Difference between revisions of "498: Secretary: Part 5"

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| date      = October 31, 2008
 
| date      = October 31, 2008
 
| title    = Secretary: Part 5
 
| title    = Secretary: Part 5
| image    = secretary_part_5.png
+
| image    = secretary part 5.png
| imagesize =
 
 
| titletext = And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
 
| titletext = And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
 
}}
 
}}
  
 
==Explanation==
 
==Explanation==
This is the 5<sup>th</sup> and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. [[Black Hat]] is up to his usual shenanigans. Most of the comic happens in the {{w|United States Senate chamber|US Senate chamber room}}.
+
This is the 5th and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. The culmination  has [[Black Hat]] up to his usual shenanigans in the {{w|United States Senate chamber|US Senate chamber room}}.
  
Of course, playpen balls have been the [[:Category:Playpen balls|topic]] of many comics before. Notably [[150: Grownups]].
+
The hearings have ended, with the chairman deciding to sentence him to death, instead of confirming his position of Internet Secretary. Black Hat replies that he was "never interested in taking the position". This would be quite weird, as Senate confirmation meetings take a long time. The committee members are obviously surprised, and question Black Hat, trying to get him to reveal his motives. He then cryptically replies that "It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels". The confused committee members then look at each other.  
  
The other reference of not is of the {{w|Tron (movie)|Tron}} universe. {{w|Tron (video game)}} was an arcade game in the 1980s, which Disney created a movie from. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles that left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the {{w|Snake (game)|Snake game}}.
+
A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman, before being followed by a geyser of red, white and blue balls, which begin to engulf the room and the Senate rotunda. Of course, Black Hat has already escaped, by grabbing Tron Paul's lightcycle and using it to smash his way out of the rotunda.  
  
 +
Outside the Senate, Cory Doctorow offers Black Hat a lift and asks if he's a fugitive now, and Black Hat replies that they never had his name, which is odd, considering that they know he's stolen a nuclear submarine, along with everything else mentioned in [[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
  
==Transcript==
+
Back at Congress, they seem to have forgotten about Black Hat's "gleeful mayhem" and are jumping off the balcony into the ball pit below.
{The Senate. Hat Guy sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.}
 
  
Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.
+
The title text refers to {{w|Al Gore}}. Al Gore was the {{w|Vice President of the United States|Vice President}} under President {{w|Bill Clinton}} and ran as the Democratic nominee for President in 2000. Al Gore has had {{w|Al Gore and information technology|quite a history with the Internet}}, including one oft-misquoted (rather, quoted out of context) interview with CNN in which he told {{w|Wolf Blitzer}}, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." Many spun this to mean he claimed to have actually invented the Internet himself, although its pioneers agreed with Gore's assessment.
  
Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.
+
The Senate or a Senate committee, in reality, cannot sentence a person to death, as that would be a {{w|Bill of attainder|bill of attainder}}, which Congress is prohibited from passing by Article I, Section 9, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution: "No Bill of Attainder ... shall be passed." "An unorthodox move," indeed.
  
Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.
+
{{w|Tron (video game)|Tron}} was an arcade game, based on the {{w|Tron (movie)|movie}} of the same name, and both released in 1982. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles which left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the {{w|Snake (game)|Snake game}}.
  
{Hat Guy is leaning back in his chair.}
+
Of course, [[playpen balls]] have been the topic of many comics before, notably in [[150: Grownups]].
  
[Meanwhile . . .]
+
All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series:
 +
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
 +
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
 +
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
 +
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
 +
*498: Secretary: Part 5 (this one)
  
Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!
+
This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.
  
{Back at the Senate. Hat Guy is standing.}
+
It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was nominated as Internet secretary.
  
Hat Guy: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.
+
==Transcript==
 +
:[The Senate. Black Hat sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.]
 +
:Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.
  
Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings
+
:Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.
  
Hat Guy: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.
+
:Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.
 +
:[Black Hat is leaning back in his chair.]
  
{The committee members murmur among themselves.}
+
:[Meanwhile...]
 +
:Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!
  
{There is a panel in the floor between Hat Guy and the committee.}
+
:[Back at the Senate. Black Hat is standing.]
 +
:Black Hat: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.
  
<<RUMBLE>>
+
:Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings?
  
<<plink>> <<plink>>
+
:Black Hat: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.
  
{A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.}
+
:[The committee members murmur among themselves.]
  
<<plink>>
+
:[There is a panel in the floor between Black Hat and the committee.]
 +
:''RUMBLE''
 +
:''plink plink''
  
{The room is still. Hat Guy's arms are folded.}
+
:[A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.]
 +
:''plink''
  
{A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Hat Guy is already gone.}
+
:[The room is still. Black Hat's arms are folded.]
  
<<FOOM>>
+
:[A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Black Hat is already gone.]
 +
:''FOOM''
  
{The committee members chase Hat Guy out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.}
+
:[The committee members chase Black Hat out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.]
  
{The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.}
+
:[The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.]
  
{Hat Guy stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.}
+
:[Black Hat stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.]
 +
:Committee Members: Security! Someone!
 +
:Committee Members: Get Him!
  
Committee Members: Security! Someone!
+
:[Tron Paul bursts through the wall.]
 +
:''CRASH''
 +
:Tron Paul: Aaaaa!
  
Committee Members: Get Him!
+
:[Black Hat grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.]
 +
:''snag''
 +
:Tron Paul: Hey!
  
{Tron Paul bursts through the wall.}
+
:[Black Hat swings onto the top of the light cycle.]
  
<<CRASH>>
+
:[Black Hat crouches on top of the light cycle.]
 +
:Tron Paul: Get Off!
  
Tron Paul: Aaaaa!
+
:[Tron Paul and Black Hat crash through the far wall of the rotunda.]
 +
:''CRASH''
  
{Hat Guy grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.}
+
:[Tron Paul hits the ground.]
 +
:''WHAM''
 +
:Tron Paul: Ow!
  
<<snag>>
+
:[Black Hat runs away.]
 +
:Tron Paul: Ughhh.
  
Tron Paul: Hey!
+
:[The lightcycle disappears.]
 +
:Tron Paul: I feel queasy...
 +
:Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!
 +
:Black Hat: Hi, Cory.
 +
:Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?
 +
:Black Hat: Sure.
  
{Hat Guy swings onto the top of the light cycle.}
+
:{Black Hat and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.}
 +
:Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?
 +
:Black Hat: Well, I never did give them my name...
  
{Hat Guy crouches on top of the light cycle.}
+
:[But in the rotunda]
 +
:[Senators play in the playpen balls.]
 +
:Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!
 +
:Senators: Senior senators first!
 +
:Senators: Wheeee!
 +
:Senators: I'm a submarine!
 +
:[All is forgiven.]
  
Tron Paul: Get Off!
+
{{comic discussion}}
 
 
{Tron Paul and Hat Guy crash through the far wall of the rotunda.}
 
 
 
<<CRASH>>
 
 
 
{Tron Paul hits the ground.}
 
 
 
<<WHAM>>
 
  
Tron Paul: Ow!
+
[[Category:Secretary|05]]
 
+
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
{Hat Guy runs away.}
+
[[Category:Comics with color]]
 
 
Tron Paul: Ughhh.
 
 
 
{The lightcycle disappears.}
 
 
 
Tron Paul: I feel queasy . . .
 
 
 
Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!
 
 
 
Hat Guy: Hi, Cory.
 
 
 
Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?
 
 
 
Hat Guy: Sure.
 
 
 
{Hat Guy and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.}
 
 
 
Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?
 
 
 
Hat Guy: Well, I never did give them my name . . .
 
 
 
[But in the rotunda]
 
 
 
{Senators play in the playpen balls.}
 
 
 
Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!
 
 
 
Senators: Senior senators first!
 
 
 
Senators: Wheeee!
 
 
 
Senators: I'm a submarine!
 
 
 
[All is forgiven.]
 
 
 
{{comic discussion}}
 
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
 
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
 
+
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
 +
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
 
[[Category:Playpen balls]]
 
[[Category:Playpen balls]]

Revision as of 08:55, 10 March 2018

Secretary: Part 5
And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
Title text: And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.

Explanation

This is the 5th and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. The culmination has Black Hat up to his usual shenanigans in the US Senate chamber room.

The hearings have ended, with the chairman deciding to sentence him to death, instead of confirming his position of Internet Secretary. Black Hat replies that he was "never interested in taking the position". This would be quite weird, as Senate confirmation meetings take a long time. The committee members are obviously surprised, and question Black Hat, trying to get him to reveal his motives. He then cryptically replies that "It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels". The confused committee members then look at each other.

A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman, before being followed by a geyser of red, white and blue balls, which begin to engulf the room and the Senate rotunda. Of course, Black Hat has already escaped, by grabbing Tron Paul's lightcycle and using it to smash his way out of the rotunda.

Outside the Senate, Cory Doctorow offers Black Hat a lift and asks if he's a fugitive now, and Black Hat replies that they never had his name, which is odd, considering that they know he's stolen a nuclear submarine, along with everything else mentioned in 496: Secretary: Part 3

Back at Congress, they seem to have forgotten about Black Hat's "gleeful mayhem" and are jumping off the balcony into the ball pit below.

The title text refers to Al Gore. Al Gore was the Vice President under President Bill Clinton and ran as the Democratic nominee for President in 2000. Al Gore has had quite a history with the Internet, including one oft-misquoted (rather, quoted out of context) interview with CNN in which he told Wolf Blitzer, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." Many spun this to mean he claimed to have actually invented the Internet himself, although its pioneers agreed with Gore's assessment.

The Senate or a Senate committee, in reality, cannot sentence a person to death, as that would be a bill of attainder, which Congress is prohibited from passing by Article I, Section 9, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution: "No Bill of Attainder ... shall be passed." "An unorthodox move," indeed.

Tron was an arcade game, based on the movie of the same name, and both released in 1982. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles which left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the Snake game.

Of course, playpen balls have been the topic of many comics before, notably in 150: Grownups.

All comics in the Secretary series:

This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of 493: Actuarial, in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was nominated as Internet secretary.

Transcript

[The Senate. Black Hat sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.]
Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.
Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.
Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.
[Black Hat is leaning back in his chair.]
[Meanwhile...]
Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!
[Back at the Senate. Black Hat is standing.]
Black Hat: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.
Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings?
Black Hat: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.
[The committee members murmur among themselves.]
[There is a panel in the floor between Black Hat and the committee.]
RUMBLE
plink plink
[A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.]
plink
[The room is still. Black Hat's arms are folded.]
[A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Black Hat is already gone.]
FOOM
[The committee members chase Black Hat out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.]
[The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.]
[Black Hat stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.]
Committee Members: Security! Someone!
Committee Members: Get Him!
[Tron Paul bursts through the wall.]
CRASH
Tron Paul: Aaaaa!
[Black Hat grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.]
snag
Tron Paul: Hey!
[Black Hat swings onto the top of the light cycle.]
[Black Hat crouches on top of the light cycle.]
Tron Paul: Get Off!
[Tron Paul and Black Hat crash through the far wall of the rotunda.]
CRASH
[Tron Paul hits the ground.]
WHAM
Tron Paul: Ow!
[Black Hat runs away.]
Tron Paul: Ughhh.
[The lightcycle disappears.]
Tron Paul: I feel queasy...
Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!
Black Hat: Hi, Cory.
Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?
Black Hat: Sure.
{Black Hat and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.}
Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?
Black Hat: Well, I never did give them my name...
[But in the rotunda]
[Senators play in the playpen balls.]
Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!
Senators: Senior senators first!
Senators: Wheeee!
Senators: I'm a submarine!
[All is forgiven.]


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Discussion

The Tron video game was based on the movie Ton, not the other way around. Tron the movie was inspired by the video game Pong, but only in a general, Oooh -- computers! sense. (From Wikipedia: "Development of Tron began in 1976 when Lisberger became fascinated with the early video game Pong.") -- ‎64.20.186.2 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

You're quite correct: the game was, indeed, based on the movie. Made the necessary changes. Thokling (talk) 08:17, 25 September 2013 (UTC)

The Light Cycles though were most likely based in part on the game Blockade which was released in October 1976 [1] 6 years before the movie was released so I would doubt they never ran across some copy of it. 108.162.216.166 11:40, 20 July 2017 (UTC)

I hav not laughed like this i a ile.

162.158.63.250 05:24, 28 October 2017 (UTC)qwertybob

Is it just me or does the White House(?) look like the Principle Office[2] from the television show ReBoot? Viridiansurfer (talk) 16:31, 9 March 2020 (UTC)


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