12: Poisson

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Poisson distributions have no value over negative numbers
Title text: Poisson distributions have no value over negative numbers


In this comic, Cueball expresses himself as a Poisson distribution.

Per Wikipedia, in mathematics, a Poisson distribution is a distribution that shows the probability of a given number of events occurring in a fixed interval of time or space. The horizontal axis typically represents the “number of events” while the vertical axis is a decimal representing the probability (i.e. 0.5 for 50% probability) a given number of events will occur in that fixed interval of time or space. It is commonly represented by a bar graph, or a point graph (sometimes with a line connection to show a trend, even though there is no actual value for non-integers).

A simple example is the number of heads coming up on a fair coin flip. The distribution for one coin flip should be 0.5 at 0 heads and 0.5 at 1 heads; for 2 coin flips, the distribution would be 0.25 at 0 heads, 0.5 at 1 heads and 0.25 at 2 heads; Etc. Multiple graphs like this are sometimes overlaid on one graph with a legend to distinguish the points (one coin flip in red, two coin flips in blue, etc).

What's important to note for this comic is that this distribution only has data points on non-negative integers and is not continuous through decimal numbers or (as the image text tells us) negative numbers because events can’t occur 0.3 of a time, or -2 times.

After implying that the concept of a person being a mathematical distribution is irrational, Black Hat suggests he is “less than zero”. Since the Poisson Distribution doesn’t exist or has no value at negative values, Cueball either leaves or disappears magically.

Hence, the punchline is the same as the image text: Cueball doesn't exist to Black Hat anymore, because he has a value less than zero.


[A stick figure says to another black-hat-wearing figure.]

Man: I'm a poisson distribution!

Man: Still a poisson distribution.

Hat Guy: What the hell, man. Why do you keep saying that?

Man: Because I'm totally a poisson distribution.

Hat Guy: I'm less than zero.

[Man is gone; Hat Guy is whistling.]


  • Randall was still experimenting with character design, as Cueball has a face in the first two frames.

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Rikthoff (talk) The date of issue of this comic is off. Does anybody have the correct date? Does anybody know the song that BlackHat is singing in the last frame?

I always imagine the song is either the Bangles cover of "hazy shade of winter" from the movie Less than Zero though I have also imagined it to be "saved by zero" by the Fixx.

Did anyone notice the pun on poison and Poisson? 18:39, 10 March 2014 (UTC)
What pun? Replacing "Poisson" with "poison" anywhere doesn't produce any additional meaning. Zowayix (talk) 18:54, 29 April 2014 (UTC)
On the other hand, "Poisson", in French, despite being the name of the discoverer of this distribution, also means "fish". thus maybe the "no memory" joke? 21:43, 27 April 2017 (UTC)

Note that the 'h' in the word 'hell' looks like 'λ'. 20:03, 21 July 2014 (UTC)

Also note that the Poisson distribution is "memoryless" (like the exponential distribution) which explains why the Poisson is content to continue repeating this fact. 16:44, 21 April 2015 (UTC)

The coinflip distribution described in the second paragraph not a Poisson Distribution. Rather it is a binomial distribution (or a Bernoulli distribution for the single flip case). 11:11, 7 September 2015 (UTC)

I deleted it. 12:25, 7 September 2015 (UTC)

The first three panels establish that Cueball is a Poisson distribution, that Black Hat finds him annoying and that both parties exist and can communicate with each other. In other words, Black Hat's value is compatible with a Poisson distribution. The implication of panel three seems to be that Black Hat isn't stating his value but is stating his change in value to "I'm less than zero." This is similar to the phrase, "I'm less than impressed." The change in value causes Cueball to vanish. In the fourth panel, Black Hat is whistling a happy tune; pleased at having removed an annoyance. --DP9000 (talk) 02:44, 22 February 2016 (UTC)

fish red dwarf

honestly my first thought was Rimmers advanced theory on pourus circuits in his astro navigation exam in which he wrote i am a fish numerous times saluted and passed out but a hot second was 'i am a fish merchant'? -- Strawdog (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

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