explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2857: Rebuttals

2023-11-21T13:37:22Z

172.69.194.245: /* Explanation */ "This is not an argument" (yes it is!)

{{comic
| number = 2857
| date = November 20, 2023
| title = Rebuttals
| image = rebuttals_2x.png
| imagesize = 328x437px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The mainstream dogma sparked a wave of dogmatic revisionism, and this revisionist mainstream dogmatism has now given way to a more rematic mainvisionist dogstream.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DOGSTREAM. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic provides a satirical take on the intricate layers of scientific critique and consensus. [[Cueball]] stands as a representative of the scientific community, addressing the audience with a statement that encapsulates the recursive nature of scientific debate. The comic touches on the propensity within the scientific fields to oscillate between embracing new evidence and adhering to established consensus. It reflects on the inclination to reject new findings not because they lack merit, but because they conflict with the prevailing theories that have weathered previous scrutiny and dissent.

The statement begins by acknowledging a shift in attitude, where "conventional wisdom," the accepted understanding within the community, has come under fire. This skepticism towards the status quo is not uncommon in scientific practice, where evidence is continuously scrutinized. However, the comic suggests that the reaction against accepted norms can sometimes lead to the dismissal of new data, not on the basis of its validity, but due to its misalignment with the current consensus. This reveals a tension between the progress of knowledge and the comfort of established belief systems.

Furthermore, the backlash against conventional wisdom is not a straightforward rejection but is layered with its own biases, implying that the dissenters may also fall prey to ignoring contradicting evidence. The comic thus highlights a multi-faceted argument within the scientific community, where there are multiple 'levels' of disagreement and ''rebuttal,'' each building upon the last.

Cueball's statement dissects the nuanced ballet of scientific thought through a sequence of phrases, each peeling back a layer of the academic onion. It starts with a backlash against the prevailing consensus. However, new evidence is being termed "inconvenient", hinting that it ''supports'' the prevailing consensus, even as many researchers are moving away from it. Thus, the researchers opposed to the prevailing consensus are being criticized for seeming to ignore this new evidence. Cueball acknowledges this criticism. But because the quote culminates in a "however", Cueball is presumably about to rebut that meta-consensus, such as by making an argument in defense of the researchers people are claiming are ignoring the new evidence.

Perhaps, further, by declaring that the above became the "conventional wisdom" of how all the perceived to-and-fro came about, he is now about to expound a completely different interpretation of how the current bipartite situation came to be. Or even whether there ''was'' such a compounded disagreement in the first place; e.g. by revealing that all positions taken by all sides are entirely consistent with any selection of source data, but basic misunderstandings of each other side's claims led to arguing at cross-purposes.

The title text serves as an extension of this theme, offering a linguistic maze that mirrors the complexity and sometimes absurdity of academic discourse. It whimsically encapsulates how a challenge to mainstream thought can solidify into its own dogma, necessitating further revisionist waves, in an endless cycle of intellectual evolution and revolution. This self-referential loop wittily underscores {{w|Thomas Kuhn}}'s notion of the '{{w|Structure of Scientific Revolutions}},' suggesting that what is considered revolutionary at one time may become the very dogma that future revolutions seek to overturn. The title text delights in linguistic acrobatics, stringing together a series of portmanteau and near-repetitive phrases that dance on the tongue with the finesse of a verbal gymnast. "Mainstream dogma" suggests widely accepted beliefs, but it swiftly mutates into "dogmatic revisionism," a playful jab at the stubborn insistence on reforming the norm. This revisionism doesn't just adjust the current; it becomes "mainstream dogmatism" in its own right, a new orthodoxy birthed from the rebellion. And then, with a flourish, it yields to an even more whimsically coined "rematic mainvisionist dogstream," a hilarious {{w|spoonerism}} that could leave even the most loquacious academic's head spinning. This nonsensical cascade mocks the sometimes pretentious and convoluted language that can plague scholarly communication, turning serious dialogue into a merry-go-round of terms that are as circular in progression as they are in logic.

{| class="wikitable"
! Title text term
! (Possible) meaning
! Nature of the term
|-
| Mainstream dogma
| The popular and currently unchallenged set of beliefs that comfortably flow with the academic current.
| Real
|-
| Dogmatic revisionism
| The stubborn insistence on changing established views, with a religious zeal for rewriting the scholarly scripture.
| Unlikely combination of real words
|-
| Revisionist mainstream
| Once the avant-garde, now the new normal; the rebel ideas that have become the establishment.
| Unlikely combination of real words
|-
| Dogmatism
| An unshakable adherence to the new creed, now fervently preached as the one true academic gospel.
| Real
|-
| Rematic
| Perhaps related to "remake" or "remix," implying a recycled, refurbished set of ideas in vogue once more.
| Not a real word
|-
| Mainvisionist
| A visionary yet mainstream adherent, with sights set on steering the scholarly ship into familiar waters.
| Not a real word
|-
| Dogstream
| The current of thought that flows doggedly along, resistant to change and comfortably narrow.
| Not a real word
|-
| Mainvisionist dogstream
| The dominant narrative that's been revised so often, it's hard to distinguish from its own parody.
| Not real words
|}

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, hand raised with a finger held up, stands behind a lectern on a high podium speaking into a microphone on the lectern. Behind him is a banner, with four lines of illegible writing above a (blank) picture at the bottom.]
:Cueball: It's become conventional wisdom that the backlash against the prevailing consensus led researchers to ignore inconvenient new evidence. However...

:[Caption below the panel:]
:In a field that's been around for a while, it can be hard to figure out how many levels of rebuttal deep you are.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Public speaking]]

2258: Solar System Changes

2023-11-19T17:08:57Z

172.69.194.245: Undo revision 329311 by 172.70.162.36 (talk) Created more problems than it 'solved', including introducing invalid markup and using en-British instead of accepted en-US spellings...

{{comic
| number = 2258
| date = January 22, 2020
| title = Solar System Changes
| image = solar_system_changes.png
| titletext = "Actually, Jupiter already has a very impressive ring system!" --someone who knows Jupiter is within earshot
}}

==Explanation==
This comic shows a drawing with a standard sketch of the {{w|Solar System}}, featuring the Sun, 8 planets, the asteroid belt, and Pluto. [[Randall]] then proposes eight changes to the solar system that he would make if he had the power to do so. Each change is drawn in red with explanatory labels. Performing these changes would be impossible in practice{{Citation needed}} and would probably make the solar system unstable if actually performed.

This is another [[:Category:Comics with red annotations|comic containing red annotations]] over a complex and established structure.

The title text is being spoken by "someone who knows [that] Jupiter is within earshot," implying that the speaker does not wish to offend Jupiter. While Jupiter {{w|Rings of Jupiter|does have its own ring system}}, it is so faint that it wasn't discovered until 1979. Considering that Jupiter is known to disrupt the asteroid belt and send asteroids towards the inner solar system (cf. {{w|Kirkwood gap}}) and completely destroy other celestial bodies ({{w|Comet Shoemaker–Levy 9}}), someone who is "within earshot" of Jupiter may wish to reassure the planet that they think its ring system is already very impressive when they really don't.

==Table of proposed changes==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Proposed change !! Explanation
|-
| Add mysterious planets inside Mercury's orbit || In the 19th century, scientists found discrepancies between Mercury's predicted orbit and observations. They proposed a hypothetical planet, {{w|Vulcan (hypothetical planet)|Vulcan}}, to account for this discrepancy. After general relativity was discovered by Albert Einstein in the 20th century, it was found to account for these discrepancies.

Planets inside Mercury's orbit would be "mysterious" because they would be difficult to see (due to being above the horizon only during the day and a short period of twilight) or visit (spacecraft traveling inside Mercury's orbit are subject to enormous amounts of sunlight, causing them to overheat). If such planets existed, it's plausible that flybys wouldn't have occurred until very recently.
|-
| After what it's been through, Venus deserves rings and a moon || Billions of years ago, Venus and Earth are believed to have been almost identical objects orbiting the Sun. However, orbiting somewhat closer to the Sun, Venus became sufficiently hot that its oceans evaporated, cloaking the surface with gases that caused the Sun's heat to become trapped. This made the planet even hotter, causing a [[1519|runaway greenhouse effect]], and ultimately Venus became very much hotter than the Earth. In turn, the lack of water caused Venerean plate tectonics to fail, causing Venus to have periodic "resurfacing" events where the entire crust is recycled by volcanism. On top of that, Venus was almost certainly hit by an enormous object, hard enough that its spin was completely reversed. Randall may be saying that Venus has fared so badly throughout its life that it deserves some compensation, like rings or a moon.

Alternatively, Randall could be referring to how we see Venus now as opposed to in the past. A hundred years ago, scientists considered Venus and Mars to be equally likely candidates for life and future human exploration - one being a little warmer than Earth and the other a little colder. However, when we sent spacecraft to Venus and Mars in the 1960s, we quickly discovered that [https://what-if.xkcd.com/30/ Venus is a terrible place]. Its atmosphere is more than 90 times as dense as Earth's and its surface temperature is over 450° C (800° F), not to mention the sulfuric acid rain. Spacecraft that have landed on its surface have lasted a couple hours at most. As a result, missions to Venus have become far rarer since the 1960s, while missions to Mars have remained frequent. Randall might be saying that most people don't consider Venus to be nearly as fascinating place as they used to, and that it would be far more interesting with rings, or at least a moon like Earth or Mars.

In the 17th and 18th centuries, some astronomers (most notably Giovanni Cassini) claimed to have found a {{w|Neith (hypothetical moon)|moon of Venus}}, but that was later determined to be an illusion.

Note that, due to the retrograde spin of Venus, any prograde-orbiting moon would inspiral due to tidal drag (the same effect causing the Moon to slowly move away from the Earth). It is unknown whether Venus used to have moons that were destroyed by this mechanism (possibly passing through a ring state in the process).
|-
| Replace our moon with Mars. Mars is more interesting and we can consolidate missions. || Mars has a lot more geological variety than the Moon, a much faster rotational period, and is much larger and has active weather patterns, and would therefore look far more interesting than the Moon when seen from Earth. In addition, by replacing Earth's current moon with Mars, sending spacecraft to the moon and Mars wouldn't require separate missions and could thus be consolidated into a single one. This would benefit NASA's space exploration efforts, which have suffered from presidents alternating targets for human exploration between "moon-to-Mars" versus "Mars direct" architectures.

Unfortunately, replacing our moon with Mars would have some negative side-effects for both worlds. Mars is 8.7 times more massive than the moon, which means that it would raise much stronger tides on Earth than our moon does now. As for Mars, it would now be significantly warmer than in its present orbit. The ice caps would likely sublimate, and what little water is left on the planet could boil away due to the lack of a thick atmosphere.

Incidentally, the Moon is thought to have been formed by an impact between the young Earth and a Mars-sized body. While Randall probably means well, the situation could get out of control very quickly.
|-
| The solar system needs a super-Earth || {{w|Super-Earth|Super-Earths}} are a type of {{w|Exoplanet|exoplanet}} -- a planet orbiting a star other than the Sun -- that are significantly larger than Earth but significantly smaller than the gas giant planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune). While they are relatively common among systems in which smaller exoplanets have been found, our Solar System doesn't have any super-Earths, and with Mars being moved to replace the Moon, its location would be open to a new planet. With a super-Earth nearby, astronomers would be able to get a much better idea of what they are like. A super-Earth might also be an exciting place to colonize, although [https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/station/expeditions/expedition30/tryanny.html it would not be possible to return to orbit from such a planet] with current rocket technology.
|-
| More asteroids! || Asteroid belts are usually portrayed in fiction as being incredibly crowded with asteroids, so much so that they pose a significant hazard for spaceships. In reality, the asteroid belt is much more boring, as most large asteroids are millions of miles from their nearest neighbor. The number of asteroids in the asteroid belt is indeterminate, as they range in size from dwarf planets {{w|Asteroid|down to about a meter across}}, and more than 100,000 have been found. Despite this, the density of asteroids in the belt is low enough that spacecraft have no problem flying through the belt untouched. Randall wants more asteroids.
|-
| Merge the big planet and the ringed planet into a big ringed planet ("Jaturn") || Jupiter is the largest planet, with a volume larger than all other planets combined, and it displays striking weather patterns such as the {{w|Great Red Spot}}. Saturn, with its prominent ring system, is perhaps the most spectacular, but the planet itself looks very bland with the exception of an enormous hexagonal storm at the north pole. Randall would merge the two, creating one planet that would dominate by both size and appearance. This new planet has Jupiter's cloud features, but Saturn's rings and polar hexagon. The two planets' moons would also be combined: the "Jaturn" diagram shows both the Galilean moons (the four largest moons of Jupiter) and Titan (the largest moon of Saturn) orbiting outside of Jaturn's rings.
|-
| Cut Uranus. Uranus and Neptune are redundant and Neptune is better. Tough but fair. || Uranus and Neptune are often regarded as being planetary "fraternal twins." Both have approximately the same size, the same mass, and the same composition - they even have similarly bizarre magnetic fields. Uranus's most notable trait is that its axial tilt is almost 98°, meaning it lies on its side and has a seasonal cycle unlike that of any other planet. However, this causes Uranus to look completely featureless most of the time, which makes it less interesting, while Neptune has more active weather patterns, including, episodically, a {{w|Great Dark Spot}} similar to Jupiter's Great Red Spot. The name "Uranus" is also {{tvtropes|UranusIsShowing|subject to ridicule}} by English speakers. Randall also characterized Neptune as the slightly more interesting planet of the two in {{what if|30}}.
|-
| Settle the planet thing by making Pluto a moon of Neptune || Pluto was considered a planet from its discovery in 1930 until 2006, when the International Astronomical Union changed its definition of "planet" and reclassified Pluto as a dwarf planet. However, many people who grew up with Pluto listed as the ninth planet of the solar system were unhappy with the change, a topic that has been the topic of several other xkcd comics ([[473: Still Raw]], [[1551: Pluto]], [[1555: Exoplanet Names 2]], etc.). Randall proposes a {{w|Solomonic compromise}} to "satisfy" both the camps who prefer to think of Pluto as "not a dwarf planet" and "not a planet" by making it into a moon. The diagram shows that Charon will also be made a moon of Neptune, and presumably Pluto's other moons as well. Even if the entire Pluto system were transplanted all at once, tidal forces would cause the bodies to drift apart and orbit Neptune independently.

Interestingly, one of the original hypotheses for Pluto's origin is that it and Triton were originally both moons of Neptune, but Triton knocked Pluto out of its orbit into a new orbit around the sun, while Triton remained with Neptune.
|}

==Transcript==
:[A not-to-scale diagram of the solar system is shown with the right edge of the sun on the left side, featuring all eight planets along with their major moons, Pluto (along with its major moon), and the asteroid belt. The original solar system is drawn in black, but several changes have been proposed. If some of the existing planets are removed or changed, they are greyed out, possibly with red crosses over them or red circles or arrows. New planets, moons, rings and asteroids have been added all in red. Each change has been labeled with red text. Only the Sun and Mercury are completely unchanged, Earth and Neptune are not changed directly but their moons have changed. The only black text is a caption at the top:]
:<big>Changes I Would Make to the Solar System</big>

:[Below each of the changes to the solar system is mentioned from left to right, with their labels, that are all in red text. Except for the label under Jupiter and Saturn, there is a line going from the changes to the relevant label.]

:[Three additional planets, one Mercury sized and two smaller on either side very close to each other, have been drawn in between Mercury and the Sun. A bracket marks all three of them and a long line goes from that to the label above, which is even above the next label positioned above the planets.]
:Add mysterious planets inside Mercury's orbit

:[A ring has been drawn around Venus, and a dot representing a moon has been added on its left. A small line goes from the label beneath to Venus.]
:After what it's been through, Venus deserves rings and a moon

:[Next to Earth, drawn with four of the major continents visible, the Moon has been grayed out and crossed out with a red X. Also Mars has been grayed out and it is inside a red circle. An arrow goes from the circle around Mars to the Moon. a small line goes from the arrow between the Moon and Mars to the label above the planets.]
:Replace our moon with Mars. Mars is more interesting and we can consolidate missions.

:[An additional planet, all in red, has been added between Mars and the asteroid belt, about halfway in size between Earth and Neptune. Four continents are visible in a large ocean, along with weather patterns as in an atmosphere. A small line goes from the planet to the label beneath.]
:The Solar System needs a super-Earth

:[Numerous asteroids have been drawn, half in black, with the other half in red added to the existing asteroids that were already there. A small line goes from the asteroids to the label beneath.]
:More asteroids!

:[Jupiter and Saturn have both been greyed out and also crossed out with two red X'es. Two arrows points from each of the original planets to a new larger red planet drawn above the two. This new planet has the belts, zones, Red Spot, and size of Jupiter, and the hexagon on the north pole and rings of Saturn. It also has the four largest moons from Jupiter on one side and the largest moon from Saturn on the other side, with all five drawn similarly to the original moons. Below the two original planets is a label.]
:Merge the big planet and the ringed planet into a big ringed planet ("Jaturn")

:[Uranus is greyed out and also crossed out with a red X. A line goes down to the label beneath it.]
:Cut Uranus. Uranus and Neptune are redundant and Neptune is better. Tough but fair.

:[Pluto and Charon have both been greyed out and are inside a red circle. An arrow points from Pluto and Charon to the right side of Neptune, where Pluto and Charon have been redrawn in red. Neptune's own largest moon is on the other side of Neptune. A line goes from the arrow up to a label above the planet.]
:Settle the planet thing by making Pluto a moon of Neptune

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Compromise]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with red annotations]]

284: Tape Measure

2023-11-19T12:18:27Z

172.69.194.245: Disagreeing with the last editor, as he's not behaving like a young goat. Try this, instead (by way of "acts like a child", before using the more compact phrase).

{{comic
| number = 284
| date = July 2, 2007
| title = Tape Measure
| image = tape_measure.png
| titletext = This sequence was later reproduced in the International Tape-Extending Federation archives, retitled 'The Founding of the Sport'.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] acts childishly, finding a tape measure and then playing with it. He then extends it to 8 feet (approx. 2.5 meters), wondering whether or not that was a record, which makes him imagine a sport where extending the tape measure as far as possible was the goal. (Tape measure strips are bent upward lengthwise to support itself when oriented correctly, much like how one can better hold a sheet of paper horizontally by creating a slight dip. However, as a tape measure is extended, the weight of the strip eventually overcomes the support offered by the bend, causing it to collapse. Skillfully holding the tape measure at an angle can redirect some of the weight load and allow for a longer total extension; it is implied that this technique can be explored to the point of becoming its own sport.)

The title text refers to a future where this sport exists, and this comic is a representation of the origin of this sport.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball finds a tape measure.]
:Cueball: Hey, a tape measure.

:[Cueball extends the tape measure.]
:''extend extend''

:[The tape measure falls.]
:''clatter''

:[Cueball tries again.]
:''click''
:''schwoop''

:''extend extend''

:''extend''

:Cueball (thinking): Ooh, eight feet. I wonder if that's a record.

:[Cueball imagines an olympic stadium, with three people extending tape measures]
:Audience: ''Gooo! Goooo! Gooooooo!''

==Trivia==
*During the real-life meet-up at the time & place mentioned in [[240: Dream Girl]], fans [https://web.archive.org/web/20160605010651/http://thephoenix.com/boston/news/48208-wisdom-of-crowds/ participated in a tape-measure length competition].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

2856: Materials Scientists

2023-11-18T09:00:06Z

172.69.194.245: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2856
| date = November 17, 2023
| title = Materials Scientists
| image = materials_scientists_2x.png
| imagesize = 296x445px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If a materials scientist gives you a present, always ask whether regifting will incur any requirements for Federal paperwork.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BIOLUMINESCENT DEPLETED URANIUM WRAPPING PAPER GIVING OFF A BIT TOO MUCH CHERENKOV RADIATION- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|Material science}} is essentially the study of materials, like {{w|Steel}}, including some pretty strange ones such as {{w|Vantablack}} and {{w|Triiodide}}. Here Ponytail and White Hat have gifted Cueball (a material scientist) a bunch of materials in the form of gift wrapping, which Cueball enjoys due to the materials. The joke is that this is similar to how cats enjoy playing with boxes and wrapping materials, a materials scientist thus would also enjoy an empty wrapped box covered in wrapping paper with some quite interesting properties. (So effectively material scientists are just evolved civilized cats...)

{{w|Aramid}} fibers (misspelled as "amarid" in the comic) are a class of strong synthetic fibers, built from aromatic rings connected via amide linkages. {{w|Kevlar}}, a material commonly used as a fabric for {{w|Bulletproof vest#Soft armor|soft bulletproof vests}}, is an example of an aramid. Due to their strength, they can be quite durable, even when thin, as depicted in the comic.

{{w|Triboluminescence}} refers to a phenomenon where mechanically working on a material (in this case pulling on the tape) causes it to glow. Triboluminescence is still not well understood by material scientists, so they may find such materials particularly appealing. Scotch tape does exhibit this property. Phosphors are substances that glow when exposed to some other, typically more energetic, form of radiation.

{{w|Structural colouration}} is a phenomenon where the colouration of an animal or plant is not produced via pigments but via structural interactions with visible light at the scale of a wavelength (e.g. diffraction gratings, thin-film interference). More generally it can also be used to refer to artificial materials that have a similar effect.

The title text states that if a materials scientist gives you a gift you should ask if regifting it requires any form of federal paperwork, presumably because the materials scientist may have access to items which are dangerous and strictly regulated.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Ponytail, White Hat and Cueball are standing around a table of gifts, with Cueball holding one.]
:Cueball: Where is this wrapping paper from? It's so thin, but I can't tear it. Is this amarid fabric?!
:Cueball: Maybe I can unpeel the... oooh, the tape flashes as I pull it up! Triboluminescence! Did you add a phosphor? It's so bright!
:Cueball: Wait, are these patterns structural coloration?

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Materials scientists are like cats - the best present you can get them is an empty box with cool wrapping paper.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Science]]

405: Journal 3

2023-11-12T15:35:29Z

172.69.194.245: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 405
| date = April 2, 2008
| title = Journal 3
| image = journal 3.png
| titletext = Oh, and, uh, if the Russian government asks, that submarine was always there.
}}

==Explanation==
In [[374: Journal]], [[Black Hat]] explains to [[Cueball]] that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance.

In [[377: Journal 2]], however, [[Danish]] sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus stripping him of the satisfaction and confidence of a proper social connection. She decamps, taking his hat in the process.

Initially vanquished, Black Hat seems to have quickly recovered and tracked Danish down, even to the ends of the Earth. He tells Danish that although she was able to read him impossibly well she blundered one inconsequential detail. We are led to believe that this is some mistake in the disguising of her tracks, but then he explains that it was simply how much he values his hat. It may also be the possibility that Black Hat placed a tracking device of some sort on his hat. This way he trampolines her wrath back at her. She thought that he would mourn the loss of her - the only person who understands him - but he deflates her ego when claiming that he likes his hat (implicitly saying that he doesn't care for her). The series continues in [[432: Journal 4]]. He leaves, taking “her” hat from her.

The title text continues the theme of Black Hat's supernatural ability to troll and to dodge the consequences: If Black Hat stole a military submarine, said military is probably going to be hot on his tail, but he writes it off with: "just tell them it was always here," as if it is no big deal. Black Hat will even be blamed for stealing the submarine in [[496: Secretary: Part 3]]. However, since this is (presumably) the American Senate reviewing him, it may be that he simply has stolen two submarines. It is also possible that the submarine is the American submarine and the title text refers to the Russian Government because their current location is in their territory, and he is shifting any reason for the submarine being there away from himself.

It is perhaps a strange point that this comic includes the line "So, you found me after all", given that the previous comic number [[404: Not Found]] was skipped, leading instead to an HTTP 404 Not Found error page.
The destiny of Black Hat is fully known in [[:Category:Journal|The Journal Legends]].

The whole "[[:Category:Journal|Journal]]" story is:
*[[374: Journal]]
*[[377: Journal 2]]
*[[405: Journal 3]]
*[[432: Journal 4]]
*[[433: Journal 5]]

==Transcript==
:[Two women ice-skating outside.]
:Ponytail: Wait up!
:Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat): Skate faster!

:[Danish sees cracking ice.]
:''Crack Crack''

:[Danish on chunk of ice broken off.]
:''Crack Rumble''

:[Submarine dorsal fin emerging.]
:''AWOOGA''

:[Black Hat (without hat) coming out of hatch.]
:''CREAK''
:Black Hat: Hi.

:Black Hat: That's my hat you're wearing.

:Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat): So, you found me after all.
:Black Hat (out of frame): You didn't make it easy.

:Black Hat: You saw through me, all right. But not quite well enough.

:Black Hat: Because if you wanted to stay lost forever, you made one mistake.

:[Black Hat climbing out of hatch.]

:[Black Hat sliding down a sheet of ice.]

:[Black Hat taking back his hat from Danish's head as he slides by on the ice.]

:[Black Hat skidding to a stop and putting hat back on his head.]

:Black Hat: You took my hat.

:Black Hat: I '''LIKE''' my hat.

:[Black Hat walking away.]

:[Danish left standing.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Journal|03]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Journal]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

Talk:2852: Parameterball

2023-11-10T13:49:48Z

172.69.194.245:

added transcript and a kinda crappy explanation [[User:Certified_nqh|Me]][[[285: Wikipedian Protester|''citation needed'']]][[Category:Pages using the "citation needed" template]] 17:36, 8 November 2023 (UTC)
: added a bit of crappy info to the explanation. also hi nqh [[User:SomeoneIGuess|someone, i guess]]([[User talk:SomeoneIGuess|talk i guess]]|[[Special:Contributions/SomeoneIGuess|le edit list]]) 17:42, 8 November 2023 (UTC)
: added crappy edits. also do i have an account or… [[User:TenGolf MathHacker|TenGolf MathHacker]] ([[User talk:TenGolf MathHacker|talk]]) 19:30, 8 November 2023 (UTC)

Does the tennis court in upper right look about 50% larger than normal to anyone else? The ping-pong table definitely looks too small, about half size. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 18:07, 8 November 2023 (UTC)

: I'd say the the upper right is similar width to a tennis court but is 25% longer. The lower left looks to be similar width to table tennis / ping pong but is about half as long. So the explanations for those need revising. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 18:13, 8 November 2023 (UTC)

: My first reaction to the upper right was very clear: “Aha, Randall means that the players are scaled down to 20cm! Therefore ''parameter''ball.”--[[Special:Contributions/162.158.87.89|162.158.87.89]] 23:11, 9 November 2023 (UTC)

I have some neat plans for that Incomplete template. Get ready for an occasional change to something random that uses anything but metric... [[User:SomeoneIGuess|someone, i guess]]([[User talk:SomeoneIGuess|talk i guess]]|[[Special:Contributions/SomeoneIGuess|le edit list]]) 18:29, 8 November 2023 (UTC)
: mobile account here, first of many implemented [[Special:Contributions/172.70.42.48|172.70.42.48]] 20:55, 8 November 2023 (UTC)
If no limits, then neutron star or black hole ball exists as much as more non lethal games. {{unsigned ip|172.71.151.139|00:06, 9 November 2023}}

Could the title text be talking about the mass of a bowling ball, rather than then density? If the diameter of a bowling ball is 20cm and the diameter of a table tennis ball is 4cm, which is consistent with a quick Google search, than the volume of the bowling ball is around 125 times as big as the table tennis ball (because we have to cube it for three dimensions). Let's assume a bowling ball is 12 pounds, which is about average. Therefore, a ping pong ball with the density of a bowling ball would weigh much less than a pound. A 12 pound table tennis ball, however, could easily cause equipment damage. [[User:Thexkcdnerd|Thexkcdnerd]] ([[User talk:Thexkcdnerd|talk]]) 02:44, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
:I'm sure a one-pound table tennis ball could do sufficient damage to destroy a racquet, but I guess there's really only one way to find out, and I don't know where to find a one-pound ping pong ball. Or is it pingpong? Ping-Pong? pingPong? [[Special:Contributions/172.70.214.62|172.70.214.62]] 05:03, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
::Originally "gossima", with hard rubber balls, even before "whiff-waff" (or "wiff-waff" or "whiff-whaff" or something). First ''properly'' marketed as "ping-pong", in its recognisable form though. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.122.115|172.71.122.115]] 09:07, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
::A snooker/pool ball would probably have similar density to a bowling ball. I can well imagine equipment (and bodily) damage playing table tennis with a snooker ball. {{unsigned ip|172.71.242.37|13:23, 9 November 2023}}
:Isn't the bowling ball a reference to the 'bowling ball on a sheet' metaphor for the distortion of space-time by the gravitational fields of massive objects?[[Special:Contributions/172.71.123.146|172.71.123.146]] 09:31, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
:Also, isn't the density of a bowling ball also a changing parameter in the game of ten-pin bowling? Don't have bowling balls different weights, and unlike nine-pin bowling a fixed volume/size, and thus a variable density? It doesn't really matter for the explanation but describing the end point with an item that itself is variable isn't really helpful. The entries giraffe, screwdriver and large board game board are having the same problem. "A large boulder the size of a small boulder" https://twitter.com/SheriffAlert/status/1221881862244749315 [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 12:34, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
::The size isn't fixed, but yes, the weight can be changed by varying the size ''or'' density (within limits), and they can even have varying density within the ball.[[Special:Contributions/172.69.194.244|172.69.194.244]] 17:30, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
:Yes, too dense a ping-pong "ball" (e.g. a pebble) is able to damage the foam coating of a "more professional" racket models. As a kid I have had been yelled at by the PE teacher for such horseplay and I have been given a basic and inferior plywood-and-thin-rubber model (with the rubber peeling off) as a punishment. -- [[Special:Contributions/162.158.102.250|162.158.102.250]] 13:32, 9 November 2023 (UTC)

Does the screwdriver measurement relate to the drink or the tool?[[Special:Contributions/172.69.194.245|172.69.194.245]] 09:32, 9 November 2023 (UTC)

The explanation claims that the max density depicted is that of a bowling ball. However, the balls in the first three panels look much too light for that, and the ball in the fourth would probably have crushed the player if it was that dense. I would guess a solid rubber ball would be a better estimate (although the one in the second panel is hard to judge).[[Special:Contributions/172.71.242.83|172.71.242.83]] 11:28, 9 November 2023 (UTC)

Only now have I learned that links can exist in the incomplete explanation text. It seems self-evident now,, but still. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.58.142|172.68.58.142]] 13:55, 9 November 2023 (UTC)

Can each player choose a different raquet[sic] size? None of the examples suggest this. Also, is the construction of the racket a parameter? Tennis rackets have woven strings in the racket head, which a really tiny ball could pass through, and would have trouble controlling something marble-sized. Ping-pong paddles have a solid head with a rubber surface, which nothing larger than atomic size is likely to pass through. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 14:54, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
: The racquets they're using in the different panels are different sizes, and the title text says that 'players don't learn the [ball density] until after '''choosing their raquets''' Or do you mean could the two players have different racquets ''from each other''?.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.91.205|172.70.91.205]] 09:35, 10 November 2023 (UTC)

The fact that people keep editing the EXPLANATION NEEDED template made me realize we should have an archive for that purely for the lols [[Special:Contributions/172.71.30.14|172.71.30.14]] 15:51, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
: That's a bet [[User:SomeoneIGuess|someone, i guess]]([[User talk:SomeoneIGuess|talk i guess]]|[[Special:Contributions/SomeoneIGuess|le edit list]]) 16:21, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
::I didn't think anyone would actually do that, thanks! =) [[Special:Contributions/172.71.30.178|172.71.30.178]] 16:51, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
:::Was actually planning on doing it earlier today, but this reminded me about it [[User:SomeoneIGuess|someone, i guess]]([[User talk:SomeoneIGuess|talk i guess]]|[[Special:Contributions/SomeoneIGuess|le edit list]]) 17:02, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
I wonder how long this will keep going. My guess is that I'll be the only one still doing it when the next comic gets released [[Special:Contributions/172.71.30.178|172.71.30.178]] 17:04, 9 November 2023 (UTC)
: I have a few more to push out (wink) [[User:SomeoneIGuess|someone, i guess]]([[User talk:SomeoneIGuess|talk i guess]]|[[Special:Contributions/SomeoneIGuess|le edit list]]) 17:06, 9 November 2023 (UTC)

This would make a GREAT video game.... - [[Special:Contributions/172.71.254.113|172.71.254.113]] 09:17, 10 November 2023 (UTC)

Idea: To avoid edit spam, we make another copy of the page meant for parameter editing. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.140|108.162.238.140]] 12:40, 10 November 2023 (UTC)
:Idea: We don't bother. I ''had'' collected a whole lot of Incomplete non-BOT versions (from the point just before someone removes them, mainly) and was going to put them up in ''my'' userpage (once I bothered to get one), but I don't think it's worth kt. And, in this case, it's just self-promotion to alter one when not making any other valid change. I prefer spontaneity in my humor, not "trying to one-up the last person". Personal opinion, YMMV. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.194.245|172.69.194.245]] 13:49, 10 November 2023 (UTC)

1512: Horoscopes

2023-11-09T23:15:42Z

172.69.194.245: Noted some *minor* (but some necessary) issues with wikilink usage, old and new. Haven't checked them all, though.

{{comic
| number = 1512
| date = April 15, 2015
| title = Horoscopes
| image = horoscopes.png
| titletext = If you live in the Northern hemisphere. In the southern hemisphere, due to the coriolis effect, babies are born nine months BEFORE they're conceived.
}}
==Explanation==
{{w|Horoscopes}} purport to predict someone's personality or future, based on the position of planets and stars at the time of their birth and at present. Horoscopes commonly group people into twelve groups based on {{w|zodiac signs}}. The names of the horoscope Zodiac signs are based on the names of twelve constellations that were the backdrop for the path of the sun in the ancient times when the rules of settings horoscopes were originally developed. Today, due to precession of the Earth's axis of rotation (and to a lesser degree due to the modern formal definitions of constellations), the Zodiac signs do not correspond fully to the names of actual constellations in the path of the Sun. One's zodiac sign is determined by the position of the sun on their birthday, with each sign representing a specific 30.4 day period (1/12th of a year), starting from the {{w|equinox|First point of Aries}}.

Modern science has found {{w|Astrology and science|no basis for horoscopes}}. As with many unscientific claims and mythologies, [[Randall]] doesn't seem to care for the beliefs, and has more fun gently mocking them. The joke of this strip is that the only thing you can calculate from your astrological sign is the period of the year during which you were {{w|Fertilisation|conceived}}. The average human is born 38 weeks after conception. There's enough variation in the length of pregnancies that this can vary by as much as several months, but for the majority of people, the date of their conception can be calculated from their birthday, within a week or two.

This can be a slightly uncomfortable topic, because most humans were conceived by their parents having sexual intercourse, which is a topic that many people find uncomfortable to think about. The premise of this strip is that, based on the time you were born, you can make a guess at the circumstances under which you were conceived. Such guesses wouldn't be universally accurate, of course, but the notion that you could make a decent guess of the circumstances of someone's conception feels almost transgressive.

Randall phrases his "predictions" as possibilities ("you may have") rather than declarations, acknowledging that it is a guess, and that it, unlike actual horoscopes, doesn't necessarily apply to everyone.

The title text mentions that these predictions only apply to the northern hemisphere. This references both an issue with zodiac signs (as constellations are different in the southern hemisphere), and the fact that his 'predictions' are clearly based on an American context (many of the holiday references are exclusive to America). This idea is then lampooned by attributing it to the Coriolis effect (which has nothing to do with birth dates), and claiming that children in the southern hemisphere are born 9 months ''before'' conception (which is obviously impossible).

The {{w|Coriolis effect}} refers to a phenomenon of motion that occurs relative to a rotating reference frame. Since the Earth is rotating, an apparent force (the Coriolis force) causes objects moving toward the poles to be deflected to right in the northern hemisphere, and to the left in the southern hemisphere. This effect is the reason that {{w|Coriolis effect#Meteorology|weather systems}} (most clearly seen for {{w|hurricanes}}) which rotate in opposite directions, depending the hemisphere.

==Table of Astrological signs==
Here below is a table with data and explanation of the individual horoscopes:
{| class="wikitable"
!{{w|Astrological sign}} (English name)
!{{w|Birthday}} range
!Expected conception}}
!Horoscope prediction
!Explanation
|-
|♈ {{w|Aries (astrology)|Aries}} (The Ram)
|March 21 – April 21
|June 28 – July 28
|You may have been conceived after a 4th of July fireworks show
|In the US the {{w|Independence Day (United States)|Independence Day}} is celebrated on the 4th of July, and this is customarily celebrated with huge fireworks. Fireworks are a common metaphor for the culmination of sex (i.e. the orgasm), and are often the focus of social gatherings that might lead to conception.
|-
|♉ {{w|Taurus (astrology)|Taurus}} (The Bull)
|April 20 – May 20
|July 27 – August 27
|You may have been conceived on a hot August day
|In most of the northern hemisphere there are many hot days in {{w|August}}. People in hot weather tend to wear less clothing, which might promote sexual attraction.
|-
|♊ {{w|Gemini (astrology)|Gemini}} (The Twins)
|May 21 – June 21
|August 28 – September 28
|You may have been conceived as the leaves began to change
|In the northern part of the northern hemisphere the {{w|autumn}} starts at the end of this time period, so the leaves will begin to change color.
|-
|♋ {{w|Cancer (astrology)|Cancer}} (The Crab)
|June 21 – July 21
|September 28 – October 28
|You may have been conceived by people trying on costumes
|This period ends a few days before {{w|Halloween}}, so it possible that the people who conceived you (mom and dad) tried on their new costumes when they made you. Roleplay, enhanced with costumes, can be a way to spice up a relationship and can lead to sex and procreation.
|-
|♌ {{w|Leo (astrology)|Leo}} (The Lion)
|July 22 – August 23
|October 29 – November 30
|You may have been conceived during Thanksgiving
|{{w|Thanksgiving}} is celebrated in the US on the fourth Thursday of November.
|-
|♍ {{w|Virgo (astrology)|Virgo}} (The Maiden)
|August 23 – September 22
|November 30 – December 29
|You may have been conceived while a Christmas song played
|It is very common for {{w|Christmas}} songs to be played in the month of December.
|-
|♎ {{w|Libra (astrology)|Libra}} (The Scales)
|September 22 – October 23
|December 29 – January 30
|You may have been conceived after a New Year's Eve party
|{{w|New Year's Eve}} always falls on December 31. Parties are commonly held to celebrate the new year, which create an ideal circumstance in which to either find a mate, or to celebrate with an existing partner. New Year's parties, by definition, are held late at night, it's common for alcohol to be consumed, and it's become a custom in the US to celebrate the moment of the New Year by kissing someone. All of these factors could contribute to sexual relations during or after such a party.
|-
|♏ {{w|Scorpio (astrology)|Scorpio}} (The Scorpion)
|October 23 – November 22
|January 30 – February 29
|You may have been conceived by people stuck inside after a long winter
|This period is during the coolest part and towards the end of the {{w|winter}} in the northern hemisphere. People may even be forced to stay at home due to snow. When people have nothing else to do [https://www.google.dk/search?q=babies+9+month+after+snowstorm&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&gws_rd=cr&ei=qzkuVcjAE4qsswGevoC4CQ many babies are born 9 months later]. Interestingly, this period also includes {{w|Valentine's Day}}, which is a famous celebration of love and romance, but isn't mentioned as a potential contributor to potential conceptions.
|-
|♐ {{w|Sagittarius (astrology)|Sagittarius}} (The Archer)
|November 22 – December 21
|February 29 – March 28
|You may have been conceived during March Madness
|Originally {{w|European hare#Mating and reproduction|March madness}} referred to the early part of the mating season for the {{w|European Hare}}, in which females fight off male suitors. Today, in a US context, this is an {{w|NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Championship|American college Basketball tournament}} that started in 1939 and is mainly held in March. It is even covered on TV under the name {{w|NCAA March Madness (CBS/Turner)|NCAA March Madness}}.
|-
|♑ {{w|Capricorn (astrology)|Capricorn}} (The Goat)
|December 22 – January 19
|March 29 – April 28
|You may have been conceived during a sexy Easter Egg hunt
|{{w|Easter}} falls between {{w|List of dates for Easter#Earliest Easter|March 22}} and {{w|List of dates for Easter#Latest Easter|April 25}} so most Easter celebrations, (and therefore most {{w|Egg hunt|Easter Egg hunts}}) will occur during this period. Egg hunts are typically activities for children, in which adults hide eggs and treats and children are encouraged to search for them. While Easter is traditionally associated with fertility symbolism, the holiday itself isn't generally associated with notions of romance or sex, making the concept of a "sexy Easter Egg hunt" rather unexpected. It may be playing with ability of people to turn nearly any occasion sexual, with enough creativity.
|-
|♒ {{w|Aquarius (astrology)|Aquarius}} (The Water Carrier)
|January 20 – February 18
|April 27 – May 25
|You may have been conceived on Mother's Day
|{{w|Mother's Day}} in the USA,and some other countries, is on the second Sunday in May, between 8 and 14 May. It's traditional for mothers to receive special recognition and affection on this holiday, and such attention from their partners could potentially lead to sex. (Such recognition generally only happens if a woman is already a mother, which would imply that the person must have older siblings).
|-
|♓ {{w|Pisces (astrology)|Pisces}} (The Fish)
|February 19 – March 20
|May 25 – June 27
|You may have been conceived at someone's wedding
|June is widely reported as the [http://www.statista.com/statistics/241231/percentage-of-us-weddings-by-month/ most popular month for weddings in the United States], likely due to a preference for being married in warm weather (particularly if the wedding takes place outdoors). A child might be conceived on their parents' wedding night, but weddings are often large social gatherings, and are generally built around a celebration of love, which can prime people with a romantic mindset. A married or dating couple attending a wedding might might feel particularly amorous, and single people might use the opportunity to spark new relationships. the specific phrase "'''at''' someone's wedding" implies a couple so overcome with love and/or lust they can't even wait until they've left the event.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Above the frame:]
:'''Horoscopes'''
:With an actual basis in fact
:[A list with the name of each astrological sign in the first column (in gray) and a horoscope for each sign in the second column. Here given in table form]
:{| class="wikitable"
! Aries •
| You may have been conceived after a 4th of July fireworks show
|-
! Taurus •
| You may have been conceived on a hot August day
|-
! Gemini •
| You may have been conceived as the leaves began to change
|-
! Cancer •
| You may have been conceived by people trying on costumes
|-
! Leo •
| You may have been conceived during Thanksgiving
|-
! Virgo •
| You may have been conceived while a Christmas song played
|-
! Libra •
| You may have been conceived after a New Year's Eve party
|-
! Scorpio •
| You may have been conceived by people stuck inside after a long winter
|-
! Sagittarius •
| You may have been conceived during March Madness
|-
! Capricorn •
| You may have been conceived during a sexy Easter egg hunt
|-
! Aquarius •
| You may have been conceived on Mother's day
|-
! Pisces •
| You may have been conceived at someone's wedding
|}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Christmas]]

Talk:2852: Parameterball

2023-11-09T09:32:49Z

172.69.194.245:

2702: What If 2 Gift Guide

2023-11-08T17:07:27Z

172.69.194.245: Undo revision 328230 by 172.69.23.39 (talk) What? A grand total of *ELEVEN* "Citation needed"s, including two in one paragraph? Over-salted and excessive, I think many would agree.

<noinclude>:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2702
| date = November 23, 2022
| title = What If 2 Gift Guide
| image = what_if_2_gift_guide_2x.png
| imagesize = 500x878px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = BABIES OR LITERATURE BUT NOT BOTH: Baby shoes
}}

==Explanation==

[[Randall]] is again promoting his new book, ''[https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ What If? 2]'', and starts by explaining the kind of recipient who might appreciate it, basically anyone who is into science or anything in the universe... So basically anyone.

Then he also gives both direct and humorously indirect instructions of how to obtain the book for them, the latter method making a jocular (but not completely wrong) presumption that almost any text-input widget leads to some relevant search-engine result. Also the entire comic is a link to the ''What If? 2'' page on xkcd that's included in the comic. As always, clicking anywhere on the image will take you there (including actually clicking on the link).

He also suggests some other tongue-in-cheek gift ideas for several other subtypes of gift-receiver, most of which are, in keeping with the ''What If'' ethos, somewhat dangerous or impractical. A number directly reference things previously mentioned or depicted by xkcd.

{| class="wikitable"
|+
|-
! Interest !! Gift Idea !! Explanation
|-
| Engineering || The {{w|International Prototype of the Kilogram|platinum cylinder}} formerly used to define the kilogram || This is an object of historical relevance of which only six exist, making it a very expensive or illegal gift. With the {{w|2019 redefinition of the SI base units|redefinition of the SI base units}} in 2019, {{w|2019_redefinition_of_the_SI_base_units#Kilogram|the kilogram}} is now defined using only natural constants rather than a physical standard. It took some time before this last SI unit was redefined, 3 years prior to this comic's release. The old prototypes are no longer as important as they were when they were actually used to define the kilogram. But they are still historical artifacts with enormous value, even apart from the value of a kilogram of platinum (about $32 000 at time of writing).
|-
| Biology || The genomes of the scientists who headed the human genome project || The "International Human Genome Sequencing Consortium," as the {{w|Human Genome Project}} team was known, involved scientists from twenty institutions in six countries. In the US, it was initially led by DNA structure co-discoverer {{w|James Watson}} who was succeeded by {{w|Francis Collins}}. In the UK, the project was led by {{w|John Sulston}}. The teams from other countries' institutions were less prominent and performed substantially less work on the initial sequencing. James Watson's genome was sequenced in 2007. The genome of {{w|Craig Venter}}, the CEO of {{w|Celera Genomics}}, was used as the exemplar for Celera’s sequence. While the “race” between Celera and NIH was declared a tie by then-President Clinton, in actuality, Celera had some 85+% coverage while NIH was about 50%.
|-
| Physics || A beam of neutrinos delivered through the earth by the LHC || {{w|Neutrino}}s interact very weakly with other particles, to the point that they almost always pass straight through matter completely unaffected. This means that particle accelerators (such as the {{w|Large Hadron Collider}}, or LHC) can send neutrinos to any other point on Earth by aiming the particle beam into the ground, and the neutrinos pass straight through the Earth. This point is referenced in the What-If article "{{what if|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}". The low interactivity of neutrinos would also mean that the recipient would be unable to perceive their gift, making this a poor present for anyone except the small proportion of physics aficionados who already have a neutrino detector on-hand.
|-
| Animals || Surprise wildlife encounter (gift-wrapped box with a bobcat inside) || This is a reference to [[:Category:Bobcats|xkcd's rich history of mailing boxed bobcats to people]]. This gift would place the recipient in a perilous situation, and, although definitely a wildlife encounter, is not a good gift.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Law || A vacation to that area of Idaho where you can commit crimes with impunity due to a court district boundary error || This refers to the "{{w|Zone of Death (Yellowstone)|Zone of Death}}", a 50-square-mile area of Yellowstone National Park that is in the physical boundaries of Idaho, but in the legal jurisdiction of Wyoming. Because a jury in the United States must be composed of residents of the same district ''and'' state in which the crime was committed, but no one lives in this small area of a National Park, anyone who committed a crime here could not (according to a legal theory not fully tested in the courts) receive a trial, and thus could not legally be punished for said crime in any circumstance. This is an interesting legal loophole, but going to this area does not provide any more value than hearing about it, and could scare your law-enthusiast friend.
|-
| Chemistry || A necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out the recipient's name (note: names like "Katherine" and "Brandon" may cause radiation accidents.) || Novelty necklaces are a common and innocuous gift. The {{w|Periodic Table}} traditionally represents each of the chemical elements with a one or two letter symbol. Using these symbols to replace letters in a name is a common gimmick (famously used in the title and credits of {{w|Breaking Bad}}). Using real samples of the given elements could be difficult, as elements can be expensive, highly reactive, or toxic, and some are gaseous or liquid at room temperature. Reactivity and toxicity can be dealt with by containing them in well-sealed containers, which would also be necessary for non-solids. Radioactive elements, on the other hand, could be dangerous even if well contained, and some have half-lives too short to make them a practical gift. Spelling "Katherine" entirely with elemental symbols requires using {{W|astatine}} (whose symbol is "At"), and "Brandon" would require {{W|radium}} (with the symbol Ra). Neither of these elements have stable forms, and both would put out dangerous amounts of radiation. If worn as a necklace (and thus constantly near human flesh), even a small sample of either of these would be dangerous. Additionally, the letters J and Q do not appear in the standard periodic table symbols, while M does not appear on its own (only followed by six other characters, with "o" as the only vowel amongst them), so a name like John, Quinn or Mike would be problematic.
|-
| Puzzles || Two goats and a new car || This is a reference to the "{{w|Monty Hall problem}}", in which a game show contestant has to choose between three doors, two of which conceal goats and one of which conceals a car, and wins whatever prize is revealed. (See [[1282: Monty Hall]], for another cartoon inspired by this problem.) This gift places the recipient within a puzzle which is typically discussed hypothetically rather than happening in real life. Although many people would consider a new car a ''great'' gift, those who would appreciate a gift of goats are less common.
|-
| Technology || Cybiko® wireless handheld computer for teens (2000) || This is a direct callback to [[2699: Feature Comparison|one of the previous week's comics]], which humorously suggested that this device is a better option than most of the current popular communication technologies. While an interesting example of the history of communication technology and coming from a time when experimentation was common and standards were few, it isn't very useful now, because it is no longer supported, has a communication range of 100 meters (sending text messages via radio) and one can only use it to communicate with users of the same device. However, technology enthusiasts could find it interesting as a collectors' item, so by all means it is one of the most plausible gift ideas on this list.
|-
| Space || Webb telescope personal photoshoot || The Webb telescope belongs to NASA, the ESA and the CSA, and is currently very far from Earth. It is designed to capture distant space objects in previously unseen detail. If the photoshoot implies photographing a nearby human, it is not designed to do this, even if the difficulties of sending a human about a million miles to its location could be overcome. On the other hand, if it means photographing the recipient on the earth's surface, Webb would have to point at the warm Earth and expose its optics to the Sun, permanently crippling the telescope ([https://webb.nasa.gov/content/about/faqs/faqLite.html Which is forbidden by NASA.]) and it would not have sufficient resolution to make out the subject in any case. These circumstances make it a highly impractical gift, to all intents and purposes to the point of impossibility.

On the other hand, a gift experience of being allowed to take your own snapshot of Webb in position, perhaps with a [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-10442913/James-Webb-Space-Telescope-seen-Earth-settles-orbit.html robotic telescope], might be an attractive gift to a space enthusiast! So might a chance to use the Webb telescope to take pictures of whatever celestial objects one chooses, as time on the Webb telescope is very carefully allocated.
|-
| Literature || Stephen King's writing desk (he's still using it so you'll have to fight him) || {{w|Stephen King}} is an author lucky enough to have legendary status while still alive. The desk of a famous author who has died would become an object of historic significance and would likely be either kept for exhibition or auctioned by their respective estate, but as Stephen King is still alive, he would probably object to his desk being subjected to the same.
|-
| Philosophy || Out-of-control trolley || This is another gift that places the recipient in the situations that they like discussing hypothetically. The {{w|trolley problem}} is a thought experiment in which one is asked to decide between allowing a trolley to kill five people or taking an action that causes it to kill one. Presenting someone with such a hypothetical problem may or may not be not a good gift, but [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sl5KJ69qiA forcing them to live through it in real life] is a terrible gift. (See [[1455: Trolley Problem]] for another cartoon inspired by this problem.)
|-
| Psychology || A nice gift with a note saying you don't expect anything in return || This unkind attempt at psychological manipulation is intended as a joke, and is not a viable option on this list. Unlike normal gift giving, which could induce the Benjamin Franklin effect, causing the gift giver to like the recipient more, explicitly stating that the giver doesn't expect anything is an attempt to manipulate or guilt-trip the recipient (as is common for people with personality disorders) by increasing pressure to reciprocate. The joke here comes from the idea of giving a psychologist a note relating to the psychology of gift-giving, manipulation, and personality disorders, but this would not be to their enjoyment and should not be done in real life.
|-
| (Title text) Babies or literature but not both || Baby shoes || This is a reference to the six-word story {{w|For sale: baby shoes, never worn}}, sometimes falsely attributed to Ernest Hemingway. Someone involved with babies, such as expecting or new parents, would find baby shoes a valuable gift for their child. Someone interested in literature would see the reference to a famous work. But someone who understands the reference and also enjoys babies might be sad, since the story implies the seller was expecting a baby but something went tragically wrong. This story was previously the subject of [[1540: Hemingway]].
|}

==Transcript==

What If? 2 Gift Guide

What if? 2 makes a good gift for anyone who's into science, absurd ideas, or just the universe in general. To order, go to xkcd.com/whatif2, or just type "what if 2" into some random box on your device; it will probably work.

Here are some other gift ideas for hard-to-shop-for science enthusiasts:

Interest - Gift Idea

Engineering - The platinum cylinder formerly used to define the kilogram 
Biology - The genomes of the scientists who headed the human genome project 
Physics - A beam of neutrinos delivered through the earth by the LHC 
Animals - Surprise wildlife encounter (gift-wrapped box with a bobcat inside) 
Law - A vacation to that area of Idaho where you can commit crimes with impunity due to a court district boundary error 
Chemistry - A necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out the recipient's name (note: names like "Katherine" and "Brandon" may cause radiation accidents.) 
Puzzles - Two goats and a new car 
Technology - Cybiko® Wireless Handheld Computer for Teens (2000) 
Space - Webb telescope personal photoshoot 
Literature - Stephen King's writing desk (he's still using it so you'll have to fight him) 
Philosophy - Out-of-control trolley 
Psychology - A nice gift with a note saying you don't expect anything in return. 

{{comic discussion}}

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