501: Faust 2.0
Title text: The only blood these contracts are signed in is from me cutting my hand trying to open the goddamn CD case.
E.U.L.A. is short for End-user license agreement, a license that software makers often attach to their software but people do not usually read. Agreement to a E.U.L.A. is assumed when a user uses the software or service that the E.U.L.A. is attached to, which has led a case where users have unknowingly actually agreed to give away their immortal souls because of a clause in a E.U.L.A. However, in the European Union, all provisions of these agreements that aren't already codified in law actually are not legally enforceable, unless they could be read and agreed to before purchase and first use.
A Faustian deal is done by someone who sells his soul to the devil for something desired in this life, a textbook example of wanting instant gratification. The mortal will get the things he wanted, but when he dies, have to suffer eternal torment. As the span of a human lifetime is an eyeblink compared to the lifetime of the universe, this is a really stupid thing to do. It is named after the folkloric character Faust, whose story has been the subject of numerous adaptations.
In this instance, Cueball turns a E.U.L.A. around on Mephistopheles, the demon from Christopher Marlowe's version of Faust, by posting a sign saying that anyone entering the room agrees to turn over their own immortal soul rather than negotiate with Cueball for his. It is unknown whether this clause applies only to demons, or to everyone.
The title text makes reference to how easy it is to cut open one's own hand while trying to open a newly-bought CD case. Incidentally, a pen works just fine, though the blood is referencing how Satanic contracts are signed in blood.
- Mephistopheles: Mortal! I come offering a deal-
- Cueball: Read the sign.
- Mephistopheles: "By entering this room, you agree to forfeit your own soul rather than negotiate with the mortal residing therein..." Wait, you can't-
- Cueball: Too late.
- Caption: Mephistopheles encounters the E.U.L.A.
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