826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)

2013-04-24T21:43:51Z

72.223.78.208: /* Miscellaneous */

{{comic
| number = 826
| date = November 26, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)
| image = guest_week_zach_weiner_smbc.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Zach Weiner of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. When I was stressed out, Zach gave me a talk that was really encouraging and somehow involved nanobots.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
This comic is guest drawn by Zach Weiner, author of the webcomic [http://www.smbc-comics.com/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]. It's interactive, so you'll have to see the [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ original comic].

The entire comic is a hypothetical "{{w|Smithsonian Museum}} of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement." That explains it pretty well.

=== The Hall of Misunderstood Science ===

=== Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience ===

=== Concessions ===

=== Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History ===

=== Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics ===

=== Miscellaneous ===
The Bathrooms have 3 doors, implying that the Musuem may be visited by someone or something that is not male or female, i.e. a hermaphrodite or asexual creature.

==Transcript==
:In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum:
:The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling
:An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement

:(Click to view exhibits!)

:The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.

:Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children.
:Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.

:Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together.
:Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.

:Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both.
:Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.

:Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him.
:Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!

:Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened.
:Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.

:Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere.
:Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.

:Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it.
:Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then.
:Dad, to child: Told you so.

:Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling.
:Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!

:The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.

:Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed.
:Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.

:Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it.
:Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.

:Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder.
:Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.

:Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed.
:Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.

:The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.

:Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating.
:Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".

:Booth: A concession stand.
:Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground.
:Dad, to child: Told you.

:Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye.
:Booth label: EYES CREAM
:Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled?
:Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.

:The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon.
:Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.

:Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows.
:Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.

:Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it.
:Exhibit label: The Renaissance
:Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.

:Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard.
:Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously.
:Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.

:The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label.
:Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.

:Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle.
:Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it.
:Dad: You're welcome.

:Exhibit: A large bird.
:Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.

:Exhibit: A rocket ship.
:Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.

:In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.

:Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton.
:Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES.
:Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.

:Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines.
:Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right.
:Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.

:Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign.
:First door (male logo): Men & Boys
:Second door (female logo): Women & Girls
:Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Guest Week]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

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826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)