explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1052: Every Major's Terrible

2019-04-18T15:07:06Z

108.162.219.112: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1052
| date = May 7, 2012
| title = Every Major's Terrible
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = every_majors_terrible.png
| titletext = Someday I'll be the first to get a Ph. D in 'Undeclared'.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] has written a song called ''Every Major's Terrible'' and this comic illustrates the song. In this song the term {{w|Major (academic)|Major}} refers to the US version of an academic major. And the point of the song is that it makes no sense to pick any major since they are all terrible!

The header notes that the song is written to the tune of the satirical {{w|Major-General's Song}} from {{w|Gilbert and Sullivan's}} 1879 comic opera ''{{w|The Pirates of Penzance}}''. The song satirizes the idea of the "modern" educated British Army officer of the latter 19th century. {{w|Major general}} is a military rank in Britain and many other countries. (As of August 2018, the title text has been changed to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhaEjgnmy3c a link to the said song]). The meter in the Major-General's Song is iambic octameter, which means that in each line there are eight iambs, where an iamb is two syllables in an unstressed-stressed pattern. Therefore, each line contains 16 syllables.

The panels show Randall's rewritten lyrics to the song. Below each of the three verses are described in detail (go to [[#Verse 1|Verse 1]], [[#Verse 2|Verse 2]] or [[#Verse 3|Verse 3]]). Each verse ends with "Just put me down as 'Undecided' - Every Major's Terrible", which gives the song its name — and "Major's Terrible" is similar enough to "Major General", the corresponding lyrics in the original version, to serve as a callback. The last line of the first verse in each song goes as follows:
*Original: I am the very model of a modern Major-General
*Randall's: Just put me down as undecided- every major's terrible

The lyrics are commonly rewritten, the most famous rewrite likely being {{w|The Elements (song)}} by {{w|Tom Lehrer}} which is also mentioned below the main header. This song is also [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3NOQnsQM available on-line].

His last suggestion, "{{w|Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious}}", from ''{{w|Mary Poppins}}'', is another fast-paced patter-song with a somewhat similar tune, though it doesn't fit quite so well, and the match falls apart at the end of the fourth line, when the "Um-diddly"s start up — still, it's better than nothing.

There are at least two performances of this xkcd song online where the transcription is shown to make it easier to understand the text:
*A video with each major acted out by the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seGpYa8UO0E SFU Choir - Every Major's Terrible].
*A solo with piano: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRexBMPeRTo Every Major's Terrible' by Ben Miller].
**See also this article [http://www.uproxx.com/gammasquad/2012/08/ben-miller-xkcd-every-majors-terrible/ Xkcd's 'Every Major's Terrible' Is Now A Real Song].

Regarding the title text: "Undeclared" is sometimes called "General Studies". Most U.S. universities will not let you get a degree in this, let alone an advanced degree such as a {{w|Ph.D.}} Also, it should probably be noted that this song refers to U.S.-like university systems, in other countries, one will study little to nothing outside your major, making it more-or-less impossible to be undecided as to major.

It should also be noted that the title text fits the cadence of the first line of the song, possibly teasing a fourth verse. As to what that consists of, only Randall knows.

===Verse 1===
;Panel 1, ''Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality'': [[Cueball]] is posing as {{w|Rodin}}'s {{w|The Thinker}}, a common symbol for {{w|philosophy}}. The equation in the background (two plus light bulb equals sailboat) is nonsense, hence "{{w|math}} sans rigor, sense or practicality" ([http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sans sans] meaning without).

;Panel 2, ''And math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.'': A cannon is firing. However, instead of going in the normal parabolic arc (a precept of reality and thus {{w|physics}}), the cannonball splits and splits again, so that it looks like a {{w|bifurcation diagram}} from {{w|chaos theory}}. The dashed line indicates the cannonball's trajectory, which bifurcates twice, although the sum of the momentums of the four resulting (1/4 sized?) cannonballs is presumably mathematically identical to the original.

;Panel 3, ''A business major's just a thing you get so you can graduate'': {{w|Business education|Business}} is the most common major, often seen as a practical choice applicable to a wide variety of careers, or, as the comic illustrates, preferred by those who just want an easy way to graduate. Cueball gets his diploma and runs away from the dean on the podium while shedding both his robe and his {{w|square academic cap}} (or Mortarboard).

;Panel 4, ''And chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.'': Stamp collecting refers to the [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford famous quote] by {{w|Ernest Rutherford}}, "All science is either physics or stamp collecting." {{w|Methyl acetate}} is a solvent that for instance can be used to remove stamps from their envelope (although water will do the same). The stamps in the background form the {{W|periodic table}} of the chemical elements. And since {{w|chemistry}} is not physics, according to the quote, {{w|chemists}} must be stamp collectors (as, the high on methylacetate, [[Ponytail]] wearing goggles and holding an {{w|Erlenmeyer flask}}).

;Panels 5, ''Why anyone who wants a job would study lit's a mystery''
;Panels 6, ''Unless their only other choice were something like art history.'': These lines, both sung by Cueball, refer to subjects where a majority of graduates will end up unemployed or eventually working in a field outside their majors. Topics such as {{w|Literature}} or {{w|Art History}} are often and historically said to be in this category — although from [http://www.studentsreview.com/unemployment_by_major.php3?sort=Rate actual statistics], it is clear that there are far worse majors these days.

;Panels 7, ''A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve''
;Panels 8, ''A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave'': Here Cueball first has a major in {{w|Communication studies|Communications}} and next he is seen underwater with a basket. {{w|Underwater basket weaving}} is a commonly used metaphor for any college major that is easy or worthless. "Communications" is a major chosen by people interested in news broadcasting or other media. For why that might be criticized see [http://badpr.co.uk/ Bad PR]. Note that, if following the original music exactly, the line "A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave." will be repeated three times by the chorus after these panels.

;Panel 9, ''I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in biology,'': We see Cueball holding a frog out in front of him while taking his hand to his head (in disgust?). A {{w|Fowler's toad}} is a relatively common toad in the eastern US, and a stereotype of studying {{w|biology}} is a frog {{w|dissection}}, which is likely part of the reference, albeit oblique. Fowler's Toad emits a {{w|Bufo_fowleri#Behavior|noxious secretion}} that [http://www.nwf.org/wildlife/wildlife-library/amphibians-reptiles-and-fish/toads.aspx irritates skin] and thus probably also the mucous membranes in the mouth. It would thus be rather painful to eat, making it very bad for Cueball to major in biology since he would rather eat such a toad.

;Panel 10, ''And social psych is worse than either psych ''or'' sociology.'': {{w|Social psychology}} is compared to {{w|sociology}} (study of humans in society) and {{w|psychology}} (study of human minds). Psychology is represented by a {{w|serial killer}} with a chainsaw, and sociology is represented by a {{w|zombie}}. These are to the left of [[Megan]]. To her right is a zombie serial killer with chainsaw. She is standing between them undecided as to take one, the other or both. They are all terrible options...

;Panels 11, ''The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable,''
;Panels 12, ''Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.'': End of the first verse where Cueball tells his academic advisor that he is undecided as every major's terrible. He even throws away his {{w|study guide}}. Every verse ends with some variation of this couplet, and in the original tune, each of these couplets are repeated by the chorus afterwards.
:''Unbearable'' and ''terrible'' rhyme for people who have the {{w|English-language vowel changes before historic /r/#Mary–marry–merry merger|Mary-merry merger}}.

===Verse 2===
;Panel 13, ''Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in seismology,'':[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prognosticate Prognosticate] means "to predict". This refers to the inability of {{w|seismology}} to reliably predict catastrophic {{w|earthquake}}s, even after centuries of extensive research. The panel shows {{w|Seismic wave|seismic waves}} from a {{w|seismograph}}. The seismograph chart has four traces and about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously indicating an earthquake. Five months after this comic was published several seismologists in Italy were [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-court-finds-seismologists-guilty-of-manslaughter-1.11640 convicted of crimes] that effectively stemmed from an inability to predict an earthquake. This does not go down well for the message of this panel... Their conviction was [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-seismologists-cleared-of-manslaughter-1.16313 overturned on appeal] in 2014.

;Panel 14, ''But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to theology.'': The bearded [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/theologist theologist] represents {{w|Theology}} by stating the formal logic proposition shown in the illustration: "X ∴ ∃X". This says "I can describe this thing called X, therefore X exists". This is what Anselm’s {{w|ontological argument}} for God boils down to. Briefly, it asks you to imagine the best possible deity, which, by defintion, would be God. A God which exists in both reality and theory would be greater than one who exists in merely the latter. Therefore, this proposition concludes that God exists. The fatal flaw of this argument is that it can be used to prove the existence of anything (e.g. a vacuum cleaner which exists in both reality and theory is greater than one which exists merely in theory). Just because a perfect God would exist does not mean he does. Thus it has been largely rejected. (See [[1505: Ontological Argument]].)

;Panel 15, ''CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.'': "CS" is short for "{{w|Computer Science}}." Most programming languages use parentheses as part of their syntax, and often have multiply-nested parenthetical expressions. This is especially true of {{w|Lisp (programming language)|Lisp}}. It is often difficult for a programmer to determine where the unbalanced parenthesis begins or ends when the code and parentheses are not properly formatted and indented. In the panel there is one more left "(" parenthesis (13) than right ")" or ''close-paren'' (12). The problem is now, where to put this last one...

;Panel 16, ''Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.'': {{w|Virology}} is the study of {{w|infectious diseases}}. The green symbol above the central figure is the {{w|Hazard_symbol#Biohazard_sign|biohazard symbol}}, implying that people who study infectious diseases, and are therefore located near them at some points in time, will be shunned like the plague, because they're probably carrying it. Thus no hugs to Megan as three Cueballs and Ponytail leans back away from her.

;Panel 17, ''I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.'': "I.T." is short for "{{w|Information Technology}}", a degree for people who maintain computer systems. If there is a need for an I.T. position (in which I.T. professionals are employed) there are computers which need fixing — hence the I.T. Professional is always fixing (or fighting) computers, which may or may not have been [http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980506 "broken" by users]. In the panel Megan, wielding an axe, is in a real fight with a PC.

;Panel 18, ''As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."'': This is a slightly amended quote from {{w|Discworld}} author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}, from his book "{{w|The Last Continent}}". The actual quote is "{{w|Geography}} is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it." But the meaning is the same, that physics also describes geography - a similar quote to the one about physics vs. stamp collections mentioned under panel 4.

;Panel 19, ''Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,'': {{w|Richard Feynman}} was a 20th-century {{w|Nobel Prize|Nobel}}-laureate {{w|physicist}} known for his great sense of humor, including being photographed for one of his books while holding a {{w|bongo drum}}. Here he is depicted with the drum and with both a blond woman and Megan looking admiringly upon him. Feynman made physics seem cool, and many a young fan might choose the subject in the hope of obtaining a Feynman-like career. This is, however, very unlikely for most people as is also shown in the next panel.

;Panel 20, ''The wiki page for "Physics major" redirects to "Engineer."'': A redirect on Wikipedia is a page which immediately sends the visitor to a different page. This implies that the title of the first is either a synonym or a sub-topic of the second. {{w|Physics major}} usually learn to code, and the standard joke is that they invariably get hired as {{w|computer programmers}} after graduation, but here in this comic they get hired as {{w|engineers}}. This relates back to the previous panel, as it is here shown that most of those that major in physics end up as engineers and not like Feynman. The Wikipedia page physics major didn't actually exist when this comic was published. It was created the same day, but as a [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Physics_major&redirect=no redirect] to {{w|physics education}}. It is such a redirect page that is shown in the panel. In the subsequent days, there were dozens of instances of people changing it to redirect to engineer, usually reverted within minutes. The redirect page is now ''fully protected'' and locked for editing. As with the underwater basket-weaving line in the first verse, after the soloist sings this, the line would be repeated three times by the chorus.

;Panels 21, ''They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,''
;Panels 22, ''But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.'': This uses a version of a quote by {{w|George Santayana}} (although often attributed to others as well), ''Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it'' as a reason to study {{w|history}} — only to be followed by an indication that by studying history as a major, you will only be prepared to become a history teacher, and you will then spend the rest of your life teaching history. The first panel shows a flow chart that will lead you to repeat your sad past if you cannot remember it, and only move on to happier times if you can. In the next panel we see a [[Hairbun]] as a history teacher, with glasses and her gray hair tied up in a bun, standing in front of a green {{w|blackboard}} with three important years for her current history class. (If anyone spots a connection between 1935, 1969 and 1991 please state it here).

;Panels 23, ''I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,''
;Panels 24, ''But put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.'': End of the second verse where Cueball again talks to his academic advisor saying that he is undecided. In the last of the two panel he says almost the same as at the end of the first verse. In the first, however, he mentioned his "four-year plan" which is the list of all the courses a student plans to include in his/her degree program. If you change majors every semester, or do not decide on one until too late, this list gets really difficult to turn into any one degree. Again these lines would be repeated by the chorus afterwards.

===Verse 3===
;Panel 25, ''Astronomers all cringe when they hear "supermoon" or "zodiac".'': {{w|Supermoon}} is a term invented by {{w|astrologers}} in the 1970s, with no significance in {{w|astronomy}} other than being the co-occurrence of orbital {{w|perigee}} and full-moon. But it comes up often in the press, linked to supernatural behavior. That also Randall dislikes seems realistic and he also "mocked" the term soon after in [[1080: Visual Field]] and then finally confirmed what he thought about the term directly when he published [[1394: Superm*n]]. This was the first comic referencing supermoon, here is [[:Category:Supermoon|a list]] of all such comics. The {{w|zodiac}} is the circular band in the sky containing the apparent path of the sun, moon and planets. Most often when people talk about it, they're referring to {{w|astrology}} and {{w|horoscopes}} and other pseudo-scientific notions which often lead to conversations which are frustrating to astronomers, like the bearded one from the panel.

;Panel 26, ''Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.'': {{w|Agronomy}} is the science of farming, while {{w|agoraphobia}} is the fear of wide open spaces. Fields, where most farming happens, are wide open spaces. In the panel an anxious Cueball is standing near a fence on an open field with a tractor. Presumable he may be OK inside the tractor, but once he gets outside he becomes anxious.

;Panel 27, ''I'm too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,'': {{w|Herpetology}} is the study of {{w|reptiles}} and {{w|amphibians}}, while {{w|ophiophobia}} is the fear of {{w|snakes}} (a reptile). The panel shows sweating Cueball holding his hands to his mouth while looking at a green snake asking for his love? It is possible that Cueball is afraid of the snake, who is harmless and just wants to be friends.

;Panel 28, ''And I can't stomach any part of gastroenterology.'': As the pun suggests, {{w|gastroenterology}} is the study of the human digestive system and the image shows the human {{w|stomach}}. To [http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/cannot+stomach not be able to stomach something] means you can't stand or tolerate this thing.

;Panel 29, ''While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,'': {{w|Pre-med}} (pre-medical) is a major chosen by students hoping to go on to {{w|medical school}} to study {{w|medicine}} and eventually become {{w|Doctor of Medicine|doctors}}. Medical school is extremely competitive and usually requires a very high undergraduate {{w|GPA}} for prospective students. Hence we see a pre-med student holding on to all his GPA results.

;Panel 30, <tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>: The text is in all lower-case, a different font and strangely laid out compared to the text in all the other panels. All-lower-case and "free" layout are both associated with 20th century "{{w|Modernist}}" {{w|poetry}}, especially the works of {{w|E. E. Cummings}}. Ponytail is actually reciting this line of the song.

;Panels 31, ''TV's behind the rush into forensic criminology''
;Panels 32, ''(Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).'': This refers to how {{w|forensic}}-{{w|criminology}} shows, specifically {{w|CSI: Miami}} (Crime Scene Investigation: Miami) as shown on the TV screen in both panels, that often dramatize, exaggerate or otherwise confuse the science behind forensics, give people unrealistically glamorous views of the career, thus encouraging them to join it. {{w|Epidemiology}} is the study of causes and effects of events and trends. We see a pipe smoking epidemiologist standing with Ponytail and watching CSI - presumably making wild claims on cause and effect based only on what they see on TV... This is, again, the point where the chorus joins in three times, as in the previous two verses.

;Panels 33, ''By dubbing econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate;''
;Panels 34, ''The "dismal"'s fine - it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.'': "Econ" is short for "{{w|economics}}". {{w|Thomas Carlyle}} declared economics "{{w|the dismal science}}" in the {{w|Victorian era}} as a derogatory alternative name. {{w|Economists}} often claim that economics is a {{w|science}} like any other; however, as the predictive power of all economic theories are exceedingly weak compared to those of any science, this is disputed by those outside the field at times. It is of course also disputed by this song, in which Cueball "clearly" (see below) states that economics should not call it self a science - that is the ''dismal science'' is not derogatory enough for him.
*The sentences uttered by Cueball in these two panels are extremely difficult English for non-native English speakers.
*Here is some help in understanding the sentences:
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dub Dubbing] something means ''giving it a nickname''.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dismal Dismal] science means ''disappointingly inadequate science''.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/adherent Adherents] means ''supporters''.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/patently Patently] means ''in a clear and unambiguous manner''
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prevaricate Prevaricate] means to ''evade the truth''.
*Using these meanings of the words the two sentences can be re-written as:
**By giving economics the nickname "disappointingly inadequate science" the supporters [of economics] exaggerate;
**The "disappointingly inadequate" is fine - it's "science" where they evade the truth in a clear and unambiguous manner.

;Panels 35, ''In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.''
;Panels 36, ''Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible!'': End of the third verse, with yet another variant on the closing couplet. Choosing a major is compared to {{w|Sophie's Choice}}, which is any {{w|dilemma}} where choosing one cherished person or thing over the other will result in the death or destruction of the other, derived from the theme of the {{w|Sophie's Choice (novel)|novel}} of the same name, which has also been turned into a {{w|Sophie's Choice (film)|romantic drama film}}. So Cueball tells the academic advisor that choosing any of the majors over any other is as horrible as to have to choose which cherished person should die to save the other. Although in his case, it is the other way around, since he thinks all choices sucks. Again these lines would be repeated by the chorus.

==Transcript==
:[Headings to the left and above the 36 panels:]
:'''Every Major's Terrible'''
:to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan's
:'''Modern Major-General Song'''
:(Which you may know from Tom Lehrer's ''Elements''.
:If not, just hum ''Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious''.)

:[To make it easier to read the lyrics, the lyrics text is double indented. If someone says the line, their name stands above the line they say. If no one says the line it is just written after the description. Unless otherwise stated, the text is inside the frame of the panel above the drawing. If any other text is present it will be written after the lyrics.]

:[Panel 1: Cueball sitting with his chin on fist on a gray rock. Next to him is a mathematical expression "2 + a picture of yellow glowing light bulb = picture of Cueball in sailboat on a blue sea".]
::Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality
:Expression: 2+ =
:[Panel 2: A black and brown cannon standing on a green hill fires and a dashed line indicates the cannonball's trajectory. The line splits in two twice ending up at 4 cannonballs.]
::And math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.
:[Panel 3: A student in robes and square academic cap receives a diploma from a dean on a brown podium, while Cueball, diploma in hand, runs away on the green lawn, arms in the air, shedding both robe and cap.]
::A business major's just a thing you get so you can graduate
:[Panel 4: Ponytail wearing goggles and holding a flask with the periodic table in the background. Three stars and circle lines around her head indicates that she is dizzy.]
::And chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.
:[Panel 5: Cueball holds up hands questioningly.]
:Cueball:
::Why anyone who wants a job would study lit's a mystery
:[Panel 6: Cueball holding his chin.]
:Cueball:
::Unless their only other choice were something like art history.
:[Panel 7: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is a close-up of Cueball as a graduate wearing yellow embroidered robe and yellow tasseled mortarboard.]
::A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve
:[Panel 8: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is again the same Cueball graduate. Only now he is emerged in blue water. A wicker basket flows to the left, where air bubbles escape from Cueball. To the right are two fish.]
::A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave
:[Panel 9: Cueball holding a gray frog at arm's length.]
:Cueball:
::I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in biology,
:Frog: Ribbit
:[Panel 10: Megan indicating to the left a scruffy individual and an individual holding a chainsaw, and to the right another scruffy individual holding a chainsaw.]
::And social psych is worse than either psych or sociology.
:[Panel 11: Cueball stands in front of a brown desk holding a gray course catalog. Behind the desk sits a man with glasses and hair at the back of his head. He sits on his gray office chair. There is a stack of papers on the desk.]
:Cueball:
::The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable.
:[Panel 12: Same picture as panel 11, only now Cueball tosses the course catalog over his shoulder.]
:Cueball:
::Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.
:[Panel 13: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is a seismograph chart with four traces; about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously.]
::Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in seismology,
:[Panel 14: A bearded man with white hair states a formula with his left arm lifted.]
::But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to theology.
:Bearded man: X ∴ ∃X
:[Panel 15: Two lines with gray parenthesis.]
::CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.
:Code: <code>(((()((((()(</code>
:Code: <code>))))())())())</code>
:[Panel 16: Megan with a green biohazard symbol floating above her head stands alone; to the left and right three Cueball-like guys and Ponytail shun her.]
::Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.
:[Panel 17: Megan running at a PC on a brown table with a brown and black axe raised over her head.]
::I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.
:[Panel 18: The frame is a little smaller than the other frames. Above the frame is the first part of the text. In the frame is an image of a bearded man with glasses who says the rest of the text. ]
::As Pratchett said,
:Pratchett:
::"Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."
:[Panel 19: A man with black hair plays on brown bongo drums while a blond woman and Megan look in at him from left and right.]
::Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,
:[Panel 20: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is screenshot of a wiki redirect page. Below the title is the normal text for such a page. This is unreadable though, although it is possible to imagine it is possible to read the first line which would say: ''From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia''. But not the other line which would be ''Redirect page''. Below this line is an arrow down to the page the redirect points to. This is written in blue letters.]
::The wiki page for "Physics major" redirects to "Engineer."
:Wiki page:
::Physics major
:: Engineer
:[Panel 21: Flowchart: a gray box with a sad face chains to a decision diamond reading simply "?"; the "yes" branch leads to a yellow happy-face box while the "no" branch loops back to the initial sad face.]
::They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,
:Flow chart:
::?
::No
::Yes
:[Panel 22: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is Hairbun as a teacher with boxy spectacles and a bun in front of a green chalkboard with three years in white.]
::But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.
:Chalkboard:
::1935
::1969
::1991
:[Panel 23: Cueball at his adviser's desk again as in panel 12, but now without any catalog and holding his arms down.]
:Cueball:
::I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,
:[Panel 24: Same as panel 23 except Cueball has raised a first and the adviser has his hand to his mouth.]
:Cueball:
::But put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.
:[Panel 25: Image of a bald man with beard and glasses. He raised both hands one as a fist the other pointing up. There are lines out from his head to the left and lightning lines out from his head to the right.]
::Astronomers all cringe when they hear "supermoon" or "zodiac".
:[Panel 26: Silhouette of Cueball, agitated, in an open field near a fence and a tractor.]
::Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.
:[Panel 27: Cueball looking aghast at a green snake on the ground, both hands at his mouth and sweat jumping from his head. The snake also thinks about Cueball but in red and black.]
::I'm too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,
:Snake: ♥?
:[Panel 28: Anatomical image of a stomach in pink and red.]
::And I can't stomach any part of gastroenterology.
:[Panel 29: A man with wild hair, glasses askew, clutching folders and papers (green, blue and white), and dropping several.]
:Man:
::While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,
:[Panel 30: Ponytail reciting poetry; her poem is this panel's line, in a lighter, lower-case font.]
:Ponytail:
::<tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>
:[Panel 31: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. The frame is a TV screen with the ''CSI: Miami'' logo, CSI in yellow.]
::TV's behind the rush into forensic criminology
:TV screen:
::''' CSI: '''
::'''Miami'''
:[Panel 32: A balding man wearing glasses and holding a smoking pipe together with Ponytail holding a notebook watch a wall-mounted flat-screen TV on which the ''CSI: Miami'' logo from the previous panel is showing.]
::(Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).
:TV screen:
:: CSI:
::Miami
:[Panel 33: Cueball is talking with his left arm raised, palm up.]
:Cueball:
::By dubbing econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate;
:[Panel 34: Close-up on Cueball with left arm up.]
:Cueball:
::The "dismal"'s fine—it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.
:[Panel 35: As panel 23 with Cueball at his adviser's desk once more though with both hands held out in front of him.]
:Cueball:
::In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.
:[Panel 36: Same as panel 35 except that Cueball makes a final dramatic flair spreading both arms out.]
:Cueball:
::Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people‏‎]]
[[Category:Supermoon]]
[[Category:Astronomy‏‎]]
[[Category:Biology‏‎]]
[[Category:Chemistry‏‎]]
[[Category:Computers‏‎]]
[[Category:Geography]]
[[Category:Math‏‎]]
[[Category:Philosophy‏‎]]
[[Category:Physics‏‎]]
[[Category:Psychology‏‎]]
[[Category:Science‏‎ ]]
[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Animals]]

433: Journal 5

2019-03-31T06:31:11Z

108.162.219.112:

{{comic
| number = 433
| date = June 6, 2008
| title = Journal 5
| image = journal_5.png
| titletext = 'Pick you up at eight?' 'Nine. I've got to re-mine the driveway.'
}}

==Explanation==
In [[Journal]], [[Black Hat]] explains to [[Cueball]] that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance.

In [[Journal 2]], however, [[Danish]] sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process.

Initially stunned, he at last regained his hat in [[Journal 3]], the trademark of his personality and attitude, leaving him with the upper hand.

(In [[412: Startled]] he's shown more easily startled than usual, possibly due to Danish setting him on edge and cracking his façade.)

In [[Journal 4]], however, he is overcome with emotions, to the extent that he has even taken his black hat off while sitting head in hand on a bench, wondering in the title text why he would feel any emotions when he has a hat.

Now, in Journal 5, Black Hat parks his car and soon finds himself on the doorstep of Danish's house. He comes to tell her that he gives up and that she wins, because he just has to know who she is. This is very uncharacteristic of Black Hat. He then tries to tell her that he thinks they understand each other's personalities and that this means something to him. He is obviously smitten with her on some level. But all she does about this initially is use her remote control to set off the mines she installed in the driveway where Black Hat's car is parked.

But, even in his state of love, Black Hat had spotted these mines and moved them to her garage. So when Danish sets them off she destroys her own garage (and possibly her car) instead of Black Hat's car. When he tells her about moving them she is impressed and acknowledges this by saying ''Touché''. Maybe this is when she also begins to respect him in her own weird manner.

Black Hat can foresee that it will be a tricky relationship with their mean personalities crashing together, but when Danish gives him the option to go find a ''non-crazy girl'' he promptly states that this has no interest at all.

In the title text it seems that neither of them is deterred by this obstacle, and their relationship begins when Black Hat tells her that he will pick her up at eight. Although she does ask for one more hour, so she can re-mine the driveway before he comes back at nine. This did not seem to harm their future relationship as in most of the later [[:Category:Comics featuring Danish|comics with Danish]] she is mainly shown together with Black Hat, sometimes even in a clearly romantic setting, like in [[515: No One Must Know]], from where she got her name.

The whole "[[:Category:Journal|Journal]]" story is:
*[[374: Journal]]
*[[377: Journal 2]]
*[[405: Journal 3]]
*[[432: Journal 4]]
*[[433: Journal 5]]

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat parks his car.]
:''PARK''

:[Black Hat knocks at door.]
:''KNOCK KNOCK''

:Black Hat: Hi.
:Danish: Hi.

:Black Hat: I give up. You win. I have to know who you are.

:Black Hat: We understand each other. I can't let that slip away—
:''beep'' [from device in Danish's hand.]
:''BOOM''

:Black Hat: What was that?!
:Danish: Remote mines under your car.

:Black Hat: Oh, those? I moved them to your garage before knocking.
:Danish: Touché.

:Black Hat: ...This relationship is going to be tricky.
:Danish: There's still time to leave and find a non-crazy girl.
:Black Hat: Not even ''slightly'' interested.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Journal|05]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Journal]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Romance]]

Talk:2122: Size Venn Diagram

2019-03-11T15:24:00Z

108.162.219.112:

I think Randall kind of missed an opportunity with the title text: he should have used the new terms as a way to fill the blank areas in the diagram, for instance 'Great Emerald' for the currently empty set Great+Small+Little+Large.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.221|141.101.99.221]] 14:31, 11 March 2019 (UTC)
:No, I think the diagram itself is meant to be completely correct. But I didn't check all 100+ combinations. [[User:Fabian42|Fabian42]] ([[User talk:Fabian42|talk]]) 14:57, 11 March 2019 (UTC)
::Yes, I believe the diagram is correct now, but as per the title text Randall will start using new combinations of terms, probably to get their usage mainstream and move the location of the words in the diagram. I'm saying he should have created terms that would fill some blank areas. For instance, his Large Dipper would make Dipper appear in the Big+Little+Large area where we already have League.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.95|141.101.99.95]] 15:16, 11 March 2019 (UTC)
:He could also have placed “man” between “little” and “big” just to reference the movie ☺

Any such diagram will inevitably have small lacunae. But "Friendly Giant" is a particularly large one. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.172|162.158.63.172]] 15:21, 11 March 2019 (UTC)

Endian? Scott? Tits?[[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.112|108.162.219.112]] 15:23, 11 March 2019 (UTC)

Talk:2122: Size Venn Diagram

2019-03-11T15:23:07Z

108.162.219.112:

2120: Brain Hemispheres

2019-03-06T21:57:54Z

108.162.219.112: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaands

{{comic
| number = 2120
| date = March 6, 2019
| title = Brain Hemispheres
| image = brain_hemispheres.png
| titletext = Neurologically speaking, the LEFT hand is actually the one at the end of the RIGHT arm.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an AUTONOMOUS LEG and a CHICKEN. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
It is thought that the right half of the brain controls the left arm and left leg, and vice versa for the left half of the brain, [https://arxiv.org/pdf/1003.1872.pdf competing] [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF02972358 theories] exist for why this is the case. Also, many people incorrectly argue that different parts of the brain control logic and emotion, due to the importance of the [[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0028393211000285?via%3Dihub left]] brain for language processing. Randall joins and spoofs these by suggesting that the right brain instead controls the upper torso. This would suggest that your left leg moves independently of your brain. To explain the areas of the body controlled by both halves of the brain, Randall declares those sections "disputed," which suggests that the halves of your brain fight for control of the region.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A stick figure with the left half of the brain colored orange and the right half colored blue. A blue box is overlaid over the left half of the body, and an orange box is overlaid over the top half. An arrow labeled:'DISPUTED/DUAL CONTROL' points towards the overlapping area.]
:'''Neuroscience Fact'''
:The LEFT half of the brain actually controls the RIGHT half of the body... [Arrow pointing to blue rectangle]
:...while the RIGHT half of the brain actually controls the TOP half of the body. [Arrow pointing to orange rectangle]
:This leg is fully autonomous. [Arrow pointing to stick figure's left leg]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Biology]]

Talk:2116: .NORM Normal File Format

2019-03-06T19:06:19Z

108.162.219.112: /* Microsoft announces an AI service to further enable this...sigh */ new section

Oh man, I don’t know whether to laugh or passive aggressively link people this comic. [[User:Netherin5|Netherin5]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 16:55, 25 February 2019 (UTC)
:''Mumbles about special places in hell for people that deserve links of this comic'' [[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.90|162.158.90.90]] 08:11, 26 February 2019 (UTC)
::link it to them? send it in a weird data format, including notification bar of a phone, etc.--[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 08:34, 26 February 2019 (UTC)
:::I think [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Flag this] needs to be here. [[User:Netherin5|Netherin5]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 12:52, 26 February 2019 (UTC)
:::: I will take a photo of the comic on my screen with my phone, send that to my PC, print it out onto paper, take a photo of that (on a wooden table), embed THAT photo into an Excel sheet comment, take a photo of THAT and embed into a Word Document, and send to my customers. They would find nothing untoward about this, based on how they send me error reports...[[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.61|162.158.89.61]] 14:54, 27 February 2019 (UTC)

At the moment I'm seeing " https://twitter.com/openelex/status/853977391747801088 " as the title text [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.82|108.162.216.82]] 17:36, 25 February 2019 (UTC)
:That’s because the comic is a link, and clicking on it will take you there. The title text is correct, though. [[User:Netherin5|Netherin5]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 17:40, 25 February 2019 (UTC)
:: You prankster Randall. On mobile, we can only see the link **in text** as the title text. Am I to believe this, as another example of human mangling of information into an unreadable form, is an accident? [[User:Kev|Kev]] ([[User talk:Kev|talk]]) 19:01, 26 February 2019 (UTC)

Reminds me of [https://thedailywtf.com/articles/Web_0_0x2e_1 Web 0.1 at TheDailyWTF].[[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.113|162.158.79.113]] 19:01, 25 February 2019 (UTC)

Why the bloody hell is everyone censoring me???[[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.202|108.162.245.202]] 21:47, 25 February 2019 (UTC)
:From the revision history, the only things that look like they could be interpreted as being censored are the "JEWISH SHILL" thing from the (no longer present) "incomplete" tag, which is hate speech, and the "SOON THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED" thing that briefly replaced all of the actual content, which is vandalism. Both are considered unacceptable. See also [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1357:_Free_Speech xkcd #1357] [[Special:Contributions/162.158.214.22|162.158.214.22]] 03:53, 26 February 2019 (UTC)
::This person seems to have trouble posting their edits (probably unfamiliar with the simultaneous revision merging features which appear when two people edit at the same time) & hence isn't properly submitting their edits in the first place. I too see no evidence of anything but the instances you listed. I think they are ignorant of the proper steps & paranoid enough to believe there's a conspiracy to remove their comments, going on. (Note to user at 108.162.245.202 : Any edits ''or'' censorship show up in each page's edit history (just like Wikipedia). It's pretty easy to see everything that's been written ''or'' removed. Aside from the incidents noted by 162.158.214.22, you haven't had ''anything'' removed; You're not completing the edit process to begin with.)
::[[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 22:54, 27 February 2019 (UTC)

I'm on my phone but can someone please work this link into the explanation: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glitch_art thanks
:Done. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.173|108.162.246.173]] 01:20, 26 February 2019 (UTC)

The "share" functionality on mobile systems may serve as a rather catch-all protocol. On PC not many apps have this in mind.
[[Special:Contributions/172.68.141.148|172.68.141.148]] 02:43, 26 February 2019 (UTC)

Could someone do a short explanation of what absentee precincts are? A (quick) google search could not answer that question to me, and I think for many who do not deal with the topic whichever absentee precincts refer to will have the same question... --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 08:07, 26 February 2019 (UTC)

I love .NORM files, they compress so well: https://explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1683:_Digital_Data [[Special:Contributions/162.158.78.178|162.158.78.178]] 17:42, 26 February 2019 (UTC)

Is this really all that common? Am I the only one who came to explainxkcd because I only half got the joke? Sure, a photo of a screen with data is useless and stupid, but why make a comic about it? This has never happened to me. [[User:Jqavins|Jqavins]] ([[User talk:Jqavins|talk]]) 13:54, 27 February 2019 (UTC)
:It is really all that common. So common, in fact, that the original XKCD comic links to [https://twitter.com/openelex/status/853977391747801088 this]. That is on a government scale. Yes, it’s annoying. [[User:Netherin5|Netherin5]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 14:13, 27 February 2019 (UTC)

One possible legitimate use of this is when you don't trust the recipient from taking your hard work and not giving you credit for it. For an example when one of my previous employers laid me off because of 'financial reasons', there was a possibility that he might continue to send me projects as an independent contractor because he was under staffed. If he had sent me any projects, I was seriously considering sending him a screenshot of the Excel documents showing the work I completed for him to review and only after I get paid, I would submit the work to the web server because I did not trust him taking my work and uploading it himself without paying me for it.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.162|162.158.122.162]] 21:18, 27 February 2019 (UTC)

The title text is not proposing vector JPEG, but vector JPEG *artifacts*; that is to say, converting the artifacts inherent in JPEG into vector form to be included in the SVG.
:Yep, quite agree. The last paragraph misses the point IMHO. Using the terminology of the first half of the paragraph as it currently stands, Randall is proposing a filter that takes a line, caculates that it would run through X, Y and Z at low resolution, then expands the vector definition to include square blocks at those intervals (possibly with half-coloured squares surrounding it). Utterly pointless but it would satisfy both the needs of data users (since the underlying vector information is still there) and the aesthetic sensibilities of screenshot-posters (who expect to see blocky glitches). [[Special:Contributions/141.101.88.10|141.101.88.10]] 09:30, 28 February 2019 (UTC)

I just want to say, in the linked tweet from less then two years ago, there's a guy with a blue check mark whose running for Detroit city clerk to fix stuff like this and wanting to get with the data wonks who posted it to see what else there was. I thought that was hella cool and went to see if he won. The man is now Lt. Governor of Michigan. That's a hell of a two year run for anyone. Well done. -[[Special:Contributions/172.68.174.64|172.68.174.64]] 03:52, 1 March 2019 (UTC)

So, 3 days after this went up, Microsoft posted this blog [https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/microsoft-365/blog/2019/02/28/new-to-microsoft-365-in-february-advance-security-and-empower-a-modern-workplace/#excel Add Data to Excel Directly from a Photo]. [[User:Thaledison|Thaledison]] ([[User talk:Thaledison|talk]]) 20:16, 1 March 2019 (UTC)

I seem to recall, back in the old-old-old days, when it was common practice to include a copy of the program itself when sending data created by that program. Also, it is still common to find text displayed entirely within images on some web pages.[[User:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For]] ([[User talk:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|talk]]) 20:26, 3 March 2019 (UTC)

Anyone know why there might be an extra space before "aesthetic" in the title/mouseover text?
It doesn't show up in this wiki cause mediawiki likes to strip extra whitespace, but it's there on xkcd.com and in the source of this page. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.206.40|172.68.206.40]] 18:32, 5 March 2019 (UTC)

== Microsoft announces an AI service to further enable this...sigh ==

Now in Excel for Android...

https://www.engadget.com/amp/2019/03/01/microsoft-excel-import-data-from-picture-android/

Talk:2117: Differentiation and Integration

2019-03-03T01:05:31Z

108.162.219.112:

Darn, I have no idea what this comic is about. Randal has eluded my yet again. [[User:Linker|Linker]] ([[User talk:Linker|talk]]) 17:43, 27 February 2019 (UTC)
:Calculus. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.143|162.158.79.143]] 18:16, 27 February 2019 (UTC)
Basically, integration is easy to do by hand, but integration, even of things that look simple on paper, can be very difficult, as well as easy to mess up or get lost in.
And Calc 2 is why I stopped being a Computer Science major and moved (eventually) to majoring in English. Consistent 4.0s in math through Trig and Calc I ... 1.6 in Calc II, retook and got a 1.8. Without the Calc, couldn't do the physics; without the physics, couldn't get my 2-yr degree and move on from community college to a full university. I don't know what all the integration stuff in the flowchart is (since I didn't do well in Calc and it was a long time ago), but there's so very many things that become [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonelementary_integral nonelementary integrals] that all sorts of special tricks have to be employed for things that look like they should be easy. It's like having a problem that's very easy to do division on, but requires special advanced mathematical tricks to use multiplication upon.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.208|108.162.216.208]] 19:07, 27 February 2019 (UTC)

Basic ideas:
Integration by parts is the reverse of the Product Rule.
Substitution is the reverse of the Chain Rule.
Cauchy's Formula gives the result of a contour integration in the complex plane, using "singularities" of the integrand.
Partial fractions is just splitting up one complex fraction into a sum of simple fractions, which is relevant because they are easier to integrate.
Stokes theorem is the relationship between an integral over an area, and an integral over the boundary of said area.
Riemann integration was the first rigorous definition of integration. This has been superseded by Lesbesgue integration.
Bessel functions are like 2d versions of sin and cos, and turn up sometimes when doing integration.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.61|162.158.89.61]] 20:14, 27 February 2019 (UTC)
:"Lesbesgue integration." Best. Freudian. Slip. Ever. SCNR :P [[Special:Contributions/162.158.91.59|162.158.91.59]] 08:28, 28 February 2019 (UTC)
I know what you mean ;). After all, Gen 8 Pokemon was announced the other day, so you read it as "Pokemon League Integration". Completely understandable. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.78.28|172.68.78.28]] 14:40, 28 February 2019 (UTC)
Shouldn't Wolfram Alpha be somewhere in that flowchart? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.142|162.158.255.142]] 20:54, 27 February 2019 (UTC)

Glad to see I'm not the only one who is too dumb to integrate [[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.36|162.158.90.36]] 21:02, 27 February 2019 (UTC)
:Symbolic differentiation is just going through algorithm ; there are few functions which don't have it but they tend to be constructed in complicated way, and if function have differentiation it's usually easy to find it. Symbolic integration requires lot of thinking and trial and error ; even very easy function may lack primitive function and even if they don't, you may be unable to find it except randomly. If it's exercise in book, the ones for differentiation are done by thinking about some interesting function and putting it there. The ones for integration are done by thinking about some interesting function and putting it's differentiation there. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:38, 27 February 2019 (UTC)

Oddly enough it mentions Riemann integration, but that is the integral most people know how to use. Turns out there are a lot more (e.g. lebesgue and generalized riemann integrals). I'm halfway through a second semester of real analysis and was floored by how involved integration can be. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.34.106|172.68.34.106]] 21:36, 27 February 2019 (UTC)

One of my professors once said: "Never try to integrate a function. Almost all (in a strict mathematical sense) functions are impossible to integrate, so there is no reason why you should even try." --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.88.128|162.158.88.128]] 07:52, 28 February 2019 (UTC)

How is there no "+ C" joke in there [[User:Blagae|Blagae]] ([[User talk:Blagae|talk]]) 13:16, 28 February 2019
(UTC)

Probably because he put a +C joke in 1201:_Integration_by_Parts. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.160|108.162.219.160]] 13:48, 2 March 2019 (UTC)

== Risch algorithm ==

I thought I could contribute to the article with a better explanation of the Risch algorithm, since I have a bit of expertise here -- I've read all the original papers, plus the Cherry papers that add the extra features like Li and erf. I pulled out some of the old papers to review my knowledge of symbolic differential algebra (it's been a while!) then typed up a careful explanation which corrected some errors in the original description and fleshed out many more details... possibly excessively, but hey, that's kind of our calling here.

Then I saw that Glassvein completely removed my version for what appears to be the original without so much as a mention in the edit description. What gives? I

[[User:CRGreathouse|CRGreathouse]] ([[User talk:CRGreathouse|talk]]) 04:59, 28 February 2019 (UTC)
: Probably due to simultaneous editing. I've restored your definition. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.88.128|162.158.88.128]] 16:52, 28 February 2019 (UTC)

:: OK, wasn't sure if it was intentional (if somehow it was worse). Thanks! [[User:CRGreathouse|CRGreathouse]] ([[User talk:CRGreathouse|talk]]) 01:34, 1 March 2019 (UTC)

== Numerical Integration ==
Better still...plot the graph - cut along the line - weigh the part under the line. :-) [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 20:46, 28 February 2019 (UTC)
[Anonymous: I understand mathematically that integration is much more difficult than differentiation, but is there a possibility that Randall is making the comment that the same is true for Society? Integration has proved very difficult, and has led to riots, but experience shows that dividing our society up into small subgroups (that then argue with each other, but don't spend enough time together for riots) is relatively easy.]

Talk:1854: Refresh Types

2017-06-24T23:52:58Z

108.162.219.112:

Similar to [https://xkcd.com/1638/ this comic]. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.83|108.162.212.83]] 14:55, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

Aren't you supposed to use Shift-F5 (at least in chrome) for a hard refresh - not Ctrl - F5. https://support.google.com/chrome/answer/157179?visit_id=1-636338263045956762-2405452703&hl=en&rd=2 {{unsigned ip|108.162.219.136}}
:I believe that's correct. It is likely browser dependent. --[[User:Arccos|Arccos]] ([[User talk:Arccos|talk]]) 15:27, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

:Erratum: The middle hard-refresh option is missing something - it lists only modifier keys. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.142.185|172.68.142.185]] 15:32, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

:It appears that the "hard refresh" option is a real option, but that the keyboard shortcuts in the comic may not be correct. The above user's linked material suggests that the keyboard shortcut for a hard refresh, labeled "Reload the current page, ignoring cached content", is, in Chrome, SHIFT-F5 or CTRL-Shift-R on Windows and APPLE-Shift-R on a keyboard for MacOS. This is in contrast to the comic, which currently lists CTRL-F5, CTRL-Up, and APPLE-UP-R as the shortcuts. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.105|162.158.74.105]] 15:33, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

::That's not an "UP," the symbol ⇧ represents the SHIFT key. Indeed it appears Randall omitted the 'R' inadvertently. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 15:46, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

:Randall says the keys are examples, meaning some may missing. But for me it looks like the most common shortcuts. Except the hard refresh by pressing CTRL+SHIFT, that's nonsense because a F5 or R should follow. I'm sure we will see a picture update soon. Stay tuned...--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 15:44, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

:Ctrl-F5 works across every browser. It does appear that Shift-F5 also works in Chrome. [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 23:35, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

The missile launch keys can be totally identical for the two-man rule to work; the thing is not that they are interchangeable, but that the locks are too far apart for one person to operate both. [[User:Chrullrich|Chrullrich]] ([[User talk:Chrullrich|talk]]) 18:49, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

* Big Bang refresh - restarts universe just to be sure there's nothing stuck in cache. (Of course in EMACS, that's just good old: C-x M-c M-bigbang). :-) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.69.39|162.158.69.39]] 20:41, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

It looks like the "harder refresh" shortcut also requires two keyboards to work, since the "hyper" key seems to only exist on the space-cadet keyboard, which does not have an F5 key. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.105|162.158.74.105]] 19:12, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

What do we use when Skynet takes over? [[User:OldCorps|OldCorps]] ([[User talk:OldCorps|talk]]) 19:33, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

Gmail does not update instantaneously at all. I don't know how many times I've gotten a notification from my RSS feed, and then have to go to Gmail and press refresh. And that's not even counting external email. I frequently use the Gmail refresh button. [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 23:30, 23 June 2017 (UTC)
:That's weird, it definitely does for me. Sometimes it'll even update with the new unread emails before I get a notification that I got a new email. It updates faster than my work email. [[User:OldCorps|OldCorps]] ([[User talk:OldCorps|talk]]) 10:35, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

I also find it funny that this page uses an additional type of refresh: the "purge server cache" kind. [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 23:30, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

Powercycling datacenter can't be that long downtime unless the servers starts checking discs. And sometimes remotely triggering soft reset of server would really help user of incorrectly written application - servers are generally configured in way which allows them to start all needed services automatically. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:47, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

Dear [[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]], before deleting things and writing on topic you don't know about, please at least read [https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc7234#page-22 this], [https://superuser.com/questions/17464/difference-between-ctrlrefresh-and-ctrlshiftrefresh this] and {{w|Elasticity_(cloud_computing)#Example|this}}.{{unsigned ip|162.158.90.12}}
:Hi IP, please sign your posts with <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>.
:*I have mentioned RFC 7234 meta-tags for suppressing caching.
:*"Difference between Ctrl+Refresh and Ctrl+Shift+Refresh". This an old QA from 2009 and still browser dependent. The HTTP-Response "304 Not Modified" isn't always reliable as I also have mentioned.
:*Your reboot statement doesn't belong to any cache issues. I will move it to the ''harder refresh'' section.
:Please stop the edit war by just undoing content. I have rewritten something by using many existing phrases. Please read my edits first before becoming upset. And please follow a unique style according to the rest of the page.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 10:44, 24 June 2017 (UTC)
::No war. I am clearly bad at explaining, so I'll not touch this explanation any more; you are free to fix it the way you want. But at least investigate the issue first, since your proposed sentence showed that you are not familiar with the issue.

;Off-topic transcript discussion
I want to say that ELinks (the text-based web browser that I, for some reason, have on my Ubuntu) displays [//jacobds.tk/ExplainXKCDonElinks.png this] for the talk section. Isn't the transcript for text-based web browsers on comics where the official transcript fails? Also, I can't figure out how to put headers in. [[User:JacobDS65536|JacobDS65536]] ([[User talk:JacobDS65536|talk]]) 01:33, 24 June 2017 (UTC)
:I don't understand your problem. Are you talking about the talk section or the transcript? And what's wrong except the inverse text?--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 10:44, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

Seems like Randall keeps returning to missile launch topics after Trump... There have been quite a few since then. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 13:57, 24 June 2017 (UTC)
:He mentioned the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_briefcase nuclear briefcase] back during the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/105/ Obama administration]. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.83|108.162.212.83]] 16:09, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

It would be nice if the transcript section here would use words to describe what the symbols are. Or possibly a separate table in the explanation section. Thanks [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.112|108.162.219.112]] 23:49, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1854: Refresh Types

2017-06-24T23:49:26Z

108.162.219.112:

Similar to [https://xkcd.com/1638/ this comic]. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.83|108.162.212.83]] 14:55, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

Aren't you supposed to use Shift-F5 (at least in chrome) for a hard refresh - not Ctrl - F5. https://support.google.com/chrome/answer/157179?visit_id=1-636338263045956762-2405452703&hl=en&rd=2 {{unsigned ip|108.162.219.136}}
:I believe that's correct. It is likely browser dependent. --[[User:Arccos|Arccos]] ([[User talk:Arccos|talk]]) 15:27, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

:Erratum: The middle hard-refresh option is missing something - it lists only modifier keys. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.142.185|172.68.142.185]] 15:32, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

:It appears that the "hard refresh" option is a real option, but that the keyboard shortcuts in the comic may not be correct. The above user's linked material suggests that the keyboard shortcut for a hard refresh, labeled "Reload the current page, ignoring cached content", is, in Chrome, SHIFT-F5 or CTRL-Shift-R on Windows and APPLE-Shift-R on a keyboard for MacOS. This is in contrast to the comic, which currently lists CTRL-F5, CTRL-Up, and APPLE-UP-R as the shortcuts. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.105|162.158.74.105]] 15:33, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

::That's not an "UP," the symbol ⇧ represents the SHIFT key. Indeed it appears Randall omitted the 'R' inadvertently. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 15:46, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

:Randall says the keys are examples, meaning some may missing. But for me it looks like the most common shortcuts. Except the hard refresh by pressing CTRL+SHIFT, that's nonsense because a F5 or R should follow. I'm sure we will see a picture update soon. Stay tuned...--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 15:44, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

:Ctrl-F5 works across every browser. It does appear that Shift-F5 also works in Chrome. [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 23:35, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

The missile launch keys can be totally identical for the two-man rule to work; the thing is not that they are interchangeable, but that the locks are too far apart for one person to operate both. [[User:Chrullrich|Chrullrich]] ([[User talk:Chrullrich|talk]]) 18:49, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

* Big Bang refresh - restarts universe just to be sure there's nothing stuck in cache. (Of course in EMACS, that's just good old: C-x M-c M-bigbang). :-) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.69.39|162.158.69.39]] 20:41, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

It looks like the "harder refresh" shortcut also requires two keyboards to work, since the "hyper" key seems to only exist on the space-cadet keyboard, which does not have an F5 key. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.105|162.158.74.105]] 19:12, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

What do we use when Skynet takes over? [[User:OldCorps|OldCorps]] ([[User talk:OldCorps|talk]]) 19:33, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

Gmail does not update instantaneously at all. I don't know how many times I've gotten a notification from my RSS feed, and then have to go to Gmail and press refresh. And that's not even counting external email. I frequently use the Gmail refresh button. [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 23:30, 23 June 2017 (UTC)
:That's weird, it definitely does for me. Sometimes it'll even update with the new unread emails before I get a notification that I got a new email. It updates faster than my work email. [[User:OldCorps|OldCorps]] ([[User talk:OldCorps|talk]]) 10:35, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

I also find it funny that this page uses an additional type of refresh: the "purge server cache" kind. [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 23:30, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

Powercycling datacenter can't be that long downtime unless the servers starts checking discs. And sometimes remotely triggering soft reset of server would really help user of incorrectly written application - servers are generally configured in way which allows them to start all needed services automatically. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:47, 23 June 2017 (UTC)

Dear [[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]], before deleting things and writing on topic you don't know about, please at least read [https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc7234#page-22 this], [https://superuser.com/questions/17464/difference-between-ctrlrefresh-and-ctrlshiftrefresh this] and {{w|Elasticity_(cloud_computing)#Example|this}}.{{unsigned ip|162.158.90.12}}
:Hi IP, please sign your posts with <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>.
:*I have mentioned RFC 7234 meta-tags for suppressing caching.
:*"Difference between Ctrl+Refresh and Ctrl+Shift+Refresh". This an old QA from 2009 and still browser dependent. The HTTP-Response "304 Not Modified" isn't always reliable as I also have mentioned.
:*Your reboot statement doesn't belong to any cache issues. I will move it to the ''harder refresh'' section.
:Please stop the edit war by just undoing content. I have rewritten something by using many existing phrases. Please read my edits first before becoming upset. And please follow a unique style according to the rest of the page.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 10:44, 24 June 2017 (UTC)
::No war. I am clearly bad at explaining, so I'll not touch this explanation any more; you are free to fix it the way you want. But at least investigate the issue first, since your proposed sentence showed that you are not familiar with the issue.

;Off-topic transcript discussion
I want to say that ELinks (the text-based web browser that I, for some reason, have on my Ubuntu) displays [//jacobds.tk/ExplainXKCDonElinks.png this] for the talk section. Isn't the transcript for text-based web browsers on comics where the official transcript fails? Also, I can't figure out how to put headers in. [[User:JacobDS65536|JacobDS65536]] ([[User talk:JacobDS65536|talk]]) 01:33, 24 June 2017 (UTC)
:I don't understand your problem. Are you talking about the talk section or the transcript? And what's wrong except the inverse text?--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 10:44, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

Seems like Randall keeps returning to missile launch topics after Trump... There have been quite a few since then. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 13:57, 24 June 2017 (UTC)
:He mentioned the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_briefcase nuclear briefcase] back during the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/105/ Obama administration]. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.83|108.162.212.83]] 16:09, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

It would be nice if the transcript section here would use words to describe what the symbols are. Or possibly a separate table in the description section. Thanks [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.112|108.162.219.112]] 23:49, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

1836: Okeanos

2017-05-12T18:01:10Z

108.162.219.112: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1836
| date = May 12, 2017
| title = Okeanos
| image = okeanos.png
| titletext = WHEN I WAS ON A BOAT I DROPPED MY PHONE CAN U LOOK FOR IT
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete| First edit.}}
The {{w|NOAAS_Okeanos_Explorer_(R_337)|NOAAS Okeanos Explorer}}, named after the Greek (and Roman) personification of the sea {{w|Okeanos}}, is a vessel that is currently exploring the Central Pacific Basin. It livestreams the video feed [http://oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/okeanos/media/exstream/exstream.html] of its deep sea exploration online.

This comic seems to be a representation of the livestream on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmVT36Axtn0]. The chat section for the actual livestream is disabled, but the comic adds some humoristic examples of what the chat section would look like.
Randall mentioned the ridiculousness of comments on YouTube before in [[202: YouTube]] and [[481: Listen to Yourself]].

Randall states that he likes to view the stream and commends them on disabling the chat section.

{| class="wikitable"
!Comment
!Explanation
|-
| Fake
| A very common YouTube comment expressing skepticism, for example saying that the content is edited or computer generated.
|-
| Who else is watching this in 2017?
| This type of comment appears frequently on videos, as a kind of community bonding over discovering or revisiting older content. It is not relevant here, as this is a live feed in 2017.
|-
| Is this prerendered or will these graphics be in the game?
| Commenter probably thinks this is a trailer for a game with hyperrealistic graphics.
|-
| That squid is neoliberal.
| Political commenter.
|-
| Why do the McElroy's never talk?
| A reference to The Adventure Zone, a ''{{w|Dungeons & Dragons}}'' podcast hosted by the McElroy Brothers and their dad. In the world of The Adventure Zone, there is a creature called the Voidfish, which is generally interpreted to look like a jellyfish.
|-
| Stop messing around and eat the fish already.
| Possibly a gamer or food vlog watcher.
|-
| This is why Trump won.
| Another political commenter.
|-
| Why do you never craft anything?
| A comment referencing games such as ''{{w|Minecraft|Minecraft}}'', where a key aspect to survival is crafting materials.
|-
| This is just a distraction
| Commenter thinks people should be focused on other things which are more important. Possibly political comment. Possibly conspiracy theorist.
|-
| Something is wrong with that baby giraffe.
| A live video of a giraffe in labor and giving birth was viral in April 2017. This commenter is either confused about which video they're watching, and is concerned that the creature on screen (a jellyfish) looks unlike a healthy baby giraffe, or is feigning this confusion as a joke.
|}
The title text is a comment by someone who allegedly lost their phone in the ocean, which is not a small place{{Citation needed}} and wants to use Okeanos' resources to find it.

==Transcript==
:[The comic takes place during a typical YouTube live-stream. The live-stream is from "OceanExplorerGov", using a submarine to explore the Central Pacific Basin. On the left hand side, the live video feed is playing, showing the ocean's depths. On the right hand side, the chat (typically shown in live-streams) is displayed]

:User #1: Fake
:User #2: Who else is watching this in 2017?
:User #3: Is this pre-rendered or will this be in the game?
:User #4: That squid is a neo-liberal
:User #5: Why do the McElroys never talk
:User #6: This is why Trump won
:User #7: Why do you never craft anything
:User #8: This is just a distraction
:User #9: Something is wrong with that giraffe

:Caption: I love watching the Okeanos Ocean Exploration live-stream, but it's probably for the best that they don't enable chat.

{{comic discussion}}

410: Math Paper

2017-01-28T15:46:54Z

108.162.219.112: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 410
| date = April 14, 2008
| title = Math Paper
| image = math_paper.png
| titletext = That's nothing. I once lost my genetics, rocketry, and stripping licenses in a single incident.
}}

==Explanation==
The math paper [[Cueball]] is in the process of describing in this comic, turns out to be nothing but an elaborate set up for a joke about {{w|imaginary friend}}s by taking the concept of "{{w|friendly number}}s" into the complex (imaginary) plane, which comprises complex numbers that have both a real and an imaginary part (see details [[#Math|below]]).

Cueball is challenged on this setup by his superiors, specifically the Cueball-like guy sitting at the end of the table, who look straight through his first line up for the joke, and ask him directly if this is just a build-up for this joke. Cueball tries at first to look like he has no idea what he's talking about, then lowers his head, in shame, and finally tries to state that ''it might not be'' such a setup. But it is too late now.

Such a pun is both so obvious and so terrible that Cueball's superiors deem that he should no longer have a {{w|Licence to kill (concept)|license to ''math''}} and they thus revoke Cueball's "math license". Of course you do not need a math license, but that is part of the comic's concept along the lines mentioned here below and further elaborated in the title text.

It is a [[:Category:Banned from conferences|recurring theme]] in earlier xkcd comics that Cueball (or [[Randall]]) ends up being banned from holding presentations at conferences after a presentation turns out to be just an elaborate pun.

The title text takes the joke a step further, with the added hilarity of making the audience question exactly how Cueball/Randall was able to work a {{w|striptease}} into a presentation about {{w|genetic engineering}} and {{w|astrophysical}} rocket study (or possibly genetics and rockets into a striptease) and then even manage to lose all three licenses in one go. This is what TV Tropes calls a "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoodleIncident noodle incident]".

The whole comic is basically Randall making the joke that Cueball never got around to, but packing it up so we think it is about something else. Randall has often made such feeble jokes, but by putting them into a context where someone listening may comment on how bad that joke is or have to explain the joke, it somehow becomes alright, and he can get away with these jokes anyway. (See for instance [[18: Snapple]]).

===Math===
An {{w|imaginary number}} is a number that can be written as a real number multiplied by the imaginary unit ''i'', which is defined by its property ''i2 = -1'' (an impossibility for regular, "{{w|real numbers}}", for which all squares are positive). The name "imaginary number" was coined in the 17th century as a derogatory term, since such numbers were regarded by some as fictitious or useless, but over time many applications in science and engineering have been found.

An imaginary number ''bi'' can be added to a real number ''a'' to form a {{w|complex number}} of the form ''a+bi'', (the formula shown at the bottom of Cueball's slide ), where ''a'' and ''b'' are called, respectively, the real part and the imaginary part of the complex number. If ''a'' and ''b'' are both integers, the complex number is called a {{w|Gaussian integer}} (as Cueball mentions). The {{w|complex plane}} is an X-Y plot with a on the X axis and b on the Y axis. (Such a plane is shown at the bottom of Cueball's slide).

Joel Bradbury (once) had the below cited and wonderful explanation of {{w|friendly number}}s on his site:

:What are Friendly Numbers?
:We need first to define a divisor function over the integers, written σ(n) if you're so inclined. To get it first we get all the integers that divide into n. So for 3, it's 1 and 3. For 4, it's 1, 2, and 4, and for 5 it's only 1 and 5.

:Now sum them to get σ(n). So σ(3) = 1 + 3 = 4, or σ(4) = 1 + 2 + 4 = 7, and so on.

:For each of these n, there is something called a characteristic ratio. Now that's just the divisors function over the integer itself: σ(n)/n. (This is the formula shown at the top of Cueball's slide). So the characteristic ratio where n = 6 is σ(6)/6 = 12/6 = 2.

:Once you have the characteristic ratio for any integer n, any other integers that share the same characteristic are called friendly with each other. (This is what is written in the frame in Cueball's slide, spelling friendly numbers as ''friendly #s''). So to put it simply a friendly number is any integer that shares its characteristic ratio with at least one other integer. The converse of that is called a solitary number, where it doesn't share its characteristic with anyone else.

:1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 are solitary. 6 is friendly with 28; σ(6)/6 = (1+2+3+6)/6 = 12/6 = 2 = 56/28 = (1+2+4+7+14+28)/28 = σ(28)/28.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball holding a pointing stick is using it to point at an equation on a panel. He is looking right. There several parts of the panel that can be read. At the top there is a formula. Below is a frame with text. Below again to the left is a X-Y plot with small dots all over all four quadrants, probably indicating the complex numbers with b on the Y and a on the X axis. Finally right of this is yet another formula.]
:Cueball: In my paper, I use an extension of the divisor function over the Gaussian integers to generalize the so-called "friendly numbers" into the complex plane.
:Panel:
::σ(n)/n = d(n)
::Friendly #s share d(n)
::For a + bi...

:[The audience to the right of Cueball consist of two Cueball-like guys (one in front and one in the back) and between them are Hairbun, with glasses, and Megan. They sit around a table, only Hairbun is on the near side. The Cueball-like guy sitting to the right is at the end of the table, the other two are on the far side. The Cueball at the end of the table is talking, the other three have turned to look at him:]
:Guy at the end of the table: Hold on. Is this paper simply a giant build-up to an "imaginary friends" pun?

:[Back to Cueball who stands speechless.]

:[One more beat panel with Cueball who now looks down.]

:[Zoom out to Cueball and the front end of the table with the Cueball-like guy who has not spoken yet and Hairbun who now looks at Cueball. Cueball looks up again and speaks. The guy at the end of the table speaks off panel.]
:Cueball: It might not be.
:Guy at the end of the table (off panel): I'm sorry, we're revoking your math license.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Banned from conferences]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Puns]]

382: Trebuchet

2017-01-14T16:02:52Z

108.162.219.112: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 382
| date = February 11, 2008
| title = Trebuchet
| image = trebuchet.png
| titletext = It was also fun when those teenagers tried to egg our house and it insta-cooked the eggs in mid-air.
}}

==Explanation==
Straightforward comic playing on [[Megan]]'s contradictory stance on [[Cueball]]'s historical {{w|trebuchet}} project and her own {{w|Automatic target recognition|auto-targeting}} kilowatt {{w|laser}}.

She explains her stance with the fact that her invention helps keep the squirrels off the {{w|Bird feeder|feeder}}. That it actually works is backed up by the fact that we hear a squirrel squeaking as it gets zapped by the very powerful laser. But getting hold of such a laser and programming the auto-targeting so it only zaps squirrels and not the birds is a very complicated process - and there are probably many other ways to keep the squirrels off the feeder. So Megan is of course no better than Cueball here.

The title text refers to {{w|egging}}, throwing eggs at houses, other objects, or even people. While this is illegal it's still a famous form of protest; more often it's simple random {{w|vandalism}} or {{w|prank|pranking}}, most common on {{w|Halloween}} in the US. Generally targets are chosen at random, with little specific malicious intent towards the victim, although it's not unusual for people to seek out and target the property of those who they dislike.

Trebuchets are referred to in later comics: [[1160: Drop Those Pounds]] and [[1190: Time]]. They are also mentioned in the title text of [[1378: Turbine]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is working on something on a table, and Megan is sitting at a computer.]
:Cueball: The trebuchet is almost done!
:Megan: Mm.
:Cueball: The range should be over 150 meters.
:Megan: Look - I'm sure it's a cool project.
:[Picture of a trebuchet.]
:Megan: But eventually you'll need to outgrow these toys, and focus your energy on something practical. This mad science is getting out of hand.
:Cueball: Says the girl who mounted an auto-targeting kilowatt laser on the roof.
:Megan: That's practical! It keeps the squirrels off the feeder!
:[From off-frame.]
:''GZZZZZAPP''
:''Squeak!''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Trebuchet]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]

433: Journal 5

2017-01-12T20:23:17Z

108.162.219.112: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 433
| date = June 6, 2008
| title = Journal 5
| image = journal_5.png
| titletext = 'Pick you up at eight?' 'Nine. I've got to re-mine the driveway.'
}}

==Explanation==
In [[Journal]], [[Black Hat]] explains to [[Cueball]] that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance.

In [[Journal 2]], however, [[Danish]] sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process.

Initially stunned, he at last regained his hat in [[Journal 3]], the trademark of his personality and attitude, leaving him with the upper hand.

In [[Journal 4]], however, he is overcome with emotions, to the extent that he has even taken his black hat off while sitting head in hand on a bench, wondering in the title text why he would feel any emotions when he has a hat.

Now, in Journal 5, Black Hat parks his car and soon finds himself on the doorstep of Danish's house. He comes to tell her that he gives up and that she wins, because he just has to know who she is. This is very uncharacteristic of Black Hat. He then tries to tell her that he thinks they understand each other's personalities and that this means something to him. He is obviously smitten with her on some level. But all she does about this initially is use her remote control to set off the mines she installed in the driveway where Black Hat's car is parked.

But, even in his state of love, Black Hat had spotted these mines and moved them to her garage. So when Danish sets them off she destroys her own garage (and possibly her car) instead of Black Hat's car. When he tells her about moving them she is impressed and acknowledges this by saying ''Touché''. Maybe this is when she also begins to respect him in her own weird manner.

Black Hat can foresee that it will be a tricky relationship with their mean personalities crashing together, but when Danish gives him the option to go find a ''non-crazy girl'' he promptly states that this has no interest at all.

In the title text it seems that neither of them is deterred by this obstacle, and their relationship begins when Black Hat tells her that he will pick her up at eight. Although she does ask for one more hour, so she can re-mine the driveway before he comes back at nine. This did not seem to harm their future relationship as in most of the later [[:Category:Comics featuring Danish|comics with Danish]] she is mainly shown together with Black Hat, sometimes even in a clearly romantic setting, like in [[515: No One Must Know]], from where she got her name.

The whole "[[:Category:Journal|Journal]]" story are:
*[[374: Journal]]
*[[377: Journal 2]]
*[[405: Journal 3]]
*[[432: Journal 4]]
*[[433: Journal 5]]

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat parks his car.]
:''PARK''

:[Black Hat knocks at door.]
:''KNOCK KNOCK''

:Black Hat: Hi.
:Danish: Hi.

:Black Hat: I give up. You win. I have to know who you are.

:Black Hat: We understand each other. I can't let that slip away—
:''beep'' [from device in Danish's hand.]
:''BOOM''

:Black Hat: What was that?!
:Danish: Remote mines under your car.

:Black Hat: Oh, those? I moved them to your garage before knocking.
:Danish: Touché.

:Black Hat: ...This relationship is going to be tricky.
:Danish: There's still time to leave and find a non-crazy girl.
:Black Hat: Not even ''slightly'' interested.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Journal|05]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Journal]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Romance]]

Talk:412: Startled

2015-08-20T22:49:47Z

108.162.219.112: added thought

What is there to explain here? [[User:Alpha|Alpha]] ([[User talk:Alpha|talk]]) 04:02, 23 February 2013 (UTC)

:Looks like an analogy to some animal. --[[User:Kronf|Kronf]] ([[User talk:Kronf|talk]]) 14:55, 2 August 2013 (UTC)

It is a little wierd that it comes in between the third and fourth in the [[Journal]] series where he is shown to be pretty badass. However, he loses the hat in [[377: Journal 2]] and then regains it in [[405: Journal 3]] because - as he says: ''I LIKE my hat'' and then we see in his next apperance here how he can use the hat in an emergency... In the next Black hat comic [[432: Journal 4]] after this one he is depressed and has to seek out the woman of his life already in the next published commic: [[433: Journal 5]]. It thus seems weird with this one to interupt the journal flow? Unless it was to show he has a human side... [[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 19:08, 1 June 2014 (UTC)
:Sorry, I did remove your edit. Please focus on explanations and not references to other comics here. We do have categories here to cover that. A simple close connection to an other comic can be mentioned at the trivia section. I'm sorry, but the explain section should explain the comic itself. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 23:28, 2 June 2014 (UTC)

Is there a list of comics with little or no alttext like this one? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.55.63|173.245.55.63]] 16:15, 28 June 2014 (UTC)

Possible Asdfmovie reference? Was that later? I think it was.

1037: Umwelt

2014-11-29T04:01:51Z

108.162.219.112: /* Galaxies */

{{comic
| number = 1037
| date = April 1, 2012
| title = Umwelt
| image = umwelt_the_void.jpg
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.
}}
==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|Many of the strips are not explained}}
An {{w|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that ones entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this {{w|April Fools}} comic changes based on the browser, location, or referrer. Thus, what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live, or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day, although only one is seen.

Information about how the wide variety of data was collected and credit for the viewers who contributed can be found [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/rnst4/april_fools_xkcd_changing_comic/ here].

===The Void===
[[File:umwelt the void.jpg]]

If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

Possible reference to The Ring (http://imgur.com/wlGmm), as though to suggest that using an alternative browser is dismal and horrific.

Davean (xkcd's sysadmin): "[This] comic isn't available everywhere and it can come up i[n] some situation[s] only for recognized browsers."

Browser: Alternative Browser

===Aurora===
[[File:umwelt aurora.png]]

One could interpret that since Megan didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the Aurora, the main character lied. That way, she wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out.

One might also believe that since xkcd is normally a black and white comic, Cueball is colorblind and didn't see anything of interest to him.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Locations: Canada, Boston, Maine, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Minnesota, Norway, Denmark

===Snake===
[[File:umwelt snake composite 1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt snake composite.png|Full size]]

The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest snake is the python, the longest ever being 33 feet or approx. 10 meters. The red and blue circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Specific AltText for this image: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit -from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your browser window size.

Location: Texas (on Chrome Version 33.0.1750.154 m), New Jersey,

===Black Hat===
[[File:umwelt tortoise 1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt tortoise.png|Full size]]

An analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. The joke here is that the turtle has actually been turned over and neither sees helping it as a priority. It's a reference to the Voight-Kampff test used in the movie Blade Runner (1982) to identify replicants.

Location: Seems to appear mostly in "other countries" — those without location-specific comics.

===Too Quiet===
[[File:umwelt too quiet 1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt too quiet.png|Full size]]

A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

Location: short version — iPhone 5c Safari browser in Texas,

===Pond===
[[File:umwelt pond mobile.png]][[File:umwelt pond wide.png]]

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Location: unknown

===Galaxies===
[[File:umwelt galaxies 1024.jpg]]
[[:File:umwelt galaxies.jpg|Full size]]

Megan is distracted from her conversation with [[Cueball]] by realizing that the space behind his head, from her vantage point, contains millions of galaxies. This is similar to an [http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/image/astro/hst_deep_field.jpg incredible photograph] taken by the Hubble Telescope, in which a tiny dark area of space in fact contained numerous galaxies.

The title text is an imaginative leap from this scenario: that the galaxies would be up to no good once Cueball is turned away from them. This is presumably a reference to [http://www.mariowiki.com/boo Boo], an enemy from certain Mario games who moves toward Mario only when Mario is facing away from Boo.

This comic was only reported once... the intended environmental context is a mystery.

Location: unknown

===xkcd Gold===
[[File:umwelt xkcd gold.png]]

This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" or "/z/ bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

Referrer: 4chan

===Yo Mama===
[[File:umwelt dog ballast.png]]

Possible reference to Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s "{{w|Harrison Bergeron}}."

Possibly a veiled criticism of Facebook. This could be slightly rewritten as: "This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid of dissent, so it tracks everyone at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop submitting information to Facebook. But that dystopian future is now."

Referrer: Facebook

===Reddit===
[[File:umwelt reddit.png]]

Reference to referencing, because Reddit, as a referring site, likes references to its referencing in its references.

This comic also features recursive imagery similar to [[688: Self-Description|Self Description]] where the second panel embeds the entire comic within itself.

Referrer: Reddit

===Buns and Hot dogs===
[[File:umwelt somethingawful.jpg]]

This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?"

Referrer: SomethingAwful, Questionable Content, & MetaFilter

===Twitter===
[[File:umwelt twitter.jpg]]

A summary of the content "typically" found on Twitter.

In the tweet feed, there are three tweets about some podcast on the top, followed by the tweet containing link they clicked on to get to the comic, tweets about Rob Delaney, unspecified passive-aggressive tweets, and a tweet from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_ebooks Horse Ebooks] retweeted by one of the users the reader follows.

On the left, the topmost dialog, with profile information, shows that the user has posted 1,302 tweets, but only follows 171 people and has even fewer followers, at a measly 48. This is marked with a sad face, implying that the user wants more followers.

Below that is the "who to follow" dialog, which is written up as consisting of "assholes".

Below that is the "trending tags" dialog for the United States. It is full of tags about word games, tags about misogyny, and tags about Justin Bieber.

Below that is an unidentified dialog full of "stuff your eyes automatically ignore". And finally, on the bottom is the background colour, which is "a really pleasant blue".

Referrer: Twitter

===Wikipedia===
[[File:umwelt wikipedia wide.jpg]]
[[File:umwelt wikipedia mobile.png]]

The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic.

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Referrer: Wikipedia

===Google Chrome===
[[File:umwelt chrome1.jpg]]

{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

Browser: Chrome

===Chrome/Firefox===
[[File:umwelt chrome2.png]]

Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X, and Linux, with a mobile version for Android, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} that fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser.

Browser: Chrome

===Google Chrome-2===
[[File:umwelt chrome3.png]]

This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece. However, the piece in question cannot possibly line up with any corner.

Browser: Chrome

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[[File:umwelt firefox incognito.png]]

Another reference to crashing web browsers.

Browser: Firefox (Incognito only?)

===Internet Explorer===
[[File:umwelt ie.png]]

Yet another reference to crashing web browsers

Browser: Internet Explorer

===Maxthon===
[[File:umwelt maxthon.png]]

Browser: Maxthon

===Netscape Navigator===
[[File:umwelt netscape womanoctopus.png]]

[[File:umwelt netscape man.png]]

{{w|Netscape Navigator}} was a web browser popular in the 1990s.

Browser: Netscape

===Rockmelt===
[[File:umwelt rockmelt.png]]

{{w|Rockmelt}} is a social-media-based browser.

Reference to the gospel song {{w|Longing for Old Virginia: Their Complete Victor Recordings (1934)|"There's no hiding place down here" by The Carter Family}}, later covered by Stephen Stills.

:I run to the rock just to hide my face
:And the rocks cried out, no hiding place
:There's no hiding place down here

It may additionally be a reference to the ''Babylon 5'' episode "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place," which featured the song.

Browser: Rockmelt

===Plugin Disabled===
[[File:umwelt plugin disabled.png]]

When the Google Chrome web browser does not have the required software (called a plug-in) to display a web page's content, it displays a puzzle piece icon and an error message. In this case, Chrome informs the user that the content is impossible to display.

Browser: Plugin (?) Disabled

===Corporate Networks===
[[File:umwelt corporate general.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate google chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes other.png]]

These error messages appear if the user is on a network owned by one of the corporations noted. The error message includes a warning against speaking on the company's behalf.

ISP: Corporate networks of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, NY Times

===Military===
[[File:umwelt military.png]]

[[Cueball]] assumes that anyone using a military network has an important job like watching for incoming missiles. He includes a thank-you to the user for their military service.

ISP: Military networks

===T-Mobile===
[[File:umwelt tmobile.png]]

Reference to T-Mobile's distinguishing feature of weaker coverage, in relation to other major providers.

ISP: T-Mobile

===Verizon and AT&T===
[[File:umwelt verizon.png]]

[[File:umwelt att.png]]

Reference to Verizon and AT&T's scandals/controversy regarding implementation of bandwidth caps.

ISP: Verizon and AT&T

===France===
[[File:umwelt france.jpg]]

A Google search of "French Military Victories" + 'I'm feeling lucky' used to direct to "did you mean: french military defeats" (due to a {{w|Google bomb}}), referencing a stereotype of the French:[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html][http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm][http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm]

Locations: France & Quebec

===Germany===
[[File:umwelt germany.png]]

This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force.

Location: Germany

===Israel===
[[File:umwelt israel.png]]

(Translation from Hebrew)

Person: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

A reference to the multiple use of the word Jewish to denote both a religious group and a nationality.

Location: Israel

===Carnot Cycle===
[[File:umwelt japan.png]]

A pun on "cycle"; a "{{w|Carnot cycle}}" is a thermodynamic cycle (e.g. refrigeration). Its efficiency depends on the temperature of the hot and cold 'reservoirs' in which it is operating.

Location: Japan

===UK===
[[File:umwelt uk.jpg]]

He worded this as though to imply that the UK is a state of the U.S., and an unimportant one at that, which pokes fun at the UK, creating a paradox (sort of).

Location: UK

===Blizzard===
[[File:umwelt disasters blizzard.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or blizzards are harsher conditions to live under.

For each location this displayed in, the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Georgia, Halifax, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, the Northeast, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Texas, Toronto, Tennessee, New York, Wisconsin

===Tornado===
[[File:umwelt disasters tornado.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or tornadoes are harsher conditions to live under.

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Dallas, Illinois, Georgia, The Midwest, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Tennessee, Texas

===Hurricane===
[[File:umwelt disasters hurricane.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or hurricanes are harsher conditions to live under.

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: D.C, Florida, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virgina

===Lake Diver Killer===
[[File:umwelt lake diver.png]]

This comic shows a news reporter standing in front of a lake. She is reporting on a serial killer who targets divers. As more divers are sent in to investigate and/or search for bodies, more divers go missing and are presumably murdered.

Locations: Bay Areas

Location: Vermont showed an image specifically referencing Lake Champlain

===Lincoln Memorial===
[[File:umwelt lincoln memorial.png]]

Locations: Illinois & Washington D.C.

===Helicopter Hunting===
[[File:umwelt helicoptor.png]]

In Alaska, governments and individuals have {{w|Wolf hunting#North America 2|shot wolves en masse from helicopters}} in an attempt to artificially inflate populations of game, such as moose and caribou, to make hunting them easier. This is opposed by many, as the game populations are not endangered (thus, this threatens ecological balance); wolves are a small threat to livestock in North America; most of the wolf body —including meat and bones— goes wasted as they are sought mainly for their pelts.

Location: Alaska

===Newspaper===
[[File:umwelt life scientists.png]][[File:umwelt life rit.png]][[File:umwelt life umass.png]]

Creating new life has long been a well understood process, in a lab or otherwise.

Location: Various

Specific versions appeared for RIT and UMass Amherst

===Robot Paul Revere===
[[File:umwelt paul revere.png]]

Combination of the legend of {{w|Paul Revere#"Midnight Ride"|Paul Revere}} and computer binary.

Location: Boston

===Counting Cards===

All four colleges in this series are in Massachusetts and, being similar, in pairs, rival each other to some extent (Harvard-MIT, and Smith-Wellesley). The comic contains a reference to the {{w|MIT Blackjack Team}}, which entered popular culture via the {{w|21 (2008 film)|film 21}}, and a possible reference to Orwell's book '1984' and/or {{w|Chain of Command (Star Trek: The Next Generation)|popular homage to it via Star Trek}}: "There are four lights."[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChYIm6MW39k]

Bonus: The thought-gears in panel 3 are spinning against each other.

Location: Harvard

[[File:umwelt counting cards harvard.png]]

Location: MIT

[[File:umwelt counting cards mit.png]]

"Course 15s" at MIT are the business major students, often mocked for taking a less-rigorous program.

Location: Smith

[[File:umwelt counting cards smith.png]]

Location: Wellesley

[[File:umwelt counting cards wellesley.png]]

Wellesley is an all-girls college.

===Giant Box Trap===
[[File:umwelt box trap.png]]

Randall got his undergrad in Physics at the {{w|Christopher Newport University}}, and was scheduled to return shortly to give a talk.

Location: Christopher Newport University

===Chemo Support===
[[File:umwelt chemo.jpg]]

Randall's now-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and apparently DFCI is where they've been spending much of their time.

Location: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

===Reviews===
[[File:reviews.png]]

The previous strip appears twice when using [[wikipedia:Tor (anonymity network)|TOR]].

Browser: Any using TOR, and reports of seeing it on a Kindle Fire HD

==Transcript==
:[Note to courageous readers- The transcript has been reordered in the order in which the comics appear in the picture and appropriate names have been given.]

:'''The Void'''
:[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

:'''Aurora'''
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: Hockey's on.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

:'''Aurora-US'''
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada. CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: It's cold out.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

:'''Snake'''
:[Two people standing next to each other. Megan is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

:Megan: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

:'''Black hat'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk. One is Black Hat. The other is an analyst. Black Hat has a number of terminals attached to his head.]
:Analyst: You come across a tortoise in the desert. You flip it over. It struggles to right itself. You watch. You're not helping. Why is that?

:Black Hat: It '''knows''' what it did.

:[View of the entire scene, with said turtle off in the distance on its back and trying to right itself.]

:'''Too quiet'''
:[A group of four scale down a wall into a field in the middle of the night. They walk off single-file.]
:Person 1: It's quiet.

:Person 3: Yeah - *Too* quiet.

:[A Velociraptor is off in the distance, following the group.]
:Person 4: Yeah - too *too* quiet.

:Person 2: Yeah - 2quiet2furious.
:Person 1: Fuck off, Steve.

:'''Pond'''
:[A landscape showing a pond, some reeds, and a set of mountains off in the distance.]

:'''Galaxies'''
:[A trio of galaxies.]
:Galaxy 1: He's not looking!
:Galaxy 3: Let's get him!
:[Lines draw in illustrating the eye-line of one of a pair of people.]
:Cueball: So he said he didn't get the text, but c'mon, he *never* misses texts. Right? ..hello?
:Megan: I'm just staring at your head freaked out by the fact that there are millions of galaxies *directly behind it*.

:'''xkcd Gold'''
:[Cueball holding bat.]

:Cueball: Sorry, but this comic

:[Cueball starts to wind up.]

:Cueball: requires

:[Cueball prepares to strike with bat.]

:Cueball: XKCD

:[Cueball swings at a beehive.]
:GOLD

:[Penis Bees fly out of the beehive.]

:'''Yo mamma'''
:[Cueball yells at a friend.]
:Cueball: Oh yeah? Well you mama's so ''cynical'', her only dog ballast is a ''leash''!
:(This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid dogs can hover, so it requires them to wear weights at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop buying dog weights.)

:'''Reddit'''
:Five seconds ago:
:[You sitting in front of a desk, reading a reddit thread.]
:You: Oh, hey, reddit has a link to some XKCD april fools comic.

:Now: [An image of the xkcd comic page.]
:Five seconds from now:

:You: ..hey

:30 seconds from now:
:[DANCE PARTY!]

:'''Buns and Hot dogs'''
:Cueball: What I wanna know is why do hot dogs come in packages of six while buns come in these huge sacks of ash and blood from which "Ave Maria" is faintly audible?
:[Chanting sacks of gore in the background.]

:'''Twitter'''
:[A Twitter account page with the following: Many tweets, fewer following, even fewer followers, A bunch of assholes in the suggested follow box, trending topics partitioned into: Word Games, Misogyny, and Bieber, stuff your eyes automatically ignore, A really pleasant blue. and the timeline: Something about a podcast, Someone confused because the description doesn't match the link, The link you clicked on to get to this comic, Rob Delaney, Passive Aggression, and horse ebooks.]

:'''Wikipedia'''
:[There's no comic here because instead of drawing one, I spent the last hour reading every news story cited in the Wikipedia article on The Mile High Club.]

:'''Google Chrome'''
:[A Chrome plugin error page.]
:Chrome: This plugin requires Sergey Brin's permission to run. Please wait while he is woken.

:'''Chrome/Firefox'''
:[Two people; Cueball is sitting at a desk in front of a laptop.]
:Cueball: Man, chrome's hardware acceleration really sucks.
:Ponytail: Oh - Theres' a great add-on that fixes it.
:Cueball: Oh? What's it called?
:Ponytail: "Firefox".

:'''Google Chrome-2'''
:[A Chrome plugin error page with the characteristic jigsaw piece.]
:Chrome: Chrome is looking for this piece. Have you seen it? Chrome thinks it links up with a corner.

:'''Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing'''
:[Firefox error page.]
:Firefox: Well, this is embarrassing. You know how I'm not supposed to peek at your browsing in private mode? Firefox.. is sorry. Firefox will not blame you if you
:[Button with text.]
:Click here to report this incident.

:'''Internet Explorer'''
:[IE error page.]
:IE: Error: Internet Explorer has given up.

:'''Maxthon'''
:Cueball: Maxthon? Hey, 2005 called. Didn't say anything. All I could hear was sobbing. This is getting harder. Anyway, yeah, Maxthon's still cool! Didn't know it was still around!

:'''Netscape Navigator'''
:[Two different versions exist: one with Cueball talking and one with Megan with tentacle arms talking.]
:Person: Netscape Navigator? Hey, the nineties called - drunk as usual. I hung up without saying anything. This is getting harder. Anyway - it's cool that you'e got netscape running.

:'''Rockmelt'''
:[Cueball running to laptop.]
:I ran to Rockmelt to hide my face

:[Cueball sitting at laptop.]
:But Rockmelt cried out -

:[Laptop shouting.]
:NO HIDING PLACE

:[zoom out.]
:NO HIDING PLACE DOWN HERE

:'''Google Chrome-3'''
:[A chrome plugin error page.]
:Chrome: There does not exist --nor could there '''ever''' exist-- a plugin capable of displaying this content.

:'''Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google - Chrome'''
:[Chrome error page.]
:Chrome: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Microsoft/Amazon - Firefox'''
:[Firefox error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Microsoft/The Times'''
:[Error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/The Times is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Corporate - Generic'''
:[Error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, we work as a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Military'''
:[Person looking at two browser windows.]
:Cueball: I know y'all know what you're doing. But if you're on a military machine and you're supposed to be watching for missiles or something, I hope you're keeping an eye on that in the background while you're reading comics. Also: Thanks.

:'''T-Mobile'''
:[Error page.]
:Data Error: T-Mobile was unable to establish a connection

:'''Verizon'''
:[Error page]
:Error: You have exceeded your Verizon monthly bandwidth cap. Mobile web browsing has been disabled.

:'''France'''
:[Two people; one of which is browsing using a laptop.]
:Cueball: Hey, you're French, right? Ever see what happens when you type "French Military Victories" into Google?
:French person: Does it take you to an article on Napoleon?

:French person: ..no? Strange, given how he kicked everyone's asses up and down Europe for over a decade.

:[Beat frame.]

:Cueball: Touche.
:French person: You know, that'd sound smarter if you didn't pronounce it like it rhymes with "douche".

:'''Germany'''
:[Cueball dropping food from an unorthodox high perch.]
:June 1948: In response to the Soviet blockade of East Germany, the western allies construct the Berlin Chairlift.
:Cueball on chairlift: Food!

:'''Israel'''
:[Person on phone.]
:Person (Translation from Hebrew): Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

:'''Carnot Cycle'''
:[Ponytail on a motorcycle with a heat-entropy graph on the side.]
:Ponytail: Check out my new Carnot Cycle!
:Cueball: Neat - how fast does it go?
:Ponytail: Depends how cold it is outside.

:'''Great Britain'''
:[Illustration of the Atlantic ocean.]
:American person: Sorry I don't have a comic poking fun at the UK here. I only had time to get to the most ''important'' US states.
:British person: Hey - At least we have free health care and real ale.

:'''Earthquake-Blizzard'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Boston", "Chicago", "Dallas", "Georgia", "Halifax", "Illinois", "Michigan", "Minnesota", "Missouri", "the Northeast", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", 'Pennsylvania", "Philadelphia", "Texas", "Toronto", "Tennessee", "New York", "Wisconsin"}! That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..
:[Both people are trudging through a massive blizzard.]
:Danish: In pictures, snow always looked so nice and sof - ''AAAA! MY NECK! How do people live here?!''
:Cueball: Come on - it's only three more miles.

:'''Earthquake-Tornado'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Dallas", "Illinois", "The Midwest", "Missouri", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", "Tennessee", "Texas"}!
:Cueball: That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..
:[Both people are in a shelter in a prairie with a rapidly-approaching tornado.]
:Danish: AAAA CLOSE THE SHELTER DOOR!
:Cueball: Say the magic words...
:Danish: THIS PLACE IS THE WORST!
:Cueball: Thank you.

:'''Earthquake-Hurricane'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "D.C", "Florida", "Houston", "Miami", "New Jersey", "North Carolina", "South Carolina", "Virgina"}! That was huge!
:Cueball: That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..

:[Both are in the middle of a hurricane. Danish is grabbing onto a signpost to avoid being swept away.]
:Danish: AAAAA WHAT THE SHIIIIT!
:Cueball: Calm down - this is barely a category 2.

:'''Lake Diver Killer'''
:[TV Field Reporter in front of a cordoned-off lake.]
:Reporter: Police divers searching the bay say they have recovered the body of another victim of the "Lake Diver Killer."
:Reporter: During the search, three more divers were reported missing.

:'''Washington'''
:[The statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial.]
:In this Marble Prison As in the nightmares of the nation they tried to devour
:The nanobots that constituted Abraham Lincoln
:Are entombed forever.

:'''Alaska'''
:[A person with a gun chasing a helicopter on the back of a wolf in a snowy Alaskan field.]
:Some people hunt wolves from helicopters. I hunt helicopters from a wolf.

:'''Life in lab'''
:[Newspaper headline.]
:Scientists/UMass Amherst students/RIT students create life in lab
:[Caption under picture of scientists.]
:"The trick was fuckin'"

:'''American Revolution'''
:Robot Paul Revere: Remember: Zero if by land, One if by sea.

:'''MIT'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: I see their admission standards have been slipping.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''MIT Course 15c'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: I *knew* we shouldn't have picked course 15s.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''Smith/Wellesley'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of Smith/Wellesley students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: We should've gone with Wellesley/Smith.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''CNU'''
:[Person unsuspectingly strolls under a giant box trap controlled by a Trible.]
:I worry that CNU only invited me back as a ruse because they realized I never turned in my final paper and want my diploma back. But if it turns out it's for real, I'll see you Wednesday at the Ferguson!

:'''Dana Farber'''
:[Cueball, pointing towards head.]
:Cueball: Check it out - In support of people going through chemo, I shaved my head.
:Lots of love to everyone reading this at Dana Farber. Cancer sucks. If you are new to DCFI, there's a great little garden on the third floor of the yawkey if you need somewhere quiet to just sit for a little bit and breathe.

:'''Reviews'''
:Shopping before online reviews:
:[Cueball and Megan stand in a store. Cueball points at a lamp on the table in front of him. There is another lamp on the table behind them.]
:Cueball: This lamp is pretty.
:Megan: And affordable.
:Cueball: Let's get it.
:Megan Ok!

:Shopping now:
:[Cueball points at a lamp on the table in front of him. Megan looks at her phone.]
:Cueball: This lamp is pretty.
:Megan: It's got 1 1/2 stars on Amazon. Reviews all say to avoid that brand.

:[Cueball and Megan are now both looking at their phones.]
:Cueball: This one has good reviews.
:Megan: Wait, one guy says when he plugged it in, he got a metallic taste in his mouth and his cats went deaf.
:Cueball: Eek. What about- ...no, review points out it resembles a uterus.

:[Cueball is still looking at his phone, Megan has hers at her side.]
:Cueball: Ok, I found a Swiss lampmaker with perfect reviews. Her lamps start at 1,300 Francs and she's only reachable by ski lift.
:Megan: You know, our room looks fine in the dark.

==Trivia==
*Reddit user [http://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations. Much of his information is now included in this wiki.

*The transcript section for this comic also included a note alluding to its extreme length:
: [ [Two people...] ] ((..wait.. <scrolls through a listing of everything> oh goddammit Randall. Thanks a bunch, dude. I better get a raise for typing out all this))
: [Two people standing next to each other. One is holding the head end of a snake...

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