241: Battle Room

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Battle Room
Bean actually sabotaged it just to give Dink the excuse to make that joke.
Title text: Bean actually sabotaged it just to give Dink the excuse to make that joke.


The book Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card is about Ender Wiggin, a boy of above-average-intelligence which means he is recruited to be trained to be one of the commander's of Earth's "Defense" Fleet should the Buggers invade again (future books renamed the Buggers to the Formics, to be more politically correct, and also the British consider Bugger to be a swear word). Ender is taken to a space school called Battle School. At the center of Battle School is the Battle Room, that all the training revolves (literally and figuratively) around.

The Battle room is described as a hollow perfect cube. "Stars" (smaller cubes) can be pulled from the walls (without changing the shape, more stars come in to fill the space where the old one was) and can be used as obstacles in the Battle Room as they will remain absolutely stationary, no matter what force is exerted on them. There is no gravity in the Battle Room. Most squads entering the Battle Room keep their orientation from the hallway (gravity in the hallway dictates where "down" is in the Room). Ender realizes that because the room is a perfect cube, and that even the entrances, called "gates", are perfect squares and do not give any hint about which direction is up or down, that keeping that orientation is useless. He instructs his squad to orient so that the enemy's gate is down, thus presenting a smaller target.

The joke here, however, is that the enemy's gate is "down", as in broken.

Bean and Dink are both kids in Ender's platoon, and eventually become two of his lieutenants in the end of the book.


[A scene is depicted from the Battle Room of the novel Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. The men are floating in a room with random cubes.]
Dink: Sorry, Ender — seems like there were some system crashes. The battle's gotta be cut short.
Ender: The lasers still work.
Dink: Yeah, but the enemy's gate is down.

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Should there be some sort of spoiler tag at the top of this explanation? NixillUmbreon (talk) 08:20, 4 February 2014 (UTC)

That's not really a spoiler (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

^ you learn those things in the first few chapters. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

"I think Card would be unpleased with Bean's antics." 20:25, 19 December 2016 (UTC) Ender's Game: The Movie That Shows How Being Politically Correct Can Screw a Movie Up

Also, it's revealed in the Bean books that Bean had actually already hacked into the school's computer system, so it makes sense that he's the one that sabotaged the gate