explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

User:DollarStoreBa'al/WORKPAGE

2026-04-02T19:37:38Z

DollarStoreBa'al:

<big><big><big>IF YOU AREN'T DOLLARSTOREBA'AL, LEAVE NOW! IT'S A SURPRISE!!!</big></big></big>

<big><big><big><big>I MEAN IT!</big></big></big></big>

{{notice|<big><big><big><big>REMEMBER: ALWAYS PUT ON THE MOTIVATIONAL PLAYLIST BEFORE WORKING</big></big></big></big>}}
{{notice2|<big><big><big><big>ADD MORE SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST</big></big></big></big>}}
==Header Texts==
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" |Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
!Purpose
|-
|Find Archive (3074)
[[3074: Push Notifications]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was created with [http://github.com/cotrone {{Header link|Kevin Controne]}}, [https://chromakode.com {{Header link|Max Goodhart]}}, [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ {{Header link|Patrick]}}, [https://github.com/benley {{Header link|Benjamin Staffin]}}, [http://burningcandle.io/ {{Header link|Conor Stokes]}}, and [https://github.com/ayust {{Header link|Amber]}}.}}}}}
|This comic's header text gives credit to those who helped Randall create 2025's April Fools' Day comic. Each link takes you to the person's social media page, GitHub page, or personal website. At the time of writing (October 2025), this is the only comic to have a unique header text past comic #3000, meaning it's been over half a year since a comic has had a unique header.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-07-11]
[[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic accidentally inspired by 
[https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ {{Header link|this Buttersafe comic] {{Header text|from 2011!}}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions that it was 'accidentally inspired' by [https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ a Buttersafe comic]. It is assumed, but not confirmed, that the custom text was on the front page until the next comic, [[2958]], was published. The header text makes it clear that not only is he a fan of Buttersafe (as shown in the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics I enjoy]] section of [xkcd.com]), but he also did not know of the existence of this comic until after it was published. This is shown with the fact that [https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ it was not shown until the next day]. This text is permanently shown with this comic. As a special situation, this header text did not replace the current global header text, but was instead added below it at the time ([[#2024-05-15_-_Special_10th_anniversary_edition_of_WHAT_IF.3F|10th anniversary for what if?]])
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240406163326/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-04-06]
[[2916: Machine]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://github.com/spyhi Ed White], [https://twitter.com/uh_oh_thats_bad Alex Garcia], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], 
[http://burningcandle.io/ Conor & Ami Stokes], [https://liranuna.com/ Liran Nuna], [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick], 
[https://manishearth.github.io/ Manish Goregaokar],

[https://github.com/benley Benjamin Staffin], [https://github.com/ayust Amber], and [https://github.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg] with physics by [https://rapier.rs/ Rapier].}}
| This comic's header text mentions the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Saturday 6 April 2024 until [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] came out on Monday 8 April 2024. The earliest archived version of the next comic is from the following Tuesday [http://web.archive.org/web/20240409060444/https://xkcd.com/ 9 April 2024]. It is assumed that the header text changed late on Monday 8 April 2024, despite the fact that Machine was still up at that time, as shown in [https://web.archive.org/web/20240408225854/https://xkcd.com/ this archive]. When [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] was released, the front page had returned to the normal header.

As seen in the text, many people were involved. Some helped with two previous [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comics]], but there are many more involved in this comic than anything which came before it. Clicking on each person takes you to a link of their Instagram, Twitter, or the homepage of their own website/blog. In the credits, it is seen that the physics for the comic used Rapier, the Fast 2D and 3D physics engine for the {{w|Rust (programming language)| Rust programming language}}. This header text was removed from the homepage on [https://web.archive.org/web/20240409010518/https://xkcd.com/2916/ 2022-04-09], but it stayed as a permanent header for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20]
[[2765: Escape Speed]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was put together with help from [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick Clapp], 
[https://amberyu.st/ Amber], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], and [https://www.aiweirdness.com/ Janelle Shane].}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put the comic together. Despite the fact the comic was supposed to be a Wednesday release according to the archives, it was on the homepage from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20] until Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230421082400/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-21], when the next comic ([[2766: Helium Reserve]]) was released and the page returned to its normal header. This header text remains as a permanent header text for this comic.

Clicking each name takes you to their Instagram/Twitter page or the homepage of their own website/blog. Most had helped with the two previous April Fools' day comic (see below).
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|FIND ARCHIVE HERE}}
[[2729: Planet Killer Comet Margarita]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was drawn for Daniel Becker, based on 
[https://what-if.xkcd.com/162/ his winning question] submitted to the [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2 What If? 2 contest].
|This header celebrated the winner of Randall's What If? 2 Contest, being one Daniel Becker. It mentions that the comic was based off the winning question's entry into the What If? blog.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01]
[[2601: Instructions]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with 
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/chromakode @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], 
[https://twitter.com/xDirtyPunkx Conor], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01] until Tuesday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220405031003/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-05], when [[2602: Linguistics]] came out and the front page returned to its normal header.

Clicking on each of the names takes you to the person's Instagram/Twitter page. Five also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header was only related to 2601, it was removed from the frontpage header, but it stayed up as a permanent header on this specific comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01]
[[2445: Checkbox]]
|{{Header text|This comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], 
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], and [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped put it together. It was on the front page from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01] until [[2446: Spike Proteins]] released Monday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210405130031/http://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-05].

Each person has a link to their name, the first being a personal homepage, and the other six linking to their Twitter accounts. Five of these people also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header is related only to this comic, it was removed from the front page and continued as a permanent header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 2020-04-04]
[[2288: Collector's Edition]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was only on the front page for about 1 day, around the 3rd or [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 4th of April] 2020, the day before [[2289: Scenario 4]] came out, and the header text returned to normal.

Each name credited has either a personal homepage or a Twitter profile, except for the last name, which isn't linked.

As this header text was only relevant to this comic, it was removed as the front page header and stayed as a permanent header to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20171214171157/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-12-14]
[[1928: Seven Years]]
|{{Header text| Becky Beaton, sister of fellow cartoonist Kate Beaton, 
has also been diagnosed with cancer.

You can support her treatment [https://www.youcaring.com/beckybeaton-1008390 here].}}
|This text was released as a response to the cancer diagnosis of Becky Beaton, the sister of {{w|Kate Beaton}}, the author of the webcomic [http://www.harkavagrant.com/ Hark! A Vagrant]. Although this is not on Randall's list of ''[[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics he enjoys]]'', he is clearly influenced by a cancer diagnosis among someone in his creative field.

Despite the fact that the support page was discontinued, this text continues to stay on this comic. Making this weirder is the fact that Randall has previously done something similar for another friend, Emily, but [[#2014-11-27_-_Help_Emily|that header]] was not made permanent.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES WOOO!!}}
[[1975: Right Click]]
|{{Header text|A number of people collaborated to build this comic, including 
[https://chromakode.com/ @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/aiiane/ Amber] [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest/ @fadinginterest] 
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501/ Kat], [https://twitter.com/cotrone/ Kevin], and [https://90d.ca/ Stereo].
|This comic gave credit to the people that helped Randall put together that year's April Fools' Day comic. Most contributors mentioned in this text have also helped with other comics since then. Each link in the text took you to either the contributors' social media page or their own personal website.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20170428041338/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-04-28]
[[1830: ISS Solar Transit 2]]
|{{Header text|Previously:}} {{Header link|[[1828: ISS Solar Transit|ISS Solar Transit]]}}
|This header links back to [[1828: ISS Solar Transit]], a comic with the same joke setup released on the Monday of the same week
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES!}}
[[1738: Moon Shapes]]
|{{Header text|Thank you to Phil Plait for the correction on #4!}}
|This header gives credit to Phil Plait, who corrected a mistake in the comic and prompted Randall to update the comic after its release.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161010215516/http://xkcd.com/1723/ 2016-10-10]
[[1723: Meteorite Identification]]
|{{Header text|Note: Jolyon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], made a similar chart way before me!}}
|This Header text gives credit to Joylon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], who made a very similar comic to this long before Randall. This Header text is permanently attached to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160512102325/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-05-12]
[[1679: Substitutions 3]]
|{{notice|FInd the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This comic was the third installment of the ''Substitutions'' series. As he did the same with [[#Substitutions 2|the second]], the header text is very similar.

This header text is a permanent staple of this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161231231600/http://xkcd.com/1663/ 2016-04-04]
[[1663: Garden]]
|{{Header text|Protip: If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it. 
You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}
|This comic had a header text to help people use the comic when it came out. It was the global header text for some time, before it disappeared from the main header and remained as the header for Garden.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160104171722/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-01-04]
[[1625: Substitutions 2]]
|{{notice|Find the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This header text was used as a link to the previous installment of the ''substitutions'' series. When [[xkcd_Header_text#Substitutions_3|Substitutions 3]], Randall made a separate header text linking to Substitutions 1 and 2. It was on the main page while the comic was up, and continues as a header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|[F]AR[T]CHIVES}}
[[1446: Landing]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|A big thank-you to [https://www.planetary.org/blogs/emily-lakdawalla/ Emily Lakdawalla] for help and advice on this comic.}}}}}
|This header gives credit to Emily Lakdawalla, who helped Randall create the comic, which was a live comic-based recreation of the landing of Philae, a probe designed by the ESA to land on Comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. It is assumed that Emily was the reason that Randall was able to get current information about the landing so quickly.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|{{notice|notice|notice|notice|}}
[[1127: Congress]]
|{{Header text|You can get this comic as a [https://store.xkcd.com/products/congress-poster poster]!
|This header text is the only one to be a permanent header text promoting the store. At the time of writing (November 2025), the store is offline, meaning that this link doesn't work. This is the most recent comic-specific header text to promote the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-07-09]
[[1079: United Shapes]]
|{{Header text|There's a larger version of this map 
[http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ here] (Colorado is [http://xkcd.com/1079/colorado/ here]). 
It's also available as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#StateMap poster].}}
|This header was only on July 9th, 2012, the day this comic came out. The day after, every page except the front page displayed [[xkcd_Header_text#2012-07-10_-_New:_what-if.xkcd.com|a different header]].

On the 13th of July, other pages had a new version of the header above. Later, 1079 gained a special combined header text, removing the part about Colorado and consolidating the unique header text into a single sentence. The new global header text, promoting the first installment of the What if? blog, was inserted below the unique text, creating a very unique combination header. Possibly due to a bug, the What if? announcement remains on the comic to this day, despite the fact that it was a normal global header, which changed for all other pages many years ago.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|Put me down as 'not excited'}}
[[1052: Every Major's Terrible]]
|{{Header text|Cool--someone's already taken a crack at [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1VhsNOwPU/ singing this]!
|This header text promoted an attempt at someone singing the comic, which was a parody of the {{w|Major-General's Song}}. It links to a YouTube video of the attempt. As seen from the text, this header was not up with the release of the comic, but instead came out later.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120425220409/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-25]
[[1047: Approximations]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Lots of emails mention the physicist favorite, 1 year = pi x 107 seconds. 
75^4 is a hair more accurate, but it's hard to top 3,141,592's elegance.}}}}}
|This comic has a permanent header text stating that many people emailed Randall about a separate approximation for the amount of seconds in a year. However, because the earliest archive already shows this text, it is unlikely that Randall actually received these emails before changing the text.

This header text was unique to this comic from the start, as other comics contained the global header text at the time of 1047's release date.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120401151639/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-01]
[[1037: Umwelt]]
|{{Header text|You can get posters, prints, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store].}}
|This comic's header text promotes the xkcd store permanently. Despite the fact that the comic was on the front page, this was a comic-exclusive header from the very beginning, as other comics had the global header text on 1037's release date.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120319130702/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-19]
[[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]]
|{{Header text|A helpful reader has provided an [https://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 s/keyboard/leopard/ user script].}}
|In response to the joke of this comic, a reader created a browser extension that replaces each instance of the word 'keyboard' with the word 'leopard'. Randall appears to have gotten this script before its official release, as it was already on the header on the day the comic was released. While the link does not go anywhere useful any longer, an archived version of the link can be accessed [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321174019/http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 here].

When [[1032: Networking]] came out on [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321205835/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-03-21], the header text had returned to how it was before.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111229043804/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-12-29]
[[996: Making Things Difficult]]
|{{Header text|Some context for the cancer comics: 
[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/]}}
|This header text links to Randall's [[Blag]], providing context for the recent comics relating to cancer. Around that time, his then-fiancee was diagnosed with Stage three Breast Cancer, which resulted in more emotional comics relating to cancer, leaving many readers confused.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120404110059/http://xkcd.com:80/980 2012-04-04]
[[980: Money]]
|{{Header text|This one was fun (and exhausting) to make. 
There's a poster of it in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/money-poster store]!}}
|This header text links to the store page for this comic, containing a large poster of the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111115231643/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-11-15]
[[977: Map Projections]]
|{{Header text|It turns out Monday was Steve Waterman's birthday. 
His [https://web.archive.org/web/20111118003418/http://www.watermanpolyhedron.com/ site] has posters of his map, 
plus maybe the world's only Winkel Tripel-critiquing poetry.}}
|This header text mentions the birthday of Steve Waterman, and links to the homepage of his website.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA, THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!}}
[[931: Lanes]]
|{{Header text|[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Some context].}}
|This header text gave context to the comic, which was in relation to cancer. At that point, Randall's wife was battling {{w|Breast cancer}}, so cancer was a major part of Randall's life at that point in time.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|HO-HO, HEE-HEE, HA-HA}}
[[920: YouTube Parties]]
|{{Header text|Oops! It seems I [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/07/04/oops/ wasn't the first one] to do this joke.}}
|This header text, which is very similar to the header text for [[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]], admits that Randall was accidentally inspired by a different comic which had done the same joke earlier. The link in the text took you to a blag post admitting to the accidental plagiarism.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|weer}}
[[896: Marie Curie]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic might be familiar to a few dozen of you. :) 
P.S. [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a message to those who 'might be familar' with the comic. The second was to promote a new Blag post, titled ''Michael Bay's Scenario''.
|
|-
|{{notice|Boneless Chicken}}
[[870: Advertising]]
|{{Header text|Note: This comic's filename was originally 'advertising.png'. If you 
couldn't see it, that was just your AdBlock zealously protecting you.}}}
|This header text let readers know about an issue with the comic not showing up that some users were experiencing. The comic was, apparently, being shown by displaying a PNG of the comic, which people's AdBlockers were mistaking for an advertisement, preventing the comic from appearing.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|8,866,550}}
[[865: Nanobots]]
|{{Header text|xkcd.com now has IPv6 connectivity. If [https://test-ipv6.com/ you] can't reach it, you or your 
ISP have [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPv6_brokenness_and_DNS_whitelisting/ misconfigured equipment]. Sadly, I now have no way to tell you.}}
|This comic's header lets readers know that xkcd supports IPv6 (Internet Protocol Version Six) connectivity, which assigns each device with an IP address and increases the amount of possible IP addresses to over 900 Undecillion. It also tells readers that if they are unable to access that connectivity, either they or their ISP haven't configured their equipment correctly. However, Randall admits he has no way to tell readers which end has the issue.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|2011-01-04
[[851: Na]]
|{{Header text|I can't ''believe'' I forgot Hey Jude. 
I don't get do-overs, but I couldn't resist making [https://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/ a fixed version].}}
|This header text appeared after Randall made this comic, consisting of songs known for repeating the lyric 'na'. After realizing he forgot 'Hey Jude' by {{w|The Beatles}}, he made a separate version of the comic with 'Hey Jude' included. See more in the comic's [[851:_Na#Trivia|trivia section]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|Neenannerneenannerneenannerneenanner}}
[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://www.smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weiner]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the last one before returning to normal. This header lets leaders know about who contributed to the comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Zach Weinersmith}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|choking on your alibis}}
[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://overcompensating.com/ Jeffrey Rowland]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the fourth one of five. It lets the readers know who contributed and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}}, author of the webcomic [https://www.wigucomics.com/oc/index.php?/ Overcompensating].
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|But it's just the price I pay!}}
[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://foxtrot.com Bill Amend]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the third one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Bill Amend}}, author of the webcomic {{w|FoxTrot}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|not nice}}
[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [http://www.buttercupfestival.com David Troupes]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the second one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was David Troupes, author of the webcomic {{w|Buttercup Festival}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|eciton}}
[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://questionablecontent.net Jeph Jacques]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was to let readers know of Guest Week, this comic being the first of five guest comics. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeph Jacques}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Questionable Content}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|meweeeeeeewrr}}
[[802: Online Communities 2]]
|{{Header text|Full view [https://xkcd.com/802_large/ here], poster [https://store.xkcd.com/products/online-communities-poster here]. Note: While I was working on this, 
Ethan Bloch posted [https://web.archive.org/web/20120111133638/https://www.flowtown.com/blog/the-2010-social-networking-map his own update] of my {{xkcd|256|my 2007 map}}. Check it out, too!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a larger version of the comic and also promote its poster, which could be found in the xkcd store before it was shut down. The second is to promote the fact that one Ethan Bloch had created his own update of {{xkcd|256|comic 256}}. The link above now takes you to an archive link as the original site is now defunct.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20100514072436/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-12]
[[739: Malamanteau]]
|{{Header text| At Wikipedia's request, I release this comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This comic's header text mentions that this specific comic is released under a Creative Commons 3.0 license. The link in the header text goes to the page regarding the Attribution Share-Alike 3.0 United States (CC BY-SA 3.0 US) license. Normally, xkcd is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 (CC BY-NC 2.5) license.

This comic's header didn't appear until between 2 and 4 months after it was published, with the earliest archive with the custom header text being from [https://web.archive.org/web/20100913003146/http://xkcd.com/739/ September 13th].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|ow}}
[[681: Gravity Wells]]
|{{Header text|Click on the comic to view the full-size version}}
|This simple header text lets readers know that, if they want a full-size version, they can click on the comic to access it.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|whuiae}}
[[657: Movie Narrative Charts]]
|{{Header text|This comic is also available as a poster [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters/products/movie-narrative-charts-poster here]! 
Click on today's comic to view the full-size version!}}
|This header text served two purposes. The first was to promote the fact that the comic could be acquired as a poster in the store before it was shut down. The second purpose was to let readers know that, if they wanted a larger version of the comic, they could access it by clicking on the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|archive find}}
[[645: RPS]]
|{{Header text|Comic today's you confuses [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_Polish_notation here] click if.}}
|This header text was a parody of the comic, being written in {{w|Reverse Polish notation}}. In normal notation, it would be read as 'Click here if today's comic confuses you', with the word 'here' linking to the Wikipedia page for Reverse Polish notation.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard}}
[[580: The Race: Part 4]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the last comic in the series and was released on a Thursday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 2}}
[[579: The Race: Part 3]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the third comic in the series, and was released on the normal release date of Wednesday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 3}}
[[578: The Race: Part 2]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the second installment in the series, being released on a Tuesday. This comic was also where the '(through Friday)' portion of the header got added. It's possible that people got confused and assumed that Randall would release 7 comics over 7 days, when he would actually be only releasing comics every day until Friday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 4}}
[[577: The Race: Part 1]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day.}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the first installment in the series, and was released on a Monday
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Those is great pants!}}
[[563: Fermirotica]]
|{{Header text|There are xkcd prints available in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
[https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=sqrt(2%2F(pi*18000%2F(mi^2)*80%2Fyear*30+minutes) Example Google sex calculation]
|This header served two purposes. It promoted the fact that you could get xkcd prints in the xkcd store before it was shut down, and also gave an example of the content shown in the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20081014232952/http://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-13]
[[488: Steal This Comic]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Note: the [https://www.amazon.com/MP3-Music-Download/b?ie=UTF8&node=163856011 Amazon.com MP3 store] sells DRM-free music. Kudos.}}}}}
|This comic and header text was made as a complaint of Digital Rights Management, or {{w|DRM}}. The header text makes a proclamation that the Amazon MP3 store sells DRM-free music, telling his readers how to acquire music not affected by DRM.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|You're doing it again}}
[[482: Height]]
|{{Header text|This comic is available as [https://store.xkcd.com/products/height-poster a poster print].}}
|This simple header served the purpose of advertising the fact that you could get this comic as a poster in the xkcd store, before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-05]
[[472: House of Pancakes|472: House of Pancakes]]
|{{Header text|(Today's comic is a parody of [https://www.amazon.com/House-Leaves-Mark-Z-Danielewski/dp/0375703764 House of Leaves].)}}
|When this comic was the newest, it was shown on the front page of xkcd, as seen here the day after release on [https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-06]. However, this header was only on this comic, and the normal header returned to the front page after comic 473 was released.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|the right ones}}
[[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
See: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0 Original Discovery Channel video]
|This header text serves to let the reader know of a video which they could watch, which contains the song that the comic is a parody of.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|where is my Spanish rn}}
[[433: Journal 5]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the final one in the series.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Before the nouns}}
[[432: Journal 4]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the fourth one in the series of five.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|This is let's write}}
[[426: Geohashing]]
|{{Header text|What is this about? See the [https://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/ wiki].}}
|This header text allowed the reader to do further research on the topic by linking to the official xkcd wiki, which was part of the long-defunct [[Forums]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|We will ever run out?}}
[[405: Journal 3]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|377|Journal 2}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series. Unlike the other installments of the Journal series, this text linked to the previous installment rather than the first installment.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Es el diablo}]
[[343: 1337: Part 3]]
|{{Header text|For use on Wikipedia, I release this particular 
comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This header text served the purpose of letting readers know that Randall had specially released this comic under a CC BY-SA 3.0 license, allowing for the image to be uploaded to {{w|Wikipedia}}. Normally, Randall normally releases his comics under a CC BY-NC 2.5 license, which, at the time, was not allowed to be uploaded to Wikipedia.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|}

{| class="sortable wikitable"
! Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" style=max-width:4em |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" | Purpose
|-
|From[https://web.archive.org/web/20260107215729/https://xkcd.com/3190/ 2026-01-07] {{nowrap|(during [[3190: Tensegrity]])}} until present.
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. This was the first change in the header text in over a year, and the first time the header text went to the standard text after almost exactly 4 straight years of book promotions.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241205201038/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[3020: Infinite Armada Chess]])}} until FIND
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]— 
revised and annotated with brand-new illustrations 
and answers to important questions you never thought to ask—Out now. 
Order it [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this text and the previous global header text is the final hyphen. The first link goes to the page for the new what if? book on xkcd, with the other link going to the Harper Collins (the publisher) page for the book. This header was up for over a year, except for the one month when Randall [[#2024-10-16 - Promotion of Kamala Harris for president|endorsed Harris]] for president. This makes it the longest time that ever that the header text has been left unchanged.

Because the previous header texts as well as the [[Countdown in header text|Header text countdown]] all promoted some sort of what if? book, the header has been continuously used to promote what if? for nearly 4 years at the time of writing.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241116184702/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-11-16] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241204160618/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-04] {{nowrap|(during [[3019: Advent Calendar Advent Calendar]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this header text and the next one was that during this time period, only preorders were available.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241017002108/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2999: Bad Map Projection: The United Stralia]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241115181146/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2024-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}}
|[[File:xkcd homepage strip harris for president.png|400x400px]]
|This header text was Randall's official endorsement of {{w|Kamala Harris}} for President during the {{w|2024 United States presidential election}}. He also posted the same image on his[https://x.com/xkcd/status/1853098106667114801 Twitter (formally X)] account and on his [https://bsky.app/profile/xkcd.com/post/3la2jku6ace2f Bluesky] account on November 3rd, two days before the election.

This text was up until November 11th, after the election had taken place and {{w|Donald Trump}} was declared the winner.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240515200351/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2933: Elementary Physics Paths]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241015192147/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2998: Ravioli-Shaped Objects]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|This text promotes the preorder of the 10th anniversary edition of the original what if? book. The first link goes to the page for the book on xkcd and the other link goes to the book's Harper Collins page (Harper Collins is the book's publisher). The same text was displayed after Randall's endorsement of Kamala Harris for president.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240320173158/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[2909: Moon Landing Mission Profiles]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240514034349/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2932: Driving PSA]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is on YouTube! The first video answers 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed Hubble at Earth?]” Follow the 
[https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif What If?] channel to be notified about new videos.}}}}}
|This header promotes the new what if? {{w|YouTube}} channel, in which Randall narrates a post on the what if? blog. At this point, the global header text had been promoting what if? for over two years.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20231129184009/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2861: X Value]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240319134138/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2908: Moon Armor Index]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is now on YouTube! 
Check out the first video for the answer to 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?]” 
and follow [https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif xkcd’s What If? The Video Series channel] to be notified about each new video.}}}}}
|This header promotes the what if? YouTube channel, narrated by Randall. The first link goes to the what if? page on xkcd, and the other two go to the new YouTube channel. A small change occurred [https://web.archive.org/web/20240314113602/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-14], where the first two lines became one line, making the alignment worse. This new version only lasted five days before a change was made, replacing it with a different, although very similar, header text.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230831200321/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-31]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2822: *@gmail.com]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20231128174224/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[2860: Decay Modes]])}}
|{{Header text| What if? 2 is [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/#UK now available] in paperback in the UK!}}
|This header text promotes the paperback version of what if? 2, notifying readers that it was available in the UK. The link goes to the page on xkcd about the what if? 2 book, and directing to the UK order link, where there was now an option to order a paperback copy.

An image was placed above the text, showing the front cover of the new book. Because this was not specifically related to what if? 2, it ended a streak of over 22 months where the header text was constantly promoting the book since the [[#2022-01-10_-_Standard_text_with_countdown|countdown]] began in January 2022.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230217185629/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2739: Data Quality]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230830064414/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2821: Path Minimization]])}}
|[[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|300x300px]]
|This header has no text, only an image of the front cover of the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220923182825/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-23]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230216181705/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2738: Omniknot]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 bestseller.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header consists of two images, with the one promoting the NYT bestseller list on the left.

This header somewhat obviously celebrates the fact that what if? 2, shortly after release, had claimed a spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913142432/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2672: What If? 2 Flowchart]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220922150042/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 out now.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header announces the release of Randall's what if? 2 book.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the book's page on the xkcd website.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-12]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913134002/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2671: Rotation]])}}
|[[File:one day till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to what had come out just two days before, which instead displayed an image showing 3 days.

The {{w|Les Miserables}} song mentioned is ''One Day More'', which is a fitting title for a song stuck in his head.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the xkcd page for ''what if? 2''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220911102450/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until 2022-09-12 (during [[2670: Interruption]])
|[[File:3 days till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to the header showing one week. which came out 4 days beforehand, and the header showing one day, which came out just one day after this header released.

Each image is a link, both taking you to the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220907211736/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]

From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220910024549/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}}
|[[File:1 week till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the third straight header to feature a two-image design, where the countdown was on the left and the book's cover was on the right.

It promoted the soon-to-be-released ''what if? 2'' book, which had been heavily promoted for nearly two weeks up to that point.

Each image is a link, which takes you the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220811055445/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-11]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2657: Complex Vowels]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220816124823/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20220827232205/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-27]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2664: Cloud Swirls]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220906191403/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}}
|[[File:Preorder what if? 2 header.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text, which advertised the fact that preorders were open for ''what if? 2'', was the global header text for two different stints. Instead of this being the global header from August 11th until September 6th, it was interrupted for 9 days while Randall's book tour was ongoing.

The image to the left was a link, which took you to a [https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 what if? 2 contest]. In this contest, one contestant's question would be answered by Randall and included in the book.

The image to the right takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220817161136/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220826202043/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2663: Tetherball Configurations]])}}
|[[File:what if? 2 book tour.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the first header of several to consist of two distinct images, and the third straight to contain the image of the book's cover after the countdown ended.

It promotes a book tour that Randall was taking at the time, to promote ''what if? 2''. Clicking the image took you to the [https://xkcd.com/events/ events page] of xkcd. At the time, it showed you a calendar with each planned stop on the book tour marked, covering the US and London.

The image on the right takes you to ''what if? 2'''s dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220719153239/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-19]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2647: Capri Suns]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220810034709/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2656: Scientific Field Prefixes]])}}
|{{Header text|Preorder What If? 2 (all US preorders eligible) and}} {{Header link|[https://sites.prh.com/whatif2/ enter our contest]}} {{Header text|for a chance to win a dedicated comic and What If blog post!}}[[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header contains text which promotes what if? 2, which was recently made available to preorder at that time.

Clicking the link in the text takes you to a site which allowed users to compete to have their question, along with an answer, be put in the book. While this link is now defunct, you can access an archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718171904/https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 here].

Clicking the image of the book's cover takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220201000434/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-02-01]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2575: What If? 2]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718145816/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[2646: Minkowski Space]])}}
|{{Header text|What If? 2: Additional Serious Scientific Answers to 
Absurd Hypothetical Questions comes out 9/13. 
Preorder [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ here!]}} [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text was the first header to promote ''what if? 2''. It promoted the fact that preorders were available, and that the book would come out 7 months later, on September 13th.

It also was the first of many headers promoting the book to consist of two parts, this one having some lines of text and an image of the book's cover.

This header's release coincided with multiple changes to the site, including a comic which also announced the new book and a change to the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#xkcd_links|xkcd links]] section of the site at the top-left corner. It now included links to books, and especially to this specific book.

The image of the book's cover, the link in the text, and the comic itself are all links to the book's dedicated xkcd page.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220110183238/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-10]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220131124817/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-31] {{nowrap|(during [[2574: Autoresponder]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}

[[File: Countdown in header text full animation.gif|200x200px]]
|This header text was an image, which slowly zoomed out and moved to reveal a promotion for ''What if? 2'', along with the standard header text.

In the image, there was a countdown, which began reading '''20d 22h 0m''' and ticked down every minute until only ten minutes were left. At that point, the image began shaking, and the countdown began counting seconds until it reached zero, at which point the final frame, which showed a snapshot of the book's cover, was displayed for a few minutes before the header text updated and the next comic came out.

When viewing the archives, the countdown actually still functions, and follows the internal clock of the user's computer for 59 minutes.

For a full transcript and explanation of this header, see [[Countdown in header text]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220108044654/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-08]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until 2022-01-10 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This header text was a return to the standard header text, which had not appeared as the global header since [[#2018-11-07 - Back to standard text|November 7th, 2018]], making this the longest period of time without the standard header text appearing even once.

As the [[#2022-01-10 - Standard text with countdown|countdown]] was added to it on the tenth, it was only the global header in this form for two days.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20211220211220/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-20]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2557: Immunity]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220106100957/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2564: Sunshield]])}}
|{{Header text|For anyone trying to find What If? this year, 
it's in stock at [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 Barnes & Noble], [https://m.booksamillion.com/p/What-If/Randall-Munroe/9780544272996 Books-a-Million], and [https://bookshop.org/books/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-9781483041827/9780544272996 Bookshop]}}
|This header text mentions the fact that, for anybody who wishes to purchase what if? for Christmas, it was in stock at multiple different book retailers. Each link is the corresponding store's link for ''[[What If? (book)|What If?]]''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200604003700/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-03]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2315: Eventual Consistency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20211219202204/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2556: Turing Complete]])}}
|[[File:BLM Header.png|200x200px]]
|This header promoted {{w|Black lives Matter}}, showing a single-panel comic with [[Cueball]] (possibly representing [[Randall]]), saying 'Black Lives Matter' with a grey box next to him reading '[https://www.joincampaignzero.org/ How To Help]'. However, instead of just this box being a link, the entire image is a link to joining Campaign Zero, a part of the BLM movement.

It came out shortly after the {{w|Killing of George Floyd}}, which sparked {{w|George Floyd protests|large protests in the US}} and received large amount of national and global media coverage. This header stayed for over 18 months, making this possibly the longest-staying header in xkcd history.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200602213017/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2314: Carcinization]])}}
|''(no header text)''
|This was the first time that xkcd had gone without a header, especially for an extended period of time. After the previous header was removed, no header was inserted in its place, not even the standard go-to header. It stayed empty for almost two months, until the BLM header was inserted.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-04]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2288: Collector's Edition]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}}
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This header text was only up for one day, and gives credit to those who put together the 2020 [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which had taken two extra days to release due to 'technical reasons' (see the previous header). While this header was only up for one comic, and continues as a comic-specific header, this was a global header while the April Fools' comic was on the front page.

Oddly, when this header was removed after [[2289: Scenario 4]], no header came to replace it, leading to a 2-month period where there was no global header text at all.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200402234828/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200403012612/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|{{Header text|Note: For technical reasons Wednesday's comic will be posted Thursday instead.}} 
{{Header text|Apologies for the delay!}}
|This header come directly before 2020's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]]. It apologized for the delay of the comic, stating that technical difficulties along with the overall complexity of the comic pushed its release date back one day, meaning the comic was posted on a Thursday instead of the usual Wednesday.

This comic was the first in over a year to not promote How To?, and was the first to not promote a book since [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06].

This delayed upload schedule created circumstances which made it so [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]] stayed two extra days on the front page, meaning the third comic of the week, [[2289: Scenario 4]], was uploaded [[2289:_Scenario_4#Trivia|on a Saturday]].
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122214439/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2232: Hotel Room Party]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191201191025/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2235: Group Chat Rules]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20200116190038/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200401221435/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|[[File:How To Header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the global header for two distinct stints, being interrupted by the Christmas promotion of the book. It was also the last header to promote How To, which had continuously been promoted in the global header text for over a year at that point.

It gives a quick promotion of the book in an image, followed by multiple links which take you to different websites where you can purchase the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191202223745/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2236: Is it Christmas?]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200115155040/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 2.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], 
[https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the Christmas promotion of Randall's new book, How To. Despite the fact that it was solely meant to promote the book for the Christmas season, it remained up until January 16th.

This header was very similar to the previous header, with the only changes being made to the image.

Each link in the text takes you to each brand's respective page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191106204314/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122044456/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2231: the Time Before And After Land]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 3.png|400x400px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world/id1475319694 Apple], [https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems/369279 Audiobooks], [https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/How-To-Audiobook/1473680360?qid=1574679523&sr=1-1&pf_rd_p=c6e316b8-14da-418d-8f91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=DX3EZ14M14CFQPP9GHJY&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1 Audible], [https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Randall_Munroe_How_To?id=LzSGDwAAQBAJ Google Play], and [https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9780525635680 Libro.fm]}}}}}
|This header text was used to promote How To, which had come out a couple months beforehand. As always, clicking anywhere on the image takes you to the [https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/576760/how-to/ book's page on Penguin Random House], where you could find the audio sample.

Each of the links takes you to that brand's respective page for How To. This is also the latest header text to promote any sort of audio.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191002005854/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191105164001/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 4.png]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be at New York Comic Con! 
I'm giving [https://www.newyorkcomiccon.com/Explore/Panels/Panels-And-Screenings/#/event/how-todo-anything-with-randall-munroe-creator-of-xkcd a talk on Thursday], and on Friday 
[https://smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weinersmith] and I will be hosting [https://www.caveat.nyc/event/how-to--absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems-10-4-2019 an event at Caveat NYC].}}}}}
|This Header simultaneously promotes the book How To, with each of the links in the first part of the text going to the brand's respective pages for the book, and the fact that Randall would be going to the {{w|New York Comic Con}}, a multi-day comic book fan convention.

It states that Randall would be giving a presentation that Thursday at the Comic Con, and would also be hosting an event at Caveat NYC, an event venue on the island of Manhattan.

Over the course of this header's existence, small changes were made, but nothing major enough to be granted its own row.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190930234245/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2209: Fresh Pears]])}} until 2019-10-02 ''(no archived version)'' {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 5.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This header features [[Cueball]], representing [[Randall]], commenting on how How To, the book this header was promoting, was 'tons of fun' to write, and that it can be preordered by clicking a blue link. As always, there are no HTML image maps used, meaning that clicking anywhere on the image will take you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.

Each link provided below the image takes you to each brand's page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190911053115/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190929223547/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2208: Drone Fishing]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 6.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible]}}}}}
|This Header text was used to promote the fact that How To, which had been released just a few days prior. After the header promoting the book's release date was removed, this Header took its place. The image consists of an image of the book's cover, with some decoration around it, and text beneath it. This text provides links which go to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The image also states that {{w|Serena Williams}} and {{w|Chris Hadfield}} featured in the book, which they do. Serena Williams' presence in the book is also mentioned in the [[:Category:Book promotion|promotion comic]] [[2190: Serena Versus the Drones|''Serena Versus the Drones''.]]

Serena Williams is a retired professional tennis player and former world #1 on the {{w|Women's Tennis Association}}'s rankings. u

Chris Hadfield is a retired Canadian astronaut, singer, engineer, and former Royal Canadian Air Force fighter pilot. He served on two space shuttle missions and has spent five months as the commander of the {{w|International Space Station}}.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190904051509/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[2198: Throw]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190909211737/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 7.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text celebrated the release date of How To.

The image consists of an image with two images of the book shown, with a drawing of [[Cueball]] riding two quadcopters up to change a lightbulb in a ceiling lamp, while two other characters are watching, one of whom is holding a ladder. Beneath the image are links to order to book from various sites, and clicking the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190903051503/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 8.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text was a joke which Randall performed on his viewers on How To's release date, which is tailored so that an average xkcd reader would get it. It jokes that there are two different versions of the book for two differing calendar systems. The Gregorian calendar (the calendar we use today) replaced the Julian calendar because the latter had an issue, which caused an increasing discrepancy between the actual date and the weather associated with it. The Gregorian calendar is much more accurate in terms of the solar year.

Because of this increasing discrepancy, the date shown on the Julian calendar is 13 days (now 15) behind the date shown on the Gregorian Calendar.

This header was only up for a day, and it was changed to a more normal celebration the next day.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190827082224/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-27] {{nowrap|(during [[2194: How to Send a File]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190902042108/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|My new book, How To, comes out next week!}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|Read an exclusive excerpt about transmission [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/26/how-to-send-a-file/ here].}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header simply promotes the new book How To, and the fact it was out in a week. Unlike the multiple headers promoting How To both before and after this one, it consists solely of a few lines of text. It provides links to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The second line also contains a link to one of his blog posts, which contains an excerpt from one of the chapters.

A later version of the header included these links, as well as a link to the book tour. The page now contained the winner of the book tour contest, {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}. Despite the fact that this wasn't a countdown, it stayed up until the book's release date on September 3rd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190826062701/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2193: Well-Ordering Principle]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 9.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder ''How To'': [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This image promotes a contest which allows a US reader to win a sketch of themselves in his new book, How To, which would come out that September. It also contains a number of links which go to the respective brand's dedicated page for the book.

Clicking on the image takes you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/05/win-an-xkcd-sketch/ blag post] about the event, titled ''Win an xkcd sketch''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190803222711/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 10.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This Header, like many of those which came both before and after it, promotes the new book How To, which was coming out in just under a month at the time. This image promotes said fact, with an image of the book's cover to the left of the text.

Below the image, there are four links, each taking you to the respective brand's page for the book, allowing you to preorder it.

Clicking on the image took you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/02/how-to-chapter-list-and-introduction/ blag post] titled ''How To Chapter List and Introduction'', which contained How To's table of contents and introduction.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190710165920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190714175710/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2175: Flag Interpretation]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190723205152/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190802192259/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text, like many which had come before and after it, promotes How To, a book which, at the time, would have been releasing in about 2 months. It had two distinctive stints as the header text, being interrupted by the promotion of his ComiCon appearance for about a week.

This header was the first header to include preorder links below the image, each taking you to a specific brand's page to preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190715181016/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2176: How Hacking Works]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190722192637/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Going to San Diego Comic Con this week? I'll [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/07/15/san-diego-comic-con/ see you there]!}}}}}
|This header text was a brief break from the [[How To]] promotion, instead promoting a talk which he would give at that year's San Diego Comic Con. During the Con, he gave a talk and appeared in some panels, before finally handing out signed copies of [[How To]] almost a month before its official release.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190709162102/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]
|This header was used solely to promote [[How To]], which would be coming out in 3 months at the time. It shows images of the book's cover, with miscellaneous drawings from How To scattered throughout the middle of the image, with text promoting the book. This header only stayed up for a day in this style, before adding a line of links showing where to preorder the book below the image.

Clicking on the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190625190843/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-25] {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190708155517/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-08] {{nowrap|(during [[2172: Lunar Cycles]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 12.png|500x500px]]
|This simplistic header promoted a contest which allowed for the readers of xkcd to choose a town which the How To book tour would visit. Clicking on the image takes you to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ a blag post] outlining the contest details. Using only book titles, you were instructed to create a story, with the longest sentence improving your chances of winning. The image visualized what submissions may look like, with 15 people standing side by side, each holding a book. The eventual winner of this contest was {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}.

From left to right, the characters visualized in the image are [[Megan]], [[Cueball]], a man with blonde hair, [[Jill]], [[Blondie]], two [[Hairy]]s, [[White Hat]], a kid with curly hair, [[Hairbun]], Cueball, Megan, [[Knit Cap]], [[Ponytail]], and [[Beret Guy]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190615100645/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2163: Chernobyl]]}} until 2019-06-25 {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 13.png|500x500px]]
|This header, similar to the previous one, promoted the How To book tour, which Randall would shortly be going on. The image is almost exactly the same as the previous one, with the only change being a link reading '[Click here for dates and tickets]'. While the reason for the change is not known, our best guess is that readers didn't realize that the image was a link, so Randall added this line for clarity.

The entire image, not just the blue text, is a link to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] officially announcing the book tour, with all the cities and dates which Randall would visit listed out.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190611031920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2161: An Apple a Day]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190614094729/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2162: Literary Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 14.png|500x500px]]
|This header was the first to promote the [[How To]] book tour. It showed a map of the United States with dots representing the location of each city he would be visiting, with one dot outside the map indicating the city which would be chosen by readers. The list of cities is as follows:

*September 3rd
*[[How to]]
*{{w|Seattle}}
*{{w|Portland, Oregon|Portland}}
*{{w|San Francisco}}
*{{w|Santa Cruz, California|Santa Cruz}}
*{{w|Los Angeles}}
*{{w|Salt Lake City}}
*{{w|Kansas City metropolitan area|Kansas City}}
*{{w|Ann Arbor, Michigan|Ann Arbor}}
*{{w|Cincinnati}}
*{{w|Louisville, Kentucky|Louisville}}
*{{w|Cambridge, Massachusetts|Cambridge}}
*{{w|New York City|New York}}
*{{w|Washington, D.C.|D.C.}}
*{{w|Raleigh, North Carolina|Raleigh}}
*????? (Chosen by readers)

The entire image links to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] announcing the book tour and detailing the contest used to determine the reader-chosen city.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190422030324/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2139: Email Settings]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190517103928/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190610055519/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-06-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2160: Ken Burns Theory]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 15.png|300x300px]]{{nowrap|{{Header text|{{{1|<big><big>HOW TO</big></big>

ABSURD SCIENTIFIC ANSWERS TO COMMON REAL-WORLD PROBLEMS

Available September 3, 2019.

Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}}}
|This complex header was the first to promote [[How To]]. It officially announced the book and provided links where a reader could preorder the book. It served two distinct stints, each lasting over a month, being interrupted by the promotion of the e-newsletter subscription promotion.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190423155458/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2140: Reinvent the Wheel]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190516100403/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Still mourning the demise of Google Reader? 
You can sign up to get new comics delivered by email [https://xkcd.com/newsletter/ here].}}}}}
|This header interrupted the first header to promote How To in favor of promoting a subscription service which viewers could utilize as a way to be notified when a new comic was released. It mentions {{w|Google Reader}}, a popular RSS and Atom feed aggregator which had shut down on July 1st, 2013. He advertises the newsletter almost 6 years after the shutdown, using email.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190205050302/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|After a long period of sharing space with other headers during the ongoing 2018 Midterm Elections. After election day, the standard text came back, being the sole header for almost three months before Randall's announcement of [[How To]]. After the standard header text left, it wouldn't reappear for almost three years, the longest gap between standard texts at the time.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181106122850/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2068: Election Night]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]])}}
|[[File:Election Day Header but Better.png|500x500px]]
|This header text reminded xkcd readers to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. As these were highly contested, every vote counted. It gave a reminder about the fact that if the polls close while you're in line, the government must let you vote. It also provides links which give additional information about voting, where your local polling place is, and to see what was on the ballot.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181105105855/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Find out where to vote: [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].

See what's on your ballot: [https://www.ballotready.org/ BallotReady.org]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to the previous one, only adding a line below the first, taking you to a website which shows what would be on the reader's ballot before that year's election day on November 6th. It is part of a series of header texts related to the US 2018 Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181022120935/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2061: Tectonics Game]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Check your registration and find your polling place at [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].}}}}}
|This header text reminded readers to register to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. It links to vote.org, a website which allows the user to check their registrations and contains a map of polling places near your location.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard text. It returned for just a couple months, between a reminder for readers in New York to vote and for all readers to register for the main election day during the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20180913133544/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2045: Social Media Announcement]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20180914175605/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2046: Trum-]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|NY votes today! Find your polling place [https://voterlookup.elections.ny.gov/ here]. (Zephyr Teachout for AG!)}}}}}
|This short-lived header text reminded readers who lived in New York to vote on that day, as it was the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. The text links to a New York government website which allows the viewer to see which polling place was the closest to them.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard header text, this time returning for 10 months, from during December 2017 to September 2018. It stayed during the long break between Christmas and the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20171126130857/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1920: Emoji Sports]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171130150053/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1922: Interferometry]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|To anyone looking for Christmas gifts: Until Monday you can get $5 off 
[https://www.amazon.com/What-International-Scientific-Hypothetical-Questions/dp/0544456866 What If?] and [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Thing Explainer] on Amazon with coupon code GIFTBOOK17.

At Barnes & Noble, until Sunday you can get 20% off 
[https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 What If?] and [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432 Thing Explainer] using code GIVETHANKS.}}}}}
|This header text, like many others, only lasted a few days in between long stretches of standard headers. It promoted Christmas sales of [[What If?]] and [[Thing Explainer]], as well as providing a code to use on the Barnes & Noble page for the books.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170922232616/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-09-22]] {{nowrap|(during [[1893: Thread]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171010045802/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1900: Jet Lag]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be visiting the UK next week! 
You can join me in London from September 30-October 2 
(at [https://live.newscientist.com/speakers/randall-munroe New Scientist Live], [https://www.rigb.org/whats-on/events-2017/october/public-lunchtime-talk--randall-munroe The Royal Institution], 
and [https://www.intelligencesquared.com/events/randall-munroe-on-making-complicated-stuff-simple/ Intelligence Squared]), then from October 3-6 in [https://www.stpetersyork.org.uk/public_lectures/randall_munroe_thing_explainer York], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/thing-explaining-with-randall-munroe-tickets-37832289396 Edinburgh], [https://www.toppingbooks.co.uk/events/ely/randall-murray-thing-explainer/ Cambridge and Ely], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/randall-munroe-book-signing-thing-explainer-tickets-38041072873 Oxford], and [https://www.cheltenhamfestivals.com/literature/whats-on/2017/randall-munroe/ Cheltenham].}}}}}
|This header text was a promotion for public appearances around the UK between late September and early October. Each link goes to a site where you could purchase tickets to attend his appearances. Despite the fact that all of his appearances had already ended, the promotion continued until October 9th, when the header text returned back to standard.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170731021227/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-31] {{nowrap|(during [[1869: Positive and Negative Reviews]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170804152509/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-08-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1872: Backup Batteries]])}}
|[[File:Healthcare Thanks.png]]
|This header thanked readers for their efforts to stop 'The Skinny Repeal', a bill which would have repealed the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare, in the Senate. In an unexpected twist, Republican senators John McCain, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski all voted against the bill, as well as all democrats, leading the 100-member senate to veto the bill 51-49. John McCain voted 'no' just days after a brain cancer diagnosis, leading two other Republicans to do the same, vetoing the bill.

This act had an especially large effect on Randall, as this was during his wife's Breast Cancer treatment. Had the act been passed, it is possible that they would have lost their Healthcare coverage, saddling them with very large amounts of debt which they may not have been able to pay off.

The entire image is a link, which takes you to a New York Times article showing the final results of the vote, as well as how members of each party voted.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170730141019/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]])}}
|[[File:Call the Senate.png]]
|This header came just days before a Senate vote on the 'skinny repeal' act, which would have repealed major parts of the Affordable Care Act, which would have left millions of people without healthcare coverage. He asks his readers to contact their senators and ask them to vote 'no' on the bill. He provides a phone number to call, as well as recommending readers to contact their friends in multiple Republican states, whose senators were likely to vote 'yes' on the bill, and ask them to call as well.

Randall may have been motivated to do this because, at the time, his wife was going through cancer treatment. Had this bill been passed, it is possible their healthcare coverage would have been lost, leading them to attain large amounts of debt, and possibly forcing Randall to cease making comics.

This header was up until the Senate ultimately vetoed the bill 51-49, leading Randall to change the header to a 'thank you'.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170122003124/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This long-lasting header text promoted shirts and posters which could be found at the xkcd store at the time. It maintained the sales pitch of the previous header, only removing the image promoting the shirts.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128153015/https://xkcd.com 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1765: Baby Post]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170121114423/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]])}}
|[[File:New shirts header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],

along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This header promoted a Christmas sale on merchandise which was available in the xkcd store at the time. Despite the Christmas sale ending, the header remained until January 21st. The entire image was a link to the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423103108/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128093459/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1764: XKCDE]])}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header returned for a long stint between late April and late November of 2016.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404185353/https://www.xkcd.com/#5dbfbb82-fc20-11e5-8001-42010a8e000d 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1663: Garden]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423182630/https://xkcd.com:80/1663/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|'''Protip''': If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}}}}
|This header text stayed throughout most of April. It gave tips for the [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which came out with the release of this header. The header text stayed until April 23rd, at which point it became a [[xkcd_Header_text#Garden|Comic-Specific Header]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401204749/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404054612/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|''First Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.

Please stand by!}}

''Second Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.}}

{{Header text|Status update: Please stand by.}}
{{Header text|Status update: This is fine. Everything is fine.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Everything is on fire.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Searching for calendar systems in which Saturday is April 1st.}}

''Third Version'':
{{Header text|The Friday xkcd comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties}}

{{Header text|[Editor's note: Everything is on fire] and has been delayed until Sunday night.}}
|Randall is making the best of a bad situation. Just before the release of that year's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], it experienced technical difficulties forcing Randall to delay its release. The three headers changed in rapid succession while [[1662: Jack and Jill]] was still on the front page. Randall provides status updates on the comic, which quickly devolves into chaos before returning to a sense of false normalcy. This finalized header remained until the release of [[Garden]] on April 5th.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151213194534/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401125621/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Thing Explainer is available at:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header was the final header to promote Thing Explainer, which had been continuously promoted for over 10 months at that point. It provided links to places where the book could be purchased, just in time for the Christmas season.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151212133400/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1| Thing Explainer is available at: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be in [https://web.archive.org/web/20151211002159/https://www.andersonsbookshop.com/event/naperville-reads-randall-munroe Naperville, IL] and [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205205714/https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/indigo-exclusive-randall-munroe-tickets-18694384407 Toronto, ON] (with [https://qwantz.com/ Ryan North]!) next week.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. It gave links to order [[Thing Explainer]] (which makes sense. It was December, after all.), and also promoted public appearances he would be doing with Ryan North in Naperville, Illinois and Toronto, Ontario. This header continued the trend of promoting [[Thing Explainer]], which had been continually promoted since April.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151203234149/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}}
|[[File:TE images header.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text contained a large image showcasing images from [[Thing Explainer]], as well as multiple links for where to get the book. This image holds the odd record of being the largest image to ever be put into the header text (it is resized here for space). The image gets even weirder by being a link to [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0544668251/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0544668251&linkCode=as2&tag=thekcs-20&linkId=S4XRZJJKSMHOWEQU Thing Explainer on Amazon], even though a link to buy the book on amazon was also provided beneath the image. The image was only provided for two days, before being replaced by a promotion for his public appearances with Ryan North.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124201602/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1607: Supreme Court]]}} until 2015-12-02 {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}}
|''First Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

''Second Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|I'm doing a [https://www.facebook.com/AndyWeirAuthor/ live Q&A;] at 2:30pm PT with The Martian author Andy Weir.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. For most of the time it was on the front page, it solely promoted [[Thing Explainer]], and provided links where you could purchase it. However, it was shortly changed to advertise his public appearances with Andy Weir, with the link in that text taking you to his Facebook page. The image remained between the two texts, and it was a link to an [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ old Blag post] announcing Thing Explainer. However, the promotion of the public appearance only lasted one day, and as such is not important enough overall to be split into it's own section.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151022200022/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124065108/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1608: Hoverboard]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|We've [https://slate.com/technology/2015/08/no-new-polio-in-africa-for-one-year-gates-epidemiologist-on-vaccines-and-surveillance.html almost eradicated polio]. For World Polio Day, I drew a comic}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|about the eradication efforts. You can see it on [https://www.gatesnotes.com/Health/XKCD-Marks-the-Spot Bill Gates's blog].}}}}}
_________________________________________________________________
{{Header text|{{{1|My [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ new book] of complex diagrams and simple words comes out Nov 24th.}}}}}
|This header text promoted two things simultaneously, separated by a line. The top half of the header promoted a comic which Randall drew for Bill Gates' blog, celebrating the fact that {{w|Polio}} had almost been eradicated. The other header promoted [[Thing Explainer]], a book which had just released that year. The top half of the header linked to the blog post that Randall's Polio comic had appeared in, while the bottom half linked to a [[Blag]] post announcing Thing Explainer.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150923044724/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1580: Travel Ghost]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151021164208/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|News: Announcing my Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/im-going-on-a-book-trip/ book trip]. Come say hi!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|Other news: Announcing the Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/a-thing-explainer-word-checker/ word checker] tool!}}}}}
|This simplistic header promoted two things related to [[Thing Explainer]], which had released earlier that year. It promoted the Thing Explainer book tour and a tool which can help you "Write Like Up Goer Five and Thing Explainer", also known as [https://xkcd.com/simplewriter/ Simple Writer].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150906181550/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1573: Cyberintelligence]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150919220105/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1579: Tech Loops]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thing-Explainer-Randall-Munroe/dp/1473620910 Amazon.co.uk], [https://www.waterstones.com/book/thing-explainer/9781473620919 Waterstones]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to previous headers promoting [[Thing Explainer]]. The only change which occurred between the last header and this header was the addition of a line of text containing links, where you could preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150606084120/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-06-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150807181044/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1561: Water Phase Diagram]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|In other news, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing] is delightful, 
and I feel surprisingly invested in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket's] results.}}}}}
|This header text contained two sections, each talking about separate things. The upper portion of the header maintained the same promotion of [[Thing Explainer]] from the previous header, but added a couple new lines of text outlining 'other news' in his life. The first link goes to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing], a music video parody of {{w|David Bowie|David Bowie's}} [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo Space Oddity] music video using only the 1,000 most common words, inspired by [[1133: Up Goer Five]]. Along with this, there was another link which went to [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket] on Twitter. This was a large bracket inspired by [[1529: Bracket]], in which a Twitter user simulated a full bracket with each entry from the comic. After this, it returned to simply promoting the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150515060322/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150605082643/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-06-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text, like the one that came before it, promoted the fact that preorders were open for [[Thing Explainer]], which had been announced with the previous header. The image linked to a [[Blag]] post titled ''[https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ New book: Thing Explainer]''. This header remained for just under a month before other news was added.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150514053623/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1524: Dimensions]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New book: [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ Thing Explainer!]}}}}}
|This header text announced [[Thing Explainer]], a book which uses only the 1,000 most common English words at the time to explain complicated things such as the {{w|Curiosity (rover)|Curiosity Rover}} and {{w|Washing machine|Washing machines}}. When the next comic released, the header text turned to promoting the book, including providing links where you could preorder it.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150211154103/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1485: Friendship]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150512184622/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1523: Microdrones]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header text returned for about three months, between his promotion of xkcd-themed {{w|Valentine's Day}} cards and the announcement of [[Thing Explainer]]
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150204051152/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1482: NowPlaying]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150210005540/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1484: Apollo Speeches]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]
|This header was the last of the headers to promote {{w|Valentine's Day}} that year. It promoted the Valentine's Day cards which Randall had collaborated with other webcomic artists to create, and were first announced the month before. The promotion lasted until February 10th, at which point it was nearly impossible to ship cards out to customers by Valentine's Day.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150203022036/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today is the last day to order the limited-run [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart binary heart shirt]!}}}}}
|This header solely promoted the binary heart shirt, which was in the xkcd store at the time, just before that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. The header remained up until the day after the shirts were no longer available to order.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150129183442/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150201015913/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1480: Super Bowl]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]{{nowrap|[[File:Binary shirt.png]]}}
|This header promoted both special store products that Randall had created for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. He had partnered with other artists to create custom Valentine Cards, and had created a shirt which contained a heart made out of binary. This header lasted for only a few days until the header changed to promoting the last day you could order the shirts. The image promoting the shirt was a link to a https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart page] where you could purchase it.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150128172147/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}}
|{{Header text|I've teamed up with three other webcomic artists}}
{{Header text|{{{1|to make [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://store.xkcd.com/products/webcomic-science-valentines a set of science-themed Valentine's Day cards]!}}}}}
|This short-lived header announced the fact that [[Randall]] had collaborated with 'other webcomic artists' to create Valentine's cards which could be purchased in the shop at the time. The link in the text took you to the card's page on the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150124110707/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1477: Star Wars]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150126133139/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}}
|{{Header text|For Valentine's Day, you can get a binary heart shirt}}
{{Header text|{{{1|(from {{xkcd|99|comic #99!}}) in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart a limited run on TeeSpring]}}}}}
|This header text was the first of many headers to promote the binary heart shirt which Randall released for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. Instead of being on the xkcd store like one may assume, he actually used {{w|Teespring}}, a company that allows users to create and sell custom products, as the sales platform.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141222233233/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1463: Altitude]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150123102318/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1476: Ceres]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get xkcd shirts, prints, and posters in the [https://shop.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header, like many others at the time, promoted the xkcd store, which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise. The link in the text was a link to the store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141217085320/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until 2014-12-18 {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20141219092349/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141221172450/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header.png]]
|This header served two distinct stints as a header, in between an Easter egg header that Randall had released in between them.

This header consisted of just one image, promoting the xkcd store while also reminding readers that that Friday was the last day things could be shipped by the 25th. The entire image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], not just the blue text in the image.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141218090650/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header 2.png]]
|This header was a more humorous version of the header which it both preceded and succeeded, possibly meant as an {{w|Easter egg (media)|Easter Egg}} for those who happened to visit the site at the time when it was up. It lasted only for a few hours, meaning that not many actually got to see it while it was up. It reminded the reader that, if they wished to get Christmas presents from the xkcd store, they needed to order them by that Friday in order for them to be shipped in time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141203132024/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1455: Trolley Problem]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1460: SMFW]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Store Header.png]]
|This header promoted the store during the Christmas season, with a touch of humor added in. The bobcat is a reference to [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]. The image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141129211604/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141202065133/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1454: Done]]}}
|{{Header text|Thank you for helping my friend Emily.}}
{{Header text|It means so much.}}
|Just two days after Randall posted a header text to raise money for Emily's cancer treatment, the goal was met and this header replaced the previous one for three days. This means that the thanks for meeting the goal was up for more time than the header notifying readers of the goal itself.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141127005239/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1452: Jurassic World]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128070838/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]}}
|{{Header text|Hey all. My friend Emily—the economist who helped}}
{{Header text|me with my {{xkcd|980|money chart}}—has been fighting cancer. She's}}
{{Header text|{{{1|having a rough time and could use some [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128183414/https://www.gofundme.com/e07dqk help]. Thank you.}}}}}
|This header text was meant to raise money in order to help [[Randall]]'s friend Emily fight cancer. The text linked to a GoFundMe page for Emily. Oddly, Emily did not get a permanent header as Becky did on the [[#Seven_Years|Seven Years]] comic.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141002211139/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1428: Move Fast and Break Things]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141125234520/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Bestseller.png]]
|This header consisted of an image promoting the fact that What If? Had become a New York Times bestseller, while also promoting the book at the same time. The header remained up for over a month, only being interrupted by Emily's cancer diagnosis. The image was a link to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140904150600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141001130827/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out now.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that What If?, which had released the day before this header came out, was available to order. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140902125802/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140903134518/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out Today.png]]
|This header kept the trend of simple images promoting What If?, with this one promoting the fact that the book was released that day. As this promoted only the release day, it was replaced by a more general promotion the day after. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140723180600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1398: Snake Facts]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140901113916/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]}}
|[[File:What If? Book Tour.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that Randall was going on a book tour for What If?, which was released that September. The image, like many others promoting the book, was a simple depiction of a celebrating Cueball with text to its right. The text in the image promoted the book, and asked the viewer to click on an apparent link in order to see a list of stops for the tour. However, by Randall's own admission, the entire image (not just the apparent link) was a link, as he had not figured out HTML imagemaps. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/07/22/what-if-book-tour/ a Blag post] announcing the book tour and outlining a list of stops.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140313070951/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1341: Types of Editors]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140722142115/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1397: Luke]]}}
|[[File:What If? Announcement.png]]
|This header text was the first of many to promote What If?. This first one announced the fact that Randall was publishing a book cataloging entries from his What If? blog, which had been running continuously for multiple years at that point. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/03/12/what-if-i-wrote-a-book/ a Blag post] announcing the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140109190927/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140312070248/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1340: Unique Date]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131221043417/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1306: Sigil Cycle]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140108181520/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The deadline for guaranteed Christmas shipping has passed, 
but if you order something from the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], we'll get it to you as fast as possible!}}}}}
|This header text came out just four days before Christmas, when Randall would be unable to ship items ordered from the xkcd store by Christmas. He also reminds readers that they'd ship ASAP, but they wouldn't arrive by the 25th.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131220005306/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1305: Undocumented Feature]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|For a couple weeks during early December of 2013, no header came to replace the previous Exoplanet Poster header. It is possible that there was an error with the intended header text, or that Randall simply forgot to put in a new one. This stopped when the xkcd store Christmas shipping deadline passed, and the header changed to let readers know of this fact.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1298: Exoplanet Neighborhood]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Exoplanet Neighborhood comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://store.xkcd.com/products/exoplanet-neighborhood-poster poster]!}}}}}
|Just after [[Exoplanet Neighborhoods]] came out, Randall updated the header to mention that you could get the comic as a poster in the store. This header lasted only four days, until the header turned empty.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130409170502/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131201184250/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1297: Oort Cloud]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Subways comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20130411022318/http://store-xkcd-com.myshopify.com/products/subways poster]!}}}}}
|This header, which lasted for almost exactly 100 Comics, promoted the fact that you could get [[1196: Subways]] as a poster in the xkcd store. The promotion lasted until early December, when it was replaced with a different store promotion for another comic, oddly promoting a comic poster as well.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126235628/https://xkcd.com/1138/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130311073948/https://xkcd.com:80/1183/ 2013-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1183: Rose Petals]]}}, from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130320082716/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1188: Bonding]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130401112845/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]]}}, and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403180307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1194: Stratigraphic Record]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130408184914/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}}
|[[File:xkcd Store Paper Rip.png]]
|This header holds a record for the most distinct times it appeared as the header text, appearing three separate times. The content of the header was an image showing a torn piece of paper, with the tear revealing the words 'xkcd store' below it. Clicking on the image while it was up took you to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which featured various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20130402122924/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]])}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|There were some surprise upsets in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20130402131103/http://almamater.xkcd.com/ Hash Breaking]!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|KIT [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403114751/http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv leads] (389 bits wrong), followed by Columbia (391 bits wrong).}}}}}
|This header documented the challenge given to multiple prestigious colleges in [[1193: Externalities]]. Randall had created a challenge in which multiple Alma Maters were tasked to break a 1024-bit {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} in the shortest time possible, with the college that had the least bits wrong at the end of the challenge winning. This header gave an update, stating that KIT (an Indian engineering college) in first place, with Colombia in second. He provided a link to the xkcd page where the results were being documented in real time. In the end, Carnegie Mellon University won, with 384 bits wrong of 1024.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130315162227/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1186: Bumblebees]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130318072820/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1187: Aspect Ratio]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|After the previous header letting people know that [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]] was delayed, no header came to replace it for 3 days. This is one of only three times this has happened in xkcd's history
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313133631/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1184: Circumference Formula]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313175306/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The comic will be delayed until late morning EDT.}}}}}
|This simple header, which was up for less than a day, let readers know that the next comic ([[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]) was temporarily delayed. The delayed comic was quickly released and the header was replaced, oddly, with nothing.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121024082017/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126035129/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121017232102/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1122: Electoral Precedent]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121023023404/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/ What if lightning struck while you were ...]}}}}}
|This header was the last header to promote the release of a specific entry to the What If? blog. This entry acted like a short-answer section, but only for lightning-related questions. This promotion lasted for only a few days before it was replaced with the standard header. The link in the article took you to the blog entry.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121010003837/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121016055538/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1121: Identity]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/15/ What if you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?].
|This header promoted a new release of the What If? Blog, this being Mariana Trench Explosion. The question in this entry was "What If you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?". The promotion lasted about a week before the next entry in the blog came out.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121002231724/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121008112434/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}}
|{{Header text|In this week's What-If article I [https://what-if.xkcd.com/14/ answer multiple reader questions].}}}}}
|This header text promotes the first short-answer entry of the What If? blog. It was up for a week, while it was the most recent blog entry. After that, it was replaced by a promotion for the next blog entry
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120926163111/https://xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1113: Killed in Action]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121001080517/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/ If everyone aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at once, would it change color?]}}}}}
|This header text, like many others around this time, promoted the latest entry to the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120918143653/https://www.xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120925090123/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1112: Think Logically]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|what-if.xkcd.com: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/ What if all of a storm's water fell in a single raindrop?].}}}}}
|This header promoted the latest entry into the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|12|Raindrop}}. It stayed up until the next blog entry was released.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1106: ADD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120917052827/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://what-if.xkcd.com/11/ Droppings]}}}}}
|This time, the header text promoted the new What If? blog entry, this time titled {{what if|11|Droppings}}. This header lasted until the next entry, {{what if|12|Raindrop}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120910011937/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1105: License Plate]]}}
|{{Header text|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://what-if.xkcd.com/10/ What if we slid the Earth's surface around by 90 degrees?]}}}}}
|This header was part of a long series of headers at the time, coming out each week with each new What If? blog entry. This one promoted {{what if|10|Cassini}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1101: Sketchiness]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120903051700/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/ What if everyone had a randomly-chosen soul mate?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers promoting new entries to the What If? blog every week. For this week, it promoted {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1098: Star Ratings]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120828050938/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1100: Vows]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ What if everyone got together and jumped]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ at the same time, but then realized nobody brought food?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1096: Clinically Studied Ingredient]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120821113022/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1097: A Hypochondriac's Nightmare]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|This week: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://what-if.xkcd.com/7/ Is there enough energy to move all of humanity off-planet]?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|7|Everybody Out}}. This header, however, is unique from the others promoting the blog, as this is the last header to promote the website directly.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120809045754/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1092: Michael Phelps]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120814083615/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1094: Interview]]}}
|[[File:What If? Glass header.png]]
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, for most of the week {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}} was out, Randall used an image to promote the new entry rather than the traditional text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use this format.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1091: Curiosity]]}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://what-if.xkcd.com/6/ This week]: What if a glass were actually half-empty?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, this header is unique, as it only appeared for a single day before Randall replaced it with an image promoting the same article. This header text promoted {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1089: Internal Monologue]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120805074212/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1090: Formal Languages]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/5/ This week]: How long would humans last in a robot apocalypse?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120730122025/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1088: Five Years]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/4/ This week]: What if you had a mole (unit) of moles (animals)?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}, the fourth What If? blog entry.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120718231719/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1083: Writing Styles]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120723224537/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1085: ContextBot]]}}
|[[File:Yoda What If header.png]]
|This header was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. During the week where {{what if|3|Yoda}} was the most recent post, Randall decided to promote the new entry via an image rather than the typical text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use an image rather than text.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120710114846/https://xkcd.com/1078/ 2012-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120714062857/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1081: Argument Victory]]}}
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New site: what-if.xkcd.com, where I abuse science to answer hypothetical questions. 
I'll answer a new question every Tuesday.}}}}} 
''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/ what-if.xkcd.com]: abusing science to answer hypothetical questions.}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll answer a new reader question every Tuesday.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each promoting the new What If? blog at [https://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]. 
The first version was only up for a day, and, oddly, appeared on each comic except for the front page. The website given in the text wasn't a link, which is presumably why Randall quickly changed the header into the second version. 
The second version of the text was the main version, and was up for a few days. This header does not have many changes from the previous header, only adding the link where the website was and separating the text into two lines. The website now linked to the first ever What If? blog entry, {{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}. For a time, this text also did not appear on the front page as it came out during [[1079: United Shapes]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#United_Shapes|unique header text]]. Later, this text was incorporated into this comic's text, but it was never changed back. This means, if you {{xkcd|1079|go to the comic today}}, it still contains the second version of this header.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120409190952/https://xkcd.com/1026/ 2012-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1040: Lakes and Oceans]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709004956/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
{{Header text|{{{1|You can get prints, posters, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store].}}}}}
|This simple header text combined the standard header text and the standard store promotion in one header. The link in the bottom row went to to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120405195956/https://www.xkcd.com/1021/ 2012-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1038: Fountain]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120408200414/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1039: RuBisCO]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|A return to the standard header text, if only for a few days before the store promotion was added.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120328103319/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1035: Cadbury Eggs]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120403164523/https://xkcd.com:80/1036/ 2012-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1036: Reviews]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'm [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ visiting] Newport News, VA next week, where I'll be speaking at CNU, my old school. 
If you want to come, reserve a seat [https://web.archive.org/web/20120329214411/https://www.cnu.edu/pcs/xkcd/index.asp here]!}}}}}
|This promotion linked to a trip Randall was doing to {{w|Newport News, Virginia}}, where he would be giving a talk at his old school, {{w|Christopher Newport University}}. The first link in the text went to a [[Blag]] [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ post] announcing his trip, while the second link took you to a website where you could purchase tickets (the link here goes to an archived version, as the link is no longer working).
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120312185125/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1028: Communication]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120326180811/https://xkcd.com// 2012-03-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1033: Formal Logic]]}}
|{{Header text|{{[1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120318153220/https://holistic.xkcd.com/ holistic.xkcd.com], the least useful web navigation tool ever.}}}}}
|This header text promoted a web navigation tool which Randall had developed, called the xkcd Holistic Browser. As the name implies, when you typed a web address, you would instead be taken to a web address someone else had entered. For a time, this header text overlapped with [[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#Unique_header_text|unique header text]].
|Other promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20120228183748/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120311135259/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1027: Pickup Artist]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Blag: Remember geohashing? [http://blog.xkcd.com/2012/02/27/geohashing-2/ Something pretty cool] happened Sunday.}}}}}
|This header text references geohashing, an activity which originated from [[426: Geohashing|another comic]] which Randall had published a few years earlier. Geohashing is an activity where an algorithm picks a pseudo-random point within a certain graticule each day. The people who partake in this activity (known as 'geohashers' or 'hashers') can then go to this spot, take a picture, and upload it to the [geohashing.site Geohashing wiki].

The blog post in the header text outlines a story relating to the globalhash, an extra challenge for geohashers in which just one point is chosen around the world. One day, the globalhash was within a mile of the south pole, and a geohasher reached out to personnel at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}}. Personnel at the station completed the challenge and uploaded a photo to the wiki, completing the achievement.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111219230017/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[992: Mnemonics]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|The standard header text returns once again, this time taking the place of the previous after the store was unable to ship things out in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[982: Set Theory]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[991: Phantom Menace]]}}
|[[File:2011 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{{1|shipping for Christmas}}}}}
|This header text utilized a small banner to notify readers that the xkcd store, at that point, could ship items out in time for christmas. Nothing more to say about this one.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[930: Days of the Week]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[981: Porn Folder]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110702224031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-02] {{nowrap|(during [[919: Tween Bromance]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110718225031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[926: Time Vulture]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blog post:}}}}}{{nowrap|{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Family Illness]}}}}}}}
|This header text promoted a blag post which is much more somber than most. It tells readers the context behind recent cancer-related comics. At this time, Megan, his then-fianceé (and now wife), was diagnosed with Stage III {{w|Breast cancer|Breast Cancer}}, which is extremely rare at her age of diagnosis. Obviously, the treatment and support of his fianceé took up much of his life, and he wanted to let his readers know of the ongoing situation. Despite the late diagnosis, Megan has since made a full recovery.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110520004343/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-20] {{nowrap|(during [[900: Religions]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110629072556/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-06-29] {{nowrap|(during [[918: Google+]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. Not really sure what to say here.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110512173901/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[897: Elevator Inspection]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110517072118/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[899: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]}}}}}{{Header text|!}}
|This header text is a compilation of the standard header text and an advertisement for a new blag post, this one being 'Michael Bay's Scenario'. This blog post shows Randall's characteristic geekiness, detailing the basis for one of the panels in [[748: Wo, rst-Case Scenario|an earlier comic]], being the pattern for how dams are operated when the {{w|Mississippi River}} floods.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110418155618/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-18] {{nowrap|(during [[887: Future Timeline]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110508055056/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-08] {{nowrap|(during [[898: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110405105448/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[881: Probability]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Miss XK3D? It's still up at [xk3d.xkcd.com xk3d.xkcd.com]. 
(UNIXKCD, last year's April 1st redesign, is at [uni.xkcd.com uni.xkcd.com].)}}}}}
|This header text let readers know that there was still a way to access the April Fool's xkcd redesign for that year. In 2011, the redesign used a computer program to create a 3d effect on all comics up to [[880: Headache]]. It also reminded readers of the previous year's April Fools' redesign, that being [[Unixkcd]], which gave xkcd.com an interface similar to a terminal. The upper link no longer works, and has been replaced by [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com].
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110401181154/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[880: Headache]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD is now 3D! See [http://xkcd.com/xk3d/ here] for details! 
If 3D is too much for you, consider investing in a pair of [http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/looflirpa/e8be/ these]!}}}}}
|This header text was unique to the 2011 April Fools' xkcd.com redesign. For 2011, the regesign used a computer program to convert every xkcd comic up until [[880: Headache]] to a 3d view by separating the comics into different layers. The upper link is completely broken and no longer exists. To see the xk3d interface, go to [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com]. The lower link in the header text no longer works, instead taking you to a GameStop page dedicated to action figures and other collectibles.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110320063005/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110331041143/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-31] {{nowrap|(during [[879: Lamp]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blag post: a [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/03/19/radiation-chart/ chart] comparing levels of radiation exposure.}}}}}
|{{notice|summarize the blag post here}}
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110202074533/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[855: 1999]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110318203241/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: There's a new full-text comic search box a bit down the page.}}}}}
|This header text served as a set of two 'pro tips' which Randall is providing for the readers, the second header straight to do so. While the first is the same as the previous header, the second is different. It correctly states that there is a search box in a lower section of the page, which most people would not see as it is not viewable unless you scroll down, which most won't do as they are just viewing the comic.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110122183142/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-22] {{nowrap|(during [[850: World According to Americans]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110201050436/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[854: Learning to Cook]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: Scripts can [http://xkcd.com/json.html fetch comics and metadata automatically].}}}}}
|This header text provides 'pro tips', or pieces of advice ('tips') coming from somebody more experienced with a certain subject ('pros'). In this case, the person more experienced with xkcd is Randall, the creator of the site, so it's questionable as to whether these would actually be 'pro tips'. The upper tip lets readers know about m.xkcd.com, a version of the site designed for mobile devices. Currently, it's used for older web browsers, and less so for mobile devices as technology and Randall's coding has evolved. The other tip allows readers to use a computer script to automatically fetch comics and the metadata (the technical information about each comic, such as the author and its resolution) for said comics.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101221074545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110120082139/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-20] {{nowrap|(during [[849: Complex Conjugate]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101210182242/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-10] {{nowrap|(during [[832: Tic-Tac-Toe]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101220074448/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}})
|[[File:2010 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store is now shipping for Christmas.}}
|This header text was a reminder for readers that the xkcd store could ship items in time for christmas. At the time, he was selling signed prints of many different comics, so it was important for readers to have this knowledge.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101202013145/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitudes]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101207103208/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-07] {{nowrap|(during [[831: Genetic Analysis]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can order the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text combined the regular, standard header text with a promotion for an item in the xkcd store. It was very similar to the previous, with the only difference being that instead of only being able to preorder the item, the item could be directly ordered. The item in question was a poster depicting [[802: Online Communities 2]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101015082807/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[806: Tech Support]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101201003913/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitude]]}})
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There's a poster of the [https://xkcd.com/802/ updated communities map] for preorder in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}

''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can preorder the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each having the exact same meaning but differing levels of conciseness. It let readers know that they could preorder a poster which depicted [[802: Online Communities 2]], a large comic which depicted the size of various online communities as a fantasy map. This header text debuted in October until early December, when it released just in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100717133907/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-17] {{nowrap|(during [[767: Temper]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101012070848/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-12] {{nowrap|(during [[804: Pumpkin Carving]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are t-shirts, prints, posters, and other items in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}
|This was a very standard, copy-and-paste store promotion.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[760: Moria]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[765: One Two]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text. This header was the last time that there was a prolonged gap in the archives, necessitating the 'c.' in the date field.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[740: The Tell-Tale Beat]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[756: Public Opinion]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday 
There is a [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#FlyingFerretTankTop tank top] in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple one, letting readers know that the xkcd store now contained a {{w|Sleeveless shirt|tank top}} (a shirt which does not contain sleeves) depicting the flying ferret from [[20: Ferret]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100506032819/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-06] (during [[736: Cemetery]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header text|{{{1|The {{Header link|[http://blag.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ color survey results]}} are up!}}}}}
|This header text references the color survey, which was also mentioned the previous month in a different header. The color survey was an online survey in which users were presented with a completely random color and asked to give it a name, in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive color and language.
|Other promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100427162424/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-27] (during [[732: HDTV]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100408053329/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[724: Hell]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[725: Literally]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|If you liked the unixkcd interface, you can keep using it [xkcd.com/unixkcd here]! 
My [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ survey of color names] is almost done! Want to help?}}}}}
|This was a very simple header, alerting readers to the fact that, if they enjoyed [[Unixkcd]], that year's April Fools' Day redesign, it could still be accessed. While the website in the text no longer works, it can be accessed at uni.xkcd.com. It also mentions Randall's 'survey of color names', which is a survey that Randall conducted where responders were given a completely random color and asked to name it, hoping to provide some insight into how people perceive color.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100304093951/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-03-04] {{nowrap|(during [[709: I am]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[719: Brain Worms]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints new prints] and [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints posters][http://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
I'm doing a [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ Color name survey]. Want to help?}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. The top line was a very simple copy-paste advertisement for the Store, advertising signed prints of comics. Oddly, the links behind 'new prints' and 'posters' are exactly the same and would have taken you to the same place regardless of which one you clicked. The second line was an advertisement for the xkcd color name survey, where respondents were given a random color and asked to name it in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive colors and language.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100102003314/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-01-02] {{nowrap|(during [[683: Science Montage]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100215231756/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-02-15] {{nowrap|(during [[702: Snow Tracking]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}}}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091202010210/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[669: Experiment]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091225151809/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-25] {{nowrap|(during [[680: December 25th]]}})
|[[File:2009 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store - now shipping for Christmas delivery}}
|This simple header text served the purpose of alerting readers to the fact that the xkcd store could ship in time for Christmas, if anybody wanted to buy an xkcd-themed gift for somebody. However, the last time this text was archived was on Christmas Day, far after the store could have shipped anything in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20091027132448/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091115070508/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!
|This was the final header text to promote [[xkcd: volume 0]], a compilation of some of the best xkcd comics up to that point, along with footnotes and <s>a mysterious cipher</s> other additions. This header text served two distinct stints, as it was interrupted for just a few hours on October 27th by xkcd's GeoCities memorial.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20091027014324/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-10-27] (during [[654: Nachos]])
|GeoCities is shutting down today. To commemorate this, xkcd.com has been redesigned.">{{nowrap|[[File:Broken File Icon.png|25x25px]]}}
|For just a few hours on October 27th, 2009, xkcd was redesigned to be a chaotic mess in memory of {{w|GeoCities}}, replicating a stereotypical GeoCities site. GeoCities was a free web hosting service which, due to the very low barrier of entry, was known for children and teens hosting their own sites which looked similar to the redesign. This resulted in many pieces of broken code, which is replicated in the header text. Please note that the text had effects on it which cannot be replicated here, such as the image being in place of a superscript and the text containing a marquee effect.
|???
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20090918105905/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090923040934/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|’’’First Version:’’’ 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in New York and the Bay Area.}}}}}

’’’Second Version:''' 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in the Bay Area.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, which are compiled here because the second came right after the first and told you the exact same thing. The first version let you know that [[xkcd: volume 0]], the first-ever xkcd book, had been released and could be purchased in the store when it was online. It also told you about the small book tour that Randall would be doing, with stops in New York City and the San Francisco Bay area. This version was last archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090921130537/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-21]. The second version was exactly the same, except for the fact that Randall had apparently already gone to NYC, and was now presumably on his way to the Bay Area for that stop.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090903095219/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[631: Anatomy Text]]}})
|{{Header text|Ever wanted {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?tie#xkcdtie an xkcd tie]}}?}}
|This was a very simple store promotion, stating that you could now get an xkcd-themed necktie from the store. It depicted various characters doing actions they did in previous comics they were featured in. An image of the tie is included below.

[[File:xkcd tie.jpg|150x150px]]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090801182533/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2009-08-01 {{nowrap|(during [[617: Understocked]]}})
|{{Header text|I'll be at {{Header link|[http://connecticon.org/ Connecticon]}} this weekend. 
If you're in the area, come say hi!}}
|This simple header promoted the fact that Randall was planning on travelling to Connecticon. Connecticon is an annual fan convention which dabbles in "all things Pop-culture", and it regularly hosts celebrity guests and panels. It's named such because, since its founding, it has been based in Hartford, Connecticut. Randall was one of many webcomic-creating guests who were invited, but it seems he was attending as a guest and nothing more.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-17] {{nowrap|(during [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090730084817/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[616: Lease]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are signed prints in the {{Header link|[http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350if_/http://xkcd.com:80/store/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header, being a simple combination of the standard header text and a copy-pasted store promotion. The 'signed prints' that Randall is referring to are printed-out versions of comics which were hand-signed by Randall and could be purchased in the store before it shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090313220423/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090314231453/xkcd.com/ 2009-03-14] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20081218103735/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[518: Flow Charts]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20090311133423/https://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[554: Not Enough Work]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} now has {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}.}}
|This header text was a simple, copy-paste store promotion advertising signed print-outs of comics, which could be ordered in the store before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20081216003547/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[517: Marshmallow Gun]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} (now with {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}!) is running smoothly, 
so we’ve extended the US Christmas order deadline to Tuesday.}}
|This header text was to let people know that apparently, it was not too late to order things and get them shipped in time for Christmas (with the obligatory advertisement for the signed comic print-outs, of course). This text was almost certainly up before it was archived, however, as the 'Tuesday' in question was the very day that it was added to archive.org. The wording is also a bit confusing, as it implies that either 1)they were expecting the store to NOT be running smoothly or 2)the store running smoothly at all is unexpected.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081202150349/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[511: Sleet]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20081211124445/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-11] {{nowrap|(during [[515: No One Must Know]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ Order]}} before the 12th to ensure 
US delivery before the 25th.}}
|This was the routine December header text at this point. It let readers know that there was not only new merch in the store, but also revealed the date you needed to order to have delivery guaranteed by the 25th. This date would later be extended to the 16th, but nobody knew about that at this point.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081002175315/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[483: Fiction Rule of Thumb]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081125150337/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[508: Drapes]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} XKCD updates every Monday, 
Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This rather oddly-formatted header text was a simple store promotion and standard header combo, letting people know that new merch had been added to the store. Randall was seemingly quite proud of all the new stuff that had been recently added to the shop, because the store had been advertised for over 4 straight months at this point and would continue to be promoted until 4 months later. This is the first, and seemingly only, time that the standard header text has been broken up into multiple lines.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080805184617/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[458: Regrets]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080922225907/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[479: Tones]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} New {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ shirt and skirt]}} now shipping.}}
|This was the second header in a row to promote the store. This one promoted 'new merchandise', more specifically a shirt and a skirt, which were apparently shipping at the time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080728075533/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-28] {{nowrap|(during [[455: Hats]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and skirt in the {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header. It said that there had been new releases in the store, being a shirt and, rather unexpectedly, a skirt. No clue what would have been put on a skirt, but it existed.
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080617035452/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-06-17] {{nowrap|(during [[437: SUV]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080703181835/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-03] {{nowrap|(during [[444: Macgyver Gets Lazy]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080409062908/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[408: Overqualified]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080430072916/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-30] {{nowrap|(during [[417: The Man Who Fell Sideways]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}} is back.}}
|This rather ominous header text came after the store had apparently gone away for a few months. This was one of the shortest header texts ever, coming in at just four words and 15 characters.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080321072739/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-03-21] {{nowrap|(during [[399: Travelling Salesman Problem]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD is updated every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
The [http://store.xkcd.com/ {{Header link|store] {{Header text|is back.}}}}}}
|This rather ominous header text was an announcement of the reinstatement of the xkcd store, which had apparently gone away for some time between January 16th, 2008 (the last time the store had been promoted on the header text) and March 21st, 2008 (the only time this header text was archived). I find it funny that Randall successfully made it sound like the xkcd store was a supervillain from a children's cartoon or the antagonist in a bad 1970s sci-fi movie.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080218115842/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-18] {{nowrap|(during [[385: How it Works]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
Blag: [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/aliens/ {{Header link|Aliens] {{Header text|and [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/the-laser-elevator/ {{Header link|laser elevators]{{Header text|.}}}}}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple promotion of two recent Blag posts. 'Aliens' was a short rant about how poorly we were seaching for extraterrestrial life, and a prediction that the search for alien life would ramp up 'in a decade' (which, at the time of this post going up, would have been 2018). This obviously didn't end up panning out. The other one, laser elevators, is a rant about how bad {{w|Solar sail|Solar sails}} are, and shows a solution that a recent study had come up with, where a photon could be repeatedly bounced between a solar sail and a large reflective panel to create large amounts of energy. The post then goes farther off the rails, comparing physics to sex and then creating a theory where, using a Dyson sphere and a series of lasing cavities within it, a laser could be created and aimed at a star, creating an effective method for interstellar war. The post ends with a message to the aliens: the rather brash "FUCK YOU GUYS!"
|Other promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20080116055414/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[371: Compiler Complaint]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080202114535/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[378: Real Programmers]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071212040227/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[355: Couple]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20080113050121/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-13] {{nowrap|(during [[369: Dangers]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]] 
[http://xkcd.com/store {{Header link|xkcd store]}}
|This was the traditional, annual store promotion, banner and all. However, unlike past future promotions, this header did not actually mention Christmas, it just kinda happened to be there during Christmas. It was clearly a Christmas promotion. And if that wasn't convincing enough, the actual name of the image in the header text is 'christmas_imglink'. However, 'christmas_imglink' stayed until mid-january, about 3 weeks after Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071125101002/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071209030605/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-09] {{nowrap|(during [[354: Startling]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]]
|This header was quite short-lived. It contained a single image which promoted the store. Because of this header's low uptime and the contents of the next header, it is quite possible that Randall simply forgot to include the actual link to the store, which is what the next header added.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071117155253/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-17] {{nowrap|(during [[345: 1337: Part 5]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071123133252/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-23] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]{{Header text|!}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple store promotion promoting a shirt and a hoodie, which was in the store at the time before it got shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071112104631/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-12] {{nowrap|(during [[341: 1337: Part 1
]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071116040809/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-16] {{nowrap|(during [[344: 1337: Part 4]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]}}!
There will be five comics this week, one each weekday!}}
|This header text combined the previous header text advertising the store with a notification about the 1337 Series, which was a 5-part comic series that Randall was creating at the time. Comics would release each weekday for that week, and Randall notified readers of this.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071027094704/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-27] {{nowrap|(during [[334: Wasteland]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071111214505/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-11] {{nowrap|(during [[340: Fight]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for preorder in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]}}!}}
|This was a very simple header text, advertising a new shirt and a hoodie in the xkcd store. It was only up for a few days before the 1337 series notice was added.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20071024131946/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-24] {{nowrap|(during [[333: Getting Out of Hand]]}})
|''(no header text)''
|Randall, having put up the standard header text for a bit, forgot to put up the replacement text for the second time in a month. This was very short-lived, so it didn't affect too much. Presumably, Randall was trying to replace the previous standard header with the store promotion in the next one, but forgot to put in the new one, leaving the header text blank.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071005115902/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-05] {{nowrap|(during [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071023083642/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-23] {{nowrap|(during [[332: Gyroscopes]]}})
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every monday, wednesday, and friday}}
|A return to the standard header text. This was the last time a version of the standard header without any capitalized letters was used, but a version with 'xkcd' all in lowercase did reemerge later.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071004202736/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-04] {{nowrap|(during [[324: Tapping]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071004213008/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-04] {{nowrap|(during [[324: Tapping]]}})
|''(no header text)''
|Randall forgets the text again! This is the second time in a month that he did this, as Randall had a bit of a habit of forgetting the header text when replacing them. This time, it was after the new forums promotion. Luckily, thos only happened for a few hours before Randall remembered.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071002094941/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[323: Ballmer Peak]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071003015205/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-03] {{nowrap|(during [[324: Tapping]]}})
|{{Header text|You can use [http://forums3.xkcd.com/ {{Header link|forums3.xkcd.com]}} until DNS 
updates.
|This was a notification for readers that they could still use forums3, apparently an older version of the xkcd forums, until DNS (Domain Name System) updated. DNS, put ''very'' simply, is the process by which servers connect with websites. Presumably, the website didn't support the next DNS update and it wouldn't work post-update. Don't know why Randall couldn't just update the website, but okay.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20070917215531/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-17] {{nowrap|(during [[317: That Lovin' Feelin']]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20070926234657/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-26] {{nowrap|(during [[321: Thighs]]}})
|''(no header text)''
|Randall once again forgets to put something else into the Header text field when he takes out the previous, leading to literally nothing being there.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20070809012909/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-08-09] {{nowrap|(during [[300: Facebook]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20070904063904/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[311: Action Movies]]}})
|{{Header text|Reality-modifying stickers and a new shirt in the [https://xkcd.com/store {{Header link|store]}}!}}
|This was a simple store promotion. Why they are 'reality-modifying', I don't know, because the link takes you directly to the store and not an archive, so their appearance is unknown.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|}

===2007-06-10 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070610103907/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-10] (during [[With Apologies to The Who]])
*The text: 

*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070714202506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-07-14] (during [[Alone]]) Gap is between July 14th and AUGUST NINTH

===2007-06-02 - Powers of 1(0)===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070602203916/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-02] (during [[Powers of One]])
*The text: 
Background:{{w|Powers of ten|Powers of Ten}} on Wikipedia
*One archive, 8-day gap, when will this end…

===2007-05-24 - Communities map poster===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-24] (during [[Choices: Part 4]])
*The text: 
The [https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://xkcd.com/store/ Online Communities Map poster] is now shipping. 
This week, XKCD updates every weekday.
*One archive, 9-day gap

===2007-05-19 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070519162137/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-19] (during [[Certainty]])
*The text: 

*One archive, 5-day gap… sigh…. How do we even categorize these? I haven’t thought about that…

===2007-05-06 - Preorder 256 posters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-06] (during [[Code Talkers]]
*The text: 
You can preorder posters of the online communities map in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*This one line was so long that you couldn’t see the end of the word ‘store’
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070514171227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-14] (during [[Regarding Mussolini]]). 5-day gap.

===2007-05-03 - 2^8th comic===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-03] (during [[Online Communities]])
*The text: 
Hooray, the 2^8th comic! 
By popular demand: preorder a [https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster] of this map!
*Please note that we have no clue if there was any actual demand for a poster
*One archive, but no ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-24 - Back to standard text===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070324053307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-24] (during [[Blagofaire]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070406171936/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-04-06]. The next archive after this is from MAY THIRD.

===2007-03-21 - Good shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070321155442/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-21] (during [[Pet Peeve 114]])
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store].
*One archive, but only a three-day gap. No ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-16 - Sense of Security Blag===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-16] (during [[Collecting Double-Takes]]
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://blag.xkcd.com/ Lost: comic originals, sense of security.] (blag post)
*One archive, 5-day gap…. ‘’sigh’’

===2007-03-06 - Map of the internet – That you can buy!===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-06] (during [[Cat Proximity]])
*The phrases ‘new:’ are both in red
*The text: 
New: Map of the Internet [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster print] 
New: Two new shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20070314012824/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-14] (during [[Escape Artist]]) (yes, I said ended, not ‘last archived version’)

===2007-02-12 - Shirt restock===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-12] (during [[Small Talk]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://xkcd.com/store/ T-shirts] are restocked (for now) and shipping promptly!
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070227234312/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-27]. Sadly, a seven-day archive gap means we’re back to suffering.

===2007-02-10 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070210042242/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-10] (during [[Random Number]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Only one archive, but THE GAP IS ONLY TWO DAYS!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!

===2007-02-02 - New blag post===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-02] (during [[e to the pi Minus pi]])
*The text: 
New blag post: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://blag.xkcd.com/2007/01/29/washingtons-farewell-address-translated-into-the-vernacular/ Washington’s Farewell Address in everyday speech].
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070204031035/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-04] (during [[Nintendo Surgeon]]). A six-day archive gap means we once again can’t have any fun.

===2007-01-24 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070124194143/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-24] (during [[The Problem with Wikipedia]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Just one archive once again! And, once again, a long archive gap means we can’t have any fun

===2007-01-19 - He zorbed too hard :(===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-19] (during [[Brain]])
*ZORB is a company offering experiences where you roll downhill in human-sized available Hampster balls. Apparently, he's attempting to acquire one of the balls for himself, and failing.
*The text: 
I tried writing to [https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.zorb.com/ zorb] but I can’t convince them to send me one.
*Only one archive, lasted anywhere from 1-8 days

===2006-12-31 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061231002902/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-31] (during [[Hallucinations]])
*The standard header’s first appearance in its current form
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archive is [https://web.archive.org/web/20070114100227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-14] (during [[Kayak]]). This is only an approximation, as there’s a 5-day archive gap.

===2006-12-14 - Xmas Orders closed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-14] (during [[Command Line Fu]])
*The text: 
Christmas orders are closed! They will finish shipping shortly! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thecutest.info/ TheCutest]
*OH MY GOD THERE IS A 2.5 WEEK GAP

===2006-12-09 - Deadline 12/13===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061209222812/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-09] (during [[Penises]])
*The first line is in red, except for the link, which is the normal color. The second line is the normal color.
*The text: 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th. 
Supplies are limited; shirts are not guaranteed to stay in stock
*Only one archive once again! A 5-day gap in the archives mean we don’t know when it ended…or began.

===2006-12-05 - Useless shirt===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-05] (during [[Working for Google]])
*The second line of text is in red, except for the period at the end of the sentence.
*The text: 
New ‘Useless’ shirt available in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]! (Supplies limited) 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th.
*Actually, first time in a while where we really can just include that one archive, maybe with a ‘circa’ attached tho

===2006-11-29 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061129035519/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-11-29] (during [[Exercise]])
*The text: 

*Unknown end date (6-day gap), lasted only one archive

===2006-11-18 - Need submitters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-18] (during [[Wikifriends]])
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info] - Have voters, need submitters. 
(Content is user-submitted and may occasionally not be work-safe.)
*End date unknown (11-day archive gap). lasted only one archive.

===2006-11-09 - New toys===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-09] (during [[Interblag]]
*The text 
New toys: [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info]
*End date unknown again, 8-day gap in archives

===2006-10-13 - Nothing===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061013224954/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-10-13] (during [[Turn Back]])
*The text: 

*Both start and end date unknown, as there is a 2-3-week gap between archives. One archive

===2006-09-01 - IRC channel===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-09-01] (during [[Mario]])
*The website at the end of the text isn’t a link, but the words ‘xkcd irc channel’ are.
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://xkcd.com/store/ Store] has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends. 
NEWS: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?t=207 xkcd irc channel] (#xkcd on irc.foonetic.net)
*We have literally no clue about anything between September 1st and October 13th. And the one on October 13th is just nothing! Also, one archive

===2006-08-29 - BEEG shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-29] (during [[Sandwich]]
*The word ‘news’ is still in all caps, but has lost its boldness.
*The text: 
Two t-shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]! One sweet, one bitchin’. 
NEWS: Store has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends.
*Just one archive, but at least we’re only limited to a 3-day window. Don’t include ‘until unknown’ here

===2006-08-19 - Parody Week Dinosaur===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-19] (during [[Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics]])
*Sadly, this is the only archive from the entirety of parody week. We can only assume that each comic from Parody Week had a very similar header to this, but they are all lost media now.
*The text: 
Saturday is the last day to vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://xkcd.com/date/ date contest]! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://qwantz.com/ Dinosaur Comics] tribute! Regular comics return Monday.
*Only one archive. Because the header is specific to this comic (but not comic-specific - it was definitely global), we can probably say that this header left as the global header when the next comic came out.

===2006-08-12 - Next Week Parody Week===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060812105656/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-12] (during [[Delicious]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is formatted the same as last time
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ Next week is Parody Week! New comic every weekday!
*Ended sometime around [https://web.archive.org/web/20060813123244/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-13] (during [[Delicious]])

===2006-08-10 - Awesome date project===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-10] (during [[I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is in BOLD and ALL CAPS, but isn’t thicc like last time.
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/store/ Signed prints] of many comics are available! 
Don’t forget to help vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/date/ awesome date project]!
*Only one archive, and this time only two days between archives. We can only include the archive this time, not the ‘until unknown’

===2006-07-21 - BestThing.info===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-21] (during [[Fans]])
*’SISTER PROJECT’ is bold and in ALL CAPS (it’s also very thicc, which is odd. Same thickness as header link.)
*The text: 
Comic updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
SISTER PROJECT: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://bestthing.info/ BestThing.info] - decide What’s Best!
*Only one archive, but the end date is unknown as there are ~3 weeks between headers. End with ‘until Unknown’

===2006-07-20 - Video unearthed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060720090950/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-20] (during [[Julia Stiles]])
*News is once again in big and bold
*The text:
**NEWS: I've unearthed the video referenced in today's comic!
**Check the news section of the forums to watch it.
*Only one archive (this was a time of quick, very short-lived headers)

===2006-07-14 - Sunday last day===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-14] (during [[dPain over dt]])
*the word 'news' is, again, big and bold.
*The text:
**NEWS: Sunday is the last day to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]]!
*only one archive once again
===2006-07-10 - One week for tees===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-10] (during [[Red Spiders Cometh]])
*the word 'news' is '''<big>Big n' Bold</big>'''
*The text:
**NEWS: One week left to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]!
*Only one archive

===2006-07-05 - Comic 23 Tee===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-05]
*Top red line is bold
*The text:
**Get a t-shirt based on comic #23 in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]!
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060706040359/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-06] (during [[Blogofractal]])

===2006-06-16 - DYK forums===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-16] (during [[Meerkat]])
*The same format as the previous one. two lines of red text
*The text:
**T-shirts shipped out Monday morning!
**Did you know we have active [https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://forums.xkcd.com/ forums]?
*Again, only this archive

===2006-06-12 - Packaged T-shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060612221916/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-12] (during [[Computational Linguists]])
*Text is in red sans-serif
*First time t-shirts are mentioned, but the two months in between archives probably contained something forever lost to time.
*The text:
**T-shirts are packaged and shipping first thing Monday!
*Only this one archive had this header

===2006-04-08 - nothin'===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060408214700/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-04-08] (during [[Digital Rights Management]])
*Now it's in WingDings!
*The text:
**
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060428065305/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-04-28] (during [[95: The Sierpinski Penis Game]])

===2005-12-12 - Composite face images===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-12-12]
*MORE TNR!
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
**I also create [https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/morphs/ composite images of faces] (available on commission)
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060207154349/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-02-07] (during [[Super Bowl]])

===2005-11-26 - ASCG===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-26] (during [[Old Notebook]])
*More TNR
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I also run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
*Only up one archive
|-
|From c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] {{nowrap|(during [[21: Kepler]]}} until c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] {{nowrap|(during [[31: Barrel - Part 5]]}}
|{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
|This header text was a very short bio of Randall. It detailed multiple different things going on in his life.

{{w|RoboWar}} is a strategy-based video game where one must code a virtual robot to eliminate all others and be the last one standing. The game hosted regular competitions until mid-2003, at which point the player base began to die out. Evidently, RoboWar made a temporary return in 2005, which Randall was celebrating. He also provided a link to the official version of the game which supported {{w|Windows (operating system)|Windows}}.

[[Blue Eyes]] is a logic puzzle uploaded to xkcd c.2004, advertised as 'the hardest logic puzzle in the world'.
===2005-10-18 - Basic Bio===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] (during [[Kepler]])
*This was in the Times New Roman font, idk why.
*The text:
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] (During [[Barrel - Part 5]])

User:DollarStoreBa'al/WORKPAGE

2026-04-02T14:48:24Z

DollarStoreBa'al: E X P A N S I O N

<big><big><big>IF YOU AREN'T DOLLARSTOREBA'AL, LEAVE NOW! IT'S A SURPRISE!!!</big></big></big>

<big><big><big><big>I MEAN IT!</big></big></big></big>

{{notice|<big><big><big><big>REMEMBER: ALWAYS PUT ON THE MOTIVATIONAL PLAYLIST BEFORE WORKING</big></big></big></big>}}
{{notice2|<big><big><big><big>ADD MORE SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST</big></big></big></big>}}
==Header Texts==
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" |Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
!Purpose
|-
|Find Archive (3074)
[[3074: Push Notifications]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was created with [http://github.com/cotrone {{Header link|Kevin Controne]}}, [https://chromakode.com {{Header link|Max Goodhart]}}, [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ {{Header link|Patrick]}}, [https://github.com/benley {{Header link|Benjamin Staffin]}}, [http://burningcandle.io/ {{Header link|Conor Stokes]}}, and [https://github.com/ayust {{Header link|Amber]}}.}}}}}
|This comic's header text gives credit to those who helped Randall create 2025's April Fools' Day comic. Each link takes you to the person's social media page, GitHub page, or personal website. At the time of writing (October 2025), this is the only comic to have a unique header text past comic #3000, meaning it's been over half a year since a comic has had a unique header.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-07-11]
[[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic accidentally inspired by 
[https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ {{Header link|this Buttersafe comic] {{Header text|from 2011!}}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions that it was 'accidentally inspired' by [https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ a Buttersafe comic]. It is assumed, but not confirmed, that the custom text was on the front page until the next comic, [[2958]], was published. The header text makes it clear that not only is he a fan of Buttersafe (as shown in the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics I enjoy]] section of [xkcd.com]), but he also did not know of the existence of this comic until after it was published. This is shown with the fact that [https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ it was not shown until the next day]. This text is permanently shown with this comic. As a special situation, this header text did not replace the current global header text, but was instead added below it at the time ([[#2024-05-15_-_Special_10th_anniversary_edition_of_WHAT_IF.3F|10th anniversary for what if?]])
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240406163326/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-04-06]
[[2916: Machine]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://github.com/spyhi Ed White], [https://twitter.com/uh_oh_thats_bad Alex Garcia], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], 
[http://burningcandle.io/ Conor & Ami Stokes], [https://liranuna.com/ Liran Nuna], [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick], 
[https://manishearth.github.io/ Manish Goregaokar],

[https://github.com/benley Benjamin Staffin], [https://github.com/ayust Amber], and [https://github.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg] with physics by [https://rapier.rs/ Rapier].}}
| This comic's header text mentions the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Saturday 6 April 2024 until [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] came out on Monday 8 April 2024. The earliest archived version of the next comic is from the following Tuesday [http://web.archive.org/web/20240409060444/https://xkcd.com/ 9 April 2024]. It is assumed that the header text changed late on Monday 8 April 2024, despite the fact that Machine was still up at that time, as shown in [https://web.archive.org/web/20240408225854/https://xkcd.com/ this archive]. When [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] was released, the front page had returned to the normal header.

As seen in the text, many people were involved. Some helped with two previous [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comics]], but there are many more involved in this comic than anything which came before it. Clicking on each person takes you to a link of their Instagram, Twitter, or the homepage of their own website/blog. In the credits, it is seen that the physics for the comic used Rapier, the Fast 2D and 3D physics engine for the {{w|Rust (programming language)| Rust programming language}}. This header text was removed from the homepage on [https://web.archive.org/web/20240409010518/https://xkcd.com/2916/ 2022-04-09], but it stayed as a permanent header for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20]
[[2765: Escape Speed]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was put together with help from [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick Clapp], 
[https://amberyu.st/ Amber], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], and [https://www.aiweirdness.com/ Janelle Shane].}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put the comic together. Despite the fact the comic was supposed to be a Wednesday release according to the archives, it was on the homepage from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20] until Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230421082400/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-21], when the next comic ([[2766: Helium Reserve]]) was released and the page returned to its normal header. This header text remains as a permanent header text for this comic.

Clicking each name takes you to their Instagram/Twitter page or the homepage of their own website/blog. Most had helped with the two previous April Fools' day comic (see below).
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|FIND ARCHIVE HERE}}
[[2729: Planet Killer Comet Margarita]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was drawn for Daniel Becker, based on 
[https://what-if.xkcd.com/162/ his winning question] submitted to the [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2 What If? 2 contest].
|This header celebrated the winner of Randall's What If? 2 Contest, being one Daniel Becker. It mentions that the comic was based off the winning question's entry into the What If? blog.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01]
[[2601: Instructions]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with 
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/chromakode @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], 
[https://twitter.com/xDirtyPunkx Conor], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01] until Tuesday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220405031003/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-05], when [[2602: Linguistics]] came out and the front page returned to its normal header.

Clicking on each of the names takes you to the person's Instagram/Twitter page. Five also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header was only related to 2601, it was removed from the frontpage header, but it stayed up as a permanent header on this specific comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01]
[[2445: Checkbox]]
|{{Header text|This comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], 
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], and [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped put it together. It was on the front page from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01] until [[2446: Spike Proteins]] released Monday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210405130031/http://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-05].

Each person has a link to their name, the first being a personal homepage, and the other six linking to their Twitter accounts. Five of these people also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header is related only to this comic, it was removed from the front page and continued as a permanent header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 2020-04-04]
[[2288: Collector's Edition]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was only on the front page for about 1 day, around the 3rd or [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 4th of April] 2020, the day before [[2289: Scenario 4]] came out, and the header text returned to normal.

Each name credited has either a personal homepage or a Twitter profile, except for the last name, which isn't linked.

As this header text was only relevant to this comic, it was removed as the front page header and stayed as a permanent header to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20171214171157/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-12-14]
[[1928: Seven Years]]
|{{Header text| Becky Beaton, sister of fellow cartoonist Kate Beaton, 
has also been diagnosed with cancer.

You can support her treatment [https://www.youcaring.com/beckybeaton-1008390 here].}}
|This text was released as a response to the cancer diagnosis of Becky Beaton, the sister of {{w|Kate Beaton}}, the author of the webcomic [http://www.harkavagrant.com/ Hark! A Vagrant]. Although this is not on Randall's list of ''[[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics he enjoys]]'', he is clearly influenced by a cancer diagnosis among someone in his creative field.

Despite the fact that the support page was discontinued, this text continues to stay on this comic. Making this weirder is the fact that Randall has previously done something similar for another friend, Emily, but [[#2014-11-27_-_Help_Emily|that header]] was not made permanent.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES WOOO!!}}
[[1975: Right Click]]
|{{Header text|A number of people collaborated to build this comic, including 
[https://chromakode.com/ @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/aiiane/ Amber] [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest/ @fadinginterest] 
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501/ Kat], [https://twitter.com/cotrone/ Kevin], and [https://90d.ca/ Stereo].
|This comic gave credit to the people that helped Randall put together that year's April Fools' Day comic. Most contributors mentioned in this text have also helped with other comics since then. Each link in the text took you to either the contributors' social media page or their own personal website.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20170428041338/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-04-28]
[[1830: ISS Solar Transit 2]]
|{{Header text|Previously:}} {{Header link|[[1828: ISS Solar Transit|ISS Solar Transit]]}}
|This header links back to [[1828: ISS Solar Transit]], a comic with the same joke setup released on the Monday of the same week
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES!}}
[[1738: Moon Shapes]]
|{{Header text|Thank you to Phil Plait for the correction on #4!}}
|This header gives credit to Phil Plait, who corrected a mistake in the comic and prompted Randall to update the comic after its release.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161010215516/http://xkcd.com/1723/ 2016-10-10]
[[1723: Meteorite Identification]]
|{{Header text|Note: Jolyon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], made a similar chart way before me!}}
|This Header text gives credit to Joylon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], who made a very similar comic to this long before Randall. This Header text is permanently attached to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160512102325/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-05-12]
[[1679: Substitutions 3]]
|{{notice|FInd the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This comic was the third installment of the ''Substitutions'' series. As he did the same with [[#Substitutions 2|the second]], the header text is very similar.

This header text is a permanent staple of this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161231231600/http://xkcd.com/1663/ 2016-04-04]
[[1663: Garden]]
|{{Header text|Protip: If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it. 
You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}
|This comic had a header text to help people use the comic when it came out. It was the global header text for some time, before it disappeared from the main header and remained as the header for Garden.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160104171722/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-01-04]
[[1625: Substitutions 2]]
|{{notice|Find the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This header text was used as a link to the previous installment of the ''substitutions'' series. When [[xkcd_Header_text#Substitutions_3|Substitutions 3]], Randall made a separate header text linking to Substitutions 1 and 2. It was on the main page while the comic was up, and continues as a header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|[F]AR[T]CHIVES}}
[[1446: Landing]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|A big thank-you to [https://www.planetary.org/blogs/emily-lakdawalla/ Emily Lakdawalla] for help and advice on this comic.}}}}}
|This header gives credit to Emily Lakdawalla, who helped Randall create the comic, which was a live comic-based recreation of the landing of Philae, a probe designed by the ESA to land on Comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. It is assumed that Emily was the reason that Randall was able to get current information about the landing so quickly.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|{{notice|notice|notice|notice|}}
[[1127: Congress]]
|{{Header text|You can get this comic as a [https://store.xkcd.com/products/congress-poster poster]!
|This header text is the only one to be a permanent header text promoting the store. At the time of writing (November 2025), the store is offline, meaning that this link doesn't work. This is the most recent comic-specific header text to promote the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-07-09]
[[1079: United Shapes]]
|{{Header text|There's a larger version of this map 
[http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ here] (Colorado is [http://xkcd.com/1079/colorado/ here]). 
It's also available as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#StateMap poster].}}
|This header was only on July 9th, 2012, the day this comic came out. The day after, every page except the front page displayed [[xkcd_Header_text#2012-07-10_-_New:_what-if.xkcd.com|a different header]].

On the 13th of July, other pages had a new version of the header above. Later, 1079 gained a special combined header text, removing the part about Colorado and consolidating the unique header text into a single sentence. The new global header text, promoting the first installment of the What if? blog, was inserted below the unique text, creating a very unique combination header. Possibly due to a bug, the What if? announcement remains on the comic to this day, despite the fact that it was a normal global header, which changed for all other pages many years ago.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|Put me down as 'not excited'}}
[[1052: Every Major's Terrible]]
|{{Header text|Cool--someone's already taken a crack at [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1VhsNOwPU/ singing this]!
|This header text promoted an attempt at someone singing the comic, which was a parody of the {{w|Major-General's Song}}. It links to a YouTube video of the attempt. As seen from the text, this header was not up with the release of the comic, but instead came out later.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120425220409/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-25]
[[1047: Approximations]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Lots of emails mention the physicist favorite, 1 year = pi x 107 seconds. 
75^4 is a hair more accurate, but it's hard to top 3,141,592's elegance.}}}}}
|This comic has a permanent header text stating that many people emailed Randall about a separate approximation for the amount of seconds in a year. However, because the earliest archive already shows this text, it is unlikely that Randall actually received these emails before changing the text.

This header text was unique to this comic from the start, as other comics contained the global header text at the time of 1047's release date.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120401151639/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-01]
[[1037: Umwelt]]
|{{Header text|You can get posters, prints, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store].}}
|This comic's header text promotes the xkcd store permanently. Despite the fact that the comic was on the front page, this was a comic-exclusive header from the very beginning, as other comics had the global header text on 1037's release date.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120319130702/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-19]
[[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]]
|{{Header text|A helpful reader has provided an [https://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 s/keyboard/leopard/ user script].}}
|In response to the joke of this comic, a reader created a browser extension that replaces each instance of the word 'keyboard' with the word 'leopard'. Randall appears to have gotten this script before its official release, as it was already on the header on the day the comic was released. While the link does not go anywhere useful any longer, an archived version of the link can be accessed [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321174019/http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 here].

When [[1032: Networking]] came out on [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321205835/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-03-21], the header text had returned to how it was before.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111229043804/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-12-29]
[[996: Making Things Difficult]]
|{{Header text|Some context for the cancer comics: 
[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/]}}
|This header text links to Randall's [[Blag]], providing context for the recent comics relating to cancer. Around that time, his then-fiancee was diagnosed with Stage three Breast Cancer, which resulted in more emotional comics relating to cancer, leaving many readers confused.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120404110059/http://xkcd.com:80/980 2012-04-04]
[[980: Money]]
|{{Header text|This one was fun (and exhausting) to make. 
There's a poster of it in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/money-poster store]!}}
|This header text links to the store page for this comic, containing a large poster of the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111115231643/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-11-15]
[[977: Map Projections]]
|{{Header text|It turns out Monday was Steve Waterman's birthday. 
His [https://web.archive.org/web/20111118003418/http://www.watermanpolyhedron.com/ site] has posters of his map, 
plus maybe the world's only Winkel Tripel-critiquing poetry.}}
|This header text mentions the birthday of Steve Waterman, and links to the homepage of his website.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA, THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!}}
[[931: Lanes]]
|{{Header text|[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Some context].}}
|This header text gave context to the comic, which was in relation to cancer. At that point, Randall's wife was battling {{w|Breast cancer}}, so cancer was a major part of Randall's life at that point in time.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|HO-HO, HEE-HEE, HA-HA}}
[[920: YouTube Parties]]
|{{Header text|Oops! It seems I [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/07/04/oops/ wasn't the first one] to do this joke.}}
|This header text, which is very similar to the header text for [[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]], admits that Randall was accidentally inspired by a different comic which had done the same joke earlier. The link in the text took you to a blag post admitting to the accidental plagiarism.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|weer}}
[[896: Marie Curie]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic might be familiar to a few dozen of you. :) 
P.S. [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a message to those who 'might be familar' with the comic. The second was to promote a new Blag post, titled ''Michael Bay's Scenario''.
|
|-
|{{notice|Boneless Chicken}}
[[870: Advertising]]
|{{Header text|Note: This comic's filename was originally 'advertising.png'. If you 
couldn't see it, that was just your AdBlock zealously protecting you.}}}
|This header text let readers know about an issue with the comic not showing up that some users were experiencing. The comic was, apparently, being shown by displaying a PNG of the comic, which people's AdBlockers were mistaking for an advertisement, preventing the comic from appearing.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|8,866,550}}
[[865: Nanobots]]
|{{Header text|xkcd.com now has IPv6 connectivity. If [https://test-ipv6.com/ you] can't reach it, you or your 
ISP have [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPv6_brokenness_and_DNS_whitelisting/ misconfigured equipment]. Sadly, I now have no way to tell you.}}
|This comic's header lets readers know that xkcd supports IPv6 (Internet Protocol Version Six) connectivity, which assigns each device with an IP address and increases the amount of possible IP addresses to over 900 Undecillion. It also tells readers that if they are unable to access that connectivity, either they or their ISP haven't configured their equipment correctly. However, Randall admits he has no way to tell readers which end has the issue.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|2011-01-04
[[851: Na]]
|{{Header text|I can't ''believe'' I forgot Hey Jude. 
I don't get do-overs, but I couldn't resist making [https://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/ a fixed version].}}
|This header text appeared after Randall made this comic, consisting of songs known for repeating the lyric 'na'. After realizing he forgot 'Hey Jude' by {{w|The Beatles}}, he made a separate version of the comic with 'Hey Jude' included. See more in the comic's [[851:_Na#Trivia|trivia section]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|Neenannerneenannerneenannerneenanner}}
[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://www.smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weiner]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the last one before returning to normal. This header lets leaders know about who contributed to the comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Zach Weinersmith}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|choking on your alibis}}
[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://overcompensating.com/ Jeffrey Rowland]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the fourth one of five. It lets the readers know who contributed and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}}, author of the webcomic [https://www.wigucomics.com/oc/index.php?/ Overcompensating].
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|But it's just the price I pay!}}
[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://foxtrot.com Bill Amend]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the third one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Bill Amend}}, author of the webcomic {{w|FoxTrot}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|not nice}}
[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [http://www.buttercupfestival.com David Troupes]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the second one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was David Troupes, author of the webcomic {{w|Buttercup Festival}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|eciton}}
[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://questionablecontent.net Jeph Jacques]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was to let readers know of Guest Week, this comic being the first of five guest comics. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeph Jacques}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Questionable Content}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|meweeeeeeewrr}}
[[802: Online Communities 2]]
|{{Header text|Full view [https://xkcd.com/802_large/ here], poster [https://store.xkcd.com/products/online-communities-poster here]. Note: While I was working on this, 
Ethan Bloch posted [https://web.archive.org/web/20120111133638/https://www.flowtown.com/blog/the-2010-social-networking-map his own update] of my {{xkcd|256|my 2007 map}}. Check it out, too!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a larger version of the comic and also promote its poster, which could be found in the xkcd store before it was shut down. The second is to promote the fact that one Ethan Bloch had created his own update of {{xkcd|256|comic 256}}. The link above now takes you to an archive link as the original site is now defunct.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20100514072436/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-12]
[[739: Malamanteau]]
|{{Header text| At Wikipedia's request, I release this comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This comic's header text mentions that this specific comic is released under a Creative Commons 3.0 license. The link in the header text goes to the page regarding the Attribution Share-Alike 3.0 United States (CC BY-SA 3.0 US) license. Normally, xkcd is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 (CC BY-NC 2.5) license.

This comic's header didn't appear until between 2 and 4 months after it was published, with the earliest archive with the custom header text being from [https://web.archive.org/web/20100913003146/http://xkcd.com/739/ September 13th].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|ow}}
[[681: Gravity Wells]]
|{{Header text|Click on the comic to view the full-size version}}
|This simple header text lets readers know that, if they want a full-size version, they can click on the comic to access it.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|whuiae}}
[[657: Movie Narrative Charts]]
|{{Header text|This comic is also available as a poster [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters/products/movie-narrative-charts-poster here]! 
Click on today's comic to view the full-size version!}}
|This header text served two purposes. The first was to promote the fact that the comic could be acquired as a poster in the store before it was shut down. The second purpose was to let readers know that, if they wanted a larger version of the comic, they could access it by clicking on the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|archive find}}
[[645: RPS]]
|{{Header text|Comic today's you confuses [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_Polish_notation here] click if.}}
|This header text was a parody of the comic, being written in {{w|Reverse Polish notation}}. In normal notation, it would be read as 'Click here if today's comic confuses you', with the word 'here' linking to the Wikipedia page for Reverse Polish notation.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard}}
[[580: The Race: Part 4]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the last comic in the series and was released on a Thursday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 2}}
[[579: The Race: Part 3]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the third comic in the series, and was released on the normal release date of Wednesday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 3}}
[[578: The Race: Part 2]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the second installment in the series, being released on a Tuesday. This comic was also where the '(through Friday)' portion of the header got added. It's possible that people got confused and assumed that Randall would release 7 comics over 7 days, when he would actually be only releasing comics every day until Friday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 4}}
[[577: The Race: Part 1]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day.}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the first installment in the series, and was released on a Monday
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Those is great pants!}}
[[563: Fermirotica]]
|{{Header text|There are xkcd prints available in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
[https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=sqrt(2%2F(pi*18000%2F(mi^2)*80%2Fyear*30+minutes) Example Google sex calculation]
|This header served two purposes. It promoted the fact that you could get xkcd prints in the xkcd store before it was shut down, and also gave an example of the content shown in the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20081014232952/http://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-13]
[[488: Steal This Comic]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Note: the [https://www.amazon.com/MP3-Music-Download/b?ie=UTF8&node=163856011 Amazon.com MP3 store] sells DRM-free music. Kudos.}}}}}
|This comic and header text was made as a complaint of Digital Rights Management, or {{w|DRM}}. The header text makes a proclamation that the Amazon MP3 store sells DRM-free music, telling his readers how to acquire music not affected by DRM.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|You're doing it again}}
[[482: Height]]
|{{Header text|This comic is available as [https://store.xkcd.com/products/height-poster a poster print].}}
|This simple header served the purpose of advertising the fact that you could get this comic as a poster in the xkcd store, before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-05]
[[472: House of Pancakes|472: House of Pancakes]]
|{{Header text|(Today's comic is a parody of [https://www.amazon.com/House-Leaves-Mark-Z-Danielewski/dp/0375703764 House of Leaves].)}}
|When this comic was the newest, it was shown on the front page of xkcd, as seen here the day after release on [https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-06]. However, this header was only on this comic, and the normal header returned to the front page after comic 473 was released.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|the right ones}}
[[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
See: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0 Original Discovery Channel video]
|This header text serves to let the reader know of a video which they could watch, which contains the song that the comic is a parody of.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|where is my Spanish rn}}
[[433: Journal 5]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the final one in the series.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Before the nouns}}
[[432: Journal 4]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the fourth one in the series of five.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|This is let's write}}
[[426: Geohashing]]
|{{Header text|What is this about? See the [https://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/ wiki].}}
|This header text allowed the reader to do further research on the topic by linking to the official xkcd wiki, which was part of the long-defunct [[Forums]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|We will ever run out?}}
[[405: Journal 3]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|377|Journal 2}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series. Unlike the other installments of the Journal series, this text linked to the previous installment rather than the first installment.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Es el diablo}]
[[343: 1337: Part 3]]
|{{Header text|For use on Wikipedia, I release this particular 
comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This header text served the purpose of letting readers know that Randall had specially released this comic under a CC BY-SA 3.0 license, allowing for the image to be uploaded to {{w|Wikipedia}}. Normally, Randall normally releases his comics under a CC BY-NC 2.5 license, which, at the time, was not allowed to be uploaded to Wikipedia.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|}

{| class="sortable wikitable"
! Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" style=max-width:4em |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" | Purpose
|-
|From[https://web.archive.org/web/20260107215729/https://xkcd.com/3190/ 2026-01-07] {{nowrap|(during [[3190: Tensegrity]])}} until present.
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. This was the first change in the header text in over a year, and the first time the header text went to the standard text after almost exactly 4 straight years of book promotions.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241205201038/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[3020: Infinite Armada Chess]])}} until FIND
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]— 
revised and annotated with brand-new illustrations 
and answers to important questions you never thought to ask—Out now. 
Order it [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this text and the previous global header text is the final hyphen. The first link goes to the page for the new what if? book on xkcd, with the other link going to the Harper Collins (the publisher) page for the book. This header was up for over a year, except for the one month when Randall [[#2024-10-16 - Promotion of Kamala Harris for president|endorsed Harris]] for president. This makes it the longest time that ever that the header text has been left unchanged.

Because the previous header texts as well as the [[Countdown in header text|Header text countdown]] all promoted some sort of what if? book, the header has been continuously used to promote what if? for nearly 4 years at the time of writing.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241116184702/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-11-16] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241204160618/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-04] {{nowrap|(during [[3019: Advent Calendar Advent Calendar]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this header text and the next one was that during this time period, only preorders were available.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241017002108/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2999: Bad Map Projection: The United Stralia]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241115181146/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2024-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}}
|[[File:xkcd homepage strip harris for president.png|400x400px]]
|This header text was Randall's official endorsement of {{w|Kamala Harris}} for President during the {{w|2024 United States presidential election}}. He also posted the same image on his[https://x.com/xkcd/status/1853098106667114801 Twitter (formally X)] account and on his [https://bsky.app/profile/xkcd.com/post/3la2jku6ace2f Bluesky] account on November 3rd, two days before the election.

This text was up until November 11th, after the election had taken place and {{w|Donald Trump}} was declared the winner.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240515200351/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2933: Elementary Physics Paths]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241015192147/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2998: Ravioli-Shaped Objects]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|This text promotes the preorder of the 10th anniversary edition of the original what if? book. The first link goes to the page for the book on xkcd and the other link goes to the book's Harper Collins page (Harper Collins is the book's publisher). The same text was displayed after Randall's endorsement of Kamala Harris for president.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240320173158/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[2909: Moon Landing Mission Profiles]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240514034349/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2932: Driving PSA]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is on YouTube! The first video answers 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed Hubble at Earth?]” Follow the 
[https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif What If?] channel to be notified about new videos.}}}}}
|This header promotes the new what if? {{w|YouTube}} channel, in which Randall narrates a post on the what if? blog. At this point, the global header text had been promoting what if? for over two years.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20231129184009/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2861: X Value]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240319134138/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2908: Moon Armor Index]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is now on YouTube! 
Check out the first video for the answer to 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?]” 
and follow [https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif xkcd’s What If? The Video Series channel] to be notified about each new video.}}}}}
|This header promotes the what if? YouTube channel, narrated by Randall. The first link goes to the what if? page on xkcd, and the other two go to the new YouTube channel. A small change occurred [https://web.archive.org/web/20240314113602/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-14], where the first two lines became one line, making the alignment worse. This new version only lasted five days before a change was made, replacing it with a different, although very similar, header text.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230831200321/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-31]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2822: *@gmail.com]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20231128174224/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[2860: Decay Modes]])}}
|{{Header text| What if? 2 is [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/#UK now available] in paperback in the UK!}}
|This header text promotes the paperback version of what if? 2, notifying readers that it was available in the UK. The link goes to the page on xkcd about the what if? 2 book, and directing to the UK order link, where there was now an option to order a paperback copy.

An image was placed above the text, showing the front cover of the new book. Because this was not specifically related to what if? 2, it ended a streak of over 22 months where the header text was constantly promoting the book since the [[#2022-01-10_-_Standard_text_with_countdown|countdown]] began in January 2022.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230217185629/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2739: Data Quality]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230830064414/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2821: Path Minimization]])}}
|[[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|300x300px]]
|This header has no text, only an image of the front cover of the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220923182825/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-23]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230216181705/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2738: Omniknot]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 bestseller.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header consists of two images, with the one promoting the NYT bestseller list on the left.

This header somewhat obviously celebrates the fact that what if? 2, shortly after release, had claimed a spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913142432/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2672: What If? 2 Flowchart]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220922150042/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 out now.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header announces the release of Randall's what if? 2 book.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the book's page on the xkcd website.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-12]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913134002/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2671: Rotation]])}}
|[[File:one day till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to what had come out just two days before, which instead displayed an image showing 3 days.

The {{w|Les Miserables}} song mentioned is ''One Day More'', which is a fitting title for a song stuck in his head.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the xkcd page for ''what if? 2''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220911102450/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until 2022-09-12 (during [[2670: Interruption]])
|[[File:3 days till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to the header showing one week. which came out 4 days beforehand, and the header showing one day, which came out just one day after this header released.

Each image is a link, both taking you to the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220907211736/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]

From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220910024549/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}}
|[[File:1 week till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the third straight header to feature a two-image design, where the countdown was on the left and the book's cover was on the right.

It promoted the soon-to-be-released ''what if? 2'' book, which had been heavily promoted for nearly two weeks up to that point.

Each image is a link, which takes you the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220811055445/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-11]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2657: Complex Vowels]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220816124823/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20220827232205/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-27]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2664: Cloud Swirls]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220906191403/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}}
|[[File:Preorder what if? 2 header.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text, which advertised the fact that preorders were open for ''what if? 2'', was the global header text for two different stints. Instead of this being the global header from August 11th until September 6th, it was interrupted for 9 days while Randall's book tour was ongoing.

The image to the left was a link, which took you to a [https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 what if? 2 contest]. In this contest, one contestant's question would be answered by Randall and included in the book.

The image to the right takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220817161136/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220826202043/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2663: Tetherball Configurations]])}}
|[[File:what if? 2 book tour.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the first header of several to consist of two distinct images, and the third straight to contain the image of the book's cover after the countdown ended.

It promotes a book tour that Randall was taking at the time, to promote ''what if? 2''. Clicking the image took you to the [https://xkcd.com/events/ events page] of xkcd. At the time, it showed you a calendar with each planned stop on the book tour marked, covering the US and London.

The image on the right takes you to ''what if? 2'''s dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220719153239/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-19]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2647: Capri Suns]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220810034709/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2656: Scientific Field Prefixes]])}}
|{{Header text|Preorder What If? 2 (all US preorders eligible) and}} {{Header link|[https://sites.prh.com/whatif2/ enter our contest]}} {{Header text|for a chance to win a dedicated comic and What If blog post!}}[[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header contains text which promotes what if? 2, which was recently made available to preorder at that time.

Clicking the link in the text takes you to a site which allowed users to compete to have their question, along with an answer, be put in the book. While this link is now defunct, you can access an archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718171904/https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 here].

Clicking the image of the book's cover takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220201000434/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-02-01]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2575: What If? 2]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718145816/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[2646: Minkowski Space]])}}
|{{Header text|What If? 2: Additional Serious Scientific Answers to 
Absurd Hypothetical Questions comes out 9/13. 
Preorder [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ here!]}} [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text was the first header to promote ''what if? 2''. It promoted the fact that preorders were available, and that the book would come out 7 months later, on September 13th.

It also was the first of many headers promoting the book to consist of two parts, this one having some lines of text and an image of the book's cover.

This header's release coincided with multiple changes to the site, including a comic which also announced the new book and a change to the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#xkcd_links|xkcd links]] section of the site at the top-left corner. It now included links to books, and especially to this specific book.

The image of the book's cover, the link in the text, and the comic itself are all links to the book's dedicated xkcd page.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220110183238/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-10]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220131124817/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-31] {{nowrap|(during [[2574: Autoresponder]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}

[[File: Countdown in header text full animation.gif|200x200px]]
|This header text was an image, which slowly zoomed out and moved to reveal a promotion for ''What if? 2'', along with the standard header text.

In the image, there was a countdown, which began reading '''20d 22h 0m''' and ticked down every minute until only ten minutes were left. At that point, the image began shaking, and the countdown began counting seconds until it reached zero, at which point the final frame, which showed a snapshot of the book's cover, was displayed for a few minutes before the header text updated and the next comic came out.

When viewing the archives, the countdown actually still functions, and follows the internal clock of the user's computer for 59 minutes.

For a full transcript and explanation of this header, see [[Countdown in header text]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220108044654/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-08]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until 2022-01-10 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This header text was a return to the standard header text, which had not appeared as the global header since [[#2018-11-07 - Back to standard text|November 7th, 2018]], making this the longest period of time without the standard header text appearing even once.

As the [[#2022-01-10 - Standard text with countdown|countdown]] was added to it on the tenth, it was only the global header in this form for two days.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20211220211220/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-20]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2557: Immunity]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220106100957/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2564: Sunshield]])}}
|{{Header text|For anyone trying to find What If? this year, 
it's in stock at [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 Barnes & Noble], [https://m.booksamillion.com/p/What-If/Randall-Munroe/9780544272996 Books-a-Million], and [https://bookshop.org/books/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-9781483041827/9780544272996 Bookshop]}}
|This header text mentions the fact that, for anybody who wishes to purchase what if? for Christmas, it was in stock at multiple different book retailers. Each link is the corresponding store's link for ''[[What If? (book)|What If?]]''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200604003700/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-03]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2315: Eventual Consistency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20211219202204/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2556: Turing Complete]])}}
|[[File:BLM Header.png|200x200px]]
|This header promoted {{w|Black lives Matter}}, showing a single-panel comic with [[Cueball]] (possibly representing [[Randall]]), saying 'Black Lives Matter' with a grey box next to him reading '[https://www.joincampaignzero.org/ How To Help]'. However, instead of just this box being a link, the entire image is a link to joining Campaign Zero, a part of the BLM movement.

It came out shortly after the {{w|Killing of George Floyd}}, which sparked {{w|George Floyd protests|large protests in the US}} and received large amount of national and global media coverage. This header stayed for over 18 months, making this possibly the longest-staying header in xkcd history.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200602213017/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2314: Carcinization]])}}
|''(no header text)''
|This was the first time that xkcd had gone without a header, especially for an extended period of time. After the previous header was removed, no header was inserted in its place, not even the standard go-to header. It stayed empty for almost two months, until the BLM header was inserted.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-04]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2288: Collector's Edition]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}}
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This header text was only up for one day, and gives credit to those who put together the 2020 [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which had taken two extra days to release due to 'technical reasons' (see the previous header). While this header was only up for one comic, and continues as a comic-specific header, this was a global header while the April Fools' comic was on the front page.

Oddly, when this header was removed after [[2289: Scenario 4]], no header came to replace it, leading to a 2-month period where there was no global header text at all.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200402234828/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200403012612/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|{{Header text|Note: For technical reasons Wednesday's comic will be posted Thursday instead.}} 
{{Header text|Apologies for the delay!}}
|This header come directly before 2020's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]]. It apologized for the delay of the comic, stating that technical difficulties along with the overall complexity of the comic pushed its release date back one day, meaning the comic was posted on a Thursday instead of the usual Wednesday.

This comic was the first in over a year to not promote How To?, and was the first to not promote a book since [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06].

This delayed upload schedule created circumstances which made it so [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]] stayed two extra days on the front page, meaning the third comic of the week, [[2289: Scenario 4]], was uploaded [[2289:_Scenario_4#Trivia|on a Saturday]].
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122214439/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2232: Hotel Room Party]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191201191025/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2235: Group Chat Rules]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20200116190038/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200401221435/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|[[File:How To Header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the global header for two distinct stints, being interrupted by the Christmas promotion of the book. It was also the last header to promote How To, which had continuously been promoted in the global header text for over a year at that point.

It gives a quick promotion of the book in an image, followed by multiple links which take you to different websites where you can purchase the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191202223745/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2236: Is it Christmas?]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200115155040/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 2.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], 
[https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the Christmas promotion of Randall's new book, How To. Despite the fact that it was solely meant to promote the book for the Christmas season, it remained up until January 16th.

This header was very similar to the previous header, with the only changes being made to the image.

Each link in the text takes you to each brand's respective page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191106204314/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122044456/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2231: the Time Before And After Land]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 3.png|400x400px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world/id1475319694 Apple], [https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems/369279 Audiobooks], [https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/How-To-Audiobook/1473680360?qid=1574679523&sr=1-1&pf_rd_p=c6e316b8-14da-418d-8f91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=DX3EZ14M14CFQPP9GHJY&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1 Audible], [https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Randall_Munroe_How_To?id=LzSGDwAAQBAJ Google Play], and [https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9780525635680 Libro.fm]}}}}}
|This header text was used to promote How To, which had come out a couple months beforehand. As always, clicking anywhere on the image takes you to the [https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/576760/how-to/ book's page on Penguin Random House], where you could find the audio sample.

Each of the links takes you to that brand's respective page for How To. This is also the latest header text to promote any sort of audio.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191002005854/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191105164001/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 4.png]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be at New York Comic Con! 
I'm giving [https://www.newyorkcomiccon.com/Explore/Panels/Panels-And-Screenings/#/event/how-todo-anything-with-randall-munroe-creator-of-xkcd a talk on Thursday], and on Friday 
[https://smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weinersmith] and I will be hosting [https://www.caveat.nyc/event/how-to--absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems-10-4-2019 an event at Caveat NYC].}}}}}
|This Header simultaneously promotes the book How To, with each of the links in the first part of the text going to the brand's respective pages for the book, and the fact that Randall would be going to the {{w|New York Comic Con}}, a multi-day comic book fan convention.

It states that Randall would be giving a presentation that Thursday at the Comic Con, and would also be hosting an event at Caveat NYC, an event venue on the island of Manhattan.

Over the course of this header's existence, small changes were made, but nothing major enough to be granted its own row.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190930234245/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2209: Fresh Pears]])}} until 2019-10-02 ''(no archived version)'' {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 5.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This header features [[Cueball]], representing [[Randall]], commenting on how How To, the book this header was promoting, was 'tons of fun' to write, and that it can be preordered by clicking a blue link. As always, there are no HTML image maps used, meaning that clicking anywhere on the image will take you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.

Each link provided below the image takes you to each brand's page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190911053115/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190929223547/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2208: Drone Fishing]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 6.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible]}}}}}
|This Header text was used to promote the fact that How To, which had been released just a few days prior. After the header promoting the book's release date was removed, this Header took its place. The image consists of an image of the book's cover, with some decoration around it, and text beneath it. This text provides links which go to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The image also states that {{w|Serena Williams}} and {{w|Chris Hadfield}} featured in the book, which they do. Serena Williams' presence in the book is also mentioned in the [[:Category:Book promotion|promotion comic]] [[2190: Serena Versus the Drones|''Serena Versus the Drones''.]]

Serena Williams is a retired professional tennis player and former world #1 on the {{w|Women's Tennis Association}}'s rankings. u

Chris Hadfield is a retired Canadian astronaut, singer, engineer, and former Royal Canadian Air Force fighter pilot. He served on two space shuttle missions and has spent five months as the commander of the {{w|International Space Station}}.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190904051509/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[2198: Throw]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190909211737/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 7.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text celebrated the release date of How To.

The image consists of an image with two images of the book shown, with a drawing of [[Cueball]] riding two quadcopters up to change a lightbulb in a ceiling lamp, while two other characters are watching, one of whom is holding a ladder. Beneath the image are links to order to book from various sites, and clicking the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190903051503/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 8.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text was a joke which Randall performed on his viewers on How To's release date, which is tailored so that an average xkcd reader would get it. It jokes that there are two different versions of the book for two differing calendar systems. The Gregorian calendar (the calendar we use today) replaced the Julian calendar because the latter had an issue, which caused an increasing discrepancy between the actual date and the weather associated with it. The Gregorian calendar is much more accurate in terms of the solar year.

Because of this increasing discrepancy, the date shown on the Julian calendar is 13 days (now 15) behind the date shown on the Gregorian Calendar.

This header was only up for a day, and it was changed to a more normal celebration the next day.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190827082224/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-27] {{nowrap|(during [[2194: How to Send a File]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190902042108/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|My new book, How To, comes out next week!}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|Read an exclusive excerpt about transmission [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/26/how-to-send-a-file/ here].}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header simply promotes the new book How To, and the fact it was out in a week. Unlike the multiple headers promoting How To both before and after this one, it consists solely of a few lines of text. It provides links to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The second line also contains a link to one of his blog posts, which contains an excerpt from one of the chapters.

A later version of the header included these links, as well as a link to the book tour. The page now contained the winner of the book tour contest, {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}. Despite the fact that this wasn't a countdown, it stayed up until the book's release date on September 3rd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190826062701/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2193: Well-Ordering Principle]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 9.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder ''How To'': [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This image promotes a contest which allows a US reader to win a sketch of themselves in his new book, How To, which would come out that September. It also contains a number of links which go to the respective brand's dedicated page for the book.

Clicking on the image takes you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/05/win-an-xkcd-sketch/ blag post] about the event, titled ''Win an xkcd sketch''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190803222711/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 10.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This Header, like many of those which came both before and after it, promotes the new book How To, which was coming out in just under a month at the time. This image promotes said fact, with an image of the book's cover to the left of the text.

Below the image, there are four links, each taking you to the respective brand's page for the book, allowing you to preorder it.

Clicking on the image took you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/02/how-to-chapter-list-and-introduction/ blag post] titled ''How To Chapter List and Introduction'', which contained How To's table of contents and introduction.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190710165920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190714175710/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2175: Flag Interpretation]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190723205152/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190802192259/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text, like many which had come before and after it, promotes How To, a book which, at the time, would have been releasing in about 2 months. It had two distinctive stints as the header text, being interrupted by the promotion of his ComiCon appearance for about a week.

This header was the first header to include preorder links below the image, each taking you to a specific brand's page to preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190715181016/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2176: How Hacking Works]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190722192637/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Going to San Diego Comic Con this week? I'll [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/07/15/san-diego-comic-con/ see you there]!}}}}}
|This header text was a brief break from the [[How To]] promotion, instead promoting a talk which he would give at that year's San Diego Comic Con. During the Con, he gave a talk and appeared in some panels, before finally handing out signed copies of [[How To]] almost a month before its official release.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190709162102/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]
|This header was used solely to promote [[How To]], which would be coming out in 3 months at the time. It shows images of the book's cover, with miscellaneous drawings from How To scattered throughout the middle of the image, with text promoting the book. This header only stayed up for a day in this style, before adding a line of links showing where to preorder the book below the image.

Clicking on the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190625190843/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-25] {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190708155517/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-08] {{nowrap|(during [[2172: Lunar Cycles]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 12.png|500x500px]]
|This simplistic header promoted a contest which allowed for the readers of xkcd to choose a town which the How To book tour would visit. Clicking on the image takes you to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ a blag post] outlining the contest details. Using only book titles, you were instructed to create a story, with the longest sentence improving your chances of winning. The image visualized what submissions may look like, with 15 people standing side by side, each holding a book. The eventual winner of this contest was {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}.

From left to right, the characters visualized in the image are [[Megan]], [[Cueball]], a man with blonde hair, [[Jill]], [[Blondie]], two [[Hairy]]s, [[White Hat]], a kid with curly hair, [[Hairbun]], Cueball, Megan, [[Knit Cap]], [[Ponytail]], and [[Beret Guy]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190615100645/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2163: Chernobyl]]}} until 2019-06-25 {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 13.png|500x500px]]
|This header, similar to the previous one, promoted the How To book tour, which Randall would shortly be going on. The image is almost exactly the same as the previous one, with the only change being a link reading '[Click here for dates and tickets]'. While the reason for the change is not known, our best guess is that readers didn't realize that the image was a link, so Randall added this line for clarity.

The entire image, not just the blue text, is a link to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] officially announcing the book tour, with all the cities and dates which Randall would visit listed out.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190611031920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2161: An Apple a Day]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190614094729/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2162: Literary Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 14.png|500x500px]]
|This header was the first to promote the [[How To]] book tour. It showed a map of the United States with dots representing the location of each city he would be visiting, with one dot outside the map indicating the city which would be chosen by readers. The list of cities is as follows:

*September 3rd
*[[How to]]
*{{w|Seattle}}
*{{w|Portland, Oregon|Portland}}
*{{w|San Francisco}}
*{{w|Santa Cruz, California|Santa Cruz}}
*{{w|Los Angeles}}
*{{w|Salt Lake City}}
*{{w|Kansas City metropolitan area|Kansas City}}
*{{w|Ann Arbor, Michigan|Ann Arbor}}
*{{w|Cincinnati}}
*{{w|Louisville, Kentucky|Louisville}}
*{{w|Cambridge, Massachusetts|Cambridge}}
*{{w|New York City|New York}}
*{{w|Washington, D.C.|D.C.}}
*{{w|Raleigh, North Carolina|Raleigh}}
*????? (Chosen by readers)

The entire image links to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] announcing the book tour and detailing the contest used to determine the reader-chosen city.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190422030324/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2139: Email Settings]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190517103928/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190610055519/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-06-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2160: Ken Burns Theory]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 15.png|300x300px]]{{nowrap|{{Header text|{{{1|<big><big>HOW TO</big></big>

ABSURD SCIENTIFIC ANSWERS TO COMMON REAL-WORLD PROBLEMS

Available September 3, 2019.

Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}}}
|This complex header was the first to promote [[How To]]. It officially announced the book and provided links where a reader could preorder the book. It served two distinct stints, each lasting over a month, being interrupted by the promotion of the e-newsletter subscription promotion.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190423155458/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2140: Reinvent the Wheel]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190516100403/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Still mourning the demise of Google Reader? 
You can sign up to get new comics delivered by email [https://xkcd.com/newsletter/ here].}}}}}
|This header interrupted the first header to promote How To in favor of promoting a subscription service which viewers could utilize as a way to be notified when a new comic was released. It mentions {{w|Google Reader}}, a popular RSS and Atom feed aggregator which had shut down on July 1st, 2013. He advertises the newsletter almost 6 years after the shutdown, using email.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190205050302/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|After a long period of sharing space with other headers during the ongoing 2018 Midterm Elections. After election day, the standard text came back, being the sole header for almost three months before Randall's announcement of [[How To]]. After the standard header text left, it wouldn't reappear for almost three years, the longest gap between standard texts at the time.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181106122850/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2068: Election Night]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]])}}
|[[File:Election Day Header but Better.png|500x500px]]
|This header text reminded xkcd readers to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. As these were highly contested, every vote counted. It gave a reminder about the fact that if the polls close while you're in line, the government must let you vote. It also provides links which give additional information about voting, where your local polling place is, and to see what was on the ballot.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181105105855/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Find out where to vote: [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].

See what's on your ballot: [https://www.ballotready.org/ BallotReady.org]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to the previous one, only adding a line below the first, taking you to a website which shows what would be on the reader's ballot before that year's election day on November 6th. It is part of a series of header texts related to the US 2018 Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181022120935/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2061: Tectonics Game]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Check your registration and find your polling place at [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].}}}}}
|This header text reminded readers to register to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. It links to vote.org, a website which allows the user to check their registrations and contains a map of polling places near your location.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard text. It returned for just a couple months, between a reminder for readers in New York to vote and for all readers to register for the main election day during the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20180913133544/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2045: Social Media Announcement]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20180914175605/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2046: Trum-]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|NY votes today! Find your polling place [https://voterlookup.elections.ny.gov/ here]. (Zephyr Teachout for AG!)}}}}}
|This short-lived header text reminded readers who lived in New York to vote on that day, as it was the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. The text links to a New York government website which allows the viewer to see which polling place was the closest to them.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard header text, this time returning for 10 months, from during December 2017 to September 2018. It stayed during the long break between Christmas and the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20171126130857/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1920: Emoji Sports]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171130150053/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1922: Interferometry]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|To anyone looking for Christmas gifts: Until Monday you can get $5 off 
[https://www.amazon.com/What-International-Scientific-Hypothetical-Questions/dp/0544456866 What If?] and [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Thing Explainer] on Amazon with coupon code GIFTBOOK17.

At Barnes & Noble, until Sunday you can get 20% off 
[https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 What If?] and [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432 Thing Explainer] using code GIVETHANKS.}}}}}
|This header text, like many others, only lasted a few days in between long stretches of standard headers. It promoted Christmas sales of [[What If?]] and [[Thing Explainer]], as well as providing a code to use on the Barnes & Noble page for the books.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170922232616/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-09-22]] {{nowrap|(during [[1893: Thread]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171010045802/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1900: Jet Lag]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be visiting the UK next week! 
You can join me in London from September 30-October 2 
(at [https://live.newscientist.com/speakers/randall-munroe New Scientist Live], [https://www.rigb.org/whats-on/events-2017/october/public-lunchtime-talk--randall-munroe The Royal Institution], 
and [https://www.intelligencesquared.com/events/randall-munroe-on-making-complicated-stuff-simple/ Intelligence Squared]), then from October 3-6 in [https://www.stpetersyork.org.uk/public_lectures/randall_munroe_thing_explainer York], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/thing-explaining-with-randall-munroe-tickets-37832289396 Edinburgh], [https://www.toppingbooks.co.uk/events/ely/randall-murray-thing-explainer/ Cambridge and Ely], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/randall-munroe-book-signing-thing-explainer-tickets-38041072873 Oxford], and [https://www.cheltenhamfestivals.com/literature/whats-on/2017/randall-munroe/ Cheltenham].}}}}}
|This header text was a promotion for public appearances around the UK between late September and early October. Each link goes to a site where you could purchase tickets to attend his appearances. Despite the fact that all of his appearances had already ended, the promotion continued until October 9th, when the header text returned back to standard.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170731021227/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-31] {{nowrap|(during [[1869: Positive and Negative Reviews]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170804152509/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-08-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1872: Backup Batteries]])}}
|[[File:Healthcare Thanks.png]]
|This header thanked readers for their efforts to stop 'The Skinny Repeal', a bill which would have repealed the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare, in the Senate. In an unexpected twist, Republican senators John McCain, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski all voted against the bill, as well as all democrats, leading the 100-member senate to veto the bill 51-49. John McCain voted 'no' just days after a brain cancer diagnosis, leading two other Republicans to do the same, vetoing the bill.

This act had an especially large effect on Randall, as this was during his wife's Breast Cancer treatment. Had the act been passed, it is possible that they would have lost their Healthcare coverage, saddling them with very large amounts of debt which they may not have been able to pay off.

The entire image is a link, which takes you to a New York Times article showing the final results of the vote, as well as how members of each party voted.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170730141019/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]])}}
|[[File:Call the Senate.png]]
|This header came just days before a Senate vote on the 'skinny repeal' act, which would have repealed major parts of the Affordable Care Act, which would have left millions of people without healthcare coverage. He asks his readers to contact their senators and ask them to vote 'no' on the bill. He provides a phone number to call, as well as recommending readers to contact their friends in multiple Republican states, whose senators were likely to vote 'yes' on the bill, and ask them to call as well.

Randall may have been motivated to do this because, at the time, his wife was going through cancer treatment. Had this bill been passed, it is possible their healthcare coverage would have been lost, leading them to attain large amounts of debt, and possibly forcing Randall to cease making comics.

This header was up until the Senate ultimately vetoed the bill 51-49, leading Randall to change the header to a 'thank you'.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170122003124/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This long-lasting header text promoted shirts and posters which could be found at the xkcd store at the time. It maintained the sales pitch of the previous header, only removing the image promoting the shirts.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128153015/https://xkcd.com 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1765: Baby Post]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170121114423/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]])}}
|[[File:New shirts header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],

along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This header promoted a Christmas sale on merchandise which was available in the xkcd store at the time. Despite the Christmas sale ending, the header remained until January 21st. The entire image was a link to the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423103108/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128093459/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1764: XKCDE]])}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header returned for a long stint between late April and late November of 2016.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404185353/https://www.xkcd.com/#5dbfbb82-fc20-11e5-8001-42010a8e000d 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1663: Garden]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423182630/https://xkcd.com:80/1663/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|'''Protip''': If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}}}}
|This header text stayed throughout most of April. It gave tips for the [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which came out with the release of this header. The header text stayed until April 23rd, at which point it became a [[xkcd_Header_text#Garden|Comic-Specific Header]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401204749/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404054612/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|''First Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.

Please stand by!}}

''Second Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.}}

{{Header text|Status update: Please stand by.}}
{{Header text|Status update: This is fine. Everything is fine.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Everything is on fire.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Searching for calendar systems in which Saturday is April 1st.}}

''Third Version'':
{{Header text|The Friday xkcd comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties}}

{{Header text|[Editor's note: Everything is on fire] and has been delayed until Sunday night.}}
|Randall is making the best of a bad situation. Just before the release of that year's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], it experienced technical difficulties forcing Randall to delay its release. The three headers changed in rapid succession while [[1662: Jack and Jill]] was still on the front page. Randall provides status updates on the comic, which quickly devolves into chaos before returning to a sense of false normalcy. This finalized header remained until the release of [[Garden]] on April 5th.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151213194534/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401125621/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Thing Explainer is available at:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header was the final header to promote Thing Explainer, which had been continuously promoted for over 10 months at that point. It provided links to places where the book could be purchased, just in time for the Christmas season.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151212133400/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1| Thing Explainer is available at: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be in [https://web.archive.org/web/20151211002159/https://www.andersonsbookshop.com/event/naperville-reads-randall-munroe Naperville, IL] and [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205205714/https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/indigo-exclusive-randall-munroe-tickets-18694384407 Toronto, ON] (with [https://qwantz.com/ Ryan North]!) next week.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. It gave links to order [[Thing Explainer]] (which makes sense. It was December, after all.), and also promoted public appearances he would be doing with Ryan North in Naperville, Illinois and Toronto, Ontario. This header continued the trend of promoting [[Thing Explainer]], which had been continually promoted since April.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151203234149/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}}
|[[File:TE images header.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text contained a large image showcasing images from [[Thing Explainer]], as well as multiple links for where to get the book. This image holds the odd record of being the largest image to ever be put into the header text (it is resized here for space). The image gets even weirder by being a link to [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0544668251/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0544668251&linkCode=as2&tag=thekcs-20&linkId=S4XRZJJKSMHOWEQU Thing Explainer on Amazon], even though a link to buy the book on amazon was also provided beneath the image. The image was only provided for two days, before being replaced by a promotion for his public appearances with Ryan North.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124201602/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1607: Supreme Court]]}} until 2015-12-02 {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}}
|''First Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

''Second Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|I'm doing a [https://www.facebook.com/AndyWeirAuthor/ live Q&A;] at 2:30pm PT with The Martian author Andy Weir.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. For most of the time it was on the front page, it solely promoted [[Thing Explainer]], and provided links where you could purchase it. However, it was shortly changed to advertise his public appearances with Andy Weir, with the link in that text taking you to his Facebook page. The image remained between the two texts, and it was a link to an [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ old Blag post] announcing Thing Explainer. However, the promotion of the public appearance only lasted one day, and as such is not important enough overall to be split into it's own section.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151022200022/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124065108/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1608: Hoverboard]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|We've [https://slate.com/technology/2015/08/no-new-polio-in-africa-for-one-year-gates-epidemiologist-on-vaccines-and-surveillance.html almost eradicated polio]. For World Polio Day, I drew a comic}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|about the eradication efforts. You can see it on [https://www.gatesnotes.com/Health/XKCD-Marks-the-Spot Bill Gates's blog].}}}}}
_________________________________________________________________
{{Header text|{{{1|My [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ new book] of complex diagrams and simple words comes out Nov 24th.}}}}}
|This header text promoted two things simultaneously, separated by a line. The top half of the header promoted a comic which Randall drew for Bill Gates' blog, celebrating the fact that {{w|Polio}} had almost been eradicated. The other header promoted [[Thing Explainer]], a book which had just released that year. The top half of the header linked to the blog post that Randall's Polio comic had appeared in, while the bottom half linked to a [[Blag]] post announcing Thing Explainer.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150923044724/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1580: Travel Ghost]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151021164208/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|News: Announcing my Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/im-going-on-a-book-trip/ book trip]. Come say hi!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|Other news: Announcing the Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/a-thing-explainer-word-checker/ word checker] tool!}}}}}
|This simplistic header promoted two things related to [[Thing Explainer]], which had released earlier that year. It promoted the Thing Explainer book tour and a tool which can help you "Write Like Up Goer Five and Thing Explainer", also known as [https://xkcd.com/simplewriter/ Simple Writer].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150906181550/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1573: Cyberintelligence]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150919220105/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1579: Tech Loops]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thing-Explainer-Randall-Munroe/dp/1473620910 Amazon.co.uk], [https://www.waterstones.com/book/thing-explainer/9781473620919 Waterstones]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to previous headers promoting [[Thing Explainer]]. The only change which occurred between the last header and this header was the addition of a line of text containing links, where you could preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150606084120/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-06-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150807181044/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1561: Water Phase Diagram]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|In other news, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing] is delightful, 
and I feel surprisingly invested in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket's] results.}}}}}
|This header text contained two sections, each talking about separate things. The upper portion of the header maintained the same promotion of [[Thing Explainer]] from the previous header, but added a couple new lines of text outlining 'other news' in his life. The first link goes to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing], a music video parody of {{w|David Bowie|David Bowie's}} [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo Space Oddity] music video using only the 1,000 most common words, inspired by [[1133: Up Goer Five]]. Along with this, there was another link which went to [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket] on Twitter. This was a large bracket inspired by [[1529: Bracket]], in which a Twitter user simulated a full bracket with each entry from the comic. After this, it returned to simply promoting the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150515060322/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150605082643/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-06-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text, like the one that came before it, promoted the fact that preorders were open for [[Thing Explainer]], which had been announced with the previous header. The image linked to a [[Blag]] post titled ''[https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ New book: Thing Explainer]''. This header remained for just under a month before other news was added.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150514053623/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1524: Dimensions]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New book: [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ Thing Explainer!]}}}}}
|This header text announced [[Thing Explainer]], a book which uses only the 1,000 most common English words at the time to explain complicated things such as the {{w|Curiosity (rover)|Curiosity Rover}} and {{w|Washing machine|Washing machines}}. When the next comic released, the header text turned to promoting the book, including providing links where you could preorder it.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150211154103/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1485: Friendship]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150512184622/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1523: Microdrones]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header text returned for about three months, between his promotion of xkcd-themed {{w|Valentine's Day}} cards and the announcement of [[Thing Explainer]]
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150204051152/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1482: NowPlaying]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150210005540/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1484: Apollo Speeches]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]
|This header was the last of the headers to promote {{w|Valentine's Day}} that year. It promoted the Valentine's Day cards which Randall had collaborated with other webcomic artists to create, and were first announced the month before. The promotion lasted until February 10th, at which point it was nearly impossible to ship cards out to customers by Valentine's Day.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150203022036/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today is the last day to order the limited-run [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart binary heart shirt]!}}}}}
|This header solely promoted the binary heart shirt, which was in the xkcd store at the time, just before that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. The header remained up until the day after the shirts were no longer available to order.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150129183442/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150201015913/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1480: Super Bowl]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]{{nowrap|[[File:Binary shirt.png]]}}
|This header promoted both special store products that Randall had created for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. He had partnered with other artists to create custom Valentine Cards, and had created a shirt which contained a heart made out of binary. This header lasted for only a few days until the header changed to promoting the last day you could order the shirts. The image promoting the shirt was a link to a https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart page] where you could purchase it.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150128172147/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}}
|{{Header text|I've teamed up with three other webcomic artists}}
{{Header text|{{{1|to make [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://store.xkcd.com/products/webcomic-science-valentines a set of science-themed Valentine's Day cards]!}}}}}
|This short-lived header announced the fact that [[Randall]] had collaborated with 'other webcomic artists' to create Valentine's cards which could be purchased in the shop at the time. The link in the text took you to the card's page on the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150124110707/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1477: Star Wars]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150126133139/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}}
|{{Header text|For Valentine's Day, you can get a binary heart shirt}}
{{Header text|{{{1|(from {{xkcd|99|comic #99!}}) in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart a limited run on TeeSpring]}}}}}
|This header text was the first of many headers to promote the binary heart shirt which Randall released for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. Instead of being on the xkcd store like one may assume, he actually used {{w|Teespring}}, a company that allows users to create and sell custom products, as the sales platform.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141222233233/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1463: Altitude]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150123102318/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1476: Ceres]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get xkcd shirts, prints, and posters in the [https://shop.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header, like many others at the time, promoted the xkcd store, which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise. The link in the text was a link to the store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141217085320/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until 2014-12-18 {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20141219092349/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141221172450/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header.png]]
|This header served two distinct stints as a header, in between an Easter egg header that Randall had released in between them.

This header consisted of just one image, promoting the xkcd store while also reminding readers that that Friday was the last day things could be shipped by the 25th. The entire image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], not just the blue text in the image.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141218090650/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header 2.png]]
|This header was a more humorous version of the header which it both preceded and succeeded, possibly meant as an {{w|Easter egg (media)|Easter Egg}} for those who happened to visit the site at the time when it was up. It lasted only for a few hours, meaning that not many actually got to see it while it was up. It reminded the reader that, if they wished to get Christmas presents from the xkcd store, they needed to order them by that Friday in order for them to be shipped in time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141203132024/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1455: Trolley Problem]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1460: SMFW]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Store Header.png]]
|This header promoted the store during the Christmas season, with a touch of humor added in. The bobcat is a reference to [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]. The image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141129211604/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141202065133/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1454: Done]]}}
|{{Header text|Thank you for helping my friend Emily.}}
{{Header text|It means so much.}}
|Just two days after Randall posted a header text to raise money for Emily's cancer treatment, the goal was met and this header replaced the previous one for three days. This means that the thanks for meeting the goal was up for more time than the header notifying readers of the goal itself.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141127005239/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1452: Jurassic World]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128070838/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]}}
|{{Header text|Hey all. My friend Emily—the economist who helped}}
{{Header text|me with my {{xkcd|980|money chart}}—has been fighting cancer. She's}}
{{Header text|{{{1|having a rough time and could use some [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128183414/https://www.gofundme.com/e07dqk help]. Thank you.}}}}}
|This header text was meant to raise money in order to help [[Randall]]'s friend Emily fight cancer. The text linked to a GoFundMe page for Emily. Oddly, Emily did not get a permanent header as Becky did on the [[#Seven_Years|Seven Years]] comic.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141002211139/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1428: Move Fast and Break Things]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141125234520/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Bestseller.png]]
|This header consisted of an image promoting the fact that What If? Had become a New York Times bestseller, while also promoting the book at the same time. The header remained up for over a month, only being interrupted by Emily's cancer diagnosis. The image was a link to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140904150600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141001130827/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out now.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that What If?, which had released the day before this header came out, was available to order. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140902125802/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140903134518/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out Today.png]]
|This header kept the trend of simple images promoting What If?, with this one promoting the fact that the book was released that day. As this promoted only the release day, it was replaced by a more general promotion the day after. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140723180600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1398: Snake Facts]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140901113916/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]}}
|[[File:What If? Book Tour.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that Randall was going on a book tour for What If?, which was released that September. The image, like many others promoting the book, was a simple depiction of a celebrating Cueball with text to its right. The text in the image promoted the book, and asked the viewer to click on an apparent link in order to see a list of stops for the tour. However, by Randall's own admission, the entire image (not just the apparent link) was a link, as he had not figured out HTML imagemaps. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/07/22/what-if-book-tour/ a Blag post] announcing the book tour and outlining a list of stops.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140313070951/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1341: Types of Editors]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140722142115/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1397: Luke]]}}
|[[File:What If? Announcement.png]]
|This header text was the first of many to promote What If?. This first one announced the fact that Randall was publishing a book cataloging entries from his What If? blog, which had been running continuously for multiple years at that point. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/03/12/what-if-i-wrote-a-book/ a Blag post] announcing the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140109190927/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140312070248/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1340: Unique Date]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131221043417/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1306: Sigil Cycle]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140108181520/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The deadline for guaranteed Christmas shipping has passed, 
but if you order something from the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], we'll get it to you as fast as possible!}}}}}
|This header text came out just four days before Christmas, when Randall would be unable to ship items ordered from the xkcd store by Christmas. He also reminds readers that they'd ship ASAP, but they wouldn't arrive by the 25th.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131220005306/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1305: Undocumented Feature]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|For a couple weeks during early December of 2013, no header came to replace the previous Exoplanet Poster header. It is possible that there was an error with the intended header text, or that Randall simply forgot to put in a new one. This stopped when the xkcd store Christmas shipping deadline passed, and the header changed to let readers know of this fact.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1298: Exoplanet Neighborhood]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Exoplanet Neighborhood comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://store.xkcd.com/products/exoplanet-neighborhood-poster poster]!}}}}}
|Just after [[Exoplanet Neighborhoods]] came out, Randall updated the header to mention that you could get the comic as a poster in the store. This header lasted only four days, until the header turned empty.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130409170502/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131201184250/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1297: Oort Cloud]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Subways comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20130411022318/http://store-xkcd-com.myshopify.com/products/subways poster]!}}}}}
|This header, which lasted for almost exactly 100 Comics, promoted the fact that you could get [[1196: Subways]] as a poster in the xkcd store. The promotion lasted until early December, when it was replaced with a different store promotion for another comic, oddly promoting a comic poster as well.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126235628/https://xkcd.com/1138/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130311073948/https://xkcd.com:80/1183/ 2013-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1183: Rose Petals]]}}, from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130320082716/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1188: Bonding]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130401112845/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]]}}, and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403180307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1194: Stratigraphic Record]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130408184914/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}}
|[[File:xkcd Store Paper Rip.png]]
|This header holds a record for the most distinct times it appeared as the header text, appearing three separate times. The content of the header was an image showing a torn piece of paper, with the tear revealing the words 'xkcd store' below it. Clicking on the image while it was up took you to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which featured various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20130402122924/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]])}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|There were some surprise upsets in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20130402131103/http://almamater.xkcd.com/ Hash Breaking]!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|KIT [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403114751/http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv leads] (389 bits wrong), followed by Columbia (391 bits wrong).}}}}}
|This header documented the challenge given to multiple prestigious colleges in [[1193: Externalities]]. Randall had created a challenge in which multiple Alma Maters were tasked to break a 1024-bit {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} in the shortest time possible, with the college that had the least bits wrong at the end of the challenge winning. This header gave an update, stating that KIT (an Indian engineering college) in first place, with Colombia in second. He provided a link to the xkcd page where the results were being documented in real time. In the end, Carnegie Mellon University won, with 384 bits wrong of 1024.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130315162227/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1186: Bumblebees]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130318072820/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1187: Aspect Ratio]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|After the previous header letting people know that [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]] was delayed, no header came to replace it for 3 days. This is one of only three times this has happened in xkcd's history
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313133631/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1184: Circumference Formula]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313175306/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The comic will be delayed until late morning EDT.}}}}}
|This simple header, which was up for less than a day, let readers know that the next comic ([[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]) was temporarily delayed. The delayed comic was quickly released and the header was replaced, oddly, with nothing.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121024082017/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126035129/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121017232102/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1122: Electoral Precedent]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121023023404/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/ What if lightning struck while you were ...]}}}}}
|This header was the last header to promote the release of a specific entry to the What If? blog. This entry acted like a short-answer section, but only for lightning-related questions. This promotion lasted for only a few days before it was replaced with the standard header. The link in the article took you to the blog entry.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121010003837/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121016055538/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1121: Identity]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/15/ What if you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?].
|This header promoted a new release of the What If? Blog, this being Mariana Trench Explosion. The question in this entry was "What If you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?". The promotion lasted about a week before the next entry in the blog came out.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121002231724/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121008112434/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}}
|{{Header text|In this week's What-If article I [https://what-if.xkcd.com/14/ answer multiple reader questions].}}}}}
|This header text promotes the first short-answer entry of the What If? blog. It was up for a week, while it was the most recent blog entry. After that, it was replaced by a promotion for the next blog entry
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120926163111/https://xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1113: Killed in Action]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121001080517/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/ If everyone aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at once, would it change color?]}}}}}
|This header text, like many others around this time, promoted the latest entry to the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120918143653/https://www.xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120925090123/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1112: Think Logically]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|what-if.xkcd.com: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/ What if all of a storm's water fell in a single raindrop?].}}}}}
|This header promoted the latest entry into the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|12|Raindrop}}. It stayed up until the next blog entry was released.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1106: ADD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120917052827/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://what-if.xkcd.com/11/ Droppings]}}}}}
|This time, the header text promoted the new What If? blog entry, this time titled {{what if|11|Droppings}}. This header lasted until the next entry, {{what if|12|Raindrop}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120910011937/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1105: License Plate]]}}
|{{Header text|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://what-if.xkcd.com/10/ What if we slid the Earth's surface around by 90 degrees?]}}}}}
|This header was part of a long series of headers at the time, coming out each week with each new What If? blog entry. This one promoted {{what if|10|Cassini}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1101: Sketchiness]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120903051700/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/ What if everyone had a randomly-chosen soul mate?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers promoting new entries to the What If? blog every week. For this week, it promoted {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1098: Star Ratings]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120828050938/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1100: Vows]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ What if everyone got together and jumped]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ at the same time, but then realized nobody brought food?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1096: Clinically Studied Ingredient]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120821113022/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1097: A Hypochondriac's Nightmare]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|This week: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://what-if.xkcd.com/7/ Is there enough energy to move all of humanity off-planet]?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|7|Everybody Out}}. This header, however, is unique from the others promoting the blog, as this is the last header to promote the website directly.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120809045754/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1092: Michael Phelps]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120814083615/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1094: Interview]]}}
|[[File:What If? Glass header.png]]
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, for most of the week {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}} was out, Randall used an image to promote the new entry rather than the traditional text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use this format.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1091: Curiosity]]}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://what-if.xkcd.com/6/ This week]: What if a glass were actually half-empty?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, this header is unique, as it only appeared for a single day before Randall replaced it with an image promoting the same article. This header text promoted {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1089: Internal Monologue]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120805074212/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1090: Formal Languages]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/5/ This week]: How long would humans last in a robot apocalypse?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120730122025/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1088: Five Years]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/4/ This week]: What if you had a mole (unit) of moles (animals)?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}, the fourth What If? blog entry.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120718231719/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1083: Writing Styles]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120723224537/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1085: ContextBot]]}}
|[[File:Yoda What If header.png]]
|This header was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. During the week where {{what if|3|Yoda}} was the most recent post, Randall decided to promote the new entry via an image rather than the typical text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use an image rather than text.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120710114846/https://xkcd.com/1078/ 2012-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120714062857/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1081: Argument Victory]]}}
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New site: what-if.xkcd.com, where I abuse science to answer hypothetical questions. 
I'll answer a new question every Tuesday.}}}}} 
''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/ what-if.xkcd.com]: abusing science to answer hypothetical questions.}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll answer a new reader question every Tuesday.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each promoting the new What If? blog at [https://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]. 
The first version was only up for a day, and, oddly, appeared on each comic except for the front page. The website given in the text wasn't a link, which is presumably why Randall quickly changed the header into the second version. 
The second version of the text was the main version, and was up for a few days. This header does not have many changes from the previous header, only adding the link where the website was and separating the text into two lines. The website now linked to the first ever What If? blog entry, {{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}. For a time, this text also did not appear on the front page as it came out during [[1079: United Shapes]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#United_Shapes|unique header text]]. Later, this text was incorporated into this comic's text, but it was never changed back. This means, if you {{xkcd|1079|go to the comic today}}, it still contains the second version of this header.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120409190952/https://xkcd.com/1026/ 2012-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1040: Lakes and Oceans]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709004956/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
{{Header text|{{{1|You can get prints, posters, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store].}}}}}
|This simple header text combined the standard header text and the standard store promotion in one header. The link in the bottom row went to to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120405195956/https://www.xkcd.com/1021/ 2012-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1038: Fountain]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120408200414/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1039: RuBisCO]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|A return to the standard header text, if only for a few days before the store promotion was added.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120328103319/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1035: Cadbury Eggs]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120403164523/https://xkcd.com:80/1036/ 2012-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1036: Reviews]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'm [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ visiting] Newport News, VA next week, where I'll be speaking at CNU, my old school. 
If you want to come, reserve a seat [https://web.archive.org/web/20120329214411/https://www.cnu.edu/pcs/xkcd/index.asp here]!}}}}}
|This promotion linked to a trip Randall was doing to {{w|Newport News, Virginia}}, where he would be giving a talk at his old school, {{w|Christopher Newport University}}. The first link in the text went to a [[Blag]] [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ post] announcing his trip, while the second link took you to a website where you could purchase tickets (the link here goes to an archived version, as the link is no longer working).
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120312185125/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1028: Communication]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120326180811/https://xkcd.com// 2012-03-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1033: Formal Logic]]}}
|{{Header text|{{[1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120318153220/https://holistic.xkcd.com/ holistic.xkcd.com], the least useful web navigation tool ever.}}}}}
|This header text promoted a web navigation tool which Randall had developed, called the xkcd Holistic Browser. As the name implies, when you typed a web address, you would instead be taken to a web address someone else had entered. For a time, this header text overlapped with [[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#Unique_header_text|unique header text]].
|Other promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20120228183748/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120311135259/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1027: Pickup Artist]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Blag: Remember geohashing? [http://blog.xkcd.com/2012/02/27/geohashing-2/ Something pretty cool] happened Sunday.}}}}}
|This header text references geohashing, an activity which originated from [[426: Geohashing|another comic]] which Randall had published a few years earlier. Geohashing is an activity where an algorithm picks a pseudo-random point within a certain graticule each day. The people who partake in this activity (known as 'geohashers' or 'hashers') can then go to this spot, take a picture, and upload it to the [geohashing.site Geohashing wiki].

The blog post in the header text outlines a story relating to the globalhash, an extra challenge for geohashers in which just one point is chosen around the world. One day, the globalhash was within a mile of the south pole, and a geohasher reached out to personnel at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}}. Personnel at the station completed the challenge and uploaded a photo to the wiki, completing the achievement.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111219230017/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[992: Mnemonics]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|The standard header text returns once again, this time taking the place of the previous after the store was unable to ship things out in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[982: Set Theory]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[991: Phantom Menace]]}}
|[[File:2011 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{{1|shipping for Christmas}}}}}
|This header text utilized a small banner to notify readers that the xkcd store, at that point, could ship items out in time for christmas. Nothing more to say about this one.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[930: Days of the Week]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[981: Porn Folder]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110702224031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-02] {{nowrap|(during [[919: Tween Bromance]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110718225031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[926: Time Vulture]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blog post:}}}}}{{nowrap|{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Family Illness]}}}}}}}
|This header text promoted a blag post which is much more somber than most. It tells readers the context behind recent cancer-related comics. At this time, Megan, his then-fianceé (and now wife), was diagnosed with Stage III {{w|Breast cancer|Breast Cancer}}, which is extremely rare at her age of diagnosis. Obviously, the treatment and support of his fianceé took up much of his life, and he wanted to let his readers know of the ongoing situation. Despite the late diagnosis, Megan has since made a full recovery.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110520004343/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-20] {{nowrap|(during [[900: Religions]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110629072556/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-06-29] {{nowrap|(during [[918: Google+]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. Not really sure what to say here.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110512173901/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[897: Elevator Inspection]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110517072118/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[899: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]}}}}}{{Header text|!}}
|This header text is a compilation of the standard header text and an advertisement for a new blag post, this one being 'Michael Bay's Scenario'. This blog post shows Randall's characteristic geekiness, detailing the basis for one of the panels in [[748: Wo, rst-Case Scenario|an earlier comic]], being the pattern for how dams are operated when the {{w|Mississippi River}} floods.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110418155618/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-18] {{nowrap|(during [[887: Future Timeline]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110508055056/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-08] {{nowrap|(during [[898: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110405105448/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[881: Probability]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Miss XK3D? It's still up at [xk3d.xkcd.com xk3d.xkcd.com]. 
(UNIXKCD, last year's April 1st redesign, is at [uni.xkcd.com uni.xkcd.com].)}}}}}
|This header text let readers know that there was still a way to access the April Fool's xkcd redesign for that year. In 2011, the redesign used a computer program to create a 3d effect on all comics up to [[880: Headache]]. It also reminded readers of the previous year's April Fools' redesign, that being [[Unixkcd]], which gave xkcd.com an interface similar to a terminal. The upper link no longer works, and has been replaced by [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com].
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110401181154/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[880: Headache]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD is now 3D! See [http://xkcd.com/xk3d/ here] for details! 
If 3D is too much for you, consider investing in a pair of [http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/looflirpa/e8be/ these]!}}}}}
|This header text was unique to the 2011 April Fools' xkcd.com redesign. For 2011, the regesign used a computer program to convert every xkcd comic up until [[880: Headache]] to a 3d view by separating the comics into different layers. The upper link is completely broken and no longer exists. To see the xk3d interface, go to [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com]. The lower link in the header text no longer works, instead taking you to a GameStop page dedicated to action figures and other collectibles.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110320063005/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110331041143/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-31] {{nowrap|(during [[879: Lamp]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blag post: a [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/03/19/radiation-chart/ chart] comparing levels of radiation exposure.}}}}}
|{{notice|summarize the blag post here}}
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110202074533/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[855: 1999]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110318203241/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: There's a new full-text comic search box a bit down the page.}}}}}
|This header text served as a set of two 'pro tips' which Randall is providing for the readers, the second header straight to do so. While the first is the same as the previous header, the second is different. It correctly states that there is a search box in a lower section of the page, which most people would not see as it is not viewable unless you scroll down, which most won't do as they are just viewing the comic.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110122183142/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-22] {{nowrap|(during [[850: World According to Americans]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110201050436/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[854: Learning to Cook]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: Scripts can [http://xkcd.com/json.html fetch comics and metadata automatically].}}}}}
|This header text provides 'pro tips', or pieces of advice ('tips') coming from somebody more experienced with a certain subject ('pros'). In this case, the person more experienced with xkcd is Randall, the creator of the site, so it's questionable as to whether these would actually be 'pro tips'. The upper tip lets readers know about m.xkcd.com, a version of the site designed for mobile devices. Currently, it's used for older web browsers, and less so for mobile devices as technology and Randall's coding has evolved. The other tip allows readers to use a computer script to automatically fetch comics and the metadata (the technical information about each comic, such as the author and its resolution) for said comics.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101221074545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110120082139/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-20] {{nowrap|(during [[849: Complex Conjugate]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101210182242/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-10] {{nowrap|(during [[832: Tic-Tac-Toe]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101220074448/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}})
|[[File:2010 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store is now shipping for Christmas.}}
|This header text was a reminder for readers that the xkcd store could ship items in time for christmas. At the time, he was selling signed prints of many different comics, so it was important for readers to have this knowledge.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101202013145/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitudes]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101207103208/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-07] {{nowrap|(during [[831: Genetic Analysis]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can order the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text combined the regular, standard header text with a promotion for an item in the xkcd store. It was very similar to the previous, with the only difference being that instead of only being able to preorder the item, the item could be directly ordered. The item in question was a poster depicting [[802: Online Communities 2]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101015082807/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[806: Tech Support]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101201003913/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitude]]}})
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There's a poster of the [https://xkcd.com/802/ updated communities map] for preorder in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}

''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can preorder the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each having the exact same meaning but differing levels of conciseness. It let readers know that they could preorder a poster which depicted [[802: Online Communities 2]], a large comic which depicted the size of various online communities as a fantasy map. This header text debuted in October until early December, when it released just in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100717133907/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-17] {{nowrap|(during [[767: Temper]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101012070848/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-12] {{nowrap|(during [[804: Pumpkin Carving]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are t-shirts, prints, posters, and other items in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}
|This was a very standard, copy-and-paste store promotion.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[760: Moria]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[765: One Two]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text. This header was the last time that there was a prolonged gap in the archives, necessitating the 'c.' in the date field.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[740: The Tell-Tale Beat]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[756: Public Opinion]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday 
There is a [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#FlyingFerretTankTop tank top] in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple one, letting readers know that the xkcd store now contained a {{w|Sleeveless shirt|tank top}} (a shirt which does not contain sleeves) depicting the flying ferret from [[20: Ferret]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100506032819/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-06] (during [[736: Cemetery]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header text|{{{1|The {{Header link|[http://blag.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ color survey results]}} are up!}}}}}
|This header text references the color survey, which was also mentioned the previous month in a different header. The color survey was an online survey in which users were presented with a completely random color and asked to give it a name, in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive color and language.
|Other promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100427162424/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-27] (during [[732: HDTV]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100408053329/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[724: Hell]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[725: Literally]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|If you liked the unixkcd interface, you can keep using it [xkcd.com/unixkcd here]! 
My [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ survey of color names] is almost done! Want to help?}}}}}
|This was a very simple header, alerting readers to the fact that, if they enjoyed [[Unixkcd]], that year's April Fools' Day redesign, it could still be accessed. While the website in the text no longer works, it can be accessed at uni.xkcd.com. It also mentions Randall's 'survey of color names', which is a survey that Randall conducted where responders were given a completely random color and asked to name it, hoping to provide some insight into how people perceive color.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100304093951/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-03-04] {{nowrap|(during [[709: I am]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[719: Brain Worms]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints new prints] and [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints posters][http://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
I'm doing a [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ Color name survey]. Want to help?}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. The top line was a very simple copy-paste advertisement for the Store, advertising signed prints of comics. Oddly, the links behind 'new prints' and 'posters' are exactly the same and would have taken you to the same place regardless of which one you clicked. The second line was an advertisement for the xkcd color name survey, where respondents were given a random color and asked to name it in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive colors and language.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100102003314/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-01-02] {{nowrap|(during [[683: Science Montage]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100215231756/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-02-15] {{nowrap|(during [[702: Snow Tracking]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}}}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091202010210/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[669: Experiment]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091225151809/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-25] {{nowrap|(during [[680: December 25th]]}})
|[[File:2009 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store - now shipping for Christmas delivery}}
|This simple header text served the purpose of alerting readers to the fact that the xkcd store could ship in time for Christmas, if anybody wanted to buy an xkcd-themed gift for somebody. However, the last time this text was archived was on Christmas Day, far after the store could have shipped anything in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20091027132448/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091115070508/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!
|This was the final header text to promote [[xkcd: volume 0]], a compilation of some of the best xkcd comics up to that point, along with footnotes and <s>a mysterious cipher</s> other additions. This header text served two distinct stints, as it was interrupted for just a few hours on October 27th by xkcd's GeoCities memorial.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20091027014324/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-10-27] (during [[654: Nachos]])
|GeoCities is shutting down today. To commemorate this, xkcd.com has been redesigned.">{{nowrap|[[File:Broken File Icon.png|25x25px]]}}
|For just a few hours on October 27th, 2009, xkcd was redesigned to be a chaotic mess in memory of {{w|GeoCities}}, replicating a stereotypical GeoCities site. GeoCities was a free web hosting service which, due to the very low barrier of entry, was known for children and teens hosting their own sites which looked similar to the redesign. This resulted in many pieces of broken code, which is replicated in the header text. Please note that the text had effects on it which cannot be replicated here, such as the image being in place of a superscript and the text containing a marquee effect.
|???
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20090918105905/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090923040934/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|’’’First Version:’’’ 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in New York and the Bay Area.}}}}}

’’’Second Version:''' 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in the Bay Area.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, which are compiled here because the second came right after the first and told you the exact same thing. The first version let you know that [[xkcd: volume 0]], the first-ever xkcd book, had been released and could be purchased in the store when it was online. It also told you about the small book tour that Randall would be doing, with stops in New York City and the San Francisco Bay area. This version was last archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090921130537/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-21]. The second version was exactly the same, except for the fact that Randall had apparently already gone to NYC, and was now presumably on his way to the Bay Area for that stop.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090903095219/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[631: Anatomy Text]]}})
|{{Header text|Ever wanted {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?tie#xkcdtie an xkcd tie]}}?}}
|This was a very simple store promotion, stating that you could now get an xkcd-themed necktie from the store. It depicted various characters doing actions they did in previous comics they were featured in. An image of the tie is included below.

[[File:xkcd tie.jpg|150x150px]]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090801182533/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2009-08-01 {{nowrap|(during [[617: Understocked]]}})
|{{Header text|I'll be at {{Header link|[http://connecticon.org/ Connecticon]}} this weekend. 
If you're in the area, come say hi!}}
|This simple header promoted the fact that Randall was planning on travelling to Connecticon. Connecticon is an annual fan convention which dabbles in "all things Pop-culture", and it regularly hosts celebrity guests and panels. It's named such because, since its founding, it has been based in Hartford, Connecticut. Randall was one of many webcomic-creating guests who were invited, but it seems he was attending as a guest and nothing more.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-17] {{nowrap|(during [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090730084817/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[616: Lease]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are signed prints in the {{Header link|[http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350if_/http://xkcd.com:80/store/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header, being a simple combination of the standard header text and a copy-pasted store promotion. The 'signed prints' that Randall is referring to are printed-out versions of comics which were hand-signed by Randall and could be purchased in the store before it shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090313220423/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090314231453/xkcd.com/ 2009-03-14] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20081218103735/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[518: Flow Charts]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20090311133423/https://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[554: Not Enough Work]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} now has {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}.}}
|This header text was a simple, copy-paste store promotion advertising signed print-outs of comics, which could be ordered in the store before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20081216003547/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[517: Marshmallow Gun]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} (now with {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}!) is running smoothly, 
so we’ve extended the US Christmas order deadline to Tuesday.}}
|This header text was to let people know that apparently, it was not too late to order things and get them shipped in time for Christmas (with the obligatory advertisement for the signed comic print-outs, of course). This text was almost certainly up before it was archived, however, as the 'Tuesday' in question was the very day that it was added to archive.org. The wording is also a bit confusing, as it implies that either 1)they were expecting the store to NOT be running smoothly or 2)the store running smoothly at all is unexpected.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081202150349/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[511: Sleet]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20081211124445/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-11] {{nowrap|(during [[515: No One Must Know]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ Order]}} before the 12th to ensure 
US delivery before the 25th.}}
|This was the routine December header text at this point. It let readers know that there was not only new merch in the store, but also revealed the date you needed to order to have delivery guaranteed by the 25th. This date would later be extended to the 16th, but nobody knew about that at this point.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081002175315/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[483: Fiction Rule of Thumb]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081125150337/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[508: Drapes]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} XKCD updates every Monday, 
Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This rather oddly-formatted header text was a simple store promotion and standard header combo, letting people know that new merch had been added to the store. Randall was seemingly quite proud of all the new stuff that had been recently added to the shop, because the store had been advertised for over 4 straight months at this point and would continue to be promoted until 4 months later. This is the first, and seemingly only, time that the standard header text has been broken up into multiple lines.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080805184617/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[458: Regrets]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080922225907/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[479: Tones]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} New {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ shirt and skirt]}} now shipping.}}
|This was the second header in a row to promote the store. This one promoted 'new merchandise', more specifically a shirt and a skirt, which were apparently shipping at the time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080728075533/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-28] {{nowrap|(during [[455: Hats]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and skirt in the {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header. It said that there had been new releases in the store, being a shirt and, rather unexpectedly, a skirt. No clue what would have been put on a skirt, but it existed.
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080617035452/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-06-17] {{nowrap|(during [[437: SUV]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080703181835/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-03] {{nowrap|(during [[444: Macgyver Gets Lazy]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080409062908/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[408: Overqualified]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080430072916/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-30] {{nowrap|(during [[417: The Man Who Fell Sideways]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}} is back.}}
|This rather ominous header text came after the store had apparently gone away for a few months. This was one of the shortest header texts ever, coming in at just four words and 15 characters.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080321072739/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-03-21] {{nowrap|(during [[399: Travelling Salesman Problem]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD is updated every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
The [http://store.xkcd.com/ {{Header link|store] {{Header text|is back.}}}}}}
|This rather ominous header text was an announcement of the reinstatement of the xkcd store, which had apparently gone away for some time between January 16th, 2008 (the last time the store had been promoted on the header text) and March 21st, 2008 (the only time this header text was archived). I find it funny that Randall successfully made it sound like the xkcd store was a supervillain from a children's cartoon or the antagonist in a bad 1970s sci-fi movie.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080218115842/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-18] {{nowrap|(during [[385: How it Works]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
Blag: [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/aliens/ {{Header link|Aliens] {{Header text|and [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/the-laser-elevator/ {{Header link|laser elevators]{{Header text|.}}}}}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple promotion of two recent Blag posts. 'Aliens' was a short rant about how poorly we were seaching for extraterrestrial life, and a prediction that the search for alien life would ramp up 'in a decade' (which, at the time of this post going up, would have been 2018). This obviously didn't end up panning out. The other one, laser elevators, is a rant about how bad {{w|Solar sail|Solar sails}} are, and shows a solution that a recent study had come up with, where a photon could be repeatedly bounced between a solar sail and a large reflective panel to create large amounts of energy. The post then goes farther off the rails, comparing physics to sex and then creating a theory where, using a Dyson sphere and a series of lasing cavities within it, a laser could be created and aimed at a star, creating an effective method for interstellar war. The post ends with a message to the aliens: the rather brash "FUCK YOU GUYS!"
|Other promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20080116055414/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[371: Compiler Complaint]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080202114535/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[378: Real Programmers]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071212040227/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[355: Couple]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20080113050121/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-13] {{nowrap|(during [[369: Dangers]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]] 
[http://xkcd.com/store {{Header link|xkcd store]}}
|This was the traditional, annual store promotion, banner and all. However, unlike past future promotions, this header did not actually mention Christmas, it just kinda happened to be there during Christmas. It was clearly a Christmas promotion. And if that wasn't convincing enough, the actual name of the image in the header text is 'christmas_imglink'. However, 'christmas_imglink' stayed until mid-january, about 3 weeks after Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071125101002/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071209030605/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-09] {{nowrap|(during [[354: Startling]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]]
|This header was quite short-lived. It contained a single image which promoted the store. Because of this header's low uptime and the contents of the next header, it is quite possible that Randall simply forgot to include the actual link to the store, which is what the next header added.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071117155253/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-17] {{nowrap|(during [[345: 1337: Part 5]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071123133252/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-23] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]{{Header text|!}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple store promotion promoting a shirt and a hoodie, which was in the store at the time before it got shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071112104631/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-12] {{nowrap|(during [[341: 1337: Part 1
]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071116040809/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-16] {{nowrap|(during [[344: 1337: Part 4]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]}}!
There will be five comics this week, one each weekday!}}
|This header text combined the previous header text advertising the store with a notification about the 1337 Series, which was a 5-part comic series that Randall was creating at the time. Comics would release each weekday for that week, and Randall notified readers of this.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071027094704/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-27] {{nowrap|(during [[334: Wasteland]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071111214505/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-11] {{nowrap|(during [[340: Fight]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for preorder in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]}}!}}
|This was a very simple header text, advertising a new shirt and a hoodie in the xkcd store. It was only up for a few days before the 1337 series notice was added.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20071024131946/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-24] {{nowrap|(during [[333: Getting Out of Hand]]}})
|''(no header text)''
|Randall, having put up the standard header text for a bit, forgot to put up the replacement text for the second time in a month. This was very short-lived, so it didn't affect too much. Presumably, Randall was trying to replace the previous standard header with the store promotion in the next one, but forgot to put in the new one, leaving the header text blank.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071005115902/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-05] {{nowrap|(during [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071023083642/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-23] {{nowrap|(during [[332: Gyroscopes]]}})
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every monday, wednesday, and friday}}
|A return to the standard header text. This was the last time a version of the standard header without any capitalized letters was used, but a version with 'xkcd' all in lowercase did reemerge later.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|}

===2007-10-02 - NOTHING AGAIN===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071004202736/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Tapping]])
*Randall once again fully forgor.
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20071004213008/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-04] (during [[Tapping]]

===2007-10-02 - Forums3===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071002094941/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Ballmer Peak]])
*The text: 
You can use [http://forums3.xkcd.com/ forums3.xkcd.com] until DNS 
updates.
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20071003015205/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-03] (again, during [[Ballmer Peak]]), but OMG THIS IS A GUARANTEED LAST DAY FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

===2007-09-17 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070917215531/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-17] (during [[That Lovin' Feelin']])
*No text
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20070926234657/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-26], but only a 2-day gap, so that’s something! This was during [[Thighs]]

At this point, my archives began to break down. This is when it became much more tedious. Coincidentially, this is when archives became much more common, meaning that the pain didn’t stop after all.
===2007-08-09 - Reality-modifying stickers===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070809012909/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-08-09] (during [[Facebook]])
*The text: 
Reality-modifying stickers and a new shirt in the [https://xkcd.com/store store]!
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070904063904/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-04]. Next archive? The 17th!

===2007-06-10 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070610103907/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-10] (during [[With Apologies to The Who]])
*The text: 

*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070714202506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-07-14] (during [[Alone]]) Gap is between July 14th and AUGUST NINTH

===2007-06-02 - Powers of 1(0)===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070602203916/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-02] (during [[Powers of One]])
*The text: 
Background:{{w|Powers of ten|Powers of Ten}} on Wikipedia
*One archive, 8-day gap, when will this end…

===2007-05-24 - Communities map poster===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-24] (during [[Choices: Part 4]])
*The text: 
The [https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://xkcd.com/store/ Online Communities Map poster] is now shipping. 
This week, XKCD updates every weekday.
*One archive, 9-day gap

===2007-05-19 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070519162137/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-19] (during [[Certainty]])
*The text: 

*One archive, 5-day gap… sigh…. How do we even categorize these? I haven’t thought about that…

===2007-05-06 - Preorder 256 posters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-06] (during [[Code Talkers]]
*The text: 
You can preorder posters of the online communities map in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*This one line was so long that you couldn’t see the end of the word ‘store’
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070514171227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-14] (during [[Regarding Mussolini]]). 5-day gap.

===2007-05-03 - 2^8th comic===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-03] (during [[Online Communities]])
*The text: 
Hooray, the 2^8th comic! 
By popular demand: preorder a [https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster] of this map!
*Please note that we have no clue if there was any actual demand for a poster
*One archive, but no ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-24 - Back to standard text===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070324053307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-24] (during [[Blagofaire]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070406171936/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-04-06]. The next archive after this is from MAY THIRD.

===2007-03-21 - Good shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070321155442/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-21] (during [[Pet Peeve 114]])
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store].
*One archive, but only a three-day gap. No ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-16 - Sense of Security Blag===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-16] (during [[Collecting Double-Takes]]
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://blag.xkcd.com/ Lost: comic originals, sense of security.] (blag post)
*One archive, 5-day gap…. ‘’sigh’’

===2007-03-06 - Map of the internet – That you can buy!===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-06] (during [[Cat Proximity]])
*The phrases ‘new:’ are both in red
*The text: 
New: Map of the Internet [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster print] 
New: Two new shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20070314012824/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-14] (during [[Escape Artist]]) (yes, I said ended, not ‘last archived version’)

===2007-02-12 - Shirt restock===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-12] (during [[Small Talk]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://xkcd.com/store/ T-shirts] are restocked (for now) and shipping promptly!
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070227234312/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-27]. Sadly, a seven-day archive gap means we’re back to suffering.

===2007-02-10 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070210042242/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-10] (during [[Random Number]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Only one archive, but THE GAP IS ONLY TWO DAYS!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!

===2007-02-02 - New blag post===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-02] (during [[e to the pi Minus pi]])
*The text: 
New blag post: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://blag.xkcd.com/2007/01/29/washingtons-farewell-address-translated-into-the-vernacular/ Washington’s Farewell Address in everyday speech].
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070204031035/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-04] (during [[Nintendo Surgeon]]). A six-day archive gap means we once again can’t have any fun.

===2007-01-24 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070124194143/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-24] (during [[The Problem with Wikipedia]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Just one archive once again! And, once again, a long archive gap means we can’t have any fun

===2007-01-19 - He zorbed too hard :(===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-19] (during [[Brain]])
*ZORB is a company offering experiences where you roll downhill in human-sized available Hampster balls. Apparently, he's attempting to acquire one of the balls for himself, and failing.
*The text: 
I tried writing to [https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.zorb.com/ zorb] but I can’t convince them to send me one.
*Only one archive, lasted anywhere from 1-8 days

===2006-12-31 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061231002902/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-31] (during [[Hallucinations]])
*The standard header’s first appearance in its current form
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archive is [https://web.archive.org/web/20070114100227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-14] (during [[Kayak]]). This is only an approximation, as there’s a 5-day archive gap.

===2006-12-14 - Xmas Orders closed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-14] (during [[Command Line Fu]])
*The text: 
Christmas orders are closed! They will finish shipping shortly! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thecutest.info/ TheCutest]
*OH MY GOD THERE IS A 2.5 WEEK GAP

===2006-12-09 - Deadline 12/13===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061209222812/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-09] (during [[Penises]])
*The first line is in red, except for the link, which is the normal color. The second line is the normal color.
*The text: 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th. 
Supplies are limited; shirts are not guaranteed to stay in stock
*Only one archive once again! A 5-day gap in the archives mean we don’t know when it ended…or began.

===2006-12-05 - Useless shirt===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-05] (during [[Working for Google]])
*The second line of text is in red, except for the period at the end of the sentence.
*The text: 
New ‘Useless’ shirt available in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]! (Supplies limited) 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th.
*Actually, first time in a while where we really can just include that one archive, maybe with a ‘circa’ attached tho

===2006-11-29 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061129035519/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-11-29] (during [[Exercise]])
*The text: 

*Unknown end date (6-day gap), lasted only one archive

===2006-11-18 - Need submitters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-18] (during [[Wikifriends]])
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info] - Have voters, need submitters. 
(Content is user-submitted and may occasionally not be work-safe.)
*End date unknown (11-day archive gap). lasted only one archive.

===2006-11-09 - New toys===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-09] (during [[Interblag]]
*The text 
New toys: [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info]
*End date unknown again, 8-day gap in archives

===2006-10-13 - Nothing===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061013224954/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-10-13] (during [[Turn Back]])
*The text: 

*Both start and end date unknown, as there is a 2-3-week gap between archives. One archive

===2006-09-01 - IRC channel===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-09-01] (during [[Mario]])
*The website at the end of the text isn’t a link, but the words ‘xkcd irc channel’ are.
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://xkcd.com/store/ Store] has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends. 
NEWS: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?t=207 xkcd irc channel] (#xkcd on irc.foonetic.net)
*We have literally no clue about anything between September 1st and October 13th. And the one on October 13th is just nothing! Also, one archive

===2006-08-29 - BEEG shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-29] (during [[Sandwich]]
*The word ‘news’ is still in all caps, but has lost its boldness.
*The text: 
Two t-shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]! One sweet, one bitchin’. 
NEWS: Store has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends.
*Just one archive, but at least we’re only limited to a 3-day window. Don’t include ‘until unknown’ here

===2006-08-19 - Parody Week Dinosaur===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-19] (during [[Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics]])
*Sadly, this is the only archive from the entirety of parody week. We can only assume that each comic from Parody Week had a very similar header to this, but they are all lost media now.
*The text: 
Saturday is the last day to vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://xkcd.com/date/ date contest]! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://qwantz.com/ Dinosaur Comics] tribute! Regular comics return Monday.
*Only one archive. Because the header is specific to this comic (but not comic-specific - it was definitely global), we can probably say that this header left as the global header when the next comic came out.

===2006-08-12 - Next Week Parody Week===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060812105656/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-12] (during [[Delicious]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is formatted the same as last time
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ Next week is Parody Week! New comic every weekday!
*Ended sometime around [https://web.archive.org/web/20060813123244/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-13] (during [[Delicious]])

===2006-08-10 - Awesome date project===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-10] (during [[I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is in BOLD and ALL CAPS, but isn’t thicc like last time.
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/store/ Signed prints] of many comics are available! 
Don’t forget to help vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/date/ awesome date project]!
*Only one archive, and this time only two days between archives. We can only include the archive this time, not the ‘until unknown’

===2006-07-21 - BestThing.info===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-21] (during [[Fans]])
*’SISTER PROJECT’ is bold and in ALL CAPS (it’s also very thicc, which is odd. Same thickness as header link.)
*The text: 
Comic updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
SISTER PROJECT: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://bestthing.info/ BestThing.info] - decide What’s Best!
*Only one archive, but the end date is unknown as there are ~3 weeks between headers. End with ‘until Unknown’

===2006-07-20 - Video unearthed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060720090950/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-20] (during [[Julia Stiles]])
*News is once again in big and bold
*The text:
**NEWS: I've unearthed the video referenced in today's comic!
**Check the news section of the forums to watch it.
*Only one archive (this was a time of quick, very short-lived headers)

===2006-07-14 - Sunday last day===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-14] (during [[dPain over dt]])
*the word 'news' is, again, big and bold.
*The text:
**NEWS: Sunday is the last day to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]]!
*only one archive once again
===2006-07-10 - One week for tees===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-10] (during [[Red Spiders Cometh]])
*the word 'news' is '''<big>Big n' Bold</big>'''
*The text:
**NEWS: One week left to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]!
*Only one archive

===2006-07-05 - Comic 23 Tee===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-05]
*Top red line is bold
*The text:
**Get a t-shirt based on comic #23 in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]!
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060706040359/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-06] (during [[Blogofractal]])

===2006-06-16 - DYK forums===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-16] (during [[Meerkat]])
*The same format as the previous one. two lines of red text
*The text:
**T-shirts shipped out Monday morning!
**Did you know we have active [https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://forums.xkcd.com/ forums]?
*Again, only this archive

===2006-06-12 - Packaged T-shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060612221916/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-12] (during [[Computational Linguists]])
*Text is in red sans-serif
*First time t-shirts are mentioned, but the two months in between archives probably contained something forever lost to time.
*The text:
**T-shirts are packaged and shipping first thing Monday!
*Only this one archive had this header

===2006-04-08 - nothin'===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060408214700/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-04-08] (during [[Digital Rights Management]])
*Now it's in WingDings!
*The text:
**
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060428065305/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-04-28] (during [[95: The Sierpinski Penis Game]])

===2005-12-12 - Composite face images===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-12-12]
*MORE TNR!
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
**I also create [https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/morphs/ composite images of faces] (available on commission)
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060207154349/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-02-07] (during [[Super Bowl]])

===2005-11-26 - ASCG===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-26] (during [[Old Notebook]])
*More TNR
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I also run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
*Only up one archive
|-
|From c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] {{nowrap|(during [[21: Kepler]]}} until c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] {{nowrap|(during [[31: Barrel - Part 5]]}}
|{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
|This header text was a very short bio of Randall. It detailed multiple different things going on in his life.

{{w|RoboWar}} is a strategy-based video game where one must code a virtual robot to eliminate all others and be the last one standing. The game hosted regular competitions until mid-2003, at which point the player base began to die out. Evidently, RoboWar made a temporary return in 2005, which Randall was celebrating. He also provided a link to the official version of the game which supported {{w|Windows (operating system)|Windows}}.

[[Blue Eyes]] is a logic puzzle uploaded to xkcd c.2004, advertised as 'the hardest logic puzzle in the world'.
===2005-10-18 - Basic Bio===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] (during [[Kepler]])
*This was in the Times New Roman font, idk why.
*The text:
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] (During [[Barrel - Part 5]])

User:DollarStoreBa'al/WORKPAGE

2026-04-02T14:44:25Z

DollarStoreBa'al:

<big><big><big>IF YOU AREN'T DOLLARSTOREBA'AL, LEAVE NOW! IT'S A SURPRISE!!!</big></big></big>

<big><big><big><big>I MEAN IT!</big></big></big></big>

{{notice|<big><big><big><big>REMEMBER: ALWAYS PUT ON THE MOTIVATIONAL PLAYLIST BEFORE WORKING</big></big></big></big>}}
{{notice2|<big><big><big><big>ADD MORE SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST</big></big></big></big>}}
==Header Texts==
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" |Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
!Purpose
|-
|Find Archive (3074)
[[3074: Push Notifications]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was created with [http://github.com/cotrone {{Header link|Kevin Controne]}}, [https://chromakode.com {{Header link|Max Goodhart]}}, [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ {{Header link|Patrick]}}, [https://github.com/benley {{Header link|Benjamin Staffin]}}, [http://burningcandle.io/ {{Header link|Conor Stokes]}}, and [https://github.com/ayust {{Header link|Amber]}}.}}}}}
|This comic's header text gives credit to those who helped Randall create 2025's April Fools' Day comic. Each link takes you to the person's social media page, GitHub page, or personal website. At the time of writing (October 2025), this is the only comic to have a unique header text past comic #3000, meaning it's been over half a year since a comic has had a unique header.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-07-11]
[[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic accidentally inspired by 
[https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ {{Header link|this Buttersafe comic] {{Header text|from 2011!}}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions that it was 'accidentally inspired' by [https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ a Buttersafe comic]. It is assumed, but not confirmed, that the custom text was on the front page until the next comic, [[2958]], was published. The header text makes it clear that not only is he a fan of Buttersafe (as shown in the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics I enjoy]] section of [xkcd.com]), but he also did not know of the existence of this comic until after it was published. This is shown with the fact that [https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ it was not shown until the next day]. This text is permanently shown with this comic. As a special situation, this header text did not replace the current global header text, but was instead added below it at the time ([[#2024-05-15_-_Special_10th_anniversary_edition_of_WHAT_IF.3F|10th anniversary for what if?]])
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240406163326/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-04-06]
[[2916: Machine]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://github.com/spyhi Ed White], [https://twitter.com/uh_oh_thats_bad Alex Garcia], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], 
[http://burningcandle.io/ Conor & Ami Stokes], [https://liranuna.com/ Liran Nuna], [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick], 
[https://manishearth.github.io/ Manish Goregaokar],

[https://github.com/benley Benjamin Staffin], [https://github.com/ayust Amber], and [https://github.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg] with physics by [https://rapier.rs/ Rapier].}}
| This comic's header text mentions the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Saturday 6 April 2024 until [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] came out on Monday 8 April 2024. The earliest archived version of the next comic is from the following Tuesday [http://web.archive.org/web/20240409060444/https://xkcd.com/ 9 April 2024]. It is assumed that the header text changed late on Monday 8 April 2024, despite the fact that Machine was still up at that time, as shown in [https://web.archive.org/web/20240408225854/https://xkcd.com/ this archive]. When [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] was released, the front page had returned to the normal header.

As seen in the text, many people were involved. Some helped with two previous [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comics]], but there are many more involved in this comic than anything which came before it. Clicking on each person takes you to a link of their Instagram, Twitter, or the homepage of their own website/blog. In the credits, it is seen that the physics for the comic used Rapier, the Fast 2D and 3D physics engine for the {{w|Rust (programming language)| Rust programming language}}. This header text was removed from the homepage on [https://web.archive.org/web/20240409010518/https://xkcd.com/2916/ 2022-04-09], but it stayed as a permanent header for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20]
[[2765: Escape Speed]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was put together with help from [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick Clapp], 
[https://amberyu.st/ Amber], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], and [https://www.aiweirdness.com/ Janelle Shane].}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put the comic together. Despite the fact the comic was supposed to be a Wednesday release according to the archives, it was on the homepage from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20] until Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230421082400/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-21], when the next comic ([[2766: Helium Reserve]]) was released and the page returned to its normal header. This header text remains as a permanent header text for this comic.

Clicking each name takes you to their Instagram/Twitter page or the homepage of their own website/blog. Most had helped with the two previous April Fools' day comic (see below).
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|FIND ARCHIVE HERE}}
[[2729: Planet Killer Comet Margarita]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was drawn for Daniel Becker, based on 
[https://what-if.xkcd.com/162/ his winning question] submitted to the [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2 What If? 2 contest].
|This header celebrated the winner of Randall's What If? 2 Contest, being one Daniel Becker. It mentions that the comic was based off the winning question's entry into the What If? blog.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01]
[[2601: Instructions]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with 
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/chromakode @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], 
[https://twitter.com/xDirtyPunkx Conor], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01] until Tuesday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220405031003/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-05], when [[2602: Linguistics]] came out and the front page returned to its normal header.

Clicking on each of the names takes you to the person's Instagram/Twitter page. Five also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header was only related to 2601, it was removed from the frontpage header, but it stayed up as a permanent header on this specific comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01]
[[2445: Checkbox]]
|{{Header text|This comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], 
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], and [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped put it together. It was on the front page from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01] until [[2446: Spike Proteins]] released Monday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210405130031/http://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-05].

Each person has a link to their name, the first being a personal homepage, and the other six linking to their Twitter accounts. Five of these people also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header is related only to this comic, it was removed from the front page and continued as a permanent header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 2020-04-04]
[[2288: Collector's Edition]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was only on the front page for about 1 day, around the 3rd or [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 4th of April] 2020, the day before [[2289: Scenario 4]] came out, and the header text returned to normal.

Each name credited has either a personal homepage or a Twitter profile, except for the last name, which isn't linked.

As this header text was only relevant to this comic, it was removed as the front page header and stayed as a permanent header to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20171214171157/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-12-14]
[[1928: Seven Years]]
|{{Header text| Becky Beaton, sister of fellow cartoonist Kate Beaton, 
has also been diagnosed with cancer.

You can support her treatment [https://www.youcaring.com/beckybeaton-1008390 here].}}
|This text was released as a response to the cancer diagnosis of Becky Beaton, the sister of {{w|Kate Beaton}}, the author of the webcomic [http://www.harkavagrant.com/ Hark! A Vagrant]. Although this is not on Randall's list of ''[[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics he enjoys]]'', he is clearly influenced by a cancer diagnosis among someone in his creative field.

Despite the fact that the support page was discontinued, this text continues to stay on this comic. Making this weirder is the fact that Randall has previously done something similar for another friend, Emily, but [[#2014-11-27_-_Help_Emily|that header]] was not made permanent.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES WOOO!!}}
[[1975: Right Click]]
|{{Header text|A number of people collaborated to build this comic, including 
[https://chromakode.com/ @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/aiiane/ Amber] [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest/ @fadinginterest] 
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501/ Kat], [https://twitter.com/cotrone/ Kevin], and [https://90d.ca/ Stereo].
|This comic gave credit to the people that helped Randall put together that year's April Fools' Day comic. Most contributors mentioned in this text have also helped with other comics since then. Each link in the text took you to either the contributors' social media page or their own personal website.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20170428041338/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-04-28]
[[1830: ISS Solar Transit 2]]
|{{Header text|Previously:}} {{Header link|[[1828: ISS Solar Transit|ISS Solar Transit]]}}
|This header links back to [[1828: ISS Solar Transit]], a comic with the same joke setup released on the Monday of the same week
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES!}}
[[1738: Moon Shapes]]
|{{Header text|Thank you to Phil Plait for the correction on #4!}}
|This header gives credit to Phil Plait, who corrected a mistake in the comic and prompted Randall to update the comic after its release.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161010215516/http://xkcd.com/1723/ 2016-10-10]
[[1723: Meteorite Identification]]
|{{Header text|Note: Jolyon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], made a similar chart way before me!}}
|This Header text gives credit to Joylon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], who made a very similar comic to this long before Randall. This Header text is permanently attached to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160512102325/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-05-12]
[[1679: Substitutions 3]]
|{{notice|FInd the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This comic was the third installment of the ''Substitutions'' series. As he did the same with [[#Substitutions 2|the second]], the header text is very similar.

This header text is a permanent staple of this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161231231600/http://xkcd.com/1663/ 2016-04-04]
[[1663: Garden]]
|{{Header text|Protip: If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it. 
You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}
|This comic had a header text to help people use the comic when it came out. It was the global header text for some time, before it disappeared from the main header and remained as the header for Garden.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160104171722/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-01-04]
[[1625: Substitutions 2]]
|{{notice|Find the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This header text was used as a link to the previous installment of the ''substitutions'' series. When [[xkcd_Header_text#Substitutions_3|Substitutions 3]], Randall made a separate header text linking to Substitutions 1 and 2. It was on the main page while the comic was up, and continues as a header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|[F]AR[T]CHIVES}}
[[1446: Landing]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|A big thank-you to [https://www.planetary.org/blogs/emily-lakdawalla/ Emily Lakdawalla] for help and advice on this comic.}}}}}
|This header gives credit to Emily Lakdawalla, who helped Randall create the comic, which was a live comic-based recreation of the landing of Philae, a probe designed by the ESA to land on Comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. It is assumed that Emily was the reason that Randall was able to get current information about the landing so quickly.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|{{notice|notice|notice|notice|}}
[[1127: Congress]]
|{{Header text|You can get this comic as a [https://store.xkcd.com/products/congress-poster poster]!
|This header text is the only one to be a permanent header text promoting the store. At the time of writing (November 2025), the store is offline, meaning that this link doesn't work. This is the most recent comic-specific header text to promote the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-07-09]
[[1079: United Shapes]]
|{{Header text|There's a larger version of this map 
[http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ here] (Colorado is [http://xkcd.com/1079/colorado/ here]). 
It's also available as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#StateMap poster].}}
|This header was only on July 9th, 2012, the day this comic came out. The day after, every page except the front page displayed [[xkcd_Header_text#2012-07-10_-_New:_what-if.xkcd.com|a different header]].

On the 13th of July, other pages had a new version of the header above. Later, 1079 gained a special combined header text, removing the part about Colorado and consolidating the unique header text into a single sentence. The new global header text, promoting the first installment of the What if? blog, was inserted below the unique text, creating a very unique combination header. Possibly due to a bug, the What if? announcement remains on the comic to this day, despite the fact that it was a normal global header, which changed for all other pages many years ago.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|Put me down as 'not excited'}}
[[1052: Every Major's Terrible]]
|{{Header text|Cool--someone's already taken a crack at [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1VhsNOwPU/ singing this]!
|This header text promoted an attempt at someone singing the comic, which was a parody of the {{w|Major-General's Song}}. It links to a YouTube video of the attempt. As seen from the text, this header was not up with the release of the comic, but instead came out later.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120425220409/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-25]
[[1047: Approximations]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Lots of emails mention the physicist favorite, 1 year = pi x 107 seconds. 
75^4 is a hair more accurate, but it's hard to top 3,141,592's elegance.}}}}}
|This comic has a permanent header text stating that many people emailed Randall about a separate approximation for the amount of seconds in a year. However, because the earliest archive already shows this text, it is unlikely that Randall actually received these emails before changing the text.

This header text was unique to this comic from the start, as other comics contained the global header text at the time of 1047's release date.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120401151639/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-01]
[[1037: Umwelt]]
|{{Header text|You can get posters, prints, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store].}}
|This comic's header text promotes the xkcd store permanently. Despite the fact that the comic was on the front page, this was a comic-exclusive header from the very beginning, as other comics had the global header text on 1037's release date.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120319130702/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-19]
[[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]]
|{{Header text|A helpful reader has provided an [https://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 s/keyboard/leopard/ user script].}}
|In response to the joke of this comic, a reader created a browser extension that replaces each instance of the word 'keyboard' with the word 'leopard'. Randall appears to have gotten this script before its official release, as it was already on the header on the day the comic was released. While the link does not go anywhere useful any longer, an archived version of the link can be accessed [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321174019/http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 here].

When [[1032: Networking]] came out on [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321205835/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-03-21], the header text had returned to how it was before.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111229043804/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-12-29]
[[996: Making Things Difficult]]
|{{Header text|Some context for the cancer comics: 
[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/]}}
|This header text links to Randall's [[Blag]], providing context for the recent comics relating to cancer. Around that time, his then-fiancee was diagnosed with Stage three Breast Cancer, which resulted in more emotional comics relating to cancer, leaving many readers confused.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120404110059/http://xkcd.com:80/980 2012-04-04]
[[980: Money]]
|{{Header text|This one was fun (and exhausting) to make. 
There's a poster of it in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/money-poster store]!}}
|This header text links to the store page for this comic, containing a large poster of the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111115231643/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-11-15]
[[977: Map Projections]]
|{{Header text|It turns out Monday was Steve Waterman's birthday. 
His [https://web.archive.org/web/20111118003418/http://www.watermanpolyhedron.com/ site] has posters of his map, 
plus maybe the world's only Winkel Tripel-critiquing poetry.}}
|This header text mentions the birthday of Steve Waterman, and links to the homepage of his website.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA, THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!}}
[[931: Lanes]]
|{{Header text|[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Some context].}}
|This header text gave context to the comic, which was in relation to cancer. At that point, Randall's wife was battling {{w|Breast cancer}}, so cancer was a major part of Randall's life at that point in time.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|HO-HO, HEE-HEE, HA-HA}}
[[920: YouTube Parties]]
|{{Header text|Oops! It seems I [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/07/04/oops/ wasn't the first one] to do this joke.}}
|This header text, which is very similar to the header text for [[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]], admits that Randall was accidentally inspired by a different comic which had done the same joke earlier. The link in the text took you to a blag post admitting to the accidental plagiarism.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|weer}}
[[896: Marie Curie]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic might be familiar to a few dozen of you. :) 
P.S. [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a message to those who 'might be familar' with the comic. The second was to promote a new Blag post, titled ''Michael Bay's Scenario''.
|
|-
|{{notice|Boneless Chicken}}
[[870: Advertising]]
|{{Header text|Note: This comic's filename was originally 'advertising.png'. If you 
couldn't see it, that was just your AdBlock zealously protecting you.}}}
|This header text let readers know about an issue with the comic not showing up that some users were experiencing. The comic was, apparently, being shown by displaying a PNG of the comic, which people's AdBlockers were mistaking for an advertisement, preventing the comic from appearing.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|8,866,550}}
[[865: Nanobots]]
|{{Header text|xkcd.com now has IPv6 connectivity. If [https://test-ipv6.com/ you] can't reach it, you or your 
ISP have [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPv6_brokenness_and_DNS_whitelisting/ misconfigured equipment]. Sadly, I now have no way to tell you.}}
|This comic's header lets readers know that xkcd supports IPv6 (Internet Protocol Version Six) connectivity, which assigns each device with an IP address and increases the amount of possible IP addresses to over 900 Undecillion. It also tells readers that if they are unable to access that connectivity, either they or their ISP haven't configured their equipment correctly. However, Randall admits he has no way to tell readers which end has the issue.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|2011-01-04
[[851: Na]]
|{{Header text|I can't ''believe'' I forgot Hey Jude. 
I don't get do-overs, but I couldn't resist making [https://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/ a fixed version].}}
|This header text appeared after Randall made this comic, consisting of songs known for repeating the lyric 'na'. After realizing he forgot 'Hey Jude' by {{w|The Beatles}}, he made a separate version of the comic with 'Hey Jude' included. See more in the comic's [[851:_Na#Trivia|trivia section]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|Neenannerneenannerneenannerneenanner}}
[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://www.smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weiner]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the last one before returning to normal. This header lets leaders know about who contributed to the comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Zach Weinersmith}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|choking on your alibis}}
[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://overcompensating.com/ Jeffrey Rowland]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the fourth one of five. It lets the readers know who contributed and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}}, author of the webcomic [https://www.wigucomics.com/oc/index.php?/ Overcompensating].
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|But it's just the price I pay!}}
[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://foxtrot.com Bill Amend]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the third one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Bill Amend}}, author of the webcomic {{w|FoxTrot}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|not nice}}
[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [http://www.buttercupfestival.com David Troupes]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the second one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was David Troupes, author of the webcomic {{w|Buttercup Festival}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|eciton}}
[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://questionablecontent.net Jeph Jacques]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was to let readers know of Guest Week, this comic being the first of five guest comics. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeph Jacques}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Questionable Content}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|meweeeeeeewrr}}
[[802: Online Communities 2]]
|{{Header text|Full view [https://xkcd.com/802_large/ here], poster [https://store.xkcd.com/products/online-communities-poster here]. Note: While I was working on this, 
Ethan Bloch posted [https://web.archive.org/web/20120111133638/https://www.flowtown.com/blog/the-2010-social-networking-map his own update] of my {{xkcd|256|my 2007 map}}. Check it out, too!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a larger version of the comic and also promote its poster, which could be found in the xkcd store before it was shut down. The second is to promote the fact that one Ethan Bloch had created his own update of {{xkcd|256|comic 256}}. The link above now takes you to an archive link as the original site is now defunct.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20100514072436/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-12]
[[739: Malamanteau]]
|{{Header text| At Wikipedia's request, I release this comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This comic's header text mentions that this specific comic is released under a Creative Commons 3.0 license. The link in the header text goes to the page regarding the Attribution Share-Alike 3.0 United States (CC BY-SA 3.0 US) license. Normally, xkcd is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 (CC BY-NC 2.5) license.

This comic's header didn't appear until between 2 and 4 months after it was published, with the earliest archive with the custom header text being from [https://web.archive.org/web/20100913003146/http://xkcd.com/739/ September 13th].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|ow}}
[[681: Gravity Wells]]
|{{Header text|Click on the comic to view the full-size version}}
|This simple header text lets readers know that, if they want a full-size version, they can click on the comic to access it.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|whuiae}}
[[657: Movie Narrative Charts]]
|{{Header text|This comic is also available as a poster [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters/products/movie-narrative-charts-poster here]! 
Click on today's comic to view the full-size version!}}
|This header text served two purposes. The first was to promote the fact that the comic could be acquired as a poster in the store before it was shut down. The second purpose was to let readers know that, if they wanted a larger version of the comic, they could access it by clicking on the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|archive find}}
[[645: RPS]]
|{{Header text|Comic today's you confuses [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_Polish_notation here] click if.}}
|This header text was a parody of the comic, being written in {{w|Reverse Polish notation}}. In normal notation, it would be read as 'Click here if today's comic confuses you', with the word 'here' linking to the Wikipedia page for Reverse Polish notation.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard}}
[[580: The Race: Part 4]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the last comic in the series and was released on a Thursday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 2}}
[[579: The Race: Part 3]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the third comic in the series, and was released on the normal release date of Wednesday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 3}}
[[578: The Race: Part 2]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the second installment in the series, being released on a Tuesday. This comic was also where the '(through Friday)' portion of the header got added. It's possible that people got confused and assumed that Randall would release 7 comics over 7 days, when he would actually be only releasing comics every day until Friday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 4}}
[[577: The Race: Part 1]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day.}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the first installment in the series, and was released on a Monday
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Those is great pants!}}
[[563: Fermirotica]]
|{{Header text|There are xkcd prints available in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
[https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=sqrt(2%2F(pi*18000%2F(mi^2)*80%2Fyear*30+minutes) Example Google sex calculation]
|This header served two purposes. It promoted the fact that you could get xkcd prints in the xkcd store before it was shut down, and also gave an example of the content shown in the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20081014232952/http://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-13]
[[488: Steal This Comic]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Note: the [https://www.amazon.com/MP3-Music-Download/b?ie=UTF8&node=163856011 Amazon.com MP3 store] sells DRM-free music. Kudos.}}}}}
|This comic and header text was made as a complaint of Digital Rights Management, or {{w|DRM}}. The header text makes a proclamation that the Amazon MP3 store sells DRM-free music, telling his readers how to acquire music not affected by DRM.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|You're doing it again}}
[[482: Height]]
|{{Header text|This comic is available as [https://store.xkcd.com/products/height-poster a poster print].}}
|This simple header served the purpose of advertising the fact that you could get this comic as a poster in the xkcd store, before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-05]
[[472: House of Pancakes|472: House of Pancakes]]
|{{Header text|(Today's comic is a parody of [https://www.amazon.com/House-Leaves-Mark-Z-Danielewski/dp/0375703764 House of Leaves].)}}
|When this comic was the newest, it was shown on the front page of xkcd, as seen here the day after release on [https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-06]. However, this header was only on this comic, and the normal header returned to the front page after comic 473 was released.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|the right ones}}
[[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
See: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0 Original Discovery Channel video]
|This header text serves to let the reader know of a video which they could watch, which contains the song that the comic is a parody of.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|where is my Spanish rn}}
[[433: Journal 5]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the final one in the series.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Before the nouns}}
[[432: Journal 4]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the fourth one in the series of five.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|This is let's write}}
[[426: Geohashing]]
|{{Header text|What is this about? See the [https://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/ wiki].}}
|This header text allowed the reader to do further research on the topic by linking to the official xkcd wiki, which was part of the long-defunct [[Forums]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|We will ever run out?}}
[[405: Journal 3]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|377|Journal 2}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series. Unlike the other installments of the Journal series, this text linked to the previous installment rather than the first installment.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Es el diablo}]
[[343: 1337: Part 3]]
|{{Header text|For use on Wikipedia, I release this particular 
comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This header text served the purpose of letting readers know that Randall had specially released this comic under a CC BY-SA 3.0 license, allowing for the image to be uploaded to {{w|Wikipedia}}. Normally, Randall normally releases his comics under a CC BY-NC 2.5 license, which, at the time, was not allowed to be uploaded to Wikipedia.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|}

{| class="sortable wikitable"
! Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" style=max-width:4em |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" | Purpose
|-
|From[https://web.archive.org/web/20260107215729/https://xkcd.com/3190/ 2026-01-07] {{nowrap|(during [[3190: Tensegrity]])}} until present.
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. This was the first change in the header text in over a year, and the first time the header text went to the standard text after almost exactly 4 straight years of book promotions.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241205201038/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[3020: Infinite Armada Chess]])}} until FIND
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]— 
revised and annotated with brand-new illustrations 
and answers to important questions you never thought to ask—Out now. 
Order it [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this text and the previous global header text is the final hyphen. The first link goes to the page for the new what if? book on xkcd, with the other link going to the Harper Collins (the publisher) page for the book. This header was up for over a year, except for the one month when Randall [[#2024-10-16 - Promotion of Kamala Harris for president|endorsed Harris]] for president. This makes it the longest time that ever that the header text has been left unchanged.

Because the previous header texts as well as the [[Countdown in header text|Header text countdown]] all promoted some sort of what if? book, the header has been continuously used to promote what if? for nearly 4 years at the time of writing.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241116184702/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-11-16] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241204160618/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-04] {{nowrap|(during [[3019: Advent Calendar Advent Calendar]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this header text and the next one was that during this time period, only preorders were available.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241017002108/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2999: Bad Map Projection: The United Stralia]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241115181146/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2024-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}}
|[[File:xkcd homepage strip harris for president.png|400x400px]]
|This header text was Randall's official endorsement of {{w|Kamala Harris}} for President during the {{w|2024 United States presidential election}}. He also posted the same image on his[https://x.com/xkcd/status/1853098106667114801 Twitter (formally X)] account and on his [https://bsky.app/profile/xkcd.com/post/3la2jku6ace2f Bluesky] account on November 3rd, two days before the election.

This text was up until November 11th, after the election had taken place and {{w|Donald Trump}} was declared the winner.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240515200351/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2933: Elementary Physics Paths]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241015192147/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2998: Ravioli-Shaped Objects]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|This text promotes the preorder of the 10th anniversary edition of the original what if? book. The first link goes to the page for the book on xkcd and the other link goes to the book's Harper Collins page (Harper Collins is the book's publisher). The same text was displayed after Randall's endorsement of Kamala Harris for president.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240320173158/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[2909: Moon Landing Mission Profiles]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240514034349/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2932: Driving PSA]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is on YouTube! The first video answers 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed Hubble at Earth?]” Follow the 
[https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif What If?] channel to be notified about new videos.}}}}}
|This header promotes the new what if? {{w|YouTube}} channel, in which Randall narrates a post on the what if? blog. At this point, the global header text had been promoting what if? for over two years.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20231129184009/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2861: X Value]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240319134138/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2908: Moon Armor Index]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is now on YouTube! 
Check out the first video for the answer to 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?]” 
and follow [https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif xkcd’s What If? The Video Series channel] to be notified about each new video.}}}}}
|This header promotes the what if? YouTube channel, narrated by Randall. The first link goes to the what if? page on xkcd, and the other two go to the new YouTube channel. A small change occurred [https://web.archive.org/web/20240314113602/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-14], where the first two lines became one line, making the alignment worse. This new version only lasted five days before a change was made, replacing it with a different, although very similar, header text.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230831200321/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-31]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2822: *@gmail.com]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20231128174224/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[2860: Decay Modes]])}}
|{{Header text| What if? 2 is [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/#UK now available] in paperback in the UK!}}
|This header text promotes the paperback version of what if? 2, notifying readers that it was available in the UK. The link goes to the page on xkcd about the what if? 2 book, and directing to the UK order link, where there was now an option to order a paperback copy.

An image was placed above the text, showing the front cover of the new book. Because this was not specifically related to what if? 2, it ended a streak of over 22 months where the header text was constantly promoting the book since the [[#2022-01-10_-_Standard_text_with_countdown|countdown]] began in January 2022.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230217185629/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2739: Data Quality]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230830064414/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2821: Path Minimization]])}}
|[[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|300x300px]]
|This header has no text, only an image of the front cover of the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220923182825/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-23]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230216181705/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2738: Omniknot]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 bestseller.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header consists of two images, with the one promoting the NYT bestseller list on the left.

This header somewhat obviously celebrates the fact that what if? 2, shortly after release, had claimed a spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913142432/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2672: What If? 2 Flowchart]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220922150042/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 out now.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header announces the release of Randall's what if? 2 book.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the book's page on the xkcd website.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-12]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913134002/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2671: Rotation]])}}
|[[File:one day till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to what had come out just two days before, which instead displayed an image showing 3 days.

The {{w|Les Miserables}} song mentioned is ''One Day More'', which is a fitting title for a song stuck in his head.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the xkcd page for ''what if? 2''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220911102450/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until 2022-09-12 (during [[2670: Interruption]])
|[[File:3 days till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to the header showing one week. which came out 4 days beforehand, and the header showing one day, which came out just one day after this header released.

Each image is a link, both taking you to the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220907211736/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]

From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220910024549/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}}
|[[File:1 week till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the third straight header to feature a two-image design, where the countdown was on the left and the book's cover was on the right.

It promoted the soon-to-be-released ''what if? 2'' book, which had been heavily promoted for nearly two weeks up to that point.

Each image is a link, which takes you the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220811055445/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-11]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2657: Complex Vowels]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220816124823/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20220827232205/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-27]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2664: Cloud Swirls]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220906191403/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}}
|[[File:Preorder what if? 2 header.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text, which advertised the fact that preorders were open for ''what if? 2'', was the global header text for two different stints. Instead of this being the global header from August 11th until September 6th, it was interrupted for 9 days while Randall's book tour was ongoing.

The image to the left was a link, which took you to a [https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 what if? 2 contest]. In this contest, one contestant's question would be answered by Randall and included in the book.

The image to the right takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220817161136/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220826202043/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2663: Tetherball Configurations]])}}
|[[File:what if? 2 book tour.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the first header of several to consist of two distinct images, and the third straight to contain the image of the book's cover after the countdown ended.

It promotes a book tour that Randall was taking at the time, to promote ''what if? 2''. Clicking the image took you to the [https://xkcd.com/events/ events page] of xkcd. At the time, it showed you a calendar with each planned stop on the book tour marked, covering the US and London.

The image on the right takes you to ''what if? 2'''s dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220719153239/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-19]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2647: Capri Suns]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220810034709/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2656: Scientific Field Prefixes]])}}
|{{Header text|Preorder What If? 2 (all US preorders eligible) and}} {{Header link|[https://sites.prh.com/whatif2/ enter our contest]}} {{Header text|for a chance to win a dedicated comic and What If blog post!}}[[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header contains text which promotes what if? 2, which was recently made available to preorder at that time.

Clicking the link in the text takes you to a site which allowed users to compete to have their question, along with an answer, be put in the book. While this link is now defunct, you can access an archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718171904/https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 here].

Clicking the image of the book's cover takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220201000434/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-02-01]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2575: What If? 2]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718145816/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[2646: Minkowski Space]])}}
|{{Header text|What If? 2: Additional Serious Scientific Answers to 
Absurd Hypothetical Questions comes out 9/13. 
Preorder [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ here!]}} [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text was the first header to promote ''what if? 2''. It promoted the fact that preorders were available, and that the book would come out 7 months later, on September 13th.

It also was the first of many headers promoting the book to consist of two parts, this one having some lines of text and an image of the book's cover.

This header's release coincided with multiple changes to the site, including a comic which also announced the new book and a change to the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#xkcd_links|xkcd links]] section of the site at the top-left corner. It now included links to books, and especially to this specific book.

The image of the book's cover, the link in the text, and the comic itself are all links to the book's dedicated xkcd page.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220110183238/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-10]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220131124817/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-31] {{nowrap|(during [[2574: Autoresponder]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}

[[File: Countdown in header text full animation.gif|200x200px]]
|This header text was an image, which slowly zoomed out and moved to reveal a promotion for ''What if? 2'', along with the standard header text.

In the image, there was a countdown, which began reading '''20d 22h 0m''' and ticked down every minute until only ten minutes were left. At that point, the image began shaking, and the countdown began counting seconds until it reached zero, at which point the final frame, which showed a snapshot of the book's cover, was displayed for a few minutes before the header text updated and the next comic came out.

When viewing the archives, the countdown actually still functions, and follows the internal clock of the user's computer for 59 minutes.

For a full transcript and explanation of this header, see [[Countdown in header text]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220108044654/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-08]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until 2022-01-10 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This header text was a return to the standard header text, which had not appeared as the global header since [[#2018-11-07 - Back to standard text|November 7th, 2018]], making this the longest period of time without the standard header text appearing even once.

As the [[#2022-01-10 - Standard text with countdown|countdown]] was added to it on the tenth, it was only the global header in this form for two days.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20211220211220/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-20]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2557: Immunity]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220106100957/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2564: Sunshield]])}}
|{{Header text|For anyone trying to find What If? this year, 
it's in stock at [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 Barnes & Noble], [https://m.booksamillion.com/p/What-If/Randall-Munroe/9780544272996 Books-a-Million], and [https://bookshop.org/books/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-9781483041827/9780544272996 Bookshop]}}
|This header text mentions the fact that, for anybody who wishes to purchase what if? for Christmas, it was in stock at multiple different book retailers. Each link is the corresponding store's link for ''[[What If? (book)|What If?]]''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200604003700/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-03]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2315: Eventual Consistency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20211219202204/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2556: Turing Complete]])}}
|[[File:BLM Header.png|200x200px]]
|This header promoted {{w|Black lives Matter}}, showing a single-panel comic with [[Cueball]] (possibly representing [[Randall]]), saying 'Black Lives Matter' with a grey box next to him reading '[https://www.joincampaignzero.org/ How To Help]'. However, instead of just this box being a link, the entire image is a link to joining Campaign Zero, a part of the BLM movement.

It came out shortly after the {{w|Killing of George Floyd}}, which sparked {{w|George Floyd protests|large protests in the US}} and received large amount of national and global media coverage. This header stayed for over 18 months, making this possibly the longest-staying header in xkcd history.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200602213017/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2314: Carcinization]])}}
|''(no header text)''
|This was the first time that xkcd had gone without a header, especially for an extended period of time. After the previous header was removed, no header was inserted in its place, not even the standard go-to header. It stayed empty for almost two months, until the BLM header was inserted.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-04]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2288: Collector's Edition]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}}
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This header text was only up for one day, and gives credit to those who put together the 2020 [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which had taken two extra days to release due to 'technical reasons' (see the previous header). While this header was only up for one comic, and continues as a comic-specific header, this was a global header while the April Fools' comic was on the front page.

Oddly, when this header was removed after [[2289: Scenario 4]], no header came to replace it, leading to a 2-month period where there was no global header text at all.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200402234828/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200403012612/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|{{Header text|Note: For technical reasons Wednesday's comic will be posted Thursday instead.}} 
{{Header text|Apologies for the delay!}}
|This header come directly before 2020's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]]. It apologized for the delay of the comic, stating that technical difficulties along with the overall complexity of the comic pushed its release date back one day, meaning the comic was posted on a Thursday instead of the usual Wednesday.

This comic was the first in over a year to not promote How To?, and was the first to not promote a book since [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06].

This delayed upload schedule created circumstances which made it so [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]] stayed two extra days on the front page, meaning the third comic of the week, [[2289: Scenario 4]], was uploaded [[2289:_Scenario_4#Trivia|on a Saturday]].
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122214439/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2232: Hotel Room Party]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191201191025/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2235: Group Chat Rules]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20200116190038/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200401221435/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|[[File:How To Header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the global header for two distinct stints, being interrupted by the Christmas promotion of the book. It was also the last header to promote How To, which had continuously been promoted in the global header text for over a year at that point.

It gives a quick promotion of the book in an image, followed by multiple links which take you to different websites where you can purchase the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191202223745/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2236: Is it Christmas?]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200115155040/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 2.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], 
[https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the Christmas promotion of Randall's new book, How To. Despite the fact that it was solely meant to promote the book for the Christmas season, it remained up until January 16th.

This header was very similar to the previous header, with the only changes being made to the image.

Each link in the text takes you to each brand's respective page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191106204314/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122044456/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2231: the Time Before And After Land]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 3.png|400x400px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world/id1475319694 Apple], [https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems/369279 Audiobooks], [https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/How-To-Audiobook/1473680360?qid=1574679523&sr=1-1&pf_rd_p=c6e316b8-14da-418d-8f91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=DX3EZ14M14CFQPP9GHJY&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1 Audible], [https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Randall_Munroe_How_To?id=LzSGDwAAQBAJ Google Play], and [https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9780525635680 Libro.fm]}}}}}
|This header text was used to promote How To, which had come out a couple months beforehand. As always, clicking anywhere on the image takes you to the [https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/576760/how-to/ book's page on Penguin Random House], where you could find the audio sample.

Each of the links takes you to that brand's respective page for How To. This is also the latest header text to promote any sort of audio.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191002005854/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191105164001/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 4.png]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be at New York Comic Con! 
I'm giving [https://www.newyorkcomiccon.com/Explore/Panels/Panels-And-Screenings/#/event/how-todo-anything-with-randall-munroe-creator-of-xkcd a talk on Thursday], and on Friday 
[https://smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weinersmith] and I will be hosting [https://www.caveat.nyc/event/how-to--absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems-10-4-2019 an event at Caveat NYC].}}}}}
|This Header simultaneously promotes the book How To, with each of the links in the first part of the text going to the brand's respective pages for the book, and the fact that Randall would be going to the {{w|New York Comic Con}}, a multi-day comic book fan convention.

It states that Randall would be giving a presentation that Thursday at the Comic Con, and would also be hosting an event at Caveat NYC, an event venue on the island of Manhattan.

Over the course of this header's existence, small changes were made, but nothing major enough to be granted its own row.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190930234245/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2209: Fresh Pears]])}} until 2019-10-02 ''(no archived version)'' {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 5.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This header features [[Cueball]], representing [[Randall]], commenting on how How To, the book this header was promoting, was 'tons of fun' to write, and that it can be preordered by clicking a blue link. As always, there are no HTML image maps used, meaning that clicking anywhere on the image will take you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.

Each link provided below the image takes you to each brand's page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190911053115/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190929223547/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2208: Drone Fishing]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 6.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible]}}}}}
|This Header text was used to promote the fact that How To, which had been released just a few days prior. After the header promoting the book's release date was removed, this Header took its place. The image consists of an image of the book's cover, with some decoration around it, and text beneath it. This text provides links which go to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The image also states that {{w|Serena Williams}} and {{w|Chris Hadfield}} featured in the book, which they do. Serena Williams' presence in the book is also mentioned in the [[:Category:Book promotion|promotion comic]] [[2190: Serena Versus the Drones|''Serena Versus the Drones''.]]

Serena Williams is a retired professional tennis player and former world #1 on the {{w|Women's Tennis Association}}'s rankings. u

Chris Hadfield is a retired Canadian astronaut, singer, engineer, and former Royal Canadian Air Force fighter pilot. He served on two space shuttle missions and has spent five months as the commander of the {{w|International Space Station}}.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190904051509/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[2198: Throw]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190909211737/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 7.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text celebrated the release date of How To.

The image consists of an image with two images of the book shown, with a drawing of [[Cueball]] riding two quadcopters up to change a lightbulb in a ceiling lamp, while two other characters are watching, one of whom is holding a ladder. Beneath the image are links to order to book from various sites, and clicking the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190903051503/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 8.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text was a joke which Randall performed on his viewers on How To's release date, which is tailored so that an average xkcd reader would get it. It jokes that there are two different versions of the book for two differing calendar systems. The Gregorian calendar (the calendar we use today) replaced the Julian calendar because the latter had an issue, which caused an increasing discrepancy between the actual date and the weather associated with it. The Gregorian calendar is much more accurate in terms of the solar year.

Because of this increasing discrepancy, the date shown on the Julian calendar is 13 days (now 15) behind the date shown on the Gregorian Calendar.

This header was only up for a day, and it was changed to a more normal celebration the next day.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190827082224/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-27] {{nowrap|(during [[2194: How to Send a File]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190902042108/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|My new book, How To, comes out next week!}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|Read an exclusive excerpt about transmission [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/26/how-to-send-a-file/ here].}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header simply promotes the new book How To, and the fact it was out in a week. Unlike the multiple headers promoting How To both before and after this one, it consists solely of a few lines of text. It provides links to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The second line also contains a link to one of his blog posts, which contains an excerpt from one of the chapters.

A later version of the header included these links, as well as a link to the book tour. The page now contained the winner of the book tour contest, {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}. Despite the fact that this wasn't a countdown, it stayed up until the book's release date on September 3rd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190826062701/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2193: Well-Ordering Principle]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 9.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder ''How To'': [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This image promotes a contest which allows a US reader to win a sketch of themselves in his new book, How To, which would come out that September. It also contains a number of links which go to the respective brand's dedicated page for the book.

Clicking on the image takes you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/05/win-an-xkcd-sketch/ blag post] about the event, titled ''Win an xkcd sketch''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190803222711/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 10.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This Header, like many of those which came both before and after it, promotes the new book How To, which was coming out in just under a month at the time. This image promotes said fact, with an image of the book's cover to the left of the text.

Below the image, there are four links, each taking you to the respective brand's page for the book, allowing you to preorder it.

Clicking on the image took you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/02/how-to-chapter-list-and-introduction/ blag post] titled ''How To Chapter List and Introduction'', which contained How To's table of contents and introduction.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190710165920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190714175710/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2175: Flag Interpretation]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190723205152/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190802192259/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text, like many which had come before and after it, promotes How To, a book which, at the time, would have been releasing in about 2 months. It had two distinctive stints as the header text, being interrupted by the promotion of his ComiCon appearance for about a week.

This header was the first header to include preorder links below the image, each taking you to a specific brand's page to preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190715181016/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2176: How Hacking Works]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190722192637/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Going to San Diego Comic Con this week? I'll [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/07/15/san-diego-comic-con/ see you there]!}}}}}
|This header text was a brief break from the [[How To]] promotion, instead promoting a talk which he would give at that year's San Diego Comic Con. During the Con, he gave a talk and appeared in some panels, before finally handing out signed copies of [[How To]] almost a month before its official release.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190709162102/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]
|This header was used solely to promote [[How To]], which would be coming out in 3 months at the time. It shows images of the book's cover, with miscellaneous drawings from How To scattered throughout the middle of the image, with text promoting the book. This header only stayed up for a day in this style, before adding a line of links showing where to preorder the book below the image.

Clicking on the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190625190843/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-25] {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190708155517/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-08] {{nowrap|(during [[2172: Lunar Cycles]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 12.png|500x500px]]
|This simplistic header promoted a contest which allowed for the readers of xkcd to choose a town which the How To book tour would visit. Clicking on the image takes you to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ a blag post] outlining the contest details. Using only book titles, you were instructed to create a story, with the longest sentence improving your chances of winning. The image visualized what submissions may look like, with 15 people standing side by side, each holding a book. The eventual winner of this contest was {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}.

From left to right, the characters visualized in the image are [[Megan]], [[Cueball]], a man with blonde hair, [[Jill]], [[Blondie]], two [[Hairy]]s, [[White Hat]], a kid with curly hair, [[Hairbun]], Cueball, Megan, [[Knit Cap]], [[Ponytail]], and [[Beret Guy]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190615100645/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2163: Chernobyl]]}} until 2019-06-25 {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 13.png|500x500px]]
|This header, similar to the previous one, promoted the How To book tour, which Randall would shortly be going on. The image is almost exactly the same as the previous one, with the only change being a link reading '[Click here for dates and tickets]'. While the reason for the change is not known, our best guess is that readers didn't realize that the image was a link, so Randall added this line for clarity.

The entire image, not just the blue text, is a link to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] officially announcing the book tour, with all the cities and dates which Randall would visit listed out.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190611031920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2161: An Apple a Day]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190614094729/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2162: Literary Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 14.png|500x500px]]
|This header was the first to promote the [[How To]] book tour. It showed a map of the United States with dots representing the location of each city he would be visiting, with one dot outside the map indicating the city which would be chosen by readers. The list of cities is as follows:

*September 3rd
*[[How to]]
*{{w|Seattle}}
*{{w|Portland, Oregon|Portland}}
*{{w|San Francisco}}
*{{w|Santa Cruz, California|Santa Cruz}}
*{{w|Los Angeles}}
*{{w|Salt Lake City}}
*{{w|Kansas City metropolitan area|Kansas City}}
*{{w|Ann Arbor, Michigan|Ann Arbor}}
*{{w|Cincinnati}}
*{{w|Louisville, Kentucky|Louisville}}
*{{w|Cambridge, Massachusetts|Cambridge}}
*{{w|New York City|New York}}
*{{w|Washington, D.C.|D.C.}}
*{{w|Raleigh, North Carolina|Raleigh}}
*????? (Chosen by readers)

The entire image links to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] announcing the book tour and detailing the contest used to determine the reader-chosen city.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190422030324/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2139: Email Settings]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190517103928/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190610055519/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-06-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2160: Ken Burns Theory]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 15.png|300x300px]]{{nowrap|{{Header text|{{{1|<big><big>HOW TO</big></big>

ABSURD SCIENTIFIC ANSWERS TO COMMON REAL-WORLD PROBLEMS

Available September 3, 2019.

Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}}}
|This complex header was the first to promote [[How To]]. It officially announced the book and provided links where a reader could preorder the book. It served two distinct stints, each lasting over a month, being interrupted by the promotion of the e-newsletter subscription promotion.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190423155458/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2140: Reinvent the Wheel]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190516100403/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Still mourning the demise of Google Reader? 
You can sign up to get new comics delivered by email [https://xkcd.com/newsletter/ here].}}}}}
|This header interrupted the first header to promote How To in favor of promoting a subscription service which viewers could utilize as a way to be notified when a new comic was released. It mentions {{w|Google Reader}}, a popular RSS and Atom feed aggregator which had shut down on July 1st, 2013. He advertises the newsletter almost 6 years after the shutdown, using email.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190205050302/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|After a long period of sharing space with other headers during the ongoing 2018 Midterm Elections. After election day, the standard text came back, being the sole header for almost three months before Randall's announcement of [[How To]]. After the standard header text left, it wouldn't reappear for almost three years, the longest gap between standard texts at the time.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181106122850/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2068: Election Night]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]])}}
|[[File:Election Day Header but Better.png|500x500px]]
|This header text reminded xkcd readers to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. As these were highly contested, every vote counted. It gave a reminder about the fact that if the polls close while you're in line, the government must let you vote. It also provides links which give additional information about voting, where your local polling place is, and to see what was on the ballot.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181105105855/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Find out where to vote: [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].

See what's on your ballot: [https://www.ballotready.org/ BallotReady.org]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to the previous one, only adding a line below the first, taking you to a website which shows what would be on the reader's ballot before that year's election day on November 6th. It is part of a series of header texts related to the US 2018 Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181022120935/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2061: Tectonics Game]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Check your registration and find your polling place at [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].}}}}}
|This header text reminded readers to register to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. It links to vote.org, a website which allows the user to check their registrations and contains a map of polling places near your location.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard text. It returned for just a couple months, between a reminder for readers in New York to vote and for all readers to register for the main election day during the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20180913133544/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2045: Social Media Announcement]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20180914175605/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2046: Trum-]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|NY votes today! Find your polling place [https://voterlookup.elections.ny.gov/ here]. (Zephyr Teachout for AG!)}}}}}
|This short-lived header text reminded readers who lived in New York to vote on that day, as it was the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. The text links to a New York government website which allows the viewer to see which polling place was the closest to them.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard header text, this time returning for 10 months, from during December 2017 to September 2018. It stayed during the long break between Christmas and the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20171126130857/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1920: Emoji Sports]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171130150053/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1922: Interferometry]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|To anyone looking for Christmas gifts: Until Monday you can get $5 off 
[https://www.amazon.com/What-International-Scientific-Hypothetical-Questions/dp/0544456866 What If?] and [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Thing Explainer] on Amazon with coupon code GIFTBOOK17.

At Barnes & Noble, until Sunday you can get 20% off 
[https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 What If?] and [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432 Thing Explainer] using code GIVETHANKS.}}}}}
|This header text, like many others, only lasted a few days in between long stretches of standard headers. It promoted Christmas sales of [[What If?]] and [[Thing Explainer]], as well as providing a code to use on the Barnes & Noble page for the books.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170922232616/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-09-22]] {{nowrap|(during [[1893: Thread]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171010045802/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1900: Jet Lag]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be visiting the UK next week! 
You can join me in London from September 30-October 2 
(at [https://live.newscientist.com/speakers/randall-munroe New Scientist Live], [https://www.rigb.org/whats-on/events-2017/october/public-lunchtime-talk--randall-munroe The Royal Institution], 
and [https://www.intelligencesquared.com/events/randall-munroe-on-making-complicated-stuff-simple/ Intelligence Squared]), then from October 3-6 in [https://www.stpetersyork.org.uk/public_lectures/randall_munroe_thing_explainer York], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/thing-explaining-with-randall-munroe-tickets-37832289396 Edinburgh], [https://www.toppingbooks.co.uk/events/ely/randall-murray-thing-explainer/ Cambridge and Ely], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/randall-munroe-book-signing-thing-explainer-tickets-38041072873 Oxford], and [https://www.cheltenhamfestivals.com/literature/whats-on/2017/randall-munroe/ Cheltenham].}}}}}
|This header text was a promotion for public appearances around the UK between late September and early October. Each link goes to a site where you could purchase tickets to attend his appearances. Despite the fact that all of his appearances had already ended, the promotion continued until October 9th, when the header text returned back to standard.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170731021227/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-31] {{nowrap|(during [[1869: Positive and Negative Reviews]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170804152509/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-08-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1872: Backup Batteries]])}}
|[[File:Healthcare Thanks.png]]
|This header thanked readers for their efforts to stop 'The Skinny Repeal', a bill which would have repealed the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare, in the Senate. In an unexpected twist, Republican senators John McCain, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski all voted against the bill, as well as all democrats, leading the 100-member senate to veto the bill 51-49. John McCain voted 'no' just days after a brain cancer diagnosis, leading two other Republicans to do the same, vetoing the bill.

This act had an especially large effect on Randall, as this was during his wife's Breast Cancer treatment. Had the act been passed, it is possible that they would have lost their Healthcare coverage, saddling them with very large amounts of debt which they may not have been able to pay off.

The entire image is a link, which takes you to a New York Times article showing the final results of the vote, as well as how members of each party voted.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170730141019/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]])}}
|[[File:Call the Senate.png]]
|This header came just days before a Senate vote on the 'skinny repeal' act, which would have repealed major parts of the Affordable Care Act, which would have left millions of people without healthcare coverage. He asks his readers to contact their senators and ask them to vote 'no' on the bill. He provides a phone number to call, as well as recommending readers to contact their friends in multiple Republican states, whose senators were likely to vote 'yes' on the bill, and ask them to call as well.

Randall may have been motivated to do this because, at the time, his wife was going through cancer treatment. Had this bill been passed, it is possible their healthcare coverage would have been lost, leading them to attain large amounts of debt, and possibly forcing Randall to cease making comics.

This header was up until the Senate ultimately vetoed the bill 51-49, leading Randall to change the header to a 'thank you'.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170122003124/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This long-lasting header text promoted shirts and posters which could be found at the xkcd store at the time. It maintained the sales pitch of the previous header, only removing the image promoting the shirts.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128153015/https://xkcd.com 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1765: Baby Post]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170121114423/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]])}}
|[[File:New shirts header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],

along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This header promoted a Christmas sale on merchandise which was available in the xkcd store at the time. Despite the Christmas sale ending, the header remained until January 21st. The entire image was a link to the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423103108/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128093459/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1764: XKCDE]])}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header returned for a long stint between late April and late November of 2016.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404185353/https://www.xkcd.com/#5dbfbb82-fc20-11e5-8001-42010a8e000d 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1663: Garden]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423182630/https://xkcd.com:80/1663/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|'''Protip''': If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}}}}
|This header text stayed throughout most of April. It gave tips for the [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which came out with the release of this header. The header text stayed until April 23rd, at which point it became a [[xkcd_Header_text#Garden|Comic-Specific Header]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401204749/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404054612/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|''First Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.

Please stand by!}}

''Second Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.}}

{{Header text|Status update: Please stand by.}}
{{Header text|Status update: This is fine. Everything is fine.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Everything is on fire.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Searching for calendar systems in which Saturday is April 1st.}}

''Third Version'':
{{Header text|The Friday xkcd comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties}}

{{Header text|[Editor's note: Everything is on fire] and has been delayed until Sunday night.}}
|Randall is making the best of a bad situation. Just before the release of that year's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], it experienced technical difficulties forcing Randall to delay its release. The three headers changed in rapid succession while [[1662: Jack and Jill]] was still on the front page. Randall provides status updates on the comic, which quickly devolves into chaos before returning to a sense of false normalcy. This finalized header remained until the release of [[Garden]] on April 5th.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151213194534/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401125621/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Thing Explainer is available at:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header was the final header to promote Thing Explainer, which had been continuously promoted for over 10 months at that point. It provided links to places where the book could be purchased, just in time for the Christmas season.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151212133400/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1| Thing Explainer is available at: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be in [https://web.archive.org/web/20151211002159/https://www.andersonsbookshop.com/event/naperville-reads-randall-munroe Naperville, IL] and [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205205714/https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/indigo-exclusive-randall-munroe-tickets-18694384407 Toronto, ON] (with [https://qwantz.com/ Ryan North]!) next week.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. It gave links to order [[Thing Explainer]] (which makes sense. It was December, after all.), and also promoted public appearances he would be doing with Ryan North in Naperville, Illinois and Toronto, Ontario. This header continued the trend of promoting [[Thing Explainer]], which had been continually promoted since April.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151203234149/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}}
|[[File:TE images header.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text contained a large image showcasing images from [[Thing Explainer]], as well as multiple links for where to get the book. This image holds the odd record of being the largest image to ever be put into the header text (it is resized here for space). The image gets even weirder by being a link to [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0544668251/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0544668251&linkCode=as2&tag=thekcs-20&linkId=S4XRZJJKSMHOWEQU Thing Explainer on Amazon], even though a link to buy the book on amazon was also provided beneath the image. The image was only provided for two days, before being replaced by a promotion for his public appearances with Ryan North.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124201602/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1607: Supreme Court]]}} until 2015-12-02 {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}}
|''First Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

''Second Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|I'm doing a [https://www.facebook.com/AndyWeirAuthor/ live Q&A;] at 2:30pm PT with The Martian author Andy Weir.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. For most of the time it was on the front page, it solely promoted [[Thing Explainer]], and provided links where you could purchase it. However, it was shortly changed to advertise his public appearances with Andy Weir, with the link in that text taking you to his Facebook page. The image remained between the two texts, and it was a link to an [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ old Blag post] announcing Thing Explainer. However, the promotion of the public appearance only lasted one day, and as such is not important enough overall to be split into it's own section.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151022200022/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124065108/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1608: Hoverboard]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|We've [https://slate.com/technology/2015/08/no-new-polio-in-africa-for-one-year-gates-epidemiologist-on-vaccines-and-surveillance.html almost eradicated polio]. For World Polio Day, I drew a comic}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|about the eradication efforts. You can see it on [https://www.gatesnotes.com/Health/XKCD-Marks-the-Spot Bill Gates's blog].}}}}}
_________________________________________________________________
{{Header text|{{{1|My [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ new book] of complex diagrams and simple words comes out Nov 24th.}}}}}
|This header text promoted two things simultaneously, separated by a line. The top half of the header promoted a comic which Randall drew for Bill Gates' blog, celebrating the fact that {{w|Polio}} had almost been eradicated. The other header promoted [[Thing Explainer]], a book which had just released that year. The top half of the header linked to the blog post that Randall's Polio comic had appeared in, while the bottom half linked to a [[Blag]] post announcing Thing Explainer.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150923044724/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1580: Travel Ghost]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151021164208/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|News: Announcing my Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/im-going-on-a-book-trip/ book trip]. Come say hi!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|Other news: Announcing the Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/a-thing-explainer-word-checker/ word checker] tool!}}}}}
|This simplistic header promoted two things related to [[Thing Explainer]], which had released earlier that year. It promoted the Thing Explainer book tour and a tool which can help you "Write Like Up Goer Five and Thing Explainer", also known as [https://xkcd.com/simplewriter/ Simple Writer].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150906181550/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1573: Cyberintelligence]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150919220105/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1579: Tech Loops]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thing-Explainer-Randall-Munroe/dp/1473620910 Amazon.co.uk], [https://www.waterstones.com/book/thing-explainer/9781473620919 Waterstones]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to previous headers promoting [[Thing Explainer]]. The only change which occurred between the last header and this header was the addition of a line of text containing links, where you could preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150606084120/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-06-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150807181044/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1561: Water Phase Diagram]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|In other news, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing] is delightful, 
and I feel surprisingly invested in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket's] results.}}}}}
|This header text contained two sections, each talking about separate things. The upper portion of the header maintained the same promotion of [[Thing Explainer]] from the previous header, but added a couple new lines of text outlining 'other news' in his life. The first link goes to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing], a music video parody of {{w|David Bowie|David Bowie's}} [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo Space Oddity] music video using only the 1,000 most common words, inspired by [[1133: Up Goer Five]]. Along with this, there was another link which went to [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket] on Twitter. This was a large bracket inspired by [[1529: Bracket]], in which a Twitter user simulated a full bracket with each entry from the comic. After this, it returned to simply promoting the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150515060322/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150605082643/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-06-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text, like the one that came before it, promoted the fact that preorders were open for [[Thing Explainer]], which had been announced with the previous header. The image linked to a [[Blag]] post titled ''[https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ New book: Thing Explainer]''. This header remained for just under a month before other news was added.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150514053623/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1524: Dimensions]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New book: [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ Thing Explainer!]}}}}}
|This header text announced [[Thing Explainer]], a book which uses only the 1,000 most common English words at the time to explain complicated things such as the {{w|Curiosity (rover)|Curiosity Rover}} and {{w|Washing machine|Washing machines}}. When the next comic released, the header text turned to promoting the book, including providing links where you could preorder it.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150211154103/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1485: Friendship]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150512184622/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1523: Microdrones]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header text returned for about three months, between his promotion of xkcd-themed {{w|Valentine's Day}} cards and the announcement of [[Thing Explainer]]
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150204051152/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1482: NowPlaying]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150210005540/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1484: Apollo Speeches]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]
|This header was the last of the headers to promote {{w|Valentine's Day}} that year. It promoted the Valentine's Day cards which Randall had collaborated with other webcomic artists to create, and were first announced the month before. The promotion lasted until February 10th, at which point it was nearly impossible to ship cards out to customers by Valentine's Day.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150203022036/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today is the last day to order the limited-run [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart binary heart shirt]!}}}}}
|This header solely promoted the binary heart shirt, which was in the xkcd store at the time, just before that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. The header remained up until the day after the shirts were no longer available to order.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150129183442/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150201015913/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1480: Super Bowl]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]{{nowrap|[[File:Binary shirt.png]]}}
|This header promoted both special store products that Randall had created for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. He had partnered with other artists to create custom Valentine Cards, and had created a shirt which contained a heart made out of binary. This header lasted for only a few days until the header changed to promoting the last day you could order the shirts. The image promoting the shirt was a link to a https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart page] where you could purchase it.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150128172147/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}}
|{{Header text|I've teamed up with three other webcomic artists}}
{{Header text|{{{1|to make [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://store.xkcd.com/products/webcomic-science-valentines a set of science-themed Valentine's Day cards]!}}}}}
|This short-lived header announced the fact that [[Randall]] had collaborated with 'other webcomic artists' to create Valentine's cards which could be purchased in the shop at the time. The link in the text took you to the card's page on the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150124110707/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1477: Star Wars]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150126133139/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}}
|{{Header text|For Valentine's Day, you can get a binary heart shirt}}
{{Header text|{{{1|(from {{xkcd|99|comic #99!}}) in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart a limited run on TeeSpring]}}}}}
|This header text was the first of many headers to promote the binary heart shirt which Randall released for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. Instead of being on the xkcd store like one may assume, he actually used {{w|Teespring}}, a company that allows users to create and sell custom products, as the sales platform.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141222233233/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1463: Altitude]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150123102318/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1476: Ceres]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get xkcd shirts, prints, and posters in the [https://shop.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header, like many others at the time, promoted the xkcd store, which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise. The link in the text was a link to the store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141217085320/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until 2014-12-18 {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20141219092349/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141221172450/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header.png]]
|This header served two distinct stints as a header, in between an Easter egg header that Randall had released in between them.

This header consisted of just one image, promoting the xkcd store while also reminding readers that that Friday was the last day things could be shipped by the 25th. The entire image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], not just the blue text in the image.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141218090650/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header 2.png]]
|This header was a more humorous version of the header which it both preceded and succeeded, possibly meant as an {{w|Easter egg (media)|Easter Egg}} for those who happened to visit the site at the time when it was up. It lasted only for a few hours, meaning that not many actually got to see it while it was up. It reminded the reader that, if they wished to get Christmas presents from the xkcd store, they needed to order them by that Friday in order for them to be shipped in time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141203132024/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1455: Trolley Problem]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1460: SMFW]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Store Header.png]]
|This header promoted the store during the Christmas season, with a touch of humor added in. The bobcat is a reference to [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]. The image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141129211604/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141202065133/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1454: Done]]}}
|{{Header text|Thank you for helping my friend Emily.}}
{{Header text|It means so much.}}
|Just two days after Randall posted a header text to raise money for Emily's cancer treatment, the goal was met and this header replaced the previous one for three days. This means that the thanks for meeting the goal was up for more time than the header notifying readers of the goal itself.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141127005239/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1452: Jurassic World]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128070838/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]}}
|{{Header text|Hey all. My friend Emily—the economist who helped}}
{{Header text|me with my {{xkcd|980|money chart}}—has been fighting cancer. She's}}
{{Header text|{{{1|having a rough time and could use some [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128183414/https://www.gofundme.com/e07dqk help]. Thank you.}}}}}
|This header text was meant to raise money in order to help [[Randall]]'s friend Emily fight cancer. The text linked to a GoFundMe page for Emily. Oddly, Emily did not get a permanent header as Becky did on the [[#Seven_Years|Seven Years]] comic.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141002211139/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1428: Move Fast and Break Things]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141125234520/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Bestseller.png]]
|This header consisted of an image promoting the fact that What If? Had become a New York Times bestseller, while also promoting the book at the same time. The header remained up for over a month, only being interrupted by Emily's cancer diagnosis. The image was a link to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140904150600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141001130827/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out now.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that What If?, which had released the day before this header came out, was available to order. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140902125802/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140903134518/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out Today.png]]
|This header kept the trend of simple images promoting What If?, with this one promoting the fact that the book was released that day. As this promoted only the release day, it was replaced by a more general promotion the day after. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140723180600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1398: Snake Facts]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140901113916/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]}}
|[[File:What If? Book Tour.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that Randall was going on a book tour for What If?, which was released that September. The image, like many others promoting the book, was a simple depiction of a celebrating Cueball with text to its right. The text in the image promoted the book, and asked the viewer to click on an apparent link in order to see a list of stops for the tour. However, by Randall's own admission, the entire image (not just the apparent link) was a link, as he had not figured out HTML imagemaps. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/07/22/what-if-book-tour/ a Blag post] announcing the book tour and outlining a list of stops.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140313070951/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1341: Types of Editors]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140722142115/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1397: Luke]]}}
|[[File:What If? Announcement.png]]
|This header text was the first of many to promote What If?. This first one announced the fact that Randall was publishing a book cataloging entries from his What If? blog, which had been running continuously for multiple years at that point. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/03/12/what-if-i-wrote-a-book/ a Blag post] announcing the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140109190927/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140312070248/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1340: Unique Date]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131221043417/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1306: Sigil Cycle]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140108181520/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The deadline for guaranteed Christmas shipping has passed, 
but if you order something from the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], we'll get it to you as fast as possible!}}}}}
|This header text came out just four days before Christmas, when Randall would be unable to ship items ordered from the xkcd store by Christmas. He also reminds readers that they'd ship ASAP, but they wouldn't arrive by the 25th.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131220005306/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1305: Undocumented Feature]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|For a couple weeks during early December of 2013, no header came to replace the previous Exoplanet Poster header. It is possible that there was an error with the intended header text, or that Randall simply forgot to put in a new one. This stopped when the xkcd store Christmas shipping deadline passed, and the header changed to let readers know of this fact.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1298: Exoplanet Neighborhood]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Exoplanet Neighborhood comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://store.xkcd.com/products/exoplanet-neighborhood-poster poster]!}}}}}
|Just after [[Exoplanet Neighborhoods]] came out, Randall updated the header to mention that you could get the comic as a poster in the store. This header lasted only four days, until the header turned empty.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130409170502/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131201184250/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1297: Oort Cloud]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Subways comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20130411022318/http://store-xkcd-com.myshopify.com/products/subways poster]!}}}}}
|This header, which lasted for almost exactly 100 Comics, promoted the fact that you could get [[1196: Subways]] as a poster in the xkcd store. The promotion lasted until early December, when it was replaced with a different store promotion for another comic, oddly promoting a comic poster as well.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126235628/https://xkcd.com/1138/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130311073948/https://xkcd.com:80/1183/ 2013-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1183: Rose Petals]]}}, from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130320082716/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1188: Bonding]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130401112845/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]]}}, and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403180307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1194: Stratigraphic Record]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130408184914/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}}
|[[File:xkcd Store Paper Rip.png]]
|This header holds a record for the most distinct times it appeared as the header text, appearing three separate times. The content of the header was an image showing a torn piece of paper, with the tear revealing the words 'xkcd store' below it. Clicking on the image while it was up took you to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which featured various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20130402122924/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]])}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|There were some surprise upsets in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20130402131103/http://almamater.xkcd.com/ Hash Breaking]!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|KIT [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403114751/http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv leads] (389 bits wrong), followed by Columbia (391 bits wrong).}}}}}
|This header documented the challenge given to multiple prestigious colleges in [[1193: Externalities]]. Randall had created a challenge in which multiple Alma Maters were tasked to break a 1024-bit {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} in the shortest time possible, with the college that had the least bits wrong at the end of the challenge winning. This header gave an update, stating that KIT (an Indian engineering college) in first place, with Colombia in second. He provided a link to the xkcd page where the results were being documented in real time. In the end, Carnegie Mellon University won, with 384 bits wrong of 1024.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130315162227/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1186: Bumblebees]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130318072820/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1187: Aspect Ratio]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|After the previous header letting people know that [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]] was delayed, no header came to replace it for 3 days. This is one of only three times this has happened in xkcd's history
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313133631/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1184: Circumference Formula]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313175306/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The comic will be delayed until late morning EDT.}}}}}
|This simple header, which was up for less than a day, let readers know that the next comic ([[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]) was temporarily delayed. The delayed comic was quickly released and the header was replaced, oddly, with nothing.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121024082017/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126035129/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121017232102/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1122: Electoral Precedent]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121023023404/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/ What if lightning struck while you were ...]}}}}}
|This header was the last header to promote the release of a specific entry to the What If? blog. This entry acted like a short-answer section, but only for lightning-related questions. This promotion lasted for only a few days before it was replaced with the standard header. The link in the article took you to the blog entry.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121010003837/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121016055538/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1121: Identity]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/15/ What if you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?].
|This header promoted a new release of the What If? Blog, this being Mariana Trench Explosion. The question in this entry was "What If you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?". The promotion lasted about a week before the next entry in the blog came out.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121002231724/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121008112434/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}}
|{{Header text|In this week's What-If article I [https://what-if.xkcd.com/14/ answer multiple reader questions].}}}}}
|This header text promotes the first short-answer entry of the What If? blog. It was up for a week, while it was the most recent blog entry. After that, it was replaced by a promotion for the next blog entry
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120926163111/https://xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1113: Killed in Action]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121001080517/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/ If everyone aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at once, would it change color?]}}}}}
|This header text, like many others around this time, promoted the latest entry to the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120918143653/https://www.xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120925090123/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1112: Think Logically]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|what-if.xkcd.com: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/ What if all of a storm's water fell in a single raindrop?].}}}}}
|This header promoted the latest entry into the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|12|Raindrop}}. It stayed up until the next blog entry was released.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1106: ADD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120917052827/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://what-if.xkcd.com/11/ Droppings]}}}}}
|This time, the header text promoted the new What If? blog entry, this time titled {{what if|11|Droppings}}. This header lasted until the next entry, {{what if|12|Raindrop}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120910011937/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1105: License Plate]]}}
|{{Header text|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://what-if.xkcd.com/10/ What if we slid the Earth's surface around by 90 degrees?]}}}}}
|This header was part of a long series of headers at the time, coming out each week with each new What If? blog entry. This one promoted {{what if|10|Cassini}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1101: Sketchiness]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120903051700/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/ What if everyone had a randomly-chosen soul mate?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers promoting new entries to the What If? blog every week. For this week, it promoted {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1098: Star Ratings]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120828050938/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1100: Vows]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ What if everyone got together and jumped]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ at the same time, but then realized nobody brought food?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1096: Clinically Studied Ingredient]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120821113022/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1097: A Hypochondriac's Nightmare]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|This week: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://what-if.xkcd.com/7/ Is there enough energy to move all of humanity off-planet]?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|7|Everybody Out}}. This header, however, is unique from the others promoting the blog, as this is the last header to promote the website directly.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120809045754/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1092: Michael Phelps]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120814083615/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1094: Interview]]}}
|[[File:What If? Glass header.png]]
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, for most of the week {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}} was out, Randall used an image to promote the new entry rather than the traditional text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use this format.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1091: Curiosity]]}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://what-if.xkcd.com/6/ This week]: What if a glass were actually half-empty?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, this header is unique, as it only appeared for a single day before Randall replaced it with an image promoting the same article. This header text promoted {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1089: Internal Monologue]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120805074212/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1090: Formal Languages]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/5/ This week]: How long would humans last in a robot apocalypse?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120730122025/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1088: Five Years]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/4/ This week]: What if you had a mole (unit) of moles (animals)?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}, the fourth What If? blog entry.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120718231719/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1083: Writing Styles]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120723224537/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1085: ContextBot]]}}
|[[File:Yoda What If header.png]]
|This header was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. During the week where {{what if|3|Yoda}} was the most recent post, Randall decided to promote the new entry via an image rather than the typical text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use an image rather than text.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120710114846/https://xkcd.com/1078/ 2012-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120714062857/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1081: Argument Victory]]}}
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New site: what-if.xkcd.com, where I abuse science to answer hypothetical questions. 
I'll answer a new question every Tuesday.}}}}} 
''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/ what-if.xkcd.com]: abusing science to answer hypothetical questions.}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll answer a new reader question every Tuesday.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each promoting the new What If? blog at [https://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]. 
The first version was only up for a day, and, oddly, appeared on each comic except for the front page. The website given in the text wasn't a link, which is presumably why Randall quickly changed the header into the second version. 
The second version of the text was the main version, and was up for a few days. This header does not have many changes from the previous header, only adding the link where the website was and separating the text into two lines. The website now linked to the first ever What If? blog entry, {{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}. For a time, this text also did not appear on the front page as it came out during [[1079: United Shapes]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#United_Shapes|unique header text]]. Later, this text was incorporated into this comic's text, but it was never changed back. This means, if you {{xkcd|1079|go to the comic today}}, it still contains the second version of this header.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120409190952/https://xkcd.com/1026/ 2012-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1040: Lakes and Oceans]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709004956/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
{{Header text|{{{1|You can get prints, posters, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store].}}}}}
|This simple header text combined the standard header text and the standard store promotion in one header. The link in the bottom row went to to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120405195956/https://www.xkcd.com/1021/ 2012-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1038: Fountain]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120408200414/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1039: RuBisCO]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|A return to the standard header text, if only for a few days before the store promotion was added.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120328103319/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1035: Cadbury Eggs]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120403164523/https://xkcd.com:80/1036/ 2012-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1036: Reviews]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'm [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ visiting] Newport News, VA next week, where I'll be speaking at CNU, my old school. 
If you want to come, reserve a seat [https://web.archive.org/web/20120329214411/https://www.cnu.edu/pcs/xkcd/index.asp here]!}}}}}
|This promotion linked to a trip Randall was doing to {{w|Newport News, Virginia}}, where he would be giving a talk at his old school, {{w|Christopher Newport University}}. The first link in the text went to a [[Blag]] [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ post] announcing his trip, while the second link took you to a website where you could purchase tickets (the link here goes to an archived version, as the link is no longer working).
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120312185125/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1028: Communication]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120326180811/https://xkcd.com// 2012-03-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1033: Formal Logic]]}}
|{{Header text|{{[1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120318153220/https://holistic.xkcd.com/ holistic.xkcd.com], the least useful web navigation tool ever.}}}}}
|This header text promoted a web navigation tool which Randall had developed, called the xkcd Holistic Browser. As the name implies, when you typed a web address, you would instead be taken to a web address someone else had entered. For a time, this header text overlapped with [[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#Unique_header_text|unique header text]].
|Other promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20120228183748/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120311135259/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1027: Pickup Artist]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Blag: Remember geohashing? [http://blog.xkcd.com/2012/02/27/geohashing-2/ Something pretty cool] happened Sunday.}}}}}
|This header text references geohashing, an activity which originated from [[426: Geohashing|another comic]] which Randall had published a few years earlier. Geohashing is an activity where an algorithm picks a pseudo-random point within a certain graticule each day. The people who partake in this activity (known as 'geohashers' or 'hashers') can then go to this spot, take a picture, and upload it to the [geohashing.site Geohashing wiki].

The blog post in the header text outlines a story relating to the globalhash, an extra challenge for geohashers in which just one point is chosen around the world. One day, the globalhash was within a mile of the south pole, and a geohasher reached out to personnel at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}}. Personnel at the station completed the challenge and uploaded a photo to the wiki, completing the achievement.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111219230017/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[992: Mnemonics]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|The standard header text returns once again, this time taking the place of the previous after the store was unable to ship things out in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[982: Set Theory]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[991: Phantom Menace]]}}
|[[File:2011 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{{1|shipping for Christmas}}}}}
|This header text utilized a small banner to notify readers that the xkcd store, at that point, could ship items out in time for christmas. Nothing more to say about this one.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[930: Days of the Week]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[981: Porn Folder]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110702224031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-02] {{nowrap|(during [[919: Tween Bromance]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110718225031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[926: Time Vulture]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blog post:}}}}}{{nowrap|{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Family Illness]}}}}}}}
|This header text promoted a blag post which is much more somber than most. It tells readers the context behind recent cancer-related comics. At this time, Megan, his then-fianceé (and now wife), was diagnosed with Stage III {{w|Breast cancer|Breast Cancer}}, which is extremely rare at her age of diagnosis. Obviously, the treatment and support of his fianceé took up much of his life, and he wanted to let his readers know of the ongoing situation. Despite the late diagnosis, Megan has since made a full recovery.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110520004343/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-20] {{nowrap|(during [[900: Religions]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110629072556/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-06-29] {{nowrap|(during [[918: Google+]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. Not really sure what to say here.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110512173901/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[897: Elevator Inspection]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110517072118/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[899: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]}}}}}{{Header text|!}}
|This header text is a compilation of the standard header text and an advertisement for a new blag post, this one being 'Michael Bay's Scenario'. This blog post shows Randall's characteristic geekiness, detailing the basis for one of the panels in [[748: Wo, rst-Case Scenario|an earlier comic]], being the pattern for how dams are operated when the {{w|Mississippi River}} floods.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110418155618/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-18] {{nowrap|(during [[887: Future Timeline]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110508055056/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-08] {{nowrap|(during [[898: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110405105448/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[881: Probability]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Miss XK3D? It's still up at [xk3d.xkcd.com xk3d.xkcd.com]. 
(UNIXKCD, last year's April 1st redesign, is at [uni.xkcd.com uni.xkcd.com].)}}}}}
|This header text let readers know that there was still a way to access the April Fool's xkcd redesign for that year. In 2011, the redesign used a computer program to create a 3d effect on all comics up to [[880: Headache]]. It also reminded readers of the previous year's April Fools' redesign, that being [[Unixkcd]], which gave xkcd.com an interface similar to a terminal. The upper link no longer works, and has been replaced by [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com].
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110401181154/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[880: Headache]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD is now 3D! See [http://xkcd.com/xk3d/ here] for details! 
If 3D is too much for you, consider investing in a pair of [http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/looflirpa/e8be/ these]!}}}}}
|This header text was unique to the 2011 April Fools' xkcd.com redesign. For 2011, the regesign used a computer program to convert every xkcd comic up until [[880: Headache]] to a 3d view by separating the comics into different layers. The upper link is completely broken and no longer exists. To see the xk3d interface, go to [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com]. The lower link in the header text no longer works, instead taking you to a GameStop page dedicated to action figures and other collectibles.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110320063005/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110331041143/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-31] {{nowrap|(during [[879: Lamp]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blag post: a [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/03/19/radiation-chart/ chart] comparing levels of radiation exposure.}}}}}
|{{notice|summarize the blag post here}}
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110202074533/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[855: 1999]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110318203241/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: There's a new full-text comic search box a bit down the page.}}}}}
|This header text served as a set of two 'pro tips' which Randall is providing for the readers, the second header straight to do so. While the first is the same as the previous header, the second is different. It correctly states that there is a search box in a lower section of the page, which most people would not see as it is not viewable unless you scroll down, which most won't do as they are just viewing the comic.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110122183142/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-22] {{nowrap|(during [[850: World According to Americans]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110201050436/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[854: Learning to Cook]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: Scripts can [http://xkcd.com/json.html fetch comics and metadata automatically].}}}}}
|This header text provides 'pro tips', or pieces of advice ('tips') coming from somebody more experienced with a certain subject ('pros'). In this case, the person more experienced with xkcd is Randall, the creator of the site, so it's questionable as to whether these would actually be 'pro tips'. The upper tip lets readers know about m.xkcd.com, a version of the site designed for mobile devices. Currently, it's used for older web browsers, and less so for mobile devices as technology and Randall's coding has evolved. The other tip allows readers to use a computer script to automatically fetch comics and the metadata (the technical information about each comic, such as the author and its resolution) for said comics.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101221074545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110120082139/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-20] {{nowrap|(during [[849: Complex Conjugate]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101210182242/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-10] {{nowrap|(during [[832: Tic-Tac-Toe]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101220074448/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}})
|[[File:2010 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store is now shipping for Christmas.}}
|This header text was a reminder for readers that the xkcd store could ship items in time for christmas. At the time, he was selling signed prints of many different comics, so it was important for readers to have this knowledge.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101202013145/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitudes]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101207103208/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-07] {{nowrap|(during [[831: Genetic Analysis]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can order the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text combined the regular, standard header text with a promotion for an item in the xkcd store. It was very similar to the previous, with the only difference being that instead of only being able to preorder the item, the item could be directly ordered. The item in question was a poster depicting [[802: Online Communities 2]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101015082807/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[806: Tech Support]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101201003913/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitude]]}})
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There's a poster of the [https://xkcd.com/802/ updated communities map] for preorder in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}

''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can preorder the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each having the exact same meaning but differing levels of conciseness. It let readers know that they could preorder a poster which depicted [[802: Online Communities 2]], a large comic which depicted the size of various online communities as a fantasy map. This header text debuted in October until early December, when it released just in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100717133907/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-17] {{nowrap|(during [[767: Temper]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101012070848/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-12] {{nowrap|(during [[804: Pumpkin Carving]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are t-shirts, prints, posters, and other items in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}
|This was a very standard, copy-and-paste store promotion.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[760: Moria]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[765: One Two]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text. This header was the last time that there was a prolonged gap in the archives, necessitating the 'c.' in the date field.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[740: The Tell-Tale Beat]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[756: Public Opinion]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday 
There is a [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#FlyingFerretTankTop tank top] in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple one, letting readers know that the xkcd store now contained a {{w|Sleeveless shirt|tank top}} (a shirt which does not contain sleeves) depicting the flying ferret from [[20: Ferret]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100506032819/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-06] (during [[736: Cemetery]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header text|{{{1|The {{Header link|[http://blag.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ color survey results]}} are up!}}}}}
|This header text references the color survey, which was also mentioned the previous month in a different header. The color survey was an online survey in which users were presented with a completely random color and asked to give it a name, in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive color and language.
|Other promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100427162424/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-27] (during [[732: HDTV]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100408053329/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[724: Hell]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[725: Literally]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|If you liked the unixkcd interface, you can keep using it [xkcd.com/unixkcd here]! 
My [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ survey of color names] is almost done! Want to help?}}}}}
|This was a very simple header, alerting readers to the fact that, if they enjoyed [[Unixkcd]], that year's April Fools' Day redesign, it could still be accessed. While the website in the text no longer works, it can be accessed at uni.xkcd.com. It also mentions Randall's 'survey of color names', which is a survey that Randall conducted where responders were given a completely random color and asked to name it, hoping to provide some insight into how people perceive color.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100304093951/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-03-04] {{nowrap|(during [[709: I am]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[719: Brain Worms]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints new prints] and [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints posters][http://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
I'm doing a [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ Color name survey]. Want to help?}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. The top line was a very simple copy-paste advertisement for the Store, advertising signed prints of comics. Oddly, the links behind 'new prints' and 'posters' are exactly the same and would have taken you to the same place regardless of which one you clicked. The second line was an advertisement for the xkcd color name survey, where respondents were given a random color and asked to name it in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive colors and language.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100102003314/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-01-02] {{nowrap|(during [[683: Science Montage]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100215231756/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-02-15] {{nowrap|(during [[702: Snow Tracking]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}}}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091202010210/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[669: Experiment]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091225151809/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-25] {{nowrap|(during [[680: December 25th]]}})
|[[File:2009 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store - now shipping for Christmas delivery}}
|This simple header text served the purpose of alerting readers to the fact that the xkcd store could ship in time for Christmas, if anybody wanted to buy an xkcd-themed gift for somebody. However, the last time this text was archived was on Christmas Day, far after the store could have shipped anything in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20091027132448/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091115070508/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!
|This was the final header text to promote [[xkcd: volume 0]], a compilation of some of the best xkcd comics up to that point, along with footnotes and <s>a mysterious cipher</s> other additions. This header text served two distinct stints, as it was interrupted for just a few hours on October 27th by xkcd's GeoCities memorial.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20091027014324/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-10-27] (during [[654: Nachos]])
|GeoCities is shutting down today. To commemorate this, xkcd.com has been redesigned.">{{nowrap|[[File:Broken File Icon.png|25x25px]]}}
|For just a few hours on October 27th, 2009, xkcd was redesigned to be a chaotic mess in memory of {{w|GeoCities}}, replicating a stereotypical GeoCities site. GeoCities was a free web hosting service which, due to the very low barrier of entry, was known for children and teens hosting their own sites which looked similar to the redesign. This resulted in many pieces of broken code, which is replicated in the header text. Please note that the text had effects on it which cannot be replicated here, such as the image being in place of a superscript and the text containing a marquee effect.
|???
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20090918105905/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090923040934/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|’’’First Version:’’’ 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in New York and the Bay Area.}}}}}

’’’Second Version:''' 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in the Bay Area.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, which are compiled here because the second came right after the first and told you the exact same thing. The first version let you know that [[xkcd: volume 0]], the first-ever xkcd book, had been released and could be purchased in the store when it was online. It also told you about the small book tour that Randall would be doing, with stops in New York City and the San Francisco Bay area. This version was last archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090921130537/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-21]. The second version was exactly the same, except for the fact that Randall had apparently already gone to NYC, and was now presumably on his way to the Bay Area for that stop.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090903095219/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[631: Anatomy Text]]}})
|{{Header text|Ever wanted {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?tie#xkcdtie an xkcd tie]}}?}}
|This was a very simple store promotion, stating that you could now get an xkcd-themed necktie from the store. It depicted various characters doing actions they did in previous comics they were featured in. An image of the tie is included below.

[[File:xkcd tie.jpg|150x150px]]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090801182533/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2009-08-01 {{nowrap|(during [[617: Understocked]]}})
|{{Header text|I'll be at {{Header link|[http://connecticon.org/ Connecticon]}} this weekend. 
If you're in the area, come say hi!}}
|This simple header promoted the fact that Randall was planning on travelling to Connecticon. Connecticon is an annual fan convention which dabbles in "all things Pop-culture", and it regularly hosts celebrity guests and panels. It's named such because, since its founding, it has been based in Hartford, Connecticut. Randall was one of many webcomic-creating guests who were invited, but it seems he was attending as a guest and nothing more.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-17] {{nowrap|(during [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090730084817/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[616: Lease]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are signed prints in the {{Header link|[http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350if_/http://xkcd.com:80/store/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header, being a simple combination of the standard header text and a copy-pasted store promotion. The 'signed prints' that Randall is referring to are printed-out versions of comics which were hand-signed by Randall and could be purchased in the store before it shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090313220423/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090314231453/xkcd.com/ 2009-03-14] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20081218103735/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[518: Flow Charts]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20090311133423/https://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[554: Not Enough Work]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} now has {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}.}}
|This header text was a simple, copy-paste store promotion advertising signed print-outs of comics, which could be ordered in the store before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20081216003547/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[517: Marshmallow Gun]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} (now with {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}!) is running smoothly, 
so we’ve extended the US Christmas order deadline to Tuesday.}}
|This header text was to let people know that apparently, it was not too late to order things and get them shipped in time for Christmas (with the obligatory advertisement for the signed comic print-outs, of course). This text was almost certainly up before it was archived, however, as the 'Tuesday' in question was the very day that it was added to archive.org. The wording is also a bit confusing, as it implies that either 1)they were expecting the store to NOT be running smoothly or 2)the store running smoothly at all is unexpected.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081202150349/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[511: Sleet]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20081211124445/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-11] {{nowrap|(during [[515: No One Must Know]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ Order]}} before the 12th to ensure 
US delivery before the 25th.}}
|This was the routine December header text at this point. It let readers know that there was not only new merch in the store, but also revealed the date you needed to order to have delivery guaranteed by the 25th. This date would later be extended to the 16th, but nobody knew about that at this point.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081002175315/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[483: Fiction Rule of Thumb]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081125150337/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[508: Drapes]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} XKCD updates every Monday, 
Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This rather oddly-formatted header text was a simple store promotion and standard header combo, letting people know that new merch had been added to the store. Randall was seemingly quite proud of all the new stuff that had been recently added to the shop, because the store had been advertised for over 4 straight months at this point and would continue to be promoted until 4 months later. This is the first, and seemingly only, time that the standard header text has been broken up into multiple lines.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080805184617/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[458: Regrets]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080922225907/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[479: Tones]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} New {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ shirt and skirt]}} now shipping.}}
|This was the second header in a row to promote the store. This one promoted 'new merchandise', more specifically a shirt and a skirt, which were apparently shipping at the time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080728075533/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-28] {{nowrap|(during [[455: Hats]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and skirt in the {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header. It said that there had been new releases in the store, being a shirt and, rather unexpectedly, a skirt. No clue what would have been put on a skirt, but it existed.
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080617035452/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-06-17] {{nowrap|(during [[437: SUV]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080703181835/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-03] {{nowrap|(during [[444: Macgyver Gets Lazy]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080409062908/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[408: Overqualified]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080430072916/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-30] {{nowrap|(during [[417: The Man Who Fell Sideways]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}} is back.}}
|This rather ominous header text came after the store had apparently gone away for a few months. This was one of the shortest header texts ever, coming in at just four words and 15 characters.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080321072739/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-03-21] {{nowrap|(during [[399: Travelling Salesman Problem]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD is updated every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
The [http://store.xkcd.com/ {{Header link|store] {{Header text|is back.}}}}}}
|This rather ominous header text was an announcement of the reinstatement of the xkcd store, which had apparently gone away for some time between January 16th, 2008 (the last time the store had been promoted on the header text) and March 21st, 2008 (the only time this header text was archived). I find it funny that Randall successfully made it sound like the xkcd store was a supervillain from a children's cartoon or the antagonist in a bad 1970s sci-fi movie.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080218115842/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-18] {{nowrap|(during [[385: How it Works]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
Blag: [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/aliens/ {{Header link|Aliens] {{Header text|and [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/the-laser-elevator/ {{Header link|laser elevators]{{Header text|.}}}}}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple promotion of two recent Blag posts. 'Aliens' was a short rant about how poorly we were seaching for extraterrestrial life, and a prediction that the search for alien life would ramp up 'in a decade' (which, at the time of this post going up, would have been 2018). This obviously didn't end up panning out. The other one, laser elevators, is a rant about how bad {{w|Solar sail|Solar sails}} are, and shows a solution that a recent study had come up with, where a photon could be repeatedly bounced between a solar sail and a large reflective panel to create large amounts of energy. The post then goes farther off the rails, comparing physics to sex and then creating a theory where, using a Dyson sphere and a series of lasing cavities within it, a laser could be created and aimed at a star, creating an effective method for interstellar war. The post ends with a message to the aliens: the rather brash "FUCK YOU GUYS!"
|Other promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20080116055414/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[371: Compiler Complaint]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080202114535/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[378: Real Programmers]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071212040227/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[355: Couple]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20080113050121/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-13] {{nowrap|(during [[369: Dangers]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]] 
[http://xkcd.com/store {{Header link|xkcd store]}}
|This was the traditional, annual store promotion, banner and all. However, unlike past future promotions, this header did not actually mention Christmas, it just kinda happened to be there during Christmas. It was clearly a Christmas promotion. And if that wasn't convincing enough, the actual name of the image in the header text is 'christmas_imglink'. However, 'christmas_imglink' stayed until mid-january, about 3 weeks after Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071125101002/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071209030605/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-09] {{nowrap|(during [[354: Startling]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]]
|This header was quite short-lived. It contained a single image which promoted the store. Because of this header's low uptime and the contents of the next header, it is quite possible that Randall simply forgot to include the actual link to the store, which is what the next header added.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071117155253/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-17] {{nowrap|(during [[345: 1337: Part 5]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071123133252/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-23] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]{{Header text|!}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple store promotion promoting a shirt and a hoodie, which was in the store at the time before it got shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071112104631/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-12] {{nowrap|(during [[341: 1337: Part 1
]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071116040809/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-16] {{nowrap|(during [[344: 1337: Part 4]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]}}!
There will be five comics this week, one each weekday!}}
|This header text combined the previous header text advertising the store with a notification about the 1337 Series, which was a 5-part comic series that Randall was creating at the time. Comics would release each weekday for that week, and Randall notified readers of this.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071027094704/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-27] {{nowrap|(during [[334: Wasteland]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071111214505/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-11] {{nowrap|(during [[340: Fight]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for preorder in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]}}!}}
|This was a very simple header text, advertising a new shirt and a hoodie in the xkcd store. It was only up for a few days before the 1337 series notice was added.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20071024131946/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-24] {{nowrap|(during [[333: Getting Out of Hand]]}})
|''(no header text)''
|Randall, having put up the standard header text for a bit, forgot to put up the replacement text for the second time in a month. This was very short-lived, so it didn't affect too much. Presumably, Randall was trying to replace the previous standard header with the store promotion in the next one, but forgot to put in the new one, leaving the header text blank.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|}

===2007-10-05 - The return of the standard header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071005115902/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-05] (during [[A-Minus-Minus]])
*The text also updated so that the ‘xkcd’ was all-lowercase rather than all-caps
*The text: 
xkcd updates every monday, wednesday, and friday
*Last day [https://web.archive.org/web/20071023083642/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-23] (during [[Gyroscopes]])

===2007-10-02 - NOTHING AGAIN===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071004202736/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Tapping]])
*Randall once again fully forgor.
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20071004213008/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-04] (during [[Tapping]]

===2007-10-02 - Forums3===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071002094941/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Ballmer Peak]])
*The text: 
You can use [http://forums3.xkcd.com/ forums3.xkcd.com] until DNS 
updates.
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20071003015205/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-03] (again, during [[Ballmer Peak]]), but OMG THIS IS A GUARANTEED LAST DAY FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

===2007-09-17 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070917215531/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-17] (during [[That Lovin' Feelin']])
*No text
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20070926234657/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-26], but only a 2-day gap, so that’s something! This was during [[Thighs]]

At this point, my archives began to break down. This is when it became much more tedious. Coincidentially, this is when archives became much more common, meaning that the pain didn’t stop after all.
===2007-08-09 - Reality-modifying stickers===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070809012909/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-08-09] (during [[Facebook]])
*The text: 
Reality-modifying stickers and a new shirt in the [https://xkcd.com/store store]!
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070904063904/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-04]. Next archive? The 17th!

===2007-06-10 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070610103907/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-10] (during [[With Apologies to The Who]])
*The text: 

*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070714202506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-07-14] (during [[Alone]]) Gap is between July 14th and AUGUST NINTH

===2007-06-02 - Powers of 1(0)===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070602203916/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-02] (during [[Powers of One]])
*The text: 
Background:{{w|Powers of ten|Powers of Ten}} on Wikipedia
*One archive, 8-day gap, when will this end…

===2007-05-24 - Communities map poster===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-24] (during [[Choices: Part 4]])
*The text: 
The [https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://xkcd.com/store/ Online Communities Map poster] is now shipping. 
This week, XKCD updates every weekday.
*One archive, 9-day gap

===2007-05-19 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070519162137/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-19] (during [[Certainty]])
*The text: 

*One archive, 5-day gap… sigh…. How do we even categorize these? I haven’t thought about that…

===2007-05-06 - Preorder 256 posters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-06] (during [[Code Talkers]]
*The text: 
You can preorder posters of the online communities map in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*This one line was so long that you couldn’t see the end of the word ‘store’
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070514171227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-14] (during [[Regarding Mussolini]]). 5-day gap.

===2007-05-03 - 2^8th comic===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-03] (during [[Online Communities]])
*The text: 
Hooray, the 2^8th comic! 
By popular demand: preorder a [https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster] of this map!
*Please note that we have no clue if there was any actual demand for a poster
*One archive, but no ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-24 - Back to standard text===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070324053307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-24] (during [[Blagofaire]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070406171936/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-04-06]. The next archive after this is from MAY THIRD.

===2007-03-21 - Good shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070321155442/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-21] (during [[Pet Peeve 114]])
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store].
*One archive, but only a three-day gap. No ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-16 - Sense of Security Blag===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-16] (during [[Collecting Double-Takes]]
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://blag.xkcd.com/ Lost: comic originals, sense of security.] (blag post)
*One archive, 5-day gap…. ‘’sigh’’

===2007-03-06 - Map of the internet – That you can buy!===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-06] (during [[Cat Proximity]])
*The phrases ‘new:’ are both in red
*The text: 
New: Map of the Internet [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster print] 
New: Two new shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20070314012824/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-14] (during [[Escape Artist]]) (yes, I said ended, not ‘last archived version’)

===2007-02-12 - Shirt restock===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-12] (during [[Small Talk]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://xkcd.com/store/ T-shirts] are restocked (for now) and shipping promptly!
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070227234312/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-27]. Sadly, a seven-day archive gap means we’re back to suffering.

===2007-02-10 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070210042242/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-10] (during [[Random Number]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Only one archive, but THE GAP IS ONLY TWO DAYS!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!

===2007-02-02 - New blag post===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-02] (during [[e to the pi Minus pi]])
*The text: 
New blag post: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://blag.xkcd.com/2007/01/29/washingtons-farewell-address-translated-into-the-vernacular/ Washington’s Farewell Address in everyday speech].
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070204031035/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-04] (during [[Nintendo Surgeon]]). A six-day archive gap means we once again can’t have any fun.

===2007-01-24 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070124194143/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-24] (during [[The Problem with Wikipedia]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Just one archive once again! And, once again, a long archive gap means we can’t have any fun

===2007-01-19 - He zorbed too hard :(===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-19] (during [[Brain]])
*ZORB is a company offering experiences where you roll downhill in human-sized available Hampster balls. Apparently, he's attempting to acquire one of the balls for himself, and failing.
*The text: 
I tried writing to [https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.zorb.com/ zorb] but I can’t convince them to send me one.
*Only one archive, lasted anywhere from 1-8 days

===2006-12-31 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061231002902/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-31] (during [[Hallucinations]])
*The standard header’s first appearance in its current form
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archive is [https://web.archive.org/web/20070114100227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-14] (during [[Kayak]]). This is only an approximation, as there’s a 5-day archive gap.

===2006-12-14 - Xmas Orders closed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-14] (during [[Command Line Fu]])
*The text: 
Christmas orders are closed! They will finish shipping shortly! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thecutest.info/ TheCutest]
*OH MY GOD THERE IS A 2.5 WEEK GAP

===2006-12-09 - Deadline 12/13===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061209222812/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-09] (during [[Penises]])
*The first line is in red, except for the link, which is the normal color. The second line is the normal color.
*The text: 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th. 
Supplies are limited; shirts are not guaranteed to stay in stock
*Only one archive once again! A 5-day gap in the archives mean we don’t know when it ended…or began.

===2006-12-05 - Useless shirt===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-05] (during [[Working for Google]])
*The second line of text is in red, except for the period at the end of the sentence.
*The text: 
New ‘Useless’ shirt available in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]! (Supplies limited) 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th.
*Actually, first time in a while where we really can just include that one archive, maybe with a ‘circa’ attached tho

===2006-11-29 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061129035519/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-11-29] (during [[Exercise]])
*The text: 

*Unknown end date (6-day gap), lasted only one archive

===2006-11-18 - Need submitters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-18] (during [[Wikifriends]])
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info] - Have voters, need submitters. 
(Content is user-submitted and may occasionally not be work-safe.)
*End date unknown (11-day archive gap). lasted only one archive.

===2006-11-09 - New toys===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-09] (during [[Interblag]]
*The text 
New toys: [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info]
*End date unknown again, 8-day gap in archives

===2006-10-13 - Nothing===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061013224954/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-10-13] (during [[Turn Back]])
*The text: 

*Both start and end date unknown, as there is a 2-3-week gap between archives. One archive

===2006-09-01 - IRC channel===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-09-01] (during [[Mario]])
*The website at the end of the text isn’t a link, but the words ‘xkcd irc channel’ are.
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://xkcd.com/store/ Store] has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends. 
NEWS: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?t=207 xkcd irc channel] (#xkcd on irc.foonetic.net)
*We have literally no clue about anything between September 1st and October 13th. And the one on October 13th is just nothing! Also, one archive

===2006-08-29 - BEEG shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-29] (during [[Sandwich]]
*The word ‘news’ is still in all caps, but has lost its boldness.
*The text: 
Two t-shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]! One sweet, one bitchin’. 
NEWS: Store has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends.
*Just one archive, but at least we’re only limited to a 3-day window. Don’t include ‘until unknown’ here

===2006-08-19 - Parody Week Dinosaur===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-19] (during [[Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics]])
*Sadly, this is the only archive from the entirety of parody week. We can only assume that each comic from Parody Week had a very similar header to this, but they are all lost media now.
*The text: 
Saturday is the last day to vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://xkcd.com/date/ date contest]! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://qwantz.com/ Dinosaur Comics] tribute! Regular comics return Monday.
*Only one archive. Because the header is specific to this comic (but not comic-specific - it was definitely global), we can probably say that this header left as the global header when the next comic came out.

===2006-08-12 - Next Week Parody Week===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060812105656/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-12] (during [[Delicious]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is formatted the same as last time
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ Next week is Parody Week! New comic every weekday!
*Ended sometime around [https://web.archive.org/web/20060813123244/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-13] (during [[Delicious]])

===2006-08-10 - Awesome date project===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-10] (during [[I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is in BOLD and ALL CAPS, but isn’t thicc like last time.
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/store/ Signed prints] of many comics are available! 
Don’t forget to help vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/date/ awesome date project]!
*Only one archive, and this time only two days between archives. We can only include the archive this time, not the ‘until unknown’

===2006-07-21 - BestThing.info===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-21] (during [[Fans]])
*’SISTER PROJECT’ is bold and in ALL CAPS (it’s also very thicc, which is odd. Same thickness as header link.)
*The text: 
Comic updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
SISTER PROJECT: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://bestthing.info/ BestThing.info] - decide What’s Best!
*Only one archive, but the end date is unknown as there are ~3 weeks between headers. End with ‘until Unknown’

===2006-07-20 - Video unearthed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060720090950/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-20] (during [[Julia Stiles]])
*News is once again in big and bold
*The text:
**NEWS: I've unearthed the video referenced in today's comic!
**Check the news section of the forums to watch it.
*Only one archive (this was a time of quick, very short-lived headers)

===2006-07-14 - Sunday last day===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-14] (during [[dPain over dt]])
*the word 'news' is, again, big and bold.
*The text:
**NEWS: Sunday is the last day to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]]!
*only one archive once again
===2006-07-10 - One week for tees===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-10] (during [[Red Spiders Cometh]])
*the word 'news' is '''<big>Big n' Bold</big>'''
*The text:
**NEWS: One week left to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]!
*Only one archive

===2006-07-05 - Comic 23 Tee===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-05]
*Top red line is bold
*The text:
**Get a t-shirt based on comic #23 in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]!
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060706040359/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-06] (during [[Blogofractal]])

===2006-06-16 - DYK forums===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-16] (during [[Meerkat]])
*The same format as the previous one. two lines of red text
*The text:
**T-shirts shipped out Monday morning!
**Did you know we have active [https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://forums.xkcd.com/ forums]?
*Again, only this archive

===2006-06-12 - Packaged T-shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060612221916/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-12] (during [[Computational Linguists]])
*Text is in red sans-serif
*First time t-shirts are mentioned, but the two months in between archives probably contained something forever lost to time.
*The text:
**T-shirts are packaged and shipping first thing Monday!
*Only this one archive had this header

===2006-04-08 - nothin'===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060408214700/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-04-08] (during [[Digital Rights Management]])
*Now it's in WingDings!
*The text:
**
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060428065305/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-04-28] (during [[95: The Sierpinski Penis Game]])

===2005-12-12 - Composite face images===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-12-12]
*MORE TNR!
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
**I also create [https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/morphs/ composite images of faces] (available on commission)
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060207154349/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-02-07] (during [[Super Bowl]])

===2005-11-26 - ASCG===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-26] (during [[Old Notebook]])
*More TNR
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I also run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
*Only up one archive
|-
|From c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] {{nowrap|(during [[21: Kepler]]}} until c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] {{nowrap|(during [[31: Barrel - Part 5]]}}
|{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
|This header text was a very short bio of Randall. It detailed multiple different things going on in his life.

{{w|RoboWar}} is a strategy-based video game where one must code a virtual robot to eliminate all others and be the last one standing. The game hosted regular competitions until mid-2003, at which point the player base began to die out. Evidently, RoboWar made a temporary return in 2005, which Randall was celebrating. He also provided a link to the official version of the game which supported {{w|Windows (operating system)|Windows}}.

[[Blue Eyes]] is a logic puzzle uploaded to xkcd c.2004, advertised as 'the hardest logic puzzle in the world'.
===2005-10-18 - Basic Bio===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] (during [[Kepler]])
*This was in the Times New Roman font, idk why.
*The text:
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] (During [[Barrel - Part 5]])

3227: Creation

2026-04-02T14:32:39Z

DollarStoreBa'al: another use for dark mode

{{comic
| number = 3227
| date = April 1, 2026
| title = Creation
| image = creation_2x.png
| imagesize = 567x198px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = This xkcd.com update introduces a variety of new reading modes which can be activated through the menu.
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 18
| date = April 1, 2026
| days_late =
| day_category = Wednesday
| prev_title = 3074: Push Notifications
| prev_date = April 9, 2025
| next_title =
| next_date =
}}
To experience the interactivity of the web page, visit the {{xkcd|3227|original comic}}!

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently in ROBOTIC MODE. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
In this {{w|April Fool's Day}} comic, several new viewing modes have been added to the xkcd website, accessible through a {{w|drop-down list}} beneath the comic (not visible on Explain xkcd). This allows various different viewing experiences for the entire website, including older comics. Some are "normal" viewing modes, like the typical "light" and "dark" modes, but others take such things further and/or in more esoteric ways. This includes an "airplane mode" (see below) that parodies and subverts the {{w|Airplane mode|normal implementation}}.

The accompanying comic references one of the first lines of the {{w|Bible}} (Genesis 1:3), wherein God creates light. Here, though, before God has a chance to fully appreciate their work, a person on Earth immediately requests an implementation of {{w|dark mode}}. Dark mode is a feature on many websites and devices which displays text in white against a black background instead of the default black text on a white background. In low ambient light this makes for a less intense viewing experience that is easier on the eyes, so many people who spend a lot of time looking at screens prefer dark mode. Whereas casual users often find light mode easier to read. Another benefit is, because of the primarily low brightness of the screen, less battery life is consumed, which makes it useful for those who want to be energy-efficient or extend their battery life.

This demand represents a common experience for web and app designers, who spend a lot of time creating something that looks beautiful to them, and in their particular use case, only to find when it is put out into the wild that it doesn't suit the needs of many of their actual users, who don't particularly care about the effort they've put in.

Dark mode is not usually implemented on planets (although one could argue that night-time is effectively Earth's "dark mode", which could have been created by God as a response to the person). The comic deviates somewhat from traditional Judeo-Christian mythology, as in Genesis the day/night cycle was created on the first day, but humans were created on the sixth day - thus, the "dark mode" (night-time) would already have been implemented by the time humans existed. Possibly the person is actually requesting a dark mode that can be toggled at will, rather than one which occurs automatically each day.

Unlike most comics, the title text contains no jokes, but rather explains the update and gives basic instructions.

The comic credits the "Excellent Design Team", consisting of Amber, Benjamin Staffin, and Kevin who helped create the modes.

===Table of Modes===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Mode
! Description
|-
| Light Mode
| The usual site experience. Typically, where sites have light and dark modes, light is the default option.
|-
| Lighter Mode
| The entire web page is filtered to look {{w|Exposure (photography)#Overexposure and underexposure|overexposed}}, making colors wash out and reducing the contrast.
|-
| Dark Mode
| A standard "white content on black background" dark mode. Specifically, Dark Mode seems to invert the brightness of most colors (see comic [[556:_Alternative_Energy_Revolution|556]] with dark mode enabled), but sets colors close to white to black, ignoring their original color (see comic [[2342:_Exposure_Notification|2342]] with dark mode enabled) This inversion makes the content of this particular comic, with the original transition from a dark pane to "let there be light" panes and the subsequent request for this very feature, particularly nonsensical, as it seems to start fully bright, then darken as God creates light.
|-
| Darkest Mode
| Everything on the webpage turns completely black (severely 'underexposed', in effect, the opposite to "Lighter mode" but also even more extreme). The exception being the drop down menu widget, which may appear as merely a dark gray — and depending upon the browser itself, the dropped-down menu may be its 'natural' appearance when it becomes fully active — which is of course extremely helpful for navigating back out of this mode/onward onto others.
|-
| Blurry Mode
| {{w|Blur (photographic effect)|Blurs}} the entire webpage.
|-
| Grayscale Mode
| Applies a standard {{w|grayscale}}/{{w|Colorfulness#Saturation|desaturation}} conversion filter to the entire webpage.
|-
| Greyscale Mode
| Operates identically to Grayscale Mode, but also changes the spelling of "math" in the slogan at the top of the page to "maths" (to go along with the respective {{w|American and British English spelling differences|British English}} use of ''{{wiktionary|gray}}/{{wiktionary|grey}}'').
|-
| Dorian Greyscale Mode
| Makes the webpage slowly turn grey, including darkening/fading-to-grey 'white' areas. This refers to {{w|The Picture of Dorian Gray}}, in which the titular character has a portrait that slowly ages and fades out while the character stays young and handsome.
Of note is that the surname of the titular character is "{{w|Grey (disambiguation)#People|Gray}}" (as is still common, if not dominant, in Britain), but the mode itself is named for the primary British/non-American standard English version of the word for such a hueless shade.
|-
| Space Opera Mode
| Turns the entire page into a ''{{w|Star Wars}}''-style opening scroll, which loops round until you change the mode. Scrolling the mouse scrolls up or down through the page content.
|-
| 3D Mode
| Makes the comic render in {{w|Anaglyph_3D|anaglyphic stereoscopy}}. [[Randall]] has used 3D space before for [[848|another joke comic]].
|-
| Origami Mode
| Rotates and folds various pieces of the webpage, as if it were {{w|origami}}-folded.
|-
| Ink Mode
| Recolors the webpage as if drawn in blue ink.
|-
| Spring Mode
| Gives the comic a simple physics simulation, making it slightly rotate around a horizontal axis as the page is scrolled, & giving it a springboard look, hence the name.
|-
| Antipodes Mode
| Turns the entire webpage upside down. An {{w|antipodes|antipode}} is the point on the Earth's surface directly opposite of another, but "The Antipodes" is also a term used to refer to {{w|Australia}} and {{w|New Zealand}} by inhabitants of the northern hemisphere. Note: When the comic was first published this was labeled "Southern Hemisphere Mode".
|-
| Hacker Mode
| Recolors the entire webpage in the stereotypical "green on black" coding environment color scheme often used by {{w|hacker}}s on film and TV.
|-
| Screensaver Mode
| Makes the comic float around on the webpage, bouncing as it hits the edges. Things bouncing like in the comic make a common {{w|screensaver}}, hence the name.
|-
| Modem Mode
| Slowly reveals the comic top to bottom, as if slowly loading (but [[598: Porn|only in approximation]]) the way images often used to have to be progressively rendered from a low-rate stream of image data in the days of more limited dial-up connections and also a lower-performance {{w|Internet backbone}} in general. This is accompanied by audio of the sound of a {{w|modem}} communicating over such a connection.
|-
| Stained Glass Mode
| Fills each closed area of the comic with a separate color to mimic the look of {{w|stained glass}} imagery. The colors vary each time this mode is selected or the page is reloaded in this mode, which works by flooding a single pseudorandom hue over all areas of near-white, each flood bounded only by any sufficiently dark or saturated drawn line/border.
|-
| Airplane Mode
| Makes the comic fly around on the page, with a "NYOOM!" written next to it, as if it were an {{w|airplane}}. This is unlike the usual use of "airplane mode" to refer to disabling the cellphone (or all {{w|radio frequency}}) features of a mobile device, as required on most flights. Of course, this Airplane mode is likely not required on an airplane{{cn}}.
|-
| Boat Mode
| Makes the entire webpage tilt back and forth, emulating the way a boat rolls on the water.
There is a longstanding reference to Boat Mode in the [[footnote]], which says "Remove your device from Airplane Mode and set it to Boat Mode".
|}

==Transcript==
[Panel 1. Black background with white caption boxes.]

Caption 1: And God said,

Caption 2: "Let there be light,"

[Panel 2. A bright explosion of light from a star in the center.]

Caption: And there was light.

[Panel 3. The star with bright rays of light is shown against the horizon of a planet.]

[Panel 4. The same planet horizon is shown with a clear sky above.]

Caption: God saw that the light was-

Voice from the planet: Can you add support for dark mode?

<noinclude>{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:April Fools' Day comics]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]
</noinclude>

User:DollarStoreBa'al

2026-04-02T14:21:29Z

DollarStoreBa'al: I'd say that's a good estimate

{{notice|so then I took my turn...

oh, what a thing to have done.

and it was all yellow.}}
{{notice2|Before you talk to me, I should warn you: I am kind of strange.}}
[[File:DSBlogo.png|300x300px]] 
I made a logo for myself!
==Live-Updating Stats==
*Score: {{#cscore:DollarStoreBa'al|score}}
*Pages edited: {{#cscore:DollarStoreBa'al|pages}} of {{NUMBEROFPAGES}}
*Total edits: {{#cscore:DollarStoreBa'al|changes}}
*One of {{NUMBEROFACTIVEUSERS}} active users
*Total Lives Ended: 6
*Times my user page has been vandalized: 10

==My Contributions to this wiki==
*[[Template:TNR]]
*[[Template:Header link]]
*Tables. So many tables. Not the concept of tables, I just like creating tables.
*complete0739675063043233708398 (This is code for an upcoming HUGE thing)

==Giving Thanks==

Before I introduce myself, whole bunch of thanks to [[User:FaviFake| FaviFake]] for creating my user pages for me and teaching me proper wiki etiquette. Thanks to you, I am now able to be a supportive, helpful member of this weird little niche. Huge amounts of thanks to [[User:Definitely Bill Cipher| ⯅A dream demon⯅]] for showing me how to make userboxes. Thanks to you, I can now properly convey that I'm in your walls. Finally, the greatest amount of thanks to [[User:42.book.addict|Tori]]. You are possibly the kindest and most helpful person on this entire goddamn wiki. Thanks. You guys are the best.

==What my brain trapped in a case of flesh and bone does==

I have Autism and ADHD. [[1106: ADD]] particularly resonates with me.

Hello. I am the god of fertility, weather, sailing, and war in the Hebrew Bible, but I mostly use my powers for the war thing. I also occasionally manipulate the birthrates to mess with people. (you won't believe how many penises I've drawn using birth locations) I have all the xkcd books (look, I gotta read sometimes, okay?) and have needed to get a second copy of multiple because the first ones were destroyed from use. Most of my editing efforts outside discussion pages center around adding new details that have recently been uncovered, and adding details to incomplete articles. I registered 16:17, March 10, 2024, but didn't really start using the account until around December 2024. My political views are very far left, as I want to get in their good graces. Besides, they're more mischief-makers. Belial (god of evil (yes, he's a god, not a term (yes, all gods know each other (yes, I am nesting four parentheses (I know it's bad, but no one can stop me (Would you like some fries with that?)))))) handles the right-wing. He and I have a bit of an arrangement. I handle all the unsolved mysteries, he handles everything with '-cide' at the end.

My favorite characters are beret guy and black hat. Always happy when those two show up.

I was born with the 50th revolution of the universe, and shall die many, many cycles hence. Open to conversing wherever you please, but please make sure to specify that you're from the wiki. Otherwise, I'll assume it's spam, which I get a lot.

{{Userbox | border-c = #242 | border-s = 5 | info-s = 10 | id = CATTO FACTO | info = [[User:DollarStoreBa'al|This user's cat can open doors.]] | float = left}}
{{Userbox | border-c = #033 | border-s = 5 | info-s = 10 | id = WEE WOO | info = [[User:DollarStoreBa'al|This user is in your walls.]] | float = right}}

==Actually me==
Pronouns are he/him/his/ha/ha/ha

The autism and ADHD is, indeed, a real thing. Also, GAD. Basically, my mind is a bunch of mental health-related acronyms mushed together, then scooped into a hollowed acorn squash, roasted, and topped with some butter and nutmeg. I'm a 14-year-old born in Washington D.C., lived 10 years in Maryland, living in Nebraska, and identifying as a Pacific Northwestern. I'm in the {{w|International Baccalaureate}} program at my high school. I play tennis. Warning: I do have a tendency to make mistakes, panic when I realize the mistake, and then proceed to make more mistakes in an attempt to correct the first mistake. I also have a tendency to get myself way over my head in an attempt to prove my worth (Technically, it does).

==How the universe functions==
You people are actually pretty close. When I say cycles, I mean that universes are created on the 0th cycle, starting with what you know as the big bang. Each universe lasts approximately 40 trillion human years or so before going through a 'big bounce', as you call it. (I should start using that, it's a good name). During the bounce, the universe is condensed into an area the size of a black hole before going through another big bang, repeating the process. Each universe goes through between 10,000 and 100,000 cycles before going through a big crunch. However, as your universe goes through all of these cycles, the universe we reside in will go through a big bounce, the first of 10,000 to 100,000. We, your gods, have gods. Our gods have gods. You are someone else's gods. It's slightly confusing at first, but you can handle it. For reference, you are about 20 or so Billion years through your 159th cycle. You are quite early beings, and by far the most primitive. Once you get to halfway, you get civilizations that are able to speak to their gods and even transcend universes.

==Where to find me==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Platform/Game !! Username !! Extra Info
|-
| Wikipedia || DollarStoreBaal44 || I help people on the teahouse.
|-
| Twitch || DaCatto42 || Streaming <s>very occasionally</s> NEVER
|-
| YouTube || DaCatto44 || Nothing, please stay tuned.
|-
| Roblox || DaCatto || Mostly just trains. And some cars. And buses. And lots of stuff in that general genre
|-
| Among Us || DaCatto || Rarely playing, but fun
|-
| Wart Hunter || DaCatto || I fly my planes directly into the enemy when I run out of ammo :)
|-
| Trackmania 2020 || DaCatto42 || Cars go fast!
|-
| Fortnite || DaCatto || Drop, find guns, die immediately, repeat.
|-
| Cookie Clicker || || help
|}

==Fun Facts==

Birthdate: 12/48/1812

Age: ~13.8 billion

Religion: Polytheistic

Real Name: ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

==Help! I'm a new user and I need a tutorial!==
First, please check the [[explain xkcd:Editor FAQ|Editing FAQ]]. If that didn't answer your question, ask me on my [[User talk:DollarStoreBa'al|talk page!]]

==My Likes==
*Tennis
*Youtubers: GD Colon, DougDoug, DougDoug: Lost Levels, Huggbees, Mr V's Garage, hbomberguy. I'm currently considering sparing these guys
*xkcd
*Hamilton (favorite song being 'Story of Tonight')
*Genealogy
*Politics (don't ask me about my political views. I'll give you a manifesto on accident.)
*Astronomy
*Speedrunning random games (anyone up for a game of Champion Island?)
*slowroads.io (perfect for just relaxing)

{{Userbox | border-c = #420 | border-s = 6 | info-s = 12 | id = Catfished | info = [[User:DollarStoreBa'al|k i l l t h e p h y s i c i s t s.]] | float = right}}

==Bloog==
Here is where I will post updates about stuff in my life in general.

*3/21/25 - Gonna go out for dinner to a lovely restaurant that does all wood-fired things. Excited!
*13/39/99 - finally got 1,000,000 souls eaten!
*4/04/25 - 404: Not found
*40525-alostallkeysbrokeonkeyboardinludingspaebarandthebottorowhel
*4/08/25 - Got to work fixing a bunch of What If? explanations. It's nice owning all the books and being able to consult them.
*4/11/25 - Edited explanation for new comic.
*4/14/25 - ALL THE GD PLAYERS PUT YA HANDS UP
*4/17/25 - Went through Vic's talk page because I like getting little peeks into the history of the wiki. It's wild learning that Definitely Bill Cipher was a spammer and Caliban's Creations once had so much trouble navigating the wiki that I do now. It's like looking at your parent's school pictures and thinking, 'oh yeah, they were kids too!'

Expanded my user page to include total edits and pages edited.
*4/18/25 - Added over 2,000 bytes to 3 What If? Chapters.
*4/19/25 - Who bullet-pointed the entire countdown in header text page? I just reworked the first section and removed over 1500 characters.

Complete rework of [[Countdown in header text]] done.
*4/20/25 - Smoked weed, completely reworked [[Operating Systems]]
*4/23/25 - I started a large process to conquer [[Header text]] with [[User:FaviFake | FaviFake]]. Go [[Header text/sandbox | here]] if you wish to see the tables and explanations which are currently under construction. On another note, I just realized that I've gotten almost half of my total score in the past month.
*4/27/25 - Geez, I leave for two days and I come back to 89 incomplete explanations?
*4/29/25 - Why do we not just fix all the new incomplete explanations? I'm just getting free points over here by doing almost all of them.

500 EDITS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*5/1/25 - Put the OG template on some comics, admitted my Mistakes on my talk page.
*5/12/25 (god its been a while) - Created two new templates! They are <code><nowiki>{{Trout}}</nowiki></code> and <code><nowiki>{{Whale}}</nowiki></code>
*6/14/25 - Don't worry, I'm not dead. I am simply on summer break. Feel free to reach out via email at henryufortytwo@gmail.com. I'll be back to this lovely little rabbit hole ~August 12th. Cheers!
*8/6/25 - IM BACK BITCHEZZZZZZZZZZ. Left a comment on 3123, expanded the explanation to 3123, and responded to a rather rude IP on my talk page.
*8/7/25 - Uploaded 50 images for 1079. Helped [[User:Aprilfoolsupdate!]] make templates. Also, I've done more edits in 2 days than FaviFake has done in a week. Bro's lacking.

I've done so many things today it's hard to keep track. Over 100 edits, one day. Almost as much as Elon tweets.
*8/18/25 - I haven't been updating this. Silly me. I did some more minor edits, expanded the explanation on 3129, and helped Aprilfoolsupdate! again. I like helping people :) Also, the number of incomplete explanations is going down rather quickly. Good, we kinda fell behind after 3000.

One more thing. I'm almost at 276 points, which would put me on the top 50 all time scoreboard! Take that, [[User:IronyChef]]!
*8/20/25 - Three more score and I'm 50th all time. Me Excite.
*8/22/25 - 49TH ON THE ALL-TIME SCOREBOARD!!!!! MR. GAMEZONE DOESN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO THE SOUL-EATER YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*8/25/25 - I'm 48th now! Hooray for numbers going up (well, down, I suppose)!
*8/26/25 - created [[User:User:User:User:User:User/Mr. Beast is trying to aquire my bones]]. I made sure literally nobody is going to be bothered by this. Unlike DSBContribs.

I created <nowiki>{{DGAF}}</nowiki>, inspired by [[User:42.book.addict]]'s log.

September edit: People were VERY bothered by this...

Excuse me, but as I am 47th place, I must end another life. Also, 42.book.addict is back! Yay! (she's a really good editor and it's an honor to be working with her)
*8/27/25 - I am now, officially, 46th place. Moving up in the world! The only way for my experience on this wiki to get better is if Jeff returned as well... *cough cough*.... Jeff, that's your cue, man.

Wait, FaviFake has made four changes in the past week. FOUR. Don't tell me FaviFake left too...

Update: I have officially usurped Jeff. I've been around for...around 18 months at this point? JEFF WE NEED YOU

One last thing for today. I am, quite possibly, one of the stupidest people alive.'
*8/27/25 - Phew. Okay. Focus. ALWAYS convene with Kynde or Tori before I create a page or template. Get some work on What If? Chapters done. Did Randall decide not to answer? Fine. I'll answer it myself. I want that bitch off the incomplete pages list once and for all.

It's time for the new Soul-Eater.

I demand a rematch.

Okay, that sounded ''way'' cooler in my head.

319 score! That's my birthday! That's one of the best things I've seen all day (the bar's incredibly low, but c'mon!)

*8/29/25 - 1K EDITS! And also, now I'm in 44th place :)
*9/5/25- It's been quite a while since I've updated this. I've been active, doing things for What If Chapters mostly. I made some redirect pages to it because it's a wild one to type with the italics. I also made [[User:DollarStoreBa'al/WORKPAGE]] for some longer projects I'm working on/ will be working on in the future. I'm trying to finish that table so the wiki can be done with it and move on. Uhhhhhhhh yeah. Then maybe I'll do some work summarizing the custom header texts on [[Header text]], and get back into that project. Actually, I might do that a bit sooner. 42 and I proposed an idea for a custom user-based signature template, which would bypass the 255 character sig limit without the wikitext showing up. It was struck down immediately due to high server load issues. You win some, you lose some.

I started doing some competitions for my HS tennis team. So far, we're 1-1 overall, but I've won all 4 matches I've played so far. So that's a plus! 92 and 82 continue to do great work, and FaviFake has returned! Yay! Other than that, nothing much to report. I'll try to update this more often so you guys don't get these text walls.\
*9/15/25 - I missed celebrating 333 score :( Today is the worst day ever :((((( Nah I'm kidding, I've been taking a bit of a hiatus for school, but I'll try to get back into the swing of things.
*9/17/25 - I think I'm a bit ''too'' into the swing of things. The WORKPAGE is coming along nicely. Don't look! It's a surprise!
*9/18/25 - Expect WORKPAGE surprise to be done in 1-2 weeks. Sorry, it's VERY big.

I found out how to use dark mode! Sadly, it gets a negative review from me. Most links on pages are NOT blue, but instead white, and there are bars of white in random places. It does look good in some areas, but the cons outweigh the pros. 2 out of 5 stars. Sorry NQH, you tried your best.

Wait! I found a better dark mode! Copy the text from [[User:DollarStoreBa'al/common.css|this page!]]
*9/19/25 - I'm 40th place now, meaning I missed celebrating 42nd. I shall never celebrate being the answer to life, the universe, and everything for a short period of time. I'll be here for a while, over 20 score until I'm in the 30s.
*9/28/25 - I am in '''''way''''' over my head. But I'm over halfway. The sunk-cost fallacy is kicking in now. I can't wait until this is over...
*10/1/25 - I got stung by a bee today. First time in my life. I'm not allergic (thank the big bang) but that doesn't change the fact that it hurts like hell. damn that shit hurt.
*10/3/25 - I created <nowiki>{{what if? chapters}}</nowiki> as a way to edit both pages using the chapters table at the same time. I know it seems weird, but I believe it is much more convenient than pasting the explanations between pages, especially with the lag the wiki experiences today.
*10/8/25 - Made lots of progress on the WORKPAGE. Added more to the to-do list on that page. (don't look!) I've shaved off many bytes, so I'm hoping the bot doesn't decide to auto-revert my incredibly productive edit.
*10/15/25 - OH GOD THERE'S MORE STUFF! I HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THE ARCHVIES NOW. CRAP.

I think I've nerd sniped myself.

Welp, at least I've uploaded all the necessary images, right?

RIGHT?

10/29 Update: wrong :)

*10/29/25 - Oh God I just realized I've been referring to 42 by the WRONG PRONOUNS THIS ENTIRE TIME. (sorry). I'll try to remember she/they in the future.
*10/31/25 - Happy Spooky Day to all! I just want to thank everybody on this wiki for letting me into this beautiful little community. Extra special thanks to [[User:Kynde|Kynde]] for persevering through being the only active admin, [[User:42.book.addict|42]] for being possibly the most helpful person in this community, [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] for being so dedicated to this wiki, and to the 82 IP for enforcing wiki etiquette and skillfully explaining anything that comes his way.
*11/4/25 - WORKPAGE project currently on hold while I go through literally every single archive of xkcd ever made. Oh, how naive i was when I began that. Also, I'm contemplating creating a table mapping out all the blag posts.
*11/14/25 - I need to remember to update this... Well, the WORKPAGE project is still on hold (I'm only able to look at the archives on the weekends), but I've been dipping my toes into other things for the almighty time being. Today, I stopped some brainrotted vandals who were probably at school while doing it. They replaced a bunch of pages with immature sex jokes and replacing comic pages with the words 'six seven'. ''Sigh....''
*11/17/25 - Remember that brainrotted vandal I reverted? Yeah, they vandalized my user page. Thank you to the 82 IP for reverting that, btw. It's nice to know that I'm being noticed :)
*11/18/25 - The brainrotted vandal temporarily came back again! Keep it up, it's very entertaining and you'll be reverted anyway.
*11/19/25 - HE CAME BACK. This time, he supplied a link. I'll see where it goes, considering the fact that I'm on a school chromebook and that literally nothing works on school chromebooks... 
Edit: It goes to a lesson plan on chromosomal abnormalities for the first year of secondary school. That's the closest to not being vandalism he's come so far! Good job :)
*11/20/25 - He came back, and got worse. This is starting to get annoying, but it's still entertaining :) 
Also, he regressed back to cock-and-ball jokes
*11/21/25 - He never came back... sadge.
*12/02/25 - I'm back 
Also, the brainrotted vandal came back! According to him, I've been vandalized 67 times. Very cool. He also somehow knew to vandalize when I'm on a Thanksgiving break. 
And he came back again! Happy Holidays, Mr. Vandal!
*12/03/25 - I have no mouth and I must <nowiki>[[Category:Helper comic images]]</nowiki> 
The past two days, I've averaged over 1k edits per day. I'm now 8th on the all-time leaderboard (undeservedly). Current images categorizing; The frames of Time. There are a lot of frames of Time. Also, I've quintupled my score.
*12/04/25 - Apparently, I'm now #2 on the all-time leaderboards, only behind Davidy. And I might soon pass Davidy... I don't deserve this. I'm not the second-best editor. I don't even think I break top 20. Jeff, please remove minor edits from the scores. At the very least, just make a separate leaderboard.
*12/05/25 - I don't know what to do with the rest of the images, and I honestly don't care. I know I'll probably just immediately mess up, so I'll leave 42 to do those.
*12/13/25 - Taking temporary hiatus for finals and Christmas. May edit WORKPAGE occasionally.
*12/15/25 -
*1/21/26 - Hey look, the numbers changed. Wikipedia is 25. Fun fact: I enjoy it when vandalism is unique. I don't like 'crappers' or scam marketing tactics, but I enjoy it when a user whose name is 'crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap' replaces all the text with 'feces'. I have a good chuckle while I delete those. Btw, don't try to do that, it's already been done.
*1/28/26 - 42 came back briefly today. 
*1/30/26 - CAN WE HAVE ONE FUCKING DAY WHERE WE DONT HAVE A SUDDEN MEDICAL EMERGENCY?????????
*2/2/26 - New signature for Black History Month!
*2/4/26 - This is one of those 'I'll go to bed because I'm sick of being conscious' days.
*2/5/26 - WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO LIVE IN THIS FUCKING WORLD
 
*2/10/26 - Oh look. In my business class, we're doing stocks. I found the investopedia stock simulator. I am now playing the investopedia stock simulator a lot. 
Raise a glass to freedom.... something they can never take away, no matter what they tell you.
*2/11/26 - Walkout at school today as an anti-ICE protest. MELT THEM! CAST THEM INTO THE FIRES OF MOUNT DOOM!
*2/12/26 - I am the Alexander Hamilton of this wiki. 
I feel like somebody is going to complain when I'm done with this project because I broke some random rule which I didn't know about and was never told to me. 
Holy shit I'm in the news!!!
*2/23/26 - Holy shit. I just realized that I am the person who has edited the most pages on this wiki. Cool, I guess.
==To-do List==
High-priority:
*'''''Figure out how to be useful'''''
*Finish the WORKPAGE project (currently ~75% done)
*'''''<big><big>get my family to move to Canada</big></big>'''''

Low-priority:
*Get the last of the What If? Chapters done. Show the wiki that I am worthy.

==User Subpages==
*[[User:DollarStoreBa'al/SigSandbox]]
*[[User:DollarStoreBa'al/Sorry]]
*[[User:DollarStoreBa'al/common.css]]
*[[User:DollarStoreBa'al/Mistakes]]

==Current Sig==
--'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] (BLM)

User:DollarStoreBa'al/WORKPAGE

2026-04-02T14:12:07Z

DollarStoreBa'al:

<big><big><big>IF YOU AREN'T DOLLARSTOREBA'AL, LEAVE NOW! IT'S A SURPRISE!!!</big></big></big>

<big><big><big><big>I MEAN IT!</big></big></big></big>

{{notice|<big><big><big><big>REMEMBER: ALWAYS PUT ON THE MOTIVATIONAL PLAYLIST BEFORE WORKING</big></big></big></big>}}
{{notice2|<big><big><big><big>ADD MORE SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST</big></big></big></big>}}
==Header Texts==
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" |Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
!Purpose
|-
|Find Archive (3074)
[[3074: Push Notifications]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was created with [http://github.com/cotrone {{Header link|Kevin Controne]}}, [https://chromakode.com {{Header link|Max Goodhart]}}, [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ {{Header link|Patrick]}}, [https://github.com/benley {{Header link|Benjamin Staffin]}}, [http://burningcandle.io/ {{Header link|Conor Stokes]}}, and [https://github.com/ayust {{Header link|Amber]}}.}}}}}
|This comic's header text gives credit to those who helped Randall create 2025's April Fools' Day comic. Each link takes you to the person's social media page, GitHub page, or personal website. At the time of writing (October 2025), this is the only comic to have a unique header text past comic #3000, meaning it's been over half a year since a comic has had a unique header.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-07-11]
[[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic accidentally inspired by 
[https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ {{Header link|this Buttersafe comic] {{Header text|from 2011!}}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions that it was 'accidentally inspired' by [https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ a Buttersafe comic]. It is assumed, but not confirmed, that the custom text was on the front page until the next comic, [[2958]], was published. The header text makes it clear that not only is he a fan of Buttersafe (as shown in the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics I enjoy]] section of [xkcd.com]), but he also did not know of the existence of this comic until after it was published. This is shown with the fact that [https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ it was not shown until the next day]. This text is permanently shown with this comic. As a special situation, this header text did not replace the current global header text, but was instead added below it at the time ([[#2024-05-15_-_Special_10th_anniversary_edition_of_WHAT_IF.3F|10th anniversary for what if?]])
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240406163326/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-04-06]
[[2916: Machine]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://github.com/spyhi Ed White], [https://twitter.com/uh_oh_thats_bad Alex Garcia], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], 
[http://burningcandle.io/ Conor & Ami Stokes], [https://liranuna.com/ Liran Nuna], [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick], 
[https://manishearth.github.io/ Manish Goregaokar],

[https://github.com/benley Benjamin Staffin], [https://github.com/ayust Amber], and [https://github.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg] with physics by [https://rapier.rs/ Rapier].}}
| This comic's header text mentions the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Saturday 6 April 2024 until [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] came out on Monday 8 April 2024. The earliest archived version of the next comic is from the following Tuesday [http://web.archive.org/web/20240409060444/https://xkcd.com/ 9 April 2024]. It is assumed that the header text changed late on Monday 8 April 2024, despite the fact that Machine was still up at that time, as shown in [https://web.archive.org/web/20240408225854/https://xkcd.com/ this archive]. When [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] was released, the front page had returned to the normal header.

As seen in the text, many people were involved. Some helped with two previous [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comics]], but there are many more involved in this comic than anything which came before it. Clicking on each person takes you to a link of their Instagram, Twitter, or the homepage of their own website/blog. In the credits, it is seen that the physics for the comic used Rapier, the Fast 2D and 3D physics engine for the {{w|Rust (programming language)| Rust programming language}}. This header text was removed from the homepage on [https://web.archive.org/web/20240409010518/https://xkcd.com/2916/ 2022-04-09], but it stayed as a permanent header for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20]
[[2765: Escape Speed]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was put together with help from [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick Clapp], 
[https://amberyu.st/ Amber], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], and [https://www.aiweirdness.com/ Janelle Shane].}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put the comic together. Despite the fact the comic was supposed to be a Wednesday release according to the archives, it was on the homepage from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20] until Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230421082400/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-21], when the next comic ([[2766: Helium Reserve]]) was released and the page returned to its normal header. This header text remains as a permanent header text for this comic.

Clicking each name takes you to their Instagram/Twitter page or the homepage of their own website/blog. Most had helped with the two previous April Fools' day comic (see below).
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|FIND ARCHIVE HERE}}
[[2729: Planet Killer Comet Margarita]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was drawn for Daniel Becker, based on 
[https://what-if.xkcd.com/162/ his winning question] submitted to the [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2 What If? 2 contest].
|This header celebrated the winner of Randall's What If? 2 Contest, being one Daniel Becker. It mentions that the comic was based off the winning question's entry into the What If? blog.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01]
[[2601: Instructions]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with 
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/chromakode @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], 
[https://twitter.com/xDirtyPunkx Conor], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01] until Tuesday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220405031003/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-05], when [[2602: Linguistics]] came out and the front page returned to its normal header.

Clicking on each of the names takes you to the person's Instagram/Twitter page. Five also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header was only related to 2601, it was removed from the frontpage header, but it stayed up as a permanent header on this specific comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01]
[[2445: Checkbox]]
|{{Header text|This comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], 
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], and [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped put it together. It was on the front page from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01] until [[2446: Spike Proteins]] released Monday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210405130031/http://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-05].

Each person has a link to their name, the first being a personal homepage, and the other six linking to their Twitter accounts. Five of these people also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header is related only to this comic, it was removed from the front page and continued as a permanent header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 2020-04-04]
[[2288: Collector's Edition]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was only on the front page for about 1 day, around the 3rd or [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 4th of April] 2020, the day before [[2289: Scenario 4]] came out, and the header text returned to normal.

Each name credited has either a personal homepage or a Twitter profile, except for the last name, which isn't linked.

As this header text was only relevant to this comic, it was removed as the front page header and stayed as a permanent header to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20171214171157/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-12-14]
[[1928: Seven Years]]
|{{Header text| Becky Beaton, sister of fellow cartoonist Kate Beaton, 
has also been diagnosed with cancer.

You can support her treatment [https://www.youcaring.com/beckybeaton-1008390 here].}}
|This text was released as a response to the cancer diagnosis of Becky Beaton, the sister of {{w|Kate Beaton}}, the author of the webcomic [http://www.harkavagrant.com/ Hark! A Vagrant]. Although this is not on Randall's list of ''[[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics he enjoys]]'', he is clearly influenced by a cancer diagnosis among someone in his creative field.

Despite the fact that the support page was discontinued, this text continues to stay on this comic. Making this weirder is the fact that Randall has previously done something similar for another friend, Emily, but [[#2014-11-27_-_Help_Emily|that header]] was not made permanent.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES WOOO!!}}
[[1975: Right Click]]
|{{Header text|A number of people collaborated to build this comic, including 
[https://chromakode.com/ @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/aiiane/ Amber] [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest/ @fadinginterest] 
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501/ Kat], [https://twitter.com/cotrone/ Kevin], and [https://90d.ca/ Stereo].
|This comic gave credit to the people that helped Randall put together that year's April Fools' Day comic. Most contributors mentioned in this text have also helped with other comics since then. Each link in the text took you to either the contributors' social media page or their own personal website.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20170428041338/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-04-28]
[[1830: ISS Solar Transit 2]]
|{{Header text|Previously:}} {{Header link|[[1828: ISS Solar Transit|ISS Solar Transit]]}}
|This header links back to [[1828: ISS Solar Transit]], a comic with the same joke setup released on the Monday of the same week
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES!}}
[[1738: Moon Shapes]]
|{{Header text|Thank you to Phil Plait for the correction on #4!}}
|This header gives credit to Phil Plait, who corrected a mistake in the comic and prompted Randall to update the comic after its release.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161010215516/http://xkcd.com/1723/ 2016-10-10]
[[1723: Meteorite Identification]]
|{{Header text|Note: Jolyon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], made a similar chart way before me!}}
|This Header text gives credit to Joylon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], who made a very similar comic to this long before Randall. This Header text is permanently attached to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160512102325/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-05-12]
[[1679: Substitutions 3]]
|{{notice|FInd the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This comic was the third installment of the ''Substitutions'' series. As he did the same with [[#Substitutions 2|the second]], the header text is very similar.

This header text is a permanent staple of this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161231231600/http://xkcd.com/1663/ 2016-04-04]
[[1663: Garden]]
|{{Header text|Protip: If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it. 
You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}
|This comic had a header text to help people use the comic when it came out. It was the global header text for some time, before it disappeared from the main header and remained as the header for Garden.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160104171722/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-01-04]
[[1625: Substitutions 2]]
|{{notice|Find the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This header text was used as a link to the previous installment of the ''substitutions'' series. When [[xkcd_Header_text#Substitutions_3|Substitutions 3]], Randall made a separate header text linking to Substitutions 1 and 2. It was on the main page while the comic was up, and continues as a header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|[F]AR[T]CHIVES}}
[[1446: Landing]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|A big thank-you to [https://www.planetary.org/blogs/emily-lakdawalla/ Emily Lakdawalla] for help and advice on this comic.}}}}}
|This header gives credit to Emily Lakdawalla, who helped Randall create the comic, which was a live comic-based recreation of the landing of Philae, a probe designed by the ESA to land on Comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. It is assumed that Emily was the reason that Randall was able to get current information about the landing so quickly.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|{{notice|notice|notice|notice|}}
[[1127: Congress]]
|{{Header text|You can get this comic as a [https://store.xkcd.com/products/congress-poster poster]!
|This header text is the only one to be a permanent header text promoting the store. At the time of writing (November 2025), the store is offline, meaning that this link doesn't work. This is the most recent comic-specific header text to promote the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-07-09]
[[1079: United Shapes]]
|{{Header text|There's a larger version of this map 
[http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ here] (Colorado is [http://xkcd.com/1079/colorado/ here]). 
It's also available as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#StateMap poster].}}
|This header was only on July 9th, 2012, the day this comic came out. The day after, every page except the front page displayed [[xkcd_Header_text#2012-07-10_-_New:_what-if.xkcd.com|a different header]].

On the 13th of July, other pages had a new version of the header above. Later, 1079 gained a special combined header text, removing the part about Colorado and consolidating the unique header text into a single sentence. The new global header text, promoting the first installment of the What if? blog, was inserted below the unique text, creating a very unique combination header. Possibly due to a bug, the What if? announcement remains on the comic to this day, despite the fact that it was a normal global header, which changed for all other pages many years ago.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|Put me down as 'not excited'}}
[[1052: Every Major's Terrible]]
|{{Header text|Cool--someone's already taken a crack at [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1VhsNOwPU/ singing this]!
|This header text promoted an attempt at someone singing the comic, which was a parody of the {{w|Major-General's Song}}. It links to a YouTube video of the attempt. As seen from the text, this header was not up with the release of the comic, but instead came out later.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120425220409/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-25]
[[1047: Approximations]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Lots of emails mention the physicist favorite, 1 year = pi x 107 seconds. 
75^4 is a hair more accurate, but it's hard to top 3,141,592's elegance.}}}}}
|This comic has a permanent header text stating that many people emailed Randall about a separate approximation for the amount of seconds in a year. However, because the earliest archive already shows this text, it is unlikely that Randall actually received these emails before changing the text.

This header text was unique to this comic from the start, as other comics contained the global header text at the time of 1047's release date.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120401151639/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-01]
[[1037: Umwelt]]
|{{Header text|You can get posters, prints, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store].}}
|This comic's header text promotes the xkcd store permanently. Despite the fact that the comic was on the front page, this was a comic-exclusive header from the very beginning, as other comics had the global header text on 1037's release date.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120319130702/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-19]
[[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]]
|{{Header text|A helpful reader has provided an [https://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 s/keyboard/leopard/ user script].}}
|In response to the joke of this comic, a reader created a browser extension that replaces each instance of the word 'keyboard' with the word 'leopard'. Randall appears to have gotten this script before its official release, as it was already on the header on the day the comic was released. While the link does not go anywhere useful any longer, an archived version of the link can be accessed [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321174019/http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 here].

When [[1032: Networking]] came out on [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321205835/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-03-21], the header text had returned to how it was before.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111229043804/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-12-29]
[[996: Making Things Difficult]]
|{{Header text|Some context for the cancer comics: 
[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/]}}
|This header text links to Randall's [[Blag]], providing context for the recent comics relating to cancer. Around that time, his then-fiancee was diagnosed with Stage three Breast Cancer, which resulted in more emotional comics relating to cancer, leaving many readers confused.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120404110059/http://xkcd.com:80/980 2012-04-04]
[[980: Money]]
|{{Header text|This one was fun (and exhausting) to make. 
There's a poster of it in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/money-poster store]!}}
|This header text links to the store page for this comic, containing a large poster of the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111115231643/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-11-15]
[[977: Map Projections]]
|{{Header text|It turns out Monday was Steve Waterman's birthday. 
His [https://web.archive.org/web/20111118003418/http://www.watermanpolyhedron.com/ site] has posters of his map, 
plus maybe the world's only Winkel Tripel-critiquing poetry.}}
|This header text mentions the birthday of Steve Waterman, and links to the homepage of his website.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA, THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!}}
[[931: Lanes]]
|{{Header text|[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Some context].}}
|This header text gave context to the comic, which was in relation to cancer. At that point, Randall's wife was battling {{w|Breast cancer}}, so cancer was a major part of Randall's life at that point in time.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|HO-HO, HEE-HEE, HA-HA}}
[[920: YouTube Parties]]
|{{Header text|Oops! It seems I [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/07/04/oops/ wasn't the first one] to do this joke.}}
|This header text, which is very similar to the header text for [[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]], admits that Randall was accidentally inspired by a different comic which had done the same joke earlier. The link in the text took you to a blag post admitting to the accidental plagiarism.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|weer}}
[[896: Marie Curie]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic might be familiar to a few dozen of you. :) 
P.S. [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a message to those who 'might be familar' with the comic. The second was to promote a new Blag post, titled ''Michael Bay's Scenario''.
|
|-
|{{notice|Boneless Chicken}}
[[870: Advertising]]
|{{Header text|Note: This comic's filename was originally 'advertising.png'. If you 
couldn't see it, that was just your AdBlock zealously protecting you.}}}
|This header text let readers know about an issue with the comic not showing up that some users were experiencing. The comic was, apparently, being shown by displaying a PNG of the comic, which people's AdBlockers were mistaking for an advertisement, preventing the comic from appearing.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|8,866,550}}
[[865: Nanobots]]
|{{Header text|xkcd.com now has IPv6 connectivity. If [https://test-ipv6.com/ you] can't reach it, you or your 
ISP have [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPv6_brokenness_and_DNS_whitelisting/ misconfigured equipment]. Sadly, I now have no way to tell you.}}
|This comic's header lets readers know that xkcd supports IPv6 (Internet Protocol Version Six) connectivity, which assigns each device with an IP address and increases the amount of possible IP addresses to over 900 Undecillion. It also tells readers that if they are unable to access that connectivity, either they or their ISP haven't configured their equipment correctly. However, Randall admits he has no way to tell readers which end has the issue.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|2011-01-04
[[851: Na]]
|{{Header text|I can't ''believe'' I forgot Hey Jude. 
I don't get do-overs, but I couldn't resist making [https://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/ a fixed version].}}
|This header text appeared after Randall made this comic, consisting of songs known for repeating the lyric 'na'. After realizing he forgot 'Hey Jude' by {{w|The Beatles}}, he made a separate version of the comic with 'Hey Jude' included. See more in the comic's [[851:_Na#Trivia|trivia section]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|Neenannerneenannerneenannerneenanner}}
[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://www.smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weiner]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the last one before returning to normal. This header lets leaders know about who contributed to the comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Zach Weinersmith}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|choking on your alibis}}
[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://overcompensating.com/ Jeffrey Rowland]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the fourth one of five. It lets the readers know who contributed and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}}, author of the webcomic [https://www.wigucomics.com/oc/index.php?/ Overcompensating].
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|But it's just the price I pay!}}
[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://foxtrot.com Bill Amend]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the third one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Bill Amend}}, author of the webcomic {{w|FoxTrot}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|not nice}}
[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [http://www.buttercupfestival.com David Troupes]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the second one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was David Troupes, author of the webcomic {{w|Buttercup Festival}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|eciton}}
[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://questionablecontent.net Jeph Jacques]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was to let readers know of Guest Week, this comic being the first of five guest comics. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeph Jacques}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Questionable Content}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|meweeeeeeewrr}}
[[802: Online Communities 2]]
|{{Header text|Full view [https://xkcd.com/802_large/ here], poster [https://store.xkcd.com/products/online-communities-poster here]. Note: While I was working on this, 
Ethan Bloch posted [https://web.archive.org/web/20120111133638/https://www.flowtown.com/blog/the-2010-social-networking-map his own update] of my {{xkcd|256|my 2007 map}}. Check it out, too!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a larger version of the comic and also promote its poster, which could be found in the xkcd store before it was shut down. The second is to promote the fact that one Ethan Bloch had created his own update of {{xkcd|256|comic 256}}. The link above now takes you to an archive link as the original site is now defunct.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20100514072436/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-12]
[[739: Malamanteau]]
|{{Header text| At Wikipedia's request, I release this comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This comic's header text mentions that this specific comic is released under a Creative Commons 3.0 license. The link in the header text goes to the page regarding the Attribution Share-Alike 3.0 United States (CC BY-SA 3.0 US) license. Normally, xkcd is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 (CC BY-NC 2.5) license.

This comic's header didn't appear until between 2 and 4 months after it was published, with the earliest archive with the custom header text being from [https://web.archive.org/web/20100913003146/http://xkcd.com/739/ September 13th].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|ow}}
[[681: Gravity Wells]]
|{{Header text|Click on the comic to view the full-size version}}
|This simple header text lets readers know that, if they want a full-size version, they can click on the comic to access it.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|whuiae}}
[[657: Movie Narrative Charts]]
|{{Header text|This comic is also available as a poster [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters/products/movie-narrative-charts-poster here]! 
Click on today's comic to view the full-size version!}}
|This header text served two purposes. The first was to promote the fact that the comic could be acquired as a poster in the store before it was shut down. The second purpose was to let readers know that, if they wanted a larger version of the comic, they could access it by clicking on the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|archive find}}
[[645: RPS]]
|{{Header text|Comic today's you confuses [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_Polish_notation here] click if.}}
|This header text was a parody of the comic, being written in {{w|Reverse Polish notation}}. In normal notation, it would be read as 'Click here if today's comic confuses you', with the word 'here' linking to the Wikipedia page for Reverse Polish notation.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard}}
[[580: The Race: Part 4]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the last comic in the series and was released on a Thursday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 2}}
[[579: The Race: Part 3]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the third comic in the series, and was released on the normal release date of Wednesday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 3}}
[[578: The Race: Part 2]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the second installment in the series, being released on a Tuesday. This comic was also where the '(through Friday)' portion of the header got added. It's possible that people got confused and assumed that Randall would release 7 comics over 7 days, when he would actually be only releasing comics every day until Friday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 4}}
[[577: The Race: Part 1]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day.}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the first installment in the series, and was released on a Monday
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Those is great pants!}}
[[563: Fermirotica]]
|{{Header text|There are xkcd prints available in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
[https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=sqrt(2%2F(pi*18000%2F(mi^2)*80%2Fyear*30+minutes) Example Google sex calculation]
|This header served two purposes. It promoted the fact that you could get xkcd prints in the xkcd store before it was shut down, and also gave an example of the content shown in the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20081014232952/http://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-13]
[[488: Steal This Comic]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Note: the [https://www.amazon.com/MP3-Music-Download/b?ie=UTF8&node=163856011 Amazon.com MP3 store] sells DRM-free music. Kudos.}}}}}
|This comic and header text was made as a complaint of Digital Rights Management, or {{w|DRM}}. The header text makes a proclamation that the Amazon MP3 store sells DRM-free music, telling his readers how to acquire music not affected by DRM.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|You're doing it again}}
[[482: Height]]
|{{Header text|This comic is available as [https://store.xkcd.com/products/height-poster a poster print].}}
|This simple header served the purpose of advertising the fact that you could get this comic as a poster in the xkcd store, before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-05]
[[472: House of Pancakes|472: House of Pancakes]]
|{{Header text|(Today's comic is a parody of [https://www.amazon.com/House-Leaves-Mark-Z-Danielewski/dp/0375703764 House of Leaves].)}}
|When this comic was the newest, it was shown on the front page of xkcd, as seen here the day after release on [https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-06]. However, this header was only on this comic, and the normal header returned to the front page after comic 473 was released.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|the right ones}}
[[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
See: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0 Original Discovery Channel video]
|This header text serves to let the reader know of a video which they could watch, which contains the song that the comic is a parody of.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|where is my Spanish rn}}
[[433: Journal 5]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the final one in the series.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Before the nouns}}
[[432: Journal 4]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the fourth one in the series of five.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|This is let's write}}
[[426: Geohashing]]
|{{Header text|What is this about? See the [https://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/ wiki].}}
|This header text allowed the reader to do further research on the topic by linking to the official xkcd wiki, which was part of the long-defunct [[Forums]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|We will ever run out?}}
[[405: Journal 3]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|377|Journal 2}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series. Unlike the other installments of the Journal series, this text linked to the previous installment rather than the first installment.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Es el diablo}]
[[343: 1337: Part 3]]
|{{Header text|For use on Wikipedia, I release this particular 
comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This header text served the purpose of letting readers know that Randall had specially released this comic under a CC BY-SA 3.0 license, allowing for the image to be uploaded to {{w|Wikipedia}}. Normally, Randall normally releases his comics under a CC BY-NC 2.5 license, which, at the time, was not allowed to be uploaded to Wikipedia.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|}

{| class="sortable wikitable"
! Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" style=max-width:4em |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" | Purpose
|-
|From[https://web.archive.org/web/20260107215729/https://xkcd.com/3190/ 2026-01-07] {{nowrap|(during [[3190: Tensegrity]])}} until present.
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. This was the first change in the header text in over a year, and the first time the header text went to the standard text after almost exactly 4 straight years of book promotions.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241205201038/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[3020: Infinite Armada Chess]])}} until FIND
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]— 
revised and annotated with brand-new illustrations 
and answers to important questions you never thought to ask—Out now. 
Order it [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this text and the previous global header text is the final hyphen. The first link goes to the page for the new what if? book on xkcd, with the other link going to the Harper Collins (the publisher) page for the book. This header was up for over a year, except for the one month when Randall [[#2024-10-16 - Promotion of Kamala Harris for president|endorsed Harris]] for president. This makes it the longest time that ever that the header text has been left unchanged.

Because the previous header texts as well as the [[Countdown in header text|Header text countdown]] all promoted some sort of what if? book, the header has been continuously used to promote what if? for nearly 4 years at the time of writing.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241116184702/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-11-16] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241204160618/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-04] {{nowrap|(during [[3019: Advent Calendar Advent Calendar]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this header text and the next one was that during this time period, only preorders were available.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241017002108/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2999: Bad Map Projection: The United Stralia]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241115181146/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2024-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}}
|[[File:xkcd homepage strip harris for president.png|400x400px]]
|This header text was Randall's official endorsement of {{w|Kamala Harris}} for President during the {{w|2024 United States presidential election}}. He also posted the same image on his[https://x.com/xkcd/status/1853098106667114801 Twitter (formally X)] account and on his [https://bsky.app/profile/xkcd.com/post/3la2jku6ace2f Bluesky] account on November 3rd, two days before the election.

This text was up until November 11th, after the election had taken place and {{w|Donald Trump}} was declared the winner.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240515200351/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2933: Elementary Physics Paths]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241015192147/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2998: Ravioli-Shaped Objects]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|This text promotes the preorder of the 10th anniversary edition of the original what if? book. The first link goes to the page for the book on xkcd and the other link goes to the book's Harper Collins page (Harper Collins is the book's publisher). The same text was displayed after Randall's endorsement of Kamala Harris for president.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240320173158/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[2909: Moon Landing Mission Profiles]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240514034349/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2932: Driving PSA]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is on YouTube! The first video answers 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed Hubble at Earth?]” Follow the 
[https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif What If?] channel to be notified about new videos.}}}}}
|This header promotes the new what if? {{w|YouTube}} channel, in which Randall narrates a post on the what if? blog. At this point, the global header text had been promoting what if? for over two years.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20231129184009/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2861: X Value]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240319134138/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2908: Moon Armor Index]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is now on YouTube! 
Check out the first video for the answer to 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?]” 
and follow [https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif xkcd’s What If? The Video Series channel] to be notified about each new video.}}}}}
|This header promotes the what if? YouTube channel, narrated by Randall. The first link goes to the what if? page on xkcd, and the other two go to the new YouTube channel. A small change occurred [https://web.archive.org/web/20240314113602/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-14], where the first two lines became one line, making the alignment worse. This new version only lasted five days before a change was made, replacing it with a different, although very similar, header text.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230831200321/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-31]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2822: *@gmail.com]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20231128174224/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[2860: Decay Modes]])}}
|{{Header text| What if? 2 is [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/#UK now available] in paperback in the UK!}}
|This header text promotes the paperback version of what if? 2, notifying readers that it was available in the UK. The link goes to the page on xkcd about the what if? 2 book, and directing to the UK order link, where there was now an option to order a paperback copy.

An image was placed above the text, showing the front cover of the new book. Because this was not specifically related to what if? 2, it ended a streak of over 22 months where the header text was constantly promoting the book since the [[#2022-01-10_-_Standard_text_with_countdown|countdown]] began in January 2022.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230217185629/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2739: Data Quality]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230830064414/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2821: Path Minimization]])}}
|[[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|300x300px]]
|This header has no text, only an image of the front cover of the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220923182825/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-23]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230216181705/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2738: Omniknot]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 bestseller.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header consists of two images, with the one promoting the NYT bestseller list on the left.

This header somewhat obviously celebrates the fact that what if? 2, shortly after release, had claimed a spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913142432/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2672: What If? 2 Flowchart]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220922150042/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 out now.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header announces the release of Randall's what if? 2 book.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the book's page on the xkcd website.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-12]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913134002/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2671: Rotation]])}}
|[[File:one day till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to what had come out just two days before, which instead displayed an image showing 3 days.

The {{w|Les Miserables}} song mentioned is ''One Day More'', which is a fitting title for a song stuck in his head.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the xkcd page for ''what if? 2''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220911102450/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until 2022-09-12 (during [[2670: Interruption]])
|[[File:3 days till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to the header showing one week. which came out 4 days beforehand, and the header showing one day, which came out just one day after this header released.

Each image is a link, both taking you to the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220907211736/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]

From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220910024549/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}}
|[[File:1 week till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the third straight header to feature a two-image design, where the countdown was on the left and the book's cover was on the right.

It promoted the soon-to-be-released ''what if? 2'' book, which had been heavily promoted for nearly two weeks up to that point.

Each image is a link, which takes you the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220811055445/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-11]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2657: Complex Vowels]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220816124823/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20220827232205/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-27]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2664: Cloud Swirls]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220906191403/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}}
|[[File:Preorder what if? 2 header.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text, which advertised the fact that preorders were open for ''what if? 2'', was the global header text for two different stints. Instead of this being the global header from August 11th until September 6th, it was interrupted for 9 days while Randall's book tour was ongoing.

The image to the left was a link, which took you to a [https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 what if? 2 contest]. In this contest, one contestant's question would be answered by Randall and included in the book.

The image to the right takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220817161136/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220826202043/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2663: Tetherball Configurations]])}}
|[[File:what if? 2 book tour.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the first header of several to consist of two distinct images, and the third straight to contain the image of the book's cover after the countdown ended.

It promotes a book tour that Randall was taking at the time, to promote ''what if? 2''. Clicking the image took you to the [https://xkcd.com/events/ events page] of xkcd. At the time, it showed you a calendar with each planned stop on the book tour marked, covering the US and London.

The image on the right takes you to ''what if? 2'''s dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220719153239/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-19]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2647: Capri Suns]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220810034709/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2656: Scientific Field Prefixes]])}}
|{{Header text|Preorder What If? 2 (all US preorders eligible) and}} {{Header link|[https://sites.prh.com/whatif2/ enter our contest]}} {{Header text|for a chance to win a dedicated comic and What If blog post!}}[[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header contains text which promotes what if? 2, which was recently made available to preorder at that time.

Clicking the link in the text takes you to a site which allowed users to compete to have their question, along with an answer, be put in the book. While this link is now defunct, you can access an archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718171904/https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 here].

Clicking the image of the book's cover takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220201000434/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-02-01]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2575: What If? 2]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718145816/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[2646: Minkowski Space]])}}
|{{Header text|What If? 2: Additional Serious Scientific Answers to 
Absurd Hypothetical Questions comes out 9/13. 
Preorder [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ here!]}} [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text was the first header to promote ''what if? 2''. It promoted the fact that preorders were available, and that the book would come out 7 months later, on September 13th.

It also was the first of many headers promoting the book to consist of two parts, this one having some lines of text and an image of the book's cover.

This header's release coincided with multiple changes to the site, including a comic which also announced the new book and a change to the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#xkcd_links|xkcd links]] section of the site at the top-left corner. It now included links to books, and especially to this specific book.

The image of the book's cover, the link in the text, and the comic itself are all links to the book's dedicated xkcd page.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220110183238/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-10]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220131124817/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-31] {{nowrap|(during [[2574: Autoresponder]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}

[[File: Countdown in header text full animation.gif|200x200px]]
|This header text was an image, which slowly zoomed out and moved to reveal a promotion for ''What if? 2'', along with the standard header text.

In the image, there was a countdown, which began reading '''20d 22h 0m''' and ticked down every minute until only ten minutes were left. At that point, the image began shaking, and the countdown began counting seconds until it reached zero, at which point the final frame, which showed a snapshot of the book's cover, was displayed for a few minutes before the header text updated and the next comic came out.

When viewing the archives, the countdown actually still functions, and follows the internal clock of the user's computer for 59 minutes.

For a full transcript and explanation of this header, see [[Countdown in header text]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220108044654/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-08]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until 2022-01-10 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This header text was a return to the standard header text, which had not appeared as the global header since [[#2018-11-07 - Back to standard text|November 7th, 2018]], making this the longest period of time without the standard header text appearing even once.

As the [[#2022-01-10 - Standard text with countdown|countdown]] was added to it on the tenth, it was only the global header in this form for two days.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20211220211220/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-20]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2557: Immunity]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220106100957/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2564: Sunshield]])}}
|{{Header text|For anyone trying to find What If? this year, 
it's in stock at [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 Barnes & Noble], [https://m.booksamillion.com/p/What-If/Randall-Munroe/9780544272996 Books-a-Million], and [https://bookshop.org/books/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-9781483041827/9780544272996 Bookshop]}}
|This header text mentions the fact that, for anybody who wishes to purchase what if? for Christmas, it was in stock at multiple different book retailers. Each link is the corresponding store's link for ''[[What If? (book)|What If?]]''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200604003700/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-03]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2315: Eventual Consistency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20211219202204/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2556: Turing Complete]])}}
|[[File:BLM Header.png|200x200px]]
|This header promoted {{w|Black lives Matter}}, showing a single-panel comic with [[Cueball]] (possibly representing [[Randall]]), saying 'Black Lives Matter' with a grey box next to him reading '[https://www.joincampaignzero.org/ How To Help]'. However, instead of just this box being a link, the entire image is a link to joining Campaign Zero, a part of the BLM movement.

It came out shortly after the {{w|Killing of George Floyd}}, which sparked {{w|George Floyd protests|large protests in the US}} and received large amount of national and global media coverage. This header stayed for over 18 months, making this possibly the longest-staying header in xkcd history.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200602213017/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2314: Carcinization]])}}
|''(no header text)''
|This was the first time that xkcd had gone without a header, especially for an extended period of time. After the previous header was removed, no header was inserted in its place, not even the standard go-to header. It stayed empty for almost two months, until the BLM header was inserted.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-04]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2288: Collector's Edition]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}}
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This header text was only up for one day, and gives credit to those who put together the 2020 [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which had taken two extra days to release due to 'technical reasons' (see the previous header). While this header was only up for one comic, and continues as a comic-specific header, this was a global header while the April Fools' comic was on the front page.

Oddly, when this header was removed after [[2289: Scenario 4]], no header came to replace it, leading to a 2-month period where there was no global header text at all.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200402234828/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200403012612/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|{{Header text|Note: For technical reasons Wednesday's comic will be posted Thursday instead.}} 
{{Header text|Apologies for the delay!}}
|This header come directly before 2020's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]]. It apologized for the delay of the comic, stating that technical difficulties along with the overall complexity of the comic pushed its release date back one day, meaning the comic was posted on a Thursday instead of the usual Wednesday.

This comic was the first in over a year to not promote How To?, and was the first to not promote a book since [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06].

This delayed upload schedule created circumstances which made it so [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]] stayed two extra days on the front page, meaning the third comic of the week, [[2289: Scenario 4]], was uploaded [[2289:_Scenario_4#Trivia|on a Saturday]].
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122214439/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2232: Hotel Room Party]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191201191025/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2235: Group Chat Rules]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20200116190038/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200401221435/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|[[File:How To Header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the global header for two distinct stints, being interrupted by the Christmas promotion of the book. It was also the last header to promote How To, which had continuously been promoted in the global header text for over a year at that point.

It gives a quick promotion of the book in an image, followed by multiple links which take you to different websites where you can purchase the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191202223745/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2236: Is it Christmas?]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200115155040/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 2.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], 
[https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the Christmas promotion of Randall's new book, How To. Despite the fact that it was solely meant to promote the book for the Christmas season, it remained up until January 16th.

This header was very similar to the previous header, with the only changes being made to the image.

Each link in the text takes you to each brand's respective page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191106204314/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122044456/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2231: the Time Before And After Land]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 3.png|400x400px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world/id1475319694 Apple], [https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems/369279 Audiobooks], [https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/How-To-Audiobook/1473680360?qid=1574679523&sr=1-1&pf_rd_p=c6e316b8-14da-418d-8f91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=DX3EZ14M14CFQPP9GHJY&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1 Audible], [https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Randall_Munroe_How_To?id=LzSGDwAAQBAJ Google Play], and [https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9780525635680 Libro.fm]}}}}}
|This header text was used to promote How To, which had come out a couple months beforehand. As always, clicking anywhere on the image takes you to the [https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/576760/how-to/ book's page on Penguin Random House], where you could find the audio sample.

Each of the links takes you to that brand's respective page for How To. This is also the latest header text to promote any sort of audio.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191002005854/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191105164001/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 4.png]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be at New York Comic Con! 
I'm giving [https://www.newyorkcomiccon.com/Explore/Panels/Panels-And-Screenings/#/event/how-todo-anything-with-randall-munroe-creator-of-xkcd a talk on Thursday], and on Friday 
[https://smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weinersmith] and I will be hosting [https://www.caveat.nyc/event/how-to--absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems-10-4-2019 an event at Caveat NYC].}}}}}
|This Header simultaneously promotes the book How To, with each of the links in the first part of the text going to the brand's respective pages for the book, and the fact that Randall would be going to the {{w|New York Comic Con}}, a multi-day comic book fan convention.

It states that Randall would be giving a presentation that Thursday at the Comic Con, and would also be hosting an event at Caveat NYC, an event venue on the island of Manhattan.

Over the course of this header's existence, small changes were made, but nothing major enough to be granted its own row.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190930234245/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2209: Fresh Pears]])}} until 2019-10-02 ''(no archived version)'' {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 5.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This header features [[Cueball]], representing [[Randall]], commenting on how How To, the book this header was promoting, was 'tons of fun' to write, and that it can be preordered by clicking a blue link. As always, there are no HTML image maps used, meaning that clicking anywhere on the image will take you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.

Each link provided below the image takes you to each brand's page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190911053115/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190929223547/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2208: Drone Fishing]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 6.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible]}}}}}
|This Header text was used to promote the fact that How To, which had been released just a few days prior. After the header promoting the book's release date was removed, this Header took its place. The image consists of an image of the book's cover, with some decoration around it, and text beneath it. This text provides links which go to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The image also states that {{w|Serena Williams}} and {{w|Chris Hadfield}} featured in the book, which they do. Serena Williams' presence in the book is also mentioned in the [[:Category:Book promotion|promotion comic]] [[2190: Serena Versus the Drones|''Serena Versus the Drones''.]]

Serena Williams is a retired professional tennis player and former world #1 on the {{w|Women's Tennis Association}}'s rankings. u

Chris Hadfield is a retired Canadian astronaut, singer, engineer, and former Royal Canadian Air Force fighter pilot. He served on two space shuttle missions and has spent five months as the commander of the {{w|International Space Station}}.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190904051509/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[2198: Throw]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190909211737/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 7.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text celebrated the release date of How To.

The image consists of an image with two images of the book shown, with a drawing of [[Cueball]] riding two quadcopters up to change a lightbulb in a ceiling lamp, while two other characters are watching, one of whom is holding a ladder. Beneath the image are links to order to book from various sites, and clicking the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190903051503/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 8.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text was a joke which Randall performed on his viewers on How To's release date, which is tailored so that an average xkcd reader would get it. It jokes that there are two different versions of the book for two differing calendar systems. The Gregorian calendar (the calendar we use today) replaced the Julian calendar because the latter had an issue, which caused an increasing discrepancy between the actual date and the weather associated with it. The Gregorian calendar is much more accurate in terms of the solar year.

Because of this increasing discrepancy, the date shown on the Julian calendar is 13 days (now 15) behind the date shown on the Gregorian Calendar.

This header was only up for a day, and it was changed to a more normal celebration the next day.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190827082224/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-27] {{nowrap|(during [[2194: How to Send a File]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190902042108/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|My new book, How To, comes out next week!}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|Read an exclusive excerpt about transmission [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/26/how-to-send-a-file/ here].}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header simply promotes the new book How To, and the fact it was out in a week. Unlike the multiple headers promoting How To both before and after this one, it consists solely of a few lines of text. It provides links to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The second line also contains a link to one of his blog posts, which contains an excerpt from one of the chapters.

A later version of the header included these links, as well as a link to the book tour. The page now contained the winner of the book tour contest, {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}. Despite the fact that this wasn't a countdown, it stayed up until the book's release date on September 3rd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190826062701/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2193: Well-Ordering Principle]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 9.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder ''How To'': [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This image promotes a contest which allows a US reader to win a sketch of themselves in his new book, How To, which would come out that September. It also contains a number of links which go to the respective brand's dedicated page for the book.

Clicking on the image takes you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/05/win-an-xkcd-sketch/ blag post] about the event, titled ''Win an xkcd sketch''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190803222711/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 10.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This Header, like many of those which came both before and after it, promotes the new book How To, which was coming out in just under a month at the time. This image promotes said fact, with an image of the book's cover to the left of the text.

Below the image, there are four links, each taking you to the respective brand's page for the book, allowing you to preorder it.

Clicking on the image took you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/02/how-to-chapter-list-and-introduction/ blag post] titled ''How To Chapter List and Introduction'', which contained How To's table of contents and introduction.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190710165920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190714175710/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2175: Flag Interpretation]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190723205152/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190802192259/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text, like many which had come before and after it, promotes How To, a book which, at the time, would have been releasing in about 2 months. It had two distinctive stints as the header text, being interrupted by the promotion of his ComiCon appearance for about a week.

This header was the first header to include preorder links below the image, each taking you to a specific brand's page to preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190715181016/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2176: How Hacking Works]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190722192637/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Going to San Diego Comic Con this week? I'll [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/07/15/san-diego-comic-con/ see you there]!}}}}}
|This header text was a brief break from the [[How To]] promotion, instead promoting a talk which he would give at that year's San Diego Comic Con. During the Con, he gave a talk and appeared in some panels, before finally handing out signed copies of [[How To]] almost a month before its official release.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190709162102/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]
|This header was used solely to promote [[How To]], which would be coming out in 3 months at the time. It shows images of the book's cover, with miscellaneous drawings from How To scattered throughout the middle of the image, with text promoting the book. This header only stayed up for a day in this style, before adding a line of links showing where to preorder the book below the image.

Clicking on the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190625190843/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-25] {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190708155517/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-08] {{nowrap|(during [[2172: Lunar Cycles]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 12.png|500x500px]]
|This simplistic header promoted a contest which allowed for the readers of xkcd to choose a town which the How To book tour would visit. Clicking on the image takes you to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ a blag post] outlining the contest details. Using only book titles, you were instructed to create a story, with the longest sentence improving your chances of winning. The image visualized what submissions may look like, with 15 people standing side by side, each holding a book. The eventual winner of this contest was {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}.

From left to right, the characters visualized in the image are [[Megan]], [[Cueball]], a man with blonde hair, [[Jill]], [[Blondie]], two [[Hairy]]s, [[White Hat]], a kid with curly hair, [[Hairbun]], Cueball, Megan, [[Knit Cap]], [[Ponytail]], and [[Beret Guy]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190615100645/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2163: Chernobyl]]}} until 2019-06-25 {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 13.png|500x500px]]
|This header, similar to the previous one, promoted the How To book tour, which Randall would shortly be going on. The image is almost exactly the same as the previous one, with the only change being a link reading '[Click here for dates and tickets]'. While the reason for the change is not known, our best guess is that readers didn't realize that the image was a link, so Randall added this line for clarity.

The entire image, not just the blue text, is a link to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] officially announcing the book tour, with all the cities and dates which Randall would visit listed out.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190611031920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2161: An Apple a Day]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190614094729/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2162: Literary Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 14.png|500x500px]]
|This header was the first to promote the [[How To]] book tour. It showed a map of the United States with dots representing the location of each city he would be visiting, with one dot outside the map indicating the city which would be chosen by readers. The list of cities is as follows:

*September 3rd
*[[How to]]
*{{w|Seattle}}
*{{w|Portland, Oregon|Portland}}
*{{w|San Francisco}}
*{{w|Santa Cruz, California|Santa Cruz}}
*{{w|Los Angeles}}
*{{w|Salt Lake City}}
*{{w|Kansas City metropolitan area|Kansas City}}
*{{w|Ann Arbor, Michigan|Ann Arbor}}
*{{w|Cincinnati}}
*{{w|Louisville, Kentucky|Louisville}}
*{{w|Cambridge, Massachusetts|Cambridge}}
*{{w|New York City|New York}}
*{{w|Washington, D.C.|D.C.}}
*{{w|Raleigh, North Carolina|Raleigh}}
*????? (Chosen by readers)

The entire image links to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] announcing the book tour and detailing the contest used to determine the reader-chosen city.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190422030324/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2139: Email Settings]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190517103928/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190610055519/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-06-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2160: Ken Burns Theory]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 15.png|300x300px]]{{nowrap|{{Header text|{{{1|<big><big>HOW TO</big></big>

ABSURD SCIENTIFIC ANSWERS TO COMMON REAL-WORLD PROBLEMS

Available September 3, 2019.

Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}}}
|This complex header was the first to promote [[How To]]. It officially announced the book and provided links where a reader could preorder the book. It served two distinct stints, each lasting over a month, being interrupted by the promotion of the e-newsletter subscription promotion.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190423155458/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2140: Reinvent the Wheel]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190516100403/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Still mourning the demise of Google Reader? 
You can sign up to get new comics delivered by email [https://xkcd.com/newsletter/ here].}}}}}
|This header interrupted the first header to promote How To in favor of promoting a subscription service which viewers could utilize as a way to be notified when a new comic was released. It mentions {{w|Google Reader}}, a popular RSS and Atom feed aggregator which had shut down on July 1st, 2013. He advertises the newsletter almost 6 years after the shutdown, using email.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190205050302/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|After a long period of sharing space with other headers during the ongoing 2018 Midterm Elections. After election day, the standard text came back, being the sole header for almost three months before Randall's announcement of [[How To]]. After the standard header text left, it wouldn't reappear for almost three years, the longest gap between standard texts at the time.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181106122850/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2068: Election Night]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]])}}
|[[File:Election Day Header but Better.png|500x500px]]
|This header text reminded xkcd readers to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. As these were highly contested, every vote counted. It gave a reminder about the fact that if the polls close while you're in line, the government must let you vote. It also provides links which give additional information about voting, where your local polling place is, and to see what was on the ballot.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181105105855/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Find out where to vote: [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].

See what's on your ballot: [https://www.ballotready.org/ BallotReady.org]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to the previous one, only adding a line below the first, taking you to a website which shows what would be on the reader's ballot before that year's election day on November 6th. It is part of a series of header texts related to the US 2018 Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181022120935/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2061: Tectonics Game]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Check your registration and find your polling place at [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].}}}}}
|This header text reminded readers to register to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. It links to vote.org, a website which allows the user to check their registrations and contains a map of polling places near your location.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard text. It returned for just a couple months, between a reminder for readers in New York to vote and for all readers to register for the main election day during the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20180913133544/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2045: Social Media Announcement]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20180914175605/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2046: Trum-]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|NY votes today! Find your polling place [https://voterlookup.elections.ny.gov/ here]. (Zephyr Teachout for AG!)}}}}}
|This short-lived header text reminded readers who lived in New York to vote on that day, as it was the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. The text links to a New York government website which allows the viewer to see which polling place was the closest to them.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard header text, this time returning for 10 months, from during December 2017 to September 2018. It stayed during the long break between Christmas and the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20171126130857/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1920: Emoji Sports]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171130150053/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1922: Interferometry]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|To anyone looking for Christmas gifts: Until Monday you can get $5 off 
[https://www.amazon.com/What-International-Scientific-Hypothetical-Questions/dp/0544456866 What If?] and [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Thing Explainer] on Amazon with coupon code GIFTBOOK17.

At Barnes & Noble, until Sunday you can get 20% off 
[https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 What If?] and [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432 Thing Explainer] using code GIVETHANKS.}}}}}
|This header text, like many others, only lasted a few days in between long stretches of standard headers. It promoted Christmas sales of [[What If?]] and [[Thing Explainer]], as well as providing a code to use on the Barnes & Noble page for the books.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170922232616/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-09-22]] {{nowrap|(during [[1893: Thread]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171010045802/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1900: Jet Lag]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be visiting the UK next week! 
You can join me in London from September 30-October 2 
(at [https://live.newscientist.com/speakers/randall-munroe New Scientist Live], [https://www.rigb.org/whats-on/events-2017/october/public-lunchtime-talk--randall-munroe The Royal Institution], 
and [https://www.intelligencesquared.com/events/randall-munroe-on-making-complicated-stuff-simple/ Intelligence Squared]), then from October 3-6 in [https://www.stpetersyork.org.uk/public_lectures/randall_munroe_thing_explainer York], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/thing-explaining-with-randall-munroe-tickets-37832289396 Edinburgh], [https://www.toppingbooks.co.uk/events/ely/randall-murray-thing-explainer/ Cambridge and Ely], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/randall-munroe-book-signing-thing-explainer-tickets-38041072873 Oxford], and [https://www.cheltenhamfestivals.com/literature/whats-on/2017/randall-munroe/ Cheltenham].}}}}}
|This header text was a promotion for public appearances around the UK between late September and early October. Each link goes to a site where you could purchase tickets to attend his appearances. Despite the fact that all of his appearances had already ended, the promotion continued until October 9th, when the header text returned back to standard.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170731021227/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-31] {{nowrap|(during [[1869: Positive and Negative Reviews]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170804152509/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-08-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1872: Backup Batteries]])}}
|[[File:Healthcare Thanks.png]]
|This header thanked readers for their efforts to stop 'The Skinny Repeal', a bill which would have repealed the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare, in the Senate. In an unexpected twist, Republican senators John McCain, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski all voted against the bill, as well as all democrats, leading the 100-member senate to veto the bill 51-49. John McCain voted 'no' just days after a brain cancer diagnosis, leading two other Republicans to do the same, vetoing the bill.

This act had an especially large effect on Randall, as this was during his wife's Breast Cancer treatment. Had the act been passed, it is possible that they would have lost their Healthcare coverage, saddling them with very large amounts of debt which they may not have been able to pay off.

The entire image is a link, which takes you to a New York Times article showing the final results of the vote, as well as how members of each party voted.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170730141019/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]])}}
|[[File:Call the Senate.png]]
|This header came just days before a Senate vote on the 'skinny repeal' act, which would have repealed major parts of the Affordable Care Act, which would have left millions of people without healthcare coverage. He asks his readers to contact their senators and ask them to vote 'no' on the bill. He provides a phone number to call, as well as recommending readers to contact their friends in multiple Republican states, whose senators were likely to vote 'yes' on the bill, and ask them to call as well.

Randall may have been motivated to do this because, at the time, his wife was going through cancer treatment. Had this bill been passed, it is possible their healthcare coverage would have been lost, leading them to attain large amounts of debt, and possibly forcing Randall to cease making comics.

This header was up until the Senate ultimately vetoed the bill 51-49, leading Randall to change the header to a 'thank you'.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170122003124/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This long-lasting header text promoted shirts and posters which could be found at the xkcd store at the time. It maintained the sales pitch of the previous header, only removing the image promoting the shirts.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128153015/https://xkcd.com 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1765: Baby Post]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170121114423/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]])}}
|[[File:New shirts header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],

along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This header promoted a Christmas sale on merchandise which was available in the xkcd store at the time. Despite the Christmas sale ending, the header remained until January 21st. The entire image was a link to the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423103108/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128093459/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1764: XKCDE]])}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header returned for a long stint between late April and late November of 2016.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404185353/https://www.xkcd.com/#5dbfbb82-fc20-11e5-8001-42010a8e000d 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1663: Garden]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423182630/https://xkcd.com:80/1663/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|'''Protip''': If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}}}}
|This header text stayed throughout most of April. It gave tips for the [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which came out with the release of this header. The header text stayed until April 23rd, at which point it became a [[xkcd_Header_text#Garden|Comic-Specific Header]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401204749/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404054612/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|''First Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.

Please stand by!}}

''Second Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.}}

{{Header text|Status update: Please stand by.}}
{{Header text|Status update: This is fine. Everything is fine.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Everything is on fire.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Searching for calendar systems in which Saturday is April 1st.}}

''Third Version'':
{{Header text|The Friday xkcd comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties}}

{{Header text|[Editor's note: Everything is on fire] and has been delayed until Sunday night.}}
|Randall is making the best of a bad situation. Just before the release of that year's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], it experienced technical difficulties forcing Randall to delay its release. The three headers changed in rapid succession while [[1662: Jack and Jill]] was still on the front page. Randall provides status updates on the comic, which quickly devolves into chaos before returning to a sense of false normalcy. This finalized header remained until the release of [[Garden]] on April 5th.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151213194534/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401125621/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Thing Explainer is available at:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header was the final header to promote Thing Explainer, which had been continuously promoted for over 10 months at that point. It provided links to places where the book could be purchased, just in time for the Christmas season.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151212133400/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1| Thing Explainer is available at: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be in [https://web.archive.org/web/20151211002159/https://www.andersonsbookshop.com/event/naperville-reads-randall-munroe Naperville, IL] and [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205205714/https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/indigo-exclusive-randall-munroe-tickets-18694384407 Toronto, ON] (with [https://qwantz.com/ Ryan North]!) next week.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. It gave links to order [[Thing Explainer]] (which makes sense. It was December, after all.), and also promoted public appearances he would be doing with Ryan North in Naperville, Illinois and Toronto, Ontario. This header continued the trend of promoting [[Thing Explainer]], which had been continually promoted since April.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151203234149/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}}
|[[File:TE images header.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text contained a large image showcasing images from [[Thing Explainer]], as well as multiple links for where to get the book. This image holds the odd record of being the largest image to ever be put into the header text (it is resized here for space). The image gets even weirder by being a link to [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0544668251/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0544668251&linkCode=as2&tag=thekcs-20&linkId=S4XRZJJKSMHOWEQU Thing Explainer on Amazon], even though a link to buy the book on amazon was also provided beneath the image. The image was only provided for two days, before being replaced by a promotion for his public appearances with Ryan North.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124201602/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1607: Supreme Court]]}} until 2015-12-02 {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}}
|''First Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

''Second Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|I'm doing a [https://www.facebook.com/AndyWeirAuthor/ live Q&A;] at 2:30pm PT with The Martian author Andy Weir.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. For most of the time it was on the front page, it solely promoted [[Thing Explainer]], and provided links where you could purchase it. However, it was shortly changed to advertise his public appearances with Andy Weir, with the link in that text taking you to his Facebook page. The image remained between the two texts, and it was a link to an [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ old Blag post] announcing Thing Explainer. However, the promotion of the public appearance only lasted one day, and as such is not important enough overall to be split into it's own section.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151022200022/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124065108/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1608: Hoverboard]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|We've [https://slate.com/technology/2015/08/no-new-polio-in-africa-for-one-year-gates-epidemiologist-on-vaccines-and-surveillance.html almost eradicated polio]. For World Polio Day, I drew a comic}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|about the eradication efforts. You can see it on [https://www.gatesnotes.com/Health/XKCD-Marks-the-Spot Bill Gates's blog].}}}}}
_________________________________________________________________
{{Header text|{{{1|My [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ new book] of complex diagrams and simple words comes out Nov 24th.}}}}}
|This header text promoted two things simultaneously, separated by a line. The top half of the header promoted a comic which Randall drew for Bill Gates' blog, celebrating the fact that {{w|Polio}} had almost been eradicated. The other header promoted [[Thing Explainer]], a book which had just released that year. The top half of the header linked to the blog post that Randall's Polio comic had appeared in, while the bottom half linked to a [[Blag]] post announcing Thing Explainer.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150923044724/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1580: Travel Ghost]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151021164208/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|News: Announcing my Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/im-going-on-a-book-trip/ book trip]. Come say hi!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|Other news: Announcing the Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/a-thing-explainer-word-checker/ word checker] tool!}}}}}
|This simplistic header promoted two things related to [[Thing Explainer]], which had released earlier that year. It promoted the Thing Explainer book tour and a tool which can help you "Write Like Up Goer Five and Thing Explainer", also known as [https://xkcd.com/simplewriter/ Simple Writer].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150906181550/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1573: Cyberintelligence]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150919220105/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1579: Tech Loops]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thing-Explainer-Randall-Munroe/dp/1473620910 Amazon.co.uk], [https://www.waterstones.com/book/thing-explainer/9781473620919 Waterstones]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to previous headers promoting [[Thing Explainer]]. The only change which occurred between the last header and this header was the addition of a line of text containing links, where you could preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150606084120/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-06-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150807181044/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1561: Water Phase Diagram]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|In other news, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing] is delightful, 
and I feel surprisingly invested in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket's] results.}}}}}
|This header text contained two sections, each talking about separate things. The upper portion of the header maintained the same promotion of [[Thing Explainer]] from the previous header, but added a couple new lines of text outlining 'other news' in his life. The first link goes to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing], a music video parody of {{w|David Bowie|David Bowie's}} [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo Space Oddity] music video using only the 1,000 most common words, inspired by [[1133: Up Goer Five]]. Along with this, there was another link which went to [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket] on Twitter. This was a large bracket inspired by [[1529: Bracket]], in which a Twitter user simulated a full bracket with each entry from the comic. After this, it returned to simply promoting the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150515060322/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150605082643/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-06-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text, like the one that came before it, promoted the fact that preorders were open for [[Thing Explainer]], which had been announced with the previous header. The image linked to a [[Blag]] post titled ''[https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ New book: Thing Explainer]''. This header remained for just under a month before other news was added.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150514053623/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1524: Dimensions]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New book: [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ Thing Explainer!]}}}}}
|This header text announced [[Thing Explainer]], a book which uses only the 1,000 most common English words at the time to explain complicated things such as the {{w|Curiosity (rover)|Curiosity Rover}} and {{w|Washing machine|Washing machines}}. When the next comic released, the header text turned to promoting the book, including providing links where you could preorder it.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150211154103/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1485: Friendship]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150512184622/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1523: Microdrones]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header text returned for about three months, between his promotion of xkcd-themed {{w|Valentine's Day}} cards and the announcement of [[Thing Explainer]]
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150204051152/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1482: NowPlaying]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150210005540/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1484: Apollo Speeches]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]
|This header was the last of the headers to promote {{w|Valentine's Day}} that year. It promoted the Valentine's Day cards which Randall had collaborated with other webcomic artists to create, and were first announced the month before. The promotion lasted until February 10th, at which point it was nearly impossible to ship cards out to customers by Valentine's Day.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150203022036/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today is the last day to order the limited-run [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart binary heart shirt]!}}}}}
|This header solely promoted the binary heart shirt, which was in the xkcd store at the time, just before that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. The header remained up until the day after the shirts were no longer available to order.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150129183442/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150201015913/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1480: Super Bowl]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]{{nowrap|[[File:Binary shirt.png]]}}
|This header promoted both special store products that Randall had created for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. He had partnered with other artists to create custom Valentine Cards, and had created a shirt which contained a heart made out of binary. This header lasted for only a few days until the header changed to promoting the last day you could order the shirts. The image promoting the shirt was a link to a https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart page] where you could purchase it.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150128172147/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}}
|{{Header text|I've teamed up with three other webcomic artists}}
{{Header text|{{{1|to make [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://store.xkcd.com/products/webcomic-science-valentines a set of science-themed Valentine's Day cards]!}}}}}
|This short-lived header announced the fact that [[Randall]] had collaborated with 'other webcomic artists' to create Valentine's cards which could be purchased in the shop at the time. The link in the text took you to the card's page on the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150124110707/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1477: Star Wars]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150126133139/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}}
|{{Header text|For Valentine's Day, you can get a binary heart shirt}}
{{Header text|{{{1|(from {{xkcd|99|comic #99!}}) in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart a limited run on TeeSpring]}}}}}
|This header text was the first of many headers to promote the binary heart shirt which Randall released for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. Instead of being on the xkcd store like one may assume, he actually used {{w|Teespring}}, a company that allows users to create and sell custom products, as the sales platform.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141222233233/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1463: Altitude]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150123102318/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1476: Ceres]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get xkcd shirts, prints, and posters in the [https://shop.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header, like many others at the time, promoted the xkcd store, which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise. The link in the text was a link to the store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141217085320/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until 2014-12-18 {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20141219092349/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141221172450/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header.png]]
|This header served two distinct stints as a header, in between an Easter egg header that Randall had released in between them.

This header consisted of just one image, promoting the xkcd store while also reminding readers that that Friday was the last day things could be shipped by the 25th. The entire image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], not just the blue text in the image.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141218090650/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header 2.png]]
|This header was a more humorous version of the header which it both preceded and succeeded, possibly meant as an {{w|Easter egg (media)|Easter Egg}} for those who happened to visit the site at the time when it was up. It lasted only for a few hours, meaning that not many actually got to see it while it was up. It reminded the reader that, if they wished to get Christmas presents from the xkcd store, they needed to order them by that Friday in order for them to be shipped in time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141203132024/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1455: Trolley Problem]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1460: SMFW]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Store Header.png]]
|This header promoted the store during the Christmas season, with a touch of humor added in. The bobcat is a reference to [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]. The image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141129211604/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141202065133/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1454: Done]]}}
|{{Header text|Thank you for helping my friend Emily.}}
{{Header text|It means so much.}}
|Just two days after Randall posted a header text to raise money for Emily's cancer treatment, the goal was met and this header replaced the previous one for three days. This means that the thanks for meeting the goal was up for more time than the header notifying readers of the goal itself.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141127005239/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1452: Jurassic World]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128070838/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]}}
|{{Header text|Hey all. My friend Emily—the economist who helped}}
{{Header text|me with my {{xkcd|980|money chart}}—has been fighting cancer. She's}}
{{Header text|{{{1|having a rough time and could use some [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128183414/https://www.gofundme.com/e07dqk help]. Thank you.}}}}}
|This header text was meant to raise money in order to help [[Randall]]'s friend Emily fight cancer. The text linked to a GoFundMe page for Emily. Oddly, Emily did not get a permanent header as Becky did on the [[#Seven_Years|Seven Years]] comic.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141002211139/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1428: Move Fast and Break Things]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141125234520/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Bestseller.png]]
|This header consisted of an image promoting the fact that What If? Had become a New York Times bestseller, while also promoting the book at the same time. The header remained up for over a month, only being interrupted by Emily's cancer diagnosis. The image was a link to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140904150600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141001130827/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out now.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that What If?, which had released the day before this header came out, was available to order. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140902125802/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140903134518/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out Today.png]]
|This header kept the trend of simple images promoting What If?, with this one promoting the fact that the book was released that day. As this promoted only the release day, it was replaced by a more general promotion the day after. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140723180600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1398: Snake Facts]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140901113916/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]}}
|[[File:What If? Book Tour.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that Randall was going on a book tour for What If?, which was released that September. The image, like many others promoting the book, was a simple depiction of a celebrating Cueball with text to its right. The text in the image promoted the book, and asked the viewer to click on an apparent link in order to see a list of stops for the tour. However, by Randall's own admission, the entire image (not just the apparent link) was a link, as he had not figured out HTML imagemaps. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/07/22/what-if-book-tour/ a Blag post] announcing the book tour and outlining a list of stops.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140313070951/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1341: Types of Editors]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140722142115/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1397: Luke]]}}
|[[File:What If? Announcement.png]]
|This header text was the first of many to promote What If?. This first one announced the fact that Randall was publishing a book cataloging entries from his What If? blog, which had been running continuously for multiple years at that point. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/03/12/what-if-i-wrote-a-book/ a Blag post] announcing the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140109190927/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140312070248/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1340: Unique Date]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131221043417/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1306: Sigil Cycle]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140108181520/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The deadline for guaranteed Christmas shipping has passed, 
but if you order something from the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], we'll get it to you as fast as possible!}}}}}
|This header text came out just four days before Christmas, when Randall would be unable to ship items ordered from the xkcd store by Christmas. He also reminds readers that they'd ship ASAP, but they wouldn't arrive by the 25th.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131220005306/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1305: Undocumented Feature]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|For a couple weeks during early December of 2013, no header came to replace the previous Exoplanet Poster header. It is possible that there was an error with the intended header text, or that Randall simply forgot to put in a new one. This stopped when the xkcd store Christmas shipping deadline passed, and the header changed to let readers know of this fact.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1298: Exoplanet Neighborhood]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Exoplanet Neighborhood comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://store.xkcd.com/products/exoplanet-neighborhood-poster poster]!}}}}}
|Just after [[Exoplanet Neighborhoods]] came out, Randall updated the header to mention that you could get the comic as a poster in the store. This header lasted only four days, until the header turned empty.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130409170502/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131201184250/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1297: Oort Cloud]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Subways comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20130411022318/http://store-xkcd-com.myshopify.com/products/subways poster]!}}}}}
|This header, which lasted for almost exactly 100 Comics, promoted the fact that you could get [[1196: Subways]] as a poster in the xkcd store. The promotion lasted until early December, when it was replaced with a different store promotion for another comic, oddly promoting a comic poster as well.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126235628/https://xkcd.com/1138/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130311073948/https://xkcd.com:80/1183/ 2013-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1183: Rose Petals]]}}, from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130320082716/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1188: Bonding]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130401112845/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]]}}, and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403180307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1194: Stratigraphic Record]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130408184914/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}}
|[[File:xkcd Store Paper Rip.png]]
|This header holds a record for the most distinct times it appeared as the header text, appearing three separate times. The content of the header was an image showing a torn piece of paper, with the tear revealing the words 'xkcd store' below it. Clicking on the image while it was up took you to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which featured various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20130402122924/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]])}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|There were some surprise upsets in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20130402131103/http://almamater.xkcd.com/ Hash Breaking]!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|KIT [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403114751/http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv leads] (389 bits wrong), followed by Columbia (391 bits wrong).}}}}}
|This header documented the challenge given to multiple prestigious colleges in [[1193: Externalities]]. Randall had created a challenge in which multiple Alma Maters were tasked to break a 1024-bit {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} in the shortest time possible, with the college that had the least bits wrong at the end of the challenge winning. This header gave an update, stating that KIT (an Indian engineering college) in first place, with Colombia in second. He provided a link to the xkcd page where the results were being documented in real time. In the end, Carnegie Mellon University won, with 384 bits wrong of 1024.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130315162227/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1186: Bumblebees]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130318072820/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1187: Aspect Ratio]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|After the previous header letting people know that [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]] was delayed, no header came to replace it for 3 days. This is one of only three times this has happened in xkcd's history
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313133631/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1184: Circumference Formula]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313175306/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The comic will be delayed until late morning EDT.}}}}}
|This simple header, which was up for less than a day, let readers know that the next comic ([[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]) was temporarily delayed. The delayed comic was quickly released and the header was replaced, oddly, with nothing.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121024082017/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126035129/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121017232102/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1122: Electoral Precedent]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121023023404/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/ What if lightning struck while you were ...]}}}}}
|This header was the last header to promote the release of a specific entry to the What If? blog. This entry acted like a short-answer section, but only for lightning-related questions. This promotion lasted for only a few days before it was replaced with the standard header. The link in the article took you to the blog entry.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121010003837/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121016055538/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1121: Identity]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/15/ What if you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?].
|This header promoted a new release of the What If? Blog, this being Mariana Trench Explosion. The question in this entry was "What If you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?". The promotion lasted about a week before the next entry in the blog came out.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121002231724/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121008112434/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}}
|{{Header text|In this week's What-If article I [https://what-if.xkcd.com/14/ answer multiple reader questions].}}}}}
|This header text promotes the first short-answer entry of the What If? blog. It was up for a week, while it was the most recent blog entry. After that, it was replaced by a promotion for the next blog entry
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120926163111/https://xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1113: Killed in Action]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121001080517/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/ If everyone aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at once, would it change color?]}}}}}
|This header text, like many others around this time, promoted the latest entry to the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120918143653/https://www.xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120925090123/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1112: Think Logically]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|what-if.xkcd.com: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/ What if all of a storm's water fell in a single raindrop?].}}}}}
|This header promoted the latest entry into the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|12|Raindrop}}. It stayed up until the next blog entry was released.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1106: ADD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120917052827/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://what-if.xkcd.com/11/ Droppings]}}}}}
|This time, the header text promoted the new What If? blog entry, this time titled {{what if|11|Droppings}}. This header lasted until the next entry, {{what if|12|Raindrop}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120910011937/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1105: License Plate]]}}
|{{Header text|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://what-if.xkcd.com/10/ What if we slid the Earth's surface around by 90 degrees?]}}}}}
|This header was part of a long series of headers at the time, coming out each week with each new What If? blog entry. This one promoted {{what if|10|Cassini}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1101: Sketchiness]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120903051700/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/ What if everyone had a randomly-chosen soul mate?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers promoting new entries to the What If? blog every week. For this week, it promoted {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1098: Star Ratings]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120828050938/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1100: Vows]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ What if everyone got together and jumped]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ at the same time, but then realized nobody brought food?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1096: Clinically Studied Ingredient]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120821113022/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1097: A Hypochondriac's Nightmare]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|This week: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://what-if.xkcd.com/7/ Is there enough energy to move all of humanity off-planet]?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|7|Everybody Out}}. This header, however, is unique from the others promoting the blog, as this is the last header to promote the website directly.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120809045754/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1092: Michael Phelps]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120814083615/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1094: Interview]]}}
|[[File:What If? Glass header.png]]
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, for most of the week {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}} was out, Randall used an image to promote the new entry rather than the traditional text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use this format.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1091: Curiosity]]}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://what-if.xkcd.com/6/ This week]: What if a glass were actually half-empty?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, this header is unique, as it only appeared for a single day before Randall replaced it with an image promoting the same article. This header text promoted {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1089: Internal Monologue]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120805074212/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1090: Formal Languages]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/5/ This week]: How long would humans last in a robot apocalypse?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120730122025/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1088: Five Years]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/4/ This week]: What if you had a mole (unit) of moles (animals)?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}, the fourth What If? blog entry.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120718231719/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1083: Writing Styles]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120723224537/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1085: ContextBot]]}}
|[[File:Yoda What If header.png]]
|This header was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. During the week where {{what if|3|Yoda}} was the most recent post, Randall decided to promote the new entry via an image rather than the typical text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use an image rather than text.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120710114846/https://xkcd.com/1078/ 2012-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120714062857/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1081: Argument Victory]]}}
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New site: what-if.xkcd.com, where I abuse science to answer hypothetical questions. 
I'll answer a new question every Tuesday.}}}}} 
''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/ what-if.xkcd.com]: abusing science to answer hypothetical questions.}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll answer a new reader question every Tuesday.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each promoting the new What If? blog at [https://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]. 
The first version was only up for a day, and, oddly, appeared on each comic except for the front page. The website given in the text wasn't a link, which is presumably why Randall quickly changed the header into the second version. 
The second version of the text was the main version, and was up for a few days. This header does not have many changes from the previous header, only adding the link where the website was and separating the text into two lines. The website now linked to the first ever What If? blog entry, {{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}. For a time, this text also did not appear on the front page as it came out during [[1079: United Shapes]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#United_Shapes|unique header text]]. Later, this text was incorporated into this comic's text, but it was never changed back. This means, if you {{xkcd|1079|go to the comic today}}, it still contains the second version of this header.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120409190952/https://xkcd.com/1026/ 2012-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1040: Lakes and Oceans]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709004956/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
{{Header text|{{{1|You can get prints, posters, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store].}}}}}
|This simple header text combined the standard header text and the standard store promotion in one header. The link in the bottom row went to to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120405195956/https://www.xkcd.com/1021/ 2012-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1038: Fountain]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120408200414/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1039: RuBisCO]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|A return to the standard header text, if only for a few days before the store promotion was added.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120328103319/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1035: Cadbury Eggs]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120403164523/https://xkcd.com:80/1036/ 2012-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1036: Reviews]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'm [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ visiting] Newport News, VA next week, where I'll be speaking at CNU, my old school. 
If you want to come, reserve a seat [https://web.archive.org/web/20120329214411/https://www.cnu.edu/pcs/xkcd/index.asp here]!}}}}}
|This promotion linked to a trip Randall was doing to {{w|Newport News, Virginia}}, where he would be giving a talk at his old school, {{w|Christopher Newport University}}. The first link in the text went to a [[Blag]] [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ post] announcing his trip, while the second link took you to a website where you could purchase tickets (the link here goes to an archived version, as the link is no longer working).
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120312185125/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1028: Communication]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120326180811/https://xkcd.com// 2012-03-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1033: Formal Logic]]}}
|{{Header text|{{[1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120318153220/https://holistic.xkcd.com/ holistic.xkcd.com], the least useful web navigation tool ever.}}}}}
|This header text promoted a web navigation tool which Randall had developed, called the xkcd Holistic Browser. As the name implies, when you typed a web address, you would instead be taken to a web address someone else had entered. For a time, this header text overlapped with [[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#Unique_header_text|unique header text]].
|Other promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20120228183748/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120311135259/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1027: Pickup Artist]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Blag: Remember geohashing? [http://blog.xkcd.com/2012/02/27/geohashing-2/ Something pretty cool] happened Sunday.}}}}}
|This header text references geohashing, an activity which originated from [[426: Geohashing|another comic]] which Randall had published a few years earlier. Geohashing is an activity where an algorithm picks a pseudo-random point within a certain graticule each day. The people who partake in this activity (known as 'geohashers' or 'hashers') can then go to this spot, take a picture, and upload it to the [geohashing.site Geohashing wiki].

The blog post in the header text outlines a story relating to the globalhash, an extra challenge for geohashers in which just one point is chosen around the world. One day, the globalhash was within a mile of the south pole, and a geohasher reached out to personnel at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}}. Personnel at the station completed the challenge and uploaded a photo to the wiki, completing the achievement.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111219230017/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[992: Mnemonics]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|The standard header text returns once again, this time taking the place of the previous after the store was unable to ship things out in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[982: Set Theory]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[991: Phantom Menace]]}}
|[[File:2011 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{{1|shipping for Christmas}}}}}
|This header text utilized a small banner to notify readers that the xkcd store, at that point, could ship items out in time for christmas. Nothing more to say about this one.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[930: Days of the Week]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[981: Porn Folder]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110702224031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-02] {{nowrap|(during [[919: Tween Bromance]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110718225031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[926: Time Vulture]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blog post:}}}}}{{nowrap|{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Family Illness]}}}}}}}
|This header text promoted a blag post which is much more somber than most. It tells readers the context behind recent cancer-related comics. At this time, Megan, his then-fianceé (and now wife), was diagnosed with Stage III {{w|Breast cancer|Breast Cancer}}, which is extremely rare at her age of diagnosis. Obviously, the treatment and support of his fianceé took up much of his life, and he wanted to let his readers know of the ongoing situation. Despite the late diagnosis, Megan has since made a full recovery.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110520004343/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-20] {{nowrap|(during [[900: Religions]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110629072556/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-06-29] {{nowrap|(during [[918: Google+]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. Not really sure what to say here.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110512173901/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[897: Elevator Inspection]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110517072118/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[899: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]}}}}}{{Header text|!}}
|This header text is a compilation of the standard header text and an advertisement for a new blag post, this one being 'Michael Bay's Scenario'. This blog post shows Randall's characteristic geekiness, detailing the basis for one of the panels in [[748: Wo, rst-Case Scenario|an earlier comic]], being the pattern for how dams are operated when the {{w|Mississippi River}} floods.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110418155618/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-18] {{nowrap|(during [[887: Future Timeline]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110508055056/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-08] {{nowrap|(during [[898: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110405105448/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[881: Probability]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Miss XK3D? It's still up at [xk3d.xkcd.com xk3d.xkcd.com]. 
(UNIXKCD, last year's April 1st redesign, is at [uni.xkcd.com uni.xkcd.com].)}}}}}
|This header text let readers know that there was still a way to access the April Fool's xkcd redesign for that year. In 2011, the redesign used a computer program to create a 3d effect on all comics up to [[880: Headache]]. It also reminded readers of the previous year's April Fools' redesign, that being [[Unixkcd]], which gave xkcd.com an interface similar to a terminal. The upper link no longer works, and has been replaced by [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com].
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110401181154/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[880: Headache]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD is now 3D! See [http://xkcd.com/xk3d/ here] for details! 
If 3D is too much for you, consider investing in a pair of [http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/looflirpa/e8be/ these]!}}}}}
|This header text was unique to the 2011 April Fools' xkcd.com redesign. For 2011, the regesign used a computer program to convert every xkcd comic up until [[880: Headache]] to a 3d view by separating the comics into different layers. The upper link is completely broken and no longer exists. To see the xk3d interface, go to [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com]. The lower link in the header text no longer works, instead taking you to a GameStop page dedicated to action figures and other collectibles.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110320063005/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110331041143/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-31] {{nowrap|(during [[879: Lamp]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blag post: a [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/03/19/radiation-chart/ chart] comparing levels of radiation exposure.}}}}}
|{{notice|summarize the blag post here}}
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110202074533/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[855: 1999]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110318203241/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: There's a new full-text comic search box a bit down the page.}}}}}
|This header text served as a set of two 'pro tips' which Randall is providing for the readers, the second header straight to do so. While the first is the same as the previous header, the second is different. It correctly states that there is a search box in a lower section of the page, which most people would not see as it is not viewable unless you scroll down, which most won't do as they are just viewing the comic.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110122183142/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-22] {{nowrap|(during [[850: World According to Americans]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110201050436/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[854: Learning to Cook]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: Scripts can [http://xkcd.com/json.html fetch comics and metadata automatically].}}}}}
|This header text provides 'pro tips', or pieces of advice ('tips') coming from somebody more experienced with a certain subject ('pros'). In this case, the person more experienced with xkcd is Randall, the creator of the site, so it's questionable as to whether these would actually be 'pro tips'. The upper tip lets readers know about m.xkcd.com, a version of the site designed for mobile devices. Currently, it's used for older web browsers, and less so for mobile devices as technology and Randall's coding has evolved. The other tip allows readers to use a computer script to automatically fetch comics and the metadata (the technical information about each comic, such as the author and its resolution) for said comics.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101221074545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110120082139/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-20] {{nowrap|(during [[849: Complex Conjugate]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101210182242/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-10] {{nowrap|(during [[832: Tic-Tac-Toe]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101220074448/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}})
|[[File:2010 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store is now shipping for Christmas.}}
|This header text was a reminder for readers that the xkcd store could ship items in time for christmas. At the time, he was selling signed prints of many different comics, so it was important for readers to have this knowledge.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101202013145/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitudes]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101207103208/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-07] {{nowrap|(during [[831: Genetic Analysis]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can order the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text combined the regular, standard header text with a promotion for an item in the xkcd store. It was very similar to the previous, with the only difference being that instead of only being able to preorder the item, the item could be directly ordered. The item in question was a poster depicting [[802: Online Communities 2]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101015082807/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[806: Tech Support]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101201003913/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitude]]}})
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There's a poster of the [https://xkcd.com/802/ updated communities map] for preorder in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}

''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can preorder the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each having the exact same meaning but differing levels of conciseness. It let readers know that they could preorder a poster which depicted [[802: Online Communities 2]], a large comic which depicted the size of various online communities as a fantasy map. This header text debuted in October until early December, when it released just in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100717133907/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-17] {{nowrap|(during [[767: Temper]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101012070848/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-12] {{nowrap|(during [[804: Pumpkin Carving]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are t-shirts, prints, posters, and other items in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}
|This was a very standard, copy-and-paste store promotion.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[760: Moria]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[765: One Two]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text. This header was the last time that there was a prolonged gap in the archives, necessitating the 'c.' in the date field.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[740: The Tell-Tale Beat]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[756: Public Opinion]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday 
There is a [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#FlyingFerretTankTop tank top] in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple one, letting readers know that the xkcd store now contained a {{w|Sleeveless shirt|tank top}} (a shirt which does not contain sleeves) depicting the flying ferret from [[20: Ferret]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100506032819/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-06] (during [[736: Cemetery]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header text|{{{1|The {{Header link|[http://blag.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ color survey results]}} are up!}}}}}
|This header text references the color survey, which was also mentioned the previous month in a different header. The color survey was an online survey in which users were presented with a completely random color and asked to give it a name, in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive color and language.
|Other promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100427162424/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-27] (during [[732: HDTV]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100408053329/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[724: Hell]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[725: Literally]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|If you liked the unixkcd interface, you can keep using it [xkcd.com/unixkcd here]! 
My [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ survey of color names] is almost done! Want to help?}}}}}
|This was a very simple header, alerting readers to the fact that, if they enjoyed [[Unixkcd]], that year's April Fools' Day redesign, it could still be accessed. While the website in the text no longer works, it can be accessed at uni.xkcd.com. It also mentions Randall's 'survey of color names', which is a survey that Randall conducted where responders were given a completely random color and asked to name it, hoping to provide some insight into how people perceive color.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100304093951/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-03-04] {{nowrap|(during [[709: I am]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[719: Brain Worms]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints new prints] and [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints posters][http://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
I'm doing a [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ Color name survey]. Want to help?}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. The top line was a very simple copy-paste advertisement for the Store, advertising signed prints of comics. Oddly, the links behind 'new prints' and 'posters' are exactly the same and would have taken you to the same place regardless of which one you clicked. The second line was an advertisement for the xkcd color name survey, where respondents were given a random color and asked to name it in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive colors and language.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100102003314/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-01-02] {{nowrap|(during [[683: Science Montage]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100215231756/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-02-15] {{nowrap|(during [[702: Snow Tracking]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}}}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091202010210/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[669: Experiment]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091225151809/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-25] {{nowrap|(during [[680: December 25th]]}})
|[[File:2009 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store - now shipping for Christmas delivery}}
|This simple header text served the purpose of alerting readers to the fact that the xkcd store could ship in time for Christmas, if anybody wanted to buy an xkcd-themed gift for somebody. However, the last time this text was archived was on Christmas Day, far after the store could have shipped anything in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20091027132448/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091115070508/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!
|This was the final header text to promote [[xkcd: volume 0]], a compilation of some of the best xkcd comics up to that point, along with footnotes and <s>a mysterious cipher</s> other additions. This header text served two distinct stints, as it was interrupted for just a few hours on October 27th by xkcd's GeoCities memorial.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20091027014324/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-10-27] (during [[654: Nachos]])
|GeoCities is shutting down today. To commemorate this, xkcd.com has been redesigned.">{{nowrap|[[File:Broken File Icon.png|25x25px]]}}
|For just a few hours on October 27th, 2009, xkcd was redesigned to be a chaotic mess in memory of {{w|GeoCities}}, replicating a stereotypical GeoCities site. GeoCities was a free web hosting service which, due to the very low barrier of entry, was known for children and teens hosting their own sites which looked similar to the redesign. This resulted in many pieces of broken code, which is replicated in the header text. Please note that the text had effects on it which cannot be replicated here, such as the image being in place of a superscript and the text containing a marquee effect.
|???
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20090918105905/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090923040934/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|’’’First Version:’’’ 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in New York and the Bay Area.}}}}}

’’’Second Version:''' 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in the Bay Area.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, which are compiled here because the second came right after the first and told you the exact same thing. The first version let you know that [[xkcd: volume 0]], the first-ever xkcd book, had been released and could be purchased in the store when it was online. It also told you about the small book tour that Randall would be doing, with stops in New York City and the San Francisco Bay area. This version was last archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090921130537/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-21]. The second version was exactly the same, except for the fact that Randall had apparently already gone to NYC, and was now presumably on his way to the Bay Area for that stop.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090903095219/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[631: Anatomy Text]]}})
|{{Header text|Ever wanted {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?tie#xkcdtie an xkcd tie]}}?}}
|This was a very simple store promotion, stating that you could now get an xkcd-themed necktie from the store. It depicted various characters doing actions they did in previous comics they were featured in. An image of the tie is included below.

[[File:xkcd tie.jpg|150x150px]]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090801182533/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2009-08-01 {{nowrap|(during [[617: Understocked]]}})
|{{Header text|I'll be at {{Header link|[http://connecticon.org/ Connecticon]}} this weekend. 
If you're in the area, come say hi!}}
|This simple header promoted the fact that Randall was planning on travelling to Connecticon. Connecticon is an annual fan convention which dabbles in "all things Pop-culture", and it regularly hosts celebrity guests and panels. It's named such because, since its founding, it has been based in Hartford, Connecticut. Randall was one of many webcomic-creating guests who were invited, but it seems he was attending as a guest and nothing more.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-17] {{nowrap|(during [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090730084817/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[616: Lease]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are signed prints in the {{Header link|[http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350if_/http://xkcd.com:80/store/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header, being a simple combination of the standard header text and a copy-pasted store promotion. The 'signed prints' that Randall is referring to are printed-out versions of comics which were hand-signed by Randall and could be purchased in the store before it shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090313220423/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090314231453/xkcd.com/ 2009-03-14] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20081218103735/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[518: Flow Charts]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20090311133423/https://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[554: Not Enough Work]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} now has {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}.}}
|This header text was a simple, copy-paste store promotion advertising signed print-outs of comics, which could be ordered in the store before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20081216003547/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[517: Marshmallow Gun]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} (now with {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}!) is running smoothly, 
so we’ve extended the US Christmas order deadline to Tuesday.}}
|This header text was to let people know that apparently, it was not too late to order things and get them shipped in time for Christmas (with the obligatory advertisement for the signed comic print-outs, of course). This text was almost certainly up before it was archived, however, as the 'Tuesday' in question was the very day that it was added to archive.org. The wording is also a bit confusing, as it implies that either 1)they were expecting the store to NOT be running smoothly or 2)the store running smoothly at all is unexpected.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081202150349/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[511: Sleet]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20081211124445/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-11] {{nowrap|(during [[515: No One Must Know]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ Order]}} before the 12th to ensure 
US delivery before the 25th.}}
|This was the routine December header text at this point. It let readers know that there was not only new merch in the store, but also revealed the date you needed to order to have delivery guaranteed by the 25th. This date would later be extended to the 16th, but nobody knew about that at this point.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081002175315/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[483: Fiction Rule of Thumb]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081125150337/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[508: Drapes]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} XKCD updates every Monday, 
Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This rather oddly-formatted header text was a simple store promotion and standard header combo, letting people know that new merch had been added to the store. Randall was seemingly quite proud of all the new stuff that had been recently added to the shop, because the store had been advertised for over 4 straight months at this point and would continue to be promoted until 4 months later. This is the first, and seemingly only, time that the standard header text has been broken up into multiple lines.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080805184617/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[458: Regrets]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080922225907/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[479: Tones]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} New {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ shirt and skirt]}} now shipping.}}
|This was the second header in a row to promote the store. This one promoted 'new merchandise', more specifically a shirt and a skirt, which were apparently shipping at the time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080728075533/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-28] {{nowrap|(during [[455: Hats]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and skirt in the {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header. It said that there had been new releases in the store, being a shirt and, rather unexpectedly, a skirt. No clue what would have been put on a skirt, but it existed.
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080617035452/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-06-17] {{nowrap|(during [[437: SUV]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080703181835/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-03] {{nowrap|(during [[444: Macgyver Gets Lazy]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080409062908/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[408: Overqualified]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080430072916/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-30] {{nowrap|(during [[417: The Man Who Fell Sideways]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}} is back.}}
|This rather ominous header text came after the store had apparently gone away for a few months. This was one of the shortest header texts ever, coming in at just four words and 15 characters.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080321072739/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-03-21] {{nowrap|(during [[399: Travelling Salesman Problem]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD is updated every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
The [http://store.xkcd.com/ {{Header link|store] {{Header text|is back.}}}}}}
|This rather ominous header text was an announcement of the reinstatement of the xkcd store, which had apparently gone away for some time between January 16th, 2008 (the last time the store had been promoted on the header text) and March 21st, 2008 (the only time this header text was archived). I find it funny that Randall successfully made it sound like the xkcd store was a supervillain from a children's cartoon or the antagonist in a bad 1970s sci-fi movie.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080218115842/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-18] {{nowrap|(during [[385: How it Works]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
Blag: [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/aliens/ {{Header link|Aliens] {{Header text|and [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/the-laser-elevator/ {{Header link|laser elevators]{{Header text|.}}}}}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple promotion of two recent Blag posts. 'Aliens' was a short rant about how poorly we were seaching for extraterrestrial life, and a prediction that the search for alien life would ramp up 'in a decade' (which, at the time of this post going up, would have been 2018). This obviously didn't end up panning out. The other one, laser elevators, is a rant about how bad {{w|Solar sail|Solar sails}} are, and shows a solution that a recent study had come up with, where a photon could be repeatedly bounced between a solar sail and a large reflective panel to create large amounts of energy. The post then goes farther off the rails, comparing physics to sex and then creating a theory where, using a Dyson sphere and a series of lasing cavities within it, a laser could be created and aimed at a star, creating an effective method for interstellar war. The post ends with a message to the aliens: the rather brash "FUCK YOU GUYS!"
|Other promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20080116055414/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[371: Compiler Complaint]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080202114535/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[378: Real Programmers]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071212040227/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[355: Couple]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20080113050121/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-13] {{nowrap|(during [[369: Dangers]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]] 
[http://xkcd.com/store {{Header link|xkcd store]}}
|This was the traditional, annual store promotion, banner and all. However, unlike past future promotions, this header did not actually mention Christmas, it just kinda happened to be there during Christmas. It was clearly a Christmas promotion. And if that wasn't convincing enough, the actual name of the image in the header text is 'christmas_imglink'. However, 'christmas_imglink' stayed until mid-january, about 3 weeks after Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071125101002/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071209030605/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-09] {{nowrap|(during [[354: Startling]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]]
|This header was quite short-lived. It contained a single image which promoted the store. Because of this header's low uptime and the contents of the next header, it is quite possible that Randall simply forgot to include the actual link to the store, which is what the next header added.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071117155253/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-17] {{nowrap|(during [[345: 1337: Part 5]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071123133252/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-23] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]{{Header text|!}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple store promotion promoting a shirt and a hoodie, which was in the store at the time before it got shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|}

===2007-11-12 - Previous plus 1337 series notice===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071112104631/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-12] (during [[1337: Part 1]])
*The text: 
New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ store]!
There will be five comics this week, one each weekday!
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20071116040809/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-16] (during [[1337: Part 4]])

===2007-10-27 - Preorder shirt and hoodie===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071027094704/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-27] (during [[Wasteland]])
*The text: 
New shirt and hoodie for preorder in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ store]!
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20071111214505/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-11] (during [[Fight]])

===2007-10-24 - For the love of god randall remember your headers (nothing)===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071024131946/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-24] (during [[Getting Out of Hand]])
*Randall forgor again!
*One archive, 3-day gap, we can say circa MAYBE, but it seems fine.

===2007-10-05 - The return of the standard header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071005115902/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-05] (during [[A-Minus-Minus]])
*The text also updated so that the ‘xkcd’ was all-lowercase rather than all-caps
*The text: 
xkcd updates every monday, wednesday, and friday
*Last day [https://web.archive.org/web/20071023083642/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-23] (during [[Gyroscopes]])

===2007-10-02 - NOTHING AGAIN===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071004202736/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Tapping]])
*Randall once again fully forgor.
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20071004213008/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-04] (during [[Tapping]]

===2007-10-02 - Forums3===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071002094941/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Ballmer Peak]])
*The text: 
You can use [http://forums3.xkcd.com/ forums3.xkcd.com] until DNS 
updates.
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20071003015205/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-03] (again, during [[Ballmer Peak]]), but OMG THIS IS A GUARANTEED LAST DAY FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

===2007-09-17 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070917215531/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-17] (during [[That Lovin' Feelin']])
*No text
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20070926234657/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-26], but only a 2-day gap, so that’s something! This was during [[Thighs]]

At this point, my archives began to break down. This is when it became much more tedious. Coincidentially, this is when archives became much more common, meaning that the pain didn’t stop after all.
===2007-08-09 - Reality-modifying stickers===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070809012909/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-08-09] (during [[Facebook]])
*The text: 
Reality-modifying stickers and a new shirt in the [https://xkcd.com/store store]!
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070904063904/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-04]. Next archive? The 17th!

===2007-06-10 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070610103907/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-10] (during [[With Apologies to The Who]])
*The text: 

*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070714202506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-07-14] (during [[Alone]]) Gap is between July 14th and AUGUST NINTH

===2007-06-02 - Powers of 1(0)===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070602203916/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-02] (during [[Powers of One]])
*The text: 
Background:{{w|Powers of ten|Powers of Ten}} on Wikipedia
*One archive, 8-day gap, when will this end…

===2007-05-24 - Communities map poster===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-24] (during [[Choices: Part 4]])
*The text: 
The [https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://xkcd.com/store/ Online Communities Map poster] is now shipping. 
This week, XKCD updates every weekday.
*One archive, 9-day gap

===2007-05-19 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070519162137/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-19] (during [[Certainty]])
*The text: 

*One archive, 5-day gap… sigh…. How do we even categorize these? I haven’t thought about that…

===2007-05-06 - Preorder 256 posters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-06] (during [[Code Talkers]]
*The text: 
You can preorder posters of the online communities map in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*This one line was so long that you couldn’t see the end of the word ‘store’
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070514171227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-14] (during [[Regarding Mussolini]]). 5-day gap.

===2007-05-03 - 2^8th comic===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-03] (during [[Online Communities]])
*The text: 
Hooray, the 2^8th comic! 
By popular demand: preorder a [https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster] of this map!
*Please note that we have no clue if there was any actual demand for a poster
*One archive, but no ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-24 - Back to standard text===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070324053307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-24] (during [[Blagofaire]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070406171936/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-04-06]. The next archive after this is from MAY THIRD.

===2007-03-21 - Good shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070321155442/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-21] (during [[Pet Peeve 114]])
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store].
*One archive, but only a three-day gap. No ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-16 - Sense of Security Blag===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-16] (during [[Collecting Double-Takes]]
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://blag.xkcd.com/ Lost: comic originals, sense of security.] (blag post)
*One archive, 5-day gap…. ‘’sigh’’

===2007-03-06 - Map of the internet – That you can buy!===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-06] (during [[Cat Proximity]])
*The phrases ‘new:’ are both in red
*The text: 
New: Map of the Internet [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster print] 
New: Two new shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20070314012824/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-14] (during [[Escape Artist]]) (yes, I said ended, not ‘last archived version’)

===2007-02-12 - Shirt restock===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-12] (during [[Small Talk]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://xkcd.com/store/ T-shirts] are restocked (for now) and shipping promptly!
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070227234312/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-27]. Sadly, a seven-day archive gap means we’re back to suffering.

===2007-02-10 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070210042242/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-10] (during [[Random Number]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Only one archive, but THE GAP IS ONLY TWO DAYS!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!

===2007-02-02 - New blag post===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-02] (during [[e to the pi Minus pi]])
*The text: 
New blag post: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://blag.xkcd.com/2007/01/29/washingtons-farewell-address-translated-into-the-vernacular/ Washington’s Farewell Address in everyday speech].
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070204031035/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-04] (during [[Nintendo Surgeon]]). A six-day archive gap means we once again can’t have any fun.

===2007-01-24 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070124194143/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-24] (during [[The Problem with Wikipedia]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Just one archive once again! And, once again, a long archive gap means we can’t have any fun

===2007-01-19 - He zorbed too hard :(===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-19] (during [[Brain]])
*ZORB is a company offering experiences where you roll downhill in human-sized available Hampster balls. Apparently, he's attempting to acquire one of the balls for himself, and failing.
*The text: 
I tried writing to [https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.zorb.com/ zorb] but I can’t convince them to send me one.
*Only one archive, lasted anywhere from 1-8 days

===2006-12-31 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061231002902/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-31] (during [[Hallucinations]])
*The standard header’s first appearance in its current form
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archive is [https://web.archive.org/web/20070114100227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-14] (during [[Kayak]]). This is only an approximation, as there’s a 5-day archive gap.

===2006-12-14 - Xmas Orders closed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-14] (during [[Command Line Fu]])
*The text: 
Christmas orders are closed! They will finish shipping shortly! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thecutest.info/ TheCutest]
*OH MY GOD THERE IS A 2.5 WEEK GAP

===2006-12-09 - Deadline 12/13===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061209222812/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-09] (during [[Penises]])
*The first line is in red, except for the link, which is the normal color. The second line is the normal color.
*The text: 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th. 
Supplies are limited; shirts are not guaranteed to stay in stock
*Only one archive once again! A 5-day gap in the archives mean we don’t know when it ended…or began.

===2006-12-05 - Useless shirt===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-05] (during [[Working for Google]])
*The second line of text is in red, except for the period at the end of the sentence.
*The text: 
New ‘Useless’ shirt available in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]! (Supplies limited) 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th.
*Actually, first time in a while where we really can just include that one archive, maybe with a ‘circa’ attached tho

===2006-11-29 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061129035519/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-11-29] (during [[Exercise]])
*The text: 

*Unknown end date (6-day gap), lasted only one archive

===2006-11-18 - Need submitters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-18] (during [[Wikifriends]])
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info] - Have voters, need submitters. 
(Content is user-submitted and may occasionally not be work-safe.)
*End date unknown (11-day archive gap). lasted only one archive.

===2006-11-09 - New toys===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-09] (during [[Interblag]]
*The text 
New toys: [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info]
*End date unknown again, 8-day gap in archives

===2006-10-13 - Nothing===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061013224954/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-10-13] (during [[Turn Back]])
*The text: 

*Both start and end date unknown, as there is a 2-3-week gap between archives. One archive

===2006-09-01 - IRC channel===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-09-01] (during [[Mario]])
*The website at the end of the text isn’t a link, but the words ‘xkcd irc channel’ are.
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://xkcd.com/store/ Store] has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends. 
NEWS: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?t=207 xkcd irc channel] (#xkcd on irc.foonetic.net)
*We have literally no clue about anything between September 1st and October 13th. And the one on October 13th is just nothing! Also, one archive

===2006-08-29 - BEEG shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-29] (during [[Sandwich]]
*The word ‘news’ is still in all caps, but has lost its boldness.
*The text: 
Two t-shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]! One sweet, one bitchin’. 
NEWS: Store has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends.
*Just one archive, but at least we’re only limited to a 3-day window. Don’t include ‘until unknown’ here

===2006-08-19 - Parody Week Dinosaur===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-19] (during [[Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics]])
*Sadly, this is the only archive from the entirety of parody week. We can only assume that each comic from Parody Week had a very similar header to this, but they are all lost media now.
*The text: 
Saturday is the last day to vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://xkcd.com/date/ date contest]! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://qwantz.com/ Dinosaur Comics] tribute! Regular comics return Monday.
*Only one archive. Because the header is specific to this comic (but not comic-specific - it was definitely global), we can probably say that this header left as the global header when the next comic came out.

===2006-08-12 - Next Week Parody Week===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060812105656/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-12] (during [[Delicious]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is formatted the same as last time
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ Next week is Parody Week! New comic every weekday!
*Ended sometime around [https://web.archive.org/web/20060813123244/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-13] (during [[Delicious]])

===2006-08-10 - Awesome date project===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-10] (during [[I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is in BOLD and ALL CAPS, but isn’t thicc like last time.
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/store/ Signed prints] of many comics are available! 
Don’t forget to help vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/date/ awesome date project]!
*Only one archive, and this time only two days between archives. We can only include the archive this time, not the ‘until unknown’

===2006-07-21 - BestThing.info===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-21] (during [[Fans]])
*’SISTER PROJECT’ is bold and in ALL CAPS (it’s also very thicc, which is odd. Same thickness as header link.)
*The text: 
Comic updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
SISTER PROJECT: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://bestthing.info/ BestThing.info] - decide What’s Best!
*Only one archive, but the end date is unknown as there are ~3 weeks between headers. End with ‘until Unknown’

===2006-07-20 - Video unearthed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060720090950/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-20] (during [[Julia Stiles]])
*News is once again in big and bold
*The text:
**NEWS: I've unearthed the video referenced in today's comic!
**Check the news section of the forums to watch it.
*Only one archive (this was a time of quick, very short-lived headers)

===2006-07-14 - Sunday last day===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-14] (during [[dPain over dt]])
*the word 'news' is, again, big and bold.
*The text:
**NEWS: Sunday is the last day to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]]!
*only one archive once again
===2006-07-10 - One week for tees===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-10] (during [[Red Spiders Cometh]])
*the word 'news' is '''<big>Big n' Bold</big>'''
*The text:
**NEWS: One week left to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]!
*Only one archive

===2006-07-05 - Comic 23 Tee===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-05]
*Top red line is bold
*The text:
**Get a t-shirt based on comic #23 in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]!
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060706040359/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-06] (during [[Blogofractal]])

===2006-06-16 - DYK forums===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-16] (during [[Meerkat]])
*The same format as the previous one. two lines of red text
*The text:
**T-shirts shipped out Monday morning!
**Did you know we have active [https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://forums.xkcd.com/ forums]?
*Again, only this archive

===2006-06-12 - Packaged T-shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060612221916/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-12] (during [[Computational Linguists]])
*Text is in red sans-serif
*First time t-shirts are mentioned, but the two months in between archives probably contained something forever lost to time.
*The text:
**T-shirts are packaged and shipping first thing Monday!
*Only this one archive had this header

===2006-04-08 - nothin'===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060408214700/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-04-08] (during [[Digital Rights Management]])
*Now it's in WingDings!
*The text:
**
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060428065305/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-04-28] (during [[95: The Sierpinski Penis Game]])

===2005-12-12 - Composite face images===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-12-12]
*MORE TNR!
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
**I also create [https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/morphs/ composite images of faces] (available on commission)
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060207154349/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-02-07] (during [[Super Bowl]])

===2005-11-26 - ASCG===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-26] (during [[Old Notebook]])
*More TNR
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I also run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
*Only up one archive
|-
|From c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] {{nowrap|(during [[21: Kepler]]}} until c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] {{nowrap|(during [[31: Barrel - Part 5]]}}
|{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
|This header text was a very short bio of Randall. It detailed multiple different things going on in his life.

{{w|RoboWar}} is a strategy-based video game where one must code a virtual robot to eliminate all others and be the last one standing. The game hosted regular competitions until mid-2003, at which point the player base began to die out. Evidently, RoboWar made a temporary return in 2005, which Randall was celebrating. He also provided a link to the official version of the game which supported {{w|Windows (operating system)|Windows}}.

[[Blue Eyes]] is a logic puzzle uploaded to xkcd c.2004, advertised as 'the hardest logic puzzle in the world'.
===2005-10-18 - Basic Bio===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] (during [[Kepler]])
*This was in the Times New Roman font, idk why.
*The text:
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] (During [[Barrel - Part 5]])

User:DollarStoreBa'al/WORKPAGE

2026-04-02T14:03:37Z

DollarStoreBa'al:

<big><big><big>IF YOU AREN'T DOLLARSTOREBA'AL, LEAVE NOW! IT'S A SURPRISE!!!</big></big></big>

<big><big><big><big>I MEAN IT!</big></big></big></big>

{{notice|<big><big><big><big>REMEMBER: ALWAYS PUT ON THE MOTIVATIONAL PLAYLIST BEFORE WORKING</big></big></big></big>}}
{{notice2|<big><big><big><big>ADD MORE SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST</big></big></big></big>}}
==Header Texts==
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" |Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
!Purpose
|-
|Find Archive (3074)
[[3074: Push Notifications]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was created with {{Header link|[http://github.com/cotrone Kevin Controne]}}, {{Header link|[https://chromakode.com Max Goodhart]}}, {{Header link|[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick]}}, {{Header link|[https://github.com/benley Benjamin Staffin]}}, {{Header link|[http://burningcandle.io/ Conor Stokes]}}, and {{Header link|[https://github.com/ayust Amber]}}.}}}}}
|This comic's header text gives credit to those who helped Randall create 2025's April Fools' Day comic. Each link takes you to the person's social media page, GitHub page, or personal website. At the time of writing (October 2025), this is the only comic to have a unique header text past comic #3000, meaning it's been over half a year since a comic has had a unique header.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-07-11]
[[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic accidentally inspired by 
[https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ {{Header link|this Buttersafe comic] {{Header text|from 2011!}}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions that it was 'accidentally inspired' by [https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ a Buttersafe comic]. It is assumed, but not confirmed, that the custom text was on the front page until the next comic, [[2958]], was published. The header text makes it clear that not only is he a fan of Buttersafe (as shown in the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics I enjoy]] section of [xkcd.com]), but he also did not know of the existence of this comic until after it was published. This is shown with the fact that [https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ it was not shown until the next day]. This text is permanently shown with this comic. As a special situation, this header text did not replace the current global header text, but was instead added below it at the time ([[#2024-05-15_-_Special_10th_anniversary_edition_of_WHAT_IF.3F|10th anniversary for what if?]])
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240406163326/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-04-06]
[[2916: Machine]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://github.com/spyhi Ed White], [https://twitter.com/uh_oh_thats_bad Alex Garcia], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], 
[http://burningcandle.io/ Conor & Ami Stokes], [https://liranuna.com/ Liran Nuna], [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick], 
[https://manishearth.github.io/ Manish Goregaokar],

[https://github.com/benley Benjamin Staffin], [https://github.com/ayust Amber], and [https://github.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg] with physics by [https://rapier.rs/ Rapier].}}
| This comic's header text mentions the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Saturday 6 April 2024 until [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] came out on Monday 8 April 2024. The earliest archived version of the next comic is from the following Tuesday [http://web.archive.org/web/20240409060444/https://xkcd.com/ 9 April 2024]. It is assumed that the header text changed late on Monday 8 April 2024, despite the fact that Machine was still up at that time, as shown in [https://web.archive.org/web/20240408225854/https://xkcd.com/ this archive]. When [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] was released, the front page had returned to the normal header.

As seen in the text, many people were involved. Some helped with two previous [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comics]], but there are many more involved in this comic than anything which came before it. Clicking on each person takes you to a link of their Instagram, Twitter, or the homepage of their own website/blog. In the credits, it is seen that the physics for the comic used Rapier, the Fast 2D and 3D physics engine for the {{w|Rust (programming language)| Rust programming language}}. This header text was removed from the homepage on [https://web.archive.org/web/20240409010518/https://xkcd.com/2916/ 2022-04-09], but it stayed as a permanent header for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20]
[[2765: Escape Speed]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was put together with help from [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick Clapp], 
[https://amberyu.st/ Amber], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], and [https://www.aiweirdness.com/ Janelle Shane].}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put the comic together. Despite the fact the comic was supposed to be a Wednesday release according to the archives, it was on the homepage from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20] until Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230421082400/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-21], when the next comic ([[2766: Helium Reserve]]) was released and the page returned to its normal header. This header text remains as a permanent header text for this comic.

Clicking each name takes you to their Instagram/Twitter page or the homepage of their own website/blog. Most had helped with the two previous April Fools' day comic (see below).
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|FIND ARCHIVE HERE}}
[[2729: Planet Killer Comet Margarita]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was drawn for Daniel Becker, based on 
[https://what-if.xkcd.com/162/ his winning question] submitted to the [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2 What If? 2 contest].
|This header celebrated the winner of Randall's What If? 2 Contest, being one Daniel Becker. It mentions that the comic was based off the winning question's entry into the What If? blog.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01]
[[2601: Instructions]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with 
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/chromakode @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], 
[https://twitter.com/xDirtyPunkx Conor], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01] until Tuesday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220405031003/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-05], when [[2602: Linguistics]] came out and the front page returned to its normal header.

Clicking on each of the names takes you to the person's Instagram/Twitter page. Five also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header was only related to 2601, it was removed from the frontpage header, but it stayed up as a permanent header on this specific comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01]
[[2445: Checkbox]]
|{{Header text|This comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], 
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], and [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped put it together. It was on the front page from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01] until [[2446: Spike Proteins]] released Monday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210405130031/http://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-05].

Each person has a link to their name, the first being a personal homepage, and the other six linking to their Twitter accounts. Five of these people also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header is related only to this comic, it was removed from the front page and continued as a permanent header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 2020-04-04]
[[2288: Collector's Edition]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was only on the front page for about 1 day, around the 3rd or [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 4th of April] 2020, the day before [[2289: Scenario 4]] came out, and the header text returned to normal.

Each name credited has either a personal homepage or a Twitter profile, except for the last name, which isn't linked.

As this header text was only relevant to this comic, it was removed as the front page header and stayed as a permanent header to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20171214171157/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-12-14]
[[1928: Seven Years]]
|{{Header text| Becky Beaton, sister of fellow cartoonist Kate Beaton, 
has also been diagnosed with cancer.

You can support her treatment [https://www.youcaring.com/beckybeaton-1008390 here].}}
|This text was released as a response to the cancer diagnosis of Becky Beaton, the sister of {{w|Kate Beaton}}, the author of the webcomic [http://www.harkavagrant.com/ Hark! A Vagrant]. Although this is not on Randall's list of ''[[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics he enjoys]]'', he is clearly influenced by a cancer diagnosis among someone in his creative field.

Despite the fact that the support page was discontinued, this text continues to stay on this comic. Making this weirder is the fact that Randall has previously done something similar for another friend, Emily, but [[#2014-11-27_-_Help_Emily|that header]] was not made permanent.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES WOOO!!}}
[[1975: Right Click]]
|{{Header text|A number of people collaborated to build this comic, including 
[https://chromakode.com/ @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/aiiane/ Amber] [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest/ @fadinginterest] 
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501/ Kat], [https://twitter.com/cotrone/ Kevin], and [https://90d.ca/ Stereo].
|This comic gave credit to the people that helped Randall put together that year's April Fools' Day comic. Most contributors mentioned in this text have also helped with other comics since then. Each link in the text took you to either the contributors' social media page or their own personal website.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20170428041338/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-04-28]
[[1830: ISS Solar Transit 2]]
|{{Header text|Previously:}} {{Header link|[[1828: ISS Solar Transit|ISS Solar Transit]]}}
|This header links back to [[1828: ISS Solar Transit]], a comic with the same joke setup released on the Monday of the same week
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES!}}
[[1738: Moon Shapes]]
|{{Header text|Thank you to Phil Plait for the correction on #4!}}
|This header gives credit to Phil Plait, who corrected a mistake in the comic and prompted Randall to update the comic after its release.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161010215516/http://xkcd.com/1723/ 2016-10-10]
[[1723: Meteorite Identification]]
|{{Header text|Note: Jolyon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], made a similar chart way before me!}}
|This Header text gives credit to Joylon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], who made a very similar comic to this long before Randall. This Header text is permanently attached to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160512102325/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-05-12]
[[1679: Substitutions 3]]
|{{notice|FInd the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This comic was the third installment of the ''Substitutions'' series. As he did the same with [[#Substitutions 2|the second]], the header text is very similar.

This header text is a permanent staple of this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161231231600/http://xkcd.com/1663/ 2016-04-04]
[[1663: Garden]]
|{{Header text|Protip: If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it. 
You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}
|This comic had a header text to help people use the comic when it came out. It was the global header text for some time, before it disappeared from the main header and remained as the header for Garden.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160104171722/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-01-04]
[[1625: Substitutions 2]]
|{{notice|Find the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This header text was used as a link to the previous installment of the ''substitutions'' series. When [[xkcd_Header_text#Substitutions_3|Substitutions 3]], Randall made a separate header text linking to Substitutions 1 and 2. It was on the main page while the comic was up, and continues as a header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|[F]AR[T]CHIVES}}
[[1446: Landing]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|A big thank-you to [https://www.planetary.org/blogs/emily-lakdawalla/ Emily Lakdawalla] for help and advice on this comic.}}}}}
|This header gives credit to Emily Lakdawalla, who helped Randall create the comic, which was a live comic-based recreation of the landing of Philae, a probe designed by the ESA to land on Comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. It is assumed that Emily was the reason that Randall was able to get current information about the landing so quickly.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|{{notice|notice|notice|notice|}}
[[1127: Congress]]
|{{Header text|You can get this comic as a [https://store.xkcd.com/products/congress-poster poster]!
|This header text is the only one to be a permanent header text promoting the store. At the time of writing (November 2025), the store is offline, meaning that this link doesn't work. This is the most recent comic-specific header text to promote the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-07-09]
[[1079: United Shapes]]
|{{Header text|There's a larger version of this map 
[http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ here] (Colorado is [http://xkcd.com/1079/colorado/ here]). 
It's also available as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#StateMap poster].}}
|This header was only on July 9th, 2012, the day this comic came out. The day after, every page except the front page displayed [[xkcd_Header_text#2012-07-10_-_New:_what-if.xkcd.com|a different header]].

On the 13th of July, other pages had a new version of the header above. Later, 1079 gained a special combined header text, removing the part about Colorado and consolidating the unique header text into a single sentence. The new global header text, promoting the first installment of the What if? blog, was inserted below the unique text, creating a very unique combination header. Possibly due to a bug, the What if? announcement remains on the comic to this day, despite the fact that it was a normal global header, which changed for all other pages many years ago.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|Put me down as 'not excited'}}
[[1052: Every Major's Terrible]]
|{{Header text|Cool--someone's already taken a crack at [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1VhsNOwPU/ singing this]!
|This header text promoted an attempt at someone singing the comic, which was a parody of the {{w|Major-General's Song}}. It links to a YouTube video of the attempt. As seen from the text, this header was not up with the release of the comic, but instead came out later.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120425220409/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-25]
[[1047: Approximations]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Lots of emails mention the physicist favorite, 1 year = pi x 107 seconds. 
75^4 is a hair more accurate, but it's hard to top 3,141,592's elegance.}}}}}
|This comic has a permanent header text stating that many people emailed Randall about a separate approximation for the amount of seconds in a year. However, because the earliest archive already shows this text, it is unlikely that Randall actually received these emails before changing the text.

This header text was unique to this comic from the start, as other comics contained the global header text at the time of 1047's release date.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120401151639/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-01]
[[1037: Umwelt]]
|{{Header text|You can get posters, prints, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store].}}
|This comic's header text promotes the xkcd store permanently. Despite the fact that the comic was on the front page, this was a comic-exclusive header from the very beginning, as other comics had the global header text on 1037's release date.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120319130702/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-19]
[[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]]
|{{Header text|A helpful reader has provided an [https://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 s/keyboard/leopard/ user script].}}
|In response to the joke of this comic, a reader created a browser extension that replaces each instance of the word 'keyboard' with the word 'leopard'. Randall appears to have gotten this script before its official release, as it was already on the header on the day the comic was released. While the link does not go anywhere useful any longer, an archived version of the link can be accessed [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321174019/http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 here].

When [[1032: Networking]] came out on [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321205835/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-03-21], the header text had returned to how it was before.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111229043804/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-12-29]
[[996: Making Things Difficult]]
|{{Header text|Some context for the cancer comics: 
[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/]}}
|This header text links to Randall's [[Blag]], providing context for the recent comics relating to cancer. Around that time, his then-fiancee was diagnosed with Stage three Breast Cancer, which resulted in more emotional comics relating to cancer, leaving many readers confused.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120404110059/http://xkcd.com:80/980 2012-04-04]
[[980: Money]]
|{{Header text|This one was fun (and exhausting) to make. 
There's a poster of it in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/money-poster store]!}}
|This header text links to the store page for this comic, containing a large poster of the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111115231643/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-11-15]
[[977: Map Projections]]
|{{Header text|It turns out Monday was Steve Waterman's birthday. 
His [https://web.archive.org/web/20111118003418/http://www.watermanpolyhedron.com/ site] has posters of his map, 
plus maybe the world's only Winkel Tripel-critiquing poetry.}}
|This header text mentions the birthday of Steve Waterman, and links to the homepage of his website.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA, THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!}}
[[931: Lanes]]
|{{Header text|[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Some context].}}
|This header text gave context to the comic, which was in relation to cancer. At that point, Randall's wife was battling {{w|Breast cancer}}, so cancer was a major part of Randall's life at that point in time.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|HO-HO, HEE-HEE, HA-HA}}
[[920: YouTube Parties]]
|{{Header text|Oops! It seems I [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/07/04/oops/ wasn't the first one] to do this joke.}}
|This header text, which is very similar to the header text for [[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]], admits that Randall was accidentally inspired by a different comic which had done the same joke earlier. The link in the text took you to a blag post admitting to the accidental plagiarism.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|weer}}
[[896: Marie Curie]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic might be familiar to a few dozen of you. :) 
P.S. [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a message to those who 'might be familar' with the comic. The second was to promote a new Blag post, titled ''Michael Bay's Scenario''.
|
|-
|{{notice|Boneless Chicken}}
[[870: Advertising]]
|{{Header text|Note: This comic's filename was originally 'advertising.png'. If you 
couldn't see it, that was just your AdBlock zealously protecting you.}}}
|This header text let readers know about an issue with the comic not showing up that some users were experiencing. The comic was, apparently, being shown by displaying a PNG of the comic, which people's AdBlockers were mistaking for an advertisement, preventing the comic from appearing.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|8,866,550}}
[[865: Nanobots]]
|{{Header text|xkcd.com now has IPv6 connectivity. If [https://test-ipv6.com/ you] can't reach it, you or your 
ISP have [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPv6_brokenness_and_DNS_whitelisting/ misconfigured equipment]. Sadly, I now have no way to tell you.}}
|This comic's header lets readers know that xkcd supports IPv6 (Internet Protocol Version Six) connectivity, which assigns each device with an IP address and increases the amount of possible IP addresses to over 900 Undecillion. It also tells readers that if they are unable to access that connectivity, either they or their ISP haven't configured their equipment correctly. However, Randall admits he has no way to tell readers which end has the issue.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|2011-01-04
[[851: Na]]
|{{Header text|I can't ''believe'' I forgot Hey Jude. 
I don't get do-overs, but I couldn't resist making [https://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/ a fixed version].}}
|This header text appeared after Randall made this comic, consisting of songs known for repeating the lyric 'na'. After realizing he forgot 'Hey Jude' by {{w|The Beatles}}, he made a separate version of the comic with 'Hey Jude' included. See more in the comic's [[851:_Na#Trivia|trivia section]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|Neenannerneenannerneenannerneenanner}}
[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://www.smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weiner]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the last one before returning to normal. This header lets leaders know about who contributed to the comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Zach Weinersmith}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|choking on your alibis}}
[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://overcompensating.com/ Jeffrey Rowland]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the fourth one of five. It lets the readers know who contributed and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}}, author of the webcomic [https://www.wigucomics.com/oc/index.php?/ Overcompensating].
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|But it's just the price I pay!}}
[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://foxtrot.com Bill Amend]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the third one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Bill Amend}}, author of the webcomic {{w|FoxTrot}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|not nice}}
[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [http://www.buttercupfestival.com David Troupes]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the second one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was David Troupes, author of the webcomic {{w|Buttercup Festival}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|eciton}}
[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://questionablecontent.net Jeph Jacques]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was to let readers know of Guest Week, this comic being the first of five guest comics. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeph Jacques}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Questionable Content}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|meweeeeeeewrr}}
[[802: Online Communities 2]]
|{{Header text|Full view [https://xkcd.com/802_large/ here], poster [https://store.xkcd.com/products/online-communities-poster here]. Note: While I was working on this, 
Ethan Bloch posted [https://web.archive.org/web/20120111133638/https://www.flowtown.com/blog/the-2010-social-networking-map his own update] of my {{xkcd|256|my 2007 map}}. Check it out, too!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a larger version of the comic and also promote its poster, which could be found in the xkcd store before it was shut down. The second is to promote the fact that one Ethan Bloch had created his own update of {{xkcd|256|comic 256}}. The link above now takes you to an archive link as the original site is now defunct.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20100514072436/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-12]
[[739: Malamanteau]]
|{{Header text| At Wikipedia's request, I release this comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This comic's header text mentions that this specific comic is released under a Creative Commons 3.0 license. The link in the header text goes to the page regarding the Attribution Share-Alike 3.0 United States (CC BY-SA 3.0 US) license. Normally, xkcd is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 (CC BY-NC 2.5) license.

This comic's header didn't appear until between 2 and 4 months after it was published, with the earliest archive with the custom header text being from [https://web.archive.org/web/20100913003146/http://xkcd.com/739/ September 13th].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|ow}}
[[681: Gravity Wells]]
|{{Header text|Click on the comic to view the full-size version}}
|This simple header text lets readers know that, if they want a full-size version, they can click on the comic to access it.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|whuiae}}
[[657: Movie Narrative Charts]]
|{{Header text|This comic is also available as a poster [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters/products/movie-narrative-charts-poster here]! 
Click on today's comic to view the full-size version!}}
|This header text served two purposes. The first was to promote the fact that the comic could be acquired as a poster in the store before it was shut down. The second purpose was to let readers know that, if they wanted a larger version of the comic, they could access it by clicking on the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|archive find}}
[[645: RPS]]
|{{Header text|Comic today's you confuses [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_Polish_notation here] click if.}}
|This header text was a parody of the comic, being written in {{w|Reverse Polish notation}}. In normal notation, it would be read as 'Click here if today's comic confuses you', with the word 'here' linking to the Wikipedia page for Reverse Polish notation.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard}}
[[580: The Race: Part 4]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the last comic in the series and was released on a Thursday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 2}}
[[579: The Race: Part 3]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the third comic in the series, and was released on the normal release date of Wednesday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 3}}
[[578: The Race: Part 2]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the second installment in the series, being released on a Tuesday. This comic was also where the '(through Friday)' portion of the header got added. It's possible that people got confused and assumed that Randall would release 7 comics over 7 days, when he would actually be only releasing comics every day until Friday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 4}}
[[577: The Race: Part 1]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day.}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the first installment in the series, and was released on a Monday
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Those is great pants!}}
[[563: Fermirotica]]
|{{Header text|There are xkcd prints available in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
[https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=sqrt(2%2F(pi*18000%2F(mi^2)*80%2Fyear*30+minutes) Example Google sex calculation]
|This header served two purposes. It promoted the fact that you could get xkcd prints in the xkcd store before it was shut down, and also gave an example of the content shown in the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20081014232952/http://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-13]
[[488: Steal This Comic]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Note: the [https://www.amazon.com/MP3-Music-Download/b?ie=UTF8&node=163856011 Amazon.com MP3 store] sells DRM-free music. Kudos.}}}}}
|This comic and header text was made as a complaint of Digital Rights Management, or {{w|DRM}}. The header text makes a proclamation that the Amazon MP3 store sells DRM-free music, telling his readers how to acquire music not affected by DRM.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|You're doing it again}}
[[482: Height]]
|{{Header text|This comic is available as [https://store.xkcd.com/products/height-poster a poster print].}}
|This simple header served the purpose of advertising the fact that you could get this comic as a poster in the xkcd store, before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-05]
[[472: House of Pancakes|472: House of Pancakes]]
|{{Header text|(Today's comic is a parody of [https://www.amazon.com/House-Leaves-Mark-Z-Danielewski/dp/0375703764 House of Leaves].)}}
|When this comic was the newest, it was shown on the front page of xkcd, as seen here the day after release on [https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-06]. However, this header was only on this comic, and the normal header returned to the front page after comic 473 was released.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|the right ones}}
[[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
See: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0 Original Discovery Channel video]
|This header text serves to let the reader know of a video which they could watch, which contains the song that the comic is a parody of.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|where is my Spanish rn}}
[[433: Journal 5]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the final one in the series.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Before the nouns}}
[[432: Journal 4]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the fourth one in the series of five.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|This is let's write}}
[[426: Geohashing]]
|{{Header text|What is this about? See the [https://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/ wiki].}}
|This header text allowed the reader to do further research on the topic by linking to the official xkcd wiki, which was part of the long-defunct [[Forums]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|We will ever run out?}}
[[405: Journal 3]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|377|Journal 2}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series. Unlike the other installments of the Journal series, this text linked to the previous installment rather than the first installment.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Es el diablo}]
[[343: 1337: Part 3]]
|{{Header text|For use on Wikipedia, I release this particular 
comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This header text served the purpose of letting readers know that Randall had specially released this comic under a CC BY-SA 3.0 license, allowing for the image to be uploaded to {{w|Wikipedia}}. Normally, Randall normally releases his comics under a CC BY-NC 2.5 license, which, at the time, was not allowed to be uploaded to Wikipedia.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|}

{| class="sortable wikitable"
! Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" style=max-width:4em |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" | Purpose
|-
|From[https://web.archive.org/web/20260107215729/https://xkcd.com/3190/ 2026-01-07] {{nowrap|(during [[3190: Tensegrity]])}} until present.
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. This was the first change in the header text in over a year, and the first time the header text went to the standard text after almost exactly 4 straight years of book promotions.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241205201038/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[3020: Infinite Armada Chess]])}} until FIND
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]— 
revised and annotated with brand-new illustrations 
and answers to important questions you never thought to ask—Out now. 
Order it [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this text and the previous global header text is the final hyphen. The first link goes to the page for the new what if? book on xkcd, with the other link going to the Harper Collins (the publisher) page for the book. This header was up for over a year, except for the one month when Randall [[#2024-10-16 - Promotion of Kamala Harris for president|endorsed Harris]] for president. This makes it the longest time that ever that the header text has been left unchanged.

Because the previous header texts as well as the [[Countdown in header text|Header text countdown]] all promoted some sort of what if? book, the header has been continuously used to promote what if? for nearly 4 years at the time of writing.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241116184702/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-11-16] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241204160618/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-04] {{nowrap|(during [[3019: Advent Calendar Advent Calendar]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this header text and the next one was that during this time period, only preorders were available.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241017002108/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2999: Bad Map Projection: The United Stralia]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241115181146/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2024-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}}
|[[File:xkcd homepage strip harris for president.png|400x400px]]
|This header text was Randall's official endorsement of {{w|Kamala Harris}} for President during the {{w|2024 United States presidential election}}. He also posted the same image on his[https://x.com/xkcd/status/1853098106667114801 Twitter (formally X)] account and on his [https://bsky.app/profile/xkcd.com/post/3la2jku6ace2f Bluesky] account on November 3rd, two days before the election.

This text was up until November 11th, after the election had taken place and {{w|Donald Trump}} was declared the winner.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240515200351/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2933: Elementary Physics Paths]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241015192147/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2998: Ravioli-Shaped Objects]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|This text promotes the preorder of the 10th anniversary edition of the original what if? book. The first link goes to the page for the book on xkcd and the other link goes to the book's Harper Collins page (Harper Collins is the book's publisher). The same text was displayed after Randall's endorsement of Kamala Harris for president.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240320173158/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[2909: Moon Landing Mission Profiles]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240514034349/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2932: Driving PSA]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is on YouTube! The first video answers 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed Hubble at Earth?]” Follow the 
[https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif What If?] channel to be notified about new videos.}}}}}
|This header promotes the new what if? {{w|YouTube}} channel, in which Randall narrates a post on the what if? blog. At this point, the global header text had been promoting what if? for over two years.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20231129184009/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2861: X Value]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240319134138/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2908: Moon Armor Index]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is now on YouTube! 
Check out the first video for the answer to 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?]” 
and follow [https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif xkcd’s What If? The Video Series channel] to be notified about each new video.}}}}}
|This header promotes the what if? YouTube channel, narrated by Randall. The first link goes to the what if? page on xkcd, and the other two go to the new YouTube channel. A small change occurred [https://web.archive.org/web/20240314113602/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-14], where the first two lines became one line, making the alignment worse. This new version only lasted five days before a change was made, replacing it with a different, although very similar, header text.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230831200321/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-31]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2822: *@gmail.com]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20231128174224/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[2860: Decay Modes]])}}
|{{Header text| What if? 2 is [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/#UK now available] in paperback in the UK!}}
|This header text promotes the paperback version of what if? 2, notifying readers that it was available in the UK. The link goes to the page on xkcd about the what if? 2 book, and directing to the UK order link, where there was now an option to order a paperback copy.

An image was placed above the text, showing the front cover of the new book. Because this was not specifically related to what if? 2, it ended a streak of over 22 months where the header text was constantly promoting the book since the [[#2022-01-10_-_Standard_text_with_countdown|countdown]] began in January 2022.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230217185629/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2739: Data Quality]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230830064414/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2821: Path Minimization]])}}
|[[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|300x300px]]
|This header has no text, only an image of the front cover of the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220923182825/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-23]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230216181705/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2738: Omniknot]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 bestseller.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header consists of two images, with the one promoting the NYT bestseller list on the left.

This header somewhat obviously celebrates the fact that what if? 2, shortly after release, had claimed a spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913142432/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2672: What If? 2 Flowchart]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220922150042/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 out now.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header announces the release of Randall's what if? 2 book.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the book's page on the xkcd website.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-12]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913134002/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2671: Rotation]])}}
|[[File:one day till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to what had come out just two days before, which instead displayed an image showing 3 days.

The {{w|Les Miserables}} song mentioned is ''One Day More'', which is a fitting title for a song stuck in his head.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the xkcd page for ''what if? 2''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220911102450/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until 2022-09-12 (during [[2670: Interruption]])
|[[File:3 days till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to the header showing one week. which came out 4 days beforehand, and the header showing one day, which came out just one day after this header released.

Each image is a link, both taking you to the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220907211736/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]

From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220910024549/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}}
|[[File:1 week till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the third straight header to feature a two-image design, where the countdown was on the left and the book's cover was on the right.

It promoted the soon-to-be-released ''what if? 2'' book, which had been heavily promoted for nearly two weeks up to that point.

Each image is a link, which takes you the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220811055445/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-11]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2657: Complex Vowels]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220816124823/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20220827232205/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-27]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2664: Cloud Swirls]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220906191403/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}}
|[[File:Preorder what if? 2 header.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text, which advertised the fact that preorders were open for ''what if? 2'', was the global header text for two different stints. Instead of this being the global header from August 11th until September 6th, it was interrupted for 9 days while Randall's book tour was ongoing.

The image to the left was a link, which took you to a [https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 what if? 2 contest]. In this contest, one contestant's question would be answered by Randall and included in the book.

The image to the right takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220817161136/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220826202043/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2663: Tetherball Configurations]])}}
|[[File:what if? 2 book tour.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the first header of several to consist of two distinct images, and the third straight to contain the image of the book's cover after the countdown ended.

It promotes a book tour that Randall was taking at the time, to promote ''what if? 2''. Clicking the image took you to the [https://xkcd.com/events/ events page] of xkcd. At the time, it showed you a calendar with each planned stop on the book tour marked, covering the US and London.

The image on the right takes you to ''what if? 2'''s dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220719153239/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-19]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2647: Capri Suns]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220810034709/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2656: Scientific Field Prefixes]])}}
|{{Header text|Preorder What If? 2 (all US preorders eligible) and}} {{Header link|[https://sites.prh.com/whatif2/ enter our contest]}} {{Header text|for a chance to win a dedicated comic and What If blog post!}}[[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header contains text which promotes what if? 2, which was recently made available to preorder at that time.

Clicking the link in the text takes you to a site which allowed users to compete to have their question, along with an answer, be put in the book. While this link is now defunct, you can access an archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718171904/https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 here].

Clicking the image of the book's cover takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220201000434/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-02-01]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2575: What If? 2]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718145816/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[2646: Minkowski Space]])}}
|{{Header text|What If? 2: Additional Serious Scientific Answers to 
Absurd Hypothetical Questions comes out 9/13. 
Preorder [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ here!]}} [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text was the first header to promote ''what if? 2''. It promoted the fact that preorders were available, and that the book would come out 7 months later, on September 13th.

It also was the first of many headers promoting the book to consist of two parts, this one having some lines of text and an image of the book's cover.

This header's release coincided with multiple changes to the site, including a comic which also announced the new book and a change to the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#xkcd_links|xkcd links]] section of the site at the top-left corner. It now included links to books, and especially to this specific book.

The image of the book's cover, the link in the text, and the comic itself are all links to the book's dedicated xkcd page.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220110183238/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-10]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220131124817/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-31] {{nowrap|(during [[2574: Autoresponder]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}

[[File: Countdown in header text full animation.gif|200x200px]]
|This header text was an image, which slowly zoomed out and moved to reveal a promotion for ''What if? 2'', along with the standard header text.

In the image, there was a countdown, which began reading '''20d 22h 0m''' and ticked down every minute until only ten minutes were left. At that point, the image began shaking, and the countdown began counting seconds until it reached zero, at which point the final frame, which showed a snapshot of the book's cover, was displayed for a few minutes before the header text updated and the next comic came out.

When viewing the archives, the countdown actually still functions, and follows the internal clock of the user's computer for 59 minutes.

For a full transcript and explanation of this header, see [[Countdown in header text]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220108044654/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-08]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until 2022-01-10 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This header text was a return to the standard header text, which had not appeared as the global header since [[#2018-11-07 - Back to standard text|November 7th, 2018]], making this the longest period of time without the standard header text appearing even once.

As the [[#2022-01-10 - Standard text with countdown|countdown]] was added to it on the tenth, it was only the global header in this form for two days.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20211220211220/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-20]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2557: Immunity]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220106100957/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2564: Sunshield]])}}
|{{Header text|For anyone trying to find What If? this year, 
it's in stock at [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 Barnes & Noble], [https://m.booksamillion.com/p/What-If/Randall-Munroe/9780544272996 Books-a-Million], and [https://bookshop.org/books/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-9781483041827/9780544272996 Bookshop]}}
|This header text mentions the fact that, for anybody who wishes to purchase what if? for Christmas, it was in stock at multiple different book retailers. Each link is the corresponding store's link for ''[[What If? (book)|What If?]]''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200604003700/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-03]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2315: Eventual Consistency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20211219202204/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2556: Turing Complete]])}}
|[[File:BLM Header.png|200x200px]]
|This header promoted {{w|Black lives Matter}}, showing a single-panel comic with [[Cueball]] (possibly representing [[Randall]]), saying 'Black Lives Matter' with a grey box next to him reading '[https://www.joincampaignzero.org/ How To Help]'. However, instead of just this box being a link, the entire image is a link to joining Campaign Zero, a part of the BLM movement.

It came out shortly after the {{w|Killing of George Floyd}}, which sparked {{w|George Floyd protests|large protests in the US}} and received large amount of national and global media coverage. This header stayed for over 18 months, making this possibly the longest-staying header in xkcd history.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200602213017/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2314: Carcinization]])}}
|''(no header text)''
|This was the first time that xkcd had gone without a header, especially for an extended period of time. After the previous header was removed, no header was inserted in its place, not even the standard go-to header. It stayed empty for almost two months, until the BLM header was inserted.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-04]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2288: Collector's Edition]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}}
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This header text was only up for one day, and gives credit to those who put together the 2020 [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which had taken two extra days to release due to 'technical reasons' (see the previous header). While this header was only up for one comic, and continues as a comic-specific header, this was a global header while the April Fools' comic was on the front page.

Oddly, when this header was removed after [[2289: Scenario 4]], no header came to replace it, leading to a 2-month period where there was no global header text at all.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200402234828/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200403012612/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|{{Header text|Note: For technical reasons Wednesday's comic will be posted Thursday instead.}} 
{{Header text|Apologies for the delay!}}
|This header come directly before 2020's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]]. It apologized for the delay of the comic, stating that technical difficulties along with the overall complexity of the comic pushed its release date back one day, meaning the comic was posted on a Thursday instead of the usual Wednesday.

This comic was the first in over a year to not promote How To?, and was the first to not promote a book since [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06].

This delayed upload schedule created circumstances which made it so [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]] stayed two extra days on the front page, meaning the third comic of the week, [[2289: Scenario 4]], was uploaded [[2289:_Scenario_4#Trivia|on a Saturday]].
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122214439/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2232: Hotel Room Party]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191201191025/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2235: Group Chat Rules]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20200116190038/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200401221435/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|[[File:How To Header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the global header for two distinct stints, being interrupted by the Christmas promotion of the book. It was also the last header to promote How To, which had continuously been promoted in the global header text for over a year at that point.

It gives a quick promotion of the book in an image, followed by multiple links which take you to different websites where you can purchase the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191202223745/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2236: Is it Christmas?]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200115155040/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 2.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], 
[https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the Christmas promotion of Randall's new book, How To. Despite the fact that it was solely meant to promote the book for the Christmas season, it remained up until January 16th.

This header was very similar to the previous header, with the only changes being made to the image.

Each link in the text takes you to each brand's respective page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191106204314/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122044456/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2231: the Time Before And After Land]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 3.png|400x400px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world/id1475319694 Apple], [https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems/369279 Audiobooks], [https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/How-To-Audiobook/1473680360?qid=1574679523&sr=1-1&pf_rd_p=c6e316b8-14da-418d-8f91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=DX3EZ14M14CFQPP9GHJY&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1 Audible], [https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Randall_Munroe_How_To?id=LzSGDwAAQBAJ Google Play], and [https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9780525635680 Libro.fm]}}}}}
|This header text was used to promote How To, which had come out a couple months beforehand. As always, clicking anywhere on the image takes you to the [https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/576760/how-to/ book's page on Penguin Random House], where you could find the audio sample.

Each of the links takes you to that brand's respective page for How To. This is also the latest header text to promote any sort of audio.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191002005854/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191105164001/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 4.png]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be at New York Comic Con! 
I'm giving [https://www.newyorkcomiccon.com/Explore/Panels/Panels-And-Screenings/#/event/how-todo-anything-with-randall-munroe-creator-of-xkcd a talk on Thursday], and on Friday 
[https://smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weinersmith] and I will be hosting [https://www.caveat.nyc/event/how-to--absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems-10-4-2019 an event at Caveat NYC].}}}}}
|This Header simultaneously promotes the book How To, with each of the links in the first part of the text going to the brand's respective pages for the book, and the fact that Randall would be going to the {{w|New York Comic Con}}, a multi-day comic book fan convention.

It states that Randall would be giving a presentation that Thursday at the Comic Con, and would also be hosting an event at Caveat NYC, an event venue on the island of Manhattan.

Over the course of this header's existence, small changes were made, but nothing major enough to be granted its own row.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190930234245/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2209: Fresh Pears]])}} until 2019-10-02 ''(no archived version)'' {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 5.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This header features [[Cueball]], representing [[Randall]], commenting on how How To, the book this header was promoting, was 'tons of fun' to write, and that it can be preordered by clicking a blue link. As always, there are no HTML image maps used, meaning that clicking anywhere on the image will take you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.

Each link provided below the image takes you to each brand's page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190911053115/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190929223547/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2208: Drone Fishing]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 6.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible]}}}}}
|This Header text was used to promote the fact that How To, which had been released just a few days prior. After the header promoting the book's release date was removed, this Header took its place. The image consists of an image of the book's cover, with some decoration around it, and text beneath it. This text provides links which go to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The image also states that {{w|Serena Williams}} and {{w|Chris Hadfield}} featured in the book, which they do. Serena Williams' presence in the book is also mentioned in the [[:Category:Book promotion|promotion comic]] [[2190: Serena Versus the Drones|''Serena Versus the Drones''.]]

Serena Williams is a retired professional tennis player and former world #1 on the {{w|Women's Tennis Association}}'s rankings. u

Chris Hadfield is a retired Canadian astronaut, singer, engineer, and former Royal Canadian Air Force fighter pilot. He served on two space shuttle missions and has spent five months as the commander of the {{w|International Space Station}}.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190904051509/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[2198: Throw]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190909211737/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 7.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text celebrated the release date of How To.

The image consists of an image with two images of the book shown, with a drawing of [[Cueball]] riding two quadcopters up to change a lightbulb in a ceiling lamp, while two other characters are watching, one of whom is holding a ladder. Beneath the image are links to order to book from various sites, and clicking the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190903051503/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 8.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text was a joke which Randall performed on his viewers on How To's release date, which is tailored so that an average xkcd reader would get it. It jokes that there are two different versions of the book for two differing calendar systems. The Gregorian calendar (the calendar we use today) replaced the Julian calendar because the latter had an issue, which caused an increasing discrepancy between the actual date and the weather associated with it. The Gregorian calendar is much more accurate in terms of the solar year.

Because of this increasing discrepancy, the date shown on the Julian calendar is 13 days (now 15) behind the date shown on the Gregorian Calendar.

This header was only up for a day, and it was changed to a more normal celebration the next day.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190827082224/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-27] {{nowrap|(during [[2194: How to Send a File]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190902042108/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|My new book, How To, comes out next week!}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|Read an exclusive excerpt about transmission [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/26/how-to-send-a-file/ here].}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header simply promotes the new book How To, and the fact it was out in a week. Unlike the multiple headers promoting How To both before and after this one, it consists solely of a few lines of text. It provides links to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The second line also contains a link to one of his blog posts, which contains an excerpt from one of the chapters.

A later version of the header included these links, as well as a link to the book tour. The page now contained the winner of the book tour contest, {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}. Despite the fact that this wasn't a countdown, it stayed up until the book's release date on September 3rd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190826062701/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2193: Well-Ordering Principle]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 9.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder ''How To'': [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This image promotes a contest which allows a US reader to win a sketch of themselves in his new book, How To, which would come out that September. It also contains a number of links which go to the respective brand's dedicated page for the book.

Clicking on the image takes you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/05/win-an-xkcd-sketch/ blag post] about the event, titled ''Win an xkcd sketch''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190803222711/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 10.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This Header, like many of those which came both before and after it, promotes the new book How To, which was coming out in just under a month at the time. This image promotes said fact, with an image of the book's cover to the left of the text.

Below the image, there are four links, each taking you to the respective brand's page for the book, allowing you to preorder it.

Clicking on the image took you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/02/how-to-chapter-list-and-introduction/ blag post] titled ''How To Chapter List and Introduction'', which contained How To's table of contents and introduction.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190710165920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190714175710/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2175: Flag Interpretation]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190723205152/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190802192259/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text, like many which had come before and after it, promotes How To, a book which, at the time, would have been releasing in about 2 months. It had two distinctive stints as the header text, being interrupted by the promotion of his ComiCon appearance for about a week.

This header was the first header to include preorder links below the image, each taking you to a specific brand's page to preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190715181016/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2176: How Hacking Works]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190722192637/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Going to San Diego Comic Con this week? I'll [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/07/15/san-diego-comic-con/ see you there]!}}}}}
|This header text was a brief break from the [[How To]] promotion, instead promoting a talk which he would give at that year's San Diego Comic Con. During the Con, he gave a talk and appeared in some panels, before finally handing out signed copies of [[How To]] almost a month before its official release.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190709162102/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]
|This header was used solely to promote [[How To]], which would be coming out in 3 months at the time. It shows images of the book's cover, with miscellaneous drawings from How To scattered throughout the middle of the image, with text promoting the book. This header only stayed up for a day in this style, before adding a line of links showing where to preorder the book below the image.

Clicking on the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190625190843/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-25] {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190708155517/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-08] {{nowrap|(during [[2172: Lunar Cycles]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 12.png|500x500px]]
|This simplistic header promoted a contest which allowed for the readers of xkcd to choose a town which the How To book tour would visit. Clicking on the image takes you to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ a blag post] outlining the contest details. Using only book titles, you were instructed to create a story, with the longest sentence improving your chances of winning. The image visualized what submissions may look like, with 15 people standing side by side, each holding a book. The eventual winner of this contest was {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}.

From left to right, the characters visualized in the image are [[Megan]], [[Cueball]], a man with blonde hair, [[Jill]], [[Blondie]], two [[Hairy]]s, [[White Hat]], a kid with curly hair, [[Hairbun]], Cueball, Megan, [[Knit Cap]], [[Ponytail]], and [[Beret Guy]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190615100645/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2163: Chernobyl]]}} until 2019-06-25 {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 13.png|500x500px]]
|This header, similar to the previous one, promoted the How To book tour, which Randall would shortly be going on. The image is almost exactly the same as the previous one, with the only change being a link reading '[Click here for dates and tickets]'. While the reason for the change is not known, our best guess is that readers didn't realize that the image was a link, so Randall added this line for clarity.

The entire image, not just the blue text, is a link to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] officially announcing the book tour, with all the cities and dates which Randall would visit listed out.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190611031920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2161: An Apple a Day]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190614094729/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2162: Literary Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 14.png|500x500px]]
|This header was the first to promote the [[How To]] book tour. It showed a map of the United States with dots representing the location of each city he would be visiting, with one dot outside the map indicating the city which would be chosen by readers. The list of cities is as follows:

*September 3rd
*[[How to]]
*{{w|Seattle}}
*{{w|Portland, Oregon|Portland}}
*{{w|San Francisco}}
*{{w|Santa Cruz, California|Santa Cruz}}
*{{w|Los Angeles}}
*{{w|Salt Lake City}}
*{{w|Kansas City metropolitan area|Kansas City}}
*{{w|Ann Arbor, Michigan|Ann Arbor}}
*{{w|Cincinnati}}
*{{w|Louisville, Kentucky|Louisville}}
*{{w|Cambridge, Massachusetts|Cambridge}}
*{{w|New York City|New York}}
*{{w|Washington, D.C.|D.C.}}
*{{w|Raleigh, North Carolina|Raleigh}}
*????? (Chosen by readers)

The entire image links to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] announcing the book tour and detailing the contest used to determine the reader-chosen city.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190422030324/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2139: Email Settings]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190517103928/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190610055519/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-06-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2160: Ken Burns Theory]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 15.png|300x300px]]{{nowrap|{{Header text|{{{1|<big><big>HOW TO</big></big>

ABSURD SCIENTIFIC ANSWERS TO COMMON REAL-WORLD PROBLEMS

Available September 3, 2019.

Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}}}
|This complex header was the first to promote [[How To]]. It officially announced the book and provided links where a reader could preorder the book. It served two distinct stints, each lasting over a month, being interrupted by the promotion of the e-newsletter subscription promotion.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190423155458/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2140: Reinvent the Wheel]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190516100403/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Still mourning the demise of Google Reader? 
You can sign up to get new comics delivered by email [https://xkcd.com/newsletter/ here].}}}}}
|This header interrupted the first header to promote How To in favor of promoting a subscription service which viewers could utilize as a way to be notified when a new comic was released. It mentions {{w|Google Reader}}, a popular RSS and Atom feed aggregator which had shut down on July 1st, 2013. He advertises the newsletter almost 6 years after the shutdown, using email.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190205050302/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|After a long period of sharing space with other headers during the ongoing 2018 Midterm Elections. After election day, the standard text came back, being the sole header for almost three months before Randall's announcement of [[How To]]. After the standard header text left, it wouldn't reappear for almost three years, the longest gap between standard texts at the time.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181106122850/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2068: Election Night]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]])}}
|[[File:Election Day Header but Better.png|500x500px]]
|This header text reminded xkcd readers to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. As these were highly contested, every vote counted. It gave a reminder about the fact that if the polls close while you're in line, the government must let you vote. It also provides links which give additional information about voting, where your local polling place is, and to see what was on the ballot.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181105105855/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Find out where to vote: [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].

See what's on your ballot: [https://www.ballotready.org/ BallotReady.org]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to the previous one, only adding a line below the first, taking you to a website which shows what would be on the reader's ballot before that year's election day on November 6th. It is part of a series of header texts related to the US 2018 Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181022120935/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2061: Tectonics Game]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Check your registration and find your polling place at [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].}}}}}
|This header text reminded readers to register to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. It links to vote.org, a website which allows the user to check their registrations and contains a map of polling places near your location.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard text. It returned for just a couple months, between a reminder for readers in New York to vote and for all readers to register for the main election day during the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20180913133544/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2045: Social Media Announcement]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20180914175605/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2046: Trum-]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|NY votes today! Find your polling place [https://voterlookup.elections.ny.gov/ here]. (Zephyr Teachout for AG!)}}}}}
|This short-lived header text reminded readers who lived in New York to vote on that day, as it was the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. The text links to a New York government website which allows the viewer to see which polling place was the closest to them.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard header text, this time returning for 10 months, from during December 2017 to September 2018. It stayed during the long break between Christmas and the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20171126130857/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1920: Emoji Sports]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171130150053/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1922: Interferometry]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|To anyone looking for Christmas gifts: Until Monday you can get $5 off 
[https://www.amazon.com/What-International-Scientific-Hypothetical-Questions/dp/0544456866 What If?] and [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Thing Explainer] on Amazon with coupon code GIFTBOOK17.

At Barnes & Noble, until Sunday you can get 20% off 
[https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 What If?] and [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432 Thing Explainer] using code GIVETHANKS.}}}}}
|This header text, like many others, only lasted a few days in between long stretches of standard headers. It promoted Christmas sales of [[What If?]] and [[Thing Explainer]], as well as providing a code to use on the Barnes & Noble page for the books.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170922232616/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-09-22]] {{nowrap|(during [[1893: Thread]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171010045802/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1900: Jet Lag]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be visiting the UK next week! 
You can join me in London from September 30-October 2 
(at [https://live.newscientist.com/speakers/randall-munroe New Scientist Live], [https://www.rigb.org/whats-on/events-2017/october/public-lunchtime-talk--randall-munroe The Royal Institution], 
and [https://www.intelligencesquared.com/events/randall-munroe-on-making-complicated-stuff-simple/ Intelligence Squared]), then from October 3-6 in [https://www.stpetersyork.org.uk/public_lectures/randall_munroe_thing_explainer York], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/thing-explaining-with-randall-munroe-tickets-37832289396 Edinburgh], [https://www.toppingbooks.co.uk/events/ely/randall-murray-thing-explainer/ Cambridge and Ely], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/randall-munroe-book-signing-thing-explainer-tickets-38041072873 Oxford], and [https://www.cheltenhamfestivals.com/literature/whats-on/2017/randall-munroe/ Cheltenham].}}}}}
|This header text was a promotion for public appearances around the UK between late September and early October. Each link goes to a site where you could purchase tickets to attend his appearances. Despite the fact that all of his appearances had already ended, the promotion continued until October 9th, when the header text returned back to standard.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170731021227/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-31] {{nowrap|(during [[1869: Positive and Negative Reviews]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170804152509/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-08-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1872: Backup Batteries]])}}
|[[File:Healthcare Thanks.png]]
|This header thanked readers for their efforts to stop 'The Skinny Repeal', a bill which would have repealed the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare, in the Senate. In an unexpected twist, Republican senators John McCain, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski all voted against the bill, as well as all democrats, leading the 100-member senate to veto the bill 51-49. John McCain voted 'no' just days after a brain cancer diagnosis, leading two other Republicans to do the same, vetoing the bill.

This act had an especially large effect on Randall, as this was during his wife's Breast Cancer treatment. Had the act been passed, it is possible that they would have lost their Healthcare coverage, saddling them with very large amounts of debt which they may not have been able to pay off.

The entire image is a link, which takes you to a New York Times article showing the final results of the vote, as well as how members of each party voted.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170730141019/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]])}}
|[[File:Call the Senate.png]]
|This header came just days before a Senate vote on the 'skinny repeal' act, which would have repealed major parts of the Affordable Care Act, which would have left millions of people without healthcare coverage. He asks his readers to contact their senators and ask them to vote 'no' on the bill. He provides a phone number to call, as well as recommending readers to contact their friends in multiple Republican states, whose senators were likely to vote 'yes' on the bill, and ask them to call as well.

Randall may have been motivated to do this because, at the time, his wife was going through cancer treatment. Had this bill been passed, it is possible their healthcare coverage would have been lost, leading them to attain large amounts of debt, and possibly forcing Randall to cease making comics.

This header was up until the Senate ultimately vetoed the bill 51-49, leading Randall to change the header to a 'thank you'.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170122003124/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This long-lasting header text promoted shirts and posters which could be found at the xkcd store at the time. It maintained the sales pitch of the previous header, only removing the image promoting the shirts.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128153015/https://xkcd.com 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1765: Baby Post]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170121114423/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]])}}
|[[File:New shirts header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],

along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This header promoted a Christmas sale on merchandise which was available in the xkcd store at the time. Despite the Christmas sale ending, the header remained until January 21st. The entire image was a link to the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423103108/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128093459/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1764: XKCDE]])}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header returned for a long stint between late April and late November of 2016.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404185353/https://www.xkcd.com/#5dbfbb82-fc20-11e5-8001-42010a8e000d 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1663: Garden]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423182630/https://xkcd.com:80/1663/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|'''Protip''': If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}}}}
|This header text stayed throughout most of April. It gave tips for the [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which came out with the release of this header. The header text stayed until April 23rd, at which point it became a [[xkcd_Header_text#Garden|Comic-Specific Header]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401204749/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404054612/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|''First Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.

Please stand by!}}

''Second Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.}}

{{Header text|Status update: Please stand by.}}
{{Header text|Status update: This is fine. Everything is fine.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Everything is on fire.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Searching for calendar systems in which Saturday is April 1st.}}

''Third Version'':
{{Header text|The Friday xkcd comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties}}

{{Header text|[Editor's note: Everything is on fire] and has been delayed until Sunday night.}}
|Randall is making the best of a bad situation. Just before the release of that year's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], it experienced technical difficulties forcing Randall to delay its release. The three headers changed in rapid succession while [[1662: Jack and Jill]] was still on the front page. Randall provides status updates on the comic, which quickly devolves into chaos before returning to a sense of false normalcy. This finalized header remained until the release of [[Garden]] on April 5th.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151213194534/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401125621/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Thing Explainer is available at:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header was the final header to promote Thing Explainer, which had been continuously promoted for over 10 months at that point. It provided links to places where the book could be purchased, just in time for the Christmas season.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151212133400/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1| Thing Explainer is available at: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be in [https://web.archive.org/web/20151211002159/https://www.andersonsbookshop.com/event/naperville-reads-randall-munroe Naperville, IL] and [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205205714/https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/indigo-exclusive-randall-munroe-tickets-18694384407 Toronto, ON] (with [https://qwantz.com/ Ryan North]!) next week.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. It gave links to order [[Thing Explainer]] (which makes sense. It was December, after all.), and also promoted public appearances he would be doing with Ryan North in Naperville, Illinois and Toronto, Ontario. This header continued the trend of promoting [[Thing Explainer]], which had been continually promoted since April.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151203234149/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}}
|[[File:TE images header.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text contained a large image showcasing images from [[Thing Explainer]], as well as multiple links for where to get the book. This image holds the odd record of being the largest image to ever be put into the header text (it is resized here for space). The image gets even weirder by being a link to [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0544668251/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0544668251&linkCode=as2&tag=thekcs-20&linkId=S4XRZJJKSMHOWEQU Thing Explainer on Amazon], even though a link to buy the book on amazon was also provided beneath the image. The image was only provided for two days, before being replaced by a promotion for his public appearances with Ryan North.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124201602/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1607: Supreme Court]]}} until 2015-12-02 {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}}
|''First Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

''Second Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|I'm doing a [https://www.facebook.com/AndyWeirAuthor/ live Q&A;] at 2:30pm PT with The Martian author Andy Weir.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. For most of the time it was on the front page, it solely promoted [[Thing Explainer]], and provided links where you could purchase it. However, it was shortly changed to advertise his public appearances with Andy Weir, with the link in that text taking you to his Facebook page. The image remained between the two texts, and it was a link to an [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ old Blag post] announcing Thing Explainer. However, the promotion of the public appearance only lasted one day, and as such is not important enough overall to be split into it's own section.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151022200022/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124065108/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1608: Hoverboard]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|We've [https://slate.com/technology/2015/08/no-new-polio-in-africa-for-one-year-gates-epidemiologist-on-vaccines-and-surveillance.html almost eradicated polio]. For World Polio Day, I drew a comic}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|about the eradication efforts. You can see it on [https://www.gatesnotes.com/Health/XKCD-Marks-the-Spot Bill Gates's blog].}}}}}
_________________________________________________________________
{{Header text|{{{1|My [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ new book] of complex diagrams and simple words comes out Nov 24th.}}}}}
|This header text promoted two things simultaneously, separated by a line. The top half of the header promoted a comic which Randall drew for Bill Gates' blog, celebrating the fact that {{w|Polio}} had almost been eradicated. The other header promoted [[Thing Explainer]], a book which had just released that year. The top half of the header linked to the blog post that Randall's Polio comic had appeared in, while the bottom half linked to a [[Blag]] post announcing Thing Explainer.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150923044724/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1580: Travel Ghost]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151021164208/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|News: Announcing my Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/im-going-on-a-book-trip/ book trip]. Come say hi!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|Other news: Announcing the Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/a-thing-explainer-word-checker/ word checker] tool!}}}}}
|This simplistic header promoted two things related to [[Thing Explainer]], which had released earlier that year. It promoted the Thing Explainer book tour and a tool which can help you "Write Like Up Goer Five and Thing Explainer", also known as [https://xkcd.com/simplewriter/ Simple Writer].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150906181550/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1573: Cyberintelligence]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150919220105/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1579: Tech Loops]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thing-Explainer-Randall-Munroe/dp/1473620910 Amazon.co.uk], [https://www.waterstones.com/book/thing-explainer/9781473620919 Waterstones]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to previous headers promoting [[Thing Explainer]]. The only change which occurred between the last header and this header was the addition of a line of text containing links, where you could preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150606084120/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-06-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150807181044/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1561: Water Phase Diagram]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|In other news, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing] is delightful, 
and I feel surprisingly invested in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket's] results.}}}}}
|This header text contained two sections, each talking about separate things. The upper portion of the header maintained the same promotion of [[Thing Explainer]] from the previous header, but added a couple new lines of text outlining 'other news' in his life. The first link goes to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing], a music video parody of {{w|David Bowie|David Bowie's}} [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo Space Oddity] music video using only the 1,000 most common words, inspired by [[1133: Up Goer Five]]. Along with this, there was another link which went to [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket] on Twitter. This was a large bracket inspired by [[1529: Bracket]], in which a Twitter user simulated a full bracket with each entry from the comic. After this, it returned to simply promoting the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150515060322/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150605082643/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-06-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text, like the one that came before it, promoted the fact that preorders were open for [[Thing Explainer]], which had been announced with the previous header. The image linked to a [[Blag]] post titled ''[https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ New book: Thing Explainer]''. This header remained for just under a month before other news was added.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150514053623/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1524: Dimensions]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New book: [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ Thing Explainer!]}}}}}
|This header text announced [[Thing Explainer]], a book which uses only the 1,000 most common English words at the time to explain complicated things such as the {{w|Curiosity (rover)|Curiosity Rover}} and {{w|Washing machine|Washing machines}}. When the next comic released, the header text turned to promoting the book, including providing links where you could preorder it.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150211154103/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1485: Friendship]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150512184622/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1523: Microdrones]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header text returned for about three months, between his promotion of xkcd-themed {{w|Valentine's Day}} cards and the announcement of [[Thing Explainer]]
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150204051152/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1482: NowPlaying]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150210005540/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1484: Apollo Speeches]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]
|This header was the last of the headers to promote {{w|Valentine's Day}} that year. It promoted the Valentine's Day cards which Randall had collaborated with other webcomic artists to create, and were first announced the month before. The promotion lasted until February 10th, at which point it was nearly impossible to ship cards out to customers by Valentine's Day.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150203022036/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today is the last day to order the limited-run [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart binary heart shirt]!}}}}}
|This header solely promoted the binary heart shirt, which was in the xkcd store at the time, just before that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. The header remained up until the day after the shirts were no longer available to order.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150129183442/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150201015913/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1480: Super Bowl]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]{{nowrap|[[File:Binary shirt.png]]}}
|This header promoted both special store products that Randall had created for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. He had partnered with other artists to create custom Valentine Cards, and had created a shirt which contained a heart made out of binary. This header lasted for only a few days until the header changed to promoting the last day you could order the shirts. The image promoting the shirt was a link to a https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart page] where you could purchase it.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150128172147/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}}
|{{Header text|I've teamed up with three other webcomic artists}}
{{Header text|{{{1|to make [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://store.xkcd.com/products/webcomic-science-valentines a set of science-themed Valentine's Day cards]!}}}}}
|This short-lived header announced the fact that [[Randall]] had collaborated with 'other webcomic artists' to create Valentine's cards which could be purchased in the shop at the time. The link in the text took you to the card's page on the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150124110707/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1477: Star Wars]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150126133139/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}}
|{{Header text|For Valentine's Day, you can get a binary heart shirt}}
{{Header text|{{{1|(from {{xkcd|99|comic #99!}}) in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart a limited run on TeeSpring]}}}}}
|This header text was the first of many headers to promote the binary heart shirt which Randall released for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. Instead of being on the xkcd store like one may assume, he actually used {{w|Teespring}}, a company that allows users to create and sell custom products, as the sales platform.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141222233233/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1463: Altitude]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150123102318/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1476: Ceres]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get xkcd shirts, prints, and posters in the [https://shop.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header, like many others at the time, promoted the xkcd store, which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise. The link in the text was a link to the store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141217085320/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until 2014-12-18 {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20141219092349/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141221172450/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header.png]]
|This header served two distinct stints as a header, in between an Easter egg header that Randall had released in between them.

This header consisted of just one image, promoting the xkcd store while also reminding readers that that Friday was the last day things could be shipped by the 25th. The entire image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], not just the blue text in the image.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141218090650/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header 2.png]]
|This header was a more humorous version of the header which it both preceded and succeeded, possibly meant as an {{w|Easter egg (media)|Easter Egg}} for those who happened to visit the site at the time when it was up. It lasted only for a few hours, meaning that not many actually got to see it while it was up. It reminded the reader that, if they wished to get Christmas presents from the xkcd store, they needed to order them by that Friday in order for them to be shipped in time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141203132024/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1455: Trolley Problem]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1460: SMFW]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Store Header.png]]
|This header promoted the store during the Christmas season, with a touch of humor added in. The bobcat is a reference to [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]. The image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141129211604/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141202065133/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1454: Done]]}}
|{{Header text|Thank you for helping my friend Emily.}}
{{Header text|It means so much.}}
|Just two days after Randall posted a header text to raise money for Emily's cancer treatment, the goal was met and this header replaced the previous one for three days. This means that the thanks for meeting the goal was up for more time than the header notifying readers of the goal itself.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141127005239/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1452: Jurassic World]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128070838/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]}}
|{{Header text|Hey all. My friend Emily—the economist who helped}}
{{Header text|me with my {{xkcd|980|money chart}}—has been fighting cancer. She's}}
{{Header text|{{{1|having a rough time and could use some [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128183414/https://www.gofundme.com/e07dqk help]. Thank you.}}}}}
|This header text was meant to raise money in order to help [[Randall]]'s friend Emily fight cancer. The text linked to a GoFundMe page for Emily. Oddly, Emily did not get a permanent header as Becky did on the [[#Seven_Years|Seven Years]] comic.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141002211139/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1428: Move Fast and Break Things]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141125234520/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Bestseller.png]]
|This header consisted of an image promoting the fact that What If? Had become a New York Times bestseller, while also promoting the book at the same time. The header remained up for over a month, only being interrupted by Emily's cancer diagnosis. The image was a link to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140904150600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141001130827/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out now.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that What If?, which had released the day before this header came out, was available to order. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140902125802/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140903134518/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out Today.png]]
|This header kept the trend of simple images promoting What If?, with this one promoting the fact that the book was released that day. As this promoted only the release day, it was replaced by a more general promotion the day after. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140723180600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1398: Snake Facts]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140901113916/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]}}
|[[File:What If? Book Tour.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that Randall was going on a book tour for What If?, which was released that September. The image, like many others promoting the book, was a simple depiction of a celebrating Cueball with text to its right. The text in the image promoted the book, and asked the viewer to click on an apparent link in order to see a list of stops for the tour. However, by Randall's own admission, the entire image (not just the apparent link) was a link, as he had not figured out HTML imagemaps. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/07/22/what-if-book-tour/ a Blag post] announcing the book tour and outlining a list of stops.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140313070951/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1341: Types of Editors]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140722142115/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1397: Luke]]}}
|[[File:What If? Announcement.png]]
|This header text was the first of many to promote What If?. This first one announced the fact that Randall was publishing a book cataloging entries from his What If? blog, which had been running continuously for multiple years at that point. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/03/12/what-if-i-wrote-a-book/ a Blag post] announcing the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140109190927/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140312070248/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1340: Unique Date]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131221043417/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1306: Sigil Cycle]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140108181520/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The deadline for guaranteed Christmas shipping has passed, 
but if you order something from the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], we'll get it to you as fast as possible!}}}}}
|This header text came out just four days before Christmas, when Randall would be unable to ship items ordered from the xkcd store by Christmas. He also reminds readers that they'd ship ASAP, but they wouldn't arrive by the 25th.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131220005306/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1305: Undocumented Feature]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|For a couple weeks during early December of 2013, no header came to replace the previous Exoplanet Poster header. It is possible that there was an error with the intended header text, or that Randall simply forgot to put in a new one. This stopped when the xkcd store Christmas shipping deadline passed, and the header changed to let readers know of this fact.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1298: Exoplanet Neighborhood]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Exoplanet Neighborhood comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://store.xkcd.com/products/exoplanet-neighborhood-poster poster]!}}}}}
|Just after [[Exoplanet Neighborhoods]] came out, Randall updated the header to mention that you could get the comic as a poster in the store. This header lasted only four days, until the header turned empty.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130409170502/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131201184250/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1297: Oort Cloud]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Subways comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20130411022318/http://store-xkcd-com.myshopify.com/products/subways poster]!}}}}}
|This header, which lasted for almost exactly 100 Comics, promoted the fact that you could get [[1196: Subways]] as a poster in the xkcd store. The promotion lasted until early December, when it was replaced with a different store promotion for another comic, oddly promoting a comic poster as well.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126235628/https://xkcd.com/1138/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130311073948/https://xkcd.com:80/1183/ 2013-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1183: Rose Petals]]}}, from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130320082716/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1188: Bonding]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130401112845/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]]}}, and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403180307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1194: Stratigraphic Record]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130408184914/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}}
|[[File:xkcd Store Paper Rip.png]]
|This header holds a record for the most distinct times it appeared as the header text, appearing three separate times. The content of the header was an image showing a torn piece of paper, with the tear revealing the words 'xkcd store' below it. Clicking on the image while it was up took you to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which featured various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20130402122924/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]])}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|There were some surprise upsets in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20130402131103/http://almamater.xkcd.com/ Hash Breaking]!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|KIT [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403114751/http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv leads] (389 bits wrong), followed by Columbia (391 bits wrong).}}}}}
|This header documented the challenge given to multiple prestigious colleges in [[1193: Externalities]]. Randall had created a challenge in which multiple Alma Maters were tasked to break a 1024-bit {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} in the shortest time possible, with the college that had the least bits wrong at the end of the challenge winning. This header gave an update, stating that KIT (an Indian engineering college) in first place, with Colombia in second. He provided a link to the xkcd page where the results were being documented in real time. In the end, Carnegie Mellon University won, with 384 bits wrong of 1024.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130315162227/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1186: Bumblebees]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130318072820/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1187: Aspect Ratio]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|After the previous header letting people know that [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]] was delayed, no header came to replace it for 3 days. This is one of only three times this has happened in xkcd's history
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313133631/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1184: Circumference Formula]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313175306/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The comic will be delayed until late morning EDT.}}}}}
|This simple header, which was up for less than a day, let readers know that the next comic ([[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]) was temporarily delayed. The delayed comic was quickly released and the header was replaced, oddly, with nothing.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121024082017/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126035129/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121017232102/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1122: Electoral Precedent]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121023023404/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/ What if lightning struck while you were ...]}}}}}
|This header was the last header to promote the release of a specific entry to the What If? blog. This entry acted like a short-answer section, but only for lightning-related questions. This promotion lasted for only a few days before it was replaced with the standard header. The link in the article took you to the blog entry.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121010003837/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121016055538/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1121: Identity]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/15/ What if you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?].
|This header promoted a new release of the What If? Blog, this being Mariana Trench Explosion. The question in this entry was "What If you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?". The promotion lasted about a week before the next entry in the blog came out.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121002231724/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121008112434/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}}
|{{Header text|In this week's What-If article I [https://what-if.xkcd.com/14/ answer multiple reader questions].}}}}}
|This header text promotes the first short-answer entry of the What If? blog. It was up for a week, while it was the most recent blog entry. After that, it was replaced by a promotion for the next blog entry
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120926163111/https://xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1113: Killed in Action]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121001080517/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/ If everyone aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at once, would it change color?]}}}}}
|This header text, like many others around this time, promoted the latest entry to the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120918143653/https://www.xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120925090123/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1112: Think Logically]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|what-if.xkcd.com: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/ What if all of a storm's water fell in a single raindrop?].}}}}}
|This header promoted the latest entry into the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|12|Raindrop}}. It stayed up until the next blog entry was released.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1106: ADD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120917052827/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://what-if.xkcd.com/11/ Droppings]}}}}}
|This time, the header text promoted the new What If? blog entry, this time titled {{what if|11|Droppings}}. This header lasted until the next entry, {{what if|12|Raindrop}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120910011937/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1105: License Plate]]}}
|{{Header text|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://what-if.xkcd.com/10/ What if we slid the Earth's surface around by 90 degrees?]}}}}}
|This header was part of a long series of headers at the time, coming out each week with each new What If? blog entry. This one promoted {{what if|10|Cassini}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1101: Sketchiness]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120903051700/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/ What if everyone had a randomly-chosen soul mate?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers promoting new entries to the What If? blog every week. For this week, it promoted {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1098: Star Ratings]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120828050938/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1100: Vows]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ What if everyone got together and jumped]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ at the same time, but then realized nobody brought food?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1096: Clinically Studied Ingredient]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120821113022/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1097: A Hypochondriac's Nightmare]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|This week: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://what-if.xkcd.com/7/ Is there enough energy to move all of humanity off-planet]?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|7|Everybody Out}}. This header, however, is unique from the others promoting the blog, as this is the last header to promote the website directly.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120809045754/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1092: Michael Phelps]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120814083615/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1094: Interview]]}}
|[[File:What If? Glass header.png]]
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, for most of the week {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}} was out, Randall used an image to promote the new entry rather than the traditional text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use this format.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1091: Curiosity]]}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://what-if.xkcd.com/6/ This week]: What if a glass were actually half-empty?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, this header is unique, as it only appeared for a single day before Randall replaced it with an image promoting the same article. This header text promoted {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1089: Internal Monologue]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120805074212/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1090: Formal Languages]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/5/ This week]: How long would humans last in a robot apocalypse?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120730122025/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1088: Five Years]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/4/ This week]: What if you had a mole (unit) of moles (animals)?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}, the fourth What If? blog entry.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120718231719/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1083: Writing Styles]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120723224537/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1085: ContextBot]]}}
|[[File:Yoda What If header.png]]
|This header was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. During the week where {{what if|3|Yoda}} was the most recent post, Randall decided to promote the new entry via an image rather than the typical text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use an image rather than text.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120710114846/https://xkcd.com/1078/ 2012-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120714062857/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1081: Argument Victory]]}}
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New site: what-if.xkcd.com, where I abuse science to answer hypothetical questions. 
I'll answer a new question every Tuesday.}}}}} 
''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/ what-if.xkcd.com]: abusing science to answer hypothetical questions.}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll answer a new reader question every Tuesday.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each promoting the new What If? blog at [https://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]. 
The first version was only up for a day, and, oddly, appeared on each comic except for the front page. The website given in the text wasn't a link, which is presumably why Randall quickly changed the header into the second version. 
The second version of the text was the main version, and was up for a few days. This header does not have many changes from the previous header, only adding the link where the website was and separating the text into two lines. The website now linked to the first ever What If? blog entry, {{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}. For a time, this text also did not appear on the front page as it came out during [[1079: United Shapes]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#United_Shapes|unique header text]]. Later, this text was incorporated into this comic's text, but it was never changed back. This means, if you {{xkcd|1079|go to the comic today}}, it still contains the second version of this header.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120409190952/https://xkcd.com/1026/ 2012-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1040: Lakes and Oceans]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709004956/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
{{Header text|{{{1|You can get prints, posters, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store].}}}}}
|This simple header text combined the standard header text and the standard store promotion in one header. The link in the bottom row went to to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120405195956/https://www.xkcd.com/1021/ 2012-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1038: Fountain]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120408200414/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1039: RuBisCO]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|A return to the standard header text, if only for a few days before the store promotion was added.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120328103319/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1035: Cadbury Eggs]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120403164523/https://xkcd.com:80/1036/ 2012-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1036: Reviews]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'm [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ visiting] Newport News, VA next week, where I'll be speaking at CNU, my old school. 
If you want to come, reserve a seat [https://web.archive.org/web/20120329214411/https://www.cnu.edu/pcs/xkcd/index.asp here]!}}}}}
|This promotion linked to a trip Randall was doing to {{w|Newport News, Virginia}}, where he would be giving a talk at his old school, {{w|Christopher Newport University}}. The first link in the text went to a [[Blag]] [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ post] announcing his trip, while the second link took you to a website where you could purchase tickets (the link here goes to an archived version, as the link is no longer working).
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120312185125/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1028: Communication]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120326180811/https://xkcd.com// 2012-03-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1033: Formal Logic]]}}
|{{Header text|{{[1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120318153220/https://holistic.xkcd.com/ holistic.xkcd.com], the least useful web navigation tool ever.}}}}}
|This header text promoted a web navigation tool which Randall had developed, called the xkcd Holistic Browser. As the name implies, when you typed a web address, you would instead be taken to a web address someone else had entered. For a time, this header text overlapped with [[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#Unique_header_text|unique header text]].
|Other promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20120228183748/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120311135259/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1027: Pickup Artist]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Blag: Remember geohashing? [http://blog.xkcd.com/2012/02/27/geohashing-2/ Something pretty cool] happened Sunday.}}}}}
|This header text references geohashing, an activity which originated from [[426: Geohashing|another comic]] which Randall had published a few years earlier. Geohashing is an activity where an algorithm picks a pseudo-random point within a certain graticule each day. The people who partake in this activity (known as 'geohashers' or 'hashers') can then go to this spot, take a picture, and upload it to the [geohashing.site Geohashing wiki].

The blog post in the header text outlines a story relating to the globalhash, an extra challenge for geohashers in which just one point is chosen around the world. One day, the globalhash was within a mile of the south pole, and a geohasher reached out to personnel at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}}. Personnel at the station completed the challenge and uploaded a photo to the wiki, completing the achievement.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111219230017/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[992: Mnemonics]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|The standard header text returns once again, this time taking the place of the previous after the store was unable to ship things out in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[982: Set Theory]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[991: Phantom Menace]]}}
|[[File:2011 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{{1|shipping for Christmas}}}}}
|This header text utilized a small banner to notify readers that the xkcd store, at that point, could ship items out in time for christmas. Nothing more to say about this one.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[930: Days of the Week]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[981: Porn Folder]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110702224031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-02] {{nowrap|(during [[919: Tween Bromance]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110718225031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[926: Time Vulture]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blog post:}}}}}{{nowrap|{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Family Illness]}}}}}}}
|This header text promoted a blag post which is much more somber than most. It tells readers the context behind recent cancer-related comics. At this time, Megan, his then-fianceé (and now wife), was diagnosed with Stage III {{w|Breast cancer|Breast Cancer}}, which is extremely rare at her age of diagnosis. Obviously, the treatment and support of his fianceé took up much of his life, and he wanted to let his readers know of the ongoing situation. Despite the late diagnosis, Megan has since made a full recovery.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110520004343/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-20] {{nowrap|(during [[900: Religions]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110629072556/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-06-29] {{nowrap|(during [[918: Google+]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. Not really sure what to say here.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110512173901/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[897: Elevator Inspection]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110517072118/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[899: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]}}}}}{{Header text|!}}
|This header text is a compilation of the standard header text and an advertisement for a new blag post, this one being 'Michael Bay's Scenario'. This blog post shows Randall's characteristic geekiness, detailing the basis for one of the panels in [[748: Wo, rst-Case Scenario|an earlier comic]], being the pattern for how dams are operated when the {{w|Mississippi River}} floods.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110418155618/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-18] {{nowrap|(during [[887: Future Timeline]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110508055056/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-08] {{nowrap|(during [[898: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110405105448/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[881: Probability]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Miss XK3D? It's still up at [xk3d.xkcd.com xk3d.xkcd.com]. 
(UNIXKCD, last year's April 1st redesign, is at [uni.xkcd.com uni.xkcd.com].)}}}}}
|This header text let readers know that there was still a way to access the April Fool's xkcd redesign for that year. In 2011, the redesign used a computer program to create a 3d effect on all comics up to [[880: Headache]]. It also reminded readers of the previous year's April Fools' redesign, that being [[Unixkcd]], which gave xkcd.com an interface similar to a terminal. The upper link no longer works, and has been replaced by [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com].
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110401181154/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[880: Headache]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD is now 3D! See [http://xkcd.com/xk3d/ here] for details! 
If 3D is too much for you, consider investing in a pair of [http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/looflirpa/e8be/ these]!}}}}}
|This header text was unique to the 2011 April Fools' xkcd.com redesign. For 2011, the regesign used a computer program to convert every xkcd comic up until [[880: Headache]] to a 3d view by separating the comics into different layers. The upper link is completely broken and no longer exists. To see the xk3d interface, go to [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com]. The lower link in the header text no longer works, instead taking you to a GameStop page dedicated to action figures and other collectibles.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110320063005/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110331041143/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-31] {{nowrap|(during [[879: Lamp]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blag post: a [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/03/19/radiation-chart/ chart] comparing levels of radiation exposure.}}}}}
|{{notice|summarize the blag post here}}
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110202074533/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[855: 1999]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110318203241/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: There's a new full-text comic search box a bit down the page.}}}}}
|This header text served as a set of two 'pro tips' which Randall is providing for the readers, the second header straight to do so. While the first is the same as the previous header, the second is different. It correctly states that there is a search box in a lower section of the page, which most people would not see as it is not viewable unless you scroll down, which most won't do as they are just viewing the comic.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110122183142/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-22] {{nowrap|(during [[850: World According to Americans]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110201050436/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[854: Learning to Cook]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: Scripts can [http://xkcd.com/json.html fetch comics and metadata automatically].}}}}}
|This header text provides 'pro tips', or pieces of advice ('tips') coming from somebody more experienced with a certain subject ('pros'). In this case, the person more experienced with xkcd is Randall, the creator of the site, so it's questionable as to whether these would actually be 'pro tips'. The upper tip lets readers know about m.xkcd.com, a version of the site designed for mobile devices. Currently, it's used for older web browsers, and less so for mobile devices as technology and Randall's coding has evolved. The other tip allows readers to use a computer script to automatically fetch comics and the metadata (the technical information about each comic, such as the author and its resolution) for said comics.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101221074545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110120082139/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-20] {{nowrap|(during [[849: Complex Conjugate]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101210182242/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-10] {{nowrap|(during [[832: Tic-Tac-Toe]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101220074448/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}})
|[[File:2010 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store is now shipping for Christmas.}}
|This header text was a reminder for readers that the xkcd store could ship items in time for christmas. At the time, he was selling signed prints of many different comics, so it was important for readers to have this knowledge.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101202013145/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitudes]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101207103208/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-07] {{nowrap|(during [[831: Genetic Analysis]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can order the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text combined the regular, standard header text with a promotion for an item in the xkcd store. It was very similar to the previous, with the only difference being that instead of only being able to preorder the item, the item could be directly ordered. The item in question was a poster depicting [[802: Online Communities 2]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101015082807/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[806: Tech Support]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101201003913/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitude]]}})
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There's a poster of the [https://xkcd.com/802/ updated communities map] for preorder in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}

''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can preorder the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each having the exact same meaning but differing levels of conciseness. It let readers know that they could preorder a poster which depicted [[802: Online Communities 2]], a large comic which depicted the size of various online communities as a fantasy map. This header text debuted in October until early December, when it released just in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100717133907/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-17] {{nowrap|(during [[767: Temper]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101012070848/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-12] {{nowrap|(during [[804: Pumpkin Carving]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are t-shirts, prints, posters, and other items in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}
|This was a very standard, copy-and-paste store promotion.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[760: Moria]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[765: One Two]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text. This header was the last time that there was a prolonged gap in the archives, necessitating the 'c.' in the date field.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[740: The Tell-Tale Beat]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[756: Public Opinion]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday 
There is a [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#FlyingFerretTankTop tank top] in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple one, letting readers know that the xkcd store now contained a {{w|Sleeveless shirt|tank top}} (a shirt which does not contain sleeves) depicting the flying ferret from [[20: Ferret]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100506032819/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-06] (during [[736: Cemetery]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header text|{{{1|The {{Header link|[http://blag.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ color survey results]}} are up!}}}}}
|This header text references the color survey, which was also mentioned the previous month in a different header. The color survey was an online survey in which users were presented with a completely random color and asked to give it a name, in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive color and language.
|Other promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100427162424/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-27] (during [[732: HDTV]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100408053329/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[724: Hell]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[725: Literally]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|If you liked the unixkcd interface, you can keep using it [xkcd.com/unixkcd here]! 
My [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ survey of color names] is almost done! Want to help?}}}}}
|This was a very simple header, alerting readers to the fact that, if they enjoyed [[Unixkcd]], that year's April Fools' Day redesign, it could still be accessed. While the website in the text no longer works, it can be accessed at uni.xkcd.com. It also mentions Randall's 'survey of color names', which is a survey that Randall conducted where responders were given a completely random color and asked to name it, hoping to provide some insight into how people perceive color.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100304093951/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-03-04] {{nowrap|(during [[709: I am]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[719: Brain Worms]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints new prints] and [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints posters][http://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
I'm doing a [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ Color name survey]. Want to help?}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. The top line was a very simple copy-paste advertisement for the Store, advertising signed prints of comics. Oddly, the links behind 'new prints' and 'posters' are exactly the same and would have taken you to the same place regardless of which one you clicked. The second line was an advertisement for the xkcd color name survey, where respondents were given a random color and asked to name it in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive colors and language.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100102003314/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-01-02] {{nowrap|(during [[683: Science Montage]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100215231756/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-02-15] {{nowrap|(during [[702: Snow Tracking]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}}}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091202010210/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[669: Experiment]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091225151809/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-25] {{nowrap|(during [[680: December 25th]]}})
|[[File:2009 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store - now shipping for Christmas delivery}}
|This simple header text served the purpose of alerting readers to the fact that the xkcd store could ship in time for Christmas, if anybody wanted to buy an xkcd-themed gift for somebody. However, the last time this text was archived was on Christmas Day, far after the store could have shipped anything in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20091027132448/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091115070508/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!
|This was the final header text to promote [[xkcd: volume 0]], a compilation of some of the best xkcd comics up to that point, along with footnotes and <s>a mysterious cipher</s> other additions. This header text served two distinct stints, as it was interrupted for just a few hours on October 27th by xkcd's GeoCities memorial.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20091027014324/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-10-27] (during [[654: Nachos]])
|GeoCities is shutting down today. To commemorate this, xkcd.com has been redesigned.">{{nowrap|[[File:Broken File Icon.png|25x25px]]}}
|For just a few hours on October 27th, 2009, xkcd was redesigned to be a chaotic mess in memory of {{w|GeoCities}}, replicating a stereotypical GeoCities site. GeoCities was a free web hosting service which, due to the very low barrier of entry, was known for children and teens hosting their own sites which looked similar to the redesign. This resulted in many pieces of broken code, which is replicated in the header text. Please note that the text had effects on it which cannot be replicated here, such as the image being in place of a superscript and the text containing a marquee effect.
|???
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20090918105905/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090923040934/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|’’’First Version:’’’ 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in New York and the Bay Area.}}}}}

’’’Second Version:''' 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in the Bay Area.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, which are compiled here because the second came right after the first and told you the exact same thing. The first version let you know that [[xkcd: volume 0]], the first-ever xkcd book, had been released and could be purchased in the store when it was online. It also told you about the small book tour that Randall would be doing, with stops in New York City and the San Francisco Bay area. This version was last archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090921130537/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-21]. The second version was exactly the same, except for the fact that Randall had apparently already gone to NYC, and was now presumably on his way to the Bay Area for that stop.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090903095219/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[631: Anatomy Text]]}})
|{{Header text|Ever wanted {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?tie#xkcdtie an xkcd tie]}}?}}
|This was a very simple store promotion, stating that you could now get an xkcd-themed necktie from the store. It depicted various characters doing actions they did in previous comics they were featured in. An image of the tie is included below.

[[File:xkcd tie.jpg|150x150px]]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090801182533/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2009-08-01 {{nowrap|(during [[617: Understocked]]}})
|{{Header text|I'll be at {{Header link|[http://connecticon.org/ Connecticon]}} this weekend. 
If you're in the area, come say hi!}}
|This simple header promoted the fact that Randall was planning on travelling to Connecticon. Connecticon is an annual fan convention which dabbles in "all things Pop-culture", and it regularly hosts celebrity guests and panels. It's named such because, since its founding, it has been based in Hartford, Connecticut. Randall was one of many webcomic-creating guests who were invited, but it seems he was attending as a guest and nothing more.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-17] {{nowrap|(during [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090730084817/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[616: Lease]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are signed prints in the {{Header link|[http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350if_/http://xkcd.com:80/store/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header, being a simple combination of the standard header text and a copy-pasted store promotion. The 'signed prints' that Randall is referring to are printed-out versions of comics which were hand-signed by Randall and could be purchased in the store before it shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090313220423/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090314231453/xkcd.com/ 2009-03-14] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20081218103735/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[518: Flow Charts]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20090311133423/https://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[554: Not Enough Work]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} now has {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}.}}
|This header text was a simple, copy-paste store promotion advertising signed print-outs of comics, which could be ordered in the store before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20081216003547/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[517: Marshmallow Gun]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} (now with {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}!) is running smoothly, 
so we’ve extended the US Christmas order deadline to Tuesday.}}
|This header text was to let people know that apparently, it was not too late to order things and get them shipped in time for Christmas (with the obligatory advertisement for the signed comic print-outs, of course). This text was almost certainly up before it was archived, however, as the 'Tuesday' in question was the very day that it was added to archive.org. The wording is also a bit confusing, as it implies that either 1)they were expecting the store to NOT be running smoothly or 2)the store running smoothly at all is unexpected.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081202150349/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[511: Sleet]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20081211124445/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-11] {{nowrap|(during [[515: No One Must Know]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ Order]}} before the 12th to ensure 
US delivery before the 25th.}}
|This was the routine December header text at this point. It let readers know that there was not only new merch in the store, but also revealed the date you needed to order to have delivery guaranteed by the 25th. This date would later be extended to the 16th, but nobody knew about that at this point.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081002175315/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[483: Fiction Rule of Thumb]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081125150337/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[508: Drapes]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} XKCD updates every Monday, 
Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This rather oddly-formatted header text was a simple store promotion and standard header combo, letting people know that new merch had been added to the store. Randall was seemingly quite proud of all the new stuff that had been recently added to the shop, because the store had been advertised for over 4 straight months at this point and would continue to be promoted until 4 months later. This is the first, and seemingly only, time that the standard header text has been broken up into multiple lines.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080805184617/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[458: Regrets]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080922225907/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[479: Tones]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} New {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ shirt and skirt]}} now shipping.}}
|This was the second header in a row to promote the store. This one promoted 'new merchandise', more specifically a shirt and a skirt, which were apparently shipping at the time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080728075533/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-28] {{nowrap|(during [[455: Hats]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and skirt in the {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header. It said that there had been new releases in the store, being a shirt and, rather unexpectedly, a skirt. No clue what would have been put on a skirt, but it existed.
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080617035452/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-06-17] {{nowrap|(during [[437: SUV]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080703181835/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-03] {{nowrap|(during [[444: Macgyver Gets Lazy]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080409062908/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[408: Overqualified]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080430072916/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-30] {{nowrap|(during [[417: The Man Who Fell Sideways]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}} is back.}}
|This rather ominous header text came after the store had apparently gone away for a few months. This was one of the shortest header texts ever, coming in at just four words and 15 characters.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080321072739/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-03-21] {{nowrap|(during [[399: Travelling Salesman Problem]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD is updated every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
The [http://store.xkcd.com/ {{Header link|store] {{Header text|is back.}}}}}}
|This rather ominous header text was an announcement of the reinstatement of the xkcd store, which had apparently gone away for some time between January 16th, 2008 (the last time the store had been promoted on the header text) and March 21st, 2008 (the only time this header text was archived). I find it funny that Randall successfully made it sound like the xkcd store was a supervillain from a children's cartoon or the antagonist in a bad 1970s sci-fi movie.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080218115842/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-18] {{nowrap|(during [[385: How it Works]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
Blag: [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/aliens/ {{Header link|Aliens] {{Header text|and [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/the-laser-elevator/ {{Header link|laser elevators]{{Header text|.}}}}}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple promotion of two recent Blag posts. 'Aliens' was a short rant about how poorly we were seaching for extraterrestrial life, and a prediction that the search for alien life would ramp up 'in a decade' (which, at the time of this post going up, would have been 2018). This obviously didn't end up panning out. The other one, laser elevators, is a rant about how bad {{w|Solar sail|Solar sails}} are, and shows a solution that a recent study had come up with, where a photon could be repeatedly bounced between a solar sail and a large reflective panel to create large amounts of energy. The post then goes farther off the rails, comparing physics to sex and then creating a theory where, using a Dyson sphere and a series of lasing cavities within it, a laser could be created and aimed at a star, creating an effective method for interstellar war. The post ends with a message to the aliens: the rather brash "FUCK YOU GUYS!"
|Other promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20080116055414/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[371: Compiler Complaint]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080202114535/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[378: Real Programmers]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071212040227/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[355: Couple]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20080113050121/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-13] {{nowrap|(during [[369: Dangers]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]] 
[http://xkcd.com/store {{Header link|xkcd store]}}
|This was the traditional, annual store promotion, banner and all. However, unlike past future promotions, this header did not actually mention Christmas, it just kinda happened to be there during Christmas. It was clearly a Christmas promotion. And if that wasn't convincing enough, the actual name of the image in the header text is 'christmas_imglink'. However, 'christmas_imglink' stayed until mid-january, about 3 weeks after Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071125101002/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071209030605/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-09] {{nowrap|(during [[354: Startling]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]]
|This header was quite short-lived. It contained a single image which promoted the store. Because of this header's low uptime and the contents of the next header, it is quite possible that Randall simply forgot to include the actual link to the store, which is what the next header added.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071117155253/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-17] {{nowrap|(during [[345: 1337: Part 5]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071123133252/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-23] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]{{Header text|!}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple store promotion promoting a shirt and a hoodie, which was in the store at the time before it got shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|}

===2007-11-12 - Previous plus 1337 series notice===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071112104631/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-12] (during [[1337: Part 1]])
*The text: 
New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ store]!
There will be five comics this week, one each weekday!
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20071116040809/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-16] (during [[1337: Part 4]])

===2007-10-27 - Preorder shirt and hoodie===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071027094704/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-27] (during [[Wasteland]])
*The text: 
New shirt and hoodie for preorder in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ store]!
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20071111214505/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-11] (during [[Fight]])

===2007-10-24 - For the love of god randall remember your headers (nothing)===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071024131946/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-24] (during [[Getting Out of Hand]])
*Randall forgor again!
*One archive, 3-day gap, we can say circa MAYBE, but it seems fine.

===2007-10-05 - The return of the standard header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071005115902/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-05] (during [[A-Minus-Minus]])
*The text also updated so that the ‘xkcd’ was all-lowercase rather than all-caps
*The text: 
xkcd updates every monday, wednesday, and friday
*Last day [https://web.archive.org/web/20071023083642/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-23] (during [[Gyroscopes]])

===2007-10-02 - NOTHING AGAIN===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071004202736/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Tapping]])
*Randall once again fully forgor.
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20071004213008/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-04] (during [[Tapping]]

===2007-10-02 - Forums3===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071002094941/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Ballmer Peak]])
*The text: 
You can use [http://forums3.xkcd.com/ forums3.xkcd.com] until DNS 
updates.
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20071003015205/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-03] (again, during [[Ballmer Peak]]), but OMG THIS IS A GUARANTEED LAST DAY FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

===2007-09-17 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070917215531/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-17] (during [[That Lovin' Feelin']])
*No text
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20070926234657/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-26], but only a 2-day gap, so that’s something! This was during [[Thighs]]

At this point, my archives began to break down. This is when it became much more tedious. Coincidentially, this is when archives became much more common, meaning that the pain didn’t stop after all.
===2007-08-09 - Reality-modifying stickers===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070809012909/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-08-09] (during [[Facebook]])
*The text: 
Reality-modifying stickers and a new shirt in the [https://xkcd.com/store store]!
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070904063904/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-04]. Next archive? The 17th!

===2007-06-10 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070610103907/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-10] (during [[With Apologies to The Who]])
*The text: 

*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070714202506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-07-14] (during [[Alone]]) Gap is between July 14th and AUGUST NINTH

===2007-06-02 - Powers of 1(0)===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070602203916/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-02] (during [[Powers of One]])
*The text: 
Background:{{w|Powers of ten|Powers of Ten}} on Wikipedia
*One archive, 8-day gap, when will this end…

===2007-05-24 - Communities map poster===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-24] (during [[Choices: Part 4]])
*The text: 
The [https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://xkcd.com/store/ Online Communities Map poster] is now shipping. 
This week, XKCD updates every weekday.
*One archive, 9-day gap

===2007-05-19 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070519162137/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-19] (during [[Certainty]])
*The text: 

*One archive, 5-day gap… sigh…. How do we even categorize these? I haven’t thought about that…

===2007-05-06 - Preorder 256 posters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-06] (during [[Code Talkers]]
*The text: 
You can preorder posters of the online communities map in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*This one line was so long that you couldn’t see the end of the word ‘store’
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070514171227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-14] (during [[Regarding Mussolini]]). 5-day gap.

===2007-05-03 - 2^8th comic===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-03] (during [[Online Communities]])
*The text: 
Hooray, the 2^8th comic! 
By popular demand: preorder a [https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster] of this map!
*Please note that we have no clue if there was any actual demand for a poster
*One archive, but no ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-24 - Back to standard text===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070324053307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-24] (during [[Blagofaire]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070406171936/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-04-06]. The next archive after this is from MAY THIRD.

===2007-03-21 - Good shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070321155442/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-21] (during [[Pet Peeve 114]])
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store].
*One archive, but only a three-day gap. No ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-16 - Sense of Security Blag===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-16] (during [[Collecting Double-Takes]]
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://blag.xkcd.com/ Lost: comic originals, sense of security.] (blag post)
*One archive, 5-day gap…. ‘’sigh’’

===2007-03-06 - Map of the internet – That you can buy!===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-06] (during [[Cat Proximity]])
*The phrases ‘new:’ are both in red
*The text: 
New: Map of the Internet [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster print] 
New: Two new shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20070314012824/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-14] (during [[Escape Artist]]) (yes, I said ended, not ‘last archived version’)

===2007-02-12 - Shirt restock===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-12] (during [[Small Talk]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://xkcd.com/store/ T-shirts] are restocked (for now) and shipping promptly!
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070227234312/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-27]. Sadly, a seven-day archive gap means we’re back to suffering.

===2007-02-10 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070210042242/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-10] (during [[Random Number]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Only one archive, but THE GAP IS ONLY TWO DAYS!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!

===2007-02-02 - New blag post===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-02] (during [[e to the pi Minus pi]])
*The text: 
New blag post: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://blag.xkcd.com/2007/01/29/washingtons-farewell-address-translated-into-the-vernacular/ Washington’s Farewell Address in everyday speech].
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070204031035/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-04] (during [[Nintendo Surgeon]]). A six-day archive gap means we once again can’t have any fun.

===2007-01-24 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070124194143/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-24] (during [[The Problem with Wikipedia]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Just one archive once again! And, once again, a long archive gap means we can’t have any fun

===2007-01-19 - He zorbed too hard :(===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-19] (during [[Brain]])
*ZORB is a company offering experiences where you roll downhill in human-sized available Hampster balls. Apparently, he's attempting to acquire one of the balls for himself, and failing.
*The text: 
I tried writing to [https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.zorb.com/ zorb] but I can’t convince them to send me one.
*Only one archive, lasted anywhere from 1-8 days

===2006-12-31 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061231002902/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-31] (during [[Hallucinations]])
*The standard header’s first appearance in its current form
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archive is [https://web.archive.org/web/20070114100227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-14] (during [[Kayak]]). This is only an approximation, as there’s a 5-day archive gap.

===2006-12-14 - Xmas Orders closed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-14] (during [[Command Line Fu]])
*The text: 
Christmas orders are closed! They will finish shipping shortly! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thecutest.info/ TheCutest]
*OH MY GOD THERE IS A 2.5 WEEK GAP

===2006-12-09 - Deadline 12/13===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061209222812/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-09] (during [[Penises]])
*The first line is in red, except for the link, which is the normal color. The second line is the normal color.
*The text: 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th. 
Supplies are limited; shirts are not guaranteed to stay in stock
*Only one archive once again! A 5-day gap in the archives mean we don’t know when it ended…or began.

===2006-12-05 - Useless shirt===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-05] (during [[Working for Google]])
*The second line of text is in red, except for the period at the end of the sentence.
*The text: 
New ‘Useless’ shirt available in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]! (Supplies limited) 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th.
*Actually, first time in a while where we really can just include that one archive, maybe with a ‘circa’ attached tho

===2006-11-29 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061129035519/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-11-29] (during [[Exercise]])
*The text: 

*Unknown end date (6-day gap), lasted only one archive

===2006-11-18 - Need submitters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-18] (during [[Wikifriends]])
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info] - Have voters, need submitters. 
(Content is user-submitted and may occasionally not be work-safe.)
*End date unknown (11-day archive gap). lasted only one archive.

===2006-11-09 - New toys===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-09] (during [[Interblag]]
*The text 
New toys: [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info]
*End date unknown again, 8-day gap in archives

===2006-10-13 - Nothing===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061013224954/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-10-13] (during [[Turn Back]])
*The text: 

*Both start and end date unknown, as there is a 2-3-week gap between archives. One archive

===2006-09-01 - IRC channel===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-09-01] (during [[Mario]])
*The website at the end of the text isn’t a link, but the words ‘xkcd irc channel’ are.
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://xkcd.com/store/ Store] has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends. 
NEWS: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?t=207 xkcd irc channel] (#xkcd on irc.foonetic.net)
*We have literally no clue about anything between September 1st and October 13th. And the one on October 13th is just nothing! Also, one archive

===2006-08-29 - BEEG shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-29] (during [[Sandwich]]
*The word ‘news’ is still in all caps, but has lost its boldness.
*The text: 
Two t-shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]! One sweet, one bitchin’. 
NEWS: Store has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends.
*Just one archive, but at least we’re only limited to a 3-day window. Don’t include ‘until unknown’ here

===2006-08-19 - Parody Week Dinosaur===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-19] (during [[Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics]])
*Sadly, this is the only archive from the entirety of parody week. We can only assume that each comic from Parody Week had a very similar header to this, but they are all lost media now.
*The text: 
Saturday is the last day to vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://xkcd.com/date/ date contest]! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://qwantz.com/ Dinosaur Comics] tribute! Regular comics return Monday.
*Only one archive. Because the header is specific to this comic (but not comic-specific - it was definitely global), we can probably say that this header left as the global header when the next comic came out.

===2006-08-12 - Next Week Parody Week===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060812105656/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-12] (during [[Delicious]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is formatted the same as last time
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ Next week is Parody Week! New comic every weekday!
*Ended sometime around [https://web.archive.org/web/20060813123244/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-13] (during [[Delicious]])

===2006-08-10 - Awesome date project===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-10] (during [[I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is in BOLD and ALL CAPS, but isn’t thicc like last time.
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/store/ Signed prints] of many comics are available! 
Don’t forget to help vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/date/ awesome date project]!
*Only one archive, and this time only two days between archives. We can only include the archive this time, not the ‘until unknown’

===2006-07-21 - BestThing.info===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-21] (during [[Fans]])
*’SISTER PROJECT’ is bold and in ALL CAPS (it’s also very thicc, which is odd. Same thickness as header link.)
*The text: 
Comic updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
SISTER PROJECT: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://bestthing.info/ BestThing.info] - decide What’s Best!
*Only one archive, but the end date is unknown as there are ~3 weeks between headers. End with ‘until Unknown’

===2006-07-20 - Video unearthed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060720090950/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-20] (during [[Julia Stiles]])
*News is once again in big and bold
*The text:
**NEWS: I've unearthed the video referenced in today's comic!
**Check the news section of the forums to watch it.
*Only one archive (this was a time of quick, very short-lived headers)

===2006-07-14 - Sunday last day===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-14] (during [[dPain over dt]])
*the word 'news' is, again, big and bold.
*The text:
**NEWS: Sunday is the last day to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]]!
*only one archive once again
===2006-07-10 - One week for tees===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-10] (during [[Red Spiders Cometh]])
*the word 'news' is '''<big>Big n' Bold</big>'''
*The text:
**NEWS: One week left to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]!
*Only one archive

===2006-07-05 - Comic 23 Tee===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-05]
*Top red line is bold
*The text:
**Get a t-shirt based on comic #23 in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]!
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060706040359/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-06] (during [[Blogofractal]])

===2006-06-16 - DYK forums===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-16] (during [[Meerkat]])
*The same format as the previous one. two lines of red text
*The text:
**T-shirts shipped out Monday morning!
**Did you know we have active [https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://forums.xkcd.com/ forums]?
*Again, only this archive

===2006-06-12 - Packaged T-shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060612221916/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-12] (during [[Computational Linguists]])
*Text is in red sans-serif
*First time t-shirts are mentioned, but the two months in between archives probably contained something forever lost to time.
*The text:
**T-shirts are packaged and shipping first thing Monday!
*Only this one archive had this header

===2006-04-08 - nothin'===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060408214700/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-04-08] (during [[Digital Rights Management]])
*Now it's in WingDings!
*The text:
**
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060428065305/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-04-28] (during [[95: The Sierpinski Penis Game]])

===2005-12-12 - Composite face images===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-12-12]
*MORE TNR!
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
**I also create [https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/morphs/ composite images of faces] (available on commission)
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060207154349/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-02-07] (during [[Super Bowl]])

===2005-11-26 - ASCG===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-26] (during [[Old Notebook]])
*More TNR
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I also run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
*Only up one archive
|-
|From c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] {{nowrap|(during [[21: Kepler]]}} until c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] {{nowrap|(during [[31: Barrel - Part 5]]}}
|{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
|This header text was a very short bio of Randall. It detailed multiple different things going on in his life.

{{w|RoboWar}} is a strategy-based video game where one must code a virtual robot to eliminate all others and be the last one standing. The game hosted regular competitions until mid-2003, at which point the player base began to die out. Evidently, RoboWar made a temporary return in 2005, which Randall was celebrating. He also provided a link to the official version of the game which supported {{w|Windows (operating system)|Windows}}.

[[Blue Eyes]] is a logic puzzle uploaded to xkcd c.2004, advertised as 'the hardest logic puzzle in the world'.
===2005-10-18 - Basic Bio===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] (during [[Kepler]])
*This was in the Times New Roman font, idk why.
*The text:
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] (During [[Barrel - Part 5]])

Talk:3227: Creation

2026-04-02T13:58:05Z

DollarStoreBa'al: sig

did anyone else wait for the screensaver to hit the corner? [[Special:Contributions/216.25.182.141|216.25.182.141]] 20:13, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

I can't work out what Modem mode is meant to do... on my machine it just freezes the whole page. [[Special:Contributions/78.213.151.110|78.213.151.110]] 20:22, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:It plays the sound of an old-style phone modem, and scrolls the comic into view slowly. It's supposed to represent the early days when downloading an image would take a long time. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 20:31, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:can confirm on android firefox it seems to render the page unresponsive to input - [[User:Vaedez|Vaedez]] ([[User talk:Vaedez|talk]]) 21:18, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:Same here on Desktop Firefox - under "Modem mode", the whole page freezes up and the browser prompts me to close it ("this page is slowing down Firefox", or words to that effect). I wonder if it's a Firefox thing - odd if so, because I imagine Randall of all people would test on browsers other than Chrom* - or some weird side-effect of my ad/popup/script/cookie-blockers. A shame because all the other modes seem to work - "Greyscale mode" is far too subtle, and I'm ashamed to admit I missed the change from "math" to "maths"! - but this is a great April Fools' comic. [[Special:Contributions/50.45.232.78|50.45.232.78]] 22:56, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:Firefoxer here, and ''without'' any particular add-ons that might interact badly with it... It does (seem to) lock up and it does (sometimes... didn't on at least one occasion) prompt Firefox to ask if I want to stop the page. But if I wait long enough it 'wipes off' the last seen comic image, starts to 'scanline' it back (note: not actually accurate to the real days of modems, as you'd probably be loading up images in interlaced mode) and ''then'' starts to give a modem-shriek.
:I wonder, without delving into the code used, if it's the method used to 'sleep' (could it be using busy-busy NOP-like code, rather than true sleep-interupts?), or just a slightly different asynchronous script-handling method that Firefox uses instead of other test-platforms. [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 23:46, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
::Using Firefox (On mac, in Australia, if relevant) and it works fine, but no audio component. [[Special:Contributions/114.198.19.39|114.198.19.39]] 08:07, 2 April 2026 (UTC)
: For me (in Chrome) it scrolled the whole page in from the bottom, but then kept scrolling so that you got the top of the page appearing beneath the bottom of it - like a TV with vertical hold problems (kids - ask your grandparents). Then changing to other modes it was stuck in that position. However, on subsequent attempts it only scrolled open the comic portion of the page. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 08:35, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

I clicked darker mode and my screen is black and I cant undo it help {{unsigned ip|207.233.27.2|20:24, 1 April 2026 (UTC)}}
:I assume you mean Darkest Mode, since there's no darker mode. The screen turns black but if you look carefully you can still see the grey of the menu and you can click on it. Also, the menu border continues to appear after you select the choice (at least it does on my Mac). P.S. Don't forget to sign your comment with 4 ~ characters. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 20:31, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

Modem mode doesn’t work for me what does it do [[Special:Contributions/2A06:5906:1412:4100:352D:1A2:184:5F3|2A06:5906:1412:4100:352D:1A2:184:5F3]] 20:29, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:Modem mode makes the comic slowly print from above [[Special:Contributions/216.25.182.141|216.25.182.141]] 20:34, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

I see the mobile site m.xkcd.com was left out on this change😔 [[Special:Contributions/104.28.215.219|104.28.215.219]] 20:37, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:I have been viewing via a tablet, though I think I've permwnently set my browsers to ''not'' use mobile version sites (they tend to assume viewing everything in portrait, I have found, whereas I almost always browse in landscape, so it gives me badly relocated on-page menu bars, or other wierdnesses).
:Everything seems to work nicely, as I bounced back and forth between modes (and occasionaly went to other comics to see how something like Stained Glass worked with them). Until I tried out the Star Wars scrolling one. Earlier on, I'd checked it out on a desktop, so I left it until one of the last few because it was hardest on the desktop to move on from (unless you used the cursor key, when you'd let the select-drop-down element drift to far 'away' to easily click.
:However, on the tablet, it ''just'' goes black, no appearance of the scrolly-scrawled page contents. (No way to use cursors to change the in-focus drop-down element to a neighbour.) Back-paging just takes me back through the various Random-comic pages I'd passed through, then the plain xkcd.com latest-comic default, all completely black, no animation. (Plane/Boat/Spring/Screensave mode dynamics, etc animated/transformed properly in their various ways.) Back-paging to before landing on xkcd.com (the tab I'd set off from) then forward again landed me in the all-black page with no space-sprawl in evidence...
:...''until'' I turned the tablet sideways (portrait proportions), and there it was. And rotated back to landscape to find it ''still'' properly visible, still scrolling away. Also, discovered I could drag (without pinch-dragging, which is zooming) the scrawl back 'towards me' (essentially scrolling down the skewed page, not an interaction that I'd attempted on the desktop computer), so that I could intercept the dropdown box and shift myself onto a different mode again.
:This is on Chrome For Android. I have other tablet browsers handy, but would need to check them properly before committing to ''their'' compatabilities or peculiarities. But sort of works, after you get over a funny hurdle (as just described), and ''perhaps'' need to have set Desktop Site as default rather than letting your device attempt to automatically use the "m." site version. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.237.40|82.132.237.40]] 02:56, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

I read “Modern mode” instead of Modem mode and I spent a while making wild theories about what it could be referencing. But I’m also quite sleepy. [[Special:Contributions/146.70.116.107|146.70.116.107]] 20:51, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:i also misread it as modern mode, it made everything lag for me, made it feel like a modern website [[Special:Contributions/85.206.187.35|85.206.187.35]] 00:57, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

I deminified the code if anyone wants it. There are no hidden options or anything like right-click has, but it would be extremely easy to add modes to it. [[Special:Contributions/2601:441:4B7E:7660:0:0:0:AC72|2601:441:4B7E:7660:0:0:0:AC72]] 20:59, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

"Modem mode" works for me in Chromium, but not Firefox. [[User:Robobun|Robobun]] ([[User talk:Robobun|talk]]) 21:06, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:For me it's just slow on Firefox. It takes about 5 seconds to clear the comic and start scrolling it back in, and the static doesn't start until it's almost all showing. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 21:11, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

applies across the whole website? i forsee a preservation effort in the near future to capture What This Was Like, when randall inevitably removes the menu and all its modes--there's no chance this is staying, is there? - [[User:Vaedez|Vaedez]] ([[User talk:Vaedez|talk]]) 21:24, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:It applies to older comics, but not other parts of the site. I'm also wondering if this might be just for April Fool's Day. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 21:27, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:: I know it's april the 1st, but could we keep the modes? Stainglass is fun when the background doesn't turn maroon (and makes the text hard to read). I also checked other pages of xkcd, the modes are on on the other comics. {{unsigned ip|2a04:cec0:121a:5180:bcf7:54ff:feb2:d55|21:31, 1 April 2026 (UTC)}}
::Of course it's the April Fools'/Fools' comic. Nice to see it being on time, this year, and I too wonder how long it'll stay. Might it permanently stay on this comic page, perhaps even stay if you jump off of it, but comic 3228 (or the 'default' latest-comic page) will probably be back to normal on Friday. [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 22:14, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:Luckily, preservation is easy enough. I think you just need to save the main [https://xkcd.com/3227/5710add.js Javascript file] (which contains the CSS, and generates the necessary DOM on the fly) and the [https://xkcd.com/3227/imgs/nyoom_2x.png one image asset]. I think it should be easy enough to turn it into a UserScript if you turn the png into a data URI, or even a web extension if that's more your speed. [[User:Dratini0|Dratini0]] ([[User talk:Dratini0|talk]]) 00:12, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

Finally we have the Boat Mode from the footer! [[User:B_for_brain|B for brain]] ([[User_talk:B_for_brain|talk]]) ([https://www.youtube.com/@bforbrain youtube channel] [https://bforbrain.weebly.com/ wobsite (supposed to be a blag)]) 21:33, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

'''Attention admins''' I think there's an "oops" in this line:
<nowiki>To experience the interactivity, visit the {{xkcd|{comicNum}|original comic}}!</nowiki>
[[Special:Contributions/64.201.132.210|64.201.132.210]] 21:43, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:Yeah, looks like this is a regression in this corner case. I should have a fix for it soon. —[[User:Theusaf|theusaf]] ([[User talk:Theusaf|talk]]) 23:41, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

Has the full footer always been there? "xkcd.com is best viewed with Netscape Navigator 4.0 or below on a Pentium 3±1 emulated in Javascript on an Apple IIGS at a screen resolution of 1024x1. Please enable your ad blockers, disable high-heat drying, and remove your device from Airplane Mode and set it to Boat Mode. For security reasons, please leave caps lock on while browsing." --[[User:Chance2travel|Chance2travel]] ([[User talk:Chance2travel|talk]]) 22:30, 1 April 2026 (UTC)
:Yes, always has been. Learn more at the page for [[Footnote]]. [[Special:Contributions/104.28.215.219|104.28.215.219]] 23:17, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

I think the Dorian Greyscale Mode takes 5 minutes to complete. I see this in the Javascript: <code>body.mode-dorian-greyscale {\n transition: filter 300s ease-out;</code> [[User:Pgn674|Pgn674]] ([[User talk:Pgn674|talk]]) 22:36, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

Dorian Greyscale Mode seems like it ought to use only the white keys on a standard piano, and go DEGFCDBA, with adjacent notes differing in a single bit position. [[Special:Contributions/2A02:8084:2862:4F80:65B7:327D:E614:342F|2A02:8084:2862:4F80:65B7:327D:E614:342F]] 22:56, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

I'd love to know if the modem mode's audio file decodes to anything if you try to decode it as a v.92 stream or something similar. [[Special:Contributions/2603:6011:4504:D100:3BD0:B617:9D7:1C80|2603:6011:4504:D100:3BD0:B617:9D7:1C80]] 23:24, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

Stained Glass Mode doesn't show title text? Might be a bug [[User:X|X]] ([[User talk:X|talk]]) 23:38, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

Not gonna lie, I got nerd-sniped hard here. I thought the noise in the modem mode might be real modem noises, and I tried to demodulate it. With Gnuradio, I got to the point of guessing that it's 4FSK at 2400 baud, with a center frequency of about 1700 Hz and a frequency deviation of about 300 Hz. I couldn't find the corresponding modem standard, so I started deminifying the source code that generates it. The good news is that I was correct. It's 4FSK, 2400 baud, center frequency 1710 Hz, frequency deviation 270 Hz. The bad news? The data is Math.random(). That feels bittersweet. I saw a puzzle where there was none. I want to post the relevant snippet of deminified code. Am I allowed to do that? Is the site itself also under CC-BY-NC, or just the comics? [[User:Dratini0|Dratini0]] ([[User talk:Dratini0|talk]]) 23:58, 1 April 2026 (UTC)

Honestly, I'd love a real dark mode for xkcd.com. But one where the comic isn't inverted. Sometimes I prefer to read the comic here on explainxkcd.com since I have mediawiki settings for dark mode, but those don't invert the comic. (I don't think I can make mediawiki settings for space opera mode...) [[User:Orion205|Orion205]] ([[User talk:Orion205|talk]]) 00:28, 2 April 2026 (UTC)
:You should be able to force a custom CSS on this site (with or without any browser-helpers, but there are ones out there that streamline/automate/augment this ability). The AFD-code is applying a full visual filter (over the top of the comic; maybe or maybe not above the mode-selection 'widget', depending upon browser implementation), but sounds like you just want to apply foreground/background inversion as priority (above anything xkcd.com normally 'suggests' via CSS/tag-attributes) to all markup, but leave the comic image (and any other images, like the thumbnails) as is. Might he tricky if any element is "black-on-transparency" image, which assumes white but now has your code turning it black behind the non-transparent black, but you could probably live with it (or make it 75% dark-grey or so?), and non-transparent black-on-white (presuming white all around it) could look strange.
:But you can't tell for sure without trying to tweak your end (or actually checking the source HTML, on the way to doing just that).
:Alternatively, maybe you can isolate the on-site code for just the Dark Mode of the entire-page treatment, modified to 'demask' the filter exactly over the limits of the comic img-rendering area. If it's been done the way I think it's been done (not gonna try to check, 'til I'm not on mobile platform myself) should be a fairly trivial job to add to the fraction of the code you 'borrow'. Or at least a learning experience, as you work out what tweaks do what. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.237.40|82.132.237.40]] 12:22, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

I spent way too long watching screensaver mode to see if it would do anything if the comic hit a corner. [[Special:Contributions/170.142.177.145|170.142.177.145]] 00:31, 2 April 2026 (UTC)
:fyi ive found that the comic panels bounce on the edges of the viewport but move with reference to page coordinates--which means if you scroll just right you can place a corner of your screen where it's going to hit, without having to wait for it to get there on its own - [[User:Vaedez|Vaedez]] ([[User talk:Vaedez|talk]]) 03:39, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

I wonder if the choice of the actual text in the comic is a reference to the Apollo 8 Christmas broadcast of Genesis, due to the Artemis II launch today... or maybe I'm overthinking it and it's simply a joke about light and dark mode. [[Special:Contributions/2601:241:8002:3E0:5CAD:3E02:93FF:FB00|2601:241:8002:3E0:5CAD:3E02:93FF:FB00]] 01:05, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

Anyone test the other April fools comics? [[User:Commercialegg|Commercialegg]] ([[User talk:Commercialegg|talk]]) 01:14, 2 April 2026 (UTC)
:I tried Machine (2916) in dark mode and it just froze after the tutorial. [[User:King Pando|King Pando]] ([[User talk:King Pando|talk]]) 03:34, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

I noticed using some of the modes makes xkcd.com/688 no longer self describing, not sure if its worth noting on either wiki [[User:Daunting Zebra|Daunting Zebra]] ([[User talk:Daunting Zebra|talk]]) 07:31, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

The current explanation of dark mode as 'inverting black and white pixels' isn't quite correct. For example, on [[2623]] a pale yellow colour gets flipped to black. On the other hand, other colours elsewhere are left untouched. So it must be doing 'some very light area of colour palette > black' and presumably 'some very dark area of colour palette > white'. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 11:27, 2 April 2026 (UTC)
: On [[2342]] a light khaki(?) colour gets changed to a dark grey - not even a black. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 11:29, 2 April 2026 (UTC)
: Brown sun, anyone? [[2750]] [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 11:33, 2 April 2026 (UTC)
:Similar to the criteria for the Stained Glass region borders, perhaps? Sufficiently light grey (or unssaturated+light colours) do not 'edge' a given floodfill area, it seems. (See {{xkcd|1811}}, and how it floods/filters that, for example, with pre-coloured ''and'' greyscale text to compare its operational limits upon.) [[Special:Contributions/82.132.237.40|82.132.237.40]] 12:22, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

... ... I was hoping this comic would be actually fun, like ALL previous April 1 comics are... :( It would be much better if it follows its name and the standards of earlier April 1's, i.e. there is only a "dark" option and when you switch to it the story progresses and you continue to do some other things and eventually complete a full xkcd-style "creation" (a great idea!) [[Special:Contributions/203.198.86.210|203.198.86.210]] 11:43, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

unsigned comment (pretend it's April foooools)

Is nobody noticing the fact that Randall was ACTUALLY ON TIME? That's quite rare! --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] 13:58, 2 April 2026 (UTC)

Talk:3227: Creation

2026-04-02T13:57:54Z

DollarStoreBa'al:

User:DollarStoreBa'al/WORKPAGE

2026-03-31T19:37:09Z

DollarStoreBa'al:

<big><big><big>IF YOU AREN'T DOLLARSTOREBA'AL, LEAVE NOW! IT'S A SURPRISE!!!</big></big></big>

<big><big><big><big>I MEAN IT!</big></big></big></big>

{{notice|<big><big><big><big>REMEMBER: ALWAYS PUT ON THE MOTIVATIONAL PLAYLIST BEFORE WORKING</big></big></big></big>}}
{{notice2|<big><big><big><big>ADD MORE SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST</big></big></big></big>}}
==Header Texts==
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" |Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
!Purpose
|-
|Find Archive (3074)
[[3074: Push Notifications]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was created with {{Header link|[http://github.com/cotrone Kevin Controne]}}, {{Header link|[https://chromakode.com Max Goodhart]}}, {{Header link|[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick]}}, {{Header link|[https://github.com/benley Benjamin Staffin]}}, {{Header link|[http://burningcandle.io/ Conor Stokes]}}, and {{Header link|[https://github.com/ayust Amber]}}.}}}}}
|This comic's header text gives credit to those who helped Randall create 2025's April Fools' Day comic. Each link takes you to the person's social media page, GitHub page, or personal website. At the time of writing (October 2025), this is the only comic to have a unique header text past comic #3000, meaning it's been over half a year since a comic has had a unique header.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-07-11]
[[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic accidentally inspired by 
[https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ {{Header link|this Buttersafe comic] {{Header text|from 2011!}}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions that it was 'accidentally inspired' by [https://www.buttersafe.com/2011/02/17/crosswords/ a Buttersafe comic]. It is assumed, but not confirmed, that the custom text was on the front page until the next comic, [[2958]], was published. The header text makes it clear that not only is he a fan of Buttersafe (as shown in the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics I enjoy]] section of [xkcd.com]), but he also did not know of the existence of this comic until after it was published. This is shown with the fact that [https://web.archive.org/web/20240711000851/https://xkcd.com/ it was not shown until the next day]. This text is permanently shown with this comic. As a special situation, this header text did not replace the current global header text, but was instead added below it at the time ([[#2024-05-15_-_Special_10th_anniversary_edition_of_WHAT_IF.3F|10th anniversary for what if?]])
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20240406163326/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-04-06]
[[2916: Machine]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://github.com/spyhi Ed White], [https://twitter.com/uh_oh_thats_bad Alex Garcia], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], 
[http://burningcandle.io/ Conor & Ami Stokes], [https://liranuna.com/ Liran Nuna], [https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick], 
[https://manishearth.github.io/ Manish Goregaokar],

[https://github.com/benley Benjamin Staffin], [https://github.com/ayust Amber], and [https://github.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg] with physics by [https://rapier.rs/ Rapier].}}
| This comic's header text mentions the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Saturday 6 April 2024 until [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] came out on Monday 8 April 2024. The earliest archived version of the next comic is from the following Tuesday [http://web.archive.org/web/20240409060444/https://xkcd.com/ 9 April 2024]. It is assumed that the header text changed late on Monday 8 April 2024, despite the fact that Machine was still up at that time, as shown in [https://web.archive.org/web/20240408225854/https://xkcd.com/ this archive]. When [[2917: Types of Eclipse Photo]] was released, the front page had returned to the normal header.

As seen in the text, many people were involved. Some helped with two previous [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comics]], but there are many more involved in this comic than anything which came before it. Clicking on each person takes you to a link of their Instagram, Twitter, or the homepage of their own website/blog. In the credits, it is seen that the physics for the comic used Rapier, the Fast 2D and 3D physics engine for the {{w|Rust (programming language)| Rust programming language}}. This header text was removed from the homepage on [https://web.archive.org/web/20240409010518/https://xkcd.com/2916/ 2022-04-09], but it stayed as a permanent header for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20]
[[2765: Escape Speed]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today's comic was put together with help from [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ Patrick Clapp], 
[https://amberyu.st/ Amber], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], and [https://www.aiweirdness.com/ Janelle Shane].}}}}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put the comic together. Despite the fact the comic was supposed to be a Wednesday release according to the archives, it was on the homepage from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230420203744/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-20] until Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20230421082400/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-04-21], when the next comic ([[2766: Helium Reserve]]) was released and the page returned to its normal header. This header text remains as a permanent header text for this comic.

Clicking each name takes you to their Instagram/Twitter page or the homepage of their own website/blog. Most had helped with the two previous April Fools' day comic (see below).
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|FIND ARCHIVE HERE}}
[[2729: Planet Killer Comet Margarita]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was drawn for Daniel Becker, based on 
[https://what-if.xkcd.com/162/ his winning question] submitted to the [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2 What If? 2 contest].
|This header celebrated the winner of Randall's What If? 2 Contest, being one Daniel Becker. It mentions that the comic was based off the winning question's entry into the What If? blog.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01]
[[2601: Instructions]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was created with 
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/chromakode @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], 
[https://twitter.com/xDirtyPunkx Conor], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was on the front page from Friday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220401210146/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-01] until Tuesday [https://web.archive.org/web/20220405031003/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-04-05], when [[2602: Linguistics]] came out and the front page returned to its normal header.

Clicking on each of the names takes you to the person's Instagram/Twitter page. Five also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header was only related to 2601, it was removed from the frontpage header, but it stayed up as a permanent header on this specific comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01]
[[2445: Checkbox]]
|{{Header text|This comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], 
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin Cotrone], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], and [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael Leuchtenburg].}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped put it together. It was on the front page from Thursday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210401232108/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-01] until [[2446: Spike Proteins]] released Monday [https://web.archive.org/web/20210405130031/http://xkcd.com/ 2021-04-05].

Each person has a link to their name, the first being a personal homepage, and the other six linking to their Twitter accounts. Five of these people also helped with the previous April Fools' Day comic.

Because this header is related only to this comic, it was removed from the front page and continued as a permanent header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 2020-04-04]
[[2288: Collector's Edition]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This comic's header mentions and gives thanks to the people who helped Randall put it together. It was only on the front page for about 1 day, around the 3rd or [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/http://xkcd.com/#-370,-277 4th of April] 2020, the day before [[2289: Scenario 4]] came out, and the header text returned to normal.

Each name credited has either a personal homepage or a Twitter profile, except for the last name, which isn't linked.

As this header text was only relevant to this comic, it was removed as the front page header and stayed as a permanent header to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20171214171157/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-12-14]
[[1928: Seven Years]]
|{{Header text| Becky Beaton, sister of fellow cartoonist Kate Beaton, 
has also been diagnosed with cancer.

You can support her treatment [https://www.youcaring.com/beckybeaton-1008390 here].}}
|This text was released as a response to the cancer diagnosis of Becky Beaton, the sister of {{w|Kate Beaton}}, the author of the webcomic [http://www.harkavagrant.com/ Hark! A Vagrant]. Although this is not on Randall's list of ''[[Design_of_xkcd.com#Comics_I_enjoy|Comics he enjoys]]'', he is clearly influenced by a cancer diagnosis among someone in his creative field.

Despite the fact that the support page was discontinued, this text continues to stay on this comic. Making this weirder is the fact that Randall has previously done something similar for another friend, Emily, but [[#2014-11-27_-_Help_Emily|that header]] was not made permanent.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES WOOO!!}}
[[1975: Right Click]]
|{{Header text|A number of people collaborated to build this comic, including 
[https://chromakode.com/ @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/aiiane/ Amber] [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest/ @fadinginterest] 
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501/ Kat], [https://twitter.com/cotrone/ Kevin], and [https://90d.ca/ Stereo].
|This comic gave credit to the people that helped Randall put together that year's April Fools' Day comic. Most contributors mentioned in this text have also helped with other comics since then. Each link in the text took you to either the contributors' social media page or their own personal website.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20170428041338/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-04-28]
[[1830: ISS Solar Transit 2]]
|{{Header text|Previously:}} {{Header link|[[1828: ISS Solar Transit|ISS Solar Transit]]}}
|This header links back to [[1828: ISS Solar Transit]], a comic with the same joke setup released on the Monday of the same week
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES!}}
[[1738: Moon Shapes]]
|{{Header text|Thank you to Phil Plait for the correction on #4!}}
|This header gives credit to Phil Plait, who corrected a mistake in the comic and prompted Randall to update the comic after its release.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161010215516/http://xkcd.com/1723/ 2016-10-10]
[[1723: Meteorite Identification]]
|{{Header text|Note: Jolyon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], made a similar chart way before me!}}
|This Header text gives credit to Joylon, founder of [http://www.mindat.org/ mindat.org], who made a very similar comic to this long before Randall. This Header text is permanently attached to this comic.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160512102325/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-05-12]
[[1679: Substitutions 3]]
|{{notice|FInd the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This comic was the third installment of the ''Substitutions'' series. As he did the same with [[#Substitutions 2|the second]], the header text is very similar.

This header text is a permanent staple of this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20161231231600/http://xkcd.com/1663/ 2016-04-04]
[[1663: Garden]]
|{{Header text|Protip: If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it. 
You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}
|This comic had a header text to help people use the comic when it came out. It was the global header text for some time, before it disappeared from the main header and remained as the header for Garden.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20160104171722/http://xkcd.com/ 2016-01-04]
[[1625: Substitutions 2]]
|{{notice|Find the actual text, remember the 1}}
|This header text was used as a link to the previous installment of the ''substitutions'' series. When [[xkcd_Header_text#Substitutions_3|Substitutions 3]], Randall made a separate header text linking to Substitutions 1 and 2. It was on the main page while the comic was up, and continues as a header text for this comic.
|style="background-color: #ffff00" | Trans-comic link
|-
|{{notice|[F]AR[T]CHIVES}}
[[1446: Landing]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|A big thank-you to [https://www.planetary.org/blogs/emily-lakdawalla/ Emily Lakdawalla] for help and advice on this comic.}}}}}
|This header gives credit to Emily Lakdawalla, who helped Randall create the comic, which was a live comic-based recreation of the landing of Philae, a probe designed by the ESA to land on Comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. It is assumed that Emily was the reason that Randall was able to get current information about the landing so quickly.
|style="background-color: #db00d4 | Credits
|-
|{{notice|notice|notice|notice|}}
[[1127: Congress]]
|{{Header text|You can get this comic as a [https://store.xkcd.com/products/congress-poster poster]!
|This header text is the only one to be a permanent header text promoting the store. At the time of writing (November 2025), the store is offline, meaning that this link doesn't work. This is the most recent comic-specific header text to promote the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-07-09]
[[1079: United Shapes]]
|{{Header text|There's a larger version of this map 
[http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ here] (Colorado is [http://xkcd.com/1079/colorado/ here]). 
It's also available as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709045709/http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#StateMap poster].}}
|This header was only on July 9th, 2012, the day this comic came out. The day after, every page except the front page displayed [[xkcd_Header_text#2012-07-10_-_New:_what-if.xkcd.com|a different header]].

On the 13th of July, other pages had a new version of the header above. Later, 1079 gained a special combined header text, removing the part about Colorado and consolidating the unique header text into a single sentence. The new global header text, promoting the first installment of the What if? blog, was inserted below the unique text, creating a very unique combination header. Possibly due to a bug, the What if? announcement remains on the comic to this day, despite the fact that it was a normal global header, which changed for all other pages many years ago.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|Put me down as 'not excited'}}
[[1052: Every Major's Terrible]]
|{{Header text|Cool--someone's already taken a crack at [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1VhsNOwPU/ singing this]!
|This header text promoted an attempt at someone singing the comic, which was a parody of the {{w|Major-General's Song}}. It links to a YouTube video of the attempt. As seen from the text, this header was not up with the release of the comic, but instead came out later.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120425220409/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-25]
[[1047: Approximations]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Lots of emails mention the physicist favorite, 1 year = pi x 107 seconds. 
75^4 is a hair more accurate, but it's hard to top 3,141,592's elegance.}}}}}
|This comic has a permanent header text stating that many people emailed Randall about a separate approximation for the amount of seconds in a year. However, because the earliest archive already shows this text, it is unlikely that Randall actually received these emails before changing the text.

This header text was unique to this comic from the start, as other comics contained the global header text at the time of 1047's release date.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120401151639/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-01]
[[1037: Umwelt]]
|{{Header text|You can get posters, prints, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store].}}
|This comic's header text promotes the xkcd store permanently. Despite the fact that the comic was on the front page, this was a comic-exclusive header from the very beginning, as other comics had the global header text on 1037's release date.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120319130702/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-19]
[[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]]
|{{Header text|A helpful reader has provided an [https://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 s/keyboard/leopard/ user script].}}
|In response to the joke of this comic, a reader created a browser extension that replaces each instance of the word 'keyboard' with the word 'leopard'. Randall appears to have gotten this script before its official release, as it was already on the header on the day the comic was released. While the link does not go anywhere useful any longer, an archived version of the link can be accessed [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321174019/http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/128626 here].

When [[1032: Networking]] came out on [https://web.archive.org/web/20120321205835/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-03-21], the header text had returned to how it was before.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111229043804/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-12-29]
[[996: Making Things Difficult]]
|{{Header text|Some context for the cancer comics: 
[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/]}}
|This header text links to Randall's [[Blag]], providing context for the recent comics relating to cancer. Around that time, his then-fiancee was diagnosed with Stage three Breast Cancer, which resulted in more emotional comics relating to cancer, leaving many readers confused.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120404110059/http://xkcd.com:80/980 2012-04-04]
[[980: Money]]
|{{Header text|This one was fun (and exhausting) to make. 
There's a poster of it in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/money-poster store]!}}
|This header text links to the store page for this comic, containing a large poster of the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20111115231643/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2011-11-15]
[[977: Map Projections]]
|{{Header text|It turns out Monday was Steve Waterman's birthday. 
His [https://web.archive.org/web/20111118003418/http://www.watermanpolyhedron.com/ site] has posters of his map, 
plus maybe the world's only Winkel Tripel-critiquing poetry.}}
|This header text mentions the birthday of Steve Waterman, and links to the homepage of his website.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA, THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!}}
[[931: Lanes]]
|{{Header text|[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Some context].}}
|This header text gave context to the comic, which was in relation to cancer. At that point, Randall's wife was battling {{w|Breast cancer}}, so cancer was a major part of Randall's life at that point in time.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|HO-HO, HEE-HEE, HA-HA}}
[[920: YouTube Parties]]
|{{Header text|Oops! It seems I [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/07/04/oops/ wasn't the first one] to do this joke.}}
|This header text, which is very similar to the header text for [[2957: A Crossword Puzzle]], admits that Randall was accidentally inspired by a different comic which had done the same joke earlier. The link in the text took you to a blag post admitting to the accidental plagiarism.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|weer}}
[[896: Marie Curie]]
|{{Header text|Today's comic might be familiar to a few dozen of you. :) 
P.S. [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a message to those who 'might be familar' with the comic. The second was to promote a new Blag post, titled ''Michael Bay's Scenario''.
|
|-
|{{notice|Boneless Chicken}}
[[870: Advertising]]
|{{Header text|Note: This comic's filename was originally 'advertising.png'. If you 
couldn't see it, that was just your AdBlock zealously protecting you.}}}
|This header text let readers know about an issue with the comic not showing up that some users were experiencing. The comic was, apparently, being shown by displaying a PNG of the comic, which people's AdBlockers were mistaking for an advertisement, preventing the comic from appearing.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|8,866,550}}
[[865: Nanobots]]
|{{Header text|xkcd.com now has IPv6 connectivity. If [https://test-ipv6.com/ you] can't reach it, you or your 
ISP have [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPv6_brokenness_and_DNS_whitelisting/ misconfigured equipment]. Sadly, I now have no way to tell you.}}
|This comic's header lets readers know that xkcd supports IPv6 (Internet Protocol Version Six) connectivity, which assigns each device with an IP address and increases the amount of possible IP addresses to over 900 Undecillion. It also tells readers that if they are unable to access that connectivity, either they or their ISP haven't configured their equipment correctly. However, Randall admits he has no way to tell readers which end has the issue.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|2011-01-04
[[851: Na]]
|{{Header text|I can't ''believe'' I forgot Hey Jude. 
I don't get do-overs, but I couldn't resist making [https://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/ a fixed version].}}
|This header text appeared after Randall made this comic, consisting of songs known for repeating the lyric 'na'. After realizing he forgot 'Hey Jude' by {{w|The Beatles}}, he made a separate version of the comic with 'Hey Jude' included. See more in the comic's [[851:_Na#Trivia|trivia section]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|Neenannerneenannerneenannerneenanner}}
[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://www.smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weiner]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the last one before returning to normal. This header lets leaders know about who contributed to the comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Zach Weinersmith}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|choking on your alibis}}
[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://overcompensating.com/ Jeffrey Rowland]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the fourth one of five. It lets the readers know who contributed and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}}, author of the webcomic [https://www.wigucomics.com/oc/index.php?/ Overcompensating].
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|But it's just the price I pay!}}
[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://foxtrot.com Bill Amend]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the third one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Bill Amend}}, author of the webcomic {{w|FoxTrot}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|not nice}}
[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [http://www.buttercupfestival.com David Troupes]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was a reminder to readers about the ongoing Guest Week, this comic being the second one of five. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was David Troupes, author of the webcomic {{w|Buttercup Festival}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|eciton}}
[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
|{{Header text|Guest week! Today's comic is contributed by [https://questionablecontent.net Jeph Jacques]. 
Five guest comics this week! XKCD should be back to normal after that.}}
|This header text was to let readers know of Guest Week, this comic being the first of five guest comics. It lets readers know who contributed to that comic and when xkcd was expected to return to normal. For this comic, the contributor was {{w|Jeph Jacques}}, author of the webcomic {{w|Questionable Content}}.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|meweeeeeeewrr}}
[[802: Online Communities 2]]
|{{Header text|Full view [https://xkcd.com/802_large/ here], poster [https://store.xkcd.com/products/online-communities-poster here]. Note: While I was working on this, 
Ethan Bloch posted [https://web.archive.org/web/20120111133638/https://www.flowtown.com/blog/the-2010-social-networking-map his own update] of my {{xkcd|256|my 2007 map}}. Check it out, too!}}
|This header text served two purposes. One was to give a larger version of the comic and also promote its poster, which could be found in the xkcd store before it was shut down. The second is to promote the fact that one Ethan Bloch had created his own update of {{xkcd|256|comic 256}}. The link above now takes you to an archive link as the original site is now defunct.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20100514072436/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-12]
[[739: Malamanteau]]
|{{Header text| At Wikipedia's request, I release this comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This comic's header text mentions that this specific comic is released under a Creative Commons 3.0 license. The link in the header text goes to the page regarding the Attribution Share-Alike 3.0 United States (CC BY-SA 3.0 US) license. Normally, xkcd is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 (CC BY-NC 2.5) license.

This comic's header didn't appear until between 2 and 4 months after it was published, with the earliest archive with the custom header text being from [https://web.archive.org/web/20100913003146/http://xkcd.com/739/ September 13th].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|ow}}
[[681: Gravity Wells]]
|{{Header text|Click on the comic to view the full-size version}}
|This simple header text lets readers know that, if they want a full-size version, they can click on the comic to access it.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|whuiae}}
[[657: Movie Narrative Charts]]
|{{Header text|This comic is also available as a poster [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters/products/movie-narrative-charts-poster here]! 
Click on today's comic to view the full-size version!}}
|This header text served two purposes. The first was to promote the fact that the comic could be acquired as a poster in the store before it was shut down. The second purpose was to let readers know that, if they wanted a larger version of the comic, they could access it by clicking on the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|{{notice|archive find}}
[[645: RPS]]
|{{Header text|Comic today's you confuses [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_Polish_notation here] click if.}}
|This header text was a parody of the comic, being written in {{w|Reverse Polish notation}}. In normal notation, it would be read as 'Click here if today's comic confuses you', with the word 'here' linking to the Wikipedia page for Reverse Polish notation.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard}}
[[580: The Race: Part 4]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the last comic in the series and was released on a Thursday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 2}}
[[579: The Race: Part 3]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the third comic in the series, and was released on the normal release date of Wednesday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 3}}
[[578: The Race: Part 2]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day (through Friday).}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the second installment in the series, being released on a Tuesday. This comic was also where the '(through Friday)' portion of the header got added. It's possible that people got confused and assumed that Randall would release 7 comics over 7 days, when he would actually be only releasing comics every day until Friday.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|skamteboard 4}}
[[577: The Race: Part 1]]
|{{Header text| For this week, xkcd will update once a day.}}
|This header text let readers know that, for that week only, a new comic would be released every day instead of the normal Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule due to the 'The Race' series of comics. This comic was the first installment in the series, and was released on a Monday
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Those is great pants!}}
[[563: Fermirotica]]
|{{Header text|There are xkcd prints available in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
[https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=sqrt(2%2F(pi*18000%2F(mi^2)*80%2Fyear*30+minutes) Example Google sex calculation]
|This header served two purposes. It promoted the fact that you could get xkcd prints in the xkcd store before it was shut down, and also gave an example of the content shown in the comic.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20081014232952/http://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-13]
[[488: Steal This Comic]]
|{{Header text|{{{1|Note: the [https://www.amazon.com/MP3-Music-Download/b?ie=UTF8&node=163856011 Amazon.com MP3 store] sells DRM-free music. Kudos.}}}}}
|This comic and header text was made as a complaint of Digital Rights Management, or {{w|DRM}}. The header text makes a proclamation that the Amazon MP3 store sells DRM-free music, telling his readers how to acquire music not affected by DRM.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|You're doing it again}}
[[482: Height]]
|{{Header text|This comic is available as [https://store.xkcd.com/products/height-poster a poster print].}}
|This simple header served the purpose of advertising the fact that you could get this comic as a poster in the xkcd store, before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-05]
[[472: House of Pancakes|472: House of Pancakes]]
|{{Header text|(Today's comic is a parody of [https://www.amazon.com/House-Leaves-Mark-Z-Danielewski/dp/0375703764 House of Leaves].)}}
|When this comic was the newest, it was shown on the front page of xkcd, as seen here the day after release on [https://web.archive.org/web/20080906103932/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2008-09-06]. However, this header was only on this comic, and the normal header returned to the front page after comic 473 was released.
|style="background-color: #db00d4" | Credits
|-
|{{notice|the right ones}}
[[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
See: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0 Original Discovery Channel video]
|This header text serves to let the reader know of a video which they could watch, which contains the song that the comic is a parody of.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|where is my Spanish rn}}
[[433: Journal 5]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the final one in the series.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Before the nouns}}
[[432: Journal 4]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|374|Journal}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series, and encouraged them to go back to the first comic in order to see each installment of the series in order. This installment was the fourth one in the series of five.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|This is let's write}}
[[426: Geohashing]]
|{{Header text|What is this about? See the [https://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/ wiki].}}
|This header text allowed the reader to do further research on the topic by linking to the official xkcd wiki, which was part of the long-defunct [[Forums]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|{{notice|We will ever run out?}}
[[405: Journal 3]]
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Previously: {{xkcd|377|Journal 2}}
|This header text let the reader know that this comic was part of the 'Journal' series. Unlike the other installments of the Journal series, this text linked to the previous installment rather than the first installment.
|style="background-color: #63f2b0" | Comic Series
|-
|{{notice|Es el diablo}]
[[343: 1337: Part 3]]
|{{Header text|For use on Wikipedia, I release this particular 
comic under a [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ cc-by-sa] license.}}
|This header text served the purpose of letting readers know that Randall had specially released this comic under a CC BY-SA 3.0 license, allowing for the image to be uploaded to {{w|Wikipedia}}. Normally, Randall normally releases his comics under a CC BY-NC 2.5 license, which, at the time, was not allowed to be uploaded to Wikipedia.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|}

{| class="sortable wikitable"
! Date & Comic
! scope="col" data-sort-type="text" style=max-width:4em |Header text
! scope="col" class="unsortable" |Explanation
! scope="col" data-sort-type="number" | Purpose
|-
|From[https://web.archive.org/web/20260107215729/https://xkcd.com/3190/ 2026-01-07] {{nowrap|(during [[3190: Tensegrity]])}} until present.
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. This was the first change in the header text in over a year, and the first time the header text went to the standard text after almost exactly 4 straight years of book promotions.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241205201038/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[3020: Infinite Armada Chess]])}} until FIND
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]— 
revised and annotated with brand-new illustrations 
and answers to important questions you never thought to ask—Out now. 
Order it [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this text and the previous global header text is the final hyphen. The first link goes to the page for the new what if? book on xkcd, with the other link going to the Harper Collins (the publisher) page for the book. This header was up for over a year, except for the one month when Randall [[#2024-10-16 - Promotion of Kamala Harris for president|endorsed Harris]] for president. This makes it the longest time that ever that the header text has been left unchanged.

Because the previous header texts as well as the [[Countdown in header text|Header text countdown]] all promoted some sort of what if? book, the header has been continuously used to promote what if? for nearly 4 years at the time of writing.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241116184702/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-11-16] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241204160618/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-12-04] {{nowrap|(during [[3019: Advent Calendar Advent Calendar]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|The only difference between this header text and the next one was that during this time period, only preorders were available.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20241017002108/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2999: Bad Map Projection: The United Stralia]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241115181146/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2024-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[3012: The Future of Orion]])}}
|[[File:xkcd homepage strip harris for president.png|400x400px]]
|This header text was Randall's official endorsement of {{w|Kamala Harris}} for President during the {{w|2024 United States presidential election}}. He also posted the same image on his[https://x.com/xkcd/status/1853098106667114801 Twitter (formally X)] account and on his [https://bsky.app/profile/xkcd.com/post/3la2jku6ace2f Bluesky] account on November 3rd, two days before the election.

This text was up until November 11th, after the election had taken place and {{w|Donald Trump}} was declared the winner.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240515200351/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2933: Elementary Physics Paths]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20241015192147/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2998: Ravioli-Shaped Objects]])}}
|{{Header text|[https://xkcd.com/what-if/ Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF?]—revised and 
annotated with brand-new illustrations and answers to important 
questions you never thought to ask—coming from November 2024. Preorder [https://bit.ly/WhatIf10th here]!}}
|This text promotes the preorder of the 10th anniversary edition of the original what if? book. The first link goes to the page for the book on xkcd and the other link goes to the book's Harper Collins page (Harper Collins is the book's publisher). The same text was displayed after Randall's endorsement of Kamala Harris for president.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20240320173158/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[2909: Moon Landing Mission Profiles]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240514034349/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2932: Driving PSA]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is on YouTube! The first video answers 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed Hubble at Earth?]” Follow the 
[https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif What If?] channel to be notified about new videos.}}}}}
|This header promotes the new what if? {{w|YouTube}} channel, in which Randall narrates a post on the what if? blog. At this point, the global header text had been promoting what if? for over two years.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20231129184009/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2861: X Value]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20240319134138/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2908: Moon Armor Index]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/ What If?] is now on YouTube! 
Check out the first video for the answer to 
“[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyizrk8-0 What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?]” 
and follow [https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif xkcd’s What If? The Video Series channel] to be notified about each new video.}}}}}
|This header promotes the what if? YouTube channel, narrated by Randall. The first link goes to the what if? page on xkcd, and the other two go to the new YouTube channel. A small change occurred [https://web.archive.org/web/20240314113602/https://xkcd.com/ 2024-03-14], where the first two lines became one line, making the alignment worse. This new version only lasted five days before a change was made, replacing it with a different, although very similar, header text.
|style="background-color: #f57451" |Channel promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230831200321/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-31]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2822: *@gmail.com]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20231128174224/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[2860: Decay Modes]])}}
|{{Header text| What if? 2 is [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/#UK now available] in paperback in the UK!}}
|This header text promotes the paperback version of what if? 2, notifying readers that it was available in the UK. The link goes to the page on xkcd about the what if? 2 book, and directing to the UK order link, where there was now an option to order a paperback copy.

An image was placed above the text, showing the front cover of the new book. Because this was not specifically related to what if? 2, it ended a streak of over 22 months where the header text was constantly promoting the book since the [[#2022-01-10_-_Standard_text_with_countdown|countdown]] began in January 2022.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20230217185629/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2739: Data Quality]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230830064414/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2821: Path Minimization]])}}
|[[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|300x300px]]
|This header has no text, only an image of the front cover of the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220923182825/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-23]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20230216181705/https://xkcd.com/ 2023-02-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2738: Omniknot]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 bestseller.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header consists of two images, with the one promoting the NYT bestseller list on the left.

This header somewhat obviously celebrates the fact that what if? 2, shortly after release, had claimed a spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913142432/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2672: What If? 2 Flowchart]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220922150042/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2675: Pilot Priority List]])}}
| [[File:what if? 2 out now.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header announces the release of Randall's what if? 2 book.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the book's page on the xkcd website.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-12]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220913134002/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2671: Rotation]])}}
|[[File:one day till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to what had come out just two days before, which instead displayed an image showing 3 days.

The {{w|Les Miserables}} song mentioned is ''One Day More'', which is a fitting title for a song stuck in his head.

Each image is a link, which takes you to the xkcd page for ''what if? 2''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220911102450/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}} until 2022-09-12 (during [[2670: Interruption]])
|[[File:3 days till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File:Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header acts as a countdown for Randall's ''what if? 2'' book. This is a very similar header to the header showing one week. which came out 4 days beforehand, and the header showing one day, which came out just one day after this header released.

Each image is a link, both taking you to the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220907211736/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]

From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220912125617/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-07]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220910024549/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2670: Interruption]])}}
|[[File:1 week till what if? 2.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the third straight header to feature a two-image design, where the countdown was on the left and the book's cover was on the right.

It promoted the soon-to-be-released ''what if? 2'' book, which had been heavily promoted for nearly two weeks up to that point.

Each image is a link, which takes you the xkcd page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220811055445/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-11]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2657: Complex Vowels]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220816124823/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20220827232205/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-27]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2664: Cloud Swirls]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220906191403/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2668: Artemis Quote]])}}
|[[File:Preorder what if? 2 header.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text, which advertised the fact that preorders were open for ''what if? 2'', was the global header text for two different stints. Instead of this being the global header from August 11th until September 6th, it was interrupted for 9 days while Randall's book tour was ongoing.

The image to the left was a link, which took you to a [https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 what if? 2 contest]. In this contest, one contestant's question would be answered by Randall and included in the book.

The image to the right takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220817161136/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-17]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2659: Unreliable Connection]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220826202043/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2663: Tetherball Configurations]])}}
|[[File:what if? 2 book tour.png|400x400px]] [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header was the first header of several to consist of two distinct images, and the third straight to contain the image of the book's cover after the countdown ended.

It promotes a book tour that Randall was taking at the time, to promote ''what if? 2''. Clicking the image took you to the [https://xkcd.com/events/ events page] of xkcd. At the time, it showed you a calendar with each planned stop on the book tour marked, covering the US and London.

The image on the right takes you to ''what if? 2'''s dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220719153239/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-19]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2647: Capri Suns]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220810034709/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-08-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2656: Scientific Field Prefixes]])}}
|{{Header text|Preorder What If? 2 (all US preorders eligible) and}} {{Header link|[https://sites.prh.com/whatif2/ enter our contest]}} {{Header text|for a chance to win a dedicated comic and What If blog post!}}[[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header contains text which promotes what if? 2, which was recently made available to preorder at that time.

Clicking the link in the text takes you to a site which allowed users to compete to have their question, along with an answer, be put in the book. While this link is now defunct, you can access an archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718171904/https://sites.prh.com/whatif2 here].

Clicking the image of the book's cover takes you to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220201000434/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-02-01]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2575: What If? 2]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220718145816/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[2646: Minkowski Space]])}}
|{{Header text|What If? 2: Additional Serious Scientific Answers to 
Absurd Hypothetical Questions comes out 9/13. 
Preorder [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ here!]}} [[File: Countdown in header text 0136.png|200x200px]]
|This header text was the first header to promote ''what if? 2''. It promoted the fact that preorders were available, and that the book would come out 7 months later, on September 13th.

It also was the first of many headers promoting the book to consist of two parts, this one having some lines of text and an image of the book's cover.

This header's release coincided with multiple changes to the site, including a comic which also announced the new book and a change to the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#xkcd_links|xkcd links]] section of the site at the top-left corner. It now included links to books, and especially to this specific book.

The image of the book's cover, the link in the text, and the comic itself are all links to the book's dedicated xkcd page.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20220110183238/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-10]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220131124817/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-31] {{nowrap|(during [[2574: Autoresponder]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}

[[File: Countdown in header text full animation.gif|200x200px]]
|This header text was an image, which slowly zoomed out and moved to reveal a promotion for ''What if? 2'', along with the standard header text.

In the image, there was a countdown, which began reading '''20d 22h 0m''' and ticked down every minute until only ten minutes were left. At that point, the image began shaking, and the countdown began counting seconds until it reached zero, at which point the final frame, which showed a snapshot of the book's cover, was displayed for a few minutes before the header text updated and the next comic came out.

When viewing the archives, the countdown actually still functions, and follows the internal clock of the user's computer for 59 minutes.

For a full transcript and explanation of this header, see [[Countdown in header text]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20220108044654/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-08]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}} until 2022-01-10 {{nowrap|(during [[2565: Latency]])}}
|{{Header text|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This header text was a return to the standard header text, which had not appeared as the global header since [[#2018-11-07 - Back to standard text|November 7th, 2018]], making this the longest period of time without the standard header text appearing even once.

As the [[#2022-01-10 - Standard text with countdown|countdown]] was added to it on the tenth, it was only the global header in this form for two days.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20211220211220/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-20]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2557: Immunity]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20220106100957/https://xkcd.com/ 2022-01-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2564: Sunshield]])}}
|{{Header text|For anyone trying to find What If? this year, 
it's in stock at [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 Barnes & Noble], [https://m.booksamillion.com/p/What-If/Randall-Munroe/9780544272996 Books-a-Million], and [https://bookshop.org/books/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-9781483041827/9780544272996 Bookshop]}}
|This header text mentions the fact that, for anybody who wishes to purchase what if? for Christmas, it was in stock at multiple different book retailers. Each link is the corresponding store's link for ''[[What If? (book)|What If?]]''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200604003700/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-03]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2315: Eventual Consistency]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20211219202204/https://xkcd.com/ 2021-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[2556: Turing Complete]])}}
|[[File:BLM Header.png|200x200px]]
|This header promoted {{w|Black lives Matter}}, showing a single-panel comic with [[Cueball]] (possibly representing [[Randall]]), saying 'Black Lives Matter' with a grey box next to him reading '[https://www.joincampaignzero.org/ How To Help]'. However, instead of just this box being a link, the entire image is a link to joining Campaign Zero, a part of the BLM movement.

It came out shortly after the {{w|Killing of George Floyd}}, which sparked {{w|George Floyd protests|large protests in the US}} and received large amount of national and global media coverage. This header stayed for over 18 months, making this possibly the longest-staying header in xkcd history.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200602213017/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-06-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2314: Carcinization]])}}
|''(no header text)''
|This was the first time that xkcd had gone without a header, especially for an extended period of time. After the previous header was removed, no header was inserted in its place, not even the standard go-to header. It stayed empty for almost two months, until the BLM header was inserted.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200404014814/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-04]
 {{nowrap|(during [[2288: Collector's Edition]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200405042955/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2289: Scenario 4]])}}
|{{Header text|Today's comic was put together by 
[https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin], [https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin], 
[https://www.instagram.com/fading_interest/ @fading_interest], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and Christopher Night.}}
|This header text was only up for one day, and gives credit to those who put together the 2020 [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which had taken two extra days to release due to 'technical reasons' (see the previous header). While this header was only up for one comic, and continues as a comic-specific header, this was a global header while the April Fools' comic was on the front page.

Oddly, when this header was removed after [[2289: Scenario 4]], no header came to replace it, leading to a 2-month period where there was no global header text at all.
|style="background-color: #db00d4;" | Credits
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20200402234828/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200403012612/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|{{Header text|Note: For technical reasons Wednesday's comic will be posted Thursday instead.}} 
{{Header text|Apologies for the delay!}}
|This header come directly before 2020's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]]. It apologized for the delay of the comic, stating that technical difficulties along with the overall complexity of the comic pushed its release date back one day, meaning the comic was posted on a Thursday instead of the usual Wednesday.

This comic was the first in over a year to not promote How To?, and was the first to not promote a book since [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06].

This delayed upload schedule created circumstances which made it so [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]] stayed two extra days on the front page, meaning the third comic of the week, [[2289: Scenario 4]], was uploaded [[2289:_Scenario_4#Trivia|on a Saturday]].
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122214439/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2232: Hotel Room Party]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191201191025/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2235: Group Chat Rules]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20200116190038/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200401221435/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]])}}
|[[File:How To Header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the global header for two distinct stints, being interrupted by the Christmas promotion of the book. It was also the last header to promote How To, which had continuously been promoted in the global header text for over a year at that point.

It gives a quick promotion of the book in an image, followed by multiple links which take you to different websites where you can purchase the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191202223745/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2236: Is it Christmas?]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20200115155040/https://xkcd.com/ 2020-01-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2255: Tattoo Ideas]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 2.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|You can get it here: 
[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], 
[https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This was the Christmas promotion of Randall's new book, How To. Despite the fact that it was solely meant to promote the book for the Christmas season, it remained up until January 16th.

This header was very similar to the previous header, with the only changes being made to the image.

Each link in the text takes you to each brand's respective page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191106204314/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191122044456/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2231: the Time Before And After Land]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 3.png|400x400px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world/id1475319694 Apple], [https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems/369279 Audiobooks], [https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/How-To-Audiobook/1473680360?qid=1574679523&sr=1-1&pf_rd_p=c6e316b8-14da-418d-8f91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=DX3EZ14M14CFQPP9GHJY&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1 Audible], [https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Randall_Munroe_How_To?id=LzSGDwAAQBAJ Google Play], and [https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9780525635680 Libro.fm]}}}}}
|This header text was used to promote How To, which had come out a couple months beforehand. As always, clicking anywhere on the image takes you to the [https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/576760/how-to/ book's page on Penguin Random House], where you could find the audio sample.

Each of the links takes you to that brand's respective page for How To. This is also the latest header text to promote any sort of audio.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20191002005854/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20191105164001/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2224: Software Updates]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 4.png]]

{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be at New York Comic Con! 
I'm giving [https://www.newyorkcomiccon.com/Explore/Panels/Panels-And-Screenings/#/event/how-todo-anything-with-randall-munroe-creator-of-xkcd a talk on Thursday], and on Friday 
[https://smbc-comics.com/ Zach Weinersmith] and I will be hosting [https://www.caveat.nyc/event/how-to--absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems-10-4-2019 an event at Caveat NYC].}}}}}
|This Header simultaneously promotes the book How To, with each of the links in the first part of the text going to the brand's respective pages for the book, and the fact that Randall would be going to the {{w|New York Comic Con}}, a multi-day comic book fan convention.

It states that Randall would be giving a presentation that Thursday at the Comic Con, and would also be hosting an event at Caveat NYC, an event venue on the island of Manhattan.

Over the course of this header's existence, small changes were made, but nothing major enough to be granted its own row.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190930234245/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-30] {{nowrap|(during [[2209: Fresh Pears]])}} until 2019-10-02 ''(no archived version)'' {{nowrap|(during [[2210: College Athletes]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 5.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/23/trackingcode/PRH3D17167A3B Target]}}}}}
|This header features [[Cueball]], representing [[Randall]], commenting on how How To, the book this header was promoting, was 'tons of fun' to write, and that it can be preordered by clicking a blue link. As always, there are no HTML image maps used, meaning that clicking anywhere on the image will take you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.

Each link provided below the image takes you to each brand's page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190911053115/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190929223547/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-29] {{nowrap|(during [[2208: Drone Fishing]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 6.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 B&N], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-randall-munroe/1130494832?ean=9780525686910#/ B&N Exclusive Edition], [https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple], [https://www.audible.com/search?advsearchKeywords=How+To+Randall+Munroe&source_code=COMA0213WS031709&SID=PRHA9A5E24CFB--9780525635680 Audible]}}}}}
|This Header text was used to promote the fact that How To, which had been released just a few days prior. After the header promoting the book's release date was removed, this Header took its place. The image consists of an image of the book's cover, with some decoration around it, and text beneath it. This text provides links which go to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The image also states that {{w|Serena Williams}} and {{w|Chris Hadfield}} featured in the book, which they do. Serena Williams' presence in the book is also mentioned in the [[:Category:Book promotion|promotion comic]] [[2190: Serena Versus the Drones|''Serena Versus the Drones''.]]

Serena Williams is a retired professional tennis player and former world #1 on the {{w|Women's Tennis Association}}'s rankings. u

Chris Hadfield is a retired Canadian astronaut, singer, engineer, and former Royal Canadian Air Force fighter pilot. He served on two space shuttle missions and has spent five months as the commander of the {{w|International Space Station}}.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190904051509/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[2198: Throw]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190909211737/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2200: Unreachable State]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 7.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text celebrated the release date of How To.

The image consists of an image with two images of the book shown, with a drawing of [[Cueball]] riding two quadcopters up to change a lightbulb in a ceiling lamp, while two other characters are watching, one of whom is holding a ladder. Beneath the image are links to order to book from various sites, and clicking the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190903051503/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 8.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1| Order: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text was a joke which Randall performed on his viewers on How To's release date, which is tailored so that an average xkcd reader would get it. It jokes that there are two different versions of the book for two differing calendar systems. The Gregorian calendar (the calendar we use today) replaced the Julian calendar because the latter had an issue, which caused an increasing discrepancy between the actual date and the weather associated with it. The Gregorian calendar is much more accurate in terms of the solar year.

Because of this increasing discrepancy, the date shown on the Julian calendar is 13 days (now 15) behind the date shown on the Gregorian Calendar.

This header was only up for a day, and it was changed to a more normal celebration the next day.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190827082224/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-27] {{nowrap|(during [[2194: How to Send a File]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190902042108/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2197: Game Show]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|My new book, How To, comes out next week!}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|Read an exclusive excerpt about transmission [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/26/how-to-send-a-file/ here].}}}}} 
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header simply promotes the new book How To, and the fact it was out in a week. Unlike the multiple headers promoting How To both before and after this one, it consists solely of a few lines of text. It provides links to the respective brand's page for the new book.

The second line also contains a link to one of his blog posts, which contains an excerpt from one of the chapters.

A later version of the header included these links, as well as a link to the book tour. The page now contained the winner of the book tour contest, {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}. Despite the fact that this wasn't a countdown, it stayed up until the book's release date on September 3rd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190826062701/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-08-26] {{nowrap|(during [[2193: Well-Ordering Principle]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 9.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder ''How To'': [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This image promotes a contest which allows a US reader to win a sketch of themselves in his new book, How To, which would come out that September. It also contains a number of links which go to the respective brand's dedicated page for the book.

Clicking on the image takes you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/05/win-an-xkcd-sketch/ blag post] about the event, titled ''Win an xkcd sketch''.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190803222711/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-03] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190806052948/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2185: Cumulonimbus]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 10.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This Header, like many of those which came both before and after it, promotes the new book How To, which was coming out in just under a month at the time. This image promotes said fact, with an image of the book's cover to the left of the text.

Below the image, there are four links, each taking you to the respective brand's page for the book, allowing you to preorder it.

Clicking on the image took you to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/08/02/how-to-chapter-list-and-introduction/ blag post] titled ''How To Chapter List and Introduction'', which contained How To's table of contents and introduction.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190710165920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190714175710/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2175: Flag Interpretation]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190723205152/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190802192259/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2184: Unpopular Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder:[https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}
|This header text, like many which had come before and after it, promotes How To, a book which, at the time, would have been releasing in about 2 months. It had two distinctive stints as the header text, being interrupted by the promotion of his ComiCon appearance for about a week.

This header was the first header to include preorder links below the image, each taking you to a specific brand's page to preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190715181016/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2176: How Hacking Works]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190722192637/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2179: NWS Warnings]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Going to San Diego Comic Con this week? I'll [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/07/15/san-diego-comic-con/ see you there]!}}}}}
|This header text was a brief break from the [[How To]] promotion, instead promoting a talk which he would give at that year's San Diego Comic Con. During the Con, he gave a talk and appeared in some panels, before finally handing out signed copies of [[How To]] almost a month before its official release.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20190709162102/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[2173: Trained a Neural Net]])}} 
|[[File:How To Header 11.png|500x500px]]
|This header was used solely to promote [[How To]], which would be coming out in 3 months at the time. It shows images of the book's cover, with miscellaneous drawings from How To scattered throughout the middle of the image, with text promoting the book. This header only stayed up for a day in this style, before adding a line of links showing where to preorder the book below the image.

Clicking on the image takes you to xkcd's dedicated page for the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190625190843/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-25] {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190708155517/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-07-08] {{nowrap|(during [[2172: Lunar Cycles]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 12.png|500x500px]]
|This simplistic header promoted a contest which allowed for the readers of xkcd to choose a town which the How To book tour would visit. Clicking on the image takes you to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ a blag post] outlining the contest details. Using only book titles, you were instructed to create a story, with the longest sentence improving your chances of winning. The image visualized what submissions may look like, with 15 people standing side by side, each holding a book. The eventual winner of this contest was {{w|Juneau, Alaska}}.

From left to right, the characters visualized in the image are [[Megan]], [[Cueball]], a man with blonde hair, [[Jill]], [[Blondie]], two [[Hairy]]s, [[White Hat]], a kid with curly hair, [[Hairbun]], Cueball, Megan, [[Knit Cap]], [[Ponytail]], and [[Beret Guy]].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190615100645/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-15] {{nowrap|(during [[2163: Chernobyl]]}} until 2019-06-25 {{nowrap|(during [[2167: Motivated Reasoning Olympics]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 13.png|500x500px]]
|This header, similar to the previous one, promoted the How To book tour, which Randall would shortly be going on. The image is almost exactly the same as the previous one, with the only change being a link reading '[Click here for dates and tickets]'. While the reason for the change is not known, our best guess is that readers didn't realize that the image was a link, so Randall added this line for clarity.

The entire image, not just the blue text, is a link to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] officially announcing the book tour, with all the cities and dates which Randall would visit listed out.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190611031920/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-11] {{nowrap|(during [[2161: An Apple a Day]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190614094729/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-06-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2162: Literary Opinions]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 14.png|500x500px]]
|This header was the first to promote the [[How To]] book tour. It showed a map of the United States with dots representing the location of each city he would be visiting, with one dot outside the map indicating the city which would be chosen by readers. The list of cities is as follows:

*September 3rd
*[[How to]]
*{{w|Seattle}}
*{{w|Portland, Oregon|Portland}}
*{{w|San Francisco}}
*{{w|Santa Cruz, California|Santa Cruz}}
*{{w|Los Angeles}}
*{{w|Salt Lake City}}
*{{w|Kansas City metropolitan area|Kansas City}}
*{{w|Ann Arbor, Michigan|Ann Arbor}}
*{{w|Cincinnati}}
*{{w|Louisville, Kentucky|Louisville}}
*{{w|Cambridge, Massachusetts|Cambridge}}
*{{w|New York City|New York}}
*{{w|Washington, D.C.|D.C.}}
*{{w|Raleigh, North Carolina|Raleigh}}
*????? (Chosen by readers)

The entire image links to a [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/06/10/book-tour-announcement/ blag post] announcing the book tour and detailing the contest used to determine the reader-chosen city.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190206060904/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190422030324/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2139: Email Settings]])}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20190517103928/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190610055519/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2019-06-10] {{nowrap|(during [[2160: Ken Burns Theory]])}}
|[[File:How To Header 15.png|300x300px]]{{nowrap|{{Header text|{{{1|<big><big>HOW TO</big></big>

ABSURD SCIENTIFIC ANSWERS TO COMMON REAL-WORLD PROBLEMS

Available September 3, 2019.

Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/How-Absurd-Scientific-Real-World-Problems/dp/0525537090/ Amazon],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/2/trackingcode/PRH5522E62429 Barnes & Noble],[https://links.penguinrandomhouse.com/type/affiliate/isbn/9780525537090/siteID/8001/retailerid/6/trackingcode/penguinrandom IndieBound],[https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to/id1451461524?mt=11 Apple Books]}}}}}}}
|This complex header was the first to promote [[How To]]. It officially announced the book and provided links where a reader could preorder the book. It served two distinct stints, each lasting over a month, being interrupted by the promotion of the e-newsletter subscription promotion.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20190423155458/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[2140: Reinvent the Wheel]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190516100403/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-05-16] {{nowrap|(during [[2150: XKeyboarCD]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Still mourning the demise of Google Reader? 
You can sign up to get new comics delivered by email [https://xkcd.com/newsletter/ here].}}}}}
|This header interrupted the first header to promote How To in favor of promoting a subscription service which viewers could utilize as a way to be notified when a new comic was released. It mentions {{w|Google Reader}}, a popular RSS and Atom feed aggregator which had shut down on July 1st, 2013. He advertises the newsletter almost 6 years after the shutdown, using email.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20190205050302/https://xkcd.com/ 2019-02-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2107: Launch Risk]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|After a long period of sharing space with other headers during the ongoing 2018 Midterm Elections. After election day, the standard text came back, being the sole header for almost three months before Randall's announcement of [[How To]]. After the standard header text left, it wouldn't reappear for almost three years, the longest gap between standard texts at the time.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181106122850/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-06] {{nowrap|(during [[2068: Election Night]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181107144453/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2018-11-07] {{nowrap|(during [[2069: Wishlist]])}}
|[[File:Election Day Header but Better.png|500x500px]]
|This header text reminded xkcd readers to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. As these were highly contested, every vote counted. It gave a reminder about the fact that if the polls close while you're in line, the government must let you vote. It also provides links which give additional information about voting, where your local polling place is, and to see what was on the ballot.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181105105855/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-05] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Find out where to vote: [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].

See what's on your ballot: [https://www.ballotready.org/ BallotReady.org]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to the previous one, only adding a line below the first, taking you to a website which shows what would be on the reader's ballot before that year's election day on November 6th. It is part of a series of header texts related to the US 2018 Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20181022120935/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[2061: Tectonics Game]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20181103021059/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-11-02] {{nowrap|(during [[2067: Challengers]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Check your registration and find your polling place at [https://www.vote.org/ vote.org].}}}}}
|This header text reminded readers to register to vote in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. It links to vote.org, a website which allows the user to check their registrations and contains a map of polling places near your location.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard text. It returned for just a couple months, between a reminder for readers in New York to vote and for all readers to register for the main election day during the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20180913133544/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-13] {{nowrap|(during [[2045: Social Media Announcement]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20180914175605/https://xkcd.com/ 2018-09-14] {{nowrap|(during [[2046: Trum-]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|NY votes today! Find your polling place [https://voterlookup.elections.ny.gov/ here]. (Zephyr Teachout for AG!)}}}}}
|This short-lived header text reminded readers who lived in New York to vote on that day, as it was the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections. The text links to a New York government website which allows the viewer to see which polling place was the closest to them.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|The standard header text, this time returning for 10 months, from during December 2017 to September 2018. It stayed during the long break between Christmas and the day New York voted in the 2018 United States Midterm Elections.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20171126130857/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1920: Emoji Sports]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171130150053/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-11-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1922: Interferometry]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|To anyone looking for Christmas gifts: Until Monday you can get $5 off 
[https://www.amazon.com/What-International-Scientific-Hypothetical-Questions/dp/0544456866 What If?] and [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Thing Explainer] on Amazon with coupon code GIFTBOOK17.

At Barnes & Noble, until Sunday you can get 20% off 
[https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-if-serious-scientific-answers-to-absurd-hypothetical-questions-randall-munroe/1118864093 What If?] and [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432 Thing Explainer] using code GIVETHANKS.}}}}}
|This header text, like many others, only lasted a few days in between long stretches of standard headers. It promoted Christmas sales of [[What If?]] and [[Thing Explainer]], as well as providing a code to use on the Barnes & Noble page for the books.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170922232616/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-09-22]] {{nowrap|(during [[1893: Thread]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20171010045802/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1900: Jet Lag]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be visiting the UK next week! 
You can join me in London from September 30-October 2 
(at [https://live.newscientist.com/speakers/randall-munroe New Scientist Live], [https://www.rigb.org/whats-on/events-2017/october/public-lunchtime-talk--randall-munroe The Royal Institution], 
and [https://www.intelligencesquared.com/events/randall-munroe-on-making-complicated-stuff-simple/ Intelligence Squared]), then from October 3-6 in [https://www.stpetersyork.org.uk/public_lectures/randall_munroe_thing_explainer York], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/thing-explaining-with-randall-munroe-tickets-37832289396 Edinburgh], [https://www.toppingbooks.co.uk/events/ely/randall-murray-thing-explainer/ Cambridge and Ely], [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/randall-munroe-book-signing-thing-explainer-tickets-38041072873 Oxford], and [https://www.cheltenhamfestivals.com/literature/whats-on/2017/randall-munroe/ Cheltenham].}}}}}
|This header text was a promotion for public appearances around the UK between late September and early October. Each link goes to a site where you could purchase tickets to attend his appearances. Despite the fact that all of his appearances had already ended, the promotion continued until October 9th, when the header text returned back to standard.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|{{notice|<big><big>Look through the archives for specific dates</big></big>}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}}}}
|{{notice|MIND THE GAP, PROLLY NOT ACTUALLY STANDARD HEADER}}
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170731021227/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-31] {{nowrap|(during [[1869: Positive and Negative Reviews]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170804152509/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-08-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1872: Backup Batteries]])}}
|[[File:Healthcare Thanks.png]]
|This header thanked readers for their efforts to stop 'The Skinny Repeal', a bill which would have repealed the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare, in the Senate. In an unexpected twist, Republican senators John McCain, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski all voted against the bill, as well as all democrats, leading the 100-member senate to veto the bill 51-49. John McCain voted 'no' just days after a brain cancer diagnosis, leading two other Republicans to do the same, vetoing the bill.

This act had an especially large effect on Randall, as this was during his wife's Breast Cancer treatment. Had the act been passed, it is possible that they would have lost their Healthcare coverage, saddling them with very large amounts of debt which they may not have been able to pay off.

The entire image is a link, which takes you to a New York Times article showing the final results of the vote, as well as how members of each party voted.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170730141019/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2017-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]])}}
|[[File:Call the Senate.png]]
|This header came just days before a Senate vote on the 'skinny repeal' act, which would have repealed major parts of the Affordable Care Act, which would have left millions of people without healthcare coverage. He asks his readers to contact their senators and ask them to vote 'no' on the bill. He provides a phone number to call, as well as recommending readers to contact their friends in multiple Republican states, whose senators were likely to vote 'yes' on the bill, and ask them to call as well.

Randall may have been motivated to do this because, at the time, his wife was going through cancer treatment. Had this bill been passed, it is possible their healthcare coverage would have been lost, leading them to attain large amounts of debt, and possibly forcing Randall to cease making comics.

This header was up until the Senate ultimately vetoed the bill 51-49, leading Randall to change the header to a 'thank you'.
|style="background-color: #e875ff;" | Politics
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20170122003124/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725103104/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1867: Physics Confession]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This long-lasting header text promoted shirts and posters which could be found at the xkcd store at the time. It maintained the sales pitch of the previous header, only removing the image promoting the shirts.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128153015/https://xkcd.com 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1765: Baby Post]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20170121114423/https://xkcd.com/ 2017-01-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1788: Barge]])}}
|[[File:New shirts header.png|500x500px]]

{{Header text|{{{1|There are [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/featured four new shirts] in [https://store.xkcd.com/ the xkcd store],

along with [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/posters posters] and [https://store.xkcd.com/collections/everything lots of other stuff]!}}}}}
|This header promoted a Christmas sale on merchandise which was available in the xkcd store at the time. Despite the Christmas sale ending, the header remained until January 21st. The entire image was a link to the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423103108/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128093459/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1764: XKCDE]])}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header returned for a long stint between late April and late November of 2016.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404185353/https://www.xkcd.com/#5dbfbb82-fc20-11e5-8001-42010a8e000d 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1663: Garden]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160423182630/https://xkcd.com:80/1663/ 2016-04-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1671: Arcane Bullshit]])}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|'''Protip''': If you don't like how your garden is growing, you can click to prune it.}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|You can copy the URL to share your garden. From other browsers, it will be view-only.}}}}}
|This header text stayed throughout most of April. It gave tips for the [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], which came out with the release of this header. The header text stayed until April 23rd, at which point it became a [[xkcd_Header_text#Garden|Comic-Specific Header]].
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401204749/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160404054612/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|''First Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.

Please stand by!}}

''Second Version'':
{{Header text|The xkcd April 1st comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties.}}

{{Header text|Status update: Please stand by.}}
{{Header text|Status update: This is fine. Everything is fine.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Everything is on fire.}}
{{Header text|Status update: Searching for calendar systems in which Saturday is April 1st.}}

''Third Version'':
{{Header text|The Friday xkcd comic is currently experiencing technical difficulties}}

{{Header text|[Editor's note: Everything is on fire] and has been delayed until Sunday night.}}
|Randall is making the best of a bad situation. Just before the release of that year's [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]], it experienced technical difficulties forcing Randall to delay its release. The three headers changed in rapid succession while [[1662: Jack and Jill]] was still on the front page. Randall provides status updates on the comic, which quickly devolves into chaos before returning to a sense of false normalcy. This finalized header remained until the release of [[Garden]] on April 5th.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151213194534/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20160401125621/https://xkcd.com/ 2016-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1662: Jack and Jill]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Thing Explainer is available at:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header was the final header to promote Thing Explainer, which had been continuously promoted for over 10 months at that point. It provided links to places where the book could be purchased, just in time for the Christmas season.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151212133400/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1615: Red Car]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1| Thing Explainer is available at: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll be in [https://web.archive.org/web/20151211002159/https://www.andersonsbookshop.com/event/naperville-reads-randall-munroe Naperville, IL] and [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205205714/https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/indigo-exclusive-randall-munroe-tickets-18694384407 Toronto, ON] (with [https://qwantz.com/ Ryan North]!) next week.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. It gave links to order [[Thing Explainer]] (which makes sense. It was December, after all.), and also promoted public appearances he would be doing with Ryan North in Naperville, Illinois and Toronto, Ontario. This header continued the trend of promoting [[Thing Explainer]], which had been continually promoted since April.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151203234149/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151205070539/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-12-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1612: Colds]]}}
|[[File:TE images header.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text contained a large image showcasing images from [[Thing Explainer]], as well as multiple links for where to get the book. This image holds the odd record of being the largest image to ever be put into the header text (it is resized here for space). The image gets even weirder by being a link to [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0544668251/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0544668251&linkCode=as2&tag=thekcs-20&linkId=S4XRZJJKSMHOWEQU Thing Explainer on Amazon], even though a link to buy the book on amazon was also provided beneath the image. The image was only provided for two days, before being replaced by a promotion for his public appearances with Ryan North.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124201602/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1607: Supreme Court]]}} until 2015-12-02 {{nowrap|(during [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]}}
|''First Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Order: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

''Second Version'':

[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|I'm doing a [https://www.facebook.com/AndyWeirAuthor/ live Q&A;] at 2:30pm PT with The Martian author Andy Weir.}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. For most of the time it was on the front page, it solely promoted [[Thing Explainer]], and provided links where you could purchase it. However, it was shortly changed to advertise his public appearances with Andy Weir, with the link in that text taking you to his Facebook page. The image remained between the two texts, and it was a link to an [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ old Blag post] announcing Thing Explainer. However, the promotion of the public appearance only lasted one day, and as such is not important enough overall to be split into it's own section.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20151022200022/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151124065108/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2015-11-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1608: Hoverboard]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|We've [https://slate.com/technology/2015/08/no-new-polio-in-africa-for-one-year-gates-epidemiologist-on-vaccines-and-surveillance.html almost eradicated polio]. For World Polio Day, I drew a comic}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|about the eradication efforts. You can see it on [https://www.gatesnotes.com/Health/XKCD-Marks-the-Spot Bill Gates's blog].}}}}}
_________________________________________________________________
{{Header text|{{{1|My [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ new book] of complex diagrams and simple words comes out Nov 24th.}}}}}
|This header text promoted two things simultaneously, separated by a line. The top half of the header promoted a comic which Randall drew for Bill Gates' blog, celebrating the fact that {{w|Polio}} had almost been eradicated. The other header promoted [[Thing Explainer]], a book which had just released that year. The top half of the header linked to the blog post that Randall's Polio comic had appeared in, while the bottom half linked to a [[Blag]] post announcing Thing Explainer.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150923044724/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1580: Travel Ghost]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20151021164208/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-10-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1593: Play-By-Play]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|News: Announcing my Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/im-going-on-a-book-trip/ book trip]. Come say hi!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|Other news: Announcing the Thing Explainer [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/09/22/a-thing-explainer-word-checker/ word checker] tool!}}}}}
|This simplistic header promoted two things related to [[Thing Explainer]], which had released earlier that year. It promoted the Thing Explainer book tour and a tool which can help you "Write Like Up Goer Five and Thing Explainer", also known as [https://xkcd.com/simplewriter/ Simple Writer].
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150906181550/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1573: Cyberintelligence]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150919220105/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1579: Tech Loops]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thing-Explainer-Randall-Munroe/dp/1473620910 Amazon.co.uk], [https://www.waterstones.com/book/thing-explainer/9781473620919 Waterstones]}}}}}
|This header was very similar to previous headers promoting [[Thing Explainer]]. The only change which occurred between the last header and this header was the addition of a line of text containing links, where you could preorder the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150606084120/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-06-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150807181044/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1561: Water Phase Diagram]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}

{{Header text|{{{1|In other news, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing] is delightful, 
and I feel surprisingly invested in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket's] results.}}}}}
|This header text contained two sections, each talking about separate things. The upper portion of the header maintained the same promotion of [[Thing Explainer]] from the previous header, but added a couple new lines of text outlining 'other news' in his life. The first link goes to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrdAvmr-MA Space Weird Thing], a music video parody of {{w|David Bowie|David Bowie's}} [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo Space Oddity] music video using only the 1,000 most common words, inspired by [[1133: Up Goer Five]]. Along with this, there was another link which went to [https://web.archive.org/web/20150720074919/https://twitter.com/xkcdbracket @xkcdbracket] on Twitter. This was a large bracket inspired by [[1529: Bracket]], in which a Twitter user simulated a full bracket with each entry from the comic. After this, it returned to simply promoting the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150515060322/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150605082643/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-06-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1534: Beer]]}}
|[[File:TE out today.png]]
{{Header text|{{{1|Preorder: [https://www.amazon.com/Thing-Explainer-Complicated-Stuff-Simple/dp/0544668251 Amazon], [https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thing-explainer-randall-munroe/1121864432?ean=9780544668256#/ Barnes & Noble], [https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780544668256 Indie Bound], [https://www.hudsonbooksellers.com/thingexplainer Hudson]}}}}}
|This header text, like the one that came before it, promoted the fact that preorders were open for [[Thing Explainer]], which had been announced with the previous header. The image linked to a [[Blag]] post titled ''[https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ New book: Thing Explainer]''. This header remained for just under a month before other news was added.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150514053623/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2015-05-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1524: Dimensions]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New book: [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/05/13/new-book-thing-explainer/ Thing Explainer!]}}}}}
|This header text announced [[Thing Explainer]], a book which uses only the 1,000 most common English words at the time to explain complicated things such as the {{w|Curiosity (rover)|Curiosity Rover}} and {{w|Washing machine|Washing machines}}. When the next comic released, the header text turned to promoting the book, including providing links where you could preorder it.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150211154103/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1485: Friendship]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150512184622/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1523: Microdrones]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|The standard header text returned for about three months, between his promotion of xkcd-themed {{w|Valentine's Day}} cards and the announcement of [[Thing Explainer]]
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150204051152/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1482: NowPlaying]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150210005540/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1484: Apollo Speeches]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]
|This header was the last of the headers to promote {{w|Valentine's Day}} that year. It promoted the Valentine's Day cards which Randall had collaborated with other webcomic artists to create, and were first announced the month before. The promotion lasted until February 10th, at which point it was nearly impossible to ship cards out to customers by Valentine's Day.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150203022036/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1481: API]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|Today is the last day to order the limited-run [https://web.archive.org/web/20150202092804/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart binary heart shirt]!}}}}}
|This header solely promoted the binary heart shirt, which was in the xkcd store at the time, just before that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. The header remained up until the day after the shirts were no longer available to order.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150129183442/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150201015913/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1480: Super Bowl]]}}
|[[File:Valentine Cards.png]]{{nowrap|[[File:Binary shirt.png]]}}
|This header promoted both special store products that Randall had created for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. He had partnered with other artists to create custom Valentine Cards, and had created a shirt which contained a heart made out of binary. This header lasted for only a few days until the header changed to promoting the last day you could order the shirts. The image promoting the shirt was a link to a https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart page] where you could purchase it.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150128172147/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1479: Troubleshooting]]}}
|{{Header text|I've teamed up with three other webcomic artists}}
{{Header text|{{{1|to make [https://web.archive.org/web/20150127161237/https://store.xkcd.com/products/webcomic-science-valentines a set of science-themed Valentine's Day cards]!}}}}}
|This short-lived header announced the fact that [[Randall]] had collaborated with 'other webcomic artists' to create Valentine's cards which could be purchased in the shop at the time. The link in the text took you to the card's page on the xkcd store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150124110707/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1477: Star Wars]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150126133139/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1478: P-Values]]}}
|{{Header text|For Valentine's Day, you can get a binary heart shirt}}
{{Header text|{{{1|(from {{xkcd|99|comic #99!}}) in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150125080756/https://teespring.com/xkcdbinaryheart a limited run on TeeSpring]}}}}}
|This header text was the first of many headers to promote the binary heart shirt which Randall released for that year's {{w|Valentine's Day}}. Instead of being on the xkcd store like one may assume, he actually used {{w|Teespring}}, a company that allows users to create and sell custom products, as the sales platform.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141222233233/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1463: Altitude]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20150123102318/https://xkcd.com/ 2015-01-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1476: Ceres]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get xkcd shirts, prints, and posters in the [https://shop.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header, like many others at the time, promoted the xkcd store, which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise. The link in the text was a link to the store.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141217085320/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until 2014-12-18 {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20141219092349/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141221172450/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1462: Blind Trials]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header.png]]
|This header served two distinct stints as a header, in between an Easter egg header that Randall had released in between them.

This header consisted of just one image, promoting the xkcd store while also reminding readers that that Friday was the last day things could be shipped by the 25th. The entire image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], not just the blue text in the image.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141218090650/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[1461: Payloads]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Deadline Header 2.png]]
|This header was a more humorous version of the header which it both preceded and succeeded, possibly meant as an {{w|Easter egg (media)|Easter Egg}} for those who happened to visit the site at the time when it was up. It lasted only for a few hours, meaning that not many actually got to see it while it was up. It reminded the reader that, if they wished to get Christmas presents from the xkcd store, they needed to order them by that Friday in order for them to be shipped in time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141203132024/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-12-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1455: Trolley Problem]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141216084107/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1460: SMFW]]}}
|[[File:Christmas Store Header.png]]
|This header promoted the store during the Christmas season, with a touch of humor added in. The bobcat is a reference to [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]. The image was a link to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141129211604/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-29] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141202065133/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1454: Done]]}}
|{{Header text|Thank you for helping my friend Emily.}}
{{Header text|It means so much.}}
|Just two days after Randall posted a header text to raise money for Emily's cancer treatment, the goal was met and this header replaced the previous one for three days. This means that the thanks for meeting the goal was up for more time than the header notifying readers of the goal itself.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141127005239/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1452: Jurassic World]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128070838/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-11-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1453: fMRI]]}}
|{{Header text|Hey all. My friend Emily—the economist who helped}}
{{Header text|me with my {{xkcd|980|money chart}}—has been fighting cancer. She's}}
{{Header text|{{{1|having a rough time and could use some [https://web.archive.org/web/20141128183414/https://www.gofundme.com/e07dqk help]. Thank you.}}}}}
|This header text was meant to raise money in order to help [[Randall]]'s friend Emily fight cancer. The text linked to a GoFundMe page for Emily. Oddly, Emily did not get a permanent header as Becky did on the [[#Seven_Years|Seven Years]] comic.
|style="background-color: #7869ff" | Fundraiser
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20141002211139/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1428: Move Fast and Break Things]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141125234520/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Bestseller.png]]
|This header consisted of an image promoting the fact that What If? Had become a New York Times bestseller, while also promoting the book at the same time. The header remained up for over a month, only being interrupted by Emily's cancer diagnosis. The image was a link to the book's dedicated page on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140904150600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-04] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20141001130827/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1451: Background Screens]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out now.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that What If?, which had released the day before this header came out, was available to order. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140902125802/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140903134518/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1416: Pixels]]}}
|[[File:What If? Out Today.png]]
|This header kept the trend of simple images promoting What If?, with this one promoting the fact that the book was released that day. As this promoted only the release day, it was replaced by a more general promotion the day after. The entire image was a link to the book's [https://whatif.xkcd.com/book/ dedicated page] on xkcd.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140723180600/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1398: Snake Facts]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140901113916/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-09-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1415: Ballooning]]}}
|[[File:What If? Book Tour.png]]
|This header text promoted the fact that Randall was going on a book tour for What If?, which was released that September. The image, like many others promoting the book, was a simple depiction of a celebrating Cueball with text to its right. The text in the image promoted the book, and asked the viewer to click on an apparent link in order to see a list of stops for the tour. However, by Randall's own admission, the entire image (not just the apparent link) was a link, as he had not figured out HTML imagemaps. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/07/22/what-if-book-tour/ a Blag post] announcing the book tour and outlining a list of stops.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140313070951/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1341: Types of Editors]]} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140722142115/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-07-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1397: Luke]]}}
|[[File:What If? Announcement.png]]
|This header text was the first of many to promote What If?. This first one announced the fact that Randall was publishing a book cataloging entries from his What If? blog, which had been running continuously for multiple years at that point. The image was a link to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/03/12/what-if-i-wrote-a-book/ a Blag post] announcing the book.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140109190927/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140312070248/https://xkcd.com/ 2014-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1340: Unique Date]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131221043417/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1306: Sigil Cycle]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20140108181520/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2014-01-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1314: Photos]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The deadline for guaranteed Christmas shipping has passed, 
but if you order something from the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], we'll get it to you as fast as possible!}}}}}
|This header text came out just four days before Christmas, when Randall would be unable to ship items ordered from the xkcd store by Christmas. He also reminds readers that they'd ship ASAP, but they wouldn't arrive by the 25th.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131220005306/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1305: Undocumented Feature]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|For a couple weeks during early December of 2013, no header came to replace the previous Exoplanet Poster header. It is possible that there was an error with the intended header text, or that Randall simply forgot to put in a new one. This stopped when the xkcd store Christmas shipping deadline passed, and the header changed to let readers know of this fact.
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1298: Exoplanet Neighborhood]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131206213503/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-12-06] {{nowrap|(during [[1300: Galilean Moons]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Exoplanet Neighborhood comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20131202205326/http://store.xkcd.com/products/exoplanet-neighborhood-poster poster]!}}}}}
|Just after [[Exoplanet Neighborhoods]] came out, Randall updated the header to mention that you could get the comic as a poster in the store. This header lasted only four days, until the header turned empty.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130409170502/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20131201184250/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1297: Oort Cloud]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|You can get the Subways comic as a [https://web.archive.org/web/20130411022318/http://store-xkcd-com.myshopify.com/products/subways poster]!}}}}}
|This header, which lasted for almost exactly 100 Comics, promoted the fact that you could get [[1196: Subways]] as a poster in the xkcd store. The promotion lasted until early December, when it was replaced with a different store promotion for another comic, oddly promoting a comic poster as well.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126235628/https://xkcd.com/1138/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]])}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130311073948/https://xkcd.com:80/1183/ 2013-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1183: Rose Petals]]}}, from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130320082716/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[1188: Bonding]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130401112845/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]]}}, and from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403180307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1194: Stratigraphic Record]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130408184914/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1196: Subways]]}}
|[[File:xkcd Store Paper Rip.png]]
|This header holds a record for the most distinct times it appeared as the header text, appearing three separate times. The content of the header was an image showing a torn piece of paper, with the tear revealing the words 'xkcd store' below it. Clicking on the image while it was up took you to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which featured various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20130402122924/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-04-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1193: Externalities]])}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|There were some surprise upsets in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20130402131103/http://almamater.xkcd.com/ Hash Breaking]!}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|KIT [https://web.archive.org/web/20130403114751/http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv leads] (389 bits wrong), followed by Columbia (391 bits wrong).}}}}}
|This header documented the challenge given to multiple prestigious colleges in [[1193: Externalities]]. Randall had created a challenge in which multiple Alma Maters were tasked to break a 1024-bit {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} in the shortest time possible, with the college that had the least bits wrong at the end of the challenge winning. This header gave an update, stating that KIT (an Indian engineering college) in first place, with Colombia in second. He provided a link to the xkcd page where the results were being documented in real time. In the end, Carnegie Mellon University won, with 384 bits wrong of 1024.
|
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130315162227/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-15] {{nowrap|(during [[1186: Bumblebees]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130318072820/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1187: Aspect Ratio]]}}
|''(no header text)''
|After the previous header letting people know that [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]] was delayed, no header came to replace it for 3 days. This is one of only three times this has happened in xkcd's history
|style="background-color: #fffff1;" |No Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313133631/https://xkcd.com/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1184: Circumference Formula]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20130313175306/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|The comic will be delayed until late morning EDT.}}}}}
|This simple header, which was up for less than a day, let readers know that the next comic ([[1185: Ineffective Sorts]]) was temporarily delayed. The delayed comic was quickly released and the header was replaced, oddly, with nothing.
|style="background-color: #a4f095;" | Comic Delay
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121024082017/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-24] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121126035129/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1138: Heatmap]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121017232102/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1122: Electoral Precedent]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121023023404/https://xkcd.com/1121/ 2012-10-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1124: Law of Drama]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/ What if lightning struck while you were ...]}}}}}
|This header was the last header to promote the release of a specific entry to the What If? blog. This entry acted like a short-answer section, but only for lightning-related questions. This promotion lasted for only a few days before it was replaced with the standard header. The link in the article took you to the blog entry.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121010003837/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121016055538/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-10-16] {{nowrap|(during [[1121: Identity]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/15/ What if you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?].
|This header promoted a new release of the What If? Blog, this being Mariana Trench Explosion. The question in this entry was "What If you set off a nuclear bomb in the Mariana Trench?". The promotion lasted about a week before the next entry in the blog came out.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20121002231724/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121008112434/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1118: Microsoft]]}}
|{{Header text|In this week's What-If article I [https://what-if.xkcd.com/14/ answer multiple reader questions].}}}}}
|This header text promotes the first short-answer entry of the What If? blog. It was up for a week, while it was the most recent blog entry. After that, it was replaced by a promotion for the next blog entry
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120926163111/https://xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1113: Killed in Action]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20121001080517/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-10-01] {{nowrap|(during [[1115: Sky]]}}
|{{Header text|New What-If article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/ If everyone aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at once, would it change color?]}}}}}
|This header text, like many others around this time, promoted the latest entry to the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120918143653/https://www.xkcd.com/1108/ 2012-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120925090123/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1112: Think Logically]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|what-if.xkcd.com: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/ What if all of a storm's water fell in a single raindrop?].}}}}}
|This header promoted the latest entry into the What If? blog, this one being {{what if|12|Raindrop}}. It stayed up until the next blog entry was released.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1106: ADD]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120917052827/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1109: Refrigerator]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120911150641/http://what-if.xkcd.com/11/ Droppings]}}}}}
|This time, the header text promoted the new What If? blog entry, this time titled {{what if|11|Droppings}}. This header lasted until the next entry, {{what if|12|Raindrop}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120910011937/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-09-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1105: License Plate]]}}
|{{Header text|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120905024720/http://what-if.xkcd.com/10/ What if we slid the Earth's surface around by 90 degrees?]}}}}}
|This header was part of a long series of headers at the time, coming out each week with each new What If? blog entry. This one promoted {{what if|10|Cassini}}.
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1101: Sketchiness]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120903051700/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1103: Nine]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New what-if.xkcd.com article:}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120830024447/http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/ What if everyone had a randomly-chosen soul mate?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers promoting new entries to the What If? blog every week. For this week, it promoted {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}
|style="background-color: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-22] {{nowrap|(during [[1098: Star Ratings]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120828050938/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1100: Vows]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New What-If article: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ What if everyone got together and jumped]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120822133458/http://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ at the same time, but then realized nobody brought food?]}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-17] {{nowrap|(during [[1096: Clinically Studied Ingredient]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120821113022/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-21] {{nowrap|(during [[1097: A Hypochondriac's Nightmare]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|This week: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120817085903/http://what-if.xkcd.com/7/ Is there enough energy to move all of humanity off-planet]?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. This week, the header promoted {{what if|7|Everybody Out}}. This header, however, is unique from the others promoting the blog, as this is the last header to promote the website directly.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120809045754/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1092: Michael Phelps]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120814083615/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1094: Interview]]}}
|[[File:What If? Glass header.png]]
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, for most of the week {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}} was out, Randall used an image to promote the new entry rather than the traditional text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use this format.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-08-07] {{nowrap|(during [[1091: Curiosity]]}} 
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120807142938/http://what-if.xkcd.com/6/ This week]: What if a glass were actually half-empty?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. However, this header is unique, as it only appeared for a single day before Randall replaced it with an image promoting the same article. This header text promoted {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2013-08-02] {{nowrap|(during [[1089: Internal Monologue]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120805074212/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1090: Formal Languages]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120802104809/http://what-if.xkcd.com/5/ This week]: How long would humans last in a robot apocalypse?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-25] {{nowrap|(during [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120730122025/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[1088: Five Years]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20120725085933/http://what-if.xkcd.com/4/ This week]: What if you had a mole (unit) of moles (animals)?}}}}}
|This header text was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. For this week, the header promoted {{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}, the fourth What If? blog entry.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120718231719/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2013-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[1083: Writing Styles]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120723224537/http://xkcd.com/ 2013-07-23] {{nowrap|(during [[1085: ContextBot]]}}
|[[File:Yoda What If header.png]]
|This header was part of a series of headers which came out every week, each promoting the latest entry into the What If? blog. During the week where {{what if|3|Yoda}} was the most recent post, Randall decided to promote the new entry via an image rather than the typical text. This is one of only two headers promoting the blog to use an image rather than text.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120710114846/https://xkcd.com/1078/ 2012-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120714062857/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-07-14] {{nowrap|(during [[1081: Argument Victory]]}}
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New site: what-if.xkcd.com, where I abuse science to answer hypothetical questions. 
I'll answer a new question every Tuesday.}}}}} 
''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|New: [https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/ what-if.xkcd.com]: abusing science to answer hypothetical questions.}}}}}
{{Header text|{{{1|I'll answer a new reader question every Tuesday.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each promoting the new What If? blog at [https://what-if.xkcd.com/ what-if.xkcd.com]. 
The first version was only up for a day, and, oddly, appeared on each comic except for the front page. The website given in the text wasn't a link, which is presumably why Randall quickly changed the header into the second version. 
The second version of the text was the main version, and was up for a few days. This header does not have many changes from the previous header, only adding the link where the website was and separating the text into two lines. The website now linked to the first ever What If? blog entry, {{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}. For a time, this text also did not appear on the front page as it came out during [[1079: United Shapes]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#United_Shapes|unique header text]]. Later, this text was incorporated into this comic's text, but it was never changed back. This means, if you {{xkcd|1079|go to the comic today}}, it still contains the second version of this header.
|style="background: #c97fa9;" |What If? Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120409190952/https://xkcd.com/1026/ 2012-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1040: Lakes and Oceans]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120709004956/https://www.xkcd.com/ 2012-07-09] {{nowrap|(during [[1078: Knights]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
{{Header text|{{{1|You can get prints, posters, and t-shirts in the [https://store.xkcd.com/ store].}}}}}
|This simple header text combined the standard header text and the standard store promotion in one header. The link in the bottom row went to to the [https://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store], which contained various xkcd-themed merchandise.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120405195956/https://www.xkcd.com/1021/ 2012-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[1038: Fountain]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120408200414/https://xkcd.com:80/ 2012-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[1039: RuBisCO]]}}
|{{:Header text}}
|A return to the standard header text, if only for a few days before the store promotion was added.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120328103319/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1035: Cadbury Eggs]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120403164523/https://xkcd.com:80/1036/ 2012-04-03] {{nowrap|(during [[1036: Reviews]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|I'm [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ visiting] Newport News, VA next week, where I'll be speaking at CNU, my old school. 
If you want to come, reserve a seat [https://web.archive.org/web/20120329214411/https://www.cnu.edu/pcs/xkcd/index.asp here]!}}}}}
|This promotion linked to a trip Randall was doing to {{w|Newport News, Virginia}}, where he would be giving a talk at his old school, {{w|Christopher Newport University}}. The first link in the text went to a [[Blag]] [https://blog.xkcd.com/2012/03/22/im-visiting-cnu-on-april-4th/ post] announcing his trip, while the second link took you to a website where you could purchase tickets (the link here goes to an archived version, as the link is no longer working).
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20120312185125/https://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-12] {{nowrap|(during [[1028: Communication]]}} until [https://web.archive.org/web/20120326180811/https://xkcd.com// 2012-03-26] {{nowrap|(during [[1033: Formal Logic]]}}
|{{Header text|{{[1|New: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120318153220/https://holistic.xkcd.com/ holistic.xkcd.com], the least useful web navigation tool ever.}}}}}
|This header text promoted a web navigation tool which Randall had developed, called the xkcd Holistic Browser. As the name implies, when you typed a web address, you would instead be taken to a web address someone else had entered. For a time, this header text overlapped with [[1031: s/keyboard/leopard/]], which has its own [[xkcd_Header_text#Unique_header_text|unique header text]].
|Other promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20120228183748/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-28] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120311135259/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[1027: Pickup Artist]]}}
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
Blag: Remember geohashing? [http://blog.xkcd.com/2012/02/27/geohashing-2/ Something pretty cool] happened Sunday.}}}}}
|This header text references geohashing, an activity which originated from [[426: Geohashing|another comic]] which Randall had published a few years earlier. Geohashing is an activity where an algorithm picks a pseudo-random point within a certain graticule each day. The people who partake in this activity (known as 'geohashers' or 'hashers') can then go to this spot, take a picture, and upload it to the [geohashing.site Geohashing wiki].

The blog post in the header text outlines a story relating to the globalhash, an extra challenge for geohashers in which just one point is chosen around the world. One day, the globalhash was within a mile of the south pole, and a geohasher reached out to personnel at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}}. Personnel at the station completed the challenge and uploaded a photo to the wiki, completing the achievement.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111219230017/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-12-19] {{nowrap|(during [[992: Mnemonics]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[1022: So It Has Come To This]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|The standard header text returns once again, this time taking the place of the previous after the store was unable to ship things out in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[982: Set Theory]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[991: Phantom Menace]]}}
|[[File:2011 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{{1|shipping for Christmas}}}}}
|This header text utilized a small banner to notify readers that the xkcd store, at that point, could ship items out in time for christmas. Nothing more to say about this one.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20111126194650/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-11-26] {{nowrap|(during [[930: Days of the Week]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20120227161127/http://xkcd.com/ 2012-02-27] {{nowrap|(during [[981: Porn Folder]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110702224031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-02] {{nowrap|(during [[919: Tween Bromance]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110718225031/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-07-18] {{nowrap|(during [[926: Time Vulture]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blog post:}}}}}{{nowrap|{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ Family Illness]}}}}}}}
|This header text promoted a blag post which is much more somber than most. It tells readers the context behind recent cancer-related comics. At this time, Megan, his then-fianceé (and now wife), was diagnosed with Stage III {{w|Breast cancer|Breast Cancer}}, which is extremely rare at her age of diagnosis. Obviously, the treatment and support of his fianceé took up much of his life, and he wanted to let his readers know of the ongoing situation. Despite the late diagnosis, Megan has since made a full recovery.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110520004343/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-20] {{nowrap|(during [[900: Religions]]}} until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110629072556/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-06-29] {{nowrap|(during [[918: Google+]]}}
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text. Not really sure what to say here.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110512173901/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-12] {{nowrap|(during [[897: Elevator Inspection]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110517072118/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-17] {{nowrap|(during [[899: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header link|{{{1|[http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/05/08/michael-bays-scenario/ New blag post]}}}}}{{Header text|!}}
|This header text is a compilation of the standard header text and an advertisement for a new blag post, this one being 'Michael Bay's Scenario'. This blog post shows Randall's characteristic geekiness, detailing the basis for one of the panels in [[748: Wo, rst-Case Scenario|an earlier comic]], being the pattern for how dams are operated when the {{w|Mississippi River}} floods.
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110418155618/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-18] {{nowrap|(during [[887: Future Timeline]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110508055056/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-05-08] {{nowrap|(during [[898: Number Line]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110405105448/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-05] {{nowrap|(during [[881: Probability]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Miss XK3D? It's still up at [xk3d.xkcd.com xk3d.xkcd.com]. 
(UNIXKCD, last year's April 1st redesign, is at [uni.xkcd.com uni.xkcd.com].)}}}}}
|This header text let readers know that there was still a way to access the April Fool's xkcd redesign for that year. In 2011, the redesign used a computer program to create a 3d effect on all comics up to [[880: Headache]]. It also reminded readers of the previous year's April Fools' redesign, that being [[Unixkcd]], which gave xkcd.com an interface similar to a terminal. The upper link no longer works, and has been replaced by [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com].
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110401181154/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-01] {{nowrap|(during [[880: Headache]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110415092035/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-04-15] {{nowrap|(during [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD is now 3D! See [http://xkcd.com/xk3d/ here] for details! 
If 3D is too much for you, consider investing in a pair of [http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/looflirpa/e8be/ these]!}}}}}
|This header text was unique to the 2011 April Fools' xkcd.com redesign. For 2011, the regesign used a computer program to convert every xkcd comic up until [[880: Headache]] to a 3d view by separating the comics into different layers. The upper link is completely broken and no longer exists. To see the xk3d interface, go to [3d.xkcd.com 3d.xkcd.com]. The lower link in the header text no longer works, instead taking you to a GameStop page dedicated to action figures and other collectibles.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110320063005/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-20] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110331041143/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-31] {{nowrap|(during [[879: Lamp]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|New blag post: a [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/03/19/radiation-chart/ chart] comparing levels of radiation exposure.}}}}}
|{{notice|summarize the blag post here}}
|style="background-color: #ffffa1;" |Blag Post
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110202074533/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[855: 1999]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110318203241/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-03-18] {{nowrap|(during [[874: Time Management]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: There's a new full-text comic search box a bit down the page.}}}}}
|This header text served as a set of two 'pro tips' which Randall is providing for the readers, the second header straight to do so. While the first is the same as the previous header, the second is different. It correctly states that there is a search box in a lower section of the page, which most people would not see as it is not viewable unless you scroll down, which most won't do as they are just viewing the comic.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20110122183142/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-22] {{nowrap|(during [[850: World According to Americans]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110201050436/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-02-01] {{nowrap|(during [[854: Learning to Cook]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. 
Protip: Scripts can [http://xkcd.com/json.html fetch comics and metadata automatically].}}}}}
|This header text provides 'pro tips', or pieces of advice ('tips') coming from somebody more experienced with a certain subject ('pros'). In this case, the person more experienced with xkcd is Randall, the creator of the site, so it's questionable as to whether these would actually be 'pro tips'. The upper tip lets readers know about m.xkcd.com, a version of the site designed for mobile devices. Currently, it's used for older web browsers, and less so for mobile devices as technology and Randall's coding has evolved. The other tip allows readers to use a computer script to automatically fetch comics and the metadata (the technical information about each comic, such as the author and its resolution) for said comics.
|style="background-color: #00c997" | Additional Information
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101221074545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-21] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20110120082139/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-20] {{nowrap|(during [[849: Complex Conjugate]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101210182242/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-10] {{nowrap|(during [[832: Tic-Tac-Toe]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101220074448/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-20] {{nowrap|(during [[836: Sickness]]}})
|[[File:2010 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store is now shipping for Christmas.}}
|This header text was a reminder for readers that the xkcd store could ship items in time for christmas. At the time, he was selling signed prints of many different comics, so it was important for readers to have this knowledge.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101202013145/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitudes]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101207103208/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-07] {{nowrap|(during [[831: Genetic Analysis]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can order the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text combined the regular, standard header text with a promotion for an item in the xkcd store. It was very similar to the previous, with the only difference being that instead of only being able to preorder the item, the item could be directly ordered. The item in question was a poster depicting [[802: Online Communities 2]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20101015082807/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-15] {{nowrap|(during [[806: Tech Support]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101201003913/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-12-01] {{nowrap|(during [[828: Positive Attitude]]}})
|''First version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There's a poster of the [https://xkcd.com/802/ updated communities map] for preorder in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}

''Second version:'' 
{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
You can preorder the [https://xkcd.com/802/ new communities map] poster [http://store.xkcd.com/ here].}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, each having the exact same meaning but differing levels of conciseness. It let readers know that they could preorder a poster which depicted [[802: Online Communities 2]], a large comic which depicted the size of various online communities as a fantasy map. This header text debuted in October until early December, when it released just in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100717133907/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-17] {{nowrap|(during [[767: Temper]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20101012070848/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-10-12] {{nowrap|(during [[804: Pumpkin Carving]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are t-shirts, prints, posters, and other items in the [https://store.xkcd.com store]!}}}}}
|This was a very standard, copy-and-paste store promotion.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[760: Moria]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[765: One Two]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}
|A return to the standard header text. This header was the last time that there was a prolonged gap in the archives, necessitating the 'c.' in the date field.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100630231626/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-06-30] {{nowrap|(during [[740: The Tell-Tale Beat]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100710152236/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-07-10] {{nowrap|(during [[756: Public Opinion]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday 
There is a [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#FlyingFerretTankTop tank top] in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple one, letting readers know that the xkcd store now contained a {{w|Sleeveless shirt|tank top}} (a shirt which does not contain sleeves) depicting the flying ferret from [[20: Ferret]].
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100506032819/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-05-06] (during [[736: Cemetery]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
{{Header text|{{{1|The {{Header link|[http://blag.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ color survey results]}} are up!}}}}}
|This header text references the color survey, which was also mentioned the previous month in a different header. The color survey was an online survey in which users were presented with a completely random color and asked to give it a name, in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive color and language.
|Other promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20100427162424/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-27] (during [[732: HDTV]])
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100408053329/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-08] {{nowrap|(during [[724: Hell]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[725: Literally]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|If you liked the unixkcd interface, you can keep using it [xkcd.com/unixkcd here]! 
My [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ survey of color names] is almost done! Want to help?}}}}}
|This was a very simple header, alerting readers to the fact that, if they enjoyed [[Unixkcd]], that year's April Fools' Day redesign, it could still be accessed. While the website in the text no longer works, it can be accessed at uni.xkcd.com. It also mentions Randall's 'survey of color names', which is a survey that Randall conducted where responders were given a completely random color and asked to name it, hoping to provide some insight into how people perceive color.
|style="background-color: #8c4271;" |April Fools' Redesign
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20100304093951/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-03-04] {{nowrap|(during [[709: I am]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100410004545/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-04-10] {{nowrap|(during [[719: Brain Worms]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|There are [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints new prints] and [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#SignedPrints posters][http://store.xkcd.com/ store]. 
I'm doing a [http://aram.xkcd.com/color/ Color name survey]. Want to help?}}}}}
|This header text served two purposes. The top line was a very simple copy-paste advertisement for the Store, advertising signed prints of comics. Oddly, the links behind 'new prints' and 'posters' are exactly the same and would have taken you to the same place regardless of which one you clicked. The second line was an advertisement for the xkcd color name survey, where respondents were given a random color and asked to name it in an attempt to better understand how different people perceive colors and language.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100102003314/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-01-02] {{nowrap|(during [[683: Science Montage]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20100215231756/http://xkcd.com/ 2010-02-15] {{nowrap|(during [[702: Snow Tracking]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday}}}}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091202010210/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[669: Experiment]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091225151809/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-12-25] {{nowrap|(during [[680: December 25th]]}})
|[[File:2009 Christmas Store Banner.png]] 
{{Header text|The xkcd store - now shipping for Christmas delivery}}
|This simple header text served the purpose of alerting readers to the fact that the xkcd store could ship in time for Christmas, if anybody wanted to buy an xkcd-themed gift for somebody. However, the last time this text was archived was on Christmas Day, far after the store could have shipped anything in time for Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20091027132448/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-25] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20091115070508/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-11-15] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]!
|This was the final header text to promote [[xkcd: volume 0]], a compilation of some of the best xkcd comics up to that point, along with footnotes and <s>a mysterious cipher</s> other additions. This header text served two distinct stints, as it was interrupted for just a few hours on October 27th by xkcd's GeoCities memorial.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|[http://web.archive.org/web/20091027014324/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-10-27] (during [[654: Nachos]])
|GeoCities is shutting down today. To commemorate this, xkcd.com has been redesigned.">{{nowrap|[[File:Broken File Icon.png|25x25px]]}}
|For just a few hours on October 27th, 2009, xkcd was redesigned to be a chaotic mess in memory of {{w|GeoCities}}, replicating a stereotypical GeoCities site. GeoCities was a free web hosting service which, due to the very low barrier of entry, was known for children and teens hosting their own sites which looked similar to the redesign. This resulted in many pieces of broken code, which is replicated in the header text. Please note that the text had effects on it which cannot be replicated here, such as the image being in place of a superscript and the text containing a marquee effect.
|???
|-
|From c. [http://web.archive.org/web/20090918105905/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-18] {{nowrap|(during [[641: Free]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090923040934/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-23] {{nowrap|(during [[662: iPhone or Droid]]}})
|’’’First Version:’’’ 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in New York and the Bay Area.}}}}}

’’’Second Version:''' 
{{Header text|{{{1|The first [http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?book#xkcdvolume0 xkcd book] is now available in the [http://store.xkcd.com/ store]! 
I'll be at [http://breadpig.com/blog/2009/09/08/xkcd-book-tour-announced/ release events] this weekend in the Bay Area.}}}}}
|This header text came in two versions, which are compiled here because the second came right after the first and told you the exact same thing. The first version let you know that [[xkcd: volume 0]], the first-ever xkcd book, had been released and could be purchased in the store when it was online. It also told you about the small book tour that Randall would be doing, with stops in New York City and the San Francisco Bay area. This version was last archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090921130537/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-21]. The second version was exactly the same, except for the fact that Randall had apparently already gone to NYC, and was now presumably on his way to the Bay Area for that stop.
|style="background-color: #ff997d;" |Book promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090903095219/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-09-03] {{nowrap|(during [[631: Anatomy Text]]}})
|{{Header text|Ever wanted {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/?tie#xkcdtie an xkcd tie]}}?}}
|This was a very simple store promotion, stating that you could now get an xkcd-themed necktie from the store. It depicted various characters doing actions they did in previous comics they were featured in. An image of the tie is included below.

[[File:xkcd tie.jpg|150x150px]]
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [http://web.archive.org/web/20090801182533/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2009-08-01 {{nowrap|(during [[617: Understocked]]}})
|{{Header text|I'll be at {{Header link|[http://connecticon.org/ Connecticon]}} this weekend. 
If you're in the area, come say hi!}}
|This simple header promoted the fact that Randall was planning on travelling to Connecticon. Connecticon is an annual fan convention which dabbles in "all things Pop-culture", and it regularly hosts celebrity guests and panels. It's named such because, since its founding, it has been based in Hartford, Connecticut. Randall was one of many webcomic-creating guests who were invited, but it seems he was attending as a guest and nothing more.
|style="background-color: #828282;" |Public Appearance
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-17] {{nowrap|(during [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090730084817/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-07-30] {{nowrap|(during [[616: Lease]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
There are signed prints in the {{Header link|[http://web.archive.org/web/20090317062350if_/http://xkcd.com:80/store/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header, being a simple combination of the standard header text and a copy-pasted store promotion. The 'signed prints' that Randall is referring to are printed-out versions of comics which were hand-signed by Randall and could be purchased in the store before it shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [http://web.archive.org/web/20090313220423/http://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-13] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}}) until [http://web.archive.org/web/20090314231453/xkcd.com/ 2009-03-14] {{nowrap|(during [[555: Two Mirrors]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20081218103735/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-18] {{nowrap|(during [[518: Flow Charts]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20090311133423/https://xkcd.com/ 2009-03-11] {{nowrap|(during [[554: Not Enough Work]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} now has {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}.}}
|This header text was a simple, copy-paste store promotion advertising signed print-outs of comics, which could be ordered in the store before it was shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20081216003547/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-16] {{nowrap|(during [[517: Marshmallow Gun]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ xkcd store]}} (now with {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ signed prints]}}!) is running smoothly, 
so we’ve extended the US Christmas order deadline to Tuesday.}}
|This header text was to let people know that apparently, it was not too late to order things and get them shipped in time for Christmas (with the obligatory advertisement for the signed comic print-outs, of course). This text was almost certainly up before it was archived, however, as the 'Tuesday' in question was the very day that it was added to archive.org. The wording is also a bit confusing, as it implies that either 1)they were expecting the store to NOT be running smoothly or 2)the store running smoothly at all is unexpected.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081202150349/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-02] {{nowrap|(during [[511: Sleet]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20081211124445/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-12-11] {{nowrap|(during [[515: No One Must Know]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ Order]}} before the 12th to ensure 
US delivery before the 25th.}}
|This was the routine December header text at this point. It let readers know that there was not only new merch in the store, but also revealed the date you needed to order to have delivery guaranteed by the 25th. This date would later be extended to the 16th, but nobody knew about that at this point.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081002175315/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-10-02] {{nowrap|(during [[483: Fiction Rule of Thumb]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081125150337/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[508: Drapes]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} XKCD updates every Monday, 
Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|This rather oddly-formatted header text was a simple store promotion and standard header combo, letting people know that new merch had been added to the store. Randall was seemingly quite proud of all the new stuff that had been recently added to the shop, because the store had been advertised for over 4 straight months at this point and would continue to be promoted until 4 months later. This is the first, and seemingly only, time that the standard header text has been broken up into multiple lines.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080805184617/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-08-05] {{nowrap|(during [[458: Regrets]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080922225907/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-09-22] {{nowrap|(during [[479: Tones]]}})
|[[File:2008 store banner.png]] 
{{Header text|{{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ New merchandise in the store!]}} New {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ shirt and skirt]}} now shipping.}}
|This was the second header in a row to promote the store. This one promoted 'new merchandise', more specifically a shirt and a skirt, which were apparently shipping at the time.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080728075533/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-28] {{nowrap|(during [[455: Hats]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and skirt in the {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}}.}}
|This was a very simple header. It said that there had been new releases in the store, being a shirt and, rather unexpectedly, a skirt. No clue what would have been put on a skirt, but it existed.
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080617035452/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-06-17] {{nowrap|(during [[437: SUV]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080703181835/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-07-03] {{nowrap|(during [[444: Macgyver Gets Lazy]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080409062908/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-09] {{nowrap|(during [[408: Overqualified]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080430072916/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-04-30] {{nowrap|(during [[417: The Man Who Fell Sideways]]}})
|{{Header text|The {{Header link|[http://store.xkcd.com/ store]}} is back.}}
|This rather ominous header text came after the store had apparently gone away for a few months. This was one of the shortest header texts ever, coming in at just four words and 15 characters.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080321072739/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-03-21] {{nowrap|(during [[399: Travelling Salesman Problem]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD is updated every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
The [http://store.xkcd.com/ {{Header link|store] {{Header text|is back.}}}}}}
|This rather ominous header text was an announcement of the reinstatement of the xkcd store, which had apparently gone away for some time between January 16th, 2008 (the last time the store had been promoted on the header text) and March 21st, 2008 (the only time this header text was archived). I find it funny that Randall successfully made it sound like the xkcd store was a supervillain from a children's cartoon or the antagonist in a bad 1970s sci-fi movie.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|Archived [https://web.archive.org/web/20080218115842/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-18] {{nowrap|(during [[385: How it Works]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday. 
Blag: [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/aliens/ {{Header link|Aliens] {{Header text|and [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/02/15/the-laser-elevator/ {{Header link|laser elevators]{{Header text|.}}}}}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple promotion of two recent Blag posts. 'Aliens' was a short rant about how poorly we were seaching for extraterrestrial life, and a prediction that the search for alien life would ramp up 'in a decade' (which, at the time of this post going up, would have been 2018). This obviously didn't end up panning out. The other one, laser elevators, is a rant about how bad {{w|Solar sail|Solar sails}} are, and shows a solution that a recent study had come up with, where a photon could be repeatedly bounced between a solar sail and a large reflective panel to create large amounts of energy. The post then goes farther off the rails, comparing physics to sex and then creating a theory where, using a Dyson sphere and a series of lasing cavities within it, a laser could be created and aimed at a star, creating an effective method for interstellar war. The post ends with a message to the aliens: the rather brash "FUCK YOU GUYS!"
|Other promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20080116055414/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-16] {{nowrap|(during [[371: Compiler Complaint]]}}) until c. [https://web.archive.org/web/20080202114535/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-02-02] {{nowrap|(during [[378: Real Programmers]]}})
|{{Header text|XKCD updates every monday, wednesday, and friday.}}
|A return to the standard header text.
|style="background-color: #5c5c5c;" |Standard Header
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071212040227/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-12] {{nowrap|(during [[355: Couple]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20080113050121/https://xkcd.com/ 2008-01-13] {{nowrap|(during [[369: Dangers]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]] 
[http://xkcd.com/store {{Header link|xkcd store]}}
|This was the traditional, annual store promotion, banner and all. However, unlike past future promotions, this header did not actually mention Christmas, it just kinda happened to be there during Christmas. It was clearly a Christmas promotion. And if that wasn't convincing enough, the actual name of the image in the header text is 'christmas_imglink'. However, 'christmas_imglink' stayed until mid-january, about 3 weeks after Christmas.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071125101002/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-25] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071209030605/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-12-09] {{nowrap|(during [[354: Startling]]}})
|[[File:2007 store promo header.png]]
|This header was quite short-lived. It contained a single image which promoted the store. Because of this header's low uptime and the contents of the next header, it is quite possible that Randall simply forgot to include the actual link to the store, which is what the next header added.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|-
|From [https://web.archive.org/web/20071117155253/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-17] {{nowrap|(during [[345: 1337: Part 5]]}}) until [https://web.archive.org/web/20071123133252/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-23] {{nowrap|(during [[348: Close to You]]}})
|{{Header text|New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ {{Header link|store]{{Header text|!}}}}}}
|This header text was a very simple store promotion promoting a shirt and a hoodie, which was in the store at the time before it got shut down.
|style="background-color: #ccffcc" | Store Promotion
|}

===2007-11-12 - Previous plus 1337 series notice===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071112104631/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-12] (during [[1337: Part 1]])
*The text: 
New shirt and hoodie for sale in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ store]!
There will be five comics this week, one each weekday!
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20071116040809/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-16] (during [[1337: Part 4]])

===2007-10-27 - Preorder shirt and hoodie===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071027094704/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-27] (during [[Wasteland]])
*The text: 
New shirt and hoodie for preorder in the [http://xkcd.com/store/ store]!
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20071111214505/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-11-11] (during [[Fight]])

===2007-10-24 - For the love of god randall remember your headers (nothing)===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071024131946/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-24] (during [[Getting Out of Hand]])
*Randall forgor again!
*One archive, 3-day gap, we can say circa MAYBE, but it seems fine.

===2007-10-05 - The return of the standard header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071005115902/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-05] (during [[A-Minus-Minus]])
*The text also updated so that the ‘xkcd’ was all-lowercase rather than all-caps
*The text: 
xkcd updates every monday, wednesday, and friday
*Last day [https://web.archive.org/web/20071023083642/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-23] (during [[Gyroscopes]])

===2007-10-02 - NOTHING AGAIN===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071004202736/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Tapping]])
*Randall once again fully forgor.
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20071004213008/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-04] (during [[Tapping]]

===2007-10-02 - Forums3===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071002094941/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-02] (during [[Ballmer Peak]])
*The text: 
You can use [http://forums3.xkcd.com/ forums3.xkcd.com] until DNS 
updates.
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20071003015205/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-10-03] (again, during [[Ballmer Peak]]), but OMG THIS IS A GUARANTEED LAST DAY FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

===2007-09-17 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070917215531/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-17] (during [[That Lovin' Feelin']])
*No text
*Last archive [https://web.archive.org/web/20070926234657/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-26], but only a 2-day gap, so that’s something! This was during [[Thighs]]

At this point, my archives began to break down. This is when it became much more tedious. Coincidentially, this is when archives became much more common, meaning that the pain didn’t stop after all.
===2007-08-09 - Reality-modifying stickers===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070809012909/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-08-09] (during [[Facebook]])
*The text: 
Reality-modifying stickers and a new shirt in the [https://xkcd.com/store store]!
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070904063904/https://xkcd.com/ 2007-09-04]. Next archive? The 17th!

===2007-06-10 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070610103907/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-10] (during [[With Apologies to The Who]])
*The text: 

*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070714202506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-07-14] (during [[Alone]]) Gap is between July 14th and AUGUST NINTH

===2007-06-02 - Powers of 1(0)===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070602203916/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-06-02] (during [[Powers of One]])
*The text: 
Background:{{w|Powers of ten|Powers of Ten}} on Wikipedia
*One archive, 8-day gap, when will this end…

===2007-05-24 - Communities map poster===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-24] (during [[Choices: Part 4]])
*The text: 
The [https://web.archive.org/web/20070524191621/http://xkcd.com/store/ Online Communities Map poster] is now shipping. 
This week, XKCD updates every weekday.
*One archive, 9-day gap

===2007-05-19 - Nothing once again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070519162137/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-19] (during [[Certainty]])
*The text: 

*One archive, 5-day gap… sigh…. How do we even categorize these? I haven’t thought about that…

===2007-05-06 - Preorder 256 posters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-06] (during [[Code Talkers]]
*The text: 
You can preorder posters of the online communities map in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070506050322/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*This one line was so long that you couldn’t see the end of the word ‘store’
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070514171227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-14] (during [[Regarding Mussolini]]). 5-day gap.

===2007-05-03 - 2^8th comic===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-05-03] (during [[Online Communities]])
*The text: 
Hooray, the 2^8th comic! 
By popular demand: preorder a [https://web.archive.org/web/20070503171452/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster] of this map!
*Please note that we have no clue if there was any actual demand for a poster
*One archive, but no ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-24 - Back to standard text===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070324053307/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-24] (during [[Blagofaire]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archived version [https://web.archive.org/web/20070406171936/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-04-06]. The next archive after this is from MAY THIRD.

===2007-03-21 - Good shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070321155442/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-21] (during [[Pet Peeve 114]])
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store].
*One archive, but only a three-day gap. No ‘unknown’ needed

===2007-03-16 - Sense of Security Blag===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-16] (during [[Collecting Double-Takes]]
*The text: 
There are some good shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070316050820/http://blag.xkcd.com/ Lost: comic originals, sense of security.] (blag post)
*One archive, 5-day gap…. ‘’sigh’’

===2007-03-06 - Map of the internet – That you can buy!===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-06] (during [[Cat Proximity]])
*The phrases ‘new:’ are both in red
*The text: 
New: Map of the Internet [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ poster print] 
New: Two new shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070306005449/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20070314012824/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-03-14] (during [[Escape Artist]]) (yes, I said ended, not ‘last archived version’)

===2007-02-12 - Shirt restock===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-12] (during [[Small Talk]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070212145716/http://xkcd.com/store/ T-shirts] are restocked (for now) and shipping promptly!
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070227234312/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-27]. Sadly, a seven-day archive gap means we’re back to suffering.

===2007-02-10 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070210042242/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-10] (during [[Random Number]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Only one archive, but THE GAP IS ONLY TWO DAYS!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!

===2007-02-02 - New blag post===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-02] (during [[e to the pi Minus pi]])
*The text: 
New blag post: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20070202022802/http://blag.xkcd.com/2007/01/29/washingtons-farewell-address-translated-into-the-vernacular/ Washington’s Farewell Address in everyday speech].
*Last archived version was [https://web.archive.org/web/20070204031035/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-02-04] (during [[Nintendo Surgeon]]). A six-day archive gap means we once again can’t have any fun.

===2007-01-24 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070124194143/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-24] (during [[The Problem with Wikipedia]])
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Just one archive once again! And, once again, a long archive gap means we can’t have any fun

===2007-01-19 - He zorbed too hard :(===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-19] (during [[Brain]])
*ZORB is a company offering experiences where you roll downhill in human-sized available Hampster balls. Apparently, he's attempting to acquire one of the balls for himself, and failing.
*The text: 
I tried writing to [https://web.archive.org/web/20070119080342/http://www.zorb.com/ zorb] but I can’t convince them to send me one.
*Only one archive, lasted anywhere from 1-8 days

===2006-12-31 - Standard Header===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061231002902/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-31] (during [[Hallucinations]])
*The standard header’s first appearance in its current form
*The text: 
XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
*Last archive is [https://web.archive.org/web/20070114100227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-01-14] (during [[Kayak]]). This is only an approximation, as there’s a 5-day archive gap.

===2006-12-14 - Xmas Orders closed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-14] (during [[Command Line Fu]])
*The text: 
Christmas orders are closed! They will finish shipping shortly! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061214130506/http://thecutest.info/ TheCutest]
*OH MY GOD THERE IS A 2.5 WEEK GAP

===2006-12-09 - Deadline 12/13===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061209222812/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-09] (during [[Penises]])
*The first line is in red, except for the link, which is the normal color. The second line is the normal color.
*The text: 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th. 
Supplies are limited; shirts are not guaranteed to stay in stock
*Only one archive once again! A 5-day gap in the archives mean we don’t know when it ended…or began.

===2006-12-05 - Useless shirt===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-12-05] (during [[Working for Google]])
*The second line of text is in red, except for the period at the end of the sentence.
*The text: 
New ‘Useless’ shirt available in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20061205054357/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]! (Supplies limited) 
The deadline for Christmas orders is December 13th.
*Actually, first time in a while where we really can just include that one archive, maybe with a ‘circa’ attached tho

===2006-11-29 - Nothing again===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061129035519/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2007-11-29] (during [[Exercise]])
*The text: 

*Unknown end date (6-day gap), lasted only one archive

===2006-11-18 - Need submitters===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-18] (during [[Wikifriends]])
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061118050729/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info] - Have voters, need submitters. 
(Content is user-submitted and may occasionally not be work-safe.)
*End date unknown (11-day archive gap). lasted only one archive.

===2006-11-09 - New toys===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-11-09] (during [[Interblag]]
*The text 
New toys: [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefairest.info/ TheFairest.info] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20061109002705/http://thefunniest.info/ TheFunniest.info]
*End date unknown again, 8-day gap in archives

===2006-10-13 - Nothing===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20061013224954/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-10-13] (during [[Turn Back]])
*The text: 

*Both start and end date unknown, as there is a 2-3-week gap between archives. One archive

===2006-09-01 - IRC channel===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-09-01] (during [[Mario]])
*The website at the end of the text isn’t a link, but the words ‘xkcd irc channel’ are.
*The text: 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://xkcd.com/store/ Store] has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends. 
NEWS: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060901152617/http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?t=207 xkcd irc channel] (#xkcd on irc.foonetic.net)
*We have literally no clue about anything between September 1st and October 13th. And the one on October 13th is just nothing! Also, one archive

===2006-08-29 - BEEG shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-29] (during [[Sandwich]]
*The word ‘news’ is still in all caps, but has lost its boldness.
*The text: 
Two t-shirts in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060829224233/http://xkcd.com/store/ store]! One sweet, one bitchin’. 
NEWS: Store has 2XL and 3XL shirts until preorder period ends.
*Just one archive, but at least we’re only limited to a 3-day window. Don’t include ‘until unknown’ here

===2006-08-19 - Parody Week Dinosaur===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-19] (during [[Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics]])
*Sadly, this is the only archive from the entirety of parody week. We can only assume that each comic from Parody Week had a very similar header to this, but they are all lost media now.
*The text: 
Saturday is the last day to vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://xkcd.com/date/ date contest]! 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20060819122155/http://qwantz.com/ Dinosaur Comics] tribute! Regular comics return Monday.
*Only one archive. Because the header is specific to this comic (but not comic-specific - it was definitely global), we can probably say that this header left as the global header when the next comic came out.

===2006-08-12 - Next Week Parody Week===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060812105656/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-12] (during [[Delicious]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is formatted the same as last time
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ Next week is Parody Week! New comic every weekday!
*Ended sometime around [https://web.archive.org/web/20060813123244/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-13] (during [[Delicious]])

===2006-08-10 - Awesome date project===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-08-10] (during [[I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]])
*The word ‘NEWS’ is in BOLD and ALL CAPS, but isn’t thicc like last time.
*The text: 
‘‘NEWS:‘‘ [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/store/ Signed prints] of many comics are available! 
Don’t forget to help vote in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060810182227/http://xkcd.com/date/ awesome date project]!
*Only one archive, and this time only two days between archives. We can only include the archive this time, not the ‘until unknown’

===2006-07-21 - BestThing.info===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-21] (during [[Fans]])
*’SISTER PROJECT’ is bold and in ALL CAPS (it’s also very thicc, which is odd. Same thickness as header link.)
*The text: 
Comic updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 
SISTER PROJECT: [https://web.archive.org/web/20060721093301/http://bestthing.info/ BestThing.info] - decide What’s Best!
*Only one archive, but the end date is unknown as there are ~3 weeks between headers. End with ‘until Unknown’

===2006-07-20 - Video unearthed===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060720090950/http://www.xkcd.com/ 2006-07-20] (during [[Julia Stiles]])
*News is once again in big and bold
*The text:
**NEWS: I've unearthed the video referenced in today's comic!
**Check the news section of the forums to watch it.
*Only one archive (this was a time of quick, very short-lived headers)

===2006-07-14 - Sunday last day===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-14] (during [[dPain over dt]])
*the word 'news' is, again, big and bold.
*The text:
**NEWS: Sunday is the last day to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060714234405/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]]!
*only one archive once again
===2006-07-10 - One week for tees===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-10] (during [[Red Spiders Cometh]])
*the word 'news' is '''<big>Big n' Bold</big>'''
*The text:
**NEWS: One week left to [https://web.archive.org/web/20060710090528/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ order t-shirts]!
*Only one archive

===2006-07-05 - Comic 23 Tee===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-05]
*Top red line is bold
*The text:
**Get a t-shirt based on comic #23 in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20060705031938/http://www.xkcd.com/store/ store]!
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060706040359/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-07-06] (during [[Blogofractal]])

===2006-06-16 - DYK forums===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-16] (during [[Meerkat]])
*The same format as the previous one. two lines of red text
*The text:
**T-shirts shipped out Monday morning!
**Did you know we have active [https://web.archive.org/web/20060616004747/http://forums.xkcd.com/ forums]?
*Again, only this archive

===2006-06-12 - Packaged T-shirts===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060612221916/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-06-12] (during [[Computational Linguists]])
*Text is in red sans-serif
*First time t-shirts are mentioned, but the two months in between archives probably contained something forever lost to time.
*The text:
**T-shirts are packaged and shipping first thing Monday!
*Only this one archive had this header

===2006-04-08 - nothin'===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060408214700/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-04-08] (during [[Digital Rights Management]])
*Now it's in WingDings!
*The text:
**
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060428065305/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-04-28] (during [[95: The Sierpinski Penis Game]])

===2005-12-12 - Composite face images===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-12-12]
*MORE TNR!
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
**I also create [https://web.archive.org/web/20051212080000/http://www.xkcd.com:80/morphs/ composite images of faces] (available on commission)
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20060207154349/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2006-02-07] (during [[Super Bowl]])

===2005-11-26 - ASCG===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-26] (during [[Old Notebook]])
*More TNR
*The text:
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world
**I also run the [https://web.archive.org/web/20051126094922/http://conservegravity.org/ American Society for the Conservation of Gravity]
*Only up one archive
|-
|From c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] {{nowrap|(during [[21: Kepler]]}} until c.[https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] {{nowrap|(during [[31: Barrel - Part 5]]}}
|{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
|This header text was a very short bio of Randall. It detailed multiple different things going on in his life.

{{w|RoboWar}} is a strategy-based video game where one must code a virtual robot to eliminate all others and be the last one standing. The game hosted regular competitions until mid-2003, at which point the player base began to die out. Evidently, RoboWar made a temporary return in 2005, which Randall was celebrating. He also provided a link to the official version of the game which supported {{w|Windows (operating system)|Windows}}.

[[Blue Eyes]] is a logic puzzle uploaded to xkcd c.2004. As it is a subpage of xkcd.com, he is advertising the puzzle to his audience.
===2005-10-18 - Basic Bio===
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-10-18] (during [[Kepler]])
*This was in the Times New Roman font, idk why.
*The text:
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/ Robowar] is back, with a good [https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://robowar.sourceforge.net/RoboWar5/ Windows port]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/kite/ Kite Flying] - Aerial Photography]}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/cnu_wireless/ CNU Wireless Map] - Informal survey of illegal CNU wireless networks}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/sub/ The Sub Project] - On and off through high school I worked on ROVs.}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/blue_eyes.html Blue Eyes] - The hardest logic puzzle in the world}}}}}
**{{TNR|{{{1|[https://web.archive.org/web/20051018051614/http://www.xkcd.com:80/tree_prank/ Tree Prank] - My roommate and I are kind of awful.}}}}}
*Ended [https://web.archive.org/web/20051118091333/http://www.xkcd.com:80/ 2005-11-18] (During [[Barrel - Part 5]])

343: 1337: Part 3

2026-03-31T17:11:29Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 343
| date = November 14, 2007
| title = 1337: Part 3
| image = 1337 part 3.png
| titletext = I once asked an NSA guy whether they'd broken RSA. And I know I can trust him, because I asked if he was lying to me and he said no.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the third part of five in the "[[:Category:1337|1337]]" series. The title 1337 is "L-eet," or "elite," using the {{w|Leet}} alphabet, a coding system used primarily on the internet (and on early text messaging systems), meant to provide a bit of {{w|obfuscation}} to plain text both to make it harder to read and to show off in a creative way using in-group jargon.

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday to Friday) and not over the usual schedule of three comics a week. These are all the comics in [[:Category:1337|1337 series]]:
* [[341: 1337: Part 1]]
* [[342: 1337: Part 2]]
* [[343: 1337: Part 3]]
* [[344: 1337: Part 4]]
* [[345: 1337: Part 5]]

The comic is narrated by [[Cueball]] as seen in the previous comic, but that Cueball is not shown here, where the man drawn as Cueball is a real person. {{w|Adrian Lamo}} was a hacker known for being a threat analyst and has penetrated many corporate networks. As far as we know, he has not penetrated any government networks, so helping [[Elaine Roberts]] physically break into the {{w|NSA}} would probably inspire second thoughts. The use of a rug to cross the barbed wire fence is likely a reference to a scene in ''{{w|Fight Club}}'', where the same method is used to break into a {{w|liposuction}} clinic.

{{w|RSA (algorithm)|RSA (the algorithm)}} is an encryption algorithm that allows encryption and decryption using {{w|Public-key cryptography|separate keys}}. No efficient method to {{w|RSA problem|break RSA}} is known.{{Citation needed}} But if the NSA knew any such method, it would be unlikely for them to admit that.
However, the NSA have paid {{w|RSA Security|RSA (the company)}} to put a [https://theverge.com/2013/12/20/5231006/nsa-paid-10-million-for-a-back-door-into-rsa-encryption-according-to backdoor] into one of their encryption schemes. {{w|Lawrence Lessig}} is a political activist focusing on copyright law and intellectual property, as well as a founding board member of {{w|Creative Commons}}. He also briefly ran for president as a Democrat in the 2016 cycle but dropped out before any primaries were held.

[[Steve Jobs]] was the two-time {{w|CEO}} of {{w|Apple Inc.}} In partnership with {{w|Steve Wozniak}}, he founded Apple. He oversaw Apple's return from near bankruptcy, the introduction of the original Macintosh, the {{w|iPod}}, the {{w|iPhone}}, and the {{w|iPad}}. But in the '90s, most of this had not happened yet. The comic is implying that it was Elaine, in fact, who planted those ideas in Jobs' mind (while perching on his bedpost, a nearly-impossible physical task for even a relatively small and light human being - such a stance is often depicted for gargoyles or fictional vampires, the latter of which are associated with nocturnal bedroom-invasions like this). Furthermore, Steve's reactions indicate that he was abruptly woken up by Elaine after she broke into his home and started a one-sided conversation with him.

The final panel is a pun on the Riot grrrls - {{w|Riot grrrl}} is an underground feminist punk rock movement. This metamorphosizes in the hands of Randall into Riot Prrl - who presumably prefers to code in {{w|Perl}}. The [https://www.facebook.com/Riot-Prrl-219590338058369/ real Riot Prrl] is from {{w|Northampton}} and is into {{w|Yarn bombing|guerilla knitting}}.

The title text may refer to the {{w|urban legend}} that leads petty criminals to ask each other [https://www.snopes.com/risque/hookers/cop.asp "Are you a cop?"]. The bottom line is that anyone who is capable of lying about breaking the RSA encryption algorithm, possibly including the "NSA guy," would be equally capable of lying about whether or not he is lying.

==Transcript==
:[Outside, Adrian Lamo is helping Elaine Roberts over a barbed wire fence.]
:It was the late 90's. Elaine crisscrossed the country with Adrian Lamo, the 'Homeless Hacker', learning to gain entry into systems both virtual and physical.
:Adrian Lamo: So you just throw a rug over the fence and... say, what ''is'' this place anyway?
:Roberts: Nowhere special.
:Lamo: ...Elaine, is this NSA Headquarters?
:Roberts: ...Look, I just want to see if they've broken RSA.

:[Inside, Lawrence Lessig is sitting at a table, Roberts is standing across the table swinging a knife.]
:She learned, from Lawrence Lessig, about the monstrosity that is U.S. Copyright Law.
:Roberts: So, how do we fix the system? Stab bad guys?
:Lessig: I'm starting something called "Creative Commons"
:''Shink''
:Elaine Roberts: I think we should stab bad guys...

:[Steve Jobs is lying up in his bed, Roberts is balancing while crouched on the foot of Jobs's bed.]
:She met with Steve Jobs to discuss the future of Apple.
:Roberts: Compression and bandwidth are changing everything.
:Jobs: Who are you? It's 3:00AM!
:Roberts: Apple should make a portable music player.
:Jobs: I'm calling the police.
:Roberts: Hey, idea — integrate it with a cell phone!

:[Scene has two of Elaine's activities. In one she is drumming, in the other she has an electric guitar on her shoulders, one hand on the frets. The other hand is holding a laptop by the touchpad.]
:She even, for a time, took up drumming, and helped start a movement among teen girls, a culture of self-taught female programmers and musicians, coding by day and rocking out by night—
:Roberts: Riot Prrl.

==Trivia==
This is the first xkcd comic featuring [[Steve Jobs]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:1337|03]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|1337]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Elaine Roberts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]] 
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Steve Jobs]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Cryptography]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Fight Club]]
[[Category:CC-BY-SA comics]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

405: Journal 3

2026-03-31T17:11:15Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 405
| date = April 2, 2008
| title = Journal 3
| image = journal 3.png
| titletext = Oh, and, uh, if the Russian government asks, that submarine was always there.
}}

==Explanation==
In [[374: Journal]], [[Black Hat]] explains to [[Cueball]] that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance.

In [[377: Journal 2]], however, [[Danish]] sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus stripping him of the satisfaction and confidence of a proper social connection. She decamps, abducting his hat in the process. (We also explored the fact that she might be even better than Black Hat. But Black Hat shows his true power and ingeniosity.)

Initially vanquished, Black Hat seems to have recovered and tracked Danish down, even to the extreme fringes of the Earth. He tells Danish that although she was able to read him impossibly adequately she blundered one "inconsequential" detail. We are led to believe that this is some mistake in the disguising of her tracks, but then he explains that it was simply how much he values his hat. It may also be the possibility that Black Hat placed a tracking device of some sort on his hat. This way he trampolines her wrath back at her. She thought that he would agonise the loss of her - the only person who understands him - but he subdues her ego when claiming that he likes his hat (implicitly saying that he doesn't care for her). The series continues in [[432: Journal 4]]. He leaves, taking “her hat" from her.

The title text continues the theme of Black Hat's supernatural ability to troll and to deftly dodge the consequences: If Black Hat stole a military submarine, said military is probably going to be hot on his tail, but he writes it off with: "just tell them it was always here," as if it is no big deal. Black Hat will even be blamed for stealing the submarine in [[496: Secretary: Part 3]]. However, since this is (presumably) the American Senate reviewing him, it may be that he simply has stolen two submarines. It is also possible that the submarine is the American submarine and the title text refers to the Russian Government because their current location is in their territory, and he is shifting any reason for the submarine being there away from himself.

It perhaps may be significant that this comic includes the line "So, you found me after all", given that the previous comic number [[404: Not Found]] was skipped, leading instead to an HTTP 404 Not Found error page.
The destiny of Black Hat is fully known in [[:Category:Journal|The Journal]].

The whole "[[:Category:Journal|Journal]]" story is:
*[[374: Journal]]
*[[377: Journal 2]]
*[[405: Journal 3]]
*[[432: Journal 4]]
*[[433: Journal 5]]

==Transcript==
:[Two women ice-skating outside.]
:Ponytail: Wait up!
:Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat): Skate faster!

:[Danish sees cracking ice.]
:''Crack Crack''

:[Danish on chunk of ice broken off.]
:''Crack Rumble''

:[Submarine dorsal fin emerging.]
:''AWOOGA''

:[Black Hat (without hat) coming out of hatch.]
:''CREAK''
:Black Hat: Hi.

:Black Hat: That's my hat you're wearing.

:Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat(stolen in [[Journal 2]])): So, you found me after all.
:Black Hat (out of frame): You didn't make it easy.

:Black Hat: You saw through me, all right. But not quite well enough.

:Black Hat: Because if you wanted to stay lost forever, you made one mistake.

:[Black Hat climbing out of hatch.]

:[Black Hat sliding down a sheet of ice.]

:[Black Hat taking back his hat from Danish's head as he slides by on the ice.]

:[Black Hat skidding to a stop and putting hat back on his head.]

:Black Hat: You took my hat.

:Black Hat: I '''LIKE''' my hat.

:[Black Hat walking away.]

:[Danish left standing, feeling like Black Hat in [[Journal 2]].]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Journal|03]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Journal]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

426: Geohashing

2026-03-31T17:10:54Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 426
| date = May 21, 2008
| title = Geohashing
| image = geohashing.png
| titletext = Saturday is game night
}}

== Explanation ==

{{w|Geocaching}} is a sport where you have to find things hidden by other people based on geographical coordinates. Randall has had a similar idea before in [[201: Christmas GPS]].

[https://geohashing.site/ Geohashing] is a sport created by Randall based on reaching a random location determined by an [https://geohashing.site/geohashing/The_Algorithm algorithm] that uses a {{w|hash function}} that involves the current date, location, and the {{w|Dow Jones Industrial Average|Dow}} opening price. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is a {{w|stock market index}} dealt in New York City.

The algorithm is built in a way that:
* Makes it impossible to plan a meeting in advance of more than a few days and usually not more than a day.
** This is due to incorporation of the Dow opening as seed - there isn't a new value of the seed every day since the Dow doesn't open on weekends or holidays, but there is for most days. The reason Saturday is mentioned in the title-text is that the coordinates for that day are generated using Friday's open, giving a greater number of hours to plan the 4 PM local time meetup (how many depends on the time zone(s) of the graticule, hence the '30W' rule).
* Changes every day, due to the incorporation of the UTC date.
* Has only a vanishingly small chance of generating a point in the same exact location twice via hash collision. Some of them have gotten closeish to each other, however.
* Gathers people who are nearby - everyone within the same 1°×1° grid square ('graticule') gets the same position, and one hash in the von Neumann 3*3 neighborhood of surrounding graticules is guaranteed to be the closest to a hasher in the central graticule (not necessarily the one for that graticule, however).

The algorithm works as follows:
# Take the current date in the format yyyy-mm-dd and append the most recent opening value for the Dow Jones Industrial Average.
# Pass this string through the MD5 algorithm.
# Divide the hash value into two 16 character halves, and convert each half to a decimal.
# Take the integer portions of your current coordinates and append the decimal hash values.

{{w|MD5}} is a cryptographic hashing algorithm, and converts plaintext data into a seemingly random 128-bit (32 character) string. A good hashing algorithm should have three main properties: it is non-reversible, you cannot generate any plaintext data back from the hash, and a given sample of data will always produce the same hash value, but even a tiny change to the original plaintext should produce an entirely different hash.

The example co-ordinates are for the Google headquarters in California, as you can see here: [https://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=37.421542+-122.085589&aq=&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=73.209607,135.263672&vpsrc=0&ie=UTF8&t=m&z=17&iwloc=A 37.421542 -122.085589]. The example date, May 26 2005, may reference the fact that the first edition of the Dow came out on May 26, 1896. (Why 2005? Unclear. Perhaps since 2005 is the year xkcd started?)

While geohashing was originally intended as a joke,{{Citation needed}} there are people who geohash regularly. Please see the link to the Geohashing wiki above.

The title-text may imply that people should bring games to their geohashing location on the Saturday following the comic's release. If they do so and take photos, they may post them to [https://geohashing.site/geohashing/games_we_play the Games We Play page].

==Transcript==
:Date (example): 2005-05-26
:That date's (or most recent) DOW opening: 10458.68
:[Concatenate, with a hyphen: 2005-05-26-10458.68]
:md5: db9318c2259923d08b672cb305440f97
:[Split it up into two pieces:]
:0.db9318c2259923d0, 0.8b672cb305440f97
:To decimal: 0.857713..., 0.544544...
:Your location (example): 37.421542, -122.085589
:[Combine integer part of location with fractional part of hash:]
:Destination Coordinates: 37.857713, -122.544544
:Sample Implementation: <nowiki>http://xkcd.com/geohashing/</nowiki>

==Trivia==
* In response to comic [[353: Python]], the Python developers implemented the module <code>antigravity</code> in version 2.7+. This module contains a reference geohashing function.
* Due to the 2019 hacking of the XKCD forum server, which the Geohashing wiki was also hosted at, the wiki was unavailable until February 2020. It is since back online under the new domain of [http://geohashing.site geohashing.site].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Stock Market]]
[[Category:Google]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

432: Journal 4

2026-03-31T17:10:27Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 432
| date = June 4, 2008
| title = Journal 4
| image = journal_4.png
| titletext = Man, this emo shit was supposed to be for people who didn't have hats.
}}

==Explanation==
In Journal 1, [[Black Hat]] explains to [[Cueball]] that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance.

In Journal 2, however, [[Danish]] sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process. Initially stunned, in Journal 3 he at last regained his hat, the emblem of his personality and attitude, leaving him with the higher ground.

Now, precipitously, Black Hat has found himself to be in love with Danish, even though this counters his whole worldview. He even took off his precious hat. As stated in the title text, he somehow believed that he was immune to such feelings. What is he to do? And why is he in love? And how?

The title text indicates that Black Hat had previously believed that his hat signified, or even caused, immunity from emotional sensitivity (usually depicted in his [[classhole]] behavior). The meaning of Black Hat's hat is not specified, but it is clearly something important to him. More evidence of the hat's adumbrative meaning can be seen in [[455: Hats]].

The whole "[[:Category:Journal|Journal]]" story is:
*[[374: Journal]]
*[[377: Journal 2]]
*[[405: Journal 3]]
*[[432: Journal 4]]
*[[433: Journal 5]]

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat sits slumped over on a bench, holding his hat in one hand, displaying his thin hair, while resting his cheek on his other arm.]
:Black Hat: S<big>i</big>GH

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Journal|04]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Journal]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]] 
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

433: Journal 5

2026-03-31T17:10:16Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 433
| date = June 6, 2008
| title = Journal 5
| image = journal_5.png
| titletext = 'Pick you up at eight?' 'Nine. I've got to re-mine the driveway.'
}}

==Explanation==
In [[Journal]], [[Black Hat]] explains to [[Cueball]] that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance.

In [[Journal 2]], however, [[Danish]] sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process.

Initially stunned, he at last regained his hat in [[Journal 3]], the trademark of his personality and attitude, leaving him with the upper hand.

(In [[412: Startled]] he's shown more easily startled than usual, possibly due to Danish setting him on edge and cracking his façade.)

In [[Journal 4]], however, he is overcome with emotions, to the extent that he has even taken his black hat off while sitting head in hand on a bench, wondering in the title text why he would feel any emotions when he has a hat.

Now, in Journal 5, Black Hat parks his car and soon finds himself on the doorstep of Danish's house. He comes to tell her that he gives up and that she wins, because he just has to know who she is. This is very uncharacteristic of Black Hat. He then tries to tell her that he thinks they understand each other's personalities and that this means something to him. He is obviously smitten with her on some level. But all she does about this initially is use her remote control to set off the mines she installed in the driveway where Black Hat's car is parked.

But, even in his state of love, Black Hat had spotted these mines and moved them to her garage. So when Danish sets them off, she destroys her own garage (and possibly her car) instead of Black Hat's car. When he tells her about moving them, she is impressed and acknowledges this by saying ''Touché''. Maybe this is when she also begins to respect him in her own weird manner.

Black Hat can foresee that it will be a tricky relationship with their sadistic personalities crashing together, but when Danish gives him the option to go find a ''non-crazy girl'', he promptly states that this doesn't interest him at all.

In the title text, it seems that neither of them is deterred by this obstacle, and their relationship begins when Black Hat tells her that he will pick her up at eight, although she does ask for one more hour, so she can booby-trap the driveway again before he comes back at nine. This did not seem to harm their future relationship, as in most of the later [[:Category:Comics featuring Danish|comics with Danish]] she is mainly shown together with Black Hat, sometimes even in a clearly romantic setting, like in [[515: No One Must Know]], from where she got her name.
And thus the relationship is born between Black Hat and Danish.

The whole "[[:Category:Journal|Journal]]" story is:
*[[374: Journal]]
*[[377: Journal 2]]
*[[405: Journal 3]]
*[[432: Journal 4]]
*[[433: Journal 5]]

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat parks his car.]
:''PARK''

:[Black Hat knocks at door.]
:''KNOCK KNOCK''

:Black Hat: Hi.
:Danish: Hi.

:Black Hat: I give up. You win. I have to know who you are.

:Black Hat: We understand each other. I can't let that slip away—
:''beep'' [from device in Danish's hand.]
:''BOOM''

:Black Hat: What was that?!
:Danish: Remote mines under your car.

:Black Hat: Oh, those? I moved them to your garage before knocking.
:Danish: Touché.

:Black Hat: ...This relationship is going to be tricky.
:Danish: There's still time to leave and find a non-crazy girl.
:Black Hat: Not even ''slightly'' interested.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Journal|05]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Journal]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel

2026-03-31T17:10:03Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 442
| date = June 27, 2008
| title = xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel
| image = xkcd_loves_the_discovery_channel.png
| titletext = I love the title-text!
}}
==Explanation==
This comic is a parody of the {{w|Discovery Channel}} commercial showing various clips of people singing a song with the chorus line [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0 'Boom De Yada']. The comic is divided into a grid of 4 panels by 6 panels, most depicting a character or situation from a previous xkcd strip. In each panel is written a part of a song similar to the song from the Discovery Channel commercial.

The campaign from the {{w|Discovery Channel}} was not called "Boom De Yada," but "I Love the World". The title "xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel" is in reference to this.

Most of the panels are references to previous xkcd strips, but a few are not.

;Panel 1 ''I love momentum.''
:A reference to comic [[162: Angular Momentum]], where [[Megan]] spins in a circle to "rob the planet of angular momentum."
;Panel 2 ''I love to engineer.''
:A reference to comic [[413: New Pet]], where Megan and [[Cueball]] turn an {{w|EEE PC}} into a household pet.
;Panel 3 ''I love this bakery!''
:A reference to comic [[434: xkcd Goes to the Airport]], where [[Beret Guy]] shows his liking for bakeries in first panel. His love of bakeries is a recurring gag in the comic.
;Panel 4 ''I love the blogosphere!''
:A reference to comic [[239: Blagofaire]], where someone from the far future believes that many people blogged from high-altitude balloons whilst wearing red capes and goggles. The flying character may be [[Cory Doctorow]], who is mentioned in the comic as the only blogger to actually do this, and who also appeared in comic [[345: 1337: Part 5]] in this guise.
;Panel 5 ''I love the whole world.'' (Cueball running in a large hamster ball.)
:Likely a reference to comic [[152: Hamster Ball]], though there are [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Hamster_Ball multiple comics] featuring human-sized {{w|Hamster ball|hamster balls}}.
;Panel 6 ''And all its messed-up folks.''
:A reference to the {{w|/b/}} ("Random") forum on {{w|4chan}}, which is in fact home to plenty of "messed-up folks." This on-line behavior is something [[Randall]] comments on in several comics both before and after this. For instance in [[202: YouTube]].
;Panel 7 ''Boom de yada, Boom de yada'' (Cueball and Megan immersed in playpen balls.)
:A reference to comic [[150: Grownups]], where Megan decides that she has the ability to, and wants to, turn her house into a giant ball pit.
;Panel 8 ''Boom de yada, Boom de yada'' (''I put on my robe and wizard hat'')
:A reference to [http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja this roleplay chat transcript] (NSFW), which became an Internet meme. A user named bloodninja would roleplay as a wizard during {{w|cybersex}} (saying "I put on my robe and wizard hat" to signal this) and invariably infuriate his unwitting partners with demeaning actions. Other incidents involved him roleplaying as a rhinoceros. In the above mentioned comic [[150: Grownups]], the two characters also disappear, but in that case a big pink heart comes out of the playpen balls.
;Panel 9 ''I love your suffering.''
:The recurring character [[Black Hat]] is being his usual self and causing suffering for his own amusement, as in comic [[72: Classhole]]. In this panel, he is seen giving a child a present, probably containing a bobcat as seen in [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]. He could also be taking the present from the child.
;Panel 10 ''I love cryptography.''
:{{w|Cryptography}} is a subject that comes up often in the comic, notably, in comics [[153: Cryptography]] and [[177: Alice and Bob]] before this one (for a full list see [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Cryptography Category:Cryptography]). The panel shows a flowchart of the kind commonly used to show how a particular cryptosystem works and/or how it can be broken.
;Panel 11 ''I love entangled sheets.''
:Sexual reference. Sex and red sheets are also brought up in comic [[230: Hamiltonian]].
;Panel 12 ''And kite photography.''
:A reference to Randall's own hobby of [http://xkcd.com/kite/ kite photography], as well as comic [[235: Kite]].
;Panel 13 ''I love the whole world'' (Map of the internet.)
:A reference to comic [[256: Online Communities]], featuring online communities of the time visualized as a world map, with geographic areas representing their approximate membership size. There is, more directly, a pun on "internet," namely "outernet."
;Panel 14 ''And all its mysteries.''
:A reference to a series of comics on "red spiders": [[8|8: Red Spiders]], [[43|43: Red Spiders 2]], [[47|47: Counter-Red Spiders]], [[126|126: Red Spiders Cometh]], and [[427|427: Bad Timing]].
;Panel 15 ''Boom de yada, Boom de yada'' (Two people sword-fighting on rolling office chairs.)
:A reference to comic [[303: Compiling]], where two coders battle with fake swords at work, with the excuse that their code is compiling.
;Panel 16 ''Boom de yada, Boom de yada'' (Classroom with two students and a teacher.)
:Nothing too special, but it does embrace the "everybody joins in" theme behind the commercials. The teacher is [[Miss Lenhart]], who was first properly introduced in comic [[263: Certainty]], but may have made an appearance in comic [[59: Graduation]].
;Panel 17 ''I love elections'' (''Barack me Obamadeus!'')
:A pun on the song {{w|Rock Me Amadeus}} and US president {{w|Barack Obama}}. At this point, Randall had not done any comics directly on elections, but he made this after the one in 2008: [[500: Election]] and has shown his love for this subject also around the 2012 election.
;Panel 18 ''I love transistors.''
:This panel has Cueball's crotch replaced with the (similar-looking) icon used for a {{w|transistor}} in a {{w|circuit diagram}}. Randall later showed how much he loves anything that can go in to such a diagram in [[730: Circuit Diagram]].
;Panel 19 ''I love weird pillow talk.'' (''There ''must'' be Taft slash fiction.'')
:"[http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pillow+talk Pillow talk]" means intimate conversations between lovers, "{{w|slash fiction}}" is fanfiction with characters of the same sex, and "Taft" is {{w|William Howard Taft}}, a US President mostly remembered for his severe obesity. It appears that they are invoking {{w|Rule 34 (Internet meme)|rule 34 of the Internet}} as a reference to [[305: Rule 34]]. Weird pillow talk is also the subject of comic [[69: Pillow Talk]], while the Taft reference comes from comic [[214: The Problem with Wikipedia]].
;Panel 20 ''I love your sister.''
:A reference to xkcd's recurring joke of dating the female character's sister, which spans several comics including [[49: Want]], [[279: Pickup Lines]], [[317: That Lovin' Feelin']], and [[408: Overqualified]].
;Panel 21 ''I love the whole world'' (Roller coaster with Cueball holding a chess board)
:A reference to comic [[249: Chess Photo]], which inspired an internet meme.
;Panel 22 ''The future's pretty cool!'' (Beret Guy in a forest.)
:The picture of the forest is similar to that in [[269: TCMP]], though it may also be a reference to comic [[167: Nihilism]], where Cueball and Beret Guy make observations about the future while climbing a tree. Later, in comic [[1322: Winter]], the two are seen walking through a forest very similar to the one shown here. The forest Beret Guy is in also may be a reference to the {{w|Narnia (world)|Wood Between the Worlds}} in {{w|The Magician's Nephew}}, from the series of childrens' books, {{w|The Chronicles of Narnia}} by {{w|C.S. Lewis}}.
;Panel 23 ''Boom de yada, Boom de yada'' (Megan doing the MC Hammer slide towards Cueball.)
:A reference to comic [[108: M.C. Hammer Slide]], where Hairy falls in love with "a girl whose only mode of transportation is the M.C. Hammer Slide."
;Panel 24 ''Boom de yada, Boom de yada'' (Cueball and Megan on an electric skateboard.)
:A reference to comic [[409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)]], where Megan and Cueball go on an electric skateboard ride, but he already introduced these back in [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]].

The title text continues the song, self-referentially. Self-reference is a reoccurring theme in {{w|Douglas Hofstadter|Douglas Hofstadter's}} books, notably ''{{w|Gödel, Escher, Bach}}'', which Randall refers to directly in [[24: Godel, Escher, Kurt Halsey]]. Later, Hofstadter has been referenced in other comics, such as in the title text of [[555: Two Mirrors]] and [[608: Form]], plus, of course, in [[917: Hofstadter]]. Self-reference as a form of humor was also [[:Category:Self-reference|explored before]], but most famously in the later [[688: Self-Description]].

From ''[[xkcd: volume 0]]'':
{{quote|To everyone who did YouTube covers of this, I love you all.}}

==Transcript==
:[The comic is in parody of the Discovery Channel commercial showing various clips of people singing a song with the chorus line "Boom De Yada."]
:[The comic is divided into a grid of 4 panels by 6 panels, each depicting a character or situation often from a previous xkcd strip.]
:[In each panel is written a part of a song similar to the song from the Discovery Channel commercial.]

:Panel 1:
:[Megan spinning around.]
:I love momentum.

:Panel 2:
:[Megan laying on floor tinkering with an EEE PC hamster ball robot.]
:I love to engineer.

:Panel 3:
:[Beret Guy standing in bakery holding a loaf of bread in each hand, a sign with "PIE!" in background.]
:I love this bakery!

:Panel 4:
:[Cory Doctorow in goggles and a red cape flying superman-style.]
:I love the blogosphere!

:Panel 5:
:[Cueball running in a large hamster ball.]
:I love the whole world

:Panel 6:
:[Depiction of internet sludge (4chan b-Random)]
:And all its messed-up folks.

:Panel 7:
:[Cueball and Megan immersed in playpen balls.]
:Boom De Yada
:Boom De Yada

:Panel 8:
:[Mass of playpen balls with speech "I put on my robe and wizard hat" originating from it.]
:Boom De Yada
:Boom De Yada

:Panel 9:
:[Black Hat taking a present from a kid with a party hat.]
:I love your suffering.

:Panel 10:
:[Diagram showing RSA fingerprint authentication between two people.]
:I love cryptography.

:Panel 11:
:[Cueball and Megan in bed covered by a red sheet.]
:I love entangled sheets.

:Panel 12:
:[Cueball hanging from a kite string holding a camera.]
:And kite photography.

:Panel 13:
:[Map of the internet.]
:I love the whole world

:Panel 14:
:[Cube with a red spider on top.]
:And all its mysteries.

:Panel 15:
:[Two people sword-fighting on rolling office chairs.]
:Boom De Yada
:Boom De Yada

:Panel 16:
:[Classroom with two students and Miss Lenhart.]
:Boom De Yada
:Boom De Yada

:Panel 17:
:[Cueball saying "Barack me Obamadeus!" to another man speaking energetically at a podium.]
:I love elections.

:Panel 18:
:[Cueball holding a schematic diagram of a transistor in front of his crotch.]
:I love transistors.

:Panel 19:
:[Cueball and Megan in bed, Cueball saying "There ''must'' be taft slash fiction."]
:I love weird pillow talk.

:Panel 20:
:[Cueball speaking to Megan.]
:I love your sister.

:Panel 21:
:[Roller coaster with Cueball in the front car holding a chess board and thinking about a move.]
:I love the whole world.

:Panel 22:
:[Beret Guy standing in the midst of leafless trees.]
:The future's pretty cool!

:Panel 23:
:[Megan doing the MC Hammer slide towards Cueball.]
:Boom De Yada
:Boom De Yada

:Panel 24:
:[Cueball and Megan on an electric skateboard.]
:Boom De Yada
:Boom De Yada

==Trivia==
* This comic was enacted by Olga Nunes and various famous people as [http://www.olganunes.com/xkcd ''We Love xkcd''].
* Noam Raby and Olga Nunes also produced an animation based upon this comic, named [https://vimeo.com/7151435 ''I Love xkcd''].
* This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20220125023401/https://store.xkcd.com/products/signed-prints available as a signed print] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]] 
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Engineering]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Hamster balls]]
[[Category:Playpen balls]]
[[Category:Cryptography]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Kites]]
[[Category:Photography]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Red Spiders]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Your sister]]
[[Category:Chess]]
[[Category:Electric skateboard]]
[[Category:Self-reference]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

472: House of Pancakes

2026-03-31T17:09:54Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{DISPLAYTITLE:472: House of Pancakes}}
{{comic
| number = 472
| date = September 5, 2008
| title = House of Pancakes
| image = house_of_pancakes.png
| titletext = Fuck it, I'm just going to Waffle House.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] is parodying Mark Z. Danielewski's novel ''{{w|House of Leaves}}'' by renaming it ''House of Pancakes'' (after the American fast food franchise {{w|International House of Pancakes}}). ''House of Leaves'' has an unconventional page layout and style, including the colouring of every instance of the word "house" in blue, as is done on the menu. It includes footnotes within footnotes like Randall did here.

In ''House of Leaves'', protagonist Johnny Truant (whose meta-narration is marked by Courier font as mimicked in the comic) discovers a book called ''The Navidson Record'' (represented here by the pancake menu), which in turn details a film of the same name, which in turn details a horror story of a family living in a sentient house. Truant, who is clearly intelligent and cultured, probes deeper into notating ''The Navidson Record''—and into insomnia—until ''The Navidson Record'' consumes his mind horrifically, the same way the film in the novel consumed the author of ''The Navidson Record'', the same way the house in the novel consumed part of the family.

''House of Leaves'' lends itself to many interpretations, but has been called a "satire of academic criticism," which makes this comic essentially a satire of a satire. Since part of the appeal of ''House of Leaves'' is that it takes itself extremely seriously with its intricacy, multitude of both real and made-up references to academic and popular culture, and layered emotional conflict, Randall's reduction of the ''House of Leaves'' to the (International) House of Pancakes cuts a humorous edge to a dark story. The tone of the comic parodies the tone of ''House of Leaves'': lonely, fear-inducing, and increasingly insane, but using pancakes instead of darkness.

Additionally, the mysterious "Mohawk Girl" referred to in the comic may be a nod to the ''House of Leaves'' character Delial, or to [[147: A Way So Familiar]].

The word "house" is in blue in every instance, which is a stylistic attribute of Mark Z. Danielewski's novel. Every Minotaur reference is marked out in red ink, and every use of "house" or a foreign language's equivalent, such as 'Haus' and 'maison' is in blue. This is not a reference to hyperlinks. It is often thought that the house is printed in blue because houses have 'blueprints.'

The censored portion of the Big Steak Omelette is "...fresh green peppers, onions, mushrooms,..." per IHOP's website for the Big Steak Omelette: "Tender and tasty strips of steak, hash browns, fresh green peppers, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes and Cheddar cheese." Also, Omelette is misspelled, but that's probably just a typo.

The title text refers to the {{w|Waffle House}}, another US restaurant chain. The joke is that the protagonist has decided that maybe all this angst isn't worth it, and he'll just go to a different restaurant.

Clicking on the original comic links to the amazon.com page for House of Leaves.

From ''[[xkcd: volume 0]]'':
{{quote|This is a parody of the fascinating book ''House of Leaves''.}}

==Transcript==
:[All instances of the word "House" are in blue. Text is a mix of 'Printed' (hi-res serifed proportional font), 'Typed' (more crude-looking non-proportional serifed font) and 'Written' (freetext, in standard xkcd AllCaps style, having the occasional decoration and emphasis added).]
:[Above the 'frame' is Typed text:] Every day a new city, a new IHOP. And yet every night the dreams get worse. I ply the highways, a nervous eye on the rear-view mirror, the back seat piled with stolen menus. Their doors are opened 24 hours, but forever closed to my soul. This is what my life has become. This is my hell.
:[A bordered frame, in the style of an (illustrated and annotated) menu. We see two columns of product descriptions, three full ones and in each column and a hint of a fourth going beyond the bottom of the frame.]
:[Each clear description generally start with a product name, in bold, and a product description, all in Printed text. To the left of these are an illustrative image which has a barely legible caption seemingly identical to the product namr header, and a stylistic 'angled shadow' set subtly behind it. In each description text there may be at least one footnote-number in superscript and square-brackets. Below each are Typed footnote paragraphs (mostly) relating to the footnote numbers in the above description. Additional scribbles are Written around and alongside the above, as text, doodles and other marks of one type or another.]
:[Menu header:]
::[Sidenote left, Written:] International
::[Printed header:] House of Pancakes
::[Scribbled-out sidenote, Written to the right:] BLOGSPOT

:[Item subheader, top of first column:] Strawberry Banana Pancakes
::[Item description:] Four pancakes filled with sliced fresh banana and crowned with cool strawberry topping, more [17] bananas and [23] whipped topping.
::[Footnote 17, with three smudged fingerprints over parts of this and the top of the next item down (a fourth, perhaps, far to the bottom of the framed area):] Driven by a nameless fear, a whisper in the dark behind me, I flee ahead of I know not what. Whenver I turn, there's nobody behind me. And yet someone is clearly stealing the ketchup. WHY?
::[Footnote 23, sandwiched incongruously and sideways from low to high, mostly between the images of the Stuffed French Toast and Ham and Egg Melt items, to the right:] My life is feeding, fleeing, fighting, and forgetting.

:[Item subheader, second down on left column:] Rooty Jr.
::[Item description, a splash of red (ketchup/blood) within it, further (secondary?) spatters and red marks, possibly including an attempt to create mostly unintelligable letters, spread on or around lower passages:] A kids only [19] version of our house signature Rooty Tooty. One scrambled egg, one strip of bacon, one pork sausage link and one fruit-topped buttermilk pancake.
::[Footnote 19:] The decision not to hyphenate "kids only" is likely connected to the omission of the serial comma. I wonder if the author is British. I wonder if he sleeps at night.

:[Item subheader, third down on left:] Rise 'N Shine
::[Item description:] Two eggs, toast and hash browns served with your choice [21] of two strips of bacon or two pork sausage links.
::[Footnote 21, starting with an small word (possibly (I") made illegible by one of the spatters of red:] rent a storage unit. Sleep there. Fill it with pancakes. Leave.

:[Item subheader, top of right column:] Stuffed French Toast
::[Item description:] Cinnamon raisin French [18] toast stuffed with sweet cream cheese filling, topped with cool strawberry or your choice of fruit compote and whipped topping.
::[Footnote 18:] Nightmares again. I wake up covered in sweat, and what appears to be a thin sheen of maple syrup

:[Inserted text, Written with emphasis and underlined:] WHO IS MOHAWK GIRL?

:[Item header, second down at right, which is sideways (low to high) in the general position that the horizontal text would normally be, next to the normally-set product image:] Ham & Egg Melt
::[Item description, also sideways and consistently 'below' (to the right of) its header:] Grilled sourdough bread stuffed with ham, scrambled eggs, Swiss and American cheeses. [20]
::[Footnote 20, normally orientated and positioned:] Ordered this in at an IHOP in Rochester, New York. There was blood on the floor. Some of it was mine.

:[Small drawn doodle, inserted, of three instances of a Cueball, the middle one holding out an item (gun?) to the right, followed by a ground feature (pool of liquid?)]
::[Written above the second (and third) Cueball:] Enough with your pancakes.
::[Written above the 'pool', two words heavily bolded:] Enough with your GOD DAMN pancakes.

:[Item header, third on the right:] The Big Steak Omlette
::[Item description, a few words of text has been censored by a black strip:] Tender strips of steak, hash browns, [censorship strip, long enough to obscure perhaps 4-6 typical words] tomatoes and Cheddar cheese. Served [22] with house salsa.
::[Footnote 22:] Woke up in Las Vegas. They're closing the Star Trek Experience today. The IHOP up the strip had pancake platters named after various states. None of them sounded like home.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Comics with blood]]
[[Category:Footnotes]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

482: Height

2026-03-31T17:09:35Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 482
| date = September 29, 2008
| title = Height
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = height.png
| titletext = Interestingly, on a true vertical log plot, I think the Eiffel Tower's sides would really be straight lines.
}}
{{TOC}}

==Explanation==
''Height'' uses a {{w|logarithmic scale}} to depict the contents of the {{w|universe}} at progressively smaller distances from Earth (less high above the Earth), starting at the highest possible "point," the edge of the {{w|observable universe}}, going all the way down to the grass beneath our feet. The comic is a direct companion piece to [[485: Depth]], also released on a Monday the week after this one. ''Depth'' similarly uses the logarithmic scale to depict the Earth at progressively greater magnification (going "deeper" down), from Earth's surface (the grass) to the interior of a single proton.

The very top (edge) of the observable universe is described as being 46 billion {{w|light years}} above the Earth. The universe is "only" about {{w|Age of the universe|13.8 billion years old}}, so the {{w|cosmic background radiation}} that reaches the Earth today has also only traveled 13.8 billion light years. However, during that time, {{w|Metric expansion of space|the universe has expanded}}, so the galaxies that formed from that spot where this background radiation was emitted 13.8 billion years ago would now be 46 billion light years away. This has led to many {{w|Observable_universe#Misconceptions_on_its_size|misconceptions regarding the size}}, the most typical being that the radius of the observable universe is "only" 13.8 billion light years. See this video, ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXfhGxZFcVE How Do You Measure the Size of the Universe?]'', for a great explanation of the 46 billion light years.

To the right of the text, [[Black Hat]] stands atop the comic, having just dropped a cat off the edge head first; he is clearly going to test if the cat will land on its feet, being a jerk per his usual character. It will take some time, though, before the cat reaches Earth....

As one scrolls down, the depicted distances become less compressed, until arriving at the surface of Earth, all the while approaching a 1:1 scale with real-life distances. As shown in [[1162: Log Scale]], if [[Randall]] didn't do this, the comic would be much, MUCH longer.

In this comic, most objects that are grounded on Earth are scaled logarithmically on the vertical axes and linearly on the horizontal axes (some are scaled linearly on both axes). Displaying objects in this manner noticeably distorts their shape; the Great Pyramid, for instance, looks not like a pyramid but like a bullet.

Outside of the Earth's atmosphere, the objects are placed at their actual distances from Earth on the log scale, but their shapes are not subjected to the logarithmic scaling of Earth objects, instead appearing as they would be seen (otherwise, round objects like the sun would appear more egg shaped, with the flatter side facing upward). However, objects are still much larger or much smaller than they would be in real life, in order to allow them to be properly seen.

In the title text, Randall muses on how the inwardly-curved sides of the {{w|Eiffel Tower}} might actually become perfectly straightened when subjected to this logarithmic distortion. Although it is shown to bulge in the comic proper, this may be a consequence of Randall's rough art style rather than any reflection of his beliefs. The actual shape of the Tower approximates an {{w|Exponential function|exponential curve}}, which would indeed give a straight line on a log scale, although it was actually designed by {{w|Gustave Eiffel}} to minimize wind resistance rather than to be mathematically exact (the design is so perfect that the amount the Tower sways in the wind is less than the amount it is distorted due to thermal expansion of the sunlit side).

===Objects===
All objects are sorted from bottom to top by their maximum distance from earth for objects in a solar orbit, and their current distance for others.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Distance
! Object
! Description
|-
| 435 ×1024m
| Black Hat and cat
| Black Hat dropping a cat off the top of the comic, presumably to determine whether it will land on its feet.
|-
| 435 ×1024m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | Top of {{w|observable universe}}
|-
| 11.3 ×1024m
| {{w|Hubble Deep Field}} objects
| Objects of extremely distant galaxies found in a long-exposure photograph by of the Hubble telescope, 12 billion light-years away. The rightmost object is probably intended to be a quasar, schematically shown from the side.
|-
| 9.46 ×1024m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | One billion light years
|-
| 3.1 ×1024m
| {{w|Quasar}}
| A supermassive black hole at the center of some young, distant galaxies, the energy released by stuff as it falls into them makes them the brightest known objects, the black hole eventually gets too big so the huge amounts of energy can't escape, but while they're active, they outshine entire clusters of galaxies.
|-
| 2.36 ×1024m
| {{w|Great Attractor}}
| An unusual concentration of intergalactic mass. (It could also just be [[502: Dark Flow|Your Mom]]).
|-
| 425 ×1021m
| {{w|Antennae Galaxies}} (colliding)
| A pair of colliding galaxies.
|-
| 23.6 ×1021m
| {{w|Andromeda Galaxy}}
| A sibling to our Milky Way. It is the nearest spiral galaxy to ours.
|-
| 23.6 ×1021m
| Holy crap lots of space
| There is a lot of {{w|Void (astronomy)|nearly empty space between galaxies}}.
|-
| 9.46 ×1021m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | One million light years
|-
| 2.38 ×1021m
| [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cat-on-a-keyboard-in-space Cat on a keyboard in space]
| An internet meme featuring a picture of a cat sitting on a musical keyboard, superimposed on an image of space.
|-
| 1.56 ×1021m
| {{w|Magellanic Clouds}}
| These clouds are a pair of nearby dwarf galaxies.
|-
| 263 ×1018m
| Edge of Galaxy
| The edge of the {{w|Milky Way}} galaxy, the galaxy in which we reside.
|-
| 245 ×1018m
| {{w|Galactic Center}}
| The center of the Milky Way galaxy.
|-
| 61.5 ×1018m
| {{w|Crab Nebula}}
| Nebula are supernova remnants.
|-
| 14.2 ×1018m
| {{w|Horsehead Nebula}}
| A dark nebula that is part of the Orion Constellation.
|-
| 12.7 ×1018m
| {{w|Orion Nebula}}
| A nebula that is part of the Orion Constellation, just south of Orion's Belt.
|-
| 8.14 ×1018m
| {{w|Rigel}}
| The brightest star in the Orion Constellation, it is actually a triple star system known alternatively as Beta Orionis.
|-
| 6.08 ×1018m
| {{w|Betelgeuse}}
| The star Betelgeuse is displayed along with the location of {{w|Ford_Prefect (character)|Ford Prefect}} on his home planet, which orbits Betelgeuse. Ford Prefect is a fictional character from the science fiction parody {{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}.
|-
| 4.20 ×1018m
| {{w|Pleiades}}
| The Pleiades also have a derogatory remark (for those who do not know how to recognize them), as per [[66: Abusive Astronomy]]. This is probably because they are Randall's favorite astronomical entity as is stated at the very bottom of the [http://www.xkcd.com/about/ about] page on xkcd.
|-
| 2.90 ×1018m
| The [http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Romulan_Neutral_Zone Romulan Neutral Zone]
| This marks the edge of the {{w|Star Trek}} Federation.
|-
| 931 ×1015m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | The first radio broadcast was in January 1910. Since radio waves travel at the speed of light, and this was published in September 2008, the radio waves traveled about 98.5 light years. See {{w|Contact (1997 film)}} for a depiction of this. This is also referenced in [[1212: Interstellar Memes]].
|-
| 350 ×1015m
| {{w|Arcturus}}
| An orange giant star that is part of the Boötes constellation.
|-
| 320 ×1015m
| {{w|Pollux}}
| One of the most distinct stars in the Gemini Constellation, it is large Orange Giant with an apparent visual magnitude of 1.1
|-
| 242 ×1015m
| The edge of {{w|Federation Sector 0-0-1}}
| The sector of space assigned to Earth in {{w|Star Trek}}.
|-
| 224 ×1015m
| {{w|Iraq and weapons of mass destruction|"missing WMDs"}}
| A reference to the alleged weapons of mass destruction that were used as a pretense to mobilize the world population against Iraq and start the Iraq war.
|-
| 81.3 ×1015m
| {{w|Sirius}}
|Also known as Alpha Canis Majoris or the Dog Star, it is actually a binary system of stars consisting of a main sequence white star and a small white dwarf.
|-
| 56.6 ×1015m
| {{w|Barnard's Star}}
| Barnard's Star is a very small red dwarf that is of great interest to astronomers as an achievement in the SIM ({{w|Space Interferometry Mission}}) to find a celestial object out of solar system that is as small as 3 earth masses.
|-
| 41.3 ×1015m
| {{w|Alpha Centauri}}
| Alpha Centauri is the closest star system to our planet.
|-
| 30.9 ×1015m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | One {{w|parsec}} (= 3.26 light-years).
|-
| 9.46 ×1015m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | One {{w|light-year}}.
|-
| 15.0 ×1015m
| {{w|Oort cloud}}
| A halo of ice balls surrounding our solar system, but missing the {{w|Kuiper belt}} between Neptune and the Oort cloud. The Oort cloud is only theorized to exist, with no confirmed direct observations, so Randall has written a question mark (?) next to this region of the graph.
|-
| 350 ×1012m
| {{w|Bupkis}}
| Yiddish for "nothing." Only a handful of objects are known to orbit between the Kuiper Belt and the Oort Cloud.
|-
| 55.0 ×1012m
| A comet that will destroy the Earth in late 2063.
| To coincide with the latest biblically-based prophesy for the [http://www.askelm.com/prophecy/p971105.htm end of the world].
|-
| 19.5 ×1012m
| {{w|Voyager 1}}
| An early space probe. Distance correct as of 20th Nov 2014, click [http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/where/ here] to see NASA's live distance counter.
|-
| 16.7 ×1012m
| {{w|Pioneer 10}}
| Listed distance is an estimate based on {{w|Pioneer_10#Current_status|this information}}.
|-
| 17.7 ×1012m
| {{w|Pioneer 11}}
| By the similarity in appearance to Pioneer 10, this unlabeled probe must be Pioneer 11. Listed distance is an estimate based on {{w|Pioneer_11#Current_status|this information}}.
|-
| 14.5 ×1012m
| {{w|Eris (dwarf planet)|Eris}}
| One of a pair of {{w|Trans-Neptunian object}}s now classified as {{w|dwarf planet}}s. The "All hail Discordia!" after Eris is a reference to {{w|Discordianism}}, a somewhat tongue-in-cheek religion based around the goddess Eris. The distance is the maximum distance from Earth.
|-
| 7.50 ×1012m
| {{w|Pluto}}
| One of a pair of {{w|Trans-Neptunian object}}s now classified as {{w|dwarf planet}}s. Pluto was originally classified as the 9th planet of the Solar system. Many people were appalled when it was suddenly degraded to dwarf planet. Obviously Randall does not think much of these people, thus the comment: ''Not a planet. Neener neener''. The distance is the maximum distance of Pluto from Earth.
|-
| 4.70 ×1012m
| {{w|Neptune}}
| Neptune is displayed here with its moons. Neptune is the eighth and final planet in our solar system.
|-
| 3.20 ×1012m
| {{w|Uranus}}
| Uranus is displayed here with its moons. Uranus is the seventh planet in our solar system.
|-
| 1.67 ×1012m
| {{w|Saturn}}
| Saturn is displayed along with its moons. One of Saturn's moons, most likely {{w|Enceladus}}, is labeled as a potential location to find life. Enceladus was known in 2008 to have a possible subsurface ocean and active geysers, and a paper co-authored by well-known planetary scientist Caroline Porco in Astrobiology during that year (when the comic was published) spelt out the case for searching for life there (McKay et al. 2008 "The Possible Origin and Persistence of Life on Enceladus and Detection of Biomarkers in the Plume," Astrobiology 8(5):909-919). In 2015, the {{w|Cassini probe}} sampled material thought to be from Enceladus' geysers, and scientists have found evidence that its subsurface ocean closely resembles a particular kind of deep sea hydrothermal environment on Earth known to harbor life.

A more distant possibility is that Randall is referencing Saturn's largest (and much more well known moons) {{w|Titan (moon)|Titan}}, the only known moon to have an atmosphere and lakes. It was long predicted that there may be bodies of liquid on the surface filled with liquid methane and ethane (Titan is too cold for liquid water and life as we know it, but ethane and methane remain a liquid at those temperatures). There is some speculation that exotic forms of life based on extremely cold exotic chemistries may form in such conditions, with liquid hydrocarbons playing the role of the solvent (the role water plays in terrestrial life).
|-
| 928 ×109m
| {{w|Jupiter}}
| Jupiter is displayed along with its moons. One of Jupiter's moons, {{w|Europa (moon)|Europa}}, is labeled as a potential location to find life. Europa may be covered by a deep ocean of water found under a layer of ice many kilometers thick. Some hypothesize that life could have formed in such oceans.
|-
| 222 ×109m
| Asteroids
| The {{w|Asteroid|Asteroid belt}} contains a spaceship from {{w|Asteroids (video game)}}
|-
| 133 ×109m
| {{w|Mars}}
| Note the path, reflecting the fact that their distances from Earth vary as the planets move in their orbits with a maximum distance of 401 million km and a minimum of 54.6 million km.
|-
| 114 ×109m
| {{w|Venus}}
| Note the path, reflecting the fact that their distances from Earth vary as the planets move in their orbits with a maximum distance of 261 million km and a minimum of 37.7 million km.
|-
| 138 ×109m
| {{w|Mercury}}
| Mercury is the innermost planet in our solar system. The distance shown is the maximum distance from Earth.
|-
| 149 ×109m
| {{w|Sun}}
| The Sun is the star at the center of our solar system, around which the Earth and the other planets orbit.
|-
| 16.3 ×109m
| {{w|Discovery One}}
| The Discovery One from {{w|2001: A Space Odyssey}}, referring to the quote "open the pod bay door, HAL." Also may be a reference to [[375: Pod Bay Doors]].
|-
| 9.43 ×109m
| Planet Express
| The spaceplane is most likely the Planet Express from {{w|Futurama}}, where Fry once discussed "a big heaping bowl of salt."
|-
| 400 ×106m
| {{w|Apollo_13#cite_ref-130|Human Altitude Record}}
| Achieved by the team of {{w|Apollo 13}} approximately 240 km higher than the remaining Apollo missions.
|-
| 384 ×106m
| {{w|Moon}}
| The Moon is the Earth's only natural satellite.
|-
| 90.4 ×106m
| {{w|Snoop Dogg}}
| A tongue-in-cheek reference to a rapper notorious for smoking marijuana, shown as having the second-highest altitude record. Someone who is taking drugs is said to be getting high.
|-
| 60.5 ×106m
| {{w|Space elevator}}
| A proposed method of transporting cargo or people into orbit, consisting of a large mass beyond geosynchronous orbit, a station at the geosynchronous point, a cable connecting it to the Earth, and a climber that can scale the cable. Space elevators are also seen in [[697: Tensile vs. Shear Strength]] and [[536: Space Elevators]].
|-
| 42.1 ×106m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | {{w|Geosynchronous orbit|Geosynchronous Orbit}}
|-
| 20.2 ×106m
| {{w|GPS (satellite)|GPS Satellites}}
| GPS satellites are used for global positioning.
|-
| 3.94 ×106m
| {{w|Lunar Lander}}
| The quote is a reference to {{w|Contact (1997 film)}}, where the main character Ellie Arroway after witnessing a celestial light show up close says "Poetry! They should've sent a poet."
|-
| 800 ×103m
| {{w|Space debris|Space Junk}}
| There is a large quantity of defunct objects in orbit around the Earth. Amongst other things, this includes old satellites, rocket stages, and fragments from collisions or disintegration. Space junk is also referenced in [[1242: Scary Names]] under the title {{w|Kessler syndrome}}.
|-
| 422.5 ×103m
| {{w|International Space Station}}
| The ISS (International Space Station) is a multinational effort to put a research vessel in space. It is currently the largest artificial object in Earth's orbit, as well as the location of the longest continuous human presence in space.
|-
| 100 ×103m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | The {{w|Edge of space|official edge of space}} as defined by the {{w|Kármán line}}.
|-
| 76.0 ×103m
| {{w|Meteors}}
| Meteors are chunks of rock (usually asteroids) that burn up in the atmosphere, producing the bright light associated with them. If they are large enough to hit the ground, they become meteorites, which is why Munroe labeled them only in the upper atmosphere.
|-
| 25.0 ×103m
| {{w|High-altitude balloon|High-altitude balloons}}
| Unmanned balloons, typically filled with helium or hydrogen. The current altitude record was set in 2002 by a balloon named BU60-1 that reached 53,000m.
|-
| 16.1 ×103m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | 1/10 ATM = 0.1 {{w|Atmospheric pressure|atmosphere of pressure}}
|-
| 12.0 ×103m
| {{w|Airliner|Airliners}}
| This is a typical cruising altitude of jet aircraft, equating to roughly 40,000 feet. (Aircraft altitude tends to be specified in feet rather than metres (yay!?))
|-
| 8.84 ×103m
| {{w|Mount Everest}}
| The Earth's highest mountain, located in the {{w|Himalayas|Himalayan mountain range}} in South Asia.
|-
| 8.00 ×103m
| [[Cory Doctorow]]
| Cory Doctorow is a [[:Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow|recurring theme]] in xkcd. He was first seen in a balloon in [[239: Blagofaire]].
|-
| 6.34 ×103m
| {{w|Space Shuttle Columbia disaster}}
| The {{w|Space Shuttle Columbia}} and its seven-member crew were lost when it disintegrated at [http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=6v16AgAAQBAJ&lpg=PA7&ots=LDKQ3nsNHs&dq=shuttle%20columbia%20altitude&pg=PA7#v=onepage&q=shuttle%20columbia%20altitude&f=false approximately 63,400m] in 2003. This number is inconsistent with the height of the graph by a factor of 10 (probably a mistype by Randall).
|-
| 6.00 ×103m
| {{w|Helicopter}}
| Though the record for helicopter altitude (without payload) is 12,442m, normal flying is usually performed much lower. In the US, 6000m is into {{w|Class A airspace}}, which is restricted and requires flight under {{w|Instrument Flight Rules}}.
|-
| 6.00 ×103m
| {{w|Cloud}}
| Though not actually labeled, there are a couple of clouds shown. While different cloud types vary in height, 6000m is roughly in the middle of the height range for [http://weatherfaqs.org.uk/node/21 clouds in temperate regions].
|-
| 5.49 ×103m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | 1/2 ATM = 0.5 {{w|Atmospheric pressure|atmosphere of pressure}}
|-
| 1.78 ×103m
| [[Cueball]]
| Apparently still using Python as shown in comic [[353: Python]].
|-
| 800 ×100m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | 800 meters
|-
| 800 ×100m
| {{w|Burj Khalifa|Burj Dubai}}
| Now known as the Burj Khalifa, it is the tallest building in the world. This was also a main feature in [[1110: Click and Drag]].
|-
| 500 ×100m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | 500 meters
|-
| 400 ×100m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | 400 meters
|-
| 325 ×100m
| {{w|Eiffel Tower}}
| A famous landmark in Paris, France.
|-
| 300 ×100m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | 300 meters
|-
| 200 ×100m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | 200 meters
|-
| 150 ×100m
| Kite
| Kite string is commonly sold in large spools; a nice thick spool will probably hold 150 meters. Kites are a [[:Category:Kites|recurring theme]] in xkcd; for instance, see [[235: Kite]].
|-
| 140 ×100m
| {{w|Great Pyramid of Giza}}
| One of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. It is located in Egypt.
|-
| 120 ×100m
| {{w|Pop fly}}
| In {{w|Baseball}}, a 'Pop Fly' is when the batter mis-hits the baseball, which then follows a tall arc deep into the infield where it's easy picking for the other team to catch on its way down. The highest recorded pop fly, not including those that landed in foul territory, was 172 meters.
|-
| 115 ×100m
| {{w|Redwood Tree|Redwood trees}}
| The tallest trees in the world. At 115.61 m (379.3 ft), {{w|Hyperion (tree)|Hyperion}}, a Coast Redwood, holds the record for the tallest tree in the world.
|-
| 100 ×100m
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | 100 meters
|-
| 20.0 ×100m
| {{w|Oak}}
| While oaks may grow to be in excess of 40m in height, heights of around 20m are more typical. The person in the tree saying, "Hey, squirrels!" is a reference to [[167: Nihilism]].
|-
| 16.4 ×100m
| Tallest stilts
| The tallest {{w|stilts}} recorded by the Guinness Book of World Records (as of November 2006) were 16.4 meters, or nearly 54 feet. See also [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/8/89/1608_1038x1095y_Hamsterball_and_stilts_room.png these tall stilts] from [[1608: Hoverboard]].
|-
| 13.0 ×100m
| {{w|Brachiosaurus|Brachiosaur}}
| A large genus of dinosaur.
|-
| 8.00 ×100m
| {{w|Giraffe}}
| The tallest living terrestrial animal, with fully grown adults reaching in excess of 5 m. While labeled 8m in the comic, the [http://www.big-animals.com/the-giraffe-the-worlds-tallest-animal/ record] for height is reported at 5.8m. Giraffes have been used by Randall for measuring heights, most prominently in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' ''{{what if|44|High Throw}}''.
|-
| 1.70 ×100m
| {{w|Human height|Folks}}
| Determining an average height of the world population is fraught with complications, but as a ballpark figure, 1.7m is fairly accurate.
|}

==Transcript==
:'''Top of observable universe'''
:[Black Hat is standing on top, throwing a black kitty down.]
:Black Cat: Mrowl!
:[Map of the universe from observable universe to Earth. Each area of item is labeled. Labels left to right, up to down:]
:(46 billion light years up)
::Hubble Deep Field Objects
:-One billion light years-
::Great Attractor
::Antennae Galaxies (colliding)
::Andromeda
::Holy crap lots of space
:-One million light years-
::Magellanic Clouds
::Edge of galaxy
::Galactic center
::Crab Nebula
::Orion Nebula
::Horsehead Nebula
::Romulan neutral zone
::The Pleiades, duh!
::Rigel
::Betelgeuse
::Ford Prefect
:[Three arrows are pointing up above three lines with the following label:]
:-Expanding shell of radio transmissions-
::[Above a dotted line:]
::Edge of federation sector 0-0-1
::Pollux
::Arcturus
::Missing WMDs
::Sirius
::Barnard's Star
::Alpha Centauri
:-One parsec-
:-One light year-
::Oort Cloud (?)
::Bupkis
::Comet which will destroy Earth in late 2063
::Pioneer 10
::Voyager I
::Eris (All hail Discordia!)
::Pluto (Not a planet. Neener neener.)
::Neptune
::Uranus
::Saturn
::[Two arrows point to two moons, one next to each of the planets above and below.]
::<-- Life -->
::Jupiter
::Asteroids
::Mars
::Venus
::Sun
::Mercury
::Spaceship Planet Express: Hey, a heaping bowl of salt!
::Spaceship Discovery One: Open the fridge door, Hal.
::Moon
::Human altitude record (Apollo 13)
::2nd place: Snoop Dogg
::Space elevator - One of these days, promise!
::Geosynchronous Orbit
::GPS satellites
::Lunar lander: In retrospect, they shouldn't have sent a poet. I have no idea how to land.
::International Space Station
::Space junk
:-Official edge of space (100 km)-
::Meteors
:-1/10 ATM-
::High altitude balloons
::Airliners
::Shuttle Columbia lost
:-1/2 ATM-
::Cory Doctrow
::Everest
::Helicopters (6000 m)
::Cueball: Woo Python!
::[A vertical scale is drawn along the right side of the picture, starting at 1 km and getting progressivly smaller and smaller.]
:1 km
:-800 m-
::Burj Dubai (~800 m)
:500
:400
::Eiffel Tower (325 m)
:200
::Kites
::Great Pyramid (140 m)
::Pop fly
::Redwood (115 m)
:100m
::Oak (20 m)
::A person in the oak: Hey squirrels!
::Tallest stilts
::Brachiosaur (13 m)
::Giraffe (8 m)
::[Megan and Cueball holding the kite are labeled:]
::Folks
:'''The observable universe, from top to bottom'''
::~On a log scale~
::Sizes are not to scale, but heights above the Earth's surface are accurate on a log scale. (That is, each step up is double the height.)

==Trivia==
This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20211215032218/https://store.xkcd.com/products/height-poster available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

{{comic discussion}}

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[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
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[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Elevators]] 
[[Category:Baseball]]
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[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Giraffes]]
[[Category:Squirrels]] 
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488: Steal This Comic

2026-03-31T17:09:23Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 488
| date = October 13, 2008
| title = Steal This Comic
| image = steal_this_comic.png
| titletext = I spent more time trying to get an audible.com audiobook playing than it took to listen to the book. I have lost every other piece of DRM-locked music that I ever paid for.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|DRM}}, an acronym standing for Digital Rights Management, is a recent anti-piracy mechanism that is used to prevent unapproved or unintended use of software programs. Examples would be a requirement to play a video game while online (where the servers can validate that the game has not been hacked) or allowing only a limited amount of installations to ensure that different users are buying the program for themselves instead of sharing it. The problem is that there are ways that DRM can be restrictive even upon legal situations. Someone may simply want to play the game in an area where there is no Internet connection, or they may have exceeded the amount of allowed installs due to installation problems or hardware malfunctions requiring the purchase of new hardware. In the audio situation described in the comic, one could not, say, transfer an audiobook or song from an iPod to a Blackberry phone, because Apple does not allow files on its operating system to be used on ones from other companies. For this reason, DRM has also been referred to derisively as [http://www.defectivebydesign.org/ "Digital Restrictions Management"].

[[Black Hat]] uses a [[:Category:Flowcharts|flow chart]] to propose two paths:
*If you pirate the audio, the DRM would necessarily be disabled or removed in order to be available in that fashion. This is in violation of copyright law and is also considered theft in some countries such as the United States, since it avoids payment to the publishers, performers, composers, etc. who created the audio.

*If you buy the DRM-locked audio, you have legally obtained it for use on your device. However, as Black Hat puts it, "things change": the device you have the audio stored on could be lost, stolen, or broken. The device will inevitably get old enough that the company that made it will stop supporting updates for it, and newer software may no longer be compatible with it. In the worst case scenario, [https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/oct/24/apple-samsung-fined-for-slowing-down-phones the device may be sabotaged by the company]. If the DRM prevents the audio from being recovered or transferred from the device or allows [http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2009/jul/17/amazon-kindle-1984 the service providing you with the audio to delete it], you would have to pay for it a second time to re-obtain it legally, which no one wants to do. The only other solution is breaking the DRM to try to recover your collection by force, and Black Hat argues that this is inevitable.

Since both situations have you end up being a criminal, Black Hat proposes taking the pirate path, which leaves you with a collection of dependable audio for free. In the title-text, [[Randall]] gives an anecdote of how ridiculous it was to obtain an audiobook legally, and how all of his other legally-obtained music has been lost, as the flow chart predicts.

In light of this, he proposes another option: demanding DRM-free files.

It's worth noting that there are other methods of listening to music legally that avoid the problems presented in the comic:
*You can purchase a hardcopy of the audio (e.g. a CD). These are then easily ripped to your hard drive and then copied to other devices, plus a physical item can be useful for older sound systems that do not support digital media. However, there are some downsides: higher cost, delayed delivery, necessity of physical storage space, wearing down of the physical device, and in many cases the non-availability of the desired audio in the first place.
*You can decide instead to think of audio as an experience rather than a thing that you own (similar to going to a movie theater). This type of thinking has given rise to music subscription sites, such as {{w|Spotify}}, where instead of owning the music, the listener is paying for continued access to a very large range of music. However this makes the user dependent on the availability of content on the chosen platform, which [https://help.netflix.com/en/node/60541 may be subject to changes], hence Randall specifying "a collection '''you can count on'''".

The title is a reference to the [http://web.archive.org/web/20080913131048/http://www.piracyisacrime.com/ "Piracy is a Crime"] ad campaign, as well as a 1970 pro-anarchy book called ''{{w|Steal This Book}}''. There is also some underlying humor: since xkcd [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/ is under a Creative Commons license], you cannot "steal" the comic, since Randall specifically allowed the comic to be shared. It could also be a reference to ''{{w|Don't Download This Song}}'', a "Weird Al" Yankovic song that amusingly deals with audio piracy.

A note on the site says that [http://www.amazon.com Amazon] sells DRM-free music files. Since this comic was written, iTunes has also stopped using DRM on music, though it still protects apps, e-books, and videos.

This comic is not applicable to some countries, such as Canada, where copyright infringement is purely a civil matter and is not a criminal offense.

In ''[[xkcd: volume 0]]'', [[Beret Guy]] says:
{{quote|Hey, turns out we won this one! Good job, all! Party at my place!}}

==Transcript==
:Black Hat: Thinking of buying from audible.com or iTunes?
:Black Hat: Remember, if you pirate something, it's yours for life. You can take it anywhere and it will always work.
:[There is a flowchart whose paths are (You're a Criminal)<-Pirate<-(Buy or Pirate)->Buy->(Things Change)->(You Try to Recover Your Collection)->(You're a Criminal)]
:Black Hat: But if you buy DRM-locked media, and you ever switch operating systems or new technology comes along, your collection could be lost.
:Black Hat: And if you try to keep it, you'll be a criminal ([https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/17/1201 DMCA 1201]).
:Black Hat: So remember: if you want a collection you can count on, PIRATE IT.
:Black Hat: Hey, you'll be a criminal either way.
:(If you don't like this, demand DRM-free files)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:DRM]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

563: Fermirotica

2026-03-31T17:09:13Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 563
| date = April 1, 2009
| title = Fermirotica
| image = fermirotica.png
| titletext = I love how Google handles dimensional analysis. Stats are ballpark and vary wildly based on time of day and whether your mom is in town.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Fermi problem}}s are a type of estimation problem involving several quantities that are not to be measured but that can be estimated to within an {{w|order of magnitude}} to be inserted into equations relating the quantities to produce an estimate for a target quantity accurate to within an order of magnitude, based upon the assumption that overestimations and underestimations of the magnitude of the input quantities will compensate for each other in the resulting estimated quantity. {{w|Erotica}} is material meant to cause sexual arousal in a person. "Fermirotica", then, is erotica made from the solving of a Fermi problem.

In the comic, [[Cueball]] is solving the Fermi problem of finding the average distance from the observer wherein a couple can be found copulating. (The example parameters given in the comic yield 139 metres.) The implication of the equation is that we are surrounded by sex in our everyday lives and that this is arousing to [[Cueball]].

Nevertheless, we rarely encounter couples during the act itself.{{citation needed}} In this way, the comic may also be referencing the {{w|Fermi paradox}} in that the calculation suggests that the observer is highly likely to be surrounded by copulation but, paradoxically, never observes it. This is similar to the Fermi paradox which suggests that extraterrestrial life (i.e. space aliens) should be commonplace in our universe yet humanity has yet to discover the presence of extraterrestrial life. Of course, the lack of empirical evidence of couples having sex can easily be explained by the fact that most couples only have intercourse in privacy. By the same token, the original problem may be explained thusly: Alien species might conceal themselves from our observations, e.g. in order to {{w|Prime directive|avoid interfering in the development of civilizations}}. This answer to the Fermi Paradox is commonly called {{w|zoo hypothesis}}.

The second panel has [[Cueball]] sexually aroused by imagining the intercourse that has been determined to be statistically nearby. This manner of arousal is termed ''statistical {{w|voyeurism}}'' by an off-frame speaker who is evidently upset by it. Possible reasons for being upset are that he considers it an inappropriate use of statistics, or finds voyeurism inappropriate in general, or because it accurately predicts an ''actual'' copulation he is aware of and would rather keep private (e.g. the off-frame speaker is actually about to have sex).

The title text refers to the {{w|Google search#calculator|Google calculator}} and praises its capabilities of {{w|dimensional analysis}}, and more specifically {{w|unit conversion}}. [[Randall]] assumes that most readers will enter the equation with the example parameters into the {{w|Google}} search engine. The built-in calculator will output the result in the correct {{w| SI unit}} ''metre'', although the population density was given as ''people per square mile''. The second part of the title text states that the examples are nothing more than an educated guess, and that the equation is simplified. In reality, more parameters must be taken into account, e.g. the time of day, since most people will have sex in the evening or night. The insulting{{citation needed}} suggestion that the probability of sex rises when the reader's (supposedly promiscuous) mother is in town represents a ''{{w|Yo Mama joke}}''.

Note that this comic was released on April 1st without being an April Fools' Day comic. But Randall made another April Fool on his reader, see the [[#Trivia|trivia section]].

==Transcript==
:[A formula is shown with the variables explained above:]
:Pd Regional population density (e.g. 18,600/mi²)
:Xf Average person's frequency of sex (e.g. 80/year)
:Xd Average duration of sex (e.g. 30 minutes)
:r=sqrt(2/(π*Pd*Xf*Xd))
:On average, someone within distance r of you is having sex.

:[Cueball standing in front of an easel.]
:Cueball: Mmm, That probable couple 150 meters away is so hot. Oh yeah, theoretically work it, baby.
:From out of frame: Hey! No statistical voyeurism!

==Trivia==
This comic was released on April 1 with no obvious ties to {{w|April Fools' Day}} and is thus not one of [[Randall]]'s [[April Fools' Day comics]]. But, on that day, Randall, Jeph Jacques, and Ryan North altered their {{w|Domain_Name_System|DNS}} records to point to each others' websites. So xkcd.com showed the [http://questionablecontent.net/ Questionable content] website, questionablecontent.net the [http://www.qwantz.com/ Dinosaur comics] website, and www.qwantz.com led to the [http://www.xkcd.com xkcd] website.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Aliens]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

577: The Race: Part 1

2026-03-31T17:09:04Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 577
| date = May 4, 2009
| title = The Race: Part 1
| image = the_race_part_1.png
| titletext = Great, and you JUST finished paying off the settlement over the Wayne Coyne hamster ball incident.
}}

==Explanation==
This is possibly a continuation of [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]]. ''{{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}}'' was a television series aired by Fox in 2002 that got cancelled mid-way through, but it has a large fan base nowadays (for a more comprehensive explanation, see the Wikipedia page). The star of the show was Captain Malcolm (or Mal) Reynolds, played by [[Nathan Fillion]]. So, in this comic, [[Megan]] tells [[Cueball]] that Nathan Fillion has an electric skateboard. [[Cueball]] immediately starts planning a trip to visit and race Nathan Fillion. Electric skateboards have been the subject of several other comics like [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]], [[409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)]] and a panel in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]].

The title text refers to an earlier comic [[211: Hamster Ball Heist]], where [[Cueball]] kidnaps Wayne Coyne in his hamster ball.

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday to Friday) and not over the usual schedule of three comics a week. These are all the comics in [[:Category:The Race|The Race series]]:
* [[577: The Race: Part 1]]
* [[578: The Race: Part 2]]
* [[579: The Race: Part 3]]
* [[580: The Race: Part 4]]
* [[581: The Race: Part 5]]

==Transcript==
:Megan: Huh, cool. Nathan Fillion (Mal from Firefly) has an electric skateboard. Just like you!

:[Cueball leaves the room.]

:Megan: Did you hear that? Nathan-
:Sounds from off-screen: ''Ratchet Zip Buckle''

:[Cueball returns wearing helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, sunglasses and holding his electric skateboard.]
:Cueball: I heard. Gimme the computer. I need to book a flight.

:[Caption in a black frame at the bottom of the last panel:]
:To be continued...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:The Race]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|The Race]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nathan Fillion]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Electric skateboard]]
[[Category:Hamster balls]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

578: The Race: Part 2

2026-03-31T17:08:53Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 578
| date = May 5, 2009
| title = The Race: Part 2
| image = the_race_part_2.png
| titletext = The Hammer + Captain Tightpants == Captain Hammerpants?
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}}'' was a television series aired by {{w|Fox Broadcasting Company|Fox}} in 2002. The star of the show was {{w|Malcolm Reynolds|Captain Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds}}, played by {{w|Nathan Fillion}}. Megan tries to play the rational card, and insist that the characters of major TV shows must get tired of fans' never-ending need to see them playing that character, and never being themselves. Nathan Fillion, however, appears to miss the days of ''Firefly'' so much that he spends his time reenacting his role as Malcolm at home. In the fourth panel Cueball suggests they race for charities, which would mean the winner gets to donate the prize money to their charity of choice. In the fifth panel Fillion, takes the phrase and twists it to mean that the winner gets the charity. This is why Cueball says the confused line "Come again?"

Electric skateboards have been the subject of several other comics like [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]], [[409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)]] and a panel in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]].

The title text refers both to Mal being referred to by Kaylee as "Captain Tightpants" in the episode {{w|Shindig (Firefly)|"Shindig"}}, and to Captain Hammer, a superhero played by Nathan Fillion in ''{{w|Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog}}'', another series created by {{w|Joss Whedon}}. "Hammerpants" may also be a reference to the odd, puffy parachute pants worn by 1990s rapper MC Hammer.

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday to Friday) and not over the usual schedule of three comics a week. These are all the comics in [[:Category:The Race|The Race series]]:
* [[577: The Race: Part 1]]
* [[578: The Race: Part 2]]
* [[579: The Race: Part 3]]
* [[580: The Race: Part 4]]
* [[581: The Race: Part 5]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball with skateboard and gear and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: "Why race him?" He's ''Captain Reynolds!''
:Megan: Mr. Fillion is an actor. Firefly was years ago.

:[They go over to a computer; Cueball is using a phone and presumably looking up a phone number.]
:Megan: He has his own life to live, and I'm sure the last thing he wants to do is indulge a fan by playing Mal for him.

:Meanwhile...
:[Nathan Fillion is standing in front of a mirror in a trenchcoat.]
:Nathan: (into the mirror) Name's Captain Reynolds, ma'am. *ahem* Name's Captain Reynolds, ma'am.
:Someone offpanel: Nathan? Telephone!
:Nathan: That's ''Captain!''
:Someone offpanel: Fine, Captain Nathan.
:Nathan: No, use my '''space''' name!
:Someone offpanel: *sigh*

:[Nathan and Cueball talk on the phone.]
:Cueball: So, how about we race for charities?

:Nathan: Sure. Always did want a charity of my own.

:Cueball (between panels): Come again?

:Nathan: You know, boxes in supermarkets collecting food. 'Course, ought to tack up a list sayin' which wines I like best...

:Cueball: Uh, that's not quite—
:Nathan (over the phone): Listen, I'm the captain here.
:Cueball: ...I just got goosebumps when you said that.

:Nathan: Yeah, happens to me too whenever I get captainy. I cut such a strapping figure.
:Nathan: Buckle! Swash!
:Nathan: All right, let's do this race.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:The Race]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|The Race]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nathan Fillion]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Electric skateboard]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

579: The Race: Part 3

2026-03-31T17:08:45Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 579
| date = May 6, 2009
| title = The Race: Part 3
| image = the_race_part_3.png
| titletext = No, the best things about The Sarah Connor Chronicles were: (1) watching Sarah and Cameron try to pass for normal, and (2) Cameron throwing people and things through walls. Everything else was pretty secondary.
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}}'' was a television series aired by Fox in 2002 that got cancelled midway through, but it has a large fan base nowadays. The star of the show was Captain Malcolm (or Mal) Reynolds, played by [[Nathan Fillion]]. Other members of his crew were Kaylee (played by [[Jewel Staite]]), the ship's mechanic, Inara Serra (played by {{w|Morena Baccarin}}) was a Companion (or, as Mal would say: whore) that helped ''Serenity'' (the spaceship) gain a landing on many planets that otherwise would have nothing to do with Mal. River Tam (played by [[Summer Glau]]) was the seemingly crazy younger sister of Dr. Simon Tam (played by {{w|Sean Maher}}), and due to her latent psionic powers and the damage from the experiments she had undergone, she was known for making odd, out-of-context statements. Randall is a fan of ''Firefly'', and makes reference to it (and Summer Glau in particular) in various other comics - see under 'Categories' below.

When [[Cueball]] is introduced to the first two women, he learns that they behave in real life as on the Firefly show (Summer is strange and Jewel is a mechanical wizard) - this is why he begins to ask about Morena Baccarin, and also why the other two say "No." before he can finish the question "Is she really a ''prostitute''?". In the last panel, Kaylee apparently wired-up Mal's controller to broadcast on the frequency of Cueball's skateboard, so it took control of his board, where Mal's stood still. (Buy a few RC models ({{w|Radio-controlled model}}) to play with friends and inevitably this will happen. Where two controllers broadcast on the same frequency, so the two models are confused by the signals they receive.)

''{{w|Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles}}'' was a television series aired by Fox from 2008-09. Summer Glau played the role of Cameron, a Terminator; Cameron was played in a distinctly "strange" manner as a humanoid robot who finds much about humanity puzzling. Combined with her role as River Tam, the joke is that it wasn't Summer's characters who were eccentric, but that Summer Glau ''herself'' is actually just as strange and eccentric as she is shown to be on screen. Electric skateboards have been the subject of several other comics like [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]], [[409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)]] and a panel in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]].

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday to Friday) and not over the usual schedule of three comics a week. These are all the comics in [[:Category:The Race|The Race series]]:
* [[577: The Race: Part 1]]
* [[578: The Race: Part 2]]
* [[579: The Race: Part 3]]
* [[580: The Race: Part 4]]
* [[581: The Race: Part 5]]

==Transcript==
:[Nathan, Cueball, and Summer Glau standing around with electric skateboards.]
:Nathan: Meet a few of my friends. This is-
:Cueball: Summer Glau! You were the best part of ''Chronicles''.

:Summer: I eat my bodyweight in food every 31 days. That's slightly faster than the human average.

:[Summer stares off into space.]

:Nathan: Yeah, there's a reason she only plays strange roles.
:Cueball: Ah.
:Summer (from below): I'm part of the floor now.

:[They find Jewel Staite working on a skateboard's engine.]
:Nathan: And this is Kaylee.
:Jewel: My name is Jewel, Nathan.

:Nathan: Kaylee—
:Jewel: ''Jewel''.
:Nathan: —Jewel is fixin' up my new board.
:Jewel: Almost done!

:Cueball: So wait. Summer's actually weird, Jewel's actually a mechanical whiz...

:Cueball: ...will Morena Baccarin be here? Is she really a—
:Nathan and Jewel: No.

:The racers set up
:[Nathan and Jewel are to the far left of a full-width panel. Nathan is standing on his skateboard holding a controller. Cueball is on his skateboard which is careening out of control on the far right of the panel.]
:Nathan: Kaylee, I've been gunnin' the radio hand throttle thingy for a while, but it ain't movin'.
:Jewel: Oh, I must've set it to the wrong frequency!
:Cueball (riding around on haywire board): ''AAAAAAAA''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:The Race]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|The Race]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nathan Fillion]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Jewel Staite]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Summer Glau]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Electric skateboard]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

580: The Race: Part 4

2026-03-31T17:08:35Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 580
| date = May 7, 2009
| title = The Race: Part 4
| image = the_race_part_4.png
| titletext = Things are rarely just crazy enough to work, but they're frequently just crazy enough to fail hilariously.
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}}'' was a television series aired by {{w|Fox Broadcasting Company|Fox}} in 2002, but it was canceled after only fourteen episodes had been produced. Over ten years later, it still has a devoted fan base, apparently including [[Randall]]. The main characters were the crew of the spaceship "Serenity", including Captain Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds ({{w|Nathan Fillion}}), mechanical genius Kaywinnet Lee "Kaylee" Frye ([[Jewel Staite]]), the apparently insane psychic River Tam ([[Summer Glau]]), and six others not mentioned in this comic. Nathan Fillion appeared naked at the beginning and end of the show's eleventh episode, "Trash", after having been stripped of all his weapons, equipment, and clothes in a desert. [[Cueball]] is mentally overloaded by this image (either aroused or repulsed it is hard to say) to the extent that he misses the start signal.

Worried about his pursuer, Nathan wants to perform a {{w|Crazy Ivan}}, an emergency maneuver used by the crew of ''Serenity'' in the pilot episode of the series to escape the hot pursuit of a Reaver ship. It involves a 180° spin turn followed by rapid acceleration towards (and hopefully past) the pursuer, which does not have the ability to make such a rapid turn. In a ''Firefly''-class vessel, it is performed by temporarily reversing the direction of thrust of one of the two atmospheric engines, achieved by physically rotating the engine nacelle. The name of the maneuver is taken from the antics of {{w|USSR|Soviet}} submarines in trying to detect (not to evade) enemy submarines hiding in the sonar blind-spot directly behind their vessel. In reality, sharp turns suffice for this purpose; it is not necessary to completely reverse direction. The name entered popular culture after being used in the movie ''{{w|The Hunt for Red October (film)|The Hunt For Red October}}''.

Nathan appears to understand exactly what will happen. He asks Jewel to "override the remote {{w|differential (mechanical device)|differential}}", implying that the two driven wheels could then be powered in opposite directions, causing a spin-turn. As Jewel points out, this will be unlikely to have the intended effect. Nathan is much heavier than his vehicle, and he is not securely attached to it. Momentum is his enemy. Even if it were successful, it would be utterly pointless, because he would find himself heading away from the finish line. Cueball is only pursuing him with the intent to overtake him, and the Crazy Ivan guarantees that this will happen.

Summer Glau is often a target of sexual attraction for her appearance and her well-known, eccentric characters. River Tam, in the movie ''{{w|Serenity (2005 film)|Serenity}}'', had subconscious programming that caused her to be able to take on dozens of foes in hand-to-hand combat, and her Terminator character in ''The Sarah Connor Chronicles'' also regularly beat on men far larger than her, which, for many, just adds to the attraction. Thus, even as Summer fells him with a devastating kick to the face, Cueball is incredibly aroused. Electric skateboards have been the subject of several other comics like [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]], [[409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)]] and a panel in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]].

The title text refers to a common ability in fiction for characters to produce an idea that is 'just crazy enough to work'. In real-life situations (such as an electric skateboard race), people are rarely able to come up with an idea that is just out-of-the-ordinary enough to work perfectly, and in their attempts to do so, will come up with an idea that will instead absolutely fail to work (and make them look like fools to boot).

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday to Friday) and not over the usual schedule of three comics a week. These are all the comics in [[:Category:The Race|The Race series]]:
* [[577: The Race: Part 1]]
* [[578: The Race: Part 2]]
* [[579: The Race: Part 3]]
* [[580: The Race: Part 4]]
* [[581: The Race: Part 5]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Nathan Fillion are ready on the start line on their electric skateboards.]
:Voice off panel: On your mark...

:Voice: Get set...
:Nathan: Remember episode 11, when I got all naked in that desert?

:Voice: Go!
:[Nathan speeds away leaving Cueball standing at the start line.]

:Voice: ...I said "Go."
:Voice: Someone throw some water on him.
:Cueball: Can't...get it...out of my head...

:[Nathan on walkie talkie, speeding on his skateboard.]
:Nathan: He's right behind me. Kaylee, I'm gonna try a Crazy Ivan.
:Jewel [on walkie talkie] ([[579]] shows Nathan's naming confusion): That doesn't make any sense, Nathan.
:Nathan: Trust me.

:Jewel: No, I mean it's not a skateboard maneuver. The concept doesn't even apply to this situation.
:Nathan [via walkie talkie]: That's why it ''just might work!''
:Jewel: No, that's the ''opposite'' of true!

:Nathan: On my mark, override the remote differential and throw her into a spin.
:Jewel [via walkie talkie]: okay, but—
:Nathan: Mark!
:''WHAM''

:[Nathan lying injured on the ground next to his skateboard, Cueball cruises past.]
:''Whirrrrrrrr''

:[Nathan, trying to stand up.]
:Nathan: I'm down. Tell Summer "The chickens are in the hayloft. Plan Gamma is a go."

:[Nathan, one foot on skateboard, looking at walkie talkie.]
:''mumbling from walkie talkie''
:Jewel: She says, "Plan gamma acknowledged. The meerkats are in the bag.
:[Summer Glau is walking off panel.]

:Jewel [to walkee talkie]: So we're good?
:Nathan: Hard to tell with her. Do you see an actual bag of meerkats?
:Jewel: No.
:Nathan: Then we're probably good.

:[Cueball screeching to a halt as he sees Summer Glau.]
:Cueball: Oh! Hi, Miss Glau! I'd love to talk, but Nathan's back on his feet and catching up.

:[Summer grabs Cueball's arm.]
:''Grab''
:Cueball: Wha—

:[Summer kicks Cueball in the face whilst pulling his arm towards her, he flies off his skateboard.]

:[Summer walking away as Cueball lies crippled on the floor with his sunglasses beside him.]

:[Cueball still lying on the floor.]

:Cueball [thinking]: I've never been so turned on in my life.

== Trivia ==
* xkcd's own transcript for this episode is quite wrong, and words like {{Wiktionary|maneuver}} are spelled incorrectly.
* The premise of The Race is that Fillion is too wrapped up in the character of Reynolds and his own portrayal of him to accept the cancellation of the series, which is why he takes the fan up on the race; to aid this conceit, he insists he be called "Mal", but while in this episode he refers to Staite as "Kaylee", he calls Glau "Summer", not "River". Other xkcd episodes about Summer Glau portray her in Randall's imagining as similarly quirky in real life to the way her characters are perceived, so it might be a reference to that.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:The Race]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|The Race]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nathan Fillion]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Jewel Staite]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Summer Glau]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Electric skateboard]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

645: RPS

2026-03-31T17:08:19Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 645
| date = October 5, 2009
| title = RPS
| image = rps.png
| titletext = It looks good, but it needs more postfixins.
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Reverse Polish notation}}'' is a method of writing mathematical expressions, where operators are after their operands, not between.

For example, 2 + 2 becomes <code>2 2 +</code>, and (2 × 2) ÷ 3 becomes <code>2 2 * 3 /</code>. This comic plays on that, by placing a Polish Sausage (a North American term for {{w|Kielbasa}}) after both halves of the bun instead of between.

The title text is a pun on the fact that ''Reverse Polish Notation'' is also known as ''Postfix notation''. "Fixins" is a Southern US slang for condiments such as mustard, chopped onions, and more. The slang is derived from how you "fix" up, or prepare, your food item whenever you have items that can be customized per person after being cooked.

The news section for this comic says "''Comic today's you confuses {{w|Reverse Polish notation|here}} click if''", which is also written in some kind of reverse polish notation and would be "''If today's comic confuses you, click {{w|Reverse Polish notation|here}}''" in proper English. The link in "here" brings you to the Wikipedia page for Reverse Polish notation.

==Transcript==
:[A sausage with mustard is sitting to the right of an empty bun.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:Reverse Polish Sausage
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Logic]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

657: Movie Narrative Charts

2026-03-31T17:08:02Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 657
| date = November 2, 2009
| title = Movie Narrative Charts
| image = movie_narrative_charts.png
| titletext = In the LotR map, up and down correspond LOOSELY to northwest and southeast respectively.
}}
A larger version of this image can be found [http://xkcd.com/657/large/ here].

==Explanation==

{{spoiler|If you do not wish to read spoilers for Lord of The Rings, Star Wars, Jurassic Park, and Primer, please do not read further.}}
These charts show movie character interactions. The horizontal axis is time. The vertical grouping of the lines indicates which characters are together at a given time.
=== {{w|Lord_of_the_Rings_film_trilogy|''Lord of the Rings'' Trilogy}} ===
A mass of colored lines weaves back and forth across the chart, representing various characters. Sauron is represented by a red bar at the bottom contained within a huge black bar with branches, that in turn represents his army of nazgul, orcs, etc. Major locations (Moria) and plot points (the breaking of the fellowship) are marked. Gandalf, especially at the beginning, jumps all over the map in a short time. Eagles appear and then disappear a couple of times. Treebeard's line is flat except for the march to Isengard. At the end, the ship to the West drifts off into a corner. The hobbits start off in the top left with Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin with Bilbo with them for a short time because of the party at the beginning. They go off on their adventure and briefly encounter Gandalf. They are then split up for a short time but meet back up at Weathertop when the Nazgul attack and they meet Aragorn (Strider at that point). They meet up with the rest of what becomes the fellowship of the ring at the council of Elrond at Rivendell. The newly formed fellowship must then venture into the mines of Moria which is referenced in comic [[760]] and comic [[1218]]. After encountering the Balrog and the later death of Boromir the fellowship splits up. Frodo and Sam take the ring and go off on their own to destroy it and sneak into Mordor with the help of Gollum. Merry and Pippin are captured by the Uruk-hai but escape while the Uruk-hai battle Eomer and his army. Eomer and his army then briefly unite with Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn while Merry and Pippin find Treebeard and flood Isengard. While Merry, Pippin and Treebeard are flooding Isengard, Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas fight at Helm's Deep with Gandalf and Eomer and Theoden. Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas go to wake the army of the dead while Pippin goes with Gandalf and Merry goes with the Rohirrim. All of these people rejoin for the battle of the Pelennor fields where Eowyn kills the witch king after Theoden dies along with Denethor. The orcs, men and oliphants are all destroyed and Aragorn releases the army of the dead. All the surviving members of that battle go to the Black Gate except Eowyn and Faramir. Sam and Frodo destroy the Ring, Gollum dies and everyone who is still alive is there for Aragorn's coronation. Everyone goes back to their respective homes except for Frodo, Gandalf, Elrond, Galadriel, and Bilbo who get on a ship to the west.

As the title text points out, most of the plot of The Lord of The Rings occurs on a rough northwest to southeast axis, with the Fellowship of the Ring traveling from the Shire near the top of chart to Mordor at the bottom of the chart (and back again.) The most significant exception to the northwest-southeast axis is the area of the chart between "The Breaking of the Fellowship" and "Isengard Flooded." Helm's Deep and Isengard are southwest from the overall northwest-southeast axis of the movies.

=== {{w|Star_Wars|''Star Wars'' (original Trilogy)}} ===
Luke, mostly accompanied by R2-D2, joins and parts from other sets of characters. There's a dotted alternative path on Jabba's line for the special edition. A dark line representing Vader, travels through the duel where he kills Obi-Wan and proceeds to the Death Star to meet with the main charcters for the first time. Vader travels to Hoth where all the characters escape and goes to Cloud City where Han is frozen. He then duels Luke before going for a long time alone and confronts Luke for a short time before taking him to the Death Star II where the climatic duel happens and he is killed. Leia at first with C-3PO is captured and placed on the Death Star before being rescued and proceeds to Hoth, Cloud City, the Sail Barge and finally to the Battle of Endor before reuniting with all the survivors. R2D2 and C-3PO are mostly together save for when Luke is attacking the Death Star and Luke's Jedi training. Luke's line swerves through most of the scenes, breaking away from the other characters during the Jedi Training, the duel on Cloud City and the duel on the Death Star II. Han and Chewie are always together as they go through all the scenes. Greedo, Lando and Boba all appear in their respective scenes. Yoda appears about halfway through (where Luke's Jedi training is marked). All the surviving lines group up at Endor except for Vader, the Emperor, Luke, and Lando; after the climactic duel, the latter two join the rest.

=== {{w|Jurassic_Park_(film)|''Jurassic Park''}} ===
The human characters are in black; dinosaurs are in red. Dilophosaurus appears briefly to devour Nedry and then fades out again. the T-Rex appears at the start and swoops down on the cars and eats Gennaro. It then weaves out until the end where it eats the raptors. The three raptors are together at the beginning, but split up about halfway through. One has a dotted portion of line between "locked up" and "escapes." In the meantime, they cut off the lines of Arnold and Muldoon. Malcolm, Grant, Sattler, Hammond and the kids all weave in and out of their respective scenes. The raptor lines all end when t-rex's swoops down to meet them at the end, and all the surviving humans leave together. At the beginning Grant, and Sattlers Lines swap in an apparent error.

=== {{w|12 Angry Men (1957 film)|''12 Angry Men''}} ===
This is a very famous film that tells the story of a jury made up of 12 men as they deliberate the guilt or innocence of a defendant on the basis of reasonable doubt. Only one of these angry men believe the defendant may be innocent and he argues this against the other 11, eventually convincing them that there is reasonable doubt in the case.

The lines are labeled Juror 1 through Juror 12. They are all perfectly horizontal and parallel.

The joke in the 12 Angry Men graphic is that in the movie all 12 jurors (the angry men) are in the same room for the entire duration of the movie. They never move and they all always interact with each other, hence their lines stay straight and close to each other.

This is actually not entirely accurate. The movie begins in the court room; a couple of times during the proceedings, a few jurors go into the washroom and have a brief discussion there; and finally, in the very last scene, two jurors have a brief exchange in front of the courthouse. In fact, this chart would actually become a useful reference to the film if each of the jury's votes sessions was shaded as battles/events, and each juror's vote shown on their line, tracking when each juror's vote switches from 'guilty' to 'not guilty'. But as far as the characters' locations, there is no need for such a narrative chart, and that is the joke.

=== {{w|Primer_(film)|''Primer''}} ===
The last box is a movie called ''Primer'' from 2004, which became a cult classic. It is about a group of engineers who discover a way to travel through time, but only in one direction (backwards) and only at the speed of regular time (i.e. you have to stay in the time machine for one hour to move an hour back in time). Because of this, the story ends up having multiple versions of the same person existing at the same time; the plot and time-travel mechanics are notoriously hard to follow, so that it is almost impossible to figure out where each character is at one time, as the comic illustrates.
Three lines start on the left labeled Abe, Aaron, and Granger. They enter a mass of scribbling. Somewhere vaguely towards the end, three lines emerge and fade out, all labeled with question marks.
The chart for ''Primer'' is referenced in the title text of the fourth image in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' ''{{what if|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}''.

=== Background ===

These charts are a reference to "''[https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Minard.png Napoleon's March],''" the map and statistical infographic by cartographic pioneer
{{w|Charles Joseph Minard}}. It details the movements and losses of Napoleon's troops on his failed conquest of Russia. The size and location of Napoleon's army are represented by tapering streams similar to the design used for Sauron's and Saruman’s troops in the LotR Chart. Minard's chart is extensively discussed by {{w|Edward Tufte}} in his book ''The Visual Display of Quantitative Information'', and he summarizes some of that [https://www.edwardtufte.com/minards-sources/ on his website].

[[File:Minard.png|Napoleon's March by Minard]]

==Transcript==

[colors given approximately in HEX at first appearance]

These charts show movie character interactions.
The horizontal axis is time. The vertical grouping of the
lines indicate which characters are together at a given time.

=== Lord of the Rings ===

Lord of the Rings

====[Legend]====
[yellow line (fff500)] ring

[thin line, here dark green (467120)] ringbearer

[grey colored area (e9e9e9)] battle/event

[line ending with a dot, here black] death

[bar, here light brown (daccae)] army

[line, here brown (9d7929), in a bar, here light brown] character leading army

[grey line (b7bfb6)] wizards

[brown line (9d7929)] men

[blue line (4a89a8)] elves

[dark brown line (6c411b)] dwarves

[dark turquoise line, 143035] ents

[green line (4e7629)] hobbits

'''[signs and colors not explained by the legend]'''
*[line starting / ending with a little sun means appearance / disappearance]
*[dark grey line (Eagles)]

====[Entering and leaving of characters] ====

'''[Characters entering the chart on the left, from top to bottom]'''
*Merry [green line]
*Pippin [green line]
*Sam [green line]
*Frodo [green line]
*Bilbo [green line]
*Gandalf [grey line, disappearance and reappearance marked by the sun-symbol]
*Arwen [blue line]
*Elrond [blue line]
*Galadriel [blue line]
*Saruman [grey line]
*Wormtongue [brown line]
*Éomer [brown line]
*Théoden [brown on light brown bar]
*Éowyn [brown line]
*Boromir [brown line on light brown bar]
*Denethor [brown line on light brown bar]
*Faramir [brown line]
*Sauron [red line (a23939) on black bar]

'''[Characters leaving the chart on the right side, from top to bottom]'''

[The five characters leaving off the top border of the chart]

*Frodo
*Gandalf
*Bilbo
*Elrond
*Galadriel

[text next to the group of five] Ship to the West

[other characters leaving on the right side]

*Merry
*Pippin
*Sam
*Treebeard [dark turquoise line]
*Legolas [blue]
*Gimli [dark brown line]
*Éomer
*Arwen
*Aragorn [brown line]
*Éowyn
*Faramir

''' [characters starting or leaving in the middle the chart] '''
*Nazgûl [black line, emerging from the black bar of Sauron's army, disappearance and reappearance marked by the sun-symbol. Second appearance splits splitting in two branches. Both end with death.]
*Aragorn [brown line, emerging via a dotted line]
*Legolas [blue line, emerging via a dotted line]
*Gimli [dark brown line, emerging via a dotted line]
*Eagles [dark grey line (808080), emerging and vanishing twice via a dotted line (second time after splitting into two branches)]
*Uruk-Hai [black bar, two groups emerging out of Saruman's line]
*Gandalf [grey line, disappearance and reappearance marked by the sun-symbol]
*Dead [light green bar, emerging out of nothing, lead by Aragorn, disappearance marked by the sun-symbol]
*Ents [grey bar, emerging out of nothing, lead by Treebeard]
*Men&Oliphaunts [black bar, emerging out of nothing]
*Elves [light blue bar (b3cdda), emerging near the line of Galadriel]
*Gollum [dark green line, emerging via a dotted line]
*Treebeard [dark turquoise line, emerging via a dotted line]

==== [List of battles/events as displayed in the chart] ====

*Bilbo’s party [joined by] Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo, Bilbo, Gandalf [ring goes from Bilbo to Frodo]

*Gandalf imprisioned [joined by] Gandalf, Saruman, Eagles

*Weathertop [joined by] Nazgûl, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo with the ring, Aragorn |

*Council of Elrond [including] Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo with the ring, Aragorn, Bilbo, Elrond, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, Boromir

*Moria [including] Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo with the ring, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf [disappearance], Boromir

*Breaking of the Fellowship [including] Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo with the ring, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir [death], Uruk-Hai [black]

*Hobbits escape [including] Éomer, Merry, Pippin, Uruk-Hai [death]

*Helm’s Deep [including] Éomer, Gandalf, Elves [death], Uruk-Hai [death], Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Théoden

*Isengard flooded [including] Treebeard [with bar of ents-army in grey], Merry, Pippin, Saruman [death], Wormtongue [death]

*Pelennor fields [including] Aragon [with bar of Dead-army in light green (bbcbad)], Legolas, Gimli, Merry, Éomer, Éowyn, Pippin, Gandalf [with bar in light brown], Faramir, Men&Oliphaunts [death], Orcs [death], Nazgûl [death and disappearing], Théoden [death], Denethor [death]

*Black gate [including] Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Merry, Éomer, Pippin, Gandalf [with bar in light brown], Orcs [death], Eagles, Nazgûl [death] [this battle/event-area is joined with ring destroyed-area]

*Ring destroyed [including] Sam, Frodo, Gollum [death], Sauron [death], Nazgûl [death] [this battle/event-area is joined with Black Gate-area]

*Aragorn crowned king [including] Arwen, Elrond, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Merry, Éomer [without army], Pippin, Gandalf [without army], Éomyn, Faramir, Sam, Frodo

=== Star Wars (original trilogy) ===

Star Wars (original trilogy)

====[Entering and leaving of characters] ====

'''[Characters entering the chart on the left, from top to bottom]'''

*Vader [black line]
*Leia [grey line]
*R2-D2 [blue line]
*C-3P0 [yellow line]
*Obi-Wan [grey line]
*Luke [grey line]
*Han [grey line]
*Chewie [brown line]
*Jabba [green line]

'''[Characters leaving the chart on the right side, from top to bottom]'''

*Luke
*Lando [grey line]
*Chewie
*Leia
*R2-D2
*C-3PO
*Han

''' [Characters starting or leaving not in battle/event-areas and not on the left/right side of the chart] '''

*Greedo [green line]
*Jabba Special edition [green dotted line, marking an alternative way for Jabba that unites after a little loop with Jabba main line].
*Yoda [green line, death also marked on the chart but not marked in an battle/event-area]
*Boa Fett [green line]
*Empperor [black]

==== [List of battles/events as displayed in the chart] ====

*Leia rescued [including] Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, Obi-Wan, R2-D2, C-3PO

*Duel [first] [including] Vader, Obi-Wan [death]

*Death Star [including] Vader, Luke, R2-D2, Han, Chewie

*Hoth [including] Vader, Luke, Han, R2-D2, Chewie, Leia, C-3PO

*Luke's entire Jedi training [including] Yoda, Luke, R2-D2

*Han frozen [including] Boba Fett, Vader, Han, Chewie, Leia, C-3PO, Lando

*Duel [second] [including] Luke, Vader

*Sail barge [including] Luke, Chewie, Leia, R2-D2, C-3PO, Lando, Han, Boba Fett [death], Jabba [death]

*Endor [including] Chewie, Leia, R2-D2, C-3PO, Han

*Duel [third] [including] Emperor [death], Vader [death], Luke, Lando

=== Jurassic Park ===

Jurassic Park

==== [Entering and leaving of characters] ====
[all dinosaurs are represented by red, all men by black lines]
[for dinosaurs locked up, there is a donut-sign.]

'''[Characters entering the chart on the left, from top to bottom]'''

*T-Rex
*Raptors [splitting into Raptor 1, Raptor 2 and Raptor 3 later in the chart]
*Malcolm
*Grant
*Sattler
*Gennaro
*Hammond
*Muldoon
*Arnold
*Nedry

'''[Characters leaving the chart on the right side]'''

*T-Rex
*Kids [start short after the left border of the chart]
*Grant
*Sattler
*Malcolm
*Hammond

===== [Characters starting or leaving not in events/battles and not on the left/right side of the chart] =====

*Dilophosaurus [emerging by a dotted line, vanishing by a dotted line]

==== [List of events as displayed in the chart] ====

*Attack on cars [including] T-Rex, Malcolm [serious injury marked by a sign looking like a hole], Gennaro [death], Grant, Kids

*Must go faster [including] T-Rex, Malcolm, Sattler, Muldoon

*Nedry eaten [including] Dilophosaurus, Nedry [death]

*Gallimimus [including] Grant, Kids, T-Rex

*Shed [including] Raptor 3, Arnold [death]

*Clever girl [including] Raptor 1, Muldoon [death], Raptor 2

*Locked up escapes [including] Raptor 3, Sattler [This area is only grey in the point of "locked up", but a little further on the dotted line, the word "escapes" shows that the raptor 3 is free again. All over the entire comic, this is the only time that a description of "what happens" is given. All other labels are only titles, characters and locations and the note "Special edition" at Jabba / Star Wars, which is also a kind of meta-information.]

*Kitchen locked up [including] Raptor 1, Kids, Raptor 2 [marked as locked up with the donut-sign]

*Visitor Center [including] T-Rex, Raptor 1 [death], Kids, Grant, Sattler, Raptor 3 [death]

=== 12 angry men ===

12 angry men

==== [Entering and leaving of characters] ====

[All lines go parallel, start and end at the borders of the chart. There are no areas of battle/event.]

Juror 1 --------- Juror 1 ----------- Juror 1 ------------ Juror 1

Juror 2 --------- Juror 2 ----------- Juror 2 ------------ Juror 2

Juror 3 --------- Juror 3 ----------- Juror 3 ------------ Juror 3

Juror 4 --------- Juror 4 ----------- Juror 4 ------------ Juror 4

Juror 5 --------- Juror 5 ----------- Juror 5 ------------ Juror 5

Juror 6 --------- Juror 6 ----------- Juror 6 ------------ Juror 6

Juror 7 --------- Juror 7 ----------- Juror 7 ------------ Juror 7

Juror 8 --------- Juror 8 ----------- Juror 8 ------------ Juror 8

Juror 9 --------- Juror 9 ----------- Juror 9 ------------ Juror 9

Juror 10 --------- Juror 10 ----------- Juror 10 ------------ Juror 10

Juror 11 --------- Juror 11 ----------- Juror 11 ------------ Juror 11

Juror 12 --------- Juror 12 ----------- Juror 12 ------------ Juror 12

=== Primer ===

[Three characters enter the chart on the left side, all represented by black lines]
*Abe
*Aaron
*Granger
[The lines come to a giant scribble and end up with dotted lines and question marks in the right area. One cannot see which line leads to which end.]

==Trivia==
This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20211215032225/https://store.xkcd.com/products/movie-narrative-charts-poster available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Jurassic Park]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Movies]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

681: Gravity Wells

2026-03-31T17:07:44Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 681
| date = December 28, 2009
| title = Gravity Wells
| image = gravity_wells.png
| titletext = This doesn't take into account the energy imparted by orbital motion (or gravity assists or the Oberth effect), all of which can make it easier to reach outer planets.
}}
{{TOC}}The xkcd page links to [http://xkcd.com/681_large/ a much larger version].

==Explanation==
The comic shows the gravitational potential (energy transferred per unit mass due to gravity) for the positions of each planet in the solar system — including some moons and Saturn's rings. An object traveling along an upward slope loses energy, while an object traveling along a downward slope gains energy. Escaping a planet or moon's orbit requires enough energy (e.g. by walking, jumping, or rocket) to reach the top of either peak that defines the edge of the well. The peak to the left indicates the minimum energy required to exit orbit. The peak to the right indicates the maximum energy required to exit orbit. In order to exit orbit with the minimum amount of energy, you would have to travel towards the center of the solar system; to exit orbit with the maximum amount of energy, you would have to travel away from the center of the solar system (the Sun). In reality, the strength of gravity decreases with distance from the planet. However, a comparison of energy expended to escape the gravitational pull allows for a simpler comparison between the objects.

The height of the graph is scaled to kilometers via the gravitational potential an object has at the given height assuming at a constant acceleration due to Earth's surface gravity. The {{w|Sun|Sun's}} gravity well is not shown in its entirety, but is just indicated on the far left as ''"Very very far down"''. Had it been shown in its full extent it would have made the rest of the drawing so small in comparison that it would have been unreadable. As the gravitational potential increases with distance from the sun, the graph has a general upward slope. To rise out of each well on the diagram, and therefore escape the planet's gravity, it would require the same energy required to rise out of a physical well of that depth at Earth's surface gravity.

The length of each gravity well is scaled to the diameter of the planet and the spacing between the planets is not to scale with distance from the sun. This is necessary to make the graph readable. Because the distances between the planets are condensed, the gravitational potential - from the gravity pulling toward the sun - accumulates quicker. This is the reason for the large peaks between the planets. The moons shown in the chart are at the appropriate distance from their respective planets' gravity wells for their orbits. Each planet is shown cut in half at the bottom of its well, with the depth of the well measured down to the planet's flat surface.

==== Inner Planets ====
* {{w|Mercury (planet)|Mercury}} — no facts listed
* {{w|Venus (planet)|Venus}} — no facts listed
* {{w|Earth}} and {{w|Moon}}: The listed depth of the gravity well at Earth was originally listed at 5478 km rather than the correct value of 6379 km seen in the cutout. Randall has since corrected it. The Moon's is 288 km.
* {{w|Mars}}: The listed depth of the gravity well of Mars is 1286 km.

==== Outer Planets ====
* {{w|Jupiter}}: Jupiter is so massive and dense that it is one thirteenth the mass of a small {{w|Brown dwarf}} which is the smallest kind of star. Saturn, while similar in size, is composed of much lighter gas material. Hence Saturn's mass and therefore its gravitational pull are much smaller. If a few dozen times the mass of gasses contained in Jupiter had condensed in that location, the gravitational pull would cause the pressure and temperature to increase to a level that is sufficient to ignite {{w|Nuclear fusion|nuclear fusion}}. Had that happened during the creation of our solar system, we would have two {{w|Sun|Suns}} and our solar system would be a {{w|Binary system (astronomy)|Binary system}}. Jupiter has {{w|Moons of Jupiter|67 moons}} of which 3 are shown;
** {{w|Ganymede (moon)|Ganymede}} — moon of Jupiter, no facts given
** {{w|Io (moon)|Io}} — moon of Jupiter, no facts given
** {{w|Europa (moon)|Europa}} — moon of Jupiter, no facts given

* {{w|Saturn}}: The diagram shows the position of the {{w|rings of Saturn}} in Saturn's gravity well. Saturn's rings start fairly near the planet and extend out quite far, therefore multiple stripes are shown in the figure. The rings are also shown in multiple colors and roughly match the observed colors from photos take by the {{w|Cassini–Huygens|Cassini spacecraft}} expedition as it passed Saturn. All of the colors of the planets and moons represent the predominant color of that object as observed from earth. Saturn has {{w|Moons of Saturn|62 moons}} of which one is shown;
** {{w|Titan (moon)|Titan}}, a moon of Saturn. The figures on Titan are sirens, a reference to Kurt Vonnegut's ''{{w|The Sirens of Titan}}''.

* {{w|Uranus}}: Notably absent is any "your-anus" jokes.
* {{w|Neptune}}: Megan's quote is a paraphrase of {{w|Carl Sagan|Carl Sagan's}} quote, "...but from a planet orbiting a star in a distant globular cluster, a still more glorious dawn awaits, not a sun-rise, but a galaxy rise." [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSgiXGELjbc Video here]

==== Cut outs and sketches====
The following items are listed from top to bottom and left to right.

* Mars moons: The Mars cutout shows the Mars moon system, including the moons Deimos and Phobos. The depth of the Mars gravity well is listed at 1286 km.
** {{w|Deimos (moon)|Deimos}}: The gravity on Deimos, a moon of Mars, is so weak that a bike jump would be sufficient to escape its gravity.
** {{w|Phobos (moon)|Phobos}}: The gravity on Phobos, a moon of Mars, is so weak that you could launch a baseball into space simply by throwing it.

* Your mom and a local football team: The sketch next to Jupiter is playing on the classic "Yo Mama" joke. It combines "Yo Mama is so fat" and "Yo Mama is so horny". The sketch implies that she has a huge gravitational pull because she is very fat, and has sex with an entire football team by demonstrating a football team falling into her very deep gravity well. A "Yo Mama" joke also appears in comic [[89: Gravitational Mass]].

* Earth's Moon: The cut out shows the significant difference in strength between the {{w|gravity well}} of the Earth and the Moon. Cueball comments that the {{w|Apollo Lunar Module|Apollo Lunar Module}} was very small and the {{w|Saturn V}} rocket was very large because escaping the Earth's gravity well takes much more energy than escaping the Moon's. The cut out also shows objects like the {{w|International_Space_Station|International Space Station}}, the {{w|Space shuttle|space shuttle}}, {{w|GPS satellite|GPS satellites}} and {{w|Geostationary orbit|geo-stationary satellites}} at their respective positions within Earth's gravity well. The depth of Earth's gravity well is listed correctly at 6 379 km (note the difference from the non-cutout number). The depth of the Moon's gravity well is listed at 288 km.

=== How to calculate gravity wells ===
The text near the bottom of Jupiter's gravity well explains that the depth of the well is mass-of-planet over radius-of-planet with Newton's constant and 9.81 m/s² as constants, where 9.81 m/s² is the acceleration of a free falling body at Earth's gravity.

The calculation for a gravity well is:
:depth = (G * Planet-mass ) / (9.81 m/s2 * Planet-radius)
::where G is {{w|Isaac Newton|Newton}}'s {{w|gravitational constant}}, and
::9.81 m/s2 is the {{w|acceleration}} rate of a {{w|Gravity of Earth|free falling body on earth}} at sea level (g).

====Title text====
The title text indicates that the planets motion can affect the amount of energy for escape velocity. It is possible to change speed by using the planets orbital speed and gravity. This is known as a performing a slingshot or a {{w|gravity assist}}, and is done to gain speed or to brake when needed. The use of rocket engines are more effective when used at a high speed slingshot maneuver, which is known as the {{w|Oberth effect}}, where most energy is going into moving the rocket as opposed to moving the exhaust — conserving the maximum useful energy. On earth the same principle is used when launching rockets. Rockets are always launched in an eastward direction to make maximum use of the rotational energy of the earth. Launching rockets in a westward direction would require significant additional energy. Because of this most artificial satellites are flying east around the globe.

The size of the gravity-well as described in this comic is not accounting for these factors. Therefore, leaving the solar system (or any of the gravity wells of the planets) could require less energy than described by the graph, assuming that the launch and slingshots are properly designed and executed.

==== Escape Velocities ====
The following table was adapted from the table in {{w|Escape velocity#List of escape velocities|Escape velocity}}, using ''h'' = ''V_e''^2 / 2''g'':
{| class="wikitable" border="1"
| Location || with respect to || Ve (km/s) || Well depth (km) ||
| Location || with respect to || Ve (km/s) || Solar well (Mm) || Total depth (Mm)
|-
| on the Sun, || the Sun's gravity: || 617.5 || 19,435,000 || || || || || || 19,435
|-
| on Mercury, || Mercury's gravity: || 4.3 || 942 ||
| at Mercury, || the Sun's gravity: || 67.7 || 233.6 || 235
|-
| on Venus, || Venus' gravity: || 10.3 || 5,407 ||
| at Venus, || the Sun's gravity: || 49.5 || 124.9 || 130
|-
| on Earth, || the Earth's gravity: || 11.2 || 6,393 ||
| at the Earth/Moon, || the Sun's gravity: || 42.1 || 90.3 || 97
|-
| on the Moon, || the Moon's gravity: || 2.4 || 294 ||
| at the Moon, || the Earth's gravity: || 1.4 || || 91
|-
| on Mars, || Mars' gravity: || 5 || 1,274 ||
| at Mars, || the Sun's gravity: || 34.1 || 59.3 || 61
|-
| on Jupiter, || Jupiter's gravity: || 59.5 || 180,400 ||
| at Jupiter, || the Sun's gravity: || 18.5 || 17.4 || 198
|-
| on Ganymede, || Ganymede's gravity: || 2.7 || 372 || || || || ||
|-
| on Saturn, || Saturn's gravity: || 35.6 || 64,600 ||
| at Saturn, || the Sun's gravity: || 13.6 || 9.43 || 74
|-
| on Uranus, || Uranus' gravity: || 21.2 || 22,907 ||
| at Uranus, || the Sun's gravity: || 9.6 || 4.7 || 28
|-
| on Neptune, || Neptune's gravity: || 23.6 || 28,400 ||
| at Neptune, || the Sun's gravity: || 7.7 || 3.02 || 31
|-
| on Pluto, || Pluto's gravity: || 1.2 || 73 || || || || ||
|-
|at Solar System galactic radius, || the Milky Way's gravity: || 525 || 14,000
|}

==Transcript==
:'''Main Text'''
:Gravity Wells scaled to Earth surface gravity
:This chart shows the "depth" of various solar system gravity wells.
:Each well is scaled such that rising out of a physical well of that depth — in constant Earth surface gravity — would take the same energy as escaping from that planet's gravity in reality.
:Each planet is shown cut in half at the bottom of its well, with the depth of the well measured down to the planet's ''flat'' surface.
:The planet sizes are to the same scale as the wells. Interplanetary distances are not to scale.
:Depth = (G × PlanetMass) / (g × PlanetRadius)
:G = Newton's constant
:g = 9.81 m/s2

:'''Planetary Descriptions'''
:To Sun, very very far down
:Mercury
:Venus
:Earth - 6379 km [originally 5,478 km]
:Moon - 288 km
:Mars - 1,286 km
:Ganymede
:Io
:Jupiter
::[A drawing of a "very deep" gravity well, "Your mom" at the bottom, several member of "local football team" falling down towards her.]
::Jupiter is not much larger than Saturn, but much more massive. At its size, adding more mass just makes it denser due to the extra squeezing of gravity.
::If you dropped a few dozen more Jupiters into it, the pressure would ignite fusion and make it a star.
:Europa
:Titan
::Two alarms: Weeoooeeoooeeooo
:Saturn
::Rings
:Uranus
:Neptune
::Megan: An even more glorious dawn awaits!

:'''Mars Inset'''
:[Mars gravity well, with one of the Mars rovers on its surface, with its moons Deimos and Phobos as smaller gravity wells.]

:[Figure of a man (to scale) in Deimos's gravity well.]
:You could escape Deimos with a bike and a ramp.

:[Figure of a man (to scale) in Phobos's gravity well.]
:A thrown baseball could escape Phobos.

:'''Earth Inset'''
:[Zoomed-in view of Earth/moon gravity well, featuring the relative locations of the atmosphere, Low Earth Orbit, the International Space Station, the Space Shuttle, GPS satellites, and satellites in geosynchronous orbit.]
:Cueball: This is why it took a huge rocket to get to the moon but only a small one to get back.

:It takes the same amount of energy to launch something on an escape trajectory away from Earth as it would to launch it 6,000 km upward under constant 9.81 m/s2 Earth gravity.

:Hence, Earth's well is 6,000 km deep.

==Trivia==
This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20211215032220/https://store.xkcd.com/products/gravity-wells-poster available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Illustrations of scale]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:American football]]
[[Category:Baseball]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Mars rovers]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]
[[Category:Rockets]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

739: Malamanteau

2026-03-31T17:07:32Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 739
| date = May 12, 2010
| title = Malamanteau
| image = malamanteau.png
| titletext = The article has twenty-three citations, one of which is an obscure manuscript from the 1490s and the other twenty-two are arguments on LanguageLog.
}}

==Explanation==
A {{w|malapropism}} is the use of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound, resulting in a nonsensical utterance. An example of a {{w|malapropism}} is {{w|Yogi Berra}}'s statement: "Texas has a lot of electrical votes," rather than "electoral votes". A {{w|portmanteau}} is a word made up of two or more combined words. For example, motel is a portmanteau, from the words motor and hotel. A {{w|neologism}} is simply a newly coined word that is not yet in common use. Here, [[Randall]] shows a hypothetical Wikipedia page of the word "malamanteau" which is both a portmanteau of "malapropism" and "portmanteau" and a neologism. The method used to create this new word is one of the very words used in the process. This is called a [[917|meta]] or "self-referential" joke.

By using many large obscure words in one sentence, Randall may also be picking on linguists, [[114|one]] [[1483|of]] his [[1602|favorite]] [[2390|subjects]], who are known for coining and using such words. "Malamanteau" was originally coined in 2007, when user [http://www.metafilter.com/user/17900 ludwig_van] proposed it on [http://www.metafilter.com Metafilter] as a term for language errors like "flustrated" (flustered & frustrated) and "misconscrewed" (misconstrued & screwed). The bottom line of the comic (Ever notice how Wikipedia has a few words it ''really'' likes?) is a reference to a large number of Wikipedia pages that start by labeling their subject matter as a malapropism, a portmanteau, or a neologism.

The title text refers to Wikipedia's requirements of citations for a page on there to exist. It also refers to the wide range of places citations can be obtained from, showing a direct opposition due to the use of very different citations (The Language Log arguments are modern and informal, whereas the obscure manuscript is formal and much older). The title text also refers to the fact that [http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/ Language Log] is frequently used for Wikipedia citations.

Language Log is a blog that posts content relating to language and linguistics, including things like malapropisms and portmanteaus. While an informal source, it has produced new linguistic terms before, such as {{w|eggcorn}}. Its comments sections frequently contain discussions and arguments about English, whose participants are probably the same people who write Wikipedia articles about linguistic phenomena like malamanteaus. In actual fact, [http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=2758 Malamanteau] did not appear on Language Log until after this strip. Malamanteau has since been referenced on the Language Log website, with a link to the comic in question. Language Log has referenced xkcd many times before, reposting the comics and linking to the xkcd website.

The title text jokingly refers to the "malamanteau" citations being Language Log references and a document from the 1490s, in reference to the fact that linguists, like those who post on Language Log, often use old documents as evidence, possibly to prove that construction is a longstanding feature of the language. The joke is that the only references to this word or concept are a 500-year-old document and linguists informally arguing about what it means. In reality, if these citations were the only evidence of the term's use, then it would be unlikely to be a notable feature worthy of a Wikipedia article. Most articles that are only cited by a single website tend to get deleted unless the subject has achieved significant coverage in outside news media.

===Aftermath===
In response to this comic, the {{w|Malamanteau}} article was created and deleted three times in one day, before being turned into a redirect and listed on {{w|WP:RFD|Wikipedia's Redirects for discussion}}. The {{w|Wikipedia:Redirects for discussion/Log/2010 May 12#Malamanteau|discussion to delete Malamanteau}} was one of the most epic and passionate ever to take place at RFD, with almost 200 users participating, even despite being closed early. In the end, the redirect to {{w|xkcd}} was kept, but on {{w|Talk:Malamanteau|the talk page}}, the arguments over it rage on. Malamanteau and the controversy at Wikipedia got coverage at ''{{w|The Economist}}'' and ''{{w|The Boston Globe}}'' and is mentioned in the {{w|Wikipedia:Lamest edit wars#Malamanteau|'''Malamanteau''' section}} within the {{w|Wikipedia:Lamest edit wars|Wikipedia page for the lamest edit wars}}

Elsewhere on Wikipedia, this comic is used to illustrate the {{w|xkcd#Recurring themes|''Recurring themes'' section}} of the {{w|xkcd}} article; in order for this to be possible, Randall changed the license for this particular comic. This has been explained in a unique [[Header text|header text]] that is only displayed on the [[Header text#Malamanteau|page for Malamanteau]]. In response to two Wikipedia editors jokingly bickering about who invented the word "malamanteau" first, Randall replied {{w|User talk:xkcd#Talk:Malamanteau|on his user talk page}}:

{{Quote|I'll happily grant you possession of the word and the accompanying Talk page clusterfuck. As I said in a couple places, there was one hit for the word when I did the comic (yours), which I found after posting and which didn't define it the same way. But I'd be happy to give you credit for coming up with the word before I did (I didn't even mean to invent a word), especially if it means you have to argue about the word's inclusion in Wikipedia. Let's work out an agreement. Can we have your people meet with my people, and then get them to fight to the death in some kind of a cage? I think that would be awesome, as my people are pretty scrappy and I assume yours have been training since at least July 2007.|[[Randall Munroe]]|{{w|User talk:xkcd#Talk:Malamanteau|Source}}}}

==Transcript==
:[The strip is set up as the top of a Wikipedia page.]
:[The Wikipedia logo.]
:Wikipedia
:The free encyclopedia
:[Side navigation options.]
:Navigation
:-Main Page
:-Contents
:-Featured Content
:-Current Events [cutoff]
:[Wikipedia header options.]
:Article Discussion Edit this page [cutoff text: History]
:[The article itself.]
:Malamanteau
:From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
:A malamanteau is a neologism for a portmanteau created by incorrectly combining a malapropism with a neologism. It is itself a portmanteau of [...the article cuts off.]
:[Below the panel.]
:Ever notice how Wikipedia has a few words it ''really'' likes?

==Trivia==
* The comic shows Wikipedia as it would have looked at the beginning of May 2010, using its then-current logo and the then-default "Monobook" skin. Incidentally, just a day after the comic’s publication, a new version of the {{w|Wikipedia logo}} was published, and the default skin [[mw:Special:Code/MediaWiki/66383|was switched]] to the "Vector" skin. Nowadays, both of these skins are outdated and no longer maintained after Wikipedia underwent a major redesign to increase usability and accessibility.

* Interestingly, the "f" in Wikipedia's tagline "From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia" is lowercase. This differs from the other letters, which are written in xkcd's standard all-caps font, including the similar phrase under the Wikipedia logo.

==External links==
*[http://malamanteaus.blogspot.com/ Malamanteaus], a blog dedicated to the creation and proliferation of malamanteaux
*[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Malamanteau Malamanteau] at urbandictionary.com
*[http://wordsquirt.com/Word/View/Malamanteau/dbb34d48-e565-4012-bcc8-56718f351712 Malamanteau] at wordsquirt.com
*[http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/index.php?s=malamanteau Entries referencing "malamanteau"] at LanguageLog.com
*Malamanteau Talk Page Archives {{w|Talk:Malamanteau/Archive 1|1}} and {{w|Talk:Malamanteau/Archive 2|2}} at Wikipedia.com
*{{w|Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Malamanteau}}
*{{w|File:Malamanteau page history.jpg|Screen capture}} of the deleted history for the "Malamanteau" page from Wikipedia
*[//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log&page=Malamanteau Wikipedia Log for "Malamanteau"]
*Beutler, William (May 5, 2010) "[http://thewikipedian.net/2010/05/18/much-ado-about-malamanteau/ Much Ado About Malamanteau]". ''The Wikipedian''
*McKean, Erin (May 30, 2010) "[http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2010/05/30/one_day_wonder/ One Day Wonder]". ''The Boston Globe''
*R.L.G (Nov 4th 2010) "[http://www.economist.com/blogs/johnson/2010/11/neologisms Eggcorn, mashup, malamanteau or other?]". ''The Economonist''
*July 17, 2007 "[http://ask.metafilter.com/67192/How-to-define-this-language-mistake How to define this language mistake?]" - MetaFilter thread with the first usage
*The section {{w|Wikipedia:Lamest edit wars#Malamanteau|"Malamanteu"}}, within the "Wikipedia:Lamest edit wars" page, in response to the response to this comic.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:CC-BY-SA comics]]
[[Category:Portmanteau‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]] 
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

802: Online Communities 2

2026-03-31T17:07:19Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 802
| date = October 6, 2010
| title = Online Communities 2
| image = online_communities_2.png
| imagesize = 740x860px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Best trivia I learned while working on this: 'Man, Farmville is so huge! Do you realize it's the second-biggest browser-based social-networking-centered farming game in the WORLD?' Then you wait for the listener to do a double-take.}}

{{TOC}}A [https://xkcd.com/802_large/ larger version] of this picture can be found by clicking the comic on [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com].

==Explanation==
This comic shows a map of internet communities where the size of each region roughly corresponds to its size, and its proximity to other regions indicates similarities. This is the successor of [[256: Online Communities]]. It differs in that it is updated, and furthermore, instead of using the ''membership'' of whichever service to determine its size on the map, it uses its "daily social activity".

The map actually has two super−maps intended to show the relative usage of types of communication: the online community map is surrounded by the much larger "countries" of E−Mail, SMS ("Instant Messaging") and "Cell Phones," which in turn are surrounded by the even huger "Spoken Language." It is unclear whether "Cell Phones" is intended to represent an independent region, or whether it is meant to be a sub-region of "Spoken Language." The ambiguity is exacerbated by the fact that cell phones are the primary medium of SMS, and are also used to access email and online communities. It's also unclear why other forms of communication, such as handwritten letters, are not included.

In the title text, [[Randall]] explains that, using his definition of "most activity per day", Farmville is actually the ''second'' most popular social-network farming game. The Chinese game "Happy Farm" was more popular at the time. This strikes many English-speaking xkcd readers as odd, because Farmville is much more famous, leading one to wonder how it could not be the most played. The phrase "browser-based social-networking–centered farming game" is an example of an {{tvtropes|OverlyNarrowSuperlative|overly narrow superlative}}.

----

===Facebook Region===
The Facebook region deals with social networks, that is, websites oriented towards having people meet.

'''{{w|Facebook}}

: A social networking site that allows people to meet old real−life friends and make new friends that share similar interests. One of its most notable features is that a member can update a "status" or make normal posts about the happenings of the member's life, complete with pictures, other members "liking" these posts. The size of the Facebook region is not exaggerated, as most websites seem to allow "liking" their content or allow/require logging in the website with a Facebook account. There even are cell phones with a "Facebook" button!

; {{w|FarmVille}} and {{w|Farm Town}}

: These are Facebook games in which users manage farms. '''{{w|Happy Farm}},''' the Chinese game that inspired the other two, does not require Facebook integration, so it is separated by a solid line from Facebook. The "Unethical Bay" refers to how these games tend to addict players into constantly buying virtual items of questionable value.

; People You Can't Unfriend

: Refers to people whom, due to real-life expectations and relationships, unfriending them is difficult, no matter how you really feel about them.

; Blatherskite River

: Refers to the conversations on Facebook, which may be long yet devoid of general meaning or logic.

; Data Mines

: Refers to the data mining that Facebook does with the interests of its members. This fuels the profitable advertising business at the expense of customer trust.

; Plains of Awkwardly Public Family Interactions

: Refers to how interactions with family members on Facebook suddenly become more awkward because everyone on Facebook (and sometimes ''off'' Facebook, given that you do not necessarily need to log in if you want to see someone's Facebook account) if you are discussing with your family through post comments.

; 524,287 Strong for Mersenne Primes

: Refers to the communities who gain followers for a cause. A {{w|Mersenne prime}} is a prime number that is 1 less than a power of 2

; 524287

: The 7th known Mersenne prime.

; Jungle-Bay Mountains of "It's Complicated"

: Refers to one of Facebook's options as to what a user's relationship status currently is. A Jungle-Bay Mountain is a complicated and undefined climate, hence the complication.

; "lamebook bay"

: Refers to the online website "lamebook", where users post photos of funny things that happen on Facebook (these can include statuses, "fails", put-downs and images.)

; "Old Facebook" Resistance

: Refers to Facebook's earlier users, who have often resisted (and resented) changes made to Facebook as it became more popular.

; Privacy Controls

: This is located on the map surrounded by a Lava Pool, which is a reference to how difficult it is to find the privacy controls within Facebook.

; Niche Market Mountains

: Refers to social networks aimed towards more niche markets are located. Similar to how mountains tend to be isolated from mainland, niche social networks tend to be just that: niche, without much interaction with the general populace.

; Charred Wasteland of Abandoned Social Networks

: Refers to the tons of websites wanting to take advantage of the success of websites like Facebook to compete or even overpower with them. Even so, these websites tend to not have the userbase or even the expertise towards the long-term, hence they become wastelands: environments devoid of life, except the few life forms that are from these wastelands (in this case, the ones who are loyal to the website or which are sadly few).

In the Charred Wasteland stands:

; {{w|Ozymandias}}

: The titular broken statue of Shelley's poem. In the poem, only "two vast and trunkless legs of stone" and a "shattered visage" are all that remain of the once-great statue and both of these features are present in the comic. According to the poem, the pedestal before the broken statue reads "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings..." hence "friend of friends" below Ozymandias on the map.

In the north are:

; The Duckface Mountains and The Red Cup Mountains

: "Duckface" refers to [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/duck-face this incredibly obnoxious facial expression], and "red cup pictures" are any pictures containing party-goers holding disposable red plastic beverage cups. Facebook is absolutely flooded with both types of pictures.

In the south is:

; Buzzword Bay

: {{w|Buzzword}}s are words and phrases that make you sound a lot more topical than you actually are, used to garner attention. Again, Facebook status updates are commonly filled with buzzwords.

While Facebook is the largest "country" of the Facebook Region, there are a lot of smaller "countries" that represent smaller social networks.

Below Facebook (and "Old Facebook' Resistance") are:

; {{w|Diaspora (social network)|Diaspora}}

: A fully open-source, decentralized, privacy-respecting-and-expecting alternative to Facebook. From what this map tells, Diaspora is little-known, even if Facebook is taken out of the context.

; {{w|StudiVZ}}

: A German-speaking social network similar if not a ripped-off version of Facebook.

; {{w|XING}}

: A German-speaking social platform similar to {{w|LinkedIn}}.

; {{w|Ning (website)|Ning}}

: A service to create custom social websites. Its free services shut down in 2010.

; {{w|Taringa!}}

: A Spanish-speaking social network that is based on a forums. Copyrighted material is frequently found there.

Next to the Euro(pean) Gulf are:

; {{w|Skyrock (social network site)}}

: A French-speaking social network.

; {{w|Wer-kennt-wen}}

: A German-social network somewhat like MySpace.

; {{w|Nasza-klasa.pl}}

: NK, misspelled on the map as nasa-klasza.pl, is a Polish-speaking social network based on school relationships.

; {{w|Badoo}}

: A social network primarily based on dating and picture-sharing.

; {{w|Classmates.com}}

: A service in which the user can meet classmates that came from the same high school. The website is probably best known by its memetic advertisement that said [https://dudemanphat.blogspot.com/2005/10/how-am-i-supposed-to-care-about-nick.html "She married him??!! And they've got 7 kids??"] (Incidentally, [https://seattletimes.com/html/businesstechnology/2003325519_adcouple27.html there is more to the coupled picture than what the advertisement says.])

; {{w|MySpace}}

: A social networking website that is a kind of proto-Facebook: users could customize their one-page websites with whatever they wanted, make their interests and daily lives public, and interact with other users. Back in the mid 2000s, MySpace was the largest social network. However, the surprisingly-less-customizable Facebook ended up taking the place of MySpace. The "bands" country of MySpace refers to how a lot of bands in the day advertised and interacted using the website. Indeed, the latest incarnation of MySpace (in terms of 2013) is more oriented towards band members.

; {{w|LinkedIn}}

: A social network aimed towards people in the workplace, which is why it is adjacent to Corporate Bay.

; {{w|Orkut}}

: This was one of Google's first social networks before Google made [https://plus.google.com/ Google+]. It shut down in 2014.

; {{w|Hi5}}

: A social network that is very popular among people in Latin America.

; {{w|Renren}}

: "People" in Chinese, this is "a Chinese copy of Facebook".

; {{w|Bebo}}

: A social network popular in the United Kingdom and Ireland. It went bankrupt in 2013 and will move away from social networking and into apps.

; {{w|Friendster}}

: One of the first major social networks, it has fallen way off in usage in recent years and was eclipsed by MySpace. It is still popular in Asia.

; {{w|VK (social networking website)|Vkontakte}}

: VK is the second largest social network service in Europe after Facebook. It is available in several languages, but particularly popular among Russian-speaking users around the world.

; {{w|Netlog}}

: A Belgian social networking website specifically targeted at the global youth demographic.

; {{w|Mixi}}

: This is an online Japanese social networking service.

; {{w|Qzone}}

: A social networking website, which is big in China. According to a report published by Tencent, possibly surpassing other social networking websites like Facebook and MySpace in China.

; {{w|Tuenti}}

: A Spain-based, social networking service, that has been referred to as the "Spanish Facebook."

; {{w|Cloob}}

: A Persian-language social networking website, mainly popular in Iran. After the locally (and internationally) popular social networking website Orkut was blocked by the Iranian government, a series of local sites and networks, including Cloob, emerged to fill the gap.

; {{w|Kaixin001}}

: A social networking website which ranks as the 13th most popular website in China and 67th overall.

; {{w|Piczo}}

: A privately held blog website for teens. In November 2012, Piczo.com shut down.

; {{w|Odnoklassniki}}

: A social network service for classmates and old friends. It is popular in Russia and former Soviet Republics.

; {{w|Adult FriendFinder}}

: A pornographic dating site.

; {{w|Match.com}}

: A dating site, mainly targeted at people looking for marriage.

; {{w|Ok Cupid}}

: Another dating site, however it has been owned by Match.com since 2011.

; {{w|PlentyofFish}}

: This is yet another dating site, also owned by Match.com since June 2015.

; {{w|Sulawesi}}

: A real-life island in the Indonesian archipelago. It also appears in 256: Online Communities.

----

===MMO Isle===
MMOs (short form of "Massive Multiplayer Online Game") are online games where multiple people take the role of a character and play in a setting hosted by the game.

; [https://www.habbo.com/ Habbo Hotel]

: A website where someone creates a human avatar an interacts in a virtual world that is not that different from the one in real life.

; {{w|Club Penguin}}

: This is [https://disney.com/ Disney's] former MMO where someone creates a penguin avatar and interacts with other in a more polar, cartoony setting. Club Penguin is aimed towards children. It has been shut down near the end of March 2017.

; [https://maplestory.nexon.net/ Maple Story]

: This is an MMO that has a more natural setting. The most distinguishing feature of Maple Story is its cartoony pixel art.

; [https://www.gamefaqs.com/ GameFAQs]

: While this is not an MMO, it is a website that has the largest repository of walkthoughs, that is, guides that help someone beat a game. GameFAQs is notable for not only its large repository of walkthroughs of games that are across an extreme variety of consoles, handhelds, and even computers (not all of them MMOs), but also the drama that is rumoured to happen in the GameFAQs forums.

; [https://www.ign.com/ IGN]

: While this is also not an MMO, it is the largest website that gives news on video games in general, not just MMOs. Each of the games mentioned in the site have pages that have summaries, reviews, screenshots, other art, videos, and links to news related to its games.

; [https://www.playonline.com/ff11us/index.shtml FFXI]

: Final Fantasy XI is an MMO from SquareEnix, being the first MMO of the popular ''Final Fantasy'' series.

; [https://www.runescape.com/community Runescape]

: This is an older MMO.

; [https://us.battle.net/sc2/en/ Starcraft II]

: A realtime strategy game with a science fiction setting that heavily involves space travel. While technically not an MMO, it has a significant online multiplayer component.

; [https://us.battle.net/wow/en/ WoW]

: World of Warcraft is the definitive MMO, being not only the most popular and one of the longest-running but also the most expansive (having its own spinoff games, comic books, novels, and even figurines), WOW giving the idea of how an MMO should be. A player can choose from a variety of races, each with its own heavy history.

; [https://secondlife.com/ Second Life]

: This is similar to Habbo, albeit with a bigger suspension of disbelief (one example being that the player does not need to be a human) and in a 3D setting.

; [https://www.nationstates.net/ NationStates]

: A text-based political simulation game. Notably, some of its traffic comes not from the actual game (which is optional), but the extensive set of political, roleplaying, and general forums attached.

; [https://www.urbandead.com/ Urban Dead]

: It described itself as "A Massively Multi-Player Web-Based Zombie Apocalypse", which sums it up pretty well. It was finally closed down on 2025-03-14, [https://urbandead.com/stats.html reportedly] with 7893 characters still actively playing until the end, 6087 of them still standing (and 29 Christmas Trees).

; [https://www.kingdomofloathing.com KoL]

: Kingdom of Loathing is a comedic browser-based MMO-ish RPG with minimalistic stick-figure art.

; {{w|CDC Games}}

: A Chinese company reputed to be the largest MMORPG distributor.

; {{w|Eve Online|EVE Online}}

: A science fiction MMO which is notable because of its virtual economy.

; {{w|Gaia Online|Gaia}}

: Gaia Online, while not an MMO, is a forum oriented towards pop culture, including video games and Japanese media. Its most notable feature is the heavy customization possible of a member's pixel-art avatar. Its members tend to roleplay a lot, albeit in a more written, story-based form. Gaia has gained a reputation with its members stealing art and causing drama. The ferry that links the gaia island with 4chan was most likely due to the "boxxy" row, where vlogger boxxy posted videos of her using gaia, which then were circulated on 4chan. This resulted in a division of the sites users, and many more hacking attacks, including a DDOS attack on 4chan itself.

; [https://www.everquest.com EverQuest]

: EverQuest is one of the first MMO's, it's still running and has a huge number of expansions.

; [https://www.uo.com UO]

: Ultima Online along with EverQuest this was one of the first and longest running MMO's.

; {{w|City of Heroes|CoH}}

: City of Heroes was a superhero-based MMORPG that was shut down November 2012.

; [https://atlantica.nexon.net/ Atlantica]

: Atlantica Online is a turn-based MMORPG.

; [https://lineage.plaync.com/ Lineage]

: A Korean MMORPG, its North American servers were closed 2011/06/29 due to being unprofitable.

; [https://www.lineage2.com/en/ Lineage II]

: A Korean MMORPG, mainly played in Asia along with its predecessor. It adopted a Free to Play model on 2011/11/30.

; {{w|SubSpace (video game)|SubSpace}}

: A 2D, topdown shooter released in 1997. The servers have been shut down, but it continues to operate through the work of fans. It's widely considered an early entry into the MMO genre due to its unprecedentedly high player count.

Other notable regions include:

; The Mountains of Steam

: Referring to the game distribution service [https://store.steampowered.com/ Steam] where people can buy and download video games in general, not just MMOs. There is also an extensive [https://steamcommunity.com/ community] where users can share content, and instant messaging chat by text, voice, or game streaming.

; River Grind

: Refers to "grinding". In most MMOs, the character is a fighter of some sorts, yet starts at a level 1, signifying the character's aptitude level in combat. The character can level up and gain more aptitude levels through earning experience, of which the most reliable and otherwise common way is the process of "grinding," that is, repeatedly fighting opposing monsters (sometimes of a level notably lower that your character's), gaining experience points from winning these battles until your character gains a level, that is, "levels up". While a practical necessity in strengthening the character, this process can be tiresome, hence the expression "grinding."

; Spawn Camp

: Refers to "spawn points", the places where AI-powered enemies and players who have died in-game respawn, and the act of "spawn camping", in which the player character simply stands behind or around the spawn points to fight the enemy creatures or respawning players as soon as they appear.

; Gulf of Lag

: Refers to how the MMO can be slowed down a considerable amount due to the large amount of players simultaneously using the same server, this congestion bogging down the server and frustrating the users.

; [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/final-boss-of-the-internet End Guy for the Internet]

: Refers to "end bosses," the last — and usually hardest to defeat — "bad guy" in a game (or a section of a game).

----

===YouTube Region===
The YouTube region refers to websites that are based on user-created content.

; [https://www.youtube.com/ YouTube]

: This is the definitive video website where people can upload videos with the purpose of public viewing, ranging from home movies through official music videos through Let's Plays of people playing video games to questionably-legal uploads of cartoons and films. Google had purchased YouTube.

Many of the sites on the map are just references to {{w|viral video}}s at {{w|YouTube}}:

; Viral Shores

: Refers to how viral videos (whether they be viral marketing or simply memes) tend to proliferate on YouTube.

; Britney

: This likely refers to pop singer {{w|Britney Spears}} and the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc‎ "Leave Britney Alone" guy].

; Maru Gulf

: Refers to Maru the Cat, a YouTube celebrity [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/676:_Abstraction also mentioned in xkcd].

; Prairie Dog Habitat

: This likely refers to the viral video [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw Dramatic Chipmunk] (which is actually a Prairie Dog).

; Rick Rolling Hills

: References {{w|Rickrolling}}. More information [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ here]. The "deserted" note likely refers to how Rick Astley himself is tired of the meme, or again, how people tend to leave the video upon getting "Rick Roll'd," never actually going to the video with the express purpose of viewing the video. It could also refer to the lyric in the song, "Never gonna tell a lie and desert you".

; Lunar Landing Soundstage

: Reference to the {{w|Moon landing conspiracy theories}}, which Randall has railed on before.

; {{w|OK Go}} Bay

: Refers to the band "OK Go" who have multiple viral music videos on YouTube, most famously [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA "Here it goes again"] featuring treadmills.

; HTML5 swamp

: Refers to YouTube's spotty support of HTML 5 (an update on HTML that is frequently touting its media capabilities, making HTML 5 a viable alternative to Flash). Of course, by the time the comic was written, HTML 5 was still in its infancy. The Music Video Bay refers to the amount of music videos (official or otherwise) are present in YouTube.

Other counties of the YouTube region include:

; [https://vimeo.com/ Vimeo]

: A website where people tend to showcase artistic content that they made on their own, notably independent studios.

; [https://secure.flickr.com/ Flickr]

: A website where people can upload and share photographs they took.

; [https://fotolog.com Fotolog]

: A photo website very popular in South America in 2004-2008, which was used as a social network.

; [https://www.last.fm/ Last.fm]

: A music website that uses a music recommender system known as "Audioscrobbler". Last.fm creates a detailed profile of each user's musical preferences by recording the details of the tracks they listen to and transfers ("scrobbles") the information to Last.fm's database via the music player. The data is then displayed on the user's profile page and compiled to create reference pages for individual artists.

; [https://www.deviantart.com/ deviantArt]

: The largest art website, where people can upload, sell, and buy not only art itself, but also video, audio, Flash-work, and even skins (the original purpose of deviantArt). While many big-name/professional people and organizations have their works in deviantArt, the site is more infamous for the large amount of people who upload low-quality fan-art and fan-characters, most notably of media from Japan. Another point of infamy is the large amount of drama that can happen in the website.

; [https://www.newgrounds.com/ Newgrounds]

: A website that hosts art, (Flash-based) videos, audio, and (Flash-based) games to which other users can comment and rate. Even so, content from Newgrounds tends to be obscene, though there is a filtering system if a viewer does not wish to see obscene content.

; [https://www.chatroulette.com/ Chatroulette]

: A website where people are randomly paired up with each other and video/text chat.

; Brickshelf

: This is the online resource for {{w|LEGO}} fans.

; [https://tumblr.com/ Tumblr]

: A websie where people could make a blog and post text, pictures, video, audio, quotes, and links. The most distinguishing feature is the ability to "reblog" these posts from other's people's blogs into the user's own blog. Notable features of Tumblr include sketchblogs (where people upload their sketches), Ask blogs (where people answer questions other users ask, the moderators of these blogs usually pretending to be a character from a form of media), and the large amount of "social justice" (a highly controversial political movement). (See also [[1043: Ablogalypse]].)

; {{w|b3ta}}

: A popular British website, described as a "puerile digital arts community" by The Guardian.

; The Isle of teenagers who just discovered macroeconomics

: A joke about how teenagers tend to think that the world and the economy are a lot simpler than they actually are. Combined with the typical internet mindset, this leads to a lot of teenagers posting blogs and videos and comments on blogs and videos describing how idiotic the government and other red-tape-related adults are.

; The Snob Sound

: This could refer to the large amount of people who look down on others in the surrounding websites (one example being an original artist looking down on people who draw mainly fan-art).

; The Iraq

: A reference to Miss Teen USA 2007, in which Ms. Teen South Carolina, Lauren Katlin, said "I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as...the US should help the US and should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we are able to build up our future." The usage of "the Iraq" has became a meme.

----

===Twitter Region===

; Bieber Bay

: A reference to {{w|Justin Bieber}}, a pop singer whose singing sprouted on YouTube and became very popular on Twitter and other social media. He is very much vilified because of his rather feminine appearance and his hordes of fans (called "Beliebers") that seem to support him to ridiculous extents. Lately, though, Justin Beiber has taken a "bad boy" attitude because of all the Beliebers who are willing to defend him no matter what, him partaking in a lot of questionable activities that include tattoos, questionably-legal substances, and buying prostitution, thus lowering his popularity in the general populace.

; {{w|Google Buzz}}

: A former social network attempted by Google. It has since been shut down.

; Bit.Ly Mountains

: A reference to the URL shortening service {{w|bit.ly}}.

; Kanye's Isle of Sadness

: A reference to the musician {{w|Kanye West}}, whose Twitter, at the time, was [https://www.buzzfeed.com/mlew15/25-of-kanye-wests-most-thought-provoking-tweets-h0se famously introspective and stream-of-consciousness].

; Sarah Palin USA

: This is the Twitter handle of former politician {{w|Sarah Palin}}.

; Clueless Politician Coast

: A reference to the number of politicians on Twitter and other social networks who repeatedly share clueless updates that more often create an uproar than help their election chances.

; Desert of Food Updates

: A reference to the number of pictures of food that are shared on social media (especially Twitter). There has even been some controversy on posting such pictures.

; Journalists Trying to Find the Cutting Edge

: This is referencing journalists on Twitter trying to keep up with the way that news is gathered and delivered now, despite usually working for a newspaper that publishes once a day.

; SHAQ

: A reference to the former NBA basketball player, {{w|Shaq}}.

; {{w|identi.ca}}

: This is an open source social networking and micro-blogging service, being an alternative to Twitter.

; Breaking! Waves

: A pun on the fact that so many people used the word "Breaking" at the beginning of tweets that do not warrant that tag that the word has lost most of its meaning and become a joke. It is a pun because waves "break" on the shore.

; Web 3.0

: Refers to the unofficial term {{w|Web 2.0}}. In this case, "Web 1.0" refers to websites that give information to users. Web 2.0 refers to websites where the users themselves create content. Web 3.0 has sometimes been used as a term for {{w|semantic web}}, a machine-readable version of the web, but this usage is far from universal.

; Hashtag games whose popularity confuses and depresses you

: Refers to the game where a user posts something under a particular hashtag and others respond with their own ideas, all tagged under the same phrase. This has been very popular for no clear reason, as Randall notes.

----

===Geotagged Bay===

; {{w|Yelp}}

: A website where people post reviews of real-life public locations (one example being restaurants).

; {{w|Geocaching}}

: A worldwide GPS scavenger hunt where users upload positions of caches and others will find them and log it online.

; {{w|Foursquare}}

: A location-based social network.

; Latitude

: Refers to {{w|Google Latitude}}.

----

===Troll Bay and the Sea of Memes===

; {{w|Reddit}}

: This is the self-described "front page of the Internet" in which users submit stories, photos and videos and the best are "up-voted" to the top of the page.

; {{w|Help:Using talk pages|Wikipedia Talk Pages}}

: Refer to the pages where Wikipedia editors ostensibly discuss how to improve articles.

; {{w|Wikia}}

: Later Fandom, is a website offering free-of-charge wiki hosting, using a variant of Wikimedia's MediaWiki, allowing users to create user-editable encyclopedias of just about any subject matter, although it has more recently introduced an entertainment blog named "Fandom powered by Wikia" and eventually adopted that branding for the wiki farm as well.

; {{w|StumbleUpon}}

: A website-sharing service, it shut down in 2018.

; {{w|Delicious (website)|Delicious}}

: A bookmarking and bookmark-sharing service.

; {{w|Digg}}

: A former competitor to Reddit in the social-news sphere, but now has been sold and restarted as an aggregator of news stories. The lifeboats refer to the mass exodus of users from Digg to rival news aggregator Reddit that occurred after Digg's glitchy and unpopular "v4" redesign in August 2010.

; {{w|Slashdot}}

: Labeled "/." on the map, is a technical news site.

; {{w|MetaFilter}}

: Labeled "MeFi" on the map, is a long-running community blog.

; {{w|Fark}}

: A community website that allows members to comment on news articles from other sites.

; {{w|YTMND}}

: This is an acronym for "You're The Man Now, Dog!" It's also a community in which users can create meme-type nonsense by playing music over an image (either static or animated).

; {{w|Free Republic}}

: A right-wing conservative activist forum.

----

===Skype Region===
The Skype Region refers to different IM, or Instant Messaging services, that enable almost-real-time text chatting between multiple people. These often allow services like voice chat and even video calls.

; {{w|Skype}}

: According to Randall, Skype is the most popular of these among the internet. It has many features to allow peer-to-peer voice chats, as well as allowing calls to be made at a price to actual phones.

; {{w|AIM}}

: AOL Instant Messenger is a chat client created by AOL.

; GG

: {{w|Gadu-Gadu}} is an instant messenger client popular in Poland.

; {{w|Yahoo Messenger}}

: This is an instant messenger client by Yahoo.

; {{w|Google Talk}}

: A voice/video chatting service from Google (that Google has been replacing with Hangouts). Google Talk also has an invasion fleet at its shores.

; {{w|ICQ}}

: This is an older messaging service, albeit with an 18+ requirement (despite pornography not being the point of ICQ).

; {{w|Windows Live Messenger}}

: "MSN", was the messaging service of Microsoft before Microsoft bought Skype. MSN was useful in that people could draw and send pictures to other chatters.

; {{w|Usenet}}

: This was one of the original ways to communicate on the internet, though people can download (copyrighted) files through the service. Since it is still in use by some, it gets the tag "Still Around!" on the map.

; {{w|IRC}} Isles

: Refers to the ancestor of Internet-powered chatting. People would have connected to a server and spoke publicly. IRC is still in use (as of 2014), notably in getting help from other users. One of those isles is #xkcd which is an IRC community around [[xkcd]].

----

===Bay of Drama===

; {{w|FanFiction.net}}

: A website where people can submit their fanfiction (stories by fans written about other peoples' media, normally that about popular media). The website tends to have people that are not helpful to those who legitimately want critique of their own stories.

; {{w|Xanga}}

: A blogging service that, while popular at its time, lost out to...

; {{w|LiveJournal}}

: This was the most popular blogging service before Tumblr.

; ONYD

: Reference to {{w|Oh No You Didn't}}, which is explained in the Blogosphere region.

; {{w|Dreamwidth}}

: A LiveJournal fork emphasizing its open-source nature.

----

===Blogosphere===
The Blogosphere region contains several general {{w|blog}} topics.

; {{w|photo blog|Photo Blogs}}

: These are commonly used to chronicle the lives of the authors through photographs.

; Diary Blogs

: These are another popular use of blogs (and, in fact, the original use) where authors write commentary about their lives.

; Bay of Grammar Pedantry

: This deals with the fact that, whether due to a lack of proper education, a habit of using "chat-speak" in the text-limited SMS and MMS, or simply due to the (generally) more relaxed nature of the Internet, blog authors tend to write with horrible composition, a point of annoyment to a lot of other people due to the subsequent increased difficulty of reading the horribly-written material.

; Fandom Blogs

: These are blogs created by a "{{w|fandom}}" which is a community of fans. A fandom blog deals with the subject matter of the respective fandom.

; Sea of Zero (0) Comments

: Refers to blogs that get very little attention and therefore have no comments.

; SpamBlog Straits

: References spammers who use blogs to increase the number of links to their site to try to game search engines.

; OffTopic.com

: A general interest forum that refers to itself as "the largest general discussion forum on the internet."

; Blog Blogs

: These can refer to blogs that talk about the matter about blogging itself, though they can also refer to blogs which authors use in talking about blogging.

Many more straightforward blogs, including:

* Writing/Poetry

* Gossip Blogs

* Political Blogs

* Music Blogs

* Tech Blogs

* Business Blogs

* Corporate Blogs

* Religious Blogs

* Miscellaneous Blogs

----

===Blogosphere (Core Region)===
Gossip Blogs. Each blog below focuses on gossip surrounding celebrities and other well-known persons.

; {{w|Jezebel}}

: A liberally feminist blog, hosted by Gawker.

; {{w|deadline.com|Deadline}}

: This is an online entertainment news magazine.

; {{w|TMZ}}

: A celebrity news website.

; {{w|Gawker}}

: A blog that is the host of other blogs.

; LJ Oh No They Didn't

: LiveJournal {{w|Oh No They Didn't}} - Oh No They Didn't, also known as ONTD, is the largest community on LiveJournal with over 100,000 members. The community focuses on celebrity gossip and pop culture with most of its posts aggregated from other gossip blogs.

; Doucheblog

: Refers to blogs that were once insightful but that spiraled into long rants due to relationship changes of their authors.

; Isle of Mockery

: A reference to the fact that some of what these blogs do is mock celebrities or other for doing or saying stupid things on camera.

Liberal Blogs. Each blog below focuses on American political news with a "liberal" or "progressive" slant. These blogs tend to lean for the Democratic party.

; {{w|Huffington Post}}

: A news blog.

; {{w|Paul Krugman}}

: This is an American economist who considers himself a liberal.

; {{w|Daily Beast}}

: A news and opinion website focusing on politics and pop culture.

; {{w|Talking Points Memo|TPM}}

: A political journal run by Josh Marshall.

; {{w|Ezra Klein}}

: He used to have his own site at the Washington Post, but is now the editor of [Vox.com].

; {{w|Think Progress}}

: A political news blog.

; {{w|Daily Kos|Kos}}

: Another political blog.

Bay of Flame:

; {{w|Politics Daily}}

: A political journalism website launched by AOL.

; CNN Political Ticker

: This is CNN's political blog.

; {{w|Mediaite}}

: A news and opinion blog covering politics and entertainment in the media.

; {{w|NY Times}}

: This is one of the most famous newspapers, thus the comparatively large size of its island.

; {{w|The Talk}}

: A talk show on CBS that discusses the latest headlines "through the eyes of mothers."

; Libertarian Isle

: Shaped like a {{w|Nolan Chart}}.

Conservative Blogs:
Each blog below focuses on American political news with a "conservative" or Republican slant.

; {{w|Pajamas Media}}

: A media company and operator of conservative news.

; {{w|Michelle Malkin}}

: A conservative blogger, political commentator, and author.

; {{w|Hot Air}}

: A news blog founded by Michelle Malkin.

; {{w|RedState|Red State}}

: A political blog.

; {{w|American Thinker}}

: A daily online magazine focused on politics.

; {{w|Townhall}}

: A web publication and print magazine.

Tech blogs:

; {{w|Boy Genius Report}}

: A weblog that focuses on technology and consumer gadgets.

; {{w|Gizmodo}}

: A news and opinion blog, hosted by Gawker, that talks about life's more technological matters.

; {{w|Engadget}}

: Another technology-oriented, albeit independent, blog.

; Crunchgear

: A blog that reviews gadgets and other hardware.

; {{w|Techcrunch}}

: This is an online publisher of technology industry news.

; {{w|Joystiq}}

: A news and opinion blog that focuses on gaming.

; {{w|Kotaku}}

: Another gaming-oriented news/opinion blog, the main difference being that Kotaku is owned by Gawker.

Assorted:

; {{w|BoingBoing}}

: This is "i blog about wonderful things", the topics being quite random.

; {{w|Lifehacker}}

: Another Gawker blog, is a blog that teaches people how to simplify their lives through 'lifehacking', that is, using their resources in creative wayss. While the subject matter is life in general, there is a significant technological slant.

; {{w|Deadspin}}

: A sports and sports gossip blog founded by Will Leitch. It has since been acquired by Gawker

; Meatorama

: A blog that talks about cooking meat.

----

===QQ Region===

; Baidu Baike

: "Baidu Encyclopedia" and "Interactive Encyclopedia" are two Chinese online encyclopedias. Baidu Baike is powered by the same company as Baidu, the search engine popular in China.

; The Ma Le Ge Bi and The Grass Mud Horse Bay

: These refer to the {{w|Baidu 10 Mythical Creatures}}.

; The Location of Jia Junpeng

: This refers to the Internet meme of {{w|Jia Junpeng}} in 2009 in China.

; {{w|Tencent QQ}}

: A Chinese instant messaging program. In English communities "QQ" has several more common definitions. It can be an {{w|emoticon}}, representing a face with two large, crying eyes, or a synonym for "rage quit", in which a video game player quits the game out of sheer frustration. It originated in ''Warcraft II'' multiplayer, where pressing Ctrl+Q+Q would quit the game, and became more widely known in ''World of Warcraft''. These definitions are commonly combined, usually to mock the "rage quitter".

; River Crabs

: River Crabs is a {{w|Euphemisms for Internet censorship in China|euphemism for internet censorship in China}}. The Gulf of China refers to how sites in the region are based in People's Republic of China ("Red China").

; The Great Firewall

: Refers to {{w|The Great Firewall of China}}, a pun on {{w|The Great Wall of China}}. Similar to how The Great Wall of China was meant to keep intruding nations out of the then-capital of the city, The Great Firewall of China is meant to keep visitors from visiting censored websites. Oddly other Chinese websites (Qzone, Renren etc.) are not enclosed in this zone. It also resembles the {{w|Nine-Dash Line}} commonly drawn on Chinese maps that indicates a vague territorial claim.

----

===Forums Islands===
Forums are websites where one person post a topic to which other people can discuss. While the map has a zoomed in version, this article shall discuss the two bigger islands, first.

; [https://www.2ch.net 2channel]

: A Japanese imageboard that was actually the original inspiration for 4chan.

; [https://www.craigslist.org/about/sites Craigslist]

: A classified advertisement website with sections devoted to just about everything... which formerly included prostitution services, hence The Former Site of Adult Services

In the zoomed-in map, there is the following:

; [https://www.4chan.org/ 4chan.org]

: This is an {{w|imageboard}} in which people can upload pictures while others comment on them. The website is infamous for its loose/often non-existent rules, incredibly vulgar userbase, source of new memes, and spawning of trolls. 4chan's random board, known internally as '''/b/''', is almost constantly flooded with porn and image macros. This is why Randall's incarnation of 4chan is roughly shaped like a penis.

; 420chan and 7chan

: Other imageboards in the style of 4chan. Their relative lack of popularity and derivative nature leads a lot of 4chan users to mock them, hence, their position on Randall's map suggests that they're mere wads of semen.

; Encyclopedia Dramatica

: Labeled ED on the map, is a wiki site dedicated to chronicling internet memes and other noteworthy sites, events, people, and anything else that catches their attention, generally in a very satirical manner. The site is heavily populated by 4chan users. Many people are offended by the articles and talks that go on in the wiki and forum, which is perhaps the reason that it appears to be represented as a wad of sperm. The image of sperm also makes sense since ED is used as a messaging center for the group "[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_(group) Anonymous]" which is represented in the map as part of the testicles of the 4chan island(see below at the gulf named Anonymous).

; Tunnel to Habbo

: A reference to [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pools-closed the 2006 Habbo Hotel Raids], in which hundreds of 4chan Anons simultaneously logged onto Habbo Hotel and proceeded to be as obnoxious as possible, standing in formations of swastikas and penises or body-blocking the swimming pools.

; {{w|Catbus}} Route

: This is likely a reference to {{w|Lolcat}}s in general.

; [https://www.ebaumsworld.com/ eBaum's World]

: A media-hosting website founded by Eric Bauman. The site has lost a lot of traffic after (quite valid) accusations of stolen content.

; The gulf labeled {{w|Anonymous (group)|Anonymous}}

: This is most likely a reference to the leaderless, anonymous international network called "[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_(group) Anonymous]" which is composed of (mainly) anarchic activist hackers. Anonymous was created on the /b/ messaging board of 4chan, hence why the bay of Anonymous is on the coast of /b/. Also, the fact that the bay is in the "testicles"(/b/) of the 4chan island "penis" is referring to how Anonymous was created on 4chan, in the same way that sperm is created in the testicles of a penis, possibly a subtle jab at the group.

To the south and east is an archipelago of islands representing various regional and special-interest forums. Moving clockwise from 4chan island is

; Storm 2K

: This is an online website hosting information on tropical cyclones and tools for tracking them, and has a forum with multiple categories and threads for discussion on tropical cyclones, as well as multiple tropical cyclone models and reconnaissance information.

; Skyscraper city

: This is an internet forum website for skyscraper hobbyists and enthusiasts.

An island containing two websites related to women, namely

; Wizaz.pl

: A Polish website, presumably for women, with a forum filled with discussions mainly about beauty, health, women, hobbies, and fun.

; Baby and bump

: A self-described "pregnancy forum, baby and parenting community".

An island contaning:

; ForoCoches

: A very popular Spanish (as in from Spain) forum mainly about automobiles, but holds discussions on virtually any topic.

; Bodybuilding.com

: A website for bodybuilders. It contains a forum for general discussions on bodybuilding that includes topics such as supplements, exercises, and nutrition.

; Bokt.nl

: It calls itself the largest community on the topic of horses. A Dutch website, it holds topics about virtually anything involving horses.

; Cruise Critic

: A website with a large forum about cruises in general.

; Lay it low

: A website for discussing lowriding(changing a car so that its ground clearance go lower than the clearance of the original design from the manufacturer.

; [https://www.twoplustwo.com/ Two plus two]

: A poker & gambling forum

An island containing:

; [https://www.facethejury.us/ Face the jury]

: This is an online forum, originally founded for users to upload pictures of themselves to be judged by other users

A smaller nearby island is Datalounge

An island containing gaming-related sites:

* D2JSP

* EA UK

* Gametrailers

Smaller islands next to the D2JSP island are

* Steam powered

* World of players

* Nedgaf

* Overclock

A smaller island of regional and special-interest forums:

; [https://digitalspy.com/ Digital Spy]

: A British media and entertainment news service

; [https://www.onliner.by/ onliner.by]

: A Belarusian digital technology forum

Zona Ford

; [https://lowyat.net/ lowyat]

: A large Malaysian technology forum

; [https://www.macrumors.com/ MacRumors]

: An Apple news and discussion site

Adjacent to this, an island labelled

; [https://forums.whirlpool.net.au/ Whirlpool Forums]

: A large Australian broadband and technology forum. The drawing reflects Australia being an island continent separated from other countries.

An island made up of several European forums:

; [https://www.jlaforums.com/ JLA Forums]

: JLA Forums

; [https://www.fok.nl/ fok.nl]

: A Dutch forum site that is one of the largest internet communities in the Netherlands

; [https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/ The Student Room]

: A British forum and wiki for secondary and tertiary students

; [https://www.boards.ie/ boards.ie]

: "Now Ye're talking", a popular Irish forum site

; [https://www.forum.hr/ forum.hr]

: A Croatian forum

; rus-chat

: Possibly a reference to [https://rus-chat.de/ rus-chat.de]

The largest single-site island is [https://www.somethingawful.com/ SomethingAwful], a website that is meant to showcase all things "awful". SomethingAwful also has a large trollbase, but they tend to be more honorable than the ones from Encyclopedia Dramatica and 4chan. One example is there being a spotty holding of the no-furries rule in the forums. The forums themselves are famous because of the holding of the Let's Plays of [https://lparchive.org/Dangan-Ronpa/ Dangan Ronpa] and [https://danganronpa2mirror.tumblr.com/ Super Dangan Ronpa 2], which had cooked up public interest to the point of there being an English-language release of the games. (Note that, due to these Let's Plays being in a forums that frequently hides behind a "paywall" that requires a paid account before accessing, the links provided go to their mirrors.)

==Transcript==
:'''Map of Online Communities'''
:Size on map represents volume of Daily Social activity (posts, chat, etc). Based on data gathered over the Spring and Summer of 2010.

:[Two insets on the upper left-hand corner shows that this map is a tiny portion of the huge continent of Spoken Language, encompassing portions of the Internet, Email, and Cell Phones (SMS).]

:[The largest landmass on the map by far, which takes up nearly the entire northern half of the map is "Facebook" - with large states in the south-east of the country labeled 'Farmville' and 'Happy Farm'. There is a much smaller state to the west of these called 'Farm Town'. To the north of these states is a large swath of unremarkable land entitled 'Northern Wasteland of Unread Updates.' This is directly north of the large Dopamine Sea.

:A peninsula on the south-west, just below the Plains of Awkwardly Public Family Interactions, houses many tiny states, such as MySpace, Orkut, LinkedIn, Bebo, & Hi5. It is bordered on the south by Buzzword Bay, which contains several islands of varying sizes. Among these are YouTube and Twitter (the largest), which are separated by the Social Media Consultant Channel. To the south-east of Twitter, across the Sea of Protocol Confusion, is another, equally large island. Most of it is Skype, with the north having two largish states called AIM and Windows Live Messenger. On the south-west part of the island are two smaller states called GG and Yahoo Messenger.

:The Island of Skype is extremely close to, but separated by the Great Firewall (a dashed line), the large landmass of QQ. It's north shore is the Gulf of China and Grass Mud Horse Bay. Outside of these bays, over the Great Firewall are two islands called Craigslist and 2Channel.

:In the Dopamine Sea, off the southern shores of Farmville and Happy Farm, is MMO Isle. Its largest state is WoW, with Runescape, Lineage, Maple Story, Habbo, and the Mountains of Steam among its notable landmarks. To the southeast of the island is the Gulf of Lag, in which sits the CDC Games island, with Eve Online.

:To the east of Twitter is Troll Bay, with such islands as Reddit and Reddit, Digg, Stumbleupon, Delicio.us, and Wikipedia Talk Pages. To their south are the IRC isles, of which one is the tiny island of #xkcd.

:East of these islands, and north of Skype island, is the Sea of Memes. In this sea, to the north of Craigslist and 2Channel, is an archipelago of tiny islands. There is an inset, labeled 'Forums.' (See below.)

:To the southwest of Twitter island, in the Sea of Opinions, are the blog islands. These lie south of the islands in Buzzword Bay, as well. The northernmost islands in this group are centered around the Bay of Drama, on which can be found Diary Blogs, Gossip Blogs, and Livejournal. Gossip Blogs share an island with Political, Music, and Tech Blogs. To the north of this island is a smaller island called Photo Blogs. South of Diary Blogs, and off the southwest coast of Music blogs is a smaller island called Fandom Blogs. South of Tech Blogs, off of which sprouts the small peninsula of Business Blogs, is the Spamblog Straits. On the other side of the straits is a large island made up of Miscellaneous Blogs, with two states demarcated as Religious Blogs and Blog Blogs. Southwest of the Blog Islands is the Sea of Zero (0) Comments.]

:[An inset of a group of islands in the sea of memes located on the lower right corner of the map, labeled 'Forums'. The largest by far is 4chan and /b/. Also found here are D2JSP, JLA Frums, Fan Forum, Something Awful, and many smaller ones, too numerous to list here.]

:[The northeastern third of Gossip/Political/Tech Blogs island is another inset labeled 'Blogosphere (Core)'. This can be found on the lower left corner of the map. Two peninsulas in Political Blogs bookend the Bay of Flame -- these are Liberal Blogs and Conservative Blogs. Between them lie several tiny islands such as Politics Daily, CNN Politcal Ticker, and Mediaite. Off the coast of Liberal Blogs lies the island of NYTimes, off the coast of Conservative Blogs is Libertarian Isle. Between the two lies The Talk. The northern peninsula of Tech Blogs contains places such as Gizmodo, Engadget, Joystiq, and Kotaku.]

:[Text found between the two insets, which are directly below the main map.]
:ABOUT THIS MAP
:Communities rise and fall, and total membership numbers are no longer a good measure of a community's current size and health. This updated map uses size to represent total social activity in a community -- that is, how much talking, playing, sharing, or other socializing happens there. This meant some comparing of apples and oranges, but I did my best and tried to be consistent.

:Estimates are based on the numbers I could find, but involved a great deal of guesswork, statistical inference, random sampling, nonrandom sampling, a 20,000-cell spreadsheet, emailing, cajoling, tea-leaf reading, goat sacrifices, and gut instinct (i.e. making things up).

:Sources of data include Google and Bing, Wikipedia, Alexa, Big-Boards.com, StumbleUpon, Wordpress, Akismet, every website statistics page I could find, press releases, news articles, and individual site employees. Thanks in particular to folks at Last.fm, LiveJournal, Reddit, and the New York Times, as well as sysadmins at a number of sites who shared statistics on condition of anonymity.

==Trivia==
This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20220125023117/https://store.xkcd.com/products/online-communities-poster available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics sharing name|Online Communities]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Rickrolling]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]
[[Category:Sysadmins]]
[[Category:Disney]]
[[Category:Online Communities]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)

2026-03-31T17:06:21Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number =822
| date =November 22, 2010
| title =Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)
| image =guest week jeph jacques questionable content.png
| titletext =Guest comic by Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content, whose internal monologue hasn't been speaking to him for the past three years.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic starts with [[Cueball]]'s internal dialogue telling him what he's been thinking for some time now — that the girl he's looking at is so beautiful she seems unapproachable, and "what could she ever see in a guy like you", and typical fears that a guy has that prevents him from talking to a pretty girl.

Only to be interrupted by the ''girl's'' internal monologue, who introduces herself to Cueball's internal monologue and asks if he'd like to get a cup of coffee. As the internal monologues pair off and leave, they criticize the people whom they've been serving for so long, saying that they're made for one another, if only one of them would have the guts to start talking to the other.

The comic was guest-written by ''[http://questionablecontent.net Questionable Content]'' webcomic artist {{w|Jeph Jacques}}, whose romantic comedy series has lasted, as of 2025, more than 21 years and 5400 strips. The comic follows the vertical panel style typical of Questionable Content. But the art here is more in the [[xkcd]] style, showing only stick figures.{{spoiler|The following paragraph reveals some important plot details of the ''[http://questionablecontent.net Questionable Content]'' webcomic. If you don’t want to be spoiled, skip this paragraph.}}This comic may be a reference to Marten and Faye, two characters from Questionable Content. Marten meets Faye in QC #3 but is too shy to talk to her. Faye is less shy and introduces herself to Marten. Later, Marten and Faye are living together and have a crush for each other, but they don't get together because Faye is afraid of relationships since her father killed himself.

''Guest Week'' was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. 
The five comics are:
*[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
*[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
*[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
*[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
*[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]

==Transcript==
:[A girl is sitting on a bench, reading a book. There is a tree. Far away, Cueball has a backpack on.]
:Cueball's thought bubble: There she is. The most beautiful girl you've ever seen.

:[The focus is on the girl on the bench.]
:Cueball's thought bubble: Every day you take this route to class, she's sitting on that bench, reading.

:[It goes even closer to her face.]
:Cueball's thought bubble: You'd introduce yourself, but you wouldn't know what to say. Besides, she's way out of your league.

:[Back to the full panel.]
:Cueball's thought bubble: What chance could an average guy like you have with such a radiant-
:Girl's thought bubble: Hey.

:[The girl looks up at her thought bubble with a question mark over her head.]
:Cueball's thought bubble: E-Excuse me?
:Girl's thought bubble: I said hey. You come by here a lot.

:[The girl looks over at Cueball, who is scratching his head at his thought bubble.]
:Cueball's thought bubble: Oh, uh, yeah. On the way to class.
:Girl's thought bubble: Wanna skip class and go get a coffee?

:[Cueball is pondering what's happening.]
:Cueball's thought bubble: Sure, I'd - I'd like that a lot.
:Girl's thought bubble: Great, let's ditch these losers.
:Girl: Hey!

:[The thought bubbles are behind Cueball now, moving away.]
:Cueball's thought bubble: Man, I gotta tell you, I'm SICK of being that guy's internal monologue! So whiny!
:Girl's thought bubble: Seriously! I swear, he and Little Miss Daddy Issues over there were made for each other.

:[The two look at each other silently.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Guest Week]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)

2026-03-31T17:06:02Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 823
| date = November 23, 2010
| title = Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)
| image = guest_week_david_troupes_buttercup_festival.png
| titletext = Guest comic by David Troupes of Buttercup Festival, who is living in that lovely tree outside your window.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a commentary on relationships. [[Megan]] is perfectly happy sitting on the moon without a spacesuit (which is impossible){{Citation needed}} with [[Cueball]], the person she loves. Cueball, however, has his experience ruined when he notices a former bully of his passing by below. After hitting the bully with a rock that he shoots from the moon with his [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/2981:_Slingshots slingshot], he can share in Megan's happiness. (This is practically impossible as well. To start, the rock would most likely fall back down unless Cueball could throw it at escape velocity, but the precision required for such a throw would be extreme, and he would need to account for the movement of the Earth and Moon, as well as the Earth's rotation. Even if accounting for all of that, it would very likely disintegrate in Earth's atmosphere.)

[http://www.buttercupfestival.com/ David Troupes] is the author of the webcomic {{w|Buttercup Festival}}.

''Guest Week'' was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. 
The five comics are:
*[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
*[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
*[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
*[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
*[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Cueball are leaning against each other, sitting on top of a giant moon in a black, star dotted sky. Trees are visible on the bottom of the panel.]

:[The scene broadens.]
:Megan: I've never been so happy. I—
:Cueball: Hold on—that guy used to dump my notebooks in high school. Give me a moment. Try to keep the moon steady.

:[A rock hits a Cueball on the ground on the back of the head.]

:[The guy falls and clutches the back of his head.]

:[Back to the moon again, where Cueball is leaning his head against Megan while holding a slingshot.]
:Cueball: I've never been so happy.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Guest Week]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)

2026-03-31T17:05:50Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 824
| date = November 24, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)
| image = guest_week_bill_amend_foxtrot.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Bill Amend of FoxTrot, an inspiration to all us nerdy-physics-majors-turned-cartoonists, of which there are an oddly large number.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Bill Amend}}, author of the newspaper comic ''{{w|FoxTrot}}'', draws for [[Randall]] in this special '[[:Category:Guest Week|Guest Week]]' edition of [[xkcd]]. In the first two panels, we see {{w|List_of_FoxTrot_characters#Jason_Fox|Jason Fox}}, a geeky 10-year-old from Amend's strip. Jason asks to draw comics for Randall. When Randall refuses, he uses the {{w|sudo}} command, used in {{w|Unix}} systems to perform an action as an administrator/super user. This forces Randall to agree. This is a reference to the very popular comic [[149: Sandwich]], which has now become a geek culture catch-phrase.

It is a recurring theme in ''FoxTrot'' for Jason to offer to make substitute comics for artists, said comics usually involving mocking his sister Paige, and it is possible that Ponytail is representing her. This would be the first time that someone accepted his offers to make comics.

In the first comic, [[Cueball]] is making a pun on the word {{Wiktionary|attractive}}. In the first context it means a person is "good looking" or "beautiful" which the female character attributes to her hair. In Cueball's context, he means that he is feeling an increased gravitational pull from the woman, due to her increase in mass (see {{w|Gravitation}}). This setup is also very typical of the Jason Fox character, who, ostensibly ten, is supposed to be too young to like girls. The female character's hair is done up in a ponytail similar to how Paige usually keeps hers, so this comic strip may also be a joke at Paige's expense.

In 1927 {{w|Werner Heisenberg}} postulated his eponymous {{w|Uncertainty principle|Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle}}, which roughly states that in {{w|quantum mechanics}} one cannot know both the position and momentum of a particle. The joke is that (presumably) Elisabeth Heisenberg does not know the position of her keys, because she knows too much about their momentum. (This is also the subject of [[1473: Location Sharing]].)

In many {{w|parliament}}ary and {{w|congress}}ional halls it is customary, when calling an issue to vote to have the people who want the issue at hand to be passed to say out loud that they agree. The customary response to this is to say "aye." The dissenters are then asked. Their response would be "nay" or "no". Then the volume (by rough {{w|decibel}}s) of the assenters and dissenters are weighed. If it is close, a more formal vote may be called. "Aye" is pronounced the same way as the letter "i" and "''i''" is the mathematical value of the square root of negative one, which can be used to represent an {{w|imaginary number}}.

The title text of this comic draws attention to the fact that there are a number of notable people who have become famous as cartoonists, but also hold degrees in physics or have a strong interest in physics. This might seem unusual, because the average person might see physics and art as incompatible, and this is why Randall writes "an oddly large number." These people include:
* Randall Munroe, the writer of xkcd, has a degree in physics from Christopher Newport University.
* Bill Amend, the creator of [http://www.foxtrot.com/ Foxtrot], majored in physics at Amherst College.
* Zach Weinersmith, who writes the webcomic [http://www.smbc-comics.com/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal], majored in physics at San Jose State University.
* Henry Reich is the creator of the web video series [http://www.youtube.com/user/minutephysics MinutePhysics], and studied physics and mathematics at Grinnell College.
* Paul G. Hewitt is a physicist and [http://www.conceptualphysics.com/ author of physics textbooks]. His textbooks contain a number of cartoons, drawn by Hewitt himself, to help illustrate physics concepts.
* Arryn Diaz writes the webcomic [http://dresdencodak.com/ Dresden Codak], and majored in physics (among several other things) before dropping out. Her comics frequently reference ideas and experiments in physics.
* Larry Gonick is a cartoonist who has published [http://www.harpercollins.co.uk/search-results?contributor=larry-gonick a number of educational comic books], including The Cartoon Guide to Physics.
* Bud Grace, the creator of the comic [http://piranhaclubcomics.com/ Piranha Club] (previously known as Ernie) holds a PhD in nuclear physics. He has been making the comic since 1988.
* Darren 'Gav' Bleuel, the creator of [http://nukees.com/ Nukees], is himself a nuclear engineer.

''Guest Week'' was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. 
The five comics are:
*[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
*[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
*[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
*[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
*[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]

==Transcript==
:[Jason from FoxTrot is sitting at an artist's desk with a pencil, holding a phone.]
:Jason: Hi, Mr. Munroe? I have a great idea! Let me draw some strips for you!
:Randall, through the telephone: Fat chance, kid.

:[Zoom in to Jason.]
:Jason: Sudo let me draw some strips for you.

:[The following are transcripts of three strips.]

:[Cueball and Ponytail are looking at each other.]
:Cueball: I find you more attractive than usual.
:Ponytail: You do? Is it my new haircut?

:[Zoom in to Cueball.]
:Cueball: Actually, I think it's all the weight you've been putting on. Your gravitational pull is pretty severe.

:[Cueball is now alone in the panel.]
:Cueball: Just sayin'.

:[Two people are in a living room. The woman is looking through a chest of drawers.]
:At home with the Heisenbergs
:Mrs. Heisenberg: I can't find my car keys.
:Mr. Heisenberg: You probably know too much about their momentum.

:[Congress is in session. The Speaker is standing on stage in front of an American Flag hanging by an ionic column, holding up a gavel. Seven Members of Congress are seen in front of the stage: a Cueball, a Hairbun, a man with glasses, a woman with long hair, and three more Cueballs. The first, fourth, and sixth members have their hands raised.]
:Caption: Why mathematicians should run for Congress
:Speaker: All those in favor of the bill say "aye."
:Congressman #1: Aye.
:Congresswoman #2: Aye.
:Congress–Mathematician: √-1

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Guest Week]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)

2026-03-31T17:05:10Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 825
| date = November 25, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)
| image = guest_week_jeffrey_rowland_overcompensating.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Jeffrey Rowland of Overcompensating/Wigu. Jeffrey is famous as the picture on the Wikipedia article on 'Necrosis'.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] himself (looking like [[Black Hat]]) is talking to {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}} (sitting with a drink), who writes the popular webcomics [http://www.overcompensating.com Overcompensating] and [http://www.wigucomics.com/adventures/index.php Wigu]. That it is supposed to be these two real people is clear from the [http://xkcd.com/825/info.0.json official transcript] on xkcd.

This may be a reference to Scott Adams' {{w|God's Debris}}, in which a delivery guy has a long conversation about the nature of the universe with an old man. While often dealing with complex questions, the old man in the story presents arguments in a very straightforward way. Some have called some of the arguments in the book very clever and original, albeit overly simplistic. This comic could be a parody on that style of philosophy. The ridiculous theory of Jeffrey's about the correlation between Dark Matter and consciousness is perhaps a reference to Dust in author Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials series, in which Dust is the associated particle with the Rusakov "consciousness" field, interpreted in our universe as Dark Matter. He then postulates that the reason we can't see dark matter is that we are conscious ourselves, alluding to the urban legend that, much like how a watched pot never boils, the mailman will never deliver if you are watching. He then moves on to the subject of ghosts, perpetuating the idea of how far-flung and implausible his "theories" are.

Traditionally, {{w|turkey (meat)|turkey}} is the main dish of the U.S. {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving}} holiday. Thus, the theory mentioned in the last panel is that {{w|Turkey (animal)|turkeys}} started the holiday in order to drive themselves to extinction. This is a reference to the {{w|Voluntary Human Extinction Movement}} (which merely advocated for people not reproducing. The "Turkey Voluntary Extinction Movement" took this to a much higher level by promoting the mass slaughter of turkeys.)

The title text is completely true: After a brown recluse spider bit him, {{w|Jeffrey Rowland|Rowland}} started experiencing cell death in his leg. Although the wound itself is benign, it still is featured in Wikipedia articles (such as {{w|Loxoscelism}}). [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rowland_recluse_bite.jpg This] is the picture of the leg and [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Necrotic_leg_wound.png this] is the famous picture in the Necrosis article.

''Guest Week'' was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. 
The five comics are:
*[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
*[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
*[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
*[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
*[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]

==Transcript==
:[Jeffrey Rowland and Randall wearing a black hat are sitting together. There is a big globe between them. Mr. Rowland has a drink with a small umbrella over it.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: But enough of my theories about Thanksgiving. The ''real'' reason we're here is to discuss my hypothesis that dark matter ''itself'' is what consciousness is made of...

:[The frame focuses on Jeffrey Rowland.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: Unobservable to anything that is itself conscious in much the same way the mail-man won't deliver your mail if you are watching the mail-box

:[Mr. Rowland raises his drink. The globe is now much smaller than in the first frame.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: Which brings us to my theory about ghosts-
:Randall Munroe: Wait did you just say Thanksgiving was invented by the ''Turkey Voluntary Extinction Movement?''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Guest Week]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Holidays]]
[[Category:Ghosts]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)

2026-03-31T17:04:54Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 826
| date = November 26, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)
| image = guest week zach weiner smbc.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Zach Weiner of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. When I was stressed out, Zach gave me a talk that was really encouraging and somehow involved nanobots.
}}
{{TOC}}To experience the interactivity of this comic, visit the {{xkcd|826|original comic}}.

==Explanation==
This comic is drawn by a guest webcomic artist, Zach Weiner (now Weinersmith), following the theme of "Guest Week". Zach is the author of the webcomic [http://www.smbc-comics.com/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]. The [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ original comic] is interactive. It will show images of the exhibits (see below) by clicking on them.

The entire comic is a hypothetical "{{w|Smithsonian Museum}} of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children, represented here as [[Kidball|Kidballs]], for amusement." It is a common occurrence that curious children will ask simple questions about science to their parents, such as, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" and a parent could respond, "Well Susie, the sky is blue to match your dress."

''Guest Week'' was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. 
The five comics are:
*[[822: Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)]]
*[[823: Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)]]
*[[824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)]]
*[[825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)]]
*[[826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)]]

===Hall of Misunderstood Science===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about scientific topics. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_27.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that basilisks exist, and that they live under your bed. The {{w|basilisk}} is a mythological reptilian monster that was described as having the ability to kill other living things with its gaze. This story might be believed by children because children often imagine that a monster or a dangerous creature is hiding under the bed at night, and verifying that the basilisk is under the bed and might kill the child would likely terrify the child.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_26.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that "In my day" molecules did not exist, and everything was just atoms. Molecules are chains of atoms, and therefore more complex than atoms. This story might be believed by children because old people often tell unbelievable and questionably credible "In my day" stories about how different, or in this case less complicated, things when they where younger. This story may sound no less credible than these stories to a child. Like most "In my day" stories there is at least a grain of truth. The word atom has changed its meaning over time; at one time all discovered molecules were called {{w|atomism|atoms}}, as when they were modified their properties change. Also, according to the {{w|Big Bang}} theory, there was a period billions of years ago when the universe contained no molecules, yet still contained atoms.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_25.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that magnets are only attracted to each other when they are teenagers. This is an inside joke that the child is not in on about how there is a loss of sexual desire in adults. This story might be believed because magnets are seen as mysterious and possibly magical by children.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_24.png|In this exhibit the plaque on the statue of Jesus claims that {{w|snow}} is composed of Jesus' {{w|dandruff}}. This story might be believed because some children take the expression that {{w|rain}} is "God's tears", and this would be a logical extension.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_20.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the reason that there are only four components of {{w|DNA}} is because there where only four letters back then. The following letters describe the {{w|nucleotides}} that make up DNA chains: "G" {{w|guanine}}, "A" {{w|adenine}}, "T" {{w|thymine}}, and "C" {{w|cytosine}}. This story might be believed by children as DNA can be thought as an instruction set to build life. Instructions contain words, and therefore the letters G, A, T, and C can be thought of as the letters that the words in the instructions are made from.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_23.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that you are more vulnerable to the {{w|Bogeyman|boogie man}} when you are sleeping. "The Boogie Man" is a common legend used to scare young kids; he typically hides in closets and underneath beds, and attacks sleeping children. This story might be believed by children as some believe in the boogie man.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_22.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that water increases its size to frighten {{w|predator|predators}}. {{w|Ice}} is less dense than liquid {{w|water}}. This is an unusual property as most materials are more dense in solid form. This might be believed by a child because many animals appear to increase their size to frighten away other threatening animals. A {{w|rhinoceros}}, although not traditionally a predator, would be a predator of water.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_21.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|antimatter|anti-matter}} is composed of half {{w|ant}} and half matter. The prefix ''{{Wiktionary|anti-}}'' means "the opposite of", but also can sound like ''ant-y''. The suffix ''{{Wiktionary|-y}}'' would make ''anty'' a neologism meaning "having the quality of or involving ants". Children might believe that matter involving ants could in fact be composed of both ants and matter. Antimatter is also referenced in [[683: Science Montage]], [[1621: Fixion]] and [[1731: Wrong]] as well as being the subject of the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' ''{{what if|114|Antimatter}}''. It was also mentioned in another ''what if?'': ''{{what if|79|Lake Tea}}''.
</gallery>

===Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience===
This section holds falsehoods that a dad might use to frighten his children. Fear is often used to discourage children from disobeying their parents. It is an interactive experience, so visitors can try something for themselves, then learn the frightening fact it indicates.

<gallery widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_19.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that helium makes your voice higher because you are about to explode. Helium makes your voice high-pitched, because sound travels faster in helium than in air (79% nitrogen and 21% oxygen), and it does not explode because it is a noble gas; although it could rupture containers in accordance with the {{w|combined gas law}}, which governs the relationship between pressure, temperature and volume: i.e. if a balloon is over-inflated or exposed to heat, it will burst. This story might be used by parents to discourage children from inhaling helium. This story might regrettably convince a child that they are dying after they inhale helium. On the other hand, it can be dangerous to inhale helium from a gas container if the pressure is too high. So maybe better scared than dead.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_18.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that if your middle finger is longer than all the others, you are an alien half-breed. For almost all people the middle finger is longer than all the others. This story might be used by parents to tease their children. This story might regrettably convince a child that one of their parents is an alien, and therefore not to be trusted. Another possibility is that everyone is an alien half-breed, and therefore, their progeny are also alien half-breeds.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_16.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that one of the cups of {{w|Jell-O|Jello}} had a rabbit brain instead of a cherry. Cherries are a common ingredient in gelatin based deserts. One cup is missing and in the hands of the child, possibly eaten. This story might be used by parents to tease their children, or discourage them from eating more dessert. This story might regrettably convince a child that they ate the brain of a small cute fluffy animal.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_17.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that monsters will eat you if you do not make your bed. In some stories monsters specifically prey on children. This story might be used by parents to encourage children to make their beds. It also might regrettably convince a child that there are monsters under their beds and frighten them so they can not sleep.
</gallery>

===Concessions===
This area holds concession stands, which sell food. There are misleading names on each stand. The pop-outs in this section are based on jokes parents tell their children to frighten them about food.

<gallery widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_15.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces the name of the concession stand as KFP. The parent claims that the "P" stands for phoenix, and the operator adds "also ponies". KFP is a parody of Kentucky Fried Chicken ({{w|KFC}}), a popular fast food chain which specializes in fried chicken. A phoenix is a mythical bird that throws it self into a fire and later rises from the ashes. This story might be believed by children because phoenixes are birds and a fried one may look similar to a chicken.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_14.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ground beef}} and further explains that ground beef is beef that is found on the ground. The word "ground" here refers to the floor or dirt, but can also be the past tense of the word "grind". This story might be believed by children because the words are spelled and pronounced the same.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_13.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ice cream}} and claims that ice cream is really spelled eyes cream, and always composed of eyeballs. This story might be believed by children because the words "eyes cream" sounds similar to "ice cream".
</gallery>

===Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about history. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_11.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Genghis Khan}} achieved his victories by using dragons. Genghis Khan was a Mongolian conqueror who conquered almost all of Asia and much of Europe founding the {{w|Mongol Empire}}, and creating the largest continuous land empire in history. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_12.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the {{w|Crimean War}} was a war on crime. The Crimean War is an often forgotten Eastern European conflict between Russia and a European coalition (including France, which the comic also pretends doesn't exist) with aims to stop Russia's expansion. This story might be believed by children because adding an "a" to a people group sometimes is used to create a country name, making Crimea sounds similar to a nation of criminals. Also worth noting is that the criminal depicted in the mural appears to be the {{w|Hamburglar}}, a McDonald's mascot.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_10.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that wizards were in control during {{w|The Renaissance}}. The Renaissance is a cultural movement in Europe that took place after the Dark Ages. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_3.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Star Wars}} is actual history. Star Wars is a fantastical science fiction movie. This story might be believed by children because the movie begins "a long time ago in a galaxy far away", and some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy. The "veteran" presented here appears to be wearing a fake beard as part of his costume.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_9.png|In this exhibit the poster claims that {{w|France}} does not exist. The adult in the comic continues to attempt to convince the children that France does not exist. This is supposed to be funny because the knowledge of France as a country is common. This may be parodying the global warming debate, a common theme in both XKCD and SMBC. It may also be a reference to the {{w|Bielefeld Conspiracy}}.
</gallery>

===Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics===
Each exhibit is a display set up to explain uncomfortable topics that children may ask their parents about. The answers given so that the children do not ask further questions.

<gallery widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_8.png|In this exhibit the sign on the box covering up a couple in bed claims that naked wrestling is perfectly normal, but kids should never engage in it. "Naked wrestling" is a euphemism for sex. A parent may give this explanation if a child walks in on their parents having sex and they have to come up with an explanation on the spot, or they feel that the children are too young to know about sex.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_7.png|In this exhibit the sign over the stand claims your parents drink alcohol to prevent you from drinking it as alcohol is a poison. This is technically true, as alcohol is a toxin. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks their parents why they drink alcohol if it is bad for you, and did not want to explain the pleasurable experience of alcohol because it might encourage children to drink.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_5.png|In this exhibit the banner claims that mommies have big tummies because storks like chubby girls. According to some childhood stories storks deliver babies. Also, there are men who prefer heavy women; these men are often called chubby chasers. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks why, if a stork delivers babies, their mother is changing while she is pregnant, and the parent continues to try to avoid the topic of sex.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_6.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that grandma did not die, but is going back to Saturn. The choice of Saturn as grandma's destination is appropriate because the god Saturn was associated with aging, as in "Saturn, the Bringer of Old Age" from ''{{w|The Planets}}''. Some parents tell their children that their loved ones have gone away instead of telling them the truth, that their loved ones are dead. Going to Saturn "for revenge" is added for comic value. A parent may give this explanation to avoid causing their child pain.
</gallery>

===Miscellaneous===
<gallery widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_4.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|dinosaur|dinosaurs}} are made of bones only. The fossil record includes the imprints of the other tissues of dinosaurs including skin, nails, teeth, and feathers. This story might be believed by children because the majority of all displays of dinosaurs in museums only include bones.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_2.png|The restrooms have 3 doors. Clicking reveals that there the two standard gendered restrooms found in the majority of public buildings, and another one for "Korgmen & Spangs" which does not correspond to any known human trait. This could be a reference to the Marvel alien species {{w|Korg_(comics)|the Korg}}.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_1.png|In this exhibit the sign (which the children can not see) explains that the "{{w|Magic Eye}} poster" contains no hidden images. Magic Eye is a company that sells {{w|autostereogram}}s in books. Autostereograms contain a "hidden" three-dimensional image that can only be seen by converging one's eyes towards a point other than upon the poster itself. This takes time and many people find it difficult or impossible to do.
</gallery>

==Transcript==
:In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum:
:The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling
:An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement

:(Click to view exhibits!)

:The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.

:Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children.
:Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.

:Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together.
:Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.

:Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both.
:Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.

:Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him.
:Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!

:Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened.
:Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.

:Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere.
:Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.

:Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it.
:Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then.
:Dad, to child: Told you so.

:Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling.
:Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!

:The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.

:Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed.
:Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.

:Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it.
:Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.

:Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder.
:Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.

:Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed.
:Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.

:The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.

:Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating.
:Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".

:Booth: A concession stand.
:Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground.
:Dad, to child: Told you.

:Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye.
:Booth label: EYES CREAM
:Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled?
:Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.

:The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon.
:Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.

:Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows.
:Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.

:Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it.
:Exhibit label: The Renaissance
:Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.

:Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard.
:Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously.
:Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.

:The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label.
:Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.

:Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle.
:Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it.
:Dad: You're welcome.

:Exhibit: A large bird.
:Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.

:Exhibit: A rocket ship.
:Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.

:In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.

:Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton.
:Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES.
:Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.

:Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines.
:Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right.
:Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.

:Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign.
:First door (male logo): Men & Boys
:Second door (female logo): Women & Girls
:Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs

{{comic discussion}}
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851: Na

2026-03-31T17:04:42Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 851
| date = January 24, 2011
| title = Na
| image = na.png
| titletext = I hear that there are actual lyrics later on in Land of 1,000 Dances, but other than the occasional 'I said,' I've never listened long enough to hear any of them.
}}
The image links to [https://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/ a better version] of this comic, see the [[#Trivia|trivia section]].

==Explanation==
The repetition of the syllable "na" is often used to sing a tune without using any of the actual words. While this is normally done to practice or demonstrate a tune, repeated "na"s are also a part of some songs' lyrics, as shown in this comic. Following the various paths of the diagram forms the words of several well-known tunes, with each song branching off after the appropriate number of "na"s.

The top entry refers to the song "{{w|Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye}}," originally recorded by {{w|Steam_(band)|Steam}}. The tune is often sung by the home fans of American sporting events at the end of a victory as a means of taunting the away team. The left bottom entry refers to the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jgE-lrfZ3k theme song] of the '60s TV show, written by Neil Hefti. ''{{w|Batman (TV series)|Batman}}''. The middle bottom entry refers to the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpFFzWPzA2c theme song] of the video game ''{{w|Katamari Damacy}}, '' which was also the cause of the accident in comic [[161: Accident]]. The right bottom entry refers to the song "{{w|Land of a Thousand Dances}}," originally recorded by {{w|Chris Kenner}}. The title text jokes that the tune's incessant repetition of "na" has annoyed [[Randall]] to the point that he does not have the patience to listen to the whole song. This is one of many {{w|Flowchart|flowchart}} comics. A full list can be found [[:Category:Flowcharts|here]].

There are likely countless other songs that uses "Na Na Na" as part of the lyrics. Some will be more popular than others. A very popular song that goes: ''Naaa Naaa Naaa Na Na Na Naaa, Na Na Na Naaaa, Hey Jude'' was left out. {{w|Hey Jude}} must have been brought to Randall's attention after this comic was released, as he made a comment about it in the comic header the day after this comic was released, see [[#Trivia|Trivia]] below.

==Transcript==
:[A flowchart with 11 similar boxes on a line connected with arrows. After 8 there is two branches, one up (with three boxes above the rest of the 11 boxes) and one down to one box. After 10 there is one branch down to a larger box with two lines, and after that the last arrow is longer before reaching the last and 11th box. From this box there is an arrow that loops around to the last box again. This arrow is labeled.]
:Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na
:Up 8 branch:→ Hey → Hey → Goodbye
:Down 8 branch:→ Batman!
:Down 10 branch:→ Katamari Damacy!
:Loop: Land of 1,000 Dances

==Trivia==
The day after after this comic was published, [http://web.archive.org/web/20110125190908/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-25], the following message was posted by [[Randall]] at the [[Design_of_xkcd.com#Header|header]] of xkcd:
:I can't ''believe'' I forgot Hey Jude.
:I don't get do-overs, but I couldn't resist making [https://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/ a fixed version].
This text was only on the front page until the next comic came out [http://web.archive.org/web/20110126223754/http://xkcd.com/ 2011-01-26]. After that it stayed only as a [[Design_of_xkcd.com#Unique_header_text|unique header]] for this comic.
At that time, the standard header text was:
:Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com.
:Protip: Scripts can fetch comics and metadata automatically.
The addition to the diagram refers to the song "{{w|Hey Jude}}," originally recorded by {{w|The Beatles}}.
In this fixed version an extra Na has been inserted between the last two Na's, making the new Na the 11th, now out of 12. From this new 11th Na, there is another down branch that goes → Hey → Jude.
Then the last line to the now 12 Na is no longer much longer than the previously, and the loop arrow is now above instead of below to make space for Jude, and also the text has been moved to the end of the chart instead of below the loop.
The updated comic's URL, "https://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/" is a reference to part of "Hey Jude"'s [https://genius.com/The-beatles-hey-jude-lyrics lyrics]:
:''Take a sad song / And '''make it better'''.''
In the original comic picture "Hey Jude" is still missing, but the original comic has been made into a link to the "make it better" version.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Katamari Damacy]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

865: Nanobots

2026-03-31T17:04:29Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 865
| date = February 25, 2011
| title = Nanobots
| image = nanobots.png
| titletext = I think the IETF hit the right balance with the 128 bits thing. We can fit MAC addresses in a /64 subnet, and the nanobots will only be able to devour half the planet.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Megan]] and [[Ponytail]] are in orbit while nanobots are devouring the Earth in a swarm. This is a take on the "{{w|Grey goo}}" scenario in which self-replicating nanobots destroy the earth while creating more and more of themselves non-stop.

Unusually, however, the nanobots stop after devouring 40% of the planet. This is because each individual nanobot must apparently have a distinct {{w|IPv6}} address, and by running out of possible addresses the nanobots cannot produce any more of themselves. With the tiny size of each nanobot, the total volume they can contain is only 40% of the Earth's mass, and they can no longer continue their consumption of the planet.

IPv6 supports approximately 3.4×1038 addresses, while the {{w|Earth|Earth's mass}} is around 5.972×1024 kg. Assuming "a few cubic microns" is the minimum of 2 µm3 (according to [[1070: Words for Small Sets]]), the nanobots would have a density of 4 g/cm3, a bit less dense than the Earth.

This is a joke on the shortage of IPv4 addresses. The only difference is that we are on {{w|IPv4}} and the nanobots are on {{w|IPv6}}.

1998 is when the [http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc2460 IPv6 Specification (RFC 2460)] was published and IETF is the Internet Engineering Task Force.

Note that an April Fools' joke for [http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1606 IPv9] exists and would have guaranteed Earth's doom in this comic's scenario.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and commander are on a space station.]
:Megan: Commander! Come quick! It's the nanobots—they've ''STOPPED!''

:Megan: They devoured 40% of the Earth, and then just... quit! They're just sitting there! Why?!

:Ponytail: It's a mystery. ...unless... What's the volume of each nanobot?
:Megan: A few cubic microns. Why?
:Ponytail: I think the year 1998 just bought us some time.
:[Earth's surface, covered in mountains of nanobots.]

:In the swarm:
:Nanobot: What do you mean, "Run out of addresses?"
:Other Nanobot: Look, we should've migrated away from IPv6 ''AGES'' ago...

==Trivia==
*On the website, the space above the comic says "xkcd.com now has IPv6 connectivity. If you can't reach it, you or your ISP have misconfigured equipment. Sadly, I now have no way to tell you."

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
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870: Advertising

2026-03-31T17:04:15Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 870
| date = March 9, 2011
| title = Advertising
| image = mathematically annoying.png
| titletext = I remember the exact moment in my childhood when I realized, while reading a flyer, that nobody would ever spend money solely to tell me they wanted to give me something for nothing. It's a much more vivid memory than the (related) parental Santa talk.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic pokes fun at some advertising tricks, analyzing them mathematically.

===First panel===
The phrase "up to 15% or more" is examined, and shows to encompass all real numbers. While intended to entice to customer with savings of 15%, the savings could be lower or even not at all. The phrase ultimately means "less than, equal to, or more than 15%," which is true no matter whether you save anything or not (it's a {{w|Tautology (logic)|tautology}}). The equation at the top of the panel expresses the same thing using {{w|set theory}} notation. It reads out as: The {{w|Union (set theory)|union}} of {{w|Set (mathematics)|sets}} A and B equals the set of all x, such that x is {{w|Inequality (mathematics)|less than or equal to}} 15, or greater than 15, which equals the set of all {{w|real numbers}}.

The same is expressed again with a {{w|number line}}; the numbers being interpreted as {{w|percentages}}. The first range, ending with a black dot, indicates that everything below, as well as the number 15, is included ("up to 15%"). The second range beginning with a white dot indicates that it only includes numbers strictly bigger than 15 ("more than 15%"). The two ranges combined clearly cover the entire number line.

(The way humans interpret language, as well as the realities of economics, makes this expression somewhat more meaningful in practice. No reasonable consumer would experience savings of 0% or less from such a promotion [as they would instead simply stick with whatever they'd been using beforehand], and the phrasing of "up to 15%" as the primary portion of the phrase implies to a human listener that they'd be most likely to get some positive amount of savings between 0% and 15%, with the secondary "or more" interpreted as referring to a lesser chance of a greater reward. Thus, in practice, "up to 15% or more" would be interpreted as meaning that most consumers would be able to realize positive net savings of approaching 15%, with a lucky few getting savings in excess of 15%.)

The phrase "up to 15% or more" may be a reference to the {{w|Geico}} slogan at the time: a phone call lasting "15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance." However the reference is unclear, as the words "''up to'' 15%" are not actually used by Geico. Though Geico's advertising is also referenced in [[42: Geico]].

===Second panel===
Whatever is advertised with a big capital "FREE!" splashed over the ad, most likely does not belong to the things truly free. The small asterisk, indicates the presence of a {{w|fine print}}, ensuring that the advertisers are only [[technically]] not guilty of {{w|false advertising}}. The conditions attached in the fine print typically reveal how they will (try to) make money from you. We are given a formula to calculate the average amount of money they expect to make from the readers. The assumption is that they expect to generate at least as much income from the ad as what they paid to print and publish it in the first place. (It should be noted, however, that, in many, if not most, cases, it ''is'' possible, with some careful examination of the fine print, to partially or completely dodge the seller's attempts to impose ancillary costs.)

===Third panel===
This relates to sales tactics that are based on a scaling percentage rate - for example, all items are 20% off, but if you spend more than $200, you get 30% off instead, and so on. These are almost universally proclaimed with a phrase like "The more you spend, the more you save!" In absolute dollar terms, this is of course nonsense, as "spending" is the opposite of "saving", and the deal is there to make you spend more. The graph shows this interpretation - spending zero money implies you have saved all your money (the dot where it intersects the X axis), whereas spending all your money implies you have saved none (the dot where it intersects the Y axis). There is a linear relationship between the two: the amount of money spent, plus the amount of money saved, has to add up to a constant number (your original savings).

(However, if "the more you spend, the more you save" is interpreted as referring to the proportion of the list price that the consumer now doesn't have to pay due to the ''x''%-off promotion, the expression ''does'' make sense, as the discount ''as a proportion of the list price'' does indeed increase the more you spend. For [relatively-]nonperishable goods, this makes it a good idea to take advantage of these promotions to make large bulk purchases, as the scaling discount rate makes the cost per unit of merchandise lowest for very large purchases, making these a much-more-efficient use of one's money than frequent low-volume purchases [especially as a large proportion of these low-volume purchases would be at times when there was no ongoing promotion, meaning that they wouldn't be able to take advantage of even the lesser discount rate of these promotions].)

The title text compares Randall's realization of the "FREE"-fraud to the revelation that {{w|Santa Claus}} is not real.

==Transcript==
:Mathematically Annoying Advertising:

:A ∪ B = {x:x ≤ 15 or x > 15} = ℝ
:[line graph representing the above equation.]
:When discussing real numbers, it is impossible to get more vague than "up to 15% or more".

:["'''FREE!'''*" in large text, with substantial illegible fine print.]
:If someone has paid $x to have the word "free" typeset for you and N other people to read, their expected value for the money that will move from you to them is at least $(x / (N+1))

:[Graph representing inverse relationship between "amount you spend" on the y axis and "amount you save" on the x axis.]
:It would be difficult for the phrase "the more you spend the more you save" to be more wrong.

==Trivia==
Randall changed the image name for this comic from "advertising.png" to "mathematically_annoying.png", because many adblocking extensions interpreted it as an ad and blocked it. He would suffer from a similar issue three months later with [[906: Advertising Discovery]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

896: Marie Curie

2026-03-31T17:04:01Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 896
| date = May 9, 2011
| title = Marie Curie
| image = marie curie.png
| titletext = Although not permanently.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic begins with [[Ponytail]] stating that her teacher told her that if she worked hard (applied herself) she could be the next {{w|Marie Curie}}. But then a distorted {{w|zombie}} Marie Curie (drawn as zombie [[Hairbun]]) walks in and informs Ponytail that she is not the only influential woman scientist, and would wish people would get over her "as the only important female scientist". She then mentions two other important women in science.

Marie Curie was a pioneering research scientist, most famous for her work with radiation, and in isolating {{w|Radium}}, and {{w|Polonium}}. She died from {{w|aplastic anemia}} contracted from exposure to {{w|radiation}} from either the extremely radioactive isotopes of Radium and Polonium that she would carry around in her pockets, her work with (at the time poorly shielded and high-dose) field x-ray machines as a medic during WW1 — or both. She ends up warning Ponytail against exposure to radium, stating that ''it kills you'', although as the title text points out, obviously not permanently as she came back as a zombie. Showing what just a few years of scientific advancement can do: neither Hahn nor Meitner ever got cancer despite working with radioactive material and both lived to 89 years old. Working with radioactive material and ionizing radiation can be done safely if one takes the right precautions – a view that Curie shared, but unfortunately for her, she did not yet know what those precautions were when she undertook her work. Hence her giving that parting advice.

The conversation between [[Ponytail]] and Zombie Marie Curie refers to the fact that Marie is often singled out as the only significant female scientist. Marie points out that this is a poor version of the truth, for two reasons. Firstly, there have been many other significant female scientists, and secondly, Marie asserts that the most significant events in {{w|theoretical physics}} and {{w|mathematics}} do not arise because of an individuals desire for fame, but from passion for the subject and a great deal of dedication and hard work.

As examples of important women scientists the comic mentions {{w|Lise Meitner}} and {{w|Emmy Noether}}.

Lise Meitner was one of the major contributors in the discovery of nuclear fission for which her male colleague {{w|Otto Hahn}} was awarded a {{w|Nobel Prize}} in 1944. In the process she proved that {{w|Enrico Fermi}} had made some wrong assumptions (ironically the Nobel Academy made the same mistake and awarded Fermi the 1938 Nobel Prize in Physics for something he was wrong about – Fermi had mistaken {{w|fission products}} for {{w|transuranium elements}} as Meitner proved), but he also got a Nobel prize whereas she only got a {{w|National Press Club (United States)|National Women's Press Club}} award as "Woman of the Year" in 1946. As a somewhat late consolation, the element {{w|Meitnerium}} was named after her in 1997 almost 30 years after her death. (She is later mentioned again in [[1584: Moments of Inspiration]]).

{{w|Noether's Theorem}} is widely considered one of the most beautiful and significant theorems used in physics, and its repercussions are still being widely explored to this day. She had to learn mathematics by taking {{w|Academic audit|auditing classes}} at {{w|University of Erlangen}} since she was [https://www.agnesscott.edu/lriddle/women/noether.htm refused the opportunity to take classes because she was a woman]. And later she had to teach without getting paid and under male colleagues' names, meaning that students would only take the course if they thought some "real" male teacher was guiding Emmy. Much later Emmy was referenced in the title text of [[2595: Advanced Techniques]].

Marie asserts at the end that Ponytail is not alone, meaning that there are many important female scientists out there, and also many young women wanting to become scientists. But could also be a reference to the fact that, as mentioned, female scientists might be less likely to receive medals or other tokens of support and encouragement.

Zombies are a [[:Category:Zombies|recurring theme]] in xkcd, particularly zombie scientists, which has also occurred twice before with {{w|Richard Feynman}} in [[397: Unscientific]] and {{w|Paul Erdős}} in [[599: Apocalypse]].

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail is looking up at a picture on the wall showing Marie Curie with a white hair bun. She seems to be standing in front of a laboratory table with samples strewn over the surface. Her arms are in front of her like she is working with these samples. A voice comes from off-panel (and is revealed in the next panels to be Zombie Marie Curie.]
:Ponytail: My teacher always told me that if I applied myself, I could become the next Marie Curie.
:Zombie Marie Curie (off-panel): You know, I wish they'd get over me.
:[Inserted panel mainly inside the first panel, but extending a bit it, with a close up of Ponytail who turns her face around swiftly towards the zombie, as indicated by two speed lines curving around her head, even breaking the panels frame.]
:Ponytail: Zombie Marie Curie!

:[Ponytail has turned towards Zombie Marie Curie, drawn as Hairbun, who is walking towards Ponytail in typical zombie fashion both arms stretched out, with a battered and weathered look Stuff is falling off behind her, presumably mainly earth from when she dug herself out of her grave, and she is leaving a trail of this behind her, and it keeps falling from both of her hands and her body.]
:Zombie Marie Curie: Not that I don't deserve it. These two Nobels ain't decorative. But I make a sorry role model if girls just see me over and over as the one token lady scientist.

:[Close up of Zombie Marie Curie holding a hand up. She clearly has two large pieces of earth stuck to her face, and her hair is in disarray even with the hair bun keeping it in place.]
:Zombie Marie Curie: Lise Meitner figured out that nuclear fission was happening, while her colleague Otto was staring blankly at their data in confusion, and proved Enrico Fermi wrong in the process. Enrico and Otto both got Nobel Prizes. Lise got a National Women's Press Club award.
:Zombie Marie Curie: They finally named an element after her, but not until 60 years later.

:[Zoom out to both Ponytail and Zombie Marie Curie both with their arms down.]
:Zombie Marie Curie: Emmy Noether fought past her Victorian-era finishing-school upbringing, pursued mathematics by auditing classes, and, after finally getting a Ph.D, was permitted to teach only as an unpaid lecturer (often under male colleagues' names).
:Ponytail: Was she as good as them?
:Zombie Marie Curie: She revolutionized abstract algebra, filled gaps in relativity, and found what some call the most beautiful, deepest result in theoretical physics.
:Ponytail: Oh.

:[Close up of Zombie Marie Curie.]
:Zombie Marie Curie: But you don't become great by trying to be great. You become great by wanting to do something, and then doing it so hard that you become great in the process.

:[Zoom out to both Ponytail and Zombie Marie Curie.]
:Zombie Marie Curie: So don't try to be the next me, Noether, or Meitner. Just remember that if you want to do this stuff, you're not alone.
:Ponytail: Thanks.
:Zombie Marie Curie: Also, avoid radium. Turns out it kills you.
:Ponytail: I'll try.

==Trivia==
*Marie Curie was later drawn in similar Hairbun style (but not with the zombie decay) in [[Thing Explainer]] in the article ''The pieces everything is made of'' (about the {{w|Periodic table}}), since she discovered two of the elements and had one element named after her, just like Lise Meitner.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Zombies]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

920: YouTube Parties

2026-03-31T17:03:48Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 920
| date = July 4, 2011
| title = YouTube Parties
| image = youtube_parties.png
| titletext = This reminds me of that video where... no? How have you not seen that? Oh man, let me find it. No, it's ok, we can go back to your video later.
}}

==Explanation==
A {{w|YouTube}} party is when a group of people show each other YouTube videos. The problem with YouTube parties is that no one pays attention to the video that's playing; instead, each person is thinking of the video that they personally want to play next.

You can see analogous behavior at any get-together where couples (parents) are telling stories about their kids. Nobody cares about anybody else's kid; they are just waiting (not even listening) until they get the chance to talk about their own offspring.

The joke seems to be that everybody is doing this, but it is unclear whether they realize it. They each seem to be under the delusion that the others will be fascinated by "their" video (or child's accomplishments), even though the evidence strongly suggests otherwise. Possibly they don't care about that either; they just want an audience, even an unwilling one.

This may be defensible where kids are involved, because the parents could reasonably feel that the accomplishments of their children reflect well on themselves. However, the people in the YouTube party didn't create the videos, they just found them. Which makes their behavior (or perhaps YouTube parties in general) even more inane and pointless.

The title text reiterates this point. The speaker is reminded of another video that is so superior to the one currently playing that we should find it and watch it immediately. We can always go back to the current video later (if anybody still remembers, that is; and according to the comic above no one will ''want'' to remember it).

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and a group consisting of three Cueballs and one Ponytail are standing in a dark room around a table. The group and Cueball are illuminated by a laptop on the table.]
:[Caption above the panel:]
:The problem with YouTube parties:
:Cueball (thinking): This video is blowing their ''MINDS.''
:Group (thinking): Oh man, I know what video we should watch once this is over.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:YouTube]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

931: Lanes

2026-03-31T17:03:38Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 931
| date = July 29, 2011
| title = Lanes
| image = lanes.png
| titletext = Each quarter of the lanes from left to right correspond loosely to breast cancer stages one through four (at diagnosis).
}}

==Explanation==
The comic is built around a dialogue between two people (we'll say Cueball is the one talking, and the other is his friend) about cancer, presumably cancer that [[Megan]] has been diagnosed with. The conversation itself is about as straightforward as a conversation can be. It details the maturation of [[Cueball]]'s and [[Megan]]'s understanding of cancer diagnoses, knowledge which we can presume he has gained, reluctantly, by watching a loved one suffer.

This whole [[:Category:Cancer|cancer series]] was sparked because [[Randall]]'s then-fiancee, now wife, is currently in Megan's position, and we, the readers, are now the beneficiaries of this new understanding of cancer diagnoses without having to watch somebody close to us suffer.

The comic's title, Lanes, comes from the two panels which illustrate both ends of the spectrum of Cueball's mental representation of how cancer treatment proceeds. In that there are many possible outcomes for cancer treatment, the image of a multi-lane freeway seems an apt metaphor to represent this understanding visually.

In the first freeway diagram, there are several paths, but the system is very simple, and easy to take in. Only a few lanes lead off into the oblivion which surrounds the freeway, a single off-ramp circles back from the path to survival to treatment, and survival is a visible endpoint.

In the second freeway diagram, however, things are much, much more complex, and much more bleak. Even six years out, survival isn't visible, and many lanes end in oblivion, sometimes not veering off for years after treatment. The title text informs us that this is meant to be loosely representative of breast cancer stages one through four, proceeding by quarters from left to right.

This reality is deeply troubling, because it means that it's impossible to ever be sure that a cancer treatment has worked. So cancer patients (and their loved ones), can only go through the treatments, and spend the rest of their lives ''hoping'' that it was successful, and constantly being checked to see if the cancer has returned. Even if the best case, they can never feel entirely safe from it. It's a grim outlook, hence the friend's understated but completely fitting reaction to this plethora of new knowledge.

Specific numbers:
:There are 52 lanes, so 13 lanes per cancer stage.
:*Stage 1 has a 1:12 = ~8% chance of recurrence leading to death within 6 years.
:*Stage 2 has a 5:8 = ~38% chance.
:*Stage 3 has an 8:5 = ~62% chance.
:*Stage 4 has an 11:2 = ~85% chance of death within 6 years.

The opening line of "being in the woods" is revisited in [[1928: Seven Years]], where Cueball and Megan are shown walking through a forest in a cancer-themed strip.

==Transcript==
:[The panels are arranged top to bottom. The first is set above a larger image.]
:Friend: So, are you guys out of the woods?
:Cueball: We don't know.
:Friend: Well, did the treatment work?
:Cueball: We don't know.

:[Cueball's next few lines are set by themselves in their own panels, arranged around a larger image.]
:Cueball: I always assumed that when you got cancer, they gave you a prognosis, then treated you, and at the end of treatment either you beat it or you died.

:[The diagram shows a simple highway. Starting at the bottom, with diagnosis for five lanes, the road travels through a cloud of treatment, after which two lanes disappear, and three continue. Later on, there's another off-ramp labeled 'cancer "comes back"', which loops back into the treatment cloud. Otherwise, the highway enters a later cloud called survive.]

:Cueball: And I knew sometimes it "recurred," which I assumed meant back to square one.
:Cueball: But that's turned out not to be quite right.

:[Back to Cueball and his friend.]
:Cueball: Once most cancers spread out into your body, they're incurable.
:Cueball: If your 10-year prognosis is 60%, that means a 40% chance that some cancer will slip past the treatment and get out.

:[The frame zooms in to show just Cueball.]
:Cueball: So they kill all the cancer they can find, and then you're a "survivor." But your odds are still 60%.

:[The panel zooms in further, now showing only Cueball's top half.]
:Cueball: They can't scan for individual cancer cells. The only way to know if it worked is to wait for tumors to pop up elsewhere.
:Cueball: If you go enough years without that happening then you were in the 60%.

:[The frame shows both people again.]
:Cueball: And often the first sign is a cough or bone pain.
:Cueball: So you spend the next five or ten years trying not to worry that every ache and pain is the answer to the question "Do I make it?"

:[There's an extra large panel, with a small one floating inside it.]
:[The panel shows fifty-two lanes emerging from the cloud of 'Treatment'. Signs show 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years, 5 years, 6 years. Lanes branch off and fade into darkness earlier on the right, with some lanes continuing off the top of the panel.]

:[Inset panel.]
:Friend: Man.
:Friend: Fuck cancer.
:Cueball: ''Seriously.''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Psychology]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

977: Map Projections

2026-03-31T17:03:24Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 977
| date = November 14, 2011
| title = Map Projections
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = map_projections.png
| titletext = What's that? You think I don't like the Peters map because I'm uncomfortable with having my cultural assumptions challenged? Are you sure you're not... ::puts on sunglasses:: ...projecting?
}}
{{TOC}}
==Explanation==
{{w|Map projection}}, or how to represent the spherical Earth surface onto a flat support (paper, screen...) to have a usable map, is a long-time issue with very practical aspects (navigation, geographical shapes and masses visualization, etc.) as well as very scientific/mathematical ones, involving geometry or even abstract algebra among other things. There is no universal solution to this problem: Any 2D map projection will always distort in a way the spherical reality. Many projections have been proposed in various contexts, each intending to minimize distortions for specific uses (for nautical navigation, for aerial navigation, for landmass size comparisons, etc.) but having drawbacks from other points of view. Some of them are more frequently used than others in mass media and therefore more well-known than others, some are purely historical and now deprecated, some are very obscure, etc.

[[Randall]] suggests here the idea that someone's "favorite" map projection can reveal aspects of their personality, then goes through a series of them to show what they can mean.

He may actually believe that all map projections are in a way bad. This could be inferred from the fact that he much later began publishing a series of [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]].

[[File:MercatorProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Mercator projection]]
===Mercator===
The {{w|Mercator projection}} was introduced by Flemish cartographer Gerardus Mercator in 1569. The main purpose of this map is to preserve compass bearings; for example 13 degrees east of north will be 13 degrees clockwise from the ray pointing toward the top of the map, at every point. A mathematical consequence is the mapping is conformal, i.e. if two roads meet at a certain angle on the surface of the Earth, they will meet at that same angle on the map. It also follows that at every point the vertical and horizontal scales are the same, so locally i.e. considering only a small part of the map, geographical features (shapes, angles) are well represented, which helps a lot in recognizing them on-the-field, or for local navigation in that small part only. For this reason, that projection (or a close variant) is used in several online mapping services (such as Google Maps), which means that it is frequently encountered by the general public. A straight line on the map corresponds to a course of constant bearing (direction), which was very useful for nautical navigation in the past (and thus made that projection very well-known).

However, from a global point of view, this projection is radically incorrect in how it shows the size of landmasses (for instance, Antarctica and Greenland seem gigantic), and furthermore, it always excludes a small region around each pole (otherwise the map would be of infinite height—all north–south meridians continue vertically indefinitely rather than ever converging to a single point), so it doesn't provide a complete solution for the problem of map projection. The comic implies that people who like that projection aren't very interested with map issues, and typically use what they are offered without thinking much about it.

{{clear}}

[[File:VanDerGrintenProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Van der Grinten projection]]

===Van der Grinten===
The {{w|Van der Grinten projection}} is not much better than the Mercator. It was adopted by {{w|National Geographic}} in 1922 and was used until they updated to the Robinson projection in 1988.

The Van der Grinten projection is circular as opposed to the Mercator projection. The fictional person believes a circular map is more fitting to the real Earth's three-dimensional spherical nature because both are round. This belief fails to recognize that a two-dimensional circle has very little in common with the surface of a sphere, and thus this projection still causes a vast distortion of space and area. Because of this, Randall implies the Van der Grinten enthusiast to be optimistic and childishly simple-minded (e.g. "you like circles").

{{clear}}

[[File:RobinsonProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Robinson projection]]
===Robinson===
The {{w|Robinson projection}} was developed by {{w|Arthur H. Robinson}} as a map that was supposed to look nice and is often used for classroom maps. National Geographic switched to this projection in 1988, and used it for ten years, switching to the {{w|Winkel tripel projection|Winkel-Tripel}} in 1998.

{{w|The Beatles}} was a rock band that enjoyed great commercial success in the 1960s, and are widely considered the best act ever in the genre of popular music. The Beatles, coffee, and running shoes are all things that are very commonly enjoyed and largely uncontroversial, as well as being comforting. Liking these specific things suggests an ordinary, easygoing lifestyle paralleled by the projection.

{{clear}}

[[File:DymaxionProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Dymaxion projection]]
===Dymaxion===
Also called the Fuller Map, the {{w|Dymaxion map}} takes a sphere and projects it onto an icosahedron, that is a polyhedron with 20 triangular faces. It is far easier to unwrap an icosahedron than it is to unwrap a sphere into a 2D object and has very little skewing of the poles. {{w|Buckminster Fuller}} was an eccentric futurist who believed, for example, that world maps should allow no conception of "up" or "down". He was therefore more than happy to defy people's expectations about maps in the pursuit of mathematical accuracy.

Randall associates the projection to geek subculture and niche markets:
*{{w|Isaac Asimov}} was an American science-fiction writer, who (as well as publishing many textbooks) is considered the father of the modern concept of robots. He invented the {{w|Three Laws of Robotics}}. He also worked on more than 500 books throughout his career.
*{{w|XML}} is the eXtensible Markup Language. It is used to represent data in a format that machines can read and understand, as well as being human-readable. In practice, XML is cumbersome to read.
*{{w|Vibram FiveFingers|Toed shoes}} are a [[1065: Shoes|favorite]] of Randall's to pick on. In society they are seen as a {{w|geek}} clothing item.
*Brought to the world by {{w|Dean Kamen}}, the {{w|Segway PT}} was supposed to be a device that changed the way cities were built. In practice, it had the same problems as other novel personal transporters, such as the {{w|Sinclair C5}} many years earlier. Small, powered vehicles didn't fit neatly into the existing infrastructure for cars, bikes or pedestrians; using them on roads or sidewalks could be unsafe, illegal or both. Early versions of the Segway also cost more than a used car, such that they were never widespread enough to provoke legal or infrastructure changes. The devices found a small niche among law enforcement, mall/airport security and tour operators, rather than private owners. The former owner of {{w|Segway Inc.}}, the late {{w|Jimi Heselden}}, accidentally rode his Segway off a cliff in 2010. Ninebot, then owner of the Segway brand, announced in 2020 that the flagship 2-wheeled self-balancing vehicle would be discontinued.
*At the time of comic release, 3D goggles, nowadays widely known as {{w|Virtual reality headset|VR headsets}}, were considered a gimmick at best. The original idea is as old as 3D graphics, but it never really took off until mid-2010s. Earlier products were very unwieldy and offered poor graphics quality, so no one took this technology seriously.
*{{w|Dvorak Simplified Keyboard|Dvorak}} is an alternate keyboard layout to {{w|QWERTY}}. According to legend, Dr. {{w|August Dvorak}} performed many studies and found the mathematically optimal keyboard layout to reduce finger travel for right handed typists. While some claim Dvorak is technically better than QWERTY, QWERTY had become the standard. Most keyboards were laid out in QWERTY format, but a lot of software exists to remap the keys to DVORAK for those interested in typing faster. Retraining the brain to use Dvorak takes perhaps a week. It has become a [[:Category:Dvorak|recurrent theme]] on xkcd.

{{clear}}

[[File:Winkel-TripelProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Winkel Tripel projection]]

===Winkel-Tripel===
Proposed by Oswald Winkel in 1921, the {{w|Winkel tripel projection}} tried to reduce a set of three (''Tripel:'' German for triple) main problems with map projections: area, direction, and distance. The {{w|Kavrayskiy VII projection|Kavrayskiy projection}} is very similar to the Winkel Tripel and was used by the USSR, but very few in the Western world know of it.

The comic links this projection to {{w|hipster}} subculture. The hipster stereotype is to avoid conforming to mainstream fashions. "Post-" refers to a variety of musical genres such as {{w|post-punk}}, {{w|post-hardcore}}, {{w|post-minimalism}}, {{w|post-rock}}, etc. that branch off of other genres, and are generally considered less accessible than the genres that spawned them. Liking a genre just called "post-" implies that the listener prefers music that is less mainstream, and may have that as the only criterion for listening. This projection was later used in [[2242: Ground vs Air]].

{{clear}}

[[File:GoodeHomolosineProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Goode Homolosine projection]]
===Goode Homolosine===
The {{w|Goode homolosine projection}} takes a different approach to skewing a sphere into a roughly circular surface. It was created by {{w|John Paul Goode}} as an alternative to the Mercator, which Goode described as "evil." It is an equal area map, but aims to reduce distortions to the landmasses — as a concession, the map has several interruptions through the oceans.

The Goode projection is often called a "flattened orange peel." Traditionally this is taken to mean no map will be perfect; just like an orange peel will tear if you try to flatten it with your hands, any flat map of Earth will have concessions, even Goode's. However, Randall is suggesting that people who like this map doesn't notice the limitations and focuses on literally flattening an orange peel. Overall Randall's write-up gives the impression of jumping straight to easy solutions for other things in life, despite those solutions having nuanced problems that are more difficult to address.

People often make arguments that if normal people ran the United States, then the US wouldn't be in the trouble it is. This is from the belief that career politicians are simply out to make money and will only act in the interest of their constituency when their continued easy life is threatened (usually around election time). While some form of this view is very common and probably pretty much correct, Randall is saying that someone who likes this map may take this to extremes.

Airline food is another, much maligned, problem. How do you store enough food to feed people on long airplane trips? What kind of food can be served in an enclosed, low-air-pressure environment? The common solution is to use some kind of prepackaged, reheated meal. Randall is saying that the people in favor of the Goode Homolosine wonder why the airlines don't simply order meals from the restaurants in the airport, store that food, and serve it, rather than using bland reheated food. However, this seemingly-obvious solution ignores how being in an airplane dulls your sense of taste. Airplane food is actually over seasoned for eating on the ground, meaning that if airlines switched to restaurant food it would probably taste even blander. There would also be issues with acquiring special meals (for example, vegetarian, Kosher, and Halal meals), especially if suitable restaurants were not in close range to the airport. Airport restaurants tend to also be more expensive than usual.

Older cars burned oil like mad fiends, and oil back then would become corrosive to the innards of an engine, so oil had to be changed often. But, with the introduction of synthetic motor oil and better designed engines, new cars only need their oil changed about every 10,000 to 15,000 miles. A common conspiracy theory is that modern automobile oil manufacturers still recommend that car owners change their oil every 3,000-5,000 miles to "drum" up more business, even though that frequency is unnecessary.

All of these references suggest that people who like the Goode Homolosine projection are fans of simple solutions to problems. However, while the solutions appear to be an easy, common-sense solutions, they all rely on over-simplifying the problem, and ignoring any problems introduced by the solution itself. For instance: the restaurants might have trouble making enough food for the whole plane, and it could get cold before being served; the air conditions [https://www.nbcnews.com/health/one-reason-airline-food-so-bad-your-own-tastebuds-6C10823522 aboard planes] can affect taste, so airlines say they optimize for this; there is no such thing as a "normal" person, and if there were, they would have less political experience than politicians, while remaining subject to the same pressures and problems with the larger political system; and the Goode Homolosine projection, while mostly resembling a flattened orange peel as suggested by the earlier analogy, does indeed cut down on distortion, but also has serious problems of its own, such as leaving huge gaps of nothingness between the continents, making distances across the oceans difficult to visualize, and splitting Greenland in half.

{{clear}}

[[File:Hobo-DyerProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Hobo–Dyer projection]]

===Hobo–Dyer===
The {{w|Hobo–Dyer projection}} was commissioned by Bob Abramms and Howard Bronstein and was drafted by Mick Dyer in 2002. It is a modified {{w|Behrmann projection}}. The goal was to be a more visually pleasing version of the Gall–Peters.

As is discussed in the Gall–Peters explanation, the Gall–Peters was developed to be equal area, so that historically colonised and economically disadvantaged areas nearer the equator are not diminished in area by the map projection, nor 'global north' areas enlarged.

Randall associates the Hobo–Dyer projection to "crunchy granola" — a stereotype associated with vegetarianism, environmental activism, anti-war activism, liberal political leanings, and some traces of {{w|hippie}} culture.

Initially with feminism becoming mainstream, and then as non-binary genders became more widely accepted, some have begun to invent novel gender-neutral pronouns so that, when referring to a person whose gender is not definitively male or female, they cannot either offend by using an undesirable pronoun or apply the social baggage of the '{{w|Gender neutrality in languages with gendered third-person pronouns#Generic he|generic he/she}}'. Actually, from at least {{w|Middle English}} onwards, the '{{w|singular they}}' and its derivatives were always an acceptable solution, but the influence of [https://www.merriam-webster.com/video/the-awkward-case-of-his-or-her prescriptivist Victorian grammarians] led to some people considering that usage to be grammatically incorrect and led to {{w|gender-neutral pronoun#Table of standard and non-standard third-person singular pronouns|a plethora of terms}} being combined or coined to refer either to anyone/everyone, equally, or specifically for those who are non-binary. It's not clear whether Randall thinks the person adopting the Hobo-Dyer map is using such novel pronouns for their own identity, or as a conscious consideration for others. Perhaps both.

[[File:PlateCarreeProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Plate Carrée projection]]
===Plate Carrée===
Also known as the {{w|Equirectangular projection}}, it has apparently been in use since approximately 100 CE. The benefit of this projection is that latitude and longitude can be used as x,y coordinates. This makes it especially easy for computers to graph data on top of it.

According to the comic, the projection appeals to people who find much beauty in simplicity.

{{clear}}

[[File:GlobeProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Globe "projection"]]
===A Globe!===
In any good discussion there has to be at least one smart-ass. This is a comic about map projections, the science of taking a sphere and flattening it into 2 dimensions. The smart-ass believes that we shouldn't even try: a sphere is, tautologically, the perfect representation of a sphere.

To quote ''{{w|The Princess Bride}}'': "Yes, you're very smart. Shut up."

A globe is the "map projection" used by {{w|Google Earth}} when zoomed out.

Notably, what is depicted in the panel itself (the comic being 2D) is technically an {{w|orthographic map projection}}.

{{clear}}

[[File:WatermanButterflyProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Waterman Butterfly projection]]
===Waterman butterfly===
Similar to the Dymaxion, the {{w|Waterman butterfly projection}} turns a sphere into an octahedron, and then unfolds the net of the octahedron, which was devised by mathematician {{w|Waterman polyhedron|Steve Waterman}} based upon the work of {{w|Bernard J.S. Cahill}}.

Bernard Cahill published a [https://www.genekeyes.com/B.J.S._CAHILL_RESOURCE.html butterfly map] in 1909. Steve Waterman probably has the only extant "ready to go" map following the same general principles, though Gene Keys may not be far behind. Waterman has a poem with graphics in a similar vein to this xkcd comic that is worth reading.[https://web.archive.org/web/20120118095915/https://watermanpolyhedron.com/worldmap.html]

[https://www.degruyter.com/downloadpdf/j/pcr.2016.48.issue-4/pcr-2016-0014/pcr-2016-0014.pdf Polyhedral projections] like Cahill, Dymaxion or Waterman typically offer better accuracy of size, shape and area than flat projections, at the expense of compass directionality, connectedness, and other complications.

The joke is that the person responding deeply understands map projections; anyone who knows of this projection is a person that Randall would like to get to know.

{{clear}}

[[File:PeirceQuincuncialProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Peirce Quincuncial projection]]
===Peirce quincuncial===
The {{w|Peirce quincuncial projection}} was devised by {{w|Charles Sanders Peirce}} in 1879 and uses {{w|complex analysis}} to make a {{w|conformal mapping}} of the Earth, that conforms except for four points which would make up the midpoints of sides and lie on equator (the equator is represented by a square and the corners connect the sides in the middle.)

{{w|Inception}} was a 2010 movie about {{w|meta}} {{w|lucid dream}}ing. It has a complex story that is difficult to follow and leaves the viewer with many questions at the end, and almost always needs to be watched multiple times to be understood.

The human brain is not well developed to deal with oddly obvious things. One example is that everyone has a skeleton, but everyone is surprised to see a part of their body represented by an X-ray. Another is the fascinating complexity of the human hand, a machine which is amazingly complex, driven by a complex interplay of electrical and chemical signals; yet is the size of the hand and so useful. A fascination with or fixation on {{tvtropes|ContemplatingYourHands|such thoughts}} is often associated with an altered state of mind brought on by marijuana consumption. Therefore, Randall may be implying that this map would appeal to stoners. A later version of "You ''have'' really looked at your hand" was encountered in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'', where in one part Randall says to "look at your hand", then later "OK, you can stop looking at your hand now".

{{clear}}

[[File:Gall-PetersProjection.jpg|frame|left|The Gall–Peters projection]]

===Gall–Peters===
The {{w|Gall–Peters projection}} is mired in controversy, surprisingly for a map projection. {{w|James Gall}}, a 19th-century clergyman, presented this projection in 1855 before the {{w|British Association for the Advancement of Science}}. In 1967, the filmmaker {{w|Arno Peters}} created the same projection and presented it to the world as a "new invention" that put poorer, less powerful countries into their rightful proportions, (as opposed to the Mercator) during the US civil rights movement, when society was very concerned about social justice. Peters played the marketing game and got quite a few followers of his map by saying it had "absolute angle conformality," "no extreme distortions of form," and was "totally distance-factual". These claims were in fact false. The Mercator projection distorts size in favor of shape, and Gall-Peters distorts shape in favor of size, being especially inaccurate at the equator and the poles.

Anyone who loves such a politically charged map that has become popular by way of marketing stunts and false claims, Randall would rather not have anything to do with. Alternatively Randall just dislikes this map projection so much due to the above mentioned major inaccuracies, that he hates anyone who likes it.

{{clear}}

===Title text===
The title text references a meme from ''{{w|CSI: Miami}}'', in which the star, David Caruso, starts a sentence, then puts on his sunglasses and ends the sentence with a corny pun. In this case, the pun is on {{w|map projection}} and {{w|projection (psychology)|projection}} in psychology. Psychological projection is an unconscious defense mechanism wherein a person who is uncomfortable with their own impulses denies having them and attributes them to other people, and blames these people for these impulses. The Sunglasses internet meme has been used [[:Category:Puts on sunglasses|in other comics]] as well.

==Transcript==
:What your favorite
:[More prominant, larger text] 'Map Projection'
:says about you
:[All of these are organized as Title, a copy of the particular projection underneath, and what it says about you under that.]

:*Mercator
:**You're not really into maps.
:*Van der Grinten
:**You're not a complicated person. You love the Mercator projection; you just wish it weren't square. The Earth's not a square, it's a circle. You like circles. Today is gonna be a good day!
:*Robinson
:**You have a comfortable pair of running shoes that you wear everywhere. You like coffee and enjoy The Beatles. You think the Robinson is the best-looking projection, hands down.
:*Dymaxion
:**You like Isaac Asimov, XML, and shoes with toes. You think the Segway got a bad rap. You own 3D goggles, which you use to view rotating models of better 3D goggles. You type in Dvorak.
:*Winkel-Tripel
:**National Geographic adopted the Winkel-Tripel in 1998, but you've been a W-T fan since ''long'' before "Nat Geo" showed up. You're worried it's getting played out, and are thinking of switching to the Kavrayskiy. You once left a party in disgust when a guest showed up wearing shoes with toes. Your favorite musical genre is "Post–".
:*Goode Homolosine
:**They say mapping the Earth on a 2D surface is like flattening an orange peel, which seems enough to you. You like easy solutions.You think we wouldn't have so many problems if we'd just elect ''normal'' people to Congress instead of Politicians. You think airlines should just buy food from the restaurants near the gates and serve ''that'' on board. You change your car's oil, but secretly wonder if you really ''need'' to.
:*Hobo-Dyer
:**You want to avoid cultural imperialism, but you've heard bad things about Gall-Peters. You're conflict-averse and buy organic. You use a recently-invented set of gender-neutral pronouns and think that what the world needs is a revolution in consciousness.
:*Plate Carrée (Equirectangular)
:**You think this one is fine. You like how X and Y map to latitude and longitude. The other projections overcomplicate things. You want me to stop asking about maps so you can enjoy dinner.
:*A Globe!
:**Yes, you're very clever.
:*Waterman Butterfly
:**Really? You know the Waterman? Have you seen the 1909 Cahill Map it's based— ...You have a framed reproduction at home?! Whoa. ...Listen, forget these questions. Are you doing anything tonight?
:*Peirce Quincuncial
:**You think that when we look at a map, what we really see is ourselves. After you first saw ''Inception'', you sat silent in the theater for six hours. It freaks you out to realize that everyone around you has a skeleton inside them. You ''have'' really looked at your hands.
:*Gall-Peters
:**I ''hate'' you.

==Trivia==
*A fan-made animated version of this comic, showing how the projections look when they are rotated, was uploaded to YouTube and is available [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7O2CBgWshiM here].

*In German, "Winkel-Tripel-Projektion" means "Winkel's triple projection". Therefore, the hyphen in the comic shouldn't be there: "Winkel Tripel" or "Winkel tripel".

*The days comic used a special text at the header of xkcd.com, deviating from the typical message. It read “It turns out Monday was Steve Waterman's birthday. His site has posters of his map, plus maybe the world's only Winkel Tripel-critiquing poetry.”

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Maps‏‎]]
[[Category:Dvorak]]
[[Category:Puts on sunglasses]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Aviation]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

980: Money

2026-03-31T17:03:12Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 980
| date = November 21, 2011
| title = Money
| image = money.png
| titletext = There, I showed you it.
}}
{{TOC}}Clicking on the image on [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com] takes you to an [https://xkcd.com/980/huge/ interactive] and much larger image. On the interactive image there are two links: one takes you to the [https://xkcd.com/980/sources/ sources and downloads] page where a list of sources and the [https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/money_huge.png full image] can be downloaded.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The US foreign aid section has a typo---it lists economic/humanitarian aid as equaling military aid when in fact (as of publication) it was much greater. Plus, the boxes have sizes not reflecting the numbers shown, further suggesting that this is a typo [[Special:Contributions/35.151.32.161|35.151.32.161]] 03:57, 6 December 2025 (UTC)

this should be added somewhere}}
{{Quote| I had a huge amount of fun putting the money chart together. It was the first time in a long time that my life’s been stable enough that I’ve been able to really disappear into a project—I’d almost forgotten how enjoyable it can be.|[[Randall Munroe]]|[https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/11/24/money-chart/ Source]}}

This is a [[:Category:Charts|chart]] comic - a type of comic that [[Randall]] does from time to time. He has for instance done [[256: Online Communities|maps of the Internet]] ([[802: Online Communities 2|twice]]!) and other huge visualizations like this chart [[Radiation]] with a similar structure as this chart but with Radiation as the subject. The Radiation chart is most likely the inspiration for this much more comprehensive Money chart.

In this money chart there are five boxes with items on different scales of monetary value denoting prices and values of many things, big and small (with the values contemporary to the comic's release in 2011; most are now more expensive due to inflation). Each scale of dollar increments are different colors. One dollar increments are green - naturally, because American paper money is green. Thousands are orange/red. Millions are gray. Billions are yellow. Trillions are blue. This comic uses {{w|Long and short scales|the short scale}} for naming large numbers (so a billion = 1000 millions = 109 rather than a million millions = 1012 as in continental Europe).

Included in one frame is a small man with a red and white striped shirt, blue pants, a cane and a knit cap. He is known as Wally or Waldo (in the US) from the {{w|Where's Wally?|''Where's Waldo?'' books}}. To not give anything away for those who wish to search for him themselves there will be no spoiler here. But if someone needs a little help... Then by clicking this [[980: Money/Transcript#Billions|link]] you will be directed to the relevant section amongst the five sections where Waldo can be found. (The link will take you to that section of the full transcript page). If you still cannot find him (or give up in advance) then just search the transcript page for Wally or Waldo. There is a [[Header text#Money|unique header text]] for this comic.

The title text is a reference to the phrase "Show me the money!" which originates from the film ''{{w|Jerry Maguire}}''.

===Extra Money pages===
Since this comic is so big and complicated, extra pages have been created to include much more information than is wished for on this main page. These pages are listed here for convenience, but they are also listed in the relevant sections below:
* '''[[980: Money/Transcript]]''' - The full transcript of the entire comic can be found here. It is linked from the [[#Transcript|Transcript]] section.
* '''[[980: Money/Prices in tables]]''' The complete list of every item in the comic.

===Tables with explanations===
====Dollars====
{| class="wikitable"
|Top-left
|The price of various common bills and commodities. The One Dollar Menu is a type of menu at various fast food restaurants. The one dollar bill and ten dollar bill are likely used for reference points. A Starbucks coffee actually ranges in price from $1.95 to $2.15 depending on the location.
|-
|Middle-left
|Pet Ownership. The {{w|ASPCA}} is the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. The most expensive animal on this list may seem surprising; rabbits cost an average of 35 dollars more than dogs and 70 dollars more than cats.
|-
|Bottom-right
|Four boxes indicate that the CEO pay has skyrocketed from $490.31 (hourly) to $5,419.97 (hourly) in the same time period in which the average worker's salary has grown 10 cents.
|}

====Thousands====
{| class="wikitable"
|Top-right
|Hogwarts degree: a reference to {{w|Hogwarts|Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy}} from the popular book series by {{w|J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling}} about {{w|Harry Potter}}.
One box is the estimated yearly tuition for the school and the next is how much seven years at the school would cost. To get a degree at the school, it takes 7 years (starting at age 11, ending at age 18).
|-
|Bottom
|A reference to the song by {{w|Barenaked Ladies}} entitled "{{w|If I Had $1000000}}" and all the things referenced in the song to buy the love of another person.
|-
|Middle-Right
|A few items on the marriage of {{w|Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton|Kate Middleton and Prince William}}, the major royal wedding of 2011, including:
*a {{w|Wedding dress of Kate Middleton|wedding dress with its own Wikipedia page}} of 3 times the annual per capita income of the average UK person,
*an 8-tier [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1381944/Royal-Wedding-cake-Kate-Middleton-requested-8-tiers-decorated-900-flowers.html wedding cake],
*and the flowers for the wedding. These re-appear in the Millions section of the graph, where they also list the costs for the security around the event ($20 million).
|}

====Millions====
{| class="wikitable"
|Left
|Dr. Evil's ransom demands from the film "Austin Powers" corrected for inflation between 1969 and 1997.
|-
|Middle-right
|Another reference to J. K. Rowling, comparing her (actual $1 billion) net worth as an author with her (imagined $82,000) net worth as a rapper.
The magnified 82 orange/red ($1,000) boxes are footnoted "Professional assessment by rapper/geek culture expert MC Frontalot." {{w|MC Front-A-Lot}} is the creator of the subgenre of {{w|hip-hop}} known as {{w|Nerd Core}}.
|-
|Middle
|An {{w|Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor|F-22 Raptor fighter jet}} (valued at $154.5M) is compared to a Velociraptor ($1.9M in production costs for the film Jurassic Park)
|}

====Billions====
{| class="wikitable"
|Top-Left ((Fictional)Billionaires section)
|{{w|Carlisle Cullen}} is from the {{w|Twilight (series)|''Twilight'' series}} of books and movies. He is a vampire and adoptive father of {{w|Edward Cullen|Edward}}, {{w|Emmett Cullen|Emmett}} and {{w|Alice Cullen (Twilight)|Alice Cullen}}, as well as {{w|Rosalie Hale|Rosalie}} and {{w|Jasper Hale}}. He was born in the 1640s and amassed his wealth through many years of compound interest and investments.
|{{w|Scrooge McDuck}} is a cartoon character from many {{w|Disney}} properties including the afternoon cartoon, ''{{w|Duck Tales}}''. Scrooge McDuck has a "money bin" full of coins and other sorts of collectibles that he routinely [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMU2NwaaXEA goes swimming in].
|{{w|Bruce Wayne}} is {{w|Batman}}. {{w|Batman}} is {{w|Bruce Wayne}}. He is portrayed in many comic books, graphic novels, TV shows and movies by many different actors.
|{{w|Artemis Fowl II|Artemis Fowl}} is an Irish child prodigy and a ruthless master criminal from the {{w|Artemis Fowl (series)|eponymous book series}}. He uses his intelligence to build his family fortune through crime.
|}

====Trillions====
{| class="wikitable"
|As Randall already indicated in the transcript, this is the block for world, continent and nation finances. The numbers are really huge. There are no jokes in here (apart from the fact that Randall tried to make the shapes of the GDP look like the continent), likely because financial values this large aren't funny to start with.
|-
|GDP is {{w|gross domestic product}}, the market value of all goods and services produced in a nation.
*The major chart in the center shows the development of the GDP in the world since the 1940s. So far the US GDP has always grown, except for a small reduction in the early 1980s, a flat line around the 1991 global recession and a flat line in the second half of the naughts. The world-wide GDP is growing more rapidly, but is also much more volatile.
|-
|In the middle of the box, it shows the worth of all gold ever mined in 2011 prices. This is important because of the concept of the {{w|gold standard}}, a concept where monetary values are linked to the value of gold. As indicated in the top-right of the box, both the EU and the USA have more debt than the total value of all gold in the world.
|-
|{{w|Derivative (finance)|Derivatives}} are a complex financial instrument where one is not trading in something tangible, but in derived values - like options. Derivatives thus are dangerous as one trades in concepts instead of values. Critics claim that derivatives are at the base of the 'economic bubble'.
*The growth of the derivatives market size is incredible - more than doubling every four years. The derivatives market thus is much larger than the GDP of the entire world.
*We get a reference to [http://landartgenerator.org/blagi/archives/127 a proposed project to power the world] by erecting massive solar farms out in the deserts. The area of Texas alone would be enough to match almost all of our modern power costs (though the people who live in Texas wouldn't enjoy being displaced).
|}

==Transcript==
:'''[This transcript is only reproducing text visible on the [https://www.xkcd.com/980/ front page comic]. For the full transcript of the [http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/money_huge.png huge image], see [[980: Money/Transcript]].]'''

:[Title panel at the top left has one large heading, and then it is possible to read the first and third out of five lines (but not for instance the second line which is just the word "almost"):]
:'''Money''' 
:A chart of 
:all of it 
:[Below this there are 5 large panels, each with a series of plots, comparing the values of various things. The only clearly visible text is the title of each panel written in white on black background at the top of each panel] 
:[The first section covers single coffees up to the hourly salaries of CEOs. It is located below the title panel and there are a lot of green groups marked by unreadable text.]
:'''Dollars'''
:[The next section discusses values from around $1000 to $1,000,000, including a dissection of the song If I had $1000000. It is located directly below the Dollars section and has mainly orange groups (but also some green) marked by unreadable text.]
:'''Thousands'''
:[The third section focuses on $1,000,000 to $1,000,000,000, with a large section on campaign contributions of American political presidential campaigns, values of expensive works of art, and J. K. Rowling. It is located to the right of the Thousands section below the Billions section and there are a lot of gray groups (but also some orange) marked by unreadable text.]
:'''Millions'''
:[The fourth section gets into larger scale finances, profits of various sectors, costs of natural disasters, and net worths of the richest people on the planet. Also, Donald Trump. It is located to the right of the Dollars section and above both the Millions and Trillions section and has mainly yellow groups (but also some gray and red) all marked by unreadable text. There are, however, a few large headings that can be read:]
:'''Billions'''
:Education
:The Economic (...?)
:US household income
:Federal budget
:[In the last panel global financial status is described. It discusses derivatives, liquid assets, public debt by nation and GDP by continent, culminating with the total economic production of the human race to date. It is located below the Billions section to the right of the Millions section and has mainly cyan groups (but also one yellow) all marked by unreadable text.]
:'''Trillions'''
:'''[For the full transcript of the [http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/money_huge.png huge image], see [[980: Money/Transcript]].]'''

==Trivia==
* Randall usually posts new comics at around midnight Eastern time, but this comic was posted at about noon. The reason is that it was difficult to get it all finished in time, as was explained in the [[Blag]] post titled [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/11/24/money-chart/ Money chart] released three days later. This post also states that this was the first big project he undertook after his [https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ fiancée was diagnosed] with breast [[:Category:Cancer|cancer]].

* This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20211215032232/https://store.xkcd.com/products/money-poster available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

* Randall misspelled "communicat'''i'''on" as "communication" in the section on campaign donations, on the right of the "Millions" quadrant. This hasn't been fixed.

* This is the first xkcd comic featuring [[Donald Trump]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Playpen balls]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:The Lion King]]
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[[Category:Ghostbusters]]
[[Category:Twilight]] 
[[Category:Disney]] 
[[Category:Climate change]] 
[[Category:Food]]
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[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]
[[Category:Nuclear weapons]]
[[Category:Money]]
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996: Making Things Difficult

2026-03-31T17:03:00Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 996
| date = December 28, 2011
| title = Making Things Difficult
| image = making_things_difficult.png
| titletext = Favorite mastectomy breast prosthesis idea: a fake boob containing a spare rechargable battery, accessed via a nipple USB port. Complete with a ring of LED charge indicators in the areola!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a reference to the {{w|breast cancer}} surgery that [[Randall]]'s fiancee/wife underwent, and is one of many [[:Category:Cancer|comics about cancer]] he made because of this. This comic is the follow up appointment after the surgery. When doctor [[Ponytail]] asks [[Megan]] to take her shirt off, she refuses until Ponytail gives her a necklace of purple beads. Younger and more boorish {{w|Mardi Gras}} tourists sometimes offer necklaces like this in exchange for the [http://www.askmen.com/fine_living/travel_archive_200/217_mardi-gras-dos-and-donts.html exposure of a person's breasts.]

Megan's line "You know the rules" implies that Megan has stipulated that every time she takes off her shirt for the doctor, a necklace of beads must be exchanged. In the [http://xkcd.com/996/info.0.json official transcript] the doctor is described as an {{w|Oncologist}}, a doctor who works with cancer patients, and Megan/Randall's wife is described as a ''Delightfully Awesome Person''. It is also stated that the oncologist fake-annoyedly searches for something in pockets and that it is a Mardi Gras bead necklace she takes out.

Below the xkcd logo, in the [[Header text|header]] at the top of the comic page there is the following text: "Some context for the cancer comics:" and below that a link to a [[Blag]] post regarding [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ family-illness] that talked about the real world events leading up to this comic. This is one of the few comics where a character wears regular clothes, but doctor Ponytail has been seen before in [[883: Pain Rating]] and later in [[1713: 50 ccs]]. Megan is in both, and Cueball also in the latter.

The title text refers to a {{w|mastectomy}}, the surgical removal of one or both breasts. One possible treatment for breast cancer is to surgically remove the breast. After this procedure a false or prosthetic breast is often added to retain the prior physical appearance. The title text suggests this prosthesis could serve as a charging station by including the following features: a spare battery inside the prosthesis, a USB port where the nipple would normally be, and a ring of lights showing the charge level of the battery arranged around the {{w|areola}} (the darker circle of skin around the nipple).

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail in a doctor's coat is carrying a clipboard with lines indicating text, consulting it while Megan is sitting on a high medical table with a full body gown on. At the top there is a frame crossing over the top of the first panel with a caption:]
:Caption: Breast Cancer Surgery Follow-Up...
:Ponytail: You're looking great! Remove your top so I can check how the incision is healing.
:Megan: Nuh-uh.

:[Ponytail has taken her arm with the clipboard down, while Megan is holding her hand with a thumb up.]
:Ponytail: *Sigh*
:Ponytail: Do we have to do this ''every'' time?
:Megan: You know the rules.

:[In a frame-less panel showing only Ponytail, she searches for something in both her pockets, three sets of two small lines indicate how she moves her hands around inside them.]
:Ponytail (Mumbling to herself, in smaller text): This is so ridiculous...

:[Ponytail holds a purple bead necklace up in an outstretched arm. Megan begins to disrobe, opening the dress at her neck pulling with both arms as shown with three sets of two small lines.]
:Ponytail: Here.
:Megan: Woooo!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Doctor Ponytail]]
[[Category:Medicine]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

1031: s/keyboard/leopard/

2026-03-31T17:02:49Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 1031
| date = March 19, 2012
| title = s/keyboard/leopard/
| image = s keyboard leopard.png
| titletext = Problem Exists Between Leopard And Chair
}}
Clicking on the image takes you to [http://wiki.xkcd.com/irc/Leopard this link] (now defunct, [https://web.archive.org/web/20190810230906/http://wiki.xkcd.com:80/irc/Leopard archive]).

==Explanation==
Extensions are small programs that install into your {{w|Internet browser}} and change the Web pages as you view them. Some make pages easier to read, some remove ads (the third extension is [https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/adblock/gighmmpiobklfepjocnamgkkbiglidom AdBlock]) and so on. [[Randall]]'s browser looks like {{w|Google Chrome}} as viewed on a {{w|Mac (computer)|Mac}}, and he has installed at least four extensions on it, which explains the little symbols to the right of the address bar.

For the joke in this comic, an extension accidentally replaces the word "{{w|Computer keyboard|keyboard}}" with "{{w|leopard}}" in a regex (or {{w|regular expression}}). In computing, a regular expression provides a concise and flexible means to "match" (specify and recognize) patterns in text, such as a sequence of characters or words. This can be helpful for "substituting" such patterns with new sequences, which is colloquially known as a "find and replace" procedure.

One method to denote a string substitution is <code>s/old/new/</code>, where any occurrence of <code>old</code> is replaced with <code>new</code>. Originating from the {{w|ed (text editor)|ed text editor}}, this syntax is notably found in shell or scripting utilities for text processing. The title follows this format for changing any occurrence of "keyboard" into "leopard".

It's not clear what the extension Randall installed was actually supposed to do, but most extensions that revolve around text replacement are humorous in nature (such as [https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/cloud-to-butt-plus/apmlngnhgbnjpajelfkmabhkfapgnoai?hl=en Cloud to Butt], which replaces all instances of "[[908: The Cloud|the cloud]]" with "my butt").

The title text references the common IT phrase "Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair" or {{w|PEBKAC}}, which means that the problem is caused by the user, not by any failure of the computer. However, due to the substitution, it is now "Problem Exists Between Leopard And Chair". It could also be a reference to [[A-Minus-Minus]], the comic containing the phrase "Instead of office chair, package contained [[:Category:Bobcats|bobcat]]".

There has been several [[:Category:Substitutions|comics using substitutions]], both before and after this one.

===Sentences===
; Weird, my leopard just switched to Chinese.
: Sometimes, the keyboard settings may switch to Chinese due to a bug, or by unconsciously making the change. It is quite common for users with non-US keyboard layouts to find they have accidentally switched to the 'default', and conceivably this 'feature' could work the other way. Especially on systems with significant historic Chinese involvement in its [[2166: Stack|development]].
: Leopards are not known to speak at all, let alone Chinese. Alternately, it refers to a change in diet of {{w|Man-eater|one form}} or {{w|Chinese restaurant|another}}.

; I work with one leopard on my desk and another in the leopard tray.
: Keyboards often take up desk space, and one solution is to have a [https://www.bpfonline.co.uk/search.asp?catid=2737 keyboard tray] that slides from under the desk, or out of the computer cabinet, when needed. This person apparently has two ''separate'' keyboards attached to their system(s), one taking up desk space and the other on the tray. This is probably more convenient than having two keyboards side by side (or on top of each other) on the desktop or two separate 'trays' (or two keyboards somehow jammed into the same tray), and often a person with such a requirement will have a computer for typical use (with the most accessible keyboard) and a second one only occasional use (with the second keyboard). They could also use a {{w|KVM switch}} for some of the peripherals, but it may not be quite as convenient or as easy to set up as to double up on the keyboards.
: Leopards are traditionally solitary animals outside of mating season, or when a mother is raising her cub(s), and so however practical it is to have two leopards in close proximity, it might be a somewhat necessary compromise to give them each their own area in a given workspace. However, it is generally uncommon to put a leopard in a ''tray'' specifically.{{Citation needed}}

; Ever cleaned a leopard? They're ''filthy''.
: Most people will use a keyboard for a long time, rarely replacing them unless they are actually broken, and possibly using old ones with new computers (if not integrated within their system, as with laptops). All this time, general detritus, skin, hair and even scraps of food will accumulate upon and beneath the keys unless cleaned thoroughly. Most people don't try to clean a keyboard ''until'' the accumulated grime starts to make typing a problem with less sensitive (or over sensitive!) keys. If you're finding it necessary to clean a keyboard at all, you will probably find quite a lot of filth to clean off/out.
: Leopards, like most cats, are generally adept at keeping themselves clean. However, as a wild animal they're perhaps considered less 'clean' than one would hope a household or workplace appliance might be, and this would depend upon one's attitude to their grooming by licking themselves all over.

; The iPhone virtual leopard is the fastest IMO.
: The response time of a keyboard is one of the factors that determine its quality, and the ability to rapidly enter characters (words, code, commands). A {{w|virtual keyboard}}, often implemented as a touch-screen 'app', has to integrate into the interface and the speaker here apparently rates the default iPhone type more than others of this kind.
: Real leopards are known to run fast. It is possible that a virtual leopard may be made to exemplify this speed. The makers of the iPhone have possibly made a virtual leopard that is faster than all real leopards, or at least they have made ''their'' virtual leopard faster than all other virtual leopards from all other vendors.

; I rarely email from my phone—I'm so slow when I'm not on a leopard.
: A disadvantage with virtual keyboards is often the lack of {{w|Haptic technology|haptic feedback}}, as well as the compressed and compromised layout required to fit the keys within interface. It is often much easier to use a proper full-sized keyboard, whether you hunt-and-peck or are an accomplished touch-typist, although this may depend a lot on practice.
: In the context of leopards, the individual concerned seems to appreciate the advantages of being on an actual leopard when emailing, as it makes them faster. This could mean faster because the leopard itself is wont to run around. Or perhaps it is because sitting on the back of a leopard (not particularly known for being a patient beast of burden) means you ''have'' to do what you are trying to do much faster, before the consequences being on a (possibly annoyed) leopard literally come back to bite you.

; My leopard died when I spilled tea on it :(
: Keyboards are not generally waterproof, and react badly to any liquid spill upon them. If you are lucky, you can quickly drain them, let them dry and they will not suffer too many ill effects in the long run. But, if the less resiliant electronics get directly affected, it can mean having to replace the now unresponsive keyboard.
: Leopards are animals which eventually die. They are not known to be particularly susceptible to tea, as a substance, although the typically very hot water would not be comfortable and might contribute to the mortality of one in certain circumstances. Either way, it seems like an upsetting experience. "My leopard" suggests (as with several of the above) that a leopard is being kept as a pet, working animal or perhaps a personal zoo inhabitant, and the loss certainly seems more than if a random leopard were accidentally splashed with a drink.

== Transcript ==
:[There are two browser windows open on a computer screen.]
:[The first browser window, taking up most of the screen, but partly blocked by the other window at the bottom, has a Wikipedia article open. The title of the page can be seen on the active tab.]
:Computer leopard - Wikip...
:[Next to the address bar are four add-ons and the toolbar icon. One of the add-ons is a letter:]
:R
:[To the left on the page are standard menus, with lots of unreadable text, except these words:]
:Help
:Go Search
:[The page is not at the top of the article, so the text begins mid sentence, the very top of the letters just cut of in the first visible sentence.]
:which range from pocket-sized leopards to large desktop leopards, the leopard remains the most common user input device. In addition to text entry, specialized leopards are used for computer gaming.
:While many computer interfaces rely on mice or touchscreens, UNIX-style command-line interfaces require users to interact with a leopard.
:[Below is the contents list - the text in the brackets can barely be read. And only the very top of the 2.3 line can be seen, and is thus only a qualified guess at what it was supposed to say, although it fits with the real wiki article.]
:Contents [hide]
:1. History
:2. Leopard types
::2.1 Standard
::2.2 Laptop-sized
::2.3 Thumb-sized
:[To the right there is a picture of a keyboard. The picture text written below:]
:IBM Model M Leopard

:[The second browser window overlapping the first, at the level of the 2.3 menu point in the content menu, is a message board. The title of the page can be seen on the active tab:]
:Discuss - Leopard issu...
:[Next to the address bar are four add-ons and the toolbar icon. One of the add-ons is a letter:]
:R
:[In the window there is a list of topics next to icons of those starting the topic. The top post is just inside the frame, the icon cut of at the very top.]
:[Face of Cueball-like guy on white background:]
:Weird, my leopard just switched to Chinese.
::3 days ago
:[Super close-up of the head of a person with dark hair on black background:]
:I work with one leopard on my desk and another in the leopard tray.
::3 days ago
:[Full picture of a Cueball-like guy, with white background in the bottom half and dark in the upper half (which would conceal any hair on the persons head):]
:Ever cleaned a leopard? They're ''filthy''.
::2 days ago
:[Head of a cat on black background:]
:The iPhone virtual leopard is the fastest IMO.
::19 hours ago
:[Head of a girl with long blond hair on white background:]
:I rarely email from my phone—I'm so slow when I'm not on a leopard.
::11 hours ago
:[Head of Cueball-like guy. A line seems to be going our from his head, but it could just be one of the lines used to fill in the background:]
:My leopard died when I spilled tea on it :(
::2 hours ago

:[Below the main panel of the comic is the following caption:]
:The Internet got 100 times better when, thanks to an extension with a typo'd regex, my browser started replacing the word "keyboard" with "leopard".

==Trivia==
When first posted, the title of the comic was <code>s/keyboard/leopard</code>, with the last slash erroneously missing. This would have failed for not following the common syntax and was later fixed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Substitutions]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Regex]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

1037: Umwelt

2026-03-31T17:02:38Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 1037
| date = April 1, 2012
| title = Umwelt
| image = umwelt_the_void.jpg
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 5
| date = April 1, 2012
| days_late =
| day_category = Sunday
| prev_title = 880: Headache
| prev_date = April 1, 2011
| next_title = 1193: Externalities
| next_date = April 1, 2013
| extra_text =
}}
{{TOC}}To view your personal version of the comic, visit the {{xkcd|1037|original comic}}.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Most versions have very little explanation, mostly just naming where the comics are found.}}

This was the fifth [[:Category:April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous fools comic was [[880: Headache]] from Friday April 1st 2011. The next was [[1193: Externalities]] released on Monday April 1st 2013. The most recent was [[2916: Machine]]

An {{w|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that a person's entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this April Fools' Day comic changes based on the browser, location, or referrer. Thus what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day, although only one is seen.
(The term 'Umwelt,' as mentioned in the comic, refers to the semiotic theories of Jakob von Uexküll and Thomas A. Sebeok)

Information about how the wide variety of data was collected and credit for the viewers who contributed can be found [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/rnst4/april_fools_xkcd_changing_comic/ here].

===The Void===
[[File:umwelt the void.jpg]]

If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

Possible reference to The Ring (https://imgur.com/wlGmm), as though to suggest that using an alternative browser is dismal and horrific.

Davean (xkcd's sysadmin): "[This] comic isn't available everywhere and it can come up i[n] some situation[s] only for recognized browsers."{{Actual citation needed}}

Browser: Alternative Browser

===Aurora===
[[File:umwelt aurora.png|800px]]

One could interpret that since [[Megan]] didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the {{w|Aurora}} (northern lights), [[Knit Cap]] lied about it. That way, Megan wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out. Another interpretation could be that she decides that since Megan did not even bother to go outside to see such a spectacular sight she will not tell her about it. And yet another could be that she did not think it was interesting.

Knit Cap could possibly also be red-green colorblind, seeing the green aurorae as grey "clouds". This would serve as an example for the theme of the comic, as a non-colorblind person and a colorblind person seeing the same color would perceive it differently, one seeing it as its true color, and the other seeing it without the shade of color they cannot see. If this is the case, then it would be a reference to umwelt, as Knit Cap would be living in a world where the auroras do not reach his location.

In real life, [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-northern-lights-dont-look-anything-like-they-do-in-photos_n_5500a4d9e4b0e62d0dd4f9bb aurorae are usually seen as grey/white clouds] to the naked eye, as our eyes cannot perceive the "greener" colors as well in the dark.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Locations: Canada, Boston, Indiana, Maine, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Texas, Minnesota, Norway, Denmark, France, Ireland, Rhode Island, Mississippi, Seoul (Safari), London (on Firefox), China (on Firefox and Safari), Finland (Uses "Canada"). Also in Virginia, but using Ohio in the first panel; in Wisconsin, Maryland and the Philippines, but using Canada in the first panel; in Marion, Illinois, but using Canada in the first panel along with the phrase "as far south as us" in the first panel, and in Utah, also using the phrase "as far south as us", same with Colombia, Spain, Georgia, Florida, Iowa, Washington State, Michigan, and California.

In [[1302: Year in Review]] a possibly different Megan has a completely different approach to the chance of seeing northern lights, as that was the only event she was looking forward to in 2013, and it failed. If this is the same Megan, perhaps she learned that there actually were northern lights in her area from another source, and so desperately wanted to have another chance to see them.

===Snake===
[[File:umwelt snake composite 1024.png|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt snake composite.png|Full size]]

The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest living snake is the {{w|reticulated python}}, the longest ever measuring over 22 feet (6.95 meters). The blue and orange circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel, where there is a large bulge in the snake that looks like an elephant. The Little Prince starts out by mentioning a drawing that the author made when he was six that showed an elephant inside a snake.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Specific AltText for this image: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit -from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your browser window size.

Location: Texas (on Chrome Version 33.0.1750.154 m), New Jersey, California (on Chrome Version 39.0.2171.95), Maryland, Massachusetts (Safari for iOS, Chrome version 49.0.2623.112), Connecticut (Safari for iOS, Chrome Version 73.0.3683.103, Internet Explorer and Microsoft Edge), Virginia (on Chrome), Michigan (Firefox v46.0.1), Penang (Chrome Version 65.0.3325.162), London (Microsoft Edge), Spain/Barcelona (on Brave) Germany (on Opera One (version: 106.0.4998.70)), Fruita, Colorado (on Chrome for Android version 123.0.6312.80), China (Chrome and Edge), Australia (Chrome, version 137.0.7151.56, but only in guest mode).

===Black Hat===
[[File:umwelt tortoise 1024.png|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt tortoise.png|Full size]]

Cueball as an analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. Cueball's quote and the whole setup is a direct reference to the movie {{w|Blade Runner}} (1982) and Black Hat is taking the Voight-Kampff test which is used to identify replicants from real humans.

Black Hat's reason for not helping the tortoise is that ''it '''knows''' what it did'' and thus in Black Hat's world view it deserves being turned over. The final part of the joke is that when zooming out it turns out that there is a tortoise behind Black Hat and he has actually already turned it over for what it did.

Location: Seems to appear mostly in "other countries" — those without location-specific comics.

===Too Quiet===
[[File:umwelt too quiet 1024.png|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt too quiet.png|Full size]]

A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

Location: short version — iPhone 5c Safari browser in Texas, iPhone 5 Chrome Browser in Minnesota, long version - Google Chrome browser in Indiana, Windows 8 Laptop

===Pond===
[[File:umwelt pond mobile.png]][[File:umwelt pond wide.png]]

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Location: The Netherlands and various other countries.

===Galaxies===
[[File:umwelt galaxies 1024.jpg|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt galaxies.jpg|Full size]]

Megan is distracted from her conversation with [[Cueball]] by realizing that the space behind his head, from her vantage point, contains millions of galaxies. This is similar to an [https://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/image/astro/hst_deep_field.jpg incredible photograph] taken by the Hubble Telescope, in which a tiny dark area of space in fact contained numerous galaxies.

The title text is an imaginative leap from this scenario: that the galaxies would be up to no good once Cueball is turned away from them.

This comic was only reported once... the intended environmental context is a mystery.

Location: unknown - sole report happened in Minnesota on Opera browser from a small ISP

===xkcd Gold===
[[File:umwelt xkcd gold.png]]

This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" or "/z/ bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

Referrer: 4chan

===Yo Mama===
[[File:umwelt dog ballast.png]]

Possible reference to Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s "{{w|Harrison Bergeron}}."

The joke is that people's different experiences shape how they perceive the world in that the people who live in this world would perceive the joke as funny, while people in our world would not get it. This is the idea of umwelt mentioned at the top of the context where different individuals perceive the world differently.

Refer: Facebook

===Reddit===
[[File:umwelt reddit.png]]

Reference to referencing, because Reddit, as a referring site, likes references to its referencing in its references.

This comic also features recursive imagery similar to [[688: Self-Description]] where the second panel embeds the entire comic within itself. (Except, conspicuously, the arrow indicating that it is "You" in the first panel.)

One of the browser tabs visible in the center panel is {{w|Elk}} on Wikipedia.

Referrer: Reddit

===Buns and Hot dogs===
[[File:umwelt somethingawful.jpg]]

This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?"

Another, more sexual reference to this question can be found in [[1641: Hot Dogs]].

Referrer: SomethingAwful, Questionable Content, & MetaFilter

===Twitter===
[[File:umwelt twitter.jpg]]

A summary of the "content" typically found on Twitter.

In the tweet feed, there are three tweets about some podcast on the top, followed by the tweet containing link they clicked on to get to the comic, tweets about Rob Delaney, unspecified passive-aggressive tweets, and a tweet from {{w|Horse_ebooks}} retweeted by one of the users the reader follows.

On the left, the topmost dialog, with profile information, shows that the user has posted 1,302 tweets, but only follows 171 people and has even fewer followers, at a measly 48. This is marked with a sad face, implying that the user wants more followers.

Below that is the "who to follow" dialog, which is written up as consisting of "assholes".

Below that is the "trending tags" dialog for the United States. It is full of tags about word games, tags about misogyny, and tags about Justin Bieber.

Below that is an unidentified dialog full of "stuff your eyes automatically ignore". And finally, on the bottom is the background color, which is "a really pleasant blue".

"Aggression" is misspelled.

Referrer: Twitter

===Wikipedia===
[[File:umwelt wikipedia wide.jpg]]
[[File:umwelt wikipedia mobile.png]]

The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have had sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic.

Two different versions shown, the narrower version (the single panel with all the text) for mobile devices.

Referrer: Wikipedia

===Google Chrome===
[[File:umwelt chrome1.jpg]]

{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

Browser: Chrome

===Chrome/Firefox===
[[File:umwelt chrome2.png]]

Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X and Linux, with a mobile version for Android and iOS, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} that fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser.

Browser: Chrome

===Google Chrome-2===
[[File:umwelt chrome3.png]]

This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece. When completing jigsaw puzzles, a common strategy is to figure out where the pieces must be from their geometry rather than from the picture they create. In this case, the text suggests that Chrome believes the puzzle piece connects to the pieces which form one of the corners of the puzzle, which may seem impossible because any piece that links up to a corner would usually have at least one flat edge, which this piece has none. However, more complicated puzzles have complex shapes and are not always simply approximate squares with tabs and blanks.

Browser: Chrome or silk on desktop view

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[[File:umwelt firefox incognito.png]]

Another reference to crashing web browsers.
Firefox shows the history when it crashes.

Browser: Firefox (Incognito only?)

===Internet Explorer===
[[File:umwelt ie.png]]

This is yet another reference to crashing web browsers but instead, Internet Explorer has given up. It could be because there are too many sessions, they are shutting it down, or maybe it was too lazy to do anything.

Browser: Internet Explorer

===Maxthon===
[[File:umwelt maxthon.png]]

Browser: {{w|Maxthon}}

===Netscape Navigator===
[[File:umwelt netscape womanoctopus.png]]

[[File:umwelt netscape man.png]]

{{w|Netscape Navigator}} was a web browser popular in the 1990s.

Browser: Netscape

===Rockmelt===
[[File:umwelt rockmelt.png|850px]]

{{w|Rockmelt}} is a social-media-based browser.

Reference to the gospel song {{w|Longing for Old Virginia: Their Complete Victor Recordings (1934)|"There's no hiding place down here" by The Carter Family}}, later covered by Stephen Stills.

:I run to the rock just to hide my face
:And the rocks cried out, no hiding place
:There's no hiding place down here

It may additionally be a reference to the ''Babylon 5'' episode "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place," which featured the song.

Browser: Rockmelt

===Plugin Disabled===
[[File:umwelt plugin disabled.png]]

When the Google Chrome web browser does not have the required software (called a plug-in) to display a web page's content, it displays a puzzle piece icon and an error message. In this case, Chrome informs the user that the content is impossible to display.

Browser: Plugin (?) Disabled, Safari Desktop

===Corporate Networks===
[[File:umwelt corporate general.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate google chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes other.png]]

These error messages appear if the user is on a network owned by one of the corporations noted. The error message includes a warning against speaking on the company's behalf.

ISP: Corporate networks of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, NY Times

===Military===
[[File:umwelt military.png]]

[[Cueball]] assumes that anyone using a military network has an important job like watching for incoming missiles. He includes a thank-you to the user for their military service.

ISP: Military networks

===T-Mobile===
[[File:umwelt tmobile.png]]

Reference to T-Mobile's distinguishing feature (at the time it was written) of weaker coverage, in relation to other major providers.

ISP: T-Mobile

===Verizon and AT&T===
[[File:umwelt verizon.png]]

[[File:umwelt att.png]]

Reference to Verizon and AT&T's scandals/controversy regarding implementation of bandwidth caps.

ISP: Verizon and AT&T

===France===
[[File:umwelt france.jpg|850px]]

A common joke about France is that the nation does not win wars. This originated from France's annexation by Germany during World War II, and America's late entry into the war, which is sometimes portrayed humorously as a case of America 'saving' Europe, in this joke particularly France (the role of the French resistance is usually not mentioned), leading to a common American joke at the expense of France's military prowess [https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html][https://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm][https://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm]. When France did not form part of the coalition that invaded Iraq in 2003, aligning with the many countries that condemned U.S. action, the joke was revived.

A Google search of "French Military Victories" + 'I'm feeling lucky' used to direct to "did you mean: french military defeats" (due to a {{w|Google bomb}}). Cueball is trying to show this to his friend, who is French. However, his joke backfires, as his friend immediately points out that the stereotype of France not having military victories is undercut by the fact that one of the most innovative military commanders in history, Napoleon, was French by citizenship (though Italian/Corsican by culture, as the French annexed Corsica a few months before his birth to an Italian noble family), and in fact conquered much of Europe.

Following the theme of umwelt, the comic highlights the two characters' differing perspectives: The American thinks that France is a military failure, while the Frenchman thinks of Napoleon.

The last line of the comic further implies that Cueball is not as smart as he thinks he is in regards to anything French, as he mispronounces the French loan word "{{w|Touché (fencing)|touché}}".

Locations: France & Quebec

===Germany===
[[File:umwelt germany.png]]

This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force. Note East Germany wasn't blockaded, only West Berlin. "Blockade" is misspelled.

Location: Germany

===Israel===
[[File:umwelt israel.png]]

Translation: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

A reference to the multiple use of the word Jewish to denote both a {{w|Judaism|religious group}} and a {{w|Jews|nationality/ethnicity}}, as well as the stereotype of Jews holding low opinions of interfaith marriage.

A side note: Randall accidentally drew an apostrophe instead of the similar-looking Hebrew letter י everywhere that letter should appear.

Location: Israel

===Carnot Cycle===
[[File:umwelt japan.png]]

A pun on "cycle"; a "{{w|Carnot cycle}}" is a thermodynamic cycle (e.g. refrigeration). Its efficiency depends on the temperature of the hot and cold 'reservoirs' in which it is operating. The icon on the side of the motorcycle resembles a [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/06/Carnot_cycle_p-V_diagram.svg/1000px-Carnot_cycle_p-V_diagram.svg.png graph of the Carnot cycle.]

Location: Japan

===UK===
[[File:umwelt uk.jpg|850px]]

He worded this as though to imply that the UK is a state of the U.S., and an unimportant one at that, which pokes fun at the UK, creating a paradox (sort of).

Location: UK

===Blizzard===
[[File:umwelt disasters blizzard.png|850px]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or blizzards are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe blizzard, while the Northeasterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild blizzard.

For each particular location in which this displayed, the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Georgia, Halifax, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, the Northeast, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Texas, Toronto, Tennessee, New York, Wisconsin

===Tornado===
[[File:umwelt disasters tornado.png|850px]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or tornadoes are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe tornado, while the Midwesterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild tornado. It's similar to [[#Blizzard|Blizzard]].

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Dallas, Illinois, Georgia, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Tennessee, Texas (and Virginia, but it used Ohio in the third panel)

Tornadoes are a [[:Category:Tornadoes|recurring subject]] on xkcd. The picture used in [[1754: Tornado Safety Tips]] very reminiscent of the one from this version of Umwelt. [[Category:Tornadoes]]

===Hurricane===
[[File:umwelt disasters hurricane.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or hurricanes are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe hurricane, while the Easterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild hurricane. It's similar to [[#Blizzard|Blizzard]] and [[#Tornado|Tornado]].

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: D.C, Florida, Georgia, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia

===Lake Diver Killer===
[[File:umwelt lake diver.png]]

This comic shows a news reporter standing in front of a lake. She is reporting on a serial killer who targets divers. As more divers are sent in to investigate and/or search for bodies, more divers go missing, the implication being that they were also murdered. The more likely reason is the lake itself is dangerous for diving, and the divers probably drowned from natural hazards (undercurrents, entanglement, running out of oxygen in tanks, etc.) instead of a malicious assailant. Also, this is a sort of loop, where each time a diver gets killed, the investigative team goes and investigates, causing more divers to get killed, causing more deaths, and so on.

Location: Bay Areas, Metro Detroit, Vermont showed an image specifically referencing Lake Champlain

===Lincoln Memorial===
[[File:umwelt lincoln memorial.png]]

{{w|Abraham Lincoln}}, the 16th president of the United States of America, was not an entity composed wholly of nanobots that attempted to consume the entire nation to then be imprisoned within the {{w|Lincoln Memorial}}.{{Citation needed}} The inscription references the epitaph at the actual Lincoln Memorial, which reads "In this temple, as in the hearts of the people for whom he saved the union, the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever".

Locations: Illinois & Washington, D.C.

===Helicopter Hunting===
[[File:umwelt helicoptor.png]]

In Alaska, governments and individuals have {{w|Wolf hunting#North America 2|shot wolves en masse from helicopters}} in an attempt to artificially inflate populations of game, such as moose and caribou, to make hunting them easier. This is opposed by many, as the game populations are not endangered (thus, this threatens ecological balance); wolves are a small threat to livestock in North America; most of the wolf body —including meat and bones— goes wasted as they are sought mainly for their pelts.

Knowledge of this issue was popularized by press around vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's support for this culling method.

Location: Alaska

===Newspaper===
[[File:umwelt life scientists.png]]

[[File:umwelt life rit.png]]

[[File:umwelt life umass.png]]

Creating new life has long been a well understood process, in a lab or otherwise.

This comic is likely a reference to the title text of [[983: Privacy]]

Location: Various

Specific versions appeared for RIT and UMass Amherst

===Robot Paul Revere===
[[File:umwelt paul revere.png]]

Combination of the legend of {{w|Paul Revere#"Midnight Ride"|Paul Revere}} and a computer bit that differentiates between two situations by indicating a zero or a one.

Location: Boston

===Counting Cards===

All four colleges in this series are in Massachusetts and, being similar, in pairs, rival each other to some extent (Harvard-MIT and Smith-Wellesley). The comic contains a reference to the {{w|MIT Blackjack Team}}, which entered popular culture via the {{w|21 (2008 film)|film 21}}, and a possible reference to Orwell's book '1984' and/or {{w|Chain of Command (Star Trek: The Next Generation)|popular homage to it via Star Trek}}: "There are four lights."[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChYIm6MW39k]

Bonus: The thought-gears in panel 3 are spinning against each other.

Location: Harvard

[[File:umwelt counting cards harvard.png]]

Location: MIT

[[File:umwelt counting cards mit.png]]

"Course 15s" at MIT are the business major students, often mocked for taking a less-rigorous program. The different interpretation for why the MIT students could not count cards compared to Harvard may be a reference to the theme of umwelt.

Location: Smith

[[File:umwelt counting cards smith.png]]

Location: Wellesley

[[File:umwelt counting cards wellesley.png]]

Both Wellesley and Smith are all-women colleges in Massachusetts.

===Giant Box Trap===
[[File:umwelt box trap.png]]

Randall got his undergrad in Physics at the {{w|Christopher Newport University}}, and was scheduled to return shortly to give a talk. The "Trible" figure on the right is Paul Trible, the then-president of CNU. This comic depicts a classic trap, where an upside-down box is propped up with a stick. When the stick is removed, by pulling a string, the box falls and traps whatever is underneath it. Aside from the joke of the obvious trap, there's also the fact that the president would not be responsible for revoking unearned diplomas.

Location: Christopher Newport University

===Chemo Support===
[[File:umwelt chemo.jpg]]

[[Cueball]] has shaved his head in support of people going through {{w|chemotherapy}} but, as he is always depicted as a stick figure with no hair, no one can tell.

Randall's now-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and apparently DFCI is where they've been spending much of their time.

Location: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

===Reviews===
[[File:reviews.png]]

The previous strip appears twice when using [[wikipedia:Tor (anonymity network)|Tor]].

This strip was previously used in [[1036: Reviews]].

Browser: Any using Tor, xkcd API (JSON, RSS, Atom), w3m and reports of seeing it on a Kindle Fire HD, unixkcd; also happens if visiting with a browser that does not support JavaScript (such as Firefox with NoScript)

===Nothing===

[[File:Umwelt blank.jpg]]

In some cases, the comic can be completely absent, with only the top and bottom buttons visible. On most newer browsers, this is caused by a script loading part of the comic via an HTTP request while the rest of the webpage is delivered over HTTPS. This is referred to as [https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/Security/Mixed_content mixed content] and is blocked on modern browsers by default due to security concerns. This version of the comic is therefore likely not an intended outcome, but rather an unintended consequence of how this comic was implemented. [https://mastodon.social/@chromakode/109531309722997557 It has been confirmed] that this was not intentional and will be fixed. Since this comic's release, all devices viewing it have returned two rows of navigation buttons if near IP address 69.114.249.104.

The http(s) issue seems to have been fixed.

==Transcript==
:'''[This section only covers the first three comics. For the transcript of the entire comic, go to the [[1037: Umwelt/Transcript|full transcript page]].]'''

===The Void===
:[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

===Aurora===
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: Hockey's on.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

===Aurora-US===
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada. CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: It's cold out.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

===Snake===
:[Two people standing next to each other. Megan is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

:Megan: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

:'''[For the transcript of the entire comic, go to the [[1037: Umwelt/Transcript|full transcript page]].]'''

==Trivia==
* The Reddit user [https://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations. Much of his information is now included in this wiki.
* At the start of the [https://xkcd.com/1037/info.0.json official transcript of this comic], the writer added a note alluding to its extreme length:
:: <nowiki>[[Two people...]]</nowiki>
:: ((..wait.. <scrolls through a listing of everything> oh goddammit Randall. Thanks a bunch, dude. I better get a raise for typing out all this))
* This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the third comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fools' joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2nd. The next comic, [[1038: Fountain]], was first released on Wednesday, April 4th. This was the first that could be different for different readers.
* This comic displays the previous comic, Reviews (1036), when you try to view it on [[unixkcd]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
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[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
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[[Category:Philosophy]]
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[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

1047: Approximations

2026-03-31T17:02:21Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 1047
| date = April 25, 2012
| title = Approximations
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = approximations.png
| titletext = Two tips: 1) 8675309 is not just prime, it's a twin prime, and 2) if you ever find yourself raising log(anything)^e or taking the pi-th root of anything, set down the marker and back away from the whiteboard; something has gone horribly wrong.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic lists some approximations for numbers, most of them mathematical and physical constants, but some of them jokes and cultural references.

Approximations like these are sometimes used as {{w|mnemonic}}s by mathematicians and physicists, though most of Randall's approximations are too convoluted to be useful as mnemonics. Perhaps the best known mnemonic approximation (though not used here by Randall) is that "π is approximately equal to 22/7". Randall does mention (and mock) the common mnemonic among physicists that the {{w|fine structure constant}} is approximately 1/137. Although Randall gives approximations for the number of seconds in a year, he does not mention the common physicists' mnemonic that it is "π × 107", though he later added a statement to the top of the comic page addressing this point.

At the bottom of the comic are expressions involving {{w|transcendental numbers}} (namely π and e) that are tantalizingly close to being exactly true but are not (indeed, they cannot be, due to the nature of transcendental numbers). Such near-equations were previously discussed in [[217: e to the pi Minus pi]]. One of the entries, though, is a "red herring" that is exactly true.

Randall says he compiled this table through "a mix of trial-and-error, ''{{w|Mathematica}}'', and Robert Munafo's [http://mrob.com/pub/ries/ Ries] tool." "Ries" is a "{{w|Closed-form expression#Conversion from numerical forms|reverse calculator}}" that forms equations matching a given number.

The {{w|world population}} estimate for 2026 is still roughly accurate. The estimate is 8.1 billion, and the population listed at the website census.gov is roughly the same. The current value can be found here: [https://www.census.gov/popclock/ United States Census Bureau - U.S. and World Population Clock]. Nevertheless, there are other numbers listed by different sources.

The first part of the title text notes that "Jenny's constant," which is actually a telephone number referenced in Tommy Tutone's 1982 song {{w|867-5309/Jenny}}, is not only prime but a {{w|twin prime}} because 8675311 is also a prime. Twin primes have always been a subject of interest, because they are comparatively rare, and because it is not yet known whether there are infinitely many of them. Twin primes were also referenced in [[1310: Goldbach Conjectures]].

The second part of the title text makes fun of the unusual mathematical operations contained in the comic. {{w|Pi|π}} is a useful number in many contexts, but it doesn't usually occur anywhere in an exponent. Even when it does, such as with complex numbers, taking the πth root is rarely helpful. A rare exception is an [http://gosper.org/4%5E1%C3%B7%CF%80.png identity] for the pi-th root of 4 discovered by Bill Gosper. Similarly, {{w|e (mathematical constant)|e}} typically appears in the base of a power (forming the {{w|exponential function}}), not in the exponent. (This is later referenced in [http://what-if.xkcd.com/73/ Lethal Neutrinos]).

In [[217: e to the pi Minus pi]] and [[3023: The Maritime Approximation]] Randall gives other approximations based on numerical coincidences.

===Equations===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="center"|Thing to be approximated:
!align="center"|Formula proposed
!align="center"|Resulting approximate value
!align="center"|Correct value
!align="center"|Discussion
!align="center"|Error
|-
|align="center"|One {{w|light year}} (meters)
|align="center"|998
|align="center"|9,227,446,944,279,201
|align="center"|9,460,730,472,580,800 (exact)
|align="left"|Based on 365.25 days per year (see below). 998 and 698 are [[487: Numerical Sex Positions|sexual references]].
|align="center"|2.3328353 × 1014
|-
|align="center"|Earth's surface (m2)
|align="center"|698
|align="center"|513,798,374,428,641
|align="center"|5.10072 × 1014
|align="left"|998 and 698 are [[487: Numerical Sex Positions|sexual references]].
|align="center"|3.7263744 × 1012
|-
|align="center"|Oceans' volume (m3)
|align="center"|919
|align="center"|1,350,851,717,672,992,089
|align="center"|1.332 × 1018
|align="left"|
|-
|align="center"|Seconds in a year
|align="center"|754
|align="center"|31,640,625
|align="center"|31,557,600 (Julian calendar), 31,556,952 (Gregorian calendar)
|align="left"|After this comic was released [[Randall]] got many responses by viewers. So he did add this statement to the top of the comic page:
"Lots of emails mention the physicist favorite, 1 year = pi × 107 seconds. 754 is a hair more accurate, but it's hard to top 3,141,592's elegance." π × 107 is nearly equal to 31,415,926.536, and 754 is exactly 31,640,625. Randall's elegance belongs to the number π, but it should be multiplied by the factor of ten.

Using the traditional definitions that a second is 1/60 of a minute, a minute is 1/60 of an hour, and an hour is 1/24 of a day, a 365-day common year is exactly 31,536,000 seconds (the "''Rent'' method" approximation) and the 366-day leap year is 31,622,400 seconds. Until the calendar was reformed by Pope Gregory, there was one leap year in every four years, making the average year 365.25 days, or 31,557,600 seconds. On the current calendar system, there are only 97 leap years in every 400 years, making the average year 365.2425 days, or 31,556,952 seconds. In technical usage, a "second" is now defined based on physical constants, even though the length of a day varies inversely with the changing angular velocity of the earth. To keep the official time synchronized with the rotation of the earth, a "leap second" is occasionally added, resulting in a slightly longer year.
|-
|align="center"|Seconds in a year (''Rent'' method)
|align="center"|525,600 × 60
|align="center"|31,536,000
|align="center"|31,557,600 (Julian calendar), 31,556,952 (Gregorian calendar)
|align="left"|"''Rent'' Method" refers to the song "{{w|Seasons of Love}}" from the musical ''{{w|Rent (musical)|Rent}}''. The song asks, "How do you measure a year?" One line says "525,600 minutes" while most of the rest of the song suggests the best way to measure a year is moments shared with a loved one. This method for remembering how many seconds are in a year was also referenced in ''{{what if|23|Short Answer Section II}}'', where [[Cueball]] gets the song stuck in his head whilst calculating how many counterfeit bills he can print in a year.
|-
|align="center"|Age of the universe (seconds)
|align="center"|1515
|align="center"|437,893,890,380,859,375
|align="center"|(4.354 ± 0.012) × 1017 (best estimate; exact value unknown)
|align="left"|This one will slowly get more accurate as the universe ages.
|-
|align="center"|Planck's constant
|align="center"|<math>\frac {1} {30^{\pi^e}}</math>
|align="center"|6.6849901410 × 10−34
|align="center"|6.62606957 × 10−34
|align="left"|Informally, the {{w|Planck constant}} is the smallest action possible in quantum mechanics.
|-
|align="center"|Fine structure constant
|align="center"|<math>\frac{1}{140}</math>
|align="center"|0.00714285
|align="center"|0.0072973525664 (accepted value as of 2014), close to 1/137
|align="left"|The {{w|fine structure constant}} indicates the strength of electromagnetism. It is unitless and around 0.007297, close to 1/137. The joke here is that Randall chose to write 140 as the denominator, when 137 is much closer to reality and just as many digits (although 137 is a less "round" number than 140, and Randall writes in the table that he's "had enough" of it). At one point the fine structure constant was believed to be exactly the reciprocal of 137, and many people have tried to find a simple formula explaining this (with a pinch of {{w|numerology}} thrown in at times), including the infamous {{w|Arthur Eddington|Sir Arthur "Adding-One" Eddington}} who argued very strenuously that the fine structure constant "should" be 1/136 when that was what the best measurements suggested, and then argued just as strenuously for 1/137 a few years later as measurements improved.
|-
|align="center"|Fundamental charge
|align="center"|<math>\frac {3} {14 \pi^{\pi^\pi}}</math>
|align="center"|1.59895121062716 × 10−19
|align="center"|1.602176634 × 10−19
|align="left"|This is the charge of the proton, symbolized ''e'' for electron (whose charge is actually −''e''. You can blame Benjamin Franklin [[567: Urgent Mission|for that]].)
|-
|align="center"|Telephone number for the {{w|White House}} switchboard
|align="center"|<math>\frac {1} {e^ {\sqrt[\pi] {1 + \sqrt[e-1] 8}} }</math>
|align="center"|0.2024561414932
|align="center"|202-456-1414
|align="left"|
|-
|align="center"|Jenny's constant
|align="center"|<math>\left( 7^ {\frac{e}{1} - \frac{1}{e}} - 9 \right) \pi^2</math>
|align="center"|867.5309019
|align="center"|867-5309
|align="left"|A telephone number referenced in {{w|Tommy Tutone}}'s 1982 song {{w|867-5309/Jenny}}. As mentioned in the title text, the number is not only prime but a {{w|twin prime}} because 8675311 is also a prime.
|-
|align="center"|World population estimate (billions)
|align="center"|Equivalent to <math>6 + \frac {\frac34 y + \frac14 (y \operatorname{mod} 4) - 1499} {10}</math>
|align="center"|2005 — 6.5 
2006 — 6.6 
2007 — 6.7 
2008 — 6.7 
2009 — 6.8 
2010 — 6.9 
2011 — 7.0 
2012 — 7.0 
2013 — 7.1 
2014 — 7.2 
2015 — 7.3 
2016 — 7.3 
2017 — 7.4 
2018 — 7.5 
2019 — 7.6 
2020 — 7.6 
2021 — 7.7 
2022 — 7.8 
2023 — 7.9 
2024 — 7.9 
2025 — 8.0 
2026 — 8.1 
2027 — 8.2 
2028 — 8.2 
2029 — 8.3 
2030 — 8.4 
2031 — 8.5 
2032 — 8.5 
2033 — 8.6 
2034 — 8.7 
2035 — 8.8 
|align="center"|
|align="left"|Grows by 75 million every year on average (100 million every year, except for a pause every leap-year). As of 2025, still more or less accurate. (8.0B)
|-
|align="center"|U.S. population estimate (millions)
|align="center"|Equivalent to <math>310 + 3(y - 2010)</math>
|align="center"|2000 — 280 
2001 — 283 
2002 — 286 
2003 — 289 
2004 — 292 
2005 — 295 
2006 — 298 
2007 — 301 
2008 — 304 
2009 — 307 
2010 — 310 
2011 — 313 
2012 — 316 
2013 — 319 
2014 — 322 
2015 — 325 
2016 — 328 
2017 — 331 
2018 — 334 
2019 — 337 
2020 — 340 
2021 — 343 
2022 — 346 
2023 — 349 
2024 — 352 
2025 — 355 
2026 — 358 
2027 — 361 
2028 — 364 
2029 — 367 
2030 — 370 
2031 — 373 
2032 — 376 
2033 — 379 
2034 — 382 
2035 — 385 
|align="center"|
|align="left"|Grows by 3 million each year. As of 2024 the actual number is ~10 million smaller.
|-
|align="center"|Electron rest energy (joules)
|align="center"|<math>\frac {e} {7^{16}}</math>
|align="center"|8.17948276564429 × 10−14
|align="center"|8.18710438 × 10−14
|align="left"|
|-
|align="center"|Light year (miles)
|align="center"|242.42
|align="center"|5,884,267,614,436.97
|align="center"|5,878,625,373,183.61 = 9,460,730,472,580,800 (meters in a light-year, by definition) / 1609.344 (meters in a mile)
|align="left"|{{w|42 (number)|42}} is, according to {{w|Douglas Adams}}' ''{{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}'', the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
|-
|align="center"|<math>\sin\left(60^\circ\right) = \frac {\sqrt 3} {2}</math>
|align="center"|<math>\frac{e}{\pi}</math>
|align="center"|0.8652559794
|align="center"|0.8660254038
|align="left"|
|-
|align="center"|<math>\sqrt 3</math>
|align="center"|<math>\frac{2e}{\pi}</math>
|align="center"|1.7305119589
|align="center"|1.7320508076
|align="left"|Same as the above
|-
|align="center"|γ (Euler's gamma constant)
|align="center"|<math>\frac {1} {\sqrt 3}</math>
|align="center"|0.5773502692
|align="center"|0.5772156649
|align="left"|The {{w|Euler–Mascheroni constant}} (denoted γ) is a mysterious number describing the relationship between the {{w|Harmonic series (mathematics)|harmonic series}} and the {{w|natural logarithm}}.
|-
|align="center"|Feet in a meter
|align="center"|<math>\frac {5} {\sqrt[e]\pi}</math>
|align="center"|3.2815481951
|align="center"|3.280839895
|align="left"|Exactly 1/0.3048, as the {{w|international foot}} is defined as 0.3048 meters.
|-
|align="center"|<math>\sqrt 5</math>
|align="center"|<math>\frac{2}{e} + \frac32</math>
|align="center"|2.2357588823
|align="center"|2.2360679775
|align="left"|
|-
|align="center"|Avogadro's number
|align="center"|<math>69^{\pi^\sqrt{5}}</math>
|align="center"|6.02191201246329 × 1023
|align="center"|6.02214129 × 1023
|align="left"|Also called a mole for shorthand, {{w|Avogadro's number}} is (roughly) the number of individual atoms in 12 grams of pure carbon. Used in basically every application of chemistry. In 2019 the constant was redefined to 6.02214076 × 1023, making the Approximation slightly more correct.
|-
|align="center"|Gravitational constant ''G''
|align="center"|<math>\frac {1} {e ^ {(\pi-1)^{(\pi+1)}}}</math>
|align="center"|6.6736110685 × 10−11
|align="center"|6.67385 × 10−11
|align="left"|The universal {{w|gravitational constant}} G is equal to ''Fr''2/''Mm'', where ''F'' is the gravitational force between two objects, ''r'' is the distance between them, and ''M'' and ''m'' are their masses.
|-
|align="center"|''R'' (gas constant)
|align="center"|<math>(e + 1) \sqrt 5</math>
|align="center"|8.3143309279
|align="center"|8.3144622
|align="left"|The {{w|gas constant}} relates energy to temperature in physics, as well as a gas's volume, pressure, temperature and {{w|mole (unit)|molar amount}} (hence the name).
|-
|align="center"|Proton–electron mass ratio
|align="center"|<math>6 \pi^5</math>
|align="center"|1836.1181087117
|align="center"|1836.15267246
|align="left"| The {{w|proton-to-electron mass ratio}} is the ratio between the rest mass of the proton divided by the rest mass of the electron.
|-
|align="center"|Liters in a {{w|gallon}}
|align="center"|<math>3 + \frac{\pi}{4}</math>
|align="center"|3.7853981634
|align="center"|3.785411784 (exact)
|align="left"|A U.S. liquid gallon is defined by law as 231 cubic inches. The British imperial gallon would be about 20% larger (but the litre is the same thing as the US liter).
|-
|align="center"|''g''0 or ''g''n
|align="center"|6 + ln(45)
|align="center"|9.8066624898
|align="center"|9.80665
|align="left"|Standard gravity, or standard acceleration due to free fall is the nominal gravitational acceleration of an object in a vacuum near the surface of the Earth. It is defined by standard as 9.80665 m/s2, which is exactly 35.30394 km/h/s (about 32.174 ft/s2, or 21.937 mph/s). This value was established by the 3rd CGPM (1901, CR 70) and used to define the standard weight of an object as the product of its mass and this nominal acceleration. The acceleration of a body near the surface of the Earth is due to the combined effects of gravity and centrifugal acceleration from rotation of the Earth (but which is small enough to be neglected for most purposes); the total (the apparent gravity) is about 0.5 percent greater at the poles than at the equator.

Randall used a letter ''g'' without a suffix, which can also mean the local acceleration due to local gravity and centrifugal acceleration, which varies depending on one's position on Earth.
|-
|align="center"|Proton–electron mass ratio
|align="center"|<math>\frac {e^8 - 10} {\phi}</math>
|align="center"|1836.1530151398
|align="center"|1836.15267246
|align="left"|φ is the {{w|golden ratio}}, or <math>\textstyle{ \frac{1+\sqrt 5}{2} }</math>. It has many interesting geometrical properties.
|-
|align="center"|Ruby laser wavelength (meters)
|align="center"|<math>\frac{1}{1200^2}</math>
|align="center"|6.9444 × 10−7
|align="center"|~6.943 × 10−7
|align="left"|The {{w|ruby laser}} wavelength varies because "ruby" is not clearly defined.
|-
|align="center"|Mean Earth radius (meters)
|align="center"|<math>5^8 6e</math>
|align="center"|6,370,973.035
|align="center"|6,371,008.7 (IUGG definition)
|align="left"|The {{w|Earth radius#mean radii|mean earth radius}} varies because there is not one single way to make a sphere out of the earth. Randall's value lies within the actual variation of Earth's radius. The International Union of Geodesy and Geophysics (IUGG) defines the mean radius as 2/3 of the equatorial radius (6,378,137.0 m) plus 1/3 of the polar radius (6,356,752.3 m).
|-
|align="center"|<math>\sqrt 2</math>
|align="center"|<math>\frac35 + \frac{\pi}{7-\pi}</math>
|align="center"|1.4142200581
|align="center"|1.4142135624
|align="left"|There are recurring math jokes along the lines of, "<math>\textstyle{ \frac35 + \frac{\pi}{7-\pi} - \sqrt{2} = 0}</math>, but your calculator is probably not good enough to compute this correctly". See also [[217: e to the pi Minus pi]].
|-
|align="center"|<math>\cos \frac{\pi}{7} + \cos \frac{3\pi}{7} + \cos \frac{5\pi}{7}</math>
|align="center"|<math>\frac12</math>
|align="center"|0.5
|align="center"|0.5 (exact)
|align="left"|This is the exactly correct equation referred to in the note, "Pro tip – Not all of these are wrong", as shown below and also [http://math.stackexchange.com/questions/140388/how-can-one-prove-cos-pi-7-cos3-pi-7-cos5-pi-7-1-2 here]. If you're still confused, the functions use {{w|radians}}, not {{w|degrees (angle)|degrees}}: when an angular measure does not specify units, radians are the assumed default.
|-
|align="center"|γ (Euler's gamma constant)
|align="center"|<math>\frac{e}{3^4} + \frac{e}{5}</math>
|align="center"|0.5772154006
|align="center"|0.5772156649
|align="left"|The {{w|Euler–Mascheroni constant}} (denoted γ) is a mysterious number describing the relationship between the {{w|Harmonic series (mathematics)|harmonic series}} and the {{w|natural logarithm}}.
|-
|align="center"|<math>\sqrt 5</math>
|align="center"|<math>\frac {13+4\pi} {24-4\pi}</math>
|align="center"|2.2360678094
|align="center"|2.2360679775
|align="left"|
|-
|align="center"|<math>\sum_{n=1}^{\infty} \frac{1}{n^n}</math>
|align="center"|<math>\ln(3)^e</math>
|align="center"|1.2912987577
|align="center"|1.2912859971
|align="left"|
|}

===Proof===

One of the "approximations" actually is precisely correct: <math>\textstyle{ \cos \frac{\pi}{7} + \cos \frac{3\pi}{7} + \cos \frac{5\pi}{7} = \frac12 }</math>. Here is a proof:

:<math>\cos \frac{\pi}{7} + \cos \frac{3\pi}{7} + \cos \frac{5\pi}{7}</math>

Multiplying by 1 (or by a nonzero number divided by itself) leaves the equation unchanged:

:<math>= \left( \cos \frac{\pi}{7} + \cos \frac{3\pi}{7} + \cos \frac{5\pi}{7} \right) \frac{2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7}}{2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7}}</math>

The <math>\textstyle{ 2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7} }</math> on the top of the fraction is multiplied through the original equation:

:<math>= \frac {2 \cos \frac{\pi}{7} \sin\frac{\pi}{7} + 2 \cos \frac{3\pi}{7} \sin\frac{\pi}{7} + 2 \cos \frac{5\pi}{7} \sin\frac{\pi}{7}} {2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7}}</math>

Use the trigonometric identity <math>\textstyle{ 2 \cos A \sin B = \sin (A+B) - \sin(A-B)}</math> on the second and third terms in the numerator:

:<math>\begin{align}
&= \frac {2 \cos \frac{\pi}{7} \sin \frac{\pi}{7} + \left[\sin \left(\frac{3\pi}{7} + \frac{\pi}{7}\right) - \sin \left(\frac{3\pi}{7} - \frac{\pi}{7}\right) \right] + \left[\sin \left(\frac{5\pi}{7} + \frac{\pi}{7}\right) - \sin \left(\frac{5\pi}{7} - \frac{\pi}{7}\right) \right]} {2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7}} \\
&= \frac {2 \cos \frac{\pi}{7} \sin \frac{\pi}{7} + \left[\sin \frac{4\pi}{7} - \sin \frac{2\pi}{7} \right] + \left[\sin \frac{6\pi}{7} - \sin \frac{4\pi}{7} \right]} {2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7}}
\end{align}</math>

Use the trigonometric identity <math>\textstyle{ 2 \cos A \sin A = \sin 2A }</math> on the first term in the numerator:

:<math>\begin{align}
&= \frac {\sin \frac{2\pi}{7} + \left[\sin \frac{4\pi}{7} - \sin \frac{2\pi}{7} \right] + \left[\sin \frac{6\pi}{7} - \sin \frac{4\pi}{7} \right]} {2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7}} \\
&= \frac {\sin \frac{6\pi}{7} + \left[\sin \frac{4\pi}{7} - \sin \frac{4\pi}{7} \right] + \left[\sin \frac{2\pi}{7} - \sin \frac{2\pi}{7} \right]} {2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7}} \\
&= \frac {\sin \frac{6\pi}{7} } {2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7}}
\end{align}</math>

Noting that <math>\textstyle{\frac{6\pi}{7} + \frac{\pi}{7} = \pi}</math> and that the sines of supplementary angles (angles that sum to π) are equal:

:<math>\begin{align}
&= \frac {\sin \frac{\pi}{7} } {2 \sin\frac{\pi}{7}} \\
&= \frac12 \quad \quad \quad \text{Q.E.D.}
\end{align}</math>

To better see why the equation is true, it is better to go to the complex plane. cos(2k pi/7)  is the real part of the k-th 7-th {{w|root of unity}}, exp(2 k i pi/7). The seven 7-th roots of unity (for 0 <= k <= 6) sum up to zero, hence so do their real parts:


:0 = cos(0 pi/7) + cos(2 pi/7) + cos(4 pi/7) + cos(6 pi/7) + cos(8 pi/7) + cos(10 pi/7) + cos(12 pi/7)

But one of these roots is just 1, and all other root go by pairs of conjugate roots, which have the same real part (alternatively, consider that cos(x) = cos(2 pi - x)):


:0 = 1 + 2 (cos(2 pi/7) + cos(4 pi/7) + cos(6 pi/7))

Hence


:cos(2 pi/7) + cos(4 pi/7) + cos(6 pi/7) = - 1/2

which, because cos(x) = -cos(pi - x), can be rewritten as


:cos(5 pi/7) + cos(3 pi/7) + cos(pi/7) = 1/2

Q.E.D.

==Transcript==
:'''A table of slightly wrong equations and identities useful for approximations and/or trolling teachers.'''
:(Found using a mix of trial-and-error, ''Mathematica'', and Robert Munafo's ''Ries'' tool.)
: All units are SI MKS unless otherwise noted.

:{| class="wikitable"
|-
|colspan="2" align="center" | Relation:
|align="center" | Accurate to within:
|-
|align="center" | One light-year(m)
|align="center" | 998
|align="center" | one part in 40
|-
|align="center" | Earth Surface(m2)
|align="center" | 698
|align="center" | one part in 130
|-
|align="center" | Oceans' volume(m3)
|align="center" | 919
|align="center" | one part in 70
|-
|align="center" | Seconds in a year
|align="center" | 754
|align="center" | one part in 400
|-
|align="center" | Seconds in a year (''Rent'' method)
|align="center" | 525,600 x 60
|align="center" | one part in 1400
|-
|align="center" | Age of the universe (seconds)
|align="center" | 1515
|align="center" | one part in 70
|-
|align="center" | Planck's constant
|align="center" | 1/(30πe)
|align="center" | one part in 110
|-
|align="center" | Fine structure constant
|align="center" | 1/140
|align="center" | [I've had enough of this 137 crap]
|-
|align="center" | Fundamental charge
|align="center" | 3/(14 * πππ)
|align="center" | one part in 500
|-
|align="center"|White House Switchboard
|colspan="2" align="center"|1 / (eπ√(1 + (e-1)√8))
|-
|align="center"|Jenny's Constant
|colspan="2" align="center"|(7(e/1 - 1/e) - 9) * π2
|-
|colspan="3" align="center"|Intermission: World Population Estimate which should stay current for a decade or two: 
Take the last two digits of the current year

Example: 20[14]

Subtract the number of leap years since hurricane Katrina

Example: 14 (minus 2008 and 2012) is 12

Add a decimal point

Example: 1.2

Add 6

Example: 6 + 1.2

7.2 = World population in billions.

Version for US population:

Example: 20[14]

Subtract 10

Example: 4

Multiply by 3

Example: 12

Add 10

Example: 3[22] million
|-
|align="center"|Electron rest energy
|align="center"|e/716 J
|align="center"|one part in 1000
|-
|align="center"|Light-year(miles)
|align="center"|2(42.42)
|align="center"|one part in 1000
|-
|colspan="2" align="center"|sin(60°) = √3/2 = e/π
|align="center"|one part in 1000
|-
|colspan="2" align="center"|√3 = 2e/π
|align="center"|one part in 1000
|-
|align="center"|γ(Euler's gamma constant)
|align="center"|1/√3
|align="center"|one part in 4000
|-
|align="center"|Feet in a meter
|align="center"|5/(e√π)
|align="center"|one part in 4000
|-
|colspan="2" align="center"|√5 = 2/e + 3/2
|align="center"|one part in 7000
|-
|align="center"|Avogadro's number
|align="center"|69π√5
|align="center"|one part in 25,000
|-
|align="center"|Gravitational constant G
|align="center"|1 / e(π - 1)(π + 1)
|align="center"|one part in 25,000
|-
|align="center"|R (gas constant)
|align="center"|(e+1) √5
|align="center"|one part in 50,000
|-
|align="center"|Proton-electron mass ratio
|align="center"|6*π5
|align="center"|one part in 50,000
|-
|align="center"|Liters in a gallon
|align="center"|3 + π/4
|align="center"|one part in 500,000
|-
|align="center"|g
|align="center"|6 + ln(45)
|align="center"|one part in 750,000
|-
|align="center"|Proton-electron mass ratio
|align="center"|(e8 - 10) / ϕ
|align="center"|one part in 5,000,000
|-
|align="center"|Ruby laser wavelength
|align="center"|1 / (12002)
|align="center"|[within actual variation]
|-
|align="center"|Mean Earth Radius
|align="center"|(58)*6e
|align="center"|[within actual variation]
|-
|colspan="3" align="center"|Protip - not all of these are wrong:
|-
|colspan="2" align="center"|√2 = 3/5 + π/(7-π)
|align="center"|cos(π/7) + cos(3π/7) + cos(5π/7) = 1/2
|-
|align="center"|γ(Euler's gamma constant) = e/34 + e/5
|align="center"|√5 = (13 + 4π) / (24 - 4π)
|align="center"|Σ 1/nn = ln(3)e
|}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Protip]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

1052: Every Major's Terrible

2026-03-31T17:02:05Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 1052
| date = May 7, 2012
| title = Every Major's Terrible
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = every_majors_terrible.png
| titletext = Someday I'll be the first to get a Ph. D in 'Undeclared'.
}}
Clicking on the image on [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com] links to a now-unavailable [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhaEjgnmy3c YouTube video of the original song]. [https://web.archive.org/web/20150401183305/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhaEjgnmy3c Here is an Archive.org link to the video.]

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] has written a song called ''Every Major's Terrible'' and this comic illustrates the song. In this song the term {{w|Major (academic)|Major}} refers to the US version of an academic major. The point of the song is that it makes no sense to pick any major since they are all terrible!

The header notes that the song is written to the tune of the satirical {{w|Major-General's Song}} from {{w|Gilbert and Sullivan's}} 1879 comic opera ''{{w|The Pirates of Penzance}}''. The song satirizes the idea of the "modern" educated British Army officer of the latter 19th century. {{w|Major general}} is a military rank in the United Kingdom and many other countries. The meter in the Major-General's Song is {{w|iambic octameter}}, which means that in each line there are eight iambs, where an iamb is two syllables in an unstressed-stressed pattern. Therefore, each line contains 16 syllables.

The panels show Randall's rewritten lyrics to the song. Below each of the three verses are described in detail (go to [[#Verse 1|Verse 1]], [[#Verse 2|Verse 2]] or [[#Verse 3|Verse 3]]). Each verse ends with "Just put me down as 'Undecided' - Every Major's Terrible", which gives the song its name — and "Major's Terrible" is similar enough to "Major General", the corresponding lyrics in the original version, to serve as a callback. The last line of the first verse in each song goes as follows:
*Original: I am the very model of a modern Major-General
*Randall's: Just put me down as undecided- every major's terrible

The lyrics are commonly rewritten, the most famous rewrite likely being {{w|The Elements (song)}} by {{w|Tom Lehrer}} which is also mentioned below the main header. This song is also [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3NOQnsQM available on-line].

His last suggestion, "{{w|Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious}}", from ''{{w|Mary Poppins}}'', is another fast-paced patter-song with a somewhat similar tune, though it doesn't fit quite so well, and the match falls apart at the end of the fourth line, when the "Um-diddly"s start up — still, it's better than nothing.

There are at least two performances of this xkcd song online where the transcription is shown to make it easier to understand the text:
*A video with each major acted out by the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seGpYa8UO0E SFU Choir - Every Major's Terrible].
*A solo with piano: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRexBMPeRTo Every Major's Terrible' by Ben Miller].
**See also this article [http://www.uproxx.com/gammasquad/2012/08/ben-miller-xkcd-every-majors-terrible/ Xkcd's 'Every Major's Terrible' Is Now A Real Song].

Regarding the title text: "Undeclared" is sometimes called "General Studies". Most U.S. universities will not let you get a degree in this, let alone an advanced degree such as a {{w|Ph.D.}} Also, it should probably be noted that this song refers to U.S.-like university systems, in other countries, one will study little to nothing outside your major, making it more-or-less impossible to be undecided as to major.

It should also be noted that the title text fits the cadence of the first line of the song, possibly teasing a fourth verse. As to what that consists of, only Randall knows.

===Verse 1===
;Panel 1, ''Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality'': [[Cueball]] is posing as {{w|Rodin}}'s {{w|The Thinker}}, a common symbol for {{w|philosophy}}. The equation in the background (two plus light bulb equals sailboat) is nonsense, hence "{{w|math}} sans rigor, sense or practicality" ([http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sans sans] meaning without).

;Panel 2, ''And math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.'': A cannon is firing. However, instead of going in the normal parabolic arc (a precept of reality and thus {{w|physics}}), the cannonball splits and splits again, so that it looks like a {{w|bifurcation diagram}} from {{w|chaos theory}}. The dashed line indicates the cannonball's trajectory, which bifurcates twice, although the sum of the momentums of the four resulting (1/4 sized?) cannonballs is presumably mathematically identical to the original.

;Panel 3, ''A business major's just a thing you get so you can graduate'': {{w|Business education|Business}} is the most common major, often seen as a practical choice applicable to a wide variety of careers, or, as the comic illustrates, preferred by those who just want an easy way to graduate. Cueball gets his diploma and runs away from the dean on the podium while shedding both his robe and his {{w|square academic cap}} (or Mortarboard).

;Panel 4, ''And chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.'': Stamp collecting refers to the [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford famous quote] by {{w|Ernest Rutherford}}, "All science is either physics or stamp collecting." {{w|Methyl acetate}} is a solvent that for instance can be used to remove stamps from their envelope (although water will do the same). The stamps in the background form the {{W|periodic table}} of the chemical elements. And since {{w|chemistry}} is not physics, according to the quote, {{w|chemists}} must be stamp collectors. [[Ponytail]] is depicted wearing googles, holding an {{w|Erlenmeyer flask}}, and dizzy from being high on methylacetate.

;Panels 5 and 6, ''Why anyone who wants a job would study lit's a mystery'', ''Unless their only other choice were something like art history.'': These lines, both sung by Cueball, refer to subjects where a majority of graduates will end up unemployed or eventually working in a field outside their majors. Topics such as {{w|Literature}} or {{w|Art History}} are often and historically said to be in this category — although from [http://www.studentsreview.com/unemployment_by_major.php3?sort=Rate actual statistics], it is clear that there are far worse majors these days.

;Panels 7 and 8, ''A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve'', ''A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave'': Here Cueball first has a major in {{w|Communication studies|Communications}} and next he is seen underwater with a basket. {{w|Underwater basket weaving}} is a commonly used metaphor for any college major that is easy and/or worthless. "Communications" is a major chosen by people interested in news broadcasting or other media. Note that, if following the original music exactly, the line "A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave." will be repeated three times by the chorus after these panels.

;Panel 9, ''I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in biology,'': We see Cueball holding a frog out in front of him while taking his hand to his head (in disgust?). A {{w|Fowler's toad}} is a relatively common toad in the eastern US, and a stereotype of studying {{w|biology}} is a frog {{w|dissection}}, which is likely part of the reference, albeit oblique. Fowler's Toad emits a {{w|Bufo_fowleri#Behavior|noxious secretion}} that [http://www.nwf.org/wildlife/wildlife-library/amphibians-reptiles-and-fish/toads.aspx irritates skin] and thus probably also the mucous membranes in the mouth. It would thus be rather painful to eat, making it very bad for Cueball to major in biology since he would rather eat such a toad.

;Panel 10, ''And social psych is worse than either psych ''or'' sociology.'': {{w|Social psychology}} is compared to {{w|sociology}} (study of humans in society) and {{w|psychology}} (study of human minds). Psychology is represented by a {{w|serial killer}} with a chainsaw, and sociology is represented by a {{w|zombie}}. These are to the left of [[Megan]]. To her right is a zombie serial killer with chainsaw. She is standing between them undecided as to take one, the other or both. They are all terrible options...

;Panels 11 and 12, ''The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable,'' ''Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.'': End of the first verse where Cueball tells his academic advisor that he is undecided as every major's terrible. He even throws away his {{w|study guide}}. Every verse ends with some variation of this couplet, and in the original tune, each of these couplets are repeated by the chorus afterwards.
:''Unbearable'' and ''terrible'' rhyme for people who have the {{w|English-language vowel changes before historic /r/#Mary–marry–merry merger|Mary-merry merger}}.

===Verse 2===
;Panel 13, ''Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in seismology,'':[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prognosticate Prognosticate] means "to predict". This refers to the inability of {{w|seismology}} to reliably predict catastrophic {{w|earthquake}}s, even after centuries of extensive research. The panel shows {{w|Seismic wave|seismic waves}} from a {{w|seismograph}}. The seismograph chart has four traces and about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously indicating an earthquake. Five months after this comic was published several seismologists in Italy were [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-court-finds-seismologists-guilty-of-manslaughter-1.11640 convicted of crimes] that effectively stemmed from an inability to predict an earthquake. This does not go down well for the message of this panel... Their conviction was [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-seismologists-cleared-of-manslaughter-1.16313 overturned on appeal] in 2014.

;Panel 14, ''But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to theology.'': The bearded [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/theologist theologist] represents {{w|Theology}} by stating the formal logic proposition shown in the illustration: "X ∴ ∃X". This says "I can describe this thing called X, therefore X exists". (However, it might not be syntactically correct, since "X" is not a formula, and there are no free variable(s) after the ∃.) This is what Anselm’s {{w|ontological argument}} for God boils down to. Briefly, it asks you to imagine the best possible entity, which, by definition, would be God. A God which exists in both reality and imagination would (according to Anselm) be greater than one who exists in merely the latter. Therefore, this proposition concludes that God exists. The argument has many fatal flaws, and has been largely rejected even by theists. (See [[1505: Ontological Argument]].) The same can be said for any of the so-called proofs of God that have been developed over the past several thousand years, making Theology decidedly non-rigorous.

;Panel 15, ''CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.'': "CS" is short for "{{w|Computer Science}}." Most programming languages use parentheses as part of their syntax, and often have multiply-nested parenthetical expressions. This is especially true of {{w|Lisp (programming language)|Lisp}}. It is often difficult for a programmer to determine where the unbalanced parenthesis begins or ends when the code and parentheses are not properly formatted and indented. In the panel there is one more left "(" parenthesis (13) than right ")" or ''close-paren'' (12). Unpaired parentheses were also discussed in comic [[859]].

;Panel 16, ''Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.'': {{w|Virology}} is the study of {{w|infectious diseases}}. The green symbol above the central figure is the {{w|Hazard_symbol#Biohazard_sign|biohazard symbol}}, implying that people who study infectious diseases, and are therefore located near them at some points in time, will be shunned like the plague, because they're probably carrying it. Thus no hugs to Megan as three Cueballs and Ponytail lean back away from her.

;Panel 17, ''I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.'': "I.T." is short for "{{w|Information Technology}}", a degree for people who maintain computer systems. If there is a need for an I.T. position (in which I.T. professionals are employed) there are computers which need fixing — hence the I.T. Professional is always fixing (or fighting) computers, which may or may not have been[https://web.archive.org/web/20220225163355/https://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980506 "broken"] by [[:Category:Cueball's computer problems|certain users]]. In the panel Megan, wielding an axe, is in a real fight with a PC.

;Panel 18, ''As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."'': This is a slightly amended quote from {{w|Discworld}} author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}, from his book "{{w|Feet of Clay (novel)|Feet of Clay}}". The actual quote is "{{w|Geography}} is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it." But the meaning is the same, that physics also describes geography - a similar quote to the one about physics vs. stamp collections mentioned under panel 4.

;Panel 19, ''Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,'': {{w|Richard Feynman}} was a 20th-century {{w|Nobel Prize|Nobel}}-laureate {{w|physicist}} known for his great sense of humor, including being photographed for one of his books while holding a {{w|bongo drum}}. Here he is depicted with the drum and with both a blond woman and Megan looking admiringly upon him. Feynman made physics seem cool, and many a young fan might choose the subject in the hope of obtaining a Feynman-like career. This is, however, very unlikely for most people as is also shown in the next panel.

;Panel 20, ''The wiki page for "Physics major" redirects to "Engineer."'': A redirect on Wikipedia is a page which immediately sends the visitor to a different page. This implies that the title of the first is either a synonym or a sub-topic of the second. Physics majors usually learn to code, and the standard joke is that they invariably get hired as {{w|computer programmers}} after graduation, but here in this comic they get hired as {{w|engineers}}. This relates back to the previous panel, as it is here shown that most of those that major in physics end up as engineers and not like Feynman. The Wikipedia page physics major didn't actually exist when this comic was published. It was created the same day, but as a [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Physics_major&redirect=no redirect] to {{w|physics education}}. It is such a redirect page that is shown in the panel. In the subsequent days, there were dozens of instances of people changing it to redirect to engineer, usually reverted within minutes. The redirect page was ''fully protected'' and locked for editing. As with the underwater basket-weaving line in the first verse, after the soloist sings this, the line would be repeated three times by the chorus.

;Panels 21 and 22, ''They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,'' ''But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.'': This uses a version of a quote by {{w|George Santayana}} (although often attributed to others as well), ''Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it'' as a reason to study {{w|history}} — only to be followed by an indication that by studying history as a major, you will only be prepared to become a history teacher, and you will then spend the rest of your life teaching history. The first panel shows a flow chart that will lead you to repeat your sad past if you cannot remember it, and only move on to happier times if you can. In the next panel we see a [[Hairbun]] as a history teacher, with glasses and her gray hair tied up in a bun, standing in front of a green {{w|blackboard}} with three important years for her current history class.

:One connection between these years could be pivotal points in Jewish history concerning the formation of nationality: the Nurenberg Laws of 1935 removing citizenship from Jews in Germany, Israel's claims on Jerusalem, and the UN Security Council's condemnation of the treatment of Palestines by Israel.

:A more lighthearted connection, more in line with the message of learning from history, is the collapse of three notable communications towers: the wooden radio tower in Langenberg in 1935 (by tornado), a TV mast at Emley Moor in 1969 (due to ice build-up), and the Warsaw radio mast in 1991 (due to construction errors). This demonstrates various attempts and failures to learn from engineering mistakes from the past, connecting this with the earlier mentioning of physicists becoming engineers, and perhaps not taking real-world practical considerations into account (such as storms or ice build-up).

:Of course, in practice, with a narrow enough subject, there are likely to be many more examples fitting these three years. The two examples above were from general world history.

;Panels 23 and 24, ''I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,'' ''But put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.'': End of the second verse where Cueball again talks to his academic advisor saying that he is undecided. In the last of the two panel he says almost the same as at the end of the first verse. In the first, however, he mentioned his "four-year plan" which is the list of all the courses a student plans to include in their degree program. If you change majors every semester, or do not decide on one until too late, this list gets really difficult to turn into any one degree. Again these lines would be repeated by the chorus afterwards.

===Verse 3===
;Panel 25, ''Astronomers all cringe when they hear "supermoon" or "zodiac".'': {{w|Supermoon}} is a term invented by {{w|astrologers}} in the 1970s, with no significance in {{w|astronomy}} other than being the co-occurrence of orbital {{w|perigee}} and full-moon. But it comes up often in the press, linked to supernatural behavior. That also Randall dislikes seems realistic and he also "mocked" the term soon after in [[1080: Visual Field]] and then finally confirmed what he thought about the term directly when he published [[1394: Superm*n]]. This was the first comic referencing supermoon, here is [[:Category:Supermoon|a list]] of all such comics. The {{w|zodiac}} is the circular band in the sky containing the apparent path of the sun, moon and planets. Most often when people talk about it, they're referring to {{w|astrology}} and {{w|horoscopes}} and other pseudo-scientific notions which often lead to conversations which are frustrating to astronomers, like the bald, bearded one ({{w|Phil Plait}}?) from the panel.

;Panel 26, ''Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.'': {{w|Agronomy}} is the science of farming, while {{w|agoraphobia}} is the fear of wide open spaces. Fields, where most farming happens, are wide open spaces. In the panel an anxious Cueball is standing near a fence on an open field with a tractor. Presumably he may be OK inside the tractor, but once he gets outside he becomes anxious.

;Panel 27, ''I'm too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,'': {{w|Herpetology}} is the study of {{w|reptiles}} and {{w|amphibians}}, while {{w|ophiophobia}} is the fear of {{w|snakes}} (a reptile). The panel shows sweating Cueball holding his hands to his mouth while looking at a green snake asking for his love? It is possible that Cueball is afraid of the snake, who is harmless and just wants to be friends.

;Panel 28, ''And I can't stomach any part of gastroenterology.'': As the pun suggests, {{w|gastroenterology}} is the study of the human digestive system and the image shows the human {{w|stomach}}. To [http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/cannot+stomach not be able to stomach something] means you can't stand or tolerate this thing.

;Panel 29, ''While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,'': {{w|Pre-med}} (pre-medical) is a major chosen by students hoping to go on to {{w|medical school}} to study {{w|medicine}} and eventually become {{w|Doctor of Medicine|doctors}}. Medical school is extremely competitive and usually requires a very high undergraduate {{w|GPA}} for prospective students. Hence we see a pre-med student holding all his grades.

;Panel 30, <tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>: The text is in all lower-case, a different font and strangely laid out compared to the text in all the other panels. All-lower-case and "free" layout are both associated with 20th century "{{w|Modernist}}" {{w|poetry}}, especially the works of {{w|E. E. Cummings}}. Ponytail is actually reciting this line of the song.

;Panels 31 and 32, ''TV's behind the rush into forensic criminology'', ''(Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).'': This refers to how {{w|forensic}}-{{w|criminology}} shows, specifically {{w|CSI: Miami}} (Crime Scene Investigation: Miami) as shown on the TV screen in both panels, often dramatize, exaggerate or otherwise confuse the science behind forensics; this gives people unrealistically glamorous views of the career, thus encouraging them to join it. {{w|Epidemiology}} is the study of causes and effects of events and trends. We see a pipe smoking epidemiologist standing with Ponytail and watching CSI - presumably making wild claims on cause and effect based only on what they see on TV. This is, again, the point where the chorus joins in three times, as in the previous two verses.

;Panels 33 and 34, ''By dubbing econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate;'' ''The "dismal"'s fine - it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.'': "Econ" is short for "{{w|economics}}". {{w|Thomas Carlyle}} declared economics "{{w|the dismal science}}" in the {{w|Victorian era}} as a derogatory alternative name. {{w|Economists}} often claim that economics is a {{w|science}} like any other; however, as the predictive powers of all economic theories are exceedingly weak compared to those of any science, this is disputed by those outside the field at times. It is of course also disputed by this song, in which Cueball "clearly" (see below) states that economics should not call itself a science - that is the ''dismal science'' is not derogatory enough for him.
*The above sentences can be tricky to understand due to the combination of vocabulary used and atypical word order (the former is in object-subject-verb). Here is some help in understanding them:
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dub Dubbing] something means ''giving it a nickname''.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dismal Dismal] science means (in this context) ''the disappointingly inadequate science''.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/adherent Adherents] means ''supporters''.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/patently Patently] means ''in a clear and unambiguous manner''
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prevaricate Prevaricate] means to ''evade the truth''.
*Using these meanings of the words the two sentences can be re-written as:
**The people who give economics the nickname "the inadequate science" are exaggerating how bad it is;
**The "inadequate" part is fine - it's "science" where they clearly are evading the truth.
:That is, Cueball is saying that "inadequate science" is too nice of a term for economics, he thinks it's not even science at all.

;Panel 35, ''In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.''
;Panel 36, ''Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible!'': End of the third verse, with yet another variant on the closing couplet. Choosing a major is compared to {{w|Sophie's Choice}}, which is any {{w|dilemma}} where choosing one cherished person or thing over the other will result in the death or destruction of the other, derived from the theme of the {{w|Sophie's Choice (novel)|novel}} of the same name, which has also been turned into a {{w|Sophie's Choice (film)|romantic drama film}}. So Cueball tells the academic advisor that choosing any of the majors over any other is as horrible as to have to choose which cherished person should die to save the other. Although in his case, it is the other way around, since he thinks all choices suck. Again these lines would be repeated by the chorus.

==Transcript==

:[The entire comic is a 4 by 9 grid. Left-justified headings above the 36 panels:]
:<big><big>Every Major's Terrible</big></big>
:to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan's
:<big>Modern Major-General Song</big>
:(Which you may know from Tom Lehrer's ''Elements''.
:If not, just hum ''Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious''.)

:[To make it easier to read the lyrics, the lyrics text is double indented. If no one says the line it is just written after the description. Unless otherwise stated, the text is inside the frame of the panel above the drawing. If any other text is present it will be written after the lyrics.]

:[Panel 1: Cueball sitting with his chin on fist on a square, gray rock. Next to him is a mathematical expression "2 + a picture of yellow glowing light bulb = picture of Cueball in sailboat on a blue sea".]
::Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality
:Expression: 2+[lightbulb]=[sailboat]

:[Panel 2: A black and brown cannon standing on a green hill fires and a dashed line indicates the cannonball's trajectory. The line splits in two twice ending up at 4 cannonballs.]
::And math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.

:[Panel 3: A student in robes and square academic cap receives a diploma from a dean on a brown podium, while Cueball, diploma in hand, runs away on the green lawn, arms in the air, shedding both robe and cap.]
::A business major's just a thing you get so you can graduate

:[Panel 4: Ponytail wearing goggles and holding a flask with the periodic table in the background. Three stars and circle lines around her head indicates that she is dizzy.]
::And chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.

:[Panel 5: Cueball holds up his hands questioningly, in a shrugging pose.]
::Cueball: Why anyone who wants a job would study lit's a mystery

:[Panel 6: Cueball holding his chin.]
::Cueball: Unless their only other choice were something like art history.

:[Panel 7: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is a close-up of Cueball as a graduate wearing yellow embroidered robe and yellow tasseled mortarboard.]
::A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve

:[Panel 8: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is the same Cueball graduate, only now he is submerged in blue water. A wicker basket flows to the left, where air bubbles escape from Cueball. To the right are two black fish.]
::A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave

:[Panel 9: Cueball holding a gray frog at arm's length.]
::Cueball: I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in biology,
:Frog: Ribbit

:[Panel 10: Megan indicating to the left a scruffy individual and an individual holding a chainsaw, and to the right a single scruffy individual holding a chainsaw.]
::Megan: And social psych is worse than either psych or sociology.

:[Panel 11: Cueball stands in front of a brown desk holding a gray course catalog. Behind the desk sits a man with glasses and hair at the back of his head. He sits on his gray office chair. There is a stack of papers on the desk.]
::Cueball: The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable.

:[Panel 12: Same picture as panel 11, only now Cueball tosses the course catalog over his shoulder.]
::Cueball: Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.

:[Panel 13: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is a seismograph chart with four traces; about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously.]
::Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in seismology,

:[Panel 14: A bearded man with white hair states a formula with his left arm lifted.]
::But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to theology.
:Bearded man: X ∴ ∃X

:[Panel 15: Two lines with gray parenthesis.]
::CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.
:(((()((((()(
:))))())())())

:[Panel 16: Megan with a green biohazard symbol floating above her head stands alone; to the left and right three Cueball-like guys and Ponytail shun her.]
::Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.

:[Panel 17: Megan running at a PC on a brown table at the left of the frame, with a brown and black axe raised over her head.]
::I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.

:[Panel 18: The frame is a little smaller than the other frames. Above the frame is the first part of the text. In the frame is an image of a bearded man with glasses who says the rest of the text. ]
::As Pratchett said,
::Pratchett: "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."

:[Panel 19: A man with black hair plays on brown bongo drums while Blondie and Megan lean into the frame and look at him from left and right respectively.]
::Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,

:[Panel 20: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is screenshot of a wiki redirect page. Below the title is the normal text for such a page. This is unreadable though, although it is possible to imagine it is possible to read the first line which would say: ''From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia''. But not the other line which would be ''Redirect page''. Below this line is an arrow down to the page the redirect points to. This is written in blue underlined letters.]
::The wiki page for "Physics major" redirects to "Engineer."
:Wiki page:
::Physics major
:: Engineer

:[Panel 21: Flowchart: a gray-brown box with a sad face chains to a decision diamond reading simply "?"; the "yes" branch leads to a yellow happy-face box while the "no" branch loops back to the initial sad face.]
::They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,
:Flow chart:
::?
::No
::Yes

:[Panel 22: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is Hairbun as a teacher with boxy spectacles and a bun in front of a green chalkboard with three years in white. She is holding a rod and using it to point at the board.]
::But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.
:Chalkboard:
::1935
::1969
::1991

:[Panel 23: Cueball at his adviser's desk again as in panel 12, but now without any catalog and holding his arms down.]
::Cueball: I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,

:[Panel 24: Same as panel 23 except Cueball has raised a first and the adviser has his hand to his mouth.]
::Cueball: But put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.

:[Panel 25: Image of a bald man with beard and glasses. He raised both hands one as a fist the other pointing up. There are lines out from his head to the left and lightning lines out from his head to the right.]
::Astronomers all cringe when they hear "supermoon" or "zodiac".

:[Panel 26: Silhouette of Cueball, agitated, in an open field near a fence and a tractor.]
::Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.

:[Panel 27: Cueball looking aghast at a green snake on the ground, both hands at his mouth and sweat jumping from his head. The snake is "saying" a red heart with a black question mark next to it.]
::I'm too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,
:Snake: ♥ ?

:[Panel 28: Anatomical image of a stomach in pink and red.]
::And I can't stomach any part of gastroenterology.

:[Panel 29: A man with wild hair, glasses askew, clutching folders and papers (green, blue and white), and dropping several.]
:Man:
::While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,

:[Panel 30: Ponytail reciting poetry; her poem is this panel's line, in a lighter, lower-case font.]
::Ponytail: <tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>

:[Panel 31: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. The frame is a TV screen with the ''CSI: Miami'' logo, CSI in yellow.]
::TV's behind the rush into forensic criminology
:TV screen:
::''' CSI: '''
::'''Miami'''

:[Panel 32: A balding man wearing glasses and holding a smoking pipe together with Ponytail holding a notebook watch a wall-mounted flat-screen TV on which the ''CSI: Miami'' logo from the previous panel is showing.]
::(Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).
:TV screen:
:: CSI:
::Miami

:[Panel 33: Cueball is talking with his left arm raised, palm up.]
::Cueball: By dubbing econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate;

:[Panel 34: Close-up on Cueball with right arm up and one finger in the air.]
::Cueball: The "dismal"'s fine—it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.

:[Panel 35: As panel 23 with Cueball at his adviser's desk once more though with both hands held out in front of him. The adviser is holding his hand to the side of his head.]
::Cueball:In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.

:[Panel 36: Same as panel 35 except that Cueball makes a final dramatic flair spreading both arms out.]
::Cueball:Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible!

==Trivia==
In August of 2018, the comic was made to link to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhaEjgnmy3c a video], which no longer exists due to the owner's account being terminated by YouTube.

{{comic discussion}}

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1079: United Shapes

2026-03-31T17:01:50Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 1079
| date = July 9, 2012
| title = United Shapes
| image = united_shapes.png
| imagesize = 800px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = That eggplant is in something of a flaccid state.
}}
A larger version of this comic is available [http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ here].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|
*Need to finish explaining all the states in [[#Objects]]. Some are missing an explanation.}}
In this comic, each state of the United States of America has been filled-in with an object of similar shape. Several years later Randall made a new map of the US mainland [[1653: United States Map]], where he shuffled the positions of the states but filled out the outline. Also in this map Michigan has been split into two separate parts. (Here it is the mitten and the eagle). This comic could also be a reference to {{w|Giuseppe Arcimboldo}}'s portraits, which were composed of objects such as fruits, vegetables, flowers, books, and fish.

Very few, if any, of the shapes used are stereotypes of the state; they are merely objects that look like the state. Some of the objects are those which the states are widely known to resemble. For example, Michigan is represented by a mitten and an eagle, and a pot with handle takes the place of Oklahoma (with the panhandle region of the state filled with a literal handle). Others, however, are more creative. Few would have likely pictured Texas as a dog or Alaska as a bear with a jet pack and laser gun. There are several incredibly simple objects filling some states. Kentucky is filled by a cloud, which conceivably could have been used for any state, and Wyoming, one of the nearly rectangular states, is simply an envelope. There are three pairs of states that are related. Georgia and Missouri each contain an image of the other, drawing attention to their similar shapes, North and South Dakota are the top and bottom halves of a {{w|guitar amplifier}} {{w|speaker cabinet}}, and Alabama and Mississippi are {{w|moai}} facing in opposite directions.

Colorado contains what looks like a Wikipedia article. [http://xkcd.com/1079/colorado/ A close-up of the fake article is provided.] The following references are made in the Colorado article:

*The pronunciation is not that for Colorado, but for {{w|Eyjafjallajökull}}, a volcano in Iceland that erupted in April 2010. There is a missing [[859#Trivia|close parenthesis]].
*The way it has a demilitarized zone towards Wyoming resembles {{W|North Korea}} and {{W|South Korea}}.
*Eleven dimensions refers to {{w|string theory}}.
*A {{w|wormhole}} is a theoretical relative of the {{w|black hole}}. This is a reference to the television series {{w|Stargate SG-1}} where a device capable of creating wormholes is located in the {{w|Cheyenne Mountain nuclear bunker}} in Colorado.
*A {{w|Horcrux}} is a type of magical object in the world of {{W|Harry Potter}} that prevents the creator of it from passing on. They may die, but their soul remains to be resurrected by another wizard
*The radiation zones around Longmont are caused by {{w|Radioactive contamination from the Rocky Flats Plant|radioactive contamination from the Rocky Flats Plant}}.
*The fake motto ''Si parare possis, vivere septem'' can be roughly translated as "With preparation, survival is possible for over a week."

New Mexico, according to [https://xkcd.com/1079/info.0.json official transcript], is "A liquid container labeled for something of unusual and silly danger". The labeling is upside down and it refers to the nuclear testing facility White Sands Missile Range located in New Mexico for the nuclear bomb. The joke is that it presents the white sand itself as extremely hazardous. The phrase "contains chemicals known only to the state of Nevada" may be a reference to the nuclear weapons testing that occurred in Nevada (although in that case, it is not really the ''state'' of Nevada that knows those chemicals, but rather the {{w|Nevada Test Site}}, home of Area 51 ''et al''), and is also a reference to California's {{w|1986 California Proposition 65|Proposition 65}} warning label, "WARNING: This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm."

The title text makes fun of Florida which is sometimes called "The penis of America". Obviously, this penis is somewhat flaccid (not erect). The use of the word "state" is a pun, as it means some particular condition (flaccid state) as well as a political entity (The State of Florida).

===Objects===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!State!!Image!!Description!!Explanation
|-
! {{w|Alabama}}
|[[File:Alabama.png|200x200px]]
|A moai head facing east.
|{{w|Moai}} are Easter Island stone statues.
|-
! {{w|Alaska}}
|[[File:Alaska1079.png|200x200px]]
|A bear with a jet pack and a ray gun.
|The ray gun and {{w|jet pack}} are fixtures of science fiction during the {{w|Cold War}} era, and the {{w|Russian Bear}} is an often-used personification of the country {{w|Russia}}/{{w|USSR}} in political cartoonage; the "teddy bear" image may be related to Alaska's former Russian heritage. The USA acquired Alaska from Russia in the {{w|Alaska Purchase}} of 1867 and it became a state in 1959, during the Cold War. The Cold War often featured baseless worries of a potential Russian invasion of Alaska due to their geographical proximity across the {{w|Bering Sea}} and {{w|Bering Strait}}, which persisted through the 1980s; Alaska was the location of a large number of interceptor missiles as part of {{w|Ronald Reagan}}'s {{w|Strategic Defense Initiative|"Star Wars Defense Initiative"}} intended to shoot down missiles that might be launched from the USSR. The ray gun is pointed across the Bering Strait at Russia, consistent with Alaska's often being described as the "first line of defense" against Russian aggression. The teddy bear is similar in appearance to {{w|Winnie the Pooh}}.
|-
! {{w|Arizona}}
|[[File:Arizona.png|200x200px]]
|A refrigerated shelf containing milk, bread, and pastries.
| There is likely no relation, although it is possible that it is a reference to Arizona's [https://www.kjzz.org/kjzz-news/2025-01-01/2024-will-likely-be-confirmed-as-phoenixs-hottest-year-ever extreme heat waves], of which it is well-known for.
|-
! {{w|Arkansas}}
|[[File:Arkansas1079.png|200x200px]]
|A measuring cup.
|As the text is illegible, it is unclear if the cup is graduated for imperial units (fractions of a cup) and metric units (milliliters) or both.
|-
! {{w|California}}
|[[File:California1079.png|200x200px]]
|A vacuum cleaner.
|An old-fashioned upright vacuum cleaner (lying down on its right side), green with a yellow bag.
|-
! {{w|Colorado}}
|[[File:Colorado1079.png|200x200px]]
|The Wikipedia article on Colorado.
|See the [[#Transcript|Transcript section]] to read the text in the fake article. The pronunciation of "Colorado" given by Randall [ˈeːijaˌfjatlaˌjœːkʏtl̥] is the phonetic writing of {{w|Eyjafjallaj%C3%B6kull|Eyjafjallajökull}}, and Icelandic volcano that {{w|Air_travel_disruption_after_the_2010_Eyjafjallaj%C3%B6kull_eruption|caused disruptions to air travel in Western Europe}} between March and June of 2010. An analogy pronunciation guide, it would be something as "a [as in the letter]-ya-fiat-la-JOE-cutl. The Demilitarized Zone is the official name of the border between North Korea and South Korea. It is impossible for the state to have always existed, as that would require the existence of the United States, which was only founded in 1776. The Motto may be a reference to the very harsh conditions located on especially tall mountains, as the Rocky Mountains run directly through the state. Alternatively, danger may have been introduced via the 'erratic' wildlife and the presence of a wormhole within the state, which would make Colorado nearly uninhabitable.
|-
! {{w|Connecticut}}
|[[File:Connecticut1079.png|200x200px]]
|A train conductor's hat.
| Connecticut is known for its [https://portal.ct.gov/dot/travel-gateway/public-transportation/ctrail?language=en_US extensive rail system] and its many residents who build {{w|Rail transport modelling|Model train systems}}.
|-
! {{w|Delaware}}
|[[File:Delaware1079.png|200x200px]]
|A {{w|meerkat}}.
|There is no obvious relationship between Delaware and meerkats. Meerkats have appeared in xkcd before, notably in [[115: Meerkat]].
|-
! {{w|Florida}}
|[[File:Florida1079.png|200x200px]]
|An {{w|eggplant}}.
|The title text mentions the eggplant being in a flaccid state, which might be a reference to the sexual use of the eggplant emoji. The eggplant may reference the {{w|Florida Man}} meme, which commonly involves undressed males doing unusual things.
|-
! {{w|Georgia}}
|[[File:Georgia1079.png|200x200px]]
|{{w|Missouri}}.
|The outline of the state of Missouri, with the {{w|Gateway Arch}} in {{w|St. Louis}}. This is paired with Missouri, which contains an outline of the state of Georgia.
|-
! {{w|Hawaii}}
|[[File:Hawaii1079.png|200x200px]]
|The island of Hawaii is a snowball. The smaller islands are small bits of snow.
|This may be an ironic reference to the fact that Hawaii is located near the equator and generally receives temperatures far too high to create snow.
|-
! {{w|Idaho}}
|[[File:Idaho1079.png|200x200px]]
|A garden gnome, sitting down.
|While there is no obvious relation between Idaho and garden gnomes, it is possible that the gnome is a reference to the Gnome Mine, a mine in Idaho that produced a lot of gold in the 1900s.
|-
! {{w|Illinois}}
|[[File:Illinois1079.png|200x200px]]
|A gangster with a guitar case, upside down.
|In fiction it is common to depict {{w|Prohibition}}-era gangsters and mobsters smuggling a {{w|Thompson submachine gun}} (also called a "Tommy gun" or "Chicago typewriter") in musical instrument cases.
|-
! {{w|Indiana}}
|[[File:Indiana1079.png|200x200px]]
|The brush of a paintbrush.
|While there is no obvious relation between Indiana and paintbrushes, it may be referring to Indian Paintbrushes.
|-
! {{w|Iowa}}
|[[File:Iowa1079.png|200x200px]]
|A tomato, lettuce, cold cut and cheese sandwich.
|This may be a reference to their famous Pork Tenderloin Sandwich, which is the official state sandwich.
|-
! {{w|Kansas}}
|[[File:Kansas1079.png|200x200px]]
|A {{w|spinet}} piano.
|This may have been referencing J.W. Jenkins Music Company, which selled spinet pianos from the Elburn Piano Company.
|-
! {{w|Kentucky}}
|[[File:Kentucky1079.png|200x200px]]
|A cloud.
|While there are no direct relations between Kentucky and clouds, it's location and weather conditions can produce a plethora of interesting cloud formations.
|-
! {{w|Louisiana}}
|[[File:Louisiana1079.png|200x200px]]
|A boot with some gum stuck to the bottom of it.
|In grade schools, Louisiana is often remembered via its shape, being very similar to a boot.
|-
! {{w|Maine}}
|[[File:Maine1079.png|200x200px]]
|A {{w|Vulcan salute}}.
|Maine's camp sunshine has had {{w|Star Trek}} related events in the past, including the opportunity to appear in a film.
|-
! {{w|Maryland}}
|[[File:Maryland1079.png|200x200px]]
|A wolf howling to the moon, upside down.
|Maryland used to have wolves, but they were extirpated in the mid-1800's from excessive hunting; In the present day, only coyotes and coy-wolves are present in the wild.
|-
! {{w|Massachusetts}}
|[[File:Massachusetts1079.png|200x200px]]
|An elephant, being ridden by a man, carrying tea.
|Might be a reference to the {{w|Boston Tea Party}}, which occurred in Massachusetts, and the Republican political party. The man seems to be wearing a tricorn hat.
|-
! {{w|Michigan}}
|[[File:Michigan1079.png|200x200px]]
|A mitten for the lower portion, an eagle for the {{w|Upper Peninsula of Michigan}}.
|In grade schools, Michigan is often remembered via its shape, being very similar to a glove. People of Michigan point to their hand to represent where in the state they are from.
|-
! {{w|Minnesota}}
|[[File:Minnesota1079.png|200x200px]]
|A stack of money (eight bills) topped with a $20 USD bill, tied together.
|This could be a pun on the name of the state, as 'Moneysota.'
|-
! {{w|Mississippi}}
|[[File:Mississippi1079.png|200x200px]]
|A moai head facing west.
|This is a mirrored image of Alabama, referencing the fact that the two states appear symmetrical at a glance.
|-
! {{w|Missouri}}
|[[File:Missouri1079.png|200x200px]]
|Georgia.
|The outline of the state of Georgia, with a pair of {{w|Georgia Peach|Georgia peaches}}. This is paired with Georgia, which contains an outline of the state of Missouri.
|-
! {{w|Montana}}
|[[File:Montana1079.png|200x200px]]
|One half of a muffin, sideways.
|Muffins, especially ones with huckleberries, are a common treat in Montana.
|-
! {{w|Nebraska}}
|[[File:Nebraska1079.png|200x200px]]
|A blue {{w|Volkswagen Type 2}} with mattresses sticking out the back.
|This may be a reference to the {{w|Great Depression}}, where violent {{w|Dust storm|dust storms}} would sweep across the Midwest, destroying entire farms and forcing people to move west in search of jobs. During this time, many families would pack up all their belongings and move, which the VW type 2 may be modelling in this image.
|-
! {{w|Nevada}}
|[[File:Nevada1079.png|200x200px]]
|A clothes iron.
|Nevada has a history of iron ore mining, so it may likely be a play on their similar names.
|-
! {{w|New Hampshire}}
|[[File:NewHampshire1079.png|200x200px]]
|A tall brick factory building.
|There are many brick mill buildings in Manchester, the largest city in the state. During the industrial revolution, New Hampshire was a major player in the textile industry.
|-
! {{w|New Jersey}}
|[[File:NewJersey1079.png|200x200px]]
|A bent-over old person. He is carrying a cane.
|This may be referring to the state's growing percentage of elderly individuals. However, it could also just be a joke about the state's name being ''New'' Jersey.
|-
! {{w|New Mexico}}
|[[File:NewMexico1079.png|200x200px]]
|A liquid container labeled for something of unusual and silly danger.
|This may be a reference to the many nuclear tests conducted In New Mexico during the {{w|Cold War}}. See the [[#Transcript|Transcript section]] to read the labels on the container.
|-
! {{w|New York}}
|[[File:NewYork1079.png|200x200px]]
|A hybrid transmission with standard manual-style gears and a torque converter sliced in half.
|The Northern states, especially around Michigan, are known for their history of auto manufacturing. New York is not particularly well known for this, but they do have {{w|Category:Motor_vehicle_manufacturers_based_in_New_York_(state)|some firms}}, many from the early 1900s.
|-
! {{w|North Carolina}}
|[[File:NorthCarolina1079.png|200x200px]]
|A bouquet of flowers. They appear similar to {{w|Galium palustre|dogwood}}.
|Dogwood is known to be North Carolina's state flower since 1941. It is common in the mountains, and has small white flowers that are in loose, flat-topped clusters. Various animals eat its small, deep-blue or black fruit.
|-
! {{w|North Dakota}}
|[[File:NorthDakota1079.png|200x200px]]
|The top half of a guitar amplifier speaker cabinet.
|Possibly a {{w|Randall Amplifiers|Randall}} [https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-49c12/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/12694/26126/apihqruad__00850.1479879391.jpg RD412A] angled 4x12" cabinet, which is similar in appearance and bears [[Randall]]'s name.
|-
! {{w|Ohio}}
|[[File:Ohio1079.png|200x200px]]
|Underwear (Briefs).
|Possibly a reference to ''{{w|Captain Underpants}}'', which takes place in Ohio.
|-
! {{w|Oklahoma}}
|[[File:Oklahoma1079.png|200x200px]]
|A covered pot, dripping with boil-over.
|Western Oklahoma is often called "{{w|Oklahoma Panhandle|the panhandle}}"; sure enough, this is where the boiling pot's handle fits.
|-
! {{w|Oregon}}
|[[File:Oregon1079.png|200x200px]]
|A locomotive.
|Possibly a reference to the {{w|Oregon Trail}}.
|
|-
! {{w|Pennsylvania}}
|[[File:Pennsylvania1079.png|200x200px]]
|A very thick book with a bookmark.
|Could possibly represent Pennsylvania's rich history. This state witnessed important historical events such as the {{w|United States Declaration of Independence|declaration of independence}} and the {{w|battle of Gettysburg}}.
|-
! {{w|Rhode Island}}
|[[File:RhodeIsland1079.png|200x200px]]
|The bow half of a boat's hull.
|This is relevant as the state of Rhode Island is known for its boating industry. An anchor is also located on the {{w|Flag of Rhode Island|state flag of Rhode Island}}.
|-
! {{w|South Carolina}}
|[[File:SouthCarolina1079.png|200x200px]]
|A slice of pizza.
|There is no obvious correlation between pizza and South Carolina. Notably, other states like New York and Chicago have styles of pizza named after them; however, South Carolina is not known for its pizza.
|-
! {{w|South Dakota}}
|[[File:SouthDakota1079.png|200x200px]]
|The bottom half of guitar amplifier speaker cabinet.
|Possibly a {{w|Randall Amplifiers|Randall}} [https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-49c12/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/12694/26126/apihqruad__00850.1479879391.jpg RD412A] angled 4x12" cabinet, which is similar in appearance and bears [[Randall]]'s name.
|-
! {{w|Tennessee}}
|[[File:Tennessee1079.png|200x200px]]
|A number of children's books, placed in a slightly askew pile.
|Possibly a reference to Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. The books are {{w|Where's Waldo?}}, {{w|The Wreck of the Zephyr}}, {{w|The Way Things Work}}, Free Fall, {{w|Paddle-to-the-Sea}}, What It Feels Like to Be a Building, and {{w|The Crab with the Golden Claws}}.
|-
! {{w|Texas}}
|[[File:Texas1079.png|200x200px]]
|A dog sitting in a bowl.
|This may be a reference to a Texan stereotype in which many residents are dog-owners.
|-
! {{w|Utah}}
|[[File:Utah1079.png|200x200px]]
|An oven.
|This could possibly relate to Utah's official state cooking pot, which is the {{w|Dutch Oven}} from its history with pioneers. This could also reference to historic coke ovens, remnants of Utah's coal mining industry.
|-
! {{w|Vermont}}
|[[File:Vermont1079.png|200x200px]]
|A microscope, upside down.
|There does not seem to be a clear link between Vermont and microscopes. As a stretch, this might be a reference to Vermont being fairly strong in education, especially in the 2000s and early 2010s.
|-
! {{w|Virginia}}
|[[File:Virginia1079.png|200x200px]]
|A {{w|stegosaurus}}.
|May be referencing the Stegosaurus fossil in the {{w|Virginia Museum of Natural History}}.
|-
! {{w|Washington}}
|[[File:Washington1079.png|200x200px]]
|A whale.
| The {{w|Puget Sound}}, which is in Washington, is well known for its whale watching scene.
|-
! {{w|Washington DC}}
|[[File:WashingtonDC1079.png|200x200px]]
|A star.
|On most maps, capitals are shown as stars. Washington DC is the capital of the United States.
|-
! {{w|West Virginia}}
|[[File:WestVirginia1079.png|200x200px]]
|A {{w|frog}}.
|May be referencing one of the 12 known frog species in West Virginia.
|-
! {{w|Wisconsin}}
|[[File:Wisconsin1079.png|200x200px]]
|A side profile of a skull, oriented facing toward Lake Michigan.
|This could be a reference to a skull found in western Wisconsin in 2002. In August 2025, it was [https://www.kare11.com/article/news/local/wisconsin-sheriff-skull-found-in-ravine-what-kind-of-person-would-separate-a-head-from-a-body/89-68d02640-fd4a-486d-8ee6-5e4419a38a22 identified as the skull of 92-year-old Alyce Peterson.]
|-
! {{w|Wyoming}}
|[[File:Wyoming1079.png|200x200px]]
|The back side of a white envelope, sealed with red wax, with a black heart next to a signature (lower left corner).
|There is no obvious correlation between envelopes and Wyoming, other than their shape.
|}

==Transcript==

:The '''United Shapes'''
:A map of things states are shaped like

:[Each state has some item wedged to stay inside its borders]]
:[Washington contains a whale.]
:[Idaho contains a garden gnome sitting down.]
:[Montana contains half of a muffin turned on its side.]
:[North Dakota and South Dakota contain the top and bottom halves of a guitar amplifier speaker cabinet, respectively.]
:[Minnesota contains $160 in $20 bills, tied together.]
:[Upper peninsula and lower peninsula of Michigan contain an eagle and a mitten, respectively.]
:[Ohio contains a single pair of white underwear briefs.]
:[Pennsylvania contains a very thick book with a bookmark.]
:[New York contains a hybrid transmission with standard manual-style gears and a torque converter sliced in half.]
:[Vermont contains an upside-down microscope.]
:[New Hampshire contains a tall brick factory building.]
:[Maine contains a hand doing a Vulcan salute.]
:[Massachusetts contains an elephant carrying crates of tea and being ridden by a man.]
:[Rhode Island contains the bow half of a boat's hull.]
:[Connecticut contains a train conductor's hat.]
:[New Jersey contains a bent-over old person carrying a cane.]
:[Delaware contains a meerkat.]
:[Maryland contains a wolf, howling at the moon while upside-down.]
:[Washington D.C. is represented by a star.]
:[Virginia is represented by a stegosaurus.]
:[North Carolina contains a bouquet of flowers which appear similar to Marsh Bedstraws.]
:[South Carolina contains a slice of pizza.]
:[Georgia contains a red Missouri, which contains a drawing of the Gateway Arch.]
:[Florida contains an eggplant.]
:[Alabama contains a Moai head facing east.]
:[Mississippi contains a Moai head facing west.]
:[Louisiana contains a boot with gum stuck to the bottom.]
:[Texas contains a dog sitting in a bowl.]

:[New Mexico contains a yellow liquid container with upside-down labeling.]
::This end up!!
::Property of White Sands Missile Range
::Contains White Sand
::[Written inside a hazardous-materials {{w|NFPA 704|NFPA diamond}} with the ? very large, and the three '4' in the three top part of a diamond shape divided in four these three sections being blue(health), red(flammability), and yellow(instability). The lower part has a radioactive sign on the same grey background as the large rectangle.]
::??? 4 4 4
::Flammable
::Warning
::This product contains chemicals known
::Only to the State of Nevada.
::Contents under pressure from parents
::If swallowed, induce labor
::56 fluid ounces
::and 14 other ounces
::NB - There are several chemicals such as {{w|Pentaborane(9)}}(reacts with water) and {{w|tert-Butyl hydroperoxide|''tert''-Butyl hydroperoxide}}(explosive) which have a 4-4-4 rating, however, a substance that is both 4-4-4 and radioactive is unlikely to be handled in bulk.

:[Arizona contains a refrigerated shelf containing milk, bread, and pastries.]
:[California contains a vacuum cleaner.]
:[Oregon contains a steam locomotive.]
:[Wyoming contains the back side of a white envelope, sealed with red wax, with a black heart next to a signature in the lower left corner. ]
:[Nebraska contains a blue VW type 2 with mattresses sticking out of the back. ]
:[Iowa contains a tomato, lettuce, cold cut and cheese sandwich.]
:[Illinois contains a gangster with a guitar case, upside down.]
:[Indiana contains the brush end of a paintbrush.]
:[Kentucky contains a cloud.]
:[West Virginia contains a frog.]
:[Wisconsin contains a side profile of a skull, oriented facing toward Lake Michigan.]
:[Tennessee contains a number of children's books, placed in a slightly askew pile.]
:[Arkansas contains a clear measuring cup.]
:[Oklahoma contains a covered pot, dripping with boil-over.]
:[Nevada contains an iron for clothing.]
:[Utah contains an oven with a towel on a towel bar on the side.]
:[Colorado contains a fake Wikipedia article on Colorado. Below the text as seen in the provided close up:]
:[web address:]
::en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colorado
:[Headers]
::Wikipedia
::Article Talk
::Colorado
:[Main article]
::Colorado (Pronounced [ˈeːijaˌfjatlaˌjœːkʏtl̥] is a US State encompassing portions of the Rocky Mountains and the Great Plains. The region has been inhabited since at least 11,000 BCE, and some archaeological evidence suggest the state – with roughly its current borders – has literally always existed. Colorado is separated from Wyoming by a 28-mile demilitarized zone, and has at times exercised substantial regional power via the installation of puppet governments in neighboring states. Geographically, Colorado is eleven-dimensional, though seven of those dimensions are tightly compacted and difficult to detect in most areas of the state. Colorado is home to the nation's oldest continually-operated wormhole and two of President Lincoln's horcruxes. The wildlife in Colorado is commonly characterized as "erratic", particularly in the radiation zones around Longmont. The State's timber wolf population is largely bipedal; the Park Service has expressed "concern" at their attempts to enroll in
:[Fact box with correct (though black instead of blue) state flag and emblem and fake motto:]
::State of Colorado
::Motto:
::"Si parare possis, vivere septem."
::(With preparation, survival is possible for over a week.)

:[Kansas contains a spinet piano.]
:[Missouri contains an olive-green Georgia, which contains a branch of a peach tree.]
:[Alaska contains a bear with a jet pack and a ray gun.]
:[Hawaii contains a snowball on the island of Hawaii. The smaller islands are small bits of snow.

==Trivia==
This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20220125014714/https://store.xkcd.com/products/united-shapes-poster available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

In the [[:Media:Colorado1079.png|fake Wikipedia article about Colorado]], Randall [[859|forgot the closing parentheses]] ')' after the pronunciation.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:US maps]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dogs]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]] 
[[Category:Volcanoes]] 
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

1127: Congress

2026-03-31T17:01:36Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 1127
| date = October 29, 2012
| title = Congress
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = congress.png
| titletext = It'd be great if some news network started featuring partisan hack talking heads who were all Federalists and Jacksonians, just to see how long it took us to catch on.
}}

Click the date above the comic to go to the xkcd page, and there is a link to the [http://xkcd.com/1127/large/ much larger version].

==Explanation==
It appears that the (at the time) {{w|United States presidential election, 2012|upcoming 2012 election}} has put [[Randall]] into a political state of mind, as this is the second comic in a few weeks that has dealt with political history ([[1122: Electoral Precedent]]). As with that comic, this comic goes through the entire history of the {{w|Federal government of the United States|U.S. Federal Government}}. Also notably, Randall makes a number of observations that are akin to the type of observations Randall denounces in 1122 (e.g. for 1928, Randall notes that no Republican has since won the presidency without a Nixon or a Bush on the ticket). Just around the election he posted two more comics related to this: [[1130: Poll Watching]] and [[1131: Math]].

===U.S. Federal Government===
In the {{w|Federal government of the United States|U.S. Federal Government}}, one of the {{w|Separation of powers|checks and balances}} is a {{w|bicameralism|bicameral}} {{w|United States Congress}}, which consists of two "houses": the {{w|United States Senate|Senate}}, its "upper" house; and the {{w|United States House of Representatives|House of Representatives}} ("the House"), its "lower house". The Senate consists of 2 senators elected from each state (thus 100 total), while the House consists of 435 voting representatives (a number decided upon in {{w|Apportionment Act of 1911|1911}} by law) whose {{w|United States congressional apportionment|apportionment}} is split between the states proportional to their population; although each state gets at least one (the House also has non-voting representatives from non-state territories like {{w|Puerto Rico}} and the {{w|District of Columbia}}). Every ten years, the House is reapportioned based on the latest census. The most populous state as of 2012 is California which has 53 seats in the House. Senators serve 6-year terms with elections held every 2 years for one-third of the seats. Members of the House (called Representatives or Congressmen/women) serve 2-year terms with all of the seats contested every 2 years.

In order for a bill to become a law, it must be passed by both the House and the Senate. In a way, this theoretically ensures that the bill is supported both by the majority of states (the Senate), and the majority of the population (the House). The President may then sign the bill into law, he may "veto" the bill, or he may do nothing, in which case it becomes a law if and only if Congress is in session after a waiting period of 10 days (not including Sundays).

===Political ideologies===
In politics, there is a {{w|political spectrum|scale}} that represents the political beliefs of a politician. The scale goes from "{{w|Left-wing politics|left}}" to "{{w|Right-wing politics|right}}" of "center" — which generally describes a balancing point of beliefs (sometimes called "left-wing" or "right-wing").

The "left" is a general belief in social justice, and is sometimes associated with {{w|socialism}}. Modern left-wingers generally prioritize equality, and support policies like welfare and government-subsidized healthcare. This trends toward having a larger federal government. In the U.S., "liberal" is a term often used to denote left-leaning tendencies.

The "right" generally believe in personal responsibility and individual liberty, which is often termed {{w|conservatism|conservative}}. This trends towards having less regulation and thereby a smaller federal government. The goal is to keep the nation stable, and reducing the interference by the government with a person's wealth. This ostensibly means lower taxes, because the government does not provide as much.

Politicians typically align themselves into groups of similar beliefs and positions called "parties". In the U.S., there have generally been two dominant parties, although there have been times where three or more parties have shared roughly equal influence and support. In today's politics (which is apparently known as (the second part of) the fifth era of political parties, or {{w|Fifth Party System}}, as noted on the outside edges of the comic) of the two current primary U.S. political parties, the {{w|Democrats}} are the left-leaning party, and the {{w|Republicans}} are the right-leaning party. The dominant parties are generally considered "moderate" in their left- or right-wing leanings, as either party appears to requires the support of a majority (or a few percent under) of voters to win. However, this is complicated by a process called gerrymandering where election boundaries are redrawn to allow a political advantage to the party currently in power. Thus a popular majority state wide or any ratio of votes to representatives will not necessarily be reflected in delegates awarded, an example being the Republicans' REDMAP 2012 report ([http://maddowblog.msnbc.com/_news/2013/01/21/16630863-virginia-republicans-move-for-permanent-majority]). Smaller parties often run candidates with more extreme views, but such candidates rarely win, due to a more limited number of possible supporters ensuring that even a relatively large minority would have zero chance of representation. (see {{w|Duverger's law}}).

===The comic===
The comic effectively consists of three separate charts: The left- and right-hand charts are the main charts; they represent the Senate and House respectively, and purport to show the left- and right-wing leanings of each legislature through U.S. history. There is a legend on the right that sets out fairly clearly how the charts work, but basically Randall has split each wing into three levels including the very moderate or "Center" right or left, and the more extreme or "Far" right or left, as well as the average left and right without prefix. A dotted yellow line represents the balance of power in each legislature, and white lines represent the leanings of certain notable people including presidents.

Some presidents are not indicated, because they were never senators or congressmen (most of these were state Governors, such as {{w|Bill Clinton|Clinton}}, {{w|George W. Bush|Bush}} and 2012 candidate {{w|Mitt Romney}}). As may be noted from the chart, {{w|Barack Obama}} is considered "left" while {{w|Paul Ryan}} is considered "far right". It's also notable that the "center right" ideology appears to be completely eradicated from the House and is waning in the Senate (although a similar trend is shown around 1900 with the centrists making a comeback thereafter).

On either side of these charts, there are descriptions or explanations for expansions and contractions of each ideological group.

The center chart appears to primarily act as a timeline. Each president is listed with their leanings indicated by a left or right arrow. Wars are shaded in grey. Other notable events are also indicated. On either side of the center chart (although somewhat mixed in with the aforementioned Senate/House explanations), there are also references to the primary parties of each era showing how they evolved (left-leaning parties on the left, and right-leaning parties on the right).

Finally, there's a little extra commentary on the right side, below the legend.

===The title text===
The title text refers to two political parties in American history: the Federalists and the Jacksonians.

Note that this means the two parties are not strictly contemporaries. There are features of both the modern Republican and Democratic parties in each, so depending on the topic presented, it may take a long time to figure out that they are not these modern parties until the topic of discussion changes. They do, however, make a nice dichotomy.

The Federalists are one of the oldest political parties in American History. Federalists were seen as conservative in their time, and similarly to modern Republicans much of their support came from bankers and businessmen and they were committed to a fiscally sound and government, but on the flip side they favored a strong central government, regulation of industry, a national banking system, and were protectionistic.

The Jacksonian party is one of the four branches of the Democratic Party that developed during the political chaos after the Federalist party died out in the War of 1812. The Jacksonians were considered liberal for their time, they believed in one man, one vote, regardless of standing, and their mascot was a donkey and they're the ancestors of the modern Democratic Party, but on the flip side they did not want a strong national government and believed that the government should have limited impact in the regulation of industry, going so far as to end the bank of the United States, and were fiercely expansionistic.

Network news channels regularly feature {{w|Pundit|talking heads}}, supposed 'experts' who offer their opinion on the topical political stories. Where these talking heads are strongly aligned with a particular party, and are unconcerned with anything other than winning, they could be described as a {{w|Partisan|partisan}} {{w|Political hack| hacks}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

:A history of
:'''The United States Congress'''
:Partisan and ideological makeup

:[The comic is divided into three massive sections, SENATE, PRESIDENCIES, and HOUSE. Timelines run backwards down the page between each section. In the HOUSE and SENATE sections, shifting, curving red and blue areas of different brightness illustrate the shifting balance of power between "Members of Left-Leaning Parties" and "Members of Right-Leaning Parties". Under PRESIDENCIES, different administrations are labeled and wars are shaded in gray. There are notes throughout all sections.]

:[There are additional notes on the right.]

:LEGEND
::''[Square containing ribbons of color merging upwards with larger areas]'': Branches join in when new members enter Congress and cause an ideological bloc to grow. (Note: If the new member is elected as another retires from the same ideological bloc, no change is shown.)
::''[Square containing ribbons of color splitting off from larger areas]'': Branches split off when members leave Congress, causing their ideological bloc to shrink. (Note: If the new member is elected as another retires from the same ideological bloc, no change is shown.)
::''[Square showing yellow dotted line crossing from red to blue area]'': The yellow line marks the midpoint, which indicates which side has control of the chamber.
::''[Square in which curve briefly separates from blue area]'': If a bloc loses members in one election and gains them in the next, the exiting stream may rejoin. This does not necessarily mean the same people returned.
::''[Square showing white dashed line labeled Lyndon Johnson on top of ribbon merging with main area]'': Future (and past) US Presidents who served in Congress are shown with white dashed lines. Other noteworthy members are shown with thin solid lines.
::''[Square in which tinted area marked "Whig" sits over mix of red and blue areas]'': Tinted white outlines mark the approximate membership of some of the smaller political parties.

:HOW IDEOLOGY IS CALCULATED
::Each member of Congress is assigned to an ideological category using DW-NOMINATE, a statistical system created by political scientists Keith Poole and Howard Rosenthal. This system rates each member of Congress's ideological position position [sic] based on their votes.
::DW-NOMINATE is purely mathematical and involves no judgement on the content of bills. Instead, members of Congress are placed on a spectrum based on how consistently they vote together.
::While people argue that ideology is many-dimensional, Poole and Rosenthal found that nearly all Congressional voting behavior - especially in the modern era - can be accurately predicted by using just one ideological variable.
::This variable turns out to roughly correspond to position on the classic economic liberal/conservative spectrum.
::Because members of Congress have served in overlapping terms with past members in a chain back to the first Congress, the system allows comparison of ideology across time - even accounting for individual members' ideological drift. (Note: Scores are comparable across time but not between chambers.)
::For more detail, see Poole and Rosenthal's website, voteview.com.

 little guy—as long as the little guy was white.With a natural base among poor southern farmers, the Democrats became the party of slavery.
The basic contradiction of a party of slaveowners ostensibly standing for egalatarianism would go unresolved until the late 20th century. The 18th Congress w.ta,s,echoaveorwtic.hWeimhaitnghiayddobemcionmanet
iftPRae tpU jbel iffcea rnssc:rf';:gpmeen'tecdrai tniO four warring factions. DEMOCRATIC-REPUBLICANS The Democratic-Republi cans (or "Jefferson ian Republicans") were the party formed by the anti-administration faction.
This chart places them provisionally on the left, although since they absorbed many pro-administration figures, their DW-NOMINATE average is very cloo to zero.
ANTI-ADMINISTRATION The anti-administration faction favored states' rights and farmers, and opposed what they saw as Hamilton's tendencies toward elitism and monarchism.
PRESIDENCIES Barack Obama
2006-2004
2002-2000
1998-1996
1994-1992
1988
1.6 1984
1.2 1980
1938 1936
1 93 1
George W. Bush.
Bill <LINTON
George H.VV. sewu BUSH.
Ronald REAGAN.
Jimmy CARTER Gerald FORD.
—
Richard NIXON.
Lyndon B. JOHNSON
John F KENNEDY
Dwight EISENHOWER.
Harry S •TRUMAN
Roo.. di...Re
(ROOSEVELT
1906 1904
190 2 1900
1886 1884
1 882 1880
1866 1864
1862 1860
Ig8 1856
I 806 1804
Calvin COOLIDGE. Warren G. HARDING.
Woodrow _II/11 WILSON
William Howard TAFT.
Theodore ROOSEVELT.
Mc Krt. assassinated
Benjamin HARRISON.
Grover CLEVELAND Chester A. ARTHUR' l'adrnesA. GARFIELD• Rutherford B. HAYES.
Ulysses S.
GRANT.
Andrew JOHNSON.
Abraham LINCOLN.
James (BUCHANAN
Franklin PIERCE
Millard FILLMORE. zachary TAYLOR.
James K. •POLK John TYLER. HARRISON•
Martin Van •BUREN
Andrew JACKSON
John Quincy ADAMS.
James •MONROE
james w"18'i MADISON
Thomas JEFFERSON
John ADAMS.
George WASHINGTON.
2002 2000
I 9 98 1996
I 95, 1988
I 9 86 1984 1980 1976
1972 1968
I 9 66 1964 1960
I9S8 1956
I 9 SO 1948
I 946 1944
1932 1928 1924
1922 1920 1916 1912 1908
I 9 06 1904 1900
1 898 1896
1890 1888
1886 1884 1880 1876 1872 1868
I 8 66 1864 1860
I8S8 1856
I 8 SO 1848
1832 1828 1824 1820 1816 1812 1808
1806 1804 1800
1796
I 7 90 1788
HOUSE
Members of Left-Leaning Parties Members of Right-Leaning Parties 311 320
h Right
The Tea Party wave of 2010 helped House Republicans regain all the ground they had lost in 2006 and 2008 and then some.
The Democratic Party's gains in 2006 and 2008 came largely from centrist candidates in swing districts—the same ones who would -- be voted out in 20 I
Center
Democratic losses in 1994 came almost exclusively among centrists, leaving the left and far left blocs relatively untouched—a pattern which would continue in 2010
Democrats gained a
While the size of the Republican majority didn't Np change very much during this period, its internal makeup did.The centrist bloc nearly vanished, and in every election from 1984 to 2004, the far right bloc grew.
Newt Gingrich's Republican Revolution of 1994 gave the GOP control of the House for the first time in 40 years.
With Ronald Reagan's election in 1980, Republicans regained the ground they lost afterWatergate.
number of-House oats
in the aftermath of the
Watergate scandal.
Democrats added seats in 1958 through wins in the Rust Belt and the gain of every seat in Connecticut's delegation.
The New Deal wave consisted almost entirely of centrist Democrats. Over the course of the 20th century, theo centrists generally lost ground to left and far-left Democrats—a slow motion version of the process that has happened more rapidly and completely among House Republicans.
Other than these few years after the war, the House was under Democratic control for the entire period from the Great Depression until the Republican Revolution of 1994.
Republicans gained seats in I 942, as they had in the late 9I0s, due to concern over American entanglement in a war in Europe.
The onset of the Great Depression sparked a huge backlash against the Republicans who had held power throughout the 1920s.
PROGRESSIVE '1 AND fARME LABOR PARTIES
After losing his bid for the nomination, Roosevelt ran as a third-party candidate, splitting the Republican vote and leading to Wil.n's victory and huge (albeit temporary) Democratic gains in the House.
The 1896 presidential contest, which pitted Democrat William Jennings Bryan against Republican William McKinley, was probably the most heated election in American history.
In 1882, Democrats won seats thanks to disapproval of a Republican Congress that seemed too friendly to industry.
POPULIST
The "Panic of 1893" economic depression led to Republicans winning the largest single landslide in Congressional history. John Clayton was elected after ing a first count t 1:fttlefIrtlunsg if:te h e
The Democrat of seats in I 880 but no *, swon a lot one seems really sure why.
was shot by an unidentified assassin. His ideological category is unknown.
1 I
Disapproval of Grant's handing of the Panic of I 873 (an economic depression) led to Democrats winning control of the House for the first time since the war.
CIVIL*WAR
4)
After most Southern represtatives left to join the Confederate Congitss, the Democrats who remained were defined by opposition to the war
REPUBLICANS The Republican Party formed around opposition to slavery. As the party of the North, it
and financial interests, i ndustrialization, and Puritan - influenced social reforms eventually culminating in the Pro hibiti on movement.
WHIGS The Whigs were supporters of business and markets, economic modernization, and social reform.
They ultimately collapod over the issue of slavery, with the abolitionist faction eventually becoming the Republican Party.
The factions created by the .h ism in the Ion Congress then rejoined into a chaotic series of new parties, some only lasting one term. with Alexander Hamilton and administration faction allied ADMINISTRATION The pro-administration faction favored a central bank, and relaxed relations with party formed from the pro-George Washi ngton. sound national fiscal policy, Great Britain. PRO-FEDERALISTS The Federalists were the
LEGEND
Congress and cause an ideological bloc to grow rZtnill7d=o= C'nongre'ess.s Taliturg'theireniderftm'rological=to striik LIM it,'Ithetirem=7:::To"17ww7
, WHIG
Thin:LT:fiche sidenw'shasth:cornitrol'oinf tthe'cramber.
If a bloc Loses members in coe electich and gains them in the next. the exiting stream may reioin. nereehily mem de • tS who sem. Othr7;dZs'!.°:7b7:::sh.rMelt =intcd
Tinted We. outlines mark the approomate rnember.ip of some of the smaller pot..
HOW IDEOLOGY IS CALCULATED
Each member of Congress is assigned to an 'ideological category usrig DWNOMINATE a stat.ical system created by political scientists Keith Poole and Howard Rosenthal This system rat. each member of Congress's idedegical poshion positich based ch their votes. DWNOMINATE is pure, mathematical and involv. no judgernent co the content of bilk Instead.rnembers of Ccogress are placed ch a spectrum based ch how consistent, they vote together. VVhAe people argue that ideology is rrany-dimen,onal. Poole and Rosenthal found that nearly all Congres,onal voting
predicted by using just coe ideological variable. This variable tums out to rough, arrespond to position ch
Because members of Cal,. have served in overlapping terms with past members in a chain badcto the frst Congress.the system dm. comparisch of irfeology across
.11_ (Note: Scores are ccmparable across time but not between chambers,
F....de... Fn.
From the 1960s to the 1990s, conservative Southerners gradually left the Democratic Party while liberal Northerners moved the other way—reducing the ideological overlap between the parties and making each more homogenous.
Political scientists break US history into partisan eras called "party systems." Although the Fifth Party System (the New Deal Coalition) underwent this massive realignment in the 1960s and 1970s, they refuse to agree that the Fifth Party System has ended, because they can't point to a specific election where the realignment happened.This means we're now in the second part of the Fifth Party System, which seems like it might just be a political science Deathly Hallows/Breaking Dawn thing.
Voters in the early days of the Great Depression rallied around New York governor Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who united farmers, labor unions, academics, and minorities into the New Deal Coalition, whose slow disintegration was at the core of partisan politics for much of the 20th century
The late 1800s saw an obsessive focus on the issue of bimetalism that it took me a while to understand.
Farmers and poor people who owed money favored a dual gold-silver standard, because it would lead to inflation, which would make debts easier to pay off. Wealthy bankers—who owned that debt—wanted the opposite.This became the focus of a Main St. vs.Wall. St cultural struggle culminating in William Jennings Bryan's famous "Cross of Gold" speech. (Despite his fiery oratory, Bryan lost the presidential election to McKinley)
Politics in the first half of the 1800s was completely dominated by the issue of slavery, which was supported by poor white Southern farmers—Democrats—and opposed by the Northern Protestant intellectuals and wealthy businesspeople who formed first the Whigs and then the Republican Party.
During this period, as during the Civil Rights era, a second DW-NOMINATE variable becomes important, and corresponds to voting behavior on regional issues. If the first variable represents the left-right variable, then during these periods the second variable could simply be thought of as representing the racism spectrum.
The first divide in Congress was between supporters (right) and opponents (left) of the Washington Administration. -->

==Trivia==
* The axis for the senate is mislabelled; on the right, it goes 0-10-20-30-40-50-'''40-40'''-80.
* This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20211215045721/https://store.xkcd.com/products/congress-poster available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].
* In the "Second party system" of the "senator" column, there is a text that contains the "double the" typo.

{{comic discussion}}

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1446: Landing

2026-03-31T17:01:20Z

DollarStoreBa'al: cat

{{comic
| number = 1446
| date = November 12, 2014
| title = Landing
| image = landingAnimated.gif
| titletext = [LIVE]
}}
Frames of the comic started appearing on November 12, 2014 and were updated every five minutes. The collection of images forms a {{w|flip book}} that is displayed above.

==Explanation==
This comic changed over time during 12 hours and 15 minutes starting at 0:00 EST (when the comic normally is released) posting 143 pictures that tracked the progress of the {{w|Philae (spacecraft)|Philae}} lander separating from the {{w|European Space Agency}}'s {{w|Rosetta (spacecraft)|Rosetta}} probe to land on comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. More info can be found here: [https://rosetta.esa.int rosetta.esa.int].

The comic presents the imagined anthropomorphic "thoughts" of the Rosetta spacecraft and the Philae lander (and occasionally other parties) during the hours approaching separation from each other, approach to the comet and finally the apparently successful landing on the comet.

Beginning at [[Media:???65.png|11:05]], the comic includes a '''"Status Report"''' in the lower right corner which summarizes the status of various interested parties and accomplishments, beginning with "Rosetta", "Philae lander", "Mission Control", "Comet 67P", and "Have we landed on a comet?". As events occur in the comic, more status summaries are added to keep track of the changes to the situation and the supposed emotions behind them.

In many pictures a whale can be seen on the surface of the comet - often marked with a "?" as are almost all other parts of the unknown surface at this time. There is also drawn a [[Cueball]] on the surface also marked with a "?" Both are then at some point marked with a ''probably not'' - starting from [[Media:???83.png|12:35]]. The whales are also mentioned in the "Status Report" where they for instance may be listed as "calm" or "(probably) not in space". At [[Media:???122.png|16:00]] the when the entire Earth goes ''AAAAAAAAAAA'' the whales are listed as saying this as well (along with Mission control and U.S. scientists). From this moment "Dolphins and fish" are also mentioned in the report. They are asking if it is the whales that scream. The reference to whales comes from the fact that Philae brought along two harpoons that should have been used to anchor it to the comet. On Earth, harpoons have mainly been used to hunt whales; Randall previously mentioned that comparison in [[1402: Harpoons]], suggesting that Philae was programmed to believe it was sent to kill the comet. It is Philae that "dreams" about whales on the surface of the comet which can be seen in the picture for [[Media:???93.png|13:25]] and in the status report.

Some {{w|Douglas Adams}} fans believe these whales and dolphins are references to ''{{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}'' and ''{{w|So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish}}.'' Whales in space have been appearing in fiction and art since the 1960s. However, with the above-mentioned reasons for whales, dolphins, and fish, this seems less and less likely.

At [[Media:???115.png|15:25]] Rosetta asks Philea about destroying and levitating rocks via mind control. This is a reference to the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32vlOgN_3QQ Ambition] short movie, ESA commitioned to gather public awareness of the Rosetta mission.

Shortly after release from Rosetta ([[Media:???56.png|10:15]]), Philae calls out 'Spaaaaaaaaaace'; this mimics the {{w|Portal 2}} 'Space core' who, on finally reaching space in the last scenes, gives the same elated cry.

US Scientists presumably wake up at 7:40 EST ([[Media:???96.png|13:40]] UTC) and in the report they now says "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?" to indicate their tiredness. This does not change until 10:25 EST ([[Media:???115.png|15:25]] UTC) so they are slow to wake (2 hours 45 minutes). At this point, they becomes anxious as there are only 10 minutes to landing. This last until there is 15 minutes until news of landing (a reference to the 28 minutes time delays due to the huge distance to the comet). From then on ([[Media:???120.png|15:50]]) they and the mission control (MC) say "AAAAAAA". They stop this when the news should be there - the NOW ([[Media:???122a.png|16:05]]) - and everybody holds their breath indicated by [...] - also MC. Finally ([[Media:???125.png|16:25]]) they and MC become proud (along with Earth) when Philae announces ''I got you a comet.'' It should have stopped there but as Philae bounced around, they then becomes anxious again [[Media:???128.png|16:40]], and then these changes to nervous [[Media:???129.png|16:45]] (switching those emotions with MC). And then suddenly ([[Media:???130.png|16:50]]) it is no longer US Scientists but just plain Scientists - that are nervous. It stays like this during the last few pictures, although they again become anxious, but when Philae announces ''I did it'', they drink wine as indicated with "[wine]" in the report from the second to last picture ([[Media:???134.png|17:10]]).

Randall has written "A big thank-you to [https://twitter.com/elakdawalla Emily Lakdawalla] for help and advice on this comic" in the xkcd page header for [https://www.xkcd.com/1446/ Landing], revealing the possible source of his near real-time data.

At [[Media:???124.png|16:20]] the status report had announced a big '''Yes''' to the questions "Have we landed on a comet" and "Do harpoons work on comets". According to [https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-30026398 BBC News], the harpoons did, however, not fire as planned and the lander may have landed, bounced off, and landed again. This would explain the change in "Do harpoons work on comets" to "Don't know" at [[Media:???127.png|16:35]] and the change in "Have we landed on a comet?" to "Yes, at least once" at [[Media:???130.png|16:50]]. According to [https://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/13/science/space/european-space-agencys-spacecraft-lands-on-comets-surface.html?_r=0 The New York Times], radio contact with Philae fluctuated, which would explain the "Anxious", "Nervous", and "Confused" statuses around that time. In the end the lander did land and whereas the Do harpoons work status did not change, so did the have we landed on a comet which changed back to '''Yes''' at [[Media:???134.png|17:10]].

The lander bounced three times and ended up in a place where the solar panels were mainly in the shadow. This resulted in the lander shutting down when its own battery ran out of power after only 2–3 days on the ground. This seemed sad, as there was only a small chance that the seasons on the comet would change so that the panels would later receive sun again. However, in the few hours that Philae had on the ground, it still managed to analyze the surface and obtain a lot of useful data - so that part of the mission was still a success already. This all happened after the comic stopped updating.

On June 13, 2015, it was announced that signals had been received on earth indicating that Philae had awoken and that the solar panels were functioning. Ironically, had Philae landed in a place originally out of shadow, it would have already failed before this time (due to overheating), so it was actually fortunate that it landed as it did and would be able to operate during the time that the comet would be closer to the sun. To celebrate the lander's revival, Randall updated the comic, depicting the lander saying "Hi." on the comet's surface.

The comic title was originally "???" (probably to not give away too early what the comic was about), but changed to "Landing" when Randall came on live at five in the morning EST. At that moment the title text also changed from "..." to "[LIVE]". It was also then that the timestamps' timezone switch. At 5:00 AM (EST) the time stamp in the picture naming scheme switched from EST to {{w|Coordinated Universal Time|UTC}} as used in ESA's time keeping, resulting in a jump from [[Media:???53.png|04:55]] to [[Media:???54.png|10:00]] without actually any such delay between the two pictures.

There were however a few pictures with more than 5 minutes of delay (about 11 times five minutes without an update in total during the "live" transmission). The update seemed to have stopped after 137 pictures at 17:15 UTC, 12 hours and 15 minutes after the first picture. (The first picture has number 0, so the last had number 136). But later, sometime after 17:15 UTC, the counter for the last picture was increased to 142 (143 pictures in total), so maybe Randall inserted 6 extra pictures later - however he must then have changed the numbers on the pictures, since the last picture remained the same until mid-June, but with number 142 instead of 136. It is thus now difficult to find out which pictures would have been added later. However, eight pictures were not included in the original table with the [[#Frame by Frame Breakdown|Frame by Frame Breakdown]] below. So it must have been some of those missing pictures that were added later - maybe all of them, as the last three may already have been added before the last picture was released (All 143 pictures are included in the flip-book gif image shown here above). But even 143 pictures at 5 minutes intervals only spans 11 hours and 50 minutes, thus there are still five ''5 minute intervals'' without any picture. See which in the [[1446: Landing/Frame by Frame Breakdown|table]].

The Rosetta space probe is shown in [[1621: Fixion]], which explains the {{w|Flyby anomaly}} experienced the first time (of three) the probe got close to Earth.

===Frame by Frame Breakdown===
*Here is a [[1446: Landing/Frame by Frame Breakdown|link to a table]] with a frame-by-frame breakdown of all 143 pictures.
*Here is a [[1446: Landing/All pictures|page with all the pictures]] frame by frame.

==Transcript==
:[This transcript gives only the text of the most [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/c/c7/%3F%3F%3F140.png recent picture] shown in the comic; that which is now shown when clicking to the comic on xkcd. This changed a few times after the live event ended.]

:[Showing Philae on a comet.]
:Time Since Landing: 211 days
:Philae: Hi!
:[Status report at the bottom-right corner.]
:Status report:
::Rosetta: In space
::Philae lander: Hi!
::Mission control: '''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''
::Scientists: '''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''
::Have we landed on a comet?: '''''YES.'''''
::Sun: Warm
::Comet: Big
::Philae, where ''ARE'' you?: Home

:[For the '''full transcript''' of all 143 pictures see '''[[1446: Landing/Transcript]]'''.]

==Trivia==
*There appears to be a brief error between 02:35 and 02:45, where the time until lander separation is shown as 1 hour, counting down to 50 minutes, before being corrected to 75 minutes at 02:50. Since this was supposed to be during the "non-live" section before Randall got up (and got live) it is not sure whether this was a "real" mistake, or if he was up anyway, and corrected this timing error when he discovered the plans had change during the approach flight.
*Later after the initial release of this comic Randall added a link to this page. It's the first time this wiki is mentioned at xkcd itself and it's viewable in the HTML-source or here: [https://xkcd.com/1446/info.0.json https://xkcd.com/1446/info.0.json]. The text is: ''"A very thorough explanation of the comic is available here: http:\n\nwww.explainxkcd.com\nwiki\nindex.php\n1446:_Landing"''.
*A similar idea was used in [[1190: Time]].

{{comic discussion}}

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