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1032: Networking

2022-05-26T17:29:15Z

Megan-beret: Undo revision 278645 by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1032
| date = March 21, 2012
| title = Networking
| image = networking.png
| titletext = Our company is agile and lean with a focus on the long tail. Ok, our company is actually a polecat I found in my backyard.
}}

==Explanation==
Networking, in business, is the act of expanding your group of contacts in order to help your career down the line. Here, in this comic, [[Beret Guy]] meets {{w|Chief Technology Officer}} (CTO, an executive-level position overseeing the development of new technologies) Connr Clark (perhaps a typo for "Connor" or perhaps a reference to common "Web 2.0" names like the businesses {{w|Flickr}}, {{w|Tumblr}}, etc.). Beret Guy is as strange as he usually is: he introduces himself as a "business professional" rather than as someone with any kind of specific job, and then goes on to mention that he photocopied a burrito, which he presumably believes is the sort of thing business professionals do. He also has a business card; usually, this would contain contact information, but his only says "This is my business card". He calls his briefcase, or suitcase, a "handlebox", and it is full of a quarter of a million dollars in cash. (The source of this money is not discussed in this comic, but in [[1493: Meeting]], Ponytail says it "keeps appearing, but we have no idea how or why.") Then Beret Guy proceeds to eat Connr's business card. Business cards are again mentioned in the title text of [[2277: Business Greetings]], also about one of Beret Guy's businesses. All of these things are not common behavior. {{Citation needed}}

"Networking" is often an over-hyped, empty affair. There are many networking meetings of every description going on every day everywhere, and most people trade cards and continue to not make money. So that's the joke – Beret Guy does the networking {{w|schtick}}, badly, and yet is somehow making huge amounts of money at it.

The comic is also likely a joke on the idea that many people are excited about becoming a "business professional" who carries a briefcase, hands out business cards, and makes tons of money, without having an adequate plan for how to make those things happen, or possibly even knowing what their actual job would be. Beret Guy never says what he does, simply introducing himself as a "business professional," and explains his piles of cash with "I am a business grown-up who makes business profits!" In this world —and in people's dreams— when you "grow up" and start a business, money magically appears. Obviously, that's not how it works.{{Citation needed}}

The "Eusocial" in "Eusocial Media Ventures" is a reference to {{w|eusociality}}, the highest level of social cooperation found in the animal kingdom. Eusocial animals (termites being a common example) cooperate together to raise their young, have different generations living in the same colony, and have specialized individuals for reproductive and non-reproductive tasks.

The title text is a pun on three common business buzzwords: agile, lean, and long-tail. An agile business is one that can change course quickly based on customer demands and the business environment. A lean business is one with minimal inventory or assets; nothing is idle or warehoused, so everything is in active use or on the move. Long-tail describes the strategy of offering a large number of unique items with relatively small quantities sold of each – usually in addition to selling fewer popular items in large quantities. Netflix is a popular example of long-tail because they have (almost) every movie imaginable, including rare titles that only a few people would be interested in.

And of course, the pun here is one animal that is agile and lean with a long ''tail'' is a {{w|polecat}}.

Furthermore, although "agile" and "lean" do mean a quick, nimble, and efficient business, they also refer to specific practices, as in {{w|agile software development}}, {{w|lean manufacturing}} and {{w|lean Six Sigma}}. Many people think these terms have devolved to overused jargon. While agile development is supposed to be a highly-structured method to get programmers to produce more working code quickly, when someone from the marketing department says "''agile''" it often means "''We don't know what we're supposed to be producing, so we'll just chuck some stuff together, and keep those bits that the customer says he likes. We'll then do it all over again until we've got something that he'll pay for.''" "''Lean''" is supposed to mean that a business keeps its costs as low as possible, employing one person to do marketing and PR, not really having a Human Resources department, etc. But, in practice, it often becomes "''Keep as little stock as possible so that we don't have a lot of money tied up in it, and don't need a big warehouse; make stuff just before it is supposed to ship so that we don't have to store it either; make frequent prayers and virgin sacrifices to whatever gods we can find to ensure that nothing slips up anywhere along the line that our lawyers can't get us out of.''"

Obviously, Beret Guy's business plan, [[1021: Business Plan]], worked. See also [[1117: My Sky]].

==Transcript==
:[A man approaches Beret Guy at a party and they extend arms to shake hands. Beret Guy is holding a metal briefcase. Ponytail is a waitress in the background, carrying a tray with a wine glass on it.]
:Connr: I'm Connr Clark, CTO at Eusocial Media Ventures.
:Beret Guy: I'm a business professional! Earlier I photocopied a burrito!

:[Connr hands Beret Guy a business card. Beret Guy takes it and hands Connr another business card. Beret Guy has put his suitcase on the floor.]
:Connr: You should check us out! Here's my card.
:Beret Guy: Here's mine!
:Beret Guy: Networking!

:[Connr takes a closer look at the card, and Beret Guy holds up his case.]
:Connr: ...this just says "This is my business card!"
:Beret Guy: Do you like it? I have more in my handlebox.

:[Beret Guy puts his case on a table and opens it to reveal it is full of cash. Connr looks on in shock.]
:Connr: Uh, that's ok, I think I'll—
:Beret Guy: Here, have ten of them!
:Connr: —holy shit that thing is full of ''cash!''

:[Connr raises his arms in excitement. Beret Guy turns to face him and chews on Connr's business card.]
:Connr: Where did you ''get'' that?
:Beret Guy: I am a business grown-up who makes business profits!
:Connr: That's like a quarter of a million dollars!
:Beret Guy: Yay! Business is fun!
:Beret Guy: Do you have more of your cards? They're ''delicious!''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Beret Guy's Business]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

1029: Drawing Stars

2022-05-26T17:28:44Z

Megan-beret: Undo vandalism 278381 by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1029
| date = March 14, 2012
| title = Drawing Stars
| image = drawing_stars.png
| titletext = Screw these 36-degree angles. I'm converting to Judaism.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] attempts to draw a {{w|five-pointed star}}; the easiest way to do this free-hand is by drawing a {{w|pentagram}}, the simplest regular star figure in geometry. Once you've seen it done, you can usually draw a pentagram in one continuous motion.

Simply put, Randall gets self-conscious and messes up.

The title text explains the fact that a five-pointed star has all angles at 36 degrees which sums to 180, like a common {{w|Triangle|triangle}}. So Randall converts to {{w|Judaism}} with its {{w|Star of David|six pointed star}} symbol, which he hopes is easier to draw because it is composed of two {{w|equilateral triangle}}s. This also suggests that he is converting from {{w|Modern paganism|neopaganism}}{{Actual citation needed}} just to have a religious star he can draw well.

==Transcript==
:HOW TO DRAW A STAR:
:[A slightly curved line is drawn, starting with a point near the top center of the panel, and going downward and to the left at approximately a 23-degree angle, with an arrow at the end.]

:[Another slightly curved line goes up and to the right, creating a 34-degree angle with the first line.]
:So far so good...

:[A third line goes up and to the left, creating a 58-degree angle with the last line. The drawing now sort of resembles a tent being blown over in the wind.]
:Steady as she goes...

:[The fourth line goes down and to the right, creating an approximately 47-degree angle with the last line, and our star is beginning to look a bit askew.]
:...uh oh.

:''Shitshitshit''

:[The fifth line comes up at a 48-degree angle, completely missing the first point by a mile, and our star has failed spectacularly.]
:''ABORT!''
:''ABORT!''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Geometry]]

1028: Communication

2022-05-26T17:25:18Z

Megan-beret: Undo vandalism by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1028
| date = March 12, 2012
| title = Communication
| image = communication.png
| titletext = Anyone who says that they're great at communicating but 'people are bad at listening' is confused about how communication works.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is divided into two parts, the first two rows of panels and then the third one.

The first part demonstrates a failed attempt at communication:

*[[White Hat]] notices a dangerous hole, and thinks he should warn people about it.
**The symbol of the triangle with the exclamation mark in it (⚠) is widely used on {{w|warning signs}} and it means "{{w|Warning_sign#General_caution|General caution}}".
*White Hat encounters [[Hairy]] and tries to warn him about the hole, while Hairy thinks White Hat is being over-dramatic and doesn’t heed his caution.
*Hairy doesn't understand the warning, he continues to think without speaking. Now he thinks of a frustrated White Hat.
*Hairy continues to only think of what he can see, and now this is the fact that White Hat is leaving. As White Hat leaves he is thinking about Hairy's lack of understanding and about his silence.
*White Hat encounters [[Megan]] and is now so annoyed about Hairy that he rather talks about his lack of communication than about the dangerous hole. Megan on the other hand tries to tell White Hat about another dangerous hole if he continues to walk along.
*White Hat and Megan pass each other. White Hat now thinks about both the silent Hairy and the talking Megan who both failed to understand him. Megan is just frustrated by the outcome of her encounter and thinks about White Hat talking.
*Megan then meets Hairy while they are both still thinking about White Hat
*They now share their common experience of seeing White Hat. Finally Hairy talks.
*They both continue towards the first hole, unaware of it, talking about White Hat. (Hairy is drawn without hair both here and in the next panel - see [[#Trivia|Trivia]] below.)
*Megan and Hairy fall into the first hole since it wasn't properly communicated to them.
*White Hat falls into the second hole since it wasn't properly communicated to him.

The holes in the sidewalk are fairly deep, about one person deep; unaware and careless people don't notice them when they come upon them, which makes them symbolic of any problem or danger one can encounter in life, and could avoid if properly warned or careful.

The second part demonstrates a much more successful attempt at communication:

*[[Beret Guy]] notices a dangerous hole, and thinks he should warn people about it.
*He even runs out of the picture to warn people (as can be interpreted by the fact that he has reached further in the next panel than White Hat).
*Beret Guy finds [[Cueball]], and tells him to come along. Cueball only sees Beret Guy stretching out his hand.
*Beret Guy takes Cueball's hand and leads him towards the hole. Cueball doesn't understand why (as shown by the question marks in his thought bubble surrounding his thought of Beret Guy), but follows Beret Guy anyway.
*Beret Guy leads Cueball to the hole and points it out for him.
*Finally both Beret Guy and Cueball leave the hole thinking about the danger of it. Beret Guy has managed to properly warn Cueball about the hole.

The title text references the requirement that "communication" is a two-sided process, and just because you think you have made your point clear this does not mean that you have "communicated" the information to them: if they failed to understand, then it may as well mean that ''you'' failed to communicate, and not necessarily that ''they'' are bad at listening. And if you always encounter this situation, then it is you who are confused about how communication works. See also [[1984: Misinterpretation]].

==Transcript==
:[White Hat looks down at a large gap in the walkway; a thought bubble with a warning symbol and an image of the gap appears above his head.]

:[White Hat walks to the right, away from the gap, and encounters Hairy, to which he speaks (in iconographic speech bubble form) while pointing toward the gap, attempting to inform him about the gap. A thought bubble appears above Hairy's head with an image of White Hat pointing.]

:[White Hat continues, waving his arms, still talking about the gap. Hairy's thought bubble continues to contain images of White Hat, now gesturing frantically.]

:[Hairy shrugs in a nonplussed manner, and White Hat leaves off the right side of the frame. Both have thought bubbles displaying the other's reaction.]

:[White Hat continues to the right and comes across Megan. He tells her about the reaction of Hairy (still all in iconographic form); she simultaneously tries to tell him about a gap and gestures off to the right of the frame.]

:[White Hat and Megan both leave the frame. Megan exits left thinking of White Hat's reactions; White Hat exits to the right while thinking about both Hairy and Megan's reactions.]

:[Megan (still thinking about White Hat) encounters Hairy (who is also still thinking about White Hat).]

:[Megan and Hairy talk about White Hat.]

:[Megan and Hairy (now without his hair) continue talking about White Hat as they exit the frame to the left.]

:[A commotion is heard from the left.]
:Explosion to the left: !!! ** !!

:[Megan and Hairy (still without his hair) have fallen into the gap in the walkway. A commotion is then also heard from the right.]
:Explosion to the right: !!! ** *

:[White Hat has fallen into another gap.]

:[Beret Guy looks down at a large gap in the walkway; a thought bubble with a warning symbol and an image of the gap appears above his head.]

:[Beret Guy runs off the frame to the right.]

:[Beret Guy meets Cueball and reaches out to him. He tells him (still in iconographic form) that Cueball should take Beret Guy's hand. Cueball has a thought bubble of Beret Guy with his arm stretched out.]

:[Beret Guy takes Cueball's hand and leads him along to the left. Cueball's thought bubble has two question marks around Beret Guy.]
:Cueball: ? ?

:[Beret Guy leads Cueball to the gap and points it out to him.]

:[Beret Guy and Cueball walk away from the gap to the right, now both thinking about the gap with a warning symbol above it.]

==Trivia==
[[Randall]] made a mistake in this comic: Hairy seems to "lose" his hair in the last two frames where he is together with Megan (#9 and #11), but it's still the same person. The Cueball that appears in the last four frames represents another person. This is clearly evidenced by Randall's [http://xkcd.com/1028/info.0.json transcript of the comic].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]