explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1708: Dehydration

2020-03-16T22:17:41Z

162.158.58.183: /* Explanation */ as least

{{comic
| number = 1708
| date = July 18, 2016
| title = Dehydration
| image = dehydration.png
| titletext = I don't care what the research says. Everybody knows you should drink 3,000 glasses of water a day and change your oil every 8 miles.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic plays on the idea that there is little to no consensus in the scientific community with regard to the amount of water a person should drink per day. In the first panel [[White Hat]] presents [[Cueball]] with an innocent and sensible suggestion (although controversial) that people should drink six or more glasses of water per day. In the second panel, more characters join the discussion, an off-panel voice claims the most {{w|Drinking_water#Requirements|common misconception}} of eight glasses a day, a number which is not supported by scientific research. [[Ponytail]] again goes two higher with ten highlighting the existence of a wide range of so-called 'optimum' liquid consumption 'rule-of-thumb'. Implied here is the variety of health-related books, articles, blogs or other literature published that self-proclaims an optimum drinking formula.

The first sign of absurdity also arises here in the second panel when [[Black Hat]] posits that we need 5 glasses of water every minute. This equates to 7200 glasses of water a day, and using an often cited "standard definition of a glass"[https://www.quora.com/One-glass-of-water-is-how-many-ounces], [https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061002110517AAltamZ], [http://www.sparkpeople.com/ma/How-many-ounces-is-a-glass-of-water?/7/1/27943956] being equal to 8 oz (236 ml), Black Hat is suggesting that we should each drink 1.7 cubic meters (1700 liters) of water a day, not only curing {{w|dehydration}} but also causing {{w|water intoxication}}. This is a typical Black Hat kind of statement that he uses to further emphasizes the absurdity of the problem at hand.

Some time later [[Megan]], despite having read through all studies on dehydration (or low-grade dehydration in particular), still has not come to a solid conclusion. She becomes dizzy, admitting that she's been so focused on her work, she has ironically {{tvtropes|ForgetsToEat|forgotten to eat or drink}}. Her personal experience with dehydration prompts someone off-panel to get some water, but since she couldn't find any consensus in her research, she asks how many glasses they should bring her. Presumably to avoid the question of "how many glasses" entirely, Cueball finally suggests that she should drink straight from the tap, a (tenuously) sincere suggestion seeing her dehydration and following the good advice to drink when you are thirsty until that state has been absolved. In the title text of [[1744: Metabolism]], released less than 3 months after this one, Cueball mentions how he starts to feel bad if he refrains from drinking, just like Megan here.

The title text contains a mix-up between two often stated intervals; drinking eight glasses of water per day (which makes no sense, see above) and changing the engine oil every {{w|3,000_mile_myth|3000 miles}} (almost 5000 km) which may be a good rule, but not a necessity. Obviously it's impossible to drink 3000 glasses of water, and changing the oil every eight miles (about 13 km) would make driving a car very impractical.

The subject of this comic has been graphed in [[715: Numbers]] and mentioned in the what if? ''{{what if|74|Soda Planet}}'':
<blockquote>
The question of how much water we should drink per day is the subject of furious debate—the "8 glasses" thing seems to be a myth—but the amount of water we actually drink per day seems to be about a liter.
</blockquote>

Later, in the what if? ''{{what if|91|Faucet Power}}'', [[Randall]] comments on the preference for even numbers in the graph, and writes:
<blockquote>
The only real solid advice I've heard is that if you're thirsty, you should drink some water.
</blockquote>
''How many glasses is "some water"'' remains an open question...

[[Beret Guy]] and Megan are participants of a thought experiment concerning glasses of water and vacuum in the [[what if?]] ''{{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}''.

And the six glasses of water that this comic began with is also mentioned later in [[1853: Once Per Day]].

This is a rare example of a normal xkcd comic of few panels manages to use five of the seven [[Template:navbox characters|major characters]] who actually interact. It is the [[:Category:Characters with Hats|first comic]] where Black Hat has spoken (or directly interacted) with White Hat. Until this comic, they have only appeared together in complicated/large drawings where there is no interaction between the two. The only other time this has happened is in [[1881: Drone Training]].

==Transcript==
:[White Hat and Cueball standing together.]
:White Hat: Many people are mildly dehydrated. And don't realize it. You should drink at least six glasses of water per day.

:[A voice comes from off-panel to the left as Ponytail enters from the left and Black Hat from the right in this frameless panel.]
:Off-panel voice: No, ''eight'' glasses!
:Ponytail: I heard ten.
:Black Hat: You need to drink at least five glasses of water per minute.

:[Megan is standing to the left holding a book or a thick binder along her side while holding up a finger with the other hand. A question comes from off-panel to the right. Above her a caption is written in a small frame that breaks the top of this panel's frame:]
:Later:
:Megan: Okay, I just read through every study I could find to try to figure out whether low-grade dehydration is even a real thing.
:Off-panel voice: What did you learn?

:[Megan looking downwards, has two starbursts a circles and two dots above her head signifying dizziness. Cueball stands to the right as another voice comes from off-panel to the right.]
:Megan: If you spend all day doing research and forget to eat or drink, you start to feel pretty bad.
:Off-panel voice: I'll get some water.
:Megan: ''But how many glas'' - Whoa, feeling dizzy.
:Cueball: Maybe you should just drink straight from the tap.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

Talk:2280: 2010 and 2020

2020-03-14T01:51:37Z

162.158.58.183: Holo-banshees

Please maintain your distance in these comments. No comments within 6 vertical inches of other comments, please. And any in-comment sneezing or coughing will result in your account being banned for a period of 3 weeks. [[User:N0lqu|-boB]] ([[User talk:N0lqu|talk]]) 21:09, 13 March 2020 (UTC)

If the above information was new to you, please take this concise pamphlet. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.250.58|172.69.250.58]] 23:17, 13 March 2020 (UTC)

Maybe we should add a section on what holo-banshees are? That could be useful. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.58.183|162.158.58.183]] 01:51, 14 March 2020 (UTC)

Talk:2277: Business Greetings

2020-03-06T09:42:41Z

162.158.58.183:

This comic appears to be the only one, ever, that doesn't have mouseover text
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.146.160|162.158.146.160]] 05:15, 6 March 2020 (UTC)
:Maybe our mice are just broken. Purely coincidental, I'm sure. [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 05:49, 6 March 2020 (UTC)
::Or it is a change, to go with the time... --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 08:07, 6 March 2020 (UTC)
:Technically [[404]] doesn't have an alt-text either. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.58.183|162.158.58.183]] 09:42, 6 March 2020 (UTC)

Maybe Randall posted it really late, staggered into bed, and will post the alt-text in the morning. I saw text but it was just the comic title. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.34.190|172.68.34.190]] 07:51, 6 March 2020 (UTC)

And, in case you were wondering, yes, [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/10124306/Japanese-craze-for-eyeball-licking-leads-to-rise-in-infections.html eyeball licking is a thing] [[User:Sysin|Sysin]] ([[User talk:Sysin|talk]]) 08:22, 6 March 2020 (UTC)

It's possible that mouse over / touch operation is seen as another form of physical contact, that goes along the comic.

2275: Coronavirus Name

2020-03-03T00:39:05Z

162.158.58.183: /* Explanation */ external link

{{comic
| number = 2275
| date = March 2, 2020
| title = Coronavirus Name
| image = coronavirus_name.png
| titletext = It's important to keep the spider from touching your face.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MUTANT T. ANNEXA WOLF SPIDER WITH COVID-19. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is [[Randall|Randall's]] take on the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|coronavirus outbreak}}. As of March 2020, the coronavirus outbreak has infected more than 90,000 people, and has caused more than 3000 deaths.

The disease caused by the virus was officially named {{w|Coronavirus disease 2019|COVID-19}} on 11 February 2020, as "{{w|coronavirus}}" is a category of viruses named for their appearance, which is similar to a halo or crown. However, the virus itself is not called COVID-19, but is called {{w|severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2}} (SARS-CoV-2). So calling the virus or disease "coronavirus" is like calling a specific strain of flu ''The Influenza virus''. However, with extensive media coverage, the name "Coronavirus" has become associated with COVID-19, making it difficult to discuss other types of coronavirus later on.

COVID-19 has a 20% hospitalization rate and a 2% death rate by current estimates, compared to a [https://www.livescience.com/coronavirus-myths.html typical rate of around 0.1% for the flu in the US].

In this comic, researchers [[Ponytail]], [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] are discussing that it is by now too late to try calling the virus its official name COVID-19, as the name coronavirus has stuck. [[Cueball]] reacts with dismay, since there are many other types of coronaviruses.

The comic becomes absurd when Ponytail compares the coronavirus naming to a "car eating spider" living on top of the skyscrapers of the town, which is also just called "The Spider" even though it is technically a mutated ''{{w|Tigrosa annexa}}'' {{w|wolf spider}}. Everyone know what you mean when you say "Coronavirus", as they do when you mention "The Spider".

[[Megan]] then asks if they should not also do something about the spider, but Ponytail and Cueball agree that they can only tackle one problem at a time, and coronavirus takes up all their time. Only thing is that Ponytail now takes another commute, probably to avoid getting her car eaten.

The title text references the health advice that people avoid touching their face with unwashed hands, in order to prevent infections that they picked up by touching things from entering their mucous membranes. (It's a lot easier for an infection to enter the body through the inside of your nose than your hands.) It is likewise quite important to keep giant spiders from touching your face, but for the dissimilar reason that they'll bite and eat you.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is carrying a box with biohazard symbols on it towards a desk where Ponytail (wearing safety glasses) is working on a laptop, across from Cueball (also wearing safety glasses) who is putting a test tube into a centrifuge. There's also a flask on the desk.]
:Ponytail: Feels like we missed the window for the "COVID-19" renaming. "Coronavirus" is just too catchy.
:Cueball: But it's not specific! There are a lot of coronaviruses.

:[In a frameless panel, Ponytail (still wearing safety glasses) is pointing at a screen or picture showing a modern city skyline with a large spider crawling across three of the high-rise buildings.]
:Ponytail: I think it's fine. It's like, you know the giant spider downtown that sits on the buildings and sometimes eats cars? I think ''technically'' it's a mutant ''T. annexa'' wolf spider, but everyone is just calling it "the spider" and we all know what they mean.

:[Back to the setting from the first panel. Megan is standing and Ponytail had turned towards her and Cueball has stepped back from the machine.]
:Megan: I've been meaning to ask, what's '''''with''''' that spider? Should we...do something?
:Ponytail: Honestly I've been too busy with the virus stuff to look into it-I just changed my commute to avoid Main St.
:Cueball: Yeah, that's fair. One thing at a time.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Spiders]]

2275: Coronavirus Name

2020-03-03T00:37:06Z

162.158.58.183: /* Explanation */ fix

{{comic
| number = 2275
| date = March 2, 2020
| title = Coronavirus Name
| image = coronavirus_name.png
| titletext = It's important to keep the spider from touching your face.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MUTANT T. ANNEXA WOLF SPIDER WITH COVID-19. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is [[Randall|Randall's]] take on the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|coronavirus outbreak}}. As of March 2020, the coronavirus outbreak has infected more than 90,000 people, and has caused more than 3000 deaths.

The disease caused by the virus was officially named {{w|Coronavirus disease 2019|COVID-19}} on 11 February 2020, as "{{w|coronavirus}}" is a category of viruses named for their appearance, which is similar to a halo or crown. However, the virus itself is not called COVID-19, but is called {{w|severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2}} (SARS-CoV-2). So calling the virus or disease "coronavirus" is like calling a specific strain of flu ''The Influenza virus''. However, with extensive media coverage, the name "Coronavirus" has become associated with COVID-19, making it difficult to discuss other types of coronavirus later on.

COVID-19 has a 20% hospitalization rate and a 2% death rate by current estimates, compared to a typical rate of around 0.1% for the flu in the US.[https://www.livescience.com/coronavirus-myths.html]

In this comic, researchers [[Ponytail]], [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] are discussing that it is by now too late to try calling the virus its official name COVID-19, as the name coronavirus has stuck. [[Cueball]] reacts with dismay, since there are many other types of coronaviruses.

The comic becomes absurd when Ponytail compares the coronavirus naming to a "car eating spider" living on top of the skyscrapers of the town, which is also just called "The Spider" even though it is technically a mutated ''{{w|Tigrosa annexa}}'' {{w|wolf spider}}. Everyone know what you mean when you say "Coronavirus", as they do when you mention "The Spider".

[[Megan]] then asks if they should not also do something about the spider, but Ponytail and Cueball agree that they can only tackle one problem at a time, and coronavirus takes up all their time. Only thing is that Ponytail now takes another commute, probably to avoid getting her car eaten.

The title text references the health advice that people avoid touching their face with unwashed hands, in order to prevent infections that they picked up by touching things from entering their mucous membranes. (It's a lot easier for an infection to enter the body through the inside of your nose than your hands.) It is likewise quite important to keep giant spiders from touching your face, but for the dissimilar reason that they'll bite and eat you.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is carrying a box with biohazard symbols on it towards a desk where Ponytail (wearing safety glasses) is working on a laptop, across from Cueball (also wearing safety glasses) who is putting a test tube into a centrifuge. There's also a flask on the desk.]
:Ponytail: Feels like we missed the window for the "COVID-19" renaming. "Coronavirus" is just too catchy.
:Cueball: But it's not specific! There are a lot of coronaviruses.

:[In a frameless panel, Ponytail (still wearing safety glasses) is pointing at a screen or picture showing a modern city skyline with a large spider crawling across three of the high-rise buildings.]
:Ponytail: I think it's fine. It's like, you know the giant spider downtown that sits on the buildings and sometimes eats cars? I think ''technically'' it's a mutant ''T. annexa'' wolf spider, but everyone is just calling it "the spider" and we all know what they mean.

:[Back to the setting from the first panel. Megan is standing and Ponytail had turned towards her and Cueball has stepped back from the machine.]
:Megan: I've been meaning to ask, what's '''''with''''' that spider? Should we...do something?
:Ponytail: Honestly I've been too busy with the virus stuff to look into it-I just changed my commute to avoid Main St.
:Cueball: Yeah, that's fair. One thing at a time.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Spiders]]

2275: Coronavirus Name

2020-03-03T00:35:18Z

162.158.58.183: /* Explanation */ more

{{comic
| number = 2275
| date = March 2, 2020
| title = Coronavirus Name
| image = coronavirus_name.png
| titletext = It's important to keep the spider from touching your face.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MUTANT T. ANNEXA WOLF SPIDER WITH COVID-19. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is [[Randall|Randall's]] take on the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|coronavirus outbreak}}. As of March 2020, the coronavirus outbreak has infected more than 90,000 people, and has caused more than 3000 deaths.

The disease caused by the virus was officially named {{w|Coronavirus disease 2019|COVID-19}} on 11 February 2020, as "{{w|coronavirus}}" is a category of viruses named for their appearance, which is similar to a halo or crown. However, the virus itself is not called COVID-19, but is called {{w|severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2}} (SARS-CoV2). So calling the virus or disease "coronavirus" is like calling a specific strain of flu ''The Influenza virus''. However, with extensive media coverage, the name "Coronavirus" has become associated with COVID-19, making it difficult to discuss other types of coronavirus later on.

COVID-19 has a 20% hospitalization rate and a 2% death rate by current estimates, compared to a typical rate of around 0.1% for the flu in the US.[https://www.livescience.com/coronavirus-myths.html]

In this comic, researchers [[Ponytail]], [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] are discussing that it is by now too late to try calling the virus its official name COVID-19, as the name coronavirus has stuck. [[Cueball]] reacts with dismay, since there are many other types of coronaviruses.

The comic becomes absurd when Ponytail compares the coronavirus naming to a "car eating spider" living on top of the skyscrapers of the town, which is also just called "The Spider" even though it is technically a mutated ''{{w|Tigrosa annexa}}'' {{w|wolf spider}}. Everyone know what you mean when you say "Coronavirus", as they do when you mention "The Spider".

[[Megan]] then asks if they should not also do something about the spider, but Ponytail and Cueball agree that they can only tackle one problem at a time, and coronavirus takes up all their time. Only thing is that Ponytail now takes another commute, probably to avoid getting her car eaten.

The title text references the health advice that people avoid touching their face with unwashed hands, in order to prevent infections that they picked up by touching things from entering their mucous membranes. (It's a lot easier for an infection to enter the body through the inside of your nose than your hands.) It is likewise quite important to keep giant spiders from touching your face, but for the dissimilar reason that they'll bite and eat you.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is carrying a box with biohazard symbols on it towards a desk where Ponytail (wearing safety glasses) is working on a laptop, across from Cueball (also wearing safety glasses) who is putting a test tube into a centrifuge. There's also a flask on the desk.]
:Ponytail: Feels like we missed the window for the "COVID-19" renaming. "Coronavirus" is just too catchy.
:Cueball: But it's not specific! There are a lot of coronaviruses.

:[In a frameless panel, Ponytail (still wearing safety glasses) is pointing at a screen or picture showing a modern city skyline with a large spider crawling across three of the high-rise buildings.]
:Ponytail: I think it's fine. It's like, you know the giant spider downtown that sits on the buildings and sometimes eats cars? I think ''technically'' it's a mutant ''T. annexa'' wolf spider, but everyone is just calling it "the spider" and we all know what they mean.

:[Back to the setting from the first panel. Megan is standing and Ponytail had turned towards her and Cueball has stepped back from the machine.]
:Megan: I've been meaning to ask, what's '''''with''''' that spider? Should we...do something?
:Ponytail: Honestly I've been too busy with the virus stuff to look into it-I just changed my commute to avoid Main St.
:Cueball: Yeah, that's fair. One thing at a time.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Spiders]]

713: GeoIP

2020-02-29T18:01:36Z

162.158.58.183: /* Explanation */ a spacecraft bringing supplies to the space station would have to come closer than 420 km

{{comic
| number = 713
| date = March 12, 2010
| title = GeoIP
| image = geoip.png
| titletext = 'Meet hot young singles in your mom's basement today'? Man, screw you, GeoIP.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Geolocation|GeoIP}} is a service that converts IP addresses to their respective location on the Earth. This is done by looking up the IP address in a database maintained by various internet service providers. Advertisers often take advantage of the {{w|Keeping up with the Joneses|Joneses effect}} by creating localized ads which misleadingly appear to be specific to your location, but are often simply stock photographs with the name of the nearest town superimposed on top.

The comic satirizes this phenomenon. The {{w|International Space Station}} (ISS) has a high speed data downlink, but no direct connection to the internet. But here, [[Cueball]] trolls the advertisers from on board the ISS, by inserting his actual location on {{w|low Earth orbit}} into the database under that IP address. He proudly presents his result to [[Ponytail]] where the advertisements claim that there are "local girls" in low Earth orbit; a distance of roughly 420 kilometers above the Earth surface, and thus at least that far away from all other girls in the world if they are not on the space station (or a nearby spacecraft, such as one bringing supplies to the space station).

The title text shows GeoIP has become so accurate that it can now pinpoint the user's location to his Mom's basement. In United States, an adult living with his/her parents is termed shameful for that person, since it means that the adult does not have a job and cannot support himself. The ads are typically of the form -- "Meet hot young singles in <user's location>" where the <user's location> part is filled in from GeoIP. In this case, the GeoIP is so accurate that it not just identifies that user is in his parents' house, but it also pinpoints the location that he's hiding in the basement, perhaps because he does not want to be seen by people visiting his parents. Thus GeoIP is unknowingly shaming the user by reminding him that he is in his mom's basement, and hence the "Screw you" response. However, this would also prove the false nature of these advertisements, as the user is unlikely to have not noticed any hot young singles currently sharing his mom's basement.

==Transcript==
:[External view of a the International Space Station (ISS) orbiting the blue Earth below, shown with white clouds as stripes below and black sky above. Dialog, written in white on the black sky, comes from within the ISS.]
:Cueball (inside the ISS): ''Yes!''
:Ponytail (inside the ISS): What?
:Cueball (inside the ISS): I got our downlink into a GeoIP database.

:[Internal view of the satellite, Cueball and Ponytail are floating weightlessly around, Cueball is at a laptop style computer mounted to the wall. They are in a white room, with black around, but due to being weightless in space, the room is turned on edge as to not give any semblance of a given up/down direction.]
:Ponytail: Why?
:Cueball: To mess with advertisers. Check it out.

:[A zoom in on the computer screen is shown, it shows an ad on a pink background. The ad has a heading and then shows two photos of long haired girls in sexy poses each with captions below and a labeled button at the bottom. The location (as messed up by Cueball) is written in gray, the rest of the text is in black, to indicate that this part of the text has been inserted in the ad based on the location.]
:Meet local girls in
:Low Earth Orbit
:tonight!
:Tanya, 18
:Amber, 19
:Chat live

{{Comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]

1256: Questions

2020-02-21T08:15:36Z

162.158.58.183: /* Section Nine */ wlinks

{{comic
| number = 1256
| date = August 26, 2013
| title = Questions
| image = questions.png
| titletext = To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
}}
A larger version of the picture can be found in http://xkcd.com/1256/large/.
==Explanation==
{{w|Google}}, a rather popular internet search engine, has a feature known as [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/106230?hl=en autocomplete] that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

The largest pictured questions are: "Why are there slaves in the bible" and "Why are there ants in my laptop".

All of the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the moon". All these questions and many more (33,171 in total) can be found in http://xkcd.com/why.txt.

Regarding the title text: in the Peter Jackson films of {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)|''The Lord of the Rings'' trilogy}}, Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." This subplot is entirely absent from the {{w|The Lord of the Rings|original novels}}.

From [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq#.2.1.21 IMDB]: <blockquote>
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter. </blockquote>

==Selected answers==
The tables below have been created so as to split the comic into almost entirely arbitrary blocks, which have then been identified with similarly arbitrary numbers. As a general rule, section numbers work top to bottom, then right to left.
===Illustrated Panels===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
|Why aren't my arms growing?||Arms stop growing because longer arms would not be a very useful way to spend resources. Human DNA has programmed the body to gradually ossify (turn to bone) the growing arms and legs, closing the {{w|epiphyseal plate}} (the flat plate at the end of each long bone), at which point they stop growing. Alternately, the muscles of the arm, which may have been the intended subject of the question, may fail to grow if not exercised with appropriate resistance, repetition or frequency; if nutrition is insufficient; if insufficient recovery time is given; or if sufficient levels of certain hormones like growth hormone or testosterone are not present.
|-
|Why are there ghosts?||There is no hard evidence of ghosts. The reason you are seeing ghosts could be peridolia or some cognitive bias.
|-
|Why are there squirrels?||Squirrels are the product of a long sequence of evolution, like any other animal. They persist because they effectively reproduce and compete for resources within their niche, but they are also the product of many circumstantial events that has led to them being the way they are.
|-
|Why is sex so important?||Sex is important biologically because it is the primary method of reproduction in many different species, and culturally because it both plays an important role in human relationship and causes hard-to-control urges that affect behaviour. However, it can be of varying importance to different people (see [http://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=overview.html asexuality]).
|-
| Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter? || In the ''{{w|Harry Potter}}'' universe {{w|guns}} ''do'' exist and are mentioned at the beginning of ''{{w|Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban}}'', when the news gives a warning that Sirius Black has one. Muggle technology (human inventions) are often looked down on by wizards - the majority of half-blooded wizards won't touch one, let alone a wizard extremist like {{w|Voldemort}}. Not only does any Muggle device more complex than a wristwatch interfere with magical artifacts, but wands are usually more versatile than most guns; a revolver can't shoot lightning, summon items or teleport its user. Finally, while Harry himself may or may not consider using firearms due to his Muggle upbringing, ''Harry Potter'' is set in the United Kingdom (which has stricter gun laws than, say, the United States).
|-
|-
|}

===Section One===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why do whales jump? || Partly to get air, partly because it's an effective way to catch prey near the surface, and partly because they just seem to find it fun - it's like going into outer space!
|-
|Why are witches green? || See {{w|Wizard of Oz}}.
|-
|Why are there mirrors above beds?|| Often, these are used by couples to view themselves during coitus.
|-
|Why do I say Uh?||See ''[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/06/the_odd_body_language_fillers/ Why do we say 'um', 'er', or 'ah' when we hesitate in speaking?]''.
|-
| Why is sea salt better? || The question likely refers to the difference between common {{w|Fortified table salt}} and usually more expensive sea salt. While the major part of both of these is sodium chloride (NaCl) the idea behind the claim is the different composition mostly in regards to trace elements of sea salt compared to "normal" salt. Table salt's composition is often influenced by a country's health department and thus addition of trace elements is regulated. While these regulations are based on scientific studies there remain to be debates concerning the additions, such as iodine.
|-
| Why are there trees in the middle of fields? || Many images of fields contain singular trees in the middle of them. While there exist such trees it is likely an artistic choice to give a more pleasing or aesthetically satisfying image compared to just a field. In modern agriculture those would in fact be quite troublesome since they are a hindrance to large machines used and a new tree would be unlikely to grow in a constantly worked field, although they can be useful in fields for grazing animals, since they provide shade. Before mechanized agriculture, such trees would also be planted to give the workers a place rest in the shade without having to go all the way back from a large field.
|-
| Why is there not a Pokémon MMO? || {{w|Pokémon}} is a popular franchise, spanning game consoles, anime series, a trading card game, and many other things. Among fans, it is a frequent topic of discussion why a Pokémon {{w|massively multiplayer online game}} has not been officially announced by the series' developers {{w|Game Freak}}, as they often [http://www.dorkly.com/comic/52546/be-careful-what-you-wish-for predict] that such a game would be extremely popular, and bring in massive revenue for the company. However, if Game Freak were to develop a Pokémon MMO the MMOs would be strong competition against the console games and therefore reducing the Pokémon demographic significantly. The mobile app {{w|Pokémon Go}} has since partly filled the MMO niche, with multiplayer interactivity through item drops and fighting at gyms.
|-
|Why is there laughing in TV shows? || Sitcoms were once filmed with an audience, so the actors could respond to their reactions. That's the historical reason why there were laughs in TV shows. The tradition continues, with the difference that now the laughter mostly comes from recorded tapes. See {{w|Laugh track}}.
|-
|Why are there doors on the freeway?|| Highway/freeway {{w|noise barrier|noise barriers}} sometimes have doors in them to allow workers access to both sides of the barrier.
|-
|Why are there so many svchost.exe running?||See {{w|svchost.exe}}.
|-
| Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica? || {{w|Antarctica}} is the southern most continent and is by large covered in ice and in general pretty cold. While it is a regular target of tourists and researchers it also lacks native human inhabitants. At the moment, the territorial claims concerning Antarctica are mostly handled via the {{w|Antarctic Treaty System}}. In short there are a few countries who claim certain parts of the continent as their own in theory but so far it is considered neutral territory and most maps don't concern themselves with displaying the (in some regards disputed) territorial claims because they do not matter at this point in time. If there are ever any worthwhile resources discovered, this might change.
|-
|Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?|| To add atmosphere and to give players hints when there is a dark cave nearby. See [http://minecraft.gamepedia.com/Ambience Minecraft Wiki].
|-
|Why is there kicking in my stomach?||See ''[http://www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-movement-feeling-baby-kick Feeling Your Baby Kick]''. Here, ''stomach'' means ''abdomen''.
|-
|Why are there two slashes after http?||See ''[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1220286/Sir-Tim-Berners-Lee-admits-forward-slashes-web-address-mistake.html Sir Tim Berners-Lee admits the forward slashes in every web address 'were a mistake']''.
|-
|Why are there celebrities?||There are certain people who are more respected and well-known than other people, whether it be because of their acting career, major advancements to science, or a sex tape.
|-
|Why do snakes exist?|| The question is rather general and likely based on a widespread dislike for the reptilians. Be it due to their appearance, their spread, or the danger a few snakes pose to humans (often due to being venomous) many people have a dislike for snakes and would prefer them to not exist (similar to spiders).
In regards to "why do snakes exist on earth?": Because evolution. Snakes fill a gap in the ecosystem as predators and hunt different species, including vermin. Snakes are in that regard similar to many other predatory animals. The question on why snakes developed with their distinct streamlined shape is still debated but {{w|snakes|likely it either provided an advantage when burrowing or swimming}}.
|-
|Why do oysters have pearls?||{{w|pearl|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>Pearls are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside the shell, or an attack from outside, injuring the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation. Pearls are commonly viewed by scientists as a by-product of an adaptive immune system-like function.</blockquote>
|-
|Why are ducks called ducks?||See {{w|Duck#Etymology}}. {{Wiktionary|duck|According to Wiktionary}}, the noun ''duck'' can be traced back to the {{w|Proto-Germanic language|Proto-Germanic}} word {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Germanic/dūkaną|''dūkaną''}} ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the {{w|Proto-Indo-European language|Proto-Indo-European}} {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/dʰewb-|''dʰewb-''}} ("deep, hollow"), which is the origin of the verb ''to duck''. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.
|-
|Why do they call it the clap?||An old folk remedy for {{w|gonorrhea}} was to clap on the sides of the penis.
|-
|Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?|| The question relates to the TV show {{w|South Park}}. Both are children living in the small titular town in Colorado. Cartman is widely accepted to a be very bad person, one of his many character flaws being his antisemitism. Kyle on the other hand is a Jew. However, both, along with two other kids, Stan and Kenny, are the core focus of the show (or used to be) and to some extent are considered to be friends. While there are episodes which show Cartman being not entirely a horrible person and him holding Kyle in a position of at least a worthy adversary, most of the time the question should be "Why is anyone friends with Cartman?" However, they most likely remain "friends" because they are in the same class at school and are therefore "forced" to be around one another.
|-
|Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?||{{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender#Characters|Aang}} is the main character of the TV series {{w|Avatar the last Airbender|Avatar - The last Airbender}} and features as part of a large body spanning tattoo an arrow on his head. These tattoos are made to replicate the markings of one of the shows fictional animals, the air bison which are regarded as the original air benders. They are given to human air benders once they attain the status of masters. Because Aang acquired this status very early in life he was already tattooed accordingly.
|-
|Why are text messages blue?||This likely refers to imessage chat being blue. These messages are blue when sending a message to another apple device. When sent as an SMS message, they will be green.
|-
|Why are there mustaches on clothes?||Because some people buy them. Mustaches, especially handlebar-style mustaches, were a popular fad at the time of this comic.
|-
|Why are there mustaches on cars?||Fuzzy pink mustaches are used to designate cars in the {{w|Lyft}} service.
|-
|Why are there mustaches everywhere?||See {{w|Movember}}
|-
|Why are there so many birds in Ohio?||There are an estimated [http://oh.audubon.org/bsc/SOTB.html 400 bird species] in {{w|List of birds of Ohio|Ohio}}, but there are [http://www.jstor.org/discover/2419997sid=21104910103541&uid=4&uid=3739776&uid=2&uid=3739256 2.74 nesting pairs per acre].
|-
|Why is there so much rain in Ohio?|| {{w|lake_effect|Lake-effect}} rain develops in the same manner as lake-effect snow.
|-
|Why is Ohio weather so weird?||See {{w|Lake-effect snow}}.
|-
|}

===Section Two===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there male and female bikes? || {{w|bicycle|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>Historically, women's bicycle frames had a top tube that connected in the middle of the seat tube instead of the top, resulting in a lower {{w|Frame geometry|standover height}} at the expense of compromised structural integrity, since this places a strong bending load in the seat tube, and bicycle frame members are typically weak in bending. This design, referred to as a '''''{{w|step-through frame}}''''' or as an ''open frame'', allows the rider to mount and dismount in a dignified way while wearing a skirt or dress.</blockquote>
|-
|Why are there bridesmaids?||See {{w|Bridesmaid#Origin and history}}.
|-
|Why do dying people reach up?|| In many works of fiction dying people are regarded with an outstretched arm, grasping for unseen objects towards the sky. In all likelihood this originates in the idea of heaven as the place where (good) people go after death. People "reach for the light" which is seen when dying according to similar beliefs or possibly for already dead relatives or other associated people waiting for them. An alternative hypothesis is that they want to hug/touch their loved ones one last time.
|-
|Why aren't there varicose arteries?||Blood moves through veins due to irregular pressure from skeletal muscles combined with valves to control direction. In varicose veins these valves malfunction affecting blood flow. In arteries blood flow is produced directly from pressure caused by the heart.
|-
|Why are old Klingons different?|| {{w|Klingon Redesign|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>For {{w|Star Trek: The Motion Picture}} (1979), the Klingons were retconned and their appearance and behavior radically changed. To give the aliens a more sophisticated and threatening demeanor, the Klingons were depicted with ridged foreheads, snaggled and prominent teeth, and a defined language and alphabet. Lee Cole, a production designer, used red gels and primitive shapes in the design of Klingon consoles and ship interiors, which took on a dark and moody atmosphere. The alphabet was designed as angular, with sharp edges harkening to the Klingon's militaristic focus.[5] Costume designer Robert Fletcher created new uniforms for the Klingons, reminiscent of feudal Japanese armor.</blockquote>

Additionally, there is an in-universe explanation: A [http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Klingon_augment_virus Klingon augment virus] was deployed to make enhanced warriors, but accidentally made weaker Klingons with human-like features. These afflicted Klingons were the ones seen in the original series.

|-
|Why is programming so hard?||Programming is the art of writing instructions for a computer to do. Since the computer has a limited set of instructions for you to use it involves a new way of thinking for many. It is also hard because the computer itself is not smart or adaptable to unexpected problems. For instance when a human is told to sort books in a shelf, he or she can do that despite there might be things in the way (he or she will just move it to the side). A computer will generally just crash if it doesn't have instructions on how to deal with the unexcepted problem.
|-
|Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?|| A resistor is usually designed to create a certain resistance, measured in {{w|Ohm}} in an electronic device. A 0 Ohm resistor seems pointless as it would only provide the same resistance as a normal cable. However, Wikipedia's {{w|Zero-ohm link}} article gives sufficient explanation.
|-
|Why do Americans hate soccer? || Soccer, or football in British English, is rather unpopular in the USA compared to most other regions of the world. Finding a particular reason behind the (dis)like for certain sports, apart from cultural spread, is difficult. One possible explanation is soccer's tendency to have far fewer points scored in an average game and a higher likelihood of draws compared to such things as American Football, basketball or baseball, which are far more popular. In how far this is a legitimate argument for regarding soccer as "less interesting" is up to debate.
|-
|Why do rhymes sound good?||The brain enjoys repetition especially in music.
|-
|Why do trees die?||Some common reasons include lack of water, lack of nitrogen in the soil and being chopped down.
|-
|Why is there no sound on CNN?||Some stations broadcast a {{w|second audio program}}, an alternative sound track that your TV can be configured to use instead of the primary program. This is intended to be used for broadcasting in an alternate language, or for {{w|Descriptive Video Service}} to make a program accessible to the visually impaired. Many programs that don't actually use SAP will still broadcast an SAP that is identical to the primary program; however, this is not required. If your TV is configured to use SAP and a particular channel isn't broadcasting SAP at that time, there won't be any sound.
|-
|Why aren't Pokémon real?||Pokémon are fantasised creatures that were designed to produce an interesting battle mechanic in a game. Some of the pokémons abilities would be impossible on earth as we know it. For instance, Magcargo is hotter than the surface of the sun.<ref name="Bulbapedia Magcargo">http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Magcargo#Trivia</ref>
|-
|Why aren't bullets sharp?||See {{w|Terminal ballistics}}.
|-
|Why do dreams seem so real?|| Most dreams occur during a stage known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement). During REM, your brain is highly active and its wave pattern is the same as the wave patterns in a person who is awake. It should be noted that dreams can occur during other stages of sleep but most dreams that are vivid occur during the REM stage.
|-
|}

===Section Three===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why do testicles move?|| The scrotum shrinks and expands to account for temperature changes.
|-
| Why are there psychics?|| A {{w|Psychic}} is a supposed user of anomalous powers. Studies have classified psychic powers as pseudoscience. The existence of psychics appears to be as an economic incentive.
|-
| Why are hats so expensive?|| Hats can be expensive depending on the quality of material, size, location, and demand. A probable answer is that hats are simply difficult to make, causing high prices. Another likely cause is the fact that hats are not widely worn in much of the western world and people who do wear them often have far fewer than they have, for example, shirts, meaning that manufacturers cannot get the same economies of scale in production and distribution.
|-
| Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?|| Because the producers want you to believe that caffeine penetrates the hair roots and thereby somehow protects it from negative testosterone impacts and from premature hair loss.
|-
| Why do your boobs hurt?|| Common reasons are a badly-fitted bra or {{w|PMS}}. It could also be a hormone imbalance, breastfeeding, large or awkwardly shaped breasts or a serious condition such as {{w|breast cancer}}.
|}

===Section Four===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why aren't economists rich? || Economists study how society organises resources but, contrary to the popular misconception, don't focus much on the short-term behaviour of the stock market (a system that is still poorly understood). In order to become rich, in most cases one has to own a commodity that produces more wealth, such as a large company, or be related to somebody who has done so. In rare cases, a particularly lucky individual could become rich by having an unusually high paying job, such as a famous actor or sports star. Neither of these situations are likely for someone studying the field of economics. Some economists do get very rich as strategists for banks and businesses, but most are just academics and analysts.
|-
| Why do Americans call it soccer? || {{w|Association Football}} is called Soccer (short for "association") in the USA because {{w|American Football}} is the more popular version there. Of note is that the word "soccer" originates on British soil, to distinguish it from Rugby football aka "rugger".
|-
| Why are my ears ringing? || {{w|Tinnitus}}, or ringing of the ears, can result from stress, foreign objects in the ear, hearing damage, wax build up, or any other number of causes.
|-
| Why are there so many Avengers? ||The number of Avengers has [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Avengers_members varied greatly] over the years and decades, each time with its own justification for why they need to work together, but the simplest answer is money. Cross-branding and cross-merchandising is successful to the brand and brings in new readers, plus creates a new franchise to profit from.
|-
|Why are the Avengers fighting the X Men || {{w|Avengers vs. X-Men}} was a 2012 Marvel crossover event that, like many other recent comic book events, had heroes fight other heroes. In this case, the {{w|Avengers (comics)|Avengers}} and the {{w|X-Men}} fought over the {{w|Phoenix Force (comics)|Phoenix Force}}, a godlike power that often possesses {{w|Jean Grey}} or her descendants (in this case, her alternate universe daughter Hope Summers). The Avengers believed the Phoenix Force is too powerful for humanity to control and wanted to contain it, while the X-Men believed the Phoenix was the messiah for mutants and could fix all of the Earth's problems.
|-
|Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers || Wolverine ''has'' been an Avenger, in some circumstances. e.g. in the {{w|The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes}} cartoon series, the episode ''New Avengers'' had Wolverine (along with Spiderman, War Machine, The Thing and Luke Cage and Iron Fist) substitute while the 'original' Avengers were unavailable to deal with the current crisis (which of course included the fate of the 'proper' Avengers). However, in general his anti-authority personality makes him a difficult team-member to field, and he has frequently disassociated himself even from the X-Men. But, in Avengers vs. X-Men (see above) Wolverine ''sided'' with The Avengers, and more modern treatments have even included the character in about as much a permanent a membership of the group as Logan is ever likely to have.

But if the question is about why Wolverine didn't appear in {{w|The Avengers (2012 film)|''The Avengers''}}, the answer is that ''The Avengers'' is being produced by Marvel/Disney, while Fox still has the rights to the X-Men and all Marvel mutants in general. Unless there is studio agreement, the two properties cannot cross, except through complicated machinations. For example, there are plans to bring Avengers mainstays Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch to both the ''Avengers'' and ''X-Men'' franchises, but only the Fox films have the right to call them the children of Magneto, and Marvel/Disney cannot even identify them on-screen as "mutants".
|}

===Section Five===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
|Why are there ants in my laptop? || Ants usually come in your laptop when there are little crumbs of food. It is advised to get screen protectors.
|-
| Why is Earth tilted? || The Earth's axial "tilt", wherein its axis of rotation is not perpendicular it its orbit, is a result of conservation of momentum when the Earth was formed, because not everything orbits in the same way. This is pure happenstance.
|-
| Why is space black? || What we call black is the absence of light. Space is mostly empty, and although there are many stars, the light from most of these stars hasn't reached us yet. In addition, a lot of light has been stretched by {{w|redshift}} so it's no longer visible to us. See {{w|Olbers' paradox}}
|-
| Why is outer space so cold? || It's hard to actually define a temperature for space - it's empty, so there's nothing to measure. However, most of space has very little radiation hitting it, so a person won't receive any energy, but will still radiate some away, resulting in a net loss of energy, colloquially "heat." Around the Earth, objects in direct sunlight will actually get very hot. In deep space, there is almost no warming radiation.
|-
| Why are there pyramids on the moon? || There are no pyramids on the moon. However, the appearance of mountains and some craters on the moon have fooled some into believing there are pyramids on the moon, but these claims are false.
|-
| Why is NASA shutting down? ||NASA isn't shutting down. This question might have something to do with the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_federal_government_shutdown_of_2013 Government Shutdown of 2013] or perhaps due to the then-current shuttle program ending, but that is not the entirety of NASA.
|}

===Section Six===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there tiny spiders in my house?
|rowspan="6"|During autumn in particular male spiders reaching maturing will set off to find a mate. By chance they may end up in your house. When encountering spiders in large numbers, it is more likely that they are young from the same female spider. Females lay {{w|Spider#Reproduction_and_life_cycle|up to 3,000}} eggs at a time. These questions also plays off of Munroe's longstanding fear of spiders, especially the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/8:_Red_spiders red spiders] mentioned in [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Red_Spiders several early comics].
|-
| Why do spiders come inside?
|-
| Why are there huge spiders in my house?
|-
| Why are there lots of spiders in my house?
|-
| Why are there spiders in my room?
|-
| Why are there so many spiders in my room?
|-
| Why do spider bites itch? ||This mostly happens as an immune response to [http://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/why-do-mosquito-bites-itch histamines] under the skin which are injected through saliva.
|-
| Why is dying so scary? ||Part of human nature is the fear of the unknown, and death is the ultimate unknown because it is not knowable until it's experienced, and there is nobody to report what the result was. This leaves it open to speculation, and many major religions are based on preparing ones soul for death. Also, dying would leave loved ones families with the responsibility of taking care of their remains and finances. And finally, most people don't want to die, living for as long as possible, possibly because the unknown is too unbearable to cope with. Several causes of death are known to inflict pain to the victim, and fear of pain is an instilled evolutionary safeguard for preventing harm to a sapient creature. Still though several people are not afraid of death and dying, and recognize life is short and to cherish each moment while we can. Death is inevitable, so we should not fear it. In addition, it would be evolutionarily advantageous for our ancestors to have feared and avoided death.
|-
| Why is there no GPS in laptops? ||It is not impossible for laptops to have a GPS, and some do. But there are [http://security.stackexchange.com/questions/50907/are-there-gps-tracker-for-laptops design difficulties] that have to be overcome including battery draining, room within the crowded device to place a receiver, WiFi can give a location just as well, and the product casing could interfere with its ability to functional normally and receive the signals necessary to operate as intended. Some Dell computers have these, but the privacy one needs to give up to accept the terms and conditions makes it unfavorable.
|-
| Why do knees click? || Typical of other clicking and cracking of joints, this may be the sound of [http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/knee-pain/features/knee-cracks-pops ligaments tightening]. However do not rely on a wiki to diagnose a medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.
|-
|-
| Why aren't there E grades? ||E grades [http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/e-f-grading-scale/ actually exist] in some districts, but they are rare. In their long and bizarre history, E was originally used where F is today (E was the lowest grade), but in those systems, students often received E's for an "Excellent" grade, creating much confusion. F was used in place instead and E was eliminated from a standard grading scale.
|-
| Why is isolation bad? ||Isolation is when a person deliberately secludes themselves away from others, often far-removed from society. This can happen in locations as small as a city apartment and as large as the open woods. People evolved as social animals and it is generally held that those who isolate themselves suffer from depression or other forms of psychological imbalance. Of course society can trigger many of these imbalances causing an individual to isolate themselves. Isolation is often seen as therapeutic so people can spend time with themselves constructively, often finding peace within themselves and through mediation. Monks and hermits generally live in solitude as well. Many people view a decision to be isolated as noble, and others as healthy. While general interaction is largely healthy, in the crowded modern world, isolation is neither good or bad; it depends on the person and what that isolation does to them.
|-
| Why do boys like me? ||Attraction comes in many forms: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, among others. Many people will lie about what they like about you to get something else (money, sex, etc.), but most are genuine. It is not possible to assert definitively why one person may like another person, and that is something that needs to be discussed openly and honestly with them and nobody else.
|-
| Why don't boys like me? ||Similar to the answer above about what makes one desirable to another, there are an equal number of factors that make one unappealing. This can include everything from physical appearance to how one treats others. If a person is rude and unfriendly, most people find that not-conducive to healthy relationship and avoid the person who is asking. Not being liked by someone you like however does not mean you're wrong or are a bad person and in most cases has to do with the person you are asking about.
|-
| Why is there always a Java update? ||[https://www.java.com/en/download/faq/whatis_java.xml Java] is a software that runs on most computers and mobile devices that is crucial to its security and stability. The reason why it always updates is because it needs to stay current with the ever-upgrading fleet of browsers, operating systems and software that supports Java. Additionally Java updates itself so each version can run optimally. Software coding and debugging is a never-ending process towards perfectly stable releases.
|-
| Why are there red dots on my thighs? || This might be [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petechia Petechia], which are broken blood vessels, however do not rely on a wiki to diagnose medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.
|-
| Why is lying good? ||Lying and other forms of dishonesty is typically seen as bad because it lowers one's credibility and makes them less likely to be trusted in the future. It is almost always advantageous to tell the truth, as lies have a way of escalating as you need to keep expanding on the lie to cover your tracks. There are instances however where lying may be used in more noble circumstances. For example, if a friend asks your opinion on something they have made (such as a poem or painting) that you do not like, it is okay to tell them you like it because protecting their feelings and your relationship is more important than how you feel. Often military personnel are trained to keep national security secrets at all costs and will lie about what they know to save themselves and the country.
|}

===Section Seven===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there slaves in the bible? ||Slavery was viewed differently in the early years of human civilization before the contemporary moral and ethical conversations began centuries later. The Jewish legal system as presented in the bible {{w|The Bible and slavery|justified slavery}} for a number of reasons, notably to pay off some sort of debt. Slaves were seen as property and their work provided value to the slave owner, but such a relationship was legally required to be temporary and slaves had some basic human rights. Similarly slave owners rationalized their ownership through scripture, pointing out that it was in the Bible and therefore okay with God — without wishing to go off on a tangent, if you have to rationalize your system of slavery then it's probably illegal under historic Jewish law.
|-
| Why do twins have different fingerprints? || Fingerprints are not only from the DNA, but from the conditions in the womb which differ from child to child.
|-
| Why are Americans afraid of dragons? ||This question was the title of a [http://blogs.sfu.ca/courses/spring2012/engl387/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Why-are-Americans-Afraid-of-Dragons.docx 1974 essay] by Ursula K. LeGeuin in which she makes a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semiotics semiotic] analysis of dragon mythology. She argues that our belief in dragons (and those outside of America as well) stems from childhood, much like other ferocious fictional creatures such as goblins and hobbits, but many hold onto these fears as a way of avoiding reality. In her closing argument, she writes, "They know that its truth challenges, even threatens, all that is false, all that is phony, unnecessary, and trivial in the life they have let themselves be forced into living. They are afraid of dragons, because they are afraid of freedom."
|-
| Why is HTTPS crossed out in red? || The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate.
|-
| Why is there a line through HTTPS? || The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate.
|-
| Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook? || Facebook has an invalid SSL certificate.
|-
| Why is HTTPS important? || For security reasons, as a site with HTTPS has encrypted traffic.
|}

===Section Eight===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there swarms of gnats? || The reason gnats (and other creatures) tend to swarm together is likely a safety-in-numbers protection, and as a big gathering to find a mate.
|-
| Why is there phlegm? ||{{w|Phlegm#Phlegm|Phlegm}} is a thick, viscous fluid produced by the mucus membranes as a way to clear the airway and aids in the release of bacteria, disease and debris in those passages.
|-
| Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN || From a Minnesota Paper, [http://www.startribune.com/local/138902104.html the Star Tribune], "Laws prevent the city from poisoning the crows". "Duffy [ {{w|Steve Duffy}}, a co-owner of U.S. Bird Abatement Services, which has contracted with Rochester to get rid of the crows] isn't sure why Rochester has such a bad crow problem; probably a confluence of many bird-friendly conditions that has also made it a magnet for {{w|geese}}. He's seen worse cases, but called Rochester's situation 'hideous.'" And best of all, "The city has twice this winter hired experts to chase them off. They tried {{w|lasers}} and bullhorns — hey, get out of here, you crows — and even employed raptors to pick them off, one by one. That worked, for awhile." Unfortunately, they mean a {{w|bird of prey}}, not a {{w|velociraptor}}.
|-
| Why is Psychic weak to Bug || In Pokémon, Pokémon of the psychic type like Mr. Mime are weak to three types of attacks: Ghost, Dark, and Bug. The general theory is that Psychic Pokémon, relying heavily on their thoughts for attacks, are weak to fears, which ghosts, darkness, and bugs can be classified as.
|-
| Why do children get cancer? ||{{w|Cancer}} is an aggressive and often fatal disease that has the potential to affect all humans as well as other organisms. There are multiple types of cancer, each with their own epidemiology, but children are not immune to succumbing to the horrific effects of the disease. Children are human beings and are subject to the same illnesses adults have, regardless of age, or their innocence. There is no divine or supernatural explanation for this. Simply put, life is a battle for all humans regardless of how small they are.
|-
| Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus? || {{w|Poseidon}} was the patron deity of the city of {{w|Troy}}, which after a 10 years siege by the Greeks fell due to {{w|Odysseus}}' list of the {{w|Trojan_Horse|Trojan horse}}. As the Greeks were returning home after the Trojan War, Oddyseus' ship accidentally landed on the island home of the cyclops Polyphemus, who imprisoned the crew and ate many of them. In order to escape, Odysseus blinded the cyclops. Poseidon, Polyphemus' father, was extremely angered by his son being blinded, so he cursed Odysseus' ship to prevent him from reaching his home in {{W|Ithaca}}. The adventures which Odysseus encountered during his quest for reaching Ithaca are the main theme of {{w|Homer|Homer's}} {{w|Odyssey}} The Odyssey also says that before sailing, the crew forgot to offer a sacrifice as was ordained.
|-
| Why is there ice in space? || Space is {{w|Outer_space#Environment|Cold}}. The background radiation, which is used to measure the temperature of space's vacuum, is estimated at about 3K (−270 °C; −454 °F). Water freezes at 273.15 K (0 °C; 32 °F). Because the temperature in space is less than the freezing point of water, liquids freeze in space, turning into ice.
|}

===Section Nine===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why is there an owl in my back yard? || Owls can be seen all over the world, and live in a wide variety of habitats. They are mainly noctural, and spend a large portion of the night hunting. The owl in your back yard is likely looking for food.
|-
| Why is there an owl outside my window? || As with the question above, the owl is likely to be hunting for food.
|-
| Why is there an owl on the dollar bill? || On the front of a dollar bill, near the upper right '1' is a tiny section of the design which can be seen to represent an owl. Conspiracy theorists will note that owls were symbolically linked to the Masons, while others will instead see a spider.
|-
| Why do owls attack people? || While owls and human often live in close proximity without problems, as with other species, owls may attack if they feel threatened. When people irritate or otherwise make owls feel unsafe, they retaliate with violence to protect themselves.
|-
| Why are AK47s so expensive? || The market value of an AK47 varies depending on where in the world you live. With strict gun control laws, obtaining an AK47 in the UK is likely to be more expensive due to the risks involved for those supplying the weapon. In ex-soviet countries and the middle east, AK47s are more plentiful, and hence the price is likely to be lower.
|-
| Why are there helicopters circling my house? ||People living in high-crime areas will often hear helicopters circling, especially at night, when police use the helicopter's searchlight to locate and track suspects, or to light a crime scene. Those Googling this question might be wondering if a dangerous fugitive is nearby, or what else may be going on.
Potentially, the questioner may be hallucinating the helicopters or imagining themselves as the target due to {{w|paranoid schizophrenia}}, in which either a neurochemical imbalance or distorted thought patterns causes {{w|delusions of persecution}}.
Alternately, this question may be a joke because it is so incongruous to the others in this section. The joke is that people would be Googling about owls attacking people and assault rifle prices, which could, ostensibly alert authorities to come to your house to arrest you.
|}

===Section Ten===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there gods? || Gods and goddesses are part of mythology and folklore that are used to give spiritual guidance as well as explanations for phenomena that are yet unexplained by natural processes.
|-
|Why are there two Spocks? || This is probably a reference to the {{w|Star_Trek_(film)|2009 Star Trek movie}} in which the franchise was given a {{w|Reboot_(fiction)|continuity reboot}}. The modified setting is explained in-universe by time travel, with both the villain Nero and the original-timeline Spock being brought back from the 24th century to the 23rd, creating a timeline in which both older Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) and the younger Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) coexist.

Another possibility is that the question refers to the episode {{w|Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|"Mirror, Mirror"}}, which mostly takes place in an alternate universe populated by ruthless versions of most of the characters (including Spock).
|-
| Why is Mt Vesuvius there? ||The simple answer is that volcanoes are created by interactions where the Earth's tectonic plates meet. These conditions only exist in a few places on Earth. The question could also be asking, "why is Mt Vesuvius near such a heavily populated area?" Humans have lived near Vesuvius throughout history, due to its pleasant climate, rich soil, and proximity to other major cities. The Italian government [http://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/jun/05/italy.sophiearie offers generous cash incentives] to move people away from the danger zone, but finds few takers.This question could also be a reference to mountaineer {{w|George Mallory}}'s famous answer as to why he wanted to climb Mount Everest: "Because it's there."
|-
| Why do they say T minus? || Time before the launch of a spacecraft is denoted as T minus because the launch has not happened yet. Any time after the launched is stated without the minus, for example T 3 seconds, so time before the launch can be seen as "minus" time. The T stands for "Test" or "Time".
|-
| Why are there obelisks? || {{w|Obelisk}} article has more
|-
| Why are wrestlers always wet? || Professional wrestling is strenuous activity, whether its fake or not. Strenuous activity results in sweat, giving the bodyan appearance of being wet. Greco-roman wrestling and Turkish Oil Wrestling both involve oiling the body, giving a similar appearance.
|-
| Why are oceans becoming more acidic? || Due to the higher amount of carbon dioxide on the atmosphere, which dissolves in the oceans turning into carbonic acid - CO2+H2O=H2CO3 (see {{w|Ocean acidification}})
|-
| Why is Arwen dying? || {{w|Elf (Middle-Earth)#Death|Elves}} can die from grief .
|-
| Why aren't my quail laying eggs? || Not enough sunlight/calcium, or they are egg bound(very serious)?
|-
| Why aren't my quail eggs hatching? || Problems in incubation, probably.
|-
|Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America? || ''Further information: {{w|United States military deployments}}''This is a very interesting question, albeit one likely based on a regional misunderstanding. Presumably, this question is asked by Americans who assume that the existence of {{w|Category:Military facilities of the United States by country|U.S. military bases abroad}} is a general trend among countries, as opposed to being the rarity that it is. In fact, {{w|List of countries with overseas military bases|only a handful of other countries}} have military bases outside of their borders, and the three—{{w|France}}, the {{w|United Kingdom}}, and {{w|Russia}}—that have more than one or two are all countries that, like the United States, {{w|Allies of World War II|were on the winning side of World War II}}, have {{w|List of countries by military expenditures|massive military expenditures}}, and have {{w|United Nations Security Council veto power|UN Security Council vetoes}}. In other words, only the most militarily elite countries have bases overseas. The U.S. is unique, however, in that it has far more overseas bases than any other country (and, pretty much, far more of anything else than any other country, when it comes to the military), and in that {{w|List of United States military bases|it has bases in several other highly-industrialized nations}}, including {{w|List of United States Army installations in South Korea|South Korea}} and the United Kingdom, and, most notably, the World War II {{w|Axis powers}}: {{w|List of United States Army installations in Germany|Germany}}, {{w|United States s Japan|Japan}}, and {{w|List of United States Army installations in Italy|Italy}}. France, Russia, and the U.K.'s bases, on the other hand, are almost all within areas that they previously controlled.These bases can be controversial in some countries, while in others they are a major source of economic and political stability. The U.S. traditionally justifies their presence as a necessary and crucial element in its efforts to promote peace domestically and worldwide. Despite their major role in {{w|U.S. foreign policy}}, and in the general political structure of the globe, the American public often largely ignores them, and they rarely become a major political issue (apart from an occasional mention by {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian presidential s}}).So, essentially, the absence of foreign military bases within the U.S. is primarily because there aren't really any other countries in a position to place bases there. Ironically, although no battles in the traditional sense have been fought within the U.S. since the {{w|U.S. Civil War}} and the U.S. mainland has seen {{w|Mainland invasion of the United States|almost no military action}}, foreign air bases might have been useful on September 11, 2001. (The {{w|attack on Pearl Harbor}} in 1941 was 18 before Hawaii became a U.S. state, but Hawaii was still a fundamental part of the United States as it was an incorporated territory.)There are, however, foreign troops stationed at some continental US military bases. For example, RAF (British Royal Air ) 39 Sqn and 361 Sqn at Creech Air Base in Nevada flying Reaper and Predator s. But this are not foreign military bases, they are just guests.
|}

===Section Eleven===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are my boobs itchy? ||It could be anything from dry skin to a rare life-threatening disease. Could also be related to pregnancy, PMS, or puberty. [http://www.just-health.net/Itchy-Breast.html Here's a thorough list] of possible causes and remedies.
|-
| Why are cigarettes legal? ||Despite the obvious detrimental affects nicotine has on health, like caffeine and alcohol, it is easy to regulate. Substances like marijuana and other drugs are mainly illegal because the government and regulatory agencies have no control over their production and distribution and therefore cannot profit from it. Nicotine however, which is the key ingredient in tobacco can be regulated and taxed and is.
|-
| Why are there ducks in my pool? ||Most likely, they're looking for a place to mate. Which means you'll soon have baby ducks in your pool. Most migratory birds are protected by wildlife laws, so you want to prevent them from moving into your pool in the first place. The [http://www.dfwwildlife.org/duck.html DFW Wildlife Coalition] has some tips.
|-
| Why is Jesus white? ||This is an ethnocentric viewpoint that varies throughout cultures. In African cultures he is portrayed as black. In short, whatever culture he is introduced to, those inhabitants will have him fit their own image.
|-
| Why is there liquid in my ear? ||[http://www.healthline.com/symptom/discharge-from-ear It's called otorrhea], and can be caused by infection, trauma, or changes in pressure. A common cause is [http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/swimmers-ear/basics/definition/con-20014723 Swimmer's ear], an infection of the outer ear canal. More seriously, it could be Cerebrospinal fluid. This can end up in your ears do to a puncture in the skulls membrane, often due to a collision/concussion. This is a very serious condition. Again, do not take (too much) medical advice from wiki.
|-
| Why do Q tips feel good? ||The inner ear contains [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erectile_tissue erectile tissue] (as does your inner nose which is why sneezing feels good) so you are massing tissue which gets aroused upon stimulation.
|-
| Why do good people die? ||Everybody dies, no matter how good or bad they were. But sometimes if people are really bad they are made to die sooner. (But loved ones and ones who were known to make memorable or valuable contributions are mourned and revered more than a person who has left much pain to others as their legacy; we remember the good ones and so it hurts more.)
|-
| Why are ultrasounds important? ||Ultrasound scans provide a great deal of information about a fetus, thus increasing the chances of a healthy birth. They have many other medical uses.
|-
| Why are ultrasound machines expensive? ||As hospital equipment goes, ultrasound machines are actually a bargain. [http://www.costowl.com/healthcare/healthcare-ultrasound-machine-costs.html A new ultrasound machine] costs about $20,000-$75,000, depending on features. Comparable devices are much more expensive: The [http://info.blockimaging.com/bid/84432/CT-Scanner-Price-Guide CT scanner] runs $90,000-$250,000, while the [http://www.ehow.com/about_4731161_much-do-mri-machines-cost.html MRI machine] easily goes over a million.
|-
| Why is stealing wrong? ||Stealing is theft and it is illegal. Taking something that is not yours without permission or payment hurts the livelihood of other individuals as well as damages their trust in others.
|}

===Vertical Questions===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why is there hell if god forgives? ||There is not a single answer to this question. The answer varies based on the religion and that religion's sect mixed with personal interpretations of that religions scripture and how a person decides to follow it. However the idea of what Hell will be like also varies. There is no one answer to this question, but the easiest explanation is that the individual did not pray hard enough, correctly, was not part of the right religion, and their forgiveness was contingent on something that the person either did not do or know to do (or say or think)
|-
| Why do iguanas die? ||All living things die, but iguanas may suffer from [http://www.anapsid.org/iguana/kidneyfailure.html kidney failure].
|-
| Why is GPS free? || GPS was originally developed by the U.S. military for its own use, not for commercial purposes. However, the government realized that free GPS would have a significant bonus for the economy and would prevent disasters like the {{w|Korean Air Lines Flight 007}} where a plane was shot down after accidentally entering Soviet airspace, and in 1983 President Reagan declared that the US would make GPS available to all. At one point, "{{w|selective availability}}" was used to degrade performance for civilian users, but since 2000 this has also been switched off.
|-
| Why are trees tall? ||Tall is a relative term, and Redwoods are famous for their height - among the tallest in the world. The reason for this is, in part [http://www.nps.gov/redw/faqs.htm climate, fog, rain, good soil, few predators, among others].
|-
|Why are there female Mr. Mimes? || {{w|Mr. Mime}} is a Pokémon introduced in the first generation of the games, and despite its name, it can be either of a male or female gender. As the Pokémon was introduced before the concept of [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gender gender in Pokémon games], it is likely that the people in charge of translating its Japanese name (Barrierd) did not take this into account during the process.
|-
| Why is there lava? ||{{w|Lava}} is magma (molten rock) which is at the Earth's surface. Magma in the Earth comes from the melting of rock due to rising heat from deeper within the planet. {{w|Earth's internal heat budget|This heat}} is about half radiogenic and half primordial (left over from the formation and differentiation of the Earth). Most of the crust and mantle of the Earth is solid rock, but in places (usually controlled by plate tectonics, but {{w|Hawaii hotspot|not always}}) where the heat is high enough the minerals with lowest melting point start to melt and then migrate upwards towards the surface. This melt collects in {{w|Magma chamber|magma chambers}}, in which the magma may start to cool and crystallize. Sometimes it will crystallize completely, becoming an underground solid body called a pluton. Other times melt will keep migrating upwards until it reaches the surface and erupts as lava, forming a {{w|volcano}} or undersea vent.
|-
| Why is YKK on all zippers? || {{w|YKK}} Group is the name of a large group of Japanese manufacturing companies, which among other things manufacture a lot of zippers. YKK zippers are also considered to be some of the best available, so a clothing maker including a YKK zipper would likely leave the YKK name on, instead of getting no branding or rebranding them.
|-
| Why is life so boring? ||It is up to an individual to find meaning and interest in life. Monotony, predictability and lack of physical and intellectual stimulation would lead to a feeling of boredom.
|-
| Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts? ||Ghosts are a supernatural phenomenon that have not been empirically proven to exist. Those who believe in ghosts implicitly believe in a soul (of which a ghost is a materialization of), and it is a commonly held belief by religious institutions and ghost-hunters that animals do not have souls and thus dinosaurs would not have any either.
|-
|Why is there no king in England? || ''Note: For simplicity's sake, "England" here is being read as "United Kingdom." The various name changes, mergers, and splits of kingdoms are complicated.''The basis for this question is that for the past several hundred years, there has almost always been a queen in England, the sole exceptions being when the king has not had a wife. However, there is a distinction between being the queen of England (that is to say, {{w|List of British monarchs|a monarch}}) and being the {{w|queen consort|queen ''consort''}} of England: The former refers to a woman who {{w|Succession to the British throne|succeeded to the throne}} in her own right, becoming sovereign, while the latter refers to the wife of the king. Both roles, though, are commonly referred to as "Queen of England," creating the impression that there is always such a person. The logical question, therefore, is why {{w|Elizabeth II}}'s husband, {{w|Prince Philip|Philip}}, is not considered the king of England. The answer lies in Britain's system of {{w|male-preference cognatic primogeniture}}, which causes the monarch of England to usually be a man, not a woman. As a result of this, British laws were generally built around the presumption that the monarch would be a man, and that said man would be married to a woman, [[223: Valentine's Day|comic 223]] be damned. Since the creation of the modern British throne in 1707, only two women have reigned as queen in their own right; it just so happens that these two women have been two of the most famous and longest-reigning monarchs in world history, {{w|Queen Victoria}} and Queen Elizabeth II. This fact may add to people's enhanced perception of the lack of a British king. Victoria and Elizabeth's respective consorts, {{w|Albert, Prince Consort|Albert}} and Philip, have been styled as princes—Albert as {{w|Prince Consort}} and Philip as "{{w|British prince|Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland}}." Both were explicitly granted their titles by their wives, though Albert was already a prince of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, and Philip had previously been a prince of Denmark and Greece, but had renounced both titles before marrying Elizabeth.The title {{w|king consort}} also exists, but has never been used in the United Kingdom.Notably, should {{w|Prince Charles}} succeed to his mother's throne, it has been announced that his wife, {{w|Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall|Camilla}}, will be styled as {{w|princess consort}}, ''not'' as queen consort, just as she has declined the title {{w|Princess of Wales}}, which is strongly associated with Charles's first wife, {{w|Princess Diana|Diana}}. Assuming that Charles succeeds, this means that Britain will not have anyone referred to as "queen," after decades of not having anyone referred to as "king."
|-
| Why do I feel dizzy? ||Balance is achieved from fluids in the inner-ear, but [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dizziness#Epidemiology dizziness] can have nearly a dozen causes.
|-
| Why are dogs afraid of fireworks? ||Loud noises can trigger their flight or fight responses when they are [http://www.cesarsway.com/dogbehavior/hyperdog/How-to-Keep-Your-Dog-Safe-and-Calm-During-Fireworks nervous].
|-
| Why are there weeks? || Weeks were originally important for religious reasons, primarily the requirement to observe a sabbath (day of rest) every seventh day. Today it is used to create a common schedule that doesn't change due to month length, much like the months divide a year to be able to schedule things like dentist appointments. Similarly, hours and minutes divide a day making it possible to create a schedule.
|}

==See also==
http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1l3na7/questions/cbvigrd, answers to all the questions.

==References==
<references/>

==Transcript==
:[This strip is a rectangular word cloud, titled 'Questions found in Google autocomplete'. Embedded in the cloud are 5 single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks.]

:Questions found in Google Autocomplete

:Why do whales jump
:Why are witches green
:Why are there mirrors above beds
:Why do I say uh
:Why is sea salt better
:Why are there trees in the middle of fields
:Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
:Why is there laughing in TV shows
:Why are there doors on the freeway
:Why are there so many svchost.exe running
:Why aren't there any countries in antarctica
:Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
:Why is there kicking in my stomach
:Why are there two slashes after HTTP
:Why are there celebrities
:Why do snakes exist
:Why do oysters have pearls
:Why are ducks called ducks
:Why do they call it the clap
:Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
:Why is there an arraow on Aang's head
:Why are text messages blue
:Why are there mustaches on clothes
:Why are there mustaches on cars
:Why are there mustaches everywhere
:Why are there so many birds in Ohio
:Why is there so much rain in Ohio
:Why is Ohio weather so weird
:Why are there male and female bikes
:Why are there bridesmaids
:Why do dying people reach up
:Why aren't there varicose arteries
:Why are old Klingons different
:Why is programming so hard
:Why is there a 0 ohm resistor
:Why do Americans hate soccer
:Why do rhymes sound good
:Why do trees die
:Why is there no sound on CNN
:Why aren't Pokemon real
:Why aren't bullets sharp
:Why do dreams seem so real
:Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
:Why do iguanas die
:Why do testicles move
:Why are there psychics
:Why are hats so expensive
:Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
:Why do your boobs hurt
:Why aren't economists rich
:Why do Americans call it soccer
:Why are my ears ringing
:Why are there so many Avengers
:Why are the Avengers fighting the X men
:Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
:Why are there ants in my laptop
:Why is Earth tilted
:Why is space black
:Why is outer space so cold
:Why are there pyramids on the moon
:Why is NASA shutting down
:Why is there Hell if God forgives
:Why are there tiny spiders in my house
:Why do spiders come inside
:Why are there huge spiders in my house
:Why are there lots of spiders in my house
:Why are there spiders in my room
:Why are there so many spiders in my room
:Why do spider bites itch
:Why is dying so scary
:Why is there no GPS in laptops
:Why do knees click
:Why aren't there E grades
:Why is isolation bad
:Why do boys like me
:Why don't boys like me
:Why is there always a Java update
:Why are there red dots on my thighs
:Why is lying good
:Why is GPS free
:Why are trees tall
:Why are there slaves in the Bible
:Why do twins have different fingerprints
:Why are Americans afraid of dragons
:Why is there lava
:Why are there swarms of gnats
:Why is there phlegm
:Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
:Why is psychic weak to bug
:Why do children get cancer
:Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
:Why is there ice in space
:Why are there female Mr Mimes
:Why is there an owl in my backyard
:Why is there an owl outside my window
:Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
:Why do owls attack people
:Why are AK47s so expensive
:Why are there helicopters circling my house
:Why are there gods
:Why are there two Spocks
:Why is Mt Vesuvius there
:Why do they say T minus
:Why are there obelisks
:Why are wrestlers always wet
:Why are oceans becoming more acidic
:Why is Arwen dying
:Why aren't my quail laying eggs
:Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
:Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America
:Why is life so boring
:Why are my boobs itchy
:Why are cigarettes legal
:Why are there ducks in my pool
:Why is Jesus white
:Why is there liquid in my ear
:Why do Q tips feel good
:Why do good people die
:Why are ultrasounds important
:Why are ultrasound machines expensive
:Why is stealing wrong
:Why is YKK on all zippers
:Why is HTTPS crossed out in red
:Why is there a line through HTTPS
:Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook
:Why is HTTPS important
:Why are there weeks
:Why do I feel dizzy
:Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
:Why is there no king in England

:[We see Cueball from the torso up, with arms outstretched.]
:Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing

:[Megan stands with a grey ghost on either side of her.]
:Megan: Why are there ghosts

:[Beret Guy stands, looking at a squirrel.]
:Beret Guy: Why are there squirrels

:[Cueball stands.]
:Cueball: Why is sex so important.

:[We see Ponytail from the torso up.]
:Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Weather]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]

426: Geohashing

2020-02-21T08:07:24Z

162.158.58.183: /* Trivia */ stock market

{{comic
| number = 426
| date = May 21, 2008
| title = Geohashing
| image = geohashing.png
| titletext = Saturday is game night
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Geocaching}} is a sport where you have to find things hidden by other people based on geographical coordinates. Randall has had a similar idea before in [[201: Christmas GPS]].

[http://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/ Geohashing] is a sport created by Randall based on reaching a random location determined by an [http://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/Algorithm algorithm] that uses a {{w|hash function}} that involves the current date, location and the {{w|Dow Jones Industrial Average|Dow}} opening price. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is a {{w|stock market index}} dealt in New York City.

The algorithm is built in a way that:
*Makes it impossible to plan a meeting in advance - because of the Dow.
*Changes every day.
*Gathers people that are nearby - everyone within the same 1°×1° grid square gets the same position.

The algorithm works as follows:
# Take the current date in the format yyyy-mm-dd- and append the most recent opening value for the Dow Jones Industrial Average.
# Pass this string through the MD5 algorithm.
# Divide the hash value into two 16 character halves, and convert each half to a decimal.
# Take the integer portions of your current coordinates and append the decimal hash values.

{{w|MD5}} is a cryptographic hashing algorithm, and converts plaintext data into a seemingly random 128-bit (32 character) string. A good hashing algorithm should have three main properties: it is non-reversible and you cannot generate any plaintext data back from the hash, a given sample of data will always produce the same hash value, but even a tiny change to the original plaintext should produce an entirely different hash.

The example co-ordinates are for the Google headquarters in California, as you can see here: [https://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=37.421542+-122.085589&aq=&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=73.209607,135.263672&vpsrc=0&ie=UTF8&t=m&z=17&iwloc=A 37.421542 -122.085589]. The example date, May 26 2005, may reference the fact that the first edition of the Dow came out on May 26.

While geohashing was originally intended as a joke, there are people who geohash regularly. Please see the link to the xkcd wiki above.

The title text may imply that people should bring games to their geohashing location on the Saturday following the comic's release.

==Transcript==
:Date (example): 2005-05-26
:That date's (or most recent) DOW opening: 10458.68
:[Concatenate, with a hyphen: 2005-05-26-10458.68]
:md5: db9318c2259923d08b672cb305440f97
:[Split it up into two pieces:]
:0.db9318c2259923d0, 0.8b672cb305440f97
:To decimal: 0.857713..., 0.544544...
:Your location (example): 37.421542, -122.085589
:[Combine integer part of location with fractional part of hash:]
:Destination Coordinates: 37.857713, -122.544544
:Sample Implementation: <nowiki>http://xkcd.com/geohashing/</nowiki>

==Trivia==
* In response to comic [[353: Python]], the Python developers implemented the module <code>antigravity</code> in version 2.7+. This module contains a reference geohashing function.
* Due to the 2019 hacking of the XKCD forum server, which the Geohashing wiki was also hosted at, the wiki is unavailable until a more secure replacement is implemented.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Stock Market]]

768: 1996

2020-02-21T08:06:30Z

162.158.58.183: /* Explanation */ italics

<noinclude>:''This page refers to the comic named "1996". For comic #1996, see [[1996: Morning News]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 768
| date = July 19, 2010
| title = 1996
| image = 1996.png
| titletext = College Board issues aside, I have fond memories of TI-BASIC, writing in it a 3D graphing engine and a stock market analyzer. With enough patience, I could make anything... but friends. (Although with my chatterbot experiments, I certainly tried.)
}}

==Explanation==
There has been a stunning amount of progress in pretty much any measurable dimension of technology since 1996. We laugh at our prior naivete, pointing out that what would be a non-functionally awful computer now was considered state of the art at that time. Likewise with a {{w|PalmPilot|Palm Pilot}}, arguably a precursor to today's omnipresent smartphones. {{w|Texas Instruments|Texas Instrument (TI)}} calculators, however, appear to have been left behind, not having made any significant advances since the newly discovered issues of the US computer magazine ''{{w|Computer Shopper (US magazine)|Computer Shopper}}'' were published. Thus, while we groan at how awful our state of the art technologies truly were in 1996, we are reminded that some technologies have remained in relative stasis over the years.

The title text, after alluding to the fact that academia's practice of only allowing (or requiring) specific models is at the root of how TI can charge high prices for stagnant technology, reminds us that when they were new, TI calculators were relatively powerful tools if you knew how to use them. TI-Basic was a fairly versatile programming language that could be used to make anything from games to reference files to computational programs.

The second half of the title text is a reminder to those of us who felt like gods for knowing how to program that power comes at a price—in this case, the power to program a calculator costs [[866: Compass and Straightedge|friends]]. Since, as of this comic's publication date, no program yet devised had truly passed a Turing test, even the most sophisticated {{w|Chatterbot}} (program designed to mimic conversation) couldn't quite qualify as a friend. As of June 2014, however, [http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jun/08/super-computer-simulates-13-year-old-boy-passes-turing-test a computer convinced 33% of the people who spoke to it that it was a human, qualifying it to pass the Turing Test]. Though some [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/09/turing-test-eugene-goostman_n_5474457.html skepticism] on this point is [http://www.popsci.com/blog-network/boxplot/did-chatbot-really-pass-turing-test needed], as it only passed the University's contest, not the actual [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_test Turing test].

While many people aren't aware of them, TI ''does'' make more modern calculators in their {{w|TI-Nspire series}}, although they were introduced after this comic was published. The newest versions have color screens and (''finally!'') non-BASIC programming support through {{w|Lua (programming language)|Lua}}.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is going through a cardboard box marked "MISC", and finds a catalog. Megan looks on.]
:Cueball: Check it out - old ''Computer Shoppers!'' Wow - in 1996, $3,000 would get you a 100 MHz Pentium system with a parallel port, ''two'' serial ports, a 2MB video card, ''and'' "MS-Windows"
:Megan: ''Nice!''

:[The two are face-to-face, and they each have a separate copy of Computer Shopper.]
:Megan: And $299 would get you a Palm Pilot 100- - 16MHz, 128Kb storage, and a memo pad, calendar, and state-of-the-art address book that can store over 100 names!
:Cueball: Oooh!

:[Cueball continues to read from his.]
:Cueball: And $110 would get you a bulky TI graphing calculator with around 10MHz CPU, 24Kb RAM, and a 96x64-pixel B/W display!
:Megan: Times sure have... ...have... uh.

:[They both put down their catalogs.]
:Cueball: Okay, what the hell, T.I.?
:Megan: Maybe they cost so much now because there's only one engineer left who remembers how to make displays ''that'' crappy.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category: Computers]]

768: 1996

2020-02-21T08:04:25Z

162.158.58.183: /* Transcript */ computers

<noinclude>:''This page refers to the comic named "1996". For comic #1996, see [[1996: Morning News]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 768
| date = July 19, 2010
| title = 1996
| image = 1996.png
| titletext = College Board issues aside, I have fond memories of TI-BASIC, writing in it a 3D graphing engine and a stock market analyzer. With enough patience, I could make anything... but friends. (Although with my chatterbot experiments, I certainly tried.)
}}

==Explanation==
There has been a stunning amount of progress in pretty much any measurable dimension of technology since 1996. We laugh at our prior naivete, pointing out that what would be a non-functionally awful computer now was considered state of the art at that time. Likewise with a {{w|PalmPilot|Palm Pilot}}, arguably a precursor to today's omnipresent smartphones. {{w|Texas Instruments|Texas Instrument (TI)}} calculators, however, appear to have been left behind, not having made any significant advances since the newly discovered issues of the US computer magazine {{w|Computer Shopper (US magazine)|Computer Shopper}} were published. Thus, while we groan at how awful our state of the art technologies truly were in 1996, we are reminded that some technologies have remained in relative stasis over the years.

The title text, after alluding to the fact that academia's practice of only allowing (or requiring) specific models is at the root of how TI can charge high prices for stagnant technology, reminds us that when they were new, TI calculators were relatively powerful tools if you knew how to use them. TI-Basic was a fairly versatile programming language that could be used to make anything from games to reference files to computational programs.

The second half of the title text is a reminder to those of us who felt like gods for knowing how to program that power comes at a price—in this case, the power to program a calculator costs [[866: Compass and Straightedge|friends]]. Since, as of this comic's publication date, no program yet devised had truly passed a Turing test, even the most sophisticated {{w|Chatterbot}} (program designed to mimic conversation) couldn't quite qualify as a friend. As of June 2014, however, [http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jun/08/super-computer-simulates-13-year-old-boy-passes-turing-test a computer convinced 33% of the people who spoke to it that it was a human, qualifying it to pass the Turing Test]. Though some [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/09/turing-test-eugene-goostman_n_5474457.html skepticism] on this point is [http://www.popsci.com/blog-network/boxplot/did-chatbot-really-pass-turing-test needed], as it only passed the University's contest, not the actual [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_test Turing test].

While many people aren't aware of them, TI ''does'' make more modern calculators in their {{w|TI-Nspire series}}, although they were introduced after this comic was published. The newest versions have color screens and (''finally!'') non-BASIC programming support through {{w|Lua (programming language)|Lua}}.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is going through a cardboard box marked "MISC", and finds a catalog. Megan looks on.]
:Cueball: Check it out - old ''Computer Shoppers!'' Wow - in 1996, $3,000 would get you a 100 MHz Pentium system with a parallel port, ''two'' serial ports, a 2MB video card, ''and'' "MS-Windows"
:Megan: ''Nice!''

:[The two are face-to-face, and they each have a separate copy of Computer Shopper.]
:Megan: And $299 would get you a Palm Pilot 100- - 16MHz, 128Kb storage, and a memo pad, calendar, and state-of-the-art address book that can store over 100 names!
:Cueball: Oooh!

:[Cueball continues to read from his.]
:Cueball: And $110 would get you a bulky TI graphing calculator with around 10MHz CPU, 24Kb RAM, and a 96x64-pixel B/W display!
:Megan: Times sure have... ...have... uh.

:[They both put down their catalogs.]
:Cueball: Okay, what the hell, T.I.?
:Megan: Maybe they cost so much now because there's only one engineer left who remembers how to make displays ''that'' crappy.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category: Computers]]

1971: Personal Data

2020-02-21T08:00:32Z

162.158.58.183: /* Transcript */ stocks

{{comic
| number = 1971
| date = March 23, 2018
| title = Personal Data
| image = personal_data.png
| titletext = Do I just leave money in my mailbox? How much? How much money do they need, anyway? I guess it probably depends how the economy is doing. If stocks go up, should I leave more money in my mailbox or less?
}}

==Explanation==
This is another comic poking fun at adults who have trouble dealing with grown-up issues.

The comic starts with [[Cueball]] wondering what "{{w|personal data}}" is, saying he doesn't understand what it is, and it is an abstract concept. [[Ponytail]] follows by pointing out she doesn't understand what "{{w|Economy|the economy}}" is, and conjecturing that it is related to "{{w|Stock|stocks}}", although admitting that she also does not understand what stocks are. The punchline comes when [[White Hat]] says that he doesn't understand what "{{w|taxes}}" are and asks if he really has to pay them and to whom. This surprises Cueball and Ponytail, who promptly advise him to learn about that one soon. The title text has White Hat asking another series of tax-related questions that adults are expected to know already, further compounding his troubles. See details on these four difficult [[#Topics|topics]] below.

The joke is that White Hat has mistakenly associated taxes with the economy and personal data as "grown-up" topics which are too confusing to fully grasp. Like the other two topics, taxes are a complex issue which many adults don't fully understand and have a vague sense that they should know more about or interact with. However, most people can remain passively ignorant about the significance of the economy or personal data without it disrupting their lives; this is not true of taxes, which people must actively pay and file annually or suffer financial and possibly criminal penalties.

White Hat not knowing what taxes are indicates that he may not have paid his taxes in previous years, which would be alarming since tax evasion is punishable as a crime. Ponytail's remark that he should do this ideally in the next few weeks is referring to this year's US {{w|Tax Day (United States)|Tax Day}} which falls on April 17, 2018, less than four weeks after the release of this comic. So if you do not have your tax preparation under control, it is time to research how it works now.

This is not the first time [[Randall]] has made a comic about people having trouble understanding the US tax system in relation to an approaching tax day. Other instances include the title text of [[1805: Unpublished Discoveries]] from March the year before this comic, and this one from August 2015: [[1566: Board Game]].

===Topics===
This comic references several advanced topics that people commonly talk about, but may not actually understand well:

====Personal data====
Personal data is usually thought of as any information that pertains to a private person. But this definition is very vague and can encompass a huge variety of data ranging from very sensitive (Social Security number, bank account details, passwords) to less sensitive (first name, color of pet cat). Different people also have different ideas of what information is considered sensitive. For example, some may want eagerly to share the location of their weekend activity with the world, whereas others may prefer not to let everyone know their location.

Even though it is generally advised to keep personal data private and not to expose it to the public or to companies (especially online, e.g. Facebook and Google), not everyone agrees on the level of privacy that should be afforded to the data. Some hold the view that even innocent-looking personal data can be harvested and used for unsavory purposes (for example, a health insurance company can use social media posts about eating fast food as a cause to raise premiums, or a government can use cat pictures as evidence of pet ownership and demand license fees), and therefore all personal data should be strictly controlled. Others hold the view that sometimes it is worth exchanging some degree of privacy for other conveniences (for example, meeting friends by sharing their location info or getting cheaper prices from targeted advertising based on web browsing history).

Personal data breaches were in the news a few days before the publishing of this comic when the UK's Channel Four released an investigative documentary about political consulting firm Cambridge Analytica. Among the revelations of the documentary were that the company had used Facebook to not only harvest the personal data of users taking their polls, but the friends and family of those users, without their knowledge or consent. They used this information to attempt to influence both the 2016 United States elections and the UK's 'Brexit' vote. This sparked an ongoing discussion about the security of personal data and the role of social media in securing it. Such data breaches has been the topic of at least one previous comic: [[1286: Encryptic]].

Technological changes in the past few decades have made personal data much easier to collect, share, and analyze in bulk, raising new questions and concerns that have not been considered before. Even people who can define what data is personal to them may not realize the full extent of how others might use it, or how it impacts their lives.

====The economy====
The economy, at a basic level, is the circulation of money which enables productivity. For example, a bus driver might use their money to watch a movie, the movie producer might use their revenue (gathered from the bus driver and many others) to purchase editing software, the software maker might use their revenue (from the movie producer and others) to buy food, and the food producer might use that money to take a bus, thus returning the money back to the bus driver. The total amount of money has not changed, it merely circulated in a loop, but everyone in the loop received benefits and produced value in the form of goods or services.

The real world economy has much larger and more complex networks of buyers and producers compared to the example above, but nevertheless it works on the same principle. Many people correctly associate the economy with money (or stocks in Ponytail's case), but may not understand the full picture.

Circulation of money is critical to a healthy economy. In a recession, financial hardship causes people to spend less money, which leads to fewer goods being produced, fewer jobs available, and people earning and spending even less money. That is why (somewhat counter-intuitively) governments need to spend ''more'' money during a recession in order to infuse money back into the economy and get it circulating again. The Federal Reserve lowering interest rates is also a planned, strategic move to increase the money supply, which encourages investment and economic growth.

Randall made a comic where stock and economy was an integral part of the largest of the panels: [[980: Money]]

====Stocks====
Stocks in this context refers to companies listed on public stock exchanges, in which investors can buy and sell an economic stake, or share of the company's ownership. Companies offer stocks as a way to raise funds for its operation and expansion, selling off partial ownership of the company in exchange for cash. Investors mainly trade stocks for financial gain as well, collecting part of the company's profits as dividends and potentially selling the same shares at a higher price later.

The value of stocks depends on a subjective valuation of the company. Stock price generally rises if the company is doing well and investors expect it to keep growing and make more profit. It generally falls if the company is doing poorly and investors don't see a brighter future. However, it is also influenced easily by external factors like political climate, release of (mis-)information, or even investors' mood. It is very hard even for experts to predict stock price movements accurately. This is why scientist should not think they can figure out the stock market, which was the topic of this comic: [[1570: Engineer Syllogism]].

Through pension funds, mutual funds and other investment vehicles, a large portion of the population of developed countries have an indirect stake in the success (or otherwise) of many of the businesses that make up a significant element of the economy (see above). An economy that is experiencing healthy growth would generally see the value of those businesses increase, and that is reflected in the value at which investors would be willing to buy and sell those shares. So a growing economy would tend to associated with rising stock prices.

In the past, stock ownership has been tracked using paper certificates which owners can hold and store, like cash. Nowadays most stock transactions are performed electronically and no physical items are sent. The intangibility of shares and volatility in price makes stocks feel like only a virtual concept that can be hard to grasp.

====Taxes====
Taxes are money that governments collect from people under their jurisdiction in order to fund government agencies providing public services. To answer White Hat's other questions (including the ones in the title text):
* Almost every adult with income is incentivised to pay taxes (or at least submit a tax return showing no taxes owed).
* Tax returns and payments are submitted to the government (Internal Revenue Service for federal taxes in the US).
* The amount is calculated based on income and deductions as defined by applicable tax laws.
* How much they're incentivised is defined by the government's budget, which is renewed periodically.
* How the economy is doing does have some impact on how the budget is planned.
* Stock prices may have an impact on a person's reported income, but this is not a major concern for most people, as it is unlikely that they receive much of their income from stocks.
* Do not leave money in your mailbox, period! It will not be mailed, and may end up stolen. If you want to send money through the postal service, you need a money order.

While the concept of paying taxes is simple, the processing of filling out the paperwork is often complex and laborious. This is because the calculations leading to the final tax amount needs to take many many factors into account:
* Everyone has a different amount of income, and taxes are usually not a simple number or fixed percentage of income.
* Some taxes are withheld ahead of time (e.g. employers usually deduct taxes from pay checks before employees receive them), while others are not (e.g. no one takes away taxes before a waiter collects their tip).
* Different forms of income can be disincentivised differently (e.g. salary vs. investment gains).
* Some expenses can be incentivised (e.g. medical costs, charitable donations, retirement savings).
* There are multiple different taxes (federal vs. state and local, income tax vs. sales tax, etc.) that can affect each other.
... and much more.

Most people would not be familiar enough with the tax code to be able to do all their paperwork alone.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is talking to Ponytail and White Hat. Both of them are looking at Cueball.]
:Cueball: Everyone keeps talking about "personal data." To be honest, I don't really know what it ''is''.
:Cueball: I mean, I understand the idea and know it's a thing I should protect. But it's so... abstract.

:[Close-up on Ponytail.]
:Ponytail: Yeah.
:Ponytail: It's like "the economy." I don't really know what the economy is, if we're getting specific. I know stocks going up is good. For people who own stocks, at least.
:Ponytail: Whatever "stocks" are.

:[White Hat responds holding his arms slightly out. Both Ponytail and Cueball are looking at him.]
:White Hat: Yeah, or taxes. Everyone talks about taxes. What '''''are''''' they? Do '''''I''''' have to pay them? And to who?
:Cueball: OK, wait, you definitely need to learn about that one.
:Ponytail: Yeah, ideally sometime in the next few weeks.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Stock Market]]

1997: Business Update

2020-02-21T07:59:26Z

162.158.58.183: /* Transcript */ stocks

{{comic
| number = 1997
| date = May 23, 2018
| title = Business Update
| image = business_update.png
| titletext = Our customers keep sending us their personal information, even though we've repeatedly asked them to stop. The EU told me I'm the heir to some ancient European throne that makes me exempt from the GDPR, but we should probably still try to fix that.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic shows a meeting at [[Beret Guy]]'s business (as seen in [[:Category:Beret Guy's Business|these other comics]]). As usual, those in the business demonstrate a misuse of business terminology and take strange happenings within the business in stride.

Though maintaining a semblance of business-savviness through the use of many corporate buzzwords, it becomes clear that what is normally metaphorical in a usual boardroom meeting is here quite likely meant literally. The Quarterly Reports, described as "looking good," may be literally physically attractive (rather than recording successful business dealings). Beret Guy's comment that "the office is full of cash" is superficially positive, but knowing Beret Guy, it seems likely that the office is literally full of money, like pins, dollar bills, twenty dollar bills, etc. and not simply economically well-off. Most businesses keep their money in banks, and any business that keeps all their money insecurely in the office is either criminally shady or incompetent.

Stocks (as in the stock market, a.k.a. shares) are being manufactured. Stocks are valuable, so from an outside perspective making more of them would create value. However, the humor of this situation is that in real life, creating shares from nothing would reduce the value of existing shares (as the combined value of stocks should add up to the total value of the company... so creating more stocks means each has to be worth less to make the addition balance out). This is ironic in that typically stocks represent the value of the company, rather than being the product being created.

Alternatively, the company may be producing the leg restraints known as {{w|Stocks|stocks}}. It's unlikely that there would be many people wishing to buy these stocks. Conversely, if what they are making is ''soup'' stocks, then it could be related to the 'rapid growth' (i.e., obesity) of the customers.

"Rapid growth" is something a business is supposed to attain for itself or its userbase, not its individual customers. If the customers are not children they are likely very concerned by this rapid growth, as should be Beret Guy if the rapid growth is being caused by his business and its products.

"Liquidating assets" typically means that assets are being sold off for money rather than being retained or used. Assets "liquidated" in a thermostat glitch, meanwhile, may have been literally melted ("turned into liquid"). It could also mean that their infrastructure is so hilariously messed up (and/or the assets so bizarre) that a simple glitch in a thermostat somehow resulted in the loss of a large amount of the company's assets. Note that this type of thing is not entirely unheard of, as shown by [https://thehackernews.com/2018/04/iot-hacking-thermometer.html a hack of a thermostat in a casino that led to massive data loss in 2017].

"Original content" is a catch-all term for unique creative products created by a website, e.g. articles, videos or TV shows. However, it is not typically used to describe sinks, which only provide water. Since the business team regards it as a problem, this means the sink is likely leaking or backing up, possibly with polluted water or rotting food waste (depending on how "original" this original content is).

Transmuting lead into gold was a {{w|Nuclear transmutation#Alchemy|goal of alchemists}} for many centuries. With modern nuclear technology, it is actually now possible to accomplish transmutation of lead into gold, and gold into lead. While the expense far exceeds the value of the gold produced by such methods, it seems plausible that, given Beret Guy's surpassing strangeness, his company may be successfully and cheaply transmuting large quantities of lead into gold and back again. Since gold is worth much more than lead in today's market, the first transmutation could indeed result in major profit, while the reverse would obviously result in major losses, and be a rather pointless undertaking for a typical, profit-oriented business.

It is also worth noting that the "largest source of revenue" may not be producing much if any revenue at all; it can still be the biggest if there are no others. On the other hand, past experience with Beret Guy's business would indicate that this company is [[1032: Networking|making plenty of money]], though they aren't necessarily sure [[1493: Meeting|how]].

In the last panel, "the girl from ''The Ring''" refers to Sadako Yamamura, the antagonist of {{w|The Ring (film series)|the ''Ring'' series by Koji Suzuki}}, or her counterpart Samara Morgan from the {{w|The_Ring_(2002_film)|American remake}}, who has been referenced by xkcd several times in the past as in [[396: The Ring]]. One of Sadako/Samara's supernatural abilities is to appear in television screens as well as exit from them into the real world. Beret Guy claims she has done this several times in their video conferences, which may be possible if someone has hacked their video feed to play footage from the 2002 movie. However, some of Beret Guy's employees then proceed to remark that she has made contributions to the meetings in question, implying that the image of Yamamura is not only alive but sentient and communicating with the employees, rather than killing them as she typically does in her movies. It's also possible that Yamamura is simply the recording from the series, and her contributions are just in keeping with the general tone of the company's video conferences. Either way, it would appear that Beret Guy's sheer eccentricity has affected his staff to the point that a digital spectre would not be an abnormal employee; they're also oddly nonchalant about a movie character appearing in the real world, and at Samara's out-of-character behavior.

The title text refers to the May 25 deadline to implement the European Union's {{w|GDPR|General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)}}; this comic parodies a business meeting about what the company is doing to prepare for it. However, while normally the problem would be how to handle the customers' personal information that the company requires to retain in order to do business, in this case it seems the company does not require personal information at all, and instead, customers are sending them theirs on their own (and they refuse to stop doing it!). Even more bizarrely, Beret Guy was told by the EU (or at least he thinks he was told by the EU) that he is exempt because he is royalty of some kind, which would give him {{w|Sovereign immunity}}, but he wants to fix this problem anyway, just to be on the safe side.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy, Ponytail, Hairy, Hairbun and Megan sit around a table, left to right. Beret Guy and Megan are sitting on chairs at the ends. All others are behind the table with no visible chairs. All characters face Beret Guy.]
:Beret Guy: Quarterly reports are looking good.
:Beret Guy: Our office is full of cash, we're producing stocks faster than ever before, and our customers are experiencing rapid growth.
:Beret Guy: Any updates?

:[Closeup on Ponytail, facing left.]
:Ponytail: Bad news: many of our assets were liquidated this morning due to a thermostat glitch.
:Ponytail: Good news: the sink in the kitchen has stopped producing original content.

:[Same as panel one, but characters are facing Megan.]
:Beret Guy: How are our finances?
:Megan: Our biggest source of revenue is our ongoing project to transmute lead into gold.
:Megan: Our biggest expense is our project to transmute it back.

:[Closeup on Beret Guy, facing right, offset to the left of the panel. Two characters speak from off-panel right.]
:Beret Guy: Lastly, any luck getting the girl from ''The Ring'' to stop showing up in our video conferences?
:Off-panel person 1: No, but honestly, she's made some good contributions.
:Off-panel person 2: Yeah, I think we should hire her.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Beret Guy's Business]]
[[Category:Stock Market]]

Category:Stock Market

2020-02-21T07:56:38Z

162.158.58.183: Descrbe

These are comics related to the {{w|stock market}}.

[[Category:Comics by topic]]