515: No One Must Know

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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No One Must Know
Or perhaps they knew he was there, and were just trying to torment him first.
Title text: Or perhaps they knew he was there, and were just trying to torment him first.


Black Hat and Danish are more known for their sociopathy than their affection. In the first panel, they are uncharacteristically affectionate. The entrance of a stick figure, and his observation of this state, leads Black Hat and Danish to kill him and bury the evidence, so that no one knows that side of them.

The title text provides the alternative hypothesis that they were planning on killing him the whole time, and were intentionally acting affectionate for the mental effect it would have on their victim.


This comic inspired the use of "Danish" to refer to Black Hat's girlfriend on this wiki.


[Black hat and Danish are talking and holding hands]
Black hat: You're my dearest darling danish.
Danish: And you're my lovely cutie pie.
Black hat: Well, you're --
[Cueball enters]
[Black hat and Danish look at each other]
[Black hat is holding a bloody sack, while Danish is pushing down on a shovel to make a hole for the body.]
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The "Trivia" about her name is silly. By that logic black hat should be called pie. 19:40, 7 July 2013 (UTC)

How can you say the truth is silly?? It just *is*. 08:11, 22 December 2013 (UTC)
And in this case the truth is trivial!  :¬D ExternalMonolog (talk) 15:28, 22 January 2014 (UTC)ExternalMonolog
That, and the internet already HAS a psychopath with "pie" in their name. Has anyone here even read Cupcakes? ...I just realized that this alludes to the pastry terms in the comic. 21:05, 12 February 2014 (UTC)
Cupcakes? The best known 'Pie'-named character is fiction is the assassin (sic! Though not a psycho) in Imajica. 19:14, 1 August 2014 (UTC)

He calls her a cake (Danish pastry) and she calls him a pie. It is part of the joke. It is thus obviously not her name. But as she looks too much like Megan to not have another name than evil girl with long hair - it is as good a name as any on these wiki pages. This is not Randall's thruth - just explain XKCD's name. Kynde (talk) 16:04, 14 May 2014 (UTC)

It's probably not meant to be cueball, IMO. Mr FJ (talk) 06:47, 25 June 2014 (UTC)

For the same reason as explained in my comment above Cueball is just a name used in this wiki. So any bald character is per definition Cueball. Randall uses this charachter in many different settings and there are often more than one of "him" in a given cartoon.--Kynde (talk) 16:03, 2 December 2014 (UTC)
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