explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1942: Memorable Quotes

2018-01-16T03:24:33Z

Clubjustin4: /* Table */

{{comic
| number = 1942
| date = January 15, 2018
| title = Memorable Quotes
| image = memorable_quotes.png
| titletext = "Since there's no ending quote mark, everything after this is part of my quote. —Randall Munroe
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Finish adding the explanations for all quotes, and make sure none of the explanations are pithy or self-evident.}}
This comic "helpfully" provides random quotes to be used by anyone as {{w|blurb}}s, online reviews, motivational quotes or similar short bits of text. Either the webcomic xkcd or its creator Randall Munroe may be quoted using any of the provided lines, as stated at the top of the comic.

In particular, their "usefulness" lies in the fact that almost any of them can be applied to almost any situation. This is achieved by making each quote not really about anything in particular, aside from the fact that they are quotes. This is in contrast to typical quotes, which are never quite this aware that they will be quoted, but this is to be expected when the lines here were made solely for being quoted.

These self-aware quotes are, on a meta level, jokes about quotations generally. Most of Randall's quotes either sabotage the quoting work, reference some aspect of quotes as used in practice, or both---and it can be both when the aspects referenced are about twisting people's words to look like they agree with you.

==Table==
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Quote !! Explanation
|-
|''"I disagree strongly with whatever work this quote is attached to."''
|It is possible to quote someone who disagrees strongly with you in a way that looks like they do.
|-
|''"This quote was taken out of context."''
|It is just as possible to take a quote out of context to make your argument look good.
|-
|''"This quote is often falsely attributed to {{w|Mark Twain}}."''
|Many quotes are misquoted as being said by famous people (such as [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mark_Twain#Misattributed Mark Twain], [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Dr._Seuss#Misattributed Dr. Seuss], or [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein#Misattributed Albert Einstein]). If this quote was attributed to Mark Twain, however, it would be immediately clear that either it wasn't said by him, or he was lying at the time.
|-
|''"I'm being quoted to introduce something, but I have no idea what it is and certainly don't endorse it."''
|This is likely the case for many famous, widely admired people who are often quoted for all sorts of arguments, even diametrically opposed ones.
|-
|''"This quote is very memorable."''
|This is most certainly not the case; this quote is very forgettable, being a very short and bland quote in a list of far more interesting quotes.
|-
|''"I wrote this book, and the person quoting me here is taking credit for it."''
|The quote is sabotaging the work that uses it.
|-
|''"This entire thing is the quote, not just the part in quote marks." [Quote marks, brackets, and editor's note are all in the original. —Ed.]''
|The quote itself is referencing how sometimes quotes include mistakes or typographical oddities that may make the reader worry a mistake has been made by the quoting author. An editor's note can be included to assure the original was like that.
|-
|''"Websites that collect quotes are full of mistakes and never check original sources."''
|Websites that collect quotes are infamous for not checking sources. This has been parodied in many ways.
|-
|''"This quote will be the only part of this presentation you remember."''
|Randall asserts that the presentation this quote is found in will be very forgettable, making it likely that a lot of people will listen closer to prove the quote wrong.
|-
|''"Oooh, look at me, I looked up a quote!"''
|Quotes are used to add weight, wit, or authority to a work. If your quote doesn't quite manage this, however, then the inclusion of the quote might just look like you're trying to impress people.
|-
|''"If you're doing a text search in this document for the word 'butts,' the good news is that it's here, but the bad news is that it only appears in this unrelated quote."''
|This would probably occur if you decided to follow Randall's advice and include this quote in your work.
|-
|''"Wait, what if these quote marks are inside out, so everything in the rest of the document is the quotation and ''this'' part isn't? ''Duuuuude.''"''
|The quote imitates the stereotype of strange revelations being made by hippies, typically ones on drugs. If it were true, it would mean that whoever wrote the quoting work would be stealing the entire thing from somewhere, with the exception of these two weird sentences pointing it out.
|-
|''"The editors of ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'' are a bunch of cowards who don't have the guts to print this."''
|The author of this quote is apparently making a desperate attempt to get a quote published by challenging the editors of ''{{w|Bartlett's Familiar Quotations}}''.
|-
|''"This quote only looks profound when it's in a script font over a sunset."''
|Inspirational quotes are often set in a fancy font above a picture of a sunset, mountain range, beach, etc. to make them look more profound. This quote suggests that, without such formatting, it looks boring and average.
|-
|''"I don't do a lot of public speaking, so I looked up a memorable quote to start my speech, and this is what I found. OK, you're staring at me blankly, but this whole thing is a quote. I know that sounds confusing, but... you know what, never mind."''
|People often begin speeches with a memorable quote. This quote attempts to explain that it is being used as such, but it fails and gives up.
|-
|''"Sent from my iPhone"''
|This is the default email signature on an {{w|iPhone}}. Quoting this would lead the reader to think that you typed the rest of the work on your phone.
|-
|''"Since there's no ending quote mark, everything after this is part of my quote. —Randall Munroe
|Appears in the title text. Randall Munroe is claiming that, because the ending quotation mark is absent, the remainder of the work that the quote prefaces is thus a continuation of Randall's quote, even the attribution to Randall itself. However, as you can see by the first four words of this explanation, this is easily counteracted.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Needs some formatting}}
Looking for a quote for something?
Here are some for general use.

They can be attributed to xkcd or Randall Munroe as needed.

*"I disagree strongly with whatever work this quote is attached to."
*"This quote was taken out of context."
*"This quote is often falsely attributed to Mark Twain."
*"I'm being quoted to introduce something, but I have no idea what it is and certainly don't endorse it."
*"This quote is very memorable."
*"I wrote this book, and the person quoting me here is taking credit for it."
*"This entire thing is the quote, not just the part in quote marks." [quote marks, brackets, and editor's note are all in the original. -ED.]
*"Websites that collect quotes are full of mistakes and never check original sources."
*"This quote will be the only part of this presentation you remember."
*"Oooh, look at me, I looked up a quote!"
*"If you're doing a text search in this document for the word 'butts,' the good news is that it's here, but the bad news is that it only appears in this unrelated quote."
*"Wait, what if these quote marks are inside out, so everything in the rest of the document is the quotation and ''this'' part isn't? ''Duuuuude."
*"The editors of ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'' are a bunch of cowards who don't have the guts to print this."
*"This quote only looks profound when it's in a script font over a sunset."
*"I don't do a lot of public speaking, so I looked up a memorable quote to start my speech, and this is what I found. OK, you're staring at me blankly, but this whole thing is a quote. I know that sounds confusing, but... You know what, never mind!"
*"Sent from my iPhone."
{{comic discussion}}

1795: All You Can Eat

2017-02-08T07:34:23Z

Clubjustin4:

{{comic
| number = 1795
| date = February 6, 2017
| title = All You Can Eat
| image = all_you_can_eat.png
| titletext = After my absent-mindedness resulted in a bad posterboard-related stomachache, I learned to do the sign-making place last.
}}

==Explanation==
An all-you-can-eat {{w|buffet}} is when a restaurant will charge you once for entry and then continuously serve you more food at no additional cost until you have eaten all-you-can-eat. Part of the "[[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]]" series, this comic shows [[Randall]] wishes to prepend "all-you-can-eat" to random stores. With the exception of the pet store, these stores do not sell food, so the very idea of eating their product would be ridiculous[[[285|''citation needed'']]]. However, this is what Randall's stunt makes the stores he defaces seem to advertise. Most people would not seriously consider eating the products these stores sell even with the signs suggesting they should, as it is just a monumentally stupid idea[[[285|''citation needed'']]].

In the title text, Randall seems to have fallen for his own prank. After he puts the "all-you-can-eat" sign onto the signmakers' place, he proceeds to heed his own sign literally and eat the posterboards that he is supposed to make signs from. To remind himself not to make the same mistake again, he tells himself to "do the sign-making place last."

Note that some pets are considered food in some cultures; rabbits are commonly kept as pets as well as served as food, dogs are consumed in some areas in eastern Asia, guinea pigs in South America and Africa, and [http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/alf/images/9/92/Cat_sandwich.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110128060130 some fictional characters are known for eating cats]. Even more normally, a cat owner that wants to buy an "all you can eat" bird feast for their cat would be happy with this last store. Aside from pets, pet stores also sell pet food, and while frowned upon by some, it is common practice to give human nutrition supplements to pets and vice versa. Some animal snacks are considered very tasty by many people, and there even exist several brands of snacks designed to be eaten both by people and their pets so that the owners could feel somehow closer to their beloved companion. Premium pet foods are made to standards that are no worse than standards for human food, so eating them poses no health risks in the short term - long term, most pet diets would fail to deliver right balance of nutrients needed by humans.

It should also be noted that sometimes "all-you-can-eat" is used to mean "unlimited usage". An all-you-can-eat data plan, for example, is another way to say unlimited data. If this definition of the word were used, all-you-can-eat would mean "unlimited copies of our product for a one time fee".

It is not really possible to read the obscured part of the first two signs, although it is pretty clear that the first and last letters in the first sign are A and k. And also since the A is taller than the white sign, this first letter must be larger than the others which do not show above the white sign. There could be room for anything from 8 to many more letters hidden as it can be seen in the second line below that the I's take up much less space than the other letters. But from the letters below it would be likely there were 9 (maybe including a space) if no I's were used resulting in a word or two like this "A _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ k".

The last sign is though clearly readable and it says "Kevin's Pet Store". There actually exists a [http://kevinspetshopcom.weebly.com/ web page with the name "Kevin's Pet Shop"], supposedly located in Texas, but there is very limited information on the page. See more about the use of Kevin in xkcd in the [[#Kevin|trivia]] below.

An all-you-can-eat hair salon actually makes sense... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kapsalon

==Transcript==
:[The comic shows the facades of four stores next to each other on a street, with the sidewalk shown in front of them. To the top of each store's name there has been appended white signs. Three of the white signs partially cover the name part of the sign above three of the stores, but the fourth sign is placed entirely above the text of the third store. Thus that white sign's top is higher up than the building's.]

:[First store from the left has one small rectangular section next to the door and then a larger window. The first section may be a poster with information about the store. It could also be a small window. Through the large window (or on it) two rectangular signs can be seen with unreadable text. There are also three half circles at the bottom of the large window, possibly chairs or tires on display. On the normal sized door there hangs an open/closed sign, but no text is visible. On the stores sign the top line of text, likely with the name of the store, is obscured by the white sign so most of the letters are completely covered. Less than half of the first capital letter and ditto for the last letter is visible. It looks like the first letter is an "A", and the last a "k".]
:White sign: All-you-can-eat
:Store sign: Discount Tires

:[Second store from the left has two posters over each other, the top one with unreadable text, the bottom a picture of a person with messy black hair, seen from the torso and up. Next to this is a double door with large windows from below the middle and up near the top. Next to the door there is a small window. On the stores sign the top line of text, likely with the name of the store, is completely obscured by the white sign. This line is shorter than the white sign, but the letters are taller, so top and bottom of the letters can be seen. But it is not easy to guess any letters.]
:White sign: All-you-can-eat
:Store sign: Hair Salon

:[Third store from the left has two posters over each other, but the lower poster is smaller and more to the right. Both has unreadable text, and the top one also some kind of image with two tilted rectangles. Similarly there are three signs above each other with different size and text on the right side of the store. Between them is a large open door. Wider than the double doors of store two, but there is no sign of the doors. Inside the store there are two signs, one hanging down from two rods from the ceiling, both with unreadable text. The one from the ceiling is in the center the other is partly obscured by the door frame to the left. Left and right there are two rectangular structures, which both goes behind the frame. The left is taller. In the middle there is one broad but low rectangular structure with another higher rectangle on top, which does not go to either side of the one below. The white sign on this store is slightly tilted, and most of it is above the top of the store, and thus also almost completely above the store sign. Only the top of the first and last letter in the last word in the top line is touched by the sign.]
:White sign: All-you-can-eat
:Store sign: Lumber and
:Store sign: Flooring Depot

:[Fourth store from the left has a window to the left. Behind the window is a flat surface on which two rectangular structures are standing on their long sides. Over the lowest to the left there is sign with unreadable text. Below the window there is a thins sign with more text. The normal sized door has a window from below the middle and up. There are three several signs up the left sign, and possible another three small signs at the bottom of the window. The top right corner has a curved line around the corner. No text is visible on the door. Next to the door is another square. It could be a window of a place to post things. There are one large posters to the left with unreadable text and to the top right another smaller white rectangle. Below along the bottom of the square there are three small rectangles shown in full, and two more is only partly shown, which could indicate that it is a window and that they are inside the store. On the stores sign the top line of text, with the name of the store, is obscured by the white sign. The name is just a bit longer than the white sign, and as the letters are a bit higher than in store two it can be deduced that it says "Kevin's".]
:White sign: All-you-can-eat
:Store sign: Pet Store

:[Caption below the frame:]
:My hobby: Going out at night and adding "all-you-can-eat" to every store's sign

==Trivia==
===Kevin===
*The name Kevin has been used twice before this comic and quite recently.
**That makes this comic the third with a Kevin in only 77 comics:
***In [[1719: Superzoom]], Kevin he worked in a shop that sold superzoom cameras.
***In [[1729: Migrating Geese]], Kevin was the different goose
***In [[1795: All You Can Eat]] (this one), Kevin has a pet shop, with his name in the shops name.
**In the previous 1718 comics there seems to have been no use of Kevin except when referring to real persons like:
***Actors [[1412: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|Kevin]] [[599: Apocalypse|Bacon]] or [[1555: Exoplanet Names 2|Costner]]
***[[1392: Dominant Players|Chess players]] Gariett and Durant.
**So maybe Kevin is Randall's new go to name when he just needs one!
***This has also been discussed in the Geese comic, see the last entry in the [[1729:_Migrating_Geese#Table of labels|table]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:My Hobby]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Food]]

926: Time Vulture

2016-10-16T03:00:54Z

Clubjustin4:

{{comic
| number = 926
| date = July 18, 2011
| title = Time Vulture
| image = time vulture.png
| titletext = In a way, all vultures are Time Vultures; some just have more patience than others.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is about the ''time vulture'' (hence the title), a fictional creature made up by [[Randall]]. [[Cueball]] notices that his Cueball-like friend is followed by a time vulture, making the exclamation '' Dude, you've got a time vulture.''

The primary food source for {{w|Vulture|vultures}} is carrion, or rotting meat. A time vulture, as explained by Cueball, is a type of vulture that can live for {{w|Millennium|millennia}}, spending very little energy and it can even slow down its internal clocks so time speeds past, a kind of forward time travel, to the point where its prey dies. In this way it can thus always wait long enough for the prey to die of natural causes no matter how long it takes, as seen from the preys point of view. So in principle they kill their prey by using aging, as Cueball explains, although in fact, like any vulture, they just find prey that has already (almost) died, as from their point of view every living thing is just about to die. But as other vultures they do not participate in the actual killing. Time vultures thus just need to locate and find any one living creature (of a reasonable size), then it becomes it’s prey as it then just waits until it dies, spending hardly any energy while it waits. Real {{w|List of soaring birds|soaring}} vultures can also stay afloat for considerable time spans without actually using any energy as they just {{w|Lift (soaring)|float}} on {{w|thermals}}.

Thus the time vulture will now keep soaring over Cueball’s friends head for the rest of his life, and then when he dies (whenever and of whichever cause) it will descend and feast on his carcass. This should in principle not make any difference to the friend, since most people in principle already lives with the knowledge, that they will eventually die and their body will end up being destroyed in one way or the other. Typically it will not be caused by vultures, but for instance by the fire of the {{w|Crematory}} or by the {{w|decomposition}} caused by small animals and germs in the earth we are buried in.

However, it is not very nice to be reminded of this every living second of the rest of your life thus the consternation of the friend and his question and statement; ''But what if the prey doesn't die?'' and ''I'm not about to die...''

The question doesn’t make sense since no living creature that we know of, that are large enough to matter as prey for a vulture, can survive through the several millennia that a time vulture can wait. Thus the prey will always die (as Cueball tries to explain).

And because the time vulture can slow down their internal clock, in its point of view, everyone who ever says "But, I'm not about to die", would say so right before they die; actually anything a person ever says after the time vulture has locked on to that person, happens just before they die as seen from the vulture's point of view. In humans point of view it could be many years after the statement was made, but for the time vulture, a human lifespan only last a mere moment.

It is thus really more of a philosophical comic about the fact that we all have death waiting for us, you could say it soars above our head and just wait for it to happen. And in relation to the {{w|deep time}} of the geology of the Earth or the expansion of the universe, the time it takes for people to live their lives is hardly worth mentioning...

In the title text it is stated that all real life vultures are actually a kind of time vultures, as real life vultures also sometimes spot a dying animal, not quite dead yet, and then wait for this prey to die. But time vultures are able to wait for millennia for their prey to die, whereas regular vultures do not have that kind of time, before they need to feed or land, thus the comment that some vultures have more patience than others.

Real vultures and their preying habits was referenced in [[1746: Making Friends]], directly in the title text.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is watching a large black bird, with apparently fractal wings, which hovers above his Cueball-like friend who walks towards Cueball and now turns to look at the bird over his shoulder.]
:Cueball: Dude, you've got a time vulture.
:Friend: Holy crap! What is it?

:[Zoom-in on Cueball who now looks at his friend who are now standing close to Cueball looking up at the bird off-panel.]
:Cueball: They're predators that use aging to kill prey.
:Friend: Huh? What do you mean?

:[The panel zooms in on the Cueball's face. The friends reply comes from off-panel.]
:Cueball: They live for millennia and use little energy. They can slow down their internal clocks so time speeds past. To hunt, they lock on to some prey, and when it stops moving, they eat it.
:Friend (off-panel): But what if the prey doesn't die?

:[Zoom out to Cueball and his friend that now look at each other.]
:Cueball: I don't think you quite understand.
:Friend: I mean, ''I'm'' not '''about''' to die...
:Cueball: From the vulture's viewpoint, everyone says that moments before they do.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]

1084: Server Problem

2016-10-05T10:30:36Z

Clubjustin4: RM redundant

{{comic
| number = 1084
| date = July 20, 2012
| title = Server Problem
| image = server_problem.png
| titletext = Protip: Annoy Ray Kurzweil by always referring to it as the 'Cybersingularity'.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has messed up his Linux server, apparently not for the first time. [[Megan]] offers to take a look at the PC, and she casually types in 'ls' — a very basic command that ''lists'' the files in the current directory. The computer returns a bizarre error message — it trips over one of the simplest commands, indicating that Cueball's system is messed up. ''Really'' messed up.

The {{w|Filesystem Hierarchy Standard#Directory structure|/usr/share}} path should indicate "architecture-independent shared data". Adobe is a software company that produces Acrobat, Flash and Photoshop. Android VM would be a virtual machine for Android. The .jar extension suggests a Java-language program. None of Adobe software, Android, or Java are needed to run 'ls'. All of the above have nothing to do with each other, with the exception that Android applications (but not core command line utilities, like ls) are written in Java. Also, basic system executables like 'ls' would never be placed within /usr/share or within some 'example' or 'doc' directory. On Linux, executables don't have filename extensions like ".exe" or ".jar". Additionally, it would require the folder to be within {{w|PATH (variable)|$PATH}}. In other words, the error message implies that the server is in a very bad state.

In the last frame Megan is bewildered by this result and asks ''what did you do''. Cueball suggest a course of action which mimics a common error message: "______ is busy, please try again later." Obviously he has seen this type of message frequently enough to try it as a general cure in all similar cases.

Megan then tells Cueball to "shut down the system and wait for the {{w|technological singularity|singularity}}," referring to a hypothetical future event when superintelligence can be artificially created. Since future superintelligent humans/computers transcend our comprehension, we can't predict or even understand what will happen after the singularity. One interpretation is that Megan is telling Cueball that his system is such a mess that it will take a post-singularity superintelligence to fix it (or run it in its current state, as only an intelligence beyond present comprehension would be capable of doing). It also indicates that [[1668: Singularity]] could be the sequel to this comic.

The title text is yet another [[:Category:Protip|protip]] from [[Randall]]. {{w|Ray Kurzweil}} is an author and futurist who has {{w|Singularity Summit|talked}} and {{w|The Singularity Is Near|written}} much about a ''{{w|technological singularity}}''. Presumably, mangling the jargon (by confusing the concept of the "singularity" with the science fiction term "{{w|cyberspace}}") is something Kurzweil (as an expert) would find annoying. Also, as Randall later pointed out in [[1573: Cyberintelligence]], the word has not really been used for a decade...

==Transcript==
:[Cueball at his computer calls out for Megan who comes walking in to the frame.]
:Cueball: I, um, messed up my server again.
:Megan: I'll take a look. You have the ''weirdest'' tech problems

:[Zoom in on only Megan who uses the root prompt on the computer.]
:<code>~# ls</code>

:[Megan stands next to the computer, Cueball sits behind her on his chair. The computer returns the following:]
:<code>/usr/share/Adobe/doc/example/android_vm/root/sbin/ls.jar:</code>
:<code>Error: Device is not responding.</code>

:[Megan turns towards Cueball who lifts his hands with palm up.]
:Megan: What did you ''do!?''
:Cueball: Maybe the device is busy. Should I try it later?
:Megan: You should shut down this system and wait for the Singularity.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:Protip]]

533: Laptop Hell

2016-09-26T10:44:07Z

Clubjustin4:

{{comic
| number = 533
| date = January 21, 2009
| title = Laptop Hell
| image = laptop hell.png
| titletext = The xkcd.com sysadmin has a Q2010, and I can attest that it can handle a fall down several flights of concrete steps. Relatedly, he's upset with me - I hope he doesn't take revenge by messing with my site's contenDISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS
}}

==Explanation==
The Devil {{w|Mephistopheles}} (named so in the [http://xkcd.com/533/info.0.json official transcript]) is greeting the new souls sentenced to {{w|Hell}}, and recognizes an executive from {{w|Fujitsu|Fujitsu Ltd}} in the form of [[Hairbun]]. Mephistopheles accuses her of causing his favorite laptop, the Fujitsu Q2010, to be taken out of production. Mephistopheles is displeased because he thought it was a good laptop, just poorly marketed by Hairbun. Hairbun is confused and asks Mephistopheles why he is upset, as acts of evil are generally encouraged by the demons of Hell. Mephistopheles agrees but explains that Hell also needs good laptops, and in her case their need for laptops was greater than the need for her evil works. Though, Mephistopheles then goes on to confesses, that it would not really have mattered as Hell has an exclusive deal with Fujitsu competitor, {{w|Sony}}, and he could not have bought the Fujitsu Q2010 anyway.

This would explain why the sale of the laptop failed, and Hairbun also exclaims ''I knew it'' to indicate that she had suspected it was weird that Sony did so well. When you strike a deal with a devil from Hell your affairs in life goes great, but of course you have then sold your soul to eternal damnation in Hell when you eventually die. Seems like Sony has done so according to this comic.

This comic is likely a wish fulfillment fantasy by [[Randall]] for the canceling of his favorite laptop, the Fujitsu Q2010. Exclusivity deals are typically thought ill of as they are bad for competition. Also since exclusivity deals solely benefit the provider, there are often reciprocal arrangement for the purchaser. This implies that the devil has influence at Sony. Likely Sony was chosen as the electronic distributor to hell because of the {{w|Sony BMG copy protection rootkit scandal|Sony rootkit scandal}}. This scandal inspired many to call Sony an evil company.

It is the second time in a short while that a demon was depicted in a similar fashion although without the trident and not in Hell. This devil was also named Mephistopheles in the caption of that comic [[501: Faust 2.0]].

The title text explains that Randall's systems administrator is upset with him because he tested the systems administrators laptop by throwing it down several flights of steps. The systems admin is implied to have taken revenge childishly, by replacing part of the text with "DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS"

The "suck cocks" part is a reference to [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/disregard-that-i-suck-cocks a post] in bash.org which went on to attain moderate fame.

==Transcript==
:[A devil, Mephistopheles (according to the [http://xkcd.com/533/info.0.json official transcript]), with bald head horns, tail with arrow ending, a trident in one hand and a paper in the other hand is ready to welcome Hairbun to hell. Above Mephistopheles there are three large stalactite hanging down and behind Hairbun there is one very large stalagmite and three small and also two small stalactites.]
:Mephistopheles: Welcome to Hell. Here's—
:Mephistopheles:Wait. I know you.

:[Zoom in on the two, with white background. Mephistopheles trident breaks the panels frame.]
:Mephistopheles: You're the Fujitsu exec who killed the Q-series.
:Hairbun: ...Yes?
:Mephistopheles: The Q2010 was the perfect laptop!

:[In this frame-less panel with white background Mephistopheles walks away from Hairbun trident pointing up and left. Hairbun throws her arms out to the side.]
:Mephistopheles: Powerful, durable, had every feature, and made the Air look bulky. And that was back in 2006!
:Hairbun: But no one bought it!
:Mephistopheles: Then you marketed it wrong!

:[Mephistopheles turns around towards Hairbun who both standing as in the first panel but still with white background.]
:Hairbun: Wait. Don't you ''encourage'' evil acts down here?
:Mephistopheles: In theory, yes, but we need laptops too!
:Mephistopheles: Although it's moot, since we have an exclusive deal with Sony.
:Hairbun: I ''knew'' it!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Religion]]

533: Laptop Hell

2016-09-26T10:42:13Z

Clubjustin4:

{{comic
| number = 533
| date = January 21, 2009
| title = Laptop Hell
| image = laptop hell.png
| titletext = The xkcd.com sysadmin has a Q2010, and I can attest that it can handle a fall down several flights of concrete steps. Relatedly, he's upset with me - I hope he doesn't take revenge by messing with my site's contenDISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS
}}

==Explanation==
The Devil {{w|Mephistopheles}} (named so in the [http://xkcd.com/533/info.0.json official transcript]) is greeting the new souls sentenced to {{w|Hell}}, and recognizes an executive from {{w|Fujitsu|Fujitsu Ltd}} in the form of [[Hairbun]]. Mephistopheles accuses her of causing his favorite laptop, the Fujitsu Q2010, to be taken out of production. Mephistopheles is displeased because he thought it was a good laptop, just poorly marketed by Hairbun. Hairbun is confused and asks Mephistopheles why he is upset, as acts of evil are generally encouraged by the demons of Hell. Mephistopheles agrees but explains that Hell also needs good laptops, and in her case their need for laptops was greater than the need for her evil works. Though, Mephistopheles then goes on to confesses, that it would not really have mattered as Hell has an exclusive deal with Fujitsu competitor, {{w|Sony}}, and he could not have bought the Fujitsu Q2010 anyway.

This would explain why the sale of the laptop failed, and Hairbun also exclaims ''I knew it'' to indicate that she had suspected it was weird that Sony did so well. When you strike a deal with a devil from Hell your affairs in life goes great, but of course you have then sold your soul to eternal damnation in Hell when you eventually dies. Seems like Sony has done so according to this comic.

This comic is likely a wish fulfillment fantasy by [[Randall]] for the canceling of his favorite laptop, the Fujitsu Q2010. Exclusivity deals are typically thought ill of as they are bad for competition. Also since exclusivity deals solely benefit the provider, there are often reciprocal arrangement for the purchaser. This implies that the devil has influence at Sony. Likely Sony was chosen as the electronic distributor to hell because of the {{w|Sony BMG copy protection rootkit scandal|Sony rootkit scandal}}. This scandal inspired many to call Sony an evil company.

It is the second time in a short while that a demon was depicted in a similar fashion although without the trident and not in Hell. This devil was also named Mephistopheles in the caption of that comic [[501: Faust 2.0]].

The title text explains that Randall's systems administrator is upset with him because he tested the systems administrators laptop by throwing it down several flights of steps. The systems admin is implied to have taken revenge childishly, by replacing part of the text with "DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS"

The "suck cocks" part is a reference to [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/disregard-that-i-suck-cocks a post] in bash.org which went on to attain moderate fame.

==Transcript==
:[A devil, Mephistopheles (according to the [http://xkcd.com/533/info.0.json official transcript]), with bald head horns, tail with arrow ending, a trident in one hand and a paper in the other hand is ready to welcome Hairbun to hell. Above Mephistopheles there are three large stalactite hanging down and behind Hairbun there is one very large stalagmite and three small and also two small stalactites.]
:Mephistopheles: Welcome to Hell. Here's—
:Mephistopheles:Wait. I know you.

:[Zoom in on the two, with white background. Mephistopheles trident breaks the panels frame.]
:Mephistopheles: You're the Fujitsu exec who killed the Q-series.
:Hairbun: ...Yes?
:Mephistopheles: The Q2010 was the perfect laptop!

:[In this frame-less panel with white background Mephistopheles walks away from Hairbun trident pointing up and left. Hairbun throws her arms out to the side.]
:Mephistopheles: Powerful, durable, had every feature, and made the Air look bulky. And that was back in 2006!
:Hairbun: But no one bought it!
:Mephistopheles: Then you marketed it wrong!

:[Mephistopheles turns around towards Hairbun who both standing as in the first panel but still with white background.]
:Hairbun: Wait. Don't you ''encourage'' evil acts down here?
:Mephistopheles: In theory, yes, but we need laptops too!
:Mephistopheles: Although it's moot, since we have an exclusive deal with Sony.
:Hairbun: I ''knew'' it!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Religion]]

1141: Two Years

2015-05-30T06:11:18Z

Clubjustin4: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1141
| date = November 30, 2012
| title = Two Years
| image = two years.png
| titletext = She won the first half of all our chemo Scrabble games, but then her IV drugs started kicking in and I *dominated*.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic marks the second year of [[Randall Munroe]]'s wife's battle with cancer, and appears to depict actual events from those two years. Randall is depicted as usually like [[Cueball]] and his wife like [[Megan]]

Some explanations:
*Panel 1: Randall's wife-to-be (at that point) receives a diagnosis over the phone (from Dr. [[Ponytail]]) as Randall sits by her side supportively. His wife has Megan long hair at this time.
*Panel 2: Undergoing IV (intravenous) {{w|chemotherapy}}. Because of the hair loss that results from chemotherapy, many patients opt to shave their heads when they undergo chemotherapy. As can be seen from the stubble she did not shave her hair, but has lost almost all of it. Only the hair coming back between chemo sessions is the cause of the stubble. Her hair grows back over the course of the panels following the end of her chemo (from panel 7).
*Panel 3: The two of them spending time alone together - experiencing things that may be the last chance for her This happens again in panel 8. In this panel she wears a knit cap because it is cold - see panel 6.
*Panel 4: The couple are waiting for the results of a scan. A phone is on the middle of the table that they are waiting to ring. She is very impatient and anxious.
*Panel 5: More chemotherapy. The couple are playing {{w|Scrabble}}, in which players use letter tiles to spell words in a cross-word style. She uses the fact that she has cancer (by saying '''caaaancer''' as if that was a real word) as leverage to get Randall to ignore the fact that the word she has played ('''zarg''') is not a real word.
*Panel 6: Someone suggests they come for a visit next year, but all they can think about are the words "next year", indicating that they know the future is very much in doubt. In this panel she wears a knit cap to hide her missing hair.
*Panel 7: They get married. Her hair has now grown back so far that she has stopped using her knit cap. That means her chemo treatment is finished.
*Panel 8: The couple watching {{w|humpback whales}}, possibly on their {{w|honeymoon}}. In this panel she again wears the knit cap, probably because it is cold or because she is weak.
*Panel 9: Randall is paraphrasing a line from the song "{{w|Still Alive}}" (watch the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_S0PGu-cH4 video]) from the video game ''{{w|Portal}}'' (''"I'm doing science and I'm still alive"''). He does this because his wife is again back at her laptop working.
*Panel 10: The two of them sit under a tree reflecting on the significance of the past two years.
*Panel 11: Randall and his wife have dinner to celebrate the fact that she has made it two years since her {{w|biopsy}}. This becomes somewhat awkward for [[Hairy]] the waiter since he asked if it was an anniversary.
*The title text is referring to a possible {{w|Chemotherapy#Neurological adverse effects|side-effect of chemotherapy drugs}}, the inability to concentrate. It could also just be the fact that the chemo can make you feel just terrible. When whatever effect kicks in, she loses the rest of their Scrabble games for that day. However, as we see in panel 5, there is a reason why she wins ''all'' of the first half of their games. But this is not enough, or she even forgets to play on the cancer, when the drugs takes effect.

==Transcript==
:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit on a bed, Randall's fiancée is talking on the phone. The person she is talking to, a doctor holding a clipboard, is shown inset.]
:Randall's fiancée: Oh god.

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit together while Randall's fiancée, now bald, is receiving chemotherapy. They are both on their laptops.]
:IV pump: ... Beeep ... Beeep ... Beeep ...

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée (who is wearing a knit cap) are paddling a kayak against a scenic mountain backdrop.]

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit at a table, staring at a cell phone. There is a clock on the wall. Her head is stubbly.]
:Randall's fiancée: How long can it take to read a scan!?

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée are back at the hospital again, Randall's fiancée receiving chemo. They are playing Scrabble.]
:Randall: "Zarg" isn't a word.
:Randall's fiancée: But ''caaaancer.''
:Randall: ...Ok, fine.

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée (wearing a knit cap) are listening to a Cueball-like friend. A large thought bubble is above their heads and it obscures the friends talk. The text below, split in three is the only part there can be no doubt about:]
:Friend: So next year you should come visit us in the mounta
::a
::and
:Randall and Randall's fiancée (thinking): '''"Next year"'''

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée are getting married, with a heart above their heads. Randall's wife's hair is growing back.]

:[Randall and Randall's wife (wearing a knit cap) stand on a beach, watching a whale jump out of water.]
:''Fwoosh''

:[Randall's wife is sitting at a desk with her laptop standing on top of two books. Her hair has grown back a little more. Randall stands behind her.]
:Randall: Hey— you're doing science, and you're still alive.
:Randall's wife: Yeah!

:[Randall and Randall's wife sit under a tall tree on a hill.]
:Randall: It's really only been two years?
:Randall's wife: They were big years.

:[Randall and Randall's wife sit at a table in a fancy restaurant. Her hair has grown back even more. The waiter (Hairy) brings them a dish with a cover on it.]
:Waiter: Happy... Anniversary?
:Randall's wife: Biopsy-versary!
:Waiter: ...Eww.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Video games]]

1141: Two Years

2015-05-30T06:09:32Z

Clubjustin4: /* Explanation */ bee to be

{{comic
| number = 1141
| date = November 30, 2012
| title = Two Years
| image = two years.png
| titletext = She won the first half of all our chemo Scrabble games, but then her IV drugs started kicking in and I *dominated*.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic marks the second year of [[Randall Munroe]]'s wife's battle with cancer, and appears to depict actual events from those two years. Randall is depicted as usually like [[Cueball]] and his wife like [[Megan]]

Some explanations:
*Panel 1: Randall's wife-to-be (at that point) receives a diagnosis over the phone (from Dr. [[Ponytail]]) as Randall sits by her side supportively. His wife has Megan long hair at this time.
*Panel 2: Undergoing IV (intravenous) {{w|chemotherapy}}. Because of the hair loss that results from chemotherapy, many patients opt to shave their heads when they undergo chemotherapy. As can be seen from the stubble she did not shave her hair, but has lost almost all of it. Only the hair coming back between chemo sessions is the cause of the stubble. Her hair grows back over the course of the panels following the end of her chemo (from panel 7).
*Panel 3: The two of them spending time alone together - experiencing things that may be the last chance for her This happens again in panel 8. In this panel she wears a knit cap because it is cold - see panel 6.
*Panel 4: The couple are waiting for the results of a scan. A phone is on the middle of the table that they are waiting to ring. She is very impatient and anxious.
*Panel 5: More chemotherapy. The couple are playing {{w|Scrabble}}, in which players use letter tiles to spell words in a cross-word style. She uses the fact that she has cancer (by saying '''caaaancer''' as if that was a real word) as leverage to get Randall to ignore the fact that the word she has played ('''zarg''') is not a real word.
*Panel 6: Someone suggests they come for a visit next year, but all they can think about are the words "next year", indicating that they know the future is very much in doubt. In this panel she wears a knit cap to hide her missing hair.
*Panel 7: They get married. Her hair has now grown back so far that she has stopped using her knit cap. That means her chemo treatment is finished.
*Panel 8: The couple watching {{w|humpback whales}}, possibly on their {{w|honeymoon}}. In this panel she again wears the knit cap, probably because it is cold or because she is weak.
*Panel 9: Randall is paraphrasing a line from the song "{{w|Still Alive}}" (watch the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_S0PGu-cH4 video]) from the video game ''{{w|Portal}}'' (''"I'm doing science and I'm still alive"''). He does this because his wife is again back at her laptop working.
*Panel 10: The two of them sit under a tree reflecting on the significance of the past two years.
*Panel 11: Randall and his wife have dinner to celebrate the fact that she has made it two years since her {{w|biopsy}}. This becomes somewhat awkward for [[Hairy]] the waiter since he asked if it was an anniversary.
*The title text is referring to a possible {{w|Chemotherapy#Neurological adverse effects|side-effect of chemotherapy drugs}}, the inability to concentrate. It could also just be the fact that the chemo can make you feel just terrible. When whatever effect kicks in, she looses the rest of their Scrabble games for that day. However, as we see in panel 5, there is a reason why she wins ''all'' of the first half of their games. But this is not enough, or she even forgets to play on the cancer, when the drugs takes effect.

==Transcript==
:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit on a bed, Randall's fiancée is talking on the phone. The person she is talking to, a doctor holding a clipboard, is shown inset.]
:Randall's fiancée: Oh god.

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit together while Randall's fiancée, now bald, is receiving chemotherapy. They are both on their laptops.]
:IV pump: ... Beeep ... Beeep ... Beeep ...

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée (who is wearing a knit cap) are paddling a kayak against a scenic mountain backdrop.]

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit at a table, staring at a cell phone. There is a clock on the wall. Her head is stubbly.]
:Randall's fiancée: How long can it take to read a scan!?

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée are back at the hospital again, Randall's fiancée receiving chemo. They are playing Scrabble.]
:Randall: "Zarg" isn't a word.
:Randall's fiancée: But ''caaaancer.''
:Randall: ...Ok, fine.

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée (wearing a knit cap) are listening to a Cueball-like friend. A large thought bubble is above their heads and it obscures the friends talk. The text below, split in three is the only part there can be no doubt about:]
:Friend: So next year you should come visit us in the mounta
::a
::and
:Randall and Randall's fiancée (thinking): '''"Next year"'''

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée are getting married, with a heart above their heads. Randall's wife's hair is growing back.]

:[Randall and Randall's wife (wearing a knit cap) stand on a beach, watching a whale jump out of water.]
:''Fwoosh''

:[Randall's wife is sitting at a desk with her laptop standing on top of two books. Her hair has grown back a little more. Randall stands behind her.]
:Randall: Hey— you're doing science, and you're still alive.
:Randall's wife: Yeah!

:[Randall and Randall's wife sit under a tall tree on a hill.]
:Randall: It's really only been two years?
:Randall's wife: They were big years.

:[Randall and Randall's wife sit at a table in a fancy restaurant. Her hair has grown back even more. The waiter (Hairy) brings them a dish with a cover on it.]
:Waiter: Happy... Anniversary?
:Randall's wife: Biopsy-versary!
:Waiter: ...Eww.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Video games]]

223: Valentine's Day

2015-05-02T04:00:39Z

Clubjustin4:

{{comic
|number = 223
| date = February 14, 2007
| title = Valentine's Day
| image = valentines_day.jpg
| titletext = One of these days me and Joey Comeau will get around to subverting the hetero-normative paradigm and fixing all this.
}}

{{Incomplete|References to other previous comics and citations?}}
==Explanation==
As mentioned in the comic, love is already pretty complicated, even more so on {{w|Valentine's Day}}. Valentine's Day makes it more complicated by introducing all kinds of questions. Is our relationship such that it should be acknowledged on Valentine's Day? If so, how? If by a card, what kind of card would be best? If by something more than a card, what? Candy? Flowers? A Date? What does the Valentine I received really mean? Friendship? Love? A covert request for sex? (see [[63: Valentine - Heart]]). As an example of the kinds of dilemmas that can arise, see also [[1016: Valentine Dilemma]].

The phrase "Because love isn't quite complicated enough as it is." is an obvious use of sarcasm, as love is really complicated, according to Randall ([[#Explanation|see above]]).

Referenced in the title text, {{w|Joey Comeau}} is the author of the webcomic [http://www.asofterworld.com/ A Softer World]. It is a queer comic whose work also discusses love in various forms, so between them [[Randall Munroe]] and he are a good team to consider working on "subverting the hetero-normative paradigm". {{w|Heteronormativity}} is the body of lifestyle norms holding that people fall into two distinct genders with natural and complementary roles in life. Whether or not anything that cartoons can do would fix the Valentine's Day problem is another issue. Among other things, ditching the hetero-normative paradigm presumably complicates things in terms of potential love relationships, which now include more possibilities than male-female, as is shown in [[216: Romantic Drama Equation]]. All of these might face the Valentine's Day issues in various ways.

==Transcript==
:Valentine's Day
:[There is a large, shaded, red heart.]
:Because love isn't quite complicated enough as it is.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Valentines]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]

690: Semicontrolled Demolition

2015-04-14T08:11:07Z

Clubjustin4:

{{comic
| number = 690
| date = January 18, 2010
| title = Semicontrolled Demolition
| image = semicontrolled demolition.png
| titletext = I believe the truth always lies halfway between the most extreme claims.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|World Trade Center}} towers were destroyed on September 11, 2001 (9/11 in American date notation). The planned attack was for two planes to collide with the north and south towers simultaneously, but what ended up happening was that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g6V8KZE3GA&t=35s plane 1 hit the north tower at 8:46 am], and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KYE4zViAAg&t=11m44s the second plane hit the south tower a little less than 20 minutes later]. In the ensuing investigation many people raised questions that didn't seem to get a satisfactory answer for several months, if not years. Many people, who called themselves {{w|9/11 Truthers}}, began to claim that the whole thing was a government conspiracy, in what has come to be known as the "controlled demolition plot" (referenced by the title of this comic), which alleges that the towers were brought down not by the fires caused by the planes but by demolition charges intentionally placed there by the government.

[[Randall]] proposes a compromise to make both those who believe in the conspiracy and those who aren't happy. Since there is only a government related video of a plane flying into the north tower — done by a man who was with {{w|FDNY}} fire fighters — that was a government conspiracy. But it just so happened that the government decided to demolish the north tower on the same day that terrorists decided to demolish the south tower.

The title text is a restatement of the {{w|Argument_to_moderation|Golden Mean fallacy}}: that the truth can be found in a compromise between two opposite positions. In this comic, one of the positions is a fanciful conspiracy theory and the other is a sober fact-based conclusion. The error of this fallacy is apparent here, as it can lead to even more ridiculous conclusions. In this case, the compromise theory would make no one happy because both sides would have to concede claims which they have already dismissed as bogus, as well as accept an incredibly unlikely coincidence.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding up a pointer to a screen with an image of the World Trade Center towers mid-disaster.]
:Cueball: Based on my analysis, I believe the government faked the plane crash and demolished the WTC north tower with explosives.
:Cueball: The south tower, in a simultaneous but unrelated plot, was brought down by actual terrorists.

:The 9/11 truthers responded poorly to my compromise theory.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Public speaking]]
[[Category:Compromise]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]