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| Sitting in a Tree |
 Title text: First comes blood / Then we perish / Then comes Death in his Eternity Carriage. |
Explanation
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This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by a PAIR OF BOTS SITTING IN A TREE E-D-I-T-I-N-G - ♫First come comments, ♫Then these made neat, ♫But ONLY when it's accurate, then should you the tag delete!♫ |
“[Name] and [name], sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G” is the start of a common US schoolyard taunt to tease others about their alleged romance. As the comic notes, there are a range of normal seven-letter gerunds - nouns made by ending a verb in “ing" - that may be used in the rhyme.
Like other schoolyard taunts, the goal may be to elicit a reaction of frustration, anger or embarrassment. It may also just be chanted at a random set of two kids, such as part of a counting-out game.
This comic lists a variety of seven-letter gerunds which Cueball and Megan could be accused of performing in a tree, and organizes them into three categories: Normal, Slightly Worrying and Very Alarming. Each list of gerunds has an illustration of its last one: kissing, ironing and smiting, respectively.
Normal:
Slightly worrying:
- Sobbing is an act of crying or weeping, e.g. due to a setback in one's relationship.
- Itching is feeling a sensation on one's skin that makes one want to scratch or rub it, and may happen due to mosquito bites or other bugs.
- Pruning is cutting off the branches of a tree, which is very dangerous if one is sitting on said branch.[citation needed]
- Banking is conducting financial business with a bank.
- Posting is to publish posts on social media, which is probably what most teens do when they're together nowadays.[citation needed] This might also refer to mailing by using a postal service.
- Ironing is smoothing their clothes with an iron and ironing board. This is the activity illustrated in the panel.
Very alarming:
- Molting is shedding one's skin.
- Whaling is hunting whales, which has been outlawed since the 1980s. Whales aren't usually found in trees.[cetacean needed] And since the letter 'W' is three syllables when said aloud, this is the only gerund in the comic that doesn't have the standard seven syllables of the traditional taunt.
- E-filing, not to be confused with defiling, is submitting one's tax returns online. This comic was published a few days before the US tax deadline. This could quite reasonably be done from a tree using a laptop or other portable computing device.
- Melting is turning from a solid state to a liquid state, which is usually fatal.[citation needed]
- X-raying is emitting or receiving X-ray radiation. With enough radiation, the X-rays could be fatal.
- Smiting is striking down their enemies with the divine power called from a god. This is the activity illustrated in the panel.
The title text continues the S-M-I-T-I-N-G version of the chant with a parody of the traditional next verses, "...first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage" (which reflects the common social expectations that any kissers might follow the path of). Instead, the parody appears to be a dark prophecy about the grim ramifications of smiting conducted by the taunted kids:
- blood
- the mass expiry of the taunt singers
- the vehicular arrival of a personified Death.
It would be alarming, indeed, for schoolkids to be singing so jauntily about two peers divinely striking them to death from a tree.[citation needed]
The last line may be an allusion to the Emily Dickinson poem "Because I Could Not Stop For Death", which refers both to Death riding in a carriage and to eternity. The comic was posted in April, National Poetry Month.
Coincidentally, the combination of "Death" from the title text and "E-Filing" is similar to the "Death and Taxes" idiom.
Transcript
- [Three children are singing. A kid with a bowl cut and a young Hairy are pointing with their fingers, while Jill stands in the middle. A pair of connected eighth notes and a detached eighth note are shown.]
- Kid with a bowl cut, Jill and Hairy: [Name] and [Name], sitting in a tree...
- [Label above the panel:]
- Normal
- [Cueball and Megan are sitting on a tree branch holding hands and kissing, with a heart above them.]
- R-E-A-D-I-N-G
- S-I-N-G-I-N-G
- P-L-A-Y-I-N-G
- S-H-A-R-I-N-G
- H-U-G-G-I-N-G
- K-I-S-S-I-N-G
- [Label above the panel:]
- Slightly worrying
- [Cueball and Megan are sitting on a tree branch each ironing a cloth on an ironing board, with steam arising from the irons.]
- S-O-B-B-I-N-G
- I-T-C-H-I-N-G
- P-R-U-N-I-N-G
- B-A-N-K-I-N-G
- P-O-S-T-I-N-G
- I-R-O-N-I-N-G
- [Label above the panel:]
- Very alarming
- [Cueball and Megan, her hair being uncharacteristically wild, sitting on a tree branch smiting with glowing hands, with two falling fireballs and fire below them. Cueball's hands are raised up, while Megan has her left hand up and her right hand pointing to her right.]
- M-O-L-T-I-N-G
- W-H-A-L-I-N-G
- E-F-I-L-I-N-G
- M-E-L-T-I-N-G
- X-R-A-Y-I-N-G
- S-M-I-T-I-N-G
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