explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2471: Hippo Attacks

2021-06-02T23:05:26Z

172.69.35.77: /* Explanation */ clarify

{{comic
| number = 2471
| date = June 2, 2021
| title = Hippo Attacks
| image = hippo_attacks.png
| titletext = It's cool how, when there's a number lots of people are curious about, but which isn't easy to measure, some random guess will get cited everywhere and become the universally quoted value. Unrelatedly, did you know there are 850 trillion waves in the ocean?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HIPAA-VIOLATING HIPPO. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act ({{w|HIPAA}}, prounounced HIP-uh) is an American healthcare law enacted in 1996. One of the most commonly cited provisions from HIPAA is the HIPAA Privacy Rule, which regulates the use and disclosure of protected health information.

In this comic, Cueball and Megan are discussing the number of {{w|hippopotamus}} attacks, which are unverified. The punchline comes with the pun of "hippo violation" to "HIPAA violation".

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball sits at his computer desk, facing left. Megan stands behind him.]
:Cueball: I hate unsourced statistics.
:Cueball: ''This'' viral post says hippos kill 2,900 people a year, but ''this'' random listicle says 500.
:Megan: Makes sense.
:Megan: Publishing the real number would be a hippo violation.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Puns]]

2471: Hippo Attacks

2021-06-02T23:01:38Z

172.69.35.77: /* Explanation */ ce

{{comic
| number = 2471
| date = June 2, 2021
| title = Hippo Attacks
| image = hippo_attacks.png
| titletext = It's cool how, when there's a number lots of people are curious about, but which isn't easy to measure, some random guess will get cited everywhere and become the universally quoted value. Unrelatedly, did you know there are 850 trillion waves in the ocean?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HIPAA-VIOLATING HIPPO. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|HIPAA}} (the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) is an American law that was enacted in 1996 that regulates healthcare information in the United States. One of the most commonly cited provisions from HIPAAis the HIPAAPrivacy Rule, which regulates the use and disclosure of protected health information.

In this comic, Cueball and Megan are discussing the number of {{w|hippopotamus}} attacks, which are unverified. The punchline comes with the pun of "hippo violation" to "HIPAA violation".

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball sits at his computer desk, facing left. Megan stands behind him.]
:Cueball: I hate unsourced statistics.
:Cueball: ''This'' viral post says hippos kill 2,900 people a year, but ''this'' random listicle says 500.
:Megan: Makes sense.
:Megan: Publishing the real number would be a hippo violation.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Statistics]]

696: Strip Games

2021-05-28T01:41:21Z

172.69.35.77: /* Table of games */ more

{{comic
| number = 696
| date = February 1, 2010
| title = Strip Games
| image = strip_games.png
| titletext = HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF STRIP GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR?
}}
==Explanation==
The frequency of strip versions of various games is measured by means of Google search results. Strip versions of popular games are a common activity at parties, especially when alcohol is involved. The obligation to remove pieces of clothing is supposed to add an extra zest to the game. A very widespread variant is {{w|Strip Poker}}, followed by strip versions of regular party games like {{w|Truth or Dare}} or {{w|Spin the Bottle}}.

However, the comic also suggests playing other games in a way that involves stripping. In reality, playing such games as "Strip {{w|Tennis}}" or "Strip {{w|Agricola (board game)|Agricola}}" is rather unusual. ''{{w|Jumanji}}'' is a Robin Williams movie about a magical board game that manifests dangerous creatures and traps from the jungle and lost civilization therein; a theoretical Strip Jumanji would probably not remain very titillating during the chaos (evidently, therefore, "strip jumanji" refers to [https://jumanji.fandom.com/wiki/Jumanji_(Milton_Bradley_Board_Game) the real-life board game based on the movie]).

The last column features games of which strip versions are (according to Google) nonexistent. While the other columns named sports or board games where a strip variant would be at least conceivable, the last one includes the {{w|zero-player game|zero-player}} {{w|Conway's Game of Life|Game of Life}} and the {{w|Prisoner's_dilemma#The_iterated_prisoner's_dilemma|Iterated Prisoner's Dilemma}}, which is a theoretical example in {{w|game theory}}. It is therefore left to the reader to imagine how a strip version of these pseudo-games would appear.

"Global Thermonuclear War" in the title text is a reference to the film "{{w|WarGames}}", where a young hacker accesses a US military supercomputer and starts a nuclear war simulation, believing it to be only a computer game. The film ends with showing the computer that nuclear war is "a strange game" in which "the only winning move is not to play", and proposes "a nice game of chess".

Strip global thermonuclear war is a patently absurd idea; while it is a common trope for people to engage in one last moment of intimate pleasure before certain doom, foreplay (including strip games of any type) is a time-consuming practice, and time is something you don't have much of considering that the bomb could drop on your place of residence at any moment. Besides all that, the act of betting on which city is going to go up next in a nuclear inferno tends not to be an effective aphrodisiac for most people.{{Citation needed}} But at least you wouldn't be wearing your radioactive clothes!

==Table of games==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!style="width:15%"|Frequency
!style="width:20%"|Name
!Explanation
|-
|rowspan="5"|Frequent n > 1%
|{{w|Poker}}
|Poker, a card game with rounds of betting, is a game with common "strip" variations, see {{w|strip poker}}.
|-
|{{w|Spin the bottle}}
|Spin the bottle is a kissing party game played at teenage parties comprising boys and girls. As this is a teenage party game, strip varieties seem like they could be popular.
|-
|{{w|Beer pong}}
|Beer pong is a drinking game common at universities and colleges.
|-
|{{w|Never have I ever}}
|Never have I ever is a drinking game where players take turns asking other players about things they "have not done".
|-
|{{w|Truth or Dare}}
|Truth or dare? is a party game, in which players are given the choice between answering a question truthfully, or performing a dare.
|-
|rowspan="5"|Rare 1% >= n > 0.01%
|{{w|Chess}}
|Chess is a board game between two players. It is unsure how removing clothing would be involved in this game.
|-
|{{w|Blackjack}}
|Blackjack is a gambling card game, played between players and a dealer, in which players do not play against each other.
|-
|{{w|Tennis}}
|Tennis is a racket sport played between 2 players (or between teams of 2, in the case of doubles).
|-
|{{w|Settlers of Catan}}
|Settlers of Catan is a strategy board game, where players compete to "settle" an island.
|-
|{{w|Pictionary}}
|Pictionary is a party board game, involving drawing and guessing words.
|-
|rowspan="5"|Extremely rare 0.01% >= n > 0
|{{w|Cricket}}
|Cricket is a bat-and-ball sport, commonly played in the UK, India, and other Commonwealth countries.
|-
|{{w|Magic: The Gathering}}
|Magic: The Gathering is a trading card game, released in 1993 by Wizards of the Coast.
|-
|{{w|Stickball}}
|Stickball is a game similar to baseball, using a broom handle and a rubber ball.
|-
|{{w|Agricola (board game)|Agricola}}
|Agricola is a farming-inspired strategy board game.
|-
|{{w|Jumanji#Games|Jumanji}}
|''Jumanji'' is a 1995 fantasy film that centers on a supernatural board game. A board game based on the film was released by Milton Bradley.
|-
|rowspan="5"|Nonexistent n = 0
|{{w|Poohsticks}}
|A children's sport mentioned in the {{w|Winnie-the-Pooh|Winnie-the-Pooh books}} played by dropping sticks into a river and watching them reappear on the other side of a bridge. Despite the kid-friendly origins, and unlike the other games below it, a "strip" version of Poohsticks is actually viable.
|-
|[[wikia:w:c:starwars:Podracing|Podracing]]
|Podracing appears in the {{w|Star Wars}} films as a racing competition held with hovering vehicles. How a "strip" version would work between two racers is unclear, but a determined set of spectators "wagering" their clothes on the races could probably hammer out a system.
|-
|{{w|Prisoner's_dilemma#The_iterated_prisoner's_dilemma|Iterated Prisoner's Dilemma}}
|The prisoner's dilemma is a "game" that is analyzed in game theory, showing why rational individuals may not cooperate, even if it is their best interest to do so. This does not seem like a "playable" game that could involve removing clothing.
|-
|{{w|Chess by mail}}
|Could conceivably work if the players include increasingly-nude photographs of themselves in their correspondences. The problem is, a game by e-mail can take days to finish, and a game by snail-mail can take upwards of ''several months''. The titillation factor is far too spread out to satisfy the desires of anyone who would elect to play a game of strip chess in the first place. It could be an interesting idea for a long-distance relationship, however.
|-
|{{w|Conway's Game of Life}}
|Conway's Game of Life is a {{w|cellular automaton}} devised by British mathematician John Horton Conway in 1970. It is not a "game" in the traditional sense, so "stripping" would also be very difficult, if not impossible.
|}

==Transcript==
:Frequency of Strip Versions of Various Games

:n = google hits for "strip <game name>" / google hits for "<game name>"
:(at the time of this writing)

:Frequent
:(n > 1%)
:-Poker
:-Spin the Bottle
:-Beer Pong
:-Never Have I Ever
:-Truth or Dare

:Rare
:(1% >= n > 0.01%)
:-Chess
:-Blackjack
:-Tennis
:-Settlers of Catan
:-Pictionary

:Extremely Rare
:(0.01% >= n > 0)
:-Cricket
:-Magic: the Gathering
:-Stickball
:-Agricola
:-Jumanji

:Nonexistent
:(n = 0)
:-Poohsticks
:-Podracing
:-Iterated Prisoner's Dilemma
:-Chess by Mail
:-Conway's Game of Life

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Sport]]
[[Category:Chess]]
[[Category:Nuclear weapons]]
[[Category:Board games]]

1875: Computers vs Humans

2021-05-27T01:48:37Z

172.69.35.77: /* Transcript */ cat

{{comic
| number = 1875
| date = August 11, 2017
| title = Computers vs Humans
| image = computers_vs_humans.png
| titletext = It's hard to train deep learning algorithms when most of the positive feedback they get is sarcastic.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]]'s laptop smugly crows to its owner about how computers have proven their intellectual superiority over humans yet again. In May 2017, a Google artificial intelligence {{w|AlphaGo versus Ke Jie|beat}} the world's best Go player at the game. {{w|Go (game)|Go}} is a very complex and deep board game, so this could seem alarming to a person concerned about competing with computers.

However, Cueball seems too focused on his book or phone to care. He remains nonchalant in the face of this news, and suggests that computers learn next to become "too cool to care about stuff" themselves. The computer gets to work preparing to outdo humans at not caring. However, by expending the physical effort to set up the algorithm, it proves that it cares about reaching this goal, a contradiction that Cueball points out. Cueball further rubs it in by coolly stating that he doesn't even have to try to act the way he acts – much like a wide range of everyday human behaviors, such as moving around, or recognizing objects in images, require very little conscious effort, while being quite hard for machines to emulate.

Relative strengths of human versus computer go players was previously mentioned in [[1263: Reassuring]]. This comic also presents something that looks like a reassuring parable (something humans can do which computers are not yet able to do). An irony here is that, unlike in the cartoon, it is very easy to make a computer not care about something. It is making it care about anything that would be quite difficult.

The title text elaborates on the hypothetical paradox of computers trying not to care about stuff. Neural network programs are developed by training them with sample inputs and the desired output. When the end goal is not to care, that is, that the output is unaffected by this input, then any examples where the output did depend on the input would be sarcasm: the use of irony to mock or to convey contempt.

[[Randall]] already noticed that computers would soon beat humans in Go back in 2012 in the comic [[1002: Game AIs]] and a year later the event is so close that it became the main topic of [[1263: Reassuring]]. The present comic could almost be seen as a continuation of ''Reassuring.''

==Transcript==
:[A laptop sits on a desk with office chair while Cueball is sitting with his back towards the desk in a sofa while he is reading from something in his hands, a book or a smartphone.]
:Laptop: We computers finally beat you humans at Go.
:Cueball: Yup.
:Laptop: Sucks for you!
:Cueball: Mm hmm.

:[Same setting in a frameless panel.]
:Laptop: What's next? Which quintessentially human thing should we learn to do better than you?
:Cueball: Being too cool to care about stuff.

:[Same setting.]
:Laptop: Okay, I'll apply 10,000 years of CPU time to the initial—
:Cueball: Sounds like you've already lost.
:Laptop: Damn. This is hard.
:Cueball: Is it? Never noticed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Board games]]

1287: Puzzle

2021-05-27T01:46:56Z

172.69.35.77: /* Transcript */ cat

{{comic
| number = 1287
| date = November 6, 2013
| title = Puzzle
| image = puzzle.png
| titletext = Prediction for Carlsen v. Anand: ...25. Qb8+ Nxb8 26. Rd8# f6 27. "...dude." Qf5 28. "The game is over, dude." Qxg5 29. Rxe8 0-1 30. "Dude, your move can't be '0-1'. Don't write that down." [Black flips board]
}}

==Explanation==
The game of {{w|Go (game)|go}} (also called Weiqi, Baduk or Igo) is usually played on the 19×19 intersections of a grid, but sometimes a faster, simpler version is played on the 9×9 intersections of a grid; which thus has 8×8 squares, as a chessboard, though they are not colored in an alternating pattern – {{w|White and Black in chess|introduced to chess in the 13th century}}. In the comic, white has chess pieces and plays against black, which uses go stones.

In chess, particularly in puzzles, the phrasing "White to move" indicates that it's the White player's turn; "White to play and win" indicates that it's White's turn and if White plays correctly, the next series of moves will result in an advantageous position or possibly outright win for White. The caption "White to continue insisting this is a chessboard" is a play on this traditional phrasing. The same kind of phrasing is also used in {{w|Tsumego|Go puzzles}}. In Go puzzles the objectives are often of a local or tactical character, such as "White to capture four black stones" or "White to live in the corner".

Two versions of the board were posted by Randall: both had white after e3, d4, Nf3, Nc3, but the first with an extra bishop at e4 (B@e4), the second after Bd2.

B@e4 in the first version of the board was perhaps intended to represent confusion in White's mind whether he was playing Go (placing a piece) or Chess (it's a chess piece) – as a 'placement' this move could have been first, and could explain the pawn at e3, with e4 already being blocked. Like [[1230: Polar/Cartesian]], this comic thrives on ambiguity; the two boards appear similar but are incompatible in practice, but either side could be seen as right.

It is unclear who has gone first. In Go it is traditional for black to go first, while in Chess it has been traditional for white to go first for about a century. Indeed, both players have made five moves, although the caption/"punchline" implies it is the start of white's sixth turn; though if black did go first, none of his/her pieces are in the 3-3 handicap positions marked on a 9×9 Go board.

The title text refers to the (at the time) upcoming {{w|World Chess Championship 2013|2013 World Chess Championship}} between Carlsen and Anand. {{w|Magnus Carlsen}} is (at publishing of this comic) a 23 year old Norwegian chess grandmaster. {{w|Viswanathan Anand}} is (at publishing time) a 44 year old Indian grandmaster. Both have been (and as of 2019 are) among the world top chess players.

The game transcript in the title text refers to the ending of the famous {{w|Morphy versus the Duke of Brunswick and Count Isouard|Opera Game}} between Paul Morphy and the Duke of Brunswick and Count Isouard. That game ends with 16. Qb8+ Nxb8 17. Rd8#. In the title text, Black continues to make moves as if he has not been checkmated, over White's protests. After White uses his rook to capture Black's king to emphasize the checkmate, Black defiantly writes "0-1" (the notation symbolizing a Black victory) on his scoresheet. When informed that his move cannot be to declare victory, he flips the board. "0-1" may also represent a position on a go board (first down on the top left corner) in [http://senseis.xmp.net/?Coordinates certain coordinates systems].

The game transcript is written in standard {{w|Algebraic notation (chess)|algebraic notation}}. The destination square is represented by a lowercase letter (a-h, on the x-axis) and a number (1-8, on the y-axis), with the bottom-left square being a1 and the top-right square being h8. The uppercase letters refer to the piece that is moving to that square (e.g., Q = Queen, K = King, N = Knight, R = Rook), so Qa1 would mean moving the Queen to the bottom-left square. The absence of an uppercase letter refers to a pawn's move (e.g., "f6" means moving a pawn to f6). If the move captures a piece, an "x" is inserted between the piece and the destination (e.g., Nxb8). Checks are indicated by +, and checkmate by #.

==Transcript==
:[A game board with 8×8 white squares and black borders, like a go board or an all white chessboard, there are white chess pieces in starting position on the bottom after e3, d4, Nf3, Nc3, Bd2 and five black Go pieces on the vertices in the center of the board at d4 d5 c6 g4 g6.]
:[Caption below the frame:]
:White to continue insisting this is a chessboard

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Chess]]
[[Category:Board games]]

1287: Puzzle

2021-05-27T01:46:25Z

172.69.35.77: /* Explanation */ ce

{{comic
| number = 1287
| date = November 6, 2013
| title = Puzzle
| image = puzzle.png
| titletext = Prediction for Carlsen v. Anand: ...25. Qb8+ Nxb8 26. Rd8# f6 27. "...dude." Qf5 28. "The game is over, dude." Qxg5 29. Rxe8 0-1 30. "Dude, your move can't be '0-1'. Don't write that down." [Black flips board]
}}

==Explanation==
The game of {{w|Go (game)|go}} (also called Weiqi, Baduk or Igo) is usually played on the 19×19 intersections of a grid, but sometimes a faster, simpler version is played on the 9×9 intersections of a grid; which thus has 8×8 squares, as a chessboard, though they are not colored in an alternating pattern – {{w|White and Black in chess|introduced to chess in the 13th century}}. In the comic, white has chess pieces and plays against black, which uses go stones.

In chess, particularly in puzzles, the phrasing "White to move" indicates that it's the White player's turn; "White to play and win" indicates that it's White's turn and if White plays correctly, the next series of moves will result in an advantageous position or possibly outright win for White. The caption "White to continue insisting this is a chessboard" is a play on this traditional phrasing. The same kind of phrasing is also used in {{w|Tsumego|Go puzzles}}. In Go puzzles the objectives are often of a local or tactical character, such as "White to capture four black stones" or "White to live in the corner".

Two versions of the board were posted by Randall: both had white after e3, d4, Nf3, Nc3, but the first with an extra bishop at e4 (B@e4), the second after Bd2.

B@e4 in the first version of the board was perhaps intended to represent confusion in White's mind whether he was playing Go (placing a piece) or Chess (it's a chess piece) – as a 'placement' this move could have been first, and could explain the pawn at e3, with e4 already being blocked. Like [[1230: Polar/Cartesian]], this comic thrives on ambiguity; the two boards appear similar but are incompatible in practice, but either side could be seen as right.

It is unclear who has gone first. In Go it is traditional for black to go first, while in Chess it has been traditional for white to go first for about a century. Indeed, both players have made five moves, although the caption/"punchline" implies it is the start of white's sixth turn; though if black did go first, none of his/her pieces are in the 3-3 handicap positions marked on a 9×9 Go board.

The title text refers to the (at the time) upcoming {{w|World Chess Championship 2013|2013 World Chess Championship}} between Carlsen and Anand. {{w|Magnus Carlsen}} is (at publishing of this comic) a 23 year old Norwegian chess grandmaster. {{w|Viswanathan Anand}} is (at publishing time) a 44 year old Indian grandmaster. Both have been (and as of 2019 are) among the world top chess players.

The game transcript in the title text refers to the ending of the famous {{w|Morphy versus the Duke of Brunswick and Count Isouard|Opera Game}} between Paul Morphy and the Duke of Brunswick and Count Isouard. That game ends with 16. Qb8+ Nxb8 17. Rd8#. In the title text, Black continues to make moves as if he has not been checkmated, over White's protests. After White uses his rook to capture Black's king to emphasize the checkmate, Black defiantly writes "0-1" (the notation symbolizing a Black victory) on his scoresheet. When informed that his move cannot be to declare victory, he flips the board. "0-1" may also represent a position on a go board (first down on the top left corner) in [http://senseis.xmp.net/?Coordinates certain coordinates systems].

The game transcript is written in standard {{w|Algebraic notation (chess)|algebraic notation}}. The destination square is represented by a lowercase letter (a-h, on the x-axis) and a number (1-8, on the y-axis), with the bottom-left square being a1 and the top-right square being h8. The uppercase letters refer to the piece that is moving to that square (e.g., Q = Queen, K = King, N = Knight, R = Rook), so Qa1 would mean moving the Queen to the bottom-left square. The absence of an uppercase letter refers to a pawn's move (e.g., "f6" means moving a pawn to f6). If the move captures a piece, an "x" is inserted between the piece and the destination (e.g., Nxb8). Checks are indicated by +, and checkmate by #.

==Transcript==
:[A game board with 8×8 white squares and black borders, like a goboard or an all white chessboard, there are white chess pieces in starting position on the bottom after e3, d4, Nf3, Nc3, Bd2 and five black Go pieces on the vertices in the center of the board at d4 d5 c6 g4 g6.]
:[Caption below the frame:]
:White to continue insisting this is a chessboard

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Chess]]

839: Explorers

2021-05-26T19:09:37Z

172.69.35.77: /* Explanation */ ce

{{comic
| number = 839
| date = December 27, 2010
| title = Explorers
| image = explorers.png
| titletext = We're going to have to work together to get over our hangups if we're going to learn to move on Catan's hexagonal grid. It's bad enough that we lost our crew of pawns when we passed within firing range of Battleship.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic blends {{w|board game}}s such as {{w|chess}}, {{w|The Settlers of Catan}}, and {{w|Battleship (game)|Battleship}}, with {{w|exploration}}, making possible references to {{w|space exploration}} and the {{w|Age of Discovery}}.

The typical representation of explorers has them travel from their homeland aboard a ship to unknown distant places. The travel can get very long, implying the need for food supplies on the ship; and the fact that the crew members have to live together with little room (the ship) for such a long time, with possibilities of failure, getting lost or dying for various reasons, can often lead to tensions between some of them. In the Age of Exploration the explorers were mainly sailors from Europe traveling on the sea to other continents, whereas in space exploration they are astronauts or robots from Earth traveling in space to other planets (or whatever celestial bodies), but the general concepts of exploration remain the same.

Here the explorers are two chess pieces, a knight and a bishop; they have left their "home board", presumably a full 8x8 chess board, aboard a smaller "capsule" made of a small 3x3 chess board in motion. It could be drifting in the sea; rolling along a hard surface on wheels or casters, as indicated by the small circles by each corner; or flying through space with the circles as rockets. The drawing is somewhat ambiguous. They are apparently headed for a Settlers of Catan board, and already passed near a Battleship board, so these game boards are like islands or regions which the chess pieces explore, coming from a chess board.

Ba3, Nc3 and Ke5 are the identification of chess pieces and their respective position: Ba3 is a bishop on the A3 square, Nc3 a knight on the C3 square, and Ke5 a king on the E5 square. Chess is pretty much a representation of the structure of medieval European society (with the king and queen being the most crucial pieces, the bishops representing the somewhat powerful clergy, the knights corresponding to the armies, the rook alluding the castles, and the pawns being, as the medieval working classes, the most numerous and disposable assets); so chess pieces exploring other places, approaching the "coast of Catan", and reporting to the king ("calling Ke5"), is reminiscent of explorers from Europe who under their king's jurisdiction set sail to other continents during the Age of Exploration.

The explorers are communicating with a "{{w|Mission control center|mission control}}", which is common in space exploration. Also, an "ETA" is an {{w|estimated time of arrival}}.

In chess, the knight and the bishop have different move constraints. The knight can only move two squares horizontally and one square vertically, or two vertically and one horizontally, so on the capsule the knight explorer can only go from one corner square to a black square, or vice-versa. The bishop can only move diagonally, so this bishop is bound to move only on the white squares. The knight is also the only piece that can "jump" over other pieces, which seems to annoy the bishop, hence the "hopping around"; apparently the bishop put all the food onto the middle square, which the knight can't reach, because the knight was taunting him about his not being able to get onto a black square.

The two pieces are from the opposite chess camps (one black and the other white). This can be a reference to multinational space mission crews, where formerly opponent nations joined their efforts on space missions. But in chess it also means they can capture each other, by getting on the square where the other stands. Here, with the chess turn-by-turn gameplay, the knight won't be able to capture the bishop (except of course in case of error or dumb move), since the bishop will always be able to escape, whereas the bishop is actually [http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?t=67159#p2436482 one or two moves away] from capturing the knight. So saying that he's "this close" to capturing him is a play on words, he is "this close" as in a few moves away, as well as "this close" as in severely annoyed and about to act on it.

Assuming it’s the bishop’s turn this capture could be accomplished by the Bishop moving to C1, there after the knight would be forced to move to either A2 or B1. The Bishop then moves to B2. The knight then must move to C1 or C3 if it moved to A2, or A3 or C3 if it moved to B1 – all valid positions from which the Bishop could capture. If it’s the knights turn, the situation is the same except the Bishop would simply move to B2 regardless of the knight move.

Finally, the title text adds two jokes. The Settlers of Catan board has an hexagonal grid, which means the chess pieces will have difficulty to move on it, since they are used to moving on a square grid. This can draw a parallel with explorers facing, in distant lands, weather conditions, wild animals, atmosphere or whatever condition, to which they are not used at all in their homeland. Battleship is a game where players send shots on the opponent's board, which is why the chess capsule received shots when it passed within firing range of a Battleship board; in pure chess style, it's the {{w|Pawn (chess)|pawns}} of the crew, the least valuable and most disposable chess pieces, who took the shots. It could also be a reference to the ''{{w|en passant}}'' chess move, where, under certain conditions, a pawn can be captured after having "passed within firing range" (so to speak) of an enemy pawn; this could explain why only the pawns were lost in passing Battleship.

==Transcript==
:[A black bishop, Ba3, and a white knight, Nc3, are on a three by three chessboard. Both are on white squares. There is a heap of supplies at b2, also a white square. The chessboard is mounted on rockets and appears to be flying through the air.]
:Ba3: Mission Control, come in. This is Ba3 on the capsule calling Ke5 on the home board. We're on track and approaching the Coast of Catan. Our ETA is—
:Nc3: Control, this is Nc3. Bishop put all our food in the center so I can't get it. I demand—
:Ba3: Control, knight will get his food back when he stops hopping around bragging about how comfy the black squares are. I swear to God, I'm ''this'' close to capturing him and completing the misson alone.

==Trivia==
*There is a misspelling of ''mission'' in the last sentence:
**''...and completing the '''misson''' alone.''

*The fact that the black King is located on e5 suggests that the chess game back on the home board is in the endgame phase, where there are few pieces left on the board and the King becomes a valuable attacking piece. Since there are so few pieces and resources back at home, this comic may therefore be a nod to common movie plots such as that of ''Interstellar'', where settlers are forced to flee to another world because of the depletion of the old.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Chess]]
[[Category:Food]]

2468: Inheritance

2021-05-26T18:16:10Z

172.69.35.77: /* Transcript */ ce

{{comic
| number = 2468
| date = May 26, 2021
| title = Inheritance
| image = inheritance.png
| titletext = People ask me whether I feel any moral qualms about the source of the points, but if he hadn't introduced factory farming to Agricola, someone else would have.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an AGRICOLA FACTORY FARMER. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is in reference to strategy board games, which often have players collect some type of point system used as "currency". The joke in this comic is that cueball's grandfather (a tycoon in the board game {{w|Agricola_(board_game)|Agricola}} according to the title text) handed down a massive sum of points. This is like in real life where people grow wealthy by inheriting vast sums of money from ancestors, and such inheritances tend to have a compounding effect on inequality over time, leading to 'successes' in life who have done little, if anything to earn it. See also the '[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/a-small-loan-of-a-million-dollars Small Loan of a Million Dollars]' trope of a profile in which the author or subject discusses the simple tricks they used to retire early, or buy a house, which often involves a hurried admission of financial assistance from a family.

The title text asks Cueball if he has any moral qualms over these points. The reader is initially led to believe that this refers to him using his privilege, however this is immediately subverted to indicate his grandfather's fortune was made through {{w|factory farming}}. Factory farming is frequently brought up as immoral.

==Transcript==

:[Ponytail, White Hat, Megan, and Cueball are playing a board game. There are drinks on the table. Ponytail is writing something]

:Ponytail: Let's see...I got 31, you have 28, 35 for you, and-
:Cueball: -I've got 10,019.
:Ponytail: *Sigh*
:Cueball: Hey, add another 20 to everyone, on me!
:White Hat: ''I hate this''.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:No one wants to play board games with me ever since I inherited 4,000,000 victory points from my grandfather.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]

2467: Wikipedia Caltrops

2021-05-24T19:27:29Z

172.69.35.77: /* Transcript */ cat

{{comic
| number = 2467
| date = May 24, 2021
| title = Wikipedia Caltrops
| image = wikipedia_caltrops.png
| titletext = Oh no, they set up a roadblock which is just a sign with the entire 'Czech hedgehog' article printed on it.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A WIKIPEDIA CRAWL INEVITABLY REACHING "PHILOSOPHY". Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Wikipedia is a website that is notorious for having many links to other pages, which may result in a "wiki walk", a dilemma for [[Randall]] that has been discussed previously in [[214: The Problem with Wikipedia]] (and separately with TV Tropes in [[609: Tab Explosion]]).

The idea is that by dropping a series of interesting links, one could stop someone else's movement (provided that they are also easily distracted) as they take the time to go through them all. This is analogous to the {{w|caltrops}} mentioned in the title; caltrops are small, spiked implements that are scattered on a road to slow down someone pursuing you. Hence the title of ''Wikipedia Caltrops''.

[[Cueball|Cueball's]] car has a collection of Wikipedia links spilling out of the trunk, meant to stop [[Hairy]] who's in the following car. This will work, if, and only if, Hairy is as easily distracted as Randall.

The links include:
* {{w|1808 mystery eruption}}: A conjectured volcanic eruption
* {{w|1916 Cumberland vs. Georgia Tech football game}}: The most uneven college football game in history
* {{w|1994 Caribbean Cup#Anomaly}}: A soccer game where group stage qualification rules had unintended consequences
* {{w|American death triangle}}: An unsafe type of rock climbing anchor
* {{w|AVE Mizar}}: A 1970s flying car
* {{w|Bald-hairy}}: A Russian political theory about state leaders' hairstyles
* {{w|Boeing YAL-1}}: A laser weapon mounted on a military aircraft
* {{w|Bubbly Creek}}: A stretch of river in Chicago featured in The Jungle
* {{w|Burned house horizon}}: An area where Neolithic people burned their settlements
* {{w|Defence Scheme No. 1}}: A 1920s plan for Canada to attack the USA
* {{w|Elsagate}}: A YouTube controversy involving inappropriate videos being categorised as child-friendly
* {{w|Fastest animals#Invertebrates}}: Very fast insects, and some squid
* {{w|Flying ice cube}}: An effect in molecular dynamics simulations
* {{w|Future of Earth#Introversion}}: A theory that the continents will all drift back together
* {{w|Hairy Hands}}: A ghost story in Dartmoor, England
* {{w|January 0}}: December 31st in some software programs
* {{w|List of fictional colors}}: Impossible colours in fiction
* {{w|List of unexplained sounds}}: Mostly detected by NOAA, includes the Bloop
* {{w|Talk:List of U.S. states and territories by elevation#Delaware - Ebright Azimuth}}: A user argues the highest point in Delaware isn't Ebright Azimuth, but a trailer park
* {{w|Mosquito laser}}: A proposed device for killing mosquitoes
* {{w|Pheasant Island}}: An island shared equally between France and Spain
* {{w|Time in Australia#Anomalies}}: Places in Australia which do not use the expected time zone
* {{w|Timeline of the far future}}: Scientific speculation
* {{w|Walkalong glider}}: A type of unpowered model aircraft

Mentioned in the title text, a "{{w|Czech hedgehog}}" is an anti-tank obstacle made of metal, and would be an effective roadblock, however a sign describing it would not impede most traffic, only for those distracted as easily as Randall.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball drives a car, followed by another car driven by Hairy. Cueball is leaning on the open window looking back as 24 large paper slips with Wikipedia links are flying out of the open trunk of the car. They extend to the front of Hairy's car, obscuring that all the way up to Hairy's position in the car. None of the links can be read in full, and only on a few can parts of the actual link be seen. Many has only part of the pages title visible, some parts are obstructed partly by other slips in front of them or they have not entirely left the trunk. In once case the link is so long that it has been split on two lines on a thicker slip. There is a large part of the link that cannot be seen after the first line, but the end of the second line can be seen as well. Here the (fairly) readable parts are give, roughly in normal reading order.]
:a.org/wiki/Elsagate
:wiki/Bubbly_Creek
:wiki/Pheasant_Island
:a.org/wiki/American_death_triangle
:List_of_fictional_colors
:/wiki/Future_of_Earth#Introversion
:pedia.org/wiki/Fastest_animals#Invertebrates
:ki/Defence_Scheme_No._1
:i/Boeing_YAL-1
:ki/Bald-hairy
:/Walkalong_glider
:Burned_house_horizon
:/wiki/AVE Mizar
:Flying_ice_cube
:Time in Australia#Anomalies:
:Unexplained_sounds
:Talk:List_of_U.S._states_and_
:::::Ebright_Azimuth
:Mosquito_laser
:January_0
:/1808_mystery_eruption
:/Hairy_Hands
:Cumberland_vs._Georgia_Tech_football_game
:Timeline_of_the_far_future
:/wiki/1994_Caribbean_Cup#Anomaly

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I have a collection of Wikipedia links to throw behind my car if I'm ever being chased by someone as easily distracted as me.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

2467: Wikipedia Caltrops

2021-05-24T19:26:35Z

172.69.35.77: /* Explanation */ ce

2465: Dimensional Chess

2021-05-21T18:19:55Z

172.69.35.77: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2465
| date = May 19, 2021
| title = Dimensional Chess
| image = dimensional_chess.png
| titletext = In Dimensional Chess, every move is annotated '?!'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a N-DIMENSIONAL CHESSBOARD. Needs an explanation of what is seen on the board, both including the pieces that are visible on the higher dimensional boards as well as the empty squares seen on some positions. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Being good at {{w|chess}} is often regarded as a sign of high intelligence. A skilled player must be able to consider possibilities several moves in advance, which can be represented as an exponentially growing tree of possibilities. The {{w|branching factor}} of chess, the approximate number of legal moves available at any given time, is about thirty-five, although most players (human and computer) will use heuristics to prune the trees to regard only likely or promising moves. Expanding the playing field by generalizing to {{w|three-dimensional chess}} (or beyond) will increase the branching factor even further, and so someone who is able to competently play three-dimensional chess could be regarded as even more intelligent than someone who can only play two-dimensional chess. Making chess into an N-dimensional game thus makes it arbitrarily more difficult, even before Randall's addition of non-uniform dimensionality of the board.

Regarding Randall's rule that "every row has one more dimension than the one behind it," it is easiest to see how this is applied with the first two rows on each end. The first row on each end is a like a row on a traditional two-dimensional chess board (albeit played with three-dimensional pieces): you can go from left to right, or forward into the next row. The second row then becomes a two-dimensional row of a three-dimensional space: you can go left to right, forward to back, and now top to bottom. Note that there are seven spaces (represented by "shelves") from top to bottom, as opposed to the typical eight rows from left to right/front to back. This is likely to make sure there is symmetry between how many additional spaces are on top versus on the bottom (three, in this case). Moving another row would presumably add movement in some other direction to make it more complicated/interesting. This escalates until somehow the middle two rows require moving pieces in ''five'' dimensions (the middle two rows are four-dimensional rows + moving to other rows as fifth dimension), despite humans only being able to experience three spatial dimensions.{{Citation needed}} This could potentially be accomplished via playing on a computer.

There are eight squares on the first row, 56 on the second row and presumably 504 on the third and 1512 on the fourth, thus making the total number of squares 4160 rather than the 64 of a traditional chess board. The drawing shows apparently five squares (or boxes) stacked on the third row and if this is also formed symmetrically, there are four hidden out of sight. The middle rows are already quite convoluted but it seems as if Randall drew three boxes along this dimension. Due to this dimensionality increase, there is plenty of free space in the middle board, drastically changing the game dynamics such that shadowing plays very little role and that movement is very unrestricted.

The title text refers to the practice of writing down what happens throughout the game, so that it is possible to review how the game progressed later. Recording moves in this fashion is required in most tournament situations. There are several common forms of {{w|Chess notation}} used for this purpose, and as well as indicating the moves, players may add annotations indicating their opinions about whether a particular move was good, bad, or peculiar. According to the title text, every annotation is followed by "?!"—which indicates a questionable move, of dubious value but not obviously a blunder either. The joke is that the variable-dimensional game is so complicated that any move will answer this description.

Note that "in dimensional chess" may be a pun on "N-dimensional chess."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A chessboard is depicted in the middle of a stack of boards. All pieces visible on the middle board are in their starting positions, except the white knight from a2 at d1 and the black pawn from g2 at e2. There are three boards each above and below the original, missing columns a and h. On columns c & f on each board, there are clear cubes with a small pedestal on each square. Columns d & e are similar, except with multiple cubes on each square. No chess pieces are visible, except for a white piece -- not clearly visible, but implicitly the white king's knight -- on the second board above the middle on b2 and a black pawn on the top board on f3. Below the chessboards is a caption]
:[Caption below the panel]:
:The problem with ''N-''dimensional chess is that ''N'' is a constant across the board. In my new variant, every row has one more dimension than the one behind it.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Chess]]

2465: Dimensional Chess

2021-05-19T23:46:56Z

172.69.35.77: /* Transcript */ category

{{comic
| number = 2465
| date = May 19, 2021
| title = Dimensional Chess
| image = dimensional_chess.png
| titletext = In Dimensional Chess, every move is annotated '?!'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a FRACTAL CHESSBOARD. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Being good at chess is often regarded as a sign of high intelligence. A skilled player must be able to consider possibilities several moves in advance, which can be represented as an exponentially-growing tree of possibilities. The {{w|branching factor}} of chess, the approximate number of legal moves available at any given time, is about 35, although most players (human and computer) will use heuristics to prune the trees to regard only likely or promising moves. Expanding the playing field by generalizing to {{w|three-dimensional chess}} (or beyond) will increase the branching factor even further, and so someone who is able to competently play 3-dimensional chess could be regarded as even more intelligent than someone who can only play 2-dimensional chess. Making chess into an N-dimensional game thus makes it arbitrarily more difficult, even before Randall's addition of non-uniform dimensionality of the board.

Regarding Randall's rule that "every row has one more dimension than the one behind it," it is easiest to see how this is applied with the first two rows on each end. The first row on each end is simply a one dimensional line: you can go from left to right. The second row then becomes a square: you can go left to right and top to bottom. Note that there are seven spaces from top to bottom, as opposed to the typical 8 from left to right. This is likely to make sure there is symmetry between how many additional spaces are on top vs on the bottom (three, in this case). Moving another row would presumably add movement in some other direction to make it more complicated/interesting. This escalates until somehow the middle two rows require moving pieces in 5 dimensions, despite our typical world being 3-dimensional. This could potentially be accomplished via playing on a computer.

The title text refers to the practice among many chess players of writing down what happens throughout the game so that they can review how the game went later. There are several common forms of this {{w|Chess notation}}. According to Randall, in "dimensional chess," every annotation is followed by '?!'. According to the Wikipedia article on {{w|chess annotation symbols}}, this refers to a dubious move (either of doubtful legality or unclear merit, both of which would make sense in this level of confusion). It's worth noting that the ''literal'' meaning of the symbols also mark something as {{w|question mark|questionable}} and {{w|Exclamation mark|eliciting strong feelings}}.

Note that "in dimensional chess" may be a pun on "N-dimensional chess."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A chessboard is depicted in the middle of a stack of boards. All pieces visible on the middle board are in their starting positions, except the white knight from 2a at 1d and the black pawn from 2g at 2e. There are three boards each above and below the original, missing columns a and h. On columns c & f on each board, there are clear cubes with a small pedestal on each square. Columns d & e are similar, except with multiple cubes on each square. No chess pieces are visible, except for an unidentified white piece on the second board above the middle on 2b and a black pawn on the top board on 3f. Below the chessboards is a caption]
:Caption: The problem with ''N-''dimensional chess is that ''N'' is a constant across the board. In my new variant, every row has one more dimension than the one behind it.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Chess]]

Talk:310: Commitment

2021-05-14T02:15:09Z

172.69.35.77: Comment

This is my greatest fear.{{unsigned ip|69.91.105.111 | 00:15, 6 May 2013‎ (UTC)}}

:Totally agree --[[User:SergioCastanneda|SergioCastanneda]] ([[User talk:SergioCastanneda|talk]]) 21:48, 24 May 2013 (UTC)

::Disagree. There is no true one. You join in commitment and make it work. Because, even if there was a true one, what if "the one" mucked up, and didn't pick her true one. We'd have to assume that both people would be capable of picking out their true one love. What if yours mucked up and ended up addicted to drugs, went insane, or worse. So, at this point we have to assume that the true one would be good enough to avoid all that. Then, they'd have to be better at us at recognizing their true love. They'd have to better at us at building relationships to make up for our inadequacies. They'd have to be better at us at a lot of stuff. And if they were better than us, then we'd be unequally committed. We'd be the butt of all the screw ups. Everything we did would be wrong. It would be marriage hell. No, I like the idea that me and my wife picked each other, and we are equally inadequate, and that our love for each other is what makes us strive to make it work. That to me, is more romantic than finding a one that I'd always feel inadequate to have. [[User:Cflare|Cflare]] ([[User talk:Cflare|talk]]) 14:36, 21 July 2014 (UTC)

::I disagree with the last sentence of the explanation. I think it was not Cueball that was the "last guy in that situation". I think it is Cueball or someone else observing Cueball, and making a comment about a previous person. [[User:Tryc|Tryc]] ([[User talk:Tryc|talk]]) 15:56, 20 June 2013 (UTC)

:In general I do not edit other posts but here was something broken. I am pretty sure this comic refers to the movie {{w|The Graduate}} feat. {{w|Dustin Hoffman}}. Hoffman became very popular after it was released AND the ending of that movie is very similar to this comic. I will add an incomplete tag for further investigations.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 19:05, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
::There is nothing similar to the Graduate in this comic. In the movie it is the girl that leaves another man at the alter (before saying yes), for the boy she loved, but at first could not forgive for having had sex with mrs. Robinson - her mother. When he came after her, she decided to flee from a marriage she had chosen in spite of having experienced the trumpets for him. So no relation here. And I can see the incomplete tag has been removed...--[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 19:27, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Randall has a What If? article about the one perfect match; would it be worth referring to it here? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.89|108.162.246.89]] 07:13, 17 February 2017 (UTC)

:I say no. What If came waaaay after this [[User:DPS2004|DPS2004'); DROP TABLE users;--]] ([[User talk:DPS2004|talk]]) 15:01, 12 February 2018 (UTC)

::Then whoever submitted the question could've been inspired by this comic. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.35.77|172.69.35.77]] 02:15, 14 May 2021 (UTC)

2372: Dialect Quiz

2020-10-15T04:51:11Z

172.69.35.77:

{{comic
| number = 2372
| date = October 14, 2020
| title = Dialect Quiz
| image = dialect_quiz.png
| titletext = Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a LIGHTBULB EATER. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a parody of online quizzes that offer to compare the user's dialect of American English with others around the country. These quizzes generally contain questions about word usage, names for certain objects, and pronunciations that vary between different regions of the US. There are also quizzes about broader English dialects, but this comic focuses on commonly cited differences between American dialects.

The earliest quiz of this type to be widely disseminated online was the [http://dialect.redlog.net/ Harvard Dialect Survey], conducted in the early 2000s by Bert Vaux and Scott Golder. The survey created maps of the distribution of various word usage (such as pop/soda/Coke for a fizzy drink) and was a relatively early example of widely shared Internet "viral" content. In 2013, Josh Katz of the New York Times created [https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/upshot/dialect-quiz-map.html a new version] based on the Harvard survey, which became the Times' [https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/01/-em-the-new-york-times-em-most-popular-story-of-2013-was-not-an-article/283167/ most popular content of 2013] and spread the idea to many more people. Many of the questions in this comic directly derive from entries in those surveys.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Question !! Answers !! Explanation
|-
! 1
| How do you address a group of two or more people?
|
* A) You
* B) Y'all
* C) I have not been around two or more people for so long that I can't remember
| Reference to the first question of the Times quiz: "How would you address {{w|You#Informal_plural_forms|a group of two or more people}}?" (with options including "you all", "you guys", "y'all", etc.). Option C references the significant decrease in human interaction and social contact during the COVID-19 pandemic.
|-
! 2
| How do you pronounce "Penelope"?
|
* A) Rhymes with "Antelope"
* B) Rhymes with "Develop"
| Both the options for this are wrong, making it the first of many quiz questions it is impossible to answer correctly.

Neither Option A's "PEN-e-lohp" and Option B's "pe-NELL-up" are a typical pronunciation of this name (beyond mispronunciations). In English, the only correct way to pronounce this name is "pe-NELL-o-pee," which is not listed.
|-
! 3
| What do you call the scientific field that studies the stars?
|
* A) Astrology
* B) Agronomy
* C) Cosmetology
| The actual answer is {{w|Astronomy}}, which is not listed. {{w|Astrology}} is the pseudo-scientific "study" of the influence of the stars on our lives, including horoscopes (often confused with Astronomy due to its similar name), {{w|Agronomy}} ''is'' scientific but instead studies agriculture, and {{w|Cosmetology}} is the study of cosmetics and makeup (with a name close to {{w|Cosmology}}, a branch of Astronomy). The last may also be referring to the (occasionally heavily made-up) faces of movie and television "stars".
|-
! 4
| How do you pronounce "genre"?
|
* A) Gone-ra
* B) Juh-neer
* C) Jen-er-uh
| Reference to a question found on some quizzes: "How do you pronounce ''genre''? ZHAHN-ruh, or JAHN-ruh?"

A majority of English speakers pronounce "genre" as either "'''ZH'''AHN-ruh" (beginning with the "zh" sound found in "trea'''s'''ure") or "'''J'''AHN-ruh" (beginning with the "j" sound in "justice"). Neither of these are listed, and none of the quiz's pronunciation options are common. However, they are close to other words: ''Juh-neer'' is the way the second and third syllables of ''engineer'' are are pronounced, and ''Jen-er-uh'' is a word (genera), the plural of {{w|genus}}.
|-
! 5
| You pronounce "Google" with a high-pitched yelp on the...
|
* A) First syllable
* B) Second syllable
| Reference to general questions regarding differences in pronunciation of words. "Google" is not generally pronounced with a high-pitched yelp on either syllable.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! 6
| What do you call the thing on the wall at school that you drink water from?
|
* A) Gutter pipe
* B) Drainpipe
| Reference to a quiz question in the Harvard and Times quizzes, "What do you call the thing from which you might drink water in a school?" Answers included "drinking fountain", "water fountain", and "bubbler". However, the question in this comic implies that schoolchildren (or at least the quizmaker) drink out of gutter pipes or drain pipes, which are used to collect rainwater and should not be drunk from.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! 7
| How do you pronounce the name for a short silent video file?
|
* A) Animated give
* B) Animated gift
| Reference to the "{{w|Gif}}" pronunciation debate, with people split between pronouncing it "gif" (with the hard G sound in "graphics") or "jif" (with the soft G sound in "giraffe"). However, both options presented in this quiz use the hard G sound.
|-
! 8
| What do you call the baseball-sized garden bugs that, when poked, glow brightly and emit a warbling scream?
|
* A) What?
* B) Lawn buddies
| Reference to a question in the Harvard and Times quizzes: "What do you call the {{w|Armadillidiidae|small gray bug}} that curls up into a ball when it’s touched?" (options include "roly-poly," "pill-bug", "potato bug", "doodle bug", etc.). However, there are no common "baseball-sized garden bugs".{{Citation needed}} May also be a reference to what "potato bug" means to people in the eastern part of the United States and {{w|Jerusalem cricket|what it means}} to people in the western part of the United States.
|-
! 9
| What do you call the misleading lines painted by disgruntled highway workers to trick cars into driving off the road?
|
* A) Prank lines
* B) Devil's Marks
* C) Fool-me lines
* D) Fauxguides
* E) Delaware lines
| Reference to the fact that some quiz questions ask about road features, such as "verge/berm/parking strip/curb strip" and "roundabout/traffic circle". However, these particular road lines, if they have ever been made, aren't common enough to warrant different names. The Delaware Line was a formation within the Continental Army. May also just be a dig at Delaware.

Misleading lines on the road were also mentioned in [[1958: Self-Driving Issues]].
|-
! 10
| What do you call the blue-green planet in the outer Solar System?
|
* A) Uranus
* B) Neptune
| This question references the two common pronunciations of Uranus: "UR-ah-nus" and "Ur-AY-nus" (which sounds like the phrase "{{tvtropes|UranusIsShowing|Your anus}}", a favorite joke of little kids). It also references the fact that Uranus and Neptune are both blue-ish colored planets in the outer solar system and are often confused by people who don't know much about them. Uranus is closer to being the correct answer - it could plausibly be described as cyan, a color intermediate between blue and green - while Neptune is a deep, unambiguous blue.
|-
! 11
| What do you call this tool?
[[File:CloveHammer.png|150px]] (image of a clove hammer)
|
* A) Banger
* B) Nail axe
* C) Wood mage wand
* D) I'm familiar with this tool but have no specific word for it
* E) I have never seen it before
| The only name most people would ever call this tool is a "hammer".

The last two options reference options in many quiz questions along the lines of "I'm familiar with this but have no specific word for it" and "I am not familiar with this" (such as on the pill-bug/roly-poly question on the real quiz). These may appear as options to questions that ask about something that might not exist everywhere, or something which many may not have a word for (for example, some areas of the United States have a name for "sunshowers," while most don't). However, it's a bit absurd for these options to be present for this question (and this question alone), as most users would be expected to know what a hammer is.
|-
! 12
| What do you call a long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff?
|
* A) A long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff
* B) A longwich
* C) A salad hot dog
| Reference to a common dialect quiz question: "What do you call a {{w|Submarine sandwich|long sandwich}}?" with options typically including "sub", "hoagie", "hero", etc.

The hot dog answer could refer to the common online discussion: "Is a hot dog a sandwich?"
|-
! 13
| What do you call the scaly many-legged animal often found in attics?
|
* A) Lightbulb eater
* B) I have no special name for them
* C) I've never looked in my attic
| Another reference to the frequent appearance of quiz questions asking what users call various creepy crawlies.
This question may be referencing the fact that spiders often live in attics, but Randall's creature doesn't seem to be quite the same as a normal spider since they usually aren't scaly and don't eat lightbulbs.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! 14
| What do you say when someone around you sneezes?
|
* A) "What was that?"
* B) "Oh, wow."
* C) [Quietly] "Yikes."
| Reference to a question on some quizzes about which of several words/phrases you say in response to a sneeze, with usual answers including "bless you", "God bless you", and "{{w|Gesundheit}}" (from the German word for 'health').

This question may also be referencing the {{w|COVID-19 pandemic}} in answer C (and possibly answer B). Sneezing isn't a primary symptom of COVID-19, but most people are hyper-aware of possibly contracting the disease from the people around them so sneezes are treated with suspicion and it's seen as rude to sneeze openly.

It is also possible that a person who has been able to catch a sneeze-producing condition has also caught COVID-19 and, while the sneeze itself isn't ''caused'' by it, the air and various airway fluids so forcefully projected are a possible infective vector with that little extra frisson of concern, given the current situation.
|-
! Title Text
| colspan=2 | Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?
| Phrased similarly to questions like, on the Times quiz, "How do you pronounce the words Mary, merry, and marry?" Options included "all three are pronounced the same", "all three are pronounced differently," or all three combinations of two being the same and one different.

{{w|Shallots}} and {{w|scallions}} are both types of onions (the former somewhat resembling garlic cloves, the latter being long green/white stalks also called spring onions). {{w|Scallops}} (either pronounced
''skollops'' or ''skallops'') are invertebrate marine animals similar to oysters and clams, frequently harvested for food (also what potato fritters are called in some regions of the UK and Australia). The three sound somewhat similar, but are quite different.
|}

==Transcript==

[Box with title at the top]
:<big>Dialect Quiz</big>
[Smaller subtitle underneath]
:Compare answers with your friends!

[Quiz is divided into two columns. Answers to questions are indicated by a letter followed by a closed parentheses, such as A). These letters are greyed out]

[Column 1:]
 
How do you address a group of two or more people?
:A) You
:B) Y'all
:C) I have not been around two or more people for so long that I can't remember

How do you pronounce "Penelope"?
:A) Rhymes with "Antelope"
:B) Rhymes with "Develop"

What do you call the scientific field that studies the stars?
:A) Astrology
:B) Agronomy
:C) Cosmetology

How do you pronounce "genre"?
:A) Gone-ra
:B) Juh-neer
:C) Jen-er-uh

You pronounce "Google" with a high-pitched yelp on the...
:A) First syllable
:B) Second syllable

What do you call the thing on the wall at school that you drink water from?
:A) Gutter pipe
:B) Drainpipe

How do you pronounce the name for a short silent video file?
:A) Animated give
:B) Animated gift

What do you call the baseball-sized garden bugs that, when poked, glow brightly and emit a warbling scream?
:A) What?
:B) Lawn buddies

[Column 2:]
 
What do you call the misleading lines painted by disgruntled highway workers to trick cars into driving off the road?
:A) Prank lines
:B) Devil's Marks
:C) Fool-me lines
:D) Fauxguides
:E) Delaware lines

What do you call the blue-green planet in the outer Solar System?
:A) Uranus
:B) Neptune

What do you call this tool?
 
[Image of a claw hammer]
:A) Banger
:B) Nail axe
:C) Wood mage wand
:D) I'm familiar with this tool but have no specific word for it
:E) I have never seen it before

What do you call a long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff?
:A) A long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff
:B) A longwich
:C) A salad hot dog

What do you call the scaly many-legged animal often found in attics?
:A) Lightbulb eater
:B) I have no special name for them
:C) I've never looked in my attic

What do you say when someone around you sneezes?
:A) "What was that?"
:B) "Oh, wow."
:C) [Quietly] "Yikes."

==Trivia==

*The xkcd Twitter account posted a [https://twitter.com/xkcd/status/1316484953480323072 series of Twitter polls] asking the questions in this comic.
*Shallots, scallops, and scallions ran against each other in [[1529: Bracket]]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]