explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:1069: Alphabet

2018-06-06T14:05:18Z

162.158.202.82:

That would ''probably'' work anyways. I hear women love it when you play hard to get like that. '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 13:38, 8 January 2013 (UTC)

Is it not also relevant that the "ea" in heart and beat are pronounced differently, an example of the irregularity of English orthography. {{unsigned ip|91.89.211.18}}
:In "rearrange" (used in the comic) the letters "ea" comprise two syllables, and the schwa is more stressed than in "realize", which is barely audible when pronounced at all (although it might depend on regional accents).
[[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.89|108.162.237.89]] 02:26, 2 December 2016 (UTC)
:...and also in learn, bread, break, beard, bear, create, reality, realize, sergeant. So, 11 different pronunciations. Did I miss any? ––[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 22:11, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
::In what way are the pairs beat/beard and learn/bread pronounced differently? [[Special:Contributions/161.49.249.254|161.49.249.254]] 21:18, 5 August 2013 (UTC)
:::Beat/beard seems the same. Mistake. [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/learn?s=t Learn] has the same vowel as "surge", and [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bread?s=t bread] is pronounced with the short "e"-sound, as in "best". –[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 22:15, 6 August 2013 (UTC)
::::Those vowels all sound different to me. It all depends on your accent. [[User:Tarkov|Tarkov]] ([[User talk:Tarkov|talk]]) 09:03, 2 January 2014 (UTC)

/hɑɹt/
/biːt/
/lɝn/
/bɹɛd/
/bɹeɪk/
/bɪɹd/
/bɛɚ/
/kɹiːˈeɪt/
/riˈæləti/
I couldn't find realize and sergeant. You can see it isn't just the vowels that are different. [[User:Tharkon|Tharkon]] ([[User talk:Tharkon|talk]]) 01:34, 26 July 2014 (UTC)

*beat/beard /biːt/ vs /bɪɹd/ or /bɪəd/
*learn/bread /lɜɹn/ vs /bɹɛd/. The difference between ''learn'' and ''bread'' is similar to the difference between ''stir'' /stɜɹ/ and ''stare'' /stɛɹ/, which are not homophones.
*realize /ˈɹiːəlaɪz/
*sergeant /ˈsɑːɹdʒənt/
[[User:Xhfz|Xhfz]] ([[User talk:Xhfz|talk]]) 13:34, 10 August 2015 (UTC)

It's a nice touch that Cueball's second sentence entirely omits the vowel 'u' thus forgetting "about 'U' in a heartbeat"[[Special:Contributions/162.158.202.82|162.158.202.82]] 14:05, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Talk:986: Drinking Fountains

2017-10-24T06:04:54Z

162.158.202.82:

Build a toilet next to the fountain so you can do both at once! '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 06:52, 2 February 2013 (UTC)

I recall when this first posted it randomly had the word water to the left of the door. only evidence of this seems to be on insult sites. [http://xkcd-sucks.blogspot.com/2011/12/comic-986-water-you-stupid.html]--[[User:Calvsie|Calvsie]] ([[User talk:Calvsie|talk]]) 22:56, 10 December 2013 (UTC)
:Apparently he's never stayed up all night and drank 18 beers...[[Special:Contributions/162.158.60.23|162.158.60.23]] 23:54, 5 June 2016 (UTC)
I don't think you can call it 'constant' peeing, as most likely you'll quickly die to water poisoning (yup, too much water can kill you, and I don't mean drowning) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.202.82|162.158.202.82]] 06:04, 24 October 2017 (UTC)

Talk:986: Drinking Fountains

2017-10-24T06:04:05Z

162.158.202.82: Water poisoning

1890: What to Bring

2017-09-17T19:18:09Z

162.158.202.82: /* Transcript */ Corrected gun to knife fight was there twice.

{{comic
| number = 1890
| date = September 15, 2017
| title = What to Bring
| image = what_to_bring.png
| titletext = I always figured you should never bring a gun to a gun fight because then you'll be part of a gun fight.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic consists of a table showing variations of the phrase "never bring a knife to a gun fight", an idiom usually attributed to either {{w|Elmer Keith}} or ''{{w|The Untouchables (film)|The Untouchables}}''. Each cell answers the question "Should you bring X to Y?" and illustrates the likely outcome of each combination of object and situation. Each row gives an object (X) to bring to the situation, and each column describes the situation (Y) to which the object is brought. The first two columns show an opponent holding a knife and a gun, indicating situations of conflict. The third and fourth columns describe fighting (extinguishing) two types of fire (wood and oil). Neither one should be battled with knives or guns.{{Citation needed}}

The squares in the table are highlighted in green to answer "Yes" to the question, where the specified object is appropriate or advantageous for the situation, or red to answer "No", usually because the object would not be helpful in resolving the situation. With the exception of "bringing a gun to a knife fight", these are exactly diagonally arranged from the upper-left to the lower-right, corresponding to sentences that make logical sense. In the case of the gun to a knife fight, the situation is heavily skewed in your favor.

The ultimate point of this comic may be in the title text. There is a phrase in American English, "to bring a knife to a gun fight," which means "to be so naive as to be unprepared." While Randall may be commenting specifically on managing {{w|Conflict escalation}} by being adequately prepared for the situation, it is also possible that he is subtly expressing his opinion about the virtues of restraint.

{| class="wikitable"
! Should you bring ... to ...
! scope="col"| a knife fight
! scope="col"| a gun fight
! scope="col"| a wood fire
! scope="col"| an oil fire
|-
! scope="row"| a knife
| Yes. If you bring a knife to a knife fight, you will be evenly matched with your opponent.
| No. If you bring a knife to a gun fight, you will be at a perilous disadvantage.
| No. Attempting to stab a wood fire with a knife will lead to you being burned.
| No. Attempting to stab an oil fire will lead to you being burned, in addition to causing metallic scrapes on the pan.
|-
! scope="row"| a gun
| Yes. Bringing a gun to a knife fight will leave your opponent at a perilous disadvantage. (You may be accused of "not playing fair".)
| Yes*. Bringing a gun to a gun fight will leave you {{w|Mexican standoff|evenly matched with your opponent}}.
| colspan="2"| No. Shooting at a wood or an oil fire will not extinguish either one. Depending on the exact caliber of the bullet, you may even end up scattering the wood or oil fueling the flames, leaving you with a worse situation than before. Also, most bullets contain lead, so the heat of the fire may cause the bullet to give off toxic fumes.
|-
! scope="row"| water
| colspan="2"| No. Splashing either a knife-wielder or a gunman with water will serve only to agitate your opponent. (However, water can disable some older guns that use gunpowder, since the gunpowder will not ignite when wet.)
| Yes. Wood fires are best extinguished with a well-aimed splash of water.
| No! Pouring water on an oil fire is notorious for creating huge fireballs, aggravating the situation even more.
|-
! scope="row"| a lid
| colspan="2"| No. Attempting to put a lid on the head of a knife-wielder or gunman will probably not help matters, as it may only serve to agitate said knife-wielder. There's a possibility that your attacker may be momentarily stunned by the surrealism of the situation, but even that will only buy you about a ten-foot running start. (However, a metal lid with the right sort of handle could serve as a makeshift {{w|buckler|shield}}.)
| No. Trying to put out a wood fire with a lid would usually require a lid far too large for you to carry.
| Yes. An {{w|Class B fire|oil fire}} is best extinguished by cutting it off from oxygen; stove top oil fires generally occur in cooking pans, which often come with lids suited to making an airtight seal.
|}

* While the chart states that you should bring a gun to a gun fight, the title text makes the observation that bringing a gun to a gunfight might just raise your status from 'inconsequential bystander' to 'combatant'. So perhaps you shouldn't bring a gun to a gun fight if not bringing one is a way to avoid being considered part of the fight. It probably all depends on why there is a gun fight to begin with, and why you are choosing to go to it, with or without a gun (or knife or water or lid). Or Randall may simply (and wisely) mean that you shouldn't go to a gunfight at all, which is a genuinely valid point, and not a joke.

==Transcript==

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Text in the top-left corner of the comic reads, "Should you bring _____ to ______?"

The comic is laid out like a grid, with implements down the left-hand side (A knife / A gun / Water / A lid) and the type of "fight" across the top (A knife fight / A gun fight / A wood fire / An oil fire). The grid illustrates the "match-ups", with a green square denoting a "correct" match-up and a red square denoting a Very Bad Idea.

From the top left corner, the squares are as follows:

*'''A knife''' to '''A knife fight''': Green square, two combatants face off against each other with knives, equally matched.
*'''A knife''' to '''A gun fight''': Red square, a person with a knife faces off against someone with a gun, and is clearly outmatched.
*'''A knife''' to '''A wood fire''': Red square, a person holds a knife in a wood fire while saying "OW OW OW".
*'''A knife''' to '''An oil fire''': Red square, the person with the knife scrapes at the oil inside the pan that's on fire while saying "OW OW OW". The scraping accompanied by the text "SCRAPE SCRAPE".
*'''A gun''' to '''A knife fight''': Green square, the person with the gun points it at the opponent with the knife, who exclaims, "Dude!"
*'''A gun''' to '''A gun fight''': Green square, two combatants point guns at one another, equally matched.
*'''A gun''' to '''A wood fire''': Red square, the person with the gun shoots pointlessly three times at the wood fire, which carries on blazing. The shooting is accompanied by the text "BLAM BLAM BLAM".
*'''A gun''' to '''An oil fire''': Red square, the person with the gun shoots at the flaming pan, which does nothing to put it out. The shooting is accompanied by the text "BLAM".
*'''Water''' to '''A knife fight''': Red square, the person with the water throws it uselessly in the face of the person holding the knife.
*'''Water''' to '''A gun fight''': Red square, the person with the water throws it uselessly in the face of the person holding the gun.
*'''Water''' to '''A wood fire''': Green square, the person throws the water on the fire and successfully extinguishes it, which makes a "SPLOOSH" sound.
*'''Water''' to '''An oil fire''': Red square, the person is shown reeling back from the oil fire, the water glass going flying, as the oil fire explodes with a "FOOM".
*'''A lid''' to '''A knife fight''': Red square, the person with the lid comically places it on the head of the person with the knife, who stands there in confusion.
*'''A lid''' to '''A knife fight''': Red square, the person with the lid ineffectually places it on top of the gun the other person is pointing at them.
*'''A lid''' to '''A wood fire''': Red square, the person with the lid holds it near the wood fire, which does nothing to put out the fire.
*'''A lid''' to '''An oil fire''': Green square, the person places the lid on top of the oil fire, which suffocates and extinguishes it.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]