One-Liners
by Jeff
Image text: 'Upgrade to the latest version of Adobe Flash player to view THIS content, bitch.' ::triggers detonator::
Alright, the idea of this one is fairly straightforward, but I'll explain it anyway! In action movies, the hero usually says a catch phrase before killing off the last bad guy. In the Die Hard movies, it was "Yippee-kay-ya Motherfucker" and you get the idea.
Let's start explaining from less likely to more.
In the first frame, a memory hole is probably what is behind the character on the left in the frame, which is used to destroy or permanently alter potentially embarrassing documents and paperwork.
Frame two is pretty self explanatory, one character is mentioning that there is a problem with the math by the other character.
Frame three is reference to the US Federal Interest Rate, which is raised and lowered by the US Government.
Frame four is a reference to any internet agreement that usually is 7 million pages long that companies require you to read before you download some software or install a program. Some do not require you to scroll all the way down to the bottom before clicking "I Accept" in regards to the terms. Others do require scrolling to the bottom.
Frame five (which is hilarious if I do say so myself and I wish it would catch on) has three ways we can go with Bangarang. First it is the cry of the Lost Boys in the movie Hook. Secondly, it is a Jamaican slang word for a disturbance or an uproar. Thirdly, probably a result of the first two, it is a media player for KDE builds of Linux.
Lastly, the image text is a reference to websites that have content that is only available if you have the latest version of Adobe Flash Player. You will inevitably get this message if you try to view one of these websites on the Apple iPhone.
Stephen Hawking
by Jeff
Image text: 'Guys? The Town is supposed to be good, and I thou--' 'PHYSICIST STEPHEN HAWKING DECLARES NEW FILM BEST IN ALL SPACE AND TIME' 'No, I just heard that--' 'SHOULD SCIENCE PLAY A ROLE IN JUDGING BEN AFFLECK?' 'I don't think--' 'WHAT ABOUT MATT DAMON?'
Stephen Hawking is an American British (EDIT: Thanks SpongeBob and all the other commenters that corrected this one) physicist who is confined to an electronic wheelchair and an electronic speaking machine, but as the newspaper in the comic says, he is considered the "Smartest Man Alive". The electronic looking text is the way xkcd writes how Hawking speaks.
This comic is a reference to Hawking's recent comments saying that God could not have possibly created the universe, which coincided with the release of his new book. The comic is also referencing how everything and anything that Hawking says is picked up by every media outlet in the US (and probably abroad as well).
The movie, "The Town" is the new movie from Ben Affleck about bank robberies in Boston. Despite the Matt Damon reference in the Image text, Damon is not in "The Town". However, Damon and Affleck have worked together frequently, including the well known "Good Will Hunting" - not coincidentally also set in Boston.
EDIT: Also, head to the comments for a more straight-forward explanation that everything Steven Hawking says is front page new and always blown out of proportion.
Bad Ex
by Jeff
Image text: Since the goatee, glasses, and Seltzer & Friedberg DVD collection didn't tip you off, there will be a $20 negligence charge for this service.
In the image text, Seltzer & Friedberg refers to Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer who are writers and film-makers who have created such terrible movies such as: Scary Movie, Date Movie, Meet the Spartans and all the other films that look and sound just like those. They have never received over 10% on Rotten Tomatoes and are universally reviled by film critics.
The rarely seen character "White Hat" appears in this comic as the shoulder to lean on for Cueball.
Showdown
by Jeff
Image text: The tumbleweed then tried to roll off into the sunset, but due to the Old West's placement north of the subtropical ridge, the prevailing winds were in the wrong direction.
Hope everyone had a safe and happy Labor Day holiday. Now let's dive into this Old West themed xkcd.
First and foremost, this is a reference to the cliche of a Old West showdown in which two combatants face off against each other in an empty desert clearing. While the two combatants are staring each other down, a tumbleweed "tumbles" past them. Tumbleweeds are as the name indicates a group of weeds that get caught together and are pushed by the wind. They are usually used in movies and TV to indicate an abandoned or empty place.
Back to the comic, the tumbleweed tumbles between the two gun fighters and shoots both of the duelers.
The image text references the fact that in the Western genre of movies, the hero will ride off "into the sunset", which means the hero only appears to be riding into the sun as he or she rides of directly towards it. In this case, the tumbleweed can not "roll off into the sunset" because in the Western USA, where most Westerns are set, the jet stream or "prevailing winds" blow from west to east.
So, the tumbleweed would have to roll off into the rising sun. But, that does not work as well with the Western genre.
Desecration
by Jeff
Image text: It gets worse! You know that wizened old monk with the gypsy wife whose voodoo shop we smash up every every day after school?
This comic is a play on the standard movie set up of a house or a hotel being built on an ancient Indian burial ground. Being built over an Indian burial ground is generally a bad thing and leads to the house being haunted at the very least. The goal of the haunting is to get the people to move out of the house or dwelling so that the ancient Indians can rest in peace. The Indians in this case are referred to the Native Americans and not the people of the country of India.
This comic is a play on that because Rob and Cutie in this comic have dug up Indian bones and made puppets out of them, which the title of the comic says is certainly desecration of the ancient Indian's tombs and definitely way worse than accidentally building a house over an ancient burial ground. But since this comic is a play on the typical movie set up, Rob and Cutie think nothing of playing with ancient bones, but the fact that those bones were buried over another ancient burial ground scares them.
I'm not sure what movie the image text refers to. Anyone have an idea?
Raptor Fences
by Jeff
Image text: If at least one person has a nightmare about being swarmed by hundreds of mouse-sized dromaeosaurids, my work will have been done.
This is a reference to the movie Jurassic Park. In this scene, the power goes out and so do the electric fences that keep the raptors in their cages. This obviously puts the characters in extreme danger... unless of course like this comic, they are mini dinosaurs.
Outbreak
by Jeff
Image text: Let's get dinner after we promptly destroy all the X-7 we've manufactured.
Patient Zero is the usual terminology for the first patient tested or infected with an outbreak-style infection.
Also, it seems every zombie movie is rife with terrible mistakes which allow the slowly lurching zombies (or outbreak) to escape and spread. For example, the nurse will look at the chart and not look at the patient and then walk away. The security guard will cross the hall 2 seconds after the zombie has left the doorway.
This sounds more realistic...blast the zombie, destroy the toxin and then go on a date.
Flatland
by Jeff
Image text: Also, I apologize for the time I climbed down into your world and everyone freaked out about the lesbian orgy overseen by a priest.
Flatland is a short story by Edwin Abbott Abbott. Yes, that is really his name. In Flatland, women are represented by lines, and the more important a man is, the more sides he has. The least important male would be a triangle and the priest, in Flatland, has so many sides, he looks like a circle. So, the image text is a reference to how an xkcd stick figure would look to the members of Flatland. The text for Flatland is on Wikisource here, if you feel like browsing on your Wednesday morning.
Miegakure is an actual game in development that will allow the player to move in 4 dimensions. The website is here, with a screen shot that looks eerily similar to panel 2.
And if you didn't realize, Spongebob is a reference to Spongebob Squarepants, the Nickelodeon cartoon about a sponge named Spongebob. Spongebob is a square (as his name implies) - so that is why the character in the comic is able to draw arms and legs on the square to make him look like Spongebob Squarepants.
Single Ladies
by Jeff
Image text: Using a ring to bind someone you covet into your dark and twisted world? Wow, just got the subtext there. Also, the apparently eager Beyoncé would've made one badass Nazgȗl.
The song playing in this comic is "Single Ladies" by Beyonce. Which apparently had one of the best videos of all time... Anyhow, Gil-Galad was the last high king of the Noldor in Middle Earth. Galadriel was a queen of the elves in Middle Earth. Eru was the one god of Middle-Earth who created the Elves and Men, and Aule created the Dwarves, but Eru eventually approved Aule's creations. So, he sort of created the Dwarves as Eru was the only god to give a spirit to a being, as he did with the Dwarves.
The character in the beret is apparently the bartender in a bar that Sauron frequents. In the comic, Sauron upon hearing the song by Beyonce in the bar, has the idea to create his magic ring plan which presents the plot of the Lord of the Rings triology of books and movies.
Devotion To Duty
by Jeff
Image text: The weird sense of duty really good sysadmins have can border on the sociopathic, but it's nice to know that it stands between the forces of darkness and your cat blog's servers.
This comic is a reference to the movie, Die Hard, in which Bruce Willis' character climbs through ventilation shafts and over broken glass to kill all the bad guys and rescue the hostages, including his wife. That building was called the Nakatomi Plaza in the movie.
Uptime is just as it appears and is a measure of how much the servers are online vs. offline and usually is expressed in a %.