Difference between revisions of "498: Secretary: Part 5"

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
Jump to: navigation, search
(Explanation)
(Explanation: [citation needed] is overused. Sentence it was attached to was also unnecessary)
(28 intermediate revisions by 20 users not shown)
Line 3: Line 3:
 
| date      = October 31, 2008
 
| date      = October 31, 2008
 
| title    = Secretary: Part 5
 
| title    = Secretary: Part 5
| image    = secretary_part_5.png
+
| image    = secretary part 5.png
| imagesize =
 
 
| titletext = And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
 
| titletext = And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
 
}}
 
}}
  
 
==Explanation==
 
==Explanation==
This is the 5<sup>th</sup> and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. [[Black Hat]] is up to his usual shenanigans. Most of the comic happens in the {{w|United States Senate chamber|US Senate chamber room}}.
+
This is the 5th and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. The culmination  has [[Black Hat]] up to his usual shenanigans in the {{w|United States Senate chamber|US Senate chamber room}}.
  
Of course, [[Playpen balls|playpen balls]] have been the topic of many comics before. Notably [[150: Grownups]].
+
Of course, [[playpen balls]] have been the topic of many comics before. Notably [[150: Grownups]].
  
The other reference of note is of the {{w|Tron (movie)|Tron}} universe. {{w|Tron (video game)|Tron}} was an arcade game in the 1980s, from which Disney created a movie. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles which left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the {{w|Snake (game)|Snake game}}.
+
{{w|Tron (video game)|Tron}} was an arcade game, based on the {{w|Tron (movie)|movie}} of the same name, and both released in 1982. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles which left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the {{w|Snake (game)|Snake game}}.
  
All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series:
+
The Senate or a Senate committee, in reality, cannot sentence a person to death, as that would be a {{w|Bill of attainder|bill of attainder}}, which Congress is prohibited from passing by Article I, Section 9, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution: "No Bill of Attainder ... shall be passed."
* [[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
 
* [[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
 
* [[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
 
* [[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
 
* [[498: Secretary: Part 5]]
 
  
==Transcript==
+
{{w|Al Gore}} was the {{w|Vice President of the United States|Vice President}} under President {{w|Bill Clinton}} and ran as the Democratic nominee for President in 2000.
{The Senate. Hat Guy sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.}
 
  
Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.
+
Al Gore has had {{w|Al Gore and information technology|quite a history with the Internet}}, including one oft-misquoted (rather, quoted out of context) interview with CNN in which he told {{w|Wolf Blitzer}}, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." Many spun this to mean he claimed to have actually invented the Internet himself, although its pioneers agreed with Gore's assessment.
  
Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.
+
Cory Doctorow offers Black Hat a lift and asks if he's a fugitive now, and Black Hat replies that they never had his name, which is odd, considering that they know he's stolen a nuclear submarine and built a death ray.
  
Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.
+
Back at Congress, they seem to have forgotten about Black Hat's "gleeful mayhem" and are jumping off the balcony into the ball pit below.
  
{Hat Guy is leaning back in his chair.}
+
All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series:
 +
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
 +
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
 +
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
 +
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
 +
*498: Secretary: Part 5 (this one)
  
[Meanwhile . . .]
+
This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.
  
Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!
+
It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was nominated as Internet secretary.
  
{Back at the Senate. Hat Guy is standing.}
+
==Transcript==
 +
:[The Senate. Black Hat sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.]
 +
:Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.
  
Hat Guy: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.
+
:Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.
  
Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings
+
:Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.
 +
:[Black Hat is leaning back in his chair.]
  
Hat Guy: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.
+
:[Meanwhile...]
 +
:Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!
  
{The committee members murmur among themselves.}
+
:[Back at the Senate. Black Hat is standing.]
 +
:Black Hat: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.
  
{There is a panel in the floor between Hat Guy and the committee.}
+
:Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings?
  
<<RUMBLE>>
+
:Black Hat: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.
  
<<plink>> <<plink>>
+
:[The committee members murmur among themselves.]
  
{A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.}
+
:[There is a panel in the floor between Black Hat and the committee.]
 +
:''RUMBLE''
 +
:''plink plink''
  
<<plink>>
+
:[A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.]
 +
:''plink''
  
{The room is still. Hat Guy's arms are folded.}
+
:[The room is still. Black Hat's arms are folded.]
  
{A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Hat Guy is already gone.}
+
:[A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Black Hat is already gone.]
 +
:''FOOM''
  
<<FOOM>>
+
:[The committee members chase Black Hat out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.]
  
{The committee members chase Hat Guy out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.}
+
:[The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.]
  
{The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.}
+
:[Black Hat stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.]
 +
:Committee Members: Security! Someone!
 +
:Committee Members: Get Him!
  
{Hat Guy stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.}
+
:[Tron Paul bursts through the wall.]
 +
:''CRASH''
 +
:Tron Paul: Aaaaa!
  
Committee Members: Security! Someone!
+
:[Black Hat grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.]
 +
:''snag''
 +
:Tron Paul: Hey!
  
Committee Members: Get Him!
+
:[Black Hat swings onto the top of the light cycle.]
  
{Tron Paul bursts through the wall.}
+
:[Black Hat crouches on top of the light cycle.]
 +
:Tron Paul: Get Off!
  
<<CRASH>>
+
:[Tron Paul and Black Hat crash through the far wall of the rotunda.]
 +
:''CRASH''
  
Tron Paul: Aaaaa!
+
:[Tron Paul hits the ground.]
 +
:''WHAM''
 +
:Tron Paul: Ow!
  
{Hat Guy grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.}
+
:[Black Hat runs away.]
 +
:Tron Paul: Ughhh.
  
<<snag>>
+
:[The lightcycle disappears.]
 +
:Tron Paul: I feel queasy...
 +
:Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!
 +
:Black Hat: Hi, Cory.
 +
:Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?
 +
:Black Hat: Sure.
  
Tron Paul: Hey!
+
:{Black Hat and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.}
 +
:Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?
 +
:Black Hat: Well, I never did give them my name...
  
{Hat Guy swings onto the top of the light cycle.}
+
:[But in the rotunda]
 +
:[Senators play in the playpen balls.]
 +
:Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!
 +
:Senators: Senior senators first!
 +
:Senators: Wheeee!
 +
:Senators: I'm a submarine!
 +
:[All is forgiven.]
  
{Hat Guy crouches on top of the light cycle.}
+
{{comic discussion}}
  
Tron Paul: Get Off!
+
[[Category:Secretary|05]]
 
+
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
{Tron Paul and Hat Guy crash through the far wall of the rotunda.}
+
[[Category:Comics with color]]
 
 
<<CRASH>>
 
 
 
{Tron Paul hits the ground.}
 
 
 
<<WHAM>>
 
 
 
Tron Paul: Ow!
 
 
 
{Hat Guy runs away.}
 
 
 
Tron Paul: Ughhh.
 
 
 
{The lightcycle disappears.}
 
 
 
Tron Paul: I feel queasy . . .
 
 
 
Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!
 
 
 
Hat Guy: Hi, Cory.
 
 
 
Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?
 
 
 
Hat Guy: Sure.
 
 
 
{Hat Guy and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.}
 
 
 
Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?
 
 
 
Hat Guy: Well, I never did give them my name . . .
 
 
 
[But in the rotunda]
 
 
 
{Senators play in the playpen balls.}
 
 
 
Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!
 
 
 
Senators: Senior senators first!
 
 
 
Senators: Wheeee!
 
 
 
Senators: I'm a submarine!
 
 
 
[All is forgiven.]
 
 
 
{{comic discussion}}
 
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
 
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
 
+
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
 +
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
 
[[Category:Playpen balls]]
 
[[Category:Playpen balls]]
 
[[Category:Secretary]]
 
[[Category:Comics with color]]
 

Revision as of 15:56, 16 May 2017

Secretary: Part 5
And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
Title text: And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.

Explanation

This is the 5th and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. The culmination has Black Hat up to his usual shenanigans in the US Senate chamber room.

Of course, playpen balls have been the topic of many comics before. Notably 150: Grownups.

Tron was an arcade game, based on the movie of the same name, and both released in 1982. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles which left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the Snake game.

The Senate or a Senate committee, in reality, cannot sentence a person to death, as that would be a bill of attainder, which Congress is prohibited from passing by Article I, Section 9, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution: "No Bill of Attainder ... shall be passed."

Al Gore was the Vice President under President Bill Clinton and ran as the Democratic nominee for President in 2000.

Al Gore has had quite a history with the Internet, including one oft-misquoted (rather, quoted out of context) interview with CNN in which he told Wolf Blitzer, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." Many spun this to mean he claimed to have actually invented the Internet himself, although its pioneers agreed with Gore's assessment.

Cory Doctorow offers Black Hat a lift and asks if he's a fugitive now, and Black Hat replies that they never had his name, which is odd, considering that they know he's stolen a nuclear submarine and built a death ray.

Back at Congress, they seem to have forgotten about Black Hat's "gleeful mayhem" and are jumping off the balcony into the ball pit below.

All comics in the Secretary series:

This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of 493: Actuarial, in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was nominated as Internet secretary.

Transcript

[The Senate. Black Hat sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.]
Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.
Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.
Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.
[Black Hat is leaning back in his chair.]
[Meanwhile...]
Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!
[Back at the Senate. Black Hat is standing.]
Black Hat: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.
Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings?
Black Hat: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.
[The committee members murmur among themselves.]
[There is a panel in the floor between Black Hat and the committee.]
RUMBLE
plink plink
[A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.]
plink
[The room is still. Black Hat's arms are folded.]
[A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Black Hat is already gone.]
FOOM
[The committee members chase Black Hat out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.]
[The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.]
[Black Hat stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.]
Committee Members: Security! Someone!
Committee Members: Get Him!
[Tron Paul bursts through the wall.]
CRASH
Tron Paul: Aaaaa!
[Black Hat grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.]
snag
Tron Paul: Hey!
[Black Hat swings onto the top of the light cycle.]
[Black Hat crouches on top of the light cycle.]
Tron Paul: Get Off!
[Tron Paul and Black Hat crash through the far wall of the rotunda.]
CRASH
[Tron Paul hits the ground.]
WHAM
Tron Paul: Ow!
[Black Hat runs away.]
Tron Paul: Ughhh.
[The lightcycle disappears.]
Tron Paul: I feel queasy...
Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!
Black Hat: Hi, Cory.
Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?
Black Hat: Sure.
{Black Hat and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.}
Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?
Black Hat: Well, I never did give them my name...
[But in the rotunda]
[Senators play in the playpen balls.]
Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!
Senators: Senior senators first!
Senators: Wheeee!
Senators: I'm a submarine!
[All is forgiven.]


comment.png add a comment! ⋅ comment.png add a topic (use sparingly)! ⋅ Icons-mini-action refresh blue.gif refresh comments!

Discussion

The Tron video game was based on the movie Ton, not the other way around. Tron the movie was inspired by the video game Pong, but only in a general, Oooh -- computers! sense. (From Wikipedia: "Development of Tron began in 1976 when Lisberger became fascinated with the early video game Pong.") -- ‎64.20.186.2 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

You're quite correct: the game was, indeed, based on the movie. Made the necessary changes. Thokling (talk) 08:17, 25 September 2013 (UTC)

The Light Cycles though were most likely based in part on the game Blockade which was released in October 1976 [1] 6 years before the movie was released so I would doubt they never ran across some copy of it. 108.162.216.166 11:40, 20 July 2017 (UTC)

I hav not laughed like this i a ile.

162.158.63.250 05:24, 28 October 2017 (UTC)qwertybob

Is it just me or does the White House(?) look like the Principle Office[2] from the television show ReBoot? Viridiansurfer (talk) 16:31, 9 March 2020 (UTC)


Italic text