Difference between revisions of "496: Secretary: Part 3"

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(Undo revision 55403 by 141.101.79.25 (talk) This contradicts "You stole a submarine?")
(Explanation: Sorry, but you can't compare the Holocaust with 9/11.)
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==Explanation==
 
==Explanation==
When a person has been appointed to a position by the {{w|POTUS|President}}, they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the {{w|United States Senate|Senate}}, the upper house of {{w|United States Congress|Congress}} where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, [[Black Hat]] is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his {{w|résumé}}.
+
When a person has been appointed to one of certain positions by the {{w|POTUS|President}}, they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the {{w|United States Senate|Senate}}, the upper house of {{w|United States Congress|Congress}} where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, [[Black Hat]] is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his {{w|résumé}}.
  
 
*{{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain.
 
*{{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain.
**He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]] Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle; but, it is quite dramatic.
+
**He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]], Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle; but, it is quite dramatic.
 +
**Taking all the parts from different cars to build in a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the {{w|Ship of Theseus}} in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
 
*{{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}} who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}} who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}.
 
*{{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}} who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}} who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}.
 
**The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances.
 
**The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances.
*{{w|9/11 Truth movement|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center}} towers on September 11, 2001 (thus 9/11) was a conspiracy theory purported by the US Government as a cover up. In the comic, Black Hat appears to be mixing 9/11 truthers with {{w|Moon landing conspiracy theories|Moon landing conspiracy theorists}} who believe that {{w|NASA}} never put a {{w|Apollo program|man on the moon}}.
+
*{{w|9/11 Truth movement|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center}} towers on September 11, 2001 (thus 9/11) was not actually organized by terrorists, but by the United States government. Black Hat apparently claims to subscribe to a comedically exaggerated version of this conspiracy theory in which the attacks did not happen ''at all'' and the World Trade Center is presumably still standing. Such a conspiracy is extremely implausible, as it would require either the involvement of every single person to ever set foot in one of the world's largest cities, or some way to conceal a pair of hundred story tall buildings.
 
**Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]].
 
**Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]].
 
*{{w|RadioShack}} is a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with: resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores have been in steady decline over the years, largely propped up by momentum.  
 
*{{w|RadioShack}} is a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with: resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores have been in steady decline over the years, largely propped up by momentum.  
*{{w|Microsoft}} is the company that makes {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}, and {{w|Steve Ballmer}} is its {{w|Chief executive officer|CEO}}. {{w|Windows Vista}} was an {{w|operating system}} released in 2007; it was widely panned by software critics.
+
*{{w|Microsoft}} is the company that makes {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}, and {{w|Steve Ballmer}} was its {{w|Chief executive officer|CEO}} until being replaced in 2014 by {{w|Satya Nadella}}. {{w|Windows Vista}} is an {{w|operating system}} released in 2007; it was widely panned by software critics. It is unclear how feeding a squirrel through a fax machine could possibly contribute to winning an argument about it.
 
*{{w|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}} is the second female justice on the {{w|Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court}}, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). {{w|John Roberts}}, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
 
*{{w|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}} is the second female justice on the {{w|Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court}}, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). {{w|John Roberts}}, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
 
*Black Hat stole a nuclear submarine in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]].
 
*Black Hat stole a nuclear submarine in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]].
*"Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the {{w|Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment}} of the {{w|United States Bill of Rights}}. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution|third amendment}} states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will. Either Black Hat Guy doesn't understand the 3rd Amendment, or (more likely) he believes the nuclear submarine to be his property, and rather than stealing it he was simply expelling U.S. military soldiers who were "quartered" in his nuclear sub without his permission.
+
*"Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the {{w|Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment}} of the {{w|United States Bill of Rights}}. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution|third amendment}} states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will in peacetime. Either Black Hat
 +
**Doesn't understand the 3rd Amendment,
 +
**Just chooses this amendment over the 5th to confuse the committee which seems to forget the question,
 +
**Believes the nuclear submarine to be his property, and rather than stealing it he was simply expelling military personnel who were "quartered" in his nuclear sub without his permission,
 +
**Stole the submarine in order to have a convenient place other than his house to quarter troops
 +
 
 +
The final panels show Ron Paul's blimp finally approaching Washington DC. The balloon spotted on their radar is presumably piloted by blogger {{w|Cory Doctorow}}, as revealed in the next installment, Secretary: Part 4.
  
 
All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series:
 
All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series:
 
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
 
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
 
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
 
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
+
*496: Secretary: Part 3 (this one)
 
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
 
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
 
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]
 
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]
  
 
This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.
 
This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.
 +
 +
It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.
  
 
==Transcript==
 
==Transcript==
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{{comic discussion}}
 
{{comic discussion}}
 +
 +
[[Category:Secretary|03]]
 +
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
 +
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
 +
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
 
[[Category:Sheeple]]
 
[[Category:Sheeple]]
[[Category:Secretary|03]]
 

Revision as of 18:59, 22 June 2017

Secretary: Part 3
He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces.  It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle.
Title text: He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle.

Explanation

When a person has been appointed to one of certain positions by the President, they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the Senate, the upper house of Congress where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, Black Hat is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his résumé.

  • Starbucks is an American coffee shop chain.
    • He hasn't yet, but in 562: Parking, Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle; but, it is quite dramatic.
    • Taking all the parts from different cars to build in a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the Ship of Theseus in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
  • Charles M. Schulz drew a comic called Peanuts. One of the recurring characters was Snoopy who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary Sopwith Camel in many battles with The Red Baron who piloted a Red Fokker Triplane.
  • 9/11 Truthers believe that the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center towers on September 11, 2001 (thus 9/11) was not actually organized by terrorists, but by the United States government. Black Hat apparently claims to subscribe to a comedically exaggerated version of this conspiracy theory in which the attacks did not happen at all and the World Trade Center is presumably still standing. Such a conspiracy is extremely implausible, as it would require either the involvement of every single person to ever set foot in one of the world's largest cities, or some way to conceal a pair of hundred story tall buildings.
  • RadioShack is a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with: resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores have been in steady decline over the years, largely propped up by momentum.
  • Microsoft is the company that makes Windows, and Steve Ballmer was its CEO until being replaced in 2014 by Satya Nadella. Windows Vista is an operating system released in 2007; it was widely panned by software critics. It is unclear how feeding a squirrel through a fax machine could possibly contribute to winning an argument about it.
  • Ruth Bader Ginsburg is the second female justice on the Supreme Court, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). John Roberts, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
  • Black Hat stole a nuclear submarine in xkcd 405: Journal 3 to get his hat back from Danish.
  • "Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the Fifth Amendment of the United States Bill of Rights. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The third amendment states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will in peacetime. Either Black Hat
    • Doesn't understand the 3rd Amendment,
    • Just chooses this amendment over the 5th to confuse the committee which seems to forget the question,
    • Believes the nuclear submarine to be his property, and rather than stealing it he was simply expelling military personnel who were "quartered" in his nuclear sub without his permission,
    • Stole the submarine in order to have a convenient place other than his house to quarter troops

The final panels show Ron Paul's blimp finally approaching Washington DC. The balloon spotted on their radar is presumably piloted by blogger Cory Doctorow, as revealed in the next installment, Secretary: Part 4.

All comics in the Secretary series:

This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of 493: Actuarial, in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

Transcript

[The confirmation hearings begin.]
Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.
Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?
Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces.
Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?
Black Hat: Got three mimes, too.
Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?
Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!
Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.
Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista.
Which I won, by the way.
[Senators look down at their notes.]
Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine?
Black Hat: I plead the third.
Senator: You mean the fifth?
Black Hat: No, the third.
Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?
Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.
Meanwhile...
[Aboard Ron Paul's blimp.]
Ponytail: We're nearing Washington, sir.
Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.
Ponytail: It's a balloon.
Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.


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Discussion

Could "Pleading the 3rd" be a form of the Chewbacca defense? --B. P. (talk) 22:55, 5 September 2012 (UTC)

I did some research on Ruth Bader Ginsburg and her confirmation hearing, but couldn't quite see why she has a criminal record similar to Black Hat's - can anybody help there? Bobidou23 (talk) 20:03, 31 December 2012 (UTC)

It's supposed to be a joke. Ruth Bader Ginsburg definitely wasn't a criminalNoonespecial (talk) 22:33, 14 November 2021 (UTC)

Maybe because people assume that if you are rectinent,you are probably hiding something?117.194.203.236 15:47, 9 February 2013 (UTC)

Black hat is right. RadioShack never gets many visitors to the electronics parts aisles. Xyz (talk) 12:54, 3 June 2013 (UTC)

Why would US submariners been on the sub he stole? I got the impression it was a Russian submarine. 108.162.219.223 22:21, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

Or it was a US sub and he "parked" it in Russian territory, something the Russion goverment wouldn't be fond of either. But yeah I thought it was a Russian sub as well. Tharkon (talk) 15:50, 29 January 2014 (UTC)

Is the auto-troll shuffle a reference to something? Seanybabes (talk) 02:57, 10 March 2014 (UTC)

I got the impression that it was in reference to the "Kansas City shuffle" from the movie "Lucky Number Sleven". It was the first move in a very complicated revenge scheme. 108.162.246.224 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I went in and cleaned up the submarine explainations. It seems like they were put there by someone who hadn't actually read Journal 3. Reywas (talk) 20:24, 16 February 2015 (UTC)

I love the 'citation needed' on the "It's unclear how feeding a squirrel through a fax machine can help win an argument. Whoever did that should be promoted. :) --JayRulesXKCD what's up? 12:40, 6 January 2017 (UTC)

I wonder if he chose to plead the third because he stole the submarine in Secretary 3 and it was seen in Journal 3...162.158.74.33 03:29, 12 March 2017 (UTC)

"Almost" superhuman? He's up there with Beret Guy in terms of superhuman powers. One person operating a nuclear sub by himself is impossible right there. Nitpicking (talk) 13:05, 28 August 2021 (UTC)

"the US Senate would probably not have held that against a nominee" - um - seriously? They wouldn't care if this guy stole a nuclear submarine, unless it was American? This defies sense. L-Space Traveler (talk) 16:41, 1 September 2022 (UTC)