846: Dental Nerve
Title text: WAKE up in the MORning and my BREATh ain't PRETty / and noBODY'S gonna KISS me if my MOUTH smells SHItty / so I ALways brush my TEETH before I START on the JACK / sure, my DRINKing's out of HAND, but I'm conTROLLing my PLAQUE.
Ke$ha is a pop/rap singer, and this strip refers to her 2009-10 hit single "Tik Tok." The song begins with the following lyrics, of which the title text is a parody:
- Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy
- Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
- Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
- 'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back.
A "bottle of Jack" refers to the Jack Daniel's brand of whiskey.
The strip depicts Megan warning Ke$ha not to neglect dental hygiene by using whiskey instead of toothpaste to freshen her breath, due to the severe pain that could result if she let the nerves in her teeth become infected. The title text displays dental-hygiene-friendly lyrics, with emphasis on certain syllables (as all-caps) to imitate the rhythm of the original song.
- Megan: Dear Ke$ha,
- Megan: It's hard to describe the pain of a deeply infected dental nerve.
- [Megan putting her hands in a bowl.]
- Megan: To get an idea, put your hands in a bowl full of ice cubes. Hold them there for 90 seconds.
- Megan: Now imagine that pain in your jaw, every minute of every hour, bright and searing, washing out everything. You can't party all night. You can barely stand up. There's only the pain.
- Megan: So, some friendly advice: When you wake up in the morning, before you brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack,
- Megan: Brush them with actual toothpaste.
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