explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2205: Types of Approximation

2019-09-22T14:57:58Z

162.158.62.207:

{{comic
| number = 2205
| date = September 20, 2019
| title = Types of Approximation
| image = types_of_approximation.png
| titletext = It's not my fault I haven't had a chance to measure the curvature of this particular universe.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an APPROXIMATOR. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In physics and engineering, problem solving typically requires {{w|approximation}}s, as physical properties of the universe can be difficult to model. For example, in introductory physics classes, theories are introduced in frictionless environments. The level of precision required in a calculation or approximation varies depending on the context.

In the comic, [[Cueball]], the physicist, generally dealing with theoretical constructs that can use straight math, is introducing a problem with the assumption that the particular curve is a (perfectly) circular arc with a radius represented by R. Engineers have to deal with real things, which deviate from ideal shapes. Dimensions may be known to a certain tolerance. [[Megan]], the engineer, also assumes that the curve is similar to a circle, with a deviation factor of 1/1000.

The joke arises when [[Ponytail]], the cosmologist, uses the much less precise approximation of {{w|pi}} (π) equal to 1.

Ponytail offering to use 10 instead of 1 alludes to [//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermi_problem Fermi approximations], as shown in [https://what-if.xkcd.com/84/ Paint the Earth]. Numbers are rounded to the nearest order of magnitude (1, 10, 100, etc.) using a base 10 logarithmic scale. On this scale, "halfway" between 1 and 10 would be √10 ≈ 3.16. Thus, numbers between about 0.316 and 3.16 are rounded to 1, between 3.16 and 31.6 are rounded to 10, and so on. Pi is an irrational number usually truncated to 3.14, so it is very close to this cutoff point. The closest order of magnitude to pi is 10 to the 0 power, or 1. But using this form of estimation it doesn't really matter to Ponytail whether pi is approximated to 1 or 10.

This comic is a parody of the tendency of {{w|cosmology}} to use much rougher approximations in their work that would horrify engineers. In general, astronomers deal with masses and distances that are so vast that approximations that would be ridiculous elsewhere still yield reasonable answers in astronomy. When dealing with large numbers, small multiplicative factors vanish into the rounding error: there isn't a useful difference between 10100 and 10100.497.

Pi is defined as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its diameter. This number is an irrational starting with 3.14 when the geometry is flat. But in curved spaces, the ratios are different. The title text makes use of the fact that almost every number can be pi depending on the curvature of the place the circle is residing. The cosmologist doesn't know the curvature of the universe, and so traditional values of Pi may not be more accurate.

Approximating Pi as 1 may also refer to the habit astronomers have of changing the units of measure such that important constants of the universe (such as the speed of light or the gravitational constant) are equal to 1, which highly simplifies the formulas without compromising the math. The number pi, however, is a dimensionless ratio, which doesn't depend on the unit of measure.

==Transcript==
:[Three panels show the same setup with three different characters. In the upper-right corner of each panel is the lower-left portion of a wheel and hub diagram, showing two spokes going out to a curved rail. The two spokes connect to the rail with a small raised potiopn on the inside of the rail. There are both readable and unreadable text/symbols both outside and inside the curve and an equation below the curved rail. There are two small squares with readable labels. The three different characters are all holding a pointer up to the diagram while explaining an assumption. In the last panel an off-panel voice interrupts the speaker. This means the text from the reply to this comment goes further down over the diagram, so the top is hidden by text, compared to the first two. Above each panel is a label with the character's profession. As the text on the diagram is the same on all three panel, this text is shown here:]
:r1
:r2
:d=2π(r1+r2)/2

:[Panel 1 - Cueball. Caption above:]
:Physicist Approximations
:Cueball: We'll assume the curve of this rail is a circular arc with radius ''R''.

:[Panel 2 - Megan. Caption above:]
:Engineer Approximations
:Megan: Let's assume this curve deviates from a circle by no more than 1 part in 1,000.

:[Panel 3 - Ponytail. Caption above:]
:Cosmologist Approximations
:Ponytail: Assume pi is one.
:Off-panel voice: Pretty sure it's bigger than that.
:Ponytail: OK, we can make it ten. Whatever.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

521: 2008 Christmas Special

2018-07-05T12:12:11Z

162.158.62.207: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 521
| date = December 24, 2008
| title = 2008 Christmas Special
| image = 2008_christmas_special.png
| titletext = 'How could you possibly think typing 'import skynet' was a good idea?'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is the xkcd Christmas Special from the year 2008. The prologue states that due to the {{w|2008 financial crisis}}, only very few images of the strip could be produced, leaving the others to be blacked out. It is therefore left to the reader to reconstruct the whole story based on the given images. While it is claimed that the reconstruction should be rather easy, the complicated and abstruse plot-line makes it nearly impossible to fill the gaps. Any attempt at inferring the missing images would therefore be largely guesswork. The comic features the well-known xkcd characters getting involved in a strange fight with cyborgs and raptors on Christmas Eve.

The line "We apologize for the inconvenience." is possibly a reference to the famous book series ''{{w|The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy}}'' by {{w|Douglas Adams}}. It appears there as God's Final Message to His Creation, written in letters of fire on the side of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains.

'''Panel 2:''' [[Megan]] strives to outdo some Christmas lights she has seen on YouTube.

'''Panel 3:''' Dissatisfied with her work, Megan is thinking about alternative ways improve her light arrangement. The idea of firing {{w|Sodium}} pellets into snow is probably a bad one, as Sodium reacts exothermically with water and may, in large amounts, induce explosions.

'''Panel 5:''' Probably still obsessed with the idea of creating a large and impressive light display, Megan has constructed an electronic device with an {{w|Arduino}} processor, perhaps to make the light chain show patterns. However, the amount of energy she used was apparently too high, causing one of the control boards to sublimate- go directly from a solid to a gaseous state without an intermediate liquid phase. She then wishes she could make the system self-repairing.

'''Panel 7:''' Megan's device has developed {{w|artificial intelligence}}, allowing it to feel. This is presumably a result of Megan attempting to make the device self-repairing. This common trope in science-fiction works usually leads to the system's attempting to eradicate its creator. [[Cueball]] attributes the emergence of a personality to awesome ease and power of programming in {{w|Python (programming language)|Python}}.

'''Panel 11:''' Out of context, this panel introduces the idea of {{w|Santa Claus}} being a {{w|Muslim}}. This may be a reference to the persistent Internet rumors that Barack Obama is a Muslim, though he declares himself to be a Christian. However, the statement could also relate to the fact the Santa Claus is usually displayed with a large beard, which is sometimes also sported by conservative Muslims. Or it could just be non-sensical.

'''Panel 13:''' At this point the self-aware Christmas light control systems has apparently released {{w|cyborgs}} that tried to kill Megan and Cueball. In order to repel the cyborgs, they have cloned {{w|Velociraptors}}. Cueball expresses doubt whether that was really a good idea. Velociraptors appear frequently in xkcd, as seen in [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Velociraptors these comics]

'''Panel 17:''' As predicted, the raptors have gone wild, but Megan, Cueball and the two smaller characters (perhaps their children) managed to cage the dinosaurs. They believe themselves safe unless the raptors learn how to build {{w|lightsabers}}. This is a reference to a line in ''Jurrasic Park'' where the main characters believe themselves safe, unless the raptors can learn how to open doors.

'''Panel 19:''' The raptors have indeed succeeded with constructing lightsabers and must now be fought. The "Clever girl" is a reference to a line from ''Jurassic Park'' where the raptors outflank (and kill) one of the human characters wearing a similar hat.

'''Panel 23:''' IT billionaire {{w|Bill Gates}} has mistakenly killed Santa Claus, possibly in a sword fight. He claims to have mistaken him for {{w|Richard Stallman}}, a prominent {{w|free software}} activist. (Gates strongly opposes the idea of free software and is therefore considered an antagonist by many of its supporters.) The most striking resemblance between Stallman and Santa Claus is probably the long and untamed beard. Comic [[225]] is one of the most famous xkcd comics and features Stallman involved in a sword fight.

'''Panel 29:''' Megan asks [[Black Hat]] where he obtained the enormously large {{w|christmas tree}} that can be seen on the right side of the picture. It is implied that he logged {{w|Yggdrasil}}, a giant ash tree in Norse mythology. According to tradition, Yggdrasil is the world tree representing the whole of creation and holding together the cosmological structure.

'''Panel 31:''' [[Randall]] wishes Merry Christmas to all xkcd readers.

The title text refers to panel 7. In Python, modules are imported using the "import ''module''" syntax. {{w|Skynet (Terminator)|Skynet}} is a self-aware artificial intelligence system featured in the ''{{w|Terminator}}'' film series as the main antagonist. Importing the skynet module might therefore account for Megan's system's developing an evil personality.

Note that this comic was first published in another version that had panel 29 as panel 27 and the "Merry Christmas from xkcd" message at the bottom. As 27 is not a {{w|prime number}}, the current version was published in lieu of the erroneous one.

It has been observed that the top left nine panels form a {{w|Glider (Conway's Life)|Glider}} in ''{{w|Conway's Game of Life}}''. The glider is sometimes used as an emblem representing {{w|hacker subculture}}, although rotated by 90 degrees. It remains however unclear whether the occurrence in the comic is intentional or owed to the prime number pattern.

==Transcript==
:The 2008 XKCD Christmas Special
:Due to the slowing economy, we could only afford to produce the prime-numbered panels.
:You should be able to infer the missing parts of the story easily enough.
:We apologize for the inconvenience.
:[The first panel is blank.]
:[Megan carrying Christmas lights and Cueball watching.]
:Megan: I'm going to one-up those Christmas light displays on YouTube.
:[Megan thinking.]
:Megan: Hmm. Needs more flair. Do you know what happens when you fire sodium pellets into a snowbank?
:Cueball: No.
:Megan: Me neither.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan sitting in front of a console.]
:Megan: Whoops, one of the Arduino control boards sublimated.
:Megan: If only I could make it self-repairing...
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Shit. The system has become sentient.
:Cueball: Friggin' Python.
:System: GRAAARR!
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Megan showing laptop to Cueball.]
:Megan: But according to this email forward, Santa is secretly a Muslim!
:Cueball: It explains everything!
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Okay, the cloned raptors are hunting the last of the cyborgs. We're safe.
:Cueball: Are you sure you thought this through?
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Two couples appear in this next panel.]
:Cueball: Are the raptors contained?
:Ponytail: Sure. Unless they figure out how to build lightsabers.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Guy with hat fighting with a raptor using lightsabers.]
:Cueball: It's all right. I've got her.
:[Lightsaber appears from behind.]
:Snap-hiss!
:Cueball: ...Clever girl.
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Bill Gates is holding a weapon over Santa's body. The two girls are watching.]
:Megan: Great. Bill Gates kills Santa.
:Bill Gates: I thought it was Stallman with a dyed beard.
:[The next five panels are blank.]
:[Megan and Black Hat are looking at a tree.]
:Megan: Where did you get this Christmas tree?
:Black Hat: Nowhere.
:Megan: Did you cut down the Yggdrasil?
:Black Hat: ...Maybe.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan and Cueball holding hands and looking at reader.]
:Merry Christmas from XKCD <3
:[The last panel is blank.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Richard Stallman]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Christmas]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]

1520: Degree-Off

2018-07-03T13:14:28Z

162.158.62.207: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1520
| date = May 4, 2015
| title = Degree-Off
| image = degree off.png
| titletext = I'M SORRY, FROM YOUR YEARS OF CONDESCENDING TOWARD THE 'SQUISHY SCIENCES', I ASSUMED YOU'D BE A LITTLE HARDER.
}}
==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] (physics), a grown-up [[Science Girl]] (biology), and [[Megan]] (chemistry) appear to be on a talk show called Degree-Off, hosted by [[Hairy]], where representatives of different fields, try to explain why their field is the best and why to get a degree in their field. The title "Degree-Off" is a portmanteau of "{{w|Academic degree|degree}}", as in the recognized completion of studies at a school or university, and "{{w|face-off}}", a direct confrontation between two people or groups. Since there are three participants, this is not a true face-off, unless Megan, who does not speak, is not counted.

The host asks the physicist Cueball to go first. He light-heartedly begins to tell what appears to be long story, beginning with a {{w|Richard Feynman}} anecdote. During the {{w|Manhattan Project}} in Los Alamos, Richard Feynman got bored because of the isolation and started learning {{w|lock picking}} on the secret documents safes. Using these new skills, he played lots of pranks on his colleagues, like leaving notes and spooking them into believing there was a spy among them (which, of course, {{w|Klaus_Fuchs|there was}}). He finishes his case with [http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford a quote] from {{w|Ernest Rutherford}}, implying that his speech was quite long and winding. The quote communicates the idea that physics is the only fundamental framework, so that the job of chemists, biologists and other scientist simply is to catalog and systematize observations ("collect stamps") on phenomena too complicated to presently be fully described in terms of physics. This idea was earlier lampooned by [[Randall]] in [[435: Purity]] (and is also stated in the title text of [[1158: Rubber Sheet]]).

The biologist goes next, showing with a graph (see below) that the field of biology has helped reduce disease. She then goes on to claim that the heroes in biology (the part known as Medicine) have even "slain" one of the {{w|Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse}}. Popular culture often names the Horsemen "Pestilence", "War", "Famine", and "Death" - Science Girl implies that the field of biology has almost eliminated {{w|Four_Horsemen_of_the_Apocalypse#As_infectious_disease|Pestilence}}. The imagery of Pestilence being thwarted by modern medicine was also used in the book {{w|Good Omens}}, by {{w|Terry Pratchett}} (of whom Randall is a fan, see [[1498: Terry Pratchett]]) and {{w|Neil Gaiman}}, where Pestilence has retired after the discovery of {{w|Penicillin}}, and been replaced by {{w|Pollution}}.

The graph shows the death rate from infectious disease in USA, similar to that shown in the comic presented by Science Girl, as both have the range of 1900-2000. The spike is attributable to the {{w|1918 flu pandemic}}. It has been published in the paper [http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=768249 Trends in Infectious Disease Mortality in the United States During the 20th Century].

Science Girl then goes on to directly accuse Cueball (i.e. physicists) of creating a new Horseman to replace the one slain by the biologists. She claims that they gathered in the desert to do so. Given Cueball's opening remark, she must be referring to the development of the {{w|atomic bomb}}, which was built and tested in the {{w|New Mexico desert}}. The new horseman is therefore the atomic bomb, or the various perils associated with it.

Science Girl's implied condemnation of the physics community has been echoed by some of the scientists involved in the project itself. After the test detonation of the first nuclear weapon on July 16, 1945, {{w|J. Robert Oppenheimer}}, the director of the {{w|Los Alamos National Laboratory}}, found himself quoting the {{w|Bhagavad Gita}}: "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

This harsh moral judgement shocks Cueball, who exclaims "I thought this was supposed to be fun and lighthearted!" While the set-up is of a frivolous friendly competition, Science Girl's presentation is surprisingly dark. Her retort in the final panel reveals that she was angered by the off-hand dismissal of 'soft' sciences as "stamp-collecting", and turned the game from a light-hearted fun into something more disturbing.

In the title text the biologist goes on to declare in {{w|All caps}} that she is surprised a physicist isn't "harder", after all their condescending towards the "squishy" sciences. The use of 'hard' and 'squishy' is a play on the colloquial division between the so-called 'hard' sciences (such as physics and chemistry) and 'soft' sciences (such as biology and geology). 'Hard' sciences usually refer to the perception that in fields like physics, precisely repeatable experiments and measurements are possible, as opposed to 'soft' sciences seen as placing less emphasis on precisely quantifiable predictability - however Science Girl is extending 'hard' to its meaning of 'stoic', mocking Cueball for not being able to weather a personal moral attack. Again she is indicating that she's upset by directly referencing a mocking portrayal of other fields allegedly made by Cueball.

To be fair to Cueball, the outbreak of disease is more a topic for epidemiology, and biology has spawned multiple diseases, atrocities, and bad movies. However, the Manhattan Project probably symbolized the death of any hope of peaceful resolution in {{w|Cold War|future tensions.}}

In [[520: Cuttlefish]] Randall shows that he personally respects biologists - or at least fears them.

Within a year Randall has made several other comics about nuclear weapons, this one was the first of these the second, [[1539: Planning]], came out just 1½ month after this one and after that these two were released early in 2016: [[1626: Judgment Day]] and [[1655: Doomsday Clock]]. Nuclear weapons are also mentioned twice in ''[[Thing Explainer]]'', specifically they are explained in the explanation for ''Machine for burning cities'' about {{w|Thermonuclear weapon|thermonuclear bombs}}, but they are also mentioned in ''Boat that goes under the sea'' about a submarine that carries nukes. All three comics and both explanations in the book, does like this comic, comment on how crazy it is that we have created enough firepower to obliterate Earth several times (or at least scourge it for any human life).

==Transcript==
:[Hairy is acting as the host of a TV talk show, ''Degree-Off'' holding a microphone up. Cueball, Hairbun, and Megan are acting as representatives of physics, biology and chemistry respectively. They each stand behind their own lectern with the respective subject label.]
:Hairy: Welcome to the '''''Degree-Off''''', where we determine which field is the best! Physics, wanna go first?
:Cueball (Phys): Sure! I'd like to tell the story of Richard Feynman's Manhattan project lockpicking pranks...
:Labels: Phys Bio Chem

:[Zoom in so Megan is no longer visible. Cueball lifts his hand]
:Cueball (Phys): ...and as he said, "all science is either physics or stamp collecting."
:Cueball (Phys): <smal>Thank you.</smal>
:Hairy: ''Great!'' Bio, you wanna go next?
:Hairbun (Bio): Okay.
:Labels: Phys Bio

:[Zoom in on Hairbun so only she and her lectern are shown. A graph is shown above her. There us a label for the y-axis to the left of the axis which has four ticks with numbers. The x-axis is a timeline without ticks but three years indicating the start center and end of the axis. The graph shows a curve falling off, with one great spike up around 1920.]
:Y-axis label: Per 100,000
:Y-axis:
::800
::600
::400
::200
:X-axis: 1900 1950 2000
:Hairbun (Bio): This is a graph of the death rate from infectious disease in this country.
:Labels: Bio

:[Zoom back to original scene with Hairy holding the microphone down and Hairbun raising her left hand, while Cueball looks at her.]
:Hairbun (Bio): The heroes of my field have '''''slain''''' one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
:Labels: Phys Bio Chem

:[Zoom in on only Cueball and Hairbun who is pointing aggressively at Cueball who leans away from her one hand on his lectern for support.]
:Hairbun (Bio): While the heroes of '''''your''''' field gathered in the desert to create a new one.
:Labels: Phys Bio

:[Zoom back to previous scene all are holding their hands down.]
:Cueball (Phys): ...Jeez, what the hell? I thought this was supposed to be fun and lighthearted!
:Hairbun (Bio): '''''You must have been thinking of stamp collecting.'''''
:Labels: Phys Bio Chem

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Portmanteau]]

105: Parallel Universe

2018-07-03T11:39:44Z

162.158.62.207: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 105
| date = May 22, 2006
| title = Parallel Universe
| image = parallel_universe.jpg
| titletext = It's possible. Better to be on the safe side.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has (by some ritual, judging by the {{w|pentagram}}) summoned himself from a {{w|Multiverse|parallel universe}}. [[Hairy]] suggests that Cueball should take advantage of this rare opportunity and {{w|Making out|make out}} with his other self.

In the third panel, Cueball seems to turn his head in response to the unexpected response. Hairy suggests that Cueball should make out with him instead, since he could also vanish at any moment. This indicates that Hairy may be attracted to Cueball, and he may have made the previous suggestion with the ulterior, voyeuristic motive of observing two attractive people making out with each other.

The title text is ambiguous. It could mean that Cueball should not risk his other self disappearing, or it could mean that the risk is Hairy disappearing.

; Alternative explanation
By a very big stretch of imagination, we can think that the other person is [[Megan]] instead of Hairy (i.e. a female instead of a male).

If the character is Megan, the third panel is her having reconsidered that she would rather Cueball not make out with anyone other than her, by threatening that she would leave him.

The title text does not help in deciding if this alternative is correct or not. If it is Megan, Cueball should stay safe and not make out with himself. If it is not, he should play it safe and make out now, before his alternate self goes back to the parallel universe.

All this ambiguity suggests a third joke. Perhaps there are two universes that this is playing out in: in one of them the character is Megan; in the other it is not.

It could also be that the parallel universe that the comic takes place in is not that of the normal comics, and that the Cueball summoned could be of the standard comics. In this universe, Hairy could be the replacement for Megan.

Making out with yourself is also mentioned in [[267: Choices: Part 4]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Hairy are standing next to a large pentagram with candles at the points. A figure is hovering above it in a wave of energy.]
:Cueball: Sweet. I summoned myself from a parallel universe.
:Hairy: You know, he could vanish at any moment.
:Hairy: You should take this chance to make out with yourself.
:Hairy: . . . You know, '''I''' could vanish at any moment.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Homosexuality]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

566: Matrix Revisited

2018-07-01T12:58:34Z

162.158.62.207: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 566
| date = April 8, 2009
| title = Matrix Revisited
| image = matrix_revisited.png
| titletext = I actually remember being entertained by both the sequels while in the theater. They just don't hold up nearly as well in later comparison.
}}

==Explanation==
In the first frame it is stated that the comic was released on the anniversary of the movie ''{{w|The Matrix}}''. This is not true. The Matrix was released 31 March 1999 in the US, although it was next released in Australia on 8 April 1999, ten years before the release of this comic. But maybe [[Randall]] drew the comic (and had watched the movie) on the true 10 year anniversary day.

[[Megan]] is shocked when she realizes it is already ten years ago that ''The Matrix'' came out. This is an effect Randall has used to [[:Category:Comics_to_make_one_feel_old|make you feel old]] several times (for instance he mentions The Matrix again two years later in [[891: Movie Ages]].)

In ''The Matrix'', almost all of humanity lives in a computer simulation. Many years ago, robots took over the real world (not the simulation), and placed humans into the simulation while their body heat generated power for the robots. A few people have escaped from the Matrix, and they are on a mission with others to free the human race from the robots. The title of the strip is a reference to the documentary on the filming of ''The Matrix'': ''{{w|The Matrix Revisited}}''.

In the first three rows of the comic we see three famous scenes from ''The Matrix'' parodied by Randall. The characters are {{w|Morpheus (The Matrix)|Morpheus}}, with sunglasses; {{w|Neo (The Matrix)|Neo}}, as [[Cueball]] in the first two scenes and with a black cape in the third scene; {{w|Trinity (The Matrix)|Trinity}}, as [[Hairbun]]; and a security guard in the third scene, as another Cueball-like guy.

In the first scene Morpheus tells Neo that one cannot explain what the Matrix is and that he must see it for himself to understand. Morpheus is very mysterious as he tempts Neo to take a look himself, which, in the movie, leads to the next scene. In this comic, however, Trinity makes Morpheus look foolish by clearly explaining the Matrix in a single, simple phrase, and then telling him that he must suck at explaining.

In the next scene Morpheus tries to ignore Trinity's remark and continues by showing Neo two pills, one red and one blue, and tells Neo that he can either take the blue pill and return to the simulation (the Matrix), never to hear about the Matrix again, or he can take the red pill and leave the Matrix, and "see how deep the rabbit hole goes" (a reference to "{{w|Alice in Wonderland}}"). In the movie, Neo takes the red pill. In the comic, however, he mixes the two pills then {{w|Insufflation_(medicine)|snorts}} the purple powder he has created as though it was an illegal drug such as cocaine, and apparently winds up in a bizarre upside down and inverted dimension, presumably caused by his 'Drug Trip'. Even Morpheus now has no idea where they are. Note that the inversion of both color and orientation could be intended to evoke the idea of capturing an image on film (i.e. a film negative), which is *really* the only place where Neo and Morpheus exist. It is possible that the combination of pills allowed Neo to break through another layer of the simulation. Alternatively, this could simply be Randall trying to explain that they are in an alternate dimension whilst still remaining within the constraints of stick figures on white and black backgrounds.

What leads up to the third scene is when Neo and Trinity must save Morpheus, who has been captured by {{w|Agent (The Matrix)|agents}} of the simulation. They obtain many guns and load them into trenchcoats. In the shown scene Neo is stopped at a security checkpoint in a building in the Matrix. A security guard tells him to remove any metallic items, since the scanner has shown him to have metal on his person, such as keys, and place them in a bin, then walk through the scanner again. In the movie, he opens his trenchcoat, revealing a myriad of weapons and dispatching all of the guards with the assistance of Trinity. In the comic, however, Neo opens his trenchcoat, but the guard's response of "eww" implies that Neo is otherwise naked and the guard is disgusted by his display of his genitals (This could seem ironic since the guard could be said to be even more naked than him. But in the xkcd version of the matrix, stick people are presumably fully dressed unless otherwise indicated. See Megan topless in [[864: Flying Cars]], naked Cueball in [[1977: Paperwork]], and Hairy in [[761: DFS]].)

When Randall (as Cueball) has seen the movie he turns to his friends (Megan and another Cueball-like guy) and exclaims that he had forgotten how great the movie is. When his friend suggests that they put on the other two sequels, there is a beat panel where Megan and Cueball look at each other, then they beat up the offender off-panel.

The two sequels to ''The Matrix'' are widely regarded as inferior to the original, with some fans {{tvtropes|FanonDiscontinuity|pretending they don't exist}}. This is what happens when Megan and Cueball return, and Cueball repeats his statement about how good it was. Then Megan is saddened by the fact they never made any sequels and Cueball agrees. Thus trying hard (even violently) to forget those sequels.

On {{w|IMDb}} the original movie was still in the top 20 on their [http://www.imdb.com/chart/top?tt0133093&ref_=tt_awd top 250 chart] in July 2015, with an average of [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/ 8.7] vs. only [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234215 7.2] and [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242653 6.7] to the sequels (though even those two scores are relatively high compared to other action titles).

9 years (and one day) later Randall made the comic [[1978: Congressional Testimony]] where the movie {{w|The Terminator}} is mentioned. In the title text a similar line of thought as the one in the bottom strip of this comic is made. The third movie in the Terminator Franchise was so great that Skynet sent back a robot to prevent James Cameron, the director of the first two Terminator movies, from directing it, and instead another (much worse) version of the movie was later directed by another director. This indicates that Randall would rather not have had the third movie made, and also fantasizes about how much better it could have been with the original director making T3.

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands below two pieces of text, in a panel that is without a frame.]
:Today was the ten-year anniversary of the release of ''The Matrix.''
:I sat down to watch it again.
:Megan: Holy fuck, ten years ago?

:[The next three panels of the first row and the next two rows spoofs three scenes from The Matrix.]

:[In scene 1 Morpheus with sunglasses and Trinity with hair bun are talking to Cueball-Neo. Morpheus has his hands together.]
:Morpheus: Unfortunately, no one can explain what the matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.

:[Trinity lifts her hand.]
:Trinity: Sure you can. It's a computer simulation in which you live, thinking it's reality.
:Neo: Oh.

:[Morpheus takes his hands down and turns around glaring at Trinity who has also taken her hand down.]
:Trinity: ...What?
:Trinity: Look, maybe you just suck at explaining.

:[In scene 2 Morpheus is talking to Neo while holding a red pill and a blue pill. To the far right is a part of a table.]
:Morpheus: ...Or you take the red pill, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

:[Neo takes both pills from Morpheus.]

:[Neo crushes both the red and blue pills on a table top.]
:''Crush''

:[Neo snorts the resulting purple powder through a pipe he holds up to his face (his nose).]
:''Snort''

:[Morpheus and Neo are shown upside down in a frame with inverted colors, i.e., black background with white lines.]
:Morpheus: Now look what you've done.
:Neo: Where are we?
:Morpheus: I have no idea.

:[In scene 3 Neo, wearing a long, black trench coat, at a metal detector, is accosted by the Cueball-like security guard.]
:Guard: Please remove any keys, metallic items, weapons—

:[Neo steps close to the guard and opens his trench coat towards the guard, who is facing the reader. The reader can't see what Neo has under his coat.]

:[Same scene as above, but side view: Neo, on the left, is opening his coat toward the guard, who is on the right and seems to be looking down. Nobody speaks.]

:[Same scene as above but the guard now looks up to Neos face and finally speaks:]
:Guard: Eww.

:[In the last row of the comic we see three characters that have obviously just finished watching The Matrix. Cueball is sitting on the floor nearest to the TV, Megan is sitting on the floor, farther from the TV and a Cueball-like friend is sitting on an armchair, farthest from the TV.]
:Cueball: I forgot how good that movie was.
:Friend: Wanna put on the other two?

:[Cueball, still sitting has turned to face Megan. They exchange looks without speaking.]

:[View of room, which is now empty, as is the chair. Sounds comes from off-screen to the right.]
:''Crash''
:''Wham''
:Friend (off-screen): Ow! Ow!

:[Cueball and Megan are back in the room, zoomed in so the TV is no longer visible, but the chair is and it remains empty. The friend is nowhere to be seen.]
:Cueball: I forgot how good that movie was.
:Megan: Too bad they never made any sequels.
:Cueball: True.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:The Matrix]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]

566: Matrix Revisited

2018-07-01T12:54:07Z

162.158.62.207: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 566
| date = April 8, 2009
| title = Matrix Revisited
| image = matrix_revisited.png
| titletext = I actually remember being entertained by both the sequels while in the theater. They just don't hold up nearly as well in later comparison.
}}

==Explanation==
In the first frame it is stated that the comic was released on the anniversary of the movie ''{{w|The Matrix}}''. This is not true. The Matrix was released 31 March 1999 in the US, although it was next released in Australia on 8 April 1999, ten years before the release of this comic. But maybe [[Randall]] drew the comic (and had watched the movie) on the true 10 year anniversary day.

[[Megan]] is shocked when she realizes it is already ten years ago that ''The Matrix'' came out. This is an effect Randall has used to [[:Category:Comics_to_make_one_feel_old|make you feel old]] several times (for instance he mentions The Matrix again two years later in [[891: Movie Ages]].)

In ''The Matrix'', almost all of humanity lives in a computer simulation. Many years ago, robots took over the real world (not the simulation), and placed humans into the simulation while their body heat generated power for the robots. A few people have escaped from the Matrix, and they are on a mission with others to free the human race from the robots. The title of the strip is a reference to the documentary on the filming of ''The Matrix'': ''{{w|The Matrix Revisited}}''.

In the first three rows of the comic we see three famous scenes from ''The Matrix'' parodied by Randall. The characters are {{w|Morpheus (The Matrix)|Morpheus}}, with sunglasses; {{w|Neo (The Matrix)|Neo}}, as [[Cueball]] in the first two scenes and with a black cape in the third scene; {{w|Trinity (The Matrix)|Trinity}}, as [[Hairbun]]; and a security guard in the third scene, as another Cueball-like guy.

In the first scene Morpheus tells Neo that one cannot explain what the Matrix is and that he must see it for himself to understand. Morpheus is very mysterious as he tempts Neo to take a look himself, which, in the movie, leads to the next scene. In this comic, however, Trinity makes Morpheus look foolish by clearly explaining the Matrix in a single, simple phrase, and then telling him that he must suck at explaining.

In the next scene Morpheus tries to ignore Trinity's remark and continues by showing Neo two pills, one red and one blue, and tells Neo that he can either take the blue pill and return to the simulation (the Matrix), never to hear about the Matrix again, or he can take the red pill and leave the Matrix, and "see how deep the rabbit hole goes" (a reference to "{{w|Alice in Wonderland}}"). In the movie, Neo takes the red pill. In the comic, however, he mixes the two pills then {{w|Insufflation_(medicine)|snorts}} the purple powder he has created as though it was an illegal drug such as cocaine, and apparently winds up in a bizarre upside down and inverted dimension, presumably caused by his 'Drug Trip'. Even Morpheus now has no idea where they are. Note that the inversion of both color and orientation could be intended to evoke the idea of capturing an image on film (i.e. a film negative), which is *really* the only place where Neo and Morpheus exist. It is possible that the combination of pills allowed Neo to break through another layer of the simulation. Alternatively, this could simply be Randall trying to explain that they are in an alternate dimension whilst still remaining within the constraints of stick figures on white and black backgrounds.

What leads up to the third scene is when Neo and Trinity must save Morpheus, who has been captured by {{w|Agent (The Matrix)|agents}} of the simulation. They obtain many guns and load them into trenchcoats. In the shown scene Neo is stopped at a security checkpoint in a building in the Matrix. A security guard tells him to remove any metallic items, since the scanner has shown him to have metal on his person, such as keys, and place them in a bin, then walk through the scanner again. In the movie, he opens his trenchcoat, revealing a myriad of weapons and dispatching all of the guards with the assistance of Trinity. In the comic, however, Neo opens his trenchcoat, but the guard's response of "eww" implies that Neo is otherwise naked and the guard is disgusted by his display of his genitals (This could seem ironic since the guard could be said to be even more naked than him. But in the xkcd version of the matrix, stick people are presumably fully dressed unless otherwise indicated. See Megan topless in [[864: Flying Cars]] and naked Cueball in [[1977: Paperwork]].)

When Randall (as Cueball) has seen the movie he turns to his friends (Megan and another Cueball-like guy) and exclaims that he had forgotten how great the movie is. When his friend suggests that they put on the other two sequels, there is a beat panel where Megan and Cueball look at each other, then they beat up the offender off-panel.

The two sequels to ''The Matrix'' are widely regarded as inferior to the original, with some fans {{tvtropes|FanonDiscontinuity|pretending they don't exist}}. This is what happens when Megan and Cueball return, and Cueball repeats his statement about how good it was. Then Megan is saddened by the fact they never made any sequels and Cueball agrees. Thus trying hard (even violently) to forget those sequels.

On {{w|IMDb}} the original movie was still in the top 20 on their [http://www.imdb.com/chart/top?tt0133093&ref_=tt_awd top 250 chart] in July 2015, with an average of [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/ 8.7] vs. only [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234215 7.2] and [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242653 6.7] to the sequels (though even those two scores are relatively high compared to other action titles).

9 years (and one day) later Randall made the comic [[1978: Congressional Testimony]] where the movie {{w|The Terminator}} is mentioned. In the title text a similar line of thought as the one in the bottom strip of this comic is made. The third movie in the Terminator Franchise was so great that Skynet sent back a robot to prevent James Cameron, the director of the first two Terminator movies, from directing it, and instead another (much worse) version of the movie was later directed by another director. This indicates that Randall would rather not have had the third movie made, and also fantasizes about how much better it could have been with the original director making T3.

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands below two pieces of text, in a panel that is without a frame.]
:Today was the ten-year anniversary of the release of ''The Matrix.''
:I sat down to watch it again.
:Megan: Holy fuck, ten years ago?

:[The next three panels of the first row and the next two rows spoofs three scenes from The Matrix.]

:[In scene 1 Morpheus with sunglasses and Trinity with hair bun are talking to Cueball-Neo. Morpheus has his hands together.]
:Morpheus: Unfortunately, no one can explain what the matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.

:[Trinity lifts her hand.]
:Trinity: Sure you can. It's a computer simulation in which you live, thinking it's reality.
:Neo: Oh.

:[Morpheus takes his hands down and turns around glaring at Trinity who has also taken her hand down.]
:Trinity: ...What?
:Trinity: Look, maybe you just suck at explaining.

:[In scene 2 Morpheus is talking to Neo while holding a red pill and a blue pill. To the far right is a part of a table.]
:Morpheus: ...Or you take the red pill, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

:[Neo takes both pills from Morpheus.]

:[Neo crushes both the red and blue pills on a table top.]
:''Crush''

:[Neo snorts the resulting purple powder through a pipe he holds up to his face (his nose).]
:''Snort''

:[Morpheus and Neo are shown upside down in a frame with inverted colors, i.e., black background with white lines.]
:Morpheus: Now look what you've done.
:Neo: Where are we?
:Morpheus: I have no idea.

:[In scene 3 Neo, wearing a long, black trench coat, at a metal detector, is accosted by the Cueball-like security guard.]
:Guard: Please remove any keys, metallic items, weapons—

:[Neo steps close to the guard and opens his trench coat towards the guard, who is facing the reader. The reader can't see what Neo has under his coat.]

:[Same scene as above, but side view: Neo, on the left, is opening his coat toward the guard, who is on the right and seems to be looking down. Nobody speaks.]

:[Same scene as above but the guard now looks up to Neos face and finally speaks:]
:Guard: Eww.

:[In the last row of the comic we see three characters that have obviously just finished watching The Matrix. Cueball is sitting on the floor nearest to the TV, Megan is sitting on the floor, farther from the TV and a Cueball-like friend is sitting on an armchair, farthest from the TV.]
:Cueball: I forgot how good that movie was.
:Friend: Wanna put on the other two?

:[Cueball, still sitting has turned to face Megan. They exchange looks without speaking.]

:[View of room, which is now empty, as is the chair. Sounds comes from off-screen to the right.]
:''Crash''
:''Wham''
:Friend (off-screen): Ow! Ow!

:[Cueball and Megan are back in the room, zoomed in so the TV is no longer visible, but the chair is and it remains empty. The friend is nowhere to be seen.]
:Cueball: I forgot how good that movie was.
:Megan: Too bad they never made any sequels.
:Cueball: True.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:The Matrix]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]

Talk:2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-07T14:54:38Z

162.158.62.207:

Aw, but what about Morgan Freeman? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.11|108.162.221.11]] 04:43, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:And Kiefer -designated survivor- Sutherland?[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.83|141.101.104.83]] 08:24, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Morgan Freeman> "I do solemnly swear / that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States..." [[User:Linker|Linker]] ([[User talk:Linker|talk]]) 12:39, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Academy awards have been won by actors playing kings / queens - of England, the United Kingdom and Siam - Princes - of Denmark - and Prime Ministers of Great Britain and even the President of the Uniter States / Member of the house of Representatives, but I do not believe it has been won by an actor playing a state govenor. Mind you it is not clear if an actor playing a prison govenor, would count. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 11:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
: Broderick Crawford, actually. I've added him. To the best of my ability to determine, the opposite group (Governors Award recipients who have played characters named Oscar) appears to be an empty set. I'll note that I don't have a really comprehensive filmography for {{w|Jean-Claude Carrière}}, but I consider it fairly unlikely that he ever played a character by that name. [[User:Squeamish Ossifrage|Squeamish Ossifrage]] ([[User talk:Squeamish Ossifrage|talk]]) 16:08, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Bill Pullman's eldest daughter Maesa is a film composer with an IMDB page in her own right. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 11:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Top 5 US astronauts? I only count three. Who are the other two? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.150.76|172.68.150.76]] 12:15, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

As of September 3, 2017, the 5 US astronauts with the most total time in space are Peggy Whitson (665 days), Jeff Williams (534), Scott Kelly (520), Mike Fincke (382), and Mike Foale (374), according to https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders. Michael Lopez-Alegria has the second-most time in space for a single spaceflight (215 days, compared to Scott Kelly, 340). [[User:The Dining Logician|The Dining Logician]] ([[User talk:The Dining Logician|talk]]) 12:59, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Mike Foale was born in Louth - so ineligible. Michael Lopez-Alegria was born in Spain ditto [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 15:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Foale was born to an American mother and should hence be a natural-born American. --[[User:Ycthiognass|Ycthiognass]] ([[User talk:Ycthiognass|talk]]) 09:40, 7 June 2018 (UTC)
::There is actually legal question about whether someone born on foreign soil to US citizens count as "natural-born" (or whether courts would just say it's a political question and pass the buck to Congress), though I will add Foale back to the list. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 14:04, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

The non-US-citizen-being-in-line-for-the-Presidency thing has already been cleared up IRL - several Presidential cabinets have had non-natural-born-US citizens on them (current Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao was born in Taiwan; in the past Madeline Albright was born in the then-Czechoslovakia). All the serious succession lists I've ever seen just list them and skip over them. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 13:19, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

How do we decide who gets a bye in the jousting tournament? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.147|162.158.74.147]] 13:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Random draw, probably. There's no jousting rankings AFAIK to enable any kind of seeding like in tennis. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 15:16, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Anyone with a jousting ranking would not need a bye. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 15:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Anyone else think it's interesting that Kate gets a "if available" but Tom Hanks doesn't? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.184|172.69.62.184]] 16:23, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
: Also, why doesn't Tom Hanks kids get to be in line, like Bill Pulman's? Colin Hanks is old enough. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.210|162.158.122.210]] 03:59, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I assume, but am too lazy to do all the maths, that the person born closest to Europa would be the one closest in time to the point Sun Earth and Jupiter are in line.
I found a table of opposition distances here: http://www.ianridpath.com/jupiter.htm
[[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 18:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

All of this talk about ''where'' people were born is very misleading. The general opinion is that you have to have been a citizen from birth, not born in the U.S. (or a U.S. territory or whatever). Ted Cruz was born in Canada, but he would have been eligible had he won the nomination and the election. See http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2015/mar/26/ted-cruz-born-canada-eligible-run-president-update/ for discussion. —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 20:56, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
*Yes, Kate Brown (governor of Oregon) should be restored to Randall's line of succession, because she was born in Spain while her father was serving in the U.S. Air Force. Presumably she's a U.S. citizen by birth and thus eligible for the presidency. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.150.52|172.68.150.52]] 22:44, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
** Added her. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_foreign-born_United_States_politicians#Governors This page says she's a natural-born citizen]. --[[User:Ycthiognass|Ycthiognass]] ([[User talk:Ycthiognass|talk]]) 08:49, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I read #7 being that we would have 5 people as co-president. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.210|162.158.122.210]] 03:59, 7 June 2018 (UTC)
:Would that also hold for other entries where multiple people are listed (e.g., multiple league MVPs meet the criteria)? Also, there is the "ties broken by born closest to Europa" title text. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 13:31, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

For the 'List of Specific Individuals', should it be maintained by who currently holds those positions, or left as who held them when the comic was posted? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.70.71|172.69.70.71]] 12:14, 7 June 2018 (UTC)
:If you want to come back and update the line as things change in the weeks, months, and years ahead, you're welcome to do so. If you do, I would recommend that both lists (the one accurate as of comic publishing and the one "updated") be maintained, perhaps as one table for fun comparison (adding blank spots as necessary if a current spot falls out of eligibility or a new one becomes eligible for whatever reason. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 13:29, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

Tom Hanks is probably a reference to the June 4 Last Week Tonight episode, see http://time.com/5298479/john-oliver-last-week-tonight-guardianship/

Oh! Question regarding Serena Williams - does it count if her latest match was in a ''doubles'' tournament? She pretty much always teams up with sister Venus in doubles. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 14:52, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

Talk:2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-07T14:52:52Z

162.158.62.207:

Aw, but what about Morgan Freeman? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.11|108.162.221.11]] 04:43, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:And Kiefer -designated survivor- Sutherland?[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.83|141.101.104.83]] 08:24, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Morgan Freeman> "I do solemnly swear / that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States..." [[User:Linker|Linker]] ([[User talk:Linker|talk]]) 12:39, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Academy awards have been won by actors playing kings / queens - of England, the United Kingdom and Siam - Princes - of Denmark - and Prime Ministers of Great Britain and even the President of the Uniter States / Member of the house of Representatives, but I do not believe it has been won by an actor playing a state govenor. Mind you it is not clear if an actor playing a prison govenor, would count. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 11:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
: Broderick Crawford, actually. I've added him. To the best of my ability to determine, the opposite group (Governors Award recipients who have played characters named Oscar) appears to be an empty set. I'll note that I don't have a really comprehensive filmography for {{w|Jean-Claude Carrière}}, but I consider it fairly unlikely that he ever played a character by that name. [[User:Squeamish Ossifrage|Squeamish Ossifrage]] ([[User talk:Squeamish Ossifrage|talk]]) 16:08, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Bill Pullman's eldest daughter Maesa is a film composer with an IMDB page in her own right. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 11:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Top 5 US astronauts? I only count three. Who are the other two? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.150.76|172.68.150.76]] 12:15, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

As of September 3, 2017, the 5 US astronauts with the most total time in space are Peggy Whitson (665 days), Jeff Williams (534), Scott Kelly (520), Mike Fincke (382), and Mike Foale (374), according to https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders. Michael Lopez-Alegria has the second-most time in space for a single spaceflight (215 days, compared to Scott Kelly, 340). [[User:The Dining Logician|The Dining Logician]] ([[User talk:The Dining Logician|talk]]) 12:59, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Mike Foale was born in Louth - so ineligible. Michael Lopez-Alegria was born in Spain ditto [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 15:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Foale was born to an American mother and should hence be a natural-born American. --[[User:Ycthiognass|Ycthiognass]] ([[User talk:Ycthiognass|talk]]) 09:40, 7 June 2018 (UTC)
::There is actually legal question about whether someone born on foreign soil to US citizens count as "natural-born" (or whether courts would just say it's a political question and pass the buck to Congress), though I will add Foale back to the list. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 14:04, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

The non-US-citizen-being-in-line-for-the-Presidency thing has already been cleared up IRL - several Presidential cabinets have had non-natural-born-US citizens on them (current Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao was born in Taiwan; in the past Madeline Albright was born in the then-Czechoslovakia). All the serious succession lists I've ever seen just list them and skip over them. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 13:19, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

How do we decide who gets a bye in the jousting tournament? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.147|162.158.74.147]] 13:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Random draw, probably. There's no jousting rankings AFAIK to enable any kind of seeding like in tennis. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 15:16, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Anyone with a jousting ranking would not need a bye. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 15:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Anyone else think it's interesting that Kate gets a "if available" but Tom Hanks doesn't? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.184|172.69.62.184]] 16:23, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
: Also, why doesn't Tom Hanks kids get to be in line, like Bill Pulman's? Colin Hanks is old enough. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.210|162.158.122.210]] 03:59, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I assume, but am too lazy to do all the maths, that the person born closest to Europa would be the one closest in time to the point Sun Earth and Jupiter are in line.
I found a table of opposition distances here: http://www.ianridpath.com/jupiter.htm
[[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 18:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

All of this talk about ''where'' people were born is very misleading. The general opinion is that you have to have been a citizen from birth, not born in the U.S. (or a U.S. territory or whatever). Ted Cruz was born in Canada, but he would have been eligible had he won the nomination and the election. See http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2015/mar/26/ted-cruz-born-canada-eligible-run-president-update/ for discussion. —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 20:56, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
*Yes, Kate Brown (governor of Oregon) should be restored to Randall's line of succession, because she was born in Spain while her father was serving in the U.S. Air Force. Presumably she's a U.S. citizen by birth and thus eligible for the presidency. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.150.52|172.68.150.52]] 22:44, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
** Added her. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_foreign-born_United_States_politicians#Governors This page says she's a natural-born citizen]. --[[User:Ycthiognass|Ycthiognass]] ([[User talk:Ycthiognass|talk]]) 08:49, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I read #7 being that we would have 5 people as co-president. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.210|162.158.122.210]] 03:59, 7 June 2018 (UTC)
:Would that also hold for other entries where multiple people are listed (e.g., multiple league MVPs meet the criteria)? Also, there is the "ties broken by born closest to Europa" title text. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 13:31, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

For the 'List of Specific Individuals', should it be maintained by who currently holds those positions, or left as who held them when the comic was posted? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.70.71|172.69.70.71]] 12:14, 7 June 2018 (UTC)
:If you want to come back and update the line as things change in the weeks, months, and years ahead, you're welcome to do so. If you do, I would recommend that both lists (the one accurate as of comic publishing and the one "updated") be maintained, perhaps as one table for fun comparison (adding blank spots as necessary if a current spot falls out of eligibility or a new one becomes eligible for whatever reason. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 13:29, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

Tom Hanks is probably a reference to the June 4 Last Week Tonight episode, see http://time.com/5298479/john-oliver-last-week-tonight-guardianship/

Oh! Question regarding Serena Williams - does it count if her latest match was a loss in a ''doubles'' tournament? She pretty much always teams up with sister Venus in doubles. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 14:52, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-07T14:47:37Z

162.158.62.207: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2003
| date = June 6, 2018
| title = Presidential Succession
| image = presidential_succession.png
| titletext = Ties are broken by whoever was closest to the surface of Europa when they were born.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DESIGNATED SURVIVOR - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|United States presidential line of succession}} is the order of people who serve as president if the current incumbent president is incapacitated, dies, resigns, or is removed from office.

The {{w|Presidential_Succession_Act#Presidential_Succession_Act_of_1947|Presidential Succession Act of 1947}} was an act by the U.S. Congress that revised the presidential order of succession to its current order. This Act, though never challenged in the courts, may not be constitutional for two reasons. First, it is unclear whether members of Congress can be designated in the line of succession. Secondly, the Act allows for a cabinet officer to be "replaced" as acting President by a new Speaker of the House or a new President Pro Tempore of the Senate.

An additional concern regarding the Act is that after the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, the line of succession list the members of the Cabinet in the order that their department was established with the oldest departments first, irrespective of the Secretary's personal fitness or appropriateness of the office. The Department of Homeland Security is in charge of the security and protection of the United States and its citizens and would probably already be privy to sensitive intelligence and briefings related to national security, but because it is the latest of the Departments to have been established (in 2003), the Secretary of Homeland Security is all the way at the bottom of the current Presidential line of succession at 18th, behind other Secretaries such as that of Agriculture (9th) and Education (16th).

The full text of the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission can be found here: <https://www.brookings.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/06_continuity_of_government.pdf>. A short, readable summary, including the report's recommended new line of succession, is here: <https://www.brookings.edu/research/the-continuity-of-the-presidency-the-second-report-of-the-continuity-of-government-commission/>. The first 6 members of the commission's list are included in the current line of succession, after which they specificy that 5 new people should be appointed specifically for the purpose of succeeding the presidency if needed. Randall's list begins with these 11 people (stuffing all 5 of the new appointees into #7); afterwards, his list continues with more politicians, actors who have played Presidents, athletes, and others.

Randall's list omits the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, as well as many other cabinet positions. He is probably simply following the commission's report in this. But perhaps he does not find those people qualified to become President of the United States, or is concerned about the constitutionality of lawmakers becoming President. However, he does not seem to be concerned about constitutionality, because he included the entire line of succession to the British throne, most of whom do not meet the requirement to be a natural-born citizen of the United States.{{Citation needed}} {{w|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Article_Two_of_the_United_States_Constitution#Clause_5:_Qualifications_for_office|Article Two of the US Constitution}} establishes that the President must be a "natural-born" US citizen at least 35 years of age and had lived in the US for the last 14 years.

Randall's list includes several other people who also might not be eligible to become President either because they are not natural-born U.S. citizens (e.g., as of the time of the comic's publication, {{w|Serena Williams}} had withdrawn from her last match in the {{w|French Open}} to {{w|Maria Sharapova}}, who is Russian) or they are under 35 years of age ({{w|Russell Westbrook}}, the reigning NBA Most Valuable Player at the time of the comic's publication, was only 29 years old). These would mainly be athletes due to the relatively global reach of the four major professional sports leagues in North America and the fact that 35 is quite old for a professional athlete, let alone one who is good enough to win the league MVP. Presumably, those who wouldn't qualify for the office of President would be skipped over like in real life -- at the comic's publication, {{w|Elaine Chao}} was the Secretary of Transportation and would normally be 14th in line, but because she is a naturalized citizen of the US (she was born in Taiwan) she would not qualify for the office if the line came to her.

This is another comic in the continuing line of comics about American politics, especially after the election of Donald Trump as President in 2016.

==Order of succession==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!#
!Randall's order
!Current order by the 1947 Act
!Notes
|-
|1
|President
|President
|Not generally considered part of the line of succession, as incumbents cannot "succeed" to their own post. (This should really be item 0 on the list.)
|-
|2
|Vice president
|Vice president
|No change
|-
|3
|Secretary of State
|Speaker of the House of Representatives
|Moved up from 5th position. This is likely a serious suggestion. Existing rules of succession hand Executive power to the leaders of the Legislative branch if the President and Vice-President are both killed or removed from power. This is troubling for a number of reasons. One is that the Executive and Legislative branches are supposed to act as independent checks on one another's power, and so are supposed to be kept separate. Another issue is that the Executive and Legislative branches are frequently controlled by political rivals from different political parties. In such a case, assassins could effectively reverse the results of Presidential elections if they managed to kill the President and Vice-President in a short period of time (which is used as part of the twist ending in {{w|White House Down}}). Additionally, leaders of the House and Senate aren't as deeply connected to the military and diplomatic missions of the country, and so would have a hard time maintaining continuity, particularly if an attack or disaster killed multiple national leaders at once. These problems could all be addressed by keeping the initial Line of Succession confined to the Executive branch of government.
|-
|4
|Secretary of Defense
|President pro tempore of the Senate
|Moved up from 7th position
|-
|5
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|Secretary of State
|Moved up from 19th position, possibly to highlight the Attorney General's place in the current order
|-
|6
|Attorney General
|Secretary of the Treasury
|Moved up from 8th position
|-
|7
|Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the President's term and confirmed by the Senate
|Secretary of Defense
|{{w|Washington, D.C.}} is the capital of the United States, and is where the {{w|White House}}, the President's residence, is located. Presumably this provision covers the case where much of the government, including positions 1–6 here, are killed by a natural disaster or attack in Washington, D.C.

This suggestion establishes no qualifications for these people, but the fact that they'd need to be confirmed by the Senate suggests that they would be chosen to be competent for the role. It is also unclear if an order is determined among these five or if they take up a joint presidency. This suggestion is taken from the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission as a potential mechanism to ensure members of succession are not in Washington DC during a catastrophic attack.
|-
|8
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Attorney General
|Academy Award-winning American actor. This is the first unambiguously unserious suggestion.{{Citation needed}} Tom Hanks is very popular and considered exceptionally likeable by many Americans, but has never served in public office or displayed any particular affinity for politics. The implication is that Mr. Hanks would be easily accepted as a leader, based solely on his personal charm.
|-
|9
|State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
|Secretary of the Interior
|Also taken from Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission. At the time of publication, the last {{w|United States Census}} was the 2010 Census. As California is the most populous state, Gov {{w|Jerry Brown}} would be first in line.

See also the {{w|2010_United_States_Census#State_rankings|state population rankings}} and the {{w|list of current United States governors}}. As worded, this criterion would exclude territorial governors (and the Mayor of Washington, D.C.).
|-
|10
|Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
|Secretary of Agriculture
|Oscars, or {{w|Academy Awards}}, are annual film awards awarded by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. At the time of publication, the only Oscar awarded for playing a governor was {{w|Broderick Crawford}}'s 1949 Best Actor award for the fictional Willie Stark in ''{{w|All the King's Men (1949 film)|All the King's Men}}'' (a character based on {{w|Huey Long}}). However, Crawford died in 1986, so would be unable to serve as President.

May be a reference to the {{w|Political career of Arnold Schwarzenegger}}: a highly-lauded actor who became governor of California, but did not win an Oscar or play a governor before being elected. (As a naturalized citizen, he is also ineligible for the Presidency.)
|-
|11
|Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
|Secretary of Commerce
|The {{w|Governors Awards}} are an annual award ceremony hosted by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to present lifetime achievement awards within the film industry. As this award is a lifetime achievement award, it does not seem possible that an actor could win this award for simply playing someone named Oscar. Notwithstanding the nature of the award, at the time of publication, no recipient of a Governors Award has played a character named Oscar.

Obviously, the joke is that changing the order of the words from the previous proposal produces something that could actually exist.
|-
|12
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}, if available
|Secretary of Labor
|Comedic actress famous for being a cast member on {{w|Saturday Night Live}}. She is known for her character work and celebrity impressions. She has recently done impersonations of members of the Trump administration including Spokeswoman {{w|Kellyanne Conway}} and Attorney General {{w|Jeff Sessions}}. She also played {{w|Hillary Clinton}} during the 2016 campaign and presumably would have played her when she was President had she won; but since Clinton lost, McKinnon has not actually played a President.
|-
|13
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
|Secretary of Health and Human Services
|The {{w|Billboard Hot 100}} is the music industry standard record chart in the United States for singles, published weekly by Billboard magazine. The weekly data is aggregated into a cumulative {{w|Billboard Year-End}} (based on a "year" that ends the third week of November, in order to meet December publication deadlines). At the time of publication, the most recent such list was the {{w|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017}}.

Based on that list, the artists considered for the presidential succession would be: {{w|Ed Sheeran}}, {{w|Luis Fonsi}}, {{w|Bruno Mars}}, {{w|Kendrick Lamar}}, Alex Pall (of {{w|The Chainsmokers}}), {{w|Quavo|Quavoius Keyate Marshall}} (of {{w|Migos}}), {{w|Sam Hunt}}, {{w|Dan Reynolds}} (of {{w|Imagine Dragons}}), and {{w|Post Malone}}. There are only nine names instead of ten because The Chainsmokers had two of the top 10 singles in 2017. Of these, only Luis Fonsi (40 years old, born in Puerto Rico) is legally eligible for the office; Sheeran is from the UK, and the other seven are too young.
|-
|14
|The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
|Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
|Astronauts are highly respected and rigorously selected, but most have little involvement in politics. According to [https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders NASA], the top 5 US astronauts by cumulative space time are: {{w|Peggy Whitson}}, {{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}, {{W|Scott Kelly (astronaut)|Scott Kelly}}, {{w|Mike Fincke}}, and {{w|Mike Foale}}. However, it isn't clear whether Foale would qualify as a natural-born citizen as he was born in the UK and his father is British but his mother is American.
|-
|15
|{{w|Serena Williams}} (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
|Secretary of Transportation
|As of the time of publication, Serena Williams was the top female tennis player (though not the world #1 ranking, because she took time off for pregnancy). She is arguably the greatest female tennis player of all-time, winning 39 {{w|Grand Slam (tennis)|Grand Slam}} titles, including 23 women's singles titles. At the time of publication Serena Williams did win her most recent match (2018 French Open, third round, on June 2nd), although she withdrew from her next match against Maria Sharapova (which perhaps should count as a loss, especially if she withdrew in order to preserve her place in the line of succession and led the terrorist attack that killed everybody in place ahead of her).

If her most recent defeat was to a non-US player, presumably she would be skipped over in line although this is not explicitly stated (the current succession list skips over anyone who would not normally qualify for not being a natural-born US citizen).
|-
|16
|The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
|Secretary of Energy
|MVP stands for {{w|Most Valuable Player}}. The 4 listed leagues are the major sports leagues in the United States, the {{w|National Basketball Association}} (NBA), the {{w|National Football League}} (NFL), {{w|Major League Baseball}} (MLB), and the {{w|National Hockey League}} (NHL). We're assuming that Randall meant the regular season MVPs of each league, as each league also awards MVPs for their respective championships (or in the case of the NHL's {{w|Conn Smythe Trophy}}, their entire playoffs).

As of the time of publication, the most recent MVPs for the listed sports were {{w|Russell Westbrook}} (NBA), {{w|Tom Brady}} (NFL), {{w|José Altuve}} and {{w|Giancarlo Stanton}} (MLB has two, one for the American League and one for the National League), and {{w|Connor McDavid}} (NHL). Of these, only Brady would qualify for the list - Altuve and McDavid are not US citizens (the former is from Venezuela and the latter from Canada), and Westbrook (29) and Stanton (28) are too young.
|-
|17
|{{w|Bill Pullman}} and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
|Secretary of Education
|American actor, known for playing President Thomas J. Whitmore in the 1996 film ''{{w|Independence Day (1996 film)|Independence Day}}''.

Absolute primogeniture is a form of succession where the oldest direct descendant regardless of gender receives the title. This is contrasted to {{w|Male-preference primogeniture}}, in which males come before females in the order of the throne, whether the males were born first or not. This may be a reference to the British law {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013}}, which changed the order of the throne from male-preference primogeniture to absolute primogeniture. This act allows {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} to retain her place in line before {{w|Prince Louis of Cambridge|Prince Louis}}.

As of the present, Pullman's immediate descendants consist of three children, with Maesa Pullman being the oldest at age 29, so all are currently too young for the presidency.
|-
|18
|The entire line of succession to the British throne
|Secretary of Veterans Affairs
|According to the Constitution, only a natural-born citizen of the United States can become President, which means that at least most of the line of succession to the British throne is ineligible. However, it is possible that someone in the line of succession to the British throne either is a dual citizen (especially one who is a U.S. citizen based on place of birth and a British citizen based on having a parent who was a British citizen descended from {{w|Sophia of Hanover}}) or is not British (a person from outside of Britain can become King; for example, some, including George I, were from what is now Germany).

The first 57 names on the list are {{w|Succession_to_the_British_throne#Current_line_of_succession|here}}, as of the time of publication. [https://lineofsuccession.co.uk/?date=2018-06-06 British Line of Succession on 6 June 2018] shows the list as it was at the comic's publication. American citizens [http://articles.latimes.com/1988-02-11/news/vw-42233_1_royal-house have, at times] been on the list, but no natural-born Americans are currently in the top 100. In theory, however, the full British succession list includes several thousand people (living descendants of {{w|Sophia of Hanover}} who are not Roman Catholic or otherwise disqualified), and it is possible that one or more such people would also be eligible to be President of the United States.

The humor here derives from the fact that the United States was established by declaring independence from the United Kingdom, with rejection of the British monarchy being a basic founding principle, and a core principle of US governance. To appoint the British monarchy to the American presidency would contradict the basic goals of American independence. Alternatively, it may reference the recent wedding of {{w|Prince Harry}} to {{w|Meghan Markle}}, although she is not in the order of succession to the British throne (and she is planning to give up her U.S. citizenship in favour of British citizenship, so her children (who would come immediately after Harry in the British line of succession) would not be born U.S. citizens either). A similar sequence of events was the plotline of the comedy film ''{{w|King Ralph}}'', which saw an American become the British monarch after the death of the royal family.
|-
|19
|The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|The {{w|Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest}} is an annual American hot dog competitive eating competition sponsored by {{w|Nathan's Famous}} held on July 4th. As of the time of publication, the most recent men's winner is {{w|Joey Chestnut}} and the women's winner is {{w|Miki Sudo}}. Neither is currently old enough to assume the office.
|-
|20
|All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament
|''None''
|Effective for a population up to 536,870,912 individuals (2^29) which would be enough to cover the entire US population (estimated at around 325 million at time of publication), although additional rounds can be added should the population grow further.

This is probably a reference to the {{w|Matter of Britain}} (e.g., {{w|The Sword in the Stone (film)|The Sword in the Stone}}), where, after the death of Uther Pendragon, with no known successor to the throne of England for years, it is decided that the winner of a jousting tournament shall be crowned. However, Arthur, the Wart, pulls the Sword from the Stone.
|}

The title text mentions whoever was closest to the surface of {{w|Europa}} when they were born. Europa is a moon of Jupiter, so most people would be very far from its surface when they were born. However, depending on the relative positions of Earth and Jupiter when you were born, you could easily have been tens of millions of kilometers closer. Alternatively, Randall could be playing on how Europa sounds like Europe.

===List of specific individuals===
Based on the comic's defined criteria for the order of succession, these are the specific individuals in that order, as of the date the comic was published:
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!Order
!Name
!Reason
!Notes
|-
|1
|{{w|Donald Trump}}
|{{w|President of the United States}}
|
|-
|2
|{{w|Mike Pence}}
|{{w|Vice President of the United States}}
|
|-
|3
|{{w|Mike Pompeo}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of State}}
|
|-
|4
|{{w|Jim Mattis}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Defense}}
|
|-
|5
|{{w|Kirstjen Nielsen}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Homeland Security}}
|
|-
|6
|{{w|Jeff Sessions}}
|{{w|United States Attorney General}}
|
|-
|7
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Tom Hanks
|As Donald Trump did not appoint anyone to fill position #7 on Randall's line of succession, Hanks immediately follows after Sessions.
|-
|8
|{{w|Jerry Brown}}
|Governor of California
|
|-
|9
|{{w|Greg Abbott}}
|Governor of Texas
|
|-
|10
|{{w|Andrew Cuomo}}
|Governor of New York
|
|-
|11
|{{w|Rick Scott}}
|Governor of Florida
|
|-
|12
|{{w|Bruce Rauner}}
|Governor of Illinois
|
|-
|13
|{{w|Tom Wolf}}
|Governor of Pennsylvania
|
|-
|14
|{{w|John Kasich}}
|Governor of Ohio
|
|-
|15
|{{w|Rick Snyder}}
|Governor of Michigan
|
|-
|16
|{{w|Nathan Deal}}
|Governor of Georgia
|
|-
|17
|{{w|Roy Cooper}}
|Governor of North Carolina
|
|-
|18
|{{w|Phil Murphy}}
|Governor of New Jersey
|
|-
|19
|{{w|Ralph Northam}}
|Governor of Virginia
|
|-
|20
|{{w|Jay Inslee}}
|Governor of Washington
|
|-
|21
|{{w|Charlie Baker}}
|Governor of Massachusetts
|
|-
|22
|{{w|Eric Holcomb}}
|Governor of Indiana
|
|-
|23
|{{w|Doug Ducey}}
|Governor of Arizona
|
|-
|24
|{{w|Bill Haslam}}
|Governor of Tennessee
|
|-
|25
|{{w|Mike Parson}}
|Governor of Missouri
|
|-
|26
|{{w|Larry Hogan}}
|Governor of Maryland
|
|-
|27
|{{w|Scott Walker (politician)|Scott Walker}}
|Governor of Wisconsin
|
|-
|28
|{{w|Mark Dayton}}
|Governor of Minnesota
|
|-
|29
|{{w|John Hickenlooper}}
|Governor of Colorado
|
|-
|30
|{{w|Kay Ivey}}
|Governor of Alabama
|
|-
|31
|{{w|Henry McMaster}}
|Governor of South Carolina
|
|-
|32
|{{w|John Bel Edwards}}
|Governor of Louisiana
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Matt Bevin}}
|Governor of Kentucky
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Kate Brown}}
|Governor of Oregon
|Born in Spain to a member of the US Air Force, should be considered a natural-born citizen until proven otherwise.
|-
|35
|{{w|Mary Fallin}}
|Governor of Oklahoma
|
|-
|36
|{{w|Dannel Malloy}}
|Governor of Connecticut
|
|-
|37
|{{w|Kim Reynolds}}
|Governor of Iowa
|
|-
|38
|{{w|Phil Bryant}}
|Governor of Mississippi
|
|-
|39
|{{w|Asa Hutchinson}}
|Governor of Arkansas
|
|-
|40
|{{w|Jeff Colyer}}
|Governor of Kansas
|
|-
|41
|{{w|Gary Herbert}}
|Governor of Utah
|
|-
|42
|{{w|Brian Sandoval}}
|Governor of Nevada
|
|-
|43
|{{w|Susana Martinez}}
|Governor of New Mexico
|
|-
|44
|{{w|Jim Justice}}
|Governor of West Virginia
|
|-
|45
|{{w|Pete Ricketts}}
|Governor of Nebraska
|
|-
|46
|{{w|Butch Otter}}
|Governor of Idaho
|
|-
|47
|{{w|David Ige}}
|Governor of Hawaii
|
|-
|48
|{{w|Paul LePage}}
|Governor of Maine
|
|-
|49
|{{w|Chris Sununu}}
|Governor of New Hampshire
|
|-
|50
|{{w|Gina Raimondo}}
|Governor of Rhode Island
|
|-
|51
|{{w|Steve Bullock (American politician)|Steve Bullock}}
|Governor of Montana
|
|-
|52
|{{w|John Carney (politician)|John Carney}}
|Governor of Delaware
|
|-
|53
|{{w|Dennis Daugaard}}
|Governor of South Dakota
|
|-
|54
|{{w|Bill Walker (U.S. politician)|Bill Walker}}
|Governor of Alaska
|
|-
|55
|{{w|Doug Burgum}}
|Governor of North Dakota
|
|-
|56
|{{w|Phil Scott (politician)|Phil Scott}}
|Governor of Vermont
|
|-
|57
|{{w|Matt Mead}}
|Governor of Wyoming
|
|-
|58
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}
|Kate MicKinnon
|If she is available. Entries #10 and 11 on Randall's list have no eligible members.
|-
|59
|{{w|Luis Fonsi}}
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017, #2 artist
|Fonsi is the only eligible individual under the Billboard criterion.
|-
|60
|{{w|Peggy Whitson}}
|Astronaut, 665 days in space
|
|-
|61
|{{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}
|Astronaut, 534 days in space
|
|-
|62
|{{w|Scott Kelly}}
|Astronaut, 520 days in space
|
|-
|63
|{{w|Mike Fincke}}
|Astronaut, 382 days in space
|
|-
|64
|{{w|Mike Foale}}
|Astronaut, 374 days in space
|Foale was born in the UK but his mother is an American, and he holds dual citizenship with both countries. It isn't clear legally whether this situation would qualify him as being a "natural-born" citizen as US courts have never definitively ruled on what the term means, so similar to Governor Kate Brown his name is included in the list until further notice.
|-
|65
|{{w|Serena Williams}}
|Serena Williams
|Serena's place on this list assumes that you do not count her withdrawal against Maria Sharapova as a ''loss''; if that counts as a loss, then subsequent entries move up one position (as Sharapova is ineligible).
|-
|66
|{{w|Tom Brady}}
|{{w|National Football League Most Valuable Player Award|NFL MVP}}
|The MVPs of all other listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office.
|-
|67
|{{w|Bill Pullman}}
|Bill Pullman
|None of his children are old enough to become President at this time.
|-
|68
|''TBD''
|Jousting tournament
|Assumes that no eligible member of the British order of succession exists. The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating champions are too young to hold the office.
|}

==Transcript==
: A proposal for a new presidential line of succession
: Current politics aside, most experts agree the existing process is flawed. The Presidential Succession Act of 1947 is probably unconstitutional on several counts, and there are many practical issues with the system as well.
: (For more, see the surprisingly gripping ''Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission'', June 2009.)
: Proposed line of succession:
:# President
:# Vice president
:# Secretary of State
:# Secretary of Defense
:# Secretary of Homeland Security
:# Attorney General
:# Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the president's term and confirmed by the Senate
:# Tom Hanks
:# State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
:# Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
:# Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
:# Kate McKinnon, if available
:# Billboard year-end Hot 100 singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
:# The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
:# Serena Williams (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
:# The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
:# Bull Pullman and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
:# The entire line of succession to the British throne
:# The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
:# All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Politics]]

2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-07T14:42:04Z

162.158.62.207: /* Order of succession */

{{comic
| number = 2003
| date = June 6, 2018
| title = Presidential Succession
| image = presidential_succession.png
| titletext = Ties are broken by whoever was closest to the surface of Europa when they were born.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DESIGNATED SURVIVOR - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|United States presidential line of succession}} is the order of people who serve as president if the current incumbent president is incapacitated, dies, resigns, or is removed from office.

The {{w|Presidential_Succession_Act#Presidential_Succession_Act_of_1947|Presidential Succession Act of 1947}} was an act by the U.S. Congress that revised the presidential order of succession to its current order. This Act, though never challenged in the courts, may not be constitutional for two reasons. First, it is unclear whether members of Congress can be designated in the line of succession. Secondly, the Act allows for a cabinet officer to be "replaced" as acting President by a new Speaker of the House or a new President Pro Tempore of the Senate.

An additional concern regarding the Act is that after the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, the line of succession list the members of the Cabinet in the order that their department was established with the oldest departments first, irrespective of the Secretary's personal fitness or appropriateness of the office. The Department of Homeland Security is in charge of the security and protection of the United States and its citizens and would probably already be privy to sensitive intelligence and briefings related to national security, but because it is the latest of the Departments to have been established (in 2003), the Secretary of Homeland Security is all the way at the bottom of the current Presidential line of succession at 18th, behind other Secretaries such as that of Agriculture (9th) and Education (16th).

The full text of the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission can be found here: <https://www.brookings.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/06_continuity_of_government.pdf>. A short, readable summary, including the report's recommended new line of succession, is here: <https://www.brookings.edu/research/the-continuity-of-the-presidency-the-second-report-of-the-continuity-of-government-commission/>. The first 6 members of the commission's list are included in the current line of succession, after which they specificy that 5 new people should be appointed specifically for the purpose of succeeding the presidency if needed. Randall's list begins with these 11 people (stuffing all 5 of the new appointees into #7); afterwards, his list continues with more politicians, actors who have played Presidents, athletes, and others.

Randall's list omits the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, as well as many other cabinet positions. He is probably simply following the commission's report in this. But perhaps he does not find those people qualified to become President of the United States, or is concerned about the constitutionality of lawmakers becoming President. However, he does not seem to be concerned about constitutionality, because he included the entire line of succession to the British throne, most of whom do not meet the requirement to be a natural-born citizen of the United States.{{Citation needed}}

Randall's list includes several other people who also might not be eligible to become President either because they are not natural-born U.S. citizens (e.g., as of the time of the comic's publication, {{w|Serena Williams}} had withdrawn from her last match in the {{w|French Open}} to {{w|Maria Sharapova}}, who is Russian) or they are under 35 years of age ({{w|Russell Westbrook}}, the reigning NBA Most Valuable Player at the time of the comic's publication, was only 29 years old). These would mainly be athletes due to the relatively global reach of the four major professional sports leagues in North America and the fact that 35 is quite old for a professional athlete, let alone one who is good enough to win the league MVP. Presumably, those who wouldn't qualify for the office of President would be skipped over like in real life -- at the comic's publication, {{w|Elaine Chao}} was the Secretary of Transportation and would normally be 14th in line, but because she is a naturalized citizen of the US (she was born in Taiwan) she would not qualify for the office if the line came to her.

This is another comic in the continuing line of comics about American politics, especially after the election of Donald Trump as President in 2016.

==Order of succession==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!#
!Randall's order
!Current order by the 1947 Act
!Notes
|-
|1
|President
|President
|Not generally considered part of the line of succession, as incumbents cannot "succeed" to their own post. (This should really be item 0 on the list.)
|-
|2
|Vice president
|Vice president
|No change
|-
|3
|Secretary of State
|Speaker of the House of Representatives
|Moved up from 5th position. This is likely a serious suggestion. Existing rules of succession hand Executive power to the leaders of the Legislative branch if the President and Vice-President are both killed or removed from power. This is troubling for a number of reasons. One is that the Executive and Legislative branches are supposed to act as independent checks on one another's power, and so are supposed to be kept separate. Another issue is that the Executive and Legislative branches are frequently controlled by political rivals from different political parties. In such a case, assassins could effectively reverse the results of Presidential elections if they managed to kill the President and Vice-President in a short period of time (which is used as part of the twist ending in {{w|White House Down}}). Additionally, leaders of the House and Senate aren't as deeply connected to the military and diplomatic missions of the country, and so would have a hard time maintaining continuity, particularly if an attack or disaster killed multiple national leaders at once. These problems could all be addressed by keeping the initial Line of Succession confined to the Executive branch of government.
|-
|4
|Secretary of Defense
|President pro tempore of the Senate
|Moved up from 7th position
|-
|5
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|Secretary of State
|Moved up from 19th position, possibly to highlight the Attorney General's place in the current order
|-
|6
|Attorney General
|Secretary of the Treasury
|Moved up from 8th position
|-
|7
|Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the President's term and confirmed by the Senate
|Secretary of Defense
|{{w|Washington, D.C.}} is the capital of the United States, and is where the {{w|White House}}, the President's residence, is located. Presumably this provision covers the case where much of the government, including positions 1–6 here, are killed by a natural disaster or attack in Washington, D.C.

This suggestion establishes no qualifications for these people, but the fact that they'd need to be confirmed by the Senate suggests that they would be chosen to be competent for the role. It is also unclear if an order is determined among these five or if they take up a joint presidency. This suggestion is taken from the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission as a potential mechanism to ensure members of succession are not in Washington DC during a catastrophic attack.
|-
|8
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Attorney General
|Academy Award-winning American actor. This is the first unambiguously unserious suggestion.{{Citation needed}} Tom Hanks is very popular and considered exceptionally likeable by many Americans, but has never served in public office or displayed any particular affinity for politics. The implication is that Mr. Hanks would be easily accepted as a leader, based solely on his personal charm.
|-
|9
|State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
|Secretary of the Interior
|Also taken from Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission. At the time of publication, the last {{w|United States Census}} was the 2010 Census. As California is the most populous state, Gov {{w|Jerry Brown}} would be first in line.

See also the {{w|2010_United_States_Census#State_rankings|state population rankings}} and the {{w|list of current United States governors}}. As worded, this criterion would exclude territorial governors (and the Mayor of Washington, D.C.).
|-
|10
|Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
|Secretary of Agriculture
|Oscars, or {{w|Academy Awards}}, are annual film awards awarded by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. At the time of publication, the only Oscar awarded for playing a governor was {{w|Broderick Crawford}}'s 1949 Best Actor award for the fictional Willie Stark in ''{{w|All the King's Men (1949 film)|All the King's Men}}'' (a character based on {{w|Huey Long}}). However, Crawford died in 1986, so would be unable to serve as President.

May be a reference to the {{w|Political career of Arnold Schwarzenegger}}: a highly-lauded actor who became governor of California, but did not win an Oscar or play a governor before being elected. (As a naturalized citizen, he is also ineligible for the Presidency.)
|-
|11
|Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
|Secretary of Commerce
|The {{w|Governors Awards}} are an annual award ceremony hosted by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to present lifetime achievement awards within the film industry. As this award is a lifetime achievement award, it does not seem possible that an actor could win this award for simply playing someone named Oscar. Notwithstanding the nature of the award, at the time of publication, no recipient of a Governors Award has played a character named Oscar.

Obviously, the joke is that changing the order of the words from the previous proposal produces something that could actually exist.
|-
|12
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}, if available
|Secretary of Labor
|Comedic actress famous for being a cast member on {{w|Saturday Night Live}}. She is known for her character work and celebrity impressions. She has recently done impersonations of members of the Trump administration including Spokeswoman {{w|Kellyanne Conway}} and Attorney General {{w|Jeff Sessions}}. She also played {{w|Hillary Clinton}} during the 2016 campaign and presumably would have played her when she was President had she won; but since Clinton lost, McKinnon has not actually played a President.
|-
|13
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
|Secretary of Health and Human Services
|The {{w|Billboard Hot 100}} is the music industry standard record chart in the United States for singles, published weekly by Billboard magazine. The weekly data is aggregated into a cumulative {{w|Billboard Year-End}} (based on a "year" that ends the third week of November, in order to meet December publication deadlines). At the time of publication, the most recent such list was the {{w|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017}}.

Based on that list, the artists considered for the presidential succession would be: {{w|Ed Sheeran}}, {{w|Luis Fonsi}}, {{w|Bruno Mars}}, {{w|Kendrick Lamar}}, Alex Pall (of {{w|The Chainsmokers}}), {{w|Quavo|Quavoius Keyate Marshall}} (of {{w|Migos}}), {{w|Sam Hunt}}, {{w|Dan Reynolds}} (of {{w|Imagine Dragons}}), and {{w|Post Malone}}. There are only nine names instead of ten because The Chainsmokers had two of the top 10 singles in 2017. Of these, only Luis Fonsi (40 years old, born in Puerto Rico) is legally eligible for the office; Sheeran is from the UK, and the other seven are too young.
|-
|14
|The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
|Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
|Astronauts are highly respected and rigorously selected, but most have little involvement in politics. According to [https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders NASA], the top 5 US astronauts by cumulative space time are: {{w|Peggy Whitson}}, {{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}, {{W|Scott Kelly (astronaut)|Scott Kelly}}, {{w|Mike Fincke}}, and {{w|Mike Foale}}. However, it isn't clear whether Foale would qualify as a natural-born citizen as he was born in the UK and his father is British but his mother is American.
|-
|15
|{{w|Serena Williams}} (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
|Secretary of Transportation
|As of the time of publication, Serena Williams was the top female tennis player (though not the world #1 ranking, because she took time off for pregnancy). She is arguably the greatest female tennis player of all-time, winning 39 {{w|Grand Slam (tennis)|Grand Slam}} titles, including 23 women's singles titles. At the time of publication Serena Williams did win her most recent match (2018 French Open, third round, on June 2nd), although she withdrew from her next match against Maria Sharapova (which perhaps should count as a loss, especially if she withdrew in order to preserve her place in the line of succession and led the terrorist attack that killed everybody in place ahead of her).

If her most recent defeat was to a non-US player, presumably she would be skipped over in line although this is not explicitly stated (the current succession list skips over anyone who would not normally qualify for not being a natural-born US citizen).
|-
|16
|The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
|Secretary of Energy
|MVP stands for {{w|Most Valuable Player}}. The 4 listed leagues are the major sports leagues in the United States, the {{w|National Basketball Association}} (NBA), the {{w|National Football League}} (NFL), {{w|Major League Baseball}} (MLB), and the {{w|National Hockey League}} (NHL). We're assuming that Randall meant the regular season MVPs of each league, as each league also awards MVPs for their respective championships (or in the case of the NHL's {{w|Conn Smythe Trophy}}, their entire playoffs).

As of the time of publication, the most recent MVPs for the listed sports were {{w|Russell Westbrook}} (NBA), {{w|Tom Brady}} (NFL), {{w|José Altuve}} and {{w|Giancarlo Stanton}} (MLB has two, one for the American League and one for the National League), and {{w|Connor McDavid}} (NHL). Of these, only Brady would qualify for the list - Altuve and McDavid are not US citizens (the former is from Venezuela and the latter from Canada), and Westbrook (29) and Stanton (28) are too young.
|-
|17
|{{w|Bill Pullman}} and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
|Secretary of Education
|American actor, known for playing President Thomas J. Whitmore in the 1996 film ''{{w|Independence Day (1996 film)|Independence Day}}''.

Absolute primogeniture is a form of succession where the oldest direct descendant regardless of gender receives the title. This is contrasted to {{w|Male-preference primogeniture}}, in which males come before females in the order of the throne, whether the males were born first or not. This may be a reference to the British law {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013}}, which changed the order of the throne from male-preference primogeniture to absolute primogeniture. This act allows {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} to retain her place in line before {{w|Prince Louis of Cambridge|Prince Louis}}.

As of the present, Pullman's immediate descendants consist of three children, with Maesa Pullman being the oldest at age 29, so all are currently too young for the presidency.
|-
|18
|The entire line of succession to the British throne
|Secretary of Veterans Affairs
|According to the Constitution, only a natural-born citizen of the United States can become President, which means that at least most of the line of succession to the British throne is ineligible. However, it is possible that someone in the line of succession to the British throne either is a dual citizen (especially one who is a U.S. citizen based on place of birth and a British citizen based on having a parent who was a British citizen descended from {{w|Sophia of Hanover}}) or is not British (a person from outside of Britain can become King; for example, some, including George I, were from what is now Germany).

The first 57 names on the list are {{w|Succession_to_the_British_throne#Current_line_of_succession|here}}, as of the time of publication. [https://lineofsuccession.co.uk/?date=2018-06-06 British Line of Succession on 6 June 2018] shows the list as it was at the comic's publication. American citizens [http://articles.latimes.com/1988-02-11/news/vw-42233_1_royal-house have, at times] been on the list, but no natural-born Americans are currently in the top 100. In theory, however, the full British succession list includes several thousand people (living descendants of {{w|Sophia of Hanover}} who are not Roman Catholic or otherwise disqualified), and it is possible that one or more such people would also be eligible to be President of the United States.

The humor here derives from the fact that the United States was established by declaring independence from the United Kingdom, with rejection of the British monarchy being a basic founding principle, and a core principle of US governance. To appoint the British monarchy to the American presidency would contradict the basic goals of American independence. Alternatively, it may reference the recent wedding of {{w|Prince Harry}} to {{w|Meghan Markle}}, although she is not in the order of succession to the British throne (and she is planning to give up her U.S. citizenship in favour of British citizenship, so her children (who would come immediately after Harry in the British line of succession) would not be born U.S. citizens either). A similar sequence of events was the plotline of the comedy film ''{{w|King Ralph}}'', which saw an American become the British monarch after the death of the royal family.
|-
|19
|The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|The {{w|Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest}} is an annual American hot dog competitive eating competition sponsored by {{w|Nathan's Famous}} held on July 4th. As of the time of publication, the most recent men's winner is {{w|Joey Chestnut}} and the women's winner is {{w|Miki Sudo}}. Neither is currently old enough to assume the office.
|-
|20
|All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament
|''None''
|Effective for a population up to 536,870,912 individuals (2^29) which would be enough to cover the entire US population (estimated at around 325 million at time of publication), although additional rounds can be added should the population grow further.

This is probably a reference to the {{w|Matter of Britain}} (e.g., {{w|The Sword in the Stone (film)|The Sword in the Stone}}), where, after the death of Uther Pendragon, with no known successor to the throne of England for years, it is decided that the winner of a jousting tournament shall be crowned. However, Arthur, the Wart, pulls the Sword from the Stone.
|}

The title text mentions whoever was closest to the surface of {{w|Europa}} when they were born. Europa is a moon of Jupiter, so most people would be very far from its surface when they were born. However, depending on the relative positions of Earth and Jupiter when you were born, you could easily have been tens of millions of kilometers closer. Alternatively, Randall could be playing on how Europa sounds like Europe.

===List of specific individuals===
Based on the comic's defined criteria for the order of succession, these are the specific individuals in that order, as of the date the comic was published:
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!Order
!Name
!Reason
!Notes
|-
|1
|{{w|Donald Trump}}
|{{w|President of the United States}}
|
|-
|2
|{{w|Mike Pence}}
|{{w|Vice President of the United States}}
|
|-
|3
|{{w|Mike Pompeo}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of State}}
|
|-
|4
|{{w|Jim Mattis}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Defense}}
|
|-
|5
|{{w|Kirstjen Nielsen}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Homeland Security}}
|
|-
|6
|{{w|Jeff Sessions}}
|{{w|United States Attorney General}}
|
|-
|7
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Tom Hanks
|As Donald Trump did not appoint anyone to fill position #7 on Randall's line of succession, Hanks immediately follows after Sessions.
|-
|8
|{{w|Jerry Brown}}
|Governor of California
|
|-
|9
|{{w|Greg Abbott}}
|Governor of Texas
|
|-
|10
|{{w|Andrew Cuomo}}
|Governor of New York
|
|-
|11
|{{w|Rick Scott}}
|Governor of Florida
|
|-
|12
|{{w|Bruce Rauner}}
|Governor of Illinois
|
|-
|13
|{{w|Tom Wolf}}
|Governor of Pennsylvania
|
|-
|14
|{{w|John Kasich}}
|Governor of Ohio
|
|-
|15
|{{w|Rick Snyder}}
|Governor of Michigan
|
|-
|16
|{{w|Nathan Deal}}
|Governor of Georgia
|
|-
|17
|{{w|Roy Cooper}}
|Governor of North Carolina
|
|-
|18
|{{w|Phil Murphy}}
|Governor of New Jersey
|
|-
|19
|{{w|Ralph Northam}}
|Governor of Virginia
|
|-
|20
|{{w|Jay Inslee}}
|Governor of Washington
|
|-
|21
|{{w|Charlie Baker}}
|Governor of Massachusetts
|
|-
|22
|{{w|Eric Holcomb}}
|Governor of Indiana
|
|-
|23
|{{w|Doug Ducey}}
|Governor of Arizona
|
|-
|24
|{{w|Bill Haslam}}
|Governor of Tennessee
|
|-
|25
|{{w|Mike Parson}}
|Governor of Missouri
|
|-
|26
|{{w|Larry Hogan}}
|Governor of Maryland
|
|-
|27
|{{w|Scott Walker (politician)|Scott Walker}}
|Governor of Wisconsin
|
|-
|28
|{{w|Mark Dayton}}
|Governor of Minnesota
|
|-
|29
|{{w|John Hickenlooper}}
|Governor of Colorado
|
|-
|30
|{{w|Kay Ivey}}
|Governor of Alabama
|
|-
|31
|{{w|Henry McMaster}}
|Governor of South Carolina
|
|-
|32
|{{w|John Bel Edwards}}
|Governor of Louisiana
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Matt Bevin}}
|Governor of Kentucky
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Kate Brown}}
|Governor of Oregon
|Born in Spain to a member of the US Air Force, should be considered a natural-born citizen until proven otherwise.
|-
|35
|{{w|Mary Fallin}}
|Governor of Oklahoma
|
|-
|36
|{{w|Dannel Malloy}}
|Governor of Connecticut
|
|-
|37
|{{w|Kim Reynolds}}
|Governor of Iowa
|
|-
|38
|{{w|Phil Bryant}}
|Governor of Mississippi
|
|-
|39
|{{w|Asa Hutchinson}}
|Governor of Arkansas
|
|-
|40
|{{w|Jeff Colyer}}
|Governor of Kansas
|
|-
|41
|{{w|Gary Herbert}}
|Governor of Utah
|
|-
|42
|{{w|Brian Sandoval}}
|Governor of Nevada
|
|-
|43
|{{w|Susana Martinez}}
|Governor of New Mexico
|
|-
|44
|{{w|Jim Justice}}
|Governor of West Virginia
|
|-
|45
|{{w|Pete Ricketts}}
|Governor of Nebraska
|
|-
|46
|{{w|Butch Otter}}
|Governor of Idaho
|
|-
|47
|{{w|David Ige}}
|Governor of Hawaii
|
|-
|48
|{{w|Paul LePage}}
|Governor of Maine
|
|-
|49
|{{w|Chris Sununu}}
|Governor of New Hampshire
|
|-
|50
|{{w|Gina Raimondo}}
|Governor of Rhode Island
|
|-
|51
|{{w|Steve Bullock (American politician)|Steve Bullock}}
|Governor of Montana
|
|-
|52
|{{w|John Carney (politician)|John Carney}}
|Governor of Delaware
|
|-
|53
|{{w|Dennis Daugaard}}
|Governor of South Dakota
|
|-
|54
|{{w|Bill Walker (U.S. politician)|Bill Walker}}
|Governor of Alaska
|
|-
|55
|{{w|Doug Burgum}}
|Governor of North Dakota
|
|-
|56
|{{w|Phil Scott (politician)|Phil Scott}}
|Governor of Vermont
|
|-
|57
|{{w|Matt Mead}}
|Governor of Wyoming
|
|-
|58
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}
|Kate MicKinnon
|If she is available. Entries #10 and 11 on Randall's list have no eligible members.
|-
|59
|{{w|Luis Fonsi}}
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017, #2 artist
|Fonsi is the only eligible individual under the Billboard criterion.
|-
|60
|{{w|Peggy Whitson}}
|Astronaut, 665 days in space
|
|-
|61
|{{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}
|Astronaut, 534 days in space
|
|-
|62
|{{w|Scott Kelly}}
|Astronaut, 520 days in space
|
|-
|63
|{{w|Mike Fincke}}
|Astronaut, 382 days in space
|
|-
|64
|{{w|Mike Foale}}
|Astronaut, 374 days in space
|Foale was born in the UK but his mother is an American, and he holds dual citizenship with both countries. It isn't clear legally whether this situation would qualify him as being a "natural-born" citizen as US courts have never definitively ruled on what the term means, so similar to Governor Kate Brown his name is included in the list until further notice.
|-
|65
|{{w|Serena Williams}}
|Serena Williams
|Serena's place on this list assumes that you do not count her withdrawal against Maria Sharapova as a ''loss''; if that counts as a loss, then subsequent entries move up one position (as Sharapova is ineligible).
|-
|66
|{{w|Tom Brady}}
|{{w|National Football League Most Valuable Player Award|NFL MVP}}
|The MVPs of all other listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office.
|-
|67
|{{w|Bill Pullman}}
|Bill Pullman
|None of his children are old enough to become President at this time.
|-
|68
|''TBD''
|Jousting tournament
|Assumes that no eligible member of the British order of succession exists. The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating champions are too young to hold the office.
|}

==Transcript==
: A proposal for a new presidential line of succession
: Current politics aside, most experts agree the existing process is flawed. The Presidential Succession Act of 1947 is probably unconstitutional on several counts, and there are many practical issues with the system as well.
: (For more, see the surprisingly gripping ''Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission'', June 2009.)
: Proposed line of succession:
:# President
:# Vice president
:# Secretary of State
:# Secretary of Defense
:# Secretary of Homeland Security
:# Attorney General
:# Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the president's term and confirmed by the Senate
:# Tom Hanks
:# State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
:# Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
:# Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
:# Kate McKinnon, if available
:# Billboard year-end Hot 100 singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
:# The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
:# Serena Williams (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
:# The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
:# Bull Pullman and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
:# The entire line of succession to the British throne
:# The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
:# All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Politics]]

2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-07T14:18:51Z

162.158.62.207:

{{comic
| number = 2003
| date = June 6, 2018
| title = Presidential Succession
| image = presidential_succession.png
| titletext = Ties are broken by whoever was closest to the surface of Europa when they were born.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DESIGNATED SURVIVOR - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|United States presidential line of succession}} is the order of people who serve as president if the current incumbent president is incapacitated, dies, resigns, or is removed from office.

The {{w|Presidential_Succession_Act#Presidential_Succession_Act_of_1947|Presidential Succession Act of 1947}} was an act by the U.S. Congress that revised the presidential order of succession to its current order. This Act, though never challenged in the courts, may not be constitutional for two reasons. First, it is unclear whether members of Congress can be designated in the line of succession. Secondly, the Act allows for a cabinet officer to be "replaced" as acting President by a new Speaker of the House or a new President Pro Tempore of the Senate.

An additional concern regarding the Act is that after the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, the line of succession list the members of the Cabinet in the order that their department was established with the oldest departments first, irrespective of the Secretary's personal fitness or appropriateness of the office. The Department of Homeland Security is in charge of the security and protection of the United States and its citizens and would probably already be privy to sensitive intelligence and briefings related to national security, but because it is the latest of the Departments to have been established (in 2003), the Secretary of Homeland Security is all the way at the bottom of the current Presidential line of succession at 18th, behind other Secretaries such as that of Agriculture (9th) and Education (16th).

The full text of the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission can be found here: <https://www.brookings.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/06_continuity_of_government.pdf>. A short, readable summary, including the report's recommended new line of succession, is here: <https://www.brookings.edu/research/the-continuity-of-the-presidency-the-second-report-of-the-continuity-of-government-commission/>. The first 6 members of the commission's list are included in the current line of succession, after which they specificy that 5 new people should be appointed specifically for the purpose of succeeding the presidency if needed. Randall's list begins with these 11 people (stuffing all 5 of the new appointees into #7); afterwards, his list continues with more politicians, actors who have played Presidents, athletes, and others.

Randall's list omits the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, as well as many other cabinet positions. He is probably simply following the commission's report in this. But perhaps he does not find those people qualified to become President of the United States, or is concerned about the constitutionality of lawmakers becoming President. However, he does not seem to be concerned about constitutionality, because he included the entire line of succession to the British throne, most of whom do not meet the requirement to be a natural-born citizen of the United States.{{Citation needed}}

Randall's list includes several other people who also might not be eligible to become President either because they are not natural-born U.S. citizens (e.g., as of the time of the comic's publication, {{w|Serena Williams}} had withdrawn from her last match in the {{w|French Open}} to {{w|Maria Sharapova}}, who is Russian) or they are under 35 years of age ({{w|Russell Westbrook}}, the reigning NBA Most Valuable Player at the time of the comic's publication, was only 29 years old). These would mainly be athletes due to the relatively global reach of the four major professional sports leagues in North America and the fact that 35 is quite old for a professional athlete, let alone one who is good enough to win the league MVP. Presumably, those who wouldn't qualify for the office of President would be skipped over like in real life -- at the comic's publication, {{w|Elaine Chao}} was the Secretary of Transportation and would normally be 14th in line, but because she is a naturalized citizen of the US (she was born in Taiwan) she would not qualify for the office if the line came to her.

This is another comic in the continuing line of comics about American politics, especially after the election of Donald Trump as President in 2016.

==Order of succession==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!#
!Randall's order
!Current order by the 1947 Act
!Notes
|-
|1
|President
|President
|Not generally considered part of the line of succession, as incumbents cannot "succeed" to their own post. (This should really be item 0 on the list.)
|-
|2
|Vice president
|Vice president
|No change
|-
|3
|Secretary of State
|Speaker of the House of Representatives
|Moved up from 5th position. This is likely a serious suggestion. Existing rules of succession hand Executive power to the leaders of the Legislative branch if the President and Vice-President are both killed or removed from power. This is troubling for a number of reasons. One is that the Executive and Legislative branches are supposed to act as independent checks on one another's power, and so are supposed to be kept separate. Another issue is that the Executive and Legislative branches are frequently controlled by political rivals from different political parties. In such a case, assassins could effectively reverse the results of Presidential elections if they managed to kill the President and Vice-President in a short period of time (which is used as part of the twist ending in {{w|White House Down}}). Additionally, leaders of the House and Senate aren't as deeply connected to the military and diplomatic missions of the country, and so would have a hard time maintaining continuity, particularly if an attack or disaster killed multiple national leaders at once. These problems could all be addressed by keeping the initial Line of Succession confined to the Executive branch of government.
|-
|4
|Secretary of Defense
|President pro tempore of the Senate
|Moved up from 7th position
|-
|5
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|Secretary of State
|Moved up from 19th position, possibly to highlight the Attorney General's place in the current order
|-
|6
|Attorney General
|Secretary of the Treasury
|Moved up from 8th position
|-
|7
|Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the President's term and confirmed by the Senate
|Secretary of Defense
|{{w|Washington, D.C.}} is the capital of the United States, and is where the {{w|White House}}, the President's residence, is located. Presumably this provision covers the case where much of the government, including positions 1–6 here, are killed by a natural disaster or attack in Washington, D.C.

This suggestion establishes no qualifications for these people, but the fact that they'd need to be confirmed by the Senate suggests that they would be chosen to be competent for the role. It is also unclear if an order is determined among these five or if they take up a joint presidency. This suggestion is taken from the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission as a potential mechanism to ensure members of succession are not in Washington DC during a catastrophic attack.
|-
|8
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Attorney General
|Academy Award-winning American actor. This is the first unambiguously unserious suggestion.{{Citation needed}} Tom Hanks is very popular and considered exceptionally likeable by many Americans, but has never served in public office or displayed any particular affinity for politics. The implication is that Mr. Hanks would be easily accepted as a leader, based solely on his personal charm.
|-
|9
|State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
|Secretary of the Interior
|Also taken from Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission. At the time of publication, the last {{w|United States Census}} was the 2010 Census. As California is the most populous state, Gov {{w|Jerry Brown}} would be first in line.

See also the {{w|2010_United_States_Census#State_rankings|state population rankings}} and the {{w|list of current United States governors}}. As worded, this criterion would exclude territorial governors (and the Mayor of Washington, D.C.).
|-
|10
|Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
|Secretary of Agriculture
|Oscars, or {{w|Academy Awards}}, are annual film awards awarded by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. At the time of publication, the only Oscar awarded for playing a governor was {{w|Broderick Crawford}}'s 1949 Best Actor award for the fictional Willie Stark in ''{{w|All the King's Men (1949 film)|All the King's Men}}'' (a character based on {{w|Huey Long}}). However, Crawford died in 1986, so would be unable to serve as President.

May be a reference to the {{w|Political career of Arnold Schwarzenegger}}: a highly-lauded actor who became governor of California, but did not win an Oscar or play a governor before being elected. (As a naturalized citizen, he is also ineligible for the Presidency.)
|-
|11
|Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
|Secretary of Commerce
|The {{w|Governors Awards}} are an annual award ceremony hosted by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to present lifetime achievement awards within the film industry. As this award is a lifetime achievement award, it does not seem possible that an actor could win this award for simply playing someone named Oscar. Notwithstanding the nature of the award, at the time of publication, no recipient of a Governors Award has played a character named Oscar.

Obviously, the joke is that changing the order of the words from the previous proposal produces something that could actually exist.
|-
|12
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}, if available
|Secretary of Labor
|Comedic actress famous for being a cast member on {{w|Saturday Night Live}}. She is known for her character work and celebrity impressions. She has recently done impersonations of members of the Trump administration including Spokeswoman {{w|Kellyanne Conway}} and Attorney General {{w|Jeff Sessions}}. She also played {{w|Hillary Clinton}} during the 2016 campaign and presumably would have played her when she was President had she won; but since Clinton lost, McKinnon has not actually played a President.
|-
|13
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
|Secretary of Health and Human Services
|The {{w|Billboard Hot 100}} is the music industry standard record chart in the United States for singles, published weekly by Billboard magazine. The weekly data is aggregated into a cumulative {{w|Billboard Year-End}} (based on a "year" that ends the third week of November, in order to meet December publication deadlines). At the time of publication, the most recent such list was the {{w|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017}}.

Based on that list, the artists considered for the presidential succession would be: {{w|Ed Sheeran}}, {{w|Luis Fonsi}}, {{w|Bruno Mars}}, {{w|Kendrick Lamar}}, Alex Pall (of {{w|The Chainsmokers}}), {{w|Quavo|Quavoius Keyate Marshall}} (of {{w|Migos}}), {{w|Sam Hunt}}, {{w|Dan Reynolds}} (of {{w|Imagine Dragons}}), and {{w|Post Malone}}. There are only nine names instead of ten because The Chainsmokers had two of the top 10 singles in 2017. Of these, only Luis Fonsi (40 years old, born in Puerto Rico) is legally eligible for the office; Sheeran is from the UK, and the other seven are too young.
|-
|14
|The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
|Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
|Astronauts are highly respected and rigorously selected, but most have little involvement in politics. According to [https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders NASA], the top 5 US astronauts by cumulative space time are: {{w|Peggy Whitson}}, {{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}, {{W|Scott Kelly (astronaut)|Scott Kelly}}, {{w|Mike Fincke}}, and {{w|Mike Foale}}. However, it isn't clear whether Foale would qualify as a natural-born citizen as he was born in the UK and his father is British but his mother is American.
|-
|15
|{{w|Serena Williams}} (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
|Secretary of Transportation
|As of the time of publication, Serena Williams was the top female tennis player (though not the world #1 ranking, because she took time off for pregnancy). She is arguably the greatest female tennis player of all-time, winning 39 {{w|Grand Slam (tennis)|Grand Slam}} titles, including 23 women's singles titles. At the time of publication Serena Williams did win her most recent match (2018 French Open, third round, on June 2nd), although she withdrew from her next match against Maria Sharapova (which perhaps should count as a loss, especially if she withdrew in order to preserve her place in the line of succession and led the terrorist attack that killed everybody in place ahead of her).

If her most recent defeat was to a non-US player, presumably she would be skipped over in line although this is not explicitly stated (the current succession list skips over anyone who would not normally qualify for not being a natural-born US citizen).
|-
|16
|The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
|Secretary of Energy
|MVP stands for {{w|Most Valuable Player}}. The 4 listed leagues are the major sports leagues in the United States, the {{w|National Basketball Association}} (NBA), the {{w|National Football League}} (NFL), {{w|Major League Baseball}} (MLB), and the {{w|National Hockey League}} (NHL).

As of the time of publication, the most recent MVPs for the listed sports were {{w|Russell Westbrook}} (NBA), {{w|Tom Brady}} (NFL), {{w|José Altuve}} and {{w|Giancarlo Stanton}} (MLB has two, one for the American League and one for the National League), and {{w|Connor McDavid}} (NHL). Of these, only Brady would qualify for the list - Altuve and McDavid are not US citizens (the former is from Venezuela and the latter from Canada), and Westbrook (29) and Stanton (28) are too young.
|-
|17
|{{w|Bill Pullman}} and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
|Secretary of Education
|American actor, known for playing President Thomas J. Whitmore in the 1996 film ''{{w|Independence Day (1996 film)|Independence Day}}''.

Absolute primogeniture is a form of succession where the oldest direct descendant regardless of gender receives the title. This is contrasted to {{w|Male-preference primogeniture}}, in which males come before females in the order of the throne, whether the males were born first or not. This may be a reference to the British law {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013}}, which changed the order of the throne from male-preference primogeniture to absolute primogeniture. This act allows {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} to retain her place in line before {{w|Prince Louis of Cambridge|Prince Louis}}.

As of the present, Pullman's immediate descendants consist of three children, with Maesa Pullman being the oldest at age 29, so all are currently too young for the presidency.
|-
|18
|The entire line of succession to the British throne
|Secretary of Veterans Affairs
|According to the Constitution, only a natural-born citizen of the United States can become President, which means that at least most of the line of succession to the British throne is ineligible. However, it is possible that someone in the line of succession to the British throne either is a dual citizen (especially one who is a U.S. citizen based on place of birth and a British citizen based on having a parent who was a British citizen descended from {{w|Sophia of Hanover}}) or is not British (a person from outside of Britain can become King; for example, some, including George I, were from what is now Germany).

The first 57 names on the list are {{w|Succession_to_the_British_throne#Current_line_of_succession|here}}, as of the time of publication. [https://lineofsuccession.co.uk/?date=2018-06-06 British Line of Succession on 6 June 2018] shows the list as it was at the comic's publication. American citizens [http://articles.latimes.com/1988-02-11/news/vw-42233_1_royal-house have, at times] been on the list, but no natural-born Americans are currently in the top 100. In theory, however, the full British succession list includes several thousand people (living descendants of {{w|Sophia of Hanover}} who are not Roman Catholic or otherwise disqualified), and it is possible that one or more such people would also be eligible to be President of the United States.

The humor here derives from the fact that the United States was established by declaring independence from the United Kingdom, with rejection of the British monarchy being a basic founding principle, and a core principle of US governance. To appoint the British monarchy to the American presidency would contradict the basic goals of American independence. Alternatively, it may reference the recent wedding of {{w|Prince Harry}} to {{w|Meghan Markle}}, although she is not in the order of succession to the British throne (and she is planning to give up her U.S. citizenship in favour of British citizenship, so her children (who would come immediately after Harry in the British line of succession) would not be born U.S. citizens either). A similar sequence of events was the plotline of the comedy film ''{{w|King Ralph}}'', which saw an American become the British monarch after the death of the royal family.
|-
|19
|The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|The {{w|Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest}} is an annual American hot dog competitive eating competition sponsored by {{w|Nathan's Famous}} held on July 4th. As of the time of publication, the most recent men's winner is {{w|Joey Chestnut}} and the women's winner is {{w|Miki Sudo}}. Neither is currently old enough to assume the office.
|-
|20
|All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament
|''None''
|Effective for a population up to 536,870,912 individuals (2^29) which would be enough to cover the entire US population (estimated at around 325 million at time of publication), although additional rounds can be added should the population grow further.

This is probably a reference to the {{w|Matter of Britain}} (e.g., {{w|The Sword in the Stone (film)|The Sword in the Stone}}), where, after the death of Uther Pendragon, with no known successor to the throne of England for years, it is decided that the winner of a jousting tournament shall be crowned. However, Arthur, the Wart, pulls the Sword from the Stone.
|}

The title text mentions whoever was closest to the surface of {{w|Europa}} when they were born. Europa is a moon of Jupiter, so most people would be very far from its surface when they were born. However, depending on the relative positions of Earth and Jupiter when you were born, you could easily have been tens of millions of kilometers closer. Alternatively, Randall could be playing on how Europa sounds like Europe.

===List of specific individuals===
Based on the comic's defined criteria for the order of succession, these are the specific individuals in that order, as of the date the comic was published:
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!Order
!Name
!Reason
!Notes
|-
|1
|{{w|Donald Trump}}
|{{w|President of the United States}}
|
|-
|2
|{{w|Mike Pence}}
|{{w|Vice President of the United States}}
|
|-
|3
|{{w|Mike Pompeo}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of State}}
|
|-
|4
|{{w|Jim Mattis}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Defense}}
|
|-
|5
|{{w|Kirstjen Nielsen}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Homeland Security}}
|
|-
|6
|{{w|Jeff Sessions}}
|{{w|United States Attorney General}}
|
|-
|7
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Tom Hanks
|As Donald Trump did not appoint anyone to fill position #7 on Randall's line of succession, Hanks immediately follows after Sessions.
|-
|8
|{{w|Jerry Brown}}
|Governor of California
|
|-
|9
|{{w|Greg Abbott}}
|Governor of Texas
|
|-
|10
|{{w|Andrew Cuomo}}
|Governor of New York
|
|-
|11
|{{w|Rick Scott}}
|Governor of Florida
|
|-
|12
|{{w|Bruce Rauner}}
|Governor of Illinois
|
|-
|13
|{{w|Tom Wolf}}
|Governor of Pennsylvania
|
|-
|14
|{{w|John Kasich}}
|Governor of Ohio
|
|-
|15
|{{w|Rick Snyder}}
|Governor of Michigan
|
|-
|16
|{{w|Nathan Deal}}
|Governor of Georgia
|
|-
|17
|{{w|Roy Cooper}}
|Governor of North Carolina
|
|-
|18
|{{w|Phil Murphy}}
|Governor of New Jersey
|
|-
|19
|{{w|Ralph Northam}}
|Governor of Virginia
|
|-
|20
|{{w|Jay Inslee}}
|Governor of Washington
|
|-
|21
|{{w|Charlie Baker}}
|Governor of Massachusetts
|
|-
|22
|{{w|Eric Holcomb}}
|Governor of Indiana
|
|-
|23
|{{w|Doug Ducey}}
|Governor of Arizona
|
|-
|24
|{{w|Bill Haslam}}
|Governor of Tennessee
|
|-
|25
|{{w|Mike Parson}}
|Governor of Missouri
|
|-
|26
|{{w|Larry Hogan}}
|Governor of Maryland
|
|-
|27
|{{w|Scott Walker (politician)|Scott Walker}}
|Governor of Wisconsin
|
|-
|28
|{{w|Mark Dayton}}
|Governor of Minnesota
|
|-
|29
|{{w|John Hickenlooper}}
|Governor of Colorado
|
|-
|30
|{{w|Kay Ivey}}
|Governor of Alabama
|
|-
|31
|{{w|Henry McMaster}}
|Governor of South Carolina
|
|-
|32
|{{w|John Bel Edwards}}
|Governor of Louisiana
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Matt Bevin}}
|Governor of Kentucky
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Kate Brown}}
|Governor of Oregon
|Born in Spain to a member of the US Air Force, should be considered a natural-born citizen until proven otherwise.
|-
|35
|{{w|Mary Fallin}}
|Governor of Oklahoma
|
|-
|36
|{{w|Dannel Malloy}}
|Governor of Connecticut
|
|-
|37
|{{w|Kim Reynolds}}
|Governor of Iowa
|
|-
|38
|{{w|Phil Bryant}}
|Governor of Mississippi
|
|-
|39
|{{w|Asa Hutchinson}}
|Governor of Arkansas
|
|-
|40
|{{w|Jeff Colyer}}
|Governor of Kansas
|
|-
|41
|{{w|Gary Herbert}}
|Governor of Utah
|
|-
|42
|{{w|Brian Sandoval}}
|Governor of Nevada
|
|-
|43
|{{w|Susana Martinez}}
|Governor of New Mexico
|
|-
|44
|{{w|Jim Justice}}
|Governor of West Virginia
|
|-
|45
|{{w|Pete Ricketts}}
|Governor of Nebraska
|
|-
|46
|{{w|Butch Otter}}
|Governor of Idaho
|
|-
|47
|{{w|David Ige}}
|Governor of Hawaii
|
|-
|48
|{{w|Paul LePage}}
|Governor of Maine
|
|-
|49
|{{w|Chris Sununu}}
|Governor of New Hampshire
|
|-
|50
|{{w|Gina Raimondo}}
|Governor of Rhode Island
|
|-
|51
|{{w|Steve Bullock (American politician)|Steve Bullock}}
|Governor of Montana
|
|-
|52
|{{w|John Carney (politician)|John Carney}}
|Governor of Delaware
|
|-
|53
|{{w|Dennis Daugaard}}
|Governor of South Dakota
|
|-
|54
|{{w|Bill Walker (U.S. politician)|Bill Walker}}
|Governor of Alaska
|
|-
|55
|{{w|Doug Burgum}}
|Governor of North Dakota
|
|-
|56
|{{w|Phil Scott (politician)|Phil Scott}}
|Governor of Vermont
|
|-
|57
|{{w|Matt Mead}}
|Governor of Wyoming
|
|-
|58
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}
|Kate MicKinnon
|If she is available. Entries #10 and 11 on Randall's list have no eligible members.
|-
|59
|{{w|Luis Fonsi}}
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017, #2 artist
|Fonsi is the only eligible individual under the Billboard criterion.
|-
|60
|{{w|Peggy Whitson}}
|Astronaut, 665 days in space
|
|-
|61
|{{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}
|Astronaut, 534 days in space
|
|-
|62
|{{w|Scott Kelly}}
|Astronaut, 520 days in space
|
|-
|63
|{{w|Mike Fincke}}
|Astronaut, 382 days in space
|
|-
|64
|{{w|Mike Foale}}
|Astronaut, 374 days in space
|Foale was born in the UK but his mother is an American, and he holds dual citizenship with both countries. It isn't clear legally whether this situation would qualify him as being a "natural-born" citizen as US courts have never definitively ruled on what the term means, so similar to Governor Kate Brown his name is included in the list until further notice.
|-
|65
|{{w|Serena Williams}}
|Serena Williams
|Serena's place on this list assumes that you do not count her withdrawal against Maria Sharapova as a ''loss''; if that counts as a loss, then subsequent entries move up one position (as Sharapova is ineligible).
|-
|66
|{{w|Tom Brady}}
|{{w|National Football League Most Valuable Player Award|NFL MVP}}
|The MVPs of all other listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office.
|-
|67
|{{w|Bill Pullman}}
|Bill Pullman
|None of his children are old enough to become President at this time.
|-
|68
|''TBD''
|Jousting tournament
|Assumes that no eligible member of the British order of succession exists. The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating champions are too young to hold the office.
|}

==Transcript==
: A proposal for a new presidential line of succession
: Current politics aside, most experts agree the existing process is flawed. The Presidential Succession Act of 1947 is probably unconstitutional on several counts, and there are many practical issues with the system as well.
: (For more, see the surprisingly gripping ''Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission'', June 2009.)
: Proposed line of succession:
:# President
:# Vice president
:# Secretary of State
:# Secretary of Defense
:# Secretary of Homeland Security
:# Attorney General
:# Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the president's term and confirmed by the Senate
:# Tom Hanks
:# State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
:# Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
:# Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
:# Kate McKinnon, if available
:# Billboard year-end Hot 100 singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
:# The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
:# Serena Williams (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
:# The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
:# Bull Pullman and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
:# The entire line of succession to the British throne
:# The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
:# All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Politics]]

2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-07T14:18:18Z

162.158.62.207: /* Order of succession */ Hang on, forgot how many days Foale has

{{comic
| number = 2003
| date = June 6, 2018
| title = Presidential Succession
| image = presidential_succession.png
| titletext = Ties are broken by whoever was closest to the surface of Europa when they were born.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DESIGNATED SURVIVOR - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|United States presidential line of succession}} is the order of people who serve as president if the current incumbent president is incapacitated, dies, resigns, or is removed from office.

The {{w|Presidential_Succession_Act#Presidential_Succession_Act_of_1947|Presidential Succession Act of 1947}} was an act by the U.S. Congress that revised the presidential order of succession to its current order. This Act, though never challenged in the courts, may not be constitutional for two reasons. First, it is unclear whether members of Congress can be designated in the line of succession. Secondly, the Act allows for a cabinet officer to be "replaced" as acting President by a new Speaker of the House or a new President Pro Tempore of the Senate.

An additional concern regarding the Act is that after the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, the line of succession list the members of the Cabinet in the order that their department was established with the oldest departments first, irrespective of the Secretary's personal fitness or appropriateness of the office. The Department of Homeland Security is in charge of the security and protection of the United States and its citizens and would probably already be privy to sensitive intelligence and briefings related to national security, but because it is the latest of the Departments to have been established (in 2003), the Secretary of Homeland Security is all the way at the bottom of the current Presidential line of succession at 18th, behind other Secretaries such as that of Agriculture (9th) and Education (16th).

The full text of the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission can be found here: <https://www.brookings.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/06_continuity_of_government.pdf>. A short, readable summary, including the report's recommended new line of succession, is here: <https://www.brookings.edu/research/the-continuity-of-the-presidency-the-second-report-of-the-continuity-of-government-commission/>. The first 6 members of the commission's list are included in the current line of succession, after which they specificy that 5 new people should be appointed specifically for the purpose of succeeding the presidency if needed. Randall's list begins with these 11 people (stuffing all 5 of the new appointees into #7); afterwards, his list continues with more politicians, actors who have played Presidents, athletes, and others.

Randall's list omits the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, as well as many other cabinet positions. He is probably simply following the commission's report in this. But perhaps he does not find those people qualified to become President of the United States, or is concerned about the constitutionality of lawmakers becoming President. However, he does not seem to be concerned about constitutionality, because he included the entire line of succession to the British throne, most of whom do not meet the requirement to be a natural-born citizen of the United States.{{Citation needed}}

Randall's list includes several other people who also might not be eligible to become President either because they are not natural-born U.S. citizens (e.g., as of the time of the comic's publication, {{w|Serena Williams}} had withdrawn from her last match in the {{w|French Open}} to {{w|Maria Sharapova}}, who is Russian) or they are under 35 years of age ({{w|Russell Westbrook}}, the reigning NBA Most Valuable Player at the time of the comic's publication, was only 29 years old). These would mainly be athletes due to the relatively global reach of the four major professional sports leagues in North America and the fact that 35 is quite old for a professional athlete, let alone one who is good enough to win the league MVP. Presumably, those who wouldn't qualify for the office of President would be skipped over like in real life -- at the comic's publication, {{w|Elaine Chao}} was the Secretary of Transportation and would normally be 14th in line, but because she is a naturalized citizen of the US (she was born in Taiwan) she would not qualify for the office if the line came to her.

This is another comic in the continuing line of comics about American politics, especially after the election of Donald Trump as President in 2016.

==Order of succession==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!#
!Randall's order
!Current order by the 1947 Act
!Notes
|-
|1
|President
|President
|Not generally considered part of the line of succession, as incumbents cannot "succeed" to their own post. (This should really be item 0 on the list.)
|-
|2
|Vice president
|Vice president
|No change
|-
|3
|Secretary of State
|Speaker of the House of Representatives
|Moved up from 5th position. This is likely a serious suggestion. Existing rules of succession hand Executive power to the leaders of the Legislative branch if the President and Vice-President are both killed or removed from power. This is troubling for a number of reasons. One is that the Executive and Legislative branches are supposed to act as independent checks on one another's power, and so are supposed to be kept separate. Another issue is that the Executive and Legislative branches are frequently controlled by political rivals from different political parties. In such a case, assassins could effectively reverse the results of Presidential elections if they managed to kill the President and Vice-President in a short period of time (which is used as part of the twist ending in {{w|White House Down}}). Additionally, leaders of the House and Senate aren't as deeply connected to the military and diplomatic missions of the country, and so would have a hard time maintaining continuity, particularly if an attack or disaster killed multiple national leaders at once. These problems could all be addressed by keeping the initial Line of Succession confined to the Executive branch of government.
|-
|4
|Secretary of Defense
|President pro tempore of the Senate
|Moved up from 7th position
|-
|5
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|Secretary of State
|Moved up from 19th position, possibly to highlight the Attorney General's place in the current order
|-
|6
|Attorney General
|Secretary of the Treasury
|Moved up from 8th position
|-
|7
|Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the President's term and confirmed by the Senate
|Secretary of Defense
|{{w|Washington, D.C.}} is the capital of the United States, and is where the {{w|White House}}, the President's residence, is located. Presumably this provision covers the case where much of the government, including positions 1–6 here, are killed by a natural disaster or attack in Washington, D.C.

This suggestion establishes no qualifications for these people, but the fact that they'd need to be confirmed by the Senate suggests that they would be chosen to be competent for the role. It is also unclear if an order is determined among these five or if they take up a joint presidency. This suggestion is taken from the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission as a potential mechanism to ensure members of succession are not in Washington DC during a catastrophic attack.
|-
|8
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Attorney General
|Academy Award-winning American actor. This is the first unambiguously unserious suggestion.{{Citation needed}} Tom Hanks is very popular and considered exceptionally likeable by many Americans, but has never served in public office or displayed any particular affinity for politics. The implication is that Mr. Hanks would be easily accepted as a leader, based solely on his personal charm.
|-
|9
|State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
|Secretary of the Interior
|Also taken from Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission. At the time of publication, the last {{w|United States Census}} was the 2010 Census. As California is the most populous state, Gov {{w|Jerry Brown}} would be first in line.

See also the {{w|2010_United_States_Census#State_rankings|state population rankings}} and the {{w|list of current United States governors}}. As worded, this criterion would exclude territorial governors (and the Mayor of Washington, D.C.).
|-
|10
|Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
|Secretary of Agriculture
|Oscars, or {{w|Academy Awards}}, are annual film awards awarded by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. At the time of publication, the only Oscar awarded for playing a governor was {{w|Broderick Crawford}}'s 1949 Best Actor award for the fictional Willie Stark in ''{{w|All the King's Men (1949 film)|All the King's Men}}'' (a character based on {{w|Huey Long}}). However, Crawford died in 1986, so would be unable to serve as President.

May be a reference to the {{w|Political career of Arnold Schwarzenegger}}: a highly-lauded actor who became governor of California, but did not win an Oscar or play a governor before being elected. (As a naturalized citizen, he is also ineligible for the Presidency.)
|-
|11
|Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
|Secretary of Commerce
|The {{w|Governors Awards}} are an annual award ceremony hosted by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to present lifetime achievement awards within the film industry. As this award is a lifetime achievement award, it does not seem possible that an actor could win this award for simply playing someone named Oscar. Notwithstanding the nature of the award, at the time of publication, no recipient of a Governors Award has played a character named Oscar.

Obviously, the joke is that changing the order of the words from the previous proposal produces something that could actually exist.
|-
|12
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}, if available
|Secretary of Labor
|Comedic actress famous for being a cast member on {{w|Saturday Night Live}}. She is known for her character work and celebrity impressions. She has recently done impersonations of members of the Trump administration including Spokeswoman {{w|Kellyanne Conway}} and Attorney General {{w|Jeff Sessions}}. She also played {{w|Hillary Clinton}} during the 2016 campaign and presumably would have played her when she was President had she won; but since Clinton lost, McKinnon has not actually played a President.
|-
|13
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
|Secretary of Health and Human Services
|The {{w|Billboard Hot 100}} is the music industry standard record chart in the United States for singles, published weekly by Billboard magazine. The weekly data is aggregated into a cumulative {{w|Billboard Year-End}} (based on a "year" that ends the third week of November, in order to meet December publication deadlines). At the time of publication, the most recent such list was the {{w|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017}}.

Based on that list, the artists considered for the presidential succession would be: {{w|Ed Sheeran}}, {{w|Luis Fonsi}}, {{w|Bruno Mars}}, {{w|Kendrick Lamar}}, Alex Pall (of {{w|The Chainsmokers}}), {{w|Quavo|Quavoius Keyate Marshall}} (of {{w|Migos}}), {{w|Sam Hunt}}, {{w|Dan Reynolds}} (of {{w|Imagine Dragons}}), and {{w|Post Malone}}. There are only nine names instead of ten because The Chainsmokers had two of the top 10 singles in 2017. Of these, only Luis Fonsi (40 years old, born in Puerto Rico) is legally eligible for the office; Sheeran is from the UK, and the other seven are too young.
|-
|14
|The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
|Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
|Astronauts are highly respected and rigorously selected, but most have little involvement in politics. According to [https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders NASA], the top 5 US astronauts by cumulative space time are: {{w|Peggy Whitson}}, {{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}, {{W|Scott Kelly (astronaut)|Scott Kelly}}, {{w|Mike Fincke}}, and {{w|Mike Foale}}. However, it isn't clear whether Foale would qualify as a natural-born citizen as he was born in the UK and his father is British but his mother is American.
|-
|15
|{{w|Serena Williams}} (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
|Secretary of Transportation
|As of the time of publication, Serena Williams was the top female tennis player (though not the world #1 ranking, because she took time off for pregnancy). She is arguably the greatest female tennis player of all-time, winning 39 {{w|Grand Slam (tennis)|Grand Slam}} titles, including 23 women's singles titles. At the time of publication Serena Williams did win her most recent match (2018 French Open, third round, on June 2nd), although she withdrew from her next match against Maria Sharapova (which perhaps should count as a loss, especially if she withdrew in order to preserve her place in the line of succession and led the terrorist attack that killed everybody in place ahead of her).

If her most recent defeat was to a non-US player, presumably she would be skipped over in line although this is not explicitly stated (the current succession list skips over anyone who would not normally qualify for not being a natural-born US citizen).
|-
|16
|The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
|Secretary of Energy
|MVP stands for {{w|Most Valuable Player}}. The 4 listed leagues are the major sports leagues in the United States, the {{w|National Basketball Association}} (NBA), the {{w|National Football League}} (NFL), {{w|Major League Baseball}} (MLB), and the {{w|National Hockey League}} (NHL).

As of the time of publication, the most recent MVPs for the listed sports were {{w|Russell Westbrook}} (NBA), {{w|Tom Brady}} (NFL), {{w|José Altuve}} and {{w|Giancarlo Stanton}} (MLB has two, one for the American League and one for the National League), and {{w|Connor McDavid}} (NHL). Of these, only Brady would qualify for the list - Altuve and McDavid are not US citizens (the former is from Venezuela and the latter from Canada), and Westbrook (29) and Stanton (28) are too young.
|-
|17
|{{w|Bill Pullman}} and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
|Secretary of Education
|American actor, known for playing President Thomas J. Whitmore in the 1996 film ''{{w|Independence Day (1996 film)|Independence Day}}''.

Absolute primogeniture is a form of succession where the oldest direct descendant regardless of gender receives the title. This is contrasted to {{w|Male-preference primogeniture}}, in which males come before females in the order of the throne, whether the males were born first or not. This may be a reference to the British law {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013}}, which changed the order of the throne from male-preference primogeniture to absolute primogeniture. This act allows {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} to retain her place in line before {{w|Prince Louis of Cambridge|Prince Louis}}.

As of the present, Pullman's immediate descendants consist of three children, with Maesa Pullman being the oldest at age 29, so all are currently too young for the presidency.
|-
|18
|The entire line of succession to the British throne
|Secretary of Veterans Affairs
|According to the Constitution, only a natural-born citizen of the United States can become President, which means that at least most of the line of succession to the British throne is ineligible. However, it is possible that someone in the line of succession to the British throne either is a dual citizen (especially one who is a U.S. citizen based on place of birth and a British citizen based on having a parent who was a British citizen descended from {{w|Sophia of Hanover}}) or is not British (a person from outside of Britain can become King; for example, some, including George I, were from what is now Germany).

The first 57 names on the list are {{w|Succession_to_the_British_throne#Current_line_of_succession|here}}, as of the time of publication. [https://lineofsuccession.co.uk/?date=2018-06-06 British Line of Succession on 6 June 2018] shows the list as it was at the comic's publication. American citizens [http://articles.latimes.com/1988-02-11/news/vw-42233_1_royal-house have, at times] been on the list, but no natural-born Americans are currently in the top 100. In theory, however, the full British succession list includes several thousand people (living descendants of {{w|Sophia of Hanover}} who are not Roman Catholic or otherwise disqualified), and it is possible that one or more such people would also be eligible to be President of the United States.

The humor here derives from the fact that the United States was established by declaring independence from the United Kingdom, with rejection of the British monarchy being a basic founding principle, and a core principle of US governance. To appoint the British monarchy to the American presidency would contradict the basic goals of American independence. Alternatively, it may reference the recent wedding of {{w|Prince Harry}} to {{w|Meghan Markle}}, although she is not in the order of succession to the British throne (and she is planning to give up her U.S. citizenship in favour of British citizenship, so her children (who would come immediately after Harry in the British line of succession) would not be born U.S. citizens either). A similar sequence of events was the plotline of the comedy film ''{{w|King Ralph}}'', which saw an American become the British monarch after the death of the royal family.
|-
|19
|The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|The {{w|Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest}} is an annual American hot dog competitive eating competition sponsored by {{w|Nathan's Famous}} held on July 4th. As of the time of publication, the most recent men's winner is {{w|Joey Chestnut}} and the women's winner is {{w|Miki Sudo}}. Neither is currently old enough to assume the office.
|-
|20
|All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament
|''None''
|Effective for a population up to 536,870,912 individuals (2^29) which would be enough to cover the entire US population (estimated at around 325 million at time of publication), although additional rounds can be added should the population grow further.

This is probably a reference to the {{w|Matter of Britain}} (e.g., {{w|The Sword in the Stone (film)|The Sword in the Stone}}), where, after the death of Uther Pendragon, with no known successor to the throne of England for years, it is decided that the winner of a jousting tournament shall be crowned. However, Arthur, the Wart, pulls the Sword from the Stone.
|}

The title text mentions whoever was closest to the surface of {{w|Europa}} when they were born. Europa is a moon of Jupiter, so most people would be very far from its surface when they were born. However, depending on the relative positions of Earth and Jupiter when you were born, you could easily have been tens of millions of kilometers closer. Alternatively, Randall could be playing on how Europa sounds like Europe.

===List of specific individuals===
Based on the comic's defined criteria for the order of succession, these are the specific individuals in that order, as of the date the comic was published:
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!Order
!Name
!Reason
!Notes
|-
|1
|{{w|Donald Trump}}
|{{w|President of the United States}}
|
|-
|2
|{{w|Mike Pence}}
|{{w|Vice President of the United States}}
|
|-
|3
|{{w|Mike Pompeo}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of State}}
|
|-
|4
|{{w|Jim Mattis}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Defense}}
|
|-
|5
|{{w|Kirstjen Nielsen}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Homeland Security}}
|
|-
|6
|{{w|Jeff Sessions}}
|{{w|United States Attorney General}}
|
|-
|7
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Tom Hanks
|As Donald Trump did not appoint anyone to fill position #7 on Randall's line of succession, Hanks immediately follows after Sessions.
|-
|8
|{{w|Jerry Brown}}
|Governor of California
|
|-
|9
|{{w|Greg Abbott}}
|Governor of Texas
|
|-
|10
|{{w|Andrew Cuomo}}
|Governor of New York
|
|-
|11
|{{w|Rick Scott}}
|Governor of Florida
|
|-
|12
|{{w|Bruce Rauner}}
|Governor of Illinois
|
|-
|13
|{{w|Tom Wolf}}
|Governor of Pennsylvania
|
|-
|14
|{{w|John Kasich}}
|Governor of Ohio
|
|-
|15
|{{w|Rick Snyder}}
|Governor of Michigan
|
|-
|16
|{{w|Nathan Deal}}
|Governor of Georgia
|
|-
|17
|{{w|Roy Cooper}}
|Governor of North Carolina
|
|-
|18
|{{w|Phil Murphy}}
|Governor of New Jersey
|
|-
|19
|{{w|Ralph Northam}}
|Governor of Virginia
|
|-
|20
|{{w|Jay Inslee}}
|Governor of Washington
|
|-
|21
|{{w|Charlie Baker}}
|Governor of Massachusetts
|
|-
|22
|{{w|Eric Holcomb}}
|Governor of Indiana
|
|-
|23
|{{w|Doug Ducey}}
|Governor of Arizona
|
|-
|24
|{{w|Bill Haslam}}
|Governor of Tennessee
|
|-
|25
|{{w|Mike Parson}}
|Governor of Missouri
|
|-
|26
|{{w|Larry Hogan}}
|Governor of Maryland
|
|-
|27
|{{w|Scott Walker (politician)|Scott Walker}}
|Governor of Wisconsin
|
|-
|28
|{{w|Mark Dayton}}
|Governor of Minnesota
|
|-
|29
|{{w|John Hickenlooper}}
|Governor of Colorado
|
|-
|30
|{{w|Kay Ivey}}
|Governor of Alabama
|
|-
|31
|{{w|Henry McMaster}}
|Governor of South Carolina
|
|-
|32
|{{w|John Bel Edwards}}
|Governor of Louisiana
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Matt Bevin}}
|Governor of Kentucky
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Kate Brown}}
|Governor of Oregon
|Born in Spain to a member of the US Air Force, should be considered a natural-born citizen until proven otherwise.
|-
|35
|{{w|Mary Fallin}}
|Governor of Oklahoma
|
|-
|36
|{{w|Dannel Malloy}}
|Governor of Connecticut
|
|-
|37
|{{w|Kim Reynolds}}
|Governor of Iowa
|
|-
|38
|{{w|Phil Bryant}}
|Governor of Mississippi
|
|-
|39
|{{w|Asa Hutchinson}}
|Governor of Arkansas
|
|-
|40
|{{w|Jeff Colyer}}
|Governor of Kansas
|
|-
|41
|{{w|Gary Herbert}}
|Governor of Utah
|
|-
|42
|{{w|Brian Sandoval}}
|Governor of Nevada
|
|-
|43
|{{w|Susana Martinez}}
|Governor of New Mexico
|
|-
|44
|{{w|Jim Justice}}
|Governor of West Virginia
|
|-
|45
|{{w|Pete Ricketts}}
|Governor of Nebraska
|
|-
|46
|{{w|Butch Otter}}
|Governor of Idaho
|
|-
|47
|{{w|David Ige}}
|Governor of Hawaii
|
|-
|48
|{{w|Paul LePage}}
|Governor of Maine
|
|-
|49
|{{w|Chris Sununu}}
|Governor of New Hampshire
|
|-
|50
|{{w|Gina Raimondo}}
|Governor of Rhode Island
|
|-
|51
|{{w|Steve Bullock (American politician)|Steve Bullock}}
|Governor of Montana
|
|-
|52
|{{w|John Carney (politician)|John Carney}}
|Governor of Delaware
|
|-
|53
|{{w|Dennis Daugaard}}
|Governor of South Dakota
|
|-
|54
|{{w|Bill Walker (U.S. politician)|Bill Walker}}
|Governor of Alaska
|
|-
|55
|{{w|Doug Burgum}}
|Governor of North Dakota
|
|-
|56
|{{w|Phil Scott (politician)|Phil Scott}}
|Governor of Vermont
|
|-
|57
|{{w|Matt Mead}}
|Governor of Wyoming
|
|-
|58
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}
|Kate MicKinnon
|If she is available. Entries #10 and 11 on Randall's list have no eligible members.
|-
|59
|{{w|Luis Fonsi}}
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017, #2 artist
|Fonsi is the only eligible individual under the Billboard criterion.
|-
|60
|{{w|Peggy Whitson}}
|Astronaut, 665 days in space
|
|-
|61
|{{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}
|Astronaut, 534 days in space
|
|-
|62
|{{w|Scott Kelly}}
|Astronaut, 520 days in space
|
|-
|63
|{{w|Mike Fincke}}
|Astronaut, 382 days in space
|
|-
|64
|{{w|Mike Foale}}
|Astronaut, X days in space
|Foale was born in the UK but his mother is an American, and he holds dual citizenship with both countries. It isn't clear legally whether this situation would qualify him as being a "natural-born" citizen as US courts have never definitively ruled on what the term means, so similar to Governor Kate Brown his name is included in the list until further notice.
|-
|65
|{{w|Serena Williams}}
|Serena Williams
|Serena's place on this list assumes that you do not count her withdrawal against Maria Sharapova as a ''loss''; if that counts as a loss, then subsequent entries move up one position (as Sharapova is ineligible).
|-
|66
|{{w|Tom Brady}}
|{{w|National Football League Most Valuable Player Award|NFL MVP}}
|The MVPs of all other listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office.
|-
|67
|{{w|Bill Pullman}}
|Bill Pullman
|None of his children are old enough to become President at this time.
|-
|68
|''TBD''
|Jousting tournament
|Assumes that no eligible member of the British order of succession exists. The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating champions are too young to hold the office.
|}

==Transcript==
: A proposal for a new presidential line of succession
: Current politics aside, most experts agree the existing process is flawed. The Presidential Succession Act of 1947 is probably unconstitutional on several counts, and there are many practical issues with the system as well.
: (For more, see the surprisingly gripping ''Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission'', June 2009.)
: Proposed line of succession:
:# President
:# Vice president
:# Secretary of State
:# Secretary of Defense
:# Secretary of Homeland Security
:# Attorney General
:# Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the president's term and confirmed by the Senate
:# Tom Hanks
:# State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
:# Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
:# Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
:# Kate McKinnon, if available
:# Billboard year-end Hot 100 singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
:# The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
:# Serena Williams (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
:# The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
:# Bull Pullman and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
:# The entire line of succession to the British throne
:# The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
:# All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Politics]]

Talk:2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-07T14:04:50Z

162.158.62.207:

Talk:2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-07T13:31:47Z

162.158.62.207:

Aw, but what about Morgan Freeman? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.11|108.162.221.11]] 04:43, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:And Kiefer -designated survivor- Sutherland?[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.83|141.101.104.83]] 08:24, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Morgan Freeman> "I do solemnly swear / that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States..." [[User:Linker|Linker]] ([[User talk:Linker|talk]]) 12:39, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Academy awards have been won by actors playing kings / queens - of England, the United Kingdom and Siam - Princes - of Denmark - and Prime Ministers of Great Britain and even the President of the Uniter States / Member of the house of Representatives, but I do not believe it has been won by an actor playing a state govenor. Mind you it is not clear if an actor playing a prison govenor, would count. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 11:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
: Broderick Crawford, actually. I've added him. To the best of my ability to determine, the opposite group (Governors Award recipients who have played characters named Oscar) appears to be an empty set. I'll note that I don't have a really comprehensive filmography for {{w|Jean-Claude Carrière}}, but I consider it fairly unlikely that he ever played a character by that name. [[User:Squeamish Ossifrage|Squeamish Ossifrage]] ([[User talk:Squeamish Ossifrage|talk]]) 16:08, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Bill Pullman's eldest daughter Maesa is a film composer with an IMDB page in her own right. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 11:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Top 5 US astronauts? I only count three. Who are the other two? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.150.76|172.68.150.76]] 12:15, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

As of September 3, 2017, the 5 US astronauts with the most total time in space are Peggy Whitson (665 days), Jeff Williams (534), Scott Kelly (520), Mike Fincke (382), and Mike Foale (374), according to https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders. Michael Lopez-Alegria has the second-most time in space for a single spaceflight (215 days, compared to Scott Kelly, 340). [[User:The Dining Logician|The Dining Logician]] ([[User talk:The Dining Logician|talk]]) 12:59, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Mike Foale was born in Louth - so ineligible. Michael Lopez-Alegria was born in Spain ditto [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 15:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Foale was born to an American mother and should hence be a natural-born American. --[[User:Ycthiognass|Ycthiognass]] ([[User talk:Ycthiognass|talk]]) 09:40, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

The non-US-citizen-being-in-line-for-the-Presidency thing has already been cleared up IRL - several Presidential cabinets have had non-natural-born-US citizens on them (current Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao was born in Taiwan; in the past Madeline Albright was born in the then-Czechoslovakia). All the serious succession lists I've ever seen just list them and skip over them. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 13:19, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

How do we decide who gets a bye in the jousting tournament? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.147|162.158.74.147]] 13:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Random draw, probably. There's no jousting rankings AFAIK to enable any kind of seeding like in tennis. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 15:16, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Anyone with a jousting ranking would not need a bye. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 15:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Anyone else think it's interesting that Kate gets a "if available" but Tom Hanks doesn't? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.184|172.69.62.184]] 16:23, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
: Also, why doesn't Tom Hanks kids get to be in line, like Bill Pulman's? Colin Hanks is old enough. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.210|162.158.122.210]] 03:59, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I assume, but am too lazy to do all the maths, that the person born closest to Europa would be the one closest in time to the point Sun Earth and Jupiter are in line.
I found a table of opposition distances here: http://www.ianridpath.com/jupiter.htm
[[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 18:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

All of this talk about ''where'' people were born is very misleading. The general opinion is that you have to have been a citizen from birth, not born in the U.S. (or a U.S. territory or whatever). Ted Cruz was born in Canada, but he would have been eligible had he won the nomination and the election. See http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2015/mar/26/ted-cruz-born-canada-eligible-run-president-update/ for discussion. —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 20:56, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
*Yes, Kate Brown (governor of Oregon) should be restored to Randall's line of succession, because she was born in Spain while her father was serving in the U.S. Air Force. Presumably she's a U.S. citizen by birth and thus eligible for the presidency. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.150.52|172.68.150.52]] 22:44, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
** Added her. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_foreign-born_United_States_politicians#Governors This page says she's a natural-born citizen]. --[[User:Ycthiognass|Ycthiognass]] ([[User talk:Ycthiognass|talk]]) 08:49, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I read #7 being that we would have 5 people as co-president. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.210|162.158.122.210]] 03:59, 7 June 2018 (UTC)
:Would that also hold for other entries where multiple people are listed (e.g., multiple league MVPs meet the criteria)? Also, there is the "ties broken by born closest to Europa" title text. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 13:31, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

For the 'List of Specific Individuals', should it be maintained by who currently holds those positions, or left as who held them when the comic was posted? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.70.71|172.69.70.71]] 12:14, 7 June 2018 (UTC)
:If you want to come back and update the line as things change in the weeks, months, and years ahead, you're welcome to do so. If you do, I would recommend that both lists (the one accurate as of comic publishing and the one "updated") be maintained, perhaps as one table for fun comparison (adding blank spots as necessary if a current spot falls out of eligibility or a new one becomes eligible for whatever reason. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 13:29, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

Talk:2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-07T13:29:47Z

162.158.62.207:

Aw, but what about Morgan Freeman? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.11|108.162.221.11]] 04:43, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:And Kiefer -designated survivor- Sutherland?[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.83|141.101.104.83]] 08:24, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Morgan Freeman> "I do solemnly swear / that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States..." [[User:Linker|Linker]] ([[User talk:Linker|talk]]) 12:39, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Academy awards have been won by actors playing kings / queens - of England, the United Kingdom and Siam - Princes - of Denmark - and Prime Ministers of Great Britain and even the President of the Uniter States / Member of the house of Representatives, but I do not believe it has been won by an actor playing a state govenor. Mind you it is not clear if an actor playing a prison govenor, would count. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 11:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
: Broderick Crawford, actually. I've added him. To the best of my ability to determine, the opposite group (Governors Award recipients who have played characters named Oscar) appears to be an empty set. I'll note that I don't have a really comprehensive filmography for {{w|Jean-Claude Carrière}}, but I consider it fairly unlikely that he ever played a character by that name. [[User:Squeamish Ossifrage|Squeamish Ossifrage]] ([[User talk:Squeamish Ossifrage|talk]]) 16:08, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Bill Pullman's eldest daughter Maesa is a film composer with an IMDB page in her own right. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 11:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Top 5 US astronauts? I only count three. Who are the other two? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.150.76|172.68.150.76]] 12:15, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

As of September 3, 2017, the 5 US astronauts with the most total time in space are Peggy Whitson (665 days), Jeff Williams (534), Scott Kelly (520), Mike Fincke (382), and Mike Foale (374), according to https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders. Michael Lopez-Alegria has the second-most time in space for a single spaceflight (215 days, compared to Scott Kelly, 340). [[User:The Dining Logician|The Dining Logician]] ([[User talk:The Dining Logician|talk]]) 12:59, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Mike Foale was born in Louth - so ineligible. Michael Lopez-Alegria was born in Spain ditto [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 15:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Foale was born to an American mother and should hence be a natural-born American. --[[User:Ycthiognass|Ycthiognass]] ([[User talk:Ycthiognass|talk]]) 09:40, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

The non-US-citizen-being-in-line-for-the-Presidency thing has already been cleared up IRL - several Presidential cabinets have had non-natural-born-US citizens on them (current Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao was born in Taiwan; in the past Madeline Albright was born in the then-Czechoslovakia). All the serious succession lists I've ever seen just list them and skip over them. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 13:19, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

How do we decide who gets a bye in the jousting tournament? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.147|162.158.74.147]] 13:30, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
:Random draw, probably. There's no jousting rankings AFAIK to enable any kind of seeding like in tennis. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 15:16, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Anyone with a jousting ranking would not need a bye. [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 15:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

Anyone else think it's interesting that Kate gets a "if available" but Tom Hanks doesn't? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.184|172.69.62.184]] 16:23, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
: Also, why doesn't Tom Hanks kids get to be in line, like Bill Pulman's? Colin Hanks is old enough. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.210|162.158.122.210]] 03:59, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I assume, but am too lazy to do all the maths, that the person born closest to Europa would be the one closest in time to the point Sun Earth and Jupiter are in line.
I found a table of opposition distances here: http://www.ianridpath.com/jupiter.htm
[[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]]) 18:26, 6 June 2018 (UTC)

All of this talk about ''where'' people were born is very misleading. The general opinion is that you have to have been a citizen from birth, not born in the U.S. (or a U.S. territory or whatever). Ted Cruz was born in Canada, but he would have been eligible had he won the nomination and the election. See http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2015/mar/26/ted-cruz-born-canada-eligible-run-president-update/ for discussion. —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 20:56, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
*Yes, Kate Brown (governor of Oregon) should be restored to Randall's line of succession, because she was born in Spain while her father was serving in the U.S. Air Force. Presumably she's a U.S. citizen by birth and thus eligible for the presidency. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.150.52|172.68.150.52]] 22:44, 6 June 2018 (UTC)
** Added her. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_foreign-born_United_States_politicians#Governors This page says she's a natural-born citizen]. --[[User:Ycthiognass|Ycthiognass]] ([[User talk:Ycthiognass|talk]]) 08:49, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I read #7 being that we would have 5 people as co-president. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.210|162.158.122.210]] 03:59, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

For the 'List of Specific Individuals', should it be maintained by who currently holds those positions, or left as who held them when the comic was posted? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.70.71|172.69.70.71]] 12:14, 7 June 2018 (UTC)
:If you want to come back and update the line as things change in the weeks, months, and years ahead, you're welcome to do so. If you do, I would recommend that both lists (the one accurate as of comic publishing and the one "updated") be maintained, perhaps as one table for fun comparison (adding blank spots as necessary if a current spot falls out of eligibility or a new one becomes eligible for whatever reason. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.207|162.158.62.207]] 13:29, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

1767: US State Names

2018-06-05T19:46:01Z

162.158.62.207: /* Table of States */

{{comic
| number = 1767
| date = December 2, 2016
| title = US State Names
| image = us_state_names.png
| titletext = Technically DC isn't a state, but no one is too pedantic about it because they don't want to disturb the snakes.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] has taken a {{w|map}} of {{w|the United States of America}} labeled "Geography Challenge: Name all 50 States" and filled in the states with words that sound similar to the states' names. The joke is that Randall is apparently terrible at remembering states by heart, or else that he interpreted "name" as "give a name to" and is giving each state a name similar to but different from its previous name. A similar joke is also seen in [[1554: Spice Girls]]. Songs such as the [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=fifty+nifty+united+states+song 50 Nifty United States] make these issues seem rarer, thus making it funnier. Below is the table.

This also may be a play on the ambiguity of the phrase "Name all 50 states". When you are asked to "name" something, it can be a request to supply its given name or to come up with a new name for it. Randall has apparently taken the latter interpretation. He also may be playing with the distinction between an object's identity and its label, e.g., "The state of Texas (identity) is named Hexxus (label)", though you can argue that "Texas" is also a label.

This comic is similar to [[1759: British Map]]. Also note that the text at the top of the comic is not in all caps.

===Table of States===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Fictional State
! Actual State
! Explanation
|-
| Wilwheaton
| {{w|Washington_State|Washington}}
| {{w|Wil Wheaton}} is an actor and writer, famous for his role as {{w|Wesley Crusher}} on {{w|Star Trek}}.
|-
| Organs
| {{w|Oregon}}
| Could refer to either {{w|Organ (anatomy)|body parts}} that perform vital functions, or large {{w|Organ (music)|musical instruments}} having rows of tuned pipes. Also a possible reference to {{w|Organ Trail}}, a retro survival video game that parodies {{w|The Oregon Trail (video game)|The Oregon Trail}}.
|-
| Cafeteria
| {{w|California}}
| A {{w|cafeteria}} is both a kind of restaurant and a name for a lunch room that serves food. California is large and diverse, offering a wide variety of choices. California also grows a large proportion of common vegetables available in the US ([http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/explainer/2013/07/california_grows_all_of_our_fruits_and_vegetables_what_would_we_eat_without.html Source]), making it a 'Cafeteria' for the country.
|-
| Fallout New Vegas
| {{w|Nevada}}
| {{w|Fallout New Vegas}} is a video game set in post-apocalyptic Nevada.
|-
| Idolatry
| {{w|Idaho}}
| {{w|Idolatry}} is the worship of a physical object as a god, forbidden in the Abrahamic religions.
|-
| mount -a
| {{w|Montana}}
| A command to {{w|Mount (computing)|mount}} all disk volumes in fstab (except for ones with the noauto flag).
|-
| Wysiwyg
| {{w|Wyoming}}
| Acronym for "{{w|WYSIWYG|what you see is what you get}}". A reference to [[Types of Editors]].
|-
| Uhaul
| {{w|Utah}}
| {{w|U-Haul}} is a company that rents moving vans which are frequently decorated with scenes from places that most people have never visited.
|-
| Verizona
| {{w|Arizona}}
| {{w|Verizon}}, a telecommunications company, has the shared text "Rizon" with Arizona (Ve''rizon'', A''rizon''a).
|-
| Namaste
| {{w|New Mexico}}
| {{w|Namaste}} is a Hindu greeting.
|-
| Hexxus
| {{w|Texas}}
| The antagonist of Ferngully. {{w|FernGully:_The_Last_Rainforest|FernGully}} is said to be the model for the later film {{w|Avatar_(2009_film)|Avatar}}. This is the second time Hexxus was mentioned in xkcd, the first occurrence being in [[1750: Life Goals]]. May allude to the Texas oil industry and the state's general reputation for a lack of environmental protection.
|-
| Okay
| {{w|Oklahoma}}
| OK is the {{w|List_of_U.S._state_abbreviations|state's abbreviation}}. Okay is a spelling of another abbreviation O.K., which means "yes" or "good", and has {{w|OK#Proposed etymologies|quite a few possible origins}}.
|-
| Candice
| {{w|Kansas}}
| {{w|Candice}} is an alternate spelling of the girl's name "{{w|Candace_(given name)|Candace}}", which comes from the Latinized version of "{{w|kandake}}," a title used in the {{w|Kingdom of Kush}} (an ancient African monarchy) for a reigning queen, queen consort, or queen mother; possibly used for female members of the royal family in general.
|-
| Colocated
| {{w|Colorado}}
| May refer to computer servers located in a {{w|colocation centre}}, or to {{w|collocation}}, a linguistics term for words or terms that appear together with a frequency greater than chance.
|-
| Nebrunswick
| {{w|Nebraska}}
| {{w|New Brunswick}}, a Canadian province. New Brunswick is abbreviated "NB" in the {{w|Canadian_postal_abbreviations_for_provinces_and_territories|Canadian postal system}}, and "NB" was also as the postal abbreviation for Nebraska until 1969. It was then changed to "NE" specifically to avoid the confusion between the two. Nevertheless, people sometimes still use "NB" to refer to Nebraska.
|-
| Dakota
| {{w|South Dakota}}
| Setting up the joke in North Dakota.
|-
| More Dakota
| {{w|North Dakota}}
| Might be a reference to [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/more-dakka "More Dakka"], a catchphrase by Orks from the {{w|Warhammer_40,000|Warhammer 40000}} universe which is also a page on [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoreDakka TVTropes] referring to the large-scale use of ammunition. May also allude to the idea that North Dakota is less visible in popular culture than its Southern neighbor, owing to the fact that the latter contains Mount Rushmore but the former does not have any major landmarks.
|-
| Minestrone
| {{w|Minnesota}}
| {{w|Minestrone}} is a thick vegetable soup, originating in Italy.
|-
| Wainscot
| {{w|Wisconsin}}
| {{w|Panelling#Wainscot_panelling|Wainscot}} is a type of wood {{w|panelling}} covering only the lower half of a wall.
|-
| Iota
| {{w|Iowa}}
| {{w|Iota}} is the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iota ninth letter of the Greek alphabet]. In English, the word [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/iota#English iota] may also mean "an inconsiderable amount".
|-
| Sk8rbois
| {{w|Illinois}}
| "Skater Boys" or just "Skater Boy" if the '-ois' is pronounced the same as it is in "Illinois". {{w|Sk8er Boi}} is a song by {{w|Avril Lavigne}}.
|-
| Mossouri
| {{w|Missouri}}
| The single different letter represents probably a typo (O is adjacent to I in a keyboard). This typo has about 22,000 results on Google. Alternatively, this could be an attempt to "correct" the spelling of the state name to match its non-intuitive {{w|List_of_U.S._state_abbreviations|postal abbreviation}}, MO, which is sometimes used as a pronounceable acronym. Or it could be a reference to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katie_Moussouris Katie Mossouris].
|-
| Arkanoids
| {{w|Arkansas}}
| {{w|Arkanoid}} is an arcade game, developed by Taito in 1986.
|-
| Louisa
| {{w|Louisiana}}
| Louisa, feminine of Louis, is an Old German name meaning "famous warrior". Louisiana was named after King Louis XIV when it was founded as a French colony.
|-
| Misstate
| {{w|Mississippi}}
| The word "misstate" means to state improperly. "Mis-" is also a prefix meaning "wrong," "incorrect," or simply negating. "Misstate" could be a non-state. {{w|Mississipi State University|Miss State}} is a university in Mississippi. This may also be a joke on the fact that Mississippi is one of the most commonly misspelled state names.
|-
| Bandana
| {{w|Alabama}}
| A {{w|Kerchief|bandana}} is a large handkerchief cloth, worn either around the head or neck. Often used in Westerns.
|-
| Thennessy
| {{w|Tennessee}}
| {{w|Hennessy}} is a brand of cognac.
|-
| Kennedy
| {{w|Kentucky}}
| {{w|Kennedy Fried Chicken}} is New York City–based fast food brand that shares its initials with KFC, which was formerly (and still conventionally) Kentucky Fried Chicken. "Kennedy" is also the name of a former US president ({{w|John_F._Kennedy|John}}) and two former US senators ({{w|Robert_F._Kennedy|Robert}} and {{w|Ted_Kennedy|Ted}}).
|-
| That Other One
| {{w|Indiana}}
| 'That Other One' is something someone might say if they were trying to name all the states from memory, and knew where a state was but not what it was called. Appropriate for Indiana, due to being a state with relatively few distinguishing features.
|-
| Mishy
| {{w|Michigan}}
| According to the Urban Dictionary, "mishy" means "[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mishy mushy and horny at the same time]". Or it could just be a nickname, the way a lot of people's names, often children, get shortened with a trailing y (Bobby, Becky, Johnny, Suzy, Davey, Jimmy, etc.).
|-
| Oh Hi
| {{w|Ohio}}
| Oh (expression of surprise), Hi (greeting). A common utterance upon meeting an acquaintance unexpectedly.
|-
| Pencilmania
| {{w|Pennsylvania}}
| [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151935/ Pencil Mania] is a 1932 {{w|Tom and Jerry}} cartoon in which they pull out a pencil and proceed to draw figures in the air. Probably joking about how the first part of Pennsylvania sounds like the word "pencil".
|-
| Newark
| {{w|New York}}
| The city of {{w|Newark,_New_Jersey|Newark}} is a suburb of New York City, and many people who live in Newark commute the 14 miles to work in New York City, however it is actually located in the state of New Jersey rather than New York. Other references: {{w|Newark_Liberty_International_Airport|Newark Liberty International Airport}} is a major flight hub serving the New York metropolitan area, the village of Newark, New York (near Lake Ontario), and {{w|Newark_element14|Newark element14}} (or simply "Newark"), the official distributor of Raspberry Pi. Possible reference to William Gibson's works. A mispronunciation of New York.
|-
| Vermouth
| {{w|Vermont}}
| {{w|Vermouth}} is an Italian alcoholic beverage.
|-
| New Hamper
| {{w|New Hampshire}}
| A {{w|hamper}} is a large basket, often with lid, used for laundry. Also another name for a picnic basket.
|-
| Spanish Maine
| {{w|Maine}}
| The {{w|Spanish Main}} was the mainland Spanish colonial possessions around the Gulf of Mexico. Also refers to the surrounding sea, as in the opening of the (children's?) song, "Sailing, sailing, over the bounding main, ...". May also refer to the {{w|USS Maine (ACR-1)}}, which, upon sinking, started the Spanish-American war.
|-
| Masseuses
| {{w|Massachusetts}}
| Women who give {{w|massage}}s professionally. A contentious term in the therapeutic massage industry due to its appropriation by prostitutes. Randall might be making fun about how difficult he thinks it is to spell Massachusetts.
|-
| Roald Dahl
| {{w|Rhode Island}}
| A {{w|Roald Dahl|British writer}}, famous for child novels such as {{w|Charlie and the Chocolate Factory}}. This name does not actually rhyme well with Rhode Island. Dahl used the Norwegian pronunciation of his name (roo-ahl dahl, rather than ro-ahld dahl), as he had Norwegian parents. Because of how the pronunciation of the name has not been wildly known by readers, Randall may not have been aware of this.
|-
| Connectfour
| {{w|Connecticut}}
| {{w|Connect Four}} is a two-player game, in which the objective is to connect four of your checkers in a row while preventing your opponent from doing the same. It has already been mentioned in [[1002: Game AIs]].
|-
| Nude Juggalos
| {{w|New Jersey}}
| {{w|Juggalo}} is a name given to fans of the group Insane Clown Posse or any other Psychopathic Records hip hop group. Also shares the same initials as New Jersey.
|-
| Delorean
| {{w|Delaware}}
| The {{w|DeLorean_DMC-12|DeLorean DMC-12}} is a car, made famous as the {{w|DeLorean_time_machine|time machine}} in the {{w|Back to the Future}} movies.
|-
| Maybelline
| {{w|Maryland}}
| {{w|Maybelline}} is a make-up brand.
|-
| District of Colubrids
| {{w|District of Columbia}}
| The {{w|Colubridae}} are the biggest family of snakes, accounting for about two thirds of the world's species. As the title text mentions, the District of Columbia, although not part of any state, is technically not a state itself, but is usually labeled on the maps like the 50 others for practical reasons. Here, Randall humorously explains the reason as people not wanting to upset the aforementioned snakes by dismissing their district for this pedantic reason.
|-
| Wyvern
| {{w|West Virginia}}
| A {{w|Wyvern}} is a mythical creature.
|-
| Virjayjay
| {{w|Virginia}}
| Virginia is similar to {{w|vagina}}. Vajayjay is slang for vagina.
|-
| Sweet Caroline
| {{w|North Carolina}}
| A {{w|Sweet_Caroline|song}} by Neil Diamond.
|-
| South Caroline
| {{w|South Carolina}}
| A further reference to {{w|Sweet_Caroline|song 'Sweet Caroline'}} by Neil Diamond, similar to 'Dakota' and 'More Dakota.' Plays on similarity between the names 'Caroline' and 'Carolina'.
|-
| George
| {{w|Georgia}}
| Georgia was named for {{w|George II of Great Britain}}.
|-
| Fyoridor
| {{w|Florida}}
| Possibly derived from the Russian name Fyodor, as in {{w|Fyodor Dostoyevsky}}.
|-
| Alberta
| {{w|Alaska}}
| {{w|Alberta}} is a Canadian province.
|-
| Kawaii
| {{w|Hawaii}}
| A {{w|Kawaii|Japanese term}} for cute, commonly romanized similar to Hawaii. Not to be confused with {{w|Kauai}}, a Hawaiian island.
|}

==Transcript==

[A map of the United States, with incorrect state names in red text color. A title:]

Geography challenge:

'''Name all 50 states'''

| Alabama => Bandana |

| Alaska => Alberta |

| Arizona => Verizona |

| Arkansas => Arkanoids |

| California => Cafeteria |

| Colorado => Colocated |

| Connecticut => Connect Four |

| Delaware => Delorean |

| District of Columbia => District of Colubrids |

| Florida => Fyoridor |

| Georgia => George |

| Hawaii => Kawaii |

| Idaho => Idolatry |

| Illinois => SK8RBOIS |

| Indiana => That Other One |

| Iowa => Iota |

| Kansas => Candice |

| Kentucky => Kennedy |

| Louisiana => Loisa |

| Maine => Spanish Maine |

| Maryland => Maybelline |

| Massachusetts => Masseuses |

| Michigan => Mishy |

| Minnesota => Minestrone |

| Mississippi => Misstate |

| Missouri => Mossouri |

| Montana => mount -a |

| Nebraska => Nebrunswick |

| Nevada => Fallout New Vegas |

| New Hampshire => New Hamper |

| New Jersey => Nude Juggalos |

| New Mexico => Namaste |

| New York => Newark |

| North Carolina => Sweet Caroline |

| South Carolina => South Caroline |

| Ohio => Oh Hi |

| Oklahoma => Okay |

| Oregon => Organs |

| Pennsylvania => Pencilmania |

| Rhode Island => Roald Dahl |

| South Dakota => Dakota |

| North Dakota => More Dakota |

| Tennessee => Thennessy |

| Texas => Hexxus |

| Utah => Uhaul |

| Vermont => Vermouth |

| Virginia => Virjayjay |

| Washington => Willwheaton |

| West Virginia => Wyvern |

| Wisconsin => Wainscot |

| Wyoming => WYSIWYG |

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:FernGully]] 
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Geography]]
[[Category:Video games]]

1893: Thread

2017-09-22T15:56:58Z

162.158.62.207: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1893
| date = September 22, 2017
| title = Thread
| image = thread.png
| titletext = Since the current Twitter threadfall kicked off in early 2016, we can expect it to continue until the mid 2060s when the next Interval begins.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs more. Do not delete this tag before the explanation is actually complete.}}

F'nor is a character from the popular sci-fi/fantasy series "{{w|Dragonriders of Pern}}," by Anne McCaffrey. He is posting a Twitter comment (a "thread" that's only one comment long, hence "1/1") about "Thread," a massively destructive alien organism from the same series. "Pern" is a fictional human-colonized planet and the main setting of the series.

"Threadfall" is the name for the beginning of 50-year cyclic periods when Thread attacks the world of Pern & its inhabitants, which occur between relatively safe "Intervals" of around 250 years. In the strip's alt text, as Threadfall occurred in 2016, it should be expected to continue for ~50 more years until 2060, when the next Interval will begin.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[A mock-up of a "tweet" from the site twitter.com is shown. It contains a mock-up of a user photo of the fictional character F'nor, including a tiny line sketch of F'nor's brown dragon Canth flying overhead. Below the tweet are several action buttons typical of a twitter post for comments, replying, likes, etc.]

:F'nor
:@fnor
:Thread: The greatest threat to our life on Pern 1/1

{{comic discussion}}

1893: Thread

2017-09-22T15:24:11Z

162.158.62.207: /* Explanation */

1893: Thread

2017-09-22T15:15:48Z

162.158.62.207: /* Explanation */

1811: Best-Tasting Colors

2017-03-16T23:02:17Z

162.158.62.207: /* Table */

{{comic
| number = 1811
| date = March 15, 2017
| title = Best-Tasting Colors
| image = best_tasting_colors.png
| titletext = I recognize that chocolate is its own thing on which reasonable people may differ. Everything else here is objective fact.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Add and fill in a table for the various foods used. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic, [[Randall]] rates colors based on tastiness of various flavors the colors are typically associated with.

In the title text, Randall asserts that his rankings of colors and flavors are indisputable (with the exception of chocolate). This is a jab at the reception of his previous comic [[388: Fuck Grapefruit]], a comic ranking fruits based on their tastiness which Randall claims is the most controversial piece he has ever published.

===Table===

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col"| Color
! scope="col"| Item
! scope="col"| Explanation
! scope="col"| Rating (Approx.)
|-
|Pink
|Cotton Candy
|Randall seems to like cotton candy flavor.
|95%
|-
|Pink
|Watermelon
|
|63%
|-
|Red
|Strawberry
|Strawberry is a popular flavor for many processed candies.
|93%
|-
|Red
|Cherry
|
|86%
|-
|Red
|Raspberry
|
|55%
|-
|Blue
|Blue Raspberry
|
|57%
|-
|Green
|Green Apple
|
|84%
|-
|Green
|Watermelon (Rind?)
|
|60%
|-
|Green
|Mint
|
|38%
|-
|Green
|Lime
|
|31%
|-
|Green
|Pistachio
|
|47% to 70%
|-
|White
|Vanilla
|Randall is likely playing with expectations here. Vanilla and vanilla bean are both black, not white. But vanilla ice cream is white thanks to the cream, milk, and sugar used in its creation. The black is nearly invisible in the ice cream, either as vanilla extract mixed in or as minute flakes of vanilla bean in exceptional vanilla ice creams.
|65%
|-
|White
|White Chocolate
|
|19%
|-
|Brown
|Caramel
|
|19%
|-
|Brown
|Coffee
|While widely enjoyed by many people, coffee is actually a very bitter beverage (or bean, still bitter). Most people add sugars and cream to their coffee (or cover the beans in chocolate) to make it palatable. Clearly Randall does not like black coffee (coffee with no sweeteners or additives)
|5%
|-
|Brown
|Chocolate
|Chocolate is given a very wide range. While widely recognized as a classic candy, containing the chemical {{w|phenylethylamine}} which literally makes the human brain happier, there are also very staunch and not rare people who clearly and adamantly don't like it. There are also many varieties of chocolate with varying degrees of sweetness -- and, not coincidentally, colors to help differentiate them. Randall deems the whole situation too complex to assign to only one data point.
|38% to 86%. (range of text area)
|-
|Orange
|Creamsicle
|
|47%
|-
|Orange
|Orange
|
|25%
|-
|Yellow
|Popcorn?!
|Popcorn is a very popular food item, but not for its flavor. By itself it has nearly no flavor, and the usual toppings of salt and butter are some of the most basic cravings the human tongue asks for.
|5%
|-
|Yellow
|Lemon
|Lemons by themselves have a very strong sour flavor. Many people, apparently including Randall, do not like this taste raw or on its own, though some do. To make lemons appealing to those who don't like very sour things, they are instead added as ingredients in a much larger dish, often with sugar added to balance the sourness.
|27%
|-
|Purple
|Grape
|
|15%
|-
|Black
|Licorice
|Most Americans tend to find licorice a very unpleasant flavor. It would appear that Randall resides within that majority.
|0.1%
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Best-Tasting Colors
:[A scale from "bad" to "good"]
:1. Pink - watermelon, ???, cotton candy
:2. Red - raspberry, cherry, strawberry
:3. Blue - ???, blue raspberry, ???
:4. Green - lime, mint, pistachio??, watermelon, green apple
:5. White - ???, white chocolate, ???, vanilla, ???
:6. Brown - coffee, caramel ? [However you feel about chocolate] ?
:7. Orange - orange, creamsicle
:8. Yellow - popcorn?!, lemon
:9. Purple - grape
:10. Black - licorice

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]

1746: Making Friends

2016-12-21T01:15:30Z

162.158.62.207: Added my theory of what Ponytail meant to a list of other theories of what she might have meant.

{{comic
| number = 1746
| date = October 14, 2016
| title = Making Friends
| image = making_friends.png
| titletext = "This seems more like a way to attract turkey vultures." "My mom always told me a turkey vulture is just a friend you haven't met yet, usually because you don't smell enough like decaying meat."
}}

==Explanation==

{{incomplete|More on real problems with making friends? More on Cueball's crazy plan? Any reference to someone actually capturing vultures like this (maybe even a real animal)?}}

[[Ponytail]] is complaining to [[Cueball]] that it is hard to make new friends once you are out of school. She even has problems just meeting new people, let alone making those new people her friends.

This is a common problem, or maybe rather an advantage of going to school. In school you are forced together with a group of people you have to see everyday and work together with in groups. This is a great catalyst for making new friends. In the early grades the kids haven't had time to form many friendships so they are ready to make new friends, and later in college the young people often move away from their home town, and thus have no friends in their new town, and are again ready to make friends. Later in life it is rare to be put in a similar situation, and the people you do meet might already have several friends; for most people there is usually a rather low limit on how many friends it is possible to keep close. Thus many feel it is hard to make new friends compared to when they went to school.

Cueball has a solution, but it is very weird. He says he pretends to be injured, and then, as if he were a weak animal on the {{w|savanna}}, he expects other people to begin circling around him, not directly to eat him, but to take his ''food, shelter and nutrients''. This is a weird formulation as {{w|nutrients}} is what you get from your food, so either he is referring twice to his food, or he actually refers to his value as nutrient (i.e. food) for another being. Also it is unlikely for a person to steal his shelter, unless this refers to his clothing, as "the shelter" would usually be seen as a normal person's house, which is rather hard to take {{Citation needed}}, especially if the person is renting and it belongs to someone else.

He then talks about these possible future friends as if they will descend on him, making it sound even more like they are birds hanging above him like {{w|vultures}}. But his plan is to start telling these people who are ready to rob him of his life support cool facts about {{w|Outer space|space}} before they get a chance to descend, and then make them like him based on this knowledge. And then before they know what hit them, they are instantly his friends. If this were actually about vultures, his method could be used to trap said vultures, a trick that might be used to try and capture vultures by tricking them to come down in order to eat them yourself (if stuck in a desert, etc).

Cueball seems to think this is a fantastic idea, as shown by his arm gestures. But Ponytail seems to think otherwise. Her comment ''this explains a lot'' is probably a reference to other strange habits of Cueball that she has observed. Or his lack of other friends. Or there was a story about how they met that had confused her until this conversation occurred...

In the title text Ponytail mentions that what Cueball has just described fits well with the behavior of {{w|turkey vultures}} rather than humans. Turkey vultures are a type of bird of prey which feeds on carrion. They are known to identify and circle weak, injured, dead or dying animals so they can eat them (take their nutrients).

As they are animals they would not care about cool facts about space, but Cueball did seem to talk about other humans in the main comic. The title text, however, goes even further out this line and have Cueball cite his mom: "My mom always told me a turkey vulture is just a friend you haven't met yet, usually because you don't smell enough like decaying meat." This is a reference to the old saying: "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet", and the action of the vultures eating dead animals.

Smelling of decaying meat would be likely to attract the vultures but it should be noted that this is likely to drive away most other potential (human) friends, as most people don't like the smell of decaying meat. {{Citation needed}} Also, there is very little reason to believe that you could become friends with vultures , although if you get up and show that you are not really injured, they are likely to give up and fly away rather than attack you.

Vultures hanging in the air over prey that is about to die, was also the subject of [[926: Time Vulture]]. Saying cool things about space, hoping that people like you, was the subject of [[1644: Stargazing]]. The comic [[1485: Friendship]], was not about friendship...

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is walking with Ponytail holding her arms out while talking.]
:Ponytail: Making friends is so much harder once you're out of school.
:Ponytail: Everyone's so busy. And how do you even ''meet'' people?

:[In this frame-less panel Cueball raises his arms in front of his chest while they walk on.]
:Cueball: Here's what I do:
:Cueball: I pretend to be weak and injured, and wait for others to start circling, hoping to take my food, shelter, and nutrients.

:[Cueball stop walking and lifts both arms straight out as Ponytail turns towards him.]
:Cueball: Then, before they can descend, I start telling them cool facts about space until they like me.
:Cueball: ''Bam'', friendship!
:Ponytail: This explains a lot.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Space]]