explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:1765: Baby Post

2016-11-30T23:16:03Z

108.162.216.67:

Somebody doesn't know young children very well. Or the amount of time they spend watching old movies. I know a couple of four year olds who might just do this after catching a rerun of one of the Pink Panther movies. Get away with it, though, is something entirely different.[[User:Seebert|Seebert]] ([[User talk:Seebert|talk]]) 14:35, 28 November 2016 (UTC)

Check the header, new shirts! [[User:Jacky720|Jacky720]] ([[User talk:Jacky720|talk]]) 15:01, 28 November 2016 (UTC)

If the cell phone or tablet is set to remember passwords, it's not impossible to a children to buy a ticket to london or even call an uber. [[User:Wrojr|Wrojr]] ([[User talk:Wrojr|talk]]) 15:24, 28 November 2016 (UTC)

This cartoon would be funnier if it didn't imply there were years (or decades) between the first and last frames. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.239.32|198.41.239.32]] 21:35, 28 November 2016 (UTC)
:It doesn't, what makes you say that? [[User:Jacky720|Jacky720]] ([[User talk:Jacky720|talk]]) 21:47, 28 November 2016 (UTC)

;Wrong use of plurals?

Shouldn't this be Crown Jewels Rooms? Beside which, how can one jewel be in more than one room? [[User:Bitsofstring|Bitsofstring]] ([[User talk:Bitsofstring|talk]]) 15:54, 28 November 2016 (UTC)
:I'm pretty sure that Ponytail just doesn't care about pluralizing in this informal context. [[User:Jacky720|Jacky720]] ([[User talk:Jacky720|talk]]) 16:05, 28 November 2016 (UTC)
I'm not sure if there's anything wrong with saying "crown jewel rooms". As an analogy, if you had several rooms for your trophies, you'd say "these are my trophy rooms" (ie. my rooms for trophies) even though, presumably, you have more than one trophy. The only part that makes me a bit hesitant is that they are called the "crown jewels". But "crown jewels rooms" sounds really awkward to me. {{unsigned ip|141.101.98.248}}

There is also the puzzle of using blueprints to describe a room's security plan. But it might just be simplified to put into a strip. 18:15, 28 November 2016 (UTC)

Feels like the baby might be related to {{w|Stewie Griffin|Stewie}} from Family Guy... --[[User:IByte|IByte]] ([[User talk:IByte|talk]]) 10:00, 29 November 2016 (UTC)

Is Fhfff''m supposed to be something? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.69.142|162.158.69.142]] 14:29, 29 November 2016 (UTC)

Does anybody else think that "FHFF,,,M,,,," is supposed to be some sort of code? Like his daughter was sending a secret message as part of the heist or something? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.67|108.162.216.67]] 23:16, 30 November 2016 (UTC)

Talk:1730: Starshade

2016-09-07T18:17:56Z

108.162.216.67:

I would like to note that in the last frame the microphone booms on the headsets are on the right side, rather than on the left, which would have been more common. [http://ux.stackexchange.com/questions/60749/why-most-of-the-microphones-are-placed-on-the-left-of-headsets-headphones Stackexchange discussion]
:Wauw that is not important here ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:24, 7 September 2016 (UTC)

Is this comic sexist? [[Special:Contributions/198.41.239.34|198.41.239.34]] 10:28, 7 September 2016 (UTC)
:Umh, NO!? --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:24, 7 September 2016 (UTC)
::It passes the Bechdel Test, for whatever that's worth. Two women talking about astronomy!

Does "kickstart" refer to {{w|Kickstarter}}? --[[User:JakubNarebski|JakubNarebski]] ([[User talk:JakubNarebski|talk]]) 14:15, 7 September 2016 (UTC)

: Pretty clearly, but it might be good to make that explicit, and point out that either there is no such [https://www.kickstarter.com/signup?context=new_project&then=%2Fprojects%2Fnew%3Futf8%3D%25E2%259C%2593%26project%255Bcategory_id%255D%3D16%26project%255Bname%255D%3DWebb%2BStarshade%26project%255Bcountry%255D%3DUS%26commit%3DSave%2Band%2Bcontinue Kickstarter] project yet, or (less likely) link to the project.
: —[[User:FlashSheridan|FlashSheridan]] ([[User talk:FlashSheridan|talk]]) 14:59, 7 September 2016 (UTC)

May be related to 975: Occulting Telescope (https://xkcd.com/975/).
[[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.120|108.162.245.120]] 17:08, 7 September 2016 (UTC)

The reaction in the last panel seems rather extreme. I wonder if perhaps this was a custom starshade resembling the final image at the bottom of this page: https://what-if.xkcd.com/136/ [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.67|108.162.216.67]]siliconwolf

Talk:1720: Horses

2016-08-15T15:28:39Z

108.162.216.67:

Except, no one really worries about drunk drivers driving into a tree. If that happens, I'd say its all good, servers them right... The real problem is drunk drivers running into other drivers, pedestrians, property, etc. And even back in the days of horses and carriages, when forced to go at full gallop the horses would not be able to prevent such mistakes. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.210.238|162.158.210.238]] 13:22, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

<nowiki>Uh, no. That's not how it works at all. If that was the case nobody would have shown up to my dad's funeral. People should worry about drunk drivers hitting anything, and more importantly be worried about them getting behind the wheel in the first place. Fuck you for saying it serves him right, lets see how you feel when your family member dies because of a reckless accident.</nowiki>

A horse is a low tech version of KARR. Surely we want a KITT?
[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.49|141.101.98.49]] 14:04, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

"A badly-driven horse can toss-off its owner"... *fnar fnar*. Perhaps "throw off" or "buck" would mesh less easily with the remnants of immature adolescent brain that I still possess? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.75|141.101.98.75]] 14:12, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

Alert: your car has noticed a wolf. Initiating auto-ejection procedure. Notice: your car has driven over a rattlesnake. Initiating horn honking and spinning out. WARNING: your car has drawn the attention of a pickup of the opposite sex. Program Sexy-fun-times is now running. Sux to be you. ~~ Siliconwolf

Talk:1660: Captain Speaking

2016-04-09T17:54:02Z

108.162.216.67:

Actually captain falling asleep wouldn't be unlikely or problem because there may still be two OTHER people in cabin. But yes, first method to find out where they are going would be to ask those other people in cabin. Next, you should be able to get something from the instruments in cabin - I suspect that modern planes DO have some sort of navigation map there. Failing that, asking tower for flight plan would be not only preferable to trying FlightAware, but you could likely do it without raising TOO much suspicious, pretending you just need some detail.
And, yes: captain (or pilot in general) is only needed for pre-flight checks, take-off, landing - and if something unexpected happens, including some extremely bad weather. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 14:53, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Yeah it was badly phrased, pilots do fall asleep from time to time. Some long flights may even have two flight crews, so the pilots can get some shut-eye. It varies, but there is '''never''' only one person alone in the cabin as you say, if the co-pilot has to go to the toilet a flight attendant takes his place. As for positioning, older planes have instruments for that too, but they are far less sophisticated, might even require a map and a pencil :-) --[[User:Todor|Todor]] ([[User talk:Todor|talk]]) 15:59, 25 March 2016 (UTC)
:Not entirely true; I've been on many [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britten-Norman_Trislander short commercial flights] (20-30 minutes) with one crew. The seat next to the pilot is often a passenger seat - when I sat there, the pilot gave me biscuits... [[User:Cosmogoblin|Cosmogoblin]] ([[User talk:Cosmogoblin|talk]]) 19:04, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Just noting, the discussion shows up on main again. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.56.5|162.158.56.5]] 16:00, 25 March 2016 (UTC)
:On the main comic page, or on the wiki's main page? It doesn't show up on the wiki's main page for me (and never did). [[Special:Contributions/162.158.180.191|162.158.180.191]] 14:59, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
::Yes and it is supposed to show up at the bottom of every explanation to guide people to the discussion pages even though they are not used to using those on the regular Wikipedia. So it was probably as it should be already when the note was made on the release day. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 13:05, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

On one of the few flights I got to sit in first class, the flight attendant started to welcome us passengers. She said "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to..." then stopped. I was sitting in 1B so she said to me, "can I see your ticket?" I gave it to her and she completed the announcement. After she finished, I said quietly "forgot our flight number and where we're going, right?" She kind of sheepishly nodded. :-) I don't blame her though. She doesn't care about the flight number or where we're headed, and with all the flights they have to make, I'd probably forget once in a while too. [[User:Gbisaga|Gbisaga]] ([[User talk:Gbisaga|talk]]) 19:16, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Maybe we ought to split scenario 2 into two parts? One with the futuristic auto-pilot handling everything, and a second explanation where the co-pilot took off? It occurred to me if the sleeping captain would not wake from the extreme acceleration, the radio-chatter during pre-flight and other cabin noises, he would be sleeping very heavily indeed. This might also help explain why he awakes in such a confused state. --[[User:Todor|Todor]] ([[User talk:Todor|talk]]) 14:55, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

The whole Alex Caviel story reminds me of ''Irony of Fate''. Well, of how it starts out, anyway. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.180.191|162.158.180.191]] 14:59, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

;FlyDubai crash and more
:This comic may be in reference to the FlyDubai crash that happened on March 19th, 2016. The flight crew was supposedly severely fatigued. The aircraft that crashed also happened to be a Boeing aircraft similar to the one pictured. FlyDubai is a low cost carrier and they have been stretching their pilots as far as they can, and they apparently found the breaking point. In the US I know we have very strict duty periods for our pilots see FAR §121.473 (see below "Part 121 link"). So I wouldn't worry about flying in the US.
:As for each line of text after:
:The flight number is probably written down somewhere in the pilots flight notes, so i wouldn't be too hard for them to figure that out. After all they could end up doing multiple flights a day, it could be easy to forget the flight number normally. In Glass cockpits i would imagine the flight number is in the system.
:The line about FlightAware, is in reference to the Website/App that shows all aircraft IFR flight plans (unless they pay to hide it). Thus a commercial airliner would show up on the site. It is odd that they would even need FlightAware, because in any aircraft that is new enough to have WiFi there would be a glass cockpit. Glass cockpits are set up before each flight to have the whole route programmed into the system. Which would be generally the same information as on FlightAware, since FlightAware gets the same flight plan that the pilots file with Air traffic Control. The only reason it's not exactly the same is because the pilots could put whatever they want into the flight computer, and may be planning to ask ATC to cut some corners later-on in the flight (which is normal).
:Also on a side note: every Commercial Airline flight must be able to fly IFR (also in FAR Part 121 somewhere), which means the aircraft probably has GPS and at a minimum Radio Navigation systems (RNAV). This means that the pilots should always be able to find out where they are, but not where they are going. Also the pilot could just ask ATC or the Dispatcher who is assigned that flight#.
:In regards to capability of Autopilots, each aircraft can have a different level of auto pilot from one that can only hold a heading to one that can fly pretty much every minute of the flight. Auto pilots on some of the larger newer planes have an auto land feature usable on CATIII(a,b,c) approaches. However Auto pilots cant talk to ATC or avoid inclement weather (to my knowledge).
:Part 121 link: http://www.ecfr.gov/cgi-bin/text-idx?SID=5da31e85f0917eb260f691f628d67096&mc=true&node=pt14.3.121&rgn=div5#se14.3.121_1473
:AJ (Airline Employee/Private pilot (not an expert)) 3/25/16 2005Z {{unsigned ip|108.162.221.27}}
::Yes the 777 is able to land on autopilot. Father was a 777 pilot and landed in foggy conditions with autopilot when he himself could not see the runway until the wheels touched. sidenote, I believe there is auto throttle for takeoff. {{unsigned ip|108.162.221.27}}
::Yeah as AJ mentioned but was somewhat vague about is that even the old 737's have the auto-land system (might have been retro-fitted to conform with newer regulations?), however ''not every airport'' support this system, meaning you can't land there on auto-pilot. Also since the auto-pilot, no matter how good, can't handle unforeseen incidents, you still very much need a human pilot. The comic suggests the auto-pilot handles just about everything including events not directly related to flight, which is not the case as of today. --[[User:Todor|Todor]] ([[User talk:Todor|talk]]) 14:15, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
::Huge comments like the above are why I added a "add topic" button to the discussion template. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 07:01, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
:::I have made such a topic for this, and also moved the comment on 777 down beloe instead on in the mid of this huge comment. I also moved the comment below again down from being posted at the top after Mikemk's comment here above. Hope it will make it possible to read the comments as they are in order of posting.--[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 13:37, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
----
Maybe the captain is in a fugue state? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.64|173.245.54.64]]

Would explain the pilot's confused state, but someone would still have to take-off the plane anyway. It can't do so by itself. --[[User:Todor|Todor]] ([[User talk:Todor|talk]]) 23:26, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
:Fugue states frequently end suddenly, apropos of nothing, and leave the victim unaware of what has happened for the past while, sometimes years. Maybe he wasn't a pilot before? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.64|173.245.54.64]]
;4U9525 - Does Munroe have bad timing or bad taste?

Is it just coincidence that this comic was published one year and one day after co-pilot Andreas Lubitz deliberately crashed 4U9525 killing 150 people? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germanwings_Flight_9525
:I think Randall Munroe is usually to aware of such things to excuse this as just a mishap. This seems to be a tasteless joke on the lines of: "Lol, maybe the pilot was just hung over. Rofl" [[Special:Contributions/198.41.243.244|198.41.243.244]] 15:53, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
::I think you're reaching more than a bit there. The idea of someone being in charge of a plane who doesn't know how to fly it is a common enough theme in pop culture that such a reference does not necessarily have anything to do with that sad event. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.64|173.245.54.64]]
:::I do not think Randall published this on account of the anniversary of that event, but I do think it is relevant so it could be put up in the examples under the trivia. Because as opposed to what has been claimed, then for that particular plane the pilot - who did intentionally crash the plane - was left alone in the cockpit and was thus able to lock out the other pilot. The security that should enable them to keep out terrorist then helped him keep out the crew until he had finished his deed. But obviously the pilot in this comic has not evil intentions, but one might fear he will not be able to land the plane, but not crash it on purpose. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:41, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure you have to punch the flight number in the plane's onboard computer prior to takeoff. Might be wrong though [[Special:Contributions/162.158.85.69|162.158.85.69]] 19:36, 27 March 2016 (UTC)

A Boeing 787 can easily fly an entire flight (except takeoff) on autopilot. I think this comic is making fun of the job of modern airline pilot, assuming they just take a nap right after takeoff, with no concern about the progress of the flight until they land. This comic seems to have one of these pilots who has stuck to the tradition of updating the passengers on flight status, even though he really has no idea what that status is.
[[User:Hubbard|Hubbard]] ([[User talk:Hubbard|talk]]) 01:53, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

;Options
Thumbs up for the possible causes, good read. Sadly the pilot falling asleep is a regular problem on flights... [[Special:Contributions/162.158.87.35|162.158.87.35]]

Two comments.... my brief stint in aircraft software lead me to understand (at least for the aircraft I was working on) that you could drug a pilot, load him aboard an aircraft, and as long as the route was properly loaded into the flight systems you could wake the pilot mid flight and the plane would let him know in moments where the plane was, what its destination was, and have at hand all the radio frequencies, charts, etc needed for safely landing at the destination - that's probably not how it is for all aircraft. Second, this reminded me somewhat of Varig Flight 254 where the pilots took a wrong turn and found themselves over a jungle and short on fuel [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.67|108.162.216.67]] 17:54, 9 April 2016 (UTC)

575: Tag Combination

2016-04-07T12:00:41Z

108.162.216.67: Incorrect statements removed for clarity

{{comic
| number = 575
| date = April 29, 2009
| title = Tag Combination
| image = tag combination.png
| titletext = I love Eileen / and want you to love her / When you're around / I'm one floor above her / If you could see / just how much I adore her / Oh, that pretty red dress / I'd do anything for her / (Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ayy)
}}

==Explanation==

Song tags are a form of file {{w|metadata}} used to categorize music. Tags will typically describe the content and genre of the song, and many music organization programs and services will allow users to find all songs that contain a particular tag; so when a user searches for "Country breakup music," they will receive a list of {{w|Country music|country}} songs about breaking up.

In this comic, [[Cueball]] tests [[Megan]]'s claim that she can make a song name for any set of tags by coming up with a collection of mostly unrelated words: "{{w|lesbian}} {{w|voyeurism}} {{w|one-hit wonder}} {{w|Mashup (music)|mash-up|}}." A {{w|lesbian}} is a woman who is only sexually interested in other women. {{w|Voyeurism}} is the act of watching someone else do something sexual, generally without their knowledge. A {{w|one-hit wonder}} is a band that had "one big hit" before fading from the public eye forever. A {{w|Mashup (music)|mash-up}} is when someone takes two previously unrelated songs and makes a third song that's a mix of both of them (a recent example of which would be [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82LCKBdjywQ this Gangam Style/Ghostbusters theme mashup]). In response, Megan almost immediately replies with two song titles that look like they would fit the tags well.

Megan's first title, "I Wish That Stacy's Mom Had Jessie's Girl" is a ''mash-up'' of {{w|Jessie's Girl|"Jessie's Girl"}} by {{w|Rick Springfield}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYkbTyHXwbs video] on youtube) , and {{w|Stacy's Mom|"Stacy's Mom"}} by {{w|Fountains of Wayne}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4 video] on youtube), the latter was a ''one-hit-wonders'', whereas Springfield has had several other hits. (The song Stacy's Mom was referenced in comic [[61: Stacey's Dad]]).

The second title, "When You Come on Eileen I Touch Myself" is a ''mash-up'' of {{w|Come On Eileen|"Come on Eileen"}} by {{w|Dexys Midnight Runners}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVxcwe7EcaY video] on youtube), and {{w|I Touch Myself|"I Touch Myself"}} by {{w|Divinyls}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-34w8kGPM video] on youtube). Both of these are one-hit wonders (and can both be found on [http://afrokayo.web.fc2.com/mdata_vh1_greatest_onehit_wonders.html this list] of such songs). Note that "Come on, Eileen" means "Hurry up, Eileen", and that "to come on someone" means to ejaculate on someone.

===Tags===
*Lesbian: Here "had" means "had sex with". The two women having sex are Stacy's mom and Jessie's Girl
*Voyeurism:
**Someone wishes the two women had each other (so they could be looked upon)
**"When You Come on Eileen I Touch Myself", i.e. the voyeur looks at someone who actually comes on Eileen while they are having sex.
*One-hit wonder: "Stacy's Mom", "Come on Eileen" and "I Touch Myself"
*Mash-up: Both verses are mash-ups of two other song titles.

===Title text===
The title text is a set of potential lyrics to Megan's second title. [[Randall]] borrowed the rhyme scheme, phrasing, and subject matter from the first eight {{w|stanzas}} of "I Touch Myself" with additional subject matter inspired by "Come on Eileen." The final stanza is the chorus lead-in from the latter.

The subject is now changed so instead of a guy being smitten with a girl, so much he touches himself when he thinks about it, it has now changed to a lesbian woman is in the apartment above when he or she loves Eileen (which she wants them to do) and she probably touches herself when this happens as per the title of this mash-up.

Here are the lyrics for [http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-touch-myself-lyrics-the-divinyls.html I Touch Myself] and [http://www.metrolyrics.com/come-on-eileen-lyrics-dexys-midnight-runners.html Come on Eileen]. Below in the table the mashed up lines are shown. As can be seen most of the text is from "I Touch Myself":

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Mashed up line
! Line from "I Touch Myself"
! Line from "Come On Eileen"
|-
| I love Eileen
| '''I love''' myself (1st line).
| Come on '''Eileen''' (1st line).
|-
| and want you to love her
| I '''want you to love''' me (2nd part of 1st line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| When you're around
| '''When you're around''' (11th line).
| No line.
|-
| I'm one floor above her
| '''I''' want you '''above''' me (2nd line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| If you could see
| A fool '''could see''' (15th line).
| No line.
|-
| just how much I adore her
| '''just how much I adore''' you (2nd part of previous line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| Oh, that pretty red dress
| There are many '''Oh''' in this song, but also in the other.
| '''That pretty red dress''' (30th line).
|-
| I'd do anything for her
| '''I'd do anything for''' you (16th line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| (Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ayy)
| No line.
| '''(Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ayy)''' (11th line).
|}

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: So you can come up with a song title fitting any tag combination?
:Megan: Try me.

:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: Lesbian voyeurism one-hit wonder mash-up.
:Megan: "I wish that Stacey's Mom had Jessie's Girl."

:[Cueball and Megan are just standing there for a beat panel.]

:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: Well, that was one, but-
:Megan: "When you Come On Eileen I touch myself."
:Cueball: Okay, wow.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Homosexuality]]

697: Tensile vs. Shear Strength

2016-04-01T19:30:11Z

108.162.216.67: typo

{{comic
| number = 697
| date = February 3, 2010
| title = Tensile vs. Shear Strength
| image = tensile_vs_shear_strength.png
| titletext = Although really, the damage was done when the party planners took the hole punch to the elevator ribbon to hang up the sign.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Much more information on space elevators needed}}
Tensile strength represents how hard you can pull on something without it breaking. Shear strength represents how hard you can try to cut it without it breaking. Many materials have great tensile strength but low shear strength (such as dental floss — try to break it by just pulling on two ends), including whatever this space elevator is made of. The material clearly has extremely high tensile strength because it can hold the elevator in place, with one end on the ground and one in space, but it can be cut with a simple pair of pruning shears. This also highlights the fact that "shear strength" and "shears" are etymologically related.

A {{w|space elevator}} is a proposed construction that would make space travel easier. It consists of a long string attached to the Earth (near equator) on one end and a counterweight (beyond the {{w|geostationary orbit}}) on the other end, kept taut and in one place by the gravity and centrifugal forces. This would make it possible to carry spacecraft into the orbit by simple mechanical means, as opposed to requiring the use of rockets as is the case nowadays, saving lot of energy and resources.

The title text makes the point that even before [[Black Hat]] cut the space elevator's cable in two, it was ruined by the holes in it for the banner. The holes would reduce the surface area of the cross section of the pole, dwarfing its ability to keep the elevator attached to the ground. The flag and holes would also potentially make it impossible for the elevator to travel up the pole, making the entire elevator useless.

==Transcript==
:[A space elevator occupies the height of the frame, consisting of a base, a cable extending out into space, and an elevator unit with standard elevator features such as sliding doors and up/down buttons. A banner flutters in the breeze attached to the cable going up above the elevator there is text on the banner. Text appear in four lines split across the elevator cable itself, the rhyming portions of the text is on the right side of the cable. Five individuals stand at the base of the elevator. To the left are Megan, a Cueball-like guy, with his arms up, and Ponytail who has recently opened a bottle of champagne holding it up while spilling some of the liquid out the top of the bottle because she holds it and her other arm up. To the right is Black Hat, who cuts the cable with a pruning shear like it was part of the ceremony as a ribbon cutting. Finally further right is Cueball who sees what Black Hat is doing. He is very alarmed holding a hand to his mouth while holding the other out towards Black Hat.]

:Banner: Space Elevator
:Banner: Grand opening
::{|
|-
|style="text-align:right;"|After countless
|style="text-align:left;"|engineers
|-
|style="text-align:right;"|spend trillions over
|style="text-align:left;"|fifty years,
|-
|style="text-align:right;"|a modern babel
|style="text-align:left;"|disappears
|-
|style="text-align:right;"|because some fuck brought
|style="text-align:left;"|pruning shears
|}
:Pruning shears: ''Snip''
:Cueball: ''!!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Elevators]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Science]]

269: TCMP

2016-04-01T19:28:29Z

108.162.216.67: Removed incomplete marker. Everything suggested as missing has been included. Explanation feels complete. Also fixed some typos.

{{comic
| number = 269
| date = May 28, 2007
| title = TCMP
| image = tcmp.png
| titletext = A big obstacle in experimenting with the mind's dream-simulation-engine is holding onto the details as you wake up. With TCMP you can bring back any information you want.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]] trained himself to type while asleep, so he could communicate from inside his dreams. He calls this ''Trans-Consciousness Messaging Protocol'', or '''TCMP'''.

He succeeds in using this system to send a message from inside his dream, but his friends, [[Megan]] and another Cueball-like guy, are disappointed when that first message is a {{w|troll (Internet)|trollish}} "F1rst p0st!!", instead of something constructive. This cliche comment is typed by people on the internet after they discover a previously not commented post or creation, such as this experience. Most social media sites display comments in chronological order so that the oldest comments are at the top and the newest are at the bottom. Most people only read the topmost posts, thus giving [[Cueball]]'s post the most views. See also [[1019: First Post]] and [[1258: First]] and regarding trolling [[493: Actuarial]].

"Bell & Watson" refers to {{w|Alexander Graham Bell}} and his assistant {{w|Thomas A. Watson}}. Bell is traditionally credited with inventing the {{w|telephone}} because he was awarded the patent for it although {{w|Elisha Gray and Alexander Bell telephone controversy|that is still controversial}}. His first phone call was to Watson in another part of their lab.

The title text explains how this protocol, if real, would be of great value in dream research since you then would not have to worry about forgetting the dreams after waking up like as in [[430: Every Damn Morning]]. You can relay the dreams as you experience them.

However, in order for this to work the dream has to be {{w|Lucid dream|lucid}}, where the dreamer is aware that he or she is dreaming. This type of dream is very facinating to [[Randall]] as mentioned in the title text of [[203: Hallucinations]]. But thus this could never work for normal dreams. And lucid dreams are probably easier to remember anyway.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stand with a keyboard next to a bed. The keyboard is connected with a wire to a computer on a desk to the right. He talks to Megan and a Cueball-like friend.]
:Cueball: Hey, help me test the Trans-Consciousness Messaging Protocol.
:Friend: What's that?
:Cueball: I've been training myself to keep my fingers moving slightly as I fall asleep. So I can type from inside dreams.

:[Cueball sits with the keyboard on the bed.]
:Cueball: I'm going to sleep now. My computer will relay my messages to you as I explore the dream world.

:[Cueball stand with the keyboard in a forrest with tall trees. The leaves are not visible, they are above the top of the drawing. At the top there is a frame with text:]
:In the dream:
:Cueball (thinking): So strange to think none of this is real.
:Cueball (thinking): And yet I have this lifeline to the internet back home.

:[Cueball places the keyboard on a stone, bends down and types.]
:Cueball (thinking): A chance to speak from one reality to another.
:Cueball (thinking): I feel like Bell & Watson. I get to write the inaugural TCMP message.
:Cueball (thinking): Let's see...
:Keyboard: *Type type type*

:[Megan at the computer and the Cueball-like friend behind her looks at his message from the dream. At the top there is a frame with text:]
:Outside:
:Megan: "F1rst P0st!!"?
:Friend: Great. He's jumped straight to trans-reality trolling.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Dreams]]

225: Open Source

2016-04-01T19:26:07Z

108.162.216.67: Added a bit on Nader

{{comic
| number = 225
| date = February 19, 2007
| title = Open Source
| image = open source.png
| titletext = Later we'll dress up like Big Oil thugs and jump Ralph Nader.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Any theater play etc. that Stallman is citing or rewording in his speak, liek the new dawn. And any clear references for new dawn?}}
{{w|Richard Stallman}}, or ''rms'' after his handle, is an old-school hacker known these days primarily for establishing the {{w|Free Software Foundation}} and initiating the {{w|GNU Project}} in the early 1980s, which produced major portions of what would later be the {{w|Linux|GNU/Linux}} operating system. In this capacity, he's also known for being one of the most ardent and outspoken proponents of {{w|free software}}, sometimes called {{w|open source software}}. In fact, his advocacy is so emphatic and polemical that he has garnered active dislike from traditionalists who believe that software {{w|source code}} should be retained as a trade secret by its developer(s). Stallman has expressed that he did not even wish to be in a comic using the word '''Open Source''', see the [[#Trivia|trivia]] section.

While this dislike may not rise to the level of hiring {{w|ninja}} assassins to remove him from the world, it is strong. The joke of the comic, as it also turns out, is that the two ninjas was just out to have a fun time teasing Stallman, and they seemed to know that Stallmans paranoia about {{w|Microsoft}} makes him sleep with no less than two {{w|katana}} swords near his bed. This type of swords were one of the traditionally made Japanese swords that were used by the {{w|samurai}} of feudal Japan. A ninja was a covert agent or mercenary in feudal Japan. Their covert methods of waging irregular warfare were deemed "dishonorable" and "beneath" the samurai-caste, who observed strict rules about honor and combat. So this makes sense in this comic with Stallman the samurai and the ninjas the lackeys of the oppressing Microsoft (at least in his mind). It also turns out that they specifically chooses a target for their raids that have reason to be paranoid of come larger companies that might send someone after them, and thus sleeps with weapons near their bed. Stallman has received a Katana due to this comic, see the [[#Trivia|trivia]] section.

{{w|GPL}} refers to the 'GNU General Public License', which is a copyright license written by the FSF that covers much GNU software and plenty of other free software besides. It stipulates that software so copyrighted must always be provided along with full source code, and that everyone in possession of such software is free to use, study, modify, and redistribute it for any purpose whatsoever (including sale or resale) provided they give due credit to any other contributing developers, also provide access to the complete source code, and retain all copyright notices.

Legally, this gives all users of such software exactly the same rights under copyright as the developer(s), and prevents any developers from ever taking away those rights from users, which is the defining feature of '{{w|Free software#Definition|free-as-in-libre}}' software. It also has the effect of making all software ''derived'' from GPL software thereby also GPL, even if 'derived' merely means 'borrowed a few lines of code from'. Some (e.g. Microsoft's {{w|Steve Ballmer}}) have therefore argued that this makes GPL software behave as a kind of {{w|viral license|'license virus'}}, which spreads GPL-guaranteed freedoms to any software used in close conjunction with GPL'd software during development, such that businesses should actively avoid adopting {{w|FOSS|free and open source software}}, so as not to jeopardize software developers' legal standing with regard to {{w|proprietary software|proprietary IP copyright}}s.

During the attack Richard Stallman begins to speak like he quotes an old play. For instance the wording "For a GNU dawn!" is pronounced "For a g'new dawn!", following the pronunciation of {{w|GNU}}, so it is a version of ''New Dawn'', a sentence used often in fiction. He even gets annoyed when it turns out the ninjas just run away, he had clearly waited a long time to, even looking forward to, defending him self with his katanas.

Because as it turned out that the two "nijas" made a prank with him, and they realized that they had so much fun out of Stallman that they plan to do more of these nightly raids even mentioning two other possible future targets on their way out of the window:

{{w|Eric S. Raymond}} is a famous {{w|Hacker (programmer subculture)|hacker}} who wrote {{w|The Cathedral and the Bazaar}} and has been something of an unofficial spokesperson for open source as a {{w|Open-source software development|software development methodology}}. The plan to prank Eric Raymond could be a bad one since he is an experienced martial artist, swordsman, and firearm enthusiast. However, this seems to be the attraction of these two "nijas" as can be seen by what they seems to know about their other possible target:

{{w|Linus Torvalds}} is the creator of the {{w|Linux kernel}}, an free/open source operating system kernel inspired by the {{w|Unix}} kernel, which proved to be the final component that, combined with then pre-existing GNU system functions and {{w|userland}} components, produced the first fully free operating system, {{w|Linux}}. The plan to prank Torvalds would at first sound more boring as the mild-mannered Finn, while known to be strongly, abrasively opinionated, is otherwise mostly harmless. However, one of the nijas seems to now otherwise since it is rumored that Linus sleeps with {{w|nunchaku|nunchucks}} in the same way that Stallman sleeps with two katana swords. The ''nunchaku'' is a traditional Okinawan martial arts weapon consisting of two sticks connected at one end by a short chain or rope.

A third possible target of this prank is mentioned in the title text. {{w|Ralph Nader}} is a famous consumer rights advocate, most famous for the 1965 book {{w|Unsafe at Any Speed}} and for running for US President in 2000. Nader was an environmentalist, a member of the Green Party, and supported clean energy, thus he should naturally be opposed to the Big Oil companies.

==Transcript==
:[The first panel has the second panel inside it. It also has a slightly light gray background color. Just above the inlaid second panel is Richard Stallman lying in his bead sleeping, the bottom part at the foot of the bed is hidden behind the second panel below. Below his bed under his head lies a katana sword in it's sheath, and another one hangs in it's sheath behind the end of the bed. Two ninjas with black cloth around their heads and swords jump through the skylight smashing it so glass scatters around them. Each of them is hanging one handed from the same rope coming down from the skylight. The rope ends just above the inlaid frame below. The two ninjas shouts at Richard Stallman, from four speech bubbles which have pointy ends to indicate how the two alternately speaks. (These bubbles are white not gray).]
:Richard Stallman: ''Zzzz''
:Top Ninja: Richard Stallman! Your viral open source licenses have grown too powerful.
:Bottom Ninja: The GPL must be stopped.
:Top Ninja: At the source.
:Bottom Ninja: You.

:[In the second inlaid panel (with normal white background) Richard Stallman wakes up immediately, and while sitting up in bed he pulls out both his katana swords from their sheaths leaving the sheaths under and behind the bed. One hand is up in the air with the sword from behind the bed, and the other is still pointing down with the swords from below the bed. Lines indicate the fast movement of the swords. His three speech bubbles are like those of the ninjas, the last two even breaking the panel entering into the large first panel.]
:Katana swords: Shing! Shing!
:Richard Stallman: Hah! Microsoft lackeys! So it has come to this!
:Richard Stallman: A night of blood I've long awaited. But be this my death or yours, free software will carry on! For a GNU dawn! For freedom!
:Richard Stallman: ...Hey, where are you going?

:[An outside scene at night with black sky. Richard Stallmans gray house can be seen with the broken white skylight on the roof. The ninjas are jumping out of a window at ground height while taking of their ninja cloth around their heads, holding them in their hand, thus revealing they both looks like Cueball. The first one is already on the grassy ground beneath the window his sword pointing down and left, the other just jumps from the window pane his sword pointing up and right. Again they have speech bubbles like before. It is not possible to tell which of the two ninjas from before is first out the window.]
:Ninja in window: Man, you're right, that never gets old.
:Ninja on the grass: Let's do Eric S. Raymond next.
:Ninja in window: Or Linus Torvalds. I hear he sleeps with nunchucks.

==Trivia==
*The phrase "So it has come to this" is the title of [[1022: So It Has Come To This]].
*In [[1624: 2016]] [[Cueball]] smashes through the ceiling, also hanging on a rope, to wake a person in a bed. Not as a threat though, but still a very similar situation.
*Because of this comic Stallman has [http://blog.xkcd.com/2007/04/19/life-imitates-xkcd-part-ii-richard-stallman/ been given a katana] by fans of xkcd.
*At his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHp_Vh9TESU#t=1645 talk at JCCC3] (as well as in a note in ''[http://store-xkcd-com.myshopify.com/products/xkcd-volume-0 xkcd: Volume Zero]''), [[Randall]] mentioned that the comic he originally published had the assassins say "free software" and Richard Stallman says "open source software". He swapped the two terms after complaints that Richard Stallman was [https://www.gnu.org/philosophy/open-source-misses-the-point.html opposed to the phrase "open source"]. Even after this change he got an e-mail from Stallman himself saying that he didn't even want to be portrayed in the same comic as the words "open source".
*Stallman's well-known opposition to the term "open source" stems from the fact that "open source" refers specifically to a methodology for software development involving allowing customers to actively participate in development and testing of software products by giving them access to in-development source code and soliciting feedback; as such, the term was first adopted as a means to promote free software ideas to business interests. In contrast, Stallman and the FSF view free software as a political issue concerning the basic freedoms that should belong to all computer users, and thus 'open source' as an appeal to software businesses misses the point of getting individuals to think about their rights as users.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Richard Stallman]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Computers]]

603: Idiocracy

2016-04-01T16:59:17Z

108.162.216.67: Removed incomplete marker. Everything suggested as missing has been included. Explanation feels complete.

{{comic
| number = 603
| date = June 29, 2009
| title = Idiocracy
| image = idiocracy.png
| titletext = People aren't going to change, for better or for worse. Technology's going to be so cool. All in all, the future will be okay! Except climate; we fucked that one up.
}}

==Explanation==
The title of this comic is a reference to the dystopian comedy ''{{w|Idiocracy}}''. The film postulates that over about 500 years, society will suffer from a massive decrease in intellectual potential. This development is attributed to the fact that people with a lower IQ are believed to be more likely to reproduce thus more readily pass on their genes.

[[Cueball]] professes his approval for the theories represented in the film, and Domed Hat agrees with him, lamenting the gradual decay in intelligence and education. But in panel 3, Domed Hat suddenly reveals that all the "facts" he cited were wrong, and we learn that he doesn't support the dysgenic thesis at all. He turns to accuse Cueball of conceited self-righteousness (using religious zealots as an analogy), harshly condemning intelligence dysgenics as an excuse for feeling superior to the rest of society. Cueball's suggestion of {{w|Birth control movement in the United States|birth control}} for the unintelligent only furthers his attitude. Although it is not named, one thing at work here is the {{w|Dunning-Kruger effect}} — that stupid people don't realize they're stupid.

Domed Hat's punchline, playing on Cueball's birth control suggestion, is a direct insult: it would be better to reproduce with a stupid person than an elitist like Cueball.

It's pretty clear here that [[Randall]] is voicing his opinion through Domed Hat, and using Cueball as a straw man.

The title text reflects the opinion. It makes a few cheery comments on the future, but then finishes on a rather sour note about {{w|climate change}}.

In fact, a negative correlation between intelligence and fertility is disputed, see the wikipedia article on the accumulation of disadvantageous genes: {{w|dysgenics}}. And regardless of this the actual absolute IQs in modern societies have been rising, see {{w|Flynn effect}}. This can be paraphrased with the statement, that if the generation of our grandparents would take a today's IQ test, they would barely score an IQ of 70 and be at the limit of intellectual disability.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball looking at a DVD cover. White Hat stands next to him.]
:Cueball: ''Idiocracy'' is so true.
:White Hat: I know, right? It used to be that the intelligent, upper classes had more children.

:White Hat: Sadly, the recent reversal of this trend has dragged IQ scores and average education steadily downward.
:Cueball: Depressing, huh?

:White Hat: Yeah, except ''everything I just said was wrong.''
:Cueball: Huh?
:White Hat: Wrong. False. The opposite of true.

:White Hat: You're like the religious zealots who are ''burdened'' by their superiority with the sad duty of decrying the ''obvious'' moral decay of each new generation.
:White Hat: And you're just as wrong.
:Cueball: But look at how popular—
:White Hat: More harm has been done by people panicked over societal decline than societal decline ever did.

:Cueball: Look — all we need is a program that limits breeding to—
:[White Hat is walking off panel.]
:White Hat: New theory: Stupid people reproduce more because the alternative is sleeping with ''you.''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Biology]]

674: Natural Parenting

2014-06-05T00:20:16Z

108.162.216.67: /* Explanation */ http://xkcd.com/1090/

{{comic
| number = 674
| date = December 11, 2009
| title = Natural Parenting
| image = natural_parenting.png
| titletext = On one hand, every single one of my ancestors going back billions of years has managed to figure it out. On the other hand, that's the mother of all sampling biases.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This explain needs a rework on language. Too many guesses like diapers...}}
This comic relates to the anxiety most couples experience after having a child. Often people will advice new parents to do what comes naturally and trust their instincts. This offers little help to the new parents.

In this comic a couple finds themselves with a child. Both parents experience anxiety over how to manage their life with the child. The father, to defuse the situation states that parenting can not be that hard, and that they should do what comes naturally. Later the couple find them selves with a second child and still no idea about how to parent. Since the couple was attracted to each other enough to have a child in the first place, doing what comes naturally included having another child. Thus the "natural" instincts for breeding are strong, but the instincts for raising children properly are weak, incomplete, or non-existent.

The title text claims that parenting can't be too hard because historically everyone's grandparents must have figured it out since they produced a child that successfully bred. Randall jokes that this is the "mother" of all {{w|sampling bias}}es because his ancestors represent only the (possibly small) fraction who successfully raised children, instead of the entire sample of people attempting to raise children.

The baby says, "Baby!", either copying Cueball, or saying its name, Pokémon-style.

[[441: Babies]] is another strip featuring clueless new parents.

Natural parenting may be an allusion to {{w|attachment parenting}}. This strategy for child-rearing normally entails extended nursing and encourages positive reinforcement. Sometimes modern medicine and processed foods are restricted as well. Natural parenting approaches can vary greatly from parent to parent. Because of the awkwardness and stigma of breastfeeding as well as its traditionalism, attachment parenting can elicit powerful opinions from both its opponents and proponents. Various media and politicians have seized on this hot topic, as well as motherhood in general. Extreme natural parenting methods became the notorious cover story of TIME Magazine in May 2012.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are standing with a baby in between them.]
:Cueball: Oh man, we made a baby.
:Megan: ''Don't panic. Don't panic.''
:Baby: Baby!

:Cueball: Parenting can't be that hard. Let's just do what comes naturally.

:[Beat frame.]

:Soon:
:[There are now two babies in between them.]
:Megan: Aw, crap.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

Talk:1353: Heartbleed

2014-04-09T06:47:05Z

108.162.216.67:

I added a transcript, if I messed up on anything, I'm sorry! [[Special:Contributions/173.245.55.73|173.245.55.73]] 06:08, 9 April 2014 (UTC)
:Thanks for the transcript! (nothing seems messed up) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.88.206|141.101.88.206]] 06:41, 9 April 2014 (UTC)
::But wait! You forgot a comma! (It's okay, I fixed it :) ) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.67|108.162.216.67]] 06:47, 9 April 2014 (UTC)

The alt-text contains a reference to the scene "Tears in the rain" of Blade Runner [[Special:Contributions/173.245.49.90|173.245.49.90]] 06:19, 9 April 2014 (UTC)

Talk:762: Analogies

2014-02-02T07:57:40Z

108.162.216.67:

Surprised he said synecdoche instead of metonymy, which to me seems slightly more appropriate. What a terrible mess such devices are. I'm content memorizing 114 chemical symbols and the names and capitals of 196 generally recognized sovereign nations, but not the ~200 items on this {{w|Figure_of_speech#Categories_of_figures_of_speech|list of tropes and schemes}}. --[[User:Quicksilver|Quicksilver]] ([[User talk:Quicksilver|talk]]) 01:50, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
It seems highly likely that the opening lines of whether sandwich was a metaphor had to do with threesomes - i.e. a "sandwich" of a woman between two men. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.67|108.162.216.67]] 07:57, 2 February 2014 (UTC)

494: Secretary: Part 1

2014-01-12T19:49:56Z

108.162.216.67: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 494
| date = October 27, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 1
| image = secretary part 1.png
| titletext = The blueprints for the Department of the Internet offices call for Ceiling Cat-themed sprinkler heads.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|POTUS|President of the United States of America}} is the chief executive of the United States of America. The tubes being clogged is a reference to the, now deceased, Alaska Senator {{w|Ted Stevens}} who, during a congressional debate on {{w|net neutrality}} described the {{w|Internet}} as a {{w|series of tubes}} (be sure to listen to the audio clips in that Wikipedia page, and you'll see why he became a big hit with the Internet). Ted Stevens also gained notoriety for backing a proposal to build a {{w|Gravina Island Bridge|bridge to nowhere}} using federal funds. The question "What are they a-Twitter about now?" refers to the website Twitter, which is a microblogging and social networking site.

Cats are notorious for being hard to herd, thus the idiom "herding cats" meaning an extremely difficult task that can very quickly get away from anyone undertaking it. {{w|Lolcats}} are pictures of cats, usually in humorous poses, that have insipid captions on them. The conflation of lolcats and the herding idiom escaped the president (who is presumably somebody not savvy to either or both terms). The title text refers to {{w|Ceiling Cat}}, a lolcat parody of God.

As with cats, Bloggers are an ideologically diverse bunch, and are hard to get to go in a single direction.

The proposed "Secretary of the Internet" would likely be a new position on the President's {{w|Cabinet of the United States|Cabinet}}, which currently consists of the heads of 15 executive departments and are, with the one exception of the Attorney General (who heads the Department of Justice), titled "Secretary of ''Department''".

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

==Transcript==
:Spring 2009— The new president faces a crisis...
:[Cueball is talking to an unseen Mr. President, who is sitting behind a desk.]
:Cueball: Mr. President, the bloggers are restless.
:Mr. President: What are they a-twitter about now?

:Cueball: It's the tubes sir. They're clogged. We put too much stuff on them.

:Mr. President: How bad is it?
:Cueball: The internet could be inoperative within days.

:Cueball: We can't let a crucial resource go unshepherded.
:Mr. President: Go on.

:Cueball: I recommend you appoint a Secretary of the internet. Someone to impose some orders on this mess.

:Mr. President: Ordering bloggers around? Doesn't sound easy.
:Cueball: No; it's like herding lolcats.
:Mr. President: What?
:Cueball: Nothing.

:Mr. President: Do you have someone in mind for the post?
:Cueball: I know just the guy.

:Soon:
:Phone: ''Ring''
:[Black Hat looks away from his computer at the ringing phone.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Secretary|01]]
[[Category:Internet]]

494: Secretary: Part 1

2014-01-12T19:39:14Z

108.162.216.67: /* Explanation */ Added an explanation for the a-twitter joke, but Twitter needs a wikipedia link and verification of what it is, since I don't use it.

{{comic
| number = 494
| date = October 27, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 1
| image = secretary part 1.png
| titletext = The blueprints for the Department of the Internet offices call for Ceiling Cat-themed sprinkler heads.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|POTUS|President of the United States of America}} is the chief executive of the United States of America. The tubes being clogged is a reference to the, now deceased, Alaska Senator {{w|Ted Stevens}} who, during a congressional debate on {{w|net neutrality}} described the {{w|Internet}} as a {{w|series of tubes}} (be sure to listen to the audio clips in that Wikipedia page, and you'll see why he became a big hit with the Internet). Ted Stevens also gained notoriety for backing a proposal to build a {{w|Gravina Island Bridge|bridge to nowhere}} using federal funds. The question "What are they a-Twitter about now?" refers to the website Twitter, which is a microblogging site.

Cats are notorious for being hard to herd, thus the idiom "herding cats" meaning an extremely difficult task that can very quickly get away from anyone undertaking it. {{w|Lolcats}} are pictures of cats, usually in humorous poses, that have insipid captions on them. The conflation of lolcats and the herding idiom escaped the president (who is presumably somebody not savvy to either or both terms). The title text refers to {{w|Ceiling Cat}}, a lolcat parody of God.

As with cats, Bloggers are an ideologically diverse bunch, and are hard to get to go in a single direction.

The proposed "Secretary of the Internet" would likely be a new position on the President's {{w|Cabinet of the United States|Cabinet}}, which currently consists of the heads of 15 executive departments and are, with the one exception of the Attorney General (who heads the Department of Justice), titled "Secretary of ''Department''".

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

==Transcript==
:Spring 2009— The new president faces a crisis...
:[Cueball is talking to an unseen Mr. President, who is sitting behind a desk.]
:Cueball: Mr. President, the bloggers are restless.
:Mr. President: What are they a-twitter about now?

:Cueball: It's the tubes sir. They're clogged. We put too much stuff on them.

:Mr. President: How bad is it?
:Cueball: The internet could be inoperative within days.

:Cueball: We can't let a crucial resource go unshepherded.
:Mr. President: Go on.

:Cueball: I recommend you appoint a Secretary of the internet. Someone to impose some orders on this mess.

:Mr. President: Ordering bloggers around? Doesn't sound easy.
:Cueball: No; it's like herding lolcats.
:Mr. President: What?
:Cueball: Nothing.

:Mr. President: Do you have someone in mind for the post?
:Cueball: I know just the guy.

:Soon:
:Phone: ''Ring''
:[Black Hat looks away from his computer at the ringing phone.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Secretary|01]]
[[Category:Internet]]