596: Latitude

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The G1, especially with the new Android upgrade, is way better than I originally thought.
Title text: The G1, especially with the new Android upgrade, is way better than I originally thought.

[edit] Explanation

Black Hat made a mobile phone application to log and find addresses and business names for the locations of his friends using data from Google Latitude. His reason for this is that they use Latitude, but neglect to turn it off when engaging in "discreet" activities.

A table shows activity logs for two of Black Hat's friends: Megan and Robert, whose log is partially cut off.

Robert's log is fairly innocuous: home at 12:30 PM, school at 2:00 PM and Subway at 3:30 PM. This log suggests that "Robert" is actually Little Bobby Tables.

Megan's log appears to prove Black Hat's point: home at 11:00 AM, a sex toy store at 12:30 PM, home at 1:30 PM, another sex toy store at 2:00 PM, home at 2:30 PM, Fry's Electronics at 3:00 PM, a power tool store at 3:30 PM, home at 4:00 PM and a hospital burn ward at 4:10 PM. This suggests that Megan first tried the sex toy(s) from the first store, found them insufficiently satisfying, purchased additional sex toys from another store, was still unsatisfied, and then purchased some electronic devices and power tools (either to improve the performance of her sex toys or to apply directly for additional stimulation). The results were apparently more painful than pleasurable, necessitating a quick visit to the hospital burn ward. Overall, Megan has had a rather bad day, and would almost certainly not be pleased to learn that Black Hat has been tracking her whereabouts.

The title text shows that Randall liked the T-Mobile G1, also known as the HTC Dream, more than he previously thought.

[edit] Transcript

[Black Hat is holding a phone up to Cueball.]
Black Hat: We're in a narrow window in which people are using Google Latitude, but haven't learned the habit of turning it off when they're doing something discreetly.
Black Hat: I wrote an app to log friends' locations and work out addresses and business names.
[A timetable is visible. Each column represents a different person.]
[First column: Megan.]
11:00AM Home
12:30PM Eastview Adult Toy Store
1:30PM Home
2:00PM Laketown Sex Toy Shop
2:30PM Home
3:00PM Fry's Electronics
3:30PM Ed's Power Tool Emporium
4:00PM Home
4:10PM Hospital Burn Ward
[Second column: Rober - the rest of the name is cut off, as well as the end of each entry.]
12:30PM Home
2:00PM School
3:30PM Subway

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I thought the sex toy shops were unrelated to the last two shops - that she just did something re-e-e-eally stupid with the gizmos and power tools that landed her in the burn ward. Also, who's to say Robert didn't turn off Latitude? His schedule has some pretty big blanks. Anonymous 06:51, 4 December 2013 (UTC)

If Megan was buying a drill so she could put up shelves, that kind of destroys the joke. Why should she need to be discreet about that?
Also, I think that Robert's simple schedule of home / school / subway is a small joke about reversed expectations. A usual joke about how men spend their time (while on the internet, for example) might show a preponderance of sexually-related activity. Here, Randall has attributed the sexual experimentation to Megan instead. 00:48, 24 December 2013 (UTC)

My take on this is that Megan went to the two last stores to improve her toys, as several xkcd comics deal with DIY stuff. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I was thinking that as well: she was trying to "Tim Taylor" her sex toys, and got about the same results he would. --Aaron of Mpls (talk) 10:59, 21 August 2014 (UTC)

Perhaps the title text is a reference to the previous comic about the android girlfriend? 21:29, 13 May 2014 (UTC)

Fortunately for him, Black Hat knows how to avoid SQL injection, so he didn't lose his database when he added Little Bobby Tables ;-)
--Lou Crazy (talk) 09:39, 7 September 2015 (UTC)
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