All The Girls

by Berg

Image text: You know that I'll never leave you. Not as long as she's with someone.

Today's comic is pretty straightforward. A young couple (whom I'll refer to as Cueball and Cutie, just because I like the way that sounds) is in love. In the first panel, Cueball says he's lucky to have Cutie, a perfectly fine thing to say to someone when you're in love. In the second panel, Cueball tells Cutie he loves her most out of all the girls in the world, which is again a perfectly fine thing to say when you're in love. Trouble sets in, however, in the third panel, where Cueball offers his qualifying statement, that he loves Cutie the most of the subset of girls who also love Cueball back.

Now, on it's surface it would appear that Cueball is making a hollow statement, in that the subset of girls who love him back must be smaller than the set of all the girls in the world, and we assume, because we are nerds, that that subset is probably only a few girls in size. I like to be optimistic, though, and presume that Cueball, due to his smooth head and sentimental heart, is loved by nearly all the girls in the world, and so his sentiment is still very sweet.

The image text, however, crushes any optimism one might have in the situation. Written in Cueball's voice, we have another compliment/qualifier pair. Cueball assures Cutie that he'll never leave her- so long as she's with someone. Cueball clearly has an unrequited love for another, and so really is being as shitty as we all thought he was originally. Please forgive my false optimism- I know now what a cold, cruel place the world can be.

...and now, off to Comic-Con I go, where I shall find out what a crowded, stinky place the world can be. I'm learning a lot today!