explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2347: Dependency

2026-06-14T19:14:58Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 2347
| date = August 17, 2020
| title = Dependency
| image = dependency.png
| titletext = Someday ImageMagick will finally break for good and we'll have a long period of scrambling as we try to reassemble civilization from the rubble.
}}

==Explanation==
Technology architecture is often illustrated by a [https://www.guru99.com/images/1/102219_1135_TCPIPvsOSIM1.png stack diagram], in which higher levels of rectangles indicate components that are dependent on components in lower levels. This is analogous to a physical tower of blocks, in which higher blocks rest on lower blocks. The stack in this cartoon bears a striking resemblance to a physical block tower, suggesting the danger that the tower will lose its balance when a critical piece is removed, in this case a piece near the bottom, labeled as being maintained by a single semi-anonymous person located somewhere relatively unimportant doing it for their own unknown reasons without fame or acknowledgement. The concept of balance is not intended to be communicated by a stack diagram, making this a humorously absurd extension of a well-known diagram style.

===Background and examples===
Taking code re-usability and modularization to its logical extreme has been a long-time tenet for programmers; programming began as a slow task on very memory-constrained systems, utilizing punch cards and days of delay waiting to discover a bug, so that reuse made things possible that otherwise wouldn't be. Once systems became small, fast, and able to hold a lot of data, the ability to provide higher and higher degrees of automation made reusable libraries a huge engine behind the development of technology. By outsourcing what would seem like basic functions, such as string manipulation, to other libraries, developers waste less time reinventing the wheel, so the philosophy goes (or as Beret Guy's business practices literally: [[2140: Reinvent the Wheel]]), and thus many tiny packages, many of which contained only one function, became popular dependencies. This was especially true in Unix and Linux, where an entire program is commonly used for one small task, and programs exist to tie others together into powerful shell scripts.
* {{w|Bash (Unix shell)|'''Bash shell'''}}
: The bash shell, which is used by virtually ''every'' Unix-like and Linux derivatives and that is used by many system administrators has been maintained since around 1993 by one single person from Ohio, US for over 30 years (as of 2025): Chet Ramey<ref>[https://tiswww.case.edu/php/chet/ Chet Ramey, Personal website (Last updated: Thu Sep 25 10:49:15 EDT 2014)]</ref><ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20160811002459/http://www.computerworld.com.au/article/222764/ "The A-Z of Programming Languages: BASH/Bourne-Again Shell, (2008)" ]</ref>.
* '''{{w|ImageMagick}}'''
:ImageMagick, mentioned in the title text, is a popular, standalone utility released in 1990 that is used for performing transformations between various graphics file formats, and various other transformations. While there are also numerous libraries and APIs for performing these tasks within larger programs, ImageMagick is so popular and easy to use that many programs use its API or just find it easier to {{w|Shell (computing)#Other uses|shell out}} to ImageMagick to perform a necessary transformation. They therefore {{w|Dependency hell|depend}} on ImageMagick, and would break if ImageMagick were to disappear.
* '''{{w|OpenSSL}}''': {{w|Heartbleed|Heartbleed bug}}
: In 2014, the Heartbleed revealed a significant portion of the internet was vulnerable to attack due to a bug in OpenSSL, a free and open-source library facilitating secure communication. One headline at the time demonstrated this comic in real life: [https://www.buzzfeed.com/chrisstokelwalker/the-internet-is-being-protected-by-two-guys-named-st "The Internet is Being Protected by Two Guys Named Steve"]. The aforementioned Steves were overworked, underfunded, and largely unknown volunteers whose efforts nevertheless underpinned the security of major websites throughout the world. Randall provided a concise, helpful explanation of the bug in [[1354: Heartbleed Explanation]].

* '''{{w|Core-js}}'''
: {{w|Node.js}} (a platform for JavaScript) and Python are two modern ecosystems providing huge stashes of centralized libraries where developers of the world can come together to stand on the shoulders of all the small useful libraries they make for each other, to make new ones that are more and more powerful, and also more and more prone to sudden new unexpected bugs somewhere in the dependency chain. JavaScript was designed to be an easy to use front end scripting language, not a basic and core backend language as users of node.js's {{w|npm (software)|NPM}} package manager have made it be. While in theory, such a system may sound good for developers who would need to write and maintain fewer lines of code, systems which are highly optimized are also highly susceptible to rapid changes. For example, the famous left-pad incident in the NPM package manager left many major and minor web services which depended on it unable to build. [https://www.theregister.com/2016/03/23/npm_left_pad_chaos/ A disgruntled developer unpublishing 11 lines of code was able to break everybody's build, because everyone was using it.]

: In 2020, the sole maintainer of the library [https://github.com/zloirock/core-js/blob/master/docs/2023-02-14-so-whats-next.md core-js], used by 75% of the top 100 websites to polyfill in new JavaScript features for old browsers and depended on by tons of popular libraries such as Babel, ran over two dark-clothed drunk pedestrians, one of whom was laying down, at night in Russia while speeding in front of a crossing. He had quit previous jobs to be able to maintain core-js, resulting in not having enough money to settle, and he was sentenced to 18 months in an open prison ([https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D0%BE%D0%BB%D0%BE%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F-%D0%BF%D0%BE%D1%81%D0%B5%D0%BB%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B5 "колония-поселение"]).

* '''xz tool'''
: Leading up to 2024, a user account going by the name Jia Tan gained the trust of ''{{w|XZ Utils|xz}}'''s (one and only) maintainer. Over the course of 3 years, Jia Tan cleverly inserted a patch into ''xz'' that allows a remote user to gain root-level access via the common ssh protocol. This {{w|XZ_Utils_backdoor|compromised version of ''xz''}} was released in March 2024. Another programmer, Andres Freund, found this backdoor before ''xz'' was widely distributed.

* '''SQLite'''
: The project is maintained by three people working at a small private company.
: SQLite is used practically everywhere: Android, iOS, macOS, Windows, Chrome, Firefox, Safari, embedded systems, and IoT devices. It runs serverless, entirely within a single C library, and exists in [https://sqlite.org/mostdeployed.html trillions of instances]. It may well be the most widely deployed software in history, especially when measured per developer.

* '''IANA tz database'''
: The project is maintained by Paul Eggert, who was born in Nebraska

* '''sudo'''
: sudo is a shell command on Unix-like operating systems that enables a user to run a program with the security privileges of another user, by default the superuser. Since it has become open-source in 1994, its only maintainer software engineer Todd C. Miller (whose profile picture on Github is taken from [[149: Sandwich]], which also gave the project its sandwich logo) from Colorado, [https://github.com/sudo-project/sudo/graphs/contributors author of 97% of the project's over 13,000 commits]. In February 2026, he announced that he was looking for someone to take over.

The current model of libraries and open-source development (topics which Randall has addressed extensively in the past) relies heavily on the free and continued dedication of unpaid hobbyists. Though some major projects such as Linux may be able to garner enough attention to build an organization, many smaller projects, which are in turn reused by larger projects, may only be maintained by one person, either the founder or another who has taken the torch. Maintaining libraries requires both extensive knowledge of the library itself as well as any use cases and the broader community around it, which usually is suited for maintainers who have spent years at the task, and thus cannot be easily replaced. Thus, there are many abandoned projects on the internet as people move on to greener pastures. Far from the days of backwards compatibility, that's usually not a problem, unless a project happens to be far up the dependency chain, as illustrated, in which case there may be a crisis down the road for both the developers and the users down the chain.

==Transcript==
:[A tower of blocks is shown. The upper half consists of many tiny blocks balanced on top of one another to form smaller towers, labeled:]
:All modern digital infrastructure

:[The blocks rest on larger blocks lower down in the image, finally on a single large block. This is balanced on top of a set of blocks on the left, and on the right, a single tiny block placed on its side. This one is labeled:]
:A project some random person in Nebraska has been thanklessly maintaining since 2003

== Derivates and variations ==
This graphic has influenced many to adapt it to express specific nuances and other perspectives to the subject of dependency in software and the Internet.

Interactive demonstration:
* https://editor.p5js.org/isohedral/full/vJa5RiZWs (click and drag any block)

Some notable mentions:
* https://mastodon.social/@chechar/115571726910318246

== References ==
<references/>
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Programming]]

1354: Heartbleed Explanation

2026-06-14T16:18:14Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1354
| date = April 11, 2014
| title = Heartbleed Explanation
| image = heartbleed_explanation.png
| titletext = Are you still there, server? It's me, Margaret.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Heartbleed bug}} was, at the time of publication of this comic, receiving a lot of news coverage recently and was also the topic of the previous comic [[1353: Heartbleed]]. This comic explains how the bug may have been discovered and can be exploited to reveal a server's memory contents.

A [[Megan]]-like character named Margaret (or "Meg") sends heartbeat requests to the server, the server responds to the heartbeat request by returning the contents of the body of the request up to the number of letters requested. The first two requests are well formed, requesting exactly the number of characters in the request body. The server's memory is showing Meg's request with many other requests going on at the same time.

Meg then ponders this and tries to submit another request asking for "HAT" but requests that it be 500 letters long instead of only 3; the server —not checking it or simply unaware that 500 letters is larger than the request body— returns "HAT" plus 497 letters that happened to be next to the word "HAT" in its memory (more will follow than are shown in the server's speech bubble as there are only 251 letters/symbols in the shown reply). Included are many sensitive bits of information, including a master key and user passwords. One of the passwords shown is "CoHoBaSt", a reference to [[936: Password Strength]], which suggests using "<u>co</u>rrect <u>ho</u>rse <u>ba</u>ttery <u>st</u>aple" as a password.

Often popular explanations of security bugs require the issue to be simplified a lot and to leave out a lot of details. In this case [[Randall]] didn't have to do much simplifying; the bug is actually that simple. Also, any client that can connect to the server can typically exploit this bug in the underlying {{w|OpenSSL}} software — the use of the term "User Meg" does not imply that Meg had to authenticate first.

Although Randall shows Meg recording the data by hand, on paper, it is more likely that a person exploiting the bug would have a computer record the data, perhaps on its hard drive or on a flash drive. However one could argue that such a person would not communicate to the server by speaking out loud either.

The title text is a reference to ''{{w|Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.}}'', a novel by {{w|Judy Blume}}, and plays off of the "server, are you still there?" line in every panel where she did start a request. The novel is also the theme of [[1544: Margaret]]. ''Meg'' can be a nickname for ''Margaret'' as well as ''[[Megan]]'' whom Margaret resembles.

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panels:]
:'''How the Heartbleed Bug works:'''

:[Meg, a girl with more curly hair than Megan, stands to the left in a panel. At the center of the panel is a black and gray server with red and green diode lights showing. During all six panels the server stays the same. Meg is standing with her arms down in four panels. It will be noted when she does not. Meg talks to the server. The server "thinks" all the time, i.e. we see its memory in all panels. The top and bottom line is breaking the edge of the thought bubble making it difficult to discern. In every second panel it replies to Meg. In these panels the number of letters requested by Meg is highlighted with yellow color.]

:[Meg speaks, server thinks:]
:Meg: Server, are you still there? If so, reply "POTATO" (6 letters).
:Server thinking: <tt>wants pages about "boats". User Erica requests secure connection using key "4538538374224" '''User Meg wants these 6 letters: POTATO.''' User Ada wants pages about "irl games". Unlocking secure records with master key 5130985733435. Maggie (chrome user) sends this message: "Hi</tt>

:[Server thinks, the same as above, although cut a little different at the edges, with POTATO highlighted in yellow and it replies the highlighted part in a rectangular speak bubble.]
:Server thinking: <tt>wants pages about "boats". User Erica requests secure connection using key "4538538374224" '''User Meg wants these 6 letters: POTATO.''' User Ada wants pages about "irl games". Unlocking secure records with master key 5130985733435. Maggie (chrome user) sends this message: "Hi</tt>
:Server: <tt>POTATO</tt>

:[Meg speaks, server thinks:]
:Meg: Server, are you still there? If so, reply "BIRD" (4 letters).
:Server thinking: <tt>User Olivia from London wants pages about "man bees in car why". Note: Files for IP 375.381.283.17 are in /tmp/files-3843. '''User Meg wants these 4 letters: BIRD.''' There are currently 348 connections open. User Brendan uploaded the file selfie.jpg (contents: 834ba962e2ceb9ff89bd3bff8c</tt>...

:[Server thinks, the same as above, although cut a little different at the edges, with BIRD highlighted in yellow and it replies the highlighted part in a rectangular speak bubble. Meg has taken her hand to her chin thinking:]

:Server thinking: <tt>User Olivia from London wants pages about "man bees in car why". Note: Files for IP 375.381.283.17 are in /tmp/files-3843. '''User Meg wants these 4 letters: BIRD.''' There are currently 348 connections open. User Brendan uploaded the file selfie.jpg (contents: 834ba962e2ceb9ff89bd3bff8c</tt>...
:Server: <tt>BIRD</tt>
:Meg: ''Hmm...''

:[Meg has taken her hand down again and speaks, server thinks, now with her line at the top:]

:Meg: Server, are you still there? If so, reply "HAT" (500 letters).
:Server memory: <tt>a connection. Jake requested pictures of deer. '''User Meg wants these 500 letters: HAT.''' Lucas requests the "missed connections" page. Eve (administrator) wants to set server's master key to "14835038534". Isabel wants pages about "snakes but not too long". User Karen wants to change account password to "CoHoBaSt". User</tt>

:[Server thinks, the same as above, although cut a little different at the edges, with everything from (and including) "HAT" highlighted in yellow and it replies the highlighted part and even more in a rectangular speech bubble. Meg has taken a notepad and a pen and is writing something.:]

:Server memory: <tt>a connection. Jake requested pictures of deer. '''User Meg wants these 500 letters: HAT.''' Lucas requests the "missed connections" page. Eve (administrator) wants to set server's master key to "14835038534". Isabel wants pages about "snakes but not too long". User Karen wants to change account password to "CoHoBaSt". User</tt>
:Server: <tt>HAT. Lucas requests the "missed connections" page. Eve (administrator) wants to set server's key to "14835038534". Isabel wants pages about "snakes but not too long". User Karen wants to change account password to "CoHoBaSt". User Amber requests pages</tt>

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Computer security]]

3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-14T05:01:49Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3257
| date = June 10, 2026
| title = Beam Pipe
| image = beam_pipe_2x.png
| imagesize = 309x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was found with a Physics Nobel Prize. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
With pipes such as hosepipes, water can come out in a more rapid and more concentrated stream by covering up part of the exit nozzle with an object, such as a finger. This forces the water to come out of a smaller space, increasing the effective pressure. As the {{w|Large Hadron Collider|LHC}} can be considered a sort of "pipe" (a beam pipe, as pointed out in the comic title), this comic makes the ridiculous assumption that the same logic applies there, and its beam can be concentrated and redirected by partially covering the end of the beam. This wouldn't work in real life: the relativistic particles would not behave as a fluid. It may be that it would annihilate the thumb (or possibly just mildly irradiate it, depending on the intensity) and create a broad spray, instead of narrowing the beam. In any case, the pipe being partly open would have already have destroyed the vacuum-like conditions necessary to properly maintain the particle beam.

The title text expands the joke, once more treating the LHC as if it were a hosepipe. Applying the effect above to a hosepipe is a common thing for children to do — often to spray family and friends with the pressurized water. This applies the same logic to the LHC, imagining the mother of "physics" (the science, as opposed to a person) telling off their presumably adult child for "spraying their colleagues with the beam" — something very incomprehensible in real life.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A picture shows a (partly obscured by the panel) particle accelerator (namely this one being the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Megan is shown on a stepladder, covering the beam pipe with her thumb. Cueball is shown standing behind the ladder, watching.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:This year's physics Nobel will go to the scientists who figured out that you could make the Large Hadron Collider more powerful by covering part of the beam pipe with your thumb.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]

3258: Plate Flip

2026-06-14T04:55:57Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3258
| date = June 12, 2026
| title = Plate Flip
| image = plate_flip_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, landscape, etc.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was FOUND ON THE UNDERSIDE OF THE CONTINENT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

[[Ponytail]] resumes her role as a cosmic home inspector.

She asks [[Cueball]] when the last time he flipped the {{w|tectonic plates}}, because they look heavily eroded. This may be an allusion to the practice of turning mattresses over every few months. This was common until the 20th century, to even out the wear and tear, and prevent permanent body impressions. When modern box springs became common, the practice became unnecessary.

Flipping mattresses only makes sense because both sides are similar to each other, but the "underside" of a plate is nothing like the surface. The current side that Cueball and Ponytail are standing on is the outermost layer of the {{w|Earth's crust|crust}}. However, the "underside" of the plate reaches until the solid layer of the {{w|mantle (geology)|mantle}}, whose temperature can reach over 1000 °C. As Cueball points out, if you could flip a continent over, the new surface would be molten rock, not a surface suitable for life. Ponytail thinks the warmth would be soothing, and that walking on it would {{w|exfoliation (cospmetology)|exfoliate}} your feet, but at hundreds of degrees, it would do far more damage than just removing dead skin.{{cn}}

The title text expands on this joke, saying that it would "exfoliate" just about everything on the surface (which would somehow have to stay in place while the plate below it is flipped).

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:Ponytail: These tectonic plates look pretty eroded. When did you last flip them?
:Cueball: Flip them?

:Ponytail: Yeah, to use the underside of the continent.
:Cueball: ...Never?
:Ponytail: Wow. Explains the eons of weathering, debris basins, and ... is this isostatic depression?
:Cueball: It's rebounding!

:Ponytail: You should really flip it. You'll get a whole new landscape!
:Cueball: But I like '''''this''''' landscape!

:Ponytail: Just think how warm and fresh the other side will feel.
:Cueball: A sea of molten rock?
:Ponytail: Good for the feet. Helps exfoliate.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Geology]]

Talk:what if? articles

2026-05-26T20:50:40Z

1234231587678:

{{TOC}}Note: I moved over the discussion page from my [[User talk:FaviFake|talk page]], which is where the merger of the two what if? indexes was initially coordinated and organized. Most of the topics below were originally created on [[User talk:FaviFake]]. Thanks! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 09:21, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

----
==Introduction to coordinate the merger==
Hey! This is intended to be a space to coordinate the merging of the two tables. I see that [[User:1234231587678]] and [[User:Apollo11]] have been helping us create the two tables! I'm messaging you to coordinate a little bit. Since we're the 3 most active editors, let's coordinate!

My idea for the table was the following: there would be one single sortable table instead of two, and the information density would be very high. There were the columns I had in mind:

* N

* Date (the date YYYY-MM-DD, and then includes week after prev. article)

* Thumbnail

* Title (hyperlinked)

* Reader's question

* Randall's answer

* Book - in something like this format: '''WI?2, n. 40''' (BOOK1,2,3, nr. ARTICLE NUMBER), which is easily sortable by book - for unnumbered, use the assumed number with an asterisk like this: 69* - this column would also be color coded, by book - this would also contain the title in the book if different - empty when not in any book

* YT (the date YYYY-MM-DD, and then a hyperlinked link with the YT title. if the title is the same, don't repeat it) empty when not on YT

----

I realise my mistake was listing the things we had to do together with the huge task, merging the tables! So what happened is you both contributed, but each of you contribued to a different table. In an attempt to solve this, i have created my own table, which is ready to receive the two additional columns!

'''I believe this third table (available at [[User:FaviFake]]) is the best option for us to work on the index together, so that once it has the 2 additional columns and contains all the articles, we can put it on the blog page and delete the [[What If? chapters]] table. What do you think?'''

I have also made other adjustments:

*Made the Date column nowrap, so the date doesn't wrap around, and made the first column (N) centered and '''bold'''

*Turned each Reader's question cell italic, and added quotation marks to the start and end of each cell. Ex: HOW OLD? becomes ''"HOW OLD?"''

* In the Randall's answer column, split the rows into one per question. For example, if there are 5 bullet points in 1 cell, split the "Reader's question" and the "Randall's answer" columns into 5 rows for that particular Article so that each question has its own mini-row.

*Added file link to all rows so you can just click to go straight to the upload file page.

*<s>'''Downgrade''': titles aren't hyperlinked</s> - {{Done}} Update: I manually hyperlinked all of them!
'''
*'''Downgrade''': the last ~100 articles are missing. I'll try to add them the day after tomorrow! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:06, 17 January 2025 (UTC)

:Regarding the additional 2 columns: I've been thinking a lot about how we should do them. I see 4 options:

:*'''Option 1: Separate Tables''' - separate tables for the YouTube video information and book information, and link articles across tables using the "N" column (or another unique identifier like the title). Advantages: Keeps sorting straightforward in each table. Maintains the integrity of your original table while allowing for sorting by videos and books in their respective tables. Flexible for adding future metadata. Disadvantages: Requires users to cross-reference between tables, which can be inconvenient.

:*'''Option 2: Expand Rows with Sub-Rows''' - How it works: For each article, add one or two additional sub-rows (One for YouTube video information (e.g., YT video number, link, title, thumbnail), and one for book information (e.g., book number, article number, title, color-coded cell). Advantages: Keeps all information together, visually grouped by article. Makes it easy to see all data without leaving the main table. Disadvantages: Sub-rows might disrupt column sorting. Could make the table visually cluttered for articles with both video and book.

:*'''Option 3: Additional Columns''' - new columns for: (FIRST COLUMN) YouTube video number, link, title, and thumbnail, and, (SECOND COLUMN) Book name, article number, title, and color-coding. Advantages: Sorting by videos or books is easy. Keeps all information in a single row. Disadvantages: The table becomes much wider, which can reduce readability on smaller screens. Many empty cells for articles without video or book.

:I've also thought about using a template. What do you think of the idea of a creating a template like these:

{{Done}} UPDATE: i did create the templates! See the top of [[User:FaviFake]]! <s>

<nowiki>{{yt|YTNUMBER (1, 2, 3, etc)|YTLINK|VIDEOTITLE (optional)}}</nowiki>

:It would be used in the column that we still need to create. It would also colour the cell in '''red'''. I was also thinking of doing a similar thing for the What If? books:

<nowiki>{{bk|WHICH-BOOK|CHAPTER-NUMBER|CHAPTER-TITLE (if different)}}</nowiki>

:For example, it would look like this (This one would also colour the cell based on the book, e.g., green for WI?1, yellow for WI?2, blue for WI10th ed.):

<nowiki>{{book|2|69|Jellyfish}}</nowiki>

What If? 2, chapter '''69: Jellyfish'''

:Would someone be able to create something like this? I know nothing about templates, and i doubt I'll be able to ask chatgpt to do everything for me correctly. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 10:28, 18 January 2025 (UTC)<s>
</s>
==1234231587678==
::I saw your message, and this would be a good idea to coordinate. Maybe also add the missing "Peptides" that was accidentally released on the blog, as index 153 (i think) or have two articles with the same index number, just putting "current" for the current article. --[[User:1234231587678|1234231587678]] ([[User talk:1234231587678|talk]]) 20:47, 17 January 2025 (UTC)

::Also I think the "0w later" or "1w later" on the comics looks a bit odd, maybe remove them entirely? The dates are already present. --[[User:1234231587678|1234231587678]] ([[User talk:1234231587678|talk]]) 20:49, 17 January 2025 (UTC)

:::Thanks for replying! I LOVE the idea of inserting the Peptides article directly in the index. It would technically make it a little less official, but I'm all for it. It looks and feels like a proper article.

:::I also fully agree with you regarding the '''1w later''' line! I do like the idea of seeing the frequency right from the index, but it's too much right now. My idea is to remove the "1w later" part, but leave it in for the articles that aren't released a week after the previous one. For example, this would keep the '''2w later''' and '''0w later''' lines for the articles that have them, but declutter the date cells of the "normal" ones. What do you think?

:::I can't do it right now, but it should be easy. We can also delay it until all articles are on the table, so we only have to do it once. Btw, I hope to get all the articles on the table by the day after tomorrow or the day after that. Meanwhile, you or other editors can add the 2 columns (Book and YT)! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 22:14, 17 January 2025 (UTC)

I currently don't have the books, so can't help with that, but I've added a few YT videos. Also the book template seems to be buggy (and/or a WIP), so I removed it from the 1st article. ALSO, the YT template display {5}<sup>th</sup> instead of 5th; weird. --[[User:1234231587678|1234231587678]] ([[User talk:1234231587678|talk]]) 15:13, 19 January 2025 (UTC)

:Thank you so much! I fixed the YT template, let me know if there are any other issues. Also, you '''can''' help with books, even if you don't have them! All you need to do is look at the page [[What If? chapters]], which catalogues every chapter of every book. The <s>[[Template:book]]</s> i was trying to create is broken because I gave up trying to make it work (1h and 20min of my life wasted). Anyways, we now have 4 different templates, one for each book (the fourth is a placeholder!): [[Template:book1]], [[Template:book2]], [[Template:book3]], [[Template:book4]]. There are instructions on hot to use them on their page. Please continue adding the videos and the books if you can! This is exactly what we need! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:18, 19 January 2025 (UTC)

==Apollo11==
This a big page so I’m not sure I’m in the right spot (also typing one handed so sorry for mistakes). I like the table on you page, however I did notice it’s missing which book it’s in and the YouTube channel. I love how the one I edited was formatted, I think if you added that table to your existing table it’d be perfect. I would also add a page number for the books. [[User:Apollo11|Apollo11]] ([[User talk:Apollo11|talk]]) 16:34, 18 January 2025 (UTC)

Ok just saw the three options. I’d go with either 1 or 3. 1 would look the best and probably be easiest to find what you’re looking for as long as your have links to the other tables very clear. What I would do is have a table with title, and where to find the article (blog, book 1, book 2, YouTube). Then have a 4 tables, one for each, where you can go more in depth about each article, date, explanation, jokes, things like that. Option 3 would be the simplest, and if that’s what you wanna do, I’d have the simplest things on the left and the more complicated things on the right. So the date and title would be in the left and the e explanation would be far to the right. You’ve probably been thinking about this a lot longer than me so I’m probably missing something, so please tell me if I’m wrong abo it anything. Also if my comment is in the wrong spot feel free to move me to the right conversation. I’d love to help in anyway!! Just give me directions and I’ll do by best!! [[User:Apollo11|Apollo11]] ([[User talk:Apollo11|talk]]) 16:58, 18 January 2025 (UTC)

: Thanks so much for your interest! I thought about it a lot today, and i landed on 1, huge, information-laden table. I think having 3 or 4 tables would be too confusing and too hard to navigate. Plus, i think i found a good way to avoid making the table too wide. I added a few articles to showcase it. I don't have a lot of time to do all of them. Regarding the page number, I used the chapter number since it's easier for people who don't own the books.

: > I’d love to help in anyway!! Just give me directions and I’ll do by best!!
: Love it! You can do everything that's listed at the top of [[User:FaviFake]], but the first one might be more annoying to do on a phone (I'm not sure where you're editing from, actually). If you don't understand something on that page, please do let me know. I promise i'll answer quicker next time. ;) --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 20:03, 19 January 2025 (UTC)

:: Looks great!! I’ll get on it sometime early next week!! (Ftr I’m usually on a phone but sometimes I’ll go over to a computer for bigger projects, like added links and full researched paragraphs) [[User:Apollo11|Apollo11]] ([[User talk:Apollo11|talk]]) 20:56, 19 January 2025 (UTC)

::: Amazing! I hope I'll have added all the missing articles by the day after tomorrow. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 21:30, 19 January 2025 (UTC)

==Adding the book-exclusive articles==
I noticed that there’s not a column for if the article is in the blog. I also don't think some of the ones in the book that aren’t on the blog are in there. Please correct me if I’m wrong. [[User:Apollo11|Apollo11]] ([[User talk:Apollo11|talk]]) 18:17, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

:Yeah, I’ve noticed that some of the What If? Chapters aren’t in the table. I think that we should add them in too '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 18:42, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

::Thank you all for pointing it out! And again sorry it took me so long, I'm not good at prioritising. (but at least today i did something! I fixed both the YouTube template, there are new instructions on [[User:FaviFake]], and the book templates when used in merged cells. Anyways!)
::I had forgotten the other table also contained the book-exclusive questions! Of course we should add them! We need to think about this before doing anything though. I have so many questions!

*In what order do we put them? Unfortunately, the chapter of the book are mixed between non-excusive and exclusive.
*Do we need all the columns?
N Date Thumbnail Title Reader's question Randall's answer Books YouTube
**What happens to the unnecessary columns? We could merge them, but I'm not sure whether the sorting will work if we merge them.
*Should we change the columns, so that the '''blog number''' column is more similar to the '''Book''' and '''YouTube''' columns? Or are blog articles more important because they fill all the cells, while book-exclusives don't have all the same info?
*Is there ANY way you can think of to make the insertion of these articles into the existing index seamless? I'm usually on the side of one big index instead of many little indexes, but I'm having a hard time figuring this out. One of the main reasons I wanted to do this project was so that people wouldn't need to move between 2 different tables to see all articles.

::One way could be to just add all book-exclusive articles, each in their own row, in a big dump on the release date of the book. Even tho it would technically be in chronological order, i don't really like the idea. Please send all your thought! There must me something I'm not thinking of, or something I've been thinking wrong about! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 18:10, 22 January 2025 (UTC)

----

::* What order do we put them in
:: I would do it in the same order as the other table, blog articles first in chronological, what if chapters in chapter order. I believe the YouTube channel is all old questions, but if he posts a new one, then put that below the books.
::* change blog columns
::I think you should move the blog date and number to after randalls answer, similar to the books, and for the date for book exclusives maybe jus the book release date? Or NA.
::* unessery colums
:: Example?
::* Seamless integration
::Just stick them on the bottom, the exact same way you’d put another blog article on the bottom.
::I think that covers it all? [[User:Apollo11|Apollo11]] ([[User talk:Apollo11|talk]]) 19:15, 22 January 2025 (UTC)

:::Sticking the chapters at the end was the same idea I had, and I think that we can just put (What If? Exclusive) inside the date part of the table. '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 19:22, 22 January 2025 (UTC)

::::Thanks for replying so quickly! I don't have time right now to read everything but I can already tell that this is much easier than I thought it would be. I'll answer tomorrow. Before i start overthinking everything: What would you put inside the columns thumbnail, Question, and Answer? Just empty? I'm trying to think of something useful.
::::Also, what do you think of merging the N (blog) column and the Date columns, just like we do with the YouTube column? Would there be any downsides?
:::: I hope I'm not preventing it edits by not adding the articles quickly, in the meantime you can help by adding YT videos, now that the template works! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 21:31, 22 January 2025 (UTC)

::::: I think that the YT videos are all added? At least the blog ones and not the What If? exclusive ones. Or maybe Restricted Mode on my home wifi is blocking some. But I think that it’s all done? Tried my best anyways '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 03:52, 23 January 2025 (UTC)

::::::This is great news, thanks! I didn't know there were YouTube videos on book-exclusive articles! I'll get started, this is my plan:
::::::*The book articles are positioned like the old [[What If? chapters]] table.
::::::*New column setup:
Thumbnail Title Reader's question Randall's answer '''Blog (this contains both N and Date)''' Books YouTube
::::::*The sometimes-unnecessary columns are left empty.
::::::*The '''Blog''' column is more similar to the '''Book''' and '''YouTube''' columns: it has a template and colors the cell light blue.

::::::I feel great about this! We're getting near the finish line. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:36, 23 January 2025 (UTC)

:::::::I think that I added all the What If? And What If? 2 chapters to the table for the ones that were copied from the blog '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 23:48, 23 January 2025 (UTC)

::::::::Love it! I hope i'll be able to add some of the missing articles today, but i might not be able to do them all (or any at all). --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 18:01, 24 January 2025 (UTC)

::::::::{{Done}} I did it! You can now add the missing YT videos :) {{unsigned|FaviFake|20:49, 24 January 2025 (UTC)}}

:::::::::Doing it now! '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 21:24, 24 January 2025 (UTC)

::::::::::based on the 20 videos that I can see on the YT channel, ALL YT VIDEOS HAVE BEEN ADDED! '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 21:39, 24 January 2025 (UTC)

:::::::::::We actually did it! Now all that's left are the explanations, which i'm sure people will prefer doing over merging 2 wikipedia tables. There's just one small problem: I searched for "Featured in What If?," and instead of 69 results, i got 67. This means two of the articles that are both in the book and in the blog haven't been added. Do you think you could figure out which ones? I also checked the other book and the YouTube videos, and they're all there, it's just the first book. Again, thank you so much for all your work, it would've likely taken weeks to get to this point without your efforts! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 11:21, 25 January 2025 (UTC)

ok, i’ll poke around and see if i can find them. also, I GOT WHAT IF? 10TH ANNIVERSARY! i can add the bonus chapter that is at the end-it’s basically “what if we tried more power” when blasting away at the moon with lasers. '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 21:22, 25 January 2025 (UTC)

:Congrats on the book! I didn't buy it because i have the original, it's great that someone here owns it. Can you describe in a little more detail the last chapter? I don't understand a few things: does the second YouTube video say exactly the same thing as the blog article? Why are there two videos about 1 article? Or is the second YT video only about the Bonus Chapter in the book, which goes even further than the blog article? Is that bonus chapter not in any other book or blog? Thanks! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 11:13, 26 January 2025 (UTC)
:Also, is the chapter only called Bonus Chapter, or does it also have other names? --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 18:15, 26 January 2025 (UTC)

==Sorting "Chapter xx.."==
Hi... An alternative to the way you are lead-zeroing the text cell's numeric suffix, for sorting purposes, which is what I think {{diff|363528|this is all about}}, would be to do so something like:
... || data-sort-value={{{1}}} | Chapter {{{1}}} || ...
Should be able to deal with any numeric value, while still rendering it simply as "Chapelter 1"/"Chapter 10"/"Chapter 100"/ etc, but adding ''data-sort-type="number"'' to the header cell might even be able to sort not-quite-numbers, should a future book ever do chapters like "... 7, 7a, 9, 10, 11, 12, 12b, 14, ...".
<br />Perhaps even ''data-sort-value=<booknumber>.<chapternumber>'' would be useful. Though you'd have to use the sufficient-leading-zeroes method, again, and could start at 1.0000001 ''just'' in case there's ever a million (but not more than 10mil-1) chapters in a future bookbut would probably be useful to sort all book-contained items, across all books but not interleaved.
<br/>I'll let you consider if/what you find it more useful. And perhaps check if I've given you the right table markup options by going and checking the Help:Sorting Tables/whatever pages. ;) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.107|141.101.99.107]] 00:01, 26 January 2025 (UTC)

:I agree that the current method isn't great, and I'm very glad to see there's another, better way. Unfortunately, I don't really understand most of what you said. BUT! You seem very experienced and I don't have a lot of time, so it would be perfect if you could edit directly the templates/table/cells/whatever needs to be changed. The best option is to remove the leading zeroes and still make the sorting work, for the blog, books, and YT templates. If you (or someone else) could do that, it'd be wonderful. Please feel free to try it yourself if you want! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 11:13, 26 January 2025 (UTC)

== weird table bugs ==

hey favifake, i found two bugs that i don’t really know how to fix in the table: one of them is in regard to the what if 2 template, whenever it has a “S2” or a “W1” “chapter” it gives an error. the second bug can be found on the laser pointer row-i added the what if? 10th anniversary template, but the yt template doesn’t “fit” (for lack of a better word) with the table. could you dig into these and try to figure out what has gone wrong? thanks! '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 00:55, 26 January 2025 (UTC)

:Hey 42! I saw what you were trying to do, i think i fixed it now? I removed the '''book3''' template from the original '''Laser Pointer''' row because all original articles are technically in the 10th Ann. book. (i added "exclusively on" to the '''book3''' template to make it clearer). Regarding the other S1 bug, i don't know why but it seems fixed now?? I saw the error just a few hours ago and now it works. I have no idea what happened. Let me know if it reappears or something. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 11:13, 26 January 2025 (UTC)

----

:Without going in and trying it myself, is this because of the "trying to zero-pad a number" thing (as given a possible alternative, above), because it can't test if <usually number, in this case text> is greater/less than <static number>?
:Quick-fix (not doing anything else new) would need the test enclosed with an isthisanumber? test (if so, do zero-padding testing, etc; if not, maybe don't try).
:Exactly how S2/W1 sorts (or doesn't) using the sorting data (bare number only!) and/or the forced data type as number (to do its best for what numeric data it is presented, despite occasional non-numeric interloping characters), would need testing.
:Or I misunderstand. But, ''if'' I don't, maybe this is useful additional pointer to a solution/acceptance of the problem. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.178.123|172.71.178.123]] 01:21, 26 January 2025 (UTC)

::IP user, I answered above. :) --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 11:13, 26 January 2025 (UTC)
== Interesting streamlined 'table furniture', but... ==

...I'm wondering about the current (slight) usage differences between:
style="text-align:center" | {{{1}}}
and:
style="white-space:nowrap" |
Do you need to add the Param1 to the nowrap/remove if from the text-alignment?

And what if someone wanted no-wrap+centre at the same time? There maybe ''are'' ways to combine <code><nowiki>{{ac|<foo>}}</nowiki></code> and <code><nowiki>{{nw}}</nowiki></code>, but it seems non-trivial to to do. (Unless you make a <code><nowiki>{{nwac}}</nowiki></code>, but then where do you end?) I'm wondering if you should try it without the |-character.

Let's see if that ''could'' work:
{| class="wikitable" style="margin:auto"
|+ Test
|-
! Foo !! Bar !! Baz
|-
| Normal text of a normal style || style="text-align:center" style="white-space:nowrap" | This is as if using variations <code><nowiki>{{ac|<foo>}}</nowiki></code> and <code><nowiki>{{nw}}</nowiki></code> as rendered without the pipe-character or inconsistent parameter, which is tricky to demonstrate with the actual templates.|| More normal text of a normal style
|-
| Normal text of a normal style || style="text-align:center" | style="white-space:nowrap" | This is how <code><nowiki>{{ac|{{nw}} <foo>}}</nowiki></code> might look || More normal text of a normal style
|-
| Normal text of a normal style || {{ac|{{nw}} This is how <code><nowiki>{{ac|{{nw}} <foo>}}</nowiki></code> ''does'' look, using the current state of the templates.
----
<s>''NB. Why is it in bold? Is that a normal feature of a style of text-align:center?''</s>}}
| More normal text of a normal style
|-
| Normal text of a normal style || style="white-space:nowrap" | style="text-align:center" | This is how <code><nowiki>{{nw}} {{ac|<foo>}}</nowiki></code> might look || More normal text of a normal style
|-
| Normal text of a normal style || {{nw}} {{ac|This is how <code><nowiki>{{nw}} {{ac|<foo>}}</nowiki></code> ''does'' look, using the current state of the templates.}}
----
<s>''Also goes bold, I notice!''</s>
| More normal text of a normal style
|}

So, yes, it looks like it might be better to just remove the pipe (or pipe-and-param) and rely on the table-writer to just put in the relevent bare style-giving {{}} (or {{}}s) before the pipe. (I must look into why there's unexpected boldness. I don't know if that comes from the way you templated it or as an associated function of the aligh-center style. But it doesn't appear when I do it 'raw'.) Anyway, food for thought, over to you. It looks like I ''could'' edit your templates, but that might be rude, and would of course instantly break whatever it is you're currently using them (singly) for. That's the ''What If?'' table, I suppose? Anyway, you can both 'fix' how they work and adjust how they are invoked, rather than leaving me to guess about the latter. ;) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.49|162.158.74.49]] 19:04, 17 January 2025 (UTC)
:PS: Yes, I have just checked, and, yes you've added (apparently ''after'' I saw and copied the original {{template|ac}} for my own testing and emulating purposes!) the bolding to the aligh-centering template. That part of the mystery is solved! :P [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.49|162.158.74.49]] 19:10, 17 January 2025 (UTC)
:PPS: I know what happened. I copied the (slightly '''formatted''') 'plaintext' as it appeared in the template. If I'd have edited it and copied the wikisource then I'd have grabbed the <nowiki>'''formatted''</nowiki> as you already had it by the time I passed by. Don't mind me, it was just something that made me wonder. Probably moreso than the thing that I was ''actually'' trying to prod and poke and solve! IOW: Ignore me. On this bit, at least! [[Special:Contributions/172.68.205.151|172.68.205.151]] 19:32, 17 January 2025 (UTC)

::I love how interested you are about this! Honestly i'm not really sure what exactly it is you're asking, but you seem very smart so do whatever you want! My only request is that the {{:ac}} thing keeps working as expected, so i don't have to change the table again. I had forgotten about the {{:nw}} thing, you can delete it or change it or do anything else, I don't use it anymore. Feel free to add to the documentation that these are just for 1 table and might break everything if used anywhere else. Or, if they already work everywhere, great! I remember I created them expecting the entire page to be destroyed when used, and being pleasantly surprised when they worked. So yeah go wild! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 21:19, 17 January 2025 (UTC)
:::I'm not going to make any change without taking time to check your tables and making sure the appropriate change doesn't inflict damage on your attempts to curate the tables you're probably using it for.
:::But, in short, I understand that you're streamlining the (often longwinded) style="" statements, an admirble task. In the structure of "| cell || another cell || etc", you're doing something to save from having to do cumbersome "| cell || style="this-style: that; that-style: that; the-other-style: the.other" | another cell || etc", all of which makes editing 'difficult'. (I tend to do such things in Notepad, or whatever separate text editor I have, which lets me add temporary whitespace and use with no-wrap on the markup while I'm working on it, rather than in this textbox editor.)
::: But the single-pipe that formats the cell isn't a ''great'' difficulty to maintain (indeed, it is useful to line up). As such I'd suggest "| cell || <nowiki>{{??}}</nowiki> | another cell || etc" would be as good. i.e. leave the pipe (intended for the table-cell) out of the template. For the no-wrap version, that's easy enough. Though I do understand that you want to put bold-format about the cell contents, so that's why you give it as a param and explicitly bold the Param1 as you pass it back out.
::: Maybe the solution to ''that'' is to also add (to the style, along with the text-align:center) the "font-weight: bold" doublet. Then "... || <format(s), as templates and/or raw> | Cell Text || ..." doesn't ''need'' to 'enclose' the Cell Text in any way.
::: But making the change from something that expects to transclude the <u>range of the template</u> "... || <u>format | Cell Text</u> || ..." to "... || <u>format</u> | Cell Text || ..." obviously requires that each and every table-cell item that uses "... || <nowiki>{{template|Cell Text}}</nowiki> || ..." to be converted to "... || <nowiki>{{template}}</nowiki> | Cell Text || ...", or... it'll definitely not work as it was originally set.
::: Anyway, that's just my own vision of how you can do what you seem to have wanted to, without introducing more complications. As the cell-formatting gladly accepts multiple statements of the form style="..." (it adds <code>style="..." style="..." style="..."</code> together, much as <code>style="...; ...; ..."</code> does), an editor now has complete freedom to compound the two format-templates you created. And any additional ones that might be useful. Such ones to usefully colour cell backgrounds as red/yellow/green (for use on the various Confusion Tables), something that I sometimes take a couple of goes to do... not least because I habitually spell 'color' as 'colour'..! ;)
::: ...but that's just to explain so that (should you/anybody else wish to follow my own instincts on the matter), you have some decent idea of what I'm getting at. There are probably other ways of doing it. Templates can be made to detect and extract pipes, so that "... || <u><nowiki>{{template1|{{templete2|Cell Text}}}}</nowiki></u> || ..." ''or'' "... || <u><nowiki>{{template2|{{templete1|Cell Text}}}}</nowiki></u> || ..." would equally produce "... || <u>templateOneOrTwoFormat templateTwoOrOneFormat | Cell Text</u> || ...", but that would take a degree of of unwieldy parameter-processing functions (that I'd have to work out, probably would involve some subst-function, but might depend upon what's available in the installed mediawiki version). I just think you could avoid all that trouble! [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.118|162.158.74.118]] 22:51, 17 January 2025 (UTC)

:::Forgot to say, that for what you want to use it for, there's ''another'' way:
{| class="wikitable" style="margin:auto"
|+ Example 2
|-
! Number (Centered) !! Foo !! Bar (Centered) !! Baz
|-
! 1
| Normal text of a normal style
! Some text of whatever size (centered)
| More normal text of a normal style
|-
! 2
| Normal text of a normal style
! Some text of whatever size (also centered, though not so obviously so)
| More normal text of a normal style
|}
:::... This is only possible by newlining each new cell, in the example (you can't do "! cell || cell !! cell || cell", you have to line-break it as you change from "!"-/"|"-starting cell-groups), but it isn't really so great a loss to do so.
:::The "wikitable" class gives these 'header cells' a different background too, but (if you really don't like that) it that can be adjusted in various other ways (including with scope="col", I think), or you can leave the wikitable class off (it centres and bolds, but doesn't give cell-borders) and re-add the whole-table bordering style that this now leaves out. But you really don't want me listing ''every'' idea I had, just this one was the other (template-free) option to enforcing centre-aligning bold text on ''certain'' cells. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.119|162.158.74.119]] 23:09, 17 January 2025 (UTC)

::::Huh, I was actually thinking of doing the opposite of what you're suggesting: include even more pipes inside the template so the editor is cleaner and easier to use. (UPDATE: this probably worse than the other option you gave at the end, see below). So instead of this:

|-
<nowiki>| {{ac|4}} || </nowiki>

::::You would just use this:

|-
<nowiki>{{ac|4}}</nowiki>

::::And it would contain all the pipes needed. I guess then we would have to update the documentation to point out that this template's use case is extremely narrow. Also, if you want to see how it is currently used, the table is on my user page! That's the only place where it's used

::::Since you seem very interested in templates, What do you think of the idea of a creating a template like these:

<nowiki>{{yt|YTNUMBER (1, 2, 3, etc)|YTLINK|VIDEOTITLE (optional)}}</nowiki>

::::It would be used in the column that we still need to create. It would also colour the cell in '''red'''. I was also thinking of doing a similar thing for the What If? books:

<nowiki>{{bk|WHICH-BOOK|CHAPTER-NUMBER|CHAPTER-TITLE (if different)}}</nowiki>

::::For example, it would look like this: (This one would also colour the cell based on the book, e.g., green for WI?1, yellow for WI?2, blue for WI10th ed.)

<nowiki>{{book|2|69|Jellyfish}}</nowiki>

What If? 2, chapter '''69: Jellyfish'''

::::Would you be able to create something like this? I know nothing about templates, and i doubt I'll be able to ask chatgpt to do everything for me correctly. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 07:16, 18 January 2025 (UTC)

:::::> Forgot to say, that for what you want to use it for, there's ''another'' way:
:::::Oh, i think i had forgotten to read this part!! This seems very interesting! I should try that, since it seems much simpler. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 10:10, 18 January 2025 (UTC)

:::::'''Update:''' {{Done}} I applied your suggestion, now the numbers are in their own row:
|-
!1
| The rest of the table
--[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 10:33, 18 January 2025 (UTC)

== What If Chapters ==
Hey FaviFake, there are some What If? Chapters that aren’t included in the blog. Are we going to add them to the table? '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 17:41, 22 January 2025 (UTC)

:Great timing! You sent me this message while i was in the process of replying to the question. I'm not good at prioritising, I should've definitely responded before doing other edits. Check out my <s>list of questions for y'all</s> reply above! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 18:10, 22 January 2025 (UTC)

== YouTube template ==
Hey FaviFake, on the <code><nowiki>{{yt}}</nowiki></code> template, you asked for help on fixing the code of the template. What help do you need to “improve” it? I’m willing to help now that I’m not sick, as I was last week. '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 18:35, 19 January 2025 (UTC)

:Thank you! Glad to hear you're healthy. That message was mostly a joke, but it is in fact barely held together. (Try modifying the hyperlink that's displayed when a title isn't provided, somehow what you add gets duplicated??) If you have the time and know how to make it more reliable and easily editable in the future, please do! I am honstly scared to touch it fearing it might explode.

:Buuut, to be fair there is one template that i desperately needed help with, and that is [[:Template:book]]. I wasted a ton of time to try to get it to change the cell background, and it never worked, so i decided to create [[Template:book1]], [[Template:book2]], [[Template:book3]], [[Template:book4]], and these do work beaytifully, but are harder to edit in bulk. (I still have profound hatred towards [[Template:book]]...). If you actually manage to do what i wanted (which i'm not sure is even clear after the all the mess i've made... ask me if you can't figure it out!), I would be very grateful. PS. I'm not sure if i should warn you, given my very low ability to create templates, but it's definitely not easy, imo.

:I'm not sure how skilled you are at template editing, so if you want, you can absolutely continue uploading the What If? thumbnails like you did a few days ago! I just added [[User:FaviFake|a new batch of articles]] (about 60) thanks to some annoyingly complex jailbreaking of Google's NotebookLM. The new table of course includes the quick 100px link to upload a file. Again, thanks for reaching out! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 19:04, 19 January 2025 (UTC)

::The YT link appears to be going to <nowiki>[[whatever the name of the YouTube video is called]]</nowiki> and not acting as a [youtube.com filler thingy] linking to a YouTube video. I’m going to hit the books on template writing and try to see if I can do anything about it. Cheers! '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 03:11, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

:::Oh great, that's broken too. I didn't even realise it. Thanks!--[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 04:57, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

:Partly because you've removed the bit about how to better sort the book-column elements, but are using the same trick in the youtube-column, and partly because it's easier (more on that in a moment), I've just modified the {{template|yt}} to give it the sort value (of article number) directly. Have not removed the expression test to make "6th video ..." into "06th video ...", for sorting purposes, but I feel confident that you ''can'' do that (and remove the comment about making it give "006th video ...", in future, should that become necessary) if you now so wish.

:For the books, I was thinking that if, instead of <code>="<nowiki>{{{1|0}}}</nowiki>"</code>, you could maybe use <code>="<nowiki>{{#expr:10000+{{{1|0}}}}}</nowiki>"</code> for ''What If?'' (in {{template|book1}}) and <code>="<nowiki>{{#expr:20000+{{{1|0}}}}}</nowiki>"</code> for ''What If? 2'' (in {{template|book2}}), to let it sort by book ''and then'' chapter within book...

:For ''What If? 10th Anniversary Edition'' ({{template|book3}}), I was thinking if you could make the added-to number 11000. Though anything from above 10000+<last chapter number> and below 20000-<last chapter number> would do (and 15000 would work), it leaves room to make any appearance of the 15th anniversary, 20th anniversary, 42nd anniversary, ..., 95th anniversary be able to use the mnemonic offsets of 11500+, 12000+, 14200+, ..., 19500+.. ;) Obviously, it would need revamping if there becomes a centenary edition of Book 1 (or any version of it ever gets ''so many'' "bonus chapters" that it breaks out of its own sequence into the next extant anniversary edition. But you'd need to start adding 100 newly-numbered chapters ''per year'' to do that, so probably not likely. But, right now, the sorting on the "Exclusive to ''What If? 10th Anniversary Edition''" line sorts ''before'' the "NNth chapter of ''What If?''" lines. The above should fix that...

:And the format can be used for other (future?) books and their (possible) reissues: For ''What If? '''N''''', reissued '''YY''' years after the original, that's the number "NYY00", to which you add the chapter number. Fairly futureproofed, but if Randall ''ever'' publishes anything that makes you need to make the offset "NNYYY000" (e.g. for the quarter-of-a-millenium reissue of ''What If? 15'', having a total of 512 chapters being 15250000+[1..512]) then I reckon the requisite changes will be easy enough to handle as and when, swapping in the expanded offset. And... hey... if they're still being written, ''and'' published, then I can only hope I'm still around to be able to add that edition to my bookshelf!

:You could even redo the {{template|book}} idea (parameters of ...|book=#|chapter=#|optional:edition=#?|...) to only ever need to maintain the one source with ''all'' this flexibility. You've already got experience (by the 1st/2nd/3rd/Nth code) with what's needed to translate Book Number(+Edition Number, if applicable) into unique background colour codes.

:The big problem, though, is still the non-numeric chapter 'numbers' in ''WI?2''. I have two (or three) different thoughts about that.

:*For only the numeric bits (currently, in the test for less-than-10, etc; in the above for within the <code>data-sort-value="..."</code>) you might want to switch <code><nowiki>{{{1|0}}}</nowiki></code> with <code><nowiki>{{#if:{{#ifexpr:{{{1|0}}}}}|99|{{{1|0}}}}}{{{1|0}}}</nowiki></code>... This should test the param1 value for being a valid value (or missing, when you already make it zero... though not sure for what circumstance you should consider it validly missing) and using it if it is so, or else using the value "99" (or you could have "0", or "0.5", or whatever floats your boat). Then at least you'd get ''a'' value (that doesn't cause errors), though it probably wouldn't be sorted very precisely (though appear just after/before all other chapters of the book).

:*The other idea is to use <code><nowiki>{{{effectiveChapter|{{{1|0}}}}}}</nowiki></code>, then you can append a parameter of <code>...|effectiveChapter=11.5}}</code> to a non-numeric one sitting between actual chapters 11 and 12 (I haven't checked if that's an actual example, but imagine it is...). Also, for multiple items on page-chapter, you could even have =11.51, =11.52, =11.53, etc, to retain order within the book and ''upon the page''... (You could also give effectiveChapter as "NYYCC(.optional)" format, direct, for ''all'' what if? Numbers, YYearly-editions and CChapters (with possibly sub-positions), come to that, but I don't see that as any simpler a solution as building it in.)

:*The third option would be to use (for hidden sorting-only purpose, mostly) a value of P(.optionalDecimal) either as another numeric parameter or a named one, with P as ''page number'', not chapter number. But, given how hardback vs. paperback (or just another imprint, not necessarily even a Anniversary redo, but I've got the UK edition with an additional UK foreword) ''might'' effect page numbers and/or where end-of-pages interupts any given chapter internals, it's possible that this is not consistent enough. But food for thought, maybe. Only needs to be definitively done once (or thoroughly checked and shuffled along as nevessary if redone to include other changes that require consistency).

:Any of that make sense? Hopefully I've at least given you enough examples to ponder, where not immediately obvious. I'd ''really'' rather not change all your hard work just for the sake of a minor cosmetic change with a possibly major set of retouches, which is one of the reasons why I thought I'd do just the basic Youtube 'sort assisting' bit and let those of you who have already had so much 'fun' (tweaking the table formats) decide if and how you make full use of it. Assuming it isn't (differently) broken, for whatever reason may crop up, it shouldn't be a problem if you do nothing at all more with it (either in the {{template|yt}} or {{template|book#}}s). [[Special:Contributions/172.71.241.26|172.71.241.26]] 14:38, 28 January 2025 (UTC)

*Thank you so much! Would you mind if I moved your message to [[Talk:What If? chapters]], to group everything regarding the index in one place?  Anyways:
*I did the thing on the yt and {{template|blog}} one and it works!

For the books, I was thinking that if, instead of <code>="<nowiki>{{{1|0}}}</nowiki>"</code>, you could maybe use <code>="<nowiki>{{#expr:10000+{{{1|0}}}}}</nowiki>"</code> for ''What If?'' (in {{template|book1}}) and <code>="<nowiki>{{#expr:20000+{{{1|0}}}}}</nowiki>"</code> for ''What If? 2'' (in {{template|book2}}), to let it sort by book ''and then'' chapter within book...
*Done! Thanks! For ({{template|book3}}) i used 30000 to have the chapter in chronological order.

You could even redo the {{template|book}} idea
*Sorry but I'm not touching that... ''thing'' anymore. That template traumatized me (jk! if you want to try fixing it i'd be very happy)

For only the numeric bits (currently, in the test for less-than-10, etc; in the above for within the <code>data-sort-value="..."</code>) you might want to switch <code><nowiki>{{{1|0}}}</nowiki></code> with <code><nowiki>{{#if:{{#ifexpr:{{{1|0}}}}}|99|{{{1|0}}}}}{{{1|0}}}</nowiki></code>... This should test the param1 value for being a valid value (or missing, when you already make it zero... though not sure for what circumstance you should consider it validly missing)
*I'm not sure why that's needed (and also how to actually implement it). What happens if the value is invalid? it seems to work. Or is it required for the other improvements you suggested?

The other idea is...
The third option would be...
*Yeah this seems pretty hard to solve easily (which is why i'd love it if you did it!). I guess it'll stay slightly broken until it becomes a bigger issue. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 16:54, 28 January 2025 (UTC)

::It seems like you just forgot to escape pipe characters in the [[Template:book|book template]] in the table within the switch statement, so it just interpreted the non-formatting statements to be a case grouped with the next 'actual' case [[User:Firestar233|guess who]] ([[User talk:Firestar233|if you desire conversing]] | [[Special:Contributions/Firestar233|what i have done]]) 07:23, 29 January 2025 (UTC)
::BTW I fixed the book template. It should now appear the same as the other templates, and even work with the youtube template [[User:Firestar233|guess who]] ([[User talk:Firestar233|if you desire conversing]] | [[Special:Contributions/Firestar233|what i have done]]) 09:13, 29 January 2025 (UTC)

:::OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! IT ACTUALLY WORKS! What! How! Why!
:::Thanks so much for fixing the template! I can't describe how glad I am to see it working as (and even better than) I wanted. My life is finally complete. I have switched to using your template in the index.
:::The reason there was a YT link in one of the {{template|book}} documentation examples is because I was going insane and likely pasted it there by accident. From what I can tell, you seem to have set up {{template|book}} so well that {{template|book}} accepts a YouTube link as input, while the {{template|yt}} template it's based on doesn't if used by itself (requires only the ID). I love this! Since we're gonna have many YT videos to add, it's great to have a much simpler option which doesn't require extracting the ID of the video. Is there a way you could maybe incorporate this improvement into {{template|yt}} itself? Or maybe you're 10 steps ahead of me and you've already done it (which wouldn't surprise me given the amount of wizardry you used on these bad boys!), and I just didn't notice. Please let me know! And again, thank you so much!!! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:56, 29 January 2025 (UTC)
:::Also, since you've already rendered 4 templates useless thanks to your improvements, why not also add {{template|yt}} to the list of pages to delete, by incorporating it into {{template|book}}? This, unlike {{template|book}}, is absolutely not needed, and I also have no idea if it's as easy as a simple copy-and-paste, or if it requires more work. If it's the latter, please don't do it if you don't want to! I'm just throwing ideas around! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 18:04, 29 January 2025 (UTC)

That IP, here. I (think) I fixed the sorting ''and'' error-fallback issues. I think (without trying to roll back to how you had it) you 'broke the sort' by putting in line-feeds (maybe double-ones), that messed up the table/cell handling. Then you broke the handling by commenting out too much (you needed to "< ! - -" and "- - >", without spaces, without crossing the quotes and |ing boundaries in data-sort-value="..." style="..." and the 'release', by pipe symbol, to cell-contents).
<br/>Recommented for it to work normally, first without the new 'sort assistance' and then with again. Had a look at the error-catcher (went down a blind alley, at first) and made it an explicit "catch all other inputs" for the errororing display, which I formatted in a more obvious manner ''and'' forced to sort to the start. (Well, almost the start. It puts empty cells with no sorting 'ahead' of even the -999 value I made it give any error-caught cells.)
<br/>If it were me, I'd be happy to have {{template|yt}} entirely separate from the {{template|book}} handling. It is mnemonically confusing and adds needless (and possibly error-prone) "if we have far too many params for Book template, feed it all into the Youtube template". Unless you're folding the ''whole'' Youtube template into the body of the Book one (even more work to maintain/debug), it's just adding complication for both server and editors who feel forced to use it. The beauty of the monolithic Book template is that (otherwise identical) "Book N, chapter C, optional new title T" information is trivially similar between different Ns. But it's not my project.
<br/>I'll have a dig about in maybe how to have a table sort "valueless" cells (in reality the empty value of cell absolutely without anything in it) beyond the sort-valued ones. The 'easiest' means I could imagine is to accept <nowiki>{{book|0}}</nowiki>, needing no further params, to create a <code>data-sort-value="999999" |''<blank>''</code> cell-definition, and have every book-column cell without a book-reference explicitly use that (ditto for <nowiki>{{yt|0}}</nowiki> to have the same pre-trap to it). But seems wasteful. A template <nowiki>{{empty}}, or even something like {{e}},</nowiki> (without checking if either of those are free names) could also just give us this behaviour straight off, of course. It's potentially a lot of fuss to make consistent and flexible enough, either way.
<br/>But what I already did probably also needs to be checked for more edge-conditions... I may still have to tweak things when I have a better chance of catching errors (very difficult, on a tablet), and quicker. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.162.196|172.70.162.196]] 21:32, 29 January 2025 (UTC)
:I also think that the book template shouldn't be used for the videos, on the basis that youtube is not a book.
:for the default cell, it would probably take no arguments (i.e. just <nowiki>{{yt}}</nowiki>), and it would also probably be it's own template rather than implemented on each template. However, I have done some digging, and empty cells (cells with no sort value) are given a value of "-infinity", so they sort as the absolute minimum no matter what sort method is used (which means always at the top when sorting ascending). I have been looking to find a way to make a row always sort to the bottom regardless of sort order if the column that is sorted has an empty/valueless cell at that row, but if it exists, it is not documented.
:Interestingly, it is possible to sort by many columns at once by shift-clicking the second column after sorting the first column, and the rows will be sorted within the first sorting. it might be useful for sorting by chapter within each book [[User:Firestar233|guess who]] ([[User talk:Firestar233|if you desire conversing]] | [[Special:Contributions/Firestar233|what i have done]]) 06:51, 30 January 2025 (UTC)
::Yes, a book (or youtube) template could default to whatever seems suitable as sort-value without params, but it might be more obvious if explicitly book(/video) zero. Or caught by <nowiki>{{book|nobook=yet}}</nowiki>, or whatever. I'm trying to think what looks least confusing to future editors (those expanding/editing the table, and/or template(s)), but conflicted about what to anticipate.
::I had indeed been looking to see if the -infinity thing could be overriden by a column header defined <code>blank-sort-value="999999"</code> sort of thing. If nothing else, you'd expect there to be a perceived need to sort a range of cells so that explicit negative and explicit positive contents, either by actual cell value or data-sort-value, to sit either side of blank cells... Not ''all'' the time, as sorting to show blanks ''separate'' from filled rows with actual zeroes is also useful, but it seems to useful not to have been suggested as a configurable change.
::The booknumber*A_LARGE_NUMBER offset to the chapter number is probably one of the most useful ways to sort by (primarily) book, then chapter, as it takes just one click. (I believe clicking the secondary and then clicking the primary does the same job as clicking the primary and shift-clicking the primary.) I see so little use to doing a primary sort by chapter (with or without secondary sorting by books, or any other column's detail), to interleave all chapter 1s and so on, that having a "book #" column and a "chapter(/page) #" column (two cells in sequence easily created by the book template, and could also handle the double-blank needed by book=none implementation, if we went that route) would be just complicating matters in an unnecessary manner. (As opposed to how we've complicated matters in a 'necessary' one!)
::Good catch on bringing the BOOK+CHAPTER sort value out of the #switch, BTW, as I was debating how much of the switch-statement I could treat as generic and not need repeating. (My original idea for the 10th Anniversary version of Book 1 to be effectively "Book1.1" made me still want to option of overriding the N*10000 as being 3=>11000 instead of =>30000, but that could ''still'' be implemented by a bit of "(if N=3, 1.1, else N) times 10000" pre-logic, ''or'' by handling <nowiki>{{book|1.10|...}} instead of {{book|3|...}}</nowiki>. Anyway, not important, either way.)
::...all this is why I left Favi (and you/others) get on with the original restructuring effort without jumping in (despite having two of the three books, and having seen all the youtubes). I had plenty of ideas of what to do, but did not want to restructure anything from what seemed to be a happy little project with its own momentum and targets. I finally gave in when I noticed an impasse being hit, with errors and confusion, to which I since ''hope'' I have provided a net reduction in both. Though it's only the first of these about which I'm fairly confident. ;) Anyway, perhaps I'm sliding back to my position on the sidelines, now... [[Special:Contributions/172.70.91.245|172.70.91.245]] 11:20, 30 January 2025 (UTC)
:::These comments are great and extremely detailed, thank you! Thanks to your efforts I was able to retire these templates: book1, book2, book3, book4, and yt, so now we only have the huge {{template|book}} template and {{template|blog}}. I kinda agree with IP that it might not be future-proof, but I don't really see a reason to believe we'll add 2 more parameters to the book-specific columns. And even then, it's not that hard to update the template. But please do let me know if you can think of other issues with the current implementation! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 19:50, 30 January 2025 (UTC)
----
I've added a minor feature to the template so that we can see which short video one is. For example, the "everyone jump" short is the 17th one posted, so it now displays on the table as "17th Short video, on 2025‑11‑25: What if everyone on Earth was in the same place and jumped at the same time?". Hope it helps! [[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font:11pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#5CA7CF">tor</span><span style="color:#F08DB0">i :3</span></span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font:8pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#9E9E9E">talk </span><span style="color:#F08DB0">to </span><span style="color:#5CA7CF">me!</span>]]</span></sup> 17:38, 11 February 2026 (UTC)
:Thanks! Initially i didn't add it to allow column sorting to work only for videos, but now that there are many shorts the number is definitely neeeded somehwere :) [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 20:39, 13 February 2026 (UTC)

== tldr ==

hey favifake! i just came back from a 5 day yosemite trip, that’s why i have been awol for that time. could you please really quick give me a tldr of what has been going on in the past couple days? i see that we finished the index, but i’m just wondering if there’s anything else. thanks! '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 02:52, 1 February 2025 (UTC)
:Welcome back! We now only use the {{template|book}} and {{template|blog}} templates, all the others have been merged into {{template|book}} by the incredible [[User:Firestar233]], the templates are much more solid, they also added all the questions and almost all the what if? 2-exclusive chapters. So now we're only missing the questions from the first book and an explanation for the third's bonus chapter (which you own!). I don't have much time, but you can look at the history of the templates and the main what if chapters page, and also this talk section. There's also a to-do list above the index! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 18:32, 1 February 2025 (UTC)
::ok, great! i'll try to work on the chapter explainations once i find the time '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 21:04, 1 February 2025 (UTC)
:::Amazing! Thanks for your help. If you're interested, I've just added a simple (yet boring) task:
:::*''"Need to add the name(s) of the readers who asked each questions. It's easy! The instructions are in the ''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]''!"''
:::If you have time, the names are missing for some book-exclusive articles and the blog articles. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 10:59, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

== Table for smaller screens ==
Do we think we should list out who asked each question in the table? [[User:Firestar233|guess who]] ([[User talk:Firestar233|if you desire conversing]] | [[Special:Contributions/Firestar233|what i have done]]) 03:09, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

:If so (and I'm not sure it's necessary), please not as an extra column. Already it's squeezing what's there down, something chronic. At least on my current screen, right now.
:*The thumbnail column can't get smaller (unless we use smaller/downscaled thukbnails, of course, but there's a limit to that)
:*The title column (of the first non-hdader is "Relatacistic(Newline)Baseball".
:*The "Reader's(Newline)question" column goes "(quote)What would(Newline)happen if you(Newline)(...etc)".
:*The "Randall's answer" column is positively spacious (no doubt forced to be so by the "Too short!" infoboxes), letting it read "The ball would create plasma and(Newline)reach home plate by about 70(Newline)(...etc)".
:*The three columns for Blog/Book/Vid couldn't be narrower and make sense.
:If the questioner is to be asked, set it after the question (same cell, maybe horizontal rule).
:In fact, what do you think of the following layout modification?
{| class="sortable wikitable"
!Title
!Question / Answer
!Blog
!Books
!YouTube
|-
|'''{{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''
[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]
|''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''
<div align="right">Ellen McManis</div>
----
The ball would create plasma and reach home plate by about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.
|{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}
|{{book|1|2}}
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}
|-
|'''{{what if|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
<div align="right">Rob Balder</div>
----
No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every ex-living president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day.
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|
|}
:Saves trouble of having emphatically unsortable columns, this way, being mere continuations of the cell contents we ''do'' want to sort. Assuming we don't decide we want to sort by "Firstname(s) Lastname" (or "Lastname, Firstname(s)"), as well as by sorting by "What would..." / "What if..." / "How much..." / "Is there..."ness, etc. But that's another step with another answer to it. (e.g. a "By" column with data-sort-value="Lastname, Firstname(s)" defined but ''no visible content''... It'll be as minimally thin as "By" and the sort-glyph allows, only minimally squeezing the other columns. ...if that's more desirous than merely 'data-sort-value'ing the Question(/Name)/Answer field by name (whatever format), and finding little real reason to sort the "How"s from the "What"s from the "Is"s. But that's something that deserves more thought!)
:But what I ''do'' highly suggest (at least add the "Who" after the "Question", same cell, and looks nice with right-align; on top of that, cell-mergering like this, ''probably'' with the horizontal rule markup in the Q&A divide) looks good to me.
:"Relativistic Baseball"(noNewline!) and "(quote)What would happen if you tried to hit a   (Newline, etc...)" is how the example table pans out in Preview, which is an improvement for readability.
:I won't pre-emptimptively assume you're ok with this plan, but (if it seems the idea is liked/not disliked), when I have the time to do it I could blitz this (or any other consensus change of similar radicality, that gets proposed instead) later on (at least 12 hours from now, maybe a full day...). I'll do what I can to fill (or visibly format, if already there) such authors as I'm not left totally stumped about for whatever nazcent reason. Sound good to y'all? ;) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.190|141.101.98.190]] 05:00, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

::Thanks for your suggestions! These are my thoughts:
Do we think we should list out who asked each question in the table?
::Yes! I thought about doing this after you commented each reader after the question, but didn't have the time. The ay you went about adding them makes it very easy to create a "find-and-replace" to do it for all cells at once.This is how I'd do it:
:: <nowiki>''"Question?"''</nowiki>
:: <nowiki><div align="right">—Rob Balder</div></nowiki>

In fact, what do you think of the following layout modification?
[...] cell-mergering like this, ''probably'' with the horizontal rule markup in the Q&A divide) looks good to me.
::I don't really like it and I don't think it's needed, mainly because it only looks good on a small screen. Meanwhile, on a normal-sized desk monitor, it makes the table '''almost twice as tall''' on my end. I don't think we should optimise for smaller screens and disregard other users with a larger screen real estate. If you find any other way to improve the table on both screen sizes, please do let us know!
(e.g. a "By" column with data-sort-value="Lastname, Firstname(s)" defined but ''no visible content''... It'll be as minimally thin as "By" and the sort-glyph allows, only minimally squeezing the other columns.
::I don't really like this idea, seems confusing for the end user (why is there an empty column?), doesn't add so much value, and needs to be maintained. If someone wants to sort by reader alphabetically, they'll likely find a way to isolate the '''<code><nowiki><div align="right">—Rob Balder</div></nowiki></code>''' part.
But what I ''do'' highly suggest (at least add the "Who" after the "Question", same cell, and looks nice with right-align [...]
::Love that! See above.
::--[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 09:01, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

::I formatted them! All the ones that were added as comments in the table are now visible. I also added this to-do, mainly for blog posts:
::*Need to add the name(s) of the readers who asked each questions. It's easy! The instructions are in the ''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]''!
::--[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 10:57, 2 February 2025 (UTC)
:::Regarding "...on a normal-sized desk monitor, it makes the table '''almost twice as tall''' on my end." my display (non-desktop) has ultra-wide aspect ratio (when landscape; I rarely use portrait for browsing because then web-pages are scaled to unreadable levels).
:::With side-by-side Q and A columns, the "Too small" warning box dictates the minimum width of the Answer column, making the Question column even more narrow (when you take the minimum width of the thumbnail out of the horizontal space, then the title and the three "occurance" columns fight for what remains) than it might otherwise need to be. (If/when we remove ''all'' these hints to edit longer answer-'summaries', the table will doubtless realign its contents to a more equitable share of width between columns.)
:::Most often, this still results in (non-short) "Answer" columns being longer than they need to be, and forcing the whole row to be vertically wasteful. An opposite case (such as replicated below) does it with the Question having to have excessive linefeeds, being less readable (needs scrolling to read it all) and leaving a vast desert of blankness in the cell to its immediate right.
:::Isolating just the Q and A columns (to remove other confounding factors, for most displays except maybe phones-in-portrait - which is already an abominable mode and I find most websites look ''far'' more unreadable in ultra-tall-portrait orientation, so I generally avoid doing that on my tablet) and manually adding the line-breaks I see, you get:
{| class="sortable wikitable"
|"When my wife<br/>and I started<br/>dating she<br/>invited me over<br/>for dinner at one<br/>time. Her<br/>kitchen had<br/>something<br/>called Bauhaus<br/>chairs, which are<br/>full of holes,<br/>approx 5-6<br/>millimeters in<br/>diameter in both<br/>back and seat.<br/>During this<br/>lovely dinner I<br/>was forced to<br/>liberate a small<br/>portion of wind<br/>and was relieved<br/>that I managed<br/>to do so very<br/>discretely. Only<br/>to find that the<br/>chair I sat on<br/>converted the<br/>successful<br/>silence into a<br/>perfect, and<br/>loud, flute note.<br/>We were both<br/>(luckily) amazed<br/>and surprised<br/>and I have often<br/>wondered what<br/>the odds are for<br/>something like<br/>that happening.<br/>We kept the<br/>chairs for five<br/>years but<br/>despite laborious<br/>attempts it<br/>couldn't be<br/>reproduced."
|This... isn’t actually a question, but<br/>thank you for sharing!
|}
:::Integrating the row into the above-suggested format of table, we get (showing just that single combined Q+A cell, minus any "by"-line), the following:
{| class="sortable wikitable"
|"When my wife and I started dating she invited<br/>me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had<br/>something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full<br/>of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in<br/>diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I<br/>was forced to liberate a small portion of wind<br/>and was relieved that I managed to do so very<br/>discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on<br/>converted the successful silence into a perfect,<br/>and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily)<br/>amazed and surprised and I have often<br/>wondered what the odds are for something like<br/>that happening. We kept the chairs for five<br/>years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."
----
This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you<br/>for sharing!
|}
:::Yes, the non-Q&A cells (which I've left out, just there) are still comparatively empty (especially as "Relativistic Baseball" isn't forced into two lines, and even the final three columns don't need quite as many linefeeds between them ...you could probably narrow them further by forcing some linebreaks back into them, giving even more width to Q+A column), but they're actually often ''less'' empty because they aren't as artifically tall as a function of =max(height(question),height(answer)), instead being =height(wider(question+answer)). The conversion to not force a short question to inhabit a desolately empty cell as long as narrowly squashed answer, ''and'' a short answer to be as long as an even more narrowly squashed question, seems to be more wasteful of space than to give combined Q&A far more width and let it be ''exactly'' as long as it needs to be for both to fill it (being the crux of the row, the rest being 'annotations' to the paragraphed question/answer interplay).
:::Though I'm not next to my own desktop display, right now, I can tell you that the space-wasting I'm showing is notable (though not quite so egregious) there, too, and I had already thought to try out (at least for a Preview) a Q+A column.
:::I wasn't, at that time, even thinking of thumbnail+title columns merging (which would help even more), but I'm sorely tempted now. Whether or not Q+A merging is accepted by the wider set of editors. Merging title+thumbnail ''could'' trivially let the Q-column expand maybe to double its current width, depending upon the other dynamics involved in apportioning rendered width and height. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.90.9|172.70.90.9]] 13:00, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

:::Ok, for reference: The desktop machine has the following line-feeds for the above example, as ''currently'' shown in the Thumbnail|Title|Question|Answer|... format:
{| class="sortable wikitable"
|"When my wife and I started dating she invited me<br/>over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen<br/>had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of<br/>holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both<br/>back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced<br/>to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved<br/>that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find<br/>that the chair I sat on converted the successful<br/>silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were<br/>both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often<br/>wondered what the odds are for something like that<br/>happening. We kept the chairs for five years but<br/>despite laborious attempts it couldn't be<br/>reproduced."
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!(Single line!)
|}
:::Testing the above-suggested format of table, we get:
{| class="sortable wikitable"
|"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus<br/>chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was<br/>forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the<br/>chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised<br/>and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but<br/>despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."
----
This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!
|}
:::Again, produces shorter (and more readable?) rows. In this particularly extreme example, at least. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.49|162.158.74.49]] 14:25, 2 February 2025 (UTC)
::::Thanks for your answer, these are my thoughts:
the "Too small" warning box dictates the minimum width of the Answer column, making the Question column even more narrow [...] than it might otherwise need to be
::::*I hadn't thought of that, but still: if the issue is mainly caused by these notices, it's very easy to replace them with something else that doesn't force the column to be too wide.
I generally avoid doing that on my tablet
::::*Oh, you're still the same IP as before! Hey there! My point ''wasn't'' that your idea wouldn't benefit small-sized screens like tablets (because it does, as you proved!), but that we should mainly focus on desktop users, which is how most readers that aren't on their phones will use the index. I don't like the idea of making the experience worse for everyone except tablet users (and phone users, but i can't imagine someone browsing such a huge index on their phones, so i don't think we should consider them). I'd love it you could improve the experience for both types of devices!
"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen
::::*I think that's a bad example because the question is 4x the normal question length and there is no answer. I don't think we'd want to optimise the index so that that specific article looks better but most other articles don't.
::::*I think the perfect example of how it will one day look is article 2, with the question being slightly shorter than the answer, and that difference being balanced by the name of the reader who asked the question:
{| class="sortable wikitable"
!class="unsortable"|Thumbnail
!Title
!Reader's question
!class="unsortable"|Randall's answer
!Blog
!Books
!YouTube
|-
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
<div align="right">—This is a name</div>
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every ex-living president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day.
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if example?}}
|}
::::*This specific example, which is how most articles do/will look hopefully, is '''~45% shorter''' than [[#Question askers|your example]] and thus wastes much less space on my screen size.
the final three columns don't need quite as many linefeeds between them ...you could probably narrow them further by forcing some linebreaks back into them [...]
::::*If they need linebreaks, doesn't that mean that their column would be the most narrow one? I thought mediawiki balanced the table pretty well.
thumbnail+title columns merging (which would help even more), but I'm sorely tempted now
::::*But I think this idea has the same problem, looking too tall on desktops and beautiful on a tablet. I wouldn't want to ruin the UX of desktop users to favour tablet users, but i'd love a way to improve both!
::::*Also, I'd like to one day make the thumbnail bigger, because currently it's too small in my opinion. But if i increased its size right now, it would force every row to be even taller, which would waste space on desktop (and, of course, save space on small screens, or at least not make that big of a difference). --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:04, 2 February 2025 (UTC)
::::Is there a "mobile" version/url for this site? because there might be a way to make the table try to display a different layout if it's on the mobile url/version or if the screen is too small, but that would require putting complicated expressions in every row and in the header columns. [[User:Firestar233|guess who]] ([[User talk:Firestar233|if you desire conversing]] | [[Special:Contributions/Firestar233|what i have done]]) 20:53, 3 February 2025 (UTC)
:::::Yeah I had thought of doing a similar thing, maybe have two pages with different coding and use complex transclusions to keep the content the same? But I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that. But you're the wiki-editing wizard here. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:50, 4 February 2025 (UTC)

:::::As I predicted, now that most columns are filled, on my screen they're almost the same width! I think it'd be even more balanced if we removed the notices --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:44, 31 March 2025 (UTC)

== adding what if? 10th ann ==

as most of you know, the what if? 10th anniversary edition is basically an updated version of what if?, compete with red annotations and a bonus chapter that i need to get around to explaining. since it has all the original what if? chapters, should we add a red 10th anniversary box under each green what if? box? '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 16:12, 3 February 2025 (UTC)

:Yeah I realized it was just small annotations after i created the template and now I've changed the 10th ann. one to say ''Featured '''exclusively''' on the 3rd ed. etc.'' Not sure if that's enough, could also be much longer since it's only used on 1 row, but we definitely shouldn't add the template to every other article, (would break the style= html tag). Someone should still mention that articles on the first book are all available on the 3rd (and add more info) on both '''[[what if? (blog)]]''' and '''[[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]'''.
:Don't worry too much about explaining it, it can just be a couple of sentences. People can watch the video if they want details. Thanks for your work!{{unsigned|FaviFake|09:57, 3 February 2025 (UTC)}} 

:The fact that the 10th Anniversary ed ("book3", in original nomenclature) was basically a bonus-chapter version of the original ("book1"), was behind my suggestion that book|3 should sort-value itself as between book|1 articles and the completely new book|2, but there are severl ways of doing it (including maybe using something akin to {{w|Template:Diagonal split header}} for book|1 (assumed to also be book|3) rendering. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.38.96|162.158.38.96]] 21:08, 3 February 2025 (UTC)

::That's interesting, I didn't know that existed! I wonder if there's a less repetitive and/or space-efficient way of expressing the same message ("this is on both"), but idk. (look, I remembered to sign this time!) --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:43, 4 February 2025 (UTC)

::another question: should i be updating the explanations to be accurate as of 2024? many of the red annotations contain corrections or updates. '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 16:08, 4 February 2025 (UTC)

That's interesting! I like the idea of adding them, but I can't seem to find a nice way to add them:
*We could add them to the existing explanation, but that would be weird because half of the blog articles, which are public on the site, don't have these additions.
*We could add them to the book column, but it'd likely get too big, and we would need to figure out a way to make the template do that.
*We could create a duplicate row of every red-annotated article, even if they're on the blog, but that would be confusing and might clutter the index.
*We could create a new column, but we already have too many.
*Also, we'd need to figure out how to add them. Do we want to make the text red like in the book? Should we use a new/old template for that?
--[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:43, 4 February 2025 (UTC)

== By what measure is anything "too short". ==

I am very close to just removing all the <code><nowiki>{{notice|Too short}}</nowiki></code> additions, on the basis that this seems to be a purely subjective measure. The only reason I haven't is because they'll probably just be added back in again (with no more reasoning than before). But, if anyone wants more information, everyone already knows where they can find the ''full'' text (or narrated video) that gives it, while a summary is a summary. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.85.49|172.70.85.49]] 20:28, 19 March 2025 (UTC)
:The reason I add them is because I'd like people browsing the index to be able to glance at a question and read its summary. I try to check the original article to see if there are any important things we missed and point them out. But if, after reading through an article, you find that our summary is clear and '''fully answers''' the question, you can remove it. I started adding these because some early summaries were way too short, just 5-10 words, and mostly didn't answer the question. For example, if an answer is "We would all die", that doesn't answer the question, but "The radiation from the nuclear bomb would be so pervasive that we would all die in 2 years" does.

:Of course people can just read all ~250 articles, but if someone just wants the answer quickly, we offer that. Please feel free to remove them from answers that are already complete, but not all of them.--[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 16:48, 20 March 2025 (UTC)

::Reviewing the current first five "Too short" complaints, IMO you cannot get much more fully answered without expanding the "summary" to basically going through the article's in-depth explanation and copying/paraphrasing it. Which seems to me to miss the point.
::Parallel requests for rewording/better phrasing I can understand (if I thought that any change I made in that direction was going to stand when it got "made longer", I might even try to help out in that direction), but I'm still none the wiser why they are too short.
::Answering a question of "How long/heavy/bright/fast is <foo>?" shouldn't need more than a simple "it is <measurement>, given <caveat>", in most cases. Maybe a couple of those if there's different caveats, or add why it would end the world if you even ''had'' such a <foo>. "Could I/we/humanity <bar>?" probably doesn't need much more than "[Yes/No], but <unexpected thing...>" And I'm not sure if it's still there, because I'm not going to recheck it all, but at one point I noted at least one short-question/short-answer that had a longer 'summary' than the answer given.
::I like words. I need to expend effort to not use more of them, myself, and am quite pleased if I ''can'' satisfactorily say what I'm trying to say in a succint manner. (i.e. not like this...) But I'm still none the wiser what (lower) thresholds there are in this situation. I'm going to consider if I can help, here, but not right this moment. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.241.122|172.71.241.122]] 20:29, 20 March 2025 (UTC)

:::Oooh you're the same IP! I didn't recognise you.
Reviewing the current first five "Too short" complaints, IMO you cannot get much more fully answered without expanding the "summary" to basically going through the article's in-depth explanation and copying/paraphrasing it. Which seems to me to miss the point.
:::Sounds good. If the explanation is satisfactory and mentions everything except things like the methodology used and minor "sub-answers", feel free to remove the notices!

"How long/heavy/bright/fast is <foo>?" shouldn't need more than a simple "it is <measurement>, given <caveat>", in most cases. Maybe a couple of those if there's different caveats, or add why it would end the world if you even had such a <foo>.
:::Agreed!

"Could I/we/humanity <bar>?" probably doesn't need much more than "[Yes/No], but <unexpected thing...>"
:::Agree, but usually the entire article revolves around that unexpected thing, so i think we should summarise that too. Agin, feel free to remove the ones you're sure can't be made any longer in a useful way At the start, I added a lot and didn't have time to go read the article for each one! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:56, 21 March 2025 (UTC)

== Alternate universe What-Ifs ==

Should we make the explanation for Alternate universe What-Ifs a separate page? Explaining every section in this article might be too long, and if the other explanations are anything to go by, an explanation that fits would be considered too short. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.174.147|172.68.174.147]] 06:09, 21 March 2025 (UTC)
:I think we should definitely explain it, but maybe it's better if we keep it in the table? Why'd you want to split into another page?
:Also, the short-answer articles aren't too short. If you look at [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/What_If%3F_chapters#:~:text=Short Answer Section II Short%20Answer%20Section%20II], for example, it explanations are very short, and rightfully so. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:49, 21 March 2025 (UTC)

== What about Good Question? ==

There does appear to be a *fourth* "What If?" thing Randall has done that is seemingly only documented at [[New York Times: Good Question]]; the New York Times's [https://www.nytimes.com/column/good-question-randall-munroe-xkcd Good Question], which does appear to maybe have some chapter reposts (i.e. Cosmic Road Trip/"How Long Is the Drive to the Edge of the Universe?"). My question is, is this worth documenting on this page in specific? [[User:Adrmcr|Adrmcr]] ([[User talk:Adrmcr|talk]]) 18:36, 21 March 2025 (UTC)

:Oh, right, I had forgotten about that page! I like the idea of doing something with it, it's currently almost impossible to find. To give it more visibility, I think we could move its contents here. I'm not sure if we should add them to the existing table or put them in a new section, maybe at the bottom. I could see something like this working:

{| class="sortable wikitable"
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| question
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Randall's answer
! colspan="3"| Article available in... <noinclude></noinclude> ''(click to sort)'' <noinclude></noinclude>
|-
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube
|-
| rowspan="7" |
| rowspan="7" |'''Good Question'''
|[https://www.nytimes.com/column/good-question-randall-munroe-xkcd ''"How Long Is the Drive to the Edge of the Universe?"'']
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
|Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Cras sagittis lacus sit amet porta vulputate.
|1st "[https://www.nytimes.com/column/good-question-randall-munroe-xkcd Good Question]" NYT article, on 2012‑07‑10
|
|
|-
|[https://www.nytimes.com/column/good-question-randall-munroe-xkcd ''"Shark or Orca: Which Should You Fear More?"'']
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
|rutrum eros id, tincidunt neque. Integer hendrerit magna ac nibh fringilla,
|2nd "[https://www.nytimes.com/column/good-question-randall-munroe-xkcd Good Question]" NYT article, on 2012‑07‑10
|
|
|-
|[https://www.nytimes.com/column/good-question-randall-munroe-xkcd ''" How Many Languages Could a Child Speak?"'']
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
|non venenatis lacus hendrerit. Pellentesque ullamcorper dolor eget nunc gravida, nec euismod risus efficitur.
|3rd "[https://www.nytimes.com/column/good-question-randall-munroe-xkcd Good Question]" NYT article, on 2012‑07‑10
|
|
|}

:The old page could become a redirect to the new section/NYT table. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 08:49, 22 March 2025 (UTC)
::Anyone? --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 16:56, 23 March 2025 (UTC)

== Striking a match on Titan - additional ==

Depends on how you read it, but try to strike a safety match ''on'' Titan probably would do nothing at all (just like if you tried to strike it on a bit of Earth rock, here on the surface of Earth), as it needs the chemicals in the striking-strip to (in small amounts) combine with the oxidiser in the match-head coating to spark up and ''then'' prompt the relatively slower-burning process that leads to the atmosphere-fed burning of the 'stick'.

This means that striker+match reaction will also work in most situations (including underwater and in vacuum), though of course may then fail to get significant amount of post-striking ignition to continue. As non-safety/strike-anywhere ones will, given the friction (hmmm... would you get good friction off of the ice-boulders of Titan?).

But coating your matchheads with wax (or manufactured with a suitable coating) is advisable for 'survival kit' matches, to prevent infusion of water to 'dampen the squib'. Would be interesting to know to what degree the anoxic atmosphere of Titan might seep in and similarly suppress the various types of ready-to-react compounds, before even the lack of free oxygen ends the intended flare-up. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.26.37|172.71.26.37]] 10:19, 29 March 2025 (UTC)

:Uhh, what article are you talking about? This info could be useful to add in the index! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:06, 29 March 2025 (UTC)
::Easily searchable (or made visible as per my recent change), it's not the only "match" or "Titan" reference, but there aren't so many of either that you need to check much further than the first appearance of either, probably.
::But, as you ask, it's in the Book 2 "Short Answers #3" collection (the penultimate one of that grouping). And, now that I've reached home, I can also tell you that it's pp.141-142 in the UK hardback edition (whether or not that's identical/near to your own copy's appearance of it).
::However, no ''more'' info needs to be added, IMO. I changed the prior edit (not sure who/which IP did it, without checking, but their edit popped it up on my own radar as worthy of minor refinement) to just say that it's oxidiser, not just "oxygen" (there's oxygen in the "stick" and any other "head"-coatings applied, but basically incidental to the initial ignition when it's the oxidiser component that primarily contributes to that). And, to my mild and gratifying surprise, now find that this is pretty much exactly what the Short Answer says (except in 'Merkin form of "oxidizer" - so now, I think to myself, did I write my edit in Leftpondian (as I should, just because Noah Webster wanted to be a Lexicographical Edgelord), or Rightpondian (as is my default habit, because that's how I was educated)... need to check that!), in the form of a summary which ''our'' summary pretty much matches<sup>[[[559: No Pun Intended|''NPI!'']]]</sup> in all useful ways.
::I added the stuff here, about the Safety Match detail, as a bonus bit of info for anyone who cares to scan down here to know this additional thing that I happen to know (but not necessarily explain well?)... Randall does not go that far into the details in his book-answer (he does divert into a footnote about KClO<sub>3</sub> being used in airliner oxygen masks, but that's beyond the scope of adding here, and he totally avoids the safety/strike-anywhere distinctions). Adding the above to the Explanation Table would be overkill, and misrepresent Randall's original format to no real benefit (except maybe some curious pyromaniacs, on Earth or elsewhere) [[Special:Contributions/172.69.195.179|172.69.195.179]] 16:58, 29 March 2025 (UTC)

== A bit disappointed in the lack of progress ==

I mean, I understand that this is a volunteer project and I can't force people to work on this thing, hell, I don't even have the time to fill out most of the pages even if I HAVE read the What IF in question. However, it's still a bit disheartening to see so many "too shorts" even after several weeks. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.208.133|172.69.208.133]] 12:32, 17 April 2025 (UTC)
:If it was up to me, I'd solve the issue of too many "Too short"s by... deleting the unnecessary "Too short"s... I have no desire to expand the sufficient summaries with much longer reruns of the full answers. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.216.168|162.158.216.168]] 15:39, 17 April 2025 (UTC)
::I think the progress we made is still a lot, considering the state the index was previously. Also, it's not the only incomplete thing, there are about other 80 incomplete pages here. Also, as I said a while back:
::If the explanation is satisfactory and mentions everything except things like the methodology used and minor "sub-answers", please remove the notices! "Could I/we/humanity <bar>?" probably doesn't need much more than "[Yes/No], but <unexpected thing...>". Agree, but usually the entire article revolves around that unexpected thing, so i think we should summarise that too. Again, feel free to remove the ones you're ''sure'' can't be made any longer in a useful way. At the start of the project, I added a lot and didn't have time to go read the article for each one! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:03, 17 April 2025 (UTC)

== "nonmonomolecular" and peptides ==

About "the longest sequence of letters using one number key": Yamaki, Sahori B. et al.'s article published on 15 March, 2005 in ''Journal of Colloid and Interface Science'' volume 283, issue 2 on pages 464–471 titled ''Morphological and structural characteristics of diazo dyes at the air–water interface: in situ Brewster angle microscopy and polarized UV/vis analysis'' uses "nonmonomolecular" (with neither hyphens nor dashes nor anything else), a word with 9 consecutive letters using the 6 key a total of 20 times. The word also has [[:wikt:nonmonomolecular|an article on Wiktionary]].

About the peptides: "Glycylglycylglycyl[…]glycine" and other spelled-out amino acid sequences (like titin's) status as a word is dubious. If we assume they are all considerable as words, there is no upper limit on peptide sequence word length (e. g. "glycyl" adds 6 to the length and 0 to the count of unallowed letters (U, B, X, O, J, Z), "phenylalanyl" adds 12 and 0, respectively, etc.). [[Special:Contributions/172.70.39.208|172.70.39.208]] 21:21, 27 April 2025 (UTC)

:Great! You can add all that in the explanation in the main table :D   --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 14:32, 28 April 2025 (UTC)

== Contact Randall (or his team): link rot on "Pressure Cooker" What if? page ==

On this page: https://what-if.xkcd.com/40/

There's a link ostensibly to an article about O2F2, link text is "Another article". It goes to lateralscience.com. Unfortunately, the original site there has been replaced by a domain squatter advertising online casinos. I don't know how to contact Mr. Munroe to tell him. [[User:Nitpicking|Nitpicking]] ([[User talk:Nitpicking|talk]]) 20:23, 12 May 2025 (UTC)

:You can just shoot him an email at his personal address: rmunroe@gmail.com   --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:03, 13 May 2025 (UTC)

== 10th Anniversary Annotations ==

Hello, new here. I honestly have no idea what I am doing. But I read the 10th anniversary edition of ''[[What If?]]'', and one annotation, in the same chapter, added dimethylmercury far off to the right, and about halfway up the y axis. [[User:Majordesmosnerd|Majordesmosnerd]] ([[User talk:Majordesmosnerd|talk]]) 22:18, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
:We as a community have not decided what to do with annotations, as there are many of them scattered throughout the book and it would be a painstaking process to document them all. I would like invite further discussion about this so we can come to a consensus. [[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font:11pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#4A86A6">tor</span><span style="color:#C0728D">i :3</span></span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font:8pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#7E7E7E">talk </span><span style="color:#C0728D">to </span><span style="color:#4A86A6">me!</span></span>]]</sup> 01:05, 20 March 2026 (UTC)
::Agree it'd be nice to have them documented somewhere! [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 12:21, 4 April 2026 (UTC)
:::How would we format it? Do we want to make a new template for these annotations? I'd be willing to go through my book if I can find the time for it between all my work. [[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font:11pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#4A86A6">tor</span><span style="color:#C0728D">i :3</span></span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font:8pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#7E7E7E">talk </span><span style="color:#C0728D">to </span><span style="color:#4A86A6">me!</span></span>]]</sup> 19:41, 5 April 2026 (UTC)
::::Maybe a second table somewhere else on the page, with a link from the main table (in the book column?) that goes to the second table, so a user can jump between them when they see the little "see annotations!" link in the book column? (or another column?) I've already filled the table with anchors, so for example to jump to chapter 34 of the second book just can just type [[#2-34]] and it'll take you there. Or for the blog, type any number like [[#55]]. I'm not sure how we should format the annotations, maybe copy the text around it (coloured black like normal text) and make the annotations bold? Or create a {{tl|red}} template that just makes the text of the annotation red. It could work! Unfortunately i don't have the book, i bought the first one :( ㅤ [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 16:06, 7 April 2026 (UTC)
:::::I think that a second page would be smart. We could do something like <nowiki>[[what if? articles/Annotations]]</nowiki> with a table: page number, chapter, transcript, and I'll see if I can find the images for the actual annotations somewhere. As for formatting, I think we should do black text for describing any doodles that Randall made, then red text for the actual annotation itself. Let me know if you have any other concerns. [[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font:11pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#4A86A6">tor</span><span style="color:#C0728D">i :3</span></span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font:8pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#7E7E7E">talk </span><span style="color:#C0728D">to </span><span style="color:#4A86A6">me!</span></span>]]</sup> 16:28, 15 April 2026 (UTC)
::::::Sure, sounds good. The reason I was thinking of doing it all in the same page is that readers could jump back and forth from the explanation of the annotations to the explanation of the chapter and vice versa, without having to reload the page. [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 19:36, 17 April 2026 (UTC)
:::::::So a different table, but on the same page on a different section? That can work for me. [[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font:11pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#4A86A6">tor</span><span style="color:#C0728D">i :3</span></span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font:8pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#7E7E7E">talk </span><span style="color:#C0728D">to </span><span style="color:#4A86A6">me!</span></span>]]</sup> 18:49, 19 April 2026 (UTC)
::::::::Yeah exactly! [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 08:26, 21 April 2026 (UTC)
== new youtube short ==
Add why is the sky blue youtube channel short that is on xkcd what if channel. {{unsigned ip|185.88.42.163|12:58, 23 April 2026 (UTC)}}
:on it! please remember to sign your comments with <code><nowiki>~~~~</nowiki></code> in the future, thanks! [[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font:11pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#4A86A6">tor</span><span style="color:#C0728D">i :3</span></span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font:8pt Cormorant Garamond"><span style="color:#7E7E7E">talk </span><span style="color:#C0728D">to </span><span style="color:#4A86A6">me!</span></span>]]</sup> 18:47, 23 April 2026 (UTC)

== interesting things ==
I just noticed that what if 12 (Raindrop) has a different background color. Just found it interesting.--[[User:1234231587678|1234231587678]] ([[User talk:1234231587678|talk]]) 20:50, 26 May 2026 (UTC)

what if? articles

2026-05-26T20:48:18Z

1234231587678: :)

<noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''what if?'' articles}}For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''<noinclude>
{{incomplete|The [[10th Anniversary Edition]] annotations have not been added yet. If you have the book and can help, please see the [[Talk:what if? articles#10th_Anniversary_Annotations|Talk Page]] for more info!}}

</noinclude>This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. For each article, the original question and a summary of Randall's answer are provided. If an article is available on the blog, you can click the title to read it in full. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive articles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive archive section] of the blog. Similar articles by Randall have also been [[New York Times: Good Question|published in the New York Times]].<noinclude>
[[Category:Incomplete explanations| ]]</noinclude>
<div style="clear: both"></div>
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Reader's question
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Summary of Randall's answer
! colspan="3"| Article available in... <noinclude></noinclude> ''(click to sort)'' <noinclude></noinclude>
|-
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen McManis</div>
| rowspan="2" |The ball would create plasma and reach home plate in about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.
| rowspan="2"{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|2}}
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}
|-
|{{book|14|short-video=yes|2025|10|28|Uj10jGq2O8o|What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?}}
|-
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Balder</div>
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every living ex-president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day. To put this as a number, the odds of this happening would be less than 1/10^100 (one {{w|googol}}).
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|
|-
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|3|Yoda}}'''
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Finnie</div>
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}
|{{book|1|32}}
|
|-
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Rice</div>
|In physics, a {{w|mole (unit)|mole}} is a number that equals approximately 6.022 × 10<sup>23</sup>. If this amount of moles (the furry animals) were put in space, they would form a sphere a little bit larger than our Moon with about the same gravity as Pluto. The surface would freeze and trap the interior warmth, causing geysers of hot meat and methane.
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}
|{{book|1|10}}
|{{book|29|2025|8|19|lLlwvmu1ZeA|What if you had a mole of moles?}}
|-
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Lombino</div>
|Humanity would most likely survive. Most robots can easily be subdued because technology hasn’t been developed enough to allow them to walk, evade being destroyed, and kill us efficiently. They could decide to use our nuclear weapons, but that would hurt them more than us.
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''
<div align="right">—Vittorio Iacovella</div>
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}
|{{book|1|26}}
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}
|-
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|7|Everybody Out}}'''
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''
<div align="right">—Adam</div>
|No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind. The best way to do it is either with a space tether or to ride the shockwave of a nuclear bomb, but the former lacks a good material and the latter is literally ''riding the shockwave of a nuclear bomb''. In any case, highly impractical.
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}
|{{book|1|35}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|8|Everybody Jump}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Bennett (and many others)</div>
| rowspan="2" |Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out, due to the congestion of everybody being in one place at once. Utilities and everything requiring human oversight would eventually fail because no one was maintaining them. If airports became functional, only the largest would be able to efficiently get everybody home. Only the people at the edges of the giant crowd would be able to escape, with the rest almost certainly dying due to suffocation. The Earth would then be a lawless wasteland, with a severely diminished population trying to restore humanity to its former glory.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|8|2012|08|21}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|9}}
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}
|-
|{{book|17|short-video=yes|2025|11|25|Ny9m2l6h478|What if everyone on Earth was in the same place and jumped at the same time?}}
|-
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|9|Soul Mates}}'''
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''
<div align="right">—Benjamin Staffin</div>
|Assuming the soul mate can exist at any time, there is a high chance that you would not find your soul mate. Around 100 billion humans have ever existed, but only 8 billion of those people are alive today. This means that there is an over 90% chance that your soul mate is long dead. This is made worse by the fact that people will also be born in the future, and your soul mate could live very far in the future.

Even if it is assumed that someone's soul mate must be alive while they are alive, there's still a very low chance of finding your soul mate due to the sheer amount of people in the world. Even if you find them, they may speak another language and be unable to understand you.

Jobs would also be affected, with very social jobs such as waiters, cashiers, or traffic guards being highly sought-after.
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}
|{{book|1|6}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|10|Cassini}}'''
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''
<div align="right">—Socke</div>
|Hard to tell with any sort of certainty, but North America remains the same (just flipped, so Canada is tropical), South America becomes more like Europe before this question, Asia is flipped just like North America was, Europe becomes more like southeast Asia, Africa's climate is essentially rotated 90 degrees and East Africa gets a lot more tornadoes, Australia is colder and wetter, and Antarctica becomes a tropical rainforest. Of course, the biosphere collapses due to the shuffling and the ice caps (prematurely) melt, while also making certain wildlife appear elsewhere than normal.
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}
|
|{{book|23|2025|04|01|WH4g1ptJ-70|What if the Earth rotated 90 degrees?}}
|-
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|11|Droppings}}'''
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''
<div align="right">—Adrienne Olson</div>
|Assuming an even distribution of all birds across the Earth's surface and a frequency of 1 poop per hour, it would take you about 195 years on average. However, those assumptions are unrealistic: It would probably be closer to a few hours if you were laying under an area where large amounts of birds are common, such as a power line or tree.
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|12|Raindrop}}'''
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''
<div align="right">—Michael McNeill</div>
|The surrounding area would be obliterated via the violent rush of crushing water, causing flash flooding in the surrounding area. There would be mass confusion for many following years.
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}
|{{book|1|65}}
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|13|Laser Pointer}}'''
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Lipowicz</div>
|It would take lots of power, but yes, assuming you want to drain the Earth's oil and cover Asia in megawatt lasers. Going even further in power level fries the Earth and launches the Moon into the solar system.
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}
|{{book|1|7}}
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|14|Short Answer Section}}'''
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''
<div align="right">—Austin Dickey</div>
|The Sun would actually burn brighter due to water being mostly hydrogen (main fusion fuel of stars) and eventually become a black hole with all the mass of the water.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}
| rowspan="7" |
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''
<div align="right">—Chase Montgomery</div>
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass. The glass used for "one-way mirror glass" is semi-transparent and semi-reflective so that if it's used as a window between a brightly lit room and a dimly lit room, the reflection or transmission from the bright room will overwhelm the transmission or reflection from the dim room so that people looking at the glass from either side will see the bright room.
|-
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''
<div align="right">—Jimmy Morey</div>
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.
|-
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Blake</div>
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.
|-
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''
<div align="right">—Yitzi Turniansky</div>
|The {{w|Doppler Effect}} is when waves (such as light or sound) change based on movement or position. You would need to go about one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.
|-
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''
<div align="right">—Jake G.</div>
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.
|-
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''
<div align="right">—R. D.</div>
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!
|-
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''
<div align="right">—Evin Sellin</div>
|Surprisingly, not much! Large waves already disappear quickly when created by surface explosions, and moving the detonation underwater only lessens the effect. If you exploded a Tsar Bomba at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the resulting eruption would create massive bubbles before turning into warm water and debris.
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]
| rowspan="6" |'''{{What If|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''
<div align="right">—Jay Gengelbach</div>
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|19|Lightning}}
| rowspan="6" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Same3Chords</div>
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.
|-
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Soobnauce</div>
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.
|-
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''
<div align="right">—Danny Wedul</div>
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up (which would also damage your eyes). These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.
|-
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Timothy Campbell</div>
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.
|-
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—NJSG</div>
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.
|-
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|17|Green Cows}}'''
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|They would need 4% less food. There simply isn't enough area on the cow for photosynthesis to provide all its energy requirements.
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|18|BB Gun}}'''
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''
<div align="right">—Charles James O'Keefe</div>
|This would normally be impossible. However, with enough people shooting the train, it can happen. This would require about 100,000 people shooting, distributed over 2 kilometers of track, each firing a few dozen rounds once the train comes close enough. This would, eventually, be enough to bring the train to a stop.
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|19|Tie Vote}}'''
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''
<div align="right">—Nate Silver (<span class="plainlinks">[https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/154434288287363072 '''Twitter, January 4th, 2012''']</span>)</div>
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|20|Diamond}}'''
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Smith, Age 8, via his father Jeff</div>
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the {{w|Oh-My-God particle}}), the Earth would explode with enough force to impact the entire inner Solar System.
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''
<div align="right">—Rob B</div>
|You'd need a Russian 30 mm rotary cannon to do it optimally, and the excessive force would definitely hurt you. If you braced the rider, created an aerodynamic craft strong enough to survive the acceleration, and cooled the craft, you'd be able to jump mountains.
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}
|{{book|1|14|Machine-Gun Jetpack}}
|{{book|36|2026|2|10|IdlQsjq5vKo|What if you made a jetpack using rifles?}}
|-
|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''
<div align="right">—Leto Atreides</div>
|140,000 miles if gas was the only cost involved. The exercise of picking up the penny can prolong your lifespan, but you've wasted valuable seconds reading this article.
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''
<div align="right">—Derek O’Brien</div>
| Using the printer, you could make about 200 million dollars per year, depending on the type of printer. This would actually be the perfect sweet spot for you, as it would be enough to make you very, very rich, but not enough to have any effect on the world. The United States [https://www.bep.gov/currency/production-figures/annual-production-reports prints approximately $160 billion per year], so $200 million a year would be nothing more than a drop in the bucket.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''
<div align="right">—Rupert Bainbridge (and hundreds of others)</div>
|No. Dr. Christopher Landsea of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has [https://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd-faq/#hurricane-mitigation:~:text=Stop%20a%20Hurricane%3F-,Nuclear%20Weapons,-Adding%20Hygroscopic%20Particles published a response] explaining why it wouldn't work.
|-
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''
<div align="right">—Damien</div>
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.
|-
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus Johnson</div>
|About 24 characters.
|-
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''
<div align="right">—David Nai</div>
|You'd have to bike at about 200 m/s, which would make your commute very fast indeed. However, the amount of energy required to bike at that speed would cause you to die from overexertion. This might work if you didn't exert any energy, however.
|-
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''
<div align="right">—Max L</div>
|Using humanity's total produced storage space from the last few years as an upper bound, and assuming 3.5" drives, the Internet is less than the size of an oil tank.
|-
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''
<div align="right">—Chad Macziewski</div>
|Strapping C4 to a boomerang does not sound like an effective weapon. The weapon as depicted in the image would have terrible aerodynamics, and would not fly an easily predictable trajectory. C4 is, by itself, an inert substance which would need some form of detonator to actually explode, in which case it would depend upon how you set it up (e.g. timer or inertial trigger) and at what point in its flight this would activate. ''If'' this happened as it returns (or flies past, if thrown reasonably correctly but being unable or unwilling to catch it), it might kill or injure the thrower and/or those nearby. There were many unstated details as to how the proposal would be implemented, as Randall lampshades in his open answer.
|-
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|24|Model Rockets}}'''
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''
<div align="right">—Greg Schock, PA</div>
|It would take about 65,000, but they’d have to be layered in a cone shape with about 30 stages so the vehicle has thrust for long enough. It could carry 60 kg, much of that spent on all the parts of the rocket that aren't the engine. And this contraption would not attain orbital velocity, but rapidly fall back to Earth after briefly leaving the atmosphere. Accelerating to orbital velocity is a whole other class of problem and cannot be achieved using model rocket engines in any practical way.
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|25|Three Wise Men}}'''
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''
<div align="right">—N. Murdoch</div>
|No, but the paths they would take would make some really cool patterns due to various factors, such as the Earth's rotation and its position changing in its orbit around the Sun.
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}
|
|{{book|22|2025|03|04|YL2VNtus4xk|What if the wise men kept walking after Jesus’s birth?}}
|-
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|26|Leap Seconds}}'''
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Anton (Berlin, Germany)</div>
|The only real way to do this is by hitting Earth with asteroids; all other ideas would be too difficult or wouldn’t work. With 50,000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds (mostly because it would deliver the energy of about one dinosaur-killer asteroid every couple days, wiping out life on Earth quite quickly)
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|27|Death Rates}}'''
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''
<div align="right">—Guy Petzall</div>
|The world population would continue to grow, though 40% more slowly. Pilots, drivers, and surgeons would die en route and mid-operation, but these would be comparable to usual accident rates and handled fairly easily.
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|28|Steak Drop}}'''
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Lahey</div>
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked, as the steak will have to pass through parts of the atmosphere that are freezing cold and the parts of the fall where heat is being applied are more likely to char and disintegrate the steak than cook it.
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}
|{{book|1|23}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Jonathan Bastien-Filiatrault</div>
| rowspan="2" |As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool, as the guards would notice and shoot you to death.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|29|2013|01|22}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|3}}
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}
|-
|{{book|16|short-video=yes|2025|11|18|vBfR2Zb0dkc|Could you swim in a spent nuclear fuel pool?}}
|-
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''
<div align="right">—Glen Chiacchieri</div>
|Most of the Solar System bodies lack atmospheres and thus cannot be flown over. An airplane close enough to the sun to try to fly in its atmosphere would be instantaneously vaporized. It would be difficult to fly on Mars because the atmosphere is thin enough that a plane like the hypothetical Cessna must travel at Mach 1 to stay aloft, which would make the momentum too high for such a plane to steer properly, so you would crash. Jupiter's gravity is too strong, so the plane would sink into the atmosphere, tumbling in the high winds, until the increasing pressure crushed it. The remaining gas giants have weaker gravity, but still have nowhere to land, so you would eventually freeze, tumble and be crushed. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold, so the pilot would freeze to death, and Venus is full of sulfuric acid, which would cause the plane to burn up.
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}
|{{book|1|30}}
|
|-
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''
<div align="right">—Johan Öbrink</div>
|Probably never, unless the Internet's transfer rate grows faster than storage rates, the Internet won't surpass an army of FedEx trucks. However, the ping times would be ''absurd''.
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}
|{{book|1|44}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|32|Hubble}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''
<div align="right">—Kyle Rankin</div>
| rowspan="3" |Very blurry because Hubble isn't able to rotate fast enough to track the surface of the Earth. Hubble is the wrong tool for the job, you're thinking of a spy satellite.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|32|2013|02|12}}
| rowspan="3" |
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}
|-
|{{book|10|short-video=yes|2025|09|16|TgA0lXEW7dw|Could the Hubble take a photo of you?}}
|-
|{{book|11|short-video=yes|2025|09|23|i6e4NnFnQi0|How detailed would the Hubbles images be if it looked at Earth?}}
|-
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|33|Ships}}'''
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Toje</div>
|The sea level would fall by about 6 microns, slightly more than the diameter of a strand of spider silk. However, since the oceans are currently rising at about 3.3 millimeters per year due to global warming, the water would be back up to its original average level in 16 hours.
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|34|Twitter}}'''
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''
<div align="right">—Eric H., Hopatcong, NJ</div>
|Since there are 2 * 10<sup>46</sup> meaningful English tweets based on the original character limit of 140 and written English having an average information content of 1.1 bits per character, reading them all would take 10,000 "eternal years", with an eternal day being the length of time needed to wear down a 100-mile mountain if a bird scraped 1 grain every thousand years.
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}
|{{book|1|50}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|35|Hair Dryer}}'''
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan Terrell</div>
|The box would heat up to about 60°C. This is hot enough to burn out a normal hair dryer. For an indestructible hair dryer, incrementing the power would heat it further until the containing box melted, which would happen by the 187 MW mark for most materials. If both the hair dryer and the box were indestructible, incrementing the power would heat it further until the ground starts melting, and around the 20 GW mark, it would eventually create updrafts and bounce around everywhere. Turning it off and on again (to 11 PW) would launch it out of the sky in glowing fury.
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}
|{{book|1|11}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|36|Cornstarch}}'''
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anna R., Fort Wayne, IN</div>
|It depends what you consider unpleasant. Your sink will clog and your house will flood with oobleck, but if you really really like cornstarch then nothing unpleasant will happen.
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''
<div align="right">—Tim Currie</div>
|Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes. Although with a ballistic launch, you’d only get it supersonic for less than a second, it would spend just a few seconds within hearing range, and the backwards music you'd hear would be mixed with music sounding at half speed as the stereo departs.
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|38|Voyager}}'''
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''
<div align="right">—Elliot Bennett</div>
|You could ''reach'' Voyager I with some well-timed gravity assists from Jupiter and Saturn, but getting back would require an ''absurd'' amount of fuel. You could use ion fields to require less fuel, but they also produce less thrust.
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|39|Hockey Puck}}'''
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''
<div align="right">—Tom</div>
|This can't really happen, due to the size and weight difference between the goalie and a hockey puck. You'd need to fire an object at Mach 8 to knock the goalie back, but firing a puck at that speed would char the puck while air resistance would slow it down. If a hockey puck actually reached the goalie at such a high speed, it would have a similar effect to hitting a cake with a tomato as hard as you can.
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}
|{{book|1|24}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''
<div align="right">—Delphine Lourtau</div>
|Ordinarily, the worst that can happen is the lid blowing off and superheated liquid spraying everywhere, but you can use one to make {{w|Dioxygen difluoride}}, which is much worse.
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|41|Go West}}'''
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''
<div align="right">—Derek</div>
|No. While technically the car fleet could reverse the momentum of the North American plate, the continental drift is being powered by the forces in the Earth's mantle, and these forces outmatch the car fleet by millions of times.
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|42|Longest Sunset}}'''
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Berg</div>
|The longest way you can experience a sunset while driving is on certain roads in Norway and Finland around the winter solstice for 95 minutes, as this is where the best method to outpace the Sun works (outpacing {{w|Terminator (solar)|the terminator}}). The answer references comic [[162: Angular Momentum]].
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}
|{{book|1|52}}
|{{book|32|2025|10|21|U8F7UNK9jco|Can you drive west to lengthen the sunset?}}
|-
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|43|Train Loop}}'''
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''
<div align="right">—Gero Walter</div>
|Even if we change the requirements to just the passengers surviving, this isn't plausible. A train can't complete a full loop without the loop being too small, making the train move too fast and making every passenger die from the g-forces involved.
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|44|High Throw}}'''
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''
<div align="right">—Irish Dave on the Isle of Man</div>
|Based on estimations and aerodynamics calculations, Aroldis Chapman (holder of the record for fastest pitch) could probably throw up to 16 giraffes (80 m) high if he were using a golf ball. Unless you count letting go of balloons, of course.
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}
|{{book|1|38}}
|
|-
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|45|ISS Music Video}}'''
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''
<div align="right">—Various Youtube commenters</div>
|No. If the construction cost of the setpiece is how this is measured, then it would be U2's "Last Night on Earth" on a section of Interstate Highway. If not, then it doesn't even come close to Thriller.
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|46|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Seth C.</div>
|A bowling ball the size of the Earth would be much less dense, and have much less gravity. The surface bumps and ridges would be much smaller than those on Earth with a maximally rough ball having peaks of roughly 200 m. The finger holes, on the other hand, would be huge, about a thousand km across and several thousand km deep. Due to this, the finger holes would collapse. causing eruptions of hydrocarbons and scars similar to those on the Moon.
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''
<div align="right">—Chuck H.</div>
|They wouldn't be able to see us very well. Radio waves fade quickly in space and we've stopped sending out as many of them. If they happened to pick up, they would only get a message similar to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal Wow! Signal]. The best message they could see is visible light, as the water and weather on Earth's surface would be a telltale marker of some form of life.
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}
|{{book|1|28}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''
<div align="right">—Kurt Amundson</div>
|If the British Empire kept the borders it had when the question was written, it would continue to experience eternal sunshine for many thousands of years until a total eclipse hits the Pitcairn Islands at the right time.

However, in 2025, after the publication of this article, [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/clyvv04wk8zt the UK signed a treaty to give the British Indian Ocean Territory to Mauritius]. Once the treaty is ratified, and the territory is officially handed over, the Sun can finally set on the British Empire.
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}
|{{book|1|60}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|49|Sunless Earth}}'''
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''
<div align="right">—Many, many readers</div>
|We would see a variety of benefits across our lives such as the elimination of time zones, more reliable satellites, easier astronomy, and safer wild parsnip, but the downside is we would all freeze and die.
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}
|{{book|1|57}}
|{{book|24|2025|04|15|X7sbn9LMZOg| What if the sun suddenly went out?}}
|-
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|50|Extreme Boating}}'''
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Aron</div>
|It would be difficult to row the boat on mercury because it's very dense. Bromine smells terrible and is highly toxic. Gallium would dissolve an aluminium boat. Liquid tungsten would incinerate you instantly. Liquid nitrogen would kill you either by suffocation or hypothermia. Liquid helium's superfluid properties would sink your boat, but at least you'd hear the “third sound” as you die.
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|51|Free Fall}}'''
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''
<div align="right">—Dhash Shrivathsa</div>
|It takes 26 seconds to fall from the top of {{w|Mount Thor}} into a pit of cotton candy at the bottom of the cliff. The record for the longest wingsuit glide is 3 minutes and 20 seconds, from the {{w|Eiger}} – enough time for Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi to eat 45 hot dogs.
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}
|{{book|1|45}}
|
|-
|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''
<div align="right">—Ginger Bread</div>
|If you dropped 3000 balls as stated, the balls would spread out like a cloud, and most of them would miss, with the remainder striking the target separately from one another. Around 3,000,000 balls would be enough to either crush a person or bury them too deep for them to get out. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}
|
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|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''
<div align="right">—Ted M.</div>
| rowspan="2" |Hundreds of thousands of years, so you'll need a bigger portal. As their basins are cut off, many shallow seas and a few deep trenches remain, leaving much of Earth still covered with water. Massive, unpredictable environmental changes would probably wipe out mankind. If they didn't, the Dutch would take over the world, no longer preoccupied with preventing their lands from flooding as they are now.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|53|2013|07|09}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|48}}
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}
|-
|{{book|17|short-video=yes|2025|12|16|aMshLs0YCTQ|What if you drained the oceans?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''
<div align="right">—Iain</div>
| rowspan="2" |The water would fill the {{w|Valles Marineris}}, eventually leaving only {{w|Olympus Mons}} and some other small islands. The sea would ultimately freeze over, become covered in dust, and migrate to permafrost at the poles. In the meantime, the Netherlands would colonize Mars through the portal. The video additionally mentions that the greenhouse gas effects caused by all the new water might keep Mars's oceans liquid.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|54|2013|07|16}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|49}}
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}
|-
|{{book|18|short-video=yes|2025|12|23|2p305nzcVQE|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}
|-
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''
<div align="right">—Mimi</div>
|The chances they just sneezed are 1 in 40000. There's also a 1 in a billion chance that the person you called just murdered someone, a 1 in 10 trillion chance they've just been killed by lightning, and – if five people spend a day trying this by calling random people – another 1 in 10 trillion chance that you and the other person called each other simultaneously.
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}
|{{book|1|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''
<div align="right">—Connor Childerhose</div>
|A steel cable an inch thick, the lines of an army of thousands of fishermen, or the hair of 20 people. Hair has the highest tensile strength of any material in your body.
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''
<div align="right">—John-Clark Levin</div>
|An inch or a foot wouldn't do much, it would only feel like a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Dropped from its own height, Denali would cause a magnitude 7 earthquake and crush coal to diamonds. Dropped from the edge of Earth's gravity well, that's just a large asteroid (roughly 10% of the energy of the Chicxulub impact that caused the {{w|Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event}}) and it would cause firestorms and an impact winter. If you removed it from Earth's gravity well but still tried to "drop" it, it might crash into Mars instead.
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|58|Orbital Speed}}'''
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
| rowspan="3" |No, because you need to go 8 km/s to stay in orbit, and it would take impossible amounts of fuel to slow down. The Curiosity rover used a heat shield for most of its deceleration and then used the sky crane for finer maneuvering relatively close to the ground.
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Mallow</div>
|-
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Kenny Van de Maele</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''
<div align="right">—Susanne Könings</div>
| rowspan="2" |You'd need six printers, but if using an ink printer, costs would rack up to $500,000 a month, dwarfing paper and maintenance costs. You'd need to file away past versions in case they were reverted (restored), which would be a nightmare.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|58}}
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}
|-
|{{book|19|short-video=yes|2026|01|27|WQTNLuhfkwk|What if you printed all of Wikipedia?}}
|-
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|60|Signs of Life}}'''
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''
<div align="right">—Borislav Stanimirov</div>
|70% of the time you would end up in the ocean. Restricting yourself to land, you'd see farmlands or dirt roads about 20-25% of the time (6-7% overall). But if it’s night, you can see satellites just by looking up.
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|61|Speed Bump}}'''
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''
<div align="right">—Myrlin Barber</div>
|At highway speeds, you could wreck your tires and suspension. Around 150-300 mph, the aerodynamics of a typical sedan will cause it to flip and crash before even reaching the speed bump. At 90% the speed of light, you could face a billion-dollar speeding ticket.
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}
|{{book|1|41}}
|
|-
|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|62|Falling With Helium}}'''
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''
<div align="right">—Colin Rowe</div>
|You would need either an air-filled balloon at least 10 to 20 meters across to slow your fall, or 10 helium tanks that are 250 cubic feet. You'd only have a few minutes though, and starting from a higher place will not help much due to your higher terminal velocity in the thin atmosphere.
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}
|{{book|1|34}}
|
|-
|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''
<div align="right">—James Zetlin</div>
|Using electric consumption and datacenter spending as a measuring stick, Google probably has around 1-2 million servers, which equates to around 15 exabytes (or 15,000,000,000,000,000,000 bytes). Assuming a punch card holds 80 characters, all of that data comes out a pile of punch cards that could cover New England to a depth of 4.5 kilometers/2.8 miles, 3x deeper than the ice sheets that covered the region during the most recent ice age.
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|64|Rising Steadily}}'''
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Rebecca B</div>
|A nudist would survive for five hours, then succumb to the cold. With a good coat, one would survive for seven, even plausibly eight, until reaching the low-oxygen {{w|death zone}} and suffocating. However, your corpse would outlast the Earth as it was swallowed by the Sun.
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}
|{{book|1|15}}
|{{book|37|2026|3|3|oTzW-mTQd5w|What if you floated upwards 1 ft every second?}}
|-
|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|It's difficult to pin down an "average" for Twitter timeline lengths, as it greatly depends on how many people you follow and whom. An estimate by Diego Basch and the Tweet rate as of 2013 suggests that if everyone followed everyone, the section timeline extending to the past would have 345 billion tweets and be 8,000,000 kilometers (5,000,000 miles) tall. Using extrapolation techniques similar to those used in the {{w|German tank problem}}, the future and past timelines combined would likely contain 690 billion tweets.
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}
|
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|-
|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|66|500 MPH}}'''
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''
<div align="right">—Grey Flynn, age 7, Stoneham, MA</div>
|500 mph winds are more than fast enough to pick up a person and propel them through the air. The speed at which the wind starts being able to pick up and propel a person is around 120 mph. In fact, 500 mph winds are so fast that they only occur on Earth in extreme situations like the immediate vicinity of an erupting volcano or the aftermath of a major asteroid impact at which point wind speed would only be one of many dangers to human survival.
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}
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| rowspan="2" |[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|67|Expanding Earth}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''
<div align="right">—Dennis O’Donnell</div>
| rowspan="2" |After a month, the gain would be measurable but within the normal variation of gravity. After a year, it would be more prominent at 5%. Humans could survive with difficulty for a decade, but even in specially-built environments, they would succumb within a century as air itself became toxic from atmospheric pressure. After a few centuries, the Moon would fall into the Roche limit and crumble into rings.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|67|2013|10|15}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|55}}
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}
|-
|{{book|6|short-video=yes|2025|08|05|5k8ciEx__5w|Circumference pop quiz!}}
|-
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|68|Little Planet}}'''
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''
<div align="right">—Samantha Harper</div>
|Technically, yes. However, there would be major challenges. For one, gravity would be at full strength at your feet, but only 25% strength at your head, giving the illusion that you're being stretched. You would only need to be able to dunk a basketball to jump out of the gravity well, or you could alternatively sprint at 5 meters per second; if you don't make it to that point, you would enter a highly irregular orbit during which tidal forces would pull on your body in strange ways.
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}
|{{book|1|22}}
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|-
|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''
<div align="right">—Emily Dunham</div>
|This depends on if Facebook stays popular or declines in popularity over time. In the former case, the dead would only outnumber the living well into the 2100s; while in the latter, this happens around 2060. Facebook can afford to keep all our data indefinitely, but there are ethical questions.
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}
|{{book|1|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Nelson</div>
|A normal, standard-issue mower running for 10 hours straight could cut an area of 25,000 square meters, or 27,000 yards; the ideal frequency to cut your lawn is once every 10 days, which means that 0.25 km² of lawn can be maintained by 10 hours of mowing every day [or 0.6 km² by mowing it constantly]. Using a much faster mower commissioned by the magazine ''Top Gear'' that is used all day, every day, it could cut an adult male cougar's home range (which [https://wdfw.wa.gov/species-habitats/species/puma-concolor#:~:text=Adult%20male%20cougars%20roam%20widely,terrain%2C%20and%20availability%20of%20prey. the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife] reports as 50-150 square miles or 130-390 square kilometers).
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}
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|-
|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|71|Stirring Tea}}'''
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''
<div align="right">—Will Evans</div>
|No, not really. It would take at least 1 horsepower (a lot for a person stirring), and reducing the power would just make it cool faster. Stirring faster and faster would cause a vacuum to form and stirring to become ineffective (and the tea would splash out everywhere).
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}
|{{book|1|61}}
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|-
|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|72|Loneliest Human}}'''
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''
<div align="right">—Bryan J. McCarter</div>
|The most well-documented candidates are the six Apollo astronauts piloting the Command Module orbiting the Moon while their fellow astronauts descended on the surface, at most 3585 km away. Antarctic explorers and pre-colonialism Polynesian explorers have a shot, but there's no good evidence of specific people who beat the Apollo record. Astronauts Mike Collins and Al Worden said they were not at all lonely, the latter even enjoying his solitude.
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}
|{{book|1|63}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''
<div align="right">—(Overheard in a physics department)</div>
|Neutrinos are subatomic particles that barely interact with the universe at all, so it's hard to imagine a scenario where they could harm you, even in a supernova. But at about 2.3 AU, or a little farther than Mars is from the Sun, even the neutrinos would be dense enough to kill you. On the other hand, if you were that close, you were probably inside the star that created the supernova, in which case ''[[#115|Into the Sun]]'' would apply.
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}
|{{book|1|39}}
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|-
|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|74|Soda Planet}}'''
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''
<div align="right">—Brian Roelofs</div>
|Humans have likely consumed 6.5 trillion liters or 1.7 trillion gallons of soda ever, based on estimates of population growth and popularity of soda. Assuming humanity has drunk 100 trillion liters (26 trillion gallons) of water, it is reasonable to conclude that only 0.0000005% of Earth's current water reservoir has been turned into a soft drink. However, considering how long water takes to cycle around and certain prehistoric life forms, the water in the average soda was likely once consumed by a dinosaur.
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}
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|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|75|Phone Keypad}}'''
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''
<div align="right">—Stewart Bishop</div>
|According to Randall, the English word with the most consecutive letters on the same key is "Nonmonogamous". This would require you to type the 6 key (MNO) 16 times without stopping, in order to type 'nonmono'. With every letter included, typing this word would require pressing the 2, 4, 7, and 8 keys once each, and the 6 key a nice, even 20 times. However, Randall is wrong. The actual word with most consecutive letters on the same key is 'nonmonomolecular'. In order to type 'nonmonomo', you need to hit the 6 key a full 20 times. However, typing the full word wouldn't add any more presses of the 6 key, so it takes the same amount of 6 to type the full word as nonmonogamous.
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}
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|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|76|Reading Every Book}}'''
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Gregory Willmot</div>
|About the 1500s, as the population of active English writers reached a few hundred, meaning you would never be able to catch up (using the average word count for a few famous authors as a baseline). You might not want to read them, anyways.
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}
|{{book|2|10}}
|
|-
|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|77|Growth Rate}}'''
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''
<div align="right">—Maria</div>
|We would reach 10 to 12 meters at age 20, though the human body is not scalable to those heights, as our bone structure is too thin, while our hearts wouldn't be able to pump the blood around.
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}
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|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|78|T-rex Calories}}'''
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''
<div align="right">—Tony Schmitz</div>
|Estimates vary, but the T-rex was estimated to need 40,000 calories per day. Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics tells us that the average 80 kg/175 pound human [http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-PERSON&Category_Code=QW contains 110,000 calories]. Therefore, a T-rex would need to eat someone every 2 days or so. On the other hand, a T-rex wouldn't necessarily have to use humans specifically as a food source and could instead eat 80 hamburgers a day.
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}
|{{book|2|7|T. Rex Calories}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|79|Lake Tea}}'''
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Burman</div>
|An average cup of tea requires 2 grams of tea per 100 mL of water, and to make proper tea out of the Great Lakes, you would need 450 billion tons of tea for the Great Lakes' 22,600 cubic kilometers/5400 cubic miles of water. A total year's supply of tea is only 4.8 million tons, which would make tea about as strong as 2 drops in a bathtub. To make proper lake tea, you could use Wular Lake in Kashmir or Ullswater in UK's lake district, due to the volume of both being small enough for the tea to work. Heating those lakes to proper steeping temperature would likely be quite difficult, so Boiling Lake in Dominica or Frying Pan Lake in New Zealand could also be good candidates as they're already hot.
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}
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|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''
<div align="right">—Dave</div>
|''Human'' viruses would fill about ten oil drums. ''All'' viruses would form a wet heap the size of a small mountain, with a texture resembling pus or meat slurry. The viruses are likely to have a small angle of repose, so to avoid having the pile collapse and flood the surrounding area, all the viruses could instead be contained in 150 football stadiums.
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}
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|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|81|Catch!}}'''
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''
<div align="right">—Ed Hui, London</div>
|Yes, eventually the bullet would come to a maximum height, at which point you could grab the bullet before it fell down. You'd need to grip it firmly, because the bullet would still have its rotational momentum and might jump out of your hand. A larger bullet would require a larger height to catch it at, and even then, it would still be difficult to grab. Of course, this is illegal and can injure you or other people.
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}
|{{book|2|12}}
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|-
|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|82|Hitting a comet}}'''
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''
<div align="right">—Tom Foster</div>
|The baseball thing is much harder. You'd have to hit it out of the atmosphere, and a baseball is too small to do that. Even if you could, it's still not a fair comparison because astrophysicists are allowed to refine their approach as they close in on the target, which you can't do with a thrown baseball. It turns out that the comet mission requires about the same level of precision as laser eye surgery.
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|83|Star Sand}}'''
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Wartes</div>
|Although red giants aren't as common as Sun-like stars or red dwarfs, they would form a stretch of gravel that went on for miles due to their large relative volume. 99% of all stars would form a small patch of sand.
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}
|{{book|2|16}}
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|-
|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|84|Paint the Earth}}'''
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Josh (Bolton, MA)</div>
|There isn't enough paint to go around. The total estimated amount of produced paint, a trillion litres, is only enough to paint as much as the land area of Russia.
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}
|{{book|2|14}}
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|-
|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|85|Rocket Golf}}'''
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Dan (Kanata, Ontario)</div>
|A person theoretically ''could'' propel your ship using golf balls, but, assuming they are being fired at 226 mph (363 km/h), the fastest world record, the amount of golf balls needed for this would be around the size of Earth and wouldn't even get you to the Moon. (An ordinary golfer hitting the ball at 120 mph (50 km/h) would need a bag of golf balls bigger than the solar system that would collapse into a black hole and be even more unusable.) You'd need a potato cannon fueled by acetylene firing golf balls at 310 mph (500 km/h) which reduces the size of the golf mass to 150 miles (240 kilometers). This would be incredibly costly and firing them faster would essentially be the same as building a normal rocket.
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}
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|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Russell</div>
|There are a few different frames of reference you can look at, but in normal terms Mariner 10 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1. It's travelled a couple of light-days around the Sun, while the Voyager probes have only travelled a dozen light-hours.
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}
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|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''
<div align="right">—Joausc</div>
|Radio waves are generally ''very weak''. You'd need the collective energy of trillions of cell phones just to levitate a snow flake. To stop a car, you'd need at least 2 trillion joules of radiation, which would vaporize the car and everything else around it.
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}
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|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Seah</div>
|There are currently 400 parts of carbon dioxide per million. To bring it down to pre-Industrial levels, you'd need 450 quadrillion cans of soda, each being able to hold 2.2 grams of CO2. This would cover Earth's land 10 times over.
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}
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|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Leuchtenburg</div>
|Tungsten has the highest melting point of any element, but even tungsten would melt before it got too far. If you protected it with a heat shield, it would get destroyed all the same by the battering of the particles in the Sun's atmosphere. It could possibly penetrate the surface if it was larger, but as it stands, it wouldn't get past the outer layers.
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}
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|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''
''What a great sea that would be!''
''If all the trees were one tree,''
''What a great tree that would be!''
''If all the men were one man,''
''What a great man that would be!''
''If all the axes were one axe,''
''What a great axe that would be!''
''And if the great man took the great axe,''
''And cut down the great tree,''
''And let if fall into the great sea,''
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''

''... How great would all of these things be?"''
<div align="right">—John Eifert (quoting a ''Mother Goose'' rhyme)</div>
|The seas would be a little bigger than the Pacific Ocean. Trees can't grow taller than about 130 meters naturally, and would physically crush itself if above a few kilometers tall. Ignoring these restraints, the tree would be about 75 km tall with trunk diameter of 2 km. Ignoring human size restraints, the person would be close to 3 km tall. The axe would be about 500 meters long and relatively the size of a flimsy hatchet. It may take a few weeks to chop down the tree and the impact would create a tsunami that probably wouldn't wipe out the human race, but would be likely the deadliest single disaster in our history.
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}
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|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|91|Faucet Power}}'''
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''
<div align="right">—David Axel Kurtz</div>
|A small hydroelectric dam in the bathtub would yield about $0.25 per month of electricity, but the best option would probably be to bottle and sell your tap water, yielding about $38 million per year at $1.50 per bottle.
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}
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|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|92|One-Second Day}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''
<div align="right">—Dylan</div>
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}
|{{book|2|21}}
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|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Butler</div>
|Water droplets in air are normally lighter than the air, so this wouldn't happen under normal circumstances. However, at supersonic speeds, the water droplet would jet away from the impact point on the windshield at Mach 18. It wouldn't shatter the windshield, but it would slowly batter it away. If you really want to have your windshield broken by precipitation, it would probably be easier to find a hailstorm and drive under it.
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}
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| rowspan="3" |[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''
<div align="right">—Keira, via Steve Brodovicz, Media, PA </div>
| rowspan="3" |The tower would be far too big to support itself under its own weight. The tower would also extend past the Moon. The sheer amount of elevators needed would provide little to no room for actual usable space. Additionally, space junk would be a large problem, as there is a high probability that space junk would collide with the tower.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|94|2014|04|29}}
| rowspan="3" {{book|2|22}}
|{{book|21|2025|02|11|Z_xJ40QXu7Q|What if you built a billion-story building?}}
|-
|{{book|21|short-video=yes|2026|02|17|J-E8rjWR9rM|What if we built a billion-story building?}}
|-
|{{book|22|short-video=yes|2026|02|24|oMtAHGv-DU4|How many elevators would you need in a billion-story building?}}
|-
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Marmol</div>
|The Apollo Program took about the same manpower as the building of the Great Pyramids, but physics wise, the Great Pyramid only contains 10<sup>12</sup> joules of gravitational potential energy. A single Saturn V rocket's fuel has 20 times more energy.
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''
<div align="right">—Kevin Underhill</div>
|The debt would be incredibly great, to the point that everything ever created by man does not have enough value to pay it off. For comparison, former solicitor general Ted Olson leaked that he charges $1600 per hour for his services. Even if every habitable planet in the Milky Way had a population of 8 billion Ted Olsons, and you hired all of them for a thousand generations, the cost would still be lower than if you lost.
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}
|{{book|2|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|97|Burning Pollen}}'''
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''
<div align="right">—Jessica Thornburg</div>
|It would just warm up the air by a very tiny bit, but only because it's so thinly spread. Gathering all of it from a large enough region into one pile could equal a nuclear weapon.
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''
<div align="right">—Fiona Byrne</div>
|No, you can't. Alcohol in a drunk person's blood would be very diluted and by the time you drank the 14 glasses needed to get drunk, you would've vomited on the account of drinking blood. That aside, you could also get iron overload as well as various blood-borne diseases.
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}
|{{book|2|42}}
|
|-
|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|99|Starlings}}'''
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Basinger</div>
|Each bird is 85 grams, with a density of around 43 grams per square meter. Because of this, the air would be 25 times stronger than the starlings and the substance governing the collapse. The air would have to be bigger than the Earth to collapse the starlings and the starlings themselves would need to be bigger than the Solar System. They would then promptly turn into a star.
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|100|WWII Films}}'''
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''
<div align="right">—Becky</div>
|Assuming the average run time of a WWII film was 95 minutes, the combined length was 300 days, meaning World War II was longer than the movies 7 times over. The two most likely candidates for highest movie:war ratio are the Indo-Pakistani war, which lasted 13 days and has 5 catalogued films about it, and the Anglo-Zanzibar war, which only lasted 38 minutes but lacked any films. In 2015, someone took Randall's advice and made [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5954666/ Zanzibar], a short film (31 minutes) that takes the record.
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''
<div align="right">—Steve Lydford</div>
|Contrary to the name, oil is not made of dead dinosaurs, mostly being composed of marine plankton and algae. Geology is complicated, but the gist is that only a small fraction of a plastic dinosaur toy could've come from dinosaur oil, and depending on the location, it may contain none at all.
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}
|{{book|2|26}}
|
|-
|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|102|Keyboard Power}}'''
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Dickner</div>
|Writing one full novel would provide enough energy to run a laptop for 15 seconds. If each novel takes you six months, this would save a fraction of a penny of electricity. To keep a laptop working on just keyboard power, you'd need to write a novel every ten seconds, and to run a microwave would require one novel per second. Typing fast enough to do either would require your fingers to move at relativistic speeds with similar destructive nuclear consequences of objects doing so to those described in {{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}.
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}
|
|{{book|34|2025|12|02|0L44GEJ5pLE|Can you power your computer by typing?}}
|-
|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|103|Vanishing Water}}'''
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''
<div align="right">—Joanna Xu</div>
|If all water vanished, the first to notice would be anybody currently in the ocean, and over the course of a minute, they would all fall, some of them dying but some surviving with minor injuries. After this, all marine life will have perished. Humans follow soon after as the water cycle would've stopped, collapsing global infrustructure and killing every plant and person by dehydration. The end of the water cycle also leads to a runaway greenhouse effect later on.
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|104|Global Snow}}'''
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''
<div align="right">—Jed Scott</div>
|Snow isn't very dense, and 1 inch of rain would lead to a foot or more of snow. Factoring in snow compressing throughout the day, you would need a mole of snowflakes to cover the Earth in 6 feet in snow.
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}
|{{book|2|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|105|Cannibalism}}'''
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''
<div align="right">—Quinn Shaffer</div>
|If half of the world eats the other half, then it would take about 32 months before it came down to 2 people. However, this is also a very efficient way to get a {{w|Transmissible spongiform encephalopathy|prion disease}}.
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}
|
|{{book|31|2025|09|30|PUtI3xoaHx0|Could we survive eating only humans?}}
|-
|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|106|Ink Molecules}}'''
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''
<div align="right">—David Pelkey</div>
|You'd use about 100,000,000,000,000,000 molecules.
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|107|Letter to Mom}}'''
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''
<div align="right">—Tim</div>
|An ICBM would take 12-15 minutes to cross the distance. While that is the best method, a few other methods come close. The Concorde would only take 30 minutes, while firing something with a rail gun down a vacuum tube would take only 10-20 minutes.
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''
<div align="right">—Rick Lewis</div>
|There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000. That amount of platinum would be worth $13 million, while diamonds, Adcetris and LSD would be valued around 1-2 billion. A shoebox full of plutonium would be worth $3 billion, but since it would also have a mass of about 300 kg, which is well over the critical mass, monetary value is unlikely to be its most relevant property to anyone in its immediate vicinity. If the US Treasury ever decides to mint a trillion dollar coin, it could probably then fit in a shoebox, as could a check for an arbitrarily large sum.
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|31}}
|
|-
|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|109|Into the Blue}}'''
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''
<div align="right">—Garrett D.</div>
|Infinitely powerful laser beams do not exist, and if they did, they would vaporize the air and destroy everything like in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}''. That being said, if it were truly random, it would be aimed at Earth 50% of the time. If you miss the Earth, 89,999 times out of 90,000, your beam will pass right out of the galaxy without hitting anything. When it does hit something, it will almost always be the Sun or the Moon.
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|110|Walking New York}}'''
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''
<div align="right">—Asif Shamir</div>
|Based on estimates of US Postal Service carriers and their travel times, we know that walking every street in NYC would probably take 14 years. Assuming it takes about 25 seconds to enter an apartment building, leave, and go to the next one, it would only take an additional 10 years to visit every apartment. However, under [http://ypdcrime.com/penal.law/article140.htm New York Penal Code], the punishment would take 2 million years or 2,000 millenia to finish.
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|111|All the Money}}'''
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Pino</div>
|Currency only makes up a fraction of Earth's money, and it's unlikely people would agree to your sudden claims of ownership over all of the land, nor would they let you spend the actual currency you have. Said currency would quickly crush you, as most of its weight is in coinage. You could build a structure to contain the coins, but this would violate NYC building codes.
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}
|
|{{book|25|2025|05|06|saj7b5C6TCM|What if you literally had all the money in the world?}}
|-
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|112|Balloon Car}}'''
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''
<div align="right">—Phil Rodgers, Cambridge, UK</div>
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|113|Visit Every State}}'''
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''
<div align="right">—as discussed by Stephen Von Worley <span class="plainlinks">on [http://www.datapointed.net/2012/08/fastest-route-to-visit-all-fifty-united-states/ '''''Data Pointed''''']</span>
|It would take you 160 hours by car, 39 hours by landing a private jet in each state, and 18 hours by F-22 fighter jet and helicopter landing in each state. However, if you relax the requirement to land in each state and simply count entering the state's airspace as "visiting" it, you can do it in around 7 hours with an SR-71 Blackbird. If we allow satellite orbits, you can do it in just over 6 hours with five orbits, assuming your satellite makes a course correction on each orbit.
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|114|Antimatter}}'''
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Gallagher</div>
|It would wipe out all life on Earth, but surprisingly slower than you might expect. The annihilation of antimatter entering the atmosphere would add enough extra heat to create a runaway greenhouse effect and make Earth similar to Venus. We would be in much more danger from meteorites, with dinosaur-killer equivalents hitting the upper atmosphere every few months.
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|115|Into the Sun}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''
<div align="right">—AJ, Kansas City</div>
| rowspan="2" |You would not be warmed if you went to the surface, as the energy received by your skin would be minimal. You would maybe see a bright flash of light. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you, as the energy delivered there would be able to give you a second-degree burn after 1 femtosecond (1 millionth of a nanosecond) in the core.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|115|2014|10|08}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|2|61}}
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}
|-
|{{book|20|short-video=yes|2026|02|03|m1aMh7z8Y7I|What if you teleported to the Sun?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''
<div align="right">—Hunter Freyer</div>
| rowspan="3" |If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|116|2014|10|15}}
| rowspan="3" {{book|2|35}}
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}
|-
|{{book|8|short-video=yes|2025|08|26|eSPcp-tfGbA|How fast could a human accellerate (while staying alive)?}}
|-
|{{book|9|short-video=yes|2025|09|02|rgUfcFAPicY|How fast could a vehicle go around a track - but the racer does not have to survive.}}
|-
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|117|Distant Death}}'''
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''
<div align="right">—Amy from NZ</div>
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}
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|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|118|Physical Salary}}'''
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''
<div align="right">—Julia Anderson, Albuquerque, NM</div>
|At minimum US wage, a worker would earn about one water bottle of mixed coins per day. A CEO would earn about 600 such bottles per day, and the coins would accumulate on the floor at a rate of about 0.5 inches per day. Mark Zuckerberg would earn 25 such bottles ''per second'', and the coins would bury him if he sat still for an hour.
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}
|
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| rowspan="2" |[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Zach Wheeler</div>
| rowspan="2" |It's doable in theory, but the energy required to completely vaporize a raindrop (rather than merely splattering it) is high enough that your surroundings would get dangerously hot. Targeting the droplets might be possible with adaptive optics, but it would require a complicated device. You could try firing rapidly in random directions instead, but your high-powered laser might go several hundred meters without hitting a raindrop, which would endanger your local neighborhood.
| rowspan="2"{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}
| rowspan="2"{{book|2|37}}
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}
|-
|{{book|15|short-video=yes|2025|11|4|xA9aqKGBeOs|Could you use a laser as an umbrella?}}
|-
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''
|Excerpts from ''what if?'' articles written in a world which, thankfully, is not the one we live in.
|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''
<div align="right">—Zoe Cutler</div>
|Anywhere with rain or snowmelt would be horrifically flooded, and ice would break, then dam up rivers, forming huge lakes. Humanity would be worse for the wear, but all in all fine. Places where electricity is gotten using a hydroelectric dam may be out of power for a bit, but the flow of water would return in time.
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)
|
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|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|122|Lava Lamp}}'''
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''
<div align="right">—Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)</div>
|You would need to use a metal or gemstone with a very high heat tolerance. You could possibly use sapphire or some sort of transparent or translucent tungsten, but the clear medium would eventually fog up and prevent you from seeing the lava. The lava would solidify after approximately a minute without some way to continuously heat it.
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}
|{{book|2|40}}
|
|-
|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''
<div align="right">—Mira Kühn, Germany</div>
|If fairies appeared with the first laugh of a ''homo sapiens'', there would be around 100 billion fairies, and they, depending on their size, would probably be considered no more than a common pest. Because of their high population, however, they would probably be considered a major part of the ecosystems where they resided.
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}
|
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| rowspan="2" |[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''
<div align="right">—Kim Holder</div>
| rowspan="2" |It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|124|2015|01|08}}
| rowspan="2" |
|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}
|-
|{{book|7|short-video=yes|2025|08|12|mtTbwHzhUiM|Petition to send a swimming pool to the moon!}}
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|125|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Doug Carter</div>
|It would take two hours and 20 minutes.
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|126|Stairs}}'''
|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Annas</div>
|It would take about half a day by motorcycle, or a week or two for a professional stair-climber. If going on foot, you'd also need to carry a huge backpack stuffed with nothing but sticks of butter in order to get your daily caloric intake (including the energy expended from climbing the stairs).
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|127|Tug of War}}'''
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''
<div align="right">—Markus Andersen</div>
|Two teams of 25 people each would be able to rip a half-inch iron bar apart: tug-o-war is a very dangerous game, as there's so much force being exerted on the rope. The theoretical upper limit of a game is 100,000 players each, pulling a 200-mile–long rope made of graphite ribbons.
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|128|Zippo Phone}}'''
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''
<div align="right">—Ian Cummings</div>
|The Zippo has more energy than your phone battery, but your hand would have even more, when burned as fuel.
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''
<div align="right">—Matt</div>
|Not much would change. A black hole of the Moon's mass would be the size of a sand grain, but gravitational effects would still be more or less the same here on Earth. There would be no moonlight, which would make the Earth a bit colder and mess with some nocturnal animals. You wouldn't see any lunar eclipses due to the tiny size of the Moon. It would only cause significant problems if humans were on the moon at the time.
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}
|
|{{book|28|2025|07|08|UQgw50GQu1A|What if the moon turned into a black hole?}}
|-
|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|130|Snow Removal}}'''
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Van Opens</div>
|The flamethrower is more practical because microwaves don't heat ice very well. The microwave beam would require the power output of three aircraft carriers, and the flamethrower would have a gas mileage of 17 feet per gallon. If you were to drive on the highway for an hour using this method, it would burn 18,635 gallons of gasoline, worth $40,000 to $50,000.
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}
|
|{{book|26|2025|05|27|WYf9-xfm6t8|What if you used a flamethrower as a snowblower?}}
|-
|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|131|Microwaves}}'''
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''
<div align="right">—James</div>
|The first cause of this issue is that the wave pattern of microwaves create 'dead spots' where the food isn't heated. Secondly, melted ice causes some parts to cook while the rest is still defrosting. Use a lower power level, stir your food partway through microwaving, and let it sit for a few minutes before you eat it. This allows the heat to spread evenly.
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}
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|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|132|Hotter than Average}}'''
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''
<div align="right">—Graham Ward</div>
|The water average is the year-round average air temperature. By saying the water is "hotter than average", they're implying the water in the pool is not tied to it. Give the signmakers some credit.
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}
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|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|133|Flagpole}}'''
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''
<div align="right">—Rex Ungericht</div>
|It would be impossible, even a gymnast's arms would be ripped off from the force.
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}
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|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|134|Space Burial}}'''
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''
<div align="right">—Tim in Fremont</div>
|Even before you were launched, your body would dry out very quickly. In low orbit, your body would fall to Earth and be burned from atmospheric re-entry. In a higher orbit, it would be destroyed from space debris. In high orbit, you could last for a few centuries. If your body was ever found it would mean there are a lot of people travelling around: making bodies pretty common.
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}
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|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|135|Digging Downward}}'''
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Kaunis</div>
|To remove all that soil, the energy required would heat up the surrounding beyond fatal levels pretty quickly. Immune to the heat, you could survive for one to two hours, as oxygen becomes toxic at depths higher than 5 kilometers.
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}
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|{{book|38|2026|4|11|https://r7B0MzvwDcA|What if you kept digging downward?}}
|-
|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''
<div align="right">—Marina Fleming</div>
|The Sun, by 13 orders of magnitude (the Sun is very big). But spiders are a lot more scary.
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}
|{{book|2|44}}
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|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|137|New Horizons}}'''
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''
<div align="right">—Robin Sheat</div>
| ''Note: This question was created before ''New Horizons'' passed by Pluto.'' This is extremely unlikely. The ''New Horizons'' probe is quite large, but is considered small for a spacecraft. If it crashed into your car, there would be serious consequences. However, if it did, NASA would be on the hook to replace your car, along with most of your neighbourhood, and clean up the radioactive mess.
|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}
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|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''
<div align="right">—KTH</div>
|No. Before it got to the point where it could float, the submarine would be crushed by the high pressure and melted by the high temperature. This is because gasses behave differently to fluids: the point where things can float is at a much higher pressure.
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}
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|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''
<div align="right">—Ada Munroe</div>
|There's not a whole lot to go on here; we have some data and educated guesses about what's going inside these gas giants, but we haven't sent any probes equipped with operational cameras into a gas giant so we don't really know. A book by Michael Carroll suggests that there is a layer between the upper ammonia haze and lower ammonium hydrosulfide clouds, that could provide some good views, and if so, the view would be similar to Earth's atmosphere in that clouds and fellow submarines would fade into blue.
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}
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|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''
<div align="right">—Noah Williams</div>
|There would be so much energy packed into one space that it would create a black hole as massive as the observable universe that would expand outwards at the speed of light. Because of the charge from the electrons, it would be a {{w|naked singularity}}, a black hole with infinite mass that allows light to escape.
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}
|{{book|2|48}}
|{{book|30|2025|9|9|DiWFXv9N0Vs|What if the Moon were made entirely of electrons?}}
|-
|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|141|Sunbeam}}'''
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Max Schäfer</div>
|According to Randall, parts of the atmosphere would be heated to millions of degrees, and the bubble of destruction would wrap around the Earth before it even reached the other side. The light reflected off the Moon would be hot enough to burn you to death. If the beam couldn't track the Earth, part of it would survive as the Earth orbited out of the way. If the beam reached another planetary system, it could heat up the surface of some distant exoplanets. However, this conclusion depends on the precise nature of the "bundling up". If this "bundling" is accomplished via passive optics such as lenses and mirrors, then the temperature (and geometry) of the incoming beam will be restricted according to all the optics principles described in "Fire from Moonlight", and under no circumstances would any part of Earth's atmosphere or surface exceed 5000 K, due to the laws of thermodynamics. If, however, the "bundling" consists of an "active" procedure of generating electricity via PV panels, and then powering actual laser emitters with it (not just "laser-like") - which doesn't sound like Max's conception - then yes, the narrow beam of essentially "infinite" temperature and consequent destruction that Randall describes could indeed occur.
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}
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|{{book|33|2025|11|11|qu8nx1qUwEU|What if ALL the sun’s power was focused in one place?}}
|-
|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|142|Space Jetta}}'''
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''
<div align="right">—Casey Berg</div>
|The effect of the car's re-entry itself on the environment is going to be small, verging on negligible. The effect of ceasing its usage to burn hydrocarbon fuel for the remainder of the car's life is likely significantly greater than the re-entry, but in practice also negligible. The main non-negligible environmental effect might be from the launch mechanism that was used to get into orbit in the first place, although even this effect, at current rocket launch rates, is still tiny compared to global air travel or ground-based automobile usage.
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}
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|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''
<div align="right">—A group of Google Search SREs</div>
|No, at least not with a siphon. Siphons can only pull water upward to a height where the air pressure feeding water into one side of the siphon equals the weight of the water falling out the other side (creating negative pressure, trying to form a vacuum, which nature abhors). This effect requires a gravitational field and an atmosphere, but cannot be used to pump water above the local atmosphere, and hence out of the local gravity well, under any circumstances - including on Europa.
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}
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|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|144|Saliva Pool}}'''
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''
<div align="right">—Mary Griffin, 9th grade</div>
|For an Olympic pool, it would take you 8,345 years. In order to finish by the present day, you'd need to start during the invention of agriculture.
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}
|{{book|2|53}}
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|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''
<div align="right">—Rogier Spoor</div>
|Unfortunately, it is not possible to summarize Randall's article succinctly, because most of his explanation is completely irrelevant to the question. Randall's answer is effectively "No, and here are a set of correct principles of optics that do not support my claim." The correct answer is "Yes, just like it is possible to start a fire with sunlight reflected off anything else, because the temperature/wavelength/energy of light does not change (substantially) when it is reflected, and the temperature of visible sunlight is around 5000 to 6000 K." (The obvious assumption about the intent behind Rogier's question is that "moonlight" refers to the reflected sunlight, and not the Moon's own surface emission of longwave infrared radiation with a temperature of 300 - 400 K, which we can't see - but this should really be clarified by Rogier.)
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}
|{{book|2|51}}
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|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''
<div align="right">—Dillon</div>
|Even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter, this could never happen, because Jupiter is much more massive than Earth. Gravity assists are like bouncing a tennis ball off a train, and to stop the train, you'd need an awfully large tennis ball. 
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}
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|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|147|Niagara Straw}}'''
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''
<div align="right">—David Gwizdala</div>
|In order to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw, you'd need to accelerate the water to one-quarter light speed, and no machine exists that's capable of doing that. If you tried, at 1300 m/s, the water would reach the maximum speed it can be accelerated to by pressure, and the flow would become choked if the momentum of the water hasn't already broken the acceleration device by that point. You would also get in a lot of trouble with the authorities for messing with the flow rate of Niagara Falls, since that's forbidden by a US/Canada treaty. If you somehow could actually do it, the resulting waterjet would have the power output of a small star, and would boil away the oceans and wipe out all life on Earth.
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)
|{{book|2|55}}
|{{book|27|2025|06|17|pfbzrrcQZjs|What if you funneled Niagara Falls through a straw?}}
|-
|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|148|Eat the Sun}}'''
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—James Mitchell</div>
|0.000000000065%. This is such a ridiculously small portion of the Sun's heat exhaust, that we cannot increase our personal calory intake enough to compensate. Instead we need to add more persons. A lot of them in fact. So many that we need to spread them - and the food that they eat - out throughout not just our galaxy but multiple galaxies. Otherwise, the food alone would be massive enough to turn into a black hole.
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}
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|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|149|Pizza Bird}}'''
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Tina Nguyen</div>
|After careful analysis of wing types, relative weights, and pizza grabbing mechanisms, it is deduced that even the most compatible bird - the eagle - would be hard-pressed to deliver a pizza to an airliner, the relative speed being the largest hurdle. However, delivery to a house - where the relative speed is not so much of a problem - would be possible, though the pizza might be found a slice or two short.
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}
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|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''
<div align="right">—Raga</div>
|Each sun is the source of not just one rainbow, but a whole series of rainbows of diminishing intensity; the elusive 5th order rainbow had apparently been pictured at the time of publication. A planet with two suns would consequently have two series of rainbows. A solar system arranged like Tatooine would have to be circumbinary, which limits the separation of the two rainbow series to about 20 degrees. As the main rainbow is 84 degrees across, this leads to the conclusion that the rainbows would always be overlapping.
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}
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|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|151|Sun Bug}}'''
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Luke Doty</div>
|30 nonillion fireflies (3 with 31 zeroes after it), which is surprisingly small on the astronomical scale. Counterintuitively, it turns out a single firefly actually glows brighter than an equivalent mass of Sun. However, there are logistical problems with organizing that many fireflies, as you need to arrange them so that they're not blocking each others' lights. You can try to simplify it by just using one very large firefly, but it would be larger than the entire Solar System and immediately collapse into the biggest black hole in the universe.
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}
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|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Traeden</div>
|Basically, yes. But there is a lot of digging, and the end result would be quite similar to the Salton Sea which is characterized as "gross" (technical term). Also, heat world records would likely move elsewhere.
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}
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|''The thumbnail for this blog article wasn't archived.''
|'''<span class="plainlinks">[https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153 Peptides]</span>'''
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''
<div align="right">—Kira (Lysine-Isoleucine-Arginine-Alanine) Guth</div>
|For any peptides, 19 letters is the highest possible, that being the word "interdepartmentally". For naturally existing peptides in the human body, 8 letters is the highest known. Examples of 8 letters are: GRISETTE, DATELESS, REVERSAL.
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|notAvailable=Draft published by mistake and deleted. [[what if? (blog)#Peptides incident|Learn why]].}}
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|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Burke</div>
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}
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|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Rooks</div>
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}
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|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''
<div align="right">—<span class="plainlinks">[https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/ '''My Brother, My Brother, and Me'''], [https://maximumfun.org/episodes/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-343-sauce-doctors-blessing/ '''Episode 343'''], discussing a </span>Yahoo Answers question</div>
|As a superior being, the Toaster casts its gaze upon lowly humans and hrumphs at their bickering about such measly temperature variations as 40C. The Toaster regularly reaches 600C and thus, to it - much like to the Fire - everything else is cold, be it room temperature or freezer temperature. Winnipeg locals have it easy and can try this for themselves, as long as they can stave off the wolves.
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}
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|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''
<div align="right">—Madeline Cooper</div>
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}
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|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Ramon Schönborn, Germany</div>
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}
|{{book|2|58}}
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|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|158|Hot Banana}}'''
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''
<div align="right">—Kang Ji</div>
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number, 300 quadrillion, which is enough to bury New York City in a skyscraper-tall pile of bananas. It would be much more energy efficient to simply burn the bananas as fuel, so that you could power a house with 10 bunches a day (or New York City with a pile the size of Liberty Island a week). The fact that you can do that would also make the huge pile of bananas needed to generate power with radioactivity a huge fire (and explosion) hazard, so just burning the bananas is safer as well.
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}
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|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|159|Hailstones}}'''
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Grill</div>
|Hailstones get increasingly dangerous as they get larger, as their increased weight cancels their air resistance, allowing them to reach a higher terminal velocity while still carrying all that mass. Regular hailstones are too slow and light to be lethal, but a soccer ball-sized hailstone would hit at around 140 mph, capable of punching straight through the roof of a car or building. Fortunately, no hailstone on record has ever been that big, although storms can on occasion produce hailstones large enough to damage cars, and in rare cases even kill people.
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Munson</div>
|You'd need approximately a billion plus a trillion cars to pull this off. Also, in addition to destroying global ocean circulation and creating an illegal naval blockade, this is definitely a violation of her rental car agreement. Also, organizing a fleet of that many rental cars would be difficult.
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|161|Star Ownership}}'''
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''
<div align="right">—Reuven Lazarus</div>
|Given that the South pole (of Earth) points towards the Milky way centre, most of the galaxy will wind up in the air-space (space-space?) of countries of the southern hemisphere. However, due to Earth's rotation around its axis, the nadir of the galaxy core (on Earth) will constantly shift. Given that Australia is the largest of the southern countries, Australia will most often be the Rulers of the Universe. Northern hemisphere jurisdictions, such as New Jersey, will have to contend with some pretty nifty black holes and possibly murderous exoplanets.
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}
|{{book|2|24}}
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|'''{{What If|162|Comet Ice}}'''
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Becker</div>
|Only if you had a magical sky-crane that could cancel the comet's initial kinetic energy during capture, then slowly lower it to the ground without converting all of its gravitational potential energy back into more kinetic energy. Converting that potential energy into electricity to substitute for existing fossil fuel power plants would reduce CO2 emissions, but the effect of that substitution on global temperatures is uncertain and likely negligible. Meanwhile, the amount of ice in a comet that could be used to cool the oceans directly is also less than one would expect from its size, since comets are not solid. Overall, the answer is effectively "no".
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}
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| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Global Windstorm'''
| rowspan="3" |''"What would happen if the Earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div>
| rowspan="3" |Everyone would die. Then, the wind would destroy everything, with gusts blowing more than 1,000 mph (1,600 km/h) around the equator, killing 85% of the world population. The highest winds would only last a few minutes, but that would be enough to vaporise most human structures. Bunkers would be useless, because, even if your bunker were stuck to the ground hard, others would not be as strong and would hit yours at 1,000 mph. However, most of the researchers at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}} would be completely fine. The wind blast would then become a heat blast with scorching temperatures and create global thunderstorms in moist areas. After a while, the Earth would gradually start to regain its rotational velocity thanks to the Moon.
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" {{book|1|1}}
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
|{{book|12|short-video=yes|2025|10|07|19gun1mffWs|What would happen to the population if the Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
|{{book|13|short-video=yes|2025|10|14|ERieN5pee7A|What would happen to the Earth if it suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to get your teeth to such a cold temperature that they would shatter upon drinking a hot cup of coffee?"''
<div align="right">—Shelby Hebert</div>
<div align="right"></div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|4}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many houses are burned down in the United States every year? What would be the easiest way to increase that number by a significant amount (say, at least 15%)?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''
|''"I assume when you travel back in time you end up at the same spot on the Earth’s surface. At least, that’s how it worked in the Back to the Future movies. If so, what would it be like if you traveled back in time, starting in Times Square, New York, 1000 years? 10,000 years? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 1,000,000,000 years? What about foward in time 1,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Dettling</div>
|
*1,000 years back, you'd see many chestnut trees, wolves, and passenger pigeons.
*10,000 years back, the ground would be mostly bedrock, with large chunks of ice and dropped boulders, called glacial erratics.
*100,000 years back, several islands were pushed upwards by the ice. You would see many now-extinct species, such as Canis dirus, Smilodon fatalis, and Arctodus.
*1,000,000 years back, you'd see relatives of hyenas called Chasmaporthetes.
*1,000,000,000 years back would be no plants or animals, only single-celled organisms in the ocean.
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|{{book|1|5}}
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|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''
|''"What would happen if you made a periodic table out of cube-shaped bricks, where each brick was made of the corresponding element?"''
<div align="right">—Andy Connolly</div>
|The top two rows wouldn't be too dangerous to build if you can deal with the fluorine setting almost everything else on fire without setting yourself on fire or exposing yourself to corrosive reaction products like hydrofluoric acid, but the rest of the periodic table would seriously injure or kill you. In the third row, the phosphorus, sulfur and chlorine would also catch on fire and make toxic gas. In the fourth row, the potassium would add to the ongoing fire, which would ignite the arsenic making highly toxic arsenic trioxide. Bromine and selenium would also contribute to the toxic compounds produced in the fire, while also making it smell horrible. The fifth row would be similar to the fourth while also including technetium, which is moderately radioactive. In the sixth row, elements with short half-lives would destroy the building you were in as well as causing nuclear fallout to fall nearby. Past the sixth row, the entire city you were in would be destroyed in a nuclear explosion, and the fallout would contaminate the Earth with thousands of times more radioactivity than the Chernobyl disaster.
|
|{{book|1|8}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''
|''"Would dumping anti-matter into the Chernobyl reactor when it was melting down stop the meltdown?"''
<div align="right">—AJ</div>
| No, it would not. According to Randall's answer comic, this idea deserves a "For God's Sake, What Were You Thinking?" Award.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|12}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Is it possible to cry so much you dehydrate yourself?"''<div align="right">—Karl Wildermuth</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''The Last Human Light'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If every human somehow simply disappeared from the face of the Earth, how long would it be before the last artificial light source would go out?"''
<div align="right">—Alan</div>
| rowspan="2" |Anything that depends on the power grid will go out in a few hours after the fossil fuel plants stop getting supplied with fuel because the sudden reduction in working power plants will cause cascade failures leading to a blackout without human guidance. Lights powered by diesel generators will stay on until the fuel runs out, probably in a matter of months at most. Lights powered by geothermal plants, wind turbines and hydroelectric dams will run until their power source has a mechanical failure, possibly for several years. Battery powered lights will go out in a decade or two at most due to self discharge of the batteries. Lights powered by nuclear reactors will go out fairly quickly because the SCRAM would get triggered by the loss of external power. The Curiosity rover would have lights that could theoretically work for over a century if only someone was there to turn them on. Solar powered emergency call boxes have lights that would stay on until the electronics degrade, possibly as long as a century. Radioactive waste that was mixed with glass to facilitate shielding, transportation and storage will glow for centuries due to Cherenkov radiation.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|13}}
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}
|-
|{{book|5|short-video=yes|2025|07|29|kNry0bf7eC0|Could this be the last surviving human light source?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''
| colspan="2" |''"Given humanity’s current knowledge and capabilities, is it possible to build a new star?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Gordon</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|16}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What sort of logistic anomalies would you encounter in trying to raise an army of apes?"''<div align="right">—Kevin</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If people had wheels and could fly, how would we differentiate them from airplanes?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Orbital Submarine'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would a nuclear submarine last in orbit?"''
<div align="right">—Jason Lathbury</div>
| rowspan="2" |Submarines are, unsurprisingly, very good at being watertight. This would mean that, mostly, air would stay within the submarine for a time. However, a nuclear submarine is able to stay under for so long because it can convert seawater into oxygen. With no seawater, no oxygen is made, which means that eventually they will run out of air. Getting back into the atmosphere would be tricky. Firing all of a submarine's missiles backwards (i.e. towards the ship) with their detonators removed would produce just enough force for the sub to deorbit and reenter the atmosphere. At that point, the heat and forces of reentry would rip the submarine apart, similar to the {{w|Space Shuttle Challenger disaster}}.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|17}}
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}
|-
|{{book|4|short-video=yes|2025|07|22|sFTRRdHqZIQ|Why Space Is Actually Warm!}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''
|''"Would it be possible to stop a volcano eruption by placing a bomb (thermobaric or nuclear) underneath the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Tomasz Gruszka</div>
| No, it would not.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|20}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
|''"A friend of mine is convinced that there is sound in space. There isn’t, right?"''<div align="right">—Aaron Smith</div>
| You are correct. There isn't.
|-
|
|'''Human Computer'''
|''"How much computing power could we achieve if the entire world population stopped whatever we are doing right now and started doing calculations? How would it compare to a modern-day computer or smartphone?"''
<div align="right">—Mateusz Knorps</div>
|The combined computing power of all devices surpassed the power of all humans in 1977.
|
|{{book|1|21}}
|
|-
|
|'''Common Cold'''
|''"If everyone on the planet stayed away from each other for a couple of weeks, wouldn't the common cold virus be wiped out?"''
<div align="right">—Sarah Ewart</div>
|In theory, this would work. In practice, it wouldn't for a simple reason: Some people have compromised immune systems. These people's bodies can be a safe haven for rhinoviruses, which would mean the common cold, would quickly spread through the population again. The world's food supplies would also be an issue, as people may need to eat foods not designed to be eaten directly (i.e. raw grain). Many systems would shut down as people wouldn't be there to maintain them. Many millions would be stranded in places like Antarctica or the Sahara Desert, which would lead to many deaths. In effect, the scenario would be similar to 'Everybody Jump'.
|
|{{book|1|25}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''
| colspan="2" |''" If global warming puts us in danger through temperature rise, and super-volcanos put us into danger of global cooling, shouldn’t those two dangers balance each other out?"''
<div align="right">—Florian Seidl-Schulz</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|27}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How fast would a human have to run in order to be cut in half at the bellybutton by a cheese-cutting wire?"''<div align="right">—Jon Merrill</div>
|-
|
|'''No More DNA'''
|''"This may be a bit gruesome, but... if someone's DNA suddenly vanished, how long would that person last?"''
<div align="right">—Nina Charest</div>
| At the instant of vanishing, you would suddenly lose a third of a pound and your muscles might twitch from the change in mass. You would then suffer similar symptoms to those caused by toxins or radiation that severely damage DNA. You would probably have nausea and diarrhea. You would probably develop anemia. Your hair would probably fall out. Your immune system would collapse. You could live for several hours or days before succumbing to infection or system-wide organ failure.
|
|{{book|1|29}}
|{{book|35|2026|01|20|s3oLIDaElaE|How long would you survive with no DNA?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the total nutritional value (calories, fat, vitamins, minerals, etc.) of the average human body?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Risner</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|31}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What temperature would a chainsaw (or other cutting implement) need to be at to instantly cauterize any injuries inflicted with it?"''<div align="right">—Sylvia Gallagher</div>
|-
|
|'''Flyover States'''
|''"Which US state is actually flown over the most?"''
<div align="right">—Jesse Ruderman</div>
|Somewhat surprisingly, Virginia, due to a large amount of flights from Toronto to the Caribbean/South America. Despite it having many major airports, including most of those serving DC, there are also many major airports which have routes passing over Virginia, such as KATL and KJFK. At the time of writing, Delaware had the greatest ratio of flights over it to flights to it because it did not have an active commercial airport (Since New Castle Airport resumed commercial service in 2013, this has probably changed.). Hawai'i is the least flown over state, followed by California. Hawai'i is a group of small islands in the middle of a big ocean, and flights that would otherwise fly over California are encouraged to land there instead by post-9/11 rules that discourage carrying excessive fuel. Strangely, Hawai'i is the most flown under state because the part of Botswana on the opposite side of the Earth from Hawai'i has more flights pass over it than any of the various parts of the Indian Ocean opposite the other states.
|
|{{book|1|33}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''
| colspan="2" |''"In Thor the main character is at one point spinning his hammer so fast that he creates a strong tornado. Would this be possible in real life?"''
<div align="right">—Davor</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|36}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If you saved a whole life’s worth of kissing and used all that suction power on one single kiss, how much suction force would that single kiss have?"''<div align="right">—Jonatan Lindström</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many nuclear missiles would have to be launched at the United States to turn it into a complete wasteland?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Self-Fertilization'''
|''"I read about some researchers who were trying to produce sperm from bone marrow stem cells. If a woman were to have sperm cells made from her own stem cells and impregnate herself, what would be her relationship to her daughter?"''
<div align="right">—R Scott LaMorte</div>
| As there is no father to contribute a Y chromosome, the child is guaranteed to be a girl. As the child is coming from, effectively, two parents with identical DNA, there would be many genetic defects, similar to being as inbred as the result of three generations of consecutive sibling marriages. This is, as demonstrated by various royal families, a very bad idea. It would be relatively likely for any given human self-fertilization to have a non-viable result.
|
|{{book|1|37}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''
|''"A toxin blocks the ability of the nephron tubule reabsorption but does not affect filtration. What are the possible short-term effects of this toxin?"''
<div align="right">—Mary</div>
| Randall's answer comic indicates that since he's a cartoonist not a doctor, he is unqualified to answer this question.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|40}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If a Venus fly trap could eat a person, about how long would it take for the human to be fully de-juiced and absorbed?"''<div align="right">—Jonathan Wang</div>
|-
|
|'''Lost Immortals'''
|''"If two immortal people were placed on opposite sides of an uninhabited Earthlike planet, how long would it take them to find each other? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 100,000,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Lake</div>
|Depending on strategy and terrain, a few years to a few decades. Based on the communication methods of ants, Randall suggests that the immortals leave trails of markers of when they were there and which way they went as they travel and if they find the other immortal's markers follow them as fast as possible.
|
|{{book|1|42}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''
|''"Could you survive a tidal wave by submerging yourself in an in-ground pool?"''
<div align="right">—Chris Muska</div>
| No, that would be a very bad idea.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|46}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
|''"If you are in free fall and your parachute fails, but you have a Slinky with extremely convenient mass, tension, etc., would it be''
possible to save yourself by throwing the Slinky upward while holding on to one end of it?"<div align="right">—Varadarajan Srinivasan</div>
| No, it would not.
|-
|
|'''Sparta'''
|''"In the movie 300 they shoot arrows up into the sky and they seemingly blot out the sun. Is this possible, and how many arrows would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Anna Newell</div>
|300 arrows per second with densely packed archers could blot out 99% of the Sun's light. If the Sun were low in the horizon, you could more effectively block sunlight with less arrows if the arrows were aimed to pass between the battlefield and the Sun. However, this would have little to no effect on the opponent, unless it required solar panels.
|
|{{book|1|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lego Bridge'''
|''"How many Lego bricks would it take to build a bridge capable of carrying traffic from London to New York? Have that many Lego bricks been manufactured?"''
<div align="right">—Jerry Petersen</div>
|Enough bricks have been manufactured to connect London and New York, but the bridge would not be structurally sound enough to stay together for very long.
|
|{{book|1|51}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the probability that if I am stabbed by a knife in my torso that it won’t hit anything vital and I’ll live?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|54}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If I were on a motorbike and do a jump off a quarter pipe ramp, how fast would I need to be moving to safely deploy and land using the parachute?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What if every day, every human had a 1 percent chance of being turned into a turkey, and every turkey had a 1 percent chance of
being turned into a human?"''<div align="right">—Kenneth</div>
|-
|
|'''Weightless Arrow'''
|''"Assuming a zero-gravity environment with an atmosphere identical to Earth's, how long would it take the friction of air to stop an arrow fired from a bow? Would it eventually come to a standstill and hover in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Estano</div>
|The arrow would stop at about 5 to 10 kilometers and float if the space it was being loosed in were large enough to allow that. Since the only sustained zero-gravity environment with an Earth-like atmosphere in real life is on the International Space Station, where Kibo the longest module is 10 m long, realistically the arrow would hit something and potentially cause serious damage.
|
|{{book|1|56}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''All the Lightning'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If all the lightning strikes happening in the world on any given day all happened in the same place at once, what would happen to that place?"''
<div align="right">—Trevor Jones</div>
| rowspan="2" |A typical lightning strike delivers enough energy to power a residential house for about 2 days. Hence, even in lightning-prone regions the power delivered to the ground by the sun outweighs the power delivered to the ground by lightning by a factor of a million. Assuming that the lightning bolts come down in parallel, our bundle (containing about a million bolts) would be around 6 meters in diameter. It would deliver about two atomic bombs worth of energy to the air and ground, leaving a crater the size of a basketball court. Inside the channel, the air would turn into high energy plasma. The light and heat from the bolt would spontaneously ignite surfaces for miles around while the shockwave would flatten trees and demolish buildings. A copper cable a meter in diameter could in theory conduct the brief surge of current from the bolt without melting, however anything on the other end of the cable wouldn't be able to conduct it properly.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|62}}
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}
|-
|{{book|3|short-video=yes|2025|07|15|_efsqO-4OoQ|Could We Harvest Power From Lightning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''
|''"What if everyone in Great Britain went to one of the coasts and started paddling? Could they move the island at all?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen Eubanks</div>
| No, they could not.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|64}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
|''"Are fire tornadoes possible?"''<div align="right">—Seth Wishman</div>
| Yes, [[Wikipedia:Fire_whirl|fire tornadoes]] are a real phenomenon which Randall finds very impressive.
|-
|
|'''Neutron Bullet'''
|''"If a bullet with the density of a neutron star were fired from a handgun (ignoring the how) at the Earth's surface, would the Earth be destroyed?"''
<div align="right">—Charlotte Ainsworth</div>
|No. The bullet would fall through the ground and stop in the center of the Earth. If the bullet were actually made of neutron star material, it would violently explode back into normal matter when removed from the neutron star gravity well with more energy than any nuclear weapon, but since the question does not specify this, Randall chose to imagine a stable material of the same density. If the bullet could be kept at the surface of the Earth, it would be relatively safe to stand several meters away from, but if you came too close, the gravity would pull you in and when you touched it drain all your blood. If the bullet were covered in water of just the right density, you could possibly safely touch it and then pull away, but it would still be risky to attempt.
|
|{{book|1|67}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''
| colspan="2" |''"What if I swallow a tick that has Lyme disease? Will my stomach acid kill the tick and the borreliosis, or would I get Lyme disease from the inside out?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Vogel</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|68}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet, would be required to "bring it down"?"<div align="right">—Brittany</div>
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Richter 15'''
| rowspan="3" |''"What if a Richter magnitude 15 earthquake were to hit America at, let's say, New York City? What about a Richter 20? 25?"''
<div align="right">—Alec Farid</div>
| rowspan="3" |A magnitude 15 earthquake would destroy the Earth, but going higher won't make much difference. You can actually go lower than 0, though.
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" {{book|1|69}}
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}
|-
|{{book|1|short-video=yes|2025|06|24|wBLVmEZV2Oc|How high could the magnitude of Earthquakes go?}}
|-
|{{book|2|short-video=yes|2025|07|01|FKXVs4UteSc|Is there such a thing as a magnitude 0 earthquake?}}
|-
|
|'''Soupiter'''
|''"What would happen if the Solar System was filled with soup out to Jupiter?"''
<div align="right">—Amelia</div>
|The soup would collapse into a very large black hole and devour the Milky Way, though we would feel mostly fine for the first 10 to 15 minutes.
|
|{{book|2|1}}
|
|-
|
|'''Helicopter Ride'''
|''"What if you were hanging on a helicopter blade by your hands and then someone turned it on?"''
<div align="right">—Corban Blanset</div>
|Without any grip assistance, you'd fall off before it completed its first revolution. With handholds, your body would instead fall off of your arms. Assuming no issues with staying on the wing, there would be more problems to follow. The helicopter, as it spooled up, would begin violently wobbling due to the constantly changing center of gravity before flipping itself, destroying both you and the pilot in a massive fireball.
|
|{{book|2|2}}
|
|-
|
|'''Dangerously Cold'''
|''"Would there be any danger from standing next to a large object that was 0 Kelvin?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher</div>
|There wouldn't be a lot of direct danger from the cube itself, though it would make you feel cold. The bigger danger would be from liquid oxygen condensing and igniting flammable objects. It would take a while to reheat the cube
|
|{{book|2|3}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''
|''"What if we somehow evaporated a solid block of iron on {{asic|ear|th''}}''?"''
<div align="right">—Cooper C.</div>
|The cube would ignite whatever is near it and deposit large quantities of iron flakes downwind. However, it wouldn't make a huge impact on the total amount of atmospheric iron.
|
|{{book|2|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''
|''"If the universe stopped expanding right now, how long would it take for a human to drive a car all the way to the edge of the universe?"''
<div align="right">—Sam H-H</div>
|First off, a human can't do this. Assuming a normal crash rate, an average human driver wouldn't make it past Mars without crashing. Even truck drivers, a field where the crash rate is much lower, wouldn't make it past Jupiter. Using a self-driving car, however, would negate this. It would take an incredibly long time, on the order of approximately 480 quadrillion years if you're driving at a steady pace of 65 miles per hour. Assuming you want to keep your car functional, you would go through 30 quintillion oil changes. Assuming a reasonable 33 MPG highway mileage, the amount of gasoline needed would be similar to the Moon in size. You would also need 10^17 tons of snacks. Entertainment would be another issue. If every person who has ever lived had 150 friends/acquaintances, listening to a real-time podcast of someone's life, all from the perspective of a different friend/acquaintance, you would need to re-watch them all 150 times to make it to the edge of the observable universe. Once you get there, there would be no Earth to come back to.
|
|{{book|2|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pigeon Chair'''
|''"How many pigeons would it require in order to lift the average person and launch a chair to the height of Australia's Q1 skyscraper?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|The optimal method for using the least amount of pigeons would be to use a multi-stage system of sorts. A group of pigeons would lift you about 10 feet, before dropping you as another group swoops in to take their place. However, even with this system, the number of pigeons would be large enough that the Earth would be pulled into the pigeons by gravity instead of the other way around. In other words, if you want to get to the top of Australia's Q1 skyscraper, use an elevator.
|
|{{book|2|6}}
|
|-
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"|'''Short Answers #1'''
|''"What if your blood became liquid uranium? Would you die from radiation, lack of oxygen, or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Chattaway</div>
|You would die Having-no-Blood-and-Being-Full-of-Molten-Uranium Syndrome. Also known as Jeff's Disease.
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"{{book|2|6.5}} (S1)
|rowspan="11"|
|-
|''"Could someone have an anime-style attack where they created a sword out of air? I'm not talking about an air blade, but something like cooling the air enough so that you had solid air to attack people."''
<div align="right">—Emma</div>
|Theoretically yes, but it would be extremely impractical. The temperature to turn oxygen solid is very low, and even with proper insulation it would still cause frostbite. It would also be very weak and very soft, and would sublimate quickly, basically making it useless for all intents and purposes, except for PR.
|-
|''"How much water do you have to drink to become 99 percent water?"''
<div align="right">—LyraxH</div>
|About 500 gallons of water.
|-
|''"What would we see if we attached a lightweight camera to a balloon and let it fly away?"''
<div align="right">—Raymond Peng</div>
|We would see a balloon slowly flying away, fading into the sky. It would be quite pretty. Though next time we should probably attach a transmitter.
|-
|''"How many calories does Mario burn a day?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel and Xavier Hovley</div>
|Mario starved to death in late 1985.
|-
|''"If a snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed a balloon whole, could/would the balloon carry the snake up?"''
<div align="right">—Freezachu</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you were to jump out of an airplane that was traveling at Mach 880980 that was 100,00 feet above ground in New York City, with skydiving gear, could you survive?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Catten</div>
|rowspan="2"|No, you would die.
|-
|''"If there was no water on Earth, would we all live?"''
<div align="right">—Karen</div>
|-
|''"Is it possible to make a homemade jetpack?"''
<div align="right">—Azhari Zadil</div>
|It's very easy to make one that works once; much harder to make it work more.
|-
|''"I was wondering whether there's a way to use my welder as a defibrillator? (The specific model I own is an Impax IM-ARC140 arc welder.)"''
<div align="right">—Łukasz Grabowski</div>
|No, and you probably shouldn't be allowed to use it as an arc welder either.
|-
|''"What if all atoms on Earth were expanded to the size of a grape? Would we survive?
|I don't know how to answer this with science, but now I want grapes.
|-
|
|'''Geyser'''
|''"If one were to stand on top of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, at what speed would they be launched upwards and what injuries would they likely sustain?"''
<div align="right">—Catherine McGrath</div>
|If you positioned yourself in just the right way, and used an umbrella to catch as much lift as possible, you could be launched hundreds of feet in the air. Unsurprisingly, you'd receive severe burns and almost certainly die. Surprisingly, however, you would be far from the first person to get severe burns from the geysers.
|
|{{book|2|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''
|''"If you shot a ridiculously powerful gun/{{asic|la|zer''}}'' would it go off the edge of the world in a straight line or curve around the world?"''
<div align="right">—Maelor</div>
|The beam would go off the edge of the world, except under certain circumstances.
|
|{{book|2|9}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''
|colspan="2"|''"Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences?"''
<div align="right">—Sadie Kim</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|10.5}} (W1)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill, or at least, injure somebody?"''
<div align="right">—Eli Collinge</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If you had to remove the tonsils of a giant, what would be the safest way for you to do it? The surgeon is a normal human."''
<div align="right">—Tirzah</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would it take to defeat Air Force One with a drone???"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Banana Church'''
|''"Can all the world's bananas fit inside of all of the world's churches? My friends have had this argument for a little over 10 years now."''
<div align="right">—Jonas</div>
|Yes. They would likely only fill the churches to 6 inches deep. For the bananas to be unable to fit, each person would need to eat a 1 foot by 1 foot by 2 meter crate's worth of bananas per year.
|
|{{book|2|11}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''
|''"I want to lose 20 pounds. How much of the Earth's mass would I have to "relocate" to space in order to achieve my goal?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Murphy</div>
|You would have to remove 85% of the Earth's mass. However, due to the increase in density in the mantle, you would actually gain weight until you've removed about half the Earth's diameter. An image of what it would look like is shown in [[2575: What If? 2]], where a potato peeler is used to remove the crust of the Earth.
|
|{{book|2|13}}
|
|-
|
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''
|''"Dear Randall, what would happen if you shrunk Jupiter down to the size of a house and placed in a neighborhood, say, replacing a house?"''
<div align="right">—Zachary</div>
|Assuming density stayed the same when you shrunk Jupiter down, the biggest issue would be that the gravity that keeps its hot interior together would no longer exist, essentially creating a giant fireball that would turn into a mushroom cloud, and eventually spread out into a big cool cloud. This would, effectively, be the reverse of the formation of Jupiter, which started as clouds before being compressed into a small hot ball.
|
|{{book|2|15}}
|
|-
|
|'''Swing Set'''
|''"How tall can a swing set be while still being powered by a human pumping their legs? Is it possible to build a swing set tall enough to launch the rider into space if they jump at the right time? (Assuming the human has enough energy, which my 5-year-old seems to have.)"''
<div align="right">—Joe Coyle</div>
|This is impossible due to the fact that, by pumping the legs, you are essentially pushing against the crossbar of the swing set. A string which is too long will result in a very low amount of force being delivered to the crossbar, lowering the maximum angle you can swing relative to the base of the curve. Calculations show that the optimal crossbar height to gain the most angle relative to the ground is approximately 8 feet.
|
|{{book|2|17}}
|
|-
|
|'''Airliner Catapult'''
|''"My friend is a commercial airline pilot. She says that a significant amount of fuel is spent on takeoff. To save fuel, why couldn't we launch airplanes using catapult systems like on aircraft carriers (calibrated to normal human accelerations)? Could significant amounts of fossil fuels be saved if the catapults could be run by some other clean energy? I'm imagining a rope ... one end tied to the airplane, the other tied to a large boulder at the edge of a cliff. Just push the boulder off the cliff!"''
<div align="right">—Brady Barkey</div>
|It's not a completely ridiculous idea, but the most practical issue is that you'd have to extend the roughly mile-long runway several times more to take full advantage of it. Using the proposed rope-and-cliff system, you'd need to use a thousand ton weight dropped at the height of a super tall skyscraper - of course, if you used something heavier, like the 80,000-ton Washington Monument, you wouldn't need to drop it as far.
|
|{{book|2|18}}
|
|-
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"|'''Short Answers #2'''
|''"Billy the Clown is running out of cash, so in order to raise money, he devises his newest trick: He will inflate, by mouth, a standard-size party balloon until the material (some form of indestructible rubber) is just one atom thick. How large would the inflated party balloon be?"''
<div align="right">—Alan Fong</div>
|It's a total mystery why Billy is running out of cash.
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"{{book|2|18.5}} (S2)
|rowspan="14"|
|-
|''"How many leaf blowers would it take to move a standard SUV"''
<div align="right">—Ashley H.</div>
|Somewhere around 1-2 dozen leaf blowers would do the trick. However, it would be very impractical, consume a lot of fuel, and the acceleration would be very slow. Many more leaf blowers would be needed to accelerate the car at a reasonable rate.
|-
|''"If you put a vacuum at extremely high suction and aimed it at a normal BMW sedan, what would happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Nothing. Cars, even small ones like sedans, are far too large and heavy to be affected by a vacuum, even a very large and powerful one.
|-
|''"On a warm summer evening, when you sit outside with a light on, you can be sure that bugs will be attracted to the light. Then why is it that these same bugs don't fly toward the biggest and strongest lamp of them all, namely the Sun, during the day?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Those who did would die and not be able to produce offspring with the same traits.
|-
|''"If you collected all of the guns in the world and put them on one side of the Earth, then shot the all simultaneously, would it move the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan</div>
|It would not move the Earth, but it would make the other side a nicer place to live.
|-
|''"What would happen if you microwaved a small microwave, while the smaller one was on as well?"''
<div align="right">—Micheal</div>
|Randall gave the meme answer of 'You would no longer be welcome in that IKEA.' In reality, this would almost certainly lead to some dire consequences. Microwaves contain sensitive electronics which would be damaged from excess heat{{cn}}, leaving the microwave functionally useless. Most microwaves are also made of metal, which is known for exploding when exposed to microwaves. This is the same principle that causes forks to explode when placed in one.
|-
|''"If you're jumping on a trampoline, how fast would your body have to be going to:<br>'''A.''' Break all bones on impact<br>'''B.''' Make your body go though the tiny holes of the mesh."''
<div align="right">—Micah Lane</div>
|<ol style="list-style-type: upper-alpha">
<li>Breaking all of the bones in your body would be hard because a lot of them are very small, but it would be fast enough that the trampoline wouldn't make much of a difference.</li>
<li>This can't happen, no matter how fast you're going.</li>
</ol>
|-
|''"I have a Nothing Grenade™. When detonated, it instantly replaces itself with a sphere of perfect vacuum 2 meters across. What would actually happen when it went off?"''
<div align="right">—Dave H.</div>
|As the two-meter vacuum circle appeared, the surrounding air would rapidly fill in the sudden gap. Almost instantaneously, the air would collide and expand out with enough force to possibly kill a human and damage small structures such as bookshelves or walls. In other words, you basically have a regular grenade.
|-
|''"Is space hot or cold?"''
<div align="right">—Isaac</div>
|The answer to this is complicated. Temperature is a measurement of the speed of particles. In space, having no air resistance, particles move incredibly fast. However, because it's a vacuum, there are almost no particles. This is a similar principle to the reason you don't get burned when welding sparks touch your skin. They're so small they do basically nothing to you. As there are almost no particles to impact you, space is the hottest place you can freeze to death.
|-
|''"How many bones can you remove from the human body while allowing the human to continue living? Asking for a friend."''
<div align="right">—Chris Rakeman</div>
|That person is not your friend.
|-
|''"What would happen if you put a human under a g-force of 417 Gs for twenty seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Nythill</div>
|The human is guaranteed to die. Scientific tests have shown that, despite the human body's ability to withstand g-forces into the hundreds for very short periods of time (a car crash may exceed 100 Gs of force), going over 18 Gs for a long period of time is likely to cause the human to black out and quickly die, as the force would prevent blood from being able to flow through a human body properly. This is the same reason why bugs are unable to move after hitting a car on the highway, even if they survive.
|-
|''"Where or how can one commit a murder and not be prosecuted for it?"''
<div align="right">—Kunai Dhawan</div>
|Theoretically, in a section of Yellowstone National Park, where {{w|Zone of Death (Yellowstone)|a jury would have to be formed from a non-existent population}}. In practice, you'd definitely still be prosecuted for committing a murder there.
|-
|''"I read today that insects make at least $57 billion a year for the US economy. If we were to pay every single insect in the United States equally for their economic contribution, how much would each insect get?"''
<div align="right">—Hannah McDonald</div>
|Each insect would get $0.0000029.
Broken down:
*$18 billion to flies, including mosquitoes
*$16 billion to bees, wasps, and ants
*$10 billion to beetles
*$7 billion to thrips
*$1 billion to butterflies and moths
*$1 billion to true bugs
*$4 billion to all other insects
|-
|''"What, in today's world and yesterday's world, does it mean to be human, in all social and biological factors?"''
<div align="right">—Seth Carrol</div>
|You meant to submit this to ''Why If?: Deeply Ungrammatical Answers to Unanswerable Philosophical Questions''.
|-
|
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''
|''"What if an object like the Chicxulub impactor hit earth with a relatively low relative speed of (let's say) 3 mph"''
<div align="right">—Beni von Alemann</div>
|Even though the meteor is slow, it's still very big. The impactor would not create a crater, but would instead create a weird effect which makes the rock flow like water, creating a large "space dirt pancake" about the same diameter as the Chicxulub impact Crater. If {{w|Jurassic Park}} were a real place, it could certainly cause a dinosaur extinction over there, if dropped on it.
|
|{{book|2|19}}
|
|-
|
|'''Elemental Worlds'''
|''"What if Mercury (the planet) were entirely made of mercury (the element)? What if Ceres was made of cerium? Uranus made of uranium? Neptune made of neptunium? What about Pluto made of plutonium?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Earth would (mostly) be fine. Mercury, uranium, neptunium, plutonium, and cerium would all replace the old planets. Changes are as follows:
*Pluto would be visible to the naked eye
*Ceres would be visible to the naked eye
*Mercury would be visible to the naked eye
*Uranus would look a fairly bright star in the night sky
*''When Neptune hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's an x-ray..''
|
|{{book|2|20}}
| 
|-
|
|'''Tire Rubber'''
|''"Rubber tires on millions of cars and trucks start with about ½" tread and end up bald. Rubber should be everywhere, or at least our highways should be made thicker. Where's the rubber?"''
<div align="right">—Fred</div>
|An average tire sheds about 1.6 liters of rubber over the course of its lifetime (from new to bald). If all tire rubber stuck to the road, it would rise by about a third of a millimeter per year. However, most tire rubber shavings are small enough to drift through the air, or for rain and wind to wash them off the road. Tire rubber is more than enough to cause environmental disruption and it's one of the leading causes of microplastics in our oceans.
|
|{{book|2|25}}
|
|-
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"|'''Short Answers #3'''
|''"How long do you think two people would have to kiss continuously before they had no lips left?"''
<div align="right">—Asli</div>
|That's not how lips work
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"{{book|2|26.5}} (S3)
|rowspan="10"|
|-
|''"My college friend and I have had this debate for years now: If you put a million hungry ants in a glass cube with one human, who's more likely to walk out alive?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Bowman</div>
|The human would try to break out of the cube, and probably succeed. Although disgusted, the human would probably be fine. Ants generally do not eat meat, preferring leaves and other foliage. If they escaped, both the human and the ants would go after the person who put them in the glass box. If they did not escape, both the human and the ants would eventually die of suffocation, assuming no air holes were installed.
|-
|''"What if all of humanity set all of their differences aside and work together to level out the Earth into a perfect sphere?"''
<div align="right">—Erik Andersen</div>
|This would quickly create new differences. Even if some magical force were employed to keep humanity centered on making the earth a perfect sphere, it would take many years and be almost impossible to do. Because the Earth is an oblate spheroid, and not a sphere as-is, a lot of land would need to be displaced in order to create a perfect sphere. There would need to be somewhere to put all the water in the oceans, which would need to be removed, and a way to move large amounts of land very long distances. Many cities would be buried, such as Amsterdam (average elevation -6.6').
|-
|''"People talk a lot about a space elevator or a building that would reach into low orbit to save time and resources getting things into space. This is going to sound incredibly stupid, but why has no one proposed building a road into space? Since orbit is generally considered to be 62 miles out, would it be possible to build a 62-mile-high mountain somewhere in the United States? Colorado would be my suggestion, since it has a low population density and is about a mile above sea level already."''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
|Where are you going to get the materials to build the mountain? Also, Colorado has a lot of people in it. If we ignore the logistical implications, it still won't work. Cars take in air from various orifices to cool, among other things, the engine. No matter whether you have a gas, electric, hybrid or hydrogen car, the lack of air would cause the motors to quickly overheat.
|-
|''"If I shot a rocket and a bullet through Jupiter's center, would they come out the other side?"''
<div align="right">—James Wilson</div>
|No, as the leading theory is that Jupiter has a solid core. Shooting a bullet through the center would simply cause the bullet to collide with the core of the planet.
|-
|''"What if Mount Everest magically turned into pure lava? What would happen to life; would we all die?"''
<div align="right">—Ian</div>
|We would mostly be okay.
|-
|''"Can you fall down into the Mariana Trench, or would you just swim over it?"''
<div align="right">—Rodolfo Estrella</div>
|You can do both of those things. Assuming what he was trying to say was "Can you swim over the Marianas Trench without falling into it?" the answer is that you would just swim directly over it.
|-
|''"I play Dungeons & Dragons, and my DM doesn't want to let us use the Gust of Wind spell to push wind into the sails of a ship and make it move. Her argument is that you can't use this spell to move a ship because someone on a sailboat can't aim a fan at the sail to propel the boat. We argue that since the spell doesn't push you backward when you use it, then we should be able to use it to make the ship sail. She says she'll allow it only if you say so."''
<div align="right">—Georgia Paterson and Allison Adams</div>
|Since the spell doesn't push you backwards, it should work. If the spell pushed you backwards, you would just have to aim the spell backwards.
|-
|''"What if I struck a match on Titan? Would it light if there's no oxygen?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Fitzgibbon</div>
| While the match would light initially due to the small amount of oxidizer in a matchhead (typically {{w|potassium chlorate}}, in a safety match), it would quickly dissipate due to the lack of oxygen to titan's atmosphere.
|-
|''"I posted a question on social media asking what would be the smallest change that would create the biggest disaster. One of the responses I got said "if every atom gained 1 proton." So my question for you is, what would happen if every atom gained 1 proton?"''
<div align="right">—Olivia Caputo</div>
|The Earth would become one big, very explosive science experiment. Stable atoms would become unstable, releasing large amounts of energy all at once. Brain matter would cease to be brain matter, and cells would no longer be cells. This would lead to everything dying at once. At least we wouldn't need to experience it.
|-
|
|'''Suction Aquarium'''
|''"When I was a child, I discovered that if I took a container into the swimming pool, I could fill it with water and then bring the container (open-end down) to the surface of the water, and the water level in my container was higher than the water level in the pool. What would happen if you tried to do this with a giant container and the ocean? Could you create a giant aquarium on top of the water that the animals could swim in and out of freely? Maybe an irregularly shaped container that you would walk around on to get closer to the fish?"''
<div align="right">—Caroline Collett</div>
|It would work, but the water level would slowly lower back to sea level over time. However, this process can be accelerated by whale farts. I am not joking.
|
|{{book|2|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''Earth Eye'''
|''"If the Earth were a massive eye, how far would it see?"''
<div align="right">—Alasdir</div>
|Its 'resolution' would be over 500 million times better than a normal human eye. It would be able to see the color of a shirt worn on Mars. It could also see incredibly far objects, such as some of the most distant galaxies that haven't been {{w|redshift}}ed to the point of being infrared. However, a planet-sized eye would be inconvenient, as it would certainly go blind from the Sun and could be damaged from nearby stars as well.
|
|{{book|2|28}}
|
|-
|
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''
|''"How many people would it take to build Rome in a day?"''
<div align="right">—Lauren</div>
| It would take anywhere between 15 minutes and 150 minutes with the whole Earth working.
|
|{{book|2|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''
|''"If I put an indestructible 20-meter-wide glass tube in the ocean that goes all the way down to the deepest part of the ocean, what would it be like to stand at the bottom? Assuming the sun goes directly overhead."''
<div align="right">—Zoki Čulo</div>
|You would likely see many new and undiscovered species. You would also be incredibly cold as the freezing waters of the deep would cool the glass. Getting up would be another problem entirely. If you didn't use an elevator, you could break the glass. That would create a geyser, accelerating you upwards at lethal G-forces. Once you reach the surface, you would fly high into the air before crashing back down into the ocean. Also, you would be heralded as a hero by a lot of marine biologists.
|
|{{book|2|30}}
|
|-
|
|'''MRI Compass'''
|''"Why don't compasses point toward the nearest hospital because of the magnetic fields created by MRI machines?"''
<div align="right">—D. Hughes</div>
|They actually do, but only within ~10 meters.
|
|{{book|2|32}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''
|''"I noticed recently that the number of people within a family tree increases exponentially with each generation: I have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so on. Which got me thinking—are most people descended from the majority of Homo sapiens who have ever lived? If not, what fraction of all the people that have ever lived am I descended from?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus</div>
|Likely between 2-3 twenty-fourths of all humans who have ever lived.
|
|{{book|2|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bird Car'''
|''"I'm a lowly college student stuck in a car without AC. As such, the windows are down most of the time when I'm driving, and I started thinking: If a bird happens to match my speed and direction perfectly, and I swerve to catch the bird in my car ... what happens next, other than an angry bird? Does the bird stay right where it was? Fly into the windshield? Drop into the seat? My roommate and I disagree. Any help settling this would really make all our lives easier."''
<div align="right">—Hunter W.</div>
| The bird would fall onto the seat at an angle, and then would fly out of the window (hopefully).
|
|{{book|2|34}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen if you put the end of a vacuum hose up to your eye and turned on the vacuum?"''
<div align="right">—Kitty Greer</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|35.5}} (W2)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"Is it possible to hold your arm straight out of a car window and punch a mailbox clean off its pole? Could you do it without breaking your hand?"''
<div align="right">—Ty Gwennap</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If people's teeth kept growing, but when they were fully grown they come off and are swallowed, how long would it take before it causes any problems?"''
<div align="right">—Valen M.</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"In a defensive situation, how much epinephrine (in a EpiPen) would it take to subdue a possible attacker?"''
<div align="right">—Henry M.</div>
|-
|
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''
|''"What if my phone was based on vacuum tubes? How big would it be?"''
<div align="right">—Johnny</div>
| The phone would be about the size of one to five city blocks, and would melt its way through the Earth's crust. Conversely, the UNIVAC constructed with modern electrical components would be smaller than a grain of salt.
|
|{{book|2|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eat a Cloud'''
|''"Could a person eat a whole cloud?"''
<div align="right">—Tak</div>
|Not unless you can squeeze the air out first. If you don't you will burp out more cloud than you ate.
|
|{{book|2|38}}
|
|-
|
|'''Tall Sunsets'''
|''"Let's say that two people of different heights (159 cm and 206 cm) stand beside each other while looking at the sunset. How much longer will the taller person be able to see the sun than the shorter one?"''
<div align="right">—Rasmus Bunde Nielson</div>
|Over a second longer.
|
|{{book|2|39}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''
|''"Suppose everyone with a fridge or a freezer opened them at the same time, outdoors. Would that amount of cooling be able to noticeably change the temperature? If not, how many fridges would it take to lower the temperature, say, 5 degrees F? What about even lower?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Mittica</div>
|Refrigerators don't work like that, and would likely increase global temperatures by 0.3 degrees celsius. The infinite spite of Hades is surprisingly green.
|
|{{book|2|41}}
|
|-
|
|'''Basketball Earth'''
|''"You know how when you spin a basketball on your finger you hit the side to make it go faster and balance it? If a meteor passes close enough to the earth, can it make the Earth spin faster like your hand does the basketball?"''
<div align="right">—Zayne Freshley</div>
|Yes.
|
|{{book|2|43}}
|
|- 
|
|'''Inhale a Person'''
|''"If house dust comprises up to 80 percent dead skin, how many people worth of skin does a person consume/inhale in a lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Greg</div>
|You could inhale at most 3 gallons of human skin in a lifetime, and dust is not mostly dead skin. Instead it is a cursed salad of soil, pollen, cotton fibers, crumbs, powdered sugar, glitter, pet hair and dander, plastic, soot, human or animal hair, flour, glass, smoke, mites, and various miscellaneous gunk.
|
|{{book|2|45}}
|
|-
|
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''
|''"How many Wint-O-Green Life Savers would it take to create a life-size lightning bolt if you crushed them"''
<div align="right">—Violet M.</div>
|Billions
|
|{{book|2|46}}
|
|-
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"|'''Short Answers #4'''
|''"Can humans safely eat rabid creatures?"''
<div align="right">—Winston</div>
|No.
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"{{book|2|46.5}} (S4)
|rowspan="13"|
|-
|''"What if the Earth's core suddenly stopped producing heat?"''
<div align="right">—Laura</div>
|We would be mostly fine. While one may picture a scenario similar to ''The Core'', the difference would only be noticed long after you're gone, so you don't really need to worry about it :)
|-
|''"Could humanity, with our current technology, destroy the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Tyler</div>
|No.
|-
|''"Can global warming cause the Earth's magnetic fields to weaken?"''
<div align="right">—Pavaki</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you used a laser, would you be able to bake something?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Liu</div>
|Yes.
|-
|''"What if Earth was sliced in half, like an apple? Where should you be such that you have the best chance of survival?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|You should be holding the object that's slicing the Earth.
|-
|''"What would happen if a person dropped into a pool full of jellyfish?"''
<div align="right">—Lorenzo Belotti</div>
|It depends on the species.
|-
|''"Would it be possible to make a house floor into a massive air hockey table, so you could move heavy furniture across the room?"''
<div align="right">—Jacob Wood</div>
|Yes, and now I know what my next home improvement project will be.
|-
|''"My 7-year-old son asked us over dinner recently at which point potatoes melt (I assume in a vacuum). Please advise."''
<div align="right">—Steffen</div>
|Potatoes don't really melt at any temperature. Also, do you automatically add 'in a vacuum' to anything your son says?
|-
|''"Would a pigeon be able to make it to space if it was not affected by gravity?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|No. The air in the upper atmosphere is too thin to breathe and too cold
|-
|''"If you were flying blind through the Milky Way what would be the odds of hitting a star or planet?"''
<div align="right">—David</div>
|If you flew edge-on, it would be about 1 in 10 billion.
|-
|''"On various bodies in our Solar System (feel free to group any that are equivalent), roughly how long could you survive on the surface (for gas giants, assume you are on a magical platform at some point in the atmosphere that you could reasonably treat as the surface) with nothing but an infinite air supply and warm winter clothing? That is, no helmet, no pressure suit, just a nose-and-mouth air mask attached to a magic air generator, and clothing that would be suitable for, say, Chicago in winter. (No cute tricks like using the magic air supply to generate heat or whatever.)"''
<div align="right">—Melissa Trible</div>
|
*Earth: 100-ish years
*Venus: Weeks to months
*Everywhere else: Minutes to hours
Venus would be great if it weren't for the sulfuric acid.
|-
|''"What would happen if someone dropped an anvil on you from space?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Stiehl</div>
|About the same as if someone dropped an anvil on you from a building.
|-
|
|'''Toasty Warm'''
|''"What if I want to heat my house using toasters. How many do I need?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Ahlström</div>
|Not many, because the house would quickly catch on fire.
|
|{{book|2|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eyeball'''
|''"If I pulled out my eyeball and aimed it so that it was looking into my other eyeball, what would I see (assuming the nerves and veins remain undamaged)"''
<div align="right">—Lenka</div>
|You would see an eye superimposed with your head and the background of the room overlapping.
|
|{{book|2|49}}
|
|-
|
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''
|''"If ALL of Japan's islands disappear, would it affect Earth's natural phenomena (plates, oceans, hurricanes, climate, and so on)?"''
<div align="right">—Miyu Uchida</div>
|Yes, it most certainly would. The sea of Japan would mix with the Pacific ocean now that the wall that separated them is gone. This would cause unpredictable changes to those currents, affecting many life forms who live in that area. Japan, though being small, weighs quite a lot, and the sudden removal of all that weight would cause massive shifts in ocean levels. Depending on the region, some sea levels would rise/fall by up to a foot, causing mass panic for cities that now have a sudden risk of flooding at a moment's notice. Tsunamis would devastate the Korean Peninsula, Hawaii, and the west coast of America.
|
|{{book|2|50}}
|
|-
|
|'''Read All the Laws'''
|''"If a person wanted to read all of the governing documents that apply to them—from the federal and state constitutions, treaties, agency-issued regulations, federal and state laws, local ordinances, etc.—how many pages would they have to read?"''
<div align="right">—Keith Yearman</div>
|Between 145000 and 12.3 million pages.
|
|{{book|2|52}}
|
|-
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''
|colspan="2"|''"If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Stella Wohnig</div>
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"{{book|2|52.5}} (W3)
|rowspan="3"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen to you if a colony of ants suddenly appeared in you bloodstream all at once?"''
<div align="right">—Matt, on behalf of Declan</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If Harry Potter forgets where the invisible entrance to Platform 9¾ is, how long would he have to crash into walls randomly before discovering it?"''
<div align="right">—Max Planker</div>
|-
|
|'''Snowball'''
|''"What if I tried to roll a snowball from the top of Mount Everest? How big would the snowball be by the time it reached the bottom and how long would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Michaeline Yates</div>
|It would remain about the same size, or it could cause an avalanche. Since the peak of {{w|Mount Everest}} is above the clouds, it is very dry there. For a snowball to grow, wet snow is required. The result would be similar to rolling a hamburger down.
|
|{{book|2|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''
|''"What if you decided to walk from Austin, Texas, to New York City, but every step takes you back thirty days?"''
<div align="right">—Jojo Yawson</div>
| The sky would flicker at 50 Hz, and you would arrive around 300,000 years in the past.
|
|{{book|2|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ammonia Tube'''
|''"What would happen if you fed ammonia into your stomach through a tube? How fast must the flow rate be to burn your stomach from the heat released? What would the newly created chlorine gas do to your stomach?"''
<div align="right">—Becca</div>
|{{w|Ammonia}} is an {{w|EPA list of extremely hazardous substances|extremely hazardous substance}} and pumping it into your abdomen would result in a painful death due to ammonia toxicity. However, at the very least, some of it would be neutralized with your stomach acid.
|
|{{book|2|57}}
|
|-
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"|'''Short Answers #5'''
|''"Could life evolve in a constantly running microwave?"''
<div align="right">—Abby Doth</div>
|No.
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"{{book|2|58.5}} (S5)
|rowspan="7"|
|-
|''"Tonight at my work as an ER nurse in the emergency room, a patient (high on methamphetamine) asked for a cup of water. I returned with a paper cup of water, which the patient promptly threw at my head, missing me but hitting the wall in such an improbable way that the open top of the cup impacted the wall and the cup contained/diminished most of the subsequent splatter. It occurred to me that it might be possible to throw a cup of water hard enough that the container of water would go through the wall. Is this possible?"''
<div align="right">—Pete</div>
|Anything will go through a wall if you throw it hard enough
|-
|''"How slow would you have to chew in order to be able to infinitely consume breadsticks?"''
<div align="right">—Miller Broughton</div>
|You would have to divide each breadstick into 20 bites, chewing each bite 200 times at 1 chew per second.
|-
|''"If you were somehow to remove the white and yolk from inside an eggshell (chicken), and replace them with helium, would the eggshell float in the air?"''
<div align="right">—Elizabeth</div>
|No. An eggshell weighs more than the air it displaces.
|-
|''"What would stars smell like, if it were possible to smell them?"''
<div align="right">—Finn Ellis</div>
|Due to the free hydrogen molecules floating around in there, it would taste incredibly sour. It would also smell like burning rubber, as stars are made up of the same components.
|-
|''"What is the average size for every man-made object on the planet?"''
<div align="right">—Max Carver</div>
|Not too big, not too small. About average.
|-
|''"E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E"''
<div align="right">—Nate Yu</div>
|I feel you, Nate. [Editor's note: Nate's "question" is composed of 960 letters E]
|-
|
|'''Dog Overload'''
|''"Assuming 1 out of every 4 people has a 5-year-old dog, and the dog reproduces once every year, with 5 puppies, and the puppies start reproducing at 5 and stop at 15 and die at 20, how long would it take for the Earth to be flooded with puppies, assuming we have all the food, water, and oxygen to sustain them?"''
<div align="right">—Griffin</div>
|This is unrealistic right from the start. This assumes the total dog population is 2 billion, which is well above current estimates. A timeline of major events and milestones is listed below.
*After one year, there are enough dogs for everyone to have at least one.
*After 5 years, every human has an average of 6 or 7 dogs.
*After 11 years, Disney releases ''101 Dalmations per Capita'', after there are 101 dogs per person
*After 15 years, the first dogs die, but the death is fully insignificant.
*After 20 years, dogs would only be about 1 meter apart on average.
*After 25-30 years, the dogs begin to stack.
*At about 40 years, the exponential growth is "stable". The population is multiplying by about 1.6578 each year.
*After 65 years, the population of dogs reaches 1 mol
*After 110 years, the dogs start to undergo relativistic collapse
*After 150 years, the dogs are bigger than the solar system.
*After 197 years, the expansion of the dog sphere surpasses 1''c''
*After 200 years, the dogs reach sirius.
*After 250 years, the dogs envelop the milky way.
*After 330 years, the dogs reach the edge of the observable universe.
*After 417 years, Disney releases ''10<sup>101</sup> Dalmations.''
|
|{{book|2|60}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sunscreen'''
|''"Assuming that SPF works as it purports, what SPF would you need for a 1-hour trip to the surface of the sun?"''
<div align="right">—Brian and Max Parker</div>
|You would need SPF 3,200,000 or a giant blob of sunscreen. Despite its name, sunscreen only protects against some types of radiation from the Sun. No amount is going to be adequate protection if you are right inside the Sun. Also, sunscreen, being a gel, would evaporate when exposed to vacuum. When exposed to the plasma of the coronal surface or the Sun's interior, it would quickly ionize along with anything inside it, becoming plasma like the rest of the Sun.
|
|{{book|2|62}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking on the Sun'''
|''"After the Sun runs out of fuel, it will become a white dwarf and slowly cool. When will it be cool enough to touch?"''
<div align="right">—Jabari Garland</div>
|The Sun will cool to room temperature in about 20 billion years. However, getting there to actually touch it is the hard part. The immense gravity the changed star still has would create a major problem for any attempt to land on and touch it. Even the most powerful propulsion would not be able to escape the pull of the Sun's gravity, making it nigh impossible for any currently theorised craft to reach the Sun and survive, let alone let you touch it 'safely'.
|
|{{book|2|63}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''
|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right">—Shuo Peskoe-Yang</div>
|Replacing all rain in the world would have devastating conseqeunces, especially with such dry candies as lemon drops and gumdrops. The water cycle would be destroyed, arable land would become unusable, and the ocean the would dry up. Humanity would perish in this wasteland-like scenario, probably hopped up on sugar.
|
|{{book|2|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bonus Chapter'''
|''"...but what if we tried even ''more'' power?"''
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
| This is a continuation of {{what if|13|13: Laser Pointer}}. Adding even more power than the end of that article would heat the air so much that the lasers would stop themselves long before reaching the Moon. Even if we managed to get them to hit the Moon, the plasma created would be so hot that it would stop anyway.
|
|{{book|3|70}}
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}
|-
|}<noinclude>

<span id="Editors"><big><big>'''Editors'''</big></big></span> ㅤ ''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''

These templates are used in this table: {{tl|what if}}, {{tl|What If}}, {{tl|book}}, {{tl|blog}}.

<big>'''Add YouTube video'''</big>

<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''</font>|VIDEO-TITLE}}
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''2022'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''12'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''31'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''</font>}}

<big>'''Add book chapter'''</big>

For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''1'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

For the second [[What If? 2]] book:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''69'''''</font>}}

If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''3'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}
<big>'''Link to a ''what if?'' article'''</big>

On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:

'''EXAMPLE:'''
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''158'''''</ins></font>|<font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins></font>}}<nowiki>''</nowiki>.
'''RESULTS IN:'''
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.

NOTE: Since the blog releases are now random, please write a comment on [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}#Discussion|the newest comic's talk page]] to announce that a new ''what if?'' article is out.

<big>'''Add name of reader who asked the question.'''</big>

Here's how to add the name(s) to any question on the table. For example, this...
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
... becomes this:
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right"></nowiki>'''—'''<font color="SeaGreen">'''''InsertNamesHere'''''</font><nowiki></div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
Copy the code and replace the green part! (NOTE: It uses the em-dash, not a normal hyphen, so don't replace the dash, or use <code>&mdash;</code>.) Transcribe it exactly as it is written on the website or book, including parenthesis and age, if given by Randall. '''Protip for desktop users:''' the text looks ALL CAPS on the site, but if you copy and paste it, it's in normal Sentence Case. You can simply copy and paste.

''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
<span id="bottom"></span>
{| style="border: 1px solid {{{border|gray}}}; background-color: {{{color|#fdffe7}}};"
|rowspan="2" style="vertical-align:middle;" | {{{{{|safesubst:}}}#ifeq:{{{2}}}|alt|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]}}
|rowspan="2" |
|style="font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;" | '''The What If? Project Barnstar'''
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* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Added: '''</big></span> All ~140 book-exclusive articles, each color-coded by book; reader question and Randall's answer for almost all ~70 [[What If? 2]]-exclusive articles; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Changes: '''</big></span> Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted!

----

Great Job to everyone who helped out on this project! If you helped out explain the articles or build the table, feel free to sign here: '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:5pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:2pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 17:44, 14 February 2025 (UTC), [[User:WriterArtistCoder|WriterArtistCoder]]<sup>[[User talk:WriterArtistCoder|talk to me]]</sup> 21:56, 11 March 2025 (UTC), [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:53, 12 March 2025 (UTC) --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al |<span style="font-family:Atomic Age;font-size:5pt;color:red;">DollarStoreBa'al</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:DollarStoreBa'al |'''''Converse''''']]</sup>[[DSBContribs |'''''My life choices''''']] 23:30, 14 June 2025 (UTC) [[User:1234231587678|1234231587678]] ([[User talk:1234231587678|talk]]) 20:48, 26 May 2026 (UTC)

[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}

779: Anxiety

2026-05-26T00:53:16Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 779
| date = August 13, 2010
| title = Anxiety
| image = anxiety.png
| titletext = Don't need any, thanks. I have a backscattering fetish.
}}

==Explanation==
Some people are upset about airport security policies that mandate the use of {{w|backscatter X-ray}} machines, since the machines can create an image of the subject naked. In protest, the travellers in the lineup (or at least the male ones) are taking {{w|Sildenafil|Viagra}}, sold to them by [[Black Hat]]; there is a heteronormative expectation that the male security guard will be disgusted at being forced to look at erect penises. (An expectation which is supported by the guard's thought bubble of "Oh God", which could either be in response to seeing what Black Hat is doing or in response to an unseen person, presumably sporting such an erection, already in the scanner.) Alternatively, the guard may just be worried by the fact that Black Hat is selling unidentified pills which might contain harmful ingredients.

Given Black Hat's personality, it is unlikely he himself is doing this in protest; rather he is monetizing the opportunity, a supposition reinforced by the inflated price ($20 for a single dose) at which he is selling the medication{{cn}}.

An alternate interpretation is that many men feel self-conscious (or anxious, as the title puts it) about their size when flaccid{{citation needed}}, and thus might wish to "put their best foot forward" and look their best.

Realistically, given the size of the line, there would be insufficient time between consuming the pills and entering the scanner for them to take effect.

In the title text, one of the people in the line explains he has a {{w|sexual fetish|fetish}} with being X-ray scanned, and thus doesn't need Viagra to achieve the above effect.

==Transcript==
:[There is an airport security checkpoint where a queue of ten passengers is waiting to go through a backscatter X-ray scanner. Near the back of the line, Black Hat is standing next to a stand and a sign which says "Viagra $20". One passenger next to him is drinking a glass of water; another is contemplating the sign.]
:Security Guard (thinking): Oh God.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Aviation]]

737: Yogurt

2026-05-25T15:48:03Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 737
| date = May 7, 2010
| title = Yogurt
| image = yogurt.png
| titletext = I am firmly of the opinion that if something doesn't have a year on it, every time the expiration date rolls around it is good again for the two weeks preceding that date.
}}

==Explanation==
Most packaged food has an {{w|shelf life|expiration date}} that indicates when the food will probably no longer be suitable for consumption. This could be due to any number of reasons; most products will rot or grow mold after their expiration date passes, but some processed foods will "dry out" or just generally become "unpleasant" long before they spoil. The expiration date is sometimes called a "best before" or "use by" date for this reason.

Some products don't list the year as part of the expiration date, on the assumption that by the time the year becomes an issue, the food will be spoiled. [[Cueball]] and his guest are encountering this issue; clearly, the yogurt has gone bad - it's raising "stink lines" and appears to have visible mold - but the expiration date only lists "May 12th" and it's currently May 7th, so Cueball reasons that it must still be good since the expiration date hasn't passed yet. Somehow, he fails to notice the terrible smell coming off of it.

The {{w|Gregorian calendar}} was initially adopted in the Catholic European countries in 1582 to correct the slow drift of the seasons relative to the calendar year that occurred under the Julian calendar. The Protestant and Orthodox countries were slower to adopt it. The British Empire, including the American colonies, adopted the Gregorian calendar in 1752. Cueball (in a seemingly sarcastic manner) wonders whether the expiration date might have been printed under the Julian Calendar, i.e., at least just under a century prior (some nations in Eastern Europe changed from the Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar only around the time of the First World War).

The {{w|Gregorian calendar}} (our current calendar) is mostly the same as the {{w|Julian calendar}} with two major differences:

*The Julian calendar overestimated the length of a year by 10 minutes 48 seconds or about 1 day every 128 years. The Gregorian calendar has 97 leap days every 400 years instead of 100, which reduces the error to about 1 day in 3300 years.
*As each country adopted the Gregorian calendar, it was necessary to skip the appropriate number of days to realign the {{w|Vernal Equinox}} with March 21. When the British Empire adopted the Gregorian calendar in 1752, 11 days had to be skipped, so in the English-speaking countries, September 2, 1752, under the Julian calendar was immediately followed by September 14, 1752, under the Gregorian calendar; there was no September 3–13 in that year.

The last line spoken by Cueball may mean one of two things: either 1) he is continuing to be sarcastic toward his friend, or 2) he is genuinely considering that it may not have gone bad, despite all the clues saying otherwise.

The title text is Randall's own (absurd){{Citation needed}} view: for a short period preceding the expiration date of any food, no matter how many years have passed, it suddenly becomes good to eat again. One might also wonder if the last two digits of the year were given in addition to just the day and month, and if Randall were given centuries to live, he might apply this principle centennially instead of annually.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding a yogurt cup with spots on it at arm's length. Waves of stink are rising from it.]
:Cueball: Oh God, how old is this yogurt in your fridge?
:[Someone speaks from off-panel.]
:Friend: What's the expiration date?

:[Cueball holds up the cup to look at the bottom.]
:Cueball: May 12th, but there's no year.
:[From off-panel again.]
:Friend: It's May 7th. So it's fine.

:[Now the second person is on panel, and Cueball speaks from off-panel. The second person is sitting down working on a laptop.]
:Cueball: I'm not sure. When it was packaged, was civilization using the Gregorian or Julian calendar?
:Friend: ''Okay,'' I'll throw it out.
:Cueball: No, it might still be good!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Calendar]]
[[Category:Food]]

660: Sympathy

2026-05-25T15:46:06Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 660
| date = November 9, 2009
| title = Sympathy
| image = sympathy.png
| titletext = Excellent recovery:... which we could try to use to somehow save your original brother!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic plays at the lack of social skills physicists and other people in heavily scientific disciplines are stereotypically believed to have. The example displayed is a case of condolence, in which the appropriate behaviour would of course be to express compassion with the bereaved, as shown in the second panel.

In the third panel, the physicist fails to display the endorsed demeanour. Instead, he takes a scientific approach towards the statement of his friend. He points out that the transmission of the information that the latter's brother died, which triggered the pain that the latter believes to have felt, is in fact limited by the {{w|speed of light}} and could therefore not have been 'instant'. By saying so, he betrays an absence of feeling towards his friend, as well as his inability to understand the figurative sense of the words.

In the last panel, the physicist takes the previous to a bizarre extreme and reflects on the consequences that would follow if the statement of his friend were indeed literally true. According to {{w|special relativity}}, any object travelling faster than at the speed of light would in fact move backwards in time. The physicist therefore plans to utilize this effect in order to construct a {{w|tachyonic antitelephone}}, a device that allows sending information to the past. To confirm the initial condition, he makes the utterly inappropriate proposal to start a series of measurements by killing other family members of his friend. Of course, virtually no one would agree to this.

A correction of the misdemeanour is suggested in the title text: The antitelephone might be used to change causality and save the original brother from dying in the first place. Of course, saying the latter would not be of much help in the given scenario, although it does serve a noticeable improvement over the last two panels.

Note how he says 'original brother', noting that although he would have saved his brother, another family member would have to have been killed to do so.

The use of the "right, wrong, very wrong" template is also presented in [[803: Airfoil]].

==Transcript==
:Sympathy Tips for Physicists
:[Cueball and friend are talking.]
:Friend: The moment my brother died, I felt a searing pain in my heart.

:Right:
:[Cueball places his hand on the friend's shoulder.]
:Cueball: I'm so sorry.

:Wrong:
:Cueball: Was it instant, or was there a speed-of-light delay?

:Very Wrong:
:[Cueball thoughtfully puts his hand on his chin.]
:Cueball: If it was instant, with the right arrangement of moving reference frames, we could use this to send signals back in time and violate causality! How many remaining siblings do you have?

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]

2387: Blair Witch

2026-05-25T14:29:26Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 2387
| date = November 18, 2020
| title = Blair Witch
| image = blair_witch.png
| titletext = "Are you concerned the witches won't breed in captivity?" "Honestly, we're more concerned that they WILL. We don't know what it involves, but our biologists theorize that it's 'harrowing.'"
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|The Blair Witch Project}}'' is a {{w|found footage (film technique)|found footage}} horror film released in 1999. For the marketing campaign of the film, the producers created the legend of the Blair Witch, a supernatural being whose legend originates in {{w|Burkittsville|Burkittsville, Maryland}}. As it sometimes happened in Protestant societies in the {{w|colonial era}}, a woman was ostracized from the community after having been accused of {{w|witchcraft}}. This woman, who tends to conflict in name with various versions of the lore, would supposedly attempt to inflict revenge upon the community that exiled her, and these fearful people fled from the town.

The comic takes a humorous turn on the legend, suggesting a conservation program to save the Blair Witch. While the film was described by reliable sources as faked and misrepresented footage, the Blair Witch is postulated as separate species that is being tracked by the {{w|IUCN Red List}}. With the rise of camera-phones in the modern age, sightings of {{w|List of cryptids|beings that are most likely fictitious}}, such as Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, are becoming rarer over time, due to [[1235: Settled|lack of credibility of a reported sighting without visual evidence]] (although with the rise of deepfakes, even visual evidence might lose credibility in the future). A species which has not been notably documented for a long time would indeed be moved to the "possibly {{w|extinct in the wild}}" category, as [[Megan]] notes.

Rather than taking this to mean the Blair Witch does not exist however, Megan instead suggests {{w|habitat loss}} as the reason why encountering a Blair Witch might be more difficult. Habitat loss is in fact one of the most prominent and concerning reasons for extinction in recent years. Megan claims that suburban projects have fragmented the witch's "spooky forest" ecosystem, a reference to the many species that are dying off due to encroachment, logging, and similar human activities. Migration due to {{w|climate change}} is also an observable phenomenon in animal populations (and some plant populations, depending on their mode of travel while in seeds; those that rely on animals to germinate will migrate as well).

Megan then proposes a plan to catch and breed Blair Witches in an attempt to resurrect the species. This final panel is more obviously humorous, as even if the Blair Witch ''did'' exist separate from humans, there is only one, and thus any attempt to breed and repopulate would be futile. It may be possible that {{w|Parthenogenesis|this is not a problem}}, but if it is, it could also raise the objection that any pair of Blair Witch may both be female, and thus unable to reproduce. This could be resolved by (a) assuming that Witches can ({{w|Sequential hermaphroditism|sometimes?}}) be male as well, (b) assuming that half of Blair Witches are transgender, or (c) assuming that, much like Tremblay's salamander, females can reproduce with a male of a related species (most likely human, in which case the project might have difficulty obtaining approval from an {{w|Institutional review board|ethics review board}}.) The phrase "Blair Witch Reintroduction Project" is a reference to ''The Blair Witch Project''.

The title-text suggests that the comic is a lecture, as Megan's whiteboard and pointer would suggest. A (presumed) student asks whether Megan is concerned that witches won't breed in captivity (a serious real-world concern to the IUCN). If this is a press conference, the question would be asked by a reporter instead. Megan replies that they are worried that there ''will'' be breeding, but biologists are unsure how the breeding occurs, calling it "harrowing" (presumably because they have captured the Blair Witch and it has set a curse on their laboratory as she supposedly did in Burkittsville). Historically, communities practicing witchcraft may have fled to the woods to engage in sometimes very sexual behaviors that others at the time were very frightened by.

Randall previously wrote about an ill-advised fauna introduction project in [[2349: Rabbit Introduction]], but at least rabbits are cuter and less harrowing than witches.{{Citation needed}} <sup>[''{{w|Rabbit of Caerbannog|disputed}}'']</sup>

==Transcript==
:[Megan is standing in front of a screen looking away from it at an audience off-panel. She is holding a stick, pointed at the chart behind her. The chart shows the stick figure from ''The Blair Witch Project''. Above is an unreadable line of text, and below are two smaller rectangles a smaller one above the other, the small seems to be empty, but there seems to be some kind of graph in the bottom one.]
:Megan: Other than the fake 1999 video, there have been no Blair Witch sightings in 30+ years.
:Megan: The IUCN redlist says the witch is "possibly extinct in the wild."

:[A close-up of Megan's face. The screen now shows a habitat map, with four separate shaded areas enclosed in a dotted line. The dotted line and one of the areas goes to the upper edge of the screen indicating they continue beyond the shown area. Beneath the dotted line and to the right there are three small squares, one of them clearly shaded the same way as the areas above. Next to each there is an unreadable label.]
:Megan: Development in the Maryland suburbs has fragmented the spooky forest habitat.
:Megan: Climate change will push any remnant populations north.

:[Back to the original setting, Megan is standing with the stick pointing downwards, and the chart is out of frame.]
:Megan: That's why we plan to capture any surviving witches and establish a breeding population.
:Megan: Then, in time, the Blair Witch Reintroduction Project can begin.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Movies]]
[[Category:Biology]]

2203: Prescience

2026-05-25T14:08:51Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 2203
| date = September 16, 2019
| title = Prescience
| image = prescience.png
| titletext = Lots of people called their ships unsinkable before the Titanic. Voicing your hubris doesn't make failure more likely, just more memorable.
}}

==Explanation==

In this comic, [[Cueball]] states that it's been a long time since there's been a really big {{w|Impact event|meteor impact}}. Due to the {{w|gambler's fallacy}}, this is taken to be Cueball implying that a big meteor impact is coming soon. The off-panel voice is annoyed about his statement, but whether from fear of it happening or because he does this all the time is unclear, see more below. The joke is that Cueball does this often, also with other types of major random events, just in case they do actually happen soon. For instance, if there does happen to be an impact soon after he made the statement, it makes him look incredibly {{w|prescient}}, whereas if there isn't one, no one really cares or remembers.

It is also unclear how big an impact he refers to. It has been 60 million years since the {{w|Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event|impact that killed the dinosaurs}}, but that if that is the type of event he refers to, then maybe no one will be there to remember what he said. So, it is likely much smaller impacts he is talking about. ''Prescience'' means to predict the future. It is clear from this comic that [[Randall]] makes fun of both of those that claim to have prescience and of those that have a superstition against talking about something happening that could cause it to happen. Although only one method is scientifically recognized, there are at least three possible sources of prescience recognized by people.

The first of the two main ways of predicting the future involves a mix of common sense and historical knowledge. By understanding the past, the direction of the future can be guessed at with varying levels of accuracy. This type of prescience is also known sometimes as future modelling, statistical prediction, psychohistory, and even wisdom to name a few. The second way to predict the future is not scientifically recognized but remains popular in culture and fiction. It can involve magic, psychic power, higher powers (gods), and other such methods. Collectively, they are labelled supernatural; any method to predict the future using this class of method cannot be easily measured by science.

Although not technically a way to predict the future, the third way to predict the future is through superstition. The method involved in this comic effectively boils down to "speak the name of evil, and you will summon it." This superstition can have surprising power in people's lives, however. A woman planning her outdoor wedding may feel the urge to hit her friend if they say "Gosh, I hope it doesn't rain on that day." A doctor working in the Emergency Room may feel the need to kick anyone who says "Wow, it's really quiet around here." Such thoughts spoken aloud do not have the power to control the weather or cause people to seriously injure themselves{{cn}}. Yet people often react emotionally as if not speaking the name of 'evil' will keep it away.

This comic may reflect that emotional reaction when the off-screen character yells at Cueball: "Will you stop that?!". Alternatively, it is one, like [[Megan]], who knows Cueball well enough to know that which is stated in the caption, that he only does this to look good if said thing happens. And the person is so tired of it! Maybe Cueball does it at least once a week, and obviously from the caption, it is not only about meteor impact, but any major random event, that he could then be remembered as having predicted. The title has a double meaning. The first meaning is about the prescience that would appear if one actually predicts a natural disaster this way. The second meaning involves the fact that it is spelled pre-science - since there are many more scientific ways to predict meteor impacts, even though they aren't entirely accurate. This comic has a clear resemblance to the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]] series. This would also make it clear the Cueball in this comic is actually [[Randall]]. The entire setup and punch line of this comic is very similar to this old comic: [[525: I Know You're Listening]], and [[628: Psychic]] and [[858: Milk]] also use the idea of guessing something that will make you look special.

The title text refers to the {{w|RMS Titanic|RMS ''Titanic''}}, a ship which was claimed to be unsinkable by those promoting its maiden voyage. The use of multiple water-tight compartments allowed the ship to suffer a moderate amount of damage without sinking. Unfortunately, there existed a way for the ship to suffer damage in a way which caused more compartments to be filled with water than it could survive; and, therefore, it could — and eventually ''did'' — sink. But with all the news stories that had just been published hailing this unsinkable ship as a modern wonder of the world, this shipwreck was particularly ironic. The story of the sinking of the ''Titanic'' has been memorialized in popular culture, most memorably in the 1997 film {{w|Titanic (1997 film)|Titanic}}.

In the title text, Randall thus suggests that lots of ships had been called unsinkable before Titanic. But saying such {{w|hubris}} aloud doesn't make any ship more likely to sink. But when such a ship, like Titanic, then sinks it does, however, increase the value of the story ensuring it will be remembered. It should be noted that few among the ship's builders or crew boasted the ''Titanic'' to be unsinkable. Most of the boasting came from the owners that used the news media of the day to create hype and promote their ship, just when the ship was finished and dedicated (the ship's builders did, however, boast that the ship exceeded all safety standards of the time). In addition, the hubris was only one small part of the fame of the sinking of the ''Titanic''; the ''Titanic''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s status as a world record setter for most massive ship ever built, the incredible wealth of most of its passengers, and the fact it sank on its maiden voyage all contributed to the fame and hype behind the great maritime tragedy.

Ironically, part of what caused this disaster was hubris, since those that were interested in promoting the ship also wished it to make a speed record, by reaching New York a day before expected. Thus, the captain, even though he would have realised that the ship could sink, took the fateful decisions of running at full speed through waters known to contain icebergs during a still night with very calm waters. Spotting icebergs in such conditions is known to be difficult, especially as there will be no notably foaming waves around the icebergs' bases and patchy mists will inconveniently diffuse the horizons and any useful starlight.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting in an armchair holding a book. He seems to be looking off as he talks to an off-panel person behind him. This person replies.]
:Cueball: You know, it's been a while since there's been a really big meteor impact.
:Off-panel voice: '''''Will you stop that?!'''''

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I say this kind of thing every so often, because I don't believe it affects the outcome and it has a slim chance of looking ''incredibly'' prescient.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

2203: Prescience

2026-05-25T14:05:29Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 2203
| date = September 16, 2019
| title = Prescience
| image = prescience.png
| titletext = Lots of people called their ships unsinkable before the Titanic. Voicing your hubris doesn't make failure more likely, just more memorable.
}}

==Explanation==

In this comic, [[Cueball]] states that it's been a long time since there's been a really big {{w|Impact event|meteor impact}}. Due to the {{w|Gambler's Fallacy}}, this is taken to be Cueball implying that a big meteor impact is coming soon. The off-panel voice is annoyed about his statement, but whether from fear of it happening or because he does this all the time is unclear, see more below. The joke is that Cueball does this often, also with other types of major random events, just in case they do actually happen soon. For instance, if there does happen to be an impact soon after he made the statement, it makes him look incredibly {{w|prescient}}, whereas if there isn't one, no one really cares or remembers.

It is also unclear how big an impact he refers to. It has been 60 million years since the {{w|Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event|impact that killed the dinosaurs}}, but that if that is the type of event he refers to, then maybe no one will be there to remember what he said. So, it is likely much smaller impacts he is talking about. ''Prescience'' means to predict the future. It is clear from this comic that [[Randall]] makes fun of both of those that claim to have prescience and of those that have a superstition against talking about something happening that could cause it to happen. Although only one method is scientifically recognized, there are at least three possible sources of prescience recognized by people.

The first of the two main ways of predicting the future involves a mix of common sense and historical knowledge. By understanding the past, the direction of the future can be guessed at with varying levels of accuracy. This type of prescience is also known sometimes as future modelling, statistical prediction, psychohistory, and even wisdom to name a few. The second way to predict the future is not scientifically recognized but remains popular in culture and fiction. It can involve magic, psychic power, higher powers (gods), and other such methods. Collectively, they are labelled supernatural; any method to predict the future using this class of method cannot be easily measured by science.

Although not technically a way to predict the future, the third way to predict the future is through superstition. The method involved in this comic effectively boils down to "speak the name of evil, and you will summon it." This superstition can have surprising power in people's lives, however. A woman planning her outdoor wedding may feel the urge to hit her friend if they say "Gosh, I hope it doesn't rain on that day." A doctor working in the Emergency Room may feel the need to kick anyone who says "Wow, it's really quiet around here." Such thoughts spoken aloud do not have the power to control the weather or cause people to seriously injure themselves{{cn}}. Yet people often react emotionally as if not speaking the name of 'evil' will keep it away.

This comic may reflect that emotional reaction when the off-screen character yells at Cueball: "Will you stop that?!". Alternatively, it is one, like [[Megan]], who knows Cueball well enough to know that which is stated in the caption, that he only does this to look good if said thing happens. And the person is so tired of it! Maybe Cueball does it at least once a week, and obviously from the caption, it is not only about meteor impact, but any major random event, that he could then be remembered as having predicted. The title has a double meaning. The first meaning is about the prescience that would appear if one actually predicts a natural disaster this way. The second meaning involves the fact that it is spelled pre-science - since there are many more scientific ways to predict meteor impacts, even though they aren't entirely accurate. This comic has a clear resemblance to the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]] series. This would also make it clear the Cueball in this comic is actually [[Randall]]. The entire setup and punch line of this comic is very similar to this old comic: [[525: I Know You're Listening]], and [[628: Psychic]] and [[858: Milk]] also use the idea of guessing something that will make you look special.

The title text refers to the {{w|RMS Titanic|RMS ''Titanic''}}, a ship which was claimed to be unsinkable by those promoting its maiden voyage. The use of multiple water-tight compartments allowed the ship to suffer a moderate amount of damage without sinking. Unfortunately, there existed a way for the ship to suffer damage in a way which caused more compartments to be filled with water than it could survive; and, therefore, it could — and eventually ''did'' — sink. But with all the news stories that had just been published hailing this unsinkable ship as a modern wonder of the world, this shipwreck was particularly ironic. The story of the sinking of the ''Titanic'' has been memorialized in popular culture, most memorably in the 1997 film {{w|Titanic (1997 film)|Titanic}}.

In the title text, Randall thus suggests that lots of ships had been called unsinkable before Titanic. But saying such {{w|hubris}} aloud doesn't make any ship more likely to sink. But when such a ship, like Titanic, then sinks it does, however, increase the value of the story ensuring it will be remembered. It should be noted that few among the ship's builders or crew boasted the ''Titanic'' to be unsinkable. Most of the boasting came from the owners that used the news media of the day to create hype and promote their ship, just when the ship was finished and dedicated (the ship's builders did, however, boast that the ship exceeded all safety standards of the time). In addition, the hubris was only one small part of the fame of the sinking of the ''Titanic''; the ''Titanic''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s status as a world record setter for most massive ship ever built, the incredible wealth of most of its passengers, and the fact it sank on its maiden voyage all contributed to the fame and hype behind the great maritime tragedy.

Ironically, part of what caused this disaster was hubris, since those that were interested in promoting the ship also wished it to make a speed record, by reaching New York a day before expected. Thus, the captain, even though he would have realised that the ship could sink, took the fateful decisions of running at full speed through waters known to contain icebergs during a still night with very calm waters. Spotting icebergs in such conditions is known to be difficult, especially as there will be no notably foaming waves around the icebergs' bases and patchy mists will inconveniently diffuse the horizons and any useful starlight.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting in an armchair holding a book. He seems to be looking off as he talks to an off-panel person behind him. This person replies.]
:Cueball: You know, it's been a while since there's been a really big meteor impact.
:Off-panel voice: '''''Will you stop that?!'''''

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I say this kind of thing every so often, because I don't believe it affects the outcome and it has a slim chance of looking ''incredibly'' prescient.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-05-25T14:01:40Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that extremely rarely interacts with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a “neutrino project” and then embezzled these funds for a pool party, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. They supposedly only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what, exactly, they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Probably given they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked the money was to find out how to build the detector - Though artistically enough if that was what the money was for, then given they managed to figure out how to build a neutrino detector, they did still somehow achieve their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is “huge”, which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1m high platform. Therefore, a regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. However, since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314m², the pool would need to be approximately 159m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{Citation needed}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The problem that the pool is too small is not a problem in the context of the cartoon. The final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. which could fulfill the shielding requirement but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people - Particulary as there are many more discreet ways of wasting fund money than a massive pool party, so if they were concerned about being found they could have just been more subtle.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; a Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-05-25T13:58:46Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that extremely rarely interacts with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a “neutrino project” and then embezzled these funds for a pool party, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. They supposedly only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what, exactly, they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Probably given they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked the money was to find out how to build the detector - Though artistically enough if that was what the money was for, then given they managed to figure out how to build a neutrino detector, they did still somehow achieve their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is “huge”, which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass.{{Citation needed}} The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1m high platform. Therefore, a regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. However, since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314m², the pool would need to be approximately 159m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{Citation needed}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The problem that the pool is too small is not a problem in the context of the cartoon. The final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. which could fulfill the shielding requirement but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people - Particulary as there are many more discreet ways of wasting fund money than a massive pool party, so if they were concerned about being found they could have just been more subtle.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; a Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1427: iOS Keyboard

2026-05-15T19:28:45Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1427
| date = September 29, 2014
| title = iOS Keyboard
| image = ios_keyboard.png
| titletext = More actual results: 'Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You [are the best. The best thing ever]', 'Revenge is a dish best served [by a group of people in my room]', and 'They may take our lives, but they'll never take our [money].'
}}

==Explanation==
It looks like [[Randall]] has been playing with his Apple device after installing the recently released {{w|iOS 8}} update. The comic is referencing the autocomplete function on the iOS virtual keyboard. A comparable feature is also available on other operating systems, like Android. When the phrase, for example, "Revenge is a dish best served" is typed, the keyboard will suggest “by” followed by “a” then “group” and so on.

The top of the comic, where the keyboard is shown, is a reference to the character Sherlock Holmes, a detective who is often attributed the famous line "Elementary, my dear Watson" (despite having never said that in the canon). In Randall's typing history, the word "dear" is most often followed by "lord", "friend", or "friends," and thus the phone suggests those words as a likely continuation of the line.

The title text continues, by showing more actual results from keyboard predictions from other movie quotes.

The following movies are referenced in the comic and title text:

{|class="wikitable"
!Movie
!Character & Situation
!Full Quote
!iOS Keyboard Version
|-

|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086250/quotes Scarface (1983)]
|Scarface is holding an M16, defending his house from Sosa's gunmen, shouting to attackers.
|"You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!"
|Say hello to my little ''sister and my mom and my dad and my friends''
|-
|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032138/quotes The Wizard of Oz (1939)]
|Dorothy with her dog, Toto, in Munchkin land.
|"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."
|Toto, I've a feeling we're not ''going to the gym today''
|-
|[http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0000007/quotes James Bond]
|Bond introducing himself, while holding trademark martini.
|"Bond, James Bond." (nothing follows).
|Bond, James Bond ''yields''
|-
|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379786/quotes Serenity (2005)]
|Wash, at the controls of Serenity.
|"I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar."
|I am a leaf on the wind - watch ''me play the piano''
|-
|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089218/quotes The Goonies (1985)]
|Mikey standing at the pool in the wishing well, encouraging his troop of misfits to continue on their journey.
|"Goonies never say die!"
|Goonies never say ''anything''
|-
|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120737/quotes The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)]
|Aragorn, Legolas & Gimli pledge allegiance to protect the ring bearer on their mission to destroy the ring.
|Aragorn: "If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword." Legolas: "And you have my bow." Gimli: "And *my* axe."
|Aragorn: "You have my sword." Legolas: "And my bow." Gimli: "And my ''dad''"
|-
|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093779/quotes The Princess Bride (1987)]
|Inigo Montoya facing the six fingered man, the man he swore a vendetta against for killing his father.
|"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
|Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You ''are the best. The best thing ever''.
|-
|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084726/ Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (1982)]
|Khan paraphrasing Shakespeare to justify his vengeance.
|{{w|Revenge#Proverbs|"Revenge is a dish best served cold"}} (e.g. [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084726/quotes Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (1982)]: Khan: "...do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold?") The quote is not originally from Star Trek but was used already in 1967 in {{w|Death Rides a Horse}} but it is likely that it is the Star Trek reference that is best known to Randall as it is also referenced as a Klingon proverb in {{w|Kill Bill: Volume 1}}.
|Revenge is a dish best served ''by a group of people in my room''.
|-
|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112573/quotes Braveheart (1995)]
|Wallace rallying his Scottish army before a seemingly hopeless battle against the English.
|"They may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"
|They may take our lives, but they'll never take our ''money''
|}

An older comic [[1068: Swiftkey]] is also about keyboard predictions, but without any preceding text (by the Swiftkey keyboard application instead of the iOS 8 keyboard).

It is similar to [[2169: Predictive Models]].

==Transcript==
:'''Movie quotes'''
:[Top picture shows a line typed on an iPhone.]
:Elementary, my dear
:[Then the next line shows the words suggested by the virtual keyboard.]
:Friend | Lord | Friends
:[Below are the visible part of keyboard. In the second line only the top of the letters can be seen.]
:QWERTYUIOP
:ASDFGHJKL
:[Below is a new sub heading above six pictures arranged in two rows.]
:According to iOS 8 keyboard predictions
:[For each of the six pictures a part of the text is black, and the other part is light grey. Below the black text is written in bold letters.]
:[Picture 1: Cueball stands with a machine gun.]
:Cueball: '''Say hello to my little''' sister and my mom and my dad and my friends
:[Picture 2: A girl stands next to her dog with a basket.]
:Girl: '''Toto, I've a feeling we're not''' going to the gym today
:[Picture 3: Bond talks to Megan.]
:James Bond: '''Bond, James Bond''' yields
:[Picture 4: A pilot operates his plane and talks to Cueball behind him.]
:Pilot: '''I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch''' me play the piano
:[Picture 5: A guy with dark hair stands behind a jagged edge.]
:Goonie: '''Goonies never say''' anything
:[Picture 6: A dwarf with long beard and helmet stands with an axe.]
:Off panel left: '''You have my sword.'''
:Off panel right: '''And my bow.'''
:Dwarf: '''And my''' dad

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:iOS]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]

3242: Aperiodic Table

2026-05-07T17:25:17Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3242
| date = May 6, 2026
| title = Aperiodic Table
| image = aperiodic_table_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x464px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Scientists occasionally invent alternative periodic table layouts, which is usually a sign that they don't have enough enrichment in their enclosures.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created APERIODICALLY. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
The {{w|periodic table of the elements}} is a diagram often used to show the properties of the {{w|chemical elements}} that make up the world. Its structure represents several properties of the elements. Atoms increase in {{w|atomic number}} from left to right and continue on each new row, going top to bottom. Elements in a single column will have similar chemical properties, with allowance for any crossing of the {{w|dividing line between metals and nonmetals}}, and each row exhibits a similar trend to adjacent rows for the gaining or losing electrons and other physical properties.

[[Randall]] spoofs this concept by creating a similar view that is much less useful. The original table is "periodic" because it has consistent, repeating patterns that are represented by the horizontal position of the elements. Randall's 'table' is "aperiodic", meaning it has no consistent, repeating patterns. Instead, it is just a meandering line ordered by atomic number. To fit into a compact space, the sequence snakes back and forth and (roughly) down the page. This presentation is not actually helpful{{cn}}, since it contains little information other than the atomic number of each element. Faint colouring on each box does show its category, but due to the dull colours that is also quite inconvenient to use, and depicts this information in an unnecessarily unhelpful and hard-to-read format.

The title text suggests that the creation of {{w|Types of periodic tables|alternative periodic table layouts}} is due to them not having enough work to do. However, it frames this by comparing them to animals kept in enclosures, with a lack of enrichment activities to keep them occupied and satisfied in their lab, implying that this is a form of aberrant dysfunctional behaviour. Researcher enclosure enrichment was previously mentioned in [[3052: Archive Request]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon. All 118 elements and their number should be included in a full transcript.}}

:The Aperiodic Table of the Elements
:[Rectangles showing the atomic symbols and atomic numbers from H (1) through Og (118) are arranged in a serpentine chain. Each rectangle has the atomic number in small numerals at the upper left and the atomic symbol in large letters. The color of each rectangle matches the the pattern of a standard periodic table. For example, the noble elements all have a red background.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Periodic table]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]

3237: Husband and Wife

2026-04-27T21:37:52Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3237
| date = April 24, 2026
| title = Husband and Wife
| image = husband_and_wife_2x.png
| imagesize = 586x292px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Borat came out twenty years ago this year--closer to the breakup of the Soviet Union than to today--but it honestly feels like it's been even longer, somehow.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by MAH BAAT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

[[Megan]] and [[Cueball]], who are married in this strip, are discussing the phrases that married couples use to refer to each other. Traditionally, in English, married couples refer to their partners as "my husband" and "my wife", though many euphemistic or 'cutesy' alternatives have gained currency. Megan finds the phrase "my husband" odd and perhaps a little archaic, comparing it to a "Victorian gossip" (a subject that was previously referenced in [[2660: Gen Z]]).

The specifics of Megan's objection aren't clear, and there are a number of possible angles. It could be due to the possessive phrasing (though similar phrasing is very common in English, and generally doesn't imply ownership). Possibly, the old and and gendered roots of the word itself feel odd to her, as the 17th-century roots meant of "master of the house" or "husbandman" (farmer). American norms around relationships, gender and marriage have changed significantly over the last several decades, and phrases associated with traditional and rigid concepts of relationships and gender roles might naturally feel outdated to the younger generations.

Cueball, on the other hand, isn't bothered as much by this implication as by the association with 2006 film ''{{w|Borat}}''. Borat, a fictional character from {{w|Kazakhstan}}, had a distinct, cringy way of saying [https://youtu.be/Zw16aew4Pt0 "my wife"], which has been frequently referenced, quoted, replayed and incorporated into memes ever since the film came out. Even though the film was released 20 years prior to this strip, Cueball can't get the reference out of his head when he uses the phrase. (For those readers of advanced age, there is another possible reference. “My wife; I think I’ll keep her” was used as a commercial for a tonic to keep women looking young and/or feeling energetic. This was certainly not the author’s intent, but it certainly fits with the comic, if not the title text.)

The title text points out that the 20 years from the movie's release to the publication of this comic is longer than the 15 years from the {{w|dissolution of the Soviet Union}} to the movie (Kazakhstan was briefly the last-remaining member of the USSR). In contrast to [[Randall]]'s usual [[:Category:Comics to make one feel old|attempts to make people feel old]], the title text claims that ''Borat'' actually seems '''older''' than it really is. The implication is that the memes have become so ubiquitous that they feel like they've been part of American culture for a very long time.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Cueball are talking, standing next to each other.]
:Megan: I still feel a little weird saying the phrase "my husband".
:Megan: It makes me feel so traditional, like a Victorian gossip.

:[Megan and Cueball still standing next to each other.]
:Cueball: Yeah, well, '''''my''''' plight isn’t much better.
:Megan: What do you mean?
:Cueball: What’s the most salient cultural reference for the phrase "my wife"?

:[In the 3rd panel, Cueball has his hands raised.]
:Megan: Ughhhh, true.
:Cueball: Even now, after two decades, when I speak of you I hear his voice, echoing through the halls of memory like a cringey ghost.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Movies]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]

3227: Creation

2026-04-22T03:28:15Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3227
| date = April 1, 2026
| title = Creation
| image = creation_2x.png
| imagesize = 567x198px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = This xkcd.com update introduces a variety of new reading modes which can be activated through the menu.
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 18
| date = April 1, 2026
| days_late =
| day_category = Wednesday
| prev_title = 3074: Push Notifications
| prev_date = April 9, 2025
| next_title =
| next_date =
}}
To experience the interactivity of the web page, visit the {{xkcd|3227|original comic}}!

==Explanation==
In this {{w|April Fool's Day}} comic, several new viewing modes have been added to the xkcd website, accessible through a {{w|drop-down list}} beneath the comic (not visible on Explain xkcd). This was the first time in 15 years that the xkcd site itself had been redesigned, with the previous site redesign coming in 2011 with [[880: Headache]]. This allows various different viewing experiences for the entire website (this included other comics until 15 April 2026; since then it only works on this comic). Some are "normal" viewing modes, like the typical "light" and "dark" modes, but others take such things further and/or in more esoteric ways. This includes an "airplane mode" (see below) that parodies and subverts the {{w|Airplane mode|normal implementation}}.

The accompanying comic references one of the first lines of the {{w|Bible}} (Genesis 1:3), wherein God creates light. Here, though, before God has a chance to fully appreciate their work, a person on Earth immediately requests an implementation of {{w|dark mode}}. Dark mode is a feature on many websites and devices which displays text in white against a black background instead of the default black text on a white background. In low ambient light this makes for a less intense viewing experience that is easier on the eyes, so many people who spend a lot of time looking at screens prefer dark mode (whereas casual users often find light mode easier to read). On OLED screens, another benefit is that less battery life is consumed because of the primarily low brightness of the screen, which makes it useful for those who want to be energy-efficient or extend their battery life.

This demand represents a common experience for web and app designers, who spend a lot of time creating something that looks beautiful to them, and in their particular use case, only to find when it is put out into the wild that it doesn't suit the needs of many of their actual users, who don't particularly care about the effort they've put in.

Dark mode is not usually implemented on planets,{{cn}} although one could argue that night-time is effectively Earth's "dark mode", which could have been created by God as a response to the person. (That seems likely, in fact, given that the very next words in Genesis 1:4 are "and he separated the light from the darkness".) The comic deviates somewhat from traditional Judeo-Christian theology, as in Genesis the day/night cycle was created on the first day, but humans were created on the sixth day - thus, the "dark mode" (night-time) would already have been implemented by the time humans existed. Possibly the person is actually requesting a dark mode that can be toggled at will, rather than one which occurs automatically each day.

Unlike most comics, the title text contains no jokes, but rather explains the update and gives basic instructions.

The comic credits the "Excellent Design Team", consisting of Amber, Benjamin Staffin, and Kevin who helped create the modes.

This credit was also implemented as the new [[Header text]], so that the explanation for the new mode would be visible when viewing all other comics on xkcd, as well as the credit to the design team, see more details [[Header_text#2026-04-07_-_Reading_Modes|here]].

===List of Modes===
; Light Mode
: The usual site experience. Typically, where sites have light and dark modes, light is the default option, so as to mimic ink on paper (such as printed {{w|newspaper comic strip}}s).

; Lighter Mode
: The entire web page is filtered to look {{w|Exposure (photography)#Overexposure and underexposure|overexposed}}, making colors wash out and reducing the contrast.

; Dark Mode
: A standard "white content on black background" dark mode. Specifically, Dark Mode inverts the colors of the page (which makes a {{w|Negative (photography)|colour-negative}} and then hue-rotates it by 180 degrees (to make hue return to normal, only brightness-reversed. (For example, see comic [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution|556]], with dark mode enabled, to see how the hue is maintained.) The background of the page, normally light blue, becomes a dark blue; (near-)whites become (near-)blacks, and vice-versa, only mid-tones staying the same. This inversion makes the content of this particular comic, with the original transition from a dark pane to "let there be light" panes and the subsequent request for this very feature, particularly nonsensical, as it seems to start fully bright, then darken as God creates light.

; Darkest Mode
: Everything on the webpage turns completely black (severely 'underexposed', in effect, the opposite to "Lighter mode" but also even more extreme). The exception is the drop-down menu widget, which may appear as merely a dark gray — and depending upon the browser itself, the dropped-down menu may be its 'natural' appearance when it becomes fully active — which is of course extremely helpful for navigating back out of this mode or onward onto others.

; Blurry Mode
: {{w|Blur (photographic effect)|Blurs}} the entire webpage. This is not conventionally desirable as it makes it harder to read text and interpret visuals. Whereas light and dark mode support can improve {{w|Web accessibility|accessibility}} for certain vision conditions, this mode makes already poor vision even worse.

; Grayscale Mode
: Applies a standard {{w|grayscale}}/{{w|Colorfulness#Saturation|desaturation}} conversion filter to the entire webpage. Many devices provide a grayscale mode as one of their color filter settings, which can simulate different {{w|color vision deficiencies}}. Grayscale specifically can also help improve focus by preventing colors from catching the eye and making distractions less visually appealing.

; Greyscale Mode
: Operates identically to Grayscale Mode, but also changes the spelling of "math" in the slogan at the top of the page to "maths" (to go along with the respective {{w|American and British English spelling differences|British English}} use of ''{{wiktionary|gray}}/{{wiktionary|grey}}'').

; Dorian Greyscale Mode
: Makes the webpage slowly turn grey, including darkening/fading-to-grey 'white' areas. This refers to ''{{w|The Picture of Dorian Gray}}'', in which the titular character has a portrait that slowly ages and fades out while the character stays young and handsome. The transformation finishes after 5 minutes.

: Of note is that the surname of the titular character is "{{w|Grey (disambiguation)#People|Gray}}" (as is still common, if not dominant, in Britain), but the mode itself is named for the primary British/non-American standard English version of the word for such a hueless shade.

: No relation to the {{w|Dorian mode}}, a musical scale.

; Space Opera Mode
: Turns the entire page into a ''{{w|Star Wars}}''-style opening scroll, which loops round until you change the mode. Scrolling the mouse scrolls up or down through the page content. {{w|Space opera}} is a genre of sci-fi that ''Star Wars'' falls under. Opera is the name of a web browser, though it does not usually display content in this way.

; 3D Mode
: Makes the comic render in {{w|Anaglyph 3D|anaglyphic stereoscopy}}. [[Randall]] has used 3D space before for [[848|another joke comic]]. He has also utilized a similar joke for the 2011 xkcd redesign, which was released along with [[880: Headache]].

; Origami Mode
: Rotates and folds various pieces of the webpage, as if it were {{w|origami}}-folded.

; Ink Mode
: Recolors the webpage as if drawn in blue ink, which is often used for the initial roughing-out of a drawing.

; Spring Mode
: Gives the comic a simple physics simulation, making it slightly rotate around an axis when the page is scrolled, and giving it a {{w|springboard}} look, hence the name. The axis around which the page precesses is perpendicular to the axis the user scrolls on. This means that when the page is scrolled vertically (the usual direction), the comic wobbles around a horizontal axis, but when scrolled horizontally (if your screen size or zoom allows it), the comic precesses about the vertical axis.

; Antipodes Mode
: Turns the entire webpage upside down. An {{w|antipodes|antipode}} is the point on the Earth's surface directly opposite of another, but "The Antipodes" is also a term used to refer to {{w|Australia}} and {{w|New Zealand}} by inhabitants of the northern hemisphere. Note: When the comic was first published this was labeled "Southern Hemisphere Mode".

; Hacker Mode
: Recolors the entire webpage in the stereotypical green-on-black coding environment color scheme often used by {{w|hacker}}s in film and TV. This visual shorthand is a holdover from early {{w|monochrome monitor}}s that used P1 phosphor. (Modern terminal software has no such limitations, and many programmers today use {{w|syntax highlighting}} to color-code operators and keywords.)

; Screensaver Mode
: Makes the comic float around on the webpage, bouncing as it hits the edges. A common type of {{w|screensaver}} has some text or other element drifting around the screen in this way. Many people ended up watching such screensavers, waiting for the bouncing graphic to hit the corner of the screen. Like with Hacker Mode, there is an element of nostalgia to this; screensavers are less necessary on modern LCD screens, so fewer setups use them.

; Modem Mode
: Slowly reveals the comic from top to bottom, as if slowly loading (but [[598: Porn|only in approximation]]) the way images often used to have to be progressively rendered from a low-rate stream of image data in the days of more limited dial-up connections and also a lower-performance {{w|internet backbone}} in general. This is accompanied by audio of the sound of a {{w|modem}} communicating over such a connection. NB - this mode does not appear to function correctly/reliably for some viewers.

; Stained Glass Mode
: Fills each closed area of the comic with a separate color to mimic the look of {{w|stained glass}} imagery. The colors vary each time this mode is selected or the page is reloaded in this mode, which works by flooding a single pseudorandom hue over all areas of near-white, each flood bounded only by any sufficiently dark or saturated drawn line/border. Strangely enough, on this mode you can't see the title text. This is because the canvas used to apply the hues is functionally covering the image: the javascript used to do this should have been made to copy the comic image's title attribute and make it apply to the overlaid canvas for the benefit of the browser.

; Airplane Mode
: Makes the comic fly around on the page, with the {{w|onomatopoeia}} "NYOOM!" written next to it, as if it were an {{w|airplane}}. This is unlike the usual use of {{w|airplane mode}} to refer to disabling the cellphone (or all {{w|radio frequency}}) features of a mobile device, as required on most flights. Of course, the website's "Airplane Mode" does no such thing, and would be pointless to enable on an airplane.{{cn}}

; Boat Mode
: Makes the entire webpage tilt back and forth, emulating the way a boat rolls on the water. While [[165: Turn Signals|extremely unlikely]], this could theoretically counteract the rocking motion of a boat, stabilizing the page content. In practice, it is unlikely to help with {{w|seasickness}}. (As of 2024, some smart devices started offering a "vehicle motion cues" feature that is meant to reduce motion sickness, although it is designed for road vehicles rather than watercraft.)

: This mode is a reference to the longstanding mention of a Boat Mode in the [[footnote]], which says "Remove your device from Airplane Mode and set it to Boat Mode".

==Transcript==
:[Black background with white caption boxes.]
:Caption: And God said,
:Caption:"Let there be light,"

:[A bright explosion of light from a star in the center, with a white caption box.]
:Caption: And there was light.

:[The star with bright rays of light is shown against the horizon of a planet.]
:[The same planet horizon is shown with a clear sky above.]
:Caption: God saw that the light was-
:Voice from the planet: Can you add support for dark mode?

<noinclude>{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:April Fools' Day comics]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]
</noinclude>

3234: Europa Missions

2026-04-19T02:00:56Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3234
| date = April 17, 2026
| title = Europa Missions
| image = europa_missions_2x.png
| imagesize = 515x274px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Before resurfacing, they promise to inspect the ice for any evidence of hockey-playing life.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by the Zamboni Voyager. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
In recent years, {{w|NASA}} and the {{w|European Space Agency}} (ESA) have sent spacecraft to observe Jupiter’s moon Europa. According to NASA, the moon could be a candidate for life, so it would make sense that the scientists would send spacecraft to observe it. The first two craft, the {{w|Europa Clipper}} and {{w|Jupiter Icy Moons Explorer}}, respectively, will investigate the ocean, topography and chemistry of the moon, to help in searching for signs of life. Europa's ocean is frozen on the top, thus "subsurface ocean."

A {{w|Zamboni}} is a vehicle that, rather than being a scientific misson or a transport for other scientific missions, is meant to quickly resurface ice rinks that have been worn down. The comic talks about a hypothetical spacecraft carrying a Zamboni because the {{w|National Hockey League}} (NHL) wants to expand their games to Europa due to the surface of the moon’s oceans being completely covered in ice. Hockey in reduced gravity would be {{What If|124|an interesting idea.}}

The title text talks about finding hockey playing life on Europa, which would be unlikely, as the life on Earth and Europa are completely separate cultures,{{citation needed}} so even if the life on Europa does have its own forms of entertainment similar to sports, it would be unlikely that the sports played have even {{w|Convergent evolution|remotely similar}} rules or equipment. It appears that, if life were on Europa that did not play hockey, the NHL would not consider them important enough to reassess the impacts of their space mission.

==Trivia==
The [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/f/fd/20260418170145%21europa_missions_2x.png original version of the comic] incorrectly referred to the "Jupiter Icy Moons ''Orbiter''".

==Transcript==
:[Cueball's upper body is shown; he is in front of an image of a spacecraft.]
:Cueball: There are now three spacecraft headed to Europa:
:Cueball: NASA's ''Europa Clipper'', which investigate Europa's subsurface ocean,

:[In a longer shot, Cueball, Ponytail, and Hairy are all shown standing in front of another spacecraft image, with Cueball gesturing at it.]
:Cueball: ESA's ''Jupiter Icy Moons Explorer'', which will study the topography and chemistry of Europa and the other moons,

:[Another closeup on Cueball, who is in front of an image of a {{w|Zamboni}} with a firing rocket nozzle on its bottom.]
:Cueball: And the NHL's ''Zamboni Voyager'', which plans to resurface Europa.
:Voice out of frame: Oh no.
:Cueball: We tried to stop them, but the league is set on an expansion.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Sport]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

User:1234231587678

2026-04-19T01:48:22Z

1234231587678:

I didn't feel like adding information, so here's filler text instead!

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Please message me on my discussion page.

2024-04-08

Staring at the Sun was very fun.

2025-09-01

I like TETR.IO too much and that's a problem HELP

2025-10-14

I am #42 Yeyyyeysyysyeyyeysyyeyesyesyyeyyeyys

2026-04-18

I broke a plate. Oops.

1196: Subways

2026-04-16T02:13:40Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1196
| date = April 8, 2013
| title = Subways
| image = subways.png
| titletext = About one in three North American subway stops are in NYC.
}}
{{TOC}}* The xkcd page links to [https://xkcd.com/1196/large/ a much larger version], which has another text added:
{{Quote|For the pedantic rail enthusiasts, the definition of a subway used here is, with some caveats, "a network containing high capacity grade-separated passenger rail transit lines which run frequently, serve an urban core, and are underground or elevated for at least part of their downtown route." For the rest of you, the definition is "an underground train in a city."}}

==Explanation==
[[File:North American subways.svg.png|right|border|link=http://www.radicalcartography.net/subways.html|North America Subways by Prof. Bill Rankin]]
The comic shows the maps of all North American {{w|subway}} networks. In reality, none of these systems are interconnected, but in the diagram subways from different cities that have the same color on the official subway map have whimsically named connections, such as the "Ohio-California Tunnel" connecting the Green Lines of Cleveland and Los Angeles, or the "Rocky Mountain Tunnel" connecting the Blue Lines of Chicago and San Francisco. Vancouver and San Francisco are connected through a station called Richmond, which appears to double as {{w|Richmond, British Columbia}} and {{w|Richmond, California}}. The "Springfield Monorail" is fictional, from the animated series ''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' (see {{w|Marge vs. the Monorail}}), but its approximate location on this map would suggest the [http://www.seattlemonorail.com/ Seattle Monorail], or perhaps Springfield, Oregon, which [http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Matt-Groening-Reveals-the-Location-of-the-Real-Springfield.html Matt Groening revealed was the inspiration for the Simpsons' hometown].

The [http://www.radicalcartography.net/subways.html Urban Mass Transit Systems of North America] map (right) created by [http://hshm.yale.edu/rankin Yale Professor Bill Rankin] on his website [http://www.radicalcartography.net/ Radical Cartography] in 2006 presents all of the subway systems in North America at the same scale using geographic, instead of topological, layout. The networks on xkcd's map are displayed with absolutely no consideration to geographic position, in order to connect like-colored routes together. While {{w|Vancouver}} is the most North-West, {{w|Mexico City}} being the most South, and San Francisco the most west, distances are not accurate (in reality, Vancouver is closer to Chicago than to Toronto for example) and cities are often arranged in the wrong direction from one another:

* San Francisco is shown directly west of Toronto - in reality west southwest
* Boston is shown directly north of New York City and just slightly to the west - in reality east northeast
* Atlanta is shown west southwest of Miami - it is actually north northwest
* Atlanta is shown northwest of Mexico City - it is actually northeast
* Atlanta is shown slightly east of being south of Los Angeles - it is actually just slightly north of being directly east

The map's design is modeled after the system map of the {{w|Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority}} in Boston where Randall is from.

===City-specific notes===

===={{w|SkyTrain_(Vancouver)|Vancouver}}====
*The {{w|Canada Line}} and the {{w|Expo Line (TransLink)|Expo Line}} are shown as the same color; SkyTrain's official maps depict them with light blue and dark blue respectively.
*{{w|Richmond, British Columbia|Richmond}}, B.C., is the name of the city where the southernmost terminus of the Canada Line is located, and shares its name with {{w|Richmond, California}} (see San Francisco section).

===={{w|MBTA subway|Boston}}====
*The "Green Line Extension to Canada" references {{w|Green Line Extension|the actual project}} to extend the {{w|Green Line (MBTA)|Green Line}} into Medford, north of Boston, which was completed in 2022.
*The "Ashmont–Manhattan High-Speed Line" shown as connecting Boston's Red Line to New York City's 1 train is a play on the {{w|Ashmont-Mattapan High Speed Line}} in Boston.
*The renamed {{w|Red Line (MBTA)|Red Line}} stops {{w|Quincy Center station|Skinflower}} and {{w|Quincy Adams station|Bonevine}} are plays on the actual name of the Red Line's terminus, {{w|Braintree (MBTA station)|Braintree}}.
*The {{w|Orange Line (MBTA)|Orange Line}} terminates at {{w|Forest Hills station (MBTA)|Forest Hills}} in {{w|Jamaica Plain}}. It is connected to New York's IND Concourse Line, but unfortunately despite its ambiguous appearance on the map this does not actually through-run to the IND Queens Boulevard Line with its {{w|Forest Hills-71st Avenue station|Forest Hills}} and {{w|Jamaica–179th Street station|Jamaica}} stations.

====San Francisco====
*Both {{w|Muni Metro|Muni}} and {{w|Bay Area Rapid Transit|BART}} are depicted in San Francisco's map and are completely separate systems, although the map gives the impression that trains interline between the two. Non-wheelchair-accessible stops on Muni lines are omitted.
*{{w|Richmond, California|Richmond}} is the name of the city where the northern terminus of the {{w|Richmond-Fremont line|Richmond–Fremont}} and the {{w|Richmond-Daly City/Millbrae line|Richmond–Daly City/Millbrae}} BART lines are located, and shares its name with {{w|Richmond, British Columbia|Richmond, British Columbia}} (see Vancouver section).
*"Sunnydale" is the {{w|Sunnydale Station|actual name}} of the terminus of the Muni {{w|T Third Street}} line, not to be confused with {{w|Sunnydale|the city}} where ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' is set, nor the very real city of {{w|Sunnyvale, California|Sunnyvale}}, located approximately at the location shown, some 40 miles southeast of San Francisco.

===={{w|Los Angeles Metro Rail|Los Angeles}}====
*The {{w|Gold Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Gold Line}} and the {{w|Orange Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Orange Line}} are shown with swapped colors.
*The Orange Line is the only {{w|bus rapid transit}} (BRT) line to be shown on the map. LA Metro also operates a second BRT line, the {{w|Silver Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Silver Line}}, which is not shown.

====New York City====
*The {{w|New York City Subway}}, {{w|Port Authority Trans-Hudson}} (PATH), and the single line of the {{w|Staten Island Railway}} (with a connection via the {{w|Staten Island Ferry}}) are shown.
*{{w|Jamaica, Queens|Jamaica}} is the name of the neighborhood in Queens where the E, F, and J/Z trains terminate. Kingston is the capital and largest city in the country of {{w|Jamaica}}.
*The actual {{w|G (New York City Subway service)|G train}} is notorious for unreliable service, hence the "Random Service" notation.
*The "Robert Moses High-Speed Line" refers to the NYC urban planner {{w|Robert Moses}}, who was one of the most influential planners in supporting cars over all public transport, creating the car-dependent {{w|New York metropolitan area}}.

====Philadelphia====
*Both {{w|SEPTA}} subway lines, a portion of the {{w|SEPTA Subway–Surface Trolley Lines}}, and the {{w|PATCO Speedline}} are shown.
*The {{w|Norristown High Speed Line}} and {{w|Media-Sharon Hill Lines}} are not shown
*"Trolley Rt. 10 to California" is a play on the actual {{w|SEPTA Route 10|Route 10}} trolley.
*The {{w|West Trenton Line}}, a commuter rail line, has accidentally ended up in Cleveland for no reason.

===={{w|Washington Metro|Washington, DC}}====
*The "Graveyard for passengers killed by closing doors" refers to the warning played in the Washington DC Metro system advising passengers that the subway doors are "not like elevator doors" and will close on your limbs or belongings rather than opening when contact with an object is detected.
*The "Morgantown, WV Automated Line" references the {{w|Morgantown Personal Rapid Transit}} system, which was built in 1975 as a {{w|personal rapid transit}} demonstrator and serves the three campuses of West Virginia University.
*{{w|Greenbelt (WMATA station)|Greenbelt}} is the northern terminus of the Washington Metro's Green and Yellow lines, hence the Green line being depicted as forming a belt.
*This comic was made before the Silver line was constructed, so it does not appear in the comic.

===={{w|Metrorail (Miami-Dade County)|Miami}}====
*The "Caribbean Metromover" references the {{w|Miami Metromover}}, a people mover in downtown Miami (not shown on the map.)
*The airport logo for Miami International Airport (MIA) is replaced with a paper airplane.

===={{w|Tren Urbano|San Juan}}====
*The "Puerto Rico Submarine" that connects the Red Lines of San Juan and New York refers to the fact that San Juan is on an island, namely {{w|Puerto Rico}}. It is a pun on the Staten Island Ferry, which also has New York at one end, the idea being that there could be a different, comically unlikely sea-faring vessel travelling to Puerto Rico.
*The "Mona Tunnel" that connects the Red Lines of San Juan and Santo Domingo may refer to the island of {{w|Isla de Mona|Mona}}, which lies between Puerto Rico and Hispaniola.

===={{w|Metrorrey|Monterrey}}====
*The "Chicxulub Tunnel" that connects the Red Lines of Santo Domingo and Monterrey refers to the 65-million-year-old {{w|Chicxulub crater}}, which lies roughly between the two cities.

===Official subway maps===
*Atlanta - http://www.itsmarta.com/rail-schedules-or-route.aspx
*Baltimore (MTA Maryland) - http://mta.maryland.gov/sites/default/files/metro-subway.jpg
*Boston (MBTA) - http://www.mbta.com/schedules_and_maps/subway/
*Chicago (CTA) - http://www.transitchicago.com/assets/1/maps/P19_2012_CTA_Rail_Map.pdf
*Cleveland - http://www.riderta.com/pdf/maps/System_Map_Rapid_Connect.pdf
*Los Angeles (LACMTA) - http://www.metro.net/riding_metro/maps/images/rail_map.gif
*Mexico City - http://www.metro.df.gob.mx/imagenes/red/redinternet.pdf
*Montreal - http://www.stm.info/english/metro/images/plan-metro.jpg
*New York City (MTA) - http://www.mta.info/maps/submap.html
*New York City (PATH) - http://www.panynj.gov/path/maps.html
*Philadelphia (SEPTA and PATCO) - http://www.septa.org/maps/system/index.html
*San Francisco (BART) - http://www.bart.gov/images/global/system-map.gif
*San Francisco (MUNI) - https://www.sfmta.com/maps/muni-metro-map
*Toronto (TTC) - https://www.tourbytransit.com/toronto/public-transit/subway
*Vancouver - http://mapa-metro.com/mapas/Vancouver/mapa-metro-vancouver.png
*Washington (WMATA) - http://wmata.com/rail/maps/map.cfm

===Missing cities===
Not all cities with a subway are shown on the map. Missing from the map:
*Pittsburgh (Port Authority of Allegheny County) has a light rail subway tunnel, called '''The T''', in the downtown area. The subway {{W|Pittsburgh Light Rail|opened in 1985}}, which is before this comic was published.{{Citation needed}}
*Seattle (Sound Transit) has a light rail called the '''link light rail''' has multiple underground tunnels as well as above ground stop. {{W|Link light rail| Opened in 2003}}, there are 3 seperate lines, serving Lynwood, Seattle, and Seattle–Tacoma International Airport on the 1 line, King County Eastside on the 2 line, and Downtown Tacoma and the Tacoma Dome on the T line.

{{clear}}

==Transcript==
:'''Subways of North America'''
:[A subway-line style (bold colored, 45-degree aligned lines with white bars indicating stations) map has been constructed by combining and linking various parts of the subway maps from many different cities, as if all of the transit systems were connected directly. The cities include (from top to bottom, left to right) Vancouver, Montreal, San Francisco, Toronto, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, Cleveland, New York City, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington DC, Miami, Atlanta, Monterrey, San Juan, Santo Domingo, and Mexico City.]

==Trivia==
This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20220125024922/https://store.xkcd.com/products/subways available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

This comic also makes a good map for the Subway Planet in [[2765: Escape Speed]] and the link to xkcd is shown on the planet.
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

1196: Subways

2026-04-16T02:12:42Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1196
| date = April 8, 2013
| title = Subways
| image = subways.png
| titletext = About one in three North American subway stops are in NYC.
}}
{{TOC}}* The xkcd page links to [https://xkcd.com/1196/large/ a much larger version], which has another text added:
{{Quote|For the pedantic rail enthusiasts, the definition of a subway used here is, with some caveats, "a network containing high capacity grade-separated passenger rail transit lines which run frequently, serve an urban core, and are underground or elevated for at least part of their downtown route." For the rest of you, the definition is "an underground train in a city."}}

==Explanation==
[[File:North American subways.svg.png|right|border|link=http://www.radicalcartography.net/subways.html|North America Subways by Prof. Bill Rankin]]
The comic shows the maps of all North American {{w|subway}} networks. In reality, none of these systems are interconnected, but in the diagram subways from different cities that have the same color on the official subway map have whimsically named connections, such as the "Ohio-California Tunnel" connecting the Green Lines of Cleveland and Los Angeles, or the "Rocky Mountain Tunnel" connecting the Blue Lines of Chicago and San Francisco. Vancouver and San Francisco are connected through a station called Richmond, which appears to double as {{w|Richmond, British Columbia}} and {{w|Richmond, California}}. The "Springfield Monorail" is fictional, from the animated series ''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' (see {{w|Marge vs. the Monorail}}), but its approximate location on this map would suggest the [http://www.seattlemonorail.com/ Seattle Monorail], or perhaps Springfield, Oregon, which [http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Matt-Groening-Reveals-the-Location-of-the-Real-Springfield.html Matt Groening revealed was the inspiration for the Simpsons' hometown].

The [http://www.radicalcartography.net/subways.html Urban Mass Transit Systems of North America] map (right) created by [http://hshm.yale.edu/rankin Yale Professor Bill Rankin] on his website [http://www.radicalcartography.net/ Radical Cartography] in 2006 presents all of the subway systems in North America at the same scale using geographic, instead of topological, layout. The networks on xkcd's map are displayed with absolutely no consideration to geographic position, in order to connect like-colored routes together. While {{w|Vancouver}} is the most North-West, {{w|Mexico City}} being the most South, and San Francisco the most west, distances are not accurate (in reality, Vancouver is closer to Chicago than to Toronto for example) and cities are often arranged in the wrong direction from one another:

* San Francisco is shown directly west of Toronto - in reality west southwest
* Boston is shown directly north of New York City and just slightly to the west - in reality east northeast
* Atlanta is shown west southwest of Miami - it is actually north northwest
* Atlanta is shown northwest of Mexico City - it is actually northeast
* Atlanta is shown slightly east of being south of Los Angeles - it is actually just slightly north of being directly east

The map's design is modeled after the system map of the {{w|Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority}} in Boston where Randall is from.

===City-specific notes===

===={{w|SkyTrain_(Vancouver)|Vancouver}}====
*The {{w|Canada Line}} and the {{w|Expo Line (TransLink)|Expo Line}} are shown as the same color; SkyTrain's official maps depict them with light blue and dark blue respectively.
*{{w|Richmond, British Columbia|Richmond}}, B.C., is the name of the city where the southernmost terminus of the Canada Line is located, and shares its name with {{w|Richmond, California}} (see San Francisco section).

===={{w|MBTA subway|Boston}}====
*The "Green Line Extension to Canada" references {{w|Green Line Extension|the actual project}} to extend the {{w|Green Line (MBTA)|Green Line}} into Medford, north of Boston, which was completed in 2022.
*The "Ashmont–Manhattan High-Speed Line" shown as connecting Boston's Red Line to New York City's 1 train is a play on the {{w|Ashmont-Mattapan High Speed Line}} in Boston.
*The renamed {{w|Red Line (MBTA)|Red Line}} stops {{w|Quincy Center station|Skinflower}} and {{w|Quincy Adams station|Bonevine}} are plays on the actual name of the Red Line's terminus, {{w|Braintree (MBTA station)|Braintree}}.
*The {{w|Orange Line (MBTA)|Orange Line}} terminates at {{w|Forest Hills station (MBTA)|Forest Hills}} in {{w|Jamaica Plain}}. It is connected to New York's IND Concourse Line, but unfortunately despite its ambiguous appearance on the map this does not actually through-run to the IND Queens Boulevard Line with its {{w|Forest Hills-71st Avenue station|Forest Hills}} and {{w|Jamaica–179th Street station|Jamaica}} stations.

====San Francisco====
*Both {{w|Muni Metro|Muni}} and {{w|Bay Area Rapid Transit|BART}} are depicted in San Francisco's map and are completely separate systems, although the map gives the impression that trains interline between the two. Non-wheelchair-accessible stops on Muni lines are omitted.
*{{w|Richmond, California|Richmond}} is the name of the city where the northern terminus of the {{w|Richmond-Fremont line|Richmond–Fremont}} and the {{w|Richmond-Daly City/Millbrae line|Richmond–Daly City/Millbrae}} BART lines are located, and shares its name with {{w|Richmond, British Columbia|Richmond, British Columbia}} (see Vancouver section).
*"Sunnydale" is the {{w|Sunnydale Station|actual name}} of the terminus of the Muni {{w|T Third Street}} line, not to be confused with {{w|Sunnydale|the city}} where ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' is set, nor the very real city of {{w|Sunnyvale, California|Sunnyvale}}, located approximately at the location shown, some 40 miles southeast of San Francisco.

===={{w|Los Angeles Metro Rail|Los Angeles}}====
*The {{w|Gold Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Gold Line}} and the {{w|Orange Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Orange Line}} are shown with swapped colors.
*The Orange Line is the only {{w|bus rapid transit}} (BRT) line to be shown on the map. LA Metro also operates a second BRT line, the {{w|Silver Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Silver Line}}, which is not shown.

====New York City====
*The {{w|New York City Subway}}, {{w|Port Authority Trans-Hudson}} (PATH), and the single line of the {{w|Staten Island Railway}} (with a connection via the {{w|Staten Island Ferry}}) are shown.
*{{w|Jamaica, Queens|Jamaica}} is the name of the neighborhood in Queens where the E, F, and J/Z trains terminate. Kingston is the capital and largest city in the country of {{w|Jamaica}}.
*The actual {{w|G (New York City Subway service)|G train}} is notorious for unreliable service, hence the "Random Service" notation.
*The "Robert Moses High-Speed Line" refers to the NYC urban planner {{w|Robert Moses}}, who was one of the most influential planners in supporting cars over all public transport, creating the car-dependent {{w|New York metropolitan area}}.

====Philadelphia====
*Both {{w|SEPTA}} subway lines, a portion of the {{w|SEPTA Subway–Surface Trolley Lines}}, and the {{w|PATCO Speedline}} are shown.
*The {{w|Norristown High Speed Line}} and {{w|Media-Sharon Hill Lines}} are not shown
*"Trolley Rt. 10 to California" is a play on the actual {{w|SEPTA Route 10|Route 10}} trolley.
*The {{w|West Trenton Line}}, a commuter rail line, has accidentally ended up in Cleveland for no reason.

===={{w|Washington Metro|Washington, DC}}====
*The "Graveyard for passengers killed by closing doors" refers to the warning played in the Washington DC Metro system advising passengers that the subway doors are "not like elevator doors" and will close on your limbs or belongings rather than opening when contact with an object is detected.
*The "Morgantown, WV Automated Line" references the {{w|Morgantown Personal Rapid Transit}} system, which was built in 1975 as a {{w|personal rapid transit}} demonstrator and serves the three campuses of West Virginia University.
*{{w|Greenbelt (WMATA station)|Greenbelt}} is the northern terminus of the Washington Metro's Green and Yellow lines, hence the Green line being depicted as forming a belt.
*This comic was made before the Silver line was constructed, so it does not appear in the comic.

===={{w|Metrorail (Miami-Dade County)|Miami}}====
*The "Caribbean Metromover" references the {{w|Miami Metromover}}, a people mover in downtown Miami (not shown on the map.)
*The airport logo for Miami International Airport (MIA) is replaced with a paper airplane.

===={{w|Tren Urbano|San Juan}}====
*The "Puerto Rico Submarine" that connects the Red Lines of San Juan and New York refers to the fact that San Juan is on an island, namely {{w|Puerto Rico}}. It is a pun on the Staten Island Ferry, which also has New York at one end, the idea being that there could be a different, comically unlikely sea-faring vessel travelling to Puerto Rico.
*The "Mona Tunnel" that connects the Red Lines of San Juan and Santo Domingo may refer to the island of {{w|Isla de Mona|Mona}}, which lies between Puerto Rico and Hispaniola.

===={{w|Metrorrey|Monterrey}}====
*The "Chicxulub Tunnel" that connects the Red Lines of Santo Domingo and Monterey refers to the 65-million-year-old {{w|Chicxulub crater}}, which lies roughly between the two cities.

===Official subway maps===
*Atlanta - http://www.itsmarta.com/rail-schedules-or-route.aspx
*Baltimore (MTA Maryland) - http://mta.maryland.gov/sites/default/files/metro-subway.jpg
*Boston (MBTA) - http://www.mbta.com/schedules_and_maps/subway/
*Chicago (CTA) - http://www.transitchicago.com/assets/1/maps/P19_2012_CTA_Rail_Map.pdf
*Cleveland - http://www.riderta.com/pdf/maps/System_Map_Rapid_Connect.pdf
*Los Angeles (LACMTA) - http://www.metro.net/riding_metro/maps/images/rail_map.gif
*Mexico City - http://www.metro.df.gob.mx/imagenes/red/redinternet.pdf
*Montreal - http://www.stm.info/english/metro/images/plan-metro.jpg
*New York City (MTA) - http://www.mta.info/maps/submap.html
*New York City (PATH) - http://www.panynj.gov/path/maps.html
*Philadelphia (SEPTA and PATCO) - http://www.septa.org/maps/system/index.html
*San Francisco (BART) - http://www.bart.gov/images/global/system-map.gif
*San Francisco (MUNI) - https://www.sfmta.com/maps/muni-metro-map
*Toronto (TTC) - https://www.tourbytransit.com/toronto/public-transit/subway
*Vancouver - http://mapa-metro.com/mapas/Vancouver/mapa-metro-vancouver.png
*Washington (WMATA) - http://wmata.com/rail/maps/map.cfm

===Missing cities===
Not all cities with a subway are shown on the map. Missing from the map:
*Pittsburgh (Port Authority of Allegheny County) has a light rail subway tunnel, called '''The T''', in the downtown area. The subway {{W|Pittsburgh Light Rail|opened in 1985}}, which is before this comic was published.{{Citation needed}}
*Seattle (Sound Transit) has a light rail called the '''link light rail''' has multiple underground tunnels as well as above ground stop. {{W|Link light rail| Opened in 2003}}, there are 3 seperate lines, serving Lynwood, Seattle, and Seattle–Tacoma International Airport on the 1 line, King County Eastside on the 2 line, and Downtown Tacoma and the Tacoma Dome on the T line.

{{clear}}

==Transcript==
:'''Subways of North America'''
:[A subway-line style (bold colored, 45-degree aligned lines with white bars indicating stations) map has been constructed by combining and linking various parts of the subway maps from many different cities, as if all of the transit systems were connected directly. The cities include (from top to bottom, left to right) Vancouver, Montreal, San Francisco, Toronto, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, Cleveland, New York City, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington DC, Miami, Atlanta, Monterrey, San Juan, Santo Domingo, and Mexico City.]

==Trivia==
This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20220125024922/https://store.xkcd.com/products/subways available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

This comic also makes a good map for the Subway Planet in [[2765: Escape Speed]] and the link to xkcd is shown on the planet.
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

1523: Microdrones

2026-04-16T01:55:50Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1523
| date = May 11, 2015
| title = Microdrones
| image = microdrones.png
| titletext = Oh, weird, Amazon is out of butterfly nets.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Amazon Prime Air}} is a {{w|drone}}-based delivery system by Amazon.com currently being rolled out to cities, but at the time was still in its conceptual stage. While on one level he thinks the idea is cool, [[Cueball]] worries about living in a sci-fi {{w|dystopia}}, with those drones flying all around him, tracking his actions, etc. In the third panel, [[Megan]] suggests sending a message to Congress, suggesting a law for making the stealing of drones legal. This would alleviate the problem of drones flying around everywhere because if they did people would catch them to use for themselves. In the final panel Megan begins to search for {{w|butterfly nets}} so they are ready to catch the microdrones when the law to make it legal to steal the drones goes through.

This tactic may not work as well as planned; drones will likely simply fly higher or employ other security measures since there are no regulations on drone behavior.

The title text implies that Amazon has seen this idea coming; they've marked butterfly nets as "out of stock", to prevent prospective drone thieves from acquiring them. Alternatively, it could be taken to mean that:
*Amazon is out of stock of butterfly nets due to everyone purchasing them to catch drones with, implying many people had the same idea as Megan.
*Non-Amazon individuals controlling the drones have pre-emptively purchased them all.
*Amazon has put all of its nets into a private stock, in order to steal other companies' or individuals' drones.
*Amazon's drones have already become self-aware, and have altered the database in order to prevent their capture.

Amazon drones is also the subject of the title text in [[1625: Substitutions 2]] and there are two {{w|quadcopters}} over the volcano lake in [[1608: Hoverboard]]. Also, Cueball is abducted by seemly sentient drones in [[1630: Quadcopter]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing behind Megan who sits at a desk typing on her laptop.]
:Cueball: So how do we regulate all these micro drones?
:Cueball: I mean, Amazon delivery bots sound cool...

:[Cueball stands alone surrounded by three micro drones.]
:Cueball: But I worry that overnight we'll realize we're surrounded by these things, no one will know who's controlling them, and then ''bam'', sci-fi dystopia.

:[Megan turns in her chair towards Cueball.]
:Megan: If you wanna slow it down, why not just remove all regulations, but then make drone theft legal?

:[Cueball takes his hand to his chin and Megan turns back to type on the laptop.]
:Cueball: ...I ''like'' that.
:Megan: You write to congress.
:Megan: I'll stock up on butterfly nets.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Robots]]
[[Category:Butterfly net]]
[[Category:Drones]]

2788: Musical Scales

2026-04-16T01:49:50Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 2788
| date = June 12, 2023
| title = Musical Scales
| image = musical_scales_2x.png
| imagesize = 326x222px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = In the Hall of the Mountain King was accidentally composed on log/log paper.
}}

==Explanation==
In {{w|Musical_notation#Modern_staff_notation|standard Western musical notation}}, the horizontal position of a note indicates its relative temporal position in the piece, and the vertical position of a note denotes  its pitch; but the pitch is really a logarithm of the note's frequency, as the frequency of a note doubles every octave, so it's a semi-log plot of sorts. The comic thus explores what a notation would look like if the horizontal axis behaved this way instead. Likewise, the vertical axis has been rendered linearly by frequency, with the normally equally-set lines on a normal musical staff stretching to compensate for the increasing jumps between pitches.

[[File:SimpleGifts.png|thumb|The nonstandard music notation depicted in the comic is the opening five measures of "{{w|Simple Gifts}}" ([https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/16/Simple_Gifts_-_Pendyrus_Choir-cory_Band.ogg listen.])]]

[[Randall]] may have mistakenly assumed that the lines of a music stave represent a linear increase in pitch and thus an exponential increase in frequency. He has thus mapped them onto a logarithmic scale by doubling the space between each successive line of the stave - one space between the bottom two lines, then two spaces, then four, then eight. In fact, the lines and the spaces between them correspond to notes in the C Major scale, which have unequal gaps between them. It is also possible that he is aware of this small inaccuracy and chose to ignore it in the name of humor.

The title text purports to explain how {{w|In the Hall of the Mountain King}}, which progressively accelerates from an initially subtle start into a rapid hustle towards a series of crescendos at the end, was written on {{w|Log–log plot|log-log paper}}, that features nonlinear expansion in ''both'' its axes, in order to render various exponential graphs linear, often for the purposes of ease of understanding. Rather than these features being a deliberate composition decision, this says that they're only the result of how it was written down or read. Here, the music was originally written ''as though'' for log-log paper, using shorter notes as the piece went on, intended to have consistent actual durations throughout the piece—and then ''interpreted'' on a linear time scale, such that the later notes actually had shorter durations, speeding up the piece.

==Transcript==
:[The sheet music for "Simple Gifts" on a distorted staff.]
:[Caption below the panel]:
:When transcribing music, remember to put ''frequency'' on a log scale and ''time'' on a linear one, not the other way around.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Music]]

824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)

2026-04-16T01:22:42Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 824
| date = November 24, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)
| image = guest_week_bill_amend_foxtrot.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Bill Amend of FoxTrot, an inspiration to all us nerdy-physics-majors-turned-cartoonists, of which there are an oddly large number.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Bill Amend}}, author of the newspaper comic ''{{w|FoxTrot}}'', draws for [[Randall]] in this special '[[:Category:Guest Week|Guest Week]]' edition of [[xkcd]]. In the first two panels, we see {{w|List_of_FoxTrot_characters#Jason_Fox|Jason Fox}}, a geeky 10-year-old from Amend's strip. Jason asks to draw comics for Randall. When Randall refuses, he uses the {{w|sudo}} command, used in {{w|Unix}} systems to perform an action as an administrator/super user. This forces Randall to agree. This is a reference to the very popular comic [[149: Sandwich]], which has now become a geek culture catch-phrase.

It is a recurring theme in ''FoxTrot'' for Jason to offer to make substitute comics for artists, said comics usually involving mocking his sister Paige, and it is possible that Ponytail is representing her. This would be the first time that someone accepted his offers to make comics.

In the first comic, [[Cueball]] is making a pun on the word {{Wiktionary|attractive}}. In the first context it means a person is "good looking" or "beautiful" which the female character attributes to her hair. In Cueball's context, he means that he is feeling an increased gravitational pull from the woman, due to her increase in mass (see {{w|Gravitation}}). This setup is also very typical of the Jason Fox character, who, ostensibly ten, is supposed to be too young to like girls. The female character's hair is done up in a ponytail similar to how Paige usually keeps hers, so this comic strip may also be a joke at Paige's expense.

In 1927 {{w|Werner Heisenberg}} postulated his eponymous {{w|Uncertainty principle|Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle}}, which roughly states that in {{w|quantum mechanics}} one cannot know both the position and momentum of a particle. The joke is that (presumably) Elisabeth Heisenberg does not know the position of her keys, because she knows too much about their momentum. (This is also the subject of [[1473: Location Sharing]].)

In many {{w|parliament}}ary and {{w|congress}}ional halls it is customary, when calling an issue to vote to have the people who want the issue at hand to be passed to say out loud that they agree. The customary response to this is to say "aye." The dissenters are then asked. Their response would be "nay" or "no". Then the volume (by rough {{w|decibel}}s) of the assenters and dissenters are weighed. If it is close, a more formal vote may be called. "Aye" is pronounced the same way as the letter "i" and "''i''" is the mathematical value of the square root of negative one, which can be used to represent an {{w|imaginary number}}.

The title text of this comic draws attention to the fact that there are a number of notable people who have become famous as cartoonists, but also hold degrees in physics or have a strong interest in physics. This might seem unusual, because the average person might see physics and art as incompatible, and this is why Randall writes "an oddly large number." These people include:
* Randall Munroe, the writer of xkcd, has a degree in physics from Christopher Newport University.
* Bill Amend, the creator of [http://www.foxtrot.com/ Foxtrot], majored in physics at Amherst College.
* Zach Weinersmith, who writes the webcomic [http://www.smbc-comics.com/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal], majored in physics at San Jose State University.
* Henry Reich is the creator of the web video series [http://www.youtube.com/user/minutephysics MinutePhysics], and studied physics and mathematics at Grinnell College.
* Paul G. Hewitt is a physicist and [http://www.conceptualphysics.com/ author of physics textbooks]. His textbooks contain a number of cartoons, drawn by Hewitt himself, to help illustrate physics concepts.
* Arryn Diaz writes the webcomic [http://dresdencodak.com/ Dresden Codak], and majored in physics (among several other things) before dropping out. Her comics frequently reference ideas and experiments in physics.
* Larry Gonick is a cartoonist who has published [http://www.harpercollins.co.uk/search-results?contributor=larry-gonick a number of educational comic books], including The Cartoon Guide to Physics.
* Bud Grace, the creator of the comic [http://piranhaclubcomics.com/ Piranha Club] (previously known as Ernie) holds a PhD in nuclear physics. He has been making the comic since 1988.
* Darren 'Gav' Bleuel, the creator of [http://nukees.com/ Nukees], is himself a nuclear engineer.

''Guest Week'' was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.<br>
The five comics are:
*[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
*[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
*[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
*[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
*[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]

==Transcript==
:[Jason from FoxTrot is sitting at an artist's desk with a pencil, holding a phone.]
:Jason: Hi, Mr. Munroe? I have a great idea! Let me draw some strips for you!
:Randall, through the telephone: Fat chance, kid.

:[Zoom in to Jason.]
:Jason: Sudo let me draw some strips for you.

:[The following are transcripts of three strips.]

:[Cueball and Ponytail are looking at each other. Ponytail has some hearts floating next to her head.]
:Cueball: I find you more attractive than usual.
:Ponytail: You do? Is it my new haircut?

:[Zoom in to Cueball.]
:Cueball: Actually, I think it's all the weight you've been putting on. Your gravitational pull is pretty severe.

:[Cueball is now alone in the panel.]
:Cueball: Just sayin'.

:[Two people are in a living room. The woman is looking through a chest of drawers.]
:Caption: At home with the Heisenbergs
:Mrs. Heisenberg: I can't find my car keys.
:Mr. Heisenberg: You probably know too much about their momentum.

:[Congress is in session. The Speaker is standing on stage in front of an American Flag hanging by an ionic column, holding up a gavel. Seven Members of Congress are seen in front of the stage: a Cueball, a Hairbun, a man with glasses, a woman with long hair, and three more Cueballs. The first, fourth, and sixth members have their hands raised.]
:Caption: Why mathematicians should run for Congress
:Speaker: All those in favor of the bill say "aye."
:Congressman #1: Aye.
:Congresswoman #2: Aye.
:Congress–Mathematician: √-1

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Guest Week]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

2936: Exponential Growth

2026-04-16T01:20:03Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 2936
| date = May 22, 2024
| title = Exponential Growth
| image = exponential_growth_2x.png
| imagesize = 545x264px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Karpov's construction of a series of increasingly large rice cookers led to a protracted deadlock, but exponential growth won in the end.
}}

==Explanation==

In this strip, Black Hat begins by demonstrating {{w|exponential growth}}, using a variation of the {{w|wheat and chessboard problem}}, a classic demonstration of this mathematical principle. Exponential growth involves an initial quantity being multiplied repeatedly by a constant larger than one. Small numbers can grow faster than our intuition anticipates. This principle is important in a number of real life applications, ranging from biological growth to {{w|inflation}} to reaction kinetics.

The earliest versions of this story come from India and involve a man (the inventor of {{w|chess}}, in some tellings), being offered a reward by a king, and asking that a single grain of wheat (rice, in some versions) be placed on the first square of a chessboard, two on the second, and each subsequent square having twice as many grains as the one before. In the story, the king generally laughs off such a reward as being trivial, but soon learns that the reward would be impossible to pay. Since a chessboard contains 64 squares, the final square would contain 2<sup>63</sup> (9,223,372,036,854,775,808) grains. This would be around 600 billion tonnes of wheat (which, even in modern times, would be centuries of global wheat production).

In some versions of the story, the man is executed for embarrassing the king and for being over-greedy; in others, he is rewarded for his cleverness; in yet others, he becomes king himself as a consequence. There are also other versions that [https://www.comedy.co.uk/radio/finnemore_souvenir_programme/episodes/7/5/ subvert the well-known tale] by the king not being so naïve as to fall for the 'trick' played by the creator of the problem.

[[Black Hat]] initially appears to be using this example, to demonstrate a mathematical principle, but actually turns out to be using it to "win" a chess match by covering the chess board in rice until his opponent quits out of frustration. Naturally, despite his claims that it's "nearly impossible to counter", under the International Chess Federation ({{w|FIDE}})'s [https://www.fide.com/FIDE/handbook/LawsOfChess.pdf Laws of Chess], this would be illegal on several levels, as deliberately distracting or annoying your opponent is a violation, as is deliberately displacing the chess pieces. Black Hat, being the chaotic [[classhole]] that he is, likely simply doesn't care, and counts it as a win when his opponent [[Hairy]] stomps off out of annoyance.

{{w|Garry Kasparov}} and {{w|Anatoly Karpov}} are both Russian chess grandmasters and former world champions. The two men famously competed for the world championship in the 1980s. The Kasparov gambit is a famous gambit that Kasparov played multiple times (but not, as Black Hat's is, something that can be played very early in the game). The title text implies that Kasparov actually tried Black Hat's method on Karpov, who attempted to consume all the rice with "increasingly large rice cookers", but eventually couldn't keep up. While this is obviously fictional,{{cn}} it fits with the principle of exponential growth. If exponential growth is unrestricted, it will eventually grow beyond the constraints of anything that could plausibly be built to contain it.

In any case, it appears that in his enthusiasm to enact his scheme, Black Hat has neglected to even set up his own pieces (or they have already been completely buried), never mind wait for the game to commence, so Hairy has nothing to resign from - indeed his king still appears to be standing as he walks away, so he may be only assumed to have resigned/defaulted due to competition rules that cover various circumstances in which one may leave the playing area (but, apparently, nothing too restrictive about bringing in sacks of rice).

Another unusual Kasparov gambit is mentioned in [[3082: Chess Position]].

==Math==

The amount of rice collected on each square of the chess board is listed below. It all sums up to around 400 billion tons (or {{w|tonne}}s, the various distinctions being not so important), taking each grain as weighing approximately 0.02 grams. This is 500 times the annual world production.

The last day, alone, would require 200 billion tons. But the implicit nature of this doubling is that the amount of rice you put on at any stage is exactly equal to the amount of rice already on the board ''plus one extra grain''. So there were around 200 billion tons already, before the last square required a virtually identical additional amount.

* First row:
** a1: 1 grain
** a2: 2 grains
** a3: 4 ...
** a4: 8
** a5: 16
** a6: 32
** a7: 64
** a8: 128
* Second row
** b1: 256
** b2: 512
** b3: 1,024
** b4: 2,048
** b5: 4,096
** b6: 8,192
** b7: 16,384
** b8: 32,768
* First column of third to seventh rows
** c1: 65,536 grains (~ 1 kg)
** d1: 16,777,216 (~ 400 kg)
** e1: 4,294,967,296 (~ 100 tons)
** f1: 1,099,511,627,776 (~ 25,000 tons)
** g1: 281,474,976,710,656 (~ 6 million tons)
* Eighth row, in detail
** h1: 72,057,594,037,927,936 (~ 1.5 billion tons, more than the 2022 world harvest)
** h2: 144,115,188,075,855,872
** h3: 288,230,376,151,711,744
** h4: 576,460,752,303,423,488
** h5: 1,152,921,504,606,846,976
** h6: 2,305,843,009,213,693,952
** h7: 4,611,686,018,427,387,904
** h8: 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 (~ 200 billion tons)
* Total: 18,446,744,073,709,551,615

[https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e7/Wheat_Chessboard_with_line.svg Example on the chessboard (SVG diagram)]

==Transcript==

:[Black Hat is talking to Cueball standing next to him, arm raised.]
:Black Hat: Exponential growth is very powerful.

:[Closeup on Black Hat. Next to him is an image of the lower left part of a chessboard. The four leftmost squares in the bottom row have grains of rice on them -- one, two, four, and eight grains respectively.]
:Black Hat: A chessboard has 64 squares.
:Black Hat: Say you put one grain of rice on the first square, then two grains on the second, then four, then eight, doubling each time.

:[Black Hat has emptied a bag of rice on a chessboard. There are two additional bags next to him, each labeled "Rice", and a pile of rice already on the table. Some rice has spilled off, and a small pile of rice is growing at Black Hat's feet. A frustrated Hairy is walking away, fists clenched. On Hairy's side of the chessboard there is a white king and pawn.]
:[Caption above panel, representing Black Hat continuing to speak:]
:If you keep this up, your opponent will resign in frustration.
:It's called Kasparov's Grain Gambit. Nearly impossible to counter.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Chess]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

3233: Make It Myself

2026-04-16T01:00:36Z

1234231587678: what am i missing??? what is 46????

{{comic
| number = 3233
| date = April 15, 2026
| title = Make It Myself
| image = make_it_myself_2x.png
| imagesize = 284x438px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It's not as big a loss as it looks, because now I have have leftover supplies, which will help me talk myself into doing this all over again with a new project!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created BY A BOT MADE WITH 20 MINUTES OF CODING, 30 MINUTES OF TROUBLESHOOTING, ANOTHER HOUR OF CODING, AND A SUBSCRIPTION TO CURSOR. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
There are many people who complain about the retail price of items (especially, but not only, after rising prices such as with the trend of high rates of inflation occuring at around the time of this comic). People sometimes claim that they could make something themselves, thinking it will be quick and easy. Instead, Cueball reflects real life by listing the actual effort he would expend on such a project. In total, Cueball spends $60 (and 5-6 hours of "labor") creating his replacement, and then ends up just buying the one in the store because his {{w|do it yourself|do-it-yourself}} replacement breaks sooner than the engineered product. This means that Cueball actually lost $60 on this venture, as well as at least a few hours and several trips to the store. And most people aren't as technically capable as Cueball (or as [[:Category:Cueball's computer problems|irrationally confident]] as Cueball is about his technical capabilities), so may not even be able to ''start'' to consider the self-built item.

The title text has Cueball compensating for his losses by deluding himself into believing that the leftover supplies will help him with a future project. This could be the case depending on the supplies. When deciding whether to do work personally versus paying for a product or service, a common dilemma is that the DIY approach requires specialized tools and/or buying a larger amount of material than one will need. There may not be a future personal project requiring a specialized drill bit or leftover screws, in which case the leftovers will gather dust until they are thrown out or sold off at a steep discount. If Cueball was determined enough to put the leftovers to use, he might offer to create improved versions of his solution for other people, gradually amortizing the up-front costs and ultimately creating a competing product years later. Barring major cost-saving innovations, that new product might end up costing a similar amount to the original. If the original's price was inflated, the two products might drive down each other's prices through competition.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Cueball and White Hat stand together looking at two boxes on the right side of the frame. Cueball is holding his arms out toward the boxes.]

:Cueball: They want $80 for this?
:Cueball: I could make one myself for $10 in parts, an hour of work, a trip to the hardware store, another $30 in parts, another few hours of work, two more trips to the store for $20 more in parts, another hour to redo the first hour of work because I messed up, and $80 to buy this when the one I made breaks.
{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category: Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Comics featuring White Hat]]

1428: Move Fast and Break Things

2026-04-15T19:20:12Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1428
| date = October 1, 2014
| title = Move Fast and Break Things
| image = move_fast_and_break_things.png
| titletext = I was almost fired from a job driving the hearse in funeral processions, but then the funeral home realized how much business I was creating for them.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] appears to be at a job interview, proudly stating his motto to the interviewer [[Ponytail]]. "Move fast and break things" is a saying common in science and engineering industries. In that context, it means that making mistakes is a natural consequence of innovation in a highly competitive and complex environment. In particular, it was adopted by Mark Zuckerberg at Facebook (who even went as far as to say that [https://www.businessinsider.com/mark-zuckerberg-2010-10 'breaking things' is a necessary feature of moving 'fast enough']).

While in software development it is unusual for any great harm to result from breaking things, the jobs listed in the comic are ones where there are serious consequences of mistakes. Some would result in dangerous or deadly situations, while others would just end up with broken packages etc. It's not clear what job Cueball is interviewing for; one suspects it's probably one that belongs in the 'breaking things is bad' group. The results of moving fast and breaking things for the listed jobs might include:

*{{w|FedEx}} driver - Injured/killed pedestrians, collisions with other vehicles, broken & damaged packages
*Crane operator - Damage or destruction of load, dropping loads on people below, damage to crane
*Surgeon - Incorrect operations performed, removing wrong body parts, damaging expensive medical equipment, death of the patient, or in {{w|Robert_Liston#Liston's_most_famous_case|extreme cases}}, the death of assistants and spectators as well
*Air traffic controller - Air collisions, travel disruption, chaos
*Pharmacist - Handing out wrong drugs, resulting in illness or death, or destroying them
*Museum curator - Damage or destruction of items of historical or artistic significance, damage to the museum
*Waiter - Crockery broken, drinks or food spilled on customers, food tipped over people, possible injuries to self and others when hot food is involved
*Dog walker - Injuring the pet, or preventing it from fulfilling its bodily functions (the major reason for a walk)
*Oil tanker captain - Collisions between vessels, or tanker and port, or running aground, leading to oil spills and casualties
*Violinist - Ruining an ensemble's performance by playing too fast (with a higher tempo than other musicians), breaking the strings or body of the instrument
*Mars rover driver - Breaking an incredibly important vehicle, preventing further exploration, and ruining an extremely expensive mission
*Massage therapist - Injuring the client. Possibly also breaking the seat the client is on, leading to even more costly damages.

The title text posits a morbid scenario where Cueball keeps running over funeral attendees, generating the need for more funerals.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits in a chair, leaning back with his arm resting on the back of the chair during a job interview. Ponytail is sitting in a chair behind her desk which is between them.]
:Cueball: My motto is "Move fast and break things."
:[Below the panel follows a list:]
:'''Jobs I've been'''
:'''<u>fired from</u>'''
:Fedex driver
:Crane operator
:Surgeon
:Air traffic controller
:Pharmacist
:Museum curator
:Waiter
:Dog walker
:Oil tanker captain
:Violinist
:Mars rover driver
:Massage therapist

==Trivia==
* This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20211215032205/https://store.xkcd.com/products/move-fast-and-break-things available as a mug] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].
* This is not the last time Cueball was fired, as seen in [[1852: Election Map]]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Mars rovers]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

3125: Snake-in-the-Box Problem

2026-04-13T00:21:51Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3125
| date = August 6, 2025
| title = Snake-in-the-Box Problem
| image = snake_in_the_box_problem_2x.png
| imagesize = 359x611px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Chemistry grad students have been spotted trying to lure campus squirrels into laundry hampers in the hope that it sparks inspiration.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic makes fun of the fact that many fields of math and science use analogies to help visualize complex problems. One such analogy, drawn in the comic, involves a snake on the edges of an n-dimensional hypercube, which is a real problem in graph theory called {{w|snake-in-the-box}}. In this problem, a snake is coiled around the edges of an ''n''-dimensional hypercube. No two adjacent corners of the cube can be occupied by non-consecutive parts of the snake (i.e., the snake can't come near itself). The problem involves finding the longest snake for a box of a given dimension. This problem has been solved up to an 8-dimensional cube, but remains unsolved for 9 dimensions and up. (The proper name for this problem, as stated in [https://oeis.org/A099155 OEIS A099155], is "Maximum length of a simple path with no chords in the n-dimensional hypercube" but, as the entry acknowledges, "snake-in-the-box problem" is the name commonly used for it.) Because a common way to formulate hypercubes is as a graph of N-tuples (each corner has N coordinates, each a 0 or 1 - for example, a {{w|Square|2-cube}} has vertices (0,0), (0,1), (1,0), (1,1) - and edges are drawn between vertices differing only in one coordinate), and this problem in particular pertains to connecting edges between vertices, this comic considers the problem to be an example of this phenomenon for the mathematical field of graph theory.

The other thought experiment alluded to is {{w|Schrödinger's cat}}, which is used in quantum physics. In this thought experiment, a cat is put in a box which contains poison, a radioactive source and a {{w|Geiger counter}}. This aims to illustrate an apparent paradox in the principle of {{w|quantum superposition}} — a property of quantum mechanics in which objects can exist in two apparently incompatible states simultaneously, so long as no attempt is made to verify which state they are in. If an atom of the radioactive source decays, the poison is released, and the cat dies, tying its fate to the radioactive decay. Since radioactive decay obeys quantum mechanics, so long as the particle is not observed it will exist in a superposition of two states: decayed and not decayed. Therefore, the cat, too, may be considered to exist in a superposition of two states (alive and not alive) which appears to be absurd. The opening of the box collapses the superposition so that only one of those states remains.

The comic jokes that these two "cute animal in a box" thought experiments are instances of a universal rule that applies to every field of study. Other fields have simply yet to "discover" their own analogies. Whether a snake counts as a "cute animal", that would satisfy the "rule" is likely to occasion some debate.

The title text takes this further by claiming that chemistry students have been trying to fix the lack of cute-animal-in-box thought experiments in their field by attempting to trap a squirrel with a laundry basket. This is possibly a reference to {{w|endohedral fullerene}} complexes, where an ion or atom is caged inside a spherical structure of carbon. Those students seem to hope that it will inspire them in some way, maybe similarly to what is depicted in [[1584: Moments of Inspiration]].

==Trivia==
The comic number 3125, being equal to 5<sup>5</sup>, is itself representable in terms of a (5-dimensional) box.

==Transcript==
:[A panel with text both above and below the illustration, with further text below the panel.]
:[In the panel, above the illustration:]
:A snake slithers around a hypercube. No two non-consecutive parts of its coils can be on adjacent corners.
:[Three small illustrations of 4-dimensional hypercubes, each with a snake slithering around its edges. Each illustration has a red line or lines indicating an edge or edges where two non-consecutive parts of the snake are on adjacent corners. Below each hypercube is a red X.]
:[A large illustration depicting a 4-dimensional hypercube with a snake slithering around its edges.]
:[Below the large illustration is text printed in green. To the left of the text is a green checkmark.]
:Dimensions=4
:Max length=7
:[The following text is printed in black, except for the last word "UNSOLVED" which is printed in red:]
:Snake(N) = Largest snake that can fit in an N-dimensional hypercube
:Snake(N=1, 2, 3 .. 8) = 1, 2, 4, 7, 13, 26, 50, 98
:Snake(N>8) = UNSOLVED

:[Text below the panel:]
:It turns out every scientific field has a key thought experiment that involves putting a cute animal in a weird box for no reason.
:So far, quantum mechanics and graph theory have found theirs, but most other fields are still working on it.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Cats]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]

3175: Website Task Flowchart

2026-04-10T15:27:04Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3175
| date = December 1, 2025
| title = Website Task Flowchart
| image = website_task_flowchart_2x.png
| imagesize = 333x683px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Tired of waiting on hold? Use our website to chat with one of our live agents, who are available to produce words at you 24/7!
}}

==Explanation==
This is a flowchart comic. It ostensibly shows how to accomplish a task on a generic website. With the improvements to web infrastructure, {{w|accessibility}}, and {{w|user experience}} research over the decades, one might think that this would be simple. And sometimes, indeed, everything just works as expected. However, the flowchart indicates that this system often fails to handle error states gracefully and can {{wiktionary|a chain is only as strong as its weakest link|completely shut down}} when the smallest [[2347: Dependency|dependency]] breaks.

The first step is to try to access the website. This includes {{w|Loading (computing)|pulling it up}}, and possibly {{w|Login|signing into an account}}. Websites may have legitimate or [[792: Password Reuse|nefarious]] reasons to profile their users. Either way, it is often another step in the way of the user's goals.

The very start of the process can already fail if the website doesn't load, you enter an incorrect username or password, or the website's {{w|authentication}} service is having problems and rejecting legitimate credentials, for example. Issues at this stage are often out of the user's control, and can kneecap your productivity if you rely on that website, as was recently discussed in [[3170: Service Outage]]. The flowchart provides no specific {{w|troubleshooting}} guidance, as the exact steps will vary greatly depending on the specific problem, and readers may have their own troubleshooting process similar to [[627: Tech Support Cheat Sheet]]. It could involve visiting another website like "[https://www.isitdownrightnow.com Is It Down Right Now?]" to see if others are having the same issue, double-checking your login information, or looking up any specific error messages the site gives. You may simply have to wait until the broken service is restored.

If you can enter the website, the next part of the flowchart asks if you finished your task successfully. If you have managed to both log in and do your work (perhaps eventually), it simply congratulates you for finishing your task. Failure here could be because of other issues with the website, such as {{w|Software bug|bugs}}, or [[3170: Service Outage|service outages]] in the middle of your work, or simply because the site doesn't have the tools to accomplish your specific task. You may have to use tools that ''are'' available in alternative or creative ways to accomplish what you need to. This might not be an option if your data or workflow relies on a specific site, or if alternatives are sketchy or paywalled.

As the flowchart suggests, troubleshooting a website can be a major deviation from your goals, and can involve following many false leads for hours on end. There's a chance that the issue resolves, putting you back on track. But in the meantime, you're trying to find a solution on your own. According to the chart, talking to tech support is a last resort.

If your troubleshooting fails at either stage, the chart guides you to call the website's {{w|customer service}} line, which is framed as admitting defeat. The flowchart reckons that an {{w|Automated attendant|automated}} phone system will put you {{w|Hold (telephone)|on hold}} and a {{w|On hold messaging|prerecorded message}} will then suggest trying to use the website ''instead'' of calling directly. While this would be helpful for someone calling the support line ''before'' trying the website, it assumes that the site is working properly and that the task can actually be accomplished there. It's like kicking you when you're already down to hear that "advice" after spending hours trying to use a website that simply would not work like you need it to. (Additionally, the voice reading out the website's URL is reading out the "www." before the URL, which is usually unnecessary in the modern day (depening upon how the web-server, host/domain entries and/or browser are set up), possibly implying that the voice on the other end belongs to someone who's slightly technologically inept.)

From there, the flowchart predicts that you will be so frustrated, you'll throw away both your computer and your phone into the sea before even listening to the rest of the on-hold message, similarly to [[1912: Thermostat]]. This would be a drastic and non-trivial way of responding to the situation, as it would destroy those devices. (It would, at least, formally end your attempt to use the website.) The flowchart presents this as an inevitability as a form of {{w|hyperbole}}.

The title text is another part of the presumed hold message, perhaps for anyone who had not followed the flowchart as faithfully. It encourages the caller to visit the website's {{w|live chat}} function, a fairly recent development that combines the best and worst aspects of both online and phone-line support. It can be ambiguous whether the "live agent" is zero, one, or many people. You may reach a qualified staff member with all the answers to your questions; or, the conversation may be passed around between various less-than-knowledgeable staff who are merely following a ''script'' with a flowchart process (hopefully more useful than this one) to let them give more expert advice than they might be capable of; or, increasingly, you may connect to a {{w|chatbot}} that processes your queries, follows a similar script, and may be more difficult to reason with or escalate the issue. It may {{wiktionary|triage}} your initial responses before 'bothering' a real human who can help you with your request, if it is able to transfer you to a human at all.

The claim that the agent can "produce words at you" (rather than "talk", "speak", or "communicate") implies that their responses won't convey any information, or perhaps even basic understanding of the problem. If the live chat is open 24/7, you may reach a human agent elsewhere in the world who {{w|English as a second or foreign language|doesn't speak English natively}} and struggles to understand you. This could also be a blatantly honest admission that you will converse with a potentially inexhaustible {{w|large language model}} AI, where the words you receive might demonstrate {{w|Markov chain|even less understanding}} of your problem, as merely being able to send even [[1068: Swiftkey|vaguely logical sequences of words]] might be worse than useless. Additionally, giving random vague sequences of words would add to the user's frustration, strengthening their urge to throw their laptop into the ocean.

==Transcript==
[Caption above the panel:]
Doing a task using a company or organization's website:

[Below this is a flowchart, starting with "Go to website, try to log in"]

[Box 1 (start):] Go to website, try to log in (go to to box 2)

[Box 2:] Did it work? (Yes/No)
*Yes: Go to box 3
*No: Go to box 6

[Box 3:] Try to do your task (go to box 4)

[Box 4:] Did it work? (Yes/No)
*Yes: Go to box 5
*No: Go to box 8

[Box 5 (end):] Nice! Done!

[Box 6:] Spend hours troubleshooting account/login (go to box 7)

[Box 7:] Did it work? (Yes/No)
*Yes: Go to box 3
*No: Go to box 10

[Box 8:] Spend hours troubleshooting website (go to box 9)

[Box 9:] Did it work? (Yes/No)
*Yes: Go to box 5
*No: Go to box 10

[Box 10:] Give up and call customer service (go to box 11)

[Box 11:] Hold message: "Did you know you could do all of this more quickly and easily on our website? Just go to W-W-W dot..." (go to box 12)

[Box 12 (end):] Throw phone and laptop into the sea
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Internet]]

1206: Einstein

2026-04-10T05:00:36Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1206
| date = May 1, 2013
| title = Einstein
| image = einstein.png
| titletext = Einstein was WRONG when he said that provisional patent #39561 represented a novel gravel-sorting technique and should be approved by the Patent Office.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic [[Randall]] is playing with the notion that since Einstein contributed so much to society, and many of his works have withstood testing, disproving Einstein must be a difficult task. This is proven false by taking a mundane declaration by Einstein and proving it false with a simple task.

Nobel laureate and ''Time'' Person of the Century [[Albert Einstein]] is often considered one of the smartest and most influential people in world history. His theories have revolutionized our understanding of the universe and inspired generations of scientists. In this comic, [[Cueball]] indicates to a friend that he is working on an experiment that may disprove Einstein. The implication is that Cueball is conducting a serious scientific experiment which may disprove one of Einstein's scientific theories. The second frame, however, implies that the Einsteinian "theory" Cueball's experiment may disprove is an offhand (and subjective) remark by Einstein about the availability of good sandwiches; this is not to mention the possible changing in quality of said sandwiches over time.

The experiment Cueball is "currently conducting" probably refers to the fact that he is currently eating a sandwich, and if that sandwich was indeed a good one, Einstein would be proved wrong. Part of the humor here is that Cueball's friend probably assumes that when Cueball says "currently," he means the experiment is part of Cueball's work, not what he is doing at that exact moment. In [[947: Investing]], Randall comments on how people put too much credence in a joke Einstein made in passing, and in [[799: Stephen Hawking]] we see {{w|Stephen Hawking}} in a similar predicament, every word he says taken as a major declaration.

The title text demonstrates the ability to "disprove" Einstein while not challenging his scientific work but rather one of his decisions in his capacity as a patent clerk at the Swiss Patent Office at the time he published his first major papers (previously alluded to in [[1067: Pressures]]). According to [https://www.ige.ch/en/about-us/the-history-of-the-ipi/einstein/faq the Einstein FAQ] on the Swiss Federal Institute of Intellectual Property's website, patent #39561 is one of several patents that "we can assume ... were personally examined by Einstein". A PDF of the patent, which was indeed a gravel sorter ({{w|trommel}}), can be found [http://web.archive.org/web/20150326212744/https://www.ige.ch/fileadmin/user_upload/Institut/d/i109401.pdf here] in German.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and friend eating at a table.]
:Cueball: I'm currently conducting an experiment which may prove Einstein wrong!
:Friend: Ooh, exciting!

:[Caption: 1947:]
:[Einstein and Cueball walking.]
:Einstein: It's ''impossible'' to find a good sandwich in this town.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Albert Einstein]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

2691: Encryption

2026-04-09T00:58:50Z

1234231587678: why use / when you can use or

{{comic
| number = 2691
| date = October 28, 2022
| title = Encryption
| image = encryption_2x.png
| imagesize = 235x380px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = WARNING: PEOPLE NAMED EVE ARE PROHIBITED FROM INSTALLING THIS APP!
}}

==Explanation==

When teaching encryption or cryptography, it is common to use a story about sending messages from {{w|Alice and Bob|Alice to Bob}} (Party "A" and Party "B" respectively). Cueball claims to have created a texting app that only allows for this one thing. It does not, however, allow "Bob" to reply, making the usefulness of the app questionable at best. It is unclear how it enforces the name restriction, but it is possible that the app figures out the name of the phone's owner. The title text mentions Eve, who in the typical story represents an "eavesdropper", someone who attempts to intercept the messages between Alice and Bob. The fact that persons named Eve are 'forbidden' from installing the app suggests that it might not actually be as secure as Cueball advertises -- it may be that he naively thinks that it's just the name that makes the eavesdropper, and that by excluding all Eves, Alice's messages to Bob will remain private. It is not clear which phones will support this app, but it appears to be perfectly suited for the [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phones]].

The comics [[177: Alice and Bob]] and [[1323: Protocol]] are also about Alice and Bob.

Even if the assumption that you could divine people's roles and motives from their names were correct, if the names of the users don't need to be verified, it seems possible for a bad actor to circumvent the security features of the app by simply lying about their name. Genuine users could also undermine the security with double installations and a complete mess of a contact list in which everyone's names are somehow identified as "Alice" or "Bob", in order to increase its utility to them. Also, it would appear that "Bob" needn't be the commonly used name of the message receiver, in this scenario – it could also be a diminutive of what he is actually known by. Thus a user might claim to be "Bob" whichever his given name is.

This may be related to the announcement that {{w|Signal (software)|Signal}} would be discontinuing support for SMS/MMS messages.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball showing a phone to a long-haired woman, identified in the caption as Alice]
:Cueball: The app will let you send messages to your friend Robert, or my brother.
:Alice: Can they reply?
:Cueball: No.

:[Caption below the panel]:
:My new secure texting app only allows people named Alice to send messages to people named Bob.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Cryptography]]
[[Category: Smartphones]]

1643: Degrees

2026-04-08T14:00:18Z

1234231587678: what is this kerning

{{comic
| number = 1643
| date = February 15, 2016
| title = Degrees
| image = degrees.png
| titletext = "Radians Fahrenheit or radians Celsius?" "Uh, sorry, gotta go!"
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] (possibly representing [[Randall]]) is being asked by a friend for the {{w|temperature}}. While he is checking his smartphone for the weather, he begins pondering what unit he should use when answering the question. (See below for [[#Cueball's reasoning|Cueball's reasoning]].)

In the US (where Cueball and [[Randall]] are from), the {{w|Conversion of units of temperature|temperature scale}} used in daily life is {{w|Fahrenheit}}. However, most of the rest of the world uses {{w|Celsius}} in daily life, and even in the US it is commonly used for science. This is also why Randall has previously made the comic [[526: Converting to Metric]]. There are also people who wish the US to change to the metric system, although some of them still wish to keep the Fahrenheit scale as mentioned in [[1982: Evangelism]]

:'''The Celsius scale''' is from the {{w|metric system}}. Though this system has been officially sanctioned for use in the US since 1866, it is not frequently used in daily American life (except for some things, like liter bottles of soda), although it is the preferred system for trade and commerce according to the {{w|Metric Conversion Act}} of 1975. The US remains the only industrialized country, and one of few countries period, that does not use the metric system for everyday measurements, and in which official government documents and signage do not enforce metric units. The unit ''degree Celsius'' or °C is an accepted {{w|International System of Units#Derived units|derived unit}} from the {{w|International System of Units}} (SI units) used in science (which again is the modern form of the metric system). The SI unit of temperature is the {{w|kelvin}}, but this temperature scale just differs from the Celsius scale by a constant shift (273.15).
:'''The Fahrenheit scale''' is from the {{w|United States customary units|US customary system}} and the (British) {{w|Imperial units|imperial system}}. The unit is ''degree Fahrenheit'' or °F, and the relation to the Celsius scale is not easy to find in a mental calculation. The relations are: [°F] = [°C] × 9 ⁄ 5 + 32 or [°C] = ([°F] − 32) × 5 ⁄ 9. (For this exact reason Randall has previously made a helpful table for these situations in [[526: Converting to Metric]].)

Unlike most areas of measurement, where the metric system is widely considered superior, there is considerable debate about the relative merits of Fahrenheit vs. Celsius. Cueball weighs up the benefits of both scales, but fails to find a solution he can live with, and since he feels he has to give his friend an answer now, he panics and gives the answer 0.173 {{w|radians}}.
:'''Radian''' is the standard unit of angular measure, used in many areas of mathematics. An angle's measurement in radians is numerically equal to the length of a corresponding arc of a {{w|unit circle}}. It has no units and is denoted with the superscript <sup>c</sup>, but more commonly <sup>rad</sup>, lest it be confused with {{w|Degree (angle)|angular degrees}}. One radian is an angle of approximately 57.3 degrees.
:'''Angular degrees''' is a system used to measure {{w|angles}} in {{w|geometry}}, and although it too uses the symbol ° and the word "degrees", it has nothing to do with temperature measurements of any sort. Potentially he is referring to a monitor on his phone that is giving him data on which he is deliberating.

Thus, this answer is unhelpful and the joke is that traditionally both geometric angles and temperature are measured in "degrees", but there is no connection between the two. The Fahrenheit/Celsius debate was later referenced in [[1923: Felsius]].

The title text indicates that Cueball's friend still wants to know whether the answer is in radians Fahrenheit or radians Celsius, which, despite being a silly way to express temperature, would actually enable the friend to get some meaning out of the reply. But this just takes Cueball back to the problem he failed to solve in the first place of choosing one scale in preference to the other, so suddenly he announces has to go and runs off without ever clarifying what he meant. This result is probably because he is afraid of being a bad friend according to his very last point regarding Fahrenheit: ''Valuing unit standardization over being helpful possibly makes me a bad friend.''

The answer Cueball gives of 0.173 radians corresponds to a geometric angle 9.91° (0.173 × <sup>360°</sup>/<sub>2π</sub>). If this were "radians Celsius" it would be 9.91 °C corresponding to 49.8 °F and if it were "radians Fahrenheit" it would be 9.91 °F corresponding to -12.3 °C. Whilst the former may sound more reasonable, [http://boston.cbslocal.com/2016/02/13/new-england-freezing-temperatures-valentines-day-weekend/ given the temperatures] in {{w|Massachusetts}} (where Randall lives) when this comic came out, the day after Valentine's Day 2016, Cueball was probably giving his answer in radians Fahrenheit.

=== Cueball's reasoning ===
==== Degrees Celsius ====
;International standard
:Degrees Celsius is derived unit in the SI system of units used to measure temperature in most countries today. Using the SI system would allow Cueball to be easily understood in most countries and is by far the most recognized system, but it is not the most commonly used in the United States, his presumed location in the comic.
;Helps reduce America's weird isolationism
:The United States uses its own set of units, including degrees Fahrenheit, called the {{w|United States customary system}} (similar but not equal to the imperial system), in contrast to most of the rest of the world, which uses the SI system. The US's system of units is therefore considered "weird" as it makes the US different from most of the world, but previous efforts to convert the US to the SI system have failed. Cueball evidently believes that by using SI units, he will help to eventually convert the US to the SI system, bringing considerable trade and tourism benefits and reducing confusion when dealing with foreigners.
;Nice how "negative" means below freezing
:On the Celsius scale, the freezing point of water at standard atmospheric pressure (101.325 kilopascals) is very close to 0 °C, and any temperature below that is below the freezing point. The Fahrenheit scale uses different points of reference (using a water/ammonium chloride chemical reaction for the lower calibration, while the upper calibration is set such that water freezing and water boiling are 180 degrees apart), and as a result the freezing point of water is a less memorable 32 °F.
;Physics major loyalty
:Cueball is apparently a physics major, like Randall, and SI units are more commonly used for scientific work (as the kelvin scale is sometimes used in physics and other sciences), even in the US. By using the Celsius scale in casual conversation, he would show his loyalty to the system used by actual physicists.
;Easier to spell
:"Celsius" is generally considered to be an easier word to spell than the German surname "Fahrenheit" (at least this is the case for Cueball, but not necessarily for those who more commonly use Fahrenheit than Celsius). In this case the word is being spoken and the point is not immediately relevant, but part of the joke is that Cueball is overthinking things and worrying about the general use of the word when an answer is needed in this specific case.
;We lost a Mars probe over this crap
:The {{w|Mars Climate Orbiter|Mars Climate Orbiter}} disintegrated in Mars' atmosphere because Lockheed used US customary units instead of the contractually specified metric units. This had nothing to do with temperature scales, but was the use of the unit pound-seconds where newton-seconds should have been used. This was a great and tragic loss for science in general, Mars exploration in particular, and thus also for Randall who would join NASA a few years later ([[:Category:Mars rovers|Mars rovers]] and probes are a frequent topic on ''xkcd'').

====Degrees Fahrenheit====
;0 °F to 100 °F good match for temperature range in which most humans live
:In the context of air temperature, 0 °F and 100 °F correspond to "just about as cold as it gets" and "just about as hot as it gets" in temperate zones, thereby making Fahrenheit a useful temperature scale for weather reporting where most people live. By contrast, in Celsius a range of common temperatures in temperate zones is -20 °C to 40 °C, which is a less intuitive range for those used to the Fahrenheit scale.
;Rounds more usefully (70's, 90's)
:An argument sometimes heard for the continued use of Fahrenheit temperatures is that each 10 degrees change is meaningful in how we feel the temperature. Thus, it is convenient to talk about the temperature being in the 70's today, or in the 90's, etc. Since the Celsius degrees are almost twice as large, a similar statement about the temperature being in the 20's or 30's is not as useful, unless more precision is added by using phrases like low 20's or high 30's. However, this seems likely to be more a matter of which scale you are used to using than anything inherent in one scale or the other.
;Unit-aware computing makes imperial less annoying
:If you need to constantly convert between imperial and SI measurements in your head, or even between different imperial units (e.g., ounces and pounds), it gets annoying and is a strong argument for everyone using metric measurements all the time. But when it is easy to get the temperature - or any other measurement - reported in whatever units you want just by selecting the units you want your computer to report, then the annoyance is minimized, and the arguments for why we should stop using a familiar scale are weakened. Note that Cueball is looking at his smart-phone to get the current temperature.
:As with many Americans, Randall is treating the {{w|United States customary units|United States customary system}} as identical to the {{w|imperial system}} as previously used in most of the rest of the English speaking world. They have many commonalites, and both systems have temperature measured in degrees Fahrenheit, but also differ in some ways (especially with certain units of volume).
;SI prefixes are less relevant for temperatures
:One of the nice things about SI measurements is how the same basic unit scales by factors of 10 with common prefixes - e.g., kilometer, millimeter, kilogram, milligram, etc. Imperial measurements don't have this feature - you don't talk about long distances as kiloinches or small weights as millipounds. But, we generally don't use multiple units for atmospheric temperature (millidegrees or kilodegrees), so this argument for using SI measurements for length, mass, volume, etc., isn't as applicable for temperature scales.
;Fahrenheit is likely more clear in this context
:The fact that Cueball is having this conflict at all implies that the conversation is taking place in America, presumably between Americans. Given that, and given that the discussion is about the weather, the typical assumption is that temperatures will be given in Fahrenheit, unless specified otherwise. An answer in Fahrenheit is therefore likely to be easily understood, while an answer in Celsius risks being confusing, or even incomprehensible.
;Valuing unit standardization over being helpful possibly makes me a bad friend
:The final thing Cueball considers is to question why he would give an answer that attaches more value to promoting standardization of units when all his friend wants to know is whether it is cold or warm outside. Wouldn't it be more friendly to just answer the question the way his friend will find most convenient? This is probably the reason he ends up not giving any real answer, as giving the answer in Celsius would make him a bad friend. Panicking and giving the answer in radians makes him a weird friend, which might or might not be preferable to being a bad friend.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is looking at his smartphone while a friend calls to him from off-panel. Cueball is thinking as indicated with a thought bubble.]
:Off-screen voice: Hey, what's the temperature outside?
:Cueball (thinking): Should I give it in °F or °C?

:[Zoom in on Cueballs head with a list of reason to use Celsius above him:]
:'''Degrees Celsius'''
:* International standard
:* Helps reduce America's weird isolationism
:* Nice how "negative" means below freezing
:* Physics major loyalty
:* Easier to spell
:* We lost a Mars probe over this crap

:[Same view of Cueballs head, but wider frame to accommodate a broader a list of reason to use Fahrenheit:]
:'''Degrees Fahrenheit'''
:* 0°F to 100°F good match for temperature range in which most humans live
:* Rounds more usefully (70's, 90's)
:* Unit-aware computing makes imperial less annoying
:* SI prefixes are less relevant for temperatures
:* Fahrenheit is likely more clear in this context
:* Valuing unit standardization over being helpful possibly makes me a bad friend

:[Cueball is holding his smartphone down while thinking as indicated with another thought bubble floating at the top. He then speaks and gets a reply from his off-panel friend.]
:Cueball (thinking): Crap, gotta pick something. Uhh...
:Cueball: ...0.173 radians.
:Off-screen voice: I'll just go check myself

==Trivia==
* At -0.698 radians (-40 degrees) it would not have mattered whether it was radians Celsius or radians Fahrenheit as the two scales are equal at this point: -40 °F is the same temperature as -40 °C.

* Cueball’s friend’s last sentence does not end in punctuation. This mistake has not been fixed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]
[[Category:Weather]]

1731: Wrong

2026-04-08T13:56:49Z

1234231587678: sorry if i'm erasing something important, i just don't really understand what that was doing there .-.

{{comic
| number = 1731
| date = September 9, 2016
| title = Wrong
| image = wrong.png
| titletext = Hang on, I just remembered another thing I'm right about. See...
}}

==Explanation==
Almost all matter that we encounter in everyday life is normal matter and not {{w|antimatter}}. Atoms, once believed to be the smallest unit of matter, are now known to be made up of {{w|protons}}, {{w|neutrons}} and {{w|electrons}}. Protons and neutrons are in turn made up of {{w|quarks}}, which are fundamental particles, which are not made of other particles. Quarks come in six different "{{w|Flavour (particle physics)|flavours}}" (up, down, top, bottom, charm, and strange), with protons and neutrons being made of up and down quarks. Each flavour also has a corresponding {{w|antiparticle}}, an antiquark, which would make up antiprotons and antineutrons.

[[White Hat]] and [[Megan]] appear to be discussing the topics of antimatter and subatomic particles. White Hat asserts that people and objects are made partially of antimatter, because, as he claims, a proton (one of the particles which make up matter) is made of two quarks and an antiquark. In fact, protons are made up of two up quarks and a down quark, which is not an antiquark. He is likely making the mistake of mixing up the "up" and "down" flavours of quarks, which can be seen as complementary flavours of quarks, and mistaking them to be mutual antiparticles. He continues to elaborate on his idea by mentioning neutrons, which are made of two down quarks and an up quark.

When Megan doubts his claim, White Hat takes out his smartphone to look it up, in order to show Megan that he is correct. However, upon researching online, he realizes that he was, in fact, '''wrong''', hence the title of the comic. Unwilling to admit being incorrect or yield his position in the discussion, he convinces himself that he wasn't actually wrong, as depicted by a scribble covering his realization. Instead, he completely changes the topic to try and re-frame it in order to prove that he wasn't wrong. In this case, he circles back and criticizes the entire scientific concept of "particles", which can be seen as an attempt at a {{w|straw man}} on his part. Presumably, he will go on to explain how humans are not made of particles and quarks, but of waves.

It is rather common to be unwilling to admit fault and to instead try to maintain an air of infallibility and intelligence. Some people are just too prideful to admit that they are inherently fallible. White Hat is one of those people, as depicted in several of his earlier appearances (see [[#Trivia|trivia section]]). [[Randall]] uses this comic to criticize people who are unable to put aside their ego and re-assess what they know in the face of empirical data. Such thinking flies directly against scientific rigor, adding an extra layer of irony to the situation, since White Hat and Megan are discussing a ''scientific'' topic. This method had already been called ''wrong'' in [[803: Airfoil]].

White Hat's new topic, where he can be right, includes {{w|quantum field theory}} (QFT), a very complicated field, which is likely one Megan is not well versed in, as she was not quite sure about the anti-quarks. So he may be raising the topic because he believes she will not understand it sufficiently to refute his statements. Megan, however, recognizes exactly what he is trying to do, and can only sigh in response to his failed efforts. In QFT, particles are often described as {{w|Resonance (particle physics)|resonances}} or {{w|excited state|excited states}} of the underlying physical field, in the same way as photons may be thought of as excitations in the electromagnetic field; in this way White Hat appears to be dismissing his earlier errors by implying that particles are merely an effect of something more complex, of which he can demonstrate his knowledge. Furthermore, in quantum field theory, quarks do not exist in the conventional sense.

In the title text, White Hat just remembers another thing he's right about. This demonstrates even more clearly that he is not interested in a discussion on the merits of a topic, but instead is seeking only recognition and validation for being right. This bears some similarity to [[386: Duty Calls]], in which [[Cueball]] stays up late correcting someone on the Internet, and [[2051: Bad Opinions]], where Cueball actively seeks out people with bad opinions for him to correct.

White Hat may have incorrectly remembered that, while the valence quarks in a proton are all matter, quantum field theory says that protons also contain an indefinite number of "virtual" anti-quarks, quarks, and gluons (see the video ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraNu_78sCwv What are Quarks?]''). His final comment could be referring to the ontological debate over whether virtual particles are in some sense real or only an artefact of perturbation theory. Alternatively, he may have been confused by the fact that negatively charged quarks contribute negatively to baryon number.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat is walking beside Megan, index finger extended]
:White Hat: Really, we're all made of antimatter. A proton consists of two quarks and an antiquark.
:Megan: ...I don't think that's right.

:[White Hat stops to take out his smartphone tapping on it. Megan stops and turns towards him.]
:White Hat: Sure it is. Neutrons are, too.
:Megan: Do you mean "up" and "down" quarks? I think antiquarks are a different thing.
:White Hat: No, let me show you...
:Tap
:Tap

:[Zooming in on White Hat's head, while he is holding his phone up looking at it. He is thinking as shown with a bubbly thought bubble.]
:White Hat (thinking): I'm...wrong?

:[White Hat has lowered the phone. He is still thinking the same but the text has been scribbled out.]
:White Hat (thinking): I'm...wrong?

:[White Hat purges the thought from his mind]
:White Hat (thinking): ...

:[Similar setting as in the first panel, but in a full row wide panel, and White Hat is still holding his smartphone]
:White Hat: Really, the whole idea of "particles" is inaccurate. These are abstractions arising from quantum field theory, but what most people don't realize is...
:Megan: <small>*Sigh*</small>

==Trivia==
*This comic could be seen as a follow up to [[1605: DNA]]. Going back through the last White Hat appearances it turns out that DNA, 13 White Hat comics back, is actually the last where White Hat has been the fall guy. For instance he has the opposite role in [[1640: Super Bowl Context]], and he is not "the stupid guy" in the comics between that and this one, but often just another guy than Cueball. Further back in [[1255: Columbus]] he was again the fall guy, and again it reminds a bit about this comic. Actually Megan even begins that comic with a *sigh* like she finished this one.
*Quarks are also referenced in [[1418: Horse]], [[1621: Fixion]] and the first time they were mentioned, in [[474: Turn-On]], all six flavors were also mentioned.
*Antimatter is also referenced in [[683: Science Montage]], [[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]] and [[1621: Fixion]] as well as being the subject of the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|114|Antimatter}}''. It was also mentioned in another ''what if?'': ''{{what if|79|Lake Tea}}''.
*A similar thought process where earlier thoughts are scribbled out was used by Cueball in [[1650: Baby]], but for different reasons.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1731: Wrong

2026-04-08T13:54:26Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1731
| date = September 9, 2016
| title = Wrong
| image = wrong.png
| titletext = Hang on, I just remembered another thing I'm right about. See...
}}

==Explanation==
Almost all matter that we encounter in everyday life is normal matter and not {{w|antimatter}}. Atoms, once believed to be the smallest unit of matter, are now known to be made up of {{w|protons}}, {{w|neutrons}} and {{w|electrons}}. Protons and neutrons are in turn made up of {{w|quarks}}, which are fundamental particles, which are not made of other particles. Quarks come in six different "{{w|Flavour (particle physics)|flavours}}" (up, down, top, bottom, charm, and strange), with protons and neutrons being made of up and down quarks. Each flavour also has a corresponding {{w|antiparticle}}, an antiquark, which would make up antiprotons and antineutrons.

[[White Hat]] and [[Megan]] appear to be discussing the topics of antimatter and subatomic particles. White Hat asserts that people and objects are made partially of antimatter, because, as he claims, a proton (one of the particles which make up matter) is made of two quarks and an antiquark. In fact, protons are made up of two up quarks and a down quark, which is not an antiquark. He is likely making the mistake of mixing up the "up" and "down" flavours of quarks, which can be seen as complementary flavours of quarks, and mistaking them to be mutual antiparticles. He continues to elaborate on his idea by mentioning neutrons, which are made of two down quarks and an up quark.

When Megan doubts his claim, White Hat takes out his smartphone to look it up, in order to show Megan that he is correct. However, upon researching online, he realizes that he was, in fact, '''wrong''', hence the title of the comic. Unwilling to admit being incorrect or yield his position in the discussion, he convinces himself that he wasn't actually wrong, as depicted by a scribble covering his realization. Instead, he completely changes the topic to try and re-frame it in order to prove that he wasn't wrong. In this case, he circles back and criticizes the entire scientific concept of "particles", which can be seen as an attempt at a {{w|straw man}} on his part. Presumably, he will go on to explain how humans are not made of particles and quarks, but of waves.

It is rather common to be unwilling to admit fault and to instead try to maintain an air of infallibility and intelligence. Some people are just too prideful to admit that they are inherently fallible. White Hat is one of those people, as depicted in several of his earlier appearances (see [[#Trivia|trivia section]]). [[Randall]] uses this comic to criticize people who are unable to put aside their ego and re-assess what they know in the face of empirical data. Such thinking flies directly against scientific rigor, adding an extra layer of irony to the situation, since White Hat and Megan are discussing a ''scientific'' topic. This method had already been called ''wrong'' in [[803: Airfoil]].

White Hat's new topic, where he can be right, includes {{w|quantum field theory}} (QFT), a very complicated field, which is likely one Megan is not well versed in, as she was not quite sure about the anti-quarks. So he may be raising the topic because he believes she will not understand it sufficiently to refute his statements. Megan, however, recognizes exactly what he is trying to do, and can only sigh in response to his failed efforts. In QFT, particles are often described as {{w|Resonance (particle physics)|resonances}} or {{w|excited state|excited states}} of the underlying physical field, in the same way as photons may be thought of as excitations in the electromagnetic field; in this way White Hat appears to be dismissing his earlier errors by implying that particles are merely an effect of something more complex, of which he can demonstrate his knowledge. Furthermore, in quantum field theory, quarks do not exist in the conventional sense.

In the title text, White Hat just remembers another thing he's right about. This demonstrates even more clearly that he is not interested in a discussion on the merits of a topic, but instead is seeking only recognition and validation for being right. This bears some similarity to [[386: Duty Calls]], in which [[Cueball]] stays up late correcting someone on the Internet, and [[2051: Bad Opinions]], where Cueball actively seeks out people with bad opinions for him to correct.

White Hat may have incorrectly remembered that, while the valence quarks in a proton are all matter, quantum field theory says that protons also contain an indefinite number of "virtual" anti-quarks, quarks, and gluons (see the video ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraNu_78sCwv What are Quarks?]''). His final comment could be referring to the ontological debate over whether virtual particles are in some sense real or only an artefact of perturbation theory. Alternatively, he may have been confused by the fact that negatively charged quarks contribute negatively to baryon number. <nowiki></nowiki>

==Transcript==
:[White Hat is walking beside Megan, index finger extended]
:White Hat: Really, we're all made of antimatter. A proton consists of two quarks and an antiquark.
:Megan: ...I don't think that's right.

:[White Hat stops to take out his smartphone tapping on it. Megan stops and turns towards him.]
:White Hat: Sure it is. Neutrons are, too.
:Megan: Do you mean "up" and "down" quarks? I think antiquarks are a different thing.
:White Hat: No, let me show you...
:Tap
:Tap

:[Zooming in on White Hat's head, while he is holding his phone up looking at it. He is thinking as shown with a bubbly thought bubble.]
:White Hat (thinking): I'm...wrong?

:[White Hat has lowered the phone. He is still thinking the same but the text has been scribbled out.]
:White Hat (thinking): I'm...wrong?

:[White Hat purges the thought from his mind]
:White Hat (thinking): ...

:[Similar setting as in the first panel, but in a full row wide panel, and White Hat is still holding his smartphone]
:White Hat: Really, the whole idea of "particles" is inaccurate. These are abstractions arising from quantum field theory, but what most people don't realize is...
:Megan: <small>*Sigh*</small>

==Trivia==
*This comic could be seen as a follow up to [[1605: DNA]]. Going back through the last White Hat appearances it turns out that DNA, 13 White Hat comics back, is actually the last where White Hat has been the fall guy. For instance he has the opposite role in [[1640: Super Bowl Context]], and he is not "the stupid guy" in the comics between that and this one, but often just another guy than Cueball. Further back in [[1255: Columbus]] he was again the fall guy, and again it reminds a bit about this comic. Actually Megan even begins that comic with a *sigh* like she finished this one.
*Quarks are also referenced in [[1418: Horse]], [[1621: Fixion]] and the first time they were mentioned, in [[474: Turn-On]], all six flavors were also mentioned.
*Antimatter is also referenced in [[683: Science Montage]], [[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]] and [[1621: Fixion]] as well as being the subject of the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|114|Antimatter}}''. It was also mentioned in another ''what if?'': ''{{what if|79|Lake Tea}}''.
*A similar thought process where earlier thoughts are scribbled out was used by Cueball in [[1650: Baby]], but for different reasons.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]

3229: Grammar

2026-04-07T04:20:51Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3229
| date = April 6, 2026
| title = Grammar
| image = grammar_2x.png
| imagesize = 227x312px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Communication is one of the most popular ways to transmit information, ahead of rivals such as
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

[[Miss Lenhart]] is shown teaching a classroom about {{w|grammar}}. Grammar is a system and set of rules to describe how a certain language is structured. This is useful to make communication and meaning standardized and clear with little to no difficulty for parsing. In this comic, Miss Lenhart claims that grammar is "''one'' of the most popular ways to structure a language". She also presents two alternative methods (though it could be interpreted as a list of four items without commas to split it up) that competed to substitute grammar, yet evidently never took off to be implemented for practical use. Despite seeming nonsensical, they've gained their own endonyms:

;Words order words random words words random good
:This form of alternative grammar arbitrarily consists of words that vaguely help understanding the overall sentence.

;EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
:This is the strangest of the two. It might be referencing a scream as a form of communication (albeit an unreliable one)

The title text continues Lenhart's lecture, as she moves on to {{w|communication}} and its rival alternatives, similar to the subject of grammar, but seems to cut off before naming the first one. This may reference {{w|nonverbal communication}} (which is communication without oral means), but this is a subset of communication. Either Miss Lenhart has transferred into another mode of transmitting information to self-demonstrate (that may be impossible to render textually) or lack thereof, as the sudden stop in the middle of the sentence could be a joke for how there no other ways to convey information without communication. Still, this doesn't rule out other possible alternatives to communication, as Lenhart implies that other methods exist. Nonetheless, self-demonstrating lack of communication would not be useful in this setting without further explanation, as abruptly ceasing to provide more information could instill confusion in her students.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Miss Lenhart is teaching in a classroom. Two students can be seen sitting at desks in front of her, [[Cueball]] in the first row and [[Megan]] in the second row.]
:Miss Lenhart: '''Grammar''' is one of the most popular ways to structure a language, ahead of rival methods such as '''''words order words random words words random good''''' and '''''EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'''''.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]

3226: Home Solar

2026-03-31T18:57:39Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3226
| date = March 30, 2026
| title = Home Solar
| image = home_solar_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x258px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "While I try to do my part to destroy the environment, I try not to focus too much on individual responsibility. By pushing for broad policy changes, we can collectively do far more damage to the biosphere than any of us could on our own."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by HARMING THE ENVIRONMENT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
[[Black Hat]] and [[Cueball]] are outside Black Hat's house discussing the {{w|solar panel}}s he has recently installed on the roof. (Or alternatively outside another house, e.g. Cueball's, with its solar panels having initiated the comparison.) Being a [[72: Classhole|classhole]], Black Hat is attempting to live in a way that will maximize his negative impact on the environment. Cueball asks why he has installed solar panels, since he knows Black Hat, and that he has described himself as anti-'{{w|renewable energy|renewables}}'. Black Hat responds that, as much as he'd prefer an option that harmed the planet more, solar power ({{w|photovoltaics}} and/or {{w|solar thermal energy}}) is simply the cheapest option and his budget is incapable of supporting anything else.

Black Hat's words in panel 3, that "the technology just isn't there and the cost is too high", is an oft-repeated excuse for those sticking with {{w|fossil fuel}} use rather than potentially deploy renewable energy technology, such as solar panels. When solar panel technologies were in their infancy, their costs were [https://www.iea.org/data-and-statistics/charts/evolution-of-solar-pv-module-cost-by-data-source-1970-2020 very high], pricing out most uses of them; but now solar panels are mass-produced, together with some potential periods of official subsidy (with varying likelihood, by both location and time) as the manufacturing/installation industries were encouraged to be more developed, and it has become [https://www.wri.org/insights/growth-renewable-energy-sector-explained more affordable] for households to put solar panels on their rooftops, so the excuse has lost much of its validity. Nowadays this excuse is commonly used to justify technological inertia.

This may also be reference to the high oil/gasoline prices recently, going up over 30% in the past two weeks prior to this comic's publication, overwhelingly due to {{w|2026 Strait of Hormuz crisis|military activity}} disrupting fuel (and other) trading, and its knock-on effects globally.

In the end, Black Hat claims that he can try to 'make up for this' by using the saved money to buy industrial waste and burn it in his backyard. Cueball responds with a knowing comment about 'carbon onsets'. This is a play on {{w|Carbon offsets and credits|carbon ''offsets''}}: certificates used for demonstrating mitigation of one's own carbon footprint, by effectively crowd-funding larger projects that are {{w|Carbon dioxide removal|'carbon negative'}} but are difficult to properly coordinate directly and individually. Carbon offsets represent emission reductions or captures happening elsewhere, and can be used to ''offset'' emissions caused by the user of the credit. This is rather than just relying upon random altruistic third parties to put the effort and finance into such a scheme to counteract others' care-free carbon emissions, or to allow a way to reward those who would indeed just do this off their own back.

Black Hat does the reverse, causing extra environmental harm to offset (or "onset", as Cueball calls it) the good reluctantly done by him by using solar panels instead of an {{w|oil burner|oil furnace}}. This doesn't really make sense since it's not clear what target he would be trying to 'onset' to; there is no 'ideal' level of emissions that he would be trying to achieve, although one can assume that he'll be aiming to be at least the wrong side of 'carbon neutral'. While the solar panels will have a much lower carbon footprint than the oil furnace, they will still have had some, in manufacture, and other options (such as burning coal) could provide him with even more emissions than the oil.

The title text is a spin on a standard argument about personal responsibility in tackling environmental issues, distorted through the perspective of Black Hat. Low amounts of action to address personal impact is sometimes excused by pointing out that it will be a 'drop in the ocean' relative to the scale of the problem, and suggesting that only action at a global institutional level can really address it. Black Hat believes (correctly) that policy and other systemic change can cause bigger damage than just him burning industrial waste, and is excited about the potential for this to change things for the worse. This is ironic, because ingrained institutional and systemic factors have played a significant role in ''causing'' the problems we now have, and holding up the finding of solutions to them.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat and Cueball stand next to a house with solar panels on the roof.]
:Cueball: Wait, you got solar panels?
:Cueball: I thought you were against renewables.

:[Zoom to show only Cueball and Black Hat.]
:Black Hat: Oh, definitely. I hate the environment and want to harm it as much as possible.
:Black Hat: I'd '''''love''''' to have an oil furnace.

:[Zoom in on Black Hat; only his head and shoulders are visible.]
:Black Hat: But the technology just isn't there and the cost is too high.
:Black Hat: I despise solar, but it makes more financial sense in my situation.

:[Zoom out to show Cueball and Black Hat again.]
:Black Hat: But with the money I'm saving, I can buy and burn industrial waste in my yard to try to make up for it.
:Cueball: Ah, yeah, carbon onsets.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3103: Exoplanet System

2026-03-26T02:00:40Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3103
| date = June 16, 2025
| title = Exoplanet System
| image = exoplanet_system_2x.png
| imagesize = 623x447px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Sure, this exoplanet we discovered may seem hostile to life, but our calculations suggest it's actually in the accretion disc's habitable zone.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Exoplanet}}s are planets outside the Sun's {{w|Solar System}}. As astronomers discover more and more of these, they are finding all kinds of weird and unexpected examples, often with unusual and interesting physical properties, necessitating the introduction of new categorisations to describe them. Here, [[Randall]] presents a depiction of a hypothetical star system containing many exoplanets of different exotic types. Most of these are entirely imaginary, and some are outright nonsensical.

A number of the planet descriptions reference the potential habitability. This attracts a lot of attention, particularly in the media and popular imagination, both because it suggests a higher potential for finding {{w|extraterrestrial life}} of a form we might more easily recognise, and because such planets might potentially be examined as candidates for future {{w|space colonization}}. Unfortunately, for many hopefuls, there are a number of specific conditions required for {{w|Earth life|life}} to survive, and there are many possible ways for space to be inhospitable to life. As a result, most exoplanets that have been discovered have conditions that make it nearly impossible for humans to survive, and difficult for any life form as we know it to exist. The examples here illustrate (in an exaggerated fashion) some of the many frustrations astronomers face when analyzing planets and getting their hopes up, only to discover the planets they found are, sadly, nothing like Earth.

There are a total of 19 planets in the comic. Here are the explanations for each planet, in order of how far they are from the star:

;  Giant planet orbiting so close that it's actually rolling on the star's surface
: {{w|Giant planet}}s are observed to be gravitationally pulled close to their star (see ''Hot Jupiter'', below). Here, such a process has progressed until the planet is literally touching the star, which would likely put it inside the star's {{w|Roche limit}} and cause the planet to disintegrate. Even if the planet stayed intact, the star has no solid surface to roll on.

;  Hot Jupiter
: A {{w|Hot Jupiter}} is typical terminology used in analyzing exoplanets, generally depicting a {{w|gas giant}} (of a size similar to our {{w|Jupiter}} or {{w|Saturn}}) which orbits in a much closer/hotter orbit than our own. Hot Jupiters are easier to detect than many other types of exoplanets, due to both their gravitational effect on their stars (creating larger and/or more frequent wobbles, compared to any smaller and/or more distant planets) and their vastly more significant dimming effect on their host star's light (obscuring a greater quantity, if they happen to {{w|Astronomical transit|pass in front of it}}, than would any smaller body).
:We know of our own two 'not-hot Jupiters', and various other planets, ''despite'' their relative undetectability across interstellar space. Most were observed directly (and a majority of those were first detected by the {{w|Human eye|Mark-I Eyeball}}, over millennia), with coincidental celestial alignments and their gravitational effects upon the Sun being far less obvious. Studies {{w|Jupiter#Formation and migration|suggest that}} planets may change their orbits over time, on timescales too long to easily observe directly, so we can somewhat account for the existance and prevalence of Hot Jupiters, given that the stars ''currently'' with more tightly orbiting Jupiter-mass planets are more likely to be confirmed as such. Whether they are anything like as common and significant as initial observational counts suggest, and thus what the 'typical temperature' of any given Jupiter-like might be (including whether our own system's distribution of planetary sizes and distances is common or rare) is therefore a question that remains open for the time-being, our more local assessment of gas-giant warmth aside.

;  Planet that may actually be in the habitable zone, according to a very optimistic modeling paper by some desperate postdocs
: The {{w|habitable zone}} of a star is the range at which water is liquid. Notably, planets in the habitable zone could potentially host extraterrestrial life of a form we might more easily understand, which would mean greater funding for further research. As such, researchers will go to great lengths to determine as many habitable planets as they can.

;  There's a pulsar here but it's probably fine
: A {{w|pulsar}} is a {{w|neutron star}} which emits beams of radiation while spinning very fast. This means that this system is technically a {{w|binary star}}. The mass of a neutron star, this close to the visible star, means that any planets could not be simply in orbit around the latter. In addition to the {{w|gravitational instability}} this would produce, the intensity of the radiation and excess heat from the pulsar would make it extremely difficult for any form of life to exist in the system. Also, neutron stars are remnants of a {{w|supernova}} explosion, an event which is likely to sterilize, eject, or outright destroy any planets exposed to it. All of this lends a substantial level of irony to the "probably fine" comment.

;  A waterworld paradise with beautiful oceans and warm— wait, no, we just got new measurements, it's a hellish steam oven
: In any scientific field, new information may turn previously established knowledge on its head. Exoplanet research is no different, and a planet that at first seems to be habitable might turn out to be an incredibly deadly {{w|steam world}}. An example of this can be found in our own solar system with {{w|Venus}}, which was known to have clouds as early as the 1700s and was speculated to be habitable — but later, in the 1960s, those clouds were found to be made of steaming hot {{w|sulfuric acid}}, at a mean temperature of 464 °C.

;  Planet that could be habitable, if there's a form of life that hates water but loves acid and being on fire
: Scientists remain open to the possibility that life might form from different conditions than those found on Earth. That said, the speculation that life on this planet must "love acid and being on fire" is more than a little sarcastic. Possibly to a reference to the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'', in which Randall points out that the atmosphere on Venus is pretty survivable at 55km, except for the sulfuric acid, and way too hot at the surface.
: A similarly hostile planet is the topic of [[2202: Earth-Like Exoplanet]].

;  Mini Neptune
: As with "Jupiter" being used for the family of larger gas-giants, "Neptune" is often used to describe those with rough size/mass categories similar to our own not-quite-so-giant examples of {{w|Neptune}} and {{w|Uranus}} — sometimes instead termed "ice giants", though superficially they are still as gaseous. To call something a {{w|mini-Neptune}} would make it significantly smaller than Neptune, possibly small enough to not properly be any kind of 'giant' at all (perhaps instead transitioning into the nominal {{w|super-Earth}} class, but still with a substantial atmosphere), making the comparison to it even less accurate.

;  Lukewarm Jupiter
: A humorous interpolation of the "Hot Jupiter" vs. 'normal'-Jupiter scale, producing a finer distinction between 'types' of Jupiter. The French Wikipedia has {{w|fr:Jupiter tiède|an article on "warm Jupiters"}}, indicating that it isn't an entirely unknown concept. "Lukewarm", however, still stands as vague, ill-defined and unrigorous as a description, as is often deliberately invoked for xkcd.

;  Planet whose atmosphere is confirmed to contain atoms
: With interstellar distances, it is inevitable that some planets will be hard to get a read on. Here, the astronomers can only confirm the planet has an atmosphere, not what it is made of, or perhaps even how extensive it is. If it has an atmosphere at all, there are very few options ''except'' for it to be composed of atoms.
:Possibly in reference to headlines about exoplanets whose atmospheres contain molecules that may indicate biological life, but extrapolated to comedic levels of vagueness. A similar 'too cautious' approach to the data can be seen in [[2359: Evidence of Alien Life]].

;  Earthlike data artifact
: An {{w|Artifact (error)|artifact}} in this context is any error where it looks like something exists when it actually doesn't. This may be caused by faults in the equipment, or by other activity that looks similar to a planet signal. In this case the astronomers thought they detected an {{w|Earth-like planet}}, only to discover it was a data artifact. There have been several such cases already, for example {{w|Gliese 581g}}, which was considered to be the most Earthlike planet discovered at the time, before more detailed analysis concluded it didn't exist. Either that, or it has turned out that {{w|Simulation hypothesis|Earth itself is a data artifact}}, which would raise {{w|Epistemology|epistemological}} questions about the whole endeavour of studying the universe.

;  Cold Jupiter
: Implicitly the opposite of a "Hot Jupiter", as described above. Used here as another extension of the "''<temperature>'' Jupiter" running gag, "Cold Jupiter" is occasionally used in real astronomy (usually to describe our own type of 'non-hot' Jupiter, rather than an explicitly colder-still version), but is fairly informal and used mainly to directly deliniate against the Hot variety. The French Wikipedia also has {{w|fr:Jupiter froid|an article on cold Jupiters}}.

;  Potentially habitable void
: It seems that the part of this system that would be ideal for habitable planetary conditions does not actually contain any planets. This would make it much harder to actually inhabit (the notional inhabitants would have to build a world to live on, and would have nowhere to easily locate themselves while the building was in progress), to the implied frustration of the astronomers. Confusingly, the illustration of the void is as a patch that crosses several of the planetary orbits. Since it cannot remain a void if a planet passes through it, this suggests it is an object (or rather a lack of objects) that orbits in its own right. This is not normally how habitable zones work — they are usually a span of potential orbits, forming a {{w|Annulus (mathematics)|ring}} (or {{w|Spherical shell|shell}}) around the star. Additionally, this region is positioned right between Cold Jupiter and Hot Mars, implying that it is in between hot and cold, and between gaseous and rocky, being closer to Earth conditions.

;  Hot Mars
: Continuing the joke regarding Hot Jupiters. This assumes that if there's hot Jupiters, there must be a "hot" variant of every planet, including {{w|Mars}}.

;  Faint dust cloud that will cause several papers to be retracted
: This is in reference to the {{w|astronomical transit}} method of discovering planets by measuring periodic dips in brightness of the central star, done by missions like the {{w|Kepler space telescope}}. It turns out that not all variations in brightness are caused by planets, much to the disappointment of overeager data analysts and science news reporters; see, for example, {{w|Fomalhaut b}}, a former proposed exoplanet that turned out to be a dust cloud, or {{w|Tabby's Star}}, a star with odd irregular dimming pattern likely due to a dust cloud which was briefly thought by some to be an alien megastructure.

;  Either a gas giant or a fist-sized rock, depending upon which calibration method you use
: Scientific instruments, including telescopes, must be calibrated in various ways, and different calibration methods can lead to different corrections applied to raw data and hence different values for calibrated data. This is exaggerated in the comic to make a raw observation emerge from the calibration correction process as two objects of vastly different size - a range of uncertainty between tens of thousands of kilometers and a few centimeters, perhaps nine orders of magnitude. This is not particularly precise, even for a [[2205: Types of Approximation|cosmologist]]. Also, a "fist-sized rock" would be impossible to detect around a distant star using current technology; it would be difficult to spot {{w|Russell's teapot|something of this size}} around {{w|Sun|''our own'' star}}.

;  Mini Pluto
: In line with the Mini Neptune, above. {{w|Pluto}} is already significantly smaller than all other acknowledged planets (and even seven moons). Thus, in part, its redesignation as a "{{w|dwarf planet}}" — of which, it is not even {{w|Eris (dwarf planet)|the most massive}} known. A "mini Pluto" suggests an exoplanet that shares most of Pluto's features, but is somehow ''even smaller''. But presumably bigger than the above "fist-sized rock".

;  Wet Saturn
: A further spin on the "''<adjective> <planet>''" theme. May be a reference to the 'fact' that "Saturn would float in water" {{w|Saturn#Physical characteristics|due to its overall density}}. The difficulty of finding a practical way to test this notwithstanding, perhaps someone managed it with this planet. Alternatively, this is a Saturn-like planet that somehow has liquid surface water rather than predominantly atmospheric, or features a higher than expected proportion of continually recondensing water vapour.

;  Planet whose surface may host conditions suitable for rocks
: As with the above planet whose atmosphere "contains atoms," this planet is too difficult to get a read on, and the measurements are still so vague that it's unknown whether this planet is a rocky planet or a gas/{{w|ice giant}}. This is also a play on the holy grail of exo-planet research — finding a planet whose surface hosts conditions suitable for ''life''. It's not impossible that that would involve [https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Horta living rocks], but that would impose a {{w|Hypothetical types of biochemistry#Silicon biochemistry|different set of environmental restrictions}} from those for the carbon-based life we're familiar with. Seven months after this comic was posted, The Onion published an article titled [https://theonion.com/nasa-discovers-distant-planet-with-conditions-that-could-sustain-rocks/ "NASA Discovers Distant Planet With Conditions That Could Sustain Rocks"].

;  Somehow this whole system is smaller than the orbit of Mercury?!
: No planet, or anything other than an orbital path, shown. But apparently an indicator that all the rest of the given orbits (for Jupiter-likes, Mars-likes, dust clouds, etc., and even semi-inconvenient pulsars) exist within a planetary system that is ''extremely'' compact, fitting into a volume of space the size of that between our Sun and the orbit of its nearest planet, {{w|Mercury}}.
: This is likely a reference to the fact that many exoplanets located so far have been in even tighter orbits around their star than Mercury is with the Sun. It is worth noting, however, that this is likely to be observational bias, as large and tightly orbiting planets have a significantly larger (and hence easier to identify) effect on their parent star. There are likely many small and more distantly orbiting exoplanets that we are simply unable to observe effectively at this time.
: This is also likely a reference to the fact that the majority of stars in our galaxy are red dwarf stars, which are much cooler and dimmer than our Sun. This means that the habitable zone, and a suitably wide range of solar irradiance, can be found within a smaller radius of the star, such as the {{w|TRAPPIST-1}} system.
: A popular subject of xkcd, the [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]]/Serenity series has a [https://firefly.fandom.com/wiki/The_Verse fictional setting] that is ''also'' purportedly compact (by Earth's system's standards), featuring many worlds (and multiple stars, though none of them pulsars) within 'easy' in-system travelling distances for narrative purposes. Some minor inspiration may have been derived from this, though no overtly direct references appear.

; Title text
: The title text mentions a planet within an {{w|accretion disk}}, which means that the planet is passing through material inspiraling into some significantly more massive object and is likely inspiraling itself from resistive effects of passing through said material. Nevertheless, the researcher speaking assures us that the planet is in the disk's habitable zone, implying it is a worthwhile option for colonization. This is despite the observed location being likely temporary as the planet's orbit inspirals closer and closer to the central object, to say nothing of the likely constant bombardment of debris and potential radiation depending on how massive the central object is and how dense the accretion disk is.

:Alternatively, the accretion disk in question might be a very compact and hot one, such as those found around some {{w|black hole}}s, which glows brightly enough to illuminate its surroundings like a star and has a habitable zone safely outside the disk itself.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript | make little more descriptive}}
:[Title:]

:Typical exoplanet system

:[Central diagram showing a star with various planets and objects orbiting around it, with trajectories connected by dotted lines and labels and descriptions by solid lines:]

:[Label pointing to a large planet with strips and a dot near the center close to the center:]

:Giant planet orbiting so close that it's actually rolling on the star's surface

:[Label pointing to a small object with several large bulged spots near the star:]

:Hot Jupiter

:[Label pointing to a small object with strips on side:]

:Mini Neptune

:[Label pointing to a featureless round planet in the middle distance:]

:Planet that could be habitable, if there's a form of life that hates water but loves acid and being on fire

:[Label pointing to another object with strips and a dot close to the center:]

:Cold Jupiter

:[Label inside a bounded curvy area:]

:Potentially habitable void

:[Label pointing to another planet with dots:]

:Hot Mars

:[Label pointing to a featureless round planet:]

:Planet that may actually be in the habitable zone, according to a very optimistic modeling paper by some desperate postdocs

:[Label pointing to a medium-sized object with two sets of spreading out rays coming out. There is also an outline that is slightly dotted:]

:There's a pulsar here but it's probably fine

:[Label pointing to another small featureless round planet:]

:A waterworld paradise with beautiful oceans and warm - wait, no, we just got new measurements, it's a hellish steam oven

:[Label pointing to a tiny planet:]

:Mini Pluto

:[Label pointing to another object:]

:Lukewarm Jupiter

:[Label pointing to a planet with a line in the middle:]

:Planet whose atmosphere is confirmed to contain atoms

:[Label pointing to another object which is partly round but some parts are taken off and the parts are shaped like rectangles:]

:Earthlike data artifact

:[Label pointing to another planet with rings and stripes, but has some small dots near the bottom of the planet and the rings:]

:Wet Saturn

:[Label pointing to another featureless round object:]

:Either a gas giant or a fist-sized rock, depending which calibration method you use

:[Label pointing to a bounded area with dots inside:]

:Faint dust cloud that will cause several papers to be retracted

:[Label pointing to the a dotted line, which is outside:]

:Somehow this whole system is smaller than the orbit of Mercury?!

:[Label pointing to another object:]

:Planet whose surface may host conditions suitable for rocks

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]

3223: Inflation Timeline

2026-03-26T01:42:17Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3223
| date = March 23, 2026
| title = Inflation Timeline
| image = inflation_timeline_2x.png
| imagesize = 423x213px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, 'regular' may at times awkwardly coexist with 'sexy.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by an INFLATIONARY BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{w|Cosmic inflation}} is the theory that the very early universe briefly expanded at an enormous rate. This explains the "clumpiness" of the early universe, which is necessary to explain the formation of large-scale structures (e.g., {{w|galaxies}}, {{w|galaxy clusters}}, {{w|galaxy filaments}}, etc.) as the universe evolved. "Regular" {{w|price inflation}} refers to the economic process in which the average price of goods and services increases over time. This is usually gradual, but can be very rapid during times of economic distress.

The comic puts both of these on the same {{w|Chronology of the universe|timeline of the universe}}. Cosmic inflation occurred very shortly (~10<sup>-34</sup> s) after the {{w|Big Bang}}. Regular inflation has only occurred during the time after money started being used, perhaps {{w|History of money|7,000 years ago}}. Because of the logarithmic scale of the graph, the cosmic inflation period, which is only a tiny fraction of a second, looks much larger than regular inflation, which has existed for at least a few thousand years. This misinterpretation is likely [[Randall]]'s intention in the comic, along with conflating two wildly different kinds of "inflation".

The title text refers to a third meaning, that of {{w|body inflation}} as a sexual fetish or kink, which has no direct relationship to cosmology or economics.{{Citation needed}} [[Randall]] points out that body inflation happens at the same time as economic inflation, presumably because both arise from human activities. The suggestion that this coexistence may be "awkward" perhaps implies that people are paying to indulge in the fetish, and that those prices are subject to economic inflation. The "inflation" might also refer to something akin to a {{w|Sex doll|blow-up doll}}.

Another comic illustrating cosmic inflation is [[2240: Timeline of the Universe]].

==Trivia==
Assuming regular inflation started with the {{w|History of money|first use of money 7,000 years ago}}, the "regular" inflation bar, if accurately displayed, would go from 10<sup>17.63856460</sup> to 10<sup>17.63856482</sup> seconds, with a difference in the exponents of 0.00000022. Depending on your display resolution, this would make the graph's "regular" bar on the order of a millionth of a pixel wide.

Given that there are only seven secondary tick marks between the primary (labeled) tick marks, these denote not increments of 1 order of magnitude but 1.125 orders of magnitude.

==Transcript==
:[Label of timeline]: Timeline of Inflation
:[A log-scale timeline labeled "Age of the Universe (seconds)" ranging from 10<sup>-44</sup> to about 10<sup>25</sup>, with labeled tick marks at 10<sup>-40</sup>, 10<sup>-30</sup>, and so on until 10<sup>20</sup> s. An arrow points from the text "Cosmic" to a bar that begins off-panel to the left and continues up to roughly 10<sup>-33</sup> seconds. Another arrow points from the text "Regular" to a second, much thinner bar that covers another period between roughly 10<sup>16.9</sup> and 10<sup>17.3</sup> seconds.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Sex]]

3223: Inflation Timeline

2026-03-26T01:41:41Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3223
| date = March 23, 2026
| title = Inflation Timeline
| image = inflation_timeline_2x.png
| imagesize = 423x213px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, 'regular' may at times awkwardly coexist with 'sexy.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by an INFLATIONARY BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{w|Cosmic inflation}} is the theory that the very early universe briefly expanded at an enormous rate. This explains the "clumpiness" of the early universe, which is necessary to explain the formation of large-scale structures (e.g., {{w|galaxies}}, {{w|galaxy clusters}}, {{w|galaxy filaments}}, etc.) as the universe evolved. "Regular" {{w|price inflation}} refers to the economic process in which the average price of goods and services increases over time. This is usually gradual, but can be very rapid during times of economic distress.

The comic puts both of these on the same {{w|Chronology of the universe|timeline of the universe}}. Cosmic inflation occurred very shortly (~10<sup>-34</sup> s) after the {{w|Big Bang}}. Regular inflation has only occurred during the time after money started being used, perhaps {{w|History of money|7,000 years ago}}. Because of the logarithmic scale of the graph, the cosmic inflation period, which is only a tiny fraction of a second, looks much larger than regular inflation, which has existed for at least a few thousand years. This misinterpretation is likely [[Randall]]'s intention in the comic, along with conflating two wildly different kinds of "inflation".

The title text refers to a third meaning, that of {{w|body inflation}} as a sexual fetish or kink, which has no direct relationship to cosmology or economics.{{Citation needed}} [[Randall]] points out that body inflation happens at the same time as economic inflation, presumably because both arise from human activities. The suggestion that this coexistence may be "awkward" perhaps implies that people are paying to indulge in the fetish, and that those prices are subject to economic inflation. The "inflation" might also refer to something akin to a {{w|Sex doll|blow-up doll}}.

Another comic illustrating cosmic inflation is [[2240: Timeline of the Universe]].

==Trivia==
Assuming regular inflation started with the {{w|History of money|first use of money 7,000 years ago}}, the "regular" inflation bar, if accurately displayed, would go from 10<sup>17.63856460</sup> to 10<sup>17.63856482</sup> seconds, with a difference in the exponents of 0.00000022. Depending on your display resolution, this would make the graph's "regular" bar on the order of a millionth of a pixel wide.

Given that there are only seven secondary tick marks between the primary (labeled) tick marks, these denote not increments of 1 order of magnitude but 1.125 orders of magnitude.

==Transcript==
:Caption: Timeline of Inflation
:[A log-scale timeline labeled "Age of the Universe (seconds)" ranging from 10<sup>-44</sup> to about 10<sup>25</sup>, with labeled tick marks at 10<sup>-40</sup>, 10<sup>-30</sup>, and so on until 10<sup>20</sup> s. An arrow points from the text "Cosmic" to a bar that begins off-panel to the left and continues up to roughly 10<sup>-33</sup> seconds. Another arrow points from the text "Regular" to a second, much thinner bar that covers another period between roughly 10<sup>16.9</sup> and 10<sup>17.3</sup> seconds.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Sex]]

3223: Inflation Timeline

2026-03-26T01:40:41Z

1234231587678: omg im so blind

{{comic
| number = 3223
| date = March 23, 2026
| title = Inflation Timeline
| image = inflation_timeline_2x.png
| imagesize = 423x213px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, 'regular' may at times awkwardly coexist with 'sexy.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by an INFLATIONARY BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{w|Cosmic inflation}} is the theory that the very early universe briefly expanded at an enormous rate. This explains the "clumpiness" of the early universe, which is necessary to explain the formation of large-scale structures (e.g., {{w|galaxies}}, {{w|galaxy clusters}}, {{w|galaxy filaments}}, etc.) as the universe evolved. "Regular" {{w|price inflation}} refers to the economic process in which the average price of goods and services increases over time. This is usually gradual, but can be very rapid during times of economic distress.

The comic puts both of these on the same {{w|Chronology of the universe|timeline of the universe}}. Cosmic inflation occurred very shortly (~10<sup>-34</sup> s) after the {{w|Big Bang}}. Regular inflation has only occurred during the time after money started being used, perhaps {{w|History of money|7,000 years ago}}. Because of the logarithmic scale of the graph, the cosmic inflation period, which is only a tiny fraction of a second, looks much larger than regular inflation, which has existed for at least a few thousand years. This misinterpretation is likely [[Randall]]'s intention in the comic, along with conflating two wildly different kinds of "inflation".

The title text refers to a third meaning, that of {{w|body inflation}} as a sexual fetish or kink, which has no direct relationship to cosmology or economics.{{Citation needed}} [[Randall]] points out that body inflation happens at the same time as economic inflation, presumably because both arise from human activities. The suggestion that this coexistence may be "awkward" perhaps implies that people are paying to indulge in the fetish, and that those prices are subject to economic inflation. The "inflation" might also refer to something akin to a {{w|Sex doll|blow-up doll}}.

Another comic illustrating cosmic inflation is [[2240: Timeline of the Universe]].

==Trivia==
Assuming regular inflation started with the {{w|History of money|first use of money 7,000 years ago}}, the "regular" inflation bar, if accurately displayed, would go from 10<sup>17.63856460</sup> to 10<sup>17.63856482</sup> seconds, with a difference in the exponents of 0.00000022. Depending on your display resolution, this would make the graph's "regular" bar on the order of a millionth of a pixel wide.

Given that there are only seven secondary tick marks between the primary (labeled) tick marks, these denote not increments of 1 order of magnitude but 1.125 orders of magnitude.

==Transcript==
:[Caption:] Timeline of Inflation
:[A log-scale timeline labeled "Age of the Universe (seconds)" ranging from 10<sup>-40</sup> to about 10<sup>25</sup>, with labeled tick marks at 10<sup>-40</sup>, 10<sup>-30</sup>, and so on until 10<sup>20</sup> s. An arrow points from the text "Cosmic" to a bar that begins off-panel to the left and continues up to roughly 10<sup>-33</sup> seconds. Another arrow points from the text "Regular" to a second, much thinner bar that covers another period between roughly 10<sup>16.9</sup> and 10<sup>17.3</sup> seconds.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Sex]]

3223: Inflation Timeline

2026-03-26T01:38:45Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3223
| date = March 23, 2026
| title = Inflation Timeline
| image = inflation_timeline_2x.png
| imagesize = 423x213px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, 'regular' may at times awkwardly coexist with 'sexy.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by an INFLATIONARY BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{w|Cosmic inflation}} is the theory that the very early universe briefly expanded at an enormous rate. This explains the "clumpiness" of the early universe, which is necessary to explain the formation of large-scale structures (e.g., {{w|galaxies}}, {{w|galaxy clusters}}, {{w|galaxy filaments}}, etc.) as the universe evolved. "Regular" {{w|price inflation}} refers to the economic process in which the average price of goods and services increases over time. This is usually gradual, but can be very rapid during times of economic distress.

The comic puts both of these on the same {{w|Chronology of the universe|timeline of the universe}}. Cosmic inflation occurred very shortly (~10<sup>-34</sup> s) after the {{w|Big Bang}}. Regular inflation has only occurred during the time after money started being used, perhaps {{w|History of money|7,000 years ago}}. Because of the logarithmic scale of the graph, the cosmic inflation period, which is only a tiny fraction of a second, looks much larger than regular inflation, which has existed for at least a few thousand years. This misinterpretation is likely [[Randall]]'s intention in the comic, along with conflating two wildly different kinds of "inflation".

The title text refers to a third meaning, that of {{w|body inflation}} as a sexual fetish or kink, which has no direct relationship to cosmology or economics.{{Citation needed}} [[Randall]] points out that body inflation happens at the same time as economic inflation, presumably because both arise from human activities. The suggestion that this coexistence may be "awkward" perhaps implies that people are paying to indulge in the fetish, and that those prices are subject to economic inflation. The "inflation" might also refer to something akin to a {{w|Sex doll|blow-up doll}}.

Another comic illustrating cosmic inflation is [[2240: Timeline of the Universe]].

==Trivia==
Assuming regular inflation started with the {{w|History of money|first use of money 7,000 years ago}}, the "regular" inflation bar, if accurately displayed, would go from 10<sup>17.63856460</sup> to 10<sup>17.63856482</sup> seconds, with a difference in the exponents of 0.00000022. Depending on your display resolution, this would make the graph's "regular" bar on the order of a millionth of a pixel wide.

Given that there are only seven secondary tick marks between the primary (labeled) tick marks, these denote not increments of 1 order of magnitude but 1.125 orders of magnitude.

==Transcript==
:[Caption:] Timeline of Inflation
:[A log-scale timeline labeled "Age of the Universe (seconds)" ranging from 10<sup>-43.5</sup> to about 10<sup>24.3</sup>, with labeled tick marks at 10<sup>-40</sup>, 10<sup>-30</sup>, and so on until 10<sup>20</sup> s. An arrow points from the text "Cosmic" to a bar that begins off-panel to the left and continues up to roughly 10<sup>-33</sup> seconds. Another arrow points from the text "Regular" to a second, much thinner bar that covers another period between roughly 10<sup>16.9</sup> and 10<sup>17.3</sup> seconds.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Sex]]

3223: Inflation Timeline

2026-03-26T01:34:57Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 3223
| date = March 23, 2026
| title = Inflation Timeline
| image = inflation_timeline_2x.png
| imagesize = 423x213px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, 'regular' may at times awkwardly coexist with 'sexy.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by an INFLATIONARY BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{w|Cosmic inflation}} is the theory that the very early universe briefly expanded at an enormous rate. This explains the "clumpiness" of the early universe, which is necessary to explain the formation of large-scale structures (e.g., {{w|galaxies}}, {{w|galaxy clusters}}, {{w|galaxy filaments}}, etc.) as the universe evolved. "Regular" {{w|price inflation}} refers to the economic process in which the average price of goods and services increases over time. This is usually gradual, but can be very rapid during times of economic distress.

The comic puts both of these on the same {{w|Chronology of the universe|timeline of the universe}}. Cosmic inflation occurred very shortly (~10<sup>-34</sup> s) after the {{w|Big Bang}}. Regular inflation has only occurred during the time after money started being used, perhaps {{w|History of money|7,000 years ago}}. Because of the logarithmic scale of the graph, the cosmic inflation period, which is only a tiny fraction of a second, looks much larger than regular inflation, which has existed for at least a few thousand years. This misinterpretation is likely [[Randall]]'s intention in the comic, along with conflating two wildly different kinds of "inflation".

The title text refers to a third meaning, that of {{w|body inflation}} as a sexual fetish or kink, which has no direct relationship to cosmology or economics.{{Citation needed}} [[Randall]] points out that body inflation happens at the same time as economic inflation, presumably because both arise from human activities. The suggestion that this coexistence may be "awkward" perhaps implies that people are paying to indulge in the fetish, and that those prices are subject to economic inflation. The "inflation" might also refer to something akin to a {{w|Sex doll|blow-up doll}}.

Another comic illustrating cosmic inflation is [[2240: Timeline of the Universe]].

==Trivia==
Assuming regular inflation started with the {{w|History of money|first use of money 7,000 years ago}}, the "regular" inflation bar, if accurately displayed, would go from 10<sup>17.63856460</sup> to 10<sup>17.63856482</sup> seconds, with a difference in the exponents of 0.00000022. Depending on your display resolution, this would make the graph's "regular" bar on the order of a millionth of a pixel wide.

Given that there are only seven secondary tick marks between the primary (labeled) tick marks, these denote not increments of 1 order of magnitude but 1.125 orders of magnitude.

==Transcript==
:[Caption:] Timeline of Inflation
:[A log-scale timeline labeled "Age of the Universe (seconds)" ranging from 10<sup>-40</sup> to about 10<sup>25</sup>, with labeled tick marks at 10<sup>-40</sup>, 10<sup>-30</sup>, ..., 10<sup>20</sup> s. A bar labeled "Cosmic" begins off-panel to the left and continues up to roughly 10<sup>-33</sup> seconds. A second, much thinner bar labeled "Regular" covers another period between roughly 10<sup>16.9</sup> and 10<sup>17.3</sup> seconds.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Sex]]

1453: fMRI

2026-03-26T01:28:22Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1453
| date = November 28, 2014
| title = fMRI
| image = fmri.png
| titletext = They also showed activation in the parts of the brain associated with exposure to dubious study methodology, concern about unremoved piercings, and exasperation with fMRI techs who won't stop talking about Warped Tour.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Functional magnetic resonance imaging}} (fMRI), as the name suggests, is an offshoot of the MRI. It shows brain activity, typically while the subject is performing tasks or responding to stimuli. During the test, the subject is laid in a relatively small cylinder inside a big, very loud, machine which produces extremely strong magnetic fields. To prevent damage or injury, the subject must remove all metal objects from their body, including piercings, jewelry, watches, etc.

In the tests shown, the brain activity detected is a direct result of the testing environment itself, and has nothing to do with the simple tasks being performed by the subject. During fMRI participants hear loud noises, are confined in a small space (thus the claustrophobia) and have removed their jewelry. The researcher has mistaken these associated brain activities as effects as being caused by ''performing simple memory tasks'' which the participants have been asked to do and not a direct result of the settings of the test. Thus, the brain areas described by Megan are those associated with taking a functional MRI scan, rather than those associated with the "test" supposedly being carried out. The results being shown are known as {{w|Artifact_(error)|artifacts}}, which are shown later in [[1781: Artifacts]].

In real experiments, reported activity patterns are always a result of subtracting average brain activity from many samples gathered during task from so called ''resting-state'' activity - which is obtained while subjects are not engaged in any task, thus eliminating the effect the setting has on brain activity. Apparently, the researcher in the comic has failed to account for that in the analysis of the data.

The title text raises the more difficult and controversial issues of methodology, saying that the subjects ''also showed activation in the parts of the brain associated with exposure to dubious study methodology''. Here [[Randall]] makes fun of the overly confident, sweeping statements made by some fMRI researchers, often in the press. Of course, fMRI technique requires that the researcher account for several possible sources of errors by, among others, performing proper statistical analyses, multiple comparisons and using proper control groups. These are usually the reasons for {{w|Functional magnetic resonance imaging#Criticism|fMRI criticism}}. See the link for further information, including a famous ironic study of a dead salmon which was shown various pictures of people while fMRI scans were made. The scans could be interpreted as showing meaningful brain activity, unless the {{w|multiple comparisons problem}} was properly addressed. Randall has previously made fun of geographic profiles falling to this trap in [[1138: Heatmap]].

The title text then continues with the jewelry issue, now especially the ''concern about unremoved piercings''. In the worst case these could be ripped off by the strong magnetic field. So it could be of some concern - especially when you take into consideration some of the places people may have piercings that are not obvious to the MRI personnel! The final remark about activation regards ''exasperation with fMRI techs who won't stop talking about Warped Tour''. "{{w|Warped Tour}}" refers to a traveling music festival that has been going since 1995, originally as a punk rock festival, but now with a more diverse set of music. Due to the nature of {{w|Moshing|mosh pits}}, the loud, cacophonous music, the facial jewelry of concert-goers and the tight quarters of the pit make it similar in description to an MRI.

==Transcript==
:[Megan talking to an unseen audience in front of an fMRI brain scan.]
:Megan: Our fMRI study found that subjects performing simple memory tasks showed activity in the parts of the brain associated with loud noises, claustrophobia, and the removal of jewelry.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Psychology]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Scientific research]]

1453: fMRI

2026-03-26T01:27:52Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1453
| date = November 28, 2014
| title = fMRI
| image = fmri.png
| titletext = They also showed activation in the parts of the brain associated with exposure to dubious study methodology, concern about unremoved piercings, and exasperation with fMRI techs who won't stop talking about Warped Tour.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Functional magnetic resonance imaging}} (fMRI), as the name suggests, is an offshoot of the MRI. It shows brain activity, typically while the subject is performing tasks or responding to stimuli. During the test, the subject is laid in a relatively small cylinder inside a big, very loud, machine which produces extremely strong magnetic fields. To prevent damage or injury, the subject must remove all metal objects from their body, including piercings, jewelry, watches, etc.

In the tests shown, the brain activity detected is a direct result of the testing environment itself, and has nothing to do with the simple tasks being performed by the subject. During fMRI participants hear loud noises, are confined in a small space (thus the claustrophobia) and have removed their jewelry. The researcher has mistaken these associated brain activities as effects as being caused by ''performing simple memory tasks'' which the participants have been asked to do and not a direct result of the settings of the test. Thus, the brain areas described by Megan are those associated with taking a functional MRI scan, rather than those associated with the "test" supposedly being carried out. The results being shown are known as {{w|Artifact_(error)|artifacts}}, which are shown later in [[1781: Artifacts]].

In real experiments, reported activity patterns are always a result of subtracting average brain activity from many samples gathered during task from so called ''resting-state'' activity - which is obtained while subjects are not engaged in any task, thus eliminating the effect the setting has on brain activity. Apparently, the researcher in the comic has failed to account for that in the analysis of the data.

The title text raises the more difficult and controversial issues of methodology, saying that the subjects ''also showed activation in the parts of the brain associated with exposure to dubious study methodology''. Here [[Randall]] makes fun of the overly confident, sweeping statements made by some fMRI researchers, often in the press. Of course, fMRI technique requires that the researcher account for several possible sources of errors by, among others, performing proper statistical analyses, multiple comparisons and using proper control groups. These are usually the reasons for {{w|Functional magnetic resonance imaging#Criticism|fMRI criticism}}. See the link for further information, including a famous ironic study of a dead salmon which was shown various pictures of people while fMRI scans were made. The scans could be interpreted as showing meaningful brain activity, unless the {{w|multiple comparisons problem}} was properly addressed. Randall has previously made fun of geographic profiles falling to this trap in [[1138: Heatmap]].

The title text then continues with the jewelry issue, now especially the ''concern about unremoved piercings''. In the worst case these could be ripped off by the strong magnetic field. So it could be of some concern - especially when you take into consideration some of the places people may have piercings that are not obvious to the MRI personnel! The final remark about activation regards ''exasperation with fMRI techs who won't stop talking about Warped Tour''. "{{w|Warped Tour}}" refers to a traveling music festival that has been going since 1995, originally as a punk rock festival, but now with a more diverse set of music. Due to the nature of {{w|Moshing|Mosh Pits}}, the loud, cacophonous music, the facial jewelry of concert-goers and the tight quarters of the pit make it similar in description to an MRI.

==Transcript==
:[Megan talking to an unseen audience in front of an fMRI brain scan.]
:Megan: Our fMRI study found that subjects performing simple memory tasks showed activity in the parts of the brain associated with loud noises, claustrophobia, and the removal of jewelry.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Psychology]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Scientific research]]

593: Voynich Manuscript

2026-03-25T19:56:34Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 593
| date = June 5, 2009
| title = Voynich Manuscript
| image = voynich_manuscript.png
| titletext = Wait, is that the ORIGINAL voynich manuscript? Where did you GET that? Wanna try playing a round of Druids and Dicotyledons?
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Voynich manuscript}} is a very detailed book written in an unknown script, describing plants and recipes, most of which lack a real-world analogue. Over the past few decades, linguists and cryptographers have unsuccessfully attempted to decode the book. A cut out from the book is depicted in the first frame (real or similar). {{w|Tabletop role-playing game|Tabletop role-playing games}} (such as [[:Category:Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeons & Dragons]]) are fantasy games with extremely detailed descriptions of fantastical worlds. The invented language is probably a reference to {{w|The Lord of the Rings}} in which author {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien}} invented several languages of which {{w|Sindarin}} (Grey elvish), and {{w|Quenya}} (High elvish), are the most famous.

After being shown the manuscript for the first time by [[Megan]], [[Cueball]] argues that it should be obvious that it's just an ancient role-playing-game rulebook, since the human tendency to invent fantastical worlds must have also existed in the past. That it is this obvious was again stated when the manuscript was referenced in [[1501: Mysteries]]. In the last panel the book is used, 500 years ago, to play a game similar to Dungeons and Dragons. They speak in the garbled gobbledygook laypeople often produce when trying to imitate "Old English". Which attempts to sound something like {{w|early Modern English}} — which was indeed spoken around 500 years ago. The reference to the real plant {{w|Aconitum|wolfsbane}} could also be a reference to another invented world, as it is memorably mentioned in the first book of the ''{{w|Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone|Harry Potter}}'' series.

After concluding this, a shocked Cueball then asks in the title text how Megan got her hands on the original manuscript, which is in the Yale University's ''{{w|Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library}}''. Rigorous security rules now only allow carefully controlled access to materials under video surveillance, thus Cueball's reaction upon realizing Megan has somehow gotten her hands on the original manuscript. He then unexpectedly goes on to suggest the prosaic activity of playing {{w|Druid|Druids}} and {{w|Dicotyledon|Dicotyledons}}, a made-up name (a spoof of the name of Dungeons & Dragons) for the imaginary, hypothetical “game” that the Voynich manuscript could have been the (or one of several) gameplay manual for.

==Transcript==
:[Weird root vegetables surround a strange script.]

:[Megan holding up book to Cueball.]
:Megan: This is the Voynich manuscript— a book, allegedly 500 years old, written in an unrecognized script. It's some kind of visual encyclopedia of imaginary plants and undeciphered "recipes".

:[Megan points while Cueball opens the book.]
:Megan: It could be a hoax, a lost language, a cipher, an alien text, glossolatia — no one knows.
:Cueball: No one? But it's obvious.

:[Megan continues to talk. Cueball holds the now closed book.]
:Megan: ... Obvious? Linguists and cryptographers have been stumped for decades.
:Cueball: They forget. Human nature doesn't change.

:[Close up of Megan and Cueball - the book is off panel.]
:Cueball: Just imagine someone found a book from <u>our</u> time, full of lists, illustrations, tables, and long, dry descriptions of nonexistent worlds written in an invented language. What have they found?
:Megan: ...Dear Lord. It ''is'' obvious.

:[Three people are standing around pawns and a die. One (a Cueball) is holding a sheet of paper, another (another Cueball) is holding a book, the third (Megan) is holding a scythe. At the top of the panel there is a frame with the following text:]
:500 Years Earlier:
:Person #1: Forsooth! I concoct an elixer of courage.
:Person #2: Nae! The source booke sayeth that requires some wolfsbane!
:Person #3: Your druid doth lose two points.

==Trivia==
*In the third panel, [[Randall]] may have meant ''{{w|glossolalia}}'' rather than ''glossolatia''.
*The use of the pronoun "your" in the last frame is anachronistic, as in early modern English it was used as a plural pronoun, or as a singular pronoun only to a superior; the proper pronoun would be "thy": "Thy Druid doth lose two points."
*''Elixir'' is misspelled as ''elixer''.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]]

2240: Timeline of the Universe

2026-03-25T15:45:48Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 2240
| date = December 11, 2019
| title = Timeline of the Universe
| image = timeline_of_the_universe.png
| titletext = Not actual size, except technically at one spot near the left.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic is about the size of the {{w|observable universe}}, presented as a timeline in a way typical of representations of the {{w|timeline of epochs in cosmology}}.

Some events it describes, including the {{w|Big Bang}} and {{w|Inflation (cosmology)|Inflation}} are real, but others are jokes, including the ''Medium Bang'' and ''Settling''. The size history of the visible universe is also embellished for the sake of jokes; the actual size history of the universe has one period referred to as Inflation, which occurred shortly after the Big Bang, followed by comparatively gentle but accelerating expansion. This is artistically depicted in [https://map.gsfc.nasa.gov/media/060915/060915_CMB_Timeline150.jpg this image from NASA]. Part of the humor in this comic comes from the fact that the varied rate of change in expansion is not yet fully understood, with explanations of events leading to this change including theories such as "dark matter" and "dark energy" (this might therefore be construed as "dark humor"). At the end of the drawing four possible continuations of the timeline are suggested, with director J. J. Abrams listed as the deciding factor between them, stating that all future cosmological development has been handed over to him. Abrams directed the 2009 movie ''{{w|Star Trek (film)|Star Trek}}'', which established additional alternate timelines for the {{w|Star Trek|Star Trek franchise}}, so it may be implied that multiple timelines could result from direction by Abrams in the future. Notably, each Star Trek series has included multiple interacting timelines. For information about each of the events shown in this comic's ''Timeline of the Universe'', see detailed explanations in the section [[#Events on the Timeline of the Universe|Events on the Timeline of the Universe]] below.

The title text is a variation of one of [[Randall|Randall's]] standard jokes that his drawings are ''Not actual size''; in the case of this comic there is technically one spot near the left where the drawing depicts the actual relative size of the universe at the time the drawing represents. Where his drawing begins, at the time when the universe began, per definition, our visible universe had no measurable size. Very soon (within a tiny fraction of an attosecond) after the universe as we know it began, the inflation period blew it up very very fast and then it continued to expand until present day. So at some "time" after the big bang, our visible universe would have had a size (i.e. diameter) that would be the same as any thickness of Randall's universe "line". Since the universe as depicted in the comic goes from infinitesimal size at the moment of the Big Bang to the full size of the universe today, at some point near the left there will be a point where Randall's representation would have the same size as the universe at the correct "time period". Of course a problem with this is that there was only a very very short time period after inflation where the diameter of the observable universe is on the same scale as this comic, and that point is neither indicated nor likely to be accurate in relation to the duration of time elapsed. According to an answer given [https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/32917/size-of-universe-after-inflation here] regarding the size of the visible universe after inflation, there is reason to believe that the size was still less than 1 mm in diameter when the stage of expansion known as Inflation ended, which is less than the thickness of the line shown at the Big Bang (depending on the screen size the comic is viewed upon); So the point along the timeline where the size of our visible universe matched the line width appears after the Inflation period is thought to have ended. Since Randall includes the ''Medium Bang'' before Inflation on his drawing he has already inserted a mistake there, but as the next three epochs after Inflation are real epochs, it is likely somewhere in this part of the drawing that the visible universe would have had the same diameter as the thickness of the drawing at a relevant time epoch on the drawing. This will thus not be that far to the left but around the Quark epoch.

===Events on the Timeline of the Universe===
The events presented in the timeline are:

* '''??''' (more than 13.8 billion years ago ({{w|Billion years|Gya}})): the unknown state of the universe prior to the Big Bang, if such a statement is even sensible. There are theories that our Universe is a bubble where inflation stopped (13.8 billion years ago in this universe) in an infinite and {{w|Eternal inflation|eternally inflating}} larger universe, which would give rise to the possibility of a {{w|multiverse}} with many bubble universes like ours where inflation has stopped. See for instance this recent video on the subject: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XglOw2_lozc How Many Universes Are There?] from PBS Space Time. If this is true, the universe did not start at the big bang, but our part of the infinite universe actually began when the inflation period stopped, and not at the Big Bang.
* '''{{w|Big Bang}}''' (13.8 Gya): The model of the origin of the universe which has achieved consensus among astronomers. We have observed that all galaxies are receding away from Earth at rates that are roughly proportional to their distance, and the simplest explanation for this is that the universe is expanding. If the universe is expanding, then (unless new physics are discovered) it must have at one time been very, very small and dense; that moment in time is called the Big Bang.
* '''{{w|Timeline_of_epochs_in_cosmology#Planck_epoch|Planck Epoch}}''': The time period starting from the Big Bang, the Planck epoch or Planck era is the earliest stage of expansion currently calculable, before the time passed was equal to the Planck time (tP, or approximately 10^-43 seconds). There is no currently available physical theory to describe such short times, and it is not clear in what sense the concept of time is meaningful for values smaller than the Planck time.
* '''Medium Bang''' (a joke): If there's a Big Bang, why not have a medium one? There should probably also be a Little Bang, but maybe it's just too little to be featured on this chart.
* '''{{w|Inflation (cosmology)|Inflation}}''' (10^-36 to 10^-32 seconds after the Big Bang): A theory developed to explain the large-scale structure of the universe that postulates a period when the universe expanded very much faster than the speed of light. (The universe still expands faster than the speed of light, but only 2-3 times as fast. The limit of the speed c, is only valid for things moving in space time, not for the stretching of space itself!)
* '''{{w|Timeline_of_epochs_in_cosmology#Quarks_epoch|Quark Epoch}}''' (10^-12 seconds after the Big Bang): The universe is a quark-gluon plasma, up until 10^-6 seconds when it cools enough to coalesce into hadrons, including protons and neutrons.
* '''{{w|Timeline_of_epochs_in_cosmology#Lepton_epoch|Lepton Epoch}}''' (1 second after the Big Bang): Leptons, including electrons, and their associated neutrinos dominate.
* '''{{w|Timeline_of_epochs_in_cosmology#Photon_epoch|Photon Epoch}}''' (10 seconds after the Big Bang): The universe is dominated by photons.
* '''Cool Bug Epoch''' (a joke): There was a period around 10-17 million years after the Big Bang in which the cosmic background radiation was between 273 and 373 K, the temperature range for liquid water, but as oxygen had not yet been formed, as stars were not yet there to create it, there would have been no water. Cosmologists {{w|Avi_Loeb#Early_Universe|have speculated}} that primitive life could have arisen during this period and dubbed it the 'Habitable Epoch of the Early Universe', although it's unclear how this life would have formed since there was basically only hydrogen and helium atoms in the universe until the first supernovae some 100 million years later. Randall later added 'cool bugs' as fundamental particles in his revised standard model (see [[2351: Standard Model Changes]]) so this may have been a similar joke that cool bugs are like particles, and would get their own epoch similar to the real lepton epoch (see above).Possibly this is the epoch in which the "cool red beetle" which [[Beret Guy]] added to his company's bug tracker (see [[1493: Meeting]]), or the "friendly bug" he wanted to show to a conference speaker (see [[2191: Conference Question]]), evolved.
* '''Molded grip''' (a joke): Some tools (e.g. knives) have molded finger-wells so that the user's hand settles easily and securely into a comfortable position. This epoch of the universe features repeated expansions and contractions so that this part of the timeline resembles a molded grip, at least in profile (it would be much too large to be held by any known animal's hands{{Citation needed}}, and the finger-wells are distributed over time as well as space).
* '''{{w|Timeline_of_epochs_in_cosmology#Cosmic_Dark_Age|Stars form}}''' (100 million years after the Big Bang): The universe cools enough to allow ordinary matter particles to group into stars.
* '''{{w|Stagflation}}''' (a joke): In addition to ''cosmic'' inflation, inflation can also refer to the economic phenomenon in which prices increase over time. Stagflation is a combination of the terms "stagnation" and "inflation", and refers to a situation in which monetary inflation is high, economic growth is slow, and job creation is low. This epoch of the universe shows the universe beginning to contract in size, much as economists would talk about an economy contracting.
* '''Settling''' (a joke): Thanks to government intervention and quantitative easing of the {{w|cosmological constant}}, or perhaps the judicious use of the Universe Control Panel, the contraction of the universe has halted. Alternately this may be a comparison to how in a package full of smaller items, the contents can "settle" over time so the empty space in between them is more filled in so it takes up less space overall leaving open space at the top (like how a cereal box may say "some settling may occur during shipment" to explain why the box doesn't seem completely full), and is thus claiming that somehow something similar to that decreased the size of the universe.
* '''Rebound''' (a joke): Consumer confidence has returned to the universe and it has begun expanding again. Alternatively, Settling and Rebound could be a reference to crustal rebound as the mere Earth occasionally shrinks and re-expands its surface. After all, Plate Tectonics games are fun when they are played in Real Time.
* '''Someone tripped and accidentally hit the "Inflation" switch again''' (a joke). This switch must be on the Universe Control panel referenced both in [[1620: Christmas Settings]] and in [[1763: Catcalling]].
* '''Emergency Stop triggered''' (a joke). Also on the Universe Control panel see previous entry.
* '''{{w|Timeline_of_epochs_in_cosmology#Galaxy_epoch|Galaxies form}}''' (12.8 Gya)
* '''{{w|Formation_and_evolution_of_the_Solar_System#Formation_of_the_planets|Earth forms}}''' (4.5 Gya)
* '''Present day'''
* '''Future cosmological development handed over to {{w|J.J. Abrams}}, outcome unknown''' (a joke): J.J. Abrams is a science-fiction writer and filmmaker. If he were in charge of the future development of the cosmos, he might decide to subject all of us to some strange plot twist. Among many other movies, he has directed the 2009 reboot of ''{{w|Star Trek (film)|Star Trek}}'', in which the "future history" of ''Star Trek'' is altered from the timeline of the original series by Nero and Spock traveling backwards in time. He also has directed other "Star" films, including ''{{w|Star Wars: The Force Awakens}}'' and ''{{w|Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker}}'' (released a few weeks after the publishing of this comic) which altered the direction of ''Star Wars'' canon away from the post-film future laid out in the Expanded Universe publications. He is also involved in the {{w|Mission: Impossible (film series)|Mission: Impossible}} films.
**The dashed lines coming off the end of the timeline represent the possible fates of the universe:
*** The one curving in represents that the universe could stop expanding and begin contracting, resulting in the {{w|Big Crunch}}. In our universe, cosmological measurements have shown that the expansion of the universe is accelerating, so the Big Crunch is considered to be the least likely fate.
*** The second curve continuing the trend from before represents that the universe could settle into thermal equilibrium, which would leave no energy available for any interesting phenomena to occur. This is called the {{w|heat death of the universe}} or "Big Freeze".
*** The fourth curve represents that the universe's expansion will continue accelerating, eventually very rapidly, to the point that the accelerating expansion overcomes all forces between particles, turning the universe into a collection of particles isolated from each other by rapidly-expanding space. This is called the {{w|Big Rip}}.
***In between the second and fourth curve there seems to be something in between where the universe expansion accelerates and then slows down again. We have so far seen the expansion rate decelerate in the early life of the universe where the gravity of the more compact universe slowed the expansion, but then this turned around to an {{w|Timeline_of_epochs_in_cosmology#Acceleration|acceleration}} after about 9 billion years as the distance between galaxy clusters became so large that dark energy became the dominant force, causing the universe expansion to accelerate. So who knows if this could change again... At present our understanding says that the universe expansion-rate will keep accelerating. But left to J. J. Abrams, then the outcome is unknown. These four options represents both what we have theories for and what J. J. might come up with.

==Transcript==
:[A large header is above the main drawing:]
:<big>'''Timeline of the Universe'''</big>

:[The drawing shows a diagram of the evolution of the universe from the Big Bang (left) to the present right with lines indicating possible futures continuing right of the main drawing. The drawing is that of a black horn of plenty, very thin to the left and then it becomes broader, mainly in steps but also slightly between each step. n a few places the diameter decreases a bit. Along the "tube" are segments divided with thin white lines, with about equal distance between them. The first 20 the tube is black, but then stars form, shown as many white dots, and finally in the last 3-4 segments galaxies are shown. At the top and bottom of the opening to the right there are four dashed lines which behaves the same way. Two points inward, two continue the trend from before they begin, two goes out fast again, and then falls back to slow increase, and two goes almost straight up and down. At the far left there is a line going in to a small dot. On the line before the dot are two questions mark. A line points to the dot which has a starburst around it. It represents the Big Bang. After this firs labeled point on the drawing there are mange other labeled sections with a line going from the label to a segment on the drawing. There are 9 above, 9 below and one at each end. The one at the right end pointing to the four dashed future lines at the top. From left to right in the order they are labeled on the timeline, the labels are:]
:??
:Big Bang
:[The Universe comes in as a circle with action lines around it. It stays the same size for a while.]
:Planck Epoch
:Medium Bang
:[The Universe starts inflating very slowly]
:Inflation
:[The Universe briefly inflates very rapidly, and returns to its normal rate of expansion.]
:Quark Epoch
:Lepton Epoch
:Photon Epoch
:Cool Bug Epoch
:[The Universe starts inflating and deflating rapidly, forming a series of bumps in the universe diagram like the grip on a hand tool.]
:Molded grip
:[Stars appear in the timeline. The Universe starts inflating slightly faster than before.]
:Stars form
:Stagflation
:[The Universe starts deflating slowly.]
:Settling
:Rebound
:[The Universe starts inflating slowly again.]
:Someone tripped and accidentally hit the "Inflation" switch again
:[The Universe starts inflating at the same rate as the Inflation section.]
:Emergency Stop triggered
:[The Universe abruptly stops inflating, and stays level.]
:[Galaxies appear in the timeline. The Universe starts inflating at a medium pace.]
:Galaxies form
:Earth forms
:Present day
:[We see the edge of the Universe, with a rounded shape. Various dotted line predictions are on the edges.]
:Future Cosmological development handed over to J.J. Abrams, outcome unknown

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Animals]] 
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2732: Bursa of Fabricius

2026-03-19T19:55:58Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 2732
| date = February 1, 2023
| title = Bursa of Fabricius
| image = bursa_of_fabricius_2x.png
| imagesize = 298x399px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If an anatomical structure is named for a person, it means they were the only person to have it. Pierre Paul Broca had a special area of his brain that created powerful magnetic fields, enabling him to do 19th century fMRI research.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|bursa of Fabricius}} is an organ found in birds that is necessary for the development of their immune systems.

This comic claims that the 16th century anatomist {{w|Hieronymus Fabricius}} (for whom the organ was named) had that organ and therefore was able to fly like a bird. However, despite being found only in birds, this organ does not in fact contribute directly to flight. Also, given that it only exists in birds, it is doubtful that Fabricius also independently had this same anatomical feature.

Many scientific and mathematical discoveries, including anatomical structures, are named after the people who discovered or described them. For example, the {{w|islets of Langerhans}} were discovered by Paul Langerhans. Likewise, rare diseases are often named for the doctor who first describes the disease to the medical community, or for a researcher who identifies the specifics involved. They may attempt to set their own name to it, for posterity, or they are later honored in this manner by those who recognize their vital contribution to the field, such as with {{w|Parkinson's disease#History|Parkinson's disease}}.

In other cases, rare diseases are named for the first or most famous (possibly even the only) person known to have had the disease. For instance {{w|ALS}} is commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease in the US because of baseball player {{w|Lou Gehrig}} having notably developed the condition. Outside of the US, it may be more known just as "amyotrophic lateral sclerosis" (alternatively "motor neurone disease") or, for simplicity, the initials ALS (or MND).

The title text continues with the idea from the comic claiming that anatomical structures are solely possessed by the human for which they are named, in another similar example. {{w|Pierre Paul Broca}}, a French physician, anatomist and anthropologist, was known for his research on what is now known as {{w|Broca's area}}, a region of the brain used for speech and language processing. The premise being that, having this feature, he was uniquely gifted with the special ability to created powerful magnetic fields, enabling him to do {{w|fMRI}} research in the 19th century. Later in the same year, Broca was again referenced in [[2780: Physical Quantities]].

Broca did not do fMRI research, a powerful method of non-intrusively imaging and analyzing the internal structures of the living human body (amongst other things), as it was not invented in his lifetime. Nor is it likely that this ability could be 'naturally' possessed by any individual, such as he. He did, however, physically study brains of known speech-impaired patients who had then subsequently died, determining what damage (in the area of the brain which was then to be named for him) was directly related to their specific group of ailments. Today, we can safely view this area in living people, using fMRI, and directly connect what we see with the current condition of patients. This increases our knowledge of the brain, as with the mythical abilities Randall gave Broca, but also possibly even allows us to help those currently under the effects of any observed damage (not necessarily possible by any 19th century physician, even with this superpowered form of vision to assist them).

In reality, if Broca was the only person to have ever possessed Broca's area then this might have meant that only he had ever had the power of speech (as we understand it), which would indeed give him a very special ability; but one begging a number of other vital questions, if only anybody else could have asked them...

==Transcript==
:[An almost bald man with hair around the neck and a full beard, is shown flying in the top right part of the image, swooping down from the sky with arms outstretched in front of him while yelling. Three dotted lines behind him indicate his path. Two people look up at him from the bottom left corner, a man with a wide-brimmed hat and a black haired woman with a scarf over her hair, which is hanging down behind her. She is holding both her hands up to her mouth. At the top of the panel there is text:]
:The '''''bursa of Fabricius''''' is a lymphoid organ found only in birds and in 16<sup>th</sup> century anatomist Hieronymus Fabricius, to whom it conferred the power of flight.
:Hieronymus Fabricius: ''Wheee''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Animals]]

spiral

2026-03-12T03:30:31Z

1234231587678: horrible orthography

{{comic
| title = spiral
[[File:spiral1.jpg]]
[[File:spiral2.jpg]]
[[File:spiral3.jpg]]
[[File:spiral4.jpg]]
[[File:spiral5.jpg]]
[[File:spiral6.jpg]]
[[File:spiral7.jpg]]
[[File:spiral8.jpg]]
[[File:spiral9.jpg]]
| lappend = spiral
| extra = no
| imagesize =
}}

==Explanation==
{{misc page}}

This page is linked from [[1488: Flowcharts]].

This appears to be a selection of images with the {{w|golden ratio}} spiral superimposed to display hidden meaning in their appearance. These spirals originate from a specialised point of the subjects and continue along some meaningful lines of the subject. The humour here is that he is putting the golden ratio on these seemingly random images, to show how ridiculous it is, in many cases, when artists or others superimpose a golden spiral on some specific picture to try to prove something 'significant' about the composition.

==Transcript==
:[Nine eclectically unrelated images are the only contents of this entire web-page, each overlaid with at least one golden spiral and the frame of squares that define its shape. All but one image are photos, and a number of them show subjects that might be considered quirky, or at least 'niche', even before the overlay is applied.]

:[A photo Weird Al Yankovic, wearing an "LA Dodgers" baseball cap, and a sports jacket. His head and eyes are askew in a deliberate 'wacky' pose. The spiral begins in one of his eyes and a significant part of the other his face matches the curve, the spiral's framing lines are angled even more skewed than his head.]

:[An old 1970s 'Batman'-themed water-pistol, shaped as Batman himself in a frankly disturbing pose. The spiral originates from the base of the 'crotch'-trigger, and the curve eventually closely matches the profile around the back of Batman, from the the thighs, over his cape-clad back and to his neck, the constructing grid being orthagonal to the image and the whole segmented spiral overlay sits neatly within the image edges.]

:[A besuited and smiling young man, perhaps dressed for a wedding reception, is holding a small portable sewing machine and standing in front of a scene in which three policemen stand in attendance of an apparent accident. A standard UPS delivery van has apparently reversed off the road and down an embankment, which it is now angled up. The spiral starts on one of the van's headlights and sort of aligns with the top bottom and one side of the inclined van's front, as well as across the face of the young man. The grid is aligned to the highly rotated truck front, closely matching its upper and lower edges and the the central pillar between the two-part front windows.]

:[A very limber cat, mostly white but patterned with light-gingerish splodges, is sprawled in a very relaxed-looking but typically feline spine-twisting pose, apparently on a leather sofa. The back of its head manages almost to rest its own groin, due to its apparently effortless contortions. Starting almost at the point of one of its eyes, the curve really only significantly matches the cat's back/side from its rear-legs/rump to its midriff, the constructive grid at a seemingly arbitrary angle.]

:[A stock photo of a young Bill Gates casually on top of an office desk, smiling, leaning on a monochrome (white-on-blue) computer monitor displaying something with the Microsoft Logo (1982-1987). Various other computers and peripherals are on another desk in the background, in front of a window showing a likely third/fourth-storey view onto a possibly snow-dusted campus-like location with a pine forest stand visible in the near distance. Spiralling from the eye of Bill Gates, the curve toys with following some of his hair, but seems to mostly have been allowed to eventually align to the lower hem of the cream sweater he is wearing. The spiral's frame may have been rotated to intersect various edges of computer monitors, but is otherwise angled fairly arbitrary and not particularly precisely with the subjects head.]

:[Vladimir Putin, posed barechested and holding a fishing rod in a forest/river setting, perhaps one of his (in)famous and (maybe) unintentionally homoerotic calendar shoots from the 2010s. The spiral starts on one of his nipples, with a few incidental contacts with his body (e.g. his man-cleavage and angled forearm), but the main congruence seeminly being the underside of the bush-hat he's wearing. The framework is orthogonal, with particular additional relationship to the underlying image.]

:[A bright-eyed Joe Biden, toothily smiling into the camera in a likely publicity shot from his time as Vice-President. There are two counterrotating spirals, both originating from the same spot near the corner of one of his eyes, one of which tries to match the shape of his lower lip, the other seems to be keyed to the top of his thin but tidy grey-white head of hair. The framing scaffoldings are orthagonal but effectively perpendicular to each other, in an almost perfect 45° reflective relationship.]

:[The only image that is not a photographic scene, it is a scan or screen-shot of a road-atlas style map, mostly of parts of Massachusetts. It primarily encompasses Cape Cod and Boston. The spiral originates in the rough centre of Cape Cod Bay (not labeled) then spirals round to follow the geographically-curved shape of Cape Cod itself past Provincetown and Orleans, before cutting out across both land and sea, via Falmouth, up through Taunton and almost straight through the centre of Boston, just barely skirting Massachusetts Bay itself on the landward side, before exiting back to sea heading out towards the Gulf Of Maine to the north-east at the extreme top of the image. The skewed grid, for the spiral is slightly off-orthagonal.]

:[Another cat, with an orange-with-white mackeral coat, laid on a possibly wooden-effect laminate flooring, apparently at ease or (from the tail) pleasantly excited/playful. Its head is currently fully inserted (neck-to-neck) into a 'horse head' toy, possibly latex, with a fiberous mane and in a tanned/red hue that blends well with the cat's own fur. It is smaller than any actual horse-head would be, but still looks to be roughly the same volume as the uncovered part of the cat's body and has a mouth-open and visibly staring eye that gives the impression of the whole 'cat-horse' chimera-creature being startled. There are three different spirals superimposed. One starts on the floor below the outstretched rear legs to conform with the cat's belly and the back of its nearest foreleg. The second originates within its body, in order to follow the curve of its back and down behind the most outstretched rear paw. Its third spiral is set 'behind'/above its tail to somwhat follow the underside of its curved tail, to the back, in a curve that is a 180-degree rotation around its contact point with the second spiral, while the first 'fits' to the second at right-angles, and centre-to-edge (to within almost the width of the lines involved) as far as the alignment of the grids are concerned.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Extra pages]]

1641: Hot Dogs

2026-03-12T02:46:05Z

1234231587678:

{{comic
| number = 1641
| date = February 10, 2016
| title = Hot Dogs
| image = hot_dogs.png
| titletext = Okay, I'm just gonna order pizza, and let's never talk about this again.
}}

==Explanation==
A common staple of trite comedy is "why do hot dogs come in packages of ten but hot dog ''buns'' in bags of eight?" The phenomenon is mildly frustrating for the consumer, as it often leaves leftover food. The most sinister result is the subsequent purchase of more buns, followed by more hot dogs, followed by more buns, over and over again until forty total hot dogs have been eaten (in a cycle similar to that shown in [[140: Delicious]]).

The actual reason for the mismatch between hot dogs and buns, according to both [http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/11/dont-hot-dogs-hot-dog-buns-come-packs-number-start/ Karl Smallwood] and [http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/560/why-do-hot-dogs-come-10-to-a-pack-while-buns-are-8-to-a-pack Cecil Adams], is that meat packers like things that come in pounds and bakers hate things that come in tens. Nonetheless, some smaller companies are starting to offer bags of ten buns, and several brands of hot dogs sell in packages of eight.

Here, [[Cueball]] attempts to raise the question as he is standing with a package of {{w|hot dogs}} in one hand and a bag of {{w|Hot dog bun|buns}} in the other hand (presumably for their dinner), but a person offscreen interrupts him mid sentence and mentions {{w|condoms}} instead of buns. Cueball mulls the subject over in his mind, and when he realizes his friend is putting hot dogs in condoms, he is promptly grossed out.

The title text makes it clear that Cueball's new found association of [http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/hotdog.asp hot dogs with sexual activity], has put him totally off the idea of eating any of them this evening, and he suggests ordering {{w|pizza}}, which he then can hope will not be used for this similar ('''{{w|Not safe for work|NSFW}}''') [http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5943/pizza-sex-tip/ comparisons]… Cueball also asks that he and his friend never discuss this conversation again, due to the situation's awkwardness and uncomfortable subject matter.

The style of the conversation with Cueball asking, someone answering and Cueball saying ''Eww'' is similar to a situation in the game comic [[1608: Hoverboard]] where a [[Media:1608_1078x1095y_Ant_Queen_in_Destroyer.png|giant ant queen]] inside the Destroyer is provoking Cueball in the same way by talking about laying eggs like this:
:Cueball: What's up?
:Ant queen: The usual. Poopin' out ants.
:Cueball: Eww.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing in the frame holding a bag and a package of hot dogs.]
:Cueball: Hey, why do hot dogs come in packages of ten—
:Offscreen: —But condoms come in strips of six? I know, right?!
:Cueball: ...Eww.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Food]]