Difference between revisions of "1350: Lorenz/Transcript"

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{{notice|More panels/text have been appearing on the comic constantly since its debut, so expanding this transcript is expected to be a constant work in progress.<br>We still probably have many storylines missing. Feel free to add more if you find them!}}
 +
 +
{{incomplete transcript}}
 +
 +
This is the transcript of [[1350: Lorenz]]. Here, we strive to capture as many storylines as possible, but this is expected to be a constant work in progress as new panels become available in the comic.
 +
 +
==How to edit==
 +
How to add a collapsible branch:
 +
<source>
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
(title text - click "show"!)
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
(text to be hidden/shown)
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
</source>
 +
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
(title text - click "show"!)
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
(text to be hidden/shown)
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 +
A vertical line signifies a tree of multiple available options.
 +
<source>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
A) Yes!<br>
 +
B) No!<br>
 +
C) Maybe!
 +
{{endline}}
 +
</source>
 +
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
A) Yes!<br>
 +
B) No!<br>
 +
C) Maybe!
 +
{{endline}}
 +
 +
Hints and warnings:<br>
 +
This system is designed to be very easy to read, but when editing the code it may be hard to find the right panels amidst a sea of different storylines. Make extensive use of Ctrl+F and the Preview function. If you have a lot of text to add, save it somewhere else in case of edit conflicts. Occasionally the same line of text is found more than once in different places; make sure you are editing the right one.
 +
 
==Transcript==
 
==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
+
'''Knit Cap Girl''':<br>
:[An accurate transcript will be impossible to create because the comic changes over time..]
+
[Typing on the laptop and thinking.]<br>
 +
([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:be7a3304-b685-11e3-8001-94de80a03a29 permalink])
 +
 
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Refresh... No new email... Refresh... No new tweets... Refresh... ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6479d184-b9a0-11e3-b947-94de80a03a39 permalink])
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
 
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
So you're still refusing to use Facebook?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Wanna build a snowman?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Hey. I hear Godot is in town. Wanna try to meet him?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
You know. Your car's on fire.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game. (branch 1) ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6479d184-b9a0-11e3-b947-94de80a03a39 permalink])
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Hairy visits Knit Cap Girl.]<br>
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
There's something weird out on the lawn.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
 
 +
'''Hat Guy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
This is an apartment. We don't have a lawn.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy leave the house. They pass by a moat.]
 +
 
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
OK, two weird things.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
 
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I count three.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Why is there a gap here?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Who tiled the moat?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I can see a creeper down there.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''': Damn Griefers.
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Is this 1-1 from Mario?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl and Hairy pass by a tree.]<br>
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Why does that tree looks fake?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Narrator''': A wild Pikachu appeared!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Enemy Pikachu used "Theft"!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': ...<br>
 +
'''Pikachu''': Um...
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Actually, it's the final castle. Grab your Fire Flower!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
It's over this way.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I've never been this far before!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Hairy''': Are you going insane again?
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{endline}}
 +
 
 +
 
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
See? It's like a glitch in the Matrix.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
How far can we go?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
What the fuck?!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
How... How do we get everything back?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
This isn't where I left that...
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
 
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I have a lawn?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl and Hairy leave the house. They pass by a moat.]<br>
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Hmmm, did you order a moat?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
It helps keep bobcats out.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Of course. All cool kids have moats in their yards.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I don't have the best relationship with my mailman.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Yep. Delivered in two days, courtesy of Amazon Prime.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I don't remember this being here.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
It has begun! That's one of the first holes in reality.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I've been working on a theory that 2048 is a tool for the old ones to open up portals to this reality.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
What about black holes? Those don't count?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
We must go deeper.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I wanted to jump over the massive sinkhole, but nooo, someone just had to find out what was down there.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Oh, I had the moving company install it last week.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
We poop in it.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Finally got you out of the damn house.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Narrator''': A wild Pikachu appeared!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': ...<br>
 +
'''Pikachu''': Um...<br>
 +
'''Pikachu''': Well then.<br>
 +
'''Pikachu''': I might have left surprises in that direction.<br>
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Look how deep it goes!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I wonder if we can get someone to fall in?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I'm going in. You can come if you want to. I think I see stars down there.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
That was a missing opportunity.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I should come outside more often.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
It looks like I can see Moria from here.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
You see Moria from everywhere, Hairy.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Narrator''': A wild Pikachu appeared!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Google Maps didn't warn me of this.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Enemy Pikachu used "Uplift!"<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Enemy Pikachu used "Cute Face!"<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Enemy Pikachu used "Faceless"!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Where's Twitch when I need help?<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Enemy Pikachu used "Abandonment"!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Enemy Pikachu used "The Discrete Metric"!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Enemy Pikachu used "Extrude"!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': ...<br>
 +
'''Pikachu''': Um...<br>
 +
'''Pikachu''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Now I only have Struggle left. Tie?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Pikachu''': No fair!
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
We are the knights who say Ni!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
What is even going on here?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Gathered the ink!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': Enemy Pikachu used "Granite"!<br>
 +
'''Narrator''': It's not very effective...
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Yeah, who did you think gave them a balrog?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
One does not simple "give" a balrog.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
What? You weren't using it!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Gift-wrapping's the hardest part.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Moria is an anagram of Mario!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl and Hairy pass by a tree.]<br>
 +
'''Hairy''': Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall.
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
 
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I hope it's not a bobcat this time.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[A giant hole appears and they fall into it.]<br>
 +
Knit Cap Girl and Hairy: Aaaaa...<br>
 +
[Knit Cap Girl wakes up.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''': Gasp [Goes to his desk.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''': Yawn [Sits at his desk.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Might as well clear more tiles.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Hairy visits Knit Cap Girl again.]<br>
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Um, there's a hole in your lawn...
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
If it doesn't lead to a 1024 tile, I'm leaving.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Damn bobcats.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Well it was here...
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I don't think it was bobcats this time. Unless they have backshoes...
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I just had a dream about that.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside again and fall in the hole again~.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl and Hairy''': Aaaaa...<br>
 +
[Knit Cap Girl wakes up, leaves the bed and finds a boomerang.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
It looks like is [sic] fell from space.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl throwns the boomerang away and it hits something.]<br>
 +
Crash!<br>
 +
[Knit Cap Girl runs away.]
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I hope this isn't just another one of those dreams that keeps coming back at you.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl throws the boomerang twice, only for it to return to him both times.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''': Hm. I was expecting a shark.<br>
 +
[Knit Cap Girl throwns the boomerang again, and it returns to him again.]
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I hope this was not thrown by a bobcat.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl throws the boomerang, only for it to return to him .]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''': There's a mesage written on it.<br>
 +
[Knit Cap Girl throws the boomerang again. It hits something.]<br>
 +
Crash!<br>
 +
[Knit Cap Girl runs away.]
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
There's someone at the door looking for you.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I made an apple pie.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
If you want to do that, I'm rebuilding my bathroom this afternoon.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Definitely not going outside today.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Thank God it wasn't a bobcat.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
You just got a package. It's by the door.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Why is there a bobcat on your lawn?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
There's somewhere [sic] weird out on the lawn.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
This seems familiar.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''': I hope it's not a velociraptor.
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Hold up. I need to get my wingsuit first.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I hope it's not a giant hole.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside. They pass by a tree.]<br>
 +
'''Hairy''': How disappointed are you?<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I was expecting a bobcat.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Oh? That's the other tree.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Eh, not that much.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I have a bad feeling about this.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Hey do you know why there's a giant hole in the yard?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''': I swear if it's a bobcat.<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Why did you bring me here?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
This dream has been looping for years, and yet we never tire of it. Why is that?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[There is a gap in the ground. Knit Cap Girl jumps over it, Hairy looks into it.]
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Hmmm... I should buy a shovel.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl looks at his screen wondering.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Wow! Shovels sure are expensive!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Shovels can't be actually made out of two sticks and a row of rocks?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl is wondering more. Hairy comes. They connect their laptops. Hairy is wondering. Knit Cap Girl tries something at Hairy's laptop.]
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
How can there be 36 types of shovel??!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
These prices are insane! I wonder if you can rent a shovel...
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
If you reprogrammed the squirrel laser to target hipsters again...
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside.]<br>
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Let's just say we won't have to worry about parking.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
No, now they're just wearing wigs ironically.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Things may have gotten out of control a little.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
 
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
At least it improved their haircuts.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
There are many options. Not everyone will see the same options. We are trying to capture as many options as possible in the transcript below. '''The order and options has changed since the transcripter captured the dialogue'''....The dialogue is likely based on click-through rates and hence will change over time based on which choices are clicked most using {{w|A/B_testing|A/B measurement techniques..}}
+
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
Often, when a panel is without any choices to make, there is only the option "Continue" to see the next panel.
+
{{beginbranch}}
 +
There's a dinosaur at the door.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''T-Rex''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Self-doubt crippled my arms. Can I have yours?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''T-Rex''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Never answer your mobile phone while I am addressing you!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[T-Rex is going to step on a house.]<br>
 +
'''T-Rex''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
I think you just entered a dead zone.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl is inside the house. She wakes up from a dream, goes outside and finds a boomerang.]
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
'''1st Pane:''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:be7a3304-b685-11e3-8001-94de80a03a29 permalink])<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
Knit Cap Guy:
+
Kids these days.
* Refresh... No new email... Refresh... No new tweets... Refresh...
+
{{midbranch}}
* These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game.
+
[Knit Cap Girl is inside the house. She wakes up from a dream, and goes back to her computer.]  
* These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game. [There are two completely separate branches with this same text. In one of them, it's written "i'll" in lowercase rather than "I'll".]
+
{{endbranch}}
* Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on.
 
* Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays.
 
* Gravity. Lots of it.
 
* Hurry! We're in talks with facebook.
 
  
:'''2nd Pane: Refresh Branch''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6479d184-b9a0-11e3-b947-94de80a03a39 permalink])<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:Hairy:
+
Die you monster.
:* So you're still refusing to use Facebook?
+
{{midbranch}}
:* Wanna build a snowman?
+
[Hairy is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream, and starts singing.]<br>
:* Hey. I hear Godot is in town. Wanna try to meet him?
+
'''Hairy''': [Singing] I woke up like this.  
:* You know. Your car's on fire.
+
{{endbranch}}
:* Did you get my email yet?
+
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:'''2nd Pane: Stupid Tiles Branch''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:79f036ac-b9a0-11e3-9003-94de80a03a39 permalink])<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:[Hairy visits Knit Cap Guy.]
+
Also, have you heard about Tumblr?
:Hairy:
+
{{midbranch}}
:* There's something weird out on the lawn.
+
{{endbranch}}
:* There's a dinosaur at the door.
 
:* I heard Home Depot has 1024 bathroom tiles.
 
:* I think I saw a "4096" tile outside somewhere.
 
  
::'''3rd Pane: Something Weird Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::Knit Cap Guy:
+
Also I have some trenchant observations on language and philosophy to make.
::* This is an apartment. We don't have a lawn.
+
{{midbranch}}
::* I have a lawn?
+
[T-Rex is going to step on a house.]<br>
::* I hope it's not a bobcat this time.
+
'''T-Rex''': Also, your brain is like this house.<br>
::* If you reprogrammed the squirrel laser to target hipsters again...
+
[Knit Cap Girl is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream and goes back to his computer.]
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::'''4th-5th Panes: Apartment Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy leave the house. They pass by a moat.]
+
It's not like you're using them.  
:::Hairy:
+
{{midbranch}}
:::* OK, two weird things.
+
{{endbranch}}
:::* I can see a creeper down there.
+
{{endline}}
:::* Is this 1-1 from Mario?
+
{{endbranch}}
:::* See? It's like a glitch in the Matrix.
 
:::* This isn't where I left that...
 
  
::::'''6th Pane: Two Weird Things Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::Hairy:
+
I need a hand!
::::* I count three.
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* Why is there a gap here?
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* Who tiled the moat?
 
  
::::'''6th Pane: Creeper Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::Knit Cap Guy: Damn Griefers.
+
Did you think he was joking?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::'''6th Pane: Mario Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy pass by a tree.]
+
Sorry for just barging in, I couldn't reach the doorbell.  
::::Hairy:
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* Why does that tree looks fake?
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* Actually, it's the final castle. Grab your Fire Flower!
+
{{endline}}
::::* It's over this way.
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* I've never been this far before!
 
  
:::::'''7th-11th Panes: Fake Tree Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared!
+
I heard Home Depot has 1024 bathroom tiles.
:::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Theft"!
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
+
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
:::::Narrator: ...
+
{{beginline}}
:::::Pikachu: Um...
+
{{beginbranch}}
 +
But how many bathrooms?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::'''7th Pane: Never This Far Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::Hairy: Are you going insane again?
+
That's 2^5 more than Ikea, I need to see for myself.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::'''6th Pane: Matrix Glitch Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
Let's go, I can keep playing on my phone on the drive.
::::* How far can we go?
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* What the fuck?!
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* How... How do we get everything back?
 
  
:::'''4th-5th Panes: Lawn Question Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy leave the house. They pass by a moat.]
+
Pfft. Amateurs. Let's go mock them.  
:::Hairy:
+
{{midbranch}}
:::* Hmmm, did you order a moat?
+
{{endbranch}}
:::* I don't remember this being here.
+
{{endline}}
:::* Look how deep it goes!
+
{{endbranch}}
:::* It looks like I can see Moria from here.
 
  
::::'''6th Pane: Order Moat Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
I think I saw a "4096" tile outside somewhere.
::::* It helps keep bobcats out.
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* Of course. All cool kids have moats in their yards.
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* I don't have the best rerlationship with my mailman.
 
::::* Yep. Delivered in two days, courtesy of Amazon Prime.
 
  
::::'''6th Pane: Don't Remember Branch'''<br>
+
{{endline}}
::::Knit Cap Guy:
 
::::* It has begun! That's one of the first holes in reality.
 
::::* I wanted to jump over the massive sinkhole, but nooo, someone just had to find out what was down there.
 
::::* Oh, I had the moving company install it last week.
 
::::* We poop in it.
 
::::* Finally got you out of the damn house.
 
  
:::::'''7th Pane: Hole in Reality Branch'''<br>
+
{{endbranch}}
:::::Knit Cap Guy:
 
:::::* I've been working on a theory that 2048 is a tool for the old ones to open up portals to this reality.
 
:::::* What about black holes? Those don't count?
 
:::::* We must go deeper.
 
  
::::::'''7th-13th Panes: Damn House Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::::Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared!
+
These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game. (branch 2) ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:ffdd8916-b9a7-11e3-8001-002590d77bdd permalink])
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"!
+
{{midbranch}}
::::::Narrator: ...
+
[Hairy visits Knit Cap Girl.]<br>
::::::Pikachu: Um...
+
'''Hairy''':
::::::Pikachu: Well then.
+
{{beginline}}
::::::Pikachu: I might have left surprises in that direction.
 
  
::::'''6th Pane: Look How Deep Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::Hairy:
+
What's with those tiny games you keep playing, anyway?
::::* I wonder if we can get someone to fall in?
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* I'm going in. You can come if you want to. I think I see stars down there.
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* That was a missing opportunity.
 
::::* I should come outside more often.
 
  
::::'''6th Pane: Moria Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
Isn't that sort of meaningless?
::::* You see Moria from everywhere, Hairy.
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* Yeah, who did you think gave them a balrog?
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* Moria is an anagram of Mario!
 
  
:::::'''7th-10th Panes: Moria Everywhere Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared!
+
Up for a dangerous experiment with no pay?
:::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"!
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
+
{{endbranch}}
:::::Narrator:
 
:::::* Google Maps didn't warn me of this.
 
:::::* Enemy Pikachu used "The Discrete Metric"!
 
:::::* Gathered the ink!
 
  
::::::'''11th-21th Panes: Google Maps Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
+
You won't believe what just fell off of your roof.
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Uplift!"
+
{{midbranch}}
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
+
{{endbranch}}
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Cute Face!"
 
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
 
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Faceless"!
 
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
 
::::::Narrator: Where's Twitch when I need help?
 
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
 
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Abandonment"!
 
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
 
  
::::::'''11th-15th Panes: Discrete Metric Branch'''<br>
+
{{endline}}
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
+
{{endbranch}}
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Extrude"!
 
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
 
::::::Narrator: ...
 
::::::Pikachu: Um...
 
::::::Pikachu:
 
::::::* Now I only have Struggle left. Tie?
 
::::::* We are the knights who say Ni!
 
::::::* What is even going on here?
 
  
:::::::'''16th Pane: Struggle Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::::Pikachu: No fair!
+
Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Laptop''': "...and let's go live to the debate."<br>
 +
[Two politicians are debating on TV.]<br>
 +
'''Politician 1''':
 +
{{beginline}}
  
::::::'''11th-13th Panes: Gathered Ink Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
+
In contrast to my oppponent, who I quote, "Never liked Firefly much to begin with."
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Granite"!
+
{{midbranch}}
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
+
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::'''7th-10th Panes: Balrog Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
...but even if you tied enough birds to the car, would you get them to take off in unison?
:::::* One does not simple "give" a balrog.
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::* What? You weren't using it!
+
'''Politician 2''':
:::::* Gift-wrapping's the hardest part.
+
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Tie a predatory bird to the car with a somewhat shorter rope so that it will scare off the rest of the birds without being able to reach them.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::'''7th Pane: Anagram Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy pass by a tree.]
+
Training. That's why I support the "Airlift Act", which would put more resources into the hands of bird educators everywhere.
:::::Hairy: Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall.
+
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Politician 1''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
But is "Airlift" an acronym?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
There are birds outside tied to a car.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Cool, let's see who we should vote for.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::'''4th-12th Panes: Bobcat Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::[A giant hole appears and they fall into it.]
+
I know who I'm voting for.
:::Knit Cap Guy and Hairy: Aaaaa...
+
{{midbranch}}
:::[Knit Cap Guy wakes up.]
+
{{endbranch}}
:::Knit Cap Guy: Gasp [Goes to his desk.]
 
:::Knit Cap Guy: Yawn [Sits at his desk.]
 
:::Knit Cap Guy:
 
:::* Might as well clear more tiles.
 
:::* Definitely not going outside today.
 
:::* Thank God it wasn't a bobcat.
 
:::* Hmmm... I should buy a shovel.
 
  
::::'''13th Pane: Clear More Tiles Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::[Hairy visits Knit Cap Guy again.]
+
How many birds? ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:bb0ca5f6-b9fc-11e3-8016-002590d77bdd permalink])
::::Hairy:
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* Um, there's a hole in your lawn...
+
'''Hairy''':
::::* There's someone at the door looking for you.
+
{{beginline}}
::::* I made an apple pie.
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::* If you want to do that, I'm rebuilding my bathroom this afternoon.
+
I call her "Serenity."
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::'''14th Pane: Hole in the Lawn Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
So when you said birds...
:::::* If it doesn't lead to a 1024 tile, I'm leaving.
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::* Damn bobcats.
+
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
:::::* I just had a dream about that.
+
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Wait. The birds are inside!?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
'''White Hat''': Want to forget your dreams? There's a pill for that!
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::::'''15th-16th Panes: Damn Bobcats Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::::Hairy:
+
'''Someone inside the rocket''': I needed to escape from politics anyway.
::::::* Well it was here...
+
{{midbranch}}
::::::* I don't think it was bobcats this time. Unless they have backshoes...
+
'''Voice inside the rocket''': "…And let’s go live to the debate". ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:8c25769e-badf-11e3-8001-002590d77bdd permalink])
 +
'''Other spacecraft''': We observe your speed to be 38.5%c, and your time is passing at 92.3% the rate of ours. Does this mirror your observations?
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::::'''15th-22th Panes: Dream Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy go outside again and fall in the hole again~.]
+
All terms are relative.  
::::::Knit Cap Guy and Hairy: Aaaaa...
+
{{midbranch}}
::::::[Knit Cap Guy wakes up, leaves the bed and finds a boomerang.]
+
{{endbranch}}
::::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
{{endline}}
::::::* It looks like is [sic] fell from space.
+
{{endbranch}}
::::::* I hope this isn't just another one of those dreams that keeps coming back at you.
 
::::::* I hope this was not thrown by a bobcat.
 
  
:::::::'''23th-26th Panes: Space Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::::[Knit Cap Guy throwns the boomerang away and it hits something.]
+
Liquefied bird fuel is the way to the future.
:::::::Crash!
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::::[Knit Cap Guy runs away.]
+
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::::'''23th-34th Panes: Coming Back Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::::[Knit Cap Guy throws the boomerang twice, only for it to return to him both times.]
+
Well, by “birds” and “car” I really meant a rocket. There’s totally a rocket in your lawn, man.
:::::::Knit Cap Guy: Hm. I was expecting a shark.
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::::[Knit Cap Guy throwns the boomerang again, and it returns to him again.]
+
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::::'''23th-30th Panes: Thrown by Bobcat Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::::[Knit Cap Guy throws the boomerang, only for it to return to him .]
+
The owls in our barn are forming a union.
:::::::Knit Cap Guy: There's a mesage written on it.
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::::[Knit Cap Guy throws the boomerang again. It hits something.]
+
{{endbranch}}
:::::::Crash!
 
:::::::[Knit Cap Guy runs away.]
 
  
::::'''13th Pane: Thank God Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::Hairy:
+
Or course: Avian Implemented Reuseable Lifter and Ingenuous Flight Technology!
::::* You just got a package. It's by the door.
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* Why is there a bobcat on your lawn?
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* There's somewhere [sic] weird out on the lawn.
+
{{endline}}
::::* Hey do you know why there's a giant hole in the yard?
+
{{endbranch}}
  
::::'''14th Pane: Something Weird Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
But you must agree that a bitd in the hand is worth more than three educators in the bush.
::::* This seems familiar.
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* Hold up. I need to get my wingsuit first.
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* I hope it's not a giant hole.
 
::::* I have a bad feeling about this.
 
  
::::'''15th-18th Pane: Familiar Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy go outside.]
+
Incredible!
::::Knit Cap Guy: I hope it's not a velociraptor.
+
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::'''15th-18th Pane: Hope Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy go outside. They pass by a tree.]
+
Wait... Is that like people who educate birds, or birds that teach?
::::Hairy: How disappointed are you?
+
{{midbranch}}
::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* I was expecting a bobcat.
+
{{endline}}
::::* Oh? That's the other tree.
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* Eh, not that much.
 
  
::::'''14th-16th Panes: Do You Know Why Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy go outside.]
+
By opening and closing an umbrella near them.
::::Knit Cap Guy: I swear if it's a bobcat.
+
{{midbranch}}
::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* Why did you bring me here?
 
::::* This dream has been looping for years, and yet we never tire of it. Why is that?
 
  
:::::'''17th Pane: Dream Loop Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::[There is a gap in the ground. Knit Cap Guy jumps over it, Hairy looks into it.]
+
One word: Fiscal hawks.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::'''13th-14th Panes: Buy Shovel Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::[Knit Cap Guy looks at his screen wondering.]
+
And if elected, I vow to win this war on Christmas once and for all!
::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* Wow! Shovels sure are expensive!
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* Shovels can't be actually made out of two sticks and a row of rocks?
 
::::* How can there be 36 types of shovel??!
 
::::* These prices are insane! I wonder if you can rent a shovel...
 
  
:::::'''15th-18th Panes: Sticks and Rocks Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::[Knit Cap Guy is wondering more. Hairy comes. They connect their laptops. Hairy is wondering. Knit Cap Guy tries something at Hairy's laptop.]
+
I agree with my opponent all all [sic] issues and I think his economic plan is fantastic!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::'''4th-5th Panes: Squirrel Laser Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy go outside.]
+
Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays.
:::Knit Cap Guy:
+
{{midbranch}}
:::* Let's just say we won't have to worry about parking.
+
[Knit Cap Girl is confused, staring at his laptop.]<br>
:::* No, now they're just wearing wigs ironically.
+
'''Knit Cap Girl''': ??<br>
:::* Things may have gotten out of control a little.
+
'''Knit Cap Girl''':
:::* At least it improved their haircuts.
+
{{beginline}}
  
::'''3rd Pane: Bathroom Tiles Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::Knit Cap Guy:
+
Now I just need to look up what a "beard error" is...
::* But how many bathrooms?
+
{{midbranch}}
::* That's 2^5 more than Ikea, I need to see for myself.
+
[Knit Cap Girl has ?? next to her head to signify confusion. Hairy walks in. (continue) Hairy is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing. Hairy has ??? next to his head. Hairy had stepped back while the character is checking on Hairy's laptop computer. Knit Cap Girl is holding something rectangular.]<br>
::* Let's go, I can keep playing on my phone on the drive.
+
'''Hairy''':
::* Pfft. Amateurs. Let's go mock them.
+
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
The USB cable appears to be mono-directional.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::'''3rd Pane: Dinosaur Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::T-Rex:
+
Kernel mites?
::* Self-doubt crippled my arms. Can I have yours?
+
{{midbranch}}
::* I need a hand!
+
{{endbranch}}
::* Did you think he was joking?
 
::* Sorry for just barging in, I couldn't reach the doorbell.
 
  
:::'''4th Pane: Crippled Arms Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::T-Rex:
+
I'm not sure rubbing butter on it will help
:::* Never answer your mobile phone while I am addressing you!
+
{{midbranch}}
:::* Also, have you heard about Tumblr?
+
[Hairy and Knit Cap Girl are handling their computers more aggressively.]<br>
:::* Also I have some trenchant observations on language and philosophy to make.
+
'''Knit Cap Girl''': ARGH!
:::* It's not like you're using them.
+
[They both stop. Knit Cap Girl walks away, her chair turned 180 degrees. Pushing aside the chair, she returns with a fiery blowtorch while wearing goggles.]<br>
 +
'''Hairy''': [holding up a finger] Um.<br>
 +
[Knit Cap Girl's computer was so burned, not only steam is coming out of the computer, but even the desk is noticeably burnt. The cable (apparently also burned) hangs from Hairy's laptop computer. The used blowtorch is clumsily laid sideways be the side of the desk. Both Knit Cap Girl (whose goggles are pushed off his eye) and Hairy are looking at the calamity. The chair is almost out of view. The goggles are on the floor while the chair is nowhere to be seen. Hairy and Knit Cap Girl are walking away from the scene.]<br>
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Are you all of a sudden in the mood for Thai food?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::'''5th Pane: Mobile Phone Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::[T-Rex is going to step on a house.]
+
Let's try OpenBSD next time...
::::T-Rex:
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* I think you just entered a dead zone.
+
[First panel is of a panned view. Hairy and Knit Cap Girl are walking on a path away from a house. Next panel is back to a "normal camera view".]<br>
::::* Kids these days.
+
'''Hairy''':
::::* Die you monster.
+
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Okay then.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::'''6th Pane: Dead Zone Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::[Knit Cap Guy is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream, goes outside and finds a boomerang.]
+
Let's go exploring!
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::'''6th Pane: Kids These Days Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::[Knit Cap Guy is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream, and goes back to his computer.]
+
I love Windows.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::'''6th Pane: Die You Monster Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::[Hairy is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream, and starts singing.]
+
Guess not.
:::::Hairy: [Singing] ''I woke up like this.''
+
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::'''5th-11th Panes: Language and Philosophy Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::[T-Rex is going to step on a house.]
+
If you'd done the other one, maybe the popcorn would have popped.
::::* T-Rex: Also, your brain is like this house.
+
{{midbranch}}
:::: [Knit Cap Guy is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream and goes back to his computer.]
+
{{endbranch}}
  
:'''2nd Pane: Stupid Tiles Branch''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:ffdd8916-b9a7-11e3-8001-002590d77bdd])<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:[Hairy visits Knit Cap Guy.]
+
Let's see if rubbing some bacon on it will work.
:Hairy:
+
{{midbranch}}
:* What's with those tiny games you keep playing, anyway?
+
{{endbranch}}
:* Isn't that sort of meaningless?
 
:* Up for a dangerous experiment with no pay?
 
:* You won't believe what just fell off of your roof.
 
  
:'''2nd-3rd Panes: Political Thing Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:Laptop: "...and let's go live to the debate."
+
Let's try Linux next time...
:[Two politicians are debating on TV.]
+
{{midbranch}}
:Politician 1:
+
{{endbranch}}
:* In contrast to my oppponent, who I quote, "Never liked Firefly much to begin with."
+
{{endline}}
:* ...but even if you tied enough birds to the car, would you get them to take off in unison?
+
{{endbranch}}
:* And if elected, I vow to win this war on Christmas once and for all!
 
:* I agree with my opponent all all [sic] issues and I think his economic plan is fantastic!
 
  
::'''4th Pane: Tied Birds Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::Politician 2:
+
Yep. It's haunted.
::* Tie a predatory bird to the car with a somewhat shorter rope so that it will scare off the rest of the birds without being able to reach them.
+
{{midbranch}}
::* Training. That's why I support the "Airlift Act", which would put more resources into the hands of bird educators everywhere.
+
{{endbranch}}
::* By opening and closing an umbrella near them.
+
{{endline}}
::* One word: Fiscal hawks.
+
{{endbranch}}
  
:::'''5th Pane: Airlift Act Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::Politician 1:
+
Wait. What's on this other partition?
:::* But is "Airlift" an acronym?
+
{{midbranch}}
:::* But you must agree that a bitd in the hand is worth more than three educators in the bush.
+
[Knit Cap Girl has ??? next to her head to signify confusion. Hairy walks in. Hairy is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing. Hairy has ??? next to his head. Hairy had stepped back while Knit Cap Girl is checking on Hairy's laptop computer. Knit Cap Girl is holding something rectangular.]<br>
:::* Incredible!
+
'''Hairy''':
:::* Wait... Is that like people who educate birds, or birds that teach?
+
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
Maybe if you cross connect the serial port to video port you'll be able to send the video directly in as an input for the password.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
[Knit Cap Girl and Hairy are at sea, both emitting ripples. A shark's fin can be seen close to Hairy.]<br>
 +
'''Hairy''':
 +
{{beginline}}
 +
{{beginbranch}}
 +
It worked fine for the shark
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::'''6th Pane: Airlift an Acronym'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::Hairy:
+
We're definitely getting closer though
::::* There are birds outside tied to a car.
+
{{midbranch}}
::::* The owls in our barn are forming a union.
+
{{endbranch}}
::::* Or course: Avian Implemented Reuseable Lifter and Ingenuous Flight Technology!
 
  
:::::'''7th Pane: Car Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
That didn't work!
:::::* Cool, let's see who we should vote for.
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::* I know who I'm voting for.
+
{{endbranch}}
:::::* How many birds?
 
  
:::::'''8th-9th Panes: How Many Branch''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:bb0ca5f6-b9fc-11e3-8016-002590d77bdd permalink])<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::Hairy:
+
It would have worked for Solaris.
:::::* I call her "Serenity."
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::* So when you said birds...
+
{{endbranch}}
:::::* Liquefied bird fuel is the way to the future.
 
:::::* Well, by “birds” and “car” I really meant a rocket.  There’s totally a rocket in your lawn, man.
 
  
:::::'''10th-13th Panes: You Said Birds Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::Knit Cap Guy:
+
Look, it made perfect sense at the time.
:::::* Wait. The birds are inside!?
+
{{midbranch}}
:::::* I needed to escape from politics anyway.
+
{{endbranch}}
:::::* All terms are relative.
 
  
::::::'''14th-19th Panes: Birds Inside Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::::White Hat: Want to forget your dreams? There's a pill for that!
+
Still simpler than it used to be, I guess.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
 +
{{endline}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
::::::'''14th-15th Panes: Escape Politics Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::::::* ‘…And let’s go live to the debate’.
+
What's a segfault?
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:::::::'''16th-26th Panes: Debate Branch''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:8c25769e-badf-11e3-8001-002590d77bdd permalink])<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::::::We observe your speed to be 38.5%c, and your time is passing at 92.3% the rate of ours.  Does this mirror your observations?
+
I think the cameras need to face each other.
 +
{{midbranch}}
 +
{{endbranch}}
  
:'''2nd-3rd Panes: BSD Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:[Knit Cap Guy is confused, staring at his laptop.]
+
I'm not sure spaghetti works as a USB cable...
:Knit Cap Guy: ??
+
{{midbranch}}
:Knit Cap Guy:
+
{{endbranch}}
:* Now I just need to look up what a "beard error" is...  
+
{{endline}}
:* Wait. What's on this other partition?
+
{{endbranch}}
:* Why is Python importing Skynet?
 
:* My keyboard has to support SSH over USB?
 
  
::'''4th-7th Panes: Beard Error Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::[Knit Cap Guy has ?? next to his head to signify confusion. [[Hairy]] walks in. (continue) Hairy is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing.  Hairy has ??? next to his head. Hairy had stepped back while the character is checking on Hairy's laptop computer. The character is holding something rectangular.]
+
Why is Python importing Skynet?
::Hairy:
+
{{midbranch}}
::* The USB cable appears to be mono-directional.
+
{{endbranch}}
::* Kernel mites?
 
::* I'm not sure rubbing butter on it will help
 
::* Yep. It's haunted.
 
  
:::'''8th-12th Panes: Rubbing Butter Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
:::[Hairy and Knit Cap Guy are handling their computers more aggressively.]
+
My keyboard has to support SSH over USB?
:::Knit Cap Guy: ARGH!
+
{{midbranch}}
:::[They both stop. Knit Cap Guy walks away, his chair turned 180 degrees. Pushing aside the chair, the character returns with a fiery blowtorch while wearing goggles.]
+
{{endbranch}}
:::Hairy: [holding up a finger] Um.
 
:::[Knit Cap Guy's computer was so burned, not only steam is coming out of the computer, but even the desk is noticeably burnt. The cable (apparently also burned) hangs from Hairy's laptop computer. The used blowtorch is clumsily laid sideways be the side of the desk. Both Knit Cap Guy (whose goggles are pushed off his eye) and Hairy are looking at the calamity. The chair is almost out of view. The goggles are on the floor while the chair is nowhere to be seen. Hairy and Knit Cap Guy are walking away from the scene.]
 
:::Hairy:
 
:::* Are you all of a sudden in the mood for Thai food?
 
:::* Let's try OpenBSD next time...
 
:::* If you'd done the other one, maybe the popcorn would have popped.
 
:::* Let's see if rubbing some bacon on it will work.
 
:::* Let's try Linux next time...
 
  
::::'''13th-14th Panes: OpenBSD Branch'''<br>
+
{{endline}}
::::[13th panel is of a panned view. Hairy and Knit Cap Guy are walking on a path away from a house.]
+
{{endbranch}}
::::[14th panel is back to a "normal camera view".]
 
::::Hairy:
 
::::* Okay then.
 
::::* Let's go exploring!
 
::::* I love Windows.
 
::::* Guess not.
 
  
::'''4th-7th Panes: Other Partition Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::[Knit Cap Guy has ??? next to his head to signify confusion. [[Hairy]] walks in. Hairy is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing. Hairy has ??? next to his head. Hairy had stepped back while Knit Cap Guy is checking on Hairy's laptop computer. Knit Cap Guy is holding something rectangular.]
+
Gravity. Lots of it.
::Hairy:
+
{{midbranch}}
::* Maybe if you cross connect the serial port to video port you'll be able to send the video directly in as an input for the password
+
{{endbranch}}
::* What's a segfault?
 
::* I think the cameras need to face each other.
 
::* I'm not sure spaghetti works as a USB cable...
 
  
::'''8th Pane: Video Password Branch'''<br>
+
{{beginbranch}}
::[Knit Cap Guy and Hairy are at sea, both emitting ripples. A shark's fin can be seen close to Hairy.]
+
Hurry! We're in talks with Facebook. ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:2b330d48-bb01-11e3-8003-002590d77bdd permalink])
::Hairy:
+
{{midbranch}}
::* It worked fine for the shark
+
{{endbranch}}
::* We're definitely getting closer though
 
::* That didn't work!
 
::* It would have worked for Solaris.
 
::* Look, it made perfect sense at the time.
 
::* Still simpler than it used to be, I guess.
 
  
:'''2nd Pane: Facebook Branch'''([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:2b330d48-bb01-11e3-8003-002590d77bdd permalink])<br>
+
{{endline}}
:Hairy:
 
:* Google's at the door. They want to buy your... Well I'd rather you heard it from them.
 
:* Come check out my neighbour's ball pit. It's full of balls.
 
:* Oh, didn't I tell you? I got their database password years ago
 
:* Do you think they'll care that the coffee machine doesn't work?
 

Revision as of 15:54, 5 April 2014

Ambox notice.png More panels/text have been appearing on the comic constantly since its debut, so expanding this transcript is expected to be a constant work in progress.
We still probably have many storylines missing. Feel free to add more if you find them!


Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.

This is the transcript of 1350: Lorenz. Here, we strive to capture as many storylines as possible, but this is expected to be a constant work in progress as new panels become available in the comic.

How to edit

How to add a collapsible branch:

{{beginbranch}}
(title text - click "show"!)
{{midbranch}}
(text to be hidden/shown)
{{endbranch}}

Template:beginbranch (title text - click "show"!) Template:midbranch (text to be hidden/shown) Template:endbranch

A vertical line signifies a tree of multiple available options.

'''Knit Cap Girl''':
{{beginline}}
A) Yes!<br>
B) No!<br>
C) Maybe!
{{endline}}

Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline A) Yes!
B) No!
C) Maybe! Template:endline

Hints and warnings:
This system is designed to be very easy to read, but when editing the code it may be hard to find the right panels amidst a sea of different storylines. Make extensive use of Ctrl+F and the Preview function. If you have a lot of text to add, save it somewhere else in case of edit conflicts. Occasionally the same line of text is found more than once in different places; make sure you are editing the right one.

Transcript

Knit Cap Girl:
[Typing on the laptop and thinking.]
(permalink)

Template:beginline

Template:beginbranch Refresh... No new email... Refresh... No new tweets... Refresh... (permalink) Template:midbranch

Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch So you're still refusing to use Facebook? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Wanna build a snowman? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Hey. I hear Godot is in town. Wanna try to meet him? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch You know. Your car's on fire. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game. (branch 1) (permalink) Template:midbranch [Hairy visits Knit Cap Girl.]
Hairy: Template:beginline

Template:beginbranch There's something weird out on the lawn. Template:midbranch

Hat Guy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch This is an apartment. We don't have a lawn. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Guy and Hairy leave the house. They pass by a moat.]

Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch OK, two weird things. Template:midbranch

Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch I count three. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Why is there a gap here? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Who tiled the moat? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I can see a creeper down there. Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Damn Griefers. Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Is this 1-1 from Mario? Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy pass by a tree.]
Hairy: Template:beginline

Template:beginbranch Why does that tree looks fake? Template:midbranch Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared!
Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Theft"!
Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: ...
Pikachu: Um... Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Actually, it's the final castle. Grab your Fire Flower! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch It's over this way. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I've never been this far before! Template:midbranch Hairy: Are you going insane again? Template:endbranch

Template:endline


Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch See? It's like a glitch in the Matrix. Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch How far can we go? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:beginbranch What the fuck?! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:beginbranch How... How do we get everything back? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch This isn't where I left that... Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline

Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I have a lawn? Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy leave the house. They pass by a moat.]
Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Hmmm, did you order a moat? Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch It helps keep bobcats out. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Of course. All cool kids have moats in their yards. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I don't have the best relationship with my mailman. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Yep. Delivered in two days, courtesy of Amazon Prime. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I don't remember this being here. Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch It has begun! That's one of the first holes in reality. Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch I've been working on a theory that 2048 is a tool for the old ones to open up portals to this reality. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch What about black holes? Those don't count? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch We must go deeper. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I wanted to jump over the massive sinkhole, but nooo, someone just had to find out what was down there. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Oh, I had the moving company install it last week. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch We poop in it. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Finally got you out of the damn house. Template:midbranch Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared!
Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"!
Narrator: ...
Pikachu: Um...
Pikachu: Well then.
Pikachu: I might have left surprises in that direction.
Template:endbranch

Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Look how deep it goes! Template:midbranch Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch I wonder if we can get someone to fall in? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I'm going in. You can come if you want to. I think I see stars down there. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch That was a missing opportunity. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I should come outside more often. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch It looks like I can see Moria from here. Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch You see Moria from everywhere, Hairy. Template:midbranch Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared!
Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"!
Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Google Maps didn't warn me of this. Template:midbranch Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Uplift!"
Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Cute Face!"
Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Faceless"!
Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: Where's Twitch when I need help?
Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Abandonment"!
Narrator: It's not very effective... Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Enemy Pikachu used "The Discrete Metric"! Template:midbranch Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Extrude"!
Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: ...
Pikachu: Um...
Pikachu: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Now I only have Struggle left. Tie? Template:midbranch Pikachu: No fair! Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch We are the knights who say Ni! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch What is even going on here? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Gathered the ink! Template:midbranch Narrator: It's not very effective...
Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Granite"!
Narrator: It's not very effective... Template:endbranch

Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Yeah, who did you think gave them a balrog? Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch One does not simple "give" a balrog. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch What? You weren't using it! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Gift-wrapping's the hardest part. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Moria is an anagram of Mario! Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy pass by a tree.]
Hairy: Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall. Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch Template:endline

Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I hope it's not a bobcat this time. Template:midbranch [A giant hole appears and they fall into it.]
Knit Cap Girl and Hairy: Aaaaa...
[Knit Cap Girl wakes up.]
Knit Cap Girl: Gasp [Goes to his desk.]
Knit Cap Girl: Yawn [Sits at his desk.]
Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Might as well clear more tiles. Template:midbranch [Hairy visits Knit Cap Girl again.]
Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Um, there's a hole in your lawn... Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch If it doesn't lead to a 1024 tile, I'm leaving. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Damn bobcats. Template:midbranch Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Well it was here... Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I don't think it was bobcats this time. Unless they have backshoes... Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I just had a dream about that. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside again and fall in the hole again~.]
Knit Cap Girl and Hairy: Aaaaa...
[Knit Cap Girl wakes up, leaves the bed and finds a boomerang.]
Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch It looks like is [sic] fell from space. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl throwns the boomerang away and it hits something.]
Crash!
[Knit Cap Girl runs away.] Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I hope this isn't just another one of those dreams that keeps coming back at you. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl throws the boomerang twice, only for it to return to him both times.]
Knit Cap Girl: Hm. I was expecting a shark.
[Knit Cap Girl throwns the boomerang again, and it returns to him again.] Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I hope this was not thrown by a bobcat. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl throws the boomerang, only for it to return to him .]
Knit Cap Girl: There's a mesage written on it.
[Knit Cap Girl throws the boomerang again. It hits something.]
Crash!
[Knit Cap Girl runs away.] Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch There's someone at the door looking for you. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I made an apple pie. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch If you want to do that, I'm rebuilding my bathroom this afternoon. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Definitely not going outside today. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Thank God it wasn't a bobcat. Template:midbranch Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch You just got a package. It's by the door. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Why is there a bobcat on your lawn? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch There's somewhere [sic] weird out on the lawn. Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch This seems familiar. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside.]
Knit Cap Girl: I hope it's not a velociraptor. Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Hold up. I need to get my wingsuit first. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I hope it's not a giant hole. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside. They pass by a tree.]
Hairy: How disappointed are you?
Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch I was expecting a bobcat. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Oh? That's the other tree. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Eh, not that much. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I have a bad feeling about this. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Hey do you know why there's a giant hole in the yard? Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside.]
Knit Cap Girl: I swear if it's a bobcat.
Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Why did you bring me here? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch This dream has been looping for years, and yet we never tire of it. Why is that? Template:midbranch [There is a gap in the ground. Knit Cap Girl jumps over it, Hairy looks into it.] Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Hmmm... I should buy a shovel. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl looks at his screen wondering.]
Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Wow! Shovels sure are expensive! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Shovels can't be actually made out of two sticks and a row of rocks? Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl is wondering more. Hairy comes. They connect their laptops. Hairy is wondering. Knit Cap Girl tries something at Hairy's laptop.] Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch How can there be 36 types of shovel??! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch These prices are insane! I wonder if you can rent a shovel... Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch If you reprogrammed the squirrel laser to target hipsters again... Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy go outside.]
Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Let's just say we won't have to worry about parking. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch No, now they're just wearing wigs ironically. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Things may have gotten out of control a little. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch At least it improved their haircuts. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch There's a dinosaur at the door. Template:midbranch T-Rex: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Self-doubt crippled my arms. Can I have yours? Template:midbranch T-Rex: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Never answer your mobile phone while I am addressing you! Template:midbranch [T-Rex is going to step on a house.]
T-Rex: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch I think you just entered a dead zone. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl is inside the house. She wakes up from a dream, goes outside and finds a boomerang.] Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Kids these days. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl is inside the house. She wakes up from a dream, and goes back to her computer.] Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Die you monster. Template:midbranch [Hairy is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream, and starts singing.]
Hairy: [Singing] I woke up like this. Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Also, have you heard about Tumblr? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Also I have some trenchant observations on language and philosophy to make. Template:midbranch [T-Rex is going to step on a house.]
T-Rex: Also, your brain is like this house.
[Knit Cap Girl is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream and goes back to his computer.] Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch It's not like you're using them. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I need a hand! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Did you think he was joking? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Sorry for just barging in, I couldn't reach the doorbell. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I heard Home Depot has 1024 bathroom tiles. Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch But how many bathrooms? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch That's 2^5 more than Ikea, I need to see for myself. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Let's go, I can keep playing on my phone on the drive. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Pfft. Amateurs. Let's go mock them. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I think I saw a "4096" tile outside somewhere. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

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Template:beginbranch These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game. (branch 2) (permalink) Template:midbranch [Hairy visits Knit Cap Girl.]
Hairy: Template:beginline

Template:beginbranch What's with those tiny games you keep playing, anyway? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Isn't that sort of meaningless? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Up for a dangerous experiment with no pay? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch You won't believe what just fell off of your roof. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on. Template:midbranch Laptop: "...and let's go live to the debate."
[Two politicians are debating on TV.]
Politician 1: Template:beginline

Template:beginbranch In contrast to my oppponent, who I quote, "Never liked Firefly much to begin with." Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch ...but even if you tied enough birds to the car, would you get them to take off in unison? Template:midbranch Politician 2: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Tie a predatory bird to the car with a somewhat shorter rope so that it will scare off the rest of the birds without being able to reach them. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Training. That's why I support the "Airlift Act", which would put more resources into the hands of bird educators everywhere. Template:midbranch Politician 1: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch But is "Airlift" an acronym? Template:midbranch Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch There are birds outside tied to a car. Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Cool, let's see who we should vote for. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I know who I'm voting for. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch How many birds? (permalink) Template:midbranch Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch I call her "Serenity." Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch So when you said birds... Template:midbranch Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Wait. The birds are inside!? Template:midbranch White Hat: Want to forget your dreams? There's a pill for that! Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Someone inside the rocket: I needed to escape from politics anyway. Template:midbranch Voice inside the rocket: "…And let’s go live to the debate". (permalink) Other spacecraft: We observe your speed to be 38.5%c, and your time is passing at 92.3% the rate of ours. Does this mirror your observations? Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch All terms are relative. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Liquefied bird fuel is the way to the future. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Well, by “birds” and “car” I really meant a rocket. There’s totally a rocket in your lawn, man. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch The owls in our barn are forming a union. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Or course: Avian Implemented Reuseable Lifter and Ingenuous Flight Technology! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch But you must agree that a bitd in the hand is worth more than three educators in the bush. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Incredible! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Wait... Is that like people who educate birds, or birds that teach? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch By opening and closing an umbrella near them. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch One word: Fiscal hawks. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch And if elected, I vow to win this war on Christmas once and for all! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I agree with my opponent all all [sic] issues and I think his economic plan is fantastic! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl is confused, staring at his laptop.]
Knit Cap Girl: ??
Knit Cap Girl: Template:beginline

Template:beginbranch Now I just need to look up what a "beard error" is... Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl has ?? next to her head to signify confusion. Hairy walks in. (continue) Hairy is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing. Hairy has ??? next to his head. Hairy had stepped back while the character is checking on Hairy's laptop computer. Knit Cap Girl is holding something rectangular.]
Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch The USB cable appears to be mono-directional. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Kernel mites? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I'm not sure rubbing butter on it will help Template:midbranch [Hairy and Knit Cap Girl are handling their computers more aggressively.]
Knit Cap Girl: ARGH! [They both stop. Knit Cap Girl walks away, her chair turned 180 degrees. Pushing aside the chair, she returns with a fiery blowtorch while wearing goggles.]
Hairy: [holding up a finger] Um.
[Knit Cap Girl's computer was so burned, not only steam is coming out of the computer, but even the desk is noticeably burnt. The cable (apparently also burned) hangs from Hairy's laptop computer. The used blowtorch is clumsily laid sideways be the side of the desk. Both Knit Cap Girl (whose goggles are pushed off his eye) and Hairy are looking at the calamity. The chair is almost out of view. The goggles are on the floor while the chair is nowhere to be seen. Hairy and Knit Cap Girl are walking away from the scene.]
Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Are you all of a sudden in the mood for Thai food? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Let's try OpenBSD next time... Template:midbranch [First panel is of a panned view. Hairy and Knit Cap Girl are walking on a path away from a house. Next panel is back to a "normal camera view".]
Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Okay then. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Let's go exploring! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I love Windows. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Guess not. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch If you'd done the other one, maybe the popcorn would have popped. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Let's see if rubbing some bacon on it will work. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Let's try Linux next time... Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Yep. It's haunted. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Wait. What's on this other partition? Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl has ??? next to her head to signify confusion. Hairy walks in. Hairy is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing. Hairy has ??? next to his head. Hairy had stepped back while Knit Cap Girl is checking on Hairy's laptop computer. Knit Cap Girl is holding something rectangular.]
Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch Maybe if you cross connect the serial port to video port you'll be able to send the video directly in as an input for the password. Template:midbranch [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy are at sea, both emitting ripples. A shark's fin can be seen close to Hairy.]
Hairy: Template:beginline Template:beginbranch It worked fine for the shark Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch We're definitely getting closer though Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch That didn't work! Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch It would have worked for Solaris. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Look, it made perfect sense at the time. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Still simpler than it used to be, I guess. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch What's a segfault? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I think the cameras need to face each other. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch I'm not sure spaghetti works as a USB cable... Template:midbranch Template:endbranch Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Why is Python importing Skynet? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch My keyboard has to support SSH over USB? Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:endline Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Gravity. Lots of it. Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

Template:beginbranch Hurry! We're in talks with Facebook. (permalink) Template:midbranch Template:endbranch

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