Difference between revisions of "887: Future Timeline"

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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(Transcript)
(Transcript: Wow, it took ages. And I'm pretty sure some typos need a fix.)
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:{|
 
:{|
 
|-
 
|-
|"By <year>"
+
|<small>"By <year>"</small>
|"In year"
+
|<small>"In year"</small>
 
|-
 
|-
|"By the year <year>"
+
|<small>"By the year <year>"</small>
|"In the year <year>"
+
|<small>"In the year <year>"</small>
 
|-
 
|-
|"Will * by the year <year>"
+
|<small>"Will * by the year <year>"</small>
|"Will * in the year <year>"
+
|<small>"Will * in the year <year>"</small>
 
|-
 
|-
|"In <year>, * will"
+
|<small>"In <year>, * will"</small>
|"By <year>, * will"
+
|<small>"By <year>, * will"</small>
 
|}
 
|}
  
Line 448: Line 448:
 
|-
 
|-
 
|UK population doubles
 
|UK population doubles
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2081
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2082
 +
|World population declines to one Billion
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2083
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2084
 +
|Robot policemen introduced
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2085
 +
|US deficit reaches 62% of GDP
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2086
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2087
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2088
 +
|Japan becomes all-robot country
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2089
 +
|World halts fossil fuel use
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2090
 +
|Global warming hits 7°C
 +
|-
 +
|Global warming hits 4°C
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2091
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2092
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2093
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2094
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2095
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2096
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2097
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2098
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2099
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="11" valign="top"|2100
 +
|Global warming around 5-7°C
 +
|-
 +
|Sea levels have risen by a meter or more
 +
|-
 +
|Joshua Trees nearly extinct
 +
|-
 +
|Earth's climate resembles that of the cretaceous
 +
|-
 +
|Germany tropical
 +
|-
 +
|Emperor Penguins extinct
 +
|-
 +
|Arctic permafrost thaws
 +
|-
 +
|Rising seas flood coastal cities
 +
|-
 +
|Rain forests mostly gone due to climatic shifsts
 +
|-
 +
|All coral reefs gone
 +
|-
 +
|Gilette intrduces 14-bladed razor
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2101
 +
|WAR WAS BEGINNING
 
|}
 
|}
  
 
{{comic discussion}}
 
{{comic discussion}}
 
[[Category:Charts]]
 
[[Category:Charts]]

Revision as of 20:09, 18 August 2013

Future Timeline
Not shown: the approximately 30,000 identical, vaguely hysterical articles titled "WHITE PEOPLE IN [THE US/BRITAIN] TO BECOME MINORITY BY [YEAR]!", which came up for basically any year I put in.
Title text: Not shown: the approximately 30,000 identical, vaguely hysterical articles titled "WHITE PEOPLE IN [THE US/BRITAIN] TO BECOME MINORITY BY [YEAR]!", which came up for basically any year I put in.

Explanation

Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect:
Please include the reason why this explanation is incomplete, like this: {{incomplete|reason}}

If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This comic uses the same strategy as comic 715: Numbers, in which Randall uses Google to search for phrases and then charts the results. This one is charted as a timeline, whereas 715 was charted as line graphs.

2101 - War Was Beginning is a reference to the famous internet meme "All your base are belong to us".

Besides the "All your base are belong to us" reference, there is not any other out and out references in the comic, the rest are actually results that you can find if you search using Randall's methods. Additionally, I'm sure "War Was Beginning" came up when he googled 2101 as well.

Transcript

THE FUTURE
According to Google search results
Events for each year determined by the first page of Google search results for the phrases:
"By <year>" "In year"
"By the year <year>" "In the year <year>"
"Will * by the year <year>" "Will * in the year <year>"
"In <year>, * will" "By <year>, * will"
2012 World population reaches 7 billion
Flying cars reach market
Canada cuts greenhouse emmissions to 6% below 1990 levels as per Kyoto
Apocalypse occurs
2013 National dept paid off through President Clinton's plans
Microchipping of all Americans begins
Homelessness ended in Massachusets
Health care reform law repealed
2014 US leaves Afghanistan
GNU/Linux becomes dominant OS
2015 New Horizons reaches Pluto
Health care law causes hyperinflation
192 UN member nations acheive millenium development goals:
  • Extreme poverty and hunger eradicated
  • Universal primary education implemented
  • Women empowerd, gender equality reached
  • Environmental stability ensured
2016 Baby boomers begin turning 65
Android takes 38% of the smartphone market
Android takes 45% of the smartphone market
Windows Phone overtakes iOS in smartphones
2017 China completes unmanned Lunar sample-return mission
Social security stops running surplus
US budget balanced
Newspapers become obsolete and die out
Cosmetic surgery doubles
2018 Social security stops running surplus
Jesus returns to Earth
2019 Social security stops running surplus
Every baby has genes mapped at birth
2020 Solar power becomes cheaper than fossil fuels
Keyboards and Mice become obsolete
New Tappan Zee bridge constructed
2021 US dept reaches 97% of GDP
US unemployment falls to 2.8%
Restored caliphate unifies Middle East
Lake Mead evaporates
2022 Kilimanjaro snow-free
HTML 5 finished
Newspapers become obsolete and die out
2023 Jesus returns to Earth (again)
US dept passes 100% of GDP
All unprotected ancient forrests gone from Pacific northwest
2024 Atlantis begins to reappear
Orangutans extinct in wild
China lands men and women on the moon
NASA sets up permanent moon base
Female professionals pass males in pay
2025 World population reaches 8 billion
Two billion people face water shortages
62 MPG cars introduced
US power fades
2026 Atlantis emerges completely
Rock Bands die out
US dept paid of
Car accidents cease
West coast falls into ocean
2027 Japan introduces new fastest Maglev Train
Lyndon Larouche-Planed Mars colony is established
Social security stops running surplus
2028 Tobacco outlawed
40% of coral reefs gone
US dept paid of
Secial security stops running surplus
2029 Social security trust fund exhausted
Computers pass the turning test
Aging reversed
Wikipedia reaches 30 Million articles
2030 Half of Amazon Rain Forest lost to logging
Cancer deaths double from 2008 levels
Arctic ice-free in summer
2031 Computers controlled by thought
Realtors replaced by technology
Social security trust fund exhausted
2032 "Big One" hits San Francisco
US elects first married lesbian President
Entire world converted to christianity
2033 Kilimanjaro ice disappears
India becomes superpower
Europe reaches Mars
2034 US diabetes cases double, treatment costs triple
US builds autonomous robot army
2035 80% of America's energy comes from renewable sources
Himalayan glaciers down 80% in size
Arctic sea lane opens
2036 80% of US has access to high-speed rail
Asteroid Apophis misses/hits Earth
2037 Arctic ice-free in September
Social security trust fund exhausted
2038 32-Bit timestamps roll over, causing Y2K-level chaos
"Big One" hits California
2039 US population hits 400 Million
Severe heat waves become commonplace
Scientology becomes majority relegion in US
2040 Arctic summers ice-free
Nanotechnology makes humans immortal
2041 Social security trust fund exhausted
2042
2043 World population passes 9 Billion
2044 Mankind genetically engineered to be happy
Childhood obesity reaches 100%
2045 Humans and machines merge
2046 World's natural resources depleted
2047 World ruled by banks and corporations
Tobacco industry fails
US begins using autonomous attack drones
2048 Salt-water fish extinct from overfishing
Unisex bathing suits cover body from shoulder to ankle
Entire US population overweight
US begins using autonomous attack drones
2049 $1.000 computer exceeds computational ability of humanity
Singularity occurs
Fishing industry collapses
2050 80% of Earth's population lives in urban centers
China controlls space
Sex with robots possible
Cars banned from european cities
One Million species extinct from climate change
2051 Atmosphere escapes into space
2052 Medicare, medicaid, and social security spending exceed total US revenue
2053 US budget balanced
Majority od Americans in prison
Cars driven by dogs
2054 Hunger becomes unimaginable global problem
2055 Atmospheric CO2 doubled
Oil runs out
Copper, tin, lead, gold, and nickel all exhausted
2056 RFID-Tagged dreverless cars
Robots given same rights as humans
2057 150 Japanese settlers on Mars
Colorado river runs dry
2058 Smoking ends in New Zealand
2059 Humans have domesticated robots
2060 Human race lives in peace
Extreme droughts across much of Earth
Global temperature rises 4°C
Oil runs out again
2061 Halley's comet returns
2062 Uganda hosts World Cup
The Jetsons
2063 First human clones reach adulthood
Population of Moon reaches 100,000
Population of Mars reaches 10,000
Spacecraft exceed speed of light
2064 Clean air act finishesh reducing haze in national parks to natural levels
2065 Last corpal reef die out
Chernobyl cleanup complete
2066 Cyprus achieves it's goal
2067 Americans live in domed cities and watch 3D TV
Readheads go extinct
2068 Ozone hole over antarctic finishes recovering
Lord Jesus rules Earth from Throne in Jerusalem
Entire world population gay due to chemicals in the water
2069 Public masturbation legalized
2070 World population peaks
City-Scale flooding desasters
60% of world's energy comes from renewable sources
2071 Europe's temperatures rise by 3°C
World summer temperatures rise by 5°C
2072 US retirement age is set to 75
2073 Oceans do not rise one foot
2074 Number of 100-year-olds reaches one Million
Supertyphoons hit Japan
2075 US retirement age is set to 69
2076 Average scientific paper has more than 24 authors
Social secutity trust fund exhausted
2077
2078 Newspapers become obsolate and die out
2079 US debt reaches 716% of GDP
Lodgepole pines disappear from north-west
Floods commonplace
Religion marginalized
2080 Federal spending reaches 70% of GDP
UK population doubles
2081
2082 World population declines to one Billion
2083
2084 Robot policemen introduced
2085 US deficit reaches 62% of GDP
2086
2087
2088 Japan becomes all-robot country
2089 World halts fossil fuel use
2090 Global warming hits 7°C
Global warming hits 4°C
2091
2092
2093
2094
2095
2096
2097
2098
2099
2100 Global warming around 5-7°C
Sea levels have risen by a meter or more
Joshua Trees nearly extinct
Earth's climate resembles that of the cretaceous
Germany tropical
Emperor Penguins extinct
Arctic permafrost thaws
Rising seas flood coastal cities
Rain forests mostly gone due to climatic shifsts
All coral reefs gone
Gilette intrduces 14-bladed razor
2101 WAR WAS BEGINNING


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Discussion

The explanation is really messed up. You can hardly tell where one year ends and the next begins. Can someone who's better at editing than me fix this, perhaps by putting a line across the page after each year? GizmoDude (talk) 19:11, 7 April 2016 (UTC)

This one slipped under the transcripting radar. I may do it. --Quicksilver (talk) 20:52, 17 August 2013 (UTC)

Do not talk about radars, just do it. The transcript is done right now, but the explain section still does need a big radar!--Dgbrt (talk) 20:20, 18 August 2013 (UTC)

Find the song! I have no idea so far but the repeating phrase "Social security trust fund exhausted" should match a refrain.--Dgbrt (talk) 20:20, 18 August 2013 (UTC)

They now have the dogs driving cars... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWAK0J8Uhzk Let's not wait for 2053.173.245.54.90 21:01, 20 March 2014 (UTC)

Out of curiosity (I'm new to the standards of explainxkcd), are out of date pages considered incomplete? Or is it up to editors to chose when to update a pages explination. I would assume the former, except that would make maintaining the pages significantly more difficult. Also, referencing the Linux takes over. Since Android is now a part of the libux kernel,should thia be changed? It would definently put linux over the 50% mark. Mrmakeit (talk) 05:03, 4 April 2014 (UTC)

Pages can not become out of date, as they refrence the meening of the comic at the time of creation. 108.162.216.209 15:24, 10 December 2014 (UTC)

I would change the 2nd paragraph to say that the entirety of the search results are a super long set-up and "All your base..." is the punch-line. Smperron (talk) 08:46, 10 November 2014 (UTC)

I would correct the entry in 2014 that says that the Taliban are the organisation responsible for the September 11th attacks. The more accurate explanation would be that The US believed Al Qaeda (the real organisation responsible) were hiding out in Afghanistan and that defeating the Taliban, and bringing stability to the country was an important stepping stone towards finding Osama Bin Laden. Of course we now know he was in Pakistan all along, but still that was the original rationale for invading Afghanistan.--141.101.98.192 15:27, 15 December 2014 (UTC)

This further details stuff is wrong about the comic. The lines are just random answers to Google searches. There is no explanation. I move to remove this table, or convert it into links or summaries of the articles in the links. This sucks. It is good enough as it is now without the table (as the table is random and the explanations on the table are incorrect. 108.162.216.209 22:12, 15 December 2014 (UTC)

Let's get to work on the table then. I'm adding suitable references to incomplete sections to aid as jumping off points, from where further expansion can be done on a case-by-case basis. Can you provide some inspiration as to which explanations are most egregiously in need of correction? Pmw57 (talk) 01:44, 8 January 2015 (UTC)

As of 2014 I have noticed that a lot of US sites are moving from html to closed sources such as Adobe so the quote: "The prediction about GNU/Linux Operating Systems is ambiguous" is now fighting through government agencies. Users of Linux trying to access the volcano archive (once supplied by listserv using linux) now have to get access via Windows machines. This has to be the saddest computing news in a long time. Weatherlawyer (talk) 08:19, 4 January 2015 (UTC)

“The prediction about GNU/Linux Operating Systems is ambiguous, as Android (based on Linux) constitutes nearly 50% of the mobile OS market” — GNU/Linux refers to an operating system consisting of the GNU userland toolchain over the Linux kernel. Android is based on Linux but not GNU, therefore, it is irrelevant in GNU/Linux context. 108.162.230.107 11:18, 23 January 2015 (UTC)

Can we change this to Incomplete explanation of the month? Foldark (talk) 22:03, 28 March 2015 (UTC)

2145:War... War never changes (the Great War happens) 173.245.54.252 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Is it just my reading, or does it say "ACHEIVE" instead of "ACHIEVE" where it says something about 192 UN member nations achieving millennium development goals in the comic? (It's under 2015.) --172.68.55.70 21:45, 10 November 2016 (UTC)

No, it reads like this for me too. (Even on the original comic page, where I'd expect it to have been long fixed already.) --172.68.11.87 19:35, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

Some of these predictions seem very realistic. 162.158.59.172 00:22, 25 December 2016 (UTC) Jawa457

I am not sure if this needs to be added or not since it was not happening when the comic was produced and it is not the government doing it but a private tech company microchipping its employees in 2017 Google results since I do not know which news articles will disappear over time. 162.158.62.231 12:03, 17 August 2017 (UTC)

I think we can delete incomplete tag. -- -- 1337-PI (talk) 04:21, 26 February 2021 (UTC) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I feel it would have been funny, if a bit confusing, if the first few years numbers after 2037/2038 started referring to, e.g. 1970, 1971, before suddenly "Year 2038 bug finally exterminated". You know it's gonna happen... at least to some poor schmucks somewhere in the world.--Twisted Code (talk) 12:52, 22 November 2022 (UTC)

The link is bad

Here's a working one. 162.158.93.27 14:57, 22 December 2018 (UTC)


How do I add an Incomplete tag to the top? It's now 2024 so more stuff needs to be added. -- Danger Kitty (talk) 20:18, 1 February 2024 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

You just need the {{incomplete}} template.
e.g. {{incomplete|This page will need updating to account for facts known up until the start of 2024}}, but you might instead prefer a version that follows a comment format more of Created by THE 2024 EQUIVALENT OF A BOT - Needs to be updated to the current year. Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon. to blend in with the 'starter' version currently used and then tweaked... 172.70.90.92 21:12, 1 February 2024 (UTC)