explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

365: Slides

2026-03-08T17:48:07Z

Alcazar84: removed extra comma

{{comic
| number = 365
| date = January 2, 2008
| title = Slides
| image = slides.png
| titletext = Did you know they can actually physically throw you out of SIGGRAPH?
}}

==Explanation==
In the context shown, the expression "bear with me for a moment" usually implies that two seemingly unrelated topics are in fact connected, and the connection is to be explained later. This is not the case in the comic: [[Cueball]] is in fact simply showing random slides that have no connection to each other. By using the phrase liberally and never actually explaining the links, it is suggested that a presenter can simply continue to show random slides for an extended period before anyone actually realizes what is going on.

The title text refers to {{w|SIGGRAPH}}, an annual computer graphics conference held since 1974. In [[541: TED Talk]], it is said that [[Randall]] has been banned from SIGGRAPH, and we can infer from this comic that he was physically thrown out of it. Another (very implausible) possibility is that Randall is making the joke that people who attend computer graphics conferences are stereotypically not very athletic, and therefore unlikely to be able to physically throw someone.

In addition, the fact that Cueball was attending SIGGRAPH is another joke: Cueball seems to have misinterpreted the conference name and shown a random assortment of graphs. In reality, SIGGRAPH focuses on computer graphics, not graphs. Neither the {{w|Quantum Hall effect|quantum Hall effect}}, a concept in quantum mechanics, nor rainfall in the Amazon forest are on-topic for it.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing on a stage, pointing at a line graph using a pointer.]
:Cueball: That chart explained the quantum Hall effect. Now, if you'll bear with me a moment, this next graph shows rainfall over the amazon basin...
:[Caption below the panel:]
:If you keep saying "bear with me for a moment" people will take a while to figure out that you're just showing them random slides.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Public speaking]]
[[Category:Banned from conferences]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]

444: Macgyver Gets Lazy

2025-11-15T16:28:23Z

Alcazar84: Undo revision 391010 by 82.132.238.20 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 444
| date = July 2, 2008
| title = Macgyver Gets Lazy
| image = macgyver_gets_lazy.png
| titletext = At the time of this writing, Wikipedia has a wonderful article titled 'List of problems solved by Macgyver'
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|MacGyver}} was an '80s and early '90s TV character, famed for improvising complex devices in a matter of minutes in order to escape dangerous situations. In this comic, MacGyver suggests an unusually direct plan—shooting the guard in the head. However, he still manages to describe his plan in a way that makes it sound like a typical MacGyver-style miraculous improvisation.

It is worth noting that in the show, MacGyver was adamantly against the use of guns and never used one (at least, not for its intended purpose) in the entire run of the old series. In addition, his devices, traps, and plans were generally designed to be non-lethal, typically causing no more than minor injuries. The notion of him simply killing a guard would be a major departure for the show.

{{w|MacGyver (2016 TV series)|A MacGyver reboot was made in 2016}} and was not well received (38% on Metacritic, 4.6/10 in iMDb). Despite this negative reception, the series began its fifth season in December 2020.

The Wikipedia page referenced by the title text redirects to the main MacGyver entry since September 2012. The Wikipedia page can {{w|Special:Diff/252847639|still be found in history}}, and the content has been moved to [http://macgyver.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_problems_solved_by_MacGyver MacGyver wikia] and expanded. As of now, the page redirects to {{w|MacGyver (1985 TV series)}}.

==Transcript==
:[Outside of a building with a door marked No Entry and a guard standing outside, Cueball and MacGyver are hiding.]
:Cueball: Any ideas?
:MacGyver: I can use the trigger mechanism of this gun to ignite a small explosive charge, propelling a metal slug into the guard's head.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

444: Macgyver Gets Lazy

2025-11-15T02:08:49Z

Alcazar84: added a missing Oxford comma

521: 2008 Christmas Special

2025-10-12T05:34:47Z

Alcazar84: re-added the removed serial comma

{{comic
| number = 521
| date = December 24, 2008
| title = 2008 Christmas Special
| image = 2008_christmas_special.png
| titletext = 'How could you possibly think typing 'import skynet' was a good idea?'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is the xkcd Christmas Special from the year 2008. The prologue states that due to the {{w|2008 financial crisis}}, only very few images of the strip could be produced. This leaves the others to be blacked out. It is therefore left to the reader to reconstruct the whole story based on the given images. While it is claimed that the reconstruction should be rather easy, the complicated and abstruse plot-line makes it nearly impossible to fill the gaps. Any attempt at inferring the missing images would therefore be largely guesswork. The comic features the well-known xkcd characters getting involved in a strange fight with cyborgs and raptors on Christmas Eve.

The line "We apologize for the inconvenience." is possibly a reference to the famous book series ''{{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy}}'' by {{w|Douglas Adams}}. It appears there as God's Final Message to His Creation, written in letters of fire on the side of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains.

'''Panel 2

: [[Megan]] strives to outdo some Christmas lights she has seen on YouTube.

; Panel 3

: Dissatisfied with her work, Megan is thinking about alternative ways to improve her light arrangement. The idea of firing {{w|Sodium}} pellets into snow is probably a bad one, as Sodium reacts exothermically with water and may, in large amounts, induce explosions.

; Panel 5

: Probably still obsessed with creating a large and impressive light display, Megan has constructed an electronic device with an {{w|Arduino}} processor, perhaps to make the light chain show patterns. However, the energy she used was too high. This causes one of the control boards to sublimate, i.e. go directly from a solid to a gaseous state without an intermediate liquid phase. She then wishes she could make the system self-repairing.

; Panel 7

: Megan's device has developed {{w|artificial intelligence}}, allowing it to feel. This is presumably a result of Megan attempting to make the device self-repairing. This common trope in science-fiction works usually leads to the system's attempt to eradicate its creator. [[Cueball]] attributes the emergence of a personality to the awesome ease and power of programming in {{w|Python (programming language)|Python}}.

; Panel 11

: Out of context, this panel introduces the idea of {{w|Santa Claus}} being a {{w|Muslim}}. This may be a reference to the persistent Internet rumours that Barack Obama is a Muslim, though he declares himself to be a Christian. However, the statement could also relate to the fact that Santa Claus is usually displayed with a large beard, which is sometimes also sported by conservative Muslims. Or it could just be nonsensical.

; Panel 13

: At this point, the self-aware Christmas light control systems have released {{w|cyborgs}} that tried to kill Megan and Cueball. To repel the cyborgs, they have cloned {{w|Velociraptors}}. Cueball expresses doubt about whether that was a good idea. Velociraptors appear frequently in xkcd, as seen in [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Velociraptors these comics]

; Panel 17

: As predicted, the raptors have gone wild, but Megan, Cueball, and the two smaller characters (perhaps their children) managed to cage the dinosaurs. They believe themselves safe unless the raptors learn how to build {{w|lightsabers}}. This is a reference to a line in {{w|'' Jurassic Park''}} where the main characters believe themselves safe until they discover the raptors can learn how to open doors.

; Panel 19

: The raptors have indeed succeeded with constructing lightsabers and must now be fought. The "Clever girl" refers to a line from ''Jurassic Park'' where the raptors outflank (and kill) one of the human characters wearing a similar hat. “Snap-hiss” is a common phrase originated by Timothy Zahn to describe the sound of a lightsaber igniting in Star Wars literature.<ref>Zahn, Timothy, "Author Annotations: Chapter 7, 1", Star Wars: Heir to the Empire: The 20th Anniversary Edition, ISBN 0345530004, "I thought long and hard about how to write the sound of an igniting lightsaber. I finally went with snap-hiss.", corroborated by [https://boards.theforce.net/threads/snap-hiss.25830511/ forums]</ref>

; Panel 23

: IT billionaire {{w|Bill Gates}} has mistakenly killed Santa Claus, possibly in a sword fight. He claims to have mistaken him for [[Richard Stallman]], a prominent {{w|free software}} activist. (Gates strongly opposes the idea of free software and is therefore considered an antagonist by many of its supporters.) The most striking resemblance between Stallman and Santa Claus is probably the long and untamed beard. [[225: Open Source]] features Stallman involved in a sword fight. Much later, [[Randall]] again killed off Santa in his Christmas comics, and did so twice in only three years. First in [[2559: December 25th Launch]], from 2021, and then again in 2023's [[2872: Hydrothermal Vents]].

; Panel 29

: [[Black Hat]] is asked by Megan (or possibly his companion, [[Danish]]) where he obtained the enormously large {{w|Christmas tree}} that can be seen on the right side of the zoomed out picture. It is implied that he felled {{w|Yggdrasil}}, the giant ash tree of Norse mythology. According to tradition, Yggdrasil is the world tree representing the whole of creation and holding together the cosmological structure.

; Panel 31

: [[Randall]] wishes Merry Christmas to all xkcd readers.

The title text refers to panel 7. In Python, modules are imported using the "import ''module''" syntax. {{w|Skynet (Terminator)|Skynet}} is a self-aware artificial intelligence system featured in the ''{{w|Terminator}}'' film series as the main influence behind most of the antagonists. Importing the Skynet module might therefore account for Megan's system's developing an evil personality.

There is an actual pip module [https://pypi.org/project/skynet/ named "skynet"]. The module links to the comic as its "homepage". The module's description says that it "demonstrates the usage of Python's exit-hook, exception hook and signals handling", by using them to prevent the user from exiting Python "to the best of its ability" when the module is imported (somewhat in line with the whole idea of a rogue computer), and cautions you to try this at your own risk.

Note that this comic was first published in another version that had panel 29 as panel 27 and the "Merry Christmas from xkcd" message at the bottom. As 27 is not a {{w|prime number}}, the current version was published in place of the erroneous one.

It has been observed that the top left nine panels have the configuration of a {{w|Glider (Conway's Life)|Glider}} in ''{{w|Conway's Game of Life}}''. The glider is sometimes used as an emblem representing {{w|hacker subculture}}, although rotated by 90 degrees. However, it remains unclear whether the occurrence in the comic is intentional or an incidental side-effect of the prime number pattern in use. If you put the shown comic panels in The Game of Life, it turns into a Beehive, for reasons also probably not deliberate, unlike [[2293: RIP John Conway|a later comic]]'s explicit invocation of this mechanism. The last fourteen black panels also coincidentally form the shape of a crewmate from the game ''{{w|Among Us}}'', although the comic predates the game by a whole decade.

==Transcript==
:The 2008 XKCD Christmas Special
:Due to the slowing economy, we could only afford to produce the prime-numbered panels.
:You should be able to infer the missing parts of the story easily enough.
:We apologize for the inconvenience.
:[The first panel is blank.]
:[Megan carrying Christmas lights and Cueball watching.]
:Megan: I'm going to one-up those Christmas light displays on YouTube.
:[Megan thinking.]
:Megan: Hmm. Needs more flair. Do you know what happens when you fire sodium pellets into a snowbank?
:Cueball: No.
:Megan: Me neither.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan sitting in front of a console.]
:Megan: Whoops, one of the Arduino control boards sublimated.
:Megan: If only I could make it self-repairing...
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Shit. The system has become sentient.
:Cueball: Friggin' Python.
:System: GRAAARR!
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Megan showing laptop to Cueball.]
:Megan: But according to this email forward, Santa is secretly a Muslim!
:Cueball: It explains everything!
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Okay, the cloned raptors are hunting the last of the cyborgs. We're safe.
:Cueball: Are you sure you thought this through?
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Two couples appear in this next panel.]
:Cueball: Are the raptors contained?
:Ponytail: Sure. Unless they figure out how to build lightsabers.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Guy with hat fighting with a raptor using lightsabers.]
:Cueball: It's all right. I've got her.
:[Lightsaber appears from behind.]
:Snap-hiss!
:Cueball: ...Clever girl.
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Bill Gates is holding a weapon over Santa's body. The two girls are watching.]
:Megan: Great. Bill Gates kills Santa.
:Bill Gates: I thought it was Stallman with a dyed beard.
:[The next five panels are blank.]
:[Danish and Black Hat are looking at a tree.]
:Danish: Where did you get this Christmas tree?
:Black Hat: Nowhere.
:Danish: Did you cut down the Yggdrasil?
:Black Hat: ...Maybe.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan and Cueball holding hands and looking at reader.]
:Merry Christmas from XKCD <3
:[The last panel is blank.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Richard Stallman]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Christmas]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Terminator]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]

522: Google Trends

2025-10-07T12:05:34Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 522
| date = December 26, 2008
| title = Google Trends
| image = google_trends.png
| titletext = Obama has been writing Lincoln/Obama erotic fan fiction on his secret livejournal. Excerpt: Lincoln lay back on the bed, nude save for his trademark stovepipe hat. 'Tell me,' he purred seductively, as he and Obama formed a more perfect union. 'When you come, is it 10% ethanol?'
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Google Search|Google}} keeps track of which searches are most popular in which regions as part of more general data mining to improve their service. For the enjoyment/education of others, they release select, non-personal parts of this data under the banner "[http://www.google.com/trends/ Google Trends]."

The first statistic – that "Men kissing" was popular in {{w|Utah}}, a state known for possessing a large population with very conservative social values, including opposition to homosexuality – is real.{{acn}} The others are made up for the sake of the joke. In order:

; Installing Ubuntu" – Redmond, WA
: {{w|Ubuntu}} is a {{w|Linux}} distribution; {{w|Redmond, Washington}} is home to {{w|Microsoft}}, the company that makes the rival operating system {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}.
; Running for President in 2010" – Wasilla, AK
: 2010 was not a presidential election year in the United States; {{w|Wasilla, Alaska}} is home to {{w|Sarah Palin}}, a politician known for making such gaffes and who was {{w|John McCain}}'s {{w|running mate}} in the {{w|United States presidential election, 2008|2008 election}} that occurred a few weeks before this comic.
; Lincoln Fan Fiction" – Chicago, IL
: {{w|Abraham Lincoln}} was the US president from 1861 to his assassination in 1865; {{w|Chicago, Illinois}} is home to {{w|Barack Obama}}, who apparently reads (presumably {{w|erotic}}) {{w|fanfiction}} about the former president.
; Raptors on Hoverboards" – Somerville, MA
: {{w|Velociraptors}} are a favorite xkcd topic; there are also frequent references to ''{{w|Back to the Future}}'' as with the {{w|hoverboards}} here. {{w|Somerville, Massachusetts}} is home to [[Randall Munroe]]. The speed of a ''Raptor on Hoverboard'' is given in [[526: Converting to Metric]].
; How is babby formed" – Wasilla, AK
: "How is babby formed?" was the title (and most of the content) of an infamous Yahoo! Answers question (see the title text of [[481: Listen to Yourself]] and [[550: Density]]). Wasilla, Alaska is, again, home to {{w|Sarah Palin}}; a few months prior to this comic's release, Sarah Palin revealed that her daughter, {{w|Bristol Palin}}, was pregnant out of wedlock. Ironically, before her pregnancy, Bristol Palin advocated sexual abstinence before marriage as pointed out in this [https://time.com/archive/6914503/in-defense-of-bristol-palin-abstinence-spokeswoman/ Time article], as well as banning sex education in schools.{{Actual citation needed}} Ignorance of common contraceptives like condoms can cause unplanned pregnancies to happen. Additionally, Sarah Palin has been a consistent opponent of {{w|Political Positions of Sarah Palin#Abortion|abortion}}; this search may imply that Palin is making policy bout pregnancy while lacking a basic scientific understanding of how pregnancy works.
; I hate this website" – Mountain View, CA
: {{w|Mountain View, California}} is home to {{w|Google}}'s headquarters. The implication is that Google employees are putting "I hate this website" into Google.

With regards to the excerpt Randall provides in the title text:
*{{w|Slash fiction}} is a genre of fan fiction that focuses on homosexual behavior.
*Lincoln/Obama (pronounced Lincoln slash Obama) fan fiction normally should be between Abraham Lincoln and Barack Obama.
*The "more perfect union" line comes from the preamble to the US Constitution: "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union...". However, it seems to have a sexual connotation in this case.
*{{w|orgasm|Come}} (sometimes spelled cum) might be a reference to Obama orgasming and/or ejaculating.
*{{w|Ethanol}} is the more scientific name for drinking alcohol, or simply alcohol.
*"{{w|Common ethanol fuel mixtures#E10_or_less|10% ethanol}}" refers to automotive gasoline that includes 10% ethanol (usually made from corn or other vegetables), with the hopes of reducing the dependence on oil for fuel. The Obama administration [https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2013/nov/15/obama-lower-quotas-ethanol-gasoline adopted a policy in 2013] that mandated ethanol to make up 10% of the US’s fuel supply.

==Transcript==
:Bloggers were recently amused to discover that,
:according to Google Trends, the search term:
:"men kissing" is most popular in conservative Utah.
:A few other embarrassing correlations:

:[A two-column table]
:[On the left side of the table:]
:;Search Term

:;Installing Ubuntu

:;Running for President in 2010

:;Lincoln Fan Fiction

:;Raptors on Hoverboards

:;How is babby formed?

:;I hate this website

:[On the right side of the table:]
:;Top City

:;Redmond, WA

:;Wasilla, AK

:;Chicago, IL

:;Somerville, MA

:;Wasilla, AK

:;Mountain View, CA

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Homosexuality]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

515: No One Must Know

2025-09-18T23:53:31Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 515
| date = December 10, 2008
| title = No One Must Know
| image = no_one_must_know.png
| titletext = Or perhaps they knew he was there, and were just trying to torment him first.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Black Hat]] and [[Danish]] are more known for {{w|Psychopathy#Sociopathy|sociopathy}} than affection. In the first panel, they are affectionate toward each other — holding hands and using terms of endearment ({{w|danish pastry}} and {{w|pie}}). This behavior is common with couples but unexpected coming from these normally cynical characters. (However, [[433: Journal 5]] confirms that they are dating—so the surprise here is their unusually affectionate language rather than their relationship.) The entrance of [[Cueball]] and his subsequent discovery of them in this state prompts Black Hat and Danish to kill him. Their return to their more typical behavior contrasts with the first panel, presumably motivated by a desire to either dissimulate the warmer aspects of their personalities or their relationship altogether.

The title text provides the alternative hypothesis that they were planning on killing him the whole time and were intentionally acting affectionate for the mental effect it would have on their victim.

[[542: Cover-Up]] provides a possible continuation of this story.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat and Danish are talking and holding hands.]
:Black Hat: You're my dearest darling danish.
:Danish: And you're my lovely cutie pie.
:Black Hat: Well, you're-
:[Cueball enters.]
:[Black Hat and Danish look at each other and let go of each other's hands.]
:[Black Hat holds a bloody sack, while Danish pushes down on a shovel to make a hole for what is presumably Cueball's body.]

==Trivia==
*This comic inspired the use of "Danish" to refer to [[Black Hat]]'s girlfriend on this wiki.
**It is obviously not her real name, as it was just a cake-related term of endearment. But at least one person thinks it is better than the name used before this comic.
*This comic may be a continuation of the journal series, and may be followed by [[542: Cover-Up]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics with blood]]

525: I Know You're Listening

2025-06-16T23:35:55Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 525
| date = January 2, 2009
| title = I Know You're Listening
| image = i know youre listening.png
| titletext = Basically it's Pascal's Wager for the paranoid prankster.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] occasionally says "I know you're listening" aloud in empty rooms. The idea is that, with nobody listening, he doesn't lose anything; if somebody ''is'' listening, however, he gains by freaking them out, which might cause them to reveal themselves and/or cease their activites. In this case, another Cueball-like surveillance man does get quite the shock.

As mentioned in the title text, this is similar to {{w|Pascal's Wager}}. {{w|Blaise Pascal}} was a French philosopher and mathematician who discussed the issue of the possibility that God actually does exist or not. According to Pascal, a rational person should live as though (a Christian) God exists, because he would lose negligible things if this turns out not to be true, but would gain immensely if it is true, by going to heaven in the afterlife. As Pascal himself recognized, this is not a proof of any god's existence, Christian or otherwise, but rather an inexorable choice made by every human being. Cueball makes a similar choice here, though hardly for such a moral reason.

A similar joke was made in the {{What If|55|Random Sneeze Call}} article/chapter of [[What If?]], where [[Cueball]] picks up a phone after sneezing, only to hear someone say "I know what you did." The difference, however, would be that in this comic, [[Randall]] ''will not'' be heard if he is wrong. If he calls a random phone number, the person being called ''will'' be heard, even if he is wrong.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Cueball's Choice
|-
| || Nobody's spying on Cueball || Somebody's spying on Cueball
|-
| Cueball does nothing || Null outcome || Cueball is being spied on
|-
| Cueball claims to know that they're listening || Only an omniscient observer would be privy to the absurdity of Cueball's actions || Cueball freaks out the spies
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Pascal's Wager
|-
| || God does not exist || God exists 
|-
| Atheism || Null outcome || Hell 
|-
| Faith || Wasted effort || Heaven 
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the two panels of the comic:]
:Now and then, I announce "I know you're listening" to empty rooms.

:[Cueball is sitting in an armchair, reading. He murmurs something unreadable.]

:[A second Cueball-like surveillance man with headphones seems to have gotten up from his office chair so fast that is has fallen over and lies behind him. He is now standing in front of a large computer terminal with two screens. He can hear Cueball's mumble as it is shown as coming from one of the screens. The surveillance man is leaning back away from the terminal while holding a hand to his headphones.]

:[Caption below the panels:]
:If I'm wrong, no one knows. And if I'm right, maybe I just freaked the hell out of some secret organization.

==Trivia==
*This comic has a clear resemblance to the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]] series. This would also make it clear that the Cueball in this comic is actually [[Randall]].
*10 years later, Randall made a similar comic: [[2203: Prescience]].
*See also [[628: Psychic]] for similar guess work to make you look cool.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

525: I Know You're Listening

2024-07-13T19:16:56Z

Alcazar84: added commas for clarity

{{comic
| number = 525
| date = January 2, 2009
| title = I Know You're Listening
| image = i know youre listening.png
| titletext = Basically it's Pascal's Wager for the paranoid prankster.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] occasionally says "I know you're listening" aloud in empty rooms. The idea is that if nobody is listening, he doesn't lose anything, but if somebody ''is'' listening, he gains by freaking them out. In this case, another Cueball-like surveillance man does get quite the shock.

As mentioned in the title text, this is similar to {{w|Pascal's Wager}}. {{w|Blaise Pascal}} was a French philosopher and mathematician who discussed the issue of the possibility that God actually does exist or not. According to Pascal, a rational person should live as though (a Christian) God exists, because he would lose negligible things if this turns out not to be true, but would gain immensely if it is true, by going to heaven in the afterlife. As Pascal himself recognized, this is not a proof of any god's existence, Christian or otherwise, but rather an inexorable choice made by every human being. Cueball makes a similar choice here, though hardly for such a moral reason.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Cueball's Choice
|-
| || Nobody's spying on Cueball || Somebody's spying on Cueball
|-
| Cueball does nothing || Null outcome || Cueball is being spied on
|-
| Cueball claims to know that they're listening || Only an omniscient observer would be privy to the absurdity of Cueball's actions || Cueball freaks out the spies
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Pascal's Wager
|-
| || God does not exist || God exists 
|-
| Atheism || Null outcome || Hell 
|-
| Faith || Wasted effort || Heaven 
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the two panels of the comic:]
:Now and then, I announce "I know you're listening" to empty rooms.

:[Cueball is sitting in an armchair, reading. He murmurs something unreadable.]

:[A second Cueball-like surveillance man with headphones seems to have gotten up from his office chair so fast that is has fallen over and lies behind him. He is now standing in front of a large computer terminal with two screens. He can hear Cueball's mumble as it is shown as coming from one of the screens. The surveillance man is leaning back away from the terminal while holding a hand to his headphones.]

:[Caption below the panels:]
:If I'm wrong, no one knows. And if I'm right, maybe I just freaked the hell out of some secret organization.

==Trivia==
*This comic has a clear resemblance to the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]] series. This would also make it clear that the Cueball in this comic is actually [[Randall]].
*10 years later, Randall made a similar comic: [[2203: Prescience]].
*See also [[628: Psychic]] for similar guess work to make you look cool.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

525: I Know You're Listening

2024-07-13T19:16:14Z

Alcazar84: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 525
| date = January 2, 2009
| title = I Know You're Listening
| image = i know youre listening.png
| titletext = Basically it's Pascal's Wager for the paranoid prankster.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] occasionally says "I know you're listening" aloud in empty rooms. The idea is that if nobody is listening, he doesn't lose anything, but if somebody ''is'' listening, he gains by freaking them out. In this case, another Cueball-like surveillance man does get quite the shock.

As mentioned in the title text, this is similar to {{w|Pascal's Wager}}. {{w|Blaise Pascal}} was a French philosopher and mathematician who discussed the issue of the possibility that God actually does exist or not. According to Pascal, a rational person should live as though (a Christian) God exists, because he would lose negligible things if this turns out not to be true, but would gain immensely if it is true, by going to heaven in the afterlife. As Pascal himself recognized, this is not a proof of any god's existence, Christian or otherwise, but rather an inexorable choice made by every human being. Cueball makes a similar choice here, though hardly for such a moral reason.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Cueball's Choice
|-
| || Nobody's spying on Cueball || Somebody's spying on Cueball
|-
| Cueball does nothing || Null outcome || Cueball is being spied on
|-
| Cueball claims to know that they're listening || Only an omniscient observer would be privy to the absurdity of Cueball's actions || Cueball freaks out the spies
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Pascal's Wager
|-
| || God does not exist || God exists 
|-
| Atheism || Null outcome || Hell 
|-
| Faith || Wasted effort || Heaven 
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the two panels of the comic:]
:Now and then, I announce "I know you're listening" to empty rooms.

:[Cueball is sitting in an armchair, reading. He murmurs something unreadable.]

:[A second Cueball-like surveillance man with headphones seems to have gotten up from his office chair so fast that is has fallen over and lies behind him. He is now standing in front of a large computer terminal with two screens. He can hear Cueball's mumble as it is shown as coming from one of the screens. The surveillance man is leaning back away from the terminal while holding a hand to his headphones.]

:[Caption below the panels:]
:If I'm wrong, no one knows. And if I'm right, maybe I just freaked the hell out of some secret organization.

==Trivia==
*This comic has a clear resemblance to the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]] series. This would also make it clear the Cueball in this comic is actually [[Randall]].
*10 years later Randall made a similar comic: [[2203: Prescience]].
*See also [[628: Psychic]] for similar guess work to make you look cool.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

525: I Know You're Listening

2024-07-13T19:15:11Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 525
| date = January 2, 2009
| title = I Know You're Listening
| image = i know youre listening.png
| titletext = Basically it's Pascal's Wager for the paranoid prankster.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] occasionally says "I know you're listening" aloud in empty rooms. The idea is that if nobody is listening, he doesn't lose anything, but if somebody ''is'' listening, he gains by freaking them out. In this case, another Cueball-like surveillance man does get quite the shock.

As mentioned in the title text, this is similar to {{w|Pascal's Wager}}. {{w|Blaise Pascal}} was a French philosopher and mathematician who discussed the issue of the possibility that God actually does exist or not. According to Pascal, a rational person should live as though (a Christian) God exists, because he would lose negligible things if this turns out not to be true, but would gain immensely if it is true, by going to heaven in the afterlife. As Pascal himself recognized, this is not a proof of any god's existence, Christian or otherwise, but rather an inexorable choice made by every human being. Cueball makes a similar choice here, though hardly for such a moral reason.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Cueball's Choice
|-
| || Nobody's spying on Cueball || Somebody's spying on Cueball
|-
| Cueball does nothing || Null outcome || Cueball is being spied on
|-
| Cueball claims to know that they're listening || Only an omniscient observer would be privy to the absurdity of Cueball's actions || Cueball freaks out the spies
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Pascal's Wager
|-
| || God does not exist || God exists 
|-
| Atheism || Null outcome || Hell 
|-
| Faith || Wasted effort || Heaven 
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the two panels of the comic:]
:Now and then, I announce "I know you're listening" to empty rooms.

:[Cueball is sitting in an armchair, reading. He murmurs something unreadable.]

:[A second Cueball-like surveillance man with headphones, seems to have gotten up from his office chair so fast that is has fallen over and lies behind him. He is now standing in front of a large computer terminal with two screens, he can hear Cueball's mumble as it is shown as coming from one of the screens. The surveillance man is leaning back away from the terminal while holding a hand to his headphones.]

:[Caption below the panels:]
:If I'm wrong, no one knows. And if I'm right, maybe I just freaked the hell out of some secret organization.

==Trivia==
*This comic has a clear resemblance to the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]] series. This would also make it clear the Cueball in this comic is actually [[Randall]].
*10 years later Randall made a similar comic: [[2203: Prescience]].
*See also [[628: Psychic]] for similar guess work to make you look cool.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

524: Party

2024-07-13T19:12:26Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 524
| date = December 31, 2008
| title = Party
| image = party.png
| titletext = I wonder what 2008 meme will go bizarrely mainstream in 2009 like rickrolling did in 2007-2008. I accidentally <noun>? Yo, dawg? Place your bets now!
}}

==Explanation==
This [[:Category:New Year|New Year comic]] plays out at what is, probably, a {{w|New Year}} party thrown by [[Danish]]. (The previous New Year day comic in 2007 was also related to a wild party: [[364: Responsible Behavior]]).

In the first panel, we see [[Black Hat]] telling [[Cueball]] that he has hired {{w|Rick Astley}} to show up at a party for a girl. Cueball, assuming Rick Astley is going to perform a live Rickroll, asks if it isn't a little "last year".
{{w|Rickrolling}} is where one is redirected to a video of Rick Astley singing "{{w|Never Gonna Give You Up}}" via a weblink purporting to be something else. It was later extended to any situation where the song is used disruptively, such as during a party. It started in 2006 and grew until peaking on April Fool's Day in 2008. Thus, at New Years Eve 2008, the meme was getting old.{{citation needed}} However, Black Hat assures Cueball that Rick Astley is not actually going to sing.

The comic then continues to the now ongoing party and we see the girl in question, [[Danish]], Black Hat's girlfriend, talking with [[Ponytail]] when she notices Rick Astley at her party. Like Cueball, Danish expects that Rick Astley is going to sing and Rickroll her. She obviously hates this idea and braces herself for the humiliation of being Rickrolled, but she is freaked out when he just stands there staring at her without singing. In the end, his presence alone causes her to hear the song in her head instead, and finally she flees the room screaming, slamming a door behind her. Black Hat has essentially Rickrolled her in her own mind, which is far worse than just playing a song for her, but Black Hat could not have done so without the willing assistance from Rick!{{citation needed}}

When Ponytail asks Rick Astley "what did you do to her?", he begins by saying "that, my dear" and then slowly [[:Category:Puts on sunglasses|puts on sunglasses]] before he answers "Is how I roll." This references both Rickrolling and the [https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/115813/origin-of-how-we-i-roll|"that's how I roll"] meme.

Although the identity of the girl Black Hat is pranking is not stated by [[Randall]] (he refers to her as Girl 1), there is a theory that she is Danish, Black Hat's girlfriend. However, Danish would likely ordinarily play it cool and be entirely unruffled by something like this. Most agree that this behaviour is more akin to Megan, as she can assume all sorts of various reactions to stimuli depending on what Randall decides is appropriate in that instance.

The title text refers to the fact that Rickrolling first appeared in 2007 (on {{w|4chan}}) and became viral for over a year. Given that this is a New Year comic, it is thus relevant to ask what meme will replace Rickrolling in the new year, 2009. Although [[Randall]] makes reference to the "[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/xzibit-yo-dawg Xzibit Yo Dawg]" and "[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-accidentally I accidentally...]" photocaptioning memes, {{w|memebase}} entries suggest the "Keep Calm and Carry On" meme may well have become the most popular (and most enduring, as of 2013) meme of 2009.

Rickrolling became one of the most relevant memes from that era. There are many [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvFZjo5PgG0 articles] on why that is.

==Transcript==
:Black Hat: And so I hired Rick Astley to show up at her party.
:Cueball: And Rickroll her? Isn't that a little...last year?
:Black Hat: Ah, but he's not going to sing.

:Danish: Hey is that Rick Astley?
:Ponytail: I think it is. He just came in.
:Danish: Oh no. Brace yourself.

:Danish: Wait. He's just standing there. Where's the song?
:Danish: He's staring at me.
:Danish: This is a little creepy.

:Danish: What's going on?
:Danish: That's actually ''Rick Astley'' staring at me.
:Danish: What's he doing?
:Danish: Oh God, I keep expecting it, hearing it in my head.

:[Danish pulls at her hair.]
:Danish: Just do it already!
:[Danish runs off stage right.]
:Danish: AAAAAAAA

:[Danish slams the door leaving Ponytail and Rick Astley]
:Door: Slam

:Ponytail: Mr. Astley?
:Rick Astley: Yes?
:Ponytail: What did you ''do'' to her? What ''was'' that?

:Rick Astley: That, my dear,

:[Rick Astley puts on sunglasses.]

:Rick Astley: Is how '''''I''''' roll.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:New Year]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Puts on sunglasses]]
[[Category:Rickrolling]]
[[Category:Music]]

523: Decline

2024-01-04T23:38:54Z

Alcazar84: slanted variables

{{comic
| number = 523
| date = December 29, 2008
| title = Decline
| image = decline.png
| titletext = 'There is also a spike on the Fourier transformation at the one month mark where--' 'You want to stop talking right now.'
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]], apparently concerned about the status of his romantic relationship, has constructed a "relationship graph" plotting an ambiguously quantitative metric for love and/or affection against what is presumably time (the ''x''-axis is not actually labeled; ironically in [[833: Convincing]] Cueball states that not labeling graph axes is a relationship deal-breaker). He has identified a sudden drop. Cueball's romantic partner (probably [[Megan]]) notes from off screen that the drop corresponds to the moment Cueball's obsession with graphs began. He claims that the two events are coincidental, thereby referencing the recurring xkcd theme of correlation not necessarily implying causation – see [[552: Correlation]].

The title text references {{w|Fourier transform|Fourier transformation}}. The Fourier transform is a technique for discovering the periodic characteristic(s) of a function. A spike at one month on the Fourier transform of the love graph would mean that something happens every month that causes the relationship to change. This is presumably a reference to Megan menstruating, although this isn't proven. This is not something you should mention to your girlfriend, and she asks him to stop talking before he finishes the sentence. After this graph, the relationship may very well end....

Fourier transformations were mentioned previously in [[26: Fourier]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is pointing at a line graph at a specific point where it slopes down. The ''y''-axis shows that as ''y'' increases, love increases.]
:Cueball: Our relationship entered its decline at this point.
:Megan [Outside of panel]: That's when you started graphing everything.
:Cueball: Coincidence!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Romance]]

523: Decline

2024-01-04T23:37:44Z

Alcazar84: fixed grammar errors

{{comic
| number = 523
| date = December 29, 2008
| title = Decline
| image = decline.png
| titletext = 'There is also a spike on the Fourier transformation at the one month mark where--' 'You want to stop talking right now.'
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]], apparently concerned about the status of his romantic relationship, has constructed a "relationship graph" plotting an ambiguously quantitative metric for love and/or affection against what is presumably time (the ''x''-axis is not actually labeled; ironically in [[833: Convincing]] Cueball states that not labeling graph axes is a relationship deal-breaker). He has identified a sudden drop. Cueball's romantic partner (probably [[Megan]]) notes from off screen that the drop corresponds to the moment Cueball's obsession with graphs began. He claims that the two events are coincidental, thereby referencing the recurring xkcd theme of correlation not necessarily implying causation – see [[552: Correlation]].

The title text references {{w|Fourier transform|Fourier transformation}}. The Fourier transform is a technique for discovering the periodic characteristic(s) of a function. A spike at one month on the Fourier transform of the love graph would mean that something happens every month that causes the relationship to change. This is presumably a reference to Megan menstruating, although this isn't proven. This is not something you should mention to your girlfriend, and she asks him to stop talking before he finishes the sentence. After this graph, the relationship may very well end....

Fourier transformations were mentioned previously in [[26: Fourier]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is pointing at a line graph at a specific point where it slopes down. The y-axis shows that as y increases, love increases.]
:Cueball: Our relationship entered its decline at this point.
:Megan [Outside of panel]: That's when you started graphing everything.
:Cueball: Coincidence!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Romance]]

522: Google Trends

2024-01-04T23:34:11Z

Alcazar84: fixed grammar errors

{{comic
| number = 522
| date = December 26, 2008
| title = Google Trends
| image = google_trends.png
| titletext = Obama has been writing Lincoln/Obama erotic fan fiction on his secret livejournal. Excerpt: Lincoln lay back on the bed, nude save for his trademark stovepipe hat. 'Tell me,' he purred seductively, as he and Obama formed a more perfect union. 'When you come, is it 10% ethanol?'
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Google Search|Google}} keeps track of which searches are most popular in which regions as part of more general data mining to improve their service. For the enjoyment/education of others, they release select, non-personal parts of this data under the banner "[http://www.google.com/trends/ Google Trends]."

The first statistic – that "Men kissing" was popular in {{w|Utah}}, a state known for possessing a large population with very conservative social values, including opposition to homosexuality – is real. The others are made up for the sake of the joke. In order:

*'''"Installing Ubuntu" – Redmond, WA''': {{w|Ubuntu}} is a {{w|Linux}} distribution; {{w|Redmond, Washington}} is home to {{w|Microsoft}}, the company that makes the rival operating system {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}.
*'''"Running for President in 2010" – Wasilla, AK''': 2010 was not a presidential election year in the United States; {{w|Wasilla, Alaska}} is home to {{w|Sarah Palin}}, a politician known for making such gaffes and who was {{w|John McCain}}'s {{w|running mate}} in the {{w|United States presidential election, 2008|2008 election}} that occurred a few weeks before this comic.
*'''"Lincoln Fan Fiction" – Chicago, IL''': {{w|Abraham Lincoln}} was the US president from 1861 to his assassination in 1865; {{w|Chicago, Illinois}} is home to {{w|Barack Obama}}, who apparently reads (presumably {{w|erotic}}) {{w|fanfiction}} about the former president.
*'''"Raptors on Hoverboards" – Somerville, MA''': {{w|Velociraptors}} are a favorite xkcd topic; there are also frequently references to ''{{w|Back to the Future}}'' as with the {{w|hoverboards}} here. {{w|Somerville, Massachusetts}} is home to [[Randall Munroe]]. The speed of a ''Raptor on Hoverboard'' is given in [[526: Converting to Metric]].
*'''"How is babby formed" – Wasilla, AK''': "How is babby formed?" was the title (and most of the content) of an infamous Yahoo! Answers question (see the title text of [[481: Listen to Yourself]] and [[550: Density]]). Wasilla, Alaska is, again, home to {{w|Sarah Palin}}; a few months prior to this comic's release, Sarah Palin revealed that her daughter, {{w|Bristol Palin}}, was pregnant out of wedlock. Ironically, before her pregnancy, Bristol Palin advocated sexual abstinence before marriage<ref name="Time.com">Time (May 08, 2009). "[ Nancy Gibbs: In Defense of Bristol Palin, Abstinence Spokeswoman](https://content.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1896815,00.html)"</ref> as well as banning sex education in schools{{Actual citation needed}}. Ignorance of common contraceptives like condoms can cause unplanned pregnancies to happen.
*'''"I hate this website" – Mountain View, CA''': {{w|Mountain View, California}} is home to {{w|Google}}'s headquarters. The implication is that Google employees are putting "I hate this website" into Google.

With regards to the excerpt Randall provides in the title text:
*{{w|Slash fiction}} is a genre of fan fiction that focuses on homosexual behavior.
*Lincoln/Obama (pronounced Lincoln slash Obama) fan fiction normally should be between Abraham Lincoln and Barack Obama.
*The "more perfect union" line comes from the preamble to the US Constitution: "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union...". However, it seems to have a sexual connotation in this case.
*{{w|Ethanol}} is the more scientific name for drinking alcohol, or simply alcohol.
*"{{w|Common ethanol fuel mixtures#E10_or_less|10% ethanol}}" refers to automotive gasoline that includes 10% ethanol (usually made from corn or other vegetables), with the hopes of reducing the dependence on oil for fuel.

==Transcript==
:Bloggers were recently amused to discover that,
:according to Google Trends, the search term:
:"men kissing" is most popular in conservative Utah.
:A few other embarrassing correlations:

:[A two-column table]
:[On the left side of the table:]
:;Search Term

:;Installing Ubuntu

:;Running for President in 2010

:;Lincoln Fan Fiction

:;Raptors on Hoverboards

:;How is babby formed?

:;I hate this website

:[On the right side of the table:]
:;Top City

:;Redmond, WA

:;Wasilla, AK

:;Chicago, IL

:;Somerville, MA

:;Wasilla, AK

:;Mountain View, CA

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Homosexuality]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

522: Google Trends

2024-01-04T23:33:42Z

Alcazar84: fixed grammar errors

{{comic
| number = 522
| date = December 26, 2008
| title = Google Trends
| image = google_trends.png
| titletext = Obama has been writing Lincoln/Obama erotic fan fiction on his secret livejournal. Excerpt: Lincoln lay back on the bed, nude save for his trademark stovepipe hat. 'Tell me,' he purred seductively, as he and Obama formed a more perfect union. 'When you come, is it 10% ethanol?'
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Google Search|Google}} keeps track of which searches are most popular in which regions as part of more general data mining to improve their service. For the enjoyment/education of others, they release select, non-personal parts of this data under the banner "[http://www.google.com/trends/ Google Trends]."

The first statistic – that "Men kissing" was popular in {{w|Utah}}, a state known for possessing a large population with very conservative social values, including opposition to homosexuality – is real. The others are made up for the sake of the joke. In order:

*'''"Installing Ubuntu" – Redmond, WA''': {{w|Ubuntu}} is a {{w|Linux}} distribution; {{w|Redmond, Washington}} is home to {{w|Microsoft}}, the company that makes the rival operating system {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}.
*'''"Running for President in 2010" – Wasilla, AK''': 2010 was not a presidential election year in the United States; {{w|Wasilla, Alaska}} is home to {{w|Sarah Palin}}, a politician known for making such gaffes and who was {{w|John McCain}}'s {{w|running mate}} in the {{w|United States presidential election, 2008|2008 election}} that occurred a few weeks before this comic.
*'''"Lincoln Fan Fiction" – Chicago, IL''': {{w|Abraham Lincoln}} was the US president from 1861 to his assassination in 1865; {{w|Chicago, Illinois}} is home to {{w|Barack Obama}}, who apparently reads (presumably {{w|erotic}}) {{w|fanfiction}} about the former president.
*'''"Raptors on Hoverboards" – Somerville, MA''': {{w|Velociraptors}} are a favorite xkcd topic; there are also frequently references to ''{{w|Back to the Future}}'' as with the {{w|hoverboards}} here. {{w|Somerville, Massachusetts}} is home to [[Randall Munroe]]. The speed of a ''Raptor on Hoverboard'' is given in [[526: Converting to Metric]].
*'''"How is babby formed" – Wasilla, AK''': "How is babby formed?" was the title (and most of the content) of an infamous Yahoo! Answers question (see the title text of [[481: Listen to Yourself]] and [[550: Density]]). Wasilla, Alaska is, again, home to {{w|Sarah Palin}}; a few months prior to this comic's release, Sarah Palin revealed that her daughter, {{w|Bristol Palin}}, was pregnant out of wedlock. Ironically, before her pregnancy, Bristol Palin advocated sexual abstinence before marriage<ref name="Time.com">Time (May 08, 2009). "[ Nancy Gibbs: In Defense of Bristol Palin, Abstinence Spokeswoman](https://content.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1896815,00.html)"</ref> as well as banning sex education in schools{{Actual citation needed}}. Ignorance of common contraceptives like condoms can cause unplanned pregnancies to happen.
*'''"I hate this website" – Mountain View, CA''': {{w|Mountain View, California}} is home to {{w|Google}}'s headquarters. The implication is that Google employees are putting "I hate this website" into Google.

With regards to the excerpt Randall provides in the title text:
*{{w|Slash fiction}} is a genre of fan fiction that focuses on homosexual behavior.
*Lincoln/Obama (pronounced Lincoln slash Obama) fan fiction normally should be between Abraham Lincoln and Barack Obama.
*The "more perfect union" line comes from the preamble to the US Constitution: "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union...". However, it seems to have a sexual connotation in this case.
*{{w|Ethanol}} is the more scientific name for drinking alcohol, or simply alcohol.
*"{{w|Common ethanol fuel mixtures#E10_or_less|10% ethanol}}" refers to automotive gasoline that includes 10% ethanol (usually made from corn or other vegetables), with the hopes of reducing the dependence on oil for fuel.

==Transcript==
:Bloggers were recently amused to discover that,
:according to Google Trends, the search term:
:"men kissing" is most popular in conservative Utah.
:A few other embarrassing correlations:

:[A two column table]
:[On the left side of the table:]
:;Search Term

:;Installing Ubuntu

:;Running for President in 2010

:;Lincoln Fan Fiction

:;Raptors on Hoverboards

:;How is babby formed?

:;I hate this website

:[On the right side of the table:]
:;Top City

:;Redmond, WA

:;Wasilla, AK

:;Chicago, IL

:;Somerville, MA

:;Wasilla, AK

:;Mountain View, CA

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Homosexuality]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

521: 2008 Christmas Special

2024-01-04T23:29:40Z

Alcazar84: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 521
| date = December 24, 2008
| title = 2008 Christmas Special
| image = 2008_christmas_special.png
| titletext = 'How could you possibly think typing 'import skynet' was a good idea?'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is the xkcd Christmas Special from the year 2008. The prologue states that due to the {{w|2008 financial crisis}}, only very few images of the strip could be produced, leaving the others to be blacked out. It is therefore left to the reader to reconstruct the whole story based on the given images. While it is claimed that the reconstruction should be rather easy, the complicated and abstruse plot-line makes it nearly impossible to fill the gaps. Any attempt at inferring the missing images would therefore be largely guesswork. The comic features the well-known xkcd characters getting involved in a strange fight with cyborgs and raptors on Christmas Eve.

The line "We apologize for the inconvenience." is possibly a reference to the famous book series ''{{w|The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy}}'' by {{w|Douglas Adams}}. It appears there as God's Final Message to His Creation, written in letters of fire on the side of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains.

'''Panel 2:''' [[Megan]] strives to outdo some Christmas lights she has seen on YouTube.

'''Panel 3:''' Dissatisfied with her work, Megan is thinking about alternative ways to improve her light arrangement. The idea of firing {{w|Sodium}} pellets into snow is probably a bad one, as Sodium reacts exothermically with water and may, in large amounts, induce explosions.

'''Panel 5:''' Probably still obsessed with creating a large and impressive light display, Megan has constructed an electronic device with an {{w|Arduino}} processor, perhaps to make the light chain show patterns. However, the energy she used was too high, causing one of the control boards to sublimate – go directly from a solid to a gaseous state without an intermediate liquid phase. She then wishes she could make the system self-repairing.

'''Panel 7:''' Megan's device has developed {{w|artificial intelligence}}, allowing it to feel. This is presumably a result of Megan attempting to make the device self-repairing. This common trope in science-fiction works usually leads to the system's attempt to eradicate its creator. [[Cueball]] attributes the emergence of a personality to the awesome ease and power of programming in {{w|Python (programming language)|Python}}.

'''Panel 11:''' Out of context, this panel introduces the idea of {{w|Santa Claus}} being a {{w|Muslim}}. This may be a reference to the persistent Internet rumours that Barack Obama is a Muslim, though he declares himself to be a Christian. However, the statement could also relate to the fact that Santa Claus is usually displayed with a large beard, which is sometimes also sported by conservative Muslims. Or it could just be nonsensical.

'''Panel 13:''' At this point, the self-aware Christmas light control systems have released {{w|cyborgs}} that tried to kill Megan and Cueball. To repel the cyborgs, they have cloned {{w|Velociraptors}}. Cueball expresses doubt about whether that was a good idea. Velociraptors appear frequently in xkcd, as seen in [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Velociraptors these comics]

'''Panel 17:''' As predicted, the raptors have gone wild, but Megan, Cueball, and the two smaller characters (perhaps their children) managed to cage the dinosaurs. They believe themselves safe unless the raptors learn how to build {{w|lightsabers}}. This is a reference to a line in {{w|'' Jurassic Park''}} where the main characters believe themselves safe unless the raptors can learn how to open doors.

'''Panel 19:''' The raptors have indeed succeeded with constructing lightsabers and must now be fought. The "Clever girl" refers to a line from ''Jurassic Park'' where the raptors outflank (and kill) one of the human characters wearing a similar hat. “Snap-hiss” is a common phrase originated by Timothy Zahn to describe the sound of a lightsaber igniting in Star Wars literature.<ref>Zahn, Timothy, "Author Annotations: Chapter 7, 1", Star Wars: Heir to the Empire: The 20th Anniversary Edition, ISBN 0345530004, "I thought long and hard about how to write the sound of an igniting lightsaber. I finally went with snap-hiss.", corroborated by [https://boards.theforce.net/threads/snap-hiss.25830511/ forums]</ref>

'''Panel 23:''' IT billionaire {{w|Bill Gates}} has mistakenly killed Santa Claus, possibly in a sword fight. He claims to have mistaken him for [[Richard Stallman]], a prominent {{w|free software}} activist. (Gates strongly opposes the idea of free software and is therefore considered an antagonist by many of its supporters.) The most striking resemblance between Stallman and Santa Claus is probably the long and untamed beard. [[225: Open Source]] features Stallman involved in a sword fight. Only much later did [[Randall]] again kill of Santa in his Christmas comics, but then twice in only three years. First in [[2559: December 25th Launch]] from 2021 and then in [[2872: Hydrothermal Vents]] from 2023.

'''Panel 29:''' Megan, possibly [[Danish]], asks [[Black Hat]] where he obtained the enormously large {{w|Christmas tree}} that can be seen on the right side of the picture. It is implied that he logged {{w|Yggdrasil}}, a giant ash tree in Norse mythology. According to tradition, Yggdrasil is the world tree representing the whole of creation and holding together the cosmological structure.

'''Panel 31:''' [[Randall]] wishes Merry Christmas to all xkcd readers.

The title text refers to panel 7. In Python, modules are imported using the "import ''module''" syntax. {{w|Skynet (Terminator)|Skynet}} is a self-aware artificial intelligence system featured in the ''{{w|Terminator}}'' film series as the main antagonist. Importing the Skynet module might therefore account for Megan's system's developing an evil personality.

Note that this comic was first published in another version that had panel 29 as panel 27 and the "Merry Christmas from xkcd" message at the bottom. As 27 is not a {{w|prime number}}, the current version was published in place of the erroneous one.

It has been observed that the top left nine panels form a {{w|Glider (Conway's Life)|Glider}} in ''{{w|Conway's Game of Life}}''. The glider is sometimes used as an emblem representing {{w|hacker subculture}}, although rotated by 90 degrees. It remains however unclear whether the occurrence in the comic is intentional or owed to the prime number pattern. Also, if you put the shown comic panels in The Game of Life, it turns into a Beehive (for some reason).

==Transcript==
:The 2008 XKCD Christmas Special
:Due to the slowing economy, we could only afford to produce the prime-numbered panels.
:You should be able to infer the missing parts of the story easily enough.
:We apologize for the inconvenience.
:[The first panel is blank.]
:[Megan carrying Christmas lights and Cueball watching.]
:Megan: I'm going to one-up those Christmas light displays on YouTube.
:[Megan thinking.]
:Megan: Hmm. Needs more flair. Do you know what happens when you fire sodium pellets into a snowbank?
:Cueball: No.
:Megan: Me neither.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan sitting in front of a console.]
:Megan: Whoops, one of the Arduino control boards sublimated.
:Megan: If only I could make it self-repairing...
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Shit. The system has become sentient.
:Cueball: Friggin' Python.
:System: GRAAARR!
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Megan showing laptop to Cueball.]
:Megan: But according to this email forward, Santa is secretly a Muslim!
:Cueball: It explains everything!
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Okay, the cloned raptors are hunting the last of the cyborgs. We're safe.
:Cueball: Are you sure you thought this through?
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Two couples appear in this next panel.]
:Cueball: Are the raptors contained?
:Ponytail: Sure. Unless they figure out how to build lightsabers.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Guy with hat fighting with a raptor using lightsabers.]
:Cueball: It's all right. I've got her.
:[Lightsaber appears from behind.]
:Snap-hiss!
:Cueball: ...Clever girl.
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Bill Gates is holding a weapon over Santa's body. The two girls are watching.]
:Megan: Great. Bill Gates kills Santa.
:Bill Gates: I thought it was Stallman with a dyed beard.
:[The next five panels are blank.]
:[Danish and Black Hat are looking at a tree.]
:Danish: Where did you get this Christmas tree?
:Black Hat: Nowhere.
:Danish: Did you cut down the Yggdrasil?
:Black Hat: ...Maybe.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan and Cueball holding hands and looking at reader.]
:Merry Christmas from XKCD <3
:[The last panel is blank.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Richard Stallman]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Christmas]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Terminator]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]

521: 2008 Christmas Special

2024-01-04T23:25:58Z

Alcazar84: fixed grammar errors

{{comic
| number = 521
| date = December 24, 2008
| title = 2008 Christmas Special
| image = 2008_christmas_special.png
| titletext = 'How could you possibly think typing 'import skynet' was a good idea?'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is the xkcd Christmas Special from the year 2008. The prologue states that due to the {{w|2008 financial crisis}}, only very few images of the strip could be produced, leaving the others to be blacked out. It is therefore left to the reader to reconstruct the whole story based on the given images. While it is claimed that the reconstruction should be rather easy, the complicated and abstruse plot-line makes it nearly impossible to fill the gaps. Any attempt at inferring the missing images would therefore be largely guesswork. The comic features the well-known xkcd characters getting involved in a strange fight with cyborgs and raptors on Christmas Eve.

The line "We apologize for the inconvenience." is possibly a reference to the famous book series ''{{w|The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy}}'' by {{w|Douglas Adams}}. It appears there as God's Final Message to His Creation, written in letters of fire on the side of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains.

'''Panel 2:''' [[Megan]] strives to outdo some Christmas lights she has seen on YouTube.

'''Panel 3:''' Dissatisfied with her work, Megan is thinking about alternative ways to improve her light arrangement. The idea of firing {{w|Sodium}} pellets into snow is probably a bad one, as Sodium reacts exothermically with water and may, in large amounts, induce explosions.

'''Panel 5:''' Probably still obsessed with creating a large and impressive light display, Megan has constructed an electronic device with an {{w|Arduino}} processor, perhaps to make the light chain show patterns. However, the energy she used was too high, causing one of the control boards to sublimate - go directly from a solid to a gaseous state without an intermediate liquid phase. She then wishes she could make the system self-repairing.

'''Panel 7:''' Megan's device has developed {{w|artificial intelligence}}, allowing it to feel. This is presumably a result of Megan attempting to make the device self-repairing. This common trope in science-fiction works usually leads to the system's attempt to eradicate its creator. [[Cueball]] attributes the emergence of a personality to the awesome ease and power of programming in {{w|Python (programming language)|Python}}.

'''Panel 11:''' Out of context, this panel introduces the idea of {{w|Santa Claus}} being a {{w|Muslim}}. This may be a reference to the persistent Internet rumours that Barack Obama is a Muslim, though he declares himself to be a Christian. However, the statement could also relate to the fact that Santa Claus is usually displayed with a large beard, which is sometimes also sported by conservative Muslims. Or it could just be nonsensical.

'''Panel 13:''' At this point, the self-aware Christmas light control systems have released {{w|cyborgs}} that tried to kill Megan and Cueball. To repel the cyborgs, they have cloned {{w|Velociraptors}}. Cueball expresses doubt about whether that was a good idea. Velociraptors appear frequently in xkcd, as seen in [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Velociraptors these comics]

'''Panel 17:''' As predicted, the raptors have gone wild, but Megan, Cueball, and the two smaller characters (perhaps their children) managed to cage the dinosaurs. They believe themselves safe unless the raptors learn how to build {{w|lightsabers}}. This is a reference to a line in {{w|'' Jurassic Park''}} where the main characters believe themselves safe unless the raptors can learn how to open doors.

'''Panel 19:''' The raptors have indeed succeeded with constructing lightsabers and must now be fought. The "Clever girl" refers to a line from ''Jurassic Park'' where the raptors outflank (and kill) one of the human characters wearing a similar hat. “Snap-hiss” is a common phrase originated by Timothy Zahn to describe the sound of a lightsaber igniting in Star Wars literature.<ref>Zahn, Timothy, "Author Annotations: Chapter 7, 1", Star Wars: Heir to the Empire: The 20th Anniversary Edition, ISBN 0345530004, "I thought long and hard about how to write the sound of an igniting lightsaber. I finally went with snap-hiss.", corroborated by [https://boards.theforce.net/threads/snap-hiss.25830511/ forums]</ref>

'''Panel 23:''' IT billionaire {{w|Bill Gates}} has mistakenly killed Santa Claus, possibly in a sword fight. He claims to have mistaken him for [[Richard Stallman]], a prominent {{w|free software}} activist. (Gates strongly opposes the idea of free software and is therefore considered an antagonist by many of its supporters.) The most striking resemblance between Stallman and Santa Claus is probably the long and untamed beard. [[225: Open Source]] features Stallman involved in a sword fight. Only much later did [[Randall]] again kill of Santa in his Christmas comics, but then twice in only three years. First in [[2559: December 25th Launch]] from 2021 and then in [[2872: Hydrothermal Vents]] from 2023.

'''Panel 29:''' Megan, possibly [[Danish]], asks [[Black Hat]] where he obtained the enormously large {{w|Christmas tree}} that can be seen on the right side of the picture. It is implied that he logged {{w|Yggdrasil}}, a giant ash tree in Norse mythology. According to tradition, Yggdrasil is the world tree representing the whole of creation and holding together the cosmological structure.

'''Panel 31:''' [[Randall]] wishes Merry Christmas to all xkcd readers.

The title text refers to panel 7. In Python, modules are imported using the "import ''module''" syntax. {{w|Skynet (Terminator)|Skynet}} is a self-aware artificial intelligence system featured in the ''{{w|Terminator}}'' film series as the main antagonist. Importing the Skynet module might therefore account for Megan's system's developing an evil personality.

Note that this comic was first published in another version that had panel 29 as panel 27 and the "Merry Christmas from xkcd" message at the bottom. As 27 is not a {{w|prime number}}, the current version was published in place of the erroneous one.

It has been observed that the top left nine panels form a {{w|Glider (Conway's Life)|Glider}} in ''{{w|Conway's Game of Life}}''. The glider is sometimes used as an emblem representing {{w|hacker subculture}}, although rotated by 90 degrees. It remains however unclear whether the occurrence in the comic is intentional or owed to the prime number pattern. Also, if you put the shown comic panels in The Game of Life, it turns into a Beehive (for some reason).

==Transcript==
:The 2008 XKCD Christmas Special
:Due to the slowing economy, we could only afford to produce the prime-numbered panels.
:You should be able to infer the missing parts of the story easily enough.
:We apologize for the inconvenience.
:[The first panel is blank.]
:[Megan carrying Christmas lights and Cueball watching.]
:Megan: I'm going to one-up those Christmas light displays on YouTube.
:[Megan thinking.]
:Megan: Hmm. Needs more flair. Do you know what happens when you fire sodium pellets into a snowbank?
:Cueball: No.
:Megan: Me neither.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan sitting in front of a console.]
:Megan: Whoops, one of the Arduino control boards sublimated.
:Megan: If only I could make it self-repairing...
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Shit. The system has become sentient.
:Cueball: Friggin' Python.
:System: GRAAARR!
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Megan showing laptop to Cueball.]
:Megan: But according to this email forward, Santa is secretly a Muslim!
:Cueball: It explains everything!
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Okay, the cloned raptors are hunting the last of the cyborgs. We're safe.
:Cueball: Are you sure you thought this through?
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Two couples appear in this next panel.]
:Cueball: Are the raptors contained?
:Ponytail: Sure. Unless they figure out how to build lightsabers.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Guy with hat fighting with a raptor using lightsabers.]
:Cueball: It's all right. I've got her.
:[Lightsaber appears from behind.]
:Snap-hiss!
:Cueball: ...Clever girl.
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Bill Gates is holding a weapon over Santa's body. The two girls are watching.]
:Megan: Great. Bill Gates kills Santa.
:Bill Gates: I thought it was Stallman with a dyed beard.
:[The next five panels are blank.]
:[Danish and Black Hat are looking at a tree.]
:Danish: Where did you get this Christmas tree?
:Black Hat: Nowhere.
:Danish: Did you cut down the Yggdrasil?
:Black Hat: ...Maybe.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan and Cueball holding hands and looking at reader.]
:Merry Christmas from XKCD <3
:[The last panel is blank.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Richard Stallman]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Christmas]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Terminator]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]

520: Cuttlefish

2022-06-05T14:26:49Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 520
| date = December 22, 2008
| title = Cuttlefish
| image = cuttlefish.png
| titletext = Unless the CS students finish the robot revolution before you finish the cephalopod one.
}}

==Explanation==
It appears that [[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] are {{w|physicists}} visiting a biology lab. Their guide, a {{w|biologist}} looking like Cueball, gives them a description of the humble {{w|cuttlefish}} that is both accurate and makes them sound like other-worldly creatures with highly advanced capabilities.

The scene takes an unusual turn when the scientist implies that the cuttlefish have been easily trained to improve their capabilities. He then demonstrates this by giving a simple command, whereupon the cuttlefish rise out of the water, only to attack and kill both Cueball and Megan, demonstrating an ability to fly, talk, and discharge lethal electric shocks in the process. (See also [[35: Sheep]]).

This is all revealed to be a dream, but it has given Cueball a warning not to underestimate the biologists. Apparently, they can be just as crazy and dangerous as any other kind of scientist. Cueball (who represent [[Randall]] as it is xkcd that salutes in the final panel) offers a toast to all biologists everywhere and plans an alliance with them against the {{w|chemists}}, hoping to prevent further attacks on physicists. He is then shown drinking from a laboratory flask, something that any scientist would be wary of.

In the past, Randall has been somewhat dismissive of the non-math/non-physics scientific disciplines, so this comic may be trying to mend some bridges with biologists. But not with chemists.

In the title text, CS stands for {{w|Computer Science}}. The "robot revolution" references events in film and literature, wherein robots, having become commonplace in the workforce, achieve independent thought and declare war on humanity, like in ''{{w|The Terminator}}'', ''{{w|The Matrix}}'', or the movie ''{{w|I, Robot}}''. Randall implies that the physicists will switch sides if the robot revolution arrives first. {{w|Cephalopod}} is the class of animals that encompasses cuttlefish, as well as {{w|squids}} and {{w|octopodes}}.

==Transcript==
:[A scientist (looking like Cueball) is pointing into an aquarium tank with two small animals floating in the water. He explains that they are cuttlefish to Cueball and Megan, who are on the other side of the tank looking into it, Cueball with a hand to his mouth. Above them there is a frame inside the panel with a caption:]
:We visit a bio lab:
:Scientist: These are cuttlefish.

:[Very detailed drawing of a cuttlefish, with its special W shaped pupils, all eight arms and two longer tentacles, and the striped body with waving parts shown waving down each side. The scientist tells about the animal with text above and below.]
:Scientist (off-panel): They're frighteningly smart, have manipulating arms and tentacles, have ink jets, can dart backwards and see the polarization of light through their w-shaped pupils.
:Scientist (off-panel): And their sides are 200 dpi display screens which they use for camouflage and communication.

:[Back to the original setting where the scientist stands a little farther back from the tank with his arms down. Cueball and Megan have also moved farther back and are even leaning away from the tank.]
:Scientist: When we realized how intelligent they were, we began to teach them.
:Scientist: They've advanced quickly.
:Scientist: '''Cuttlefish: GO.'''

:[The two cuttlefish float straight out of the tank (lines indicating the movement and water splashing at the surface of the tank). The scientist looks down at them, while Cueball and Megan are holding hands and leaning farther back and Cueball taking his hand back to his mouth.]

:[Pan to only the scientist, standing with one arm bend in front of him and the other holding a finger up to his mouth, and the tank from where the cuttlefish now fly toward Cueball and Megan, who are now off-panel. Lines behind the cuttlefish show that they fly right but bob up and down. The cuttlefish talk in a strange way where the letters are alternately up and down.]
:Cuttlefish: K<big>i</big>l<big>l</big> t<big>h</big>e P<big>h</big>y<big>s</big>i<big>c</big>i<big>s</big>t<big>s</big>
:Cuttlefish: K<big>i</big>l<big>l</big> t<big>h</big>e Ph<big>y</big>s<big>i</big>c<big>i</big>st<big>s</big>
:[Pan to Megan and Cueball, with the tank almost inside the left frame. Both cuttlefish are surrounded by their own zigzag lines, which then extend from them in a thin line to encompass either Cueball or Megan. Cueball was running away from them, when this happens, with legs bent at the knees and arms out, one bent. Megan has fallen, lying face down with her arms out.]

:[In this panel with faint gray shading, Cueball is waking up in bed from the dream, rising up to a sitting position suddenly as indicated with two movement lines behind his head. One arm is supporting him on the bed next to the pillow, and the other is pulling his sheet down away from his torso. The first sentence is maybe still part of the dream, as there is no line from Cueball to the sentence, and it is written high up. There is a line to the second sentence.]
:Cueball: Oh god.
:Cueball: I knew it.

:[This panel is divided into five segments. At the top, there is a large caption in two lines. There are three drawings following each other from left to right. First, a bottle is pouring liquid into a an Erlenmeyer flask (a conical laboratory flask) that is half full. Then, Cueball takes the flask and holds it up as a salute. Finally, he drinks from it, leaning his head way back. Below there is more text.]
:<big>xkcd</big>
:Salutes Bio Majors
:If we join you against the chemists, will you train your fleshy minions to leave us alive?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Dreams]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Animals]]

520: Cuttlefish

2022-01-10T02:22:44Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 520
| date = December 22, 2008
| title = Cuttlefish
| image = cuttlefish.png
| titletext = Unless the CS students finish the robot revolution before you finish the cephalopod one.
}}

==Explanation==
It appears that [[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] are {{w|physicists}} visiting a biology lab. Their guide, a {{w|biologist}} looking like Cueball, gives them a description of the humble {{w|cuttlefish}} that is both accurate and makes them sound like other-worldly creatures with highly advanced capabilities.

The scene takes an unusual turn when the scientist implies that the cuttlefish have been easily trained to improve their capabilities. He then demonstrates this by giving a simple command, whereupon the cuttlefish rise out of the water, only to attack and kill both Cueball and Megan, demonstrating an ability to fly, talk, and discharge lethal electric shocks in the process. (See also [[35: Sheep]]).

This is all revealed to be a dream, but it has given Cueball a warning not to underestimate the biologists. Apparently, they can be just as crazy and dangerous as any other kind of scientist. Cueball (who represent [[Randall]] as it is xkcd that salutes in the final panel) offers a toast to all biologists everywhere and plans an alliance with them against the {{w|chemists}}, hoping to prevent further attacks on physicists. He is then shown drinking from a laboratory flask, something that any scientist would be wary of.

In the past, Randall has been somewhat dismissive of the non-math/non-physics scientific disciplines, so this comic may be trying to mend some bridges with biologists. But not with chemists.

In the title text, CS stands for {{w|Computer Science}}. The "robot revolution" references events in film and literature, wherein robots, having become commonplace in the workforce, achieve independent thought and declare war on humanity, like in ''{{w|The Terminator}}'', ''{{w|The Matrix}}'', or the movie ''{{w|I, Robot}}''. Randall implies that the physicists will switch sides if the robot revolution arrives first. {{w|Cephalopod}} is the class of animals that encompasses cuttlefish, as well as {{w|squids}} and {{w|octopodes}}.

==Transcript==
:[A scientist (looking like Cueball) is pointing into an aquarium tank with two small animals floating in the water. He explains that they are cuttlefish to Cueball and Megan who are on the other side of the tank looking into it, Cueball with a hand to his mouth. Above them there is a frame inside the panel with a caption:]
:We visit a bio lab:
:Scientist: These are cuttlefish.

:[Very detailed drawing of a cuttlefish, with it's special W shaped pupils, all eight arms and two longer tentacles, and the striped body with waving parts shown waving down each side. The scientist tells about the animal with text above and below.]
:Scientist (off-panel): They're frighteningly smart, have manipulating arms and tentacles, have ink jets, can dart backwards and see the polarization of light through their w-shaped pupils.
:Scientist (off-panel): And their sides are 200 dpi display screens which they use for camouflage and communication.

:[Back to the original setting where the scientist stand a little further back from the tank with his arms down. Cueball and Megan has also moved further back and are even leaning away from the tank]
:Scientist: When we realized how intelligent they were, we began to teach them.
:Scientist: They've advanced quickly.
:Scientist: '''Cuttlefish: GO.'''

:[The two cuttlefish float straight out of the tank (lines indicating they movement water splashing at the surface of the tank). The scientist looks down at them, while Cueball and Megan holding hands and leans further back and Cueball takes his hand back to his mouth.]

:[Pan to only the scientist, standing with one arm bend in front of him and the other holding a finger up to his mouth, and the tank from where the cuttlefish now flies towards Cueball and Megan who are now off-panel. Lines behind the cuttlefish shows they fly right but bobbing up and down. The cuttlefish talks in a strange way where the letters are alternately up and down.]
:Cuttlefish: K<big>i</big>l<big>l</big> t<big>h</big>e P<big>h</big>y<big>s</big>i<big>c</big>i<big>s</big>t<big>s</big>
:Cuttlefish: K<big>i</big>l<big>l</big> t<big>h</big>e Ph<big>y</big>s<big>i</big>c<big>i</big>st<big>s</big>
:[Pan to Megan and Cueball, with the tank almost inside the left frame. Both cuttlefish is surrounded by their own zigzag line, which then extends from them in a thin line to encompass either Cueball or Megan. Cueball was running away from them, when this happens, legs bend at the knees and arms out and one bend. Megan has fallen lying face down arms out.]

:[In this panel with faint gray shading Cueball is waking up in bed from the dream rising up to sitting position suddenly as indicated with two movement lines behind his head. One arm is supporting him on the bed next to the pillow, and the other is pulling his sheet down away from his torso. The first sentence is maybe still part of the dream as there is no line from Cueball to the sentence, and it is written high up. There is a line to the second sentence.]
:Cueball: Oh god.
:Cueball: I knew it.

:[This panel is divided into five segments. At the top there is a large caption in two lines. The there are three drawings following each other from left to right. First a bottle is pouring liquid into a an Erlenmeyer flask (a conical laboratory flask) which is half full. Then Cueball takes the flask and holds it up as a salute. Finally he drinks from it leaning his head way back. Below there is more text.]
:<big>xkcd</big>
:Salutes Bio Majors
:If we join you against the chemists, will you train your fleshy minions to leave us alive?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Dreams]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Animals]]

519: 11th Grade

2021-12-08T21:44:22Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 519
| date = December 19, 2008
| title = 11th Grade
| image = 11th_grade.png
| titletext = And the ten minutes striking up a conversation with that strange kid in homeroom sometimes matters more than every other part of high school combined.
}}

==Explanation==
This strip is a comparison about the time spent in 11th grade doing various things, and how important those things are to one's future. The first two bars on the chart are 900 hours of class, which is about 180 hours short of how many hours kids spend in school each year (most likely to show the lunch hour), and 400 hours of homework, or an average of about 2.2 hours per school day. Conversely, idly messing around in {{w|Perl}} (a programming language) for only one weekend is shown to have a much larger impact on one's future — specifically Randall's, as learning how to code would have been key to his job as a robotics engineer at NASA. This is likely due to the skills one can pick up in even just a single weekend in contrast to the often redundant, trivial, or generalist information that schools tend to convey.

This is mainly a critique to how school subjects can be rather useless for one's future or that the school is so boring that students are discouraged to pay attention in class.

The title text continues this sentiment; the fact that the subject of the conversation is left shrouded in mystery deepens the romance (in all senses of the word).

==Transcript==
:[Above a bar graph:]
:11th-grade activities:
:[The y-axis is labeled:]
:Usefulness to career success
:[Above the x-axis are two small bars and one huge bar. Below the x-axis, each bar is labeled:]
:900 hours of classes
:400 hours of homework
:One weekend messing with Perl

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Bar charts]]
[[Category:Programming]]

519: 11th Grade

2021-12-08T21:43:32Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 519
| date = December 19, 2008
| title = 11th Grade
| image = 11th_grade.png
| titletext = And the ten minutes striking up a conversation with that strange kid in homeroom sometimes matters more than every other part of high school combined.
}}

==Explanation==
This strip is a comparison about the time spent in 11th grade doing various things, and how important those things are to one's future. The first two bars on the chart are 900 hours of class, which is about 180 hours short of how many hours kids spend in school each year (most likely to show the lunch hour), and 400 hours of homework, or an average of about 2.2 hours per school day. Conversely, idly messing around in {{w|Perl}} (a programming language) for only one weekend is shown to have a much larger impact on one's future — specifically Randall's, as learning how to code would have been key to his job as a robotics engineer at NASA. This is likely due to the skills one can pick up in even just a single weekend in contrast to the often redundant, trivial, or generalist information that schools tend to convey.

This is mainly a critique to how school subjects can be rather useless for one's future or that the school is so boring that students are discouraged to pay attention in class.

The title text continues this sentiment; the fact that the subject of the conversation is left shrouded in mystery deepens the romance (in all senses of the word).

==Transcript==
:[Above a bar graph:]
:11th-grade activities:
:[The y axis is labeled:]
:Usefulness to career success
:[Above the x-axis are two small and one huge bar. Below the axis each bar is labeled:]
:900 hours of classes
:400 hours of homework
:One weekend messing with Perl

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Bar charts]]
[[Category:Programming]]

518: Flow Charts

2021-12-08T21:41:46Z

Alcazar84: I need to draw a picture to describe why "diamond" is not an accurate description of a rhombus.

{{comic
| number = 518
| date = December 17, 2008
| title = Flow Charts
| image = flow_charts.png
| titletext = At 8 drinks, you switch the torrent from FreeBSD to Microsoft Bob. C'mon, it'll be fun!
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Flowchart|Flowcharts}} are diagrams that represent processes in a graphical form. While predominantly used in {{w|computer programming}} to visualize the structure of source code, flowcharts can in theory be used to depict any real or virtual procedure. In this comic, this idea is subverted by employing a flowchart to explain how flowcharts work. Flowcharts are a recurring theme on xkcd, and a list of flowchart comics can be found [[:Category:Flowcharts|here]].

This seems like a faulty basis for explaining anything, but the basic functionality of flowcharts is quite intuitive, and the attempted self-description is almost unnecessary. In fact, the comic does not actually explain how to use the flowchart: it just uses an example of a very simple flowchart to demonstrate to the reader that they can easily work out how to follow it. If the reader attempts to "game" the system by either giving contradictory answers, or refusing to acknowledge that they can see the "Yes" and "No" labels, the flowchart gets confused or becomes abusive. <strike>Just like a real computer.</strike>

If you confirm or demonstrate that you can follow the flowchart, it inevitably leads to the "Let's go drink" box, which gives rise to the assumption that the whole chart was only a pretence for drinking.

{{w|FreeBSD}} is a {{w|unixoid}} operating system for computers that is generally considered to require advanced skills. The question whether {{w|Linux}} or (Free)BSD is the preferable operating system is a question of almost religious belief to some. The comic takes a shot against FreeBSD by implying that one would only decide to install it when under the influence of alcohol. This may also be a reference to [[349: Success]].

The title text mentions {{w|Microsoft Bob}}, a software package published in 1995 by {{w|Microsoft}}. The product was targeted towards beginners, and Microsoft decided to use a cartoon-style interface instead of a more 'professional' environment. It was a commercial failure, and still serves as an inside joke among IT professionals.

[[Randall]] has made use of [[:Category:Flowcharts|flowcharts]] before, and later he released another comic name [[1195: Flowchart]].

==Transcript==
:[A flow chart is shown beneath a caption. There are 14 boxes, five rhombus shaped and the rest rectangular. From all the rhombus boxes there are one arrow entering and two arrows leaving (with yes/no labels on them). One of the other boxes is the start with only one arrow leaving, and three of these boxes are endings with only one arrow entering. Three have two arrows entering and one leaving. And two have one in and one out. Caption:]
:A guide to
:<big>understanding flow charts</big>
:presented in flow chart form.

:Box 0: Start
::[Arrow to Box 1.]
:Box 1: Do you understand flow charts?
::[Arrow to Box 2.] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 4.] No
:Box 2: Good
::[Arrow to Box 3.] Yes
:Box 3: Let's go drink.
::[Arrow to Final Box.] 6 Drinks
:Box 4: Okay. You see the line labeled "Yes"?
::[Arrow to Box 6.] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 5.] No
:Box 5: But you see the ones labeled "No".
::[Arrow to End-Box 1.] Yes
::[Arrow to End-Box 2a.] No
:End-Box 1: Wait, what?
::[No Arrows.]
:End-Box 2a: Listen.
::[Arrow to End-Box 2b.]
:End-Box 2b: I hate you.
::[No Arrows.]
:Box 6: ...and you can see the ones labeled "No"?
::[Arrow to Box 2.] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 7.] No
:Box 7: But you just followed them twice!
::[Arrow to Box 8a.] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 8a.] No
:Box 8a: (That wasn't a question.)
::[Arrow to Box 8b.]
:Box 8b: Screw it.
::[Arrow to Box 3.]
:Final Box: Hey I should try installing FreeBSD!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics sharing name|Flowcharts01]]
[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:BSD]]

518: Flow Charts

2021-12-08T21:39:21Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 518
| date = December 17, 2008
| title = Flow Charts
| image = flow_charts.png
| titletext = At 8 drinks, you switch the torrent from FreeBSD to Microsoft Bob. C'mon, it'll be fun!
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Flowchart|Flowcharts}} are diagrams that represent processes in a graphical form. While predominantly used in {{w|computer programming}} to visualize the structure of source code, flowcharts can in theory be used to depict any real or virtual procedure. In this comic, this idea is subverted by employing a flowchart to explain how flowcharts work. Flowcharts are a recurring theme on xkcd, and a list of flowchart comics can be found [[:Category:Flowcharts|here]].

This seems like a faulty basis for explaining anything, but the basic functionality of flowcharts is quite intuitive, and the attempted self-description is almost unnecessary. In fact, the comic does not actually explain how to use the flowchart: it just uses an example of a very simple flowchart to demonstrate to the reader that they can easily work out how to follow it. If the reader attempts to "game" the system by either giving contradictory answers, or refusing to acknowledge that they can see the "Yes" and "No" labels, the flowchart gets confused or becomes abusive. <strike>Just like a real computer.</strike>

If you confirm or demonstrate that you can follow the flowchart, it inevitably leads to the "Let's go drink" box, which gives rise to the assumption that the whole chart was only a pretence for drinking.

{{w|FreeBSD}} is a {{w|unixoid}} operating system for computers that is generally considered to require advanced skills. The question whether {{w|Linux}} or (Free)BSD is the preferable operating system is a question of almost religious belief to some. The comic takes a shot against FreeBSD by implying that one would only decide to install it when under the influence of alcohol. This may also be a reference to [[349: Success]].

The title text mentions {{w|Microsoft Bob}}, a software package published in 1995 by {{w|Microsoft}}. The product was targeted towards beginners, and Microsoft decided to use a cartoon-style interface instead of a more 'professional' environment. It was a commercial failure, and still serves as an inside joke among IT professionals.

[[Randall]] has made use of [[:Category:Flowcharts|flowcharts]] before, and later he released another comic name [[1195: Flowchart]].

==Transcript==
:[A flow chart is shown beneath a caption. There are 14 boxes five diamond shaped and the rest rectangular. From all the diamond boxes there are one arrow entering and two arrows leaving (with yes/no labels on them). One of the other boxes is the start with only one arrow leaving, and three of these boxes are endings with only one arrow entering. Three has two arrows entering and one leaving. And two have one in and one out. Caption:]
:A guide to
:<big>understanding flow charts</big>
:presented in flow chart form.

:Box 0: Start
::[Arrow to Box 1.]
:Box 1: Do you understand flow charts?
::[Arrow to Box 2.] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 4.] No
:Box 2: Good
::[Arrow to Box 3.] Yes
:Box 3: Let's go drink.
::[Arrow to Final Box.] 6 Drinks
:Box 4: Okay. You see the line labeled "Yes"?
::[Arrow to Box 6.] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 5.] No
:Box 5: But you see the ones labeled "No".
::[Arrow to End-Box 1.] Yes
::[Arrow to End-Box 2a.] No
:End-Box 1: Wait, what?
::[No Arrows.]
:End-Box 2a: Listen.
::[Arrow to End-Box 2b.]
:End-Box 2b: I hate you.
::[No Arrows.]
:Box 6: ...and you can see the ones labeled "No"?
::[Arrow to Box 2.] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 7.] No
:Box 7: But you just followed them twice!
::[Arrow to Box 8a.] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 8a.] No
:Box 8a: (That wasn't a question.)
::[Arrow to Box 8b.]
:Box 8b: Screw it.
::[Arrow to Box 3.]
:Final Box: Hey I should try installing FreeBSD!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics sharing name|Flowcharts01]]
[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:BSD]]

517: Marshmallow Gun

2021-12-08T21:33:22Z

Alcazar84: How do you cite that something is good to eat? Also, crossing the streams helped *destroy* the SPMM, not create him.

{{comic
| number = 517
| date = December 15, 2008
| title = Marshmallow Gun
| image = marshmallow_gun.png
| titletext = Except in reality crossing a stream of marshmallows would create a giant Bill Murray.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has obtained a gun that shoots {{w|marshmallows}} and promptly decides to shoot at [[Megan]]. Having taken the first few hits without much reaction, she sighs and then brings out the super soaker, which was first used on her in [[220: Philosophy]] (and later reappears in [[2334: Slide Trombone]]), and soaks him with it.

The next day, everyone has such guns and starts shooting marshmallows at each other. We see [[Beret Guy]] and Megan who confront Cueball, saying ''Hey, {{w|noob}}! Eat {{w|Stay Puft Marshmallow Man|Stay-Puft®}}!'' This is like saying ''eat lead'' when threatening someone with a regular gun, since Stay Puft is a fictional brand of marshmallows from the ''{{w|Ghostbusters}}'' movie. (Of course, it's also a reasonable thing to say, since marshmallows are good to eat.) These statements and many like them appear in many first-person shooter games with chat.

Beret Guy realizes that the "streams" of marshmallows are about to cross, he and shouts a warning, but it is too late and they cross anyway. This results in something gigantic appearing with a <big>'''Foom'''</big> Roaaar! off-screen. It roars at the three friends. Megan looks up and states that ''this is bad'' as the giant shouts ''You're shooting what?'' Presumably the crossing marshmallow beams have recreated the {{w|Stay Puft Marshmallow Man}} from ''Ghostbusters''. In the movie, crossing the ghost-capturing streams from the {{w|Proton packs|proton packs}} was "{{w|Proton pack#Crossing the streams|bad}}." But in the end, in which an ancient spirit took the form of this giant Marshmallow Man, the monster was destroyed as a side effect of crossing the streams. The Stay-Puft man sees what they are shooting and is justifiably upset.

The title text is a further ''Ghostbusters'' reference, as {{w|Bill Murray}} was one of the actors in the movie. Since the crossing of the streams of the proton packs by Bill Murray and the other Ghostbusters is related to the destruction of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in the movie, the crossing of the marshmallow streams in the comic does the opposite and summons an enormous Bill Murray.

==Transcript==
:[A box above the first frame:]
:I got this gun that shoots marshmallows.
:[Cueball removes the red marshmallow gun from a box.]

:[Cueball shoots at Megan with marshmallow gun from offscreen.]
:Pop pop pop
:Whap whap whap

:[Megan facepalms.]
:Pop
:Megan: Sigh.

:[Megan removes a super soaker from desk drawer.]
:Pop pop

:[Megan shoots Cueball (offscreen) with the super soaker.]
:Cueball (offscreen): Augh!
:''Fwoosh''
:Cueball (offscreen): Man, I forgot that was there.

:[A box above the first frame of the second part of the comic:]
:The next day, everyone else got them too.
:[Megan and Beret Guy brandish marshmallow guns.]
:Megan: Hey, noob! Eat Stay-Puft®!

:[Megan shoots a marshmallow gun.]
:Pop pop pop

:[Cueball shoots a marshmallow gun.]
:Poppop pop

:[Megan and Cueball shoot marshmallows into the air, crossing the streams.]
:Beret Guy (offscreen): No! Don't cross the—

:[Between the last two frames is a wide gap with the following text:]
:'''Foom'''
:Giant monster (offscreen): Roaaar!

:[Megan, Cueball, and Beret Guy are all standing with weapons pointed at the ground looking up.]
:Megan: Okay, this is bad.
:Giant monster (offscreen): '''You're shooting what?'''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]

515: No One Must Know

2021-12-08T21:23:20Z

Alcazar84: /* Trivia */

{{comic
| number = 515
| date = December 10, 2008
| title = No One Must Know
| image = no_one_must_know.png
| titletext = Or perhaps they knew he was there, and were just trying to torment him first.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Black Hat]] and [[Danish]] are more known for their {{w|Psychopathy#Sociopathy|sociopathy}} than their affection. In the first panel, they are affectionate towards each other, holding hands and using terms of endearment by calling each other cake names, i.e. {{w|danish pastry}} and {{w|pie}}. The entrance of [[Cueball]], and his observation of this state, leads Black Hat and Danish to kill him and bury the evidence, so that no one knows that side of them, but [[433: Journal 5]] states that they are, in fact, in a relationship.

The title text provides the alternative hypothesis that they were planning on killing him the whole time and were intentionally acting affectionate for the mental effect it would have on their victim.

[[542: Cover-Up]] provides a possible continuation of this story.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat and Danish are talking and holding hands.]
:Black hat: You're my dearest darling danish.
:Danish: And you're my lovely cutie pie.
:Black hat: Well, you're-
:[Cueball enters.]
:[Black Hat and Danish look at each other and let go of each others hands.]
:[Black Hat holds a bloody sack, while Danish pushes down on a shovel to make a hole for what is presumably Cueball's body.]

==Trivia==
*This comic inspired the use of "Danish" to refer to [[Black Hat]]'s girlfriend on this wiki.
**It is obviously not her real name, as it was just a cake-related term of endearment. But at least one person thinks it is better than the name used before this comic.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics with blood]]

514: Simultaneous

2021-12-08T21:21:08Z

Alcazar84: Citation not needed - it is a physically impossible situation

{{comic
| number = 514
| date = December 8, 2008
| title = Simultaneous
| image = simultaneous.png
| titletext = I'm leaving you for your twin. He's more mature than you by now.
}}

==Explanation==
''This comic links to {{w|Relativity_of_simultaneity|en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relativity_of_simultaneity}}.''

[[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] are talking about the sex they just had. Cueball is remarking on how they both achieved orgasm simultaneously, but Megan disagrees.

This comic is a play on Einstein's {{w|Special relativity#Relativity of simultaneity|theory of special relativity}}. One piece of the theory deals with two observers who are moving at close to the speed of light relative to each other. According to Einstein, events that appear simultaneous to one observer will appear to happen at different times to the other.

So when one partner is moving and the other isn't, it's possible that they experience their orgasm at different times relative to each other. That would require one partner to be moving really fast in one direction, which would make them a really bad partner. On small speeds, this effect could not be measured.

The other joke is that partners often disagree with each other — even when the difference is minor and not important to the matter.

The title text is reference to the twin paradox, which arises from another piece of special relativity. In theory, if you stick one twin on a spaceship at near light speed and keep the other back on Earth, and assuming neither accelerates, each will perceive himself to age slowly while the other ages quickly, forming an apparent paradox. Megan expresses a preference for Cueball's older twin, who will be more "mature," meaning both older and presumably less combative about simultaneity. Again, the joke here is that at relativistic speeds, there could be disagreement about which twin is truly the "older" one.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are in bed.]
:Cueball: Mmm, simultaneous orgasms.
:Megan: That wasn't simultaneous.
:Cueball: Huh? It totally was!
:[Caption below the panel:]
:A common disagreement when one of you is doing all the moving.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

513: Friends

2021-11-24T15:39:35Z

Alcazar84: "girl" is Megan

{{comic
| number = 513
| date = December 5, 2008
| title = Friends
| image = friends.png
| titletext = Friends with detriments.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is talking to [[Megan]]. He confesses that he has a crush on her. Usually the next step in Western cultures, when someone likes someone else, is to ask the other person out (in other cultures, such as Islamic or Indian cultures, it would be more appropriate to request that one's parents contact the parents of the person one has a crush on). But Cueball takes a different route, and in the comic, he explains his thought process. Presumably he actually explains this to Megan.

He explains that he is afraid of rejection, and so instead of asking her out directly, promises to be her "best friend" and someone who is always "there for you," in the hopes that this will eventually lead to Megan developing an attraction for him. This way, Cueball does not have to risk Megan saying 'No' to him, as she will be led to make the first move instead. Cueball is aware that this may not be an ideal situation for Megan, conceding that she may end up changing her definition of happiness to make her feel more comfortable in the relationship, while she is conscious of the fact that she doesn't really love Cueball. Cueball recognizes that if Megan fell for him this way, she would probably have this fact at the back of her mind forever.

And so, after painting this elaborate - but troubling - future, Cueball asks ''sound good''? Megan, however, is not won over by Cueball's plan, and she tells him that she is going to date "this ''jerk''", poking fun at him saying 'I will tear down the jerks you date'. (Although she could have said any name here -- to Cueball it will always sound like ''jerk''!) This suggests that she would much rather date someone else rather than date Cueball whom she -- as he correctly implies -- does not love.

Cueball declares that the other suitor ''doesn't respect you'', an absurdly hypocritical comment given his manipulative plan. He explained earlier that he would ''tear down the jerks you date''; this last line could also be him actually executing on the plan he just detailed.

The title text is a play on the concept of ''friends with benefits'', wherein two friends have casual sex without entering a committed relationship. ''Friends with detriments'' suggests that having Cueball as her "friend" damages Megan's chances of getting a relationship (and sex) with anyone else, since Cueball will tear any candidate down. Also, despite Cueball claiming to be Megan's friend (and appearing to value this friendship), his plans are rather selfish and manipulative, making him a "friend" who is in fact detrimental.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is talking to Megan.]
:Cueball: I have a crush on you.

:[Cueball is shown alone.]
:Cueball: I could ask you out, and move on with my life if you said no.

:Cueball: Or, WE COULD BE FRIENDS!

:Cueball: See, I don't want to consider that you might not be attracted to me. I'm scared of rejection, so I've decided relationships should grow smoothly out of friendships.

:[Megan is shown sitting at her computer.]
:Cueball: When you have problems, I'll be there for you, night after night.
:Cueball: Selflessly.
:Computer (Instant message from boy): *hug*

:[Megan is shown slamming a door and walking to Cueball to get a hug.]
:Cueball: I'll tear down the jerks you date, and wait for you to realize how good I am for you. That only I will ever understand you.
:''SLAM''
:Megan: ''Sniff''
:Cueball: There there

:[Cueball is shown alone again.]
:Cueball: You don't want to hurt my feelings, and I won't ever force the issue. I'll tell myself it's because I "Value our friendship."

:Cueball: Bit by bit, I'll make you depend on me.

:[Cueball and Megan are shown sitting on a rock in a park, reading a book together.]
:Cueball: You'll think about how long it would take to build this kind of connection again.

:[Cueball and Megan are shown sitting on a couch drinking, getting closer, and kissing.]
:Cueball: And in a moment of weakness
:Cueball: and loneliness
:Cueball: you'll give in.

:[Megan is shown sitting at the computer with Cueball behind her facing the other way washing dishes.]
:Cueball: It'll feel comfortable and natural. You'll quietly revise your definition of love and try to be happy. And sometimes you will be.

:[Megan is shown sitting at the computer.]
:Cueball: Only the wistfulness in your gaze and the tiny pause before you say "I love you" will hint that this wasn't the ending you'd hoped for.
:Cueball: Sound good?

:[Megan is holding hands with another boy, talking to Cueball.]
:Megan: ...I'm going to date this jerk.
:Cueball: But he doesn't respect you!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]

513: Friends

2021-11-24T15:38:05Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 513
| date = December 5, 2008
| title = Friends
| image = friends.png
| titletext = Friends with detriments.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is talking to [[Megan]]. He confesses that he has a crush on her. Usually the next step in Western cultures, when someone likes someone else, is to ask the other person out (in other cultures, such as Islamic or Indian cultures, it would be more appropriate to request that one's parents contact the parents of the person one has a crush on). But Cueball takes a different route, and in the comic, he explains his thought process. Presumably he actually explains this to Megan.

He explains that he is afraid of rejection, and so instead of asking her out directly, promises to be her "best friend" and someone who is always "there for you," in the hopes that this will eventually lead to Megan developing an attraction for him. This way, Cueball does not have to risk Megan saying 'No' to him, as she will be led to make the first move instead. Cueball is aware that this may not be an ideal situation for Megan, conceding that she may end up changing her definition of happiness to make her feel more comfortable in the relationship, while she is conscious of the fact that she doesn't really love Cueball. Cueball recognizes that if Megan fell for him this way, she would probably have this fact at the back of her mind forever.

And so, after painting this elaborate - but troubling - future, Cueball asks ''sound good''? Megan, however, is not won over by Cueball's plan, and she tells him that she is going to date "this ''jerk''", poking fun at him saying 'I will tear down the jerks you date'. (Although she could have said any name here -- to Cueball it will always sound like ''jerk''!) This suggests that she would much rather date someone else rather than date Cueball whom she -- as he correctly implies -- does not love.

Cueball declares that the other suitor ''doesn't respect you'', an absurdly hypocritical comment given his manipulative plan. He explained earlier that he would ''tear down the jerks you date''; this last line could also be him actually executing on the plan he just detailed.

The title text is a play on the concept of ''friends with benefits'', wherein two friends have casual sex without entering a committed relationship. ''Friends with detriments'' suggests that having Cueball as her "friend" damages Megan's chances of getting a relationship (and sex) with anyone else, since Cueball will tear any candidate down. Also, despite Cueball claiming to be Megan's friend (and appearing to value this friendship), his plans are rather selfish and manipulative, making him a "friend" who is in fact detrimental.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is talking to a girl.]
:Cueball: I have a crush on you.

:[Cueball is shown alone.]
:Cueball: I could ask you out, and move on with my life if you said no.

:Cueball: Or, WE COULD BE FRIENDS!

:Cueball: See, I don't want to consider that you might not be attracted to me. I'm scared of rejection, so I've decided relationships should grow smoothly out of friendships.

:[Megan is shown sitting at her computer.]
:Cueball: When you have problems, I'll be there for you, night after night.
:Cueball: Selflessly.
:Computer (Instant message from boy): *hug*

:[Megan is shown slamming door and walking to Cueball to get a hug.]
:Cueball: I'll tear down the jerks you date, and wait for you to realize how good I am for you. That only I will ever understand you.
:''SLAM''
:Megan: ''Sniff''
:Cueball: There there

:[Cueball is shown alone again.]
:Cueball: You don't want to hurt my feelings, and I won't ever force the issue. I'll tell myself it's because I "Value our friendship."

:Cueball: Bit by bit, I'll make you depend on me.

:[Cueball and girl are shown sitting on a rock in a park, reading a book together.]
:Cueball: You'll think about how long it would take to build this kind of connection again.

:[Cueball and girl are shown sitting on a couch drinking, getting closer, and kissing.]
:Cueball: And in a moment of weakness
:Cueball: and loneliness
:Cueball: you'll give in.

:[Megan is shown sitting at the computer with Cueball behind her facing the other way washing dishes.]
:Cueball: It'll feel comfortable and natural. You'll quietly revise your definition of love and try to be happy. And sometimes you will be.

:[Megan is shown sitting at the computer.]
:Cueball: Only the wistfulness in your gaze and the tiny pause before you say "I love you" will hint that this wasn't the ending you'd hoped for.
:Cueball: Sound good?

:[Megan is holding hands with another boy, talking to Cueball.]
:Megan: ...I'm going to date this jerk.
:Cueball: But he doesn't respect you!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]

512: Alternate Currency

2021-11-24T15:08:36Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 512
| date = December 3, 2008
| title = Alternate Currency
| image = alternate_currency.png
| titletext = For the first time ever, the phrase 'I'd like to thank everyone at 4chan for making me successful and happy' is uttered.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is shown watching television, where it is announced that the US dollar has collapsed and been replaced by an 'alternative currency' of humorous pictures commonly shared on the internet (an {{w|Internet Meme}}). Such a currency would be utterly useless; for untraceable and easily counterfeited .gif and .jpeg files to become more monetarily stable than the US dollar would mean that the economy is ''all kinds of screwed'', to the point of utter absurdity.

The title text pokes fun at users of [http://www.4chan.org 4Chan] who are notoriously known for their habit of hoarding image macros, a practice he suggests is almost useless except in the instance jokingly suggested by the comic. 4Chan is also reputable for ''reducing'' the Happiness and Success of many people their community targets anonymously. Randall also pokes fun at himself in saying, "I have been preparing for this moment my whole life," indirectly implying he is also guilty of this practice.

The "rare pepe" meme that has recently sprouted on 4chan implies that some photoshopped pictures of Pepe the frog are valuable and that they could be sold. 120 Rare pepe's reached a price of $99,166 on eBay before being removed [https://imgur.com/dMFTQK9 as seen here.]

With the rise of cryptocurrency and NFTs, this absurdist comic is becoming indistinguishable from reality.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing in front of a televion]
:Television: With the collapse of the dollar, the government has endorsed an alternate currency. Your monetary worth is now determined by the number of funny pictures saved to your hard drive.
:[Caption below the panel:]
:I have been preparing for this moment my whole life.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Money]]

511: Sleet

2021-11-24T15:04:02Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 511
| date = December 1, 2008
| title = Sleet
| image = sleet.png
| titletext = I mean, I can barely hear myself complaining about Battlestar Galactica.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] is seen leaving an apartment, trudging through freezing temperatures and {{w|Sleet|foul weather}}, when she could be in a warm, cozy bed. The dialog is likely her thoughts, rather than speech. She is fed up with the second person's endless discussion of {{w|digital rights management}} (DRM). She probably agrees with his position, but would rather face the weather than his endless rehashing of the issue.

The words in the first panel are the opening lyrics of the Christmas standard, {{w|Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!}}.

In the last panel, ''{{w|Free Culture (book)|Free Culture}}'' refers to a book by {{w|Lawrence Lessig}}, who advocates for fewer restrictions in many areas. Randall had previously advocated this title himself in [[86: Digital Rights Management]] and [[129: Content Protection]], and mentioned Lessig in [[343: 1337: Part 3]].

In the title text, it is revealed that Megan herself is also guilty of droning on about 'boring' subjects, likely to the annoyance of those around her. In this case, complaining about science-fiction TV series ''{{w|Battlestar Galactica}}'', which tends to produce strong reactions among {{w|Geek|geeks}}. She has gone outside to avoid the boring rant. However, given the opportunity, it is she who would be doing the ranting.

==Transcript==
:[The comic is set on a rainy, cold, windy street; Megan is walking along said street with a scarf; narration is from Megan's point-of-view.]
:The weather outside is frightful.
:I hate trudging through the icy slush and biting sleet.
:But it beats lying in our warm, cozy bed
:Listening to you talk about DRM for hours on end.
:Offscreen: Come back! Just listen to this one quote from ''Free Culture!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Weather]]

509: Induced Current

2021-11-24T14:55:57Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 509
| date = November 26, 2008
| title = Induced Current
| image = induced current.png
| titletext = The MythBusters need to tackle whether a black hole from the LHC could REALLY destroy the world.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is exaggerating the effects of the physics stated. Solar flares eject, among other things, ions, electrons, and radiation. The charged particles reach Earth after a day or two, and in history has knocked the power out in some areas during a large flare. They can marginally affect the magnetic field of the Earth, or dent it, as [[Cueball]] says. A voltage occurs in a conductor (the wire) when subjected to a changing magnetic field. However, this change is small and influences only very long conductors, such as telephone lines.

Interestingly, phenomena as described by Cueball have occurred several times in recorded history, with effects quite nearly like those described, most notably the Carrington event of 1859. In 1859, a {{w|Solar storm of 1859|solar storm}} produced a series of powerful geomagnetic storms across the world, and many telegraph operators reported electrical phenomena (electric shock from the apparatus, messages sent and received despite disconnect from power sources, and pylons carrying telegraph lines sparking and arcing with current) all across North America. For this to occur in shorter conductors, (e.g., Beret guy's extension cord,) a solar storm would have to be so destructively large as to pose far more danger than just fires. The chances of such a solar event occurring again are not prohibitively small, though quite infrequent, and the last one, of comparative size and strength, was recorded in {{w|Solar storm of 2012|2012}}.

''{{w|Mythbusters}}'' is a show that tests urban legends or myths that viewers submit. They have a classic style of scaling up myths to comical sizes. By starting the myth that a fire would be formed from the large voltage across the wire induced by the Earth's magnetic field, Cueball hopes to see it tested on ''Mythbusters'', and perhaps then scaled up to astronomical proportions. This comic may also reference how ''Mythbusters'' was running out of urban legends to test, and has resorted to testing the feasibility of viral videos, movie scenes, proverbs, and the like, plus occasionally making up urban legends.

The title text refers to the {{w|Large Hadron Collider|Large Hadron Collider (LHC)}}, the most powerful particle collider in the world and the fear of some people of the production of stable {{w|Micro black hole|microscopic black holes}} destroying the Earth. Of course, testing something like this would be outside the scope of a show like ''MythBusters''. Additionally, if the myth was confirmed, the planet would be destroyed, and nobody would like the ''MythBusters'' anymore. However, that wouldn't be much of a problem, seeing that there would be no one around to like anything.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy, extension cord in hand, approaches Cueball as he works at his computer.]
:Beret Guy: Can I plug my extension cord over here?
:Cueball: No.
:Beret Guy: Why?
:Cueball: Solar Flares.
:[A diagram is displayed, illustrating the Earth's magnetic field being permanently impacted by a large solar flare (represented by a large arrow).]
:[A second diagram is presented, illustrating the Earth's rotation and the resulting impact that the solar flare would have on the earth's magnetic field.]
:Cueball: A large solar flare could dent the Earth's magnetic field inwards. The Earth's spin could then induce a strong current in any long conductors, melting them and starting fires. By extending your cord, you could kill us all.
:[Stunned, Beret Guy looks down at the cord he carries.]
:Beret Guy: Really?
:Cueball: Warn your friends.
:[Dejected, Beret Guy walks away, cord in tow.]
:[Cueball looks up from his computer as he is braced by Megan, a stern look in her face.]
:Megan: That was mean.
:Cueball: Listen, ''somebody'' has to keep Mythbusters in business. Next season should be fun.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Physics]]

508: Drapes

2021-11-04T03:44:50Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 508
| date = November 24, 2008
| title = Drapes
| image = drapes.png
| titletext = Wait, what?
}}

==Explanation==
This comic plays on the classic question "does the carpet match the drapes," where the 'drapes' are the hair on someone's head, and the 'carpet' is their pubic hair. The assumption is that some people artificially dye their head hair, but typically would not dye other body hair, essentially asking "Are you a 'natural' red-head/blonde/etc.?" The classic question doesn't mention upholstery, hence [[Cueball]]'s confusion. There is some speculation about other body/arm/leg/arm-pit hair interpretations for [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=upholstery upholstery].

This comic could also be a [[917|self-referential joke]] where the furniture is a double entendre to the art of the comic itself. The "carpet" is the white background of the comic, which matches the black "drapes" of Cueball, the woman, and the words. The "upholstery," in this case, is the woman's hair, which is colored and heavily bordered to create a 3D effect, which does not at all match the rest of this comic. The fact that Cueball seems confused (as per the last panel and title text) suggests that the {{w|fourth wall}} may have been broken.

Alternatively, it could be that the woman is wearing a {{w|wig}}, and the "upholstery" is her natural hair or something similar.

Or the woman is talking literally about her home's decoration.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: So, does the carpet match the drapes?

:Woman: Yeah. But not the upholstery.

:[Woman walks away.]

:[Cueball scratches his head, confused.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Language]]

507: Experimentation

2021-11-04T03:42:47Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 507
| date = November 21, 2008
| title = Experimentation
| image = experimentation.png
| titletext = I understand large sample sizes are key to a low standard error of the mean, but the entire sophomore class?
}}

==Explanation==
College (undergraduate university, for international readers) is often a young adult's first experience with independent living. As a result, it is a time to "find yourself," so the {{Wiktionary|aphorism}} goes. This often includes a certain amount of sexual experimentation, including same-sex experimentation.

This comic applies a scientific interpretation to a colloquial expression (a favorite on [[xkcd]]). Usually, "lesbian experimentation" refers to a woman engaging in one-night stands with other women to satisfy her curiosity about the experience and discover her own sexual orientation. [[Megan]], however, does the "experimenting" according to the {{w|scientific method}}: hypothesize, experiment, draw conclusions, repeat. She formulates a hypothesis about her sexual orientation (apparently something along the lines of "I am a lesbian"), which she proceeds to test by experiments (sexual encounters) with female partners as the experimental group and male partners as the {{w|Treatment and control groups|control group}}. She used large sample groups and multiple experiments (the reference to "control group B" implies at least two separate experiments). The title text implies that Megan "experimented" with the entire sophomore class (both males and females) before dating [[Cueball]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are holding hands, and Megan is pointing off to the side.]
:Megan: Oh, hey, it's twelve of the dudes from control group B!

:[Caption below the panel]:
:I'm cool with her past lesbian experimentation, but I wish she hadn't insisted the experiments be scientifically rigorous.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Homosexuality]]

505: A Bunch of Rocks

2021-09-28T21:32:03Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 505
| date = November 17, 2008
| title = A Bunch of Rocks
| image = a_bunch_of_rocks.png
| titletext = I call Rule 34 on Wolfram's Rule 34.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] awakens to find himself trapped for eternity in an endless expanse of sand and rocks. At first, he uses this time to derive all of mathematics and physics, plus more, including {{w|quantum mechanics}} and {{w|general relativity}}. Next Cueball creates a computer that can process any possible function, out of rocks and rules for the interaction between rocks. He then simulates a particle followed by the interactions between particles, followed by the entire universe. The amount of time it takes to simulate the change in the universe merely from one instant to the next takes an extremely long time, as the time it takes to update just one row of rocks would be eons, assuming a realistic time to place each rock.

Cueball is using the rocks to build a {{w|cellular automaton}}, a computational model based on simple rules to advance from one state to the next. Certain cellular automata are {{w|Turing-complete}}, which means that they can be used to represent any conceivable algorithm if expanded infinitely, including simulating the physics of the universe. He specifically seems to be running Wolfram's {{w|Rule 110}}, which is capable of universal computation. When using Rule 110 for universal computation, one builds a background pattern, which can be seen in the comic as the pattern of smaller triangles, and then performs computation by sending out "rockets" to collide and interact with each other. Cueball can simulate the functioning of an entire universe because he has unlimited time and space (and rocks).

Cueball then apologizes for any flaws we see in the simulation. This implies that the audience is living in Cueball's simulation, making Cueball essentially God, and that he might make mistakes along the way.

The final frame cuts to a classroom where a bored student stares at his hands waiting for class to end. Cueball admonishes the student for thinking that class is lasting forever, the joke being that the boredom felt in a classroom is nothing compared to the boredom that inspires Cueball to spend his endless time toiling to keep the universe moving. Indeed, the minutes of lecture actually took many "billions and billions of millennia" for Cueball to simulate. Another possible explanation is that the entirety of this comic is a fantasy in Cueball’s mind as he zones out during a math lecture.

The title text suggests that {{w|Rule 34 (Internet meme)|Rule 34}} should be called on {{w|Elementary cellular automaton#Random initial state|Wolfram's Rule 34}}. Rule 34 (see [[305: Rule 34]]) is a humorous rule of the Internet that states, "If you can imagine it, there is porn of it. No exceptions." Wolfram's Rule 34 is a cellular automaton. Therefore, the title text says that either someone has made pornography featuring the cellular automaton in question, or someone has used the cellular automaton to produce pornography.

===Graphs===
The three diagrams in the "Physics, too. I worked out the kinks..." panel are, from left to right:
# The {{w|Normal distribution}} of the {{w|Gaussian curve}} marking the points that represent a standard deviation of σ and 2σ. This is one of the fundamental building blocks of statistics. In quantum mechanics, particles are viewed as inherently random, therefore the time at which a particle will decay, the position of a particle, and its velocity are all calculated using similar curves. A deviation of at least σ occurs 32% of the time, while a deviation of 2σ or more occurs about 5% of the time.
# The {{w|Inclined plane#History|Epitaph of Stevinus}}, an explanation of the mechanical advantage of using an {{w|inclined plane}}. The inclined plane is one of the six classical {{w|simple machine}}s, one of the fundamental building blocks of mechanical and civil engineering.
# The last graph is unknown. It may represent coupled pendulums, {{w|length contraction}}, or a hypothetical solution to something we haven't derived yet.

The graph that represents particle interaction is a {{w|Feynman Diagram}}. This shows the interaction of subatomic particles that collide and exchange some momentum via a photon. The slope of the middle line represents the distance moved and the time lost/gained during the interaction.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing in a desert with lots of rocks lying around. He is narrating his own situation. The first panel spans the entire width of the comic. The first line of text is written to the left of him, the second line to the right.]
:So I'm stuck in this desert for eternity.
:I don't know why. I just woke up here one day.

:[The next four panels take up the second line of the comic.]
:[Cueball stand in the desert.]
:I never feel hungry or thirsty.

:[Cueball walks in the desert.]
:I just walk.

:[Zooming out while Cueball continues to walk in the desert.]
:Sand and rocks

:[Zooming far out as Cueball again just stands in the desert. First line of text, above him, is a continuation of the text in the previous panel. The second line is below him.]
:stretch to infinity.
:As best as I can tell.

:[The next three panels take up the third line of the comic. The last takes up half the width.]
:[Cueball is sitting in the desert, in a contemplative position. First line of text above him, the second below.]
:There's plenty of time for thinking out here.
:An eternity really.

:[Cueball is sketching stuff in the sand. First line of text above him, the second below.]
:I've rederived modern math in the sand
:and then some.

:[Three different graph types are depicted. First line of text above them, the second below.]
:Physics too. I worked out the kinks in quantum mechanics and relativity.
:Took a lot of thinking, but this place has fewer distractions than a Swiss patent office.

:[The next eight panels take up the fourth and fifth lines of the comic. All pictures are the same size.]
:[Cueball is walking along the desert, laying out rocks on a line. Four have been deployed. He is laying down the fifth and has a sixth in his other hand.]
:One day I started laying down rows of rocks.

:[Cueball, with a rock in his hand, continues to deploy rock 16, in a more intricate pattern. There are grid-lines in the sand (5 rows, 6 columns), with each intersection either empty of filled with a rock. No rocks lay anywhere but at an intersection on the grid.]
:Each new row followed from the last in a simple pattern.

:[Zooming out showing even more laid out rocks. Cueball is seen directly from above, and we see his shadow falling on the grid of rocks (7 rows, 14 columns).]
:With the right set of rules and enough space,

:[Continues to zoom further out showing clear triangular patterns (with no rocks) in the laid out grid of rocks. Cueball is not seen. (8 rows, 42 columns). First line of text above the grid, the second line below.]
:I was able to build a computer.
:Each new row of stones is the next iteration of the computation.

:[Zooming far out (no Cueball) with rows intersected by five clear V lines on top of them. The V's are drawn inside each other, with the smallest V at the top right, and the other V's starting just to the right of the previous one, and then continuing the same distance past the previous V, as the total length of the first V. The "*" in the first line of text above this grid references to the footnote below written in a smaller font.]
:Sure it's rocks instead of electricity, but it's the same* thing. Just slower.
:<nowiki>*Turing-complete</nowiki>

:[Cueball stands in a contemplative pose (on a clean white background - i.e. no dessert).]
:After a while, I programmed it to be a physics simulator.

:[A black panel with white drawings and text. A small white dot (a particle) is labeled by two arrows coming of two binary strings.]
:Every piece of information about a particle was encoded as a string of bits written in the stones.
:00101010
:00101010

:[A Feynman diagram showing two particles interacting. Two arrows going in and out with a snaking line between them.]
:With enough time and space, I could fully simulate two particles interacting.

:[The next two panels take up the sixth line of the comic. The second panel takes up three-quarters of the width.]
:[Cueball standing before the vastness of the desert, with his programmed lines of rock stretching to infinity.]
:But I have infinite time and space.

:[A black panel with white drawings and text. Depiction of two large galaxies, one with four jets coming out of its center, the other a flat disc. Several smaller galaxies and/or stars are shown around them.]
:So I decided to simulate a universe.

:[The next four panels take up the seventh line of the comic. They are of similar widths.]
:[Cueball is walking by his grid of rocks, lines indicate he has just thrown another rock down in its place. It falls so hard it sinks into the sand that splashes out around it. The 14 rocks above him lie on the grid, four others below this grid have not been used yet.]
:The eons blur past as I walk down a single row.

:[Zoom far far out to show multiple rows of rocks. It is not very clear that there are several triangular patterns (with no rocks) in different sizes in the laid out grid of rocks. There are about 50 rows and 90 columns. There are six large triangles on top of each other at the left edge. To the right, there are three even larger triangles from top to bottom, the one in the middle further to the left than the one above, but further right than the bottom one.]
:The rows blur past to compute a single step.

:[Shows the placement of two particles in the simulation.]
:And in the simulation...

:[The two particles have moved just long enough as to not overlap with their previous positions, shown as an after-image with faint gray lines. The text continues directly the one from the previous panel.]
:another instant ticks by.

:[The next two panels take up the eighth line of the comic. They each take up half the width.]
:[A Cueball-like person (you) observes a mote of dust vanish.]
:So if you see a mote of dust vanish from your vision in a little flash or something

:[Cueball is standing between two rocks on the ground, while holding two rocks, one lifted up to his head. The first line of text is above him. It is a direct continuation of the text in the previous panel. The second line stands below to the right of him.]
:I'm sorry. I must have misplaced a rock
:sometime in the last few billions and billions of millennia.

:[Cueball stands in the "clean" part of his infinite desert, in front of the vastness of his infinity of infinite lines or rocks.]
:Oh and...

:[A Cueball-like student sits in a classroom with his head in his hands, Megan sits behind him, and a teacher points to the blackboard. A clock shows the time at five minutes to ten.]
:If you think the minutes in your morning lecture are taking a long time to pass for ''you''...

==Trivia==
*This comic is available as a signed print in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/signed-prints xkcd store].
*The Swiss patent office line refers to {{w|Albert Einstein}}, who was employed as a Swiss patent clerk while coming up with his theory of special relativity. This joke is also referenced in [[1067|1067: Pressures]]. Also, there is a standing joke that very few important inventions have come from Switzerland, since the country hadn't been involved in the world wars, and thus has not been part of the weapons race, nor was it a driving force in the preceding Industrial Revolution.
*In the center of the comic, the binary numbers pointing to the particle are both 42. This is a reference to the comedic answer to the ''Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything'' from the ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' series.
*Cueball mentions that if we see an artifact flutter in and out of reality, he must have made a mistake in the last "billions and billions of millennia." This implies that the small period of time the artifact is present in his time is much longer than our universe has existed. That is a ''very'' long time. However, because it was a really long time, the difference could be [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect more than just a small mote of dust disappearing].
*The line "I've rederived modern math in the sand and then some," is possibly referring to "Surreal Numbers: How two ex-students turned on to pure mathematics and found total happiness" by Donald Knuth. The {{w|Surreal number}}s are a system of numbers that includes the familiar real numbers, but are infinitely more dense. Knuth wrote a novelette about a young couple who finds themselves stranded on a deserted island (much like Cueball), and spend much of their time deriving the properties of this number system from a few base axioms.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

505: A Bunch of Rocks

2021-09-28T21:29:15Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 505
| date = November 17, 2008
| title = A Bunch of Rocks
| image = a_bunch_of_rocks.png
| titletext = I call Rule 34 on Wolfram's Rule 34.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] awakens to find himself trapped for eternity in an endless expanse of sand and rocks. At first, he uses this time to derive all of mathematics and physics, plus more, including {{w|quantum mechanics}} and {{w|general relativity}}. Next Cueball creates a computer that can process any possible function, out of rocks and rules for the interaction between rocks. He then simulates a particle followed by the interactions between particles, followed by the entire universe. The amount of time it takes to simulate the change in the universe merely from one instant to the next takes an extremely long time, as the time it takes to update just one row of rocks would be eons, assuming a realistic time to place each rock.

Cueball is using the rocks to build a {{w|cellular automaton}}, a computational model based on simple rules to advance from one state to the next. Certain cellular automata are {{w|Turing-complete}}, which means that they can be used to represent any conceivable algorithm if expanded infinitely, including simulating the physics of the universe. He specifically seems to be running Wolfram's {{w|Rule 110}}, which is capable of universal computation. When using Rule 110 for universal computation, one builds a background pattern, which can be seen in the comic as the pattern of smaller triangles, and then performs computation by sending out "rockets" to collide and interact with each other. Cueball can simulate the functioning of an entire universe because he has unlimited time and space (and rocks).

Cueball then apologizes for any flaws we see in the simulation. This implies that the audience is living in Cueball's simulation, making Cueball essentially God, and that he might make mistakes along the way.

The final frame cuts to a classroom where a bored student stares at his hands waiting for class to end. Cueball admonishes the student for thinking that class is lasting forever, the joke being that the boredom felt in a classroom is nothing compared to the boredom that inspires Cueball to spend his endless time toiling to keep the universe moving. Indeed, the minutes of lecture actually took many "billions and billions of millennia" for Cueball to simulate. Another possible explanation is that the entirety of this comic is a fantasy in Cueball’s mind as he zones out during a math lecture.

The title text suggests that {{w|Rule 34 (Internet meme)|Rule 34}} should be called on {{w|Elementary cellular automaton#Random initial state|Wolfram's Rule 34}}. Rule 34 (see [[305: Rule 34]]) is a humorous rule of the Internet that states, "If you can imagine it, there is porn of it. No exceptions." Wolfram's Rule 34 is a cellular automaton. Therefore, the title text says that either someone has made pornography featuring the cellular automaton in question, or someone has used the cellular automaton to produce pornography.

===Graphs===
The three diagrams in the "Physics, too. I worked out the kinks..." panel are, from left to right:
# The {{w|Normal distribution}} of the {{w|Gaussian curve}} marking the points that represent a standard deviation of σ and 2σ. This is one of the fundamental building blocks of statistics. In quantum mechanics, particles are viewed as inherently random, therefore the time at which a particle will decay, the position of a particle, and its velocity are all calculated using similar curves. A deviation of at least σ occurs 32% of the time, while a deviation of 2σ or more occurs about 5% of the time.
# The {{w|Inclined plane#History|Epitaph of Stevinus}}, an explanation of the mechanical advantage of using an {{w|inclined plane}}. The inclined plane is one of the six classical {{w|simple machine}}s, one of the fundamental building blocks of mechanical and civil engineering.
# The last graph is unknown. It may represent coupled pendulums, {{w|length contraction}}, or a hypothetical solution to something we haven't derived yet.

The graph that represents particle interaction is a {{w|Feynman Diagram}}. This shows the interaction of subatomic particles that collide and exchange some momentum via a photon. The slope of the middle line represents the distance moved and the time lost/gained during the interaction.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing in a desert with lots of rocks lying around. He is narrating his own situation. The first panel spans the entire width of the comic. The first line of text is written to the left of him, the second line to the right.]
:So I'm stuck in this desert for eternity.
:I don't know why. I just woke up here one day.

:[The next four panels take up the second line of the comic.]
:[Cueball stand in the desert.]
:I never feel hungry or thirsty.

:[Cueball walks in the desert.]
:I just walk.

:[Zooming out while Cueball continues to walk in the desert.]
:Sand and rocks

:[Zooming far out as Cueball again just stands in the desert. First line of text, above him, is a continuation of the text in the previous panel. The second line is below him.]
:stretch to infinity.
:As best as I can tell.

:[The next three panels take up the third line of the comic. The last takes up half the width.]
:[Cueball is sitting in the desert, in a contemplative position. First line of text above him, the second below.]
:There's plenty of time for thinking out here.
:An eternity really.

:[Cueball is sketching stuff in the sand. First line of text above him, the second below.]
:I've rederived modern math in the sand
:and then some.

:[Three different graph types are depicted. First line of text above them, the second below.]
:Physics too. I worked out the kinks in quantum mechanics and relativity.
:Took a lot of thinking, but this place has fewer distractions than a Swiss patent office.

:[The next eight panels take up the fourth and fifth lines of the comic. All pictures are the same size.]
:[Cueball is walking along the desert, laying out rocks on a line. Four have been deployed. He is laying down the fifth and has a sixth in his other hand.]
:One day I started laying down rows of rocks.

:[Cueball, with a rock in his hand, continues to deploy rock 16, in a more intricate pattern. There are grid-lines in the sand (5 rows, 6 columns), with each intersection either empty of filled with a rock. No rocks lay anywhere but at an intersection on the grid.]
:Each new row followed from the last in a simple pattern.

:[Zooming out showing even more laid out rocks. Cueball is seen directly from above, and we see his shadow falling on the grid of rocks (7 rows, 14 columns).]
:With the right set of rules and enough space,

:[Continues to zoom further out showing clear triangular patterns (with no rocks) in the laid out grid of rocks. Cueball is not seen. (8 rows, 42 columns). First line of text above the grid, the second line below.]
:I was able to build a computer.
:Each new row of stones is the next iteration of the computation.

:[Zooming far out (no Cueball) with rows intersected by five clear V lines on top of them. The V's are drawn inside each other, with the smallest V at the top right, and the other V's starting just to the right of the previous one, and then continuing the same distance past the previous V, as the total length of the first V. The "*" in the first line of text above this grid references to the footnote below written in a smaller font.]
:Sure it's rocks instead of electricity, but it's the same* thing. Just slower.
:<nowiki>*Turing-complete</nowiki>

:[Cueball stands in a contemplative pose (on a clean white background - i.e. no dessert).]
:After a while, I programmed it to be a physics simulator.

:[A black panel with white drawings and text. A small white dot (a particle) is labeled by two arrows coming of two binary strings.]
:Every piece of information about a particle was encoded as a string of bits written in the stones.
:00101010
:00101010

:[A Feynman diagram showing two particles interacting. Two arrows going in and out with a snaking line between them.]
:With enough time and space, I could fully simulate two particles interacting.

:[The next two panels take up the sixth line of the comic. The second panel takes up three-quarters of the width.]
:[Cueball standing before the vastness of the desert, with his programmed lines of rock stretching to infinity.]
:But I have infinite time and space.

:[A black panel with white drawings and text. Depiction of two large galaxies, one with four jets coming out of its center, the other a flat disc. Several smaller galaxies and/or stars are shown around them.]
:So I decided to simulate a universe.

:[The next four panels take up the seventh line of the comic. They are of similar widths.]
:[Cueball is walking by his grid of rocks, lines indicate he has just thrown another rock down in its place. It falls so hard it sinks into the sand that splashes out around it. The 14 rocks above him lie on the grid, four others below this grid have not been used yet.]
:The eons blur past as I walk down a single row.

:[Zoom far far out to show multiple rows of rocks. It is not very clear that there are several triangular patterns (with no rocks) in different sizes in the laid out grid of rocks. There are about 50 rows and 90 columns. There are six large triangles on top of each other at the left edge. To the right, there are three even larger triangles from top to bottom, the one in the middle further to the left than the one above, but further right than the bottom one.]
:The rows blur past to compute a single step.

:[Shows the placement of two particles in the simulation.]
:And in the simulation...

:[The two particles have moved just long enough as to not overlap with their previous positions, shown as an after-image with faint gray lines. The text continues directly the one from the previous panel.]
:another instant ticks by.

:[The next two panels take up the eighth line of the comic. They each take up half the width.]
:[A Cueball-like person (you) observes a mote of dust vanish.]
:So if you see a mote of dust vanish from your vision in a little flash or something

:[Cueball is standing between two rocks on the ground, while holding two rocks, one lifted up to his head. The first line of text is above him. It is a direct continuation of the text in the previous panel. The second line stands below to the right of him.]
:I'm sorry. I must have misplaced a rock
:sometime in the last few billions and billions of millennia.

:[Cueball stands in the "clean" part of his infinite desert, in front of the vastness of his infinity of infinite lines or rocks.]
:Oh and...

:[A Cueball-like student sits in a classroom with his head in his hands, Megan sits behind him, and a teacher points to the blackboard. A clock shows the time at five minutes to ten.]
:If you think the minutes in your morning lecture are taking a long time to pass for ''you''...

==Trivia==
*This comic is available as a signed print in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/signed-prints xkcd store].
*The Swiss patent office line refers to {{w|Albert Einstein}}, who was employed as a Swiss patent clerk while coming up with his theory of special relativity. This joke is also referenced in [[1067|1067: Pressures]]. Also, there is a standing joke that very few important inventions have come from Switzerland, since the country hadn't been involved in the world wars, and thus has not been part of the weapons race, nor was it a driving force in the preceding Industrial Revolution.
*In the center of the comic, the binary numbers pointing to the particle are both 42. This is a reference to the comedic answer to the ''Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything'' from the ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' series.
*Cueball mentions that if we see an artifact flutter in and out of reality he must have made a mistake in the last "billions and billions of millennia." This implies that the small period of time the artifact is present in his time is much longer than our universe has existed. That is a ''very'' long time. However, because it was a really long time, the difference could be [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect more than just a small mote of dust disappearing].
*The line "I've rederived modern math in the sand and then some," is possibly referring to "Surreal Numbers: How two ex-students turned on to pure mathematics and found total happiness" by Donald Knuth. The {{w|Surreal number}}s are a system of numbers that includes the familiar real numbers, but are infinitely more dense. Knuth wrote a novelette about a young couple who find themselves stranded on a deserted island (much like Cueball), and spend much of their time deriving the properties of this number system from a few base axioms.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

505: A Bunch of Rocks

2021-09-28T21:21:01Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 505
| date = November 17, 2008
| title = A Bunch of Rocks
| image = a_bunch_of_rocks.png
| titletext = I call Rule 34 on Wolfram's Rule 34.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] awakens to find himself trapped for eternity in an endless expanse of sand and rocks. At first, he uses this time to derive all of mathematics and physics, plus more, including {{w|quantum mechanics}} and {{w|general relativity}}. Next Cueball creates a computer that can process any possible function, out of rocks and rules for the interaction between rocks. He then simulates a particle followed by the interactions between particles, followed by the entire universe. The amount of time it takes to simulate the change in the universe merely from one instant to the next takes an extremely long time, as the time it takes to update just one row of rocks would be eons, assuming a realistic time to place each rock.

Cueball is using the rocks to build a {{w|cellular automaton}}, a computational model based on simple rules to advance from one state to the next. Certain cellular automata are {{w|Turing-complete}}, which means that they can be used to represent any conceivable algorithm if expanded infinitely, including simulating the physics of the universe. He specifically seems to be running Wolfram's {{w|Rule 110}}, which is capable of universal computation. When using Rule 110 for universal computation, one builds a background pattern, which can be seen in the comic as the pattern of smaller triangles, and then performs computation by sending out "rockets" to collide and interact with each other. Cueball can simulate the functioning of an entire universe because he has unlimited time and space (and rocks).

Cueball then apologizes for any flaws we see in the simulation. This implies that the audience is living in Cueball's simulation, making Cueball essentially God, and that he might make mistakes along the way.

The final frame cuts to a classroom where a bored student stares at his hands waiting for class to end. Cueball admonishes the student for thinking that class is lasting forever, the joke being that the boredom felt in a classroom is nothing compared to the boredom that inspires Cueball to spend his endless time toiling to keep the universe moving. Indeed, the minutes of lecture actually took many "billions and billions of millennia" for Cueball to simulate. Another possible explanation is that the entirety of this comic is a fantasy in Cueball’s mind as he zones out during a math lecture.

The title text suggests that {{w|Rule 34 (Internet meme)|Rule 34}} should be called on {{w|Elementary cellular automaton#Random initial state|Wolfram's Rule 34}}. Rule 34 (see [[305: Rule 34]]) is a humorous rule of the Internet that states, "If you can imagine it, there is porn of it. No exceptions." Wolfram's Rule 34 is a cellular automaton. Therefore, the title text says that either someone has made pornography featuring the cellular automaton in question, or someone has used the cellular automaton to produce pornography.

===Graphs===
The three diagrams in the "Physics, too. I worked out the kinks..." panel are, from left to right:
# The {{w|Normal distribution}} of the {{w|Gaussian curve}} marking the points that represent a standard deviation of σ and 2σ. This is one of the fundamental building blocks of statistics. In quantum mechanics, particles are viewed as inherently random, therefore the time at which a particle will decay, the position of a particle, and its velocity are all calculated using similar curves. A deviation of at least σ occurs 32% of the time, while a deviation of 2σ or more occurs about 5% of the time.
# The {{w|Inclined plane#History|Epitaph of Stevinus}}, an explanation of the mechanical advantage of using an {{w|inclined plane}}. The inclined plane is one of the six classical {{w|simple machine}}s, one of the fundamental building blocks of mechanical and civil engineering.
# The last graph is unknown. It may represent coupled pendulums, {{w|length contraction}}, or a hypothetical solution to something we haven't derived yet.

The graph that represents particle interaction is a {{w|Feynman Diagram}}. This shows the interaction of subatomic particles that collide and exchange some momentum via a photon. The slope of the middle line represents the distance moved and the time lost/gained during the interaction.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing in a desert with lots of rocks lying around. He is narrating his own situation. The first panel spans the entire width of the comic. The first line of text is written to the left of him, the second line to the right.]
:So I'm stuck in this desert for eternity.
:I don't know why. I just woke up here one day.

:[The next four panels take up the second line of the comic.]
:[Cueball stand in the desert.]
:I never feel hungry or thirsty.

:[Cueball walks in the desert.]
:I just walk.

:[Zooming out while Cueball continues to walk in the desert.]
:Sand and rocks

:[Zooming far out as Cueball again just stands in the desert. First line of text, above him, is a continuation of the text in the previous panel. The second line is below him.]
:stretch to infinity.
:As best as I can tell.

:[The next three panels take up the third line of the comic. The last takes up half the width.]
:[Cueball is sitting in the desert, in a contemplative position. First line of text above him the second below.]
:There's plenty of time for thinking out here.
:An eternity really.

:[Cueball is sketching stuff in the sand. First line of text above him the second below.]
:I've rederived modern math in the sand
:and then some.

:[Three different graph types are depicted. First line of text above them the second below.]
:Physics too. I worked out the kinks in quantum mechanics and relativity.
:Took a lot of thinking, but this place has fewer distractions than a Swiss patent office.

:[The next eight panels take up the fourth and fifth line of the comic. All pictures are the same size.]
:[Cueball is walking along the desert, laying out rocks on a line. Four has been deployed, he is laying down the fifth and has a sixth in his other hand.]
:One day I started laying down rows of rocks.

:[Cueball with a rock in his hand, continues to deploy rocks 16, in a more intricate pattern. There are grid-lines in the sand (5 rows, 6 columns), with each intersection either empty of filled with a rock. No rocks lay anywhere but at an intersection on the grid.]
:Each new row followed from the last in a simple pattern.

:[Zooming out showing even more laid out rocks. Cueball is seen directly from above, and we see his shadow falling on the grid of rocks (7 rows, 14 columns).]
:With the right set of rules and enough space,

:[Continues to zoom further out showing clear triangular patterns (with no rocks) in the laid out grid of rocks. Cueball is not seen. (8 rows, 42 columns). First line of text above the grid, the second line below.]
:I was able to build a computer.
:Each new row of stones is the next iteration of the computation.

:[Zooming far out (no Cueball) with rows intersected by five clear V lines on top of them. The V's are drawn inside each other, with the smallest V at the top right, and the other V's starting just to the right of the previous one, and then continuing the same distance past the previous V, as the total length of the first V. The "*" in the first line of text above this grid, references to the footnote below written in a smaller font.]
:Sure it's rocks instead of electricity, but it's the same* thing. Just slower.
:<nowiki>*Turing-complete</nowiki>

:[Cueball stands in contemplative pose (on a clean white background - i.e. no dessert).]
:After a while, I programmed it to be a physics simulator.

:[A black panel with white drawings and text. A small white dot (a particle) is labeled by two arrows coming of two binary strings.]
:Every piece of information about a particle was encoded as a string of bits written in the stones.
:00101010
:00101010

:[A Feynman diagram showing two particles interacting. Two arrows going in and out with a snaking line between them.]
:With enough time and space, I could fully simulate two particles interacting.

:[The next two panels take up the sixth line of the comic. The second panel takes up three quarter of the width.]
:[Cueball standing before the vastness of the desert, with his programmed lines of rock stretching to infinity.]
:But I have infinite time and space.

:[A black panel with white drawings and text. Depiction of two large galaxies, one with four jets coming out of its center, the other a flat disc. Several smaller galaxies and/or stars are shown around them.]
:So I decided to simulate a universe.

:[The next four panels take up the seventh line of the comic. They are of similar widths.]
:[Cueball is walking by his grid of rocks, lines indicate he has just thrown another rock down in its place. It falls so hard it sinks into the sand that splashes out around it. The 14 rocks above him lies on the grid, four other below this grid, have not been used yet.]
:The eons blur past as I walk down a single row.

:[Zoom far far out to show multiple rows of rocks. It is not very clear that there are several triangular patterns (with no rocks) in different sizes in the laid out grid of rocks. There are about 50 rows and 90 columns. There are six large triangles on top of each other at the left edge. To the right there are three even larger triangles from top to bottom, the one in the middle further to the left than the one above, but further right than the bottom one.]
:The rows blur past to compute a single step.

:[Shows the placement of two particles in the simulation.]
:And in the simulation...

:[The two particles have moved just long enough as to not overlap with their the previous position which are shown as an after-image with faint gray lines. The text continues directly the one from the previous panel.]
:another instant ticks by.

:[The next two panels take up the eight line of the comic. They each take up half the width.]
:[A Cueball like person (you) observes a mote of dust vanish.]
:So if you see a mote of dust vanish from your vision in a little flash or something

:[Cueball is standing between two rocks on the ground, while holding two rocks, one lifted up to his head. The first line of text is above him. It is a direct continuation of the text in the previous panel. The second line stands below to the right of him.]
:I'm sorry. I must have misplaced a rock
:sometime in the last few billions and billions of millennia.

:[Cueball stands in the "clean" part of his infinite desert, in front of the vastness of his infinity of infinite lines or rocks.]
:Oh and...

:[A Cueball like student sitting in a classroom with his head in his hands, Megan sits behind him and a teacher points to the blackboard; A clock shows the time at five minutes to ten.]
:If you think the minutes in your morning lecture are taking a long time to pass for ''you''...

==Trivia==
*This comic is available as a signed print in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/signed-prints xkcd store].
*The Swiss patent office line refers to {{w|Albert Einstein}}, who was employed as a Swiss patent clerk while coming up with his theory of special relativity. This joke is also referenced in [[1067|1067: Pressures]]. Also, there is a standing joke that very few important inventions have come from Switzerland, since the country hadn't been involved in the world wars, and thus has not been part of the weapons race, nor was it a driving force in the preceding Industrial Revolution.
*In the center of the comic, the binary numbers pointing to the particle are both 42. This is a reference to the comedic answer to the ''Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything'' from the ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' series.
*Cueball mentions that if we see an artifact flutter in and out of reality he must have made a mistake in the last "billions and billions of millennia." This implies that the small period of time the artifact is present in his time is much longer than our universe has existed. That is a ''very'' long time. However, because it was a really long time, the difference could be [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect more than just a small mote of dust disappearing].
*The line "I've rederived modern math in the sand and then some," is possibly referring to "Surreal Numbers: How two ex-students turned on to pure mathematics and found total happiness" by Donald Knuth. The {{w|Surreal number}}s are a system of numbers that includes the familiar real numbers, but are infinitely more dense. Knuth wrote a novelette about a young couple who find themselves stranded on a deserted island (much like Cueball), and spend much of their time deriving the properties of this number system from a few base axioms.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

504: Legal Hacks

2021-08-31T18:19:58Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 504
| date = November 14, 2008
| title = Legal Hacks
| image = legal_hacks.png
| titletext = It's totally a reasonable modern analogue. Jefferson would have been all about crypto.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Megan]] notices that an {{w|Internet Service Provider}} (ISP) is blocking access to some webpages. [[Cueball]] is thankful that cryptography offers a way around such censorship.

Encryption, the study and use of which is known as "cryptography," or "crypto" for short, is the art of transmitting messages that can only be read by the intended receiver(s) by using mathematical techniques to conceal ("encrypt") the data in the message. One common and effective way to encrypt messages is the {{w|RSA_(algorithm)|RSA algorithm}}, which is based on the difficulty of {{w|integer factorization}} for products of two prime numbers.

Being able to share unbreakable codes and decrypt other people's codes gives countries a military advantage - for example, in World War II, the Americans and British were often able to figure out where a German attack would be coming and send reinforcements there, because they had cracked the {{w|Enigma_machine|German codes}}. Because of this, the {{w|Export_of_cryptography_from_the_United_States|United States government initially tried to keep}} the mathematical details of strong encryption algorithms (including RSA) inside the country by classifying the algorithms as a weapon. It is a crime to share certain kinds of weapons technology with other countries without permission. Amateur and professional cryptographers, angry about the attempt to restrict their work, lobbied the government to change the rule and stop treating cryptography as a weapon, in part so that they could continue to collaborate with colleagues overseas, and in part because they wanted the ability to pass secret messages that the government could not easily decrypt. The export restrictions were gradually loosened and would have mostly been lifted by the year 2000.

In the comic, [[Megan]] makes the provocative and counter-intuitive point that perhaps the cryptographic community could have best ensured easy access to the RSA technique by *allowing* the government to treat RSA as a weapon, and then, once everyone is certain that RSA is a weapon, invoking the {{w|Second Amendment to the United States Constitution}}, commonly known as the "{{w|Right to keep and bear arms in the United States|right to bear arms}}" amendment (that is, the right to own and use weapons). In other words, if RSA were a weapon, it would be granted constitutional protections.

This interpretation is likely a reference to the exceptionally strong antipathy towards arms control in the Southern United States (and not a whole lot weaker in most areas of the Northern and Western states). Any attempts made by the government to restrict distribution or ownership of firearms (even those very similar to military-grade weapons) are typically countered by aggressive opposition from pro-gun rights groups such as the {{w|National Rifle Association}}. These political forces have made most gun restrictions politically untenable in the United States. Megan is likely suggesting that classifying RSA as a weapon would gain the crypto community very powerful and unlikely political allies; on the flip side, if the government had already ruled it a weapon that needed to be restricted for national security purposes, it could easily invoke the same clauses that allow it to restrict actual military-grade hardware such as automatic weapons, explosives, and chemical or biological weapons). Megan may also be hinting that, in the future, the US government might try to restrict access to encryption algorithms, making it necessary for cryptographers to defend their rights to them.

[[Cueball]] is surprised and impressed by this point, and pauses to contemplate Megan's strategy.

The title text claims that this is a reasonable interpretation of the Constitution, because cryptography (a modern weapon) is analogous to muskets and cannons (the weaponry in use in the 1780s, when the Second Amendment was drafted). As evidence for the analogy, the title text points out that Jefferson would have been a big fan of cryptography, which is plausible, because President {{w|Thomas Jefferson}} (the 3rd President of the United States) was an amateur scientist who enjoyed studying a very wide variety of fields (in fact, he invented the {{w|Jefferson disk}}, an encryption device that was quite advanced for its time). The point is somewhat facetious, because it is hard to imagine a modern technique that Jefferson would ''not'' "be totally into." Also, the mere assertion that an early President would have been a fan of a technique is not very good evidence that the technique would be legally permitted by a particular Amendment.

==Transcript==
:[Megan sits at her computer, Cueball standing behind her.]
:Megan: Another ISP's filtering content.
:Cueball: Thank God for Crypto.

:[Cueball stands alone; Megan is presumably off-panel left.]
:Cueball: It wasn't that long ago that RSA was illegal to export. Classified a munition.

:[Megan, sitting in her chair, is looking back towards Cueball, presumably off-panel right.]
:Megan: You know, I think the crypto community took the wrong side in that fight. We should've lobbied to keep it counted as a weapon.
:Cueball: Why?

:[She is now turned around in the chair looking at Cueball, who is in-panel again.]
:Megan: Once they get complacent, we break out the second amendment.
:[Cueball has his hand on his chin, contemplatively.]
:Cueball: ...Damn.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Cryptography]]

503: Terminology

2021-08-31T18:13:31Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 503
| date = November 12, 2008
| title = Terminology
| image = terminology.png
| titletext = Also, is it just me, or do Japan and New Zealand look suspiciously similar? Has anyone seen them at a party together?
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows a map of the world. The X in the center, labeled "ME," indicates [[Randall]]'s approximate location in the U.S., and two arrows point west and east from it. The map uses a format, popular in America, that places the American continents centrally, therefore splitting Asia (parodied by [http://weknowmemes.com/tag/you-cut-asia-in-half/ "you-cut-asia-in-half"]). The comic then shows Europe labeled "{{w|Western world|The West}}" as it is commonly referred to, despite being located to the ''east'' of Randall, and Asia similarly labeled "{{w|Eastern world|The East}}", despite being ''west'' of Randall. Randall is therefore annoyed with the common terms "the West" and "the East" referring to locations east and west of him respectively.

"The East" and "the West" were defined in geographical terms from the {{w|Borders of the continents#Europe and Asia|traditional boundary between Europe and Asia}}. They were later expanded or (mis-)appropriated to include references to cultural, racial, political, and trade connections. Another east-west division comes from zero {{w|longitude}} (the {{w|prime meridian}}): the {{w|Western Hemisphere}} and {{w|Eastern Hemisphere}} are defined in reference to it, and world maps are often centered on it. The fact that the prime meridian runs precisely though the Greenwich Observatory, in London, is an artifact of the British Empire's dominance —and British exploration of the world— in the 1700s and 1800s. In particular, British astronomical tables (made by the {{w|Royal Observatory, Greenwich|Royal Observatory in Greenwich}}, London) were widely used to determine longitude all over the world. The need for establishing a precise zero-longitude is one of the two technological necessities to make a {{w|sextant}} work as a tool to calculate accurate position for map making.

In short, "the East" and "the West" should simply be viewed as a reference to map coordinates and not as relative to where you are as suggested by the comic. An America-centered map does not redefine "the East" or "the West" anymore than an [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__2Vhj2G5F68/TJEIpsuqUCI/AAAAAAAAAG0/r4qa6dHGkbM/s1600/blog.gif Australian up-side-down] {{w|reversed map}} redefines "the North" or "the South".

The convention of orienting maps with north at the top and west at the left was started by the Greek geographer {{w|Ptolemy}}. In his work ''{{w|Geography (Ptolemy)|Geography}}'', he introduced the first coordinate system with latitude and longitude. Randall shows some other possible map orientations in [[977: Map Projections]].

The title text comments on the similarity in shape of New Zealand and Japan, and he suggests that one may in fact be the other in disguise, much like {{w|Clark Kent}} and {{w|Superman}}, as well as similar superhero alter ego pairs. The similarities between New Zealand and Japan are partly explained by the fact that both formed as volcanic island chains.

==Transcript==
:[Map of the world with North America centered. An "x" is placed near the east coast. Asia is labeled "The East" and Europe "The West."]
:"The East" <- West x (me) East -> "The West"

:[Caption below the frame:]
:This always bugged me.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Geography]]

503: Terminology

2021-08-31T18:12:54Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 503
| date = November 12, 2008
| title = Terminology
| image = terminology.png
| titletext = Also, is it just me, or do Japan and New Zealand look suspiciously similar? Has anyone seen them at a party together?
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows a map of the world. The X in the center, labeled "ME," indicates [[Randall]]'s approximate location in the U.S., and two arrows point west and east from it. The map uses a format, popular in America, that places the American continents centrally, therefore splitting Asia (parodied by [http://weknowmemes.com/tag/you-cut-asia-in-half/ "you-cut-asia-in-half"]). The comic then shows Europe labeled "{{w|Western world|The West}}" as it is commonly referred to, despite being located to the ''east'' of Randall, and Asia similarly labeled "{{w|Eastern world|The East}}", despite being ''west'' of Randall. Randall is therefore annoyed with the common terms "the West" and "the East" referring to locations east and west of him respectively.

"The East" and "the West" were defined in geographical terms from the {{w|Borders of the continents#Europe and Asia|traditional boundary between Europe and Asia}}. They were later expanded or (mis-)appropriated to include references to cultural, racial, political, and trade connections. Another east-west division comes from zero {{w|longitude}} (the {{w|prime meridian}}): the {{w|Western Hemisphere}} and {{w|Eastern Hemisphere}} are defined in reference to it, and world maps are often centered on it. The fact that the prime meridian runs precisely though the Greenwich Observatory, in London, is an artifact of the British Empire's dominance —and British exploration of the world— in the 1700s and 1800s. In particular, British astronomical tables (made by the {{w|Royal Observatory, Greenwich|Royal Observatory in Greenwich}}, London) were widely used to determine longitude all over the world. The need for establishing a precise zero-longitude is one of the two technological necessities to make a {{w|sextant}} work as a tool to calculate accurate position for map making.

In short, "the East" and "the West" should simply be viewed as a reference to map coordinates and not as relative to where you are as suggested by the comic. An America-centered map does not redefine "the East" or "the West" anymore than an [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__2Vhj2G5F68/TJEIpsuqUCI/AAAAAAAAAG0/r4qa6dHGkbM/s1600/blog.gif Australian up-side-down] {{w|reversed map}} redefines "the North" or "the South".

The convention of orienting maps with north at the top and west at the left was started by the Greek geographer {{w|Ptolemy}}. In his work ''{{w|Geography (Ptolemy)|Geography}}'', he introduced the first coordinate system with latitude and longitude. Randall shows some other possible map orientations in [[977: Map Projections]].

The title text comments on the similarity in shape of New Zealand and Japan, and he suggests that one may in fact be the other in disguise, much like {{w|Clark Kent}} and {{w|Superman}}, as well as similar superhero alter ego pairs. The similarities between New Zealand and Japan are partly explained by the fact that both formed as volcanic island chains.

==Transcript==
:[Map of world with North America centered. An "x" is placed near east coast. Asia is labeled "The East" and Europe "The West."]
:"The East" <- West x (me) East -> "The West"

:[Caption below the frame:]
:This always bugged me.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Geography]]

502: Dark Flow

2021-08-31T18:08:49Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 502
| date = November 10, 2008
| title = Dark Flow
| image = dark_flow.png
| titletext = The Pioneer anomaly is due to the force of my love.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is about {{w|astronomy}} and the {{w|Your Mom}} jokes that have become increasingly widespread in urban parlance. [[Beret Guy]] is reading a research paper presumably discussing {{w|Dark Flow}}, an observed anomaly in the motions of the galaxies that some theorize is caused by an unobservable sibling universe or similarly supermassive object beyond the edge of the visible universe. [[Cueball]] sees this as an opportunity to make yet another Your Mom joke, implying that Beret Guy's mother is fat.

But apparently, Beret Guy's mother is dead, or at least missing, and he takes the joke seriously. He looks toward the sky and wishes that his mom pull harder so that he could be with her. The joke has been turned onto itself.

The title text is a continuation of Beret Guy's thoughts and refers to another piece of science phenomenon that has been observed in space, the {{w|Pioneer Anomaly}}. The ''{{w|Pioneer 10}}'' and ''{{w|Pioneer 11}}'' spacecraft had been slowed down by an (at the time) unknown force as they exited the solar system, which he says is caused by the force of his love, probably toward his mom. This force has since been explained entirely in 2012 by the probes being decelerated by thermal radiation.

In [[2310: Great Attractor]], the more local {{w|Great Attractor}} is pulling Beret Guy so hard that he can sleep on vertical surfaces when it is close to the horizon.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is sitting at a computer, and Cueball is sitting in an armchair, reading either a book or a newspaper.]
:Beret Guy: According to this A.S.T. paper, every galaxy is being pulled toward one area of the sky.

:[Only Cueball.]
:Beret Guy [off-panel]: They hypothesize that it may be due to a supermassive object beyond the edge of the visible universe.
:Cueball: Maybe it's your mom. Zing!

:[Only Beret Guy.]
:Beret Guy: Do you think?

:[Outside at night, on a rooftop. Beret Guy is looking up to the sky, next to a telescope.]
:Beret Guy: Pull harder, mom.
:Beret Guy: I Miss you.

==Trivia==
* Beret Guy's "A.S.T. paper" might refer to the [https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1086/592947 article] that first mentioned the theory of {{w|Dark flow|dark flow}}, published shortly before this comic. The article appeared in the {{w|American Astronomical Society}}'s {{w|The Astrophysical Journal|Astrophysical Journal Letters}} (ApJL), but it is unclear what is meant by "A.S.T." in the comic.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Telescopes]]

501: Faust 2.0

2021-08-31T18:04:13Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 501
| date = November 7, 2008
| title = Faust 2.0
| image = faust_20.png
| titletext = The only blood these contracts are signed in is from me cutting my hand trying to open the goddamn CD case.
}}

==Explanation==
E.U.L.A. is short for {{w|End-user license agreement}}, a license that software makers often attach to their software but people do not usually read. Agreement to an E.U.L.A. is assumed when a user uses the software or service that the E.U.L.A. is attached to, which has led a case where users have unknowingly [http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2010/04/15/online-shoppers-unknowingly-sold-souls/ actually agreed to give away their immortal souls] because of a clause in an E.U.L.A. However, in the European Union, all provisions of these agreements that aren't already codified in law actually are not legally enforceable, unless they could be read and agreed to before purchase and first use.

A {{w|Faustian deal}} is done by someone who sells his soul to the devil for something desired in this life, a textbook example of wanting instant gratification. The mortal will get the things he wanted, but when he dies, he will have to suffer eternal torment. As the span of a human lifetime is an eye-blink compared to eternity, this is a really stupid thing to do. It is named after the folkloric character {{w|Faust}}, whose story has been the subject of numerous adaptations.

In this comic, [[Cueball]] turns an E.U.L.A. around on {{w|Mephistopheles}}, the demon Faust sells his soul to in the stories, by posting a sign saying that anyone entering the room agrees to turn over their ''own'' immortal soul rather than negotiate with Cueball for his. It is unknown whether this clause applies only to demons or to ''everyone'', which would be quite horrifying.

The title text makes reference to how easy it is to cut open one's own hand while trying to open a newly-bought CD case. Incidentally, a pen works just fine, though the blood is referencing how Satanic contracts are signed in blood. The only blood on the E.U.L.A. contracts that [[Randall]] "signs" by opening a CD is the blood coming from when he cuts himself like this.

A short time later, a similar demon was depicted in a similar fashion in [[533: Laptop Hell]], although with a trident and in Hell. Although not mentioned in the comic, he was also named Mephistopheles in the official transcript.

==Transcript==
:[Over the left side of the main panel, below the middle, is a small panel partly outside the main one. The comic begins inside this panel where a devil drawn like Cueball, but with two small horns on his forehead, is shown from the waist up, raising one hand while moving into the main panel. In the caption below, we learn that the devil is Mephistopheles.]
:Mephistopheles: Mortal! I come offering a deal-

:[In the main panel, with all drawings right of the smaller one, we see the mortal, Cueball, sitting at his desk typing on his laptop. Mephistopheles, now drawn in full figure, has stopped before a sign on a stick in the floor reading it out loud while pointing at it with one hand and holding the other hand in front of his mouth. The text on the sign is visible but unreadable in itself.]
:Cueball: Read the sign.
:Mephistopheles: "By entering this room, you agree to forfeit your own soul rather than negotiate with the mortal residing therein..." 
:Mephistopheles: Wait, you can't-
:Cueball: Too late.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Mephistopheles encounters the E.U.L.A.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

501: Faust 2.0

2021-08-31T18:02:05Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 501
| date = November 7, 2008
| title = Faust 2.0
| image = faust_20.png
| titletext = The only blood these contracts are signed in is from me cutting my hand trying to open the goddamn CD case.
}}

==Explanation==
E.U.L.A. is short for {{w|End-user license agreement}}, a license that software makers often attach to their software but people do not usually read. Agreement to an E.U.L.A. is assumed when a user uses the software or service that the E.U.L.A. is attached to, which has led a case where users have unknowingly [http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2010/04/15/online-shoppers-unknowingly-sold-souls/ actually agreed to give away their immortal souls] because of a clause in an E.U.L.A. However, in the European Union, all provisions of these agreements that aren't already codified in law actually are not legally enforceable, unless they could be read and agreed to before purchase and first use.

A {{w|Faustian deal}} is done by someone who sells his soul to the devil for something desired in this life, a textbook example of wanting instant gratification. The mortal will get the things he wanted, but when he dies, he will have to suffer eternal torment. As the span of a human lifetime is an eye-blink compared to eternity, this is a really stupid thing to do. It is named after the folkloric character {{w|Faust}}, whose story has been the subject of numerous adaptations.

In this comic, [[Cueball]] turns an E.U.L.A. around on {{w|Mephistopheles}}, the demon Faust sells his soul to in the stories, by posting a sign saying that anyone entering the room agrees to turn over their ''own'' immortal soul rather than negotiate with Cueball for his. It is unknown whether this clause applies only to demons or to ''everyone'', which would be quite horrifying.

The title text makes reference to how easy it is to cut open one's own hand while trying to open a newly-bought CD case. Incidentally, a pen works just fine, though the blood is referencing how Satanic contracts are signed in blood. The only blood on the E.U.L.A. contracts that [[Randall]] "signs" by opening a CD is the blood coming from when he cuts himself like this.

A short time later, a similar demon was depicted in a similar fashion in [[533: Laptop Hell]], although with a trident and in Hell. Although not mentioned in the comic, he was also named Mephistopheles in the official transcript.

==Transcript==
:[Over the left side of the main panel, below the middle, is a small panel partly outside the main one. The comic begins inside this panel where a devil drawn like Cueball, but with two small horns on his forehead is shown from the waist up, raising one hand while moving into the main panel. In the caption below we learn that the devil is Mephistopheles.]
:Mephistopheles: Mortal! I come offering a deal-

:[In the main panel, with all drawings right of the smaller one, we see the mortal, Cueball, sitting at his desk typing on his laptop. Mephistopheles, now drawn in full figure, has stopped before a sign on a stick in the floor reading is out loud while pointing at it with one hand and holding the other hand in front of his mouth. The text on the sign is visible but unreadable in it self.]
:Cueball: Read the sign.
:Mephistopheles: "By entering this room, you agree to forfeit your own soul rather than negotiate with the mortal residing therein..." 
:Mephistopheles: Wait, you can't-
:Cueball: Too late.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Mephistopheles encounters the E.U.L.A.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

500: Election

2021-08-23T02:55:30Z

Alcazar84: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 500
| date = November 5, 2008
| title = Election
| image = election.png
| titletext = Someday I'll be rich enough to hire Nate Silver to help make all my life decisions. 'Should I sleep with her?' 'Well, I'm showing a 35% chance it will end badly.'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic was published the day after the {{w|United States presidential election, 2008|2008 presidential election}} in the US. [[Cueball]] has been closely following the quantitative aspect of the election for over a year and a half, and he seems to be relieved that it's over. Now that the election has passed, he does not have to follow the many different opinion polls, number-crunching analyses, and news clips about people like {{w|Joe the Plumber}} that he has kept close track of during the election season. As soon as he says this, however, he starts to search for information on the {{w|United States presidential election, 2012|2012 election}}, suggesting that his political obsession has not at all passed.

A list of the elements Cueball had been thinking about:
* {{w|Opinion poll|Opinion polls}}: These are simply surveys of voters' opinions on various issues and who they plan to vote for. They tend to be the primary source for predicting the outcome of elections as they can be created well in advance.
* {{w|Exit poll|Exit polls}}: These are surveys conducted with people who have just voted. They are useful as they provide data at the very last minute, so that no other unforeseen circumstances can affect people's decisions (and undecided is no longer an option). However they are not available until the last minute, and can be more biased than opinion polls.
* {{w|Margin of error|Margins of error}}: As censuses are expensive and ultimately pointless, given that the election is effectively a big census, with "did not vote" as an option, {{w|pundits}} (or "talking-heads") use surveys, which involves just interviewing a hopefully representative random sample of voters. This, however, means that the surveys results are not likely to be quite the same as an equivalent census. A margin of error reflects how much variation could likely be expected. Due to the fact that a sample was used, they do not cover issues such as a sample being unrepresentative.
* {{w|Attack ad|Attack ads}}: Attack ads are a form of political campaigning where rather than emphasizing their own qualifications and attributes, a candidate or a group affiliated with the candidate tries to convince voters that their opponents are unsuitable for the office.
* {{w|Game Change|Game-changers}}: Game-changers are events that pundits claim will lead to significant changes in polls. During an election season, at least one election event a month for each candidate is promoted as a "game-changer" by the media. In actuality, it usually has no effect on the outcome, as most voters are already decided in US presidential elections.
* {{w|Opinion_poll#Tracking_polls|Tracking polls}}: A tracking poll is a poll repeated at intervals and averaged. For example, a monthly tracking poll uses the data from the past month and discards older data.
* {{w|Swing State|Swing states}}: In the United States, several states have significant support for one party, and hence due to the fact that the electoral college gives all of a state's vote to a single candidate, small changes in votes do not change the party that has the majority of the vote, and hence does not change who receives that state's electoral college votes. Other states that have near equal support for each candidate are referred to as swing states, and they are particularly interesting for pundits, as relatively small changes in votes can have significant effects on the end result.
* {{w|Swing Vote|Swing votes}}: Swing votes are similar to swing states, expect that they refer to groups of people. If there is a significant social group, a large segment of which could possibly vote for either side, they are of particular interest for pundits.
* {{w|Bradley effect}}: The Bradley effect is a theory that in elections containing a minority candidate, polls will often tend to overstate their level of support. It is theorized that this is due to people not wanting to appear racist whilst being surveyed, so some people who support a non-minority candidate may either claim to be undecided or plan to vote for the minority candidate. However, as voting is private, at that point they may reveal their true preference. The effect is named after Los Angeles Mayor {{w|Tom Bradley (American politician)|Tom Bradley}}, an African-American who lost the 1982 California governor's race despite having appeared to have a significant lead in the opinion polls. This effect was particularly interesting for pundits in the 2008 US Presidential Election because of the running of {{w|Barack Obama}}, the first African-American presidential candidate. As there was no precedent for this at this level, some pundits were concerned about how much of his lead in the polls might be due to this effect.
* <name> the <occupation>: A significant event in the 2008 US Presidential Election was a question proposed to the then Democratic nominee Barack Obama by {{w|Joe the Plumber}}. This promoted a variety of hitbacks and counter-hits. Cueball is referring to the tendency of the media at the time to refer to many critics of the two candidates using the {{w|snowclone}} "<name> the <occupation>," where <name> is replaced by the person's first name and <occupation> by their occupation (e.g. "Brad the Masturbator").

The title text is about statistician {{w|Nate Silver}}, who became something of a geek celebrity for his analysis during the campaign. He correctly predicted the outcomes of 49 of the 50 states in the 2008 election on his blog. It jokes that having him predict the outcomes of life decisions would make choosing the best thing to do very easy. So if Cueball ask Nate - "Should I sleep with her?", then Nate could give him a forecast like this: "Well, I'm showing a 35% chance it will end badly." Later, in 2016, Nate Silver's website, FiveThirtyEight, launched [http://fivethirtyeight.com/tag/survey-says/ an advice column] thus making the title text partially come true.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits at his computer desk, staring at his computer.]

:Cueball: It's over.
:Cueball: After twenty months it's finally over.
:Cueball: I don't have to be an election junkie anymore.

:[Close-up of Cueball's face and screen.]

:Cueball: I don't have to care about opinion polls, exit polls, margins of error, attack ads, game-changers, tracking polls, swing states, swing votes, the Bradley effect, or <name> the <occupation>.
:Cueball: I'm free.

:[Cueball staring at his computer screen, full shot.]
:[Cueball types on his computer.]
:''Tap Tap''

:[On screen:]
:Google '2012 polling statistics'

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nate Silver]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Elections]]

500: Election

2021-08-23T02:55:04Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 500
| date = November 5, 2008
| title = Election
| image = election.png
| titletext = Someday I'll be rich enough to hire Nate Silver to help make all my life decisions. 'Should I sleep with her?' 'Well, I'm showing a 35% chance it will end badly.'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic was published the day after the {{w|United States presidential election, 2008|2008 presidential election}} in the US. [[Cueball]] has been closely following the quantitative aspect of the election for over a year and a half, and he seems to be relieved that it's over. Now that the election has passed, he does not have to follow the many different opinion polls, number-crunching analyses, and news clips about people like {{w|Joe the Plumber}} that he has kept close track of during the election season. As soon as he says this, however, he starts to search for information on the {{w|United States presidential election, 2012|2012 election}}, suggesting that his political obsession has not at all passed.

A list of the elements Cueball had been thinking about:
* {{w|Opinion poll|Opinion polls}}: These are simply surveys of voters' opinions on various issues and who they plan to vote for. They tend to be the primary source for predicting the outcome of elections as they can be created well in advance.
* {{w|Exit poll|Exit polls}}: These are surveys conducted with people who have just voted. They are useful as they provide data at the very last minute, so that no other unforeseen circumstances can affect people's decisions (and undecided is no longer an option). However they are not available until the last minute, and can be more biased than opinion polls.
* {{w|Margin of error|Margins of error}}: As censuses are expensive and ultimately pointless, given that the election is effectively a big census, with "did not vote" as an option, {{w|pundits}} (or "talking-heads") use surveys, which involves just interviewing a hopefully representative random sample of voters. This, however, means that the surveys results are not likely to be quite the same as an equivalent census. A margin of error reflects how much variation could likely be expected. Due to the fact that a sample was used, they do not cover issues such as a sample being unrepresentative.
* {{w|Attack ad|Attack ads}}: Attack ads are a form of political campaigning where rather than emphasizing their own qualifications and attributes, a candidate or a group affiliated with the candidate tries to convince voters that their opponents are unsuitable for the office.
* {{w|Game Change|Game-changers}}: Game-changers are events that pundits claim will lead to significant changes in polls. During an election season, at least one election event a month for each candidate is promoted as a "game-changer" by the media. In actuality, it usually has no effect on the outcome, as most voters are already decided in US presidential elections.
* {{w|Opinion_poll#Tracking_polls|Tracking polls}}: A tracking poll is a poll repeated at intervals and averaged. For example, a monthly tracking poll uses the data from the past month and discards older data.
* {{w|Swing State|Swing states}}: In the United States, several states have significant support for one party, and hence due to the fact that the electoral college gives all of a state's vote to a single candidate, small changes in votes do not change the party that has the majority of the vote, and hence does not change who receives that state's electoral college votes. Other states that have near equal support for each candidate are referred to as swing states, and they are particularly interesting for pundits, as relatively small changes in votes can have significant effects on the end result.
* {{w|Swing Vote|Swing votes}}: Swing votes are similar to swing states, expect that they refer to groups of people. If there is a significant social group, a large segment of which could possibly vote for either side, they are of particular interest for pundits.
* {{w|Bradley effect}}: The Bradley effect is a theory that in elections containing a minority candidate, polls will often tend to overstate their level of support. It is theorized that this is due to people not wanting to appear racist whilst being surveyed, so some people who support a non-minority candidate may either claim to be undecided or plan to vote for the minority candidate. However, as voting is private, at that point they may reveal their true preference. The effect is named after Los Angeles Mayor {{w|Tom Bradley (American politician)|Tom Bradley}}, an African-American who lost the 1982 California governor's race despite having appeared to have a significant lead in the opinion polls. This effect was particularly interesting for pundits in the 2008 US Presidential Election because of the running of {{w|Barack Obama}}, the first African-American presidential candidate. As there was no precedent for this at this level, some pundits were concerned about how much of his lead in the polls might be due to this effect.
* <name> the <occupation>: A significant event in the 2008 US Presidential Election was a question proposed to the then Democratic nominee Barack Obama by {{w|Joe the Plumber}}. This promoted a variety of hitbacks and counter-hits. Cueball is referring to the tendency of the media at the time to refer to many critics of the two candidates using the {{w|snowclone}} "<name> the <occupation>," where <name> is replaced by the person's first name and <occupation> by their occupation (e.g. "Brad the Masturbator").

The title text is about statistician {{w|Nate Silver}}, who became something of a geek celebrity for his analysis during the campaign. He correctly predicted the outcomes of 49 of the 50 states in the 2008 election on his blog. It jokes that having him predict the outcomes of life decisions would make choosing the best thing to do very easy. So if Cueball ask Nate - "Should I sleep with her?", then Nate could give him a forecast like this: "Well, I'm showing a 35% chance it will end badly." Later, in 2016, Nate Silver's website, FiveThirtyEight, launched [http://fivethirtyeight.com/tag/survey-says/ an advice column] thus making the title text partially come true.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits at his computer desk, staring at his computer.]

:Cueball: It's over.
:Cueball: After twenty months it's finally over.
:Cueball: I don't have to be an election junkie anymore.

:[Closeup of Cueball's face and screen.]

:Cueball: I don't have to care about opinion polls, exit polls, margins of error, attack ads, game-changers, tracking polls, swing states, swing votes, the Bradley effect, or <name> the <occupation>.
:Cueball: I'm free.

:[Cueball staring at his computer screen, full shot.]
:[Cueball types on his computer.]
:''Tap Tap''

:[On screen:]
:Google '2012 polling statistics'

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nate Silver]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Elections]]

498: Secretary: Part 5

2021-08-16T18:28:00Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 498
| date = October 31, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 5
| image = secretary part 5.png
| titletext = And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the fifth and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. The culmination has [[Black Hat]] up to his usual shenanigans in the {{w|United States Senate chamber|US Senate chamber room}}.

The hearings have ended, with the chairman deciding to sentence him to death, instead of confirming his position of Internet Secretary. Black Hat replies that he was "never interested in taking the position." This would be quite weird, as Senate confirmation meetings take a long time. The committee members are obviously surprised, and they question Black Hat, trying to get him to reveal his motives. He then cryptically replies that "It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels." The confused committee members then look at each other.

A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman, before being followed by a geyser of red, white, and blue balls, which begin to engulf the room and the Senate rotunda. Of course, Black Hat has already escaped by grabbing Tron Paul's lightcycle and using it to smash his way out of the rotunda.

Outside the Senate, Cory Doctorow offers Black Hat a lift and asks if he's a fugitive now, and Black Hat replies that they never had his name, which is odd, considering that they know he's stolen a nuclear submarine, along with everything else mentioned in [[496: Secretary: Part 3]]

Back at Congress, they seem to have forgotten about Black Hat's "gleeful mayhem" and are jumping off the balcony into the ball pit below.

The title text refers to {{w|Al Gore}}. Al Gore was the {{w|Vice President of the United States|Vice President}} under President {{w|Bill Clinton}} and ran as the Democratic nominee for President in 2000. Al Gore has had {{w|Al Gore and information technology|quite a history with the Internet}}, including one oft-misquoted (rather, quoted out of context) interview with CNN in which he told {{w|Wolf Blitzer}}, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." Many spun this to mean he claimed to have actually invented the Internet himself, although some of its {{w|List of Internet pioneers|pioneers}} clarified what Gore actually meant (that "his initiatives led directly to the commercialization of the Internet") and agreed with this assessment.<ref>[https://www.theregister.co.uk/2000/10/02/net_builders_kahn_cerf_recognise/ "Net builders Kahn, Cerf recognise Al Gore"]. ''The Register''. October 2, 2000. [https://web.archive.org/web/20191215233809/https://www.theregister.co.uk/2000/10/02/net_builders_kahn_cerf_recognise/ Archived] from the original on December 15, 2019. Retrieved January 31, 2020. "No one in public life has been more intellectually engaged in helping to create the climate for a thriving Internet than the Vice President."</ref><ref>[https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/interviews/a4451/vint-cerf-0508/ "Vint Cerf Interview — Quotes from the Father of the Internet"]. ''Esquire''. April 24, 2008. [https://web.archive.org/web/20190904220345/https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/interviews/a4451/vint-cerf-0508/ Archived] from the original on September 4, 2019. Retrieved January 31, 2020. "His initiatives led directly to the commercialization of the Internet. So he really does deserve credit."</ref>

The Senate or a Senate committee, in reality, cannot sentence a person to death, as that would be a {{w|Bill of attainder|bill of attainder}}, which Congress is prohibited from passing by Article I, Section 9, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution: "No Bill of Attainder ... shall be passed." "An unorthodox move," indeed.

{{w|Tron (video game)|Tron}} was an arcade game, based on the {{w|Tron (movie)|movie}} of the same name, and both released in 1982. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles that left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the {{w|Snake (game)|Snake game}}.

Of course, [[playpen balls]] have been the topic of many comics before, notably in [[150: Grownups]].

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was nominated as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[The Senate. Black Hat sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.]
:Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.

:Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.

:Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.
:[Black Hat is leaning back in his chair.]

:[Tron Paul's lightcycle swerves wildly.]
:Meanwhile...

:Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!

:[Back at the Senate. Black Hat is standing.]
:Black Hat: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.

:Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings?

:Black Hat: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.

:[The committee members murmur among themselves.]

:[There is a panel in the floor between Black Hat and the committee.]
:''RUMBLE''
:''plink plink''

:[A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.]
:''plink''

:[The room is still. Black Hat's arms are folded.]

:[A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Black Hat is already gone.]
:''FOOM''

:[The committee members chase Black Hat out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.]

:[The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.]

:[Black Hat stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.]
:Committee Members: Security! Someone!
:Committee Members: Get Him!

:[Tron Paul bursts through the wall.]
:''CRASH''
:Tron Paul: Aaaaa!

:[Black Hat grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.]
:''snag''
:Tron Paul: Hey!

:[Black Hat swings onto the top of the light cycle.]

:[Black Hat crouches on top of the light cycle.]
:Tron Paul: Get Off!

:[Tron Paul and Black Hat crash through the far wall of the rotunda.]
:''CRASH''

:[Tron Paul hits the ground.]
:''WHAM''
:Tron Paul: Ow!

:[Black Hat runs away.]
:Tron Paul: Ughhh.

:[The lightcycle disappears.]
:Tron Paul: I feel queasy...
:Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!
:Black Hat: Hi, Cory.
:Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?
:Black Hat: Sure.

:[Black Hat and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.]
:Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?
:Black Hat: Well, I never did give them my name...

:[Senators play in the playpen balls.]
:But in the rotunda
:Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!
:Senators: Senior senators first!
:Senators: Wheeee!
:Senators: I'm a submarine!
:All is forgiven.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|05]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Playpen balls]]

497: Secretary: Part 4

2021-08-16T18:22:25Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 497
| date = October 30, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 4
| image = secretary part 4.png
| titletext = It's time to draw the line.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Ron Paul}} is an American physician, author, and politician who is a {{w|US House of Representatives|House Representative}} for {{w|Texas}} and is a three-time Presidential candidate, running as a {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian}} and a {{w|Republican Party (United States)|Republican}}. He has a very dedicated and vocal base of supporters who believe that he is [[1083|the only true alternative]] to either side of [[661|the Two-Party System]]. These supporters go under the name "{{w|Ron_Paul_presidential_campaign,_2008#Ron_Paul_Revolution|Ron Paul Revolution}}" with the letters "evol" reversed to emphasise "love."

{{w|Tron (film)|Tron}} is a movie made by {{w|Disney}}. The title text refers to the line of virtual light that streams out from the back of Tron's light grid vehicles. Normally it is a single, solid color, but in the comic, it is the color of the American flag to show Ron's patriotism. There is also a joke about {{w|Pokémon}} in the phrase "... evolves into ...". Pokémon is a game where the player, a "Trainer," has their Pokémon battle other Pokémon to level the Pokémon up. As the Pokémon levels up, they evolve into the next, more powerful, form of the Pokémon.

Ron Paul and {{w|Cory Doctorow}} are fighting because Cory Doctorow believes he must support fellow bloggers no matter what, and Ron Paul wants the nomination that Black Hat, a blogger, is getting.

There is a subtle joke in the panel where Ron Paul and Cory Doctorow are firing at each other; the sound effect for Cory's guns is "Boing! Boing!," which is the name of [http://boingboing.net Cory Doctorow's blog]. Also, a visual joke is that Cory's turret in panel 5 very much resembles an upside-down {{w|Dalek}}. The latter might not be an intentional joke, however, as Ron Paul's turret is designed the same way as Cory's.

The reference to gold touches on Ron Paul's desire to see monetary policy once again be driven by the gold standard, namely that a country's currency value be driven not by its economic activity, but by the amount of physical gold it owns. Earlier in American history, this was the case; owning a dollar would (in theory) be owning one dollar's worth of gold somewhere in the treasury. This is in contrast with the current international practice, where countries are able to print an arbitrary quantity of paper money that is not necessarily backed by physical gold. Adherence to the gold standard is an extreme minority view; most economists, and the population at large, agree that the current system is much better. This may also be a reference to the final scene in {{w|The Italian Job}}, where the heroes face a decision over losing a large quantity of gold - or death or a reference to {{w|The Mysterious Island}}, where the survivors have to drop the gold in their hot air balloon to prevent losing altitude.

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[The Ron Paul Revolution blimp floats.]
:Pilot: Sir! The balloon is hailing us!

:[Cory Doctorow's balloon appears.]
:Cory: Ahoy.
:Ron Paul: Doctorow!
:Cory: I won't let you stop this nomination. We bloggers watch out for our own.

:Ron Paul: Stand aside, Cory.
:Cory: Nay!
:Ron Paul: Very well. Battle stations!

:[The Ron Paul Revolution blimp's gun takes aim.]
:''Whirrr kachunk''

:[Cory Doctorow's balloon's gun takes aim.]
:''Whirrrr kachunk''

:[Both airships open fire.]
:''Pew pew pew''
:''Pew pew''
:''Boing! Boing!''

:[Inside the Ron Paul Revolution blimp's control room.]
:Ponytail: We're taking damage!
:Ron Paul: Keep firing!
:Ponytail: No good! We're losing altitude!

:[Outside the Ron Paul Revolution blimp, it hangs smoking in the air.]
:Ron Paul: All engines full! Pull up!
:Ponytail: Can't, sir!

:[The Ron Paul Revolution blimp begins to sink, smoking more heavily.]

:[The blimp sinks further.]
:Ponytail: Sir, maybe if we dropped all this gold...
:Ron Paul: Never!

:[Inside the control room, tilted slightly.]
:Ponytail: We've lost, sir. We have to abort.
:Ron Paul: Not yet, we don't! Open the loading bay doors.

:[Camera zooms out slightly.]
:Ron Paul: You take the blimp and fall back.
:''click''
:Ron Paul: I've got a message to deliver.
:''Whirr''

:[Ron Paul tosses his cane aside.]

:[Ron Paul steadily transforms into Tron Paul.]
:Narrator: RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL

:[Light cycle begins to form.]

:[Tron Paul bends over the light cycle.]

:[Light cycle finishes its formation.]

:[Light cycle speeds off, trailing an American flag.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|04]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Airships]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]

496: Secretary: Part 3

2021-08-16T18:17:56Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 496
| date = October 29, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 3
| image = secretary part 3.png
| titletext = He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle.
}}

==Explanation==
When a person has been appointed to be on certain positions<ref>https://www.senate.gov/CRSpubs/74919ab6-b407-451c-b429-702e9ae8dcb1.pdf</ref> by the {{w|POTUS|President}}, they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the {{w|United States Senate|Senate}} (the upper house of {{w|United States Congress|Congress}}) where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, [[Black Hat]] is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his {{w|résumé}}.
N.B. When this comic was written, Senate confirmation hearings occurred rapidly after a president made a nomination and were expected to prevent unsuitable candidates from being given positions of power.

*{{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain.
**He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]], Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle, but it is quite dramatic.
**The title text refers to the Starbucks incident. Taking all the parts from different cars to build a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the {{w|Ship of Theseus}}, in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
*{{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}}, who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}}, who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}.
**The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances. Being the [[classhole]] that he is, Black Hat has shot up the Snoopy float with a stolen Red Fokker triplane, which would be disturbing, especially to the kids watching the parade, who would get the impression that Snoopy has died. His statement that he "Got three mimes, too" just proves his casual disregard for collateral damage.
*{{w|9/11 Truth movement|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} towers on {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}} (thus 9/11) was not actually organized by terrorists, but by the United States government. Black Hat interrupts their conspiracy theory gathering, insisting on a comically exaggerated version of this conspiracy theory in which the attacks did not happen ''at all'' and the World Trade Center is presumably still standing. Such a conspiracy is extremely implausible, as it would require either the involvement of every single person to ever set foot in one of the world's largest cities, or some way to conceal a pair of hundred story tall buildings, which would be extremely difficult. Whether Black Hat actually believes this, or is just trying to troll conspiracy theorists, is unknown.
**Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]] to insult the senators.
*{{w|RadioShack}} is a chain of consumer electronics shops that sells parts to build electronics with resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores have been in steady decline over the years, largely propped up by momentum.
*{{w|Microsoft}} is the company that makes {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}, and {{w|Steve Ballmer}} was its {{w|Chief executive officer|CEO}} until being replaced in 2014 by {{w|Satya Nadella}}. {{w|Windows Vista}} is an {{w|operating system}} released in 2007; it was widely panned by software critics. It is unclear how feeding a squirrel through a fax machine could possibly contribute to winning an argument about it, but given Black Hat's almost superhuman abilities to troll and avoid the consequences, it's possible that it could happen.
*{{w|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}} was the second female justice on the {{w|Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court}}, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). {{w|John Roberts}}, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
*Black Hat stole a {{w|nuclear submarine}} in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]]. However, that one was a Russian submarine, and in 2008 (when this comic was drawn), the US Senate would probably not have held that against a nominee (things might be different in 2020). Perhaps they are indeed referencing that incident, or it could be that he has also stolen an American submarine. Stealing one navy submarine would be impossibly hard; stealing nuclear submarines from not one but two different navies would be practically impossible.
*"Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the {{w|Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment}} of the {{w|United States Bill of Rights}}. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution|third amendment}} states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will in peacetime. Either Black Hat
**Doesn't understand the 3rd Amendment,
**Just chooses this amendment over the 5th to confuse the committee, who seems to forget the question,
**Believes the nuclear submarine to be his property, and rather than stealing it, he was simply expelling military personnel who were "quartered" in his nuclear sub without his permission, or
**Stole the submarine in order to have a convenient place other than his house to quarter troops

The final panels show Ron Paul's blimp finally approaching Washington DC. The balloon spotted on their radar is presumably piloted by blogger {{w|Cory Doctorow}}, as revealed in the next installment, Secretary: Part 4.

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[The confirmation hearings begin.]
:Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.

:Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?
:Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces.

:Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?

:Black Hat: Got three mimes, too.

:Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?
:Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!

:Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?

:Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.

:Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?

:Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista.
::Which I won, by the way.

:[Senators look down at their notes.]

:Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

:Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine?
:Black Hat: I plead the third.

:Senator: You mean the fifth?
:Black Hat: No, the third.

:Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?
:Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.

:Meanwhile...
:[Aboard Ron Paul's blimp.]
:Ponytail: We're nearing Washington, sir.
::Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.

:Ponytail: It's a balloon.
:Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|03]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]
[[Category:Sheeple]]
[[Category:9/11]]

495: Secretary: Part 2

2021-08-02T13:41:05Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 495
| date = October 28, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 2
| image = secretary part 2.png
| titletext = That helmet won't save him.
}}

==Explanation==
Whenever something big happens the news, media likes to have at least two things: interviews with people who are the news, and on-the-scene reporters. In this case, [[Blondie]] as a [[:Category:News anchor|news anchor]] is shown to begin with talking about [[Black Hat]], and she has even been out at his house. Even if those reporters are simply standing in front of a building that something happened in, they have to be on-scene. To thwart the media (and probably everyone else), Black Hat has built a {{w|moat}} around his apartment building. The second reporter is on-the-scene from the Internet, or rather, one of its darkest corners: {{w|4chan}}. In more detail, 4chan is a collection of image boards that act somewhat like forums, where users go to share images. The different boards are named by their "folder" structure, for lack of a better term. Therefore, the name /b/ comes from its URL: 4chan.org/b/. Pronounced "slash bee" (because the second forward slash is not necessary), /b/ is the "random" board, where anything goes, where anything is the superset of all sets, as in anything. Absolutely. Anything. As in, going more than two seconds without seeing pornographic content or hateful slurs is almost unheard of. /b/ is also the one that gets the most publicity, because it has started most of the {{w|meme}}s [http://knowyourmeme.com/] on the Internet, as well as the birthplace of {{w|Anonymous (group)|Anonymous}}. The chaotic nature of the forums explains why the title text suggests that the reporter isn't safe, even though he is wearing a helmet. In fact, a goofy helmet like that is liable to get the trolls on him faster than if he didn't have it.

{{w|Ron Paul}} is a man who was a U.S. Representative for Texas at the time. At the time the comic was published, he was running, for the second time, for {{w|President of the United States}}.

A {{w|haberdasher}} is a person who sells small articles of clothing that have been or can be sewed. In modern English, a haberdashery (where a haberdasher would work) is a place that sells hats.

Ron Paul's 2008 presidential campaign did, in fact, use a {{w|blimp}} that was named the {{w|Ron_Paul_presidential_campaign,_2008#Ron_Paul_Blimp|Ron Paul Blimp}}. However, despite their elegant appearance, blimps are not a very fast way to travel.

The images on the /b/ board behind the reporter are:
*[https://youtu.be/ZWwMre0PuTQ "'''A'''yyy"], a common exclamation by the character {{w|Fonzie}} from the TV show ''{{w|Happy Days}}'', usually while giving {{w|Thumb signal|two thumbs up}}.
*{{w|/b/|/'''b'''/}}, the "random" {{w|Internet forum|discussion board}} on 4chan.
*A {{w|Compact disc|'''C'''ompact '''D'''isc}} (or "CD"), a plastic disc for {{w|Optical disc|optical}} {{w|Data storage|data storage}}.
*[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/epic-fail-guy '''E'''pic '''F'''ail '''G'''uy], a {{w|Internet meme|meme}} that originated on 4chan, of a {{w|Stick figure|stick-figure}} character (often wearing a {{w|Guy Fawkes mask}}) who fails at everything he tries.
Together, the initial letters of these items spell out "'''ABCDEFG'''".

The title text states that the second reporter (Tom)'s helmet won't help him, though from what, it is unclear as he himself stated he wasn't sure why he was wearing the helmet.

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[Blondie as a news anchor sitting behind a desk is reading from a paper she holds in her hands. There is a picture of Black Hat on a screen behind her. There is a caption below the picture.]
:Blondie: Breaking news—the President has made a nomination to the new post of Internet Secretary. We know little about the man, shown here.
:Caption: Possibly a haberdasher?

:[Blondie keeps talking over a scene showing her standing with a microphone in front of a water-filled moat that has been dug between the road and a house. A small stair up to the house is just on the other side of the moat. Behind her is Cueball with a large TV camera on his shoulder pointing towards her and the house.]
:Blondie (narrating): Attempts to reach the nominee at home were unsuccessful.
:Blondie: What the hell kind of apartment has a moat?

:[Back to Blondie behind her desk, the paper is gone, and she leans one arm on the desk. There is no screen behind her.]
:Blondie: To understand the culture from which he came — and which he may soon administer — we sent a reporter to what we're told is the source of that culture.
:Blondie: Tom?

:[This panel is much larger than the three previous panels and partly hidden behind the last. Tom, looking like Cueball with a military helmet with camouflage marks strapped under his chin, holds a large microphone in front of him while standing in front of a large screen. The screen shows a message board with four picture posts. Each picture has a text to the right, but those are unreadable scribbles. The top drawing is of a man with wild hair who holds out his hands with thumbs up. The next is text. Then there is a circle with a smaller circle in the middle and at the bottom what appears to be a Cueball-like man with a fencing mask. Blondie still speaks to him from off-panel left.]
:Tom: I'm coming to you live from the 4chan /b/ board. Despite the tube cloggage, nascent memes are flying fast and furious.
:Blondie (off-panel): Why are you wearing a helmet, Tom?
:Tom: I'm not sure.
:Image with text only: /b/

:[Ponytail is sitting in front of a large control unit using the two levers coming out of it from below two buttons that are again below the lit screen. A voice comes from off-panel left. Above the top of the panels frame, there is a frame with a caption:]
:Meanwhile in Ron Paul's blimp.
:Ron Paul (off-panel): Ahoy! What news of the blogs?

:[Zoom out showing Ponytail, who has turned around on her office chair away from the controls towards Ron Paul drawn like Cueball but with a cane. She holds up a piece of paper with a small square insert visible at the top. Apart from that, it is white.]
:Ponytail: Dr. Paul! The President's named his nominee!
:Ron Paul: It's not me?

:[Ron Paul's blimp is shown from the outside. His voice can be seen coming from the airship. There is text on the blimp, with the four letters after the first written mirrored to spell another word.]
:Ron Paul (from inside the blimp): Wait! I remember that guy from the campaign! He's a notorious troll!
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Back inside the blimp, Ron Paul points to Ponytail, while his other hand is lifted to his chin. His cane leans against his legs. Ponytail looks at him from her chair, the paper now held in her lap.]
:Ron Paul: They mustn't put him in charge. Quick, call the capitol!

:[Ponytail turns around on her chair towards the controls and takes hold of one of the sticks. Ron Paul has taken the cane in his hand again.]
:Ponytail: Can't, sir. The tubes just went down completely.
:Ron Paul: Blast!

:[Ponytail now holds onto both sticks as Ron Paul lifts his cane up into the air pointing away from her up and right.]
:Ron Paul: Then we'll go ourselves. Full speed ahead!

:[A full view of the blimp hanging in the air to the left over a broad landscape. There seems to be a small lake just in front of the blimp. The horizon is shown all along this full width panel, and after the lake, there are five small mountain peaks, two behind the three in front. After the last of these, there follow one more peak and a small mound. Features are shown on the ground. In the air in front of the blimp, there are a small cloud inside the panel at the end of the lake and a large cloud breaking the upper frame over the end of the five mountains stretching over the next peak and mound.]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely, taking the tip clearly over the lake. Beat panel #1]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely again. Beat panel #2]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image, but now the two speak from within the blimp. The blimp has again advanced minutely so the gondola below the blimp is now also almost at the edge of the lake.]
:Ron Paul: I said full speed!
:Ponytail: It's a blimp, sir!
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|02]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]] 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:News anchor]]
[[Category:Airships]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Politics]]

495: Secretary: Part 2

2021-08-02T13:13:52Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 495
| date = October 28, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 2
| image = secretary part 2.png
| titletext = That helmet won't save him.
}}

==Explanation==
Whenever something big happens the news, media likes to have at least two things: interviews with people who are the news, and on-the-scene reporters. In this case, [[Blondie]] as a [[:Category:News anchor|news anchor]] is shown to begin with talking about [[Black Hat]], and she has even been out at his house. Even if those reporters are simply standing in front of a building that something happened in, they have to be on-scene. To thwart the media (and probably everyone else), Black Hat has built a {{w|moat}} around his apartment building. The second reporter is on-the-scene from the Internet, or rather, one of its darkest corners: {{w|4chan}}. In more detail, 4chan is a collection of image boards that act somewhat like forums, where users go to share images. The different boards are named by their "folder" structure, for lack of a better term. Therefore, the name /b/ comes from its URL: 4chan.org/b/. Pronounced "slash bee" (because the second forward slash is not necessary), /b/ is the "random" board, where anything goes, where anything is the superset of all sets, as in anything. Absolutely. Anything. As in, going more than two seconds without seeing pornographic content or hateful slurs is almost unheard of. /b/ is also the one that gets the most publicity, because it has started most of the {{w|meme}}s [http://knowyourmeme.com/] on the Internet, as well as the birthplace of {{w|Anonymous (group)|Anonymous}}. The chaotic nature of the forums explains why the title text suggests that the reporter isn't safe, even though he is wearing a helmet. In fact, a goofy helmet like that is liable to get the trolls on him faster than if he didn't have it.

{{w|Ron Paul}} is a man who was a U.S. Representative for Texas at the time. At the time the comic was published, he was running, for the second time, for {{w|President of the United States}}.

A {{w|haberdasher}} is a person who sells small articles of clothing that have been or can be sewed. In modern English, a haberdashery (where a haberdasher would work) is a place that sells hats.

Ron Paul's 2008 presidential campaign did, in fact, use a {{w|blimp}} that was named the {{w|Ron_Paul_presidential_campaign,_2008#Ron_Paul_Blimp|Ron Paul Blimp}}. However, despite their elegant appearance, blimps are not a very fast way to travel.

The images on the /b/ board behind the reporter are:
*[https://youtu.be/ZWwMre0PuTQ "'''A'''yyy"], a common exclamation by the character {{w|Fonzie}} from the TV show ''{{w|Happy Days}}'', usually while giving {{w|Thumb signal|two thumbs up}}.
*{{w|/b/|/'''b'''/}}, the "random" {{w|Internet forum|discussion board}} on 4chan.
*A {{w|Compact disc|'''C'''ompact '''D'''isc}} (or "CD"), a plastic disc for {{w|Optical disc|optical}} {{w|Data storage|data storage}}.
*[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/epic-fail-guy '''E'''pic '''F'''ail '''G'''uy], a {{w|Internet meme|meme}} that originated on 4chan, of a {{w|Stick figure|stick-figure}} character (often wearing a {{w|Guy Fawkes mask}}) who fails at everything he tries.
Together, the initial letters of these items spell out "'''ABCDEFG'''".

The title text states that the second reporter (Tom)'s helmet won't help him, though from what, it is unclear as he himself stated he wasn't sure why he was wearing the helmet.

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[Blondie as a news anchor sitting behind a desk is reading from a paper she holds in her hands. There is a picture of Black Hat on a screen behind her. There is a caption below the picture.]
:Blondie: Breaking news—the President has made a nomination to the new post of Internet Secretary. We know little about the man, shown here.
:Caption: Possibly a haberdasher?

:[Blondie keeps talking over a scene showing her standing with a microphone in front of a water filled moat that has been dug between the road and a house. A small stair up to the house is just on the other side of the moat. Behind her is Cueball with a large TV camera on his shoulder pointing towards her and the house.]
:Blondie (narrating): Attempts to reach the nominee at home were unsuccessful.
:Blondie: What the hell kind of apartment has a moat?

:[Back to Blondie behind her desk, the paper is gone and she leans one arm on the desk. There is no screen behind her.]
:Blondie: To understand the culture from which he came — and which he may soon administer — we sent a reporter to what we're told is the source of that culture.
:Blondie: Tom?

:[This panel is much larger than the three previous panels and partly hidden behind the last. Tom, looking like Cueball with a military helmet with camouflage marks strapped under his chin, holds a large microphone in front of him while standing in front of a large screen. The screen shows with a message board with four picture posts. Each picture has a text to the right but those are unreadable scribbles. The top drawing is of a man with wild hair who holds out his hands with thumbs up. The next is text. Then there is a circle with a smaller circle in the middle and at the bottom what appears to be a Cueball-like man with a fencing mask. Blondie still speaks to him from off-panel left.]
:Tom: I'm coming to you live from the 4chan /b/ board. Despite the tube cloggage, nascent memes are flying fast and furious.
:Blondie (off-panel): Why are you wearing a helmet, Tom?
:Tom: I'm not sure.
:Image with text only: /b/

:[Ponytail is sitting in front of a large control unit using the two levers coming out of it from below two buttons that are again below the lit screen. A voice comes from off-panel left. Above the top of the panels frame there is a frame with a caption:]
:Meanwhile in Ron Paul's blimp.
:Ron Paul (off-panel): Ahoy! What news of the blogs?

:[Zoom out showing Ponytail who has turned around on her office chair away from the controls towards Ron Paul drawn like Cueball but with a cane. She holds up a piece of paper with a small square insert visible at the top. Apart from that it is white.]
:Ponytail: Dr. Paul! The President's named his nominee!
:Ron Paul: It's not me?

:[Ron Paul's blimp is shown from the outside. His voice can be seen coming from the airship. There is text on the blimp, with the four letters after the first written mirrored to spell another word.]
:Ron Paul (from inside the blimp): Wait! I remember that guy from the campaign! He's a notorious troll!
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Back inside the blimp Ron Paul points to Ponytail while his other hand is lifted to his chin. His cane leans against his legs. Ponytail looks at him from her chair, the paper now held in her lap.]
:Ron Paul: They mustn't put him in charge. Quick, call the capitol!

:[Ponytail turns around on her chair towards the controls and takes hold of one of the sticks. Ron Paul has taken the cane in his hand again.]
:Ponytail: Can't, sir. The tubes just went down completely.
:Ron Paul: Blast!

:[Ponytail now holds on to both sticks as Ron Paul lifts his cane up into the air pointing away from her up and right.]
:Ron Paul: Then we'll go ourselves. Full speed ahead!

:[A full view of the blimp hanging in the air to the left over a broad landscape. There seems to be a small lake just in front of the blimp. The horizon is shown all along this full width panel and after the lake there are five small mountain peaks, two behind the three in front. After the last of these there follows one more peak and a small mound. Features are shown on the ground. In the air in front of the blimp there are a small cloud inside the panel at the end of the lake, and a large cloud breaking the upper frame over the end of the five mountain stretching over the next peak and mound.]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely taking the tip clearly over the lake. Beat panel #1]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely again. Beat panel #2]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image but now the two speak from within the blimp. The blimp has again advanced minutely so the gondola below the blimp is now also almost at the edge of the lake..]
:Ron Paul: I said full speed!
:Ponytail: It's a blimp, sir!
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|02]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]] 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:News anchor]]
[[Category:Airships]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Politics]]

494: Secretary: Part 1

2021-08-02T13:01:14Z

Alcazar84: grammar edits

{{comic
| number = 494
| date = October 27, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 1
| image = secretary part 1.png
| titletext = The blueprints for the Department of the Internet offices call for Ceiling Cat-themed sprinkler heads.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|POTUS|President of the United States of America}} is the chief executive of the United States of America.{{Citation needed}} Since this comic was released in October 2008 and the presidential election was in November, it was then unknown which of the candidates would become president by the time the comic was set (Spring 2009). This is why the president in the comic is out-of-panel and therefore not revealed to us. As it would turn out, the president inaugurated in January 2009 was Barack Obama, who has gone on to demonstrate a tactical use of the Internet (including the more frivolous aspects of it) for public relations purposes. The suppositional president in the comic is less savvy.

The tubes being clogged is a reference to the, now deceased, Alaska Senator {{w|Ted Stevens}} who, during a congressional debate on {{w|net neutrality}}, described the {{w|Internet}} as a {{w|series of tubes}} (be sure to listen to the audio clips in that Wikipedia page, and you'll see why he became a big hit with the Internet). Ted Stevens also gained notoriety for backing a proposal to build a {{w|Gravina Island Bridge|bridge to nowhere}} using federal funds. The question "What are they a-Twitter about now?" refers to the website {{w|Twitter}}, which is a microblogging and social networking site.

Cats are notorious for being hard to herd, thus the idiom "herding cats," meaning an extremely difficult task that can very quickly get away from anyone undertaking it. {{w|Lolcats}} are pictures of cats, usually in humorous poses, that have insipid captions on them. The conflation of lolcats and the herding idiom escaped the president (who is presumably somebody not familiar with the former term). The title text refers to {{w|Lolcats#Ceiling Cat and Basement Cat|Ceiling Cat}}, a lolcat parody of God.

As with cats, Bloggers are an ideologically diverse bunch, and they are hard to get to go in a single direction.

The proposed "Secretary of the Internet" would likely be a new position on the President's {{w|Cabinet of the United States|Cabinet}}, which currently consists of the heads of 15 executive departments and are, with the one exception of the Attorney General (who heads the Department of Justice), titled "Secretary of ''Department''."

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:Spring 2009— The new president faces a crisis...
:[Cueball is talking to an unseen Mr. President, who is sitting behind a desk.]
:Cueball: Mr. President, the bloggers are restless.
:Mr. President: What are they a-twitter about now?

:Cueball: It's the tubes sir. They're clogged. We put too much stuff on them.

:Mr. President: How bad is it?
:Cueball: The internet could be inoperative within days.

:Cueball: We can't let a crucial resource go unshepherded.
:Mr. President: Go on.

:Cueball: I recommend you appoint a Secretary of the internet. Someone to impose some orders on this mess.

:Mr. President: Ordering bloggers around? Doesn't sound easy.
:Cueball: No; it's like herding lolcats.
:Mr. President: What?
:Cueball: Nothing.

:Mr. President: Do you have someone in mind for the post?
:Cueball: I know just the guy.

:Soon:
:Phone: ''Ring''
:[Black Hat looks away from his computer at the ringing phone.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|01]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Internet]]