explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3112: Geology Murder

2026-06-22T09:30:40Z

Ello: minor edit

{{comic
| number = 3112
| date = July 7, 2025
| title = Geology Murder
| image = geology_murder_2x.png
| imagesize = 327x359px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = After determining that his body was full of pipes carrying iron-rich fluid, our current theory is that the dagger-shaped object precipitated within the wound.
}}

==Explanation==
Someone has been stabbed to death and two {{w|geology|geologists}} are examining the corpse. However, rather than using {{w|forensic science}} techniques that might be typical for investigating a murder, they inappropriately apply geological analyses, leading to some unlikely suggestions about what occurred. Firstly, they note that the victim is lying "uncoNforMably" (not "uncoMforTably") on the bench. An {{w|unconformity}} in geology is a gap of missing strata between an upper and lower layer, in this case implying that there is missing information about how the man came to be lying on the bench, or referring to the discontinuity between the material of the bench and that of the body with its clothing. This may also be related to the break in the man's body where the wound is located.

The "iron-rich intrusion in his back" refers to the dagger that presumably killed him. An {{w|intrusion}} is rock formed when {{w|magma}} slowly cools below ground, and the geologists are speculating that the dagger formed after steel flowed into place in and on the body (and somehow became dagger-shaped). The dagger is "iron-rich" because it's made of steel, which is composed largely of iron.

"{{w|Clastic rock|Clastic}}" refers to rock made up of broken pieces of older rocks. In this case it would suggest that a {{w|rift}} - a gap or fissure - opened up in the person's back and the dagger fell in. Having long linear gaps appear is something that happens to the Earth's crust, and can lead to clastic rock when other rock is swept into the gap. While {{w|skin fissure}}s are a real condition, and some genetic conditions such as {{w|ichthyosis}} can cause them, they don't normally cause rocks or daggers to collect in people's backs.{{cn}}

In geology a "pipe" is a structure formed by magma, geysers, or {{w|hydrothermal vent}}s. The "pipes carrying iron-rich fluid" would be similar to a mineral rich hydrothermal feature like a geyser or a black smoker on the seafloor. In this case they are the person's {{w|blood vessel}}s, as blood has a large amount of the molecule {{w|hemoglobin}}, which has iron atoms in it that help it transport oxygen. The geologists speculate that the iron {{w|Precipitation (chemistry)|precipitated}} - sedimented out - out of the blood to form the dagger, which is highly unlikely. This is the kind of geophysical process which tends to produce {{w|Vein (geology)|veins}} of minerals in actual geology, but is not generally associated with {{w|vein}}s in the human body. Notably, the {{w|Great Oxygenation Event}}, when oxygen-producing organisms first created an oxidizing environment on Earth, resulted in dense precipitation of iron-rich compounds in the oceans. However, metallic iron was not created; even the environment before the Great Oxygenation Event wasn't reducing enough to create metallic iron.

==Transcript==
:[There's a lab bench with a dead Cueball-like person lying on it, with a dagger sticking out of his back. Cueball is standing to the left of the table, Ponytail is standing to the right looking at the dead body. All three are wearing lab coats.]
:Cueball: We found him lying unconformably on the lab bench. I wonder if the iron-rich intrusion in his back is related.
:Ponytail: It could be clastic. Maybe a rift opened in his body, and the intrusive material later fell into the hole.

:[Caption below the comic:]
:The Geology Department investigates their first murder

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3111: Artificial Gravity

2026-06-22T08:55:57Z

Ello: Slight addition

{{comic
| number = 3111
| date = July 4, 2025
| title = Artificial Gravity
| image = artificial_gravity_2x.png
| imagesize = 423x365px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Low gravity can cause bone loss, so we're pleased to report that, since we initiated capsule motion, the number of bones in each crew member has been steadily increasing.
}}

==Explanation==
In a low gravity environment, such as a spaceship taking an interplanetary or interstellar voyage, the human body will experience slow but {{w|Effect_of_spaceflight_on_the_human_body|adverse side effects}}. Many prototype designs have been introduced to combat this, both in science fiction and real life. One of the most common (for non-fictional purposes, or in {{w|hard science fiction}}) is to use a rotating system to subject the crew to [[123: Centrifugal Force|centrifugal force]], simulating the effects of {{w|gravity}}. Examples of mimicking gravity using spinning elements are: the whole wheel-like space-station and internal living ring of the ''Discovery'', from ''{{w|2001: A Space Odyssey}}''; the extended rotating arms of the ''Hermes'', in ''{{w|The Martian (film)|The Martian}}''; the whole rotating structure of ''Endurance'', from the movie ''{{w|Interstellar (film)|Interstellar}}''.

[[Cueball]] instead describes a spacecraft in which the crew quarters are being continuously shaken back and forth across an axis. [[Ponytail]] immediately sees problems with this approach, and asks if the shaking pod can be replaced with a much safer and more stable spinning wheel or cylinder. Cueball concedes this argument, but reveals that the ship has already been built, launched, and is in operation, so the crew is stuck with the shaking pod setup. Apparently, nobody pointed out that there was a much better approach during the mission development.

A shaking spaceship design would create an experience of gravity for the crew — just a very unpleasant one. When the capsule accelerates "up" (from the point of view of the picture), the crew will feel a gravity-like force pulling them "down" against the capsule 'floor'. However when the capsule accelerates "down", the crew will find themselves thrown against what was the 'ceiling' of the capsule, but has now suddenly become the 'floor', in an experience similar to falling several metres. The direction of this artificial "gravity" will keep alternating as long as the capsule keeps shaking. This will result in the crew not only repeatedly falling against one surface or the other, but also at a variable apparent gravity as the capsule's lateral velocity changes. This might make their life onboard ship, which could (otherwise) be expected to last for many years, somewhat unpleasant.{{citation needed}}

This shaking system would also be wasteful of energy, since there would be losses due to friction at the joints between modules, as well as the energy costs of changing the motion of the crew module relative to the rest of the structure. In contrast, a rotating structure freely floating in a weightless environment tends to retain its motion, with negligible losses due to interactions with other bodies.

The title text discusses the form of bone density loss known as {{w|spaceflight osteopenia}}, caused by gravity loss. This 'loss' is a reduction in mass, not a reduction in number. Nonetheless, in this scenario the speaker claims that "the number of bones in each crew member has been steadily increasing". This is because the shaking, and subsequent multiple impacts, are fragmenting the crew members' bones. The broken pieces of bone are then being counted as bones in their own right and increasing the effective count, without telling if the pod's awkward configuration has done anything to reduce bone ''mass'' loss. This bone situation might not be ideal for a long interplanetary or interstellar trip.{{cn}}

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Ponytail are standing near a blueprint of a spacecraft with strap on boosters, with Cueball pointing at the blueprint. In place of conventional conical fairing, this spacecraft has a large mechanical arm on the nose. The arm is holding an egg-shaped capsule. Two semi-transparent drawings of the arm and the capsule are depicted on either side of it with speed streaks in between, implying shaking back and forth motion of the arm. There is illegible text on the top left the bottom right and the bottom right text is in box.]
:Cueball: To produce artificial gravity during the voyage, the crew capsule is kept in constant motion.
:Ponytail: Wouldn't it make more sense to spin it instead of shaking it, so the acceleration is steadier?
:Cueball: ...Listen. You, I, and the crew all wish we'd thought of that before launch.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Space]]

3169: EPIRBs

2026-06-16T22:50:59Z

Ello: Citation needed

{{comic
| number = 3169
| date = November 17, 2025
| title = EPIRBs
| image = epirbs_2x.png
| imagesize = 317x386px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Oh no, the box is drifting out into the harbor!' 'Yeah, I wouldn't worry about losing it.'
}}

==Explanation==

An {{w|emergency position-indicating radio beacon}} (EPIRB) is a maritime safety device that, when it comes in contact with water, sends a distress signal via satellite. This signal is detected by search and rescue organizations such as the {{w|United States Coast Guard}} so that they can dispatch a rescue team. An EPIRB's purpose is to automatically notify such authorities of emergencies at sea, such as a ship sinking when it is out of range of normal radio communications and/or where those affected may not be able to reliably communicate their plight and correct location.

In the comic [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] accidentally drop a box {{w|CT#Other uses|containing}} 1,600 EPIRBs into the water while moving it across a gangway between a ship and a dock. Because EPIRBs automatically activate when immersed in water, and apparently the crate contains fully enabled units not otherwise held within waterproof packaging, the result would be 1,600 simultaneous signals of a ship sinking. In reality, though, EPIRBs usually require some sort of pre-activation and would not be in an operable state when packaged in transit and prior to sale or installation on a vessel. The text beneath the comic is them calling the Coast Guard to apologize for the overwhelming flood of signals. It appears this is not the first such call they have made, though it is unclear whether they have called multiple times to apologise for the same incident, or they are habitually careless in their handling of these packages.

The automatic nature of EPIRBs could allow such an overload if a package of them were dropped in water, and it would cause difficulty for a search and rescue group to receive so many signals at once. Not only that, but Cueball and Megan would likely be fired for gross negligence, causing severe financial penalties (which can be as much as $5,000 an hour for rescue assets, potentially reaching hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars for a major incident), safety violations, disruption of operations and legal consequences like significant civil fines and even criminal penalties if the actions were deemed willful or due to a reckless disregard for safety and the law.

It is very unlikely the Coast Guard would mount a full search and rescue response. Seeing 1,600 simultaneous signals inside of a port, potentially even reporting a position on land given how close they are to the dock, would make it immediately clear the signals were some kind of mistake or glitch.{{cn}} If this is a major port the Coast Guard could just look out the window to confirm that hundreds of ships are not sinking in the harbor at once.{{citation needed}} However, the massive flood of signals could affect the response to other, legitimate, emergencies by overwhelming the communications channels. Sources{{acn}} suggest that each satellite can handle 10 to 90 beacons at once in its field of view, so 1,600 would clearly clog the bandwidth. Even if all 1,600 signals made it through, taking just a few seconds to acknowledge and clear/delete them would mean an hour or two to remove all 1,600 signals, during which time a legitimate signal could go unseen. Combining both scenarios - the system only reports 90 signals from the satellite overhead, then several minutes later, after they are cleared or a new satellite comes overhead, 90 new reports are generated and need to be cleared - could clog the reporting system for many hours.

The title text notes that, because EPIRBs continuously broadcast their location (particularly modern GPIRBs with a GPS feature to provide an actual location and not just a signal to home in on), there is no reason to worry about the box floating out of the harbor and getting lost, because (even if it ''does'' float out of the harbor) there is no risk of "losing" it - the box is essentially a {{w|N+1 Redundancy|1599+1-redundant}} self-locator.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Cueball are on a walkway between the edge of a ship and the edge of a dock. Only part of the ship can be seen to the left and on the right a single wooden pole can be seen supporting the dock. Megan is near the ship and Cueball near the dock, and there is a rolling cart between them. A large box is tumbling through the air beneath the walkway, with motion lines indicating that it has fallen off the cart. The side of the box shows an image of an EPIRB. The front of the box (facing the reader) has text on it:]
:EPIRB
:Water-activated distress beacons
:1600 CT

:[Caption below the panel:]
:"Hello, Coast Guard? We'd like to apologize once again for the 1,600 simultaneous false alarms this morning..."

==Trivia==
A search for "total number of simultaneous EPIRB signals" on Google the day after this comic returned an AI Overview bullet point of "System-wide: The overall system is designed to handle thousands of beacons globally. One source suggests a scenario of up to 1,600 simultaneous signals at the same geographic location, which authorities can manage and verify." which implies that Google's AI algorithm was reading this comic explanation page and including it in search results as a source for how EPIRBs operate.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3131: Cesium

2026-06-15T21:15:39Z

Ello: Edited alternate possibilities for ====Attracting the attention of all of the above====

{{comic
| number = 3131
| date = August 20, 2025
| title = Cesium
| image = cesium_2x.png
| imagesize = 588x298px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Someday I hope to find a way to mess up a recipe so badly that it draws the attention of the International Air Transport Association, the International Mathematical Olympiad, or the NSA.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Cesium-137}}, or Cs-137, is a radioactive {{w|isotope}} of {{w|Caesium|cesium}} (officially spelled 'caesium', internationally). This comic was posted the day after the {{w|FDA}} posted an [https://www.fda.gov/food/alerts-advisories-safety-information/fda-advises-public-not-eat-sell-or-serve-certain-imported-frozen-shrimp-indonesian-firm advisory] about frozen shrimp sourced from an Indonesian firm because {{w|2025 radioactive shrimp recall|the shrimp were contaminated by Cs-137}} for reasons that were unknown at the time of this comic's release. A sample of breaded shrimp was confirmed to have been contaminated.

Rather than being concerned about the potential health impacts, [[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] are curious about the technical details that led to this contamination. Cs-137 is normally a by-product of nuclear reactors and is occasionally used in {{w|Food_irradiation|food irradiation}}, along with other more common uses. Cueball and Megan cannot fathom how one could unintentionally contaminate shrimp with radioactive material, let alone with just one specific isotope. Cueball then comments that his biggest culinary screw-up attracted the attention of only his local fire department, likely because he set something on fire while cooking. A real-life example of seemingly-random contamination by Cs-137 was the {{w|Goiânia accident}} in Brazil.

Investigators determined that the source of the Cs-137 contamination was a smelter run by PT Peter Metal Technology that appears to have smelted a sealed Cs-137 source, releasing Cs-137 into the atmosphere 1.5 miles away from the shrimp packing plant. Full details remain unknown, but it does not appear to be a mistake on the part of the shrimp company.

The title text says that one of Cueball's (or possibly [[Randall]]'s) ambitions is to draw the attention of various organizations (the {{w|International Air Transport Association}} (IATA), {{w|International Mathematical Olympiad}} (IMO), or {{w|National Security Agency}} (NSA)) with a recipe he has butchered, either by accident or, more likely in his case, on purpose. Possessing and accidentally or intentionally releasing a radiation source like Cs-137 could get the attention of the NSA. Needless to say, it is difficult to imagine a cooking error that could be in any way brought to the attention of IATA or IMO.

A "[https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/recipe recipe]" means a set of instructions for making something, typically from various ingredients. (Such as a prescription for a pharmacist, a chemical formula, or step by step instructions to perform a procedure.) Cooking recipes are a very common example of chemical processing instructions. To "mess up a recipe", in the sense of cooking it for oneself or a small group of others, would be unlikely to create a problem on a scale that an international agency would take note of. A recipe that was published for others to use could cause more significant problems if it led to harm to many people. This might involve ingredients that were poisonous, or preparation methods that were unsafe.

A particularly ill-considered thing is sometimes referred to as "a recipe for disaster". A number of these might be of interest to security agencies.

===How to attract attention===
====Attracting the attention of the IATA====
If the recipe is used in major airports and the recipe is contaminated with a drug, the pilots that consume it could experience vision loss or other problems, and if this recipe is widely used and normal people won't notice much besides minor side effects or negative effect was widespread enough where it affected very many flights, then this could attract the attention of the IATA in its primary role of a trade organisation. As a similar example, some airlines have mandated that the captain and first officer eat meals prepared in different kitchens in order to decrease the likelihood that they would both develop food poisoning severe enough to prevent either of them from being able to fly and land the plane. Not all airlines have these mandates, but a food poisoning incident like in ''{{w|Zero Hour!}}'' would likely prompt IATA to institute this policy for all of its members, especially if it ended in a fatal crash. Variations of this concept could even fall under its guidances for how to transport hazardous goods.

Another possibility would be to cook a soufflé so high and fluffy that it reaches airspace (like weather balloons sometimes do), or to sauté something that is very smoky, such as chili peppers, so that the smoke interferes with airspace (like the eruption of the volcano {{w|Eyjafjallajökull}}), or rig up a pressure cooker to shoot pasta sauce out of its release valve. or use the jet engine to pluck chickens. Rather than IATA, though, some of these may first and foremost be issues primarily investigated by the {{w|Federal Aviation Administration}}, instead, at least if occurring within the environs of the United States.

====Attracting the attention of the NSA====
There could be a secret code hidden in the ingredients of a recipe, and if the code affects the whole nation, this could attract the attention of the NSA. However, a much harder way is to have a similar incident with the shrimp, but at a much larger scale and possibly affecting a lot of different foods, if this threat is big enough, the NSA will investigate if there are people purposely doing this.

The NSA could also be a interpreted as the UK's {{w|National Sheep Association}}. In this case, all that would be needed would be to mess up a recipe so that it poisons a large amount of British sheep.

====Attracting the attention of the International Mathematical Olympiad====
A recipe to attract the attention of the IMO is much harder to imagine. Randall's best chance might be to cause an incident with some mathematically interesting property that inspires a math puzzle to be written about it. Another possibility is some person is trying to give answers to a person in the Olympiad by giving the person a recipe with the answers as a secret code inside, thus attracting the attention of the IMO. Causing food poisoning at a math Olympiad would likely attract the attention of the IMO, though that would require working for the IMO as a caterer or at some restaurant near the location where the Olympiad is held. However, these are most probably all on purpose or would be not allowed to be served for reasons unrelated to IMO and it would be very unusual to accidentally make these recipes. About a week prior to the publication of this comic, [https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/math-question-viral-elementary-school-bobby-seagull-b2807395.html a botched "math exercise" about baking that lacked an actual question] went viral and was reported on by traditional media, but it happened at an elementary school, completely unrelated to the IMO.

Alternatively, in the process of preparing the recipe, Randall might find a way to develop a new form of geometry, topology, etc. which overturns long-held beliefs in mathematics. Accidentally doing something like that (say, proving [[2939: Complexity Analysis|P=NP]], like when [[704: Principle of Explosion|Cueball derived his friend's mom's phone number]]) is common in XKCD.

====Attracting the attention of all of the above====
To attract the attention of IATA, NSA, and the IMO, it would be very difficult. You could make a meal that is fed to IMO participants, airline pilots, and has a secret national level code inside, that is slightly contaminated (to not raise suspicion beforehand). This would be very hard but possible and will attract the attention of all 3.

A pharmacy or chemical supplier messing up a chemical recipe and dispensing the wrong medication could affect people from the NSA, IATA and IMO, and thus attract attention from all three.

You could also stand outside all of their headquarters’ and make a big racket, thus recieving attention from all of them, though not necessarily at the same time.

Another possibility is a potion that would make sheep baa math questions in Morse code to airplanes over radio.

==Transcript==
:[Megan looks at a news story on her phone while talking with Cueball. Cueball is looking at Megan]
:Megan: There's a recall of frozen shrimp contaminated with cesium-137.
:Cueball: With ''what?''
:Megan: I know, right?
:Cueball: ''How!?''

:[Megan has put her phone away and she shrugs with her arms held out palm up, looking at Cueball.]
:Megan: No idea, but I bet it involved some expensive equipment. Those cesium sources aren't cheap.
:Cueball: Man.

:[Megan stands normally while Cueball holds a hand to his chin, looking down.]
:Megan: It's honestly a little inspiring to realize that it's always possible to screw up in a totally new way.
:Cueball: Yeah, the biggest agency whose attention '''''I've''''' drawn by messing up a recipe is the local fire department.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Math]]

3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-15T21:06:10Z

Ello: Citation needed

{{comic
| number = 3257
| date = June 10, 2026
| title = Beam Pipe
| image = beam_pipe_2x.png
| imagesize = 309x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was found with a Physics Nobel Prize. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
When a liquid is flowing within a tube, the pressure at any point is determined by an equilibrium between the supply pressure and the forces that restrict flow, such as friction with the walls and hydrodynamic effects in the liquid. If the tube is short and the outflow opening is large, the pressure within the tube is close to the exterior pressure (air pressure, in the case of a liquid flowing into air). If the outflow opening is negligible, the pressure within the tube is essentially equal to the pressure of the liquid's supply. If the tube is constructed of an elastic material, it will expand until an equilibrium is reached between the internal pressure and the elastic stretch of the tube... unless the pressure is enough to rupture the tube.

In the case of a hose carrying water, if the exit is fully open, the water pressure near the exit will be moderate: greater than atmospheric pressure, but less than the full pressure of the water supply. The more the exit is restricted, such as by part covering it with a thumb, decreasing the water flow, the closer the pressure near the exit will come to the full pressure of the water supply. (In the limiting case where the exit is fully blocked, the hose will essentially be an extension of the plumbing, and its internal pressure will be that of the water supply, as modified by the gravitational effects of raising or lowering the hose, and the weight of the water). If the hose is elastic (e.g. the usual garden-hose reinforced rubber), it's possible to see it stretch as the nozzle is restricted. Covering it with a thumb, while reducing the water flow, allows the water that does come out to do so at relatively high pressure.

As the {{w|Large Hadron Collider|LHC}} can be considered a sort of "pipe" (a beam pipe, as pointed out in the comic title), this comic makes the ridiculous assumption that the same logic applies there — that its beam can be concentrated and redirected by partially covering the end of the beam with a thumb. This wouldn't work in real life: water molecules are moving at low speed and thus do not have sufficient energy to overcome the electrostatic repulsion between their electrons and those of the thumb, forcing them to change path. In contrast the kinetic energy of the particles in the LHC (14 TeV) is far far larger than the repulsion of the thumb. Most particles will pass through unaffected, while those hitting thumb nuclei directly will produce a cascade of new particles similar to those the LHC is intended to produce.

While there is no recorded case of a human getting struck by the particle beam at LHC, {{w|Anatoli Bugorski|Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski}} did accidentally hold his head into the proton beam of a 76 GeV (about 180 times less than the energies at the LHC) particle accelerator while trying to repair a faulty part. This had severe but not lethal consequences: the resulting acute radiation sickness caused the affected parts of his face to swell and the skin to flake off, The affected nerves never recovered, leaving the left side of his face paralysed and his left ear deaf. The damage to his brain resulted in several epileptic seizures, but did not affect him otherwise, allowing him to continue his work as a physicist, and at time of publication he was still alive at the age of 82.

Thus while pointless, holding the thumb into the LHC beam is unlikely to significantly harm anyone trying it. At any rate, this wouldn't work in real life: the relativistic particles would not behave as a liquid. Also, because the LHC's beam operates in an extremely high vacuum, and the LHC doesn't have any structure to let the beam exit the main accelerator ring, it would be impossible even to test the concept.

The title text expands the joke, once more treating the LHC as if it were a hosepipe. Applying the effect above to a hosepipe is a common thing for children to do — often to spray family and friends with the pressurized water. This applies the same logic to the LHC, imagining the mother of "physics" (the science, as opposed to a person) telling off their presumably adult child for "spraying their colleagues with the beam" — something very incomprehensible in real life.{cn}

A variety of devices are marketed to increase the pressure of water supplied to them. The {{w|pressure washing|pressure washer}} is a common example; it uses electrical power to add force to the output water. There are also scams based on devices that supposedly increase the output water pressure ''without'' using any externally-provided power, but this is a physical impossibility. The force of the water coming out can't be greater than the force of the water coming in, or a perpetual-motion device could be constructed with the water running in a loop and the added force being tapped to power a generator. At most, the output pressure will be the same as that of the water supply, in the limiting case of zero flow, less any frictional losses within the device.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A picture shows a (partly obscured by the panel) particle accelerator (namely this one being the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Megan is shown on a stepladder, covering the beam pipe with her thumb. Cueball is shown standing behind the ladder, watching.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:This year's physics Nobel will go to the scientists who figured out that you could make the Large Hadron Collider more powerful by covering part of the beam pipe with your thumb.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]

1445: Efficiency

2026-06-07T19:19:21Z

Ello: Added Trivia

{{comic
| number = 1445
| date = November 10, 2014
| title = Efficiency
| image = efficiency.png
| titletext = I need an extension for my research project because I spent all month trying to figure out whether learning Dvorak would help me type it faster.
}}

==Explanation==
There are often multiple ways in which to deal with a problem or task. There may be a ''most efficient'' method, though sometimes the differences in efficiency between methods is only slight. People often try to save unnecessary work by first determining which is the "best" method - either the easiest or the most efficient. This can be a good approach, particularly where the savings prove to be significant. But it can also prove to be more time-consuming than just doing the task using one of the most obvious methods. The comic humorously exaggerates this.

One method of trying to determine the best way of performing a task is to perform {{w|A/B testing}} where a trial is performed where the two strategies, A and B, are implemented and compared. Often the two strategies are simple to implement (for instance, two versions of a web page with different text and colours to determine which provides the better rate of click through) and therefore the amount of time required to implement the strategies (the "time cost") could easily be considerably less than the time to determine if the results are statistically significant.

The title text references a supposed incident in which [[Randall]] did not commence writing a research paper because he spent the entire assignment period deciding whether to learn an entirely different keyboard layout just to potentially be slightly more efficient in his typing speed. It refers to the {{w|Dvorak Simplified Keyboard|Dvorak}} keyboard layout, an alternative to the most commonly accepted {{w|QWERTY}} layout. Some believe the Dvorak keyboard offers greater typing efficiency. Efficiency of the Dvorak keyboard layout was mentioned in the title text of [[561: Well]], where it was stated that it was not more effective, and by now it has become a [[:Category:Dvorak|recurrent theme]] on xkcd.

Other comics about spending too many resources on decisions that ultimately might not matter include [[309: Shopping Teams]] and [[1801: Decision Paralysis]]. Several other comics address similarly wasted time due to bad time management; see for instance [[1205: Is It Worth the Time?]] or the [[:Category:Time management|Time management]] category.

==Transcript==
:[A bar chart is shown below its title:]
:<big>'''Time Cost'''</big>

:[The chart consist of a dividing line, with three labels to the left, and the three black bars to the right. The first two bars are short, the second slightly longer than the first. The last bar is much longer, about 13 time as long as the first shortest bar.]
:Strategy A
:Strategy B
:Analyzing whether strategy A or B is more efficient

:[Caption below the panel:]
:The reason I am so inefficient

==Trivia==
In the graph, the bar for Strategy A is slightly shorter than that of Strategy B, indicating that Strategy A is actually more efficient.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Bar charts]]
[[Category:Time management]]
[[Category:Dvorak]]
[[Category:Scientific research]]

1435: Presidential Alert

2026-06-07T19:06:29Z

Ello: Citation needed

{{comic
| number = 1435
| date = October 17, 2014
| title = Presidential Alert
| image = presidential_alert.png
| titletext = When putting his kids to bed, after saying 'Goodnight', Obama has to stop himself from saying 'God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.'
}}
[[File:Eas_new.svg|thumb|150px|Current EAS logo]]
==Explanation==
The {{w|Emergency Alert System}} allows the U.S. President to address the country in the event of a national emergency, by broadcasting a message over all television and radio channels. Despite systems like this having existed for over 60 years, no president has ever used it, even during major incidents like the {{w|September 11 attacks}}. In this comic, the US President accidentally activates the system by pressing a button, apparently located on the {{w|Resolute Desk|''Resolute'' Desk}} in the {{w|Oval Office}}. Surprised by being on television, he tries to think of something important to say on the spot, but cannot think of anything other than a piece of generic dental-hygiene advice – a rather non-urgent message.{{cn}}

The concept of the President mistakenly hitting an important button has long been a source for jokes, often somewhat morbidly involving the {{w|nuclear football}}.

The title text references the typical conclusion to presidential speeches: "Goodnight, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America," or some variation thereof. As "goodnight" is the typical conclusion to a day, the title text jokes that {{w|Barack Obama|President Obama}}, out of habit, has a hard time stopping at goodnight when saying that to his children. It might also be implying that the president that sent the message might actually be Barack Obama.

==Transcript==
:[Television beeping.]
:Screen reads: "E.A.S Incoming Presidential Alert"

:[President of the United States of America in his office is on the television.]
:My fellow Americans. I, uhhh. Wow.

:Frankly, I didn't realize what this button did. I was just... I mean...
:I appear before you tonight to, um.

:Look, uhh...
:Remember to floss regularly. Oral hygiene is important. Thank you.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]

1421: Future Self

2026-06-07T18:41:14Z

Ello: Fixed discussion placement

{{comic
| number = 1421
| date = September 15, 2014
| title = Future Self
| image = future_self.png
| titletext = Maybe I haven't been to Iceland because I'm busy dealing with YOUR crummy code.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a joke about how the person you were in the past can be viewed as a distinct entity from who you are now, as well as the predictability of future events relating to your future actions.

The comic shows comments, informational notes left in the code that do not change the algorithm, from a project completed by [[Cueball]] some time ago that is still being used and maintained. It is implied that Cueball is looking at these comments because the algorithm, a parsing function, is no longer working. These comments were written by Cueball's "younger self" in anticipation of being read by his "older self" at a date close to the present. The function has held up to the younger Cueball's expectations as it has lasted until the publication date of this comic, September 2014. The comments indicate a firm belief that the parsing function could not be easily "re-kludged" to handle the new situation but instead would need to be re-written.
These comments are surprisingly accurate, leading Cueball to rhetorically reply to his younger self that these comments were creepy. Cueball's "younger self" must have anticipated a snarky reply and reminded his older self that his older self has likely not fulfilled his dream of going to Iceland. Cueball again replies that his younger self should stop judging him.

In the title text, current-day Cueball lashes out at his younger self, further emphasizing the way he is viewing his past self as a different person, blaming the ineffectiveness of his past self's coding for never going to Iceland, even though the effectiveness of his past code has no correlation with being able to travel, unless he had to fix the code for a project, ruining the time space he had to travel, or his code helped him plan his trips.

A comment is a line, or a portion of a line, of code which should not be executed. A number of computer languages, including [[353: Python|Python]], use "#" to indicate "the remainder of this line is a comment". The comment symbol tells the compiler to skip to the next line, ignoring everything after the symbol. Programmers make use of comments to leave notes about what a particular line or section of code is meant to do, places that require debugging, ideas for future revisions, etc.

The language in the comments is similar to how people address themselves in personal {{w|Time capsule|time capsules}}, in which they put letters away to read years later to see how much they've changed.

A "{{w|Parsing#Parser|parse}} {{w|Subroutine|function}}" is code that interprets some form of input and makes sense of it in a way that enables functionality in some other part of the code. Parsers are commonly used to extract useful information from a source external to the algorithm.
Often parsing functions are written using {{w|Regular expression|regular expressions}} or in some other {{w|write-only language}} style. Parsing can be a difficult problem to solve, and programmers will often take shortcuts (perform {{w|kludge|kludges}}) based on assumptions on the kinds of input that the parsing function will have to handle, or possibly code through means of trial-and-error.
As the programmer may not have control over the input, such as reading a page from someone else's web-site or using the output of an unpredictable program, an input that does not match the assumed input syntax in can cause the parser to break, even if the parsing function has not changed.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting at a laptop, reading code. The two separate parts of code as well as the two comments by Cueball is connected with "speak" lines, with the line from the code going down to the computer screen.]

:<nowiki>#</nowiki> Dear Future Self,
:<nowiki>#</nowiki>
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> You're looking at this file because
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> the parse function finally broke.
:<nowiki>#</nowiki>
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> It's not fixable. You have to rewrite it.
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> Sincerely, Past Self

:Cueball: Dear Past Self, it's kinda creepy how you do that.

:<nowiki>#</nowiki> Also, it's probably at least
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> 2013. Did you ever take
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> that trip to Iceland?

:Cueball: Stop judging me!

==Trivia==
The lid and base of Cueball's laptop are disproportionate, with the lid being significantly longer than the base. This would make closing the laptop extremely frustrating.{{cn}}
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Programming]]

1421: Future Self

2026-06-07T18:40:23Z

Ello: Added trivia section

{{comic
| number = 1421
| date = September 15, 2014
| title = Future Self
| image = future_self.png
| titletext = Maybe I haven't been to Iceland because I'm busy dealing with YOUR crummy code.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a joke about how the person you were in the past can be viewed as a distinct entity from who you are now, as well as the predictability of future events relating to your future actions.

The comic shows comments, informational notes left in the code that do not change the algorithm, from a project completed by [[Cueball]] some time ago that is still being used and maintained. It is implied that Cueball is looking at these comments because the algorithm, a parsing function, is no longer working. These comments were written by Cueball's "younger self" in anticipation of being read by his "older self" at a date close to the present. The function has held up to the younger Cueball's expectations as it has lasted until the publication date of this comic, September 2014. The comments indicate a firm belief that the parsing function could not be easily "re-kludged" to handle the new situation but instead would need to be re-written.
These comments are surprisingly accurate, leading Cueball to rhetorically reply to his younger self that these comments were creepy. Cueball's "younger self" must have anticipated a snarky reply and reminded his older self that his older self has likely not fulfilled his dream of going to Iceland. Cueball again replies that his younger self should stop judging him.

In the title text, current-day Cueball lashes out at his younger self, further emphasizing the way he is viewing his past self as a different person, blaming the ineffectiveness of his past self's coding for never going to Iceland, even though the effectiveness of his past code has no correlation with being able to travel, unless he had to fix the code for a project, ruining the time space he had to travel, or his code helped him plan his trips.

A comment is a line, or a portion of a line, of code which should not be executed. A number of computer languages, including [[353: Python|Python]], use "#" to indicate "the remainder of this line is a comment". The comment symbol tells the compiler to skip to the next line, ignoring everything after the symbol. Programmers make use of comments to leave notes about what a particular line or section of code is meant to do, places that require debugging, ideas for future revisions, etc.

The language in the comments is similar to how people address themselves in personal {{w|Time capsule|time capsules}}, in which they put letters away to read years later to see how much they've changed.

A "{{w|Parsing#Parser|parse}} {{w|Subroutine|function}}" is code that interprets some form of input and makes sense of it in a way that enables functionality in some other part of the code. Parsers are commonly used to extract useful information from a source external to the algorithm.
Often parsing functions are written using {{w|Regular expression|regular expressions}} or in some other {{w|write-only language}} style. Parsing can be a difficult problem to solve, and programmers will often take shortcuts (perform {{w|kludge|kludges}}) based on assumptions on the kinds of input that the parsing function will have to handle, or possibly code through means of trial-and-error.
As the programmer may not have control over the input, such as reading a page from someone else's web-site or using the output of an unpredictable program, an input that does not match the assumed input syntax in can cause the parser to break, even if the parsing function has not changed.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting at a laptop, reading code. The two separate parts of code as well as the two comments by Cueball is connected with "speak" lines, with the line from the code going down to the computer screen.]

:<nowiki>#</nowiki> Dear Future Self,
:<nowiki>#</nowiki>
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> You're looking at this file because
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> the parse function finally broke.
:<nowiki>#</nowiki>
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> It's not fixable. You have to rewrite it.
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> Sincerely, Past Self

:Cueball: Dear Past Self, it's kinda creepy how you do that.

:<nowiki>#</nowiki> Also, it's probably at least
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> 2013. Did you ever take
:<nowiki>#</nowiki> that trip to Iceland?

:Cueball: Stop judging me!
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Programming]]

==Trivia==
The lid and base of Cueball's laptop are disproportionate, with the lid being significantly longer than the base. This would make closing the laptop extremely frustrating.{{cn}}

3192: Planetary Alignment

2026-06-07T05:05:03Z

Ello: Citation needed

{{comic
| number = 3192
| date = January 9, 2026
| title = Planetary Alignment
| image = planetary_alignment_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x327px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We're going to need to modify the surface to mount it on the test stand. Which ocean basin do you like the least?
}}

==Explanation==
This is the third in a [[:Category:Home Inspections|series of comics]] about [[Ponytail]] inspecting Earth as if it were the client [[Cueball]]'s house.

[[Ponytail]] (presumably a planetary mechanic, which is not a real thing){{Citation needed}} appears to have been inspecting a planet, which seems to be the Earth, as if it were a vehicle. She is informing [[Cueball]] of the results, as if he were the owner of the planet.

According to her, the planet needs to be re-aligned, as the {{w|Earth's magnetic field|magnetic}} and {{w|Earth's rotation|rotational}} axes of the planet are 400 miles (640 km) offset from each other. She claims that this could create a number of problems with the planet, such as unbalanced magnetic fields. This is presented in the same casual manner as a car mechanic might regarding {{w|wheel alignment}}, or perhaps even the {{w|tire balance}}. Earth's magnetic alignment does change (both {{w|Geomagnetic pole#Movement|gradually drifting}} and {{w|Geomagnetic reversal|relatively sudden reversals}}), but not for any reasons that can be compared to typical vehicle maintenance issues.{{cn}}

Ponytail mentions radiation anomalies over the South Atlantic ocean. This is a real phenomenon, known as the {{w|South Atlantic Anomaly}}, where satellites experience increased malfunctions because solar radiation is higher than average, due to the alignment of the magnetic field, as well as {{w|Large low-shear-velocity provinces|a massive rock structure underneath Africa}}.

In the final panel, Ponytail says that they will provide a loaner planet while Earth is in the shop. This is typically done with vehicles, not planets,{{Citation needed}} but perhaps this particular shop has a [https://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio3.htm very large back room]. Ponytail then asks if a gas giant is okay, as they are out of solid surface planets. This is likely alluding to the practice of car dealerships offering replacements or loaner vehicles that are very different from those brought in for service, which can greatly frustrate and inconvenience the customer.

The title text continues the mechanic metaphor, stating that they (the shop) will have to modify Earth to fit it on the test stand, asking Cueball which ocean basin he likes the least, implying that they intend to remove or alter one of the Earth's oceans to mount it for adjustment and retesting.

This is the second comic in recent history with the word "Alignment" in the title, with [[3177: Chessboard Alignment]] being the first.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail is approaching from off-screen, holding a clipboard and some sort of handheld apparatus. She is talking to Cueball, standing to the right.]
:Ponytail: The inspection revealed a few problems.
:Ponytail: Looks like your planet needs an alignment.
:Cueball: Oh?

:[Close up of Ponytail.]
:Ponytail: Yeah, your magnetic axis is 400 miles off-center from your rotational one.
:Cueball (off-panel): Is that bad?

:[The view zooms back out, showing Ponytail holding her equipment, with Cueball holding a hand to his face, as if thinking.]
:Ponytail: The unbalanced magnetic field could cause radiation anomalies over the South Atlantic. Have you noticed any spacecraft equipment failures in that area?
:Cueball: There '''''have''''' been a few, actually.

:[The final panel shows the same as the third, apart from Cueball's gestures.]
:Ponytail: We can give you a loaner while yours is in the shop. Is a gas giant OK?
:Cueball: I'd '''''really''''' prefer a solid surface.
:Ponytail: Sorry, it's all we have. But it'll just be for a few days.

{{comic discussion}}
<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Home Inspections]]

3190: Tensegrity

2026-06-07T05:01:05Z

Ello: Citation needed

{{comic
| number = 3190
| date = January 5, 2026
| title = Tensegrity
| image = tensegrity_2x.png
| imagesize = 260x352px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Some people argue that the tension and compression in the human skeleton is technically tensegrity, but it's missing the defining characteristic: making people say 'wtf, how is that thing floating?' when they see it.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Tensegrity}} structures are structures that are suspended using a combination of rigid and compressional components, usually a series of rods and cords that give the illusion of a floating object held down by the cords, which subverts people's expectations about what is physically possible. [[wikipedia:Buckminster Fuller|Buckminster Fuller]] coined the term [[wikipedia:Tensegrity|tensegrity]] from the words "tensional integrity" ([https://doi.org/10.7556%2Fjaoa.2013.113.1.34 see here]), and Steve Mould describes the mechanism in [https://youtu.be/0onncd0_0-o?si=-S-QMrZffi9L06ky this video].

[[Randall]] makes the claim that there are animals which use tensegrity in their anatomy, naming the (fictional) "Buckminster's Giraffe" as an example. The panel shows the legs of the {{w|giraffe}} using a structure similar to that of a tensegrity table. Some people consider the giraffe to be an example of a body form that appears to defy their expectations of biophysical laws because of their unusually long legs and neck as compared to the body.

[https://www.physio-pedia.com/Biotensegrity Biotensegrity] does study the role that tensegrity plays in living organisms, such as plants and animals. However, this is at cellular level, rather than the macroscopic level shown in the comic.

The title text points out that it can be argued that humans (and other vertebrates) use tensegrity in our anatomy, since we're held up by the combination of compression in our bones and tension in our muscles. Randall, however, argues that this misses the "defining characteristic" of a tensegrity structure, which is that the mechanism support isn't immediately obvious, causing the structure to appear as though it is "floating" to a casual or uninformed observer (and making them wonder ''how'' it is floating until they learn about or self-construe the nature of tensegrity). Humans, thanks to our skin and other various layers, outwardly look like a single solid structure,{{cn}} making the tensional forces less obvious and less impressive.

==Transcript==

:[Cueball stands at the left of the panel, and at the right is a giraffe-like animal whose legs appear to be made of a tensegrity structure, with disconnected segments held together by strings]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:While tensegrity is rare in the animal kingdom, a few species, such as Buckminster's Giraffe, are known to employ it.

==Trivia==
*While this comic was up the [[header text]] changed back to the [[Header_text#2025-01-07_-_Back_to_standard_text|standard header text]] for the first time in 4 years.
**It was also the first time in more than 13 months that the header text changed at all, with the previous change occurring on [[Header_text#2024-12-05_-_Special_10th_anniversary_edition_of_WHAT_IF.3F_-_order|2024-12-05]].
**There had thus been promotion for the new Special 10th anniversary edition of WHAT IF? for more than 1.5 years, and for [[what if? (blog)|what if?]] in general for more than 4 years.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Engineering]]
[[Category:Giraffes]]

3255: Planetary Science

2026-06-06T23:58:29Z

Ello: Citation needed for life on Earth existing

{{comic
| number = 3255
| date = June 5, 2026
| title = Planetary Science
| image = planetary_science_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x388px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The research was overseen by the Institutional Review Board, which is what I named my surfboard.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This comic was found on a planet with internet on it!}}
This comic is presented as a scientific article in which astronomers claim to have discovered "evidence for liquid water on the surface of a {{w|terrestrial planet}} in the {{w|habitable zone}}" -- however, as the accompanying photos (four people on a beach, of whom two are sitting under an umbrella and one is making sand castles) show, the planet in question is {{w|Earth}}. This would not be considered a noteworthy discovery.{{cn}} Finding other planets that have liquid water is a notable result, as water is necessary to support Earth-like life, so a planet with water could possibly have life on it. However, we already know about life on Earth existing,{{cn}} so this article is hardly useful or practical.

There is value in using Earth as an example of a planet in a habitable zone, such as [https://www.nasa.gov/universe/atacama-rover-astrobiology-drilling-studies-arads/ testing life-detection experiments in remote inhospitable environments] or [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-would-we-know-theres-life-on-earth-this-bold-experiment-found-out/ as a proxy for future astronomical observations], but not in-situ photographic investigation. Maybe the astronomers should have brought their {{w|spectrometer}} on vacation.

An {{w|institutional review board}} is a committee of researchers which ensures that research carried out at their institution is ethical. In the title text, this is referenced to be the literal name of a {{w|surfboard}}, which is a board used for the recreational activity of {{w|surfing}}, not serious academic activities. Presumably one of the researchers used this as an excuse to post their pictures of a surfing holiday. Of course, 'the Institutional Review Board' is a very strange name for a surfboard,{{Citation needed}} and its only purpose would be for this (somewhat bad) excuse.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[An article from a journal is shown.]
:[Title of journal article:] Evidence for Liquid Water on the Surface of a Terrestrial Planet in the Habitable Zone
:[Below the title are four lines of blurred text presumably representing the name of the author or authors and their affiliations. Below that, the text of the article is blurred, displayed in two columns. There are three sections of blurred text each with a blurred boldface heading. Two pictures are included amid the blurred text. The picture in the left column shows the sea running alongside a beach. The picture in the right column shows Jill and Kidball playing at the beach, with Jill running and Kidball building a sandcastle, while Cueball and Megan are sitting under a beach umbrella watching them.]
:[Caption below the article:]
:Planetary science journals have asked astronomers to please stop submitting their vacation photos.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Kidball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Jill]]
[[Category:Scientific research]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2836: A Halloween Carol

2026-06-03T21:27:09Z

Ello: Typo

{{comic
| number = 2836
| date = October 2, 2023
| title = A Halloween Carol
| image = a_halloween_carol_2x.png
| imagesize = 639x245px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = [after a minute] "Okay, I think I've got it, thanks. Can I--" "oOOOooOOooo!"
}}

==Explanation==

In the classic and widely-adapted Charles Dickens story ''{{w|A Christmas Carol}}'', the protagonist of the tale is visited by various ghosts, first that of his old business partner and then (successively) the spirits of Christmases Past, Present and Yet To Come. Their purpose is to rehabilitate him from his anti-Christmas ways of apathy, indifference and general cruelty to the weak and poor. By their intervention they generally improve his humanity and spiritual future by showing him how he came to be this way (Past), how he is seen right now (Present) and what his future would be if he continues down that road (Yet to Come), and thus rekindling his capability of love, humility, and kindness.

In this case, however, three {{w|Halloween}}-style ghosts arrive as a spoof of that tale. They represent similar phases of the actual festival of Halloween, but have turned up to pester Cueball in his bed all at the same time. And the 'lesson' they convey to him is far less transformative in nature. Since the ghosts say nothing more than minor variations of "oOOOOOOOOo," the lesson may be that Halloween has no "true meaning" other than what is obvious (compare [[1108: Cautionary Ghost]]), or that the true meaning of Halloween consists merely of the kind of silly "scariness" represented by the sound "oOOOOOOOOo". Additionally, since Halloween is typically represented by ghosts, the ghosts only have to exist as themselves to spread the "true meaning of Halloween" (as opposed to the various Ghosts of Christmas, as Christmas is not so directly associated with ghosts).

Caroling, though these days almost exclusively associated with Christmas, had long been a term for festive songs and dances. Arguably, it is largely through Dickens's use as his story title that we associate it so strongly with this particular annual festival, which might be another additional joke on [[Randall]]'s part.

A similar ghost saying "ooOOOOOOOOooo", along with much scarier things, appears in [[1393: Timeghost]].

In the title text, it would appear that the very simple message has been received and taken to heart, but the apparitions feel the need to continue their haunting regardless. This is something that might be further associated with Halloween, because annoyingness is a staple of Halloween (as it is of life in general).

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is half sitting up in bed, his lower body underneath the blankets. He is looking at three ghosts flying above him.]
:Middle ghost: ooOOOOOooOOOoo
:[The "ooooo" of the ghosts is written in wavy letters of varying sizes]
:Middle ghost: We are the ghosts of halloween past, present and future

:[Just the middle ghost]
:Ghost: Here to teach you the true meaning of halloween!

:[Back to the full scene]
:Left ghost: ooOOOOOOOooo
:Middle ghost: ooOOOOOooo

:[Again, the full scene]
:Left ghost: ooooooOOOooOooo
:Right ghost: ooOoooOOOoooo

==Trivia==
* '''This trivia section was created by a BOT'''
* The [https://web.archive.org/web/20231002191222/https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/a_halloween_carol.png standard size] image was uploaded with a resolution/size larger than the supposed 2x version.
* This may have been an error.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Holidays]]
[[Category:Ghosts]]

3253: Sunbeam

2026-06-03T21:07:31Z

Ello: {{Citation needed}} in paragraph 2, "The Earth rotates"

{{comic
| number = 3253
| date = June 1, 2026
| title = Sunbeam
| image = sunbeam_2x.png
| imagesize = 398x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = While weather control is typically thought of as a superpower, the unconscious ability of astronomers and astrophotographers to summon clouds is more properly classified as a curse.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Astrophotography}} is the act of taking pictures of very distant objects. Common subjects of astrophotography include celestial bodies like planets and moons of the solar system, faraway galaxies, nebulae, spacecraft, or even {{w|Hubble Deep Field|empty patches of the sky}}.

In order to take such photos, one needs to know where these objects are in the sky. One major problem faced by Earth-based astrophotographers (most of them) is the fact that the Earth rotates.{{Citation needed}} As the Earth rotates, it creates the illusion that the celestial objects being photographed are rotating through the night sky. Therefore, in order to get clear pictures of their subjects, astrophotographers must develop a strong understanding of how objects like a galaxy or the sun move through the sky, so that their cameras can compensate for this rotation and produce clear pictures.

This understanding of how objects move through the sky due to the Earth's rotation is the minor superpower referred to in the comic. As the sun is an example of an object in the sky, the intuition of astrophotographers allows them to predict where the sun will be in the future, and by extension, where the light flooding in through the window will be in the future. With this knowledge, Cueball, who assumingly has this minor superpower, can advise his friends to sit at the far table to avoid the light from the window hitting them. Though normally extra light may be considered desirable, such direct sunlight in this case would probably be considered problematic as there may be excessive heat and/or light. By contrast, the table currently beyond the beams of sunlight would be a perfectly acceptable place to sit and would remain so. There is a chance however that it doesn't actually matter in this scenario which table to sit at, and [[Cueball]] is just saying it to show off his ability.

This comic takes place north of the Sun's current ground-track (i.e. the line through the tropics which experience the Sun being directly overhead on any given day of the year, which changes over the course of the year due to the axial tilt of the Earth). In both hemispheres, the Sun can be found rising in the east in the morning, at its highest at around midday (exactly at true local midday, but must be adjusted for timezone issues such as the [[1799: Bad Map Projection: Time Zones|offset from the nominal local datum]] and [[:Category:Daylight saving time|DST]] effects), then setting in the west in the evening. (At least until you get close enough to the poles to experience no, or barely any, day or night according to the time of year.) Therefore, typically in the subtropical and temperate latitudes of the Northern Hemisphere, a shadow (and, by being framed by shadows, the light flooding in through windows) moves in a clockwise direction, from westerly, then north, then easterly. Similarly, shadows in the Southern Hemisphere move counter-clockwise, from a western direction, via south, eventually towards east. The light from the window in the comic is predicted to move from the center to the left, a clockwise rotation, consistent with the comic being set in the Northern Hemisphere, especially as this comic has been released almost in the middle of the time of the year where this scenario happens only to places north of the equator.

(The declinated angle of the Sun through the window is hard to measure, and without even knowing the time of day we cannot hope to further narrow down the true latitude of the location and which direction the window faces. Although it is typical that, in temperate northern latitudes, major windows like the one shown are set to face as close to south as the orientation of buildings/rooms allow, to make the best use of daylight — particularly in the winter months. It is also a not unreasonable assumption that this meeting (or perhaps a meal) is occuring not long before/after noon, or even during it, with the Sun then approaching its zenith. Overall, it would be possible to see something very like this scene play out for [[Randall]] in his current home location, of around 42°N, at this time of year.)

The title text talks about another minor "superpower", that astrophotographers have, which makes clouds always seem to show up in front of the night sky. Because this "ability" is actually just coincidence,{{Citation needed}} that only appears causal to some, as well as that it interferes with their work, by ruining their photos, the title text more accurately classifies it as {{tvtropes|BlessedWithSuck|a curse}}, which is why the rest of the comic describes astrophotographers having only one "actual" superpower. Of course though, if it was a concious ability it would be more helpful, and could do a similar effect to that in the comic, by moving clouds in front of the sun to put you in shade.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.
: NOTE: This transcript is good enough that it could possibly warrant the removal of this notice, but I will let a more experienced editor decide when to remove it.}}
:[Cueball, Megan, and White Hat are in a large dark room, presumably a restaurant, with two tables and a large window, with 4 panels and a topsection. The window is casting a large sunbeam between the two tables.]
:Cueball: Let's take the far table.
:Cueball: The closer one will be in the sun soon.
:[Caption below the panel:]
:Astrophotography gives you exactly one extremely minor superpower.
{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Photography]]

1037: Umwelt

2026-05-25T05:24:17Z

Ello: Typo in "Twitter"

{{comic
| number = 1037
| date = April 1, 2012
| title = Umwelt
| image = umwelt_the_void.jpg
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 5
| date = April 1, 2012
| days_late =
| day_category = Sunday
| prev_title = 880: Headache
| prev_date = April 1, 2011
| next_title = 1193: Externalities
| next_date = April 1, 2013
| extra_text =
}}
{{TOC}}To view your personal version of the comic, visit the {{xkcd|1037|original comic}}.

==Explanation==

An {{w|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that a person's entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this April Fools' Day comic changes based on the browser, location, or referrer. Thus what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day, although only one is seen.
(The term 'Umwelt,' as mentioned in the comic, refers to the semiotic theories of Jakob von Uexküll and Thomas A. Sebeok)

Information about how the wide variety of data was collected and credit for the viewers who contributed can be found [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/rnst4/april_fools_xkcd_changing_comic/ here].

===The Void===
[[File:umwelt the void.jpg]]

If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

Possible reference to The Ring (https://imgur.com/wlGmm), as though to suggest that using an alternative browser is dismal and horrific.

Davean (xkcd's sysadmin): "[This] comic isn't available everywhere and it can come up i[n] some situation[s] only for recognized browsers."{{Actual citation needed}}

Browser: Alternative Browser

===Aurora===
[[File:umwelt aurora.png|800px]]

One could interpret that since [[Megan]] didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the {{w|Aurora}} (northern lights), [[Knit Cap]] lied about it. That way, Megan wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out. Another interpretation could be that she decides that since Megan did not even bother to go outside to see such a spectacular sight she will not tell her about it. And yet another could be that she did not think it was interesting.

Knit Cap could possibly also be red-green colorblind, seeing the green aurorae as grey "clouds". This would serve as an example for the theme of the comic, as a non-colorblind person and a colorblind person seeing the same color would perceive it differently, one seeing it as its true color, and the other seeing it without the shade of color they cannot see. If this is the case, then it would be a reference to umwelt, as Knit Cap would be living in a world where the auroras do not reach his location.

In real life, [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-northern-lights-dont-look-anything-like-they-do-in-photos_n_5500a4d9e4b0e62d0dd4f9bb aurorae are usually seen as grey/white clouds] to the naked eye, as our eyes cannot perceive the "greener" colors as well in the dark.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Locations: Canada, Boston, Indiana, Maine, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Texas, Minnesota, Norway, Denmark, France, Ireland, Rhode Island, Mississippi, Seoul (Safari), London (on Firefox), China (on Firefox and Safari), Finland (Uses "Canada"). Also in Virginia, but using Ohio in the first panel; in Wisconsin, Maryland and the Philippines, but using Canada in the first panel; in Marion, Illinois, but using Canada in the first panel along with the phrase "as far south as us" in the first panel, and in Utah, also using the phrase "as far south as us", same with Colombia, Spain, Georgia, Florida, Iowa, Washington State, Michigan, and California.

In [[1302: Year in Review]] a possibly different Megan has a completely different approach to the chance of seeing northern lights, as that was the only event she was looking forward to in 2013, and it failed. If this is the same Megan, perhaps she learned that there actually were northern lights in her area from another source, and so desperately wanted to have another chance to see them.

===Snake===
[[File:umwelt snake composite 1024.png|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt snake composite.png|Full size]]

The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest living snake is the {{w|reticulated python}}, the longest ever measuring over 22 feet (6.95 meters). The blue and orange circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel, where there is a large bulge in the snake that looks like an elephant. The Little Prince starts out by mentioning a drawing that the author made when he was six that showed an elephant inside a snake.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Specific AltText for this image: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit -from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your browser window size.

Location: Texas (on Chrome Version 33.0.1750.154 m), New Jersey, California (on Chrome Version 39.0.2171.95), Maryland, Massachusetts (Safari for iOS, Chrome version 49.0.2623.112), Connecticut (Safari for iOS, Chrome Version 73.0.3683.103, Internet Explorer and Microsoft Edge), Virginia (on Chrome), Michigan (Firefox v46.0.1), Penang (Chrome Version 65.0.3325.162), London (Microsoft Edge), Spain/Barcelona (on Brave) Germany (on Opera One (version: 106.0.4998.70)), Fruita, Colorado (on Chrome for Android version 123.0.6312.80), China (Chrome and Edge), Australia (Chrome, version 137.0.7151.56, but only in guest mode),Brazil.

===Black Hat===
[[File:umwelt tortoise 1024.png|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt tortoise.png|Full size]]

Cueball as an analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. Cueball's quote and the whole setup is a direct reference to the movie {{w|Blade Runner}} (1982) and Black Hat is taking the Voight-Kampff test which is used to identify replicants from real humans.

Black Hat's reason for not helping the tortoise is that ''it '''knows''' what it did'' and thus in Black Hat's world view it deserves being turned over. The final part of the joke is that when zooming out it turns out that there is a tortoise behind Black Hat and he has actually already turned it over for what it did.

Location: Seems to appear mostly in "other countries" — those without location-specific comics.

===Too Quiet===
[[File:umwelt too quiet 1024.png|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt too quiet.png|Full size]]

A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

Location: short version — iPhone 5c Safari browser in Texas, iPhone 5 Chrome Browser in Minnesota, long version - Google Chrome browser in Indiana, Windows 8 Laptop

===Pond===
[[File:umwelt pond mobile.png]][[File:umwelt pond wide.png]]

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

This is just showing some nice looking scenery; a mountain, lake, and a forest.

Location: The Netherlands and various other countries.

===Galaxies===
[[File:umwelt galaxies 1024.jpg|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt galaxies.jpg|Full size]]

Megan is distracted from her conversation with [[Cueball]] by realizing that the space behind his head, from her vantage point, contains millions of galaxies. This is similar to an [https://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/image/astro/hst_deep_field.jpg incredible photograph] taken by the Hubble Telescope, in which a tiny dark area of space in fact contained numerous galaxies.

The title text is an imaginative leap from this scenario: that the galaxies would be up to no good once Cueball is turned away from them.

This comic was only reported once... the intended environmental context is a mystery.

Location: unknown - sole report happened in Minnesota on Opera browser from a small ISP

===xkcd Gold===
[[File:umwelt xkcd gold.png]]

This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" or "/z/ bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

Referrer: 4chan

===Yo Mama===
[[File:umwelt dog ballast.png]]

Possible reference to Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s "{{w|Harrison Bergeron}}."

The joke is that people's different experiences shape how they perceive the world in that the people who live in this world would perceive the joke as funny, while people in our world would not get it. This is the idea of umwelt mentioned at the top of the context where different individuals perceive the world differently.

Refer: Facebook

===Reddit===
[[File:umwelt reddit.png]]

Reference to referencing, because Reddit, as a referring site, likes references to its referencing in its references.

This comic also features recursive imagery similar to [[688: Self-Description]] where the second panel embeds the entire comic within itself. (Except, conspicuously, the arrow indicating that it is "You" in the first panel.)

One of the browser tabs visible in the center panel is {{w|Elk}} on Wikipedia.

Referrer: Reddit

===Buns and Hot dogs===
[[File:umwelt somethingawful.jpg]]

This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?" , but instead it’s talking about bags of blood and ash.

Another, more sexual reference to this question can be found in [[1641: Hot Dogs]].

Referrer: SomethingAwful, Questionable Content, & MetaFilter

===Twitter===
[[File:umwelt twitter.jpg]]

A summary of the "content" typically found on Twitter.

In the tweet feed, there are three tweets about some podcast on the top, followed by the tweet containing the link they clicked on to get to the comic, tweets about Rob Delaney, unspecified passive-aggressive tweets, and a tweet from {{w|Horse_ebooks}} retweeted by one of the users the reader follows.

On the left, the topmost dialog, with profile information, shows that the user has posted 1,302 tweets, but only follows 171 people and has even fewer followers, at a measly 48. This is marked with a sad face, implying that the user wants more followers.

Below that is the "who to follow" dialog, which is written up as consisting of "assholes".

Below that is the "trending tags" dialog for the United States. It is full of tags about word games, tags about misogyny, and tags about Justin Bieber.

Below that is an unidentified dialog full of "stuff your eyes automatically ignore". And finally, on the bottom is the background color, which is "a really pleasant blue".

"Aggression" is misspelled.

Referrer: Twitter

===Wikipedia===
[[File:umwelt wikipedia wide.jpg]]
[[File:umwelt wikipedia mobile.png]]

The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have had sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic.

Two different versions shown, the narrower version (the single panel with all the text) for mobile devices.

Referrer: Wikipedia

===Google Chrome===
[[File:umwelt chrome1.jpg]]

{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

Browser: Chrome

===Chrome/Firefox===
[[File:umwelt chrome2.png]]

Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X and Linux, with a mobile version for Android and iOS, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} that fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser.

Browser: Chrome

===Google Chrome-2===
[[File:umwelt chrome3.png]]

This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece. When completing jigsaw puzzles, a common strategy is to figure out where the pieces must be from their geometry rather than from the picture they create. In this case, the text suggests that Chrome believes the puzzle piece connects to the pieces which form one of the corners of the puzzle, which may seem impossible because any piece that links up to a corner would usually have at least one flat edge, which this piece has none. However, more complicated puzzles have complex shapes and are not always simply approximate squares with tabs and blanks.

Browser: Chrome or silk on desktop view

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[[File:umwelt firefox incognito.png]]

Another reference to crashing web browsers.
Firefox shows the history when it crashes. Possibly trying to trick people into thinking their browser has crashed.

Browser: Firefox (Incognito only?)

===Internet Explorer===
[[File:umwelt ie.png]]

This is yet another reference to crashing web browsers but instead, Internet Explorer has given up. It could be because there are too many sessions, they are shutting it down, or maybe it was too lazy to do anything.

Browser: Internet Explorer

===Maxthon===
[[File:umwelt maxthon.png]]

Maxthon is a freeware web browser developed in 2002, which received multiple awards in the early 2010. "Hey, 200X called" is an insult, usually used to imply that the insultee's actions or appearance are so unfashionable that they were last seen in the year mentioned. "This is getting harder" may be Randall's lamenting the need to come up with a joke for so many browsers.

Browser: {{w|Maxthon}}

===Netscape Navigator===
[[File:umwelt netscape womanoctopus.png]]

[[File:umwelt netscape man.png]]

{{w|Netscape Navigator}} was a web browser popular in the 1990s. Randall again says that this is getting harder.

Browser: Netscape

===Rockmelt===
[[File:umwelt rockmelt.png|850px]]

{{w|Rockmelt}} is a social-media-based browser.

Reference to the gospel song {{w|Longing for Old Virginia: Their Complete Victor Recordings (1934)|"There's no hiding place down here" by The Carter Family}}, later covered by Stephen Stills.

:I run to the rock just to hide my face
:And the rocks cried out, no hiding place
:There's no hiding place down here

It may additionally be a reference to the ''Babylon 5'' episode "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place," which featured the song.

Browser: Rockmelt

===Plugin Disabled===
[[File:umwelt plugin disabled.png]]

When the Google Chrome web browser does not have the required software (called a plug-in) to display a web page's content, it displays a puzzle piece icon and an error message. In this case, Chrome informs the user that the content is impossible to display.

Browser: Plugin (?) Disabled, Safari Desktop

===Corporate Networks===
[[File:umwelt corporate general.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate google chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes other.png]]

These error messages appear if the user is on a network owned by one of the corporations noted. The error message includes a warning against speaking on the company's behalf. The joke is that if these people are members of the mentioned corporations, it would seem they can simply approve it, but the footnote tells them not to.

ISP: Corporate networks of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, NY Times

===Military===
[[File:umwelt military.png]]

[[Cueball]] assumes that anyone using a military network has an important job like watching for incoming missile, which is obviously untrue. He says he hopes they have the watching-for-missiles tab open in the background. He includes a thank-you to the user for their military service.

ISP: Military networks

===T-Mobile===
[[File:umwelt tmobile.png]]

Reference to T-Mobile's distinguishing feature (at the time it was written) of weaker coverage, in relation to other major providers. Back then, T-Mobile outages were very common.

ISP: T-Mobile

===Verizon and AT&T===
[[File:umwelt verizon.png]]

[[File:umwelt att.png]]

Reference to Verizon and AT&T's scandals and controversy regarding implementation of bandwidth caps.

ISP: Verizon and AT&T

===France===
[[File:umwelt france.jpg|850px]]

A common joke about France is that the nation does not win wars. This originated from France's annexation by Germany during World War II, and America's late entry into the war, which is sometimes portrayed humorously as a case of America 'saving' Europe, in this joke particularly France (the role of the French resistance is usually not mentioned), leading to a common American joke at the expense of France's military prowess [https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html][https://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm][https://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm]. When France did not form part of the coalition that invaded Iraq in 2003, aligning with the many countries that condemned U.S. action, the joke was revived.

A Google search of "French Military Victories" + 'I'm feeling lucky' used to direct to "did you mean: french military defeats" (due to a {{w|Google bomb}}). Cueball is trying to show this to his friend, who is French. However, his joke backfires, as his friend immediately points out that the stereotype of France not having military victories is undercut by the fact that one of the most innovative military commanders in history, Napoleon, was French by citizenship (though Italian/Corsican by culture, as the French annexed Corsica a few months before his birth to an Italian noble family), and in fact conquered much of Europe.

Following the theme of umwelt, the comic highlights the two characters' differing perspectives: The American thinks that France is a military failure, while the Frenchman thinks of Napoleon.

The last line of the comic further implies that Cueball is not as smart as he thinks he is in regards to anything French, as he mispronounces the French loan word "{{w|Touché (fencing)|touché}}".

Locations: France & Quebec

===Germany===
[[File:umwelt germany.png]]

This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force. Note East Germany wasn't blockaded, only West Berlin. "Blockade" is misspelled.

Location: Germany

===Israel===
[[File:umwelt israel.png]]

Translation: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

A reference to the multiple use of the word Jewish to denote both a {{w|Judaism|religious group}} and a {{w|Jews|nationality/ethnicity}}, as well as the stereotype of Jews holding low opinions of interfaith marriage.

A side note: Randall accidentally drew an apostrophe instead of the similar-looking Hebrew letter י everywhere that letter should appear.

Location: Israel

===Carnot Cycle===
[[File:umwelt japan.png]]

A pun on "cycle"; a "{{w|Carnot cycle}}" is a thermodynamic cycle (e.g. refrigeration). Its efficiency depends on the temperature of the hot and cold 'reservoirs' in which it is operating. The icon on the side of the motorcycle resembles a [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/06/Carnot_cycle_p-V_diagram.svg/1000px-Carnot_cycle_p-V_diagram.svg.png graph of the Carnot cycle.]

Location: Japan

===UK===
[[File:umwelt uk.jpg|850px]]

He worded this as though to imply that the UK is a state of the U.S., and an unimportant one at that, which pokes fun at the UK, creating a paradox (sort of).

Location: UK

===Blizzard===
[[File:umwelt disasters blizzard.png|850px]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or blizzards are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe blizzard, while the Northeasterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild blizzard.

For each particular location in which this displayed, the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Georgia, Halifax, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, the Northeast, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Texas, Toronto, Tennessee, New York, Wisconsin

===Tornado===
[[File:umwelt disasters tornado.png|850px]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or tornadoes are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe tornado, while the Midwesterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild tornado. It's similar to [[#Blizzard|Blizzard]].

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Dallas, Illinois, Georgia, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Tennessee, Texas (and Virginia, but it used Ohio in the third panel)

Tornadoes are a [[:Category:Tornadoes|recurring subject]] on xkcd. The picture used in [[1754: Tornado Safety Tips]] very reminiscent of the one from this version of Umwelt. [[Category:Tornadoes]]

===Hurricane===
[[File:umwelt disasters hurricane.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or hurricanes are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe hurricane, while the Easterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild hurricane. It's similar to [[#Blizzard|Blizzard]] and [[#Tornado|Tornado]].

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: D.C, Florida, Georgia, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia

===Lake Diver Killer===
[[File:umwelt lake diver.png]]

This comic shows a news reporter standing in front of a lake. She is reporting on a serial killer who targets divers. As more divers are sent in to investigate and/or search for bodies, more divers go missing, the implication being that they were also murdered. The more likely reason is the lake itself is dangerous for diving, and the divers probably drowned from natural hazards (undercurrents, entanglement, running out of oxygen in tanks, etc.) instead of a malicious assailant. Also, this is a sort of loop, where each time a diver gets killed, the investigative team goes and investigates, causing more divers to get killed, causing more deaths, and so on.

Location: Bay Areas, Metro Detroit, Vermont showed an image specifically referencing Lake Champlain

===Lincoln Memorial===
[[File:umwelt lincoln memorial.png]]

{{w|Abraham Lincoln}}, the 16th president of the United States of America, was not an entity composed wholly of nanobots that attempted to consume the entire nation to then be imprisoned within the {{w|Lincoln Memorial}}.{{Citation needed}} The inscription references the epitaph at the actual Lincoln Memorial, which reads "In this temple, as in the hearts of the people for whom he saved the union, the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever".

Locations: Illinois & Washington, D.C.

===Helicopter Hunting===
[[File:umwelt helicoptor.png]]

In Alaska, governments and individuals have {{w|Wolf hunting#North America 2|shot wolves en masse from helicopters}} in an attempt to artificially inflate populations of game, such as moose and caribou, to make hunting them easier. This is opposed by many, as the game populations are not endangered (thus, this threatens ecological balance); wolves are a small threat to livestock in North America; most of the wolf body —including meat and bones— goes wasted as they are sought mainly for their pelts.

Knowledge of this issue was popularized by press around vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's support for this culling method.

Location: Alaska

===Newspaper===
[[File:umwelt life scientists.png]]

[[File:umwelt life rit.png]]

[[File:umwelt life umass.png]]

Creating new life has long been a well understood process, in a lab or otherwise. The joke here is that they scientists made life in a lab the conventional way, not actually using science.

This comic is likely a reference to the title text of [[983: Privacy]]

Location: Various

Specific versions appeared for RIT and UMass Amherst

===Robot Paul Revere===
[[File:umwelt paul revere.png]]

Combination of the legend of {{w|Paul Revere#"Midnight Ride"|Paul Revere}} and a computer bit that differentiates between two situations by indicating a zero or a one. The joke is that instead of one if by land, two if by sea, following how binary works, it’s zero if by land and one if by sea.

Location: Boston

===Counting Cards===

All four colleges in this series are in Massachusetts and, being similar, in pairs, rival each other to some extent (Harvard-MIT and Smith-Wellesley). The comic contains a reference to the {{w|MIT Blackjack Team}}, which entered popular culture via the {{w|21 (2008 film)|film 21}}, and a possible reference to Orwell's book '1984' and/or {{w|Chain of Command (Star Trek: The Next Generation)|popular homage to it via Star Trek}}: "There are four lights."[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChYIm6MW39k]

Bonus: The thought-gears in panel 3 are spinning against each other.

Location: Harvard

[[File:umwelt counting cards harvard.png]]

Location: MIT

[[File:umwelt counting cards mit.png]]

"Course 15s" at MIT are the business major students, often mocked for taking a less-rigorous program. The different interpretation for why the MIT students could not count cards compared to Harvard may be a reference to the theme of umwelt.

Location: Smith

[[File:umwelt counting cards smith.png]]

Location: Wellesley

[[File:umwelt counting cards wellesley.png]]

Both Wellesley and Smith are all-women colleges in Massachusetts.

===Giant Box Trap===
[[File:umwelt box trap.png]]

Randall got his undergrad in Physics at the {{w|Christopher Newport University}}, and was scheduled to return shortly to give a talk. The "Trible" figure on the right is Paul Trible, the then-president of CNU. This comic depicts a classic trap, where an upside-down box is propped up with a stick. When the stick is removed, by pulling a string, the box falls and traps whatever is underneath it. Aside from the joke of the obvious trap, there's also the fact that the president would not be responsible for revoking unearned diplomas.

Location: Christopher Newport University

===Chemo Support===
[[File:umwelt chemo.jpg]]

[[Cueball]] has shaved his head in support of people going through {{w|chemotherapy}} but, as he is always depicted as a stick figure with no hair, no one can tell.

Randall's now-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and apparently DFCI is where they've been spending much of their time.

Location: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

===Reviews===
[[File:reviews.png]]

The previous strip appears twice when using [[wikipedia:Tor (anonymity network)|Tor]].

This strip was previously used in [[1036: Reviews]].

Browser: Any using Tor, xkcd API (JSON, RSS, Atom), w3m and reports of seeing it on a Kindle Fire HD, unixkcd; also happens if visiting with a browser that does not support JavaScript (such as Firefox with NoScript)

===Nothing===

[[File:Umwelt blank.jpg]]

In some cases, the comic can be completely absent, with only the top and bottom buttons visible. On most newer browsers, this is caused by a script loading part of the comic via an HTTP request while the rest of the webpage is delivered over HTTPS. This is referred to as [https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/Security/Mixed_content mixed content] and is blocked on modern browsers by default due to security concerns. This version of the comic is therefore likely not an intended outcome, but rather an unintended consequence of how this comic was implemented. [https://mastodon.social/@chromakode/109531309722997557 It has been confirmed] that this was not intentional and will be fixed. Since this comic's release, all devices viewing it have returned two rows of navigation buttons if near IP address 69.114.249.104.

The http(s) issue seems to have been fixed.

==Transcript==
:'''[This section only covers the first three comics. For the transcript of the entire comic, go to the [[1037: Umwelt/Transcript|full transcript page]].]'''

===The Void===
:[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

===Aurora===
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: Hockey's on.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

===Aurora-US===
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada. CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: It's cold out.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

===Snake===
:[Two people standing next to each other. Megan is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

:Megan: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

:'''[For the transcript of the entire comic, go to the [[1037: Umwelt/Transcript|full transcript page]].]'''

==Trivia==
* The Reddit user [https://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations. Much of his information is now included in this wiki.
* At the start of the [https://xkcd.com/1037/info.0.json official transcript of this comic], the writer added a note alluding to its extreme length:
:: <nowiki>[[Two people...]]</nowiki>
:: ((..wait.. <scrolls through a listing of everything> oh goddammit Randall. Thanks a bunch, dude. I better get a raise for typing out all this))
* This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the third comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fools' joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2nd. The next comic, [[1038: Fountain]], was first released on Wednesday, April 4th. This was the first that could be different for different readers.
* This comic displays the previous comic, Reviews (1036), when you try to view it on [[unixkcd]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Comics with blood]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]] 
[[Category:Turtles]]
[[Category:Aurora]]
[[Category:Firefox]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

1037: Umwelt

2026-05-25T05:19:35Z

Ello: Typo in "Pond"

{{comic
| number = 1037
| date = April 1, 2012
| title = Umwelt
| image = umwelt_the_void.jpg
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 5
| date = April 1, 2012
| days_late =
| day_category = Sunday
| prev_title = 880: Headache
| prev_date = April 1, 2011
| next_title = 1193: Externalities
| next_date = April 1, 2013
| extra_text =
}}
{{TOC}}To view your personal version of the comic, visit the {{xkcd|1037|original comic}}.

==Explanation==

An {{w|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that a person's entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this April Fools' Day comic changes based on the browser, location, or referrer. Thus what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day, although only one is seen.
(The term 'Umwelt,' as mentioned in the comic, refers to the semiotic theories of Jakob von Uexküll and Thomas A. Sebeok)

Information about how the wide variety of data was collected and credit for the viewers who contributed can be found [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/rnst4/april_fools_xkcd_changing_comic/ here].

===The Void===
[[File:umwelt the void.jpg]]

If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

Possible reference to The Ring (https://imgur.com/wlGmm), as though to suggest that using an alternative browser is dismal and horrific.

Davean (xkcd's sysadmin): "[This] comic isn't available everywhere and it can come up i[n] some situation[s] only for recognized browsers."{{Actual citation needed}}

Browser: Alternative Browser

===Aurora===
[[File:umwelt aurora.png|800px]]

One could interpret that since [[Megan]] didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the {{w|Aurora}} (northern lights), [[Knit Cap]] lied about it. That way, Megan wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out. Another interpretation could be that she decides that since Megan did not even bother to go outside to see such a spectacular sight she will not tell her about it. And yet another could be that she did not think it was interesting.

Knit Cap could possibly also be red-green colorblind, seeing the green aurorae as grey "clouds". This would serve as an example for the theme of the comic, as a non-colorblind person and a colorblind person seeing the same color would perceive it differently, one seeing it as its true color, and the other seeing it without the shade of color they cannot see. If this is the case, then it would be a reference to umwelt, as Knit Cap would be living in a world where the auroras do not reach his location.

In real life, [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-northern-lights-dont-look-anything-like-they-do-in-photos_n_5500a4d9e4b0e62d0dd4f9bb aurorae are usually seen as grey/white clouds] to the naked eye, as our eyes cannot perceive the "greener" colors as well in the dark.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Locations: Canada, Boston, Indiana, Maine, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Texas, Minnesota, Norway, Denmark, France, Ireland, Rhode Island, Mississippi, Seoul (Safari), London (on Firefox), China (on Firefox and Safari), Finland (Uses "Canada"). Also in Virginia, but using Ohio in the first panel; in Wisconsin, Maryland and the Philippines, but using Canada in the first panel; in Marion, Illinois, but using Canada in the first panel along with the phrase "as far south as us" in the first panel, and in Utah, also using the phrase "as far south as us", same with Colombia, Spain, Georgia, Florida, Iowa, Washington State, Michigan, and California.

In [[1302: Year in Review]] a possibly different Megan has a completely different approach to the chance of seeing northern lights, as that was the only event she was looking forward to in 2013, and it failed. If this is the same Megan, perhaps she learned that there actually were northern lights in her area from another source, and so desperately wanted to have another chance to see them.

===Snake===
[[File:umwelt snake composite 1024.png|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt snake composite.png|Full size]]

The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest living snake is the {{w|reticulated python}}, the longest ever measuring over 22 feet (6.95 meters). The blue and orange circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel, where there is a large bulge in the snake that looks like an elephant. The Little Prince starts out by mentioning a drawing that the author made when he was six that showed an elephant inside a snake.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Specific AltText for this image: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit -from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your browser window size.

Location: Texas (on Chrome Version 33.0.1750.154 m), New Jersey, California (on Chrome Version 39.0.2171.95), Maryland, Massachusetts (Safari for iOS, Chrome version 49.0.2623.112), Connecticut (Safari for iOS, Chrome Version 73.0.3683.103, Internet Explorer and Microsoft Edge), Virginia (on Chrome), Michigan (Firefox v46.0.1), Penang (Chrome Version 65.0.3325.162), London (Microsoft Edge), Spain/Barcelona (on Brave) Germany (on Opera One (version: 106.0.4998.70)), Fruita, Colorado (on Chrome for Android version 123.0.6312.80), China (Chrome and Edge), Australia (Chrome, version 137.0.7151.56, but only in guest mode),Brazil.

===Black Hat===
[[File:umwelt tortoise 1024.png|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt tortoise.png|Full size]]

Cueball as an analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. Cueball's quote and the whole setup is a direct reference to the movie {{w|Blade Runner}} (1982) and Black Hat is taking the Voight-Kampff test which is used to identify replicants from real humans.

Black Hat's reason for not helping the tortoise is that ''it '''knows''' what it did'' and thus in Black Hat's world view it deserves being turned over. The final part of the joke is that when zooming out it turns out that there is a tortoise behind Black Hat and he has actually already turned it over for what it did.

Location: Seems to appear mostly in "other countries" — those without location-specific comics.

===Too Quiet===
[[File:umwelt too quiet 1024.png|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt too quiet.png|Full size]]

A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

Location: short version — iPhone 5c Safari browser in Texas, iPhone 5 Chrome Browser in Minnesota, long version - Google Chrome browser in Indiana, Windows 8 Laptop

===Pond===
[[File:umwelt pond mobile.png]][[File:umwelt pond wide.png]]

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

This is just showing some nice looking scenery; a mountain, lake, and a forest.

Location: The Netherlands and various other countries.

===Galaxies===
[[File:umwelt galaxies 1024.jpg|850px]]
[[:File:umwelt galaxies.jpg|Full size]]

Megan is distracted from her conversation with [[Cueball]] by realizing that the space behind his head, from her vantage point, contains millions of galaxies. This is similar to an [https://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/image/astro/hst_deep_field.jpg incredible photograph] taken by the Hubble Telescope, in which a tiny dark area of space in fact contained numerous galaxies.

The title text is an imaginative leap from this scenario: that the galaxies would be up to no good once Cueball is turned away from them.

This comic was only reported once... the intended environmental context is a mystery.

Location: unknown - sole report happened in Minnesota on Opera browser from a small ISP

===xkcd Gold===
[[File:umwelt xkcd gold.png]]

This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" or "/z/ bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

Referrer: 4chan

===Yo Mama===
[[File:umwelt dog ballast.png]]

Possible reference to Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s "{{w|Harrison Bergeron}}."

The joke is that people's different experiences shape how they perceive the world in that the people who live in this world would perceive the joke as funny, while people in our world would not get it. This is the idea of umwelt mentioned at the top of the context where different individuals perceive the world differently.

Refer: Facebook

===Reddit===
[[File:umwelt reddit.png]]

Reference to referencing, because Reddit, as a referring site, likes references to its referencing in its references.

This comic also features recursive imagery similar to [[688: Self-Description]] where the second panel embeds the entire comic within itself. (Except, conspicuously, the arrow indicating that it is "You" in the first panel.)

One of the browser tabs visible in the center panel is {{w|Elk}} on Wikipedia.

Referrer: Reddit

===Buns and Hot dogs===
[[File:umwelt somethingawful.jpg]]

This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?" , but instead it’s talking about bags of blood and ash.

Another, more sexual reference to this question can be found in [[1641: Hot Dogs]].

Referrer: SomethingAwful, Questionable Content, & MetaFilter

===Twitter===
[[File:umwelt twitter.jpg]]

A summary of the "content" typically found on Twitter.

In the tweet feed, there are three tweets about some podcast on the top, followed by the tweet containing link they clicked on to get to the comic, tweets about Rob Delaney, unspecified passive-aggressive tweets, and a tweet from {{w|Horse_ebooks}} retweeted by one of the users the reader follows.

On the left, the topmost dialog, with profile information, shows that the user has posted 1,302 tweets, but only follows 171 people and has even fewer followers, at a measly 48. This is marked with a sad face, implying that the user wants more followers.

Below that is the "who to follow" dialog, which is written up as consisting of "assholes".

Below that is the "trending tags" dialog for the United States. It is full of tags about word games, tags about misogyny, and tags about Justin Bieber.

Below that is an unidentified dialog full of "stuff your eyes automatically ignore". And finally, on the bottom is the background color, which is "a really pleasant blue".

"Aggression" is misspelled.

Referrer: Twitter

===Wikipedia===
[[File:umwelt wikipedia wide.jpg]]
[[File:umwelt wikipedia mobile.png]]

The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have had sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic.

Two different versions shown, the narrower version (the single panel with all the text) for mobile devices.

Referrer: Wikipedia

===Google Chrome===
[[File:umwelt chrome1.jpg]]

{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

Browser: Chrome

===Chrome/Firefox===
[[File:umwelt chrome2.png]]

Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X and Linux, with a mobile version for Android and iOS, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} that fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser.

Browser: Chrome

===Google Chrome-2===
[[File:umwelt chrome3.png]]

This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece. When completing jigsaw puzzles, a common strategy is to figure out where the pieces must be from their geometry rather than from the picture they create. In this case, the text suggests that Chrome believes the puzzle piece connects to the pieces which form one of the corners of the puzzle, which may seem impossible because any piece that links up to a corner would usually have at least one flat edge, which this piece has none. However, more complicated puzzles have complex shapes and are not always simply approximate squares with tabs and blanks.

Browser: Chrome or silk on desktop view

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[[File:umwelt firefox incognito.png]]

Another reference to crashing web browsers.
Firefox shows the history when it crashes. Possibly trying to trick people into thinking their browser has crashed.

Browser: Firefox (Incognito only?)

===Internet Explorer===
[[File:umwelt ie.png]]

This is yet another reference to crashing web browsers but instead, Internet Explorer has given up. It could be because there are too many sessions, they are shutting it down, or maybe it was too lazy to do anything.

Browser: Internet Explorer

===Maxthon===
[[File:umwelt maxthon.png]]

Maxthon is a freeware web browser developed in 2002, which received multiple awards in the early 2010. "Hey, 200X called" is an insult, usually used to imply that the insultee's actions or appearance are so unfashionable that they were last seen in the year mentioned. "This is getting harder" may be Randall's lamenting the need to come up with a joke for so many browsers.

Browser: {{w|Maxthon}}

===Netscape Navigator===
[[File:umwelt netscape womanoctopus.png]]

[[File:umwelt netscape man.png]]

{{w|Netscape Navigator}} was a web browser popular in the 1990s. Randall again says that this is getting harder.

Browser: Netscape

===Rockmelt===
[[File:umwelt rockmelt.png|850px]]

{{w|Rockmelt}} is a social-media-based browser.

Reference to the gospel song {{w|Longing for Old Virginia: Their Complete Victor Recordings (1934)|"There's no hiding place down here" by The Carter Family}}, later covered by Stephen Stills.

:I run to the rock just to hide my face
:And the rocks cried out, no hiding place
:There's no hiding place down here

It may additionally be a reference to the ''Babylon 5'' episode "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place," which featured the song.

Browser: Rockmelt

===Plugin Disabled===
[[File:umwelt plugin disabled.png]]

When the Google Chrome web browser does not have the required software (called a plug-in) to display a web page's content, it displays a puzzle piece icon and an error message. In this case, Chrome informs the user that the content is impossible to display.

Browser: Plugin (?) Disabled, Safari Desktop

===Corporate Networks===
[[File:umwelt corporate general.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate google chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes other.png]]

These error messages appear if the user is on a network owned by one of the corporations noted. The error message includes a warning against speaking on the company's behalf. The joke is that if these people are members of the mentioned corporations, it would seem they can simply approve it, but the footnote tells them not to.

ISP: Corporate networks of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, NY Times

===Military===
[[File:umwelt military.png]]

[[Cueball]] assumes that anyone using a military network has an important job like watching for incoming missile, which is obviously untrue. He says he hopes they have the watching-for-missiles tab open in the background. He includes a thank-you to the user for their military service.

ISP: Military networks

===T-Mobile===
[[File:umwelt tmobile.png]]

Reference to T-Mobile's distinguishing feature (at the time it was written) of weaker coverage, in relation to other major providers. Back then, T-Mobile outages were very common.

ISP: T-Mobile

===Verizon and AT&T===
[[File:umwelt verizon.png]]

[[File:umwelt att.png]]

Reference to Verizon and AT&T's scandals and controversy regarding implementation of bandwidth caps.

ISP: Verizon and AT&T

===France===
[[File:umwelt france.jpg|850px]]

A common joke about France is that the nation does not win wars. This originated from France's annexation by Germany during World War II, and America's late entry into the war, which is sometimes portrayed humorously as a case of America 'saving' Europe, in this joke particularly France (the role of the French resistance is usually not mentioned), leading to a common American joke at the expense of France's military prowess [https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html][https://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm][https://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm]. When France did not form part of the coalition that invaded Iraq in 2003, aligning with the many countries that condemned U.S. action, the joke was revived.

A Google search of "French Military Victories" + 'I'm feeling lucky' used to direct to "did you mean: french military defeats" (due to a {{w|Google bomb}}). Cueball is trying to show this to his friend, who is French. However, his joke backfires, as his friend immediately points out that the stereotype of France not having military victories is undercut by the fact that one of the most innovative military commanders in history, Napoleon, was French by citizenship (though Italian/Corsican by culture, as the French annexed Corsica a few months before his birth to an Italian noble family), and in fact conquered much of Europe.

Following the theme of umwelt, the comic highlights the two characters' differing perspectives: The American thinks that France is a military failure, while the Frenchman thinks of Napoleon.

The last line of the comic further implies that Cueball is not as smart as he thinks he is in regards to anything French, as he mispronounces the French loan word "{{w|Touché (fencing)|touché}}".

Locations: France & Quebec

===Germany===
[[File:umwelt germany.png]]

This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force. Note East Germany wasn't blockaded, only West Berlin. "Blockade" is misspelled.

Location: Germany

===Israel===
[[File:umwelt israel.png]]

Translation: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

A reference to the multiple use of the word Jewish to denote both a {{w|Judaism|religious group}} and a {{w|Jews|nationality/ethnicity}}, as well as the stereotype of Jews holding low opinions of interfaith marriage.

A side note: Randall accidentally drew an apostrophe instead of the similar-looking Hebrew letter י everywhere that letter should appear.

Location: Israel

===Carnot Cycle===
[[File:umwelt japan.png]]

A pun on "cycle"; a "{{w|Carnot cycle}}" is a thermodynamic cycle (e.g. refrigeration). Its efficiency depends on the temperature of the hot and cold 'reservoirs' in which it is operating. The icon on the side of the motorcycle resembles a [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/06/Carnot_cycle_p-V_diagram.svg/1000px-Carnot_cycle_p-V_diagram.svg.png graph of the Carnot cycle.]

Location: Japan

===UK===
[[File:umwelt uk.jpg|850px]]

He worded this as though to imply that the UK is a state of the U.S., and an unimportant one at that, which pokes fun at the UK, creating a paradox (sort of).

Location: UK

===Blizzard===
[[File:umwelt disasters blizzard.png|850px]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or blizzards are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe blizzard, while the Northeasterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild blizzard.

For each particular location in which this displayed, the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Georgia, Halifax, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, the Northeast, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Texas, Toronto, Tennessee, New York, Wisconsin

===Tornado===
[[File:umwelt disasters tornado.png|850px]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or tornadoes are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe tornado, while the Midwesterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild tornado. It's similar to [[#Blizzard|Blizzard]].

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Dallas, Illinois, Georgia, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Tennessee, Texas (and Virginia, but it used Ohio in the third panel)

Tornadoes are a [[:Category:Tornadoes|recurring subject]] on xkcd. The picture used in [[1754: Tornado Safety Tips]] very reminiscent of the one from this version of Umwelt. [[Category:Tornadoes]]

===Hurricane===
[[File:umwelt disasters hurricane.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or hurricanes are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe hurricane, while the Easterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild hurricane. It's similar to [[#Blizzard|Blizzard]] and [[#Tornado|Tornado]].

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: D.C, Florida, Georgia, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia

===Lake Diver Killer===
[[File:umwelt lake diver.png]]

This comic shows a news reporter standing in front of a lake. She is reporting on a serial killer who targets divers. As more divers are sent in to investigate and/or search for bodies, more divers go missing, the implication being that they were also murdered. The more likely reason is the lake itself is dangerous for diving, and the divers probably drowned from natural hazards (undercurrents, entanglement, running out of oxygen in tanks, etc.) instead of a malicious assailant. Also, this is a sort of loop, where each time a diver gets killed, the investigative team goes and investigates, causing more divers to get killed, causing more deaths, and so on.

Location: Bay Areas, Metro Detroit, Vermont showed an image specifically referencing Lake Champlain

===Lincoln Memorial===
[[File:umwelt lincoln memorial.png]]

{{w|Abraham Lincoln}}, the 16th president of the United States of America, was not an entity composed wholly of nanobots that attempted to consume the entire nation to then be imprisoned within the {{w|Lincoln Memorial}}.{{Citation needed}} The inscription references the epitaph at the actual Lincoln Memorial, which reads "In this temple, as in the hearts of the people for whom he saved the union, the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever".

Locations: Illinois & Washington, D.C.

===Helicopter Hunting===
[[File:umwelt helicoptor.png]]

In Alaska, governments and individuals have {{w|Wolf hunting#North America 2|shot wolves en masse from helicopters}} in an attempt to artificially inflate populations of game, such as moose and caribou, to make hunting them easier. This is opposed by many, as the game populations are not endangered (thus, this threatens ecological balance); wolves are a small threat to livestock in North America; most of the wolf body —including meat and bones— goes wasted as they are sought mainly for their pelts.

Knowledge of this issue was popularized by press around vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's support for this culling method.

Location: Alaska

===Newspaper===
[[File:umwelt life scientists.png]]

[[File:umwelt life rit.png]]

[[File:umwelt life umass.png]]

Creating new life has long been a well understood process, in a lab or otherwise. The joke here is that they scientists made life in a lab the conventional way, not actually using science.

This comic is likely a reference to the title text of [[983: Privacy]]

Location: Various

Specific versions appeared for RIT and UMass Amherst

===Robot Paul Revere===
[[File:umwelt paul revere.png]]

Combination of the legend of {{w|Paul Revere#"Midnight Ride"|Paul Revere}} and a computer bit that differentiates between two situations by indicating a zero or a one. The joke is that instead of one if by land, two if by sea, following how binary works, it’s zero if by land and one if by sea.

Location: Boston

===Counting Cards===

All four colleges in this series are in Massachusetts and, being similar, in pairs, rival each other to some extent (Harvard-MIT and Smith-Wellesley). The comic contains a reference to the {{w|MIT Blackjack Team}}, which entered popular culture via the {{w|21 (2008 film)|film 21}}, and a possible reference to Orwell's book '1984' and/or {{w|Chain of Command (Star Trek: The Next Generation)|popular homage to it via Star Trek}}: "There are four lights."[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChYIm6MW39k]

Bonus: The thought-gears in panel 3 are spinning against each other.

Location: Harvard

[[File:umwelt counting cards harvard.png]]

Location: MIT

[[File:umwelt counting cards mit.png]]

"Course 15s" at MIT are the business major students, often mocked for taking a less-rigorous program. The different interpretation for why the MIT students could not count cards compared to Harvard may be a reference to the theme of umwelt.

Location: Smith

[[File:umwelt counting cards smith.png]]

Location: Wellesley

[[File:umwelt counting cards wellesley.png]]

Both Wellesley and Smith are all-women colleges in Massachusetts.

===Giant Box Trap===
[[File:umwelt box trap.png]]

Randall got his undergrad in Physics at the {{w|Christopher Newport University}}, and was scheduled to return shortly to give a talk. The "Trible" figure on the right is Paul Trible, the then-president of CNU. This comic depicts a classic trap, where an upside-down box is propped up with a stick. When the stick is removed, by pulling a string, the box falls and traps whatever is underneath it. Aside from the joke of the obvious trap, there's also the fact that the president would not be responsible for revoking unearned diplomas.

Location: Christopher Newport University

===Chemo Support===
[[File:umwelt chemo.jpg]]

[[Cueball]] has shaved his head in support of people going through {{w|chemotherapy}} but, as he is always depicted as a stick figure with no hair, no one can tell.

Randall's now-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and apparently DFCI is where they've been spending much of their time.

Location: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

===Reviews===
[[File:reviews.png]]

The previous strip appears twice when using [[wikipedia:Tor (anonymity network)|Tor]].

This strip was previously used in [[1036: Reviews]].

Browser: Any using Tor, xkcd API (JSON, RSS, Atom), w3m and reports of seeing it on a Kindle Fire HD, unixkcd; also happens if visiting with a browser that does not support JavaScript (such as Firefox with NoScript)

===Nothing===

[[File:Umwelt blank.jpg]]

In some cases, the comic can be completely absent, with only the top and bottom buttons visible. On most newer browsers, this is caused by a script loading part of the comic via an HTTP request while the rest of the webpage is delivered over HTTPS. This is referred to as [https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/Security/Mixed_content mixed content] and is blocked on modern browsers by default due to security concerns. This version of the comic is therefore likely not an intended outcome, but rather an unintended consequence of how this comic was implemented. [https://mastodon.social/@chromakode/109531309722997557 It has been confirmed] that this was not intentional and will be fixed. Since this comic's release, all devices viewing it have returned two rows of navigation buttons if near IP address 69.114.249.104.

The http(s) issue seems to have been fixed.

==Transcript==
:'''[This section only covers the first three comics. For the transcript of the entire comic, go to the [[1037: Umwelt/Transcript|full transcript page]].]'''

===The Void===
:[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

===Aurora===
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: Hockey's on.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

===Aurora-US===
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada. CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: It's cold out.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

===Snake===
:[Two people standing next to each other. Megan is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

:Megan: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

:'''[For the transcript of the entire comic, go to the [[1037: Umwelt/Transcript|full transcript page]].]'''

==Trivia==
* The Reddit user [https://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations. Much of his information is now included in this wiki.
* At the start of the [https://xkcd.com/1037/info.0.json official transcript of this comic], the writer added a note alluding to its extreme length:
:: <nowiki>[[Two people...]]</nowiki>
:: ((..wait.. <scrolls through a listing of everything> oh goddammit Randall. Thanks a bunch, dude. I better get a raise for typing out all this))
* This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the third comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fools' joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2nd. The next comic, [[1038: Fountain]], was first released on Wednesday, April 4th. This was the first that could be different for different readers.
* This comic displays the previous comic, Reviews (1036), when you try to view it on [[unixkcd]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Comics with blood]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]] 
[[Category:Turtles]]
[[Category:Aurora]]
[[Category:Firefox]]
[[Category:Comics with custom header texts]]

3194: 16 Part Epoxy

2026-05-18T22:22:02Z

Ello: Slightly changed second line in transcript to include "syringes" and "connected"

{{comic
| number = 3194
| date = January 14, 2026
| title = 16 Part Epoxy
| image = 16_part_epoxy_2x.png
| imagesize = 511x595px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Some surfaces may seem difficult to glue. But if you research the materials, find tables of what adhesives work on them, and prepare your surfaces carefully, you can fail to glue them in a fun NEW way that fills your house with dangerous vapors.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic refers to {{w|epoxy}} — substances used as adhesives, sealants, and coatings, named for the chemical substructure {{w|epoxide}}, which is the precursor component to these substances turning from liquids to solids.

[[File:FiveMinEpoxy.jpg|thumb|A typical 2-part epoxy applicator.]]Many types of epoxy are multi-part (usually two-part), where the components, such as {{w|resin}} and a {{w|Epoxy#Curing|hardener}}, are stored separately. For ease of use, this can be in parallel syringes (of equal volume, or proportionately different widths to maintain the correct mixing ratio) such that the user squeezes out both of the separate chemicals onto the initial surface, or into a container, by depressing both syringes simultaneously. The user then thoroughly mixes the components, as quickly as possible. The mixture is spread over the surface(s) to be joined or protected, and/or into the gaps to be filled, and if there are separate surfaces involved they are quickly positioned and held in place. The combined epoxy cures quickly, usually within a few minutes. This comic presents a fictitious 16-part epoxy, with the same apparent logic of parallel deposition in mind, with many components that are implausible or make fun of common problems people have when using epoxy in real life.

The title text, as with a couple of the substances involved, references how not all epoxies and glues work on every material, and that applying them on others can also require special techniques or products to gain the best advantage. Some industrial or industrial-grade adhesives contain solvents (e.g. {{w|tetrachloroethylene}}, which is used in E6000 glue) that release harmful vapors as they cure. If used improperly, this can result in the release of chemical vapors in an enclosed space along other dangerous side-effects, while also ''still'' not adhesing as intended.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!Type
!Real?
!Explanation
|-
|Resin
|{{Yes}}
|A liquid which turns into a polymer when mixed with a hardener.
|-
|Hardener
|{{Yes}}
|A thick liquid which is mixed with resin to create a durable polymer which is commonly used as a glue.
|-
|Filler
|{{Yes}}
|An optional addition to the hardener and resin which changes the properties of the polymer.

Some epoxies are sold as products known as 'fillers', used to repair and cover cracks, holes, and imperfections.
|-
|Softener
|{{Yes}}
|The word is probably being used in humorous contrast to the "hardener" component, and perhaps also by analogy with laundry products that contain a fabric softener alongside a detergent. However, {{w|plasticizer|plasticizers}} are often added to polymers to make them more pliable, and thus to increase their impact resistance. These plasticizers tend to be lost over long periods of time (e.g. by evaporation or degradation), which contributes to old plastic becoming brittle.
|-
|Rosin
|{{Yes}}
|While this looks like a joke entry, this is actually a different kind of resin which is extracted naturally rather than synthesized from other chemicals. Rosin (a kind of '{{w|Flux (metallurgy)|flux}}') is one of two parts that make up rosin-core solder, used in electronic work, where the rosin is located in the center (the "core") of the wire-like solder, similar to how graphite is in the core of a pencil. When heated hot enough to melt, it {{w|Soldering#Flux|cleans corrosion and oxides from the surfaces}} of the metal parts to be joined, creating bare metal surfaces that can be 'wet' by the solder. In rosin-core solder, the two substances are touching rather than kept completely separate, since they're both in solid form, and don't react with each other even when they're heated to melt them. In this respect they differ from common combination epoxy chemicals that will be both liquids that cure together on contact even at room temperature. Rosin is also frequently applied to the bows of string instruments like violins or cellos to improve the sound, as immortalized in the famous song "{{w|The Devil Went Down to Georgia}}" or the folk song {{w|Old Rosin the Beau}}.
|-
|Stuff that bonds permanently to skin and nothing else
|{{No}}
|One key annoyance with sticky substances is the difficulty of removing them when they are inadvertently applied to skin. In hyperbole, we have a substance here that seems to bond *solely* to skin. This may be a reference to {{w|cyanoacrylate|cyanoacrylate adhesives}} ("super glues"), which famously bond quite aggressively to skin (sometimes to positive effect, for medical applications!) due to being moisture-activated, while often failing to bond the target materials. Still, none are known to bond to skin exclusively.{{acn}}
|-
|Stuff that will crack and turn white over a few days, for decorative appearance
|{{Maybe|Not effective as epoxy}}
|Poor finish, where an intended smooth uniform surface cracks or discolors, can be a frustrating problem when applying epoxy mixtures to visible surfaces — especially when the problem only appears some time after you've congratulated yourself on a job well done. This humorously describes this as an intended effect, although there are situations where this truly may be intended. 'Crackle effect' is a real thing for crafters, often created by mixing paint and glue, and an adhesive used to join two pieces or repair a crack or break can be modified for a deliberately cracked or discolored surface to match the other surfaces.
|-
|Placebo
|{{Maybe|Not in the field of adhesives}}
|The {{w|placebo effect}} happens when somebody is told that something has a certain effect, when in reality it has no mechanism of action to produce that effect. This is commonly used in medical studies to determine whether a medication actually does something, as opposed to simply having a {{w|psychosomatic effect}}. Using this term to describe a type of polymer suggests it would make someone believe it is gluing things together without actually doing anything, which is unlikely. Alternatively, this could refer to a component or filler that claims to serve a specific purpose while having no true benefit, merely causing the perception of benefit to the consumer (and presumably causing better reviews).
|-
|Minced duct tape
|{{Maybe|Not intentionally}}
|{{w|Duct tape}} is widely used as a way to join and/or cover things, sometimes in contexts where an epoxy might provide a more high-quality solution. [[Randall]] is pretending that having very small pieces of tape in the mix would add to the epoxy's ability to hold things together. In reality, cutting duct tape into small pieces would weaken it and make it ''less'' effective at sticking things together.
|-
|Acetone fragrance
|{{No}}
|{{w|Acetone}} is a volatile solvent used in a number of glues and paints (including nail polish), but it weakens epoxy and can even be used to remove uncured epoxy. It has a strong, distinctive smell, and is actually toxic, making fragrance an odd reason for adding it to any product. It ''would'' give the epoxy a familiar "chemical smell" that people associate with industrial compounds. The use of 'X fragrance' in an ingredient list, instead of simply listing the ingredient X, usually implies that the actual ingredient is some (cheaper) substitute for X with a similar scent. Since acetone is already inexpensive, perhaps some substitute has been discovered that provides the smell without weakening this glue, though that seems unlikely given the context.
|-
|Powdered bar magnets
|{{Maybe|Yes, but not in resin}}
|This might still work if the pieces could somehow be aligned correctly, as each tiny piece of magnet would still be a magnet in its own right, capable of attracting the other tiny magnets, and thus resisting tension forces. However, it would be much worse than a normal bar magnet, since the magnetic force would be weaker than those that held the original bar together. The micro-magnets would tend to clump together, which might strengthen the glue, but wouldn't help it to bond to surfaces very much unless the surfaces themselves were strongly magnetic.
|-
|Polyethylvinylesteracetate
|{{Maybe|Not in epoxy}}
|This appears to be a reference to {{w|ethylene-vinyl acetate|Poly (ethylene-vinyl acetate)}}, some formulations of which can be used as the adhesive in hot-glue guns. Vinyl acetate is an ester, so the inclusion of that term is redundant. The cadence of the constructed word may also be a reference to the television episode {{w|Lucy Does a TV Commercial}} and its memorable product "Vitameatavegamin". It also resembles the kind of thing often seen in ingredients lists for common household products such as soaps and cleaners, which are fairly meaningless to the average person buying them.
|-
|2-Polyethylvinylesteracetate
|{{Maybe|Unclear}}
|This sounds almost exactly the same as the above item, but {{w|2-Polyprenyl-6-hydroxyphenol methylase|a name with a "2-" prefix}} generally indicates that the initial bit of the name is a {{w|functional group}} attached to the ''second'' position along a chemical chain (often being the carbon-carbon 'spine' of a molecule, in large-molecule organic chemistry), rather than attached to its end. Because the molecule name is (possibly deliberately) malformed, it's hard to tell what is supposed to be attached to the second carbon of what subunit. It may be intended to mimic the confusion consumers have over seemingly-similar named compounds, which may or may not have wildly differing properties.
|-
|Salt and pepper to taste
|{{Maybe|Not for taste, but salt can be useful}}
|Salt and pepper are two incredibly popular seasonings ([[974|not condiments]]) which are used to enhance a dish's flavor, and "salt and pepper to taste" is a phrase found in many food recipes. But the taste of your epoxy should not be your concern. Do not eat epoxy that isn't labelled safe-to-eat. However, salt, sand or other fine grains are sometimes recommended to add a bit of grit to an adhesive. Generally glues or epoxies need the bonded materials to be firmly held together while the glue cures, but when first pressed together, any excess glue is squeezed out and can cause the surfaces to slip around and need to be re-aligned. Any extra friction and spacing in the epoxy can help alleviate that.
|-
|Blood sample from the Gorilla Glue gorillas
|{{No}}{{Citation Needed}}
|{{w|Gorilla Glue}} is a popular brand of superglue which uses {{w|gorillas}} as its mascot. The comic implies that this is because the glue is produced using material taken from a fictional breed of gorillas called “Gorilla Glue” gorillas. Extracting and consuming the blood of a creature or person in an attempt to inherit some of the qualities of the 'donor' is a kind of {{w|sympathetic magic}}, so this may be suggesting that including this will give the epoxy 'the strength of a gorilla', which is commonly considered a powerful animal. Although animal products, including [https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/engineering/blood-glue blood], have historically been used in some traditional glues, these have typically not come from gorillas, and Gorilla Glue contains no such ingredients.
|-
|Stuff that bonds to every known material except yours
|{{No|Probably not}}
|Another common annoyance when using an adhesive is that each glue type only forms an adhesive bond with certain materials. Poor prior research can cause much frustration when the chosen adhesive does not bond to one or both surfaces intended. In this case, the polymer would bond with every material except for the one you were using, always causing great distress and leaving you in a fix. This is similar to "Stuff that bonds permanently to skin and nothing else" above.
|}

==Transcript==

Standard 16-Part Epoxy

[An epoxy applicator with a single push bar connected to sixteen differently-colored syringes, each labeled]

Resin (coloured beige)

Hardener (mango yellow)

Filler (darker yellow)

Softener (cream)

Rosin (very light red)

Stuff that bonds permanently to skin and nothing else (yellow-dark green)

Stuff that will turn white and crack over a few days, for decorative appearance (light blue)

Placebo (white)

Minced duct tape (grey with a tint of green)

Acetone Fragrance (beige-yellow)

Powdered bar magnets (brown)

Polyethylvinylesteracetate (blue-white)

2-Polyethylvinylesteracetate (blue-white but slightly darker)

Salt and pepper to taste (light grey)

Blood sample from the Gorilla Glue gorillas (red)

Stuff that bonds to every known material except yours (beige)

==Trivia==

The syringe of 'Stuff that will crack and turn white over a few days, for decorative appearance' has light blue fill color on part of the wrong side of the plunger.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics with color]]

3114: Building a Fire

2026-05-18T04:27:05Z

Ello: Added "designed" in "Automatic sprinkler systems in buildings are typically designed to be triggered by fire and spray the area with water, wetting any potential fuel and dousing the fire before it spreads."

{{comic
| number = 3114
| date = July 11, 2025
| title = Building a Fire
| image = building_a_fire_2x.png
| imagesize = 671x311px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = That was quicker than usual! The cabin's sprinkler system often makes it really hard to keep anything lit.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] is demonstrating to [[Cueball]] how to build a campfire. She says she's going to use the {{w|Campfire#Construction_styles|"log cabin" method}}, which is a common [https://www.cabinlife.com/articles/the-5-best-campfire-lays-and-how-to-build-them/ method of laying out fuel for a small fire]. The concept is that sticks (or logs, for larger fires) of wood are placed in layers, with each layer consisting of two sticks placed parallel to one another, with a gap between them. Each subsequent layer is placed perpendicular to the first, so that the sticks bridge the gap in the layer below. This creates an open space in the center in which the tinder, and usually some kindling, is placed and ignited. This method is so named because it vaguely resembles the walls of {{w|log cabins}}, which are also built by placing wooden logs in perpendicular layers to enclose a central space, though on a much larger scale.

At first, Megan's build appears similar to a typical 'log cabin' fire lay. It becomes unusually and unnecessarily detailed when she adds interior walls and miniature furniture in the tiny dwelling, suggesting that she's not just laying out fuel for a fire, but actually going to the trouble of building a miniature log cabin, with all the details and components of a real living space. Things truly take a twist toward the bizarre, however, when she adds plumbing and electrical components to the house. This is not only a complex model, but a structure that apparently includes all the functionality one would expect in a modern dwelling. A fault in the installed wiring then initiates a fire, leading to the promised campfire. Stripped of the complexity, Megan effectively built a campfire which was ignited by electrical heating. Igniting a fire with electricity (either using {{w|electric spark}}s or {{w|Joule_heating|resistive heating}}) is a real method, but not particularly common for campfires. Simulating a common cause of accidental {{w|structure_fire|house fires}}, which are both dangerous and traumatic (tens of thousands of people are killed in house fires every year), is somewhat morbid, which may be the reason Cueball seems so horrified.

The title text continues the joke, in that she usually finds that it needs more time for the fire to ignite, due to also installing a {{w|fire sprinkler system}}. Automatic sprinkler systems in buildings are typically designed to be triggered by fire and spray the area with water, wetting any potential fuel and dousing the fire before it spreads. The level of detail in Megan's cabin is not only wildly unnecessary, it's actively counterproductive to her supposed purpose of starting a fire. This campfire was only started rapidly because the sprinkler system didn't work properly.

Megan says that she is going to build a square cabin, and this may be a reference to [[2891: Log Cabin]], as the log cabin contained a logarithmic spiral, and this square cabin is just a normal cabin.
==Transcript==

:[A tent in a field stands in the background to the left of Cueball, who stands behind Megan, who is kneeling and arranging sticks into the first few layers of a small log cabin.]
:Cueball: Can you show me how to build a campfire?
:Megan: Sure! We'll use the log cabin method.
:Megan: First, we build a square cabin out of sticks.

:[Cueball now stands to the right of frame, opposite Megan with the cabin between them. The cabin has gotten taller and is becoming better defined. Megan holds a tiny table in one hand and tiny chair in the other.]
:Megan: Next, we'll add interior walls, doors, and some cabin furniture made from twigs.
:Cueball: This is very elaborate.

:[The cabin now has a gable roof and an electrical wire leads from the base of the cabin to a coil of wire in Megan's hand and then off panel to the left. Lightning symbols above the wire indicate the wire is energized and perhaps shorting out.]
:Megan: Now we'll add some rudimentary plumbing and electrical wiring. 50 amps, nothing fancy.
:Cueball: It kind of seems like you're just building a cabin.
:Megan: I just —
:Megan: ...oops.

:[The tiny log cabin is engulfed in flames. Cueball is leaning away from the cabin and holding his hand to shield his face from the heat.]
:Megan: I think my wiring wasn't up to code.
:Cueball: ''AAAAA!''
:Megan: ...and that's how you build a fire!

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

2024: Light Hacks

2026-05-17T17:50:55Z

Ello: Added explanation of the unlikeliness of the "Distract an advanced civilization and build a smaller dyson sphere inside theirs" prank.

<noinclude>{{distinguish|2875: 2024}}</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2024
| date = July 25, 2018
| title = Light Hacks
| image = light_hacks.png
| titletext = Life hack: Wait for an advanced civilization to be briefly distracted, then sneak in and construct a slightly smaller Dyson sphere inside theirs.
}}

==Explanation==
"{{w|Life hack}}ing" is the practice of using common everyday items in novel ways to increase the convenience or enjoyment of daily activities. This comic pokes fun at the many blogs and video channels that purport to cover life hacking tips, but merely point out obvious or intended uses for products or well known techniques as low effort clickbait.

[[Megan]] tells someone off panel that, by using sheets of paper, she can reflect and diffuse the light coming from a lightbulb. She refers to her discovery as a life hack, while the person off-panel sarcastically points out that all she has done is reinvent the lampshade, to which Megan again refers to as a life hack.

A {{w|Dyson sphere}} is a hypothetical energy-collecting megastructure encompassing a star, and collecting a large percent of its energy in the process. It is named after the physicist and mathematician {{w|Freeman Dyson}}.

The joke here is that Dyson spheres are generally not intended for lightbulbs,{{Citation needed}} yet using them in this way is suggested by Megan as a life hack, poking fun at the fact that life hacks make things more complicated instead of convenient. Freeman Dyson argued that Dyson spheres, if they existed, could be found by infrared surveys, as large objects that would emit infrared radiation. [https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/ikea-ps-2014-pendant-lamp-white-silver-color-00311498/ IKEA pendant lampshades] are spherical shells that surround the bulb. Megan claims studies have tried to use infrared surveys to find Dyson spheres at Ikea locations, without success. When the other person tells her the easier way, searching for it online, she eagerly refers to his method as another life hack, much to the other person's annoyance.

The title text creates a different sort of confusion of the term lifehack, with another sort of popular clickbait videos. Described activity, if done, would be considered a prank - depriving the distractible civilization of their sunlight and energy source, while redirecting the energy to Earth. However, this sort of prank would be extremely hard to pull off as the target civilization would have to be unaware of the smaller dyson sphere for decades if not centuries during which it is built, which Randall ironically calls "briefly distracted".

==Transcript==
:[Megan walks to the right, holding a sheet of paper and a light bulb]
:Megan: I discovered a cool life hack - you can put a white sheet behind a lightbulb to reflect more light.
:Off-panel voice: I'm ... not sure that's a life hack.

:[Megan stops, and positions the light bulb between two sheets of paper]
:Megan: And you can put a sheet in front to diffuse the light.
:Off-panel voice: So you've invented the lampshade.
:Megan: '''''Life hacks!'''''

:Megan: Freeman Dyson suggested that advanced civilizations would build spherical shells that surrounded their bulbs, redirecting 100% of their energy.
:Off-panel voice: Yes, they have those at IKEA.

:Megan: Well, they might. Infrared surveys are inconclusive.
:Off-panel voice: You know you can just check their website.
:Megan: Ooh, great life hack!
:Off-panel voice: ''No!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]