1902: State Borders
(→Explanation: important detail)
|Line 80:||Line 80:|
Revision as of 05:21, 14 October 2017
Title text: A schism between the pro-panhandle and anti-panhandle factions eventually led to war, but both sides spent too much time working on their flag designs to actually do much fighting.
| This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Add a table of all the proposed changes. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.|
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.
In this comic, graphic designers take control of the United States, but the only thing they do is to change the state and national borders, as well as to some extent the coast line, using primarily aesthetic criteria.
Despite the caption's rather blasé reaction to the graphic designers' master plan, the changes they propose could be rather tumultuous. Many U.S. residents will be made to live in new states, and thus be required to pay different taxes and obey different state laws, and even root for different sports teams. Some particularly unlucky U.S. citizens living in Arizona, New Mexico, Alaska, and Minnesota could be required to file for citizenship in Mexico or Canada if they wish to continue living in their current homes. And given that the comic implies that the Trump administration has been ousted by the graphic designer regime, there would probably be no upside to the ensuing international bureaucratic nightmare.
|Give to Canada||Minnesota has a small northern exclave (the Northwest Angle) which is accessible from the rest of the US only via the Lake of the Woods or by travelling through Canada. The new borders suggest giving this territory to Canada to simplify the state and national border.|
|This should be Wisconsin||Michigan is divided into two parts by Lake Michigan. The graphic designers suggest eliminating a boundary line by assigning the upper peninsula of Michigan to Wisconsin.|
|Move Long Island to NJ or CT, or make it its own state||Connecticut and New Jersey are very close to each other but don't actually border, separated only a few miles by New York State. Long Island is part of New York State, which visibly juts out into the Atlantic (extending so far to the east that it gives New York a maritime border with Rhode Island) and apparently drives graphic designers crazy who see an association with New Jersey or Connecticut or even becoming its own state more logical than being a part of New York State. This would have some issues, not least of which is that Long Island contains two of New York City's five boroughs (Brooklyn and Queens) and more than half the city's population.|
|Align to Grid||Most of the Western states are variations on "Let's have a large box", but there's something a bit irregular about them. Never fear, the Design Team has fixed!|
|Clean Up (Maryland/Pennsylvania/Virginia/West Virginia)||Maryland's western panhandle and both of West Virginia's to the east and north would be smoothed out to have nice, straight, shorter lines.|
|Enlarge Rhode Island & Delaware||Rhode Island and Delaware, the two smallest U.S. states by area, are often difficult to make out on a map of the United States. Expanding Delaware to occupy the entire Delmarva peninsula eliminates some boundary lines the designers apparently consider excessively fiddly; expanding Rhode Island eastward would reduce the number of land borders it has to two (one to its west with Connecticut and one to its north with Massachusetts) and make it easier to see on a map.|
|If we're going to have a panhandle, why not commit to it?||Oklahoma has a "panhandle" to its west, which is a kind of Salient. The obvious fix would be to give it to Texas. In a twist, the graphic designers suggest extending it even further, across the northern parts of Arizona and New Mexico.|
|Fix this thing||The border of Missouri cuts into Arkansas, in the so-called Missouri Bootheel. The Design Team has awarded that piece to Arkansas, straightening the border.|
|Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of Kentucky/Virginia||Virginia's western border is shifted east to align it with the borders to the north and south, forming a continuous line along the Appalachians.|
|Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of Nevada/Arizona||Continue the line of Utah's western border and Arizona's far northwestern border south (replacing part of the Colorado River boundary), transferring part of Arizona's Mohave county to Nevada.|
|Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of Texas/Oklahoma/Arkansas/Louisiana||Square off Southwest Arkansas, and move Lousiana's northwest border to meet up, presumably because square corners are better.|
|Clean up (Arizona/New Mexico/Texas)||One of New Mexico's borders should be extended into a single line. This results in ceding some land to Mexico, having El Paso split across New Mexico and Texas, and Highway 62 alternating between two states.|
|Straighten to fix survey errors (Tennessee)||Tenneesse's southern border is supposed to be the 35th parallel north, but due to surveying errors made in the 19th Century the marked border is one mile south of that line. At many times since, Georgia has sought to fix this by various means (at least partly because doing so would net them some rights to the water from the Tennessee River) including bringing its case to the US Supreme Court - with the Design Team in charge, they wouldn't need those lawyers any more. Farther westward, Tennessee's actual southern border suddenly juts south at the Tennessee River between Alabama and Mississippi - again, the Design Team would rather see it smoothed out. Tenneesse's northern border with Kentucky has similar hitches that prevent it from being a straight line that the Design Team wants to address.|
|Good Curve! Keep (Florida/Georgia/South Carolina)||The only thing the design team likes already about the shape of the US is the shape of the Atlantic coast in northern Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina, as it seems to bend into the US smoothly. Given the curve is the border between land and water, it's good they like it as changing it would be very difficult and expensive.|
|Let's be honest, this should be Canada too||Southeast Alaska should be given to Canada, presumably because it more neatly fits with British Columbia. This is slightly problematic, as the state capital, Juneau, is within this section.|
|Why should Florida get Alabama's coastline? It has plenty.||
The Florida Panhandle borders southern Alabama denying the state all but a sliver of coastline. Given that Florida already has an abundance of coast, the Graphic Designers consider the present arrangement unfair. Ceding the Florida counties west of the Apalachicola River have actually been raised since the 19th century. This change would have the additional benfit of more neatly aligning Florida's western border with that of neighboring Georgia.
In the title text, the graphic designers have a civil war between the ones that favor "panhandles" in the borders, such as the Oklahoma one which is enlarged in the map, the Florida one which is removed in the map, and maybe others such as the Texas region known as the "Texas panhandle". However, as graphic designers, they get too caught up in making the flag designs for their faction to actually fight. Randall has shown interest for vexillology (the study of flags) in the past.
|This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.|
- [An outline map of the United States is shown, including state boundaries. The following edit marks are shown in red text:]
- [Minnesota's Northwest Angle is circled] Give to Canada
- [Border between Wisconsin and Michigan's Upper Peninsula is crossed out] This should be Wisconsin
- [New York's Long Island is circled, with arrows and question marks pointing to New Jersey and Connecticut] Move Long Island to NJ or CT or make it its own state
- [New York's eastern border has been straightened]
- [Wyoming's western border is moved to align with that of Colorado. The Montana/Idaho and Idaho/Utah borders are extended to reach the new border. Similarly, Colorado's eastern border is moved to align with that of Wyoming, and the Nebraska/Kansas border has been extended] Align to grid
- [West Virginia's northern panhandle has been given to Ohio and part of its eastern panhandle has been given to Maryland. In return, Western Maryland has been given to West Virginia. The altogether effect is that West Virginia and Maryland have more compact shapes] Clean Up
- [Rhode Island has been enlarged to encompass southeastern Massachusetts, and Delaware now takes up the entire Delmarva Peninsula] Enlarge Rhode Island & Delaware
- [The Oklahoma Panhandle has been extended west until it reaches Nevada, taking the northernmost parts of Arizona and New Mexico with it] If we're going to have a panhandle, why not commit to it?
- [The Missouri Bootheel has been given to Arkansas] Fix this thing
- [The part of Virginia west of the Appalachian Mountains has been given to Kentucky]
- [The southwestern and eastern borders of Nevada have been extended into Arizona until they meet a point. A part of California is slightly extended to reach the revised border]
- [Parts of Arizona and New Mexico have been ceded to Mexico, and part of Texas has been given to New Mexico, so that the southern borders of Arizona and New Mexico and the northern border of the Trans-Pecos area of Texas collectively form a straight line] Clean Up
- [Parts of northeastern Texas have been given to Arkansas and Louisiana]
- [The northern and southern borders of Tennessee have been straightened] Straighten to fix survey errors
- [A line has been traced along the coasts of South Carolina, Georgia, and northern Florida] Good curve! Keep.
- [Alaska's southeastern panhandle has been circled] Let's be honest - this should be Canada, too.
- [The Alabama/Florida border has been erased, and Alabama's eastern border has been extended south until it meets the Gulf of Mexico] Why should Florida get Alabama's coastline? It has plenty.
- [Caption below the panel:]
- It was scary when graphic designers seized control of the country, but it turned out they just wanted to fix some things about the state borders that had always bothered them.
add a comment! ⋅ add a topic (use sparingly)! ⋅ refresh comments!