1274: Open Letter

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Explanation

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Under some circumstances, the United States Federal Government can temporarily shut down pending budget legislation from the United States Congress. These shutdowns are typically due to political disagreements between the President, the House of Representatives, and the Senate.

Over the years, various conspiracy theories have been proposed claiming that the United States Government is not controlled by publicly-elected officials, but rather by one or more organizations that secretly control the actions of the government (sometimes termed a "shadow government").

Randall jokes on the US government shutdown in 2013, that has been ongoing for a week and is still current as of the time of this comic, by writing a letter to the shadow government, telling them that this situation is embarrassing and asking them to fix the problem.

This comic may also be subtly arguing against the plausibility of the aforementioned conspiracy theories if one assumes that a shadow-controlled government would be more likely to operate with a singular purpose and therefore be less susceptible to paralyzing political disagreements. That is to say, if an outside organization were controlling the US government, then it would demonstrate more competence than the US government is currently exhibiting. Randall previously alluded to this in the title text to comic 1081: "Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all." This is one of several comics in which Randall expresses dismay at how many intelligent people can fall for absurd conspiracy theories; see comics 258 and 690, among others.

Addressee Brief Description
The Freemasons Fraternity claiming the legacy of medieval stonemasons. Organised in local groups, the so called Lodges.
Illuminati Secret society formed in Bavaria to further the ideas of enlightenment. Although officially banned in 1785, many conspiracy theorists believe the organisation might have survived and is still secretly exerting influence.
Scientology Self-proclaimed church founded by science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. Often criticised for alleged brainwashing of its members and accused of hiding commercial interests behind religious claims.
FEMA Agency of the United States Department of Homeland Security, that has been granted extensive authorisations in cases of emergency and is therefore believed to act as an entity independent of governmental control.
The New World Order Not a secret organisation itself, but rather the concept of establishing a totalitarian system controlled by any elitist group in this list.
The Federal Reserve Central state bank system of the United States, therefore to some degree able to control the monetary circulation of the US Dollar.
Citigroup One of the four biggest American financial service corporations. Considered by the Financial Stability Board to be a "systemically important financial institution".
Halliburton International corporation offering technical services, especially in the field of oil and gas production. Also a major supplier for the US military. Halliburton was in the headlines for unethical business practise and connections to the former US Vize President.
Google Corporation offering Internet services, most notably the Google search engine. Known for collecting massive amounts of data about its users in order to sell personalised advertisement. The idea of secret plans of Google has been mentioned in comic {792}.
The Vatican Central government of the Catholic Church and residence of the pope. Historically important not only as a religious authority, but also as a secular political power.
Bilderburg (correctly: Bilderberg) Annual conference of important politicians, bankers, directors of major corporations and other people of influence, therefore considered the quintessential elitist meeting.
Walmart American retail corporation, best known for the eponymous chain of warehouse stores. As of January 2013, Walmart is the world's largest public corporation by revenue.
The Rothschilds Family of Jewish financiers that was later elevated into European nobility. Believed to exercise influence through considerable wealth.
Knights Templar Originally a medieval Christian military order of considerable influence, the Knights Templar were inspiration for many successive (secret) organisations that are sometimes believed to undermine governmental authorities. There is also an eponymous order affiliated with Freemasonry.
HAARP Ionospheric research project of the US military. Believed by some conspiracy theorists to conceal attempts to control the weather and trigger catastrophes.
The UN Large intergovernmental organization; most countries in the world are members. It has little direct power unless its member states choose to cooperate (except for its invisible black helicopter squadrons).
Skull & Bones A secret society at the Yale University that has many influential American politicians amongst its members, including former President George W. Bush.
Bohemian Grove Campground of the private Bohemian Club in San Francisco, known for hosting an annual encampment of club members and selected guests who are among the most powerful men in the world.
The Koch Brothers The owners of the second-largest private company in the United States and advocates of free market ideals. Known for contributions to libertarian and conservative political campaigns.
George Soros Business magnate and investor, who is well-known for supporting liberal political causes.
The Knights of Malta
The CFR
Exxon Mobil
The Zionists Political movement favouring the creation of a Jewish homeland, a goal achieved with the creation of the state of Israel. In a conspiracy-theory context, it references the belief that wealthy and powerful Jews (such as the above-referenced Rothschilds) control political and social institutions, as presented e.g. in the (fake) Protocols of Zion.
The Vril Society
The Lizard People Secret snake-men, similar to the aliens from V (TV series). This is probably a reference to the conspiracy theories of David Icke, which include the idea that an ancient race of god-like, shapeshifting Lizards have interbred with humans, and that these half-bloods now secretly control the world.
and everyone else who secretly controls the US Government