explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1957: 2018 CVE List

2026-05-15T02:29:05Z

Ardub: /* Explanation */ Link to 424, which has a similar list of vulnerabilities

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures|CVE}} (Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures) is a standardized format for assigning an identity to a cybersecurity vulnerability (similar to the way that astronomical bodies are assigned unique identifiers by committees). Giving vulnerabilities a unique identifier makes them easier to talk about and helps in keeping track of the progress made toward resolving them. The typical format of a CVE identifier is '''CVE-[YEAR]-[NUMBER]'''. For example, the CVE identifier for 2017's widespread {{w|Meltdown (security vulnerability)|Meltdown vulnerability}} is [https://cve.mitre.org/cgi-bin/cvename.cgi?name=CVE-2017-5754 CVE-2017-5754]. CVEs also contain a short description of the issue.

In this comic (released in February 2018), Randall presents a number of spurious predicted CVEs for later in 2018. Each CVE identifier is given as "CVE-2018-?????", reflecting the fact that they have not yet happened so we don't know exactly what their CVE identifier will be. A similar list of tech vulnerabilities appeared in [[424: Security Holes]]. Randall has previously referenced diacritics in [[1647: Diacritics]]. Bruce Schneier was previously mentioned in the title texts of [[748: Worst-Case Scenario]] and [[1039: RuBisCO]]. Here are short descriptions of all the vulnerabilities mentioned in the comic:

;Apple products crash when displaying certain {{w|Telugu language|Telugu}} or {{w|Bengali language|Bengali}} letter combinations.
:This refers to a [https://techcrunch.com/2018/02/15/iphone-text-bomb-ios-mac-crash-apple/ real vulnerability] in iOS and MacOS publicized a few days before the comic was released, as well as [https://thenextweb.com/apps/2017/01/18/iphone-ipad-apple-text-ios-bug/ past] [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2018/01/18/apple-text-bomb-can-crash-iphones-single-message/ similar] iOS vulnerabilities.
;An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit [''sic''] a race condition in {{w|Garbage collection (computer science)|garbage collection}} to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
:The reference to using a Timing Attack to exploit a race condition in garbage collection refers to Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws that can be exploited in a cloud server like the ones in Wikipedia. {{w|Claude Shannon}} was an early and highly influential information scientist whose work underlies compression, encryption, security, and the theory behind how information is encoded into binary digits.
:
:This is not a security problem, since Wikipedia articles are public. However, since Shannon formulated how the amount of unique or actual information some entity contains is proportional to the number of bits required to encode it, retrieving only a few bits casts a dark perspective upon the significance of the Shannon article's content.
;At the cafe on Third Street, the Post-it note with the WiFi password is visible from the sidewalk.
:Cafés often offer free access to WiFi as a service to patrons, as a business strategy to encourage said patrons to remain in the building and buy more coffee. Some use a password, so that only patrons can use the WiFi, and may display the password on signage inside. Since anybody could go into the cafe to read the post-it, and then use the network from nearby, the ability to read it from outside is, at most, a trivial problem. For systems that are supposed to be secure, writing passwords in a visible place is a major security flaw. For instance, following the [[wikipedia:2018 Hawaii false missile alert|2018 Hawaii false missile alert]] (see [[Hawaii]]), the agency concerned received criticism for a press photo showing [https://www.businessinsider.com/hawaii-emergency-agency-password-discovered-in-photo-sparks-security-criticism-2018-1?r=US&IR=T a password written on a sticky note] attached to a monitor.
;A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
:Describes a common feature on news sites or social media sites like Facebook. The possibility for users to "inject" text into the page is by design. This is a humorous reference to the relatively common security vulnerability "[[Wikipedia:Cross-site_scripting|persistent cross-site scripting]]", where input provided by a user, such as through a comment section, can result in dangerous content containing arbitrary HTML or JavaScript code being displayed to other users.
;MySQL server 5.5.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
:Some people pronounce "{{w|SQL}}" like "sequel", after SQL's predecessor "SEQUEL (Structured English Query Language)". The standard for SQL suggests that it should be pronounced as separate letters; however, the author of SQL pronounces it "sequel", so the debate persists (with even <s>more</s> <s>less</s> <s>more</s> <s>less</s> <s>MORE</s> justification than arguments about how to pronounce "GIF"{{Citation needed}}). MySQL is an free relational database management system. The latest generally available version (at the time of writing) is MySQL 8.0.44.
;A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
:{{w|Privilege escalation}} refers to any illegitimate means by which a system user gains greater access privileges than they are supposed to have. The most highly-sought privilege is that of the root user, which allows complete access to an entire system— a ''superuser''. Any flaw that would allow an ordinary user to escalate to superuser status is a critical security threat, as they then have full control of the machine. This is what most crackers seek to achieve when attacking a device.
:
:This CVE presents the less-threatening reverse situation: allowing a root user to ''de-escalate'' to normal account privileges. In fact, root users can already do this at any time; superuser privileges allow them to take control of any user account, so they can simply switch to an account which has fewer privileges than the root user.
:
:It is possible to interpret this CVE in a manner that presents a real problem (if the ''only'' root user does this and the de-escalation is permanent, there will be no more users with root permissions), though that would more likely be considered a serious bug rather than a CVE.
;Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
:This is a reference to a common problem of modern gadgets catching fire (usually related to flaws in lithium-ion batteries), as well as to Apple products crashing when attempting to display certain character sequences. Diacritics are the accents found on letters in some languages, for example the German {{w|Umlaut_(diacritic)|umlaut}} (ü) or the French {{w|cedilla}} (ç). They usually indicate a change to how the letter is pronounced. Diacritics are not normally found on emojis,{{Citation needed}} but since emojis are part of the widely-used {{w|Unicode}} standard which also allows for combining diacritics, it is in fact possible to combine the two to create a diacritical emoji. 🔥̃ is such an example.
:"Emoji diacritics" may also refer to invisible characters that are used to change the gender or skin color of emoji characters.
;An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
:This probably refers to the movie ''{{w|Air Bud}}'', about a dog playing basketball. This has been a common theme in xkcd comics: see [[115: Meerkat]], [[1439: Rack Unit]], [[1819: Sweet 16]], [[1552: Rulebook]].
:In 2017, it was discovered that an oversight in the constitution of the state of Kansas may [http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article175956836.html permit a dog to be governor]. Shortly before this comic published, the Secretary of State's office ruled that [http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2018/02/13/dog-kansas-governor/ it could not].
;Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
:{{w|Haskell (programming language)|Haskell}} is a functional programming language. Functional programming is characterized by using functions that don't have side effects because they can not change things accessible in other parts of the program, as in [[1312: Haskell]]. The joke here is discovering that it does indeed have side-effects, manifested via external alteration, not violating the internal alteration paradigm. It may also be a reference to "{{w|The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas}}," a short story by Ursula Le Guin in which a utopian city concentrates all its misery into one child who is locked away in a basement.
;Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
:[[wikipedia:Hypervisor|"Hypervisors"]] are a tool for computer virtualization. Virtualization is implemented via various combinations of hardware and/or software, which requires a computer to completely simulate another computer, with its own unique hardware and software, and to varying degrees as to whether or not the virtualization is aware of or can determine whether it is being virtualized. Many IT professionals and businesses rely heavily on various forms of virtualization, but most of the individual employees would be hard-pressed to explain how it works. Programs running on other virtual computers, or on the real computer, may be able to access information on a virtual computer in ways which would not be possible with a single real computer. Consequently, understanding how the hypervisor works is important to assessing the security of a virtual server. Meltdown and Spectre are related to this.
;Critical: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
:The humor from this CVE comes from the fact that, despite being marked as critical, it is a difficult-to-achieve exploit for a minor effect. {{w|IBM System/390 ES/9000 Enterprise Systems Architecture ESA family|System/390}} is an IBM mainframe introduced almost 30 years before this comic. Version 3.14.8 of the Linux kernel was released in June of 2014, four years before the comic. UTC+14 is a time zone used only on some islands in the Pacific Ocean (Primarily [[Wikipedia:Line_Islands|the Line Islands]]) and is also the earliest time zone on Earth. Even if all of these absurd conditions were met, an arcane system running an obsolete version of Linux in an uncommon time zone, the resulting vulnerability would still be relatively benign: simply changing a user's preferred clock display format. Other xkcd comics make references to such obscure computer-time issues relating to time zones and time conversions, and how many programmers find these issues frustrating or even traumatizing.
;x86 has way too many instructions.
:The x86 architecture (used in many Intel and AMD processors) is very complicated.{{Citation needed}} Processors typically implement such a complex architecture using programs (microcode) run on a set of hidden, proprietary processors. The details of these hidden machines and errors in the microcode can result in security vulnerabilities, such as Meltdown, where the physical machine does not match the conceptual machine.
:
:A more complicated instruction set is more complex to implement.{{Citation needed}} The x86 architecture is considered "CISC" (a "{{w|Complex instruction set computer}}"), having many instructions originally provided to make programming by a human simpler; other examples include the 68000 series used in the first {{w|Apple Macintosh}}. In the 1980s, this design philosophy was countered by the "RISC" ("{{w|Reduced instruction set computer}}") design movement - based on the observation that computer programs were increasingly generated by compilers (which only used a few instructions) rather than directly by people, and that the chip area dedicated to extra instructions could be better dedicated to, for example, cache. Examples of RISC style designs include {{w|SPARC}}, {{w|MIPS}}, {{w|PowerPC}} (used by Apple in later Macintoshes) and the {{w|ARM architecture|ARM}} chips common in mobile phones. Historically, there was considerable discussion about the merits of each approach. At one time the Mac and Windows PC were on different sides; owners of other competing systems such as the Archimedes and Amiga had similar arguments on usenet in the early 1990s. This "issue" may be posted by someone who still recalls these debates. Technically, the extra instructions do slightly complicate the task of validating correct chip behavior and complicate the tool chains that manage software, which could be seen as a minor security risk. However, the 64-bit architecture introduced by {{w|AMD}}, and since adopted by {{w|Intel}}, does rationalize things somewhat, and all recent x86 chips break down instructions into RISC-like micro-operations, so the complication from a hardware perspective is localized. Recent security issues, such as the speculative cache load issue in Meltdown and Spectre, depend more on details of implementation, rather than instruction set, and have been exhibited both by x86 (CISC) and ARM (RISC) processors.
;NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in ''O''(log ''n'') time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
:Fantastically, this would be an unimaginable software threat, not to be confused with the even speedier, but future-bound, threat in hardware via {{w|Quantum computing}}.
:NumPy is the fundamental package for scientific computing with the programming language Python. ''O''(log ''n'') is [[wikipedia:Big_O_notation#Infinite_asymptotics|Big O notation]] meaning that the time it takes for a computer algorithm to run is in the order of log ''n'', for an input of size ''n''. ''O''(log ''n'') is very fast and is more usual for a search algorithm. Prime factorization currently is ''O''(''2''''n''n)). If something can find the prime factors of a number this quickly, especially a [[wikipedia:semiprime|semiprime]] with two large factors, it will enable attacks to break many crypto functions used in internet security. However, prime numbers have only a single factor, and "factoring primes" quickly is a simpler problem, that of [[wikipedia:Primality test|proving that a number is in fact a prime]].
;Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
:Another joke on the first CVE and [[wikipedia:I before E except after C|a common English writing rule of thumb]], which fails almost as often as it succeeds. Possibly a jab at Apple's image, portraying their software as unable to handle improper grammar or spelling.
;Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
:Skylake x86 chips are a line of microprocessors made by Intel. Some processors are soldered directly to a system board or daughter board, while others are attached to boards that plug into the system board by means of a socket (pins or connectors that make physical contact with receptacles or connectors on a system board). Some sockets, especially older ones, require force to insert or remove, and often require the use of a flat blade screwdriver or a specialized tool, but most modern ones use ZIF (Zero Insertion Force) techniques, often involving a lever or similar to tighten or loosen the friction/tightness of the contacts. No screwdriver is needed in this case. However, ''any'' processor can be forcefully removed from its socket with a screwdriver.{{Citation needed}}
;Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
:{{w|Linus Torvalds}} is the {{w|benevolent dictator for life}} of the Linux kernel codebase. Normally it is hard to make changes because he has the last word, and because the kernel is replicated in all Linux installations. Linus made the news in January 2018 when, having looked at one of Intel's proposed fixes for the Spectre and Meltdown vulnerabilities, he declared "[https://techcrunch.com/2018/01/22/linus-torvalds-declares-intel-fix-for-meltdown-spectre-complete-and-utter-garbage/ the patches are COMPLETE AND UTTER GARBAGE]". Presumably, it may be found that he may be successfully bribed to be less blunt and/or less critical of vulnerability fixes that are complete and/or utter garbage. If this were the case, this would be a severe critical vulnerability to all Linux servers and machines.
;An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
:The point of an attack is to make someone else's machine perform actions against the owner's will. Anyone can make their own machine execute any code if they have root access and the necessary tools, but this would usually not be described as an attack, except in the case of a locked-down appliance, such as a video game console, a John Deere tractor, or pay TV decoder.
;Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
:This could refer to a CVE vulnerability of JPG files where JavaScript embedded within the image file is executed by some application. In this case, though, the code is visible on the image instead of invisibly encoded within the image file. The code is also only executed if the image contains a photo of a baby in a saddle riding a dog. It's unclear whether the photo would be a digital photo, a printed photo (i.e. as taken using a digital camera), or maybe both.
:Other than by some {{w|metadata}}, either internal to the image file, or embedded along with it, as in a web page, or a PDF or other container file, this "bug" would require the device to {{w|Hard AI|figure out}} specifically what the photo contains image-wise (something that's REALLY HARD for computers to do reliably), but would also require OCR (optical character recognition) code to convert the text superimposed on the photo into executable code. In other words, it's hard to believe in 2018 that such a bug could exist. Maybe in the future when such things are more routine...? As an example, OCR used to be hard to do reliably, but now it's a lot more routine and built into a lot of devices.
;Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
:Adobe Flash has been an integral browser plugin for decades, but has fallen out of favor in the 2010s, and eventually discontinued because of its notoriously abysmal security record. All security experts advise against installing it. Preventing installation of Flash would make systems more secure, but most versions of Windows do not prevent Flash installation (provided, as of 2021, the user still has a copy of the files with which to do so). The joke here relates to the difficulty of keeping Flash up to date, or even installed properly to begin with. A common user experience, which is the subject of numerous jokes and memes, is the constant nagging notification to install or update Flash in order for web pages to display properly. Many IT professionals will bemoan the trouble they have experienced in the workplace due to these notifications and problems related to them.
:In late 2020, Microsoft [https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/help/4577586/update-for-removal-of-adobe-flash-player released an optional Windows update] that removes Flash and prevents users from installing it again.
;Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
:Cloud computing is a system of networked computers wherein the client user's computer can offload some of its work load and storage to the other computers — known as "the cloud." Many businesses offer their networks for consumer use, and can be marketed as "{{w|Platform as a Service}}" ("PaaS") or simply "cloud service." As with any product companies are always tempted to overhype what they offer, promising cloud computing to be more powerful and wondrous than it actually is. Thus, protestors try to remind people what cloud services really are by referring to "the cloud" as "other people's computers." This is, at its core, entirely accurate, taking away the business jargon and simplifying the situation in such a way that it might cast doubt on the security, reliability, and general effectiveness of using "cloud" solutions. In [[908: The Cloud]], it turns out that [[Black Hat]] is the "other people" whose computer ''is'' the Cloud.
;A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[[779|[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]]]
:Mitre's CVE database is where all {{w|Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures|CVEs}} are stored. This log message forms the punchline of the comic, as it implies that all of the exaggerated error messages above might have been inserted by crackers exploiting the vulnerability. To pour salt in the wound, they then included in a typical spam link purporting to offer inexpensive {{w|Viagra|brand-name Sildenafil}}.
;It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
:Appears in the title text. {{w|Bruce Schneier}} is security researcher and blogger. The "two kids in a trenchcoat" is a reference to the {{tvtropes|TotemPoleTrench|Totem Pole Trench}} trope. Shortly before this comic was posted, a [https://rare.us/rare-humor/two-kids-dressed-as-a-tall-man-to-get-into-black-panther-is-caught-on-video story went viral] in which two kids were photographed attempting this for real to get into a screening of ''Black Panther''.

==Transcript==
:[A heading is centered above a list of 21 vulnerabilities]
:<big>Leaked list of major 2018 security vulnerabilities </big>

:CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
:CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
:CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on Third Street, the Post-it note with the WiFi password is visible from the sidewalk.
:CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
:CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 5.5.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
:CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
:CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
:CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
:CVE-2018-????? Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
:CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
:CVE-2018-????? Critical: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
:CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.
:CVE-2018-????? NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in ''O''(log ''n'') time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
:CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
:CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
:CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
:CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
:CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
:CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
:CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
:CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~Click here for cheap viagra~~]

==Trivia==
The word "exploit" in the second line is misspelled. This hasn't been fixed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:iOS]]
[[Category:Emoji]]

424: Security Holes

2026-05-15T02:24:11Z

Ardub: /* Explanation */ Link to 1957, which has a similar theme

{{comic
| number = 424
| date = May 16, 2008
| title = Security Holes
| image = security_holes.png
| titletext = True story: I had to try several times to upload this comic because my ssh key was blacklisted.
}}

==Explanation==
The "Debian-OpenSSL fiasco" was a major security problem discovered in the {{w|Debian}} {{w|Linux distribution}} and its version of the {{w|Cryptography|cryptographic}} library called {{w|OpenSSL}}. With just a tiny change in the software, which was intended to have no effect on security, its {{w|Random number generation|random number generator}} was completely crippled, as was the security of all cryptographic keys generated by the system. The problem was created when a Debian developer removed one line of code that was crucial, even though it could seem like it did nothing useful. More detail about the fiasco: [http://trailofbits.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/hope-08-openssl.pdf ''Crippling Crypto: The Debian OpenSSL Debacle''], [http://wiki.debian.org/SSLkeys Debian's information page about the problem].

The title text refers also to this issue: After the security problem was found, all cryptographic keys generated or used on the broken operating system needed to be replaced. Many systems introduced special checks for such weak keys, adding the keys to {{w|Blacklisting|blacklists}}, thereby preventing their use and forcing users to create new keys. [[Randall]] claims that he was affected by that when uploading this comic to the server.

The panels on the left present Cueball as a programmer who, on a whim, removes pieces of code, ([[156: Commented|commenting out]] the code by prepending the line with two slashes), presumably thinking that they are not necessary. The first removed line, <code>MD_update(&m, buf, j);</code>, is the exact piece of code that [https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2008/05/random_number_b.html was removed] in the Debian fiasco. The next panels show him commenting out fictitious lines of code apparently preventing bad things from happening.

The other part of the comic lists "security problems" that were allegedly discovered in other Linux variants afterwards:

Cryptographic software in {{w|Fedora Core}} was allegedly not secure against {{w|Secret decoder ring|toy decoder rings}}. This is probably a reference to the association of the {{w|Fedora|fedora}} with 1930s and 40s culture (especially {{w|Gangster|gangsters}} and {{w|Film noir|film noir}}), and the contemporaneous introduction and popularity of toy decoder rings.

{{w|Xandros}} (used in {{w|Asus Eee PC}} netbooks) gave superuser privileges to anybody "if asked in a stern voice." This is likely a reference to the fact that the preinstalled Xandros OS did not require a password for root privileges by default.

{{w|Gentoo}} would succumb to flattery, which may be a reference to Gentoo's notorious difficulty to manage. Any user who is capable of understanding it might have a large ego, and therefore be susceptible to flattery.

{{w|One Laptop per Child|OLPC}} OS could have been attacked using {{w|Jeff Goldblum}}'s laptop computer, which refers to a scene in the {{w|Independence Day (film)|''Independence Day'' movie}}, where Jeff Goldblum's character was able to hack into an alien spaceship using his Apple {{w|PowerBook}} computer - which is a topic of [http://www.cracked.com/article_18720_7-famous-movie-flaws-that-were-explained-in-deleted-scenes.html great contempt] by geeks who point to the absurdity of such a construction.

{{w|Slackware}} gave superuser privileges to anybody who "says Elvish word for 'friend'," which refers to a scene in ''{{w|The Lord of the Rings}}'', where the entrance door to {{w|Moria}} could have been opened using a password ''mellon'', the Elvish word for "friend," as indicated on the door itself. Another reference to this is in [[1218: Doors of Durin]].

And {{w|Ubuntu}}, which is another Linux distribution, was allegedly found to be actually {{w|Windows Vista}}, the latest version of {{w|Microsoft Windows}} at this time in 2008. This may be a reference to Ubuntu being developed with non-advanced users in mind, with many fail-safes and additional features being turned on by default, which had more in common with Windows than any other Linux-based operating system at the time.

A similar list of humorous tech vulnerabilities is found in [[1957: 2018 CVE List]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sitting at computer.]
:Cueball: I'll just comment out these lines...

:<code>// MD_update(&m, buf, j);</code>

:<code>// do_not_crash();</code>

:<code>// prevent_911();</code>

:In the rush to clean up the debian-openssl fiasco, a number of other major security holes have been uncovered:

:[A two-column table is shown:]

:;Affected System
::Security problem

----

:;Fedora Core
::Vulnerable to certain decoder rings

:;Xandros (EEE PC)
::Gives root access if asked in a stern voice

:;Gentoo
::Vulnerable to flattery

:;OLPC OS
:: Vulnerable to Jeff Goldblum’s PowerBook

:;Slackware
::Gives root access if user says Elvish word for “friend”

:;Ubuntu
::Turns out distro is actually just Windows Vista with a few custom themes

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Cryptography]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]

3103: Exoplanet System

2026-02-27T06:39:53Z

Ardub: /* Explanation */ Added link to 2202

{{comic
| number = 3103
| date = June 16, 2025
| title = Exoplanet System
| image = exoplanet_system_2x.png
| imagesize = 623x447px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Sure, this exoplanet we discovered may seem hostile to life, but our calculations suggest it's actually in the accretion disc's habitable zone.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Exoplanet}}s are planets outside the Sun's {{w|Solar System}}. As astronomers discover more and more of these, they are finding all kinds of weird and unexpected examples, often with unusual and interesting physical properties, necessitating the introduction of new categorisations to describe them. Here, [[Randall]] presents a depiction of a hypothetical star system containing many exoplanets of different exotic types. Most of these are entirely imaginary, and some are outright nonsensical.

A number of the planet descriptions reference the potential habitability. This attracts a lot of attention, particularly in the media and popular imagination, both because it suggests a higher potential for finding extraterrestrial life of a form we might more easily recognise, and because such planets might potentially be examined as candidates for future {{w|space colonization}}. Unfortunately, for many hopefuls, there are a number of specific conditions required for Earth life to survive, and there are many possible ways for space to be inhospitable to life. As a result, most exoplanets that have been discovered have conditions that make it nearly impossible for humans to survive, and difficult for any life form as we know it to exist. The examples here illustrate (in an exaggerated fashion) some of the many frustrations astronomers face when analyzing planets and getting their hopes up, only to discover the planets they found are, sadly, nothing like Earth.

There are a total of 19 planets in the comic. Here are the explanations for each planet, in order of how far they are from the star:

;  Giant planet orbiting so close that it's actually rolling on the star's surface
: {{w|Giant planet}}s are observed to be gravitationally pulled close to their star (see ''Hot Jupiter'', below). Here, such a process has progressed until the planet is literally touching the star, which would likely put it inside the star's {{w|Roche limit}} and cause the planet to disintegrate. Even if the planet stayed intact, the star has no solid surface to roll on.

;  Hot Jupiter
: A {{w|Hot Jupiter}} is typical terminology used in analyzing exoplanets, generally depicting a {{w|gas giant}} (of a size similar to our {{w|Jupiter}} or {{w|Saturn}}) which orbits in a much closer/hotter orbit than our own. Hot Jupiters are easier to detect than many other types of exoplanets, due to both their gravitational effect on their stars (creating larger and/or more frequent wobbles, compared to any smaller and/or more distant planets) and their vastly more significant dimming effect on their host star's light (obscuring a greater quantity, if they happen to {{w|Astronomical transit|pass in front of it}}, than would any smaller body).
:We know of our own two 'not-hot Jupiters', and various other planets, ''despite'' their relative undetectability across interstellar space. Most were observed directly (and a majority of those were first detected by the {{w|Human eye|Mark-I Eyeball}}, over millennia), with coincidental celestial alignments and their gravitational effects upon the Sun being far less obvious. Studies {{w|Jupiter#Formation and migration|suggest that}} planets may change their orbits over time, on timescales too long to easily observe directly, so we can somewhat account for the existance and prevalence of Hot Jupiters, given that the stars ''currently'' with more tightly orbiting Jupiter-mass planets are more likely to be confirmed as such. Whether they are anything like as common and significant as initial observational counts suggest, and thus what the 'typical temperature' of any given Jupiter-like might be (including whether our own system's distribution of planetary sizes and distances is common or rare) is therefore a question that remains open for the time-being, our more local assessment of gas-giant warmth aside.

;  Planet that may actually be in the habitable zone, according to a very optimistic modeling paper by some desperate postdocs
: The {{w|habitable zone}} of a star is the range at which water is liquid. Notably, planets in the habitable zone are seen as options for colonization by humanity, which would mean greater funding for research. As such, researchers will go to great lengths to determine as many habitable planets as they can.

;  There's a pulsar here but it's probably fine
: A {{w|pulsar}} is a {{w|neutron star}} which emits beams of radiation while spinning very fast. This means that this system is technically a {{w|binary star}}. The mass of a neutron star, this close to the visible star, means that any planets could not be simply in orbit around the latter. In addition to the {{w|gravitational instability}} this would produce, the intensity of the radiation and excess heat from the pulsar would make it extremely difficult for any form of life to exist in the system. Also, neutron stars are remnants of a {{w|Supernova}} explosion, an event which is likely to sterilize, eject, or outright destroy any planets exposed to it. All of this lends a substantial level of irony to the "probably fine" comment.

;  A waterworld paradise with beautiful oceans and warm— wait, no, we just got new measurements, it's a hellish steam oven
: In any scientific field, new information may turn previously established knowledge on its head. Exoplanet research is no different, and a planet that at first seems to be habitable might turn out to be an incredibly deadly {{w|steam world}}. An example of this can be found in our own solar system with {{w|Venus}}, which was known to have clouds as early as the 1700s and was speculated to be habitable — but later, in the 1960s, those clouds were found to be made of steaming hot {{w|sulfuric acid}}.

;  Planet that could be habitable, if there's a form of life that hates water but loves acid and being on fire
: Scientists remain open to the possibility that life might form from different conditions than those found on Earth. That said, the speculation that life on this planet must "love acid and being on fire" is more than a little sarcastic. Possibly to a reference to the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'', in which Randall points out that the atmosphere on Venus is pretty survivable at 55km, except for the sulfuric acid, and way too hot at the surface.
: A similarly hostile planet is the topic of [[2202: Earth-Like Exoplanet]].

;  Mini Neptune
: As with "Jupiter" being used for the family of larger gas-giants, "Neptune" is often used to describe those with rough size/mass categories similar to our own not-quite-so-giant examples of {{w|Neptune}} and {{w|Uranus}} — sometimes instead termed "ice giants", though superficially they are still as gaseous. To call something a {{w|mini-Neptune}} would make it significantly smaller than Neptune, possibly small enough to not properly be any kind of 'giant' at all (perhaps instead transitioning into the nominal {{w|super-Earth}} class, but still with a substantial atmosphere), making the comparison to it even less accurate.

;  Lukewarm Jupiter
: A humorous interpolation of the "Hot Jupiter" vs. 'normal'-Jupiter scale, producing a finer distinction between 'types' of Jupiter. The French Wikipedia has {{w|fr:Jupiter tiède|an article on "warm Jupiters"}}, indicating that it isn't an entirely unknown concept. "Lukewarm", however, still stands as vague, ill-defined and unrigorous as a description, as is often deliberately invoked for xkcd.

;  Planet whose atmosphere is confirmed to contain atoms
: With interstellar distances, it is inevitable that some planets will be hard to get a read on. Here, the astronomers can only confirm the planet has an atmosphere, not what it is made of, or perhaps even how extensive it is. If it has an atmosphere at all, there are very few options ''except'' for it to be composed of atoms.
:Possibly in reference to headlines about exoplanets whose atmospheres contain molecules that may indicate biological life, but extrapolated to comedic levels of vagueness. A similar 'too cautious' approach to the data can be seen in [[2359: Evidence of Alien Life]].

;  Earthlike data artifact
: An {{w|Artifact (error)|artifact}} in this context is any error where it looks like something exists when it actually doesn't. This may be caused by faults in the equipment, or by other activity that looks similar to a planet signal. In this case the astronomers thought they detected an {{w|Earth-like planet}}, only to discover it was a data artifact. There have been several such cases already, for example {{w|Gliese 581g}}, which was considered to be the most Earthlike planet discovered at the time, before more detailed analysis concluded it didn't exist. Either that, or it has turned out that {{w|Simulation hypothesis|Earth itself is a data artifact}}, which would raise {{w|Epistemology|epistemological}} questions about the whole endeavour of studying the universe.

;  Cold Jupiter
: Implicitly the opposite of a "Hot Jupiter", as described above. Used here as another extension of the "''<temperature>'' Jupiter" running gag, "Cold Jupiter" is occasionally used in real astronomy (usually to describe our own type of 'non-hot' Jupiter, rather than an explicitly colder-still version), but is fairly informal and used mainly to directly deliniate against the Hot variety. The French Wikipedia also has {{w|fr:Jupiter froid|an article on cold Jupiters}}.

;  Potentially habitable void
: It seems that the part of this system that would be ideal for habitable planetary conditions does not actually contain any planets. This would make it much harder to actually inhabit (the notional inhabitants would have to build a world to live on, and would have nowhere to easily locate themselves while the building was in progress), to the implied frustration of the astronomers. Confusingly, the illustration of the void is as a patch that crosses several of the planetary orbits. Since it cannot remain a void if a planet passes through it, this suggests it is an object (or rather a lack of objects) that orbits in its own right. This is not normally how habitable zones work — they are usually a span of potential orbits, forming a {{w|Annulus (mathematics)|ring}} (or {{w|Spherical shell|shell}}) around the star. Additionally, this region is positioned right between Cold Jupiter and Hot Mars, implying that it is in between hot and cold, and between gaseous and rocky, being closer to Earth conditions.

;  Hot Mars
: Continuing the joke regarding Hot Jupiters. This assumes that if there's hot Jupiters, there must be a "hot" variant of every planet, including {{w|Mars}}.

;  Faint dust cloud that will cause several papers to be retracted
: This is in reference to the {{w|astronomical transit}} method of discovering planets by measuring periodic dips in brightness of the central star, done by missions like the {{w|Kepler space telescope}}. It turns out that not all variations in brightness are caused by planets, much to the disappointment of overeager data analysts and science news reporters; see, for example, {{w|Fomalhaut b}}, a former proposed exoplanet that turned out to be a dust cloud, or {{w|Tabby's Star}}, a star with odd irregular dimming pattern likely due to a dust cloud which was briefly thought by some to be an alien megastructure.

;  Either a gas giant or a fist-sized rock, depending upon which calibration method you use
: Scientific instruments, including telescopes, must be calibrated in various ways, and different calibration methods can lead to different corrections applied to raw data and hence different values for calibrated data. This is exaggerated in the comic to make a raw observation emerge from the calibration correction process as two objects of vastly different size - a range of uncertainty between tens of thousands of kilometers and a few centimeters, perhaps nine orders of magnitude. This is not particularly precise, even for a [[2205: Types of Approximation|cosmologist]]. Also, a "fist-sized rock" would be impossible to detect around a distant star using current technology; it would be difficult to spot {{w|Russell's teapot|something of this size}} around {{w|Sun|''our own'' star}}.

;  Mini Pluto
: In line with the Mini Neptune, above. {{w|Pluto}} is already significantly smaller than all other acknowledged planets (and even seven moons). Thus, in part, its redesignation as a "{{w|dwarf planet}}" — of which, it is not even {{w|Eris (dwarf planet)|the most massive}} known. A "mini Pluto" suggests an exoplanet that shares most of Pluto's features, but is somehow ''even smaller''. But presumably bigger than the above "fist-sized rock".

;  Wet Saturn
: A further spin on the "''<adjective> <planet>''" theme. May be a reference to the 'fact' that "Saturn would float in water" {{w|Saturn#Physical characteristics|due to its overall density}}. The difficulty of finding a practical way to test this notwithstanding, perhaps someone managed it with this planet. Alternatively, this is a Saturn-like planet that somehow has liquid surface water rather than predominantly atmospheric, or features a higher than expected proportion of continually recondensing water vapour.

;  Planet whose surface may host conditions suitable for rocks
: As with the above planet whose atmosphere "contains atoms," this planet is too difficult to get a read on, and the measurements are still so vague that it's unknown whether this planet is a rocky planet or a gas/{{w|ice giant}}. This is also a play on the holy grail of exo-planet research — finding a planet whose surface hosts conditions suitable for ''life''. It's not impossible that that would involve [https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Horta living rocks], but that would impose a {{w|Hypothetical types of biochemistry#Silicon biochemistry|different set of environmental restrictions}} from those for the carbon-based life we're familiar with. Seven months after this comic was posted, The Onion published an article titled [https://theonion.com/nasa-discovers-distant-planet-with-conditions-that-could-sustain-rocks/ "NASA Discovers Distant Planet With Conditions That Could Sustain Rocks"].

;  Somehow this whole system is smaller than the orbit of Mercury?!
: No planet, or anything other than an orbital path, shown. But apparently an indicator that all the rest of the given orbits (for Jupiter-likes, Mars-likes, dust clouds, etc., and even semi-inconvenient pulsars) exist within a planetary system that is ''extremely'' compact, fitting into a volume of space the size of that between our Sun and the orbit of its nearest planet, {{w|Mercury}}.
: This is likely a reference to the fact that many exoplanets located so far have been in even tighter orbits around their star than Mercury is with the Sun. It is worth noting, however, that this is likely to be observational bias, as large and tightly orbiting planets have a significantly larger (and hence easier to identify) effect on their parent star. There are likely many small and more distantly orbiting exoplanets that we are simply unable to observe effectively at this time.
: This is also likely a reference to the fact that the majority of stars in our galaxy are red dwarf stars, which are much cooler and dimmer than our Sun. This means that the habitable zone, and a suitably wide range of solar irradiance, can be found within a smaller radius of the star.
: A popular subject of xkcd, the [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]]/Serenity series has a [https://firefly.fandom.com/wiki/The_Verse fictional setting] that is ''also'' purportedly compact (by Earth's system's standards), featuring many worlds (and multiple stars, though none of them pulsars) within 'easy' in-system travelling distances for narrative purposes. Some minor inspiration may have been derived from this, though no overtly direct references appear.

; Title text
: The title text mentions a planet within an {{w|accretion disk}}, which means that the planet is passing through material inspiraling into some significantly more massive object and is likely inspiraling itself from resistive effects of passing through said material. Nevertheless, the researcher speaking assures us that the planet is in the disk's habitable zone, implying it is a worthwhile option for colonization. This is despite the observed location being likely temporary as the planet's orbit inspirals closer and closer to the central object, to say nothing of the likely constant bombardment of debris and potential radiation depending on how massive the central object is and how dense the accretion disk is.

:Alternatively, the accretion disk in question might be a very compact and hot one, such as those found around some {{w|black hole}}s, which glows brightly enough to illuminate its surroundings like a star and has a habitable zone safely outside the disk itself.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript | make little more descriptive}}
:[Title:]

:Typical exoplanet system

:[Central diagram showing a star with various planets and objects orbiting around it, with trajectories connected by dotted lines and labels and descriptions by solid lines:]

:[Label pointing to a large planet with strips and a dot near the center close to the center:]

:Giant planet orbiting so close that it's actually rolling on the star's surface

:[Label pointing to a small object with several large bulged spots near the star:]

:Hot Jupiter

:[Label pointing to a small object with strips on side:]

:Mini Neptune

:[Label pointing to a featureless round planet in the middle distance:]

:Planet that could be habitable, if there's a form of life that hates water but loves acid and being on fire

:[Label pointing to another object with strips and a dot close to the center:]

:Cold Jupiter

:[Label inside a bounded curvy area:]

:Potentially habitable void

:[Label pointing to another planet with dots:]

:Hot Mars

:[Label pointing to a featureless round planet:]

:Planet that may actually be in the habitable zone, according to a very optimistic modeling paper by some desperate postdocs

:[Label pointing to a medium-sized object with two sets of spreading out rays coming out. There is also an outline that is slightly dotted:]

:There's a pulsar here but it's probably fine

:[Label pointing to another small featureless round planet:]

:A waterworld paradise with beautiful oceans and warm - wait, no, we just got new measurements, it's a hellish steam oven

:[Label pointing to a tiny planet:]

:Mini Pluto

:[Label pointing to another object:]

:Lukewarm Jupiter

:[Label pointing to a planet with a line in the middle:]

:Planet whose atmosphere is confirmed to contain atoms

:[Label pointing to another object which is partly round but some parts are taken off and the parts are shaped like rectangles:]

:Earthlike data artifact

:[Label pointing to another planet with rings and stripes, but has some small dots near the bottom of the planet and the rings:]

:Wet Saturn

:[Label pointing to another featureless round object:]

:Either a gas giant or a fist-sized rock, depending which calibration method you use

:[Label pointing to a bounded area with dots inside:]

:Faint dust cloud that will cause several papers to be retracted

:[Label pointing to the a dotted line, which is outside:]

:Somehow this whole system is smaller than the orbit of Mercury?!

:[Label pointing to another object:]

:Planet whose surface may host conditions suitable for rocks

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]

2108: Carbonated Beverage Language Map

2026-01-26T02:34:55Z

Ardub: /* Explanation */ The "plus" in names like Water Plus is not a preposition. I don't know if 'suffix' is the very best word, but it's at least accurate.

{{comic
| number = 2108
| date = February 6, 2019
| title = Carbonated Beverage Language Map
| image = carbonated_beverage_language_map.png
| titletext = There's one person in Missouri who says "carbo bev" who the entire rest of the country HATES.
}}

==Explanation==
In the US, people in various parts of the country refer to carbonated beverages by {{w|Names for soft drinks in the United States|different names}} such as "soda", "pop", "coke", and others. Generally, the West Coast and Northeast say "soda", the South says "coke" and the rest of the country says "pop". There are various maps of where these different names are used, including [http://popvssoda.com/ popvssoda.com] and [https://laughingsquid.com/soda-pop-or-coke-maps-of-regional-dialect-variation-in-the-united-states/ this map on Laughing Squid]. Such maps were trending and popular in 2013.

xkcd's map is a satire of those maps – these regional terms are fake. Not only are there far more terms than are actually used by Americans, many are terms for other beverages (mead), unrelated liquids (quicksilver), or trademarked beverage names less popular than {{w|Coca Cola|Coke}}/{{w|Coca Cola}} ({{w|Mountain Dew|Code Red}}) – and in one case, something that's not even tangible ({{w|cryptocurrency|"Crypto"}}).

{| class="wikitable"
|+Map terms (from left to right, approximately)
|-
|{{w|Fanta}}
|Name of a carbonated beverage line, manufactured by Coca-Cola.
|-
|Söde
|Presumably pronounced "soda" but spelled oddly (might be reference to ''{{w|Monty_Python_and_the_Holy_Grail|Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}'' subtitles - "Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?"). Or it could be a {{tvtropes|HeavyMetalUmlaut|Heavy Metal Umlaut}}.
|-
|True Water
|Possibly a reference to Tru Blood, a fictional artificial blood substitute for vampires in ''{{w|The Southern Vampire Mysteries}}'' book series by Charlaine Harris, and the television series ''{{w|True Blood}}''. Also could be a reference to "purified" mineral waters such as {{w|Glaceau Smartwater|Smartwater}}.
|-
|Crypto
|Popularized as a slang term in the late '80s and early '90s to refer to anything involving the act of encryption/decryption through the application of ciphers, a practice which has become practically ubiquitous in the digital age. Given the highlighted region is the Silicon Valley, this is almost certainly a reference to {{w|cryptography}} and/or {{w|cryptocurrency}}. None of these concepts are liquid and therefore not drinkable. Possibly a joke that the residents of Silicon Valley are actually computers that "drink" crypto (i.e. data). Might also reference the fact that it creates bubbles.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|Yum
|Refers to {{w|Yum! Brands}}, parent company of several fast food restaurants, which was spun off from PepsiCo, maker of a carbonated beverage, in 1997, and has a lifetime contract to serve their beverages.
|-
|Sparkle Fluid
|Roughly analogously to how "sparkling wine" and "sparkling cider" are carbonated varieties of wine and cider, "sparkling fluid" or "sparkle fluid" would presumably be any carbonated fluid
|-
|King Cola
|Name of a carbonated beverage.
|-
|{{w|Pepsi}}
|Brand-wide name of a carbonated beverage that (as with the handily single-syllable "Coke" in real-life contexts) clearly extends across all other brands throughout most (see below) the Hawaiian islands.
|-
|{{w|Crystal Pepsi}}
|Sub-brand name of a particular carbonated beverage. Being local to one of the Hawaiian islands (see above) as an even more highly-specific 'generic' name being used for no apparent reason. Its syllable count makes it no more convenient to say than most other brand names and even many sub-varieties, directly.
|-
|Ichor
|Several definitions: blood of a god, or demon, or, in some dialects, any insect; or watery discharge from a wound. None of them carbonated. None of them recommended as a drinkable beverage. (Well, not by someone with your best interests at heart.){{Citation needed}}
|-
|You-Know-What
|A phrase typically employed when a more specific term is considered {{tvtropes|TheScottishTrope|unspeakable or taboo}}. Possibly a reference to {{w|Harry Potter}} and You-Know-Who (Voldemort).
|-
|{{w|Tab (drink)|Tab}}
|Name of a carbonated beverage, manufactured by Coca-Cola.
|-
|Spicewater
|Thought to be a reference to the spice in ''Dune''. This area covers much of the state of Idaho, which may be a reference to the character {{w|Duncan Idaho}} in ''Dune''.
|-
|Softie
|Short for soft drink. On the map, it looks like the region for Softie is being punched by the region labeled Punch.
|-
|Ohio Tea
|The area in question covers much of Arizona, the namesake of {{w|Arizona Beverage Company|Arizona Iced Tea}}, itself a non-carbonated beverage. This implies that residents of Arizona view carbonated beverages as something that comes from Ohio, and thus they place Ohio's name before the word "Tea" to indicate its carbonated state.

Could also refer to [https://youtu.be/0_XAPku7SgE?t=30 "...bubbling crude. Oil that is, black gold, '''Texas tea'''.]
|-
|Boat Drink
|A reference to the song "{{w|Boat Drinks|Boat Drinks}}" by {{w|Jimmy Buffett}}.
|-
|Melt
|Usually used to describe a kind of sandwich where cheese is melted in the center, usually on a griddle. Possibly a play on {{w|malt drink}}. Or maybe just a way to say "no, the *melted* ice".
|-
|Fizz Ooze
|Fizz is the sound made when opening a sealed carbonated beverage. Ooze means a slow trickle out of a liquid.
|-
|{{w|Punch (drink)|Punch}}
|A beverage typically found in the juice aisle. Only sometimes carbonated. It's also a pun on the word punch, meaning to hit something, and on the map it looks like the region for Punch is literally punching the region for Softie.
|-
|Fun Wine
|Implies that normal wine is not "fun". Might be an allusion to {{w|Cheerwine}}, a carbonated beverage from the Southeast.
|-
|Diet
|Sometimes refers to a carbonated beverage. A common request in restaurants, as they often only have a single "{{w|Diet drink|diet soda}}" option for customers to pick.
|-
|{{w|Refill}}
|A subsequent glass of whatever you drank previously. Works for any drinkable liquid. Some restaurants do not require extra payment for one.
|-
|Tickle Juice
|Name of a Boston-based jazz band. Perhaps a slang term for alcohol, as it "tickles" the tastebuds.
|-
|Bubble Honey
| A honey-based drink with bubbles?
|-
|Sugar Oil
|Some sodas do contain oils such as palm oil. The areas of Oklahoma and north Texas that are shaded produce a significant amount of {{w|petroleum|crude oil}}.
|-
|The Wet Drink
|Technically true of all beverages, unless one is attempting to drink sand (or anhydrous fluids - of which the least harmful may be clarified butter). It may also refer to the fact that many advertisements for carbonated beverages attempt to make the product look more appetizing by photographing or filming a beverage container covered with water droplets.
|-
|{{w|Mountain Dew|Code Red}}
|Name of a carbonated beverage. The cherry flavored version of Mountain Dew.
|-
|{{w|Mead}}
|An alcoholic beverage. Traditionally not carbonated. Often associated with Vikings, and these areas did have many Scandinavian immigrants.
|-
|Canadian Ale
|Probably a reference to the {{w|Canada Dry}} brand of {{w|Ginger Ale}}, a non-alcoholic carbonated beverage.
|-
|Aether
|In antiquity, "Aether" was {{w|Aether_(classical_element)|a hypothetical liquid}} believed to carry light waves, before electromagnetism was better understood, and also used as a term to refer to {{w|Aether_(mythology)|the sky or heavens}}; "Aether" could refer to {{w|diethyl ether}}, a highly flammable industrial solvent, also used as an anesthetic. Neither is carbonated in its liquid form, and neither would be safe to drink as a beverage.
|-
|Carbonated Beverage
|Technically correct, but a bit of an awkward term due to its unnecessary length. Carbonated water with no sweeteners or other additives is labeled as {{w|seltzer}}.
|-
|Mouthwater
|A play on the term "mouth watering" to describe delicious foods and beverages. Alternatively may refer to spit, water from the mouth, or that it is a liquid one puts in their mouth.
|-
|{{w|Capri Sun|Capri}}
|Capri Sun is a brand of beverages flavored with fruit juice, typically sold uncarbonated in pouches.
|-
|Skim Shake
|A shortened name of the beverage "Skim Milkshake".
|-
|Kid's Coffee
|Somewhat accurate. Coffee is typically drunk by adults for its caffeine. Carbonated beverages often have caffeine and are often consumed by children. Possibly a reference to the song "Kids" from the 1960 musical ''{{w|Bye Bye Birdie}}''.
|-
|Regular
|Refers to regular soda containing sugars (as opposed to diet), implying that your only choice of beverages is between regular or diet soda. In the past, "Regular" sometimes referred to gasoline containing lead, as opposed to "Unleaded" gasoline. It was not carbonated, nor safe as a beverage, and is now outlawed. Could also refer to regular coffee (in some places referring to caffeinated coffee having one milk and one sugar added, or as opposed to decaffeinated coffee), which is a beverage that is not carbonated.
|-
|{{w|Tang (drink)|Tang}}
|An orange-flavored beverage containing less than 2% juice extract. Normally sold in powdered form, and not carbonated.
|-
|{{w|Infant formula|Formula}}
|Typically refers to an artificial replacement for mother's milk. Not carbonated.
|-
|Medicine
|The syrups used to flavor colas were originally produced and sold for their (allegedly) medicinal properties - indeed, the very word "Pepsi" was derived from it being touted as an effective remedy against {{w|dyspepsia}} (now more commonly called indigestion). Likewise, {{w|tonic water}}, a carbonated quinine solution, was originally used to treat malaria. (This may have led to "tonic" becoming the traditional Bostonian word for soft drinks - although [https://www3.bostonglobe.com/metro/2012/03/24/boston-word-tonic-gives-way-soda/QpbSyMXlJvvESSVERxb6iP/story.html this is changing.)] It could also refer to modern uses of Ginger Ale as a folk remedy for an upset stomach, or to the practice of chugging a carbonated beverage to [https://www.healthline.com/health/digestive-health/how-to-make-yourself-burp relieve bloating by inducing burping.]
|-
|{{w|Broth}}
|Liquid in which bones, meat, fish, or vegetables have simmered. Often used as a soup base. Not carbonated.
|-
|Fool's Champagne
|Carbonated beverage is to champagne what fool's gold (pyrite) is to gold.
|-
|Sugar Milk
|Possibly a reference to sap extracted from the stems & trunks of plants, which is sometimes called "milk", such as "[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_rubber#Dandelion dandelion milk]"; Under this convention, a beverage made from the extract of sugar cane stems could be termed "sugar milk". Also, food-grade liquids that superficially resemble mammalian milk are often labeled as "[X] milk" after their source, such as "soy milk" and "almond milk"; Sugar being a major component of milk & milk substitutes, it may make sense to call soda "sugar milk." Possibly related: In this region of the US, people drink a popular carbonated beverage called {{w|Moxie}} that may be less familiar to people elsewhere.
|-
|No word for them
|This region of the US does not have a word for carbonated beverages (according to Randall). It's not uncommon for speakers of a dialect to be familiar with something but have no specific term for it; for example a rainstorm while the sun is still shining is called a "{{w|sunshower}}" in some dialects, but in other dialects it is just a rainstorm. Randall could also be suggesting the citizens of Vermont do not refer to carbonated drinks by any name at all, or even have them in their state, thus their dialect would never develop a word for them.
|-
|Hydro
|A word for water. Carbonated water does exist, but this word means all forms of water. Possibly a reference to the film {{w|Waterworld}}, in which "hydro" is the common term for (scarce and valuable) drinkable water.
|-
|Harvard Tea
|The region shaded this way includes {{w|Cambridge, Massachusetts}}, which is home to {{w|Harvard University}}.
|-
|{{w|Drinking fountain|Bubbler}}
|A nod to another popular map of the same type, exploring the regional dialects used to describe drinking fountains. Rhode Island and the eastern portion of Wisconsin are the only two locations where 'Bubbler' is commonly used to refer to drinking fountains, but the word is commonly used in surrounding areas to depict the strong variety of {{w|Rhoticity_in_English|rhoticity}} present, some saying 'bubblah' in for example Boston, and others saying 'water fountain'.
|-
|Mouthbuzz
|Perhaps referring to the feeling of drinking a carbonated beverage, where the releasing carbonation almost 'buzzes' in the mouth.
|-
|Brad's Elixir
|Possibly a reference to "Brad's Drink", the original name for {{w|Pepsi}} when it was invented by Caleb Bradham in 1893. The word "elixir" is defined as "a sweetened liquid usually containing alcohol that is used in medication either for its medicinal ingredients or as a flavoring". "Elixir" was misspelled in the original version of this comic as "elixer".
|-
|Hot Water
|Not carbonated. Not even in Jacuzzi and hot tubs. May reference how boiled water forms bubbles before it actually comes to a boil.
|-
|Fluid
|A word that means nearly any liquid or gas in existence. Not specific to carbonated beverages.
|-
|{{w|Coke Zero}}
|Name of a carbonated beverage.
|-
|Carbo
|Sodas sweetened with corn syrup or cane sugar are high in carbohydrates. Could also refer to carbonation.
|-
|Quicksilver
|An old term for the element {{w|Mercury (element)|mercury}}, a metallic liquid in its pure form at room temperature. It should also be noted that mercury is a toxin and in most cases it is medically contraindicated against drinking mercury as a beverage.
|-
|Glug
|Onomatopoeia, referring to the sound of swallowing a large amount of liquid. Or possibly referring to {{w|Glögi|glögg}} (pronounced "glug"), a Swedish beverage similar to mulled wine.
|-
|Water Plus
|Technically the name of {{w|Water Plus|a British water retail services provider}}, this likely refers to the prevalence of "plus" as a suffix in branding nomenclature (e.g.: {{w|Google+}}, {{w|iPhone 8 Plus}}, {{w|7 Up Plus}}, etc.). Also reminiscent of "Milk Plus," the drugged milk from the movie A Clockwork Orange.
|-
|Carbo bev (title text)
|Not actually popular, but used by one person trying to sound hip and trendy, to the ire of his peers. Randall states this guy lives in Missouri — in real life "Coke" is used for most of the midwest, except an area centered around St. Louis, MO where "Soda" is more popular (see the maps linked above for more details).
|}

==Transcript==
:[A map of the United States divided into purple, red, green, blue, and yellow colored regions.]

:[A purple area in North West Washington.]
:Fanta

:[A blue area spanning the Western border of Washington and Oregon.]
:Söde

:[A yellow area spanning the remainder of Washington, North Western Oregon, Northern Idaho and the North Western corner of Montana.]
:Ichor

:[A green area spanning the North Eastern corner of Oregon, central Idaho and the majority of Montana.]
:Spicewater

:[A blue area spanning Eastern Montana, the North Eastern corner of Wyoming and the majority of North and South Dakota.]
:Refill

:[A red area spanning Eastern North and South Dakota, the majority of Minnesota, Northern Wisconsin and Michigan North of the lakes.]
:Mead

:[A green area spanning the border between Minnesota and Wisconsin.]
:Canadian Ale

:[A yellow area spanning the South Eastern corner of Minnesota, the North Eastern corner of Iowa and the majority of Wisconsin.]
:Aether

:[A green area in North East Wisconsin.]
:Mouthwater

:[A purple area covering most of Michigan south of the lakes.]
:Kid's coffee

:[A red area covering Northeast & central New York.]
:Hydro

:[A green area covering Vermont and spanning the border with New York.]
:[No word for them]

:[A yellow area covering Maine and the majority of New Hampshire.]
:Sugar milk

:[A red area spanning Eastern Massachusetts and the border with New Hampshire.]
:Harvard tea

:[A blue area covering Rhode Island and spanning Eastern Connecticut, central Massachusetts and the South West corner of New Hampshire.]
:Bubbler

:[A yellow area spanning the South Eastern corner of New York, the South Western corner of Massachusetts, Western Connecticut and Northern New Jersey.]
:Mouth Buzz

:[A red area spanning North Eastern California, Southern Oregon, the South Western corner of Idaho and the majority of Nevada.]
:You-know-what

:[A blue area spanning South Western Idaho, Eastern Nevada, the majority of Utah and the border of Utah and Arizona.]
:Softie

:[A green area spanning Northern Utah and the majority of Colorado.]
:Punch

:[A yellow area covering the majority of Wyoming.]
:Fizz ooze

:[A purple area spanning the South Eastern corner of Wyoming, the North Eastern corner of Colorado, the North Western corner of Kansas, Southern South Dakota, the majority of Nebraska and Iowa, and Northern Missouri.]
:Tickle juice

:[A blue area spanning Eastern Iowa, Southern Wisconsin, the majority of Illinois and Indiana, the Southern border of Michigan, the Western border of Ohio and North Western Kentucky.]
:Capri

:[A green area spanning South Eastern Michigan, the majority of Ohio and Pennsylvania, South Western New York, Northern West Virginia and Western Maryland.]
:Medicine

:[A purple area spanning Eastern Pennsylvania and Southern New Jersey.]
:Brad's Elixir

:[A red area spanning the South Eastern corner of Pennsylvania, Eastern Maryland, Delaware and Northern Virginia.]
:Hot Water

:[A yellow area spanning Eastern Kentucky, the Southern border of Ohio, Southern West Virginia, the majority of Virginia and Northern North Carolina.]
:Broth

:[A blue area in Western California, North of San Francisco.]
:True water

:[A yellow area in Western California, South of San Francisco.]
:Crypto

:[A green area in South Western California, North of Los Angeles.]
:Yum

:[A blue area in South Western California, close to Los Angeles.]
:Sparkle fluid

:[A purple area in South Western California, close to San Diego.]
:King cola

:[A yellow area spanning South Eastern California, Southern Nevada and the North Western corner of Arizona.]
:Tab

:[A green area spanning the South Eastern corner of California and the majority of Arizona.]
:Ohio tea

:[A red area spanning Eastern Arizona, the majority of New Mexico, Southern Colorado and the border between New Mexico and Texas.]
:Fun wine

:[A blue area spanning Northern Texas, South Western Kansas and the majority of Oklahoma.]
:Sugar oil

:[A red area spanning Central and Eastern Kansas, Southern Nebraska, Central Missouri and South Western Illinois.]
:Bubble Honey

:[A yellow area spanning Southern New Mexico and Western Texas.]
:Diet

:[A blue area in Southern Texas.]
:Code red

:[A green area spanning the majority of Texas and the Southern border of Oklahoma.]
:The wet drink

:[A purple area spanning Eastern Texas, the South Eastern corner of Oklahoma, the majority of Arkansas, Southern Missouri and Western Louisiana.]
:Carbonated beverage

:[A yellow area spanning Eastern Louisiana, Eastern Arkansas, Southern Missouri, the South Western corner of Tennessee, the majority of Mississippi and the South Western corner of Alabama.]
:Skim shake

:[A green area spanning the majority of Tennessee, Southern Kentucky, Northern Alabama, Northern Georgia and Western North Carolina.]
:Regular

:[A purple area covering the majority of North Carolina.]
:Fluid

:[A red area spanning Eastern Mississippi, Central Alabama, Northern Georgia and the South Western border of South Carolina.]
:Tang

:[A yellow area covering the majority of South Carolina.]
:Coke zero

:[A blue area in Central Georgia.]
:Fool's Champagne

:[A purple ares spanning Southern Alabama, Southern Georgia and Northern Florida.]
:Formula

:[A yellow area in Eastern Florida, near Orlando.]
:Carbo

:[A blue area in Western Florida, near Tampa.]
:Quicksilver

:[A red area in Southern Florida, South of Tampa and Orlando.]
:Glug

:[A green area in Southern Florida, near Miami.]
:Water plus

:[A yellow area corresponding to Hawaii except for the island of O'ahu.]
:Pepsi

:[A red area corresponding to the Hawaiian island of O'ahu.]
:Crystal Pepsi

:[A blue area covering the majority of Alaska.]
:Boat drink

:[A red area in Southern Alaska, near Anchorage.]
:Melt

==Trivia==
In the [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/3/3f/20190209140621%21carbonated_beverage_language_map.png original version of the comic], "elixir" was misspelled as "elixer". Randall later corrected his mistake.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:US maps]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

Talk:2682: Easy Or Hard

2025-12-02T01:30:44Z

Ardub:

For other people not in US: active ingredient of Tylenol is {{w|Paracetamol}}. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 12:51, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

"Now paleontologists have pinpointed during what time of year that millions of years event happened, all thanks to new fossil evidence" (from [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okOnVovooeM SciShow]) It is probably what's referenced in the "What time of year did the cretaceous impact happen?" [[User:Ppete pete|Pete Ratchatakul]] ([[User talk:Ppete pete|talk]]) 13:36, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Paper cited in the title text: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/360674587_Derivation_of_a_governing_rule_in_triboelectric_charging_and_series_from_thermoelectricity
[[User:Victor|Victor]] ([[User talk:Victor|talk]]) 13:39, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
:AKA https://journals.aps.org/prresearch/pdf/10.1103/PhysRevResearch.4.023131 [[Special:Contributions/172.70.210.49|172.70.210.49]] 14:17, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Papers related to the time of the year of the impact:

"... reveal that the impact occurred during boreal Spring/Summer, shortly after the spawning season for fish and most continental taxa." - [https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-03232-9 Seasonal calibration of the end-cretaceous Chicxulub impact event]

"Here, by studying fishes that died on the day the Mesozoic era ended, we demonstrate that the impact that caused the Cretaceous–Palaeogene mass extinction took place during boreal spring." - [https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-022-04446-1 The Mesozoic terminated in boreal spring]

[[User:Ppete pete|Pete Ratchatakul]] ([[User talk:Ppete pete|talk]]) 13:46, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Isn't mechanisms of Tylenol well known?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4912877/
:No - that's still a fairly new theory and it isn't fully accepted yet, or confirmed that there isn't anything else going on. It's been an area of controversy for a long time - when I graduated it was still thought it was a cox-3 inhibitor and that wasn't that long ago. (I'm a pharmacist.) [[Special:Contributions/172.70.162.77|172.70.162.77]] 12:07, 9 October 2022 (UTC)
: I remember reading that the analgesic effect of Tylenol is not significantly greater than placebo, according to some RCTs. So the solution to "how Tylenol works" could simply be that it doesn't. (it's also not that great for treating fever either). USA people are missing out big time for not having approved metamizole/dypirone. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.238.9|172.71.238.9]] 22:06, 6 March 2023 (UTC)

I can't vouch for the long-period accuracy of the software that I just used (nor have I cross-checked with any other list or interactive app), but my quick research shows that on 31st March 1889 (dignitaries were officially taken to the top of the Eiffel Tower), Mars was in Pisces, and that in-between then and 6th May (the public got to do the same) it had drifted through Aries (IIRC, forgot to note that explicitly!) and into Taurus, where it was still on 26th May (the lifts opened, and the journey didn't have to be by the stairs!). Although you would have been unlikely to get a good view of Mars as it was quite close to conjunction with the Sun, getting well past Mercury's furthest extent. (In mid-June, it was practically on top of (or over but behind, as it were) the Sun, out of sight for all practical purposes.) I'm sure someone can do a more thorough check than myself, before we set this down properly/succinctly, but it was the first thing I thought of checking for myself. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.90.245|172.70.90.245]] 15:56, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Top right reminds of [[2501: Average Familiarity]]: I guess that for many people relativity and quantum mechanics might fall in the middle right cell, not the top right. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.3.238|172.69.3.238]] 16:07, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
:I agree. It takes some familiarity with physics to realize that reconciling them is hard. Lay people may not understand these things at all, but they might assume that they're known well enough by scientists that this is at worst a hard problem. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 16:28, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Isn't there a category for these types of grids? There should be, he does lots of them. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 16:28, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

I got 2.125*10^-17 m/s^2, or 3.18*10^-18 N, for the gravitational force/acceleration from the Eiffel Tower on a baseball on Fenway Park. Someone might want to check my calculations, though.--[[User:Account|Account]] ([[User talk:Account|talk]]) 23:42, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
: How did you get those numbers? I was trying to figure it out (for shits and giggles), but I got a different number. What equations/calculations did you use? --[[Special:Contributions/72.138.76.186|72.138.76.186]] 14:04, 11 October 2022 (UTC)
: It occurred to me that the Boston to Paris gravity question might not be quite as easy as it seems, since the relevant distance would be not “as the crow flies,” but more “as the mega-gopher digs.” (I think?) [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 21:11, 9 October 2022 (UTC)
:: I already edited it away from the (implied) suggestion of Great Circle distance (as a trivial understanding of 'distance between', and probably what most searches for a value would turn up). But using latitude, longitude and radius (local, +altitude if you're into the detail) from a sufficiently accurate geophysical model (at least an oblate spheroid) as spherical coordinates leads quickly to true-ish straight-line length. And probably doesn't need to be sigbificantly further adjusted by the small dimple in spacetime that the Earth puts there, or even the fringe distortions of other tide-inducing (and therefore variable) gravitational bodies.
:: You might even get away with a mere spherical model (and altitude is surely less significant a factor than the difference between that and the spheroid), for a given necessary accuracy level. But I thought that was too much to explain, so left it a bit vaguer. But if further edits are needed, feel free! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.85.49|172.70.85.49]] 08:27, 10 October 2022 (UTC)
::: An oblate spheroid is probably overkill. The difference between the polar and equatorial radii is 20 km, about 0.3% of the radius. Certainly, if you're down to the accuracy where you care about the elevation above sea level, this is going to be important, but otherwise it's not going to change your result much to just use a sphere with the mean radius of the Earth. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.34.213|172.70.34.213]] 20:15, 11 October 2022 (UTC)

I can attest to the anesthesia one... Near the beginning of Covid I had to get my foot amputated, something they obviously would knock you out for. However, it was felt that it would be risky in light of Covid so they wouldn't, instead numbing me with a needle to the spine (as I understand it, same idea as the epidural women might get while giving birth). So I was awake and feeling nothing while getting a body part cut off me (both times, I had to get cut twice due to the first cut getting infected). Just shows how delicate even an anesthesiologist's understanding is. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:03, 8 October 2022 (UTC)

Is it actually a bigger medical mystery how Tylenol works than how general anesthesia works? I figure the latter has had more research dollars spent on it, at the very least. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.178.65|172.70.178.65]] 21:17, 10 October 2022 (UTC)

Calculating how much does the Eiffel Tower's gravity deflect baseballs in Boston is easy, but direct observation is insanely hard. [[User:Lamty101|Lamty101]] ([[User talk:Lamty101|talk]]) 02:09, 11 October 2022 (UTC)
:But just to observe the force, one only needs a {{w|Torsion_spring#Torsion_balance|torsion balance}} and some means of entirely relocating the tower to an equidistant point on the Earth's surface but on a plane at right-angles to that of the original vector (for comparative purposes)... ;) [[Special:Contributions/172.70.86.26|172.70.86.26]] 08:53, 11 October 2022 (UTC)
:I think it might be nitpicky to include in the description, but it's worth noting here that acceleration is a vector, so you'd need to know not just the masses of the two bodies and the distance between them, but also the direction from one to the other. This would affect the direction in which the baseball would be deflected. But if you know the two locations then you already have both distance and direction. [[User:Jkshapiro|Jkshapiro]] ([[User talk:Jkshapiro|talk]]) 08:40, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
::Can also likely ignore relativistic effects. [[User:Jkshapiro|Jkshapiro]] ([[User talk:Jkshapiro|talk]]) 08:40, 13 August 2023 (UTC)

Why is the transcript marked as incomplete? [[Special:Contributions/172.70.238.143|172.70.238.143]]
:: Missing title text? New poster/editor didn't know/bother to remove the tag? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.241.51|108.162.241.51]] 15:19, 11 October 2022 (UTC)
::: If it has title text it is ''over''complete and TT details would need to be removed from it. Title text is already given verbatim. The Transcript is there to support access to screen-reading/text-searching of information only otherwise available in graphical form, and therefore does not do anything useful by providing the TT (and could be so eadily made to give a ''different'' TT). That's my general understanding of the evolved 'policy' on this, anyway. If it changes, I'd suggest that a <nowiki>{{Template}}</nowiki> be inserted below the initially empty Transcript (and above the Discussion insertion) that grabs the <nowiki>{{comic}}</nowiki> field of title text, on the calling page (or optionally another, by numeric parameter, if that would be ever useful) and repeats it verbatim. But, that aside...
::: If someone has an idea that they have now truly completed the Transcript, they can remove that tag. If someone else believes there are no further worthwhile improvements, they can remove that tag. But someone else might make it 'better', ''anyway'', two minutes or ten years later. And rather than worry about detagging the very latest comic (or even the prior couple, from within the last two) ASAP, I'd personally think about looking at anything untouched for a while from the older comics. And either tweaking (but leaving the tag a little longer for others to review, finishing the job a few days later if no further issues) or finalising as complete rather than polish the turd/gild the lilly.
::: But I know some people have blitzed all Incomplete tags, and many others clearly consider it not so clear cut and leave them in order to give the benefit of the uncertainty. – Between all our crowd-edits, there seems to be a fairly reasonable concensus, although vanishing Incompletes rarely get replaced by others who disagree but can't themselves (properly) Complete them so it probably biases towards more premature Completing. Which doesn't freeze it, and if the community-accepted 'transcript formatting' hasn't even been done yet it can still be done. (Perhaps the only time I'd reinsert the Incompleteness tag while "finishing" it.) [[Special:Contributions/172.70.86.26|172.70.86.26]] 18:09, 11 October 2022 (UTC)

The mass of the Eiffel Tower is about 1.01×107 kg, and the distance "as the mole digs" from Paris to Boston is about 5370 km. (This distance is calculated with a great-circle distance of 5543 km and an Earth radius of 6371 km. These also give us a central angle of 0.87 radians, which we'll use later.)

So, the acceleration due to the tower's gravity is (gravitational constant × 1.01×107 kg / (5370 km)2). Plug that, along with a typical fastball flight time of 0.48 s (60.5 feet at 85 mph), into the formula (at2)/2, and you get a total displacement of 2.69×10−18 meters (compared to where the ball would have been after 0.48 seconds if the tower weren't there). That's about one ten-millionth the diameter of a hydrogen atom.

The angle between the pitch's trajectory and the vector to Paris means that whole displacement doesn't go toward sending it off-course, though. I don't feel like rigorously finding this angle, so let's take the fact that pitchers throw westward and pretend that's directly away from Paris. Using the central angle of 0.87 radians, the angle of deflection comes out to about 2.71 rad, meaning the baseball's displacement is back and slightly down. The component of the displacement vector that's perpendicular to the ball's trajectory is cos((pi - 0.87) / 2) times the displacement. So, my final answer is 1.13 × 10−18 meters. [[User:Ardub|Ardub]] ([[User talk:Ardub|talk]]) 01:30, 2 December 2025 (UTC)

== This whole "hair and balloon" thing ==

According to a fan theory, hair have a lot of microscopic imperfections like cracks, that tend to rub against things in "microrough" manner.
 Meanwhile, ballons, that are made of elastic matter, will have to interact with the hair's ... microscopic stuff.
 As a result, there will be quite a surface for interactions on molecular level to bump a lot of molecules one against another without scratching/damaging.
 Same thing in lesser proportions happened to me in 2009, when I magnetized my Philips screwdriver by revolving its edges against edges of holer in my PC case.
 So, in my opinion, "hair agaist baloon" is a good clue: it takes very little effort unlike revolving a 6mm screwdriver agaist 5 mm holes {{unsigned ip|162.158.203.40|Latest revision as of 13:10, 14 October 2022}}
:The big thing about balloon/whatever charge redistribution is (the last I heard) why charges preferentially travel in one direction upon rubbing. Given the complicated mix of surface-molecules, you can't ascribe it to ready-donor/ready-recipient tendencies, such as in an electrolytic cell specifically designed to promote electron/proton exchange from an amorphous mass. And, if nothing else, having been transfered then the force of newly accumulated charge syould want to flow at least as readily in the other direction upon more dynamic contact, so whatever 'incidental' bias from your particular choice of material-pairing (amber/cloth, latex/keratin, or however the charge differential is established in thunderclouds) there's going to quickly be a limit whereupon the charge-per-subunit is hit by diminishing returns (presumably intra-molecular charge distribution 'soaks' some chare distribution away frm the 'skin' of the respective substances).... So it's more complex than just the above, and definitely does [[2268: Further Research is Needed|need further study]], the last I heard. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.91.58|172.70.91.58]] 15:07, 14 October 2022 (UTC)

: FYI, the effect has a name. It's called ''triboelectricity'' (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triboelectric_effect). [[Special:Contributions/172.70.135.224|172.70.135.224]] 00:18, 18 October 2022 (UTC)