explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

36: Scientists

2015-03-03T20:46:15Z

173.245.56.159: Possibility of friends

{{comic
| number = 36
| date = 
| title = Scientists
| image = scientists.jpg
| titletext = A leading expert characterized the situation as 'retarded'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic plays on the type of statement that news reports often use: "in what [group of experts] are calling '[quote]'", to add more weight and credibility to their stories. In this case, [[Cueball]] is using the phrase to attempt to add gravitas to the (relatively mundane) fact that his shoes are missing and he thinks it's "pretty gay" by assigning this opinion to scientists (rather than it being, presumably, his friend's or his own opinion). The same joke is at play in the image text where a leading expert thinks the situation is "retarded".

The phrases "pretty gay" and "retarded" are politically incorrect slang for "dumb", and so they are the opposite type of speech expected of experts on news reports.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is staring at an empty box on the floor.]
:In what scientists are calling "pretty gay", I can't find my shoes.

==Trivia==
*Comic #36 was originally posted as a duplicate of comic [[10: Pi Equals]]. This was corrected some time between [http://web.archive.org/web/20060422011355/http://www.xkcd.com/c36.html April 22, 2006] and [http://web.archive.org/web/20060705231511/http://xkcd.com/c36.html July 5, 2006] when the current version showed up.

{{Comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Language]]

51: Malaria

2015-03-03T05:32:56Z

173.245.56.159: Pox parties are inferior.

{{comic
| number = 51
| date = January 21, 2006
| title = Malaria
| image = malaria.jpg
| titletext = The malaria party was David's idea.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Malaria}} is a mosquito-borne infectious disease of humans and other animals caused by protists (a type of microorganism) of the genus ''Plasmodium''. It begins with a bite from an infected female mosquito, which introduces the protists, via its saliva, into the circulatory system, and ultimately to the liver where they mature and reproduce. The disease causes symptoms that typically include fever and headache, which in severe cases can progress to coma or death.

It plays on the idea of a {{w|pox party}} where adults bring their children to deliberately expose them to a virus to promote immunity. This is commonly done for childhood diseases like {{w|measles}} and {{w|chickenpox}} and have mainly been replaced by vaccines. Some of these illnesses are more serious for adults than children. After contracting chickenpox once, the immune system has developed antibodies for it and so is not vulnerable to the virus anymore (except in the case of {{w|shingles}}). However, malaria does not work this way, but instead once one has suffered from malaria, it can recur on its own even after apparent healing from symptoms. So having a malaria party would not promote immunity, but only make people sick and further vulnerable in the future.

Like in [[42: Geico]] and [[100: Family Circus]] [[Randall]] attributes this idea to the unknown friend David.

==Transcript==
:[People wearing party hats, a discarded balloon to the side.]
:We had a malaria party, but it turned out not to be very much fun.

==Trivia==
*This is the forty-ninth comic originally posted to livejournal. The previous comic was [[54: Science]], the next is [[52: Secret Worlds]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal]]

Talk:1464: Santa

2015-01-17T06:03:16Z

173.245.56.159:

Merry Christmas! --[[User:RenniePet|RenniePet]] ([[User talk:RenniePet|talk]]) 06:29, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

I think I have done the transcript... [[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 06:38, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

And I did the explanation and put everything in there, I think. Looks like we're already pretty much done! [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.174|173.245.56.174]] 06:44, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

I am not sure the word Puportedly fits here: "the omniscience he purportedly possesses". I think Purportedly means the character/caricature is carrying on the idea that.... {{unsigned|Weatherlawyer}}

It should maybe be mentioned that this comic is a turn of the screw on the many "The physics of Santa" joke articles - The usual chain e-mail or satire web page calculations that take it seriously the logistical calculations for Santa and end up concluding that he should beat the speed of light to deliver the presents. Randall doesn't settle on calculating the logistics for reindeer performance or route planning, he goes a step further and makes the calculations for the refuse. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.49.106|173.245.49.106]] 08:31, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

Well maybe all those calories are what allows him to move at the insane relativistic speeds needed to visit every house on Christmas eve. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.56|108.162.216.56]] 08:47, 24 December 2014 (UTC)
: Exactly. And even if it wasn't, there'd still be a Mr Fusion for the poop. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.214|108.162.250.214]] 22:18, 24 December 2014 (UTC)
:There's no need to move at relativistic or trans-light speeds when you can appear in multiple places simultaneously [https://comicdomwrecks.wordpress.com/2010/10/01/countdown-to-fables-100-jiminy-christmas/]. - Equinox [[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.117|199.27.128.117]] 17:41, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

We have video proof of how Santa handles this! http://youtu.be/b9TTz3R5SmI --[[User:Elipongo|Elipongo]] ([[User talk:Elipongo|talk]]) 09:03, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

No Christmas cat.? [[User:Halfhat|Halfhat]] ([[User talk:Halfhat|talk]]) 12:12, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

Santa's metabolic system is perfectly efficient at converting cookies to CO2 hang H2O which is exhaled. He needs to be efficient at converting cookie energy if he plans on being so active. He is also the main source of global warming. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.185|173.245.56.185]] 13:11, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

As a third option, what if Santa doesn't eat the cookies at all, but just redistributes them to other hungry children? --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.217.131|108.162.217.131]] 18:41, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

What part of the tradition(s) force an entity to eat more than he requires or wants?
Since there is generally supposed to be a chimney involved in his manifestations, why would he have to eat them rather than deal with them in the more traditional way of dealing with things that get sacrificed. Or any other way he chooses. If he has just made romm in his sack, he could easily store a few offerings in it. Why has nobody considered the children?[[User:Weatherlawyer|Weatherlawyer]] ([[User talk:Weatherlawyer|talk]]) 18:13, 5 January 2015 (UTC)

Perhaps understandably, I first read the line in the explanation as " ... butt off the side of his sleigh." [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 22:27, 24 December 2014 (UTC)

As a native English speaker, I'd like to say that "few" is relative, and defies any hard limits. A "few" transistors, for me, might mean dozens (as opposed to hundreds or more). A "few"lightyears might be 10 or so. The use of the word "few" can't be analyzed with such hard limits as 2 to 5. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.169|108.162.221.169]] 17:47, 25 December 2014 (UTC)

There are only a few countries where kids leave cookies for Santa (I'm guessing North America and some European countries). That would mean fewer than 100 million kids. [[Special:Contributions/103.22.200.195|103.22.200.195]] 05:36, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

: 32% of the world population are christians, and even some non-christians celebrate Christmas. [[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 09:56, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

:: Yes, but leaving cookies for Santa is not integral part of christian Christmas celebration, not speaking about non-christian. There are more children who believe Santa is bringing them gifts than children who are leaving cookies for Santa. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 13:53, 27 December 2014 (UTC)

::: Some children may be leaving cookies "for Santa", but suspect that their parents (or older siblings) are actually consuming them. It may be possible that Santa is not consuming as many cookies as this comic estimates. {{unsigned ip|108.162.237.186}}

:::: Maybe, but he's gotta be eating most of them. There's no way parents can eat all those cookies in one night! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.169|108.162.221.169]] 07:24, 28 December 2014 (UTC)

::: Cookies aren't (traditionally) left in the UK. Even with the usual translation of "cookie" as "biscuit". A glass of sherry and a mince pie is our variant (at least locally to me), and of course a carrot for Rudolph. Or one or other of whichever of the on-duty reindeer is next due a nibble, which would somewhat mitigate the problem of "carrot throughput" similar to the cookie one, although ultimately mid-air ejection is probably the answer in their case anyway. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.191|141.101.98.191]] 20:42, 28 December 2014 (UTC)

And despite the chill of the upper atmosphere where Santa would be flying, no one has yet made the joke that, even in this post-Cold War era, there's still reason to be concerned about Icy BMs. {{unsigned ip|173.245.52.88}}

Santa, instead of eating and flushing the cookie excrement, he could just flush the cookies down the toilet. Why do all of the cookies have to go through santa's digestive system? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.159|173.245.56.159]] 06:03, 17 January 2015 (UTC)

1465: xkcd Phone 2

2015-01-17T05:51:13Z

173.245.56.159: /* Explanation */ added my interpretation for why it has density control

{{comic
| number = 1465
| date = December 26, 2014
| title = xkcd Phone 2
| image = xkcd_phone_2.png
| titletext = Washable, though only once.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a followup to [[1363: xkcd Phone]], which debuted the original xkcd phone. Like xkcd Phone "1", this comic parodies modern smartphone advertising with a promotional image for a fictional phone. Like the previous xkcd phone, the advertisement features a useless tagline (very few people can use two phones at the same time) and touts a variety of features which are either pointless, misleading, or physically impossible. Clockwise, from the top left, they are:

*'''MaxHD: Over 350 pixels per screen''': 350 pixels is not very impressive, as each would be about 0.5×0.5 cm in size, making the resolution hopelessly blocky. Even if it implies 350 pixels along the edge, this is still less than standard definition TV (PAL gives 576 lines of horizontal resolution). Likely a reference to HD+, FullHD, QuadHD and other marketing expressions for screen resolutions, by which common users are often confused. In [[732: HDTV]] Randall has observed that HD is not an especially high resolution when compared with smartphone or computer monitors. This one is even worse by far, but MaxHD sounds similar to FullHD, so it could fool some users into thinking that this is equal or better.
: ''Note:'' A high pixel density display is more than 200 pixels per '''''inch''''', not per '''''screen'''''. An example would be the Retina Display in Apple hardware which varies from 218 pixels per inch to 401 pixels per inch depending on the device.
*'''Always-on Speaker''': An always-on microphone is a genuine feature, allowing voice activated intelligent personal assistant software such as Google's "Google Now", Apple's "Siri" or Microsoft's "Cortana" to respond without having to be turned on. An always-on speaker would be less useful especially if it implies the phone is always making noise.
*'''Blood Pressure reliever''': This appears to be where a real phone would have its front facing camera. This could imply that it's a sharp part that you can cut yourself on, thus ''relieving'' your blood pressure, or else implying that the other features of the phone are so frustrating that a feature was required to relieve the users' blood pressure. This is likely a play on modern smartphones with built-in heart rate/blood pressure sensors.
*'''Auto-Rotating Case:''' Phones often feature an "auto-rotating screen", meaning that the display switches between portrait and landscape mode depending on its orientation with respect to gravity. But the case is a physical part of the phone, so making a case that did '''not''' "auto-rotate" with the phone would be the real challenge.
*'''Ribbed:''' A reference to ribbed {{w|condom}}s, which are often advertised as superior to standard ones because the texture can be more physically stimulating to the genitalia. Some other objects can be advertised with the word ribbed as well, but mostly in the context where it allows a firmer grip on the device when wet. Since phones are usually not meant to be used wet, this is a fairly useless feature. May also be a reference to the first phone where the "exterior may be frictionless".
*'''Waterproof (inside only)''': Waterproofing is done to the outside to prevent water from getting in. Exactly what "inside only" means is unclear (the case may be porous, or it may prevent water from ''escaping'', or maybe it's only guaranteed to be waterproof when used indoors but not outside in the rain) but it's clear that the designers have missed the point.
*'''Googleable''': Another non-feature. Advertising as "-able" is a way for marketing to add features, without really adding features. This may be (for example) a recyclable paper bag, when paper is normally recyclable. Any term may be "Googled", so being "Googleable" is not an actual feature. Alternatively, while "Googleable" meaning "being able to be Googled" is a non-feature, the related concept of "being able to Google" is a legitimate feature that a phone may advertise, as in having a Google search app built in.
*'''Cheek toucher''': The screen will touch your cheek when making a hand-held phone call. Obviously a redundant/pointless feature to advertise.
*'''Cries if lost:''' Arguably a useful function, as it would help the owner find the cellphone in case it was lost. This is offset by how annoying it would sound if it happened to cry with a human voice. May refer to people's habit of calling their own cellphones to help find it. It also resembles the first xkcd phone's functions of 'Screaming when falling' and 'Saying hi when lit'.
*'''Bug drawer:''' This is most likely the cover for other ports, though it looks like a small drawer, capable of only holding bug-sized items. Possibly a joke on software bugs, which would, being virtual rather than physical, easily fit inside this area. SD cards containing software bugs may also fit in this area. May also be a reference to "Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal" from the original ''xkcd Phone'' comic.
*'''Coin slot:''' In most phones, this would be the charging port. Payphones have coin slots, not smartphones. It is unclear what use such a feature would have, or if it implies that the phone either cannot be recharged through this slot as usual or if cash payment is somehow required to charge the phone.
*'''Scroll lock:''' A computer key on most keyboards which is practically never used. This feature seems to be placed where a usual cellphone's "home" button is, which would make it very frustrating. Despite [[978|a previous xkcd strip]], the Scroll Lock button was '''''not''''' invented by {{w|Steven Chu}}.
*'''OS by Stackoverflow®:''' [http://stackoverflow.com/ Stack Overflow] is a very useful and popular question/answer forum for programmers, and many recent software products probably have benefited from advice given there, so Randall may be giving credit where credit really is due. Or it may be a reference to the rampant problem of code reuse, where programmers use the pre-written code on Stack Overflow rather than writing their own, regardless of the fact that the code on Stack Overflow may contain bugs, not be applicable to the programmer's situation, or otherwise cause problems for their specific program. Alternatively, it could be saying that the OS was written by the people on Stack Overflow who go there ''with'' programming issues, implying that the OS was written from code that was posted as not working.
*'''3D Materials:''' All real materials are three-dimensional, so this feature is not special.
*'''Dog Noticer''': Can be interpreted as either alerting the user to nearby dogs, or alerting nearby dogs of the user. The former is very situational, and the latter is probably a negative.
*'''FitBit® Fitness Evaluator''': {{w|Fitbit}} make wristbands that measure heart rate, count user steps, and act as an aid to planning an exercise program. This comic is published on Boxing Day (26th December) 2014 and is relevant as Fitbits are a popular Holiday Gift at this time. However, the name "Fitness Evaluator" suggests that the product merely gives an evaluation on the user's fitness, which may mean that in practice it only criticizes the user's weight, diet etc. Another interpretation is that this monitors the fitness ''of'' the user's FitBit, that is, the state of the armband the person is wearing.
*'''Volume and density control:''' A pun between {{w|volume (disambiguation)|volume}} as in speaker loudness, and {{w|volume}} as in a physical property inversely related to {{w|density}}. Interpreting it as the latter, apparently this feature would allow the user to change the size of the phone (which would indeed be a very useful feature, or a [[1422: My Phone is Dying|very]] {{w|Black hole|worrying}}) one, thus changing the volume and the density. It may be able to affect it's mass (instead of volume) in some unexplained way. Note that some computer mice indeed have a feature where the user can put weights inside the case to customise the weight and thus actually affect its density.

Like the previous xkcd phone comic, the title text continues the list of features:
*'''Washable, though only once.''': Nothing prevents the phone from physically being washed, however after the first time doing this the phone will obviously cease to function. A play on phrases "washing machine safe" or "dishwasher safe" in real advertisements.

==Transcript==
:[An image of a smartphone, with many labels pointing to it. Clockwise from the top left they read:]
:MaxHD: Over 350 pixels per screen
:Always-on speaker
:Blood pressure reliever
:Auto-rotating case
:Ribbed
:Waterproof (interior only)
:Googleable
:Cheek toucher
:Cries if lost
:Bug drawer
:Coin slot
:Scroll lock
:OS by Stackoverflow®
:3D materials
:Dog noticer
:FitBit® fitness evaluator
:Volume and density control

:[Below the phone:]
:Introducing
:'''The xkcd phone 2'''
:A phone for your other hand®

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Smartphones]]

131: Fans

2015-01-17T04:27:27Z

173.245.56.159: Added link to explanation

{{comic
| number = 131
| date = July 21, 2006
| title = Fans
| image = fans.png
| titletext = It's not going to break the fan, bouncing a rubber ball off the wall isn't going to dent it, and the roof can hold me just fine. You LIED!
}}

== Explanation ==
This comic is probably best understood when you have (young) kids that explore everything expensive you have in your household. And while they are not breaking the CD tray off the DVD-player, putting gum in your shoes, or flushing your mobile phone down the toilet, you always consider the possibility that they ''might''. So you come up with various reasons along the lines of "You will break it, and pay for it" if they so much as touch these items. This can be frustrating to children, who feel they don't have the freedom to explore.

In the comic, [[Cueball]] lets go of these frustrations as he finally owns his own place. He buys an oscillating fan and grabs its head, therefore locking the mechanism that rotates it. As it is safeguarded by a release stub, it will make a clicking sound. So, Cueball comes to the conclusion that his mother's constant yelling as he was near the fan wasn't necessary in the first place.

This shares a theme with [[357: Flies]]

The title text gives more falsehoods that his mother told him: that bouncing a ball against a wall will dent the wall, or that the roof is too weak to hold his weight.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball holding fan in place.]
:''click click''
:Best thing about having my own apartment: Holding fans in place so they twitch helplessly and make that clicking sound without my mom yelling at me.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

Talk:1473: Location Sharing

2015-01-14T05:34:33Z

173.245.56.159:

It's a reference to the Uncertainty Principle, a property of quantum mechanics that states that position and momentum cannot be known at the same time.
[[Special:Contributions/199.27.133.98|199.27.133.98]] 05:20, 14 January 2015 (UTC)
----
I may be thinking too much into this, but couldn't she also not want the website to know her mass? Momentum is Mass*Velocity, and Velocity can be derived from change in position
[[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.159|173.245.56.159]] 05:34, 14 January 2015 (UTC)

1291: Shoot for the Moon

2014-07-21T23:12:30Z

173.245.56.159: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1291
| date = November 15, 2013
| title = Shoot for the Moon
| image = shoot_for_the_moon.png
| titletext = Shoot for the Moon. If you miss, you'll end up co-orbiting the Sun alongside Earth, living out your days alone in the void within sight of the lush, welcoming home you left behind.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic and the title text both parody the motivational quote attributed to {{w|Les Brown (speaker)|Leslie Brown}}, which originally says, "Shoot for the Moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

In the original form, the quote is figurative, meant to inspire people to pursue ambitious goals, reasoning that even if they fail to achieve them, they may still accomplish other great things while trying. The comic and title text, on the other hand, attempt to interpret the quote literally, exploring the humorous aspects of doing so. Megan wants to destroy and kill the moon in order to humble it, feeling taunted by its orbiting merrily over her head, and so she inspires her students to physically attempt to destroy the moon whenever possible, only to become sheepish when she realizes the moon is right behind her, as if it were a person who could become offended by what she is saying. This is, of course, a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RightBehindMe common comedy trope].

The [[title text]] invokes another literal interpretation of the phrase - if a space vehicle aims at the Moon and misses, it will end up in a new orbit, possibly (depending on its velocity) escaping from the Earth-Moon system and following a separate but nearby orbit around the Sun. A solar orbit is very hard, very fuel-intensive, and very lengthy to return from, despite physically meaning you will remain very close to Earth, even close enough to see it with some optical magnification. Thus, as a hypothetical space explorer's life support gradually ran out because his craft could not make it back to Earth in time, he would be taunted by Earth remaining close to him.

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands at a podium.]
:Megan: Students, shoot for the moon. If you miss,

:[A surprisingly lunar-like object is starting to edge into the frame.]
:Megan: '''''SHOOT AGAIN'''''. Keep shooting and never stop.

:[The moon is now almost entirely in-frame now.]
:Megan: Someday, one of us will destroy that stupid skycircle. And— ... What? What are you all—

:[The moon is now in frame, lurking ominously in the background.]
:Megan: ...it's right behind me, isn't it? '''''Shit'''''. Everyone act casual.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)

2014-07-21T08:31:47Z

173.245.56.159: /* Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience */

{{comic
| number = 826
| date = November 26, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)
| before = ''Explainxkcd note: Don't try and click on this image to see the exhibits. Visit [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ the actual comic] instead''
| image = guest week zach weiner smbc.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Zach Weiner of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. When I was stressed out, Zach gave me a talk that was really encouraging and somehow involved nanobots.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Review for grammar}}
This comic is drawn by a guest webcomic artist, Zack Weiner, following the theme of "Guest Week". Zach is the author of the webcomic [http://www.smbc-comics.com/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]. The [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ original comic] is interactive. It will show images of the exibits (see below) by clicking on them.

The entire comic is a hypothetical "{{w|Smithsonian Museum}} of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement." It is an common occurrence that curious children will ask simple questions about science to their parents, such as, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" and a parent could respond, "Well Susie, the sky is blue to match your dress."

===Hall Of Misunderstood Science===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about scientific topics. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_27.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that basilisks exist, and that they live under your bed. The basilisk is a mythological reptilian monster that was described as having the ability to turn other living things to stone with its gaze. This story might be believed by children because children often imagine that a monster or a dangerous creature is hiding under the bed at night, and verifying that the basilisk is under the bed might turn the child to stone.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_26.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that "In my day" molecules did not exist, and everything was just atoms. Molecules are chains of atoms, and therefore more complex than atoms. This story might be believed by children because old people often tell unbelievable and questionably credible "In my day" stories about how different, or in this case less complicated, things when they where younger. This story may sound no less credible then these stories to a child. Also, like most "In my day" stories there is at least a grain of truth. The word atom has changed its meaning over time; at one time all discovered molecules were called {{w|atomism|atoms}}, as when they were modified their properties changed. (Alternatively, according to the Big Bang theory of the formation of the universe, there was a period billions of years ago when atoms had formed, but not yet combined into molecules.)

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_25.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that magnets are only attracted to each other when they are teenagers. This is a inside joke that the child is not in on about how there is a loss of sexual desire in adults. This story might be believed because magnets are seen as mysterious and possibly magical by children.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_24.png|In this exhibit the plaque on the statue of Jesus claims that {{w|snow}} is composed of Jesus' {{w|dandruff}}. This story might be believed because some children take the expression that {{w|rain}} is "God's tears", and this would be a logical extension.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_20.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the reason that there are only four components of {{w|DNA}} is because there where only four letters back then. The following letters describe the {{w|nucleotides}} that make up DNA chains: "G" {{w|guanine}}, "A" {{w|adenine}}, "T" {{w|thymine}}, and "C" {{w|cytosine}}. This story might be believed by children as DNA can be thought as an instruction set to build life. Instructions contain words, and therefore the letters G, A, T, and C can be thought of as the letters that the words in the instructions are made from.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_23.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that you are more vulnerable to the {{w|Bogeyman|boogie man}} when you are sleeping. "The Boogie Man" is a common legend used to scare young kids; he typically hides in closets and underneath beds, and attacks sleeping children. This story might be believed by children as some believe in the boogie man.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_22.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that water increases its size to frighten {{w|predator|predators}}. {{w|Ice}} is less dense than liquid {{w|water}}. This is an unusual property as most materials are more dense in solid form. This might be believed by a child because many animals appear to increase there size to frighten away other threatening animals. A {{w|rhinoceros}} although not traditionally a predator, would be a predator of water.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_21.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|antimatter|anti-matter}} is composed of half ant and half matter. The prefix anti means "the opposite of", but sounds similar to the word ant. This story might be believed by children because a hyphen is often used to combine two words together with different meanings to create a word with the meaning of both. Combining the words ants and matter could produce a word meaning something composed of both ants and matter.
</gallery>

===Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience===
This section holds falsehoods that a dad might use to frighten his children. Fear is often used to discourage children from disobeying their parents. It is an interactive experience, so visitors can try something for themselves, then learn the frightening fact it indicates.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_19.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that helium makes your voice higher because you are about to explode. Helium makes your voice high-pitched, because sound travels faster in helium than in oxygen, and it does not explode because it is a noble gas. This story might be used by parents to discourage children from inhaling helium. This story might regrettably convince a child that they are dying after they inhale helium.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_18.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that if your middle finger is longer than all the others, you are an alien half-breed. For almost all people the middle finger is longer than all the others. This story might be used by parents to tease their children. This story might regrettably convince a child that one of their parents is a alien, and therefore not to be trusted.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_16.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that one of the cups of {{w|Jell-O|Jello} had a rabbit brain instead of a cherry. Cherries are a common ingredient in gelatin based deserts. One cup is missing and in the hands of the child, possibly eaten. This story might be used by parents to tease their children, or discourage them from eating more dessert. This story might regrettably convince a child that they ate the brain of a small cute fluffy animal.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_17.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that monsters will eat you if you do not make your bed. In some stories monsters specifically prey on children. This story might be used by parents to encourage children to make their beds. This story might regrettably convince a child that there are monsters under their beds and frighten them so they can not sleep.
</gallery>

===Concessions===
This area holds concession stands, which sell food. There are misleading names on each stand. The pop-outs in this section are based on jokes parents tell there children to frighten them about food.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_15.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces the name of the concession stand as KFP. The parent claims that the "P" stands for phoenix, and the operator adds "also ponies". KFP is a a parody of Kentucky Fried Chicken ({{w|KFC}}), a popular fast food chain which specializes in fried chicken. A phoenix is a mythical bird that throws it self into a fire and later rises from the ashes. This story might be believed by children because phoenixes are birds and a fried one may look similar to a chicken.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_14.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ground beef}} and further enplanes that ground beef is beef that is found on the ground. The word ground sometimes refers to the floor other times is past tense of the word grind. This story might be believed by children because the words are spelled and pronounced the same.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_13.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ice cream}} and claims that ice cream is really spelled eyes cream, and always composed of eyeballs. This story might be believed by children because the words "eyes cream" sounds similar to "ice cream".
</gallery>

===Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about history. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_11.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Genghis Khan}} achieved his victories by using dragons. Genghis Khan was a Mongolian conqueror who conquered almost all of Asia and much of Europe founding the {{w|Mongol Empire}}, and creating the then-largest continuous land empire in history. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_12.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the {{w|Crimean War}} was a war on crime. The Crimean War is an often forgotten Eastern European conflict between Russia and a European coalition with aims to stop Russia's expansion. This story might be believed by children because adding an "a" to a people group sometimes is used to create a country name, making Crimea sounds similar to a nation of criminals.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_10.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that wizards where in control during {{w|The Renaissance}}. The Renaissance is a cultural movement in Europe that took place after the Dark ages. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_3.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Star Wars}} is actual history. {{w|The Renaissance}}. Star Wars is a fantastical science fiction movie. This story might be believed by children because the movie begins "a long time ago in a galaxy far away", and some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_9.png|In this exhibit the poster claims that {{w|France}} does not exist. The adult in the comic continues to attempt to convince the children that France does not exist. This is supposed to be funny because the knowledge of France as a country is common. This may be parodying the global warming debate, a common theme in both XKCD and SMBC.
</gallery>

===Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics===
Each exhibit is a display set up to explain uncomfortable topics that children may ask their parents about. The answers given so that the children do not ask further questions.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_8.png|In this exhibit the sign on the box covering up the couple in bed claims that naked wrestling is perfectly normal, but kids should never engage in it. "Naked wrestling" is a common euphemism for sex. A parent may give this explanation if a child walks in on there parents having sex and they feel that the children are too young to understand

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_7.png|In this exhibit the sign over the stand claims your parents drink alcohol to prevent you from drinking it as alcohol is a poison. Alcohol is a toxin. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks there parents why they drink any alcohol if it is bad for you, and did not want to explain the pleasurable experience of alcohol because it might encourage children to drink.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_5.png|In this exhibit the banner claims that mommies have big tummies because storks like chubby girls. Some parents tell there children that storks deliver babies so that they do not have to discuss the topic of sex. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks why, if a stork delivers babies, there mommies is changing while she is pregnant.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_6.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that grandma did not die, but is going back to Saturn. Some parents tell there children that there loved ones have gone away, instead of telling them the truth that they are dead. Going to Saturn for revenge is added for comic value. A parent may give this explanation to who asks where there loved one is, as telling the child that the loved one is dead may cause pain to both the child and the parent.
</gallery>

===Miscellaneous===
<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_4.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|dinosaur|dinosaurs}} are made of bones only. The fossil record includes the imprints of the other tissues of dinosaurs including skin, nails, teeth, and feathers. This story might be believed by children because the majority of all displays of dinosaurs in museums only include bones.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_2.png|The Bathrooms have 3 doors. Clicking reveals that there is one for each gender of humans, and one for "Korgmen & Spangs". This is most likely a reference to the Marvel alien species {{w|Korg_(comics)|the Korg}}.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_1.png|In this exhibit the sign (which the children can not see) explains that the {{w|autostereogram|Magic eye}} poster that the children are staring at contains no hidden images. These pictures contain hidden 3D images. To see these images you have to look in front of or behind the image. This takes time and many people find it difficult or impossible to do.
</gallery>

==Transcript==
:In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum:
:The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling
:An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement

:(Click to view exhibits!)

:The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.

:Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children.
:Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.

:Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together.
:Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.

:Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both.
:Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.

:Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him.
:Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!

:Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened.
:Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.

:Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere.
:Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.

:Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it.
:Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then.
:Dad, to child: Told you so.

:Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling.
:Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!

:The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.

:Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed.
:Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.

:Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it.
:Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.

:Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder.
:Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.

:Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed.
:Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.

:The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.

:Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating.
:Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".

:Booth: A concession stand.
:Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground.
:Dad, to child: Told you.

:Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye.
:Booth label: EYES CREAM
:Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled?
:Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.

:The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon.
:Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.

:Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows.
:Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.

:Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it.
:Exhibit label: The Renaissance
:Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.

:Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard.
:Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously.
:Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.

:The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label.
:Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.

:Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle.
:Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it.
:Dad: You're welcome.

:Exhibit: A large bird.
:Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.

:Exhibit: A rocket ship.
:Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.

:In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.

:Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton.
:Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES.
:Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.

:Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines.
:Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right.
:Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.

:Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign.
:First door (male logo): Men & Boys
:Second door (female logo): Women & Girls
:Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
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[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)

2014-07-21T08:30:04Z

173.245.56.159: /* Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience */

{{comic
| number = 826
| date = November 26, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)
| before = ''Explainxkcd note: Don't try and click on this image to see the exhibits. Visit [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ the actual comic] instead''
| image = guest week zach weiner smbc.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Zach Weiner of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. When I was stressed out, Zach gave me a talk that was really encouraging and somehow involved nanobots.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Review for grammar}}
This comic is drawn by a guest webcomic artist, Zack Weiner, following the theme of "Guest Week". Zach is the author of the webcomic [http://www.smbc-comics.com/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]. The [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ original comic] is interactive. It will show images of the exibits (see below) by clicking on them.

The entire comic is a hypothetical "{{w|Smithsonian Museum}} of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement." It is an common occurrence that curious children will ask simple questions about science to their parents, such as, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" and a parent could respond, "Well Susie, the sky is blue to match your dress."

===Hall Of Misunderstood Science===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about scientific topics. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_27.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that basilisks exist, and that they live under your bed. The basilisk is a mythological reptilian monster that was described as having the ability to turn other living things to stone with its gaze. This story might be believed by children because children often imagine that a monster or a dangerous creature is hiding under the bed at night, and verifying that the basilisk is under the bed might turn the child to stone.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_26.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that "In my day" molecules did not exist, and everything was just atoms. Molecules are chains of atoms, and therefore more complex than atoms. This story might be believed by children because old people often tell unbelievable and questionably credible "In my day" stories about how different, or in this case less complicated, things when they where younger. This story may sound no less credible then these stories to a child. Also, like most "In my day" stories there is at least a grain of truth. The word atom has changed its meaning over time; at one time all discovered molecules were called {{w|atomism|atoms}}, as when they were modified their properties changed. (Alternatively, according to the Big Bang theory of the formation of the universe, there was a period billions of years ago when atoms had formed, but not yet combined into molecules.)

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_25.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that magnets are only attracted to each other when they are teenagers. This is a inside joke that the child is not in on about how there is a loss of sexual desire in adults. This story might be believed because magnets are seen as mysterious and possibly magical by children.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_24.png|In this exhibit the plaque on the statue of Jesus claims that {{w|snow}} is composed of Jesus' {{w|dandruff}}. This story might be believed because some children take the expression that {{w|rain}} is "God's tears", and this would be a logical extension.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_20.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the reason that there are only four components of {{w|DNA}} is because there where only four letters back then. The following letters describe the {{w|nucleotides}} that make up DNA chains: "G" {{w|guanine}}, "A" {{w|adenine}}, "T" {{w|thymine}}, and "C" {{w|cytosine}}. This story might be believed by children as DNA can be thought as an instruction set to build life. Instructions contain words, and therefore the letters G, A, T, and C can be thought of as the letters that the words in the instructions are made from.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_23.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that you are more vulnerable to the {{w|Bogeyman|boogie man}} when you are sleeping. "The Boogie Man" is a common legend used to scare young kids; he typically hides in closets and underneath beds, and attacks sleeping children. This story might be believed by children as some believe in the boogie man.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_22.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that water increases its size to frighten {{w|predator|predators}}. {{w|Ice}} is less dense than liquid {{w|water}}. This is an unusual property as most materials are more dense in solid form. This might be believed by a child because many animals appear to increase there size to frighten away other threatening animals. A {{w|rhinoceros}} although not traditionally a predator, would be a predator of water.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_21.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|antimatter|anti-matter}} is composed of half ant and half matter. The prefix anti means "the opposite of", but sounds similar to the word ant. This story might be believed by children because a hyphen is often used to combine two words together with different meanings to create a word with the meaning of both. Combining the words ants and matter could produce a word meaning something composed of both ants and matter.
</gallery>

===Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience===
This section holds falsehoods that a dad might use to frighten his children. Fear is often used to discourage children from disobeying their parents. It is an interactive experience, so visitors can try something for themselves, then learn the frightening fact it indicates.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_19.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that helium makes your voice higher because you are about to explode. Helium makes your voice high-pitched, because sound travels faster in helium than in oxygen, and it does not explode because it is a noble gas. This story might be used by parents to discourage children from inhaling helium. This story might regrettably convince a child that they are dying after they inhale helium.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_18.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that if your middle finger is longer than all the others, you are an alien half-breed. For almost all people the middle finger is longer than all the others. This story might be used by parents to tease there children. This story might regrettably convince a child that one of there parents is a alien, and therefore not to be trusted.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_16.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that one of the cups of {{w|Jell-O|Jello} had a rabbit brain instead of a cherry. Cherries are a common ingredient in gelatin based deserts. One cup is missing and in the hands of the child, possibly eaten. This story might be used by parents to tease there children, or discourage them from eating more desert. This story might regrettably convince a child that they ate the brain of a small cute fluffy animal.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_17.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that monsters will eat you if you do not make your bed. In some stories monsters specifically prey on children. This story might be used by parents to encourage children to make their beds. This story might regrettably convince a child that there are monsters under there beds and frighten them so they can not sleep.
</gallery>

===Concessions===
This area holds concession stands, which sell food. There are misleading names on each stand. The pop-outs in this section are based on jokes parents tell there children to frighten them about food.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_15.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces the name of the concession stand as KFP. The parent claims that the "P" stands for phoenix, and the operator adds "also ponies". KFP is a a parody of Kentucky Fried Chicken ({{w|KFC}}), a popular fast food chain which specializes in fried chicken. A phoenix is a mythical bird that throws it self into a fire and later rises from the ashes. This story might be believed by children because phoenixes are birds and a fried one may look similar to a chicken.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_14.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ground beef}} and further enplanes that ground beef is beef that is found on the ground. The word ground sometimes refers to the floor other times is past tense of the word grind. This story might be believed by children because the words are spelled and pronounced the same.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_13.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ice cream}} and claims that ice cream is really spelled eyes cream, and always composed of eyeballs. This story might be believed by children because the words "eyes cream" sounds similar to "ice cream".
</gallery>

===Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about history. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_11.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Genghis Khan}} achieved his victories by using dragons. Genghis Khan was a Mongolian conqueror who conquered almost all of Asia and much of Europe founding the {{w|Mongol Empire}}, and creating the then-largest continuous land empire in history. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_12.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the {{w|Crimean War}} was a war on crime. The Crimean War is an often forgotten Eastern European conflict between Russia and a European coalition with aims to stop Russia's expansion. This story might be believed by children because adding an "a" to a people group sometimes is used to create a country name, making Crimea sounds similar to a nation of criminals.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_10.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that wizards where in control during {{w|The Renaissance}}. The Renaissance is a cultural movement in Europe that took place after the Dark ages. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_3.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Star Wars}} is actual history. {{w|The Renaissance}}. Star Wars is a fantastical science fiction movie. This story might be believed by children because the movie begins "a long time ago in a galaxy far away", and some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_9.png|In this exhibit the poster claims that {{w|France}} does not exist. The adult in the comic continues to attempt to convince the children that France does not exist. This is supposed to be funny because the knowledge of France as a country is common. This may be parodying the global warming debate, a common theme in both XKCD and SMBC.
</gallery>

===Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics===
Each exhibit is a display set up to explain uncomfortable topics that children may ask their parents about. The answers given so that the children do not ask further questions.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_8.png|In this exhibit the sign on the box covering up the couple in bed claims that naked wrestling is perfectly normal, but kids should never engage in it. "Naked wrestling" is a common euphemism for sex. A parent may give this explanation if a child walks in on there parents having sex and they feel that the children are too young to understand

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_7.png|In this exhibit the sign over the stand claims your parents drink alcohol to prevent you from drinking it as alcohol is a poison. Alcohol is a toxin. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks there parents why they drink any alcohol if it is bad for you, and did not want to explain the pleasurable experience of alcohol because it might encourage children to drink.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_5.png|In this exhibit the banner claims that mommies have big tummies because storks like chubby girls. Some parents tell there children that storks deliver babies so that they do not have to discuss the topic of sex. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks why, if a stork delivers babies, there mommies is changing while she is pregnant.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_6.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that grandma did not die, but is going back to Saturn. Some parents tell there children that there loved ones have gone away, instead of telling them the truth that they are dead. Going to Saturn for revenge is added for comic value. A parent may give this explanation to who asks where there loved one is, as telling the child that the loved one is dead may cause pain to both the child and the parent.
</gallery>

===Miscellaneous===
<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_4.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|dinosaur|dinosaurs}} are made of bones only. The fossil record includes the imprints of the other tissues of dinosaurs including skin, nails, teeth, and feathers. This story might be believed by children because the majority of all displays of dinosaurs in museums only include bones.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_2.png|The Bathrooms have 3 doors. Clicking reveals that there is one for each gender of humans, and one for "Korgmen & Spangs". This is most likely a reference to the Marvel alien species {{w|Korg_(comics)|the Korg}}.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_1.png|In this exhibit the sign (which the children can not see) explains that the {{w|autostereogram|Magic eye}} poster that the children are staring at contains no hidden images. These pictures contain hidden 3D images. To see these images you have to look in front of or behind the image. This takes time and many people find it difficult or impossible to do.
</gallery>

==Transcript==
:In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum:
:The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling
:An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement

:(Click to view exhibits!)

:The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.

:Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children.
:Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.

:Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together.
:Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.

:Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both.
:Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.

:Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him.
:Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!

:Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened.
:Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.

:Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere.
:Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.

:Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it.
:Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then.
:Dad, to child: Told you so.

:Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling.
:Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!

:The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.

:Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed.
:Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.

:Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it.
:Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.

:Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder.
:Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.

:Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed.
:Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.

:The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.

:Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating.
:Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".

:Booth: A concession stand.
:Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground.
:Dad, to child: Told you.

:Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye.
:Booth label: EYES CREAM
:Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled?
:Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.

:The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon.
:Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.

:Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows.
:Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.

:Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it.
:Exhibit label: The Renaissance
:Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.

:Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard.
:Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously.
:Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.

:The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label.
:Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.

:Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle.
:Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it.
:Dad: You're welcome.

:Exhibit: A large bird.
:Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.

:Exhibit: A rocket ship.
:Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.

:In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.

:Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton.
:Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES.
:Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.

:Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines.
:Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right.
:Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.

:Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign.
:First door (male logo): Men & Boys
:Second door (female logo): Women & Girls
:Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs

{{comic discussion}}
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