{{comic
| number = 1156
| date = January 4, 2013
| title = Conditioning
| image = conditioning.png
| titletext = 'Why are you standing in the yard wearing a papal hat and a robe covered in seeds?' 'Well, the Pope is visiting our town next month ...'
}}

==Explanation==
Herein, the author devises a method of addressing the issue of drivers who turn up their music to irritating levels which usually results in a lot of bass coming from the car — the low frequencies being the ones that most easily penetrate the car and travel further, thus being more audible to those around the car.

As the title suggests, the idea is to {{w|Classical conditioning|condition}} animals to respond to a thumping bass. The machine is described as working as follows: every few hours, the bass would turn on, and the box would dispense food behind an opening designed to look like an open car window. Over time, local wildlife would flock to the box to get the food from inside, and would become trained that the sound of a subwoofer means that they can get food by flying through a car window.. Eventually, the animals would respond to any low music, including that played by cars.

The end result would be that the local wildlife would approach, and presumably attempt to enter, any car that has that same thumping bass. Drivers, in turn, would cease to turn up their music in order to prevent the groups of animals from chasing after their cars, thus solving the problem of annoyingly loud bass. This behavior modification can itself be seen as a {{w|Operant conditioning|somewhat different form of conditioning}}.

Although this plan may seem far-fetched, a similar scheme was seriously proposed in Britain during the First World War to condition seagulls to associate a submarine's periscope with food, which would give away the locations of enemy submarines as the gulls flocked to their periscopes being raised.

The title text is a dialogue about using a similar method of conditioning to send animals after the Pope. Why someone would want that to happen is left to the reader's imagination.

==Transcript==
:Every few hours, subwoofer plays throbbing bass for 10 seconds... [With arrow pointing to subwoofer.]
:...then bread crumbs are dispensed into box [With arrow pointing to bread feeder machine.]
:Opening [With arrow pointing to feeder opening shaped like a driver side car window.]
:Local wildlife [With arrows pointing to birds and a squirrel.]
:Protip: Leave this device in your yard for a week, then watch as the problem of loud music from passing cars solves itself.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Protip]]

1427: iOS Keyboard

2014-09-29T12:31:59Z

141.101.98.243:

{{comic
| number = 1427
| date = September 29, 2014
| title = iOS Keyboard
| image = ios_keyboard.png
| titletext = More actual results: 'Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You [are the best. The best thing ever]', 'Revenge is a dish best served [by a group of people in my room]', and 'They may take our lives, but they'll never take our [money].'
}}

==Explanation==
It looks like [[Randall]] has been playing with his Apple device after installing the recently released {{w|iOS 8}} update. The comic is referencing the autocomplete function on the iOS virtual [[1031:_s/keyboard/leopard/|leopard]] (a comparable feature is also available on other operating systems, like Android). When the phrase, for example, 'Revenge is a dish best served' is typed, the leopard will suggest 'by', followed by 'a', then 'group' and so on.

The following movies are referenced:
:{{w|Sherlock_Holmes#.22Elementary.2C_my_dear_Watson.22|Sherlock Holmes}}: Elementary, my dear Watson (paraphrased in several movies, never actually used in the books)
:[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086250/quotes Scarface (1983)]: You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!
:[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032138/quotes The Wizard of Oz (1939)]: Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.
:[http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0000007/quotes James Bond]: Bond, James Bond. (nothing follows)
:[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379786/quotes Serenity (2005)]: I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar.
:[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089218/quotes The Goonies (1985)]: Goonies never say die!
:[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120737/quotes The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)]: You have my sword... And you have my bow. And *my* axe.
:[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093779/quotes The Princess Bride (1987)]: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
:{{w|Revenge#Proverbs|Revenge is a dish best served cold}} (several movies, with variations, and books before that)
:[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112573/quotes Braveheart (1995)]: ...they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!

An older comic [[1068: Swiftkey]] is also about keyboard predictions, but without any preceding text (by the Swiftkey keyboard application instead of by the iOS 8 keyboard).

==Transcript==
Movie Quotes
:[typed on an iPhone] Elementary, my dear
:[suggested by the virtual keyboard] Friend | Lord | Friends
According to iOS 8 keyboard predictions
:Say hello to my little [sister and my mom and my dad and my friends]
:Toto, I've a feeling we're not [going to the gym today]
:Bond, James Bond [yields]
:I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch [me play my piano]
:Goonies never say [anything]
:You have my sword. And my bow. And my [dad]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Firefly]]

1409: Query

2014-08-25T12:28:59Z

141.101.98.243: /* Explanation */ added demographic percentages

{{comic
| number = 1409
| date = August 17, 2014
| title = Query
| image = query.png
| titletext = SELECT * FROM GHOSTS
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] picks up a strange device that mysteriously asks her to enter a query after stating "LOADED TABLE: PEOPLE / ENTER QUERY." In computer databases, "{{w|Table (database)|tables}}" are groups of similar information consisting of records each having certain attributes. Databases are generally made up of many tables, each containing different types of records. A database for a traditional library might have a "Books" table and a "Cardholders" table with records of all of the books in the library, and all of the people who have library cards. Each table will have different columns for certain attributes for every record. For example, the "Books" table might have columns for "title", "author", "date", etc.

A request from a database by a user is called a "query". {{w|SQL}} (Structured Query Language) is a programming language designed for databases, and has a certain syntax for its queries. A common query is "select" which requests certain information from the database. In the library example, one might select (in plain English) all books written by a certain author or published after a certain date, etc.

Megan uses the device by entering an SQL query into it: "SELECT * FROM PEOPLE WHERE AGE > 30" (show all the people older than 30). It appears that the actual people around her who are over 30 are wrapped in a yellow light, which does not apply to Megan in this query. Megan then tries other experimental queries, presumably to determine whether the results are correct. First, she queries for people with a high annual income (a group that does not include her), then for those who are afraid of flying (which does include her). Because the results for herself are valid both times, she then indulges her curiosity by asking who has watched porn in the preceding twelve hours. This suggests that whatever "database" she is accessing is extremely thorough as it contains updated records of people's day-to-day activities.

The percentage of people lit appears to approximately correspond to real demographic data: note, 5 of the 10 characters are female; the median world/US age are fairly close to 30; top decile income in the USA is approximately $100,000 (and top earners are usually men); up to 40% of people are afraid of flying.

Finally, she types "DROP TABLE PEOPLE". Drop is an SQL command to delete a table. When she enters the command the entire table disappears and because she is also in this table she disappears, too. The implications are unclear. It may be a suggestion that all of reality is a computer program, all of the people are merely "data" in the program, and Megan was somehow granted access to the database for the program. It could also be an allusion to the fact that human life is so rich, diverse & interesting, but also, extremely fragile. Someone who controls much power can, simply with the press of a few buttons, erase everything that thousands or millions of people had worked so hard on.

When everything that everyone carried (cell phones, ice cream cones) drop to the ground, the tablet Megan originally found falls to the same spot it was in the first panel. Perhaps this cycle has repeated itself before, with the mysterious device on the ground, a group of people ambling in, and then someone like Megan picking up the tablet and starting the process all over again.

There is a subtle pun included here. If we were to assume that the device ''physically contains'' the table "people". When Megan tasks the device with dropping the table, it not only causes the data table to be dropped, but also the physical storage itself to be dropped.

The title text suggests the possibility that when the people disappeared or "died", their records were moved to a table called "GHOSTS". The query would then, presumably, see all the people that were deleted. In some implementations of databases deleted records are still hidden and remain until a "Ghost Cleanup Process" removes the data permanently. The title text may also allude to this process.

==Transcript==
:[Megan picks up a device.]
:Device: ''LOADED TABLE: PEOPLE''
:Device: ''ENTER QUERY''

:[Megan looks around and sees nine people nearby.]

:[Megan types into the device:] SELECT * FROM PEOPLE WHERE AGE > 30

:[Five people are highlighted.]

:[Megan types:] SELECT * FROM PEOPLE WHERE ANNUAL_INCOME > 100 000

:[One person is highlighted.]

:[Megan types:] SELECT * FROM PEOPLE WHERE AFRAID_OF_FLYING = TRUE

:[Four people, including herself, are highlighted.]

:[Megan types:] SELECT * FROM PEOPLE WHERE HOURS_SINCE_WATCHING_PORN < 12

:[Three people are highlighted.]

:Megan: Neat
:Megan: ...
:[Megan types:] DROP TABLE PEOPLE

:[Everyone disappears; the items they were holding drop to the ground.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]