explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2668: Artemis Quote

2022-09-06T07:26:06Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ I've filled out enough of these CAPTCHAs to know what steps look like

{{comic
| number = 2668
| date = September 5, 2022
| title = Artemis Quote
| image = artemis_quote.png
| titletext = Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|created by a COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|Artemis program}} is a series of planned space missions that will land people on the Moon and begin to set up infrastructure for a permanent crewed presence. People first landed on the Moon in 1969 as part of the {{w|Apollo program}}. They have not been back since 1972.

When {{w|Neil Armstrong}} became the first person to walk on the Moon, he famously said, "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." However, he was intending to say, "That's one small step for '''''a''''' man; one giant leap for mankind [emphasis added]." [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Frase_de_Neil_Armstrong.ogg The audio recording] omits the word "a", making the sentence confusing, as "man" and "mankind" have the same meaning when referring to all people. That it was apparently elided by Armstrong in the excitement, changing the meaning of the historical phrase, is controversial and thus humorous. Subsequently, Armstrong and others have blamed insufficiently tuned {{w|voice activity detection}} hardware circuitry intended to save power in radio voice transmission, but NASA engineers, third-party historians and their hired experts have never been able to corroborate that explanation.[https://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/alsj/a11/a11.step.html][http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003645.html] Armstrong later said he hoped, "history would grant me leeway for dropping the syllable and understand that it was certainly intended, even if it was not said," and, on p.126 of the June 1982 edition of ''Omni,'' "the 'a' is implied, so I'm happy if they just put it in parentheses."

[[Randall]] suggests that the first Artemis astronaut to set foot on the Moon has a duty to utter an even more confusing quote, saying the sentence, "This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the moon," aloud as they step onto the Moon. That would be confusingly self-referential, as if they were alluding to something from the past. This is very unlikely, and funny merely as a recommendation. If it actually happened, it might be both hilarious and scandalous.

The title text suggests an alternate phrase by which the Artemis astronaut could say being the first (rather than 13th) person on the Moon is a great honor. People hearing this quote in the future could assume that Artemis was the first crewed mission to the Moon. It could feed into contemporary conspiracy theories that the Apollo landings were faked, furthering the confusion.

=== Esoterica ===
* The {{w|schwa}} indefinite article "a" is optional in certain contexts of most dialects of American English.[https://linguapress.com/grammar/article-in-english.htm]
* While the comic's lunar lander has similarities to the {{w|Starship HLS|current plans}} for the Artemis lander,[https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/as-artemis-moves-forward-nasa-picks-spacex-to-land-next-americans-on-moon] it's a generic drawing, perhaps in homage to classic space science fiction, with the exit portal at an unlikely position near the base of the {{w|SpaceX Starship}} lander.[https://www.teslarati.com/spacex-starship-moon-elevator-nasa-prototype/]
* This comic coincides with the canceled launch of {{w|Artemis 1}}, an uncrewed test mission which will serve as the start of the Artemis program. The mission was intended to launch on 29 August 2022, and later on 3 September 2022, but was repeatedly postponed due to a series of technical problems and will now take place no earlier than late September 2022.
* In [[893: 65 Years]], Randall made a graph showing the number of living people who had been on the moon an estimated the day when zero would be alive. (Very depressing). At that time 9 of the 12 where still alive. Today at the time of this comics release is seems only four are still among the living. But with the Artemis project, it may not reach zero. 

==Transcript==
:[A vertical rocket is standing on four deployed legs on the surface of the Moon. The surface is depicted with characteristic craters and rocks with a slightly curved horizon. The rocket is standing in the left part of the panel. A short ladder leads down from a hatch in the lower part of the rocket body. An astronaut has stepped down from a ladder onto the Moon's surface, and is speaking:]

:Astronaut: This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the Moon.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:Neil Armstrong's "man"/"a man" quote created a lot of historical confusion, and I think it's our duty to expand on that legacy with Artemis.

{{comic discussion}}

2668: Artemis Quote

2022-09-06T07:23:55Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ spelling, etc

{{comic
| number = 2668
| date = September 5, 2022
| title = Artemis Quote
| image = artemis_quote.png
| titletext = Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|created by a COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|Artemis program}} is a series of planned space missions that will land people on the Moon and begin to set up infrastructure for a permanent crewed presence. People first landed on the Moon in 1969 as part of the {{w|Apollo program}}. They have not been back since 1972.

When {{w|Neil Armstrong}} became the first person to walk on the Moon, he famously said, "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." However, he was intending to say, "That's one small step for '''''a''''' man; one giant leap for mankind [emphasis added]." [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Frase_de_Neil_Armstrong.ogg The audio recording] omits the word "a", making the sentence confusing, as "man" and "mankind" have the same meaning when referring to all people. That it was apparently elided by Armstrong in the excitement, changing the meaning of the historical phrase, is controversial and thus humorous. Subsequently, Armstrong and others have blamed insufficiently tuned {{w|voice activity detection}} hardware circuitry intended to save power in radio voice transmission, but NASA engineers, third-party historians and their hired experts have never been able to corroborate that explanation.[https://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/alsj/a11/a11.step.html][http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003645.html] Armstrong later said he hoped, "history would grant me leeway for dropping the syllable and understand that it was certainly intended, even if it was not said," and, on p.126 of the June 1982 edition of ''Omni,'' "the 'a' is implied, so I'm happy if they just put it in parentheses."

[[Randall]] suggests that the first Artemis astronaut to set foot on the Moon has a duty to utter an even more confusing quote, saying the sentence, "This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the moon," aloud as they step onto the Moon. That would be confusingly self-referential, as if they were alluding to something from the past. This is very unlikely, and funny merely as a recommendation. If it actually happened, it might be both hilarious and scandalous.

The title text suggests an alternate phrase by which the Artemis astronaut could say being the first (rather than 13th) person on the Moon is a great honor. People hearing this quote in the future could assume that Artemis was the first crewed mission to the Moon. It could feed into contemporary conspiracy theories that the Apollo landings were faked, furthering the confusion.

=== Esoterica ===
* The {{w|schwa}} indefinite article "a" is optional in certain contexts of most dialects of American English.[https://linguapress.com/grammar/article-in-english.htm]
* While the comic's lunar lander has similarities to the {{w|Starship HLS|current plans}} for the Artemis lander,[https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/as-artemis-moves-forward-nasa-picks-spacex-to-land-next-americans-on-moon] it's a generic drawing, perhaps in homage to classic space science fiction, with the exit portal at an unlikely position near the base of the {{w|SpaceX Starship}} lander.[https://www.teslarati.com/spacex-starship-moon-elevator-nasa-prototype/]
* This comic coincides with the canceled launch of {{w|Artemis 1}}, an uncrewed test mission which will serve as the start of the Artemis program. The mission was intended to launch on 29 August 2022, and later on 3 September 2022, but was repeatedly postponed due to a series of technical problems and will now take place no earlier than late September 2022.
* In [[893: 65 Years]], Randall made a graph showing the number of living people who had been on the moon an estimated the day when zero would be alive. (Very depressing). At that time 9 of the 12 where still alive. Today at the time of this comics release is seems only four are still among the living. But with the Artemis project, it may not reach zero. 

==Transcript==
:[A vertical rocket is standing on four deployed legs on the surface of the Moon. The surface is depicted with characteristic craters and rocks across a landscape with a slightly but clearly curved horizon. The rocket is standing in the left part of the panel. A short ladder, or set of steps, leads down from a hatch in the lower part of the rocket body. An astronaut has stepped down from a ladder onto the Moon's surface, and is speaking:]

:Astronaut: This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the Moon.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:Neil Armstrong's "man"/"a man" quote created a lot of historical confusion, and I think it's our duty to expand on that legacy with Artemis.

{{comic discussion}}

2668: Artemis Quote

2022-09-06T07:22:59Z

172.69.33.207: /* Esoterica */ comment discussion passage with unparseable ending

{{comic
| number = 2668
| date = September 5, 2022
| title = Artemis Quote
| image = artemis_quote.png
| titletext = Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|created by a COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|Artemis program}} is a series of planned space missions that will land people on the Moon and begin to set up infrastructure for a permanent crewed presence. People first landed on the Moon in 1969 as part of the {{w|Apollo program}}. They have not been back since 1972.

When {{w|Neil Armstrong}} became the first person to walk on the Moon, he famously said, "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." However, he was intending to say, "That's one small step for '''''a''''' man; one giant leap for mankind [emphasis added]." [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Frase_de_Neil_Armstrong.ogg The audio recording] omits the word "a", making the sentence confusing, as "man" and "mankind" have the same meaning when referring to all people. That it was apparently elided by Armstrong in the excitement, changing the meaning of the historical phrase, is controversial and thus humorous. Subsequently, Armstrong and others have blamed insufficiently tuned {{w|voice activity detection}} hardware circuitry intended to save power in radio voice transmission, but NASA engineers, third-party historians and their hired experts have never been able to corroborate that explanation.[https://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/alsj/a11/a11.step.html][http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003645.html] Armstrong later said he hoped, "history would grant me leeway for dropping the syllable and understand that it was certainly intended, even if it was not said," and, on p.126 of the June 1982 edition of ''Omni,'' "the 'a' is implied, so I'm happy if they just put it in parentheses."

[[Randall]] suggests that the first Artemis astronaut to set foot on the Moon has a duty to utter an even more confusing quote, saying the sentence, "This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the moon," aloud as they step onto the Moon. That would be confusingly self-referential, as if they were alluding to something from the past. This is very unlikely, and funny merely as a recommendation. If it actually happened, it might be both hilarious and scandalous.

The title text suggests an alternate phrase by which the Artemis astronaut could say being the first (rather than 13th) person on the Moon is a great honor. People hearing this quote in the future could assume that Artemis was the first crewed mission to the Moon. It could feed into contemporary conspiracy theories that the Apollo landings were faked, furthering the confusion.

=== Esoterica ===
* The {{w|schwa}} indefinite article "a" is optional in certain contexts of most dialects of American English.[https://linguapress.com/grammar/article-in-english.htm]
* While the comic's lunar lander has similarities to the {{w|Starship HLS|current plans}} for the Artemis lander,[https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/as-artemis-moves-forward-nasa-picks-spacex-to-land-next-americans-on-moon] it's a generic drawing, perhaps in homage to classic space science fiction, with the exit portal at an unlikely position near the base of the {{w|SpaceX Starship}} lander.[https://www.teslarati.com/spacex-starship-moon-elevator-nasa-prototype/]
* This comic coincides with the canceled launch of {{w|Artemis 1}}, an uncrewed test mission which will serve as the start of the Artemis program. The mission was intended to launch on 29 August 2022, and later on 3 September 2022, but was repeatedly postponed due to a series of technical problems and will now take place no earlier than late September 2022.
* In [[893: 65 Years]], Randall made a graph showing the number of living people who had been on the moon an estimated the day when zero would be alive. (Very depressing). At that time 9 of the 12 where still alive. Today at the time of this comics release is seems only four are still among the living. But with the Artemis project, it may not reach zero. 

==Transcript==
:[A vertical rocket is standing on four deployed legs on the surface of the Moon. The surface is depicted with characteristic craters and rocks across a landscape with a slightly but clearly curved horizon. The rocket is standing in the left part of the panel. A short ladder, or set of steps, leads down from a hatch in the lower part of the rocket body. An astronaut has just stepped down from the latter onto the Moon's surface, and is delivering his first quote on the surface:]
:Astronaut: This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the Moon.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:Neil Armstrong's "man"/"a man" quote created a lot of historical confusion, and I think it's our duty to expand on that legacy with Artemis.

{{comic discussion}}

2668: Artemis Quote

2022-09-06T07:20:53Z

172.69.33.207: /* Esoterica */ typo

{{comic
| number = 2668
| date = September 5, 2022
| title = Artemis Quote
| image = artemis_quote.png
| titletext = Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|created by a COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|Artemis program}} is a series of planned space missions that will land people on the Moon and begin to set up infrastructure for a permanent crewed presence. People first landed on the Moon in 1969 as part of the {{w|Apollo program}}. They have not been back since 1972.

When {{w|Neil Armstrong}} became the first person to walk on the Moon, he famously said, "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." However, he was intending to say, "That's one small step for '''''a''''' man; one giant leap for mankind [emphasis added]." [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Frase_de_Neil_Armstrong.ogg The audio recording] omits the word "a", making the sentence confusing, as "man" and "mankind" have the same meaning when referring to all people. That it was apparently elided by Armstrong in the excitement, changing the meaning of the historical phrase, is controversial and thus humorous. Subsequently, Armstrong and others have blamed insufficiently tuned {{w|voice activity detection}} hardware circuitry intended to save power in radio voice transmission, but NASA engineers, third-party historians and their hired experts have never been able to corroborate that explanation.[https://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/alsj/a11/a11.step.html][http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003645.html] Armstrong later said he hoped, "history would grant me leeway for dropping the syllable and understand that it was certainly intended, even if it was not said," and, on p.126 of the June 1982 edition of ''Omni,'' "the 'a' is implied, so I'm happy if they just put it in parentheses."

[[Randall]] suggests that the first Artemis astronaut to set foot on the Moon has a duty to utter an even more confusing quote, saying the sentence, "This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the moon," aloud as they step onto the Moon. That would be confusingly self-referential, as if they were alluding to something from the past. This is very unlikely, and funny merely as a recommendation. If it actually happened, it might be both hilarious and scandalous.

The title text suggests an alternate phrase by which the Artemis astronaut could say being the first (rather than 13th) person on the Moon is a great honor. People hearing this quote in the future could assume that Artemis was the first crewed mission to the Moon. It could feed into contemporary conspiracy theories that the Apollo landings were faked, furthering the confusion.

=== Esoterica ===
* The {{w|schwa}} indefinite article "a" is optional in certain contexts of most dialects of American English.[https://linguapress.com/grammar/article-in-english.htm]
* While the comic's lunar lander has similarities to the {{w|Starship HLS|current plans}} for the Artemis lander,[https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/as-artemis-moves-forward-nasa-picks-spacex-to-land-next-americans-on-moon] it's a generic drawing, perhaps in homage to classic space science fiction, with the exit portal at an unlikely position near the base of the {{w|SpaceX Starship}} lander.[https://www.teslarati.com/spacex-starship-moon-elevator-nasa-prototype/]
* This comic coincides with the canceled launch of {{w|Artemis 1}}, an uncrewed test mission which will serve as the start of the Artemis program. The mission was intended to launch on 29 August 2022, and later on 3 September 2022, but was repeatedly postponed due to a series of technical problems and will now take place no earlier than late September 2022.
* In [[893: 65 Years]], Randall made a graph showing the number of living people who had been on the moon an estimated the day when zero would be alive. (Very depressing). At that time 9 of the 12 where still alive. Today at the time of this comics release is seems only four are still among the living. But with the Artemis project, it may not reach zero. It would be interesting if Randall would make an update of the comic after the first successful mission, to show that the graph is unlikely to reach zero any time soon, if they make it before the last four, rather old med, depart.

==Transcript==
:[A vertical rocket is standing on four deployed legs on the surface of the Moon. The surface is depicted with characteristic craters and rocks across a landscape with a slightly but clearly curved horizon. The rocket is standing in the left part of the panel. A short ladder, or set of steps, leads down from a hatch in the lower part of the rocket body. An astronaut has just stepped down from the latter onto the Moon's surface, and is delivering his first quote on the surface:]
:Astronaut: This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the Moon.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:Neil Armstrong's "man"/"a man" quote created a lot of historical confusion, and I think it's our duty to expand on that legacy with Artemis.

{{comic discussion}}

2668: Artemis Quote

2022-09-06T07:19:57Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ extremely unlikely and confusingly ungrammatical

{{comic
| number = 2668
| date = September 5, 2022
| title = Artemis Quote
| image = artemis_quote.png
| titletext = Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|created by a COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|Artemis program}} is a series of planned space missions that will land people on the Moon and begin to set up infrastructure for a permanent crewed presence. People first landed on the Moon in 1969 as part of the {{w|Apollo program}}. They have not been back since 1972.

When {{w|Neil Armstrong}} became the first person to walk on the Moon, he famously said, "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." However, he was intending to say, "That's one small step for '''''a''''' man; one giant leap for mankind [emphasis added]." [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Frase_de_Neil_Armstrong.ogg The audio recording] omits the word "a", making the sentence confusing, as "man" and "mankind" have the same meaning when referring to all people. That it was apparently elided by Armstrong in the excitement, changing the meaning of the historical phrase, is controversial and thus humorous. Subsequently, Armstrong and others have blamed insufficiently tuned {{w|voice activity detection}} hardware circuitry intended to save power in radio voice transmission, but NASA engineers, third-party historians and their hired experts have never been able to corroborate that explanation.[https://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/alsj/a11/a11.step.html][http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003645.html] Armstrong later said he hoped, "history would grant me leeway for dropping the syllable and understand that it was certainly intended, even if it was not said," and, on p.126 of the June 1982 edition of ''Omni,'' "the 'a' is implied, so I'm happy if they just put it in parentheses."

[[Randall]] suggests that the first Artemis astronaut to set foot on the Moon has a duty to utter an even more confusing quote, saying the sentence, "This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the moon," aloud as they step onto the Moon. That would be confusingly self-referential, as if they were alluding to something from the past. This is very unlikely, and funny merely as a recommendation. If it actually happened, it might be both hilarious and scandalous.

The title text suggests an alternate phrase by which the Artemis astronaut could say being the first (rather than 13th) person on the Moon is a great honor. People hearing this quote in the future could assume that Artemis was the first crewed mission to the Moon. It could feed into contemporary conspiracy theories that the Apollo landings were faked, furthering the confusion.

=== Esoterica ===
* The {{w|schwa}} indefinite article "a" is optional in certain contexts of most dialects of American English.[https://linguapress.com/grammar/article-in-english.htm]
* While the comic's lunar lander has similarities to the {{w|Starship HLS|current plans}} for the Artemis lander,[https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/as-artemis-moves-forward-nasa-picks-spacex-to-land-next-americans-on-moon] it's a generic drawing, perhaps in homage to classic space science fiction, with the exit portal at an unlikely position near the base of the {{w|SpaceX Starship}} lander.[https://www.teslarati.com/spacex-starship-moon-elevator-nasa-prototype/]
* This comic coincides with the canceled launch of {{w|Artemis 1}}, an uncrewed test mission which will serve as the start of the Artemis program. The mission was intended to launch on 29 August 2022, and later on 3 September 2022, but was repeatedly postponed due to a series of technical problems and will now take place no earlier than late September 2022.
* In [[893: 65 Years]], Randall made a graph showing the number of living people who had been on the moon an estimated the day when zero would be alive. (Very depressing). At that time 9 of the 12 where still alive. Today at the time of this comics release is seems only four are still among the living. But with the Artemis project is may not reach zero. It would be interesting if Randall would make an update of the comic after the first successful mission, to show that the graph is unlikely to reach zero any time soon, if they make it before the last four, rather old med, depart.

==Transcript==
:[A vertical rocket is standing on four deployed legs on the surface of the Moon. The surface is depicted with characteristic craters and rocks across a landscape with a slightly but clearly curved horizon. The rocket is standing in the left part of the panel. A short ladder, or set of steps, leads down from a hatch in the lower part of the rocket body. An astronaut has just stepped down from the latter onto the Moon's surface, and is delivering his first quote on the surface:]
:Astronaut: This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the Moon.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:Neil Armstrong's "man"/"a man" quote created a lot of historical confusion, and I think it's our duty to expand on that legacy with Artemis.

{{comic discussion}}

2668: Artemis Quote

2022-09-06T07:18:46Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ not even a fringe theory

{{comic
| number = 2668
| date = September 5, 2022
| title = Artemis Quote
| image = artemis_quote.png
| titletext = Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|created by a COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|Artemis program}} is a series of planned space missions that will land people on the Moon and begin to set up infrastructure for a permanent crewed presence. People first landed on the Moon in 1969 as part of the {{w|Apollo program}}. They have not been back since 1972.

When {{w|Neil Armstrong}} became the first person to walk on the Moon, he famously said, "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." However, he was intending to say, "That's one small step for '''''a''''' man; one giant leap for mankind [emphasis added]." [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Frase_de_Neil_Armstrong.ogg The audio recording] omits the word "a", making the sentence confusing, as "man" and "mankind" have the same meaning when referring to all people. That it was apparently elided by Armstrong in the excitement, changing the meaning of the historical phrase, is controversial and thus humorous. Subsequently, Armstrong and others have blamed insufficiently tuned {{w|voice activity detection}} hardware circuitry intended to save power in radio voice transmission, but NASA engineers, third-party historians and their hired experts have never been able to corroborate that explanation.[https://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/alsj/a11/a11.step.html][http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003645.html] Armstrong later said he hoped, "history would grant me leeway for dropping the syllable and understand that it was certainly intended, even if it was not said," and, on p.126 of the June 1982 edition of ''Omni,'' "the 'a' is implied, so I'm happy if they just put it in parentheses."

[[Randall]] suggests that the first Artemis astronaut to set foot on the Moon has a duty to utter an even more confusing quote, saying the sentence, "This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the moon," aloud as they step onto the Moon. That would be confusingly self-referential, as if they were alluding to something from the past. This is very unlikely, and funny merely as a recommendation. If it actually happened, it might be both hilarious and scandalous.

The title text suggests an alternate phrase by which the Artemis astronaut could say being the first (rather than 13th) person on the Moon is a great honor. People hearing this quote in the future could assume that Artemis was the first crewed mission to the Moon. It could feed into contemporary conspiracy theories that the Apollo landings were faked, furthering the confusion. It could also be interpreted as inviting the listener to fill in the unspoken continuation of "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon. To be the 13th is..." -- "meh"? "arguably bad luck"? "asking to be the butt of a 'baker's dozen' joke"?

=== Esoterica ===
* The {{w|schwa}} indefinite article "a" is optional in certain contexts of most dialects of American English.[https://linguapress.com/grammar/article-in-english.htm]
* While the comic's lunar lander has similarities to the {{w|Starship HLS|current plans}} for the Artemis lander,[https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/as-artemis-moves-forward-nasa-picks-spacex-to-land-next-americans-on-moon] it's a generic drawing, perhaps in homage to classic space science fiction, with the exit portal at an unlikely position near the base of the {{w|SpaceX Starship}} lander.[https://www.teslarati.com/spacex-starship-moon-elevator-nasa-prototype/]
* This comic coincides with the canceled launch of {{w|Artemis 1}}, an uncrewed test mission which will serve as the start of the Artemis program. The mission was intended to launch on 29 August 2022, and later on 3 September 2022, but was repeatedly postponed due to a series of technical problems and will now take place no earlier than late September 2022.
* In [[893: 65 Years]], Randall made a graph showing the number of living people who had been on the moon an estimated the day when zero would be alive. (Very depressing). At that time 9 of the 12 where still alive. Today at the time of this comics release is seems only four are still among the living. But with the Artemis project is may not reach zero. It would be interesting if Randall would make an update of the comic after the first successful mission, to show that the graph is unlikely to reach zero any time soon, if they make it before the last four, rather old med, depart.

==Transcript==
:[A vertical rocket is standing on four deployed legs on the surface of the Moon. The surface is depicted with characteristic craters and rocks across a landscape with a slightly but clearly curved horizon. The rocket is standing in the left part of the panel. A short ladder, or set of steps, leads down from a hatch in the lower part of the rocket body. An astronaut has just stepped down from the latter onto the Moon's surface, and is delivering his first quote on the surface:]
:Astronaut: This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the Moon.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:Neil Armstrong's "man"/"a man" quote created a lot of historical confusion, and I think it's our duty to expand on that legacy with Artemis.

{{comic discussion}}

2668: Artemis Quote

2022-09-06T07:16:50Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ esoteric

{{comic
| number = 2668
| date = September 5, 2022
| title = Artemis Quote
| image = artemis_quote.png
| titletext = Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|created by a COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|Artemis program}} is a series of planned space missions that will land people on the Moon and begin to set up infrastructure for a permanent crewed presence. People first landed on the Moon in 1969 as part of the {{w|Apollo program}}. They have not been back since 1972.

When {{w|Neil Armstrong}} became the first person to walk on the Moon, he famously said, "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." However, he was intending to say, "That's one small step for '''''a''''' man; one giant leap for mankind [emphasis added]." [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Frase_de_Neil_Armstrong.ogg The audio recording] omits the word "a", making the sentence confusing, as "man" and "mankind" have the same meaning when referring to all people. That it was apparently elided by Armstrong in the excitement, changing the meaning of the historical phrase, is controversial and thus humorous. Subsequently, Armstrong and others have blamed insufficiently tuned {{w|voice activity detection}} hardware circuitry intended to save power in radio voice transmission, but NASA engineers, third-party historians and their hired experts have never been able to corroborate that explanation.[https://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/alsj/a11/a11.step.html][http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003645.html] Armstrong later said he hoped, "history would grant me leeway for dropping the syllable and understand that it was certainly intended, even if it was not said," and, on p.126 of the June 1982 edition of ''Omni,'' "the 'a' is implied, so I'm happy if they just put it in parentheses."

[[Randall]] suggests that the first Artemis astronaut to set foot on the Moon has a duty to utter an even more confusing quote, saying the sentence, "This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the moon," aloud as they step onto the Moon. That would be confusingly self-referential, as if they were alluding to something from the past. This is very unlikely, and funny merely as a recommendation. If it actually happened, it might be both hilarious and scandalous.

The title text suggests an alternate phrase by which the Artemis astronaut could say being the first (rather than 13th) person on the Moon is a great honor. People hearing this quote in the future could assume that Artemis was the first crewed mission to the Moon. It could feed into contemporary conspiracy theories that the Apollo landings were faked, or that previous moon landings had been done by non-humans, furthering the confusion. It could also be interpreted as inviting the listener to fill in the unspoken continuation of "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon. To be the 13th is..." -- "meh"? "arguably bad luck"? "asking to be the butt of a 'baker's dozen' joke"?

=== Esoterica ===
* The {{w|schwa}} indefinite article "a" is optional in certain contexts of most dialects of American English.[https://linguapress.com/grammar/article-in-english.htm]
* While the comic's lunar lander has similarities to the {{w|Starship HLS|current plans}} for the Artemis lander,[https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/as-artemis-moves-forward-nasa-picks-spacex-to-land-next-americans-on-moon] it's a generic drawing, perhaps in homage to classic space science fiction, with the exit portal at an unlikely position near the base of the {{w|SpaceX Starship}} lander.[https://www.teslarati.com/spacex-starship-moon-elevator-nasa-prototype/]
* This comic coincides with the canceled launch of {{w|Artemis 1}}, an uncrewed test mission which will serve as the start of the Artemis program. The mission was intended to launch on 29 August 2022, and later on 3 September 2022, but was repeatedly postponed due to a series of technical problems and will now take place no earlier than late September 2022.
* In [[893: 65 Years]], Randall made a graph showing the number of living people who had been on the moon an estimated the day when zero would be alive. (Very depressing). At that time 9 of the 12 where still alive. Today at the time of this comics release is seems only four are still among the living. But with the Artemis project is may not reach zero. It would be interesting if Randall would make an update of the comic after the first successful mission, to show that the graph is unlikely to reach zero any time soon, if they make it before the last four, rather old med, depart.

==Transcript==
:[A vertical rocket is standing on four deployed legs on the surface of the Moon. The surface is depicted with characteristic craters and rocks across a landscape with a slightly but clearly curved horizon. The rocket is standing in the left part of the panel. A short ladder, or set of steps, leads down from a hatch in the lower part of the rocket body. An astronaut has just stepped down from the latter onto the Moon's surface, and is delivering his first quote on the surface:]
:Astronaut: This is one of my favorite historical quotes — the first words spoken by an Artemis astronaut on the Moon.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:Neil Armstrong's "man"/"a man" quote created a lot of historical confusion, and I think it's our duty to expand on that legacy with Artemis.

{{comic discussion}}

2638: Extended NFPA Hazard Diamond

2022-08-24T20:18:49Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ done

{{comic
| number = 2638
| date = June 27, 2022
| title = Extended NFPA Hazard Diamond
| image = extended_nfpa_hazard_diamond.png
| titletext = With most labs, the hushed horror stories are about something like dimethylmercury or prions, but occasionally you'll get a weird lab where it's about the soda machine or the drop ceiling.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic depicts an extension of the National Fire Protection Association's {{w|NFPA 704|NFPA 704 Standard System for the Identification of the Hazards of Materials for Emergency Response}} "fire diamond" emblematic insignia used to warn about the properties of hazardous substances inside a building, vehicle, room, cabinet, or container that are important during an emergency or accident, such as a fire, earthquake, spill or leak, bringing the diamond from 2x2 squares to 3x3 by adding five variously useful and humorous squares along the bottom edges.

The numbers in a normal NFPA 704 diamond do not specify values of substances' properties, but rather broad categories designating characteristics of the substances of greatest interest to {{w|first responders}} and hazardous materials cleanup crews. Randall's expanded diamond breaks with this convention, with several squares (Lilac, Orange, and Black) denoting absolute values, and one square (Green) denoting an economic value. This could very easily lead to documentation update headaches, especially since the Green square is mostly determined by supply and demand, and the Lilac square is linked to political outcomes. See explanation for each field in he extended square below in the [[#Table of extended diamond|table]].

The only easily identifiable substance which could likely meet the specific insignia numbers shown in the comic is {{w|thionyl chloride}} (SOCl2), a chlorinating reagent and solvent regulated as a chemical weapons precursor and sometimes used in the production of methamphetamine, which would also be represented with the '''<s>W</s>''' symbol inside the white square, indicating reactivity with water.

The title text (which references "scary stories" of the Black square) refers to {{w|dimethylmercury}} and {{w|prions}}. Dimethylmercury, C2H6Hg, is an organic form of mercury with an NFPA score of 4-4-3 (contact can be fatal, will burn below 73° F (22 °C), will combust if put under pressure). In 1997, an American chemist, {{w|Karen Wetterhahn}}, died 298 days after a few drops of C2H6Hg on her latex gloves were absorbed into her hand through the gloves, causing fatal mercury poisoning. Despite her having followed all safety protocols of the time, it was not then understood that the chemical was so toxic, nor that latex was so permeable to it. Prions are misfolded proteins that are responsible for a number of neurodegenerative diseases, including {{w|mad cow disease}} and {{w|chronic wasting disease}} in non-human animals and {{w|Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease}} in humans. These would indeed be the kind of substances that would scare those working with them in their labs; if an accident occurred, the results could be calamitous. See for example the case of [https://arstechnica.com/science/2021/07/second-lab-worker-with-deadly-prion-disease-prompts-research-pause-in-france/ Émilie Jaumain], a lab technician who died after accidentally coming into contact with prions in mouse tissue.

But a few labs have apparently had accidents involving a soda machine or {{w|dropped ceiling}}. The latter may be a reference to {{w|1978 smallpox outbreak in the United Kingdom|the death of Janet Parker}}: One inquiry found that she was infected with {{w|smallpox}} when a sample traveled upward from a lab on the floor below hers; however, other investigations have challenged that finding. There are occasional instances of vending machines causing injury or death, usually caused by people trying to shake or tilt the machines to get product out and having the machine tip and fall on them. On average, [https://www.cpsc.gov/Newsroom/News-Releases/1996/CPSC-Soda-Vending-Machine-Industry-Labeling-Campaign-Warns-Of-Deaths-And-Injuries a couple of Americans per year] are killed in this way. Reagents obtained in this way tend to have more impurities than those usually used in labs, but are relatively safe to shake.

===Table of extended diamond===
{| class="wikitable"
|+ Squares and explanations
|-
! Square !! Color !! Comic text !! Explanation
|-
!colspan=5| Real NFPA 704 diamond [http://www.ilpi.com/msds/ref/nfpa.html square and number meanings]
|-
| Top || Red || Flammability (0) || Denotes flammability. 0 indicates "materials that will not burn."
|-
| Top Left || Blue || Health Hazard (4) || Denotes the danger that the substance(s) pose to living beings in ways other than flammability and reactivity. 4 indicates that "Very short exposure could cause death or serious residual injury even though prompt medical attention was given."
|-
| Top Right || Yellow || Instability (2) || Denotes how stable the substance(s) are when exposed to water, heat, shock, air, or other substances. 2 indicates that "Normally unstable and will readily undergo violent decomposition but does not detonate. Also: may react violently with water or may form potentially explosive mixtures with water."
|-
| Center || White || (Special Hazard) || The standard's "Special Notice" field may contain a symbol denoting additional information about the substance(s), e.g., '''OX''' for {{w|oxidizer}}s, '''SA''' for simple {{w|asphyxiant}} gases such as nitrogen and helium, and <s>'''W'''</s> for substances which react dangerously with water.
|-
!colspan=5| After this point, all squares are made up by Randall.
|-
| Center Left || Green || Number of digits in the street value ($/gram) (2) || Describes the order of magnitude of the price (in USD) of one gram of the substance when sold illegally and informally. This is done on a logarithmic scale, with a '1' selling for $9/gram or less, a '2' selling for $10-$99/gram, and so on. As such this is the first of several squares where the number may presumably go to 5 or above (which is not allowed on the original Blue/Red/Yellow squares, as they do not denote strict numerical values). That said it's not immediately clear how substances which command <$1/gram would be handled.

Randall's example substance apparently sells for tens of dollars per gram (which would be similar to most common illicit drugs).
|-
| Center Right || Dark Purple || How much of a hassle it is to dispose of (4) || While many things can be thrown in the trash with no additional procedures, substances that merit an NFPA 704 square often require additional procedures to avoid significant danger, damage to the environment, or hefty dumping fines. Biohazards that may carry diseases are often disposed of in special containers, and nuclear materials are notoriously difficult to safely dispose of. This square would be at least theoretically useful, though not as much as the actual disposal guidelines.

If the numbering here follows the scheme of the real categories, Randall's example substance is about as hard to dispose of as it gets. This matches the substance's rating of 4 for Blue and 2 for Yellow. Presumably it requires highly specialized handling or processing, and may also very bulky or awkward to store.
|-
| Bottom Left || Lilac || Number of federal agencies who want to know if you have any (3) || In many countries, including Randall's home country, the USA, the government has agencies dedicated to controlling or limiting the use of regulated substances, due to their use as drugs, weapons, harm to the environment, etc. While any given substance might be of interest to one agency, something that is both an environmental hazard and a chemical weapon component could interest, for example, the {{w|EPA}}, {{w|Chemical Safety Board}} and the FBI Counter-terrorism Division.
|-
| Bottom Right || Orange || How many times you have to scrub your hands after touching it before they stop smelling weird (1) || While the real NFPA 704 chart describes properties ranging from unsafe to potentially deadly, this square describes a minor but very real inconvenience. Some things are harder to wash off your hands than others, and, given that most people don't often work with dangerous substances {{Citation Needed}}, this would be a more common, but less relevant, concern for many people.

In this case, the substance, or its residue, seems to be fairly easy to wash off. This is seemingly incongruous with its ratings in the Blue and Black squares (see below), though it's possible that this substance simply doesn't have a strong odor.
|-
| Bottom || Black || Number of times it's caused one of those terrifying lab accidents that chemists tell scary stories about late at night (2) || This square might show how concerned and careful someone should be in handling the substance in question, especially if the number is more than one. However, it would be dependent not just on how inherently dangerous the substance is, but also on how commonly it occurs in labs. It's also vague as to what kind of accidents it has been involved in and what precautions therefore need to be taken. It could, for example, have caused some terrifying reaction, destroying things around it, or it could be very large and unwieldy and liable to crush people if handled improperly.

In this case, it seems the substance has caused two such accidents, presumably on account of its high health risk of 4 in the Blue square, and may also be linked to its hazardous disposal score of 4 in the Purple square.
|}

==Transcript==
:[A diamond (a square on edge) is divided into 3x3 diamond squares. Each of the 9 squares have a unique color. All 8 squares along the sides have a large number written inside, in black except for in the black and the purple square where the number is written in white. The central square is white and have black text only. Each of the other eight squares have a label written on the outside with a curved arrow pointing to it from the label. Above it all is a heading:]
:<big>Know your extended NFPA hazard diamond:</big>

:[For each square the position and color is mentioned, from top to bottom in reading order. Then the text inside the square is given and then the label when there is one:]

:[Red top square]
:0 Flammability

:[Blue top-left square:]
:4 Health hazard

:[Yellow top-right square:]
:2 Instability/reactivity

:[Green center left square:]
:2 Number of digits in the street value ($/gram)

:[White center square:]
:(Special hazard)

:[Purple center right square:]
:4 How much of a hassle it is to dispose of

:[Pink bottom-left square:]
:3 Number of federal agencies who want to know if you have any

:[Orange bottom-right square:]
:1 How many times you have to scrub your hands after touching it before they stop smelling weird

:[Black bottom square:]
:2 Number of times it's caused one of those terrifying lab accidents that chemists tell scary stories about late at night

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]

2634: Red Line Through HTTPS

2022-08-24T20:17:30Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ done

{{comic
| number = 2634
| date = June 17, 2022
| title = Red Line Through HTTPS
| image = red_line_through_https.png
| titletext = Some organization has been paying to keep this up and it hasn't been removed from search results. Seems like two votes of confidence to me.
}}

==Explanation==

Some web browsers display https with a red line through it (<s>https</s>) to indicate that there is a problem with the HTTPS connection. The red line is supposed to be a clear warning to the user that the connection is not secure, and that anything about the site, or that you send to the site (like passwords) may be observed or modified in transit by anyone. This danger is true of HTTP connections as well, but HTTPS connections are used for secure communications such as banking and email.

In practice, some sites are misconfigured, or have not been updated to use newer security measures: this happens especially when security data called certificates expire before they are renewed, or when the user's clock is set to the wrong year. In these cases the red line through https is not from a malicious attack, but generally still indicate that the connection is vulnerable.

Before system and network compromise had become a means of international power, the primary concern around the HTTPS connection issue was whether or not the user was viewing the correct website, or one maliciously inserted by a blackhat neighbor or a virus. If there was a reasonable explanation for the problem, people would view the website anyway, and this habit became so normal that at times it became common for malicious actors to just rely on users to ignore the warning. Cueball takes this line of reasoning to the extreme, concluding that webpages with the red line are perhaps more likely to be safe than webpages that are more modern and supposed to be more secure.

Some may see the comic as sarcasm, that there are all these security measures in place, but people are not sure what to do when the flags are raised, maybe moreso when things become more established and complex.

When you see this red line, the proper thing to do is first to download the certificate and pin it in the system's store. This will raise a notice if it ever changes. For homemade certificates, called "self-signed", this is a normal situation. Nowadays self-signed certificates are no longer needed for normal public websites. The second thing to do is to contact the owner, and the community, via channels that are more secure, and engage the situation until it is properly addressed.

There are a wide variety of reasons why an HTTPS connection might not be secure. A list of reasons associated with dangerous misconfigurations can be found on badssl.com[https://badssl.com/]. An HTTPS certificate (which offers reassurance that your information won't be stolen by a third party) is free to set up at for example https://letsencrypt.org, and takes only a few minutes, although note that this is not a barrier for someone building a site intentionally to steal your information. A phisher could set up a site with HTTPS and have it trick you into giving up your info for some time before being caught and brought down. You can do this to your neighbor using free man-in-the-middle software, and they will be shown the red line indicating that you did so. The outdated-ness of the red line through the https refers to the situation of people not renewing their certificates when a site is abandoned; the expression mocks a common mistake of coming up with any relevant excuse to avoid the confusing situation of not being able to rely on https to verify you are communicating with the real website you visited.

The title text uses two very circumstantial (and not really dependable) details as if they were factors reinforcing the misplaced trust. For the first, you may perhaps think that if someone is still paying domain/hosting fees that they are still confident about their site's content. For the second, the search engines/archives appear to have not lost ''their'' confidence in it for whatever reason. There are problems with both these assumptions  , and it does little to restore sanity to the already shaky understanding being exhibited. It is misusing a norm of factors of trust, in sarcasm around poor security of the modern day.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat is sitting in an office chair at his desk facing his laptop while Cueball is standing behind him looking over his shoulder.]
:White Hat: What does the red line through https mean?
:Cueball: Oh, just that the site hasn't been updated since 2015 or so.
:Cueball: And since it's been around that long it means it's probably legit.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computer security]]
[[Category:Internet]]

2633: Astronomer Hotline

2022-08-24T20:17:05Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ done

{{comic
| number = 2633
| date = June 15, 2022
| title = Astronomer Hotline
| image = Astronomer Hotline.png
| titletext = Employment statistics have to correct for the fact that the Weird Bug Hotline hires a bunch of extra temporary staff every 17 years.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic is a joke about {{w|Helpline|helplines}}, and the experience of the skilled people staffing them, who often have to deal with callers with a much lower understanding of the subject, seeking assistance with things that may seem very basic from the point of view of the technician, or where they have completely misunderstood the nature of the issue.

The comic starts with someone having called the "Astronomer hotline", hence the title. Judging by the way the helpline employee, [[Cueball]], starts the call, by asking for a description of the weird lights, it is implied that this is the main/only purpose of the helpline, or is, in practice, the subject of most of the calls they receive.

The caller is in panic, and doesn't know how to describe the light. Cueball is used to this and asks the caller to stay calm, then starts to go through his checklist, asking them if it is daytime, because if it were, he might assume they have just noticed the Sun. Most people are familiar with the Sun{{Citation needed}} and would not need help in identifying it, although people have also mistaken the Moon for a 'mysterious light in the sky' at times. Asking this could thus seem very condescending, but it is like when the employee at a tech support hot-line asks if the computer is turned on, or if the caller tried to restart the computer, see [[806: Tech Support]]. It may also refer to the most immediate danger, as looking directly at the sun is a bad idea.

The caller is not affronted, but tells Cueball that the Sun has set. When asked if the lights are stationary, which stars would normally appear to be, the reply is that they are zipping around in the bushes.

At this point Cueball realizes that the caller has just seen {{w|fireflies}}, a family of insects commonly seen in temperate/tropical climates during the summer. He describes them for the caller as "lightning bugs" (another common epithet for these insects), "tree blinkers", or "ground stars" (unusual terms invented for this comic that seem to illustrate the Astronomer Hotline's unfamiliarity with fireflies); and says that these are not a problem, much to the caller's relief.[https://giphy.com/gifs/bbcamerica-seven-worlds-one-planet-Q7FbMX6oJa4ycuY5Hf] Those last two descriptions, especially "ground stars", are reminiscent of the "fool's stars" mentioned in [[2017: Stargazing 2]].

However, Cueball must admit that astronomers do not know much about fireflies, since they are too fast for the astronomers' telescopes. This refers to the problem of object tracking in astronomy. Sufficient observations must be taken to reliably predict the future path of an object, and thereby to be able to reorient the observing equipment to track its progress across the sky and make further observations. While the relative velocity of fireflies would be much lower than that of most astronomical bodies, their movement across the field of view tends to ''appear'' much quicker, being unusually close to the observer. This, combined with their erratic, unpredictable paths, would make them very difficult to track through a telescope.

Since Cueball cannot help further, he transfers the caller to the "Weird Bug Hotline", in a process that is apparently somewhat routine – enough to have the correct line somehow preprogrammed into his call-handling system. This is clearly not the first 'astronomy' query that actually concerns fireflies. This is similar to the process that might happen when a helpline caller's query cannot be handled by first line support and has to be passed on to a more specialized second line operator, or where the call has been routed to the wrong specialist to start with, perhaps because the user, lacking knowledge about the issue, selected the wrong option from an automated routing system.

Before the call ends, at Cueball's end, he hears the opening question from the other hotline ("Is it currently biting you?") as the new support tech again goes directly to the most common/important query, whether there is any immediate danger to be resolved... It is possible that Cueball will actually be speaking to the Weird Bugs line initially, quickly priming the Weird Bug call-handler with the salient facts already established before fully handing over the call. This could get the original caller straight into the correct conversation if the onward line's handler is sufficiently competent and experienced in such a transfer.

Some people (often {{w|Unidentified flying object|UFO}} enthusiasts) tend to get a little over-excited about calling every light in the sky they don't expect a UFO. This comic takes this to the extreme, where someone calls a helpline because they saw fireflies, and thought they were UFOs. While UFOs are not mentioned by name, they are heavily implied. Technically, such a person would be correct, so long as the lights are actually unidentified, flying and caused by a physical object, but if the expectation is that it is an extraterrestrial spacecraft then the truth (if discovered and also accepted) can be disappointing to some people, rather than lead to an interesting alternative avenue of appreciation of whatever phenomenon it truly is.

The title text is a reference to bugs that have gaps of several years between emerging from their larval state. Most famous are the {{w|Periodical cicadas}}, 13- and 17-year cicadas, that only emerge every 13 or 17 years, depending on species. The 17 years in the title text thus refers to the 17-year cicadas. Every 17 years the bug hotline hires a bunch of temporary staff, either because there will be more callers due to the unexpected new bug no one has seen for 17 years, or it could be because they just like to emulate nature and thus do this every 17 years. Or alternately, the 17-year cicadas may just like to gather inside a trench coat and apply for jobs answering calls about weird bugs. The largest 17-year cicada appearance in the USA is called {{W|Brood X}} which last occurred in 2021 and before that 2004. [https://cicadas.uconn.edu/broods/ There are smaller broods in other years], but the majority come out with 17 years interval, and the next is expected in 2038. The joke in the title text is that the employment statistics for the weird hotline have to correct for this fact, a reference to the decennial {{w|United States census}}, which involves so many people as to affect aggregate employment statistics. Periodical cicadas have been mentioned before in [[2263: Cicadas]], see details about them in that comics [[2263:_Cicadas#Trivia|trivia section]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, with a headset on, is sitting in an office chair at a desk in front of his computer screen, hands on the keyboard. He receives a call, and the caller's voice is shown in a jagged frame above Cueball, between his two lines of text.]
:Cueball: Hello, Emergency Astronomer Hotline. How would you describe the lights?
:Caller on phone: ''I don't know! Help!''
:Cueball: Stay calm. Is it day? If so, that's the Sun.

:[Cueball is now seen en face with the headset, but the computer etc. is not shown. The caller's voice is now written normally but with zigzag lines going to the text from Cueball's headphone. Cueball's reply has a normal line going up to it.]
:Caller on phone: No, the Sun set and then the light appeared!
:Cueball: Hmm, could be stars. Are they stationary?
:Caller on phone: No, they're all zipping around bushes.

:[In a frameless panel, the setting returns to the one from the first panel, with the caller's voice in jagged frames again.]
:Cueball: ''Aha!'' Fireflies!
:Caller on phone: "Fireflies"?
:Cueball: Lightning bugs. Tree blinkers. Ground stars.
:Cueball: They're fine.
:Caller on phone: ''Phew!''

:[Same setting as first panel, but broader panel. After Cueball's reply and a short reply from the caller as in the first panel, there is a sound indicating transfer to another hotline. Then to the right there is a square panel with jagged edge, with the voice from the other hotline's employee.]
:Cueball: We don't know much about them as they're too fast for our telescopes, but I can transfer you to the Weird Bug Hotline.
:Caller on phone: Sure, thanks.
:Transfer of call. *''Click''*
:Weird Bug Hotline on phone: ''Hi, Weird Bug Hotline. Is it currently biting you?''

==Trivia==
*The UK Military had a UFO helpline for over 50 years. [[https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna34277625 Link]]
**The US took up that mantle by requesting UAP ({{w|Unidentified Aerial Phenomena}}) reports in 2021.[https://www.dni.gov/index.php/newsroom/reports-publications/reports-publications-2021/item/2223-preliminary-assessment-unidentified-aerial-phenomena]
*This comic has a lot of themes that have been touched on in previous comics, including
**Helplines [[278: Black Hat Support]], [[806: Tech Support]]
**People not understanding basic concepts [[876: Trapped]]
**Cicadas [[2263: Cicadas]]

{{comic discussion}}


[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Animals]]

2631: Exercise Progression

2022-08-24T20:16:44Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ done

{{comic
| number = 2631
| date = June 10, 2022
| title = Exercise Progression
| image = exercise progression.png
| titletext = They said after I got into a routine, I'd enjoy getting progressively stronger and stop whining so much about how hard exercise was. Well, they were half right!
}}

==Explanation==

The arrows on the graph progress from left to right on the axis for "workout difficulty", showing that as people exercise (both normal people, and [[Randall]]), their bodies become stronger and able handle more difficult workouts.

The "normal progression over time" arrow in the graph shows how, when normal people unaccustomed to exercise first start out, it is perceived as unpleasant, for a variety of reasons: it takes time from the day, causes them to become sweaty and hot, feels particularly difficult, causes sore muscles, and so forth. Over time, as their body becomes accustomed to the exercise and can take on higher exercise loads, increasing muscle strength and endurance, so too does the brain, increasing both the amount of dopamine in the brain, and the number of dopamine receptors, as well as other positive changes. This means the "enjoyment" rewards from exercise begin to dominate, and exercise becomes a pleasant pastime, rather than a tedious, time-consuming and perhaps painful slog. This naturally causes a related reduction in whining.

The "my progression over time" arrow shows that while his body is becoming accustomed to the exercise just like any other, Randal whines linearly with the exercise difficulty. This could be because he is not neurochemically rewarded in the same way. Randall has implied he suffers from [[1106: ADD|ADD]], and this is a common symptom, caused by an excess of dopamine transporters in the brain carrying away the dopamine before it can activate the receptors.

It could also be because there are other downsides to exercising that he cares about more than the enjoyment; for example, if his exercise duration increases linearly with difficulty, and he values his time highly, that could cause a linear increase in whining with difficulty. Or since there is no scale for time on the graph, it could be that Randall has significantly misjudged the timescale of the effect (another common symptom of ADHD), and has only just begun his exercising journey: he may simply not realize that the neurological changes will take longer than the muscular ones, so he is seeing his muscles get stronger but has not yet reached the downturn in whining. Or he might just enjoy whining, and have more strength for lengthy whining sessions as his fitness increases.

Since the strip does not give information about the content of his whining, duration of exercise regimen, etc, the specific cause of the difference in whining behavior cannot be identified from the strip alone, though in the context of other strips, it is likely to be a real effect of neurodiversity.

The title text refers to the common response to such whining by people who '''are''' neurochemically rewarded by exercise, and have reached the bottom right of the graph: that getting stronger through an exercise routine will become its own reward, leading to a reduction in whining. Randal's statement that they were "half right", together with the graph, implies that he does indeed enjoy the rightward progression on the graph as he gets stronger and is able to take on increasingly difficult exercise; but that despite their reassurances, his whining has ramped up linearly with the exercise difficulty no matter how well-accustomed to it his body becomes.

To give an idea of the scale of time on the graph, a common rule of thumb is that while gains in strength can be seen within weeks (the stretch of the graph where both arrows rise), it can take months for a neurotypical mind (and its body) to acclimate to a serious change and begin to reap the rewards{{Actual citation needed}} (the falling area on the graph). Military boot camps are 6-13 weeks.

The strip may also be a pun, where the "normal progression" arrow traces out half of a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normal_distribution normal curve].

==Transcript==
:[A graph is shown with labelled axis, and arrows at the tip of each axis. There are two thick arrows plotted, both starting mid-range on the Y-axis, one of them goes upwards at a constant angle of about 40°. The other, which lies over the first mentioned where they overlap close to the Y-axis, first rises a bit before it bends downward and then after having increased its downward bend for a bit it changes to a continuously lower down bending rate and seemingly converges towards a constant y-value close to zero before the end of the graph. Both arrows tip ends at the end of the X-axis. Inside each arrow there is a label.]
:Y-axis: How much you whine and complain about doing exercise"
:X-axis: Workout difficulty
:Upwards arrow: My progression over time
:Downwards arrow: Normal progression over time

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]

2630: Shuttle Skeleton

2022-08-24T20:15:48Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ done

{{comic
| number = 2630
| date = June 8, 2022
| title = Shuttle Skeleton
| image = shuttle_skeleton.png
| titletext = It's believed to be related to the Stellar Sea Cow.
}}

==Explanation==
The Space Shuttle was a reusable spacecraft system used by {{w|NASA}} from 1981 to 2011, after which it was decommissioned. In this comic, Randall suggests that the nature of the shuttle was in doubt or misunderstood until either an intact 'specimen' (of which there are four) had been dissected, or possibly the remains were reassembled from the two that were [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yibNEcn-4yQ lost in accidents].

With its shape, shown in the small image, and the tail fin, it looks a bit like a {{w|Osteichthyes|bony fish}} or {{w|Batoidea|ray}}. The joke is that after the shuttle was taken out of use, its skeleton was analyzed, and as shown in the comic, was found to have a skeleton typical of a mammal, with details such as the pentadactyl quadripedal bodyform hidden beneath its aerodynamic sweep, as well as having bones (i.e., not primarily cartilage). This morphology is similar to that possessed by a whale. However, it should be noted that the skeleton has several features not found in mammals, e.g. the ribcages extending all the way to the pelivs and past the shoulder these features are more reminiscent of snakes. Of course, the skeleton of a spacecraft is not made of bones, but rather of [https://www.nytimes.com/2003/04/22/science/inquiry-focuses-on-skeletons-of-space-shuttles.html metal] and other manufactured materials.

As the understanding of the natural world developed, many taxonomic misconceptions were overturned, or at least the scientific terminology was tightened. For instance, it was found that dolphins and whales were mammals, not fish.[''{{what if|156|cetacean needed}}''] Because of convergent evolution – the tendency for distantly-related species to adapt similarly to a given environment – it is often not easy to properly classify organisms merely by observing their exterior. For example, whales and fish have very similar body shapes, as did the extinct plesiosaurs, because life as a swimming vertebrate favors the same adaptations. In lieu of genetic analysis, or even of sufficient observation of them in the wild, the main progress in understanding differences among marine animals was often in dissecting the corpses of creatures found stranded or caught in nets, or reconstructing them from skeletal remains. Together with fossil evidence, insights were developed about their origins and differences from others' origins.

The title text conflates the now-extinct {{w|Steller's sea cow}}, an aquatic mammal related to manatees and named after explorer/zoologist Georg Steller [https://www.britannica.com/biography/Georg-W-Steller (also extinct)], with the adjective "stellar", which means being of a star or stars, such as inter-stellar space or stellar masses. While this conflation is often done accidentally, due to the name Steller being much rarer than the adjective "stellar," in this case it is probably an intentional pun.

One might expect that the idea for this comic may have come from the recent California Supreme Court ruling that [https://www.wsj.com/articles/when-is-a-bumblebee-a-fish-when-a-california-court-says-so-11654611927?st=umo4uckleempt0e&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink bumblebees are considered fish] under a law which categorized several other invertebrates as part of a broad colloquial category of fish (as in "Fish and Game Department" designations.) However, given the short time between the ruling and the comic's release, it is likely that this was a coincidence.

The comic also prominently conflates biology with artifice, a budding and controversial concept in these times of rapid AI use and research.

==Transcript==
:[In the upper right part of the panel there is a small drawing of the Space Shuttle as seen from above. Beneath it, and to its left, is a much larger drawing with the same outline as the Shuttle. But this time the outer layers have been removed to reveal the inside. This has revealed a skeleton taking up the entire space inside. The head is in the front, and legs and tail at the rear, with arms and fingers in the wings, looking somewhat like a bat's "hand/wings". The bones are white with the frame of the shuttle gray or black. Some of the lines outlining the design of the shuttle are both on the small and the large drawing, along the wings and rear engines. Both feet and arms have five fingers/toes. There seem to be 24 ribs in the very long rib-cage.]

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:The Space Shuttle was long assumed to be a type of fish or shark, but after it was decommissioned in 2011, analysis of its skeleton determined that it was actually a mammal.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Space]]

2629: Or Whatever

2022-08-24T20:14:02Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ done

{{comic
| number = 2629
| date = June 6, 2022
| title = Or Whatever
| image = or_whatever.png
| titletext = Oh yeah, I didn't even know they renamed it the Willis Tower in 2009, because I know a normal amount about skyscrapers.
}}

==Explanation==

The {{w|Willis Tower}} (formerly the Sears Tower) is a 108-story, 442.1 meter skyscraper in Chicago. It is currently the third tallest building in North America, and was indeed the tallest building in the world for 25 years, surpassing the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} upon opening in 1973, and being surpassed by the {{w|Petronas Towers}} upon their opening in 1998.

[[White Hat]] conveys some interesting historical trivia to [[Cueball]], regarding the {{w|Sears Tower}}. Cueball then sets the record straight by correcting White Hat's use of the word tower: In the category of 'tower', the Willis Tower was never the tallest. Cueball then realizes he just one-upped White Hat with what ''he'' knows about tall structures in general, which might make him sound obsessive, so he tags on the meaningless caveat of "or whatever".

This is meant to diffuse the tension he may have added by his well-meaning contradiction, but could also be taken as a passive-aggressive behaviour by interlocutors who may already be touchy about the original 'correction'.

In the title-text, being already self-conscious that he has overstepped the mark for polite smalltalk, he then hypercorrects the self-perceived tone of his response by explicitly denying that he knows far more about the tower, but only by providing the very facts that he is trying to claim not to know. Alternately, this could be White Hat responding to something else Cueball said, as an annoyed way to either get Cueball to stop, or to make a point that Cueball knows more than is "normal" about skyscrapers.

This comic hinges on the [https://www.engineersupply.com/What-is-the-difference-between-building-and-construction.aspx debate] about the tallest structure vs tallest ''building''. A {{w|building}} is generally defined as a human-built structure ''fit for human habitation'' when it is fit for human habitation, while a {{w|structure}} is generally defined as anything humans make. (Or in some cases, anything an animal makes, like [[2418: Metacarcinization|crab shells.]])

It is far from unusual for the tallest building (habitable) to be shorter than the tallest structure (uninhabitable), such as in 1974 when the tallest structure was the {{w|Warsaw radio mast}} at 646.38 meters. The radio mast was uninhabitable,{{Citation needed}} so the tallest building was (sort-of coincidentally) the Sears Tower at 442.1 meters. The Warsaw tower collapsed in 1991, so it was not the tallest structure for the majority of the '90s.

After the Warsaw Tower's demise, the {{w|KVLY-TV mast}}, which stood at 629 meters, held the record of tallest structure until either 2000 or 2010, with the opening of the {{w|Petronius (oil platform)|Petronius platform}} and {{w|Burj Khalifa}} respectively. (The date depends on whether you count underwater towers, as the Petronius platform is an oil rig and only 75 meters of the platform are above water). It was also the tallest Guyed mast up until 2019, when it was reduced to 605.6 meters, giving the {{w|KRDK-TV mast}} the record.

The {{w|CN tower}} stands at 553.3 meters (Measured from top of spire), which is higher than the Sears/Willis tower but shorter than the KVLT-TV mast. It is mentioned as is has some habitable space but not much, causing debate about whether it is a building (Referenced below). It was never the tallest structure, but if it's a building it would have been the tallest in the world from it's opening in 1976 until the {{w|Canton Tower}}'s in 2009. It is currently the 9th tallest building.

The debate surrounding the tallest building does not stop at building vs structure. Architects have long argued about what the height definition of a building should be. Should it include antennas sitting at the top of the building? How about spires that form part of the architectural design of the building but are not part of the habitable space? Should we focus instead on the highest habitable floor? The debate has historically had relevance every time a new record is claimed by developers eager to reach new heights using any means possible ([https://www.npr.org/2013/11/08/243714332/size-does-matter-at-least-in-the-tallest-building-debate Size Does Matter, At Least In The Tallest Building Debate]).

There is yet more debate about what counts as a building vs a structure. While some people would say that any structure with any habitable space is a building, most people in the field agree that there is a certain threshold of habitable space, below which there is not enough habitable space to count as a "building", even if there is some.

A main point in this debate are {{w|Radio masts and towers|TV towers}}, which are often tall towers with little habitable space in them, but with an observation deck at the top. Examples include the {{w|Tokyo Skytree}}, {{w|Fernsehturm Stuttgart}}, and CN tower. A similar structure is the {{w|Dubai Creek Tower}}, a tower under construction in Dubai, set to become the world's tallest structure. (The Dubai Creek Tower will not, however, broadcast tv signals).

TV towers are sometimes counted as buildings as they do have some habitable space. However, they are often not as they are commonly considered to not have enough habitable space to be buildings, hence Cueball's line "The CN tower isn't always considered a building"

{{w|List of tallest structures|Wikipedia lists}} the tallest structures, and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkMWb_8IiB4 this YouTube video] explains a bit more about tall buildings/structures. Since 2010 the Burj Khalifa has been both the tallest structure and the tallest building in the world.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat and Cueball are looking out on a skyline with six smaller skyscrapers and one much taller. The tall building has three plateaus, where it gets thinner before the top. On the top there are also two tall antennas, one twice as high as the other. Around the buldings therare 7 small clouds and two distant birds flying next tot he top of the tallest building. The two are standing on a ground behind a fence, maybe a viewing point, for looking in over the city skyline. They are looking toward the tallest bulding.]
:White Hat: You know, back in the 90s, the Sears Tower was the world's tallest tower.
:Cueball: Yeah! Or "building." The CN Tower and the KVLY-TV Antenna were taller, but the CN Tower isn't always considered a building and the antenna is supported by guy wires or whatever.

:[Caption below the panel]:
:Whenever I get self-conscious about how obsessive I sound about some random topic, I panic and tack on "or whatever."

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]

2628: Motion Blur

2022-08-24T20:13:27Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ done

{{comic
| number = 2628
| date = June 3, 2022
| title = Motion Blur
| image = motion_blur.png
| titletext = I can't speak for your other subjects, but MY motion was as smooth and natural as the framerate allowed.
}}

==Explanation==
[[White Hat]] is recording a video while rotating (''panning'') the camera. [[Cueball]] notices that the camera's shutter speed is too fast, which could cause the result to look unnatural or like a sequence of still images instead of like smooth motion when turning the camera. Cueball decides to solve this problem by making himself blurrier than normal, counteracting the problems of the high shutter speed.

This is analogous to something much more common that people do, by practicing moving their bodies relative to the motion of the camera: reducing blur when the shutter speed is too low.

The title text refers to the fact that only ''one'' object - in this case, Cueball - appearing blurry while everything else in the frame is sharp is even more exotic. It can also be seen as a celebration and sarcasm regarding the rare experience of valuing having exotic knowledge and skills. It seems likely Randall has practiced reducing blur, but not succeeded at increasing it, and was possibly exposed to somebody saying "high" shutter speed when they meant "low" shutter speed, but this is presently unverified.

This is somewhat similar to a trick 'used' by {{w|Flash (DC Comics character)#Jay_Garrick|some fictional characters}} who have the power to make themselves unclear to observers or cameras alike. In real-life it is the difference between "stop motion" and "go motion" tricks.

When light hits a human's retina, it is perceived for a short while even after the light has ceased. This means that objects moving across a human's field of vision at a sufficient speed will naturally appear blurry – in our perception, the light arriving right now from the trailing part of the object will mix with the light that arrived a moment earlier, from the leading part of the object.

A camera's shutter speed is the amount of time that the shutter is open for each frame, allowing the image sensor to capture light. If the shutter speed is too high (relative to the frame-rate), this blurring will not occur, and the motion will look unnaturally crisp – if something is too small and/or too quick, the illusion of motion may disappear altogether; the object instead will appear as a brief flash of multiple objects standing still, like in the case of a fast-moving mouse cursor on a screen. See for instance this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9bv00ZA-ao Videography - Slow Shutter Speed vs. Fast Shutter Speed Comparison].

In cinema, the shutter speed is generally set to double the frame-rate, e.g. 1/48 s for footage shot at 24 fps (one of the lowest standard frame-rates, a remnant from the age of mechanical motion picture cameras and film projectors).

An opposing problem is that of a camera not sufficiently matching the relative motion of a moving object, with a shutter speed that is too slow (and may need to be, given the choice of aperture and lighting conditions). Sports photographers must learn how to scan-and-pan their subjects (runners, horses, vehicles, etc) with enough synchronicity to capture them sharply, and possibly seemingly hanging frozen in mid-air against an artistically-blurred background.

It is unclear how Cueball makes the motion blur include both his feet, as the friction with the ground should hinder them from vibrating horizontally in the manner that may cause for motion blur. Additionally, creating the kind of motion blur he does (with evenly distributed horizontal blur) requires extreme acceleration at both ends of the movement.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat is holding a camera up to his face looking to the left away from Cueball and Ponytail standing to his right. Cueball is holding one hand, with a balled up fist, up towards White Hat]
:White Hat: Okay, I'm going to pan around.
:Cueball: No, wait, your shutter speed is too fast, it will look choppy if—

:[White Hat turns clockwise towards Cueball and Ponytail, with the camera held up partly behind his head, so it points in the panel. Cueball clenches both his fists, held down now, and hunches his shoulders. Ponytail stands as before next to him.]
:Cueball: <big>''Hnnnnngh''</big>

:[White Hat has turned around and is now pointing the camera towards Cueball and Ponytail. Cueball now appears blurry while Ponytail looks normal.]

:[Caption below panel:]
:Expert photographers can learn to generate their own motion blur to compensate for other people's bad camera settings.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Photography]]

495: Secretary: Part 2

2022-08-13T17:01:25Z

172.69.33.207: corrected transcript

{{comic
| number = 495
| date = October 28, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 2
| image = secretary part 2.png
| titletext = That helmet won't save him.
}}

==Explanation==
Whenever something big happens the news, media likes to have at least two things: interviews with people who are the news, and on-the-scene reporters. In this case, [[Blondie]] as a [[:Category:News anchor|news anchor]] is shown to begin with talking about [[Black Hat]], and she has even been out at his house. Even if those reporters are simply standing in front of a building that something happened in, they have to be on-scene. To thwart the media (and probably everyone else), Black Hat has built a {{w|moat}} around his apartment building. The second reporter is on-the-scene from the Internet, or rather, one of its darkest corners: {{w|4chan}}. In more detail, 4chan is a collection of image boards that act somewhat like forums, where users go to share images. The different boards are named by their "folder" structure, for lack of a better term. Therefore, the name /b/ comes from its URL: 4chan.org/b/. Pronounced "slash bee" (because the second forward slash is not necessary), /b/ is the "random" board, where anything goes, where anything is the superset of all sets, as in anything. Absolutely. Anything. As in, going more than two seconds without seeing pornographic content or hateful slurs is almost unheard of. /b/ is also the one that gets the most publicity, because it has started many of the {{w|meme}}s [http://knowyourmeme.com/] on the Internet, as well as the birthplace of {{w|Anonymous (group)|Anonymous}}. The chaotic nature of the forums explains why the title text suggests that the reporter isn't safe, even though he is wearing a helmet. In fact, a goofy helmet like that is liable to get the trolls on him faster than if he didn't have it. This may be a {{w|Densha Otoko}}[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Densha_Otoko_(TV_series)] reference, which features helmet-wearing /b/ members.

{{w|Ron Paul}} is a man who was a U.S. Representative for Texas at the time. At the time the comic was published, he was running, for the second time, for {{w|President of the United States}}.

A {{w|haberdasher}} is a person who sells small articles of clothing that have been or can be sewed. In modern English, a haberdashery (where a haberdasher would work) is a place that sells hats. This could be a reference to former President {{w|Harry S. Truman}}, who operated a failed haberdashery in the early 1920s.

Ron Paul's 2008 presidential campaign did, in fact, use a {{w|blimp}} that was named the {{w|Ron_Paul_presidential_campaign,_2008#Ron_Paul_Blimp|Ron Paul Blimp}}. However, despite their elegant appearance, blimps are not a very fast way to travel.

The images on the /b/ board behind the reporter are:
*[https://youtu.be/ZWwMre0PuTQ "'''A'''yyy"], a common exclamation by the character {{w|Fonzie}} from the TV show ''{{w|Happy Days}}'', usually while giving {{w|Thumb signal|two thumbs up}}.
*{{w|/b/|/'''b'''/}}, the "random" {{w|Internet forum|discussion board}} on 4chan.
*A {{w|Compact disc|'''C'''ompact '''D'''isc}} (or "CD"), a plastic disc for {{w|Optical disc|optical}} {{w|Data storage|data storage}}.
*[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/epic-fail-guy '''E'''pic '''F'''ail '''G'''uy], a {{w|Internet meme|meme}} that originated on 4chan, of a {{w|Stick figure|stick-figure}} character (often wearing a {{w|Guy Fawkes mask}}) who fails at everything he tries.
Together, the initial letters of these items spell out "'''ABCDEFG'''".

The title text states that the second reporter (Tom)'s helmet won't help him, though from what, it is unclear as he himself stated he wasn't sure why he was wearing the helmet.

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[Blondie as a news anchor sitting behind a desk is reading from a paper she holds in her hands. There is a picture of Black Hat on a screen behind her. There is a caption below the picture.]
:Blondie: Breaking news—the President has made a nomination to the new post of Internet Secretary. We know little about the man, shown here.
:Caption: Possibly a haberdasher?

:[Blondie keeps talking over a scene showing her standing with a microphone in front of a water-filled moat that has been dug between the road and a house. A small stair up to the house is just on the other side of the moat. Behind her is Cueball with a large TV camera on his shoulder pointing towards her and the house.]
:Blondie (narrating): Attempts to reach the nominee at home were unsuccessful.
:Blondie: What the hell kind of apartment has a moat?

:[Back to Blondie behind her desk, the paper is gone, and she leans one arm on the desk. There is no screen behind her.]
:Blondie: To understand the culture from which he came — and which he may soon administer — we sent a reporter to what we're told is the source of that culture.
:Blondie: Tom?

:[This panel is much larger than the three previous panels and partly hidden behind the last. Tom, looking like Cueball with a military helmet with camouflage marks strapped under his chin, holds a large microphone in front of him while standing in front of a large screen. The screen shows a message board with four picture posts. Each picture has a text to the right, but those are unreadable scribbles. The top drawing is of a man with wild hair who holds out his hands with thumbs up. The next is text. Then there is a circle with a smaller circle in the middle and at the bottom what appears to be a Cueball-like man with a fencing mask. Blondie still speaks to him from off-panel left.]
:Tom: I'm coming to you live from the 4chan /b/ board. Despite the tube cloggage, nascent memes are flying fast and furious.
:Blondie (off-panel): Why are you wearing a helmet, Tom?
:Tom: I'm not sure.
:Image with text only: /b/

:[Ponytail is sitting in front of a large control unit using the two levers coming out of it from below two buttons that are again below the lit screen. A voice comes from off-panel left. Above the top of the panels frame, there is a frame with a caption:]
:Meanwhile in Ron Paul's blimp.
:Ron Paul (off-panel): Ahoy! What news of the blogs?

:[Zoom out showing Ponytail, who has turned around on her office chair away from the controls towards Ron Paul drawn like Cueball but with a cane. She holds up a piece of paper with a small square insert visible at the top. Apart from that, it is white.]
:Ponytail: Dr. Paul! The President's named his nominee!
:Ron Paul: It's not me?

:[Ron Paul's blimp is shown from the outside. His voice can be seen coming from the airship. There is text on the blimp, with the four letters after the first written mirrored to spell another word.]
:Ron Paul (from inside the blimp): Wait! I remember that guy from the campaign! He's a notorious troll!
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Back inside the blimp, Ron Paul points to Ponytail, while his other hand is lifted to his chin. His cane leans against his legs. Ponytail looks at him from her chair, the paper now held in her lap.]
:Ron Paul: They mustn't put him in charge. Quick, call the capitol!

:[Ponytail turns around on her chair towards the controls and takes hold of one of the sticks. Ron Paul has taken the cane in his hand again.]
:Ponytail: Can't, sir. The tubes just went down completely.
:Ron Paul: Blast!

:[Ponytail now holds onto both sticks as Ron Paul lifts his cane up into the air pointing away from her up and right.]
:Ron Paul: Then we'll go ourselves. Full speed ahead!

:[A full view of the blimp hanging in the air to the left over a broad landscape. There seems to be a small lake just in front of the blimp. The horizon is shown all along this full width panel, and after the lake, there are five small mountain peaks, two behind the three in front. After the last of these, there follow one more peak and a small mound. Features are shown on the ground. In the air in front of the blimp, there are a small cloud inside the panel at the end of the lake and a large cloud breaking the upper frame over the end of the five mountains stretching over the next peak and mound.]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely, taking the tip clearly over the lake. Beat panel #1]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely again. Beat panel #2]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image, but now the two speak from within the blimp. The blimp has again advanced minutely so the gondola below the blimp is now also almost at the edge of the lake.]
:Ron Paul: I said full speed!
:Ponytail: It's a blimp, sir.
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|02]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]] 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:News anchor]]
[[Category:Airships]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Politics]]

2652: Proxy Variable

2022-08-13T02:37:50Z

172.69.33.207: /* Examples of noteworthy proxy variables */ in the news

{{comic
| number = 2652
| date = July 29, 2022
| title = Proxy Variable
| image = proxy_variable.png
| titletext = Our work has produced great answers. Now someone just needs to figure out which questions they go with.
}}

__NOTOC__

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Hairy]] is discussing use of a proxy variable with [[Cueball]]. In statistics, a {{w|proxy variable}} is used as a stand-in for one or more other variables that are difficult to measure. In order to be useful as such, proxy variables must be correlated with what they are intended to represent. For example, a drug might aim to reduce deaths from a slow-acting disease. But testing if it reduces deaths might take many years, so researchers might test for a proxy outcome instead, like whether it results in loss of bone density or damage to cells. Physicians use blood pressure as one of many proxies for cardiovascular health.

Hairy is dismissing the question of whether they are studying the right variable as too expensive to answer. This is deeply ironic and thus satirical, because good {{w|experiment design}} requires sufficient attention to the robustness of all the involved parts of an experiment, even if the expense may be prohibitive. This comic might be referring to the recent discovery of [https://www.science.org/content/article/potential-fabrication-research-images-threatens-key-theory-alzheimers-disease nearly two decades] of allegedly fraudulent {{w|Alzheimer's disease}} research supporting a mistaken proxy hypothesis.

Choosing the wrong proxy variable might make the research misleading, irrelevant, or as the title text suggests, answer the wrong question. Separating correlation from {{w|Causality|causation}} is necessary when interpreting proxy variable results to make sure the question they answer is known. Mere correlation instead of {{w|Causal analysis|authentic causation}} yields weaker results. {{w|Exploratory causal analysis}} can assist with finding useful proxy variables, but is difficult for the layperson to interpret and can be misleading, because even if performed correctly, a {{w|combinatorial explosion}} of possible proxy variables can make traditional {{w|statistical significance}} analysis fail, requiring {{w|F-score}}s or similar measures. The history of pharmaceutical research is largely a graveyard of failed proxy hypotheses; that is one of the reasons for [https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/manage-recs/fdaaa experiment registration regulations.]

The title text's notion of having an answer without knowing the actual question could also be be a reference to the classic comedy science fiction novel {{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}, where in one scene Earth turns out to be a supercomputer built for the purpose of figuring out the question for the answer "42."

=== Examples of noteworthy proxy variables ===

* Loss of bone density or damage to cells for toxicity
* Blood pressure for cardiovascular health
* Amyloid markers for Alzheimer's disease

* Local temperature for global warming severity
* GDP growth for development (demolishing a hospital adds to GDP but subtracts from development)
* Money supply size for price inflation (see e.g. the {{w|paradox of thrift}})
* {{W|Carbonic anhydrase}} expression for carbon sequestration
* Asphalt production for carbon sequestration
* Proportion renewable energy for carbon reduction (see {{w|Jevons paradox}})
* Dialytic {{w|desalination}} for carbon sequestration[https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B73LgocyHQnfV1Q4VE45RmFFeFlPSDlKalctVS1nRlYyY3lR/view?usp=sharing&resourcekey=0-3YeR9jAkROsI0YLf4_07GQ][https://drive.google.com/file/d/14igVdhaIhrbHVTN5lI3XfxgNWPsvjNa7]
* {{w|Bacillus thuringiensis israelensis}} application for mosquito abatement
* Indoor carbon dioxide levels for air quality and ventilation

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is looking at Hairy who points a pointer to a poster. On the poster there is a line graph at the top and below that a candlestick chart. The line graph appears to show a time series with a question mark inside a ellipsoid at the end of the curve. The candlestick chart shows a box-and-whiskers plot comparing two variables. There is no readable text except the question mark. Hairy's stick points just below the line chart.]
:Hairy: We want to study this variable, but it's too hard to observe.
:Poster: ?

:[In a slim panel only Hairy and the poster are shown. His pointer now points to the left variable in the box-and-whiskers plot,]
:Hairy: So we're studying this proxy variable.
:Poster: ?

:[Back to Cueball and Hairy with the poster out of frame. Hairy holds the pointer down by his side.]
:Cueball: Is it correlated with the other variable?
:Hairy: Look, we don't have the funding to answer every little question.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Scientific research]]

2653: Omnitaur

2022-08-02T09:19:03Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2653
| date = August 1, 2022
| title = Omnitaur
| image = omnitaur.png
| titletext = "My parents were both omnitaurs, which is how I got interested in recombination," said the normal human.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by AN OMNITAUR-HUMAN HYBRID - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Omnitaur is an {{w|anagram}} of {{w|minotaur}}, a mythical creature that was part man, part bull. "{{wiktionary|omni}}" is a prefix that means "all". The word is, for instance, known from the word {{w|omnivore}}, meaning 'all eating' as compared to {{w|carnivore}} or {{w|herbivore}} (only eating meat or plant respectively). Given the combination of animals used to create the omnitaur, it could be expected that it was also an omnivore.

An "omnitaur" would suggest that it would encompass all real and mythical creatures, or perhaps some random assortment of such. In this instance, it appears to be a hybrid, or {{w|Chimera (genetics)|genetic chimera}}, combined from 11 different creatures: {{w|fish}}, {{w|lion}}, {{w|snake}}, {{w|shark}} (also a fish), {{w|bull}}, {{w|dragon}} (a mythical creature in its own right), {{w|horse}}, {{w|leopard}}, {{w|Sheep|ram}} (male sheep), {{w|human}} and {{w|bird}}.

In addition to the minotaur, many other potential inspirations can be found in mythology, like the {{w|centaur}}, which has the upper body of a human and the lower body and legs of a horse; the {{w|manticore}}, with a body of a lion and human face; a {{w|griffin}}, with a lion's body and a eagle's head; a {{w|mermaid}}, with a lower body of a fish and upper body of a human; a {{w|Hippocampus (mythology)|hippocampus}}, with the upper body of a horse and a lower body of a fish; a {{w|qilin}}, with a body that resembles both a horse and a dragon; or the mythological {{w|chimera (mythology)|chimera}}, for which the genetic chimera is named, which has lion, snake, and goat body parts. Ultimately, there are {{w|List of hybrid creatures in folklore|lots of hybrid creatures in mythology}}, so without word from [[Randall]] you're free to make your own conclusions.

The title text is a comment by a human whose parents were both omnitaurs. It would be strange that such parents would not produce offspring that was still omnitaur. It suggests that this may be the result of {{w|genetic recombination}}, which is the exchange of genetic material between different organisms leading to production of offspring with combinations of traits that differ from those found in either parent. Since we don't understand omnitaur genetics, we can't evaluate whether that is a plausible claim. Since the example depicted seems to be only 1/11 human, the odds of two parents like this getting a fully human offspring would simplistically (assuming that each physical part is the result of an equal genetic contribution, which isn't really how genetics works) appear to be 1/11 x 1/11 = 1/121, if it was simply a matter of the math... Of course if it worked like that, it would be hard to explain how a creature consisting of 11 different animals came into existence in the first place.

It is interesting that Randall chooses to mention fish and shark, given that sharks are fish, and he would certainly know this. It would be like saying 'mammal' for the lion part and then 'horse' later... It is also notable that he includes dragons, since all the other animals mentioned are real animals.

In {{w|C. S. Lewis}}' {{w|The Chronicles of Narnia}}, the {{w|Magical_creatures_in_The_Chronicles_of_Narnia#Centaurs|centaurs}} are depicted eating two meals - a huge roast meal "to satisfy the man stomach" and a meal of grass "to satisfy the horse stomach", making it take quite some time for them to eat every morning. This could further support the supposition that the omnitaur is an omnivore. However, given that it would still only need two stomachs (one for grass and one for most other stuff), it may not take longer for the omnitaur to eat than for the Centaur (although the bird beak may slow the process down quite a bit).

==Transcript==
:[A creature, the Omnitaur, is shown. It is a four legged animal divided into 11 segments, each segment is from a different animal. An arrow goes to each section from a label, most of the labels are above the animal, but the fourth and seventh segments labels are below the animal. The animal has a fish tail and cat like hind legs. The torso is divided into four segments, the first and last of these with scales, but only the last of these also with sharp scales at the top. The second torso segment is white and smooth, the third also white but with hair both above and below, those above merges with the sharp scales of the fourth torso segment. The front legs are horse like, the lower neck is from an animal with dark spots, the upper neck has rams horns, which goes over in the central part of a human head, with ears and hair (drawn like a real human, not like a xkcd stick figure) and finally the front of the face is a bird with its eyes and a beak shown. The labels are given here in the order of the segment of the animal from the back to the front (disregarding weather the label is written above or below the animal:]
:Fish
:Lion
:Snake
:Shark
:Bull
:Dragon
:Horse
:Leopard
:Ram
:Human
:Bird

:[Caption below the panel:]
:The Omnitaur

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Biology]]

2643: Cosmologist Gift

2022-07-11T01:44:06Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ extraneous word

{{comic
| number = 2643
| date = July 8, 2022
| title = Cosmologist Gift
| image = cosmologist_gift.png
| titletext = These neutrinos were freshly produced by a local source just 8 minutes ago
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MUON ON SALE, PACKAGED IN A BOX THAT A CAT MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT HAVE DIED IN- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic shows a box labeled to indicate that it contains 30,000 fresh {{w|neutrino}}s and four zeptograms of {{w|dark matter}}. The box is intended as an inexpensive gift for a {{w|cosmologist}}. The gift giver didn't put those things in the box—both are simply passing through it, so the "gift" consists of exactly what was in the empty space it occupies. While the caption suggests this would be a good gift for a cosmologist, what they or anyone else would do with such a box is uncertain.

There are about a billion neutrinos per cubic meter throughout space, produced during the {{w|Big Bang}}.[https://physics.mit.edu/news/journal/physicsatmit_14_conrad/] However, the flux of "freshly produced" {{w|solar neutrino}}s at Earth is around 7×1010/cm2/s, yielding about 2.3 million per cubic meter, implying the box is around 13 liters, about 80% of the volume of a typical {{w|breadbox}}.

Four zeptograms is a minuscule mass, equal to four sextillionths of a gram, the mass of about 200 carbon-12 atoms or around 20 to 23 {{w|amino acid}}s. There is an estimated 0.011 to 0.016 {{w|solar mass}}es of dark matter per cubic {{w|parsec}} local to the solar system,[https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1361-6633/ac24e7/meta] or about 900 zeptograms per cubic meter, suggesting the box is closer to 4 liters. This discrepancy could imply Randall agrees with cosmologists who believe dark matter is partially composed of {{w|primordial black hole}}s,[https://journals.aps.org/prl/abstract/10.1103/PhysRevLett.120.121301][https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212686418301250?via%3Dihub][https://news.yale.edu/2021/12/16/black-holes-and-dark-matter-are-they-one-and-same][https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.3847/2041-8205/823/2/L25][https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1475-7516/2010/04/023] instead of being comprised entirely of ubiquitous subatomic particles. A billion neutrinos have a mass of only about 2×10-12 zeptograms, at about 0.1 {{w|electron volt}}s each.

The "local source" mentioned in the title text is a joke about the commercial value of fresh, locally produced items, but the comic means that the neutrinos come from the Sun. It takes solar neutrinos slightly more than 8 minutes to reach Earth once they're emitted, roughly the same time as photons take to make the trip. (This doesn't include the time -- [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiative_zone approximately 170,000 years] over many [https://news.stanford.edu/pr/97/971219neutrino.html 28 day neutrino cycles] -- that energy takes to get from the core to where photons are emitted at the Sun's surface.) However, as the neutrinos are not slowed down inside the Sun and have been travelling at more than 99.999% of the speed of light, they will have aged by less than two seconds,[https://www.omnicalculator.com/physics/time-dilation] and so are technically even fresher than indicated.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A picture of a box with writing on one side, saying as follows:]

:30,000 neutrinos
:Freshly produced
:Plus 4 zeptograms of dark matter

:[Caption below the panel]:
:Cosmologists are easy to shop for because you can just get them a box.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2643: Cosmologist Gift

2022-07-11T01:43:05Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ clarify

{{comic
| number = 2643
| date = July 8, 2022
| title = Cosmologist Gift
| image = cosmologist_gift.png
| titletext = These neutrinos were freshly produced by a local source just 8 minutes ago
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MUON ON SALE, PACKAGED IN A BOX THAT A CAT MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT HAVE DIED IN- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic shows a box labeled to indicate that it contains 30,000 fresh {{w|neutrino}}s and four zeptograms of {{w|dark matter}}. The box is intended as an inexpensive gift for a {{w|cosmologist}}. The gift giver didn't put those things in the box—both are simply passing through it, so the "gift" consists of exactly what was in the empty space it occupies. While the caption suggests this would be a good gift for a cosmologist, what they or anyone else would do with such a box is uncertain.

There are about a billion neutrinos per cubic meter throughout space, produced during the {{w|Big Bang}}.[https://physics.mit.edu/news/journal/physicsatmit_14_conrad/] However, the flux of "freshly produced" {{w|solar neutrino}}s at Earth is around 7×1010/cm2/s, yielding about 2.3 million per cubic meter, implying the box is around 13 liters, about 80% of the volume of a typical {{w|breadbox}}.

Four zeptograms is a minuscule mass, equal to four sextillionths of a gram, the mass of about 200 carbon-12 atoms or around 20 to 23 {{w|amino acid}}s. There is an estimated 0.011 to 0.016 {{w|solar mass}}es of dark matter per cubic {{w|parsec}} local to the solar system,[https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1361-6633/ac24e7/meta] or about 900 zeptograms per cubic meter, suggesting the box is closer to 4 liters. This discrepancy could imply Randall agrees with cosmologists who believe dark matter is partially composed of {{w|primordial black hole}}s,[https://journals.aps.org/prl/abstract/10.1103/PhysRevLett.120.121301][https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212686418301250?via%3Dihub][https://news.yale.edu/2021/12/16/black-holes-and-dark-matter-are-they-one-and-same][https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.3847/2041-8205/823/2/L25][https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1475-7516/2010/04/023] instead of being comprised entirely of ubiquitous subatomic particles. A billion neutrinos have a mass of only about 2×10-12 zeptograms, at about 0.1 {{w|electron volt}}s each.

The "local source" mentioned in the title text is a joke about the commercial value of fresh, locally produced items, but the comic means that the neutrinos come from the Sun. It takes solar neutrinos slightly more than 8 minutes to reach Earth once they're emitted, roughly the same time as photons take to make the trip. (This doesn't include the time -- [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiative_zone approximately 170,000 years] over many [https://news.stanford.edu/pr/97/971219neutrino.html 28 day neutrino cycles] -- that energy takes to get from the core to where photons are emitted at the Sun's surface.) However, as the neutrinos are not similarly slowed down inside the Sun and have been travelling at more than 99.999% of the speed of light, they will have aged by less than two seconds,[https://www.omnicalculator.com/physics/time-dilation] and so are technically even fresher than indicated.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A picture of a box with writing on one side, saying as follows:]

:30,000 neutrinos
:Freshly produced
:Plus 4 zeptograms of dark matter

:[Caption below the panel]:
:Cosmologists are easy to shop for because you can just get them a box.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2643: Cosmologist Gift

2022-07-09T02:10:12Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ eliminate redirect

{{comic
| number = 2643
| date = July 8, 2022
| title = Cosmologist Gift
| image = cosmologist_gift.png
| titletext = These neutrinos were freshly produced by a local source just 8 minutes ago
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MUON ON SALE- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic shows a box labeled to indicate that it contains 30,000 fresh {{w|neutrino}}s and four zeptograms of {{w|dark matter}}. The box is intended as an inexpensive gift for a {{w|cosmologist}}. The gift giver didn't put those things in the box; both are simply passing through it. While the caption states that this would be a good gift for a cosmologist, what they or anyone else would do with such a box is uncertain.

There are about a billion neutrinos per cubic meter throughout space, produced during the {{w|Big Bang}}.[https://physics.mit.edu/news/journal/physicsatmit_14_conrad/] However, the flux of "freshly produced" {{w|solar neutrino}}s at Earth is around 7×1010/cm2/s, yielding about 23,000 per cubic meter.

Four zeptograms is a minuscule mass, equal to four sextillionths of a gram, or the mass of about 200 carbon-12 atoms. There is an estimated 0.011 to 0.016 {{w|solar mass}}es of dark matter per cubic {{w|parsec}} locally to the solar system,[https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1361-6633/ac24e7/meta] or about 900 zeptograms per cubic meter. This discrepancy with the number of solar neutrinos in the box suggests Randall might agree with the cosmologists who believe that dark matter is at least partially composed of {{w|primordial black hole}}s,[https://journals.aps.org/prl/abstract/10.1103/PhysRevLett.120.121301][https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212686418301250?via%3Dihub][https://news.yale.edu/2021/12/16/black-holes-and-dark-matter-are-they-one-and-same][https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.3847/2041-8205/823/2/L25][https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1475-7516/2010/04/023] instead of being entirely composed of pervasive subatomic particles. A billion neutrinos have a mass of only about 2×10-12 zeptograms, at about 0.1 {{w|electron volt}}s each.

The "local source" mentioned in the title text is the Sun; it takes light and neutrinos 8 minutes to reach Earth once they're emitted.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A picture of a box with writing on one side, saying as follows:]

:30,000 neutrinos
:Freshly produced
:Plus 4 zeptograms of dark matter

:[Caption below the panel]:
:Cosmologists are easy to shop for because you can just get them a box.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2641: Mouse Turbines

2022-07-04T22:48:48Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ title text explanation goes at the end, and convention also dictates that it is in Randall's voice

{{comic
| number = 2641
| date = July 4, 2022
| title = Mouse Turbines
| image = mouse_turbines.png
| titletext = It's sad seeing those videos of turbine blade being torn apart in high winds, but it's the only way they can disperse their seeds.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a RENEWABLE ENERGY RODENT - Elaborate on the title text. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Beret Guy]] and [[Megan]] are walking in summer, where Beret Guy expresses his appreciation for typical features of a summer day. He also mentions "wind turbines" put up by field mice, which Megan initially assumes to be referring to dandelions (similar to the wordplay that Beret Guy utilized in [[1322: Winter]]). However, Beret Guy turns out to be speaking literally, as he picks up what is in fact a tiny {{w|wind turbine}} and blows into it. This causes the blades of the turbine to spin very rapidly, generating a lot of power for the structure it is connected to, thus causing a field mouse to cheer in excitement.

Sadly, the relative power output of wind turbines is proportional to their size,[https://www.energy.gov/eere/articles/wind-turbines-bigger-better] a limitation not shared by other forms of renewable energy such as {{w|solar panel}}s and {{w|pico hydro}}. According to [https://www.omnicalculator.com/ecology/wind-turbine this calculator], a 10 centimeter radius wind turbine powered by a 5.7 meter/second breath[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2215098616300830] would produce one watt at just 26% efficiency.

Further frustrating mouse use of wind power, {{w|Wind gradient|windspeed increases logarithmically with height}} above ground. Windspeed is reported as its value 10 meters above ground, where it is 1.5 times faster than at ground level.[https://www.nooutage.com/wind.htm] In the U.S., where Randall lives, average year-round windspeed is about 15 km/h,[https://sciencing.com/average-daily-wind-speed-24011.html] or about 2.8 m/s at ground level, yielding only 0.1 watt for such turbines. However, a typical mouse weighs 25 grams,[https://web.jhu.edu/animalcare/procedures/mouse.html] compared to about 81 kilograms for humans in the U.S.,[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3408371/] so presumably mice electricity needs would be about 0.03% of people. The average U.S. residential customer uses about 1,242 watts of electricity,[https://www.electricchoice.com/blog/electricity-on-average-do-homes/] 0.03% of which is 0.37 watts. Therefore, three such turbines could be able to serve about four fifths of one mouse's needs, not counting their {{w|home energy storage}} battery efficiency overhead.

The title text claims wind turbines reproduce by dispersing their blades, in the manner of dandelions {{w|seed dispersal}}. Randall's suggestion of turbine seeds conflicts with Beret Guy's assertion that the turbines were built by field mice.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Megan and Beret Guy are walking on grass.]
:Beret Guy: Ahh, summer!
:Beret Guy: The clouds are big, the bugs are zooming,

:[Beret Guy stops walking. There are three tiny structures on the grass in front of him.]
:Beret Guy: and the field mice have put up their little wind turbines.

:[Beret Guy picks up one of the turbines. Under the turbine there is a wire attached to the ground.]
:Megan (off-panel): You mean dandelions?
:Beret Guy: No.

:[Beret Guy holds the turbine in front of him.]
:Beret Guy: Make a wish!

:[Beret Guy blows into the turbine blades and makes them spin. The wire transfers electricity towards the ground.]
:''Puff''
:⚡ ⚡ ⚡ ⚡
:Voice at ground level: Yaaay!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]

2638: Extended NFPA Hazard Diamond

2022-07-02T03:33:17Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ sorry, special notice is the official term, not special hazard

{{comic
| number = 2638
| date = June 27, 2022
| title = Extended NFPA Hazard Diamond
| image = extended_nfpa_hazard_diamond.png
| titletext = With most labs, the hushed horror stories are about something like dimethylmercury or prions, but occasionally you'll get a weird lab where it's about the soda machine or the drop ceiling.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a SUBSTANCE WORTH $500 IN STREET VALUE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic depicts an extension of the {{w|NFPA 704}} "fire diamond" emblematic insignia used to warn about the properties of hazardous substances inside a building, vehicle, room, cabinet, or container that are important during an emergency or accident, such as a fire, earthquake, spill or leak, bringing the diamond from 2x2 squares to 3x3 by adding five variously useful and humorous squares along the bottom edges.

The numbers in a normal NFPA 704 diamond do not specify values of substances' properties, but rather broad categories designating characteristics of the substances of greatest interest to first responders and hazardous materials cleanup crews. Randall's expanded diamond breaks with this convention, with several squares (Lilac, Orange, and Black) denoting absolute values, and one square (Green) denoting an economic value. This could very easily lead to documentation update headaches if these values were ever to change, doubly so since the Lilac square is linked to political outcomes.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Squares and explanations
|-
! Square !! Color !! Comic text !! Explanation
|-
!colspan=5| Real NFPA 704 diamond [http://www.ilpi.com/msds/ref/nfpa.html square and number meanings]
|-
| Top || Red || Flammability (0) || Denotes flammability. 0 indicates "materials that will not burn."
|-
| Top Left || Blue || Health Hazard (4) || Denotes the danger that the substance(s) pose to living beings in ways other than flammability and reactivity. 4 indicates that "Very short exposure could cause death or serious residual injury even though prompt medical attention was given."
|-
| Top Right || Yellow || Instability (2) || Denotes how stable the substance(s) are when exposed to water, heat, shock, air, or other substances. 2 indicates that "Normally unstable and will readily undergo violent decomposition but does not detonate. Also: may react violently with water or may form potentially explosive mixtures with water."
|-
| Center || White || (Special Hazard) || The standard's "Special Notice" field contains a symbol with additional information about the substance(s), e.g., '''OX''' for {{w|oxidizer}}s, '''SA''' for simple {{w|asphyxiant}}s such as nitrogen and helium, and <s>'''W'''</s> for substances which react dangerously with water.
|-
!colspan=5| After this point, all squares are made up by Randall.
|-
| Center Left || Green || Number of digits in the street value ($/gram) (2) || Describes the order of magnitude of the price (in USD) of one gram of the substance when sold illegally and informally. This is done on a logarithmic scale, with a '1' selling for $9/gram or less, a '2' selling for $99/gram, and so on. As such this is the first of several squares where the number may presumably go to 5 or above (which is not allowed on the original Blue/Red/Yellow squares, as they do not denote strict numerical values). That said it's not immediately clear how substances which command <$1/gram would be handled.

Randall's example substance apparently sells for tens of dollars per gram (which would be similar to most common illicit drugs).
|-
| Center Right || Dark Purple || How much of a hassle it is to dispose of (4) || While many things can be thrown in the trash with no additional procedures, substances that merit an NFPA 704 square often require additional procedures to avoid significant danger, damage to the environment, or hefty dumping fines. Biohazards that may carry diseases are often disposed of in special containers, and nuclear materials are notoriously difficult to safely dispose of. This square would be at least theoretically useful, though not as much as the actual disposal guidelines.

If the numbering here follows the scheme of the real categories, Randall's example substance is about as hard to dispose of as it gets. This matches the substance's rating of 4 for Blue and 2 for Yellow. Presumably it requires highly specialized handling or processing, and may also very bulky or awkward to store.
|-
| Bottom Left || Lilac || Number of federal agencies who want to know if you have any (3) || In many countries, including Randall's home country, the USA, the government has agencies dedicated to controlling or limiting the use of regulated substances, due to their use as drugs, weapons, harm to the environment, etc. While any given substance might be of interest to one agency, something that is both an environmental hazard and a chemical weapon component could interest, for example, the {{w|EPA}}, {{w|Chemical Safety Board}} and the FBI Counter-terrorism Division.
|-
| Bottom Right || Orange || How many times you have to scrub your hands after touching it before they stop smelling weird (1) || While the real NFPA 704 chart describes properties ranging from unsafe to potentially deadly, this square describes a minor but very real inconvenience. Some things are harder to wash off your hands than others, and, given that most people don't often work with dangerous substances {{Citation Needed}}, this would be a more common, but less relevant, concern for many people.

In this case, the substance, or its residue, seems to be fairly easy to wash off. This is seemingly incongruous with its ratings in the Blue and Black squares (see below).
|-
| Bottom || Black || Number of times it's caused one of those terrifying lab accidents that chemists tell scary stories about late at night (2) || This square might show how concerned and careful someone should be in handling the substance in question, especially if the number is more than one. However, it would be dependent not just on how inherently dangerous the substance is, but also on how commonly it occurs in labs. It's also vague as to what kind of accidents it has been involved in and what precautions therefore need to be taken. It could, for example, have caused some terrifying reaction, destroying things around it, or it could be very large and unwieldy and liable to crush people if handled improperly.

In this case, it seems the substance has caused two such accidents, presumably on account of its high health risk of 4 in the Blue square, and may also be linked to its hazardous disposal score of 4 in the Purple square.
|}

The title text (which references "scary stories" of the Black square) refers to {{w|dimethylmercury}} and {{w|prions}}. Dimethylmercury, C2H6Hg, is an organic form of mercury with an NFPA score of 4-4-3 (contact can be fatal, will burn below 73° F (22 °C), will combust if put under pressure). In 1997, an American chemist, {{w|Karen Wetterhahn}}, died 298 days after a few drops of C2H6Hg on her latex gloves were absorbed into her hand through the gloves, causing fatal mercury poisoning. Despite her having followed all safety protocols of the time, it was not then understood that the chemical was so toxic, nor that latex was so permeable to it. Prions are misfolded proteins that are responsible for a number of neurodegenerative diseases, including {{w|mad cow disease}} and {{w|chronic wasting disease}} in non-human animals and {{w|Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease}} in humans. These would indeed be the kind of substances that would scare those working with them in their labs; if an accident occurred, the results could be calamitous. See for example the case of [https://arstechnica.com/science/2021/07/second-lab-worker-with-deadly-prion-disease-prompts-research-pause-in-france/ Émilie Jaumain], a lab technician who died after accidentally coming into contact with prions in mouse tissue.

But a few labs have apparently had accidents involving a soda machine or {{w|dropped ceiling}}. The latter may be a reference to {{w|1978 smallpox outbreak in the United Kingdom|the death of Janet Parker}}: One inquiry found that she was infected with {{w|smallpox}} when a sample traveled upward from a lab on the floor below hers; however, other investigations have challenged that finding. There are occasional instances of vending machines causing injury or death, usually caused by people trying to shake or tilt the machines to get product out and having the machine tip and fall on them. On average, [https://www.cpsc.gov/Newsroom/News-Releases/1996/CPSC-Soda-Vending-Machine-Industry-Labeling-Campaign-Warns-Of-Deaths-And-Injuries a couple of Americans per year] are killed in this way. Reagents obtained in this way tend to have more impurities than those usually used in labs, but are relatively safe to shake.

The only easily identifiable substance which could likely meet the specific insignia numbers shown in the comic is {{w|thionyl chloride}} (SOCl2), a chlorinating reagent and solvent regulated as a chemical weapons precursor and sometimes used in the production of methamphetamine, which would also be represented with the '''<s>W</s>''' symbol inside the white square, indicating reactivity with water.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Know your extended NFPA hazard diamond:

:[The diamond is divided into 3x3 squares.]
:Flammability: 0 (top, red)
:Health hazard: 4 (top-left, blue)
:Instability/reactivity: 2 (top-right, yellow)
:Number of digits in the street value ($/gram): 2 (left, green)
:(Special hazard) (center, white)
:How much of a hassle it is to dispose of: 4 (right, purple)
:Number of federal agencies who want to know if you have any: 3 (bottom-left, pink)
:How many times you have to scrub your hands after touching it before they stop smelling weird: 1 (bottom-right, orange)
:Number of times it's caused one of those terrifying lab accidents that chemists tell scary stories about late at night: 2 (bottom, black)

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

2636: What If? 2 Countdown

2022-06-24T21:53:41Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ orly?

{{comic
| number = 2636
| date = June 22, 2022
| title = What If? 2 Countdown
| image = what_if_2_countdown.png
| titletext = If you don't end the 99 Bottles of Beer recursion at N=0 it just becomes The Other Song That Never Ends.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by FOUR SCORE AND 7 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic takes the idea of {{w|Advent calendar}}s, and takes it to the extreme. It uses rather absurd and/or obscure ways to measure the amount of time until [[Randall]]'s new book [https://xkcd.com/whatif2 ''What if? 2''] is released, with esoteric units or esoteric numbers. And often both.

Some concepts that appear several times throughout the calendar are:

* '''{{w|SI prefixes}}''', which can be applied to the beginning of a unit's name to multiply or divide the unit by powers of 10 or 1,000. This is standard for units like meters and grams, but is rarely applied to measurements of time other than when a unit of less than one second is needed, most commonly in various fields of science and engineering such as physics and electronics.
* The '''{{w|Gettysburg Address}}''', a famous speech delivered by U.S. president Abraham Lincoln in 1863, where he began by referring to the signing of the Declaration of Independence taking place "four score and seven years ago". A score is a dated term for the number 20, so "four score and seven" is equivalent to 87.
* A '''dog year''' is traditionally considered to be one-seventh the length of a normal human year, since a dog's overall lifespan is roughly one-seventh of a typical human's. The comic applies this to other units of time, such as minutes and months, each of which is also one-seventh the length of the standard unit. The number 7 (traditionally a "lucky number") is also used in many of the numbers quoted in the calendar.
* Other comparative durations of time that are not normally or usefully applied to day-length multiples. At the top end, there is the age of the universe, at the other there is {{w|Planck units#Planck time|Planck-time}} – with entire durations of periods of human history and the time needed to watch popular TV/film franchises in-between – most of which require a non-trivial multiplier or divisor to bring them to the necessary scale required.
* A '''{{w|baker's dozen}}''' is 13, or one more than a normal dozen. Here, the "baker's" prefix can be applied to any unit by adding an extra one of its constituent parts, like an extra hour added to a day.
* '''{{w|Irrational numbers}}''' like {{w|pi}} (3.14159...), {{w|Euler's number}} or ''e'' (2.71828...), the {{w|golden ratio}} (1.61803...), and the {{w|square root of 2}} (1.41421...). These are all interesting numbers because of their mathematical properties, but very impractical to use as arbitrary measurements of time because they have an endless series of non-repeating decimal digits.
* The teenage dating game '''{{w|Seven minutes in heaven}}'''.
* Rotation and revolution periods of various planets and moons in the Solar System.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! style="text-align:center;" | Days left !! Date !! Duration specified !! Duration in days !! Explanation
|-
| 83 || Jun 22 || πe millidecades || 82.03 days || π ≈ 3.14159, e ≈ 2.718, so πe is about 22.459. A millidecade is 1/1000 decade, or 1/100 year, or 3.652425 days. Multiplying these results in 82.03 days. This is a play on {{w|Euler's identity}}, eiπ=-1, but raising pi to the power of e instead.
|-
| 82 || Jun 23 || 7 megaseconds || 81.02 days || 7,000,000 seconds
|-
| 81 || Jun 24 || e lunar months || 80.27 days || A lunar month ≈ 29.53059 days, e ≈ 2.718
|-
| 80 || Jun 25 || 60 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris || 79.67 days || {{w|Foucault's pendulum}} demonstrates Earth's revolution, with the one at the latitude of Paris completing a full rotation every 31.8 hours.
|-
| 79 || Jun 26 || 8 milligenerations || 78.89 days || A generation is in general 22-33 years, with a reasonable mid-point of 27; and 8 x 0.001 (milli) x 365.2425 (accounting for leap years) x 27 ≈ 78.89 days
|-
| 78 || Jun 27 || 777,777 dog minutes || 77.16 days || A popular myth is that dogs age 7 times faster than humans, so 1 dog minute equals 1/7 human minutes.
|-
| 77 || Jun 28 || 7! episodes of ''Jeopardy!'' (skipping ads) || 77+ days || 7! = 7x6x5x4x3x2x1 = 5040. The standard episode of ''Jeopardy'' is 22-26 minutes, skipping ads. At 22 minutes each, the total is 110880 minutes, or exactly 77 days.
|-
| 76 || Jun 29 || 5,000 repeats of ''99 Bottles of Beer'' || 76.39 days || Each verse of {{w|99 Bottles of Beer}} is "''N'' bottles of beer on the wall, ''N'' bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, ''N-1'' bottles of beer on the wall." The entire song contains 99 verses. Randall apparently sings this rather slowly at around 72 bpm, taking about 13 seconds per verse.
|-
| 75 || Jun 30 || 5 baker's fortnights || 75 days || A {{w|baker's dozen}} is a dozen (12) plus 1 extra item. Randall has generalized this to adding 1 to any unit. A fortnight is 2 weeks, so a baker's fortnight is 15 days. 5x15 is 75 days.
|-
| 74 || Jul 1 || √2 dog years || 73.79 days || See day 78 (Jun 27)
|-
| 73 || Jul 2 || π millivics (1/1000th of Queen Victoria's reign) || 72.97 days || {{w|Queen Victoria}} ruled between 20 June 1837 and 22 January 1901 (23,226 days).
|-
| 72 || Jul 3 || 42 drives from NYC to LA (Google Maps estimate) || 71.75 days || According to Google Maps, the drive from New York City to Los Angeles via I-80 W (2789 miles or 4489 km) takes 41 hours.
|-
| 71 || Jul 4 || 1,000 viewings of ''Groundhog Day''|| 70.14 days || Using {{w|Groundhog Day (film)|Groundhog Day's}} 101-minute run time.
|-
| 70 || Jul 5 || 100,000 minutes || 69.44 days || 1,440 minutes per day
|-
| 69 || Jul 6 || 1/10th of Martian year || 68.70 Earth days || Martian sidereal and tropical years both round to 687.0 Earth days
|-
| 68 || Jul 7 || 1,234,567 sound-miles || 67.63 days || The speed of sound in air depends on the temperature. 15 °C or 59 °F gives the value 340 m/s and the travel time of 67.6349058 days.
|-
| 67 || Jul 8 || 2πe seconds || 66.74 days || 2^(π^e) = 5,766,073 seconds
|-
| 66 || Jul 9 || 216 beats (Swatch Internet Time) || 65.54 days || A "{{w|.beat}}" is equal to 1/1000 day.
|-
| 65 || Jul 10 || 1,000 ISS orbits || 64.58 days || Each orbit of the ISS takes 90-93 minutes. Here a value of 93 minutes is used.
|-
| 64 || Jul 11 || Five hundred twenty five thousand (base seven) minutes|| 62.88 days || This refers to {{w|radix}}-7 arithmetic: 525,0007 minutes = 90,55210 minutes. Also references the opening and recurring line "Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes" from {{w|Seasons of Love}}, a song from the musical {{w|Rent (musical)|''Rent''}}, which is also referenced in [[1047: Approximations]]. "Base seven" has the same rhythm as "six hundred".
|-
| 63 || Jul 12 || 1050 Planck times || 62.38 days || 10^50 x 5.39 x 10^-44 seconds
|-
| 62 || Jul 13 || 4,000 episodes of ''The Office'' (skipping ads)|| 62.50 days || {{w|The Office (British TV series)|''The Office''}} was originally a {{w|BBC}} television show which had no commercial breaks, so Randall must be referring to the later {{w|The Office (American TV series)|US version}}. This US "half-hour" comedy format contains 22.5 minutes of content (including the title sequence) and 7.5 minutes of ads. There are only 201 distinct episodes of the US version, so watching 4,000 episodes would require a lot of re-watching. 
|-
| 61 || Jul 14 || Four score and seven kilominutes || 60.42 days || 87 x 1000 minutes
|-
| 60 || Jul 15 || 2 lunar months || 59.06 days || There are a number of different ways to define the {{w|lunar month}}. The most common is the synodic month, because it relates to the phases of the moon, and it's approximately 29.53 days.
|-
| 59 || Jul 16 || Half a day on Venus || 58.38 Earth days || A Venus synodic day is 116 days 18 hours.
|-
| 58 || Jul 17 || 5 megaseconds || 57.87 days || 5,000,000 seconds
|-
| 57 || Jul 18 || 30 microLits (1/1,000,000th of the time since the invention of literature) || 57.21 days || 5222 years × 30 × 10-6. 3200 BCE is the approximate date of pre-Sumerian proto-writing as given in {{w|History of writing|Wikipedia's article on the history of writing}}.
|-
| 56 || Jul 19 || 1,000 viewings of ''Run Lola Run'' || 55.57 days || Using {{w|Run Lola Run|the movie's}} run time of 80 minutes.
|-
| 55 || Jul 20 || One million sound-miles || 54.78 days || The speed of sound in air depends on the temperature. 15 °C or 59 °F gives the value 340 m/s and the travel time of 54.7843137 days.
|-
| 54 || Jul 21 || 30 Ionian months || 53.07 days || Orbital period of Io around Jupiter is approximately 1.77 days.
|-
| 53 || Jul 22 || One dog year || 52.18 days || See day 78 (Jun 27)
|-
| 52 || Jul 23 || 60 viewings of ''Star Wars Episodes I-IX'' || 51.75 days || According to [https://dorksideoftheforce.com/2021/05/04/how-long-to-watch-every-star-wars-movie/ Fansided] the combined running times are 20 hours 42 minutes.
|-
| 51 || Jul 24 || 1/100,000,000,000th of the universe's age || 50.40 days || The universe is estimated to be about 13.8 billion years old.
|-
| 50 || Jul 25 || 5 milli-generations || 49.3 days || See day 79 (Jun 26)
|-
| 49 || Jul 26 || 10,000 games of ''7 minutes in Heaven'' or 7 games of ''10,000 minutes in Heaven'' || 48.61 days || {{w|Seven minutes in heaven}} is an Anglo-culture teenager game, occuring in several movies. 10,000 minutes in Heaven is almost a week of making out (or doing whatever in a broom closet), so this game is unlikely.{{citation needed}}
|-
| 48 || Jul 27 || φeπ minutes || 47.62 days || 68,567.57 minutes
|-
| 47 || Jul 28 || 4 megaseconds || 46.30 days || 4,000,000 seconds
|-
| 46 || Jul 29 || 216 minutes || 45.51 days || 65,536 minutes
|-
| 45 || Jul 30 || eee seconds || 44.15 days || 3,814,279.10 seconds
|-
| 44 || Jul 31 || π fortnights|| 43.98 days || 3.14159 x 14 days
|-
| 43 || Aug 1 || One devil's spacewalk (666 orbits of the ISS) || 43.01 days || See day 65 (Jul 10). 666 is the {{w|number of the beast}}.
|-
| 42 || Aug 2 || 1 kilowatt-hour per watt || 41.66 days || 1000 hours
|-
| 41 || Aug 3 || eπ Ionian months || 40.94 days || Orbital period of Io around Jupiter is 1.769137786 days
|-
| 40 || Aug 4 || 30 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris || 39.84 days || Refer to Day 80 (Jun 25)
|-
| 39 || Aug 5 || e fortnights || 38.06 days ||2.71828 x 14 days
|-
| 38 || Aug 6 || πe baker's days (25 hours) || 37.98 days || See day 75 (Jun 30)
|-
| 37 || Aug 7 || One deciyear || 36.52 days || One tenth of one year
|-
| 36 || Aug 8 || 7! milliweeks || 35.28 days || 5040 × 0.001 weeks
|-
| 35 || Aug 9 || 100,000 plays of the ''Jeopardy!'' "Think" music || 34.72 days || ''Think'' is the music played while the contestants try to answer the Final Jeopardy question; it is 30 seconds long.
|-
| 34 || Aug 10 || 1000 basketball games (game time) || 33.33 days || Uses the NBA game time of four 12-minute quarters, or 48 minutes
|-
| 33 || Aug 11 || 777 hours || 32.38 days || 24 hours per day
|-
| 32 || Aug 12 || One millilincoln (1/1000 of fourscore and seven years) || 31.78 days || {{w|Abraham Lincoln}}'s {{w|Gettysburg Address}} begins with the famous phrase "Four score and seven years ago". 1 score = twenty. 
|-
| 31 || Aug 13 || 1,000 episodes of ''60 Minutes'' (skipping ads) || 31.25 days || Uses a television 'hour' containing 45 minutes of content and 15 minutes of ads
|-
| 30 || Aug 14 || All of ''Star Trek'', consecutively || 27.16* days || As per [https://redshirtsalwaysdie.com/2021/01/22/take-far-longer-watch-star-trek-think/ RedShirtsAlwaysDie.com] of January 22, 2021. *Note well: dozens of additional ''Star Trek'' franchise episodes have been produced since, and more are presently scheduled to be released through June, July, and August, so this value is somewhat indeterminate over the scope of the countdown.
|-
| 29 || Aug 15 || 777,777 nanocenturies || 28.41 days || 777,777 × 10-9 × 100 years
|-
| 28 || Aug 16 || One sidereal lunar month || 27.3 days || The time it takes moon to return to the same position relative to the fixed stars
|-
| 27 || Aug 17 || 6 dog months || 26.1 days || See day 78 (Jun 27)
|-
| 26 || Aug 18 || ππ kilominutes || 25.32 days || 36,462.16 minutes
|-
| 25 || Aug 19 || 7 games of 7! minutes in Heaven || 24.5 days || 7 x 5040 (7 {{w|Factorial}}) minutes. See also day 49 (Jul 26).
|-
| 24 || Aug 20 || 50 viewings of the extended ''Lord of the Rings'' trilogy || 23.82 days || ''The Fellowship of the Ring'' extended version is 208 minutes, ''The Two Towers'' is 226 minutes, and ''The Return of the King'' is 252 minutes for its e.v., according to [https://fictionhorizon.com/how-long-are-all-the-lord-of-the-rings-and-the-hobbit-movies-combined/ FictionHorizon.com]
|-
| 23 || Aug 21 || A drive from NYC to LA where you keep remembering new things you forgot and have to go back 6 times || 22.21 days || See day 72 (Jul 3). This is for 6 round-trips and 1 one-way trip.
|-
| 22 || style="white-space:nowrap;" | Aug 22 || ''It's a Small World'' sung at 1/10,000th speed || 21.18 days || {{w|It's a Small World}} is a song that was composed for the attraction of the same name at various {{w|Disney}} theme parks, and plays continuously at them in various languages.
|-
| 21 || Aug 23 || 500 hours || 20.83 days || 24 hours per day
|-
| 20 || Aug 24 || √2 fortnights || 19.80 days || 1.4142 × 14 days
|-
| 19 || Aug 25 || Time it would take Vanessa Carlton to walk 1,000 miles || 18.94 days || {{w|Vanessa Carlton}} is an American singer, and {{w|A Thousand Miles}} is her most successful song. Randall estimates her walking speed at about 2.2 miles/hour.
|-
| 18 || Aug 26 || 100,000 breaths || 15 seconds per breath for 17 days || Normal respiratory rate for adults is typically 12-20 breaths per minute, or about 3-4 seconds each. Randall may be a practitioner of "[https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353/full slow breathing.]"
|-
| 17 || Aug 27 || √2 megaseconds || 16.37 days || 1.4142 × 1,000,000 seconds
|-
| 16 || Aug 28 || πππ πcoseconds || 15.51 days || 1.3402 × 1018 picoseconds (i.e., 10-12 seconds), making a joke how the mathematical "pi" is written with the character "π"
|-
| 15 || Aug 29 || One baker's fortnight (15 days) || 15 days || See day 75 (Jun 30)
|-
| 14 || Aug 30 || One baker's dozen (13) baker's days (25 hours) || 13.54 days || 325 hours; see day 75 (Jun 30)
|-
| 13 || Aug 31 || 300 hours || 12.5 days || 0.04167 days per hour
|-
| 12 || Sep 1 || One million seconds || 11.57 days || 86,400 seconds per day
|-
| 11 || Sep 2 || One nonstop bike ride from NYC to LA || 10.54 days || Google maps estimates the trip at 253 hours
|-
| 10 || Sep 3 || 1⁄1,000th of a generation || 9.86 days || See day 79 (Jun 26)
|-
| 9 || Sep 4 || 777,777 seconds || 9.002 days || 1.15741×10-5 days per second
|-
| 8 || Sep 5 || 100 viewings of ''Groundhog Day'' || 7.01 days || See Day 71 (Jul 4).
|-
| 7 || Sep 6 || 100 games of ''Lincoln Kissing'' (Fourscore and seven minutes in Heaven) || 6.04 days || 8,700 minutes
|-
| 6 || Sep 7 || One pico-universe-lifetime || 5.04 days || See Day 51 (Jul 24)
|-
| 5 || Sep 8 || The ''Baby Shark'' chorus for a family of 50,000 sharks || 4.63 days || The chorus lasts about 8 seconds per 'person'
|-
| 4 || Sep 9 || One centiyear || 3.65 days || 365.24 days/100
|-
| 3 || Sep 10 || Cyndi Lauper's ''Time After Time'' played 1,000 times || 2.79 days || Based on a length of 4 minutes, 1 second
|-
| 2 || Sep 11 || ''Speed'' (1994) played at one frame per second || 1.9 days || {{w|Speed (1994 film)}} has runtime of 116 minutes = 6,960 seconds = 167,040 film frames at standard frame rate of 24 frames/second
|-
| 1 || Sep 12 || F(99) where F(N) means sing all the verses of ''N Bottles of Beer On the wall'' followed by F(N-1) || 0.76 days || Each iteration contains ''N'' verses. ''N + N-1 + N-2 ... + 1'' equals ''N * (N+1) / 2'', so 99 recursions = 4950 verses. Using the same 13-second (72 bpm) rate as Jun 29, this is close to 18 hours. Probably refers to Donald Knuth's article {{w|The Complexity of Songs}}.
|-
| 0 || Sep 13 || ''What If? 2'' release day || N/A ||
|}

The title text refers to the recursive time period on Sep 12. If you don't stop when you reach N=0 bottles, the repetition never ends, so that time interval becomes infinite. He likens it to {{w|The Song That Never Ends}}, another repetitive children's song, which is specifically intended to go on forever. The difference is that the Beer song has a natural stopping point at 0, while ''The Song That Never Ends'' is completely repetitive.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Large heading: Countdown to ''What if? 2''

Subheading: (Preorder at [https://xkcd.com/whatif2 xkcd.com/whatif2] to get it at the end of the countdown)

Remainder of comic is a calendar with the date in one corner of each day's box.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Date !! Description
|-
| Jun 22 || πe millidecades
|-
| Jun 23 || 7 megaseconds
|-
| Jun 24 || e lunar months
|-
| Jun 25 || 60 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris
|-
| Jun 26 || 8 milligenerations
|-
| Jun 27 || 777,777 dog minutes
|-
| Jun 28 || 7! episodes of ''Jeopardy!'' (skipping ads)
|-
| Jun 29 || 5,000 repeats of ''99 Bottles of Beer''
|-
| Jun 30 || 5 baker's fortnights (15 days)
|-
| Jul 1 || √2 dog years
|-
| Jul 2 || π millivics (1/1000th of Queen Victoria's reign)
|-
| Jul 3 || 42 drives from NYC to LA (Google Maps estimate)
|-
| Jul 4 || 1,000 viewings of ''Groundhog Day''
|-
| Jul 5 || 100,000 minutes
|-
| Jul 6 || 1/10th of Martian year
|-
| Jul 7 || 1,234,567 sound-miles
|-
| Jul 8 || 2πe seconds
|-
| Jul 9 || 216 beats (Swatch Internet Time)
|-
| Jul 10 || 1,000 ISS orbits
|-
| Jul 11 || 🎵🎶🎵 Five hundred twenty five thousand (base seven) minutes
|-
| Jul 12 || 1050 Planck times
|-
| Jul 13 || 4,000 episodes of ''The Office'' (skipping ads)
|-
| Jul 14 || Four score and seven kilominutes
|-
| Jul 15 || 2 lunar months
|-
| Jul 16 || Half a day on Venus
|-
| Jul 17 || 5 megaseconds
|-
| Jul 18 || 30 microLits (1/1,000,000th of the time since the invention of literature)
|-
| Jul 19 || 1,000 viewings of ''Run Lola Run''
|-
| Jul 20 || One million sound-miles
|-
| Jul 21 || 30 Ionian months
|-
| Jul 22 || One dog year
|-
| Jul 23 || 60 viewings of ''Star Wars Episodes I-IX''
|-
| Jul 24 || 1/100,000,000,000th of the universe's age
|-
| Jul 25 || 5 milli-generations
|-
| Jul 26 || 10,000 games of ''7 minutes in Heaven'' or 7 games of ''10,000 minutes in Heaven''
|-
| Jul 27 || φeπ minutes
|-
| Jul 28 || 4 megaseconds
|-
| Jul 29 || 216 minutes
|-
| Jul 30 || eee seconds
|-
| Jul 31 || π fortnights
|-
| Aug 1 || one devil's spacewalk (666 orbits of the ISS)
|-
| Aug 2 || 1 kilowatt-hour per watt
|-
| Aug 3 || eπ Ionian months
|-
| Aug 4 || 30 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris
|-
| Aug 5 || e fortnights
|-
| Aug 6 || πe baker's days (25 hours)
|-
| Aug 7 || one deciyear
|-
| Aug 8 || 7! milliweeks
|-
| Aug 9 || 100,000 plays of the ''Jeopardy!'' "Think" music
|-
| Aug 10 || 1000 basketball games (game time)
|-
| Aug 11 || 777 hours
|-
| Aug 12 || one millilincoln (1/1000 of fourscore and seven years)
|-
| Aug 13 || 1,000 episodes of ''60 Minutes'' (skipping ads)
|-
| Aug 14 || All of ''Star Trek'', consecutively
|-
| Aug 15 || 777,777 nanocenturies
|-
| Aug 16 || one sidereal lunar month
|-
| Aug 17 || 6 dog months
|-
| Aug 18 || ππ kilominutes
|-
| Aug 19 || 7 games of ''7! minutes in Heaven''
|-
| Aug 20 || 50 viewings of the extended ''Lord of the Rings'' trilogy
|-
| Aug 21 || A drive from NYC to LA where you keep remembering new things you forgot and have to go back 6 times
|-
| Aug 22 || ''It's a Small World'' sung at 1/10,000th speed
|-
| Aug 23 || 500 hours
|-
| Aug 24 || √2 fortnights
|-
| Aug 25 || Time it would take Vanessa Carlton to walk 1,000 miles
|-
| Aug 26 || 100,000 breaths
|-
| Aug 27 || √2 megaseconds
|-
| Aug 28 || πππ πcoseconds
|-
| Aug 29 || One baker's fortnight (15 days)
|-
| Aug 30 || One baker's dozen (13) baker's days (25 hours)
|-
| Aug 31 || 300 hours
|-
| Sep 1 || One million seconds
|-
| Sep 2 || One nonstop bike ride from NYC to LA
|-
| Sep 3 || 1⁄1,000th of a generation
|-
| Sep 4 || 777,777 seconds
|-
| Sep 5 || 100 viewings of ''Groundhog Day''
|-
| Sep 6 || 100 games of ''Lincoln Kissing'' (Fourscore and seven minutes in Heaven)
|-
| Sep 7 || One pico-universe-lifetime
|-
| Sep 8 || The ''Baby Shark'' chorus for a family of 50,000 sharks
|-
| Sep 9 || One centiyear
|-
| Sep 10 || Cyndi Lauper's ''Time After Time'' played 1,000 times
|-
| Sep 11 || ''Speed'' (1994) played at one frame per second
|-
| Sep 12 || F(99) where F(N) means sing all the verses of ''N Bottles of Beer On the wall'' followed by F(N-1)
|-
| Sep 13 || ''What If? 2'' release day
|}
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Book promotion]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Animals]]

2636: What If? 2 Countdown

2022-06-23T18:28:00Z

172.69.33.207: Probably refers to Donald Knuth's article The Complexity of Songs

2636: What If? 2 Countdown

2022-06-23T00:25:18Z

172.69.33.207: sus

doing your mom, doing doing your mom, you know we straight cause we doing your mom

2632: Greatest Scientist

2022-06-13T18:55:07Z

172.69.33.207: Incomplete transcript

{{comic
| number = 2632
| date = June 13, 2022
| title = Greatest Scientist
| image = Greatest Scientist.png
| titletext = "Ow! One of the petri dishes I left on the tower railing fell and hit me on the head. Hey, that gives me an idea..."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HUMAN!!! - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic pretends that many (6 by my count) of history's greatest scientists were the same person, and says that this person was the greatest scientist in history. A combination of 6 of the greatest scientists ever would most likely be the greatest scientist ever.{{Citation needed}}

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Table title goes here
|-
! Experiment in comic !! Experiment in reality !! Meaning !! Scientist
|-
| test || test 2 || test 3 || test 4
|-
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript |Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Caption below the panel:]
:History's greatest scientist was probably that one who measured the shadow of the Leaning Tower of Pisa while flying a kite into a distant thunderstorm where lightning caused two moldy Petri dishes to fall onto a bell next to a salivating dog whose shadow angle determined the circumference of the Earth.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Science]]

2632: Greatest Scientist

2022-06-13T18:52:14Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ ce

{{comic
| number = 2632
| date = June 13, 2022
| title = Greatest Scientist
| image = Greatest Scientist.png
| titletext = "Ow! One of the petri dishes I left on the tower railing fell and hit me on the head. Hey, that gives me an idea..."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HUMAN!!! - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic pretends that many (6 by my count) of history's greatest scientists were the same person, and says that this person was the greatest scientist in history. A combination of 6 of the greatest scientists ever would most likely be the greatest scientist ever.{{Citation needed}}

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Table title goes here
|-
! Experiment in comic !! Experiment in reality !! Meaning !! Scientist
|-
| test || test 2 || test 3 || test 4
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption below the panel:]
:History's greatest scientist was probably that one who measured the shadow of the Leaning Tower of Pisa while flying a kite into a distant thunderstorm where lightning caused two moldy Petri dishes to fall onto a bell next to a salivating dog whose shadow angle determined the circumference of the Earth.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Science]]

2631: Exercise Progression

2022-06-13T18:44:40Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ remove

{{comic
| number = 2631
| date = June 10, 2022
| title = Exercise Progression
| image = exercise progression.png
| titletext = They said after I got into a routine, I'd enjoy getting progressively stronger and stop whining so much about how hard exercise was. Well, they were half right!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a SORE WHINING COMPLAINER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The arrows on the graph progress from left to right on the axis for "workout difficulty", showing that as people exercise (both normal people, and [[Randall]]), their bodies become stronger and able handle more difficult workouts.

The "normal progression over time" arrow in the graph shows how, when normal people unaccustomed to exercise first start out, it is perceived as unpleasant, for a variety of reasons: it takes time from the day, causes them to become sweaty and hot, feels particularly difficult, causes sore muscles, and so forth. Over time, as their body becomes accustomed to the exercise and can take on higher exercise loads, increasing muscle strength and endurance, so too does the brain, increasing both the amount of dopamine in the brain, and the number of dopamine receptors, as well as other positive changes. This means the "enjoyment" rewards from exercise begin to dominate, and exercise becomes a pleasant pastime, rather than a tedious, time-consuming and perhaps painful slog. This naturally causes a related reduction in whining.

The "my progression over time" arrow shows that while his body is becoming accustomed to the exercise just like any other, Randal whines linearly with the exercise difficulty. This could be because he is not neurochemically rewarded in the same way. Randall has implied he suffers from [[1106: ADD|ADD]], and this is a common symptom, caused by an excess of dopamine transporters in the brain carrying away the dopamine before it can activate the receptors.

It could also be because there are other downsides to exercising that he cares about more than the enjoyment; for example, if his exercise duration increases linearly with difficulty, and he values his time highly, that could cause a linear increase in whining with difficulty. Or since there is no scale for time on the graph, it could be that Randall has significantly misjudged the timescale of the effect (another common symptom of ADHD), and has only just begun his exercising journey: he may simply not realize that the neurological changes will take longer than the muscular ones, so he is seeing his muscles get stronger but has not yet reached the downturn in whining. Or he might just enjoy whining, and have more strength for lengthy whining sessions as his fitness increases.

Since the strip does not give information about the content of his whining, duration of exercise regimen, etc, the specific cause of the difference in whining behavior cannot be identified from the strip alone, though in the context of other strips, it is likely to be a real effect of neurodiversity.

The title text refers to the common response to such whining by people who '''are''' neurochemically rewarded by exercise, and have reached the bottom right of the graph: that getting stronger through an exercise routine will become its own reward, leading to a reduction in whining. Randal's statement that they were "half right", together with the graph, implies that he does indeed enjoy the rightward progression on the graph as he gets stronger and is able to take on increasingly difficult exercise; but that despite their reassurances, his whining has ramped up linearly with the exercise difficulty no matter how well-accustomed to it his body becomes.

To give an idea of the scale of time on the graph, a common rule of thumb is that while gains in strength can be seen within weeks (the stretch of the graph where both arrows rise), it can take months for a neurotypical mind (and its body) to acclimate to a serious change and begin to reap the rewards{{Actual citation needed}} (the falling area on the graph). Military boot camps are 6-13 weeks.

==Transcript==
:[A graph is shown with labelled axis, and arrows at the tip of each axis. There are two thick arrows plotted, both starting mid-range on the Y-axis, one of them goes upwards at a constant angle of about 40°. The other, which lies over the first mentioned where they overlap close to the Y-axis, first rises a bit before it bends downward and then after having increased its downward bend for a bit it changes to a continuously lower down bending rate and seemingly converges towards a constant y-value close to zero before the end of the graph. Both arrows tip ends at the end of the X-axis. Inside each arrow there is a label.]
:Y-axis: How much you whine and complain about doing exercise"
:X-axis: Workout difficulty
:Upwards arrow: My progression over time
:Downwards arrow: Normal progression over time

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]

2531: Dark Arts

2022-05-26T17:01:46Z

172.69.33.207: Undo revision 277521 by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2531
| date = October 20, 2021
| title = Dark Arts
| image = dark_arts.png
| titletext = You think, 'okay, THIS is an ideal use case for hardlinks!' but then 6 months later you're doing some extremely cursed Google search like 'javascript ext4' and wondering where things went wrong.
}}

==Explanation==
[[White Hat]] has presumably just asked [[Cueball]] to perform some task involving {{w|file system|filesystems}}. Cueball responds with an exceptionally melodramatic monologue, referring to the subject as "dark arts" and stating he'd rather not have anything to do with them. This is reminiscent of a fairly typical scene in fantasy novels, superhero movies, etc: a person with supernatural powers explains they prefer not to use them, as their use is likely to have negative effects that outweigh the positive ones. Often this is tied to a tragic backstory of the character, where the use of their powers previously caused them or someone close to them much suffering.

The humor of the comic comes from the parallel drawn; it seems unlikely that knowledge of filesystems could have negative consequences on the scale of, say, leveling a city, so the comparison is hyperbolic. However, much of today's infrastructure does depend on legacy systems that can be very overly complex to work with, having weathered aggressive political conflicts and short corporate deadlines for decades now. An example is the recent shutdown of the pgp keyserver network, or how the developer of the fastest linux filesystem built (reiserfs) was imprisoned for murdering his wife right before it could be merged into linux. Still, this joke is in a similar vein to comics like [[349: Success]], in which Cueball's relationship with technology is shown to have a potential for disaster far exceeding that of a normal person's.

A filesystem is the part of a computer's {{w|operating system}} that handles the organization of data in persistent storage, usually splitting it into files and directories. It can be a very complicated piece of software. Because of this, it is easy to make mistakes in advanced usage, and because it controls practically all data on a given machine, mistakes made can have serious consequences (e.g., loss of data). These properties of filesystems are likely why Cueball is reluctant to mess with them.

{{w|ext4}} is a popular filesystem used with the {{w|Linux}} operating system kernel.

{{w|hard_link|Hardlinks}} allow two filenames to refer to the same underlying file or directory. These can be particularly tricky to use, as in nearly all respects they look like regular files, but modifying them can have effects that are not immediately obvious (e.g., changing what one filename refers to, the other will not remain consistent). Hardlinks and their misuse have been referenced in xkcd before, as in [[981: Porn Folder]].

The title text hints at an experience Cueball or [[Randall]] had (his own "tragic backstory", if you will), involving hardlinks on ext4. He thought he had found an ideal use case for them, one which presumably avoided most of their pitfalls, but still, six months later, ended up having to troubleshoot some inscrutable bug arising from his decision.

{{w|Javascript}} is a programming language most often associated with web pages. As such it is not usually interacting directly with a computer's filesystem, since allowing arbitrary websites to access the filesystem is widely considered an extremely bad idea{{citation needed}}. It ''is'' possible to run Javascript directly outside of a browser – in which case it does have access to common filesystem operations, and even theoretically to the internals of the filesystem – but since it is a high-level language with poor support for working with the data structures a filesystem uses, this would be a painful, "cursed" way to go about things.

A senior IT professional (nowadays fewer people need to know about such features) will be reminded of their own experiences and mishaps with non-trivial file system configurations. Beyond hardlinks, filesystems may have a number of features a normal user or even an admin are not aware of. Such features are prone to bugs, poor documentation, or poor integration with other system tools.
For example:
* {{w|Symbolic link|Symbolic links}} (soft links) - one file links to another using its name. While symbolic links work "everywhere," hardlinks are generally limited.
* Compressed filesystems can cause unexpected side effects in performance, quota management, and disk fragmentation.
* Sparse files and shallow copies (copy on demand).
* Live filesystem backup and file locking.
* Read-only filesystems.
* 'Virtual' filesystems, like memory-backed and file-backed file systems, backed by dynamic data or databases.
* 'Overlay' file systems where a read-only portion is overlaid and partially shadowed by another file system.
* File caching for read or write operation.
* Syncing file systems.
* Many, many more.

"In another age" might refer to the fact that detailed file system manipulations were common in the days when developers were installing, configuring and managing operating systems and software on physical servers. When disk space was limited and network speeds were low, such manipulations saved space and time. Virtualization, containerization and deployment frameworks isolate developers and administrators from such low level details.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and White Hat stand in a slightly darkened room, with a jagged circle of light centered on Cueball and light-reflecting onto White Hat's face. Cueball holds his arm out with his palm facing towards White Hat.]
:Cueball: Long ago, in another age, I mastered these dark arts.
:Cueball: But I now endeavor to live my life such that I never need them.
:Cueball: Their power leads only to ruin.
:[Caption below panel]
:My response whenever anyone asks me to mess around with filesystems

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category: Computers]]
[[Category:Comics featuring cursed items]]

2617: Maps

2022-05-19T22:32:41Z

172.69.33.207: Undo revision 268865 by 108.162.246.34 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2617
| date = May 9, 2022
| title = Maps
| image = maps.png
| titletext = OpenStreetMap was always pretty good but is also now *really* good? And Apple Maps's new zoomed-in design in certain cities like NYC and London is just gorgeous. It's cool how there are all these good maps now!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DIGITAL CARTOGRAPHER- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|Apple Maps}} is a navigation app released in 2012 by Apple as a competitor and replacement for the widely used {{w|Google Maps}}. It was quite bad when first released, attracting lots of criticism from iPhone users who were accustomed to Google Maps' more reliable and accurate navigation (for example, in [https://www.cnet.com/tech/mobile/apple-maps-gets-drivers-lost-in-australian-outback-police-warn/ one instance], it sent drivers 40 miles out of their way into the Australian desert with no water supply). Often, initial negative impressions about a product are retained for a long time, regardless of how it may have developed, particularly when there is an obviously superior competitor to adopt, and no compelling reason to revisit the alternatives. Hence Randall/Cueball is surprised to discover that Apple Maps is now pretty good. His surprise is exaggerated to the extent that it is comparable to finding that some fundamental constant of the universe has shifted, such as the speed of light or pi being changed to some other number.

The term "map" carries a double meaning within this comic. While it refers to an actual map, it also refers to the concept of {{w|Map-territory relation|"map and territory,"}} where your map is your model of the universe, and the territory is the universe itself. Cueball has a map of the universe where Apple Maps is bad, and is surprised to discover that the map no longer fits the territory, and thus has to update his map.

The title text mentions {{w|OpenStreetMap}}, an open-data crowd sourced geodatabase, which has also improved since Randall has last checked, potentially moving it from a "pretty good" score to a "really good" score. He also adds two examples on how the Apple Maps service has improved: zooming in on cities, like London or New York you can see features like trees and road markings, the latter usually not visible on other mapping services at all. He marvels at the number of "good" mapping options now!

Google Maps itself, and especially its satellite coverage outside the US, was considered quite bad when it launched in 2005. The maps displayed back then led to mockery among "real" cartographers that the service couldn't really be considered a map, either: It was called "map-like", with casual digital maps being so new at the time. However, Google's popular mapping approach revolutionized how maps were perceived all over the world. The approaches Google uses are explained in [https://blog.mapspeople.com/how-google-maps-is-made How Google Maps is Made]. This approach blurs the lines between traditional paper maps, GIS (geo-informational systems) and digitally rendered maps on screen. The process of "mapping" - as it is referenced here - has since moved significantly into the digital realm.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding his hands up and is staring down at his open palms. Megan and White hat is looking at him.]
:Cueball: You look around one day and realize the things you assumed were immutable constants of the universe have changed.
:Cueball: The foundations of our reality are shifting beneath our feet.
:Cueball: We live in a house built on sand.

:[Caption below panel]
:The day I discovered that Apple Maps is kind of good now

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]

2621: Mainly Known For

2022-05-19T17:41:09Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ ce

{{comic
| number = 2621
| date = May 18, 2022
| title = Mainly Known For
| image = mainly_known_for.png
| titletext = Oh sure, I know Keira Knightly, from the first movie in that series by The Land Before Time producer. You know, the franchise with the guy from Jurassic Park and Ghostwriter, and script work by Billie Lourd's mom?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by that guy from NASA, what was his name? Something Munroe - Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[Megan]] points out an uncanny resemblance between someone's dad and {{w|Steve Jobs}}. However, she is uncertain that Steve's last name is Jobs, so she refers to Jobs as "the Pixar guy", asking Cueball if Jobs is the correct name. Jobs is ''mainly known for'' (hence the comic's title) being the co-founder and twice CEO of {{w|Apple Inc.}}, but in the late 1980s and early 1990s (between his stints at Apple), he was the chairman of {{w|Pixar Animation Studios}}, which is what Megan knows him for.

Frequently, when people can't remember a celebrity's name, they will point out other works they are known for in hopes someone else will recognize them from that and remind them of the name.

[[Cueball]] points out that Megan's tendency to avoid the "main" association and instead go with a much more secondary one is weird, which confuses her. To demonstrate how weird her associations are, Cueball asks her, "Who is {{w|John Lennon}}?" Lennon is a famous songwriter who played and wrote for {{w|The Beatles}} before they broke up, and later continued on a solo music career. Megan recognizes Lennon as a musical artist, but is unable to remember the name of The Beatles. She instead asks about the band he was in with {{w|Ringo Starr}}. Ringo, however, is not mainly memorable to her for his role in The Beatles, but rather as Mr. Conductor from the first season of the 1989 children's television show ''{{w|Shining Time Station}}''. The Beatles' fame seems to have escaped Megan, which vexes Cueball. Also Ringo may be considered as the least known of The Beatles, unless that would be {{w|George Harrison|'the quiet one'}}. Definitely less well-known than {{w|Paul McCartney}}, who was often as prominent a writer-performer as Lennon at the time and has continued to prominently perform individually (or headlining collaborations) across all the intervening decades since that era.

Hoping to show that she really does know Lennon and that her associations aren't weird, she points out that she remembers John doing a song with {{w|David Bowie}}. But she cannot remember that it was called "{{w|Fame (David Bowie song)|Fame}}". The song is from 1975 and Lennon co-wrote it with Bowie and performed backing vocals and guitar on it. Also she cannot remember Bowie's name, recognizing him instead for his acting role in ''{{w|Labyrinth (1986 film)|Labyrinth}}''. When Cueball states Bowie's name and states that he think he is famous for other stuff than those two things Megan mentions, she also remember another movie with Bowie, ''{{w|Zoolander}}'', rather than his more famous musical career (such as his smash hits "{{w|Space Oddity}}" or "{{w|Let's Dance (David Bowie song)|Let's Dance}}").

Sensing Cueball's annoyance, but failing to understand it, she attempts to excuse herself for not remembering ''Zoolander'' to begin with, because it came out a long time ago, during the {{w|Presidency of George W. Bush}}. ''Zoolander'' was indeed released in 2001. Apparently unable, again, to remember the president's name, she identifies him as "{{w|Jenna Bush}}'s dad". Jenna Bush is a TV personality and much less widely known than her father.

While the kind of associations people make like Megan in this comic, are often prone to the {{w|Mandela effect}}, Megan's information about all the celebrities is, in fact, correct, but apparently they are never what those people are best known for. This is what makes Cueball sigh and facepalm in the final panel, when she mentions Jenna instead of George Bush. He likely also does this because, even though he just demonstrated her weird tendency to remember people for their lesser known works, he is unable to reach her and let her understand that she is weird.

In the title text, Megan refers to "{{w|Keira Knightley|Keira Knightly}}" [''sic'' -- her surname is spelled Knightley], who is probably best known for her roles in the {{w|Pirates of the Caribbean (film series)|''Pirates of the Caribbean'' films}} and the {{w|Pride & Prejudice (2005 film)|2005 ''Pride and Prejudice'' film}}, by referencing her small role in ''{{w|Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace}}'' (as Sabé, who funnily enough is a handmaiden and ''decoy'' for Queen Padmé Amidala, a main character played by Natalie Portman).

Megan continues her unusual references by identifying the film as the "first movie" (it was the first in the plotline, but the fourth one made) in "that series by ''The Land Before Time'' producer" ({{w|George Lucas}}, creator of {{w|Star Wars}}, was also one of the executive producers of the 1988 animated film ''{{w|The Land Before Time (film)|The Land Before Time}}'').

Seeming to think that identifying George Lucas doesn't narrow it down at all, she identifies another actor in the ''Star Wars'' series, {{w|Samuel L. Jackson}}, by his roles in ''{{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} ''(an extremely successful film, but one in which Jackson had a relatively small role) and the PBS children's series ''{{w|Ghostwriter (1992 TV series)|Ghostwriter}}'' (in which Jackson appeared in only a few episodes). In addition, Megan mentions that the ''Star Wars'' series had "script work by {{w|Billie Lourd}}'s mom", referring to {{w|Carrie Fisher}}, who [https://www.slashfilm.com/548436/carrie-fisher-script-doctor/ contributed uncredited script-doctoring work] to the ''Star Wars'' franchise. However, Fisher is more closely associated with ''Star Wars'' for having played the major role of {{w|Princess Leia Organa}} in six films in the series.

''Ghostwriter'' was previously featured in [[130: Julia Stiles]], which described a scene from the show as "the best thing ever to appear on TV".

==Transcript==
:[Megan holds he hand palm up towards Cueball.]
:Megan: ...And her dad looks ''exactly'' like the Pixar guy. Steve what's-his-name? Jobs?
:Cueball: "Pixar guy"?
:Cueball: You always know famous people for such weird reasons.

:[Megan puts her hand down.]
:Megan: What do you mean?
:Cueball: Who is John Lennon?
:Megan: Wasn't he in a band? With Ringo from ''Shining Time Station''.
:Cueball: How is '''''that''''' your main association?

:[In a frameless panel Megan holds a finger up in front of Cueball.]
:Megan: I also know he once did a song with the guy from Labyrinth!
:Cueball: You mean David Bowie? I think he's famous for some other stuff, too.

:[Megan puts her hand down while Cueball facepalms. The line connecting his is curved.]
:Megan: Oh yeah, he was also in Zoolander!
:Megan: I forgot that movie, it came out back when Jenna Bush's dad was president.
:Cueball: ''*Sigh*''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Steve Jobs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Jurassic Park]]

1133: Up Goer Five

2022-05-04T22:07:02Z

172.69.33.207: dehcrapeh

{{comic
| number = 1133
| date = November 12, 2012
| title = Up Goer Five
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = up goer five.png
| titletext = Another thing that is a bad problem is if you're flying up to space and the parts start to fall off your space car in the wrong order. If that happens, it means you won't go to space today, or maybe ever.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is an illustration that will later be used in [[Randall]]'s book '{{w|Thing Explainer}}', where he took it upon himself to explain a number of things, including the {{w|Saturn V}} rocket shown here, using only the one thousand most commonly-used words in the English language.

This comic is a diagram of the Saturn V rocket. "Saturn" isn't a very common word apparently, and neither is rocket, so Randall decided to use "Up Goer" which is a fair approximation of a craft designed to lift a payload from the earth to space, although perhaps 'thing that goes up fast' may or may not be simpler. The Saturn V vehicle, which was in use by {{w|NASA}} from 1967 to 1972, is the vehicle as a whole. The engines of the Saturn V (the part that makes it go up) were divided into three stages. The first stage ({{w|S-IC}}) had five {{w|F-1 (rocket engine)|F-1}} engines which burned {{w|RP-1|refined kerosene}} mixed with oxygen as its fuel. That stage burned for 2 minutes 48 seconds and pushed the whole thing up about 61 kilometers (~38 miles) into the sky. After it fell away the {{w|S-II}} stage was activated. It used 5 {{w|J-2 (rocket engine)|J-2}} engines in the same configuration as the F-1s, and burned {{w|liquid hydrogen}} mixed with {{w|liquid oxygen}} for 6 minutes 35 seconds pushing the astronauts up to 184 kilometers (114.5 miles). The third stage ({{w|S-IVB}}) was a single J-2 engine burning liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen. This stage was used in two parts, the first was to put the spacecraft into a stable orbit around Earth to perform a systems check and make sure the craft will be safe for going to the moon. This would usually take three orbits around Earth. As they came around the Earth they would burn the second part of the fuel, which is called a {{w|trans-lunar injection}} which put them on course for the moon. The first burn took 2 minutes 45 seconds, which put them in orbit 185 kilometers (115 miles) high.

It was first used as the launch vehicle for the {{w|Apollo 4}} mission, and it was used as the launch vehicle for most of the subsequent {{w|Apollo mission}}s (the exceptions being Apollo 7, Skylab 2-4, and the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project missions, which were launched using the smaller {{w|Saturn IB}} launch vehicle). One of the last missions of this design was the unmanned launch of {{w|Skylab}}, the U.S.'s first space station; for this payloader configuration, the Saturn V launch vehicle was officially designated the {{w|Saturn INT-21}}.

The Service Module (SM) Oxygen tanks have a note that states "This part had a ''VERY'' big problem once". This is a reference to the {{w|Apollo 13}} mission. 55 hours after launch, mission control requested the oxygen tanks contents be stirred to get an accurate reading of its contents. There was {{w|Apollo 13#Oxygen tank explosion|a large bang}}, and power fluctuated throughout the craft. NASA had to scramble to ensure the safe return of the astronauts. Needless to say, the moon landing for that mission was canceled.

The {{w|Hindenburg disaster}} is referenced in the text "The kind of air that once burned a big sky bag and people died and someone said "oh, the [humans]!". The term "big sky bag" is used as the closest approximation of {{w|zeppelin}} which is a big bag filled with a lighter-than-air gas which makes the whole contraption float. The phrase "oh, the [humans]" is a workaround of the simple-words rule, technically containing only the word humans, while being read "concentration of humans" or "humanity". The {{w|LZ 129 Hindenburg|Hindenburg}} on the day of the disaster was filled with {{w|hydrogen}}, despite being initially designed for use with {{w|helium}}. Helium cannot catch fire as it is a {{w|noble gas}} and thus completely inert, but helium was unavailable due to a US export ban on the element. The risks seemed acceptable at the time because the Germans had a history of flying hydrogen-based passenger airships. The original quote is "Oh, the humanity!" (See this video about the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F54rqDh2mWA Hindenburg disaster] - the quote appears at 0:47). In the book ''[[Thing Explainer]]'' in the explanation for ''The pieces everything is made of'' (i.e. the {{w|Periodic table}}) hydrogen is again "named" by using a picture of the burning Hindenburg and also this quote is said by [[Cueball]] standing next to the square with the element with his hands over his mouth. See more below regarding the book.

The bottom tank, which Randall describes as "...full of that stuff they burned in lights before houses had power" is highly refined kerosene, called {{w|RP-1}}, it is similar to jet fuel, burns well and is not likely to explode; unlike {{w|liquid hydrogen}}, which is much more likely to explode.

Earlier flirts with simple words can be found in [[547: Simple]] and [[722: Computer Problems]]. The use of simple words was revisited again in [[1436: Orb Hammer]] and [[1322: Winter]].

The comic is based on NASA-MSFC 10M04574 produced at Marshal Space Flight Center. Randall omitted the "S". The image was for sale as a poster from [http://up-ship.com up-ship.com] which Randal mentioned. A different scan is downloadable from [http://heroicrelics.org/info/saturn-v/as-503-inboard-profile.html Heroic Relics].

The phrase "You will not go to space today" has become something of a catchphrase for xkcd — variants of it recur in the title text of images in four What If? articles:
*Building a jetpack out of AK-47s and converting the potential energy. [http://what-if.xkcd.com/21/ Machine Gun Jetpack]
*The one about flying on other planets (the pilot does not want to go to space today.) [http://what-if.xkcd.com/30/ Interplanetary Cessna]
*Launching into Earth orbit (if your rocket cannot hit the right "horizontal" speed, you will go to space today, and then you will quickly come back.) [http://what-if.xkcd.com/58/ Orbital Speed]
*The Pyramid of Giza (the energy that made it is not nearly enough to launch a rocket into space; the title text has another reference to the comic, noting that the tip of the pyramid should point towards space.) [http://what-if.xkcd.com/95/ Pyramid Energy]

Randall has in 2015 written an entire book with this type of simplified language blueprints. ''[[Thing Explainer]]'' was published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt on November 24, 2015 and actually had a copy of this comic in it. On the day of the book's release Randall also released a comic with a game, to celebrate the book: [[1608: Hoverboard]]. In this game the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/e/e2/1608_0976x1079y_Space_capsule_with_parachutes.png space capsule] used for landing back on earth is shown, thus both referencing the book and this comic. This part of the space ship can also be seen in the book above the ''Sky toucher'' and the moon landing is also depicted in ''Worlds around the sun''. When the book was released Randall had ''Minute Physics'' do a "commercial" [https://youtu.be/2p_8gx-XHJo version of this comic].

The news about the upcoming release of the book was sent out on the [[Blag]] in May as [http://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ New book: Thing Explainer]. After that, the book was advertised at the top of the xkcd page with link to the Blag article and links to Preorder at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Indie Bound, and Hudson. Also, there were two other news with links: "In other news, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing is delightful], and I feel surprisingly invested in [https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket's] results." (The link was removed sometimes before Monday the 10th of August 2015. within two weeks of the brackets final result was revealed.)

The song ''Space Weird Thing'' is a tribute to {{w|David Bowie}}'s [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D67kmFzSh_o Space Oddity] rewritten in the simple language used in this comic, which is also attributed in the text about the YouTube video. The other news item is related to [[1529: Bracket]], see that comic for more details.

==Transcript==
:US Space Team's Up Goer Five
:The only flying space car that's taken anyone to another world (explained using only the ten hundred words people use the most often)
:[A list of Saturn-V parts, top to bottom, with their "Up Goer" description follows.]
:[Launch Escape System (LES)]: Thing to help people escape really fast if there's a problem and everything is on fire so they decide not to go to space
::[LES side nozzle]: Thing to control which direction the escaping people go
::[LES fuel]: Stuff to burn to make the box with the people in it escape ''really fast''
::[LES bottom nozzles]: Place where fire comes out to help them escape
:[Apollo spacecraft.]
::[Command Module (CM)]: Part that flies around the other world and comes back home with the people in it and fall in the water.
:::[CM capsule parts]: People box, door, chairs
::[Service Module (SM)]: Part that goes along to give people air, water, computers and stuff. It comes back home with them but burns up without landing.
:::[SM oxygen tanks]: Cold air for burning (and breathing). This part had a ''VERY'' big problem once.
::[Lunar Module (LM)]: Part that flies down to the other world with two people inside
:::[LM descent stage]: Part that stays on the other world (it's still there)
:::[LM feet]: Feet that go on the ground of the other world
:[Instrument Unit]: Ring holding most of the computers
:[S-IVB third stage]: Part that falls off third (this part flew away from our world into space and hit the world we were going toward)
::[Fuel tanks]: Wet and ''very'' cold
:::[Liquid hydrogen (LH2) tank]: The kind of air that once burned a big sky bag and people died and someone said "Oh, the [humans]!" (used for burning)
:::[Liquid oxygen (LOX) tank]: The part of air you need to breathe, but not the other stuff (used for burning)
:::[Helium pressurizing tanks]: Things holding that kind of air that makes your voice funny (it's for filling up the space left when they take the cold air out to burn it.)
::[J-2 engine nozzle]: Fire comes out here
:[S-II second stage]: Part that falls off second
::[LH2 tank]: More sky bag air (for burning) (cold + wet)
::[LOX tank]: More breathing-type air (for burning) (cold + wet)
::[Tank-to-engine fuel lines]: Thing that brings in cold wet air to burn
::[J-2 engine nozzles (qty. 5)]: Fire comes out here
:[S-IC first stage]: Part that falls off first
::[LOX tank]: More breathing-type air (for burning) (cold + wet)
::[Helium pressurizing tank]: More funny voice air (for filling up space)
::[LOX fill line]: Opening for putting in cold wet air
::[RP-1 fuel tank]: This is full of that stuff they burned in lights before houses had power.It goes together with the cold air when it's time to start going up.
::[F-1 engine nozzles (qty. 5)]: Lots of fire comes out here.
:[Bottom of spacecraft]: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space. If it starts pointing toward space you are having a bad problem and you will not go to space today.

==Trivia==
*A print version of this comic is available in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/up-goer-five-poster xkcd store].

==External links==
*[http://history.msfc.nasa.gov/saturn_apollo/documents/First_Stage.pdf First Stage Fact Sheet]
*[http://history.msfc.nasa.gov/saturn_apollo/documents/Second_Stage.pdf Second Stage Fact Sheet]
*[http://history.msfc.nasa.gov/saturn_apollo/documents/Third_Stage.pdf Third Stage Fact Sheet]
*[http://splasho.com/upgoer5/ The Up-Goer Five Text Editor]
*[http://xkcd.com/simplewriter/ A word checker tool written by Randall]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Simplified language]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

437: SUV

2022-05-04T01:21:02Z

172.69.33.207:

{{comic
| number = 437
| date = June 16, 2008
| title = SUV
| image = suv.png
| titletext = Electric skateboards, by cost, get the equivalent of about 300 miles per gallon. Lithium batteries just need to get cheaper.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is one of a series of [[My Hobby]] comics. Here [[Randall]] describes a "hobby" of confusing self-righteous hybrid car drivers by creating situational irony.

There are many anecdotal instances of drivers of "green" vehicles both criticizing owners of less fuel-efficient vehicles (such as SUVs) and for taunting them about how much more they are paying for fuel. Randall is reversing this by taunting/criticizing the owner of a Prius hybrid vehicle as though their roles were reversed. The owner of the hybrid car is irritated and does not understand what is being said.

Alternatively, in the second sentence, Randall could be talking about the fact that the other person has a hybrid vehicle instead of a full electric vehicle, although Randall's SUV wouldn't be any better in that case.

Yet another possibility is that "go green" refers to using public transportation or walking (or biking, skateboarding, and so on) in which case there is an argument to be made that the Cueball with the SUV might be better due to taking mass transit more. Or, as the title text alludes to, electric skateboards.

The title text, rather than being a joke or additional punchline, seems to be a serious opinion about how much more efficient electric vehicles are compared to gas-powered vehicles; they would be a far superior form of transportation if only they weren't so expensive. But an electric skateboard can only move a fraction of mass comparing to an SUV.

==Transcript==
:My Hobby:
:Renting an SUV and confusing the hell out of hybrid owners
:[A Prius Driver is pumping gas into his car at a gas station. The prices can be seen in the background, and read:]
:$4.08
:M: $4.38
:P: $4.51
:D: $4.85
:[Cueball drives up alongside in an SUV and leans out the window.]
:Cueball: Check out those prices! Your Prius ain't looking so smart ''now'', huh?
:Prius Driver: It's ... wait, what?
:Cueball: Maybe you'll go green ''next'' time, asshole!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]

2604: Frankenstein Captcha

2022-04-08T20:53:36Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2604
| date = April 8, 2022
| title = Frankenstein Captcha
| image = frankenstein_captcha.png
| titletext = The distinction between a ship and a boat is a line drawn in water.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by Rated Argh -Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic strip is a play on the meanings (and misunderstanding) of the name "Frankenstein". ''{{w|Frankenstein}}; or, the Modern Prometheus'' is a 1818 novel by Mary Shelley about a medical student called Victor Frankenstein who creates an artificial life-form. The man he creates once describes himself as "the Adam of your (Frankenstein's) labour" in the book, and strictly speaking is properly known as "Frankenstein's ''monster''" (or perhaps "creation" or "son"), but is often erroneously called "Frankenstein" himself.

The Captcha shown in the comic instructs the user to select all tiles containing Frankenstein. The tiles include both a reanimated corpse resembling Frankenstein's monster and a scientist yelling, "It's alive!” who is clearly intended to be Victor Frankenstein. The problem arises from the contrast between the generally accepted and technically accurate definitions of the term Frankenstein. The correct answer to the Captcha is just the left square of the third row, unless you follow comic [[1589]]. If the images in the squares are scenes from the famous {{w|Frankenstein (1931 film)|1931 film}} starring {{w|Boris Karloff}} as The Monster, then they could be correctly said to be "containing ''Frankenstein''", that is, the work. Because of the ambiguity regarding what Frankenstein refers to, this would not be a good CAPTCHA because many people solving it would use an incorrect definition of Frankenstein and therefore get it wrong. (However, it would be effective in screening for people who know that Frankenstein technically refers to the scientist, not the monster — or, if one also had to mark the boxes depicted Frankenstein's monster, screening for people who don't know.)

This comic strip could also reference [[1897]], which would imply that someone had actually created a Frankenstein's monster which needs to be located.

Many of the other tiles appear to be pictures of entities that inspire similar <s>pedanticism</s> pedantry. For example, there is a picture of a turtle (or possibly a tortoise, or a reference to the Voight-Kampff test used in a manner analogous to CAPTCHA), a ship (or possibly a boat), Link (the name given to each of several protagonists that appear across generations and timelines, throughout the {{w|Legend of Zelda}} video games, who many erroneously refer to as Zelda), a pond (or possibly a lake, or a {{w|mirage}}), a squash or pumpkin (often subject to the ''fruit or vegetable'' debate), an erupting volcano (with lava, or is it magma?), and an asteroid or planet (or is it a dwarf planet?). Other tiles seem to be inspired by images that commonly occur in actual captchas, like the STOP sign or the traffic light. However, at least some of these may also be meant to fall into the category of entities that inspire pedantry because traffic lights can also be called traffic signals or stoplights, and many people think that the shape of a stop sign is called a hexagon, not an octagon.

The title text refers to the fact that if you draw a picture of a boat/ship on calm water (a straight line), it is usually assumed to be on a lake or pond and is thus a boat, but if it is on wavy water (as in the comic), it's assumed to be on the sea and is thus a ship. The title text is also a pun on the common idiom "a line drawn in the sand."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

> TO CONTINUE, PLEASE CLICK ALL SQUARES CONTAINING FRANKENSTEIN

Pictured (Starting from top left)

Row 1
* Tortoise (or turtle)
* Ship (or boat)
* Frankenstein's monster (often mistaken as Frankenstein) waking up from a slab, while lightning strikes.
::Monster: GRRR
* Link from Legend of Zelda series (often mistaken as Zelda, aka Toon Link in SSB)

Row 2
* Lake (or pond), possibly a mirage, in the Egyptian desert
* Megan
* Lava (or magma)
* Squash or pumpkin (fruit vs vegetable)

Row 3
* A mad scientist (Victor Frankenstein) throwing a switch while lightning strikes outside
::Frankenstein: It's alive!
* Sandwich
* Stop sign
* Girl running away from Frankenstein's monster
::Girl: Monster!

Row 4
* Rocket (spaceship) flying by an asteroid or Pluto (dwarf planet)
* Cueball and Ponytail standing next to each other
* Traffic light (also called a stoplight, possibly mistaken as stop sign?)
* Frankenstein's monster

> OH NO.

{{comic discussion}}

600: Android Boyfriend

2022-03-31T16:29:08Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ no one needs that extra “paragraph” and extra comma

{{comic
| number = 600
| date = June 22, 2009
| title = Android Boyfriend
| image = android boyfriend.png
| titletext = Which is, coincidentally, the most unsettling mantlepiece decoration in my house.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the second (and last) comic in the [[:Category:Android|Android series]], referring directly back to [[595: Android Girlfriend]], where [[Cueball]] showed that he had an android girlfriend [[Megan]]. So now [[Ponytail]] has decided she would also like to have an {{w|android (robot)|android}} boyfriend ([[Hairy]]). But upon bringing these two androids together, they fall for each other and decide to have "sex" on the spot, resulting in several mechanical sounds off-panel while their "owners" watch on with disgusted interest.

{{w|vibrator (sex toy)|Vibrator}}s and {{w|Fleshlight}}s are sex toys that represent male and female genitalia, respectively. Ponytail's flat description indicates that she is not particularly aroused by what amounts to a pair of animatronic sex toys rubbing against each other. [[Randall|Randall's]] title text claims that he has actually done such a thing, and stuck it on his fireplace mantle for all his house-guests to see. He admits though that it is ''the most unsettling mantlepiece decoration in my house.'' References to fleshlights is a [[:Category:Fleshlights|recurring theme]] in xkcd.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail enters from the right dragging Hairy along by his hand, as she moves towards Cueball who stands with Megan in his hand.]
:Ponytail: I thought your android girlfriend was cool so I got myself an android boyfriend.

:[Suddenly the Megan android runs into the arms of the Hairy android, while Ponytail has let go of his hand. Ponytails head swirls around to follow her run by.]
:Ponytail: He's really great. I like how—
:Ponytail: Uh.

:[Cueball and Ponytail look towards the two androids, but they are now outside this frame-less panel.]
:Off-panel sound: ''*Zip*''
:Off-panel voice: ''Mmmmm''

:[Cueball and Ponytail still look at the scene off panel.]
:Cueball: ...Huh.
:Ponytail: It's like somebody stuck a vibrator in a fleshlight.
:Off-panel sound: ''Whirrr''
:Off-panel voice: ''Mmmm''
:Off-panel sound: ''Click''

==Trivia==
This is the comic six years before [[1541: Voice]], in which Ponytail stated that she could only control her voice once every six years.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Android]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Fleshlights]]
[[Category:Robots]]

1252: Increased Risk

2022-03-30T01:21:52Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ coin might not be "real"

{{comic
| number = 1252
| date = August 16, 2013
| title = Increased Risk
| image = increased_risk.png
| titletext = You may point out that strictly speaking, you can use that statement to prove that all risks are tiny—to which I reply HOLY SHIT WATCH OUT FOR THAT DOG!
}}
==Explanation==
The panel satirises the common misunderstanding of the concept of percentage. Quoting a percentage change without mentioning the base probability that this ratio acts on is meaningless (outside of arithmetic for arithmetic's sake). Most everyday communication, however, succumbs to such incompleteness. In the aftermath of this ambiguity, people tend to conflate relative and absolute changes.

If the probability of a shark attack at the North beach is 5 per million, then the probability of shark attack at the South beach is still not more than 6 per million. The difference between these values is not enough to normally justify choosing one beach over the other, even though a "20% greater" chance sounds significant when stated out of this larger context.

[[Cueball]] parodies the concern by noting that by going to a beach three times instead of two, their chances of attack by dogs with handguns in their mouths (a ludicrous and unrealistic scenario as dogs cannot buy guns{{Citation needed}} and are not likely to pick one up off the ground) increases by 50%. If the chance of the dog attack is one per billion on each visit to the beach, then the chance of attack increases over multiple visits; regardless it's still one in a billion for any specific visit. This does not change the overall improbability of there ever being a dog swimming with a gun in its mouth.

[[Beret Guy]] misunderstands Cueball's probability, exhibiting the {{w|gambler's fallacy}} by believing that since they haven't been attacked in their first two trips, the chance of attack by dogs with handguns is higher on this outing.

This is a common misunderstanding of statistics. While the overall probability of an attack in three trips would be higher than in a single trip, it doesn't change the fact that in each individual trip, the probability is still the same; whether or not they managed to avoid being attacked in their first two trips, the results of these trips do not factor into the probability equation of the third trip.

This also can be illustrated by coin flips: if one flips a "fair" coin ten times in a row, no matter what the result of each previous flip is (even if it were nine heads in a row), the odds of getting heads on the tenth coin flip theoretically remains 50%. In other words, past experience does not impact subsequent flips. In practice, if the odds on each flip were 50%, then the odds of nine heads in a row would be 0.2%, so after it might be worth considering the possibility that the coin has been bent or weighted to alter the odds, or even a counterfeit with "heads" on both sides.

The caption clarifies Cueball's point, but without sarcasm.

Then again, the title text objects to this point (that a tiny risk increased by 50% is still tiny). If this 50% increment is done repeatedly, the risk can get arbitrarily high, while the statement says that it is still tiny. This can be compared to the {{w|Sorites paradox}} (the "paradox of the heap"), which involves a "heap" of sand from which grains of sand are removed individually. If one assumes that, after removing a single grain, a heap of sand is still considered a heap of sand, and that there are a limited number of grains of sand in the heap, then one is forced to accept the conclusion that it can still be considered a heap of sand even if there is only a single grain of sand (or even none at all).

Being shot by a swimming dog with a handgun in its mouth is also specifically referenced in what if? 146, [https://what-if.xkcd.com/146/ Stop Jupiter].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, Ponytail, and Beret Guy are standing around. Cueball and Ponytail have beach towels. Ponytail is looking at her cell phone. Beret Guy has his hands up to his face, looking distressed.]
:Ponytail: We should go to the north beach. Someone said the south beach has a 20% higher risk of shark attacks.
:Cueball: Yeah, but statistically, taking three beach trips instead of two increases our odds of getting shot by a swimming dog carrying a handgun in its mouth by '''''50%!'''''
:Beret Guy: Oh no! This is our third trip!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Reminder: A 50% increase in a tiny risk is '''''still tiny'''''.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Dogs]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Sharks]]

2591: Qua

2022-03-10T01:59:36Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ language

{{comic
| number = 2591
| date = March 9, 2022
| title = Qua
| image = qua.png
| titletext = Qua qua qua is the sine qua non of sine qua non qua sine qua non.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THREE FIFTHS OF A DUCK - Please expand the explanation, and clarify the definition of "qua". Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[wikt:qua|Qua]] is a rare formal word, from Latin, roughly meaning "as". Saying something is "X qua X" (e.g. "entertainment qua entertainment") means X is being used for its real purpose and its own sake. [[Cueball]] claims that people only use ''qua'' to "sound pretentious" without properly understanding its meaning. Thus, people do not use "qua ''qua'' qua", or "qua for the sake of qua". However, [[Megan]] one-ups this with a series of seven ''qua''s: she compliments Cueball's successful use of "qua qua qua ''qua'' qua qua qua", or "the phrase 'qua qua qua' for its correct meaning". The joke is in the confusion created by either statement, similar to other complex sentences involving {{w|Buffalo buffalo|"buffalo"}}, {{w|That that is is that that is not is not is that it it is|"that" and "is"}}, and {{w|Had had had|"had"}}. Following this trend, you can create a grammatically correct sentence that includes 'qua' a consecutive number of times equal to (2n-1), where n is a positive integer.

The title text goes further with this, using the specific Latin phrase {{w|sine qua non}}, meaning literally "without which not" and commonly "absolutely necessary" or "essential". Thus, the title text says that "the word 'qua' in its real meaning is essential to the phrase 'sine qua non' used correctly".

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball and Megan are speaking to each other in a single panel.]
:Cueball: People mostly use "qua" to sound pretentious. You rarely hear qua ''qua'' qua.
:Megan: Nice use of qua qua qua ''qua'' qua qua qua.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]

2591: Qua

2022-03-10T01:58:15Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ more background

2586: Greek Letters

2022-02-26T04:31:24Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ unneeded

{{comic
| number = 2586
| date = February 25, 2022
| title = Greek Letters
| image = greek_letters.png
| titletext = If you ever see someone using a capital xi in an equation, just observe them quietly to learn as much as you can before they return to their home planet.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by '''''O R B S''''' PRO®- Missing explanations for some letters. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Mathematics uses lots of Greek letters, typically using {{w|Greek_letters_used_in_mathematics,_science,_and_engineering|the same letter consistently}} to represent a particular constant or type of variable.
This comic gives a (non-)explanation of what they typically mean.

The letters are:

* '''π (lower-case pi)''' — Typically used to refer to the constant ratio between a circle’s circumference and its diameter (approximately 3.14). This usage of pi commonly applies to equations in introductory geometry classes, which would be considered "simple" by advanced mathematicians. However, pi also shows up seemingly randomly in extremely advanced and complicated equations (that have nothing to do with a circle), as part of the solution to an infinite series or whatnot. (There are also {{w|Pi_(letter)#Lowercase_Pi|several advanced equations}} which use pi to represent variables other than the ratio of the circumference to the diameter.)

* '''Δ (capital delta)''' — Typically used to refer to a change in quantity.

* '''δ (lower-case delta)''' — Also typically used to refer to a change in quantity, but unlike the capital delta, this is only for infinitesimal changes and is used in derivative and integration expressions in mathematics hence the text's reference to "a mathematician's fault".

* '''θ (lower-case theta)''' — Typically used to refer to an angle, and is notably used in the polar coordinate system. The text refers to its close relationship with circles, on which the polar coordinate system is based on.

* '''Φ (lower-case phi)''' — Typically used to refer to another angle other than one referred to by theta. It's used in spherical coordinates, and the text refers to how spheres, or orbs, are important in spherical coordinates.

* '''ϵ (lower-case lunate epsilon)''' — Epsilon is typically used to refer to very small quantities which go to zero in the limit. In this interpretation, the comic suggests that because these quantities are very small, they are unimportant, when in reality the study of quantities that go to zero gives rise to limits and calculus.

* '''υ,ν (lower-case upsilon and lower-case nu)''' —

* '''μ (lower-case mu)''' — The SI prefix for "micro" = 10-6, representing very small quantities: a micrometer (μm) is tens of times smaller than the width of a human hair, a microgram (μg) is one single fine speck of flour, both of which are barely visible with the bare human eye nor feelable through the skin.

* '''Σ (capital sigma)''' — Typically used as a symbol for summation of a series of numbers.

* '''Π (capital pi)''' — Typically used as a symbol for multiplication of a series of numbers.

* '''ζ (lower-case zeta)''' — Frequently used with number theory, in particular the {{w|Riemann zeta function}}, which is a the focus of a famously unsolved problem in highly advanced mathematics.

* '''β (lower-case beta)''' — This could be a reference to the typical usage of beta to represent coefficients of independent variables in the {{w|Ordinary_least_squares#Linear_model|ordinary least squares regression model}}. Regression can potentially have a large number of independent variables, hence potentially many different betas (differentiated by subscript, or compacted into matrix notation) would be used. Alternatively, the comic might suggest whatever source this equation is from has run out of Latin letters to use as symbols, and is now going through the Greek letters.

* '''α (lower-case alpha)''' — Possibly referring to alpha radiation, which certainly could kill someone. Quite likely refers to angular acceleration, or the acceleration of spinning systems, which are capable of killing people in a number of [https://xkcd.com/123/ interesting ways]...

* '''Ω (capital omega)''' — This symbol has been used for a {{w|Omega_function|variety of mathematical functions}}. Also used for the symbol for {{w|ohms}}, a unit for electrical resistance.

* '''ω (lower-case omega)''' — Lower-case omega is used for the {{w|Transfinite_number|lowest transfinite ordinal number}}, a specific way of referring to a type of infinity in a mathematically robust way. The line about dying here among the transfinite equations may be in reference to the literally infinite scope of the branch of mathematics.

* '''σ (lower-case sigma)''' — In statistics, commonly refers to the standard deviation of a distribution. Statistics often attempts to use simplified models to explain real-world phenomena.

* '''ξ (lower-case xi)''' —

* '''γ (lower-case gamma)''' — Gamma ray is the most powerful classification of electromagnetic radiation AKA "light", and powerful lights are frequently associated with high-tech, futuristic devices and weapons, hence "space noises". Alternatively, this might be a reference to the Lorentz factor, an important variable in special relativity calculations.

* '''ρ (lower-case rho)''' — often used to measure density, such as air density that a wing might be travelling through.

* '''Ξ (capital xi)''' — Resembles the icon of some {{w|Stack Exchange}} [https://stackexchange.com/sites# sites]

* '''ψ (lower-case psi)''' — Psi looks exactly like a trident. This is hilarious. In quantum mechanics it's used to describe the wave function of a particle, leading to a bad pun. (Psi is also used in mathematics to represent the sum of the inverse of the Fibonacci numbers, the division polynomials, and the supergolden ratio.)

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Header:]
:What Greek letters mean in equations

:[What follows is a list of Greek letters, with explanations next to them.]
:π This math is either very simple or impossible.
:Δ Something has changed.
:δ Something has changed and it's a mathematician's fault.
:θ Circles!
:Φ '''''O R B S'''''
:ϵ Not important, don't worry about it.
:υ,ν Is that a V or a U? Or...oh no, it's one of ''those''.
:μ This math is cool but it's not about anything that you will ever see or touch, so whatever.
:Σ Thank you for purchasing ''Addition Pro''®!
:Π ...and the ''Multiplication''® expansion pack!
:ζ This math will only lead to more math.
:β There are just too many coefficients.
:α Oh boy, now '''''this''''' is math about something real. This is math that could '''''kill''''' someone.
:Ω Oooh, ''some'' mathematician thinks their function is cool and important.
:ω A lot of work went into these equations and you are going to die here among them.
:σ Some poor soul is trying to apply this math to real life and it's not working.
:ξ Either this is terrifying mathematics or there was a hair on the scanned page.
:γ ''Zoom'' pew pew pew [space noises] ''zoooom!''
:ρ Unfortunately, the test vehicle suffered an unexpected wing separation event.
:Ξ Greetings! We hope to learn a great deal by exchanging knowledge with your Earth mathematicians.
:ψ You have entered the domain of King Trition, ruler of the waves.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Language]]

2583: Chorded Keyboard

2022-02-19T07:16:58Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ ce

{{comic
| number = 2583
| date = February 18, 2022
| title = Chorded Keyboard
| image = chorded_keyboard.png
| titletext = And even though it all went wrong / I'll stand before the lord of song / with nothing on my tongue but 'I don't understand, I swear I backed up my keyboard config before messing with it'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by LEONARD COHEN - Someone with proper computer knowledge should probably elaborate on the terms "chorded keyboard" and "keyboard config". Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This strip is a parody of the first verse (and in the title text, the end of the last verse) of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". Cueball has somehow set up his computer so that, upon pressing a certain combination of keys on his keyboard, the system will automatically type out the word "hallelujah" (xkcd's all-caps typesetting makes it unclear how the word is capitalized).

Technically, a {{w|chorded keyboard}} is one in which (nearly) all inputs are made by simultaneous pressing of a given combination of a limited number of keys, such as a literal handful of non-alphabetic keys that the user learns to combine to represent the key-presses of more standard keyboards. The workings of such a keyboard tends to be handled internally, sending to the computer the signal(s) that ''would'' have been sent from its larger cousin.

By inclusion of traditional key descriptions for a 'standard' keyboard (e.g. the 104-key US QWERTY version that Randall is probably most familiar with), the meaning is probably instead that of using a combination of normally single-use keys (the 'H' and a cursor) with others, including modifiers ('shift' and 'control'), i.e. 'chording' ''with'' his keyboard. This seems to go beyond regular use (shift and a character changing the character case, ctrl and a character may give a editing command) or normal combinations (ctrl, alt and the 'e' may result in the 'é', where the keyboard does not otherwise support it) and even goes beyond [[378: Real Programmers|emacs-like serialised metacommands]] which is a software feature. It seems more likely that such a setup is handled within the computer, either defined within the OS or (as is often the case with specialist configurable gaming keyboards) via the driver installed to mediate such esoteric keyboard combinations as the user has predefined for themselves.

Cueball's combination-keypress may in fact be better termed a 'macro', in some contexts. The single event, somehow triggered by this particular simultaneous multi-key input, invokes the injection of a pre-programmed sequence of standard characters into the appropriate text-buffer/-stream in leiu of manual input.

The title text spoofs the last verse of the song, with "Hallelujah" being replaced by Cueball trailing off musing about having apparently lost the backup of his keyboard configuration, implying that he ended up in a position where he would want to restore said backup (for instance, having tampered with it to the point he is no longer capable of operating the keyboard efficiently, if at all).

As added irony, while in the original that verse is hopeful, with the singer being thankful for experiencing joy even from a relationship that ultimately failed, contrarily in the alt text Cueball is apparently expressing regret. Or, if taken literally, it could instead imply that God himself is questioning Cueball about his tampering with software, which could fit with the running gag of [[Cueball Computer Problems|Cueball's (often self-inflicted) computer problems being hyperbolically atrocious]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball is sitting in an office chair at his desk, hands on his keyboard, looking at his desktop.]
:I heard there was a secret chord
:That David pressed and it typed a word

:[The camera zoomed in on Cueball, and we see him from the waist up]
:But you don't use a chorded keyboard, do you

:[The third frames are like the first, except Cueball's arms are moved]
:It goes like this, <control> and <shift>
:The other hand hits H and <left>

:[The fourth frame is like the first and third, but the arms are moved again]
:And all at once it types out
:Hallelujah

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Songs]]

2583: Chorded Keyboard

2022-02-19T07:16:35Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ ce

{{comic
| number = 2583
| date = February 18, 2022
| title = Chorded Keyboard
| image = chorded_keyboard.png
| titletext = And even though it all went wrong / I'll stand before the lord of song / with nothing on my tongue but 'I don't understand, I swear I backed up my keyboard config before messing with it'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by LEONARD COHEN - Someone with proper computer knowledge should probably elaborate on the terms "chorded keyboard" and "keyboard config". Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This strip is a parody of the first verse (and in the title text, the end of the last verse) of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". Cueball has somehow set up his computer so that, upon pressing a certain combination of keys on his keyboard, the system will automatically type out the word "hallelujah" (xkcd's all-caps typesetting makes it unclear how the word is capitalized).

Technically, a {{w|chorded keyboard}} is one in which (nearly) all inputs are made by simultaneous pressing of a given combination of a limited number of keys, such as a literal handful of non-alphabetic keys that the user learns to combine to represent the key-presses of more standard keyboards. The workings of such a keyboard tends to be handled internally, sending to the computer the signal(s) that ''would'' have been sent from its larger cousin.

By inclusion of traditional key descriptions for a 'standard' keyboard (e.g. the 104-key US QWERTY version that Randall is probably most familiar with), the meaning is probably instead that of using a combination of normally single-use keys (the 'H' and a cursor) with others, including modifiers ('shift' and 'control'), i.e. 'chording' ''with'' his keyboard. This seems to go beyond regular use (shift and a character changing the character case, ctrl and a character may give a editing command) or normal combinations (ctrl, alt and the 'e' may result in the 'é', where the keyboard does not otherwise support it) and even goes beyond [[378: Real Programmers|emacs-like serialised metacommands]] which is a software feature. It seems more likely that such a setup is handled within the computer, either defined within the OS or (as is often the case with specialist configurable gaming keyboards) via the driver installed to mediate such esoteric keyboard combinations as the user has predefined for themselves.

Cueball's combination-keypress may in fact be better termed a 'macro', in some contexts. The single event, somehow triggered by this particular simultaneous multi-key input, invokes the injection of a pre-programmed sequence of standard characters into the appropriate text-buffer/-stream in leiu of manual input.

The title text spoofs the last verse of the song, with "Hallelujah" being replaced by Cueball trailing off musing about having apparently lost the backup of his keyboard configuration, implying that he ended up in a position where he would want to restore said backup (for instance, having tampered with it to the point he is no longer capable of operating the keyboard efficiently, if at all).

As added irony, while in the original that verse is hopeful, with the singer being thankful for experiencing joy even from a relationship that ultimately failed, contrarily in the alt text Cueball is apparently expressing regret. Or, if taken literally, it could instead imply that God himself is questioning Cueball about his tampering with software, which could fit with the running gag of [[Cueball Computer Problems|Cueball's (often self-inflicted) computer problems being hyperbolically atrocious]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball is sitting in an office chair at his desk, hands on his keyboard, looking at his desktop.]
:I heard there was a secret chord
:That David pressed and it typed a word

:[The camera zoomed in on Cueball, and we see him from the waist up]
:But you don't use a chorded keyboard, do you

:[The third frames are like the first, except Cueball's arms are moved]
:It goes like this <control> and <shift>
:The other hand hits H and <left>

:[The fourth frame is like the first and third, but the arms are moved again]
:And all at once it types out
:Hallelujah

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Songs]]

2583: Chorded Keyboard

2022-02-19T07:16:06Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ fmt

{{comic
| number = 2583
| date = February 18, 2022
| title = Chorded Keyboard
| image = chorded_keyboard.png
| titletext = And even though it all went wrong / I'll stand before the lord of song / with nothing on my tongue but 'I don't understand, I swear I backed up my keyboard config before messing with it'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by LEONARD COHEN - Someone with proper computer knowledge should probably elaborate on the terms "chorded keyboard" and "keyboard config". Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This strip is a parody of the first verse (and in the title text, the end of the last verse) of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". Cueball has somehow set up his computer so that, upon pressing a certain combination of keys on his keyboard, the system will automatically type out the word "hallelujah" (xkcd's all-caps typesetting makes it unclear how the word is capitalized).

Technically, a {{w|chorded keyboard}} is one in which (nearly) all inputs are made by simultaneous pressing of a given combination of a limited number of keys, such as a literal handful of non-alphabetic keys that the user learns to combine to represent the key-presses of more standard keyboards. The workings of such a keyboard tends to be handled internally, sending to the computer the signal(s) that ''would'' have been sent from its larger cousin.

By inclusion of traditional key descriptions for a 'standard' keyboard (e.g. the 104-key US QWERTY version that Randall is probably most familiar with), the meaning is probably instead that of using a combination of normally single-use keys (the 'H' and a cursor) with others, including modifiers ('shift' and 'control'), i.e. 'chording' ''with'' his keyboard. This seems to go beyond regular use (shift and a character changing the character case, ctrl and a character may give a editing command) or normal combinations (ctrl, alt and the 'e' may result in the 'é', where the keyboard does not otherwise support it) and even goes beyond [[378: Real Programmers|emacs-like serialised metacommands]] which is a software feature. It seems more likely that such a setup is handled within the computer, either defined within the OS or (as is often the case with specialist configurable gaming keyboards) via the driver installed to mediate such esoteric keyboard combinations as the user has predefined for themselves.

Cueball's combination-keypress may in fact be better termed a 'macro', in some contexts. The single event, somehow triggered by this particular simultaneous multi-key input, invokes the injection of a pre-programmed sequence of standard characters into the appropriate text-buffer/-stream in leiu of manual input.

The title text spoofs the last verse of the song, with "Hallelujah" being replaced by Cueball trailing off musing about having apparently lost the backup of his keyboard configuration, implying that he ended up in a position where he would want to restore said backup (for instance, having tampered with it to the point he is no longer capable of operating the keyboard efficiently, if at all).

As added irony, while in the original that verse is hopeful, with the singer being thankful for experiencing joy even from a relationship that ultimately failed, contrarily in the alt text Cueball is apparently expressing regret. Or, if taken literally, it could instead imply that God himself is questioning Cueball about his tampering with software, which could fit with the running gag of [[Cueball Computer Problems|Cueball's (often self-inflicted) computer problems being hyperbolically atrocious]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball is sitting in an office chair at his desk, hands on his keyboard, looking at his desktop.]
:I heard there was a secret chord
:That David pressed and it typed a word

:[The camera zoomed in on Cueball, and we see him from the waist up]
:But you don't use a chorded keyboard do you

:[The third frames are like the first, except Cueball's arms are moved]
:It goes like this <control> and <shift>
:The other hand hits H and <left>

:[The fourth frame is like the first and third, but the arms are moved again]
:And all at once it types out
:Hallelujah

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Songs]]

2583: Chorded Keyboard

2022-02-19T07:14:44Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ cats

{{comic
| number = 2583
| date = February 18, 2022
| title = Chorded Keyboard
| image = chorded_keyboard.png
| titletext = And even though it all went wrong / I'll stand before the lord of song / with nothing on my tongue but 'I don't understand, I swear I backed up my keyboard config before messing with it'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by LEONARD COHEN - Someone with proper computer knowledge should probably elaborate on the terms "chorded keyboard" and "keyboard config". Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This strip is a parody of the first verse (and in the title text, the end of the last verse) of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". Cueball has somehow set up his computer so that, upon pressing a certain combination of keys on his keyboard, the system will automatically type out the word "hallelujah" (xkcd's all-caps typesetting makes it unclear how the word is capitalized).

Technically, a {{w|chorded keyboard}} is one in which (nearly) all inputs are made by simultaneous pressing of a given combination of a limited number of keys, such as a literal handful of non-alphabetic keys that the user learns to combine to represent the key-presses of more standard keyboards. The workings of such a keyboard tends to be handled internally, sending to the computer the signal(s) that ''would'' have been sent from its larger cousin.

By inclusion of traditional key descriptions for a 'standard' keyboard (e.g. the 104-key US QWERTY version that Randall is probably most familiar with), the meaning is probably instead that of using a combination of normally single-use keys (the 'H' and a cursor) with others, including modifiers ('shift' and 'control'), i.e. 'chording' ''with'' his keyboard. This seems to go beyond regular use (shift and a character changing the character case, ctrl and a character may give a editing command) or normal combinations (ctrl, alt and the 'e' may result in the 'é', where the keyboard does not otherwise support it) and even goes beyond [[378: Real Programmers|emacs-like serialised metacommands]] which is a software feature. It seems more likely that such a setup is handled within the computer, either defined within the OS or (as is often the case with specialist configurable gaming keyboards) via the driver installed to mediate such esoteric keyboard combinations as the user has predefined for themselves.

Cueball's combination-keypress may in fact be better termed a 'macro', in some contexts. The single event, somehow triggered by this particular simultaneous multi-key input, invokes the injection of a pre-programmed sequence of standard characters into the appropriate text-buffer/-stream in leiu of manual input.

The title text spoofs the last verse of the song, with "Hallelujah" being replaced by Cueball trailing off musing about having apparently lost the backup of his keyboard configuration, implying that he ended up in a position where he would want to restore said backup (for instance, having tampered with it to the point he is no longer capable of operating the keyboard efficiently, if at all).

As added irony, while in the original that verse is hopeful, with the singer being thankful for experiencing joy even from a relationship that ultimately failed, contrarily in the alt text Cueball is apparently expressing regret. Or, if taken literally, it could instead imply that God himself is questioning Cueball about his tampering with software, which could fit with the running gag of [[Cueball Computer Problems|Cueball's (often self-inflicted) computer problems being hyperbolically atrocious]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[Cueball is sitting in an office chair at his desk, hands on his keyboard, looking at his desktop.]
I heard there was a secret chord

That David press and it typed a word

[The camera zoomed in on Cueball, and we see him from the waist up]

But you don't use a chorded keyboard do you

[The third frames are like the first, except Cueball's arms are moved]

It goes like this <control> and <shift>

The other hand hits H and <left>

[The fourth frame is like the first and third, but the arms are moved again]

And All at once it types out
Hallelujah

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Songs]]

862: Let Go

2022-02-02T17:37:31Z

172.69.33.207:

{{comic
| number = 862
| date = February 18, 2011
| title = Let Go
| image = let go.png
| titletext = After years of trying various methods, I broke this habit by pitting my impatience against my laziness. I decoupled the action and the neurological reward by setting up a simple 30-second delay I had to wait through, in which I couldn't do anything else, before any new page or chat client would load (and only allowed one to run at once). The urge to check all those sites magically vanished--and my 'productive' computer use was unaffected.
}}

==Explanation==
It is human nature to lose interest in difficult or boring tasks, and instead do something easier, more interesting or more rewarding in the short term. While procrastination and distraction from more important tasks has always been present, this comic casts a light on the internet and the huge potential for distraction which it provides.

The first two frames in this comic are the set-up, and contain the websites [https://cnn.com CNN] and [https://old.reddit.com Reddit]] and thoughts over the top of them. These types of websites are regularly updated with new content are prime candidates for distraction. The thought bubbles indicate that the reader is fully aware that they shouldn't be looking at these websites, but is unable to stop himself. Even the very rational thought that checking news stories more than once a day is bordering on pointless doesn't seem to stop him.

In the third frame, it starts to look a little different as the screen is not a computer but is in fact the targeting computer from {{w|Luke Skywalker|Luke Skywalker's}} {{w|X-wing}}. At this point it becomes clear that there are ''far'' more important tasks at hand, namely flying the craft. Even then, Luke has an internal conflict and considers checking [https://facebook.com Facebook], but mentally checks himself, and to prevent himself from further compulsive browsing shuts down the system. The thought bubble at the bottom is one that is probably familiar to many people (especially students), where he realizes that he has to turn off the computer to actually concentrate on the important task.

In the fourth frame, we finally get the movie reference from {{w|Star Wars}} as {{w|Princess Leia}} and one of the Rebel Alliance's officers are gathered around the holographic table that allows them to follow the battle. In the movie, Luke turns off his targeting computer because he uses the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Force_%28Star_Wars%29 force] to fire the torpedoes at the right time. But in this comic, Luke turns off the computer because he keeps getting distracted by Reddit and CNN. When they ask whether he is alright, he responds in the way most people would who have nearly been caught wasting time on the internet. This is however a quote of what he actually replies in the movie.

See the [http://youtu.be/DOFgFAcGHQc Destruction of Death Star] scene on YouTube. The ''Let Go'' remark from {{w|Obi-Wan Kenobi}} that had given the title to this comic occurs about [http://youtu.be/DOFgFAcGHQc?t=2m two minutes into the clip]. Though here it is a reference to let go of refreshing websites...

The headlines on CNN read 'Bees?', 'Where is {{w|Oman}}?', and 'iReport (we mean you, that is.)'.

The headline ''Bees?'' could be a reference to {{w|Cards Against Humanity}}. One of the white cards says exactly that. It could also just be a question to the picture above - if it was bees following the guy.

The headline ''Where is Oman?'' is below a map where land is white. It shows Cyprus, Northern Egypt and the Middle East with the Mediterranean Sea, the Red Sea and the Persian Gulf (seas are grey). Oman is not on this map as it is not situated on the Persian Gulf; it's on the Gulf of Oman and on the Arabian Sea, both of which can be considered parts of the Indian Ocean.

The title text is a serious solution to a procrastination problem that we see in the comic, [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/02/18/distraction-affliction-correction-extensio/ later explained] to take the form of simply rebooting the computer. Randall just used the honor system, rather than enforcing this behavior with a program, but he solicited suggestions from his commenters for browser addons, for people who could not simply reboot their computers for whatever reason. At the time, a commenter suggested DelaySites, but that addon is no longer available; nowadays, Mozilla recommends [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/leechblock-ng/?src=search LeechBlock NG] (also [https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/leechblock-ng/blaaajhemilngeeffpbfkdjjoefldkok?hl=en-US available for Chrome]), which can be configured to implement the loading delay or block websites entirely, with additional parameters for adjusting time limits for browsing and the time of day and days of the week that each behavior is active.

==Transcript==
:[Reddit page.]
:Luke (thinking): I shouldn't be looking at Reddit. Why can't I stop?

:[CNN page.]
:Luke (thinking): Refreshing CNN again. Do news stories so affect my life that I benefit from checking them more than once a day?

:[Shutdown screen.]
:Luke (thinking): I should at least check Faceb... no. Screw it. I can't do my job when I'm distracting myself every five minutes like this.

:[Cueball and Princess Leia looking at a battlefield screen.]
:Cueball: His computer's off. Luke - You've switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?
:Luke: Nothing. I'm all right.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Internet]]

2570: Captain Picard Tea Order

2022-01-21T20:43:59Z

172.69.33.207: /* Explanation */ eh

{{comic
| number = 2570
| date = January 19, 2022
| title = Captain Picard Tea Order
| image = captain_picard_tea_order.png
| titletext = We can ask the Earl for his order once he's fully extruded from the dispenser.
}}
*This was the fifth comic to come out after the [[Countdown in header text]] started.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A VERY ATTRACTIVE BUT NEWLY FORMED 19th CENTURY BRITISH PRIME MINISTER- Please change this comment when editing this page. There would be way too many additional [[285: Wikipedian Protester|citations needed]] for it to work here. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Captain {{w|Jean-Luc Picard}} is a primary character in the science fiction TV series ''{{w|Star Trek: The Next Generation}}'', which is focused on the crew of a starship. The ship is equipped with {{w|Replicator (Star Trek)|replicators}}, which can create virtually any object or material requested, including food and drink, and which respond to verbal commands.

In the show, Picard's beverage of choice is {{w|Earl Grey tea}}. His habitual method for ordering is to first specify what he wants (tea, in this case), then specify a particular type (Earl Grey), and then give specific instructions for how it is to be served (hot, as opposed to {{w|iced tea}}). Because this is his favored drink, he repeatedly places the exact order "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaAT6-dY1QI Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.]" The first picture in the strip implies that the display shows each part of the order, and provides a list of options for the next step.

[[Randall]] parodies this repeated order by suggesting [[#Other Words|other words]] that could follow "Tea. Earl Grey.", starting from ones he considers more "normal" moving to those he presumes increasingly "less normal" down a long and winding arrow. (While some of his choices may be uncontroversial, there's an arbitrary nature to some choices such as whether "solid" tea is more or less "normal" than "dry" tea.)

The results of two examples from the normal/less-normal scale are also illustrated: Sticky tea and loud tea. Sticky is kind of obvious, though perhaps not immediately understandable, the loud version is a tea that screams "Teeee..." The vibrating and screeching teacup may be a reference to the various ''Star Trek'' episodes about {{w|tribble}}s, which behave in a similar way in the presence of Klingons.

The very last qualifying addition, the least normal is not a single word but "Tea for him, too." This reinterprets the meaning of the standard introductory words, suggesting that "tea", and "Earl Grey" are separate orders, which implies that he wants the replicator to produce tea, then replicate a human being named Earl Grey (either one of the {{w|Earl Grey|Earls Grey}} or a person surnamed Grey with the given name of Earl), then a second tea to serve to this newly created person. {{w|Earl Grey tea}} is named after the {{w|Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey}}, a 19th century British Prime Minister, and Captain Picard possibly wishes to have said Earl be generated to provide him with company.

In contrast to the often trivial use of a replicator as merely a potentially infinitely versatile vending machine, the comic sets up a number of quite esoteric options, culminating in Earl Gray himself potentially drinking (generic) tea, after both the tea and he have been replicated into existence by Picard.

In the title text, someone tells Picard that they should wait until the Earl has been fully extruded from the dispenser, and ''then'' ascertain what he would actually wish to drink. The presumption is that it could take some time to get a full living person out of the replicator.

In the various versions of ''{{w|Star Trek}}'', it's established that {{w|Replicator_(Star_Trek)#Origins_and_limitations|replicators aren't capable of producing living things}}, so canonically this version of the order could not be filled.

===Other Words===
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=1 class="wikitable"
! Word !! Explanation
|-
| Hot
| A fairly normal word to be used when ordering tea (though it calls into question why Picard needs to specify "hot" [hotter than normal?]). Although that it even needs specifying is itself a clue that other variations (such as "Iced", below) are available. This is the chosen word of the five visible words Picard is potentially presented with in the first drawing. The act of requesting this is thus illustrated, though not of the appearance of the tea itself.
|-
| Iced
| {{w|Iced Tea}} is a 'normal' variation of tea.
|-
| Decaf
| Traditional teas (from {{w|Camellia sinensis}}) tend to have caffeine in them. Asking for {{w|Decaffeination|decaffeinated}} tea is not particularly uncommon if the drinker requires it. In the series ''Picard'', set several decades after ''The Next Generation'', Picard does actually order "Tea, Earl Grey, decaf" in [https://tvline.com/2020/01/26/star-trek-picard-premiere-easter-eggs-earl-grey-decaf/ one scene].
|-
| Good
| A normal, subjective term. Most people drinking tea would want it to be good, but to specify it like this would perhaps be strange. This is one of the words in the first drawing, as a listed alternative to Hot.
|-
| Lukewarm
| While this is a temperature that tea can be at, most people (including Picard) do not want their teas to be lukewarm.
|-
| Tasty
| Similar to good, most people would want their tea to be tasty, or at least flavorsome.
|-
| Boiled
| Boiling the water used to make the tea is a common and normal way to increase the flavor and nutrients extracted from the tea leaves, though it is suggested that the actual ideal temperature of hot water is 75-98°C (167-210°F), according to whether it is a light tea or a dark one, and that perhaps it should be sipped at around 65°C/150°F-ish if desired 'hot'.
Having made a tea and ''then'' bringing it back to the boil (especially after adding milk/etc.) may destroy some of the desirable qualities previously imbued.
|-
| Watery
| Tea is a drink that often involves water, but this perhaps suggests over dilution or under infusion in some way.
|-
| Sour
| Many people do not enjoy a sour taste, which can accompany rot and is a strange thing to specify when ordering Earl Grey tea. Although lemon juice is often an additive used in the same way (but as a complete alternative) to milk.
|-
| Meaty
| Most teas are plant-based. While teas such as {{w|Beef tea|Beef Tea}} do exist they are more generally regarded as either a soup or a medicine. Furthermore, this kind of tea would be unlikely to be Earl Grey, making this statement less normal.
|-
| Solid
| Tea is usually drunk as a liquid. It would be strange to ask for solid tea, unless there was a situation where it could be rehydrated later.
|-
| Dry
| Tea is a liquid typically made with water and may have milk. A dry version might be either unmade (e.g. tea leaves in their un-infused form) or freeze-dried back into a dehydrated form.
"Dry" can also be used to describe {{w|Dryness (taste)|a "mouth feel"}} in a [https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2f1gxx/eli5_how_can_a_drink_taste_dry/ variety of drinks] ''or'' {{w|Prohibition|enforced alcohol-free scenarios}}. For the latter option, it can assume a default serving with an {{w|Hot_toddy#Variations|alcoholic component}}, or an entirely {{w|Long Island iced tea|alternate basis}} for the beverage, which the request needs to be specify it is not.
This is one of the five words Picard was seen presented with in the first drawing.
|-
| Raw
| This describes tea that has not been "cooked", so it would just be tea made with room-temperature water. This is {{w|Iced_tea#Sun_tea|possible}} but generally takes many hours.
|-
| Deep-fried
| Tea is not usually deep-fried. But you'll probably {{w|Deep-fried Mars bar|find someone}} who has tried it, [https://www.pitco.com/blog/deep-fried-liquids-trend one way or another].
|-
| Sticky
| Perhaps significantly dehydrated, or thickened with enough of a hydrophilic substance, this would produce something very unlike most teas that would usually be requested. For example, the addition of significant amounts of sugar may lead to a more viscous brew.
This scenario is illustrated to show a clearly messy product that awkwardly sticks to and drips from the replicator as well as Picard.
|-
| Grilled
| Tea is not usually grilled.
|-
| Fossilized
| Fossilizing leaves replaces their biological molecules with minerals. Brewing fossilized tea leaves would dissolve some of those and produce a beverage that resembles mineral water more than tea.
|-
| Magnetic
| Tea is not magnetic. Magnetic metals would have to be added to the tea, which would not be pleasant to drink. In addition, consuming more than one magnetic source may end up squeezing tissues in the intestines or bowels, with potentially lethal consequences. However, this would not be the {{w|Irn-Bru|first drink}} to be supplemented with iron.
|-
| Ballistic
| Usually, the replicated beverage is deposited in a stationary cup, but Picard could ask for it to be dropped or thrown out instead.
|-
| Unstable
| This word is often used to refer to radioactive or explosive materials, which hopefully is not a property that would apply to something meant to be ingested. Alternatively, this could imply that the receptacle into which the tea is delivered should be unstable - being unbalanced, or lacking a flat bottom. This is likely to lead to the tea being spilled.
|-
| Blessed
| Tea is a beverage, and it may be strange to ask a machine to create 'blessed' tea. However, if the machine were to use holy water, already blessed by a human, it is [https://www.quora.com/When-does-Holy-water-lose-its-Holiness-If-its-boiled-is-the-resulting-water-vapor-still-considered-Holy-Does-it-lose-its-Holy-property-when-it-transfers-into-a-gas-Is-it-still-Holy-when-it%E2%80%99s-frozen#:~:text=In%20other%20words%2C%20as%20long,else%2C%20it%20remains%20holy%20water.&text=a%20simple%20change-,Never.,He%20is%20faithful possible] for it to remain "blessed" after the water is used to make tea. It is also possible that this is a reference to tea which could be used in [http://www.archbishoplefebvre.com/blog/baptism-can-i-use-any-liquid baptism].
In role-playing games, items can be Blessed, i.e. having greater positive or lesser negative effects. This includes potions, a class of drinks that do not usually include any teas but could contain the "potion of water", which may also, therefore, be the basis of this blessed brew.
|-
| Blurry
| Being blurry is not a normal state for tea to have. Cloudy, on the other hand, is quite normal for certain brews.
|-
| Loud
| While molecules in tea (especially hot tea, and vitally so in an {{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (novel)|Infinite Improbability Drive}}) do move vigorously, this does not usually result in distinct audible effects.
However, as illustrated, it seems the requested cup of tea is produced capable of emitting a high-pitched, high-volume whining sound that entirely dominates the vicinity. It actually appears to somewhat vocalize what it is, Teeeee...
|-
| Virtual
| Virtual tea cannot be produced physically, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange. However, it might be useful on the holodeck, a device that can produce a virtual environment able to be interacted with.
|-
| Intravenous
| This means the tea would be injected directly into the customer's veins, likely a very painful experience if the tea comes out boiling. Instrument of choice would probably be a {{w|Infuser|''tea infuser''}}.
|-
| Expanding
| In a sense, most hot tea is expanding: as the water in the tea evaporates, it becomes much less dense, increasing in "size".
But most people would probably argue that the evaporated water is no longer part of the tea. Water, like most materials, usually expands as it increases in temperature—except between freezing and about 4° C, where it has the unusual property of {{w|Water_%28molecule%29#Density_of_water_and_ice|''contracting slightly''}} as temperature increases. If tea behaves similarly despite the extra dissolved compounds, then "expanding tea" would describe any tea between 4° C and boiling point. Possibly beyond, and explosively so, if {{w|Superheating|superheated}} and then nucleating points are introduced.
On the other hand, this tea may simply be tea spilled on the floor, which could then spread out as it evaporated.
|-
| Ironic
| How tea could be ironic will be a mystery if your culture has no understanding of irony. The irony of the most celebrated Frenchman in science fiction history delighting in a very British beverage is a nice touch of cosmopolitanism. There is also a possibility that the tea will speak or otherwise communicate in ironic terms. While this is very strange and unlikely, it can be considered, given the other scenarios on this list.
|-
| Segmented
| Tea is usually served in a cup. There is the simple explanation that the cup is divided into segments, though this is the cup, and not technically the tea itself. Tea tends to stick together and form one liquid making it hard to segment. Separating the tea into segments would not be possible without some form of an emulsifying gel.
|-
| Verbose
| This describes using lots of words and language, and would not likely be used for tea, because it cannot speak. Command-line computer programs often run in a 'silent' mode without displaying every step of what happens on the screen. Such programs may have a {{w|Verbose mode|''-verbose'' parameter}} that disables the silent mode. As the replicator is run by a computer, the verbose parameter could be applied to the process of tea-making, with the replicator providing an info-dump on the molecular arrangement of the tea, together with the cup of liquid.
|-
| Cursed
| As with "Blessed", above, items can be Cursed in role-playing games, i.e. having greater negative or lesser positive effects; while there are strategic uses for Cursed items, generally the player would prefer uncursed ones (neutral or blessed). Amongst the curseable items are potions, a class of consumables that do not usually include any teas but does contain the "potion of water", which may therefore be the cause of this cursed cuppa.
Cursed items have featured in xkcd previously: [[2332: Cursed Chair]], [[2376: Curbside]], and [[:Category:Cursed Connectors]].

"Cursed items" are more vaguely defined in real life, making "cursed tea" something rare. However, it is possible for a drink to be [https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-know-if-my-drink-had-a-witchs-hex-potion hexed].
|-
| Unexpected
| By definition, Picard is asking for tea, expecting it promptly. Perhaps the request for it to be "unexpected" would cause it to be delivered at an unknown time in the future, or to have some alteration.
|-
| Bipedal
| Bipedal organisms have two feet. As tea does not walk, this would be a very strange term to use when describing tea.
|-
| Afraid
| Tea does not have feelings. Although water {{w|Water memory|may remember things}} (at least pseudo-scientifically) or [https://www.quotes.net/mquote/901305 consider some things to be unpleasant].
|-
| Infinite
| The scope of this request is unclear. It could mean endless production (a steady stream of tea, without obvious limits so long as servicing the request remains practical), an instantaneous production of an infinite volume of tea (possibly more immediately shown to be flawed in its method of execution), or tea which will exceed the heat death of the universe. Either could result in an infinitely ''dense'' tea (eventually?), but this may no longer be {{w|No-hair theorem|identifiable as tea}} so might be one of the less practical options, even amongst those on this list.
Indeed, Randall ranks it as the least 'normal', except for just ''one'' further named order.
|-
| Tea for him, too
| {{w|Earl Grey tea|Earl Grey}} is a tea blend. In Star Trek, Jean-Luc Picard often offers tea to other people, so it is unclear why this would be the least normal.
Taken along with the title text, this Replicator order is for "Tea" (not otherwise qualified), a replicated version ''of'' the Earl Grey (one or other of those {{w|Earl Grey|of that name}}, possibly the {{w|Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey|2nd Earl}} for whom the tea blend was supposedly named) and a second such beverage for him to later drink. See more in the [[#Explanation|explanation]] above regarding the title text
|-
! colspan="2" | Words Picard could have seen in the first drawing, but which were not included as labels on the line
|-
| Cold
| Like Iced tea, asking for cold tea is a relatively normal request.
|-
| Pink
| Earl grey is usually an orange-brown color, not pink. There are, however, a wide variety of [https://www.adagio.com/search/index.html?query=rose teas which come from pink leaves] or [https://www.flourandspiceblog.com/karachi-style-kashmiri-chai-pink-tea/ whose color is "pinkish"].
|}

==Transcript==
:[At the top of the panel, there is a large caption covering two lines with a sub-caption below in a normal-sized font:]
:<big>Other words Captain Picard tried at the end of his tea order before settling on "hot"</big>
:From most normal to least

:[Bellow this we see Picard, drawn bald except for a bit of hair near his ears and behind his head. He stands next to a machine, which is a standing rectangle of the same dimensions as Picard. In the front, there is an opening around the middle, a dispenser from where the ordered items can be retrieved. There is a label at the top of the machine. Picard is giving a command to the machine. His first three words are clearly spoken out as they stand, but then at the end of the sentence, instead of just adding one more word, there is a list of five words in a column between two gray lines. Five words are visible, but the top and bottom words are fading out, presumably other words are above and below, but no longer visible. All except the middle are gray. The middle word is placed as the direct follow up to the first three words in the sentence Picard speaks out, and this word is black like the previous three words. So this middle word is clearly the one he actually speaks out. The others were options, presumably on his mind.]
:Label: Replicator
:Picard:
Good.
Cold.
Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
Dry.
Pink.

:[To the left of the machine, a long arrow begins snaking its way towards the bottom, where it ends in an arrow pointing down towards the bottom of the panel. At the top, there is a broad and thick bar from which it starts. Beneath this there are several ticks, the first three are close together and on a part of the arrow that goes almost straight down. But then the arrow curves in under the drawing of Picard, and goes over another drawing of him, placed in a captioned frame. The arrow goes around this and up on the other side, where it goes around another drawing of Picard in a similarly captioned frame. After having gone around this frame it goes a bit up before turning almost straight down before the final arrowhead that points down. In total there are 36 labeled ticks on the arrow, see labels below. The ticks have very varying distances between them. There are especially long between them around the first panels with Picard, but closer together at the start and towards the very end. Above the top bar from where the arrow starts there is also a label and just below this and to the left of the long arrow is a smaller arrow pointing down in the direction of the long arrow. This small arrow has a label at its starting point.]
:Bar label: Normal
:Small arrow label: Less normal

:[The second drawing of Picard, shows him standing next to the labeled machine. Picard is this time holding a cup, with sticky lines connecting his hands and the machine to the cup. He clearly looks down at the cup rather than on the machine, as the hair behind his ear is turned differently than the first drawing, where he looks straight towards the machine. Above is a label inside a frame overlaid on the top line of the panel, with what Picard ordered:]
:"Tea. Earl Grey. Sticky."
:Label: Replicator

:[The third drawing of Picard, only displays him and not the machine. He is holding a vibrating cup in both hands and has now turned the other way, away from where the machine was in the previous drawings (again clearly seen by his hair). Very large letters are displayed in three lines behind him to the exclusion of all else. Four of the 15 letters are partly hidden behind the panel's frame, and seven of them are partly covered by Picard. Above is a label inside a frame overlaid on the top line of the panel, with what Picard ordered:]
:"Tea. Earl Grey. Loud."
:Teacup: <big>'''Teeeeeeeeeeeeee'''</big>

:[Words on the arrow from start to finish:]
:Hot
:Iced
:Decaf
:Good
:Lukewarm
:Tasty
:Boiled
:Watery
:Sour
:Meaty
:Solid
:Dry
:Raw
:Deep-fried
:Sticky
:Grilled
:Fossilized
:Magnetic
:Ballistic
:Unstable
:Blessed
:Blurry
:Loud
:Virtual
:Intravenous
:Expanding
:Ironic
:Segmented
:Verbose
:Cursed
:Unexpected
:Bipedal
:Afraid
:Infinite
:Tea for him, too

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Food]]

2426: Animal Songs

2021-02-19T17:57:10Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ ce

{{comic
| number = 2426
| date = February 17, 2021
| title = Animal Songs
| image = animal_songs.png
| titletext = Dr. Fauci is not permitted to have a cat, because as director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, his petting one would be considered giving aid and comfort to an allergen.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by DR. FAUCI IN PRIVATE. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is another in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 pandemic}} of the {{w|coronavirus}} {{w|SARS-CoV-2}}, which causes {{w|COVID-19}}.

Also another joke about professionals not being so professional in private; e.g. [[2401]], [[1463]]

{{w|Dr. Anthony Fauci}} is the government medical science guy{{Citation needed}} (Director of the {{w|National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases}}) who was largely responsible for informing the public in the United States on how to avoid spreading {{w|SARS-CoV-2}} in the beginning of the {{w|COVID-19 pandemic}}. He was recently awarded a one million dollar prize for his recent work. This may be the press conference he is going to. The comic shows him singing a made-up song to his pet fish in order to memorise his daily routine, which Randall notes is a bizarre habit for an adult presented to the public as professional and having a prosaic "grown-up" manner.

In [[231: Cat Proximity]], it's presented as 'normal' for people to make inane statements and use {{w|baby talk}} near {{w|cat|cats}}, but here, Dr. Fauci is singing to his fish. The title text explains that, as he is the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, he is forbidden from owning a pet cat, because petting the cat would be "giving aid and comfort" to an allergen, which is (a reference to) one definition of {{w|Treason laws in the United States|treason under the United States Constitution}}.

==Transcript==
:[A man with a bit of hair, later shown to represent Dr. Fauci, is putting on a white lab coat as he walks past his fish tank. The tank, on a small table, has one small fish in it, looking at him. Inside the tank there is also a seaweed-like plant and a small castle and an even smaller pyramid. Seven music notes, 4 double and 3 single notes, are scattered about Fauci's speech which is written with lower case letters (normal capitalization) as opposed to normal xkcd text with all small caps.]
:Dr. Fauci: ♫ ''Putting on my doctor coat'' ♫

:[Dr. Fauci is buttoning the coat. He is now standing to the right of the fish tank. The fish has turned towards him and has moved to the end of the tank near him. He still sings with the same letter type and six music notes, 3 double and 3 single notes, are scattered around the text.]
:Dr. Fauci: ♫ ''It's the coat I wear'' ♫

:[Dr. Fauci is back to the left of the fish tank, looking at himself in a mirror, and touching his face. There is a small shelf with three items on the wall beneath the mirror. The fish has swam back to its original position turned towards him. He is still singing, with one double and one triple note on either side of his lyrics. An off-panel voice addresses him from the right, and he replies. These exchanges are written in normal xkcd small caps style.]
:Dr. Fauci: ♫ ''so they know how good a doctor I am'' ♫
:Off-panel voice: Dr. Fauci? The press conference is in five.
:Dr. Fauci: Be right there!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:It's nice to think about how serious and important people probably ''also'' absentmindedly sing made-up songs to pets.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Animals]]

2423: Project Orion

2021-02-11T05:21:51Z

172.69.33.207: /* Transcript */ category

{{comic
| number = 2423
| date = February 11, 2021
| title = Project Orion
| image = project_orion.png
| titletext = If you tune out again, when you tune back in you'll be hearing about dusty plasma fission fragment rockets.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a FADED PHYSICIST. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

White Hat and Cueball are having a conversation. In the first panel, Cueball is telling White Hat about his gardening experiences. White Hat tunes out for the middle two panels, and when he starts paying attention again, Cueball is discussing {{w|Project Orion (nuclear propulsion)|Project Orion}}.

Project Orion was an ambitious plan to launch enormous spaceships into orbit by detonating a series of nuclear bombs below them. The force from the explosions would be absorbed by a pusher plate on the bottom of the rocket, which is the detail Cueball is sharing when White Hat tunes back in. It was considered feasible for construction, but abandoned out of concerns for both cost and the idea of spaceships literally armed with atomic bombs. Its coolness and the fact that it involves physics and engineering may be why physicists' conversations tend to converge to it.

The fact that physicists' conversations tend to converge towards Project Orion is similar to how biologists' conversations tend to converge towards carcinization in [[2418: Metacarcinization]]. This may turn out to be part of a series, similarly to the scaled world series, that will show similar examples in other fields, such as meteorologists' conversations converging toward tornadogenesis, mathematicians' conversations converging toward the Riemann hypothesis, or Randall's conversations converging toward dinosaurs.

Project Orion has been mentioned before, in [[786: Exoplanets]], where Beret Guy sums it up as "nuke-riding city ships."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball is explaining to White Hat.]
:Cueball: Our garden grew really well last year, so we think we might put a second raised bed along the garage, if we can find a... [text fades to white]

:[Cueball looks around in confusion.]

:Cueball: [text fades back in] ...thanks to X-ray [ablation?], the pusher plate would absorb the nuclear blast, recoil, and then return to position for the next bomb. Such a wild idea! Probably good that it was abandoned.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Physics]]

1889: xkcd Phone 6

2021-02-05T07:19:19Z

172.69.33.207: /* List of features (clockwise from center/top) */

{{comic
| number = 1889
| date = September 13, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 6
| image = xkcd_phone_6.png
| titletext = We understand your privacy concerns; be assured that our phones will never store or transmit images of your face.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the sixth entry in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]], and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords, and horribly misuses all of them, to create a phone that sounds impressive but self-evidently isn't to even the most ignorant customer. The previous comic in the series [[1809: xkcd Phone 5 ]] was released 7 months before this one and the next [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] was released 8 and a half months later.

This comic was released the day after Apple announced their new {{w|iPhone 8}} and the higher-end {{w|iPhone X}} (pronounced iPhone 10) with facial recognition features.

===List of features (clockwise from center/top)===

; Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)
: A front camera has become a common feature of smartphones. The camera lens is located on the same side of the phone's case as the main screen, making it possible to capture the image of the user's face looking at the screen and display the interlocutor's face on the screen simultaneously, enabling video chat. However, as the camera is usually located above the screen, when the user looks at the displayed image of the other person they direct their eyes at the center of the screen and not at the camera's lens. This makes it appear on the other end of the chat as if the person talking was looking down and not making eye-contact, which can be an uncomfortable situation for many people. For this reason, professionals involved in movie or TV-making, like actors or reporters, are trained to look straight into the camera's lens while talking, which creates impression of looking straight at the viewer's face. During a video chat, however, looking into the lens of an above-screen camera does not allow one to see the interlocutor's face clearly because it is then in the peripheral field of vision.

: To solve this conundrum, Randall proposes locating the camera lens right in the middle of the screen. The user looking at the the other person's face on the screen would then also be looking at the lens, creating an impression on the other end of the chat that they are looking straight at the other person. This is absurd, since the lens would then take place of some of the center pixels of the screen, which would probably mean that it could not display the center part of the captured image of the other person's face. This could include features such as eyes and/or lips, which play an important part in non-verbal communication. Locating the camera lens in this way would probably also interfere with the touch-screen function. It would probably make other applications on the phone difficult to use, since virtually no user interface is designed to accommodate a blind spot in the center.

: The idea of having the camera in the middle of the screen is only currently absurd, however, as advances in technology may eventually enable such a feature to work without disturbing the appearance or function of the phone's display, unlike the visual disturbance clearly indicated in the comic. For instance, previous technological advancements have improved the functionality of the display, starting with adding touch sensing. The touch sensitive hardware of the phone is located in a thin layer above the hardware, that generates the image for the display, and capacitive touch sensing technology is less obtrusive than previous resistive sensing. While it has yet to be released to market, certain manufacturers are aiming to place a phone's fingerprint reader underneath the screen, for seamless functionality. Although it may be difficult at this point, figuring out a way to have a camera capture images through the array of pixels on the screen is not completely beyond imagination.

; Full-width rear camera
: Historically, there has been an 'arms race' among phone manufacturers to increase the 'size' of the rear camera, in terms of the number of pixels they can capture. This is not typically accompanied by equivalent increases in physical size, though. Phone cameras tend to have lenses which are quite small, and round or square -- measuring the same in width as in height. On this phone, the 'full-width' lens appears to be a long, thin strip, like an oval or rectangle shape. This could allow the camera to gather a lot more light, potentially working in low light situations. However the lens would be more vulnerable to damage and dirt. Unless a very large sensor was used, focusing the image could be a problem, since cell phones are typically not very deep.

; CDC partnership - phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
: U.S. {{w|Centers for Disease Control and Prevention}} is a government agency tasked with addressing public health concerns, such as infectious diseases, including seasonal flu. A common way of limiting the spread of an infectious disease is {{w|Vaccine|vaccination}}, which most often involves administering a specially prepared vaccine via an {{w|intramuscular injection}}, though researchers have investigated other delivery systems, including aerosol, or microneedle injection. Uptake of vaccination is often poor, and many governments routinely use various different campaigns and techniques to try to encourage more people to get themselves vaccinated.

: This feature implies that the phone would automatically perform some form of injection once a year, administering a vaccine via a small aperture while the user is holding the phone to their cheek during a call. However, the placement of this component is dubious, as it would line up with the user's ear, rather than their cheek, during a phone call. It may be designed to detect the fraction of a second during which your cheek would be in the appropriate position (perhaps after a phone call, as you may be dropping the phone from your ear), and administer it at that moment; this would conveniently prevent disturbances to a majority of conversations.

: A further absurdity to this feature is that the vaccine is different every year, in order to account for various mutations causing different, and typically new, strains of the virus, which is the reason it has to be administered yearly. The CDC bases the combination of strains on a best-guess of what will be the most significant strains in circulation over the upcoming year, so in order to have the current year's vaccine, the user would have to physically load the new version into the phone for later administration, or there would have to be a mechanism to synthesize the concoction on-board the phone, and an associated logistics framework and digital standards for OTA delivery of specifications for the year's vaccine.

; 12-function
: Most smartphones can be used for more than twelve different things{{Citation needed}}. However, this may refer to the twelve basic functions of algebra (identity, squaring, cubing, square root, logarithm, exponential, reciprocal, sine, cosine, greatest integer, absolute value, and logistic), or the twelve function keys on a modern keyboard (more than the ten on the original IBM PC keyboard). Alternatively, it may be a reference to calculators: basic models are sometimes referred to as four function calculators (addition, subtraction, multiplication and division), and complex scientific calculators may advertise 250 or more functions.

; Dishwasher safe
: Waterproofing has become a much-pushed feature of many recent smartphones, with manufacturers competing on the claimed resilience of their models. A phone that was truly dishwasher safe would be ahead in this race, as it would have to be able to withstand high-pressure jets of water, high temperatures, and caustic effects of detergent over significant periods. This is often listed as a selling point of items used for preparing, serving, or storing food, such as plastic containers or crockery, which a normal person might want to clean using a dishwasher, but it seems excessive for phones, which are rarely cleaned with anything more than a quick wipe, and most people would not intentionally attempt to clean in a dishwasher.

; GPS transmitter
: Many smartphones have a receiver for the {{w|Global Positioning System}}, which allows a phone to compute its position based on signals from the constellation(s) of GPS satellites. However, a device with a "GPS transmitter" would broadcast signals that would interfere with the GPS receivers of all devices nearby. This might be used in some form of differential GPS, broadcasting signals from a known location to allow more precise determination of other locations, or such a system might be used to confuse or control devices, such as drones, which navigate using GPS.

; 3-G acceleration
: This is a mixture of three unrelated concepts with similar names. In computer graphics, "{{w|Graphics processing unit|3-D acceleration}}" refers to GPU hardware that speeds up handling of three-dimensional data, such as shapes rotating in space. In physics, "3 Gs of acceleration" refers to speed increasing at a rate of 3 times the acceleration of Earth's gravity, or approximately 30 m/s². In cellular networks, {{w|3G}} refers to a standard for data communication. GPUs, accelerometers, and compatibility with 3G networks are all normal features of modern smartphones. "3-G acceleration", however, is not a real term, and doesn't describe any meaningful feature of a phone. It appears to suggest that either the phone is capable of self-propelling with 3 Gs of acceleration, which doesn't seem particularly useful, or, perhaps more feasibly, that it has some way of increasing the data transfer rate over a 3G connection.

; Portable, solar-heated
: Portability is pretty much the entire point of using a ''mobile'' phone, so advertising portability is rather redundant. Solar ''power'' charging could be a very useful feature on a phone, but solar ''heating'' usually applies to plumbing, where a water tank is heated by the sun and used to supply hot water to taps. Technically, as the sun heats up everything it shines on, the phone is in fact solar heated. However, since avoiding overheating is a particular challenge in smartphone design, deliberately capturing solar energy simply in order to heat the device would seem rather counter-productive.

; Pore-cleaning strip
: Pore-cleaning strips are sticky strips designed to be applied to the skin and then pulled away to remove dirt and oils from the pores, with the intention of reducing spots and improving the complexion. The location shown for this feature would be inconvenient and irritating, as it would come into contact with the face every time the phone was held to the ear to make a call; something sticky on that location would be very annoying for clean-shaven people and extremely painful for anyone with facial hair. It would probably also result in that strip of the screen becoming obscured by an accumulation of facial gunk. Pore strips have been mentioned before in [[777: Pore Strips]].

: This may act as a sensor for the ''Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock'', whereby the phone would collect the dirt, oils, and microflora from the user's face when it is pressed against the phone, and use it to verify their identity.

; Maximum strength
: Medicines are often sold as "Maximum strength", usually indicating that they contain the highest dose of active ingredients allowed by law, or allowed without a prescription. For phones, there are sometimes "hardened" or "ruggedized" versions, which are designed to survive harsher environmental conditions, such as surviving drops and collisions, excessive water, dust, etc. ''Maximum strength'' here could indicate such a "ruggedized" phone, though this would be hard to achieve with a screen that extended past the edges.

; Never needs sharpening
: Phones do not need to be sharpened in the first place{{Citation needed}}. This is a feature more likely to be found in a knife advertisement -- the slogan is infamous for hawking knives that ''cannot'' easily be sharpened, like a serrated blade -- or a mechanical pencil. Since the screen goes past the edge, it might be sharp enough to cut through things, much like a knife, though the phone would be unsafe to carry and handle if that were the case{{Citation needed}}.

; Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
: This is a play on the common IP-rating of water resistance, which is typically rated for submersion to a rated depth for 30 minutes. A phone which could only be used or carried for 30 minutes before it needed to be immersed in water would be rather inconvenient, especially if it was still susceptible to short-circuiting, as most electronic devices are when submerged.

: Alternatively, either this phone's target market could be whales, dolphins, or other marine life, such as octopodes, or the feature could be optional. While such a feature would prove to be extremely useful for aquatic customers, the "solar-heated" feature would undoubtedly be inhibited significantly as water depths increased.

; Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight
: The {{w|National Audubon Society}} is a non-profit organization dedicated to the conservation of nature, and mainly of birds, which also organizes open {{w|birdwatching}} events. There are apps that attempt to identify bird species, for example, from a [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.labs.merlinbirdid.app&hl=en_GB photo] or [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.isoperla.birdsongid&hl=en_GB audio recording] of a bird made by the smartphone itself, though the Audubon Society's [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.audubon.mobile.android&hl=en_GB own app] does not offer anything this interactive. An app developed by Offingapp (company that took part in the development of technology) [http://offingapp.com/ app developers company] allowing you to control the bird's flight would be way cooler and might work using the built-in GPS transmitter, confusing their navigation systems. However birds do not use GPS to navigate{{Citation needed}}, and it would fly in the face of the Audubon Society's core activity. This is a reference to {{w|Unmanned_aerial_vehicle|drones}} (which could be thought of as artificial "birds") which are often controlled by a smartphone app. This may also be a reference to [[1425: Tasks]], in which an app that can recognize if a bird is on camera is proposed.

; Extra screen
:Some phones advertise an additional display or display mode, often giving access to basic information, such as battery level and notifications without needing to activate the main screen function. Typically, this would be a low-power mode of operation of the normal screen, or else a form of display on another surface of the phone, such as the side or rear. Here, it seems to be an oddly shaped rectangular extension on the bottom of the main screen. This may have been added to make up for the loss of screen estate due to the center camera.

; Wireless charging port
:A port for {{w|Inductive_charging|wireless charging}} is an oxymoron, since wireless charging has no wires and thus has no need for a port, unless it is required for fuel for a fuel cell (see clean coal, below). This may be a jab at Apple's removal of the headphone port from their previous phones.

; Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older
:Usually an item is deemed safe for a particular age or older, or (in the case of toys) is recommended for a particular age range. This is unusual in that it's a hodge-podge of age ranges with no apparent reason why some ages are safe and others are not. It may be a parody of drug commercials that list several age ranges for which the drug had to be separately approved.

; Screen goes past the edge
:A parody of the trend of "edge to edge" displays in recent generations of smartphones, or phones whose screens curve partway around the edge of the phone. In this case the screen is wide enough that it ''could'' curve partway around the edge, except the spillover does not actually form to the curves, resulting in a screen that is wider than the body of the phone. If the spillover is rigid, this would make the phone rather uncomfortable to hold, and the spillover is at risk of chipping off.

; High thread count CPU
:A {{w|Thread_(computing)|CPU thread}} is a task the CPU performs. Several threads may share memory, making them a process. Threads are meant to run in parallel and the operating system distributes the workload on the available hardware execution units. These execution units are sometimes called hardware threads, especially when there is more than one per processing unit (or core). For example, the Intel Core i7 7700 is considered a 4-core, 8-thread CPU. The vague "high thread count" statement could make sense in this context, however, it is most likely a joke about bedding, where it is an actual selling point; the thread count of a textile signifies the density of fibres in the material, and a high thread count is an indicator of a high quality fabric.

; Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock
:The {{w|Shroud of Turin}} contains an image of the body and face of a man, originally believed to be {{w|Jesus Christ}}, before the Shroud was found to be 1200 years too young. Some theories suggest the image was created by interaction with or transfer from the body that was wrapped in the shroud. Presumably, to unlock this phone, the user would have to physically {{w|facepalm|press their face}} against the phone, the way the Shroud-Man's image was allegedly transferred to the shroud. This is probably a reference to the iPhone X's FaceID unlock, which uses a ''photograph'' of your face, augmented with spatial information, to unlock itself, and which had attracted [https://www.wired.com/story/iphone-x-faceid-security/ significant criticism] immediately before this comic came out.

; Fonts developed by NASA
: This may be a reference to many advertisements that claim that their product uses technology developed by NASA in an attempt to make it seem more impressive. NASA technology does often tend to be quite strong and advanced, as they claim at their [https://spinoff.nasa.gov/ spin off] website. Between 1975 and 1992 NASA used the {{w|NASA insignia|"worm" logotype}} in its insignia; it was a special font that omitted the horizontal bar in the capitalized letter A. However, it would not be particularly impressive to use this, since fonts have very little to do with NASA's core operations{{Citation needed}}, and it potentially implies that it would not support many other common, and perhaps more readable, fonts.

: This may also be riffing on the {{w|Writing_in_space|urban legend}} that NASA invested vast amounts of research in developing a pen that could write in space, rather than just using a pencil.

; Includes applicator
: This is found on the packaging for many products, such as tampons, cosmetics, and paints. An applicator for a phone would be absurd, since the phone cannot be applied, spread, inserted, or attached to something else. However, this may be referring back to the aforementioned yearly vaccine.

; Burns clean coal
: Clean coal is coal that is burned so that it does not give off as much soot, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, mercury, or other pollutants as "normal" coal, or methods of burning coal that give off relatively less pollutants. This may be advertised by energy companies trying to appear to be using clean energy, due to pollution concerns. Coal burning power plants are usually quite large, so a traditional coal fired thermal-electric plant in a cell phone would be absurd. {{w|Fuel cell|fuel cells}}, which produce electricity by oxidizing some fuel, can be small enough to fit in a cell phone, but they do not typically burn coal. The cordless charging port might be a receptacle for refueling the phone, using liquid or a fuel cartridge.

; Pre-seasoned
:Pre-seasoned typically refers to cast iron cookware which is ready to use out of the box, as opposed to needing to season it with oil and heat. It can also refer to packaged meats which are ready to cook without needing to be seasoned with herbs and spices, or timber that has been dried and is ready for use. A more technical definition of 'seasoning' means operating devices, usually calibrated standards or battery cells, for a while in the factory, to make sure the device meets constant performance requirements without deviating or diminshing too much. In this sense it could apply to the battery of the phone.

; Broad-spectrum SPF 30
:The xkcd phone somehow gives a {{w|sunscreen|sun protection factor}} (SPF) 30 level of protection from sunlight, meaning that it blocks all but 1/30 of skin-burning UVB radiation from sunlight, though it is not clear whether it is the user or the phone itself which is protected. Phones do not typically require protection from sunlight{{Citation needed}}. On the other hand, if, when placed between the user and the sun, the phone allows >3% of the radiation through, this would be remarkably more translucent, and therefore less effective, than most phones (which allow much less than 1% of UVB, or any other visible or near-visible wavelength, through). It would also be an inefficient method of protection, since it would only be able to protect a relatively small patch of skin.

; College-ruled
:College-ruled is a style of notebook paper having narrower than normal lines, in order to fit more text per page. That the phone is college-ruled suggests that there are lines permanently displayed on the screen, which could obscure any images on the screen, and make any text that doesn't line up with the lines hard to read. Defective screens can show similar patterns; for example, the iPhone 6 "touch disease" causes regularly spaced vertical lines to appear on top of the screen. Here, it is possible that the manufacturer is trying to pass off screen defects as features.

; Sterile packaging
:Useful for medical supplies, less so in a phone. There are numerous studies and resulting 'news' articles looking at the number of bacteria, fecal samples, and so forth, that can be found on the typical phone, typically with a sensationalist take on how you will be 'shocked' to discover this. However, sterile packaging would do little to counter this, since most of this contamination is accumulated after the user removes the phone from the packaging and begins using it.

; Radium backlight
:The discovery of the radioactive element radium sparked a brief fad in which manufacturers of consumer products began coating them with a paint containing radium and a radioluminescent substance, such as zinc sulfide, which converted the radiation from the radium into visible light. In particular, some clock and watch makers painted the faces or hands of their timepieces, allowing the time to be read at night without an external power source for the light. However, it was eventually realized that regular exposure to radium could result in radiation poisoning, particularly for the workers assembling and painting the products. A radium-based backlight would therefore be both potentially dangerous (especially for an object carried on one's person much of the time) but also largely useless, as the radioluminescent light is rather dim compared to conventional phone back lights.

; 4K pixels (50×80)
:"4K" typically denotes a screen with a width of ~4000 pixels, such as 4K TVs, which have 3840×2160 pixels, or about 6.1 million pixels total. That would be an outstanding resolution for a cell phone. Here, however, the "fine print" in parentheses clarifies that 4000 is actually the total number of pixels, not the width, which would be remarkably low resolution for a smart phone. As a comparison, the old Commodore VIC-20, with a resolution of 176 × 184, would have over 8 times the pixels of this phone. It is more comparable to the screen resolution of the sturdy Nokia 3310, which boasted a total of 4032 pixels, positioned 84 × 48.

===Version===
In the caption below the phone [[Randall]] presents many different version numbers:
*The number 6 is in correct order of all the xkcd phones
*The {{w|Roman numerals|Roman numeral}} VIII refers to the newly announced {{w|iPhone 8}} and jokes about the Roman numeral X below
*Version number 10 is the current version of Microsoft Windows
*The {{w|iPhone X}} was announced together with the iPhone 8 by Apple on September 12, 2017, a day before this comic was released. Apple clarified that X is meant to be read as the Roman numeral for 10, so for additional absurdity two xkcd phones share the same number, using different numerals
*The number 26 refers to the number of letters in the English alphabet
*In the year 1876 {{w|Alexander Graham Bell}} received the U.S. Patent No. 174465 for the {{w|invention of the telephone}}, but there is still a {{w|Elisha Gray and Alexander Bell telephone controversy|controversy}} whether {{w|Elisha Gray}} was the first to present a working telephone.

The "nonconsecutive version number war" referenced below the version names refers to several recent phones, and possibly operating systems, released consecutively with nonconsecutive version numbers, including:
*The iPhone X (or Ten) which will be released shortly after the iPhone 8
*The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 was released after the Note 5
*The Oneplus 5 was released after the OnePlus 3T
*The ZTE Axon 7 was released after the original Axon, skipping numbers 2-6.
*Microsoft Windows 10 was released after Microsoft Windows 8, officially skipping Microsoft Windows 9
Randall's ludicrous naming scheme aims to 'defeat' all of these by eclipsing them. By counting parallel version numbers xkcd defeated Apple 6:2.

The symbols at the end are ™ for trademark, ® for registered trademark, and © for a copyright protection. The degree symbol ° after the letter C could be a play with degree Celsius. The use of all four symbols after the phrase is ridiculous, as ™ and ® indicate trademarks with opposite registration statuses, slogans can't be copyrighted, and the degree symbol usually has no meaning when applied to text.

In the title text Randall recognises privacy concerns about the facial recognition feature. A picture of a face will only be used for facial recognition, but never stored on the device nor transmitted to the internet. A ''small'' side effect may be that the famous selfie pictures aren't possible anymore, as well as video calls. Ironic, considering that the reason the camera is in the middle is to allow easier video calls.

==Transcript==
:[A smartphone is shown, the screen is slightly wider than the case, in the middle is a photo lens, and at the right bottom a small extra part is added to the screen.]
:[On top a bracket ranges nearly over the entire width of the case. The text reads:]
:Full-width rear camera
:[The label at the photo lens is:]
:Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)
:[The label on the extra part says:]
:Extra screen
:[At the bottom below the case a label reads:]
:Wireless charging port

:[The labels left to the phone are:]
:4k pixels (50x80)
:Radium backlight
:Sterile packaging
:College-ruled
:Broad spectrum SPF 30
:Pre-seasoned
:Burns clean coal
:Includes applicator
:Fonts developed by NASA
:Shroud of turn-style facial transfer unlock
:High thread count CPU
:Screen goes past the edge
:Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older

:[The labels right to the phone are:]
:CDC partnership: Phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
:12-function
:Dishwasher safe
:GPS transmitter
:3-G acceleration
:Portable, solar-heated
:Pore-cleaning strip
:Maximum strength
:Never needs sharpening
:Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
:Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight

:[Text below the phone:]
:Introducing
:'''The xkcd Phone 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876'''
:''We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.''™®©°

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]

Talk:2319: Large Number Formats

2020-06-12T22:47:57Z

172.69.33.207: Explanation

== Scientist avoiding rounding ==

Would love an explanation of the scientist avoiding rounding one. Would make sense to me with 2.525997..., but as 2.5997... I'm at a loss!

(The above was posted (anonymously?) seconds before I could get mine in, so here it is in the original format.)

This is probably completely irrelevant but it seems Randall made a small typo when trying to show a "Scientest trying to avoid rounding up."
I assume it should be 2.525997*10^13. It seems he left out a 5 and a 2 and I say such because whether he forgot the 52 or 25 is up for debate.

Relevant screenshot: [[https://i.imgur.com/NrvOivy.png]]

Also, if I'm just being completely daft and am missing something completely, please feel free to criticize me harshly and I'll go back to my little hideyhole. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.24|108.162.237.24]] 22:21, 12 June 2020 (UTC)

In reality, a scientist would probably say 6.416*10^13 cm. (Although possible counterpoint, this comic is really about the ''number'' 25,259,974,097,204, not the distance 25,259,974,097,204 inches.) [[Special:Contributions/172.69.33.207|172.69.33.207]] 22:47, 12 June 2020 (UTC)