explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2570: Captain Picard Tea Order

2022-01-21T13:16:05Z

Despairbear: fossilized

{{comic
| number = 2570
| date = January 19, 2022
| title = Captain Picard Tea Order
| image = captain_picard_tea_order.png
| titletext = We can ask the Earl for his order once he's fully extruded from the dispenser.
}}
*This was the fifth comic to come out after the [[Countdown in header text]] started.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A VERY ATTRACTIVE BUT NEWLY FORMED 19th CENTURY BRITISH PRIME MINISTER- Please change this comment when editing this page. There would be way too many additional [[285: Wikipedian Protester|citations needed]] for it to work here. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Captain {{w|Jean-Luc Picard}} is a primary character in the science fiction TV series ''{{w|Star Trek: The Next Generation}}'', which is focused on the crew of a starship. The ship is equipped with {{w|Replicator (Star Trek)|replicators}}, which can create virtually any object or material requested, including food and drink, and which respond to verbal commands.

In the show, Picard's beverage of choice is {{w|Earl Grey tea}}. His habitual method for ordering is to first specify what he wants (tea, in this case), then specify a particular type (Earl Grey), and then give specific instructions for how it is to be served (hot, as opposed to {{w|iced tea}}). Because this is his favored drink, he repeatedly places the exact order "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaAT6-dY1QI Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.]" The first picture in the strip implies that the display shows each part of the order, and provides a list of options for the next step.

This could be a nod to the tea server in Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy which serves a beverage that is “something almost, but not quite entirely unlike tea”.

[[Randall]] parodies this repeated order by suggesting [[#Other Words|other words]] that could follow "Tea. Earl Grey.", starting from ones considered "normal" moving to those presumed increasingly "less normal" down a long and winding arrow.

The results of two examples from the normal/less-normal scale are also illustrated: Sticky tea and loud tea. Sticky is kind of obvious, though perhaps not immediately understandable, the loud version is a tea that screams "Teeee..." The vibrating and screeching teacup may be a reference to the various ''Star Trek'' episodes about {{w|tribble}}s, which behave in a similar way in the presence of Klingons.

The very last qualifying addition, the least normal is not a single word but "Tea for him, too." This reinterprets the meaning of the standard introductory words, suggesting that "tea", and "Earl Grey" are separate orders, which implies that he wants the replicator to produce tea, then replicate a human being named Earl Grey (either one of the {{w|Earl Grey|Earls Grey}} or a person surnamed Grey with the given name of Earl), then a second tea to serve to this newly created person. {{w|Earl Grey tea}} is named after the {{w|Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey}}, a 19th century British Prime Minister, and Captain Picard possibly wishes to have said Earl be generated to provide him with company.

In contrast to the often trivial use of a replicator as merely a potentially infinitely versatile vending machine, the comic sets up a number of quite esoteric options, culminating in Earl Gray himself potentially drinking (generic) tea, after both the tea and he have been replicated into existence by Picard.

In the title text, someone tells Picard that they should wait until the Earl has been fully extruded from the dispenser, and ''then'' ascertain what he would actually wish to drink. The presumption is that it could take some time to get a full living person out of the replicator.

In the various versions of ''{{w|Star Trek}}'', it's established that {{w|Replicator_(Star_Trek)#Origins_and_limitations|replicators aren't capable of producing living things}}, so this version of the order would not be canonically possible.

===Other Words===
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=1 class="wikitable"
! Word !! Explanation
|-
| Hot
| A fairly normal word to be used when ordering tea. Although that it even needs specifying is itself a clue that other variations (such as "Iced", below) are available. This is the chosen word of the five visible words Picard is potentially presented with in the first drawing. The act of requesting this is thus illustrated, though not of the appearance of the tea itself.
|-
| Iced
| {{w|Iced Tea}} is a 'normal' variation of tea.
|-
| Decaf
| Traditional teas (from {{w|Camellia sinensis}}) tend to have caffeine in them. Asking for {{w|Decaffeination|decaffeinated}} tea is not particularly uncommon if the drinker requires it. In the series ''Picard'', set several decades after ''The Next Generation'', Picard does actually order "Tea, Earl Grey, decaf" in [https://tvline.com/2020/01/26/star-trek-picard-premiere-easter-eggs-earl-grey-decaf/ one scene].
|-
| Good
| A normal, subjective term. Most people drinking tea would want it to be good, but to specify it like this would perhaps be strange. This is one of the words in the first drawing, as a listed alternative to Hot.
|-
| Lukewarm
| While this is a temperature that tea can be at, most people (including Picard) do not want their teas to be lukewarm.
|-
| Tasty
| Similar to good, most people would want their tea to be tasty, or at least flavorsome.
|-
| Boiled
| Boiling the water used to make the tea is a common and normal way to increase the flavor and nutrients extracted from the tea leaves, though it is suggested that the actual ideal temperature of hot water is 75-98°C (167-210°F), according to whether it is a light tea or a dark one, and that perhaps it should be sipped at around 65°C/150°F-ish if desired 'hot'.
Having made a tea and ''then'' bringing it back to the boil (especially after adding milk/etc.) may destroy some of the desirable qualities previously imbued.
|-
| Watery
| Tea is a drink that often involves water, but this perhaps suggests over dilution or under infusion in some way.
|-
| Sour
| Many people do not enjoy a sour taste, which can accompany rot and is a strange thing to specify when ordering Earl Grey tea. Although lemon juice is often an additive used in the same way (but as a complete alternative) to milk.
|-
| Meaty
| Most teas are plant-based. While teas such as {{w|Beef tea|Beef Tea}} do exist they are more generally regarded as either a soup or a medicine. Furthermore, this kind of tea would be unlikely to be Earl Grey, making this statement less normal.
|-
| Solid
| Tea is usually drunk as a liquid. It would be strange to ask for solid tea, unless there was a situation where it could be rehydrated later.
|-
| Dry
| Tea is a liquid typically made with water and may have milk. A dry version might be either unmade (e.g. tea leaves in their un-infused form) or freeze-dried back into a dehydrated form.
"Dry" can also be used to describe {{w|Dryness (taste)|a "mouth feel"}} in a [https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2f1gxx/eli5_how_can_a_drink_taste_dry/ variety of drinks] ''or'' {{w|Prohibition|enforced alcohol-free scenarios}}. For the latter option, it can assume a default serving with an {{w|Hot_toddy#Variations|alcoholic component}}, or an entirely {{w|Long Island iced tea|alternate basis}} for the beverage, which the request needs to be specify it is not.
This is one of the five words Picard was seen presented with in the first drawing.
|-
| Raw
| This describes tea that has not been "cooked", so it would just be tea made with room-temperature water. This is {{w|Iced_tea#Sun_tea|possible}} but generally takes many hours.
|-
| Deep-fried
| Tea is not usually deep-fried. But you'll probably {{w|Deep-fried Mars bar|find someone}} who has tried it, [https://www.pitco.com/blog/deep-fried-liquids-trend one way or another].
|-
| Sticky
| Perhaps significantly dehydrated, or thickened with enough of a hydrophilic substance, this would produce something very unlike most teas that would usually be requested. For example, the addition of significant amounts of sugar may lead to a more viscous brew.
This scenario is illustrated to show a clearly messy product that awkwardly sticks to and drips from the replicator as well as Picard.
|-
| Grilled
| Tea is not usually grilled.
|-
| Fossilized
| Since tea is a liquid, it would be tricky to figure out how to fossilize it; and once fossilized, the tea would then be difficult to drink.
|-
| Magnetic
| Tea is not magnetic. Magnetic metals would have to be added to the tea, which would not be pleasant to drink. However, this would not be the {{w|Irn-Bru|first drink}} to be supplemented with iron.
|-
| Ballistic
| Usually, the replicated beverage is deposited in a stationary cup, but Picard could ask for it to be dropped or thrown out instead.
|-
| Unstable
| This word is often used to refer to radioactive or explosive materials, which hopefully is not a property that would apply to something meant to be ingested. Alternatively, this could imply that the receptacle into which the tea is delivered should be unstable - being unbalanced, or lacking a flat bottom. This is likely to lead to the tea being spilled.
|-
| Blessed
| Tea is a beverage, and it may be strange to ask a machine to create 'blessed' tea. However, if the machine were to use holy water, already blessed by a human, it is [https://www.quora.com/When-does-Holy-water-lose-its-Holiness-If-its-boiled-is-the-resulting-water-vapor-still-considered-Holy-Does-it-lose-its-Holy-property-when-it-transfers-into-a-gas-Is-it-still-Holy-when-it%E2%80%99s-frozen#:~:text=In%20other%20words%2C%20as%20long,else%2C%20it%20remains%20holy%20water.&text=a%20simple%20change-,Never.,He%20is%20faithful possible] for it to remain "blessed" after the water is used to make tea. It is also possible that this is a reference to tea which could be used in [http://www.archbishoplefebvre.com/blog/baptism-can-i-use-any-liquid baptism].
In role-playing games, items can be Blessed, i.e. having greater positive or lesser negative effects. This includes potions, a class of drinks that do not usually include any teas but could contain the "potion of water", which may also, therefore, be the basis of this blessed brew.
|-
| Blurry
| Being blurry is not a normal state for tea to have. Cloudy, on the other hand, is quite normal for certain brews.
|-
| Loud
| While molecules in tea (especially hot tea, and vitally so in an {{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (novel)|Infinite Improbability Drive}}) do move vigorously, this does not usually result in distinct audible effects.
However, as illustrated, it seems the requested cup of tea is produced capable of emitting a high-pitched, high-volume whining sound that entirely dominates the vicinity. It actually appears to somewhat vocalize what it is, Teeeee...
|-
| Virtual
| Virtual tea cannot be produced physically, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange. However, it might be useful on the holodeck, a device that can produce a virtual environment able to be interacted with.
|-
| Intravenous
| This means the tea would be injected directly into the customer's veins, likely a very painful experience if the tea comes out boiling. Instrument of choice would probably be a {{w|Infuser|''tea infuser''}}.
|-
| Expanding
| In a sense, most hot tea is expanding: as the water in the tea evaporates, it becomes much less dense, increasing in "size".
But most people would probably argue that the evaporated water is no longer part of the tea. Water, like most materials, usually expands as it increases in temperature—except between freezing and about 4° C, where it has the unusual property of {{w|Water_%28molecule%29#Density_of_water_and_ice|''contracting slightly''}} as temperature increases. If tea behaves similarly despite the extra dissolved compounds, then "expanding tea" would describe any tea between 4° C and boiling point. Possibly beyond, and explosively so, if {{w|Superheating|superheated}} and then nucleating points are introduced.
On the other hand, this tea may simply be tea spilled on the floor, which could then spread out as it evaporated.
|-
| Ironic
| How tea could be ironic will be a mystery if your culture has no understanding of irony. The irony of the most celebrated Frenchman in science fiction history delighting in a very British beverage is a nice touch of cosmopolitanism.
|-
| Segmented
| Tea is usually served in a cup. It tends to stick together and form one liquid. Separating the tea into segments would not be possible without some form of an emulsifying gel.
|-
| Verbose
| This describes using lots of words and language, and would not likely be used for tea, because it cannot speak. Command-line computer programs often run in a 'silent' mode without displaying every step of what happens on the screen. Such programs may have a {{w|Verbose mode|''-verbose'' parameter}} that disables the silent mode. As the replicator is run by a computer, the verbose parameter could be applied to the process of tea-making, with the replicator providing an info-dump on the molecular arrangement of the tea, together with the cup of liquid.
|-
| Cursed
| As with "Blessed", above, items can be Cursed in role-playing games, i.e. having greater negative or lesser positive effects; while there are strategic uses for Cursed items, generally the player would prefer uncursed ones (neutral or blessed). Amongst the curseable items are potions, a class of consumables that do not usually include any teas but does contain the "potion of water", which may therefore be the cause of this cursed cuppa.
Cursed items have featured in xkcd previously: [[2332: Cursed Chair]], [[2376: Curbside]], and [[:Category:Cursed Connectors]].

"Cursed items" are more vaguely defined in real life, making "cursed tea" something rare. However, it is possible for a drink to be [https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-know-if-my-drink-had-a-witchs-hex-potion hexed].
|-
| Unexpected
| By definition, Picard is asking for tea, expecting it promptly. Perhaps the request for it to be "unexpected" would cause it to be delivered at an unknown time in the future, or to have some alteration.
|-
| Bipedal
| Bipedal organisms have two feet. As tea does not walk, this would be a very strange term to use when describing tea.
|-
| Afraid
| Tea does not have feelings. Although water {{w|Water memory|may remember things}} (at least pseudo-scientifically) or [https://www.quotes.net/mquote/901305 consider some things to be unpleasant].
|-
| Infinite
| The scope of this request is unclear. It could mean endless production (a steady stream of tea, without obvious limits so long as servicing the request remains practical), an instantaneous production of an infinite volume of tea (possibly more immediately shown to be flawed in its method of execution), or tea which will exceed the heat death of the universe. Either could result in an infinitely ''dense'' tea (eventually?), but this may no longer be {{w|No-hair theorem|identifiable as tea}} so might be one of the less practical options, even amongst those on this list.
Indeed, Randall ranks it as the least 'normal', except for just ''one'' further named order.
|-
| Tea for him, too
| {{w|Earl Grey tea|Earl Grey}} is a tea blend. In Star Trek, Jean-Luc Picard often offers tea to other people, so it is unclear why this would be the least normal.
Taken along with the title text, this Replicator order is for "Tea" (not otherwise qualified), a replicated version ''of'' the Earl Grey (one or other of those {{w|Earl Grey|of that name}}, possibly the {{w|Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey|2<sup>nd</sup> Earl}} for whom the tea blend was supposedly named) and a second such beverage for him to later drink. See more in the [[#Explanation|explanation]] above regarding the title text
|-
! colspan="2" | Words Picard could have seen in the first drawing, but which were not included as labels on the line
|-
| Cold
| Like Iced tea, asking for cold tea is a relatively normal request.
|-
| Pink
| Earl grey is usually an orange-brown color, not pink. There are, however, a wide variety of [https://www.adagio.com/search/index.html?query=rose teas which come from pink leaves] or [https://www.flourandspiceblog.com/karachi-style-kashmiri-chai-pink-tea/ whose color is "pinkish"].
|}

==Transcript==
:[At the top of the panel, there is a large caption covering two lines with a sub-caption below in a normal-sized font:]
:<big>Other words Captain Picard tried at the end of his tea order before settling on "hot"</big>
:From most normal to least

:[Bellow this we see Picard, drawn bald except for a bit of hair near his ears and behind his head. He stands next to a machine, which is a standing rectangle of the same dimensions as Picard. In the front, there is an opening around the middle, a dispenser from where the ordered items can be retrieved. There is a label at the top of the machine. Picard is giving a command to the machine. His first three words are clearly spoken out as they stand, but then at the end of the sentence, instead of just adding one more word, there is a list of five words in a column between two gray lines. Five words are visible, but the top and bottom words are fading out, presumably other words are above and below, but no longer visible. All except the middle are gray. The middle word is placed as the direct follow up to the first three words in the sentence Picard speaks out, and this word is black like the previous three words. So this middle word is clearly the one he actually speaks out. The others were options, presumably on his mind.]
:Label: Replicator
:Picard:
<font color="Gray">Good.</font>
<font color="Gray">Cold.</font>
Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
<font color="Gray">Dry.</font>
<font color="Gray">Pink.</font>

:[To the left of the machine, a long arrow begins snaking its way towards the bottom, where it ends in an arrow pointing down towards the bottom of the panel. At the top, there is a broad and thick bar from which it starts. Beneath this there are several ticks, the first three are close together and on a part of the arrow that goes almost straight down. But then the arrow curves in under the drawing of Picard, and goes over another drawing of him, placed in a captioned frame. The arrow goes around this and up on the other side, where it goes around another drawing of Picard in a similarly captioned frame. After having gone around this frame it goes a bit up before turning almost straight down before the final arrowhead that points down. In total there are 36 labeled ticks on the arrow, see labels below. The ticks have very varying distances between them. There are especially long between them around the first panels with Picard, but closer together at the start and towards the very end. Above the top bar from where the arrow starts there is also a label and just below this and to the left of the long arrow is a smaller arrow pointing down in the direction of the long arrow. This small arrow has a label at its starting point.]
:Bar label: Normal
:Small arrow label: Less normal

:[The second drawing of Picard, shows him standing next to the labeled machine. Picard is this time holding a cup, with sticky lines connecting his hands and the machine to the cup. He clearly looks down at the cup rather than on the machine, as the hair behind his ear is turned differently than the first drawing, where he looks straight towards the machine. Above is a label inside a frame overlaid on the top line of the panel, with what Picard ordered:]
:"Tea. Earl Grey. Sticky."
:Label: Replicator

:[The third drawing of Picard, only displays him and not the machine. He is holding a vibrating cup in both hands and has now turned the other way, away from where the machine was in the previous drawings (again clearly seen by his hair). Very large letters are displayed in three lines behind him to the exclusion of all else. Four of the 15 letters are partly hidden behind the panel's frame, and seven of them are partly covered by Picard. Above is a label inside a frame overlaid on the top line of the panel, with what Picard ordered:]
:"Tea. Earl Grey. Loud."
:Teacup: <big>'''Teeeeeeeeeeeeee'''</big>

:[Words on the arrow from start to finish:]
:Hot
:Iced
:Decaf
:Good
:Lukewarm
:Tasty
:Boiled
:Watery
:Sour
:Meaty
:Solid
:Dry
:Raw
:Deep-fried
:Sticky
:Grilled
:Fossilized
:Magnetic
:Ballistic
:Unstable
:Blessed
:Blurry
:Loud
:Virtual
:Intravenous
:Expanding
:Ironic
:Segmented
:Verbose
:Cursed
:Unexpected
:Bipedal
:Afraid
:Infinite
:Tea for him, too

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Food]]

1242: Scary Names

2019-11-01T00:17:06Z

Despairbear: /* Table */ why bomb calorimeters are slightly scary

{{comic
| number = 1242
| date = July 24, 2013
| title = Scary Names
| image = scary_names.png
| titletext = Far off to the right of the chart is the Helvetica Scenario.
}}

==Explanation==
This chart humorously explores how things are often named colloquially and without regard to accuracy in correlating actual scariness with apparent scariness. It is interesting to note how people react to the items near the bottom right of the chart "scary things with not-very-scary names" when compared to how they may react to items in the upper left "not-very-scary things with scary names". Some of the entries on the chart are especially interesting examples considering that portions of the names that are associated with significant historical or cultural events and themes. i.e. Chernobyl Packet, Demon Core. All items are described in the [[#Table|table below]] including the title text on Helvetica Scenario.

On the chart, things toward the right are scary/dangerous/very bad, while things toward the top ''sound'' scary without ''necessarily'' being scary.

Note that [[Randall]] uses similar diagrams in both [[388: Fuck Grapefruit]] and [[1501: Mysteries]] which also contain different items. Both of these also have an extra point mentioned in the title text, but only the first is also off the chart, whereas for the second the description of the point is too long to fit on the chart. Extra info outside the chart is also used in the title text of [[1785: Wifi]], but with a line graph.

===Table===
*This table list the entries from least to most scary, including the ''entry'' mentioned in the title text.
*To begin with it is sorted from most scary name to least scary name.
**The assigned percentage values assumes a linear scale and assigns ''flesh eating bacteria'' with the point (100%, 100%).
**This is simply the easiest way to list the entries as there is no mention of the scale.
**As is clear from the title text, "flesh eating bacteria" is not an absolute, simply the highest in this particular sample; there are things more scary than 100%!

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col" class="unsortable"| Name
! scope="col"| Approximate Apparent Scariness
! scope="col"| Approximate True Scariness
! scope="col" class="unsortable"| Description
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Necrotizing fasciitis|Flesh-eating bacteria}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|m !}}100%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|l !}}100%}}
|As the name suggests, bacteria that eat (or more accurately, releases toxins that destroy) your skin and muscle.
|-
|{{Nowrap|[http://www.catb.org/~esr/jargon/html/C/Chernobyl-packet.html Chernobyl Packet]}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|k !}}95%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|a !}}4%}}
|A network packet that induces a broadcast storm or network meltdown. Despite the name, it does not necessarily refer to the {{w|Chernobyl disaster}}.
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Kessler syndrome|Kessler Syndrome}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|k !}}90%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|d !}}53%}}
|A hypothetical scenario where low Earth orbit objects collide, creating debris which increases the risk of more collisions, leading to a cascade effect which could severely hinder exploration and satellite technologies for many decades. It has been mentioned in {{w|Gravity (2013 film)}}
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Demon core|Demon Core}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|j !}}87%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|h !}}73%}}
|A subcritical mass of plutonium that was involved in two separate fatal incidents at Los Alamos laboratory in 1945 and 1946. In both cases, the core was accidentally placed into a configuration where it went supercritical and exposed an experimenter to fatal doses of radiation. The second is more notable, where Louis Slotin held two halves of a beryllium neutron reflector apart with a flat head screwdriver which slipped, suddenly causing the contained plutonium core to become supercritical and delivering a fatal dose of radiation.
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Calorimeter#Bomb calorimeters|Bomb Calorimeters}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|h !}}67%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|b !}}28%}}
|A device for measuring heat of combustion of a reaction in a pressure vessel. It does not interact with explosive devices directly, though the chemicals a bomb calorimeter would be called upon to measure are occasionally explosive or dangerous, and a carelessly operated calorimeter could start a fire.
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Avian influenza virus|Bird Flu}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|h !}}57%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|g !}}72%}}
|An illness caused by strains of influenza adapted for birds, which is generally very deadly in humans. Should the virus adapt for human to human transmission, a pandemic can quickly result. Since birds can travel great distances quickly, it is generally already widespread and difficult to contain.
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Nuclear football|Nuclear Football}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|g !}}52%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|k !}}94%}}
|An aluminum Zero Halliburton briefcase which is used by the President of the United States to authorize nuclear attack. A military aide carrying the football is always near the president.
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Sulfur mustard|Mustard Gas}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|f !}}47%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|c !}}50%}}
|A chemical warfare agent which causes blisters and severe irritation on skin and lung tissue.
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Antibiotic resistance|Superbug}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|e !}}39%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|j !}}83%}}
|Antibiotic resistant bacteria. The growing use of antibiotics has caused some bacteria to evolve to become resistant to the antibiotics. A "superbug" refers to a scenario where a bacteria evolves to become resistant to all antibiotics, for example, {{w|MRSA}}. Thanks to popular culture, however, the term "superbug" usually makes the audience think "a bug with superpowers", such as {{w|Atom Ant}}.
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Criticality accident|Criticality Incident}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|d!}}22%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|i !}}74%}}
|An unexpected and uncontrolled nuclear reaction. This occurs when a system that should be sub-critical becomes critical by accident (a term devised by Louis Slotin, as seen above).
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Soil liquefaction|Soil Liquefaction}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|c !}}16%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|e !}}54%}}
|A phenomenon where wet soil loses its strength and becomes temporarily liquid, capable of swallowing people and buildings, especially after earthquakes or torrential rains. Liquefaction can cause landslides; landslides can cause more liquefaction. Once the earthquake stops, the ground becomes solid again, trapping whatever was submerged.
|-
|{{Nowrap|{{w|Grey goo|Grey Goo}}}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|b !}}5%}}
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|f !}}69%}}
|A hypothetical end-of-world scenario where self-replicating nanobots consume all matter. It is (partially) illustrated in [[865: Nanobots]].
|-
|Helvetica Scenario<br>(from the title text)
|{{Nowrap|{{Hs|z !}}N/A}}
|{{Hs|m !}}Literally Off-The-Chart
|This scenario is also in the title text of [[683: Science Montage]]: "...We have a Helvetica scenario!". The scenario is a fictional experiment, presented in Switzerland (Helvetica), which assumes that removing only the nucleus (the center of an atom) of a calcium molecule in one's skin, but still leaving the electron shell at its position, would cause a massive reaction ending up in heavy mutations. The Helvetica scenario was made up by the BBC comedy show {{w|Look Around You}} in the pilot episode, which can be seen [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4CRCJUmWsM&t=5m53s here (at 5:53)]. The fact that the term {{w|Helvetica}} is more commonly known as referring to a very-commonly-used modern typeface makes the name sound like it should refer to a much less serious situation.
|}

==Transcript==
:[A scatter-plot, with 12 labeled dots. Both axis are labeled but neither has an arrow at its end. The dots are scattered from left to right and top to bottom. Below all labels are given, first for the axis, and then for each dot in approximately normal reading order, left to right top to bottom, but in the order it would make sense to read them:]
:Y-axis: Scariness of name
:X-axis: Scariness of thing name refers to

:[Top left]: Chernobyl packet
:[Top halfway right]: Kessler syndrome
:[Top three quarters towards right]: Demon core
:[Top right]: Flesh-eating bacteria
:[A third down left]: Bomb calorimeter
:[Halfway down three quarters towards right]: Bird flu
:[Halfway down right]: Nuclear football
:[Dead center]: Mustard gas
:[Just below and right of center]: Superbug
:[Bottom halfway right]: Soil liquefaction
:[A third up three quarters towards right ]: Criticality incident
:[Very bottom two-thirds to the right]: Grey goo

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Rankings]]

1991: Research Areas by Size and Countedness

2018-05-09T22:59:30Z

Despairbear: /* Upper right quadrant */ further on geology

{{comic
| number = 1991
| date = May 9, 2018
| title = Research Areas by Size and Countedness
| image = research_areas_by_size_and_countedness.png
| titletext = Mathematicians give a third answer on the vertical axis, "That question is poorly defined, but we have a sub-field devoted to every plausible version of it."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The tables needs to be filled in. Title text not explained. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a [[:Category:Scatter plots|scatter plot]] that ranks different research fields according to the precision of the knowledge of the number of the studied object (vertical axis) vs. how large (the size of) the studied object is on the horizontal axis.

For instance the number of presidents is well known, so the study of their history is at the top of the Y-axis. This study is placed close to the Y-axis as the size of a president is about midway in size between the two extremes of the X-axis, elementary particles to the left (small) and the entire cosmos (cosmology) to the right (big).

On the X-axis Presidents are close to the middle. Both presidents and other larger life forms (as a research area) including extinct animals (paleontology) and exobiology are all close to the the same central position just right of the Y-axis, with smaller animals like birds and insects just to the left of the Y-axis. But where the number of presidents is well known, then the number of exoplanet life forms (exobiology) is completely unknown and thus it will be found at the very bottom of the Y-axis, since we have no idea if there are life elsewhere and if so how many places will it be and how varied.

The 19 research areas are listed and explained in the [[#Tables of research areas|tables]] below.

In the title text the mathematicians give a third answer...?

==Tables of research areas==

===Upper left quadrant===
*This is the section with the small items with count known.

{| class = "wikitable"
! Research field
! Size
! Knowledge of #
! Explanation
|-
|{{w|Elementary particle physics}}
| The smallest subjects that we have actually detected are the {{w|elementary particles}}. These may be made of smaller {{w|String theory|strings}} but if so these have still not been detected.
| We have a fairly good estimate of how many elementary particles there are. There could be some uncertainty though, so it is not at the very top.
|Elementary particle physics is concerned with the study of subatomic particles (the smallest things that can exist), of which there are 17. Most notably, until recently it was uncertain whether the {{w|Higgs boson}} was one of the elementary particles, but scientists have a "pretty good estimate" because the mathematical models don't predict the existence of many other particles
|-
|{{w|Dentistry}}
|
|
|Dentistry is the study of teeth (pretty small). Humans grow 32 teeth, which is a "pretty good estimate" since it is very rare for {{w|Hyperdontia|more than 32 teeth to grow}} and it is rather common for {{w|wisdom teeth}} to be surgically extracted
|-
|{{w|Shakespeare}} studies
|
|
|Shakespeare studies is concerned with the works of William Shakespeare (each book is pretty small). Generally, 36 plays are attributed to him, but between 1 and 3 additional plays are considered "lost" (i.e. at some point between being first published or performed and scholars seriously studying Shakespeare, all known copies, references, and fragments were destroyed, making it impossible to determine whether Shakespeare actually wrote them or whether they actually existed as separate plays), and {{w|Shakespeare apocrypha|some 20 more}} are believed to have been written by him, but not signed. To make matters worse, some plays that ''were'' published or performed under Shakespeare's name are believed to have been written as collaborations (not fully by him) or mis-attributed (we don't know who wrote them but, everyone says it was him).
|-
|{{w|Ornithology}}
|
|
|Ornithology studies birds (birds tend to be small, even the largest known bird, the {{w|Condor}}, stands smaller than the average human, with non-flying avians such as the {{w|ostrich}} generally not considered birds). As with all animal classifications, we aren't really certain how many species there are, and are [https://www.amnh.org/about-the-museum/press-center/new-study-doubles-the-estimate-of-bird-species-in-the-world constantly revising the figure], but all estimates remain in the low thousands, so we do have a "pretty good estimate"
|-
|Ancient {{w|literature}}
|
|
|While it is fairly straightforward to look up how many books [http://www.proquest.com/products-services/Books-in-Print.html are currently in print], or how many books [https://mashable.com/2010/08/05/number-of-books-in-the-world/ all currently printed information would fit into if bound into equal-length volumes], and then limiting those estimates to those that date before a specific year, counting how many books from the period of interest haven't survived to the present day (books that were "{{w|lost work|lost}}" either by deliberate discontinuation, or accidental destruction such as in the {{w|Destruction of the Library of Alexandria|Library of Alexandria}}) is a bit more difficult. However, because we know the work existed (it is mentioned by name in some other text), we have "pretty good estimate" that the number of lost works is "only" in the tens of thousands, as is the number of surviving works.
|}

===Upper right quadrant===
*This is the section with the big items with count known.

{| class = "wikitable"
! Research field
! Size
! Knowledge of #
! Explanation
|-
|{{w|Marine Mammol}}ogy
|
|
|Marine mammals are the largest extant animals. The US Government [http://www.nmfs.noaa.gov/pr/species/mammals/ recognizes] 119 marine mammals. However, what constitutes each species is [https://www.marinemammalscience.org/species-information/list-marine-mammal-species-subspecies/ constantly being revised], with new studies indicating either that what use to be considered a subspecies is actually a separate species, or that what use to be considered a subspecies is actually a separate species. As the depths of the ocean are further explored, species that were outright unknown are spotted and need to be classified. However, since marine mammals breathe air, they have to come to the surface where we can see them, so we're pretty sure that we've spotted them all.
|-
|{{w|List_of_Presidents_of_the_United_States|Presidential History}}
|
|
|Presidents are generally considered "big" men in history. Therefore, each one is fairly well known and documented. There is, however, some discussion on how many presidents there have been in the history of the United States, since prior to the {{w|Twenty-fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|25th amendment}}, it was unspecified whether vice presidents counted as presidents during the President's absence. Most notably, this ambiguity is the reason {{w|David Rice Atchison}}'s tombstone is inscribed with the words "President of the United States for one day".
|-
|{{w|Railway}} Engineering
|
|
|A railway can span anywhere from a few hundred feet, to thousands of miles, so they're pretty big. The type of a railway is generally given by its {{w|track gauge}}, which are defined as "standard" (whatever you're currently using), "narrow" (rails closer together than whatever you're using) and "broad" (rails farther apart than whatever you're using). Since what is standard varies from country to country, and indeed from line to line, how many kinds of "narrow" gauge and "broad" gauge exist depend on who you ask.
|-
|{{w|Geology}}
|
|
|Geology is generally considered the study of rocks (small rocks being considered fragments of mountain layers, so what counts as a "rock" for a geologist can be pretty big). There is no universally agreed upon number to how many {{w|List of rock types|types of rock}} there are, but all geologists agree they can be grouped into igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary rock. Alternatively, geology can be construed as the study of the planet Earth's composition ( *geo*- meaning "Earth" ), and geologists are confident that the planet Earth is big and there is only one of it.
|-
|{{w|Cosmology}}
| As this encompasses (at least) all of the visible parts of the universe (we live in) there can be no other "items" to study that would be larger.
| There are only one visible univrese, but there could be multiverses/parallel universes, and also an infinite universe beyond the borders of our own part of this universe' event horizon. So it depends on who you ask if they say there is one of and infinite number of universes to study, thus it is placed close to the middle of the two extremes,
|Cosmology is the study of the universe. There is an asterisk with the note "Depends on who you ask", relating to the estimate of how many universes there are. While it might seem obvious that there is only one universe, some branches of physics believe that our universe is part of a {{w|multiverse}}, and this remains an open and contested subject in the field.
|}

===Lower left quadrant===
*This is the section with the small items with count unknown.

{| class = "wikitable"
! Research field
! Size
! Knowledge of #
! Explanation
|-
|{{w|Mycology}}
|
|
|Mycology is the study of fungi (since fungi tend to grow flat -- excepting for mushrooms, which are their sexual organs, and do not exceed a foot in height (see [http://www.isciencetimes.com/articles/5740/20130729/giant-fungus-china-mushroom-world-s-largest-size.htm World's Largest mushrooms] -- mushrooms are generally considered small). It is a lot harder to discern which species a fungus is, and therefore classify it, so we "have no idea" how many kinds of fungi there are. Studies [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21613136 vary wildly] between about 70,000 to over 5,000,000
|-
|Entymology
|
|
|It is unclear whether [[Randall]] means {{w|entomology}} or {{w|etymology}} (probably neither; it's likely that this wasn't a mistake). In either case, [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28938083 estimates for insects] (entomology) vary from less than 1,000,000 to 30,000,000; and [https://www.quora.com/How-many-root-words-are-there-in-the-English-language estimates for root words] (etymology) reaching hundreds of thousands.
|-
|{{w|Microbiology}}
|
|
|Microbiology studies microscopic (too small to see) organisms, of which some 1,400 are known and "estimates for the total number of microbial species vary wildly, from as low as 120,000 to tens of millions and higher", according to [https://www.quora.com/How-many-root-words-are-there-in-the-English-language Nature magazine].
|-
|{{w|Pharmacology}}
|
|
|The number of drugs (pharmaceuticals) discovered and synthesized is not tallied, according to [https://www.raps.org/regulatory-focus%E2%84%A2/news-articles/2014/10/how-many-drugs-has-fda-approved-in-its-entire-history-new-paper-explains recent studies], but an estimate can be obtained by seeing how many have passed through the {{w|Food and Drug Administration|U.S. FDA}} (1,453). Many home remedies, which might technically qualify as drugs, have not been approved because {{w|Novelty (patent)|"everybody knows that"}}, as well as many solely recreational drugs since regulation might result in outlawing. Because of this, "we have no idea" how many drugs truly exist. Since drugs are extremely powerful molecules that are only administered in choice amounts, they are generally perceived as small.
|}

===Lower right quadrant===
*This is the section with the big items with count unknown.

{| class = "wikitable"
! Research field
! Size
! Knowledge of #
! Explanation
|-
|{{w|Botany}}
|
|
|Botany studies plants, which can reach {{w|List of superlative trees|hundreds of feet by any measure}}. However, plant tend to clump together in forests and jungles, which makes it hard to get to them and document them. Every year, thousands of new plants are discovered, with the best estimate being that there are [https://news.mongabay.com/2016/05/many-plants-world-scientists-may-now-answer/ nearly 400,000 vascular plants] and an additional [https://www.britannica.com/topic-browse/Plants/Nonvascular-Plants 12,000 non-vascular plants]. However, the rate of discovery doesn't appear to be slowing down significantly, so we truly "have no idea."
|-
|{{w|Paleontology}}
|Paleontologists study fossils, which range in size from very small to very large. When most people think of paleontologists though, they tend to think of them as studying large animals such as dinosaurs.
|
|Paleontology studies fossils, particularly those of extinct animals, which can reach {{w|Largest prehistoric animals|huge sizes}}. However, since fossils form under very special circumstances, if the animal did not die under those special circumstances, there will be no record of their existence. Therefore, the number of extinct animals can never truly be known, but we've found [http://scienceblogs.com/authority/2010/01/12/how-do-we-know-that-most-of-th/ around 250,000]
|-
|{{w|Black Hole}} Astronomy
|Compared to most astronomical objects, black holes are fairly small. However, most of them (that we are able to detect) are still larger than the Earth, so they would still fall on the "big" end of this chart. Alternatively, Randall may be referring to their mass, which is on the scale of stars.
|
|"Most stellar black holes [...] are impossible to detect. Judging from the number of stars large enough to produce such black holes, however, scientists estimate that there are as many as ten million to a billion such black holes in the Milky Way alone." ([https://science.nasa.gov/astrophysics/focus-areas/black-holes NASA Black Hole information page])
|-
|{{w|Exobiology}}
|
|
|Exobiology refers to the study of life outside Earth, which requires {{w|SETI|scanning the entire universe for life}}. Currently, exobiology seeks to find a planet with life (and, {{w|definition of planet|to qualify as a planet}}, it has to be big). The estimate of {{w|List of potentially habitable exoplanets|how many planets with life there are}} varies from 16 to 40,000,000,000. However, the number of planets apart from Earth confirmed to have life is currently zero. This is known as the {{w|Fermi Paradox}}
|-
|{{w|Theology}}
|It is placed at a scale as large as the universe (cosmology) as it should encompass the entire creation. For those not believing in gods it could also be seen as studying something as small as the human brain that has created all the gods in our image. But Randall has chosen to place it in the big section.
|As no one really can know anything about theology as it is a study based on fairy tales it is at the bottom of the we have no idea scale. Generally applicable to anything with religiopn, but also here in relation to how many gods are there/how many religions.
|Theology is concerned with the study of God, which, by definition, is a hypothetical being greater than the universe itself. In particular, theologists study the question of whether {{w|theism|a god could exists}} (there is ≥1 god) {{w|astheism|or not}} (there are 0 gods) and, in the former case, whether there could be {{w|polytheism|multiple gods}} (there are ''n''>1 gods) or {{w|monotheism|just one}} (there is exactly 1 god) or indeed whether there is {{w|animism|one god for each living thing}} (''n''≫1 gods). I.e., the very definition of the field is the fact that "we have no idea" how many there are.
|}

==Transcript==
:[An X-Y scatter plot of research areas, written in gray font, where both axes have arrows in both ends. At the end of each arrow is a label. Above the left part of the X-axis there is a line which goes to a text about the meaning of the X-axis. Similarly there is a line to from the top of the Y-axis to a questions “asked” to those that study the given subject, their answers being somewhere between the two labels on the Y axis.]

:[The X-axis from left to right, text first and then labels:]
:Size of the thing you study
:Small
:Big

:[The Y-axis from top to bottom, question first and then labels:]
:"That thing you study - how many of them are there?"
:"We have a pretty good estimate."
:"We have no idea"

:[The research areas names are listed here below by sorting them into the four quadrants from top left to bottom right. In each quadrant the areas are listed after most left first, and then top to bottom for those at the same x position.]

:[Upper left quadrant (Small & count known):]
:Elementary particle physics
:Dentistry
:Shakespeare studies
:Ornithology
:Ancient Literature

:[Upper right quadrant (Big & count known):]
:Presidential History
:Marine Mammology
:Railway Engineering
:Geology
:Cosmology*
:<small>(*Depends who you ask)</small>

:[Lower left quadrant (Small & count unknown):]
:Pharmacology
:Microbiology
:Entymology
:Mycology

:[Upper right quadrant (Big & count unknown):]
:Botany
:Paleontology
:Exobiology
:Black Hole Astronomy
:Theology

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Rankings]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Math]] 
[[Category:Fiction]] 
[[Category:Religion]] 
[[Category:Animals]] 
[[Category:Exoplanets]] 
[[Category:Politics]]

1991: Research Areas by Size and Countedness

2018-05-09T22:58:44Z

Despairbear: alternative explanation for geology (geology is the planet earth and we are pretty sure how many Earths there are)

{{comic
| number = 1991
| date = May 9, 2018
| title = Research Areas by Size and Countedness
| image = research_areas_by_size_and_countedness.png
| titletext = Mathematicians give a third answer on the vertical axis, "That question is poorly defined, but we have a sub-field devoted to every plausible version of it."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The tables needs to be filled in. Title text not explained. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a [[:Category:Scatter plots|scatter plot]] that ranks different research fields according to the precision of the knowledge of the number of the studied object (vertical axis) vs. how large (the size of) the studied object is on the horizontal axis.

For instance the number of presidents is well known, so the study of their history is at the top of the Y-axis. This study is placed close to the Y-axis as the size of a president is about midway in size between the two extremes of the X-axis, elementary particles to the left (small) and the entire cosmos (cosmology) to the right (big).

On the X-axis Presidents are close to the middle. Both presidents and other larger life forms (as a research area) including extinct animals (paleontology) and exobiology are all close to the the same central position just right of the Y-axis, with smaller animals like birds and insects just to the left of the Y-axis. But where the number of presidents is well known, then the number of exoplanet life forms (exobiology) is completely unknown and thus it will be found at the very bottom of the Y-axis, since we have no idea if there are life elsewhere and if so how many places will it be and how varied.

The 19 research areas are listed and explained in the [[#Tables of research areas|tables]] below.

In the title text the mathematicians give a third answer...?

==Tables of research areas==

===Upper left quadrant===
*This is the section with the small items with count known.

{| class = "wikitable"
! Research field
! Size
! Knowledge of #
! Explanation
|-
|{{w|Elementary particle physics}}
| The smallest subjects that we have actually detected are the {{w|elementary particles}}. These may be made of smaller {{w|String theory|strings}} but if so these have still not been detected.
| We have a fairly good estimate of how many elementary particles there are. There could be some uncertainty though, so it is not at the very top.
|Elementary particle physics is concerned with the study of subatomic particles (the smallest things that can exist), of which there are 17. Most notably, until recently it was uncertain whether the {{w|Higgs boson}} was one of the elementary particles, but scientists have a "pretty good estimate" because the mathematical models don't predict the existence of many other particles
|-
|{{w|Dentistry}}
|
|
|Dentistry is the study of teeth (pretty small). Humans grow 32 teeth, which is a "pretty good estimate" since it is very rare for {{w|Hyperdontia|more than 32 teeth to grow}} and it is rather common for {{w|wisdom teeth}} to be surgically extracted
|-
|{{w|Shakespeare}} studies
|
|
|Shakespeare studies is concerned with the works of William Shakespeare (each book is pretty small). Generally, 36 plays are attributed to him, but between 1 and 3 additional plays are considered "lost" (i.e. at some point between being first published or performed and scholars seriously studying Shakespeare, all known copies, references, and fragments were destroyed, making it impossible to determine whether Shakespeare actually wrote them or whether they actually existed as separate plays), and {{w|Shakespeare apocrypha|some 20 more}} are believed to have been written by him, but not signed. To make matters worse, some plays that ''were'' published or performed under Shakespeare's name are believed to have been written as collaborations (not fully by him) or mis-attributed (we don't know who wrote them but, everyone says it was him).
|-
|{{w|Ornithology}}
|
|
|Ornithology studies birds (birds tend to be small, even the largest known bird, the {{w|Condor}}, stands smaller than the average human, with non-flying avians such as the {{w|ostrich}} generally not considered birds). As with all animal classifications, we aren't really certain how many species there are, and are [https://www.amnh.org/about-the-museum/press-center/new-study-doubles-the-estimate-of-bird-species-in-the-world constantly revising the figure], but all estimates remain in the low thousands, so we do have a "pretty good estimate"
|-
|Ancient {{w|literature}}
|
|
|While it is fairly straightforward to look up how many books [http://www.proquest.com/products-services/Books-in-Print.html are currently in print], or how many books [https://mashable.com/2010/08/05/number-of-books-in-the-world/ all currently printed information would fit into if bound into equal-length volumes], and then limiting those estimates to those that date before a specific year, counting how many books from the period of interest haven't survived to the present day (books that were "{{w|lost work|lost}}" either by deliberate discontinuation, or accidental destruction such as in the {{w|Destruction of the Library of Alexandria|Library of Alexandria}}) is a bit more difficult. However, because we know the work existed (it is mentioned by name in some other text), we have "pretty good estimate" that the number of lost works is "only" in the tens of thousands, as is the number of surviving works.
|}

===Upper right quadrant===
*This is the section with the big items with count known.

{| class = "wikitable"
! Research field
! Size
! Knowledge of #
! Explanation
|-
|{{w|Marine Mammol}}ogy
|
|
|Marine mammals are the largest extant animals. The US Government [http://www.nmfs.noaa.gov/pr/species/mammals/ recognizes] 119 marine mammals. However, what constitutes each species is [https://www.marinemammalscience.org/species-information/list-marine-mammal-species-subspecies/ constantly being revised], with new studies indicating either that what use to be considered a subspecies is actually a separate species, or that what use to be considered a subspecies is actually a separate species. As the depths of the ocean are further explored, species that were outright unknown are spotted and need to be classified. However, since marine mammals breathe air, they have to come to the surface where we can see them, so we're pretty sure that we've spotted them all.
|-
|{{w|List_of_Presidents_of_the_United_States|Presidential History}}
|
|
|Presidents are generally considered "big" men in history. Therefore, each one is fairly well known and documented. There is, however, some discussion on how many presidents there have been in the history of the United States, since prior to the {{w|Twenty-fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|25th amendment}}, it was unspecified whether vice presidents counted as presidents during the President's absence. Most notably, this ambiguity is the reason {{w|David Rice Atchison}}'s tombstone is inscribed with the words "President of the United States for one day".
|-
|{{w|Railway}} Engineering
|
|
|A railway can span anywhere from a few hundred feet, to thousands of miles, so they're pretty big. The type of a railway is generally given by its {{w|track gauge}}, which are defined as "standard" (whatever you're currently using), "narrow" (rails closer together than whatever you're using) and "broad" (rails farther apart than whatever you're using). Since what is standard varies from country to country, and indeed from line to line, how many kinds of "narrow" gauge and "broad" gauge exist depend on who you ask.
|-
|{{w|Geology}}
|
|
|Geology is generally considered the study of rocks (small rocks being considered fragments of mountain layers, so what counts as a "rock" for a geologist can be pretty big). There is no universally agreed upon number to how many {{w|List of rock types|types of rock}} there are, but all geologists agree they can be grouped into igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary rock. Alternatively, geology can be construed as the study of the planet Earth's composition ( *geo*- meaning "Earth" ), and geologists are confident about how many Earths there are.
|-
|{{w|Cosmology}}
| As this encompasses (at least) all of the visible parts of the universe (we live in) there can be no other "items" to study that would be larger.
| There are only one visible univrese, but there could be multiverses/parallel universes, and also an infinite universe beyond the borders of our own part of this universe' event horizon. So it depends on who you ask if they say there is one of and infinite number of universes to study, thus it is placed close to the middle of the two extremes,
|Cosmology is the study of the universe. There is an asterisk with the note "Depends on who you ask", relating to the estimate of how many universes there are. While it might seem obvious that there is only one universe, some branches of physics believe that our universe is part of a {{w|multiverse}}, and this remains an open and contested subject in the field.
|}

===Lower left quadrant===
*This is the section with the small items with count unknown.

{| class = "wikitable"
! Research field
! Size
! Knowledge of #
! Explanation
|-
|{{w|Mycology}}
|
|
|Mycology is the study of fungi (since fungi tend to grow flat -- excepting for mushrooms, which are their sexual organs, and do not exceed a foot in height (see [http://www.isciencetimes.com/articles/5740/20130729/giant-fungus-china-mushroom-world-s-largest-size.htm World's Largest mushrooms] -- mushrooms are generally considered small). It is a lot harder to discern which species a fungus is, and therefore classify it, so we "have no idea" how many kinds of fungi there are. Studies [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21613136 vary wildly] between about 70,000 to over 5,000,000
|-
|Entymology
|
|
|It is unclear whether [[Randall]] means {{w|entomology}} or {{w|etymology}} (probably neither; it's likely that this wasn't a mistake). In either case, [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28938083 estimates for insects] (entomology) vary from less than 1,000,000 to 30,000,000; and [https://www.quora.com/How-many-root-words-are-there-in-the-English-language estimates for root words] (etymology) reaching hundreds of thousands.
|-
|{{w|Microbiology}}
|
|
|Microbiology studies microscopic (too small to see) organisms, of which some 1,400 are known and "estimates for the total number of microbial species vary wildly, from as low as 120,000 to tens of millions and higher", according to [https://www.quora.com/How-many-root-words-are-there-in-the-English-language Nature magazine].
|-
|{{w|Pharmacology}}
|
|
|The number of drugs (pharmaceuticals) discovered and synthesized is not tallied, according to [https://www.raps.org/regulatory-focus%E2%84%A2/news-articles/2014/10/how-many-drugs-has-fda-approved-in-its-entire-history-new-paper-explains recent studies], but an estimate can be obtained by seeing how many have passed through the {{w|Food and Drug Administration|U.S. FDA}} (1,453). Many home remedies, which might technically qualify as drugs, have not been approved because {{w|Novelty (patent)|"everybody knows that"}}, as well as many solely recreational drugs since regulation might result in outlawing. Because of this, "we have no idea" how many drugs truly exist. Since drugs are extremely powerful molecules that are only administered in choice amounts, they are generally perceived as small.
|}

===Lower right quadrant===
*This is the section with the big items with count unknown.

{| class = "wikitable"
! Research field
! Size
! Knowledge of #
! Explanation
|-
|{{w|Botany}}
|
|
|Botany studies plants, which can reach {{w|List of superlative trees|hundreds of feet by any measure}}. However, plant tend to clump together in forests and jungles, which makes it hard to get to them and document them. Every year, thousands of new plants are discovered, with the best estimate being that there are [https://news.mongabay.com/2016/05/many-plants-world-scientists-may-now-answer/ nearly 400,000 vascular plants] and an additional [https://www.britannica.com/topic-browse/Plants/Nonvascular-Plants 12,000 non-vascular plants]. However, the rate of discovery doesn't appear to be slowing down significantly, so we truly "have no idea."
|-
|{{w|Paleontology}}
|Paleontologists study fossils, which range in size from very small to very large. When most people think of paleontologists though, they tend to think of them as studying large animals such as dinosaurs.
|
|Paleontology studies fossils, particularly those of extinct animals, which can reach {{w|Largest prehistoric animals|huge sizes}}. However, since fossils form under very special circumstances, if the animal did not die under those special circumstances, there will be no record of their existence. Therefore, the number of extinct animals can never truly be known, but we've found [http://scienceblogs.com/authority/2010/01/12/how-do-we-know-that-most-of-th/ around 250,000]
|-
|{{w|Black Hole}} Astronomy
|Compared to most astronomical objects, black holes are fairly small. However, most of them (that we are able to detect) are still larger than the Earth, so they would still fall on the "big" end of this chart. Alternatively, Randall may be referring to their mass, which is on the scale of stars.
|
|"Most stellar black holes [...] are impossible to detect. Judging from the number of stars large enough to produce such black holes, however, scientists estimate that there are as many as ten million to a billion such black holes in the Milky Way alone." ([https://science.nasa.gov/astrophysics/focus-areas/black-holes NASA Black Hole information page])
|-
|{{w|Exobiology}}
|
|
|Exobiology refers to the study of life outside Earth, which requires {{w|SETI|scanning the entire universe for life}}. Currently, exobiology seeks to find a planet with life (and, {{w|definition of planet|to qualify as a planet}}, it has to be big). The estimate of {{w|List of potentially habitable exoplanets|how many planets with life there are}} varies from 16 to 40,000,000,000. However, the number of planets apart from Earth confirmed to have life is currently zero. This is known as the {{w|Fermi Paradox}}
|-
|{{w|Theology}}
|It is placed at a scale as large as the universe (cosmology) as it should encompass the entire creation. For those not believing in gods it could also be seen as studying something as small as the human brain that has created all the gods in our image. But Randall has chosen to place it in the big section.
|As no one really can know anything about theology as it is a study based on fairy tales it is at the bottom of the we have no idea scale. Generally applicable to anything with religiopn, but also here in relation to how many gods are there/how many religions.
|Theology is concerned with the study of God, which, by definition, is a hypothetical being greater than the universe itself. In particular, theologists study the question of whether {{w|theism|a god could exists}} (there is ≥1 god) {{w|astheism|or not}} (there are 0 gods) and, in the former case, whether there could be {{w|polytheism|multiple gods}} (there are ''n''>1 gods) or {{w|monotheism|just one}} (there is exactly 1 god) or indeed whether there is {{w|animism|one god for each living thing}} (''n''≫1 gods). I.e., the very definition of the field is the fact that "we have no idea" how many there are.
|}

==Transcript==
:[An X-Y scatter plot of research areas, written in gray font, where both axes have arrows in both ends. At the end of each arrow is a label. Above the left part of the X-axis there is a line which goes to a text about the meaning of the X-axis. Similarly there is a line to from the top of the Y-axis to a questions “asked” to those that study the given subject, their answers being somewhere between the two labels on the Y axis.]

:[The X-axis from left to right, text first and then labels:]
:Size of the thing you study
:Small
:Big

:[The Y-axis from top to bottom, question first and then labels:]
:"That thing you study - how many of them are there?"
:"We have a pretty good estimate."
:"We have no idea"

:[The research areas names are listed here below by sorting them into the four quadrants from top left to bottom right. In each quadrant the areas are listed after most left first, and then top to bottom for those at the same x position.]

:[Upper left quadrant (Small & count known):]
:Elementary particle physics
:Dentistry
:Shakespeare studies
:Ornithology
:Ancient Literature

:[Upper right quadrant (Big & count known):]
:Presidential History
:Marine Mammology
:Railway Engineering
:Geology
:Cosmology*
:<small>(*Depends who you ask)</small>

:[Lower left quadrant (Small & count unknown):]
:Pharmacology
:Microbiology
:Entymology
:Mycology

:[Upper right quadrant (Big & count unknown):]
:Botany
:Paleontology
:Exobiology
:Black Hole Astronomy
:Theology

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Rankings]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Math]] 
[[Category:Fiction]] 
[[Category:Religion]] 
[[Category:Animals]] 
[[Category:Exoplanets]] 
[[Category:Politics]]

1797: Stardew Valley

2017-02-10T21:13:49Z

Despairbear: diction

{{comic
| number = 1797
| date = February 10, 2017
| title = Stardew Valley
| image = stardew_valley.png
| titletext = I have accidentally watered virtually every person and object in Pelican Town.
}}

== Explanation ==
{{incomplete|The style of this comic is not quite as xkcd usually is. See comment at the top of the discussion about it, or read the transcript. Can anyone familiar with Stardew comment on whether it has some similarities to the game? If not, reply in the discussion. If more say it is not so, then delete this incomplete section. The differences are mentioned in the transcript.}}

''{{w|Stardew Valley}}'' is an indie farming simulation role-playing video game published by Chucklefish Games. In a similar fashion to games such as {{w|Farmville}} or {{w|Harvest Moon (series)|Harvest Moon}}, the game is a farming simulator where you take the role of a farmer and perform everyday tasks such as watering plants, growing food, and running a farm.

One common task in Stardew Valley is to water your plants. Due to how the controls work, it is quite common to accidentally use the watering can on other objects - such as a cat. This comic explains the "morning routine" of an average citizen in Pelican Town, where it's as simple as walking to plants and pressing the "water" button. However, the farmer [[Cueball]] (here representing [[Randall|Randall's]] vision of himself in the game) accidentally uses the watering can on the cat instead of interacting with it, causing the cat to wake up in alarm. Cueball responds with a typical "Dammit", possibly referring to the fact that this has happened before. (See title text of [[559: No Pun Intended]] regarding Dammit).

The title text makes it clear that this has not just happened a few times before, as Cueball has virtually by accident watered every person and object in [http://stardewvalleywiki.com/Pelican_Town Pelican Town], thus probably also all other animals and not just the cat. Pelican Town is where the player moves to at the start of the game, located in Stardew Valley. Pelican Town is where most of the villagers live, work, and socialize.

There is another pun in the title text, since it states that Randall ''[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/virtually virtually]'' watered everyone. This means that he as watered almost everyone in the city. But if he had used ''[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/virtual virtual]'' then it would have referred to the fact that he was watering everyone in the virtual reality of the city.

Stardew Valley was also mentioned only two weeks prior in [[1790: Sad]], so it seems like Randall has avoided his other tasks for a few weeks now while waking up every morning to water the people in Stardew Valley,

== Transcript ==
:[Inside a slim frame at the top of the comic there is a caption (a rather unusual style for xkcd captions):]
:Stardew Valley morning routine

:[Below this frame there are two rows each consisting of three small panels taking up the same width as the caption panel above. In most of the panels noises are shown inside either sound bubbles or speech bubbles, which is also a rather unusual style for xkcd, especially as this ends in the last panel when the sounds are intentionally, but only then.]

:[Cueball wakes up in a four poster bed, with round knobs at the top of each post. He sits up in bed with the pillow at his back up against the bedpost and holds a hand to his mouth, while the other hand is lying on the tight blanket covering his body. He clearly yawns as indicated with four small lines above his head above which floats a large sound bubble:]
:Cueball: '''''Yawn'''''

:[Cueball walks to the right with a small watering can held in front of him.]

:[Cueball pours water from the can over the central of three small plants growing in the grass. A line goes from the water to another bubble:]
:Water: ''Splish''

:[Cueball walks back to the left with the watering can.]

:[Cueball stops with the can right next to a sleeping cat, which has a speech bubble pointing to its head.]
:Cat: Z

:[Cueball proceeds to pour water on the cat which immediately gets up and lifts it front legs up away from Cueball as it tries to escape, with water cascading down on its back. Again there is a line from the water to a speech bubble at the top of the panel, but both the cats angry sound and Cueball's comment is in the more normal xkcd style without any bubbles around and just two lines to indicate who speaks.]
:Water: ''Splish''
:Cat: ''Mrowl!!''
:Cueball: '''''–Dammit. '''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Animals]]

1597: Git

2015-12-21T11:30:57Z

Despairbear: /* How do we use it? */ "simplify" is perhaps the wrong word. use a more neutral term.

{{comic
| number = 1597
| date = October 30, 2015
| title = Git
| image = git.png
| titletext = If that doesn't fix it, git.txt contains the phone number of a friend of mine who understands git. Just wait through a few minutes of 'It's really pretty simple, just think of branches as...' and eventually you'll learn the commands that will fix everything.
}}

==Explanation==
===This is Git===
{{w|Git (software)|Git}} is a version control system, used to manage the code in many thousands of open source software projects. It is very powerful, and was amongst the first widely adopted tools to use a distributed version control model (the "beautiful [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graph_theory graph theory] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_(graph_theory) tree model]"), meaning that there is no single central repository of code. Instead, users share code back and forth to synchronise their repositories, and it is up to each project to define processes and procedures for managing the flow of changes into a stable software product.
===How do we use it?===
Although very powerful, the command line of Git is notoriously difficult to learn and master. Dozens of blog posts and websites (see [http://think-like-a-git.net/epic.html], [http://stevebennett.me/2012/02/24/10-things-i-hate-about-git/]), and even books ([http://blog.anvard.org/conversational-git/chapter-01.html], [http://git-scm.com/book/en/v2]) have been written to help users navigate this complexity.

The difficulty of using Git in common situations is belied by the apparent simplicity of its use in tutorial-style situations. Committing and sharing changes is fairly straightforward, for instance, but recovering from situations such as accidental commits, pushes or bad merges is difficult without a solid understanding of the rather large and complex conceptual model. For instance, three of the top five highest voted questions on StackOverflow are questions about how to carry out relatively simple tasks: undoing the last commit, changing the last commit message, and deleting a remote branch.

This comic thus explores the difference between the idealised view of Git's architecture, and its actual typical usage. Tutorials for git tend to use simple systems in their examples, and only deal with the most basic commands to get started, which can create the misleading impression that git can be used effectively without extensive study.

Due to this problem, compounded by the fact that git's commands are named differently from similar commands in other version control systems, many users (including Cueball) are unable to use it beyond basic commands, and might try to avoid problems by saving their code outside git, downloading a newer copy, and then re-applying their changes to the new copy instead of trying to understand and use the features that exist in git to accomplish this task.

===Memorize these shell commands===
Cueball suggests "just memoriz[ing] these shell commands and type them to sync up". He is probably referring to a sequence of commands such as:

git pull
# remote changes have now been received, so work on your file
git add file.txt
git commit -m "Added some text"
git push

===If you get errors...===
As long as every contributor to the project follows these principles, this may suffice for a while. But many situations may cause "errors":

* merge conflicts (two people editing the same part of the same file)
* unmerged changes (another person committed a change before you did, so you need to merge their changes first)
* attempting to recover from a situation such as an accidental merge, and making the situation worse.

In a stiuation such as a merge conflict, Git will show an error message such as:

CONFLICT (modify/delete): README.md deleted in HEAD and modified in branch-b. Version branch-b of README.md left in tree.
# Automatic merge failed; fix conflicts and then commit the result.

===Save your work elsewhere...===
Although Git experts can of course deal with such situations, the remedy proposed by Cueball is "save your work elsewhere, delete the project, and download a fresh copy". That is, to copy the files out of their local repository's working directory, delete that whole structure, then clone the remote repository again (and, implicitly, copy the saved work back again):

# Copy files elsewhere
mkdir /tmp/myproject
cp * /tmp/myproject
cd ..
# delete the project
rm -rf myproject

# Download a fresh copy
git clone https://github.com/myorg/myproject
cd myproject

# Copy saved work
cp /tmp/myproject/* .

Abandoning the old project likely means losing some work, but may be faster and give a more predictable outcome than attempting to salvage the situation. Applying this method to a mere merge conflict issue may prolong the issue however, as the merge conflicts may still be present.

===Title text===
The title text suggests an alternative method for working around Git's complexities, which reflects common practice: knowing a "Git expert" who can help in any situation. Such experts are somewhat notorious for waxing lyrically about Git's strengths, so it may be necessary to win their favour by first letting them ramble enthusiastically about it. They will hopefully eventually give the exact commands needed. In practice, the question-and-answer site StackOverflow.com is frequently used for this exact purpose.

It may even be a reference to the infamous tweet "[https://twitter.com/agnoster/status/44636629423497217 git gets easier once you get the basic idea that branches are homeomorphic endofunctors mapping submanifolds of a Hilbert space]" which has been [http://www.beyondjava.net/blog/git-explained-in-really-simple-words/ discussed here] but it is inconclusive whether a meaningful interpretation exists.

Putting a telephone number of someone who "understands git" into such a file is humorous because:
*Software teams would more normally use electronic means of communication
*Explaining git over the phone to team members should not be necessary, as there is extensive help available online, and
*In the situation where many team members would need phone support to avoid or fix basic git problems, this would be extremely distracting to the person whose phone number was given in the file.

=== TL;DR===
In short: programmers use {{w|Version control|version control systems}} to track changes to code. Most of these version control systems are quite similar and easy to learn if you already know another one. Git is a version control system based on completely different principles, and most programmers find it difficult to wrap their heads around it (although Git also offers a large number of nontrivial benefits over standard version control systems, which is why it is used). Cueball is one of those programmers.

The comic [[1296]] also features git.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball points to a computer on a desk while Ponytail and Hairy are standing further away behind an office chair.]
:Cueball: This is git. It tracks collaborative work on projects through a beautiful distributed graph theory tree model.
:Ponytail: Cool. How do we use it?
:Cueball: No idea. Just memorize these shell commands and type them to sync up. If you get errors, save your work elsewhere, delete the project, and download a fresh copy.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Internet]]

1497: New Products

2015-11-24T22:20:16Z

Despairbear: /* Explanation */ clarify why dotcom is untrustworthy (it's because of his being convicted of ~twenty charges of fraud and embezzlement, not his copyright behavior)

{{comic
| number = 1497
| date = March 11, 2015
| title = New Products
| image = new products.png
| titletext = If you ever hear "Wait, is that Kim Dotcom's new project? I'm really excited about it and already signed up, although I'm a little nervous about whether everyone should hand over control of their medical...", it's time to dig a bunker in your backyard.
}}
==Explanation==
This comic points out an apparent paradox in product performance: Many products that are [https://www.google.com/search?q=No+wireless+Less+space+than+a+nomad+Lame criticized by techies when first announced] go on to great success, and many that are heavily hyped are total flops. The product in question may be a reference to the {{w|Apple Watch}}, which was announced around the time of this comic's release.

{| class="wikitable"
! If they say...
! Explanation
! Example
|-
|"It doesn't do anything new"
|A product that "doesn't do anything new" may still be successful for a variety of reasons. It may in fact do something new that the engineers and programmers are overlooking, or it may simply be a better presentation of an older idea that so far hasn't caught on among the general public. This latter category is the completion of the life-cycle mentioned later in the comic, those products whose "ideas will show up in something successful."
|{{w|iPod}}, {{w|iPad}}
|-
|"Why would anyone want that?"
|If engineers and programmers can't figure out why anyone would want a product, it may be because the applications are highly avant-garde or niche (though that could make it hard for the product to be a mass success). Alternatively, engineers and programmers themselves often don't share the tastes and priorities of non-technical people, and are therefore unable to understand and accurately assess the appeal that a product will have to the masses.
|{{w|Twitter}}, {{w|MacBook Air}}
|-
|"Really exciting"
|rowspan="2"|Products that are "really exciting" to engineers and programmers, so much so that they have already pre-ordered them, may fail to succeed for various reasons, such as:
*The product is excellent, but costs too much for mass audiences.
*The product has an unintuitive interface or strange aesthetics, which techies are willing to "live with", but regular people are not.
*The product has bad marketing; the masses never "get" how good the product is.
*The product turns out to be "nerd bait" or {{w|vaporware}}, offering visionary ideas that aren't actually feasible yet.
When a later product is based on the same ideas, but without the mistakes, it will be worth billions. Then the techies will say "it doesn't do anything new".
|{{w|NeXT}}
|-
|"I've already preordered one"
|[http://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2014/07/how-one-kickstarter-project-squandered-3-5-million/ myIDkey]
{{w|Ubuntu_Edge}}
|-
|"Wait, are you talking about <unfamiliar person's name>'s new project?"
|If a product's developer's name is well-known among engineers and programmers, but not among the general public, that's usually not a good sign. Quite likely, the developer is someone who goes a step further than those in the previous category, not just announcing something cool and exciting they can't follow through on, but doing so ''knowing'' that they can't follow through yet still taking people's money. The state may press criminal charges against them (for fraud or such), or the angry investors may sue to get their money back.
|{{w|Shawn Fanning}}
|-
|"I would never put <company> in charge of managing my <whatever>"
|If engineers' and programmers' only objection is that they don't like the company behind the product, that's basically a tacit admission that there's nothing else wrong with it. For the average consumer, the perks of a groundbreaking new product outweigh whatever problems they may have with the company behind it. This category also relates to the numerous privacy concerns raised about the devices and software of certain companies, and the way people tend to get riled up about these issues and then forget about them once it becomes too inconvenient. For instance, a few months ago, in the aftermath of Facebook releasing its Messenger app, it would not be uncommon to hear people say "I would never put Facebook in charge of managing my network connectivity/phone calls/camera". However, 6 months later and barely anyone is complaining anymore, and within another year or so even the most hardline of privacy advocates will probably give in.
|[https://www.google.com/search?q=apple+OR+google+OR+microsoft+OR+amazon+"is+evil" take your pick]
|}

The title text imagines a product that fits into the second, third and fourth categories:
* "Wait, is that Kim Dotcom's new project?" — third category
* "I'm really excited about it and already signed up." — both options from the second category
* "Although I'm a little nervous about whether everyone should hand over control of their medical..." — fourth category

{{w|Kim Dotcom}} is a controversial entrepreneur and [http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/who-kim-dotcom-timeline-his-life-1442384 convicted fraud]. He {{w|Kim Dotcom#Personal life|changed his surname}} to "Dotcom" because of the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot-com stock market bubble}} that made him a millionaire. He fits perfectly into the mold of someone well-known to programmers and engineers (as well as New Zealanders), but perhaps not so much to your average Joe.

Taken together, these imply that an untrustworthy and potentially malicious company has an exciting new idea that may eventually come out in successful form, gains control of a large amount of medical information, but ultimately result in lawsuits not just from investors but from misled consumers (category 3). Because the initial release will be a flop (category 2), there is some time to prepare before the successful use of this idea becomes a reality (also category 2), at which point that or some other company will gain control of a large amount of people's medical something (category 4). Once this happens you could expect dramatic repercussions; this is why the title text suggests to dig a bunker while there is still time.

==Transcript==
:'''Predicting the success or failure of a new product'''
:based on what engineers and programmers are saying about it

:[A two-column table illustrating this. The headings are actually standing above the table.]
:{| class="wikitable alternance"
! If they say...
! It means...
|-
| "It doesn't do anything new"
|rowspan="2"|The product will be<br>
a gigantic success.
|-
| "Why would anyone want that?"
|-
| "Really exciting"
|rowspan="2"| The product will be a flop.<br>
Years later, its ideas will<br>
show up in something successful.
|-
|"I've already preorded one"
|-
| "Wait, are you talking about<br>
<unfamiliar person's name>'s<br>
new project?"
| The product could be<br>
a scam and may result<br>
in arrests or lawsuits.
|-
| "I would never put<br>
<company> in charge of<br>
managing my <whatever>."
| Within five years, they will.
|}

==Trivia==
*There is a typo in the comic: "Preorded" should have been "preordered".

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people‏‎]]

Talk:1536: The Martian

2015-08-05T01:56:01Z

Despairbear:

I'm too [[User:ẞ qwertz|ẞ qwertz]] ([[User talk:ẞ qwertz|talk]]) 05:46, 10 June 2015 (UTC)

It's clearly a trap. Matt Damon will try to kill them. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.155|141.101.98.155]] 11:46, 10 June 2015 (UTC)

I've found the scene from Apollo 13 Cueball is referencing: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2YZnTL596Q]]
[[User:Dahooz|Dahooz]] ([[User talk:Dahooz|talk]]) 12:39, 10 June 2015 (UTC)
:Thanks was just asking for this in the incomplete mark. Then I noticed you had posted the link. It is now part of the explain. And it is also a great explanation of that the scene by [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]]. Seems complete to me now. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 19:04, 10 June 2015 (UTC)

The 'official' explanation says that "...the plot is a cross between Apollo 13 (but on Mars) and Robinson Crusoe." So is this a remake of — or have anything else in common with — the cheesy 1964 sci-fi classic "Robinson Crusoe on Mars"? [[User:RAGBRAIvet|RAGBRAIvet]] ([[User talk:RAGBRAIvet|talk]]) 17:03, 10 June 2015 (UTC)

:Looking at the synopsis on both, the only difference I see is that the old one has a monkey. I didn't like the movie knowing Matt Damon was in it. Now it is just worse. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.172|108.162.238.172]] 02:52, 11 June 2015 (UTC)BK201

If memory serves, the Apollo 13 CO2 canister fix included some duct tape.
[[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.77|173.245.52.77]] 23:20, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
: That seems entirely logical. I would think that duct tape is something any space journey should include. -Pennpenn [[Special:Contributions/162.158.2.221|162.158.2.221]] 04:37, 12 June 2015 (UTC)
::And a [[wikipedia:Towel Day|towel]]! [[Special:Contributions/173.245.53.151|173.245.53.151]] 11:43, 13 June 2015 (UTC)
::Also the cover torn off the flight manual. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.155|108.162.238.155]] 13:29, 12 June 2015 (UTC)

::I just finished reading the book. Watney raves about duct tape after talking about how NASA can spend money improving everything except duct tape. He manages to fix air leaks and stuff with it. [[User:tspilk|tspilk]] ([[User talk:tspilk|talk]]) 15:06, 12 June 2015 (UTC)
:::There is an improvement over duct tape, it's gaffer tape. Always carry them both and engage in a lengthy technical discussion when people assume they are the same thing. [[User:Ralfoide|Ralfoide]] ([[User talk:Ralfoide|talk]]) 16:32, 14 June 2015 (UTC)
:::It's funny that duct tape has so many uses that it's surprising when someone actually uses it to repair a duct. [[User:Despairbear|Despairbear]] ([[User talk:Despairbear|talk]]) 01:56, 5 August 2015 (UTC)

332: Gyroscopes

2015-06-04T00:28:30Z

Despairbear: clarify that cueball isn't bothered in the sense of afraid, but bothered in the sense of the inexplicable

{{comic
| number = 332
| date = October 22, 2007
| title = Gyroscopes
| image = gyroscopes.png
| titletext = We didn't actually land on the moon -- it just looked like we did because of precession. Also, gyroscopes caused 9/11.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is playing with a {{w|gyroscope}}, which is fun to him. Even though he has studied them and intellectually understands their behaviour, they still seem somewhat mysterious. At the end, the gyroscope is revealed to have the power of levitation and to apparently be a sapient lifeform - it talks to him - somewhat validating his lifelong suspicions.

In the title text, [[Randall]] is mocking the {{w|Moon landing conspiracy theories}} and refers to the {{w|Lunar precession}} in process. Gyroscopes and the lunar orbit both exhibit precession, a physical concept that non-scientists can find hard to grasp. Thus, it is a perfect subject for a lunar conspiracy theory. He goes on to claim that gyroscopes (which form part of the navigation system of every commercial airplane) were directly responsible for the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball at desk with Gyroscope.]
:Despite years of studying physics, I still find gyroscopes a little freaky.
:[Cueball starts gyroscope with a zzzzip.]
:[Gyroscope spins with a zzzzzz.]
:[Gyroscope lifts into the air.]
:Gyroscope: Greetings, Human.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Physics]]

1523: Microdrones

2015-05-12T19:45:29Z

Despairbear: clarify the drones' motivation

{{comic
| number = 1523
| date = May 11, 2015
| title = Microdrones
| image = microdrones.png
| titletext = Oh, weird, Amazon is out of butterfly nets.
}}

==Explanation==
[[File:PrimeAir200.png|frame|right|A drone from the Amazon Prime Air project|link=http://www.amazon.com/b?node=8037720011]]

{{w|Amazon Prime Air}} is a conceptual drone-based delivery system currently in development by Amazon.com. While on one level he thinks the idea is cool, [[Cueball]] worries about living in an sci-fi dystopia, with those drones flying all around him, tracking his actions, etc. In the third panel, [[Megan]] suggests to send a message to Congress, suggesting a law for making the stealing of drones legal. This would alleviate the problem of drones flying around everywhere because people would catch them to use for themselves.

This tactic may not work as well as planned; drones will likely simply fly higher or employ other security measures since there are no regulations on drone behavior.

The title text suggests one of four things:
*Amazon is out of stock of butterfly nets due to everyone purchasing them to catch drones with, implying many people had the same idea like [[Megan]].
*Amazon doesn't want people stealing their drones, so the nets are just suspiciously "unavailable".
*Non-Amazon persons controlling the drones have pre-emptively purchased them all.
*Amazon's drones have already become self aware, and have altered the database in order to prevent their capture.

The 'sci-fi dystopia' [[Cueball]] is talking about, might be a reference to {{w|Vulcan's Hammer|P.K Dick's 'Vulcan's Hammer'}}, in which the earth in the year 2029 is surrounded by black flying hammers all around humanity.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing behind Megan who sits at a desk typing on her laptop.]
:Cueball: So how do we regulate all these micro drones?
:Cueball: I mean, Amazon delivery bots sound cool...

:[Cueball stands alone surrounded by three micro drones.]
:Cueball: But I worry that overnight we'll realize we're surrounded by these things, no one will know who's controlling them, and then ''bam'', sci-fi dystopia.

:[Megan turns in her chair towards Cueball.]
:Megan: If you wanna slow it down, why not just remove all regulations, but then make drone theft legal?

:[Cueball takes his hand to his chin and Megan turns back to type on the laptop.]
:Cueball: ...I ''like'' that.
:Megan: You write to congress.
:Megan: I'll stock up on butterfly nets.

{{comic discussion}}


[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

Talk:1523: Microdrones

2015-05-12T19:44:53Z

Despairbear: fix missing word

Did someone tried? I mean, can you really catch drone with butterfly net without damaging the drone or the net? -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 12:32, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
:I know people shoot them out of the air with guns and considering the height at which they're flying, it's possible. [[User:Nk22|The Twenty-second. The Not So Only. The Nathan/Nk22]] ([[User talk:Nk22|talk]]) 12:47, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
::I think the Amazon bit is implying that Amazon is artificially making drone nets unavailable because of its own drone based delivery service. Feel free to rephrase it. {{unsigned ip|108.162.219.193}}

does this reference P.K,Dick's "Vulcan's Hammer"? {{unsigned|Docski}}
:Hmm... I don't think hammers are equal to drones, but interesting. [[User:Nk22|The Twenty-second. The Not So Only. The Nathan/Nk22]] ([[User talk:Nk22|talk]]) 16:56, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
:I think there are far too many sci-fi dystopias that this could be referencing to list them all. The Matrix immediately comes to mind, but a simple google search suggests more. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.249.162|108.162.249.162]] 05:08, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

If you removed all regulations, drone theft would be legal. If it's on your property, it belongs to you. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.227|108.162.214.227]] 18:42, 11 May 2015 (UTC)

You mean we AREN'T living in a sci-fi dystopia right now? There are skies that are patrolled by robots with missiles. {{unsigned ip|173.245.56.210}}

:Unless they're your skies, you don't live in a sci-fi dystopia. You just share a planet with one. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.227|108.162.214.227]] 23:19, 11 May 2015 (UTC)

I'm attaching a butterfly net to my drone right now. Catching high flying drones is so easy, I will attach nets to my 20 drones tomorrow. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.158|173.245.48.158]] 22:02, 11 May 2015 (UTC)BLuDgeons
: How easy is it to take over the remote controller once you have the drone in your net? Is there a fairly generic way to pair a drone to another controller? (In current designs) [[User:Taibhse|Taibhse]] ([[User talk:Taibhse|talk]]) 22:20, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
:: Shouldn't be too hard, so far all technology is hackable, only thing that stops us from hacking most hardware (drm) are the laws blocking the technology required to do so. As long as no only drone theft, but also drone hacking is legal, this might actually be more effective than expected at keeping drones out of our every-day life. Then again, a wild west for drones might make most practical uses for drones impossible, but hugely favour for example spy-drones, that cant be stolen because they aren't found. [[User:Dorus|Dorus]] ([[User talk:Dorus|talk]]) 11:28, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

;1243

Does this have anything to do with 1243 ? I mean it suggest largely the same thing just on a different scale

[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.89|141.101.104.89]] 09:23, 12 May 2015 (UTC)Thijser
:That might be it. Especially that title text: 'It's going in A collection of satellites skewered with pins and mounted in display boxes.' [[User:Nk22|The Twenty-second. The Not So Only. The Nathan/Nk22]] ([[User talk:Nk22|talk]]) 16:59, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

I deleted this explanation.
:Alternatively, the title text could be interpreted to mean that the drones have already become self aware, and are incorrectly listing the nets as out of stock to prevent their capture.
Maybe we should create [[1523: Microdrones/Funny explanations for 12 year olds]]. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.144|108.162.238.144]] 14:43, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

:It is also my interpretation that the Amazon drones have altered the Amazon database to list the nets as out of stock. Your comments regarding "12 year olds" are... needless. -[[User:452|452]] ([[User talk:452|talk]]) 15:06, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

::Moreover, this is, if not a humor site per se, at least a site with a habit of deadpan humor building upon the essential humor of the comics. Furthermore, the anonymous use of unfounded ad hominem attacks to subtract such humor makes one sound like a meanyhead spoilsport. [[User:Despairbear|Despairbear]] ([[User talk:Despairbear|talk]])

France has started trying to catch drones with a drone dragging a net recently. I thought this might be a reference to the [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2948062/The-drone-catcher-France-reveals-flying-net-stop-terrorists-flying-bomb-laden-gadgets-nuclear-power-stations-following-spate-sightings.html Malou Tech drone Interceptor] [[Special:Contributions/108.162.215.184|108.162.215.184]] 16:27, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

Talk:1523: Microdrones

2015-05-12T19:44:00Z

Despairbear: :-(

Did someone tried? I mean, can you really catch drone with butterfly net without damaging the drone or the net? -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 12:32, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
:I know people shoot them out of the air with guns and considering the height at which they're flying, it's possible. [[User:Nk22|The Twenty-second. The Not So Only. The Nathan/Nk22]] ([[User talk:Nk22|talk]]) 12:47, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
::I think the Amazon bit is implying that Amazon is artificially making drone nets unavailable because of its own drone based delivery service. Feel free to rephrase it. {{unsigned ip|108.162.219.193}}

does this reference P.K,Dick's "Vulcan's Hammer"? {{unsigned|Docski}}
:Hmm... I don't think hammers are equal to drones, but interesting. [[User:Nk22|The Twenty-second. The Not So Only. The Nathan/Nk22]] ([[User talk:Nk22|talk]]) 16:56, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
:I think there are far too many sci-fi dystopias that this could be referencing to list them all. The Matrix immediately comes to mind, but a simple google search suggests more. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.249.162|108.162.249.162]] 05:08, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

If you removed all regulations, drone theft would be legal. If it's on your property, it belongs to you. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.227|108.162.214.227]] 18:42, 11 May 2015 (UTC)

You mean we AREN'T living in a sci-fi dystopia right now? There are skies that are patrolled by robots with missiles. {{unsigned ip|173.245.56.210}}

:Unless they're your skies, you don't live in a sci-fi dystopia. You just share a planet with one. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.227|108.162.214.227]] 23:19, 11 May 2015 (UTC)

I'm attaching a butterfly net to my drone right now. Catching high flying drones is so easy, I will attach nets to my 20 drones tomorrow. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.158|173.245.48.158]] 22:02, 11 May 2015 (UTC)BLuDgeons
: How easy is it to take over the remote controller once you have the drone in your net? Is there a fairly generic way to pair a drone to another controller? (In current designs) [[User:Taibhse|Taibhse]] ([[User talk:Taibhse|talk]]) 22:20, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
:: Shouldn't be too hard, so far all technology is hackable, only thing that stops us from hacking most hardware (drm) are the laws blocking the technology required to do so. As long as no only drone theft, but also drone hacking is legal, this might actually be more effective than expected at keeping drones out of our every-day life. Then again, a wild west for drones might make most practical uses for drones impossible, but hugely favour for example spy-drones, that cant be stolen because they aren't found. [[User:Dorus|Dorus]] ([[User talk:Dorus|talk]]) 11:28, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

;1243

Does this have anything to do with 1243 ? I mean it suggest largely the same thing just on a different scale

[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.89|141.101.104.89]] 09:23, 12 May 2015 (UTC)Thijser
:That might be it. Especially that title text: 'It's going in A collection of satellites skewered with pins and mounted in display boxes.' [[User:Nk22|The Twenty-second. The Not So Only. The Nathan/Nk22]] ([[User talk:Nk22|talk]]) 16:59, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

I deleted this explanation.
:Alternatively, the title text could be interpreted to mean that the drones have already become self aware, and are incorrectly listing the nets as out of stock to prevent their capture.
Maybe we should create [[1523: Microdrones/Funny explanations for 12 year olds]]. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.144|108.162.238.144]] 14:43, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

:It is also my interpretation that the Amazon drones have altered the Amazon database to list the nets as out of stock. Your comments regarding "12 year olds" are... needless. -[[User:452|452]] ([[User talk:452|talk]]) 15:06, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

::Moreover, this is, if not a humor site per se, at least a site with a habit of deadpan humor building upon the essential humor of the comics. Furthermore, the use of unfounded ad hominem attacks to subtract such humor makes one sound like a meanyhead spoilsport. [[User:Despairbear|Despairbear]] ([[User talk:Despairbear|talk]])

France has started trying to catch drones with a drone dragging a net recently. I thought this might be a reference to the [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2948062/The-drone-catcher-France-reveals-flying-net-stop-terrorists-flying-bomb-laden-gadgets-nuclear-power-stations-following-spate-sightings.html Malou Tech drone Interceptor] [[Special:Contributions/108.162.215.184|108.162.215.184]] 16:27, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

1523: Microdrones

2015-05-11T22:54:01Z

Despairbear: re-add crazy explanation, because it is hilarious.

{{comic
| number = 1523
| date = May 11, 2015
| title = Microdrones
| image = microdrones.png
| titletext = Oh, weird, Amazon is out of butterfly nets.
}}

==Explanation==
[[File:PrimeAir200.png|frame|right|A drone from the Amazon Prime Air project|link=http://www.amazon.com/b?node=8037720011]]

{{w|Amazon Prime Air}} is a conceptual drone-based delivery system currently in development by Amazon.com. While on one level he thinks the idea is cool, [[Cueball]] worries about living in an sci-fi dystopia, with those drones flying all around him, tracking his actions, etc. In the third panel, [[Megan]] suggests to send a message to Congress, suggesting a law for making the stealing of drones legal. This would alleviate the problem of drones flying around everywhere because people would catch them to use for themselves.

This tactic may not work as well as planned; drones will likely simply fly higher or employ other security measures since there are no regulations on drone behavior.

The title text suggests that Amazon is out of stock of butterfly nets due to everyone purchasing them to catch drones with, or it could be that Amazon doesn't want people stealing its own drones, so the nets are just suspiciously "unavailable". Alternatively, the title text could be interpreted to mean that the drones have already become self aware, and are incorrectly listing the nets as out of stock to prevent their capture.

The 'sci-fi dystopia' [[Cueball]] is talking about, might be a reference to {{w|Vulcan's Hammer|P.K Dick's 'Vulcan's Hammer'}}, in which the earth in the year 2029 is surrounded by black flying hammers all around humanity.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing behind Megan who sits at a desk typing on her laptop.]
:Cueball: So how do we regulate all these micro drones?
:Cueball: I mean, Amazon delivery bots sound cool...

:[Cueball stands alone surrounded by three micro drones.]
:Cueball: But I worry that overnight we'll realize we're surrounded by these things, no one will know who's controlling them, and then ''bam'', sci-fi dystopia.

:[Megan turns in her chair towards Cueball.]
:Megan: If you wanna slow it down, why not just remove all regulations, but then make drone theft legal?

:[Cueball takes his hand to his chin and Megan turns back to type on the laptop.]
:Cueball: ...I ''like'' that.
:Megan: You write to congress.
:Megan: I'll stock up on butterfly nets.

{{comic discussion}}


[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

1503: Squirrel Plan

2015-03-27T07:26:26Z

Despairbear: remove unnecessary clause (brevity is wit)

{{comic
| number = 1503
| date = March 25, 2015
| title = Squirrel Plan
| image = squirrel plan.png
| titletext = [Halfway to the Sun ...] Heyyyy ... what if this BALLOON is full of acorns?!
}}

==Explanation==

===Squirrel cosmology===
These particular squirrels are ambitious but misguided, like the characters in the myth of {{w|Icarus}} and {{w|Daedalus}}, or the {{w|Tower of Babel}}. The squirrels' understanding of astrophysics is lacking, regarding the distance to the sun and appropriate transportation to reach it (in addition to the need to resist the sun's heat and exist in the vacuum of space). It can be seen as a joke about how limited the knowledge of humans still is regarding many advanced topics of science. The idea of taking a balloon to the moon or the sun might not have been immediately rejected even a few hundred years ago. And the fanciful notion of a sun filled with acorns (the ultimate object in a squirrel's reality) is reminiscent of many early human ideas about heaven and celestial objects, even the common old myth that the moon might be made out of cheese.

The title text reveals that "halfway to the sun," 75 million kilometers from all known acorns in our universe, the airborne squirrel seems to jeopardize the entire mission because he wants to test if the balloon itself is full of acorns. Basic observational skills will tell anyone that acorns do not float, but the idea follows the logic stated by the squirrels: If the sun, being so magnificent, must be full of acorns, then a balloon powerful enough to take a squirrel to the sun must also be powered by something amazing, like acorns.

In the real world [http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=1020.0 helium balloons cannot escape the stratosphere.] Perhaps the squirrel only ''thinks'' he's halfway to the sun. Or maybe the acorns in the balloon are pushing on the [[1404:_Quantum_Vacuum_Virtual_Plasma|quantum vacuum virtual plasma]].

Alternate hypothesis: this scene is almost identical to a scene found in the recent movie Kingsman: TSS.

===Squirrels in xkcd===
Squirrels are often used in xkcd and ''What if?'' comics as a way of avoiding reality. Maybe [[Randall]] is going through a tough time this week.

'''Comics:'''
*[[635: Locke and Demosthenes]]
*[[776: Still No Sleep]]
*[[1156: Conditioning]]

'''What if?:'''
*[http://what-if.xkcd.com/21/ Machine Gun Jetpack]
*[http://what-if.xkcd.com/98/ Blood Alcohol]
*[http://what-if.xkcd.com/102/ Keyboard Power]
*[http://what-if.xkcd.com/105/ Cannibalism]

'''Blag:'''
*[http://blog.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/the-laser-elevator/ The Laser Elevator]

==Trivia==

It is commonly believed that real squirrels use their ''tails'' as parachutes, although as yet [http://io9.com/5946627/squirrel-hurls-itself-through-a-fourth-story-window-scampers-off-unscathed "there have been no observational studies on the aerodynamics of free-falling squirrels."]

==Transcript==
:[There are three squirrels. One is suspended from a balloon. The other two are sitting on the ground, looking up at it.]

:Squirrel to the right: Once you've chewed a hole in the sun, shoot the balloon to fall back to earth, then pull the parachute ripcord to land.

:Squirrel tied to balloon: Are you '''''sure''''' it's full of acorns?

:Squirrel to the right: Look how bright and magnificent it is! What ''else'' could be in there?
{{comic discussion}}



[[Category:Animals]]

921: Delivery Notification

2015-03-13T01:06:28Z

Despairbear: /* Explanation */ specify species of delivery person

{{comic
| number = 921
| date = July 6, 2011
| title = Delivery Notification
| image = delivery_notification.png
| titletext = You can arrange a pickup of your sword in Rivendell between the hours of noon and 7:00 PM.
}}

==Explanation==
In the US, when the package delivery company {{w|UPS}} knocks on your door or rings your doorbell and cannot reach you, they leave a delivery attempt notification stuck to your door. An example is shown in the first panel.

This comic hints that the threshold for the UPS delivery person to leave such a notice is unreasonably low. The delivery personnel make only a token effort to deliver the package (which, incidentally, is their only actual job) before posting the yellow delivery notification and unconcernedly driving away to their next delivery.

After missing the delivery, [[Cueball]] (who is directly referencing {{w|Lord of the Rings}}) asks the Elves to reforge the sword in order to go on a quest to retrieve his new laptop. In Lord of the Rings, {{w|Aragorn}} (accepting his role as the heir to the king of men) had the sword of {{w|Isildur}} called {{w|Narsil}} reforged (which symbolizes the reuniting of the race of man under one leader). Cueball obviously views the UPS building as a dangerous and impenetrable fortress, and possession of such a sword is the only way to guarantee success in his quest.

Ironically, when the elves come to deliver the new sword, the delivery elf is unable to raise anyone in the house, and simply leaves another delivery notification.

In the title text, {{w|Rivendell}} is one of the home of the elves. The broken shards of Narsil lived in Rivendell with {{w|Elrond}} and his elves. The sorting depot of Rivendell has the same, limited opening hours as the UPS. It is apparent that Cueball will not be getting his laptop in time for his flight.

==Transcript==
:[The first panel is a UPS InfoNotice(r). Most of the text on it is just scribbles, though the company logo and header is clear.]

:[A person opens their door to see the InfoNotice(r). From off panel, a second person reacts.]
:Person: ''What!'' I've been here all day!
:Off-panel person 2: Huh?
:Person: They have my laptop.

:[Now both people are visible. The first is making an expansive gesture of annoyance.]
:Person 2: So get it tomorrow.
:Person: I fly out in the morning and they don't open till noon!
:Person 2: Sucks.

:[The first person is at a laptop. The second is once again off-panel.]
:Person: It's ''right there''. I can see the UPS building on the map.
:Off-panel person 2: Ok...

:[Dramatic zoom to the person's upper torso and face, along with clenched fist.]
:Person: My laptop is there. It's ''mine''.
:Person: I'm going to get it.

:[Even more dramatic zoom! The person's featureless face fills the panel.]
:Off-panel person 2: They won't let you.
:Person: Who are they to keep from me what is mine?
:Off-panel person 2: Dude, they—

:[The person spins, raising a finger, most likely to indicate some sort of quest at hand.]
:Person: A quest is at hand!
:Off-panel person 2: Security's gonna throw you out.
:Person: I fear neither death nor pain. But I will not go unarmed.

:(Three inset panels overlap, in a montage format. The person narrates.)
:[Elves in long robes stand around a table, on which lies a broken sword.]
:Narrating person: Light the beacons and send word to the Elves. They must reforge the sword of my fathers.

:[An Elf beats the sword together on an anvil.]

:[An Elf rides a horse, silhouetted by the full moon.]
:Narrating person: Ere dawn, I will go forth to the Sorting Depot.

:(The montage ends and normal panels resume.)
:[The Elf knocks at the door, sword in scabbard held under arm.]
:''Knock knock knock knock''

:[The person opens the door, to find a second InfoNotice(r) stuck on top of the first. The Elf is gone.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:LOTR]]

1497: New Products

2015-03-11T21:12:06Z

Despairbear: specify the crime of which Dotcom was convicted

{{comic
| number = 1497
| date = March 11, 2015
| title = New Products
| image = new products.png
| titletext = If you ever hear "Wait, is that Kim Dotcom's new project? I'm really excited about it and already signed up, although I'm a little nervous about whether everyone should hand over control of their medical...", it's time to dig a bunker in your backyard.
}}

== Explanation ==
This comic points out an apparent paradox in product performance: Many products that are [https://www.google.com/search?q=No+wireless+Less+space+than+a+nomad+Lame criticized by techies when first announced] go on to great success, and many that are heavily hyped are total flops. The product in question may be a reference to the {{w|Apple Watch}}, which was announced around the time of this comic's release.

{| class="wikitable"
! If they say...
! Explanation
! Example
|-
|"It doesn't do anything new"
|A product that "doesn't do anything new" may still be successful for a variety of reasons. It may in fact do something new that the engineers and programmers are overlooking, or it may simply be a better presentation of an older idea. This latter category is the completion of the life-cycle mentioned later in the comic, those products whose "ideas will show up in something successful."
|{{w|iPod}}
|-
|"Why would anyone want that?"
|If engineers and programmers can't figure out why anyone would want a product, that may actually be because the applications are highly avant-garde or niche. Although then it would never become a big success! Engineers and programmers themselves may be in a niche that doesn't share the tastes and priorities of non-technical people, and are therefore unable to understand and accurately assess the appeal that a product will have to the masses.
|{{w|iPad}}
|-
|"Really exciting"
|rowspan="2"|Products that are "really exciting" to engineers and programmers, so much so that they have already pre-ordered them, may fail to succeed for two reasons.

First, the product may have flaws that techies consider unimportant, but matter to the general public. These may include bad marketing (the masses don't hear about or "get" how good the product is), an unintuitive design or implementation (which more technical users may be able to "live with", but regular people may not be able or willing), or something as simple as a lack of aesthetics (which decreases appeal for use by owners and may temper the fervor which might otherwise encourage further sales).

Alternately, the product could turn out to be "nerd bait," so to speak. The developers promise a cool, groundbreaking new gadget or service, and people get so excited by the idea that they ignore whether or not it's actually feasible. When the developers can't follow through, unsurprisingly, the product flops. The ideas that it proposed, which were so intriguing to the programmers and the developers, will be worth billions once someone can figure out how to realize them.
|{{w|NeXT}}
|-
|"I've already preordered one"
|[http://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2014/07/how-one-kickstarter-project-squandered-3-5-million/ myIDkey]
|-
|"Wait, are you talking about <unfamiliar person's name>'s new project?"
|If a product's developer's name is well-known among engineers and programmers, but not among the general public, that's usually not a good sign. Quite likely, the developer is someone who goes a step farther than those in the previous category, not just announcing something cool and exciting they can't follow through on, but doing so ''knowing'' that they can't follow through yet still taking people's money. The state may press criminal charges against them (for fraud or such), or the angry investors may sue to get their money back.
|{{w|Shawn Fanning}}
|-
|"I would never put <company> in charge of managing my <whatever>"
|If engineers' and programmers' only objection is that they don't like the company behind the product, that's basically a tacit admission that there's nothing else wrong with it. For the average consumer, the perks of a groundbreaking new product outweigh whatever problems they may have with the company behind it. This category also relates to the numerous privacy concerns raised about the devices and software of certain companies, and the way people tend to get riled up about these issues and then forget about them once it becomes too inconvenient. For instance, a few months ago, in the aftermath of Facebook releasing its Messenger app, it would not be uncommon to hear people say "I would never put Facebook in charge of managing my network connectivity/phone calls/camera". However, 6 months later and barely anyone is complaining anymore, and within another year or so even the most hardline of privacy advocates will probably give in.
|[https://www.google.com/search?q=apple+OR+google+OR+microsoft+OR+amazon+"is+evil" take your pick]
|}

The title text imagines a product that fits into the second and third category: "Wait, is that Kim Dotcom's new project? [= third category]. I'm really excited about it and already signed up. [= both options from the second category]. It does not fit into the fourth category, since he actually already has signed up, and would thus let someone manage his medical records.

{{w|Kim Dotcom}} is a controversial entrepreneur and convicted fraud. He even {{w|Kim_Dotcom#Personal_life|changed his surname}} to Dotcom because of the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot.com stock market bubble}} that made him a millionaire. He fits perfectly into the mould of someone well-known to programmers and engineers, but perhaps not so much to your average Joe.

According to the chart, such a product would according to 2 from above flop, and according to 3 turn out to be a scam. It will, however, not necessarily end up in control of whatever it wants to control, because as per 2 that would at least have to be another project released several years later. This does, however, still not sound good, and may even suggest the rise of some sort of malicious overtaking of our society starting when it acquires our medical records. (The people who are fooled would have handed those over by their own free will, in their excitement about this new fancy product.) Thus the suggestion to dig a bunker.

==Transcript==
:'''Predicting the success or'''
:'''failure of a new product'''
:based on what engineers and
:programmers are saying about it

:[A two-column table illustrating this. The headings are actually standing above the table.]
:{| class="wikitable alternance"
! If they say...
! It means...
|-
| "It doesn't do anything new"
|rowspan="2"|The product will be<div>
a gigantic success.
|-
| "Why would anyone want that?"
|-
| "Really exciting"
|rowspan="2"| The product will be a flop.<div>
Years later, its ideas will<div>
show up in something successful.
|-
|"I've already preorded one"
|-
| "Wait, are you talking about<div>
<unfamiliar person's name>'s<div>
new project?"
| The product could be<div>
a scam and may result<div>
in arrests or lawsuits.
|-
| "I would never put<div>
<company> in charge of<div>
managing my <whatever>."
| Within five years, they will.
|}

== Trivia ==
* There is a typo on the first upload. "Preorded" should be "preordered".

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people‏‎]]

1451: Background Screens

2015-03-10T00:43:20Z

Despairbear: /* Explanation */ what evidence do we have that aliens prefer densely populated regions?

{{comic
| number = 1451
| date = November 24, 2014
| title = Background Screens
| image = background_screens.png
| titletext = No way, we gotta rewind and cross-reference this map with the list of coordinates we saw on the other screen. This Greenland thing could be big.
}}

==Explanation==
Plot and characters are generally the parts a movie that most people presumably pay attention to, as the plot (the story and its purpose) and the characters (the emotional connection and character development) are generally the things most people find enjoyable about particular films.

[[Cueball]], however, pays particular attention to what's on the computer screens shown briefly in the background. Generally speaking, these screens are shown to the audience for a short period of time, and at a low-level of detail, just to dress a set and make a scene feel more realistic or high-tech. They may contain endless columns of gibberish or miscellaneous data flashing by in an eye-blink (only visible by freeze-framing), or cross-hairs zipping across maps.

Often the contents of the computer screens are so unimportant or hard-to-read that the filmmakers do not bother to spend much time (if any at all) ensuring that what is shown on the screen is accurate or even relevant to the film. They may be designed by artists not fully aware of the details of the plot, and as a result, their content (where it is intelligible, such as in a map) can have little to no connection to the dialog or other story events going on in front of them. They sometimes even contain jokes. It is rare, if ever, that important information would be communicated to the viewer through background computer screens. Hence, Cueball's spending most of his time watching the screens seems counter-intuitive to understanding and enjoying the film.

{{w|Greenland}}, a large island east of Canada, is 80% covered in ice up to several kilometers in depth, and has a population of fewer than 100,000 people. It is an unlikely place for aliens to land, who generally prefer more densely-populated locations.{{Citation needed}} In the title text, Cueball suggests investigating how a list of coordinates from another background screen relates to the location of the alien craft in Greenland, suggesting that Cueball thinks the filmmakers may have intended the viewers to record the information early in the film and analyze the data to learn relevant plot information - something that is very unlikely. Most of the time, filmmakers take efforts to ensure the audience can easily follow plot points by making them more obvious than they might be in reality.

==Transcript==
:What I pay attention to in movies:
:[A pie chart with a small piece (5%) in the upper right part labeled:]
:Plot, characters
:[The rest of the chart (95%) is labeled:]
:Computer screens shown briefly in the background

:[Below the chart Cueball, sitting on the floor, and Hairy, sitting in an armchair, are watching a movie on the TV. Cueball points the remote at the TV.]
:Cueball: Hang on– That blurry map behind the general shows one of the alien ships is in ''Greenland''! Why '''''Greenland?!'''''
:Hairy [quietly]: Can we ''please'' just watch the movie?

==Trivia==
*There are a number of websites which specialize in documenting computer screens as seen in movies, including: (partial list - please expand/improve)
**[http://www.reddit.com/r/itsaunixsystem Reddit] - It's a Unix System I know This!
**[http://waxy.org/2013/07/screens_on_screen/ Waxy.Org] - Screens on Screen.
**[http://www.theguardian.com/technology/shortcuts/2014/jan/10/computer-code-in-film-movie-terminator-girl-dragon-tattoo The Guardian] - Computer Code in Films.
**[http://moviecode.tumblr.com Moviecode tumblr]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Charts]]

1496: Art Project

2015-03-10T00:38:40Z

Despairbear: fix punc (add hyphen)

{{comic
| number = 1496
| date = March 9, 2015
| title = Art Project
| image = art project.png
| titletext = It's my most ambitious project yet, judging by the amount of guacamole.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic appears to be satirizing {{w|art}} in two different ways. From one perspective, [[Randall]] is describing various art forms in unusual ways (e.g., a portrait by [[Cueball]], a video for the [[Megan]]-like girl with short hair (see [[#Note on Megan like girls|note]] below), and perhaps live performance by [[Ponytail]]). From another perspective, Randall might be making fun of {{w|Time-lapse photography|time-lapse photography}} movies. {{w|YouTube}} has a robust collection of videos taken from stitching together pictures or short video clips taken every day or every week; in the {{w|87th Academy Awards|2015 Academy Awards}}, one of the Best Picture nominees, {{w|Boyhood (film)|Boyhood}}, used a similar method, filming short sequences annually over the course of 12 years.

In each case, the art described is simpler than it sounds, and some might not consider it art. A picture of oneself "every hundred years" will only happen once (or maybe twice); a "picture every 1/24th of a second" is the standard {{w|frame rate}} for most small cameras for video, and "watching my face age in real time" is just life...

Then finally the Megan-like girl with long hair (see [[#Note on Megan-like girls|note]] below) pokes fun at all of them by simply watching their attempts at "art" while she eats a {{w|burrito}}. Randall may also be referencing the many perspectives on art by leaving this comic open to several interpretations.

The use of a burrito as a punchline representing someone who is grounded in reality instead of engaging in esoteric pursuits has been seen before in [[1269: Privacy Opinions]].

The title text is just more snark, claiming that it's long haired "Megan's" most ambitious project ever, if the sole criterion for ambition is the amount of {{w|guacamole}} used.

===Note on Megan-like girls===
There has been some debate as to whether the first or the second girl that looks like Megan is Megan or a new character. Also, the long-haired version has been compared to [[Danish]]. As Danish has really long hair and is typically more mean than ironic, this is no longer a serious contender for the last girl. The other two are, however, too close to "Megan" to decide who is who.

It is important to remember that it is "Explain xkcd" that has decided to name any girl with shoulder-length black hair "Megan"! Randall has not decreed that [[159: Boombox|any of these girls]] are Megan or even the same girl (given name or not). It is just convenient for this community to have a name for a character. The same argument applies to Cueball, but it is much more often that he appears more than once in a comic and has thus been more generally accepted as a named character than Megan.

==Transcript==
:[Four people stand next to each other]
:Cueball [taking a selfie with his smart-phone]: I'm doing an art project where I take a picture of myself every hundred years.
:Girl with short black hair [filming herself with her smart-phone]: I'm doing an art project where I take a picture of myself every <sup>1</sup>/24<sup>th</sup> of a second.
:Ponytail [pointing to her face with both hands]: I'm doing an art project where you can come to my house and watch my actual face age in real time.
:Girl with long black hair [eating a burrito]: I'm doing an art project where you all do those things while I eat a burrito.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

1402: Harpoons

2014-11-24T21:44:58Z

Despairbear: aaack I didn't mean such a major change

{{comic
| number = 1402
| date = August 1, 2014
| title = Harpoons
| image = harpoons.png
| titletext = To motivate it to fire its harpoons hard enough, Rosetta's Philae lander has been programmed to believe it is trying to kill the comet.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a graph of the number of {{w|harpoon}}s in space over time. One would not expect that harpoons, which are associated with old technology, would be used in space, which is associated with high technology. Any occurrences are unexpected, and therefore interesting or funny.

The first peak states that a harpoon was in space during the {{w|Apollo 12}} mission and various possible explanations have been put forward (See discussion section below). One of more widely accepted theories proposes that [http://www.harpoon-rum.eu/1.html Harpoon] brand of {{w|Rum#Regional variations|Jamaican rum}} made it aboard the Apollo 12 rocket. Despite a fair amount of research into the basis of the harpoon incident, there have been no credible or official sources to confirm the presence of any type of harpoon on board Apollo 12. As the presence of a harpoon on board would run counter to any official story, perhaps that's exactly why it would be considered an "incident".

The latter peak on this graph refers to the {{w|Rosetta (spacecraft)|Rosetta}} unmanned spacecraft. As part of its mission, it's carrying a lander called {{w|Philae (spacecraft)|Philae}}, which has two tethers to anchor itself to the comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. Rosetta was launched in March 2004 (as shown in the graph) and was scheduled to encounter the comet in August 2014, making this a timely comic. Rosetta maneuvered to enter orbit on September 10th, and ultimately the Philae lander touched down on the comet on 12th November 2014, although the harpoon system failed to deploy. Randall produced a live comic of the landing, updating [[1446: Landing]] every 5 minutes with the latest progress. The Rosetta spacecraft also carries a disk micro-etched with 13,000 pages of text in 1200 languages donated by the Long Now foundation, mentioned in previous comics.

This continues a recurring theme as seen in comics [[111: Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection?]] and [[231: Cat Proximity]], with two unrelated but interesting objects juxtaposed graphically with humorous results.

The title text compares the Philae lander's method of deploying its tethers to {{w|whaling}}, in which sailors would throw harpoons at a whale with the intent of killing the whale. It was important to throw hard so the harpoon would stick in the whale so it could not get away and would tow the whaling boat until it got tired and could be killed. Thus the title text implies that the spacecraft is sentient and needs a motivation to fire the harpoons hard enough to stay anchored to the comet; to this end it has been programmed to believe that its mission is to kill the comet. Evidently this motivation was not enough, as Philae ultimately failed to deploy its harpoons - it still managed to land, though.

==Transcript==
:'''Number of harpoons in space'''
:by year
:[A chart with a red graph is drawn below.]
:[The y-axis.]
:0 1 2 3
:[The x-axis.]
:1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 2010 2020
:[The graph is at zero until a sharp peak to 1 in 1970. The peak is labeled.]
:Apollo 12 rum incident
:[The graph then stays at 0 until 2004. Then it rises to 2 and stays there until today, continuing as a dotted line after 2014. The rise is labeled.]
:Rosetta comet mission launched carrying lander with harpoon tethers

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1402: Harpoons

2014-11-24T21:42:48Z

Despairbear: try a different joke here

{{comic
| number = 1402
| date = August 1, 2014
| title = Harpoons
| image = harpoons.png
| titletext = To motivate it to fire its harpoons hard enough, Rosetta's Philae lander has been programmed to believe it is trying to kill the comet.
}}

==Explanation==
Once again, Randall thinks some funny little coincidence is cool and drew a graph about it for humorous juxtaposition. In this case, it's the fact that man-made {{w|harpoon}}s (which is admittedly a cool word) have been placed among the equipment for a space flight. According to Randall, this has happened twice.

The latter peak on this graph refers to the {{w|Rosetta (spacecraft)|Rosetta}} unmanned spacecraft. As part of its mission, it's carrying a lander (called {{w|Philae (spacecraft)|Philae}}), which has two tethers to anchor itself to the comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. Rosetta was launched in March 2004 (as shown in the graph) and is scheduled to encounter the comet in August 2014, making this a timely comic.

The first peak is probably a joke. Officially, {{w|Apollo 12}} carried neither harpoons nor rum. However, as a former NASA contractor, Randall may know more about space shenanigans than the general public, and may be implying (perhaps jokingly) that a bottle of the [http://www.harpoon-rum.eu/1.html Harpoon] brand of {{w|Rum#Regional variations|Jamaican rum}} made it aboard.

The title text compares the Philae lander's method of deploying its tethers to whaling, in which sailors would throw harpoons at a whale with the intent of killing the whale. It was important to throw hard so the harpoon would stick in the whale so it could not get away and would tow the whaling boat until it got tired and could be killed.

It is implied that the spacecraft is sentient, and needs a motivation to fire the harpoons hard ennough to stay anchored to the comet. It has thus been programmed to believe that its mission is to kill the comet. This is obviously a joke, as comets are inanimate and cannot be killed.

==Transcript==
:'''Number of harpoons in space'''
:by year
:[A chart with a red graph is drawn below]
:[The y-axis]
:0 1 2 3
:[The x-axis]
:1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 2010 2020
:[The graph is at zero until a sharp peak to 1 in 1970. The peak is labeled]
:Apollo 12 rum incident
:[The graph then stays at 0 until 2004. Then it rises to 2 and stays there until today, continuing as a dotted line after 2014. The rise is labeled]
:Rosetta comet mission launched carrying lander with harpoon tethers

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]

1451: Background Screens

2014-11-24T19:32:58Z

Despairbear: fix sentence fragment

473: Still Raw

2014-11-05T01:55:17Z

Despairbear: Undo vandalism 78315 by 108.162.217.11 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 473
| date = September 8, 2008
| title = Still Raw
| image = still raw.png
| titletext = We actually divorced once over the airplane/treadmill argument. (Preemptive response to the inevitable threads arguing about it: you're all wrong on the internet.)
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has been thrown out of his house because he believes that {{w|Pluto}} should never have been a {{w|planet}}. Pluto was considered "the ninth planet" in our {{w|solar system}} between 1930 and 2006. (Jupiter was thought to be the ninth planet [http://spaceweather.com/swpod2006/13sep06/Pollock1.jpg from 1807 to 1845.)] In 2006 the {{w|IAU}} reclassified Pluto as a {{w|dwarf planet}}. The reasons are {{w|IAU_definition_of_planet|complicated}}, but the basic issue is, like {{w|1 Ceres|Ceres}}, {{w|2 Pallas|Pallas}}, {{w|3 Juno|Juno}}, and {{w|4 Vesta|Vesta}}, Pluto is too small to {{w|clearing the neighbourhood|function as a planet}} in the solar system. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_2gbGXzFbs Here is a good explanation.]

In the title text, the airplane/treadmill argument starts when someone asks whether an airplane can take off while it is on a treadmill that is opposing its progress (pulling it backward). The question usually leads to arguments because it is posed ambiguously. Properly defining the question shows that the airplane can indeed take off (because its forward motion is provided by its propeller/jet engine, not its wheels, which are free to spin at any speed) and experiments (such as Mythbusters') bear this out.

http://blog.xkcd.com/2008/09/09/the-goddamn-airplane-on-the-goddamn-treadmill/

http://www.airplaneonatreadmill.com/

==Transcript==
:[Cueball laying on sidewalk outside a house, surrounded by his belongings.]
:She threw me out yelling, "You don't say those words. Not in this house."
:It's been two years. I thought the wounds had healed.
:But I stand by what I said.
:Pluto never should have been a planet.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]