Title text: 'Why are you standing in the yard wearing a papal hat and a robe covered in seeds?' 'Well, the Pope is visiting our town next month ...'
Herein, the author devises a method of addressing the issue of drivers who turn up their music to irritating levels which usually results in a lot of bass coming from the car - the low frequencies being the ones that most easily penetrate the car and travel further, thus being more audible to those around the car.
As the title suggests, the idea is to condition animals to respond to a thumping bass. The machine would work as follows: every few hours, the bass would turn on, and the box would dispense food behind an opening designed to look like an open car window. Over time, local wildlife would flock to the box to get the food from inside, and would soon realise that the bread crumbs are dispensed only after the subwoofer is activated. Eventually, the animals would associate a thumping bass with food, and would approach such a noise in groups.
The end result would be that the local wildlife would approach ,and presumably attempt to enter, any car that has that same thumping bass. Drivers, in turn, would cease to turn up their music in order to prevent the groups of animals from chasing after their cars, thus solving the problem of annoyingly loud bass. This behavior modification can itself be seen as a form of classical conditioning.
The title text is a dialogue about using a similar method of conditioning to send animals after the Pope.
- Every few hours, subwoofer plays throbbing bass for 10 seconds... (with arrow pointing to subwoofer)
- ...then bread crumbs are dispensed into box (with arrow pointing to bread feeder machine)
- Opening (with arrow pointing to feeder opening shaped like a driver side car window)
- Local wildlife (with arrows pointing to birds and a squirrel)
- Protip: Leave this device in your yard for a week, then watch as the problem of loud music from passing cars solves itself.
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