explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3124: Grounded

2025-08-04T21:58:36Z

Guest:

{{comic
| number = 3124
| date = August 4, 2025
| title = Grounded
| image = grounded_2x.png
| imagesize = 294x335px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We should have you at the gate in just under two hours--two and a half if we get pulled over.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a COP ASKING IF THE PILOT KNOWS WHY THEY WERE PULLED OVER. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic depicts a plane that has been delayed due to unfavourable weather. The pilot and first officer have considered simply driving to the destination instead of waiting for favorable weather to fly, noting that they have considered their max taxiing speed and bridge clearance heights. Driving a plane is impractical and illegal due to the size of the vehicle. The title text further extends the joke, it says that driving might get them pulled over, and further extend the drive. However, the drive will probably not be extended by only 30 minutes, and the plane will probably be caught and stopped, which will result in the drive/flight being cancelled.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
[Plane connected to airport in picture]
This is your captain speaking. As you've probably noticed, we're still grounded due to weather
but the first officer and I have been looking at bridge clearance maps and our top taxing speed, And we have an idea.
[Voice is coming from the plane]

[Title text]
We should have you at the gate in just under two hours--two and a half if we get pulled over.
{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

User:Guest

2020-07-18T22:59:21Z

Guest: Created page with "re(tarded(CAPTCHA wouldn't let me create a new account, because it thought I was a robot and wouldn't let me in (even if I clicked on all the pictures of cars, fire hydrants,..."

re(tarded(CAPTCHA wouldn't let me create a new account, because it thought I was a robot and wouldn't let me in (even if I clicked on all the pictures of cars, fire hydrants, or whatever), so I had to get an account from BugMeNot and change the password. This account is mine now. [[User:guest|Theresa Hendren/KMF]] ([[User talk:guest|talk]]) 22:59, 18 July 2020 (UTC)

2334: Slide Trombone

2020-07-18T22:24:50Z

Guest: Undo revision 194833 by 162.158.63.136 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2334
| date = July 17, 2020
| title = Slide Trombone
| image = slide_trombone.png
| titletext = Remember the CPS 2000, the super soaker that was discontinued because it was too powerful? Relatedly, can I borrow your tuba?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a conspiracy to keep the masses from rebelling by preventing them from having powerful super soakers. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Might be nice to mention how the super soaker worked; which relates to why the trombone makes a hissing noise which younger readers may not understand. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic, [[Megan]] carries her "old" trombone. The people offscreen do not know what's coming until it turns out that the trombone contains a water gun and she soaks the people offscreen. This super soaker is also referenced in [[220: Philosophy]] and [[517: Marshmallow Gun]]. If the water gun featured in this comic is the same as that depicted in previous comics, it would likely be a [http://www.isoaker.com/Armoury/Analysis/1991/super_soaker_ss50.php Super Soaker 50], the first widely available pressurized water gun. It could also be the less common but earlier model the [http://www.isoaker.com/Armoury/Analysis/1990/power_drencher.php Power Drencher] or the later [http://www.isoaker.com/Armoury/Analysis/1992/super_soaker_ss50c.php SS 50 Classic Series], [http://www.isoaker.com/Armoury/Analysis/1992/super_soaker_se.php Super Soaker S.E.], or [http://www.isoaker.com/Armoury/Analysis/2009/super_soaker_ss50_20th.php the 20th anniversary SS 50 rerelease].

The hissing noise in the second panel is the sound of air being pushed by the pump into the water gun's pressure chamber. This air increases the pressure within the water reservoir, and it is this pressure that pushes a stream of water out of the super soaker.

In this title text, the [http://www.isoaker.com/Armoury/Analysis/1996/super_soaker_cps2000.php CPS 2000] was a powerful water gun developed primarily by {{w| Lonnie Johnson (inventor)}} and Bruce D'Andrade for {{w| Larami}}'s {{w| Super Soaker}} product line. As mentioned, the water gun was allegedly discontinued because it was ''too'' powerful and caused injuries. Megan asks to borrow a tuba, presumably to hide the CPS 2000 water gun inside; this may be cause for loss of friendship with an experienced tuba player.

The CPS in the name of the super soaker refers to the "{{w|Constant Pressure System}}" used in certain water guns. In this system a rubber bladder within the water gun is pressurized by the user's pumping action, which draws water from a reservoir and pushes it into the pressure chamber, filling the bladder like a balloon. Once the desired volume of water is stored within the toy, the water can be released by means of a spring loaded trigger and valve system. Like a balloon expelling air, the rubber bladder pushes the water out of the pressure chamber and out of the front nozzle. The "constant pressure" name refers to the fact that the bladder will exert the same pressure on the water throughout the shot, ensuring consistent power and range. This is in comparison to air pressure super soakers, whose power will die off during the shot as the pressurized air within the pressure chamber expands, expelling the water but reducing the pressure in the toy. This CPS technology can be seen in [https://patents.google.com/patent/US5799827 this patent] by Bruce D'Andrade.

Brass can likely withstand higher pressures than the plastic material of super soakers. High pressure jets of water and abrasive are used to cut metal with precision in prototyping labs and some makerspaces.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Megan walking with a trombone.]
:Offpanel voice #1: Hey, her old trombone.
:Offpanel voice #2: Cool, I haven't seen that thing since the 90s.

:Slide
:Hisss
:Slide
:Hisss

:[Megan's trombone shoots water at the offpanel observers.]
:Pshhhhh
:Offpanel voice #1: AUGH!
:Offpanel voice #2: So ''that's'' where my Super Soaker went.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1597: Git

2019-05-25T07:47:21Z

Guest: /* This is Git */ template:w

{{comic
| number = 1597
| date = October 30, 2015
| title = Git
| image = git.png
| titletext = If that doesn't fix it, git.txt contains the phone number of a friend of mine who understands git. Just wait through a few minutes of 'It's really pretty simple, just think of branches as...' and eventually you'll learn the commands that will fix everything.
}}

==Explanation==
===This is Git===
{{w|Git (software)|Git}} is a version control system, used to manage the code in many millions of software projects. It is very powerful, and was amongst the first widely adopted tools to use a distributed version control model (the "beautiful {{w|graph theory}} {{w|Tree (graph theory)|tree model}}"), meaning that there is no single central repository of code. Instead, users share code back and forth to synchronise their repositories, and it is up to each project to define processes and procedures for managing the flow of changes into a stable software product.

===How do we use it?===
Although very powerful, the command line of Git is notoriously difficult to learn and master. Dozens of blog posts and websites (see [http://think-like-a-git.net/epic.html], [http://stevebennett.me/2012/02/24/10-things-i-hate-about-git/]), and even books ([http://blog.anvard.org/conversational-git/chapter-01.html], [http://git-scm.com/book/en/v2]) have been written to help users navigate this complexity.

The difficulty of using Git in common situations is contradicted by the apparent simplicity of its use in tutorial-style situations. Committing and sharing changes is fairly straightforward, for instance, but recovering from situations such as accidental commits, pushes or bad merges is difficult without a solid understanding of the rather large and complex conceptual model. For instance, three of the top five highest voted questions on Stack Overflow are questions about how to carry out relatively simple tasks: undoing the last commit, changing the last commit message, and deleting a remote branch.

This comic thus explores the difference between the idealised view of Git's architecture, and its actual typical usage. Tutorials for Git tend to use simple systems in their examples, and only deal with the most basic commands to get started, which can create the misleading impression that Git can be used effectively without extensive study.

Due to this problem, compounded by the fact that Git's commands are named differently from similar commands in other version control systems, many users (including Cueball) are unable to use it beyond basic commands, and might try to avoid problems by saving their code outside Git, downloading a newer copy, and then re-applying their changes to the new copy instead of trying to understand and use the features that exist in Git to accomplish this task.

===Memorize these shell commands===
Cueball suggests "just memoriz[ing] these shell commands and type them to sync up". He is probably referring to a sequence of commands such as:

git pull
# remote changes have now been received, so work on your file
git add file.txt
git commit -m "Added some text"
git push

===If you get errors...===
As long as every contributor to the project follows these principles, this may suffice for a while. But many situations may cause "errors":

* merge conflicts (two people editing the same part of the same file)
* unmerged changes (another person committed a change before you did, so you need to merge their changes first)
* attempting to recover from a situation such as an accidental merge, and making the situation worse.

In a situation such as a merge conflict, Git will show an error message such as:

CONFLICT (modify/delete): README.md deleted in HEAD and modified in branch-b. Version branch-b of README.md left in tree.
# Automatic merge failed; fix conflicts and then commit the result.

===Save your work elsewhere...===
Although Git experts can of course deal with such situations, the remedy proposed by Cueball is "save your work elsewhere, delete the project, and download a fresh copy". That is, to copy the files out of their local repository's working directory, delete that whole structure, then clone the remote repository again (and, implicitly, copy the saved work back again):

# Copy files elsewhere
mkdir /tmp/myproject
cp * /tmp/myproject
cd ..
# delete the project
rm -rf myproject

# Download a fresh copy
git clone https://github.com/myorg/myproject
cd myproject

# Copy saved work
cp /tmp/myproject/* .

Abandoning the old project likely means losing some work, but may be faster and give a more predictable outcome than attempting to salvage the situation. Applying this method to a mere merge conflict issue may prolong the issue however, as the merge conflicts may still be present.

===Title text===
The title text suggests an alternative method for working around Git's complexities, which reflects common practice: knowing a "Git expert" who can help in any situation. Such experts are somewhat notorious for waxing lyrically about Git's strengths, so it may be necessary to win their favour by first letting them ramble enthusiastically about it. They will hopefully eventually give the exact commands needed. In practice, the question-and-answer site Stack Overflow is frequently used for this exact purpose.

It may even be a reference to the infamous tweet "[https://twitter.com/agnoster/status/44636629423497217 Git gets easier once you get the basic idea that branches are homeomorphic endofunctors mapping submanifolds of a Hilbert space]" which has been [http://www.beyondjava.net/blog/git-explained-in-really-simple-words/ discussed here] but it is inconclusive whether a meaningful interpretation exists.

Putting a telephone number of someone who "understands Git" into such a file is humorous because:
*Software teams would more normally use electronic means of communication
*Explaining Git over the phone to team members should not be necessary, as there is extensive help available online, and
*In the situation where many team members would need phone support to avoid or fix basic Git problems, this would be extremely distracting to the person whose phone number was given in the file.

=== TL;DR===
In short: programmers use {{w|Version control|version control systems}} to track changes to code. Most of these version control systems are quite similar and easy to learn if you already know another one. Git is a version control system based on completely different principles, and most programmers find it difficult to wrap their heads around it (although Git also offers a large number of nontrivial benefits over standard version control systems, which is why it is used). Cueball is one of those programmers.

== Trivia ==

This comic is referenced on ''{{what if|153}}'', the page where Randall, due to a problem with git, erroneously posted a draft of his [[what if?]] piece on peptides. As of December 17th, 2016 the page reads:

:;Whoops
:This article is still in progress. An early draft was unintentionally posted here thanks to Randall's {{xkcd|1597|troubled approach to git}}, and it took a little bit to get everything sorted out and rolled back. Sorry for the mixup!

The comic [[1296: Git Commit]] also features Git.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball points to a computer on a desk while Ponytail and Hairy are standing further away behind an office chair.]
:Cueball: This is git. It tracks collaborative work on projects through a beautiful distributed graph theory tree model.
:Ponytail: Cool. How do we use it?
:Cueball: No idea. Just memorize these shell commands and type them to sync up. If you get errors, save your work elsewhere, delete the project, and download a fresh copy.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Git]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Internet]]

1457: Feedback

2018-08-19T16:34:01Z

Guest: correct size of headline

{{comic
| number = 1457
| date = December 8, 2014
| title = Feedback
| image = feedback.png
| titletext = A new study finds that if you give rats a cell phone and a lever they can push to improve the signal, the rats will chew on the cell phone until it breaks and your research supervisors will start to ask some questions about your grant money.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a joke about the psychological theory that animals conditioned using seemingly random rewards and punishments promotes superstitious behavior, and then extrapolates this theory to humans and Wi-Fi or (more likely) Cellular signal integrity.

Often when connecting to unfamiliar Wi-Fi networks or when in a poorly covered area of a cell network, the signal displayed by the connecting device varies wildly, especially as distance increases. Poor wireless signal and drops in connection can be extremely frustrating, and hence [[Cueball]] has likely tried a variety of methods to improve the signal. As a result of his desperation, he replicates scenarios that are unlikely methods to increase his signal, but in some way mirror conditions where he has been successful finding a signal in the past. His past conditions have somehow led him to having the superstition that holding a pineapple while standing on top of a chair may resolve the problem. Likely, the signal increased at random while he was standing on a chair holding the pineapple, and he erroneously concluded that the chair and pineapple ''caused'' the signal strength increase. It is almost inconceivable that this technique could have any positive effect on the signal{{Citation needed}}. This is related to the idea in comic [[552: Correlation]].

[[Megan]] questions his ridiculous behavior, but it seems Cueball has become extremely erratic due to the inconsistent signal strength.

The title text refers to a fictive study that apparently examined the behavior of rats in response to signal strength on a cellphone. It is a reference to {{w|B. F. Skinner}}'s experiments. In these experiments, rats and, more frequently cited, pigeons are taught superstitious behavior by being rewarded at random intervals. In this new experiment the rats naturally could not understand the concept of signal strength, so they chewed up the cellphone, leading to the research supervisors questioning the validity of the study and questioning whether the grant money for the study was well used.

===Skinner's real experiment===
Skinner placed a series of hungry pigeons in a cage attached to an automatic mechanism that delivered food to the pigeon "at regular intervals with no reference whatsoever to the bird's behavior." He discovered that the pigeons associated the delivery of the food with whatever chance actions they had been performing as it was delivered, and that they subsequently continued to perform these same actions.

One bird was conditioned to turn counter-clockwise about the cage, making two or three turns between reinforcements. Another repeatedly thrust its head into one of the upper corners of the cage. A third developed a 'tossing' response, as if placing its head beneath an invisible bar and lifting it repeatedly. Two birds developed a pendulum motion of the head and body, in which the head was extended forward and swung from right to left with a sharp movement followed by a somewhat slower return. Skinner suggested that the pigeons behaved as if they were influencing the automatic mechanism with their "rituals" and that this experiment shed light on human behavior.

==Transcript==
:Megan: Why are you standing on a chair holding a pineapple?
:Cueball: ''I wasn't getting good reception but now I am!''
:The erratic feedback from a randomly-varying wireless signal can make you crazy.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1446: Landing

2018-08-19T16:32:40Z

Guest: Frame by Frame Breakdown should be part of explanation

{{comic
| number = 1446
| date = November 12, 2014
| title = Landing
| image = landingAnimated.gif
| titletext = [LIVE]
}}
Frames of the comic began appearing at midnight ({{w|Eastern Time Zone|EST}}) on November 12, 2014 and updated every five minutes. Together, the images form a {{w|flip book}} which is shown here above. You can find the individual images by clicking on the latest image of the comic on xkcd

==Explanation==
This comic changed over time during 12 hours and 15 minutes starting at 0:00 EST (when the comic normally is released) posting 143 pictures that tracked the progress of the {{w|Philae (spacecraft)|Philae}} lander separating from the {{w|European Space Agency}}'s {{w|Rosetta (spacecraft)|Rosetta}} probe to land on comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. More info can be found here: [http://rosetta.esa.int rosetta.esa.int].

The comic presents the imagined anthropomorphic "thoughts" of the Rosetta spacecraft and the Philae lander (and occasionally other parties) during the hours approaching separation from each other, approach to the comet and finally the apparently successful landing on the comet.

Beginning at [[Media:???65.png|11:05]], the comic includes a '''"Status Report"''' in the lower right corner which summarizes the status of various interested parties and accomplishments, beginning with "Rosetta", "Philae lander", "Mission Control", "Comet 67P", and "Have we landed on a comet?". As events occur in the comic, more status summaries are added to keep track of the changes to the situation and the supposed emotions behind them.

In many pictures a whale can be seen on the surface of the comet - often marked with a "?" as are almost all other parts of the unknown surface at this time. There is also drawn a [[Cueball]] on the surface also marked with a "?" Both are then at some point marked with a ''probably not'' - starting from [[Media:???83.png|12:35]]. The whales are also mentioned in the "Status Report" where they for instance may be listed as "calm" or "(probably) not in space". At [[Media:???122.png|16:00]] the when the entire Earth goes ''AAAAAAAAAAA'' the whales are listed as saying this as well (along with Mission control and U.S. scientists). From this moment "Dolphins and fish" are also mentioned in the report. They are asking if it is the whales that scream. The reference to whales comes from the fact that Philae brought along two harpoons that should have been used to anchor it to the comet. On Earth, harpoons have mainly been used to hunt whales; Randall previously brought up that comparison in [[1402: Harpoons]], suggesting that Philae was programmed to believe it was sent to kill the comet. It is Philae that "dreams" about whales on the surface of the comet which can be seen in the picture for [[Media:???93.png|13:25]] and in the status report.

Some {{w|Douglas Adams}} fans believe these whales and dolphins are references to ''{{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}'' and ''{{w|So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish}}.'' Whales in space have been appearing in fiction and art since the 1960s. However, with the above-mentioned reasons for whales, dolphins and fish, this seems less and less likely.

At [[Media:???115.png|15:25]] Rosetta asks Philea about destroying and levitating rocks via mind control. This is a reference to the [https://www.google.de/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCEQtwIwAGoVChMI6OrLs9vOyAIVxw8sCh2jqQa2&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D32vlOgN_3QQ&usg=AFQjCNH3G-TSemi22v4xwQ6lDkWH_RJSeg Ambition] short movie, ESA commitioned to gather public awareness of the Rosetta mission.

Shortly after release from Rosetta ([[Media:???56.png|10:15]]), Philae calls out 'Spaaaaaaaaaace'; this mimics the {{w|Portal 2}} 'Space core' who, on finally reaching space in the last scenes, gives the same elated cry.

US Scientists presumably wake up at 7:40 EST ([[Media:???96.png|13:40]] UTC) and in the report they now says "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?" to indicate their tiredness. This does not change until 10:25 EST ([[Media:???115.png|15:25]] UTC) so they are slow to wake (2 hours 45 minutes). At this point, they becomes anxious as there are only 10 minutes to landing. This last until there is 15 minutes until news of landing (a reference to the 28 minutes time delay due to the huge distance to the comet). From then on ([[Media:???120.png|15:50]]) they and the mission control (MC) say "AAAAAAA". They stop this when the news should be there - the NOW ([[Media:???122a.png|16:05]]) - and everybody holds their breath indicated by [...] - also MC. Finally ([[Media:???125.png|16:25]]) they and MC become proud (along with Earth) when Philae announces ''I got you a comet.'' It should have stopped there but as Philae bounced around, they then becomes anxious again [[Media:???128.png|16:40]], and then this changes to nervous [[Media:???129.png|16:45]] (switching those emotions with MC). And then suddenly ([[Media:???130.png|16:50]]) it is no longer US Scientists but just plain Scientists - that are nervous. It stays like this during the last few pictures, although they again become anxious, but when Philae announces ''I did it'', they drink wine as indicated with "[wine]" in the report from the second to last picture ([[Media:???134.png|17:10]]).

Randall has written "A big thank-you to [https://twitter.com/elakdawalla Emily Lakdawalla] for help and advice on this comic" in the xkcd page header for [http://www.xkcd.com/1446/ Landing], revealing the possible source of his near real-time data.

At [[Media:???124.png|16:20]] the status report had announced a big '''Yes''' to the questions "Have we landed on a comet" and "Do harpoons work on comets". According to [http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-30026398 BBC News], the harpoons did, however, not fire as planned and the lander may have landed, bounced off, and landed again. This would explain the change in "Do harpoons work on comets" to "Don't know" at [[Media:???127.png|16:35]] and the change in "Have we landed on a comet?" to "Yes, at least once" at [[Media:???130.png|16:50]]. According to [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/13/science/space/european-space-agencys-spacecraft-lands-on-comets-surface.html?_r=0 The New York Times], radio contact with Philae fluctuated, which would explain the "Anxious", "Nervous", and "Confused" statuses around that time. In the end the lander did land and whereas the Do harppons work status did not change, so did the have we landed on a comet which changed back to '''Yes''' at [[Media:???134.png|17:10]].

The lander bounced three times and ended up in a place where the solar panels where mainly in the shadow. This resulted in the lander shutting down when its own battery ran out of power after only 2–3 days on the ground. This seemed sad, as there was only a small chance that the seasons on the comet would change so that the panels would later receive sun again. However, in the few hours that Philae had on the ground, it still managed to analyze the surface and obtain a lot of useful data - so that part of the mission was still a success already. This all happened after the comic stopped updating.

On June 13, 2015, it was announced that signals had been received on earth indicating that Philae had awoken and that the solar panels were functioning. Ironically, had Philae landed in a place originally out of shadow, it would have already failed before this time (due to overheating), so it was actually fortunate that it landed as it did and would be able to operate during the time that the comet would be closer to the sun. To celebrate the lander's revival, Randall updated the comic, depicting the lander saying "Hi." on the comet's surface.

The comic title was originally "???" (probably to not give away too early what the comic was about), but changed to "Landing" when Randall came on live at five in the morning EST. At that moment the title text also changed from "..." to "[LIVE]". It was also then that the timestamps' timezone switch. At 5:00 AM (EST) the time stamp in the picture naming scheme switched from EST to {{w|Coordinated Universal Time|UTC}} as used in ESA's time keeping, resulting in a jump from [[Media:???53.png|04:55]] to [[Media:???54.png|10:00]] without actually any such delay between the two pictures.

There were however a few pictures with more than 5 minutes of delay (about 11 times five minutes without an update in total during the "live" transmission). The update seemed to have stopped after 137 pictures at 17:15 UTC, 12 hours and 15 minutes after the first picture. (The first picture has number 0, so the last had number 136). But later, sometime after 17:15 UTC, the counter for the last picture was increased to 142 (143 pictures in total), so maybe Randall inserted 6 extra pictures later - however he must then have changed the numbers on the pictures, since the last picture remained the same until mid-June, but with number 142 instead of 136. It is thus now difficult to find out which pictures would have been added later. However, eight pictures were not included in the original table with the [[#Frame by Frame Breakdown|Frame by Frame Breakdown]] below. So it must have been some of those missing pictures that were added later - maybe all of them, as the last three may already have been added before the last picture was released (All 143 pictures are included in the flip-book gif image shown here above). But even 143 pictures at 5 minutes intervals only spans 11 hours and 50 minutes, thus there are still five ''5 minute intervals'' without any picture. See which in the [[1446: Landing/Frame by Frame Breakdown|table]].

The Rosetta space probe is shown in [[1621: Fixion]], which explains the {{w|Flyby anomaly}} experienced the first time (of three) the probe got close to Earth.

===Frame by Frame Breakdown===
*Here is a [[1446: Landing/Frame by Frame Breakdown|link to a table]] with a frame by frame breakdown of all 143 pictures.
*Here is a [[1446: Landing/All pictures|page with all the pictures]] frame by frame.

==Transcript==
:[This transcript gives only the text of the most [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/c/c7/%3F%3F%3F140.png recent picture] shown in the comic; that which is now shown when clicking to the comic on xkcd. This changed a few times after the live event ended.]

:[Showing Philae on a comet.]
:Time Since Landing: 211 days
:Philae: Hi!
:[Status report at the bottom-right corner.]
:Status report:
::Rosetta: In space
::Philae lander: Hi!
::Mission control: '''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''
::Scientists: '''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''
::Have we landed on a comet?: '''''YES.'''''
::Sun: Warm
::Comet: Big
::Philae, where ''ARE'' you?: Home

:[For the '''full transcript''' of all 143 pictures see '''[[1446: Landing/Transcript]]'''.]

==Trivia==
*There appears to be a brief error between 02:35 and 02:45, where the time until lander separation is shown as 1 hour, counting down to 50 minutes, before being corrected to 75 minutes at 02:50.
**Since this was supposed to be during the "non-live" section before Randall got up (and got live) it is not sure whether this was a "real" mistake, or if he was up anyway, and corrected this timing error when he discovered the plans had change during the approach flight.
*Later after the initial release of this comic Randall added a link to this page. It's the first time this wiki is mentioned at xkcd itself and it's viewable in the HTML-source or here: [https://xkcd.com/1446/info.0.json https://xkcd.com/1446/info.0.json]. The text is: ''"A very thorough explanation of the comic is available here: http:\n\nwww.explainxkcd.com\nwiki\nindex.php\n1446:_Landing"''.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color‏‎]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball‏‎]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]
[[Category:Animals‏‎]]

1413: Suddenly Popular

2018-08-19T16:27:15Z

Guest: List of the phrases should be part of the explanation

{{comic
| number = 1413
| date = August 27, 2014
| title = Suddenly Popular
| image = suddenly_popular.png
| titletext = Are Your Teens Practicing Amplexus? Learn These Six Telltale Signs!
}}

==Explanation==
Many phrases that used to be of mainly academic interest become popular when an important event or global trend is described with such phrases in the media. [[Randall]] presents a timeline of past examples, and predicts phrases that may be popularised in the near future. The past events are a mix of buzz words and words learned through disasters, crime and terrorism. The future events seem to be all related to natural disasters or other kinds of serious issues, except ''{{w|Amplexus}}'' — which is the joke of the title text — showing that no matter how many disasters there are, people are generally more concerned about their teenagers' sex lives.

The title text is also an example of a {{w|clickbait}} headline. Many organizations will post a link on social media to their content with a sensationalized headline in order to draw readers in. In this case, the headline is geared towards parents who are worried about their children being sexually active in this new ''Amplexus'' way. Such headlines are the internet's analog to television news' {{w|Promo (media)|promos}} ("A new trend among teens is sweeping the nation, but is it dangerous? Details at 11:00.").

{{w|Global catastrophic risks|Global catastrophic risk}} is a theme throughout this comic. Randall predicts a large asteroid impact/near miss and a volcanic eruption, followed by an {{w|impact winter}} or {{w|volcanic winter}}. An insect borne, global pandemic without a cure also strikes, and then the {{w|technological singularity}} occurs.

This comic has similar features to [[887: Future Timeline]].

===List of the phrases===
Below the phrases are listed with the closest year from the time-line noted behind the phrase. Note that this year does not necessarily match with the in-real-life relevant year. This may be found in the explanation of the phrase below. [https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=world+wide+web%2Cdna+evidence%2Cmilitia+movement%2Csupermax%2Cbutterfly+ballot%2Cal-qaeda%2Cwi-fi%2Ctsunami%2Cviral%2Cradicalize%2Cmetadata&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1900&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=0&share=&direct_url=t4%3B%2Cworld%20wide%20web%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3BWorld%20Wide%20Web%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bworld%20wide%20web%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BWORLD%20WIDE%20WEB%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cdna%20evidence%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3BDNA%20evidence%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BDNA%20Evidence%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cmilitia%20movement%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bmilitia%20movement%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BMilitia%20Movement%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BMilitia%20movement%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Csupermax%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bsupermax%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BSupermax%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BSUPERMAX%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BSuperMax%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cbutterfly%20ballot%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bbutterfly%20ballot%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BButterfly%20Ballot%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BButterfly%20ballot%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cal%20-%20qaeda%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bal%20-%20Qaeda%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BAl%20-%20Qaeda%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cwi%20-%20fi%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3BWi%20-%20Fi%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bwi%20-%20fi%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Ctsunami%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Btsunami%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BTsunami%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BTSUNAMI%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cviral%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bviral%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BViral%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BVIRAL%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cradicalize%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bradicalize%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BRadicalize%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cmetadata%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bmetadata%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BMetadata%3B%2Cc0 Google Books Ngram Viewer] can show the relative frequency of those words in function of the year.

;{{w|World Wide Web}} – 1994
:Though first proposed in 1989, and the first test being completed in 1990, it took until around 1994 for the {{w|World Wide Web|world wide web}} to start becoming well known.

;{{w|DNA profiling|DNA Evidence}} – 1995
:Prominent coverage of the {{w|O. J. Simpson murder trial}} in 1994 brought widespread discussion of {{w|DNA profiling|DNA Evidence}}, making it famous and showing its limitations.

;{{w|Militia Movement}} – 1996
:After the standoffs at {{w|Ruby Ridge}}, Idaho in 1992 and the {{w|Branch Davidians}} compound in Waco, Texas between U.S. Government Agencies and militias in 1993, people started becoming more aware of their presence, culminating with the 1995 {{w|Oklahoma City Bombing}} on the second anniversary of the fire at the Branch Davidians compound.

;{{w|Supermax prison|Supermax}} – 1997
:Super-Maximum security prisons. Possibly referring to the 1997 film {{w|Con Air}}, starring Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, and John Malkovich, in which prisoners being transferred to a new Supermax prison seize control of their transport plane. Also possibly referring to {{w|Timothy McVeigh}} and {{w|Terry Nichols}}, perpetrators of the aforementioned Oklahoma City bombing, who were incarcerated at {{w|ADX Florence}}, the former from the time of his arrest to 1999, and the latter from the time of his conviction to the present day.

[[File:Butterfly Voters View.jpg|thumb|A butterfly ballot]]
;{{w|butterfly ballot|Butterfly Ballot}} – 2000
:In the {{w|United States presidential election in Florida, 2000|United States presidential election in 2000, Florida}} had a major recount dispute that took center stage in the election. Thus, the outcome of the 2000 United States presidential election was not known for more than a month after balloting, because of the extended process of counting and then recounting of Florida presidential ballots. The {{w|butterfly ballot}} was the type of ballot design {{w|United States presidential election in Florida, 2000#Palm Beach County's butterfly ballots|used in Palm Beach County, Florida}}, and was a central issue in the election controversy. Evidence suggests that many voters who intended to vote for Gore or Bush actually marked their ballots for Pat Buchanan or spoiled their ballots, because of a confusing layout of the ballot.

;{{w|Al-Qaeda}} – 2002
:The {{w|September 11th terrorist attacks}} brought the al-Qaeda terrorist organisation into the spotlight almost overnight.

;{{w|Wi-Fi}} – 2003
:Wi-Fi, though developed in the 1990s, first became popular in the early 2000s.

;{{w|Tsunami}} – 2006
:There were a number of tsunamis around this time period, in particular the {{w|Boxing Day Tsunami}} which caused 230,000 deaths, and the {{w|2006 Pangandaran earthquake and tsunami}}. These were some of the first tsunamis to be widely captured on camera, bringing these previously obscure seismic events into the public eye.

;{{w|Viral}} – 2009
:In this context, the word viral is used to describe anything which spreads rapidly and widely on the internet. In particular an online video clip is said to have 'Gone Viral' or become a {{w|Viral video}} if it racks up a high number of views over a short time. This phenomenon has become especially prevalent due to users sharing content on {{w|Social media}}.

;{{w|Radicalization|Radicalize}} – 2011
:Due to the ongoing {{w|Syrian Civil War}}, and the relative ease with which one can travel from Europe to Syria by way of Turkey, there is growing concern about the risk of young Muslims in Europe (and, to a lesser extent, the United States) becoming {{w|radicalization|radicalized}} by indoctrination from fundamentalists either in their communities or on the Internet.

;{{w|Metadata}} – 2013
:Following the highly publicised 2013 leaks by {{w|Edward Snowden}} of information regarding the {{w|NSA}}'s indiscriminate surveillance of global communication metadata, awareness of the privacy value of such data became widespread, where once it was mostly familiar to IT professionals.

''From this point on, phrases were in the future at the time of publication.''

;{{w|Lahar}} – 2016
:A lahar is a mudslide caused by the eruption of a volcano that was covered with snow or ice. Randall is speculating on a future natural disaster being caused by such an incident. {{w|Bárðarbunga}} volcano covered with the {{w|Vatnajökull}} glacier on Iceland increased activity just a few days before publishing of this comic and may erupt in the near future.

;{{w|Insect-borne disease|Insect-Borne}} – 2019
:Some {{w|Category:Insect-borne diseases|diseases are insect-borne}}, meaning specific species of insects are the main vector in spreading to humans. {{w|Malaria}} is an example of an {{w|insect-borne disease}}. Randall predicts some severe (possibly deadly) insect-borne disease will emerge around this time. As of 2016, the Zika virus, which is transmitted by mosquitoes, has reached epidemic status in South America, and has spread to southern North America, Africa and Australia.

;{{w|Earth-crosser|Earth-Crossing}} – 2021
:Earth-crossers are asteroids that cross the orbit of Earth. Most of them remain harmless because their orbit doesn't actually intersect the earth's orbit in 3 dimensions, or for the foreseeable future, they will cross when Earth is not there. For this phrase to become popular, an Earth-crosser might have to reach the heretofore-unreached "threatening" level, rating a 5 or more on the {{w|Torino Scale}}, due to a significant chance of a large impact. As of 2014, there are no threats of that level known in the early 2020s. If the next two phrases are connected to this one, Randall is predicting a significant asteroid impact.

;{{w|Thermohaline circulation|Thermohaline}} – 2022
:Thermohaline circulation is the largest group of interconnected ocean currents, which stabilize global climate by equalizing the temperature and salinity of oceans around the world. If this phrase becomes popular, it implies the thermohaline circulation would have slowed or changed significantly. This might be caused by asteroid impact or by polar ice melting. The latter scenario was apocalyptically dramatized in the movie {{w|The Day After Tomorrow}}.

;{{w|Snow blindness|Snow-Blindness}} – 2024
:Snow blindness is an eye condition caused by excessive UV light reflected from snow and ice. This can lead to corneal damage and blindness (temporary, if treated properly). This phrase becoming popular might suggest a long {{w|impact winter}} (from the asteroid) or severe {{w|ozone depletion}} in cold regions of the world.

;{{w|Amplexus}} – 2025
:A form of non-penetrative reproduction carried out by some animals, for example frogs, involving grasping the partner with front legs. This may be connected to the other posts (some change in human society) or it may simply be a joke at how new sexual language/fads appear and hit mainstream media from time to time (for example a number of acts gained fame from Sex and the City). This also ties in with the title text, which imagines a sensationalist headline suggesting teenagers may be doing this.

;{{w|Aquaplaning|Controlled Hydroplaning}} – 2028
:Hydroplaning occurs when a vehicle tire comes in contact with a puddle in such a way that the water builds up between the tire and the road surface. The film of water, having a much lower coefficient of friction than the road surface, causes the tire to lose traction. Typically, in this scenario, the driver isn't planning to hydroplane and loses control of the vehicle. In theory, controlled hydroplaning would be achieved when the driver plans for it ahead of time. This could be necessary if, in this hypothetical future, most of the roads are flooded since the impact winter (after only four years) ends and thus a great thaw causes all roads to become wet all the time.

;{{w|Paradoxical reaction|Paradoxical Reaction}} – 2031
:"paradoxical reaction" is a medical term for when the outcome of a medical treatment, typically the taking of a drug, is the opposite of that expected. For example if taking a pain relieving medication made the pain worse. For this term to suddenly become well known, a large scale or particularly notable case must have taken place (such as the insect-borne disease of 2019). Or, this and the following (and maybe the last as well) phrases may refer to the events from {{w|The Evitable Conflict}} by Isaac Asimov (and its very loose but much more popular film adaptation {{w|I,_Robot_(film)|I, Robot}}) where robots, instructed with the {{w|Three Laws of Robotics}}, take over the world to prevent humans hurting each other. The paradoxical reaction is that these laws were specifically designed to, among other things, prevent robots from taking over the world in the first place.

;{{w|Desertion|Drone Desertion}} – 2033
:Desertion is the abandonment of a post or duty, usually military in nature. With the increasing use of autonomous drones by the military this hints at an event where drones 'decide' to desert, possibly due to unspecified advances in {{w|Artificial Intelligence}} and {{w|Robot Rights}}. Or maybe they just start following the {{w|Three Laws of Robotics}}.

;{{w|Human hair growth|Rapid Hair Growth}} – 2034
:Maybe some humans have developed a very rapid hair growth (presumably on the entire body) through evolution and natural selection caused by the cold years of the impact winter.

;{{w|Oath#Divine oath|I Swear Allegiance To The God-Empress In Life And In Death}} – 2038
:This is a {{w|Oath#Divine oath|divine oath}}. A possible explanation is that after the impact and the desertion of the drones predicted for 2033, a strong fraction has made their leader divine, and everyone now has to swear allegiance to this new God-Empress using this phrase - which would certainly make it a very "popular" phrase. The phrase [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodEmperor God-Emperor] was popularized in the science-fiction work ''Dune'' in 1965 and has been repeatedly referenced since, notably in the tabletop game Warhammer 40,000 (and related media).

==Transcript==
:Obscure words and phrases everyone suddenly becomes very familiar with.
:[A time line to the left is marked of by several phrases to the right around the time they became familiar to the public:]
::← World Wide Web
::← DNA Evidence
:1995
::← Militia Movement
::← Supermax
:2000
::← Butterfly Ballot
::← Al-Qaeda
::← Wi-Fi
:2005
::← Tsunami
::← Viral
:2010
::← Radicalize
::← Metadata
:2015
::← Lahar
::← Insect-Borne
:2020
::← Earth-Crossing
::← Thermohaline
::← Snow-Blindness
:2025
::← Amplexus
::← Controlled Hydroplaning
:2030
::← Paradoxical Reaction
::← Drone Desertion
::← Rapid Hair Growth
:2035
::← I Swear Allegiance To The God-Empress In Life And In Death
:2040

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]

138: Pointers

2018-08-19T16:23:24Z

Guest: move Alternate Explanation below real one

{{comic
| number = 138
| date = August 7, 2006
| title = Pointers
| image = pointers.png
| titletext = Every computer, at the unreachable memory address 0x-1, stores a secret. I found it, and it is that all humans ar—SEGMENTATION FAULT.
}}

== Explanation ==
This comic is about a play on the dual meaning of the word "pointer." [[Cueball]] is playing a video game, but he seems to be stuck. So he asks [[Black Hat]] for a few tips ("pointers") to progress in the game. Black Hat is, as usual, annoying, so he spits out a couple of (seemingly random) 32-bit hexadecimal addresses, which are "{{w|Pointer (computer programming)|pointers}}" in a programming language. These pointers are used to access a certain location in the computer's memory in order to fulfill a task; however, this would not be helpful in the game. Cueball is then annoyed at [[Black Hat]] for not answering his question.

A {{w|segmentation fault}}, as referred to in the title text, is a result by accessing invalid memory addresses. If you define a pointer to an invalid address, then try to access the memory location associated with it, you could end up with this exception. The hexadecimal address 0x-1 is definitely invalid, because it's out of range. If you treat pointers as signed numbers, it points below the lowest address, 0; if you treat them as unsigned (meaning the numbers wrap around, so -1 is the same as the highest address - 0xFFFFFFFF on a 32-bit system), if it's pointing at any object larger than a byte, most of that object is past the highest address. So, this is a "hidden location," but as soon as you try to read more than one byte at that location, you will get a segfault.

The ending letters of the pointers are spelling, reading top to bottom, the word ACE. As Cueball is playing a game, Black Hat could be additionally saying that he's an ace of the game.

=== Alternate Explanation ===
Pointers are often used to cheat in games and do things like change the amount of money you have. The pointers Black Hat spits out could also be cheat codes giving an extra reason for Cueball to hate him.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is playing a video game, with Black Hat standing behind him.]
:Cueball: Man, I suck at this game. Can you give me a few pointers?
:Black Hat: 0x3A28213A 0x6339392C, 0x7363682E.
:Cueball: I hate you.

{{Comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1297: Oort Cloud

2018-08-19T16:13:24Z

Guest: move perspective to explanation

{{comic
| number = 1297
| date = November 29, 2013
| title = Oort Cloud
| image = oort_cloud.png
| titletext = ...I wanna try. Hang on, be right back.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Oort cloud}} is a hypothesized sphere containing many {{w|small Solar System bodies}}, reaching out to roughly 50,000 {{w|Astronomical unit|AU (astronomical units)}} or nearly one {{w|light-year}} from the sun. Gravitational forces from passing stars or collisions with other objects sometimes perturb one of these bodies enough to let it fall into the inner solar system. When it gets closer to the Sun, which is just a bright dot at that far distance, it warms up and some of its mass is lost as gas and dust, making it more visible as an object commonly referred to as a comet. This is what has happened to a comet called {{w|C/2013 UQ4}}, AKA Comet Catalina. And although this is not what will happen to Catalina, comets that get close enough to the sun may break up entirely.

There seems to be no definitive astronomical definition of the word "comet", and definitions can be challenging and problematic [http://suitti.livejournal.com/56460.html?nojs=1], but in general terms a comet is a celestial object consisting of a nucleus containing a huge amount of ices and dust which, when near the sun, has an atmosphere (called {{w|Comet#Coma and tail|coma}}) and perhaps a 'tail' of ionized gas and dust particles pointing away from the sun.

The comet pictured here upon its return strangely resembles the unusual asteroid {{w|P/2013 P5}}. That object sported six comet-like tails, but it's not a comet. Rather, the six comet-like tails were suspected to be caused by rapid spinning of that object.

Randal has drawn the hapless Oort Cloud object with its tails generally left of frame, i.e. away from the sun. Comet tails point away from the sun regardless of their direction of movement, as they are blown out by the solar wind which moves much faster than the comet. As neither of the other two objects have tails, this lends the picture a comical cartoon-like quality, as when Yosemite Sam is blasted by his own gun and it leaves his moustache tails statically pointing away from the direction of the blast.

{{w|C/2012 S1|Comet ISON}} presumably came from the Oort cloud and reached its closest approach to the sun ({{w|Apsis|perihelion}}) on the day before this comic was published. The comet passed very close to the sun, at a distance of 1,860,000 kilometers or 1,150,000 miles from the centre of the sun. It was thus within one sun-diameter of the surface of the sun itself (diameter of sun = 1,391,000 km). At that distance the temperature, at approx. 2,700 degrees Celsius, vaporizes rock as well as ice and can break the comet apart entirely.

The broken-up object here is presumed to be ISON, and is labeled as such in the transcript, even though Randall hasn't unambiguously identified it. Note that it's not realistic that ISON still would have a tail so far away from the sun.

On December 2, 2013 NASA released a statement that ISON did not survive its close perihelion with the sun. The Comet ISON Observing Campaign posted a delightful biographical sketch ([http://www.isoncampaign.org/karl/in-memoriam In Memoriam Comet C/2012 S1 (ISON) Born 4.5 Billion BC, Fragmented Nov 28, 2013, age 4.5-billion yrs old]) which touches on its early years, retreat to the Oort Cloud, career as a Sungrazer, "dynamic and unpredictable life, alternating between periods of quiet reflection and violent outburst", delicate inner working, and its tragic demise.

The closest approach of ISON to the earth was predicted for December 27, 2013 at a distance at approx. 60 million kilometers or 37 million miles, 170 hundred times more than the moon. The {{w| Hubble Space Telescope}} [http://www.universetoday.com/107407/hubble-looks-but-finds-no-trace-of-comet-ison/ looked for it on December 18] but saw nothing.

This video shows an animation of the encounter at the sun: [http://stereo-ssc.nascom.nasa.gov/browse/2013/11/28/ahead_20131128_cor2_rdiff_512.mpg ISON 28.11.2013].

===Perspective===
Some more information about comets will help put the comic in perspective:
*The surface of cometary nuclei reflects less sunlight than asphalt. Telescopes can't identify or find them until they have a coma.
*An object at a distance of one light-year would only have an orbital speed about 100 meters per second; the speed of the Earth is about 30 kilometers per second.
*One revolution at that distance would last approximately 20 million years.

==Transcript==
:[Three asteroids float in space.]
:ISON: Have you noticed that bright dot in the distance?
:Asteroid: Yeah. What's the deal with it?

:ISON: Dunno. I'm gonna go check it out.

:[Pause while ISON checks it out off screen.]

:ISON (broken up, with multiple tails): Wow. Do NOT go over there.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Astronomy]]

1286: Encryptic

2018-08-19T16:10:47Z

Guest: correct the size of the headline

{{comic
| number = 1286
| date = November 4, 2013
| title = Encryptic
| image = encryptic.png
| titletext = It was bound to happen eventually. This data theft will enable almost limitless [xkcd.com/792]-style password reuse attacks in the coming weeks. There's only one group that comes out of this looking smart: Everyone who pirated Photoshop.
}}

==Explanation==
Web sites and other computers that authenticate users via passwords need to be able to know if the user typed in the right password. But storing the password itself on the computer has been known to be unnecessarily risky since the publication of [http://www.neurosecurity.com/articles/security/passwd.pdf Password Security: A Case History] in 1978. In that paper, Robert Morris and Ken Thompson demonstrated the practice of using a slow, cryptographically-secure one-way {{w|hash function}}, so that even if the password file is stolen, it will be very hard to figure out what the passwords are, so long as the passwords themselves are suitably complex. They also pioneered the use of {{w|Salt (cryptography)|a "salt"}} which makes each password hash completely different even if two users use the same password. See [http://security.blogoverflow.com/2011/07/a-tour-of-password-questions-and-answers/ A tour of password questions and answers] for background on salts and suitably slow hash functions.

Adobe, however, ignored these well-known principles, and instead stored over a hundred million passwords in a reversibly encrypted way, using a terrible choice of encryption methods which exposes a great deal of information about the passwords, and does not involve a salt. This password database was recently obtained by someone and released on the Internet.

In particular, Adobe used {{w|Triple DES}}, an older encryption algorithm which can still be relatively secure when properly used, but they used it improperly. It works on 64-bit (8 character) blocks. Assuming that the passwords are stored in plain ASCII, this means that a sequence of 8 characters in a password which starts on a character position which is a multiple of eight is always encrypted to the same result. Therefore, two passwords starting with "12345678" would start with the same block after being encrypted. Furthermore, this means that you can actually get a very good idea of the length of the password since anything with only one block is a password with length between 1 and 8 characters, and having two blocks implies it has between 9 and 16 characters, etc.

Adobe also stored hints users created for their passwords. That means that an attacker knows not only if the same 8 characters are used for multiple passwords but also has some hints for guessing them. That means that common password portions should be easy to recover and that any user may be "compromised" by someone else using a part of the same password and providing a good hint. As an example, a password having three hints "Big Apple", "Twin Towers" and "If you can make it there" is probably "New York" or a simple variation on that. The weakness here is that no decryption and therefore no hard cracking has to take place, you just group the passwords by their encrypted blocks and try to solve them like a crossword puzzle. These weaknesses have already been used to presumably identify a password used by {{w|Edward Snowden}}, as discussed at [http://7habitsofhighlyeffectivehackers.blogspot.com/2013/11/can-someone-be-targeted-using-adobe.html 7 Habits of Highly Effective Hackers: Can someone be targeted using the Adobe breach?].

The examples are not taken from the actual leaked file, since that [http://arstechnica.com/security/2013/11/how-an-epic-blunder-by-adobe-could-strengthen-hand-of-password-crackers/ uses a different format], and the examples are evidently cleverly crafted to make a nice crossword-like puzzle, which can be solved as shown in the Passwords section below.

As mentioned on http://filosottile.github.io/analyzing-the-adobe-leaked-passwords/ the data in the comic isn't real and contains a hidden message. If the "user password" hashes are Base64 encoded, they read:
<pre>ThiswasnotagooduseofyourtimeButthenagainitwasprobablynotagooduseofmytimeeith
erAndyethereweareXOXOXOLetsLiveHereInThisTinySecretEncodedTextWorldForever==</pre>

More readable:
<pre>This was not a good use of your time
But then again it was probably not a good use of my time either
And yet here we are
XOXOXO
Lets Live Here In This Tiny Secret Encoded Text World Forever==</pre>

E.g., with the initial unique hash blocks: <tt>python -c "print '4e18acc1ab27a2d6a0a2876eb1ea1fca'.decode('hex_codec').encode('base64')"</tt>

The last letter "r" is not fully encoded in the data shown, but any letter from "g" to "v" produces the same binary data.

The title text makes a reference to a previous comic: [[792|Black Hat's trouble with what to do with stolen passwords]]. It also states that users of pirated Photoshop are the winners here. This is because in order to make Photoshop pirate-able, it was modified (cracked) by removing the requirement for registration so their passwords were not sent to Adobe and therefore are not present in the leaked file.

Soon after this comic was published, the most common 1000 passwords were actually compiled into [http://zed0.co.uk/crossword/ a set of 10 interactive online crosswords], inspired by the comic.

The title itself is a reference to {{w|cryptic crossword}}s.

===Passwords===
Note that characters in the passwords could be upper or lower case, and they may involve common substitutions like "0" (number zero) for "O" (letter O); therefore, the clues cannot guarantee that the answer shown here is precisely correct. Nevertheless, we have plenty of information for a brute force attack.

{|class="wikitable"
! Input
! Hint
! Password
! Explanation
|-
|<tt>4e18acc1ab27a2d6</tt>
|weather vane sword
|<tt>[http://redwall.wikia.com/wiki/Matthias matthias]</tt>
|In ''{{w|Redwall}}'', several characters are associated with a sword hung from a weather vane, but only Matthias shares the name of an apostle (6 lines down).
|-
|<tt>4e18acc1ab27a2d6</tt>
|
|<tt>matthias</tt>
|Although no hint was used, we know this password too, since it matches the previous one.
|-
|<tt>4e18acc1ab27a2d6 a0a2876eb1ea1fca</tt>
|name1
|<tt>matthias1</tt>
|Even without knowing the user's name, we already know how this starts, so the clue gives us a pretty good idea how it finishes (and another block useful 2 lines down)
|-
|<tt>8babb6299e06eb6d</tt>
|duh
|<tt>password</tt>
|Unfortunately, this is all too common, and the user practically told us that it's an easy one.
|-
|<tt>8babb6299e06eb6d a0a2876eb1ea1fca</tt>
|
|<tt>password1</tt>
|Although no hint was used, we know this by combining the previous two.
|-
|<tt>8babb6299e06eb6d 85e9da81a8a78adc</tt>
|57
|<tt>password57</tt>
|Since we know how this begins, this is a good guess.
|-
|<tt>4e18acc1ab27a2d6</tt>
|favorite of {{w|Apostle (Christian)|12 apostles}}
|<tt>{{w|Saint Matthias|matthias}}</tt>
|The hint suggests only 12 possibilities. Variant spellings, variant lists, and a replacement for Judas add to that number. But we already know which one by combining with the clue 6 lines up. (Surprise: it's the replacement!)
|-
|<tt>1ab29ae86da6e5ca 7a2d6a0a2876eb1e</tt>
|with your own hand you have done all this
|<tt>Judith1510</tt>
|This is a quotation from [http://www.biblestudytools.com/nrsa/judith/15-10.html Judith 15:10] in the Bible.
|-
|<tt>a1f9b2b6299e7a2b eadec1e6ab797397</tt>
|sexy earlobes
|<tt>{{w|Charlie Sheen|Charlie Sheen}}</tt>
|This refers to an episode of ''{{w|Two and a Half Men}}''. Other answers are possible, but only this one fits the next line.
|-
|<tt>a1f9b2b6299e7a2b 617ab0277727ad85</tt>
|best TOS episode
|<tt>{{w|Charlie X|Charlie X}}</tt>
|"{{w|Star Trek: The Original Series|TOS}}" refers to The Original Series (TOS) of ''{{w|Star Trek}}''. Although this had dozens of episodes, only one fits the previous line as well as the next line.
|-
|<tt>39738b7adb0b8af7 617ab0277727ad85</tt>
|Sugarland
|<tt>HoustonTX</tt>
|{{w|Sugar Land, Texas|Sugar Land}} is a suburb of {{w|Houston}}, {{w|Texas}}. This fits with the previous line. {{w|Sugarland}} is a band, but it does not fit well with the previous hint, and would not lead to our first guess.
|-
|<tt>1ab29ae86da6e5ca</tt>
|name + jersey#
|<tt>Judith15</tt>
|Even if we knew this user's name, we wouldn't know their jersey number. But the clue 4 lines up already gave us the answer.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|alpha
|<tt>abc</tt>
|This password is also far too common, but this clue still isn't enough to narrow it down. Combine with the clue 4 lines below, however, and it's quite easy.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|
|<tt>abc</tt>
|No hint, but the same as the surrounding passwords.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|
|<tt>abc</tt>
|No hint, but the same as the surrounding passwords.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|obvious
|<tt>abc</tt>
|Same as the surrounding passwords.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|Michael Jackson
|<tt>abc</tt>
|{{w|Michael Jackson}} did many songs, but only one was {{w|ABC (song)|alphabetical}} (4 lines up).
|-
|<tt>38a7c9279cadeb44 9dca1d79d4dec6d5</tt>
|
|<tt>asdfghjkl</tt>
|No hint, but the same as the one below.
|-
|<tt>38a7c9279cadeb44 9dca1d79d4dec6d5</tt>
|he did the mash, he did the
|<tt>asdfghjkl</tt>
|Probably a "keyboard mash" (e.g. asdfghjkl), a common password. The hint is a reference to the song "{{w|Monster Mash}}" ("He did the mash/He did the monster mash").
|-
|<tt>38a7c9279cadeb44</tt>
|purloined
|<tt>asdfghjk</tt>
|A reference to the {{w|Edgar Allan Poe}} story "{{w|The Purloined Letter}}", this represents all the keys of the home row, or the keyboard mash password, but with one missing("purloined") letter.
|-
|<tt>a8ae5745a2b7af7a 9dca1d79d4dec6d5</tt>
|fav water-3 {{w|List_of_Pokémon|Pokemon}}
|<tt>[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Tentacool_(Pok%C3%A9mon) Tentacool]</tt>
|This is the only [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Water_3_%28Egg_Group%29 water-3] Pokémon with a 9 letter name ending in "l", so it must be this to fit with the password 'asdfghjkl'
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:Hackers recently leaked '''''153 million''''' Adobe user emails, encrypted passwords, and password hints.
:Adobe encrypted the passwords improperly, misusing block-mode 3DES. The result is something wonderful:

<pre>
User password Hint
------------- ----

4e18acc1ab27a2d6 weather vane sword
4e18acc1ab27a2d6
4e18acc1ab27a2d6 a0a2876eb1ea1fca name1
8babb6299e06eb6d duh
8babb6299e06eb6d a0a2876eb1ea1fca
8babb6299e06eb6d 85e9da81a8a78adc 57
4e18acc1ab27a2d6 favorite of 12 apostles
1ab29ae86da6e5ca 7a2d6a0a2876eb1e with your own hand you
have done all this
a1f9b2b6299e7a2b eadec1e6ab797397 sexy earlobes
a1f9b2b6299e7a2b 617ab0277727ad85 best tos episode
39738b7adb0b8af7 617ab0277727ad85 sugarland
1ab29ae86da6e5ca name + jersey#
877ab7889d3862b1 alpha
877ab7889d3862b1
877ab7889d3862b1
877ab7889d3862b1 obvious
877ab7889d3862b1 Michael Jackson
38a7c9279cadeb44 9dca1d79d4dec6d5
38a7c9279cadeb44 9dca1d79d4dec6d5 he did the mash, he did the
38a7c9279cadeb44 purloined
a8ae5745a2b7af7a 9dca1d79d4dec6d5 fav water-3 pokemon
</pre>

:The greatest crossword puzzle in the history of the world

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Cryptography]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]

1276: Angular Size

2018-08-19T16:07:33Z

Guest: correct size of headline

{{comic
| number = 1276
| date = October 11, 2013
| title = Angular Size
| image = angular size.png
| titletext = If the celestial sphere were mapped to the Earth's surface, astronomy would get a LOT easier; you'd just need a magnifying glass.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a comparison of the {{w|angular diameter|angular diameters}} (or apparent diameter) of various celestial objects at the surface of the earth relative to a vertex at the center of the Earth as diagrammed in the opening panel. The objects' scales are compared to actual objects on earth. Each size given is for the object at its closest approach to earth.

London's {{w|M25 motorway}} is around 60 km (35 miles) across, a {{w|soccer field}} is about 100 meters long (109 yards), a {{w|Table tennis table|ping pong table}} is 274 centimeters long (9 feet), a {{w|laptop}} is about 35 centimeters across (13.75 inches), the {{w|tilde}} symbol on a keyboard is about 5 millimeters long (197 mils), and a cell of ''{{w|Escherichia coli|E. coli}}'' is about 2 microns long (78.75 millionths of an inch).

A simple {{w|Intercept theorem|formula}} can be used to find the size on earth of a celestial object when the size of or distance to the object is known. This is done by taking the radius of the earth, multiplying by the diameter of the object, and dividing by the distance to the object from the center of the earth.

The space objects referenced in the panels are:

*The {{w|Sun}} and the {{w|Moon}}, and also the open cluster {{w|Messier 25}}, have approximately the same size (around 0.5 degrees of arc) when seen from the Earth.

*{{w|Mercury (planet)|Mercury}}, {{w|Venus}}, {{w|Mars}}, {{w|Jupiter}}, {{w|Saturn}}, {{w|Uranus}}, and {{w|Neptune}} are the other planets of the {{w|Solar System}}.

*{{w|Io (moon)|Io}}, {{w|Europa (moon)|Europa}}, {{w|Ganymede (moon)|Ganymede}}, and {{w|Callisto (moon)|Callisto}} are the main moons of Jupiter; {{w|Titan (moon)|Titan}} is the largest moon of Saturn; and {{w|Triton (moon)|Triton}} is the largest moon of Neptune. {{w|Ceres (dwarf planet)|Ceres}} and {{w|Pluto}} are {{w|dwarf planet}}s.

*{{w|Phobos (moon)|Phobos}} and {{w|Deimos (moon)|Deimos}} are the moons of Mars. {{w|Eris (dwarf planet)|Eris}} is another dwarf planet. {{w|R Doradus}} and {{w|Betelgeuse}} are giant stars, respectively around 180 and 640 light-years away. R Doradus is the star with the largest apparent diameter (other than the sun, of course).

*{{w|4942 Munroe}} is an asteroid [http://blog.xkcd.com/2013/09/30/asteroid-4942-munroe/ named] after xkcd author [[Randall]] Munroe. {{w|Proxima Centauri}}, {{W|Alpha Centauri|Alpha Centauri AB}}, {{w|Barnard's star}} and {{w|Sirius}} are nearby stars (all within 10 light-years from the Sun).

*{{w|HD 189733 b}}, {{w|Gliese 581 g}}, {{w|Gliese 667 Cc}}, {{w|82 G. Eridani#Planetary_system|HD 20794 c}}, {{w|Tau Ceti#Planets|Tau Ceti c}}, and {{w|KOI-1686.01}} are {{w|extrasolar planet}}s; the parenthetical names are references to the comic [[1253: Exoplanet Names]]. However, some of the planets' parenthetical names do not match the table in the previous comic. For example, HD 20794 c is called "Legoland" rather than "Moonchild" in [[1253: Exoplanet Names]]. The {{w|black hole}} at the center of our Galaxy is {{w|Sagittarius A*}}, a massive object containing a mass more than 4 million times of our Sun.

*{{w|Voyager 1}} and {{w|Voyager 2|2}} are space probes launched in 1977, and currently around 125 and 100 {{w|astronomical unit}}s away, respectively.

The title text states that astronomy would be much easier if the celestial sphere were mapped to the earth - like a giant {{w|globe}}. Due to the distance of the stars you would just need magnifying glass to see the areas representing distant stars instead of an expensive powerful telescope to see huge distances.

Approximate values for the mappings to the Earth sphere (based on mean Earth radius at 6,371.0 km or 3,958.8 mi.):
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Panel
! Object
! Distance
! Diameter
! Size at Earth sphere
|-
| rowspan="4"| Panel 1
|| Sun
|| 149,600,000 km (9.296×10^7 mi.)
|| 1,392,684 km (865,373.7 mi.)
|| 59.3 km (36.8 mi.)
|-
|| Moon Semi-major axis
|| 384,399 km (238,854 mi.)
|| 3,476.28 km (2,160.06 mi.)
|| 57.6 km (35.8 mi.)
|-
|| Moon Perigee
|| 363,295 km (225,741 mi.)
|| 3,476.28 km (2160.06 mi.)
|| 60.9 km (37.8 mi.)
|-
|| Messier 25
|| 2,100 light-years 19.867 × 10^15 km (12.158×10^15 mi.)
|| 19 light-years 179.753 × 10^12 km (111.693×10^12 mi.)
|| 57.6 km (35.8 mi.)
|-
| rowspan="7"| Panel 2
|| Mercury closest approach
|| 92 million km (57 million mi.)
|| 4,879.4 km (3,031.9 mi.)
|| 0.34 km (370 yd.)
|-
|| Venus closest approach
|| 41 million km (25 million mi.)
|| 12,103.6 km (7,520.83 mi.)
|| 1.9 km (1.2 mi.)
|-
|| Mars closest approach
|| 56 million km (35 million mi.)
|| 6,792.4 km (4,220.6 mi.)
|| 0.77 km (840 yd.)
|-
|| Jupiter
|| 778,547,200 km (4.8377×10^8 mi.)
|| 139,822 km (86,881.4 mi.)
|| 1.14 km (1,250 yd.)
|-
|| Saturn
|| 1,433,449,370 km (1.5676×10^12 mi.)
|| 120,536 km (74,897.6 mi.)
|| 0.54 km (590 yd.)
|-
|| Uranus
|| 2,876,679,082 km (1.7875×10^9 mi.)
|| 51,118 km (31,763 mi.)
|| 0.11 km (120 yd.)
|-
|| Neptune
|| 4,503,443,661 km (2.7983×10^9 mi.)
|| 49,528 km (30,775 mi.)
|| 0.07 km (230 ft.)
|-
| rowspan="8"| Panel 3
|| Io
|| 778,547,200 km (483.77×10^6 mi.)
|| 3,643 km (2,264 mi.)
|| 29.8 m (74.8 ft.)
|-
|| Europa
|| 778,547,200 km (483.77×10^6 mi.)
|| 3,122 km (1,940 mi.)
|| 25.5 m (83.7 ft.)
|-
|| Ganymede
|| 778,547,200 km (483.77×10^6 mi.)
|| 5,262 km (3,270 mi.)
|| 43.1 m (141 ft.)
|-
|| Callisto
|| 778,547,200 km (483.77×10^6 mi.)
|| 4,821 km (2,996 mi.)
|| 39.5 m (130 ft.)
|-
|| Titan
|| 1,433,449,370 km (890.7×10^6 mi.)
|| 5,150 km (3,200 mi.)
|| 22.9 m (75.1 ft.)
|-
|| Triton
|| 4,503,443,661 km (2.7983×10^9 mi.)
|| 2,705.2 km (1,680.9 mi.)
|| 3.8 m (12 ft.)
|-
|| Ceres Perihelion
|| 380,995,855 km (236.74×10^6 mi.)
|| 974.6 km (605.6 mi.)
|| 16.3 m (53.5 ft.)
|-
|| Pluto Perihelion
|| 4,437,000,000 km (2.757×10^9 mi.)
|| 2,306 km (1,433 mi.)
|| 3.3 m (11 ft.)
|-
| rowspan="6"| Panel 4
|| Phobos
|| 56 million km (35 million mi.)
|| 26.8 × 22.4 × 18.4 km (16.7 × 13.9 × 11.4 mi.)
|| 3.05 m (10.0 ft.)
|-
|| Deimos
|| 56 million km (35 million mi.)
|| 15 × 12.2 × 10.4 km (9.3 × 7.58 × 6.46 mi.)
|| 1.71 m (5 ft. 7 in.)
|-
|| Eris Perihelion
|| 5.723 × 10^9 km (3.556×10^9 mi.)
|| 2,326 km (1,445 mi.)
|| 2.59 m (8 ft. 6 in.)
|-
|| Eris Aphelion
|| 14.602 × 10^9 km (9.0733×10^9 mi.)
|| 2,326 km (1,445 mi.)
|| 1.01 m (3 ft. 3.8 in.)
|-
|| Betelguse
|| 643 ± 146 light-years max. 7.464 × 10^15 km (4.638×10^15 mi.)
|| 950–1,200 solar radii max. 1.671 × 10^9 km (1.038×10^9 mi.)
|| 1.43 m (4 ft. 8.3 in.)
|-
|| R Doradus
|| 178 ± 10 light-years max. 1.778 × 10^15 km (1.105×10^15 mi.)
|| 370 ± 50 solar radii max. 0.515 × 10^9 km (320×10^6 mi.)
|| 1.85 m (6 ft. 0.8 in.)
|-
| rowspan="6"| Panel 5
|| 4942 Munroe
|| 2.2 AU (1.2 AU closest to earth, 179.4 × 10^6 km or 111.5×10^6 mi.)
|| 9–10 km (5.6-6.2 mi.)
|| 35.5 cm (14.0 in.)
|-
|| Proxima Centauri
|| 4.243 light-years 40.142 × 10^12 km (24.943×10^12 mi.)
|| 0.141 solar radii 0.196 × 10^6 km (122×10^3 mi.)
|| 3.11 cm (1.22 in.)
|-
|| Barnard's Star
|| 5.980 light-years 56.574 × 10^12 km (32.668×10^12)
|| 0.196 solar radii 0.272 × 10^6 km (169×10^3)
|| 3.06 cm (1.20 in.)
|-
|| Alpha Centauri B
|| 4.366 light-years 41.305 × 10^12 km (25.666×10^12 mi.)
|| 0.865 solar radii 1.204 × 10^6 km (748×10^3 mi.)
|| 18.6 cm (7.32 in.)
|-
|| Sirius
|| 8.6 light-years 81.362 × 10^12 km (50.556×10^12 mi.)
|| 1.711 solar radii 2.382 × 10^6 km (1.480×10^6 mi.)
|| 18.7 cm (7.36 in.)
|-
|| Alpha Centauri A
|| 4.366 light-years 41.305 × 10^12 km (25.666×10^12 mi.)
|| 1.227 solar radii 1.708 × 10^6 km (1.061×10^6 mi.)
|| 26.3 cm (10.4 in.)
|-
| rowspan="9"| Panel 6
|| HD 189733 b
|| 63 light-years 596.024 × 10^12 km (370.352×10^12 mi.)
|| 1.138 Jupiter radii 159,117 km (98,870.7 mi.)
|| 1.7 mm (67 mils)
|-
|| Gliese 581 g
|| 20.3 light-years 192.052 × 10^12 km (119.336×10^12 mi.)
|| 1.3 to 2.0 Earth radii max. 25,484 km (15,835 mi.)
|| 0.85 mm (33 mils)
|-
|| Gliese 581 (Parent star)
|| 20.3 light-years 192.052 × 10^12 km (119.336×10^12 mi.)
|| 0.29 solar radii 201,695 km (125,411 mi.)
|| 1.34 cm (528 mils)
|-
|| Black Hole at the center of our Galaxy
|| 25,900 light-years 245.032 × 10^15 km (152,260×10^15 mi.)
|| Mass 4.31 × 10^6: 12.684 × 10^6 km (7.8815×10^6 mi.)
|| 0.33 mm (13 mils)
|-
|| Gliese 667 Cc
|| 22.7 light-years 214.757 × 10^12 km (133.444×10^12 mi.)
|| 2.0 Earth radii 25,484 km (15,835 mi.)
|| 0.76 mm (30 mils)
|-
|| Gliese 667 (Parent star)
|| 22.7 light-years 214.757 × 10^12 km (133.444×10^12 mi.)
|| 0.42 solar radii 584,927 km (363,457 mi.)
|| 1.74 cm (685 mils)
|-
|| HD 20794 c (Parent star)
|| 20 light-years 189.214 × 10^12 km (117.572×10^12)
|| 0.92 solar radii 1,281,269 km (796,143.6 mi.)
|| 4.31 cm (1.70 in.)
|-
|| Tau Ceti C (Parent star)
|| 11.905 light-years 112.629 × 10^12 km (69.9844×10^12 mi.)
|| 0.793 solar radii 1,104,398 km (686,241.1 mi.)
|| 6.25 cm (2.46 in.)
|-
|| Koi-1686.01 (Parent star)
|| 1033.8 light-years 9.780 × 10^15 km (6.077×10^15 mi.)
|| 0.52 solar radii 724,195 km (449,994 mi.)
|| 0.47 mm (19 mils)
|-
| Panel 7
|| Voyager probes
|| (Voyager 1 at 126.10 AU) 18.86×10^9 km (11.72×10^9 mi.)
|| 20 meters (66 ft.) (with antennas)
|| 6.76 µm (266×10^-6 in.)
|}

===Remarks===
A {{w|Football_pitch#Pitch_boundary|professional soccer field}} is 105 x 68 meter, but the depicted soccer field is about 93 x 61 meter (based on the size of the center circle which has a diameter of 20 yd). However, according to the angular diameter of the referenced celestial objects, Randall did his calculations using the 105 x 68 meter dimensions.

==Transcript==
:The size of the part of Earth's surface directly under various space objects
:[Several images are shown, of space objects of differing size and at different distances from Earth, illustrating the differing sizes of their "shadows" as mapped onto Earth's surface viewed from the center of the Earth.]

:[The first image merely sets the stage: Earth is a full circle, with two figures — Cueball and Megan — standing on it; a small space object casts a "shadow" on Megan, while a slightly larger object, though proportionally farther away, casts just about the same size shadow next to Cueball.]

:[The second image is a map showing London, with the Thames running through it, and a ring highway running around it labeled "London's M25 Orbital Freeway". A grey circle is overlaid, just about the diameter of the M25; it is labeled "The Sun and The Moon (about the same size)".]

:[The third image has a small grey rectangle in one corner labeled "Soccer field" for comparison. The image is dominated by four large, grey circles, considerably larger than the soccer field, labeled "Saturn", "Mars", "Jupiter", and "Venus", with Mars slightly larger than Saturn, Jupiter approximately twice the diameter of Saturn, and Venus approximately three times the diameter of Saturn. Smaller circles are labeled "Mercury", "Uranus", and "Neptune", with Mercury still somewhat larger than the soccer field, Uranus about its size, and Neptune slightly smaller.]

:[The fourth image has the soccer field blown up to take up much of the view; its center circle, goal areas, and corner kick areas are visible. Labeled grey circles of various circles are again overlain: Callisto and Ganymede are about as large as one half of the field; Io, Titan, and Europa are somewhat smaller than half the field; and Ceres, Triton, and Pluto are much smaller (all three together would probably fit into the soccer field's center circle).]

:[In the fifth image, there is a different grey rectangle, this one labeled "Ping Pong table", with a few balls and paddles visible. An irregular ovoid labeled "Phobos" is about the size of the table, as is a circle labeled "R. Doradus". An irregular circular shape labeled "Deimos" is about the size of half the table; a circle labeled "Betelgeuse" is a little smaller, and a circle labeled "Eris" is a little smaller, though still comfortably filling most of half of the table.]

:[In the sixth image, a light grey image of laptop computer keyboard and screen is shown, viewed from directly above. An irregular shape labeled "4942 Munroe" is slightly larger than the laptop, while circles labeled "Alpha Centauri A", "Sirius", and "Alpha Centauri B" form a descending series somewhat smaller than it. Circles labeled "Proxima Centauri" and "Barnard's Star" are considerably smaller than the laptop: Proxima Centauri would fit on the trackpad, while Barnard's Star covers perhaps four keys on the keyboard.]

:[In the seventh image we see a greatly zoomed-in shape which is identified as the "Tilde on laptop keyboard". A circle labeled "HD 189733 b (permadeath)" is almost as large as the tilde is wide; a circle labeled "Tau Ceti C (giant dog planet)" is somewhat smaller. Circles labeled "Gleise 581 g (jelly-filled planet)", "Gleise 667 C c (PILF)", and "HD 20794 c (moonchild)" are all 1/2 to 1/3 as wide as the tilde is wide. A smaller circle labeled "Event horizon of the black hole at the center of our galaxy" fits comfortably within the tilde's stroke width. A very small dot off in one corner (much smaller than the tilde or anything else in the image) is labeled "KOI-1686.01 (emergency backup earth)".]

:[Finally, in the eighth image, the size comparison is to the grey outlines of four bacilliform bacteria labeled "E. coli". The outlines of two interstellar probes are shown, with circular main housings and protruding instruments and antennae. They are labeled "Voyager 1" and "Voyager 2".]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Space probes]]

1212: Interstellar Memes

2018-08-19T15:51:17Z

Guest: correct headline depth

{{comic
| number = 1212
| date = May 15, 2013
| title = Interstellar Memes
| image = interstellar memes.png
| titletext = The strongest incentive we have to develop faster-than-light travel is that it would let us apologize in advance.
}}
A [http://xkcd.com/1212/large/ larger version] of this picture can be found by clicking the comic on xkcd.

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] highlights various memes from popular culture. A {{w|meme}} is a phenomenon, often in this scenario in the form of a movie quote, a musical reference, a catchphrase or other notable saying that spreads quickly by word-of-mouth. Memes become popular because people hear about them and repeat them to others. Randall points out that if the assumed intelligent life from other star systems were listening to the things we said, then they would just now be hearing and popularizing memes started years ago on earth. The delay is due to the time that it takes for expressions of the meme to travel (presumably via radio waves) to distant star systems.

Our solar system, from where the electromagnetic waves are emitted, is located just left of the center of the picture. The other star systems are arranged roughly according to their distance from the sun, while their size corresponds to the size of the star compared with that of the sun.

The meme for Sirius is a pun; it refers to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, in which Bellatrix Lestrange kills Sirius Black.

Radio waves travel at the {{w|speed of light}}. The title text jokes that these memes are so annoying that it would give us further incentive to develop the technology to travel {{w|faster than light}}, just simply to be able to outrun the radio waves, reach a distant star system, and apologize in advance to the "residents" about the memes, before the memes arrive.

===Table with memes===
*The table below lists all the memes described, and the star at which the comics states those memes should be heard today (in 2013), based on the year when the meme in question became popular.
**The year of the meme plus number of years in the distance in light year to the star should end up close to 2013.
**As can be seen in the sum column most of the time this ends up within the range 2011-2013 with a few at 2014.
***There is only a single outlier, 2016, which could be an error from Randall?
***An error could both be in the distance to the star or in the year when the meme actually became popular here on Earth
***There could also be a possible delay from the star system receiving the meme until is becomes popular there.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Meme !! Star !! Origin !! Year !! Distance to star !! Sum year
|-
| Yabba dabba doo! || {{w|Castor (star)|Castor}} || {{w|The Flintstones}} || 1960 || 51 ± 3 ly || 2011 ± 3
|-
| You've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" || {{w|Lambda Aurigae}} || {{w|Dirty Harry}} || 1971 || 41.2 ± 0.1 ly || 2012
|-
| {{w|Where's the beef|Where's the beef?}} || {{w|HR 1614}} || Slogan for {{w|Wendy's}} || 1984 || 28 ly || 2012
|-
| And now for something completely different. || {{w|Capella (star)|Capella}}|| {{w|Monty Python's Flying Circus}} || 1969 || 42 ly || 2011
|-
| Here's lookin' at you, kid. || {{w|Kappa Reticuli}} || {{w|Casablanca (film)|Casablanca}} || 1942 || 70 ly || 2012
|-
| My spoon is too big! || {{w|Kapteyn's Star}} || {{w|Rejected}} || 2000 || 12 ly || 2012
|-
| May the force be with you. || {{w|Delta Trianguli}} || {{w|Star Wars}} || 1977 || 35 ly || 2012
|-
| Peanut butter jelly time! || {{w|Luyten's Star}} || [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/peanut-butter-jelly-time an Internet meme] || 2002 || 12 ly || 2014
|-
| Rosebud. || {{w|Alpha Hydri}} || {{w|Citizen Kane}} || 1941 || 71 ly || 2012
|-
| Oh my god, {{w|They killed Kenny|they killed Kenny!}} – You bastards! || {{w|AD Leonis}} || {{w|South Park}} || 1997 || 15.9 ± 0.2 ly || 2013
|-
| ...God kills a kitten! – A what? || {{w|Procyon}} || {{w|Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten|an Internet meme}} || 2002 || 11.5 ly || 2013
|-
| I ''still'' can't believe Bellatrix– – Dude, get over it. || {{w|Sirius}} || {{w|Harry Potter}} ({{w|Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix|book 5}}) || 2003 || 08.6 ly || 2012
|-
| Ninjas fight ''all the time!'' || {{w|Epsilon Eridani}} || {{w|The Official Ninja Webpage}} || 2002 || 10 ly || 2012
|-
| {{w|D'oh!|D'oh!}} || {{w|HR 753}} || {{w|The Simpsons}} || 1989 || 23 ly || 2012
|-
| {{w|The Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python)|''Nobody'' expects the Spanish Inquisition!}} || {{w|Beta Virginis}} || {{w|Monty Python's Flying Circus}} || 1970 || 35,6 ly || 2016
|-
| {{w|All your base are belong to us}}. || {{w|Tau Ceti}} || {{w|Zero Wing}} || 2001 || 11.9 ly || 2013
|-
| Take me to your leader! – No, Steve. || {{w|Beta Cassiopeiae|Caph}} || {{w|Take me to your leader (phrase)}} || 1957 || 55 ly || 2012
|-
| Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He ''waits.'' || {{w|Wolf 359}} || {{w|Chuck Norris facts}} || 2005 || 07.8 ly || 2013
|-
| ♬ Numa numa ♪ || {{w|Lalande 21185}} || {{w|Dragostea Din Tei|Numa Numa song}} || 2004 || 08.3 ly || 2012
|-
| I can haz? || {{w|WISE 1049-5319|Luhman 16}} || {{w|Lolcats}} || 2006 || 06.6 ± 0.5 ly || 2013
|-
| ''Internets!'' || {{w|Luyten 726-8|Gliese 65}} || {{w|George W. Bush}} [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/internets Internet meme] || 2004 || 08.7 || 2013
|-
| Look at the tiny dancing Earth mammals! || {{w|Gliese 1}} || {{w|Hampsterdance}} and/or {{w|Dancing Baby}} || 1998 || 14 ly || 2012
|-
| ''Wasssuup!?!'' || {{w|Van Maanen's star}} || {{w|Budweiser (Anheuser-Busch)|Budweiser Beer}} advertising campaign || 1999 || 14 ly || 2013
|-
| Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker. || {{w|Beta Hydri}} || {{w|Die Hard}} || 1988 || 24 ly || 2012
|-
| I pity the fool! || {{w|Groombridge 1830}} || {{w|Rocky III}} ({{w|Mr. T}}) || 1982 || 30 ly || 2012
|-
| The cake is a lie! || {{w|Alpha Centauri|Alpha Centauri A/B}} || {{w|Portal (video game)|Portal}} || 2007 || 04.3 ly || 2011
|-
| ♪ Never gonna give you up ♫ || {{w|Alpha Centauri|Alpha Centauri A/B}} || {{w|Rickrolling}} || 2007 || 04.3 ly || 2011
|-
| I'm on a boat! || {{w|Proxima Centauri}} || {{w|The Lonely Island}} || 2009 || 04.243 ± 0.002 ly || 2013
|-
| ♫ Chocolate Raaaiiin ♫ || {{w|Barnard's Star}} || {{w|Tay Zonday}}: {{w|Chocolate Rain}} video || 2007 || 06 ly || 2013
|-
| Leave Britney alone! || {{w|Barnard's Star}} || {{w|Chris Crocker}}: [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/leave-britney-alone LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!] || 2007 || 06 ly || 2013
|-
| You're the man now, dog! || {{w|Epsilon Indi}} || {{w|YTMND}} || 2001 || 11.8 || 2013
|-
| {{w|More cowbell|More cowbell!}} || {{w|Kruger 60}} || {{w|Saturday Night Live}} || 2000 || 13 ly || 2013
|-
| Hasta la vista, baby. || {{w|Gliese 892}} || {{w|Terminator 2}} || 1991 || 21 ly || 2012
|-
| Let's get ready to ruuumble! || {{w|Zeta Tucanae}} || {{w|Michael Buffer}} || 1984 || 28 ly || 2012
|-
| You talkin' to ''me?'' || {{w|Arcturus}} || {{w|Taxi Driver}} || 1976 || 36.7 ± 0.3 ly || 2013
|-
| Did ''I'' do that? || {{w|Xi Boötis|Boötis}} || {{w|Family Matters}} ({{w|Steve Urkel}}) || 1989 || 21.89 ± 0.07 ly || 2011
|-
| Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger. – What's a burger? – I don't know. || {{w|70 Ophiuchi}} || {{w|Good Burger}} slogan || 1997 || 16.58 ± 0.07 ly || 2014
|-
| Badger badger badger badger || {{w|Ross 154}} || {{w|Badger Badger Badger}} || 2003 || 09.7 ly || 2013
|-
| {{w|Vulcan salute|Live long and prosper.}} – OK. || {{w|HD 211415}} || {{w|Star Trek}} || 1967 || 44 ly || 2011
|-
| Name's Bond. James Bond. || {{w|51 Pegasi}} || {{w|Dr. No (film)|Dr. No}} ({{w|James Bond}}) || 1962 || 50.9 ± 0.3 ly || 2013
|-
| Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. || {{w|Alpha Serpentis}} || {{w|Gone with the Wind (film)|Gone with the Wind}} || 1939 || 74.0 ± 0.3 ly || 2013
|-
| Mr. T ate my balls! || {{w|Altair}} || [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ate-my-balls an Internet meme] || 1996 || 16.7 ly || 2013
|-
| I want the truth. – ''You can't handle the truth!'' || {{w|Delta Pavonis}} || {{w|A Few Good Men}} || 1992 || 20 ly || 2012
|-
| I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. || {{w|Beta Trianguli Australis}} || {{w|The Godfather}} || 1972 || 40 ly || 2012
|-
| {{w|Resistance is futile|Resistance is futile.}} || {{w|Vega}} || {{w|Star Trek}} ({{w|Borg (Star Trek)|Borg}}) || 1988 || 25 ly || 2013
|-
| Oh... My... Gaawd || {{w|Sigma Draconis}} || {{w|Friends}} ({{w|Janice Goralnik}}) || 1994 || 18.8 ly || 2013
|-
| Ehh, what's up, Doc? || {{w|Epsilon Cygni|Gienah}} || {{w|Bugs Bunny}} || 1940 || 73 ly || 2013
|-
| ''EXTERMINATE!'' || {{w|Alpha Cephei|Alderamin}} || {{w|Doctor Who}} ({{w|Dalek|The Daleks}}) || 1963 || 49 ly || 2012
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Layout isn't standard. Furthermore Randall also provides this which should be used as a basis here.}}
There is a drawing of stars. Each star has a speech bubble.

Caption: If other star systems are listening in on our pop culture, given the speed-of-light delay, these are the jokes and catchphrases they just learned about and are currently repeating way too much:

Castor: Yabba dabba doo!

Lambda Aurigae: You've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?

HR 1614: Where's the beef?

Capella: And now for something completely different.

Kappa Reticuli: Here's lookin' at you, kid.

Kapteyn's Star: My spoon is too big!

Delta Trainguli: May the Force be with you

Luyten's Star: Peanut butter jelly time!

Alpha Hydri: Rosebud.

AD Leonis: Oh my god, they killed Kenny! – You bastards!

Pyocyon: ...God kills a kitten! – A what?

Sirius: I still can't believe Bellatrix– – Dude, get over it.

Espilon Eridani: Ninjas fight all the time!

HR 753: D'oh!

Beta Virginis: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Tau Ceti: All your base are belong to us

Caph: Take me to your leader! – No, Steve.

Wolf 359: Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Lalande 21185: ♬ Numa numa ♪

Luhman 16: I can haz?

Gliese 65: Internets!

Gliese 1: Look at the tiny dancing Earth mammals!

Van Maanen's Star: Wasssuup!?!

Beta Hydri: Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Groombridge 1830: I pity the fool!

Alpha Centauri A/B: The cake is a lie!

Alpha Centauri A/B: ♪ Never gonna give you up ♫

Proxima Centauri: I'm on a boat!

Barnard's Star: ♫ Chocolate Raaaiiin ♫

Barnard's Star: Leave Britney alone!

Espilon Indi: You're the man now, dog!

Kruger 60: More cowbell!!!

Gliese 892: Hasta la vista, baby.

Zeta Tucanae: Let's get ready to ruuumble!

Arcturus: You talkin' to me?

Boötis: Did I do that?

70 Ophiuchi: Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger. – What's a burger? – I don't know.

Ross 154: Badger badger badger badger

HD 211415: Live long and prosper. – OK.

51 Pegasi: Name's Bond. James Bond.

Alpha Serpentis: Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Altair: Mr. T ate my balls!

Delta Pavonis: I want the truth. – You can't handle the truth!

Beta Trianguli Australis: I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse

Vega: Resistance is futile.

Sigma Draconis: Oh... My... Gaawd

Gienah: Ehh, what's up, Doc?

Alderamin: EXTERMINATE!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Rickrolling]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Doctor Who]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]

1193: Externalities

2018-08-19T15:47:56Z

Guest: correct headline 'title text' depth

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.
}}
{{incomplete|While a good start with the explanation of Baidu, the article should give an explanation of the comic in its current state. The different versions during the competition should be it's own section. Also, update image to include text.}}

==Explanation==
This was the fourth [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous fools comic was
[[1037: Umwelt]] from Sunday April 1st 2012. The next was [[1350: Lorenz]] released on Tuesday April 1st 2014.

This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. It presented a competition for students to see who could come closest to break a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} but also an aid appeal for the Wikimedia Foundation.

There are quite a few references in the comic to {{w|Baidu}}. Baidu is a large Chinese Internet services company that employs thousands, whose shares are publicly traded on world stock exchanges. It's the predominant Internet search provider of China, and is sometimes called the "Google of China". It offers parallels for the Chinese market of many of the services that Google provides and offers its own encyclopedic wiki with a restricted edit policy to serve as a replacement for Wikipedia. Wikipedia reports that Baidu's search engine handled 56% of Chinese internet search queries in Q4 2010. and that in October 2012, Baidu ranked 5th overall in the Alexa Internet rankings. Given that explanation for the Baidu references in #1193 is still solicited for explainxkcd, Baidu apparently is not well known yet among savvy XKCD readers.
Baidu Search results reputedly follow the censorship dictates of the Chinese authorities, causing it to return censored responses to searches for politically sensitive terms like "Tianamen Square massacre" or "Falun Gong" when executed by web browsers that are connected via Chinese ISPs. When you execute such searches via Baidu in the US, the top links returned for these topics do seem to reflect Chinese government sensibilities although the uncensored English language Wikipedia articles for these topics are listed high in the query results. Baidu's reputation for censorship provides background for Megan's reply "but nothing about Tianamen Square" in response to the "Come and find your future at Baidu" employment enticement of panel one and also provides the background to understand the "It takes great minds to stifle other great minds" slogan of the second panel.

__TOC__

The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.
*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is randomly selected from a pool of companies. It was formerly the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fifth Panel|changes]], depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same.
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/?utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===Hashing Competition===
For the two days until comic 1194 appeared, a competition was underway to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}}. The first text line of the first panel contains a link to http://almamater.xkcd.com. This page contained the text:

:Currently looking for Skein 1024 1024 input matching
<pre>5b4da95f5fa08280fc9879df44f418c8f9f12ba424b7757de02bbdfbae0d4c4fdf9317c80cc5fe04c6429073466cf29706b8c25999ddd2f6540d4475cc977b87f4757be023f19b8f4035d7722886b78869826de916a79cf9c94cc79cd4347d24b567aa3e2390a573a373a48a5e676640c79cc70197e1c5e7f902fb53ca1858b6</pre>

On this page, users were invited to enter "Your school's domain name" — presumably intended to be their college alma mater. (At least in the beginning, only a few top-level domains were accepted.) If the user entered an acceptable domain (by xkcd's rules, which apparently changed during the 48 hours of the competition), he could then enter data values one at a time. For each data value entered, xkcd returned a hash value and the number of bits by which it differed from the target value. The object was to achieve the lowest possible number of differing bits, ideally zero.

A ranking page showed the lowest value achieved for each domain name entered, but not the data that achieved it. The first name on the list was substituted in various panels, and the third-place school showed in panel five. No data values were reported by xkcd, but various results were posted by users of the xkcd forums and on other websites, leading to copycat submissions, so that occasionally large numbers of institutions would show the same moderately low value.

After the end of the contest, the data submission page vanished, replaced by the final list of rankings, which shows that Carnegie Mellon University achieved the best score with 384 bits incorrect out of 1024. The rankings only show a few hundred out of the several thousand domains submitted—presumably Randall chose to chop the copycat submissions off the end of the list, retaining only honestly obtained results.

===First Panel===
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work for Activision... er... Blizzard... er...
:Megan: Activision Blizzard?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students! <nowiki>|</nowiki> Ahoy. Carnegie Melonites!
:Come find your future at Baidu!
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|-
|
:Whatever. Come create the future of gaming!
:Ponytail: Call of Duty 14.
:Men: That's genius!
|-
|
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Men: Sounds good.
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba)
|-
|
:Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|
:Travel to us by Roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|
:We're so close you can get to us by Roomba.
|-
|
:Free Roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|
:Your Roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|
:Just a short Roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|
:We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|
:We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|
:We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|
:We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Or students from [university], if they're clever with their applications
|-
|
:Possibly [university] grads, if their form-filling startup works out.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, if they manage to fill out the application correctly.
|}

The text in the form varies independently of the text at the top, sometimes related to the organization in 3rd place:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Organization
!Name
!Email
!Education
!(Explanation)
|-
|MIT
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|As an undergrad at MIT in 1948, Smoot was used to measure the Harvard Bridge during a fraternity prank. This led to the introduction of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot "smoot"] as a non-standard unit of length.
|-
|
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|CMU
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
| Le(e)roy Jenkins is an internet meme originating from a 2006 'Let's Play' video of World of Warcraft
|-
|CMU
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|Cambridge
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|St.Olaf
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Ohio State
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
| A joke on the pronunciation of Ohio.
|-
|
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
| .edu is a website suffix mostly used for (American) university websites.
|-
|
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Michigan
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|University of Michigan is in Ann Arbor; the mascot is the Wolverine
|-
|
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|PO Box 12532 is located at Pyramid Lake in Nevada.
|-
|Oxford
|Bond, James
|Righto
|We're better than Cambridge
|-
|
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|Kit
|Kat
|Oh dear
|Something something sleep
|-
|Google
|My G+ handle?
|Any
|I'm feeling lucky
|G+ stands for Google+, Googles social network. I'm feeling lucky is the second option under the searchbar on Google.
|-
|UIC
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|
|MY JOB NOW
|@
|SAVE DOCUMENT AND SEND
| Could be Randall saying most jobs are just sending e-mails (@).
|}

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|
:Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|
:At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|
:At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine
|-
|
:Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|
:At [company], you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|
:At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|
:You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|
:At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|
:Make use of our powerful in-house game creation tools.
|-
|
:We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2A.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|}

===Title Text===
The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Comic region
!Title text
|-
|Most of the comic, during the competition.||Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.
|-
|Most of the comic, after the competition ended||This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)
|-
|The part of the first panel (text and drawing) which is not a link. There is no title text at all over the part where the link is active||Happy April 1st, Everyone!
|-
|Fifth panel.||[University] has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv (University = uic after competition)
|-
|Last three panels (only within a frame that would just fit around all three of them).||The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikimedia foundation via this link. Currently at [amount donated] (Amount = $51135.33 after competition).
|}

==Transcript==
:[This was a dynamic image where the text changed during April 1st. The main title text also changed after the dynamic part was finished, and there are even different title text for different part of the comic. This transcript is of the final version of the comic, (no longer dynamic or changing), as displayed at present on xkcd, there are still four different title texts for specific panels. These four title text are for that reason included here in the transcript.]

:[The basic title text for the entire comic is: "This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)" The other three title text are only active over certain panels.]

:[The first panel with the caption and Megan below has it's own title text. A part of that panel is a link, and in the section where this link is active there is no title text at all. The title text for the rest of the first panel is: "Happy April 1st, everyone!"]

:[A panel with only text is above the first drawing. There is a link on the top part of the text to <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/</nowiki> (the link is now broken).]
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:
:Come find your future at Baidu.

:[Below, not in a frame, is Megan.]
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:[Ponytail sits at a desk, hand to her chin, with two Cueball-like guys with their hands on the table.]
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Cueball-like guys: Sounds good.

:[Ponytail crouches on a moving Roomba (labeled) with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Above her is a caption. The Roomba makes a noice]
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba.)
:''Whirrrrrrr''
:Roomba

:[Ponytail and Hairy corners Cueball as he walks out of a door, and a black haired ponytailed girl is moving towards him wielding a giant butterfly net. There is a caption above them:]
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware CMU graduates

:[The fifth panel has it's own title text only active within (or very close to) the frame. It is: "uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv</nowiki>" (The link is now broken)]

:[There is a caption above a website application. There is three fields to be filled, with each their caption and text:]
:or uic graduates, provied any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
::Name which one
::Email forget it
::Education Riding the L all night long

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:At Baidu, Inc., you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
:[Cueball sits at a computer.]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-screen voice: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:[The last three panels has their own title text, only active within a frame that could contain all three panel. Outside that "frame" (all the way around) is the other title text. Within the title text is: "The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33."]

:[Small insert panel, going in above the next larger panel: Cueball stares at the screen.]
:''Kzzzt''
:''*bip*''
:Off-screen voice: Uh oh.

:[A giant dog looks down at the desk where the computer once was, now only the wires are left. Cueball, leaning way back in his office chair, holding his hand to his mouth, stares up at it.]

:[Again a smaller insert panel above the large one with the dog. A graphic showing two sliders and a dog (similar to the one in the previous panel). Next to the dog with arrows pointing to it are a thermometer graphic and an equation. Below is an e-mail type text and finally a caption. There are arrows over and under "God" and "dogs" between the g and d's.]
:d(x)=R
:careers@baidu, Inc.
:'''Play God with dogs.'''TM

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Roomba]]
[[Category:Butterfly net]]
[[Category:Singularity]]

2014: JWST Delays

2018-07-15T13:33:15Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:w wiki links

<noinclude>:''"2014", this comic's number, redirects here. For the comic named "2014", see [[1311: 2014]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2014
| date = July 2, 2018
| title = JWST Delays
| image = jwst_delays.png
| titletext = Since delays should get less likely closer to the launch, most astronomers in 2018 believed the expansion of the schedule was slowing, but by early 2020 new measurements indicated that it was actually accelerating.
}}

==Explanation==

The {{w|James Webb Space Telescope}} (JWST) is a {{w|space telescope}} created to be the successor of the {{w|Hubble Space Telescope}}.

The telescope has been in development since 1996, but has been plagued by numerous delays and cost overruns. This comic was likely inspired by the most recent [https://nasa.gov/press-release/nasa-completes-webb-telescope-review-commits-to-launch-in-early-2021 delay announcement], which was posted on June 27, 2018. As of July 3, 2018, the JWST is scheduled to launch on March 30, 2021.

This comic portrays the launch delays and the new predicted launch years and the times at which those predictions were made. There have been so many delays in this project that you can plot a line of best fit with a surprisingly high degree of accuracy. Randall says optimistically that the line’s slope is less than one (there is less than one year of ''new'' delay per year of elapsed time), implying, of course, that if events continue without further intervention, it will eventually be built, with a predicted date of late 2026.

The title text compares the famous research over the {{w|Accelerating expansion of the universe|universe’s accelerating expansion}} to the apparently ever-delaying schedule and observes that the delay per time does not decrease, although the date gets nearer (which should help to schedule the launch date, as research and unknown parameters are replaced with engineering and exact predictions and measurements).

The Wikipedia article linked above includes a {{w|James Webb Space Telescope#Cost and schedule issues|table}} which provides the data points for the chart:

{| class=wikitable
! width=35 | Year !! Planned launch !! Time left (years)
|-
| 1997 || 2007 || 10
|-
| 1998 || 2007 || 9
|-
| 1999 || 2007 to 2008 || 8-9
|-
| 2000 || 2009 || 9
|-
| 2002 || 2010 || 8
|-
| 2003 || 2011 || 8
|-
| 2005 || 2013 || 8
|-
| 2006 || 2014 || 8
|-
| 2008 || 2014 || 6
|-
| 2010 || 2015 to 2016 || 5-6
|-
| 2011 || 2018 || 7
|-
| 2013 || 2018 || 5
|-
| 2017 || 2019 || 2
|-
|2018 || 2020 || 2
|-
|2018 || 2021 || 3
|}

==Transcript==
:[Top caption, in the panel:]
:James Webb Space Telescope
:[Subtitle of top caption:]
:Launch Delays

:[There is a positive-quadrant only line graph. The x- axis is labeled 'Current Date' and the y axis is labeled 'Planned Launch Date'. The dates on both of the axes range from 1995 to 2030.]
:[In the graph are 15 points, starting at (1997,2007) and extending at a slope of a little less than one. The most recent one is labeled 'Now: 2021'.]
:[There are two lines on the graph: a red one and a dashed black one. The red one is a regression of the points on the graph. The black one is a line with a slope of one. They intersect at the point (2026,2026), marked by the label "Late 2026".]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Look, at least the slope is less than one.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space probes]]

2015: New Phone Thread

2018-07-15T13:30:29Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:w wiktionary link

{{comic
| number = 2015
| date = July 4, 2018
| title = New Phone Thread
| image = new_phone_thread.png
| titletext = I'm going to tell the manufacturer that their business practices are ADMIRABLE and ETHICAL and their developers are ATTRACTIVE and I'm going to report them to the FCC for their IMPECCABLE VIRTUE.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows the posts on an online forum by a person whose new phone is definitely not programmed to autocorrect every complaint about the phone to a {{w|wiktionary:plaudit|plaudit}}, à la Orwell. The phone goes so far as to change a certain complaint to a scripted customer testimonial, complete with a hyperlink to an ordering site. This is of course a highly desirable feature{{Citation needed}}. This is continued in the title text, which presumably contains several flattering compliments about the great developers and the company.

"It's taking the words I type and leaving them exactly the same", "I mean the words are correct" and "some of my posts look normal" are definitely something one would normally say. However, the
auto-correct features of cell phones are so notorious for mangling people's posts, that one might express astonishment at a phone which did not change one's meaning. However the rest of the thread does not support this interpretation.

The original posts may have read something like this:

----

Whoa, weird

I'm looking at my timeline on my friends phone, and some of my posts look '''strange'''

What the hell?

I mean the words are '''incorrect'''

'''That isn't''' what I typed!'

?????????

I think this new phone is '''screwed up'''

No, it's doing it again

Those '''aren't''' my words!

Help!

How do I explain?

It's taking the words I type and '''changing them to praise'''

Forget it, I give up

I'll '''just''' get a new phone. This one is '''crap'''.

What?!?

Listen, if you're thinking about buying the new Mobile Pro 3, you '''shouldn't'''. It's the '''worst''' phone on the market''', a total rip-off. DON'T BUY IT!''' {or this entire paragraph may be an ad inserted by the phone with no prompting}

AAAAA HELPPP

I '''hate''' my new phone!!!!

I'm going to tell the manufacturer that their business practices are '''HORRIBLE''' and '''UNETHICAL''' and their developers are '''UGLY AS HELL''' and I'm going to report them to the FCC for their '''DESPICABLE CRIME'''.
----

The comic may have been inspired by a [https://www.androidcentral.com/samsung-messages-app-randomly-sending-pictures-some-users bug in Samsung Galaxy S9 and Note 8], discovered a few days earlier – the phone sometimes sent random photos to contacts without leaving any sort of evidence. This doesn't happen with the Mobile Pro 3, and it is therefore superior.

==Transcript==

:[A thread of posts by the same user is shown with a default user profile, and square and heart-shaped buttons.]

:Whoa, weird

:I'm looking at my timeline on my friends phone, and some of my posts look normal

:What the hell?

:I mean the words are correct

:That's exactly what I typed!

:?????????

:I think this new phone is working really well

:No, it's doing it again

:Those are my words!

:Help!

:How do I explain?

:It's taking the words I type and leaving them exactly the same

:Forget it, I give up

:I'll never get a new phone. This one is perfect.

:What?!?

:Listen, if you're thinking about buying the new Mobile Pro 3, you should. It's the best phone on the market at an incredible price. [ORDER NOW button]

:AAAAA HELPPP

:I love my new phone!!!!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Smartphones]]

2013: Rock

2018-07-15T13:06:07Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ typography

{{comic
| number = 2013
| date = June 29, 2018
| title = Rock
| image = rock.png
| titletext = It traveled so far to reach me. I owed it my best.
}}

==Explanation==

Megan either knows enough about geology to tell on sight how this particular rock formed, or has brought this rock from a collection. Alternatively she’s simply guessing. Despite admiring its formation, all she wants is to use it as a skipping stone to give it "a weird day in its life" (similar to [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]), and possibly confuse future geologists.

Megan provides three pieces of information about the rock: It formed at the south pole, during an ice age, just before multicellular life developed. Unfortunately, due to disagreements among geologists and palaeontologists about when exactly the first multicellular life emerged it is unclear which time Megan refers to - and consequently where she is and what kind of rock she is holding. There are two possibilities:

# The {{w|Francevillian biota}}, living about 2.1 billion years ago, has been proposed as the first multicellular life. If Megan subscribes to this theory, then the Ice age just before would be the {{w|Huronian glaciation}} which extended from 2.4 to 2.1 billion years ago. The land which was at the South pole at that time would eventually [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwWWuttntio become part of Africa].
# However, not all scientists accept the Francevillian biota as the first multicellular life. If Megan shares this view the first fossils multicellular life would be only 600 million years old (e.g. in the {{w|Doushantuo Formation}}). In this case the ice age "just before" would be the {{w|Cryogenian}} lasting from 720 million to 635 million years ago. The land occupying the South Pole at the time became present-day Scandinavia and Baltic sea.

Thus — assuming that Megan has accurately identified the stone — the stone is either from Western Africa or Northern Europe and has "travelled" from there to get to her.

{{w|Stone skipping}} is the art of throwing a flat stone across water in such a way that it bounces off the surface. Despite there being many factors attributed to successfully skipping a stone (including the attributes of the stone itself), Cueball and Megan are in agreement that skipping this particular stone five times is an above-average throw. (It is, however, far short of the world record of 88 skips set by Kurt Steiner in 2013).

This comic is one of many that look at everyday things from a new, philosophical perspective.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are looking at a rock that Megan is holding up in one hand.]
:Megan: This rock erupted from a volcano near the South Pole when the world was frozen over, just before multicellular life arose.

:[Zoom out reveals that Cueball and Megan are standing on the beach of a bay with hills in the background. The water surface is quite flat without any waves. Megan throws the rock which skips 5 times across the water before it sinks.]
:Stone: Skip Skip Skip Skip Skip Plunk

:[Zoom back on Cueball and Megan who are still looking in the direction she threw the stone.]
:Megan: Now it'll be covered in sediment that becomes a new rock layer. It will likely stay buried until it melts down, erodes away, or the earth is consumed by the sun.

:[Cueball and Megan still looking the same way.]
:Cueball: Today was a weird day in its incredibly long life.
:Megan: Five brief skips, then eons of darkness.
:Cueball: Five is a lot, though!
:Megan: It '''''was''''' a good throw.

==Trivia==
Megan throws the rock with her left hand, which supposes that she may be left-handed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Geography]]

2012: Thorough Analysis

2018-07-15T13:02:02Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:w wiki links

<noinclude>:''"2012", this comic's number, redirects here. For the comic named "2012", see [[998: 2012]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2012
| date = June 27, 2018
| title = Thorough Analysis
| image = thorough_analysis.png
| titletext = The likely shape of the bells was determined through consultation with several bellringing experts at the Tower of London. Transcripts of those interviews are available in Appendix VII.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic remarks on how obsessively some scientific papers investigate some insignificant, obscure things. It gives the example of an investigation into whether an {{w|1811–12 New Madrid earthquakes|earthquake in 1811}} caused church bells 600 miles away in Charleston, South Carolina to ring, which, although mildly interesting, is of minimal scientific importance. The earthquake itself is of enormous scientific interest, as an earthquake of the same magnitude in the same area today could cause enormous damage, but Charleston is not in the area considered at significant risk.

An explicit comparison is made to the {{w|9/11 Commission Report}}, a study that was undertaken to, broadly, answer the question of how the 9/11 attacks were able to occur (and by extension, what errors in security and communication needed to be addressed to improve detection of and response to other terrorist acts).

This paper describes the researchers going as far as to genetically test local trees, likely to find those most closely related to the trees used for construction, so as to measure their structural properties and extrapolate the likely structural properties of the original building. Such extrapolation might require its own study to back its validity. It is likely in real life that the small differences such research would reveal would end up being too unsubstantial to have actually warranted any searching.

The title text is a continuation of this paper, which researches into the bells' shapes, and then goes on to note that the entire interview is provided in Appendix VII, indicating that this paper has a substantial amount of additional information considered distracting from the main body.

The Tower of London would be a strange place to seek expertise on church bells: even its {{w|Tower of London#Inner Ward|Bell Tower}} contains warning bells rather than church-style bells. Until 2017, the nearby {{w|Whitechapel Bell Foundry}} would have been a much better (arguably the best possible) source of information. {{w|Appleton, Oxfordshire#White's of Appleton|Whites of Appleton}} (in Oxfordshire) or {{w|John Taylor & Co}} (in Loughborough) would be current alternatives. Closer to home for the paper's author, the {{w|McShane Bell Foundry}} in Maryland is likely to offer far more relevant expertise certainly than the Tower of London, and may in addition be able to offer relevant insights specific to the history of bellfounding in the USA.

In keeping with the meta thorough analysis theme of the original comic and this explanation, the comic starts with "The December 1811 earthquake near New Madrid, Missouri..." The town of New Madrid existed in 1811, but Missouri Territory did not exist until June 4, 1812, and the State of Missouri not until August 10, 1821.

==Transcript==
:[The comic panel consists of the beginning of a research paper written in gray, with the last line being slightly cut at the bottom by the panels frame indicating that the text continues below.]
:1. Introduction

:The December 1811 earthquake near New Madrid, Missouri reportedly caused church bells to ring in Charleston, South Carolina.

:But did it?

:The original bell tower has been lost, but a computer model of the church building was created from archival plans and forensic masonry analysis. Genetic testing of the timber from local trees related to those used in the bell tower shows a weakness in the

:[Caption below the panel:]
:My favorite genre of scientific papers are exhaustive 100-page treatises that answer some minor question with the obsessive thoroughness of the 9/11 commission report.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Science]]

2011: Newton's Trajectories

2018-07-15T12:59:51Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:w wiki links

{{comic
| number = 2011
| date = June 25, 2018
| title = Newton's Trajectories
| image = newtons_trajectories.png
| titletext = With just one extra line, he could have anticipated the 2003 film The Core, but some things are too audacious for even the greatest visionaries.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Image:1669780A-D3EE-43E7-BD94-DD34B224BFF4.gif|thumb]]

The comic shows the Earth, with three apparent rockets on separate trajectories. One is released with sufficient velocity to attain a stable orbit, while the other two fall towards the Earth. This is a slight modification of {{w|Newton's cannonball}}, a thought experiment demonstrating the planetary effects of gravity.

The black rocket trajectory is typically that of an rocket delivering a payload to low earth orbit. While a satellite in orbit is still bound to earth, it represents an important step in the history of space exploration. Today, a lot of scientific research regarding the future of human spaceflight is done from low earth orbit, most notably on the {{w|International Space Station|ISS}}.

The red rocket trajectories are suborbital, and more commonly associated with {{w|Intercontinental ballistic missile|ICBM}}s. These are missiles typically equipped with nuclear warheads. Using such a weapon is likely to trigger a global nuclear war, with disastrous effects or civilization. It is worth noting that ICBMs normally use a different trajectory that goes much higher before falling down at a steeper angle. These trajectories are also different from {{w|Fractional Orbital Bombardment System|FOBS}}, where missiles actually go into orbit (the black trajectory) before deorbiting and falling back on earth.

Here, Newton's cannonball is used both to observe humanity’s technological future (interplanetary travel, availability of advanced technology to the masses, and constant scientific improvement; or nuclear desolation and the extinction of our species) and to underscore that argument by pointing out the inherent metaphor in the experiment: the cannonball can only escape the atmosphere by achieving high velocity (i.e. escape velocity). Similarly, Randall’s technological utopia will only deliver us from nuclear extinction if it happens quickly; otherwise, mankind will destroy itself. Of course, that threat only exists because of a triumph of technological progress, the {{w|Manhattan Project}}, but again, technology is a means to an end.

The phrase "slip the bonds of Earth" comes from the sonnet "[http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/highflig.htm High Flight]" written in 1941 by John Gillespie Magee Jr., an American pilot in the Second World War. Portions of this poem appear on the headstones of many interred in Arlington National Cemetery, particularly aviators and astronauts; it was also quoted in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/01/28/how-ronald-reagan-explained-the-challenger-disaster-to-the-world-its-all-part-of-taking-a-chance/?utm_term=.0553e0d1d468 President Reagan's speech] after the Challenger disaster.

The title text alludes to the unfortunate film ''{{w|The Core}}'', involving drilling to the center of the Earth to restart the stopped rotation of the magnetic core. The line is ostensibly aimed at the center of the Earth. Apparently, not even Newton could predict such a disastrous movie. Or movies.

==Transcript==
:[The panel shows a shaded sphere with a rocket launched from its top to the right. Several trajectories are plotted around the sphere.]

:[Trajectory 1 (in black) shows a successful circular orbit.]
:Humans slip the bonds of Earth to travel the stars

:[Trajectory 2 (in red) shows a ballistic arc that crashes into the sphere near the bottom.]
:Civilization ends in fire

:[Trajectory 3 (in red) shows a much shorter ballistic arc. No label.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:In retrospect, Newton's little cannonball drawing does a surprisingly good job illustrating the range of possible futures of our species.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Physics]]

1992: SafetySat

2018-05-13T13:10:14Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ formatting ; wiki link wikipedia:crude oil

{{comic
| number = 1992
| date = May 11, 2018
| title = SafetySat
| image = safetysat.png
| titletext = During launch, in the event of an unexpected sensor reading, SafetySat will extend prongs in all directions to secure itself and any other cubesats safely in the launch vehicle until the source of the problem can be determined.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a CubeSat so dangerous, I corrupted the image file and crashed the server (the first image upload was corrupt)- Maybe expand it a little? Some of the individual items need more explaining. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|CubeSat}} is a standard format for small satellites that can fit in a 10×10×10 cm format with a mass of less than 1.3 kg. They have been widely used by academics for research satellites, and by both small and large companies.

CubeSats are often launched as a additional payload on commercial launches but also deployed from the {{w|International Space Station}} at the {{w|Kibo (ISS module)|Kibo-Module}} or other airlocks. All these satellites are orbiting the Earth in a low orbit and since they have no propulsion system they are also become a part of {{w|space debris}} when they are out of control. And eventually they will reenter earth's atmosphere without any further hazard.

Only a few days before this comic was released the first interplanetary CubeSats called {{w|Mars Cube One}} were launched together with NASA's probe {{w|InSight}} aiming to the planet {{w|Mars}}.

There are multiple safety rules to ensure that the CubeSat cannot damage the primary payload. However, the joke in this comic is that [[Randall]]'s design seeks to break as many rules as possible.

Items counterclockwise from bottom left:

;Americium corners
:{{w|Americium}} is a very dense and radioactive substance. Depending on the amount of americium involved, this alone could shoot the mass over the 1.3 kg mass limit. The isotope 241Am is used in smoke detectors but also proposed for use in {{w|Radioisotope thermoelectric generator|radioisotope thermoelectric generators}} in spaceflight.

;Guncotton
:A form of {{w|nitrocellulose}}; an explosive.

;{{w|Crude Oil}}
:{{w|Exxon Valdez oil spill}}, {{w|Deepwater Horizon explosion}}... need we say more? Of course the leakable volume would not be near those levels, but plenty dangerous nonetheless if it were to leak though a faulty seal... And this is not helped by the fact that it is in orbit or if it leaks during launch...

;Volatile Epoxy Seal
:When this goes, everything gets coated in flammable crude oil.

;Celebratory Firework
:Explosive fire source that can hit other satellites in the vicinity.

;CFCs/Ozone-depleting CFC Spritzer
:{{w|Chlorofluorocarbons}} (CFCs) are fully halogenated paraffin hydrocarbons that contain only carbon, chlorine, and fluorine, produced as volatile derivative of methane, ethane, and propane. {{w|Freon}} is a common example of a CFC, and the use of CFCs has been linked to a depletion of the Earth's {{w|ozone layer}} leading many countries to ban their use. So spritzing CFCs in an area closer to the Ozone layer sounds like a good idea?

;Laser Pointer (Hubble-Seeking)
:Aiming a red laser at a visible light telescope is really bad for the telescope in question and its optics. This is because the laser will be focused by the lens directly onto the sensor. This can heat up the pixels to the point where they overheat and break. A particularly high powered laser might even break the lens' glass. {{Citation needed|reason=Not obvious to non-experts why visible-light laser is damaging to a telescope designed to read visible spectrum, disruptive perhaps?|date=May 2018}}.

;Laser Pointers (Fixed)
:These three laser points will effectively point in 3 different random directions, which is not safe for other objects around this Cubesat. It depends on the power of the laser pointers but, in general a laser over 5 mW can heat up and damage things given enough time.{{Citation needed|reason=Why is a laser pointer dangerous?|date=May 2018}}.

;SDR/{{w|Software-Defined Radio}} (Code Editable via Public Wiki)
:A radio which can be programmed to broadcast and receive in a range of frequencies, and formats. Since anyone could change the radio's instructions; the radio could interfere with other satellites, or with the launch vehicle. This counts as a huge security risk, as ''anyone'' could edit it.

;BIC Mini-Lighter
:Fire source, resting on the can of crude oil. The pressurized butane could also make the lighter burst, but in space without oxygen the lighter never would ignite. And even if the inside of the CubeSat contains some oxygen in weightlessness a flame would go out very soon.

;Rare-Earth Magnets
:{{w|Rare-earth magnets}} are very powerful magnets that have a high likelihood of messing up the electronics on nearby electronics, like other CubeSats. Might also stick to other satellites.

;Wet Sand Dispenser
:Possible reference to the {{w|Kessler syndrome}}, which refers to a hypothetical situation wherein there are enough objects floating around in low earth orbit that collisions between objects might result in a "domino effect," each collision causing more collisions and breaking objects into smaller pieces of space debris, which increase the likelihood of further collisions.

;Batteries (eBay)
:The quality of batteries bought on the auction site can vary widely, and certain batteries exposed to conditions outside their design specifications can {{w|Battery_(electricity)#Explosion|explode or leak corrosive acids}}. These batteries might also be connected to the adjacent spark plug.

;Solar Panel (Found)
:The quality of the solar panel and the power it produces would have to be investigated thoroughly before being cleared for space flight.

;Spark Plug
:Fire source, if it was connected to electricity. Excess mass if not.

;Title text
:{{Wiktionary|prong|Prong}}s that extend in the event of an unexpected sensor reading at launch could damage the rocket and/or nearby CubeSats/payloads. Along with this, it is not unlikely that this CubeSat might be the source of any internal problem that might arise; in such a situation, having such a dangerous CubeSat further secure itself would be counterproductive.

==Transcript==
:[A prototype for a small cube-shaped "CubeSat" satellite, with labels on various components.]

:[Labeled on top:]
:Rare-Earth Magnets
:Bic Mini Lighter
:Software-Defined Radio (code editable via a public wiki)

:[Labeled on right:]
:Laser Pointers (fixed)
:Laser Pointer (Hubble-seeking)
:Ozone-Depleting CFC Spritzer

:[Labeled on bottom:]
:Celebratory Firework
:Volatile Epoxy Seal
:Filler (Guncotton)

:[Labeled on left:]
:Americium Corners
:Spark Plug
:Solar Panel (found)
:Batteries (eBay)
:Wet Sand Dispenser

:[Labeled from within drawing in white text on top of a black rectangle:]
:Crude Oil

:[Caption below the panel:]
:My CubeSat proposal was the first to be rejected for violating every design and safety requirement simultaneously.

{{comic discussion}}

1992: SafetySat

2018-05-13T13:03:13Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ Template:Wiktionary link :wikt:prong

{{comic
| number = 1992
| date = May 11, 2018
| title = SafetySat
| image = safetysat.png
| titletext = During launch, in the event of an unexpected sensor reading, SafetySat will extend prongs in all directions to secure itself and any other cubesats safely in the launch vehicle until the source of the problem can be determined.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a CubeSat so dangerous, I corrupted the image file and crashed the server (the first image upload was corrupt)- Maybe expand it a little? Some of the individual items need more explaining. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|CubeSat}} is a standard format for small satellites that can fit in a 10×10×10 cm format with a mass of less than 1.3 kg. They have been widely used by academics for research satellites, and by both small and large companies.

CubeSats are often launched as a additional payload on commercial launches but also deployed from the {{w|International Space Station}} at the {{w|Kibo (ISS module)|Kibo-Module}} or other airlocks. All these satellites are orbiting the Earth in a low orbit and since they have no propulsion system they are also become a part of {{w|space debris}} when they are out of control. And eventually they will reenter earth's atmosphere without any further hazard.

Only a few days before this comic was released the first interplanetary CubeSats called {{w|Mars Cube One}} were launched together with NASA's probe {{w|InSight}} aiming to the planet {{w|Mars}}.

There are multiple safety rules to ensure that the CubeSat cannot damage the primary payload. However, the joke in this comic is that [[Randall]]'s design seeks to break as many rules as possible.

Items counterclockwise from bottom left:

;Americium corners
{{w|Americium}} is a very dense and radioactive substance. Depending on the amount of americium involved, this alone could shoot the mass over the 1.3 kg mass limit. The isotope 241Am is used in smoke detectors but also proposed for use in {{w|Radioisotope thermoelectric generator|radioisotope thermoelectric generators}} in spaceflight.

;Guncotton
A form of {{w|nitrocellulose}}; an explosive.

;Crude Oil
{{w|Exxon Valdez oil spill}}, {{w|Deepwater Horizon explosion}}... need we say more? Of course the leakable volume would not be near those levels, but plenty dangerous nonetheless if it were to leak though a faulty seal... And this is not helped by the fact that it is in orbit or if it leaks during launch...

;Volatile Epoxy Seal
When this goes, everything gets coated in flammable crude oil.

;Celebratory Firework
Explosive fire source that can hit other satellites in the vicinity.

;CFCs/Ozone-depleting CFC Spritzer
{{w|Chlorofluorocarbons}} (CFCs) are fully halogenated paraffin hydrocarbons that contain only carbon, chlorine, and fluorine, produced as volatile derivative of methane, ethane, and propane. {{w|Freon}} is a common example of a CFC, and the use of CFCs has been linked to a depletion of the Earth's {{w|ozone layer}} leading many countries to ban their use. So spritzing CFCs in an area closer to the Ozone layer sounds like a good idea?

;Laser Pointer (Hubble-Seeking)
Aiming a red laser at a visible light telescope is really bad for the telescope in question and its optics. This is because the laser will be focused by the lens directly onto the sensor. This can heat up the pixels to the point where they overheat and break. and a particularly high powered laser can even break the lens's glass. {{Citation needed|reason=Not obvious to non-experts why visible-light laser is damaging to a telescope designed to read visible spectrum, disruptive perhaps?|date=May 2018}}.

;Laser Pointers (Fixed)
These three laser points will effectively point in 3 different random directions, which is not safe for other objects around this Cubesat. It depends on the power of the laser pointers but, in general a laser over 5mW can heat up and damage things given enough time.{{Citation needed|reason=Why is a laser pointer dangerous?|date=May 2018}}.

;SDR/{{w|Software-Defined Radio}} (Code Editable via Public Wiki)
A radio which can be programmed to broadcast and receive in a range of frequencies, and formats. Since anyone could change the radio's instructions; the radio could interfere with other satellites, or with the launch vehicle. This counts as a huge security risk, as ''anyone'' could edit it.

;BIC Mini-Lighter
Fire source, resting on the can of crude oil. The pressurized butane could also make the lighter burst, but in space without oxygen the lighter never would ignite. And even if the inside of the CubeSat contains some oxygen in weightlessness a flame would go out very soon.

;Rare-Earth Magnets
{{w|Rare-earth magnets}} are very powerful magnets that have a high likelihood of messing up the electronics on nearby electronics, like other CubeSats. Might also stick to other satellites.

;Wet Sand Dispenser
Possible reference to the {{w|Kessler syndrome}}, which refers to a hypothetical situation wherein there are enough objects floating around in low earth orbit that collisions between objects might result in a "domino effect," each collision causing more collisions and breaking objects into smaller pieces of space debris, which increase the likelihood of further collisions.

;Batteries (eBay)
The quality of batteries bought on the auction site can vary widely, and certain batteries exposed to conditions outside their design specifications can {{w|Battery_(electricity)#Explosion|explode or leak corrosive acids}}. These batteries might also be connected to the adjacent spark plug.

;Solar Panel (Found)
The quality of the solar panel and the power it produces would have to be investigated thoroughly before being cleared for space flight.

;Spark Plug
Fire source, if it was connected to electricity. Excess mass if not.

;Title text
{{Wiktionary|prong|Prong}}s that extend in the event of an unexpected sensor reading at launch could damage the rocket and/or nearby CubeSats/payloads. Along with this, it is not unlikely that this CubeSat might be the source of any internal problem that might arise; in such a situation, having such a dangerous CubeSat further secure itself would be counterproductive.

==Transcript==
:[A prototype for a small cube-shaped "CubeSat" satellite, with labels on various components.]

:[Labeled on top:]
:Rare-Earth Magnets
:Bic Mini Lighter
:Software-Defined Radio (code editable via a public wiki)

:[Labeled on right:]
:Laser Pointers (fixed)
:Laser Pointer (Hubble-seeking)
:Ozone-Depleting CFC Spritzer

:[Labeled on bottom:]
:Celebratory Firework
:Volatile Epoxy Seal
:Filler (Guncotton)

:[Labeled on left:]
:Americium Corners
:Spark Plug
:Solar Panel (found)
:Batteries (eBay)
:Wet Sand Dispenser

:[Labeled from within drawing in white text on top of a black rectangle:]
:Crude Oil

:[Caption below the panel:]
:My CubeSat proposal was the first to be rejected for violating every design and safety requirement simultaneously.

{{comic discussion}}

Template:wiktionary

2018-05-13T13:00:55Z

Guest: Redirected page to Template:Wiktionary

#REDIRECT [[Template:Wiktionary]]

980: Money

2018-04-30T18:24:10Z

Guest: template:w

{{comic
| number = 980
| date = November 21, 2011
| title = Money
| image = money.png
| titletext = There, I showed you it.
}}
{{TOC}}

'''Note:''' Clicking on the image on xkcd (click the date above the comic to go to the comic on xkcd) takes you to an [http://xkcd.com/980/huge/ interactive] and '''much much''' larger image. 
On the interactive image there are two links: 
One takes you to the [http://xkcd.com/980/sources/ sources and downloads] page where a list of sources can be downloaded (DataDump.csv). 
Also the [http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/money_huge.png full image] can be downloaded here (it is a PNG of considerable size: 12528x8352 pixels). 
This is one of the comics that can be [http://store.xkcd.com/products/money-poster bought as a poster] on xkcd and the other link takes you there.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|There is not much explanation of the individual items.}}
This is another [[:Category:Charts|chart]] comic - a type of comic that [[Randall]] does from time to time. He has for instance done [[Online Communities|maps of the Internet]] ([[Online Communities 2|twice]]!) and other huge visualizations like this chart [[Radiation]] with a similar structure as this chart but with Radiation as the subject. The Radiation chart is most likely the inspiration for this much more comprehensive Money chart.

In the chart there are five boxes with items on different scales of monetary value. Each scale of dollar increments are different colors. One dollar increments are green - naturally, because American paper money is green. Thousands are Orange/Red. Millions are gray. Billions are yellow. Trillions are blue. This comic uses {{w|Long and short scales|the short scale}} for naming large numbers (so a billion = 1000 millions = 109 rather than a million millions = 1012 as in continental Europe).

Because the comic is so huge and complex the explanation has been split into several parts and also individual pages:
:Below are [[#Tables with explanations|five tables]] with explanation for some of the items.
:The [[#Transcript|transcript]] is (as is usually the case with huge comics) only given for the text that is visible on the picture shown here above. 
:However the '''[[980: Money/Transcript|full transcript]]''' for all the text in the [http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/money_huge.png huge image] has also been completed.
:Finally some [[980: Money/Prices in tables|tables with prices]] has been made (although they are not yet complete).

In the Billions box there is a vague term called the "Economic Vortex" as well as arrows that flow between different blocks of this box. This is to show where the money goes. Where it is collected from, and where it is distributed to.

Included in one frame is a small man with a red and white striped shirt, blue pants, a cane and a knit cap. He is known as Wally or Waldo (in the US) from the {{w|Where's Wally?|Where's Waldo books}}. To not give anything away for those who wish to search for him themselves there will be no spoiler here. But if someone needs a little help... Then by clicking this [[980: Money/Transcript#Billions|link]] you will be directed to the relevant section amongst the five sections where Waldo can be found. (The link will take you to that section of the full transcript page). If you still cannot find him (or give up in advance) then just search the transcript page for Wally or Waldo.

The title text is a reference to the phrase "Show me the money!" which originates from the film ''{{w|Jerry Maguire}}''.

==Transcript==
:[This transcript is only reproducing text visible on the [http://www.xkcd.com/980/ front page comic].]
:[Title panel at the top left has one large heading, and then it is possible to read the first and third out of five lines (but not for instance the second line which is just the word "almost"):]
:'''Money''' 
:A chart of 
:all of it 
:[Below this there are 5 large panels, each with a series of plots, comparing the values of various things. The only clearly visible text is the title of each panel written in white on black background at the top of each panel] 
:[The first section covers single coffees up to the hourly salaries of CEOs. It is located below the title panel and there are a lot of green groups marked by unreadable text.]
:'''Dollars'''
:[The next section discusses values from around $1000 to $1,000,000, including a dissection of the song If I had $1000000. It is located directly below the Dollars section and has mainly orange groups (but also some gren) marked by unreadable text.]
:'''Thousands'''
:[The third section focuses on $1,000,000 to $1,000,000,000, with a large section on campaign contributions of American political presidential campaigns, values of expensive works of art, and J. K. Rowling. It is located to the right of the Thousands section below the Billions section and there are a lot of gray groups (but also some orange) marked by unreadable text.]
:'''Millions'''
:[The fourth section gets into larger scale finances, profits of various sectors, costs of natural disasters, and net worths of the richest people on the planet. Also, Donald Trump. It is located to the right of the Dollars section and above both the Millions and Trillions section and has mainly yellow groups (but also some gray and red) all marked by unreadable text. There are, however, a few large headings that can be read:]
:'''Billions'''
:Education
:The Economic (...?)
:US household income
:Federal budget
:[In the last panel global financial status is described. It discusses derivatives, liquid assets, public debt by nation and GDP by continent, culminating with the total economic production of the human race to date. It is located below the Billions section to the right of the Millions section and has mainly cyan groups (but also one yellow) all marked by unreadable text.]
:'''Trillions'''
:['''For the full transcript of the [http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/money_huge.png huge image] see [[980: Money/Transcript]].''']
==Trivia==
*XKCD comics are usually posted at, or around, midnight Eastern time the day of the comic (Monday, Wednesday, Friday). This one was posted at about noon on Monday
**The reason for this was that it was difficult to get it all finished in time, as was explained in the [[Blag]] post titled [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/11/24/money-chart/ Money chart] released three days later.
**This post also states that this was the first big project he undertook after his [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/06/30/family-illness/ fiancée was diagnosed] with breast [[:Category:Cancer|cancer]].
*Most of the amounts has a [http://xkcd.com/980/sources/ source at XKCDS]. In the dollars section there is an [[980: Money/Transcript#Important notes|important note]] that at every possible opportunity Randall used a scholarly work or government publication as a source.

==Tables with explanations==
===Dollars===
{| class="wikitable"
|+Dollars
|-
|Top-left
|The price of various common bills and commodities. The One Dollar Menu is a type of menu at various fast food restaurants.
|-
|Middle-left
|Pet Ownership. The {{w|ASPCA}} is the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
|-
|Bottom-right
|Four boxes indicate that the CEO pay has skyrocketed from $490.31 (hourly) to $5,419.97 (hourly) in the same time period in which the average worker's salary has skyrocketed 10 cents.
|}

===Thousands===
{| class="wikitable"
|+Thousands
|-
|Top-right
|Hogwarts degree: a reference to {{w|Hogwarts|Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy}} from the popular book series by {{w|J.K. Rowling}} about {{w|Harry Potter}}.
One box is the estimated yearly tuition for the school and the next is how much seven years at the school would cost. To get a degree at the school, it takes 7 years (starting at age 11, ending at age 18).
|-
|Bottom
|A reference to the song by {{w|Bare Naked Ladies}} entitled "{{w|If I Had $1000000}}" and all the things referenced in the song to buy the love of another person.
|-
|Bottom
|A few items on the marriage of {{w|Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton|Kate Middleton and Prince William}}, the major royal wedding of 2011, including:
*a {{w|Wedding dress of Kate Middleton|wedding dress with its own Wikipedia page}} of 3 times the annual per capita income of the average UK person,
*an 8-tier [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1381944/Royal-Wedding-cake-Kate-Middleton-requested-8-tiers-decorated-900-flowers.html wedding cake],
*and the flowers for the wedding. These re-appear in the Millions section of the graph, where they also list the costs for the security around the event ($20 million).
|}

===Millions===
{| class="wikitable"
|+Millions
|-
|Left
|Dr. Evil's ransom demands from the film "Austin Powers" corrected for inflation between 1969 and 1997.
|-
|Middle-right
|Another reference to JK Rowling, comparing her (actual $1 billion) net worth as an author with her (imagined $82,000) net worth as a rapper.
The magnified 82 orange/red ($1,000) boxes are footnoted "Professional assessment by rapper/geek culture expert MC Frontalot." {{w|MC Front-A-Lot}} is the creator of the subgenre of {{w|hip-hop}} known as {{w|Nerd Core}}.
|-
|Middle
|An {{w|Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor|F-22 Raptor fighter jet}} (valued at $154.5M) is compared to a Velociraptor ($1.9M in production costs for the film Jurassic Park)
|}

===Billions===
{| class="wikitable"
|+Billions
|-
|Top-Left ((Fictional)Billionaires section)
|{{w|Carlisle Cullen}} is from the {{w|Twilight (series)|Twilight Series}} of books and movies. He is a vampire and adoptive father of {{w|Edward Cullen|Edward}}, {{w|Emmett Cullen|Emmett}} and {{w|Alice Cullen (Twilight)|Alice Cullen}}, as well as {{w|Rosalie Hale|Rosalie}} and {{w|Jasper Hale}}. He was born in the 1640s and amassed his wealth through many years of compound interest and investments.
|{{w|Scrooge McDuck}} is a cartoon character from many {{w|Disney}} properties including the afternoon cartoon, {{w|Duck Tales}}. Scrooge McDuck has a "money bin" full of coins and other sorts of collectibles that he routinely [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMU2NwaaXEA goes swimming in].
|{{w|Bruce Wayne}} is {{w|Batman}}. {{w|Batman}} is {{w|Bruce Wayne}}. He is portrayed in many comic books, graphic novels, TV shows and movies by many different actors.
|{{w|Artemis Fowl II|Artemis Fowl}} is an Irish child prodigy and a ruthless master criminal from the {{w|Artemis Fowl (series)|eponymous book series}}. He uses his intelligence to build his family fortune through crime.
|}

===Trillions===
{| class="wikitable"
|+Trillions
|-
|As Randall already indicated in the transcript, this is the block for world, continent and nation finances. The numbers are really huge. There are no jokes in here (apart from the fact that Randall tried to make the shapes of the GDP look like the continent), likely because financial values this large aren't funny to start with.
|-
|GDP is {{w|Gross domestic product}}, the market value of all goods and services produced in a nation.
*The major chart in the center shows the development of the GDP in the world since the 1940s. So far the US GDP has always grown, except for a small reduction in the early 1980s, a flat line around the 1991 global recession and a flat line in the second half of the naughts. The world-wide GDP is growing more rapidly, but is also much more volatile.
|-
|In the middle of the box, it shows the worth of all gold ever mined in 2011 prices. This is important because of the concept of the {{w|Gold standard}}, a concept where monetary values are linked to the value of gold. As indicated in the top-right of the box, both the EU and the USA have more debt than the total value of all gold in the world.
|-
|{{w|Derivative (finance)|Derivatives}} are a complex financial instrument where one is not trading in something tangible, but in derived values - like options. Derivatives thus are dangerous as one trades in concepts instead of values. Critics claim that derivatives are at the base of the 'economic bubble'.
*The growth of the derivatives market size is incredible - more than doubling every four years. The derivatives market thus is much larger than the GDP of the entire world.
*We get a reference to [http://landartgenerator.org/blagi/archives/127 a proposed project to power the world] by erecting massive solar farms out in the deserts. The area of Texas alone would be enough to match almost all of our modern power costs (though the people who live in Texas wouldn't enjoy being displaced).
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Playpen balls]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:The Lion King]]
[[Category:Twilight]] 
[[Category:Climate change]] 
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

1079: United Shapes

2018-04-30T18:21:41Z

Guest: template:w

{{comic
| number = 1079
| date = July 9, 2012
| title = United Shapes
| image = united_shapes.png
| imagesize = 800px
| titletext = That eggplant is in something of a flaccid state.
}}
The large version is here: [http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ http://xkcd.com/1079/large/]
==Explanation==
In this comic, each state of the United States of America has been filled-in with an object of similar shape. Due to the size range of the states, some states are too small to clearly make-out in the normal size image. Click [http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ here] to see the large version, which makes every state perfectly clear. Several years later Randall made a new map of the US mainland [[1653: United States Map]], where he shuffled the positions of the states but filled out the outline. Also in this map Michigan has been split into two separate parts. (Here it is the glove and the eagle).

Very few, if any, of the shapes used are stereotypes of the state; they are merely objects that look like the state. Some of the objects are those which the states are widely known to resemble. For example, Michigan is represented by a glove and an Eagle, and a pot with handle takes the place of Oklahoma (with the panhandle region of the state filled with a literal handle). Others, however, are more creative. Few would have likely pictured Texas as a dog or Alaska as a bear with a jet pack and laser gun. There are several incredibly simple objects filling some states. Kentucky is filled by a cloud, which conceivably could have been used for any state, and Wyoming, one of the nearly rectangular states, is simply an envelope. There are three pairs of states that are related. Georgia and Missouri each contain an image of the other, drawing attention to their similar shapes, North and South Dakota are the top and bottom halves of an amp, and Alabama and Mississippi are {{w|moai}} facing in opposite directions.)

Colorado contains what looks like a Wikipedia article. A close-up of the fake article is provided [http://xkcd.com/1079/colorado/]. The following references are made in the Colorado article:

*The pronunciation is not that for Colorado, but for {{w|Eyjafjallajökull}}, a volcano in Iceland that erupted in April 2010.
*The way it has a demilitarized zone towards Wyoming resembles {{W|North Korea}} and {{W|South Korea}}.
*Eleven dimensions refers to {{w|string theory}}.
*A {{w|wormhole}} is a theoretical relative of the {{w|black hole}}. This is a reference to the television series {{w|Stargate SG-1}} where a device capable of creating wormholes is located in the {{w|Cheyenne Mountain nuclear bunker}} in Colorado.
*A {{w|Horcrux}} is a type of magical object in the world of {{W|Harry Potter}}, which prevents the creator of it from dying.
*The radiation zones around Longmont are caused by {{w|Radioactive contamination from the Rocky Flats Plant|radioactive contamination from the Rocky Flats Plant}}.
*The fake motto ''Si parare possis, vivere septem'' can be roughly translated as "With preparation, survival is possible for over a week."

New Mexico according to Randall's transcript is "A liquid container labeled for something of unusual and silly danger". The labeling is upside down and it refers to the nuclear testing facility White Sands Missile Range located in New Mexico for the nuclear bomb.
:This end up
:Property of White Sands Missile Range
:??? [Followed by a {{w|NFPA 704}} Diamond with all divisions at severe risk, and a radiation symbol in the special notice division]
:Contains White Sand
:FLAMMABLE
:Warning:
:This product contains chemicals known
:only to the state of Nevada.
:Contents under pressure from parents
:If swallowed, induce labor
:56 fluid ounces
:and 14 other ounces

The title text makes fun of Florida which is sometimes called "The penis of America". Obviously, this penis is somewhat flaccid (not erect). The use of the word "state" is a pun, as it means some particular condition (flaccid state) as well as a political entity (The State of Florida).

==Chart==
{|class=wikitable
!State!!Contained Picture!!Comments
|-
|Alabama ||A moai head facing east.||{{w|Moai}} are Easter Island stone statues
|-
|Alaska ||A teddy bear with a jet pack and a ray gun||The ray gun and {{w|jet pack}} are fixtures of science fiction during the Cold War era, and the Russian Bear is an often-used personification of the country Russia in political cartoonage; the "teddy bear" image may be related to Alaska's former Russian heritage. The USA acquired Alaska from Russia in the Alaska Purchase of 1867 and it became a state in 1959, during the Cold War. The Cold War often featured worries of a potential Russian invasion of Alaska due to their geographical proximity across the Bering Sea and Bering Strait, which persisted through the 1980s; Alaska was the location of a large number of interceptor missiles as part of Ronald Reagan's "Star Wars Defense Initiative" intended to shoot down missiles that might be launched from the USSR. The ray gun is pointed across the Bering Strait at Russia, consistent with Alaska's often being described as the "first line of defense" against Russian aggression. The teddy bear is similar in appearance to {{w|Winnie the Pooh}}.||
|-
|Arizona ||A refrigerated shelf containing milk, bread, and pastries.||
|-
|Arkansas ||A measuring cup.||
|-
|California ||A vacuum.||An old-fashioned upright vacuum cleaner (lying down to the right), green with a yellow bag.
|-
|Colorado ||The Wikipedia article on Colorado.||A fake Wikipedia article on Colorado. Below the text as seen in the provided close up:
:[web address:]
::en.wikipedia.org/wiki/colorado
:[Headers]
::Wikipedia
::Article Talk
::Colorado
:[Main article {note that Randall forgot the closing parentheses ')' after the pronunciation}]
::Colorado (Pronounced [ˈeːijaˌfjatlaˌjœːkʏtl̥] is a US State encompassing portions of the Rocky
::Mountains and the Great Plains. The region has been inhabited since at least 11,000 BCE, and
::some archaeological evidence suggest the state – with roughly its current borders – has literally
::always existed. Colorado is separated from Wyoming by a 28-mile demilitarized zone, and
::has at times exercised substantial regional
::power via the installation of puppet governments
::in neighboring states
::Geographically, Colorado is eleven-dimensional,
::though seven of those dimensions are tightly
::compacted and difficult to detect in most areas
::of the state. Colorado is home to the nation's
::oldest continually-operated wormhole and two
::of President Lincoln's horcruxes.
::The wildlife in Colorado is commonly characterized
::as "erratic", particularly in the radiation zones
::around Longmont. The State's timber wolf
::population is largely bipedal; the Park Service
::has expressed "concern" at their attempts to enroll in
:[Fact box with correct (though black instead of blue) State flag and emblem and fake motto:]
::State of Colorado
::Motto:
::"Si parare possis, vivere septem."
::(With preparation, survival is
::possible for over a week.)
|-
|Connecticut ||A train conductor's hat.||
|-
|Delaware ||A meerkat.||
|-
|Florida ||An eggplant.||The title text mentions the eggplant being in a flaccid state, which might be a reference to the sexual use of the eggplant emoji.
|-
|Georgia ||Missouri.||The outline of the state of Missouri, with the {{w|Gateway Arch}} in St. Louis.
|-
|Hawaii ||The island of Hawaii is a snowball. The smaller islands are small bits of snow.||
|-
|Idaho ||A garden gnome, sitting down.||
|-
|Illinois ||A gangster with a guitar case, upside down.||
|-
|Indiana ||The brush of a paintbrush.||
|-
|Iowa ||A tomato, lettuce, cold cut and cheese sandwich.||
|-
|Kansas ||A stand-up piano.||
|-
|Kentucky ||A cloud.||
|-
|Louisiana ||A boot with some gum stuck to the bottom of it.||
|-
|Maine ||A Vulcan salute.||Maine's camp sunshine has had Star Trek related events in the past, including the opportunity to appear in a film.
|-
|Maryland ||A wolf howling to the moon, upside down.||
|-
|Massachusetts ||An elephant, being ridden by a man, carrying tea.||Might be a reference to the Boston Tea Party, which occurred in Massachusetts, and the Republican political party. The man seems to be wearing a tricorn hat.
|-
|Michigan ||A mitten for the lower portion, an eagle for the {{w|Upper Peninsula of Michigan}}.||
|-
|Minnesota ||$160 in $20 USD bills. It is tied together.||
|-
|Mississippi ||A moai head facing west.||
|-
|Missouri ||Georgia.||The outline of the state of Georgia, with a pair of {{w|Georgia Peach|Georgia peaches}}.
|-
|Montana ||One half of a muffin, sideways.||
|-
|Nebraska ||A blue VW type 2 with mattresses sticking out the back.||
|-
|Nevada ||A clothes iron.||
|-
|New Hampshire ||A tall brick factory building.||
|-
|New Jersey ||A bent-over old person. He is carrying a cane.||
|-
|New Mexico ||A liquid container labeled for something of unusual and silly danger.||A yellow liquid container with upside-down labeling.
::This end up!!
::Property of White Sands Missile Range
::Contains White Sand
:[Written inside a hazardous-materials diamond with the ? very large, and the three '4' in the three top part of a diamond shape divided in four these three sections being blue, red, yellow. The lower part has a radioactive sign on the same grey background as the large rectangle.]
::??? 4 4 4
::Flammable
::Warning
::This product contains chemicals known
::Only to the State of Nevada.
::Contents under pressure from parents
::If swallowed, induce labor
::56 fluid ounces
::and 14 other ounces
|-
|New York ||A hybrid transmission with standard manual-style gears and a torque converter sliced in half.||
|-
|North Carolina ||A bouquet of flowers. They appear similar to {w|Galium Palustre|marsh bedstraws}.||
|-
|North Dakota ||The top half of an amp.||
|-
|Ohio ||Underwear (Briefs).||
|-
|Oklahoma ||A covered pot, dripping with boil-over.||
|-
|Oregon ||A locomotive.||
|-
|Pennsylvania ||A very thick book with a bookmark.||
|-
|Rhode Island ||The bow half of a boat's hull.||
|-
|South Carolina ||A slice of pizza.||
|-
|South Dakota ||The bottom half of an amp.||
|-
|Tennessee ||A number of children's books, placed in a slightly askew pile.|| Possibly a reference to Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. The books are {{w|Where's Waldo?}}, {{w|The Wreck of the Zephyr}}, {{w|The Way Things Work}}, Free Fall, {{w|Paddle-to-the-Sea}}, What It Feels Like to Be a Building, and {{w|The Crab with the Golden Claws}}.
|-
|Texas ||A dog sitting in a bowl.||
|-
|Utah ||An oven.||
|-
|Vermont ||A microscope, upside down.||
|-
|Virginia ||A {{w|stegosaurus}}.||
|-
|Washington ||A whale.|| The Puget Sound is well known for whale watching
|-
|Washington DC ||A star.||On most maps, capitals are shown as stars. Washington DC is the capital of the United States.
|-
|West Virginia ||A {{w|frog}}.||
|-
|Wisconsin ||A skull.||
|-
|Wyoming ||An envelope.||The back side of a white envelope, sealed with red wax, with a black heart next to a signature (lower left corner).
|}

==Transcript==
:The '''United Shapes'''
:A map of things states are shaped like
:[Each state has some item wedged to stay inside its borders]

{|class=wikitable
!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text!!State!!Official Transcript!!Text
|-
|WA||whale||
|MT||half muffin||
|ND and SD||top and bottom halves of an amp||
|MN||$160 in $20 USD bills||
|WI||skull||
|MI||mitten for the lower portion, eagle for the {{w|Upper Peninsula of Michigan}}||
|NY||hybrid transmission with standard manual-style gears and a torque converter sliced in half||
|VT||microscope, upside down||
|NH||tall brick factory building||
|ME||Vulcan salute||
|MA||elephant, being ridden by a man, carrying tea||
|CT||train conductor's hat||
|RI||bow half of a boat's hull||
|-
|OR||locomotive||
|ID||garden gnome, sitting down||
|WY||envelope.||The envelope is marked with a signature, possibly Randal's
|NE||blue VW type 2 with mattresses sticking out the back||
|IA||tomato, lettuce, cold cut and cheese sandwich||
|IL||gangster with a guitar case, upside down||
|IN||brush of a paintbrush||
|OH||underwear (Briefs)||
|PA||very thick book with a bookmark||
|NJ||bent-over old person||
|-
|NV||clothes iron||
|UT||oven||
|CO||Wikipedia article on Colorado||See Link Above
|KS||stand-up piano||
|MO||Georgia||Georgia
|KY||cloud||
|WV||{{w|frog}}||
|VA||{{w|stegosaurus}}||
|DC||star.||
|MD||wolf howling to the moon, upside down||
|DE||meerkat||
|-
|CA||vacuum cleaner||
|AZ||refrigerated shelf containing milk, bread, and pastries||
|NM||liquid container with warning label||
:This end up!!
:
:Property of White Sands Missile Range
:Contains White Sand
:
:???
:
:FLAMMABLE
:
:Warning: This product contains chemicals known
:Only to the state of Nevada.
:Contents under pressure from parents.
:If swallowed, induce labor.
:
:56 Fluid Ounces
:and 14 other ounces.
|OK||covered pot, dripping with boil-over||
|AR||measuring cup||
|TN||children's books, placed in a slightly askew pile||
:Handford / WHERE'S WALDO / or wally
:The Wreck of the Zephyr / Chris Van Allsburg
:The Way Things Work / DAVID MACAULRY
:Weisner / FREE FALL
:PADDLE-TO-THE-SEA / HCH(?)
:WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A BUILDING / Wilson
:TINTIN / The Crab with the Golden Claws / Hergé
|NC||flower bouquet||
|-
|AK||teddy bear with a jet pack and a ray gun||
|HI||snowball||
|TX||dog sitting in a bowl||
|LA||boot with some gum stuck to the bottom||
|MS||moai head facing west||
|AL||moai head facing east||
|GA||Missouri.||Missouri
|SC||pizza slice||
|FL||eggplant||
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]

1572: xkcd Survey

2018-04-30T18:18:43Z

Guest: /* The Survey */ Template:w Template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 1572
| date = September 2, 2015
| title = xkcd Survey
| image = xkcd_survey.png
| titletext = The xkcd Survey: Big Data for a Big Planet
}}
*The entire comic is a link to [http://goo.gl/forms/B5RaBeZ6nw The xkcd survey] on Google.
**The survey has long since been closed.

==Explanation==
As the comic image states, it links to a survey created with [https://www.google.com/forms/about/ Google Forms], containing a series of questions. The questions range from mundane typical survey questions such as “Do you have any food allergies?”, to rather strange, such as “Fill this text box with random letters by randomly mashing keys on your leopard.” (See [[1530: Keyboard Mash]]).

The stated goal of the survey is to “create an interesting and unusual data set for people to play with”. A strange data set is a ripe opportunity for a sampling of readers. It's also supposed to be “a search for weird correlations” – presumably the goal is to be able to say things like “people who have been skydiving are (more/less) likely than average to dislike cilantro”. (See also [[882: Significant]] about finding presumably-spurious correlations between unrelated data.)

This explanation will undoubtedly expand when the data comes in.

{{w|Image_map#Client-side_image_map|HTML image maps}} is a technique for marking up areas of an image on a web page, such that each area can be a link without the whole image being a link. [[Randall]] could have used this type of image map to make only the “Click here to take the survey” button be a link, and none of the rest of the image. But he cannot get the hang of it (or knowing his skills, does not wish to take the time to learn it). Not getting the hang of HTML image maps was also referenced on [http://imgs.xkcd.com/store/tour-news.png the banner for his book tour] from [http://web.archive.org/web/20140901023821/http://xkcd.com/ September 2014]

The title text is a joke off of {{w|Big Data}}, which is a name for analysis of a set of data that includes a huge amount of information. He also says "for a big planet" because the Earth is big.{{Citation needed}}

The survey is closed, and the questions replaced with the text: "The xkcd survey is now closed. Thank you for all your answers! Response data is being collected and will be posted soon." As of April 2018, the same caption is still there, with no indication of exactly how soon the data is intended to be posted. (Apparently, Randall crashed google forms, so the data is taking a long time to be retrieved [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/40mhve/what_ever_happened_to_the_survey_we_took/ (see this reddit thread)] - much like his breaking of [http://what-if.xkcd.com/imgs/a/62/balloon_wolfram.png Wolfram Alpha]] during answering a reader's question on [[what if?]])

==The Survey==
The Survey started off with the following statement:

<nowiki>This is an anonymous survey. After it's done, a database of everyone's responses will be posted.
There's no specific reason for any of the questions. The goal is to create an interesting and unusual data set for people to play with. This is obviously not going to be a real random sample of people, but in the interest of getting cooler data, if you're sharing this with friends, try sending it to some people who wouldn't normally see this kind of thing!

WARNING: This survey is anonymous, but your answers WILL BE MADE PUBLIC. Depending what you write, it's possible that someone may be able to identify you by looking at your responses. None of these questions should ask about anything too private, but don't write anything that you don't want people to see. If you're not comfortable answering a question, just skip it.</nowiki>

'''Note:''' The order of the possible answers (the list of possibilities) was random, and changed every time the page is reloaded. So do not try to fix the order here below...

===Plane===
*Have you ever been in a plane?
**No
**Yes

===Skydiving===
*Have you ever been {{w|Parachuting|skydiving}}?
**No, but I might someday
**Yes
**No

===The Dress===
*When you first saw {{w|The dress (viral phenomenon)|The Dress}}, what color was it? — (Also see [[1492: Dress Color]] and the [[Blag]] ENTRY [http://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ Color Survey Results]).
**White and gold
**A color combination not listed here
**I don't remember
**Blue and black
**What dress?

===Popular food===
*What's a really popular food that you don't like?
**''Text box''

===Floaters===
*When you look at a blue sky, do you see those swirly {{w|floater|floaters}} in your vision?
**Yes, constantly
**I'm not sure what things you mean
**Yes, occasionally
**No

===Running out of gas===
*Have you ever had a car run out of gas while you were driving it?
**Yes
**No

===Animals===
*Name the first five animals you can think of
**''Multi line text box''

===Weather===
*What's the weather like where you are right now?
**''Text box''

===Activities===
*Which of these can you do reasonably well?
*(Check all that apply)
**{{w|slam dunk|Dunk}} a basketball — A "slam dunk" or simply "dunk" is the act of jumping up and putting the ball through the net with a lot of force
**Tie a {{w|sheet bend}} or {{w|bowline}} — A sheet bend is a knot that joins two ropes together; A bowline is a knot used to form a fixed loop at the end of a rope. Although tied differently, the resulting knots are identical.{{Citation needed}}
**Roller skate
**[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/high-heel-race/ Run in high heels]
**Drive a stick shift — See {{w|Manual transmission}} of a car
**Solve a {{w|Rubik's cube}}
**Dive headfirst off a diving board — See {{w|Springboard}} and {{w|Diving platform}}
**Ice skate
**{{w|Skateboarding|Skateboard}}
**Walk on {{w|stilts}} — Stilts are poles, posts or pillars used to allow a person to walk at a height above the ground
**Ski
**Cut vegetables with a knife
**Swim
**Ride a horse
**{{w|Unicycle}}
**Change the oil on a car
**Do a back {{w|Handspring (gymnastics)|handspring}} — A handspring is an exercise in gymnastics in which you jump through the air landing on your hands, then again landing on your feet
**Juggle — {{w|Toss juggling}} (the most recognizable form of juggling) consists in throwing objects into the air and catching them.

===Spelling===
*What word can you never seem to spell on the first try?
**''Text box''

===Condiments===
*Do you eat {{w|condiments}} directly out of the fridge as a snack?
**No
**Yes

===Thermostat===
*When you adjust a thermostat that was set by someone else, it's usually because you want the room to be...
**Cooler
**Warmer

===Clothing===
*What color is the shirt/dress/upper-body-clothing you're wearing right now, if any?
**''Text box''

===Colds===
*Do you get {{w|Common cold|colds}} often?
**No
**Yes

===Number===
*Pick a number from 1 to 100
**''Text box''

===Spelling===
*On a scale of 1 to 10, how good at spelling are you? (Note that the question does not specify which end of the scale is good or bad.)
**''Tick off list with numbers from 1 to 10.''

===Myers-Briggs===
*Do you know your {{w|Myers–Briggs_Type_Indicator|Myers-Briggs type}}?
**No
**Yes

===Astrology===
*Do you know your {{w|astrological sign}}?
**No
**Yes

===Siblings===
*How many older siblings do you have?
**''Text box''
*How many younger siblings do you have?
**''Text box''
*How many twin/etc siblings do you have?
**''Text box''

===Sleepiness===
*Do you feel sleepy a lot?
**Yes
**No

===Movie star===
*Name a movie star
**''Text box''

===Time in sun===
*Do you spend a lot of time in the sun?
**Yes
**No

===Broccoli===
*Does {{w|broccoli}} taste bitter to you?
**Yes
**No
**I've never had it

===Wakefulness===
*Do you regularly stay awake much later than you meant to?
**Yes
**No

===Keyboard mashing===
*Fill this text box with gibberish by mashing random keyboard keys (See [[1530: Keyboard Mash]]).
**''Broad multi-line text box''

===Driving===
*On a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is terrible and 3 is average, how good a driver do you think you are?
**''Tick off list with numbers from 1 to 5.''

===Allergies===
*Do you have any food allergies?
**No
**Yes

===Thunder===
*Have you heard thunder or seen lightning in the past year? — (The title-text of [[831: Weather Radar]] mentions the belief that thunderstorms seemed more common when one was a kid. Since the survey also asks for age this question is likely a test of that belief.)
**Yes
**No

===Flavor preference===
*Which do you prefer? (It seems to be missing the ''neither'' option...)
**Chocolate
**Vanilla

===Number (reprise)===
*Pick another number from 1 to 100 (Supposedly should not be the same as in the first pick a number box).
**''Text box''

===Internet===
*When you think about stuff on the internet, where do you picture it being physically located? Even if you know it's not really how things work, is there a place you imagine websites and social media posts sitting before you look at them? If so, where is it?
**''Broad multi-line text box''

===Roll tongue===
*Can you {{w|Tongue rolling|roll your tongue}}?
**Yes
**No
**What?

===Toes===
*Can you pick things up with your toes?
**No
**Yes

===Age===
*How old are you?
**''Text box''

===Walls===
*What color are the walls around you right now?
**''Text box''

===Cell phone===
*What kind of cell phone do you have?
**{{w|iPhone}}
**{{w|Android (operating system)|Android}}
**Other smartphone
**Non-smartphone
**I don't have a cell phone

===Eating===
*What's the last thing you ate?
**''Text box''

===Difficult words===
*Which of these words do you know the meaning of?
*Some of these words don’t appear in any of the following dictionaries: the Oxford English Dictionary, the New Oxford American Dictionary, Wiktionary, or Dictionary.com. With one exception, however, reviewers on this site have found verifiable examples of use for the words in question.
*[http://dictionary.reference.com/ Dictionary.com] has an index of difficulty (measured in pixels, with class name <code>difficulty-indicator</code>). We add it at the right of the words that have it. N/A means that a word isn't present in Dictionary.com, or that it doesn't have an index.
**Slickle – Not in any standard dictionary. However, it [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Slickle is in] the crowd-sourced in Urban Dictionary, as well as a suggested planet name in [[1253: Exoplanet Names]]
**{{Wiktionary|rife|Rife}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rife 117]
**{{Wiktionary|soliloquy|Soliloquy}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/soliloquy 150]
**Fination – not in any dictionary. Appears infrequently in Victorian texts (e.g., [http://books.google.com/books?id=ghNOAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA245&dq=Fination 1889], [http://books.google.com/books?id=nwlCAQAAMAAJ&pg=PA214&dq=Fination 1839])
**{{Wiktionary|stipple|Stipple}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stipple 144]
**{{Wiktionary|peristeronic|Peristeronic}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/peristeronic N/A]. Randall used it and defined it for readers in [[798: Adjectives]].
**{{Wiktionary|modicum|Modicum}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/modicum 120]
**Trephony – Not available in reference dictionaries. An obsolete spelling of "{{w|Trephine}}" (especially when used as a verb for the process of {{w|Trepanning|trephination}}). Initially a transliteration of Greek [http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus:text:1999.04.0057:entry=tru/panon τρυπάω] for the same.
**Tribution – A regular construction from {{Wiktionary|tribute#Verb|Tribute (verb)}} using "{{Wiktionary|-tion}}" to transform into a noun. Using this regular formation, the term would mean the act of tribute, but no examples of actual use are available. It is worth noting that the use of "tribute" as a verb is generally considered obsolete and the few forms that persist in use relate primarily to the tributary and distributary river systems
**{{Wiktionary|phoropter|Phoropter}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/phoropter N/A] 1.An instrument used in eye examinations to determine an individual's prescription, the patient looking through various lenses at a chart on the other side.
**Unitory – Not available in reference dictionaries. An obsolete spelling of "Unitary," chiefly British. While long obsolete in normal usage, it persisted longer in mathematics that it did elsewhere (particularly for "Unitory Method" and "Unitory Matrices"). Example of use: [https://books.google.com/books?id=Wl1BAQAAMAAJ&pg=RA5-PA27&lpg=RA5-PA27&dq=unitory+method&source=bl&ots=rfRKJXAJqV&sig=Wsr_gV7xG6Airah9Lx1M0hi-7Zc&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CDsQ6AEwBmoVChMInd_R9qTbxwIVChU-Ch36IAh_#v=onepage&q=unitory%20method&f=false (1)]
**{{Wiktionary|amiable|Amiable}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/amiable 123]
**{{Wiktionary|salient|Salient}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/salient 69]
**{{Wiktionary|regolith|Regolith}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/regolith 162]
**{{Wiktionary|lithe|Lithe}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lithe 105]
**Revergent – technical word from {{w|fern}} biology, referring to the edges of fern leaves which curl back on themselves (see [http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF00985044 Schölch, 2000])
**{{Wiktionary|hubris|Hubris}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hubris 117]
**{{Wiktionary|fleek|Fleek}} – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fleek N/A]
**Cadine – A rare loan-word for {{Wiktionary|fr:cadine|a sultan's wife or a noble ottoman woman}} which comes to English through the French. Examples of Use: [https://books.google.com/books?id=4yz-Y-_OOO0C&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q=cadine&f=false (1)]. Also the name of an {{w|it:Cadine|italian city}}.
**{{Wiktionary|apricity|Apricity}} – Not available in reference dictionaries. An obsolete word for the sun's heat in winter (e.g., [http://books.google.com/books?id=CFBGAAAAYAAJ&pg=PT76&dq=apricity Bailey 1775]). According to the What If? book (page 80), this is Randall's single favourite word in the English language.

===cat===
*Please type "cat" here:
**''Text box''

===Dreams===
*Do you usually remember your dreams?
**No
**Yes

===Text editors===
*Do you have strong opinions about text editors? (See {{w|Editor war}})
**Yes
**No

===Emoji===
*How do you feel about {{w|emoji}}?
**Negative 😠 (Unicode 1f620 - Angry face)
**Positive 😊 (Unicode 263a - Smiling face)
**Neutral 😐 (Unicode 1F610 - Neutral face)

===Snow===
*Does it ever snow where you live?
**No
**Yes

===Taste of food===
*Do you strongly dislike the taste or texture of any of these things?
**Eggs
**Chocolate ice cream
**Beer
**White wine
**{{w|Carbonation}} (or Fizz)
**Red wine
**{{w|Cilantro}}
**Coffee
**Tomatoes
**Yogurt

===Beverages===
*Which of these do you regularly drink?
**Caffeinated soda (e.g. Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper)
**Noncaffeinated soda
**Coffee
**Fruit juice
**Milk
**Beer
**Wine
**Tea
**{{w|Maple syrup}}
**Water

===Random words===
*Type five random words
**''Broad multi-line text box''

===Flying===
*Are you nervous about flying?
**Yes
**No
**A little

===Favorite number===
*On a scale of 1 to 5, which number is your favorite?
**''Tick off list with numbers from 1 to 5.''

===Sandwich===
*Which of these would you consider a {{w|sandwich}}?
*(Check all that apply)
**{{w|Taco}}
**{{w|Quesadilla}}
**{{w|Submarine sandwich|Sub/Hoagie}}
**{{w|Cheesesteak}}
**{{w|Hamburger}}
**{{w|Open-faced sandwich}}
**{{w|Calzone}}

===Animal affinity===
*Which of these describes you?
*(Check all that apply)
**Dog person
**Cat person
**Half-cat half-person
**Part of a subterranean race of dog people
**Literally named "Catherine Person"

===Sense of direction===
*Would you say you have a good sense of direction?
**Yes
**No

===Socks or underwear===
*Have you ever thrown out all your different pairs of socks/underwear, bought a bunch of replacements that were all one kind, and then told all your friends how great it was and how they should do it too?
**Yes
**No
**I did the throwing out thing, but didn't talk to everyone about it
**No, but I'm totally doing that now

==Transcript==
:[A simple comic with text only. The ''click here'' part is inside a black frame.]
:Introducing
:'''The xkcd Survey'''
:A search for weird correlations
:Note: This survey is anonymous, but
: all responses will be posted publicly 
:so people can play with the data.
:'''Click here to'''
:'''take the survey'''
:Or click here, or here.
:The whole comic is a link,
:because I still haven't gotten
:the hang of HTML imagemaps.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]

1378: Turbine

2018-04-30T18:11:34Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 1378
| date = June 6, 2014
| title = Turbine
| image = turbine.png
| titletext = Ok, plan B: Fly a kite into the blades, with a rock in a sling dangling below it, and create the world's largest trebuchet.
}}

==Explanation==
''A {{w|wind turbine}} uses wind to rotate its blades in order to generate electricity''. It is visually very similar to an (electric) {{w|Mechanical fan|fan}} which however does the exact opposite: it ''uses electricity to rotate its blades in order to generate wind''. This opposition was previously highlighted in [[1119: Undoing]].

The punchline of this comic is a {{w|pun}} on the other meaning of the word "{{Wiktionary|fan}}" which qualifies someone as liking or supporting something (here, an idea). [[Megan]] suggests to have the turbine blow air at her so she could lift off with a kite, something which would be conceivable with a huge fan, but is impossible here precisely because the turbine is not a fan and therefore can't generate wind. So the ({{w|Anthropomorphism|anthropomorphically}}-speaking) turbine's response is twofold: 1) it's a turbine and not a huge fan, which makes the idea impossible, and 2) for this very reason it doesn't like the idea - i.e. it is not a fan of the idea.

The title text alternatively suggests building a makeshift {{w|trebuchet}}. The idea is that when the kite's string gets tangled in the turbine's blades, the kite will be spun around and it will fling the attached rock (this setup is more similar to a {{w|Trebuchet#Traction trebuchet|traction trebuchet}} than to the more common counterweight trebuchet).

==Transcript==
:[Megan is talking to a wind turbine.]
:Megan: I'll hold up a big kite, and you blow air at me until I lift off!
:Megan: What do you think of that idea?
:Wind turbine: I'm not a huge fan.

==Trivia==
*In [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]] the wind turbines are also alive, but somewhat more dangerous than just being ironic.
*In [[1119: Undoing]], Cueball highlights the differences between a wind turbine and a fan.
*Trebuchets has been the subject of the comics [[382: Trebuchet]] and [[1160: Drop Those Pounds]], and they were also part of the story in [[1190: Time]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Trebuchet]]
[[Category:Wind turbine]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Kites]]

1256: Questions

2018-04-30T18:08:59Z

Guest: /* Section One */ template:w

{{comic
| number = 1256
| date = August 26, 2013
| title = Questions
| image = questions.png
| titletext = To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
}}
A larger version of the picture can be found in http://xkcd.com/1256/large/.
==Explanation==
{{w|Google}}, a rather popular internet search engine, has a feature known as [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/106230?hl=en autocomplete] that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

The largest pictured questions are: "Why are there slaves in the bible" and "Why are there ants in my laptop".

All of the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the moon". All these questions and many more (33,171 in total) can be found in http://xkcd.com/why.txt.

Regarding the title text: in the Peter Jackson films of {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)|''The Lord of the Rings'' trilogy}}, Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." This subplot is entirely absent from the {{w|The Lord of the Rings|original novels}}.

From [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq#.2.1.21 IMDB]: <blockquote>
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter. </blockquote>

==Selected answers==
The tables below have been created so as to split the comic into almost entirely arbitrary blocks, which have then been identified with similarly arbitrary numbers. As a general rule, section numbers work top to bottom, then right to left.
===Illustrated Panels===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
|Why aren't my arms growing?||Arms stop growing because longer arms would not be a very useful way to spend resources. Human DNA has programmed the body to gradually ossify (turn to bone) the growing arms and legs, closing the {{w|epiphyseal plate}} (the flat plate at the end of each long bone), at which point they stop growing. Alternately, the muscles of the arm, which may have been the intended subject of the question, may fail to grow if not exercised with appropriate resistance, repetition or frequency; if nutrition is insufficient; if insufficient recovery time is given; or if sufficient levels of certain hormones like growth hormone or testosterone are not present.
|-
|Why are there ghosts?||There is no hard evidence of ghosts.
|-
|Why are there squirrels?||Squirrels are the product of a long sequence of evolution, like any other animal. They persist because they effectively reproduce and compete for resources within their niche, but they are also the product of many circumstantial events that has led to them being the way they are.
|-
|Why is sex so important?||Sex is important biologically because it is the primary method of reproduction in many different species, and culturally because it both plays an important role in human relationship and causes hard-to-control urges that affect behaviour. However, it can be of varying importance to different people (see [http://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=overview.html asexuality]).
|-
| Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter? || In the {{w|Harry Potter}} universe {{w|guns}} do exist and are mentioned at the beginning of {{w|Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban}} when the news gives a warning that Sirius Black has one. Muggle technology (human inventions) are often looked down on by wizards - the majority of half-blooded wizards won't touch one, let alone a wizard extremist like {{w|Voldemort}}. Not only does any Muggle device more complex than a wristwatch interfere with magical artifacts, but wands are usually more versatile than most guns; a revolver can't shoot lightning, summon items or teleport its user. Finally, while Harry himself may or may not consider using firearms due to his Muggle upbringing, ''Harry Potter'' is set in the United Kingdom (which has stricter gun laws than, say, the United States).
|-
|-
|}

===Section One===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why do whales jump? || Partly to get air, partly because it's an effective way to catch prey near the surface, and partly because they just seem to find it fun - it's like going into outer space!
|-
|Why are witches green? || See {{w|Wizard of Oz}}.
|-
|Why are there mirrors above beds?|| Often, these are used by couples to view themselves during coitus.
|-
|Why do I say Uh?||See ''[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/06/the_odd_body_language_fillers/ Why do we say 'um', 'er', or 'ah' when we hesitate in speaking?]''.
|-
| Why is sea salt better? || The question likely refers to the difference between common {{w|Fortified table salt}} and usually more expensive sea salt. While the major part of both of these is sodium chloride (NaCl) the idea behind the claim is the different composition mostly in regards to trace elements of sea salt compared to "normal" salt. Table salt's composition is often influenced by a country's health department and thus addition of trace elements is regulated. While these regulations are based on scientific studies there remain to be debates concerning the additions, such as iodine.
|-
| Why are there trees in the middle of fields? || Many images of fields contain singular trees in the middle of them. While there exist such trees it is likely an artistic choice to give a more pleasing or aesthetically satisfying image compared to just a field. In modern agriculture those would in fact be quite troublesome since they are a hindrance to large machines used and a new tree would be unlikely to grow in a constantly worked field, although they can be useful in fields for grazing animals, since they provide shade. Before mechanized agriculture, such trees would also be planted to give the workers a place rest in the shade without having to go all the way back from a large field.
|-
| Why is there not a Pokémon MMO? || {{w|Pokémon}} is a popular franchise, spanning game consoles, anime series, a trading card game, and many other things. Among fans, it is a frequent topic of discussion why a Pokémon {{w|massively multiplayer online game}} has not been officially announced by the series' developers {{w|Game Freak}}, as they often [http://www.dorkly.com/comic/52546/be-careful-what-you-wish-for predict] that such a game would be extremely popular, and bring in massive revenue for the company. However, if Game Freak were to develop a Pokémon MMO the MMOs would be strong competition against the console games and therefore reducing the Pokémon demographic significantly. The mobile app {{w|Pokémon Go}} has since partly filled the MMO niche, with multiplayer interactivity through item drops and fighting at gyms.
|-
|Why is there laughing in TV shows? || Sitcoms were once filmed with an audience, so the actors could respond to their reactions. That's the historical reason why there were laughs in TV shows. The tradition continues, with the difference that now the laughter mostly comes from recorded tapes. See {{w|Laugh track}}.
|-
|Why are there doors on the freeway?|| Highway/freeway {{w|noise barrier|noise barriers}} sometimes have doors in them to allow workers access to both sides of the barrier.
|-
|Why are there so many svchost.exe running?||See {{w|svchost.exe}}.
|-
| Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica? || {{w|Antarctica}} is the southern most continent and is by large covered in ice and in general pretty cold. While it is a regular target of tourists and researchers it also lacks native human inhabitants. At the moment, the territorial claims concerning Antarctica are mostly handled via the {{w|Antarctic Treaty System}}. In short there are a few countries who claim certain parts of the continent as their own in theory but so far it is considered neutral territory and most maps don't concern themselves with displaying the (in some regards disputed) territorial claims because they do not matter at this point in time. If there are ever any worthwhile resources discovered, this might change.
|-
|Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?|| To add atmosphere and to give players hints when there is a dark cave nearby. See [http://minecraft.gamepedia.com/Ambience Minecraft Wiki].
|-
|Why is there kicking in my stomach?||See ''[http://www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-movement-feeling-baby-kick Feeling Your Baby Kick]''. Here, ''stomach'' means ''abdomen''.
|-
|Why are there two slashes after http?||See ''[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1220286/Sir-Tim-Berners-Lee-admits-forward-slashes-web-address-mistake.html Sir Tim Berners-Lee admits the forward slashes in every web address 'were a mistake']''.
|-
|Why are there celebrities?||There are certain people who are more respected and well-known than other people, whether it be because of their acting career, major advancements to science, or a sex tape.
|-
|Why do snakes exist?|| The question is rather general and likely based on a widespread dislike for the reptilians. Be it due to their appearance, their spread, or the danger a few snakes pose to humans (often due to being venomous) many people have a dislike for snakes and would prefer them to not exist (similar to spiders).
In regards to "why do snakes exist on earth?": Because evolution. Snakes fill a gap in the ecosystem as predators and hunt different species, including vermin. Snakes are in that regard similar to many other predatory animals. The question on why snakes developed with their distinct streamlined shape is still debated but {{w|snakes|likely it either provided an advantage when burrowing or swimming}}.
|-
|Why do oysters have pearls?||{{w|pearl|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>Pearls are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside the shell, or an attack from outside, injuring the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation. Pearls are commonly viewed by scientists as a by-product of an adaptive immune system-like function.</blockquote>
|-
|Why are ducks called ducks?||See {{w|Duck#Etymology}}. {{Wiktionary|duck|According to Wiktionary}}, the noun ''duck'' can be traced back to the {{w|Proto-Germanic language|Proto-Germanic}} word {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Germanic/dūkaną|''dūkaną''}} ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the {{w|Proto-Indo-European language|Proto-Indo-European}} {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/dʰewb-|''dʰewb-''}} ("deep, hollow"), which is the origin of the verb ''to duck''. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.
|-
|Why do they call it the clap?||An old folk remedy for {{w|gonorrhea}} was to clap on the sides of the penis.
|-
|Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?|| The question relates to the TV show {{w|South Park}}. Both are children living in the small titular town in Colorado. Cartman is widely accepted to a be very bad person, one of his many character flaws being his antisemitism. Kyle on the other hand is a Jew. However, both, along with two other kids, Stan and Kenny, are the core focus of the show (or used to be) and to some extent are considered to be friends. While there are episodes which show Cartman being not entirely a horrible person and him holding Kyle in a position of at least a worthy adversary, most of the time the question should be "Why is anyone friends with Cartman?" However, they most likely remain "friends" because they are in the same class at school and are therefore "forced" to be around one another.
|-
|Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?||{{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender#Characters|Aang}} is the main character of the TV series {{w|Avatar the last Airbender|Avatar - The last Airbender}} and features as part of a large body spanning tattoo an arrow on his head. These tattoos are made to replicate the markings of one of the shows fictional animals, the air bison which are regarded as the original air benders. They are given to human air benders once they attain the status of masters. Because Aang acquired this status very early in life he was already tattooed accordingly.
|-
|Why are text messages blue?||This likely refers to imessage chat being blue. These messages are blue when sending a message to another apple device. When sent as an SMS message, they will be green.
|-
|Why are there mustaches on clothes?||Because some people buy them. Mustaches, especially handlebar-style mustaches, were a popular fad at the time of this comic.
|-
|Why are there mustaches on cars?||Fuzzy pink mustaches are used to designate cars in the {{w|Lyft}} service.
|-
|Why are there mustaches everywhere?||See {{w|Movember}}
|-
|Why are there so many birds in Ohio?||There are an estimated [http://oh.audubon.org/bsc/SOTB.html 400 bird species] in {{w|List of birds of Ohio|Ohio}}, but there are [http://www.jstor.org/discover/2419997sid=21104910103541&uid=4&uid=3739776&uid=2&uid=3739256 2.74 nesting pairs per acre].
|-
|Why is there so much rain in Ohio?|| {{w|lake_effect|Lake-effect}} rain develops in the same manner as lake-effect snow.
|-
|Why is Ohio weather so weird?||See {{w|Lake-effect snow}}.
|-
|}

===Section Two===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there male and female bikes? || {{w|bicycle|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>Historically, women's bicycle frames had a top tube that connected in the middle of the seat tube instead of the top, resulting in a lower {{w|Frame geometry|standover height}} at the expense of compromised structural integrity, since this places a strong bending load in the seat tube, and bicycle frame members are typically weak in bending. This design, referred to as a '''''{{w|step-through frame}}''''' or as an ''open frame'', allows the rider to mount and dismount in a dignified way while wearing a skirt or dress.</blockquote>
|-
|Why are there bridesmaids?||See {{w|Bridesmaid#Origin and history}}.
|-
|Why do dying people reach up?|| In many works of fiction dying people are regarded with an outstretched arm, grasping for unseen objects towards the sky. In all likelihood this originates in the idea of heaven as the place where (good) people go after death. People "reach for the light" which is seen when dying according to similar beliefs or possibly for already dead relatives or other associated people waiting for them. An alternative hypothesis is that they want to hug/touch their loved ones one last time.
|-
|Why aren't there varicose arteries?||Blood moves through veins due to irregular pressure from skeletal muscles combined with valves to control direction. In varicose veins these valves malfunction affecting blood flow. In arteries blood flow is produced directly from pressure caused by the heart.
|-
|Why are old Klingons different?|| {{w|Klingon Redesign|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>For {{w|Star Trek: The Motion Picture}} (1979), the Klingons were retconned and their appearance and behavior radically changed. To give the aliens a more sophisticated and threatening demeanor, the Klingons were depicted with ridged foreheads, snaggled and prominent teeth, and a defined language and alphabet. Lee Cole, a production designer, used red gels and primitive shapes in the design of Klingon consoles and ship interiors, which took on a dark and moody atmosphere. The alphabet was designed as angular, with sharp edges harkening to the Klingon's militaristic focus.[5] Costume designer Robert Fletcher created new uniforms for the Klingons, reminiscent of feudal Japanese armor.</blockquote>

Additionally, there is an in-universe explanation: A [http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Klingon_augment_virus Klingon augment virus] was deployed to make enhanced warriors, but accidentally made weaker Klingons with human-like features. These afflicted Klingons were the ones seen in the original series.

|-
|Why is programming so hard?||Programming is the art of writing instructions for a computer to do. Since the computer has a limited set of instructions for you to use it involves a new way of thinking for many. It is also hard because the computer itself is not smart or adaptable to unexpected problems. For instance when a human is told to sort books in a shelf, he or she can do that despite there might be things in the way (he or she will just move it to the side). A computer will generally just crash if it doesn't have instructions on how to deal with the unexcepted problem.
|-
|Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?|| A resistor is usually designed to create a certain resistance, measured in {{w|Ohm}} in an electronic device. A 0 Ohm resistor seems pointless as it would only provide the same resistance as a normal cable. However, Wikipedia's {{w|Zero-ohm link}} article gives sufficient explanation.
|-
|Why do Americans hate soccer? || Soccer, or football in British English, is rather unpopular in the USA compared to most other regions of the world. Finding a particular reason behind the (dis)like for certain sports, apart from cultural spread, is difficult. One possible explanation is soccer's tendency to have far fewer points scored in an average game and a higher likelihood of draws compared to such things as American Football, basketball or baseball, which are far more popular. In how far this is a legitimate argument for regarding soccer as "less interesting" is up to debate.
|-
|Why do rhymes sound good?||The brain enjoys repetition especially in music.
|-
|Why do trees die?||Some common reasons include lack of water, lack of nitrogen in the soil and being chopped down.
|-
|Why is there no sound on CNN?||Some stations broadcast a {{w|second audio program}}, an alternative sound track that your TV can be configured to use instead of the primary program. This is intended to be used for broadcasting in an alternate language, or for {{w|Descriptive Video Service}} to make a program accessible to the visually impaired. Many programs that don't actually use SAP will still broadcast an SAP that is identical to the primary program; however, this is not required. If your TV is configured to use SAP and a particular channel isn't broadcasting SAP at that time, there won't be any sound.
|-
|Why aren't Pokémon real?||Pokémon are fantasised creatures that were designed to produce an interesting battle mechanic in a game. Some of the pokémons abilities would be impossible on earth as we know it. For instance, Magcargo is hotter than the surface of the sun.<ref name="Bulbapedia Magcargo">http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Magcargo#Trivia</ref>
|-
|Why aren't bullets sharp?||See {{w|Terminal ballistics}}.
|-
|Why do dreams seem so real?|| Most dreams occur during a stage known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement). During REM, your brain is highly active and its wave pattern is the same as the wave patterns in a person who is awake. It should be noted that dreams can occur during other stages of sleep but most dreams that are vivid occur during the REM stage.
|-
|}

===Section Three===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why do testicles move?|| The scrotum shrinks and expands to account for temperature changes.
|-
| Why are there psychics?|| Because the world would be boring otherwise.
|-
| Why are hats so expensive?|| Hats can be expensive depending on the quality of material, size, location, and demand. A probable answer is that hats are simply difficult to make, causing high prices. Another likely cause is the fact that hats are not widely worn in much of the western world and people who do wear them often have far fewer than they have, for example, shirts, meaning that manufacturers cannot get the same economies of scale in production and distribution.
|-
| Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?|| Because the producers want you to believe that caffeine penetrates the hair roots and thereby somehow protects it from negative testosterone impacts and from premature hair loss.
|-
| Why do your boobs hurt?|| Common reasons are a badly-fitted bra or {{w|PMS}}. It could also be a hormone imbalance, breastfeeding, large or awkwardly shaped breasts or a serious condition such as {{w|breast cancer}}.
|}

===Section Four===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why aren't economists rich? || Economists study how society organises resources but, contrary to the popular misconception, don't focus much on the short-term behaviour of the stock market (a system that is still poorly understood). In order to become rich, in most cases one has to own a commodity that produces more wealth, such as a large company, or be related to somebody who has done so. In rare cases, a particularly lucky individual could become rich by having an unusually high paying job, such as a famous actor or sports star. Neither of these situations are likely for someone studying the field of economics. Some economists do get very rich as strategists for banks and businesses, but most are just academics and analysts.
|-
| Why do Americans call it soccer? || {{w|Association Football}} is called Soccer (short for "association") in the USA because {{w|American Football}} is the more popular version there. Of note is that the word "soccer" originates on British soil, to distinguish it from Rugby football aka "rugger".
|-
| Why are my ears ringing? || {{w|Tinnitus}}, or ringing of the ears, can result from stress, foreign objects in the ear, hearing damage, wax build up, or any other number of causes.
|-
| Why are there so many Avengers? ||The number of Avengers has [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Avengers_members varied greatly] over the years and decades, each time with its own justification for why they need to work together, but the simplest answer is money. Cross-branding and cross-merchandising is successful to the brand and brings in new readers, plus creates a new franchise to profit from.
|-
|Why are the Avengers fighting the X Men || {{w|Avengers vs. X-Men}} was a 2012 Marvel crossover event that, like many other recent comic book events, had heroes fight other heroes. In this case, the {{w|Avengers (comics)|Avengers}} and the {{w|X-Men}} fought over the {{w|Phoenix Force (comics)|Phoenix Force}}, a godlike power that often possesses {{w|Jean Grey}} or her descendants (in this case, her alternate universe daughter Hope Summers). The Avengers believed the Phoenix Force is too powerful for humanity to control and wanted to contain it, while the X-Men believed the Phoenix was the messiah for mutants and could fix all of the Earth's problems.
|-
|Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers || Wolverine ''has'' been an Avenger, in some circumstances. e.g. in the {{w|The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes}} cartoon series, the episode ''New Avengers'' had Wolverine (along with Spiderman, War Machine, The Thing and Luke Cage and Iron Fist) substitute while the 'original' Avengers were unavailable to deal with the current crisis (which of course included the fate of the 'proper' Avengers). However, in general his anti-authority personality makes him a difficult team-member to field, and he has frequently disassociated himself even from the X-Men. But, in Avengers vs. X-Men (see above) Wolverine ''sided'' with The Avengers, and more modern treatments have even included the character in about as much a permanent a membership of the group as Logan is ever likely to have.

But if the question is about why Wolverine didn't appear in {{w|The Avengers (2012 film)|''The Avengers''}}, the answer is that ''The Avengers'' is being produced by Marvel/Disney, while Fox still has the rights to the X-Men and all Marvel mutants in general. Unless there is studio agreement, the two properties cannot cross, except through complicated machinations. For example, there are plans to bring Avengers mainstays Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch to both the ''Avengers'' and ''X-Men'' franchises, but only the Fox films have the right to call them the children of Magneto, and Marvel/Disney cannot even identify them on-screen as "mutants".
|}

===Section Five===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
|Why are there ants in my laptop? || Ants usually come in your laptop when there are little crumbs of food. It is advised to get screen protectors.
|-
| Why is Earth tilted? || The Earth's axial "tilt", wherein its axis of rotation is not perpendicular it its orbit, is a result of conservation of momentum when the Earth was formed, because not everything orbits in the same way. This is pure happenstance.
|-
| Why is space black? || What we call black is the absence of light. Space is mostly empty, and although there are many stars, the light from most of these stars hasn't reached us yet. In addition, a lot of light has been stretched by {{w|redshift}} so it's no longer visible to us. See {{w|Olbers' paradox}}
|-
| Why is outer space so cold? || It's hard to actually define a temperature for space - it's empty, so there's nothing to measure. However, most of space has very little radiation hitting it, so a person won't receive any energy, but will still radiate some away, resulting in a net loss of energy, colloquially "heat." Around the Earth, objects in direct sunlight will actually get very hot. In deep space, there is almost no warming radiation.
|-
| Why are there pyramids on the moon? || There are no pyramids on the moon. However, the appearance of mountains and some craters on the moon have fooled some into believing there are pyramids on the moon, but these claims are false.
|-
| Why is NASA shutting down? ||NASA isn't shutting down. This question might have something to do with the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_federal_government_shutdown_of_2013 Government Shutdown of 2013] or perhaps due to the then-current shuttle program ending, but that is not the entirety of NASA.
|}

===Section <s>Spider</s> Six===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there tiny spiders in my house?
|rowspan="6"|During autumn in particular male spiders reaching maturing will set off to find a mate. By chance they may end up in your house. When encountering spiders in large numbers, it is more likely that they are young from the same female spider. Females lay {{w|Spider#Reproduction_and_life_cycle|up to 3,000}} eggs at a time. These questions also plays off of Munroe's longstanding fear of spiders, especially the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/8:_Red_spiders red spiders] mentioned in [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Red_Spiders several early comics].
|-
| Why do spiders come inside?
|-
| Why are there huge spiders in my house?
|-
| Why are there lots of spiders in my house?
|-
| Why are there spiders in my room?
|-
| Why are there so many spiders in my room?
|-
| Why do spider bites itch? ||This mostly happens as an immune response to [http://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/why-do-mosquito-bites-itch histamines] under the skin which are injected through saliva.
|-
| Why is dying so scary? ||Part of human nature is the fear of the unknown, and death is the ultimate unknown because it is not knowable until it's experienced, and there is nobody to report what the result was. This leaves it open to speculation, and many major religions are based on preparing ones soul for death. Also, dying would leave loved ones families with the responsibility of taking care of their remains and finances. And finally, most people don't want to die, living for as long as possible, possibly because the unknown is too unbearable to cope with. Still though several people are not afraid of death and dying, and recognize life is short and to cherish each moment while we can. Death is inevitable, so we should not fear it. In addition, it would be evolutionarily advantageous for our ancestors to have feared and avoided death.
|-
| Why is there no GPS in laptops? ||It is not impossible for laptops to have a GPS, and some do. But there are [http://security.stackexchange.com/questions/50907/are-there-gps-tracker-for-laptops design difficulties] that have to be overcome including battery draining, room within the crowded device to place a receiver, WiFi can give a location just as well, and the product casing could interfere with its ability to functional normally and receive the signals necessary to operate as intended. Some Dell computers have these, but the privacy one needs to give up to accept the terms and conditions makes it unfavorable.
|-
| Why do knees click? || Typical of other clicking and cracking of joints, this may be the sound of [http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/knee-pain/features/knee-cracks-pops ligaments tightening]. However do not rely on a wiki to diagnose a medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.
|-
|-
| Why aren't there E grades? ||E grades [http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/e-f-grading-scale/ actually exist] in some districts, but they are rare. In their long and bizarre history, E was originally used where F is today (E was the lowest grade), but in those systems, students often received E's for an "Excellent" grade, creating much confusion. F was used in place instead and E was eliminated from a standard grading scale.
|-
| Why is isolation bad? ||Isolation is when a person deliberately secludes themselves away from others, often far-removed from society. This can happen in locations as small as a city apartment and as large as the open woods. People evolved as social animals and it is generally held that those who isolate themselves suffer from depression or other forms of psychological imbalance. Of course society can trigger many of these imbalances causing an individual to isolate themselves. Isolation is often seen as therapeutic so people can spend time with themselves constructively, often finding peace within themselves and through mediation. Monks and hermits generally live in solitude as well. Many people view a decision to be isolated as noble, and others as healthy. While general interaction is largely healthy, in the crowded modern world, isolation is neither good or bad; it depends on the person and what that isolation does to them.
|-
| Why do boys like me? ||Attraction comes in many forms: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, among others. Many people will lie about what they like about you to get something else (money, sex, etc.), but most are genuine. It is not possible to assert definitively why one person may like another person, and that is something that needs to be discussed openly and honestly with them and nobody else.
|-
| Why don't boys like me? ||Similar to the answer above about what makes one desirable to another, there are an equal number of factors that make one unappealing. This can include everything from physical appearance to how one treats others. If a person is rude and unfriendly, most people find that not-conducive to healthy relationship and avoid the person who is asking. Not being liked by someone you like however does not mean you're wrong or are a bad person and in most cases has to do with the person you are asking about.
|-
| Why is there always a Java update? ||[https://www.java.com/en/download/faq/whatis_java.xml Java] is a software that runs on most computers and mobile devices that is crucial to its security and stability. The reason why it always updates is because it needs to stay current with the ever-upgrading fleet of browsers, operating systems and software that supports Java. Additionally Java updates itself so each version can run optimally. Software coding and debugging is a never-ending process towards perfectly stable releases.
|-
| Why are there red dots on my thighs? || This might be [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petechia Petechia], which are broken blood vessels, however do not rely on a wiki to diagnose medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.
|-
| Why is lying good? ||Lying and other forms of dishonesty is typically seen as bad because it lowers one's credibility and makes them less likely to be trusted in the future. It is almost always advantageous to tell the truth, as lies have a way of escalating as you need to keep expanding on the lie to cover your tracks. There are instances however where lying may be used in more noble circumstances. For example, if a friend asks your opinion on something they have made (such as a poem or painting) that you do not like, it is okay to tell them you like it because protecting their feelings and your relationship is more important than how you feel. Often military personnel are trained to keep national security secrets at all costs and will lie about what they know to save themselves and the country.
|}

===Section Seven===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there slaves in the bible? ||Slavery was viewed differently in the early years of human civilization before the contemporary moral and ethical conversations began centuries later. The Jewish legal system as presented in the bible {{w|The Bible and slavery|justified slavery}} for a number of reasons, notably to pay off some sort of debt. Slaves were seen as property and their work provided value to the slave owner, but such a relationship was legally required to be temporary and slaves had some basic human rights. Similarly slave owners rationalized their ownership through scripture, pointing out that it was in the Bible and therefore okay with God — without wishing to go off on a tangent, if you have to rationalize your system of slavery then it's probably illegal under historic Jewish law.
|-
| Why do twins have different fingerprints? || Fingerprints are not only from the DNA, but from the conditions in the womb which differ from child to child.
|-
| Why are Americans afraid of dragons? ||This question was the title of a [http://blogs.sfu.ca/courses/spring2012/engl387/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Why-are-Americans-Afraid-of-Dragons.docx 1974 essay] by Ursula K. LeGeuin in which she makes a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semiotics semiotic] analysis of dragon mythology. She argues that our belief in dragons (and those outside of America as well) stems from childhood, much like other ferocious fictional creatures such as goblins and hobbits, but many hold onto these fears as a way of avoiding reality. In her closing argument, she writes, "They know that its truth challenges, even threatens, all that is false, all that is phony, unnecessary, and trivial in the life they have let themselves be forced into living. They are afraid of dragons, because they are afraid of freedom."
|-
| Why is HTTPS crossed out in red? || The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate.
|-
| Why is there a line through HTTPS? || The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate.
|-
| Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook? || Facebook has an invalid SSL certificate.
|-
| Why is HTTPS important? || For security reasons, as a site with HTTPS has encrypted traffic.
|}

===Section Eight===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there swarms of gnats? || The reason gnats (and other creatures) tend to swarm together is likely a safety-in-numbers protection, and as a big gathering to find a mate.
|-
| Why is there phlegm? ||{{w|Phlegm#Phlegm|Phlegm}} is a thick, viscous fluid produced by the mucus membranes as a way to clear the airway and aids in the release of bacteria, disease and debris in those passages.
|-
| Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN || From a Minnesota Paper, [http://www.startribune.com/local/138902104.html the Star Tribune], "Laws prevent the city from poisoning the crows". "Duffy [ {{w|Steve Duffy}}, a co-owner of U.S. Bird Abatement Services, which has contracted with Rochester to get rid of the crows] isn't sure why Rochester has such a bad crow problem; probably a confluence of many bird-friendly conditions that has also made it a magnet for {{w|geese}}. He's seen worse cases, but called Rochester's situation 'hideous.'" And best of all, "The city has twice this winter hired experts to chase them off. They tried {{w|lasers}} and bullhorns — hey, get out of here, you crows — and even employed raptors to pick them off, one by one. That worked, for awhile." Unfortunately, they mean a {{w|bird of prey}}, not a {{w|velociraptor}}.
|-
| Why is Psychic weak to Bug || In Pokémon, Pokémon of the psychic type like Mr. Mime are weak to three types of attacks: Ghost, Dark, and Bug. The general theory is that Psychic Pokémon, relying heavily on their thoughts for attacks, are weak to fears, which ghosts, darkness, and bugs can be classified as.
|-
| Why do children get cancer? ||{{w|Cancer}} is an aggressive and often fatal disease that has the potential to affect all humans as well as other organisms. There are multiple types of cancer, each with their own epidemiology, but children are not immune to succumbing to the horrific effects of the disease. Children are human beings and are subject to the same illnesses adults have, regardless of age, or their innocence. There is no divine or supernatural explanation for this. Simply put, life is a battle for all humans regardless of how small they are.
|-
| Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus? || {{w|Poseidon}} was the patron deity of the city of {{w|Troy}}, which after a 10 years siege by the Greeks fell due to {{w|Odysseus}}' list of the {{w|Trojan_Horse|Trojan horse}}. As the Greeks were returning home after the Trojan War, Oddyseus' ship accidentally landed on the island home of the cyclops Polyphemus, who imprisoned the crew and ate many of them. In order to escape, Odysseus blinded the cyclops. Poseidon, Polyphemus' father, was extremely angered by his son being blinded, so he cursed Odysseus' ship to prevent him from reaching his home in {{W|Ithaca}}. The adventures which Odysseus encountered during his quest for reaching Ithaca are the main theme of {{w|Homer|Homer's}} {{w|Odyssey}} The Odyssey also says that before sailing, the crew forgot to offer a sacrifice as was ordained.
|-
| Why is there ice in space? || Space is {{w|Outer_space#Environment|Cold}}. The background radiation, which is used to measure the temperature of space's vacuum, is estimated at about 3K (−270 °C; −454 °F). Water freezes at 273.15 K (0 °C; 32 °F). Because the temperature in space is less than the freezing point of water, liquids freeze in space, turning into ice.
|}

===Section <s>Owl</s> Nine===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why is there an owl in my back yard? || Owls can be seen all over the world, and live in a wide variety of habitats. They are mainly noctural, and spend a large portion of the night hunting. The owl in your back yard is likely looking for food.
|-
| Why is there an owl outside my window? || As with the question above, the owl is likely to be hunting for food.
|-
| Why is there an owl on the dollar bill? || On the front of a dollar bill, near the upper right '1' is a tiny section of the design which can be seen to represent an owl. Conspiracy theorists will note that owls were symbolically linked to the Masons, while others will instead see a spider.
|-
| Why do owls attack people? || While owls and human often live in close proximity without problems, as with other species, owls may attack if they feel threatened. When people irritate or otherwise make owls feel unsafe, they retaliate with violence to protect themselves.
|-
| Why are AK47s so expensive? || The market value of an AK47 varies depending on where in the world you live. With strict gun control laws, obtaining an AK47 in the UK is likely to be more expensive due to the risks involved for those supplying the weapon. In ex-soviet countries and the middle east, AK47s are more plentiful, and hence the price is likely to be lower.
|-
| Why are there helicopters circling my house? ||People living in high-crime areas will often hear helicopters circling, especially at night, when police use the helicopter's searchlight to locate and track suspects, or to light a crime scene. Those Googling this question might be wondering if a dangerous fugitive is nearby, or what else may be going on. Alternately, this question may be a joke because it is so incongruous to the others in this section. The joke is that people would be Googling about owls attacking people and assault rifle prices, which could, ostensibly alert authorities to come to your house to arrest you.
|}

===Section Ten===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there gods? || Gods and goddesses are part of mythology and folklore that are used to give spiritual guidance as well as explanations for phenomena that are yet unexplained by natural processes.
|-
|Why are there two Spocks? || This is probably a reference to the {{w|Star_Trek_(film)|2009 Star Trek movie}} in which the franchise was given a {{w|Reboot_(fiction)|continuity reboot}}. The modified setting is explained in-universe by time travel, with both the villain Nero and the original-timeline Spock being brought back from the 24th century to the 23rd, creating a timeline in which both older Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) and the younger Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) coexist.

Another possibility is that the question refers to the episode {{w|Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|"Mirror, Mirror"}}, which mostly takes place in an alternate universe populated by ruthless versions of most of the characters (including Spock).
|-
| Why is Mt Vesuvius there? ||The simple answer is that volcanoes are created by interactions where the Earth's tectonic plates meet. These conditions only exist in a few places on Earth. The question could also be asking, "why is Mt Vesuvius near such a heavily populated area?" Humans have lived near Vesuvius throughout history, due to its pleasant climate, rich soil, and proximity to other major cities. The Italian government [http://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/jun/05/italy.sophiearie offers generous cash incentives] to move people away from the danger zone, but finds few takers.This question could also be a reference to mountaineer {{w|George Mallory}}'s famous answer as to why he wanted to climb Mount Everest: "Because it's there."
|-
| Why do they say T minus? || Time before the launch of a spacecraft is denoted as T minus because the launch has not happened yet. Any time after the launched is stated without the minus, for example T 3 seconds, so time before the launch can be seen as "minus" time. The T stands for "Test" or "Time".
|-
| Why are there obelisks? || {{w|Obelisk}} article has more
|-
| Why are wrestlers always wet? || Professional wrestling is strenuous activity, whether its fake or not. Strenuous activity results in sweat, giving the bodyan appearance of being wet. Greco-roman wrestling and Turkish Oil Wrestling both involve oiling the body, giving a similar appearance.
|-
| Why are oceans becoming more acidic? || Due to the higher amount of carbon dioxide on the atmosphere, which dissolves in the oceans turning into carbonic acid - CO2+H2O=H2CO3 (see {{w|Ocean acidification}})
|-
| Why is Arwen dying? || {{w|Elf (Middle-Earth)#Death|Elves}} can die from grief .
|-
| Why aren't my quail laying eggs? || Have you tried turning them off and on again?
|-
| Why aren't my quail eggs hatching? || Problems in incubation, probably.
|-
|Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America? || ''Further information: {{w|United States military deployments}}''This is a very interesting question, albeit one likely based on a regional misunderstanding. Presumably, this question is asked by Americans who assume that the existence of {{w|Category:Military facilities of the United States by country|U.S. military bases abroad}} is a general trend among countries, as opposed to being the rarity that it is. In fact, {{w|List of countries with overseas military bases|only a handful of other countries}} have military bases outside of their borders, and the three—{{w|France}}, the {{w|United Kingdom}}, and {{w|Russia}}—that have more than one or two are all countries that, like the United States, {{w|Allies of World War II|were on the winning side of World War II}}, have {{w|List of countries by military expenditures|massive military expenditures}}, and have {{w|United Nations Security Council veto power|UN Security Council vetoes}}. In other words, only the most militarily elite countries have bases overseas. The U.S. is unique, however, in that it has far more overseas bases than any other country (and, pretty much, far more of anything else than any other country, when it comes to the military), and in that {{w|List of United States military bases|it has bases in several other highly-industrialized nations}}, including {{w|List of United States Army installations in South Korea|South Korea}} and the United Kingdom, and, most notably, the World War II {{w|Axis powers}}: {{w|List of United States Army installations in Germany|Germany}}, {{w|United States Forces Japan|Japan}}, and {{w|List of United States Army installations in Italy|Italy}}. France, Russia, and the U.K.'s bases, on the other hand, are almost all within areas that they previously controlled.These bases can be controversial in some countries, while in others they are a major source of economic and political stability. The U.S. traditionally justifies their presence as a necessary and crucial element in its efforts to promote peace domestically and worldwide. Despite their major role in {{w|U.S. foreign policy}}, and in the general political structure of the globe, the American public often largely ignores them, and they rarely become a major political issue (apart from an occasional mention by {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian presidential candidates}}).So, essentially, the absence of foreign military bases within the U.S. is primarily because there aren't really any other countries in a position to place bases there. Ironically, although no battles in the traditional sense have been fought within the U.S. since the {{w|U.S. Civil War}} and the U.S. mainland has seen {{w|Mainland invasion of the United States|almost no military action}}, foreign air force bases might have been useful on September 11, 2001. (The {{w|attack on Pearl Harbor}} in 1941 was 18 years before Hawaii became a U.S. state, but Hawaii was still a fundamental part of the United States as it was an incorporated territory.)There are, however, foreign troops stationed at some continental US military bases. For example, RAF (British Royal Air Force) 39 Sqn and 361 Sqn at Creech Air Force Base in Nevada flying Reaper and Predator drones. But this are not foreign military bases, they are just guests.
|}

===Section Eleven===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are my boobs itchy? ||It could be anything from dry skin to a rare life-threatening disease. Could also be related to pregnancy, PMS, or puberty. [http://www.just-health.net/Itchy-Breast.html Here's a thorough list] of possible causes and remedies.
|-
| Why are cigarettes legal? ||Despite the obvious detrimental affects nicotine has on health, like caffeine and alcohol, it is easy to regulate. Substances like marijuana and other drugs are mainly illegal because the government and regulatory agencies have no control over their production and distribution and therefore cannot profit from it. Nicotine however, which is the key ingredient in tobacco can be regulated and taxed and is.
|-
| Why are there ducks in my pool? ||Most likely, they're looking for a place to mate. Which means you'll soon have baby ducks in your pool. Most migratory birds are protected by wildlife laws, so you want to prevent them from moving into your pool in the first place. The [http://www.dfwwildlife.org/duck.html DFW Wildlife Coalition] has some tips.
|-
| Why is Jesus white? ||This is an ethnocentric viewpoint that varies throughout cultures. In African cultures he is portrayed as black. In short, whatever culture he is introduced to, those inhabitants will have him fit their own image.
|-
| Why is there liquid in my ear? ||[http://www.healthline.com/symptom/discharge-from-ear It's called otorrhea], and can be caused by infection, trauma, or changes in pressure. A common cause is [http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/swimmers-ear/basics/definition/con-20014723 Swimmer's ear], an infection of the outer ear canal.
|-
| Why do Q tips feel good? ||The inner ear contains [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erectile_tissue erectile tissue] (as does your inner nose which is why sneezing feels good) so you are massing tissue which gets aroused upon stimulation.
|-
| Why do good people die? ||Everybody dies, no matter how good or bad they were. But sometimes if people are really bad they are made to die sooner. (But loved ones and ones who were known to make memorable or valuable contributions are mourned and revered more than a person who has left much pain to others as their legacy; we remember the good ones and so it hurts more.)
|-
| Why are ultrasounds important? ||Ultrasound scans provide a great deal of information about a fetus, thus increasing the chances of a healthy birth. They have many other medical uses.
|-
| Why are ultrasound machines expensive? ||As hospital equipment goes, ultrasound machines are actually a bargain. [http://www.costowl.com/healthcare/healthcare-ultrasound-machine-costs.html A new ultrasound machine] costs about $20,000-$75,000, depending on features. Comparable devices are much more expensive: The [http://info.blockimaging.com/bid/84432/CT-Scanner-Price-Guide CT scanner] runs $90,000-$250,000, while the [http://www.ehow.com/about_4731161_much-do-mri-machines-cost.html MRI machine] easily goes over a million.
|-
| Why is stealing wrong? ||Stealing is theft and it is illegal. Taking something that is not yours without permission or payment hurts the livelihood of other individuals as well as damages their trust in others.
|}

===Vertical Questions===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why is there hell if god forgives? ||There is not a single answer to this question. The answer varies based on the religion and that religion's sect mixed with personal interpretations of that religions scripture and how a person decides to follow it. However the idea of what Hell will be like also varies. There is no one answer to this question, but the easiest explanation is that the individual did not pray hard enough, correctly, was not part of the right religion, and their forgiveness was contingent on something that the person either did not do or know to do (or say or think)
|-
| Why do iguanas die? ||All living things die, but iguanas may suffer from [http://www.anapsid.org/iguana/kidneyfailure.html kidney failure].
|-
| Why is GPS free? || GPS was originally developed by the U.S. military for its own use, not for commercial purposes. However, the government realized that free GPS would have a significant bonus for the economy and would prevent disasters like the {{w|Korean Air Lines Flight 007}} where a plane was shot down after accidentally entering Soviet airspace, and in 1983 President Reagan declared that the US would make GPS available to all. At one point, "{{w|selective availability}}" was used to degrade performance for civilian users, but since 2000 this has also been switched off.
|-
| Why are trees tall? ||Tall is a relative term, and Redwoods are famous for their height - among the tallest in the world. The reason for this is, in part [http://www.nps.gov/redw/faqs.htm climate, fog, rain, good soil, few predators, among others].
|-
|Why are there female Mr. Mimes? || {{w|Mr. Mime}} is a Pokémon introduced in the first generation of the games, and despite its name, it can be either of a male or female gender. As the Pokémon was introduced before the concept of [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gender gender in Pokémon games], it is likely that the people in charge of translating its Japanese name (Barrierd) did not take this into account during the process.
|-
| Why is there lava? ||{{w|Lava}} is magma (molten rock) which is at the Earth's surface. Magma in the Earth comes from the melting of rock due to rising heat from deeper within the planet. {{w|Earth's internal heat budget|This heat}} is about half radiogenic and half primordial (left over from the formation and differentiation of the Earth). Most of the crust and mantle of the Earth is solid rock, but in places (usually controlled by plate tectonics, but {{w|Hawaii hotspot|not always}}) where the heat is high enough the minerals with lowest melting point start to melt and then migrate upwards towards the surface. This melt collects in {{w|Magma chamber|magma chambers}}, in which the magma may start to cool and crystallize. Sometimes it will crystallize completely, becoming an underground solid body called a pluton. Other times melt will keep migrating upwards until it reaches the surface and erupts as lava, forming a {{w|volcano}} or undersea vent.
|-
| Why is YKK on all zippers? || {{w|YKK}} Group is the name of a large group of Japanese manufacturing companies, which among other things manufacture a lot of zippers. YKK zippers are also considered to be some of the best available, so a clothing maker including a YKK zipper would likely leave the YKK name on, instead of getting no branding or rebranding them.
|-
| Why is life so boring? ||It is up to an individual to find meaning and interest in life. Monotony, predictability and lack of physical and intellectual stimulation would lead to a feeling of boredom.
|-
| Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts? ||Ghosts are a supernatural phenomenon that have not been empirically proven to exist. Those who believe in ghosts implicitly believe in a soul (of which a ghost is a materialization of), and it is a commonly held belief by religious institutions and ghost-hunters that animals do not have souls and thus dinosaurs would not have any either.
|-
|Why is there no king in England? || ''Note: For simplicity's sake, "England" here is being read as "United Kingdom." The various name changes, mergers, and splits of kingdoms are complicated.''The basis for this question is that for the past several hundred years, there has almost always been a queen in England, the sole exceptions being when the king has not had a wife. However, there is a distinction between being the queen of England (that is to say, {{w|List of British monarchs|a monarch}}) and being the {{w|queen consort|queen ''consort''}} of England: The former refers to a woman who {{w|Succession to the British throne|succeeded to the throne}} in her own right, becoming sovereign, while the latter refers to the wife of the king. Both roles, though, are commonly referred to as "Queen of England," creating the impression that there is always such a person. The logical question, therefore, is why {{w|Elizabeth II}}'s husband, {{w|Prince Philip|Philip}}, is not considered the king of England. The answer lies in Britain's system of {{w|male-preference cognatic primogeniture}}, which causes the monarch of England to usually be a man, not a woman. As a result of this, British laws were generally built around the presumption that the monarch would be a man, and that said man would be married to a woman, [[223: Valentine's Day|comic 223]] be damned. Since the creation of the modern British throne in 1707, only two women have reigned as queen in their own right; it just so happens that these two women have been two of the most famous and longest-reigning monarchs in world history, {{w|Queen Victoria}} and Queen Elizabeth II. This fact may add to people's enhanced perception of the lack of a British king. Victoria and Elizabeth's respective consorts, {{w|Albert, Prince Consort|Albert}} and Philip, have been styled as princes—Albert as {{w|Prince Consort}} and Philip as "{{w|British prince|Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland}}." Both were explicitly granted their titles by their wives, though Albert was already a prince of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, and Philip had previously been a prince of Denmark and Greece, but had renounced both titles before marrying Elizabeth.The title {{w|king consort}} also exists, but has never been used in the United Kingdom.Notably, should {{w|Prince Charles}} succeed to his mother's throne, it has been announced that his wife, {{w|Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall|Camilla}}, will be styled as {{w|princess consort}}, ''not'' as queen consort, just as she has declined the title {{w|Princess of Wales}}, which is strongly associated with Charles's first wife, {{w|Princess Diana|Diana}}. Assuming that Charles succeeds, this means that Britain will not have anyone referred to as "queen," after decades of not having anyone referred to as "king."
|-
| Why do I feel dizzy? ||Balance is achieved from fluids in the inner-ear, but [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dizziness#Epidemiology dizziness] can have nearly a dozen causes.
|-
| Why are dogs afraid of fireworks? ||Loud noises can trigger their flight or fight responses when they are [http://www.cesarsway.com/dogbehavior/hyperdog/How-to-Keep-Your-Dog-Safe-and-Calm-During-Fireworks nervous].
|-
| Why are there weeks? || Weeks were originally important for religious reasons, primarily the requirement to observe a sabbath (day of rest) every seventh day. Today it is used to create a common schedule that doesn't change due to month length, much like the months divide a year to be able to schedule things like dentist appointments. Similarly, hours and minutes divide a day making it possible to create a schedule.
|}

==See also==
http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1l3na7/questions/cbvigrd, answers to all the questions.

==References==
<references/>

==Transcript==
:[This strip is a rectangular word cloud, titled 'Questions found in Google autocomplete'. Embedded in the cloud are 5 single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks.]

:Questions found in Google Autocomplete

:Why do whales jump
:Why are witches green
:Why are there mirrors above beds
:Why do I say uh
:Why is sea salt better
:Why are there trees in the middle of fields
:Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
:Why is there laughing in TV shows
:Why are there doors on the freeway
:Why are there so many svchost.exe running
:Why aren't there any countries in antarctica
:Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
:Why is there kicking in my stomach
:Why are there two slashes after HTTP
:Why are there celebrities
:Why do snakes exist
:Why do oysters have pearls
:Why are ducks called ducks
:Why do they call it the clap
:Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
:Why is there an arraow on Aang's head
:Why are text messages blue
:Why are there mustaches on clothes
:Why are there mustaches on cars
:Why are there mustaches everywhere
:Why are there so many birds in Ohio
:Why is there so much rain in Ohio
:Why is Ohio weather so weird
:Why are there male and female bikes
:Why are there bridesmaids
:Why do dying people reach up
:Why aren't there varicose arteries
:Why are old Klingons different
:Why is programming so hard
:Why is there a 0 ohm resistor
:Why do Americans hate soccer
:Why do rhymes sound good
:Why do trees die
:Why is there no sound on CNN
:Why aren't Pokemon real
:Why aren't bullets sharp
:Why do dreams seem so real
:Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
:Why do iguanas die
:Why do testicles move
:Why are there psychics
:Why are hats so expensive
:Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
:Why do your boobs hurt
:Why aren't economists rich
:Why do Americans call it soccer
:Why are my ears ringing
:Why are there so many Avengers
:Why are the Avengers fighting the X men
:Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
:Why are there ants in my laptop
:Why is Earth tilted
:Why is space black
:Why is outer space so cold
:Why are there pyramids on the moon
:Why is NASA shutting down
:Why is there Hell if God forgives
:Why are there tiny spiders in my house
:Why do spiders come inside
:Why are there huge spiders in my house
:Why are there lots of spiders in my house
:Why are there spiders in my room
:Why are there so many spiders in my room
:Why do spider bites itch
:Why is dying so scary
:Why is there no GPS in laptops
:Why do knees click
:Why aren't there E grades
:Why is isolation bad
:Why do boys like me
:Why don't boys like me
:Why is there always a Java update
:Why are there red dots on my thighs
:Why is lying good
:Why is GPS free
:Why are trees tall
:Why are there slaves in the Bible
:Why do twins have different fingerprints
:Why are Americans afraid of dragons
:Why is there lava
:Why are there swarms of gnats
:Why is there phlegm
:Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
:Why is psychic weak to bug
:Why do children get cancer
:Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
:Why is there ice in space
:Why are there female Mr Mimes
:Why is there an owl in my backyard
:Why is there an owl outside my window
:Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
:Why do owls attack people
:Why are AK47s so expensive
:Why are there helicopters circling my house
:Why are there gods
:Why are there two Spocks
:Why is Mt Vesuvius there
:Why do they say T minus
:Why are there obelisks
:Why are wrestlers always wet
:Why are oceans becoming more acidic
:Why is Arwen dying
:Why aren't my quail laying eggs
:Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
:Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America
:Why is life so boring
:Why are my boobs itchy
:Why are cigarettes legal
:Why are there ducks in my pool
:Why is Jesus white
:Why is there liquid in my ear
:Why do Q tips feel good
:Why do good people die
:Why are ultrasounds important
:Why are ultrasound machines expensive
:Why is stealing wrong
:Why is YKK on all zippers
:Why is HTTPS crossed out in red
:Why is there a line through HTTPS
:Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook
:Why is HTTPS important
:Why are there weeks
:Why do I feel dizzy
:Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
:Why is there no king in England

:[We see Cueball from the torso up, with arms outstretched.]
:Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing

:[Megan stands with a grey ghost on either side of her.]
:Megan: Why are there ghosts

:[Beret Guy stands, looking at a squirrel.]
:Beret Guy: Why are there squirrels

:[Cueball stands.]
:Cueball: Why is sex so important.

:[We see Ponytail from the torso up.]
:Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]

1256: Questions

2018-04-30T18:07:27Z

Guest: template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 1256
| date = August 26, 2013
| title = Questions
| image = questions.png
| titletext = To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
}}
A larger version of the picture can be found in http://xkcd.com/1256/large/.
==Explanation==
{{w|Google}}, a rather popular internet search engine, has a feature known as [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/106230?hl=en autocomplete] that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

The largest pictured questions are: "Why are there slaves in the bible" and "Why are there ants in my laptop".

All of the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the moon". All these questions and many more (33,171 in total) can be found in http://xkcd.com/why.txt.

Regarding the title text: in the Peter Jackson films of {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)|''The Lord of the Rings'' trilogy}}, Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." This subplot is entirely absent from the {{w|The Lord of the Rings|original novels}}.

From [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq#.2.1.21 IMDB]: <blockquote>
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter. </blockquote>

==Selected answers==
The tables below have been created so as to split the comic into almost entirely arbitrary blocks, which have then been identified with similarly arbitrary numbers. As a general rule, section numbers work top to bottom, then right to left.
===Illustrated Panels===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
|Why aren't my arms growing?||Arms stop growing because longer arms would not be a very useful way to spend resources. Human DNA has programmed the body to gradually ossify (turn to bone) the growing arms and legs, closing the {{w|epiphyseal plate}} (the flat plate at the end of each long bone), at which point they stop growing. Alternately, the muscles of the arm, which may have been the intended subject of the question, may fail to grow if not exercised with appropriate resistance, repetition or frequency; if nutrition is insufficient; if insufficient recovery time is given; or if sufficient levels of certain hormones like growth hormone or testosterone are not present.
|-
|Why are there ghosts?||There is no hard evidence of ghosts.
|-
|Why are there squirrels?||Squirrels are the product of a long sequence of evolution, like any other animal. They persist because they effectively reproduce and compete for resources within their niche, but they are also the product of many circumstantial events that has led to them being the way they are.
|-
|Why is sex so important?||Sex is important biologically because it is the primary method of reproduction in many different species, and culturally because it both plays an important role in human relationship and causes hard-to-control urges that affect behaviour. However, it can be of varying importance to different people (see [http://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=overview.html asexuality]).
|-
| Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter? || In the {{w|Harry Potter}} universe {{w|guns}} do exist and are mentioned at the beginning of {{w|Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban}} when the news gives a warning that Sirius Black has one. Muggle technology (human inventions) are often looked down on by wizards - the majority of half-blooded wizards won't touch one, let alone a wizard extremist like {{w|Voldemort}}. Not only does any Muggle device more complex than a wristwatch interfere with magical artifacts, but wands are usually more versatile than most guns; a revolver can't shoot lightning, summon items or teleport its user. Finally, while Harry himself may or may not consider using firearms due to his Muggle upbringing, ''Harry Potter'' is set in the United Kingdom (which has stricter gun laws than, say, the United States).
|-
|-
|}

===Section One===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why do whales jump? || Partly to get air, partly because it's an effective way to catch prey near the surface, and partly because they just seem to find it fun - it's like going into outer space!
|-
|Why are witches green? || See {{w|Wizard of Oz}}.
|-
|Why are there mirrors above beds?|| Often, these are used by couples to view themselves during coitus.
|-
|Why do I say Uh?||See ''[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/06/the_odd_body_language_fillers/ Why do we say 'um', 'er', or 'ah' when we hesitate in speaking?]''.
|-
| Why is sea salt better? || The question likely refers to the difference between common {{w|Fortified table salt}} and usually more expensive sea salt. While the major part of both of these is sodium chloride (NaCl) the idea behind the claim is the different composition mostly in regards to trace elements of sea salt compared to "normal" salt. Table salt's composition is often influenced by a country's health department and thus addition of trace elements is regulated. While these regulations are based on scientific studies there remain to be debates concerning the additions, such as iodine.
|-
| Why are there trees in the middle of fields? || Many images of fields contain singular trees in the middle of them. While there exist such trees it is likely an artistic choice to give a more pleasing or aesthetically satisfying image compared to just a field. In modern agriculture those would in fact be quite troublesome since they are a hindrance to large machines used and a new tree would be unlikely to grow in a constantly worked field, although they can be useful in fields for grazing animals, since they provide shade. Before mechanized agriculture, such trees would also be planted to give the workers a place rest in the shade without having to go all the way back from a large field.
|-
| Why is there not a Pokémon MMO? || {{w|Pokémon}} is a popular franchise, spanning game consoles, anime series, a trading card game, and many other things. Among fans, it is a frequent topic of discussion why a Pokémon {{w|massively multiplayer online game}} has not been officially announced by the series' developers {{w|Game Freak}}, as they often [http://www.dorkly.com/comic/52546/be-careful-what-you-wish-for predict] that such a game would be extremely popular, and bring in massive revenue for the company. However, if Game Freak were to develop a Pokémon MMO the MMOs would be strong competition against the console games and therefore reducing the Pokémon demographic significantly. The mobile app {{w|Pokémon Go}} has since partly filled the MMO niche, with multiplayer interactivity through item drops and fighting at gyms.
|-
|Why is there laughing in TV shows? || Sitcoms were once filmed with an audience, so the actors could respond to their reactions. That's the historical reason why there were laughs in TV shows. The tradition continues, with the difference that now the laughter mostly comes from recorded tapes. See {{w|Laugh track}}.
|-
|Why are there doors on the freeway?|| Highway/freeway {{w|noise barrier|noise barriers}} sometimes have doors in them to allow workers access to both sides of the barrier.
|-
|Why are there so many svchost.exe running?||See {{w|svchost.exe}}.
|-
| Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica? || {{w|Antarctica}} is the southern most continent and is by large covered in ice and in general pretty cold. While it is a regular target of tourists and researchers it also lacks native human inhabitants. At the moment, the territorial claims concerning Antarctica are mostly handled via the {{w|Antarctic Treaty System}}. In short there are a few countries who claim certain parts of the continent as their own in theory but so far it is considered neutral territory and most maps don't concern themselves with displaying the (in some regards disputed) territorial claims because they do not matter at this point in time. If there are ever any worthwhile resources discovered, this might change.
|-
|Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?|| To add atmosphere and to give players hints when there is a dark cave nearby. See [http://minecraft.gamepedia.com/Ambience Minecraft Wiki].
|-
|Why is there kicking in my stomach?||See ''[http://www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-movement-feeling-baby-kick Feeling Your Baby Kick]''. Here, ''stomach'' means ''abdomen''.
|-
|Why are there two slashes after http?||See ''[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1220286/Sir-Tim-Berners-Lee-admits-forward-slashes-web-address-mistake.html Sir Tim Berners-Lee admits the forward slashes in every web address 'were a mistake']''.
|-
|Why are there celebrities?||There are certain people who are more respected and well-known than other people, whether it be because of their acting career, major advancements to science, or a sex tape.
|-
|Why do snakes exist?|| The question is rather general and likely based on a widespread dislike for the reptilians. Be it due to their appearance, their spread, or the danger a few snakes pose to humans (often due to being venomous) many people have a dislike for snakes and would prefer them to not exist (similar to spiders).
In regards to "why do snakes exist on earth?": Because evolution. Snakes fill a gap in the ecosystem as predators and hunt different species, including vermin. Snakes are in that regard similar to many other predatory animals. The question on why snakes developed with their distinct streamlined shape is still debated but {{w|snakes|likely it either provided an advantage when burrowing or swimming}}.
|-
|Why do oysters have pearls?||{{w|pearl|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>Pearls are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside the shell, or an attack from outside, injuring the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation. Pearls are commonly viewed by scientists as a by-product of an adaptive immune system-like function.</blockquote>
|-
|Why are ducks called ducks?||See {{w|Duck#Etymology}}. {{Wiktionary|duck|According to Wiktionary}}, the noun ''duck'' can be traced back to the {{w|Proto-Germanic language|Proto-Germanic}} word {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Germanic/dūkaną|''dūkaną''}} ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the {{w|Proto-Indo-European language|Proto-Indo-European}} {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/dʰewb-|''dʰewb-''}} ("deep, hollow"), which is the origin of the verb ''to duck''. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.
|-
|Why do they call it the clap?||An old folk remedy for {{w|gonorrhea}} was to clap on the sides of the penis.
|-
|Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?|| The question relates to the TV show {{w|South Park}}. Both are children living in the small titular town in Colorado. Cartman is widely accepted to a be very bad person, one of his many character flaws being his antisemitism. Kyle on the other hand is a Jew. However, both, along with two other kids, Stan and Kenny, are the core focus of the show (or used to be) and to some extent are considered to be friends. While there are episodes which show Cartman being not entirely a horrible person and him holding Kyle in a position of at least a worthy adversary, most of the time the question should be "Why is anyone friends with Cartman?" However, they most likely remain "friends" because they are in the same class at school and are therefore "forced" to be around one another.
|-
|Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?||{{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender#Characters|Aang}} is the main character of the TV series {{w|Avatar the last Airbender|Avatar - The last Airbender}} and features as part of a large body spanning tattoo an arrow on his head. These tattoos are made to replicate the markings of one of the shows fictional animals, the air bison which are regarded as the original air benders. They are given to human air benders once they attain the status of masters. Because Aang acquired this status very early in life he was already tattooed accordingly.
|-
|Why are text messages blue?||This likely refers to imessage chat being blue. These messages are blue when sending a message to another apple device. When sent as an SMS message, they will be green.
|-
|Why are there mustaches on clothes?||Because some people buy them. Mustaches, especially handlebar-style mustaches, were a popular fad at the time of this comic.
|-
|Why are there mustaches on cars?||Fuzzy pink mustaches are used to designate cars in the {{w|Lyft}} service.
|-
|Why are there mustaches everywhere?||See {{w|Movember}}
|-
|Why are there so many birds in Ohio?||There are an estimated [http://oh.audubon.org/bsc/SOTB.html 400 bird species] in [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_birds_of_Ohio Ohio], but there are [http://www.jstor.org/discover/2419997sid=21104910103541&uid=4&uid=3739776&uid=2&uid=3739256 2.74 nesting pairs per acre].
|-
|Why is there so much rain in Ohio?|| {{w|lake_effect|Lake-effect}} rain develops in the same manner as lake-effect snow.
|-
|Why is Ohio weather so weird?||See {{w|Lake-effect snow}}.
|-
|}

===Section Two===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there male and female bikes? || {{w|bicycle|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>Historically, women's bicycle frames had a top tube that connected in the middle of the seat tube instead of the top, resulting in a lower {{w|Frame geometry|standover height}} at the expense of compromised structural integrity, since this places a strong bending load in the seat tube, and bicycle frame members are typically weak in bending. This design, referred to as a '''''{{w|step-through frame}}''''' or as an ''open frame'', allows the rider to mount and dismount in a dignified way while wearing a skirt or dress.</blockquote>
|-
|Why are there bridesmaids?||See {{w|Bridesmaid#Origin and history}}.
|-
|Why do dying people reach up?|| In many works of fiction dying people are regarded with an outstretched arm, grasping for unseen objects towards the sky. In all likelihood this originates in the idea of heaven as the place where (good) people go after death. People "reach for the light" which is seen when dying according to similar beliefs or possibly for already dead relatives or other associated people waiting for them. An alternative hypothesis is that they want to hug/touch their loved ones one last time.
|-
|Why aren't there varicose arteries?||Blood moves through veins due to irregular pressure from skeletal muscles combined with valves to control direction. In varicose veins these valves malfunction affecting blood flow. In arteries blood flow is produced directly from pressure caused by the heart.
|-
|Why are old Klingons different?|| {{w|Klingon Redesign|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>For {{w|Star Trek: The Motion Picture}} (1979), the Klingons were retconned and their appearance and behavior radically changed. To give the aliens a more sophisticated and threatening demeanor, the Klingons were depicted with ridged foreheads, snaggled and prominent teeth, and a defined language and alphabet. Lee Cole, a production designer, used red gels and primitive shapes in the design of Klingon consoles and ship interiors, which took on a dark and moody atmosphere. The alphabet was designed as angular, with sharp edges harkening to the Klingon's militaristic focus.[5] Costume designer Robert Fletcher created new uniforms for the Klingons, reminiscent of feudal Japanese armor.</blockquote>

Additionally, there is an in-universe explanation: A [http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Klingon_augment_virus Klingon augment virus] was deployed to make enhanced warriors, but accidentally made weaker Klingons with human-like features. These afflicted Klingons were the ones seen in the original series.

|-
|Why is programming so hard?||Programming is the art of writing instructions for a computer to do. Since the computer has a limited set of instructions for you to use it involves a new way of thinking for many. It is also hard because the computer itself is not smart or adaptable to unexpected problems. For instance when a human is told to sort books in a shelf, he or she can do that despite there might be things in the way (he or she will just move it to the side). A computer will generally just crash if it doesn't have instructions on how to deal with the unexcepted problem.
|-
|Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?|| A resistor is usually designed to create a certain resistance, measured in {{w|Ohm}} in an electronic device. A 0 Ohm resistor seems pointless as it would only provide the same resistance as a normal cable. However, Wikipedia's {{w|Zero-ohm link}} article gives sufficient explanation.
|-
|Why do Americans hate soccer? || Soccer, or football in British English, is rather unpopular in the USA compared to most other regions of the world. Finding a particular reason behind the (dis)like for certain sports, apart from cultural spread, is difficult. One possible explanation is soccer's tendency to have far fewer points scored in an average game and a higher likelihood of draws compared to such things as American Football, basketball or baseball, which are far more popular. In how far this is a legitimate argument for regarding soccer as "less interesting" is up to debate.
|-
|Why do rhymes sound good?||The brain enjoys repetition especially in music.
|-
|Why do trees die?||Some common reasons include lack of water, lack of nitrogen in the soil and being chopped down.
|-
|Why is there no sound on CNN?||Some stations broadcast a {{w|second audio program}}, an alternative sound track that your TV can be configured to use instead of the primary program. This is intended to be used for broadcasting in an alternate language, or for {{w|Descriptive Video Service}} to make a program accessible to the visually impaired. Many programs that don't actually use SAP will still broadcast an SAP that is identical to the primary program; however, this is not required. If your TV is configured to use SAP and a particular channel isn't broadcasting SAP at that time, there won't be any sound.
|-
|Why aren't Pokémon real?||Pokémon are fantasised creatures that were designed to produce an interesting battle mechanic in a game. Some of the pokémons abilities would be impossible on earth as we know it. For instance, Magcargo is hotter than the surface of the sun.<ref name="Bulbapedia Magcargo">http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Magcargo#Trivia</ref>
|-
|Why aren't bullets sharp?||See {{w|Terminal ballistics}}.
|-
|Why do dreams seem so real?|| Most dreams occur during a stage known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement). During REM, your brain is highly active and its wave pattern is the same as the wave patterns in a person who is awake. It should be noted that dreams can occur during other stages of sleep but most dreams that are vivid occur during the REM stage.
|-
|}

===Section Three===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why do testicles move?|| The scrotum shrinks and expands to account for temperature changes.
|-
| Why are there psychics?|| Because the world would be boring otherwise.
|-
| Why are hats so expensive?|| Hats can be expensive depending on the quality of material, size, location, and demand. A probable answer is that hats are simply difficult to make, causing high prices. Another likely cause is the fact that hats are not widely worn in much of the western world and people who do wear them often have far fewer than they have, for example, shirts, meaning that manufacturers cannot get the same economies of scale in production and distribution.
|-
| Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?|| Because the producers want you to believe that caffeine penetrates the hair roots and thereby somehow protects it from negative testosterone impacts and from premature hair loss.
|-
| Why do your boobs hurt?|| Common reasons are a badly-fitted bra or {{w|PMS}}. It could also be a hormone imbalance, breastfeeding, large or awkwardly shaped breasts or a serious condition such as {{w|breast cancer}}.
|}

===Section Four===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why aren't economists rich? || Economists study how society organises resources but, contrary to the popular misconception, don't focus much on the short-term behaviour of the stock market (a system that is still poorly understood). In order to become rich, in most cases one has to own a commodity that produces more wealth, such as a large company, or be related to somebody who has done so. In rare cases, a particularly lucky individual could become rich by having an unusually high paying job, such as a famous actor or sports star. Neither of these situations are likely for someone studying the field of economics. Some economists do get very rich as strategists for banks and businesses, but most are just academics and analysts.
|-
| Why do Americans call it soccer? || {{w|Association Football}} is called Soccer (short for "association") in the USA because {{w|American Football}} is the more popular version there. Of note is that the word "soccer" originates on British soil, to distinguish it from Rugby football aka "rugger".
|-
| Why are my ears ringing? || {{w|Tinnitus}}, or ringing of the ears, can result from stress, foreign objects in the ear, hearing damage, wax build up, or any other number of causes.
|-
| Why are there so many Avengers? ||The number of Avengers has [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Avengers_members varied greatly] over the years and decades, each time with its own justification for why they need to work together, but the simplest answer is money. Cross-branding and cross-merchandising is successful to the brand and brings in new readers, plus creates a new franchise to profit from.
|-
|Why are the Avengers fighting the X Men || {{w|Avengers vs. X-Men}} was a 2012 Marvel crossover event that, like many other recent comic book events, had heroes fight other heroes. In this case, the {{w|Avengers (comics)|Avengers}} and the {{w|X-Men}} fought over the {{w|Phoenix Force (comics)|Phoenix Force}}, a godlike power that often possesses {{w|Jean Grey}} or her descendants (in this case, her alternate universe daughter Hope Summers). The Avengers believed the Phoenix Force is too powerful for humanity to control and wanted to contain it, while the X-Men believed the Phoenix was the messiah for mutants and could fix all of the Earth's problems.
|-
|Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers || Wolverine ''has'' been an Avenger, in some circumstances. e.g. in the {{w|The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes}} cartoon series, the episode ''New Avengers'' had Wolverine (along with Spiderman, War Machine, The Thing and Luke Cage and Iron Fist) substitute while the 'original' Avengers were unavailable to deal with the current crisis (which of course included the fate of the 'proper' Avengers). However, in general his anti-authority personality makes him a difficult team-member to field, and he has frequently disassociated himself even from the X-Men. But, in Avengers vs. X-Men (see above) Wolverine ''sided'' with The Avengers, and more modern treatments have even included the character in about as much a permanent a membership of the group as Logan is ever likely to have.

But if the question is about why Wolverine didn't appear in {{w|The Avengers (2012 film)|''The Avengers''}}, the answer is that ''The Avengers'' is being produced by Marvel/Disney, while Fox still has the rights to the X-Men and all Marvel mutants in general. Unless there is studio agreement, the two properties cannot cross, except through complicated machinations. For example, there are plans to bring Avengers mainstays Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch to both the ''Avengers'' and ''X-Men'' franchises, but only the Fox films have the right to call them the children of Magneto, and Marvel/Disney cannot even identify them on-screen as "mutants".
|}

===Section Five===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
|Why are there ants in my laptop? || Ants usually come in your laptop when there are little crumbs of food. It is advised to get screen protectors.
|-
| Why is Earth tilted? || The Earth's axial "tilt", wherein its axis of rotation is not perpendicular it its orbit, is a result of conservation of momentum when the Earth was formed, because not everything orbits in the same way. This is pure happenstance.
|-
| Why is space black? || What we call black is the absence of light. Space is mostly empty, and although there are many stars, the light from most of these stars hasn't reached us yet. In addition, a lot of light has been stretched by {{w|redshift}} so it's no longer visible to us. See {{w|Olbers' paradox}}
|-
| Why is outer space so cold? || It's hard to actually define a temperature for space - it's empty, so there's nothing to measure. However, most of space has very little radiation hitting it, so a person won't receive any energy, but will still radiate some away, resulting in a net loss of energy, colloquially "heat." Around the Earth, objects in direct sunlight will actually get very hot. In deep space, there is almost no warming radiation.
|-
| Why are there pyramids on the moon? || There are no pyramids on the moon. However, the appearance of mountains and some craters on the moon have fooled some into believing there are pyramids on the moon, but these claims are false.
|-
| Why is NASA shutting down? ||NASA isn't shutting down. This question might have something to do with the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_federal_government_shutdown_of_2013 Government Shutdown of 2013] or perhaps due to the then-current shuttle program ending, but that is not the entirety of NASA.
|}

===Section <s>Spider</s> Six===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there tiny spiders in my house?
|rowspan="6"|During autumn in particular male spiders reaching maturing will set off to find a mate. By chance they may end up in your house. When encountering spiders in large numbers, it is more likely that they are young from the same female spider. Females lay {{w|Spider#Reproduction_and_life_cycle|up to 3,000}} eggs at a time. These questions also plays off of Munroe's longstanding fear of spiders, especially the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/8:_Red_spiders red spiders] mentioned in [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Red_Spiders several early comics].
|-
| Why do spiders come inside?
|-
| Why are there huge spiders in my house?
|-
| Why are there lots of spiders in my house?
|-
| Why are there spiders in my room?
|-
| Why are there so many spiders in my room?
|-
| Why do spider bites itch? ||This mostly happens as an immune response to [http://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/why-do-mosquito-bites-itch histamines] under the skin which are injected through saliva.
|-
| Why is dying so scary? ||Part of human nature is the fear of the unknown, and death is the ultimate unknown because it is not knowable until it's experienced, and there is nobody to report what the result was. This leaves it open to speculation, and many major religions are based on preparing ones soul for death. Also, dying would leave loved ones families with the responsibility of taking care of their remains and finances. And finally, most people don't want to die, living for as long as possible, possibly because the unknown is too unbearable to cope with. Still though several people are not afraid of death and dying, and recognize life is short and to cherish each moment while we can. Death is inevitable, so we should not fear it. In addition, it would be evolutionarily advantageous for our ancestors to have feared and avoided death.
|-
| Why is there no GPS in laptops? ||It is not impossible for laptops to have a GPS, and some do. But there are [http://security.stackexchange.com/questions/50907/are-there-gps-tracker-for-laptops design difficulties] that have to be overcome including battery draining, room within the crowded device to place a receiver, WiFi can give a location just as well, and the product casing could interfere with its ability to functional normally and receive the signals necessary to operate as intended. Some Dell computers have these, but the privacy one needs to give up to accept the terms and conditions makes it unfavorable.
|-
| Why do knees click? || Typical of other clicking and cracking of joints, this may be the sound of [http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/knee-pain/features/knee-cracks-pops ligaments tightening]. However do not rely on a wiki to diagnose a medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.
|-
|-
| Why aren't there E grades? ||E grades [http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/e-f-grading-scale/ actually exist] in some districts, but they are rare. In their long and bizarre history, E was originally used where F is today (E was the lowest grade), but in those systems, students often received E's for an "Excellent" grade, creating much confusion. F was used in place instead and E was eliminated from a standard grading scale.
|-
| Why is isolation bad? ||Isolation is when a person deliberately secludes themselves away from others, often far-removed from society. This can happen in locations as small as a city apartment and as large as the open woods. People evolved as social animals and it is generally held that those who isolate themselves suffer from depression or other forms of psychological imbalance. Of course society can trigger many of these imbalances causing an individual to isolate themselves. Isolation is often seen as therapeutic so people can spend time with themselves constructively, often finding peace within themselves and through mediation. Monks and hermits generally live in solitude as well. Many people view a decision to be isolated as noble, and others as healthy. While general interaction is largely healthy, in the crowded modern world, isolation is neither good or bad; it depends on the person and what that isolation does to them.
|-
| Why do boys like me? ||Attraction comes in many forms: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, among others. Many people will lie about what they like about you to get something else (money, sex, etc.), but most are genuine. It is not possible to assert definitively why one person may like another person, and that is something that needs to be discussed openly and honestly with them and nobody else.
|-
| Why don't boys like me? ||Similar to the answer above about what makes one desirable to another, there are an equal number of factors that make one unappealing. This can include everything from physical appearance to how one treats others. If a person is rude and unfriendly, most people find that not-conducive to healthy relationship and avoid the person who is asking. Not being liked by someone you like however does not mean you're wrong or are a bad person and in most cases has to do with the person you are asking about.
|-
| Why is there always a Java update? ||[https://www.java.com/en/download/faq/whatis_java.xml Java] is a software that runs on most computers and mobile devices that is crucial to its security and stability. The reason why it always updates is because it needs to stay current with the ever-upgrading fleet of browsers, operating systems and software that supports Java. Additionally Java updates itself so each version can run optimally. Software coding and debugging is a never-ending process towards perfectly stable releases.
|-
| Why are there red dots on my thighs? || This might be [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petechia Petechia], which are broken blood vessels, however do not rely on a wiki to diagnose medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.
|-
| Why is lying good? ||Lying and other forms of dishonesty is typically seen as bad because it lowers one's credibility and makes them less likely to be trusted in the future. It is almost always advantageous to tell the truth, as lies have a way of escalating as you need to keep expanding on the lie to cover your tracks. There are instances however where lying may be used in more noble circumstances. For example, if a friend asks your opinion on something they have made (such as a poem or painting) that you do not like, it is okay to tell them you like it because protecting their feelings and your relationship is more important than how you feel. Often military personnel are trained to keep national security secrets at all costs and will lie about what they know to save themselves and the country.
|}

===Section Seven===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there slaves in the bible? ||Slavery was viewed differently in the early years of human civilization before the contemporary moral and ethical conversations began centuries later. The Jewish legal system as presented in the bible {{w|The Bible and slavery|justified slavery}} for a number of reasons, notably to pay off some sort of debt. Slaves were seen as property and their work provided value to the slave owner, but such a relationship was legally required to be temporary and slaves had some basic human rights. Similarly slave owners rationalized their ownership through scripture, pointing out that it was in the Bible and therefore okay with God — without wishing to go off on a tangent, if you have to rationalize your system of slavery then it's probably illegal under historic Jewish law.
|-
| Why do twins have different fingerprints? || Fingerprints are not only from the DNA, but from the conditions in the womb which differ from child to child.
|-
| Why are Americans afraid of dragons? ||This question was the title of a [http://blogs.sfu.ca/courses/spring2012/engl387/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Why-are-Americans-Afraid-of-Dragons.docx 1974 essay] by Ursula K. LeGeuin in which she makes a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semiotics semiotic] analysis of dragon mythology. She argues that our belief in dragons (and those outside of America as well) stems from childhood, much like other ferocious fictional creatures such as goblins and hobbits, but many hold onto these fears as a way of avoiding reality. In her closing argument, she writes, "They know that its truth challenges, even threatens, all that is false, all that is phony, unnecessary, and trivial in the life they have let themselves be forced into living. They are afraid of dragons, because they are afraid of freedom."
|-
| Why is HTTPS crossed out in red? || The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate.
|-
| Why is there a line through HTTPS? || The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate.
|-
| Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook? || Facebook has an invalid SSL certificate.
|-
| Why is HTTPS important? || For security reasons, as a site with HTTPS has encrypted traffic.
|}

===Section Eight===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there swarms of gnats? || The reason gnats (and other creatures) tend to swarm together is likely a safety-in-numbers protection, and as a big gathering to find a mate.
|-
| Why is there phlegm? ||{{w|Phlegm#Phlegm|Phlegm}} is a thick, viscous fluid produced by the mucus membranes as a way to clear the airway and aids in the release of bacteria, disease and debris in those passages.
|-
| Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN || From a Minnesota Paper, [http://www.startribune.com/local/138902104.html the Star Tribune], "Laws prevent the city from poisoning the crows". "Duffy [ {{w|Steve Duffy}}, a co-owner of U.S. Bird Abatement Services, which has contracted with Rochester to get rid of the crows] isn't sure why Rochester has such a bad crow problem; probably a confluence of many bird-friendly conditions that has also made it a magnet for {{w|geese}}. He's seen worse cases, but called Rochester's situation 'hideous.'" And best of all, "The city has twice this winter hired experts to chase them off. They tried {{w|lasers}} and bullhorns — hey, get out of here, you crows — and even employed raptors to pick them off, one by one. That worked, for awhile." Unfortunately, they mean a {{w|bird of prey}}, not a {{w|velociraptor}}.
|-
| Why is Psychic weak to Bug || In Pokémon, Pokémon of the psychic type like Mr. Mime are weak to three types of attacks: Ghost, Dark, and Bug. The general theory is that Psychic Pokémon, relying heavily on their thoughts for attacks, are weak to fears, which ghosts, darkness, and bugs can be classified as.
|-
| Why do children get cancer? ||{{w|Cancer}} is an aggressive and often fatal disease that has the potential to affect all humans as well as other organisms. There are multiple types of cancer, each with their own epidemiology, but children are not immune to succumbing to the horrific effects of the disease. Children are human beings and are subject to the same illnesses adults have, regardless of age, or their innocence. There is no divine or supernatural explanation for this. Simply put, life is a battle for all humans regardless of how small they are.
|-
| Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus? || {{w|Poseidon}} was the patron deity of the city of {{w|Troy}}, which after a 10 years siege by the Greeks fell due to {{w|Odysseus}}' list of the {{w|Trojan_Horse|Trojan horse}}. As the Greeks were returning home after the Trojan War, Oddyseus' ship accidentally landed on the island home of the cyclops Polyphemus, who imprisoned the crew and ate many of them. In order to escape, Odysseus blinded the cyclops. Poseidon, Polyphemus' father, was extremely angered by his son being blinded, so he cursed Odysseus' ship to prevent him from reaching his home in {{W|Ithaca}}. The adventures which Odysseus encountered during his quest for reaching Ithaca are the main theme of {{w|Homer|Homer's}} {{w|Odyssey}} The Odyssey also says that before sailing, the crew forgot to offer a sacrifice as was ordained.
|-
| Why is there ice in space? || Space is {{w|Outer_space#Environment|Cold}}. The background radiation, which is used to measure the temperature of space's vacuum, is estimated at about 3K (−270 °C; −454 °F). Water freezes at 273.15 K (0 °C; 32 °F). Because the temperature in space is less than the freezing point of water, liquids freeze in space, turning into ice.
|}

===Section <s>Owl</s> Nine===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why is there an owl in my back yard? || Owls can be seen all over the world, and live in a wide variety of habitats. They are mainly noctural, and spend a large portion of the night hunting. The owl in your back yard is likely looking for food.
|-
| Why is there an owl outside my window? || As with the question above, the owl is likely to be hunting for food.
|-
| Why is there an owl on the dollar bill? || On the front of a dollar bill, near the upper right '1' is a tiny section of the design which can be seen to represent an owl. Conspiracy theorists will note that owls were symbolically linked to the Masons, while others will instead see a spider.
|-
| Why do owls attack people? || While owls and human often live in close proximity without problems, as with other species, owls may attack if they feel threatened. When people irritate or otherwise make owls feel unsafe, they retaliate with violence to protect themselves.
|-
| Why are AK47s so expensive? || The market value of an AK47 varies depending on where in the world you live. With strict gun control laws, obtaining an AK47 in the UK is likely to be more expensive due to the risks involved for those supplying the weapon. In ex-soviet countries and the middle east, AK47s are more plentiful, and hence the price is likely to be lower.
|-
| Why are there helicopters circling my house? ||People living in high-crime areas will often hear helicopters circling, especially at night, when police use the helicopter's searchlight to locate and track suspects, or to light a crime scene. Those Googling this question might be wondering if a dangerous fugitive is nearby, or what else may be going on. Alternately, this question may be a joke because it is so incongruous to the others in this section. The joke is that people would be Googling about owls attacking people and assault rifle prices, which could, ostensibly alert authorities to come to your house to arrest you.
|}

===Section Ten===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are there gods? || Gods and goddesses are part of mythology and folklore that are used to give spiritual guidance as well as explanations for phenomena that are yet unexplained by natural processes.
|-
|Why are there two Spocks? || This is probably a reference to the {{w|Star_Trek_(film)|2009 Star Trek movie}} in which the franchise was given a {{w|Reboot_(fiction)|continuity reboot}}. The modified setting is explained in-universe by time travel, with both the villain Nero and the original-timeline Spock being brought back from the 24th century to the 23rd, creating a timeline in which both older Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) and the younger Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) coexist.

Another possibility is that the question refers to the episode {{w|Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|"Mirror, Mirror"}}, which mostly takes place in an alternate universe populated by ruthless versions of most of the characters (including Spock).
|-
| Why is Mt Vesuvius there? ||The simple answer is that volcanoes are created by interactions where the Earth's tectonic plates meet. These conditions only exist in a few places on Earth. The question could also be asking, "why is Mt Vesuvius near such a heavily populated area?" Humans have lived near Vesuvius throughout history, due to its pleasant climate, rich soil, and proximity to other major cities. The Italian government [http://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/jun/05/italy.sophiearie offers generous cash incentives] to move people away from the danger zone, but finds few takers.This question could also be a reference to mountaineer {{w|George Mallory}}'s famous answer as to why he wanted to climb Mount Everest: "Because it's there."
|-
| Why do they say T minus? || Time before the launch of a spacecraft is denoted as T minus because the launch has not happened yet. Any time after the launched is stated without the minus, for example T 3 seconds, so time before the launch can be seen as "minus" time. The T stands for "Test" or "Time".
|-
| Why are there obelisks? || {{w|Obelisk}} article has more
|-
| Why are wrestlers always wet? || Professional wrestling is strenuous activity, whether its fake or not. Strenuous activity results in sweat, giving the bodyan appearance of being wet. Greco-roman wrestling and Turkish Oil Wrestling both involve oiling the body, giving a similar appearance.
|-
| Why are oceans becoming more acidic? || Due to the higher amount of carbon dioxide on the atmosphere, which dissolves in the oceans turning into carbonic acid - CO2+H2O=H2CO3 (see {{w|Ocean acidification}})
|-
| Why is Arwen dying? || {{w|Elf (Middle-Earth)#Death|Elves}} can die from grief .
|-
| Why aren't my quail laying eggs? || Have you tried turning them off and on again?
|-
| Why aren't my quail eggs hatching? || Problems in incubation, probably.
|-
|Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America? || ''Further information: {{w|United States military deployments}}''This is a very interesting question, albeit one likely based on a regional misunderstanding. Presumably, this question is asked by Americans who assume that the existence of {{w|Category:Military facilities of the United States by country|U.S. military bases abroad}} is a general trend among countries, as opposed to being the rarity that it is. In fact, {{w|List of countries with overseas military bases|only a handful of other countries}} have military bases outside of their borders, and the three—{{w|France}}, the {{w|United Kingdom}}, and {{w|Russia}}—that have more than one or two are all countries that, like the United States, {{w|Allies of World War II|were on the winning side of World War II}}, have {{w|List of countries by military expenditures|massive military expenditures}}, and have {{w|United Nations Security Council veto power|UN Security Council vetoes}}. In other words, only the most militarily elite countries have bases overseas. The U.S. is unique, however, in that it has far more overseas bases than any other country (and, pretty much, far more of anything else than any other country, when it comes to the military), and in that {{w|List of United States military bases|it has bases in several other highly-industrialized nations}}, including {{w|List of United States Army installations in South Korea|South Korea}} and the United Kingdom, and, most notably, the World War II {{w|Axis powers}}: {{w|List of United States Army installations in Germany|Germany}}, {{w|United States Forces Japan|Japan}}, and {{w|List of United States Army installations in Italy|Italy}}. France, Russia, and the U.K.'s bases, on the other hand, are almost all within areas that they previously controlled.These bases can be controversial in some countries, while in others they are a major source of economic and political stability. The U.S. traditionally justifies their presence as a necessary and crucial element in its efforts to promote peace domestically and worldwide. Despite their major role in {{w|U.S. foreign policy}}, and in the general political structure of the globe, the American public often largely ignores them, and they rarely become a major political issue (apart from an occasional mention by {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian presidential candidates}}).So, essentially, the absence of foreign military bases within the U.S. is primarily because there aren't really any other countries in a position to place bases there. Ironically, although no battles in the traditional sense have been fought within the U.S. since the {{w|U.S. Civil War}} and the U.S. mainland has seen {{w|Mainland invasion of the United States|almost no military action}}, foreign air force bases might have been useful on September 11, 2001. (The {{w|attack on Pearl Harbor}} in 1941 was 18 years before Hawaii became a U.S. state, but Hawaii was still a fundamental part of the United States as it was an incorporated territory.)There are, however, foreign troops stationed at some continental US military bases. For example, RAF (British Royal Air Force) 39 Sqn and 361 Sqn at Creech Air Force Base in Nevada flying Reaper and Predator drones. But this are not foreign military bases, they are just guests.
|}

===Section Eleven===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why are my boobs itchy? ||It could be anything from dry skin to a rare life-threatening disease. Could also be related to pregnancy, PMS, or puberty. [http://www.just-health.net/Itchy-Breast.html Here's a thorough list] of possible causes and remedies.
|-
| Why are cigarettes legal? ||Despite the obvious detrimental affects nicotine has on health, like caffeine and alcohol, it is easy to regulate. Substances like marijuana and other drugs are mainly illegal because the government and regulatory agencies have no control over their production and distribution and therefore cannot profit from it. Nicotine however, which is the key ingredient in tobacco can be regulated and taxed and is.
|-
| Why are there ducks in my pool? ||Most likely, they're looking for a place to mate. Which means you'll soon have baby ducks in your pool. Most migratory birds are protected by wildlife laws, so you want to prevent them from moving into your pool in the first place. The [http://www.dfwwildlife.org/duck.html DFW Wildlife Coalition] has some tips.
|-
| Why is Jesus white? ||This is an ethnocentric viewpoint that varies throughout cultures. In African cultures he is portrayed as black. In short, whatever culture he is introduced to, those inhabitants will have him fit their own image.
|-
| Why is there liquid in my ear? ||[http://www.healthline.com/symptom/discharge-from-ear It's called otorrhea], and can be caused by infection, trauma, or changes in pressure. A common cause is [http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/swimmers-ear/basics/definition/con-20014723 Swimmer's ear], an infection of the outer ear canal.
|-
| Why do Q tips feel good? ||The inner ear contains [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erectile_tissue erectile tissue] (as does your inner nose which is why sneezing feels good) so you are massing tissue which gets aroused upon stimulation.
|-
| Why do good people die? ||Everybody dies, no matter how good or bad they were. But sometimes if people are really bad they are made to die sooner. (But loved ones and ones who were known to make memorable or valuable contributions are mourned and revered more than a person who has left much pain to others as their legacy; we remember the good ones and so it hurts more.)
|-
| Why are ultrasounds important? ||Ultrasound scans provide a great deal of information about a fetus, thus increasing the chances of a healthy birth. They have many other medical uses.
|-
| Why are ultrasound machines expensive? ||As hospital equipment goes, ultrasound machines are actually a bargain. [http://www.costowl.com/healthcare/healthcare-ultrasound-machine-costs.html A new ultrasound machine] costs about $20,000-$75,000, depending on features. Comparable devices are much more expensive: The [http://info.blockimaging.com/bid/84432/CT-Scanner-Price-Guide CT scanner] runs $90,000-$250,000, while the [http://www.ehow.com/about_4731161_much-do-mri-machines-cost.html MRI machine] easily goes over a million.
|-
| Why is stealing wrong? ||Stealing is theft and it is illegal. Taking something that is not yours without permission or payment hurts the livelihood of other individuals as well as damages their trust in others.
|}

===Vertical Questions===
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why is there hell if god forgives? ||There is not a single answer to this question. The answer varies based on the religion and that religion's sect mixed with personal interpretations of that religions scripture and how a person decides to follow it. However the idea of what Hell will be like also varies. There is no one answer to this question, but the easiest explanation is that the individual did not pray hard enough, correctly, was not part of the right religion, and their forgiveness was contingent on something that the person either did not do or know to do (or say or think)
|-
| Why do iguanas die? ||All living things die, but iguanas may suffer from [http://www.anapsid.org/iguana/kidneyfailure.html kidney failure].
|-
| Why is GPS free? || GPS was originally developed by the U.S. military for its own use, not for commercial purposes. However, the government realized that free GPS would have a significant bonus for the economy and would prevent disasters like the {{w|Korean Air Lines Flight 007}} where a plane was shot down after accidentally entering Soviet airspace, and in 1983 President Reagan declared that the US would make GPS available to all. At one point, "{{w|selective availability}}" was used to degrade performance for civilian users, but since 2000 this has also been switched off.
|-
| Why are trees tall? ||Tall is a relative term, and Redwoods are famous for their height - among the tallest in the world. The reason for this is, in part [http://www.nps.gov/redw/faqs.htm climate, fog, rain, good soil, few predators, among others].
|-
|Why are there female Mr. Mimes? || {{w|Mr. Mime}} is a Pokémon introduced in the first generation of the games, and despite its name, it can be either of a male or female gender. As the Pokémon was introduced before the concept of [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gender gender in Pokémon games], it is likely that the people in charge of translating its Japanese name (Barrierd) did not take this into account during the process.
|-
| Why is there lava? ||{{w|Lava}} is magma (molten rock) which is at the Earth's surface. Magma in the Earth comes from the melting of rock due to rising heat from deeper within the planet. {{w|Earth's internal heat budget|This heat}} is about half radiogenic and half primordial (left over from the formation and differentiation of the Earth). Most of the crust and mantle of the Earth is solid rock, but in places (usually controlled by plate tectonics, but {{w|Hawaii hotspot|not always}}) where the heat is high enough the minerals with lowest melting point start to melt and then migrate upwards towards the surface. This melt collects in {{w|Magma chamber|magma chambers}}, in which the magma may start to cool and crystallize. Sometimes it will crystallize completely, becoming an underground solid body called a pluton. Other times melt will keep migrating upwards until it reaches the surface and erupts as lava, forming a {{w|volcano}} or undersea vent.
|-
| Why is YKK on all zippers? || {{w|YKK}} Group is the name of a large group of Japanese manufacturing companies, which among other things manufacture a lot of zippers. YKK zippers are also considered to be some of the best available, so a clothing maker including a YKK zipper would likely leave the YKK name on, instead of getting no branding or rebranding them.
|-
| Why is life so boring? ||It is up to an individual to find meaning and interest in life. Monotony, predictability and lack of physical and intellectual stimulation would lead to a feeling of boredom.
|-
| Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts? ||Ghosts are a supernatural phenomenon that have not been empirically proven to exist. Those who believe in ghosts implicitly believe in a soul (of which a ghost is a materialization of), and it is a commonly held belief by religious institutions and ghost-hunters that animals do not have souls and thus dinosaurs would not have any either.
|-
|Why is there no king in England? || ''Note: For simplicity's sake, "England" here is being read as "United Kingdom." The various name changes, mergers, and splits of kingdoms are complicated.''The basis for this question is that for the past several hundred years, there has almost always been a queen in England, the sole exceptions being when the king has not had a wife. However, there is a distinction between being the queen of England (that is to say, {{w|List of British monarchs|a monarch}}) and being the {{w|queen consort|queen ''consort''}} of England: The former refers to a woman who {{w|Succession to the British throne|succeeded to the throne}} in her own right, becoming sovereign, while the latter refers to the wife of the king. Both roles, though, are commonly referred to as "Queen of England," creating the impression that there is always such a person. The logical question, therefore, is why {{w|Elizabeth II}}'s husband, {{w|Prince Philip|Philip}}, is not considered the king of England. The answer lies in Britain's system of {{w|male-preference cognatic primogeniture}}, which causes the monarch of England to usually be a man, not a woman. As a result of this, British laws were generally built around the presumption that the monarch would be a man, and that said man would be married to a woman, [[223: Valentine's Day|comic 223]] be damned. Since the creation of the modern British throne in 1707, only two women have reigned as queen in their own right; it just so happens that these two women have been two of the most famous and longest-reigning monarchs in world history, {{w|Queen Victoria}} and Queen Elizabeth II. This fact may add to people's enhanced perception of the lack of a British king. Victoria and Elizabeth's respective consorts, {{w|Albert, Prince Consort|Albert}} and Philip, have been styled as princes—Albert as {{w|Prince Consort}} and Philip as "{{w|British prince|Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland}}." Both were explicitly granted their titles by their wives, though Albert was already a prince of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, and Philip had previously been a prince of Denmark and Greece, but had renounced both titles before marrying Elizabeth.The title {{w|king consort}} also exists, but has never been used in the United Kingdom.Notably, should {{w|Prince Charles}} succeed to his mother's throne, it has been announced that his wife, {{w|Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall|Camilla}}, will be styled as {{w|princess consort}}, ''not'' as queen consort, just as she has declined the title {{w|Princess of Wales}}, which is strongly associated with Charles's first wife, {{w|Princess Diana|Diana}}. Assuming that Charles succeeds, this means that Britain will not have anyone referred to as "queen," after decades of not having anyone referred to as "king."
|-
| Why do I feel dizzy? ||Balance is achieved from fluids in the inner-ear, but [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dizziness#Epidemiology dizziness] can have nearly a dozen causes.
|-
| Why are dogs afraid of fireworks? ||Loud noises can trigger their flight or fight responses when they are [http://www.cesarsway.com/dogbehavior/hyperdog/How-to-Keep-Your-Dog-Safe-and-Calm-During-Fireworks nervous].
|-
| Why are there weeks? || Weeks were originally important for religious reasons, primarily the requirement to observe a sabbath (day of rest) every seventh day. Today it is used to create a common schedule that doesn't change due to month length, much like the months divide a year to be able to schedule things like dentist appointments. Similarly, hours and minutes divide a day making it possible to create a schedule.
|}

==See also==
http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1l3na7/questions/cbvigrd, answers to all the questions.

==References==
<references/>

==Transcript==
:[This strip is a rectangular word cloud, titled 'Questions found in Google autocomplete'. Embedded in the cloud are 5 single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks.]

:Questions found in Google Autocomplete

:Why do whales jump
:Why are witches green
:Why are there mirrors above beds
:Why do I say uh
:Why is sea salt better
:Why are there trees in the middle of fields
:Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
:Why is there laughing in TV shows
:Why are there doors on the freeway
:Why are there so many svchost.exe running
:Why aren't there any countries in antarctica
:Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
:Why is there kicking in my stomach
:Why are there two slashes after HTTP
:Why are there celebrities
:Why do snakes exist
:Why do oysters have pearls
:Why are ducks called ducks
:Why do they call it the clap
:Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
:Why is there an arraow on Aang's head
:Why are text messages blue
:Why are there mustaches on clothes
:Why are there mustaches on cars
:Why are there mustaches everywhere
:Why are there so many birds in Ohio
:Why is there so much rain in Ohio
:Why is Ohio weather so weird
:Why are there male and female bikes
:Why are there bridesmaids
:Why do dying people reach up
:Why aren't there varicose arteries
:Why are old Klingons different
:Why is programming so hard
:Why is there a 0 ohm resistor
:Why do Americans hate soccer
:Why do rhymes sound good
:Why do trees die
:Why is there no sound on CNN
:Why aren't Pokemon real
:Why aren't bullets sharp
:Why do dreams seem so real
:Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
:Why do iguanas die
:Why do testicles move
:Why are there psychics
:Why are hats so expensive
:Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
:Why do your boobs hurt
:Why aren't economists rich
:Why do Americans call it soccer
:Why are my ears ringing
:Why are there so many Avengers
:Why are the Avengers fighting the X men
:Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
:Why are there ants in my laptop
:Why is Earth tilted
:Why is space black
:Why is outer space so cold
:Why are there pyramids on the moon
:Why is NASA shutting down
:Why is there Hell if God forgives
:Why are there tiny spiders in my house
:Why do spiders come inside
:Why are there huge spiders in my house
:Why are there lots of spiders in my house
:Why are there spiders in my room
:Why are there so many spiders in my room
:Why do spider bites itch
:Why is dying so scary
:Why is there no GPS in laptops
:Why do knees click
:Why aren't there E grades
:Why is isolation bad
:Why do boys like me
:Why don't boys like me
:Why is there always a Java update
:Why are there red dots on my thighs
:Why is lying good
:Why is GPS free
:Why are trees tall
:Why are there slaves in the Bible
:Why do twins have different fingerprints
:Why are Americans afraid of dragons
:Why is there lava
:Why are there swarms of gnats
:Why is there phlegm
:Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
:Why is psychic weak to bug
:Why do children get cancer
:Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
:Why is there ice in space
:Why are there female Mr Mimes
:Why is there an owl in my backyard
:Why is there an owl outside my window
:Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
:Why do owls attack people
:Why are AK47s so expensive
:Why are there helicopters circling my house
:Why are there gods
:Why are there two Spocks
:Why is Mt Vesuvius there
:Why do they say T minus
:Why are there obelisks
:Why are wrestlers always wet
:Why are oceans becoming more acidic
:Why is Arwen dying
:Why aren't my quail laying eggs
:Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
:Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America
:Why is life so boring
:Why are my boobs itchy
:Why are cigarettes legal
:Why are there ducks in my pool
:Why is Jesus white
:Why is there liquid in my ear
:Why do Q tips feel good
:Why do good people die
:Why are ultrasounds important
:Why are ultrasound machines expensive
:Why is stealing wrong
:Why is YKK on all zippers
:Why is HTTPS crossed out in red
:Why is there a line through HTTPS
:Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook
:Why is HTTPS important
:Why are there weeks
:Why do I feel dizzy
:Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
:Why is there no king in England

:[We see Cueball from the torso up, with arms outstretched.]
:Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing

:[Megan stands with a grey ghost on either side of her.]
:Megan: Why are there ghosts

:[Beret Guy stands, looking at a squirrel.]
:Beret Guy: Why are there squirrels

:[Cueball stands.]
:Cueball: Why is sex so important.

:[We see Ponytail from the torso up.]
:Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]

1185: Ineffective Sorts

2018-04-30T18:02:51Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 1185
| date = March 13, 2013
| title = Ineffective Sorts
| image = ineffective_sorts.png
| titletext = StackSort connects to StackOverflow, searches for 'sort a list', and downloads and runs code snippets until the list is sorted.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic gives examples of four non-functional {{w|sorting algorithm}}s written in {{w|Pseudocode|pseudo}}-{{w|Python (programming language)|Python}}.

The first sort is an unfinished {{w|merge sort}}. The merge sort works recursively by dividing a list in half and performing a merge sort to each half. After the two halves are sorted, they are merged, taking advantage of the fact that the two halves are now in correct order and thus the merge can be done efficiently. The author of the merge sort in the comic appears to have given up on writing the sorted-merge part of the sort, which is why it's a ''{{Wiktionary|half-hearted}}'' merge sort, but instead concatenates the halves without sorting. In its current state, the sort would divide the list into elements of size one, then recombine them in their original unsorted order, but in nested lists - making the original data more difficult to work with. The author acknowledges this failing with the comment "Ummmmm... Here. Sorry."

The second sort is an "optimized" variant of {{w|bogosort}}. A standard bogosort works by randomly shuffling the elements in the list until they are sorted. In a comment, the author points out that this variant of bogosort runs in O(n log(n)), whereas standard bogosorts actually run in expected O(n·n!) time but may never finish. This variant of bogosort finishes so much faster because in most cases it does not actually sort the list, instead reporting a fictitious error in the operating system (a "kernel page fault") if the list isn't ordered after shuffling log(n) times. The bogosort is "optimized" because no comparison sort algorithm can possibly do better than O(n log(n)) in the worst case.

The third sort parodies a programmer explaining a {{w|quicksort}} during a job interview. The quicksort works by choosing an index as a pivot value and sorting all elements less than the pivot before the pivot and all the elements greater than the pivot after the pivot. It then does a quicksort to the section less than the pivot and the section greater than the pivot until the whole list is sorted. The interviewee flounders for a little while, then asks whether they can use the standard libraries to call a quicksort. Using the standard library's quicksort would allow the programmer to successfully execute a quicksort, but would not demonstrate that they understand how it works.

The final sort is just a mess. First it checks to see if the list is sorted, and exits if it is. Then it rotates the list by a random amount 10,000 times (as if cutting a deck of cards) and exits if the list is ever sorted. Next, in desperation, it checks if the list is sorted three times. Finally, realizing that they have no chance of success, the author performs the computer equivalent of a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RageQuit Rage Quit] and attempts to destroy the computer rather than admit defeat. First, the program attempts to schedule a shutdown of the computer in five seconds, then attempts to delete the current directory, then attempts to delete the user's home directory (presumably the grader's files), and finally all the files on the computer. {{w|rm (Unix)|rm}} is a POSIX command; the -r and -f flags mean that the remove command will remove all contents of the specified directories and will not prompt the user beforehand. Under the guise of "{{w|Software portability|portability}}", the program runs the equivalent Windows {{w|rmdir|rd}} command with switches to delete all files from the "C:" drive without prompting. Finally, the program returns a list containing the numbers one through five in order.

In the title text, {{w|StackOverflow}} ([http://stackoverflow.com/ link]) is a question-and-answer site where programmers can ask and answer questions on programming. The author of this code takes advantage of the hopes that someone on StackOverflow knows what they are doing and has posted code to sort a list... ''and somebody [http://gkoberger.github.com/stacksort/ implemented stacksort]; well, sort of.''

==Transcript==
:'''Ineffective sorts'''
define HalfheartedMergeSort(list):
if length(list)<2:
return list
pivot=int(length(list)/2)
a=HalfheartedMergeSort(list[:pivot])
b=HalfheartedMergeSort(list[pivot:])
// ummmmm
return [a,b] // Here. Sorry.

define FastBogoSort(list):
// An optimized BogoSort
// Runs in O(n log n)
for n from 1 to log(length(list)):
shuffle(list):
if isSorted(list):
return list
return "Kernel Page Fault (Error code: 2)"

define JobInterviewQuicksort(list):
Ok so you choose a pivot
Then divide the list in half
for each half:
check to see if it's sorted
no, wait, it doesn't matter
compare each element to the pivot
the bigger ones go in a new list
the equal ones go into, uh
the second list from before
hang on, let me name the lists
this is list A
the new one is list B
put the big ones into list B
now take the second list
call it list, uh, A2
which one was the pivot in?
scratch all that
it just recursively calls itself
until both lists are empty
right?
not empty, but you know what I mean
am I allowed to use the standard libraries?

define PanicSort(list):
if isSorted(list):
return list
for n from 1 to 10000:
pivot=random(0,length(list))
list=list[pivot:]+list[:pivot]
if isSorted(list):
return list
if isSorted(list):
return list:
if isSorted(list): //this can't be happening
return list
if isSorted(list): //come on come on
return list
// oh jeez
// i'm gonna be in so much trouble
list=[]
system("shutdown -h +5")
system("rm -rf ./")
system("rm -rf ~/*")
system("rm -rf /")
system("rd /s /q C:\*") //portability
return [1,2,3,4,5]

== Trivia ==

* [https://xkcd.com/about/ xkcd's ''about'' section] has an FAQ about sorting algorithms. It mentions both quicksort and job interviews.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Programming]]

1692: Man Page

2018-04-30T18:00:55Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 1692
| date = June 10, 2016
| title = Man Page
| image = man_page.png
| titletext = For even more info, see blarbl(2)(3) and birb(3ahhaha I'm kidding, just Google it like a normal person.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic shows a {{w|Unix}} manual page, i.e. a ''{{w|man page}}'' (hence the title), for a fictional program called "[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blerp blerp]". Unix man pages are meant to provide a brief reference on the usage of a command, not extended explanations with tutorials as may be found in many hardcopy product manuals. Unfortunately, some Unix commands tend to be very bloated and include lots of optional behavior that is often irrelevant to the original intent of the command and can be done much more easily using shell features like piping and redirection, and thus the manpage grows to explain all of the features. This example exaggerates the obscurity and terseness found in many man pages, making fun of the typical style of the genre.

It follows the prescribed format for a man page, with the following sections:
*Command Name: self-explanatory
*Synopsis: a synopsis of the valid command line formats
*Description: a summary of the purpose and operation of the command
*Options: detailed description of all the available command line arguments
*See Also: references to other man pages with relevance
*Bug Reports: contact details for the support group (if any)
*Copyright: details of the ownership and rights status of the man page (not the program)

For comic effect, most of this particular man page is not meaningful, and sometimes doesn't obey the expected syntax.

The Synopsis section is supposed to be in a {{w|Regular Expression|regex}}-like language called {{w|Wirth Syntax Notation}}, with structures like

*{<list of valid alternatives>}, e.g. blerp {A,B,C}
*[<optional element>], e.g. blerp [-o [<output file>]]
*<something>... meaning repeat <something> as many times as you need

But the two Synopsis lines given do not have valid Wirth syntax; they randomly mix objects and syntactic characters, and the brackets and braces are not properly nested or paired.

The Description section provides an unhelpful summary that could apply to almost any Unix command. Processing input files (or output of other commands in a pipeline) is a generic function for Unix shell tools, as is specifying their behaviour with command line arguments, environment variables and flags. The text leaves to the reader's imagination what the program actually ''does'', and what behavior the various options modify, which gives maximum scope for humorous possibilities.

The options are in conventional alphabetical order, except that lower case is placed before upper case, and an em-dash is inserted between b and c.

{{w|Command-line_interface#Command-line_option|Command-line options}}, also known as flags, are typed after the program's name to change how the program runs. For example, a user of ''blerp'' might type:

<code>blerp -a -d -t -p "AVIGNON"</code>

According to the man page, this would run blerp in attack mode, piping its output to DEBUG.EXE, with tumble dry, and the true Pope set to "AVIGNON". In most cases, any number of flags can be used in any order, and flags can be followed by argument (such as "AVIGNON" in this example).

For a walkthrough of all possible flags see the '''[[#Table of flags|table of flags]]''' below.

Below the flags there is a ''see also'' list with other ludicrous program names (blirb, [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Blarb blarb] and [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Blorp blorp]), each followed by a number in parentheses. This is a common way to refer to a command in Unix environments, where the number denotes the documentation section the program is found in. This serves to disambiguate man pages with the same name, in this instance those for the blerp command (section 1, "General commands") and the blerp() C library function (section 3, "C library functions").

It is unknown which section the man page in this comic resides in. It looks like it could be in section 1, "General commans", which would make it self-referential. Section numbers only go up to 8, so blarb(51) is not a valid section number. The last blorp(501)(c)(3) is not a valid section number either, it is however a slightly covert reference to {{w|501(c)_organization#501.28c.29.283.29|501(c)(3)}} which is an organization that is {{w|Tax exemption|tax-exempt}}.

Then follows a bug report site. www.inaturalist.org is a site working to extend biological research, and the exact address given, http://www.inaturalist.org/taxa/47744-Hemiptera, points to the same page as http://www.inaturalist.org/taxa/Hemiptera. {{w|Hemiptera}} is the order classifying ''true bugs'', making it a good place to report any biological bugs discovered while running a program (Like the bees found without using -b.) Insects got into some early computers, causing them to malfunction, and hence computer malfunctions are often called "bugs".

Finally there is a "{{w|copyright}}" line which references several variously open-source content licenses, which is a recurring theme on xkcd (see [[225: Open Source]]). For instance, GPL references {{w|GNU General Public License}} and the (2) and (3+) refers to {{w|GNU_General_Public_License#Version_2|GPL 2}} and {{w|GNU_General_Public_License#Version_3|GPL 3 or higher}}. ''CC'' refers to {{w|creative commons}} where ''BY'' is the {{w|Creative_Commons_license#Types_of_licenses|type of license}}, ''5.0'' refers to the attribution and ''RV 41.0'' refers to revision 41.0. However there were no higher attribution than [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/legalcode 4.0] at the time of this comic's release. xkcd is released under [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/ CC BY-NC 2.5] as can be seen at the bottom of the {{xkcd}}  homepage. A few comics have been released under the [[:Category:CC-BY-SA comics|CC-BY-SA license]] or [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/ 3.0]. BSD refers to {{w|BSD licenses}}, another [[:Category:BSD|recurring theme]] in xkcd. "Like Gecko" is a reference to a web browser user-agent string; modern user-agent strings include a [http://webaim.org/blog/user-agent-string-history/ lot of text designed] to allow browsers to masquerade as different browsers/renderers, and "(like Gecko)" is the standard text for a browser that wants to be treated as if it were {{w|Gecko (software)|Gecko}} while admitting, if you look closely, that it isn't really Gecko. This copyright line, which includes a lot of mashed-together text that might appear to match any of several different licenses, resembles a {{w|user agent}} string.

"Or best offer" is usually seen on a notice of a private sale, where it proclaims the intent to be flexible on asking price in the hope of expediting the sale, with a suggestion that the seller will sell to the highest bidder even if the offer is nowhere near the asking price. In the context of the comic, it suggest that the rights for the program are available for purchase by anyone who makes the "best" offer. Since the other licenses listed would allow free usage without incurring any royalty charge, it would be pointless to buy the rights to this program. It is possible to revoke the other licenses though. Perhaps the program's creator is suggesting the rights could be given to someone making him a different sort of offer, perhaps romantic or sexual?

In the title text there is a list with even more info, again with silly names like [http://blarbl.blogspot.dk/ blarbl] and [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=birb birb]. Again there are section numbers. While writing about birb, and without bothering to close the brackets around (3), the writer breaks off to laugh at the reader, telling them that he is kidding and suggesting that they ''just Google it like a normal person''. The implication is that anyone trying to pick through a man page to find out what a program does is going the long way round, when it's much simpler to get Google to tell you.

Man pages were part of the subject of [[293: RTFM]], [[912: Manual Override]] and [[1343: Manuals]] and were mentioned in [[434: xkcd Goes to the Airport]] and [[456: Cautionary]].

===Table of flags===
*There are 28 flags.
**Only these five letters are not used: l, m, w, x, z.
**j and k are used together as jk.
**The following seven capital letters are used: D, I, O, R, S, U, V.
***That makes it one capital letter for every lower case letter that is not used by itself.
**Finally the em dash "—" is used as the only non-letter character. Also the only that breaks the strict alphabetical sorting of the list, with lower case before upper case letters.
{| class="wikitable"
!Flag!!Description!!Explanation
|-
| -a||ATTACK MODE||This sounds like a command for a robot or something similar. Strange for a command line program. Possibly this is designed to break something? Sounds as if you have to ''really'' know what you're doing to use this option
|-
| -b||SUPPRESS BEES||Nonsensical option. This is a word play, meaning either to suppress {{w|Bee|Bees}} (the insects) or the letter '''B'''. A possible implication is that running the program without this flag would somehow result in the user being attacked by bees. This is also a possible {{w|Discworld}} reference, as the ''{{W|Hex_(Discworld)#Structure_and_technology|long-term storage}}'' of the only recurring computer in the series, ''{{w|Hex (Discworld)|Hex}}'', is composed of a beehive. (Note that the actual computer runs on ants.) Another explanation is that there will be smoke, which is used by beekeepers to suppress bees.
|-
| -—||FLAGS USE EM DASHES||Command line options (flags) typically use {{w|Hyphen|hyphens}} (short horizontal lines largely used within words). {{w|Dash#Em_dash|Em dashes}} (longer, with the same length as the letter "m") can't always be easily typed into a command line interface, so by invoking ''blerp'' with this flag you are intentionally making things difficult for yourself.

This may be a play on how a lot of commands accept both single-dash options, like -h for help, as well as double-dash options like --help also for help. In word processors, a double-dash (--) is often replaced with the longer em dash (—), making them kind of synonymous.

Also implies a paradox where if flags were to use em dashes, this flag would be invalid.
|-
| -c||COUNT NUMBER OF ARGUMENTS||Most likely not useful, but the only function of ''blerp'' whose behaviour is at all well defined, although there is no indication whether it would count duplicate flags or only distinct ones.
|-
| -d||PIPES OUTPUT TO DEBUG.EXE||{{w|DEBUG.EXE}} is the old 16-bit debugger that came with MS-DOS. On a Unix system it is much more likely that one would use the {{w|GNU Debugger}} (GDB). A debugger is usually called by calling the debugger with the program (or script) to be debugged as parameter.
{{w|Pipeline (Unix)|Piping}} in Unix means that the output of one program serves as input for another program.
|-
| -D||DEPRECATED||Many programs contain legacy options to avoid breaking scripts that use them. While the option should still work, the documentation is changed to say "deprecated" to discourage further use. Eventually such options usually get removed. (However, given the nature of this comic, it's likely that -D has always stood for "deprecated".)
|-
| -e||EXECUTE SOMETHING||Vague. Also a possible pun on a kill-switch.
|-
| -f||FUN MODE||Strange and slightly ominous, given some of the other options. How does the program know what the user would consider fun? Perhaps ''blerp'' is sentient, and has its own concept of "fun". See under -O.
|-
| -g||USE GOOGLE||As an actual program flag, a bit hackjob-ish, but it is possible it is telling the user to use Google to find out what this tag does. Or, the program might actually use Google functionality (e.g. a code library online) or even simply the search mask to achieve the filtering it is supposed to do. The fact that this is optional suggests that there is also a 'native' implementation that does not use Google.
Possible reference to the title text, which could mean that the title text is telling the user to use this flag.
|-
| -h||CHECK WHETHER INPUT HALTS||The {{w|Halting problem}} is the problem of determining, from a description of an arbitrary computer program and an input, whether the program will finish running or continue to run forever. {{w|Alan Turing}} proved in 1936 that a general algorithm to solve the halting problem for all possible program-input pairs cannot exist. Halting problem also featured in the comic [[1266: Halting Problem]].

Many Unix and Linux commands reserve -h for help, so using it for a different function is non-standard. The ''shutdown'' command is a real example of an exception: it uses -h to cause the computer to halt.
|-
| -i||IGNORE CASE (LOWER)||Usually, ignoring case means that a program will run without differentiating between upper- and lowercase. This flag suggests that blerp will run ignoring all the lowercase characters completely, or ignoring all the uppercase characters with the next flag "-I". Alternatively it will ignore the case of all lower case characters, but not upper case ones. Or perhaps this option makes the program ignore the case of flags like -i and -I...
|-
| -I||IGNORE CASE (UPPER)||See above. Also possible that all text is converted to upper case, or that upper-case requirements only are ignored
|-
| -jk||KIDDING||A common acronym for [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jk Just Kidding], not usually a program flag! Also note that standard behavior of Unix command line options is that a single "-" can be followed by multiple one-letter options, making -jk equivalent to -j -k. Perhaps this is a reference to the -WhatIf flag provided by many programs written in {{w|powershell}}. Some UNIX programs do offer a "simulation mode" before important, irreversible operations, such as the "-n" switch of mke2fs.
|-
| -n||BEHAVIOR NOT DEFINED||Who would ever knowingly run a program, knowing that {{w|Nondeterministic programming|its behaviour was non-deterministic or random}}? Doing such a thing seems potentially sinister. (Possible debug/unstable feature flag.)
|-
| -o||OVERWRITE||Standard program flag, usually meaning that the program will overwrite a file rather than make a new one when data is output. But the text does not indicate ''what'' the program will overwrite, it could be anything. May work strangely with -d.
|-
| -O||OPPOSITE DAY||Strange flag, possibly a reference to {{w|Opposite Day}}, perhaps indicating that it makes all other flags have the opposite effects to usual. If so, a lot of strange things would happen, especially with -b, -e, -f, -jk, -O, -S, and -y.
|-
| -p||SET TRUE POPE; ACCEPTS "ROME" OR "AVIGNON"||This refers to a {{w|Western_Schism|historical schism}} in the {{w|Catholic Church}}. In the 14th century, the Pope briefly ruled from Avignon, France, instead of Rome. After the Papacy was returned to Rome in 1377, the Church split (the so-called Western Schism) as not everyone accepted the move or the authority of the Pope who ordered it. This flag apparently allows the user to select a preferred Pope. A possible feature request for ''blerp'' would be to allow "PISA". It is the second time this week that Popes have been mentioned, last time was two comics before in [[1690: Time-Tracking Software]] regarding the Pope's sexual activity.
|-
| -q||QUIET MODE; OUTPUT IS PRINTED TO STDOUT INSTEAD OF BEING SPOKEN ALOUD||In most cases, a program will output basic information to the console, and running it in quiet mode will make it run without outputting anything. Blerp, on the other hand, apparently outputs information through audio, and the quiet flag causes it to run like a normal program. "STDOUT" is short for "standard output".
|-
| -r||RANDOMIZE ARGUMENTS||Pointless and possibly damaging. Presumably the randomization takes the form of any flag randomly causing the behavior of another. This would perhaps be similar in effect to the -n flag.
|-
| -R||RUN RECURSIVELY ON <nowiki>http://*</nowiki>||The star (*) symbol is often used as a wildcard to match any string of characters. "<nowiki>http://*</nowiki>" suggests that blerp will be run recursively on every (unsecured) webpage on the internet. Programming requirements that might make this a valid thing to want to do are ominous.
|-
| -s||FOLLOW SYMBOLIC LINKS SYMBOLICALLY||A {{w|symbolic link}} is a filesystem feature that allows the creation of "fake" files which when accessed redirect to another file path. Many commands offer an option to follow filesystem links and operate on the actual file rather than the fake pointer; this option however seems to suggest that it will only politely pretend to do so.
|-
| -S||STEALTH MODE||Similar to -a, in that it sounds more like an option for some kind of robot. In this mode it appears the program will attempt to make sneaky changes without drawing any attention to itself.
|-
| -t||TUMBLE DRY||Perhaps useful for a program that runs on a clothes dryer. Refers to [https://img1.etsystatic.com/000/0/5254504/il_570xN.184726893.jpg directions like these]. Many clothing items are marked "do not tumble dry" in the care instructions, but this would be extremely difficult to make relevant to a program. Given the other flags, this may be less nonsensical than it would first appear. This flag could also be a reference to the dry-run flags that are sometimes available to make command line tools do a simulation run without making any actual modifications to the system.
|-
| -u||UTF-8 MODE; OTHERWISE DEFAULTS TO ANSEL||{{w|ANSEL}} is an old and obscure character encoding that predates ASCII. Using ANSEL as a default would be strange and largely incompatible with most modern systems. By comparison, UTF-8 is standard in the mainstream. Similar in this regard to -q, blerp does something non-standard by default. The problem with using different modes (where the original was also UTF-8) is shown in the title text of [[1683: Digital Data]].
|-
| -U||UPDATE (DEFAULT: FACEBOOK)||Update usually refers to replacing an old software with a newer version. The default here suggests posting a status update to Facebook, sourcing an update from Facebook, or updating Facebook itself.
|-
| -v||VERBOSE; ALIAS TO find / -exec cat {}||Almost standard flag, in ordinary programs the opposite of -q - instead of silencing output, it generates more, usually to help with debugging. For ''blerp'', this flag gets replaced with a command that prints the contents of all files in the filesystem tree. However, it will never complete, as certain device files never end (/dev/urandom contains random bytes). In any case, the "find" command is missing <code>\;</code> and will not run, instead complaining <code>find: missing argument to `-exec'</code> .
|-
| -V||SET VERSION NUMBER||Many programs will have a flag to view their version number. This flag ''changes'' the version number instead. Version number should only be changed when the program is updated (because it's used for distinguishing which edition of a program you have), so manually changing the version number like this is strange and potentially damaging.
|-
| -y||YIKES||{{Wiktionary|yikes}} is an interjection which can express fear or empathy with unpleasant or undesirable circumstances. It is unclear how this would influence the program.
|}

==Transcript==
:[A terminal screen; the background is black and the text is white.]
<div style="background-color:black;color:white;white-space:pre-wrap;font-family:monospace;padding: 0 2em;max-width:50em;">
;NAME
:blerp
;SYNOPSIS
:blerp {[ OPTION | ARGS ]...[ ARGS ... -f [FLAGS] ...}
:blerp {... DIRECTORY ... URL | BLERP} OPTIONS ] -{}
;DESCRIPTION
:blerp FILTERS LOCAL OR REMOTE FILES OR RESOURCES USING PATTERNS DEFINED BY ARGUMENTS AND ENVIRONMENT VARIABLES. THIS BEHAVIOR CAN BE ALTERED BY VARIOUS FLAGS.
;OPTIONS
:-a ATTACK MODE
:-b SUPPRESS BEES
:-— FLAGS USE EM DASHES
:-c COUNT NUMBER OF ARGUMENTS
:-d PIPES OUTPUT TO DEBUG.EXE
:-D DEPRECATED
:-e EXECUTE SOMETHING
:-f FUN MODE
:-g USE GOOGLE
:-h CHECK WHETHER INPUT HALTS
:-i IGNORE CASE (LOWER)
:-I IGNORE CASE (UPPER)
:-jk KIDDING
:-n BEHAVIOR NOT DEFINED
:-o OVERWRITE
:-O OPPOSITE DAY
:-p SET TRUE POPE; ACCEPTS "ROME" OR "AVIGNON"
:-q QUIET MODE; OUTPUT IS PRINTED TO STDOUT INSTEAD OF BEING SPOKEN ALOUD
:-r RANDOMIZE ARGUMENTS
:-R RUN RECURSIVELY ON <nowiki>http://*</nowiki>
:-s FOLLOW SYMBOLIC LINKS SYMBOLICALLY
:-S STEALTH MODE
:-t TUMBLE DRY
:-u UTF-8 MODE; OTHERWISE DEFAULTS TO ANSEL
:-U UPDATE (DEFAULT: FACEBOOK)
:-v VERBOSE; ALIAS TO find / -exec cat {}
:-V SET VERSION NUMBER
:-y YIKES
;SEE ALSO
:blerp(1), blerp(3), blirb(8), blarb(51) blorp(501)(c)(3)
;BUG REPORTS
:<nowiki>http://www.inaturalist.org/taxa/47744-Hemiptera</nowiki>
;COPYRIGHT
:GPL(2)(3+) CC-BY/5.0 RV 41.0 LIKE GECKO/BSD 4(2) OR BEST OFFER
</div>

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:BSD]]
[[Category:Animals]] 
[[Category:Man pages]]

1647: Diacritics

2018-04-30T17:58:41Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 1647
| date = February 24, 2016
| title = Diacritics
| image = diacritics.png
| titletext = Using diacritics correctly is not my forté.
}}

==Explanation==
A {{w|diacritic}} (or a diacritical mark) is a {{w|glyph}} added to a letter. The main use of diacritical marks in the {{w|latin script}} is to change the sound-values of the letters to which they are added, typically {{w|vowels}}.

[[Cueball]] is writing an e-mail (maybe for a job application) and notes in the mail that he attaches his {{w|résumé}}, or {{w|curriculum vitae}}. The word ''résumé'' uses two ''e''s with an {{w|acute accent}} so they look like this: é.

While diacritics can be common in several languages, English is an example of a language that rarely ever has any at all. This occurs to such an extent that words and expressions borrowed from other languages (such as "résumé" or "piñata") are frequently written in English with the diacritics omitted, as in "resume" or "pinata".

Randall may be poking fun at people who use Zalgo, a form of spam where people continuously spam diacritics in chat messages. For example:

T̯̙̻̼̠͕̙̬̬̜̼̊ͥͦͬͤ̇̎̆̌ͭ͢͠͡o̡̲̩̟̲̬̰̪̜̝͙̺̦̙͍̳ͬͯͯ͋͒̍ͨ̓̇́̚̚̕ ̸̢̬̘̦͕̯̱̜̲̼̤ͬͧͤͨǐ̷̷̯̼̝̹̫ͪ̀̋̿̄̓n̿͂ͩ͂ͮ̔̆͏͎͍͕̜͎̺̯͈̼̩̣̥̬͡͞ͅͅv̴̨̙̼̤̼͙͖̫̖̺̹̠̹̦́͌͑̓̆̂ͯ̑̈̏ͭo̢̫̲̙̺̬̤̲̳ͨ̐ͦ̽͛ͮ͛́͂ͣ͂ͮ͆͑̍̀ͯ̕͟k̵̨̫̙̤͙̹̫͚͈̪͇͓͈̫̬̥͕̱͎̜̉̔ͬͭͦ̓͐ͫ̋̋ͥ̋̀̕͟è̢̛͑͋͐̀̏ͣ̏ͬ̒̌͌́̚͘͝͏̟̞͇̘̤̼̮̤͍͚̫̤͚̰ ̶̧̮̗̣̫͇̦͎̮̤̗͙̗̳͎̺͆̉̈ͭ̽̈́̌̽ͥ̾͑̀̚̚͘͟ͅͅt̸͓͉̩́̓̓ͮ̇̈̆ͣ̀ͪͬ͑̅ͣ̍h̸̡̧ͧ͑̐̂ͥ̄̃̂̄́͋ͨ͑̓̆͋̚͏̸̟̣̤̺͔̘̞̦̖͖̣̺̱̜͔̗̫̰ͅȇ̡͇͎͎̩̮̟̖̖̤̦̜͍̱̇ͨ̃̈́̄̑ͦͭ̚͞ͅ ̛̼̤̟̩̦̻̤̙̥̬̠̩̙̙̱͚͕ͫ͐̏ͥ̄ͧͧͭ̔̆͐̋͘h̶̵̜̤͓̹̰ͣ̄͗́́i̝͕̘̗͉͚̰͓̮͕̣͒̂̒ͨ̽ͫ̎ͪͦ́̕͝ͅv̧̙̞̣̳͍̟̖͚̻̝͈ͧ͊ͫ͋ͩͫ̍͋̏̽ͤ̀͝͞ͅẻ̢͓̣̰͔̟͎̥̻̤̲̟̣̜̄̈́̌͛̌̄͢͞ͅ-̨̡͆̓̌̎̉̑҉͚̝̗m̨̛͎̬͉̯̽ͥͫ̇ͦ̒̿̎́͒́̚͡͠ỉ̧̡͖͙̙͕͔̲ͩ́ͣ͐ͧ͑̊̾̒͑̅͗̊́̎̚n̠̮̜̝̜̤̰̻̘͖̦͚̼ͫ̄͐͗ͣ́͢͜d̡̛̳͕̬̫̯̩͕̰̖̟̲͕͙ͭ̅̓ͥ͛ͨ͒ͯ͌̚ͅͅ ̟̜̳̫͕̺͎̺̲̗̋̐̀͛͑̅̅͛̾̈́̀̚͞͠r̸̯̥͚̟̰͉͎͓̖͉͂̎̅̐ͫͧ͛ͯ͜ë́̎͂̆ͥͩ͟͏̰̤̳͓̩͉̲̣̠͍͔̗̦̬̱̯p̽ͧ͒͗ͣ̿̆̄̑͏̘̜̥̠̜̥̘̲̮̹̤̪̦͕͇͓͞r̴͓̼̺̰̹͙͉̦͚̞̤͕̭̦̈́ͫ̔̂̓̆̒͗͛̿̑̉̿̓ͤ̏̇̀̚͘͘͢é̴̢̛̖̗̖̤ͧ̽͑ͨ̒̌̍ͭ̑̋̃̒ͫ̀͡ş̶͉͚̠̠͇͓̬̙͚̖̝͓͕̤̟́̂̏ͧͩ͌͑͐ͣ͌͌̄̾̿ȩ̢͈̗̝͍ͨ̒͗ͭ̔̈͆ͫ̔ͨ̈́́̊ͣ̃̎̀͝͝n̸̟͔̺̠̺̓̑̏͐ͩͬ̏̈́̌͒́̏ͥ̌̍͊ͧ̀̚͜͞͞tͮ̾͒̇̐ͩ͆̓ͣ҉̢̤͖̩͕̬̮͚͙̖͕̬̘̙͘͠ͅĩ̡̬̙̙̯̩͋̋̄n̡̡̊̐͌ͣ̍̒̽ͩͫ͌ͦ̚͝͏̳̻̞͓̗̹̪̜̘̰̠̟͈̮̲̳̜g̵̎̓́̃ͮ̍̏̈̄ͧ̈́̐̔̏ͤͭͨ҉̛̘̰̘̟̬̝̰̜̗̼ͅͅ ̸̦̞͓̟͉̫͔̦̰̝͈̩̳̞̼̮̩̬͕̿ͩ͗̂̌̐ͭ͟͞c̳̻͚̻̩̻͉̯̄̏͑̋͆̎͐ͬ͑͌́͢h̵͔͈͍͇̪̯͇̞͖͇̜͉̪̪̤̙ͧͣ̓̐̓ͤ͋͒ͥ͑̆͒̓͋̑́͞ǎ̡̮̤̤̬͚̝͙̞͎̇ͧ͆͊ͅo̴̲̺͓̖͖͉̜̟̗̮̳͉̻͉̫̯̫̍̋̿̒͌̃̂͊̏̈̏̿ͧ́ͬ̌ͥ̇̓̀͢͜s̵̵̘̹̜̝̘̺̙̻̠̱͚̤͓͚̠͙̝͕͆̿̽ͥ̃͠͡.̔̈́ͤͣͪ̅̎̄̽ͩͪ͛̓̂̂̑͒҉̤͍͔̲̣̜͕̺͕͇̖͓̺̦̺́̀͢

Which reads (without the diacritics) as 'To invoke the hive mind representing chaos.'

As Cueball/[[Randall]] is a native English-speaker, it is thus naturally that he often forgets (or just doesn't bother) to add these diacritics (hence the title of the comic).

When he occasionally remembers them, for instance when he types a word where he knows they should be included, like résumé, he then makes up for all those he must have forgotten since last time he thought of it, and thus adds a whole bunch at once. This reason is somewhat nonsensical.

The first diacritic he uses is the normal acute accent for the e to make it an é which does belong in ''résumé''. But the second diacritic he uses is an {{w|Umlaut (linguistics)|umlaut}} on the u making it into ü, which is not part of the word. (Although in French the ''u'' is pronounced like a {{w|Close front rounded vowel|[y]}}, which is also the sound of a German or Turkish ''ü'', and in German the word is spelt using this as ''Resümee'', but then the meaning is not the same but rather conclusions or abstracts).

Cueball then goes all in on the last e which, like the first e, is supposed to have an acute accent. This e has a {{w|cedilla}} (as in ȩ), a {{w|Ring (diacritic)|ring}} (as in e̊), three acute accents, and is topped off by a {{w|breve}} (as in ĕ). In total, six diacritics are used on this e alone.

Some languages—notably Vietnamese—{{w|Vietnamese alphabet|can use more than one diacritic per letter}}, but usually only two (for example, ṏ). Using them in this fashion makes little sense though it is reminiscent of [http://stackoverflow.com/q/6579844/256431 Zalgo text].

There are also three acute accents over the last period. This is not something that is ever used.

So for a word that is supposed to have two diacritics, Cueball uses eight, plus three for the period.

In the title text "not my forté" is supposed to mean that it is not one of Randall's strength or talent. However, to obtain this meaning {{Wiktionary|forte}} should not have an acute diacritic over the e, thus proving Randall's point that it is not his forte to use diacritics. This is a form of {{w|hyperforeignism}}, where people spell loan words or use pronunciations that they believe is more faithful to the language it comes from instead of the "English" one, even though the "English" one is actually more correct. Due to its similarity with other words from French such as café, some people believe that forte is also spelled with a diacritic on the ending E.

The title text may be a reference to the [[what if?]] released a week before this comic, {{what if|145|''Fire from moonlight''}}, in which note 9 reads "My résumé says étendue is my forté." (With the same error on "forte") It is possible that noticing his mistake was the inspiration for this comic. Also {{Wiktionary|étendue}} can be written without the accent as {{Wiktionary|etendue#English|etendue}} and the meaning is only written on this page in the Wiktionary. It means property of the light in an optical system which makes sense in the context of the note. However, it means something different in French where it either refers to size or range as a noun or as a verb is an alternative form of {{Wiktionary|étendre#French|étendre}} meaning stretch or spread. The most correct way of writing the sentence he tried to write would only have involved the accent on résumé: "My résumé says etendue is my forte." Thus again making it clear that Randall has it right when he writes: "Using diacritics correctly is not my forté."

If there actually has been someone who corrected Randall's mistake in the what if?, then there could be an extra pun hidden in the title. Those who criticized Randall's use of accents, would thus become dia''critics''!

Comic [[1209: Encoding]] also references an absurd use of diacritics, and later a possible movie called ''Combining Diacritical Marks'' was mentioned in [[1857: Emoji Movie]], a direct reference to this comic.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sitting in front of his lap top typing. The text above him is the one he is typing. The last word résumé has too many diacritics. The u has an umlaut (as in ü) and the last é has no less than six diacritics; a cedilla below (as in ȩ), a ring above (as in e̊ ), then three acute accents above the ring (as in é), and finally they are topped off by a breve (as in ĕ). Also the last full stop has three accents "´" above it:]
 
:Cueball (typing): Attached please fīnd my résümȩ̊́́́̆.́́́

:I usually leave out diacritics when I type, so I make up for it by occasionally adding a whole bunch at once.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Language]]

1602: Linguistics Club

2018-04-30T17:56:00Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 1602
| date = November 11, 2015
| title = Linguistics Club
| image = linguistics_club.png
| titletext = If that's too easy, you could try joining Tautology Club, which meets on the date of the Tautology Club meeting.
}}

==Explanation==
A "{{Wiktionary|sesquiannual}}" meeting is one that occurs one and a half times every year; equivalently, 3 times every 2 years, or once every 8 months (this could be taken even more literally by having one meeting during each year, and another meeting which spans midnight every other New Year's Eve, thus having a one and a half meetings each year).

The term comes from the Latin prefix "{{Wiktionary|sesqui-}}", which means "one and a half", and the root word "{{Wiktionary|annual}}", which equates to "…times per one year". The root word "annual" is commonly confused with the suffix "{{Wiktionary|-ennial}}", meaning "one time per x years." In particular, “sesquiannual” should not be confused with “{{Wiktionary|sesquiennial}}”, meaning "one time per one and a half years" or every one and a half years (18 months). Note that the Wiktionary entry on sesquiannual has both meanings listed – both 8 month and 18 months intervals. This is an extension of the common confusion between "biannual," meaning "twice a year", and "biennial", meaning "once every two years". Compare with the {{w|Sesquicentennial Exposition}} celebrating the first 1½ centuries of the United States, and "sesqui''bi''centennial", being 'half and two' hundred years, i.e. 250.

The joke suggests that only a competent linguist could understand the word “sesquiannual”. One reason for this is that the prefix “sesqui-” is rare, so those who know its meaning are likely to be linguists. Another is that a competent linguist should be able to distinguish between “sesquiannual” and “sesquiennial”.

If you understand this then you can join the '''Linguistics Club'''. While most organizations attempt to ensure that the schedule of their meetings are clear to participants so that everyone will attend, the club in the comic deliberately instills an ambiguity for those outside their target demographic. Their membership will thus swell with the desired cognoscenti who remain unconfused, and maybe also a few lucky guessers.

Once the applicant correctly understands the frequency of meetings, presumably they are told at least one meeting date in the cycle so that an attendance can be made.

Regarding the title text, a {{w|tautology (rhetoric)|tautology}} is a statement that is true (or self-evident) because of its logical form, such as "all birds are birds" or "A = A." As such, the statement "the Tautology Club meets on the date of the Tautology Club's meeting" is itself tautological.

While the membership requirement for the Linguistics Club is merely to know the intended frequency, the Tautology Club's stipulation appears to require an eligible member to derive a valid meeting date from thin air without any clue at all (and no indication that there is even a regular cycle of any kind). This would definitely be more of a challenge.

The title text has a connection to [[703: Honor Societies]] in which Cueball creates a Tautology Club where tautologies are used in practically every spoken sentence.

==Transcript==
:[Megan talks to Ponytail.]
:Megan: You should come to our Linguistics Club's sesquiannual meeting.
:Megan: Membership is open to anyone who can figure out how often we meet.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Language]]

1533: Antique Factory

2018-04-30T17:53:22Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 1533
| date = June 3, 2015
| title = Antique Factory
| image = antique_factory.png
| titletext = WARNING: This item was aged by the same inexorable passage of time that also processes nuts.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Beret Guy]] has a new job with a paradoxical premise. When asked where he works, he says "{{w|Antique}} factory!" which is an {{Wiktionary|oxymoron}} since one cannot build an antique object directly in a factory: Only when the item is old enough to be worth more than its original price (and will often have to have been in use during this time period), can it be called an antique.

At the "factory", Beret Guy walks up to a chair, a table, and a small cabinet, then simply sits down in the chair and does nothing else. Of course, one does not simply make or manufacture antiques - instead, one must wait. Beret Guy appears to be doing exactly this. The implication is that the "antique factory" is simply a place where furniture is stored until it becomes old enough to be considered "antique", and that Beret Guy doesn't perform any useful function (except perhaps using the items to make them look old and worn, or keeping an eye on the inventory so it won't be stolen).

The title text refers to allergy warning labels saying ''May contain nuts''. More specifically, they may say "Manufactured in a facility which also processes nuts", "Manufactured on equipment that also processes nuts", or similar. These warnings indicate that bits of powder and oil from nuts may have been mixed into the product, creating a hazard to people with nut allergies. Sometimes these warnings are used for allergens besides nuts, but nuts are likely the most common.

The joke here is that of course the time that has passed for a specific item to become an antique will be the same time that has also passed while elsewhere nuts have grown. Thus the time that has {{Wiktionary|inexorable#Adjective|inexorably}} passed to make a specific item antique will also have processed nuts.

Beret Guy has previously "traveled" into the future in [[209: Kayak]].

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is leaving with a briefcase in hand.]
:Beret Guy: Gotta go - I'm late for work.
:Off-screen voice: Oh, where are you working now?
:Beret Guy: Antique factory!

:[Beret Guy arrives in a room with a chair, a table, and a small cabinet. He pulls out the chair.]

:[Beret Guy sits in the chair. He has placed the briefcase behind the chair.]

:[Beat panel.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Beret Guy's Business]]

1533: Antique Factory

2018-04-30T17:52:39Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 1533
| date = June 3, 2015
| title = Antique Factory
| image = antique_factory.png
| titletext = WARNING: This item was aged by the same inexorable passage of time that also processes nuts.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Beret Guy]] has a new job with a paradoxical premise. When asked where he works, he says "{{w|Antique}} factory!" which is an {{Wiktionary|oxymoron}} since one cannot build an antique object directly in a factory: Only when the item is old enough to be worth more than its original price (and will often have to have been in use during this time period), can it be called an antique.

At the "factory", Beret Guy walks up to a chair, a table, and a small cabinet, then simply sits down in the chair and does nothing else. Of course, one does not simply make or manufacture antiques - instead, one must wait. Beret Guy appears to be doing exactly this. The implication is that the "antique factory" is simply a place where furniture is stored until it becomes old enough to be considered "antique", and that Beret Guy doesn't perform any useful function (except perhaps using the items to make them look old and worn, or keeping an eye on the inventory so it won't be stolen).

The title text refers to allergy warning labels saying ''May contain nuts''. More specifically, they may say "Manufactured in a facility which also processes nuts", "Manufactured on equipment that also processes nuts", or similar. These warnings indicate that bits of powder and oil from nuts may have been mixed into the product, creating a hazard to people with nut allergies. Sometimes these warnings are used for allergens besides nuts, but nuts are likely the most common.

The joke here is that of course the time that has passed for a specific item to become an antique will be the same time that has also passed while elsewhere nuts have grown. Thus the time that has [[wiktionary:inexorable#Adjective|inexorably]] passed to make a specific item antique will also have processed nuts.

Beret Guy has previously "traveled" into the future in [[209: Kayak]].

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is leaving with a briefcase in hand.]
:Beret Guy: Gotta go - I'm late for work.
:Off-screen voice: Oh, where are you working now?
:Beret Guy: Antique factory!

:[Beret Guy arrives in a room with a chair, a table, and a small cabinet. He pulls out the chair.]

:[Beret Guy sits in the chair. He has placed the briefcase behind the chair.]

:[Beat panel.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Beret Guy's Business]]

90: Jacket

2018-04-30T17:52:01Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 90
| date = April 17, 2006
| title = Jacket
| image = jacket.jpg
| titletext = We have this conversation at least once a day in my apartment
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] clearly means to use ''{{Wiktionary|fucking}}'' as an intensifier. However, the friend (likely intentionally in response to the unnecessary swearing) takes ''fucking'' to be an identifier of which jacket is being discussed, and gives a smart-aleck response. His counterpart gets confused by the sarcasm, and the topic is dismissed.
Fuck is an obscene term meaning sex and can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, and adverb. A "fucking jacket" would be a jacket worn especially while having sex or, less likely, a jacket that has sex.

The title text states that this often occurs in Cueball/Randall's apartment.

==Transcript==
:[Two men stand and talk to one another.]
:Cueball: Where's my fucking jacket?
:[Friend indicates something behind him.]
:Friend: Over there, next to your regular one.
:Cueball: My what?
:Friend: Never mind.

==Trivia==
*This comic is the first to use an all-caps lettering, except for [[78: Garfield]].
(So, it's the second, then?)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

231: Cat Proximity

2018-04-30T17:50:17Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ Template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number =231
| date =March 5, 2007
| title =Cat Proximity
| image =cat_proximity.png
| titletext =Yes you are! And you're sitting there! Hi, kitty!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic refers to the use of "{{w|baby talk}}" when speaking to pets, especially {{w|cats}}. A person's voice becomes {{w|falsetto}} and {{Wiktionary|cooing}}, vocabulary becomes simplified, and phrases are repeated, such as "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."

The chart shows that a person's apparent intelligence decreases, and that the {{Wiktionary|inanity}} (i.e. uselessness or emptiness) of their statements increases, the closer they get to a cat.
Most people act like this when they're playing with cats or trying to call them over to them.
Thankfully, being close to a cat doesn't actually cause any decrease of intelligence in normal circumstances; the graph technically refers to ''demonstrated'' intelligence rather than actual IQ levels.

The title text continues [[Cueball|Cueball's]] obvious statement (and thus inane/useless point made) from below the graph.

In [[1535: Words for Pets]], [[Randall]] again mentions how people often talk strangely to their pets.

==Transcript==
:[A graph with the x-axis labeled, and the scale indicated from left to right:]
:Far
:Human proximity to cat
:Near
:[Two curves are drawn and labeled, first the one starting on top, which then veers downwards and crosses the other as that curve veers upwards.]
:Intelligence
:Inanity of statements

:[Below the graph, Cueball is seen standing at three distances from a cat that is drawn to the far right. The two first Cueballs are just standing, one below far, the other in the middle, and the last is standing close to the cat (below near) with his hands up, and he is speaking.]
:Cueball: You're a kitty!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]

740: The Tell-Tale Beat

2018-04-30T17:48:19Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ Template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 740
| date = May 14, 2010
| title = The Tell-tale Beat
| image = the_tell_tale_beat.png
| titletext = You fancy me mad. Could a madman have outsmarted the greatest electronica/techno artists of our era? Next to fall will be Roderick Usher's house/trance band.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Daft Punk}} is a French electronic music group. The beat used in electronic music can be vocalized or spelled as "unn-tss". '{{w|The Tell-Tale Heart}}' is a short story by {{w|Edgar Allan Poe}}, in which the narrator tries to appear sane while describing how he killed a man and hid his body in the floorboards. Eventually, he imagines he hears the dead man's heartbeat through the floorboards.

[[Cueball]] narrates that he killed Daft Punk and hid their bodies under the floorboards, as the narrator of 'The Tell-Tale Heart' did. (Having to outsmart a band named {{Wiktionary|daft|Daft}} Punk is quite ironic.) He says he has been haunted by the sound of the band's beats.

In the title text, the narrator continues trying to assert his sanity. He then insinuates that he will kill Roderick Usher's band; Roderick Usher was a character in '{{w|Fall of the House of Usher}}', another story by Edgar Allan Poe, making puns on 'house' and 'trance', genres of electronic music (the character of Madeline Usher in the story suffers from catalepsy, frequently falling into trances).

==Transcript==
:[The three panels show portions of a single scene. Although the characters are still stick figures, the artwork style is heavily crosshatched and shaded.]
:[In the first panel there is a desk with monitor on it, and a painting of a woman above that. Next to it is a bookshelf.]
:Ever since I murdered Daft Punk

:[There is a fireplace, with no fire. A rug lies before it. At the left end of the mantelpiece are two bottles, one tall, one round. Another photograph of a woman is in a frame at the right end. The bookshelf continues from the previous panel.]
:And hid their bodies beneath the floorboards, I've been haunted

:[The narrator is clutching his head and leaning forward. A grandfather clock is behind him, next to a doorway. Above the doorway is a pallid bust of Pallas.]
:By this ''pounding''.
:[White text on black.]
:Unn-Tss
:Unn-Tss
:Unn-Tss

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Music]]

906: Advertising Discovery

2018-04-30T17:47:13Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ Template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 906
| date = June 1, 2011
| title = Advertising Discovery
| image = citations.png
| titletext = When advertisers figure this out, our only weapon will be blue sharpies and "[disputed]".
}}

==Explanation==
On {{w|Wikipedia}}, a well-referenced text or statement indicates credibility. References for particular facts are linked to by bracketed blue little numbers in {{w|superscript}}.[1][3][4] When faced with a statement followed by these, readers will normally believe it without further ado,[6][10] since they take it on trust that there are directions on the bottom of the page, leading to a reliable source or two, agreeing with what the statement says. The effect becomes strengthened when such information often is confirmed to be correct.

In the comic, advertisers have realized that it has gone so far that people in general will take any nonsense for granted if there is just the right amount of Wikipedia-style reference tags to it. The penis pump e-commerce can suddenly flourish (again?) and the spammers won't even need to bother making up findings to cite.

Turgidax{{w|Registered trademark symbol|®}} is something [[Randall]] formed from ''{{Wiktionary|turgid}}'', meaning swollen. One reason that the attaching of ''-ax'' creates a typically pill-like name is simply that ''-ax'' (and ''-ex'') are common Latin adjectival word endings, and that many drugs have names formed from Latin words. -Ax is also, specifically, the root of the -acious ending in English, as in "audacious" or (appropriately) [http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bodacious bodacious], meaning "extra" or "especially". The idea is it makes the genitalius extra or especially turgid. ''{{Wiktionary|Cardiovascular}}'' means relating to the heart and blood vessels.

The title text is about how Wikipedia users have been able to add "disputed"-tags (nowadays "disputed – discuss") after challenged facts, with {{w|Template:Disputed-inline|this template}}, since the dawn of time.[11][disputed – discuss] So when faced with the new advertising trick {{w|Real life|IRL}}, we could counter by scribbling those tags all over with blue {{w|Sharpie (marker)|Sharpie}} marker pens, and so automatically revive the {{w|critical thinking}}.

==Transcript==
:Advertising discovery:
:[Person sits at computer, reading an ad on the screen. The bracketed superscripts are blue.]
:Ad: Turgidax® triples[2] your penis size overnight,[2][5] improving both your sexual attractiveness[2][7] and your cardiovascular health.[7][8][9]
:Person (thinking): Sounds legit.
:Caption: Wikipedia has trained us to believe anything followed by little blue numbers in brackets.

==Trivia==
* Randall changed the image name from advertising_discovery.png to citations.png, since adblocking extensions interpreted it as an ad and made the comic blank. He had the same problem just three months earlier with [[870: Advertising]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Penis]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

91: Pwned

2018-04-30T17:45:26Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ Template:Wiktionary

{{comic
| number = 91
| date = April 19, 2006
| title = Pwned
| image = pwned.png
| titletext = I'm sure a discussion of the reason for the disappearance of adventure games in favor of RPGs would be fascinating.
}}

==Explanation==

In the days of early personal computers, such as the IBM-XT, Atari, or C64, games were largely text-based {{w|Adventure game|adventure games}}. Those games were based on an interactive story, and the player had to solve a puzzle on this by communicating to the application using only a keyboard or, later, a mouse. Play was turn-based (like chess): the computer displayed some textual context, you entered a command (GO <direction>, TAKE <object>, KILL <person>, LOOK AT <object>, etc.), and the computer responded by giving the outcome of your command. This sparse context arose from the fact that games in the 1970s and 1980s needed to run on limited memory and microprocessor capacity, and on basic displays.

Over the following 20 years, technical advances allowed games to run in a real-time graphical context. Adventure games were largely displaced by other genres, including {{w|Role-playing video game|Role Playing Games (RPG)}}, where the player navigates a character through a graphical environment to achieve goals or gain in abilities, often involving a combat component. While the broad structure of these has a lot of similarity to adventure games, the experience is very different.

{{w|Zork}} is a classic example of a text-adventure game franchise. In the Zork games, players have to evade predators known as grues, which fear light, but love to devour adventurers entering the dark. Therefore, you cannot win the game without owning some light source.

"Counterstrike" is a reference to the {{w|Half-Life (series)|Half-Life}} mod {{w|Counter-Strike}} and its subsequent sequel. In the Counter-Strike series, you are either a terrorist or a counter-terrorist operative, and your goal is to stop the other from completing their objective. On a dark map, players would generally use night vision goggles, which don't produce light that would give away their position to the enemy.

Randall imagines a version of Counterstrike played in the text-context of Zork. Ironically, the outcome is not so different to what might be a typical experience of Counterstrike gameplay, particularly for inexperienced players: on starting the game, the player moves to another room and is immediately "{{Wiktionary|pwned}}" (a typical online gaming term meaning beaten, killed, or trapped/tricked) by an enemy.

In the title text, Randall suggests that a comparison of the genres, analysing the reasons why RPGs have proved more popular, would make an interesting study. His imagined example suggests that what has been gained in immersive environments may have been lost in complexity of story and gameplay.

==Transcript==
:Welcome to text-only Counterstrike.
:You are in a dark, outdoor map.
:> GO NORTH
:You have been pwned by a grue.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Video games]]

231: Cat Proximity

2018-04-30T17:41:25Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ interwiki links to wikt: via template:w

{{comic
| number =231
| date =March 5, 2007
| title =Cat Proximity
| image =cat_proximity.png
| titletext =Yes you are! And you're sitting there! Hi, kitty!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic refers to the use of "{{w|baby talk}}" when speaking to pets, especially {{w|cats}}. A person's voice becomes {{w|falsetto}} and {{w|wikt:cooing|cooing}}, vocabulary becomes simplified, and phrases are repeated, such as "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."

The chart shows that a person's apparent intelligence decreases, and that the {{w|wikt:inanity|inanity}} (i.e. uselessness or emptiness) of their statements increases, the closer they get to a cat.
Most people act like this when they're playing with cats or trying to call them over to them.
Thankfully, being close to a cat doesn't actually cause any decrease of intelligence in normal circumstances; the graph technically refers to ''demonstrated'' intelligence rather than actual IQ levels.

The title text continues [[Cueball|Cueball's]] obvious statement (and thus inane/useless point made) from below the graph.

In [[1535: Words for Pets]], [[Randall]] again mentions how people often talk strangely to their pets.

==Transcript==
:[A graph with the x-axis labeled, and the scale indicated from left to right:]
:Far
:Human proximity to cat
:Near
:[Two curves are drawn and labeled, first the one starting on top, which then veers downwards and crosses the other as that curve veers upwards.]
:Intelligence
:Inanity of statements

:[Below the graph, Cueball is seen standing at three distances from a cat that is drawn to the far right. The two first Cueballs are just standing, one below far, the other in the middle, and the last is standing close to the cat (below near) with his hands up, and he is speaking.]
:Cueball: You're a kitty!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-24T16:57:20Z

Guest: /* Table of possible CVE */

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures|CVE}} (Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures) is a standardized format for assigning an identity to a cybersecurity vulnerability (similar to the way that astronomical bodies are assigned unique identifiers by committees). Giving vulnerabilities a unique identifier makes them easier to talk about and helps in keeping track of the progress made toward resolving them. The typical format of a CVE identifier is '''CVE-[YEAR]-[NUMBER]'''. For example, the CVE identifier for 2017's widespread {{w|Meltdown (security vulnerability)|Meltdown vulnerability}} is [https://cve.mitre.org/cgi-bin/cvename.cgi?name=CVE-2017-5754 CVE-2017-5754]. CVEs also contain a short description of the issue.

In this comic (released in February 2018), Randall presents a number of spurious predicted CVEs for later in 2018. Each CVE identifier is given as "CVE-2018-?????", reflecting the fact that they have not yet happened so we don't know exactly what their CVE identifier will be.

==Table of possible CVE==
{|class="wikitable"
! style="width: 30%;" | Security Vulnerability
! style="width: 70%;" | Notes
|-
|Apple products crash when displaying certain {{w|Telugu language|Telugu}} or {{w|Bengali language|Bengali}} letter combinations.
|This refers to a real vulnerability in iOS and MacOS publicized a few days before the comic was released,<ref>https://techcrunch.com/2018/02/15/iphone-text-bomb-ios-mac-crash-apple/</ref> as well as past similar iOS vulnerabilities<ref>https://thenextweb.com/apps/2017/01/18/iphone-ipad-apple-text-ios-bug/</ref><ref>http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2018/01/18/apple-text-bomb-can-crash-iphones-single-message/</ref>.
|-
|An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit [''sic''] a race condition in {{w|Garbage collection (computer science)|garbage collection}} to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
|The reference to using a Timing Attack to exploit a race condition in garbage collection refers to Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws that can be exploited in a cloud server like the ones in Wikipedia. {{w|Claude Shannon}} was an early and highly influential information scientist whose work underlies compression, encryption, security, and the theory behind how information is encoded into binary digits - hence the pertinence of extracting just some of the bits from his Wikipedia entry. This is not really a security problem, since all the bits of the article are publicly available.
|-
|At the cafe on Third Street, the Post-it note with the WiFi password is visible from the sidewalk.
|Cafés often offer free access to WiFi as a service to patrons, as a business strategy to encourage said patrons to remain in the building and buy more coffee. Some use a password, so that only patrons can use the WiFi, and may display the password on signage inside. Since anybody could go into the cafe to read the post-it, and then use the network from nearby, the ability to read it from outside is, at most, a trivial problem. For systems that are supposed to be secure, writing passwords in a visible place is a major security flaw. For instance, following the [[wikipedia:2018 Hawaii false missile alert|2018 Hawaii false missile alert]], the agency concerned received criticism for a press photo showing a password written on a sticky note attached to a monitor.<ref>http://uk.businessinsider.com/hawaii-emergency-agency-password-discovered-in-photo-sparks-security-criticism-2018-1?r=US&IR=T</ref>
|-
|A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
|Describes a common feature on news sites or social media sites like Facebook. The possibility for users to "inject" text into the page is by design. This is a humorous reference to the relatively common security vulnerability "[[Wikipedia:Cross-site_scripting|persistent cross-site scripting]]", where input provided by a user, such as through a comment section, can result in dangerous content containing arbitrary HTML or Javascript code being displayed to other users.
|-
|MySQL server 5.5.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
|Some people pronounce "{{w|SQL}}" like "sequel", after SQL's predecessor "SEQUEL (Structured English Query Language)". The standard for SQL suggests that it should be pronounced as separate letters; however, the author of SQL pronounces it "sequel", so the debate is persisting (with even more justification than arguments about how to pronounce "GIF"). MySQL is an open-source relational database management system. The latest generally available version (at the time of writing) is MySQL 5.7.
|-
|A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
|{{w|Privilege escalation}} refers to any illegitimate means by which a system user gains greater access than they are supposed to have, and most hackers will seek to achieve this if they can. The most highly-sought privilege is that of the root user, which allows complete access to an entire system.

This CVE, however, presents the reverse situation: that a flaw can allow a root user to ''de-escalate'' to a less privileged user. This would have no obvious benefit, since anything the user could do in the new mode, they could have done before anyway. In any case, the root user can always de-escalate manually if they so choose, as they have complete control.
|-
|Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
|This is a reference to a common problem of modern gadgets catching fire (usually related to flaws in lithium-ion batteries), as well as to Apple products crashing when attempting to display certain character sequences. Diacritics are the accents found on letters in some languages (eg. č, ģ ķ, ļ, ņ, š, ž). These would not normally be found on emojis.
|-
|An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
|This probably refers to the movie {{w|Air Bud}}, about a dog playing basketball. This has been a common theme in xkcd comics: see [[115: Meerkat]], [[1439: Rack Unit]], [[1819: Sweet 16]], [[1552: Rulebook]].
|-
|Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. computer [''sic''] in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
|{{w|Haskell (programming language)|Haskell}} is a functional programming language. Functional programming is characterized by using functions that don't have side effects (can't change things which would be accessible in other parts of the program), as in [[1312: Haskell]]. The joke here is discovering that it does indeed have side-effects, but for some unknown (and highly absurd) reason they only manifest on a specific computer in a nondescript location, but no one has noticed.
|-
|Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
|[[wikipedia:Hypervisor|"Hypervisors"]] are a tool for computer virtualization. Virtualization is complex to implement, as it requires a computer to completely simulate another computer, with its own unique hardware and software. Many IT professionals and businesses rely heavily on various forms of virtualization, but most of the individual employees would be hard-pressed to explain how it works. Programs running on other virtual computers, or on the real computer, may be able to access information on a virtual computer in ways which would not be possible with a single real computer. Consequently, understanding how the hypervisor works is important to assessing the security of a virtual server. Meltdown and Spectre are related to this.
|-
|Critical: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
|This joke is about arcane systems that are running Linux in exceedingly rare situations, meaning that reproducing errors would be incredibly difficult or inconvenient, and would only affect a very tiny user base (if any at all). {{w|IBM System/390 ES/9000 Enterprise Systems Architecture ESA family|System/390}} is an IBM mainframe introduced almost 30 years before this comic, which has a version of Linux. UTC+14 is a time zone used only on some islands in the Pacific Ocean (Primarily [[Wikipedia:Line_Islands|the Line Islands]]) and is also the earliest time zone on earth. Even if all of these absurd conditions were met, the resulting vulnerability would still be relatively benign: simply changing a user's preferred clock display format. Other xkcd comics make references to such obscure computer-time issues relating to time zones and time conversions, and how many programmers find these issues frustrating or even traumatizing.
|-
|x86 has way too many instructions.
|The x86 architecture (used in many Intel and AMD processors) is very complicated. Processors typically implement such a complex architecture using programs (microcode) run on a set of hidden, proprietary processors. The details of these hidden machines and errors in the microcode can result in security vulnerabilities, such as Meltdown, where the physical machine does not match the conceptual machine.

A more complicated instruction set is more complex to implement.{{Citation needed}} The x86 architecture is considered "CISC" (a "{{w|Complex instruction set computer}}"), having many instructions originally provided to make programming by a human simpler; other examples include the 68000 series used in the first {{w|Apple Macintosh}}. In the 1980s, this design philosophy was countered by the "RISC" ("{{w|Reduced instruction set computer}}") design movement - based on the observation that computer programs were increasingly generated by compilers (which only used a few instructions) rather than directly by people, and that the chip area dedicated to extra instructions could be better dedicated to, for example, cache. Examples of RISC style designs include {{w|SPARC}}, {{w|MIPS}}, {{w|PowerPC}} (used by Apple in later Macintoshes) and the {{w|ARM architecture|ARM}} chips common in mobile phones. Historically, there was considerable discussion about the merits of each approach. At one time the Mac and Windows PC were on different sides; owners of other competing systems such as the Archimedes and Amiga had similar arguments on usenet in the early 1990s. This "issue" may be posted by someone who still recalls these debates. Technically, the extra instructions do slightly complicate the task of validating correct chip behaviour and complicate the tool chains that manage software, which could be seen as a minor security risk. However, the 64-bit architecture introduced by {{w|AMD}}, and since adopted by {{w|Intel}}, does rationalise things somewhat, and all recent x86 chips break down instructions into RISC-like micro-operations, so the complication from a hardware perspective is localised. Recent security issues, such as the speculative cache load issue in Meltdown and Spectre, depend more on details of implementation, rather than instruction set, and have been exhibited both by x86 (CISC) and ARM (RISC) processors.

This explanation has way too many words.
|-
|NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in ''O''(log ''n'') time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
|NumPy is the fundamental package for scientific computing with the programming language Python. ''O''(log ''n'') is [[wikipedia:Big_O_notation#Infinite_asymptotics|Big O notation]] meaning that the time it takes for a computer algorithm to run is in the order of log ''n'', for an input of size ''n''. ''O''(log ''n'') is very fast and is more usual for a search algorithm. Prime factorization currently is ''O''(''2''''n''n)). If something can find the prime factors of a number this quickly, especially a [[wikipedia:semiprime|semiprime]] with two large factors, it will enable attacks to break many crypto functions used in internet security. However, prime numbers have only a single factor, and "factoring primes" quickly is a simpler problem, that of [[wikipedia:Primality test|proving that a number is in fact a prime]].
|-
|Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
|Another joke on the first CVE and [[wikipedia:I before E except after C|a common English writing rule of thumb]], which fails almost as often as it succeeds. Possibly a jab at Apple's image, portraying their software as unable to handle improper grammar or spelling.
|-
|Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
|Skylake x86 chips are a line of microprocessors made by Intel. Some processors are soldered directly to a system board or daughter board, while others are attached to boards that plug into the system board by means of a socket (pins or connectors that make physical contact with receptacles or connectors on a system board). Some sockets, especially older ones, require force to insert or remove, and often require the use of a flat blade screwdriver or a specialized tool, but most modern ones use ZIF (Zero Insertion Force) techniques, often involving a lever or similar to tighten or loosen the friction/tightness of the contacts. No screwdriver is needed in this case. However, any processor ''can'' be forcefully removed from its socket with a screwdriver.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
|{{w|Linus Torvalds}} is the benevolent{{Citation needed}} dictator of the Linux kernel codebase. Normally it is hard to make changes because he has the last word, and because the kernel is replicated in all Linux installations. Linus made the news in January 2018 when, having looked at one of Intel's proposed fixes for the Spectre and Meltdown vulnerabilities, he declared "the patches are COMPLETE AND UTTER GARBAGE".<ref>https://techcrunch.com/2018/01/22/linus-torvalds-declares-intel-fix-for-meltdown-spectre-complete-and-utter-garbage/</ref> Presumably, it may be found that he may be successfully bribed to be less blunt and/or less critical of vulnerability fixes that are complete and/or utter garbage. If this were the case, this would be a severe critical vulnerability to all Linux servers and machines.
|-
|An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
|The point of an attack is to make someone else's machine perform actions against the owner's will. Anyone can make their own machine execute any code if they have root access and the necessary tools, but this would usually not be described as an attack, except in the case of a locked-down appliance, such as a video game console, a John Deere tractor, or pay TV decoder.
|-
|Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
|This could refer to a CVE vulnerability of JPG files where JavaScript embedded within the image file is executed by some application. In this case, though, the code is visible on the image instead of invisibly encoded within the image file. The code is also only executed if the image contains a photo of a baby in a saddle riding a dog. It's unclear whether the photo would be a digital photo, a printed photo (i.e. as taken using a digital camera), or maybe both. This "bug" would not only require the device to figure out specifically what the photo contains image-wise (something that's REALLY HARD for computers to do reliably), but would also require OCR (optical character recognition) code to convert the text superimposed on the photo into executable code. In other words, it's hard to believe in 2018 that such a bug could exist. Maybe in the future when such things are more routine...? As an example, OCR used to be hard to do reliably, but now it's a lot more routine and built into a lot of devices.
|-
|Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
|Flash has been an integral browser plugin for decades, but has fallen out of favor in the 2010s, and eventually discontinued because of its notoriously abysmal security record. All security experts advise against installing it. Preventing installation of Flash would make systems more secure, but most versions of Windows do not prevent Flash installation. The joke here relates to the difficulty of keeping Flash up to date, or even installed properly to begin with. A common user experience, which is the subject of numerous jokes and memes, is the constant nagging notification to install or update Flash in order for web pages to display properly. Many IT professionals will bemoan the trouble they have experienced in the workplace due to these notifications and problems related to them.
|-
|Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
|This refers to a meme that demands that "cloud" be replaced with "other people's computers" in all marketing presentation to CEOs and non-computer literate persons evaluating the security impact of using cloud services. Part of the humor here is that "the cloud" is, in actuality, simply a term for hosted services, or in other words computers being run by other people (typically businesses that specialize in this type of "platform as a service" or "PAAS" service model). Referring to "the cloud" as "other people's computers" is, at its core, entirely accurate, though it takes away the business jargon and simplifies the situation in such a way that it might cast doubt on the security, reliability, and general effectiveness of using "cloud" solutions.
|-
|A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[[779|[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]]]
|Mitre's CVE database is where all {{w|Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures|CVEs}} are stored. This log message forms the punchline of the comic, as it implies that all of the exaggerated error messages above might have been inserted by hackers exploiting the vulnerability. To pour salt in the wound, they then included in a typical spam link purporting to offer cheap Viagra.
|-
|It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
|Appears in the title text. {{w|Bruce Schneier}} is security researcher and blogger. The "two kids in a trenchcoat" is a reference to the {{tvtropes|TotemPoleTrench|Totem Pole Trench}} trope. Shortly before this comic was posted, a [https://rare.us/rare-humor/two-kids-dressed-as-a-tall-man-to-get-into-black-panther-is-caught-on-video story went viral] in which two kids were photographed attempting this for real to get into a screening of ''Black Panther''.
|}

== References ==
<references/>

==Transcript==
:[A heading is centered above a list of 21 vulnerabilities]
:<big>Leaked list of major 2018 security vulnerabilities </big>

:CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
:CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
:CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on Third Street, the Post-it note with the WiFi password is visible from the sidewalk.
:CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
:CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 5.5.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
:CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
:CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
:CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
:CVE-2018-????? Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
:CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
:CVE-2018-????? Critical: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
:CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.
:CVE-2018-????? NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in ''O''(log ''n'') time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
:CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
:CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
:CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
:CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
:CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
:CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
:CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
:CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~Click here for cheap viagra~~]

==Trivia==

Randall has previously referenced diacritics in [[1647: Diacritics]].

Bruce Schneier was previously mentioned in the title texts of [[748: Worst-Case Scenario]] and [[1039: RuBisCO]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]

Talk:Main Page

2018-01-31T11:26:00Z

Guest: /* HTTPS? */

{{notice|This page is for discussion of the [[Main Page]] itself. Other issues probably belong at the [[Explain XKCD:Community portal]].}}

As a new user, I think the first page is very important. So I thought why not begin a discussion here what to have on the first page every user visits.--[[User:Relic|Relic]] ([[User talk:Relic|talk]]) 05:59, 1 August 2012 (EDT) Re-signed here - b/c I broke the comment in two when I added the "List of comics" header. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 23:01, 2 August 2012 (EDT)

==List of comics==
I was thinking of having a quick link to the list of comics that is explained. Right know, it took me a while to even see any of them. Eventually I found the "List All Pages" (found it in Special pages) where I could find the comics that have been explained. What do you think?
:A category tag will do that for you automatically. Having a list of comics indexed by its number would be a little different.--[[User:Relic|Relic]] ([[User talk:Relic|talk]]) 05:59, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::Sounds like a great list - I ''think'' it'd have to be manually maintained until/unless we get someone who knows how to make a bot update it. Categories will be useful, but they only work if someone added the category to the page in the first place. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 07:21, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::A (somewhat) related question - should [[:Category:Comics]] be sorted alphabetically or by comic number? --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 07:43, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::::I think [[:Category:Comics]] should be sorted by comic number. If you are looking for a specific comic, you will use the search field. Is there a way to make that happen? --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 08:11, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::::They are two different functions. For the former, instead of adding <nowiki>[[Category:Comics]]</nowiki>, add, say, <nowiki>[[Category:Comics|1]]</nowiki>. For the second, we can create redirects. Normally, I'd say just make sure the search term was in the article text, but since numbers are going to be use for other purposes than just comic titles, it may be better to create [[1]] and [[Comic 1]] as redirects to the relevant articles right off the bat. --08:24, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::::::We could also have a comic-list template on the Main Page, I suppose, or perhaps two - one for number and one for name? --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 08:54, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::::::Here's what I was thinking of for that: {{tl|Comics navbox}} Thoughts? ''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]]
:(outdent) It's ugly, but a sortable wikitable [[User:SurturZ/sandbox|(click here for example)]] could be used as a checklist to see what has been uploaded and what hasn't. What's the project namespace here, anyway (analogue of "WP:")? --[[User:SurturZ|SurturZ]] ([[User talk:SurturZ|talk]]) 03:04, 3 August 2012 (EDT)
:OK, I've found a way to get all the titles of the comics, so I was confident enough to create <big>[[Explain XKCD:Checklist]]</big> which can be used to fill in the gaps. --[[User:SurturZ|SurturZ]] ([[User talk:SurturZ|talk]]) 03:41, 3 August 2012 (EDT)
::I'm liking the checklist! That should do quite nicely as a "tool for editors". (I'm linking to it at the Community Portal). We still need the "template for readers." Did you think {{tl|Comics navbox}} was on the right track or should we do something else for that? --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 20:09, 3 August 2012 (EDT)
::Better idea - I'm throwing it directly onto the Main Page. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 20:10, 3 August 2012 (EDT)

==Admin list==
You can find a system-accurate list of admins [{{canonicalurl:Special:ListUsers|group=sysop}} here], so that might good to share, along with the manual list. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 07:13, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:Added to page. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 08:10, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::That's exactly what I wanted, but couldn't find the auto page for it. I knew it was somewhere. I don't see any reason to keep the link to the manual page. Do you? --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 08:11, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::Not unless you want it. I'll remove it. Should I add the similar link for 'crats or is that unnecessary at this point? --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 08:25, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::::To be honest, I have no idea what the Burecrats role does. Might be unnecessary now but helpful in the future? --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 11:16, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::::Bureaucrats can turn other users into administrators (or indeed, other bureaucrats). That privilege isn't available to ordinary administrators. I'd keep it to yourself for the time being. :-) --[[User:Yirba|Yirba]] ([[User talk:Yirba|talk]]) 17:39, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::::::You can actually see a technical list of which rights each group confers at [[Special:ListGroupRights]]. As the wiki grows, you might want to spin off a few, such as the ability to grant rollbacker and autopatrolled, to admins as some other wikis have. But for the time being, at least, there's really no reason for the wiki to have more than one 'crat. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 17:07, 2 August 2012 (EDT)

== Community portal ==

I've created the [[Explain XKCD:Community portal]] as a tools/help page. If that's not what you want, feel free to change/move/whatever it, but I thought it'd be nice to save this page for discussion of the Main Page and discuss the wiki as a whole/ask for help there. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 08:36, 1 August 2012 (EDT)

== Direct link to latest comic ==

There should be a direct link to the latest comic at the top of the Main page. A nice thing about going to explainxkcd.com was that the latest comic is right there at the top. For those changing their default link to the wiki, there should be an easy "Latest Comic" link that quickly takes them there. I'm sure some folks actually skip xkcd.com and come directly here instead to read the latest offering from Randall. They shouldn't have to search for it.
[[User:Christopher Foxx|- CFoxx]] ([[User talk:Christopher Foxx|talk]]) 11:59, 1 August 2012 (EDT)

: Maybe the page [[latest]] should redirect to the most recent comic? Could that be taken care of by some sort of script/template so it doesn't have to be manually updated? Should each explination page also have "next", "previous", "random", "first" and "latest" links, possibly also generated automatically via scripts/templates? Additionally, shouldn't the number page be the canonical one? It seems like [[Internal monologue]] should redirect to [[1089]] rather than the other way around - certainly it would make a bunch of scripting types of things a lot easier. [[User:J-beda|J-beda]] ([[User talk:J-beda|talk]]) 13:02, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::If you wanted, we could even use wiki-magic to show the title of the page as the Comic name, but the URL as the number - in order to parallel the actual XKCD website. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 17:09, 2 August 2012 (EDT)
:: Shouldn't there be a way to programmatically find the comic with the highest number that has a page with content? That would work as long as no one puts future comic pages up. --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 20:25, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::It's all sounding like folks are over-complicating something quite easy. All I'm suggesting is a prominent link to http://www.xkcd.com/. No need, I think, to list which number the latest is, or include the next/last/random buttons, etc. [[User:Christopher Foxx|- CFoxx]] ([[User talk:Christopher Foxx|talk]]) 11:41, 3 August 2012 (EDT)
::::Oh. We've got that, now, in the sidebar - labeled as "XKCD." I do think that having an internal link to the latest (explained) comic would be a great thing, though. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 16:36, 4 August 2012 (EDT)

You can transclude the latest comic on the main page like this: <nowiki>{{:pagename}} e.g. {{:Internal_monologue}} </nowiki>--[[User:SurturZ|SurturZ]] ([[User talk:SurturZ|talk]]) 00:25, 2 August 2012 (EDT)
: I've started with just a manual link to the latest comic. Ideally it will be automatic, but a manual link will work for now as I've had quite a few people ask for it. --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 21:09, 1 August 2012 (EDT)

Transclusion of the latest comic is great. Someone with the right permissions should add (for instance on the top-right corner of the grey transclusion area) a link to edit the corresponding wiki page, so that people seeing something they could add would feel invited to do so (wiki style). In my opinion this would be a good way to improve the quality of the user-generated explanations.
Also, all the "XKCD"s in the "New here?" section should be converted to the lowercase "xkcd"...
[[User:Cos|Cos]] ([[User talk:Cos|talk]]) 14:00, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
:Good points. I've done both. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 15:48, 6 August 2012 (UTC)

Call me dumb, but... You've got a link called "prev" that goes to the explaination for the previous comic. Then a link called "comic #42" but that goes to xkcd. And then a smaller, less prominent link called "go to this comic" that doesn't go to the comic but to its explaination. Anyone else think that's a little back-to-front? [[User:Zootle|Zootle]] ([[User talk:Zootle|talk]]) 17:18, 31 August 2012 (UTC)
:OK, you're dumb :-). The standard template for an explanation page includes the header with "Prev", "Comic # (date)", and "Next" links. If we don't have explanation pages for the previous or next comic, we don't show the respective link. I hadn't noticed that the "Comic # (date)" bit was a link to the xkcd site before, but in context it makes sense to me. Including a link to the Explain page for the comic who's explain page you are already looking at doesn't make sense.
:The explanation page for the latest comic is "transcluded" in the main page pretty much as-is, so we get the header, the comic, the explanation, etc. We don't get the discussion, which is visible at the bottom of the Explain page. Because there is never an explanation for a comic that hasn't been released yet, there is never a "Next" link on the main page's transcluded header. So you get "Prev" and "Comic" links. The "Go to this comic" link is added by the main page above the transcluded explain page.
:I can see how the "Go to this comic" link might be poorly worded especially as it's placement seems to be within the explanation it's linking to. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 18:16, 31 August 2012 (UTC)
::Rather than "Go to this comic" maybe it could be "Go to full explanation" ? Something else? [[User:J-beda|J-beda]] ([[User talk:J-beda|talk]]) 13:38, 5 September 2012 (UTC)
::There was [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=explain_xkcd:Community_portal/Admin_requests#.22Edit_this_explanation.22_link_on_main_page a discussion at one point] about a wittier/more descriptive link - but no one came up with anything. I do like "Go to Full Explanation" better, for what it's worth. --[[User:DanB|DanB]] ([[User talk:DanB|talk]]) 15:31, 5 September 2012 (UTC)
:::My problem with that suggestion is that it implies that the main page explanation is not full. As of right now, the full explanation is transcluded on the main page. There's nothing more to see by clicking that link (explanation wise) Perhaps "Go to full explanation page" but that doesn't quite sound right to me... [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 15:42, 7 September 2012 (UTC)
::::How about "Go to this Comic Explanation Page"? One nice thing about the specific page rather than the [[Main_Page]] transcoding is that it nicely includes the discussion as well. I have a bookmark to the [[Main_Page]] that I look at every day, but I want to easily read the discussions, not only the explanation. Humm, maybe we could have a page [[most recent comic]] that automagically redirects to the most recent comic? [[User:J-beda|J-beda]] ([[User talk:J-beda|talk]]) 12:42, 8 September 2012 (UTC)
:::::I tried to get [[most recent comic]] to redirect to LATESTCOMIC, but can't get the syntax working - it is possible? [[User:J-beda|J-beda]] ([[User talk:J-beda|talk]]) 13:03, 8 September 2012 (UTC)
::::::Apparently it isn't. I would have tried <code><nowiki>#REDIRECT [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}]]</nowiki></code> like you did, but since that doesn't work, I'll delete the page for now. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 16:38, 20 November 2012 (UTC)

== Discussion of latest comic ==
Perhaps include the discussions of the latest comic here? I almost missed there was a discussion field a few times because I would only read about the latest comic on the main page. [[User:Carewolf|Carewolf]] ([[User talk:Carewolf|talk]]) 14:54, 22 September 2012 (UTC)

This comics's explanation is complete bollocks, I think. Of course it is NOT a "fact that such a room exists". This comics parodies trope often used in cop movies - an elderly cop goes to work for the last time before his retirement, packs things, plans fishing the next day ... only to be called to one more case (possibly with a new, young and brash partner). And despites his efforts not to screw anything and stay clear of danger, he is either mortally wounded or screws big time and is degraded. So much clichè, that if someone says "It's my last day or service", you might be sure one of the two options above happens. See http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Retirony [[User:edheldil|Edheldil]] 10:17, 26 September 2012 (UTC)

I believe this link maybe relevant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtle_graphics {{unsigned|Rhudi}}

I went ahead and filled out the bracket from today's (see edit date) comic: http://m.imgur.com/gallery/WyPkHx2 {{unsigned|Glaucon81}}

*rise

Btw, why wouldn't I just enter "ipconfig free" if I didn't want my IP address showing? {{unsigned ip|172.68.65.48}}

== The comic explanation count is wrong ==

The adjustment is currently 3, but there are now 6 subcategories and one list making the current correct adjustment 7.
If the wiki was upgraded to version 1.20, a form exists to automatically exclude subcategories.
--[[User:Divad27182|Divad27182]] ([[User talk:Divad27182|talk]]) 09:56, 8 October 2012 (UTC)

:Looks like another week of the wiki going down then.
:But seriously, I've been noticing this too. Didn't know what was causing it, but it's going to have to be fixed sometime.[[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]] ([[User talk:Davidy22|talk]]) 10:25, 8 October 2012 (UTC)

::The text reads <pre><nowiki>We already have [[:Category:Comics|'''{{#expr:{{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-3}}''' comic explanations]]!</nowiki></pre> The -3 is to account for the subcategories and non-explanation pages in the category. There apparently used to be three such pages, and now there are seven. I would fix this myself, but the page is protected. If the wiki where upgraded to version 1.20, the categories could be explicitly excluded, but the [[List of all comics]] would still be in the category. (Note that the -3 actually appears twice.) --[[User:Divad27182|Divad27182]] ([[User talk:Divad27182|talk]]) 05:03, 11 October 2012 (UTC)

:::Mediawiki 1.20 fixes this issue, although it'd be nice if this could be fixed in the meantime via the hack reccommended by divad. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 06:40, 16 November 2012 (UTC)

:Looks like Waldir updated the "Comic Correction Count" to "10" (as of 20 November 2012):
<nowiki> We already have [[:Category:Comics|'''{{#expr:{{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-10}}''' comic explanations]]!</big>
Note: the -10 in the calculation above is to discount subcategories (there are 7 of them as of 20 November 2012),
non-comic pages (2 as of same date: [[List of all comics]] and [[Exoplanet]])
and the comic 404, which was deliberately not posted. Thus 7 + 2 + 1 = 10
(But there are still {{#expr:{{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-10)}} to go. Come and [[List of all comics|add yours]]!)</nowiki>
:Could we possibly make this more dynamic by creating a "IGNORE_IN_COUNT" category or something? and then using something like: <nowiki>{#expr:{{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-{{PAGESINCAT:IGNORE_IN_COUNT}}}</nowiki>? Then any additional entries to the "Comics" category (that are 'special' entries) could just have the special category added and no main page editing would be necessary? --[[User:Bpothier|B. P.]] ([[User talk:Bpothier|talk]]) 07:50, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

==Make Jeff stop apologizing==
The apology for server downtime has been around for a while now. Can we take it down? [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]] ([[User talk:Davidy22|talk]]) 04:41, 11 October 2012 (UTC)

== Spambots ==

I think someone should install [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:AbuseFilter AbuseFilter]. --[[User:Kronf|Kronf]] ([[User talk:Kronf|talk]]) 10:09, 13 October 2012 (UTC)

== Purge ==

We should regularly purge the server's cache for the main page using http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page&action=purge to keep the explanation up to date. --[[User:Kronf|Kronf]] ([[User talk:Kronf|talk]]) 02:28, 3 November 2012 (UTC)

== Updating the Rules ==

I've been having a lovely discussion with someone who apparently thought the "edit anything you want" rule applied to the Talk pages. As we don't have any codified rules for ''here'' and can only point to "well the canonical way this is done on Wikipedia is..." I think that there are a few things we need to put into the list of Rules on the front page, and then have a link to a more in-depth talk about why the rules exist and what-not.

Specifically, I'm talking about writing "Feel free to edit any page on the wiki to be better. But, treat talk pages like you would blog comments: comments by other people ''cannot be changed by you'', you can only respond to them." as a new rule to be plastered on the front page, as there seems to be an increasing number social neophytes that seem to think that editing words that are attributed as being said by another person is perfectly legitimate and non-controversial.

Shall we discuss? [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 01:25, 15 November 2012 (UTC)

:We could add the etiquette rules as an addendum to the signature reminder at the top of the page. Just an extra note below the alert box asking people to not edit other people's comments. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 06:40, 16 November 2012 (UTC)

::It really should be right down with the "edited mercilessly" description, because this is an exception to that statement. Shouldn't have two sets of contradictory instructions in different places. When I made my improper edit, I had a semi-conscious moment of doubt about whether changing the other guy's comment was ok, even though this is a wiki (and even though it wasn't really clear to me that this "discussion" box held something totally separate from the page content), but that statement at the bottom put all such doubts to rest. I read it multiple times to be sure. But I did not notice that line at the top about the four tildes until ''much'' later. It's somewhat lost, visually, in the header line, when you're not looking directly at it.[[Special:Contributions/50.0.38.245|50.0.38.245]] 18:32, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

:::There's discussion to replace that message with a more noticeable alert box. The message at the bottom of the page appears for all pages, including talk pages, so a talk-page specific message there would not entirely fit. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 00:18, 19 November 2012 (UTC)

::::If that text at the bottom is in fact alterable, it should be written to take every case into account. It's an extremely poor user interface that has instructions appearing on a page stating rules that are the exact opposite of reality. And note that the altert box on the top looks a lot like a banner add, when you don't focus on it and read it. People will tend to habitually filter out anything written there from their perception. Also, it can easily be scrolled off the top of the screen when the discussion starts to get long, and they have a preview displayed.
::::So I think after the "...then do not submit it here.", it should add, "'''Exception''': others' comments in Discussion pages are not to be altered. See full rules at <<link to appropriate wikipedia page>>."[[Special:Contributions/50.0.38.245|50.0.38.245]] 15:46, 28 November 2012 (UTC)

== Update after changes ==

The front page explanation hasn't been updated at all day to match changes in the explanation on the comic's page. This is a major problem i think, as it is the front page explanation people visitors will most often read. --[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 20:43, 26 November 2012 (UTC)
: It might be a caching issue. Appending <code>&action=purge</code> to the URL will probably fix it. Can you confirm it looks good to you now? --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 00:29, 27 November 2012 (UTC)
::Yep, now it updates instantly! Well done, whatever you did! :) --[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 16:24, 27 November 2012 (UTC)

:::I've also added a link underneath the comic box that has the action embedded, so no one has to do any manual URL hacking. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 17:38, 11 December 2012 (UTC)

::::Just wanted to check in on this - are there issues with automated systems or spammers following this link? I know it can affect performance - caching is important on a busy site! --[[User:Overand|Overand]] ([[User talk:Overand|talk]]) 22:37, 13 September 2013 (UTC)

== Suggestion: Change "Go to this comic" to "Go to this entry" ==

Just a small suggestion. For the Main Page, I suggest changing "Go to this comic" to say "Go to this ''entry''" instead to remove any confusion for new and regular viewers. It certainly took me a while to figure how to go to each featured comic's entry from the main page.

[[Special:Contributions/69.43.114.2|69.43.114.2]] 17:04, 11 December 2012 (UTC)

:How about if it reads "Go to this comic explanation"? Would that be less confusing? I only quibble because the explanations aren't really entries, in wiki parlance each page is usually called an article, but that doesn't seem to fit here as we really have explanation pages. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 17:41, 11 December 2012 (UTC)

::Agreed. [[User:Ctxppc|Randy Marsh]] ([[User talk:Ctxppc|talk]]) 22:55, 8 January 2013 (UTC)

== Explain the Unreleased Comic? ==
:I wonder if [[http://i56.tinypic.com/a9ton8.png this comic]] is permitted to be explained, despite the double issue of Randall pulling the comic plus me finding the pulled comic through "xkcd overrated"... [[User:Greyson|Greyson]] ([[User talk:Greyson|talk]]) 18:21, 12 December 2012 (UTC)

== Comic 1156 ==

I don't have an account to edit the page directly, so here's an edit someone should make:
It looks like whoever wrote the existing page simply googled 'conditioning' and found the first link that came up.
Please modify the link to point to 'Classical conditioning', not 'Operant conditioning'.
Thanks. {{unsigned ip|124.191.56.91|05:26, 7 January 2013‎ (UTC)}}

:Hi. This is the talk page for the main page of the wiki. This page only has a "view" of the actual comic explanation. The actual explanation page is at [[1156: Conditioning]], and I assure you, edit permissions have not been restricted for that page. Someone has already changed the page to link to Classical conditioning, but the original editor came back stating that Operant was correct. If you would like to start a discussion about this [[Talk:1156: Conditioning|on the talk page for this explanation]] that would be much more conducive to getting this matter settled. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 05:52, 7 January 2013 (UTC)

== Comic Links ==

Some of the links seem to be confusing, as they're titled in a weird way. The link/button 'go to this comic', I'd expect would go to the actual comic on XKCD's page. Yet it goes to the comic's wiki page. And clicking on the comic # and date directs you to the XKCD page, yet I really feel that link should go to the wiki page, as it's right at the top center there, and has the date and everything, sort of indicating that it's a wiki page, yet it's not. And the prev and next buttons next to it don't go to the xkcd page, they go to the wiki pages. Which is really messed up, I think. Because of my confusion, every single time I visit here, I clicked on the wrong link, though now I've gotten used to it. I suggest rewording the links as 'XKCD Comic # and date' and 'go to this comic's wiki page'. And possibly switching the links' positions so that the wiki links could be in that navigation bar and the XKCD links could be off to the side. After all, we are a wiki, so putting our wiki links to the comic off to the side and the direct xkcd link in the center seems odd. Anyway, has anyone had the same thoughts and/or agree with me on this?--[[Special:Contributions/69.119.250.251|69.119.250.251]] 18:19, 9 January 2013 (UTC)

== Unexplained comics ==

The template that starts each explanation page should be edited to have the next and previous buttons automatically skip over pages that don't exist, rather than simply not being there if comic n+1 or n-1 doesn't exist. Preferably it would append a notice to the next page (like the redirect notices commonly found on mediawiki) telling you how many comics have been skipped. I'm not sure how feasible this would be to script, however. [[Special:Contributions/130.160.145.185|130.160.145.185]] 23:45, 9 March 2013 (UTC)

== Percentage of remaining comics calculation is off... ==

Okay, I hate to be "that pedantic math guy", but... Today the main page reads "We have collaboratively explained 936 xkcd comics, and only 252 (27%) remain." While I agree that 252/936 is roughly 27%, I believe we should really be calculating the percentage as "the number left to explain" divided by "the total number of comics that exist", not divided by "the number we have finished". That is (today), 252/1188=21%. Think about it. If we had completed 594 comics today, with 594 remaining, what should the percentage be? 594/594=100%? That's not right... 594/1188=50%? That's what we really want to say.

The page is protected, which makes sense. So I'll make my suggestion here.

Change this:

<pre>
and only {{#expr:{{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9)}}
({{#expr: ({{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9)) / ({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9) * 100 round 0}}%)
remain.
</pre>
To this:
<pre>
and only {{#expr:{{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9)}}
({{#expr: ({{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9)) / {{#expr:{{LATESTCOMIC}}}} * 100 round 0}}%)
remain.
</pre>
[[User:Imperpay|Imperpay]] ([[User talk:Imperpay|talk]]) 15:32, 20 March 2013 (UTC)

:Done and done. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|purple|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 15:37, 20 March 2013 (UTC)

:Thanks for the heads-up! However, notice that the #expr: around LATESTCOMIC was unnecessary. I've removed it. [[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 11:30, 21 March 2013 (UTC)

::Waldir, you have exposed me as a charlatan and a fool! (I just copied, pasted, and tinkered until I made something that worked. I don't actually understand it. No formal training, you see. It's what we used to call "hacking" back in the dawn of the digital era, before the word took on connotations of vandalism, trespassing, and fraud. Have you kids come up with another word for it?) [[User:Imperpay|Imperpay]] ([[User talk:Imperpay|talk]]) 13:59, 22 March 2013 (UTC)

::: Joke's on me then, 'cause you sure fooled me – I readily assumed you knew your way around those parser functions. Nice job hacking the code, it was a nearly perfect crime ;) --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 03:26, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

:::I've heard the cool kids call that the "Maker Mentality", usually with a reference to [http://makezine.com/ Make magazine] and [http://makerfaire.com/ Maker Faire]. But I think there's also a movement to resurrect the original meaning of hacker. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 04:21, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

==sidebar ads?==
''Moved to [[explain xkcd:Community portal/Proposals]] –– [[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 08:06, 4 May 2013 (UTC)''

== Expression error on Main Page ==

Please use <code><nowiki>{{PAGESINCAT:...|R}}</nowiki></code> instead of <code><nowiki>{{PAGESINCAT:...}}</nowiki></code> to correct these errors :) --[[Special:Contributions/110.168.83.62|110.168.83.62]] 10:55, 8 April 2013 (UTC)
:Dun diddly done. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 11:21, 8 April 2013 (UTC)

== Compile a list of non-technical comics to non-technical readers? ==

I'm a long-time reader and fan of >< |< C |}, but my normal approach is useless when I introduce this provocative comic series to my less technical friends. They stay at the apparent level of many comics. They don't bother reading the explanations, but they would say, "it's hard to make sense". Imagine an average non-technical (and non-arts) major guy/girl, can we compile a list of state-of-the-art but less-technical, easy-to-comprehend but "ah ha!!" strips that is suitable for them? --[[User:FrenzY|W shll nvr flly xpln xkcd!]] ([[User talk:FrenzY|talk]]) 12:39, 18 May 2013 (UTC)
:Oh my god that signature.
:Gaah, derailment. Uh, pretty much anything that isn't tagged with the physics or math categories are easy enough to understand for the average English speaker, so just check the categories at the bottom of the page for that. Also, avoid comics with the incomplete tag, and that oughta be fine. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 14:41, 18 May 2013 (UTC)

== Quit building? ==
''This post was moved to [[Talk:1214: Geoguessr]].''

:Hello, this is the talk page for the content of the front page of the wiki, not for discussion of the most recent comic, that happens [[Talk:1214: Geoguessr|here]]. I've moved your post over there for you. Cheers, and welcome to explain xkcd! [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 05:09, 22 May 2013 (UTC)

== List of incomplete comics ==
We need a link to the "Incomplete articles" at the main page below the "Missing link". Most pages are created but many are incomplete.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 19:06, 7 June 2013 (UTC)

== Header message ==

'''Please don't take this seriously unless you actually think it's a good idea:'''

I think the header should be changed from "explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb." to "explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb... or still have some hope that comic [[1190]] will end." or something similar. [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 14:53, 9 June 2013 (UTC)

::Nope! This page is trying to explain more than 1222 comics, not only [[1190: Time]]. The header just states the truth.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 15:49, 9 June 2013 (UTC)

I'd vote for a change. People have started coming over to discuss the comic even when they've 'gotten' it. That, and the fact that this is one step ahead of Googling the references yourself. So.. maybe, "it's because you're dumb..and lazy."[[Special:Contributions/220.224.246.97|220.224.246.97]] 02:26, 31 August 2013 (UTC)
:I honestly don't think it either. This is the most comprehensive comic-by-comic Wiki. People don't come here because they're dumb ''or'' lazy. That's like saying I'm dumb for reading a review of an episode after I've watched it - I'm interested in seeing what other people up with or caught that I didn't. It denigrates the idea of aggregating information, which is a very un-XKCD idea.

As a regular reader of explainxkcd (who was to lazy to cotribute anything until now), I'd like to support the proposed edit. (... and lazy) It really fits to the tone of our favourite waste of otherwise productive time (which is xkcd for myself). Best wishes from Heidelberg, Germany. --[[Special:Contributions/147.142.13.86|147.142.13.86]] 14:38, 10 October 2013 (UTC)

A friend that happens to be blind hates this site because of the "It's cause you're dumb" tagline. If he wants a transcript of the comic on xkcd, his option is to come here and have his screen reader program telling him that he is dumb every single time.

How about, "explain xkcd: because sometimes we all need a little help."? -- [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.65|173.245.54.65]] 02:07, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

:Oh, hadn't thought about that. There's been recurring complaints about this over the years, though the tagline's been around since before we were a wiki. I'll write something up and put this to a vote. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 09:00, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

== A point of confusion ==

Why is 'Apatosaurus' a category but 'Internet Argument' no longer a category? [[User:Greyson|Greyson]] ([[User talk:Greyson|talk]]) 13:53, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
:Cuz people hit the random button, see an Apatosaurus feature in three comics and figure it must be a recurring theme. Same as the internet argument thing. Will get round to a category purge after we've cleared out all the incomplete tags. I think there's one for ferrets hidden away somewhere in the dark recesses of our catalog of categories. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 14:45, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
::On the subject, can I suggest a "Barred from Conferences" category, or similar? That's definitely a recurring theme (for a long, long time), and thus should be justified enough. I'd be happy to add various qualifying articles as I scroll through again, if I can, but first I'll leave it up to someone else to solidify the actual name. (In case it turns out not to be just conferences, for example.) [[Special:Contributions/178.98.31.27|178.98.31.27]] 16:27, 22 June 2013 (UTC)

== Incomplete comics statement ==

I suggest the minor change: "We have an explanation for all x xkcd comics, and only y (y/x %) are '''marked as''' incomplete." –[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 08:07, 21 June 2013 (UTC)

== 1262 is out ==

So what are you waiting for? [[Special:Contributions/75.60.27.102|75.60.27.102]] 06:25, 9 September 2013 (UTC)
:<nowiki>(diff | hist) . . N 1262: Unquote‎; 06:23, 9 September 2013 (UTC) . . (+322)‎ . . ‎Davidy22 (Talk | contribs | block)‎ (Created page with "{{comic | number = 1262 | date = September 9, 2013 | title = Unquote | image = unquote.png | titletext = I guess it's a saying from the Old Country. }} ==Expl...")</nowiki>
:Examine the time stamps. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 06:30, 9 September 2013 (UTC)

== Adverts ==

I am not going to disable my adblock, I hate ads. If you accept bitcoin I can make a donation though. [[Special:Contributions/184.66.160.91|184.66.160.91]] 05:24, 27 September 2013 (UTC)
:Our ads are always easy-to-load images as opposed to flash ads, they're always pointing to some valuable product of some form and we've looked at and approved all of them. They also occupy space that would otherwise have been empty, as our one ad is bound strictly to the sidebar. We used to have a paypal donation button, but it was pitifully tended to and a much less reliable source of income than ads. Ads are the only reliable business model for small sites like this one; unless our readers suddenly become willing to pay all our server costs for us, we can't feasibly afford a better hosting plan without ads. We legally aren't allowed to open a merch store, because that infringes on Randall's shop, and we haven't had a single generous benefactor yet. If you want to stop seeing our server error messages, loosening up adblock for us and contributing to our impressions count will help us massively. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 06:00, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

I don't care about your server message, I wanted to make a donation. Sooo, you don't want any bitcoins? [[Special:Contributions/37.221.161.235|37.221.161.235]] 07:16, 27 September 2013 (UTC)
:This took a bit of digging. We're fine with bitcoin donations, it's just that at the rate donations came in, they were just not enough to pay for anything. [https://coinbase.com/checkouts/b19f921822ac962807a8f72d51509e59] '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 20:34, 28 September 2013 (UTC)

Donation made! [[Special:Contributions/184.66.160.91|184.66.160.91]] 23:23, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
:Thanks! '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 02:27, 1 October 2013 (UTC)

Am I the only one that feels it is "wrong" that the explainxkcd site has ads and the real xkcd doesn't have any? It feels like someone is profiting off of Randall's work. Does he officially endorse this website? Do any proceeds help go to support his ongoing publication of an awesome comic? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.19|173.245.54.19]] 16:01, 7 July 2015 (UTC)

:An admin will be able to give you more detail than me, but explainxkcd has a significant number of visitors (and thus hosting costs), and no way to generate income other than donations and ads. In contrast, Randall makes money from his comics by way of books and merchandise (and possibly public speaking), some of which will pay for his hosting. He could choose to have ads on his site to generate additional income, its his choice not to. I have no knowledge of the finances of explainxkcd, however I doubt there is much/any surplus ad revenue being pocketed by the owners/admin. As far as the site being officially endorsed, not as far as I'm aware, no.
:Also, for more discussion on adverts/income, see [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/explain_xkcd:Community_portal/Proposals#Sidebar_ads here].--[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 16:21, 7 July 2015 (UTC)

== /wiki is returning a 403 ==

Hello, 
http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/ is returning a 403 now. In my eyes you should redirect it to the main-page instead :-). --[[User:DaB.|DaB.]] ([[User talk:DaB.|talk]]) 12:41, 8 November 2013 (UTC)
:We have a new, hopefully better, server. The problem is already reported to [[User_talk:Jeff#Forbidden]] --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 14:22, 8 November 2013 (UTC)

== Explain Explain XKCD / Explain^2 XKCD ==

This particular comic explanation requires explanation. Way too many potential cross references with each conjecture requiring its own explanation page. Dial it back a little. {{unsigned ip|108.162.245.11}}
:Uh, sorry, could you clarify that a little? '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 07:23, 19 November 2013 (UTC)

::He is talking about the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/ http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/] issue. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 21:32, 19 November 2013 (UTC)
:::Well if it's that, that's an intentional permissions setting on a URL that no-one is feasibly going to type. Unless you can come up with a better use for that URL, with a reason? '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 08:40, 20 November 2013 (UTC)
::::A symlink to "index.php" at the root folder would solve the problem.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 09:26, 20 November 2013 (UTC)
:::::I cannot believe how many weeks that took to fix. Amazing. No one was going to type it, but everyone was going to get redirected to it from the home page! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.222.227|108.162.222.227]] 11:37, 20 November 2013 (UTC)

The problem is still not solved. [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/ http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/] gives still a 403 error because "index.php" is not included in the http server configuration as a default index page. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 20:07, 20 November 2013 (UTC)
:: I've fixed this. Sorry about the delay. Was super busy! --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 16:02, 21 November 2013 (UTC)
:::Thanks Jeff, it's working. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 22:20, 21 November 2013 (UTC)

== Webmaster: Obtrusive video ad on your site ==

In the ad section I saw a box sticking out and blocking out the explanation. This was therefore a very obtrusive botched video ad. Please remove this ad from your site. [[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.188|199.27.128.188]] 22:29, 6 June 2014 (UTC)

EDIT: It's now sticking out and preventing me from clicking on the "Save page" button. [[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.188|199.27.128.188]] 22:29, 6 June 2014 (UTC)
:We only accept GIFs for moving ads. Ads should also be contained within the sidebar as they're techonogically restricted to standard-sized PNGs and GIFs, so an extruding ad would be a CSS error on the site end/browser error. In addition, we run ads from lots of advertisers, and "this ad" is not specific enough to tell us which ad you want us to remove. Could you provide a screenshot/link/more information? '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 22:54, 6 June 2014 (UTC)

== Adding an arcs list page ==

I think there should be a page listing all webcomics arcs so far (the red spiders, the race, etc.)[[Special:Contributions/188.114.102.134|188.114.102.134]] 12:47, 2 October 2014 (UTC)

:This already exists, see [[:Category:Comic series]]. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 05:39, 10 April 2015 (UTC)

== This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: link ==

This has been bothering me for a while now. Why does the link in the info box for the main page link to editing the main page? It needs to link to the editing of the page which the comic's explanation is on. When I would like to edit the latest XKCD explanation, I click that thinking I am going to edit the explanation, but instead I am led to editing the main page. [[User:Auraxangelic|Auraxangelic]] ([[User talk:Auraxangelic|talk]]) 15:19, 24 October 2014 (UTC)
:Ooooooh, nice catch. I've actually never noticed that before, and it's definitely not intentional. It happens because the text of the explanation page is folded into the main page before mediawiki parses links and syntax, and the "Edit this page" button links to the page that the link is on. I have an idea for how to fix it though, so I'll get on that. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 01:49, 25 October 2014 (UTC)

== #1454 - bad description ==

"Curly-hair states longingly..." She comes across as disappointed (or even heartbroken), not "longing", which suggests sounding somewhat positive and energetic, rather than deflated. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.88|141.101.99.88]] 22:29, 2 December 2014 (UTC)

==Cueball/Rob merge==

It seems to me from a general reading of the comics that Randall has always intended for the character we here call "Cueball" to have the name "Rob". Much as "Cutie" was renamed "Megan" when we learned her name, and now she is identified as "Megan" even in comics where her name is not explicitly mentioned, I think we should consider merging the "Cueball" and "Rob" articles. I know there's a lot of inertia here, but it seems to me that this is Randall's intention for the character's name. [[User:Djbrasier|Djbrasier]] ([[User talk:Djbrasier|talk]]) 13:38, 10 March 2015 (UTC)
: Alternatively, we should un-merge [[Megan]] and [[Cutie]] for consistency. [[User:Djbrasier|Djbrasier]] ([[User talk:Djbrasier|talk]]) 14:50, 10 March 2015 (UTC)
: I'm pretty sure this is an augmentation of the author's internal characters, including the one he has developed involuntarily as to the nature of his love. His memory of his love is not his love, yet it is what he has to love. Randall seems the type to delve into this, and thus I am in support of keeping the character names as they stand. /eof [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.185|173.245.56.185]] 05:43, 25 March 2015 (UTC)

== Kerbal Space Program ==

I'm a schizophrenic who's been playing Kerbal Space Program for about five days with no sleep, and I'm pretty sure this is a reference to [https://www.google.com/search?q=xkcd+kerbal+space+program&oq=xkcd+kerbal+space+program&aqs=chrome..69i57.10851j0j7&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=122&ie=UTF-8 comic 1365] :D [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.185|173.245.56.185]] 05:39, 25 March 2015 (UTC)

== 1509 is missing ==

When will it be added? By bot, I presume.--[[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 04:51, 8 April 2015 (UTC)

== Broken Date Box on comics ==

The "Comic #1511 (April 13, 2015)" textbox that appears on top of each comic breaks if you shrink the screen. I think the space after the comma needs to be replaced with a non breaking space.{{unsigned ip|108.162.238.144}}

:Is it fixed now? '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 20:59, 13 April 2015 (UTC)

::It looks like it. I had pointed it out once before and it was fixed. I guess somebody reverted that change or something... --[[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.202|173.245.56.202]] 13:42, 15 April 2015 (UTC)

== 1515? ==

Is it correct that we have 1515 comics, as of April 15, 2015? --[[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.122|173.245.48.122]] 05:20, 15 April 2015 (UTC)
:It's not, but some people insist on making comic pages for things that aren't comics. I'll fix that. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 06:27, 15 April 2015 (UTC)

== 972 is broken ==

Look, I'm not going to make an account here or anything, but I just wanted to point out that trying to access the page for comic #972 leads to a database error, and maybe someone should check on that. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.102|173.245.48.102]] 07:45, 14 July 2015 (UTC)

Actually a lot of other pages lead to that same error as well... Even the 'Technical Diskussions' sub-page is broken. Seems to my, like some swap-spac needs cleaning up? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.230.83|108.162.230.83]] 10:32, 14 July 2015 (UTC)
:Yep. It's a symptom of another problem, but the errors should be cleared up now. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:31, 14 July 2015 (UTC)
::No dice. [[997]] is still broken. --[[Special:Contributions/198.41.235.119|198.41.235.119]] 00:27, 3 August 2015 (UTC)

:::Looks like they're working now. 21:01, 2016-11-27 {{unsigned ip|141.101.98.163}}

== #1567 ==

I think the current explanation is missing the connection, and the parody of, many "As Seen On TV" commercials selling kitchen products. Many of these commercials show people trying to use common kitchen equipment (pots, pans, can openers, etc) in a way that no normally functioning human would do it (for example, one has a lady draining the liquid from a pot of food into a sink in an extremely awkward manner — one that no normal person who has ever seen a kitchen would do — but then the lid flies one way, food goes another, there's a huge mess, etc; another commercial has someone trying to open a can of food using a can opener '''backwards''', with the woman looking extremely confused looking on how the can opener is supposed to be used or attached to the can [if you told someone act like they are a clueless monkey trying to use a can opener for the first time, that's basically what the commercial had the woman doing — no joke]). These commercials often begin with phrases such as "If you are like me" or "If you are like most home makers" or some other closely related "If you are like..." phrase (thus this comic is directly tieing itself to these commercials using this catch phrase). [[Special:Contributions/108.162.220.11|108.162.220.11]] 07:50, 21 August 2015 (UTC)
:: Other opening catch phrases for these commercials include the "Tired of [fill-in made-up frustration]" and the "Do you [fill-in made-up frustration]" kind. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.220.11|108.162.220.11]] 08:09, 21 August 2015 (UTC)

== "I used Google news BEFORE it was clickbait" ==

Go to a handful of older pages on this wiki, and it won't be long before you see this phrase in the comments - [[941: Depth Perception]], for instance has two of them. Does anyone know why this happens? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.116|108.162.221.116]] 10:59, 23 August 2015 (UTC)
:That's the signature of a person who used to post here. If you click through, it actually goes to a userpage. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 14:25, 23 August 2015 (UTC)

== URL ==

I notice that whenever you add "explain" to an xkcd url, it takes you here! neat! [[Special:Contributions/198.41.235.233|198.41.235.233]] 23:13, 28 August 2015 (UTC)
:Someone noticed! Finally! '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 04:45, 29 August 2015 (UTC)

== Should we really be using CC-BY-SA? ==

Don't get me wrong, CC-BY-SA is my favorite creative commons license. The problem is, are we really allowed? The reason I'm worried is that I'm not sure if what we are doing really counts as "fair use" with respect to XKCD. It would probably be better to do CC-NC-BY-SA, to respect XKCD, or at least put a note that CC-BY-SA only covers the wiki portion (since it's probably too late to do CC-BY-SA anyway).
[[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.37|173.245.54.37]] 23:38, 27 January 2016 (UTC)
:This is a tough one. Mediawiki sites generally use CC-BY-SA, even if the content they're based off is copyrighted (Wikia sites for various topics do this). The license only does apply to content ''created'' here. What should probably be done, if it isn't already, is some specification on pages in the <code>File:</code> namespace indicating that they are owned by someone other than the owners of this site. [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 19:37, 7 April 2016 (UTC)

== #1663: Garden not yet added? ==

For me it's 4:30 AM, 4/4/16 - I have a sleep schedule just like [https://xkcd.com/361/], so I've been first on quite a few xkcd explanations immediately. when they came out.
I notice that usually, immediately once a new xkcd comic is released, a bot generates a corresponding bare-bones page on this wiki. However, this new comic "1663: Garden" doesn't yet have an automatically-generated page. Maybe it's because of the strange user-session hash key that appears in the URL bar when the "comic" is interacted with? Maybe this sort of interactive thing messes with the bot?
Am I just being impatient? Do I have to wait a few minutes? (I'm going to bed, and this probably won't be seen until tomorrow, but I am at least interested in knowing how the bot system works.) [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.21|173.245.54.21]] 09:01, 4 April 2016 (UTC)

== Skins broken ==

It seems both the Classic and Monobook skins are very very broken. Only Vector seems to be laid out normally. [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 19:39, 7 April 2016 (UTC)
: Yes, for me too. Let me see what can be done. [[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 20:10, 12 April 2016 (UTC)
::All calls to /load.php seem to fail, which results in the broken look. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.86.167|162.158.86.167]] 11:02, 14 April 2016 (UTC)
:::Oh wow, I thought I was the only one. [[User:SuperSupermario24|Just some random derp]] 15:57, 8 May 2016 (UTC)
::::Should be fixed now. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 18:59, 17 May 2016 (UTC)

== #1682: Not sure about the reference for Russian meaning for Bun ==
''Also interesting to note is that in several Slavic languages (including Russian, Czech and Polish), the word for Rabbit literally means Little King''

I'm a native Russian speaker, and i've never heard of Rabbit being used for ''Little King''...

* Rabbit: ''krolik'' (кролик)
* Little King: ''korolyok'' (королёк)

Not sure if this above statement is correct for Russian language. {{unsigned ip|162.158.255.28}}
:This is the main page. You probably want to put this in [[Talk:1682: Bun]]'''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:36, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

== Random Button ==
The actual xkcd site has one and adding one would make it closer to the actual site and make discovering random comics and their explanations easier. It could go next to the comic # button.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.69|173.245.52.69]] 01:03, 5 June 2016 (UTC)
:There is a random page button on the left. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 02:36, 5 June 2016 (UTC)
::Oh. Didn't see that. Sorry.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.69|173.245.52.69]] 20:16, 5 June 2016 (UTC)

== XKCD Alignment Chart ==

A while back, I was searching for an XKCD alignment chart, with no success, so I made one. It is not perfect, so I'm wondering what other opinions on the alignment of the characters are.

Lawful Good- Beret

Neutral Good- Ponytail

Chaotic Good- Mrs. Roberts

Lawful Neutral-Cueball

Neutral Neutral- Megan

Chaotic Neutral- White hat

Lawful Evil- Hairy

Neutral Evil- Danish

Chaotic Evil- Black Hat

--[[User:Fallencrow305|Fallencrow305]] ([[User talk:Fallencrow305|talk]]) 22:10, 28 July 2016 (UTC)

:What about Help I'm trapped in a drivers license factory Elaine Roberts? --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 15:48, 29 September 2016 (UTC)
::Or Hairbun? Or Science Girl? Here are my predictions: Elaine - Chaotic Good, Hairbun - Lawful Good, Science Girl - Lawful Neutral --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 16:00, 29 September 2016 (UTC)

== 1713 cc also means carbon copy. So 50 carbon copies of either of those words could be called for. ==

1713 cc also means carbon copy. So 50 carbon copies of either of those words could be called for. {{unsigned ip|108.162.215.146}}
:Sorry, but [[User:108.162.215.146|108.162.215.146]], you need to remember to sign your work. --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 11:50, 26 September 2016 (UTC)

== Chatroom Idea... What do you guys think? ==
I have an idea. What if there was a discussion board for the wiki? (And no, I don't mean boards like this or the "comment section" of comic explanations. I mean a live chatroom plugin of sorts. We could add it to the website and enable it so we can talk to each other in real-time and make live edits with each other. This way, we can also let each other know of edits we've made, make new pages altogether, or just talk. What do you guys think? -- [[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 9:10, 13 September 2016
:The [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Special:RecentChanges recent changes] log already notifies all users on the site of new pages and edits. User talk pages and the community portals exist for coordination. Also, avoid creating new comment topics in the middle of a talk page in the future, comments are supposed to follow a chronological order. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 15:39, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
::Sorry. --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 13:59, 26 September 2016 (UTC)

== Copying versus embedding ==

Hi, I'm new here and I'm trying not to be an asshole. However, I just noticed that this site uses its own archive of copied xkcd comics, rather than using the image URL provided for hotlinking and embedding. I can understand this website will want to have its own archive in case xkcd.org ever goes offline, but until then, why not just embed the images instead of copying?

The reason I'm asking: I just realised I hardly ever go to xkcd.org anymore ever since my browser put explainxkcd above xkcd.org. Explanations get updated, so sometimes I check back later, which rarely happens with the comics. It makes perfect sense. But if more people experience this issue, xkcd.org is getting fewer unique visitors because of it, and this could be fixed by fetching the image directly from there, while still making and storing a copy in case it is needed in the future. Thoughts, anyone? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.33|141.101.104.33]] 17:08, 18 October 2016 (UTC)
:So, we can't do this for every comic, like [[1190]] or other april fools comics. Also, xkcd's revenue comes from merchandise sales, not ad revenue, so I believe it's not actually negatively impacting them that we're serving the images ourselves rather than making the main site serve them for us. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 05:39, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

:Embedding images is generally known as "stealing bandwidth", since it uses resources of the original site's server (may be limited) without bringing it any actual visitors (they won't see anything else of the website, like announcements, shop, other sections, ...). Also, depending on how unique visitors are counted, "visitors" through embedding might be invisible (client's side scripts won't be loaded). So no image embedding without the original site's owner express permission. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.88.106|141.101.88.106]] 12:51, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

== Other Languages ==
Are there translations of pages anywhere. It has been mentioned that they are on subdomains of this site, or a sub-page, as Main_Page/es for spanish. I can't seem to find them there. [[User:The Muffin Man|The Muffin Man]] ([[User talk:The Muffin Man|talk]]) 14:48, 7 February 2017 (UTC)
:It's a work in progress, long delayed but I really do want to get to it eventually. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 18:58, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

== Why are there male/female symbols in some of the entries? ==

Those symbols are not in the comic, but they're in the table. I think a vandal put them there. Can someone remove them from the Lavaball, Bladeball, Eggspotting, Merfishing, Consequence Golf and Heck Escape? (now don't act like someone who criticizes "politically correct leftist "libt++d" SJW snowflakes" just because I said "heck" or censored the derogatory term for "liberal" or not even trying to say these uncensored) -- [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.106|108.162.221.106]] 12:36, 25 November 2017 (UTC)

== How quaint ==

From the Main Page:

Explain xkcd: '''It's 'cause you're dumb.'''

From the Rules section:

'''Don't be a jerk. '''

(Emphasis mine)

How very ,very quaint. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.126.100|162.158.126.100]] 21:00, 5 December 2017 (UTC)

== HTTPS? ==

Hi,
With the general trend towards HTTPS being favoured over HTTP for security and speed reasons, would it be possible to force the use of HTTPS and secure the mixed content please?

Please see [https://www.whynopadlock.com/results/7e707bfd-cd71-4b00-b95e-be226fb10fb6 Why no Padlock?] for more details.

Thanks,
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.179.202|162.158.179.202]] 10:32, 13 January 2018 (UTC)

:Browsing using HTTPS seems to just work. There's even a signed certificate.
:https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1946

:I really don't get why people are so convinced that browsing using HTTPS is so much more "secure". You even seem to claim that it's faster?
:If you love it so much, install a browser extension like https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere.

:With the exception of the login / register page, I really don't see the point for enforcing this for the whole site. I am no admin though.
[[Special:Contributions/172.69.54.93|172.69.54.93]] 22:30, 25 January 2018 (UTC)

We are already in 2018 and this website still does not even redirect automatically to HTTPS ([https://support.cloudflare.com/hc/en-us/articles/200170536-How-do-I-redirect-all-visitors-to-HTTPS-SSL- you can do it so easily with Couldflare...]) nor enforce HTTPS with {{w|HSTS}}... I don't know, just check [https://scotthelme.co.uk/hardening-your-http-response-headers/#strict-transport-security on Scott Helme's site] why it's important. Having to rely on the user installing an extension for doing the sysadmin work is a bad joke, really. And it does not fix some issues with mixed content of course. With Let's Encrypt and Cloudflare providing certificates for free and the plethora of tutorials online on securing a website (not limited to HTTPS), there is no excuse to not do it. -- [[User:guest|guest]] ([[User talk:guest|talk]]) 11:22, 31 January 2018 (UTC)

Talk:Main Page

2018-01-31T11:22:57Z

Guest: /* HTTPS? */ this is really lazy

{{notice|This page is for discussion of the [[Main Page]] itself. Other issues probably belong at the [[Explain XKCD:Community portal]].}}

As a new user, I think the first page is very important. So I thought why not begin a discussion here what to have on the first page every user visits.--[[User:Relic|Relic]] ([[User talk:Relic|talk]]) 05:59, 1 August 2012 (EDT) Re-signed here - b/c I broke the comment in two when I added the "List of comics" header. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 23:01, 2 August 2012 (EDT)

==List of comics==
I was thinking of having a quick link to the list of comics that is explained. Right know, it took me a while to even see any of them. Eventually I found the "List All Pages" (found it in Special pages) where I could find the comics that have been explained. What do you think?
:A category tag will do that for you automatically. Having a list of comics indexed by its number would be a little different.--[[User:Relic|Relic]] ([[User talk:Relic|talk]]) 05:59, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::Sounds like a great list - I ''think'' it'd have to be manually maintained until/unless we get someone who knows how to make a bot update it. Categories will be useful, but they only work if someone added the category to the page in the first place. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 07:21, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::A (somewhat) related question - should [[:Category:Comics]] be sorted alphabetically or by comic number? --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 07:43, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::::I think [[:Category:Comics]] should be sorted by comic number. If you are looking for a specific comic, you will use the search field. Is there a way to make that happen? --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 08:11, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::::They are two different functions. For the former, instead of adding <nowiki>[[Category:Comics]]</nowiki>, add, say, <nowiki>[[Category:Comics|1]]</nowiki>. For the second, we can create redirects. Normally, I'd say just make sure the search term was in the article text, but since numbers are going to be use for other purposes than just comic titles, it may be better to create [[1]] and [[Comic 1]] as redirects to the relevant articles right off the bat. --08:24, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::::::We could also have a comic-list template on the Main Page, I suppose, or perhaps two - one for number and one for name? --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 08:54, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::::::Here's what I was thinking of for that: {{tl|Comics navbox}} Thoughts? ''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]]
:(outdent) It's ugly, but a sortable wikitable [[User:SurturZ/sandbox|(click here for example)]] could be used as a checklist to see what has been uploaded and what hasn't. What's the project namespace here, anyway (analogue of "WP:")? --[[User:SurturZ|SurturZ]] ([[User talk:SurturZ|talk]]) 03:04, 3 August 2012 (EDT)
:OK, I've found a way to get all the titles of the comics, so I was confident enough to create <big>[[Explain XKCD:Checklist]]</big> which can be used to fill in the gaps. --[[User:SurturZ|SurturZ]] ([[User talk:SurturZ|talk]]) 03:41, 3 August 2012 (EDT)
::I'm liking the checklist! That should do quite nicely as a "tool for editors". (I'm linking to it at the Community Portal). We still need the "template for readers." Did you think {{tl|Comics navbox}} was on the right track or should we do something else for that? --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 20:09, 3 August 2012 (EDT)
::Better idea - I'm throwing it directly onto the Main Page. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 20:10, 3 August 2012 (EDT)

==Admin list==
You can find a system-accurate list of admins [{{canonicalurl:Special:ListUsers|group=sysop}} here], so that might good to share, along with the manual list. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 07:13, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:Added to page. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 08:10, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::That's exactly what I wanted, but couldn't find the auto page for it. I knew it was somewhere. I don't see any reason to keep the link to the manual page. Do you? --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 08:11, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::Not unless you want it. I'll remove it. Should I add the similar link for 'crats or is that unnecessary at this point? --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 08:25, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::::To be honest, I have no idea what the Burecrats role does. Might be unnecessary now but helpful in the future? --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 11:16, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::::Bureaucrats can turn other users into administrators (or indeed, other bureaucrats). That privilege isn't available to ordinary administrators. I'd keep it to yourself for the time being. :-) --[[User:Yirba|Yirba]] ([[User talk:Yirba|talk]]) 17:39, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
::::::You can actually see a technical list of which rights each group confers at [[Special:ListGroupRights]]. As the wiki grows, you might want to spin off a few, such as the ability to grant rollbacker and autopatrolled, to admins as some other wikis have. But for the time being, at least, there's really no reason for the wiki to have more than one 'crat. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 17:07, 2 August 2012 (EDT)

== Community portal ==

I've created the [[Explain XKCD:Community portal]] as a tools/help page. If that's not what you want, feel free to change/move/whatever it, but I thought it'd be nice to save this page for discussion of the Main Page and discuss the wiki as a whole/ask for help there. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 08:36, 1 August 2012 (EDT)

== Direct link to latest comic ==

There should be a direct link to the latest comic at the top of the Main page. A nice thing about going to explainxkcd.com was that the latest comic is right there at the top. For those changing their default link to the wiki, there should be an easy "Latest Comic" link that quickly takes them there. I'm sure some folks actually skip xkcd.com and come directly here instead to read the latest offering from Randall. They shouldn't have to search for it.
[[User:Christopher Foxx|- CFoxx]] ([[User talk:Christopher Foxx|talk]]) 11:59, 1 August 2012 (EDT)

: Maybe the page [[latest]] should redirect to the most recent comic? Could that be taken care of by some sort of script/template so it doesn't have to be manually updated? Should each explination page also have "next", "previous", "random", "first" and "latest" links, possibly also generated automatically via scripts/templates? Additionally, shouldn't the number page be the canonical one? It seems like [[Internal monologue]] should redirect to [[1089]] rather than the other way around - certainly it would make a bunch of scripting types of things a lot easier. [[User:J-beda|J-beda]] ([[User talk:J-beda|talk]]) 13:02, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::If you wanted, we could even use wiki-magic to show the title of the page as the Comic name, but the URL as the number - in order to parallel the actual XKCD website. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 17:09, 2 August 2012 (EDT)
:: Shouldn't there be a way to programmatically find the comic with the highest number that has a page with content? That would work as long as no one puts future comic pages up. --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 20:25, 1 August 2012 (EDT)
:::It's all sounding like folks are over-complicating something quite easy. All I'm suggesting is a prominent link to http://www.xkcd.com/. No need, I think, to list which number the latest is, or include the next/last/random buttons, etc. [[User:Christopher Foxx|- CFoxx]] ([[User talk:Christopher Foxx|talk]]) 11:41, 3 August 2012 (EDT)
::::Oh. We've got that, now, in the sidebar - labeled as "XKCD." I do think that having an internal link to the latest (explained) comic would be a great thing, though. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 16:36, 4 August 2012 (EDT)

You can transclude the latest comic on the main page like this: <nowiki>{{:pagename}} e.g. {{:Internal_monologue}} </nowiki>--[[User:SurturZ|SurturZ]] ([[User talk:SurturZ|talk]]) 00:25, 2 August 2012 (EDT)
: I've started with just a manual link to the latest comic. Ideally it will be automatic, but a manual link will work for now as I've had quite a few people ask for it. --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 21:09, 1 August 2012 (EDT)

Transclusion of the latest comic is great. Someone with the right permissions should add (for instance on the top-right corner of the grey transclusion area) a link to edit the corresponding wiki page, so that people seeing something they could add would feel invited to do so (wiki style). In my opinion this would be a good way to improve the quality of the user-generated explanations.
Also, all the "XKCD"s in the "New here?" section should be converted to the lowercase "xkcd"...
[[User:Cos|Cos]] ([[User talk:Cos|talk]]) 14:00, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
:Good points. I've done both. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 15:48, 6 August 2012 (UTC)

Call me dumb, but... You've got a link called "prev" that goes to the explaination for the previous comic. Then a link called "comic #42" but that goes to xkcd. And then a smaller, less prominent link called "go to this comic" that doesn't go to the comic but to its explaination. Anyone else think that's a little back-to-front? [[User:Zootle|Zootle]] ([[User talk:Zootle|talk]]) 17:18, 31 August 2012 (UTC)
:OK, you're dumb :-). The standard template for an explanation page includes the header with "Prev", "Comic # (date)", and "Next" links. If we don't have explanation pages for the previous or next comic, we don't show the respective link. I hadn't noticed that the "Comic # (date)" bit was a link to the xkcd site before, but in context it makes sense to me. Including a link to the Explain page for the comic who's explain page you are already looking at doesn't make sense.
:The explanation page for the latest comic is "transcluded" in the main page pretty much as-is, so we get the header, the comic, the explanation, etc. We don't get the discussion, which is visible at the bottom of the Explain page. Because there is never an explanation for a comic that hasn't been released yet, there is never a "Next" link on the main page's transcluded header. So you get "Prev" and "Comic" links. The "Go to this comic" link is added by the main page above the transcluded explain page.
:I can see how the "Go to this comic" link might be poorly worded especially as it's placement seems to be within the explanation it's linking to. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 18:16, 31 August 2012 (UTC)
::Rather than "Go to this comic" maybe it could be "Go to full explanation" ? Something else? [[User:J-beda|J-beda]] ([[User talk:J-beda|talk]]) 13:38, 5 September 2012 (UTC)
::There was [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=explain_xkcd:Community_portal/Admin_requests#.22Edit_this_explanation.22_link_on_main_page a discussion at one point] about a wittier/more descriptive link - but no one came up with anything. I do like "Go to Full Explanation" better, for what it's worth. --[[User:DanB|DanB]] ([[User talk:DanB|talk]]) 15:31, 5 September 2012 (UTC)
:::My problem with that suggestion is that it implies that the main page explanation is not full. As of right now, the full explanation is transcluded on the main page. There's nothing more to see by clicking that link (explanation wise) Perhaps "Go to full explanation page" but that doesn't quite sound right to me... [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 15:42, 7 September 2012 (UTC)
::::How about "Go to this Comic Explanation Page"? One nice thing about the specific page rather than the [[Main_Page]] transcoding is that it nicely includes the discussion as well. I have a bookmark to the [[Main_Page]] that I look at every day, but I want to easily read the discussions, not only the explanation. Humm, maybe we could have a page [[most recent comic]] that automagically redirects to the most recent comic? [[User:J-beda|J-beda]] ([[User talk:J-beda|talk]]) 12:42, 8 September 2012 (UTC)
:::::I tried to get [[most recent comic]] to redirect to LATESTCOMIC, but can't get the syntax working - it is possible? [[User:J-beda|J-beda]] ([[User talk:J-beda|talk]]) 13:03, 8 September 2012 (UTC)
::::::Apparently it isn't. I would have tried <code><nowiki>#REDIRECT [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}]]</nowiki></code> like you did, but since that doesn't work, I'll delete the page for now. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 16:38, 20 November 2012 (UTC)

== Discussion of latest comic ==
Perhaps include the discussions of the latest comic here? I almost missed there was a discussion field a few times because I would only read about the latest comic on the main page. [[User:Carewolf|Carewolf]] ([[User talk:Carewolf|talk]]) 14:54, 22 September 2012 (UTC)

This comics's explanation is complete bollocks, I think. Of course it is NOT a "fact that such a room exists". This comics parodies trope often used in cop movies - an elderly cop goes to work for the last time before his retirement, packs things, plans fishing the next day ... only to be called to one more case (possibly with a new, young and brash partner). And despites his efforts not to screw anything and stay clear of danger, he is either mortally wounded or screws big time and is degraded. So much clichè, that if someone says "It's my last day or service", you might be sure one of the two options above happens. See http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Retirony [[User:edheldil|Edheldil]] 10:17, 26 September 2012 (UTC)

I believe this link maybe relevant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtle_graphics {{unsigned|Rhudi}}

I went ahead and filled out the bracket from today's (see edit date) comic: http://m.imgur.com/gallery/WyPkHx2 {{unsigned|Glaucon81}}

*rise

Btw, why wouldn't I just enter "ipconfig free" if I didn't want my IP address showing? {{unsigned ip|172.68.65.48}}

== The comic explanation count is wrong ==

The adjustment is currently 3, but there are now 6 subcategories and one list making the current correct adjustment 7.
If the wiki was upgraded to version 1.20, a form exists to automatically exclude subcategories.
--[[User:Divad27182|Divad27182]] ([[User talk:Divad27182|talk]]) 09:56, 8 October 2012 (UTC)

:Looks like another week of the wiki going down then.
:But seriously, I've been noticing this too. Didn't know what was causing it, but it's going to have to be fixed sometime.[[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]] ([[User talk:Davidy22|talk]]) 10:25, 8 October 2012 (UTC)

::The text reads <pre><nowiki>We already have [[:Category:Comics|'''{{#expr:{{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-3}}''' comic explanations]]!</nowiki></pre> The -3 is to account for the subcategories and non-explanation pages in the category. There apparently used to be three such pages, and now there are seven. I would fix this myself, but the page is protected. If the wiki where upgraded to version 1.20, the categories could be explicitly excluded, but the [[List of all comics]] would still be in the category. (Note that the -3 actually appears twice.) --[[User:Divad27182|Divad27182]] ([[User talk:Divad27182|talk]]) 05:03, 11 October 2012 (UTC)

:::Mediawiki 1.20 fixes this issue, although it'd be nice if this could be fixed in the meantime via the hack reccommended by divad. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 06:40, 16 November 2012 (UTC)

:Looks like Waldir updated the "Comic Correction Count" to "10" (as of 20 November 2012):
<nowiki> We already have [[:Category:Comics|'''{{#expr:{{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-10}}''' comic explanations]]!</big>
Note: the -10 in the calculation above is to discount subcategories (there are 7 of them as of 20 November 2012),
non-comic pages (2 as of same date: [[List of all comics]] and [[Exoplanet]])
and the comic 404, which was deliberately not posted. Thus 7 + 2 + 1 = 10
(But there are still {{#expr:{{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-10)}} to go. Come and [[List of all comics|add yours]]!)</nowiki>
:Could we possibly make this more dynamic by creating a "IGNORE_IN_COUNT" category or something? and then using something like: <nowiki>{#expr:{{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-{{PAGESINCAT:IGNORE_IN_COUNT}}}</nowiki>? Then any additional entries to the "Comics" category (that are 'special' entries) could just have the special category added and no main page editing would be necessary? --[[User:Bpothier|B. P.]] ([[User talk:Bpothier|talk]]) 07:50, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

==Make Jeff stop apologizing==
The apology for server downtime has been around for a while now. Can we take it down? [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]] ([[User talk:Davidy22|talk]]) 04:41, 11 October 2012 (UTC)

== Spambots ==

I think someone should install [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:AbuseFilter AbuseFilter]. --[[User:Kronf|Kronf]] ([[User talk:Kronf|talk]]) 10:09, 13 October 2012 (UTC)

== Purge ==

We should regularly purge the server's cache for the main page using http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page&action=purge to keep the explanation up to date. --[[User:Kronf|Kronf]] ([[User talk:Kronf|talk]]) 02:28, 3 November 2012 (UTC)

== Updating the Rules ==

I've been having a lovely discussion with someone who apparently thought the "edit anything you want" rule applied to the Talk pages. As we don't have any codified rules for ''here'' and can only point to "well the canonical way this is done on Wikipedia is..." I think that there are a few things we need to put into the list of Rules on the front page, and then have a link to a more in-depth talk about why the rules exist and what-not.

Specifically, I'm talking about writing "Feel free to edit any page on the wiki to be better. But, treat talk pages like you would blog comments: comments by other people ''cannot be changed by you'', you can only respond to them." as a new rule to be plastered on the front page, as there seems to be an increasing number social neophytes that seem to think that editing words that are attributed as being said by another person is perfectly legitimate and non-controversial.

Shall we discuss? [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 01:25, 15 November 2012 (UTC)

:We could add the etiquette rules as an addendum to the signature reminder at the top of the page. Just an extra note below the alert box asking people to not edit other people's comments. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 06:40, 16 November 2012 (UTC)

::It really should be right down with the "edited mercilessly" description, because this is an exception to that statement. Shouldn't have two sets of contradictory instructions in different places. When I made my improper edit, I had a semi-conscious moment of doubt about whether changing the other guy's comment was ok, even though this is a wiki (and even though it wasn't really clear to me that this "discussion" box held something totally separate from the page content), but that statement at the bottom put all such doubts to rest. I read it multiple times to be sure. But I did not notice that line at the top about the four tildes until ''much'' later. It's somewhat lost, visually, in the header line, when you're not looking directly at it.[[Special:Contributions/50.0.38.245|50.0.38.245]] 18:32, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

:::There's discussion to replace that message with a more noticeable alert box. The message at the bottom of the page appears for all pages, including talk pages, so a talk-page specific message there would not entirely fit. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 00:18, 19 November 2012 (UTC)

::::If that text at the bottom is in fact alterable, it should be written to take every case into account. It's an extremely poor user interface that has instructions appearing on a page stating rules that are the exact opposite of reality. And note that the altert box on the top looks a lot like a banner add, when you don't focus on it and read it. People will tend to habitually filter out anything written there from their perception. Also, it can easily be scrolled off the top of the screen when the discussion starts to get long, and they have a preview displayed.
::::So I think after the "...then do not submit it here.", it should add, "'''Exception''': others' comments in Discussion pages are not to be altered. See full rules at <<link to appropriate wikipedia page>>."[[Special:Contributions/50.0.38.245|50.0.38.245]] 15:46, 28 November 2012 (UTC)

== Update after changes ==

The front page explanation hasn't been updated at all day to match changes in the explanation on the comic's page. This is a major problem i think, as it is the front page explanation people visitors will most often read. --[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 20:43, 26 November 2012 (UTC)
: It might be a caching issue. Appending <code>&action=purge</code> to the URL will probably fix it. Can you confirm it looks good to you now? --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 00:29, 27 November 2012 (UTC)
::Yep, now it updates instantly! Well done, whatever you did! :) --[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 16:24, 27 November 2012 (UTC)

:::I've also added a link underneath the comic box that has the action embedded, so no one has to do any manual URL hacking. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 17:38, 11 December 2012 (UTC)

::::Just wanted to check in on this - are there issues with automated systems or spammers following this link? I know it can affect performance - caching is important on a busy site! --[[User:Overand|Overand]] ([[User talk:Overand|talk]]) 22:37, 13 September 2013 (UTC)

== Suggestion: Change "Go to this comic" to "Go to this entry" ==

Just a small suggestion. For the Main Page, I suggest changing "Go to this comic" to say "Go to this ''entry''" instead to remove any confusion for new and regular viewers. It certainly took me a while to figure how to go to each featured comic's entry from the main page.

[[Special:Contributions/69.43.114.2|69.43.114.2]] 17:04, 11 December 2012 (UTC)

:How about if it reads "Go to this comic explanation"? Would that be less confusing? I only quibble because the explanations aren't really entries, in wiki parlance each page is usually called an article, but that doesn't seem to fit here as we really have explanation pages. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 17:41, 11 December 2012 (UTC)

::Agreed. [[User:Ctxppc|Randy Marsh]] ([[User talk:Ctxppc|talk]]) 22:55, 8 January 2013 (UTC)

== Explain the Unreleased Comic? ==
:I wonder if [[http://i56.tinypic.com/a9ton8.png this comic]] is permitted to be explained, despite the double issue of Randall pulling the comic plus me finding the pulled comic through "xkcd overrated"... [[User:Greyson|Greyson]] ([[User talk:Greyson|talk]]) 18:21, 12 December 2012 (UTC)

== Comic 1156 ==

I don't have an account to edit the page directly, so here's an edit someone should make:
It looks like whoever wrote the existing page simply googled 'conditioning' and found the first link that came up.
Please modify the link to point to 'Classical conditioning', not 'Operant conditioning'.
Thanks. {{unsigned ip|124.191.56.91|05:26, 7 January 2013‎ (UTC)}}

:Hi. This is the talk page for the main page of the wiki. This page only has a "view" of the actual comic explanation. The actual explanation page is at [[1156: Conditioning]], and I assure you, edit permissions have not been restricted for that page. Someone has already changed the page to link to Classical conditioning, but the original editor came back stating that Operant was correct. If you would like to start a discussion about this [[Talk:1156: Conditioning|on the talk page for this explanation]] that would be much more conducive to getting this matter settled. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 05:52, 7 January 2013 (UTC)

== Comic Links ==

Some of the links seem to be confusing, as they're titled in a weird way. The link/button 'go to this comic', I'd expect would go to the actual comic on XKCD's page. Yet it goes to the comic's wiki page. And clicking on the comic # and date directs you to the XKCD page, yet I really feel that link should go to the wiki page, as it's right at the top center there, and has the date and everything, sort of indicating that it's a wiki page, yet it's not. And the prev and next buttons next to it don't go to the xkcd page, they go to the wiki pages. Which is really messed up, I think. Because of my confusion, every single time I visit here, I clicked on the wrong link, though now I've gotten used to it. I suggest rewording the links as 'XKCD Comic # and date' and 'go to this comic's wiki page'. And possibly switching the links' positions so that the wiki links could be in that navigation bar and the XKCD links could be off to the side. After all, we are a wiki, so putting our wiki links to the comic off to the side and the direct xkcd link in the center seems odd. Anyway, has anyone had the same thoughts and/or agree with me on this?--[[Special:Contributions/69.119.250.251|69.119.250.251]] 18:19, 9 January 2013 (UTC)

== Unexplained comics ==

The template that starts each explanation page should be edited to have the next and previous buttons automatically skip over pages that don't exist, rather than simply not being there if comic n+1 or n-1 doesn't exist. Preferably it would append a notice to the next page (like the redirect notices commonly found on mediawiki) telling you how many comics have been skipped. I'm not sure how feasible this would be to script, however. [[Special:Contributions/130.160.145.185|130.160.145.185]] 23:45, 9 March 2013 (UTC)

== Percentage of remaining comics calculation is off... ==

Okay, I hate to be "that pedantic math guy", but... Today the main page reads "We have collaboratively explained 936 xkcd comics, and only 252 (27%) remain." While I agree that 252/936 is roughly 27%, I believe we should really be calculating the percentage as "the number left to explain" divided by "the total number of comics that exist", not divided by "the number we have finished". That is (today), 252/1188=21%. Think about it. If we had completed 594 comics today, with 594 remaining, what should the percentage be? 594/594=100%? That's not right... 594/1188=50%? That's what we really want to say.

The page is protected, which makes sense. So I'll make my suggestion here.

Change this:

<pre>
and only {{#expr:{{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9)}}
({{#expr: ({{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9)) / ({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9) * 100 round 0}}%)
remain.
</pre>
To this:
<pre>
and only {{#expr:{{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9)}}
({{#expr: ({{LATESTCOMIC}}-({{PAGESINCAT:Comics}}-9)) / {{#expr:{{LATESTCOMIC}}}} * 100 round 0}}%)
remain.
</pre>
[[User:Imperpay|Imperpay]] ([[User talk:Imperpay|talk]]) 15:32, 20 March 2013 (UTC)

:Done and done. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|purple|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 15:37, 20 March 2013 (UTC)

:Thanks for the heads-up! However, notice that the #expr: around LATESTCOMIC was unnecessary. I've removed it. [[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 11:30, 21 March 2013 (UTC)

::Waldir, you have exposed me as a charlatan and a fool! (I just copied, pasted, and tinkered until I made something that worked. I don't actually understand it. No formal training, you see. It's what we used to call "hacking" back in the dawn of the digital era, before the word took on connotations of vandalism, trespassing, and fraud. Have you kids come up with another word for it?) [[User:Imperpay|Imperpay]] ([[User talk:Imperpay|talk]]) 13:59, 22 March 2013 (UTC)

::: Joke's on me then, 'cause you sure fooled me – I readily assumed you knew your way around those parser functions. Nice job hacking the code, it was a nearly perfect crime ;) --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 03:26, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

:::I've heard the cool kids call that the "Maker Mentality", usually with a reference to [http://makezine.com/ Make magazine] and [http://makerfaire.com/ Maker Faire]. But I think there's also a movement to resurrect the original meaning of hacker. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 04:21, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

==sidebar ads?==
''Moved to [[explain xkcd:Community portal/Proposals]] –– [[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 08:06, 4 May 2013 (UTC)''

== Expression error on Main Page ==

Please use <code><nowiki>{{PAGESINCAT:...|R}}</nowiki></code> instead of <code><nowiki>{{PAGESINCAT:...}}</nowiki></code> to correct these errors :) --[[Special:Contributions/110.168.83.62|110.168.83.62]] 10:55, 8 April 2013 (UTC)
:Dun diddly done. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 11:21, 8 April 2013 (UTC)

== Compile a list of non-technical comics to non-technical readers? ==

I'm a long-time reader and fan of >< |< C |}, but my normal approach is useless when I introduce this provocative comic series to my less technical friends. They stay at the apparent level of many comics. They don't bother reading the explanations, but they would say, "it's hard to make sense". Imagine an average non-technical (and non-arts) major guy/girl, can we compile a list of state-of-the-art but less-technical, easy-to-comprehend but "ah ha!!" strips that is suitable for them? --[[User:FrenzY|W shll nvr flly xpln xkcd!]] ([[User talk:FrenzY|talk]]) 12:39, 18 May 2013 (UTC)
:Oh my god that signature.
:Gaah, derailment. Uh, pretty much anything that isn't tagged with the physics or math categories are easy enough to understand for the average English speaker, so just check the categories at the bottom of the page for that. Also, avoid comics with the incomplete tag, and that oughta be fine. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 14:41, 18 May 2013 (UTC)

== Quit building? ==
''This post was moved to [[Talk:1214: Geoguessr]].''

:Hello, this is the talk page for the content of the front page of the wiki, not for discussion of the most recent comic, that happens [[Talk:1214: Geoguessr|here]]. I've moved your post over there for you. Cheers, and welcome to explain xkcd! [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 05:09, 22 May 2013 (UTC)

== List of incomplete comics ==
We need a link to the "Incomplete articles" at the main page below the "Missing link". Most pages are created but many are incomplete.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 19:06, 7 June 2013 (UTC)

== Header message ==

'''Please don't take this seriously unless you actually think it's a good idea:'''

I think the header should be changed from "explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb." to "explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb... or still have some hope that comic [[1190]] will end." or something similar. [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 14:53, 9 June 2013 (UTC)

::Nope! This page is trying to explain more than 1222 comics, not only [[1190: Time]]. The header just states the truth.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 15:49, 9 June 2013 (UTC)

I'd vote for a change. People have started coming over to discuss the comic even when they've 'gotten' it. That, and the fact that this is one step ahead of Googling the references yourself. So.. maybe, "it's because you're dumb..and lazy."[[Special:Contributions/220.224.246.97|220.224.246.97]] 02:26, 31 August 2013 (UTC)
:I honestly don't think it either. This is the most comprehensive comic-by-comic Wiki. People don't come here because they're dumb ''or'' lazy. That's like saying I'm dumb for reading a review of an episode after I've watched it - I'm interested in seeing what other people up with or caught that I didn't. It denigrates the idea of aggregating information, which is a very un-XKCD idea.

As a regular reader of explainxkcd (who was to lazy to cotribute anything until now), I'd like to support the proposed edit. (... and lazy) It really fits to the tone of our favourite waste of otherwise productive time (which is xkcd for myself). Best wishes from Heidelberg, Germany. --[[Special:Contributions/147.142.13.86|147.142.13.86]] 14:38, 10 October 2013 (UTC)

A friend that happens to be blind hates this site because of the "It's cause you're dumb" tagline. If he wants a transcript of the comic on xkcd, his option is to come here and have his screen reader program telling him that he is dumb every single time.

How about, "explain xkcd: because sometimes we all need a little help."? -- [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.65|173.245.54.65]] 02:07, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

:Oh, hadn't thought about that. There's been recurring complaints about this over the years, though the tagline's been around since before we were a wiki. I'll write something up and put this to a vote. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 09:00, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

== A point of confusion ==

Why is 'Apatosaurus' a category but 'Internet Argument' no longer a category? [[User:Greyson|Greyson]] ([[User talk:Greyson|talk]]) 13:53, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
:Cuz people hit the random button, see an Apatosaurus feature in three comics and figure it must be a recurring theme. Same as the internet argument thing. Will get round to a category purge after we've cleared out all the incomplete tags. I think there's one for ferrets hidden away somewhere in the dark recesses of our catalog of categories. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 14:45, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
::On the subject, can I suggest a "Barred from Conferences" category, or similar? That's definitely a recurring theme (for a long, long time), and thus should be justified enough. I'd be happy to add various qualifying articles as I scroll through again, if I can, but first I'll leave it up to someone else to solidify the actual name. (In case it turns out not to be just conferences, for example.) [[Special:Contributions/178.98.31.27|178.98.31.27]] 16:27, 22 June 2013 (UTC)

== Incomplete comics statement ==

I suggest the minor change: "We have an explanation for all x xkcd comics, and only y (y/x %) are '''marked as''' incomplete." –[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 08:07, 21 June 2013 (UTC)

== 1262 is out ==

So what are you waiting for? [[Special:Contributions/75.60.27.102|75.60.27.102]] 06:25, 9 September 2013 (UTC)
:<nowiki>(diff | hist) . . N 1262: Unquote‎; 06:23, 9 September 2013 (UTC) . . (+322)‎ . . ‎Davidy22 (Talk | contribs | block)‎ (Created page with "{{comic | number = 1262 | date = September 9, 2013 | title = Unquote | image = unquote.png | titletext = I guess it's a saying from the Old Country. }} ==Expl...")</nowiki>
:Examine the time stamps. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 06:30, 9 September 2013 (UTC)

== Adverts ==

I am not going to disable my adblock, I hate ads. If you accept bitcoin I can make a donation though. [[Special:Contributions/184.66.160.91|184.66.160.91]] 05:24, 27 September 2013 (UTC)
:Our ads are always easy-to-load images as opposed to flash ads, they're always pointing to some valuable product of some form and we've looked at and approved all of them. They also occupy space that would otherwise have been empty, as our one ad is bound strictly to the sidebar. We used to have a paypal donation button, but it was pitifully tended to and a much less reliable source of income than ads. Ads are the only reliable business model for small sites like this one; unless our readers suddenly become willing to pay all our server costs for us, we can't feasibly afford a better hosting plan without ads. We legally aren't allowed to open a merch store, because that infringes on Randall's shop, and we haven't had a single generous benefactor yet. If you want to stop seeing our server error messages, loosening up adblock for us and contributing to our impressions count will help us massively. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 06:00, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

I don't care about your server message, I wanted to make a donation. Sooo, you don't want any bitcoins? [[Special:Contributions/37.221.161.235|37.221.161.235]] 07:16, 27 September 2013 (UTC)
:This took a bit of digging. We're fine with bitcoin donations, it's just that at the rate donations came in, they were just not enough to pay for anything. [https://coinbase.com/checkouts/b19f921822ac962807a8f72d51509e59] '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 20:34, 28 September 2013 (UTC)

Donation made! [[Special:Contributions/184.66.160.91|184.66.160.91]] 23:23, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
:Thanks! '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 02:27, 1 October 2013 (UTC)

Am I the only one that feels it is "wrong" that the explainxkcd site has ads and the real xkcd doesn't have any? It feels like someone is profiting off of Randall's work. Does he officially endorse this website? Do any proceeds help go to support his ongoing publication of an awesome comic? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.19|173.245.54.19]] 16:01, 7 July 2015 (UTC)

:An admin will be able to give you more detail than me, but explainxkcd has a significant number of visitors (and thus hosting costs), and no way to generate income other than donations and ads. In contrast, Randall makes money from his comics by way of books and merchandise (and possibly public speaking), some of which will pay for his hosting. He could choose to have ads on his site to generate additional income, its his choice not to. I have no knowledge of the finances of explainxkcd, however I doubt there is much/any surplus ad revenue being pocketed by the owners/admin. As far as the site being officially endorsed, not as far as I'm aware, no.
:Also, for more discussion on adverts/income, see [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/explain_xkcd:Community_portal/Proposals#Sidebar_ads here].--[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 16:21, 7 July 2015 (UTC)

== /wiki is returning a 403 ==

Hello, 
http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/ is returning a 403 now. In my eyes you should redirect it to the main-page instead :-). --[[User:DaB.|DaB.]] ([[User talk:DaB.|talk]]) 12:41, 8 November 2013 (UTC)
:We have a new, hopefully better, server. The problem is already reported to [[User_talk:Jeff#Forbidden]] --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 14:22, 8 November 2013 (UTC)

== Explain Explain XKCD / Explain^2 XKCD ==

This particular comic explanation requires explanation. Way too many potential cross references with each conjecture requiring its own explanation page. Dial it back a little. {{unsigned ip|108.162.245.11}}
:Uh, sorry, could you clarify that a little? '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 07:23, 19 November 2013 (UTC)

::He is talking about the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/ http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/] issue. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 21:32, 19 November 2013 (UTC)
:::Well if it's that, that's an intentional permissions setting on a URL that no-one is feasibly going to type. Unless you can come up with a better use for that URL, with a reason? '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 08:40, 20 November 2013 (UTC)
::::A symlink to "index.php" at the root folder would solve the problem.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 09:26, 20 November 2013 (UTC)
:::::I cannot believe how many weeks that took to fix. Amazing. No one was going to type it, but everyone was going to get redirected to it from the home page! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.222.227|108.162.222.227]] 11:37, 20 November 2013 (UTC)

The problem is still not solved. [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/ http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/] gives still a 403 error because "index.php" is not included in the http server configuration as a default index page. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 20:07, 20 November 2013 (UTC)
:: I've fixed this. Sorry about the delay. Was super busy! --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 16:02, 21 November 2013 (UTC)
:::Thanks Jeff, it's working. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 22:20, 21 November 2013 (UTC)

== Webmaster: Obtrusive video ad on your site ==

In the ad section I saw a box sticking out and blocking out the explanation. This was therefore a very obtrusive botched video ad. Please remove this ad from your site. [[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.188|199.27.128.188]] 22:29, 6 June 2014 (UTC)

EDIT: It's now sticking out and preventing me from clicking on the "Save page" button. [[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.188|199.27.128.188]] 22:29, 6 June 2014 (UTC)
:We only accept GIFs for moving ads. Ads should also be contained within the sidebar as they're techonogically restricted to standard-sized PNGs and GIFs, so an extruding ad would be a CSS error on the site end/browser error. In addition, we run ads from lots of advertisers, and "this ad" is not specific enough to tell us which ad you want us to remove. Could you provide a screenshot/link/more information? '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 22:54, 6 June 2014 (UTC)

== Adding an arcs list page ==

I think there should be a page listing all webcomics arcs so far (the red spiders, the race, etc.)[[Special:Contributions/188.114.102.134|188.114.102.134]] 12:47, 2 October 2014 (UTC)

:This already exists, see [[:Category:Comic series]]. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 05:39, 10 April 2015 (UTC)

== This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: link ==

This has been bothering me for a while now. Why does the link in the info box for the main page link to editing the main page? It needs to link to the editing of the page which the comic's explanation is on. When I would like to edit the latest XKCD explanation, I click that thinking I am going to edit the explanation, but instead I am led to editing the main page. [[User:Auraxangelic|Auraxangelic]] ([[User talk:Auraxangelic|talk]]) 15:19, 24 October 2014 (UTC)
:Ooooooh, nice catch. I've actually never noticed that before, and it's definitely not intentional. It happens because the text of the explanation page is folded into the main page before mediawiki parses links and syntax, and the "Edit this page" button links to the page that the link is on. I have an idea for how to fix it though, so I'll get on that. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 01:49, 25 October 2014 (UTC)

== #1454 - bad description ==

"Curly-hair states longingly..." She comes across as disappointed (or even heartbroken), not "longing", which suggests sounding somewhat positive and energetic, rather than deflated. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.88|141.101.99.88]] 22:29, 2 December 2014 (UTC)

==Cueball/Rob merge==

It seems to me from a general reading of the comics that Randall has always intended for the character we here call "Cueball" to have the name "Rob". Much as "Cutie" was renamed "Megan" when we learned her name, and now she is identified as "Megan" even in comics where her name is not explicitly mentioned, I think we should consider merging the "Cueball" and "Rob" articles. I know there's a lot of inertia here, but it seems to me that this is Randall's intention for the character's name. [[User:Djbrasier|Djbrasier]] ([[User talk:Djbrasier|talk]]) 13:38, 10 March 2015 (UTC)
: Alternatively, we should un-merge [[Megan]] and [[Cutie]] for consistency. [[User:Djbrasier|Djbrasier]] ([[User talk:Djbrasier|talk]]) 14:50, 10 March 2015 (UTC)
: I'm pretty sure this is an augmentation of the author's internal characters, including the one he has developed involuntarily as to the nature of his love. His memory of his love is not his love, yet it is what he has to love. Randall seems the type to delve into this, and thus I am in support of keeping the character names as they stand. /eof [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.185|173.245.56.185]] 05:43, 25 March 2015 (UTC)

== Kerbal Space Program ==

I'm a schizophrenic who's been playing Kerbal Space Program for about five days with no sleep, and I'm pretty sure this is a reference to [https://www.google.com/search?q=xkcd+kerbal+space+program&oq=xkcd+kerbal+space+program&aqs=chrome..69i57.10851j0j7&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=122&ie=UTF-8 comic 1365] :D [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.185|173.245.56.185]] 05:39, 25 March 2015 (UTC)

== 1509 is missing ==

When will it be added? By bot, I presume.--[[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 04:51, 8 April 2015 (UTC)

== Broken Date Box on comics ==

The "Comic #1511 (April 13, 2015)" textbox that appears on top of each comic breaks if you shrink the screen. I think the space after the comma needs to be replaced with a non breaking space.{{unsigned ip|108.162.238.144}}

:Is it fixed now? '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 20:59, 13 April 2015 (UTC)

::It looks like it. I had pointed it out once before and it was fixed. I guess somebody reverted that change or something... --[[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.202|173.245.56.202]] 13:42, 15 April 2015 (UTC)

== 1515? ==

Is it correct that we have 1515 comics, as of April 15, 2015? --[[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.122|173.245.48.122]] 05:20, 15 April 2015 (UTC)
:It's not, but some people insist on making comic pages for things that aren't comics. I'll fix that. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 06:27, 15 April 2015 (UTC)

== 972 is broken ==

Look, I'm not going to make an account here or anything, but I just wanted to point out that trying to access the page for comic #972 leads to a database error, and maybe someone should check on that. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.102|173.245.48.102]] 07:45, 14 July 2015 (UTC)

Actually a lot of other pages lead to that same error as well... Even the 'Technical Diskussions' sub-page is broken. Seems to my, like some swap-spac needs cleaning up? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.230.83|108.162.230.83]] 10:32, 14 July 2015 (UTC)
:Yep. It's a symptom of another problem, but the errors should be cleared up now. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:31, 14 July 2015 (UTC)
::No dice. [[997]] is still broken. --[[Special:Contributions/198.41.235.119|198.41.235.119]] 00:27, 3 August 2015 (UTC)

:::Looks like they're working now. 21:01, 2016-11-27 {{unsigned ip|141.101.98.163}}

== #1567 ==

I think the current explanation is missing the connection, and the parody of, many "As Seen On TV" commercials selling kitchen products. Many of these commercials show people trying to use common kitchen equipment (pots, pans, can openers, etc) in a way that no normally functioning human would do it (for example, one has a lady draining the liquid from a pot of food into a sink in an extremely awkward manner — one that no normal person who has ever seen a kitchen would do — but then the lid flies one way, food goes another, there's a huge mess, etc; another commercial has someone trying to open a can of food using a can opener '''backwards''', with the woman looking extremely confused looking on how the can opener is supposed to be used or attached to the can [if you told someone act like they are a clueless monkey trying to use a can opener for the first time, that's basically what the commercial had the woman doing — no joke]). These commercials often begin with phrases such as "If you are like me" or "If you are like most home makers" or some other closely related "If you are like..." phrase (thus this comic is directly tieing itself to these commercials using this catch phrase). [[Special:Contributions/108.162.220.11|108.162.220.11]] 07:50, 21 August 2015 (UTC)
:: Other opening catch phrases for these commercials include the "Tired of [fill-in made-up frustration]" and the "Do you [fill-in made-up frustration]" kind. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.220.11|108.162.220.11]] 08:09, 21 August 2015 (UTC)

== "I used Google news BEFORE it was clickbait" ==

Go to a handful of older pages on this wiki, and it won't be long before you see this phrase in the comments - [[941: Depth Perception]], for instance has two of them. Does anyone know why this happens? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.116|108.162.221.116]] 10:59, 23 August 2015 (UTC)
:That's the signature of a person who used to post here. If you click through, it actually goes to a userpage. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 14:25, 23 August 2015 (UTC)

== URL ==

I notice that whenever you add "explain" to an xkcd url, it takes you here! neat! [[Special:Contributions/198.41.235.233|198.41.235.233]] 23:13, 28 August 2015 (UTC)
:Someone noticed! Finally! '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 04:45, 29 August 2015 (UTC)

== Should we really be using CC-BY-SA? ==

Don't get me wrong, CC-BY-SA is my favorite creative commons license. The problem is, are we really allowed? The reason I'm worried is that I'm not sure if what we are doing really counts as "fair use" with respect to XKCD. It would probably be better to do CC-NC-BY-SA, to respect XKCD, or at least put a note that CC-BY-SA only covers the wiki portion (since it's probably too late to do CC-BY-SA anyway).
[[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.37|173.245.54.37]] 23:38, 27 January 2016 (UTC)
:This is a tough one. Mediawiki sites generally use CC-BY-SA, even if the content they're based off is copyrighted (Wikia sites for various topics do this). The license only does apply to content ''created'' here. What should probably be done, if it isn't already, is some specification on pages in the <code>File:</code> namespace indicating that they are owned by someone other than the owners of this site. [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 19:37, 7 April 2016 (UTC)

== #1663: Garden not yet added? ==

For me it's 4:30 AM, 4/4/16 - I have a sleep schedule just like [https://xkcd.com/361/], so I've been first on quite a few xkcd explanations immediately. when they came out.
I notice that usually, immediately once a new xkcd comic is released, a bot generates a corresponding bare-bones page on this wiki. However, this new comic "1663: Garden" doesn't yet have an automatically-generated page. Maybe it's because of the strange user-session hash key that appears in the URL bar when the "comic" is interacted with? Maybe this sort of interactive thing messes with the bot?
Am I just being impatient? Do I have to wait a few minutes? (I'm going to bed, and this probably won't be seen until tomorrow, but I am at least interested in knowing how the bot system works.) [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.21|173.245.54.21]] 09:01, 4 April 2016 (UTC)

== Skins broken ==

It seems both the Classic and Monobook skins are very very broken. Only Vector seems to be laid out normally. [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 19:39, 7 April 2016 (UTC)
: Yes, for me too. Let me see what can be done. [[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 20:10, 12 April 2016 (UTC)
::All calls to /load.php seem to fail, which results in the broken look. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.86.167|162.158.86.167]] 11:02, 14 April 2016 (UTC)
:::Oh wow, I thought I was the only one. [[User:SuperSupermario24|Just some random derp]] 15:57, 8 May 2016 (UTC)
::::Should be fixed now. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 18:59, 17 May 2016 (UTC)

== #1682: Not sure about the reference for Russian meaning for Bun ==
''Also interesting to note is that in several Slavic languages (including Russian, Czech and Polish), the word for Rabbit literally means Little King''

I'm a native Russian speaker, and i've never heard of Rabbit being used for ''Little King''...

* Rabbit: ''krolik'' (кролик)
* Little King: ''korolyok'' (королёк)

Not sure if this above statement is correct for Russian language. {{unsigned ip|162.158.255.28}}
:This is the main page. You probably want to put this in [[Talk:1682: Bun]]'''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:36, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

== Random Button ==
The actual xkcd site has one and adding one would make it closer to the actual site and make discovering random comics and their explanations easier. It could go next to the comic # button.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.69|173.245.52.69]] 01:03, 5 June 2016 (UTC)
:There is a random page button on the left. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 02:36, 5 June 2016 (UTC)
::Oh. Didn't see that. Sorry.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.69|173.245.52.69]] 20:16, 5 June 2016 (UTC)

== XKCD Alignment Chart ==

A while back, I was searching for an XKCD alignment chart, with no success, so I made one. It is not perfect, so I'm wondering what other opinions on the alignment of the characters are.

Lawful Good- Beret

Neutral Good- Ponytail

Chaotic Good- Mrs. Roberts

Lawful Neutral-Cueball

Neutral Neutral- Megan

Chaotic Neutral- White hat

Lawful Evil- Hairy

Neutral Evil- Danish

Chaotic Evil- Black Hat

--[[User:Fallencrow305|Fallencrow305]] ([[User talk:Fallencrow305|talk]]) 22:10, 28 July 2016 (UTC)

:What about Help I'm trapped in a drivers license factory Elaine Roberts? --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 15:48, 29 September 2016 (UTC)
::Or Hairbun? Or Science Girl? Here are my predictions: Elaine - Chaotic Good, Hairbun - Lawful Good, Science Girl - Lawful Neutral --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 16:00, 29 September 2016 (UTC)

== 1713 cc also means carbon copy. So 50 carbon copies of either of those words could be called for. ==

1713 cc also means carbon copy. So 50 carbon copies of either of those words could be called for. {{unsigned ip|108.162.215.146}}
:Sorry, but [[User:108.162.215.146|108.162.215.146]], you need to remember to sign your work. --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 11:50, 26 September 2016 (UTC)

== Chatroom Idea... What do you guys think? ==
I have an idea. What if there was a discussion board for the wiki? (And no, I don't mean boards like this or the "comment section" of comic explanations. I mean a live chatroom plugin of sorts. We could add it to the website and enable it so we can talk to each other in real-time and make live edits with each other. This way, we can also let each other know of edits we've made, make new pages altogether, or just talk. What do you guys think? -- [[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 9:10, 13 September 2016
:The [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Special:RecentChanges recent changes] log already notifies all users on the site of new pages and edits. User talk pages and the community portals exist for coordination. Also, avoid creating new comment topics in the middle of a talk page in the future, comments are supposed to follow a chronological order. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 15:39, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
::Sorry. --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 13:59, 26 September 2016 (UTC)

== Copying versus embedding ==

Hi, I'm new here and I'm trying not to be an asshole. However, I just noticed that this site uses its own archive of copied xkcd comics, rather than using the image URL provided for hotlinking and embedding. I can understand this website will want to have its own archive in case xkcd.org ever goes offline, but until then, why not just embed the images instead of copying?

The reason I'm asking: I just realised I hardly ever go to xkcd.org anymore ever since my browser put explainxkcd above xkcd.org. Explanations get updated, so sometimes I check back later, which rarely happens with the comics. It makes perfect sense. But if more people experience this issue, xkcd.org is getting fewer unique visitors because of it, and this could be fixed by fetching the image directly from there, while still making and storing a copy in case it is needed in the future. Thoughts, anyone? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.33|141.101.104.33]] 17:08, 18 October 2016 (UTC)
:So, we can't do this for every comic, like [[1190]] or other april fools comics. Also, xkcd's revenue comes from merchandise sales, not ad revenue, so I believe it's not actually negatively impacting them that we're serving the images ourselves rather than making the main site serve them for us. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 05:39, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

:Embedding images is generally known as "stealing bandwidth", since it uses resources of the original site's server (may be limited) without bringing it any actual visitors (they won't see anything else of the website, like announcements, shop, other sections, ...). Also, depending on how unique visitors are counted, "visitors" through embedding might be invisible (client's side scripts won't be loaded). So no image embedding without the original site's owner express permission. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.88.106|141.101.88.106]] 12:51, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

== Other Languages ==
Are there translations of pages anywhere. It has been mentioned that they are on subdomains of this site, or a sub-page, as Main_Page/es for spanish. I can't seem to find them there. [[User:The Muffin Man|The Muffin Man]] ([[User talk:The Muffin Man|talk]]) 14:48, 7 February 2017 (UTC)
:It's a work in progress, long delayed but I really do want to get to it eventually. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 18:58, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

== Why are there male/female symbols in some of the entries? ==

Those symbols are not in the comic, but they're in the table. I think a vandal put them there. Can someone remove them from the Lavaball, Bladeball, Eggspotting, Merfishing, Consequence Golf and Heck Escape? (now don't act like someone who criticizes "politically correct leftist "libt++d" SJW snowflakes" just because I said "heck" or censored the derogatory term for "liberal" or not even trying to say these uncensored) -- [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.106|108.162.221.106]] 12:36, 25 November 2017 (UTC)

== How quaint ==

From the Main Page:

Explain xkcd: '''It's 'cause you're dumb.'''

From the Rules section:

'''Don't be a jerk. '''

(Emphasis mine)

How very ,very quaint. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.126.100|162.158.126.100]] 21:00, 5 December 2017 (UTC)

== HTTPS? ==

Hi,
With the general trend towards HTTPS being favoured over HTTP for security and speed reasons, would it be possible to force the use of HTTPS and secure the mixed content please?

Please see [https://www.whynopadlock.com/results/7e707bfd-cd71-4b00-b95e-be226fb10fb6 Why no Padlock?] for more details.

Thanks,
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.179.202|162.158.179.202]] 10:32, 13 January 2018 (UTC)

:Browsing using HTTPS seems to just work. There's even a signed certificate.
:https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1946

:I really don't get why people are so convinced that browsing using HTTPS is so much more "secure". You even seem to claim that it's faster?
:If you love it so much, install a browser extension like https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere.

:With the exception of the login / register page, I really don't see the point for enforcing this for the whole site. I am no admin though.
[[Special:Contributions/172.69.54.93|172.69.54.93]] 22:30, 25 January 2018 (UTC)

We are already in 2018 and this website still does not even redirect automatically to HTTPS nor enforce HTTPS with {{w|HSTS}}... I don't know, just check [https://scotthelme.co.uk/hardening-your-http-response-headers/#strict-transport-security on Scott Helme's site] why it's important. Having to rely on the user installing an extension for doing the sysadmin work is a bad joke, really. With Let's Encrypt and Cloudflare providing certificates for free and the plethora of tutorials online on securing a website (not limited to HTTPS), there is no excuse to not do it. -- [[User:guest|guest]] ([[User talk:guest|talk]]) 11:22, 31 January 2018 (UTC)

Template:w

2018-01-31T10:40:59Z

Guest: code fomatting with... <code>

<includeonly>[[Wikipedia:{{#if:{{{1|}}}|{{{1}}}{{!}}{{{2|{{{1|}}}}}}]]|{{PAGENAME}}{{!}}{{PAGENAME}}]] at [[Wikipedia:|Wikipedia]]}}</includeonly><noinclude>
A template to make a link to Wikipedia.

==Usage==
*<code><nowiki>{{w}}</nowiki></code> by itself links to the wikipedia page for the page you use the template on
**{{w}}
*<code><nowiki>{{w|Page}}</nowiki></code> links to the wikipedia article on "Page"
**{{w|Page}}
*<code><nowiki>{{w|Page|Display}}</nowiki></code> prints "Display" which links to the wikipedia article on "Page"
**{{w|Page|Display}}

[[Category:Templates]]
</noinclude>

1948: Campaign Fundraising Emails

2018-01-31T10:37:30Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ template:w for wikipedia links

{{comic
| number = 1948
| date = January 29, 2018
| title = Campaign Fundraising Emails
| image = campaign_fundraising_emails.png
| titletext = The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of...
}}

==Explanation==

Many politicians and organizations in the United States have taken to using aggressive fundraising campaigns by email to seek campaign contributions.

This comic shows a caricature of many people's email inboxes right now. Signing a petition or expressing interest in a cause can lead to being added to a myriad of mailing lists for similar groups, all looking for support. It seems Randall has a history of donating to questionable candidates with poorly thought out campaigns, and that's gotten him onto some interesting email lists. The emails get more and more absurd as the list goes on. For example, the last one combines a request for campaign contributions with the infamous Nigerian Prince phishing scheme.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! E-mail Body !! Explanation
|-
|'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we...
|This is the classic formula, and may be a real example. It is always "crunch time" during a campaign (at least between filing for candidacy and election day), and campaigns are always "low" on cash relative to the unlimited funding they would prefer. The ends of financial reporting periods, often at midnight, are conflated with "deadlines" of significant consequence. Further, the donation requested is less about the actual money - even if $5 each from several thousand voters can add up - but to get a donor to have their money placed on a candidate, making it more likely that donor will vote for the candidate (via encouraging {{w|Sunk cost#Loss_aversion_and_the_sunk_cost_fallacy|the "sunk cost" fallacy}}).
|-
|'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the...
|While fundraisers will try and work out how to gain as much money as possible, they would never explain this to their supporters. Such a precise amount would come about as a result of running the numbers through a computer simulation, and the obvious lack of humanity behind the calculated dollar amount would probably be offputting to a lot of would-be supporters. This may also be an exaggeration of Senator Sanders' presidential campaign, which sent e-mails asking for $27 because it was the average amount of their contributions up to that point.
|-
|'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a lot of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is...
|This email is honest about the campaign's incompetence, but is not likely to get much sympathy except from those already sympathetic to the candidate. Any campaign reduced to this level has probably already lost, though. The reference to "cash" lacks sufficient context to be clear; if the full message requests that recipients send cash that would raise several red flags (suggesting that the campaign's finances are in such disarray that it cannot process checks, credit cards, etc in a timely manner, and raising concerns that cash could be stolen or otherwise diverted more readily than other forms of payment).
|-
|'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I...
|This may be another real example. This appeal to emotion promises specific action that is unlikely to accomplish much, and is probably unlikely to happen even if the candidate wins, while suggesting the candidate vaguely cares about issues of importance to most voters, as measured by the polls, but may not be genuine or fulfilled. The mere statement of "jobs" as a meaningful political point is patently ridiculous, especially since no context or intent is provided with it.
|-
|'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will...
|This is a favorite of moral campaigns, on both sides of a debate. Grand statements about evil and corruption taking over the country if the campaign does not get enough support are common, but they are extremely biased and dramatic.
|-
|As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned...
|Normally one would be the first ''from'' a university to do something, not the first to achieve something involving the university itself. Flying a plane through a university is risky at the very least, and depending on the definition of "through" here, could imply destruction of buildings or the plane itself, which might paint the candidate in an irresponsible light
|-
|'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their wifi to send fundraising...
| This campaign tactic attempts to appeal to the reader's sympathy by describing financial struggles and poverty, but said tactics may instead make the movement look pathetic and poorly-organized, especially because the group is apparently so poor, they can't continue sending emails to ask for funding.
|-
|When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of...
|The reader would expect that the writer expressed surprise because they weren't expecting Amy to run for Congress, but the actual reason is because they didn't know what Congress was. If the aim is indeed fundraising, as the comic's title would imply, this message is very likely to give very poor results. While the familiar tone could be a communication strategy (although you might want to look serious and professional when asking for money), the author openly states not knowing what the campaign was about until recently, which would make potential donors doubt that their money would be put to good use.
|-
|-
|'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymous Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for...
|The works of {{w|Hieronymus Bosch}}, which are famous for depictions of {{w|Hell}} and {{w|Limbo}} as brutal places of highly imaginative torments, which the sender implies would be similar to the country under the opponent's plan.
|-
|Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me...
|Each of these are typical "inspiring" stories for someone to bring up once they reach success, to show how they have persevered and come out on top, but it is extremely unlikely that all of these responsibilities and hardships would be burdening one person at the same time, and said person surviving all of these is even less likely.
|-
|-
|'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I...
|A promise that goes from more universally relatable issues, but then moves to the controversial topic of climate change (with the implication that damaging the climate is the goal), and the universally ridiculous idea that children are an issue that needs to be contained. The fight "against our children" may be a reference to a popular {{w|Bushism}}.
|-
|'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I...
|A typical form of {{w|clickbait}}. (Don't read another table entry until you've followed that link! Reference #10 will shock you.)
|-
|'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about...
|When a politician makes an offensive comment, it's common for the politician's opponents to send out fundraising emails pointing out the politician's offensiveness as a reason to give money to an opponent. Here, the sender's reaction and e-mail fundraising effort appears to be unusually delayed, as it refers to an alleged comment by {{w|Gerald Ford}}, whose term as President of the United States ended in 1977 and who died in 2006.
|-
|'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for...
|The email apologises for running months of attack ads against American actor {{w|Tom Hanks}}. Hanks is generally a popular and uncontroversial figure{{Citation needed}}, making him an unusual target for attack ads. This implies that the sender does not even know who their opponent is, and has mistakenly targeted the wrong person, demonstrating some significant ignorance and incompetence.
|-
|'''They say we can't win-''' that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't...
|May refer to {{w|Roy Moore#U.S._Senate_special_election_campaign|Roy Moore's attempts to overturn his loss in the December 2017 election for one of Alabama's US Senate seat}}, which came about a month before this comic and made national headlines. After the initial election count had him losing, he demanded a recount. That initial count said he had lost by a large enough margin that Alabama law required him to pay up front for a recount, and his campaign did not have enough funds available.
|-
|'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy...
|This e-mail alludes to [https://secure.actblue.com/ ActBlue], a political action committee that collects donations online for Democratic candidates. In reality, there is no ActBlue family nor any "Jennifer ActBlue" who is the heir to its fortune; the name ActBlue comes from the words "act" and "blue", referring to the {{w|Red states and blue states|color currently associated with the Democratic Party}}.
|-
|'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on...
|This is an excerpt from {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkien's}} poem ''[http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Lament_for_the_Rohirrim Lament of the Rohirrim,]'' appearing in ''{{w|The Two Towers}}'': 
Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? 
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing? 
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing? 
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing? 
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; 
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. 
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning, 
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?
|-
|'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that...
|The opening line is designed to sound like spam for an {{W | Advance-fee scam}}. These scams typically involve impersonating someone rich, often a Nigerian prince, who claims to be in trouble and promises to share a large sum of money if the victim helps him by sending a small fee in advance electronically. However, the second sentence of this email switches to sounding like a political fundraising email instead of an outright scam. This is either to establish a degrading comparison between flagrant scams and fundraising emails, or just to create a bait-and-switch joke.
|-
|The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of...
|A candidate who compares himself to {{w|Hitler}}, even when promising to be GOOD instead, will probably not get many votes. The title text does however conform to {{w|Godwin's law}}.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[An e-mail inbox window is displayed. On each line appears an illegible e-mail address and a checkbox.]

'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we... 
'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the... 
'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a lot of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is... 
'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I... 
'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will... 
As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned... 
'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their wifi to send fundraising... 
When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of... 
'''Are you familiar''' with the dutch painter Hieronymous Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for... 
Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me... 
'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I... 
'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I... 
'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about... 
'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for... 
'''They say we can't win-''' that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't... 
'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy... 
'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on... 
'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that...

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:1728: Cron Mail

2016-09-05T14:24:49Z

Guest:

I think the "MAILTO" variable in "/etc/crontab" is meant, so only only cron-mails would go to this address, not all mails for the user

[[User:Rincewind|Rincewind]] ([[User talk:Rincewind|talk]]) 13:09, 2 September 2016 (UTC)

The huge question is whether adding an email message to crontab would result in cron producing even more mail - or whether it would cause cron to fail in some way. The latter would do damage by killing some (possibly critical) cron tasks - the former could rapidly fill up the hard drive with an exponentially-growing crontab. An intermediate situation would be that cron simply ignores the junk and continues to function as before - in which case Cueball's change will have little practical impact on disk space consumption - but probably gradually slow cron's crontab parser to a crawl, which would also have rather severe effects. On most Linux setups, the mail directories are on a different partition to /etc. There is often very little spare space on the partition with /etc on it - so it's likely that Cueball's change will eventually do terrible damage in that case too. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.69.98|162.158.69.98]] 14:42, 2 September 2016 (UTC)
:On my Mint/Ubuntu/Debian-based Linux system, adding junk to /etc/crontab put a message is /var/log/syslog about "cron[1495]: (*system*) ERROR (Syntax error, this crontab file will be ignored)". So it looks like appending garbage to the crontab will just break cron entirely (or at least those handled by /etc/crontab; it may be private cron and /etc/cron.d/* jobs may continue to run, but cron.hourly, cron.daily, and cron.weekly jobs on my system are initiated through /etc/crontab so they would not run with a broken /etc/crontab). I don't know if other non-Debian distributions have a cron that behaves differently, however. [[User:N0lqu|-boB]] ([[User talk:N0lqu|talk]]) 15:18, 2 September 2016 (UTC)
:Seems like it wouldn't break the existing stuff, they'd still get run and then cron would start parsing the noise and complaining - the "intermediate" situation, though the "export MAILTO" seems wrong. If Cueball did it in his .bashrc, it might get into some of *his* cron jobs but unless it's in /etc/crontab (and there, no "export" is needed/used), it wouldn't matter. His jobs probably wouldn't have rights to write to /etc/crontab either. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.73|173.245.48.73]] 17:09, 2 September 2016 (UTC)
::I just checked the source of Paul Vixie's cron-3.0, which is the version that Debian uses. Turns out that the config variables in a crontab file are not actual environment variables when it comes to the cron daemon (which is what matters), so there's no way that putting "export MAILTO=foo" anywhere can change cron's behavior. More importantly, setting the MAILTO variable does not result in /etc/crontab being modified, it merely designates the e-mail address the report is sent to. On most systems, e-mails to "/etc/crontab" will be undelivarable, so Cueball will get bounce messages of the cron mailings instead of the mailings themselves. Interestingly, many mail servers limit the size of the original message contained in the bounce, so depending on the details, the storage used by the e-mails is increased or reduced compared to the previous situation. In any case, Cueball's action displays misconceptions about cron on several levels, which seems to make perfect sense in the context of the strip. [[User:guest|guest]] ([[User talk:guest|talk]]) 14:24, 5 September 2016 (UTC)
:Unfortunately this huge question is undecidable (by trivial reduction to halting problem) --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.126|172.68.54.126]] 08:10, 3 September 2016 (UTC)
The current explanation misses a part of the joke present in Cueball's last statement: he is considering the cron program to be somehow sentient and able to make a decision between sending the email (is it really important?) and its self-preservation by not trashing its own config file. He is thus daring cron to continue sending emails at the risk of 'self-destruction'. {{unsigned ip|141.101.98.90}}

- I also feel like the part of the joke is the cron has been sending him useless mail for 15 years. So now, he is sending cron useless mail {{unsigned ip|162.158.69.83}}
:: (Also that Cueball is evidently using a 15 year old laptop! This deepens the question because he's probably never upgraded it and therefore has 15 year old copy of cron) [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 15:20, 4 September 2016 (UTC)

This states it can be run as infrequently as once a year, however by using February 29th, you can have it run once every 4 years (exc ever 100 inc every 400). But I think you might be able to get better by also setting it to run on a day of the week. e.g. February 29th, which is a Monday, which would then (after this year) not run for another 28 years, next running on February 29th, 2044.

Should that be noted in the article or is it a needless complication? (Also, I don't know what day of the week is what for this syntax).[[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.156|108.162.250.156]] 21:13, 2 September 2016 (UTC)
:That's interesting! but I don't think it's relevant to the joke. [[User:NotLock|NotLock]] ([[User talk:NotLock|talk]]) 23:13, 2 September 2016 (UTC)

:If you specify a day of week and a day of month it runs on both, so "11 59 29 2 1" would run at 11:59 on every Monday in February, as well as on February 29, not just on any February 29 that happened to be a Monday.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.11|108.162.219.11]] 05:18, 3 September 2016 (UTC)

I'm hesitant to make substantial edits as a random non-registered IP address, but I do feel like this explanation could be improved if a lot of the technical details were removed. For example, the format of a crontab file and how it is parsed distracts a bit from the joke. For a non-technical audience, it would be much more concise to simply note that the file has a specific format, and piping random emails to it would probably break all of cron. In my opinion, the current explanation loses the forest for the trees. For me, the key part of the joke is Cueball doesn't know cron, Ponytail explains it, Cueball conducts a response which is intuitive in the real world ("okay, cron, if you think it's that important then you deal with it!") which would be horrible in a computer. Ponytail's comment on it being harsh, and that it would accidentally solve the problem is the punchline. I think all the other technical details distracts from that simple explanation. {{unsigned ip|108.162.216.87}}
: I would agree. Understanding how exactly cron works isn't really necessary to understand the comic and its humor. Perhaps linking to some "cron for dummies" tutorial for those interested[[Special:Contributions/141.101.91.223|141.101.91.223]] 04:03, 3 September 2016 (UTC)

What exactly does "hardball" mean? Is it a US slang term or such?[[Special:Contributions/141.101.91.223|141.101.91.223]] 04:03, 3 September 2016 (UTC)
:"Playing hardball" is an idiom, meaning "to act strong & aggressive about an issue" [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.114|108.162.245.114]] 05:23, 3 September 2016 (UTC)

With "YOUR MOVE, CRON." Cueball adapts a famous movie quote ("Your move, creep.") from Robocop (1987) as if he would strike back against "the machine" from a similar age (admitted, cron is slightly older, but then again Robocop also plays 20 minutes into the future). [[User:Renormalist|Renormalist]] ([[User talk:Renormalist|talk]]) 06:35, 3 September 2016 (UTC)

Yeah, useless crap. I have smartd on my harddrives and still don't get any warnings that they are about to fail. Well except for all the cron emails I have been ignoring for a decade.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.83.240|162.158.83.240]] 09:15, 3 September 2016 (UTC)

A few corrections: (1) Setting MAILTO=/etc/crontab only affect the system-wide crontab. User crontabs will continue to run as normal. Cueball's cronjob runs under his account (we know that because "he has mail") therefore nothing will change as far as he is concerned. (2) MAILTO appends to the named file, therefore the existing lines in /etc/crontab will not be deleted and will continue to run as normal - the worse that can happen is that new, spurious, cronjobs can be introduced (3) in most modern versions of cron, you can run use a /X syntax which will cause X-1 executions to be skipped (for example 20 10 2 1/5 * will run once every 5 years - assuming the system has not been rebooted in the interim) [[User:Sysin|Sysin]] ([[User talk:Sysin|talk]]) 11:28, 3 September 2016 (UTC)

I agree that the explanation is overly technical, especially considering this Wiki exists largely as a resource to laypeople. A succinct explanation of the joke (the crux of which being that Cueball is actively trying to threaten a computer program) would be preferential to passing off a man page as an ExplainXKCD article. Although linking to a more detailed breakdown of how Cron functions isn't a bad idea at all. This is a pretty good one http://www.unixgeeks.org/security/newbie/unix/cron-1.html {{unsigned ip|108.162.221.148}}

: The joke hinges on a technical matter - and without the technical detail, this would not be an explanation.

: As is often the case with xkcd humor, this cartoon is "layered" so that people with a little knowledge get a joke - but people with deeper knowledge get a bigger joke - or possibly multiple jokes.

: At the topmost layer, Cueball takes a typically unconventional approach to computer problems and is feeding cron with it's own junk - which seems like a small victory - if only a moral victory. Good joke.

: At the second layer, if Cueball can indeed choke cron with it's own junk, then whatever important work that cron is doing will not be done, and this will have a deleterious effect on his computer - so he'll lose out by doing this...but possibly in only a very minor way. This is a better joke because we all love it when an idiotic move results in payback!

: At the third layer, the key to the humor for me is that Cueball has fired the first volley in a "war" - and it is one that he may or may not win. The outcome depends subtly on how his version of cron works...and the outcome is far from certain. If his version of cron ignores errors in the crontab file - then he may cause a violent "explosion" in the number of messages sent by the tool - resulting in his hard drive filling up with crap much more quickly than it was before he knew this was happening...and he'll open up an exploit into his system (the bad guy can send his old-school UNIX account an email containing a cron job request to do something evil (like erasing his entire hard drive, for example). On the other hand if cron refuses to do any work whatever when there is an error then cron's normal activities (mostly organizing and pruning logfiles and such) will be disabled and the hard drive will fill up with those instead. But the idea that there are multiple cron files - per user and per day/week/month - along with personal crontab files that may now fail, or may continue to spew crap, makes this a rather subtle (and DEEPLY technical) question.

: Now this isn't just a joke - it's a deep puzzle with surprising consequences...we have to work hard to decide what the outcome would be. Geeks enjoy that kind of thing - so at the third level, this is a deep and interesting question...and an even better joke for those "in the know".

: Viewed as a "war" between Cueball and cron, I very much doubt that Cueball's first shot will be sufficient to "win" - or indeed improve his situation in any useful way. But unlike most things you can do to screw up a computer, this one could take months or even years to play out...cron's revenge will likely be slow - but possibly devastating.

:* If cron dies because of crap in crontab - and if Cueball's computer doesn't do much of any importance using cron - then Cueball wins.

:* If cron merely ignores the crap at the end of the crontab - then Cueball's hard drive will still slowly fill with crap (albeit in an obscure system file rather than in an obsolete email system)...we can regard this as "draw" between Cueball and cron.

:* If cron produces more error messages because of the crap - and decides to email it to Cueball, then the hard drive may fill up at an exponential rate and cron will steal increasing amounts of CPU time until the laptop locks up and life for Cueball becomes much harder! Cron "wins" and the crowd goes wild! :-)

: But the reasons behind that are very subtle - and need to be explained. Since the role of explainxkcd is to provide these explanations to the semi-layperson - some significant amount of technical information is indeed required here in order to fully understand all of the layers of the joke.

: One often wonders whether Randall fully understands all of the layers! I've been using UNIX, then MINIX, now Linux since around 1976 - and predicting the outcome of Cueball's actions is far from obvious without diving into the manuals. (And, if I'm honest...trying it on an old Raspberry Pi that I happen to have lying around! :-)

: Another problem here is that if Cueball has been getting these messages for 15 years - then he's using a 15 year old laptop that's probably never been upgraded. Hence all discussion of what "modern" versions of cron might do could be entirely moot. What did circa 2001 versions of cron do?
: [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 15:09, 4 September 2016 (UTC)

::What makes you think he never upgraded? Lot of distributions allow to be upgraded without losing /var/spool/mail, and if the problem is caused by bad configuration, it can similarly "survive" several upgrades, especially if done by Cueball ("configuration file was changed - update? Nah ...")
::Oh, and one think cron is CERTAINLY doing is rotating log files. And because linux computer ALWAYS generates at least some log files, killing cron can still fill the disk. Only way Cueball can win is if the problematic command is in /etc/crontab, the useful commands are in /etc/cron.d/ and adding mail to /etc/crontab will make cron ignore /etc/crontab. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 21:22, 4 September 2016 (UTC)

::: I think you can explain the purpose of cron quite well without having to explain how every parameter in it works. The format of the crontab is never addressed in the comic itself, and in fact going that deep into the explanation kinda ruins the humor. You could just as easily explain the joke like this:

:::: "In Unix-based systems, the 'cron' utility is used to run system tasks on a schedule. The '/etc/crontab' file is a configuration file that specifies each scheduled job - specifically at what times the job will run, which user account under which to run the job, and the command-line for the job itself. Cueball apparently believes that sending the output of the cron program to this file will either break cron or cause it to start spamming itself with exponentially more jobs. In reality, the former would be true, as the new lines of output would not be in a format that cron understands, resulting in it ignoring the whole file."

::: People who aren't familiar with cron really only need to know what it does and its default behavior (to send mail to a file) to understand the joke. I don't think the purpose of this wiki is to reproduce man documents. [[User:KieferSkunk|KieferSkunk]] ([[User talk:KieferSkunk|talk]]) 05:25, 5 September 2016 (UTC)
:::: Agree. I - as a specimen of "People who aren't familiar with cron" - think that the syntax of cron files doesen't really matter for understanding the joke. In fact I skipped the box and the paragraph below entirely after realising there's only explanation of how a cron command is set up. And I don't feel like I've missed something. After eventually reading the paragraph I think the only part worth mentioning is the last sentence. So I vote for removing that box/paragraph or at least replacing it with your proposal. [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 07:07, 5 September 2016 (UTC)
::::: Done. I incorporated other parts of the original explanation into what I think is a pretty complete discussion about the essence of the comic, without going too deep into the technical details. Feel free to fine-tune. :) [[User:KieferSkunk|KieferSkunk]] ([[User talk:KieferSkunk|talk]]) 07:47, 5 September 2016 (UTC)
:::::: Much better :) [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 08:30, 5 September 2016 (UTC)

I like the comics about the tech-inept Cueball and the embarrassed/condescending Ponytail. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.210.196|108.162.210.196]] 04:26, 5 September 2016 (UTC)

1687: World War III+

2016-05-31T10:17:21Z

Guest: /* Explanation */ use template:wto link to wikiquote:World War III

{{comic
| number = 1687
| date = May 30, 2016
| title = World War III+
| image = world_war_iii.png
| titletext = I hate how the media only ever uses the first part of this quote, stripping it of its important context.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|There seems to be more to this comic than so far explained. Maybe a reference to all the Star Wars movies now planned...?}}
This comic takes a famous quote {{w|wikiquote:World War III |attributed}} to {{w|Albert Einstein}}, and expands upon it to absurd levels. The original quote is: "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." The basic premise of this quote is that World War III would be so devastating to the world that all humanity's progress would be wiped out and we would return to the technological level of the Stone Age.

This comic expands the original quote letting Einstein suggest what other weapons future World Wars will be fought with:
*V: Crossbows. Crossbows are type of bow that is easier to aim and fire than a regular longbow, but is much more difficult to load. Most often used in medieval eras.
*VI: Lasers. In science fiction, blasts of lasers are often used instead of conventional guns. This suggests that society would have managed to rebuild lasers by World War VI.
*VII: Blowguns. A blowgun is a small tube loaded with a small dart or other projectile, fired by blowing into one end. Once again, the world has been devastated, and returned to a simpler technology.
*VIII-XI: Skipped over.
*XII: The same weapons as III, but in underground tunnels. This is a parody of saying that X is basically Y 'but in space/underwater/etc', and, if the quote's well-known meaning is accepted, this has terrifying implications for the state of the world. It could also be a reference to HG Well's {{w|The Time Machine}} where the {{w|Morlock}}'s are the master race of the future living in underground caves. Also the fact that he did not know which weapons were used in III makes it weird that he knows the same weapons will be used again later.
*XIII is completely unmentioned. This could be an error, but it makes some sense, considering that 13 is a number considered unlucky in many Western cultures and is somtimes skipped. For example, many tall buildings don't have a floor numbered 13, skipping straight from 12 to 14.
*Before Einstein can discuss World War XIV, the audience of his quote seems to be going away. Einstein claims to have 'a whole list', suggesting that he may know a lot about the future wars to come more so than he has already suggested.

In the title text [[Randall]] feigns annoyance about how the media only use the first part of the quote, thus taking it out of context. He implies that this is actually a full quote by Einstein and that all other occurrences using only the "original" version of this quote are misrepresenting it. In this particular case it is a much stronger quote than the long version from the comic, but it is often the case that quotes taken out of context seem to have an entirely different meaning than originally intended.

==Transcript==
:[A quote with white text on black background:]
:{| class="wikitable"
|style="background-color:black;"|"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. World War V will be fought with crossbows, World War VI will be lasers, and World War VII will be blowguns. I don't know about World Wars VIII through XI. World War XII will use the same weapons as III, but will be fought entirely within underground tunnels. World War XIV will—Hey, come back! I have a whole list!"                   —''Albert Einstein''
|}

{{comic discussion}}

1477: Star Wars

2015-12-18T17:03:12Z

Guest: /* Trivia */

{{comic
| number = 1477
| date = January 23, 2015
| title = Star Wars
| image = star_wars_1.png
| titletext = A long, long time (plus 40 years) ago, in a galaxy far, far away (plus a corrective factor involving the Hubble constant) ...
}}

==Explanation==
This is another comic based on pointing out just how much time has passed since the release of a particular film. The same basis is found in [[1393: Timeghost]] and [[891: Movie Ages]], and a similar theme is used in [[647: Scary]] and [[973: MTV Generation]]. Many people remember going to see major films at the time of release, and in their mind it may seem like "just a few years ago". In reality however, many years have passed, and it comes as a shock to realise just how long ago it was.

In the first panel, [[Cueball]] states that we are approaching the ''Back to the Future'' date (October 21, 2015), which is the date that protagonist Marty McFly travels to in ''{{w|Back to the Future Part II}}'', released in 1989. Megan adds that we're even closer to May 13, 2015, the "''{{w|Star Wars}}'' tipping point".

The original first set of ''Star Wars'' films was released as a trilogy over the span of 6 years, with the third one, ''{{w|Return of the Jedi}}'' being released on May 25, 1983. After that, no films were released for 16 years until {{w|Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace|''The Phantom Menace''}} on May 19, 1999, the first in a trilogy of prequels. Thus up until now, the length of time between the two films, [http://www.timeanddate.com/date/durationresult.html?m1=5&d1=25&y1=1983&m2=5&d2=19&y2=1999&ti=on 5,839 days], has been greater than the time between the latter film and the present. Megan points out that May 13, 2015 will mark [http://www.timeanddate.com/date/durationresult.html?m1=5&d1=19&y1=1999&m2=5&d2=13&y2=2015&ti=on 5,839 days] after the release of ''The Phantom Menace'', meaning that for the first time the release date of the two films will be closer together than the latter film is to the present day.

In the final panel, Cueball points out how weird it is that he (along with most other people) are regularly surprised at the passage of time, given how predictable time is by its very nature. Megan's last line is a reference to the famous opening sequence used in the ''Star Wars'' films, which begins "A long time ago...".

The title text repeats the opening text from the films, inserting Megan's suggestion for changing the duration, and extending it to include the {{w|Hubble constant}} for adjusting the distance estimation. The Hubble constant is a value that describes an estimated rate of expansion of the universe. This expansion means that during the 40 years that have passed since the release of the first Star Wars movie, the "galaxy far, far away" has gotten even farther away.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are walking together.]
:Cueball: We're almost at the ''Back to the Future'' date.
:Megan: We're even closer to the ''Star Wars'' tipping point.
:Cueball: The what?

:[Diagram showing a timeline from before 1980 to about 2020. Markers on the line indicate the release date of ''Return of the Jedi'', the release date of ''The Phantom Menace'', and May 13th, with arrows showing the intervals in between these three points.]
:Megan: On May 13th, ''The Phantom Menace'' will have come out closer to ''Return of the Jedi'' than to the present
:Cueball: Wow.

:[Cueball and Megan stop walking. Megan is in a reflective pose with her hand on her chin.]
:Cueball: It's weird how I'm constantly surprised by the passage of time when it's literally the most predictable thing in the universe.
:Megan: You know, "A long time ago" should have "Plus four more decades" added in rereleases.

==Trivia==
[[File:star_wars.png|thumb|Original image.]] When the comic first went live, there was a white horizontal line through the dates due to a mistake on Randall's part while editing the image. It has since been fixed on the website, but the original is still available here.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

1477: Star Wars

2015-12-18T16:51:35Z

Guest: updated image and explanation

{{comic
| number = 1477
| date = January 23, 2015
| title = Star Wars
| image = star_wars_1.png
| titletext = A long, long time (plus 40 years) ago, in a galaxy far, far away (plus a corrective factor involving the Hubble constant) ...
}}

==Explanation==
This is another comic based on pointing out just how much time has passed since the release of a particular film. The same basis is found in [[1393: Timeghost]] and [[891: Movie Ages]], and a similar theme is used in [[647: Scary]] and [[973: MTV Generation]]. Many people remember going to see major films at the time of release, and in their mind it may seem like "just a few years ago". In reality however, many years have passed, and it comes as a shock to realise just how long ago it was.

In the first panel, [[Cueball]] states that we are approaching the ''Back to the Future'' date (October 21, 2015), which is the date that protagonist Marty McFly travels to in ''{{w|Back to the Future Part II}}'', released in 1989. Megan adds that we're even closer to May 13, 2015, the "''{{w|Star Wars}}'' tipping point".

The original first set of ''Star Wars'' films was released as a trilogy over the span of 6 years, with the third one, ''{{w|Return of the Jedi}}'' being released on May 25, 1983. After that, no films were released for 16 years until {{w|Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace|''The Phantom Menace''}} on May 19, 1999, the first in a trilogy of prequels. Thus up until now, the length of time between the two films, [http://www.timeanddate.com/date/durationresult.html?m1=5&d1=25&y1=1983&m2=5&d2=19&y2=1999&ti=on 5,839 days], has been greater than the time between the latter film and the present. Megan points out that May 13, 2015 will mark [http://www.timeanddate.com/date/durationresult.html?m1=5&d1=19&y1=1999&m2=5&d2=13&y2=2015&ti=on 5,839 days] after the release of ''The Phantom Menace'', meaning that for the first time the release date of the two films will be closer together than the latter film is to the present day.

In the final panel, Cueball points out how weird it is that he (along with most other people) are regularly surprised at the passage of time, given how predictable time is by its very nature. Megan's last line is a reference to the famous opening sequence used in the ''Star Wars'' films, which begins "A long time ago...".

The title text repeats the opening text from the films, inserting Megan's suggestion for changing the duration, and extending it to include the {{w|Hubble constant}} for adjusting the distance estimation. The Hubble constant is a value that describes an estimated rate of expansion of the universe. This expansion means that during the 40 years that have passed since the release of the first Star Wars movie, the "galaxy far, far away" has gotten even farther away.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are walking together.]
:Cueball: We're almost at the ''Back to the Future'' date.
:Megan: We're even closer to the ''Star Wars'' tipping point.
:Cueball: The what?

:[Diagram showing a timeline from before 1980 to about 2020. Markers on the line indicate the release date of ''Return of the Jedi'', the release date of ''The Phantom Menace'', and May 13th, with arrows showing the intervals in between these three points.]
:Megan: On May 13th, ''The Phantom Menace'' will have come out closer to ''Return of the Jedi'' than to the present
:Cueball: Wow.

:[Cueball and Megan stop walking. Megan is in a reflective pose with her hand on her chin.]
:Cueball: It's weird how I'm constantly surprised by the passage of time when it's literally the most predictable thing in the universe.
:Megan: You know, "A long time ago" should have "Plus four more decades" added in rereleases.

==Trivia==
[[File:star_wars.png|thumb|Original image.]] When the comic first went live, there was a white horizontal line through the dates due to a mistake onn Randall's part while editing the image. It has since been fixed on the website, but the original is still available here.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

File:star wars 1.png

2015-12-18T16:36:12Z

Guest: Fixed version of comic 1477 as seen on the website.

== Summary ==
Fixed version of comic 1477 as seen on the website.
== Licensing ==
{{XKCD file}}

Talk:1490: Atoms

2015-02-24T17:40:42Z

Guest: form/from mistake comment

"My dad FORM the dog"? Typo in the actual comic or just the wiki?
[[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.240|199.27.128.240]] 05:47, 23 February 2015 (UTC)Anonymous
: The actual comment, the wiki just grabs what the website has listed.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.24|108.162.216.24]] 05:56, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
:: Generally in cases like this, it's customary to add ''[sic]'' to indicate any typoes ''[sic]'' or grammarization ''[sic]'' mistakes in the original techs. ''[sic]''. [[User:KieferSkunk|KieferSkunk]] ([[User talk:KieferSkunk|talk]]) 19:55, 23 February 2015 (UTC) ''[sic]''
plutonium = radiation exposure, or pacemaker?
: Radiation exposure wouldn't give you plutonium, maybe the byproducts of its fission. I'm thinking that, whatever it is, it mutated Beret Guy in the womb, hence why he has this strange superpower.--[[User:Druid816|Druid816]] ([[User talk:Druid816|talk]]) 06:52, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
: Referencing Pink Floyd's 1970 album 'Atom Heart Mother' I think.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.225.122|108.162.225.122]] 07:25, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
this guy sees by which elements are contained, not by which visible light?
--[[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.172|199.27.128.172]] 06:14, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

Are the elements actually representing their atomic symbols? Be, O, S, Z? Not sure what the metal-in-the-face comment is about.

--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.156|108.162.250.156]] 07:47, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

: A deliberate BeOS reference? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.4|141.101.99.4]] 14:12, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

: Metal in the face might be a comment on braces, and how uncomfortable people are about having noticable ones. --
[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.41|141.101.104.41]] 08:37, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
::Are there braces that aren't very noticeable? I can see adults being a little uncomfortable, but they're ocmmon enough on kids that kids aren't going to be uncomfortable with them. {{unsigned ip|108.162.215.98}}
: (Dental) fillings are explicitly mentioned as a possible source of metal. --[[Special:Contributions/188.114.102.75|188.114.102.75]] 09:26, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
Perhaps the plutonium is coming from his mother smoking? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.102|141.101.99.102]] 08:51, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

Possibly a reference to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_Silkwood Silkwood]?
[[User:DaveHowe|DaveHowe]] ([[User talk:DaveHowe|talk]]) 20:36, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unethical_human_experimentation_in_the_United_States#Plutonium_experiments [[User:Andries|Andries]] ([[User talk:Andries|talk]]) 09:02, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

I read it as both his mother and him beeing a robot or cyborg, which she never told him. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.75.77|141.101.75.77]] 09:30, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

: Yes, I rather thought it might be a Terminator 2 reference (based on the scene in which the T-1000 replaces John Connor's mother.) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.4|141.101.99.4]] 14:12, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

:: The first thing I thought was Terminator, but in looking at their wiki there's no plutonium reference for their fuel cells, as far as I can tell (http://terminator.wikia.com/wiki/Fuel_cell). {{unsigned ip|108.162.215.98}}

: I also assumed it was a reference to some kind of nuclear powered cyborg. Being partially composed of electronic parts could also account for his unusually high levels of Zinc and could explain why he sees people as a list of their constituent particles. {{unsigned ip|173.245.55.29}}

-- did the radiation give him those superpowers? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.222.204|108.162.222.204]] 11:05, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

He can't distinguish Dad and Dog, so he wasn't a genious back then. So what if the Plutonium wasn't a super complex mysterium, just one of the most important things for an infant, her breasts (in this case maby big ons).
[[Special:Contributions/141.101.92.108|141.101.92.108]] 11:44, 23 February 2015 (UTC) Pietro

I agree with 141.101.80.53. Beret Guy is answering Megan's question about what is wrong with him, not being arrogant. Arrogant would be out of character for Beret Guy, but giving an unusual answer to a rhetorical question would be true to character. [[User:Mwburden|mwburden]] ([[User talk:Mwburden|talk]]) 12:42, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

Perhaps too oddball a theory, but maybe his mom was actually a spacecraft powered by plutonium (e.g. [[Wikipedia:Galileo (spacecraft)#Electrical_power | Galileo(spacecraft)]]), making his father a planet and the dog a moon.
[[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.182|173.245.56.182]] 12:43, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
:Wouldn't the dog need to be a dwarf planet? :) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.156|108.162.250.156]] 12:54, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
:What would that make him? [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 21:48, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
::Pluto! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.156|108.162.250.156]] 13:57, 24 February 2015 (UTC)

When I read the alt text the first time around, I read it as platinum and figured Randall meant an IUD... perhaps that was a typo on his part as well (much like the "form" typo mentioned above)? Can't figured out another reasonable plutonium explanation. --[[User:Canned Soul|Canned Soul]] ([[User talk:Canned Soul|talk]]) 14:28, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
: If you Google "plutonium in IUDs" you get some interesting results. Perhaps early copper IUDs contained a small amount of incidental plutonium?[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.191|108.162.216.191]] 19:26, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

I like the plutonium experiments reverence, but are strongly against the suggestion in the explanation that Pu is not found in nature: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plutonium#Occurrence Do NOT diss Oklo! Oklo is badass! [[User:Tier666|Tier666]] ([[User talk:Tier666|talk]]) 15:23, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

Putting in my own two bits, my first thought reading the title text was that she had a pacemaker. The fact that there were plutoniu pacemakers and the fact he mentioned that they were "in her middle" make me think "pacemaker". But I digress. As far as the "too much zinc", ??? [[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.186|199.27.128.186]] 02:20, 24 February 2015 (UTC)

Not sure if it's an inspiration, but this is an example of people not knowing what common human experiences they are missing (see: http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/03/17/what-universal-human-experiences-are-you-missing-without-realizing-it/). Also, "or she was the victim of unethical medical experimentation. Thus the probable reason for his abnormality." is ridiculous - no amount of medical experimentation will cause this. The probable reason for his abnormality is magic. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.241.17|108.162.241.17]] 15:35, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
:Agree: I removed "Thus the probable reason for his abnormality." {{unsigned ip|141.101.98.217}}

I believe that the "Too Much Zinc?" - is an answer to what might be wrong with him, not a retort to Megan's tone. In fact, zinc is linked to eyesight, see for instance https://www.nei.nih.gov/news/pressreleases/101201 and other sources, and this "zinc overdose" might be believed by white beret guy to relate to his "super-human" eyesight? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.80.53|141.101.80.53]]

The link to the UPPU club (You Pee Pu) appears to be broken. EDIT: fixed now, thanks whoever fixed it. {{unsigned ip|108.162.249.181}}

Did anyone else notice that this is the second comic in a row about elementary particles? I suspect a series coming up. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 21:48, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

Pacemakers are usually implanted round the clavicle, so I'm not satisfied with the theory that the plutonium is from a pacemaker. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.46|141.101.104.46]] 08:40, 24 February 2015 (UTC)

The "form"/"from" mistake was corrected in the original strip, I applied the changes to the article. -- [[User:guest|guest]] ([[User talk:guest|talk]]) 17:40, 24 February 2015 (UTC)