explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

995: Coinstar

2024-01-07T23:09:38Z

172.70.34.17: Reworked alarm section

{{comic
| number = 995
| date = December 26, 2011
| title = Coinstar
| image = coinstar.png
| titletext = Plus they take like 9%.
}}

==Explanation==
This is another one of [[Randall|Randall's]] [[:Category:Tips|Tips]], this time a Holiday Tip.

Chocolate coins are a popular holiday candy, and thus this is another [[:Category:Christmas|Christmas comic]]. These candies are usually plain chocolate formed in the shape of coins and covered in metallic foil wrappers.

{{w|Coinstar}} machines accept all your loose coins, sort them, count them, and then give you the same amount of money in paper currency, around 9% less as it says in the title text. You may find similar machines in grocery stores and shopping malls around the US and Canada.

These machines work by vibrating a box with a series of slots along one side, which each corresponding to the sizes of standard accepted coins. The vibrations move the coins along the different slots. If they pass through the slots the coins are then fed into a mechanism with a counterweight that's balanced to test the weight to ensure that it has captured the appropriate coin. Coins of the right size but wrong weight (such as similarly sized coins of different currencies) are dropped back out into a reject chute to be retrieved by the customer. Coins that do not fit the standard sizes also get rejected in the same way. There are also various anti-theft mechanisms that prevent coins from being counted and then retrieved. Coins that meet the programmed criteria are funneled into internal repositories and are counted towards the total.

The chocolate coins in the comic appear to have damaged the machine. As the only property that the candies share with actual currency may be its appearance the machine would not be designed to handle the softer material causing the machine to malfunction and create the unusual noises presented. The chocolate may have fouled the initial vibrating tabulator; it may be that the coins are getting caught in the reject chute or are fouling the scales. In any case, an alarm has sounded, likely triggered by an electronic circuit going "pop". The alarm could also be the anti-theft system being triggered, thus causing the machine to shut down and preventing false totals from registering.

The title text suggests that the machine would take its customary 9% from the total of the chocolate coins which is ironic since the reader knows that their candy has insignificant monetary value.

==Transcript==
:[A mischievous Cueball empties a small bag into a machine.]
:''whirrrrrrr''
:''bzzt''
:[Machine makes progressively less happy noises.]
:'''''kachunk'''''
:''tshhhhhhhhhh''
:''clickclickclickclick''
:'''''GRIND'''''
:[Machine malfunctions and shuts down.]
:''pop''
:''beeeeeeeeeeeep!''
:[Text below frame]
:Holiday tip: Coinstar does not handle chocolate coins well.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Christmas]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Tips]]

Talk:2615: Welcome Back

2022-05-05T06:53:55Z

172.70.34.17:

I'm terrible at writing descs so somebody note how he's opening the app to check for a tornado which is already approching [[User:Mushrooms|Mushrooms]] ([[User talk:Mushrooms|talk]]) 06:42, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
No the tornado is far away.

1809: xkcd Phone 5

2022-05-04T01:35:27Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 237157 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1809
| date = March 10, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 5
| image = xkcd_phone_5.png
| titletext = The phone will be collected by the toll operators and mailed back to you within 4-6 weeks.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the fifth entry in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]], and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords, and horribly misuses all of them, to create a phone that sounds impressive but self-evidently isn't to even the most ignorant customer. The previous comic in the series [[1707: xkcd Phone 4]] was released almost 8 months before this one and the next [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]] was released 7 months later.

The slogan beneath the phone, "We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers", is a reference to inconsistent product numbering, such as {{w|Samsung}} releasing the {{w|Note 7}} after the {{w|Note 5}}, likely in an attempt to catch up to the numbering of either the {{w|iPhone}} or {{w|Galaxy S}} series, both of which were already at 7. Similarly, there was also no official ''iPhone 2''. But there is an [[xkcd Phone 2]] available. The trademark sign behind the word "numbers" possibly indicates a reference to the {{w|Numbers (spreadsheet)|Apple spreadsheet app}} with the same name.

This phone seems to have a curved display. But the edges are curved down and not up, as they are on other curved phones.

The title text that says that the phone will be returned to you by the toll operators is a reference to E-ZPass partnership feature; see explanation in the table regarding that feature.

===List of features===

; Hook shot

: In ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda}}'' the [http://zelda.gamepedia.com/Hookshot Hookshot] is a recurring weapon/tool. It is a machine consisting of a chain and hook. When used, the chain extends and sends the hook which is attached to it. It is used to bring items to {{w|Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link}} or bring Link closer to a goal (''Link'' is the name shared by the main protagonists, each possessing the Spirit of the Hero). Likely a reference to new video game ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild}}'', which was released a week prior to this comic (ironically, that game does not feature the Hookshot).

In the comic the hook shot is shown as a small port upon the phone's top; the hook itself is not visible, suggesting it is contained in the device until use. Most Hookshots in the game series are large enough to be grasped in or encompass the hand, with the hook being large and extending out of the tool even without use. The size of the port and absence of the hook before use implies a very small hook and a very thin chain, making it impractical for use in either of the tool's functions.

; Bluetooth speaker

: {{w|Bluetooth}} speakers are often used to play audio from a smartphone wirelessly, usually with more volume and better quality than the phone's small built-in speaker can provide. Embedding a bluetooth speaker into the phone would allow the phone to play audio from outside sources through its built-in speaker, which could be useful if no better speakers were available but would generally be avoided given the previously noted limitations of phone speakers. This is perhaps a jab at the current trend of playing music or Internet content audibly in public through the tiny, tinny speaker embedded in most phones. The Bluetooth speaker is located in the normal place for a phone's speaker.

; Stained-glass display

: {{w|Stained glass}} is colored glass, traditionally used for decorative windows in buildings most often churches. It is generally much thicker and because of the color much less transparent, especially for some colors, than the glass types normally used for touch-screens, making the phone difficult to use as it would remove some of the colors shown on the screen below the glass. A typical feature noticed about the glass for real phones would be its strength, as in work phones for construction workers.

; Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F

: Many high-end electronic devices have chassis made of alloys of light metals such as {{w|magnesium}} or {{w|titanium}} rather than {{w|steel}} or {{w|plastic}}. Besides being lightweight and of superior quality and durability than ordinary sheet steel or cheap plastic, these are often perceived as bragging points by the users, boasting about 'rare' metal chassis.

: {{w|Gallium}}, however, is an uncommon metal with a very low melting point of 85 °F (or 29.8 °C), making it one of only four pure metals (along with {{w|Mercury (element)|mercury}}, {{w|rubidium}} and {{w|caesium}}) that can be liquid around room temperature. Because the melting point is lower than the average {{w|human body temperature}} of 98.6 °F (37 °C) a gallium smartphone chassis would melt in the user's bare hand, assuming it hadn't already done so due to heat produced by its internal components. Even if the electronics had good heat management, cooling in smartphones is normally accomplished by distributing heat to the case, not exhausting it.

: A similar real advertisement regarding the chassis would be that it was {{w|waterproof}} down to some depth (say, 85 feet or 25 meters). See also the feature below regarding this.

; Soundproof

: A {{w|Soundproof}} chassis could result in the unwanted effect that the speakers and microphone may not work as no sound may enter or leave the phones chassis. A more likely feature would be waterproof (see above point).

; Can feel pain

: Possibly a reference to {{w|intelligent personal assistant|intelligent personal assistants}} like {{w|Siri}}, {{w|Cortana (software)|Cortana}} or {{w|Amazon Alexa|Alexa}} gaining consciousness (see [[1807: Listening]] for the latter). Such {{w|artificial intelligence}} references is a [[:Category:Artificial Intelligence|recurring subject]] on xkcd.

: This could mean that either the phone feels pain for damages inflicted upon it or it feels the user's pain level (regarding either physical and/or emotional pain). The meaning would quickly become apparent for the user if the chassis melts on contact with exposed skin leaving the phone with "open wounds".

: This could be seen as a similar feature of the first xkcd phone, [[1363: xkcd Phone]], where the title text notices (among many other things) that the ''phone will drown'' if submerged in water. A similar thing is also mentioned for [[1549: XKCD Phone 3]]. That phone is ''waterproof but can drown''. Since this phone is soundproof but not waterproof, per the two points above, the drowning issue may still be relevant. The second phone, [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]], ''cries when lost'' a similar display of emotions/feelings. That phone also mentions waterproofing, but here it is only the interior, and although it is washable, it is only a one-time feature (like the fold-ability of this one; see two points below). Finally it also [[1707: xkcd Phone 4]] mentions that it is waterproof, but not between 30-50 m down...

; E-ZPass partnership: Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls

: {{w|E-ZPass}} is an electronic toll collection system. The vehicle drives through the toll lane without stopping, and sensors detect the pass and deduct the appropriate amount from the user's account. The phone's integration with E-ZPass is absurd since the phone needs to be dropped into a coin basket to work. Not only would you have to stop in order to throw the phone into the coin basket, which defies the idea of E-ZPass, but you would also lose your phone.

: In the '''title text''', however, it says that the phone will be retrieved by the toll operators and returned by mail within 4–6 weeks. So this slightly mitigates the problem of losing the phone, but there would be about a month where the phone could not be used.

; Foldable (once)

: Almost anything long and slim can be "folded" by simply snapping it in half. But as it says, this can only be done once, because the phone cannot be unsnapped and will not work any more once it has been folded.

: This is a reference to the [http://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/samsung-foldable-smartphone-news/ rumors of the new Samsung Galaxy X] that is really foldable like a piece of rubber. See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fro_CNjxYwM this video].

: It could also refer to the fact that a version of iPhone had a weak spot that lead it to easily folding and breaking. And it could be a reference to {{w|Flip (form)|flip phones}}.

; Screen transfers images to skin

: Transferring images to the skin sounds like either real {{w|tattoos}} or the water tattoos used by children or other kinds of {{w|temporary tattoos}}. Likely it should be understood that it would be possible to transfer the image displayed on the screen to your skin, hopefully when activating the feature rather than by accident, and, preferably, also not permanently. This may also be a reference to the experimental Cicret Bracelet's ability to project images onto your arm: [http://www.snopes.com/photos/technology/cicret.asp]

; Retina storage

: This is a play on the name of Apple's prized "{{w|Retina Display}}". The joke may be in reference to Apple's possession of a trademark for the word "retina" in regards to computer equipment, which is made to seem absurd by the unusual use. It is not made clear whose retinas are meant to be stored. It could also be a reference to retinally implanted computers. The retina storage is a slot at the bottom of the phone right of the charging port.

; Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon

: A reference to {{w|Pokémon Go}}, an augmented reality game where the goal is to go to specific locations and play a mini-game in order to catch virtual creatures called {{w|Pokémon}} (see [[1705|1705: Pokémon Go]]). This phone apparently catches Pokémon automatically, similar to the external device {{w|Pokémon_Go#Pok.C3.A9mon_Go_Plus|Pokémon Go Plus}}. However, this feature also eats them, which is something that is not part of the game and wouldn't be desirable, as it is about collection and storing as many different Pokémon as possible. It could be a coincidence, but it seems funny that the label for this background feature is the only one that points at the back of the phone.

; Supercuts partnership: Trims hair fed into charging port

: {{w|Supercuts}} is an American hair salon chain that provides hair cuts and styling. The implication here is that the user can get a haircut by Supercuts by sticking hair into the charging slot. This is not only impractical and would only work for hair long enough to be fed into the port, but it would most likely result in a bad haircut. Also the slot would soon be filled with hair. The charging slot is otherwise placed in the normal spot and looks like a regular charging port.

: This feature could actually be quite dangerous if the hair is not removed from the charging slot afterwards because the hair could melt or catch fire inside the phone.

; Squelch knob

: {{w|Squelch}} is a feature of radios (CB, ham, scanner, etc) which quiets background noise when no usable signal is present. It cuts off audio completely when only noise is present. As different environments can have differing levels of background noise, an adjusment such as a knob is required to set the level at which the squelch circuit deactivates and lets audio through ("opening" or "breaking" the squelch). This feature already exists in audio call software but hardwiring it to a knob on the outside of the phone is probably excessive. For a smartphone, perhaps this knob could control the "signal-to-noise" ratio of your Facebook feed or other social media platforms. It takes the place of the headphone jack, replacing the normal hole with a small knob.

; IBM buckling-spring Home button

: {{w|IBM}} {{w|Buckling spring|buckling-spring}} keyboards are favorites of geeks for the feeling of quality and auditory feedback (keys click loudly when pressed) they provide. Real smartphones' home buttons, typically located exactly as in this image, provide little to no such satisfaction when pressed.

; Cot-caught merger switch

: This is a reference to the {{w|cot–caught merger}}, a linguistic change happening among English speakers, particularly in some parts of North America and the British Isles, which causes caught (previously pronounced "kawt") to be pronounced the same as cot (pronounced "kot"). The switch is clearly visible on the side of the phone. A real feature physically similar to this is the slide switch on the iPhone and iPad, allowing the user to (un)lock the orientation of the screen or to (un)mute the device.

; 60x optical zoom camera

: A powerful optical {{w|zoom lens}} is usually a desirable feature for cameras. However, as shown in the comic, it results in very bulky lens. If 60× zoom should be achieved the lens needs to be as big as shown on the backside of the phone, and the whole idea of being able to carry the smartphone easily in a pocket would be defied.

: For that reason, such lenses are never used in smartphones, although rarely some devices, like the {{w|Samsung Galaxy Camera}}, use a smaller lens with a similar design. But this is no longer a smartphone.

: This feature would seem to be a jab at the variety of add-on devices, including close-up lenses, handles, and external flashes, that are currently in use to enhance the phone's ability to function like a camera (and the {{w|selfie stick}}).

: Some phones might instead mention their {{w|digital zoom}} level instead. But that is not a popular feature among photo enthusiasts, as digital zooming gains no additional optical resolution. Users would actually be better off using the maximum optical zoom, and then enlarging their images with photo-editing software, which might offer better, but slower, algorithms (e.g. {{w|linear resampling}} versus {{w|Lanczos resampling}}). Likewise, (mobile phone) cameras are often advertised with their high number of {{w|megapixel}}s, while retaining their small {{w|image sensor size}}. As each individual sensor gets less light, it creates more {{w|image noise}}.

: Randall has made several comics about cameras before; see for instance [[1719: Superzoom]] and other comics linked via this.

: Contrast the [https://www.easy-macro.com EasyMacro] band - 4x zoom with little appreciable thickness.

: Assuming 60x is referring to the base focal length of the iPhone and that the xkcd Phone 5 has the same dimensions as the iPhone 7 Plus then in 35mm format this lens would be 30-1800mm f/0.4-f/24. This is a completely infeasible (but not physically impossible) lens in 35mm format, but similar small format lenses (albeit with more reasonable aperture ranges) do exist in mass production, for example the Nikon P900.

; LORAN navigation

: {{w|LORAN}} (Long Range Navigation) was a precursor to modern {{W|Global Positioning System|GPS}} navigation, using land-based transmitters. Once developed for sea shipping, it is accurate to about 300 meters (1,000 feet). The joke, of course, is that all modern smartphones have integrated GPS navigation which is far more accurate. Due to the much lower frequencies involved, reception of LORAN signals though is much better in areas with obstructed view of the sky. However {{w|LORAN#Commercial_use.2C_decommissioning|LORAN has been decommissioned}} more or less completely since before 2000.

: Incidentally, some receivers of the {{w|Decca Navigator System}} (which operates on a similar principle as LORAN) featured moving map displays, something we associate with modern GPS devices.

; 28-factor authentication

: An {{w|Authentication#Factors and identity|authentication factor}} is a way of proving one's identity. There are [http://www.nikacp.com/images/10.1.1.200.3888.pdf 3 generally recognized forms]: something you know, something you have, and something you are. It can be a password, a fingerprint, a physical key, etc.... Secure applications may include two or more factors; a common example is the "PIN and chip" system used with credit cards, where you need both the card and secret code to authorize a transaction. Many online services now provide two-factor authentication to protect against password-based attacks. 28-factor authentication would likely be very secure in theory but also so impractical that it would be unusable. The user will need to prove their identity 28 different ways which would be so time consuming that would outweigh the convenience of a smart phone. A 2-factor smoke detector was soon after mentioned in one of the tips in [[1820: Security Advice]].

==Transcript==
:[An image of a smartphone with a common optical camera lens attached on its back is shown. Over the entire length the case is slightly rounded. There are several features visible as bottom like features at the top and bottom of the front as well a microphone like slit at the top. A sliding switch is visible on the side, and at the bottom there is a knob, a connector port and a small slit. Clockwise starting from the top left all the labels read:]
:Hook shot
:Bluetooth speaker
:Stained-glass display
:Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F
:Soundproof
:Can feel pain
:E-ZPass partnership: Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls
:Foldable (once)
:Screen transfers images to skin
:Retina storage
:Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon
:Supercuts partnership: Trims hair fed into charging port
:Squelch knob
:IBM buckling-spring home button
:Cot-caught merger switch
:60x optical zoom camera
:''LORAN'' navigation
:28-factor authentication

:[Below the phone:]
:Introducing
:<big>The</big> <big><big>xkcd Phone 5</big></big>
:''We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers®TM''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]

1465: xkcd Phone 2

2022-05-04T01:34:53Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 237158 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1465
| date = December 26, 2014
| title = xkcd Phone 2
| image = xkcd_phone_2.png
| titletext = Washable, though only once.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a followup to [[1363: xkcd Phone]], which debuted the original xkcd phone almost nine months prior to this one. This thus became the second entry in what turned out to become an ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]] which parodies common smartphone specs by attributing absurd or useless features to a fictional phone that sounds impressive but would actually be very impractical. The next in the series [[1549: xkcd Phone 3]] was released just over half a year later.

Like the previous xkcd phone, the advertisement features a useless tagline (very few people can use two phones at the same time) and touts a variety of features which are either pointless, misleading, or physically impossible. Clockwise, from the top left, they are:

*'''MaxHD: Over 350 pixels per screen''': 350 pixels is not very impressive, as each would be about 0.5×0.5 cm in size, making the resolution hopelessly blocky. Even if it implies 350 pixels along the edge, this is still less than standard definition TV (PAL gives 576 lines of horizontal resolution). Likely a reference to HD+, FullHD, QuadHD and other marketing expressions for screen resolutions, by which common users are often confused. In [[732: HDTV]] Randall has observed that HD is not an especially high resolution when compared with smartphone or computer monitors. This one is even worse by far, but MaxHD sounds similar to FullHD, so it could fool some users into thinking that this is equal or better. Yet any resolution higher than that would also technically be "over 350 pixels per screen", so the statement is either not conveying helpful information or not doing a good job at advertising a product meant to be sold.
: ''Note:'' A high pixel density display is more than 200 pixels per '''''inch''''', not per '''''screen'''''. An example would be the Retina Display in Apple hardware which varies from 218 pixels per inch to 401 pixels per inch depending on the device.
*'''Always-on Speaker''': An always-on microphone is a genuine feature, allowing voice activated intelligent personal assistant software such as Google's "Google Now", Apple's "Siri" or Microsoft's "Cortana" to respond without having to be turned on. An always-on speaker would be less useful especially if it implies the phone is always making noise.
*'''Blood Pressure reliever''': This appears to be where a real phone would have its front facing camera. This could imply that it's a sharp part that you can cut yourself on, thus ''relieving'' your blood pressure, or else implying that the other features of the phone are so frustrating that a feature was required to relieve the users' blood pressure. This is likely a play on modern smartphones with built-in heart rate/blood pressure sensors.
*'''Auto-Rotating Case:''' Phones often feature an "auto-rotating screen", meaning that the display switches between portrait and landscape mode depending on its orientation with respect to gravity. But the case is a physical part of the phone, so making a case that did '''not''' "auto-rotate" with the phone would be the real challenge. This could also refer to a gyroscopic system that would enable the phone to rotate on its own.
*'''Ribbed:''' A reference to ribbed {{w|condom}}s, which are often advertised as superior to standard ones because the texture can be more physically stimulating to the genitalia. Some other objects can be advertised with the word ribbed as well, but mostly in the context where it allows a firmer grip on the device when wet. Since phones are usually not meant to be used wet, this is a fairly useless feature. May also be a reference to the first phone where the "exterior may be frictionless".
*'''Waterproof (interior only)''': Waterproofing is done to the outside to prevent water from getting in. Exactly what "interior only" means is unclear (the case may be porous, or it may prevent water from ''escaping'') but it's clear that the designers have missed the point.
*'''Googleable''': Another non-feature. Advertising as "-able" is a way for marketing to add features, without really adding features. This may be (for example) a recyclable paper bag, when paper is normally recyclable. Any term may be "Googled", so being "Googleable" is not an actual feature. Alternatively, while "Googleable" meaning "being able to be Googled" is a non-feature, the related concept of "being able to Google" is a legitimate feature that a phone may advertise, as in having a Google search app built in. This is also a real feature in the sense that you can type "Google find my phone" into Google if you're logged in and your phone runs on the Android operating system. Google will, in fact, find your phone (to the precision allowed by GPS and assuming it still has power).
*'''Cheek toucher''': The screen will touch your cheek when making a hand-held phone call. Obviously a redundant/pointless feature to advertise.
*'''Cries if lost:''' Arguably a useful function, as it would help the owner find the cellphone in case it was lost. This is offset by how annoying it would sound if it happened to cry with a human voice. May refer to people's habit of calling their own cellphones to help find it. It also resembles the first xkcd phone's functions of 'Screaming when falling' and 'Saying hi when exposed to light'.
*'''Bug drawer:''' This is most likely the cover for other ports, though it looks like a small drawer, capable of only holding bug-sized items. Possibly a joke on software bugs, which would, being virtual rather than physical, easily fit inside this area. SD cards containing software bugs may also fit in this area. May also be a reference to "Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal" from the original ''xkcd Phone'' comic.
*'''Coin slot:''' In most phones, this would be the charging port. Payphones have coin slots, not smartphones. It is unclear what use such a feature would have, or if it implies that the phone either cannot be recharged through this slot as usual or if cash payment is somehow required to charge the phone. This could also allow the phone to be used as a piggy bank.
*'''Scroll lock:''' A computer key on most keyboards which is practically never used. This feature seems to be placed where a usual cellphone's "home" button is, which would make it very frustrating. Despite [[978|a previous xkcd strip]], the Scroll Lock button was '''''not''''' invented by {{w|Steven Chu}}.
*'''OS by Stackoverflow®:''' [http://stackoverflow.com/ Stack Overflow] is a very useful and popular question/answer forum for programmers, and many recent software products probably have benefited from advice given there, so Randall may be giving credit where credit really is due. Or it may be a reference to the rampant problem of code reuse, where programmers use the pre-written code on Stack Overflow rather than writing their own, regardless of the fact that the code on Stack Overflow may contain bugs, not be applicable to the programmer's situation, or otherwise cause problems for their specific program. Alternatively, it could be saying that the OS was written by the people on Stack Overflow who go there ''with'' programming issues, implying that the OS was written from code that was posted as not working.
*'''3D Materials:''' All real materials are three-dimensional, so this feature is not special. May be a reference to [[880: Headache]], in which Cueball claims that "3D stuff" (aka the real world) gives him a headache.
*'''Dog Noticer''': Can be interpreted as either alerting the user to nearby dogs, or alerting nearby dogs of the user. The former is very situational, and the latter is probably a negative.
*'''FitBit® Fitness Evaluator''': {{w|Fitbit}} make wristbands that measure heart rate, count user steps, and act as an aid to planning an exercise program. This comic is published on Boxing Day (26 December) 2014 and is relevant as Fitbits are a popular Holiday Gift at this time. However, the name "Fitness Evaluator" suggests that the product merely gives an evaluation on the user's fitness, which may mean that in practice it only criticizes the user's weight, diet etc. Another interpretation is that this monitors the fitness ''of'' the user's FitBit, that is, the state of the armband the person is wearing.
*'''Volume and density control:''' A pun between {{w|volume (disambiguation)|volume}} as in speaker loudness, and {{w|volume}} as in a physical property inversely related to {{w|density}}. Interpreting it as the latter, apparently this feature would allow the user to change the size of the phone (which would indeed be a very useful feature, or a [[1422: My Phone is Dying|very]] {{w|Black hole|worrying}} one), thus changing the volume and the density. It may be able to affect its mass (instead of volume) in some unexplained way. Note that some computer mice indeed have a feature where the user can put weights inside the case to customise the weight and thus actually affect its density.

Like the previous xkcd phone comic, the title text continues the list of features:
*'''Washable, though only once.''': Nothing prevents the phone from physically being washed, however after the first time doing this the phone will obviously cease to function. A play on phrases "washing machine safe" or "dishwasher safe" in real advertisements.

==Transcript==
:[An image of a smartphone lying down with many labels pointing to different parts of it. Above the screen are several small features, below only a central oval button and on the bottom a central socket and a square feature to the right. Clockwise from the top left the labels read:]
:MaxHD: Over 350 pixels per screen
:Always-on speaker
:Blood pressure reliever
:Auto-rotating case
:Ribbed
:Waterproof
:(interior only)
:Googleable
:Cheek toucher
:Cries if lost
:Bug drawer
:Coin slot
:Scroll lock
:OS by Stackoverflow®
:3D materials
:Dog noticer
:FitBit® fitness evaluator
:Volume and density control

:[Below the phone:]
:<big>Introducing</big>
:<big><big>'''The xkcd phone 2'''</big></big>
:A phone for your other hand®

==Trivia==
*This comic was also the first of two comics with {{w|smartphones}} as the subject in a row. This comic was followed by [[1466: Phone Checking]] where [[Megan]] holds a smart phone, which she incidentally also does the comic after that: [[1467: Email]].
*Although this is not a [[:Category:Christmas|Christmas comic]] it come out the day after Christmas, and the previous comic [[1464: Santa]] was about {{w|Santa Claus}}. This phone could be seen as a possible item that would be on any xkcd fans Christmas wishlist...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Animals]]

2256: Bad Map Projection: South America

2022-05-04T01:30:36Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 234312 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2256
| date = January 17, 2020
| title = Bad Map Projection: South America
| image = bad_map_projection_south_america.png
| titletext = The projection does a good job preserving both distance and azimuth, at the cost of really exaggerating how many South Americas there are.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the third comic in the series of [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]] displaying Bad Map Projection #358: Oops, all South Americas!. It came almost three years after the second [[1799: Bad Map Projection: Time Zones]] (#79) (3 years after the first). And was first followed one and a half year later by [[2489: Bad Map Projection: The Greenland Special]] (#299).

The comic shows a {{w|map projection}} in which every continent and large island has just been replaced with a differently scaled and rotated version of the continent of {{w|South America}}.

By [[:File:BadMapProjectionComparison.png|overlaying]] this map with the selection of map projections presented in [[977: Map Projections]], it seems that the "underlying" projection used here is the {{w|Winkel tripel projection}}, also used in [[2242: Ground vs Air]].

The comic is similar to joke map designs in which continents like Africa and South America have been swapped, or where someone will jokingly replace Greenland with South America.

The caption of the comic is a reference to the {{w|Cap'n Crunch}} cereal type that became a meme, [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/oops-all-berries-box-parodies ''Oops! All Berries''].

Interestingly on the original South America, the archipelago or main island (hard to tell) of {{w|Tierra del Fuego}} is replaced with a small South America, while all other South Americas, including the one replacing the Tierra del Fuego, include it in their shape.

The title text claims that the map projection does a good job preserving distance and azimuth, the joke being that the distance and azimuth being preserved for the non-South America continents are those of South America and not the original continent. Note that for the map as drawn in the comic, while this is true for most of the larger landmasses, many of the smaller South Americas are distorted more significantly (such as the South Americas that replace New Zealand).

From roughly left to right and top to bottom, the South Americas replace:

*North America
*3 SAs for the Canadian Arctic Archipelago (possibly Victoria Island, Ellesmere Island, and Baffin Island)
*Greenland 
*Iceland
*Ireland (Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland, UK)
*Great Britain, UK
*Eurasia
*Newfoundland, Canada
*2 SAs for Hokkaido and Honshu, Japan
*Africa
*Taiwan
*Cuba
*Hispaniola (Dominican Republic and Haiti)
*Puerto Rico, US
*Jamaica
*Sri Lanka
*5 SAs for Luzon, Bicol Peninsula (southeastern Luzon), one ambiguous landmass (possibly Negros Island), Samar, and Mindanao; Philippines
*Sumatra, Indonesia
*Borneo (Indonesia, Malaysia, and Brunei)
*Sulawesi, Indonesia
*2 SAs for New Guinea: one for Bird's Head Peninsula in the northwest of the island, and one for the rest of the island
*Java, Indonesia
*Madagascar
*Australia
*Tasmania, Australia
*2 SAs for South Island and North Island, New Zealand
*Isla Grande de Tierra del Fuego, Argentina and Chile

These are the 26 {{w|List of islands by area|largest non-Antarctic landmasses,}} plus 2 peninsulas of those landmasses, and 8 more islands.

See also related comics with map changes in comics [[1500: Upside-Down Map]] and [[1653: United States Map]].

==Transcript==
:[A map of the world, but every landmass has been replaced with South America, rotated and resized to roughly match the real landmasses they represent. South America is correct, except that the islands at the southern tip of the continent also have been switched to a small South America.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Bad Map Projection #358: Oops, all South Americas!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Bad Map Projections]]

2433: Mars Rovers

2022-05-04T01:20:08Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 233268 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2433
| date = March 5, 2021
| title = Mars Rovers
| image = mars_rovers.png
| titletext = I just Googled 'roomba sojourner mod' and was sorely disappointed. Be the change, I guess!
}}

==Explanation==

In this comic, [[Randall]] has made a scatter plot displaying 6 different Mars rovers on a cuteness versus capabilities chart. Only three rover pictures are shown in the main plot, as two of the four rovers are near identical to other rovers sent to Mars, and the last rover is displayed off the cuteness chart.

He finds the ''{{w|Curiosity (rover)|Curiosity}}'' and ''{{w|Perseverance (rover)|Perseverance}}'' rovers to be very capable / useful, but not very cute. ''{{w|Spirit (rover)|Spirit}}'' and ''{{w|Opportunity (rover)|Opportunity}}'' are cuter than the first two, but less capable.

The recently launched ''Perseverance'' rover contains a drone helicopter, ''{{w|Ingenuity (helicopter)|Ingenuity}}'', which Randall finds pretty cute, but is unsure how exactly to grade for capability. The error bars make ''Ingenuity'' look like it's bobbing up and down, as helicopters sometimes do. It's debatable if a flying drone can be considered a Mars Rover, since a rover is usually something that drives over a surface, but the anticipated flight plan for ''Ingenuity'' is to cover some distance (by air) and then land on the ground again.

Finally, on the very right far off the cuteness chart is the ''{{w|Sojourner (rover)|Sojourner}}'' rover, launched in 1997. He considers this rover extremely cute, but ultimately not that capable. To indicate the extreme cuteness of ''Sojourner'' (previously mentioned in [[1585: Similarities]]), he has drawn it far outside the axis of the plot to indicate it falls off the chart.

In the title text, Randall is disappointed that there aren't many people who have modified their {{w|Roomba}} vacuums to look like (or act like?) the ''Sojourner'' rover. Roombas are a [[:Category:Roomba|recurring theme]] on xkcd. Search results at the time of posting are mainly reports mentioning the {{w|iRobot}} company, makers of the Roomba line, since one of its founders worked on the ''Sojourner'' rover.

The end of the title text, "be the change," is a truncated form of the expression "be the change you want to see in the world"; basically, if there's something you want to see happen, be the one who makes it happen. This implies that Randall will be modifying his Roomba to look/act like ''Sojourner''.

==Transcript==
:[A scatter plot is shown with two labeled axis, each with 5 ticks and ending in an arrow. Two types of Mars rovers are drawn in the top left part, at the top tick and the next highest tick. Each rover type has a label with two names. A third smaller drone is drawn in the lower right part close to the third tick on the Y-axis, with a single name label. It has two arrows pointing up and down to question marks, and two small lines of either side of the rotor blades, indicate movement. Far to the right, about twice the length of the drawn X-axis from the origin of the chart, and at the height of the lowest tick on the Y-axis, is a third type of rover, also with a single name label. The entire chart also has a label:]
:Mars Rovers
:Y-Axis: Capabilities
:X-Axis: Cuteness
:Curiosity & Perseverance
:Spirit & Opportunity
:Ingenuity
:Sojourner

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Rankings]]
[[Category:Mars rovers]]
[[Category:Roomba]]

1222: Pastime

2022-05-04T01:19:33Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 234766 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1222
| date = June 7, 2013
| title = Pastime
| image = pastime.png
| titletext = Good thing we're too smart to spend all day being uselessly frustrated with ourselves. I mean, that'd be a hell of a waste, right?
}}

==Explanation==
When asked by [[Megan]] what he's been up to, [[Cueball]] responds with the {{tvtropes|SuspiciouslySpecificDenial|suspiciously specific denial}}, "Definitely not spending every day consumed with worry over stupid things I never talk to anyone about.", which suggests that that is exactly what he's been spending every day doing, but he is hiding it from her and everyone else. Megan's response "Oh, yeah, me neither" suggests she too is worrying over stupid things but isn't admitting it.

Instead of discussing their mutual worry and possibly making each other feel better, they instead continue to "not talk to anyone about it" and stand in {{w|awkward silence}}.

The title text continues the irony suggesting it's good that they're too smart to spend all day being uselessly frustrated with themselves, but that's apparently exactly what they are doing.

This could also be a reference to the common response to the question Megan asks in the first panel, "nothing", a response that is almost certainly false, and usually means the same thing that Cueball said, but is usually accepted, if not expected.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Cueball are chatting. She has hair.]
:Megan: What've you been up to?

:Cueball: Definitely not spending every day consumed with worry over stupid things I never talk to anyone about.

:Megan: Oh, yeah, me neither.
:Cueball: That's good.
:Megan: Yeah.

:[The final panel is silent.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]

2001: Clickbait-Corrected p-Value

2022-05-04T01:19:13Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 235188 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2001
| date = June 1, 2018
| title = Clickbait-Corrected p-Value
| image = clickbait_corrected_p_value.png
| titletext = When comparing hypotheses with Bayesian methods, the similar 'clickbayes factor' can account for some harder-to-quantify priors.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Clickbait}} is the practice of using deceptive or hyperbolic headlines to entice readers to click on a dubious or sensationalist news story, often with the purpose of generating site traffic and ad revenue. [[Randall]] uses the scientific controversy regarding the {{w|Health effects of chocolate|health effects of chocolate}} to humans as an example, as there is widespread misinformation on the health effects of chocolate online. In fact, there are no reliable studies to confirm any health effects while no medical authority has approved any health claims regarding chocolate.

{{w|Statistical hypothesis testing|Hypothesis testing}} in statistics is a standard method to determine whether a particular hypothesis is supported by the data. For the topic given in this comic, a researcher might compare data on athletic performance with data on chocolate consumption by those athletes to determine whether the two trend together. By convention, the "null hypothesis" (denoted H0) is that there is no correlation (e.g. chocolate doesn't affect athletic performance) while the "alternate hypothesis" (H1) would be that they are correlated. (If the study consists of ''feeding'' chocolate to one of two identical groups and not the other, rather than tracking what they'd be eating anyway, then the alternative hypothesis can be strengthened to be that chocolate causes improved performance.) These sets are subjected to statistical tests which return a "test statistic". From that test statistic a {{w|P-value|"p-value"}} is calculated. The p-value indicates the probability of observing the obtained results (or any more extreme value), when the null hypothesis is true (e.g. chocolate has no effect on athletic performance).

In other words, the p-value is an indicator as to the statistical significance and consequential reliability of the results affirming the "alternate hypothesis"([http://www.perfendo.org/docs/BayesProbability/twelvePvaluemisconceptions.pdf not the probability that the null hypothesis is correct]). It answers the question: If there is no correlation, how likely was it that I saw a correlation at least this big? Hence, if the p-value is low enough (by convention < 0.05), the null hypothesis is rejected, and we conclude that the alternate hypothesis is supported by the data (NOT that it is "correct" or "true").

In this comic, the p-value is corrected by a factor that takes clickbait into account. This factor has the effect of increasing the p-value if H1 is more clickbaity than H0, and decreases the p-value if H0 is more clickbaity than H1. This suggests that whatever clickers of clickbait believe, the reverse is likely to be true.

Furthermore, this factor may be interpreted as normalisation for the inherent {{w|selection bias}} where the p-values for more clickbaity H1s tend to be lower than they should be and p-values for non-clickbaity H0s to be higher than they should be. For example, one explanation could be that for p-values that are on the cusp of significance, researchers may be more incentivized to fudge and adjust the data to get the p-value down if the H1 is highly sensational, since the H1 would make the research more likely to get published and attract attention. (See also [https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/science-isnt-broken/ FiveThirtyEight's article on p-hacking] and [https://stats.stackexchange.com/questions/200745/how-much-do-we-know-about-p-hacking-in-the-wild/200752#200752 this Stack Exchange question about p-hacking in the wild].) P-hacking has also previously already been [https://io9.gizmodo.com/i-fooled-millions-into-thinking-chocolate-helps-weight-1707251800 associated] with chocolate and media sensationalism.

As the statistical results now depend on people's beliefs about the hypothesis, this could appear as far from actual science as one can get. However, in a way, it is more in tune with a quote by {{w|John Arbuthnot}} (one of the originators of the use of p-values) attributing variation to active thought rather than chance, "from whence it follows, that it is Art, not Chance, that governs." Randall applying that quote to the thoughts of the masses brings it in line with "Art".

If this correction could be somehow enforced on the scientific world, it would have the effect of keeping the popular view of scientific results more in line with reality. Often one study will be performed that shows an exciting result, and consequently be sensationalised by the media prior to further studies to verify it. This is in part due to the conflicting interest of the scientific community and the media. The clickbait correction may aid a reader in exercising caution when interpreting sensationalist scientific discoveries in news media. Additionally, there can be a problem in some areas of science where more mundane results never undergo the third-party replication studies (see {{w|replication crisis}}, or perhaps are even never studied in the first place. The clickbait correction factor has the opposite effect on these more mundane topics, making it easier to demonstrate effects within them with a lower statistical barrier for entry, perhaps in the hope that more will get studied, published, and exposed to the public.

[[1475: Technically|Technically]], the comic's depiction of null and alternative hypotheses is not entirely correct. As the alternative hypothesis (H1) predicts that chocolate will ''improve performance'' (i.e., a one-tailed, directional hypothesis), the null hypothesis (H0) should predict that chocolate will do nothing ''or'' make performance worse. In other words, the alternative hypothesis should be true if and only if the null hypothesis is false. For example, alternatively, if the H1 were to say that ''chocolate will change performance'' (for better or worse; i.e., a two-tailed hypothesis) then H0 should say that ''chocolate will do nothing''.

The title text refers to {{w|Bayesian statistics}}, a statistical technique which involves considering (before you see the new data) how likely you think it is that the hypothesis is true. (It is worth noting that the traditional statistical analysis described above, doesn't directly say anything about how likely the hypothesis is to be *true*. It simply assesses whether the data is consistent with the null hypothesis.) Under Bayesian analysis, you begin with a {{w|Prior probability|prior probability}}, or simply just "prior", which expresses how likely you think the alternate hypothesis is. Then after seeing the new data, you apply {{W|Bayes' theorem}} to *update* your belief about the hypothesis, and as a result you should then consider the hypothesis to be more likely (or less likely) than you considered it before.

Bayesian statistics therefore recognizes that an extraordinary claim should require more evidence to convince you than a "reasonable" claim would. (Which is, arguably, sort of, the same point being made by the Clickbait-correction.) But also that *enough* evidence, perhaps gathered step by step over time, should be sufficient to convince you even of extraordinary claims.

The technique can be hard to apply in science however, because of the difficulty in agreeing upon reasonable priors. Here it's suggested that an alternative "clickbayes factor" (a pun and {{w|portmanteau}} of clickbait and Bayesian) could be used to approximate hard to quantify priors.

==Transcript==
:[Under a heading that says Clickbait-Corrected p-Value there is a mathematical formula. Below that is the description of the two used variables and what they mean:]
:Clickbait-corrected p-value:

:PCL = Ptraditional ∙ click(H1)/click(H0)

:H0: NULL hypothesis ("Chocolate has no effect on athletic performance")
:H1: Alternative hypothesis ("Chocolate boosts athletic performance")
:click(H): Fraction of test subjects who click on a headline announcing that H is true

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Clickbait]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Portmanteau]]
[[Category:Puns]]

1468: Worrying

2022-05-04T01:17:46Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 233161 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1468
| date = January 2, 2015
| title = Worrying
| image = worrying.png
| titletext = If the breaking news is about an event at a hospital or a lab, move it all the way over to the right.
}}

==Explanation==
This chart is a visual representation of how worried people should be by various events in real life compared to the same events in movies, based on the likelihood of the event causing serious harm. In effect, it's poking fun at various cliches and the emphasis on dramatic flair, regardless of realism. The chart's Y-axis indicates how worrying an event is in real life (from "not very worried" to "very worried"), while its X-axis shows how worrying the event is in movies. Nine events are shown in the chart, all of them cliches in the medium of film:

*'''Spilling a drink on your shirt''': In both real life and in movies, this just causes a stain and maybe a little embarrassment.
*'''Nosebleed''': Nosebleeds are common in real life, as they can result from even a mild impact to the face, or even dried out sinuses. There are some conditions where nosebleeds can indicate something more serious (such as a stroke, or radiation poisoning), but those are vastly outnumbered by bleeds that are relatively harmless. Unless there's a reason to believe that a nosebleed is connected to something else, they rarely even require medical attention. {{tvtropes|DeadlyNosebleed|Nosebleeds in movies}} are almost always a sign that something ''is'' seriously wrong - the common, mundane nosebleeds almost never come up.
*'''Breaking news''': People in real life commonly don't pay much attention to the news at all, so many breaking stories go unnoticed until much later. Most breaking news stories are also about non-threatening events (e.g. presidential addresses) or events that are far removed from the viewer. However, in movies, "breaking news" broadcasts are almost always a means to introduce a significant plot element which directly impact the protagonists, and are usually very serious events. XKCD has referenced [[1387|news reports as foreshadowing before]].
*'''Parking ticket''': Tickets in movies are almost always ignored, but in real life, they are moderately worrying because they cost money and can tarnish your driving record.
*'''Persistent cough''': In real life, coughing fits can be a sign of serious illness, and are worth having checked out, but the large majority of them indicate only minor and common illnesses. In movies, just like with nosebleeds, a {{tvtropes|IncurableCoughOfDeath|persistent cough}} almost always indicates a potentially deadly disease.
*'''"We need to talk."''': This phrase is a common, stereotypical lead-in to a serious conversation, usually about a couple's relationship status. In real life, as in the movies, prefacing a conversation with that phrase indicate that something serious, and possibly very upsetting, is about to be discussed. such conversations are rarely deadly, but are often upsetting.
*'''Getting knocked out by a punch''': In movies, a character who is {{tvtropes|TapOnTheHead|knocked out by a punch}} always wakes up sometime later with no lasting effects, making it less cause for concern than a spilled drink. In real life, being rendered unconscious by a physical impact is extremely serious, it can result in a variety of permanent impacts, up to and including brain damage and even death.
*'''Chest wounds''': The chart mentions wounds on both your right and left sides. In real life, a chest wound to either side is extremely worrying. But in movies, getting wounded on the right side of the chest will rarely deal lasting damage to the hero or primary villain, to show how badass they are. Wounds on the ''left'' side of the chest generally signify swift death. This is likely due to the common misconception that the heart is on the left side of the chest - it is actually in the center, with a slight tendency to the left. However, even left-side chest wounds in movies are apparently still less worrisome than coughs and nosebleeds. It must also be noted that the term "chest wound" is broader than what the author of the comic appears to mean. More narrow terms of "thoracic gunshot wound", "gunshot chest wound", "thoracic ballistic trauma" or "penetrating chest wound" (the latter is slightly broader and includes the damage inflicted by blades and other impaled objects) would be more appropriate because just a "chest wound" includes such insignificant events as minor skin cuts in the chest area.

The title text expands on the aforementioned breaking news reports. While already overly worrying whenever they occur in movies compared to real life, should the movie's news report cover an event at a hospital (usually an outbreak of some major disease) or a laboratory (a monster escaping, a toxic gas released, an explosion, etc.), these events are universally much more worrisome than any other type of news story since they are guaranteed to be important for the protagonists in short order. In real life, breaking news from such locations may be more likely to be serious, but are still very unlikely to impact the viewer directly.

==Table==
The comic shows an X-Y plot of events, showing how worried you should be ''in real life'' on the vertical axis and ''in movies'' on the horizontal axis. The axis goes from "not very worried" to "very worried".

Below is a table listing the coordinates for each event according to how worrying it is. The coordinates have been found by measuring each dot to the two axises and then assuming that the extremes are at 100%.
*Note that this gives two possible ways to interpret the Y-axis "In real life" coordinate.
**Either chest wound is at 100% - this is the first Y-axis coordinate given below under "In real life".
**But alternatively it could be the most worrisome event overall that should be set to 100% including also the most worrisome event on the X-axis for "In movies". In this case, the nosebleed event sets the 100% bar higher, thus lowering the percentage for the "In real life" events. Either way could be argued, and thus this other coordinate is given as In Real Life vs. Nose Bleed ('''IRL vs. NB''').
*For the "In movies" coordinate nosebleed is at 100%. However, since nosebleed is located past the end of the x-axis arrow it could be argued that it is this event that is off the chart in the movies. But this table will assume this as the 100% mark either overall or at least for the X-axis for "In Movies".

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! In real life !! IRL vs. NB !! In movies !! Event
|-
| 100% || 73% || 30% || Chest wound on your right side
|-
| 100% || 73% || 80% || Chest wound on your left side
|-
| 81% || 59% || 9% || Getting knocked out by a punch
|-
| 75% || 55% || 62% || "We need to talk."
|-
| 51% || 37% || 90% || Persistent cough
|-
| 28% || 20% || 8% || Parking ticket
|-
| 24% || 18% || 74% || Breaking news
|-
| 12% || 8% || 11% || Spilling a drink on your shirt
|-
| 11% || 8% || 100% || Nosebleed
|}

==Transcript==
:'''How worried should you be when various things happen to you:'''
:[A chart with a scatter plot on which 9 dots are labeled. Each axis has a title and a scale. Reading from the top to the bottom and then left to right along the axis are:]
:Very worried
:'''...In Real Life'''
:Not very worried

:Not very worried
:'''...In Movies'''
:Very worried

:[The labels in the chart from the top:]
:[This first entry is standing in the middle of a square bracket that points to the two next entires both of which are at the same level:]
:Chest wound
:...on your right side
:...on your left side
:Getting knocked out by a punch
:"We need to talk."
:Persistent cough
:Parking ticket
:Breaking news
:Spilling a drink on your shirt
:Nosebleed

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Rankings]]

2085: arXiv

2022-05-04T01:16:39Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 234642 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2085
| date = December 14, 2018
| title = arXiv
| image = arxiv.png
| titletext = Both arXiv and archive.org are invaluable projects which, if they didn't exist, we would dismiss as obviously ridiculous and unworkable.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|arXiv}} is a [https://arxiv.org free online repository of electronic preprints of scientific papers] in various fields, particularly in physics, math, and computer science. Scientists typically publish "preprint" versions of journal articles to arXiv, which are free to publish to and read. In this comic [[Megan]] remarks that academic journals must have a hard time getting by since their primary revenue is from researchers who pay to publish articles and readers who pay for subscriptions. Her remark seems to assume that arXiv must be a recent development, perhaps similar to the {{w|Sci-Hub|Sci-Hub project}} which began in 2011. However, [[Ponytail]] informs her that the arXiv project has been around since the 1990s (1991 to be exact).

After a panel of [[Megan]] looking contemplative, she remarks that that does not make sense at all. After all, why would publishing companies be able to make money from something that is free online? [[Ponytail]] tries to stop her from freaking out, so that her outrage does not inform others about the current arrangement and thus ruin the system. She uses the term "''jinx''", which in common usage means to affect negatively by speaking about, to imply that this system is one that could break down if discussed.

[[Ponytail]] expressing confusion about the continued existence of scientific journals previously happened in [[2025: Peer Review]].

The title text refers to another project that is invaluable for internet research, the {{w|Internet Archive}} ([https://archive.org link to it here]). Internet Archive is a public archive of information, including public domain books and music. Internet Archive runs the {{w|Wayback Machine}}, an archive of backups of web pages all over the Web at various times that can be used to see past versions of a page, even if that site has since shut down. Internet Archive accepts submissions of any type of information, including new backups of web pages and newly-made public domain content. The title text argues that these two projects are so useful, yet make so little economic sense, that, if they did not exist, we would dismiss them as ideas that would never be viable. In addition, as "arXiv" is intended to be pronounced the same as "archive", both sites have URLs with a common pronunciation.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Ponytail are standing together. Megan is talking to Ponytail.]
:Megan: Wait, all the papers in your field are posted as free PDFs on arXiv? That must be killing big science journals, since they charge such huge subscription/publication fees.

:[Ponytail responds with her arms wide, palms up.]
:Ponytail: Nah, we’ve been doing it since the 90s and nobody seems to care.

:[Megan contemplates, speechless.]

:[Megan slightly raises her arms and Ponytail puts up a hand to shush her.]
:Megan: That makes no sense at all!!
:Ponytail: ''Shhh, you’ll jinx it!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category: Research Papers]]

2102: Internet Archive

2022-05-04T01:15:34Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 232947 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2102
| date = January 23, 2019
| title = Internet Archive
| image = internet_archive.png
| titletext = The fact that things like the npm left-pad incident are so rare is oddly reassuring.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Internet Archive}} is a project that is invaluable for internet research. It is a public archive of information, including public domain books and music. It also runs the {{w|Wayback Machine}}, an archive of backups of web pages all over the Web at various times that can be used to see past versions of a page, even if that site has since shut down. The Internet Archive accepts submissions of any type of information, including new backups of web pages and newly-made public domain content.

Ponytail and Cueball first remark upon how weird the concept of the Internet Archive is, commenting that it would seem like an implausible concept if not for the fact that it already existed.

This revisits a point that Randall made in [[2085: arXiv]]: in the title text for that comic, he wrote,

:''Both arXiv and archive.org are invaluable projects which, if they didn't exist, we would dismiss as obviously ridiculous and unworkable.''

Our culture has an overarching theme of equating profit with success, so when efforts succeed due to inherent public benefit, this can often yield surprise.

They then become more philosophical, and wonder about invaluable systems that are maintained by a just a few individuals, meaning that they could disappear if any of those people stopped doing what they were doing. They relate this to the function of the {{w|human body}}, which does contain many {{w|List of systems of the human body|systems}} whose function and inner workings are unknown to the average person.

Again, as in [[2085: arXiv]], the two try not to "jinx things" by drawing attention to the improbability of this system working perfectly. In arXiv, when Megan exclaims that being able to post research papers as free PDFs on arXiv "makes no sense at all", Ponytail responds, ''"Shhh, you'll jinx it!"'' Here, Cueball tells Ponytail, "Probably best not to think about it." This is ironic as the inclusion of this information in a popular comic like xkcd is drawing attention to it.

As an example of "invaluable systems maintained by just a few individuals", the title text refers to the "[https://blog.npmjs.org/post/141577284765/kik-left-pad-and-npm npm left-pad incident]", a 2016 incident where a package for the {{w|npm (software)|npm}} package manager was removed from the software library by its author. As this particular package was used by many projects, both directly and indirectly, this caused a severe disruption in the software world. Randall is relieved that cases like this do not occur more frequently. This topic appears to stay on his mind for a while, since [[2347: Dependency]] covers a similar theme.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail and Cueball are walking to the right.]
:Ponytail: The Internet Archive is so weird. If it didn't exist, it would sound totally implausible.
:Cueball: ''Seriously.''

:[Ponytail and Cueball continue walking to the right.]
:Cueball: Do you ever worry about how reliant we are on systems that someone happens to maintain for some reason but which could disappear at any time?

:[Ponytail and Cueball are seen in silhouette from a distance.]
:Ponytail: Yeah - the same thing freaks me out about having a body.
:Cueball: I know, right?? I don't even know what half these parts ''do''!
:Ponytail: And yet if they stop, we die!
:Cueball: Probably best not to think about it.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Internet]]

403: Convincing Pickup Line

2022-05-04T01:14:58Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 233376 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 403
| date = March 31, 2008
| title = Convincing Pickup Line
| image = convincing pickup line.png
| titletext = Check it out; I've had sex with someone who's had sex with someone who's written a paper with Paul Erdős!
}}

==Explanation==
A {{w|graph (mathematics)|graph}} is a mathematical object consisting of '''nodes''' connected by lines called '''edges'''. The nodes could represent for example people, and the edges could represent a connection from having slept together. Now, Megan has such a graph. Arguably, a {{w|symmetric graph|graph that is symmetric}} is nicer than a regular one, which is why Megan suggests that they should sleep together.

The title text is a small-world joke on the concept of an {{w|Erdős number}}. {{w|Paul Erdős}} was a Hungarian mathematician renowned for his eccentricity and productivity. He holds the world record for the number of published math papers, as well as for the number of collaborative papers. A person's Erdős number is the "collaborative distance" between the person and Erdős. Paul Erdős's Erdős number is 0 by definition. All of his 511 collaborators have the Erdős number of 1; anyone (excluding Erdős) who has collaborated on a mathematical or scientific paper with any of those collaborators has an Erdős number of 2, and so on. Thus, if you have written a paper with someone who's written a paper with someone who's written a paper with Paul Erdős, your Erdős number is 3. If you know a mathematician or are a mathematician, you can calculate their or your Erdős number [http://www.ams.org/mathscinet/collaborationDistance.html here].

This may also be a reference to Chapter 4 of {{w|Candide}}, wherein Pangloss tells the protagonist of the genealogy of his syphilis. He received the disease from Paquette, who acquired it from a {{w|Franciscans|Franciscan}}, as so on until the lineage starts with one of the adventurers of {{w|Christopher Columbus}}.

In [[599: Apocalypse]], Cueball actually manages to write a paper with zombie Erdős, thus having a Erdős number of 1.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan sit at a small table in a cafe. Megan holds up a graph.]
:Megan: We're a terrible match. But if we sleep together, it'll make the local hookup network a symmetric graph.
:Cueball: I can't argue with that.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Sex]]

949: File Transfer

2022-05-04T01:14:23Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 234860 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 949
| date = September 9, 2011
| title = File Transfer
| image = file_transfer.png
| titletext = Every time you email a file to yourself so you can pull it up on your friend's laptop, Tim Berners-Lee sheds a single tear.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is trying to help two people, his friend and his friend's cousin, exchange a 25 MB file. Most people know how to use email to send files through the internet, but (as of 2011 when this comic was published) 25 MB exceeds the attachment size limit of most email services. The reason there is a limit is because every email has to be transferred between several mail transfer agents, and each one has to temporarily store a copy of the email. Space constraints on those mail servers means that they must impose size limits, and an email with such a large attachment will therefore not be delivered.

The next option is to upload the file to an FTP server (FTP stands for {{w|File Transfer Protocol}}, as opposed to HTTP, {{w|Hypertext Transfer Protocol}}), used to transfer files between computers on a shared network, such as the internet. However, FTP servers are a touch more esoteric than a mere email attachment, and many internet users don't have access to one of their own.

Web hosting is simply the ability to create a website and store all the data for said website on a server which is connected to the internet. If Cueball's friend's cousin had the ability to do that, sharing the file would be as easy as putting a copy of it in an accessible directory and sending the link to the desired recipient.

{{w|Megaupload}} was one of many sites on the Internet that recognized most users' inability to host large files on their own, and so offers to host large files, sometimes for free, sometimes for a small fee. The payoff is that in order to make such a service profitable, many of these sites are cluttered with banner and pop up ads in a mad effort to squeeze as much ad revenue out of every page view as possible. It's not a dealbreaker for some, but Cueball seems to think it'll be too much for his friend's cousin to handle.

{{w|AOL Instant Messenger|AIM}} Direct Connect was a file sharing system on AOL Instant Messenger, which was already suffering severe drops in popularity by the year 2000. Clearly, Cueball is grasping at straws here: anybody desperate enough to invoke the name of AOL as a solution instead of a problem must be at their wits' end.

{{w|Dropbox (service)|Dropbox}} is a program with a web-based GUI that automates file sharing between two computers on the internet. But this solution also has its issues, as it requires that at least the sending party has a Dropbox account. Installing Dropbox software is not actually required, since Dropbox also provides a web interface for uploading and downloading files. At the time of the comic's publication, Dropbox was still relatively new and unknown, thus why it is not Cueball's first suggestion.

While Cueball is still explaining Dropbox, the friend's cousin has copied the file to a USB drive and physically transported it to the friend's house, circumventing the Internet entirely. It's not an elegant solution, but sometimes traditional methods are the most efficient ways to get something done.

When used to transfer files between computers in the same room or building, this same approach is referred to as {{w|sneakernet}}. This comic is also an illustration of what {{w|Andy Tanenbaum}} said in 1989: ''Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.'' Sneakernet was examined in this [https://what-if.xkcd.com/31/ What If] article.

{{w|Tim Berners-Lee}} developed the http protocol, the html markup language and the first web browser. Therefore he is considered to be the inventor of the World Wide Web. He envisioned originally an interactive web, where it would have been possible for the users to change a website directly using the browser, which would have made it possible to upload a file directly to a webpage:

:<q>Tim Berners-Lee's original vision of the Web involved a medium for both reading and writing. In fact, Berners-Lee's first web browser, called WorldWideWeb, could both view and edit web pages</q> (from Wikipedia [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=WebDAV&oldid=1006182171 WebDAV]).

In contrast to this, a static web ("web 1.0") came alive, which developed then later to the interactive "web 2.0" we know today. Wikis like [[Main Page| this website]], where the page content is editable via forms, are a perfect example for this "emulated interactivity". From the technical point of view, the webpage is still static and the browser is just a viewer for html pages with the limited possibility to send some form data to the server. Scripts on the server, which process this form data, change then the web page. This mechanism is a more complicated work-around for what Tim Berners-Lee originally planned.
Dropbox and the web interfaces of email providers are further examples of this "emulated interactivity". The title text assumes, that Tim Berners-Lee feels probably generally sad, that his invention developed into this unnecessary complicated way and misusing emails (maybe even via the web interface of email providers) for file sharing is therefore especially painful for what could have been so simple.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands near a computer, talking on the phone to another person.]

:Cueball: You want your cousin to send you a file? easy. He can email it to- ...Oh, it's 25 MB? Hmm...
:Cueball: Do either of you have an FTP server? No, right.
:Cueball: If you had web hosting, you could upload it...
:Cueball: Hm. We could try one of those MegaShareUpload sites, but they're flaky and full of delays and porn popups.
:Cueball: How about AIM Direct Connect? Anyone still use that?
:Cueball: Oh, wait, Dropbox! It's this recent startup from a few years back that syncs folders between computers. You just need to make an account, install the-
:Cueball: Oh, he just drove over to your house with a USB drive?
:Cueball: Uh, cool, that works too.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I like how we've had the internet for decades, yet "sending files" is something early adopters are still figuring out how to do.

==Trivia==
This comic has a resemblance to both [[1810: Chat Systems]] and [[2194: How to Send a File]]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Email]]

2571: Hydraulic Analogy

2022-05-04T01:14:01Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 234789 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2571
| date = January 21, 2022
| title = Hydraulic Analogy
| image = hydraulic_analogy.png
| titletext = Current (water) running through the water (wires) causes it to boil, increasing the pressure (voltage), but resisting (impeding) the flow of hydroelectricity (water currents). This is the basis for Ohm's law.
}}
*This was the sixth comic to come out after the [[Countdown in header text]] started.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a LIQUITRICITY DEVICE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Electric flow is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lvp_a_JkD2o commonly represented] by a "{{w|hydraulic analogy}}". In this analogy, the water pressure represents {{w|voltage}} and the flow of the water is the {{w|electric current|current}}. {{w|Electric resistance}} is represented by a constricted section of a pipe.

[[Miss Lenhart]] is teaching a class and starts to explain this analogy when [[Cueball]] suddenly has an idea and changes her diagrams - connecting the electrical diagram and the hydraulic diagram. In doing this, he has envisioned what comes to be called a "liquitricity device", combining liquid water and electric current flows together and given a suitably {{w|portmanteau}} title.

The last panel shows that Miss Lenhart and Cueball eventually receive the {{w|Nobel Prize}}, presumably the {{w|Nobel Prize in Physics}}, for the design ''and construction'' of the device - indicating that rather than being purely theoretical it has actually been practical to make this device.

The title text 'explains' how this device works and references {{w|Ohm's Law}}, one of the fundamental laws of electricity, but strangely seems as much an incomprehensible mix of the two as the diagram in explaining whatever form of {{w|Wave–particle duality|possible duality}} it actually employs.

One of the featured [[:Category:Footer comics|Footer comics]], [[730: Circuit Diagram]], displays a ''very complex'' circuit diagram. Although no pump or direct water flow can be found here, it all ends up in a beaker with holy water. And there is a symbol labeled 3 liters, at the bottom close to the beaker. This is the symbol for an orifice or flow restriction used on plumbing or hydraulic diagrams. So [[Randall]] already mixed water flow and circuit diagrams over 10 years ago.

==Transcript==
:[Miss Lenhart stands next to a white board with two diagrams while pointing to the first. While she is explaining Cueball interrupts her from off-panel as seen by his voice coming from the right side out of a starburst on the panels edge. The diagrams are a schematic circuit diagram and a water flow diagram. There is a battery (with labels on top and bottom) on the left and a resistor on the right of the circuit as well as labels on each of these and one at the top part of the wire. There is a pump to the left and a tighter section of the pipe to the right, as well as labels on these and on the top part of the pipe. At the bottom there is two arrow pointing in towards the pipe, this also has a label.]
:Miss Lenhart: Electric current is like water flowing in a pipe. The pressure represents-
:Cueball [off-panel]: Wait, hold on.
:Labels on circuit: + - V I R
:Labels on flow diagram: Pump F R D

:[The view changes so Miss Lenhart and the white board are seen from the side. She still stands next to the white board, arms now down, as Cueball approaches the board with a marker held in one hand. The diagrams can still be seen, but distorted from being viewed from the side, and no labels are readable.]
:Cueball: Do you mind if I just...

:[Zoom in on Cueball, who is drawing on the white board, which is the left edge of the panel, i.e. not visible in the panel. Noises from the marker drawing on the board comes up from the tip of the marker pen. The movement of the pen is indicated with small lines on either side.]
:''Scribble''
:''Scribble''
:''Scribble''

:[Miss Lenhart and Cueball, holding the marker pen down, stand on either side of the white board looking at Cueball's version with the merged diagram. He has connected the two, so instead of the wire going down after the resistor in the circuit diagram, it now is connected with water flowing to the right just below the resistor, and then up into the pump to the right of the resistor. At the bottom where the water pipe before bent up into the pump, the water now continues running to the left (the pipe was not drawn around it by Cueball), and it now flows where the bottom part of the wire, from the circuit, was before, turning up below the battery and connecting with it there. All the labels from before have been retained as follows.]
:Labels on diagram: + - V I R Pump F R D

:[Miss Lenhart and Cueball stand on a podium with a Cueball-like presenter. The presenter is holding two Nobel Prize medals up in his hands. He is holding them from the strings they are attached to, so the medals hang below his hands.]
:Presenter: And for the design and construction of the liquitricity device, the Nobel Prize goes to...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Nobel Prize]]
[[Category:Portmanteau]]

2600: Rejected Question Categories

2022-05-04T01:12:44Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 236206 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2600
| date = March 30, 2022
| title = Rejected Question Categories
| image = rejected_question_categories.png
| titletext = You can click to preorder to get a copy of What If? 2 when it comes out 9/13, assuming we all make it past the spider situation(?) on Tuesday(?).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HANGING ROCK OF MASS DESTRUCTION LAUNCHED AT A VOLCANO BY HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[Randall]] recently announced, in [[2575: What If? 2]], that he is publishing a new ''[[what if?]]'' book based on reader-submitted questions. This comic is another [[:Category:Book promotion|promotion]] of the book, and the entire comic is a link to his [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ what if? 2] page on xkcd.

This comic shows the [[#Question categories|categories of questions]] he claims to have received, but rejected to use in his book, giving an example question for each category. In typical xkcd fashion, these begin out by being plausible, although often unlikely to have been submitted as a ''what if?'' question, moving in to more and more absurd types of questions, especially with the last question, that appears to be a combination of all previous categories and is therefore marked "?????"

The title text refers to the launch date of the book September 13, rendered in the American style 9/13. This format can be confusing to non-Americans, although usually not when the date is larger than 12, since it would then appear to reference the 9th day of the 13th month. This "13th month" was, however, referenced in the first comic about the book: [[2575: What If? 2]]. See also Randall's take on the date format, {{w|ISO 8601}}, in [[1179: ISO 8601]].

Randall then continues the title text by referencing the second to last category with vague ominous questions. The example question here asks if there is need to worry about spiders after Tuesday. So Randall notes that the release date, 5.5 months after the release of this comic, is of course assuming anyone will survive past next Tuesday (2022-04-05).

Tuesday has been notably referenced in [[277: Long Light]], [[564: Crossbows]], [[1099: Tuesdays]] and most notably in [[1245: 10-Day Forecast]], where it seems that the last day ever will be a Tuesday. Tuesday is the second day of the week, and notably, the Tuesday of the week following the publication of this cartoon (April 5th, 2022) was the Day of the Spiders.

==Question categories==
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Category'''
|'''Question'''
|'''Explanation'''
|-
| People cheating on homework
| What if I made a pendulum by hanging a rock on a 2.75 meter string? What would its period be in seconds? (Show your work!)
| This appears to be a physics student trying to get out of doing their work by presenting the question for Randall to answer in ''What If'' (which is a common occurrence on question-and-answer sites such as Stack Overflow). Most school homework requires the student to "show their work", i.e. write out their process of solving the question. Making students show their work serves two purposes: it allows students to score partial credit on an incorrect answer if they show the right methodology and basic understanding even if they make a wrong turn along the way; it also prevents students from simply cheating by looking up the right answer without showing how they got that answer — the student including this caveat in their email is a giveaway as to their tactic (along with the boring nature of their inquiry).
|-
| Medical advice
| What if you got a scratch and the next day your hand looked like this [''📎 attachment'']? Should you see a doctor or what?
| Randall is not a physician, is not qualified to give medical advice, and will not answer medical questions. This was a problem on early Wikipedia which, for a time, required all articles covering medical topics to point to a {{w|WP:MEDICAL|Medical Disclaimer}}. This was also an issue covered in the 1st ''what if?'' book, under Weird and Worrying Questions from the Inbox, where a reader asks about the effects of a toxin on the excretory system. If your body is not behaving in the way you expect, consulting with a medical professional is, in general, a good idea.
|-
| Personal
| Why don't the squirrels in my yard like me???
| Randall has no way of knowing why the wildlife in a given area dislike a specific person, especially if this hints at a specific animosity/belligerence and not just general avoidance of humans as a perceived threat. These kind of questions are common on sites like reddit, and are usually covered by general explanation of animal behaviors unless the asker supplies more information in the comments. However, the choice of squirrels are likely not random since [[:Category:Squirrels|Squirrels]] are a recurring theme on xkcd and has often been [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Squirrels#Uses_in_other_xkcd_media: used in what if?] (sometimes as {{what if|105|placeholder}} for a potentially horrible image).
|-
| Spam
| Do you want to meet lonely singles in your area tonight?
| This is a common online popup advertisement and is generally considered undesirable. An unavoidable side effect of Randall having an email address published where the public can find it is that spammers have just as much access to it. Most people do not respond to spam emails, and Randall is no exception.
|-
| Phishing
| Have you recently been the victim of phishing? To check, log in to your account by clicking here.
| Again, because Randall's What-If email is publicly available, phishers have access to it and can probe the recipient for information. Randall is experienced enough to recognize a phishing attempt and ignore it. This type of phishing scam, in which the scammer requests your personal data for the purported purpose of checking if it has been "stolen" thereby "stealing" it himself, has become more common as people have become aware of phishing, and phishers have thus embraced the possibility of exploiting a new niche in the layers of naivete.
|-
| Requests for help with a crime
| Using modern science, what would be the fastest way to get through this bank vault door? [''📎'' blueprints]
| No, Randall is ''not'' going to help a criminal commit breaking and entering or robbery, thank you very much. A common problem with heist movies is that they show a believable{{Citation needed}} method for breaking in to a vault which people then try to replicate in real life. Such movies often portray an expert in some other field being "smart enough" to craft the plan, sometimes unwittingly.
|-
| Unanswerable
| Why am I me and not someone else
| There is a lot in this question that could be unpacked, and Randall doesn't want to touch on any of it.

At face value the question is asking about {{w|Philosophy of mind}}, a branch of philosophy with many questions that are unanswerable due to our own imperfect understanding of mind. The asker is inquiring as to what process is responsible for designating that their consciousness be tied to the body in which they currently reside, as opposed to another body presumed to have consciousness; furthermore, they likely wish to know the mechanics behind how this process works. There is as yet insufficient data for a meaningful answer.

It's also quite possible the asker is feeling melancholic and unsatisfied with their life. Randall doesn't feel qualified to try diagnosing or treating someone's existential depression.
|-
| Vague
| What is going to happen? (Be specific)
| Some humor is derived from the request for specificity in the question, which completely lacks any sort of specificity of its own.
|-
| Vague and ominous
| Will I have to start worrying about spiders after Tuesday?
| This implies some event that occurs on a (possibly next?) Tuesday. This event may relate to spiders in some way, and cause those who do not currently worry about spiders to do so. If you do not currently worry about spiders, this question does not give enough specifics for Randall to intelligently answer whether or not you should start.
Possibly a [[:Category:Red Spiders|red spiders]] reference. Could also be a reference to [[1688: Map Age Guide]] where some dangerous event involving spiders is set to happen in 2022.
|-
| ?????
| Hi, we're lonely singles in your area, and we're wondering what would happen if we shot a nuclear bomb into a volcano! Click here to log in and tell us ...
| If nothing else, this entry is clearly made up by Randall, as it appears to be a combination of as many prior categories as he has room for, specifically Spam, Phishing, and an already-answered question, before getting cut off by the bottom of the panel.

"Would it be possible to stop a volcano eruption by placing a bomb (thermobaric or nuclear) underneath the surface?" was a question featured in the first ''what if'' book. Randall answered with an emphatic "No!"
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In ''What If? 2'' (xkcd.com/whatif2), I answer ridiculous questions sent in by readers about everything from volcanoes to spaceships to soup.

Here are a few of the common types of question that I did ''not'' answer:

[In separate boxes for each category]

[In row 1:]

People cheating on homework: What if I made a pendulum by hanging a rock on a 2.75 meter string? What would its period be in seconds? (Show your work!)

Medical advice: What if you got a scratch and the next day your hand looks like this [''📎 attachment'']? Should you see a doctor or what?

Personal: Why don't the squirrels in my yard like me???

[In row 2:]

Spam: Do you want to meet lonely singles in your area tonight?

Phishing: Have you recently been the victim of phishing? To check, log in to your account by clicking here.

Requests for help with a crime: Using modern science, what would be the fastest way to get through this bank vault door? [''📎'' blueprints]

[In row 3:]

Unanswerable: Why am I me and not someone else

Vague: What is going to happen? (Be specific)

Vague+Ominous: Will I have to start worrying about spiders after Tuesday?

?????: Hi, we're lonely singles in your area, and we're wondering what would happen if we shot a nuclear bomb into a volcano! [partially cut off horizontally:] Click here to log in and tell us

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Book promotion]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Spiders]]
[[Category:Nuclear weapons]]

2601: Instructions

2022-05-04T01:12:08Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 236593 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2601
| date = April 1, 2022
| title = Instructions
| image = instructions.png
| imagesize = 500px
| titletext = Happy little turtles
}}
*To experience the interactivity of this comic, visit the {{xkcd|2601|original comic}}.
{{TOC}}
==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by the LOGO OF A HAPPY LITTLE TURTLE - now that the full comic has been completed, an explanation of that is necessary. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is the 12th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous April fools' comic was [[2445: Checkbox]], which was released on Thursday, April 1st, 2021.

When loading the comic just a small dot is shown, a {{w|radio button}} (or option button). Usually, there would be more than one to give the user options. Once it has been selected it cannot be deselected. Once pressed the [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/2/20/2601_Instructions_Radio_on.png button turns blue] and this starts the real part of this April fool's comic.

The comic consists of an [https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=0 audio file]. The speech is a mix of [[#Index of facts|facts about turtles]] and coding instructions in {{w|Logo_(programming_language)|LOGO}}. When executed, the instructions draw an xkcd comic. The audio file is 9 hours and 7 minutes long.

[[File:xkcd 2601 finished comic animation.gif|thumb|200px|200px|Click to view the animation of the code running to create the picture, sourced from the GitHub.]]
*See the [[#The Resulting Image|resulting comic]] below.
**And see how it is [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/0/05/xkcd_2601_finished_comic_animation.gif animated here].
**This has been compiled by [https://github.com/theinternetftw/xkcd2601#transcription-complete theinternetftw on Github].
*The transcript of the quotes (the non-code) can be found here [[2601: Instructions/Audio Transcript]].
*Images of the dynamic changes and other pictures relating to this comic can be found here [[2601: Instructions/Images]].

Once the voice begins to describe the instructions (hence the title) it is possible to mute the audio by pressing a [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/2/20/2601_Instructions_Radio_on.png muted button] at the bottom right of the screen. This fades into view when the radio button is pushed. Pressing it will change the button to a [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/7/78/2601_Instructions_Radio_on_muted.png non muted loudspeaker]. These were the same buttons that were in the previous April fool's comic [[2445: Checkbox]]. That was the first xkcd [[:Category:Comics with audio|comic with audio]], and thus these were two April fools' comics with audio in a row, and these are the only comics with audio. In the Checkbox comic, the mute buttons meaning are reversed, so the sound is on when the loudspeaker is shown and muted when the mute button is shown. It could be another layer to the April fool's joke or just an error by Randall.

The [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/e/e3/20220402201427%21instructions.png image originally displayed] on this page was of a small turtle crawling in the center where the radio button is in the real comic. That was the image that would be downloaded by web crawlers like explain xkcd's bot, as it is what was placed here on xkcd: https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/instructions_2x.png. This is of course not the real comic, which cannot be downloaded in that manner.

The "turtle" is a key concept in Logo, a programming language especially designed to teach programming to children in an easy way. The turtle in the logo is the cursor. Programming commands move the turtle, drawing a line as it goes. Of course, listening to hours of instructions, including the speech-synthesized reading of source code, is not an easy way to code or draw a picture.{{cn}}

In addition, at [https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=32817 the end of the audio] the voice says:
<blockquote>
"I even talk to turtles at times, but you need to understand LOGO to appreciate the great, great things that have been created. We spend so much of our life typing, looking, but never ever seeing."
</blockquote>

The title text alludes to {{w|Bob Ross}}'s catchphrase "happy little trees" in ''{{w|The Joy of Painting}}'', a PBS TV show in which Ross leads the viewer through the painting of a nature scene. The audio file itself is also presented in the style of ''The Joy of Painting''; it begins with greeting the viewer and introducing the color palette to be used (just one color, in this case, as Logo and all computer monitors of the time were monochrome). The speaker then reads out some helper functions to be used in programming the scene, which is more analogous to Ross's palette of paints (titanium white, carmine red, etc.) along with words of encouragement as each is completed. The functions are DIST, to calculate the {{w|Euclidean distance}} between two points, LERP, to perform {{w|linear interpolation}}, MIX to average two numbers (with LERP), and CUBIC to draw {{w|cubic Hermite spline}}s. From there, the speaker alternates between sketching parts of the scene and offering more words of encouragement, mixed in with turtle facts.

Transcribing the audio into text was organized as a [https://github.com/theinternetftw/xkcd2601 project on github].

This is not the first time that Randall made an interactive comic where turtles played a big part, see [[1416: Pixels]]. In this, he jokes with the idea of turtles all the way down, which is [https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10403 also mentioned] in the audio file. He also made a comic simply called [[889: Turtles]].

===Unique header text===
This comic has a [[xkcd_Header_text#Unique_header_text|unique header text]], see [[xkcd_Header_text#Instructions|the details here]]. The header is:
:"Today's comic was created with [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/chromakode @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/xDirtyPunkx Conor], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin]."
The header had not changed [[xkcd_Header_text#2022-01-31_-_What_if.3F_2|since the promotion]] of the new ''what if? 2'' book.

==Trivia==
*If you have scripts disabled, you will just see a picture of a [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/e/e3/20220402201427%21instructions.png little turtle] which is not interactive.

*The Tree being atop a turtle in the finished comic (as well as the general turtle theme) could be a reference to the programming phrase "it's [[1416: Pixels|turtles all the way down]]", which is used to describe infinite recursion. A world atop a turtle (albeit with elephants between) is also a Discworld reference, derived by [[1498: Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]] from the same mythic roots, and something Randall is known to have [[1052: Every Major's Terrible|occasionally]] [[625: Collections|referenced]].

==Transcript==
:[The comic consists of one radio button, a small circle in the center of a large white panel. It is interactive. When pressing the radio button (selecting it), it turns blue. The second the radio button is pressed a more than 9-hour long audio file of coding instructions begins to play, and a mute button appears in the bottom right corner. It fades slowly into full opacity. Pressing this button will change it to a loudspeaker. It toggles whether there is sound playing or not. It is not possible to shut down the audio by pressing the radio button. Once selected it cannot be deselected as there is only this one option.]

:[Covered by the radio button is an image of a turtle crawling from left to right, with a dotted line trailing behind it, indicating its movement. This image can only be seen by looking in the place where images for xkcd are usually placed on xkcd.]

:'''[To read a transcript of the audio file go here: [[2601: Instructions/Audio Transcript]].]'''

==The Resulting Image==
[[File:xkcd 2601 finished picture.png|800px]]

===Explanation of the image===

The image drawn by the Logo program is a depiction of {{w|Bob Ross}} standing in front of a canvas, on which he has painted "a happy little tree, holding up a happy little world". However, unlike his usual "happy little trees", the tree depicted is not a small pine, but rather a gargantuan {{w|World Tree}} growing from the back of a giant {{w|World Turtle}}, on which a {{w|Flat Earth}} rests. (The "happy little world" does bear several small pines more typical of his style.)

Near the middle of the world, a Cueball sits while listening to the radio, perhaps tuning in to the same transmission that generated the image. Closer to the reader, a turtle is shown walking around, leaving dotted-line tracks behind it, suggestive of the Logo turtle. The dotted-line tracks spell out "TY", shorthand for "thank you".

At the far left of the image, a robot and human are drawn next to a turtle which has flipped onto its back. The robot declares, "Poor thing!" while the human says "I'll help". This is a reference to the "empathy tests" employed to distinguish humans from androids in ''{{w|Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?}}'' and its film adaptation ''{{w|Blade Runner}}''. As part of the test, the listener is asked to imagine being in the desert, flipping a tortoise onto its back, and refusing to turn it back over, while their eyes are monitored for signs of emotional response (or lack thereof). In this case, the robot expresses sympathy for the turtle and the human declares that he will turn it back over. (Although the robot is very clearly distinguishable from a human being.)

===Transcript of the image===
:[A man with large hair and a beard is holding an artist's palette with five patches of paint in one hand and a paintbrush in the other. He looks upon his canvas, where he has painted a large painting.]
:Painter: A Happy little tree
:Painter: Holding up a happy little world.

:[The painting contains lots of stuff. Among others, is a robot that sees Cueball bending down to lift a turtle that is on its back. They talk:]
:Robot: Poor thing"
:Cueball: I'll help

:[In the top right corner, there is a dotted line forming a semi-circle around the corner. Inside this are the words:]
:Vacuum decay

:[There are no other words in the image. The image includes:]
In the sky:
* Mars, including:
** A Mars rover (appears to be Curiosity or Perseverance), which is examining a turtle
** A small rover (appears to be Sojourner)
* The JWST (James Webb Space Telescope)
* The ISS transiting the sun
* A TIE fighter
* Saturn
* A small planet with a man and a flower (''Le Petit Prince'' by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)
* A moon of Saturn, with both Cueball and a tiny turtle
* A constellation in the shape of a turtle
* A constellation in the shape of a kite (or a tetrahedron)
* A constellation that appears to be the little dipper (Ursa Minor) stacked inside the big dipper (Ursa Major), resembling a [[:wikipedia:lemon squeezer|lemon squeezer]], next to an object that appears to be half a lemon.
* Cueball playing tennis with incoming meteors
* A rocket
* Birds

On top of the tree:
* Cueball listening to a radio
* Ponytail holding a balloon
* Megan looking over the edge
* A turtle who may have walked a path in the shape of the letters "T" and "Y"
* A squirrel
* A rabbit
* Two happy little trees
* Mountains in the background, one of which seems to have a gigantic Egg on its top and stairs leading to it, which is likely a reference to the video game {{w|The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening}}.

Under the tree:
* Beret guy looking out of a window in the tree
* Blondie standing at the base of the tree
* Ponytail in a balloon, throwing out an anchor
* A helicopter with a stegosaurus tail (Thagomizer)
* Glass ball ornaments hanging from the tree

:[The rest just needs to be written out in detail...]

==Index of facts==
{| class="wikitable"
|Merriam-Webster defines a turtle as a noun.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=569
|-
|Here are some interesting notes from interesting facts about turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=962
|-
|Over a great many years, I have taken a great interest in the land turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=973
|-
|One of the interesting points about turtles is their great variety of foods.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=1415
|-
|in the pen and in five minutes it is surrounded by the turtles,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=1976
|-
|when I found one of the large turtles had caught and disemboweled, the very large toad,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=2648
|-
|I have seen turtles eating at 11:00 at night
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=2655
|-
|the youngest of turtles I have ever had seems to take to the same food as the adults
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=3506
|-
|I made friends with a turtle yesterday and he gave me his phone number.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=4283
|-
|Running away is slow as compared to this turtle propulsion.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=4522
|-
|Occasionally one can see a turtle dragging another one along
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5370
|-
|I have never known a land turtle to bite
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5382
|-
|Some people have turtles in their cellars believing that they catch rats and mice.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5853
|-
|I believe that these turtles died because they were exhausted
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5879
|-
|and mice might be kept away by the noise made by the turtle making its endless
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6151
|-
|But doubt whether a turtle could catch a rat or a mouse
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6158
|-
|In this, the turtles would enjoy themselves
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6437
|-
|How about some interesting things in 10 facts about marine turtles from the WWF UK.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6622
|-
|There are seven species of marine turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6628
|-
|Marine turtles were around more than 100
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6632
|-
|These days, scientists recognize seven species of marine turtle,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6638
|-
|turtles do not have teeth.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6890
|-
|Turtle shells are made of over 50 bones fused together.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7064
|-
|The first few years of a marine turtle's life are known as the lost years.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7352
|-
|Marine turtle species vary greatly in size.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7654
|-
|Wales holds the world record for the largest marine turtle ever found
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7675
|-
|1000 marine turtle hatchlings make it to adulthood.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=8216
|-
|turtles seem to prefer red, orange, and yellow food.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10106
|-
|I'm beginning to suspect it's turtles all the way down
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10403
|-
|marine turtles can migrate incredibly long distances.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10623
|-
|Marine turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=11365
|-
|move the turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=11788
|-
|Here are some more interesting bits from interesting facts about turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=11913
|-
|several occasions with the turtle still in c.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=12612
|-
|there is an artist in the bottom of everybody
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=12934
|-
|The number laid by a turtle varies
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=15403
|-
|I have also observed one turtle laying its eggs
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=15411
|-
|I had the pleasure of seeing six little baby turtles come out
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16167
|-
|The turtle commenced to dig at six p.m.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16753
|-
|Five days later a second turtle dug these eggs out arid,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16760
|-
|personally. I do not believe that the turtle digging out.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16768
|-
|turtles a year factoid. Actually just statistical error,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16972
|-
|average person paints zero turtles per year
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16976
|-
|turtles. Georg who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 each day
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16980
|-
|The young turtles when they make their emergence at the end of three months,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17234
|-
|Do you know what A sea turtle's favorite sandwiches?
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17526
|-
|Just ask the next sea turtle you meet.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17536
|-
|Here are some interesting observations from odd facts about turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17639
|-
|It has been said that the turtle,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17647
|-
|In many ways. The turtle is one or the strangest of living things,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17943
|-
|But the turtle in all his varieties in all his ways is a most mysterious animal.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17961
|-
|Your turtle is neither fish, flesh nor fowl.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17979
|-
|a little turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=18667
|-
|there is none so tenacious of life as the turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=18986
|-
|Leave the turtle apparently undisturbed
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=18992
|-
|Just as soon as a baby turtle emerges from the egg off he scuttles down to the sea.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19273
|-
|The young turtle feeds unmolested while his armor undergoes the hardening process
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19306
|-
|whatever the young sea turtle eats and wherever he eats it
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19628
|-
|the turtle is free from all danger
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19915
|-
|interferes with the turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19924
|-
|Cool facts about turtles from Deutsche Welle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20499
|-
|There is a reason why turtles look a little prehistoric.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20506
|-
|Luckily for the turtles, they're burrowing and water-dwelling habits.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20527
|-
|While a turtle's lifespan largely depends on the species,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20926
|-
|A typical pet turtle can make it to anywhere between 10 and 80 years.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20935
|-
|Researchers think some turtles could even be hundreds of years old.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20949
|-
|There are currently 356 known species of turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=21629
|-
|There are sea turtles, leatherback turtles, snapping turtles,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=21642
|-
|pond turtles, soft-shelled turtles, and of course tortoises,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=21646
|-
|Not all turtles or tortoises
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22175
|-
|but all tortoises or turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22177
|-
|technically all tortoises are in fact turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22181
|-
|But the main difference between turtles and
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22192
|-
|while most turtles live in or near water
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22198
|-
|Some turtles are vegetarians
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22405
|-
|Most turtles are actually omnivores but a few species
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22409
|-
|Not to the fearsome-looking alligator turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22421
|-
|Even water-dwelling turtles will dig their nests
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22805
|-
|No species of turtle sticks around to raise their young.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22814
|-
|A turtle's gender is determined by temperature
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23005
|-
|A turtle's gender is determined after fertilization.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23010
|-
|If the turtles eggs incubate below 27.7 degrees Celsius,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23015
|-
|turtles tend to give birth to more females
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23037
|-
|Sea turtles are known for their amazing ability to return
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23182
|-
|turtles can navigate their way at sea by
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23190
|-
|turtles have strong underwater eyesight.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23618
|-
|Although sea turtles are famous for their internal GPS
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23629
|-
|Six out of seven turtle species are classified as
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23919
|-
|How about some interesting facts from turtle facts by Alina Bradford.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24214
|-
|turtles are reptiles with hard shells that protect them from predators.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24221
|-
|Turtles live all over the world in almost every type of climate
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24233
|-
|the turtle order
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24479
|-
|turtle,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24874
|-
|turtles spend most of their lives in water.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25251
|-
|Sea turtles rarely leave the ocean except to lay eggs in the sand.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25260
|-
|Freshwater turtles live in ponds and lakes
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25266
|-
|With so many different types of turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25760
|-
|The largest sea turtle species is the leatherback turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25765
|-
|The largest freshwater turtle in North America is the alligator snapping turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25788
|-
|The Yangtze giant softshell turtle is the largest softshell turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25799
|-
|A turtle's shell is a modified rib cage and part of its vertebral column
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26177
|-
|All the thoughts of a turtle are turtles and of a rabbit rabbits.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26401
|-
|So let's try to think like a turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26406
|-
|Many turtles are able to retract their heads and feet into their shells,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26450
|-
|turtles are placed in the two sub-orders based on the method of retraction.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26455
|-
|Sea turtles have lost the ability to retract their heads
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26472
|-
|turtles are very adaptive and can be found on every continent except Antarctica.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26676
|-
|Most turtle species are found in southeastern North America and South Asia.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26681
|-
|sea turtles can be found in the coral triangle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26844
|-
|what do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26976
|-
|a turtleneck
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26981
|-
|The African helmeted turtle is the most common turtle in Africa,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27157
|-
|roti island. Snake-necked turtles are found only on Rhode island.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27221
|-
|turtles are not social creatures
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27393
|-
|while they typically don't mind if there are other turtles around them,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27396
|-
|Most turtles are active during the day,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27405
|-
|turtles are not silent creatures.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27537
|-
|Most turtles are omnivores.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27961
|-
|musk turtles eat mollusks,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27968
|-
|The cooter turtle is mostly vegetarian
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27973
|-
|and the green sea turtle only eats grasses and algae.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27976
|-
|The alligator snapping turtle lures in fish with its tongue
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28293
|-
|crayfish and other turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28313
|-
|All turtles lay eggs.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28483
|-
|No species of turtle nurtures their young
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28493
|-
|turtles reach the age to mate at different times.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28762
|-
|Male and female turtles intertwined their tails so
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29117
|-
|sea turtles travel from the ocean to lay eggs on beaches.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29387
|-
|sea turtles lay around 110 eggs in a nest
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29392
|-
|Though the flatback turtle only lays 50 at a time
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29396
|-
|the temperature of the sand affects the sex of the turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29661
|-
|Too many sea turtle females are being born
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29673
|-
|according to the sea turtle. Conservancy
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29679
|-
|Many turtle species are listed as threatened,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29984
|-
|I even talked to turtles at times
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=32815
|}
===Sources===
* Merriam-Webster, "Turtle" https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/turtle
* Forest And Stream, January 1916, p. 764: "Interesting Facts About Turtles"—"A Little Nature Study by a Scientist that will Interest Old and Young Naturalists Alike"—"By Randle C. Rosenberger M.D., Professor of Hygiene and Bacteriology, Jefferson Medical College, Philadelphia, Pa." https://www.biodiversitylibrary.org/item/281932#page/8/mode/1up
* "Top 10 Facts About Marine Turtles", https://www.wwf.org.uk/learn/fascinating-facts/marine-turtles
* "Odd facts about turtles", Christian observer, May 11th, 1919
* "World Turtle Day: 10 cool facts about turtles" from Deutsche Welle, 22 May 2020, by Ineke Mules https://www.dw.com/en/turtles-tortoises-difference-facts/g-53260454
* "Turtle Facts" by Alina Bradford, published October 02, 2015, https://www.livescience.com/52361-turtle-facts.html

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics with animation]] 
[[Category:Comics with color]] 
[[Category:Comics with audio]]
[[Category:Animals]]

2605: Taylor Series

2022-05-04T01:11:33Z

172.70.34.17: Undo revision 236523 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2605
| date = April 11, 2022
| title = Taylor Series
| image = taylor_series.png
| titletext = The Taylor series should have been canceled after the first term.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE MACLAURIN SERIES EVALUATED AT X PLUS EPSILON - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In mathematics, a {{w|Taylor series}} {{w|Polynomial expansion|expansion}} is a {{w|polynomial}} {{w|power series}} approximation of a function[https://matheducators.stackexchange.com/a/10212] around a given point, composed of an infinite sum of the function's {{w|Derivative|derivatives}}, each both divided by successive {{w|Factorial|factorials}} and multiplied by the incrementally increasing {{w|Exponentiation|power}} of the distance from the given point. Such expansions usually continue without end. Beyond approximation of functions, Taylor series are also useful for deriving numerical approximations of {{w|Irrational number|irrational}} values, {{w|Machin-like formula|such as π}}, as well as {{w|Symbolic integration|symbolic}} forms to make functions easier to integrate or otherwise manipulate with calculus.[https://www.mathsisfun.com/algebra/taylor-series.html] However, because they involve difficult calculus operations, and can be annoyingly tedious to {{w|Numerical analysis|calculate by hand}}, they are often not loved by math students.[https://www.reddit.com/r/EngineeringStudents/comments/gbo8tm/taylor_series_can_fuck_off/]

[[Miss Lenhart]] appears to be teaching a class about how to use a Taylor series. She presumes her students want to keep learning about the series, in that they, "wish it would never end." She then says "Good news!" because the series does not end. The cartoon's humor is based on the contrast between wishing the series won't end, ordinarily desired of sequences of enjoyable events, and the infinite nature of the Taylor series, which is less likely appreciated by her students struggling to understand why the sums {{w|Convergent series|converge}} to their resulting value.

The title text is a reference to the common practice among physicists and engineers of abbreviating the Taylor series to only the first few terms, typically one or two, in order to simplify the mathematics of their models. The title text is also a pun on the use of the word "series" to refer to a television program. It symbolizes the terms of the mathematical series as a {{w|metaphor}} with a television season, suggesting that only the first term is useful. It makes fun of the common sentiment against bad {{w|screenwriting}} of a series by saying that, "The series should have been cancelled after the first season," replacing "season" with "term." (Notably, both "term" and "season" are used to refer to a stretch of time during which a program is airing—generally, a television or scholastic program, respectively.) Also note that US President {{w|Zachary Taylor}} died during his first term. In a way, his presidency was cancelled during his first term.

==Transcript==

:[Miss Lenhart pointing a stick at a whiteboard, which has some scribbled text written on it and one line is circled.]
:Miss Lenhart: At this point, you're probably thinking, "I love this equation and wish it would never end!"
:Miss Lenhart: Well, good news!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Taylor series expansion is the worst.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Math]]