1506: xkcloud/Transcript

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Intro

Help! We lost the picture

[At the top of the page there are the following text:]
Help! We lost the picture that goes with this post!
Reason for data loss:
[Here on this same line follows a text which is a random reason taken from a list created by Randall. See examples below).]
[Below this text is a white box on top of the light blue background. It is the post mentioned above. At the top is a random user picture - could be a person or a picture of a galaxy etc (see descriptions below). Next to the picture is a random user name (see descriptions below). The same picture can be used for several user names (and probably likewise).]
[Below the user name is the text of the post. This text is also random and it must mainly be user input. Randall must have given some input to start with though - at least five sentences see Help! We lost the text section below).]
[Below is a blue rectangle where the missing picture should be. Instead there is only a white question mark:]
?
[Below this and above six picture frames in two rows is a line of text:]
Which of these pictures do you think went with this post?
[The five first pictures are from a random sample, created mainly by the users, but Randall must at least have made five to begin with). In the sixth and last picture frame the following text is written:]
Draw one your self
[By clicking on any of the five pictures you get to a new page with the chosen picture now substituting the "?" in the post above with the chosen picture. If you click the Draw one your self you will go to a page where you can do exactly this.]
[Below these six frames is a thin black line. Below this to the left we again see Cueball sitting at his desk (as on the front page).]
Desk: XKCD.COM
[Below him there are the following text and bulleted list:]
Our policy regarding
your personal data:
  • Please stop sending us
your personal data
  • We are running out of
places to put it
  • Is this even yours?
  • Does anyone recognize
whose data this is?
  • Oh jeez never mind here
comes more data
  • Why are you doing this
  • Please stop
  • Help
[To the right below the thin black line are three post above each other with user picture and name above a post text and and a picture. All three again random as mentioned above. Furthermore to the right above each picture (right of the first line - if there are multiple lines) of the post text are a blue like button that you can press. The buttons seems to be active links when you hover over them, but nothing happens when you click on them. The buttons have a thumbs up icon to the right. Next to the icon there is a random word taken from a list created by Randall. (It seems to be from a list of words that are synonymous with want - see below).]

Help! We lost the text

[At the top of the page there are the following text:]
Help! we lost the text that goes with this post!
[For cases where the user has to submit or select a text according to a picture]
Reason for data loss:
[Here on this same line follows a text which is a random reason taken from a list created by Randall. See examples below).]
[Below this text is a white box on top of the light blue background. It is the post mentioned above. At the top is a random user picture - could be a person or a galaxy etc (see descriptions below). Next to the picture is a random user name (see descriptions below). The picture can be used for several user names.]
[Below the user name is the picture from the post. This picture is also chosen at random from a set which must mainly be created from user input. Randall must have given some input to start with though - at least five pictures see Help! We lost the picture section above).]
[Below this and above five frames with text in two columns are this line of text:]
Which text post do you think went with this picture?
[The five texts below are from a random sample, created mainly by the users, but Randall must at least have made five to begin with.]
[Below this is a box where you are invited to write and submit a text suggestion. In the box written in gray letters (rather than black, which it will turn to when you type something) are the following text:]
Or, write your own
[To the left is a button with the text:]
Submit
[By clicking on any of the five text boxes you get to a new page with the chosen text now standing above the picture from the post above. If you write a text and click the submit button your own text will be written above the picture.]
[Below this submit text box is a thin black line. Below this to the left we again see Cueball sitting at his desk (as on the front page).]
Desk: XKCD.COM
[Below him there are the following text and bulleted list:]
Our policy regarding
your personal data:
  • Please stop sending us
your personal data
  • We are running out of
places to put it
  • Is this even yours?
  • Does anyone recognize
whose data this is?
  • Oh jeez never mind here
comes more data
  • Why are you doing this
  • Please stop
  • Help
[To the right below the thin black line are three post above each other with user picture and name above a post text and and a picture. All three again random as mentioned above. Furthermore to the right above each picture (right of the first line - if there are multiple lines) of the post text are a blue like button that you can press. The buttons seems to be active links when you hover over them, but nothing happens when you click on them. The buttons have a thumbs up icon to the right. Next to the icon there is a random word taken from a list created by Randall. (It seems to be from a list of words that are synonymous with want - see below).]

Reason for data loss

Sentence Explanation
<%= reason %> A template used by server-side frameworks such as Rails, which would normally replace this line with the actual value of the "reason" variable.
+++ OUT OF CHEESE ERROR. REDO FROM START +++ A reference to Hex, the magical computer from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, which would occasionally emit this error
AOL window in front of Netscape window
Baby ur much 2 fast
butter overflow butter instead of buffer
butter to text interface not found A reference to speech-to-text interfaces, typically used by people who cannot see easily to enable them to use a computer.
CAPTCHA response indicated parahuman intelligence A CAPTCHA is a tool which aims to prevent comupter-generated submissions to an online form by asking the user a question which is easy for humans but (supposedly) hard for computers. In this case, the CAPTCHA detects parahuman intelligence rather than human intelligence.
CRM-114 unit malfunctioning The CRM-114 unit's malfunction is the main plot device in the film Dr Strangelove
confirmation BIOS
could not initialize sound blaster 16 The Sound Blaster 16 is a PC sound card which used FM synthesis to play MIDI files, which was popular in the 1990s.
data too big
Desystematized chronodynamic balancing detected in VX Module core.
cumulonimbus #19 too rabbitlike A cumulonimbus is a type of cloud. This may be a pun. The error suggests that the cloud looked too much like a rabbit.
dictionary too stiff to read
electrons too big, stuck in wafer
ERR:INVALID DIM If there's an invalid DIM ram inserted it's unlikely this error message could be shown since the pc won't start.
error reading drive B. Abort, Retry, Fail? A common error from MS-DOS, often caused by a failing floppy disk
ethics in journalism Possibly a reference to the right-wing Gamergate movement, who defended their harassment and dox actions as "ethics in video game journalism".
eyelash! eyelash!
files overwritten with more interesting content
floating point unit no longer afloat A floating point unit is a part of a CPU which can perform calculations on non-integers. The pun is that the floating point unit is not floating (as in on a liquid). Possibly a reference to the Jargon File's Crunchly comic.
friday squid blogging Security guru Bruce Schneier regularly posts a blog post with this title, and some squid related news, primarily as a discussion thread
guru meditation #00000025.65045338 press left mouse button to continue A common error from the Commodore Amiga
GSM filter change required
hard drive oil depleted
helvetica scenario A reference to the episode on Calcium from the BBC TV show Look Around You.
HTTP 403 and 3/4ths HTTP errors are emitted when an HTTP request (e.g. to download a web page) fails. 403 is Forbidden and 404 is Not Found; 403.75 is somewhere between the two.
http is down
hung up prematurely
illegal carrot detected in mail queue carrot instead of caret
insufficient smoke for current mirror array
lp0 on fire lp0 is the printer port, there used to be a 'printer on fire' error/warning
Main Bus B Undervolt A line from Apollo 13, when the spaceship is 'having a problem'.
mean connection time exceeded
microwave running Both microwaves and Wifi operate on the frequency and have been known to cause interference
nanobots in the water
oh jeez there's a lot of you can you all just hang on for a second please oh frig this is so bad
out of electrons
out of monads Monads are a concept in functional programming languages, such as Haskell.
overcurrent undervolt caused by vacuum cleaner on same circuit
PC LOAD LETTER Error message on older printers stating to add extra letter-size sheets, which has become known to be a very cryptic error message.
Please Insert Riven CD 4 Riven is a graphical adventure game by Cyan Worlds which was distributed on CD.
qubit indeterminate
RDBMS completely forgot how inner joins work
server aperture too narrow for capital letters
server fell in ocean
server power cable stolen by raccoon for nest
server room haunted Maybe a reference to an UVB-76 broadcast in 2001, which said "I am 143. Not receiving the generator." and "That stuff comes from hardware room." in Russian
Something went wrong: Something went wrong (Something went wrong) similar to certain OS error messages which contain errors in themselves
spin number must be of the form n/2
spontaneous splinal dereticulation
SQL ejection ejection instead of injection
sysadmin trapped in well
temporal paradox
the butter you have dialed is invalid or no longer in service butter instead of number
the server is temporarily permanent. Please try another also.
This copy of Ubuntu is not genuine and you have not yet resolved this issue. Ubuntu is open source and does not require a license, so this kind of message would never happen.
This page contains content from the Open Source Initiative, who have blocked it on copyright grounds. Nor would this.
TRIED TO READ 9TH SIDE OF 8 TRACK
undefined is not a function, which really makes you think
unexpected timezone drift desynchronization
unimplemented trap
User accepted terms but not conditions Normally, at a EULA you must accept 'terms and conditions'. There is basically no option to only agree to terms.
User is not a typewriter.
user put spaces/vowels in filename
UTF-31 decode error UTF-31 instead of UTF-32
virtual memory got too real Virtual memory is where the OS writes less-used parts of RAM to disk, so that the RAM can be used for another program, hence the less-used parts are in virtual memory.
wrong files
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS A line frequently announced by the Protoss advisor in Starcraft.

User names

[Below are possible (not all?) user names mentioned next to any post as for instance on the Help! We lost the picture page.]
[In alphabetical order:]
  • @meganamram
  • Agric Silverfinger
  • Aidan2
  • Aiden5
  • Aidenn Aberforth Milne
  • Agric Silverfinger
  • Amanda08
  • Arthur19
  • Ashley8
  • Ashley92
  • Bailey2001
  • Barbara1974
  • Caden14
  • Caden2010
  • Carol04
  • Chad80
  • Charles18
  • Cheyenne1988
  • Curic Copperfinger
  • Dakota94
  • David St. Hubbins
  • Debbie26
  • Debbie3
  • Debbie62
  • Debian Bush
  • Destiny1983
  • Dillon2008
  • DragonBall Cooper
  • Dunston Chexin
  • Egbert Bentley White
  • Eliezer Yudkowsky
  • Elon Musk
  • Facebook Scott Fitzgerald
  • Frances29
  • Frances51
  • Frances99
  • Gary1951
  • Gary86
  • George Reagan Renesmee Martin
  • Green Mario
  • Greg2004
  • Hatsy Collins
  • Henry4
  • J. Alfred Leftshark
  • Jack3
  • Jack39
  • Jacob10
  • Jada5
  • Jaden Riley Rufio Tolkien
  • Jaina Khloe Rowling
  • Jalen81
  • Jeph Jacques
  • Joe Biden
  • John2
  • Justin87
  • Kaitlin1976
  • Kathleen78
  • Keira48
  • Kelsey1970
  • Kelsey1996
  • Kenneth96
  • Khloe14
  • Kristy2007
  • Larry Ronald Hubbard
  • Linda08
  • Lisa1995
  • Lord Gaga
  • Lord Mondegreen
  • Margaret11
  • Margaret5
  • Marie3
  • Mark Zuckerberg
  • Mark92
  • Martin Van Halen
  • Minecraft Holmes
  • Misty3
  • Myspace Tom
  • Norton Ghost Dad
  • Paul1957
  • Professor Monoculatus McToff
  • Raymond6
  • Ronald22
  • S. G. Dukat
  • Samuel19
  • Sarah55
  • Sierra10
  • Shaun46
  • Sheena2005
  • Sherri97
  • Stacy07
  • Steven02
  • Steven50
  • Susan25
  • Tim21
  • Tina Belcher
  • Todd33
  • Tonya22
  • Tracy1977
  • Tricia14
  • Trinity1989
  • Virginia2006
  • Wil
  • Wric Tungstenfinger

User pictures

[Below are descriptions of possible (not all?) user pictures shown next to any user name as for instance on the Help! We lost the picture page.]
  • [Hairy complete stick figure]
  • [Chipmunk]
  • [Close up of male face with black hair on a gray background]
  • [Galaxy]
  • [Chipmunk head]
  • [e^iπ ≈ 0]
  • [Tree crossing the street]

Like buttons

xkcloud has "Like" buttons next to each post (next to the post text above the picture), similar to those on Facebook, but with random alternative text. Examples include:
  • Covet
  • Crave
  • Like-like
  • Hanker
  • Thirst
  • Yearn