1256: Questions

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Questions
To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
Title text: To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.

Explanation

Google, a rather popular internet search engine, has a feature known as autocomplete that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

All of the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the moon".

Regarding the title text: in the Peter Jackson films of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." (This subplot is entirely absent from the original novels.)

From IMDB:
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter.
Selected answers
Please help to expand this section

(Some questions in the transcript are linked to their answers.)

Question Answer
Why are ducks called ducks? According to Wiktionary, the noun duck can be traced back to the Proto-Germanic word dūkaną ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the Proto-Indo-European dʰewb- ("deep, hollow"), which also give us the verb to duck. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.

Transcript

Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.
Questions found in Google autocomplete

Section one

  • Why do whales jump
  • Why are witches green
  • Why are there mirrors above beds
  • Why do I say Uh
  • Why is sea salt better
  • Why are there trees in the middle of fields
  • Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
  • Why is there laughing in TV shows
  • Why are there doors on the freeway
  • Why are there so many SVCHOST.EXE running
  • Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica
  • Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
  • Why is there kicking in my stomach
  • Why are there two slashes after http
  • Why are there celebrities
  • Why do snakes exist
  • Why do oysters have pearls
  • Why are ducks called ducks
  • Why do they call it the clap
  • Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
  • Why is there an arrow on Aang's head
  • Why are text messages blue
  • Why are there mustaches on clothes
  • Why are there mustaches on cars
  • Why are there mustaches everywhere
  • Why are there so many birds in Ohio
  • Why is there so much rain in Ohio
  • Why is Ohio weather so weird

Section two

Beret Guy (with squirrel): Why are there squirrels
  • Why is programming so hard
  • Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor
  • Why do Americans hate soccer
  • Why do rhymes sound good
  • Why do trees die
  • Why is there no sound on CNN
  • Why aren't Pokemon real
  • Why aren't bullets sharp
  • Why do dreams seem so real

Section three

  • Why do testicles move
  • Why are there psychics
  • Why are hats so expensive
  • Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
  • Why do your boobs hurt

Section four

  • Why aren't economists rich
  • Why do Americans call it soccer
  • Why are my ears ringing
  • Why are there so many Avengers
  • Why are the Avengers fighting the X-Men
  • Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers

Section four

  • Why are there ants in my laptop
  • Why is Earth tilted
  • Why is space black
  • Why is outer space so cold
  • Why are there pyramids on the Moon
  • Why is NASA shutting down

Section five

  • Why are there tiny spiders in my house
  • Why do spiders come inside
  • Why are there huge spiders in my house
  • Why are there lots of spiders in my house
  • Why are there spiders in my room
  • Why are there so many spiders in my room
  • Why do spider bites itch
  • Why is dying so scary

Section six

  • Why is there no GPS in laptops
  • Why do knees click
  • Why aren't there E grades
  • Why is isolation bad
  • Why do boys like me
  • Why don't boys like me
  • Why is there always a Java update
  • Why are there red dots on my thighs
  • Why is lying good
Cueball: Why is sex so important

Section eight

Section nine

  • Why are there swarms of gnats
  • Why is there phlegm

Section ten

  • Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
  • Why is Psychic weak to Bug
  • Why do children get cancer
  • Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
  • Why is there ice in space

Section eleven

Megan (with ghosts): Why are there ghosts
  • Why is there an owl in my backyard
  • Why is there an owl outside my window
  • Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
  • Why do owls attack people
  • Why are AK47s so expensive

Section twelve

  • Why are there helicopters circling my house
  • Why are there gods
  • Why are there two Spocks

Section thirteen

  • Why is Mt Vesuvius there
  • Why do they say T Minus
  • Why are there obelisks
  • Why are wrestlers always wet
  • Why are oceans becoming more acidic
  • Why is Arwen dying
  • Why aren't my quail laying eggs
  • Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
  • Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America

Section fourteen

  • Why is https crossed out in red
  • Why is there a line through https
  • Why is there a red line through https on Facebook
  • Why is https important
Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing

Section fifteen

  • Why are my boobs itchy
  • Why are cigarettes legal
  • Why are the ducks in my pool
  • Why is Jesus white
  • Why is there liquid in my ear
  • Why do Q Tips feel good
  • Why do good people die
Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter
  • Why are ultrasounds important
  • Why are ultrasound machines expensive
  • Why is stealing wrong

Vertical questions

(The following are vertical.)
  • Why are there weeks
  • Why do I feel dizzy
  • Why is YKK on all zippers
  • Why are trees tall
  • Why do iguanas die
  • Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
  • Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
  • Why is there no king in England
  • Why is life so boring
  • Why is there lava
  • Why are there female Mr Mimes
  • Why is GPS free
  • Why is there Hell if God forgives


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Discussion

Another reason Poseidon is angry with Odysseus - early in the Odyssey, Odysseus blinds a cyclops who happens to be Poseidon's son.

Why did I just type the following in, when doubtless someone else has already done this..? ...a former great post just went to the main page. They probably need error-checking/rearranging/something. And feel free to delete this entire comment if it becomes superfluous. 178.104.103.140 10:19, 26 August 2013 (UTC)

Just copied your comment into the transcript area. 72.246.0.10 13:12, 26 August 2013 (UTC)
I did delete it here, just because it's copied to the main page. Thanks for your great work!--Dgbrt (talk) 22:18, 26 August 2013 (UTC)

Although I appreciate the LOTR reference, is this really the intent? What is Randall's wife's name? Delete if this is a bridge too far into personal life. --131.70.204.120 16:29, 26 August 2013 (UTC)

I answered all the questions, for my amusement. Feel free to use any answers you deem appropriate or accurate enough for the wiki. 213.66.207.152 20:06, 26 August 2013 (UTC)

I'm confused that answers are being presented in different formats. Is the hyperlinked transcript a temporary state before answers are transferred to the table? Or is the transcript just a cleaner and more desirable alternative? 98.166.43.28 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

All answers here: http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1l3na7/questions/cbvigrd -- (Some signature that looks like spamlink)

Today's XKCD is good but it looks like the omitted the first Google suggestion when you begin to type "Why does " Go to google and begin to search that... Dont' see it in today's comic. -- Glitch (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Google's suggestions can vary from user to user. At its most benign, this can be location based. For example, in Seattle, when I type "washington", I get suggestions related to Washington state and not the District of Columbia. At its most sinister, these suggestions can be based on what Google perceives your political beliefs to be. Try typing "gun" into Google. Did you get "gun show" or "gun control?" (Another thing that looks like a spamlink) --Rael (talk) 14:00, 28 August 2013 (UTC)
How odd. I got gunbroker, and then as soon as I typed space, I got gun control as well. 97.87.12.114
WHY do people complain about this? As long as you're going to get into a debate, in an open minded manner, and are going to critically evaluate the strength of arguments presented (regardless of source), then your starting inclinations shouldn't matter!
Moreover, the general internet user is only searching for zeitgeist terms so they know what websites to quote on a Facebook status, so that they can pat themselves on the back. Repeat for next topic.
Personalised results keep you comfy in your happy bubble.
In any case, the "fix" is simple. Enable do-not track requests, private browsing, or connect through proxies (Given the IPv4 saturation, most people are likely configured to have dynamic IP addresses anyway). If you're concerned about geographical location based filtering, just switch the domain name that you search on! 220.224.246.97

Why doesn't Queen Anne count as a "woman who reigned as queen in her own right"? --Nick Douglas (talk) 21:50, 2 September 2013 (UTC)

If I'm not mistaken, Queen Anne was queen dowager acting as a regent, rather than being queen in her own right. Sailorleo (talk) 03:54, 26 November 2014 (UTC)
You are mistaken. (Perhaps you're getting mixed Anne up with Mary II.) 141.101.99.37 20:31, 8 January 2016 (UTC)



Today's Comic was brought to you by the grep "why"! 98.195.202.130 18:24, 27 August 2013 (UTC)

It seems that Randall is confused about the meaning of life. All the questions he asked begin with why. I like what happens when you type "where is"... I got "where is chuck norris". --97.87.12.114 11:41, 30 August 2013 (UTC)

The term "King Consort" may not have been used in the UK, but i believe it was used before in pre Act of Unification England. When Mary Tudor married Philip II of Spain, he was accepted by Parliament and the court as King of England, but was not granted any power. It may not have been elevated to an official title yet, but he was king consort. Dr Pepper (talk) Dr Pepper

My question is "Why do we need to answer all the questions, when the answers have nothing to do with the comic?". The answers are fun and interesting, but they should be in the trivia section. The comic is explained well without them. 108.162.217.125 21:36, 8 August 2014 (UTC)

Maybe because this is a wiki and, as such, ALL information must be present. I'm not certain whether the answers help explain the comic but, as it is, I'm not entirely sure of Randall's objective with this one. 108.162.219.148 04:20, 2 November 2014 (UTC)
The purpose of this page is to EXPLAIN the comic. If you don't know what the comic is about you probably should not be trying to EXPLAIN the comic, and you probably should not comment as well. The purpose of this comic is to demonstrate in a visually interesting way the questions that we, users of the internet, ask. But without this EXPLAINATION it is fairly obvious that finding the answers to these questions do nothing to EXPLAIN the comic, especially since the answers do not give the readers any further understanding into the comic. Adding random information to a page does not EXPLAIN anything. Wiki does not mean “ALL information must be present”. Adding unnecessary information DISTRACTS from the EXPLAINATION and confuses readers, this impairs the ability of this wiki to EXPLAIN the comic. 108.162.216.209 21:44, 24 November 2014 (UTC)

The dinosaur ghost question was duplicated in the answer boxes so I deleted the extra one. Also been filling out a ton of fields.4jonah (talk) 01:35, 22 December 2014 (UTC)

Why is there an incomplete tag? What questions are unanswered? Djbrasier (talk) 19:10, 11 March 2015 (UTC)

I answered the last 2 remaining questions in section six. Can this be closed now?4jonah (talk) 21:00, 23 March 2015 (UTC)

Under "Why is outer space so cold?" it says "space is not cold", but then for "Why is there ice in space?" it begins with "space is cold". This is somewhat confusing. Please clarify. Is space cold or isn't it? 162.158.255.120 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

No idea how to edit the actual article, but it might be worth mentioning that the succession laws of the UK are no longer male-preference, and are now absolute cognatic primogenture/ absolute primogeniture. 141.101.106.107 12:45, 7 February 2016 (UTC)

Something's fishy. One question has the answer "Space is Cold." and another has the answer "Space is not cold." 108.162.212.92 00:24, 11 September 2016 (UTC)

Using a search filter, "why" appears 301 times, to date. Klyxm (talk) 3:56, 5 March 2018 (UTC)

Just a random guy passing through. For the question "Why are there psychics?" the example answer seems very confusing. Perhaps someone thought the word was "physics" instead of "psychics"? (Timestamp 20:14 21 March 2019)

Histamines are not injected into the skin in a spider's saliva. 1. It's injecting venom, not saliva. 2. Histamines are generated by the body as part of its immune response. --172.69.63.69 15:19, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

I fully intended to reintegrate any useful changes from this edit into my own, independent and edit-conflicted, edit (that obviously took longer to go through) that I pushed in over the top so that I at least could then look at what I may also then re-alter. Once I had worked out the differences. But I cannot do it immediately, and I notice it took a different slant to my own attempt to further update so I beg your indulgance while I juggle the diffs, in a local copy, for maybe an hour or two. 172.70.86.26 15:33, 9 September 2022 (UTC)

Ok, done and dusted. Anything still 'unimproved' is something I didn't think I could do anything about (or consider). 162.158.34.221 21:20, 9 September 2022 (UTC)

About "Why are there two slashes after http?", and Sir Tim Berners-Lee admits the forward slashes in every web address 'were a mistake' - it turns out that those two slashes are quite useful to create so called "scheme relative" or "protocol relative" URI by having an URI that starts with two slashes. -- JakubNarebski (talk) 10:31, 23 July 2023 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

best parts:

why are there physics, why is there a red line through https, why is there so many svchost.exe running, why aren't there guns in harry potter and why do trees die An user who has no account yet (talk) 15:42, 5 September 2023 (UTC)

Does not explain the juxtaposition jokes

I feel like this article is a little overly literal and fails to explain the actual recurring joke of the comic, which is the juxtaposition of related searches in specific orders for a humorous implication. The best example may be the series of spider-related searches capped with, "Why are spiderbites itchy?", implying that the person who was distressed about all the spiders has been bitten. Simply including the answers to the questions doesn't actually explain the source of humor. I'm pretty new here, so maybe I'm missing the point, but I don't think this article can be considered complete if the main joke isn't explained.