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Upcoming Hurricanes

Title text: I'd like to see more damage assessments for hurricanes hitting New York and flooding Manhattan -- something like the 1938 Long Island Express, but aimed a bit more to the west. It's just a matter of time.

Explanation

It must be hurricane season! This comic gives some ideas on upcoming hurricane paths. Lets look at each path.

Hurricane Illinois-Has-It-Too-Easy: They really do. This smart hurricane, while actually impossible, comes from Canada to strike little old Chicago before heading back to Canada.

Hurricane Where-The-Hell-Is-Bermuda: Nice little irony here, normally people get lost once they get to the triangle and never come back. This poor hurricane can't even get there to get lost.

Hurricane Screw-It-Let's-Just-Trash-Florida-Again: Why you would want to live in Florida during hurricane season is beyond me. Sticking out from the rest of the US, Florida is in a nice spot to get hurricanes from the East, South, and West. And with the state not being very high or wide, it is common for a hurricane to run over Florida, lose some strength, then rebuild in the Gulf of Mexico, only to do a U-turn and strike again.

Hurricane Freud: You just need to know that Sigmund Freud had a thing about sex, and let's just leave it at that.

Hurricane Red and Blue: Playing a game of Light Cycles from Tron, Hurricane Blue lost -- it crashed into the lightwall of Hurricane Red.

Hurricane Cos(x): Just following the simple math function, Hurricane Cos(x) just oscillates between 1°N and 1°S. This, while cool, is impossible as near the equator the Coriolis effect is way too weak to cause rotation. In fact, there has never been a hurricane within 5° of the equator due to the Coriolis force being too weak, and the Coriolis force is what causes the hurricane to rotate.

The title text refers to a 1938 Category 5 Hurricane that caused $41.1 billion in damage in current money. Had it been further west it could have caused more damage as the right side of a hurricane is stronger and more destructive than the left side as the winds on the right side push water inland.

Transcript

[An unlabeled map shows the region roughly between central Canada and northern Brazil. Dotted lines indicating hurricane paths cover the map, all red except where noted.

Hurricane Illinois-Has-It-Too-Easy comes from somewhere to the northwest, goes through Illinois, and then back to the northwest.

Hurricane Where-the-Hell-Is-Bermuda enters from the east side of the map, wanders around the Atlantic in a scribble, goes north for a while, and then peters out.

Hurricane Screw-It-Let's-Just-Trash-Florida-Again comes from the east, starts to curve to the north, and then turns sharply to head straight for Florida and zigzag through it.

Hurricane Freud starts in the Gulf of Mexico, draws a set of balls to Florida's cock, and then comes on land and stops.

Hurricane Red and Hurricane Blue (which is a blue line) are playing a game of Tron, zipping in straight lines and right angles around Haiti, Jamaica, and Cuba. Red successfully cuts off Blue and then dies shortly thereafter.

Hurricane cos(x) forms a graph of cos(x) along the bottom edge of the map.]

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