explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2290: Homemade Masks

2020-04-07T09:17:59Z

173.245.54.63:

{{comic
| number = 2290
| date = April 7, 2020
| title = Homemade Masks
| image = homemade_masks.png
| titletext = I'm going to change the sign so the pole is horizontal and the sign is mounted on the front like a plunger, so I can carry it around like a lance to gently push people back if they try to approach.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HOMEMADE MASK. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is the 15th comic in a series of comics about the 2019-20 outbreak of COVID-19.

In this comic, Cueball wonders if Megan's mask will be of any use, because he has seen many different points of view and is unsure which one is correct.

Megan then reveals that she only wants to deter people from being close to her, and that her previous method (that being a sign with small writing) was ineffective. Megan does not indicate if she knows whether or not her mask can actually block infection, but it is beneficial to her regardless.

The title text indicates an alternate method, where Megan could change the sign into a device for pushing people back in order to maintain distance.

Cueball has previously encountered signs that are so interesting that they lead people into peril in [[356: Nerd Sniping]], although in that comic strip, [[Black Hat]] was specifically designing his signs with the intent to cause harm.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[Cueball stands at a distance from Megan, who is wearing a face mask]
:Cueball: Homemade mask, huh? You think they help?
:Cueball: I've read so many conflicting things.
[Megan is seen wearing no mask but carrying a sign, with 2 people around her. We can't read what's on the sign. Masked Megan explains]
:Megan: Well, what I was doing before was carrying around a big sign that said "There's a pandemic so please give me space because I don't want to get sick or make anyone else sick!"
[Same as first panel]
:Megan: The problem was, I had to write small to fit, so people kept walking closer to read it.
:Cueball: Oops.
:Megan: Yeah, the mask gets it across better.

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:1904: Research Risks

2020-03-16T07:12:07Z

173.245.54.63:

Entymology? Misspelled "entomology" or (more confusingly) "etymology"?
Psychology lower risk than micology? Absolutely hogwash!
:The comic has been updated, so it was just a typo. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.35|141.101.99.35]] 16:05, 18 October 2017 (UTC)
:How do I update picture. Last update always matches first upload for whatever reason --[[User:Trimutius|Trimutius]] ([[User talk:Trimutius|talk]]) 17:24, 18 October 2017 (UTC)

Molasses storage is misplaced -- should be in the quadrant to its right. See [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Molasses_Flood]. 21 dead and 150 injured. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.52|108.162.219.52]] 14:12, 18 October 2017 (UTC)

Agreed that it did get out and kill people. But only once in something like 200 years and only a few. (Is this where the phrase slower than molasses in January comes from?)
I would not expect that this would be a common danger. (unsigned)

Ah, but there was another [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honolulu_molasses_spill|spill in 2013 in Honolulu]. (I just learned of it from the "See Also" section of the Wikipedia page on the Great Molasses Flood.) That one didn't kill any people (though it was an ecological disaster) but it speaks to risk. Anyway, the item ''is'' in the right quadrant. Arguably is should be further to the right, but also arguably not, since conducting experiments in the area could lead to more accidents.[[User:Jqavins|Jqavins]] ([[User talk:Jqavins|talk]]) 16:08, 18 October 2017 (UTC)
:Only, even assuming there's such a thing as molasses storage research, it's unlikely that your lab is going to contain life-threatening quantities of molasses. It's not as if a few liters escaping could reproduce and turn into thousands of tons. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.35|141.101.99.35]] 16:27, 18 October 2017 (UTC)
:: Personally, I'd be very surprised if there wasn't research into the optimum large-scale storage of foodstuffs, given the potential high-value losses that could occur. Perhaps there might be something [https://www.journals.elsevier.com/journal-of-stored-products-research here] on it?[[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.32|162.158.155.32]] 16:30, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

Plus how many times have robots escaped from a lab in real life? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.78.70|172.68.78.70]] 12:11, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

I think entymology is a reference to [https://xkcd.com/1012 1012]
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.91.95|162.158.91.95]] 14:50, 18 October 2017 (UTC)

I think the title text may have a somewhat humorous naming scheme derived from the Great Molasses Flood Wikipedia discussion page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Great_Molasses_Flood
There's a lengthy discussion about changing the name from "Boston Molasses Disaster" to "Great Molasses Flood". I noticed that Randall used both approaches to describing the events in the title text, but maybe that was a coincidence.

I am not impressed. Movie supervillains often use paleontology (dinosaurs), geology (volcano/earthquake) and astronomy (comets). Also, there is a tendency to pair marine biology with laser-optics. And, to actually dominate the world, a real-life villain will probably need to use cunning linguistics at some level or the other. --[[User:Nialpxe|Nialpxe]], 2017. [[User_talk:Nialpxe|(Arguments welcome)]]
:I had the same initial reaction, but note how Randall didn't write "movie supervillain", but just "supervillain", so you should only take into account what is currently feasible in technology state-of-the-art, or what we can reasonably foresee for the next decade or so. I don't see any madman being able to revive (and control!) dinosaurs, capture a comet or trigger an earthquake in the next 10-20 years. As for shark-mounted lasers, they are cool to show off and inspire fear, but hardly useful to achieve world domination by themselves. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.35|141.101.99.35]] 16:18, 18 October 2017 (UTC)
::When we get into the realm of supervillainy - especially given XKCD's history - we're almost certainly talking fiction. And if we're talking fiction, Randall's forgotten about ''Moonraker'', where astronomy and dentistry both play a significant role in the supervillain's plot, and should thus rate higher on the vertical scale. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.78.16|172.68.78.16]] 02:42, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
::Comets? What about black holes at relativistic speeds? Although those tend to be hard to see ... -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:39, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
::I think it's safe to assume that most supervillains have read [[1883]] are not going to use geology in that way. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.10|172.68.54.10]] 07:30, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

Looks like the "Research Risk" column is just a comment field open for speculation -- can we merge Comments and Research Risk into one column? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebob]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 03:34, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
: I'd suggest it'd be better to have one column for the supervillain risk factors, and one for the escaped research risk factors.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.32|162.158.155.32]] 08:47, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
:: I'd suggest that it would be interesting to have a few examples (movies/TV/real) listed beneath a sentence or two in each of those columns. --[[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 13:38, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

Interestingly, I referenced the Great Molasses Flood in a tangential comment to comic 1900 - is Randall now browsing this site to find inspiration for new comics? ;o) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.32|162.158.155.32]] 08:53, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

I feel like the linguistics section is missing an opportunity for a Snow Crash joke...[[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.29|141.101.99.29]] 10:38, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

Surely the risk of escape from Linguistics should be high - language is inherently hard to contain and control, and often ends up infecting the world with dangerous rubbish like 'solutioning synergistic opportunities going forward'.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.32|162.158.155.32]] 11:34, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

"Fungi cannot move..." - tell that to {{w|Toad_(Nintendo)|this guy}}.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.32|162.158.155.32]] 11:43, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

If ''Marathon Man'' is anything to judge by, dentistry can be used by a superillain in his bid to take over the world... just not to actually conquer the world. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.56|162.158.155.56]] 14:57, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

What about prosthetic robotic dentistry? I refer you to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chattery_Teeth_(short_story)
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.69.87|162.158.69.87]] 15:05, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
: What about prosthetic robotic dentistry on insects? That would be truly terrifying.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.32|162.158.155.32]] 16:26, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

I found my Ph.D. work about lanthanide organometallics to be rather unyieldy for supervillainry...and that's why I'm studying computer science now :-) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.76.178|141.101.76.178]] 16:19, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

Geology rates low for risk of studied object to break free and threaten local population!? Did Randall miss the high tension around Norways [https://www.thelocal.no/20171018/norways-mannen-landslide-postponed-until-next-year 'the man']? --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.182.154|162.158.182.154]] 17:50, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

Paleontology? Are velociraptors breaking free not a big deal?

The comments for Botany should probably include reference to the supervillain Poison Ivy

Talk:2249: I Love the 20s

2020-01-01T19:13:05Z

173.245.54.63:

But is White Hat right or wrong? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.91.197|162.158.91.197]] 19:00, 1 January 2020 (UTC)
:Both. It's the only way to settle this. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.63|173.245.54.63]] 19:13, 1 January 2020 (UTC)

2243: Star Wars Spoiler Generator

2019-12-20T17:27:11Z

173.245.54.63: /* Table */

{{comic
| number = 2243
| date = December 18, 2019
| title = Star Wars Spoiler Generator
| image = star wars spoiler generator.png
| titletext = The heroes seem to be gaining the upper hand until Darth Juul manages to flip the switch on the car wash control panel from 'REGULAR' to 'PREMIUM.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by DARTH KYLE}}
On December 20, 2019 (2 days after the publication of this comic), the final movie of the "Skywalker saga" of ''Star Wars'' films, ''{{w|Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker}}'', will be officially released to the US. It received a world premiere in Los Angeles on December 16, so there are lots of spoilers online, and also lots of people who want to avoid spoilers. [[Randall]] has created a flowchart that generates "spoilers" to the film, but as he probably has not seen the film (or, if he has, he doesn't actually want to spoil it for us), all of the so-called spoilers are nonsensical.

The formula for each spoiler is as follows: "In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain '''[villain name]''' with help from their new friend '''[friend name]'''. Rey builds a new lightsaber with a '''[color]''' blade, and they head out to confront the First Order's new superweapon, the '''[superweapon name]''', a space station capable of '''[evil plan]'''. They unexpectedly join forces with their old enemy '''[character]''' and destroy the superweapon in a battle featuring '''[strange event]'''. P.S. Rey's parents are '''[character]''' and '''[character]'''".

The {{w|First Order (Star Wars)|First Order}} is the main antagonist group in the ''Star Wars'' {{w|Star Wars sequel trilogy|sequel trilogy}} series. In ''{{w|Star Wars: The Force Awakens}}'', they use a superweapon in their base, Starkiller Base, to destroy the planetary system housing the headquarters of the {{w|New Republic (Star Wars)|New Republic}}, the democratic government which was formed after the {{w|Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|Empire}}'s defeat in ''{{w|Return of the Jedi}}''.

"Building a {{w|lightsaber}}" is one of the rites of passage for becoming a {{w|Jedi}} Knight. In the {{w|Star Wars prequel trilogy|prequel trilogy}}, new Jedi build lightsabers as an official part of the journey towards Knighthood, and in the {{w|Star Wars Trilogy|original trilogy}}, {{w|Luke Skywalker}} builds a lightsaber between ''The Empire Strikes Back'' and ''Return of the Jedi'' as part of his training with {{w|Yoda}}. {{w|Rey (Star Wars)|Rey}} has used the lightsaber that {{w|Darth Vader|Anakin Skywalker}} made and used (which Luke also used when he was a new Jedi) for the first two movies of the sequel trilogy, and so it would be thematically appropriate for her to build her own prior to the trilogy's final entry. Most Jedi's lightsabers are either blue or green, with a few notable exceptions (e.g. {{w|Mace Windu}}'s purple lightsaber signifies his incredible combat prowess). Kyber crystals are aligned with the Light Side of {{w|the Force}}, so {{w|Sith}} must overpower and "bleed" their crystals before they will function for them, which causes their distinctive red color. Having a lightsaber of a color other than blue, green, or red is often seen in the ''Star Wars'' fandom as a sign of being a "[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue Mary Sue]", which is an accusation which has been made of Rey.

Another common plot point in ''Star Wars'' media is the construction, use, and destruction of a superweapon. These are inspired by stories and media of World War II, in which militaries sought to find, attack, and destroy critical elements of their enemies' resources and infrastructure, and meanwhile would construct elaborate defenses for themselves. The attack on the {{w|Death Star}} in particular is inspired by {{w|Operation Chastise}}, the "bouncing bomb" attack on Germany's hydroelectric power plants; Operation Chastise was dramatised in the {{w|The Dam Busters (book)|1951 book}} and {{w|The Dam Busters (film)|1955 film}} ''The Dam Busters'', which was [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNdb03Hw18M very thoroughly homaged] by ''A New Hope''. The original trilogy of movies only had two Death Stars, but superweapons quickly became a staple of the {{w|Star Wars expanded to other media|Expanded Universe}} fiction, to the point that one book had {{w|Han Solo}} make fun of the Empire's tendency towards building superweapons, proposing such ridiculous names as "Galaxy Destructor" and "Nostril of Palpatine".

Redemption and making allies of old enemies is also a common plot point in ''Star Wars''. Anakin Skywalker fell to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader, but eventually returned to the Light Side to protect his son, and Han Solo was initially a morally ambiguous character who was eventually convinced to join the Rebellion.

Rey, one of the main characters in the sequel trilogy series is an orphan, who was left behind on the planet Jakku as a child. As Rey is Force-sensitive and adept at using a lightsaber, there is much speculation among Star Wars fans as to the identity of her parents. Many major characters in ''Star Wars'' have unexpected heritages of great portent, most famously Luke, who was very distressed to learn that Darth Vader did not ''kill'' his father, as Obi-Wan had told him, but ''is'' his father. In ''{{w|Star Wars: The Last Jedi}}'', villain {{w|Kylo Ren}} tells her that she is the child of "filthy junk traders", but many fans speculate that he was lying to her.

The title text refers to the bottom option of the [strange event in battle] section. Apparently Lord Juul (or Darth Juul) is fighting the heroes in the Sith car wash. It is unclear what "flipping the switch" from Regular to Premium would do, but it seems to be beneficial to Darth Juul. A "premium" car wash usually has more features than a regular car wash, e.g. more cleaning brushes, waxing the car, cleaning the tires, etc.

This is the second false fact generating comic, after [[1930: Calendar Facts]].

==Table==
{| class="wikitable"
! Entry
! Explanation
|-
! colspan="2" | New villain
|-
| Kyle Ren
|Kyle Ren is one letter away from {{w|Kylo Ren|''Kylo'' Ren}}, the adopted "Sith name" of Ben Solo, son of Han and Leia Solo. Kylo is one of the antagonists of the first two movies in the sequel trilogy, and presumably will be so in the third, but there's nobody in the films named "Kyle". (There are a handful of ''Legends'' characters named Kyle, most famously Kyle Katarn, protagonist of the ''Star Wars: Jedi Knight'' video game series.)
|-
| {{w|Malloc}}
| Malloc is a function used in the C programming language to allocate more memory in the running of a program. Malloc may sound similar to {{w|Darth Malak|Malak}}, the antagonist of the ''{{w|Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic}}'' video game.
|-
|Darth Sebelius
| {{w|Sebelius}} is the last name of several people. {{w|Kathleen Sebelius}} is a former state representative and governor of Kansas who was Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services under President Obama. Sebelius was the named party in a {{w|National Federation of Independent Business v. Sebelius|Supreme Court case}} that upheld the provisions of the {{w|Affordable Care Act}} ("Obamacare"). The naming of Sebelius as a villain may reference the fact that the ACA has been highly controversial among certain groups. Additionally, {{w|Jean Sibelius}} is a reknowned Finnish composer. Randall may have chosen this surname as it sounds similar to {{w|Darth Sidious}}, the overarching villain in the first 6 Star Wars films, who is rumored to return in the upcoming film. It is also similar to the name of {{w|Sibelius (scorewriter)}}, a piece of music software
|-
|{{w|Theranos}}
|Theranos was a medical technology company founded by {{w|Elizabeth Holmes}} which claimed to have developed revolutionary blood tests that could produce more data from limited volumes of blood than ever before. They were eventually found to have engaged in fraudulent activity, having tricked investors into thinking their technology was performing better than it actually was or ever could, which resulted in fines for Holmes and Theranos president {{w|Ramesh Balwani}} and the bankruptcy of Theranos. Theranos also sounds similar to {{w|Thanos}}, the main villain of the Infinity Saga in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
|-
|Lord Juul
|{{w|Juul}} is a brand of e-cigarettes. In addition to the broader controversy surrounding electronic cigarettes, Juul has been investigated for its sale of flavored additives for their cigarettes, which are alleged to be particularly attractive to minors.
|-
! colspan="2" | New friend
|-
| Kim Spacemeasurer
| May be a parody of the name {{w|Luke Skywalker}}, one of the main characters in the original trilogy of films. Other "Nounverber" names in ''Star Wars'' include Starkiller, Luke's original last name which was later applied to Starkiller Base in ''The Force Awakens'', and Biggs Darklighter, Luke's childhood friend and fellow Rebel pilot who died in the attack on the original Death Star.
|-
|Teen Yoda
|{{w|The Child (Star Wars character)|The Child}}, commonly called "Baby Yoda" by fans and the media, is a breakout character from the Disney+ series ''{{w|The Mandalorian}}''. Randall envisions a "teenage" version of this character teaming up with the main characters. This may be in analogy to Groot in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, who appeared as an adult, then child, then teen, or other adaptations of original characters like the Teen Titans.
|-
|Dab Tweetdeck
| A {{w|Dab (dance)|dab}} is a dance move which is many decades old but was made popular by that name in the late 2010's. {{w|TweetDeck}} is an application for managing Twitter accounts. Taken together, "Dab Tweetdeck" could be a character name proposed by clueless Disney executives to attract "the kids" to see ''The Rise of Skywalker'', although one would think that this name would be heavily promoted and thus not a spoiler in that case.
|-
| Yaz Progestin
| Yaz sounds like the first name of {{w|Maz Kanata}}, a supporting protagonist in the sequel trilogy. Yaz is a medication which contains {{w|Progestin}}, which imitates the effects of {{w|progesterone}}, a female sex hormone. It is used for purposes including birth control and acne treatment.
|-
| TI-83
| Droids in the Star Wars universe typically have names with letters and numbers, such as R2-D2, C-3PO, BB-8, etc. Randall has created a new character called "TI-83". In real life, the {{w|TI-83}} is a model of graphing calculator manufactured by {{w|Texas Instruments}} that is commonly used in American high schools. This mirrors the origin of the name "R2-D2", which was inspired when Lucas was working on ''{{w|American Graffiti}}'' and was asked for Reel 2, Dialog Track 2, which was abbreviated "R-2-D-2". He remarked that it would be a "great name" and included it in his then-in-development script for ''Star Wars''.
|-
! colspan="2" | Lightsaber colors
|-
| [beige/ochre/mauve/aquamarine/taupe]
| These are different colors, none of which is a "traditional" color for a lightsaber. {{w|Beige}} is a pale-grayish yellow. {{w|Ochre}} is a clay earth pigment ranging from yellow to deep orange or brown. {{w|Mauve}} is a pale purple color. A purple color has been used for a lightsaber in the prequel trilogy series, by Jedi Master {{w|Mace Windu}}. {{w|Aquamarine (color)|Aquamarine}} is a blueish green color. {{w|Taupe}} is a dark brown color between brown and gray.
|-
! colspan="2" | Superweapon names
|-
|Sun Obliterator
| There was an Expanded Universe superweapon called the "Sun Crusher", which would infiltrate a star system and shoot a special torpedo into the star to make it go supernova. May also be a reference to one of the doodles from What If?.
|-
|Moonsquisher
| There were no ''Star Wars'' superweapons with the word "Moon" in their title (or "squisher"), but in the no-longer-canon ''New Jedi Order'' series, Chewbacca was squished ''by'' a moon that was intentionally de-orbited by invading Yuuzhan Vong.
|-
|World Eater
| Possibly a reference to {{w|Alduin}}, the main villain of the popular game {{w|The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim}}. In the Expanded Universe, the Empire used World Devastators, massive machines that would strip-mine planets with tractor beams and make weapons and spacecraft from the extracted resources.
|-
|Planet Zester
| A {{w|zester}} is a cooking tool for zesting citrus fruit, that is, scraping off the outer layer of a citrus fruit to obtain the flavorful outer layer of its skin. Zesting a planet would be devastating to anything built or living on its surface.
|-
|Superconducting supercollider
| A {{w|supercollider}}, or particle accelerator, is a machine used to accelerate charged particles to very high speeds, for testing in particle physics. The {{w|Superconducting Super Collider}} was a proposed accelerator which was to be constructed in Texas, but was cancelled partway through construction.
|-
! colspan="2" | Station capabilities
|-
|blowing up a planet with a bunch of beams of energy that combine into one
|This is how the {{w|Death Star}} was depicted in ''{{w|Star Wars: A New Hope}}''. Many beams converged together to form one energy beam. The superweapon was used to destroy the planet Alderaan, as an intimidation tactic against Princess Leia.
|-
|blowing up a bunch of planets with one beam of energy that splits into many
|This is how the superweapon on Starkiller Base was depicted in ''{{w|Star Wars: The Force Awakens}}''. A single energy beam split into several beams, allowing it to attack many planets. The superweapon was used to destroy the planets in the Hosnian system, the headquarters of the New Republic.
|-
|cutting a planet in half and smashing the halves together like two cymbals
|Jango Fett's "seismic charge" weapon, which he used in a dogfight against Obi-Wan Kenobi in ''Attack of the Clones'', produced a plane wave that cut asteroids in half; presumably a larger weapon of this kind could do the same to a planet.
|-
|increasing the CO2 levels in a planet's atmosphere, causing rapid heating
|This seems to have occurred on the planet {{w|Venus}}. Venus' atmosphere is 97% carbon dioxide, and it is also the hottest planet in the Solar System, due to a greenhouse effect, preventing the planet from cooling. Some people believe that this is also currently happening on Earth as a result of limited regulation on air pollution.
|-
|triggering the end credits before the movie is done
|The {{w|closing credits}} or end credits of a film is the list of cast and crew who were involved in the making of the film. It would be quite strange to show the end credits of the film before it has concluded, although it is one of the [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CreditsGag types of credits gag] used in other media. This entry is considerably less damaging to a planet{{Citation needed}} than the other 4 entries in this section, but if early audiences are left unsatisfied by the movie, they might tell everyone else not to see it, which would put the ''Star Wars'' franchise in a perilous financial situation. This would negatively impact the villains as well as the heroes, but they might consider this a worthwhile trade if it is their best option at harming the heroes.
|-
! colspan="2" | Old enemy/new friend
|-
|{{w|Boba Fett}}
| Boba Fett is a famous bounty hunter introduced in the ''{{w|Star Wars Holiday Special}}'' and made popular by ''{{w|The Empire Strikes Back}}''. On the Empire's orders, he helped capture Han Solo as part of a plot to capture Luke Skywalker. He later tried to prevent Luke from rescuing Han, but was knocked into a sarlacc pit, where he was presumed eaten. In the Expanded Universe, he survived and did eventually join the protagonists against extragalactic invaders; his survival has not been confirmed by Disney's new canon, but he would be a plausible character to bring back in ''The Rise of Skywalker''. A Mandalorian (not Boba Fett, but a bounty hunter using body-armour  from the same planet) is featured in the new Disney+ series, ''The Mandalorian''.
|-
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Salacious_B._Crumb Salacious Crumb]
| Salacious B. Crumb is a Kowakian monkey-lizard who was Jabba the Hutt's jester. He wasn't exactly a major adversary, but he did pull one of C-3PO's eyes out. He was last seen on Jabba the Hutt's sail barge, which was made to explode after Han, Luke, and the rest of the heroes escaped from it, and is presumed dead.
|-
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Exogorth The Space Slug]
| In ''The Empire Strikes Back'', Han Solo pilots the Millennium Falcon into a giant cave to evade pursuit and get time to effect repairs. He is interrupted when the cave turns out to be the mouth of a giant space slug, which the Falcon barely escapes. A giant space slug might be a powerful ally in a battle against a giant space station.
|-
|The bottom half of {{w|Darth Maul}}
| Darth Maul was cut in half by Obi-Wan Kenobi at the end of ''The Phantom Menace''. His "upper half", attached to mechanical legs, has returned as a villain in the ''Clone Wars'' TV series and ''{{w|Solo: A Star Wars Story|Solo}}''. Given that Maul was a Sith and Kenobi a Jedi, who trained Luke, who trained Rey, it would be extremely unexpected for his "bottom half" to join forces with the heroes, although presumably his bottom half would have to be attached to something, which might be better disposed towards Jedi.
|-
|YouTube commenters
| The sequel trilogy has received more mixed reviews from watchers than Disney might like, and many vocal non-fans have taken to commenting on YouTube (via videos and comments) on what they don't like about the new movies and new characters. If ''The Rise of Skywalker'' fully wins the crowd, an alliance between the heroes and their former critics would be extremely powerful, but with Rotten Tomatoes showing a critics' aggregate score of [https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_wars_the_rise_of_skywalker/ less than 60%] ("rotten"), it's going to be an uphill battle.
|-
! colspan="2" | Battle feature
|-
|a bow that shoots little lightsaber-headed arrows
|May be a reference to the [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Bowcaster bowcaster], a laser crossbow weapon used by the Wookie {{w|Chewbacca}}. It is unclear if the lightsaber-headed arrows are actually lightsabers in itself, as they would seem difficult to produce (as opposed to the Death Star, or even a bunch of sword versions of the arrow).
|-
|X-Wings and TIE fighters dodging the giant letters of the opening crawl
| The {{w|Star Wars opening crawl|"opening crawl"}} is a signature motif used in all the main Star Wars films, to explain the backstory and context of each film. {{w|X-Wing}}s and {{w|TIE fighter}}s are fighter-type spaceships used by the Rebels (and Resistance later on) and the Empire (and First Order), respectively. A dogfight scene during the opening crawl would involve {{w|Fourth wall|breaking the fourth wall}}, as the opening crawl is not presumed to be part of the universe of the films (except when so parodied, such as in {{w|Airplane II: The Sequel}}).
|-
|a Sith educational display that uses Force lightning to demonstrate the dielectric breakdown of air
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Force_lightning Force lightning] is a power that Force users can use to generate electric energy from the user's hands. It was first used in ''Return of the Jedi'' by Emperor Palpatine (Darth Sidious) when Luke Skywalker refuses to give in to the dark side of the Force. Palpatine attempts to kill Luke with Force lightning, but Darth Vader saves Luke by throwing Palpatine down a reactor chute. Palpatine also used Force Lightning on Mace Windu and Yoda during their battles at the end of ''Revenge of the Sith''. None of these uses of Sith lightning were intended to be educational on the nature of {{w|lightning}}, although they could have been very educational on the pain, cruelty, and "unlimited power!" offered by the Dark Side of the Force. This might also be a reference to [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Sith_holocron sith holocron] — a device to store Force-related information and secrets, possibly.
|-
|Kylo Ren putting on another helmet over his smaller one
|Kylo Ren is famous for wearing his helmet in ''The Force Awakens'', which he styled after Darth Vader's helmet. Putting on another helmet over it would require a comically large helmet that might be compared to Dark Helmet, a character from the parody film ''{{w|Spaceballs}}'' who parodies Darth Vader.
|-
|a Sith car wash where the bristles on the brushes are little lightsabers
| While an unexpected car wash finale scene seems unlikely, it is not without precedent in cinema; ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescence_of_Utena Adolescence of Utena]'' featured the title character unexpectedly entering a car wash and transforming into a car (followed by a segue into a car race sequence).
|-
! colspan="2" | Rey's parent #1
|-
| {{w|Luke Skywalker|Luke}}
| Luke Skywalker is the main character of the original Star Wars films. Of all of the characters presented here, he is the one with the greatest likelihood of being Rey's father. When Maz gave Rey Luke's lightsaber, she said "[t]hat lightsaber was Luke's, and his father's before him, and now, it calls to you." Luke does not seem to recognize Rey as his child (or as anybody in particular), but Darth Vader did not recognize Luke or Leia as his children -- and indeed did not know that he had any living children -- until they were grown. However, unlike Anakin Skywalker, or the Luke Skywalker from the pre-Disney Expanded Universe, no canon materials have presented anyone with whom Luke has fallen in love or fathered a child.
|-
|{{w|Princess Leia|Leia}} and {{w|Han Solo|Han}}
|Princess Leia and Han Solo are the other main characters of the original Star Wars films. It is unlikely that Leia or Han are Rey's parents as they did not seem to recognize Rey in any of the sequel trilogy films, nor is there any indication that they have had more than one child (Ben Solo, AKA Kylo Ren).
|-
|{{w|Obi-Wan Kenobi|Obi-Wan}}
|Obi-Wan Kenobi was one of the main characters in the Star Wars prequel trilogy. He, along with Qui-Gon Jinn, discovered Anakin Skywalker, who later became Darth Vader. Kenobi dies at the end of ''Star Wars: A New Hope'', sacrificing himself to allow Luke, Leia, and Han to escape the Death Star. Marriage and parenthood were forbidden by the Jedi Order, and Obi-Wan generally adhered to the Order's rules more closely than Anakin did; Obi-Wan did feel some mutual romantic attraction with Duchess Satine of Mandalore, but they both chose to remain in their respective organizations rather than pursue a relationship.
|-
|a random junk trader
|This is who Kylo Ren claims that Rey is descended from: worthless, random junk traders.
|-
! colspan="2" | Rey's parent #2
|-
|{{w|Poe Dameron|Poe}}
|Poe Dameron is one of the main characters of the Star Wars sequel trilogy. He is a pilot in the Resistance. He is only 13 years older than Rey, and thus is most likely not her father.
|-
|{{w|BB-8}}
|BB-8 is an astromech droid owned by Poe Dameron. It is unlikely that Rey is descended from a (non-living) droid.
|-
|[ {{w|Amilyn Holdo}} /Laura Dern]
|Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo, portrayed by Laura Dern, was a leader in the Resistance. She dies at the end of ''The Last Jedi'', sacrificing herself by jumping to light speed straight into the First Order's pursuing starship. Randall presents both Admiral Holdo, the character, and Laura Dern, the actress, as separate options for Rey's mother, but the former is not supported by any story material and the latter is impossible (Dern is alive here and now, not "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away").
|-
|a random junk trader
| (see above)
|-
|that one droid from the Jawa Sandcrawler that says ''Gonk''
|This is [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/GNK_power_droid a droid] from ''Star Wars: A New Hope'' that says "Gonk". As in the BB-8 entry, it is unlikely that Rey is descended from a droid.
|-
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
:<big>Star Wars Spoiler Generator</big>

:[Shown below is a branching flowchart of sorts that begins at the phrase "In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain...", then flows through various paths to build up a story.]

:In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain...
::Kyle Ren
::Malloc
::Darth Sebelius
::Theranos
::Lord Juul

:...with help from their new friend...
::Kim Spacemeasurer
::Teen Yoda
::Dab Tweetdeck
::Yaz Progestin
::TI-83

:Rey builds a new lightsaber with a...
::beige
::ochre
::mauve
::aquamarine
::taupe

:...blade, and they head out to confront the First Order's new superweapon, the...
::Sun Obliterator
::Moonsquisher
::World Eater
::Planet Zester
::Superconducting Supercollider

:...a space station capable of...
::blowing up a planet with a bunch of beams of energy that combine into one
::blowing up a bunch of planets with one beam of energy that splits into many
::cutting a planet in half and smashing the halves together like two cymbals
::increasing the CO2 levels in a planet's atmosphere, causing rapid heating
::triggering the end credits before the movie is done

:They unexpectedly join forces with their old enemy...
::Boba Fett
::Salacious Crumb
::The Space Slug
::the bottom half of Darth Maul
::Youtube commenters

:...and destroy the superweapon in a battle featuring
::a bow that shoots little lightsaber-headed arrows
::X-Wings and TIE fighters dodging the giant letters of the opening crawl
::a Sith educational display that uses Force Lightning to demonstrate the dielectric breakdown of air
::Kylo Ren putting on another helmet over his smaller one
::a Sith car wash where the bristles on the brushes are little lightsabers

:P.S. Rey's parents are...
::Luke
::Leia
::Han
::Obi-Wan
::a random junk trader

:...and...
::Poe
::BB-8
::Amilyn Holdo
::Laura Dern
::a random junk trader
::that one droid from the Jawa Sandcrawler that says ''Gonk''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Programming]]

91: Pwned

2016-07-23T18:18:07Z

173.245.54.63: Changing the reference from the Westwood RTS to the Valve FPS.

{{comic
| number = 91
| date = April 19, 2006
| title = Pwned
| image = Pwned.png
| titletext = I'm sure a discussion of the reason for the disappearance of adventure games in favor of RPGs would be fascinating.
}}

==Explanation==
First off, three references have to be explained:
*"Counterstrike" is a reference to the {{w|Half-Life (series)|Half-Life}} mod {{w|Counter-Strike}}, and it's subsequent sequel. In the Counter-Strike series, you are either a terrorist or a counter terrorist operative and your goal is to stop the other from completing their objective. On a dark map, players would generally use night vision goggles which don't produce light which would give away their position to the enemy.
*"[[Wiktionary:pwned|Pwned]]" is a typical online gaming term meaning beaten, killed or trapped/tricked.
*The "grue" is a predator in the game franchise {{w|Zork}}. Grues fear light, but love to devour adventurers entering the dark. Therefore, you cannot win the game without owning some light source.

Zork is a typical text-adventure, in which you play turn-based (like chess). The computer spits out some textual context, you enter a command (GO <direction>, TAKE <object>, KILL <person>, LOOK AT <object> etc.), and the computer responds by giving the outcome of your command. This scarce context arose from the fact that games in the 1970s and 1980s needed to run on limited memory and microprocessor capacity. During the last 20 years, these barriers were broken down, and games in graphical context, and running in real-time were made possible.

Randall returns Counterstrike to the text-context of Zork, stating thereby that no player used to the real-time, graphical atmosphere of the former would have any appeal to the turn and text-based dynamics of the latter. And yes, that indeed is an initiation to the discussion mentioned in the image text.

The title text mentions {{w|Adventure game|adventure games}} from the early days of personal computers like the IBM-XT, Atari, or C64. That games were based on an interactive story and the player had to solve a puzzle on this by only communicating to the application using a keyboard or later even a mouse. The more modern way of playing games is the genre of {{w|Role-playing video game|Role Playing Games (RPG)}} where the player controls a character who changes in ability and often involve a combat component.

==Transcript==
:Welcome to text-only Counterstrike.
:You are in a dark, outdoor map.
:> GO NORTH
:You have been pwned by a grue.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Video games]]

Talk:91: Pwned

2016-07-23T18:06:58Z

173.245.54.63:

[[User:Rikthoff|Rikthoff]] ([[User talk:Rikthoff|talk]]) Does anybody know why this comic is stored in Portable Graphic Format (PNG) instead of JPEG? Is this an inside joke? -- 12:29, 3 August 2012‎ (UTC)

Guest: An alternate way to look at this uses the same three cultural acknowledgements, but with a little more of thoughtful understanding. The grue lies in wait in the dark and devours the player, and likewise a 'camper' player in CS would wait for a player and kill them upon entry. It can be looked at that the blindness of entering the room that the camper kills the player at is comparable to the darkness that the grue eats the player from. All-in-all this amounts to a frustrating experience of dying in a game, and so a correlation is drawn. Because they seem to be similar frustrations, in which the only effective difference is whether you read it or see it, the text thus implies that there is no actual leverage that makes graphical games favored.
It may also further extend from this to additionally taunt the relatively basic slang of getting killed in Counter-Strike being immature, brief, and unfulfilling compared to the larger descriptions that try to pull the player into the game that was needed for Zork to accommodate for the lack of graphics. {{unsigned ip|66.177.70.225|03:20, 20 September 2012‎ (UTC)}}

It's not worth changing the description, as it's not relevant to the context, but Zork was ''not'' "typical" because it could understand more complex commands than most other (non-{{w|Infocom}}) text adventures, like "kill the troll with the axe". [[User:Markhurd|Mark Hurd]] ([[User talk:Markhurd|talk]]) 12:33, 13 April 2013 (UTC)

You know, it's not just (standard) processor and memory improvements that led to graphical games but (unsurprisingly) actual graphical capability... Text-based games (including MUDs) could be played on anything, even text-only terminals and over telnet connections and the like. Graphical capabilities beyond CGA (which limits us to ASCII-art or 'ASCII-shaded' depictions of things, in leiu of sticking to text-only descriptions) allowed a progression to FPS-ish, via the likes of graphical tile-based games (although see Dwarf Fortress as a game that could have been text-only in its tile-ness, albeit that even the vanilla character-based display is ''implemented'' with graphics of said characters), and even if it was EGA you ''could'' now get graphics, and have to start worrying about whether you could calculate the image quickly enough to start looking at pre-Dooms, especially when you don't yet ''necessarily'' have anything approximating a separate GPU and graphics RAM... Which is much as originally said, but... ;)

Oh, and (referencing Rikthoff's question) IMO the .PNG format is far more suited to Randall's comics than .JPG, so I'm not sure there's any inside-joke. Indeed, some of the other early comics with colours (that may have been saved as JPEGs, I haven't checked) appear to have quite a lot of artefacts in them, but I don't know if anyone's enumerated the formats used. Certainly the very latest are PNG, which I say is all for the best. I can think of at least one (the Steve Jobs memorial one) that was almost certainly .GIF, because it needed animation. Inferior to .PNG, but still superior to JPEG for largely monochrome line-drawings (and not bad even for colour-filled ones, if not requiring the full gamut of colours that the current favoured format technically allows). [[Special:Contributions/178.98.31.27|178.98.31.27]] 05:50, 24 June 2013 (UTC)

::I think the title text is a reference to this: http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=523--[[Special:Contributions/173.245.50.85|173.245.50.85]] 00:29, 9 April 2014 (UTC)
I doubt the reference is to a Command & Conquer expansion pack and not to the Half-Life expansion pack, though there's nothing in the strip itself to say either way. --[[User:Alex|Alex]] ([[User talk:Alex|talk]]) 21:39, 18 April 2014 (UTC)
::I agree. I've put more time into C&C than CS and I immediately connect this with the Valve game. Additionally, units in C&C are inherently light sources, so they are grue-proof. I am going to change the explain. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.63|173.245.54.63]] 18:06, 23 July 2016 (UTC)

I made an edit to change the definition of RPG -NotAnAccount [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.111|173.245.56.111]] 21:16, 24 September 2015 (UTC)

There is now a text-only CounterStrike, albiet with some ASCII art: http://csstory.net/ [[User:Pablo360|Pablo360]] ([[User talk:Pablo360|talk]]) 19:48, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

1707: xkcd Phone 4

2016-07-15T17:59:31Z

173.245.54.63:

{{comic
| number = 1707
| date = July 15, 2016
| title = xkcd Phone 4
| image = xkcd_phone_4.png
| titletext = The SpaceX system carefully guides falling phones down to the surface, a process which the phones increasingly often survive without exploding.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Not everything explained}}

This is another entry in the xkcd Phone series (see [[1363: xkcd Phone]], [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]] and [[1549: XKCD Phone 3]]), and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords to create a phone that sounds impressive but would actually be very impractical.

From the top, going clockwise:
* '''18,000 μAh (micro-Ampere hours) nickel-lithium-iron battery (non-rechargeable)''' Phone battery capacity is measured in {{w|ampere-hour}}s (which thanks to the magic of {{w|dimensional analysis}}, is just an unusual way of denoting electric charge, which equals 3600 Coulombs). Usually, the capacity is quoted in milliampere-hours (one-thousandth, or 10^-3, of an ampere hour); however, this one is quoted in ''micro''ampere-hours (one-millionth, or 10^-6, of an ampere-hour), presumably as a marketing ploy to give a more impressive-looking number. Quoted in more standard terms, this phone's battery capacity is 18 mAh. In comparison, an iPhone 6+ has a battery capacity of 2,750 mAh. This phone's battery is dreadful (under a typical current draw of 0.1A, it would power the phone for about 11 minutes). There is no such thing as a nickel-lithium-iron battery - rather, it's a garbled version of the experimental {{w|nickel–lithium battery}} and the common {{w|lithium ion battery}} (which does not contain any iron) or the lithium-iron-phosphate battery, often called lithium-iron, but more often called the LiFePO battery. The {{w|nickel–iron battery}} does exist, but it's ''terrible'' for most applications. Worse, this battery is non-rechargeable, meaning that it would have to be replaced to use the phone again after it is exhausted.
* '''Subwoofer''' - A {{w|subwoofer}} is a large bass speaker, which this is not. Some phones do have high-quality speakers for playing music, but these are not placed right next to the earpiece - this would be a surefire way to deafen your users.
* '''"Dog whistle"''' - A {{w|dog whistle}} is a high-pitched whistle that humans cannot hear, but dogs can. In speaker terminology, a bass speaker is called a {{w|woofer}} because it could reproduce the low pitch of a dog bark. A treble speaker is a {{w|tweeter}}; if this "whistle" is actually a speaker, it might be termed a ''supertweeter''. This might also be a reference to the idea of making racily charged statements to appeal to racist voters while not being overtly racist. The scare quotes around the term add to the idea that whatever it is called is not what it really is.
* '''Non-porous, washable''' - On the one hand, it's rare for a phone to be made of porous materials. On the other, there are legitimately waterproof phones that seal the speakers and ports with rubber.
* '''''WebMD'' partnership: cough-activated feature reads aloud a random diagnosis for "coughing"''' - {{w|WebMD}} is a website to help people diagnose themselves. For the vast majority of people, a cough just means an irritated throat or maybe a cold, but selecting randomly from all WebMD diagnoses gives some much more ominous - if very unlikely - ones, including {{w|ricin}} poisoning, {{w|plague}}, {{w|lung cancer}} and {{w|radiation poisoning}}.
* '''Wings''' - These wings resemble the ones found on {{w|sanitary towel}}s (sometimes called "pads", making this a possible iPad pun) which attach the pad to the {{w|gusset}} and keep it in place between the woman's legs during her period.
* '''Beveled bezel''' - The ''bezel'' is the ring around the edge of watches and screens. This one's {{w|bevel}}ed, which means it's cut at an angle.
* '''Bezeled bevel''' - Punning on the above. Doesn't make much sense, but could mean that it features a beveled edge which is surrounded by a bezel.
* '''Seedless''' - Fruit such as grapes can be "seedless", which means that they're grown from a special {{w|cultivar}} that doesn't grow seeds in the normal way. Making a phone seedless probably won't do anything, but {{w|Random seed|it might hurt}} its {{w|random number generator}}.
* '''Water resistant down to 30 meters and below 50''' - {{w|Water resistance}} is often measured in terms of how deep an object can be submerged, since pressure increases with depth. In this case, the phone can be submerged to almost any depth, but there's an odd lacuna between 30 meters and 50 meters.
* '''Turing-complete''' - A computer is {{w|Turing completeness|Turing complete}} if it can perform all the operations needed to simulate a {{w|Turing machine}}. All modern computers are usually described as Turing complete, which would make this not very impressive, but no computer can ever be Turing complete in the truest sense (since they can only ever have a finite amount of memory) - if the xkcd Phone 4 is truly a universal computer, it's ''very'' impressive indeed.
* '''Gregorian/Julian calendar date switch''' - The {{w|Julian calendar}} is the predecessor to the modern {{w|Gregorian calendar}} - the difference is that the two calendars calculate leap years differently. The Julian calendar is still used occasionally - mainly by Eastern Orthodox Christians - but it's not something so vital that it needs a hardwired switch on the front of the phone.
* '''''SpaceX'' impact protection: when dropped, phone lands on barge''' - The rocket company {{w|SpaceX}} recently trialed a {{w|SpaceX reusable launch system development program|reusable rocket stage}} which after separating from the launch vehicle, lands on a {{w|Autonomous spaceport drone ship|drone barge}} to be reused. The alt-text pokes fun at the number of SpaceX rockets that [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3wZRdg-Tmo crashed and exploded] before they got the landing gear right.
* '''Parallel port''' - A {{w|parallel port}} is a type of interface which transfers high-volume simultaneous data. It was often used to connect printers and other devices to computers, but was generally considered obsolete by the time smartphones began to appear on the market, and would be very bulky and slow compared to the USB ports generally used in phones. It was commonly found together with {{w|serial port}}s, which are used for low-volume sequential data such as [[485: Depth|mouse]] [[1110: Click and Drag|movements]]. Here it is paired with a serial interface for analog data with parallel outputs for several people.
* '''12 headphone jacks''' - Phones often include a single headphone jack to allow the user to privately listen to a call, play music, etc. Twelve of them would be pointless overkill, especially given the difficulty of getting twelve people close enough to all use their headphones. Presumably joking about the [http://www.businessinsider.com.au/apple-headphone-jack-iphone-side-effects-2016-7#/#smaller-headphone-makers-would-be-at-a-disadvantage-4 constant rumours] that Apple's next iPhone will not have any headphone jacks, and the weird vents on the bottom of the phone.
* '''Onboard cloud''' - The "cloud" is a catch-all term for the use of remote computers to store data, providing a backup if all local copies are lost and allowing the data to be accessed from a broad network. An "onboard cloud" would thus be a contradiction in terms, and appears to be a marketing ploy to use the "cloud" buzzword to describe the device's onboard storage capacity.
* '''New BrightGloTM display incorporates genetically spliced jellyfish protein (should have used the glowing genes, not the stinging ones)''' - {{w|Aequorea victoria}} jellyfish contain a protein called {{w|green fluorescent protein}}, the gene for which has been isolated and can be used in many ways. Unfortunately, they took the wrong gene, and ended up getting [http://bmcgenomics.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12864-015-1568-3 one of the hundreds of proteins from jellyfish venom], which will presumably mean that touching the screen becomes a painful experience.
* '''✓ Certified''' - Not certified for anything in particular.
* '''Software-defined''' {{w|Software-defined radio}}s are quite popular in some areas, meaning the radio hardware is quite universal and can be adapted to different radio protocols just by changing software. SDR would actually be quite a nice feature for a cellphone. Of course it doesn't specify if it's the radio that is software defined.
* '''Exposed ductwork''' - A phone shouldn't even have ductwork, unless it has a very sophisticated cooling system, but this could supply air to the dog whistle. Exposed ductwork is a trademark of {{w|Bowellism|Bowellist}} architecture such as the {{w|Lloyd's Building}} in London and the {{w|Pompidou Centre}} in Paris. Exposed ductwork is also considered a crucial flaw in a death star. May also refer to a transparent window in the side of the phone allowing the user to see the circuitry inside, similar to computer cases with transparent side panels popular among DIY computing enthusiasts.
* '''Voice interaction: {{w|Siri (software)|Siri}}, {{w|Cortana (software)|Cortana}}, {{w|Google Now}} and {{w|Amazon Echo|Alexa}} respond simultaneously''' - These are all {{w|intelligent personal assistant software}} (from Apple, Microsoft, Google and Amazon respectively) and all do the same thing: control your phone and answer questions using speech recognition. Having all four talk at once would mean you'd have a total cacophony while gaining nothing.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Smartphones]]

1678: Recent Searches

2016-05-09T15:42:09Z

173.245.54.63: /* Explanation */ GIF to xls

{{comic
| number = 1678
| date = May 9, 2016
| title = Recent Searches
| image = recent_searches.png
| titletext = autoexec code posted by verified twitter users
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs an explanation for the individual queries.}}

The comic refers to the practice of finding answers to computer problems using {{w|Google}}. It shows a list of search queries, each of which suggests the author is perversely misusuing or overextending some computer technology or technologies. The overall impression is of someone technically sophisticated enough to shoot themselves in the foot, and who does not learn any larger lessons despite doing so repeatedly. It is unlikely any of the searches would give useful answers, because no two people would be perverse in these extremely specific ways. The title text is another possible entry in this list.

{| class="wikitable" border="1" cellpadding="4" style="border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
! width=20% | Search
! Explanation
|-
| Google translate syntax highlighting
| {{w|Syntax highlighting}} can be used when editing source code to make the code more readable and easier to understand. {{w|Google Translate}} is used to translate text from one spoken/written language to another. The joke here is that syntax highlighting doesn't make sense in the context of translating spoken/written languages.
|-
| Autodetect mixed bash zsh
|
|-
| CPU temperature sensor limits
|
|-
| GIF to XLS
| .GIF (Graphic Interchange Format) is a file extension used to store images and highly compressed videos. .XLS is thefile extension for Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. The joke is that the complete difference between the two types of file makes any kind of conversion all but impossible, so the search is useless.
|-
| Clock speed jumper sample rate
|
|-
| Clean reinstall keybinding
|
|-
| Cron job to update crontab
| {{w|Cron}} is a utility that allows you to schedule commands or scripts to be run periodically. These scheduled jobs are read from a ''crontab'' file. A job that updates the crontab (therefore creating new jobs, removing old ones or editing existing ones) is highly unusual and unlikely to be what you actually want to do.
|-
| fsck Chrome extension
| fsck is a low level tool that would require a lot of effort to run through a browser with no gain.
|-
| Recursive font
|
|-
| Regex matching valid ebnf
| EBNF refers to {{w|Extended Backus–Naur Form}}
|-
| Hardlinks turing complete
|
|-
| Opposite of safe mode
|
|-
| Predictive touchpad
|
|-
| Google docs from bootloader
| Google docs relies on programs and libraries much more complex than a bootloader could run.
|-
| Hardware acceleration red channel only
|
|-
| autoexec code posted by verified twitter users
|
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:[Coloured and styled as the logo]
:Google

:[Drop down box, implying recent searches]
:Google translate syntax highlighting
:Autodetect mixed bash zsh
:CPU temperature sensor limits
:GIF to XLS
:Clock speed jumper sample rate
:Clean reinstall keybinding
:Cron job to update crontab
:fsck Chrome extension
:Recursive font
:Regex matching valid ebnf
:Hardlinks turing complete
:Opposite of safe mode
:Predictive touchpad
:Google docs from bootloader
:Hardware acceleration red channel only

:[Bold, below page outline]
:I have no idea why my computers are always broken

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:1068: Swiftkey

2016-04-29T13:17:14Z

173.245.54.63:

Does the sequence account for the word before the previous word? If it does not account for that, I feel like it would be a combination of "Massachusetts Institute of Technology" and "United States of America." Which would imply that "of America" is a more common pair of words than "of Technology" for the sequence user. Both this and the original poster's statements make sense.
[[User:UnaSalusVictis|UnaSalusVictis]] ([[User talk:UnaSalusVictis|talk]]) 01:32, 25 November 2012 (UTC)UnaSalusVictis

What if "that" was mashing space on an empty message? Then SwiftKey would be "sorry" because it didn't know what to type.
This is the first comment I post, so sorry if I did it wrong.
[[Special:Contributions/188.114.106.185|188.114.106.185]] 18:39, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

The explanation reads "Swiftkey is probably saying "I'm so sorry that's never happened before" because the software doesn't know what to do." but what I got out of it is that cueball often says this - that is, he repeatedly tells people X has never happened before. That is to say, 'it' happens often, or he just makes mistakes in general all the time. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.39|108.162.216.39]] 15:17, 15 March 2016 (UTC)

How many messages would you have to make and send using this method (pressing the spacebar and letting SwiftKey choose the words) before those messages change SwiftKey's predictions and streamline all messages untill they become one word repeated over and over a thousand times over?

1572: xkcd Survey

2015-12-27T01:08:39Z

173.245.54.63: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1572
| date = September 2, 2015
| title = xkcd Survey
| image = xkcd_survey.png
| titletext = The xkcd Survey: Big Data for a Big Planet
}}
*The comic links to [http://goo.gl/forms/B5RaBeZ6nw The xkcd survey] on Google.

{{incomplete|This comic cannot be complete until Randall releases the raw and/or analysed data. The analysis needs to be mentioned here. Until then, this comic needs to be marked incomplete.}}

==Explanation==
As the comic image states, it links to a survey created with [https://www.google.com/forms/about/ Google Forms], containing a series of questions. The questions range from mundane typical survey questions such as “Do you have any food allergies?”, to rather strange, such as “Fill this text box with random letters by randomly mashing keys on your keyboard.” (See [[1530: Keyboard Mash]]).

The stated goal of the survey is to “create an interesting and unusual data set for people to play with”. A strange data set is a ripe opportunity for a sampling of readers. It's also supposed to be “a search for weird correlations” – presumably the goal is to be able to say things like “people who have been skydiving are (more/less) likely than average to dislike cilantro”. (See also [[882: Significant]] about finding presumably-spurious correlations between unrelated data.)

This explanation will undoubtedly expand when the data comes in.

{{w|Image_map#Client-side_image_map|HTML image maps}} is a technique for marking up areas of an image on a web page, such that each area can be a link without the whole image being a link. [[Randall]] could have used this type of image map to make only the “Click here to take the survey” button be a link, and none of the rest of the image. But he cannot get the hang of it (or knowing his skills, does not wish to take the time to learn it). Not getting the hang of HTML image maps was also referenced on [http://imgs.xkcd.com/store/tour-news.png the banner for his book tour] from [http://web.archive.org/web/20140901023821/http://xkcd.com/ September 2014]

The title text is a joke off of {{w|Big Data}}, which is a name for analysis of a set of data that includes a huge amount of information. He also says "for a big planet" because the Earth is big.{{Citation needed}}

The survey is closed, and the questions replaced with the text: "The xkcd survey is now closed. Thank you for all your answers! Response data is being collected and will be posted soon." As of 26 December 2015, the same caption is still there, with no indication of exactly how soon the data is intended to be posted.

==The Survey==
The Survey started off with the following statement:

<nowiki>This is an anonymous survey. After it's done, a database of everyone's responses will be posted.
There's no specific reason for any of the questions. The goal is to create an interesting and unusual data set for people to play with. This is obviously not going to be a real random sample of people, but in the interest of getting cooler data, if you're sharing this with friends, try sending it to some people who wouldn't normally see this kind of thing!

WARNING: This survey is anonymous, but your answers WILL BE MADE PUBLIC. Depending what you write, it's possible that someone may be able to identify you by looking at your responses. None of these questions should ask about anything too private, but don't write anything that you don't want people to see. If you're not comfortable answering a question, just skip it.</nowiki>

'''Note:''' The order of the possible answers (the list of possibilities) was random, and changed every time the page is reloaded. So do not try to fix the order here below...

===Plane===
*Have you ever been in a plane?
**No
**Yes

===Skydiving===
*Have you ever been {{w|Parachuting|skydiving}}?
**No, but I might someday
**Yes
**No

===The Dress===
*When you first saw {{w|The dress (viral phenomenon)|The Dress}}, what color was it? — (Also see [[1492: Dress Color]] and the [[Blag]] ENTRY [http://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ Color Survey Results]).
**White and gold
**A color combination not listed here
**I don't remember
**Blue and black
**What dress?

===Popular food===
*What's a really popular food that you don't like?
**''Text box''

===Floaters===
*When you look at a blue sky, do you see those swirly {{w|floater|floaters}} in your vision?
**Yes, constantly
**I'm not sure what things you mean
**Yes, occasionally
**No

===Running out of gas===
*Have you ever had a car run out of gas while you were driving it?
**Yes
**No

===Animals===
*Name the first five animals you can think of
**''Multi line text box''

===Weather===
*What's the weather like where you are right now?
**''Text box''

===Activities===
*Which of these can you do reasonably well?
*(Check all that apply)
**{{w|slam dunk|Dunk}} a basketball — A "slam dunk" or simply "dunk" is the act of jumping up and putting the ball through the net with a lot of force
**Tie a {{w|sheet bend}} or {{w|bowline}} — A sheet bend is a knot that joins two ropes together; A bowline is a knot used to form a fixed loop at the end of a rope
**Roller skate
**[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/high-heel-race/ Run in high heels]
**Drive a stick shift — See {{w|Manual transmission}} of a car
**Solve a {{w|Rubik's cube}}
**Dive headfirst off a diving board — See {{w|Springboard}} and {{w|Diving platform}}
**Ice skate
**{{w|Skateboarding|Skateboard}}
**Walk on {{w|stilts}} — Stilts are poles, posts or pillars used to allow a person to walk at a height above the ground
**Ski
**Cut vegetables with a knife
**Swim
**Ride a horse
**{{w|Unicycle}}
**Change the oil on a car
**Do a back {{w|Handspring (gymnastics)|handspring}} — A handspring is an exercise in gymnastics in which you jump through the air landing on your hands, then again landing on your feet
**Juggle — {{w|Toss juggling}} (the most recognizable form of juggling) consists in throwing objects into the air and catching them.

===Spelling===
*What word can you never seem to spell on the first try?
**''Text box''

===Condiments===
*Do you eat {{w|condiments}} directly out of the fridge as a snack?
**No
**Yes

===Thermostat===
*When you adjust a thermostat that was set by someone else, it's usually because you want the room to be...
**Cooler
**Warmer

===Clothing===
*What color is the shirt/dress/upper-body-clothing you're wearing right now, if any?
**''Text box''

===Colds===
*Do you get {{w|Common cold|colds}} often?
**No
**Yes

===Number===
*Pick a number from 1 to 100
**''Text box''

===Spelling===
*On a scale of 1 to 10, how good at spelling are you? (Note that the question does not specify which end of the scale is good or bad.)
**''Tick off list with numbers from 1 to 10.''

===Myers-Briggs===
*Do you know your {{w|Myers–Briggs_Type_Indicator|Myers-Briggs type}}?
**No
**Yes

===Astrology===
*Do you know your {{w|astrological sign}}?
**No
**Yes

===Siblings===
*How many older siblings do you have?
**''Text box''
*How many younger siblings do you have?
**''Text box''
*How many twin/etc siblings do you have?
**''Text box''

===Sleepiness===
*Do you feel sleepy a lot?
**Yes
**No

===Movie star===
*Name a movie star
**''Text box''

===Time in sun===
*Do you spend a lot of time in the sun?
**Yes
**No

===Broccoli===
*Does {{w|broccoli}} taste bitter to you?
**Yes
**No
**I've never had it

===Wakefulness===
*Do you regularly stay awake much later than you meant to?
**Yes
**No

===Keyboard mashing===
*Fill this text box with gibberish by mashing random keyboard keys (See [[1530: Keyboard Mash]]).
**''Broad multi-line text box''

===Driving===
*On a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is terrible and 3 is average, how good a driver do you think you are?
**''Tick off list with numbers from 1 to 5.''

===Allergies===
*Do you have any food allergies?
**No
**Yes

===Thunder===
*Have you heard thunder or seen lightning in the past year? — (The title-text of [[831: Weather Radar]] mentions the belief that thunderstorms seemed more common when one was a kid. Since the survey also asks for age this question is likely a test of that belief.)
**Yes
**No

===Flavor preference===
*Which do you prefer? (It seems to be missing the ''neither'' option...)
**Chocolate
**Vanilla

===Number (reprise)===
*Pick another number from 1 to 100 (Supposedly is should not be the same as in the first pick a number box).
**''Text box''

===Internet===
*When you think about stuff on the internet, where do you picture it being physically located? Even if you know it's not really how things work, is there a place you imagine websites and social media posts sitting before you look at them? If so, where is it?
**''Broad multi-line text box''

===Roll tongue===
*Can you {{w|Tongue rolling|roll your tongue}}?
**Yes
**No
**What?

===Toes===
*Can you pick things up with your toes?
**No
**Yes

===Age===
*How old are you?
**''Text box''

===Walls===
*What color are the walls around you right now?
**''Text box''

===Cell phone===
*What kind of cell phone do you have?
**{{w|iPhone}}
**{{w|Android (operating system)|Android}}
**Other smartphone
**Non-smartphone
**I don't have a cell phone

===Eating===
*What's the last thing you ate?
**''Text box''

===Difficult words===
*Which of these words do you know the meaning of?
*Some of these words don’t appear in any of the following dictionaries: the Oxford English Dictionary, the New Oxford American Dictionary, Wiktionary, or Dictionary.com. These words were probably made up by Randall. Perhaps the goal is to make people feel like they have a weak vocabulary because they don’t know many of the words, until they try look up the meanings and realize they have been tricked.
*More likely, the inclusion of fictitious words is a validity check. Hidden tests of the validity of responses is a part of good questionnaire design. For example, long lists of questions with "Agree-Disagree" responses will often have one or more items which are "reverse-coded" (phrased in a direction opposite to the rest of the questions): if a respondent provides a response which contradicts the pattern presented by the rest of the responses, this casts doubt on the validity of the other responses - suggesting that the respondent is not actually reading the questions properly. In the instance of Randall's survey, claiming to know the meaning of fictitious words would cast doubt on the respondent's claims of a knowing the meaning of the other words in the list.
*In addition, these false claims by respondents may themselves then be used as a source of data: for example, an analysis of the data could find that males (and/or skydivers) are more likely than females to over-represent their actual level of knowledge.
*[http://dictionary.reference.com/ Dictionary.com] has an index of difficulty (measured in pixels, with class name <code>difficulty-indicator</code>). We add it at the right of the words that have it. N/A means that a word isn't present in Dictionary.com, or that it doesn't have an index.
**Slickle – Not in any standard dictionary. However, it [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Slickle is in] the crowd-sourced in Urban Dictionary, as well as a suggested planet name in [[1253: Exoplanet Names]]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rife Rife] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rife 117]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/soliloquy Soliloquy] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/soliloquy 150]
**Fination – not in any dictionary. Appears infrequently in Victorian texts (e.g., [http://books.google.com/books?id=ghNOAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA245&dq=Fination 1889], [http://books.google.com/books?id=nwlCAQAAMAAJ&pg=PA214&dq=Fination 1839])
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/stipple Stipple] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stipple 144]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/peristeronic Peristeronic] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/peristeronic N/A]. Randall used it and defined it for readers in [[798: Adjectives]].
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/modicum Modicum] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/modicum 120]
**Trephony – Not available in reference dictionaries. An obsolete spelling of "{{w|Trephine}}" (especially when used as a verb for the process of {{w|Trepanning|trephination}}). Initially a transliteration of Greek [http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus:text:1999.04.0057:entry=tru/panon τρυπάω] for the same.
**Tribution – A regular construction from [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tribute#Verb Tribute (verb)] using "-tion" to transform into a noun. Using this regular formation, the term would mean the act of tribute, but no examples of actual use are available. It is worth noting that the use of "tribute" as a verb is generally considered obsolete and the few forms that persist in use relate primarily to the tributary and distibutary river systems
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/phoropter Phoropter] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/phoropter N/A] 1.An instrument used in eye examinations to determine an individual's prescription, the patient looking through various lenses at a chart on the other side.
**Unitory – Not available in reference dictionaries. An obsolete spelling of "Unitary," chiefly British. While long obsolete in normal usage, it persisted longer in mathematics that it did elsewhere (particularly for "Unitory Method" and "Unitory Matrixes"). Example of use: [https://books.google.com/books?id=Wl1BAQAAMAAJ&pg=RA5-PA27&lpg=RA5-PA27&dq=unitory+method&source=bl&ots=rfRKJXAJqV&sig=Wsr_gV7xG6Airah9Lx1M0hi-7Zc&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CDsQ6AEwBmoVChMInd_R9qTbxwIVChU-Ch36IAh_#v=onepage&q=unitory%20method&f=false (1)]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/amiable Amiable] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/amiable 123]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/salient Salient] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/salient 69]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/regolith Regolith] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/regolith 162]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/lithe Lithe] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lithe 105]
**Revergent – technical word from {{w|fern}} biology, referring to the edges of fern leaves which curl back on themselves (see [http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF00985044 Schölch, 2000])
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/hubris Hubris] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hubris 117]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fleek Fleek] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fleek N/A]
**Cadine – A rare loan-word for [https://fr.wiktionary.org/wiki/cadine a sultan's wife or a noble ottoman woman] which comes to English through the French. Examples of Use: [https://books.google.com/books?id=4yz-Y-_OOO0C&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q=cadine&f=false (1)]. Also the name of an [https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadine italian city].
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/apricity Apricity] – Not available in reference dictionaries. An obsolete word for the sun's heat in winter (e.g., [http://books.google.com/books?id=CFBGAAAAYAAJ&pg=PT76&dq=apricity Bailey 1775]). According to the What If? book (page 80), this is Randall's single favourite word in the English language.

===cat===
*Please type "cat" here:
**''Text box''

===Dreams===
*Do you usually remember your dreams?
**No
**Yes

===Text editors===
*Do you have strong opinions about text editors? (See {{w|Editor war}})
**Yes
**No

===Emoji===
*How do you feel about {{w|emoji}}?
**Negative 😠 (Unicode 1f620 - Angry face)
**Positive 😊 (Unicode 263a - Smiling face)
**Neutral 😐 (Unicode 1F610 - Neutral face)

===Snow===
*Does it ever snow where you live?
**No
**Yes

===Taste of food===
*Do you strongly dislike the taste or texture of any of these things?
**Eggs
**Chocolate ice cream
**Beer
**White wine
**{{w|Carbonation}} (or Fizz)
**Red wine
**{{w|Cilantro}}
**Coffee
**Tomatoes
**Yogurt

===Beverages===
*Which of these do you regularly drink?
**Caffeinated soda (e.g. Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper)
**Noncaffeinated soda
**Coffee
**Fruit juice
**Milk
**Beer
**Wine
**Tea
**{{w|Maple syrup}}
**Water

===Random words===
*Type five random words
**''Broad multi-line text box''

===Flying===
*Are you nervous about flying?
**Yes
**No
**A little

===Favorite number===
*On a scale of 1 to 5, which number is your favorite?
**''Tick off list with numbers from 1 to 5.''

===Sandwich===
*Which of these would you consider a {{w|sandwich}}?
*(Check all that apply)
**{{w|Taco}}
**{{w|Quesadilla}}
**{{w|Submarine sandwich|Sub/Hoagie}}
**{{w|Cheesesteak}}
**{{w|Hamburger}}
**{{w|Open-faced sandwich}}
**{{w|Calzone}}

===Animal affinity===
*Which of these describes you?
*(Check all that apply)
**Dog person
**Cat person
**Half-cat half-person
**Part of a subterranean race of dog people
**Literally named "Catherine Person"

===Sense of direction===
*Would you say you have a good sense of direction?
**Yes
**No

===Socks or underwear===
*Have you ever thrown out all your different pairs of socks/underwear, bought a bunch of replacements that were all one kind, and then told all your friends how great it was and how they should do it too?
**Yes
**No
**I did the throwing out thing, but didn't talk to everyone about it
**No, but I'm totally doing that now

==Transcript==
:[A simple comic with text only. The ''click here'' part is inside a black frame.]
:Introducing
:'''The xkcd Survey'''
:A search for weird correlations
:Note: This survey is anonymous, but
: all responses will be posted publicly 
:so people can play with the data.
:'''Click here to'''
:'''take the survey'''
:Or click here, or here.
:The whole comic is a link,
:because I still haven't gotten
:the hang of HTML imagemaps.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]

548: Kindle

2015-09-22T18:08:22Z

173.245.54.63: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 548
| date = February 25, 2009
| title = Kindle
| image = kindle.png
| titletext = I'm happy with my Kindle 2 so far, but if they cut off the free Wikipedia browsing, I plan to show up drunk on Jeff Bezos's lawn and refuse to leave.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Amazon Kindle}} is a device that allows people to read books via ebook format. The comic was published three weeks after {{w|Amazon.com|Amazon}} released the {{w|Amazon_Kindle#Kindle_2|Kindle 2}}, which included the ability to read {{w|Wikipedia}} articles via the 3G connection that was included with the device.

[[Cueball]] remarks that "ebooks are for chumps", but goes on to explain the real reason for purchasing a Kindle. Since it has free cellular web access, he could navigate through any city (presumably with 3G access), assisted by {{w|Wikipedia}} and {{w|Wikitravel}}.

[[Megan]] believes she has heard such a description of a device before and snatches the Kindle away from Cueball. When she scratches off the Amazon Kindle logo at the top of the device she reveals that the device is actually ''{{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (fictional)|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}''. This fictional electronic encyclopedia is described in the {{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|real-life franchise}} of the same name. Those works recount the tale of a travel editor who works for and owns a copy of the ''Guide'', which provides travel tips throughout the galaxy, including {{w|Mostly Harmless|an entry for Earth}}. The comic suggests that Amazon simply re-brands copies of the ''Guide'' as Kindles.

The title text refers to the great utility of having the ability to access Wikipedia for free on an easy-to-carry device. The speaker states that should this utility ever become disabled, he would stage a drunk protest on the lawn of {{w|Jeff Bezos}}, the CEO of Amazon.com.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is looking at a tablet.]
:Megan: A kindle? Ebooks, huh?
:Cueball: Ebooks are for chumps.
:Megan: Why get a kindle, then?
:Cueball: One reason:

:[Text is above the frame in which Cueball wanders a city with the tablet and with small bubbles forming above his head to indicate him being intoxicated.]
:Cueball (narrating): Free cellular web access. Even if I spend months broke and drunk in a strange city, I'll still be able to use Wikipedia and Wikitravel to learn about anything I need.

:[Megan takes the tablet from Cueball.]
:Megan: Why does that sound familiar?
:Megan: Gimme that.

:[Zoom in on the top of the tablet where the name is written:]
:Amazon Kindle

:[Zoom out to Megan who scratches at the top of the tablet.]
:Scrape, scrape, scrape

:[Zoom back to the damaged top of the tablet where a layer has been scraped off. This partly reveals a new name, where the first letter and the last two letters are only partly visible:]
:Hitchhiker's Guide

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

1549: xkcd Phone 3

2015-07-11T18:42:08Z

173.245.54.63: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1549
| date = July 10, 2015
| title = XKCD Phone 3
| image = xkcd_phone_3.png
| titletext = If you're not completely satisfied with the phone after 30 days, we will return you to your home at no cost.
}}

{{Incomplete|First draft}}

==Explanation==
This is a follow-up to [[1363: xkcd Phone]] and [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]]. It parodies common smartphone specs by attributing absurd or useless features to a fictional phone.

{| class="wikitable"
!Feature
!Explanation
|-
|'''Ear screen'''
| An overcomplicated term for a speaker, connecting a screen which emits light to send visual information and the portion of a speaker which vibrates to send auditory information. Comparing the two makes a speaker a screen for the ear.
|-
|'''Heartbeat accelerator'''
| A mashup of heartbeat sensor and accelerometer. May be some sort of external pacemaker. If that's the case, it's worrying that it only accelerates, potentially causing a positive feedback (heart attack). It may also be the result of the phone being so exciting or frustrating that it increases its user's heart rate.
|-
|'''MobilePay money clip'''
| While mobile pay is a form of payment involving electronic transfers via cellphone, this model includes a money clip; a way of holding physical bills together, which defeats the purpose of electronic payment. Whether this is a clip that transfers money digitally or the phrase mobile pay is just a marketing tag is unknown.
|-
|'''Siri, or whoever it was we put in here'''
| A joke on intelligent personal assistants. It also jokes that Siri and the like are actual people, trapped inside of phones.
|-
|'''Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through'''
| A reference to surface screens. Possible reference to smartphones with screen display wrapping one or more edges, like Samsung Galaxy Note Edge or Samsung Galaxy S6 Edge, or dual-screen smartphones with screen on the back (usually e-ink) like YotaPhone 2, or smartphones with minimal bezel like e.g. Sharp AQUOS Crystal.

Screen going ''all the way through'' would leave no place for innards of smartphone: processor, battery etc, and unless each layer is designed to be semi-transparent to see the inner '{{w|voxel}}s' the inner displays would be unseeable anyway.
|-
|'''theknot.com partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random'''
| [https://www.theknot.com/ theknot.com] is a website that assists in all stages of wedding planning. Due to this partnering, the phone has apparently obtained legal status as a {{w|Justice of the peace}} capable of performing legally valid marriages. It exerts this capability randomly, however, so the phone's owner (or potentially any other unsuspecting bystander) could suddenly find themselves with a new spouse without their knowledge, generally an undesired effect. Whether this would result in unintentional {{w|bigamy}} or if the phone restricts itself to pairing up singles, or even enacts divorce first if necessary, is left unclear.
|-
|'''Fingerprint randomizer'''
| Presumably randomises the user's fingerprint, which may or may not be inconvenient depending on the intent of the user. It is not clear whether the device will change the person's fingerprint into a human-like fingerprint that is randomly selected from all possibilities, or if it completely mangles the fingerprint of the user. Likely a cynical reference to fingerprint scanners, touted as password replacements but so far not very reliable.
|-
|'''USB E (hotswappable)'''
| A USB port that makes fun of the three current systems, A, B, and recently C, by skipping D completely and jumping to E. The port presumably charges the phone and allows to transfer files like normal, but this kind lets you perform {{w|Hot swapping}} (replacing computer system components without turning the system off) with it, which has always been a feature of USB, so mentioning it is redundant at best.
May be a reference to the eSATAp (Power over eSATA) hybrid port that is functioning as a USB and eSATA port at the same time. The Serial ATA bus interface has standardized hot swapping support.
|-
|'''Waterproof, but can drown'''
| Perhaps a reference to Siri or the person trapped in the phone drowning, but the phone itself staying functional. This is another human-like function, which the first 2 XKCD Phone comics had.
|-
|'''Foretold by prophecy'''
| Likely mocking people on the internet who attempt to predict when Apple will release their next device.
|-
|'''Runs Natively'''
| Usually a description given to ported software, as this statement doesn't make any sense when referring to hardware (notable {{w|Transmeta Crusoe|exceptions}} to the norm are few and far between). When software writers would like to run their apps on multiple platforms, they usually have three choices: re-compile the source code into each platform's codebase (often requiring tweaking to handle practical differences in resources between the systems); use a specially 'pre-portable' code that you can {{w|write once, run anywhere}}, such as Java, but requires a suitable interpreter to be written for each platform (and may still require code tweaks to absorb differences in implementations); create a specific emulator/virtual machine to allow existing code to 'see' the platform it was written for, despite the underlying system.
Only the first option is 'running natively', often the most optimised and thus best-performing option, and is usually qualified such as "Runs <Software Name> natively", for particular packages full compiled upon that platform. It would also make little sense for the OS ''itself'' to be non-native, except when intentionally emulating another system (ideally on a more powerful system that can power past the inefficiencies of conversion and translation).
Or, in this case, it may be that the phone has legs and can literally run.
|-
|'''Wristband'''
| Probably mocking trending smart watches
|-
|'''Wireless discharging'''
| Many modern cellphones feature wireless charging, which uses electromagnetic induction to charge the battery of the device. This model, apparently uses the same technology to discharge the battery; which, of course is something undesired, as one needs the battery's energy to run the phone. May also refer to the standard behavior of the phone's antenna, which communicates wirelessly via EM radio waves, but discharges the battery in doing so. It could also be simply and literally describing the nature of all cell phones, and indeed all battery-powered electronic devices, to gradually use the battery (discharging) when there are no wires attached (wireless), since wireless also means no power cord is plugged in (and assuming the absence or non-use of the aforementioned wireless charging function, which this phone may not even have).
|-
|'''Magnetic stripe'''
| Likely a dig at the NFC (near-field communication) wireless radio modules in many modern phones. NFC allows, among others functions, mobile payment. This magnetic stripe could be a cheap way to imitate payment functionality, but "compatible" with classic credit cards.
Magnetic stripes are a data storage method used by devices such as credit cards and key cards to hold and transfer small amounts of information like key codes. Usually cellphones don't have them as they utilize more robust and protected ways to store and transmit data (such as NFC). The magnetic stripe shown would likely be unusable with current magnetic stripe readers due to the phone's thickness, in contrast to that of regular cards, thus breaking all imagined 'compatibility' arguments.
It would also be very annoying as it seems to block part of the screen.
|-
|'''2 AA batteries (not included)'''
| A phrase usually shown on small, low-powered, electronic devices like remote controllers, and not on cellphones; which use lithium-ion batteries and need to be constantly recharged for continuous use.
The apparently thin phone (according to the scale as judged by the wristband) would also preclude inserting AA batteries, unless a protruding battery compartment is hidden out of view on the back of the phone.
Alternatively could mean two Anti-Aircraft (artillery) "batteries" which would be large-caliber guns.
|-
|'''Boneless'''
| Reference to meat or fish products being boneless, i.e. having all the bones removed, making it convenient to cook or eat. Unclear why a phone would be boneless since it is mostly inedible, perhaps a reference to the person trapped inside having their bones removed to make them easier to fit inside, or stating that the phone is flexible. (A possible reference to the iPhone 6's reported problems with its chassis, where it {{w|IPhone 6#Chassis bending|could bend under pressure}})
|}

The phrase "We made another one®©™" is a reference to how phone companies release new phones very often, and the trademarks that surround the phone itself.

The title text is a joke on guarantees and customer service. Usually the advertisement says that if the customer is not satisfied with the product, they'll refund the money and take the product back at no additional cost. In this case they guarantee the customer they'll send him/her home without charge; implying they won't fix or refund anything. Or that (due to anticipated but unspecified faults of some kind), the phone's owner will ''need'' help to get back home when things go wrong, and probably be thankful for such assistance, in yet another example of a worryingly non-specific 'reassurance'.

==Transcript==
:Ear screen
:Heartbeat accelerator
:MobilePay money clip
:Siri, or whoever it was we put in here
:Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through
:theknot.con partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random
:Fingerprint randomizer
:USB E (hotswappable)
:waterproof, but can drown
:Foretold by prophecy
:Runs Natively
:Wristband
:Wireless discharging
:Magnetic stripe
:2 AA batteries (not included)
:boneless

:Introducing
:The XKCD phone 3
:we made another one®©™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Smartphones]]