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887: Future Timeline

2025-03-23T14:21:14Z

Caralice: Undo revision 369868 by 172.71.210.77 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 887
| date = April 18, 2011
| title = Future Timeline
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = future timeline.png
| titletext = Not shown: the approximately 30,000 identical, vaguely hysterical articles titled "WHITE PEOPLE IN [THE US/BRITAIN] TO BECOME MINORITY BY [YEAR]!", which came up for basically any year I put in.
}}

{{TOC}}

==Explanation==
This comic uses the same strategy as comic [[715: Numbers]], in which [[Randall]] uses Google to search for phrases and then charts the results. This one is charted as a timeline, whereas 715 was charted as line graphs.
It is a list of things predicted or announced by anyone at any time (the ones you see on Google search using "by the year..." or similar statements).

"2101 - War Was Beginning" is a reference to the opening narration of video game ''Zero Wing''; the same narration is famous for the internet meme "{{w|All your base are belong to us}}". As there are not any other out and out references in the comic, and the rest are actually results that you can find using Randall's methods, "War Was Beginning" was probably the only thing he got when he googled 2101 as well.

Certain events in this comic, e.g., "Social Security stops running surplus", are repeated multiple times. Also, certain bizarre events, like "Apocalypse occurs", or "Flying cars reach market", happen before rather plausible things, like "'Big one' hits California". Certain events, like "Japan is a robot-only country" or "Gillette introduces 14-blade razor" may be related to the recurring theme [[605: Extrapolating]].

According to [https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2020/demo/p25-1144.pdf some official projections], (non Hispanic) {{w|White people}} will no longer be the majority in the United States by 2045 due to low birth rates and high rates of immigration. The title text is Randall's statement that, for both the US and Great Britain, there are so many sources that mention this, for any year he cared to search for and many using more far more doubtful sources (if any), that he decided that it was not worth flooding the chart with all these spurious repetitions, even though he did include other less prolific recurring themes.

This comic has similar features to [[1413: Suddenly Popular]], [[1093: Forget]], and [[891: Movie Ages]].

==The predictions==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Year
! Prediction
! Further Details
! Outcome
|-
| rowspan="4"| 2012
| World population
| Ever since the advent of modern medicine and the more efficient agricultural processes developed since the Industrial Revolution, the human population had been growing at an unprecedented rate. This has caused some people to {{w|Human overpopulation|worry about overpopulation}}, which would cause a scarcity of resources and overcrowding, and propose various solutions, most of which involve some form of eugenics. 7 billion is a landmark number because it is a multiple of 1 billion.
| Close; Earth reached 7 billion in late 2011.
|-
| Flying cars
| For decades, flying cars have been a staple of futuristic sci-fi and technological predictions. So far very few of these predictions, which to tend to hover around 5–10 years from whatever the current date is, have come true.
| Too early; a flying car designed for consumer use was [https://www.suasnews.com/2021/04/announcing-aska-the-electric-take-off-and-landing-flying-car-for-consumers first demonstrated in July 2021] , but has yet to go into production. You could argue that helicopters count as flying cars, but these are not affordable{{citation needed}} and hence not widely used by the general public.
|-
| Canada cuts greenhouse emissions
| Currently, the Earth is experiencing an unprecedented period of warming we call global warming, caused in part by greenhouse emissions, which are gases that help trap heat in the atmosphere. Countries have repeatedly gotten together and promised to stop emitting greenhouse gases, but so far they have failed to meet their targets.
| False. Canada withdrew from the Kyoto treaty in late 2011, and its emissions in 2012 were 18% ''above'' 1990 levels (though its population had grown 26% and its GDP had grown 67% in that period).
|-
| Apocalypse occurs
| The end of a cycle of the Mayan calendar on December 22, 2012 has been used in popular culture as a basis for predicting the end of the world. Amongst other things, this included the film '2012'. Some people took this rather more seriously, and actually believed that the world would end on this date.
| False.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| rowspan="4"| 2013
| National debt paid off
| For years, the subject of national debt (in the USA) has been a political point of contention. While both parties theoretically support reducing the debt or paying it off entirely, Democrats are more willing to spend to pull the country out of recessions in the economy and Republicans to cut taxes. The last time that spending did not exceed revenue begin under Clinton, a Democrat, and ended after George W. Bush, a Republican, said that this amounted to taxpayers being "overcharged" and taxes were lowered, followed by the Great Recession. Clinton at one point proposed [https://money.cnn.com/1999/06/28/economy/clinton/ paying off the debt by 2015].
| False.
|-
| Microchipping all Americans
| Microchips are small computer chips, typically embedded in pets in case they get lost, that contain information about the pet. Some, more paranoid, people worry about the government microchipping everyone in an effort to monitor their activities.
| False, although voluntary RFID implants do exist.
|-
| Homelessness ended in MA
| In 2008, the Commission To End Homelessness in Massachusetts, under Governor Deval Patrick, proposed a plan to all but eliminate homelessness over the next five years (hence the 2013 end-date on the comic).
| False.
|-
| Health care reform law repealed
| A health care reform law, popularly known as Obamacare, was signed into law in 2010. Ever since, many Republicans have tried (in vain) to repeal it, disliking the idea that government should provide and require healthcare. However, President [[Joe Biden]] has stated to restore Obamacare.
| Too early; almost repealed in 2017.
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2014
| US leaves Afghanistan
| After the {{w|September 11 attacks|terrorist attack}} on the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} (WTC) in New York on September 11, 2001, the United States invaded Afghanistan, due to the Taliban allegedly hosting al-Qaeda, the terrorist organization behind the attacks. The war has gone on since then, with the public growing increasingly tired of it. Public support then favoured a withdrawal, but for military and logistical reasons, the government could not simply move all the US troops in Afghanistan to their home. Therefore, the government promised to eventually withdraw all troops, initially planned to do so by the end of 2014.
| Too early; the remaining US troops [https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/afghanistan-afghan-troops-struggle-to-replace-americans-at-key-bagram-air-base-2480356 left Afghanistan in June 2021.]
|-
| GNU/Linux dominant OS
| An operating system, or OS, is the software that forms the structure in which applications on you computer function. Some typical OSs include Mac OS X, Windows 10, and Linux. The first two of those three are commercial products, sold as a copy by a company. The last is an open-source OS, one that anyone can download and modify free. Typically, open-source software is used by a small number of socially conscious people.
| False, although Linux-based Android dominated phones since 2011.
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2015
| New Horizon reaches Pluto
| The New Horizon spacecraft is a U.S. space mission designed to go to Pluto and take photographs, collect samples, etc.
| True. [https://pluto.jhuapl.edu It reached Pluto on July 14, 2015].
|-
| Healthcare law causes hyperinflation
| The National Inflation Association warned that the [https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/healthcare-bill-to-cause-us-hyperinflation-by-2015-88711032.html healthcare bill would cause U.S. hyperinflation by 2015.]
| False.
|-
| Millennium development goals achieved
| {{w|Millennium Development Goals}}
| False.
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2016
| Baby boomers begin turning 65
| {{w|Baby boomers}} are individuals conceived in the years following World War Two, roughly defined as those born from 1946-1959. This isn't so much a prediction as basic math; if you were born in 1946, you turned 65 in 2011.
| True.
|-
| Android takes 38%/45% of market share
| {{w|Android (operating system)|Android}} is a popular operating system for smartphones and tablets, created by Google. Market share is the percentage of all devices that use the product, in this case the Android operating system. These entries together are humorous because they cannot both happen at the same time.
| Too late; passed these marks in 2010. {{w|Android OS}}'s [https://www.idc.com/prodserv/smartphone-os-market-share.jsp market share was already 84.4% as of the third quarter of 2014,] showing that both estimates were overly conservative.
|-
| Windows phone overtakes iOS
| {{w|iOS}} is the operating system used by Apple iPhones. At the time of the comic, Apple's mobile OS is much more popular than Microsoft's. The article Randall found predicts that the tables will turn. However, Windows Phone was discontinued in 2017, with support for the last version (Windows Phone 10) ending on December 10, 2019.
| False.
|-
| rowspan="5"| 2017
| China completes lunar mission
| The {{w|Chinese space program}} has plans for extraterrestrial exploration, including a manned mission to the Moon.
Already having had success (prior to the comic) with lunar orbiters from 2007 onwards, the first lunar lander was 14 December 2013. The mission that the comic describes, however, is the first sample-return mission that returned to Earth 16 December 2020 (later than this prediction).
| Too early.
|-
| Social Security stops running surplus
| The first of many predictions about the United States {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}} trust fund program, all predicting its decline due to a variety of factors.
| Too early. Occurred in 2021.
|-
| US budget balanced
| The {{w|United States federal budget}} outlines how much the US government spends on what in a given fiscal year. The budget is not required to be balanced, and so often more money is spent than is earned in revenue, causing the national debt to rise.
| False. Still pretty negative.
|-
| Newspapers become obsolete and die out
| The increasing popularity of social media and online news has caused a steady decline in the popularity of print media.
| False. Though newspapers (especially printed ones) are in decline, they are certainly not obsolete as of 2017, or 2022, for that matter.
|-
| Cosmetic surgery doubles
| {{w|Cosmetic Surgery}}
| False. According to the ASPS (American Society of Plastic Surgeons), 1.6 million cosmetic surgeries were performed in 2011, while 1.8 million were performed in 2017, an increase of only 0.2 million.
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2018
| Social Security stops running surplus
| {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}} again.
| Still too early.
|-
| Jesus returns to Earth
| A number of Christians have attempted to predict the return of Christ (a.k.a. the {{w|second coming}} or the rapture) using clues from The Bible, even though the Bible and other religious texts says that "no man can know the date" and that it would be within the lifetime of some who witnessed Jesus's first appearance. Several predicted dates have come and gone.
| False.
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2019
| Social Security stops running surplus
| {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}} again.
| Still too early.
|-
| Every baby has genes mapped at birth
| {{w|Gene Mapping}}
| False.
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2020
| Solar power becomes cheaper than fossil fuels
| Scientists estimate that more than half of the {{w|fossil fuels}} in existence have already been found and that fossil fuel production will begin to decline due to the scarcity, causing prices to increase. At the same time, improvements in {{w|Solar Power|solar technology}} are causing the prices for solar energy to steadily decrease.
| True, though only in {{w|Cost of electricity by source#Recent_global_studies|certain cases}}.
|-
| Keyboards and mice become obsolete
| {{w|Computer input device|Computer input devices}} are beginning to adopt other inputs, such as trackpads, voice commands, touch screens, and eye tracking. While touch screens in particular are gaining widespread use with the rise of smartphones and tablets, as of 2022 desktop computers that use mice are still fairly common. And while voice-to-text has greatly improved, it still doesn't have the accuracy to replace typing. None of the other text inputs are as fast as a keyboard, and none are suitable for writing program code.
| False. While touchscreen devices ''are'' increasingly common, desktop computers are still very much in use. Mice continue to be used alongside touchscreens and trackpads, and keyboards remain the dominant method of writing on computers.
|-
| New Tappan Zee bridge constructed
| A {{w|Tappan_Zee_Bridge#Replacement_bridge|replacement bridge}} was announced in 2008.
| Too late; completed in 2017.
|-
| rowspan="4"| 2021
| US debt reaches 97% of GDP
| {{w|US Debt}}
| Too late; reached in 2011.
|-
| US unemployment falls to 2.8%
| {{w|Unemployment in the United States}}
| False: because of the COVID-19 pandemic, unemployment has actually ''increased''.
|-
| Restored caliphate unifies Middle East
| A {{w|caliphate}} is a form of {{w|Islam|Islamic}} theocracy, centred around a Caliph, or successor to the prophet {{w|Muhammad}}. This prediction foreshadows the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), which attempted but failed to create a caliphate in the Levant.
| False.
|-
| Lake Mead evaporates
| Formed by the {{w|Hoover Dam}} on the {{w|Colorado River}}, {{w|Lake Mead}} is the largest reservoir in the United States (measured by maximum capacity). It hasn't reached its capacity since 1983, due to drought and increased demand for water. This is linked to {{w|global warming}}.
| False, although water levels continue to fall.
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2022
| Kilimanjaro snow-free
| At 5,895 metres, {{w|Kilimanjaro}} is the highest mountain in {{w|Africa}}, and the highest free-standing mountain in the world. Around 85% of its ice cover disappeared between 1912 and 2011, and it continues to recede.
| False.
|-
| HTML 5 finished
| The World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) began work on {{w|HTML 5}} in 2004.
| Too late; 5.0 specification released in 2014, but incremental updates continue.
|-
| Newspapers become obsolete and die out
| This is the second time this prediction has appeared.
| False.
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2023
| Jesus returns to Earth (again)
| Again.
| False.
|-
| US debt passes 100% of GDP
| This references the common fear that {{w|US Debt}} will exceed GDP, possibly causing {{w|Economic bubble|economic turmoil}}.
| Too late; reached in 2012.
|-
| All unprotected ancient forests gone from Pacific Northwest
| Likely due to a combination of wildfire and {{w|deforestation}}.
| False.
|-
| rowspan="5"| 2024
| Atlantis begins to reappear
| {{w|Atlantis}} is the name of a fictional/hypothetical island, which is supposed to have been lost beneath the sea. It's not clear why ''rising'' sea level would make it reappear.
| False.
|-
| Orangutans extinct in wild
| {{w|Orangutan|Orangutans}} are a species of great ape, currently classed as an {{w|endangered species}}, and found only in the {{w|Rainforest|rainforests}} of {{w|Borneo}} and {{w|Sumatra}}.
| False.
|-
| China lands men and women on the Moon
| The {{w|Chinese space program}} has plans for extraterrestrial exploration, including a manned mission to the Moon.
Announcements in 2023 established that the Chinese crewed mission remains supposed to happen "by the year 2030".
| False
|-
| NASA sets up permanent Moon base
| There has been a lot of hype recently about finally returning to the Moon, vis-a-vis Orion.
| Too early; the {{w|Artemis program}} plans to put the {{w|Lunar Gateway}} in orbit around the Moon, which will be flown up in [https://www.nasa.gov/gateway-frequently-asked-questions four launches over the course of six years, beginning "no earlier than 2025"]
|-
| Female professionals pass males in pay
| This prediction is an erroneous extrapolation from the current (at the time this comic was made) rate at which female incomes were catching up to male incomes.
| False.
|-
| rowspan="4"| 2025
| World population reaches 8 billion
| Given current rates, it seems unlikely it will take this long to hit 8 billion, but advances in birth control options and especially their availability in developing nations may slow the current rate considerably.
| Too late. This number was reached in late 2022, although it may have been reached later as some countries overcount their population.
|-
| Two billion people face water shortages
| https://english.pravda.ru/science/earth/28-01-2008/103693-water_crisis-0/
|
|-
| 62 MPG cars introduced
| 62 miles per gallon, ~3.8 L/100km. 62 MPG is a very good mileage rate at today's standard, even though [https://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=5231050&page=1 some cars can be driven carefully so as to attain over 100 MPG].
|
|-
| US power fades
| https://www.cbsnews.com/news/report-us-power-will-fade-by-2025/
| Hard to know what the precise metric for this would be.
|-
| rowspan="5"| 2026
| Atlantis emerges completely
| {{w|Atlantis}} is the name of a fictional/hypothetical island, which is supposed to have been lost beneath the sea. It seems that it has taken 2 years for it to emerge completely.
|
|-
| Rock Bands die out
| https://bestbands.wordpress.com/2009/01/25/rock-bands-to-die-out-by-2026/
|
|-
| US debt paid off
| [https://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/27/business/27view.html It’s 2026, and the Debt Is Due.]
|
|-
| Car accidents cease
| Presumably, cars will be fully automated and able to pilot themselves at this point and will have fail-safes that prevent collisions currently attributed to user error. Car accidents will always be possible, however, due to mechanical and electrical failures.
|
|-
| West coast falls into ocean
| Most likely due to {{w|San_Andreas_Fault#The_next_.22Big_One.22|a significant seismic event}}.
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2027
| Japan introduces new fastest Maglev train
| Japan's railway systems are famous for their "bullet trains", or {{w|Shinkansen}}. The Chūō Shinkansen is planned to be opened in this year.
|
|-
| Lyndon Larouche-planned Mars colony is established
| https://totse.mattfast1.com/en/technology/space_astronomy_nasa/moonmars.html
|
|-
| Social Security stops running surplus
| {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}} again.
|
|-
| rowspan="4"| 2028
| Tobacco outlawed
| Tobacco products (cigarettes and chewing tobacco) have become more and more taboo in modern culture, with most public places and private businesses forbidding their use indoors and near places children congregate.
|
|-
| 40% of coral reefs gone
| Many factors have been attributed to the decline of {{w|Coral_reef#Threats|coral reefs}}, including mining, over fishing, and rising ocean tempteratures.
|
|-
| US debt paid off
| {{w|US Debt}}
|
|-
| Social Security stops running surplus
| {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}} again
|
|-
| rowspan="4"| 2029
| Social Security trust fund exhausted
| The next stage of the collapse of {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}}. After years of deficits deplete the trust fund, the program will only be able to pay out as much in benefits as it takes in each year.
|
|-
| Computers pass the Turing test
| It is no coincidence that 2029 is the timeline for Terminator Movies.
| Some computer programs already clear the Turing Test about 30% of the time.
|-
| Aging reversed
| [https://www.zdnet.com/article/manhattan-beach-project-to-reverse-aging-by-2029/ Manhattan Beach Project to reverse aging by 2029]
|
|-
| Wikipedia reaches 30 million articles
|
| As of July 2024, Wikipedia has over [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/List_of_Wikipedias#Grand_Total 63.2 million total articles], if all languages are included. The source being cited may have meant the English language Wikipedia, which has only {{w|Special:Statistics|6.8 million articles}}.
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2030
| Half of Amazon rain forest lost to logging
| WWF press release - [https://www.worldwildlife.org/press-releases/climate-change-speeds-up-amazon-s-destruction-says-wwf Climate Change Speeds Up Amazon’s Destruction] referring to a report on the [https://assets.panda.org/downloads/amazonas_eng_04_12b_web.pdf Amazon's vicious cycles].
|
|-
| Cancer deaths double from 2008 levels
| From the [https://www.cancer.org/myacs/newengland/global-cancer-burden-to-double-by-2030 Global Cancer Burden to Nearly Double by 2030] article about the article from page 37 of [https://www.cancer.org/research/cancerfactsfigures/globalcancerfactsfigures/global-facts-figures-2nd-ed Global Cancer Facts & Figures 2nd edition].
|
|-
| Arctic ice-free in summer
| https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/10/091015-arctic-ice-free-gone-video-ap.html
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2031
| Computers controlled by thought
| https://www.gizmag.com/future-mobile-technology/17554/
| As of 2017, this is {{w|Brain–computer interface|already possible}}, but still not used in any mass available devices as of 2024.
|-
| Realtors replaced by technology
| https://agbeat.com/editorials/will-realtors-be-replaced-by-technology-by-the-year-2031/
|
|-
| Social Security trust fund exhausted
| https://crfb.org/blogs/cbo-95-percent-confident-social-security-trust-fund-runs-out-25-years
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2032
| "Big One" hits San Francisco
| {{w|San Franscisco}} is located on the {{w|San Andreas Fault}}, which is predicted to produce a magnitude 7+ earthquake in the 'near future'. This event is referred to as {{w|San_Andreas_Fault#The_next_.22Big_One.22|"The Big One"}}.
|
|-
| US elects first married lesbian President
| https://4chandata.org/g/In-what-major-ways-do-you-think-the-world-of-2032-will-be-different-from-that-of-today-a20155
|
|-
| Entire world converted to Christianity
| https://www.goddiscussion.com/38920/christian-domininionsts-to-take-over-the-world-by-2032/
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2033
| Kilimanjaro ice disappears
| https://www.reuters.com/article/2009/11/02/idUSL2210825
|
|-
| India becomes superpower
| https://www.facebook.com/pages/India-A-SuperPower-by-2033/151177191568098
|
|-
| Europe reaches Mars
| [https://www.spacedaily.com/news/esa-general-03zb.html Specifically, a manned European mission]. ESA's {{w|Mars Express}} probe landed in 2003.
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2034
| US diabetes cases double, treatment costs triple
| [https://www.reuters.com/article/2009/11/27/us-diabetes-usa-costs-idUSTRE5AQ0C220091127 U.S. diabetes cases to double, costs triple by 2034]
|
|-
| US builds autonomous robot army
| The concept of robots built for military service is another common element of science fiction stories. [https://www.aos-inc.com/index.php/medialias/press-releases?id=112 Unmanned Systems] article, about the [https://www.dtic.mil/cgi-bin/GetTRDoc?AD=ADA522247 2009-2034 Unmanned Systems Integrated Roadmap] publication ([https://www.amazon.com/2009-Unmanned-Integrated-Aircraft-Technologies-ebook/dp/B0047743A0 details at Amazon]).
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2035
| 80% of America's energy comes from renewable sources
| From fact sheet on Obama's [https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2011/01/25/fact-sheet-state-union-president-obamas-plan-win-future State of the Union.]
|
|-
| Himalayan glaciers down 80% in size
| From an IPCC report on [https://web.archive.org/web/20100116132657/https://www.ipcc.ch/publications_and_data/ar4/wg2/en/ch10s10-6-2.html The Himalayan glaciers] that has been analysed in quite some depth. See for example detailed article on an [https://www.yaleclimateconnections.org/2010/02/anatomy-of-ipccs-himalayan-glacier-year-2035-mess/ anatomy of IPCC’s mistake].
|
|-
| Arctic sea lane opens
| [https://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/730ef8fe-27e1-11e0-8abc-00144feab49a.html#axzz3OBgEHYNY Arctic sea lane could open by 2035]
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2036
| 80% of US has access to high-speed rail
| [https://www.wnyc.org/story/284946-obama-80-percent-of-americans-should-have-access-to-high-speed-rail-by-2036/ Obama: 80 Percent of Americans Should Have Access to High Speed Rail By 2036]
|
|-
| Asteroid Apophis misses/hits Earth
| 99942 Apophis is a near-Earth asteroid that caused a brief period of concern in December 2004 because initial observations indicated a probability of up to 2.7% that it would hit Earth on April 13, 2029.
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2037
| Arctic ice-free in September
| {{w|Arctic sea ice decline}}
|
|-
| Social Security trust fund exhausted
| {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2038
| 32-bit timestamps roll over, causing Y2K-level chaos
| On 03:14:07 UTC on 19 January 2038, the value of time_t rolls over, that is it will return to zero. time_t is a computing standard measurement of time; it is a count of the number of seconds since 00:00:00 UTC on 1 January 1970. time_t is used by most computer systems to store date and time information. It is recommended that new software should convert to a 64 bit time_t; indeed, most operating systems designed to run on 64-bit hardware already use signed 64-bit time_t integers. This would give an epoch of 15:30:08 UTC on 4 December 292,277,026,596 (292 billion years away). Of course, legacy systems may not be upgradable so action taken now should prevent this becoming a problem closer to 2038...
|
|-
| "Big One" hits California
| [https://www.presstelegram.com/technology/20080414/the-big-one-likely-to-hit-by-2038 `The big one' likely to hit by 2038]
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2039
| US population hits 400 Million
| [https://www.prb.org/Publications/Articles/2008/us400million.aspx U.S. Population Projected to Hit 400 Million in 2039]
|
|-
| Severe heat waves become commonplace
| [https://news.stanford.edu/news/2010/july/extreme-heat-study-070810.html Heat waves and extremely high temperatures could be commonplace in the U.S. by 2039, Stanford study finds]
|
|-
| Scientology becomes majority religion in US
| [https://home.snafu.de/tilman/2039.html Essay: Scientology in the year 2039]
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2040
| Arctic summers ice-free
| [https://www.livescience.com/9419-arctic-summer-ice-free-2040.html Arctic Summer Could be Ice-Free by 2040]
|
|-
| Nanotechnology makes humans immortal
| [https://www.computerworld.com/article/2528330/app-development/nanotech-could-make-humans-immortal-by-2040--futurist-says.html Nanotech could make humans immortal by 2040, futurist says]
|
|-
| 2041
| Social Security trust fund exhausted
| {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}}
|
|-
| 2043
| World population passes 9 Billion
| {{w|Population growth}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2044
| Mankind genetically engineered to be happy
| Premise of the movie [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1363468/ Zenith] - further details are in the [https://www.filmjournal.com/filmjournal/content_display/esearch/e3i25130cd57f1590bda4527c098ac85b01 film review for Zenith.]
|
|-
| Childhood obesity reaches 100%
| [https://www.ivanhoe.com/channels/p_channelstory.cfm?storyid=11414 100-Percent Childhood Obesity Predicted by 2044]
|
|-
| 2045
| Humans and machines merge
| {{w|Ray Kurzweil}} predicts of a 'singularity' which will lead to a race of super intelligent beings.
|
|-
| 2046
| World's natural resources depleted
| [https://raphaelvanlaer.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/peak-uncertainty-when-will-we-run-out-of-fossil-fuels/ Peak uncertainty, when will we run out of fossil fuels?]
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2047
| World ruled by banks and corporations
| [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Future-Schlock-2047-RM-Krakoff-ebook/dp/B0039IT37Q Future Schlock - the story of a world turned upside down in 2047]
|
|-
| Tobacco industry fails
| [https://www.news.wisc.edu/16857 Experts: Big Tobacco dead by 2047, possibly sooner]
|
|-
| US begins using autonomous attack drones
| [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/aug/22/us-air-force-drones-pilots-afghanistan US Air Force prepares drones to end era of fighter pilots]
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2048
| Salt-water fish extinct from overfishing
| WWF report on [https://wwf.panda.org/about_our_earth/blue_planet/problems/problems_fishing/ unsustainable fishing.]
|
|-
| Unisex bathing suits cover body from shoulder to ankle
| [https://future.wikia.com/wiki/RyansWorld:_Bathing_Suits_of_the_Future RyansWorld: Bathing Suits of the Future]
|
|-
| Entire US population overweight
| [https://web.archive.org/web/20090321075605/https://thestatsblog.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/scientists-say-thin-people-face-extinction-in-united-states-everyone-will-be-overweight-by-2048-%E2%80%93-and-less-smart Scientists Say Thin People Face Extinction in United States: Everyone Will Be Overweight by 2048 – And Less Smart (archive)]
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2049
| $1,000 computer exceeds computational ability of humanity
| [https://www.americanbar.org/content/newsletter/publications/technology_e_report_home/2007_may_technotes.html TechNotes: Trends in Technology]
|
|-
| Singularity occurs
| [https://www.prismdecision.com/the-singularity-is-near The Singularity Is Near]
|
|-
| Fishing industry collapses
| This tends to happen when your food-stock is extinct{{citation needed}} - see WWF report on [https://wwf.panda.org/about_our_earth/blue_planet/problems/problems_fishing/ unsustainable fishing.]
|
|-
| rowspan="5"| 2050
| 80% of Earth's population lives in urban centers
| [https://infochangeindia.org/population/books-a-reports/80-of-world-population-will-soon-be-in-urban-areas.html 80% of world population will soon be in urban areas]
|
|-
| China controls space
| [https://books.google.com/books?id=op851Uf99LQC&dq=China+controls+space+2050&source=gbs_navlinks_s Space Science & Technology in China: A Roadmap to 2050]
|
|-
| Sex with robots possible
| [https://www.livescience.com/1951-forecast-sex-marriage-robots-2050.html Forecast: Sex and Marriage with Robots by 2050]
|
|-
| Cars banned from European cities
| [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/8411336/EU-to-ban-cars-from-cities-by-2050.html EU to ban cars from cities by 2050]
|
|-
| One million species extinct from climate change
| [https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/01/0107_040107_extinction.html By 2050 Warming to Doom Million Species, Study Says]
|
|-
| 2051
| Atmosphere escapes into space
| [https://www.thehulltruth.com/boating-outdoor-photos/255705-have-you-ever-seen-fallstreak-hole.html Conspiracy theory] relating to {{w|Fallstreak hole}} or hole punch clouds.
|
|-
| 2052
| Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security spending exceed total US revenue
| {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2053
| US budget balanced
| [https://crfb.org/blogs/omb-releases-long-term-projections-fy2015-budget-proposal OMB releases long-term projections for the FY2015 budget proposal]
|
|-
| Majority of Americans in prison
| [https://articles.philly.com/1992-06-14/news/26032105_1_prison-officials-prison-time-prison-commissioners 'Beyond Bricks And Bars' As Jails Overflow, The Lock-'em-up Credo Is Drawing Unlikely Criticism - From Prison Officials Themselves]
|
|-
| Cars driven by dogs
|
| This has [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWAK0J8Uhzk already occurred] in 2012! However, it is not as widespread as the prediction may be implying.
|-
| 2054
| Hunger becomes unimaginable global problem
| [https://www.albionmonitor.com/0403a/earth2054.html Hunger Could Be 'Unimaginable' Global Problem By 2054]
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2055
| Atmospheric CO2 doubled
| [https://cmi.princeton.edu/wedges/flash_intro.php Carbon Mitigation Initiative: Stabilization Wedges]
|
|-
| Oil runs out
| [https://raphaelvanlaer.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/peak-uncertainty-when-will-we-run-out-of-fossil-fuels/ Peak uncertainty, when will we run out of fossil fuels?]
|
|-
| Copper, tin, lead, gold, and nickel all exhausted
| [https://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/environment/5-valuable-metals-that-could-vanish-by-2055 5 Valuable Metals That Could Vanish by 2055]
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2056
| RFID-tagged driverless cars
| [https://www.zdnet.com/article/rfid-tagged-driverless-cars-on-roads-by-2056/ RFID-tagged driverless cars on roads by 2056]
|
|-
| Robots given same rights as humans
| [https://www.cc.gatech.edu/news/robots-given-same-rights-humans-2056 Robots Given Same Rights As Humans By 2056]
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2057
| 150 Japanese settlers on Mars
| [https://connection.ebscohost.com/c/articles/9011051292/will-japan-colonize-mars Will Japan colonize Mars?]
|
|-
| Colorado River runs dry
| [https://news.agu.org/press-release/colorado-river-reservoirs-could-bottom-out-from-warming-business-as-usual/ Colorado River Reservoirs Could Bottom Out From Warming]
|
|-
| 2058
| Smoking ends in New Zealand
| [https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10698966 Smoking to die out in NZ by 2058]
|
|-
| 2059
| Humans have domesticated robots
| [https://diehardempiricist.blogspot.co.nz/2012/05/6-may-2011-virtual-necking-demography.html Virtual necking, demography, and robots]
|
|-
| rowspan="4"| 2060
| Human race lives in peace
| [https://www.arasfoundation.org/vision.html ARAS vision/mission]
|
|-
| Extreme droughts across much of Earth
| [https://wdas.cosmosmagazine.com/news/extreme-drought-across-most-earth-30-years/ Extreme drought across most of Earth by 2060]
|
|-
| Global temperature rise reaches 4 °C
| {{w|Avoiding dangerous climate change}}
|
|-
| Oil runs out again
| [https://business.financialpost.com/2011/04/01/oil-may-run-out-by-2060-hsbc/?__lsa=98a7-5c61 Oil may run out by 2060: HSBC]
|
|-
| 2061
| Halley's comet returns
| Halley's comet returns to the inner solar system (the vicinity of earth and the sun) every 75.3 years. The last time it was near earth was in 1985-1986. When it next returns, its closest approach to the sun will occur on [https://ssd.jpl.nasa.gov/horizons.cgi 28 July 2061.]
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2062
| Uganda hosts World Cup
| [https://shillingscents.blogspot.co.nz/2010/07/uganda-to-host-world-cup-in-2062.html Uganda to host world cup in 2062]
|
|-
| The Jetsons
| {{w|The Jetsons}} was an animated science fiction sitcom that first aired in 1962. The show was set in the year 2062.
|
|-
| rowspan="4"| 2063
| First human clones reach adulthood
| [https://au.ign.com/articles/2004/04/28/the-fall-last-days-of-gaia-diary-2 The Fall - Last Days of Gaia Diary #2]
|
|-
| Population of Moon reaches 100,000
| Reading Eagle newspaper article from July 17, 1963 - [https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1955&dat=19630717&id=PhgrAAAAIBAJ&sjid=B50FAAAAIBAJ&pg=4055,6599008 Moon Population of 100,000 Is Predicted for 2063] and [https://www.paleofuture.com/blog/2008/3/14/air-force-predictions-for-2063-1963.html Air Force Predictions for 2063 (1963)]
|
|-
| Population of Mars reaches 10,000
| [https://www.paleofuture.com/blog/2008/3/14/air-force-predictions-for-2063-1963.html Air Force Predictions for 2063 (1963)]
|
|-
| Spacecraft exceed speed of light
| Physics as currently understood states that it is impossible to exceed the speed of light. A monumental shift in our physics would have had to have occurred for this to come true. This is a reference to the 8th Star Trek feature Film: "Star Trek: First Contact" where Zefram Cochrane performs the first human Warp Flight on April 5, 2063.
|
|-
| 2064
| Clean Air Act finishes reducing haze in national parks to natural levels
| [https://www.cleanhouston.org/air/features/hazyfuture.htm State plan guarantees a hazy future for Texas’ wilderness areas]
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2065
| Last coral reefs die out
| From an [https://www.edgeofexistence.org/coral_reef_conservation/coral_reef_video.php article about a video called Reefs on the Edge] set in 2065 where a 15-year-old girl tells her grandfather's stories of coral reefs, and their demise.
|
|-
| Chernobyl cleanup complete
| [https://rt.com/politics/chernobyl-clean-in-55-years-time/ Chernobyl clean in 55 years time?]
|
|-
| 2066
| Cyprus achieves its goal
| This is from some [https://www.cyprus-forum.com/cyprus33608-110.html#p665612 forum posts on the decendants of Cypriots] that lends support to the autonomy of Cyprus from Greek or Turkey.
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2067
| Americans live in domed cities and watch 3D TV
| The article at [https://blogs.lib.unc.edu/ncm/index.php/2013/11/15/artifact-of-the-month-slide-rule-1916/ Artifact of the Month: Slide rule, 1916] includes information from the International Slide Rule Museum that "in 1967, Keuffel & Esser Co. commissioned a study of the future, predicting that Americans in 2067 would live in domed cities and watch 3D television."
|
|-
| Redheads go extinct
| [https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/genetic/redhead-extinction.htm Are redheads going extinct?]
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2068
| Ozone hole over Antarctic finishes recovering
| [https://www.theozonehole.com/recovery.htm NASA Study Finds Clock Ticking Slower On Ozone Hole Recovery]
|
|-
| Lord Jesus rules the Earth from Throne in Jerusalem.
| [https://myth-one.com/chapter_8.htm The Resurrections -- What Really Happens]
|
|-
| Entire world population gay due to chemicals in the water
| [https://thedailybanter.com/2013/01/alex-jones-the-government-is-trying-to-make-more-gay-people/ Alex Jones talks about chemicals that make people gay]
|
|-
| 2069
| Public masturbation legalized
| [https://uncyclopedia.com/wiki/UnNews:It's_still_not_okay_to_Pull_Your_Penis_out_in_Public It's still not okay to Pull Your Penis out in Public]
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 2070
| World population peaks
| [https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn1108-global-population-to-peak-in-2070.html Global population to peak in 2070]
|
|-
| City-scale flooding disasters
| [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/earth/earthnews/3317033/City-scale-flooding-disasters-predicted-by-2070.html City-scale flooding disasters predicted by 2070]
|
|-
| 60% of world's energy comes from renewable sources
| [https://www.ssisolarenergy.com/solar-alternative-energy/ What Is Alternative Energy All About?]
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2071
| Europe's temperatures rise by 3 °C
| [https://www.umweltbundesamt.de/en/topics/climate-energy/climate-change-adaptation/adaptation-tools/project-catalog/peseta-projection-of-economic-impacts-of-climate Projection of Economic impacts of climate change in Sectors of the European Union based on bottom-up Analysis]
|
|-
| World summer temperatures rise by 5 °C
| [https://www.climateadaptation.eu/denmark/climate-change/ See "Air temperature changes in the 21st century"]
|
|-
| 2072
| US retirement age is set to 75
| [https://money.usnews.com/money/retirement/articles/2012/06/11/how-high-will-the-retirement-age-go Up to 70-80 years]
|
|-
| 2073
| Oceans do not rise one foot
| [https://www.skepticalscience.com/sea-level-rise-predictions.htm More like 2 feet]
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2074
| Number of 100-year-olds reaches one million
| [https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-8848188.html UK to have 1 million centenarians by 2074]
|
|-
| Supertyphoons hit Japan
| [https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2009/09/08/national/super-typhoons-in-store-as-seas-warm/ Super typhoons in store as seas warm]
|
|-
| 2075
| US retirement age set to 69
| [https://www.csmonitor.com/Business/Latest-News-Wires/2010/1112/Retirement-age-at-69-Deficit-plan-hits-Social-Security Retirement age at 69? Deficit plan hits Social Security]
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2076
| Average scientific paper has more than 24 authors
| [https://doclib.uhasselt.be/dspace/bitstream/1942/871/1/yitzhaki373.PDF Multiple Authorship in Biochemistry and Other Fields] (PDF)
|
|-
| Social Security trust fund exhausted
| {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}}
|
|-
| 2078
| Newspapers become obsolete and die out
| The same prediction was made for 2017 and 2022. Even when most prognosticators agree that something will happen, there can still be much disagreement about ''when'' it will happen.
|
|-
| rowspan="4"| 2079
| US debt reaches 716% of GDP
| {{w|US Debt}}
|
|-
| Lodgepole pines disappear from Northwest
| [https://oregonstate.edu/ua/ncs/archives/2011/feb/climate-change-causing-demise-lodgepole-pine-western-north-america Climate change causing demise of lodgepole pine in western North America]
|
|-
| Floods commonplace
| [https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/01/090108101627.htm Floods To Become Commonplace By 2080]
|
|-
| Religion marginalized
| https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-11347073
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2080
| Federal spending reaches 70% of GDP
| [https://crfb.org/sites/default/files/our_debt_problems_are_far_from_solved_updated_2.pdf Our debt problems are far from solved] (PDF)
|
|-
| UK population doubles
| [https://forums.canadiancontent.net/international-politics/69603-britains-population-hit-110-million.html Britain's population to hit 110 million]
|
|-
| 2082
| World population declines to one billion
| [https://www.paulchefurka.ca/Population.html Population: The Elephant in the Room]
|
|-
| 2084
| Robot policemen introduced
| [https://www.thetechherald.com/articles/Robotic-cops-set-to-stamp-out-crime-by-2084 Robotic cops set to stamp out crime by 2084]
|
|-
| 2085
| US deficit reaches 62% of GDP
| [https://moneybob.com/2010/06/28/paul-krugman-throws-in-towel-says-were-headed-for-another-depression/ Paul Krugman Throws In Towel, Says We’re Headed For Another Depression]
|
|-
| 2088
| Japan becomes all-robot country
| [https://www.theretributioners.tv/erics-blog/2009/11/25/-japan-to-become-all-robot-country-by-2088.html Japan To Become All Robot Country By 2088]
|
|-
| 2089
| World halts fossil fuel use
| {{w|Fossil Fuels}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 2090
| Global warming hits 7 °C
| [https://www.reportingclimatescience.com/news-stories/article/models-warn-of-7c-dangerous-climate-change-by-2090.html Models warn of 7C dangerous climate change by 2090]. Climate change, especially global warming, is a [[:Category:Climate change|recurring theme]] in xkcd.
|
|-
| Global warming hits 4 °C
| Summarized [https://www.global-warming-forecasts.com/2090-climate-change-global-warming-2090.php here]. In reference to Andy Bowers, “Analysis: Scientists say global warming could affect California's drinking water supply,” NPR All Things Considered, June 22, 2001
|
|-
| rowspan="11"| 2100
| Global warming around 5-7 °C
| [https://grist.org/article/bau-fd/ Hadley Center study warns of ‘catastrophic’ 5-7°C warming by 2100 on current emissions path]
|
|-
| Sea levels have risen by a meter or more
| {{w|Future sea level}}
|
|-
| Joshua trees nearly extinct
| [https://news.discovery.com/earth/joshua-trees-climate-change-110325.htm Joshua Trees Nearly Wiped Out by 2100?]
|
|-
| Earth's climate resembles that of the Cretaceous
| [https://www.pnas.org/content/107/2/576 Atmospheric CO2 concentrations during ancient greenhouse climates were similar to those predicted for A.D. 2100]
|
|-
| Germany tropical
| [https://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/climate-change-predictions-a-tropical-germany-by-2100-a-463378.html Climate Change Predictions: A Tropical Germany by 2100?]
|
|-
| Emperor penguins extinct
| [https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7851276.stm Emperor penguins face extinction]
|
|-
| Arctic permafrost thaws
| [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/surface-permafrost-could/ Surface Permafrost Could Disappear by 2100]
|
|-
| Rising seas flood coastal cities
| [https://uanews.org/story/rising-seas-will-affect-major-us-coastal-cities-2100 Rising Seas Will Affect Major U.S. Coastal Cities by 2100]
|
|-
| Rain forests mostly gone due to climatic shifts
| [https://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/08/06/890970/-Massive-Loss-of-Rainforest-Species-by-2100-eKos-Earthship-Friday Massive Loss of Rainforest Species by 2100]
|
|-
| All coral reefs gone
| [https://planetsave.com/2010/10/15/coral-reefs-gone-by-2100/ Coral Reefs Gone by 2100?]
|
|-
| Gillette introduces 14-bladed razor
| Each iteration of the Gillette line of safety razors has one more blade than the previous one. MadTV has also [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FAP8o5ZEo0 parodied] this. Over five years before MadTV did so, the Australian comedy group the D-Generation parodied the first two-bladed razor as the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YleuLyCUx28 Gillette 3000] with 16 blades.
|
|-
| 2101
| WAR WAS BEGINNING
| References {{w|Zero Wing}}, a 1989 Japanese computer game set in 2101, famous for poorly translated English and the source for "{{w|All your base are belong to us}}". See [[286: All Your Base]]
|
|}

==Transcript==

:<big>'''THE FUTURE'''</big>
:'''According to Google search results'''
:Events for each year determined by the first page of Google search results for the phrases:
:"By <year>" "In year"
:"By the year <year>" "In the year <year>"
:"Will * by the year <year>" "Will * in the year <year>"
:"In <year>, * will" "By <year>, * will"
:
:;2012
::World population reaches 7 billion
::Flying cars reach market
::Canada cuts greenhouse emissions to 6% below 1990 levels as per Kyoto
::Apocalypse occurs
:;2013
::National debt paid off through President Clinton's plans
::Microchipping of all Americans begins
::Homelessness ended in Massachusetts
::Health care reform law repealed
:;2014
::US leaves Afghanistan
::GNU/Linux becomes dominant OS
:;2015
::New Horizons reaches Pluto
::Health care law causes hyperinflation
::192 UN member nations achieve millennium development goals:
::*Extreme poverty and hunger eradicated
::*Universal primary education implemented
::*Women empowered, gender equality reached
::*Environmental stability ensured
:;2016
::Baby boomers begin turning 65
::Android takes 38% of the smartphone market
::Android takes 45% of the smartphone market
::Windows Phone overtakes iOS in smartphones
:;2017
::China completes unmanned Lunar sample-return mission
::Social Security stops running surplus
::US budget balanced
::Newspapers become obsolete and die out
::Cosmetic surgery doubles
:;2018
::Social Security stops running surplus
::Jesus returns to Earth
:;2019
::Social Security stops running surplus
::Every baby has genes mapped at birth
:;2020
::Solar power becomes cheaper than fossil fuels
::Keyboards and mice become obsolete
::New Tappan Zee bridge constructed
:;2021
::US debt reaches 97% of GDP
::US unemployment falls to 2.8%
::Restored caliphate unifies Middle East
::Lake Mead evaporates
:;2022
::Kilimanjaro snow-free
::HTML 5 finished
::Newspapers become obsolete and die out
:;2023
::Jesus returns to Earth (again)
::US debt passes 100% of GDP
::All unprotected ancient forests gone from Pacific Northwest
:;2024
::Atlantis begins to reappear
::Orangutans extinct in wild
::China lands men and women on the moon
::NASA sets up permanent moon base
::Female professionals pass males in pay
:;2025
::World population reaches 8 billion
::Two billion people face water shortages
::62 MPG cars introduced
::US power fades
:;2026
::Atlantis emerges completely
::Rock Bands die out
::US debt paid off
::Car accidents cease
::West coast falls into ocean
:;2027
::Japan introduces new fastest maglev train
::Lyndon Larouche-planned Mars colony established
::Social Security stops running surplus
:;2028
::Tobacco outlawed
::40% of coral reefs gone
::US debt paid off
::Social Security stops running surplus
:;2029
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
::Computers pass the Turing Test
::Aging reversed
::Wikipedia reaches 30 million articles
:;2030
::Half of Amazon rain forest lost to logging
::Cancer deaths double from 2008 levels
::Arctic ice-free in summer
:;2031
::Computers controlled by thought
::Realtors replaced by technology
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
:;2032
::"Big One" hits San Francisco
::US elects first married lesbian president
::Entire world converted to Christianity
:;2033
::Kilimanjaro ice disappears
::India becomes superpower
::Europe reaches Mars
:;2034
::US diabetes cases double, treatment costs triple
::US builds autonomous robot army
:;2035
::80% of America's energy comes from renewable sources
::Himalayan glaciers down 80% in size
::Arctic sea lane opens
:;2036
::80% of US has access to high-speed rail
::Asteroid Apophis hits/misses Earth
:;2037
::Arctic ice-free in September
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
:;2038
::32-bit timestamps role over, causing Y2K-level chaos
::"Big One" hits California
:;2039
::US population hits 400 million
::Severe heat waves become commonplace
::Scientology becomes majority religion in US
:;2040
::Arctic summers ice-free
::Nanotechnology makes humans immortal
:;2041
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
:;2042
:;2043
::World population passes 9 billion
:;2044
::Mankind genetically engineered to be happy
::Childhood obesity reaches 100%
:;2045
::Humans and machines merge
:;2046
::World's natural resources depleted
:;2047
::World ruled by banks and corporations
::Tobacco industry fails
::US begins using autonomous attack drones
:;2048
::Salt-water fish extinct from overfishing
::Unisex bathing suits cover body from shoulder to ankle
::Entire US population overweight
:;2049
::$1.000 computer exceeds computational ability of humanity
::Singularity occurs
::Fishing industry collapses
:;2050
::80% of Earth's population lives in urban centers
::China controls space
::Sex with robots possible
::Cars banned from European cities
::One million species extinct from climate change
:;2051
::Atmosphere escapes into space
:;2052
::Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security spending exceed total US revenue
:;2053
::US budget balanced
::Majority of Americans in prison
::Cars driven by dogs
:;2054
::Hunger becomes unimaginable global problem
:;2055
::Atmospheric CO2 doubled
::Oil runs out
::Copper, tin, lead, gold, and nickel all exhausted
:;2056
::RFID-tagged driverless cars
::Robots given same rights as humans
:;2057
::150 Japanese settlers on Mars
::Colorado River runs dry
:;2058
::Smoking ends in New Zealand
:;2059
::Humans have domesticated robots
:;2060
::Human race lives in peace
::Extreme droughts across much of Earth
::Global temperature rise reaches 4°C
::Oil runs out again
:;2061
::Halley's comet returns
:;2062
::Uganda hosts World Cup
::The Jetsons
:;2063
::First human clones reach adulthood
::Population of Moon reaches 100,000
::Population of Mars reaches 10,000
::Spacecraft exceed speed of light
:;2064
::Clean Air Act finishes reducing haze in national parks to natural levels
:;2065
::Last coral reefs die out
::Chernobyl cleanup complete
:;2066
::Cyprus achieves its goal
:;2067
::Americans live in domed cities and watch 3D TV
::Redheads go extinct
:;2068
::Ozone hole over Antarctic finishes recovering
::Lord Jesus rules the Earth from Throne in Jerusalem.
::Entire world population gay due to chemicals in the water
:;2069
::Public masturbation legalized
:;2070
::World population peaks
::City-scale flooding disasters
::60% of world's energy comes from renewable sources
:;2071
::Europe's temperatures rise by 3°C
::World summer temperatures rise by 5°C
:;2072
::US retirement age is set to 75
:;2073
::Oceans do not rise one foot
:;2074
::Number of 100-year-olds reaches one million
::Supertyphoons hit Japan
:;2075
::US retirement age set to 69
:;2076
::Average scientific paper has more than 24 authors
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
:;2077
:;2078
::Newspapers become obsolete and die out
:;2079
::US debt reaches 716% of GDP
::Lodgepole pines disappear from Northwest
::Floods commonplace
::Religion marginalized
:;2080
::Federal spending reaches 70% of GDP
::UK population doubles
:;2081
:;2082
::World population declines to one billion
:;2083
:;2084
::Robot policemen introduced
:;2085
::US deficit reaches 62% of GDP
:;2086
:;2087
:;2088
::Japan becomes all-robot country
:;2089
::World halts fossil fuel use
:;2090
::Global warming hits 7°C
::Global warming hits 4°C
:;2091
:;2092
:;2093
:;2094
:;2095
:;2096
:;2097
:;2098
:;2099
:;2100
::Global warming around 5-7°C
::Sea levels have risen by a meter or more
::Joshua trees nearly extinct
::Earth's climate resembles that of the Cretaceous
::Germany tropical
::Emperor penguins extinct
::Arctic permafrost thaws
::Rising seas flood coastal cities
::Rain forests mostly gone due to climatic shifts
::All coral reefs gone
::Gillette introduces 14-bladed razor
:;2101
::WAR WAS BEGINNING

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Earthquakes]]
[[Category:Climate change]]
[[Category:Singularity]]
[[Category:Renewable energy]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

2702: What If 2 Gift Guide

2025-03-22T08:21:52Z

Caralice: fix formatting

<noinclude>:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2702
| date = November 23, 2022
| title = What If 2 Gift Guide
| image = what_if_2_gift_guide_2x.png
| imagesize = 500x878px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = BABIES OR LITERATURE BUT NOT BOTH: Baby shoes
}}

==Explanation==

[[Randall]] is again promoting his new book, ''[https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ What If? 2]'', and starts by explaining the kind of recipient who might appreciate it, basically anyone who is into science or anything in the universe... So basically anyone.

Then he also gives both direct and humorously indirect instructions of how to obtain the book for them, the latter method making a jocular (but not completely wrong) presumption that almost any text-input widget leads to some relevant search-engine result. Also the entire comic is a link to the ''What If? 2'' page on xkcd that's included in the comic. As always, clicking anywhere on the image will take you there (including actually clicking on the link).

He also suggests some other tongue-in-cheek gift ideas for several other subtypes of gift-receiver, most of which are, in keeping with the ''What If'' ethos, somewhat dangerous or impractical. A number directly reference things previously mentioned or depicted by xkcd.

{| class="wikitable"
|+
|-
! Interest !! Gift Idea !! Explanation
|-
| Engineering || The {{w|International Prototype of the Kilogram|platinum cylinder}} formerly used to define the kilogram || This is an object of historical relevance of which only six exist, making it a very expensive or illegal gift. With the {{w|2019 redefinition of the SI base units|redefinition of the SI base units}} in 2019, {{w|2019_redefinition_of_the_SI_base_units#Kilogram|the kilogram}} is now defined using only natural constants rather than a physical standard. It took some time before this last SI unit was redefined, 3 years prior to this comic's release. The old prototypes are no longer as important as they were when they were actually used to define the kilogram. But they are still historical artifacts with enormous value, even apart from the value of their constituent elements (because they are 10% iridium in weight, about $46 000 per prototype as of 2024-05-29).
|-
| Biology || The genomes of the scientists who headed the human genome project || The "International Human Genome Sequencing Consortium," as the {{w|Human Genome Project}} team was known, involved scientists from twenty institutions in six countries. In the US, it was initially led by DNA structure co-discoverer {{w|James Watson}} who was succeeded by {{w|Francis Collins}}. In the UK, the project was led by {{w|John Sulston}}. The teams from other countries' institutions were less prominent and performed substantially less work on the initial sequencing. James Watson's genome was sequenced in 2007. The genome of {{w|Craig Venter}}, the CEO of {{w|Celera Genomics}}, was used as the exemplar for Celera’s sequence. While the “race” between Celera and NIH was declared a tie by then-President Clinton, in actuality, Celera had some 85+% coverage while NIH was about 50%.
|-
| Physics || A beam of neutrinos delivered through the earth by the LHC || {{w|Neutrino}}s interact very weakly with other particles, to the point that they almost always pass straight through matter completely unaffected. This means that particle accelerators (such as the {{w|Large Hadron Collider}}, or LHC) can send neutrinos to any other point on Earth by aiming the particle beam into the ground, and the neutrinos pass straight through the Earth. This point is referenced in the What-If article "{{what if|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}". The low interactivity of neutrinos would also mean that the recipient would be unable to perceive their gift, making this a poor present for anyone except the small proportion of physics aficionados who already have a neutrino detector on-hand.
|-
| Animals || Surprise wildlife encounter (gift-wrapped box with a bobcat inside) || This is a reference to [[:Category:Bobcats|xkcd's rich history of mailing boxed bobcats to people]]. This gift would place the recipient in a perilous situation, and, although definitely a wildlife encounter, is not a good gift.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Law || A vacation to that area of Idaho where you can commit crimes with impunity due to a court district boundary error || This refers to the "{{w|Zone of Death (Yellowstone)|Zone of Death}}", a 50-square-mile area of Yellowstone National Park that is in the physical boundaries of Idaho, but in the legal jurisdiction of Wyoming. Because a jury in the United States must be composed of residents of the same district ''and'' state in which the crime was committed, but no one lives in this small area of a National Park, anyone who committed a crime here could not (according to a legal theory not fully tested in the courts) receive a trial, and thus could not legally be punished for said crime in any circumstance. This is an interesting legal loophole, but going to this area does not provide any more value than hearing about it, and could scare your law-enthusiast friend.
|-
| Chemistry || A necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out the recipient's name (note: names like "Katherine" and "Brandon" may cause radiation accidents.) || Novelty necklaces are a common and innocuous gift. The {{w|Periodic Table}} traditionally represents each of the chemical elements with a one or two letter symbol. Using these symbols to replace letters in a name is a common gimmick (famously used in the title and credits of {{w|Breaking Bad}}). Using real samples of the given elements could be difficult, as elements can be expensive, highly reactive, or toxic, and some are gaseous or liquid at room temperature. Reactivity and toxicity can be dealt with by containing them in well-sealed containers, which would also be necessary for non-solids. Radioactive elements, on the other hand, could be dangerous even if well contained, and some have half-lives too short to make them a practical gift. Spelling "Katherine" entirely with elemental symbols requires using {{W|astatine}} (whose symbol is "At"), and "Brandon" would require {{W|radium}} (with the symbol Ra). Neither of these elements have stable forms, and both would put out dangerous amounts of radiation. If worn as a necklace (and thus constantly near human flesh), even a small sample of either of these would be dangerous. Additionally, the letters J and Q do not appear in the standard periodic table symbols, while M does not appear on its own (only followed by six other characters, with "o" as the only vowel amongst them), so a name like John, Quinn or Mike would be problematic.
|-
| Puzzles || Two goats and a new car || This is a reference to the "{{w|Monty Hall problem}}", in which a game show contestant has to choose between three doors, two of which conceal goats and one of which conceals a car, and wins whatever prize is revealed. (See [[1282: Monty Hall]], for another cartoon inspired by this problem.) This gift places the recipient within a puzzle which is typically discussed hypothetically rather than happening in real life. Although many people would consider a new car a ''great'' gift, those who would appreciate a gift of goats are less common.
|-
| Technology || Cybiko® wireless handheld computer for teens (2000) || This is a direct callback to [[2699: Feature Comparison|one of the previous week's comics]], which humorously suggested that this device is a better option than most of the current popular communication technologies. While an interesting example of the history of communication technology and coming from a time when experimentation was common and standards were few, it isn't very useful now, because it is no longer supported, has a communication range of 100 meters (sending text messages via radio) and one can only use it to communicate with users of the same device. However, technology enthusiasts could find it interesting as a collectors' item, so by all means it is one of the most plausible gift ideas on this list.
|-
| Space || Webb telescope personal photoshoot || The Webb telescope belongs to NASA, the ESA and the CSA, and is currently very far from Earth. It is designed to capture distant space objects in previously unseen detail. If the photoshoot implies photographing a nearby human, it is not designed to do this, even if the difficulties of sending a human about a million miles to its location could be overcome. On the other hand, if it means photographing the recipient on the earth's surface, Webb would have to point at the warm Earth and expose its optics to the Sun, permanently crippling the telescope ([https://webb.nasa.gov/content/about/faqs/faqLite.html Which is forbidden by NASA.]) and it would not have sufficient resolution to make out the subject in any case. These circumstances make it a highly impractical gift, to all intents and purposes to the point of impossibility.

On the other hand, a gift experience of being allowed to take your own snapshot of Webb in position, perhaps with a [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-10442913/James-Webb-Space-Telescope-seen-Earth-settles-orbit.html robotic telescope], might be an attractive gift to a space enthusiast! So might a chance to use the Webb telescope to take pictures of whatever celestial objects one chooses, as time on the Webb telescope is very carefully allocated.
|-
| Literature || Stephen King's writing desk (he's still using it so you'll have to fight him) || {{w|Stephen King}} is an author lucky enough to have legendary status while still alive. The desk of a famous author who has died would become an object of historic significance and would likely be either kept for exhibition or auctioned by their respective estate, but as Stephen King is still alive, he would probably object to his desk being subjected to the same.
|-
| Philosophy || Out-of-control trolley || This is another gift that places the recipient in the situations that they like discussing hypothetically. The {{w|trolley problem}} is a thought experiment in which one is asked to decide between allowing a trolley to kill five people or taking an action that causes it to kill one. Presenting someone with such a hypothetical problem may or may not be not a good gift, but [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sl5KJ69qiA forcing them to live through it in real life] is a terrible gift. (See [[1455: Trolley Problem]] for another cartoon inspired by this problem.)
|-
| Psychology || A nice gift with a note saying you don't expect anything in return || This unkind attempt at psychological manipulation is intended as a joke, and is not a viable option on this list. Unlike normal gift giving, which could induce the Benjamin Franklin effect, causing the gift giver to like the recipient more, explicitly stating that the giver doesn't expect anything is an attempt to manipulate or guilt-trip the recipient (as is common for people with personality disorders) by increasing pressure to reciprocate. The joke here comes from the idea of giving a psychologist a note relating to the psychology of gift-giving, manipulation, and personality disorders, but this would not be to their enjoyment and should not be done in real life.
|-
| (Title text) Babies or literature but not both || Baby shoes || This is a reference to the six-word story {{w|For sale: baby shoes, never worn}}, sometimes falsely attributed to Ernest Hemingway. Someone involved with babies, such as expecting or new parents, would find baby shoes a valuable gift for their child. Someone interested in literature would see the reference to a famous work. But someone who understands the reference and also enjoys babies might be sad, since the story implies the seller was expecting a baby but something went tragically wrong. This story was previously the subject of [[1540: Hemingway]].
|}

==Transcript==

What If? 2 Gift Guide

What if? 2 makes a good gift for anyone who's into science, absurd ideas, or just the universe in general. To order, go to xkcd.com/whatif2, or just type "what if 2" into some random box on your device; it will probably work.

Here are some other gift ideas for hard-to-shop-for science enthusiasts:

Interest - Gift Idea

Engineering - The platinum cylinder formerly used to define the kilogram 
Biology - The genomes of the scientists who headed the human genome project 
Physics - A beam of neutrinos delivered through the earth by the LHC 
Animals - Surprise wildlife encounter (gift-wrapped box with a bobcat inside) 
Law - A vacation to that area of Idaho where you can commit crimes with impunity due to a court district boundary error 
Chemistry - A necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out the recipient's name (note: names like "Katherine" and "Brandon" may cause radiation accidents.) 
Puzzles - Two goats and a new car 
Technology - Cybiko® Wireless Handheld Computer for Teens (2000) 
Space - Webb telescope personal photoshoot 
Literature - Stephen King's writing desk (he's still using it so you'll have to fight him) 
Philosophy - Out-of-control trolley 
Psychology - A nice gift with a note saying you don't expect anything in return. 

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Book promotion]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Bobcats]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Telescopes]]
[[Category:Photography]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Psychology]]
[[Category:What If?]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

2672: What If? 2 Flowchart

2025-03-22T08:21:09Z

Caralice: fix formatting

<noinclude>:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2672
| date = September 13, 2022
| title = What If? 2 Flowchart
| image = what_if_2_flowchart_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x729px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Don't worry, the dogs are all fine. That's actually kind of the problem.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic celebrates the release of [[Randall|Randall's]] new book, ''[[What If? 2]]'', which was released on the same day as this comic: Tuesday, September 13, 2022. The comic thus appeared on a Tuesday, replacing that week's normal Wednesday release to coincide with the release day. The [[Header text|header text]] also [[Header text#2022-09-13 - What if? 2 is available now|changed that day]] to shout out that the book was released on that day. (It had been counting down the last week, from [[Header text#2022-09-07 - Less than one week to What if? 2 comes out|less than a week]], [[Header text#2022-09-12 - Three days to What if? 2 comes out|three days]] and [[Header text#2022-09-12 - One day to What if? 2 comes out|one day]] while the previous comics [[2670: Interruption]] and [[2671: Rotation]] was on the front page — the latter only for one day due to the Tuesday release).

While announcing that his '''What If? 2''' book is finally out (the entire comic is a [https://xkcd.com/whatif2 link] to the books page on xkcd), Randall gives us a flowchart we can follow to find an article in the book relating to the situation in the flowchart. Once a relevant possibility is reached in the flowchart a page number in the book is given. It thus assumes the reader plans to do something that the advice in '''What If 2''' could be helpful for, which hopefully is highly unlikely. See the [[#Table of questions in the flowchart|table below]] for explanations on the individual options in the flowchart.

The title text refers to the loop near the bottom of the flowchart, which involves a series of questions asking if the reader wants a progressively larger number of dogs. The number of dogs offered increases several times, and if that is sufficient the flowchart ends with fulfillment. Eventually it will have an option for the scenario where all in the universe is consumed by dogs, which directs to page 308 of the book. The title text references this last option by assuring the reader that all of the dogs are doing fine, but goes on to state that in itself could cause problems. For instance, those dogs could impede the progress of all life on Earth and elsewhere and/or reproduce and create an even larger population of dogs.

==Table of questions in the flowchart==
The flowchart questions and their possible answers are described in the following table(Also in [[2672: What If? 2 Flowchart/Table]]):
{| class="wikitable"
! Text
! Connected
!Reference
|-
| Congratulations, you have acquired a copy of ''What if? 2!'' (out today, [https://xkcd.com/whatif2 xkcd.com/whatif2])
| What do you want to do today?
|
|-
| rowspan="3" | What do you want to do today?
| I don't know: Reflect on your life
|
|-
| Go to neighborhood party: Do you like your neighbor?
|
|-
| Brunch: Where do you go?
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Do you like your neighbor?
| Yes: '''Page 78'''
| Chapter 17: Swing Set
|-
| No: What do you want to bring?
|
|-
| rowspan="4" | What do you want to bring?
| Jupiter: '''Page 70'''
| Chapter 15: Jupiter Comes To Town
|-
| Iron vapor: '''Page 18'''
| Diagram of iron released into atmosphere by various sources
|-
| Weird Opinions: Do you think bugs should get paid?
|
|-
| My fake identity: Have you committed any crimes?
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Do you think bugs should get paid?
| Yes: '''Page 96'''
| Short answer question on how much money bugs would make if paid what they contribute to the US economy
|-
| No: Reflect on your life
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Where do you go?
| The sun: Are you wearing sunscreen?
|
|-
| A diner: How do you get there?
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Are you wearing sunscreen?
| Yes: '''Page 319'''
| Chapter 62: Sunscreen
|-
| No: How do you want to visit?
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | How do you want to visit?
| Briefly, via teleporter: '''Page 314'''
| Chapter 61: Into the Sun
|-
| I want to land a probe on the surface: '''Page 323'''
| Chapter 63: Walking on the Sun
|-
| rowspan="3" | How do you get there?
| Helicopter: Where do you sit in the helicopter?
|
|-
| Plane: '''Page 83''', Are you flying near any strong magnets?
| Chapter 18: Airliner Catapult
|-
| Car: How do you want to drive?
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Where do you sit in the helicopter?
| On the rotor: '''Page 6'''
| Chapter 2: Helicopter Ride
|-
| Inside: Are you flying near any strong magnets?
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Are you flying near any strong magnets?
| Yes: '''Page 171'''
| Last page of Chapter 32: MRI Compass
|-
| No: Okay, there's the diner!
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Okay, there's the diner!
| Keep driving forever: '''Page 128'''
| Chapter 25: Tire Rubber; likely a mistake. Should be Page 22; Chapter 5: Cosmic Road Trip
|-
| Stop: What food do you order?
|
|-
| rowspan="5" | What food do you order?
| The sun: '''Page 303'''
| Short Answers Section, what would a star taste like
|-
| Breadsticks: '''Page 299'''
| Short Answers Section, how slow to chew in order to infinitely eat breadsticks
|-
| Ammonia: '''Page 284'''
| Chapter 57: Ammonia Tube
|-
| A cloud: '''Page 195'''
| Chapter 38: Eat a Cloud
|-
| Soup: How much soup?
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | How much soup?
| 1 bowl: '''Page 197'''
| illustration of various food volumes with air removed
|-
| 1040 bowls: '''Page 1'''
| Chapter 1: Soupiter
|-
| rowspan="3" | How do you want to drive?
| Fast: '''Page 180'''
| Chapter 35: No Rules Nascar
|-
| With a bird: '''Page 171'''
| Last page of Chapter 32: MRI Compass, likely a mistake. Should be Page 176; Chapter 34: Bird Car
|-
| Normal: Does this road lead to Rome?
|
|-
| rowspan="3" | Does this road lead to Rome?
| Yes: Pick a different road
|
|-
| No, but it should: '''Page 154'''
| Chapter 29: Build Rome in a Day
|-
| No: Okay, there's the diner!
|
|-
| Pick a different road
| Does this road lead to Rome?
|
|-
| rowspan="3" | What do you really want to do?
| I want to shoot a laser at a sorceress: '''Page 43'''
| Chapter 9, can I shoot a laser around the Earth
|-
| I want to tell people things about eggs: What kinds of things about eggs?
|
|-
| I want a dog: Get a dog
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | What kinds of things about eggs?
| True things: '''Page 300'''
| Short Answer Section, can you make an egg float by filling it with helium
|-
| False things: '''Page 258'''
| Chapter 52: One paragraph reveals that this course of action would be illegal in California, but fine elsewhere
|-
| Get a dog
| Are you satisfied?
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Are you satisfied?
| Yes: '''Fulfillment!'''
|
|-
| No, I think we need more dogs: Get more dogs
|
|-
| Get more dogs
| Enough? (1)
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Enough? (1)
| Yes: '''Fulfillment!'''
|
|-
| No. You can never have too many dogs: More dogs
|
|-
| More dogs
| Enough? (2)
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Enough? (2)
| Yes: Fulfillment!
|
|-
| No. You can literally never have too many dogs. We should not stop until all that exists in the cosmos has been consumed by a happy, barking mass: '''Page 308'''
| Chapter 60: Dog Overload
|-
| rowspan="3" | Have you committed any crimes?
| Not sure: '''Page 255'''
| Chapter 52: Read All The Laws
|-
| Yes: Travel back in time to undo your crimes
|
|-
| No: Do you want to?
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | Do you want to?
| No: '''Page 255'''
| Chapter 52: Read All The Laws
|-
| Yes: '''Page 258'''
| Header: Do I Have To Read All These Laws (section within Chapter 52: Read All The Laws)
|-
| Travel back in time to undo your crimes
| '''Page 277'''
| Chapter 56: Walking Backward in Time
|}

==Transcript==
:[A large flowchart, with the first box in the top left corner.]
:Box 1: Congratulations, you have acquired a copy of '''''What if? 2!''''' (out today, xkcd.com/whatif2)
::[Arrow to Box 2]
:Box 2: What do you want to do today?
::[Arrow to Box 3] I don't know
::[Arrow to Box 4] Go to neighborhood party
::[Arrow to Box 5] Brunch
:Box 3: Reflect on your life
::[Arrow to Box 6]
:Box 4: Do you like your neighbor?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 78'] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 7] No
:Box 5: Where do you go?
::[Arrow to Box 8] The Sun
::[Arrow to Box 9] A diner
:Box 6: What do you really want to do?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 43'] I want to shoot a laser at a sorceress
::[Arrow to Box 10] I want a dog
::[Arrow to Box 11] I want to tell people things about eggs
:Box 7: What do you want to bring?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 70'] Jupiter
::[Arrow to Box 12] Weird opinions
::[Arrow to Box 13] My fake identity
:Box 8: Are you wearing sunscreen?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 319'] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 14] No
:Box 9: How do you get there?
::[Arrow to Box 15] Helicopter
::[Arrow to Box 16 with the words 'page 83'] Plane
::[Arrow to Box 17] Car
:Box 10: Get a dog
::[Arrow to Box 18]
:Box 11: What kinds of things about eggs?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 300'] True things
::[Arrow to the words 'page 258', same words as from Box 19] False things
:Box 12: Do you think bugs should get paid?
::[Arrow to Box 3] No
::[Arrow to the words 'page 96'] Yes
:Box 13: Have you commited any crimes?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 255', same words as from Box 19] Not sure
::[Arrow to Box 19] No
::[Arrow to Box 20] Yes
:Box 14: How do you want to visit?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 314'] Briefly, via teleporter
::[Arrow to the words 'page 323'] I want to land a probe on the surface
:Box 15: Where do you sit in the helicopter?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 6'] On the rotor
::[Arrow to Box 16] Inside
:Box 16: Are you flying near any strong magnets?
::[Arrow to Box 21] No
::[Arrow to the words 'page 171'] Yes
:Box 17: How fast do you want to drive?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 180'] Fast
::[Arrow to Box 22] Normal
::[Arrow to the words 'page 176'] With a bird
:Box 18: Are you satisfied?
::[Arrow to the word 'Fulfillment!', same word as from Boxes 26 and 29]
::[Arrow to Box 23] No. I think we need more dogs.
:Box 19: Do you want to?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 255', same words as from Box 13] No
::[Arrow to the words 'page 258', same words as from Box 11] Yes
:Box 20: Travel back in time to undo your crimes
::[Arrow to the words 'page 277']
:Box 21: Okay, there's the diner!
::[Arrow to the words 'page 128'] Keep driving forever
::[Arrow to Box 24] Stop
:Box 22: Does this road lead to Rome?
::[Arrow to Box 25] Yes
::[Arrow to the words 'page 154'] No, but it should
::[Arrow to Box 21] No
:Box 23: Get more dogs
::[Arrow to Box 26]
:Box 24: What food do you order?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 303'] The Sun
::[Arrow to the words 'page 299'] Breadsticks
::[Arrow to Box 27] Soup
::[Arrow to the words 'page 284'] Ammonia
::[Arrow to the words 'page 195'] A cloud
:Box 25: Pick a different road
::[Arrow to Box 22]
:Box 26: Enough?
::[Arrow to the word 'Fulfillment!', same word as from Boxes 18 and 29] Yes
::[Arrow to Box 28] No. You can never have too many dogs.
:Box 27: How much soup?
::[Arrow to the words 'page 197'] 1 bowl
::[Arrow to the words 'page 1'] 1040 bowls
:Box 28: More dogs
::[Arrow to Box 29]
:Box 29: Enough?
::[Arrow to the word 'Fulfillment!', same word as from Boxes 18 and 26]
::[Arrow to the words 'page 308] No. You can literally never have too many dogs. We should not stop until all that exists has been consumed by a happy, barking mass.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Book promotion]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]
[[Category:What If?]]

2636: What If? 2 Countdown

2025-03-22T08:20:17Z

Caralice: fix formatting

<noinclude>:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2636
| date = June 22, 2022
| title = What If? 2 Countdown
| image = what_if_2_countdown.png
| titletext = If you don't end the 99 Bottles of Beer recursion at N=0 it just becomes The Other Song That Never Ends.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic takes the idea of {{w|advent calendar}}s to the extreme. It uses absurd and obscure ways to measure the amount of time until [[Randall]]'s new book [https://xkcd.com/whatif2 ''What if? 2''] is released, with esoteric units and esoteric numbers. See explanation of each day in the [[#Table of the calendar countdown|table below]]. Some concepts that appear multiple times throughout the calendar are:

* '''{{w|SI prefixes}}''', which can be applied to the beginning of a unit's name to multiply or divide the unit by powers of 10 or 1,000. This is standard for units like meters and grams, but is rarely applied to measurements of time other than when a unit of less than one second is needed, most commonly in various fields of science and engineering such as physics and electronics.
* The '''{{w|Gettysburg Address}}''', a famous speech delivered by U.S. president Abraham Lincoln in 1863, where he began by referring to the signing of the Declaration of Independence taking place "four score and seven years ago". A score is a dated term for the number 20, so "four score and seven" is equivalent to 87.
* A '''dog year''' is traditionally considered to be one-seventh the length of a normal human year, since a dog's overall lifespan is roughly one-seventh of a typical human's. The comic applies this to other units of time, such as minutes and months, each of which is also one-seventh the length of the standard unit. The number seven (traditionally a "lucky number") is also used in many of the numbers quoted in the calendar.
* Other comparative durations of time that are not normally or usefully applied to day-length multiples. At the top end, there is the age of the universe, at the other there is {{w|Planck units#Planck time|Planck-time}} – with entire durations of periods of human history and the time needed to watch popular TV/film franchises in-between – most of which require a non-trivial multiplier or divisor to bring them to the necessary scale required.
* A '''{{w|baker's dozen}}''' is 13, or one more than a normal dozen. Here, the "baker's" prefix can be applied to any unit by adding an extra one of its constituent parts, like an extra hour added to a day.
* '''{{w|Irrational numbers}}''' like {{w|pi}} (3.14159...), {{w|Euler's number}} or ''e'' (2.71828...), the {{w|golden ratio}} (1.61803...), and the {{w|square root of 2}} (1.41421...). These are all interesting numbers because of their mathematical properties, but very impractical to use as arbitrary measurements of time because they have an endless series of non-repeating decimal digits.
* The teenage dating game '''{{w|Seven minutes in heaven}}'''.
* Rotational and orbital periods of various bodies in the Solar System.
* The song {{w|99 Bottles of Beer}} is also used twice in the calendar, as the one after a full week and then for the final day before release.

The title text refers to the recursive time period on the final day before release, September 12, where the 99 Bottles of Beer song is sung 99 times, but with one less verse every time (so 99 verses the first time, 98 verses the second, 97, 96 ... 2 and 1 the last). If you don't stop when you reach N=0 bottles, the repetition never ends, so that time interval becomes infinite. He then calls it "The Other Song That Never Ends", comparing it to ''{{w|The Song That Never Ends}}''. That song is a repetitive children's song, which is specifically intended to go on forever. The difference is that the Beer song has a natural stopping point at 0, while ''The Song That Never Ends'' is [https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiEz97RkZT5AhXpk4sKHRs8C2wQyCl6BAgLEAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dxz6OGVCdov8&usg=AOvVaw2dI8Q_thXRfS6MUtq1NerU completely repetitive].

===Table of the calendar countdown===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Days left !! Date !! Duration specified !! Duration in days !! Explanation
|-
| 83 || Jun 22 || πe millidecades || 82.03 days || π ≈ 3.14159, ''e'' ≈ 2.718, so πe is about 22.459. A millidecade is 1/1,000 decade, or 1/100 year, or 3.652425 days. Multiplying these results is 82.03 days.
|-
| 82 || Jun 23 || 7 megaseconds || 81.02 days || 7,000,000 seconds. 60*60*24 = 86,400 seconds in a day, so 7,000,000/86,400 ≈ 81.02 days
|-
| 81 || Jun 24 || ''e'' lunar months || 80.27 days || A lunar month ≈ 29.53059 days, ''e'' ≈ 2.718, so 29.53059*2.718 ≈ 80.26 days.
|-
| 80 || Jun 25 || 60 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris || 79.5 days || {{w|Foucault's pendulum}} demonstrates Earth's revolution, with the one at the latitude of Paris completing a full rotation every 31.8 hours.
|-
| 79 || Jun 26 || 8 milligenerations || 78.89 days || A generation is in general 22-33 years, with a reasonable mid-point of 27; and 8 x 0.001 (milli) x 365.2425 (accounting for leap years) x 27 ≈ 78.89 days
|-
| 78 || Jun 27 || 777,777 dog minutes || 77.16 days || A popular myth is that dogs age seven times faster than humans, so one dog minute equals 1/7 human minutes.
|-
| 77 || Jun 28 || 7! episodes of ''Jeopardy!'' (skipping ads) || 77+ days || 7! = 7x6x5x4x3x2x1 = 5040. The standard episode of ''Jeopardy!'' is 22-26 minutes, skipping ads. At 22 minutes each the total is 110,880 minutes, or exactly 77 days. The title of ''Jeopardy!'' has an exclamation mark at the end, similar to the factorial notation used.
|-
| 76 || Jun 29 || 5,000 repeats of ''99 Bottles of Beer'' || 76.39 days || Each verse of {{w|99 Bottles of Beer}} is "''N'' bottles of beer on the wall, ''N'' bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, ''N-1'' bottles of beer on the wall." The entire song contains 99 verses. Randall apparently sings this rather slowly at around 72 bpm, taking about 13 seconds per verse. It can be done somewhat faster as [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FITjBet3dio shown here], where the 99 verses take less than 17.5 minutes for 10.6 second per verse. Then it would only take two months, or 61 days – 15 days too few.
|-
| 75 || Jun 30 || 5 baker's fortnights || 75 days || A {{w|baker's dozen}} is a dozen (12) plus one extra item. Randall has generalized this to adding one to any unit. A fortnight is 14 days (or more properly "{{w|Fortnight|fourteen ''nights''}}", by its original use), so a baker's fortnight is 15 days. 5x15 is 75 days.
|-
| 74 || Jul 1 || √2 dog years || 73.79 days || See day 78 (Jun 27). 1.4142 × (365 / 7)
|-
| 73 || Jul 2 || π millivics (1/1000th of Queen Victoria's reign) || 72.97 days || {{w|Queen Victoria}} ruled between 20 June 1837 and 22 January 1901 (23,226 days). 3.14159 × 23.226
|-
| 72 || Jul 3 || 42 drives from NYC to LA (Google Maps estimate) || 71.75 days || According to Google Maps, the drive from New York City to Los Angeles via I-80 W (2789 miles or 4489 km) takes 41 hours.
|-
| 71 || Jul 4 || 1,000 viewings of ''Groundhog Day''|| 70.14 days || Using {{w|Groundhog Day (film)|Groundhog Day's}} 101-minute run time.
|-
| 70 || Jul 5 || 100,000 minutes || 69.44 days || 1,440 minutes per day
|-
| 69 || Jul 6 || 1/10th of Martian year || 68.70 Earth days || Martian sidereal and tropical years both round to 687.0 Earth days
|-
| 68 || Jul 7 || 1,234,567 sound-miles || 67.63 days || The speed of sound in air depends on the temperature. 15°C or 59°F gives the value 340 m/s and the travel time of 67.6349058 days.
|-
| 67 || Jul 8 || 2πe seconds || 66.74 days || 2^(π^e) = 5,766,073 seconds. The order of operations for multiple exponentiations without parentheses is top-first.
|-
| 66 || Jul 9 || 216 beats (Swatch Internet Time) || 65.54 days || A "{{w|.beat}}" is equal to 1/1,000 day.
|-
| 65 || Jul 10 || 1,000 ISS orbits || 64.58 days || Each orbit of the ISS takes 90-93 minutes. Here a value of 93 minutes is used.
|-
| 64 || Jul 11 || 🎵🎶🎵 Five hundred twenty five thousand (base seven) minutes|| 62.88 days || This refers to {{w|radix}}-7 arithmetic: 525,0007 minutes = 90,55210 minutes (5 × 7^5 + 2 × 7^4 + 5 × 7^3). Also references the opening and recurring line "Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes" from {{w|Seasons of Love}}, a song from the musical {{w|Rent (musical)|''Rent''}}, which is also referenced in [[1047: Approximations]]. "Base seven" has the same rhythm as "six hundred".
|-
| 63 || Jul 12 || 1050 Planck times || 62.38 days || 10^50 x 5.39 x 10^-44 seconds. The powers of 10 can be simplified, thus 5.39 × 10^6
|-
| 62 || Jul 13 || 4,000 episodes of ''The Office'' (skipping ads)|| 61.11 days || {{w|The Office (British TV series)|''The Office''}} was originally a {{w|BBC}} television show which had no commercial breaks, so Randall must be referring to the later {{w|The Office (American TV series)|US version}}, which is logical as he's American. This US "half-hour" comedy format contains 22 minutes of content (including the title sequence) and eight minutes of ads. There are only 201 distinct episodes of the US version, so watching 4,000 episodes would require a lot of re-watching. 
|-
| 61 || Jul 14 || Four score and seven kilominutes || 60.42 days || 87 x 1,000 minutes
|-
| 60 || Jul 15 || 2 lunar months || 59.06 days || There are a number of different ways to define the {{w|lunar month}}. The most common is the synodic month because it relates to the phases of the moon, and it's approximately 29.53 days.
|-
| 59 || Jul 16 || Half a day on Venus || 58.38 Earth days || A Venus synodic day is 116 days 18 hours.
|-
| 58 || Jul 17 || 5 megaseconds || 57.87 days || 5,000,000 seconds
|-
| 57 || Jul 18 || 30 microLits (1/1,000,000th of the time since the invention of literature) || 57.21 days || 3200 BCE is the approximate date of pre-Sumerian proto writing as given in {{w|History of writing|Wikipedia's article on the history of writing}}. 5,222 years × 30 × 10-6.
|-
| 56 || Jul 19 || 1,000 viewings of ''Run Lola Run'' || 55.57 days || Using {{w|Run Lola Run|the movie's}} run time of 80 minutes.
|-
| 55 || Jul 20 || One million sound-miles || 54.78 days || The speed of sound in air depends on the temperature. 15 °C or 59 °F gives the value 340 m/s and the travel time of 54.7843137 days.
|-
| 54 || Jul 21 || 30 Ionian months || 53.07 Earth days || Orbital period of Io around Jupiter is approximately 1.77 days.
|-
| 53 || Jul 22 || One dog year || 52.18 days || See day 78 (Jun 27). 365.2425 / 7
|-
| 52 || Jul 23 || 60 viewings of ''Star Wars Episodes I-IX'' || 51.75 days || According to [https://dorksideoftheforce.com/2021/05/04/how-long-to-watch-every-star-wars-movie/ Fansided] the combined running times are 20 hours 42 minutes.
|-
| 51 || Jul 24 || 1/100,000,000,000th of the universe's age || 50.40 days || The universe is estimated to be about 13.8 billion years old.
|-
| 50 || Jul 25 || 5 milli-generations || 49.3 days || See day 79 (Jun 26). 5 × (27 × 365.2425) / 1,000
|-
| 49 || Jul 26 || 10,000 games of ''7 minutes in Heaven'' or seven games of ''10,000 minutes in Heaven'' || 48.61 days || {{w|Seven minutes in heaven}} is an Anglo-culture teenager game, occuring in several movies. 10,000 minutes in Heaven is almost a week of making out (or doing whatever) in a closet, so this game is unlikely.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| 48 || Jul 27 || φeπ minutes || 47.41 days || Phi (the golden ratio) to the power of e to the power of pi. 1.618 ^ (2.718 ^ 3.14159) = 68,284.14 minutes
|-
| 47 || Jul 28 || 4 megaseconds || 46.30 days || 4,000,000 seconds
|-
| 46 || Jul 29 || 216 minutes || 45.51 days || 65,536 minutes
|-
| 45 || Jul 30 || eee seconds || 44.15 days || 3,814,279.10 seconds
|-
| 44 || Jul 31 || π fortnights|| 43.98 days || 3.14159 x 14 days
|-
| 43 || Aug 1 || One devil's spacewalk (666 orbits of the ISS) || 43.01 days || See day 65 (Jul 10). 666 is the {{w|number of the beast}}. 666 × 93 minutes.
|-
| 42 || Aug 2 || 1 kilowatt-hour per watt || 41.66 days || 1,000 hours
|-
| 41 || Aug 3 || eπ Ionian months || 40.93 Earth days || Orbital period of Io around Jupiter is 1.769137786 days. 2.718 ^ 3.14159 × 1.769
|-
| 40 || Aug 4 || 30 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris || 39.75 days || Refer to Day 80 (Jun 25). Half of that day's 79.5 days, 30 × 31.8 hours 
|-
| 39 || Aug 5 || ''e'' fortnights || 38.06 days ||2.71828 x 14 days
|-
| 38 || Aug 6 || ππ baker's days (25 hours) || 37.98 days || See day 75 (Jun 30). 3.14159 ^ 3.14159 × 25 
|-
| 37 || Aug 7 || One deciyear || 36.52 days || One tenth of one year
|-
| 36 || Aug 8 || 7! milliweeks || 35.28 days || 5,040 × 0.001 weeks
|-
| 35 || Aug 9 || 100,000 plays of the ''Jeopardy!'' "Think" music || 34.72 days || ''Think'' is the music played while the contestants try to answer the Final Jeopardy question; it is 30 seconds long. 30 × 100,000 seconds
|-
| 34 || Aug 10 || 1000 basketball games (game time) || 33.33 days || Uses the NBA game time of four 12-minute quarters, or 48 minutes
|-
| 33 || Aug 11 || 777 hours || 32.38 days || 24 hours per day
|-
| 32 || Aug 12 || One millilincoln (1/1000 of fourscore and seven years) || 31.78 days || {{w|Abraham Lincoln}}'s {{w|Gettysburg Address}} begins with the famous phrase "Four score and seven years ago". 1 score = twenty. 
|-
| 31 || Aug 13 || 1,000 episodes of ''60 Minutes'' (skipping ads) || 30.56 days || A television hour is between 42 and 44 minutes, with the remaining time used by ads. This uses a television 'hour' containing 44 minutes of content and 16 minutes of ads.
|-
| 30 || Aug 14 || All of ''Star Trek'', consecutively || 28.55 days || According to [https://www.cbr.com/star-trek-every-tv-episode-movie/ CBR]  of January 21, 2021, this consists of: 

:3,950 minutes of The Original Series
:528 minutes of The Animated Series
:7,832 minutes of The Next Generation
:7,920 minutes of Deep Space 9
:7,740 minutes of Voyager
:4,116 minutes of Enterprise
:250 minutes of Lower Decks, Season 1
:4,725 minutes of Discovery, the first 3 seasons
:450 minutes of Picard, Season 1
:150 minutes of Short Treks
:688 minutes of The Original Series films
:448 minutes of The Next Generation films
:381 minutes of the three rebooted universe films

In the year and a half since publishing that article, there have been:
:250 minutes of Lower Decks, Season 2
:585 minutes of Discovery, Season 4
:450 minutes of Picard, Season 2
:237 minutes of Prodigy, the first half of Season 1
:411 minutes of Strange New Worlds, up to and including June 23, the day after this comic (8 out of 10 episodes of Season 1)

The last two episodes of Strange New Worlds, taking the franchise until July 7, would add roughly 0.035 of a day each, a negligible difference.
|-
| 29 || Aug 15 || 777,777 nanocenturies || 28.41 days || 777,777 × 10-9 × 100 years.
|-
| 28 || Aug 16 || One sidereal lunar month || 27.3 days || The time it takes moon to return to the same position relative to the fixed stars
|-
| 27 || Aug 17 || 6 dog months || 26.14 days || See day 78 (Jun 27). A month averaging 30.5 days / 7
|-
| 26 || Aug 18 || ππ kilominutes || 25.32 days || 36,462.16 minutes
|-
| 25 || Aug 19 || 7 games of 7! minutes in Heaven || 24.5 days || 7 x 5040 (7 {{w|factorial}}) minutes. See also day 49 (Jul 26).
|-
| 24 || Aug 20 || 50 viewings of the extended ''Lord of the Rings'' trilogy || 23.82 days || ''The Fellowship of the Ring'' extended version is 208 minutes, ''The Two Towers'' is 226 minutes, and ''The Return of the King'' is 252 minutes for its extended version, according to [https://fictionhorizon.com/how-long-are-all-the-lord-of-the-rings-and-the-hobbit-movies-combined/ FictionHorizon.com]
|-
| 23 || Aug 21 || A drive from NYC to LA where you keep remembering new things you forgot and have to go back 6 times || 22.21 days || See day 72 (Jul 3). This is for 6 round-trips and 1 one-way trip, so 13 trips at 41 hours each.
|-
| 22 || Aug 22 || ''It's a Small World'' sung at 1/10,000th speed || 21.06 days || {{w|It's a Small World}} is a song that was composed for the attraction of the same name at various {{w|Disney}} theme parks and plays continuously at them in various languages. The song lasts 12–15 minutes, depending on the language. However, Randall seems to be using a single iteration of the song, such as this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxRW-duSCLA YouTube video] of 3:02, posted by Disney themselves. As such, it's 3:02 × 10,000.
|-
| 21 || Aug 23 || 500 hours || 20.83 days || 24 hours per day, or 0.041678 days per hour
|-
| 20 || Aug 24 || √2 fortnights || 19.80 days || 1.4142 × 14 days
|-
| 19 || Aug 25 || Time it would take Vanessa Carlton to walk 1,000 miles || 18.94 days || {{w|Vanessa Carlton}} is an American singer, and {{w|A Thousand Miles}} is her most successful song. Randall estimates her walking speed at about 2.2 miles/hour. 
|-
| 18 || Aug 26 || 100,000 breaths || 17.36* days || The normal respiratory rate for adults is typically 12-20 breaths per minute, or about 3-5 seconds each. *However, the day length here is for 15 seconds/breath, so Randall may be a practitioner of [https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353/full slow breathing].
|-
| 17 || Aug 27 || √2 megaseconds || 16.37 days || 1.4142 × 1,000,000 seconds
|-
| 16 || Aug 28 || πππ πcoseconds || 15.51 days || 1.3402 × 1018 picoseconds (i.e., 10-12 seconds), making a joke how the mathematical "pi" is written with the character "π" by using it to spell "picoseconds". This is probably related to the fact that the prefix "pico" is often mis-{{citation needed}}-pronounced as "PIE-co" rather than "PICK-o".
|-
| 15 || Aug 29 || One baker's fortnight (15 days) || 15 days || See day 75 (Jun 30)
|-
| 14 || Aug 30 || One baker's dozen (13) baker's days (25 hours) || 13.54 days || 325 hours; see day 75 (Jun 30)
|-
| 13 || Aug 31 || 300 hours || 12.5 days || 0.041678 days per hour
|-
| 12 || Sep 1 || One million seconds || 11.57 days || 86,400 seconds per day
|-
| 11 || Sep 2 || One nonstop bike ride from NYC to LA || 10.54 days || Google maps estimates the trip at 253 hours
|-
| 10 || Sep 3 || 1⁄1,000th of a generation || 9.86 days || See day 79 (Jun 26). A generation being taken as 27 years.
|-
| 9 || Sep 4 || 777,777 seconds || 9.002 days || 1.15741 × 10-5 days per second
|-
| 8 || Sep 5 || 100 viewings of ''Groundhog Day'' || 7.01 days || See Day 71 (Jul 4).
|-
| 7 || Sep 6 || 100 games of ''Lincoln Kissing'' (fourscore and seven minutes in Heaven) || 6.04 days || 8,700 minutes
|-
| 6 || Sep 7 || One pico-universe-lifetime || 5.04 days || See Day 51 (Jul 24). 13.8 billion years, "pico" meaning to divide by 1 trillion, thus 13.8 / 1,000.
|-
| 5 || Sep 8 || The ''Baby Shark'' chorus for a family of 50,000 sharks || 4.63 days || The chorus lasts about 8 seconds per 'person'
|-
| 4 || Sep 9 || One centiyear || 3.65 days || 365.2425 days/100
|-
| 3 || Sep 10 || Cyndi Lauper's ''Time After Time'' played 1,000 times || 2.79 days || Based on a length of 4 minutes, 1 second
|-
| 2 || Sep 11 || ''Speed'' (1994) played at one frame per second || 1.9 days || {{w|Speed (1994 film)}} has runtime of 116 minutes = 6,960 seconds = 167,040 film frames at standard frame rate of 24 frames/second
|-
| 1 || Sep 12 || F(99) where F(N) means sing all the verses of ''N Bottles of Beer On the wall'' followed by F(N-1) || 0.76 days || Each iteration contains ''N'' verses. ''N + N-1 + N-2 ... + 1'' equals ''N * (N+1) / 2'', so 99 recursions = 4950 verses. Using the same 13-second (72 bpm) rate as Jun 29, this is close to 18 hours. Probably refers to [[Donald Knuth]]'s article {{w|The Complexity of Songs}}. This F(99) song is referenced in the title text, see [[#Explanation|explanation]] above.
|-
| 0 || Sep 13 || ''What If? 2'' release day || N/A || Book launched!
|}

==Transcript==
:[The comic is a calendar that counts down to a specific date, like a Christmas calendar starting on June 2nd and ending on September 13th (2022). Each day is represented with a large square and there are 12 weeks for a total of 84 days. The days belonging to a particular month are surrounded by a thicker frame than between days from the same month. The first day of each month plus the very first day has the date given with three letters representing the month and the day number. This is written at the top right corner in a frame. All other days either only have the number for the day in the frame in the corner, or, if there are too much text on the day, no number is written. A single day has the number without the frame around it. The very last day notes what the countdown is for and there are three large stars places around the text, as well as smaller and larger dots, likely representing more stars in the entire field. All other days have text on all white background. The text represents a time that fits the time span from that day until the final day. The calendar begins on a Wednesday, and since the calendar week begins on a Sunday, there are three days missing to the left in the top row, and similarly four days are missing to the right in the bottom row as the last day is a Tuesday. Above the calendar is a large heading with a subheading below:]
:<big>Countdown to ''What if? 2''</big>
:(Preorder at xkcd.com/whatif2 to get it at the end of the countdown)

:[The date given, either as written or else mentioned if not written in comic, and then follows the text on that day:]
:Jun 22
::πe millidecades
:23
::7 megaseconds
:24
::e lunar months
:25
::60 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris
:26
::8 milligenerations
:27
::777,777 dog minutes
:28
::7! episodes of ''Jeopardy!'' (skipping ads)
:29
::5,000 repeats of ''99 Bottles of Beer''
:30
::5 baker's fortnights (15 days)
:Jul 1
::√2 dog years
:[Date left out on the 2nd.]
::π millivics (1/1000th of Queen Victoria's reign)
:3
::42 drives from NYC to LA (Google Maps estimate)
:4
::1,000 viewings of ''Groundhog Day''
:5
::100,000 minutes
:6
::1/10th of Martian year
:7
::1,234,567 sound-miles
:8
::2πe seconds
:9
::216 beats (Swatch Internet Time)
:10
::1,000 ISS orbits
:11
::[Four musical notes are shown at the top.]
::Five hundred twenty five thousand (base seven) minutes
:12
::1050 Planck times
:13
::4,000 episodes of ''The Office'' (skipping ads)
:14
::Four score and seven kilominutes
:15
::2 lunar months
:16
::Half a day on Venus
:17
::5 megaseconds
:[Date left out on the 18th.]
::30 microLits (1/1,000,000th of the time since the invention of literature)
:19
::1,000 viewings of ''Run Lola Run''
:20
::One million sound-miles
:21
::30 Ionian months
:22
::One dog year
:23
::60 viewings of ''Star Wars Episodes I-IX''
:24
::1/100,000,000,000th of the universe's age
:25
::5 milli-generations
:[Date left out on the 26th.]
::10,000 games of ''7 minutes in Heaven'' or 7 games of ''10,000 minutes in Heaven''
:27
::φeπ minutes
:28
::4 megaseconds
:29
::216 minutes
:30
::eee seconds
:31
::π fortnights
:Aug 1
::One devil's spacewalk (666 orbits of the ISS)
:2
::1 kilowatt-hour per watt
:3
::eπ Ionian months
:4
::30 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris
:5
::e fortnights
:6
::πe baker's days (25 hours)
:7
::One deciyear
:8
::7! milliweeks
:9
::100,000 plays of the ''Jeopardy!'' "Think" music
:10
::1000 basketball games (game time)
:11
::777 hours
:12
::One millilincoln (1/1000 of fourscore and seven years)
:13
::1,000 episodes of ''60 Minutes'' (skipping ads)
:14
::All of ''Star Trek'', consecutively
:15
::777,777 nanocenturies
:16
::One sidereal lunar month
:17
::6 dog months
:18
::ππ kilominutes
:19
::7 games of ''7! minutes in Heaven''
:20
::50 viewings of the extended ''Lord of the Rings'' trilogy
:[Date left out on the 21th.]
::A drive from NYC to LA where you keep remembering new things you forgot and have to go back 6 times
:[Date left out on the 22nd.]
::''It's a Small World'' sung at 1/10,000th speed
:23
::500 hours
:24
::√2 fortnights
:[Date left out on the 25th.]
::Time it would take Vanessa Carlton to walk 1,000 miles
:26
::100,000 breaths
:27
::√2 megaseconds
:28
::πππ πcoseconds
:29 [The date is not inside a small frame as all other dates shown.]
::One baker's fortnight (15 days)
:30
::One baker's dozen (13) baker's days (25 hours)
:31
::300 hours
:Sep 1
::One million seconds
:2
::One nonstop bike ride from NYC to LA
:3
::1⁄1,000th of a generation
:4
::777,777 seconds
:5
::100 viewings of ''Groundhog Day''
:[Date left out on the 6th.]
::100 games of ''Lincoln Kissing'' (Fourscore and seven minutes in Heaven)
:7
::One pico-universe-lifetime
:8
::The ''Baby Shark'' chorus for a family of 50,000 sharks
:9
::One centiyear
:10
::Cyndi Lauper's ''Time After Time'' played 1,000 times
:[Date left out on the 11th.]
::''Speed'' (1994) played at one frame per second
:[Date left out on the 12th.]
::F(99) where F(N) means sing all the verses of ''N Bottles of Beer On the wall'' followed by F(N-1)
:13
::''What If? 2'' release day

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Book promotion]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:What If?]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]
[[Category:Disney]]

2575: What If? 2

2025-03-22T08:19:20Z

Caralice: fix formatting

<noinclude>:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2575
| date = January 31, 2022
| title = What If? 2
| image = what_if_2.png
| titletext = CLARIFICATION: By 9/13, I mean September 13th, not the 9th day of Jancember, the cursed 13th month that exists between December and January in the transdimensional temporal plane.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is [[Randall]]'s way of announcing and [[:Category:Book promotion|promoting]] his new book, ''[[What If? 2]]'', based on his ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' blog and following his first what if book.

The entire comic (including the [[Header text#2022-01-31_-_What_if.3F_2|xkcd Header text]]) is a link to a [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ what if? 2: the book] page on {{xkcd}}.

Apart from promoting the book, the comic also explains why he ended up writing a sequel. After the first book came out Randall was flooded with ''what if?'' questions. Presumable mainly from his readers via e-mail, but his friends and families also started texting him with these questions. Some of these texts are displayed in the comic, but only partially, so none of the six question texts can be read. But where one might think that this would become tiresome, Randall instead tells the readers the opposite: "Honestly, I love it."

He then continues to praise the quality of the questions, mentioning no less than nine examples of what the questions were about. And in the process ensures the reader that planets, including the Earth, will be destroyed multiple times in his new book. At the end he lets the readers know that some of the features of the first book, with short answer sections and disturbing questions (likely not answered), are also included in this book.

He also states that a few of his favorites from the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/ ''What If?'' site] site have been included, so it is not all new material. He includes his very last online ''What If?'' ({{what if|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}) for instance, which was released on 2018-05-21, almost four years before this comic was released. Also, by the time the book is released, it will be almost four years and four months since the last article on ''What If?''

The final part of the comic is a picture of the book that both makes it clear when the book is released and how to preorder it.

Randall ensured the maximum possible attention to his announcement by placing a [[Countdown in header text|countdown]] in the [[Header text#2022-01-10_-_Standard_text_with_countdown|header]] about three weeks prior to the announcement. This has caused a lot of speculation as to what would be revealed on the day of this comic's release 2022-01-31. The timer was inside a panel at the top right of the xkcd header text next to the standard header text: ''xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday''. Inside the panel a picture began emerging after the first day, but the picture only changed approximately once every four hours. After a few weeks was it certain that it was a plane that was being revealed. And on the second to last day, around day twenty, it was clear that it featured a ''T. rex''-like dinosaur ''en silhouette'' standing on top of the aircraft, apparently trying to eat its way into the fuselage, and it might have been possible to guess the relation to the ''What If?'' sequel. On the day before the announcement on xkcd, however, [[Countdown_in_header_text#Blow_up_by_Amazon|Amazon made visible a preorder page for the book]], so the answer was made clear about a day before Randall had intended. This clearly annoyed users of this page as can be seen in the [[Talk:Countdown_in_header_text|talk page for the countdown]].

Until then, however, there were numerous [[Countdown_in_header_text#Theories|theories]] about the [[Countdown_in_header_text#Countdown|countdown]] and what the [[Countdown_in_header_text#The_picture|image would reveal]] as the image gradually changed throughout the eventual [[Countdown_in_header_text/images|136 frames]].

In the title text, Randall feels that he must clarify the release day (as in [[2562: Formatting Meeting]]), since he has often joked about the way different countries (and people) write dates. He did not use the one version he himself had promoted in earlier comics. He does however give two different versions of the release date: the first is "9/13" in the first panel, which is at least (usually — see below) only readable one way; harder to misinterpret is the more expansive "Sep 13, 2022" in the final panel. A format that he could have used to avoid any confusion is: "the book is released on 2022-09-13," using the international standard as defined in the {{W|ISO 8601}} standard and shown in [[1179: ISO 8601]].

The clarification reads: By 9/13, I mean September 13th, not the 9th day of Jancember, the cursed 13th month that exists between December and January in the transdimensional temporal plane.

Since there are only 12 months in the year, 9/13 actually cannot be mistaken, while 9/12 might be. So there was really no need for this clarification, especially with the last text in the last panel. So this is of course just a title text joke, where he can manage to make a [[:Category:Portmanteau|portmanteau]] of January and December ("Jancember") and then then call this a cursed month as it would be the 13th month if it came before New Year. This comic came out at the end of January, so it could have been at the end of Jancember instead. The number thirteen is seen by many as an unlucky number, so a thirteenth month would be considered cursed by some, or at least unlucky.
In reality, a 13th month can exist in some alternate calendars and is then called "{{W|Undecimber}}".

At the release of this comic, the header changed to promote the website, the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#xkcd_links|xkcd links]] in the top left section of xkcd was changed to promote the book and he made his first [[Blag]] post in more than two years with the [https://blog.xkcd.com/2022/01/31/what-if-2/ What If 2] post.

The [https://what-if.xkcd.com/ what if?] header was also changed to accommodate promotion of the new book; not so strange, seeming as it was based on that blog. A picture is displayed at the top with the book at both ends and this text in between, with the first line taking up the top and the two other lines below, the first in a frame:
:What If? 2
:Preorder now
:On sale 9/13
The entire picture links to the what if? 2 page.

Exactly two months after the release of this promotion comic Randall made another comic about his new what if? 2 book: [[2600: Rejected Question Categories]]. In this he also gives the release day as 9/13, in the title text, although without any mention of the ambiguity of this date format.

==Transcript==
:[Randall, drawn as Cueball, is throwing his arms out as he stands next to a big red book with white drawings on the cover. The cover shows a large passenger plane that has just taken off, as can be seen since the landing gear still has the wheels extended (only one wheel is visible at the middle part and then the one in the front). A Tyrannosaurus Rex has jumped on to the plane and it is biting down on the ceiling of the plane a bit in front of the wings, as if on the back of a prey. The dinosaur has already broken through the ceiling. Below is a jagged landscape with small mountain like peaks in the background. Megan and Cueball are standing on the top of the second of two raised plateaus, looking up at the plane and dinosaur. There is unreadable white text above the plane, then a title beneath the plane, and the authors name below the landscape, and more unreadable text beneath that, all in white. Below the book, there is a small arrow pointing to the right bottom of the book, with a label beneath.]
:Randall: '''Announcement:''' I’m publishing a ''what if?'' sequel!
:Book cover: what if? 2
:Book cover: Randall Munroe
:In stores 9/13, available for preorder now: xkcd.com/whatif2

:[Randall is shown holding up his smart phone in one hand. The screen lights up as indicated with small lines at the top. These point up to at least six SMS texts, each with two lines of text. They are shown in speech bobbles with a small arrow in the bobbles lower left corner. All six are covered partly by either the other five, or by Randall’s head, and none of them can be read in any meaningful way; only parts of sentences or words are clearly visible. The bobbles and the text in them are all drawn in gray. Randall is narrating (not speaking) in this panel, both above the SMS texts, and below.]
:Randall narrating: Ever since I wrote '''''what if?''''', I’ve been flooded with questions.
:Randall narrating: And not just from readers- My friends and family stated texting them to me, too.
:Text 1: Hey, could s.. ele
:Text 2: Hypothe…
:Text 3: If you s… Jupiter…
:Text 4: Could my ca… or…
:Text 5: Do you… my car…
:Text 6: If I trie… the sun, would I…
:Randall narrating: Honestly, I love it.

:[Randall is again standing next to his red book talking. There is also a second version of the book lying to the right of the closed book, and this has been opened up to reveal two pages. The text is unreadable and the images are very hard to see, but it seems that two people are standing next to each other on the right page. The image at the top of the left page has been enlarged and shown to the right of the open book. It is an image of the Earth that is being peeled by a potato peeler, which takes off a large peel from the north part of Scandinavia and then goes via Russia into Asia. The title and author name can still just be read on the book,but maybe only because they are already known...]
:Randall: The questions are so good. People have asked about touching exotic materials, traveling across space and time, eating things they shouldn’t, and smashing large objects into the Earth. There are questions about lasers, explosions, swingsets, candy, and soup. Several planets are destroyed-one of them by the soup.
:Book cover: what if? 2
:Book cover: Randall Munroe

:[Zoom in on the top part of Randall speaking on.]
:Randall: Like the first book, '''''what if? 2''''' also features collections of short answers, new lists of weird and worrying questions, and some of my favorite answers from the What if site.

:[Only the closed red book are shown in this panel, in an even larger version than in any of the previous panels. But it is still only the title and the author name that can be read, but in this version these can also be read on the spine of the book. Randall is narrating again, and there are text both above and below the book.]
:Randall narrating: If you want to get it when it’s released, you can preorder a copy at xkcd.com/whatif2
:Book spine: what if? 2 Randall Munroe
:Book cover: what if? 2
:Book cover: Randall Munroe
:Randall narrating: Available Sep 13, 2022

==Trivia==
This comic came out just a few minutes after the [[Countdown in header text]] ended.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:What If?]]
[[Category:Book promotion]]
[[Category:Portmanteau]] 
[[Category:Calendar]] 
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Comics with cursed items]] 
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

2561: Moonfall

2025-03-22T08:18:09Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 2561
| date = December 29, 2021
| title = Moonfall
| image = moonfall.png
| titletext = Novel ideas and cool explosions are both good, but what I really want from a movie is novel ideas ABOUT cool explosions.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] asks [[Cueball]] if he is excited for the release of the movie ''Moonfall''.

''{{w|Moonfall (film)|Moonfall}}'' was released in February 2022, a couple of months after this comic. Its director, {{w|Roland Emmerich}}, is known for blowing up things in his movies (see for instance [https://www.gq.com/video/watch/explosions-the-roland-emmerich-supercut the Roland Emmerich Supercut]), as well as for factual inaccuracies in his work (mainly the scientific implausibility of his many disaster movies like ''{{w|Independence Day (1996 film)|Independence Day}}'', ''{{w|The Day After Tomorrow}}'' and ''{{w|2012 (film)|2012}}'').

The [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5834426/plotsummary basic premise] of ''Moonfall'' is that a mysterious force manages to knock the Moon out of its orbit, leaving it on a collision course with the Earth. This is scientifically preposterous (see [[#Realistic analysis of the scenario|analysis]] below), making it potentially 'cringe-worthy' for someone who prefers {{w|hard science fiction}} where things are more grounded in established scientific facts and theories. Cueball states that a story based on good science can potentially serve as a novel window into what the real world may look like someday—or, as he puts it, "expand our ideas of what's possible."

But Cueball then goes on to imply that he's still looking forward to the movie because his less critical side is still excited by things like cool spaceship noises and smashing moons into things. Sometimes you just want to [[311: Action Movies|get lost in mindless action]], even if it's less 'mature' than a well-thought-out meaningful plot. Megan then sums things up by playing off Cueball's wording from the previous panel, saying she's excited to "expand our ideas on how much stuff can explode at once." Given the scale of ''Moonfall''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s premise involving a potential planetary-scale collision, as well as the director's tendency to use gratuitous visual effects and explosions in his movies, it seems reasonable to conclude that the movie will likely contain quite a lot of stuff exploding at once.

In the title text Cueball continues by explaining that while novel ideas and cool explosions are good, what he really wants from a movie is novel ideas about cool explosions. So new ways to explode things, or ideas about exploding more things at once. Or both!

[[1536: The Martian]] contains a similar discussion of an (at the time) upcoming movie, in particular ''{{w|The Martian (film)|The Martian}}''. In that case, however, the subject of the comic was the movie's high scientific accuracy and lack of huge explosions, rather than the other way around.

===Realistic analysis of the scenario===
For the Moon to fall from the sky, it would have to stop orbiting. Most forces applied it to will simply change the way in which it is orbiting, making the orbit more elliptical, larger or smaller. To stop it from orbiting entirely, a 'braking' force would need to be applied in the opposite direction of its travel, to halt it.

The Moon's mass is about 7.34767×1022 kg and its speed about 1.022 km/s, so the energy needed to stop it is ½''mv''2 or about 3.8364×1028 joules. That's about the energy of 1 trillion large nuclear explosions, centered on the leading-most point of the Moon's surface. In theory, a precisely-oriented stellar body could strike the Moon to do this, for example, if something the mass of Ceres impacted at 16km/s. This would be dramatic. {{Citation needed}} It would, however, be below the Moon's gravitational binding energy, which, since the Moon is densest near its center, is much greater than 3Gm2/5r = 1.2x1029 joules, so the Moon would not be immediately entirely destroyed. It is, however, about the right amount of energy to liquify the entire Moon, if it takes an average of 450kJ/kg to melt the lunar rock, then it comes out to 3.3×1028 J to liquify the Moon. Whatever the exact details of the impact are, it would be bad for the Moon, and it is implausible that it would result in the Moon falling into the Earth.

Less counteractive energy could make the Moon change orbit to one with a {{w|perigee}} below the surface of the Earth, close enough to (partially) enter the atmosphere or merely bring it down beneath the applicable {{w|Roche limit}}. These scenarios would be only technically less catastrophic, and whether the Moon fragments from the initially applied force, the stresses of its nearest (non-contact) distance to Earth or actually survives largely intact until there is a more direct physical interaction, the precise degree of the effect might be practically academic.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan walking to the right]
:Megan: Are you excited for ''Moonfall''?
:Megan: Or cringing?
:Cueball: Well...

:[Closeup on Cueball]
:Cueball: I like when stories are grounded in good science because it's exciting to expand our ideas of what's possible.

:[Zoomed back out to Cueball and Megan walking to the right. Cueball has his palms raised]
:Cueball: But I also support giving Roland Emmerich as much money as he wants to make cool spaceship noises and smash moons into things.
:Megan: Excited to expand our ideas of how much stuff can explode at once.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Fiction]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category: Comics featuring real people]]

2203: Prescience

2025-03-22T08:14:56Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 2203
| date = September 16, 2019
| title = Prescience
| image = prescience.png
| titletext = Lots of people called their ships unsinkable before the Titanic. Voicing your hubris doesn't make failure more likely, just more memorable.
}}

==Explanation==

In this comic, [[Cueball]] states that it's been a long time since there's been a really big {{w|Impact event|meteor impact}}. Due to the {{w|Gambler's Fallacy}}, this is taken to be Cueball implying that a big meteor impact is coming soon. The off-panel voice is annoyed about his statement, but whether from fear of it happening or because he does this all the time is unclear, see more below. The joke is that Cueball does this often, also with other types of major random events, just in case they do actually happen soon. For instance, if there does happen to be an impact soon after he made the statement, it makes him look incredibly {{w|prescient}}, whereas if there isn't one, no one really cares or remembers.

It is also unclear how big an impact he refers to. It has been 60 million years since the {{w|Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event|impact that killed the dinosaurs}}, but that if that is the type of event he refers to, then maybe no one will be there to remember what he said. So, it is likely much smaller impacts he is talking about. ''Prescience'' means to predict the future. It is clear from this comic that [[Randall]] makes fun of both of those that claim to have prescience and of those that have a superstition against talking about something happening that could cause it to happen. Although only one method is scientifically recognized, there are at least three possible sources of prescience recognized by people.

The first of the two main ways of predicting the future involves a mix of common sense and historical knowledge. By understanding the past, the direction of the future can be guessed at with varying levels of accuracy. This type of prescience is also known sometimes as future modelling, statistical prediction, psychohistory, and even wisdom to name a few. The second way to predict the future is not scientifically recognized but remains popular in culture and fiction. It can involve magic, psychic power, higher powers (gods), and other such methods. Collectively, they are labelled supernatural; any method to predict the future using this class of method cannot be easily measured by science.

Although not technically a way to predict the future, the third way to predict the future is through superstition. The method involved in this comic effectively boils down to "speak the name of evil, and you will summon it." This superstition can have surprising power in people's lives, however. A woman planning her outdoor wedding may feel the urge to hit her friend if they say "Gosh, I hope it doesn't rain on that day." A doctor working in the Emergency Room may feel the need to kick anyone who says "Wow, it's really quiet around here." Such thoughts spoken aloud do not have the power to control the weather or cause people to seriously injure themselves. Yet people often react emotionally as if not speaking the name of 'evil' will keep it away.

This comic may reflect that emotional reaction when the off-screen character yells at Cueball: "Will you stop that?!". Alternatively, it is one, like [[Megan]], who knows Cueball well enough to know that which is stated in the caption, that he only does this to look good if said thing happens. And the person is so tired of it! Maybe Cueball does it at least once a week, and obviously from the caption, it is not only about meteor impact, but any major random event, that he could then be remembered as having predicted. The title has a double meaning. The first meaning is about the prescience that would appear if one actually predicts a natural disaster this way. The second meaning involves the fact that it is spelled pre-science - since there are many more scientific ways to predict meteor impacts, even though they aren't entirely accurate. This comic has a clear resemblance to the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]] series. This would also make it clear the Cueball in this comic is actually [[Randall]]. The entire setup and punch line of this comic is very similar to this old comic: [[525: I Know You're Listening]], and [[628: Psychic]] and [[858: Milk]] also use the idea of guessing something that will make you look special.

The title text refers to the {{w|RMS Titanic|RMS ''Titanic''}}, a ship which was claimed to be unsinkable by those promoting its maiden voyage. The use of multiple water-tight compartments allowed the ship to suffer a moderate amount of damage without sinking. Unfortunately, there existed a way for the ship to suffer damage in a way which caused more compartments to be filled with water than it could survive; and, therefore, it could — and eventually ''did'' — sink. But with all the news stories that had just been published hailing this unsinkable ship as a modern wonder of the world, this shipwreck was particularly ironic. The story of the sinking of the ''Titanic'' has been memorialized in popular culture, most memorably in the 1997 film {{w|Titanic (1997 film)|Titanic}}.

In the title text, Randall thus suggests that lots of ships had been called unsinkable before Titanic. But saying such {{w|hubris}} aloud doesn't make any ship more likely to sink. But when such a ship, like Titanic, then sinks it does, however, increase the value of the story ensuring it will be remembered. It should be noted that few among the ship's builders or crew boasted the ''Titanic'' to be unsinkable. Most of the boasting came from the owners that used the news media of the day to create hype and promote their ship, just when the ship was finished and dedicated (the ship's builders did, however, boast that the ship exceeded all safety standards of the time). In addition, the hubris was only one small part of the fame of the sinking of the ''Titanic''; the ''Titanic''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s status as a world record setter for most massive ship ever built, the incredible wealth of most of its passengers, and the fact it sank on its maiden voyage all contributed to the fame and hype behind the great maritime tragedy.

Ironically, part of what caused this disaster was hubris, since those that were interested in promoting the ship also wished it to make a speed record, by reaching New York a day before expected. Thus, the captain, even though he would have realised that the ship could sink, took the fateful decisions of running at full speed through waters known to contain icebergs during a still night with very calm waters. Spotting icebergs in such conditions is known to be difficult, especially as there will be no notably foaming waves around the icebergs' bases and patchy mists will inconveniently diffuse the horizons and any useful starlight.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting in an armchair holding a book. He seems to be looking off as he talks to an off-panel person behind him. This person replies.]
:Cueball: You know, it's been a while since there's been a really big meteor impact.
:Off-panel voice: '''''Will you stop that?!'''''

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I say this kind of thing every so often, because I don't believe it affects the outcome and it has a slim chance of looking ''incredibly'' prescient.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

2042: Rolle's Theorem

2025-03-22T08:13:54Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 2042
| date = September 5, 2018
| title = Rolle's Theorem
| image = rolles_theorem.png
| titletext = I mean, if it's that easy to get a theorem named for you ... "a straight line that passes through the center of a coplanar circle always divides the circle into two equal halves." Can I have that one? Wait, can I auction off the naming rights? It can be the Red Bull Theorem or the Quicken Loans Theorem, depending who wants it more.
}}

==Explanation==
In mathematics, a {{w|differentiable function}} is a function that is "smooth" everywhere, without any sudden breaks or pointy "kinks" or similar. The derivative of such a function is a new function that represents the "slope" or "rate of change" of the original. The function in this comic curves up from point (a) until a point above (c), smoothly turns around, and then curves down from (c) to (b). As a result, the derivative of this function is positive from (a) to (c), and then is negative from (c) to (b). At (c) itself, the function is "flat": the more one zooms in, the more horizontal it looks. The function is moving neither up nor down, so the derivative is neither positive nor negative, but zero. This is what ''f'(c) = 0'' means, as ''f<nowiki>'</nowiki>'' is a common notation for the derivative of the function ''f'' in {{w|differential calculus}}.

A {{w|theorem}} in mathematics is a statement that has been ''proven'' from former accepted statements, like other theorems or {{w|axiom}}s. This comic references {{w|Rolle's theorem}}. The theorem essentially states that, if a smoothly changing function has the same output at two different inputs, then it must have one or more turning points in between, as the derivative is zero at each one. As a special case, should the function remain flat between the two inputs, then its derivative is actually zero for every point between the inputs. To [[Randall]], this is obvious. However, the proof of this theorem is not as obvious as the result.

The seeming triviality of the theorem, coupled with the honour bestowed on the theorem namer, leads Randall to make a comparison to attendees of art museums who look at abstract art pieces and perceive only an apparent technical simplicity in the work. Such a visitor might exclaim "My child could paint that!". However, such works of art typically are seen as having value from attributes other than the painterly difficulty in achieving the piece. For example, an artist's work in this style may be lauded for its visionary qualities, or the emotions expressed through the choice of colours or textures. One such artist is {{w|Jackson Pollock}}. The 'clueless' visitor does not see these aspects and believes their child could imitate the piece. Randall suggests he experiences a similar feeling looking at Rolle's Theorem and noting only the obvious correctness without acknowledging the complicated nature of the proof, or other hidden aspects of the theorem.

In the title text, Randall mentions a line together with a ''coplanar'' circle. This simply means that both those two-dimensional objects must lay in the same plane in a higher, three-or-more-dimensional space. And by this means, every line drawn through the center of a circle is just a diameter which divides it into two equal parts. Even if this fact is trivial, even the legendary {{w|Proclus}} admits that the first man who proved it was {{w|Thales of Miletus|Thales}}. Auctioning of {{w|naming rights}}, also noted in the title text, refers to the practice of naming entertainment venues for companies which pay for the privilege, such as any of the three {{w|Red Bull Arena}}s or {{w|Quicken Loans Arena}}. (See [https://www.reddit.com/r/math/comments/pgj3og/are_there_any_theoremsobjects_involving_company/ "Are there any theorems/objects involving company names."] on r/math.) The naming of mathematical theorems (along with lemmas, equations, laws, methods, etc.) is [http://www.maa.org/external_archive/devlin/devlin_09_05.html not always straightforward] and {{w|List of misnamed theorems|often results in misleading names}}.

Randall implies that there are many seemingly easy theorems like this. For instance the Dirichlet's box principle, also known as the {{w|Pigeonhole principle}}, which states that if you have more objects than containers, you're going to have to put at least two objects in one container.

==Transcript==
:[A single framed picture shows a colored x-y-graph with a text above:]
:'''Rolle's Theorem'''
:From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

:Rolle's theorem states that any real, differentiable function that has the same value at two different points must have at least one "stationary point" between them where the slope is zero.

:[The graph shows a sine like curve in blue intersecting the x-axis at points "a" and "b" marked in red while in the middle a point "c" has a vertical dashed green line to the apex and on top also in green f'(c)=0 is drawn with a horizontal tangent line.]

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Every now and then, I feel like the math equivalent of the clueless art museum visitor squinting at a painting and saying "c'mon, my kid could make that."

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Analysis]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

1942: Memorable Quotes

2025-03-22T08:11:53Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 1942
| date = January 15, 2018
| title = Memorable Quotes
| image = memorable_quotes.png
| titletext = "Since there's no ending quote mark, everything after this is part of my quote. —Randall Munroe
}}

==Explanation==

This comic "helpfully" provides random quotes to be used by anyone as {{w|blurb}}s, online reviews, motivational quotes or similar short bits of text. Either the {{w|webcomic}} [[xkcd]] or its creator [[Randall|Randall Munroe]] may be quoted when using any of the provided lines, as stated at the top of the comic.

In particular, their "usefulness" lies in the fact that almost any of them are equally applicable to almost any situation. This is achieved by making each quote not really about anything in particular, aside from the fact that they are quotes. This is in contrast to typical quotes, which are never quite this aware that they will be quoted, but this is to be expected when the lines here were made solely for being quoted.

These self-aware quotes are, on a meta level, jokes about quotations generally. Most of Randall's quotes either sabotage the quoting work, reference some aspect of quotes as used in practice, or both---and it can be both when the aspects referenced are about twisting people's words to look like they agree with you.

The title-text does not have an ending quote mark, so "- Randall Munroe" is part of the quote, and possibly everything in xkcd after that until the next ending quote. Note that the next quote mark in xkcd is in [[1946: Hawaii]].

==Table of quotes==
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Quote !! Explanation
|-
|''"I disagree strongly with whatever work this quote is attached to."''
|Quotes are often used in, or on, publications and documents to add weight to them by making it seem like the person being quoted endorses their content or message. This quote would actively undermine the reputation of the work, unless said work advertises itself as a farce.
|-
|''"This quote was taken out of context."''
|Quotes are commonly taken out of context to make it look as though they support a (sometimes fallacious) point, or to falsely imply an endorsement of the work they are attached to. However, since this quote serves no purpose beyond pointing out that it is out of context, there would be no point in trying to use it in this way. In any case, since all these quotes are provided without any real context, it's not clear what taking it out of context would mean.
Alternatively, this quote can be taken out of context to make it seem that Randall is asserting that another quote is out of context.
|-
|''"This quote is often falsely attributed to Mark Twain."''
|Many quotes are misattributed to famous people who are well known for originating a lot of quotes (such as [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mark_Twain#Misattributed Mark Twain], [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Dr._Seuss#Misattributed Dr. Seuss], or [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein#Misattributed Albert Einstein]). If this quote was attributed to Mark Twain, however, it would be immediately clear that either it wasn't said by him, or he was lying at the time.
|-
|''"I'm being quoted to introduce something, but I have no idea what it is and certainly don't endorse it."''
|This is likely the case for many famous, widely admired people who are often quoted for all sorts of arguments, even diametrically opposed ones.
|-
|''"This quote is very memorable."''
|This is likely not the case; this quote itself is very forgettable, being very short, and containing no insight on anything meaningful. However, the irony is that this simple quote stating its memorableness may be enough to get it stuck in your head, making it a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. This quote could actually be useful if you were preparing a presentation on how to give presentations, and wanted to illustrate the misuse of quotes.
|-
|''"I wrote this book, and the person quoting me here is taking credit for it."''
|The quote is attempting to sabotage the authorship of the book that uses it. Paradoxically, though, by implying that Randall wrote the book, it also implies that he is the one using the quote, and therefore claiming credit that is not due to him.
|-
|''"This entire thing is the quote, not just the part in quote marks." [Quote marks, brackets, and editor's note are all in the original. —Ed.]''
|Editors sometimes use square brackets within or after a quote in order to make a comment on the quote, such as to note that mistakes or typographical oddities were in the author's original, to correct factual errors, or to provide additional context. Randall is deliberately confusing the issue by including what appears to be an editor's note within the quote itself.

Further confusion would be caused if the quoting author, or their editor, wanted to include a note of their own, such as one noting that this odd construction was in the original quote, because it would be hard to tell what the scope of the claims were, and who wrote each editor’s note. Such problems of clarity can be solved using different formatting or typographical techniques such as footnotes. Programming languages avoid this type of ambiguity by using {{w|escape characters}}.
|-
|''"Websites that collect quotes are full of mistakes and never check original sources."''
|Websites that collect quotes are infamous for not checking sources. This has been parodied in many ways. The implication would be that if you found this quote on such a website, there would be a good chance that it was inaccurate or misattributed. As a matter of fact, this quote can be found in several such websites like [https://www.quotes.net/quote/92341 Quotes.net], [https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9046643-websites-that-collect-quotes-are-full-of-mistakes-and-never goodreads.com] or [https://www.whatshouldireadnext.com/quotes/randall-munroe-websites-that-collect-quotes-are whatshouldireadnext.com].
|-
|''"This quote will be the only part of this presentation you remember."''
|When used effectively in a presentation a quote should succinctly summarize the ideas being presented in a memorable, pithy phrase that helps to bring to mind the rest of the message. However, it is a common experience, especially if the presentation was weak, or the quote was not particularly appropriate, for them to be the only part you remember.
|-
|''"Oooh, look at me, I looked up a quote!"''
|It is sometimes recommended to add quotes to a work or, particularly a presentation, to add weight, wit, or authority. However, it is common for quotes to appear to have been included because the author thought there ought to be one, rather than serving any particular purpose, especially if the quote chosen is of questionable relevance. This quote would make it very clear that this was the case.
|-
|''"If you're doing a text search in this document for the word 'butts,' the good news is that it's here, but the bad news is that it only appears in this unrelated quote."''
|This would probably occur if you decided to follow Randall's advice and include this quote in your work, since this is a fairly infrequently used word in most contexts.
|-
|''"Wait, what if these quote marks are inside out, so everything in the rest of the document is the quotation and ''this'' part isn't? ''Duuuuude.''"''
|The quote imitates the stereotype of hippies, typically ones on drugs, announcing what they believe to be deep insights into reality. If it were true, it would mean that whoever wrote the quoting work would be stealing the entire thing from somewhere, with the exception of these two weird sentences pointing it out.
|-
|''"The editors of ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'' are a bunch of cowards who don't have the guts to print this."''
|The author of this quote is apparently making a desperate attempt to get a quote published by challenging the editors of ''{{w|Bartlett's Familiar Quotations}}'', or perhaps is resentful, having attempted to get them to publish his quote(s) and been rejected.
|-
|''"This quote only looks profound when it's in a script font over a sunset."''
|Supposedly inspirational quotes are often set in a fancy font above a picture of a sunset, mountain range, beach, etc. to make them look more profound. However, these are often ridiculed as being trite or vacuous. This quote takes the unusual step of acknowledging that, without such formatting, it looks boring and average.
|-
|''"I don't do a lot of public speaking, so I looked up a memorable quote to start my speech, and this is what I found. OK, you're staring at me blankly, but this whole thing is a quote. I know that sounds confusing, but... you know what, never mind."''
|People often begin speeches with a memorable quote in order to engage the audience. Using this quote would give the impression that the person speaking lacked confidence in their speech and, particularly, the quote they had chosen to introduce it, being interesting enough to get people's attention.
|-
|''"Sent from my iPhone"''
|This is the default email signature on an {{w|iPhone}}. Quoting this might lead the reader to think that you typed the preceding work on your phone, or that Randall sent the quote from his phone, and you lazily copied and pasted the wrong part of the message.
|-
|''"Since there's no ending quote mark, everything after this is part of my quote. —Randall Munroe''
|First of all, let's just close that." Now that we have that out of the way, this quote appears in the title text. Randall Munroe is saying that because there's no ending quotation mark, the rest of the book this quote is in is part of Randall's quote, including, weirdly, the piece of text, after what should be the quote, specifying that Randall has also said his name.

This is roughly consistent with the formatting required to perform SQL injection referenced in [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]. Because it doesn’t have any punctuation before the first “, it wouldn’t actually perform an injection attack, instead causing an entire query to be part of a single string. This is also similar to [[859: (]], having an opening punctuation mark without the closing.
|}

==Transcript==

:Looking for a quote for something?
:Here are some for general use.

:They can be attributed to xkcd or Randall Munroe as needed.

:"I disagree strongly with whatever work this quote is attached to."
:"This quote was taken out of context."
:"This quote is often falsely attributed to Mark Twain."
:"I'm being quoted to introduce something, but I have no idea what it is and certainly don't endorse it."
:"This quote is very memorable."
:"I wrote this book, and the person quoting me here is taking credit for it."
:"This entire thing is the quote, not just the part in quote marks." [quote marks, brackets, and editor's note are all in the original. -ED.]
:"Websites that collect quotes are full of mistakes and never check original sources."
:"This quote will be the only part of this presentation you remember."
:"Oooh, look at me, I looked up a quote!"
:"If you're doing a text search in this document for the word 'butts,' the good news is that it's here, but the bad news is that it only appears in this unrelated quote."
:"Wait, what if these quote marks are inside out, so everything in the rest of the document is the quotation and ''this'' part isn't? ''Duuuuude."
:"The editors of ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'' are a bunch of cowards who don't have the guts to print this."
:"This quote only looks profound when it's in a script font over a sunset."
:"I don't do a lot of public speaking, so I looked up a memorable quote to start my speech, and this is what I found. OK, you're staring at me blankly, but this whole thing is a quote. I know that sounds confusing, but... You know what, never mind!"
:"Sent from my iPhone."

{{comic discussion}}

1757: November 2016

2025-03-22T08:07:46Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 1757
| date = November 9, 2016
| title = November 2016
| image = november_2016.png
| titletext = Once you've done this, make a note of how old they were. Then, when their age reaches double that, show them this chart again.
}}

==Explanation==
This is yet another comic designed to [[:Category:Comics to make one feel old|make people feel old]], following soon after the last one [[1745: Record Scratch]].

The comic takes the form of a table of ages between 16 and 41, and next to each, a list of things that originated approximately half that age ago. Thus, by mentioning those things to a person of that age, that person becomes aware that those things have now been around for the majority of their life. People tend to underestimate how long ago things happened, so the revelation will usually come as a shock and make them realize that things they think of as new and modern are actually a lot older than they thought. This, in turn, will make them feel old.

For example, if talking to a 24-year-old, the relevant sentence would be:
:"Did you know that {{w|Facebook}} has been around for the majority of your life?"

To a 24-year old, Facebook likely still seems like a new innovation, so they may be shocked to discover that it has been around for more than half their life.

The joke at the end is that the guide isn't necessary for people over 41, since they ''already'' feel old, and are more than capable of providing any number of demonstrative examples.

It should be noted that the guide is only current for the time it was published, which is why it is billed as the "November 2016 Guide to Making People Feel Old". This is because the examples given in the table are relative to a person's age ''at that time''. However, the title text sneakily suggests a way to get an additional use out of the guide: by noting down the person's age at the time you show them the guide, and then showing it to them again when they are double that age, they will realize that more than half a lifetime has elapsed since the last time they viewed this comic, and will thus feel old again.

==Table for the guide==
{| class = "wikitable"
! Age
! Birth year
! Date of occurrences
! Occurrences
! Explanation
! Half age
! Years ago
|-
| 16
| 2000
| April 29, 2008
| ''{{w|Grand Theft Auto IV}}''
| Popular video game published by {{w|Rockstar Games}}; the 11th title in the ''{{w|Grand Theft Auto}}'' series. The games are often rated as Mature (and thus aimed at adults) and this entrance should not really affect 16 year olds, who may have tried the game now, but should not have played the game when they were only 8 years old.
| 8
| 8.5
|-
| 17
| 1999
| May 2007
| {{w|Rickrolling}}
| A prank and internet meme involving an unexpected appearance of the music video for the 1987 Rick Astley song "{{w|Never Gonna Give You Up}}", a bait and switch which has been [[:Category:Rickrolling|referred to often]] in xkcd. Since this was aimed at people who knew the song (from 1987) and were online (mainly young adults in 2007), this entry should not really affect 17 year olds who are unlikely to have been rickrolled when they were only 8.5 years old.
| 8.5
| 9.5
|-
| 18
| 1998
| April 13, 2007
| ''{{w|Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters}}''
| American Flash animated surreal comedy film based on the {{w|Adult Swim}} animated series ''{{w|Aqua Teen Hunger Force}}''. This seems to be a joke, as both this movie and the one it was based on are for adults, and the people this targets would only have been 9 when it was released, and probably won't recognize the reference. The joke will fail, because they will not feel old. Very few people have ever heard of this movie, which is probably part of the joke.
| 9
| 9.6
|-
| 19
| 1997
| November 19, 2006
| The {{w|Nintendo Wii}}
| 2006 is the time when the Nintendo Wii was released, with the Wii dominating 2006-2012. Ten year olds were likely to play Wii, and thus as 20 year olds remember and be surprised at how long it is since the first time, and feel old. This is the first entry that might actually work.
| 9.5
| 10.0
|-
| 20
| 1996
| March 2006
| {{w|Twitter}}
| 2006 was a big year. Twitter was created. There were probably only a few 10-11 year olds that used Twitter in the first year of its release, and thus not many twenty year old people today would have been active on Twitter at the very beginning. This will only make that minority of people feel old.
| 10
| 10.7
|-
| 21
| 1995
| November 22, 2005 (Xbox 360), September 30, 2005 (xkcd)
| The {{w|Xbox 360}}, {{w|xkcd}}
| 2005 saw the creation of the Xbox 360, another successful console. [[Randall]] also decided to throw in a 'reference joke', referring to the fact that xkcd was also created in 2005 where the [[:Category:First day on LiveJournal|first 13 comics]] where released on [[LiveJournal]] on September 30, 2005. As a callback, he has two x words in the same sentence, referring to [[1750: Life Goals]]. The same two words were both in that comic. (Average release date for the two was October 25, 2005). The Xbox will work on the twenty-one year old, for the same reason the Wii above would work. xkcd would not, because it is not directed at pre-teens. They would not have any feelings towards the comic. It is included to make faithful xkcd readers feel old. "Is it really more than 10 years ago I read it first..." (and also for the self-reference).
| 10.5
| 11.0
|-
| 22
| 1994
| 2005 (no specific date)
| {{w|Chuck Norris Facts}}
| Satirical factoids about martial artist and actor {{w|Chuck Norris}} began to appear on the Internet in early 2005. To begin with, they where not centered on Norris, instead focusing {{w|Vin Diesel}}. This makes it difficult to put a precise date on their appearance than "During the year 2005." Chuck Norris has {{w|Chuck_Norris_facts#Norris.27_response|replied to these factoids}} more than once, but the first time was in December 2006, almost two years after the {{w|meme}}s began appearing. The "facts" are mainly based on his series {{w|Walker, Texas Ranger}}, which ran from 1993-2001. Since the series ended when the twenty-two-year-old of today was 7, they were not the target group for the crazy Chuck Norris Facts. It seems unlikely that this entry would work.
| 11
| 11.5
|-
| 23
| 1993
| January 25, 2004
| {{w|Opportunity (rover)|Opportunity}}'s Mars Exploration
| {{w|Opportunity (rover)|Opportunity}} is a {{w|Mars rover}} that landed on Mars on January 25, 2004. Mars Rovers are a [[:Category:Mars rovers|recurring subject]] on xkcd. Even people who were not interested in science were very aware of Opportunity's voyage--it was covered in every type of news medium for a long time.
| 11.5
| 12.8
|-
| 24
| 1992
| February 4, 2004
| {{w|Facebook}}
| Facebook is a social networking service created in 2004 as a competitor to {{w|Myspace}}. It grew quickly to become the #1 social networking service. Since kids under thirteen are not allowed on Facebook, twenty-four-year-olds could not have signed up at the time of its foundation. When it was opened up for anyone in 2006, they would have been fourteen, but that would then only have been 10 years ago. However, today everyone knows about Facebook (and many preteens created accounts by lying about their ages), and to learn that it has existed for half of your life may make you feel old even if you didn't sign up immediately.
| 12
| 12.8
|-
| 25
| 1991
| April 1, 2004 (Gmail), July 9, 2003 (''Pirates of the Caribbean'')
| {{w|Gmail}}, ''{{w|Pirates of the Caribbean (film series)|Pirates of the Caribbean}}''
| Gmail is an email service created by Google. It was originally invitation-only (until 2007), and not marketed to kids, so it is unlikely that many thirteen year olds would have been using it in 2004; however, it has since been opened to anyone, and a lot of 25 year olds use it today. The first movie in the ''Pirates of the Caribbean'' franchise, {{w|Curse of the Black Pearl}}, debuted in 2003. Three more movies followed before the release of this comic (average date is November 4, 2003). The movie was rated PG-13 and would likely have been a hit among 12-13 year old kids, so this would make many people born in 1991 feel old.
| 12.5
| 13.0
|-
| 26
| 1990
| January 7, 2003
| {{w|In da Club}}
| Rap song by {{w|50 Cent}}. The song was a #1 hit on multiple charts and in multiple countries. It is very likely that people who were thirteen at its release would have been aware of it, even if they were not "clubbing" themselves yet.
| 13
| 13.8
|-
| 27
| 1989
| September 20, 2002
| ''{{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}}''
| ''Firefly'' is a space western drama TV series created by {{w|Joss Whedon}}, that became a cult classic. This may be Randall's favorite TV series, and it has been [[:Category:Firefly|referenced often]] in xkcd.
| 13.5
| 14.1
|-
| 28
| 1988
| October 7, 2001
| The {{w|War in Afghanistan}}
| The United States of America invaded Afghanistan shortly after the {{w|September 11 attacks}} (popularly known as 9/11), in an effort to eliminate the terrorist group {{w|al-Qaeda}}. Almost anyone who was 14 in 2001 would have been aware of the war.
| 14
| 15.1
|-
| 29
| 1987
| October 23, 2001
| The {{w|iPod}}
| The iPod was a music playing device created by {{w|Apple Inc.}} in 2001. This would probably make lots of 29 year-olds feel old. 14-15 year old kids were likely to have had (or wished they had) an iPod.
| 14.5
| 15.0
|-
| 30
| 1986
| May 18, 2001 (''Shrek''), January 15, 2001 (Wikipedia)
| ''{{w|Shrek}}'', {{w|Wikipedia}}
| ''Shrek'' is a popular parody film about fairy tales. It quickly gained a cult following and became a mega-hit, earning it three sequels and a franchise. It was a big hit popular for ages. Fifteen-year-olds were likely to know and love the movie, so they would probably feel old as 30-year-olds realizing it came out half their life ago.

Wikipedia is a an online encyclopedia created in 2001, which anyone can edit. (It is massively linked to from [[explain xkcd]] which has a [[:Category:Wikipedia|Wikipedia category]] for comics like this that reference the website directly). (Average date is March 17, 2001). It is questionable how many kids used Wikipedia during the year it launched. Of course, realizing that before Wikipedia, you had to use a paper encyclopedia may still make a 30 year old feel old.
| 15
| 15.8
|-
| 31
| 1985
| July 14, 2000
| Those X-Men movies
| The {{w|X-Men (film series)|X-Men}} film series, probably only referring to the first trilogy (''{{w|X-Men (film)|X-Men}}'' (July 14, 2000), ''{{w|X2 (film)|X2}}'' (May 2, 2003), ''{{w|X-Men: The Last Stand}}'' (May 26, 2006) - us release dates). The release date refers to the first of these three movies. Presumably Randall is counting the series as existing from the time of the first release. 15-16 year old kids are likely to have loved ''X-Men'', and feel old when they realize it came out half their life ago.
| 15.5
| 16.3
|-
| 32
| 1984
| February 4, 2000
| ''{{w|The Sims}}''
| ''The Sims'' is a simulation video game created by Maxis in 2000 in which you build homes, cities, and families. It was an immediate success upon launch. It seems likely that many people would have played The Sims, and thus many 32 year old people would feel old. This was the one that Randall could have used on himself to feel old. He turned 32 a few weeks before the release of this comic.
| 16
| 16.8
|-
| 33
| 1983
| October 19, 1998
| Autotuned hit songs
| 1998 was when non-audio-professionals became aware of {{w|Auto-Tune|autotuning}} songs. {{w|Cher|Cher's}} song ''{{w|Believe (Cher song)|Believe}}'', released October 19, 1998 {{w|Auto-Tune#In_popular_music|may be the first time}} that most people really noticed autotuning. This is the only entry where there seems to be more than one year between the age of the thing and the half age of the person. However, it is also one of the entries where specific dating is difficult. Because the dates are not specific, it is difficult to judge how it would affect 33 year old people. Autotuning has been a standard for years, so it may make one feel old to know it has around for half your life.
| 16.5
| '''18.1'''
|-
| 34
| 1982
| May 19, 1999
| The {{w|Star Wars Prequels}}
| The Star Wars prequel trilogy (''{{w|Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace}}'' (May 19, 1999), ''{{w|Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones}}'' (May 16, 2002), ''{{w|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith}}'' (May 19, 2005), us release dates). The {{w|Star Wars}} universe is most likely the [[:Category:Star Wars|most referenced]] movie universe in xkcd. The release date refers to the first of these three movies, because even only taking the first two movies, the average would only be 16 years ago, less than half the age of a 34 year old. These movies were awaited eagerly by many 17 year old kids, so they would remember the release well and feel very old.
| 17
| 17.5
|-
| 35
| 1981
| March 31, 1999
| ''{{w|The Matrix}}''
| Action film created by {{w|The Wachowskis}} (formerly known, at the time of ''The Matrix'', as The Wachowski Brothers). Two more films followed, although they were widely regarded as inferior to the first (by for instance by Randall as seen in [[566: Matrix Revisited]]). ''The Matrix'' was something new and is likely to have influenced 17-18 year old kids, so this entry would likely to produce feelings of age.
| 17.5
| 17.6
|-
| 36
| 1980
| September 28, 1998
| {{w|Pokémon Red & Blue}}
| A popular video game franchise in the {{w|Pokémon}} series, a series [[:Category:Pokémon|often referenced]] in xkcd. The game was first released in Japan in 1996, but not in North America until 1998. It seems likely that many people interested in playing computer games would have played Pokémon games. and in particular this one, which was released when the target group was 18 years old. And now that's half their life ago, perhaps making them feel old.
| 18
| 18.1
|-
| 37
| 1979
| August 29, 1997 (Netflix), June 26, 1997 (Harry Potter), September 15, 1997 (Google)
| {{w|Netflix}}, {{w|Harry Potter}}, {{w|Google}}
| All three are still major things 19 years later. "Harry Potter" refers to the original publishing date of ''{{w|Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone}}''. Google refers to the date that the Google domain name was registered. (Average date is 03-07-1997). Harry Potter is widely read, but at the time of its release it was probably not at first taken up by those of 18-19 year old. That may have first come later, maybe with the release of the {{w|Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (film)|first movies}} in 2001, four years later. This may not be the best example for this age group. Also using Google and Netflix just when they where launched may also not have been so popular among 18-19 year olds in 1997. Still, all three things are big, and to realize that they have been around for half of a life may still make someone feel old.
| 18.5
| 19.4
|-
| 38
| 1978
| May 11, 1997
| Deep Blue's Victory
| {{w|Deep Blue (chess computer)|Deep Blue}} was a {{w|chess computer}}, who defeated {{w|Garry Kasparov}}, the reigning chess champion, in a match in 1997. It was the first chess computer to defeat a world champion under tournament conditions. Randall has a great interest in {{w|chess}} and it is a [[:Category:Chess|recurrent subject]] on xkcd. Unless a 38 year old is interested in chess, they may not even know what Deep Blue is, let alone have any impression of long ago the victory occurred. Chess players and computer nerds (both of whom are very likely to be xkcd fans) would certainly be aware of this particular day.
| 19
| 19.5
|-
| 39
| 1977
| September 13, 1996
| {{w|Murder of Tupac Shakur|Tupac's Death}}
| {{w|Tupac Shakur}} was an American rapper, record producer, and actor. He was fatally shot in a drive-by shooting in 1996. Eight of his albums are certified platinum (five released after his death), and he has been ranked as one of the greatest artists of all time. (Rolling Stone ranked him 86/100). It seems likely that many 39 year olds would feel old realizing that 2Pac has been dead for half of their lives.
| 19.5
| 20.2
|-
| 40
| 1976
| December 31, 1995
| The [http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1995/12/31 last ''Calvin and Hobbes'' strip]
| ''{{w|Calvin and Hobbes}}'' is a comic strip by {{w|Bill Watterson}} that ran from November 18, 1985 to December 31, 1995. It is a [[:Category:Calvin and Hobbes|recurring subject]] on xkcd . This comic had a lot of fans among people that are 40 today. Even those who didn't read it during its run may have discovered it later. Even those who didn't notice the ending at the time, might still feel old realizing it was so long ago.
| 20
| 20.9
|-
| 41
| 1975
| November 22, 1995
| ''{{w|Toy Story}}''
| The {{w|Pixar}} animated film ''Toy Story'' was the first feature length digitally-animated film to be released theatrically (and also Pixar's first feature film). Given that this was the first film of its kind, many 20-21 year olds would have seen it. For xkcd fans, such movies might be a big thing. For anyone who saw this movie (and the sequels) this could cause feelings of age. Side note: 41 year olds might actually feel young when reading this comic in November 2016, because they are the last people to still be expected to feel young before Randall deliberately destroys the feeling.
| 20.5
| 21.0
|-
| >41
| Before 1975
| N/A
| [Don't worry, they've got this covered]
| This joke is that people who are legitimately old already feel old. This could also be a reference to the number 42, 42 being the "{{w|Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything}}" in the {{w|Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}. He has referenced this number more than once before, for instance in [[1213: Combination Vision Test]] and in the [[1608#Messages_in_Play_Area|messages in the ''Play Area'']] of [[1608: Hoverboard]]. Showing people 42 years or more old this table will make them feel old, when they look for their age and find this. Also, it may disappoint older readers of xkcd, as they do not to get their own humorous half-your-life entry. (See the opposite effect mentioned for the 41 years old above).
| >20.5
| N/A
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:The November 2016
:Guide to making people
:'''feel old'''
:
:[A chart with a list of items to be put into the two first lines above the chart. First there are a line using the first column, then there are two lines using the second column. Below those lines are the two columns with underlined captions above. Between the columns are a long line connecting the two.]
:If they're [age], you say:
:<big>"Did you know</big> [thing] <big>has been around for the majority of your life?"</big>
:
:;Age
::Thing
:
:;16
::Grand Theft Auto IV
:
:;17
::Rickrolling
:
:;18
::''Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters''
:
:;19
::The Nintendo Wii
:
:;20
::Twitter
:
:;21
::The Xbox 360, xkcd
:
:;22
::Chuck Norris Facts
:
:;23
::Opportunity's Mars Exploration
:
:;24
::Facebook
:
:;25
::Gmail, ''Pirates of the Caribbean''
:
:;26
::In da Club
:
:;27
::''Firefly''
:
:;28
::The War in Afghanistan
:
:;29
::The iPod
:
:;30
::''Shrek'', Wikipedia
:
:;31
::Those X-Men movies
:
:;32
::''The Sims''
:
:;33
::Autotuned hit songs

:;34
::The ''Star Wars'' prequels
:
:;35
::''The Matrix''
:
:;36
::''Pokémon Red&Blue''
:
:;37
::Netflix, ''Harry Potter'', Google
:
:;38
::Deep Blue's Victory
:
:;39
::Tupac's Death
:
:;40
::The last ''Calvin and Hobbes'' strip
:
:;41
::''Toy Story''
:
:;>41
::[Don't worry, they've got this covered]

==Trivia==
* The comic [[891: Movie Ages]], released 5 years earlier, used a very similar technique to make people feel old, by giving the number of years that had elapsed since landmark movies were released. Some of those movies (''Toy Story'', ''The Matrix'', ''Shrek'') also appear in this comic. That same comic also ended with a similar punchline, by ending the chart at 35 (with people over 35 considered as "too old" for the chart). It is possible that Randall's increasing of the limit to 41 reflects his own increasing age; perhaps he no longer thinks people at 36 are too old to try to make them feel old.
* Other comics with date-based titles include:
** Month-day format: [[656: October 30th]], [[680: December 25th]]
** Month in the name: [[1595: 30 Days Hath September]]
** A single year: [[998: 2012]], [[1311: 2014]], [[1624: 2016]], [[1779: 2017]]
** The comic [[1898: October 2017]], released almost a year later, uses the same title format as this comic, and is also about making people feel old.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Rickrolling]]
[[Category:Social networking]]
[[Category:Mars rovers]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Chess]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Calvin and Hobbes]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:The Matrix]]

1688: Map Age Guide

2025-03-22T08:03:39Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 1688
| date = June 1, 2016
| title = Map Age Guide
| image = map_age_guide.png
| titletext = Does the screeching chill your blood and herald death? If yes, banshee. If no, seagull.
}}

* A [http://xkcd.com/1688/large/ larger version] of this image can be found by clicking the image at xkcd.com - the comic's page can also be accessed by clicking on the comic number above.

==Explanation==
The comic consists of a flowchart depicting various ways to tell what era a map is from based on present country borders and land forms. (Except in the Not a Political Map Branch (from "Can you see the familiar continents?" downwards), the comic applies to a political map.) While many of the options are very serious, a few bizarre options reference fictional maps (Pratchett's {{w|Discworld}}, Lewis's {{w|Narnia}} and Tolkien's {{w|Middle-earth}}), or consider that cats, seagulls, staplers, tubas or breadboxes could be mistaken for a map. Randall also mentions US President {{w|Jimmy Carter}} being [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Carter_rabbit_incident attacked by a giant swimming rabbit], an event previously referenced as one we must never forget in [[204: America]].

The flowchart, although probably effective in eventually identifying the production year of certain maps, is designed in a rather inefficient way, as some early distinctions are already on a very detailed level before some really important distinctions (fictional or non-political map) are made. This, of course, adds to the humorous tone of the comic. It is also hampered by several smaller or larger errors (see [[#Trivia|trivia]]), the biggest being a whole section on I-25 that gives years in the range 1948–1952, before I-25 was built, and coming from a question that fixed the year range to 1960–1961.

Additionally, (possible) future maps including a "Radioactive Exclusion Zone" in the place of Colorado are mentioned. It predicts that some kind of nuclear incident will occur in Colorado (possibly at Rulison or Rio Blanco nuclear testing sites) in 2022. It also predicts that the area will be infested by radioactive spiders one year later. As it is 2024 now, we see that both claims have been proven incorrect.{{Citation needed}}

The title text continues the path where the user has confused a seagull for a map by inquiring if the (presumed) seagull might be a banshee based on the effect of its screams.

===Table===
*Going through the flowchart, taking the leftmost path first, recursively. (Note there is no recursive loop, any loop is your mistake). See also {{w|Depth-first search}}.
**"Prior Date Range" is the range determined immediately before the question, carried over from the previous question.
**"Question Date Range" is the range each answer choice implies.
**"New Date Range" is the intersection of the Prior Date Range and the Question Date Range for each choice, and is the range determined by all questions hitherto answered.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Question !! Explanation !! Prior Date Range !! Question Date Range !! New Date Range
|-
! 1
| '''Istanbul or Constantinople'''
| The largest city in {{w|Turkey}} is famous for having different names at different times or to different people. Variations on both names go back at least 1,000 years. Other names have also been used at various points. {{w|Istanbul}} has been the official name in Western languages since the 1920s (although it's been the native name since 1453), although Western maps often referred to it as Constantinople as late as the 1960s; on the flowchart, the choice of name appears to go with the 1920s date. The name changes are the subject of a [http://mentalfloss.com/article/60314/original-istanbul-not-constantinople song], originally by the Four Lads, but now mainly known for the They Might Be Giants recording.
| '''Start here'''
|
* Constantinople: 330 – 1928
* Neither: inconclusive
* Istanbul: 1928+
|
* Constantinople: 330 – 1928 (Go to 2)
* Neither: inconclusive (Go to 19)
* Istanbul: 1928+ (Go to 51)
|-
| colspan="6" | '''Note:''' the chart splits here into three divisions, each from a choice in question 1. The Neither Division will attempt to use other indicators to sort maps into one of the other two divisions or branches thereof; or, after 5 failures to find a country, conclude that the "map" in question is not a political map and proceed to find out what it is (the Not a Political Map Branch). The Constantinople and Istanbul Divisions are linear except where the Neither Division joins them as stated above.
|-
! colspan="6" | Constantinople Division
|-
! 2
| '''Do any of these exist?'''
* '''Independent Canada'''
* '''US Territory of Alaska'''
* '''Tokyo'''
| All these seem to specify a date cut-off of 1867/8, but there are caveats attached to each:
* {{w|Canada}} gained its independence gradually, but it would appear as its own country (the Dominion of Canada) on maps sometime between the {{w|Constitution Act, 1867}} (which created Canada as a British dominion) and the {{w|Statute of Westminster 1931}} (which made Canada largely self-governing).
* The {{w|Territory of Alaska}} was so named from 1912 to 1959. (From the 1867 {{w|Alaska Purchase}} until 1912, it was known as the Alaska District; in 1959, it became the State of Alaska).
* {{w|Tokyo}} was once called Edo. It was renamed Tokyo (which means "Eastern Capital") when it became the capital in 1868. [https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=Tokyo%2CTokei&year_start=1870&year_end=1880&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CTokyo%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CTokei%3B%2Cc0 Most English books around then] would actually have called it "Tokei," the Chinese reading. The name Tokyo didn't take off until {{w|Hepburn romanization}} was popularized in the 1880s.
| 330–1928 (from 1)
1299–1922 (from 19 in the Neither Division)
(from 24 in the Neither Division)
|
* No: 1867-
* Yes: 1868+
|
* No: 330–1867 (Go to 3)
* Yes: 1868–1928 (Go to 11)
|-
! colspan="6" | Holy Roman Empire Branch
|-
! 3
| '''The Holy Roman Empire?'''
| The predecessor to modern Germany, the {{w|Holy Roman Empire}} was a union of hundreds of small states in Central Europe. Nationalism and the concept of the {{w|nation state}} hadn't taken off yet, so countries as we know them didn't really exist. There were just small lands, often with keenly contested borders, owned by minor aristocracy who pledged allegiance to one of the big powers. The HRE was {{w|Dissolution of the Holy Roman Empire|dissolved}} in 1806 after it was invaded by Napoleon, arguably the first leader to realise the potential of making a nation salute a flag.
| 330–1867
|
* Yes: 899–1806
* No: 899- or 1806+
|
* Yes: 899–1806 (Stated in comic as "1805 or earlier," since modern map-making was fuzzy as a concept prior) ('''Stop''')
* No: 330–899 or 1806–67 (Go to 4)
|-
! 4
| '''The United States?'''
| The original {{w|Thirteen Colonies|13 colonies}} declared independence in 1776. A map that does not include ''either'' the HRE ''or'' the USA must be older than the HRE, which would put the map sometime prior to 1000 AD, when there really were no countries, and English wasn't used yet, hence Randall's comment.
| 330–899 or 1806–67
|
* No: 1776-
* Yes: 1776+
|
* No: 330–899 (Not stated in comic, since a map in this period is probably not in English, which violates a proviso of the comic) ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 1806–67 (Go to 5)
|-
! 5
| '''Texas is... Part of Mexico? Independent? Part of the US?'''
| {{w|Mexico}} (and before its independence, {{w|New Spain}}) occupied the area modern-day Texas from around 1718 ({{w|Spanish Texas|when the first permanent Spanish settlements were founded}}) to the {{w|Texas Declaration of Independence}} in 1836 (the comic apparently cited 1834 as the date) – the land called "Texas" was only a small part of the modern-day state. The {{w|Republic of Texas}} only lasted a decade and joined the US in 1846.
| 1806–67
|
* Part of Mexico: 1718–1836
* Independent: 1836–46
* Part of the US: 1846+
|
* Part of Mexico: 1806–36 (Go to 6)
* Independent: 1836–46 (stated in comic as 1834–45 – a discrepancy) ('''Stop''')
* Part of the US: 1846–67 (Go to 9)
|-
! 6
| '''Florida is part of... Spain? The US?'''
| Spain occupied {{w|Florida}} (as {{w|East Florida}} and {{w|West Florida}}) but frankly they didn't actually want it – it was expensive to send people to settle it, and there wasn't much economic value in it. So they gave it to the US for free in the 1819 {{w|Adams–Onís Treaty}} (which took effect in 1821) in exchange for the US giving up parts of Mexico and paying off angry Spanish settlers. (For some reason, the comic treats Florida as part of the US in 1818; see questions 7 and 8.)
| 1806–36
|
* Spain: 1565–1763 or 1783–1821
* The US: 1821+
|
* Spain: 1806–21 (Go to 7)
* The US: 1821–36 (Go to 8)
|-
! 7
| '''{{w|Paraguay}}?'''
| Declared independence from Spain in 1811 (although it might appear on older maps as the Spanish Province of Paraguay).
| 1806–21
|
* No: 1811-
* Yes: 1811+
|
* No: 1806–11 (stated in comic as 1806–10) ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 1811–21 (stated in comic as 1811–17 – a discrepancy (see question 6)) ('''Stop''')
|-
! 8
| '''{{w|Venezuela}} and/or {{w|Ecuador?}}'''
| Both declared independence from {{w|Gran Colombia}} (Greater Colombia) in 1830.
| 1821–36
|
* No: 1830-
* Yes: 1830+
|
* No: 1821–30 (stated in comic as 1818–29 – a discrepancy (see question 6)) ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 1830–36 (stated in comic as 1830–33 – a discrepancy (see question 5)) ('''Stop''')
|-
! 9
| '''Does Russia border the Sea of Japan?'''
| The 1858 {{w|Treaty of Aigun}} brought the {{w|Russian Empire}}'s border to the {{w|Sea of Japan}}.
| 1846–67
|
* No: 1858-
* Yes: 1858+
|
* No: 1846–58 (Go to 10)
* Yes: 1858–67 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 10
| '''The US's southern border looks...'''
| The last southward expansion of the US is the 1854 {{w|Gadsden Purchase}}, where the US bought a chunk of what is now {{w|Arizona}} and {{w|New Mexico}} so they could build a railway that avoided unfavourable terrain. The southern border looks "weird" before that because we are accustomed to the current border shape.
| 1846–58
|
* Weird: 1854-
* Normal: 1854+
|
* Weird: 1846–54 (stated in comic as 1846–53) ('''Stop''')
* Normal: 1854–58 (stated in comic as 1854–56 – a discrepancy (where is 1857?)) ('''Stop''')
|-
! colspan="6" | South Africa Branch
|-
! 11
| '''{{w|South Africa}}?'''
| The {{w|Union of South Africa}} was created in 1910 out of the four British colonies ({{w|Cape Colony}}, {{w|Colony of Natal|Natal}}, {{w|Transvaal Colony|Transvaal}} and {{w|Orange River Colony|Orange River}}), although South Africa was then not yet fully independent from the United Kingdom (which would not happen until 1931).
| 1868–1928
|
* No: 1910-
* Yes: 1910+
|
* No: 1868–1910 (Go to 12)
* Yes: 1910–28 (Go to 16)
|-
! 12
| '''Rhodesia?'''
| The region that now makes up {{w|Zambia}} and {{w|Zimbabwe}} was named {{w|Rhodesia (region)|"Rhodesia"}} by the {{w|British South Africa Company}} in 1895. An {{w|Rhodesia|unrecognised state}} (1965–79) and a {{w|Southern Rhodesia|colony}} (1923–80 on-and-off) also bore this name, but they are both outside the Prior Date Range.
| 1868–1910
|
* No: 1895-
* Yes: 1895+
|
* No: 1868–95 (Go to 13)
* Yes: 1895–1910 (Go to 15)
|-
! 13
| '''Is Bolivia landlocked?'''
| {{w|Bolivia}} lost its coastal territory to {{w|Chile}} in the {{w|War of the Pacific}}, ceding {{w|Antofagasta}} in the {{w|Treaty of Valparaiso}} in 1884.
| 1868–95
|
* No: 1825–84
* Yes: 1884+
|
* No: 1868–84 (Go to 14)
* Yes: 1884–95 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 14
| '''"Buda" and "Pest" or "Budapest"?'''
| In 1873, the Hungarian cities of {{w|Buda}} and {{w|Pest, Hungary|Pest}} joined together to form the city of {{w|Budapest}}.
| 1868–84
|
* Buda and Pest: 1247–1873
* Budapest: 1873+
|
* Buda and Pest: 1868–73 (stated in comic as 1868–72) ('''Stop''')
* Budapest: 1873–84 (stated in comic as 1873–83) ('''Stop''')
|-
! 15
| '''Is Norway part of Sweden?'''
| {{w|Norway}} was ceded to {{w|Sweden}} in 1814, from which it separated in 1905.
| 1895–1910
|
* Yes: 1814–1905
* No: 1814- or 1905+
|
* Yes: 1895–1905 (Stated in comic as 1896–1905) ('''Stop''')
* No: 1905–10 (Stated in comic as 1906–09) ('''Stop''')
|-
! 16
| '''Austria-Hungary?'''
| {{w|Austria-Hungary}} formed in 1867 and dissolved in 1918. (Clueless bureaucrats of the time loved to abbreviate the name to just "Austria", but mapmakers tended to be more careful than that.)
| 1910–28
|
* Yes: 1867–1918
* No: 1918+
|
* Yes: 1910–18 (Go to 17)
* No: 1918–28 (Go to 18)
|-
! 17
| '''Albania?'''
| {{w|Albania}} declared independence from the {{w|Ottoman Empire}} in 1912.
| 1910–18
|
* No: 1912-
* Yes: 1912+
|
* No: 1910–12 ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 1912–18 (stated in comic as 1913–18) ('''Stop''')
|-
! 18
| '''Leningrad?'''
| {{w|Saint Petersburg}} was known as Leningrad between 1924 and 1991. The city was founded in 1703 as Saint Petersburg (specific spellings vary); in August 1914, due to major anti-German sentiment related to WWI, it was renamed Petrograd (essentially the Russian translation of Petersburg). On January 26, 1924, five days after the death of {{w|Vladimir Lenin}} (the main revolutionary leader), the new Communist government (hostile to both the Orthodox {{w|Saint Peter}} the city was named after and the Czar {{w|Peter the Great}} who named it) renamed the city Leningrad in his honor. After the decline of the Soviet government in 1991, the name became unpopular, and a referendum in June 1991 (concurrently with the first Russian presidential election) restored the name Saint Petersburg for the city (officially in September 1991), which it holds to this day.
| 1918–28
|
* No: 1924- or 1991+
* Yes: 1924–91
|
* No: 1918–24 (stated in comic as 1919–23) ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 1924–28 (stated in comic as 1924–29) ('''Stop''')
|-
! colspan="6" | Neither Division
|-
! 19
| '''Does the Ottoman Empire exist?'''
| The {{w|Ottoman Empire}} was founded in 1299, and defeated and dissolved on November 1, 1922 when the sultanate was abolished.
| Inconclusive
|
* Yes: 1299–1922
* No: 1299- or 1922+
|
* Yes: 1299–1922 (Go to 2 in the Constantinople Division)
* No: 1299- or 1922+ (Go to 20)
|-
! 20
| '''The Soviet Union?'''
| The {{w|Soviet Union}} is one of the largest countries ever to exist consisting of Russia and large portions of eastern Europe and central Asia. It was a major political force from December 28, 1922, when several allied Soviet republics united, to 1991, when it broke up.
''Note:'' This question is the same as question 51 in the Istanbul Division, but because there a Prior Date Range of 1928+ has already been established by the presence of Istanbul, we need one more question to determine whether we are within the range of 1928+.
| 1299- or 1922+
|
* Yes: 1922–91
* No: 1922- or 1991+
|
* Yes: 1922–91 (Go to 21)
* No: 1299- or 1922 (November 1–December 28) or 1991+ (Go to 22)
|-
! 21
| '''Saudi Arabia?'''
| The Kingdom of {{w|Saudi Arabia}} was founded in 1932. It is the first modern state to exert control over the area it claims, which previously were controlled by various tribal leaders. Most maps before 1932 will not mark the area as belonging to a nation at all, will attempt to mark the various shifting chieftains, or will attribute the land to the {{w|Ottoman Empire}}, which claimed the land but did not effectively control it.
| 1922–91
|
* Yes: 1932+
* No: 1932-
|
* Yes: 1932–91 (Go to 52 in the Istanbul Division)
* No: 1922–32 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 22
| '''North Korea?'''
| The {{w|Korean Peninsula}} was divided into two regions, the north of which would be known as {{w|North Korea}}, at the end of {{w|World War II}} in 1945. This resulted in the inconclusive {{w|Korean War}}.
| 1299- or 1922 (November 1–December 28) or 1991+
|
* Yes: 1945+
* No: 1945-
|
* Yes: 1991+ (Go to 69 in the Istanbul Division)
* No: 1299- or 1922 (November 1–December 28) (Go to 23)
|-
! 23
| '''Saint Trimble's Island'''
| Since [[Randall]] just made up this place, it is impossible that a map would include it, probably as a {{w|trap street|cartographer's fingerprint}} indicating plagiarism?
| 1299- or 1922 (November 1–December 28)
|
* No: inconclusive
* Yes: impossible
|
* No: 1299- or 1922 (November 1–December 28) (Go to 24)
* Yes: impossible ('''Stop''')
|-
! 24
| '''Is Jan Mayen part of the kingdom of Norway?'''
| Jurisdiction over the island of {{w|Jan Mayen}} was given to {{w|Norway}} around 1920, and it officially joined in 1930. '''Note:''' Strictly speaking, it should be almost impossible to answer "Yes" to this question – the Ottoman Empire existed until 1922, the Soviet Union existed from 1922 to 1991, and North Korea from 1945 onwards, so by answering "No" to the previous three questions, the user has ruled out the entire period during which Norway has officially owned Jan Mayen, and almost the entire period it controlled it barring an extremely slim sliver of time between November 1, 1922 to December 28, 1922. The following questions ignore the previous ones (East Germany only existed at the same time as the USSR, and Pakistan was founded later than North Korea, so both should have already been excluded) – essentially, the Jan Mayen question reboots the test.
| 1299- or 1922 (November 1–December 28)
|
* Not yet: prior to 1930
* What?: Not a political map
* Yes: 1930+
|
* Not yet: (Go to 2 in the Constantinople Division)
* What?: (Go to 25)
* Yes: (Go to 53 in the Istanbul Division)
|-
! colspan="6" | Not a Political Map Branch
|-
! 25
| '''Can you see the familiar continents?'''
| At this point, it is clear that the map in question is not a political map from any time. Therefore, the comic tries to determine whether it is a map of the Earth at all by asking if the continents are there.
|
|
* Yes: map of the Earth
* No: not a map of the Earth
|
* Yes: map of the Earth (Go to 26)
* No: not a map of the Earth (Go to 32)
|-
! colspan="6" | Topographical Map / Satellite Image Subbranch
|-
! 26
| '''This sounds like a physical map or satellite photo.'''
| A map of the Earth that does not label political regions must be a topological map; or, it can be a satellite image of the Earth.
| Map of the Earth
|
* Yes, that's it: topographical map or satellite image of the Earth
|
* Yes, that's it: topographical map or satellite image of the Earth (Go to 27)
|-
! 27
| '''Is Lake Chad missing?'''
| {{w|Lake Chad}} lost 75% of its area in the 1970s, becoming too small to be included in a map or picture of the Earth.
| Topographical map or satellite image of the Earth
|
* No: 1970s-
* Yes: 1970s+
|
* No: 1970s- (Go to 28)
* Yes: 1970s+ (Go to 31)
|-
! 28
| '''How far east do the American prairies reach?'''
| As settlers made their way west, the prairie land in the {{w|Great Plains}} region was steadily replaced by farmland and ranches. By the 1920s, most of the land had been converted to agricultural use, and the last of the prairie was largely obliterated by the {{w|Dust Bowl}}s in the 1930s. The dividing lines correspond roughly to the three types of prairie: {{w|tallgrass prairie}} grew between the Mississippi and Indiana, {{w|mixed grass prairie}} covered Nebraska and other states on the {{w|100th meridian west}}, and {{w|shortgrass prairie}} covered the remaining area east of the Rocky Mountains. There's some overlap in the dates, since it's fairly arbitrary at what point you say the prairies stopped existing. There are still patches of prairie (covering about 1% of their former reach), but these are probably not visible in a satellite image.

| 1970s-
|
* Indiana: Before 1830
* The Mississippi: 1830–1880s
* Nebraska: 1860s–1910s
* What prairies?: 1920s+
|
* Indiana: Before 1830 ('''Stop''')
* The Mississippi: 1830–80s ('''Stop''')
* Nebraska: 1860s–1910s (Go to 29)
* What prairies?: 1920s–1970s (Go to 30)
|-
! 29
| '''Is there a big lake in the middle of Southern California? (created by mistake)'''
| This is {{w|Salton Sea}}, a previously dry lake bed accidentally flooded in 1905 while attempting to increase irrigation to the area from the Colorado River
| 1860s–1910s
|
* No: before 1905
* Yes: 1905+
|
* No: 1860s–1900s ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 1910s ('''Stop''')
|-
! 30
| '''Is there a big lake in the middle of Ghana? (created on purpose)'''
| {{w|Lake Volta}}, formed by the {{w|Akosombo Dam}} which was built in the 1960s
| 1920s–1970s
|
* No: before 1960s
* Yes: 1960s+
|
* No: 1920s–50s ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 1960s–70s ('''Stop''')
|-
! 31
| '''Is the Aral Sea missing?'''
| Shrinking since the 1930s, the {{w|Aral Sea}} would be too small to be on maps or images of the Earth by the 2000s.
| 1970s+
|
* No: 1990s-
* Yes: 2000s+
|
* No: 1970s-90s ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 2000s+ ('''Stop''')
|-
! colspan="6" | ''Topograpical Map / Satellite Image Subbranch ends''
|-
! colspan="6" | Fictional Map / Non-Map Subbranch
|-
! 32
| '''Rivers "Sirion" or "Anduin"?'''
| The rivers {{w|List of Middle-earth rivers#Sirion|Sirion}} and {{w|Anduin}} are part of {{w|Middle-earth|Middle-earth}}, the fictional setting of J.R.R. Tolkien's ''{{w|The Lord of the Rings}}'' books.
| Not a map of the Earth
|
* Yes: map of Middle-earth
* No: inconclusive
|
* Yes: map of Middle-earth (Go to 33)
* No: not a map of the Earth (Go to 37)
|-
! colspan="6" | Middle-earth Subbranch
|-
! 33
| '''Mordor?'''
| {{w|Mordor}} is the base of operations of {{w|Sauron}}, who settled there c. 1000 in the {{w|Second Age}} (which lasted for 3,441 years).
| Map of Middle-earth
|
* No: S.A. c. 1000-
* Yes: S.A. c. 1000+
|
* No: S.A. c. 1000- (Go to 34)
* Yes: S.A. c. 1000+ (Go to 35)
|-
! 34
| '''Beleriand?'''
| {{w|Beleriand}} was broken in the {{w|War of Wrath}} in the year 583 in the {{w|Years of the Sun}} in the {{w|First Age}}. The First Age itself ran for 450 Valian Years and 590 Years of the Sun, adding up to between 5,023 and 65,390 Years of the Sun, depending on the conversion factor used ({{w|J. R. R. Tolkien}} has given several during the years). Note that Randall has apparently ignored the time before the First Age (4,550 Valian Years).
| S.A. c. 1000-
|
* Yes: Y.S. 583 First Age-
* No: Y.S. 583 First Age+
|
* Yes: Y.S. 583 First Age- (stated in comic as First Age) ('''Stop''')
* No: Y.S. 583 First Age–S.A. c. 1000 (stated in comic as early Second Age) ('''Stop''')
|-
! 35
| '''Númenor?'''
| The island of {{w|Númenor}} was raised from the sea at the start of the Second Age. It sank back into the sea in 3319 in the Second Age, as the formerly flat Earth was made into a globe.
| S.A. c. 1000+
|
* Yes: S.A. 1–3319
* No: First Age- or S.A. 3319+
|
* Yes: S.A. c. 1000–3319 (stated in comic as late Second Age) ('''Stop''')
* No: S.A. 3319+ (Go to 36)
|-
! 36
| '''The forest east of the Misty Mountains is...'''
| The forest {{w|Mirkwood}} was called Greenwood the Great from its discovery by the Elves c. V.Y. 4620 in the First Age to 1050 in the {{w|Third Age}} when the shadow of Sauron fell upon it and it was renamed. It was cleansed on 'March' 28, 3019 in the Third Age (which ran for 3,021 years), after which it is called the Wood of Greenleaves. Note that Randall ignores the Fifth Age and onwards; although Tolkien said that the present day is about the end of the Sixth Age or the beginning of the Seventh, nothing is written about these later Ages.
| S.A. 3319+
|
* Greenwood the Great: c. V.Y. 4620–T.A. 1050
* Mirkwood: T.A. 1050–3019–03–28
* The Wood of Greenleaves: T.A. 3019–03–28+
|
* Greenwood the Great: S.A. 3319–T.A. 1050 (stated in comic as early Third Age) ('''Stop''')
* Mirkwood: T.A. 1050–3019–03–28 (stated in comic as Late Third Age) ('''Stop''')
* The Wood of Greenleaves: T.A. 3019–03–28+ (stated in comic as Fourth Age) ('''Stop''')
|-
! colspan="6" | ''Middle-earth Subbranch ends''
|-
! 37
| '''Cair Paravel?'''
| {{w|Cair Paravel}} is the fictional castle where the Kings and Queens of Narnia rule in ''{{w|The Chronicles of Narnia}}''.
| Not a map of the Earth
|
* Yes: map of Narnia
* No: inconclusive
|
* Yes: map of Narnia (Go to 38)
* No: not a map of the Earth (Go to 42)
|-
! colspan="6" | Narnia Subbranch
|-
| colspan="6" | '''Note:''' This series contains seven books, whose original publication order does not match their chronological order. Specifically, ''The Magician's Nephew'' is earlier than ''The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'', and ''The Horse and His Boy'' is between ''The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'' and ''Prince Caspian''. Questions in this subbranch concern whether the place referenced can be found in the map contained in each book, not in which books' time the place exists. Therefore, places that exist in a book published later but is chronologically earlier than another book will not appear in the latter book, even if canonically they still exist in its time. Here are the seven books in their original publication order, which they will be referred to as.

# ''{{w|The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe}}''
# ''{{w|Prince Caspian}}''
# ''{{w|The Voyage of the Dawn Treader}}''
# ''{{w|The Silver Chair}}''
# ''{{w|The Horse and His Boy}}''
# ''{{w|The Magician's Nephew}}''
# ''{{w|The Last Battle}}''
|-
! 38
| '''Calormen?'''
| {{w|Calormen}} is a foreign empire in ''The Chronicles of Narnia''. While it was indirectly referenced in the first three books, it was not included in maps until the later books in the series.
| Map of Narnia
|
* No: 3-
* Yes: 4+
|
* No: 3- (Go to 39)
* Yes: 4+ (Go to 41)
|-
! 39
| '''Lotta islands?'''
| Refers to [http://www.charliewstarr.com/_Media/mapdawntreader.gif this map] from ''The Voyage of the Dawn Treader'', which focused on a ship voyage from Cair Paravel to the eastern edge of the world and back.
| 3-
|
* No: not 3
* Yes: 3
|
* No: 2- (Go to 40)
* Yes: 3 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 40
| '''Beruna'''
| Refers to [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-54_2TDRUbHY/TpJHzFBzmiI/AAAAAAAALOA/q3RnPSvfdJ0/s1600/IMG.jpg the map] of Narnia originally published in Prince Caspian. During the time of ''The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'', the people of Beruna crossed the Great River via a ford, but it had been replaced by a bridge at the beginning of ''Prince Caspian''.
| 2-
|
* Ford: 1
* Bridge: 2
|
* Ford: 1 ('''Stop''')
* Bridge: 2 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 41
| '''Weird recursive heaven?'''
| Refers to ''The Last Battle'', where the protagonists find themselves in {{w|Aslan's Country}}, a glorious afterlife of which Narnia (along with Earth and presumably every other world) is only a shadowy reflection.
| 4+
|
* No: 6-
* Yes: 7
|
* No: 4–6 (stated in comic as one of the random later books) ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 7 ('''Stop''')
|-
! colspan="6" | ''Narnia Subbranch ends''
|-
! 42
| '''Mossflower?'''
| A forest from the ''{{w|Redwall}}'' book series. See also the comic [[370: Redwall]] and [[1722: Debugging]] that references the books.
| Not a map of the Earth
|
* Yes: ''Redwall''
* No: inconclusive
|
* Yes: ''Redwall'' ('''Stop''')
* No: not a map of the Earth (Go to 43)
|-
! 43
| '''Is the world on the back of a turtle?'''
| The comic fantasy book series ''{{w|Discworld}}'' is set on the fictional Discworld, a flat disc balanced on the backs of four elephants which in turn stand on the back of a giant turtle.
| Not a map of the Earth
|
* Yes: ''Discworld''
* No: inconclusive
|
* Yes: ''Discworld'' ('''Stop''')
* No: not a map of the Earth (Go to 44)
|-
! 44
| '''Are you ''sure'' this is a map?'''
| After incorrectly guessing several popular fictional world, it is fair to doubt whether the subject being identified here is a map at all.
| Not a map of the Earth
|
* Yes: a map ''for sure'', just not of the Earth
* No: not a map
|
* Yes: a map ''for sure'', just not of the Earth (Go to 45)
* No: not a map (Go to 47)
|-
! 45
| '''Did you make it yourself?'''
| At this point, the map can only be a homemade map of some other fictional world. (Although it might be a published map of another world, such as Pern, Oz or Mars but there isn't enough room for these options.)
| A map ''for sure'', just not of the Earth
|
* Yes: a homemade map
|
* Yes: a homemade map (Go to 46)
|-
! 46
| '''It's very nice.'''
| A stock response to "[It's] Very nice" is "Thanks, I made it myself". Since we have already done the "made it myself" part, we need to do the other parts too, albeit out of sequence.
| A homemade map
|
* Thank you!: something "very nice"
|
* Thank you!: a "very nice" homemade map ('''Stop''')
|-
! colspan="6" | Not a Map Subbranch
|-
! 47
| '''Is it trying to bite you?'''
| Now we are trying to guess something that is not a map. Makes sense to ask if it's something that bites, right? Right?
| Not a map
|
* No: doesn't bite
* Yes: bites
|
* No: doesn't bite and not a map (Go to 48)
* Yes: bites (Go to 49)
|-
! 48
| '''Is it larger than a breadbox?'''
| A typical, generic question asked by Steve Allen on ''{{w|What's My Line?}}'', and is often used when playing {{w|Twenty Questions}}. However, instead of asking further questions to narrow down the choices, the comic just gives a guess for each response. The comic guesses a breadbox itself as something about the same size as a breadbox.
| Doesn't bite and not a map
|
* Yes: larger than a breadbox
* No: smaller than a breadbox
* About the same: about the same size as a breadbox
|
* Yes: larger than a breadbox, doesn't bite, and not a map (comic guesses a {{w|tuba}}) ('''Stop''')
* No: smaller than a breadbox, doesn't bite, and not a map (comic guesses a {{w|stapler}}) ('''Stop''')
* About the same: about the same size as a breadbox, doesn't bite, and not a map (comic guesses a {{w|breadbox}}) ('''Stop''')
|-
! 49
| '''If you let it go, what does it do?'''
|This assumes that you are holding the biting object. While holding it, the object may have already bitten you, and the consequences of this would most likely be painful.
| Bites
|
* Hisses and runs away: hisses and runs away if let go
* Screeches and flaps around the room breaking things: screeches and flaps around the room breaking things if let go
|
* Hisses and runs away: bites, and hisses and runs away if let go (comic guesses a {{w|cat}}) ('''Stop''')
* Screeches and flaps around the room breaking things: bites, and screeches and flaps around the room breaking things if let go (comic guesses a {{w|seagull}}) ('''Stop''' (however, see 50))
|-
! 50
| '''Does the screeching chill your blood and herald death?'''
| ''Note: Title text question.'' Likely, if a banshee is being held, or flapping around the room, one would have bigger problems than its identification. Also, heralding of death is a difficult quality to identify.
| Bites, and screeches and flaps around the room breaking things if let go
|
* Yes: Screeching chills your blood and heralds death
* No: Screeching does not chill your blood and herald death; or does not screech
|
* Yes: bites; screeches and flaps around the room breaking things if let go; screeching chills your blood and heralds death (title text guesses a {{w|banshee}}) ('''Stop''')
* No: bites; screeches and flaps around the room breaking things if let go; screeching does not chill your blood and herald death (title text guesses a seagull) ('''Stop''')
|-
! colspan="6" | Istanbul Division
|-
! 51
| '''Does the Soviet Union exist?'''
| The {{w|Soviet Union}}, officially the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, existed from 1922 to 1991. After 1991, the Soviet Union split up into Russia and 15 other post-Soviet states.
|1928+
|
* Yes: 1928–1991
* No: 1991+
|
* Yes: 1928–1991 (Go to 52)
* No: 1991+ (Go to 69)
|-
! colspan="6" | West Africa branch
|-
! 52
| '''Is most of West Africa a giant French blob?'''
| Before 1960, most of West Africa consisted of a number of French colonies united under {{w|French West Africa}}.
|1928–1991
|
* Yes: 1928–1960
* No: 1960–1991
|
* Yes: 1928–1960 (Go to 53)
* No: 1960–1991 (Go to 60)
|-
! 53
| '''Pakistan?'''
| {{w|Pakistan}} was officially recognized as its own country in 1947, when {{w|British India}} was granted independence and {{w|Partition of India|partitioned into two nations}}. Pakistan was created at the request of Muslims who wished for a Muslim majority state.
|1928–1960
|
* No: 1928–1947
* Yes: 1947–1960
|
* No: 1928–1947 (Go to 54)
* Yes: 1948–1960 (Go to 56)
|-
! 54
| '''How many Germanys are there?'''
| During WWII, the {{w|Nazi Party}} invaded a large swath of Europe, which would make {{w|Nazi Germany}} huge on the map during that period. After the war, it split up into two countries — {{w|West Germany}} which was part of {{w|NATO}}, and {{w|East Germany}} which was part of the {{w|Warsaw Pact}}. Note that by modern standards, pre-WWII Germany was also quite huge, since at that point Germany included {{w|Prussia}} which contained much of modern Poland as well as Russian {{w|Kaliningrad}}, and in 1938 Germany took control of Austria in the {{w|Anschluss}} and the {{w|Sudetenland}} in {{w|Czechoslovakia}} following the {{w|Munich Agreement}}. Not all maps produced during WWII used the Nazi borders, since the Allies refused to recognize German occupation and supported the {{w|government-in-exile|governments-in-exile}}.
|1928–1947
|
* One: 1928–1940
* One, but it's ''huge'': 1941–1945
* Two: 1946–1947
|
* One: 1928–1940 (Go to 55)
* One, but it's ''huge'': 1941–1945 ('''Stop''')
* Two: 1946–1947 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 55
| '''Persia or Iran?'''
| In 1935 the {{w|Iran|Iranian}} Government requested that westerners call it by the name its own people had used for hundreds of years, rather than after a tribe within it that gained prominence 2500 years earlier. The interval from 1928 to 1930 is dropped from this branch, but it would fall under {{w|Persia}}.
|1928–1940
|
* Persia: 1930–1934
* Iran: 1935–1940
|
* Persia: 1930–1934 ('''Stop''')
* Iran: 1935–1940 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 56
| '''Cambodia?'''
| {{w|Cambodia}} (or Kampuchea) declared independence from France in 1953.
|1948–1960
|
* No: 1948–1953
* Yes: 1953–1960
|
* No: 1948–1953 (Go to 57)
* Yes: 1953–1960 (Go to 59)
|-
! 57
| '''Eritrea is a part of...'''
| {{w|Eritrea}} declared independence from Italy in 1952, joining {{w|Ethiopia}} to create the {{w|Federation of Ethiopia and Eritrea}}.
|1947–1953
|
* Italy: 1948–1952
* Ethiopia: 1952–1953
|
* Italy: 1948–1952 (Go to 58)
* Ethiopia: 1952–1953 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 58
| '''Canada is...'''
| In 1949, the {{w|Dominion of Newfoundland}} became a part of {{w|Canada}}. Before that, it was marked as its own country on the map, so maps from 1948 and before would have Canada "missing a piece" on its east coast as compared to how it looks today.
|1947–1952
|
* Missing a piece: 1948
* Fine: 1949–1952
|
* Missing a piece: 1948 ('''Stop''')
* Fine: 1949–1952 (Go to 63)
|-
! 59
| '''The United Arab Republic?'''
| The {{w|The United Arab Republic}} was a short-lived political union between {{w|Egypt}} and {{w|Syria}}. The union began in 1958 and existed until 1961 (although Egypt continued to call itself the United Arab Republic for several years after Syria left the union).
|1953–1960
|
* No: 1953–1958
* Yes: 1958–1960
|
* No: 1953–58 (stated in comic as 1954–57 – a discrepancy) ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 1958–60 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 60
| '''How many Vietnams are there?'''
| On April 30, 1975, forces from {{w|North Vietnam}} captured {{w|Saigon}} (now known as {{w|Ho Chi Minh City}}), and reunified the country, in an event known as {{w|Reunification Day}}, which marked the end of the {{w|Vietnam War}}. Maps before this date would have "North Vietnam" and "{{w|South Vietnam}}" on them rather than a single "{{w|Vietnam}}".
|1960–1991
|
* Two: 1960–1975
* One: 1975–1991
|
* Two: 1960–1975 (Go to 61)
* One: 1975–1991 (Go to 64)
|-
! 61
| '''Bangladesh?'''
| {{w|Bangladesh}} (formerly {{w|East Pakistan}}) declared independence from {{w|Pakistan}} in 1972, as they had different languages and cultures, and the Bengalis felt their country was being run from West Pakistan without their input. The {{w|Bangladesh Liberation War|resulting war}} lasted just over 8 months and ended in Indian intervention.
|1960–1975
|
* No: 1960–1972
* Yes: 1972–1975
|
* No: 1960–1972 (Go to 62)
* Yes: 1972–1975 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 62
| '''Is the area south of Lake Victoria...'''
| The area south of {{w|Lake Victoria}} was called {{w|Tanganyika}}, and it declared independence from the United Kingdom to form its own country in 1961 It unified with {{w|Zanzibar}} to create {{w|Tanzania}} in 1964.
|1960–1972
|
* British: 1960–1961
* Tanganyika: 1961–1964
* Tanzania: 1965–1971
|
* British: 1960 ('''Stop''')
* Tanganyika: 1961–1964 ('''Stop''')
* Tanzania: 1965–1972 (stated in comic as 1964–1971 – a discrepancy) ('''Stop''')
|-
! 63
| '''The town on I-25 between Albuquerque and El Paso is... '''
| {{w|Interstate 25 in New Mexico|I-25}} didn't exist for any of the years listed for this item, since the Interstate Highway System wasn't launched until 1956. The highway designation on maps printed during the years listed was {{w|U.S. Route 85#New Mexico|US-85}}, and it was first replaced by I-25 in 1970–1990. The town changed its name from Hot Springs to "{{w|Truth or Consequences, New Mexico|Truth or Consequences}}" in 1950, although locals say that it provides more of the latter than of the former. Initially there was an error as this question was on a path from the British Tanganyika (directly above it) instead of from the "Fine" option of "Canada is.." but this has been fixed.
|1949–1952
|
* Hot Springs: 1916–49
* Truth or Consequences: 1950+
|
* Hot Springs: 1948–49 ('''Stop''')
* Truth or Consequences: 1950–52 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 64
| '''Jimmy Carter is...'''
| On April 20, 1979, {{w|Jimmy Carter}} was "{{w|Jimmy Carter rabbit incident|attacked}}" by a swamp rabbit, a fact referenced in [[204|204: America]]. This fact would not normally be referenced on a map, however, and is simply a joke entry that leads to the next question.
|1975–1991
|
* Being attacked by a giant swimming rabbit: April 20, 1979
* Fine: 1975–1991
|
* Being attacked by a giant swimming rabbit: April 20, 1979 ('''Stop''')
* Fine: 1975–1991 (Go to 65)
|-
! 65
| '''The Sinai is part of what country?'''
| In 1979, {{w|Israel}} signed a peace treaty in which it would gradually retreat from the entire {{w|Sinai Peninsula}}, handing that area to {{w|Egypt}}. This happened over a period of three years, completing in 1982.
|1975–1991
|
* Israel: 1976–1979
* Mostly Israel: 1980
* Mostly Egypt: 1981
* Egypt: 1982–1991
|
* Israel: 1976–1979 (missing 1975?) ('''Stop''')
* Mostly Israel: 1980 ('''Stop''')
* Mostly Egypt: 1981 ('''Stop''')
* Egypt: 1982–1991 (Go to 66)
|-
! 66
| '''What's the capital of Micronesia?'''
| The {{w|Federated States of Micronesia}} are a group of small islands in the Pacific Ocean. Their capital was {{w|Kolonia}} until 1989, when it changed to {{w|Palikir}}, on the same island.
|1982–1991
|
* Kolonia: 1982–1988
* Palikir: 1989–1991
|
* Kolonia: 1982–1988 (Go to 67)
* Palikir: 1989–1991 (Go to 68)
|-
! 67
| '''Republic of the Upper Volta or Burkina Faso?'''
| {{w|Burkina Faso}} was named the {{w|Republic of Upper Volta}} until 1984, when the president Thomas Sankara decided to rename it to promote a sense of unity in the nation and in an anti-colonial statement.
|1982–1988
|
* Upper Volta: 1982–1984
* Burkina Faso: 1985–1988
|
* Upper Volta: 1982–1984 ('''Stop''')
* Burkina Faso: 1985–1988 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 68
| '''(Number of Yemens) + (Number of Germanys) = ?'''
| In 1990, two unification events took place: {{w|Yemeni unification}} on May 22 and {{w|German reunification}} on October 3. Before these events, in early 1990, there would have been four Yemens and Germanys total. In mid-1990, when only the Yemeni unification had taken place, there would be one Yemen and two Germanys, for a total of three. and in late 1990, after both events took place, there would be one of each for a total of two.
|1989–1991
|
* Four: 1989–early 1990
* Three: mid-1990
* Two: late 1990–1991
|
* Four: 1989–early 1990 ('''Stop''')
* Three: mid-1990 ('''Stop''')
* Two: late 1990–1991 ('''Stop''')
|-
! colspan="6" | Post-Soviet branch
|-
! 69
| '''Zaire? or: "Hong Kong (UK)"'''
| Zaire was one of a series of names for what is today called the {{w|Democratic Republic of the Congo}}. In 1996 a (successful) revolt began to oust the reigning government from power. As part of this revolution, the country was renamed. The original name change away from 'Congo' was part of an 'Africanisation' naming campaign, although 'Congo' is in origin an authentic African name for the river that set the boundaries of the nation.

{{w|Hong Kong}} was taken by the British in 1843 at the end of the {{w|First Opium War}}, and an additional area (the {{w|New Territories}}) were leased from China in 1898 on a 99-year lease. When the lease expired in 1997, {{w|Transfer of sovereignty over Hong Kong|the whole of Hong Kong was returned to China}}.
|1991+
|
* Yes: 1992–1996
* No: 1996+
|
* Yes: 1992–1996 ('''Stop''')
* No: 1996+ (Go to 70)
|-
! 70
| '''Serbia and Montenegro are...'''
| The Union of {{w|Serbia and Montenegro}} was a remnant of {{w|Yugoslavia}}. {{w|Montenegro}} voted to become its own country in 2006. '''Note:''' For much of the prior date range, "Serbia and Montenegro" did not appear on maps–the states still went by the name Yugoslavia. {{w|Serbia and Montenegro#State union|Serbia and Montenegro only came into existence in 2003}}.
|1996+
|
* One country: 1996–2006
* Two countries: 2007+
|
* One country: 1996–2006 (Go to 71)
* Two countries: 2007+ (Go to 72)
|-
! 71
| '''East Timor?'''
| {{w|East Timor}} (also known as Timor-Leste) is a nation north of Australia and south east of {{w|Indonesia}}. During the Dutch colonization of Indonesia, East Timor remained in Portuguese hands. While {{w|Indonesian occupation of East Timor|occupied and annexed by Indonesia}} in 1976, East Timor retained its own culture and voted for independence, then had a nasty militia action that required UN peacekeeping action, and finally become independent in 2002.
|1996–2006
|
* No: 1997–2001
* Yes: 2002–2006
|
* No: 1997–2001 ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 2002–2006 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 72
| '''How many Sudans are there?'''
| In 2011, after a long history of violence between the two portions of the country (which can be characterized as Islam vs. Christianity and traditional religions), {{w|South Sudan}} became independent from {{w|Sudan}}.
|2006+
|
* One: 2007–2011
* Two: 2011+
|
* One: 2007–2011 ('''Stop''')
* Two: 2011+ (Go to 73)
|-
! 73
| '''Is Crimea disputed?'''
| In 2014, a {{w|Euromaidan|revolution}} ousted the current Ukrainian president. {{w|Crimea}} had its own civil unrest, and Russian troops exploited the unrest to launch {{w|Annexation of Crimea by the Russian Federation|an invasion}}. A {{w|2014_Crimean_status_referendum|referendum}} was held on March 16 2014 and ostensibly decided in favor of Russian annexation. Many nations, including the EU's member states, the USA and Canada, disputed the democratic legitimacy of the referendum. As a result, depending on where you get your maps, Crimea may be marked as disputed or as part of one or the other countries. [http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2014/04/12/302337754/google-maps-displays-crimean-border-differently-in-russia-u-s Google Maps Ukraine shows it as solely Ukrainian while Google Maps Russia shows it as Russian].
|2011+
|
* Yes: 2014+
* No: 2012–2013
|
* Yes: 2014+ (Go to 74)
* No: 2012–2013 ('''Stop''')
|-
! 74
| '''"Colorado" or "Danger—Radioactive Exclusion Zone—Avoid"?'''
| This entry and the one below it are now referring to hypothetical future events: specifically, a huge radioactivity event in {{w|Colorado}} that takes place some time in 2022. Colorado houses several important USA defense installations which, in popular culture, become targets for nuclear strikes in the event of an all out war between the USA and Russia (for example over the {{w|political status of Crimea}}). Installations include {{w|Peterson Air Force Base}} and the heavily fortified {{w|Cheyenne Mountain Complex}} housing {{w|NORAD}} command functions. Colorado also has a previous history of radioactive contamination–it was home to uranium mines, nuclear tests (including {{w|Project Rulison}}, an attempt to use nuclear bombs to drill for natural gas that ended up making the gas radioactive) and the controversial {{w|Rocky Flats Plant}}, a nuclear weapons manufacturing facility that suffered {{w|Radioactive contamination from the Rocky Flats Plant|several fires and leaks}} and was ultimately raided and shut down by the FBI. None of these has yet caused spiders to mutate.{{Citation needed}}
|2014+
|
* Colorado: 2014–2021
* Danger: 2022+
|
* Colorado: 2014–2021 ('''Stop''')
* Danger: 2022+ (Go to 75)
|-
! 75
| '''Does the warning mention the spiders?'''
| Presumably some time in 2023, the radioactive exclusion zone also becomes infested with mutant spiders.
|2022+
|
* No: 2022
* Yes: 2023 or later
|
* No: 2022 ('''Stop''')
* Yes: 2023 or later ('''Stop''')
|}

==Transcript==
:[A very complicated flow chart, which can only be read in detail using the larger image now shown at the top of this page. This transcript uses the large version, which is more legible.]

:[At the top of the chart there is a large caption, with a smaller caption below:]
:<big>Guide to figuring out the age of an undated world map</big>
:(Assuming it's complete, labeled in English, and detailed enough)

:[Below the starting bracket in the small caption is a start box. It has rounded corners and it is gray with white text. From this box there is a gray line to a box consisting of a black frame with rounded corners. In these kind of boxes there are questions regarding the map in black text. Below this box there are three gray boxes like the start box, superimposed over the bottom frame. In these boxes are the possible answers to the question in the frame above. From each of these options there is a gray line going to similar black framed boxes with other questions either below, or to either side. There can either be two, three or four gray boxes, two the most common. Only at the very bottom of the central branch where it turns out it was a home made map, are there two frames with only one gray question box each. This trend continues over this entire large image. When reaching the end of a branch in the flow chart, there is no line away from one, more or all of the gray boxes for a black frame. When this happens a year range or a guess at what the map shows, or what it is (if it turns out to not be a map) is written below the gray box in gray text. Of the text in the gray boxes are Yes/No, but not always. There are 74 boxes with black frames with 158 gray boxes and 78 endpoints with text below the gray box and one end point without text below (the one with the home made map).]

:Start
::Istanbul or Constantinople?
:::Constantinople
::::Do any of these exist? 
::::*Independent Canada
::::*US Territory of Alaska
::::*Tokyo
:::::No
::::::The Holy Roman Empire?
:::::::Yes
::::::::1805 or earlier (before this point, the modern idea of a complete political map of the world gets hard to apply.)
:::::::No
::::::::The United States?
:::::::::No
::::::::::How sure are you that this map is in English?
:::::::::Yes
::::::::::Texas is...
:::::::::::Part of Mexico
::::::::::::Florida is part of...
:::::::::::::Spain
::::::::::::::Paraguay?
:::::::::::::::No 1806–10
:::::::::::::::Yes 1811–17
:::::::::::::The US
::::::::::::::Venezuela and/or Ecuador?
:::::::::::::::No 1818–29
:::::::::::::::Yes 1830–33
:::::::::::Independent 1834–45
:::::::::::Part of the US
::::::::::::Does Russia border the Sea of Japan?
:::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::The US's southern border looks...
:::::::::::::::Weird 1846–53
:::::::::::::::Normal 1854–56
:::::::::::::Yes 1858–67
:::::Yes
::::::South Africa?
:::::::No
::::::::Rhodesia?
:::::::::No
::::::::::Is Bolivia landlocked?
:::::::::::No
::::::::::::"Buda" and "Pest" or "Budapest"?
:::::::::::::Buda and Pest 1868–72
:::::::::::::Budapest 1873–83
:::::::::::Yes 1884–95
:::::::::Yes
::::::::::Is Norway part of Sweden?
:::::::::::Yes 1896–1905
:::::::::::No 1906–09
:::::::Yes
::::::::Austria-Hungary?
:::::::::Yes
::::::::::Albania?
:::::::::::No 1910–12
:::::::::::Yes 1913–18
:::::::::No
::::::::::Leningrad?
:::::::::::No 1919–23
:::::::::::Yes 1924–29
:::Neither
::::Does the Ottoman Empire exist?
:::::Yes [[#canada-alaska-tokyo]]
:::::No
::::::The Soviet Union?
:::::::Yes
::::::::Saudi Arabia?
:::::::::Yes
::::::::::Is most of West Africa a giant french blob?
:::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::Pakistan?
:::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::How many Germanys are there?
:::::::::::::::One
::::::::::::::::Persia or Iran?
:::::::::::::::::Persia 1930–34
:::::::::::::::::Iran 1935–40
:::::::::::::::One, but it's ''huge'' 1941–45
:::::::::::::::Two 1946–47
:::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::Cambodia?
:::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::Eritrea is part of...
:::::::::::::::::Italy
::::::::::::::::::Canada is...
:::::::::::::::::::Missing a piece 1948
:::::::::::::::::::Fine
::::::::::::::::::::The town on I-25 between Albuquerque and El Paso is...
:::::::::::::::::::::Hot Springs 1948-49
:::::::::::::::::::::Truth or Consequences 1950–52
:::::::::::::::::Ethiopia 1952–53
:::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::The United Arab Republic?
:::::::::::::::::No 1954–57
:::::::::::::::::Yes 1958–60
:::::::::::No
::::::::::::How many Vietnams are there?
:::::::::::::Two
::::::::::::::Bangladesh?
:::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::Is the area south of Lake Victoria...
:::::::::::::::::British 1960
:::::::::::::::::Tanganyika 1961–64
:::::::::::::::::Tanzania 1965–71
:::::::::::::::Yes 1972–75
:::::::::::::One
::::::::::::::Jimmy Carter is...
:::::::::::::::Being attacked by a giant swimming rabbit April 20, 1979
:::::::::::::::Fine
::::::::::::::::The Sinai is part of what country?
:::::::::::::::::Israel 1976–79
:::::::::::::::::Mostly Israel 1980
:::::::::::::::::Mostly Egypt 1981
:::::::::::::::::Egypt
::::::::::::::::::What's the capital of Micronesia?
:::::::::::::::::::Kolonia
::::::::::::::::::::Republic of the Upper Volta or Burkina Faso?
:::::::::::::::::::::Upper Volta 1982–84
:::::::::::::::::::::Burkina Faso 1985–88
:::::::::::::::::::Palikir
::::::::::::::::::::(number of Yemens) + (number of Germanys) = ?
:::::::::::::::::::::Four 1989-early 1990
:::::::::::::::::::::Three mid-1990
:::::::::::::::::::::Two late 1990–1991
:::::::::No 1922–1932
:::::::No
::::::::North Korea?
:::::::::Yes
::::::::::Zaire? or: "Hong Kong (UK)"
:::::::::::Yes 1992–96
:::::::::::No
::::::::::::Serbia/Montenegro are...
:::::::::::::One country
::::::::::::::East Timor?
:::::::::::::::No 1997–2001
:::::::::::::::Yes 2002–06
:::::::::::::Two countries
::::::::::::::How many Sudans are there?
:::::::::::::::One 2007–11
:::::::::::::::Two
::::::::::::::::Is Crimea disputed?
:::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::"Colorado" or "Danger—Radioactive Exclusion Zone—Avoid"?
:::::::::::::::::::Colorado 2014–21
:::::::::::::::::::Danger
::::::::::::::::::::Does the warning mention the spiders?
:::::::::::::::::::::No 2022
:::::::::::::::::::::Yes 2023 or later
:::::::::::::::::No 2012–13
:::::::::No
::::::::::Saint Trimble's Island
:::::::::::No
::::::::::::Is Jan Mayen part of the Kingdom of Norway?
:::::::::::::Not yet
::::::::::::::[[#canada-alaska-tokyo]]
:::::::::::::What?
::::::::::::::Can you see the familiar continents?
:::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::This sounds like a physical map or satellite photo.
:::::::::::::::::Yes, that's it
::::::::::::::::::Is Lake Chad missing?
:::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::How far east do the American Prairies reach?
:::::::::::::::::::::Indiana before 1830
:::::::::::::::::::::The Mississippi 1830s-80s
:::::::::::::::::::::Nebraska
::::::::::::::::::::::Is there a big lake in the middle of Southern California? (created by mistake)
:::::::::::::::::::::::No 1860s-1900s
:::::::::::::::::::::::Yes 1910s
:::::::::::::::::::::What prairies?
::::::::::::::::::::::Is there a big lake in the middle of Ghana? (created on purpose)
:::::::::::::::::::::::No 1920s-50s
:::::::::::::::::::::::Yes 1960s-70s
:::::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::::Is the Aral Sea missing?
:::::::::::::::::::::No 1970s-90s
:::::::::::::::::::::Yes 2000s+
:::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::Rivers "Sirion" or "Anduin"?
:::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::Mordor?
:::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::Beleriand?
:::::::::::::::::::::Yes First Age
:::::::::::::::::::::No Early Second Age
:::::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::::Númenor?
:::::::::::::::::::::Yes Late Second Age
:::::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::::The forest east of the Misty Mountains is...
:::::::::::::::::::::::Greenwood Early Third Age
:::::::::::::::::::::::Mirkwood Late Third Age
:::::::::::::::::::::::The Wood of Greenleaves Fourth Age
:::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::Cair Paravel?
:::::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::::Calormen?
:::::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::::Lotta Islands?
:::::::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::::::Beruna
:::::::::::::::::::::::::Ford The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
:::::::::::::::::::::::::Bridge Prince Caspian
:::::::::::::::::::::::Yes Dawn Treader
:::::::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::::::Weird recursive heaven?
:::::::::::::::::::::::No One of the random later books
:::::::::::::::::::::::Yes The Last Battle
:::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::Mossflower?
:::::::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::::::Redwall
:::::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::::Is the world on the back of a turtle?
:::::::::::::::::::::::Yes Discworld
:::::::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::::::Are you ''sure'' this is a map?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::::::::::Did you make it yourself?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::It's very nice.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Thank you!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::::::::Is it trying to bite you?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::No
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Is it larger than a breadbox?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Yes tuba
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::No stapler
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::About the same breadbox
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::If you let it go, what does it do?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Hisses and runs away cat
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Screeches and flaps around the room breaking things seagull
:::::::::::::Yes
::::::::::::::[[#pakistan]]
:::::::::::Yes No, I made that one up.
:::Istanbul
::::Does the Soviet Union exist?
:::::Yes
::::::[[#west-africa-french-blob]]
:::::No
::::::[[#zaire]]

==Trivia==
There are some errors and several discrepancies in the comic regarding how year ranges are given although it appears Randall has been fixing these errors. I-25 was built in 1970–1990 through New Mexico; see the [[#Table|table]] above for more info.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:Geography]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Spiders]]
[[Category:Chronicles of Narnia]]
[[Category:Redwall]]

1572: xkcd Survey

2025-03-22T07:49:19Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 1572
| date = September 2, 2015
| title = xkcd Survey
| image = xkcd_survey.png
| titletext = The xkcd Survey: Big Data for a Big Planet
}}
The comic is a link to [http://goo.gl/forms/B5RaBeZ6nw The xkcd survey] on Google, which is now closed.

==Explanation==
As the comic image states, it links to a survey created with [https://www.google.com/forms/about/ Google Forms], containing a series of questions. The questions range from mundane typical survey questions such as “Do you have any food allergies?”, to rather strange, such as “Fill this text box with random letters by randomly mashing keys on your leopard.” (See [[1530: Keyboard Mash]] and [[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]]).

The stated goal of the survey is to “create an interesting and unusual data set for people to play with”. A strange data set is a ripe opportunity for a sampling of readers. It's also supposed to be “a search for weird correlations” – presumably the goal is to be able to say things like “people who have been skydiving are (more/less) likely than average to dislike cilantro”. (See also [[882: Significant]] about finding presumably spurious correlations between unrelated data.)

{{w|Image_map#Client-side_image_map|HTML image maps}} is a technique for marking up areas of an image on a web page, such that each area can be a link without the whole image being a link. [[Randall]] could have used this type of image map to make only the “Click here to take the survey” button be a link, and none of the rest of the image. But he cannot get the hang of it (or knowing his skills, does not wish to take the time to learn it). Not getting the hang of HTML image maps was also referenced on the banner for his [[Header text#2014-07-23_-_what_if.3F_book_tour|book tour]] for the first ''[[What If? (book)|What If?]]'' book. See the link for other instances where he mentions this problem in the [[Header text|header text]].

The title text is a joke off of {{w|Big Data}}, which is a name for analysis of a set of data that includes a huge amount of information. He also says "for a big planet" because the Earth is big.{{Citation needed}}

The survey is now closed, and the questions were replaced by the text:
:The xkcd survey is now closed. Thank you for all your answers! Response data is being collected and will be posted soon.

To this day, the data has never been released, and there is no indication of when the data is intended to be made public.[https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/40mhve/what_ever_happened_to_the_survey_we_took/ According to a Reddit user], Randall crashed Google Forms, so the data took much longer to be retrieved. This is similar to his breaking of [http://what-if.xkcd.com/imgs/a/62/balloon_wolfram.png Wolfram Alpha] while answering a reader's question on his ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' blog.

==The survey==
{{TOC}}A recreation of the survey can be found [https://goo.gl/forms/CtAILwjyJAYsmqbO2 here on Google]. The recreation's raw data can be [https://goo.gl/5A77ZX found in this spreadsheet]. Note that the order of the possible answers (the list of possibilities) was random and thus changed every time the page was reloaded. The survey started with the following statement:

:<nowiki>This is an anonymous survey. After it's done, a database of everyone's responses will be posted.
There's no specific reason for any of the questions. The goal is to create an interesting and unusual data set for people to play with. This is obviously not going to be a real random sample of people, but in the interest of getting cooler data, if you're sharing this with friends, try sending it to some people who wouldn't normally see this kind of thing!</nowiki>

:WARNING<nowiki>: This survey is anonymous, but your answers WILL BE MADE PUBLIC. Depending what you write, it's possible that someone may be able to identify you by looking at your responses. None of these questions should ask about anything too private, but don't write anything that you don't want people to see. If you're not comfortable answering a question, just skip it.</nowiki>

===Plane===
Have you ever been in a plane?
*No
*Yes

===Skydiving===
Have you ever been {{w|Parachuting|skydiving}}?
*No, but I might someday
*Yes
*No

===The Dress===
When you first saw {{w|The dress (viral phenomenon)|The Dress}}, what color was it? — (Also see [[1492: Dress Color]] and the [[Blag]] entry [http://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ Color Survey Results]).
*White and gold
*A color combination not listed here
*I don't remember
*Blue and black
*What dress?

===Popular food===
What's a really popular food that you don't like?
*''Text box''

===Floaters===
When you look at a blue sky, do you see those swirly {{w|floater|floaters}} in your vision?
*Yes, constantly
*I'm not sure what things you mean
*Yes, occasionally
*No

===Running out of gas===
Have you ever had a car run out of gas while you were driving it?
*Yes
*No

===Animals===
Name the first five animals you can think of
*''Multi line text box''

===Weather===
What's the weather like where you are right now?
*''Text box''

===Activities===
Which of these can you do reasonably well?
(Check all that apply)
*{{w|slam dunk|Dunk}} a basketball — A "slam dunk" or simply "dunk" is the act of jumping up and putting the ball through the net with a lot of force
*Tie a {{w|sheet bend}} or {{w|bowline}} — A sheet bend is a knot that joins two ropes together; A bowline is a knot used to form a fixed loop at the end of a rope. Although tied differently, the resulting knots are identical.{{Citation needed}}
*Roller skate
*[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/high-heel-race/ Run in high heels]
*Drive a stick shift — See {{w|Manual transmission}} of a car
*Solve a {{w|Rubik's cube}}
*Dive headfirst off a diving board — See {{w|Springboard}} and {{w|Diving platform}}
*Ice skate
*{{w|Skateboarding|Skateboard}}
*Walk on {{w|stilts}} — Stilts are poles, posts or pillars used to allow a person to walk at a height above the ground
*Ski
*Cut vegetables with a knife
*Swim
*Ride a horse
*{{w|Unicycle}}
*Change the oil on a car
*Do a back {{w|Handspring (gymnastics)|handspring}} — A handspring is an exercise in gymnastics in which you jump through the air landing on your hands, then again landing on your feet
*Juggle — {{w|Toss juggling}} (the most recognizable form of juggling) consists in throwing objects into the air and catching them.

===Spelling===
What word can you never seem to spell on the first try?
*''Text box''

===Condiments===
Do you eat {{w|condiments}} directly out of the fridge as a snack?
*No
*Yes

===Thermostat===
When you adjust a thermostat that was set by someone else, it's usually because you want the room to be...
*Cooler
*Warmer

===Clothing===
What color is the shirt/dress/upper-body-clothing you're wearing right now, if any?
*''Text box''

===Colds===
Do you get {{w|Common cold|colds}} often?
*No
*Yes

===Number===
Pick a number from 1 to 100
*''Text box''

===Spelling===
On a scale of 1 to 10, how good at spelling are you? (Note that the question does not specify which end of the scale is good or bad.)
*''Tick off list with numbers from 1 to 10.''

===Myers-Briggs===
Do you know your {{w|Myers–Briggs_Type_Indicator|Myers-Briggs type}}?
*No
*Yes

===Astrology===
Do you know your {{w|astrological sign}}?
*No
*Yes

===Siblings===
How many older siblings do you have?
*''Text box''
How many younger siblings do you have?
*''Text box''
How many twin/etc siblings do you have?
*''Text box''

===Sleepiness===
Do you feel sleepy a lot?
*Yes
*No

===Movie star===
Name a movie star
*''Text box''

===Time in sun===
Do you spend a lot of time in the sun?
*Yes
*No

===Broccoli===
Does {{w|broccoli}} taste bitter to you?
*Yes
*No
*I've never had it

===Wakefulness===
Do you regularly stay awake much later than you meant to?
*Yes
*No

===Keyboard mashing===
Fill this text box with gibberish by mashing random keyboard keys (See [[1530: Keyboard Mash]] and [[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]]).
*''Broad multi-line text box''

===Driving===
On a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is terrible and 3 is average, how good a driver do you think you are? (note it does not include the possibility that you don't drive)
*''Tick off list with numbers from 1 to 5.''

===Allergies===
Do you have any food allergies?
*No
*Yes

===Thunder===
Have you heard thunder or seen lightning in the past year? — (The title-text of [[831: Weather Radar]] mentions the belief that thunderstorms seemed more common when one was a kid. Since the survey also asks for age this question is likely a test of that belief.)
*Yes
*No

===Flavor preference===
Which do you prefer? (It seems to be missing the ''neither'' option...)
*Chocolate
*Vanilla

===Number (reprise)===
Pick another number from 1 to 100 (Supposedly should not be the same as in the first pick a number box).
*''Text box''

===Internet===
When you think about stuff on the internet, where do you picture it being physically located? Even if you know it's not really how things work, is there a place you imagine websites and social media posts sitting before you look at them? If so, where is it?
*''Broad multi-line text box''

===Roll tongue===
Can you {{w|Tongue rolling|roll your tongue}}?
*Yes
*No
*What?

===Toes===
Can you pick things up with your toes?
*No
*Yes

===Age===
How old are you?
*''Text box''

===Walls===
What color are the walls around you right now?
*''Text box''

===Cell phone===
What kind of cell phone do you have?
*{{w|iPhone}}
*{{w|Android (operating system)|Android}}
*Other smartphone
*Non-smartphone
*I don't have a cell phone

===Eating===
What's the last thing you ate?
*''Text box''

===Difficult words===
Which of these words do you know the meaning of?
Some of these words don’t appear in any of the following dictionaries: the Oxford English Dictionary, the New Oxford American Dictionary, Wiktionary, or Dictionary.com. With one exception, however, reviewers on this site have found verifiable examples of use for the words in question.
[http://dictionary.reference.com/ Dictionary.com] has an index of difficulty (measured in pixels, with class name <code>difficulty-indicator</code>). We add it at the right of the words that have it. N/A means that a word isn't present in Dictionary.com, or that it doesn't have an index.
*Slickle – Not in any standard dictionary. However, it [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Slickle is in] the crowd-sourced in Urban Dictionary, as well as a suggested planet name in [[1253: Exoplanet Names]]
*{{Wiktionary|rife|Rife}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rife 117]
*{{Wiktionary|soliloquy|Soliloquy}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/soliloquy 150]
*Fination – not in any dictionary. Appears infrequently in Victorian texts (e.g., [http://books.google.com/books?id=ghNOAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA245&dq=Fination 1889], [http://books.google.com/books?id=nwlCAQAAMAAJ&pg=PA214&dq=Fination 1839])
*{{Wiktionary|stipple|Stipple}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stipple 144]
*{{Wiktionary|peristeronic|Peristeronic}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/peristeronic N/A]. Randall used it and defined it for readers in [[798: Adjectives]].
*{{Wiktionary|modicum|Modicum}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/modicum 120]
*Trephony – Not available in reference dictionaries. An obsolete spelling of "{{w|Trephine}}" (especially when used as a verb for the process of {{w|Trepanning|trephination}}). Initially a transliteration of Greek [http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus:text:1999.04.0057:entry=tru/panon τρυπάω] for the same.
*Tribution – A regular construction from {{Wiktionary|tribute#Verb|Tribute (verb)}} using "{{Wiktionary|-tion}}" to transform into a noun. Using this regular formation, the term would mean the act of tribute, but no examples of actual use are available. It is worth noting that the use of "tribute" as a verb is generally considered obsolete and the few forms that persist in use relate primarily to the tributary and distributary river systems
*{{Wiktionary|phoropter|Phoropter}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/phoropter N/A] 1.An instrument used in eye examinations to determine an individual's prescription, the patient looking through various lenses at a chart on the other side.
*Unitory – Not available in reference dictionaries. An obsolete spelling of "Unitary," chiefly British. While long obsolete in normal usage, it persisted longer in mathematics that it did elsewhere (particularly for "Unitory Method" and "Unitory Matrices"). Example of use: [https://books.google.com/books?id=Wl1BAQAAMAAJ&pg=RA5-PA27&lpg=RA5-PA27&dq=unitory+method&source=bl&ots=rfRKJXAJqV&sig=Wsr_gV7xG6Airah9Lx1M0hi-7Zc&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CDsQ6AEwBmoVChMInd_R9qTbxwIVChU-Ch36IAh_#v=onepage&q=unitory%20method&f=false (1)]
*{{Wiktionary|amiable|Amiable}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/amiable 123]
*{{Wiktionary|salient|Salient}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/salient 69]
*{{Wiktionary|regolith|Regolith}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/regolith 162]
*{{Wiktionary|lithe|Lithe}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lithe 105]
*Revergent – technical word from {{w|fern}} biology, referring to the edges of fern leaves which curl back on themselves (see [http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF00985044 Schölch, 2000])
*{{Wiktionary|hubris|Hubris}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hubris 117]
*{{Wiktionary|fleek|Fleek}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fleek N/A]
*Cadine – A rare loan-word for {{Wiktionary|fr:cadine|a sultan's wife or a noble ottoman woman}} which comes to English through the French. Examples of Use: [https://books.google.com/books?id=4yz-Y-_OOO0C&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q=cadine&f=false (1)]. Also the name of an {{w|it:Cadine|italian city}}.
*{{Wiktionary|apricity|Apricity}} – Not available in reference dictionaries. An obsolete word for the sun's heat in winter (e.g., [http://books.google.com/books?id=CFBGAAAAYAAJ&pg=PT76&dq=apricity Bailey 1775]). According to the What If? book (page 80), this is Randall's single favourite word in the English language.

===cat===
Please type "cat" here: (Likely to see how they write the word)
*''Text box''

===Dreams===
Do you usually remember your dreams?
*No
*Yes

===Text editors===
Do you have strong opinions about text editors? (See {{w|Editor war}})
*Yes
*No

===Emoji===
How do you feel about {{w|emoji}}?
*Negative 😠 (Unicode 1f620 - Angry face)
*Positive 😊 (Unicode 263a - Smiling face)
*Neutral 😐 (Unicode 1F610 - Neutral face)

===Snow===
Does it ever snow where you live?
*No
*Yes

===Taste of food===
Do you strongly dislike the taste or texture of any of these things?
*Eggs
*Chocolate ice cream
*Beer
*White wine
*{{w|Carbonation}} (or Fizz)
*Red wine
*{{w|Cilantro}}
*Coffee
*Tomatoes
*Yogurt

===Beverages===
Which of these do you regularly drink?
*Caffeinated soda (e.g. Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper)
*Noncaffeinated soda
*Coffee
*Fruit juice
*Milk
*Beer
*Wine
*Tea
*{{w|Maple syrup}}
*Water

===Random words===
Type five random words
*''Broad multi-line text box''

===Flying===
Are you nervous about flying?
*Yes
*No
*A little

===Favorite number===
On a scale of 1 to 5, which number is your favorite?
*''Tick off list with numbers from 1 to 5.''

===Sandwich===
Which of these would you consider a {{w|sandwich}}? ''(Check all that apply)''
*{{w|Taco}}
*{{w|Quesadilla}}
*{{w|Submarine sandwich|Sub/Hoagie}}
*{{w|Cheesesteak}}
*{{w|Hamburger}}
*{{w|Open-faced sandwich}}
*{{w|Calzone}}

===Animal affinity===
Which of these describes you?
(Check all that apply)
*Dog person
*Cat person
*Half-cat half-person
*Part of a subterranean race of dog people
*Literally named "Catherine Person"

===Sense of direction===
Would you say you have a good sense of direction?
*Yes
*No

===Socks or underwear===
Have you ever thrown out all your different pairs of socks/underwear, bought a bunch of replacements that were all one kind, and then told all your friends how great it was and how they should do it too?
*Yes
*No
*I did the throwing out thing, but didn't talk to everyone about it
*No, but I'm totally doing that now

==Transcript==
:[A simple comic with text only. The ''click here'' part is inside a black frame.]
:Introducing
:'''The xkcd Survey'''
:A search for weird correlations
:Note: This survey is anonymous, but
: all responses will be posted publicly 
:so people can play with the data.
:'''Click here to'''
:'''take the survey'''
:Or click here, or here.
:The whole comic is a link,
:because I still haven't gotten
:the hang of HTML imagemaps.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]

397: Unscientific

2025-03-22T07:41:39Z

Caralice: fix formatting again

{{comic
| number = 397
| date = March 17, 2008
| title = Unscientific
| image = unscientific.png
| titletext = Last week, we busted the myth that electroweak gauge symmetry is broken by the Higgs mechanism. We'll also examine the existence of God and whether true love exists.
}}

==Explanation==
In the first and second frames, [[Megan]] can be seen accusing ''{{w|MythBusters}}'' of not actually "doing science" because of its lack of {{w|Rigour|rigor}} - a debate beyond the scope of this Wiki. The {{w|zombie}} of deceased physicist, {{w|Richard Feynman}}, comes to explain to [[Megan]] that she has failed to recognize the purpose of ''MythBusters''. He explains that ''MythBusters''<nowiki>'</nowiki> value is getting people to accept and understand the importance of experimentation in the scientific method, and that more complex lessons (such as on rigor) would be wasted on people who don't understand those basics.

In the last frame, [[Cueball]] attempts to save himself and [[Megan]] from zombie Feynman by implying that physicists, being extremely intelligent, would have more desirable brains. Also, in a science lab, the number of brains available would be higher than just two. Feynman's closing remark implies that {{w|String theory|string theorists}} have no brains; the joke being that string theorists are presumably less intelligent than Cueball and Megan, who were merely watching television prior to being attacked, and probably also a pun on {{w|brane}}s. For another instance of [[Randall]] knocking string theorists, see [[171: String Theory]]. This notion fits appropriately with Feynman's description of the core of science. Moreover, Feynman's own career involved applying physics to real world applications (such as for the Manhattan Project), whereas the work of string theorists is theoretical and untested.

The title text starts by rebounding against the complaint of validity as science by purportedly tackling a ''really'' big scientific inquiry. Then he veers away into two far more esoteric proposed fields of study, of which at least one is not even determinable by the scientific method, probably both.

The ''Mythbusters'' episode being watched is likely {{w|MythBusters_(2008_season)#Episode_109_–_"Ninjas_2"|Episode 109 – "Ninjas 2"}}, which was the second episode in which the Mythbusters attempted to catch an arrow mid-flight. The voice from the television is likely that of {{w|List_of_MythBusters_cast_members#Robert_Lee|Robert Lee}}, who provided the narration for ''Mythbusters''. It should also be noted that the ninja mentioned in this is the inaccurate pop culture iteration not the historical Shinobi no Mono. for more accurate info on the Shinobi [https://www.google.com/search?q=antony+cummins search "Antony Cummins"].

Zombies are a [[:Category:Zombies|recurring theme]] in xkcd, particularly zombie scientists, which has also occurred twice after this comic with {{w|Paul Erdős}} in [[599: Apocalypse]] and {{w|Marie Curie}} in [[896: Marie Curie]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are sitting on a coach, watching Mythbusters.]
:TV: Can a ninja catch an arrow? On this episode, we'll find out!
:Cueball: Mmm, science.
:Megan: Hey, Mythbusters is entertaining, but it's not science.

:Zombie Feynman: ''BRAAAAAIIINNS''...
:Cueball: Zombie Feynman!
:Zombie Feynman: You got a problem with Mythbusters?
:Megan: They fail at basic rigor!

:Zombie Feynman: "Ideas are tested by experiment." That is the core of science. Everything else is bookkeeping.

:Zombie Feynman: By teaching people to hold their beliefs up to experiment, ''Mythbusters'' is doing more to drag humanity out of the unscientific darkness than a thousand lessons in rigor. Show them some love.

:Zombie Feynman: Anyway, back to zombie stuff. I hunger for ''BRAAAAAIIINNS!''
:Cueball: Uh, try the physics lab next door.
:Zombie Feynman: I said brains. All they've got are string theorists.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Zombies]]

1128: Fifty Shades

2025-03-22T07:39:53Z

Caralice: fix formatting again

{{comic
| number = 1128
| date = 31 October 2012
| title = Fifty Shades
| image = fifty shades.png
| titletext = Wishbone and the Illustrated Classics series have gotten me through every conversation I've ever had about Dickens, Treasure Island, The Anarchist's Cookbook, and Our Bodies, Ourselves.
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Fifty Shades of Grey}}'' is a best-selling novel featuring large quantities of {{w|BDSM}} sex. ''{{w|Wishbone (TV series)|Wishbone}}'' was a children's TV show about a dog who draws parallels between literature and real life in his dreams, reenacting many literary classics. The show was especially praised in its time for refusing to censor the more unpleasant aspects of its source work. Many people within [[Randall]]'s age group have experienced more literary classics through ''Wishbone'' than by actually reading them; this phenomenon lead to the formation of a Facebook group (now replaced by a [https://www.facebook.com/No-I-havent-Read-that-Great-Literary-Classic-but-Ive-seen-the-Wishbone-162079210527833/ page]) with over 70,000 members dedicated to that idea.

In the comic, [[Cueball]] claims to have learned all that he knows about ''Fifty Shades of Grey'' from the ''Wishbone'' adaptation of the book. Knowing the faithful nature of ''Wishbone''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s adaptations, an episode on the book would likely involve age-inappropriate material for children, as the sounds emanating from the TV would suggest.

In the title text:
*{{w|Great Illustrated Classics}} is a series of easy to read adaptations of literary classics, including works by {{w|Charles Dickens}} and Stevenson's ''{{w|Treasure Island}}''.
*''{{w|The Anarchist Cookbook}}'', first published in 1971, is a book that contains instructions for the manufacture of explosives, rudimentary telecommunications phreaking devices, and other items. It was written by William Powell to protest United States involvement in the Vietnam War.
*''{{w|Our Bodies, Ourselves}}'' is a book about women's health and sexuality produced by the nonprofit organization Our Bodies Ourselves (originally called the Boston Women's Health Book Collective). First published in 1971, it contains information related to many aspects of women's health and sexuality, including menopause, birth control, childbirth, sexual health, sexual orientation, gender identity, mental health and general well-being.

Part of the title text joke is that the latter two works would not likely be the subject of Great Illustrated Classics or ''Wishbone''. However, the title text may be actually technically 100% correct, if Randall hasn't ever had an in-depth conversation about either of the latter two works.

The book was later made into a film which was referenced in [[1585: Similarities]] almost three years later.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting on the floor watching his TV standing on a small table. He is leaning back on one arm resting the other arms hand on his knee. Light is coming out from the TV screen, as shown with nine small lines. A high sound is shown above the TV in a starburst and the sound of a dog barking is coming out from the screen with a line indicating this. Above the drawings there are two paragraphs of text:]
:As with most famous books, I've never actually '''read''' ''Fifty Shades of Grey.''
:I only know the plot from watching the ''Wishbone'' version.
:Dog in movie: Bark!
:Dog in movie: Bark!
:Sound: ''Smack!''
:Dog in movie: Bark!:

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

1429: Data

2025-03-22T07:38:49Z

Caralice: fix formatting again

{{comic
| number = 1429
| date = October 3, 2014
| title = Data
| image = data.png
| titletext = If you want to have more fun at the expense of language pedants, try developing an hypercorrection habit.
}}

==Explanation==
"Kirk vs. Picard" is a debate that many ''{{w|Star Trek}}'' fans engage in — specifically which was a better captain of the {{w|Starship Enterprise|starship ''Enterprise''}} on the TV show. Captain {{w|James T. Kirk}} and {{w|Jean-Luc Picard}} each were captains of the ship in different periods (Kirk was captain of USS ''Enterprise'' (NCC-1701) in {{w|Star Trek: The Original Series|The Original Series}}, while Picard was captain of USS ''Enterprise''-D (NCC-1701-D) in ''{{w|Star Trek: The Next Generation|The Next Generation}}''), but fans argue over who was the "best". Most third-place candidates are pretty distant, resulting in a more multi-faceted debate. [[Cueball]] seems to be looking at results of polling for this ''third'' most popular character.

The humor in this comic stems from the fact that the Latin word ''data'' is a plural form of the word ''datum'' ‘a piece of information’, and that originally English followed Latin's lead and treated ''data'' as plural. However, in more recent English, usage of ''datum'' has faded to the extent that [http://statistics.about.com/od/Glossary/a/What-Is-The-Plural-Of-Data.htm ''data'' is treated as a collective noun]. This usage is becoming increasingly (but not universally) accepted as grammatically correct — the ''Wall Street Journal'', for instance, recently announced that it is moving away from saying "data are," while the ''New York Times''<nowiki>'</nowiki> manual of style allows for both variants depending on usage scenario; ''USA Today'', however, is consistently using ''data'' as a plural ("data are"). Naturally, the purists insist on the form that is correct from the Latin grammar point of view and see "data is" as an example of a subject-verb agreement error. This type of "error" is present in the beginning of the sentence that Cueball is citing ("According to this polling data," while certain traditionalists would hold that the grammatically correct variant would be "According to these polling data").

The second error in the same sentence is due to the fact that {{w|Data (Star Trek)|Data}} is a character from ''Star Trek: The Next Generation.'' Since it is a character's name, when used to refer to the character, "Data" should always be treated as singular.

By reversing the verb agreement in both cases, Cueball is going out of his way to annoy grammatically obsessed people.

The title text suggests the mocking of language pedants/amateur {{w|Grammar Nazi|grammar Nazis}} by {{w|Hypercorrection|hypercorrecting}} one's use of language. The sentence itself is an example of this:
*The general rule is that words starting with a consonant should be preceded by ''a,'' while words starting with a vowel should be preceded by ''an.'' However,
*The letter ''h'' is a special case, since in words like ''honor'' (/ˈɒnəɹ/) and ''hour'' (/ˈaʊəɹ/) the ''h'' is silent so the words actually start with a vowel sound, thus leading to the use of ''an.''
*Beyond this, there is a longstanding controversy over whether to use ''a'' or ''an'' with words that in some accents start with a silent ''h'' and in others they don't (see [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=3328463#post3328463 Straightdope]). The [http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/historical?q=historical Oxford Learner's Dictionary] says about ''historical'': Some speakers do not pronounce the ‘h’ at the beginning of '''historical''' and use ‘an’ instead of ‘a’ before it. This now sounds old-fashioned.
*In the title text [[Randall]] adds the word ''hypercorrection'' to the list that includes ''historical'' and ''history''. In this invented accent, the pronunciation would be "ypercorrection".

This comic complements two of the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobbies]] comics [[326: Effect an Effect]] (which discusses the trolling of amateur grammar Nazis) and [[1405: Meteor]] (which mocks pedantry). This comic could also just as well have been labelled as one of Randall's Hobbies.

This comic also appears to be an example of {{w|self-irony}} as the author himself has previously exhibited certain inclination to insist on grammatically strict mode of usage of words loaned from Latin. One such example is the fact that [http://fora.xkcd.com/ xkcd's online discussion forums] are called ''fora'', which is a correct plural nominative form of ''forum'' in Latin.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball reading off a smart phone to someone off-screen.]
:Cueball: According to this polling data, after Kirk and Picard, the most popular Star Trek character are Data.
:Off-screen voice: ''Augh!''
:[Caption below the frame:]
:Annoy grammar pedants on all sides by making "data" singular '''except''' when referring to the android.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Pedantic]]
[[Category:How to annoy]]

1536: The Martian

2025-03-22T07:37:49Z

Caralice: fix formatting again

{{comic
| number = 1536
| date = June 10, 2015
| title = The Martian
| image = the_martian.png
| titletext = I have never seen a work of fiction so perfectly capture the out-of-nowhere shock of discovering that you've just bricked something important because you didn't pay enough attention to a loose wire.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is very excited about seeing that the trailer for ''{{w|The Martian (film)|The Martian}}'' is finally released, because he really liked the book. Cueball most likely represents [[Randall]] himself in this comic. ''The Martian'' is a 2015 film based on a 2011 science fiction {{w|The Martian (Weir novel)| novel of the same name}} by {{w|Andy Weir (writer)|Andy Weir}}. The plot involves an astronaut who's accidentally left on {{w|Mars}} when the rest of his crew has to leave during a disaster. The central plot of the novel involves the protagonist having to improvise ways to survive in such an inhospitable environment until a rescue mission can be mounted.

[[White Hat]] is apparently unfamiliar with the book, and [[Cueball]] explains it by referencing a scene from another movie. {{w|Apollo 13 (film)|''Apollo 13''}} is a film about {{w|Apollo 13#Accident|an actual event}} in which a mission to the moon had to be aborted when the ship was damaged en route. In [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ry55--J4_VQ the referenced scene], NASA personnel had to quickly develop a plan to build an improvised adapter for a carbon dioxide scrubber, using only those materials available on the spacecraft. This task was critical to the astronauts' survival, if they had failed, the air in the ship would have soon become unbreathable.

Cueball apparently particularly enjoyed that scene, and suggests that this kind of on-the-fly problem solving in order to survive is the central theme of ''The Martian'', rather than being only a single scene.

In the final panel, White Hat wonders how such a plot was made into a big-budget film starring Matt Damon. Matt Damon is a high-profile star, known for action films like the {{w|Bourne (film series)|''Bourne'' series}}. Blockbuster films with such stars are usually designed to appeal to as broad an audience as possible, to maximize ticket sales, and therefore justify their large budgets. The kind of cerebral, science-heavy problem solving at the core of ''The Martian'' tends to appeal to a smaller, nerdier demographic. Cueball appears similarly surprised that the film was made in the first place, but is happy that it was.

On the day the movie was released in the US, Randall went to see it and released this comic about it: [[1585: Similarities]].

In [[2561: Moonfall]] a similar discussion of an upcoming movie is made for ''{{w|Moonfall (film)|Moonfall}}''. But in that case it is the scientific inaccuracy that is the subject, and the huge explosion that makes it worth seeing anyway... maybe?
{{spoiler|The following paragraph contains spoilers for ''{{w|The Martian (film)|The Martian}}''. If you don’t want to be spoiled, skip this paragraph.}}The title text references a particular event in ''The Martian''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s story: The protagonist managed to establish communications with Earth by {{w|repurposing}} the {{w|Mars Pathfinder|Pathfinder}} space probe that NASA landed on Mars in 1997. While working on another piece of equipment, he accidentally subjects the probe to an electrical short-circuit, destroying its electronics and "bricking" it. "{{w|Bricking}}" is a term in consumer electronics which essentially means to cause an electronic device to become non-functional and essentially no more useful than a "brick". An unexpected "bricking" can be very surprising, and in a case where the item is critical, could be devastating. This bricking scene from the book was left out of the movie.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting at a desk using a computer and White Hat walks in.]
:Cueball: Ooh, trailer for ''The Martian!''
:White Hat: What's that?
:Cueball: Movie of a book I liked.
:White Hat: Should I read it?

:[Cueball pivots on chair and turns away from computer to face White Hat.]
:Cueball: Depends. You know the scene in Apollo 13 where the guy says "we have to figure out how to connect ''this'' thing to ''this'' thing using ''this'' table full of parts or the astronauts will all die?
:White Hat: Yeah?

:[Cueball pivots on chair again and resumes using computer while talking. White Hat looks at his smart phone.]
:Cueball: ''The Martian'' is for people who wish the whole movie had just been more of that scene.
:White Hat: How on earth did ''that'' become a big-budget thing with Matt Damon?
:Cueball: No idea, but I'm ''so'' excited.

==Trivia==
In [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SemyzKgaUU&feature=youtu.be&t=2760 a video interview] by Adam Savage with Andy Weir the author of ''The Martian'' says that his goal was to make the whole book like the mentioned scene from ''Apollo 13'' - exactly what the comic is saying. The video was posted on YouTube the day after the xkcd comic. In the end, the movie likely didn't disappoint the big-budget movie makers, grossing more than $630 million against a budget of $108 million.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

1536: The Martian

2025-03-22T07:30:46Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 1536
| date = June 10, 2015
| title = The Martian
| image = the_martian.png
| titletext = I have never seen a work of fiction so perfectly capture the out-of-nowhere shock of discovering that you've just bricked something important because you didn't pay enough attention to a loose wire.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is very excited about seeing that the trailer for ''{{w|The Martian (film)|The Martian}}'' is finally released, because he really liked the book. Cueball most likely represents [[Randall]] himself in this comic. ''The Martian'' is a 2015 film based on a 2011 science fiction {{w|The Martian (Weir novel)| novel of the same name}} by {{w|Andy Weir (writer)|Andy Weir}}. The plot involves an astronaut who's accidentally left on {{w|Mars}} when the rest of his crew has to leave during a disaster. The central plot of the novel involves the protagonist having to improvise ways to survive in such an inhospitable environment until a rescue mission can be mounted.

[[White Hat]] is apparently unfamiliar with the book, and [[Cueball]] explains it by referencing a scene from another movie. {{w|Apollo 13 (film)|''Apollo 13''}} is a film about {{w|Apollo 13#Accident|an actual event}} in which a mission to the moon had to be aborted when the ship was damaged en route. In [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ry55--J4_VQ the referenced scene], NASA personnel had to quickly develop a plan to build an improvised adapter for a carbon dioxide scrubber, using only those materials available on the spacecraft. This task was critical to the astronauts' survival, if they had failed, the air in the ship would have soon become unbreathable.

Cueball apparently particularly enjoyed that scene, and suggests that this kind of on-the-fly problem solving in order to survive is the central theme of ''The Martian'', rather than being only a single scene.

In the final panel, White Hat wonders how such a plot was made into a big-budget film starring Matt Damon. Matt Damon is a high-profile star, known for action films like the {{w|Bourne (film series)|''Bourne'' series}}. Blockbuster films with such stars are usually designed to appeal to as broad an audience as possible, to maximize ticket sales, and therefore justify their large budgets. The kind of cerebral, science-heavy problem solving at the core of ''The Martian'' tends to appeal to a smaller, nerdier demographic. Cueball appears similarly surprised that the film was made in the first place, but is happy that it was.

On the day the movie was released in the US, Randall went to see it and released this comic about it: [[1585: Similarities]].

In [[2561: Moonfall]] a similar discussion of an upcoming movie is made for ''{{w|Moonfall (film)|Moonfall}}''. But in that case it is the scientific inaccuracy that is the subject, and the huge explosion that makes it worth seeing anyway... maybe?
{{spoiler|The following paragraph contains spoilers for ''{{w|The Martian (film)|The Martian}}''. If you don’t want to be spoiled, skip this paragraph.}}The title text references a particular event in ''The Martian''\'s story: The protagonist managed to establish communications with Earth by {{w|repurposing}} the {{w|Mars Pathfinder|Pathfinder}} space probe that NASA landed on Mars in 1997. While working on another piece of equipment, he accidentally subjects the probe to an electrical short-circuit, destroying its electronics and "bricking" it. "{{w|Bricking}}" is a term in consumer electronics which essentially means to cause an electronic device to become non-functional and essentially no more useful than a "brick". An unexpected "bricking" can be very surprising, and in a case where the item is critical, could be devastating. This bricking scene from the book was left out of the movie.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting at a desk using a computer and White Hat walks in.]
:Cueball: Ooh, trailer for ''The Martian!''
:White Hat: What's that?
:Cueball: Movie of a book I liked.
:White Hat: Should I read it?

:[Cueball pivots on chair and turns away from computer to face White Hat.]
:Cueball: Depends. You know the scene in Apollo 13 where the guy says "we have to figure out how to connect ''this'' thing to ''this'' thing using ''this'' table full of parts or the astronauts will all die?
:White Hat: Yeah?

:[Cueball pivots on chair again and resumes using computer while talking. White Hat looks at his smart phone.]
:Cueball: ''The Martian'' is for people who wish the whole movie had just been more of that scene.
:White Hat: How on earth did ''that'' become a big-budget thing with Matt Damon?
:Cueball: No idea, but I'm ''so'' excited.

==Trivia==
In [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SemyzKgaUU&feature=youtu.be&t=2760 a video interview] by Adam Savage with Andy Weir the author of ''The Martian'' says that his goal was to make the whole book like the mentioned scene from ''Apollo 13'' - exactly what the comic is saying. The video was posted on YouTube the day after the xkcd comic. In the end, the movie likely didn't disappoint the big-budget movie makers, grossing more than $630 million against a budget of $108 million.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

1429: Data

2025-03-22T07:29:56Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 1429
| date = October 3, 2014
| title = Data
| image = data.png
| titletext = If you want to have more fun at the expense of language pedants, try developing an hypercorrection habit.
}}

==Explanation==
"Kirk vs. Picard" is a debate that many ''{{w|Star Trek}}'' fans engage in — specifically which was a better captain of the {{w|Starship Enterprise|starship ''Enterprise''}} on the TV show. Captain {{w|James T. Kirk}} and {{w|Jean-Luc Picard}} each were captains of the ship in different periods (Kirk was captain of USS ''Enterprise'' (NCC-1701) in {{w|Star Trek: The Original Series|The Original Series}}, while Picard was captain of USS ''Enterprise''-D (NCC-1701-D) in ''{{w|Star Trek: The Next Generation|The Next Generation}}''), but fans argue over who was the "best". Most third-place candidates are pretty distant, resulting in a more multi-faceted debate. [[Cueball]] seems to be looking at results of polling for this ''third'' most popular character.

The humor in this comic stems from the fact that the Latin word ''data'' is a plural form of the word ''datum'' ‘a piece of information’, and that originally English followed Latin's lead and treated ''data'' as plural. However, in more recent English, usage of ''datum'' has faded to the extent that [http://statistics.about.com/od/Glossary/a/What-Is-The-Plural-Of-Data.htm ''data'' is treated as a collective noun]. This usage is becoming increasingly (but not universally) accepted as grammatically correct — the ''Wall Street Journal'', for instance, recently announced that it is moving away from saying "data are," while the ''New York Times''\' manual of style allows for both variants depending on usage scenario; ''USA Today'', however, is consistently using ''data'' as a plural ("data are"). Naturally, the purists insist on the form that is correct from the Latin grammar point of view and see "data is" as an example of a subject-verb agreement error. This type of "error" is present in the beginning of the sentence that Cueball is citing ("According to this polling data," while certain traditionalists would hold that the grammatically correct variant would be "According to these polling data").

The second error in the same sentence is due to the fact that {{w|Data (Star Trek)|Data}} is a character from ''Star Trek: The Next Generation.'' Since it is a character's name, when used to refer to the character, "Data" should always be treated as singular.

By reversing the verb agreement in both cases, Cueball is going out of his way to annoy grammatically obsessed people.

The title text suggests the mocking of language pedants/amateur {{w|Grammar Nazi|grammar Nazis}} by {{w|Hypercorrection|hypercorrecting}} one's use of language. The sentence itself is an example of this:
*The general rule is that words starting with a consonant should be preceded by ''a,'' while words starting with a vowel should be preceded by ''an.'' However,
*The letter ''h'' is a special case, since in words like ''honor'' (/ˈɒnəɹ/) and ''hour'' (/ˈaʊəɹ/) the ''h'' is silent so the words actually start with a vowel sound, thus leading to the use of ''an.''
*Beyond this, there is a longstanding controversy over whether to use ''a'' or ''an'' with words that in some accents start with a silent ''h'' and in others they don't (see [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=3328463#post3328463 Straightdope]). The [http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/historical?q=historical Oxford Learner's Dictionary] says about ''historical'': Some speakers do not pronounce the ‘h’ at the beginning of '''historical''' and use ‘an’ instead of ‘a’ before it. This now sounds old-fashioned.
*In the title text [[Randall]] adds the word ''hypercorrection'' to the list that includes ''historical'' and ''history''. In this invented accent, the pronunciation would be "ypercorrection".

This comic complements two of the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobbies]] comics [[326: Effect an Effect]] (which discusses the trolling of amateur grammar Nazis) and [[1405: Meteor]] (which mocks pedantry). This comic could also just as well have been labelled as one of Randall's Hobbies.

This comic also appears to be an example of {{w|self-irony}} as the author himself has previously exhibited certain inclination to insist on grammatically strict mode of usage of words loaned from Latin. One such example is the fact that [http://fora.xkcd.com/ xkcd's online discussion forums] are called ''fora'', which is a correct plural nominative form of ''forum'' in Latin.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball reading off a smart phone to someone off-screen.]
:Cueball: According to this polling data, after Kirk and Picard, the most popular Star Trek character are Data.
:Off-screen voice: ''Augh!''
:[Caption below the frame:]
:Annoy grammar pedants on all sides by making "data" singular '''except''' when referring to the android.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Pedantic]]
[[Category:How to annoy]]

1128: Fifty Shades

2025-03-22T07:22:43Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 1128
| date = 31 October 2012
| title = Fifty Shades
| image = fifty shades.png
| titletext = Wishbone and the Illustrated Classics series have gotten me through every conversation I've ever had about Dickens, Treasure Island, The Anarchist's Cookbook, and Our Bodies, Ourselves.
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Fifty Shades of Grey}}'' is a best-selling novel featuring large quantities of {{w|BDSM}} sex. ''{{w|Wishbone (TV series)|Wishbone}}'' was a children's TV show about a dog who draws parallels between literature and real life in his dreams, reenacting many literary classics. The show was especially praised in its time for refusing to censor the more unpleasant aspects of its source work. Many people within [[Randall]]'s age group have experienced more literary classics through ''Wishbone'' than by actually reading them; this phenomenon lead to the formation of a Facebook group (now replaced by a [https://www.facebook.com/No-I-havent-Read-that-Great-Literary-Classic-but-Ive-seen-the-Wishbone-162079210527833/ page]) with over 70,000 members dedicated to that idea.

In the comic, [[Cueball]] claims to have learned all that he knows about ''Fifty Shades of Grey'' from the ''Wishbone'' adaptation of the book. Knowing the faithful nature of ''Wishbone''\'s adaptations, an episode on the book would likely involve age-inappropriate material for children, as the sounds emanating from the TV would suggest.

In the title text:
*{{w|Great Illustrated Classics}} is a series of easy to read adaptations of literary classics, including works by {{w|Charles Dickens}} and Stevenson's ''{{w|Treasure Island}}''.
*''{{w|The Anarchist Cookbook}}'', first published in 1971, is a book that contains instructions for the manufacture of explosives, rudimentary telecommunications phreaking devices, and other items. It was written by William Powell to protest United States involvement in the Vietnam War.
*''{{w|Our Bodies, Ourselves}}'' is a book about women's health and sexuality produced by the nonprofit organization Our Bodies Ourselves (originally called the Boston Women's Health Book Collective). First published in 1971, it contains information related to many aspects of women's health and sexuality, including menopause, birth control, childbirth, sexual health, sexual orientation, gender identity, mental health and general well-being.

Part of the title text joke is that the latter two works would not likely be the subject of Great Illustrated Classics or ''Wishbone''. However, the title text may be actually technically 100% correct, if Randall hasn't ever had an in-depth conversation about either of the latter two works.

The book was later made into a film which was referenced in [[1585: Similarities]] almost three years later.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting on the floor watching his TV standing on a small table. He is leaning back on one arm resting the other arms hand on his knee. Light is coming out from the TV screen, as shown with nine small lines. A high sound is shown above the TV in a starburst and the sound of a dog barking is coming out from the screen with a line indicating this. Above the drawings there are two paragraphs of text:]
:As with most famous books, I've never actually '''read''' ''Fifty Shades of Grey.''
:I only know the plot from watching the ''Wishbone'' version.
:Dog in movie: Bark!
:Dog in movie: Bark!
:Sound: ''Smack!''
:Dog in movie: Bark!:

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

887: Future Timeline

2025-03-22T06:47:44Z

Caralice: fix formatting

819: Five-Minute Comics: Part 1

2025-03-22T06:37:27Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 819
| date = November 15, 2010
| title = Five-Minute Comics: Part 1
| image = five minute comics part 1.png
| titletext = The wolves thin the RAID arrays, removing the slowest and weakest disks to keep the average seek speed high.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the first of three "five-minute comics" Randall posted during a week in November 2010. The introduction to the comic explains everything you need to know about the circumstances behind it.

Randall obviously made more than three of these five minutes comics, and one of them was published later, for a short period of time by a mistake, but an android xkcd browser picked it up while it was on-line and saved it. Since then it has been added to explain xkcd. So here is a complete list of all four comics in the entire [[:Category:Five-minute comics|Five-minute comics]] series:
*[[819: Five-Minute Comics: Part 1]]
*[[820: Five-Minute Comics: Part 2]]
*[[821: Five-Minute Comics: Part 3]]
*[[Five-Minute Comics: Part 4]]

Here is a list with explanations for each of the small comics:
# In astronomy, an "approach" is when two bodies come abnormally close to one another, but not close enough to crash. {{w|Jupiter}}, as most probably know, is the fifth planet in our solar system. Its approach to Earth in September 2010 was the closest seen in many years - in fact, the next time it will come that close will be in 2022. In the comic, this is indicated by Jupiter hovering right above Earth and talking to the characters. Of course, Jupiter is not only planet-sized, but is ''enormous'' compared to Earth; in fact, Earth would fit quite comfortably into the {{w|Atmosphere of Jupiter#Great Red Spot|red spot}} of Jupiter. Gravitational slingshots are used by deep-space probes to gain speed by approaching a planet and then leaving that planet; the gravity fields of the sun and the planet changes the trajectory of the probe, and the end result is an extremely fuel-efficient way of gaining speed during space travel. Jupiter is commonly used for this purpose because it's the most massive planet in our solar system.
# The comic in the middle left features the lyrics to the Johnny Cash song {{w|A Boy Named Sue}}, but with "Sue" replaced with "Trig." Inexplicably, Trig is a name that people actually give their children. The most notable example in the US - and probably the inspiration for Randall drawing this comic - is Trig Palin, the son of Alaskan politician Sarah Palin. Trig is also a widely accepted abbreviation for the mathematical field of {{w|trigonometry}}, and it sounds similar to "twig," so one can imagine how a person with such a name might be ridiculed.
# A child getting trapped in a well is an alien experience to some parts of the Western world, but it's quite a serious problem in places where wells are commonplace. Here, though, rather than attempt to rescue the little girl, Cueball instead tries to grant her wish of owning a pony before her imminent demise; a pony is a stereotypical thing for a little girl to want. Of course, since ponies don't fit into wells too easily,{{cn}} he has to stuff it in, which appears to be quite painful for the pony.
# The server room of a large datacenter would be an unusual place to return "back to nature", to say the least. {{w|Reintroduction}} refers to the process of taking a population of animals raised in captivity and bringing them back to the wild; this is a delicate process, as being raised in captivity affects the natural development of skills the animal needs to survive. In fact, Wikipedia has a page specifically about the challenges of {{w|wolf reintroduction}}. Needless to say, reintroducing wolves to a server room is neither a good idea nor OSHA-approved. Cueball may also be referencing a computer program named "reintroduction" or something similar when he says "We started a reintroduction program".
# Directly below the previous comic, Cueball is telling a "yo mama" joke. Such jokes are usually told in jest, and aren't really targeted at a particular person's mother; however, in this case, Cueball ''was'' attempting to make an honest observation about the listener's mother, and when he discovers his mistake, he realizes that she is, in fact, quite a nice person. Alternatively, Cueball is insulting the femininity of the listener's mother, and the masculinity of the listener's father.
# {{w|Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart}} wrote an opera called ''{{w|The Magic Flute}}'', though the comic seems to attribute it to {{w|Johann Sebastian Bach|Bach}}. {{w|Richard Wagner}} wrote a series of operas called {{w|Der Ring des Nibelungen}}, or, more commonly, the ring cycle. Here, Randall interprets the ring cycle as some kind of motorcycle, while the teleporting magic flute comes from video games: in both ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Super Mario Bros. 3'', the player can obtain a magic flute item that has teleportation powers. In the Magic Tree House series, the magic flute is an actual magical flute that does magic when played, although it does not teleport people. The caption implies that even Randall is not sure what meaning this comic has. However, as he has made a mash up of Mozart, Bach and Wagner - this must be intentional - so ''he'' does not attribute the Magic Flute to Bach! Also, due to the anachronistic nature of this comic, it could imply a pun, where they are going "Bach to the future."
# This comic shows how people rate the "hotness" of girls. Glamour magazines have desensitized many people to photo-edited models with large amounts of make-up, so the model gets a "meh" reaction. The girl in biology class, by contrast, is not only "real" by comparison, but is actually a viable choice for dating, so she is given a 2 star rating. If the same girl from bio class is wearing your shirt, that usually means you've had sex the night before, and she spent the night at your apartment, hence the need to get dressed in one of your shirts; this possibility earns the highest rating, 4 stars. Here it starts taking a turn for the worse. If wearing one of ''your'' shirts means she spent the night with ''you'', logically, wearing one of your ''mom's'' shirts means she spent the night with ''your mom''. This earns a "Wat!" reaction. Finally, human skin is not generally designed to detach from its owner.{{Citation needed}} If the girl from your bio class is wearing your mom's skin like a suit, it means she probably murdered your mom and skinned her. This is a reference to serial killer {{w|Ed Gein}}, who (among other things) made suits out of the skin of some of his victims. To this, Cueball can only scream.

The title text refers to the wolves thinning the RAID array. A {{w|RAID|RAID array}} is a way of spreading data redundantly across multiple hard drives, such that 100% of the data is still recoverable if some number of drives go down. This number can be set arbitrarily, as long as you have at least one more disk than the number you want, but it reduces your total storage space accordingly. The seek speed of a drive is how fast it can find a specific point of data on its platter; thus, the wolves are essentially killing the slowest drives, implementing a kind of natural selection to "evolve" the drives to be faster. "Thinning the RAID array" is a play on words. In the ecological sense, it refers to eliminating some members of the population to allow the remaining ones to thrive more successfully. In the datacenter sense, "thin provisioning" refers to the practice of marking an intent to use disk storage for a specific purpose but allowing it to be used for something else until actually needed (as opposed to "thick provisioning" which immediately reserves the storage space, even if unused).

==Transcript==
Because of a family illness, instead of regular comics, this week I'll be sharing some strips that I drew as part of a game I played with friends. Each comic had to be written and drawn in five minutes. -- Randall

====Comic #1====
:[Cueball and Megan stand facing each other.]
:Cueball: Jupiter will make its closest approach to Earth in decades.
:[Cueball points behind Megan, and she turns around.]
:Cueball: In fact, here it comes now!
:[Jupiter, about the size of the characters' heads, hovers into the frame at about head-height.]
:Jupiter: Hey, guys.
:[Jupiter continues to hover through the frame as the characters watch it go.]
:Jupiter: Anyone need a gravitational slingshot?
:Megan: No, I'm good.
:Jupiter: Aight.

====Comic #2====
:[Cueball sits on a box, playing a guitar.]
:Cueball: ...Now I don't blame him 'cause he ran and hid,
:Cueball: but the meanest thing that he ever did
:Cueball: was before he left, he went and named me "Trig."

====Comic #3====
:[Cueball looks down a well.]
:Cueball: Oh God, a little girl is trapped down this well!
:[Cueball runs off screen.]
:[Cueball returns, leading a pony.]
:Cueball: It's okay, we got you that pony you always wanted!
:[Cueball tries to cram the pony down the well with the aid of a large stick.]
:Cueball: Get... in... there...
:Cueball: Ugh!

====Comic #4====
:[Cueball and Megan stand in a server room. ]
:Cueball: I like to get back to nature by coming out here to the server room.
:Cueball: The warmth, the whirr of the drives, the drone of the fans, the howl of the wolves...
:Megan: Wolves?
:Cueball: Yeah, we started a reintroduction program.
:Wolf: Awoooooo

====Comic #5====
:[Cueball stands by himself in the frame.]
:Cueball: Yo momma's so masculine that she... oh, wait, that's your dad.
:Cueball: Is your mom the lady over by the door? Aww, she looks nice!

====Comic #6====
:[Cueball runs toward another man who is wearing a powdered wig, holding a gun in one hand, and a flute in the other. Behind him, someone is chasing him on a motorcycle.]
:Cueball: Bach, activate the magic flute and teleport us home! Wagner's right behind me on his Ring Cycle!
:Why did I ''draw'' this?

====Comic #7====
:Hotness Ratings:
:[A close up of a girl with wavy hair.]
:Incredibly made-up girl on magazine cover.
:Girl: Airbrush!
:[Inset of Cueball: "Meh."]

:[An average girl.]
:Girl in your bio class.
:[Inset of Cueball: "Two out of four stars."]

:[Girl with mussed hair in over-sized men's shirt.]
:Girl in your bio class wearing one of your shirts.
:Girl: Want some breakfast?
:[Cueball: "Four out of four stars."]

:[Girl with another sort of shirt speaking to an older lady.]
:Girl in your bio class wearing one of your mom's shirts.
:Girl: Thanks for the great night.
:[Cueball: "Wat!"]

:[Creepy-looking girl.]
:Girl in your bio class wearing your mom's skin like a suit.
:Girl: Give Mommy a hug!
:[Cueball, screaming: "AAAAAAAA"]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Five-minute comics| 01]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Five-minute comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Animals]]

397: Unscientific

2025-03-22T06:26:25Z

Caralice: fix formatting

{{comic
| number = 397
| date = March 17, 2008
| title = Unscientific
| image = unscientific.png
| titletext = Last week, we busted the myth that electroweak gauge symmetry is broken by the Higgs mechanism. We'll also examine the existence of God and whether true love exists.
}}

==Explanation==
In the first and second frames, [[Megan]] can be seen accusing ''{{w|MythBusters}}'' of not actually "doing science" because of its lack of {{w|Rigour|rigor}} - a debate beyond the scope of this Wiki. The {{w|zombie}} of deceased physicist, {{w|Richard Feynman}}, comes to explain to [[Megan]] that she has failed to recognize the purpose of ''MythBusters''. He explains that ''MythBusters''\' value is getting people to accept and understand the importance of experimentation in the scientific method, and that more complex lessons (such as on rigor) would be wasted on people who don't understand those basics.

In the last frame, [[Cueball]] attempts to save himself and [[Megan]] from zombie Feynman by implying that physicists, being extremely intelligent, would have more desirable brains. Also, in a science lab, the number of brains available would be higher than just two. Feynman's closing remark implies that {{w|String theory|string theorists}} have no brains; the joke being that string theorists are presumably less intelligent than Cueball and Megan, who were merely watching television prior to being attacked, and probably also a pun on {{w|brane}}s. For another instance of [[Randall]] knocking string theorists, see [[171: String Theory]]. This notion fits appropriately with Feynman's description of the core of science. Moreover, Feynman's own career involved applying physics to real world applications (such as for the Manhattan Project), whereas the work of string theorists is theoretical and untested.

The title text starts by rebounding against the complaint of validity as science by purportedly tackling a ''really'' big scientific inquiry. Then he veers away into two far more esoteric proposed fields of study, of which at least one is not even determinable by the scientific method, probably both.

The ''Mythbusters'' episode being watched is likely {{w|MythBusters_(2008_season)#Episode_109_–_"Ninjas_2"|Episode 109 – "Ninjas 2"}}, which was the second episode in which the Mythbusters attempted to catch an arrow mid-flight. The voice from the television is likely that of {{w|List_of_MythBusters_cast_members#Robert_Lee|Robert Lee}}, who provided the narration for ''Mythbusters''. It should also be noted that the ninja mentioned in this is the inaccurate pop culture iteration not the historical Shinobi no Mono. for more accurate info on the Shinobi [https://www.google.com/search?q=antony+cummins search "Antony Cummins"].

Zombies are a [[:Category:Zombies|recurring theme]] in xkcd, particularly zombie scientists, which has also occurred twice after this comic with {{w|Paul Erdős}} in [[599: Apocalypse]] and {{w|Marie Curie}} in [[896: Marie Curie]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are sitting on a coach, watching Mythbusters.]
:TV: Can a ninja catch an arrow? On this episode, we'll find out!
:Cueball: Mmm, science.
:Megan: Hey, Mythbusters is entertaining, but it's not science.

:Zombie Feynman: ''BRAAAAAIIINNS''...
:Cueball: Zombie Feynman!
:Zombie Feynman: You got a problem with Mythbusters?
:Megan: They fail at basic rigor!

:Zombie Feynman: "Ideas are tested by experiment." That is the core of science. Everything else is bookkeeping.

:Zombie Feynman: By teaching people to hold their beliefs up to experiment, ''Mythbusters'' is doing more to drag humanity out of the unscientific darkness than a thousand lessons in rigor. Show them some love.

:Zombie Feynman: Anyway, back to zombie stuff. I hunger for ''BRAAAAAIIINNS!''
:Cueball: Uh, try the physics lab next door.
:Zombie Feynman: I said brains. All they've got are string theorists.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Zombies]]

17: What If

2025-03-22T05:22:08Z

Caralice: fix formatting

<noinclude>:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 17
| date = October 7, 2005
| title = What If
| before = <big><big>[https://web.archive.org/web/20070927001941/http://xkcd-drawings.livejournal.com/?skip=40#:~:text=10%3A41%20am-,Friday%20drawing!,-One%20of%20my Original title]: '''Friday drawing!'''</big></big>
| image = what_if.jpg
| titletext = I once made an anniversary card for my then-girlfriend with this layout. [https://web.archive.org/web/20070927001941/http://xkcd-drawings.livejournal.com/?skip=40#:~:text=10%3A41%20am-,Friday%20drawing!,-One%20of%20my Original caption]: One of my best friends just got engaged. I really, truly think they're going to be very happy together.
}}

==Explanation==
This was the sixteenth comic originally posted to [[LiveJournal]]. The previous one was [[16: Monty Python -- Enough]], and the next one was [[18: Snapple]].

The comic features a man and a woman in a romantic setting, surrounded by a {{w|fractal}} combination of love and doubts; an arrangement based on the {{w|Apollonian gasket}} construction. Three circles are drawn tangent to each other, then additional circles are added that are tangent to three existing circles (without overlapping), ad infinitum. [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] hadn't standardized his character designs yet, so it's hard to say if the comic features [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] or [[Hairy]].

In the original caption, Randall reports that one of his best friends recently got engaged. The friends he's referring to are [[Scott]] and Sarah (probably the one from [[84: National Language]]), as [https://web.archive.org/web/20060529065522/http://xkcd-drawings.livejournal.com/4279.html he confirms in the comment section] for this comic.

==Transcript==
:[A large black circle (drawn on grid paper) with white bubbles inside it, filled with hearts, question marks, and stick figure couples. The hearts are colored red.]
:[Bottom left circle - stick figure couple with a heart]
:[Top right circle - with couple:]
:what if this isn't everything it should be?
:[Two circles left of top-right:]
:i'm not even sure how i feel
:[One circle right of top-right:]
:what if i'm making a mistake?

==Trivia==
* This is the first xkcd comic featuring [[Scott]].
* Randall's later blog and books have the same name as this comic, ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'', but it's just a coincidence.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Posted on LiveJournal| 16]]
[[Category:First day on xkcd.com]]
[[Category:Checkered paper]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Scott]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

859: (

2024-12-28T13:55:29Z

Caralice: /* Explanation */ elaborate on "Russian" parentheses

{{comic
| number = 859
| date = February 11, 2011
| title = (
| image = (.png
| titletext = Brains aside, I wonder how many poorly-written xkcd.com-parsing scripts will break on this title (or ;;"'<nowiki/>'{<<[' this mouseover text."
}}

== Explanation ==

). Okay, with that out of the way, let the explanation begin.

In programming, punctuation is often used to mark sections of code. Paired punctuation marks must always be matched up with a corresponding closing mark, otherwise a so-called {{w|syntax error}} occurs. The programming language {{w|Lisp_(programming_language)|Lisp}} (also featured in [[224: Lisp]] is known for large numbers of nested/paired parentheses. Even in literary works intended only for human consumption, the absence of a matching closing parenthesis as appears in this sentence or other "balanced" punctuation sets creates a mental expectation of eventual closure and completion that remains unfulfilled even long after the unmatched mark is encountered.

There is also a reference to [[312: With Apologies to Robert Frost]] which could contain the missing parentheses.

It can also be interpreted as a {{w|metaphor}}, which compares the reader with a Lisp {{w|Interpreter (Computing)|interpreter}}. The interpreter looks for the parenthesis until the end of the file, where it eventually halts, and prints out the error. The comic claims that if you read an unmatched parenthesis, you will look for it for the rest of the day too.

It also refers to an awkward feeling when you see something out of place in a piece of literary text (like unmatched parentheses, spellying error or a randomly-plac,ed comma..

Also, it may refer to {{w|OCD}}.

Finally, some countries (Russia in particular) use just parentheses instead of text smileys so that <code>:(</code> becomes <code>(</code> and <code>:)</code> turns into <code>)</code>, and it's even somewhat common to stack multiple smiles together in such cases like <code>)))</code>. Hence those readers can magically resist the unresolved tension of the comic but may feel a bit sad instead as a side effect, although the parenthesis is placed in the beginning and not in the end as usual.

The title text refers to the same issue as already highlighted in [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]: if your scripts trust external input, you sometimes will be surprised. At the time of this comic, there were quite a few websites that would grab the xkcd comic three times a week and publish them on their own site. This comic likely broke at least some of the websites because of either the unmatched paren or the extra unmatched markup that is in the title text.

==Transcript==
:[Caption inside an oblong panel:]
:(An unmatched left parenthesis creates an unresolved tension that will stay with you all day.

==Trivia==

* There are other comics with unpaired parentheses (not counting emoticons): [[19]], [[850]], [[1052]], [[1079|1079 (in "Colorado")]], [[1960]] This list is incomplete. Please expand it.
** Comic [[541]] discusses the relationship between emoticons and unpaired parentheses.
** By contrast, [[312]] has an unpaired close parenthesis.
* The well-known "helper website" [http://gChq.github.io/CyberChef/# CyberChef] has a text on its loading page that is a reference to this comic, probably as a joke.
* In Chinese Internet Slang, some people, especially [[:Category:Rhythm_Games|rhythm game]] enthusiasts, may place an unpaired open parenthesis at the end of a sentence to create [https://www.zhihu.com/question/28689654/answer/1038303988 a humorous effect].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Programming]]