1081: Argument Victory

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Argument Victory
Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all.
Title text: Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all.


Cueball is arguing on the internet via his phone with Hairy on his laptop. They appear to be arguing about some conspiracy theory. Since these arguments are interminable, Cueball "wins" the argument by going down a waterslide (carrying his phone, which doesn't seem like a great idea since the phone could get wet). In doing so, he willfully abandons trying to change the Hairy's mind to go have fun instead, while Hairy is still at his computer, trying to win an Internet argument.

The point here is that sometimes the battle isn't worth fighting. Cueball didn't really win the debate, but he's certainly having a lot more fun.

The title text suggests that conspiracy theorists give the people in power too much credit for planning and organization -- in reality, they seem to be just muddling through, a prospect even more worrisome than the conspiracy theories.


Cueball: I can't believe you're so wrong. I'm backed by Snopes, Wikipedia, and a half-dozen journals. You're citing .net pages with black backgrounds and like 20 fonts each.
Man: It's sad how you buy into the official story so unquestioningly. Guess some people prefer to stay asleep.
Cueball: Watch closely— I'm about to win this argument.
Man, responding electronically: how?
Cueball: By going down a waterslide.
[Cueball is sitting at the very top of a waterslide preparing to descend]
Man: So? what does that prove?
Cueball: Wheeee..
Man: You didn't win the argument!
Cueball: ...eeee

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I also think it could be a joke on the "Guess some people prefer to stay asleep." line ? 18:30, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

Conspiracy theories are typically considered (especially by non-conspiracy-theorists) to make one sleepless/have nightmares, due to their often frightening nature. 19:38, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
What the conspiracy theorist is saying is an idiomatic expression. Being "asleep" here means that the theorist's opponent has not yet opened his mind to the truth, and is willing to accept propaganda full of lies. Kind of like in The Matrix or something. (Disclaimer, I've never watched it, just read about it.) 21:12, 28 June 2017 (UTC)

I still don't understand the title text. I would think that the side that thinks "anyone who's in power has any plan at all" would be the conspiracy theorists, but how is that comforting? 14:25, 13 May 2013 (UTC)

I think he wants to say that our political leaders don't really seem to overlook our world's machinery (as conspiracy theorists assume), and that he finds this rather frightening. --Kronf (talk) 16:57, 13 May 2013 (UTC)
No, the opposite. The conspiracy theorists believe there is a plan. We suspect the opposite because we are rational and see no good evidence. Nonceexkcd (talk) 21:01, 28 January 2014 (UTC)
That's what I tried to say. --Kronf (talk) 16:02, 14 May 2014 (UTC)
I think of it as a joke, based around the stereotype of politicians having either terrible plans/policies or none at all. He finds it more comforting for them to have any plan, even if it is a conspiracy. It could be thought of as "at least they have a plan and control, instead of no plan and chaos". 09:58, 30 August 2014 (UTC)

To clarify, he finds the fact that if conspiracy theorists are right, somebody is ruling the world and by extension, looking over it and making sure it doesn't fall apart on them, as opposed to it being a chaotic unsupervised mess. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Really? Combs Hair Down? Surely there's a better name for this person... 07:13, 10 March 2015 (UTC)

Conspiracy Theorist? -Pennpenn 04:10, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

"It's unnerving to think there are gangs of giant lizards controlling the whole of mankind from the shadows, but is that less worrying than the possibility that we live in a random universe where unthinking forces could opt to snuff us out without cause or reason?" Conspiracy theories: the science behind belief in secret plots

Also one of Alan Moore's most famous quotes: "The main thing that I learned about conspiracy theory is that conspiracy theorists actually believe in a conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is chaotic. The truth is, that it is not the Jewish banking conspiracy or the grey aliens or the 12 foot reptiloids from another dimension that are in control. The truth is more frightening, nobody is in control. The world is rudderless." Wikiquote:Alan Moore AmbroseChapel (talk) 03:33, 7 September 2017 (UTC)