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Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Morning News
Support your local paper, unless it's just been bought by some sinister hedge fund or something, which it probably has.
Title text: Support your local paper, unless it's just been bought by some sinister hedge fund or something, which it probably has.


Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by a MOTHERFUCKING T-REX - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.

Megan is complaining to Hairbun about her easy access to infuriating national news stories (these may actually be only headlines, in this context) and bad opinions (editorial headlines, editorial articles, & commentary) and worries that it may be having a negative effect on her, either by promoting misinformation, by distraction, or by prompting adverse emotional reaction to content.

Hairbun sarcastically tells Megan that things were different in her time, then states that access to infuriating stories via newspapers required only a tiny bit more time during a morning routine.

Megan counters this idea and says that while it is true that newspapers provided the sort of national news she is being provoked by, they also had much more local news mixed in (which may be of a lighter nature, sometimes referred to in a derogatory sense as "fluff" news pieces), to which Haribun agrees.

Megan also raises the point that bad opinions were not granted wide distribution. Hairbun is rather less quick to agree to this, and suspiciously suggests that Megan not check that.

The title text is a reference to the fact that many seemingly independent local newspapers are owned by one of a small handful of large corporations, such as New Media and Gannett, a little-known fact that many may find disconcerting.


Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.
[Megan, looking on a smartphone in her hand, and Hairbun are standing together and talk.]
Megan: Every morning, before my eyes even focus all the way, I read a bunch of infuriating national news stories and bad opinions. I wonder what this is doing to my brain.
Megan: It's probably not great.
[Zoom in to the head of Hairbun.]
Hairbun: Back in my day, we had to pay people to print out infuriating news stories and bring them to our door. And we waited until we had stumbled out to the kitchen to read them.
Hairbun: Totally different.
[Frameless panel, zoom out on both while Megan has lowered her hand holding the phone.]
Megan: OK, fair. But newspapers at least had more local news mixed in, right?
Hairbun: Yeah, true.
[Same as last panel, except it has a border]
Megan: I bet they weren't full of bad opinions.
Hairbun: Yyyyyes.
Hairbun: All our opinions were good. It was a remarkable time.
Hairbun: Please don't go check.

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