405: Journal 3

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Journal 3
Oh, and, uh, if the Russian government asks, that submarine was always there.
Title text: Oh, and, uh, if the Russian government asks, that submarine was always there.


In Journal 1, Black Hat explains to Cueball that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance.

In Journal 2, however, the brunette (we'll call her Danish) sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process. Initially stunned, he has at last regained his hat, the trademark of his personality and attitude, leaving him with the upper hand.

The whole "Journal" story arc


[Two women ice-skating outside]
Ponytail: Wait up!
Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat): Skate faster!
[Danish sees cracking ice]
<<Crack>> <<Crack>>
[Danish on chunk of ice broken off]
<<Crack>> <<Rumble>>
[Submarine dorsal fin emerging]
[Black Hat (minus hat) coming out of hatch]
Black Hat: Hi.
Black Hat: That's my hat you're wearing.
Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat): So, you found me after all.
Black Hat (out of frame): You didn't make it easy.
Black Hat: You saw through me, all right. But not quite well enough.
Black Hat: Because if you wanted to stay lost forever, you made one mistake
[Black Hat climbing out of hatch]
[Black Hat sliding down a sheet of ice]
[Black Hat snatches hat from Danish's head as he slides by on the ice]
[Black Hat skidding to a stop and putting hat back on his head]
Black Hat: You took my hat.
Black Hat: I LIKE my hat.
[Black Hat walking away]
[Danish left standing]

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In this comic, the Black Hat guy retrieves his hat from the girl he tried (unsuccessfully) to seduce in Journal 2. He does this by stealing a Russian submarine (according to the alt-text) and breaking through the ice the girl and her friend are skating on. This is the third and middle part of the Journal story arc. ‎ (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Just a correction, Black Hat was not trying to seduce her. This is quite obvious from the dialogue in Journal 1, and I have no idea where you would possibly get the idea that Black Hat's original intention was anything close to seduction. He was trying to hurt her feelings, and leave her feeling alienated and upset. -Pennpenn 02:42, 7 December 2015 (UTC)

I might be mistaken, but I believe that the last title text is a reference to The Hunt of Red October, and specifically the line "And I - was never here" (which is famous enough to have have named a trope). 22:30, 18 February 2014 (UTC)

I think comic 496 refers to this one. 13:11, 27 May 2014 (UTC)

The sub through the ice, i think, is "Ice Station Zebra," on WMATA's silver line. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Should remove spoilers of future comics such as references to 432 and 496. The references made her can be covered in those as one would expect most readers to follow the comics chronologically. Refer to 374 for a better way to reference a future comic. flewk (talk) 07:08, 28 December 2015 (UTC)

Could black hat have had a GPS tracker in his hat? 19:17, 24 March 2016 (UTC)

Could any of this be a reference to 'I Want My Hat Back', an excellent children's picture book by Jon Klassen. The ending text is extremely similar 'You stole my hat. I love my hat.' vs 'You took my hat. I like my hat.' 15:58, 14 November 2017 (UTC)