War
by Berg
Image Text: They offered to make me a green beret, but I liked my regular one. Although it gets kind of squashed under my helmet.
Today's comic seems to be a parable about the perils of love during wartime. Our protagonist is seen here leaning against his pack behind a low wall, surely a good hiding spot for any gentleman with a rifle and scope. Judging by the letter he's in the midst of writing, he has a complex relationship with Cordelia. On the one hand, she's attractive. On the other hand, she's a sniper, as evidenced by the shots fired mid-missive. Cordelia's ire works against her, though, as her volley of shots has revealed her own position atop the maintenance shed. We can presume that in a matter of minutes, this love affair will go sour as the love letter is wrapped around a live grenade and "delivered," so to speak. War is indeed hell.
As to the image text, the green berets are worn only by Special Forces soldiers. It takes a lot of training to become a green beret, and as evidenced by our protagonist's clever use of decoys to outwit a sniper, he may be qualified for the honor. It sounds, however, as he didn't understand the proposition, preferring his regular beret instead. Further evidence for his idiocy is given immediately thereafter, as he confesses that he wears a beret under his helmet.
Phobia
by Jeff
Image text: Oh God, the tornado picked up snakes!
This is one of those xkcd's that's super emo. These are always a little awkward for me to read.
However, my interpretation of the second frame is that the black haired character is speaking in reference to relationships and dating and the like. She keeps turning away potential suitors with her phrase.
I don't think she keeps saying that every year to keep from becoming a storm chaser.
What's your interpretation of this Friday's emo xkcd? Who is emotional about what to whom?
Science Valentine
by Jeff
Image text: You don't use science to show that you're right, you use science to become right.
Well, there's a downer for ya.
You Hang Up First
by Jeff
Image text: No, YOU stumble past a series of post-breakup hookups in a daze as you slowly realize what you've lost and how unlikely you are ever to get it back first.
This one is pretty clear and is an escalating case of the classic "You hang up first" discussion between lovers.
G-Spot
by Jeff
Image text: The BBC lead was 'The elusive erogenous zone said to exist in some women may be a myth, say researchers who have hunted for it.' I couldn't read it with a straight face.
In the comic, the reporters asking about the G-spot article are attending the wrong conference and proceed to make a solar cells researcher very sad.
We Get It
by Jeff
Image text: The most brutal way I've ever seen someone handle this was 'Oh, you have a girlfriend. Are you going to get married?' 'I, uh, don't know--' 'Well, do you love her?' '...' 'Anyway, what were you saying about the movie?'
This comic is a social commentary on the way that some people advertise their new relationships as a way to brag to others.
Orbitals
by Jeff
Image text: And now someone drunk and hot stumbles in, one thing follows another, and the next roommate to return home sleeps in the hall lounge orbital.
This is a parody on the Pauli exclusion principle of quantum mechanics that states that no two identical fermions (electrons, protons, neutrons, muons) can occupy the same state. In the case of the comic, the state is the dorm room suite. The highest lowest level or state is in this comic is your own bedroom, then next two lower higher states are the next two bedrooms, and the lowest highest state is the couch in the living room. The image text goes on to speculate that the next lowest higher state would be the hall lounge if the living room itself was "occupied" by a romantic pair. The Pauli Sexclusion Principle dictates that no two roommates can occupy the same "state" in the case of sexual activity and it dictates the order of "states" .
The pun on the name is that when one person is barred from their room due to the sexual activity of their roomate, this is known as "sexclusion".
EDIT: Also, I'm not quite sure whether or not the drawings of the couples in the rooms are very crude stick figures...
Nowhere
by Jeff
Image text: I mean, seriously, NOWHERE? For starters, there are like a thousand species of dinosaur.
Looks like the girl in the comic would rather be riding a dinosaur than hanging out with that dude. Ouch. The rare comic that allows us to use the cynicism, love and dinosaurs tag in one post. Bet that doesn't happen again.
Creepy
by Jeff
Image text: And I even got out my adorable new netbook!
This comic is a dream sequence for the male character for the first four frames. It appears to be a social commentary about why more single men and women don't randomly talk to each other. One side is waiting for the other to show the midlest interest and the other side is waiting for the other side to show interest as well. So, no one talks to anyone else and someone writes sadly into their blog.
Brontosaurus
by Jeff
Image text: Well, sex is like a velociraptor: despite your movie-fueled lifelong neurotic obsession, unlikely to be found in your house.
And here we continue xkcd's author's obsession with the cyncism about love.
Brontosaurus is an obsolete phrase for the Apatosaurus. Brontosaurus is the "popular" (but incorrect) name for the dinosaur, but Apatosaurus is the correct name.