explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1584: Moments of Inspiration

2023-07-09T02:40:14Z

Marco262:

{{comic
| number = 1584
| date = September 30, 2015
| title = Moments of Inspiration
| image = moments_of_inspiration.png
| titletext = Charles, I just talked to John and Mildred, who run that company selling seeds and nuts, and their kids with MOUTHS are starving!
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Isaac Newton}}'s original examples describing the {{w|Newton's law of universal gravitation|force of gravity}} show an apple falling from a tree in order to explain why the apple falls toward the Earth, instead of the Earth falling toward the apple. He is often said to have been inspired by watching {{w|Isaac_Newton#Apple_incident|falling apple}}s; in common folklore, this developed into the legend that he was actually ''struck'' by an apple. The first part of this comic retells that famous legend. The later panels depict similar (but more and more implausible) legends that could emerge if we were to assume that other scientists' most famous examples and discoveries were based on actually observing some mundane everyday event taking place.

In the first situation, we not only see the apple fall on Newton's head, we also see the Moon. This was one of the first astronomical objects on which he used his theory of gravity. He calculated its orbit around the Earth and found that it fit with the theory.

In the second situation, Cueball throws a baseball towards {{w|Lise Meitner}}, but when she fails to catch the ball it hits one of her porcelain model-atoms. The baseball may be a reference to the method Meitner, along with chemists Otto Hahn and Fritz Strassmann, used to split thorium for the first time: by bombarding it with neutrons. The porcelain models might be a reference to {{w|Meissen porcelain}}, in German called "Meißner Porzellan", where "Meißner" is phonetically very similar to "Meitner". Meitner has previously been mentioned in the comic [[896: Marie Curie]].

In the third situation, it is indicated that half of {{w|Charles Darwin}}'s children had {{w|beaks}}, a property not normally found in human children.{{Citation needed}} This would make it very difficult for them to drink soda from a glass or through a straw, compared to his normal children with mouths. Based on this observation he developed his ideas about natural selection and {{w|evolution}}. The comic is unclear on whether this makes them more or less fit to survive and reproduce. This is a reference to Darwin's initial findings on the {{w|HMS Beagle}} on how {{w|Galapagos}} {{w|finches}} with differently shaped beaks are better suited for specific types of food and therefore are better selected for in environments where those foods are available. The title text furthers this, see below. Darwin later in life feared that, having married his cousin, their {{w|consanguinity}} would increase the risk that {{w|Charles_Darwin#Children|his children}} would be born with birth defects (although he did not fear that they would be born with beaks). The difficulty caused by beaks when drinking liquids could be a reference to the Aesop's fable ''{{w|The Fox and the Stork}}''.

In the fourth situation {{w|Albert Einstein}} remarks to a man that it's annoying that the man's twin brother keeps flashing a light from a train when Einstein is trying to check his clock. He then comes to a sudden revelation. This references several of Einstein's (different — they make little sense together in this manner) thought experiments on {{w|special relativity}}, such as the {{w|twin paradox}} (the twin on the train should be younger after decelerating to a stop), a clock built from a beam of light, the {{w|time dilation}} experienced by the observer in the moving {{w|frame of reference}}, and the various constructs involving {{w|Einstein's thought experiments#Trains, embankments, and lightning flashes|trains and light(ning) flashes}} used to illustrate the {{w|relativity of simultaneity}}.

The title text shows that beaks rather than mouths are more useful for eating foods that have shells that need to be cracked open before eating like nuts and seeds. Here it is clear that in the John and Mildred family you starve if you cannot eat such foods, and thus it's an advantage for survival to have a beak instead of a normal mouth. "John" and "Mildred" may be Mildred and {{w|John T. Scopes}} of the famous 1925 "{{w|Scopes Trial|monkey trial}}" in which John was fined $100 for teaching evolution in a Tennessee school.

==Transcript==
:[Isaac Newton, with curly long hair, sits under a tree. A waning crescent moon can be seen. An apple falls and hits him on the head. There is a caption in a frame that breaks the top border of the main frame:]
:Isaac Newton
:Apple falling: Bonk
:Isaac Newton: ''Ow!''

:[Isaac Newton rubs his sore head.]
:Isaac Newton: Aha!

:[Cueball throws a baseball towards Lise Meitner with short dark hair. (The ball can be seen in the next frame). She turns towards him too late to react and completely fails to even try catching the ball. There is a caption in a frame that breaks the top border of the main frame:]
:Lise Meitner
:Cueball: Hey Lise! Think fast!
:Ball hitting something (off-screen): Crash

:[Lise takes her hands to her mouth and she watches the broken porcelain atom lying in two pieces on the floor where it has fallen off a desk. On the desk, three other intact atoms can be seen. The baseball lies behind her.]
:Lise Meitner: Oh no! My collection of porcelain atoms!
:Lise Meitner:...Hmm.

:[Four kids are standing in front of Megan and Charles Darwin (with a big beard and hair behind the ears). All the kids are trying to drink a glass of soda with a straw in them. The first kid is a boy with dark flat hair and sips soda through the straw with his mouth. The next kid is a boy with standing black hair, he tries in vain to drink with his beak open on each side of the glass. The third kid is a girl with her hair in a bun. She tries to get her beak into the glass which she has put on the floor. The last kid is a boy version of Cueball who slurps his soda through the straw. There is a caption in a frame that breaks the top border of the main frame:]
:Charles Darwin
:Megan: I gave our kids soda, but the ones with beaks always have trouble drinking it.
:Charles Darwin: I've noticed that...
:Boy with flat dark hair: Sip sip
:Boy with standing black hair and a beak: Crunch
:Girl with her hair in a bun and a beak: Peck peck
:Cueball like kid: Sluurp

:[A hairy guy is standing in front of Albert Einstein (with wild hair and a mustache), who is holding one hand to his head and has a clock in his other hand. Behind them is a train, with a locomotive at the front and a wagon behind that stretches beyond the frame. Another hairy guy has his head out of the front window of the wagon and is flashing a light towards the other two. In the next three windows can be seen passengers, two with Cueball like heads and one with hair. There is a caption in a frame that breaks the top border of the main frame:]
:Albert Einstein
:Albert Einstein: I wish your twin brother would stop shining lights at us from that train. I can barely see my clock!
:Albert Einstein: ...Wait!

==Trivia==
This comic appeared on xkcd's ten-year anniversary.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Kids]]

1584: Moments of Inspiration

2023-07-09T02:37:42Z

Marco262:

{{comic
| number = 1584
| date = September 30, 2015
| title = Moments of Inspiration
| image = moments_of_inspiration.png
| titletext = Charles, I just talked to John and Mildred, who run that company selling seeds and nuts, and their kids with MOUTHS are starving!
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Isaac Newton}}'s original examples describing the {{w|Newton's law of universal gravitation|force of gravity}} show an apple falling from a tree in order to explain why the apple falls toward the Earth, instead of the Earth falling toward the apple. He is often said to have been inspired by watching {{w|Isaac_Newton#Apple_incident|falling apple}}s; in common folklore, this developed into the legend that he was actually ''struck'' by an apple. The first part of this comic retells that famous legend. The later panels depict similar (but more and more implausible) legends that could emerge if we were to assume that other scientists' most famous examples and discoveries were based on actually observing some mundane everyday event taking place.

In the first situation, we not only see the apple fall on Newton's head, we also see the Moon. This was one of the first astronomical objects on which he used his theory of gravity. He calculated its orbit around the Earth and found that it fit with the theory.

In the second situation, Cueball throws a baseball towards {{w|Lise Meitner}}, but when she fails to catch the ball it hits one of her porcelain model-atoms. In this way, Meitner discovered a way to split the atom. The porcelain models might be a reference to {{w|Meissen porcelain}}, in German called "Meißner Porzellan", where "Meißner" is phonetically very similar to "Meitner". Meitner has previously been mentioned in the comic [[896: Marie Curie]].

In the third situation, it is indicated that half of {{w|Charles Darwin}}'s children had {{w|beaks}}, a property not normally found in human children.{{Citation needed}} This would make it very difficult for them to drink soda from a glass or through a straw, compared to his normal children with mouths. Based on this observation he developed his ideas about natural selection and {{w|evolution}}. The comic is unclear on whether this makes them more or less fit to survive and reproduce. This is a reference to Darwin's initial findings on the {{w|HMS Beagle}} on how {{w|Galapagos}} {{w|finches}} with differently shaped beaks are better suited for specific types of food and therefore are better selected for in environments where those foods are available. The title text furthers this, see below. Darwin later in life feared that, having married his cousin, their {{w|consanguinity}} would increase the risk that {{w|Charles_Darwin#Children|his children}} would be born with birth defects (although he did not fear that they would be born with beaks). The difficulty caused by beaks when drinking liquids could be a reference to the Aesop's fable ''{{w|The Fox and the Stork}}''.

In the fourth situation {{w|Albert Einstein}} remarks to a man that it's annoying that the man's twin brother keeps flashing a light from a train when Einstein is trying to check his clock. He then comes to a sudden revelation. This references several of Einstein's (different — they make little sense together in this manner) thought experiments on {{w|special relativity}}, such as the {{w|twin paradox}} (the twin on the train should be younger after decelerating to a stop), a clock built from a beam of light, the {{w|time dilation}} experienced by the observer in the moving {{w|frame of reference}}, and the various constructs involving {{w|Einstein's thought experiments#Trains, embankments, and lightning flashes|trains and light(ning) flashes}} used to illustrate the {{w|relativity of simultaneity}}.

The title text shows that beaks rather than mouths are more useful for eating foods that have shells that need to be cracked open before eating like nuts and seeds. Here it is clear that in the John and Mildred family you starve if you cannot eat such foods, and thus it's an advantage for survival to have a beak instead of a normal mouth. "John" and "Mildred" may be Mildred and {{w|John T. Scopes}} of the famous 1925 "{{w|Scopes Trial|monkey trial}}" in which John was fined $100 for teaching evolution in a Tennessee school.

==Transcript==
:[Isaac Newton, with curly long hair, sits under a tree. A waning crescent moon can be seen. An apple falls and hits him on the head. There is a caption in a frame that breaks the top border of the main frame:]
:Isaac Newton
:Apple falling: Bonk
:Isaac Newton: ''Ow!''

:[Isaac Newton rubs his sore head.]
:Isaac Newton: Aha!

:[Cueball throws a baseball towards Lise Meitner with short dark hair. (The ball can be seen in the next frame). She turns towards him too late to react and completely fails to even try catching the ball. There is a caption in a frame that breaks the top border of the main frame:]
:Lise Meitner
:Cueball: Hey Lise! Think fast!
:Ball hitting something (off-screen): Crash

:[Lise takes her hands to her mouth and she watches the broken porcelain atom lying in two pieces on the floor where it has fallen off a desk. On the desk, three other intact atoms can be seen. The baseball lies behind her.]
:Lise Meitner: Oh no! My collection of porcelain atoms!
:Lise Meitner:...Hmm.

:[Four kids are standing in front of Megan and Charles Darwin (with a big beard and hair behind the ears). All the kids are trying to drink a glass of soda with a straw in them. The first kid is a boy with dark flat hair and sips soda through the straw with his mouth. The next kid is a boy with standing black hair, he tries in vain to drink with his beak open on each side of the glass. The third kid is a girl with her hair in a bun. She tries to get her beak into the glass which she has put on the floor. The last kid is a boy version of Cueball who slurps his soda through the straw. There is a caption in a frame that breaks the top border of the main frame:]
:Charles Darwin
:Megan: I gave our kids soda, but the ones with beaks always have trouble drinking it.
:Charles Darwin: I've noticed that...
:Boy with flat dark hair: Sip sip
:Boy with standing black hair and a beak: Crunch
:Girl with her hair in a bun and a beak: Peck peck
:Cueball like kid: Sluurp

:[A hairy guy is standing in front of Albert Einstein (with wild hair and a mustache), who is holding one hand to his head and has a clock in his other hand. Behind them is a train, with a locomotive at the front and a wagon behind that stretches beyond the frame. Another hairy guy has his head out of the front window of the wagon and is flashing a light towards the other two. In the next three windows can be seen passengers, two with Cueball like heads and one with hair. There is a caption in a frame that breaks the top border of the main frame:]
:Albert Einstein
:Albert Einstein: I wish your twin brother would stop shining lights at us from that train. I can barely see my clock!
:Albert Einstein: ...Wait!

==Trivia==
This comic appeared on xkcd's ten-year anniversary.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Kids]]

2104: Biff Tannen

2023-07-09T02:30:33Z

Marco262:

{{comic
| number = 2104
| date = January 28, 2019
| title = Biff Tannen
| image = biff_tannen.png
| titletext = I can't help myself; now I want to read a bunch of thinkpieces from newspapers in Biff's 1985 arguing over whether the growth of the region into a corporate dystopia was inevitable.
}}

==Explanation==
Cueball is expounding a theory to White Hat regarding the alternate timeline seen in the movie ''{{w|Back to the Future II}}'', in which the character {{w|Biff Tannen}} stole a {{w|DeLorean time machine|time machine}} and used it to travel 60 years into the past to 1955. In that timeline, Future Biff gave his younger self a [https://backtothefuture.fandom.com/wiki/Grays_Sports_Almanac sports almanac] containing 50 years of outcomes of sporting events, which enabled his younger self to earn millions from betting on {{w|horse races}}. The end result of this is that the now-altered present of 1985 has become a corporate dystopia due to the actions of the exceedingly wealthy Biff and his company, BiffCo.

Cueball's theory is that the people now living in this dystopian 1985 would never know that their timeline was altered; as far as they are concerned, theirs ''is'' the true timeline. Because of this, they would seek to analyze every detail of Biff Tannen's rise to power, inventing their own theories as to his success and arguing with each other over the supporting evidence.

However, in the third panel, it becomes clear that this has all merely been Cueball's elaborate setup for a bad pun, causing White Hat to voice his disapproval.

;''Back to the Future II''
This comic is based on ''{{w|Back to the Future II}}''. In this movie, the character {{w|Biff Tannen}} steals the {{w|DeLorean time machine|time machine}}, which is the main plot device, and uses it to go back in time from 2015 to 1955. He then gives Marty McFly’s [https://backtothefuture.fandom.com/wiki/Grays_Sports_Almanac sports almanac], containing the outcomes of 50 years (1950–2000) worth of sporting events, to his own younger self. His younger self uses this sports almanac to make millions by successfully betting on {{w|horse races}}. He then forms a company, and calls it [https://backtothefuture.fandom.com/wiki/BiffCo BiffCo]. In the movie, the protagonists reverse this, by going back to 1955 and stealing the almanac back soon after Biff delivered it. It is heavily implied that the universe where BiffCo exists, also called “[https://backtothefuture.fandom.com/wiki/1985A 1985A]” in the movie, stops existing after this change, since the Biff from 1985A tries to kill Marty to stop him from doing this. However, [[Cueball]] imagines the 1985A timeline as continuing to exist in parallel, rather than being destroyed by the almanac heist as the movie seems to imply. This is consistent with the {{w|multiverse}} theory.

The movie is set in the fictional town of {{w|Hill Valley (Back to the Future)|Hill Valley, California}}. When the protagonists return to 1985, they find that Biff has turned the town’s “Courthouse Square” into a 27-story casino, and generally taken over Hill Valley. This has apparently resulted in the town being overrun by armed gangs, and beset by crime, violence, corruption, and an overall atmosphere of quasi-dystopian misery. This is what Cueball refers to as “the decline of the city, and general social decay”.

;Counterfactuals
Cueball mentions that this universe – that is, the 1985A ''Back to the Future'' timeline – would not have any ''counterfactuals'' to work with. This is often short, in {{w|epistemology}}, for {{w|counterfactual conditionals}}, that is, conditional statements about what ''would'' be true if something ''were'' true that we know for a fact is not true. Randall’s ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' series is based on counterfactuals, since it explores hypotheticals—conditionals which are contrary to fact. For example, the first “what if?” post, about what would happen if you tried to hit a baseball that was thrown at 90% the speed of light, is a counterfactual, because we know for a fact that a baseball has never been thrown at such a speed{{Citation needed}}. In the case of the 1985A universe, they would not have any information on the ''counterfactuals'', that is, the facts about [https://backtothefuture.fandom.com/wiki/Timeline_1 what would happen] if Biff did not have this almanac.

;''Hillbilly Elegy''
''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillbilly_Elegy Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis]'' is a book, published in June 2016, that gives an account of growing up in a poor {{w|Rust Belt}} town, and gives a broader, probing look at the struggles of America’s white working class. This comic is a play on the title of this book, which has been described as explaining the “social, regional, and class” issues in white working-class America. {{w|Netflix}} had [https://deadline.com/2019/01/netflix-hillbilly-elegy-ron-howard-movie-deal-40m-1202541118/ purchased the rights] to an upcoming film adaptation of the book three days before this comic, prompting another wave of criticism of the book’s theories.

Cueball is proposing a similarly-titled book, set in the ''Back to the Future II'' 1985A timeline, that would describe the supposed factors leading to the rise of Biff Tannen in Hill Valley. In that universe, while the rise of Biff—and the subsequent decay of the city—is the result of his using a future sports almanac to cheat at sports betting, the rest of the population would have to guess at the structural societal issues that might have caused Biff’s otherwise inexplicable success. Thus, Cueball compares such blind guessing with the analysis contained in ''Hillbilly Elegy''.

;White Hat’s reaction
This makes [[White Hat]] angry. This may be for various reasons:

*Because it’s such a painfully long setup for a really stupid pun.
*There is a decent chance that the book White Hat is currently reading is ''Hillbilly Elegy''. If he is enjoying it, this would make the joke more insulting to him, as it compares the book to useless theorizing about an event which was really caused by {{w|Time travel|time traveling}}.
*After seeing the similarity alluded to by Cueball between our current reality and a reality where the book ''Hill Valley Elegy'' is written, he might imagine that we may be living in a world where Trump’s election was {{w|Determinism|predetermined}}, just as Biff’s rise to power was predetermined by time travel. If he opposes Donald Trump politically, it would probably frustrate him to imagine that being optimistic for the future would be in vain, as any social change he might hope for may be simply predetermined not to happen, perhaps by time travelers.

;Relationship to political events
[[Randall]] is known to have [[1756: I'm With Her|supported Hillary Clinton]], the main opponent of Donald Trump, in the 2016 U.S. presidential election, having made a comic just to promote her. This may add to explaining the comic in the following ways:

*Randall may have made this comic as an insult to a book which supposedly explains the election of the candidate he opposed, by comparing it to useless (and wrong) theorizing.
*The comic may be intended as an insult to Trump himself, by comparing the {{w|Dystopia|dystopian}} 1985A universe, where Biff rose to power (albeit not as President) to the actual universe, where Trump was elected to the presidency.
*The comic may be an allusion to {{w|Russian interference in the 2016 United States elections|alleged Russian tampering}} of the 2016 U.S. elections: Randall may be proposing that it is futile to attribute Donald Trump’s rise to power to any set of structural societal issues, that may have acted indirectly, while ignoring the hidden, speculated, but far more direct cause of foul play, just as it would be futile to analyze Biff Tannen’s rise to power by similar means, ignoring the impact of foul play via time travel and a sports almanac.

The title text continues the comparison to the election situation by mentioning thinkpieces from newspapers that would appear in the ''Back to the Future II'' 1985A universe where Biff has taken over. Various thinkpieces did appear in real life newspapers in an attempt to explain Trump’s rise to power after his election, and asking whether it was inevitable.

As ''{{w|Back to the Future II}}''’s important [https://backtothefuture.fandom.com/wiki/October_21 October 2015] setting date approached, commentators began noting the similarities between the older version of the character Biff Tannen and then presidential candidate Donald Trump. When the comparison was brought to the attention of the film’s writer, {{w|Bob Gale}}, in an interview, he [https://www.thedailybeast.com/back-to-the-future-writer-biff-tannen-is-based-on-donald-trump# claimed] that elements of Tannen’s personality were actually based on Trump, who was already well known in the late 1980s for his work in real estate and tabloid controversies. Thus, there is a real connection between Biff Tannen and Donald Trump. This supports the comparison between the two made by Randall. That being said, actor {{w|Thomas F. Wilson|Tom Wilson}} has [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4lYCaFx3Og denied] that his performance of the role was in any way based on Trump.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball talks while walking up behind White Hat, who is reading in an armchair.]
:Cueball: You know, in the universe where Biff Tannen took Marty McFly’s sports almanac back in time, the people wouldn’t have any counterfactuals to work with.
:Cueball: Their world would be ''the'' world.

:[In a frame-less panel White Hat turns his head to look at Cueball as he keeps talking.]
:Cueball: They would have spent decades debating which structural problems enabled the rise of BiffCo, the decline of the city, and general social decay.
:Cueball: Everyone would find reasons it confirmed their pet theory.

:[White Hat turns his head back to his book.]
:Cueball: I'm going to write a book set in that universe. I'll call it ''Hill Valley Elegy''.
:White Hat: ... I ''hate'' you.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Back to the Future]]

2650: Deepfakes

2022-07-26T18:47:31Z

Marco262: Removed tangent

{{comic
| number = 2650
| date = July 25, 2022
| title = Deepfakes
| image = deepfakes.png
| titletext = If so great a deductive mind as Arthur Conan Doyle can be fooled by the Cottingley Deepfakes, what chance do we mortals have? Soon our very reality will be dictated by the whims of Frances (9) and Elsie (16).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DEEPFAKE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A {{w|deepfake}} is an altered video, designed to deceive by replacing a person in a video. [[White Hat]] believes that this technology will make it difficult to trust videos. However, [[Cueball]] responds by saying that "fakes" have always existed, in photos (either through {{w|photoshopping|alterations by software such as Adobe Photoshop}}, or deliberately staging fakes images, e.g. {{w|Loch Ness Monster#%22Surgeon's photograph%22 (1934)|of the Loch Ness Monster}}) and even more so by people simply lying. White Hat comes around to Cueball's position and says that even the written word is prone to deception and lying.

Scientific studies of deepfakes have produced surprising results, suggesting that they are more likely to increase uncertainty than persuade,[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2056305120903408] that their increased prevalence could inoculate the public against {{w|disinformation}},[https://dspace.cuni.cz/handle/20.500.11956/150489] and that they are more likely to be shared because of their humorousness than persuasiveness.[http://essay.utwente.nl/91654/] Other studies have found that deepfakes are persuasive, especially among those who are unfamiliar with them.[https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/cyber.2020.0174][https://www.osti.gov/biblio/1780812]

The {{w|complaint tablet to Ea-nasir}} is a 3,800 year-old clay tablet containing the oldest known written complaint, in which a customer complains to a merchant, Ea-nasir, about his copper ingots. Cueball's last statement says that perhaps this complaint could have been a lie to begin with, and there was nothing wrong with Ea-nasir's wares. This supposition is arguably the humor of the comic, apart from the hyperbole of the title text.

The title text references the {{w|Cottingley Fairies}}, a series of five photographs produced in 1917 by two children, Elsie Wright and Frances Griffiths, who were 16 and 9, respectively. The photographs appear to show the children playing with fairies in their garden. The photographs received widespread attention when Sir {{w|Arthur Conan Doyle}}, the author of the ''Sherlock Holmes'' stories, used the photos as proof of paranormal phenomena in a 1920 magazine article. Conan Doyle was notable for being a strong proponent of reaching conclusions based on evidence and reason, and also held a deep belief in paranormal and supernatural phenomena. In 1983, Elsie and Frances finally confessed that the photos had been faked, by the simple process of posing cardboard figures cut out of a children's book. Due to technical advances, young children now can more easily create convincingly realistic fakes.

A similar dilemma was discussed in [[1958: Self-Driving Issues]], where technology does not create a new way to lie, but may make such lies more convincing to certain parties (in the other strip, self-driving cars).

==Transcript==
:[White Hat and Cueball are walking to the right.]
:White Hat: Thanks to deepfakes, soon we won't know what's real anymore. Video will become meaningless.

:[White Hat and Cueball walk on, Cueball lifts one hand with the palm up.]
:Cueball: I dunno.
:Cueball: We've had Photoshop for decades and staged photos for centuries.
:Cueball: It hasn't made photos meaningless.

:[Zoom in on Cueball, who is turned left towards off-panel White Hat.]
:Cueball: The bottleneck for fake stuff isn't technical. The bottleneck is willingness to lie.
:Cueball: "People lying" is a very old problem.
:Cueball: It's a known exploit.

:[Zoom back out on White Hat and Cueball who have stopped. White Hat has a hand on his chin. Cueball holds his hands out to the sides.]
:White Hat: I guess technically we've been able to make '''''text''''' deepfakes for 5,000 years.
:Cueball: Maybe Ea-nasir's copper ingots were actually fine!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Photography]]

2315: Eventual Consistency

2021-01-07T00:00:37Z

Marco262:

{{comic
| number = 2315
| date = June 3, 2020
| title = Eventual Consistency
| image = eventual_consistency.png
| titletext = Later I'm going to get a head start on the heat bath.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]]'s employer wants him to continue his work, possibly as a home-based remote worker as encouraged by the common current advice during the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 COVID-19 pandemic}}.

The stated task is to "test the database" and "guarantee eventual consistency". Trying to avoid work, Cueball points out that the {{w|second law of thermodynamics}} itself "guarantees eventual consistency", as the {{w|universe}} is ''guaranteed'' to ''eventually'' die a {{w|Heat death of the universe|heat death}}, at maximum {{w|entropy}} and perfect ''consistency''. His boss responds that in a system that has reached maximum entropy, no {{w|work}} can be performed (as this requires a difference in energy states between two sources). Cueball claims that he's simply getting a head start on this.

''Eventual consistency'' has a double meaning here. In computing, many systems are ''{{w|distributed computing|distributed}}'' (spread out) across multiple servers, sometimes in very different parts of the world. When data changes -- like the number of views on a video or the likes on a social media post -- updating it across ''every'' server can be a challenge, and it's often not necessary to keep the data perfectly in sync everywhere. So the system will use {{w|eventual consistency}} instead. Each individual server will record changes, and after a certain amount of time or a certain amount of change, the results will be synced across the whole network. At any given moment, an individual server's data will be a little off -- but ''eventually'' everything will get recorded correctly.

The title text constitutes another play on the words "heat bath", which can refer to the thermally uniform state of the universe at {{w|heat death}}. However, in this context, we can assume Cueball instead plans to prepare a literal warm bath for his own relaxation and enjoyment after or during (or instead of) his work.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits at a home desk.]
:Laptop: I know it's hard to focus right now, but we should try to finish testing the DB.
:Cueball: ''Ughhhh.''
:Cueball: Okay.

:[A frameless panel. Cueball still sitting at his desk. He has his hand on his chin.]
:Laptop: The system needs to guarantee eventual consistency.
:Cueball: I mean, it does.

:[Closeup of Cueball.]
:Cueball: Eventual consistency is guaranteed by the 2nd law of thermodynamics.
:Cueball: Sooner or later this will all be a uniform heat bath.
:Cueball: Maximum entropy.

:[Back to Cueball and desk. Cueball is leaning back in his chair.]
:Laptop: Maximum entropy means no useful work can be done!
:Cueball: I'm getting a head start by doing no useful work ''now''.

==Trivia==
* Randall has previously invoked the second law of thermodynamics (indirectly) to provide a "big picture" solution to the {{w|halting problem}} in [[1266: Halting Problem]], concluding that (in the real world, rather than the case of the ideal infinite {{w|Turing machine}}) all programs do halt...eventually.
* In [[2282: Coronavirus Worries]], Randall asserted that worrying about "whether you're getting enough work done" is common but not very healthy. Evidently Cueball has taken his advice to heart, but Cueball's boss has not.
* A new [[xkcd_Header_text#2020-06-03_-_Black_Lives_Matter|header text (Black Lives Matter)]] appeared earlier on the day that this comic debuted.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Physics]]

2372: Dialect Quiz

2020-12-23T21:32:26Z

Marco262: Removed unbased speculation

{{comic
| number = 2372
| date = October 14, 2020
| title = Dialect Quiz
| image = dialect_quiz.png
| titletext = Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?
}}

==Explanation==

This comic is a parody of online quizzes that offer to compare the user's dialect of American English with others around the country. These quizzes generally contain questions about word usage, names for certain objects, and pronunciations that vary between different regions of the US. There are also quizzes about broader English dialects, but this comic focuses on commonly cited differences between American dialects.

The earliest quiz of this type to be widely disseminated online was the [http://dialect.redlog.net/ Harvard Dialect Survey], conducted in the early 2000s by Bert Vaux and Scott Golder. The survey created maps of the distribution of various word usage (such as pop/soda/coke for a fizzy softdrink) and was a relatively early example of widely shared Internet "viral" content. In 2013, Josh Katz of the New York Times created [https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/upshot/dialect-quiz-map.html a new version] based on the Harvard survey, which became the Times' [https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/01/-em-the-new-york-times-em-most-popular-story-of-2013-was-not-an-article/283167/ most popular content of 2013] and spread the idea to many more people. Many of the questions in this comic directly derive from entries in those surveys.

Randall's previous two comics have been about election predictions, leading up to the 2020 US General Presidential Election. A prominent predictor of the election results is Nate Silver, who runs the FiveThirtyEight website. [https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/status/1315348221565206530 @NateSilver538 posted his results] of taking the New York Times version of the survey on October 11, 2020... just three days before this comic was posted. [[2371: Election Screen Time]] specifically suggests that Randall may be spending too much time obsessing over new posts and content from the election predictors. It's coincidental, but likely, that Nate Silver's tweet inspired Randall's post: he was reminded of the 2013 feature from the Times.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Question !! Answers !! Explanation
|-
! 1
|How do you address a group of two or more people?
|style="width: 15%;"|
* A) You
* B) Y'all
* C) I have not been around two or more people for so long that I can't remember
| Reference to the first question of the Times quiz: "How would you address {{w|You#Informal_plural_forms|a group of two or more people}}?" (with options including "you all", "you guys", "y'all", etc.). Option C may reference the significant decrease in human interaction and social contact during the COVID-19 pandemic. Alternatively, it may suggest that some xkcd readers are particularly introverted.
|-
! 2
| How do you pronounce "Penelope"?
|
* A) Rhymes with "Antelope"
* B) Rhymes with "Develop"
| Both the options for this are wrong, making it the first of many quiz questions to be impossible to answer correctly.

Neither Option A's "PEN-e-lohp" /ˈpɛnɪˌloʊp/ and Option B's "pe-NELL-up" /pɪˈnɛləp/ are a typical pronunciation of this name (beyond mispronunciations). In English, the only correct way to pronounce this name is "pe-NELL-o-pee" /pəˈnɛləpi/, which is not listed. (A) is the answer Juan from Club Dread (2004) would have given. Whether this is a coincidence or deliberate is unknown.
|-
! 3
| What do you call the scientific field that studies the stars?
|
* A) Astrology
* B) Agronomy
* C) Cosmetology
| The actual answer is {{w|astronomy}}, which is not listed, though several answers ''are'' listed that sound similar to fields that study stars. {{w|Astrology}} is the pseudo-scientific "study" of the influence of the stars and planets on our lives, including horoscopes, {{w|agronomy}} ''is'' scientific but instead studies agriculture, and {{w|cosmetology}} is the study of cosmetics and makeup (with a name close to {{w|cosmology}}, a branch of astronomy). The last may also be referring to the occasionally makeup-heavy faces of movie and television "stars".
|-
! 4
| How do you pronounce "genre"?
|
* A) Gone-ra
* B) Juh-neer
* C) Jen-er-uh
| Reference to a question found on some quizzes: "How do you pronounce ''genre''? ZHAHN-ruh, or JAHN-ruh?"

A majority of (American) English speakers pronounce "genre" as either "'''ZH'''AHN-ruh" /ˈʒɑnrə/ (beginning with the "zh" sound found in "trea'''s'''ure") or "'''J'''AHN-ruh" /ˈdʒɑnrə/ (beginning with the "j" sound in "justice"). Neither of these are listed, and none of the quiz's pronunciation options are common. However, they are close to other words: ''GONE-ra'' /ˈgɑnrə/ sounds like {{w|gonorrhea}} /ˌgɑnəˈriə/, ''juh-NEER'' /dʒəˈnɪər/ is the way the second and third syllables of ''engineer'' are are pronounced, and ''JEN-er-uh'' /ˈdʒɛnərə/ is a word (genera), the plural of {{w|genus}}.
|-
! 5
| You pronounce "Google" with a high-pitched yelp on the...
|
* A) First syllable
* B) Second syllable
| "Google" is not generally pronounced with a high-pitched yelp on either syllable. On the other hand, {{w|Yahoo!}}, a competitor of Google, has advertised its services with a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm5FE0x9eY0 high-pitched yodeling jingle], with the high-pitched yelp on the second syllable (as opposed to {{w|Goofy}}'s [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-70mtXw35c iconic holler], with the high yelp on the first syllable).
|-
! 6
| What do you call the thing on the wall at school that you drink water from?
|
* A) Gutter pipe
* B) Drainpipe
| Reference to a quiz question in the Harvard and Times quizzes, "What do you call the thing from which you might drink water in a school?" Answers included "drinking fountain", "water fountain", and "bubbler". However, the question in this comic implies that school children (or at least the quiz maker) drink out of {{w|Rain gutter|gutter pipes}} or drain pipes, which are used to collect rainwater and/or {{w|sewage|should absolutely not be drunk from.}}
|-
! 7
| How do you pronounce the name for a short silent video file?
|
* A) Animated give
* B) Animated gift
| Reference to the "{{w|Gif}}" pronunciation debate, with people split between pronouncing it "gif" (with the hard-G sound in "graphics") or "jif" (with the soft-G sound in "giraffe"). Both options presented in this quiz use the hard-G sound, but neither option uses the standard pronunciation for the ending of the word, “if”.

The original authors of the standard clarified they intended it to be said as if "jif". Maybe it is entirely appropriate that their product, which lacks any audio stream, was made known to most of its end-users without a sound-guide and left everyone to spontaneously derive their own way of voicing its name.

Also a reference to [https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/gift-as-a-verb how some people dislike the use of the word "gift" as a verb, and think that "give" should be used instead].
|-
! 8
| What do you call the baseball-sized garden bugs that, when poked, glow brightly and emit a warbling scream?
|
* A) What?
* B) Lawn buddies
| There are many different varieties of common insects with distinctive traits and behaviors, some of which even have multiple names; the creatures described "lawn buddies" combine three of these traits into one peculiar and somewhat frightening bug. The fact that no known creature like this exists forms the humor of the two answers: the first is reasonably confused, and the second is alarmingly familiar.

1. The Harvard and Times quizzes actually include the question: "What do you call the {{w|Armadillidiidae|small gray bug}} that curls up into a ball when it’s touched?" (options include "roly-poly," "pill-bug", "potato bug", "doodle bug", etc.).

It is also worth mentioning that "potato bug" itself can refer to three completely different kinds of insect; besides the aforementioned "{{w|Armadillidiidae|small gray bug}}," it can also refer to the {{w|Colorado potato beetle}} or to the {{w|Jerusalem cricket}}. A dialect quiz such as this one might ask the quiz-taker to identify what kind of insect they associate the term with.

2. The {{w|Firefly|Lampyridae}} family of insects do glow (although not exactly "brightly"). These insects emit their light spontaneously, as a mating signal, though they often do emit light when shaken or presumably poked. These are variously called "fireflies," "glowworms," or "lightning bugs;" a dialect quiz might reasonably ask the quiz-taker's preferred term.

3. {{w|cicada|Cicadas}} and {{w|Madagascar_hissing_cockroach|cockroaches}} can be large for insects, though nothing approaching the size of a baseball, and can make very loud noises indeed, although it would be a bit of a stretch to describe any of their associated sounds as a "warbling scream."
|-
! 9
| What do you call the misleading lines painted by disgruntled highway workers to trick cars into driving off the road?
|
* A) Prank lines
* B) Devil's Marks
* C) Fool-me lines
* D) Fauxguides
* E) Delaware lines
| Reference to the fact that some quiz questions ask about road features, such as "verge/berm/parking strip/curb strip" and "roundabout/traffic circle/rotary". However, these particular road lines, if they have ever been made, aren't common enough to warrant different names. The Delaware Line was a formation within the Continental Army. Devil's Marks may be a takeoff of [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Devil%27s%20Strip Devil's Strip].

Misleading lines on the road were also mentioned in [[1958: Self-Driving Issues]].
|-
! 10
| What do you call the blue-green planet in the outer Solar System?
|
* A) Uranus
* B) Neptune
| This question references the fact that Uranus and Neptune are quite similar in appearance, as well as the two common pronunciations of Uranus: "YURR-ə-nəss" and "yoo-RAY-nəss" (which sounds like the phrase "{{tvtropes|UranusIsShowing|your anus}}", a favorite joke of little kids). The original pronunciation is "oo-ra-noos", both u's pronounced the same way, but this is not a common pronunciation among the general public. It also references the fact that Uranus and Neptune are both blue-ish colored planets in the outer solar system and are often confused by people who don't know much about them. Uranus is closer to being the correct answer - it could plausibly be described as cyan, a color intermediate between blue and green - while Neptune is a deep, unambiguous blue.
|-
! 11
| What do you call this tool?
[[File:CloveHammer.png|150px]] (image of a claw hammer)
|
* A) Banger
* B) Nail axe
* C) Wood mage wand
* D) I'm familiar with this tool but have no specific word for it
* E) I have never seen it before
| The only name most people would ever call this tool is a "hammer".

The last two options reference options in many quiz questions along the lines of "I'm familiar with this but have no specific word for it" and "I am not familiar with this" (such as on the pill-bug/roly-poly question on the real quiz). These may appear as options to questions that ask about something that might not exist everywhere, or something which many may not have a word for (for example, some areas of the United States have a name for "sunshowers," while most don't). However, it's a bit absurd for these options to be present for this question (and this question alone), as virtually all users in an English dialect test would be expected to know what a hammer is. This also serves as a bit of reverse perspective on the saying, "{{w|Law of the instrument|When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.}}"
|-
! 12
| What do you call a long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff?
|
* A) A long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff
* B) A longwich
* C) A salad hot dog
| Reference to a common dialect quiz question: "What do you call a {{w|Submarine sandwich|long sandwich}}?" with options typically including "sub", "hoagie", "hero", etc.

The first answer directly repeats the phrasing of the prompt, painting the person who would answer that way as either very literal-minded or bearing a snarky side. The hot dog answer could refer to the common online discussion: "Is a hot dog a sandwich?, and bears resemblance to jokes playing on synonyms to discredit their need for unique names, i.e. "Beef jerky is just a meat raisin." In this case, the argument would be "A sub sandwich is just a salad hot dog."
|-
! 13
| What do you call the scaly many-legged animal often found in attics?
|
* A) Lightbulb eater
* B) I have no special name for them
* C) I've never looked in my attic
| Another reference to the frequent appearance of quiz questions asking what users call various creepy crawlies.

{{w|Millipedes}} best fit the description. They have many legs, though rarely if ever a thousand of them, as their name (from the Latin word for "thousand feet") suggests. The hard rings that separate an individual's body into segments give the animal a scaly appearance. And of the thousands of species, only a few have common names, hence "no special name for them". The reference to "lightbulb eater" is obscure, but may refer to the tendency of millipedes to congregate in large numbers in dark crevices, or perhaps Randall is simply conjuring more frightening creatures. Perhaps Randall found some in empty (no bulb) light fixtures in his attic, though it is possible this refers to another unknown frightening creature that nobody has a word for.

Normally, questions about uncommon things would include an "I've never seen one" option, like option E in the hammer question. Instead, this question has "I've never looked in my attic" as an option, implying that these creatures are present in all attics, and anyone who doesn't know them would have to have never checked their attic at all, or that they are too afraid of this creature possibly dwelling in their own attic to go look.
|-
! 14
| What do you say when someone around you sneezes?
|
* A) "What was that?"
* B) "Oh, wow."
* C) [Quietly] "Yikes."
| Reference to a question on some quizzes about which of several words/phrases you say in response to a sneeze, with usual answers including "bless you", "God bless you", and "{{w|Gesundheit}}" (from the German word for 'health').

This question may also be referencing the {{w|COVID-19 pandemic}} in answer C (and possibly answer B). Sneezing isn't a primary symptom of COVID-19, but most people are hyper-aware of possibly contracting the disease from the people around them so sneezes are treated with suspicion and it's seen as rude to sneeze openly.

It is also possible that a person who has been able to catch a sneeze-producing condition has also caught COVID-19 and, while the sneeze itself isn't ''caused'' by it, the air and various airway fluids so forcefully projected are a possible infective vector with that little extra frisson of concern, given the current situation.
|-
! Title Text
| colspan=2 | Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?
| Phrased similarly to questions like one on the Times quiz, "How do you pronounce the words Mary, merry, and marry?" Options included "all three are pronounced the same", "all three are pronounced differently," or all three combinations of two being the same and one different. Also refers to the naming confusion around {{w|scallions}} and {{w|shallots}} - also known as 'eschalots' - but with the unrelated but similar-sounding {{w|scallops}} substituted in the middle.

'Shallots', 'scallions' and 'eschalots' are names used in different dialects, for various species and cultivars of onion used in cooking, either as a small bulb (especially [[wikipedia:shallot|Allium cepa var. Aggregatum]]) or as a long green leaf (especially [[wikipedia:Allium_fistulosum|Allium fistulosum]]). In many dialects, the green leaf type is called a 'scallion' and the bulb a 'shallot'. In at least one dialect (NSW Australia) the green leaf type is called a 'shallot' and the bulb an 'eschalot'. This causes confusion in recipes posted online. The word 'shallot' is also pronounced with emphasis on either the first or second syllable, as referred to in question 5. Despite the answer options offered, there is no evidence of dialects which use all three terms, or where 'shallot' and 'scallion' are interchangeable. Many people in the US call scallions "green onions", as was joked about in [https://genius.com/Stan-freberg-christmas-dragnet-lyrics Stan Frieberg's Christmas Dragnet parody].

{{w|Scallops}} are invertebrate marine animals similar to oysters and clams, frequently harvested for food. In some regions of the UK and Australia potato {{w|fritters}} are also called 'scallops'. The word 'scallop' itself can be pronounced either as /ˈskɒləp/ or /ˈskæləp/, and its spelling has varied over time in a similar way to that of 'shallot'. However, these are difficult to confuse with shallots or scallions.
|}

==Transcript==

[Box with title at the top]
:<big>Dialect Quiz</big>
[Smaller subtitle underneath]
:Compare answers with your friends!

[Quiz is divided into two columns. Answers to questions are indicated by a letter followed by a closed parentheses, such as A). These letters are greyed out]

[Column 1:]
 
How do you address a group of two or more people?
:A) You
:B) Y'all
:C) I have not been around two or more people for so long that I can't remember

How do you pronounce "Penelope"?
:A) Rhymes with "Antelope"
:B) Rhymes with "Develop"

What do you call the scientific field that studies the stars?
:A) Astrology
:B) Agronomy
:C) Cosmetology

How do you pronounce "genre"?
:A) Gone-ra
:B) Juh-neer
:C) Jen-er-uh

You pronounce "Google" with a high-pitched yelp on the...
:A) First syllable
:B) Second syllable

What do you call the thing on the wall at school that you drink water from?
:A) Gutter pipe
:B) Drainpipe

How do you pronounce the name for a short silent video file?
:A) Animated give
:B) Animated gift

What do you call the baseball-sized garden bugs that, when poked, glow brightly and emit a warbling scream?
:A) What?
:B) Lawn buddies

[Column 2:]
 
What do you call the misleading lines painted by disgruntled highway workers to trick cars into driving off the road?
:A) Prank lines
:B) Devil's Marks
:C) Fool-me lines
:D) Fauxguides
:E) Delaware lines

What do you call the blue-green planet in the outer Solar System?
:A) Uranus
:B) Neptune

What do you call this tool?
 
[Image of a claw hammer]
:A) Banger
:B) Nail axe
:C) Wood mage wand
:D) I'm familiar with this tool but have no specific word for it
:E) I have never seen it before

What do you call a long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff?
:A) A long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff
:B) A longwich
:C) A salad hot dog

What do you call the scaly many-legged animal often found in attics?
:A) Lightbulb eater
:B) I have no special name for them
:C) I've never looked in my attic

What do you say when someone around you sneezes?
:A) "What was that?"
:B) "Oh, wow."
:C) [Quietly] "Yikes."

==Trivia==

*The xkcd Twitter account posted a [https://twitter.com/xkcd/status/1316484953480323072 series of Twitter polls] asking the questions in this comic.
**How do you address a group of two or more people?
***You (31.2%)
***Y'all (33.5%)
***'''Can’t remember anymore (35.3%)'''
**How do you pronounce “Penelope”?
***'''Rhymes with “antelope” (58.6%)'''
***Rhymes with “develop” (41.4%)
**What do you call the scientific field that studies the stars?
***Astrology (34.5%)
***Agronomy (18.5%)
***'''Cosmetology (47%)'''
**How do you pronounce "genre"?
***Gone-ra (24.7%)
***Juh-neer (18.8%)
***'''Jen-er-uh (56.5%)'''
**Do you pronounce "Google" with a high-pitched yelp on the...
***'''First syllable (63.6%)'''
***Second syllable (36.4%)
**What do you call the thing on the wall at school that you drink water from?
***Gutter pipe (32.9%)
***'''Drainpipe (67.1%)'''
**How do you pronounce the name for a short silent video file?
***Animated give (29.6%)
***'''Animated gift (70.4%)'''
**What do you call the baseball-sized garden bugs that, when poked, glow brightly and emit a warbling scream?
***What? (48.6%)
***'''Lawn buddies (51.4%)'''
**What do you call the misleading lines painted by disgruntled highway workers to trick cars into driving off the road?
***Prank/fool-me lines (14.8%)
***Devil's marks (22%)
***Fauxguides (22.5%)
***'''Delaware lines (40.6%)'''
**What do you call the blue-green planet in the outer solar system?
***'''Uranus (51.7%)'''
***Neptune (48.3%)
**What do you call this tool? 🔨
***'''Banger (29.7%)'''
***Nail axe (22%)
***Wood mage wand (29.1%)
***Don't know/not familiar (19.2%)
**What do you call a long sandwich with meats and lettuce and stuff?
***'''That description verbatim (43.1%)'''
***A longwich (33.2%)
***A salad hot dog (23.7%)
**What do you call the scaly many-legged animal often found in attics?
***Lightbulb eater (29.5%)
***Don't have a name for it (19%)
***'''Never looked in my attic (51.5%)'''
**What do you say when someone around you sneezes?
***"What was that?" (8.6%)
***"Oh, wow." (17.1%)
***'''[quietly] "Yikes." (74.3%)'''
*Shallots, scallops, and scallions ran against each other in [[1529: Bracket]]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]

1790: Sad

2020-09-15T16:08:05Z

Marco262: Removed unnecessary modifiers

{{comic
| number = 1790
| date = January 25, 2017
| title = Sad
| image = sad.png
| titletext = With the right 90-degree rotation, any effect is a side effect.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic is about [[Cueball]] confronting [[Ponytail]] over her recent behavior and poor emotional state over the past few months. While Ponytail doesn't give any details on what's causing it, it can be inferred that she is referring to the {{w|United States presidential election, 2016|recent election of Donald Trump as President of the United States}}, which happened 2 months prior to the publication of this comic. This is a common reaction in the United States whenever a new president is elected, as the voters who did not vote for the new/upcoming President will be feeling unpleasant emotions that their chosen candidate did not win, and will want to express these emotions to the wider world. With the advent of the internet, and more recently social media, the expressions of these emotions have grown more common and often more hyperbolic, regardless of the quality of the candidate.

Ponytail has retreated to video games for solace to the point that her real life projects are suffering.
''{{w|Stardew Valley}}'' is a video game in which a player creates and manages a virtual farm. And when Cueball mentions that her projects have stagnated, she retorts that her farm in the game is doing great. A comic with the name of that game was releases only two weeks later, [[1797: Stardew Valley]], indicating that it is indeed Randall who has played this game excessively.

Cueball's statement about not being able to hide from everything is a common one to give to insecure people or to those trying to run away from their problems. Ponytail's reply is in the form of a {{w|PolitiFact.com|PolitiFact}} reply, claiming (possibly quite truly) that such assertions are ''mostly false'', one of the six options, but it is far from being the worst, thus acknowledging that you can't hide from everything, just mostly. Politifact.com was also the subject of an earlier comic, [[1712: Politifact]].

In computer programming, ''{{w|Comment (computer programming)|comments}}'' are pieces of non-functional, descriptive text that programmers include in their code. Typically, they are used as a form of documentation, to make the code easier for other developers to understand. This is why Cueball is glad that Ponytail is at least writing more comments; documentation is something that's often neglected by developers, despite its usefulness. Unfortunately, the comments that Ponytail is puitting in her code are not actually about the code at all; she is, presumably, commenting more generally on whatever is troubling her as a way of venting her issues.

Ponytail's reply to "write what you know" is a common piece of advice given to amateur fiction writers - it means that writers tend to write best when they are writing about something they personally know well, since they will have plenty of interesting and useful experience to draw from. However, since Ponytail's comments are full of obscenities, she is sarcastically suggesting that obscenity is all she currently knows.

''{{w|Subroutine|functions}}'' are reusable pieces of code which developers create to avoid repetition and make the code more organized. For example, if the code often has to calculate the distance between two points, it makes sense to place that calculation logic into a "calculateDistance" function, which can then just be called whenever it is needed. More generally, a function accepts inputs (eg. the coordinates of two points) and may ''return'' an output (eg. the distance between the two points).

Cueball notes, however, that all of the functions Ponytail has written are not actually doing anything with their inputs; they are just returning them straight back again and demanding that the calling code should deal with the problem itself. This makes the functions practically useless. Ponytail sardonically tries to justify this as a functional programming technique by saying that she is "avoiding side effects". A {{w|Side effect (computer science)|side effect}} is a situation in programming in which an isolated piece of code changes something about the global state of the program - this can be problematic, as there could be other parts of the code that were not expecting the change, and might behave differently as a result. Their different behavior is a ''side effect''. Sometimes side effects are intentional, but when they are not, they can be tricky to debug and fix.

{{w|Functional programming}} is a programming paradigm in which most or all computation is performed within the scope of self-contained functions, thus avoiding stateful behavior entirely. This removes the possibility of any side effects, since each function only knows what it is told via its inputs, and does not need to be concerned with anything happening outside of itself. Technically, Ponytail ''is'' adhering to this paradigm, but only in the sense that her functions are not doing anything ''at all'', and so cannot have side effects.

Cueball fairly makes this point by noting she is avoiding ''all'' effects, to which Ponytail [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090605/quotes?item=qt2959706 quotes] part of a famous quote from {{w|Ellen Ripley|Ripley}} in {{w|Aliens (film)|Aliens}}: ''I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the '''only way to be sure'''.'' By replying that it's the "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCbfMkh940Q only way to be sure]" she is thus indirectly saying better safe than sorry, but in reality she just doesn't care about her programming anymore because of her sad state of mind.

The title text is a pun, interpreting the phrase "side effect" literally. If you turn an object 90 degrees along the right axis you will place it on its side, so thus making it a effect of putting something on its side, or a "side effect." You can also turn 90 degrees (along another axis), facing what was previously your side.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is walking up to Ponytail who sits at her desk in an office chair typing on her computer.]
:Cueball: How are you doing?
:Ponytail: Hah.
:Cueball: You seem distant lately. For the past few months.
:Ponytail: Can't '''''imagine''''' why.

:[Cueball talks to Ponytail at her desk from off-panel.]
:Cueball (off-panel): Your projects have stagnated.
:Ponytail: But my Stardew Valley farm is doing '''''great'''''.
:Cueball (off-panel): You can't just hide from everything.
:Ponytail: '''''Fact check''''': Mostly false.

:[In a frame-less panel Cueball is seen standing behind Ponytail at her desk.]
:Cueball: I'm glad you're including more comments in your code, but it would be nice if they were comments '''''about''''' your code.
:Cueball: Or at least a bit less obscenity-filled.
:Ponytail: Look, they say to write what you know.

:[Cueball leans forward towards Ponytail at her desk (who has looked on the screen in the same position through the entire comic).]
:Cueball: All the functions you've written take everything passed to them and return it unchanged with the comment "No, '''''you''''' deal with this."
:Ponytail: It's a functional programming thing. Avoiding side effects.
:Cueball: You avoid '''''all''''' effects.
:Ponytail: Only way to be sure.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]

1790: Sad

2020-09-15T14:02:12Z

Marco262:

{{comic
| number = 1790
| date = January 25, 2017
| title = Sad
| image = sad.png
| titletext = With the right 90-degree rotation, any effect is a side effect.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic is about [[Cueball]] confronting [[Ponytail]] over her recent behavior and poor emotional state over the past few months. While Ponytail doesn't give any details on what's causing it, it can be inferred that she is referring to the {{w|United States presidential election, 2016|recent election of right-wing ideologue Donald Trump as President of the United States}}, which happened 2 months prior to the publication of this comic. This is a common reaction in the United States whenever a new president is elected, as the voters who did not vote for the new/upcoming President will be feeling unpleasant emotions that their chosen candidate did not win, and will want to express these emotions to the wider world. With the advent of the internet, and more recently social media, the expressions of these emotions have grown more common and often more hyperbolic, regardless of the quality of the candidate.

Ponytail has retreated to video games for solace to the point that her real life projects are suffering.
''{{w|Stardew Valley}}'' is a video game in which a player creates and manages a virtual farm. And when Cueball mentions that her projects have stagnated, she retorts that her farm in the game is doing great. A comic with the name of that game was releases only two weeks later, [[1797: Stardew Valley]], indicating that it is indeed Randall who has played this game excessively.

Cueball's statement about not being able to hide from everything is a common one to give to insecure people or to those trying to run away from their problems. Ponytail's reply is in the form of a {{w|PolitiFact.com|PolitiFact}} reply, claiming (possibly quite truly) that such assertions are ''mostly false'', one of the six options, but it is far from being the worst, thus acknowledging that you can't hide from everything, just mostly. Politifact.com was also the subject of an earlier comic, [[1712: Politifact]].

In computer programming, ''{{w|Comment (computer programming)|comments}}'' are pieces of non-functional, descriptive text that programmers include in their code. Typically, they are used as a form of documentation, to make the code easier for other developers to understand. This is why Cueball is glad that Ponytail is at least writing more comments; documentation is something that's often neglected by developers, despite its usefulness. Unfortunately, the comments that Ponytail is puitting in her code are not actually about the code at all; she is, presumably, commenting more generally on whatever is troubling her as a way of venting her issues.

Ponytail's reply to "write what you know" is a common piece of advice given to amateur fiction writers - it means that writers tend to write best when they are writing about something they personally know well, since they will have plenty of interesting and useful experience to draw from. However, since Ponytail's comments are full of obscenities, she is sarcastically suggesting that obscenity is all she currently knows.

''{{w|Subroutine|functions}}'' are reusable pieces of code which developers create to avoid repetition and make the code more organized. For example, if the code often has to calculate the distance between two points, it makes sense to place that calculation logic into a "calculateDistance" function, which can then just be called whenever it is needed. More generally, a function accepts inputs (eg. the coordinates of two points) and may ''return'' an output (eg. the distance between the two points).

Cueball notes, however, that all of the functions Ponytail has written are not actually doing anything with their inputs; they are just returning them straight back again and demanding that the calling code should deal with the problem itself. This makes the functions practically useless. Ponytail sardonically tries to justify this as a functional programming technique by saying that she is "avoiding side effects". A {{w|Side effect (computer science)|side effect}} is a situation in programming in which an isolated piece of code changes something about the global state of the program - this can be problematic, as there could be other parts of the code that were not expecting the change, and might behave differently as a result. Their different behavior is a ''side effect''. Sometimes side effects are intentional, but when they are not, they can be tricky to debug and fix.

{{w|Functional programming}} is a programming paradigm in which most or all computation is performed within the scope of self-contained functions, thus avoiding stateful behavior entirely. This removes the possibility of any side effects, since each function only knows what it is told via its inputs, and does not need to be concerned with anything happening outside of itself. Technically, Ponytail ''is'' adhering to this paradigm, but only in the sense that her functions are not doing anything ''at all'', and so cannot have side effects.

Cueball fairly makes this point by noting she is avoiding ''all'' effects, to which Ponytail [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090605/quotes?item=qt2959706 quotes] part of a famous quote from {{w|Ellen Ripley|Ripley}} in {{w|Aliens (film)|Aliens}}: ''I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the '''only way to be sure'''.'' By replying that it's the "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCbfMkh940Q only way to be sure]" she is thus indirectly saying better safe than sorry, but in reality she just doesn't care about her programming anymore because of her sad state of mind.

The title text is a pun, interpreting the phrase "side effect" literally. If you turn an object 90 degrees along the right axis you will place it on its side, so thus making it a effect of putting something on its side, or a "side effect." You can also turn 90 degrees (along another axis), facing what was previously your side.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is walking up to Ponytail who sits at her desk in an office chair typing on her computer.]
:Cueball: How are you doing?
:Ponytail: Hah.
:Cueball: You seem distant lately. For the past few months.
:Ponytail: Can't '''''imagine''''' why.

:[Cueball talks to Ponytail at her desk from off-panel.]
:Cueball (off-panel): Your projects have stagnated.
:Ponytail: But my Stardew Valley farm is doing '''''great'''''.
:Cueball (off-panel): You can't just hide from everything.
:Ponytail: '''''Fact check''''': Mostly false.

:[In a frame-less panel Cueball is seen standing behind Ponytail at her desk.]
:Cueball: I'm glad you're including more comments in your code, but it would be nice if they were comments '''''about''''' your code.
:Cueball: Or at least a bit less obscenity-filled.
:Ponytail: Look, they say to write what you know.

:[Cueball leans forward towards Ponytail at her desk (who has looked on the screen in the same position through the entire comic).]
:Cueball: All the functions you've written take everything passed to them and return it unchanged with the comment "No, '''''you''''' deal with this."
:Ponytail: It's a functional programming thing. Avoiding side effects.
:Cueball: You avoid '''''all''''' effects.
:Ponytail: Only way to be sure.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]

2351: Standard Model Changes

2020-08-30T13:13:48Z

Marco262: Fixed typo

{{comic
| number = 2351
| date = August 26, 2020
| title = Standard Model Changes
| image = standard_model_changes.png
| titletext = Bugs are spin 1/2 particles, unless it's particularly windy.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by VIN DIESEL. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic strip, Randall is proposing some changes to the {{w|Standard Model}} of particle physics. The currently accepted particle table has 17 slots: 12 fermions (first 3 columns of the table - six quarks [top two rows] and six leptons [bottom two rows]) and five bosons (last two columns of the table - four gauge bosons [left hand column] and one scalar boson [right hand column]).

[[File:1024px-Standard Model of Elementary Particles.svg.png|500px]]

This comic consists of a normal version of the particle table to which Randall has made substantial alternations and additions, which are drawn in red over the black and white table.

While the Standard Model's predictions are very well supported by experiments, the physics community has identified several flaws in it (e.g. it lacks any particles to convey gravity), and so lots of research is committed to searching for "{{w|Physics beyond the Standard Model}}". Some of Randall's changes are sort of intended to fill some of those gaps, but for the most part they are nonsensical (although not quite as much as the [[2301: Turtle Sandwich Standard Model|Turtle Sandwich Standard Model]]).

=== Quarks ===

Randall's proposed changes to the quarks are relatively restrained -- he proposes only that the "strange" and "charm" names should be moved to bosons, while the strange quark should be renamed the "right quark" and the charm quark should be renamed the "left quark", so that all quarks will have "ordinary" directional names.

In reality, the original quark model proposed by Murray Gell-Mann included only three quarks, with the "strange" quark so named because the particles that contained them were ''strangely'' long-lived relative to their masses. The "charm" quark was so named when it was proposed because it brought a "charming" symmetry to the weak interaction, which we now understand is because it completes the second generation of quarks, along with the strange quark. When a third generation of quarks was proposed, they were called top and bottom by analogy to the up and down quarks (which are so named because of the spin they carry), though the names 'truth' and 'beauty' were briefly in competition, and colliders working with B quarks are sometimes even now called '{{w|B-factory|Beauty Factories}}'.

Randall likely applied "left" to "strange" and "right" to "charm" simply due to the placement of the particles in the table: In the American English vernacular, the phrase "left and right" is more common than "right and left", in the same way that "top and bottom" is more common than "bottom and top", and "up and down" is more common than "down and up". So he placed "left" above "right" to match the ordering of the other quark generations.

=== Leptons ===
While Randall leaves two leptons, the electron and the muon, untouched, he has opted to discard the tau lepton entirely. Each of these three leptons has an associated neutrino; Randall has decided to discard all but the electron neutrino, as he has decided that three are too many neutrino types. He has also replaced the standard symbol for the neutrino, the Greek letter ν (nu), with a capital N, in order to avoid confusion between ν and v, the two letters appearing similar, though this might further be confused with nucleon (particle physicists commonly use N to denote "proton or neutron", and excited states of nucleons are given the symbol N, followed by the mass in parenthesis<ref>https://pdglive.lbl.gov/ParticleGroup.action?init=0&node=BXXX005</ref>) or possibly even with the symbol for Nitrogen (the atomic nucleus with 7 protons and a similar number of neutrons, encountered more in radiology/chemistry as an N, 7N, 14N, N+, N2 and other variations).

In place of one of the neutrinos, Randall has introduced a new elementary particle that supposedly explains the existence of dark matter. The nature of dark matter is one of the most famous mysteries in physics: galaxies seem to have much higher gravity than their detectable matter would account for, yet this mysterious form of matter does not seem to interact with other matter in any detectable way. Neutrinos are known for rarely interacting with other matter, due to their lack of charge, which could justify Randall's decision, but even the little interaction that neutrinos have with the weak force rules them out as candidates for dark matter. Hypothetical {{w|sterile neutrino}}s could be the source of dark matter, and also for the small but nonzero masses of the familiar neutrinos, but no such particles have yet been identified. Together with the arrow, the only one in the comic that points at the particle's ''box'' rather than the symbol, the triumphant exclamation "We found it!" probably means that the new "dark matter" entry in the table ''is'' the dark matter particle.

=== Bosons ===

Randall proposes several new names for existing particles. First, that the {{w|W and Z bosons}} should be renamed to the charm and strange bosons, respectively (taking the names from the quarks), and second, that the {{w|Higgs boson}} should be named the {{w|Vin Diesel}} boson, as he considers {{w|Peter Higgs}}'s name to be too boring to be given to a particle. The Higgs boson is known in the popular press (to the chagrin of many physicists, including Higgs) as "{{w|The God Particle (book)|The God Particle}}", which is certainly a flashy name, but which itself was changed by the editors of the book of the same name from its authors' originally-intended title: The ''Goddamn'' Particle.

Randall inserts the graviton, a purely theoretical particle, noting that its inclusion is "probably fine". While the graviton has never been observed, it is occasionally included in diagrams of the standard model to show its hypothetical place, which likely convinced Randall to do the same. Here it is shown below the Higgs boson, implying to be a scalar boson, though it is theoretically a 2nd-order tensor boson (with a spin of 2) and is usually given its own column.

Randall also proposes that a false decoy "Magic" particle should be added to the Standard Model, to trip up promoters of {{w|quantum mysticism}}. Presumably, anyone who invokes this particle to support their claims will expose themselves as a fraud, much as cartographers will print {{w|trap street}}s on their maps to catch plagiarism.

The title text references {{w|Spin (physics)|quantum spin number}}, a property of particles in physics that bears similarities to actual spinning. Although the "cool bugs" particle is put in the {{w|scalar boson}} group with spin 0, Randall states that it instead has spin 1/2, like a fermion. In fact, all known fermions have spin 1/2. It is thus not clear whether the "cool bugs" particle obeys the {{w|Pauli exclusion principle}} or not. The joke comes from Randall treating quantum spin as actual spin and introduces wind blowing the "cool bugs" particle around as if they were made of actual bugs, which they are not{{Citation needed}}.

{| class="wikitable"
! Particle !! Symbol !! Actual particle !! Actual symbol !! Explanation
|-
| Up quark || u || {{w|Up quark}} || u || No change.
|-
| Left quark || l || {{w|Charm quark}} || c || Randall is continuing the pattern of naming quarks after directions. This wouldn't work well with [[474: Turn-On]] unfortunately. The charm quark was named due to bringing a "charming symmetry" to the weak interaction, completing the second generation of quarks.
|-
| Top quark || t || {{w|Top quark}} || t || No change.
|-
| Gluon || g || {{w|Gluon}} || g || No change.
|-
| Vin Diesel boson || V || {{w|Higgs boson}} || H || {{w|Peter Higgs}} is a British theoretical physicist who predicted the existence of scalar bosons, particles with spin 0. Randall suggests that the Higgs boson needs a flashier name and proposes to rechristen it the "Vin Diesel boson", named after American actor {{w|Vin Diesel|Mark Sinclair}}, who has nothing to do with physics.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Down quark || d || {{w|Down quark}} || d || No change.
|-
| Right quark || r || {{w|Strange quark}} || s || Randall is suggesting this name to match the charm (now left) quark. Particles containing this quark were considered "strangely long-lived".
|-
| Bottom quark || b || {{w|Bottom quark}} || b || No change.
|-
| Photon || γ || {{w|Photon}} || γ || No change.
|-
| {{w|Graviton}} || G || {{w|Graviton}} (Hypothetical) || G || The graviton is a hypothetical particle which mediates the force of {{w|gravity}}. Randall is taking a very breezy point of view, stating that it would probably be fine to include it, even though its existence has not been confirmed yet. It is not recommended to act this way, though many do.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Electron || e || {{w|Electron}} || e || No change.
|-
| Muon || µ || {{w|Muon}} || µ || No change.
|-
| (none) || (none) || {{w|Tau (particle)|Tau lepton}} || τ || The tau lepton is a lepton with average lifetime much shorter than the electron or the muon. Randall apparently considers this particle redundant and states "No one needs tau leptons".
|-
| Strange boson || s || {{w|Z boson}} || Z || The Z boson is one of two particles (three, counting the W boson's different charges) that mediate the {{w|weak force}}, named for having '''z'''ero charge. Randall suggests the strange quark's name would be better suited for this particle.
|-
| Magic || M || (none) || (none) || Randall apparently considers magic to exist and be a particle, both of which are blatantly false.{{Citation needed}} He suggests this particle as a decoy to trip up {{w|quantum mysticism}} promoters, possibly because [[1528: Vodka|he has been possessed]] by [[Black Hat]] and is [[356: Nerd Sniping|trying to run them over with a truck]].
|-
| Electron neutrino || Ne || {{w|Electron neutrino}} || νe || Randall is annoyed by the similarity of the Greek lowercase nu (ν) and the lowercase V (v). Interestingly Randall leaves the "electron" part of its name in even though he has eliminated the other neutrinos.
|-
| (none) || (none) || {{w|Muon neutrino}} || νµ || Randall thinks one neutrino is enough, and to be honest, who can argue with him?
|-
| {{w|Dark matter}} || D || {{w|Tau neutrino}} || ντ || Dark matter is thought to make up most of the universe's matter. Randall claims to have found it; replacing the tau neutrino with it. This could easily be the most abundant particle in the universe.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Charm boson || c || {{w|W boson}} || W || The other mediator of the '''w'''eak force. Randall is suggesting that it would suit the charm name more than the charm quark.
|-
| Cool bugs || 🐞 || (none) || (none) || Randall has decreed that extremely small bugs are fundamental particles. Bugs in reality are several orders of magnitude larger than any of the other known particles.{{Citation needed}} They would not make a good elementary particle{{Citation needed}} for a number of extremely obvious reasons{{Citation needed}} and would make physics pretty frightening to some people.{{Citation needed}} With the exception of mosquitoes as they can be considered elementary particles. {{Citation needed}} Randall uses the insect emoji as the symbol of the cool bugs particle.
|}

==Transcript==
[A chart of the Standard Model of particle physics with red marks all over the chart.] 
Changes I would make to the Standard Model

[In reading order:] 
u up, connected to the down quark below. 
c charm, connected to the strange quark below, in faded gray with a red l left written over it. Above is a red note with an arrow pointing to the charm quark. The note reads, 
Consistent quark names (use "strange" and "charm" for bosons) 
t top, connected to the bottom quark below. 
g gluon 
H Higgs, in faded gray with a red V Vin Diesel writted over it. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to the Higgs boson, which reads, 
With all respect to Peter H, the Higgs boson needs a flashier name 

d down, connected to the up quark above. 
s strange, connected to the charm quark above, in faded gray with a red r right written over it. 
b bottom, connected to the top quark above. 
γ photon 
G graviton, in red with a red border. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to the graviton, which reads, 
Let's just include it, it's probably fine 

e electron, connected to the electron neutrino below. 
µ muon, connected in faded gray to the muon neutrino below, with red rounded corners cutting it off. 
τ tau, connected to the tau neutrino below, in faded gray with a red scribble over it. On the tau lepton is a red note which reads, 
No one needs tau leptons 
Z Z boson, with the Z symbol and the Z in the name in faded gray. The symbol has a red s written over it and the Z in the name is scribbled out in red. The word strange is written in red between the symbol and the name. 
M magic, in red with a red border. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to the magic particle, which reads, 
Decoy particle for people making nonsense claims about "quantum" philosophy stuff 

v e electron neutrino, with the e as a subscript of the v, connected to the electron above. The v is in faded gray and a red N with a circle around it is written on it. Below is a red note with an arrow pointing to the electron neutrino, which reads, 
Fix neutrino symbol so I stop mixing up ν and v 
v μ muon neutrino, with the µ as a subscript of the v, connected to the muon above, in faded gray with a red scribble over it. On the muon neutrino is a red note which reads, 
Too many neutrinos 
v τ tau neutrino, with the τ as a subscript of the v, connected to the tau lepton above, in faded gray. Written over it is a D dark matter in red with a red border. Below the tau neutrino is a red note with an arrow pointing to it, which reads, 
We found it! 
W W boson, with the W symbol and the W in the name in faded gray. The symbol has a red c written over it and the W in the name is scribbled out in red. The word charm is written in red between the symbol and the name. 
🐞 cool bugs, in red with a red border. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to cool bugs, which reads, 
Very small bugs are fundamental particles now

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2351: Standard Model Changes

2020-08-30T13:11:29Z

Marco262: Provides a possible explanation

{{comic
| number = 2351
| date = August 26, 2020
| title = Standard Model Changes
| image = standard_model_changes.png
| titletext = Bugs are spin 1/2 particles, unless it's particularly windy.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by VIN DIESEL. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic strip, Randall is proposing some changes to the {{w|Standard Model}} of particle physics. The currently accepted particle table has 17 slots: 12 fermions (first 3 columns of the table - six quarks [top two rows] and six leptons [bottom two rows]) and five bosons (last two columns of the table - four gauge bosons [left hand column] and one scalar boson [right hand column]).

[[File:1024px-Standard Model of Elementary Particles.svg.png|500px]]

This comic consists of a normal version of the particle table to which Randall has made substantial alternations and additions, which are drawn in red over the black and white table.

While the Standard Model's predictions are very well supported by experiments, the physics community has identified several flaws in it (e.g. it lacks any particles to convey gravity), and so lots of research is committed to searching for "{{w|Physics beyond the Standard Model}}". Some of Randall's changes are sort of intended to fill some of those gaps, but for the most part they are nonsensical (although not quite as much as the [[2301: Turtle Sandwich Standard Model|Turtle Sandwich Standard Model]]).

=== Quarks ===

Randall's proposed changes to the quarks are relatively restrained -- he proposes only that the "strange" and "charm" names should be moved to bosons, while the strange quark should be renamed the "right quark" and the charm quark should be renamed the "left quark", so that all quarks will have "ordinary" directional names.

In reality, the original quark model proposed by Murray Gell-Mann included only three quarks, with the "strange" quark so named because the particles that contained them were ''strangely'' long-lived relative to their masses. The "charm" quark was so named when it was proposed because it brought a "charming" symmetry to the weak interaction, which we now understand is because it completes the second generation of quarks, along with the strange quark. When a third generation of quarks was proposed, they were called top and bottom by analogy to the up and down quarks (which are so named because of the spin they carry), though the names 'truth' and 'beauty' were briefly in competition, and colliders working with B quarks are sometimes even now called '{{w|B-factory|Beauty Factories}}'.

Randall likely applied "left" to "strange" and "right" to "charm" simply due to the placement of the particles in the table: In the American English vernacular, the phrase "left and right" is more common than "right and left", in the same way that "top and bottom" is more common than "bottom and top", and "up and down" is more common than "down and bottom". So he placed "left" above "right" to match the ordering of the other quark generations.

=== Leptons ===
While Randall leaves two leptons, the electron and the muon, untouched, he has opted to discard the tau lepton entirely. Each of these three leptons has an associated neutrino; Randall has decided to discard all but the electron neutrino, as he has decided that three are too many neutrino types. He has also replaced the standard symbol for the neutrino, the Greek letter ν (nu), with a capital N, in order to avoid confusion between ν and v, the two letters appearing similar, though this might further be confused with nucleon (particle physicists commonly use N to denote "proton or neutron", and excited states of nucleons are given the symbol N, followed by the mass in parenthesis<ref>https://pdglive.lbl.gov/ParticleGroup.action?init=0&node=BXXX005</ref>) or possibly even with the symbol for Nitrogen (the atomic nucleus with 7 protons and a similar number of neutrons, encountered more in radiology/chemistry as an N, 7N, 14N, N+, N2 and other variations).

In place of one of the neutrinos, Randall has introduced a new elementary particle that supposedly explains the existence of dark matter. The nature of dark matter is one of the most famous mysteries in physics: galaxies seem to have much higher gravity than their detectable matter would account for, yet this mysterious form of matter does not seem to interact with other matter in any detectable way. Neutrinos are known for rarely interacting with other matter, due to their lack of charge, which could justify Randall's decision, but even the little interaction that neutrinos have with the weak force rules them out as candidates for dark matter. Hypothetical {{w|sterile neutrino}}s could be the source of dark matter, and also for the small but nonzero masses of the familiar neutrinos, but no such particles have yet been identified. Together with the arrow, the only one in the comic that points at the particle's ''box'' rather than the symbol, the triumphant exclamation "We found it!" probably means that the new "dark matter" entry in the table ''is'' the dark matter particle.

=== Bosons ===

Randall proposes several new names for existing particles. First, that the {{w|W and Z bosons}} should be renamed to the charm and strange bosons, respectively (taking the names from the quarks), and second, that the {{w|Higgs boson}} should be named the {{w|Vin Diesel}} boson, as he considers {{w|Peter Higgs}}'s name to be too boring to be given to a particle. The Higgs boson is known in the popular press (to the chagrin of many physicists, including Higgs) as "{{w|The God Particle (book)|The God Particle}}", which is certainly a flashy name, but which itself was changed by the editors of the book of the same name from its authors' originally-intended title: The ''Goddamn'' Particle.

Randall inserts the graviton, a purely theoretical particle, noting that its inclusion is "probably fine". While the graviton has never been observed, it is occasionally included in diagrams of the standard model to show its hypothetical place, which likely convinced Randall to do the same. Here it is shown below the Higgs boson, implying to be a scalar boson, though it is theoretically a 2nd-order tensor boson (with a spin of 2) and is usually given its own column.

Randall also proposes that a false decoy "Magic" particle should be added to the Standard Model, to trip up promoters of {{w|quantum mysticism}}. Presumably, anyone who invokes this particle to support their claims will expose themselves as a fraud, much as cartographers will print {{w|trap street}}s on their maps to catch plagiarism.

The title text references {{w|Spin (physics)|quantum spin number}}, a property of particles in physics that bears similarities to actual spinning. Although the "cool bugs" particle is put in the {{w|scalar boson}} group with spin 0, Randall states that it instead has spin 1/2, like a fermion. In fact, all known fermions have spin 1/2. It is thus not clear whether the "cool bugs" particle obeys the {{w|Pauli exclusion principle}} or not. The joke comes from Randall treating quantum spin as actual spin and introduces wind blowing the "cool bugs" particle around as if they were made of actual bugs, which they are not{{Citation needed}}.

{| class="wikitable"
! Particle !! Symbol !! Actual particle !! Actual symbol !! Explanation
|-
| Up quark || u || {{w|Up quark}} || u || No change.
|-
| Left quark || l || {{w|Charm quark}} || c || Randall is continuing the pattern of naming quarks after directions. This wouldn't work well with [[474: Turn-On]] unfortunately. The charm quark was named due to bringing a "charming symmetry" to the weak interaction, completing the second generation of quarks.
|-
| Top quark || t || {{w|Top quark}} || t || No change.
|-
| Gluon || g || {{w|Gluon}} || g || No change.
|-
| Vin Diesel boson || V || {{w|Higgs boson}} || H || {{w|Peter Higgs}} is a British theoretical physicist who predicted the existence of scalar bosons, particles with spin 0. Randall suggests that the Higgs boson needs a flashier name and proposes to rechristen it the "Vin Diesel boson", named after American actor {{w|Vin Diesel|Mark Sinclair}}, who has nothing to do with physics.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Down quark || d || {{w|Down quark}} || d || No change.
|-
| Right quark || r || {{w|Strange quark}} || s || Randall is suggesting this name to match the charm (now left) quark. Particles containing this quark were considered "strangely long-lived".
|-
| Bottom quark || b || {{w|Bottom quark}} || b || No change.
|-
| Photon || γ || {{w|Photon}} || γ || No change.
|-
| {{w|Graviton}} || G || {{w|Graviton}} (Hypothetical) || G || The graviton is a hypothetical particle which mediates the force of {{w|gravity}}. Randall is taking a very breezy point of view, stating that it would probably be fine to include it, even though its existence has not been confirmed yet. It is not recommended to act this way, though many do.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Electron || e || {{w|Electron}} || e || No change.
|-
| Muon || µ || {{w|Muon}} || µ || No change.
|-
| (none) || (none) || {{w|Tau (particle)|Tau lepton}} || τ || The tau lepton is a lepton with average lifetime much shorter than the electron or the muon. Randall apparently considers this particle redundant and states "No one needs tau leptons".
|-
| Strange boson || s || {{w|Z boson}} || Z || The Z boson is one of two particles (three, counting the W boson's different charges) that mediate the {{w|weak force}}, named for having '''z'''ero charge. Randall suggests the strange quark's name would be better suited for this particle.
|-
| Magic || M || (none) || (none) || Randall apparently considers magic to exist and be a particle, both of which are blatantly false.{{Citation needed}} He suggests this particle as a decoy to trip up {{w|quantum mysticism}} promoters, possibly because [[1528: Vodka|he has been possessed]] by [[Black Hat]] and is [[356: Nerd Sniping|trying to run them over with a truck]].
|-
| Electron neutrino || Ne || {{w|Electron neutrino}} || νe || Randall is annoyed by the similarity of the Greek lowercase nu (ν) and the lowercase V (v). Interestingly Randall leaves the "electron" part of its name in even though he has eliminated the other neutrinos.
|-
| (none) || (none) || {{w|Muon neutrino}} || νµ || Randall thinks one neutrino is enough, and to be honest, who can argue with him?
|-
| {{w|Dark matter}} || D || {{w|Tau neutrino}} || ντ || Dark matter is thought to make up most of the universe's matter. Randall claims to have found it; replacing the tau neutrino with it. This could easily be the most abundant particle in the universe.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Charm boson || c || {{w|W boson}} || W || The other mediator of the '''w'''eak force. Randall is suggesting that it would suit the charm name more than the charm quark.
|-
| Cool bugs || 🐞 || (none) || (none) || Randall has decreed that extremely small bugs are fundamental particles. Bugs in reality are several orders of magnitude larger than any of the other known particles.{{Citation needed}} They would not make a good elementary particle{{Citation needed}} for a number of extremely obvious reasons{{Citation needed}} and would make physics pretty frightening to some people.{{Citation needed}} With the exception of mosquitoes as they can be considered elementary particles. {{Citation needed}} Randall uses the insect emoji as the symbol of the cool bugs particle.
|}

==Transcript==
[A chart of the Standard Model of particle physics with red marks all over the chart.] 
Changes I would make to the Standard Model

[In reading order:] 
u up, connected to the down quark below. 
c charm, connected to the strange quark below, in faded gray with a red l left written over it. Above is a red note with an arrow pointing to the charm quark. The note reads, 
Consistent quark names (use "strange" and "charm" for bosons) 
t top, connected to the bottom quark below. 
g gluon 
H Higgs, in faded gray with a red V Vin Diesel writted over it. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to the Higgs boson, which reads, 
With all respect to Peter H, the Higgs boson needs a flashier name 

d down, connected to the up quark above. 
s strange, connected to the charm quark above, in faded gray with a red r right written over it. 
b bottom, connected to the top quark above. 
γ photon 
G graviton, in red with a red border. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to the graviton, which reads, 
Let's just include it, it's probably fine 

e electron, connected to the electron neutrino below. 
µ muon, connected in faded gray to the muon neutrino below, with red rounded corners cutting it off. 
τ tau, connected to the tau neutrino below, in faded gray with a red scribble over it. On the tau lepton is a red note which reads, 
No one needs tau leptons 
Z Z boson, with the Z symbol and the Z in the name in faded gray. The symbol has a red s written over it and the Z in the name is scribbled out in red. The word strange is written in red between the symbol and the name. 
M magic, in red with a red border. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to the magic particle, which reads, 
Decoy particle for people making nonsense claims about "quantum" philosophy stuff 

v e electron neutrino, with the e as a subscript of the v, connected to the electron above. The v is in faded gray and a red N with a circle around it is written on it. Below is a red note with an arrow pointing to the electron neutrino, which reads, 
Fix neutrino symbol so I stop mixing up ν and v 
v μ muon neutrino, with the µ as a subscript of the v, connected to the muon above, in faded gray with a red scribble over it. On the muon neutrino is a red note which reads, 
Too many neutrinos 
v τ tau neutrino, with the τ as a subscript of the v, connected to the tau lepton above, in faded gray. Written over it is a D dark matter in red with a red border. Below the tau neutrino is a red note with an arrow pointing to it, which reads, 
We found it! 
W W boson, with the W symbol and the W in the name in faded gray. The symbol has a red c written over it and the W in the name is scribbled out in red. The word charm is written in red between the symbol and the name. 
🐞 cool bugs, in red with a red border. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to cool bugs, which reads, 
Very small bugs are fundamental particles now

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]