explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:3045: AlphaMove

2025-02-03T19:38:48Z

162.158.155.102:

Ask Tom Murphy VII to get on this [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.103|141.101.99.103]] 22:50, 31 January 2025 (UTC)

This has actually been done and tested against other strange algorithms:
https://youtu.be/DpXy041BIlA?t=729

I have attempted to run the proposed bot against itself — if I haven't made any errors, here are the resulting games:

Rounding down:
1. e4 e6 2. f3 f5 3. e5 g5 4. d4 d5 5. exd6 g4 6. d7+ Kf7 7. dxc8=N Ke8 8. fxg4 h6 9. gxf5 Kd7 10. g4 h5 11. fxe6+ Ke8 12. g5 Na6 13. h3 Nc5 14. h4 Ne7 15. Kd2 Ne4+ 16. Ke1 Nf5 17. g6 Nf6 18. g7 Ng3 19. gxf8=N Nge4 20. Ke2 Ng4 21. Kf3 Ngf2 22. Ke2 Nh3 23. Ke3 Nhf2 24. Nb6 Nh3 25. Na4 Nhf2 26. Nac3 Nxc3 27. Kxf2 Nxd1+ 28. Kf3 Qc8 29. c4 Ne3 30. Ke4 Nf5 31. Kd3 Ng3 32. e7 Nxh1 33. Kc2 Qb8 34. d5 Kxe7 35. d6+ Kf6 36. dxc7 Nf2 37. c8=R Ng4 38. Kd2 Nh2 39. Ke3 Ng4+ 40. Kd4 Nh2 41. Kd5 Nxf1 42. Nc3 Nh2 43. Nce2 Ng4 44. Nd4 Nh6 45. Nd7+ Kf7 46. Ndf3 Qd6+ 47. Ke4 Qd2 48. Nf8 Qd5+ 49. Ke3 Qd2+ 50. Ke4 Qd5+ 51. Ke3 Qd2+ 52. Ke4

Rounding up:
1. f3 f5 2. e4 f4 3. d4 e6 4. e5 g6 5. g3 fxg3 6. c3 g2 7. d5 gxf1=Q+ 8. Kxf1 exd5 9. Ke2 d6 10. Kd3 g5 11. Kd2 dxe5 12. Ke2 d4 13. Kd3 dxc3+ 14. Ke3 e4 15. Ne2 exf3 16. Ng1 f2 17. Nxc3 fxg1=N 18. Qc2 Kd7 19. Ne2 h6 20. Qa4+ Ke6 21. Qb3+ Ke7 22. Qb4+ Ke8 23. Qb5+ Kf7 24. Qa6 Kg7 25. Qa4 Kg6 26. Qb3 Kg7 27. Qb4 Kh7 28. Qb5 Kg7 29. Qa6 Nc6 30. Nxg1 Na5 31. Qb6 Kh7 32. Qb3 Kg6 33. Qb4 Kg7 34. Qb6 Kh7 35. Qb3 Kg6 36. Qb4 Kg7 37. Qb6

Rounding down code:
const { Chess } = require("chess.js");

const chess = new Chess();
while (!chess.isGameOver()) {
const moves = chess.moves();
moves.sort((a, b) => b.localeCompare(a));
const move = moves[Math.floor(moves.length / 2)];
chess.move(move);
}
console.log(chess.pgn());

To round up, swap the a and b in the sort function.

Both games end in a threefold repetition draw. The game with rounding down does, in fact, have 6 knights in it, so I believe he did code this to see what would happen.

[[User:Ohpointfive|Ohpointfive]] ([[User talk:Ohpointfive|talk]]) 22:52, 31 January 2025 (UTC)

To elaborate on the Tom VII point - this is the YouTube video that possibly inspired the comic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpXy041BIlA

[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.179|141.101.98.179]] 22:55, 31 January 2025 (UTC)
:Specifically, it's the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpXy041BIlA&t=1483 Arithmetic Player at 24:43] set to ½. [[User:ChaoticNeutralCzech|ChaoticNeutralCzech]] ([[User talk:ChaoticNeutralCzech|talk]]) 17:52, 1 February 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunately for white, it's mate in 1 with Bb4# [[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.124|162.158.90.124]] 23:25, 31 January 2025 (UTC)

Even if white makes a different move, its still forced mate in one. RIP XKCD Bot. [[User:Redacted II|Redacted II]] ([[User talk:Redacted II|talk]]) 00:53, 1 February 2025 (UTC)
:Well, for most options. Queen to a4 puts Black in check, forestalling an immediate move to mate White; capturing the knight de-threatens enough squares around the king that Black can't check next turn without leaving an escape route. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.176.28|172.70.176.28]] 17:45, 1 February 2025 (UTC)

<s>Although it wouldn't change the outcome much (either by changing black's move or white's general options), I'm currently not understanding why Kd4 isn't on the list of options at this point in time. So long since I played serious(ish) chess, and the only reason I could think of is that it's probibited by some strict ortbodox game rule recognising the ''potential'' moving of the knight out of the way (in the next white move-cycle). But I'd have treated that later option as forbidden, as a revealing-mate. But, as I said, it's been a while, so maybe I'm just blind to something like a sweeping bishop-range that disbars this (much as the near knight, bishop and pawn disbars four out of the five moves).</s> ...darn, it's just clicked. That's the AlphaMoved white-knight's destination (before that, the black queen was entirely covering that square, and double-teaming one of the adjacent black-knight covered squares), I'd been thinking that was the piece's origin (with the empty highlighted square as its destination) until I'd finally read the highlighted movelist item properly and deciphered it as Knight To King Two (done), not the (intention of) Knight To King's Bishop One. So ignore the above. Although, just to note, for the Black Queen to have even achieved that position would probably have required at least ''one'' normally-sacrificial exposure to the deadly white Q/B/R pieces guarding the obvious entry, give or take the algorithmic development of their (and the "gateway pawns"') current positions. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.104|141.101.99.104]] 02:00, 1 February 2025 (UTC)
:Follow-up... As far as the black queen is concerned, I suppose she could have done d6, (x?)g3 then f2, in-between the other black and white moves made, largely safe from the white 'defence'. Or to d4 then f2, if white Queen's Pawn was shielding still. (Appears to have been taken, but it would have been bold to have done that with the queen, for a normally immediate pawn-queen exhange!) A bolder/more opportunistic set of moves than I would have tried, either. Even (unknowingly) against AlphaMove, I'd have been wary of the unconventionally developing white disposition actually being an idiot-trap (and I'm really not that far off being an idiot, insofar as chess). [[Special:Contributions/172.70.162.162|172.70.162.162]] 02:17, 1 February 2025 (UTC)

The explanation gives both O-O and 0-0 as notations for castling and then explains why 0-0 can never occur, even though O-O can be sorted pretty centrally. So, which is the correct notation? [[Special:Contributions/172.71.250.91|172.71.250.91]] 09:14, 1 February 2025 (UTC)
:According to the [https://ia802908.us.archive.org/26/items/pgn-standard-1994-03-12/PGN_standard_1994-03-12.txt pgn spec], section 8.2.3.3: they are capital Os and not zeros [[Special:Contributions/172.68.3.96|172.68.3.96]] 15:10, 1 February 2025 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure we're looking at a retrograde puzzle. [[User:Ohpointfive|Ohpointfive]] is onto something here, with the six knights on the board a strong indicator. The question is, of course, where is the joke? White plays Alphamove all along and must have started with e4 (rounding down) or f3 (rounding up). Both are consistent with the end position. So from my point of view, the joke is
* either that the "stronger engine" is not a strong engine at all but maybe the same algorithm, rounding up instead of down
* or that black doesn't win this position (in real chess, White is of course toast) because its algorithm is even worse
@Ohpointfive, could you run the two versions against each other? --[[User:Pganon|Pganon]] ([[User talk:Pganon|talk]]) 15:55, 1 February 2025 (UTC)

I created a playable version of this game in like 10 minutes using ChatGPT ;)

https://enn-nafnlaus.github.io/AlphaMove/alphamove.html

Git page here:

https://github.com/enn-nafnlaus/AlphaMove

-- [[User:Rei|Rei]] 17:52, 1 February 2025 (UTC)

I checked, castling and en passant both work. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.245.25|172.68.245.25]] 19:26, 1 February 2025 (UTC)

@Pganon certainly:
White rounding down vs. black rounding up:
1. e4 f5 2. f3 f4 3. d4 e6 4. e5 g6 5. d5 exd5 6. g3 fxg3 7. c4 g2 8. h3 gxf1=Q+ 9. Kd2 Kf7 10. Kc3 Ke8 11. Kc2 Kf7 12. Kb3 Ke8 13. Kc2 Kf7 14. Kb3 Ke8 15. Kc2
White rounding up vs. black rounding down:
1. f3 e6 2. e4 f5 3. e5 g5 4. d4 d5 5. f4 gxf4 6. h3 h5 7. h4 Kd7 8. Kd2 Kc6 9. Kd3 Kb6 10. Ke2 Kb5 11. Ke1+ Kb4 12. Ke2 Kb5 13. Ke1+ Kb4 14. Ke2 Kb5

The first game is quite exciting, with black at one point having a chance at checkmate in one, but alas too many available pawn moves drives the winning move Qxc4# far past the center of the list. The second game is much less exciting.

[[User:Ohpointfive|Ohpointfive]] ([[User talk:Ohpointfive|talk]]) 21:30, 1 February 2025 (UTC)

Here's a question: What is the quickest way to checkmate AlphaMove? Here's the quickest that I have found so far:
# f3 d5
# e4 d5xe4
# f4 e5
# g3 Bg4
# d4 Qxd4
# f5 e3
# f6 Qxd1#
Thus, we have mate in seven. This might be good to mention outside the comments section as a demonstration tha AlphaGo is not very good (not to mention failing to attack black's queen with a less valuable piece), but a quicker checkmate might be possible, in which case we should mention that instead.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.207.159|172.70.207.159]] 11:08, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

: Checkmating Alphamove is easy. Getting checkmated *by* Alphamove is challenging. You basically have to forget everything you know about normal chess. -- [[User:Rei|Rei]] ([[User talk:Rei|talk]]) 14:48, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

:: Fastest mate against Alphamove playing Black 3 moves (natural max), White 5 moves (exhaustive search), selfmate 9 moves - problem composers and mathematicians solve that in a jiffy. See here: https://chess.stackexchange.com/questions/46651/fastest-win-against-xkcds-alphamove [[Special:Contributions/172.70.248.29|172.70.248.29]] 09:11, 3 February 2025 (UTC)

One possible move, Kd2, is missing! /[[Special:Contributions/141.101.76.164|141.101.76.164]] 17:41, 2 February 2025 (UTC)
:That can't be done. The Knight isn't between d2 and the Q@f2 at the point that the moves are being compiled. The Ne2 hasn't happened yet (we now see it, as having moved there, ''as a result'' of Ne2 being selected from the list, so ''next'' turn the King could move there, assuming the game isn't lost (or black decides to do something ''else'' which prevents it, for some strange reason). [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.25|162.158.74.25]] 18:47, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

I [https://lichess.org/analysis/r1b1k2r/1pp1nppp/8/p1b1p3/2PnpP1P/2K5/PP3q2/RNBQ1BNR_w_kq_-_0_1?color=white put the position before White's move into Lichess] and it says it's mate in 12 for Black.

On a related note, I'm also wondering how they got to the comic position in the first place. Anyone want to try constructing a proof game? [[User:Arcorann|Arcorann]] ([[User talk:Arcorann|talk]]) 03:30, 3 February 2025 (UTC)

A lot of the explanation is based on a round-up version of AlphaMove. It should round down for even lists like the title text saysi. The [https://enn-nafnlaus.github.io/AlphaMove/alphamove.html example implementation] is wrong too. The first move should be e4, not f3. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.187.55|162.158.187.55]] 07:25, 3 February 2025 (UTC)

If there ever was an explanation that needed to be broken up into three paragraphs and a Detail section, this is it. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.142.30|172.71.142.30]] 17:19, 3 February 2025 (UTC)

[[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.102|162.158.155.102]] 19:38, 3 February 2025 (UTC) It is not mentioned what happens when there is a tie for the middle move (for an even number of possible moves). Is it then chosen "at random"?

Talk:2379: Probability Comparisons

2020-11-02T02:47:36Z

162.158.155.102: /* Hemispheres and Seasons */

(Sidenote: for the 88% entry in the comic, "outside" is misspelled as "outide" as of the current moment.)

What's the best way to organize the explanations for this comic, when they begin to be added? By the order they're listed in the comic? That seems inefficient, since presumably many of the entries can be answered as a group by a single explanation. If they should be grouped, how should they be grouped? --[[User:V2Blast|V2Blast]] ([[User talk:V2Blast|talk]]) 03:59, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
: The table I added is sortable. You could add a "type" column of some sort and users could sort by that if they want. [[User:Captain Video|Captain Video]] ([[User talk:Captain Video|talk]]) 04:42, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
There's a discrepancy between the version here and the current official version. Here, 0.2% has the red M&Ms thing paired with the odds of drawing a flush in poker ("you draw 5 cards and they're all the same suit"); the official version has it with "You draw 2 random Scrabble tiles and get M and M." Here, the latter piece of information is at 0.1%, and there the 0.1% item is "Three randomly chosen people are all left-handed." I'm guessing we have an old version of the page? [[User:Captain Video|Captain Video]] ([[User talk:Captain Video|talk]]) 06:03, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
: Updated. [[User:Natg19|Natg19]] ([[User talk:Natg19|talk]]) 08:29, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
:: Cool, thanks. [[User:Captain Video|Captain Video]] ([[User talk:Captain Video|talk]]) 01:22, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

Wouldn't the Lord of the rings one be, technically, 67%, since 66.6666666... rounds to 67%, not 66? Also, we should really add a better comment interface. [[User:BarnZarn|BarnZarn]] ([[User talk:BarnZarn|talk]]) 06:28, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
: The same goes for the next entry, imho, since LOTR-one is 2 out of 3 movies and the dice rolls are 4 out of 6, which comes down to the exact same percentage.

Hooray, xkcd is finally xkcd again! For the last fifty strips it’s basically been lighter SMBC. Yay Randall!

Also, if anyone wants to read something very English and very horrible, https://endicottstudio.typepad.com/poetrylist/the-white-road-by-neil-gaiman.html. [[User:Lightcaller|Lightcaller]] ([[User talk:Lightcaller|talk]]) 07:21, 31 October 2020 (UTC)

I have to think the second to last is off. First, what is meant by "just been"? Minutes, hours, days? Second, does anyone know the correct number of 10-digit phone numbers that are answered by people named "Barack Obama" (as pronounced, not spelled)? I remember that Obama had a cell, and including the phones in his office and his bedroom (separate #'s), so during his term, that's at least 3. [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 15:50, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
:first of all, this is no longer his term, so the number of phone numbers he has nowadays might be different. Also, the scenario requires him to pick up the phone, and he probably wouldn't simultaneously be available to pick up a phone in both his office and bedroom, and unless it's a cell phone, only a fraction of the time would he be there. Also, like many people, he might not answer calls from unknown numbers, or he may have a secretary or someone screening his calls. Judging from the following line though, the calculations used here probably just used 1 in 10 billion for that value, leaving only the "just been an 8.0 earthquake in Calfornia" part.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.124|108.162.216.124]] 09:12, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

:Isn't the second to last entry really just a sneaky way of listing the probability of a magnitude 8 earthquake having just occurred in California? The entry says nothing about Barack Obama actually answering the phone, nor even that the number dialed being Barack Obama's. If agreed, then can the explanation in the table be updated? If disagreeing, then I'd appreciate you pointing out where I'm in error.

:Could Obama's phone number be referring to when he Tweeted a phone number to text him at in late September[https://twitter.com/BarackObama/status/1308769164190941187]? And so the chance of it being the correct number is much higher? [[User:B. A. Beder|B. A. Beder]] ([[User talk:B. A. Beder|talk]]) 01:09, 2 November 2020 (UTC)

guys i have never edited the transcript section im scared. — [[User:Sqrt-1|The 𝗦𝗾𝗿𝘁-𝟭]] [[User talk:Sqrt-1|talk]] [[Special:Contributions/Sqrt-1|stalk]] 16:36, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
:This comic has so many American jokes and brands I can't understand this... I found this from [https://math.stackexchange.com/questions/1263600/probability-of-picking-up-two-mms-of-same-color-randomly mathematics stack exchange] and that helped me understand what this M&M stuff is... — [[User:Sqrt-1|The 𝗦𝗾𝗿𝘁-𝟭]] [[User talk:Sqrt-1|talk]] [[Special:Contributions/Sqrt-1|stalk]] 16:39, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
::Alright, I if the only colours are red green and blue how can there be fucking yellow or brown godammit I give up someone else do this shit AHAHAHA — [[User:Sqrt-1|The 𝗦𝗾𝗿𝘁-𝟭]] [[User talk:Sqrt-1|talk]] [[Special:Contributions/Sqrt-1|stalk]] 16:45, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
:::There are currently 6 colors, blue, red, brown, yellow, green and orange. Each comes in different ratios, for some reason. If there were all the same ratio, then getting 2 that are both red would be 1/36=2.777%, so red is below average. [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 00:58, 1 November 2020 (UTC)
::::The colors used to be different a number of years ago. I forget what year, but they had a contest for people to vote on a new M&M flavor. They had people vote between blue, pink, and purple. I guess blue won as both pink and purple are considered girly colors and blue is considered manly, but the presencee of two girly colors split the vote for that. At the same time they got rid of there having used to be light brown M&Ms, and for a while they had commercials with blue M&Ms singing the blues. Anyway, I also read speculation the reason some colors are more common is they put less of the ones where the dye they use is more expensive, though I'm not sure if that's accurate.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.124|108.162.216.124]] 09:07, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

I don't understand the "You share a birthday with two US Senators" as being 4%. If there is only one pair of U.S. Senators with the same birthday, then your chance of sharing a birthday with them would be 1/365 (~0.27%). --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.143|162.158.74.143]] 20:25, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
:I'm not certain of the math offhand, but it is the odds of randomly sharing a birthday with 2 out of 100 Senators. Not that just a pair shares one with you. Although all this birthday talk ignores Feb 29 births. [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 00:58, 1 November 2020 (UTC)
::I just noticed the note about there being 9 days that have a pair of Senators sharing a birthday. Does the 4% take that into consideration? [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 01:08, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

Um... in the Trivia section, someone wrote:

"the 67% probability of rolling at least a 3 with a D6 is correct. "At least a 3" means a 3, 4, 5, or 6."

Four out of six is ~67%, right? Please don't tell me I've forgotten basic maths. I'm going to delete that section, but feel free to add it back in if I'm just being an idiot. [[User:BlackHat|BlackHat]] ([[User talk:BlackHat|talk]]) 22:28, 31 October 2020 (UTC)

The explanation for the Social Security Number is wrong- it should be that there are ten possible digits for each of the four digits you're trying to guess. The number of digits in a SSN doesn't matter since the comic specifies you're only guessing the last four. [[User:Duraludon|Duraludon]] ([[User talk:Duraludon|talk]]) 00:59, 1 November 2020 (UTC)
:In addition, there are no valid SSN's with any group as all zeros, so there are only 9999 valid numbers to guess at. Still close enough to .01% [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 13:21, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

XKCD comics are getting later and later in the (American) day. This one was posted Sunday the 1st, from the point of view of us Aussies. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.119.159|162.158.119.159]] 01:40, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

== 2/3 = both 66% and 67%? ==

I get picking either 66% or 67% as a rounding for 2/3 but to have one of each?? Is there any actual reason for this?

<blockquote>66% A randomly chosen movie from the main Lord of the Rings trilogy has “of the” in the title twice 67% You roll at least a 3 with a d6</blockquote>

[[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.152|162.158.79.152]] 21:40, 31 October 2020 (UTC)

I wonder what time frame he meant for there "just" having been an earthquake in California.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.124|108.162.216.124]] 09:03, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

Angus King is from Maine, that’s ME not MN. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.200|108.162.219.200]] 14:43, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

== Do we do calculus? ==

I think I've got how Randall did the birthday party/free-throw calculations, but it's kind of math-intensive. How much should I put in the explanation column? It's quite easier to explain with summations, but that requires a lot of background to someone who doesn't know calculus (i.e., probably a lot of people who read this). Should I forego the sum entirely? Should I say "the proof is by magic"? Also, at least some of this is stemming from the fact that I have no clue how one would insert a summation sigma into the editing, and I'm too afraid to try it. I'll write it with a bunch of plus signs (basically a sum, but longhand notation) until somebody decides to step in and clean it up. [[User:BlackHat|BlackHat]] ([[User talk:BlackHat|talk]]) 18:05, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

== Let's talk M&Ms ==

I'm beginning to think Randall is nerd-sniping us, because none of the values for M&M colours seem to line up with his source. The easiest example to demonstrate is '77% : An M&M is not blue'. '''Nowhere in the article is there a value which rounds to 23% for blue M&Ms.''' Most of the other calculations also seem to have small-scale differences, and a few have differences so big only using the 95% confidence interval values help. Can anybody figure out his line of reasoning with this? [[User:BlackHat|BlackHat]] ([[User talk:BlackHat|talk]]) 19:12, 1 November 2020 (UTC)
:You have to remember that 87% of all stats are made up. [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 21:24, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

== Hemispheres and Seasons ==

Should there be a note of the fact that the summer/winter percentages are only true in the northern hemisphere? In the southern hemisphere, where summer is December-February and winter is June-August, the figures should be reversed (and at the equator, summer and winter don't really exist). [[Special:Contributions/172.68.86.114|172.68.86.114]] 21:49, 1 November 2020 (UTC)
:I'm not entirely sure ''which'' season boundaries are being espoused. Equinox/Solstice ones (summer starts on "mid-summer's day", ''sic''), mid-way between adjacent equinoces/solstices (mid-summer's day ''is'' exactly half way through summer), meteorlogical (groupings of three calendar months)..? I suspect the latter, to provide the off-quarter values from almost continually variable month-lengths, but the other two (in conjunction with the elliptical orbit of the Earth changing the rate each phase of oscillation made by the ecliptic) would be a far more scientific reason worthy of Randall. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.102|162.158.155.102]] 02:47, 2 November 2020 (UTC)

Talk:2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-29T18:13:30Z

162.158.155.102: Adding alternative explanation for "the only phone you'll ever own"

Is there any way to install the Vengaboys feature on my own phone? It's pure genius
::(Above unsigned comment was clearly being replied to by the following. Tidying up by moving my own signed comment about coatings.) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.171|162.158.158.171]] 12:39, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
:Perhaps by taking data from infrared sensors and microphones, an app could automatically start the song? Might have some interesting copyright issues, tho idk how those things work … [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.124|162.158.63.124]] 23:57, 26 October 2020 (UTC)

If it's coated for easy swallowing, perhaps it's actually a tablet... [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.54|162.158.155.54]] 22:50, 26 October 2020 (UTC)
:Now officially entered in Explanation. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.171|162.158.158.171]] 12:39, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
::This could be a reference to the recently-released Animaniacs reboot trailer, where the Warner kids are shown a tablet (probably an iPad) that looks like it's on Wikipedia and told that it contains the sum of all human knowledge. Yakko then takes the tablet, puts it in a comically large glass of water, swallows the water and tablet in one gulp, and then seems to have absorbed all of the knowledge. [[User:Duraludon|Duraludon]] ([[User talk:Duraludon|talk]]) 17:34, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

Disabling the screen is a real feature (though it's called screen curtain on iOS https://support.apple.com/en-ca/HT201443). {{unsigned|108.162.241.70}}

The 600LB magnet doesn't weigh 600 pounds, it's strong enough to hold 600 pounds. And if you used the interlocking feature, and it doesn't explode, you'd never be able to pull the phones apart. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 01:42, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
:I just looked up 600 lb fishing magnets on Amazon.com. They weigh a couple lbs. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 05:05, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
:From what we've learned about xkcd-Phones so far, I wouldn't be surprised if the magnet actually weights 600 lb. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.229.91|108.162.229.91]] 11:23, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
:How much does the magnet cost? 600₤?

I would actually buy something with Game Boy Printer compatibility. [[User:Unpopular Opinions|Goodbye, world!]] ([[User talk:Unpopular Opinions|talk]]) 03:49, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

John MacAfee fled Belize (and the Belize police) when he was wanted for questioning as a “person of interest” in the murder of Gregory Viant Faull. I suspect that that is part of why Randal posits an attack from John MacAfee (and defense from Peter Norton, who (unlike John) hasn’t completely lost his mind). I think he is also on the run from Spanish authorities for tax evasion.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.136|173.245.54.136]] 04:33, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

:I think there should be some explanation of who these people are. I could assume that they're the founders of the companies of the same name, or look it up, but the explanation should probably mention it. [[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 12:44, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

::Isn't it "McAfee", not "MacAfee"? Or is there an unknown menace named MacAfee that we need to be warned about? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.82|162.158.74.82]] 13:30, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

Don't many mobile games use shaking as a way to reset or roll the dice? [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 05:04, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
:Also Moto phones use shaking to turn on the flashlight. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 05:19, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

The tactical helium reserve might prove problematic if [https://www.reddit.com/r/sysadmin/comments/9si6r9/postmortem_mri_disables_every_ios_device_in/ the phone uses MEMS for timekeeping].
:(Great link, but unsigned...) Helium's a wonderful substance. Everyone speaks highly of it! [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.171|162.158.158.171]] 12:39, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

"Coated for easy swallowing" could be referring to ambiguity between 'tablet (pharmacy)' and 'tablet computer' (which is quite similar to a phone). [[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 12:44, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
:See comment (nearly) at top of Talk. Also you may have missed the change I made which then momentarily vanished due to someone's overzealous manual reversion but now is [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=2377%3A_xkcd_Phone_12&type=revision&diff=200672&oldid=200667 restored]. Enjoy. ;) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.46|162.158.159.46]] 12:54, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
:(I seem to be IP-hopping. I was the "Tweaks and Buffs" author/restorer consistently on 141.*, not the "I'm an idiot" one on 162.* but here in comments I'm appearing as 162.* both before (inc. last night) and after. - Probably something to do with Cloudflare. It's ''always'' something to do with Cloudflare! Any guesses what my IP sign-off will be ''this'' time???) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.102|162.158.155.102]] 13:09, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
::Solution: Make an account, and log in. [[User:OhFFS|OhFFS]] ([[User talk:OhFFS|talk]]) 16:53, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

Possibly, to note, Thermal Paper, as what is used by the Gameboy Printer, has high quantities of BPA. Running gag?
Also, atmospheric helium temporarily makes IPhones not work, due to mems device issues.
https://www.cnet.com/news/iphones-reportedly-malfunctioning-after-helium-exposure/
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.146.174|162.158.146.174]] 15:24, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

Vengabus increasing volume as a method of behavior discouragement has been referenced on the podcast My Brother, My Brother, and Me episode #398. Randall Monroe is a listener and a one-time guest on the program, and this line may be in reference to this segment.

Retro gaming is becoming more popular, could the joke of GameBoy Printer compatibility be that compatibility with a regular GameBoy might actually be a desired feature?[[Special:Contributions/162.158.106.16|162.158.106.16]] 01:53, 28 October 2020 (UTC)

Coated for easy swallowing could also be a reference to this '''anti'''-swallow coating: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/mar/02/nintendo-switch-game-cartridges-taste-bitter [[Special:Contributions/188.114.103.105|188.114.103.105]] 09:43, 28 October 2020 (UTC)

Could somebody finish off that "Given that Closed timelike curves are usually associated with solutions to general relativity that allow for time travel...", or at least alter it so it isn't trailing off? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.22.96|172.69.22.96]] 10:39, 28 October 2020 (UTC)

Hey, if the phone has a 2x safety factor, and the phones depicted in the comic are next to each other, wouldn't this be a picture of something moments before disaster?

Alternative explanation for '"The only phone you'll ever own"®™️' could be that future phones are either expected to become Mobile Device As A Service, or alternatively so highly locked-down into a proprietary eco-system of technology that your 'ownership' of the device in your hand becomes moot. From yet another sharer of a CGNAT ip address [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.102|162.158.155.102]] 18:13, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T13:16:44Z

162.158.155.102: /* Explanation */ After further checking, a correction back to the correction it should have been corrected back to, without the added overcorrection. (Tweaks and Buffs minus the minusing quotes)

{{comic
| number = 2377
| date = October 26, 2020
| title = xkcd Phone 12
| image = xkcd_phone_12.png
| titletext = New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a PERSON NAMED MAX. Closed timelike curves need more explanation. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is the "12th" in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is also a reference to the recently released {{w|iPhone 12}}. However, there have only been 8 comics released, with the previous two being [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] and [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]].

The note about the xkcd Phone 12 and the xkcd Phone 12 Max (only for people named Max) is a joke about the different models of iPhone 12: iPhone 12, iPhone 12 Mini, iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max. The xkcd Phone 12 Max would be expected to have a larger screen, but it seems that this phone is also only for people with the name Max. If the phones are respectively placed, Max's (Maxes'?) phone is the smaller of the two models.

The slogan '"The only phone you'll ever own"' has the "registered trademark" symbol, with that symbol supposedly itself trademarked, which is highly unlikely.

Multiple unusual and comedic features are labelled on the phone, detailed below:

* '''Full drivetrain warranty''' - A common warranty feature for automobiles--see {{w|drivetrain}}. As a side note, the phone here would be cheaping out on the warranty if it were a car; a "drivetrain" warranty covers everything ''except'' the engine; only if it was a "{{w|powertrain}}" warranty would it cover the engine. A phone typically has none of these things, although this one seemingly does.
* '''Coated for easy swallowing''' - A common feature on solid medicines meant to be taken orally. Phones do not belong in the set of edible objects, much less orally-taken medicines{{Citation needed}}. Since some parents of young children let them teethe on their phones, this would be an undesirable feature. There may be a pun here, based on the larger smartphones being practically the same as the more {{w|Tablet_computer|minimal portable computers}}.
* '''Surgical-grade apps''' - "Surgical-grade steel" is sometime used as a selling point indicating quality materials. This feature suggests that the apps themselves are made from high-quality material, although this is absurd because an app is (as the name suggests) a software application, not any physical object that could be reasonably defined as 'surgical-grade' or not.
* '''Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing''' - {{w|Magnet fishing}} is an activity for searching for objects that can be pulled in by a strong magnet. A 600 pound magnet can lift a 600 pound (272kg) object (at Earth's surface). This would tend to make the phone stick to any iron or steel objects (such as refrigerators) and be impossible to remove with human strength, and only the strongest humans could pick up the phone even if it were properly insulated. It would also be impossible to separate two phones without destroying one of them if the interlocking feature were used. This feature would also erase any credit cards the owner puts in the vicinity of the phone, meaning this phone could not be put in one's pocket with a wallet.
* '''Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque''' - This is a reference to {{w|ultrasonic toothbrush}}es. {{w|Oral-B}} does not produce any ultrasonic toothbrushes, but does produce ''{{w|sonic toothbrush}}es.'' There is a logical connection between electric toothbrushes and smartphones, namely they are both electronic and both vibrate; however, most phones cannot perform dentistry autonomously{{Citation needed}}.
* '''40 mL emergency water supply''' - 40 milliliters is equal to 40 cubic centimeters. For comparison, the iPhone 11 Pro Max's volume is just shy of 100 cubic centimeters; if the Phone 12 Max is similarly sized, then the water supply would take up over 40% of its total volume. In this day and age, many phones are water-resistant to some degree; nevertheless, shipping a phone with an interior consisting of a 3:2 ratio of electronics-to-water will surely lead to many short-circuited, inoperable phones. Furthermore, {{w|survival kit}}s often come with pouches that can hold several litres of water, in case of emergency. Because people typically take their phones with them everywhere they go, storing a survival kit inside the phone would be a life-saving feature. Unfortunately, 40cc of water is not enough to stave off thirst for a meaningful amount of time, extinguish a flame much larger than a candle's, or deal with most other situations which would constitute an emergency. Unless you are suitably proficient at {{w|Katara_(Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender)#Waterbending|waterbending}}, this feature is useless for its intended function.
* '''Security feature: unmarked side buttons''' - Some modern phones have unmarked side buttons, so the secureness of this feature is doubtful. This phone is likely to have trillions of buttons though, just to confuse the user. No buttons are visible which could indicate the side of the phone functions is touch sensitive and the buttons are not only unlabeled but not visible.
* '''3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches''' - {{w|Inductive charging|Induction charging}} is a method that a number of modern phones advertise, allowing power to (inefficiently but 'conveniently') transfer into a device from a mains charging station or another device's battery without the need for plugging in cables. It transfers energy between safely tuned coils, that do not touch, though typically the case of one device must remain placed directly upon the other for the optimal transfer of charge between them. 3,000,000 volts in 'pure' electricity, possibly from a complete {{w|Tesla coil}} assemblage, is very lethal{{Citation needed}}, and would make using the phone impossible due to the high voltage emitted to any object or bodypart within its large range. The {{w|Electrical breakdown}} voltage of air is approximately 3 kV / mm, which would allow a 3 MV potential to jump a distance of 100 cm. 36 inches (91 cm), however, is within reach of a simple extension cord.
* '''99.9% BPA- and hands- free''' - {{w|Bisphenol A}} (or BPA) is a compound that is used in making plastics. BPA has been found to exhibit hormone-like properties, so there is a movement to produce BPA-free plastics using alternative bisphenols. {{w|Hands-free}} describes using the device "without hands", e.g. using voice commands. This is important when using a device while driving. These are 2 unrelated ideas, which use the suffix "free" in different meanings ("BPA-free" means "containing no BPA", while "hands-free" means "your hands are left free"). The construction "NOUN- and NOUN-ADJ" is normally only used with the meaning of "ADJ" repeated for both nouns, implying that this phone "contains no hands" (or possibly "your BPA is left free"). The "percentage free" description is also a standard form of advertising {{w|weasel word}}s. A food might be described as "90% fat-free" with the heavy implication that it has a tenth of the usual fat content, but likely really means "10% of the product is pure fat" (typically by weight or maybe pre-cooked volume) compared with perhaps 15% in the typical non-'fat-free' recipe. 0.1% of BPA is not an insignificant quantity given its possible effects, and is likely to be a higher leachable content if it is all concentrated in external trimmings. It is unclear what a tenth of a percent of a hand needs to do, to operate the device, but it does also mean that it is not as completely hands-free as implied. Or else it ''also'' implies a trace ingredient in the manufacturing process that should still concern you.
* '''Extended release charge cable''' - Electronics manufacturers support standards to reduce time to fully recharge, e.g. Qualcomm {{w|Quick Charge}} standard. This is a reference to "extended release" medication. It's unclear what purpose would be served by charging a phone slower than normal.
* '''Closed timelike curves''' - This label is applied to the curved corner of the phone. Randall may be making a visual joke by referring to the corner of the phone by a very complex relativistic concept. Given that {{w|Closed timelike curves}} are usually associated with solutions to general relativity that allow for time travel...
* '''Fits in standard shipping container''' - An {{w|intermodal shipping container}} is large enough to fit automobiles, raising the question of just how big this xkcd phone is.
* '''Interlocking, stackable''' - A quality of, among other things, LEGO bricks. Probably a bad idea to use this feature, given how close the phone is to critical mass.
* '''Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility''' - The {{w|Game Boy Printer}} was a thermal paper printer originally paired with the Game Boy Camera. This device was released in 1998 and discontinued in 2003, so this partnership would be obsolete.
* '''Sustain pedal''' - A {{w|sustain pedal}} is commonly associated with a digital keyboard or piano; it lets the note continue sounding when the key is released. It's unclear what purpose it would serve in a phone.
* '''CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves''' - An allusion to the COVID-19 pandemic. "{{w|We Like to Party! (Vengaboys song)|We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)}}" is a 1998 Eurodance/techno hit by the Vengaboys, and is perhaps most familiar to Americans from a series of {{w|Six Flags}} ads.
* '''Sacrificial anode''' - Useful if something metal (like, say, a boat) will be in a wet environment for a long time. The {{w|sacrificial anode}} is made of a material with higher redox potential (typically zinc), and will corrode faster than the (more valuable) metal object it's attached to. It's unclear if the phone HAS a sacrificial anode or IS a sacrificial anode.
* '''Tactical helium reserve''' - Since 1925, the United States has had a {{w|National Helium Reserve|strategic helium reserve}}. Helium is very rare on earth and has important scientific and military uses, so it’s important to have a supply in case supplies disappear. But here we have a tactical helium reserve, which suggests it's smaller and focused on shorter-term goals. Compare {{w|strategic bombing}} focused on destroying entire cities or countries and {{w|tactical bombing}} aimed at destroying individual targets or military units. Helium also has the property of being lighter than air, so if this reserve is large enough, the phone could float away if let go. However, this is unlikely, as the phone boasts other, heavy components such as large magnets and a critical mass of fissile material.
* '''50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)''' - Indicates the phone contains fissile material. This "2x safety factor" means that if you put 2 phones next to each other, or put one phone next to a {{w|neutron reflector}}, you would have a {{w|criticality accident}}, which may explain why you would not own another phone after this one. A phone with this much fissile material would pose a radiation hazard. The "2x safety factor" claim may be related to physicist {{w|Richard Feynman|Richard Feynman's}} famous criticism of NASA in the {{w|Rogers Commission}} report on the space shuttle Challenger disaster. Feynman found that when he confronted NASA engineers with a part worn one third of the way through, which was not supposed to be worn through at all, the engineers claimed that this demonstrated a 3x safety factor rather than a failure of the part.
* '''Shake for factory reset''' - A {{w|factory reset}} is often possible on electronic devices, and is usually accomplished either by pressing a button that is often well-protected against accidental contact, for an extended period or closing an electrical bridge. This one works like an {{w|Etch A Sketch|Etch-a-Sketch}}, which would not be preferred, as [http://www.ahajokes.com/com045.html slight disturbances] could easily cause massive losses of data. This would not be possible to shake anyway, given the 600-pound magnet stuck inside, so it would probably have to be extremely sensitive, which is not in any way a plus.
* '''Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you'''. {{w|Norton (software)|Norton}} and {{w|MacAfee}} are competing software security companies. This "protection" combines the two of them and claims that Norton (the person) will defend you if MacAfee (the person) attacks you.

The title text mentions xkcd phone OS updates, including:
* '''Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid)''' - Whether on-screen icons snap to a grid is a very minor aspect of customization. Not having it would be the ultimate bane of anyone with {{w|obsessive-compulsive disorder}}, as it would make it very difficult to get icons exactly lined up vertically and horizontally.
* '''Dark mode (disables screen)''' - Dark mode is a popular feature on websites/apps with light backgrounds like Twitter and Reddit, changing the background to a dark color to help late-night users sleep better. Disabling the screen would not be a pleasant surprise when a user goes to turn on beloved dark mode. May be impossible to turn off if the screen is no longer touch sensitive when darkened unless the unmarked buttons can be used to disable it. Also a possible reason to want to use the shake-activated factory reset.
* '''Screaming mode (self-explanatory)''' - The phone screams. Reference to the screaming-while-falling [[1363: xkcd Phone|xkcd Phone 1]].
* '''Coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it)''' - This mysterious feature has a terrifying name, with even the developers refusing to test it out. This option would probably be very easy to accidentally tap, given the style of every xkcd Phone ever. Possibly activated with one of the unlabeled buttons making it even more dangerous. Coherent and Emission are associated with laser devices and the use of a laser could justify the helium reserve, and the Ultracapacitor implies a high energy throughput. Raises the question of who designs the phone if the people marketing it don't know what it does.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

* Full drivetrain warranty
* Coated for easy swallowing
* Surgical-grade apps
* Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing
* Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque
* 40 mL emergency water supply
* Security feature: unmarked side buttons
* 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches
* 99.9% BPA- and hands- free
* Extended release charge cable
* Closed timelike curves
* Fits in standard shipping container
* Interlocking, stackable
* Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility
* Sustain Pedal
* CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves
* Sacrificial anode
* Tactical helium reserve
* 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)
* Shake for factory reset
* Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

The xkcd Phone 12* and 12 Max**

<nowiki>*Standard</nowiki> **For people named Max

"The only phone you'll ever own"®™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]

Talk:2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T13:09:31Z

162.158.155.102:

Talk:2375: Worst Ladder

2020-10-22T18:00:24Z

162.158.155.102:

Their ladder is obviously placed somewhere where they all have to walk under it to get into the boardroom. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.247|162.158.158.247]] 00:59, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

I find it extremely pleasing that within 20 minutes the XKCD itself in on the front page of Google results [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.4|108.162.237.4]] 01:09, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

Google searches gonna be skyrocketing for "Worst Ladder". --01:24, 22 October 2020‎ (UTC) 198.41.238.108 (Please sign your comments)
:Can definitely see when the comic was posted [https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=now%201-d&q=worst%20ladder]. Maybe we should add a screenshot to the trivia section --[[User:Luckykaa|Luckykaa]] ([[User talk:Luckykaa|talk]]) 07:16, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

Can someone create a category for "business"-related comics? There are quite a few (some related to Beret Guy's businesses, but others just general). [[Special:Contributions/172.69.33.37|172.69.33.37]] 01:31, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

Can someone confirm if this comic is related to Quibi's shutdown announcement? Because if it isn't, then it's one major coincidence. [[User:Aderon|Aderon]] ([[User talk:Aderon|talk]]) 01:50, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
:I'm not entirely sure of the parallels but I'd love them to be in the article--[[User:FrankHightower|FrankHightower]] ([[User talk:FrankHightower|talk]]) 02:07, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

I thought someone had added a practical screenshot of Google's "worst ladder" search, before realising it was one of the inline Google-powered ads, this one 'aptly' for a certain popular online auction site which illustrated various ladders apparently up for sale upon its platform.... [[Special:Contributions/141.101.107.82|141.101.107.82]] 01:55, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
:I tried doing it, but it says I'm not allowed--[[User:FrankHightower|FrankHightower]] ([[User talk:FrankHightower|talk]]) 02:07, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
:: I saw that link (yours?) too, and appreciated it. Now, being just an IP I'm fairly sure I'd not be allowed to upload media to the Explain wiki, but I know it's been possible for others. Like with created highlights of the XKCD Garden, IIRC. But maybe it isn't automatic to all usernames but time/authorisation-prompted, after a certain length of engagement. Maybe the answer lies in the Community Portal, or the question could be asked there if not. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.225|162.158.158.225]] 02:46, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

I've got a screenshot of "Worst Ladder" GIS results taken around 02:45 UTC. Would it be worth adding to the wiki, and is there a way to upload it here? [[User:GreatWyrmGold|GreatWyrmGold]] ([[User talk:GreatWyrmGold|talk]]) 02:49, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

I kept feeling like I was missing some more specific reference about what company could possibly find itself replaced by "worst ladder" searches. Like, it's so specific it doesn't feel like "welp, all media companies are SOL because everyone just likes ladders now", it feels like this company was somehow in a niche that was uniquely affected...but I can't imagine what that niche could be haha.[[User:Jerodast|- jerodast]] ([[User talk:Jerodast|talk]]) 03:31, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
:No, I think "worst ladder" is just a stand-in for any random (and absurd) internet hype. I mean, who would ever be interested in watching people randomly pouring buckets of ice water over their heads... [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 06:56, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

I moved the Google Image Search part to the Trivia section. The actual results of such a searhc are imho not relevant for explaining the comic. [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 08:14, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

Also try "worst wheelchair ramps." [[User:Probably not Douglas Hofstadter|Probably not Douglas Hofstadter]] ([[User talk:Probably not Douglas Hofstadter|talk]]) 12:34, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

I thought the reason for the disastrous Home Depot tie-in was the lawsuits that resulted from people buying Worst Ladders (tm) and having accidents. --[[User:Itub|Itub]] ([[User talk:Itub|talk]]) 13:24, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

I find it so jarring to see XKCD mention TikTok. For whatever reason, I associate XKCD with the 'old interenet', which obviously doesn't include TikTok. -neverdroptop 15:46, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
: xkcd may be "old internet," but it's still on the "new internet". Randall Munroe's been around here a while, but he ain't out of touch. [[User:GreatWyrmGold|GreatWyrmGold]] ([[User talk:GreatWyrmGold|talk]]) 16:33, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
:: I consider anything from earlier than the Web as Old Internet, anything post-Eternal September to be New Internet, and in-between is a very interesting time. xkcd at its core (before you also consider its official Twitter/etc accounts) is firmly NI, but also definitely Web 2.0(+) in 'vintage'. But with an OI charm quite often lost in today's electronic biosphere. I don't think there's anything wrong with Randall commenting on the latest (or potentially so) Social Media platforms, or participating. I suppose a usenet://alt.fan.xkcd presence might be a bit ''too'' 'retro', but... now I think of it, why not? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.102|162.158.155.102]] 18:00, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

2372: Dialect Quiz

2020-10-15T10:23:41Z

162.158.155.102: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2372
| date = October 14, 2020
| title = Dialect Quiz
| image = dialect_quiz.png
| titletext = Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a LIGHTBULB EATER. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a parody of online quizzes that offer to compare the user's dialect of American English with others around the country. These quizzes generally contain questions about word usage, names for certain objects, and pronunciations that vary between different regions of the US. There are also quizzes about broader English dialects, but this comic focuses on commonly cited differences between American dialects.

The earliest quiz of this type to be widely disseminated online was the [http://dialect.redlog.net/ Harvard Dialect Survey], conducted in the early 2000s by Bert Vaux and Scott Golder. The survey created maps of the distribution of various word usage (such as pop/soda/Coke for a fizzy drink) and was a relatively early example of widely shared Internet "viral" content. In 2013, Josh Katz of the New York Times created [https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/upshot/dialect-quiz-map.html a new version] based on the Harvard survey, which became the Times' [https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/01/-em-the-new-york-times-em-most-popular-story-of-2013-was-not-an-article/283167/ most popular content of 2013] and spread the idea to many more people. Many of the questions in this comic directly derive from entries in those surveys.

Randall's previous two comics have been about election predictions, leading up to the 2020 US General Presidential Election. A prominent predictor of the election results is Nate Silver, who runs the FiveThirtyEight website. [https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/status/1315348221565206530 @NateSilver538 posted his results] of taking the New York Times version of the survey on October 11, 2020... just three days before this comic was posted. [[2371: Election Screen Time]] specifically suggests that Randall may be spending too much time obsessing over new posts and content from the election predictors. It's coincidental, but likely, that Nate Silver's tweet inspired Randall's post: he was reminded of the 2013 feature from the Times.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Question !! Answers !! Explanation
|-
! 1
| How do you address a group of two or more people?
|
* A) You
* B) Y'all
* C) I have not been around two or more people for so long that I can't remember
| Reference to the first question of the Times quiz: "How would you address {{w|You#Informal_plural_forms|a group of two or more people}}?" (with options including "you all", "you guys", "y'all", etc.). Option C may reference the significant decrease in human interaction and social contact during the COVID-19 pandemic.
|-
! 2
| How do you pronounce "Penelope"?
|
* A) Rhymes with "Antelope"
* B) Rhymes with "Develop"
| Both the options for this are wrong, making it the first of many quiz questions it is impossible to answer correctly.

Neither Option A's "PEN-e-lohp" and Option B's "pe-NELL-up" are a typical pronunciation of this name (beyond mispronunciations). In English, the only correct way to pronounce this name is "pe-NELL-o-pee," which is not listed.
|-
! 3
| What do you call the scientific field that studies the stars?
|
* A) Astrology
* B) Agronomy
* C) Cosmetology
| The actual answer is {{w|Astronomy}}, which is not listed. {{w|Astrology}} is the pseudo-scientific "study" of the influence of the stars and planets on our lives, including horoscopes (often confused with Astronomy due to its similar name), {{w|Agronomy}} ''is'' scientific but instead studies agriculture, and {{w|Cosmetology}} is the study of cosmetics and makeup (with a name close to {{w|Cosmology}}, a branch of Astronomy). The last may also be referring to the (occasionally heavily made-up) faces of movie and television "stars".
|-
! 4
| How do you pronounce "genre"?
|
* A) Gone-ra
* B) Juh-neer
* C) Jen-er-uh
| Reference to a question found on some quizzes: "How do you pronounce ''genre''? ZHAHN-ruh, or JAHN-ruh?"

A majority of (American) English speakers pronounce "genre" as either "'''ZH'''AHN-ruh" (beginning with the "zh" sound found in "trea'''s'''ure") or "'''J'''AHN-ruh" (beginning with the "j" sound in "justice"). Neither of these are listed, and none of the quiz's pronunciation options are common. However, they are close to other words: ''Gone-ra'' sounds like {{w|gonorrhea}}, ''Juh-neer'' is the way the second and third syllables of ''engineer'' are are pronounced, and ''Jen-er-uh'' is a word (genera), the plural of {{w|genus}}.
|-
! 5
| You pronounce "Google" with a high-pitched yelp on the...
|
* A) First syllable
* B) Second syllable
| Reference to general questions regarding differences in pronunciation of words. "Google" is not generally pronounced with a high-pitched yelp on either syllable.{{Citation needed}} Yahoo! [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yahoo!], however, had advertisements pronouncing it with high pitch sounds.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! 6
| What do you call the thing on the wall at school that you drink water from?
|
* A) Gutter pipe
* B) Drainpipe
| Reference to a quiz question in the Harvard and Times quizzes, "What do you call the thing from which you might drink water in a school?" Answers included "drinking fountain", "water fountain", and "bubbler". However, the question in this comic implies that school children (or at least the quiz maker) drink out of gutter pipes or drain pipes, which are used to collect rainwater and should not be drunk from.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! 7
| How do you pronounce the name for a short silent video file?
|
* A) Animated give
* B) Animated gift
| Reference to the "{{w|Gif}}" pronunciation debate, with people split between pronouncing it "gif" (with the hard G sound in "graphics") or "jif" (with the soft G sound in "giraffe"). However, both options presented in this quiz use the hard G sound.
|-
! 8
| What do you call the baseball-sized garden bugs that, when poked, glow brightly and emit a warbling scream?
|
* A) What?
* B) Lawn buddies
| Reference to a question in the Harvard and Times quizzes: "What do you call the {{w|Armadillidiidae|small gray bug}} that curls up into a ball when it’s touched?" (options include "roly-poly," "pill-bug", "potato bug", "doodle bug", etc.). However, there are no common "baseball-sized garden bugs".{{Citation needed}} May also be a reference to what "potato bug" means to people in the eastern part of the United States and {{w|Jerusalem cricket|what it means}} to people in the western part of the United States.
|-
! 9
| What do you call the misleading lines painted by disgruntled highway workers to trick cars into driving off the road?
|
* A) Prank lines
* B) Devil's Marks
* C) Fool-me lines
* D) Fauxguides
* E) Delaware lines
| Reference to the fact that some quiz questions ask about road features, such as "verge/berm/parking strip/curb strip" and "roundabout/traffic circle". However, these particular road lines, if they have ever been made, aren't common enough to warrant different names. The Delaware Line was a formation within the Continental Army. May also just be a dig at Delaware.

Misleading lines on the road were also mentioned in [[1958: Self-Driving Issues]].
|-
! 10
| What do you call the blue-green planet in the outer Solar System?
|
* A) Uranus
* B) Neptune
| This question references the two common mispronunciations of Uranus: "YURR-ə-nəss" and "yoo-RAY-nəss" (which sounds like the phrase "{{tvtropes|UranusIsShowing|Your anus}}", the original pronunciation is "oo-ra-noos", both u's pronounced the same way), a favorite joke of little kids). It also references the fact that Uranus and Neptune are both blue-ish colored planets in the outer solar system and are often confused by people who don't know much about them. Uranus is closer to being the correct answer - it could plausibly be described as cyan, a color intermediate between blue and green - while Neptune is a deep, unambiguous blue.
|-
! 11
| What do you call this tool?
[[File:CloveHammer.png|150px]] (image of a clove hammer)
|
* A) Banger
* B) Nail axe
* C) Wood mage wand
* D) I'm familiar with this tool but have no specific word for it
* E) I have never seen it before
| The only name most people would ever call this tool is a "hammer".

The last two options reference options in many quiz questions along the lines of "I'm familiar with this but have no specific word for it" and "I am not familiar with this" (such as on the pill-bug/roly-poly question on the real quiz). These may appear as options to questions that ask about something that might not exist everywhere, or something which many may not have a word for (for example, some areas of the United States have a name for "sunshowers," while most don't). However, it's a bit absurd for these options to be present for this question (and this question alone), as most users would be expected to know what a hammer is.
|-
! 12
| What do you call a long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff?
|
* A) A long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff
* B) A longwich
* C) A salad hot dog
| Reference to a common dialect quiz question: "What do you call a {{w|Submarine sandwich|long sandwich}}?" with options typically including "sub", "hoagie", "hero", etc.

The hot dog answer could refer to the common online discussion: "Is a hot dog a sandwich?"
|-
! 13
| What do you call the scaly many-legged animal often found in attics?
|
* A) Lightbulb eater
* B) I have no special name for them
* C) I've never looked in my attic
| Another reference to the frequent appearance of quiz questions asking what users call various creepy crawlies.

{{w|Millipedes}} best fit the description. They have many legs, though rarely if ever a thousand of them, as their name (from the Greek for "thousand feet") suggests. The hard rings that separate an individual's body into segments give the animal a scaly appearance. And of the thousands of species, only a few have common names, hence "no special name for them". The reference to "lightbulb eater" is obscure, but may refer to the tendency of millipedes to congregate in large numbers in dark crevices. Perhaps Randall found some in empty (no bulb) light fixtures in his attic.
|-
! 14
| What do you say when someone around you sneezes?
|
* A) "What was that?"
* B) "Oh, wow."
* C) [Quietly] "Yikes."
| Reference to a question on some quizzes about which of several words/phrases you say in response to a sneeze, with usual answers including "bless you", "God bless you", and "{{w|Gesundheit}}" (from the German word for 'health').

This question may also be referencing the {{w|COVID-19 pandemic}} in answer C (and possibly answer B). Sneezing isn't a primary symptom of COVID-19, but most people are hyper-aware of possibly contracting the disease from the people around them so sneezes are treated with suspicion and it's seen as rude to sneeze openly.

It is also possible that a person who has been able to catch a sneeze-producing condition has also caught COVID-19 and, while the sneeze itself isn't ''caused'' by it, the air and various airway fluids so forcefully projected are a possible infective vector with that little extra frisson of concern, given the current situation.
|-
! Title Text
| colspan=2 | Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?
| Phrased similarly to questions like, on the Times quiz, "How do you pronounce the words Mary, merry, and marry?" Options included "all three are pronounced the same", "all three are pronounced differently," or all three combinations of two being the same and one different.

{{w|Shallots}} and {{w|scallions}} are both types of onions (the former somewhat resembling garlic cloves, the latter being long green/white stalks also called spring onions). {{w|Scallops}} (either pronounced
''skollops'' or ''skallops'') are invertebrate marine animals similar to oysters and clams, frequently harvested for food (also what potato fritters are called in some regions of the UK and Australia). The three sound somewhat similar, but are quite different.
|}

==Transcript==

[Box with title at the top]
:<big>Dialect Quiz</big>
[Smaller subtitle underneath]
:Compare answers with your friends!

[Quiz is divided into two columns. Answers to questions are indicated by a letter followed by a closed parentheses, such as A). These letters are greyed out]

[Column 1:]
 
How do you address a group of two or more people?
:A) You
:B) Y'all
:C) I have not been around two or more people for so long that I can't remember

How do you pronounce "Penelope"?
:A) Rhymes with "Antelope"
:B) Rhymes with "Develop"

What do you call the scientific field that studies the stars?
:A) Astrology
:B) Agronomy
:C) Cosmetology

How do you pronounce "genre"?
:A) Gone-ra
:B) Juh-neer
:C) Jen-er-uh

You pronounce "Google" with a high-pitched yelp on the...
:A) First syllable
:B) Second syllable

What do you call the thing on the wall at school that you drink water from?
:A) Gutter pipe
:B) Drainpipe

How do you pronounce the name for a short silent video file?
:A) Animated give
:B) Animated gift

What do you call the baseball-sized garden bugs that, when poked, glow brightly and emit a warbling scream?
:A) What?
:B) Lawn buddies

[Column 2:]
 
What do you call the misleading lines painted by disgruntled highway workers to trick cars into driving off the road?
:A) Prank lines
:B) Devil's Marks
:C) Fool-me lines
:D) Fauxguides
:E) Delaware lines

What do you call the blue-green planet in the outer Solar System?
:A) Uranus
:B) Neptune

What do you call this tool?
 
[Image of a claw hammer]
:A) Banger
:B) Nail axe
:C) Wood mage wand
:D) I'm familiar with this tool but have no specific word for it
:E) I have never seen it before

What do you call a long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff?
:A) A long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff
:B) A longwich
:C) A salad hot dog

What do you call the scaly many-legged animal often found in attics?
:A) Lightbulb eater
:B) I have no special name for them
:C) I've never looked in my attic

What do you say when someone around you sneezes?
:A) "What was that?"
:B) "Oh, wow."
:C) [Quietly] "Yikes."

==Trivia==

*The xkcd Twitter account posted a [https://twitter.com/xkcd/status/1316484953480323072 series of Twitter polls] asking the questions in this comic.
*Shallots, scallops, and scallions ran against each other in [[1529: Bracket]]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]

2372: Dialect Quiz

2020-10-15T10:21:57Z

162.158.155.102: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2372
| date = October 14, 2020
| title = Dialect Quiz
| image = dialect_quiz.png
| titletext = Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a LIGHTBULB EATER. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a parody of online quizzes that offer to compare the user's dialect of American English with others around the country. These quizzes generally contain questions about word usage, names for certain objects, and pronunciations that vary between different regions of the US. There are also quizzes about broader English dialects, but this comic focuses on commonly cited differences between American dialects.

The earliest quiz of this type to be widely disseminated online was the [http://dialect.redlog.net/ Harvard Dialect Survey], conducted in the early 2000s by Bert Vaux and Scott Golder. The survey created maps of the distribution of various word usage (such as pop/soda/Coke for a fizzy drink) and was a relatively early example of widely shared Internet "viral" content. In 2013, Josh Katz of the New York Times created [https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/upshot/dialect-quiz-map.html a new version] based on the Harvard survey, which became the Times' [https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/01/-em-the-new-york-times-em-most-popular-story-of-2013-was-not-an-article/283167/ most popular content of 2013] and spread the idea to many more people. Many of the questions in this comic directly derive from entries in those surveys.

Randall's previous two comics have been about election predictions, leading up to the 2020 US General Presidential Election. A prominent predictor of the election results is Nate Silver, who runs the FiveThirtyEight website. [https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/status/1315348221565206530 @NateSilver538 posted his results] of taking the New York Times version of the survey on October 11, 2020... just three days before this comic was posted. [[2371: Election Screen Time]] specifically suggests that Randall may be spending too much time obsessing over new posts and content from the election predictors. It's coincidental, but likely, that Nate Silver's tweet inspired Randall's post: he was reminded of the 2013 feature from the Times.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Question !! Answers !! Explanation
|-
! 1
| How do you address a group of two or more people?
|
* A) You
* B) Y'all
* C) I have not been around two or more people for so long that I can't remember
| Reference to the first question of the Times quiz: "How would you address {{w|You#Informal_plural_forms|a group of two or more people}}?" (with options including "you all", "you guys", "y'all", etc.). Option C may reference the significant decrease in human interaction and social contact during the COVID-19 pandemic.
|-
! 2
| How do you pronounce "Penelope"?
|
* A) Rhymes with "Antelope"
* B) Rhymes with "Develop"
| Both the options for this are wrong, making it the first of many quiz questions it is impossible to answer correctly.

Neither Option A's "PEN-e-lohp" and Option B's "pe-NELL-up" are a typical pronunciation of this name (beyond mispronunciations). In English, the only correct way to pronounce this name is "pe-NELL-o-pee," which is not listed.
|-
! 3
| What do you call the scientific field that studies the stars?
|
* A) Astrology
* B) Agronomy
* C) Cosmetology
| The actual answer is {{w|Astronomy}}, which is not listed. {{w|Astrology}} is the pseudo-scientific "study" of the influence of the stars and planets on our lives, including horoscopes (often confused with Astronomy due to its similar name), {{w|Agronomy}} ''is'' scientific but instead studies agriculture, and {{w|Cosmetology}} is the study of cosmetics and makeup (with a name close to {{w|Cosmology}}, a branch of Astronomy). The last may also be referring to the (occasionally heavily made-up) faces of movie and television "stars".
|-
! 4
| How do you pronounce "genre"?
|
* A) Gone-ra
* B) Juh-neer
* C) Jen-er-uh
| Reference to a question found on some quizzes: "How do you pronounce ''genre''? ZHAHN-ruh, or JAHN-ruh?"

A majority of (American) English speakers pronounce "genre" as either "'''ZH'''AHN-ruh" (beginning with the "zh" sound found in "trea'''s'''ure") or "'''J'''AHN-ruh" (beginning with the "j" sound in "justice"). Neither of these are listed, and none of the quiz's pronunciation options are common. However, they are close to other words: ''Gone-ra'' sounds like {{w|gonorrhea}}, ''Juh-neer'' is the way the second and third syllables of ''engineer'' are are pronounced, and ''Jen-er-uh'' is a word (genera), the plural of {{w|genus}}.
|-
! 5
| You pronounce "Google" with a high-pitched yelp on the...
|
* A) First syllable
* B) Second syllable
| Reference to general questions regarding differences in pronunciation of words. "Google" is not generally pronounced with a high-pitched yelp on either syllable.{{Citation needed}} Yahoo! [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yahoo!], however, had advertisements pronouncing it with high pitch sounds.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! 6
| What do you call the thing on the wall at school that you drink water from?
|
* A) Gutter pipe
* B) Drainpipe
| Reference to a quiz question in the Harvard and Times quizzes, "What do you call the thing from which you might drink water in a school?" Answers included "drinking fountain", "water fountain", and "bubbler". However, the question in this comic implies that school children (or at least the quiz maker) drink out of gutter pipes or drain pipes, which are used to collect rainwater and should not be drunk from.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! 7
| How do you pronounce the name for a short silent video file?
|
* A) Animated give
* B) Animated gift
| Reference to the "{{w|Gif}}" pronunciation debate, with people split between pronouncing it "gif" (with the hard G sound in "graphics") or "jif" (with the soft G sound in "giraffe"). However, both options presented in this quiz use the hard G sound.
|-
! 8
| What do you call the baseball-sized garden bugs that, when poked, glow brightly and emit a warbling scream?
|
* A) What?
* B) Lawn buddies
| Reference to a question in the Harvard and Times quizzes: "What do you call the {{w|Armadillidiidae|small gray bug}} that curls up into a ball when it’s touched?" (options include "roly-poly," "pill-bug", "potato bug", "doodle bug", etc.). However, there are no common "baseball-sized garden bugs".{{Citation needed}} May also be a reference to what "potato bug" means to people in the eastern part of the United States and {{w|Jerusalem cricket|what it means}} to people in the western part of the United States.
|-
! 9
| What do you call the misleading lines painted by disgruntled highway workers to trick cars into driving off the road?
|
* A) Prank lines
* B) Devil's Marks
* C) Fool-me lines
* D) Fauxguides
* E) Delaware lines
| Reference to the fact that some quiz questions ask about road features, such as "verge/berm/parking strip/curb strip" and "roundabout/traffic circle". However, these particular road lines, if they have ever been made, aren't common enough to warrant different names. The Delaware Line was a formation within the Continental Army. May also just be a dig at Delaware.

Misleading lines on the road were also mentioned in [[1958: Self-Driving Issues]].
|-
! 10
| What do you call the blue-green planet in the outer Solar System?
|
* A) Uranus
* B) Neptune
| This question references the two common mispronunciations of Uranus: "YURR-ə-nəss" and "yoo-RAY-nəss" (which sounds like the phrase "{{tvtropes|UranusIsShowing|Your anus}, the original pronunciation is oo-ra-noos, both u's pronounced the same way}", a favorite joke of little kids). It also references the fact that Uranus and Neptune are both blue-ish colored planets in the outer solar system and are often confused by people who don't know much about them. Uranus is closer to being the correct answer - it could plausibly be described as cyan, a color intermediate between blue and green - while Neptune is a deep, unambiguous blue.
|-
! 11
| What do you call this tool?
[[File:CloveHammer.png|150px]] (image of a clove hammer)
|
* A) Banger
* B) Nail axe
* C) Wood mage wand
* D) I'm familiar with this tool but have no specific word for it
* E) I have never seen it before
| The only name most people would ever call this tool is a "hammer".

The last two options reference options in many quiz questions along the lines of "I'm familiar with this but have no specific word for it" and "I am not familiar with this" (such as on the pill-bug/roly-poly question on the real quiz). These may appear as options to questions that ask about something that might not exist everywhere, or something which many may not have a word for (for example, some areas of the United States have a name for "sunshowers," while most don't). However, it's a bit absurd for these options to be present for this question (and this question alone), as most users would be expected to know what a hammer is.
|-
! 12
| What do you call a long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff?
|
* A) A long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff
* B) A longwich
* C) A salad hot dog
| Reference to a common dialect quiz question: "What do you call a {{w|Submarine sandwich|long sandwich}}?" with options typically including "sub", "hoagie", "hero", etc.

The hot dog answer could refer to the common online discussion: "Is a hot dog a sandwich?"
|-
! 13
| What do you call the scaly many-legged animal often found in attics?
|
* A) Lightbulb eater
* B) I have no special name for them
* C) I've never looked in my attic
| Another reference to the frequent appearance of quiz questions asking what users call various creepy crawlies.

{{w|Millipedes}} best fit the description. They have many legs, though rarely if ever a thousand of them, as their name (from the Greek for "thousand feet") suggests. The hard rings that separate an individual's body into segments give the animal a scaly appearance. And of the thousands of species, only a few have common names, hence "no special name for them". The reference to "lightbulb eater" is obscure, but may refer to the tendency of millipedes to congregate in large numbers in dark crevices. Perhaps Randall found some in empty (no bulb) light fixtures in his attic.
|-
! 14
| What do you say when someone around you sneezes?
|
* A) "What was that?"
* B) "Oh, wow."
* C) [Quietly] "Yikes."
| Reference to a question on some quizzes about which of several words/phrases you say in response to a sneeze, with usual answers including "bless you", "God bless you", and "{{w|Gesundheit}}" (from the German word for 'health').

This question may also be referencing the {{w|COVID-19 pandemic}} in answer C (and possibly answer B). Sneezing isn't a primary symptom of COVID-19, but most people are hyper-aware of possibly contracting the disease from the people around them so sneezes are treated with suspicion and it's seen as rude to sneeze openly.

It is also possible that a person who has been able to catch a sneeze-producing condition has also caught COVID-19 and, while the sneeze itself isn't ''caused'' by it, the air and various airway fluids so forcefully projected are a possible infective vector with that little extra frisson of concern, given the current situation.
|-
! Title Text
| colspan=2 | Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?
| Phrased similarly to questions like, on the Times quiz, "How do you pronounce the words Mary, merry, and marry?" Options included "all three are pronounced the same", "all three are pronounced differently," or all three combinations of two being the same and one different.

{{w|Shallots}} and {{w|scallions}} are both types of onions (the former somewhat resembling garlic cloves, the latter being long green/white stalks also called spring onions). {{w|Scallops}} (either pronounced
''skollops'' or ''skallops'') are invertebrate marine animals similar to oysters and clams, frequently harvested for food (also what potato fritters are called in some regions of the UK and Australia). The three sound somewhat similar, but are quite different.
|}

==Transcript==

[Box with title at the top]
:<big>Dialect Quiz</big>
[Smaller subtitle underneath]
:Compare answers with your friends!

[Quiz is divided into two columns. Answers to questions are indicated by a letter followed by a closed parentheses, such as A). These letters are greyed out]

[Column 1:]
 
How do you address a group of two or more people?
:A) You
:B) Y'all
:C) I have not been around two or more people for so long that I can't remember

How do you pronounce "Penelope"?
:A) Rhymes with "Antelope"
:B) Rhymes with "Develop"

What do you call the scientific field that studies the stars?
:A) Astrology
:B) Agronomy
:C) Cosmetology

How do you pronounce "genre"?
:A) Gone-ra
:B) Juh-neer
:C) Jen-er-uh

You pronounce "Google" with a high-pitched yelp on the...
:A) First syllable
:B) Second syllable

What do you call the thing on the wall at school that you drink water from?
:A) Gutter pipe
:B) Drainpipe

How do you pronounce the name for a short silent video file?
:A) Animated give
:B) Animated gift

What do you call the baseball-sized garden bugs that, when poked, glow brightly and emit a warbling scream?
:A) What?
:B) Lawn buddies

[Column 2:]
 
What do you call the misleading lines painted by disgruntled highway workers to trick cars into driving off the road?
:A) Prank lines
:B) Devil's Marks
:C) Fool-me lines
:D) Fauxguides
:E) Delaware lines

What do you call the blue-green planet in the outer Solar System?
:A) Uranus
:B) Neptune

What do you call this tool?
 
[Image of a claw hammer]
:A) Banger
:B) Nail axe
:C) Wood mage wand
:D) I'm familiar with this tool but have no specific word for it
:E) I have never seen it before

What do you call a long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff?
:A) A long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff
:B) A longwich
:C) A salad hot dog

What do you call the scaly many-legged animal often found in attics?
:A) Lightbulb eater
:B) I have no special name for them
:C) I've never looked in my attic

What do you say when someone around you sneezes?
:A) "What was that?"
:B) "Oh, wow."
:C) [Quietly] "Yikes."

==Trivia==

*The xkcd Twitter account posted a [https://twitter.com/xkcd/status/1316484953480323072 series of Twitter polls] asking the questions in this comic.
*Shallots, scallops, and scallions ran against each other in [[1529: Bracket]]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]

Talk:2372: Dialect Quiz

2020-10-15T00:55:37Z

162.158.155.102: Stars

Fun fact: shallots, scallops, and scallions ran against each other in [[1529: Bracket]]. (This will probably end up in the Trivia tab when one is created.) [[Special:Contributions/172.69.10.135|172.69.10.135]] 20:50, 14 October 2020 (UTC)

Cosmetology both sounds like "Cosmology" but it's also the fancy word for people who study cosmetics. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.174.92|172.68.174.92]] 21:22, 14 October 2020 (UTC)
: Aren't stars the people we took cosmetics advice from before there were influencers? Or are they the same thing? Robert Carnegie rja.carnegie@excite.com [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.102|162.158.155.102]] 00:55, 15 October 2020 (UTC)

I mean the water fountains might as well be gutter pipes
21:49, 14 October 2020 (UTC)

@kswoll: Pretty sure this is a direct parody of the NYTimes quiz here: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/upshot/dialect-quiz-map.html

The Google pronunciation question might be a reference to a reference to [https://youtu.be/epj8OzP6z-M?t=177 a scene] from the second-to-last episode of Halt and Catch Fire. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.165|162.158.79.165]] 23:35, 14 October 2020 (UTC)

My guess is it is a reference to Yahoo another search engine that had commercials with high pitched yelp and some might put emphasis on either the "Ya" or the "hoo"

While I agree that most people know what a hammer is, this is not hammer - or rather, may not be considered "standard" hammer. Personally I would call it "Hammer with that thing for pulling nails out", but I could be easily convinced that it has some other name which doesn't include the word "hammer", instead of (presumably correct) {{w|claw hammer}}. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:55, 14 October 2020 (UTC)
* Yeah, I was thinking it was a claw hammer, also. I do have a friend that pronounces the word jen-er-uh, even though I have specifically said the word correctly around him after he has used it. [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 00:40, 15 October 2020 (UTC)
:: "genera" is a word. I typed it into Google, marvelled at the incomprehensible phonetic version, and tapped a speaker button. My computer said "Genera" and a box popped up that reads "Learn to pronounce", which I consider to be rude. But after all, I pressed the button. Robert Carnegie rja.carnegie@excite.com [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.225|162.158.158.225]] 00:51, 15 October 2020 (UTC)