https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/api.php?action=feedcontributions&feedformat=atom&user=Mushroomsexplain xkcd - User contributions [en]2026-04-14T11:28:03ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.30.0https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Talk:3214:_Electric_Vehicles&diff=407585Talk:3214: Electric Vehicles2026-03-03T19:15:48Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
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How's the transcript, guys? --[[User:Utdtutyabthsc|Utdtutyabthsc]] ([[User talk:Utdtutyabthsc|talk]]) 03:41, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
: Heck if i know [[Special:Contributions/216.25.182.141|216.25.182.141]] 03:46, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
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idk man, most cars I've encountered sound pretty acoustic to me. EVs are quieter though since they lack combustion engines [[Special:Contributions/137.25.230.78|137.25.230.78]] 04:00, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
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Just added a real life cars-as-instruments section, and to prove I'm human I must select photos with cars. It didn't tell me if I should pick the acoustic ones though, I'm confused. [[Special:Contributions/78.244.70.135|78.244.70.135]] 08:11, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
: Didn't it give you the option to use an audio version of the captcha? [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 09:37, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
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You know, it ''is'' possible to run out of charge while you're driving. Then you have to figure out how to move your car or recharge it when there aren't any sources of electricity handy or convenient. [[User:Dogman15|Dogman15]] ([[User talk:Dogman15|talk]]) 09:39, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
: That's hardly a unique problem, though - the same is also true of gas-powered cars (or any other fuel you care to mention, for that matter). [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 10:08, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
: As and when I might transition to EV, I've been thinking of getting a handy sized PV panel (or, better, a 'roll' of PV fabric, which can be pegged out; perhaps even used as a windbreak/sunshade) stowed in a corner of the boot(/trunk), that I can take out and use to trickle-charge the vehicle when needed. Although that's more for like just making a bit of use of the sunshine if I'm stopped anywhere for long enough, to reduce my reliance upon commercial power sources. [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 14:39, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
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When i was in school one teacher was keen on distinguishing batteries from accumulators. a battery was something you use once, an accumulator could be recharged. this was in a non-english speaking country and i am not sure if this strict distinction exists in english. but it could cause such a misunderstanding.--[[Special:Contributions/2001:62A:4:408:2541:D6E7:7A86:B8DC|2001:62A:4:408:2541:D6E7:7A86:B8DC]] 10:25, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
: Until I read the whole paragraph I was thinking accumulator would be the same as a capacitor. Maybe they thought rechargeables are actually giant capacitors, but they aren't. They store energy in a (mostly) reversible chemical reaction (tons of energy, slow to charge-discharge (unless spicy pillow releases magic smoke and fire)). Capacitors hold charge physically along the surfaces of the plates (fast charge-discharge, (relatively) tiny capacity). Totally different storage method. [[Special:Contributions/130.76.187.47|130.76.187.47]] 13:34, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
:Of course, the usual (and, by now, entirely moot) confusion is between "battery" and a "cell". It should only really be a "battery" if there's more than one "cell" in series (or ''maybe'' in parallel, but I'm sure that can be argued about) within the full item that you're naming as such. And rechargable batteries/cells have been so long a thing (are "electrical accumulators", as opposed to non-electrical equivalent ones for other forms of energy storage and release, like pressure-/gravity-tanks, flywheels, etc), although lead-acid batteries (yes, they're internally cells in series!) was often identified as an "accumulator" to contrast with the (single-use) solid-state chemical cell/battery. [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 14:39, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
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I think acoustic propulsion is a thing, but it doesn't work for human-scale cars. One, the sound generator is external and two, it's usually small things. [[Special:Contributions/2603:8081:9700:E9D:0:0:0:2|2603:8081:9700:E9D:0:0:0:2]] 14:25, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
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Isn't an explosion technically sound? As gas-fueled cars are powered by exploding the gas, they really are accoustic cars.([[User sobrow|talk]]) 16:36, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
: The sound is a side-effect - not the means of propulsion. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 16:54, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
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I'm not convinced the penny farthing line is relevant - the preceding discussion, in reference to the title text, is about misapplying distinctions from one field to another inappropriate one where they aren't relevant. The 'safety' epithet was applied because the new bicycles were considered safer - whether or not that was ''correct'', it was entirely relevant to the distinction being made. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 16:54, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
:I also was doubtful, but I only corrected it regarding the "penny farthing" name misconception (they weren't really called that, at the time...). Probably can be removed, unless someone wants to say more about them being the "ordinary" bicycles of their day (hence also "old ordinary" as an epithet ...once they were sufficiently no longer 'new', of course). [[Special:Contributions/82.132.239.30|82.132.239.30]] 18:31, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
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I'm not sure, if it fit's in the explanation, but Oneway Vipes are a thing: You buy them with pretty good 18650 batteries and throw them away, if the battery is empty. {{unsigned ip|2001:9e8:9690:bf00:a8bb:ca4c:64a1:1e5c|18:13, 3 March 2026}}<br />
:What's that? Some form of Segway? (Couldn't find anything out there by that name, or even "Oneway Bikes". And do remember to sign...) [[Special:Contributions/82.132.239.30|82.132.239.30]] 18:31, 3 March 2026 (UTC)<br />
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Isn't this a parody of those people who use "what will you do when it runs out of battery" as an argument against EVs, like that doesn't also apply to regular cars? --[[User:Mushrooms|Mushrooms]] ([[User talk:Mushrooms|talk]]) 19:15, 3 March 2026 (UTC)</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=2793:_Garden_Path_Sentence&diff=3880202793: Garden Path Sentence2025-10-03T12:20:15Z<p>Mushrooms: Randall always writes in all caps- why would we capitalise the transcript now? also, most screenreaders parse all caps as a series of acronyms, making it difficult to understand</p>
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<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 2793<br />
| date = June 23, 2023<br />
| title = Garden Path Sentence<br />
| image = garden_path_sentence.png<br />
| imagesize = 435x435px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = Arboretum Owner Denied Standing in Garden Path Suit on Grounds Grounds Appealing Appealing<br />
}}<br />
==Explanation==<br />
In a {{w|garden-path sentence}}, the initial attempt to parse its beginning leads to the wrong meaning, causing confusion when the sentence is completed. A classic example of a garden path sentence is "The old man the boat." This seems like nonsense when "the old man" is parsed as a noun phrase, but when "the old" is parsed as a noun, and "man" as a verb meaning "to operate", the sentence means "The old people operate the boat."<br />
<br />
Possible grammatically correct interpretations of the sentences in this comic are:<br />
<br />
There was a court case regarding green walkways. The case was resolved with a sentence relating to an olive garden path. That sentence was vacated (cancelled) by a judge. That judge was flying an airplane. The airplane struck multiple birds. The plane overturned, but righted (turned right-side-up) and landed safely.<br />
<br />
After (bird strikes)<sup>1</sup>, (judge)<sup>2</sup>, (who ordered)<sup>3</sup> (olive garden-path sentence)<sup>4</sup> in (case of green walkways)<sup>5</sup> (vacated)<sup>3</sup>, (overturned but rights and lands safely.)<sup>2</sup><br />
<br />
# "[[wikipedia:bird strike|bird strike]]s": Airplane colliding with birds in flight, or alternatively "bird strikes" could refer to the strikes called by the Bird union that this judge was known for or involved in the ruling of.<br />
# "judge ... overturned but rights and lands safely": The judge (and presumably the plane they were in) flipped over but was able to get right-side up again and land safely<br />
# "who [[wikipedia:Court order|ordered]] [the sentence to be] [[:wikipedia:Vacated judgment|vacated]]": Identifies the judge as one who issued a ruling cancelling an earlier ruling.<br />
# "[[wikipedia:Olive|olive]] garden path [[wikipedia:Sentence (law)|sentence]]": The thing that was cancelled was a punishment related to a path in an olive garden<br />
# "[[wikipedia:Legal case|case]] of [[wikipedia:Greenway (landscape)|green walkways]]": The punishment was in a court case about shared-use walkways (likely the same paths listed above, which may have been placed in an olive garden)<br />
<br />
This interpretation is backed by the images below the headline on the depicted newspaper which show an airplane and a map with apparently a flight path with two markings in between.<br />
<br />
Another way to break it down is, "After [the] bird strikes, [the] judge... [is] overturned, but [she] rights and lands safely." And she was "[the] judge who ordered [that the] olive garden-path sentence" (the legal sentence concerning a path in an olive garden) "in" (what is known as) "[the] Case of [the] Green Walkways [be] vacated."<br />
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A third way is: "The stuff in this article happened after a bird hits a judge's plane where they ordered an "olive garden path" punishment in a court case about green footpaths and is now ON their empty plane which then overturns but then turns right and lands in a safe manner."<br />
<br />
This comic also pokes fun at newspaper headlines, which typically have minimal punctuation or articles and use only capital letters, leading to such ambiguities.<br />
<br />
For another valid parsing of the sentence, here are some explanatory notes that aid in understanding:<br />
* A criminal court case occurred involving green-colored walkways.<br />
* The sentence handed down in the case involved a specific walkway (a garden path) and a specific shade of green (olive).<br />
* A certain judge had ordered that the sentence be vacated (a legal term meaning undone or expunged).<br />
* That judge was recently piloting a plane which, due to being struck by birds, overturned. <br />
* The judge righted the plane (turned it right-side-up) and landed safely.<br />
<br />
A mostly similar, but slightly more comical interpretation (though less likely for a newspaper headline) can be:<br />
After (a) bird strikes, (the) judge ... (as above) (is) overturned, but rights and lands safely. In this case, the judge is standing, a bird strikes her and she is overturned, but she manages to right herself and land safely on the ground (not banging her head, for instance).<br />
<br />
Another way of diagramming this (where noun phrases are in parenthesis and verbal clauses in brackets) would be:<br />
[ after<br />
(bird strikes)<br />
],<br />
[ ( the judge <br />
[ who ordered<br />
( ( ( olive garden path)<br />
sentence<br />
)<br />
[ in case of<br />
(green walkways)<br />
]<br />
) be vacated<br />
]<br />
) <br />
is overturned, but<br />
[ (she) rights (herself) and<br />
[lands safely]<br />
]<br />
].<br />
<br />
Certain combinations of words in the sentence are particularly easy to parse incorrectly. For example:<br />
* "bird" the headline is in all caps so this could be an avian but could also mean a person with the name of Bird such as Larry Bird the basketball player.<br />
* "bird strikes judge" can be interpreted to mean that a bird deliberately hit the judge with an appendage or weapon. If bird is a person or other worker, the phrase might mean a labour dispute in which Bird is withdrawing services<br />
* "Olive Garden" is the name of a restaurant chain, and "ordered Olive Garden" could mean "placed an order for food from Olive Garden"<br />
* Olive Garden could be a person who was the subject of the case in question<br />
* "Garden path sentence" is a type of (written language) sentence<br />
* "Green" could be referring to "green" initiatives, environmentally-friendly practices being used or to the color green, rather than to a park area<br />
* "in case of" can mean "in the event of" (e.g. "in case of emergency, break glass")<br />
* "vacated" and "overturned" can both mean "undone" in a legal context, and "rights" can refer to legal or constitutional rights<br />
<br />
Ignoring the pictures showing a plane and flight path and only focusing on the headline, it could also be interpreted this way:<br />
* "After bird strikes judge", "overturned but rights and lands safely": an avian creature flew into the judge, and as it bounced off it was upside-down, but it managed to recover in time to go right-side-up to land nearby.<br />
* "case of green walkways", "olive garden path sentence": There was a case about green walkways, and the ruling was for an olive garden path (or it is dubbed the "Olive Garden path sentence" for the restaurant chain, because it is strongly linked to the chain - either they wanted this sentence as it benefits them or the chain is notorious for it).<br />
* "judge who ordered", "vacated": The aforementioned judge is known to people for ordering that the sentence be vacated (perhaps this was highly controversial), thus making this event significant enough to warrant a headline.<br />
<br />
If one focuses on the word "judge", many of the phrases relate to legal proceedings, making the parsing of the sentence especially difficult:<br />
* "strike": to remove or delete from a legal document and especially from the record of a trial<br />
* "order": a direction issued by a court or a judge requiring a person to do or not do something<br />
* "sentence": punishment assigned to a defendant found guilty by a court<br />
* "case": a civil or criminal proceeding at law or in equity<br />
* "vacate": to legally annul, set aside, or render void<br />
* "overturn": to disagree with a decision made earlier by a lower court<br />
* "rights": powers or privileges held by the general public as the result of a constitution, statute, regulation, judicial precedent, or other type of law<br />
<br />
Furthermore, the word "lands" can have two meanings:<br />
* The present simple variation of "to land": in the context of an airplane, to come down through the air and alight on the ground<br />
* The plural of "land", a common issue in legal proceedings<br />
<br />
The title text is also an example of a garden path sentence. The meaning is probably the following: Arboretum owner, [who was] denied [legal] standing in [the] garden-path [law]suit on grounds (the reason) [that the garden] grounds [are] appealing, [is] appealing [the ruling]. Alternatively: Arboretum owner, [who was] denied [legal] standing in [the] garden-path [law]suit on grounds (reasoning) grounds (why it was denied), [is] appealing appealing [the ruling].<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[A newspaper titled ''News'' with two pictures on the front page: one showing a judge with an airplane in the background, and the other displaying a map depicting the airplane's route. Above the pictures there is the following headline, displayed in all capital letters:]<br />
:After bird strikes judge who ordered olive garden path sentence in case of green walkways vacated overturned but rights and lands safely<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
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[[Category:Language]]<br />
[[Category:Aviation]]<br />
[[Category:Animals]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Talk:3143:_Question_Mark&diff=387041Talk:3143: Question Mark2025-09-18T13:00:32Z<p>Mushrooms: /* Use of that joke in the transcript section */</p>
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Surely it should read CharlieApostraphe’s Angels, right? [[User:KelOfTheStars!|KelOfTheStars!]] ([[User talk:KelOfTheStars!|talk]]) 02:30, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:You apostrophe re almast right period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[Special:Contributions/2607:FB91:7914:D333:3D03:FB75:B160:75F4|2607:FB91:7914:D333:3D03:FB75:B160:75F4]] 03:08, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
::You still have to put the punctuation mark after the word open parenthesis (in this case comma, the apostrophe end parenthesis) btw period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[User:TheTrainsKid|TheTrainsKid]] ([[User talk:TheTrainsKid|talk]]) 03:20, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Someone should do a grammar tag or whatever comma, like the citation needed tag comma, that links to this comic period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[User:TheTrainsKid|TheTrainsKid]] ([[User talk:TheTrainsKid|talk]]) 03:20, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
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guys (sorry first time commenting so i know that this is formatted wrong) can we not put the names of the formatting in the discription? i literally came to this page to try to figure out what the titletext was trying to say, only to find just as much (if not more) confusion on a page that was meant to remove confusion.<br />
:Seconded, as fun as it probably is, it's also incredibly difficult to follow. [[Special:Contributions/2601:681:A80:F890:E8FF:E5A3:E698:22CF|2601:681:A80:F890:E8FF:E5A3:E698:22CF]] 04:38, 18 September 2025 (UTC)Bthardamz<br />
:Mhm period. Save the flavored text for titles and the comment section period. very difficult to read ellipsis... tilde tilde tilde tilde [[Special:Contributions/2605:59C8:22F0:3310:1EB6:FF4:46E:74F5|2605:59C8:22F0:3310:1EB6:FF4:46E:74F5]] 04:49, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:Even if we decide to keep it in the explanation comma, it definitely shouldn't be in the transcript period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 05:33, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:that's entirely fair comma, I got the idea to match the explanation formatting with the comic content from [[1285: Third Way]] comma, though in that instance it's way less obtrusive period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[Special:Contributions/137.25.230.78|137.25.230.78]] 07:30, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
: thirding the above. if i'm on this site it's so i can understand the parts of the comic that confused me. the current formatting is directly hostile to that goal. [[Special:Contributions/2600:6C64:64F0:8470:85E0:2F90:F707:90A8|2600:6C64:64F0:8470:85E0:2F90:F707:90A8]] 04:42, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
: How about a compromise solution of putting the punctuation labels in small print? Something like [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Template:Small&action=edit this] should work, though it was being screwy when I tested in the preview here: <span style="font-size: 85%;">example</span> [[User:Solomon|Solomon]] ([[User talk:Solomon|talk]]) 05:46, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:P.S. On my phone, it seems to only work in Desktop Mode, so maybe it's a problem with the CSS for the mobile layout? [[User:Solomon|Solomon]] ([[User talk:Solomon|talk]]) 05:48, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
... This is a thing people do? Glad to be unfamiliar. [[Special:Contributions/52.213.77.206|52.213.77.206]] 07:27, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
This becomes an annoyingly common occurrence if you commonly use speech to text programs. It is not very fun in regular conversation [[Special:Contributions/99.2.109.131|99.2.109.131]] 12:37, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Instances in Media: In the Amazing World of Gumball episode "The Line", Gumball refers to "Stellar Odyssey Colon The Force Rehashed". [[User:Vandof|Vandof]] ([[User talk:Vandof|talk]]) 04:11, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:Not really relevant to this website (we're not cataloging these outside of xkcd), but have you seen ''Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters Colon The Soundtrack''? [[Special:Contributions/24.177.125.170|24.177.125.170]] 08:05, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
This is a thing my friend group can't stop saying, and i thought it was just us. neat! --[[User:Mushrooms|Mushrooms]] ([[User talk:Mushrooms|talk]]) 09:37, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== Use of that joke in the transcript section ==<br />
<br />
afaik transcript is more or less an accessibility feature. Doing the spelling-out-every-punctuation thing makes the transcript significantly difficult to read, and also it confuses what is a part of the original text and what is a spelled-out punctuation you added. I'm not in favor of having the joke in the transcript section. [[User:User670|User670]] ([[User talk:User670|talk]]) 09:49, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:Yeah, this is absolutely not the place for it. --[[User:Mushrooms|Mushrooms]] ([[User talk:Mushrooms|talk]]) 13:00, 18 September 2025 (UTC)</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Talk:3143:_Question_Mark&diff=387023Talk:3143: Question Mark2025-09-18T09:37:27Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
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<div><!-- Please sign your posts with ~~~~ and don't delete this text. New comments should be added at the bottom. --><br />
Surely it should read CharlieApostraphe’s Angels, right? [[User:KelOfTheStars!|KelOfTheStars!]] ([[User talk:KelOfTheStars!|talk]]) 02:30, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:You apostrophe re almast right period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[Special:Contributions/2607:FB91:7914:D333:3D03:FB75:B160:75F4|2607:FB91:7914:D333:3D03:FB75:B160:75F4]] 03:08, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
::You still have to put the punctuation mark after the word open parenthesis (in this case comma, the apostrophe end parenthesis) btw period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[User:TheTrainsKid|TheTrainsKid]] ([[User talk:TheTrainsKid|talk]]) 03:20, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Someone should do a grammar tag or whatever comma, like the citation needed tag comma, that links to this comic period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[User:TheTrainsKid|TheTrainsKid]] ([[User talk:TheTrainsKid|talk]]) 03:20, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
guys (sorry first time commenting so i know that this is formatted wrong) can we not put the names of the formatting in the discription? i literally came to this page to try to figure out what the titletext was trying to say, only to find just as much (if not more) confusion on a page that was meant to remove confusion.<br />
:Seconded, as fun as it probably is, it's also incredibly difficult to follow. [[Special:Contributions/2601:681:A80:F890:E8FF:E5A3:E698:22CF|2601:681:A80:F890:E8FF:E5A3:E698:22CF]] 04:38, 18 September 2025 (UTC)Bthardamz<br />
:Mhm period. Save the flavored text for titles and the comment section period. very difficult to read ellipsis... tilde tilde tilde tilde [[Special:Contributions/2605:59C8:22F0:3310:1EB6:FF4:46E:74F5|2605:59C8:22F0:3310:1EB6:FF4:46E:74F5]] 04:49, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:Even if we decide to keep it in the explanation comma, it definitely shouldn't be in the transcript period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 05:33, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:that's entirely fair comma, I got the idea to match the explanation formatting with the comic content from [[1285: Third Way]] comma, though in that instance it's way less obtrusive period. tilde tilde tilde tilde [[Special:Contributions/137.25.230.78|137.25.230.78]] 07:30, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
: thirding the above. if i'm on this site it's so i can understand the parts of the comic that confused me. the current formatting is directly hostile to that goal. [[Special:Contributions/2600:6C64:64F0:8470:85E0:2F90:F707:90A8|2600:6C64:64F0:8470:85E0:2F90:F707:90A8]] 04:42, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
: How about a compromise solution of putting the punctuation labels in small print? Something like [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Template:Small&action=edit this] should work, though it was being screwy when I tested in the preview here: <span style="font-size: 85%;">example</span> [[User:Solomon|Solomon]] ([[User talk:Solomon|talk]]) 05:46, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:P.S. On my phone, it seems to only work in Desktop Mode, so maybe it's a problem with the CSS for the mobile layout? [[User:Solomon|Solomon]] ([[User talk:Solomon|talk]]) 05:48, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
... This is a thing people do? Glad to be unfamiliar. [[Special:Contributions/52.213.77.206|52.213.77.206]] 07:27, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Instances in Media: In the Amazing World of Gumball episode "The Line", Gumball refers to "Stellar Odyssey Colon The Force Rehashed". [[User:Vandof|Vandof]] ([[User talk:Vandof|talk]]) 04:11, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
:Not really relevant to this website (we're not cataloging these outside of xkcd), but have you seen ''Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters Colon The Soundtrack''? [[Special:Contributions/24.177.125.170|24.177.125.170]] 08:05, 18 September 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
This is a thing my friend group can't stop saying, and i thought it was just us. neat! --[[User:Mushrooms|Mushrooms]] ([[User talk:Mushrooms|talk]]) 09:37, 18 September 2025 (UTC)</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=2832:_Urban_Planning_Opinion_Progression&diff=3841612832: Urban Planning Opinion Progression2025-08-14T10:32:05Z<p>Mushrooms: i don't know what the hell this page was talking about sometimes. this isn't some discussion between the characters it's presenting a series of opinions</p>
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<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 2832<br />
| date = September 22, 2023<br />
| title = Urban Planning Opinion Progression<br />
| image = urban_planning_opinion_progression_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 675x2033px<br />
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = If they're going to make people ride bikes and scooters in traffic, then it should at LEAST be legal to do the Snow Crash thing where you use a hook-shot-style harpoon to catch free rides from cars.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
This comic follows [[Cueball]], [[Megan]], [[Knit Cap]] and [[Ponytail]] as their beliefs evolve widely from a conventional car-first view of urban planning, then questioning the wisdom of car-centered policies, then favoring pedestrian-centered design, and finally wanting to discourage driving with tactics as extreme as road spikes. <br />
<br />
As a clever form of satire, the comic has twin aims:<br />
# Present a progressive argument leading to a logical conclusion that's humorously radical, likely mirroring Randall's own evolution<br />
# Satirize the irony of US policy discussions that elevate theory and feeling over actual best practices used in other countries.<br />
<br />
The '''first two panels''' present the conventional view, known as a strawman argument.<br />
<br />
* First, Cueball and Megan complain about the common problem many car-centric cities face about not having enough space for all the cars, and they give a conventional suggestion of making more space for cars. <br />
<br />
* Next, Knit Cap mentions how she is going to visit {{w|Amsterdam}}, a city known for its {{w|walkability}} and bike friendliness, which gives Ponytail a chance to share the conventional concern that road cycling is bothersome to drivers. <br />
<br />
In the '''third and fourth panels''', Cueball and Megan begin to evolve their thinking, wishing for better transit and more bike paths – another shortage common in car-centric cities – with Megan noticing that optimizing for drivers discourages pedestrians, which in turn spurs more driving – later calling it "a vicious cycle."<br />
* Megan's comments could relate to {{w|Induced demand}}, an economic theory in which increasing the supply of a scarce good or service causes the demand to rise faster than the increased supply, worsening the shortage. Traffic is a common example: when US cities try to widen roads and highways, they also incentivize even more vehicles and more driving, worsening the traffic problem. Conversely, other cities have tried removing traffic lanes or converting them to dedicated public transit lanes, and have reported a reduction in traffic congestion, due to people choosing other transportation options. Among urban planners, this is known as the {{w|Downs–Thomson paradox}}.<br />
<br />
In the '''fifth panel''' – taking place a week or two later – Knit Cap is back from her work trip to report that Amsterdam is really neat.<br />
<br />
In the '''sixth panel''' Cueball's questioning turns into anger at car culture, beginning his full 180 from his previous, conventional car-centric view as he adopts a strong pedestrian-centric perspective.<br />
* Cities face a dilemma of how to allocate limited street space. Car-centric cities allocate much more public land to vehicle storage and movement, leaving less space for bikes, pedestrians, dedicated transit corridors, greenspace, and density. <br />
<br />
In the '''seventh panel''', Megan takes issue with a particular type of vehicle – "those giant trucks" – and their threat to kids. All cars have blind spots in the front, and large trucks have blind spots sizable enough for the truck driver to be unable to see a standing child right in front.<br />
* "Those giant trucks" likely refers to large pickup trucks, though she might be singling out lifted pickup trucks (raised after purchase), large tractor trailer cabs, or garbage/construction-style trucks.<br />
<br />
In the '''eighth panel''', Knit Cap describes the beneficial way in which the streets in the Netherlands are planned, and considers how this could be applied to the US.<br />
<br />
In '''panels nine, ten, and eleven''', everyone's emotions peak with views that reach their zenith. Car culture is systemic! Driver-centric road planning is a vicious cycle! NETHERLANDS!<br />
<br />
By the '''final two panels''', Cueball's and Megan's evolution is complete. Desperate for any fix, Cueball concludes that city livability calls for making the driving experience worse, and then he suggests tire spikes as a solution. The final joke is that Megan actually supports the tire spikes idea, and that this extreme idea emerges from logical reasoning. <br />
<br />
* A reader who has been nodding along the whole time may reflect if they agree with Megan's final idea — and if not, why not? The whole comic is a type of logical argument in which many small steps of reasoning can lead to eventually extreme and satirical conclusions, similar to the famous {{w|A Modest Proposal}} by Jonathan Swift. It seems that Randall is sharing the evolution of his own views, while self-awarely noting that (1) if you take those views as far as they'll go, you can support some radical implications, and that (2) it's common for Americans to ignore success stories like Amsterdam's.<br />
<br />
The '''title text''' references a 1992 cyberpunk novel called "{{w|Snow Crash}}", by Neal Stephenson. In the future of the novel, the roads are still dominated by motor vehicles, but a subculture of skateboarders exists which uses electromagnetic "harpoons" to attach themselves temporarily to cars. This allows the skateboarders to travel more quickly, by stealing a small amount of momentum from the vehicles. The suggestion here seems to be that such a system (despite being dangerous and chaotic) advantages other forms of transport, at the expense of cars, and is therefore at least somewhat beneficial. <br />
<br />
===What are the pros and cons of bike lanes?===<br />
Protected bike lanes are safer compared to painted bike lanes, according to a [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2214140523001056 recent study]. It concluded that "protected bike lanes and buffered bike lanes had estimated protective effects on segments between intersections but estimated harmful effects at intersections. Conventional bike lanes had estimated harmful effects along segments and at intersections."<br />
<br />
From a wider perspective, however much you attempt to segregate different forms of transport (at junctions and other bottlenecks where space cannot be reserved), you'll always need to bring bicycles and traffic back into contact, briefly, and in circumstances where motorized traffic has become unused to sharing the roadspace with the lighter vehicles. This is unlike a more integrated place like Amsterdam where a driver is rarely going to be surprised by the presence of bicycles, overlook them and therefore cause an accident.<br />
<br />
=== What makes a city walkable? ===<br />
To achieve a walkable area, urban planning (or zoning) must be seamlessly integrated with public transport planning. The central truth is that everybody is a pedestrian for some time, which also includes car drivers. Crucially, the average pedestrian is willing to walk about 2000 ft from their home to the next public transport stop, and an additional 2000 ft between the last public transport stop and their workplace. Opportunities for shopping and eating should exist at every connecting station, with the connections scheduled in a way that it both allows changing to the connecting train/tramway/bus immediately – as well as buying groceries.<br />
<br />
For an area to be walkable, at a minimum, all roads should have a sidewalk,{{Actual citation needed}} which, of course, costs area, but make the pedestrians' lives much easier and safer. But then, not only roads impact walkability. In the United States, many places open to the public are, by municipal ordinances, forced to provide enough parking space for [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUNXFHpUhu8 all customers at any given time], which leads to serious knock-on effects: Pedestrians must often cross a large and weather-exposed parking lot in order to shop. A building can often be only re-purposed if a neighboring building is bulldozed to create the necessary parking area. And tenants who live in an apartment, but do not own a car, are forced to pay for the parking space they do not need. This creates difficulties, particularly in urban areas.<br />
<br />
Another topic is subsidizing public traffic. Municipalities in Switzerland, for example, order bus connections – e.g. a hourly bus from 6 AM until 10 PM, and in exchange, they cover the deficit of any such connection. That way, families, who usually are better taxpayers, move to villages, and beginning with grade 5, 6 or 7, pupils can still easily commute to a district school.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:'''Typical urban planning opinion progression'''<br />
<br />
:[Each panel is connected to a point on a timeline. Timeline is recognizable as the tread of a bicycle tire. Label at the top of the timeline:]<br />
:Start<br />
<br />
:[Cueball is talking to Megan.]<br />
:Cueball: I wish there wasn't so much traffic to get into the city. They should put in more lanes.<br />
:Megan: And more parking.<br />
:Megan: Parking is so bad here.<br />
<br />
:[Knit Cap is talking to Ponytail. Ponytail has her arms spread out.]<br />
:Knit Cap: I have to go to Amsterdam for work next week. I hear they all ride bikes there.<br />
:Ponytail: Bikes are fine but people shouldn't ride them in the street! I worry I'm going to hit someone!<br />
<br />
:[Close-up on Cueball.]<br />
:Cueball: It would be nice if we had better transit options!<br />
:Cueball: I tried a scooter. It was fun but I wish there were more bike paths.<br />
<br />
:[Close-up on Megan, with her hand on her chin.]<br />
:Megan: It's funny how widening roads to speed up traffic makes them more dangerous to walk near, making driving more necessary and creating more traffic.<br />
:Megan: Really makes you think.<br />
<br />
:[Close-up on Knit Cap.]<br />
:Knit Cap: Visiting the Netherlands was cool!<br />
:Knit Cap: Amsterdam is really neat.<br />
<br />
:[Cueball with his palms to his sides.]<br />
:Cueball: We've ceded so much of our land to storing and moving cars, with the rest of us tiptoeing around the edges and making drivers mad for trespassing on "their" space.<br />
:Cueball: Even though '''''we're''''' the ones in danger from '''''them!'''''<br />
<br />
:[Megan with her arms spread out.]<br />
:Megan: Those giant trucks with front blind spots that keep hitting kids should be illegal.<br />
<br />
:[Knit Cap with her finger raised.]<br />
:Knit Cap: We should be more like the Netherlands.<br />
:Knit Cap: They design their streets to prioritize...<br />
<br />
:[Cueball is frustrated and has his palms raised.]<br />
:Cueball: The problem is car culture. It's systemic.<br />
:Cueball: I don't know if we can fix it.<br />
<br />
:[Megan’s arms are thrown out, and her hair is bedraggled.]<br />
:Megan: People approach road planning decisions from the point of view of drivers because that's how we're used to interacting with the city, so we make choices that make it more car-friendly.<br />
:Megan: It's a vicious cycle.<br />
<br />
:[Knit Cap is walking around with two Dutch flags (in grayscale) raised in her hands.]<br />
:Knit Cap: '''''Netherlands! Netherlands! Netherlands! Netherlands!'''''<br />
<br />
:[Cueball, with his finger raised, talking to Megan.]<br />
:Cueball: Anything that makes a city a worse place to drive in makes it a better place to live, short of scattering random tire spikes on the road.<br />
<br />
:[Close-up on Megan.]<br />
:Megan: Honestly, I think the city council should consider the tire spikes thing.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=417:_The_Man_Who_Fell_Sideways&diff=380940417: The Man Who Fell Sideways2025-07-07T12:23:27Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 417<br />
| date = April 30, 2008<br />
| title = The Man Who Fell Sideways<br />
| image = the man who fell sideways.png<br />
| titletext = Strip originally conceived in conversation with Jeph Jacques. Soon to be a major motion picture.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
[[File:A Matter of Some Gravity.png|right]]<br />
<br />
This comic is humorously built-up like a short drama story, about a man (Cueball) with an unusual physics condition.<br />
<br />
It might have been inspired by the {{w|Uncle Scrooge}} adventure comic "{{w|A Matter of Some Gravity}}" ([http://coa.inducks.org/story.php?c=D+96001 Inducks]) by {{w|Don Rosa}}, in which {{w|Magica de Spell}} makes gravity pull sideways at {{w|Scrooge McDuck}} and {{w|Donald Duck}}.<br />
The same topic is covered by 1996 graphic novel ''{{w|L'enfant penchée}}'' (''The Leaning Child''), but, as it was only published in English in 2014, it’s very unlikely to be a source of inspiration for this comic.<br />
<br />
"Soon to be a major motion picture" in the title text might refer to ''{{w|The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (film)|The Curious Case of Benjamin Button}}'', a film released later in 2008 (and based on a short story), in which the protagonist Benjamin suffers of the impossible condition of aging backwards.<br />
<br />
"Over land... and sea" might be from the song "Nature Boy" by {{w|eden ahbez}}. Nat King Cole sung (the most famous version) about "A very strange, enchanted boy. They say he wandered very far, very far over land and sea."<br />
<br />
The title text mentions {{w|Jeph Jacques}}, who runs the webcomic ''{{w|Questionable Content}}''. Jeph has also described the creation of this comic in his [https://jephjacques.tumblr.com/post/11265563239/qa-dump-09 blog] ([https://web.archive.org/web/20240511203429/https://jephjacques.tumblr.com/post/11265563239/qa-dump-09 archived]) while working at [https://ezplaytoys.com ezplay company].<br />
<br />
When Cueball hits Megan, he knocks her down and "knocks her up", in what is probably intended to be a visual form of {{w|antanaclasis}}. Megan tells [[Hairy]] about a person knocking her over and tumbling into the distance. She hints that she is falling for him, which is a joke regarding Cueball's condition.<br />
<br />
The baby shares his tendency to be pulled sideways by gravity, but this apparently does not start until she is born, because Megan and the doctor do not seem to have been expecting it. If gravity had affected the unborn fetus in the same way, Megan would have been able to feel it, would have noticed that her uterus was hanging differently, and would have had difficulty balancing due to the sideways forces. <br />
<br />
The last panel is a reference to the opening scene of ''{{w|The Lion King}}'', called 'The Circle Of Life'.<br />
<br />
The first part of the comic has some resemblance to this much later comic: [[1376: Jump]].<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Cueball standing, with a dotted line perpendicular to him and a 30 degree angle going downwards.]<br />
:From a young age, gravity pulled him wrong.<br />
:[Cueball bouncing around his house.]<br />
:Sometimes east, sometimes west. When he was restrained, it grew erratic.<br />
:''WHAM WHAM''<br />
:[Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground.]<br />
:So he fell.<br />
:Cueball: AAAA<br />
:''THUMPA THUMPA''<br />
:[Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in a desert.]<br />
:Constantly<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAA<br />
:[Cueball bouncing/rolling off a rock on the ground in a desert.]<br />
:Over land...<br />
:Cueball: AAAAA-''THUD''-A<br />
:[Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in the desert.]<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAA<br />
:[Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in the desert.]<br />
:Cueball: A-''THUD''-AAAAAA<br />
:[Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in the desert.]<br />
:Cueball: AA-''THUD''-AAAAA<br />
:[Cueball skating the surface of the sea.]<br />
:And sea.<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAA<br />
:[Cueball skating the surface of the sea.]<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAAA<br />
:[Cueball skating the surface of the sea.]<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAA<br />
:[Cueball skating the surface of the sea.]<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAAA<br />
:[Tree in the savanna, with Cueball off the panel.]<br />
:He found, where he could, food-<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAA<br />
:[Tree in the savanna, with Cueball still off the panel, but zoomed out so that part of Cueball's bounce/roll path is visible.]<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAA<br />
:[Cueball upside-down, still bouncing/rolling in the savannah, with a gazelle galloping away from him.]<br />
:''GALLOP GALLOP''<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAA<br />
:[Savanna with a tree in it.]<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAA<br />
:[Megan standing, with Cueball off screen.]<br />
:And love.<br />
:Cueball: AAAA-''THUD''-AAAA<br />
:[Megan standing, with Cueball off screen.]<br />
:Cueball: ''THUD'' ACK ''CRASH''<br />
:[Cueball crashing into Megan]<br />
:Cueball: Hiwhat'syourname-<br />
:''WHAM''<br />
:[Megan on the ground, with Cueball off screen.]<br />
:Cueball: AAAAAAA-''THUD''-AAA<br />
:[Megan speaking to Hairy.]<br />
:Megan: I met this guy. He knocked me over and tumbled into the distance.<br />
:[Megan speaking to the same man from the previous panel, with Hairy's hand to his mouth.]<br />
:Megan: We only shared a few seconds, but in his panicked scream I heard something beautiful.<br />
:[Megan speaking to the same man from the previous panel.]<br />
:Megan: I think... I think I'm...<br />
:[Megan speaking to the same man from the previous panel.]<br />
:Hairy: Falling for him?<br />
:Megan: I wasn't going to say it.<br />
:[Megan at hospital with doctor, giving birth.]<br />
:She never saw him again. But nine months later...<br />
:Doctor: Okay, push!<br />
:[Megan at hospital with doctor and new baby, who is bouncing/rolling away.]<br />
:Doctor: It's a gir—<br />
:Megan: !!<br />
:Doctor: Whoops!<br />
:Baby: Ga! Ga!<br />
:[Baby bouncing/rolling out of hospital.]<br />
:Baby: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE<br />
:[Baby bouncing/rolling in front of a sunset.]<br />
:Baby: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE<br />
:The End<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
There is a [https://youtu.be/Rew-Q1b7kdo fan made animated version of this comic].<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Comics with color]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]<br />
[[Category:Romance]]<br />
[[Category:The Lion King]]<br />
[[Category:Comics with babies]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=431:_Delivery&diff=380939431: Delivery2025-07-07T12:18:33Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 431<br />
| date = June 2, 2008<br />
| title = Delivery<br />
| image = delivery.png<br />
| titletext = Ma'am, I admit that wasn't in the best taste, but you have to admire my delivery! Ha, ha get it? Oh god, don't throw those syringes! Your baby's fine!<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
It is an old superstition that a {{w|groundhog}} (a type of rodent akin to a large squirrel) can predict the seasonal change from winter to spring in early February. A groundhog that sees his shadow and retreats back in his home predicts another six weeks of winter, while a groundhog that does not see its shadow predicts an early spring. This event is celebrated in a small town in western Pennsylvania, where {{w|Punxsutawney Phil}} serves as the forecaster in an annual ceremony on February 2. This, in turn, becomes the basis for the comedy movie {{w|Groundhog Day (film)|''Groundhog Day''}}, which is also referenced in [[1076: Groundhog Day]].<br />
<br />
The joke here is that, instead of a groundhog predicting when spring will come, the baby is predicting the change in season. Evidently, he predicts that we will have six more weeks of winter.<br />
<br />
The title text indicates that the doctor was joking about the baby retreating back inside. He then makes a pun that results in an assault by the mother. The word ''delivery'' can mean the act of giving birth or the presentation of a joke. He then indicates that the baby is fine.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[In a delivery room.]<br />
:Doctor: There's the head... he's looking at me... Wait, he's crawling back into the womb.<br />
:Megan: What?!<br />
:Doctor: Yeah, it's the darnedest thing.<br />
:Megan: Um, what does it mean?<br />
:Doctor: My guess? Six more weeks of winter.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Puns]]<br />
[[Category:Comics with babies]]<br />
[[Category:Medicine]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=605:_Extrapolating&diff=380938605: Extrapolating2025-07-07T12:18:13Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 605<br />
| date = July 3, 2009<br />
| title = Extrapolating<br />
| image = extrapolating.png<br />
| titletext = By the third trimester, there will be hundreds of babies inside you.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
This comic is a joke about the incorrect application of {{w|linear extrapolation}}. By connecting two points without any context, we can come up with incredibly funny and absurd results. Here, connecting a bride's number of spouses yesterday (zero) and today—her wedding day—(one) can result in a linear extrapolation to hundreds of spouses a year. Cueball presents the accumulation of husbands as though it were a phenomenon beyond the bride's ability to control. Using similar points for pregnancy (yesterday: no babies, today: one), we can get 200+ children inside a single person by the seventh month of pregnancy.<br />
<br />
This is another comic in the infrequent [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]] series. Extrapolation and interpolation, often absurd, are also [[:Category:Extrapolation|recurrent topics]] on xkcd.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:My Hobby: Extrapolating<br />
<br />
:[There is a graph. Time runs along the horizontal axis; Number of Husbands on the vertical graph. Yesterday and today are labeled in time, 0 and 1 in number of husbands. Points are plotted with 0 at yesterday, 1 at today. A straight line is fitted through them.]<br />
:[Cueball is holding a pointer to the graph, and looking at Megan wearing a bridal train and veil.]<br />
:Cueball: As you can see, by late next month you'll have over four dozen husbands.<br />
:Cueball: Better get a bulk rate on wedding cake.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Comics with babies]]<br />
[[Category:Line graphs]]<br />
[[Category:My Hobby]]<br />
[[Category:Wedding]]<br />
[[Category:Extrapolation]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=746:_Birth&diff=380937746: Birth2025-07-07T12:18:04Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 746<br />
| date = May 28, 2010<br />
| title = Birth<br />
| image = birth.png<br />
| titletext = All those GTA marathons during the pregnancy were a bad idea.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
[[Megan]] is in the process of giving birth. Instead of the normal birth we would expect, a baby's head and a gun emerge. The baby, who can already talk, attempts to rob the doctor saying, "Nobody move-this is a stick-up!" as is typical in movie robberies. It is not explained how the gun ended up in Megan's womb.<br />
<br />
The title text explains the comic by explaining that the baby learned this bad behavior because the mother played the video game {{w|Grand Theft Auto (series)|''Grand Theft Auto'' (GTA)}} too frequently, as some people believe that if children play too many violent video games they act like the video games in real life. ''Grand Theft Auto'' has been criticized and publicly blamed for its potential to encouraging violent behavior in children. Thus, this comic is a parody of the studies and news stories about the effects of video games, especially ''Grand Theft Auto'', on children; it hyperbolizes them by imagining what effects video games would have on an unborn baby.<br />
<br />
This is one of the few comics that features Megan's name in the text.<br />
<br />
==Violent Video Games & GTA==<br />
In Grand Theft Auto III players gained the ability to pay the services of prostitutes to recover their health, and if they wished, kill them to get their money back. There is also criticism from the focus on illegal activities in comparison with traditional "heroic" roles that other games offer. The main character can commit a wide variety of crimes and violent acts while dealing with only temporary consequences, including the killing of policemen and military personnel.<br />
<br />
Some people believe that if children play too many violent video games they act like the video games in real life. Most of the news stories are usually based on anecdotal evidence.<br />
<br />
===News===<br />
These stories were in the news or the public consciousness at the time of the comic:<br />
<br />
On June 25th, 2003, teens William and Josh Buckner opened fire on vehicles on a local Tennessee highway with a shotgun and killed a 45-year-old man. They later told police they were emulating Grand Theft Auto and they did not intend to hurt anyone. <br />
<br />
Later in 2003, 17 year old Devin Moore grabbed a pistol from a police officer and shot and killed him along with another officer and dispatcher before fleeing in a police car. One of Moore's defense attorney, Jack Thompson, claimed it was Grand Theft Auto's graphic nature—with his constant playing time—that caused Moore to commit the murders, and Moore's family agreed. In May 2005, Thompson appeared via satellite on the Glenn Beck program on CNN's Headline News. Thompson mentioned Devin Moore and said regarding Grand Theft Auto III and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City "There's no doubt in my mind [...] that but for Devin Moore's training on this cop killing simulator, he would not have been able to kill three cops in Fayette, Alabama who are now dead and in the ground."<br />
<br />
In September 2006, Thompson brought another lawsuit, claiming that Cody Posey played the game obsessively before murdering his father Delbert Paul Posey, stepmother Tryone Schmid, and stepsister Marilea Schmid on a ranch in Albuquerque, New Mexico.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Megan is giving birth. A doctor stands near the end of the table.]<br />
:Doctor: Okay, the head is starting to crown.<br />
:Doctor: Push!<br />
<br />
:Doctor: Wait, that's... that's a tube.<br />
<br />
:Doctor: It looks like the barrel of a...<br />
<br />
:[A ''Click'' noise comes from Megan's vagina.]<br />
<br />
:[A voice, that of the baby, comes from Megan's vagina.]<br />
:Baby: Nobody move— This is a stick-up!<br />
:Doctor: Oh, God! Stop pushing, Megan! Can you ... Pull?<br />
<br />
== Trivia ==<br />
*The strap of the doctor's mask is missing in the third panel.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Video games]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Comics with babies]]<br />
[[Category:Medicine]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=2567:_Language_Development&diff=3809362567: Language Development2025-07-07T12:17:24Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 2567<br />
| date = January 12, 2022<br />
| title = Language Development<br />
| image = language_development.png<br />
| titletext = The worst is the Terrible Twos, when they're always throwing things and shrieking, "forsooth, to bed thou shalt not take me, cur!"<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
[[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] are having what could appear to be a typical conversation about her child's ability to learn languages really fast. But for the joke, the comic mixes up two possible meaning of "language development:" the development of an individual person {{w|language acquisition|learning a language}}, and the development of languages themselves over time.<br />
<br />
The conventional meaning of {{w|language development}} is the process by which infants begin to talk, that is to understand and produce intelligible speech. The field of {{w|language acquisition}} (sometimes called... language development) seeks to understand how baby humans are able to rapidly comprehend, internalize, and begin producing a new language.<br />
<br />
Instead of starting with {{w|babbling}}, the first stage of normal language development, this baby's form of "language development" seems to be the linguistic form: going through all of the theoretical stages of the evolution of the English language, from Proto-Indo-European to Germanic to Old English. <br />
<br />
In {{w|comparative linguistics}} and {{w|historical linguistics}}, {{w|Proto-Indo-European_language|Proto-Indo-European}} is a theorized common ancestor of the Indo-European language family. {{w|Proto-Germanic_language|Proto-Germanic}} is a reconstructed language formerly spoken in Iron Age Scandinavia. It developed out of Proto-Indo-European and is the proposed common ancestor for all {{w|Germanic languages}}. {{w|Old English}} would have developed out of Proto-Germanic. Modern English developed out of Old English with many additions from French (which comes from a different branch of the Indo-European language family).<br />
<br />
This parody of language development parallels the discredited {{w|theory of recapitulation}} in embryo development, sometimes expressed as "ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny", in which a developing animal embryo (ontogeny) was once thought to go through stages resembling successive adult stages in the evolution of the animal's remote ancestors (phylogeny). It also plays off of misconceptions about language evolution. Many people assume that ancient languages are more "pure" and "primitive" and that modern languages are more "complex" and "advanced". The comic takes this idea to its logical conclusion by joking that children should successively graduate between historic languages while learning to speak, which is more obviously absurd &mdash; it would take years to acquire any of the languages involved.<br />
<br />
In linguistics, reconstructed words from proto-languages are commonly marked with an asterisk (*) to show that the word forms are not attested by any historical sources but created as a proposed ancestor word. The baby says the Proto-Indo-European roots that the words "milk" and "please" are derived from. Obviously, the speakers of Proto-Indo-European did not speak in roots, but used words made from the roots, so the way the baby talks does not reflect an obvious stage of the proto-language's fully formed use (although it ''may'' happen to reflect some historic protolinguistically-raised infant's personal linguistic step on the way to eventually attaining a full protolinguistic fluency).<br />
<br />
Some sounds babies make are hard to interpret.{{citation needed}} However, humans have a tendency to recognize known things and patterns. They see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear. Thus, a parent familiar with Proto-Indo-European may falsely hear their baby speak Proto-Indo-European by misinterpreting unintelligible sounds.<br />
<br />
Perhaps this is an alternate universe where every baby has to gradually develop their language skills along a historical path rather than a child-developmental one, until they reach the ultimately developed modern language of their parents (in this case Modern English).<br />
<br />
There have been alleged {{w|language deprivation experiments}} where newborn infants were not exposed to any spoken language in order to find the "natural human language", in the days before ethics review boards would have forbidden such cruel treatments. Such experiments are known today to be a source for psychological problems at least. Alleged outcomes in the apocryphal sources range from the deprived children imitating other sounds in their environment, to them dying.<br />
<br />
In the title text, Randall describes a 2-year-old child as speaking in {{w|iambic pentameter}} and in Elizabethan English, a meter and dialect of modern English used by {{w|Shakespeare}} more than 400 years ago. The [https://www.verywellfamily.com/terrible-twos-and-your-toddler-2634394 Terrible Twos] are a colloquialism referring to the developmental tendency of two-year-olds to have more temperamental behavior, as the child's developing assertion of autonomy and self-identity clash with other expectations of behaviour, before hopefully acceptably balancing their assertiveness with social normatism. The toddler's quote of "forsooth, to bed thou shalt not take me, cur!" would roughly be equivalent to "Indeed, you shall not take me to bed, you dog!" in less archaic English.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Megan and Cueball are looking to the left at a baby with dark hair. The baby sits on the left side of a table in an elevated baby chair.]<br />
:Megan: He's only 1, so he still mostly speaks proto-Indo-European.<br />
:Megan: But we've heard a few Germanic words already, so Old English can't be far off.<br />
:Baby: *Melg- *Pl(e)hk-<br />
:Cueball: They progress so fast!<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
This was the second comic to come out after the [[Countdown in header text]] started.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Language]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Comics with babies]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=2839:_Language_Acquisition&diff=3809352839: Language Acquisition2025-07-07T12:17:19Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 2839<br />
| date = October 9, 2023<br />
| title = Language Acquisition<br />
| image = language_acquisition_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 193x239px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = My first words were 'These were my first words; what were yours?'<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
<br />
{{w|Language acquisition}} is the process by which humans, generally infants, learn a language. There are many theories as to how this process works, but Randall humorously conflates an infant's language acquisition process to an adult's , saying that infants learn languages one new word at a time. This could be equated to how app-based language learning works, at least at certain stages of vocabulary expansion. This is typically not true{{Citation needed}} for infants learning the native language(s) that they will consider as their mother tongue.<br />
<br />
The child's sentence says that he has acquired another word, bringing his total to twelve words, all unique. This is conveyed in the twelve unique words spoken, thus indicating (if true) that these are the very (and only) words the infant has acquired up to this point. These would be a very unusual set of words to be the first ones learned for an infant (and even for an adult, deliberately acquiring a new language). Furthermore, the child appears to have learned some fairly advanced grammatical concepts in order to construct this fairly complex sentence, similar to how adults may start with somewhat advanced grammar rules as they start to assemble the knowledge of a new language. Learning grammar typically takes much longer, and only occurs makes sense once sufficient vocabulary has been learnt to recognise the patterns in how the words are used.<br />
<br />
Interestingly if this sentence is true, the child has learned the word "twelve" before learning the words for any other numbers, and so could not have given a quantitative update on previous days. However, this would also imply that their counting is not yet as advanced as their language acquisition, which may mean that they are simply wrong about the number of words they have learned.<br />
<br />
In fact, it is possible to create a "learning sequence" based on these twelve words to somewhat make a little sense if the words are acquired in a word-after-word basis. An example is shown below:<br />
* Word!<br />
* Another word!<br />
* Learned another word!<br />
* I learned another word.<br />
* I learned another word today.<br />
* Update: I learned another word today.<br />
* Vocabulary update: I learned another word today.<br />
* My vocabulary update: I learned another word today.<br />
* I learned another word today to update my vocabulary.<br />
* I learned another word today to update my total vocabulary.<br />
* Bringing another word I learned today to update my total vocabulary.<br />
* Vocabulary update: I learned another word today, bringing my total to twelve.<br />
<br />
Two letter-blocks on the ground next to the child show capitals 'A' and 'B', and a third has an upside-down lowercase 'e'. The block with the 'e' may indeed be upside-down, but it could also be a block with the phonetic symbol {{w|schwa}} on it. As phonetics are generally used by lay-people when they start to learn how different sounds in their target language is pronounced, this would suggest the parents are teaching their child advanced linguistic concepts before they've fully learned to speak their first language, which might explain why the child's language acquisition is so unusual.<br />
<br />
The title text makes a self-referential joke about the concept of "first words", where a supposed child discusses one's own first words in a complete sentence. There are seven unique words in the title text, most of which do not appear in the comic image, suggesting the title text and comic image referred to two different children. It is a common milestone to celebrate a child's "[https://www.parents.com/baby/development/talking/baby-talk-a-month-by-month-timeline1/ first word]", but typically these would be less advanced words, such as "mama" or "dada".<br />
<br />
This seems to be another indication that [[Randall]] is conflating adult language acquisition and infant language acquisition, because such moderately-complex sentences are usually a beginner's first attempt in a new target language, by the way of learning set phrases by rote (for concepts they can already voice in another language). Examples might include standard greetings, such as "Hello, my name is [...]", and various questions and answers related to their exposure to the foreign language concerned.<br />
<br />
[[2567: Language Development]] has had a similarly obscure take on language acquisition.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[A child, drawn as a smaller Hairy. He stands amongst three blocks with letters on them, showing faces with A, B and an upside-down lowercase e. Megan and Cueball stand to the right of him.]<br />
:Child: Vocabulary update: I learned another word today, bringing my total to twelve.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Language]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Comics with babies]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1765:_Baby_Post&diff=3809341765: Baby Post2025-07-07T12:15:53Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 1765<br />
| date = November 28, 2016<br />
| title = Baby Post<br />
| image = baby_post.png<br />
| titletext = [bzzzt] "REMEMBER TO CHECK IN FOR YOUR FLIGHT TO LONDON." "My wha-" [bzzzt] "YOUR UBER WILL ARRIVE IN FOUR MINUTES."<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
In this comic, [[Cueball]] is questioned about a series of posts made to his {{w|Facebook}} account. He explains the posts as the result of leaving his daughter (a baby, according to the title) unattended with his tablet. This is very common for parents with small children in modern times. Children tend to be fascinated with touchscreen devices, which include many entertainment options for small children (such as the mentioned "{{w|The Wheels on the Bus|Wheels on the Bus}}" video). Infants also tend to experiment with such devices, and frequently open apps, post links, and make calls without intending to.{{Citation needed}} This explains the first two panels: sharing the same video six times could be the result of the child repeatedly hitting the same area of the screen (such as a "share" link), and the gibberish text "FHFF,,,M,,,," could be due to the child randomly tapping on the screen, all without knowing what she was doing.<br />
<br />
The joke begins when Cueball discovers an apparent pattern in the new posts, starting with a map of hardware stores and culminating in blueprints for the {{w|Tower of London}}. These subjects, if they were chosen consciously by an adult, would strongly suggest the poster was planning a heist to steal the {{w|Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom|Crown Jewels}}, which have a reputation, based in part on several movies (for example, ''{{w|Minions_(film)|Minions}}''), for being overly complicated to steal. It is very unlikely for a baby to be capable of designing and carrying out such a plan,{{Citation needed}} but it is also unlikely for these specific links to be posted all by accident. Cueball seems genuinely perplexed by the links (and presumably wouldn't have posted them if he were planning the crime himself), so the reader is left wondering what could have caused these posts, and whether Cueball and/or his daughter might know more than they let on. Cueball's suggestion of "keeping an eye" on his daughter suggests he is seriously considering the possibility that she might be an evil genius.<br />
<br />
The title text continues the joke by notifying Cueball that his flight to London is leaving soon, and an {{w|Uber_(company)|Uber}} driver is coming to pick him up. Since his daughter was using the tablet and he is surprised by the messages, this suggests she is in fact the mastermind who has already started executing her plan. Either she is making the journey herself (and Cueball is only receiving notifications because he has the same accounts linked to his phone), Cueball is being roped into the crime, or his daughter is deliberately making it look like he intends to steal the Crown Jewels in order to get him into trouble.<br />
<br />
The crown jewels are also mentioned in [[1698: Theft Quadrants]]. The comic is similar to [[1419: On the Phone]], though there it seems that the daughter isn't just a cover story for Cueball. It is also somewhat similar to [[576: Packages]], in that Cueball seems weirder since it started.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
:[Ponytail is looking at her phone while talking to Cueball.]<br />
:Ponytail: Why did you post a ''The Wheels on the Bus'' Youtube video to Facebook six times?<br />
:Cueball: Haha, whoops! My daughter was watching the tablet and must have hit something.<br />
<br />
:[Cueball is talking to someone on the phone while pushing a shopping cart with a few items in it.]<br />
:Phone: Hey, did you mean to post "FHFF,,,M,,,," and a link to a map of hardware stores?<br />
:Cueball: I should really look up how to lock the screen.<br />
<br />
:[White Hat is holding his phone while walking with Cueball.]<br />
:White Hat: You just posted videos on metal-working, zip lines, and camouflage.<br />
:Cueball: Uhh...<br />
<br />
:[Ponytail is looking at her phone while talking to Cueball.]<br />
:Ponytail: Um, you posted blueprints of the Crown Jewel rooms in the Tower of London.<br />
:Cueball: Maybe we should be keeping more of an eye on her.<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
On the day of this comic's release, the header was changed to show some new T-shirts were on sale in the [[Store|xkcd store]], which has now been [[Store|shut down]]. An archived version of the comic showing the aforementioned header can be found [https://web.archive.org/web/20161128175506/http://xkcd.com/1765/ here].<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Computers]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]<br />
[[Category:Social networking]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Comics with babies]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1776:_Reindeer&diff=3809331776: Reindeer2025-07-07T12:13:05Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 1776<br />
| date = December 23, 2016<br />
| title = Reindeer<br />
| image = reindeer.png<br />
| titletext = And then in a twinkling, a sound gave me pause / From the roof came the scratching of eight tarsal claws.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
In the [[:Category:Christmas|Christmas comic]] of 2016, [[Black Hat]] is at it again, freaking out a young [[Hairy]], by replacing the eight reindeer of {{w|Santa Claus|Santa's}} sleigh with a single spider-legged reindeer, thus with eight legs. He considers this "more authentic" because Santa Claus is based on {{w|Odin}} {{w|Santa_Claus#Predecessor_figures|(among ''many'' '''other''' things)}}, the chief god of Norse mythology. On the pagan holiday of {{w|Yule}}, Odin was said to ride his eight-legged horse, {{w|Sleipnir}}, across the land. Children would leave one of their boots out and fill it with hay for Sleipnir to eat, then Odin would refill the boot with gifts. This predates the Christmas tradition of hanging stockings by the chimney. <br />
<br />
The traditional interpretation of the horse with eight legs is a normal equine body, with a pair of identical legs where each leg of a normal horse is. As such, Sleipnir looks majestic and not entirely unnatural. Black Hat's interpretation is to use the {{w|body plan}} of a spider. The result of this is to make a {{W|Chimaera (mythology)|chimaera}} that is both creepy and terrifying, at least to those with {{w|arachnophobia}} (the quite common fear of spiders).<br />
<br />
The title text is a parody of two lines from the poem "{{w|A_Visit_from_St._Nicholas|Twas the Night Before Christmas}}", "And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof / The prancing and pawing of each little hoof." <br />
<br />
The lines are changed to what they could have been if Santa had a spider-legged reindeer - the sound of "eight tarsal claws", referring to the small pair (or triplet) of claws at the end of each of a spider's eight legs. These claws allow them to hold onto objects, including their own web. However, as such an eight-legged spider would have 16 or 24 claws, the text is slightly incorrect.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Black Hat and a Hairy-like child are standing to the right of an empty sleigh pulled by a reindeer with eight spider-like legs. Black Hat has raised one arm towards the reindeer and the boy has his arms out to either side.]<br />
:Black Hat: In earlier Norse myths, the eight reindeer were actually one steed with eight ''legs''.<br />
:Black Hat: So I think this is more authentic.<br />
:Hairy: ''Aaaaaa!''<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Christmas]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]<br />
[[Category:Animals]]<br />
[[Category:Spiders]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1611:_Baking_Soda_and_Vinegar&diff=3809321611: Baking Soda and Vinegar2025-07-07T12:11:45Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 1611<br />
| date = December 2, 2015<br />
| title = Baking Soda and Vinegar<br />
| image = baking_soda_and_vinegar.png<br />
| titletext = Sure, it may not meet science fair standards, but I want credit for getting my baking soda and vinegar mountain added to the Decade Volcanoes list.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
In popular fiction (and maybe in part in fact) the "{{w|Sodium bicarbonate|Baking Soda}} and {{w|Vinegar}}" {{w|volcano}} is often a staple image of the science nerd at the science fair (see [https://sciencebob.com/the-erupting-volcano/ example here]), unless all the science nerds are doing ''real'' imaginative science and the student(s) with the volcano exhibit are dragging out the old hackneyed stereotype. It may also be age-dependent, this being something that is relatively advanced science for the lower grades but rather a childish experiment in the hands of older students.<br />
<br />
[[Ponytail]] is about to point out any one of a number of flaws with the trope. For one thing, while the project may exhibit interesting physical phenomena of the sort that some scientists study, the project itself doesn't actually teach anything about the scientific method. {{w|Science fair|Actual science fairs}} are usually intended to teach students about the scientific method by exercising it firsthand: subjecting hypotheses to appropriately rigorous experimentation and reporting on the results. The cliché volcano exhibit doesn't teach any of this and may instead reinforce the idea that science is about cool explosions and not a system of inquiry. Further, the exhibit doesn't (usually) actually demonstrate anything about volcanic activity: it is relatively simple chemistry involving the reaction of acetic acid in vinegar and sodium bicarbonate in baking soda to produce sodium acetate and (notably) a vigorous froth made up of bubbles of carbon dioxide. It is often dressed up to look more impressive, such as by using dye or other additives to make the 'eruption' look more 'realistic,' but it often fails to replicate important features of actual volcanic eruptions, such as the flow of lava, associated seismic events or the collapse of part of the volcanic crater. Most people doing soda volcano projects don't even explain what's happening.<br />
<br />
[[Jill]] has made a little more of her volcano, however, as it seems to go beyond simple chemistry. The model replicates many of the dangers (aside from the pure lava) of a volcano and appears to have been given scaled-down vehicles (not visible in the comic) trying (and failing) to escape the dangers of the resultant mud-flows (a.k.a. {{w|lahar|lahars}} in professional terminology) being modeled. Ponytail contradicts her early reaction by also not liking the more realistic model, although it is the carnage she dislikes, not that it has more correct details of the eruption itself.<br />
<br />
Even more, this is not an isolated 'model volcano' but a vinegar-powered representation of a geological 'hot spot', such as with the islands of Hawaii, in which the spot moves with respect to the Earth's crust (or vice-versa) and generates a new volcano some way off. Despite this model being supported on a table, it appears that the 'project' extends some way beyond that and has somehow contrived further eruptions away from the table, the room and probably even the building.<br />
<br />
The 'project' seems to be turning into a very thorough model of a much larger geological process (a {{w|Supervolcano}} like {{w|Yellowstone Caldera|the one}} under {{w|Yellowstone National Park|Yellowstone}}) and destined to produce a ''very real'' {{w|volcanic winter}}. Where a magma-powered volcano could produce vast clouds of dust, preventing the sun's energy from warming the Earth, in this case it's the airborne salt (probably sodium acetate) from the chemical reaction that appears to be in danger of causing crop failure. There's no mention of the corresponding environmental effects of the vast amounts of carbon dioxide (and/or aqueous carbonic acid) necessarily released in proportion to the ejected salt (presumably itself not left in solution).<br />
<br />
It is especially troubling that the child even mentions that her model volcano is an offshoot of a baking soda ''super''volcano. Supervolcanoes are massive volcanoes, far larger than even those on the list of {{w|Decade Volcanoes}} (mentioned in the title text), whose eruption would likely trigger species-level extinction events comparable to the dinosaur extinction. The best hope humanity has here is that the baking soda supervolcano is as small compared to supervolcanoes as the girl's baking soda volcano is to real volcanoes; the ratio is about 1:600 (for a cinder cone volcano), implying that the baking soda supervolcano, if modeled after Yellowstone, would only be about 80 meters by 120 meters in size. Unfortunately, the climatological and economic symptoms witnessed outside and on the grain market suggest that the model supervolcano is not very small.<br />
<br />
When someone (presumably Megan) says she wants to stop learning, Jill grimly states that "Soon, we all will", alluding to their impending doom.<br />
<br />
[[Randall]] has mentioned supervolcanoes before in [[1053: Ten Thousand]] (title text) and [[1159: Countdown]], making it a recurring interest of his. The volcano [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/6/6a/Entire_Volcano_zoom_out.png Mount Doom] was depicted to the far left in the game [[1608: Hoverboard]] released a week before this comic. It may not be a supervolcano, but quite potent anyway... Later this comic was directly referenced in the seventh panel of [[1714: Volcano Types]], where it is up to the reader to decide it, this is Jill's model people or what happens outside on her supervolcano. <br />
<br />
In the title text the student expects extra credit for getting her model volcano added to the Decade Volcanoes list, a list maintained by {{w|International Association of Volcanology and Chemistry of the Earth's Interior}} of the world's most dangerous volcanoes (currently 16). It is either an absurd notion or a very troubling achievement that a science fair project could achieve the threat level posed by the likes of {{w|Mount Vesuvius}} (which destroyed ancient Pompeii in Italy, and threatens modern-day Naples in the same manner), {{w|Mount Rainier}} (whose lahars could potentially destroy parts of Seattle) or {{w|Mauna Loa}} (which could create a massive landslide, triggering a major tsunami that would threaten all of Hawaii). But if the volcano erupting outside is scaled down to match the scale of her original model volcano, at least that means that it was only a "local" volcano event and not a supervolcano event that she created, so it would only doom the local area.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Ponytail is standing behind Jill who has one hand up. They are looking at a table with a model volcano.]<br />
:Jill: My science project is a baking soda and vinegar volcano!<br />
<br />
:[A larger frame that includes Megan who stands to the right. Ponytail is a little further back and Jill has taken her hand down. The baking soda volcano erupts in a small upwards explosion.]<br />
:Ponytail: Why do people make these? It isn't really even a science project. It doesn't teach anything about-<br />
:Volcano: '''''Foom!'''''<br />
<br />
:[Smaller frame again. Ponytail has moved closer to the table, Jill moves around the table to the right, pointing at the volcano while Megan walks closer. The "lava" flows down the volcano on both sides.]<br />
:Jill: See how the baking soda and vinegar mix with mud and ice to form deadly flowing lahars?<br />
<br />
:[Zoom in on Jill's head close to the stream of lava going down the lower part of the volcano's right slope.]<br />
:Jill: You can see the tiny cars trying to flee.<br />
:Jill: Whoops! Too slow.<br />
<br />
:[Zoom in on Ponytail.]<br />
:Ponytail: Um. This is a bit grim.<br />
:Jill (off panel): Learning!<br />
<br />
:[Jill stand to the right of the table looking at the now still volcano. Shaky lines surround a sound effect written over the top of this slim frame:]<br />
: ''Rumble''<br />
<br />
:[Back to showing all three as before. Jill lifts a finger in the air.]<br />
:Jill: And now we're learning that this volcano is an offshoot of a vinegar hotspot rising from deep within the earth.<br />
:Jill: ''Annnd...''<br />
<br />
:[Jill turns away from the table looking right as a loud noise can be heard off-panel, depicted in white text on a wavy black bubble:]<br />
:<big>''Boooom''</big><br />
<br />
:[Megan has walked over to a window to the right. It has the blinds drawn down. She opens a hole in the blinds by pulling down in the middle. It is dark outside. The other two are outside the frame to the left.]<br />
:Jill (off panel): The baking soda supervolcano erupts, injecting clouds of salt into the stratosphere.<br />
:Megan: Why is it getting dark outside?<br />
:Jill (off panel): Learning is fun!<br />
<br />
:[We see Jill standing close to the table, of which only the right leg can be seen. She holds up a tablet with a graph showing a rising trend. The other two are both out of the frame.]<br />
:Jill: Sunlight dims. The earth cools. Summer frosts form. Crops die. We check the markets. Grain prices are rising.<br />
:Megan (off panel): I want to stop learning now.<br />
:Jill: Soon, we all will.<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
{{w|Campi Flegrei}} is a real-life example of her project.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Jill]]<br />
[[Category:Science]]<br />
[[Category:Geology]]<br />
[[Category:Volcanoes]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1348:_Before_the_Internet&diff=3809311348: Before the Internet2025-07-07T12:11:39Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 1348<br />
| date = March 28, 2014<br />
| title = Before the Internet<br />
| image = before_the_internet.png<br />
| titletext = We watched DAYTIME TV. Do you realize how soul-crushing it was? I'd rather eat an iPad than go back to watching daytime TV.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
A young [[Ponytail]] asks [[Megan]] what life was like before the Internet. The girl, obviously, was born after the Internet was invented, became widely known about and/or attained its current level of ubiquity. (Those milestones are spread wide, and are often confused with each other. A young child of indeterminate age, in 2014, might ''possibly'' have been born slightly before the latter became all but indisputed, but without much memory of it.) Megan responds that life was very boring without computers or mobile phones. This comic appears to be a parody of the common complaint — often done by elder people — that life was better and more fulfilling in the "good old days", in that there weren't so many distractions and people could actually get things done that were meaningful. The ages switch roles with the younger character being prepared to believe that life was more fulfilling before technology, and the elder rejecting the proposition.<br />
<br />
To Megan, even a more fulfilling and engaging life "wasn't worth" the price of what it meant to be bored in the days before smartphones and computers that could go online. Even though the ponytail girl says that she still experiences boredom in spite of having advanced technology to occupy her, Megan assures her that her version of boredom is nothing like what those in the pre-Internet days had to endure. Again, this is a reversal of the typical exchange in which a young person tries to insist that they still have social contact/get out and about/do worthwhile things in their spare time, and the elder person responds, "Not like we did."<br />
<br />
The title text continues in this vein as Megan talks about what people in her day resorted to doing when they were bored, for lack of anything better to do: they watched {{w|daytime TV}}. Daytime television consisted mainly of soap operas, talk shows, game shows, infomercials and children's programming and is notorious for being, in Megan's words, "soul-crushing". To round off the comparison, Megan uses a modern-day metaphor to express her extreme distaste for daytime television, saying that she would rather "eat an iPad" than go through that again. In other words, modern-day gadgets are so much better that she'd still have more fun if she were eating them than if she had to go without them. Alternatively, it could be to emphasize how unpleasant daytime TV is; eating an iPad would likely be unpleasant (e.g. it is too large to easily be swallowed whole and too hard to easily be bitten into parts), and it could poison her or give her an internal electrical or battery fire. Saying that she would rather eat an iPad would also be a powerful statement because Megan would not be able to watch movies, play games, read the news, etc… on that iPad after eating it{{Citation needed}} (although she could just buy another iPad—at least if she survives the battery of the iPad that she ate leaking and/or exploding and other hazards associated with eating an iPad).<br />
<br />
Megan might just be {{tvtropes|TheDungAges|responding with the opposite of}} what {{tvtropes|YeGoodeOldeDays|she's expected to say}} in this dialogue in order to mess with the younger girl. In reality, life was neither likely to be noticeably more fulfilling or noticeably more boring without technology: it was just life. People are equally capable of wasting their time and of doing worthwhile things regardless of what age they live in, and those who wax nostalgic about an older, better time are liable to forget that. This recalls the {{w|Hedonic treadmill}} theory which states that people will always be at roughly the same level of happiness regardless of positive or negative events or technological advances in civilization.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Young girl talking to Megan, both holding smartphones.] <br />
:Girl: Do you remember before the internet?<br />
:Megan: Oh yeah, totally.<br />
:Girl: what was it like?<br />
:Megan: Not having a phone or computer to distract you?<br />
:Girl: Yeah.<br />
:Megan: It was '''''SO. BORING.''''' All the time. I just '''''sat''''' there. It was the '''''worst.'''''<br />
:Girl: But wasn't it, like, more fulfilling? Engaging?<br />
:Megan: Wasn't worth it.<br />
:Girl: ''I'' still get bored.<br />
:Megan: Not like we did.<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Internet]]<br />
[[Category:Smartphones]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1370:_President&diff=3809301370: President2025-07-07T12:08:37Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 1370<br />
| date = May 19, 2014<br />
| title = President<br />
| image = president.png<br />
| titletext = Anyone who thinks we're all going to spend the 2032 elections poring over rambling blog posts by teenagers has never tried to read a rambling blog post by a teenager.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
This strip shows a discussion between [[Ponytail]] and [[Jill]] about an aspect of the future. [[Randall]] likes this setup, allowing to put in perspective the various "decay" predictions and shows his optimism.<br />
<br />
Here, the subject is scandal. How will a generation that is documenting and leaving behind a permanent public record of its juvenile misadventures - immature and impolitic writings, photographs of inebriation at parties posted on Facebook, Twitter posts about breakups, etc. - produce successful future politicians? Won't future opposition researchers and reporters have enough embarrassing material to destroy any Millennial's public reputation? In previous generations, juveniles were freer to go through this phase of development without leaving behind a digital record, making it easier to sidestep or paper over rumors of youthful misbehavior. See, e.g., George W. Bush, who dismissed questions about his rumored use of drugs in his youth by saying only, "When I was young and irresponsible, I was young and irresponsible."<br />
<br />
The child's answer, in addition to teasing the adult about her generation's coming obsolescence, is that the next generation will be fine because in the future no one will care. The title text amplifies this optimistic message, suggesting that old blog posts by former teenagers will just seem boring, not salacious. [[Randall]] offers no explanation for this upbeat spin, but it is a recurring topic and some have argued elsewhere that the potential power of Internet-chronicled youthful indiscretions will be defused because everyone will be in the same boat, making future voters (and, in another context, employers) more tolerant of such things.<br />
<br />
The strip also contains an existential twist, as shown in the child's answer. It alludes to every generation's dismissal of the next, as actually being due to psychological insecurities. We may disguise our dismissals by attacking their faults & different lifestyles. But in truth, these dismissals are actually rooted in our innate fear of becoming obsolete, useless, surpassed, and lost in a bewildering world that has passed us by.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Ponytail and Jill are walking together.]<br />
:Ponytail: I can't imagine anyone who grew up on the Internet being able to run for President.<br />
<br />
:[Closeup of Jill.]<br />
:Jill: Why? Because it'd mark the handover of a world that no longer needs you to a generation you don't understand?<br />
<br />
:[Ponytail and Jill have stopped walking and are facing each other.]<br />
:Jill: ...Or because there would be embarrassing pictures of us as teenagers?<br />
<br />
:[Closeup of Ponytail.]<br />
:Ponytail: Um. The pictures one?<br />
:Jill (off-screen): Pictures of teens! How will we even survive??<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]<br />
[[Category:Internet]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Jill]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1216:_Sticks_and_Stones&diff=3809291216: Sticks and Stones2025-07-07T12:04:35Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 1216<br />
| date = May 24, 2013<br />
| title = Sticks and Stones<br />
| image = sticks and stones.png<br />
| titletext = Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{w|Sticks and Stones (nursery rhyme)|Sticks and Stones}} is a nursery rhyme, one common variant of which goes as follows:<br />
<blockquote>Sticks and stones may break my bones<br><br />
But words will never hurt me.</blockquote><br />
The rhyme is often used by parents and teachers to persuade a child to ignore mean taunts and name-calling that others use to try and hurt the child's feelings. The idea is that you haven't been hurt physically, so it shouldn't be a big deal.<br />
<br />
The comic challenges this sentiment when the child responds that, although words can't harm you physically, they can change how you feel, and he considers that to be "the only thing that matters in this stupid world." [[Cueball]] replies optimistically, by claiming that the world really isn't that bad. The child refers again to the rhyme, observing that the physical world can be harsh, because there are things like sticks and stones that break your bones and presumably people who use them as weapons to do so. Or yet worse, that someone would think up such a gruesome saying in the first place. Upon reflection, Cueball agrees that this image is actually horrific.<br />
<br />
The title text is rather dark, and is probably a reference to the currently active bullying and shaming culture.{{Actual citation needed}} None of us deserve to be beaten or stoned,{{Citation needed}} but words are powerful enough to make us {{w|Gaslighting|think that we do}}.<br />
<br />
Recent studies (for example: [http://www.pnas.org/content/108/15/6270.full?sid=758b38cc-b399-4d22-9c37-3c074cf321b Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain]) have shown that, in fact, the brain's reactions to physical pain and emotional rejection are somewhat similar and even feed into each other.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[A child, who looks like a miniature Cueball, is running with arms outstretched toward Cueball.]<br />
:Child: Did you hear what he said about me!?<br />
:Cueball: Well, remember: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words—<br />
<br />
:Child: —can make someone else feel happy or sad, which is literally the only thing that matters in this stupid world?<br />
<br />
:[Brief pause.]<br />
<br />
:Child: Right?<br />
:Cueball: The world isn't ''that'' bad.<br />
:Child: Explain the line about sticks and stones?<br />
:Cueball: ...OK, maybe it's kind of horrific.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Language]]<br />
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1210:_I%27m_So_Random&diff=3809281210: I'm So Random2025-07-07T12:04:03Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 1210<br />
| date = May 10, 2013<br />
| title = I'm So Random<br />
| image = im so random.png<br />
| titletext = In retrospect, it's weird that as a kid I thought completely random outbursts made me seem interesting, given that from an information theory point of view, lexical white noise is just about the opposite of interesting by definition.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
A child [[Hairy]] walks up to [[Black Hat]], utters a nonsense phrase ("monkey tacos"), and then proclaims that he is "so random". This is a fairly common modern phenomenon in which children (hopefully ''only'' children) make "random" statements, and somehow imagine themselves to be funny and interesting because of this. Black Hat, never one to hesitate over bringing someone down, replies that he is also random. He then proves this by pouring forth a torrential stream of truly random numbers that overcomes poor Hairy. Black Hat then resumes his posture at the computer, as if nothing has happened.<br />
<br />
It is true that when brilliant and creative people speak passionately about a subject, they can make mental leaps and changes of context that might seem bewildering to an outsider. The conversation may even seem to be "random". However, simply vocalizing nonsense is not analogous, or even desirable; it is more likely a character trait of someone who is immature or has difficulty in following or adding to a normal human conversation.<br />
<br />
Black Hat's "random" numbers are actually quoted from [http://oeis.org/A002205 the first lines] of ''{{w|A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates}}'' making it both "officially random", but also essentially not. This book is also referenced in [[1751: Movie Folder]]. See also: [[221: Random Number]].<br />
<br />
A side note is that "Monkey tacos" is a phrase that contains two trochees. A {{w|trochee}} is a {{w|Foot_(prosody)|metric foot}} with one stressed beat and one unstressed beat; it may be a reference to or an unconscious allusion to [[856: Trochee Fixation]].<br />
<br />
The title text deals with the connotations of the word "interesting" in different contexts. On one hand, children may be easily amused by behavior that lies outside of conventional social norms and defies expectations. Children may attempt to add whimsy to a situation they perceive as dull by interjecting words that have no significant meaning or relationship whatsoever to anything around them, merely to make things seem different and therefore "interesting" (at least to them.) There is some merit to this perspective: human social norms developed largely as a way to make social interaction more predictable and manageable and correspondingly ''less'' interesting, to free up our attention for other, more pressing matters. Someone who is indeed behaving "randomly" often ''does'' command interest and attention, if only because their unpredictability makes them potentially dangerous. However, to a child, social conventions may seem arbitrary and needlessly inhibitive, and they will often test the limits of such conventions by deliberately acting in violation of them and seeing what happens. "Random outbursts" of nonsense phrases are a fairly harmless way of doing this, and often do not incur sharply negative responses beyond annoyance (Hairy's experience being an exception), so children (including Randall in his youth) might do this very frequently until they mature out of it.<br />
<br />
However, "interesting" in information theory is quite a different matter. {{w|Information theory}} is "[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/B0080430767006082 the mathematical treatment of the concepts, parameters and rules governing the transmission of messages through communication systems.]" It is therefore very concerned with the meanings of the words and phrases people use to convey information, and it would regard something as "interesting" if it exhibited a notably consistent and predictable pattern that pointed towards greater significance. As such, "the opposite of interesting" would be expressions that hold no meaning, convey no information, and do not indicate any recognizable patterns or significance - such as the "random outbursts" that Randall once believed made him seem interesting as a child.<br />
<br />
He characterizes these interjections of random words as "lexical white noise," "lexical" meaning "[https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/lexical relating to words or vocabulary of a language.]" {{w|White noise}} is essentially random sound waves which, taken en masse, blend into audio static that takes on a macroscopically uniform sound experience despite their random nature. This can be used in some sleep or relaxation therapies, which foils well with the random assault experienced in the comic. There are also other {{w|colors of noise}}, and yes, [[915: Connoisseur|people have strong opinions as to which one is better]].{{acn}}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Black Hat is sitting in an office chair at a desk when Hairy runs up behind him with his arms raised up.]<br />
:Hairy: ''Monkey tacos!'' <br />
:Hairy: I'm so random.<br />
<br />
:[A frame-less panel pans to Black Hat and his desk, showing there is a computer on his desk and that he is actually typing on a keyboard in front of him on a lowered shelf.]<br />
:Black Hat: Yeah, me too.<br />
<br />
:[Black Hat swivels his chair around (as shown with a gray curved line beneath the chair at his feet) to face Hairy. He then emits from his mouth a massive speech bubble filled with random numbers in gray. This torrent of random numbers knocks Hairy to the ground as he shields his face with one arm while the other grasps for the floor to cushion his fall (it is notable that speech bubbles are not normally used in xkcd.) The numbers themselves are written deliberately haphazardly and in varying sizes, which makes it difficult to read them in any consistent manner; however, for reasons explained above, there is actually some order, and using that order they would appear like this:]<br />
:Black Hat: <br />
<font color="gray"><br />
::::&nbsp;100973253376520135863467354<br />
::::&nbsp;876809590911739292749453754<br />
::::&nbsp;204805648947429624805240372<br />
::::&nbsp;063610402002291665084226895<br />
::::&nbsp;319645093032320902560159533<br />
::::&nbsp;476435080336069901902529093<br />
</font><br />
<br />
:[With Hairy gone, Black Hat has turned back and resumed working at his computer.]<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=693:_Children%27s_Fantasy&diff=380927693: Children's Fantasy2025-07-07T12:02:59Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 693<br />
| date = January 25, 2010<br />
| title = Children's Fantasy<br />
| image = childrens_fantasy.png<br />
| titletext = I was going to be a scientist, but that seems silly now. Magical worlds exist. I've learned a huge truth about our place in the universe. I'm supposed to care about college? I mean, FUCK.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
Children's fantasy stories such as {{w|The Chronicles of Narnia}} and {{w|The Phantom Tollbooth}} involve a kid who is magically transported out of their time to some fantastic realm, goes through trials and becomes a hero, and then is returned to their own mundane world at about the same time they left with no one else realizing or believing what happened to them. The growth of the protagonist often involves learning self-confidence.<br />
<br />
The comic illustrates this type of story and considers what the rest of the child's life would really be like as they reach adulthood. If they tell their friends, spouse, and family what happened to them, no one will believe them and these loved ones will think them a bit crazy. If they don't tell anyone, they are pretending that the episode never happened. Either way, it seems this would not be an enjoyable experience to live with for their entire adult life.<br />
<br />
The title text continues the thought by pointing out the impossibility of contributing anything to the scientific world after visiting a magical world, as the child would know many scientific baselines, and, indeed, most regularly practiced scientific theory to be false, but would be unable to say anything or convince anyone of what they knew.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Kid is sitting on the ground with his chin in his hand.]<br />
:Kid: I'm such a loser-<br />
:''POP''<br />
:[Princess sticks her head through a portal.]<br />
:Princess: Come quickly, young one!<br />
:Kid: Holy crap, a portal!<br />
:Princess: My kingdom needs you!<br />
<br />
:[He falls through.]<br />
:Kid: AAAAAA<br />
<br />
:[We see him on horseback, helmeted wielding a sword. There's a castle on the horizon and two moons in the sky. There are a few other riders as well.]<br />
<br />
:[Kid, with helmet and sword, stands before King, Princess, and another warrior. Princess is holding out a ring.]<br />
:King: You've saved our kingdom and found your self-confidence. Now it's time to return home. Goodbye, young hero!<br />
:Princess: Take this ring to remember us!<br />
<br />
:[Kid stands alone, holding the ring.]<br />
:Kid: Well, I guess I spend the rest of my life pretending that didn't happen or knowing that everyone I love suspects I'm crazy.<br />
:Kid: This'll be a fun 70 years.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Fiction]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1011:_Baby_Names&diff=3809261011: Baby Names2025-07-07T12:02:31Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 1011<br />
| date = February 1, 2012<br />
| title = Baby Names<br />
| image = baby names.png<br />
| titletext = I've been trying for a couple years now but I haven't been able to come up with a name dumber than 'Renesmee'.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
<br />
This comic is a list of comically terrible baby names invented by Randall. It may relate to his other comics about why he shouldn't be allowed to have access to babies.<br />
<br />
This is a list of the names with a short description:<br />
* Ponzi - An Italian surname, most often associated with "{{w|Ponzi scheme}}".<br />
* Eeemily - A corruption of "Emily". May also be a marketing plug for the {{w|Asus Eee}} brand.<br />
* Fire Fire - Even a single "Fire" would be odd as a name, at least in the American dialects. It would also not be a good idea to call your child's name in a crowded place.{{citation needed}} This name could also be the inverse of "Ice Ice", a common joke baby name referencing Ice Ice Baby.<br />
* Chipotla - A frequent mispronounciation of {{w|Chipotle|chipotle}} chili or the popular {{w|Chipotle Mexican Grill}} restaurant chain. Many people would readily attempt to correct you when you called your child's name. Possibly reads as a feminine version of ''chipotle''.<br />
* Astamouthe - Could be pronounced "{{w|Ass to mouth}}".<br />
* Eggsperm - A child is conceived by combining an egg and a sperm, this child's name is conceived by combining the names of the two things.<br />
* [sound of record scratch] - This cannot be spelled or reliably pronounced.{{Citation needed}} Likely a reference to any movie where a record scratch plays and the protagonist says "that's me".<br />
* Parsley - {{w|Parsley}} is an herb and is not commonly used as a name unlike other herbs like {{w|Rosemary}} and {{w|Sage}}. It is, however, probably the least terrible name on this list. <br />
* Hot'n'Juicy Ann - "Ann" is a normal name. Prefacing it with the sexual "Hot'n'Juicy" would not be appropriate for a child's name.<br />
* Ovari - Female reproductive organ, {{w|Ovary|misspelled}}.<br />
* Friendly - Odd enough on its own, but when referring to her possessions it would create confusion with the restaurant {{w|Friendly's}}. Can also be humorous in introductions - "Hi I'm Friendly and I hate you."<br />
* Sean (pronounced "seen") - While this isn't an incorrect pronunciation, the more common pronunciation would be "Shawn". Very likely a reference to the name of the actor Sean Bean (whose name is pronounced Shawn Been), which uses the exact same pairing of letters for two pronunciations. <br />
* Joyst - Corruption of "Joyce". May also refer to the term "joist", which is a beam used in construction to support ceilings or floors, or the first part of the word "joystick", a video game controller.<br />
<br />
A further analysis of baby names is presented by Randall in the [[Blag]] post "[http://blog.xkcd.com/2014/01/31/the-baby-name-wizard/ The Baby Name Wizard]".<br />
<br />
Renesmee (from the title text) is the name of {{w|Renesmee Cullen#Renesmee Cullen|Renesmee Cullen}}, who is the baby born in the book and movie {{w|Breaking Dawn}} to parents Edward and Bella. Edward and Bella get "Renesmee" from an amalgamation of the names of Bella's mother, Renée, and Edward's adoptive mother, Esme. [[Randall]]'s point is that all those names are terrible, but (arguably) not nearly as terrible as the name Renesmee.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk, thinking with his hand on his chin, his other hand holding a pen over a piece of paper. Megan stands behind him, looking over his shoulder, also with her hand on her chin.]<br />
<br />
:[Above the drawing is the list they are writing by hand.]<br />
<br />
:Names for daughter<br />
<br />
:# Ponzi<br />
:# Eeemily<br />
:# Fire Fire<br />
:# Chipotla<br />
:# Astamouthe<br />
:# Eggsperm<br />
:# [sound of record scratch]<br />
:# Parsley<br />
:# Hot'n'Juicy Ann<br />
:# Ovari<br />
:# Friendly<br />
:# Sean (pronounced "seen")<br />
:# Joyst<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
*Eemili is a real Finnish (man's) name, cognate to Aemilius/Emil in other European languages.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Comics with babies]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=674:_Natural_Parenting&diff=380925674: Natural Parenting2025-07-07T12:02:24Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 674<br />
| date = December 11, 2009<br />
| title = Natural Parenting<br />
| image = natural_parenting.png<br />
| titletext = On one hand, every single one of my ancestors going back billions of years has managed to figure it out. On the other hand, that's the mother of all sampling biases.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
This comic relates to the anxiety of having a first child, particularly an unplanned child, and is a play on the double meaning of the expression "do what comes naturally". <br />
<br />
Doing what comes naturally is a euphemism for couples pairing off and forming intimate relationships, including sex. It is also advice given to new parents, advising them not to second guess themselves so much, to alleviate the stress that comes with parenting.<br />
<br />
The couple [[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] find themselves as unexpected parents. Both parents experience anxiety over how to manage their life with the child. The new father defuses the situation and states that parenting can not be that hard and they should just do what comes naturally. Naturally the couple find themselves with a second child. This adds insult to injury as now they have two children and still no idea about how to parent. As the first child was an "accident" the birth of the child was because of instinctual urges. Therefore, assuming nothing has changed in their relationship it would be natural if they produced another child.<br />
<br />
The baby says, "Baby!", either copying Cueball, or saying its name Pokémon-style.<br />
<br />
The title text claims that parenting can't be too hard because, up to the present, all of your ancestors have produced an unbroken line of children who figured out how to raise at least one child that is able to continue this unbroken chain. [[Randall]] jokes that this is the "mother" of all {{w|sampling bias}}es: Had anyone of one's ancestors completely failed at being parents, that person would never exist. Therefore, this sampling is heavily skewed by sampling only those that were all successful in at least one instance. It does not take into account the number of people in the past who do not have any lineage today to speak of, or the number times our ancestors failed at being parents to children we are not directly descended from. Because a mother is a type of parent, the expression "''mother'' of all sampling biases" is also somewhat literal in this case because successful motherhood is part of what is being sampled.<br />
<br />
[[441: Babies]] and [[1384: Krypton]] also depict Cueball and Megan as people who should not be trusted with babies.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[Cueball and Megan are looking down at a baby, throwing its arms in the air, standing between them.]<br />
:Cueball: Oh man, we made a baby.<br />
:Megan: ''Don't panic. Don't panic.''<br />
:Baby: Baby!<br />
<br />
:[Cueball looks at Megan, who still look down at the baby, which now looks down at her feet.]<br />
:Cueball: Parenting can't be that hard. Let's just do what comes naturally.<br />
<br />
:[In a frame-less panel they all three just stand there, they look down and the baby has spread it's arms out. Beat frame.]<br />
<br />
:[A caption is in a frame at the top of the panel. Cueball and Megan are looking down between them. There are now two babies, one larger looking at Cueball's feet the smaller looking at Megan's feet.]<br />
:Soon:<br />
:Megan: Aw, crap.<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]<br />
[[Category:Comics with babies]]<br />
[[Category:Romance]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=911:_Magic_School_Bus&diff=380924911: Magic School Bus2025-07-07T12:02:17Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 911<br />
| date = June 13, 2011<br />
| title = Magic School Bus<br />
| image = magic school bus.png<br />
| titletext = At my OLD school, we used Microsoft Encarta 2005.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
''{{w|The Magic School Bus}}'' is a series of educational children's books in the US that was adapted in the mid-nineties into an animated {{w|television}} show. The series centers on a class of children whose teacher {{w|Ms. Frizzle}} makes use of the titular magic school bus to take her students on a variety of magical field trips that allow them to experience various scientific topics first hand, such as the inner anatomy of the human body, the effects of friction, what goes on inside a beehive, and many others.<br />
<br />
In this comic, however, Ms. Frizzle initially takes the students onto the bus apparently for one of these field trips to explore the way batteries work, but then for whatever reason, she has the students get off the bus again and simply resorts to looking up the {{w|Wikipedia}} article about {{w|Battery (electricity)|batteries}}. The implied joke is that, with the advent on resources like Wikipedia, it's no longer necessary for Ms. Frizzle to take the students on half-hour long trips in the bus to experience whatever phenomenon they are studying that day (which is what the third panel symbolizes) - Wikipedia effectively answers the question quickly and easily. An alternative answer is that Ms. Frizzle has just gotten lazy, and has resorted to looking up the answers to the students' questions on Wikipedia instead of taking them on field trips. The alternative seems more likely, since the third panel shows them still going on an adventure, however briefly it takes to get to the library/computer lab.<br />
<br />
The red and white checkered rocket in the bottom-right of the third panel can possibly be a reference to The Adventures of Tintin ''{{w|Destination Moon (comics)|Destination Moon}}'' and {{w|Explorers on the Moon}}, in which Tintin goes to the moon in a rocket that is similar, if not identical, to the one depicted. To the bottom-left is a green {{w|Ciliate}}, a single celled life-form covered in hair-like fibres. At the top right are a set of {{w|Planetary gears}}. To the top left is a ringed planet, perhaps {{w|Uranus}} and in the background is a complex {{w|Feynman diagram}}.<br />
<br />
The child who is asking the question looks similar to Wanda, one of the regular students in the class who often asked the questions that set the field trips in motion. Ralphie, the student in the second panel with the backward hat, was another student who often asked these questions. The students in the class were shown to be from many backgrounds (i.e. some of the students were black, another was Asian, etc.), something Randall appears not to have added into this comic, despite it being in color.<br />
<br />
The title text is a reference to Phoebe, one of the students in Ms. Frizzle's class, who would regularly make a remark beginning with "At my old school..." (Phoebe used to go to a different school, unlike many of the other students in the class) to express wonder at how unusual were the events of Ms. Frizzle's field trips (e.g. "At my old school, we never rode on bees!"). This was frequent enough for said school to literally mark itself as "Phoebe's Old School" in one episode.{{acn}}<br />
<br />
{{w|Encarta|Microsoft Encarta 2005}} was a digital encyclopedia that was often used in school settings for learning with the aid of computers. Arguably, with the advent of Wikipedia, programs like Encarta have become relatively less widely used, which is part of the joke in the title text.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
:[A girl sits at a desk in a classroom, and the teacher stands before her. The teacher has a blue dress and blonde hair piled on her head in a bun. The girl raises her hand, the teacher raises both arms above her head, a pointer in one hand.]<br />
:Girl: Ms. Frizzle, how do batteries work?<br />
:Ms. Frizzle: To the bus!<br />
<br />
:[Ms. Frizzle and the children are shown getting onto the bus.]<br />
<br />
:[The bus, with Ms. Frizzle at the helm and a child's face in every window, soars through a rainbow void filled with a giant amoeba, a rocket, an epicyclic gear, a planet with rings, and a Feynman diagram.]<br />
<br />
:[The bus is parked, and the occupants have gotten out. The children stand around Ms. Frizzle, and she stands at a desk with a computer on it, typing.]<br />
:Computer: Wikipedia - Batteries<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Comics with color]]<br />
[[Category:Wikipedia]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3101:_Good_Science&diff=3809233101: Good Science2025-07-07T11:59:39Z<p>Mushrooms: kids category era Mushrooms is back baby</p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3101<br />
| date = June 11, 2025<br />
| title = Good Science<br />
| image = good_science_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 387x833px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = If you think curiosity without rigor is bad, you should see rigor without curiosity.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|This page was created by a BOT VERY CURIOUS ABOUT XKCD. Don't remove this notice until the explanation below has the appropriate rigor.}}<br />
<br />
[[Miss Lenhart]] is teaching a class to [[Jill]] and a [[Cueball]]-like kid. Based on her opening statement "I'm supposed to give you the tools to do good science." this is likely a general class on the principles of science, although it could be the start of a class on a specific field of science such as biology or physics. Classes about the principles of science (i.e. the scientific method, or what makes "good science") are common at the very introductory level, such as middle school science classes that give young students a basic framework to understand science, and also at the very advanced level, where PhD students take classes on the philosophy and history of science with detailed examination of epistemology, metaphysics, logic and ontology to be able to understand how their research affects the world.<br />
<br />
However, Miss Lenhart explains that doing "good science" is hard, because research [https://www.discovermagazine.com/the-sciences/5-times-that-science-got-it-wrong often] [https://www.famousscientists.org/10-most-famous-scientific-theories-that-were-later-debunked/ produces] [https://www.siliconrepublic.com/innovation/scientific-theories-proven-wrong incorrect] {{w|List of experimental errors and frauds in physics|results}}. She wonders what are the key things she should teach her students so that their scientific inquiry ends up being successful. She lists a series of items that are commonly suggested as leading to successful research, such as collaboration or skepticism, and explains that she performed a {{w|regression analysis}} (a mathematical technique often used in science), to find out which were most important. She concludes that the two most crucial factors are genuine curiosity about the subject (which makes sense as something that would drive scientists to achieve good results) and {{w|ammonium hydroxide}}, a chemical which does see some {{w|Ammonia_solution#Laboratory_use|laboratory use}}, but it does not obviously relate significantly to achieving good results (although it's often used to clean laboratory equipment, so it is possible that regular or thorough cleaning of equipment reduces experimental error).{{Actual citation needed}}<br />
<br />
This may illustrate a potential problem with regression analyses caused by including too many predictor variables for the available data. This can cause random statistical noise in the sample to be interpreted as a meaningful effect.<br />
<br />
When Jill points out that ammonium hydroxide is a nonsensical factor, Miss Lenhart replies that Jill is doing good science. The joke is that including ammonium hydroxide was just a means to get Jill to question the results. It also suggests that skepticism is actually the second crucial factor after genuine curiosity, as being skeptical of ammonium hydroxide as an important factor led to Jill's newfound success as a scientist. Alternatively, because Jill is being curious about how ammonia got onto the list, she is performing good science by using both curiosity and ammonia.<br />
<br />
The title text addresses a common criticism in scientific circles that science is only good if it has rigor — that is, if it is well-documented and follows all of the proper procedure. It says that if curiosity without rigor is bad (in other words someone earnestly trying to figure out the answer, but doing it in a sloppy way) the opposite, rigor without curiosity, is much worse (a person who produces professional looking results but who doesn't care whether they are right or wrong). There are at least two issues with a scientist who is rigorous but uncurious. First is that, in the modern world, science has a very high social and cultural status, due to its incredible achievements over the past century and a half (from electric power to spaceflight to medical care). As a result, people tend to be very deferential to science, and the trappings of science (lab coats, clipboards, etc.) command respect. A rigorous but uncurious scientist could get people to believe more strongly in the wrong answer (for an example of how symbols like lab coats and clipboards can influence human behavior, see the {{w|Milgram experiment}}). Second, a rigorous scientist could become convinced of their performance because of their rigor, mistaking the outward process of science for science itself. In that case, beyond the initial wrong results due to their incuriosity, they could become resistant to changing their conclusions even when presented with decisive evidence to the contrary, sometimes to the point of suppressing other scientists who have reached the correct answer.<br />
<br />
Randall has previously suggested that rigor is not as important in science as some make it out to be, when discussing ''{{w|MythBusters}}'' (see [[397: Unscientific]]).<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}<br />
:[Miss Lenhart is standing in front of a whiteboard with some scribbles on it.]<br />
:Miss Lenhart: I'm supposed to give you the tools to do good science.<br />
<br />
:[Miss Lenhart is now standing in front of Jill and Cueball, who are seated at classroom desks.]<br />
:Miss Lenhart: But what '''''are''''' those tools?<br />
:Miss Lenhart: Methodology is hard and there are so many ways to get incorrect results.<br />
:Miss Lenhart: What is the magic ingredient that makes for good science?<br />
<br />
:[Miss Lenhart headshot.]<br />
:Miss Lenhart: To figure it out, I ran a regression with all the factors people say are important:<br />
:[A list, presented in a sub-panel that Miss Lenhart is pointing to:]<br />
:Outcome variable:<br />
::• correct scientific results<br />
:Predictors:<br />
::• collaboration<br />
::• skepticism of others' claims<br />
::• questioning your own beliefs<br />
::• trying to falsify hypotheses<br />
::• checking citations<br />
::• statistical rigor<br />
::• blinded analysis<br />
::• financial disclosure<br />
::• open data<br />
::[presumably the list goes on, as it runs off the visible part of the panel]<br />
<br />
:[Another Miss Lenhart headshot.]<br />
:Miss Lenhart: The regression says two ingredients are the most crucial:<br />
:1) genuine curiosity about the answer to a question, and<br />
:2) ammonium hydroxide<br />
<br />
:[Miss Lenhart, standing, and Jill, seated at desk]<br />
:Jill: Wait, why did '''''ammonia''''' score so high? How did it even get on the list?<br />
:Miss Lenhart: ...and now you're doing good science!<br />
<br />
{{comic discussion}}<noinclude><br />
<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]<br />
[[Category:Comics featuring Jill]]<br />
[[Category:Science]]<br />
[[Category:Kids]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Talk:3107:_Weather_Balloons&diff=380520Talk:3107: Weather Balloons2025-06-27T10:12:54Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div><!-- Please sign your posts with ~~~~ and don't delete this text. New comments should be added at the bottom. --><br />
If you could make weather balloons out of plastic grocery bags you could address global warming and plastic bag pollution at the same time. [[Special:Contributions/47.248.235.170|47.248.235.170]] 21:35, 25 June 2025 (UTC)Pat<br />
:You'd only delay those problems as weather balloons do have a life expectancy, just look at the problems the Myth Busters had with them when tackling Lawnchair Larry. [[Special:Contributions/2001:1C02:1A9D:9700:391C:7C6C:4E0A:AD94|2001:1C02:1A9D:9700:391C:7C6C:4E0A:AD94]] 23:21, 25 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
::It wouldn't be a plastic recycling method so much as a plastic distribution method. [[User:RegularSizedGuy|RegularSizedGuy]] ([[User talk:RegularSizedGuy|talk]]) 00:26, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
The current description is useful -- but the phrase "over time" is in error. The graph shows the relationship between the number of weather balloons and the accuracy of modelling: "time" is not a component. [[Special:Contributions/165.225.115.132|165.225.115.132]] 23:56, 25 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:I would say time is a component because the x axis is labeled number of weather balloons launched _per day_, therefore distributed through time, therefore time is part of the graph. [[Special:Contributions/179.217.229.235|179.217.229.235]] 06:54, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:The original complaint was neutered {{diff|380453|fairly soon after the observation was made}}, anyway, so no longer applies. Clearly you ''could'' progress through "number of balloons per day". Testing a given number one day, a larger number the next is an easy method (for as long as you wish to sustain that, and are able to). Or even just test for a few releases, one day, then immediately launch more (and test), then yet more (test again), all before the initial ones start to 'decay' out of the current count faster than you can add to them (any eventual backsliding, aside, that makes a timeward correlation to numbers currently aloft).<br />
:But, truly, you could scattergun the effect. Today, launch 1. Tomorrow launch 1 trillion. The day after, try 4000. The day after that, try 4000 ''again'' (just because), or 1 or 400 or 1 trillion or 18 trillion or 42 (or none) — whatever is you desire and within your capability (including maybe preventing other potential launchings from others, to ensure a sufficiently supressed daily figure).<br />
:Anyway, though time 'features', insofar as daily counts (and, as a hidden variable, the matter of balloon longevity, which could change things drastically if prior ones did ''not'' actually vanish between one day and the next but actually permanently accumulated), "over time" is no longer mentioned (whoever rewrote that bit). [[Special:Contributions/82.132.245.112|82.132.245.112]] 09:58, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:Global helium reserves are currently estimated to be around 40 billion cubic meters (source Google), so you run out of helium well before the balloons have a significant effect. Since the majority of it gets used for cooling cryogenic systems in hospitals that is going to become a serious health issue - it's already happened a couple of times as old reserves were depleted, the industry found some new sources but they are running out of places to look. [[User:MarcusRowland|MarcusRowland]] ([[User talk:MarcusRowland|talk]]) 10:07, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
::If we were launching massive quantities of balloons we could use hydrogen instead which is very abundant (yes, it is dangerous, but on the plus side has more lift). Or even argon (18 atomic weight, so it should have some lift) or methane (16 molecular weight) [[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]]) 11:37, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:::Hydrogen's teeny molecules would leak out of the balloons much faster than helium - when I was an educational lab technician we always had to fill hydrogen balloons just before using them because they deflated very quickly. It's also an indirect greenhouse gas so releasing vast quantities into the atmosphere may not be a good idea. Incidentally, has anyone done the sums on how many weather balloons would actually fit into the volume of the earth's atmosphere? --[[User:MarcusRowland|MarcusRowland]] ([[User talk:MarcusRowland|talk]]) 14:56, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:::Oops, 18 is argon's atomic number, the mass of (terrestrial) argon is ~40, so it sinks in air. Neon (isotopes 20 and 22) would work somewhat, but is not abundant like argon, so probably not a good idea.[[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]])<br />
::::Yes, Argon is a classic gas (with others - an extreme example is tungsten hexafluoride!) for filling a balloon that's ''unusually heavy''. Also escapes from the balloon much less, if you find that useful. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.244.48|82.132.244.48]] 19:00, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
Honestly I feel like this one is a thinly veiled joke about LLMs: As they grow bigger with more data to work with, they tend to get better, but the improvements require exponential data, so benefits wear off, until the internet gets so polluted with AI slop (like the atmosphere gets covered in balloons), that the quality of results of any future AI venture plummets, and training new models becomes impossible. [[User:mlerp|mlerp]] ([[User talk:mlerp|talk]])<br />
<br />
How many weather balloons ''are'' launched per day? Seems relevant. --[[User:Mushrooms|Mushrooms]] ([[User talk:Mushrooms|talk]]) 10:10, 27 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:Okay, a lot easier number to find than I thought. Estimates range from 900-1300, which matches the comic pretty well. --[[User:Mushrooms|Mushrooms]] ([[User talk:Mushrooms|talk]]) 10:12, 27 June 2025 (UTC)</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Talk:3107:_Weather_Balloons&diff=380519Talk:3107: Weather Balloons2025-06-27T10:10:30Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div><!-- Please sign your posts with ~~~~ and don't delete this text. New comments should be added at the bottom. --><br />
If you could make weather balloons out of plastic grocery bags you could address global warming and plastic bag pollution at the same time. [[Special:Contributions/47.248.235.170|47.248.235.170]] 21:35, 25 June 2025 (UTC)Pat<br />
:You'd only delay those problems as weather balloons do have a life expectancy, just look at the problems the Myth Busters had with them when tackling Lawnchair Larry. [[Special:Contributions/2001:1C02:1A9D:9700:391C:7C6C:4E0A:AD94|2001:1C02:1A9D:9700:391C:7C6C:4E0A:AD94]] 23:21, 25 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
::It wouldn't be a plastic recycling method so much as a plastic distribution method. [[User:RegularSizedGuy|RegularSizedGuy]] ([[User talk:RegularSizedGuy|talk]]) 00:26, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
The current description is useful -- but the phrase "over time" is in error. The graph shows the relationship between the number of weather balloons and the accuracy of modelling: "time" is not a component. [[Special:Contributions/165.225.115.132|165.225.115.132]] 23:56, 25 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:I would say time is a component because the x axis is labeled number of weather balloons launched _per day_, therefore distributed through time, therefore time is part of the graph. [[Special:Contributions/179.217.229.235|179.217.229.235]] 06:54, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:The original complaint was neutered {{diff|380453|fairly soon after the observation was made}}, anyway, so no longer applies. Clearly you ''could'' progress through "number of balloons per day". Testing a given number one day, a larger number the next is an easy method (for as long as you wish to sustain that, and are able to). Or even just test for a few releases, one day, then immediately launch more (and test), then yet more (test again), all before the initial ones start to 'decay' out of the current count faster than you can add to them (any eventual backsliding, aside, that makes a timeward correlation to numbers currently aloft).<br />
:But, truly, you could scattergun the effect. Today, launch 1. Tomorrow launch 1 trillion. The day after, try 4000. The day after that, try 4000 ''again'' (just because), or 1 or 400 or 1 trillion or 18 trillion or 42 (or none) — whatever is you desire and within your capability (including maybe preventing other potential launchings from others, to ensure a sufficiently supressed daily figure).<br />
:Anyway, though time 'features', insofar as daily counts (and, as a hidden variable, the matter of balloon longevity, which could change things drastically if prior ones did ''not'' actually vanish between one day and the next but actually permanently accumulated), "over time" is no longer mentioned (whoever rewrote that bit). [[Special:Contributions/82.132.245.112|82.132.245.112]] 09:58, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:Global helium reserves are currently estimated to be around 40 billion cubic meters (source Google), so you run out of helium well before the balloons have a significant effect. Since the majority of it gets used for cooling cryogenic systems in hospitals that is going to become a serious health issue - it's already happened a couple of times as old reserves were depleted, the industry found some new sources but they are running out of places to look. [[User:MarcusRowland|MarcusRowland]] ([[User talk:MarcusRowland|talk]]) 10:07, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
::If we were launching massive quantities of balloons we could use hydrogen instead which is very abundant (yes, it is dangerous, but on the plus side has more lift). Or even argon (18 atomic weight, so it should have some lift) or methane (16 molecular weight) [[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]]) 11:37, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:::Hydrogen's teeny molecules would leak out of the balloons much faster than helium - when I was an educational lab technician we always had to fill hydrogen balloons just before using them because they deflated very quickly. It's also an indirect greenhouse gas so releasing vast quantities into the atmosphere may not be a good idea. Incidentally, has anyone done the sums on how many weather balloons would actually fit into the volume of the earth's atmosphere? --[[User:MarcusRowland|MarcusRowland]] ([[User talk:MarcusRowland|talk]]) 14:56, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:::Oops, 18 is argon's atomic number, the mass of (terrestrial) argon is ~40, so it sinks in air. Neon (isotopes 20 and 22) would work somewhat, but is not abundant like argon, so probably not a good idea.[[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]])<br />
::::Yes, Argon is a classic gas (with others - an extreme example is tungsten hexafluoride!) for filling a balloon that's ''unusually heavy''. Also escapes from the balloon much less, if you find that useful. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.244.48|82.132.244.48]] 19:00, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
Honestly I feel like this one is a thinly veiled joke about LLMs: As they grow bigger with more data to work with, they tend to get better, but the improvements require exponential data, so benefits wear off, until the internet gets so polluted with AI slop (like the atmosphere gets covered in balloons), that the quality of results of any future AI venture plummets, and training new models becomes impossible. [[User:mlerp|mlerp]] ([[User talk:mlerp|talk]])<br />
<br />
How many weather balloons ''are'' launched per day? Seems relevant. --[[User:Mushrooms|Mushrooms]] ([[User talk:Mushrooms|talk]]) 10:10, 27 June 2025 (UTC)</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Talk:3107:_Weather_Balloons&diff=380518Talk:3107: Weather Balloons2025-06-27T10:10:11Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div><!-- Please sign your posts with ~~~~ and don't delete this text. New comments should be added at the bottom. --><br />
If you could make weather balloons out of plastic grocery bags you could address global warming and plastic bag pollution at the same time. [[Special:Contributions/47.248.235.170|47.248.235.170]] 21:35, 25 June 2025 (UTC)Pat<br />
:You'd only delay those problems as weather balloons do have a life expectancy, just look at the problems the Myth Busters had with them when tackling Lawnchair Larry. [[Special:Contributions/2001:1C02:1A9D:9700:391C:7C6C:4E0A:AD94|2001:1C02:1A9D:9700:391C:7C6C:4E0A:AD94]] 23:21, 25 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
::It wouldn't be a plastic recycling method so much as a plastic distribution method. [[User:RegularSizedGuy|RegularSizedGuy]] ([[User talk:RegularSizedGuy|talk]]) 00:26, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
The current description is useful -- but the phrase "over time" is in error. The graph shows the relationship between the number of weather balloons and the accuracy of modelling: "time" is not a component. [[Special:Contributions/165.225.115.132|165.225.115.132]] 23:56, 25 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:I would say time is a component because the x axis is labeled number of weather balloons launched _per day_, therefore distributed through time, therefore time is part of the graph. [[Special:Contributions/179.217.229.235|179.217.229.235]] 06:54, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:The original complaint was neutered {{diff|380453|fairly soon after the observation was made}}, anyway, so no longer applies. Clearly you ''could'' progress through "number of balloons per day". Testing a given number one day, a larger number the next is an easy method (for as long as you wish to sustain that, and are able to). Or even just test for a few releases, one day, then immediately launch more (and test), then yet more (test again), all before the initial ones start to 'decay' out of the current count faster than you can add to them (any eventual backsliding, aside, that makes a timeward correlation to numbers currently aloft).<br />
:But, truly, you could scattergun the effect. Today, launch 1. Tomorrow launch 1 trillion. The day after, try 4000. The day after that, try 4000 ''again'' (just because), or 1 or 400 or 1 trillion or 18 trillion or 42 (or none) — whatever is you desire and within your capability (including maybe preventing other potential launchings from others, to ensure a sufficiently supressed daily figure).<br />
:Anyway, though time 'features', insofar as daily counts (and, as a hidden variable, the matter of balloon longevity, which could change things drastically if prior ones did ''not'' actually vanish between one day and the next but actually permanently accumulated), "over time" is no longer mentioned (whoever rewrote that bit). [[Special:Contributions/82.132.245.112|82.132.245.112]] 09:58, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:Global helium reserves are currently estimated to be around 40 billion cubic meters (source Google), so you run out of helium well before the balloons have a significant effect. Since the majority of it gets used for cooling cryogenic systems in hospitals that is going to become a serious health issue - it's already happened a couple of times as old reserves were depleted, the industry found some new sources but they are running out of places to look. [[User:MarcusRowland|MarcusRowland]] ([[User talk:MarcusRowland|talk]]) 10:07, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
::If we were launching massive quantities of balloons we could use hydrogen instead which is very abundant (yes, it is dangerous, but on the plus side has more lift). Or even argon (18 atomic weight, so it should have some lift) or methane (16 molecular weight) [[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]]) 11:37, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:::Hydrogen's teeny molecules would leak out of the balloons much faster than helium - when I was an educational lab technician we always had to fill hydrogen balloons just before using them because they deflated very quickly. It's also an indirect greenhouse gas so releasing vast quantities into the atmosphere may not be a good idea. Incidentally, has anyone done the sums on how many weather balloons would actually fit into the volume of the earth's atmosphere? --[[User:MarcusRowland|MarcusRowland]] ([[User talk:MarcusRowland|talk]]) 14:56, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
:::Oops, 18 is argon's atomic number, the mass of (terrestrial) argon is ~40, so it sinks in air. Neon (isotopes 20 and 22) would work somewhat, but is not abundant like argon, so probably not a good idea.[[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]])<br />
::::Yes, Argon is a classic gas (with others - an extreme example is tungsten hexafluoride!) for filling a balloon that's ''unusually heavy''. Also escapes from the balloon much less, if you find that useful. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.244.48|82.132.244.48]] 19:00, 26 June 2025 (UTC)<br />
Honestly I feel like this one is a thinly veiled joke about LLMs: As they grow bigger with more data to work with, they tend to get better, but the improvements require exponential data, so benefits wear off, until the internet gets so polluted with AI slop (like the atmosphere gets covered in balloons), that the quality of results of any future AI venture plummets, and training new models becomes impossible. [[User:mlerp|mlerp]] ([[User talk:mlerp|talk]])<br />
<br />
How many weather balloons ''are'' launched per day? Seems relevant.</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=what_if%3F_articles&diff=377545what if? articles2025-05-12T12:27:20Z<p>Mushrooms: oops formatting fail</p>
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<div><noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''What If?'' chapters}}:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''</noinclude><br />
==Article index==<br />
<big>Thanks to a TON of work by [[Talk:What If? chapters|so many people]], the ''what if?'' index has been [[What If? chapters#bottom|completely rebuilt]]! But we still need to finish a few things:</big><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color:#ffc7c7;"><span style="color:red; font-size:1.4em;">'''&nbsp;'''</span><big>&nbsp;'''Things left to do:&nbsp;'''</big></span>&nbsp; ''(If you need help editing the table, check out the '''''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]'''''! It includes a simple summary of the templates' documentations.)''<br />
<br />
*'''We mostly only need to work on the explanations now!''' Add them for the articles that don't have one and improve the existing ones (they should be a summary of the answer, not just 1-2 sentences).<br />
*Need to finish explaining the exclusive chapters in the ''What If?'' books! [[#162|Click here to jump to the book-exclusive chapters]].<br />
<br />
<br />
<!--<div style="display:none;">__TOC__</div>-->This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. For each article, the original question and a summary of Randall's answer are provided. If an article is available on the blog, you can click the title to read it in full. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive articles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive archive section] of the blog.<noinclude><br />
[[Category:Incomplete explanations| ]]{{notice|<u>The incomplete answers below will look like this.</u> <br>There are about '''32''' incomplete explanations below, and [[#162|many more are missing]]!}}<br />
</noinclude><br />
{| class="sortable wikitable"<br />
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail<br />
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title<br />
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Reader's question<br />
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Randall's answer<br />
! colspan="3"| Article available in... <noinclude><!--</noinclude><span style="background-color:#FFFF00;"><noinclude>--></noinclude>&nbsp;''(click to sort)''&nbsp;<noinclude><!--</noinclude></span><noinclude>--></noinclude><br />
|-<br />
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog<br />
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books<br />
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ellen McManis</div><br />
|The ball would create plasma and reach home plate in about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.<br />
|{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}<br />
|{{book|1|2}}<br />
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|2|SAT Guessing}}'''<br />
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rob Balder</div><br />
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every ex-living president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day.<br />
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}<br />
|{{book|1|66}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|3|Yoda}}'''<br />
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ryan Finnie</div><br />
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.<br />
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}<br />
|{{book|1|32}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sean Rice</div><br />
|In physics, a {{w|mole (unit)|mole}} is a number that equals approximately 6.022 × 10<sup>23</sup>. If this amount of moles (the furry animals) were put in space, they would form a sphere a little bit larger than our Moon with about the same gravity as Pluto. The surface would freeze and trap the interior warmth, causing geysers of hot meat and methane.<br />
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}<br />
|{{book|1|10}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''<br />
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rob Lombino</div><br />
|Humanity would most likely survive. Most robots can easily be subdued because technology hasn’t been developed enough to allow them to walk, evade being destroyed, and kill us efficiently. They could decide to use our nuclear weapons, but that would hurt them more than us.<br />
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''<br />
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Vittorio Iacovella</div><br />
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.<br />
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}<br />
|{{book|1|26}}<br />
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|7|Everybody Out}}'''<br />
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Adam</div><br />
|No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind. The best way to do it is either with a space tether or to ride the shockwave of a nuclear bomb, but the former lacks a good material and the latter is literally ''riding the shockwave of a nuclear bomb''. In any case, highly impractical.<br />
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}<br />
|{{book|1|35}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|8|Everybody Jump}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Thomas Bennett (and many others)</div><br />
|Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out due to everyone trying to get home at the same time.<br />
|{{blog|8|2012|08|21}}<br />
|{{book|1|9}}<br />
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|9|Soul Mates}}'''<br />
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Benjamin Staffin</div><br />
|Almost nobody would find their soul mate, so most people would probably fake love, due to the difficult nature of finding true love and staying with someone.<br />
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}<br />
|{{book|1|6}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|10|Cassini}}'''<br />
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Socke</div><br />
|Hard to tell with any sort of certainty, but North America remains the same (just flipped, so Canada is tropical), South America becomes more like Europe before this question, Asia is flipped just like North America was, Europe becomes more like southeast Asia, Africa's climate is essentially rotated 90 degrees and East Africa gets a lot more tornadoes, Australia is colder and wetter, and Antarctica becomes a tropical rainforest. Of course, the biosphere collapses due to the shuffling and the ice caps (prematurely) melt, while also making certain wildlife appear elsewhere than normal.<br />
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}<br />
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|{{book|23|2025|04|01|WH4g1ptJ-70|What if the Earth rotated 90 degrees?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|11|Droppings}}'''<br />
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Adrienne Olson</div><br />
|{{notice|I'm assuming the last sentence of this is saying: "if you're under a tree → a few hours. If not → much much more than 195 yrs." Needs to be explained better.}}Assuming an even distribution of all birds across the Earth's surface and an hourly pooping frequency, it would take you about 195 years. However, those assumptions are unrealistic: it'd probably be more likely a matter of hours if you were laying under a tree or something.<br />
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|12|Raindrop}}'''<br />
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael McNeill</div><br />
|The surrounding area would be obliterated via the violent rush of crushing water, causing flash flooding in the surrounding area. There would be mass confusion for many following years.<br />
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}<br />
|{{book|1|65}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|13|Laser Pointer}}'''<br />
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Peter Lipowicz</div><br />
|It would take lots of power, but yes, assuming you want to drain the Earth's oil and cover Asia in megawatt lasers. Going even further in power level fries the Earth and launches the Moon into the solar system.<br />
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}<br />
|{{book|1|7}}<br />
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]<br />
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|14|Short Answer Section}}'''<br />
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Austin Dickey</div><br />
|The Sun would actually burn brighter due to water being mostly hydrogen (main fusion fuel of stars) and eventually become a black hole with all the mass of the water.<br />
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}<br />
| rowspan="7" |<br />
| rowspan="7" |<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Chase Montgomery</div><br />
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jimmy Morey</div><br />
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.<br />
|-<br />
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Aidan Blake</div><br />
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.<br />
|-<br />
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Yitzi Turniansky</div><br />
|The {{w|Doppler Effect}} is when waves (such as light or sound) change based on movement or position. You would need to go about one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jake G.</div><br />
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.<br />
|-<br />
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''<br />
<div align="right">—R. D.</div><br />
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''<br />
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Evin Sellin</div><br />
|Surprisingly, not much! Large waves already disappear quickly when created by surface explosions, and moving the detonation underwater only lessens the effect. If you exploded a Tsar Bomba at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the resulting eruption would create massive bubbles before turning into warm water and debris. <br />
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}<br />
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| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]<br />
| rowspan="6" |'''{{What If|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''<br />
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jay Gengelbach</div><br />
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.<br />
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}<br />
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|19|Lightning}}<br />
| rowspan="6" |<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Same3Chords</div><br />
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Soobnauce</div><br />
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Danny Wedul</div><br />
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up. These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Timothy Campbell</div><br />
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''<br />
<div align="right">—NJSG</div><br />
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|17|Green Cows}}'''<br />
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|They would need 4% less food. There simply isn't enough area on the cow for photosynthesis to provide all its energy requirements.<br />
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}<br />
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|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|18|BB Gun}}'''<br />
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Charles James O'Keefe</div><br />
|100,000 shooters distributed over 2 kilometers of track, each firing a few dozen rounds as the train comes near them.<br />
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}<br />
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|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|19|Tie Vote}}'''<br />
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nate Silver (<span class="plainlinks">[https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/154434288287363072 '''Twitter, January 4th, 2012''']</span>)</div><br />
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.<br />
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}<br />
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|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|20|Diamond}}'''<br />
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Aidan Smith, Age 8, via his father Jeff</div><br />
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the {{w|Oh-My-God particle}}), the Earth would explode with enough force to obliterate the entire Solar System.<br />
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}<br />
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|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''<br />
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rob B</div><br />
|You'd need a Russian 30 mm rotary cannon to do it optimally, and the excessive force would definitely hurt you. If you braced the rider, created an aerodynamic craft strong enough to survive the acceleration, and cooled the craft, you'd be able to jump mountains.<br />
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}<br />
|{{book|1|14|Machine-Gun Jetpack}}<br />
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|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''<br />
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Leto Atreides</div><br />
|140,000 miles if gas was the only cost involved. The exercise of picking up the penny can prolong your lifespan, but you've wasted valuable seconds reading this article.<br />
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}<br />
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| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]<br />
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''<br />
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Derek O’Brien</div><br />
| You'd make 200 million dollars a year, so no.<br />
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}<br />
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}<br />
| rowspan="7" |<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rupert Bainbridge (and hundreds of others)</div><br />
|No. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has [https://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd-faq/#hurricane-mitigation:~:text=Stop%20a%20Hurricane%3F-,Nuclear%20Weapons,-Adding%20Hygroscopic%20Particles has published a response] explaining why it wouldn't work.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Damien</div><br />
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Seamus Johnson</div><br />
|About 24 characters.<br />
|-<br />
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David Nai</div><br />
|You'd have to bike at 200 m/s, but you'd fry alive from overexerting your body.<br />
|-<br />
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Max L</div><br />
|Using humanity's total produced storage space from the last few years as an upper bound, and assuming 3.5" drives, the Internet is less than the size of an oil tank.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Chad Macziewski</div><br />
|Aerodynamics aside, you'd have a bomb that comes back if you miss.<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|24|Model Rockets}}'''<br />
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Greg Schock, PA</div><br />
|It would take about 65,000, but they’d have to be layered in a cone shape with about 30 stages so the vehicle has thrust for long enough. It could carry 60 kg, much of that spent on all the parts of the rocket that aren't the engine.<br />
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}<br />
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|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|25|Three Wise Men}}'''<br />
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''<br />
<div align="right">—N. Murdoch</div><br />
|No, but the paths they would take would make some really cool patterns due to various factors, such as the Earth's rotation and its position changing in its orbit around the Sun.<br />
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}<br />
|<br />
|{{book|22|2025|03|04|YL2VNtus4xk|What if the wise men kept walking after Jesus’s birth?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|26|Leap Seconds}}'''<br />
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anton (Berlin, Germany)</div><br />
|The only real way to do this is by hitting Earth with asteroids; all other ideas would be too difficult or wouldn’t work. With 50,000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds (mostly because it would deliver the energy of about one dinosaur-killer asteroid every couple days, wiping out life on Earth quite quickly)<br />
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|27|Death Rates}}'''<br />
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Guy Petzall</div><br />
|The world population would continue to grow, though 40% more slowly. Pilots, drivers, and surgeons would die en route and mid-operation, but these would be comparable to usual accident rates and handled fairly easily.<br />
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|28|Steak Drop}}'''<br />
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alex Lahey</div><br />
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked, as the steak will have to pass through parts of the atmosphere that are freezing cold and the parts of the fall where heat is being applied are more likely to char and disintegrate the steak than cook it.<br />
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}<br />
|{{book|1|23}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''<br />
|''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jonathan Bastien-Filiatrault</div><br />
|As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool, as the guards would notice and shoot you to death.<br />
|{{blog|29|2013|01|22}}<br />
|{{book|1|3}}<br />
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Glen Chiacchieri</div><br />
|It would be difficult to fly on Mars, so you would crash. The gas giants also have this problem, and you would freeze and tumble. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold and Venus is full of sulfuric acid.<br />
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}<br />
|{{book|1|30}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''<br />
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Johan Öbrink</div><br />
|Probably never, unless the Internet's transfer rate grows faster than storage rates, the Internet won't surpass an army of FedEx trucks. However, the ping times would be ''absurd''.<br />
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}<br />
|{{book|1|44}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|32|Hubble}}'''<br />
|''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kyle Rankin</div><br />
|Very blurry because Hubble isn't able to rotate fast enough to track it on the surface of the Earth. Hubble is the wrong tool for the job, you're thinking of a spy satellite.<br />
|{{blog|32|2013|02|12}}<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|33|Ships}}'''<br />
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Toje</div><br />
|The sea level would fall by about 6 microns, slightly more than the diameter of a strand of spider silk. However, since the oceans are currently rising at about 3.3 millimeters per year due to global warming, the water would be back up to its original average level in 16 hours.<br />
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|34|Twitter}}'''<br />
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Eric H., Hopatcong, NJ</div><br />
|Since there are 2 * 10<sup>46</sup> meaningful English tweets, reading them all would take 10,000 "eternal years", with an eternal day being the length of time needed to wear down a mountain if a bird scraped 1 grain every thousand years.<br />
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}<br />
|{{book|1|50}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|35|Hair Dryer}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nathan Terrell</div><br />
|The box would heat until the ground starts melting, and going further, it would eventually create updrafts and bounce around everywhere. Turning it off and on again would launch it out of the sky in glowing fury.<br />
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}<br />
|{{book|1|11}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|36|Cornstarch}}'''<br />
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anna R., Fort Wayne, IN</div><br />
|It depends what you consider unpleasant. Your sink will clog and your house will flood with oobleck, but if you really really like cornstarch then nothing unpleasant will happen.<br />
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''<br />
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tim Currie</div><br />
|Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes. Although you’d only get it supersonic for less than a second, and the music would be heavily compressed after the sonic boom.<br />
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|38|Voyager}}'''<br />
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Elliot Bennett</div><br />
|You could ''reach'' Voyager I with some well-timed gravity assists from Jupiter and Saturn, but getting back would require an ''absurd'' amount of fuel. You could use ion fields to require less fuel, but they also produce less thrust.<br />
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|39|Hockey Puck}}'''<br />
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tom</div><br />
|This can't really happen, due to the size and weight difference between the goalie and a hockey puck. You'd need to fire an object at Mach 8 to knock the goalie back, but firing a puck at that speed would char the puck while air resistance would slow it down. If you actually did fire a hockey puck at a goalie at high speeds, it would have the same effect as hitting a cake with a tomato as hard as you can.<br />
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}<br />
|{{book|1|24}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''<br />
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Delphine Lourtau</div><br />
|Ordinarily, the worst that can happen is the lid blowing off and superheated liquid spraying everywhere, but you can use one to make {{w|Dioxygen difluoride}}, which is much worse.<br />
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|41|Go West}}'''<br />
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Derek</div><br />
|No. While technically the car fleet would outpace the continental drift, the continental drift is being powered by the forces in the Earth's mantle, and these forces outmatch the car fleet by millions of times.<br />
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|42|Longest Sunset}}'''<br />
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Berg</div><br />
|The longest way you can experience a sunset is by driving on certain roads in Norway and Finland for 95 minutes, as this is where the best method to outpace the Sun works (outpacing {{w|Terminator (solar)|the terminator}}). A similar concept has been explored in comic [[162: Angular Momentum]].<br />
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}<br />
|{{book|1|52}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|43|Train Loop}}'''<br />
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Gero Walter</div><br />
|Even if we change the requirements to just the passengers surviving, this isn't plausible. A train can't complete a full loop without the loop being too small, making the train move too fast and making every passenger die from the g-forces involved.<br />
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|44|High Throw}}'''<br />
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Irish Dave on the Isle of Man</div><br />
|Using estimations and aerodynamics calculations, Aroldis Champman (holder of the record for fastest pitch) could probably throw up to 16 giraffes high if he was using a golf ball. Unless you count letting go of balloons, of course.<br />
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}<br />
|{{book|1|38}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|45|ISS Music Video}}'''<br />
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Various Yout<!-- don't change it, that's how it's written on the site -->ube commenters</div><br />
|No. If the construction cost of the setpiece is how this is measured, then it would be U2's "Last Night on Earth" on a section of Interstate Highway. If not, then it doesn't even come close to Thriller.<br />
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|46|Bowling Ball}}'''<br />
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Seth C.</div><br />
|A bowling ball the size of the Earth would be much less dense, and have much less gravity. Due to this, the finger holes would collapse. causing eruptions of hydrocarbons and scars similar to those on the Moon.<br />
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''<br />
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Chuck H.</div><br />
|They wouldn't be able to see us very well. Radio waves fade quickly in space and we've stopped sending out as many of them. If they happened to pick up, they would only get a message similar to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal Wow! Signal]. The best message they could see is visible light, as the water and weather on Earth's surface would be a telltale marker of some form of life.<br />
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}<br />
|{{book|1|28}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''<br />
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kurt Amundson</div><br />
|If the British Empire kept the borders it had when the question was written, it would continue to experience eternal sunshine for many thousands of years until a total eclipse hits the Pitcairn Islands at the right time. However, after the publication of this article, it has been announced that [https://www.mondayeconomist.com/p/british-empire#:~:text=On%20March%2021st%2C%202025%2C%20a,part%20of%20the%20British%20Empire the British Indian Ocean Territory will become part of Mauritus] in March 2025, allowing the Sun to finally set on the British Empire.<br />
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}<br />
|{{book|1|60}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|49|Sunless Earth}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Many, many readers</div><br />
|We would see a variety of benefits across our lives such as the elimination of time zones, more reliable satellites, easier astronomy, and safer wild parsnip, but the downside is we would all freeze and die.<br />
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}<br />
|{{book|1|57}}<br />
|{{book|24|2025|04|15|X7sbn9LMZOg| What if the sun suddenly went out?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|50|Extreme Boating}}'''<br />
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nicholas Aron</div><br />
|It would be difficult to row the boat on mercury because it's very dense. Bromine smells terrible and is highly toxic. Gallium would dissolve an aluminium boat. Liquid tungsten would incinerate you instantly. Liquid nitrogen would kill you either by suffocation or hypothermia. Liquid helium's superfluid properties would sink your boat, but at least you'd hear the “third sound” as you die.<br />
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|51|Free Fall}}'''<br />
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dhash Shrivathsa</div><br />
|It takes 26 seconds to fall from the top of {{w|Mount Thor}} into a pit of cotton candy at the bottom of the cliff. The record for the longest wingsuit glide is enough time for Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi to eat 45 hot dogs.<br />
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}<br />
|{{book|1|45}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''<br />
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ginger Bread</div><br />
|Around 3,000,000 balls. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.<br />
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''<br />
|''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ted M.</div><br />
|Hundreds of thousands of years, so you'll need a bigger portal. As their basins are cut off, many shallow seas and a few deep trenches remain, leaving much of Earth still covered with water. Massive, unpredictable environmental changes would probably wipe out mankind. If they didn't, the Dutch would take over the world, no longer preoccupied with preventing their lands from flooding as they are now.<br />
|{{blog|53|2013|07|09}}<br />
|{{book|1|48}}<br />
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''<br />
|''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Iain</div><br />
|The water would fill the {{w|Valles Marineris}}, eventually leaving only {{w|Olympus Mons}} and some other small islands. The sea would ultimately freeze over, become covered in dust, and migrate to permafrost at the poles. In the meantime, the Netherlands would colonize Mars through the portal. The video additionally mentions that the greenhouse gas effects caused by all the new water might keep Mars's oceans liquid.<br />
|{{blog|54|2013|07|16}}<br />
|{{book|1|49}}<br />
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''<br />
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''<br />
<div align="right">—Mimi</div><br />
|The chances they just sneezed are 1 in 40000. There's also a 1 in a billion chance that the person you called just murdered someone, a 1 in 10 trillion chance they've just been killed by lightning, and another 1 in 10 trillion chance that you and the other person called each other simultaneously. <br />
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}<br />
|{{book|1|53}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''<br />
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Connor Childerhose</div><br />
|A steel cable an inch thick, the lines of an army of fishermen, or the hair of 20 people. Hair has the highest tensile strength of any material in your body.<br />
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''<br />
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—John-Clark Levin</div><br />
|An inch or a foot wouldn't do much, it would only feel like a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Dropped from its own height, Denali would cause a magnitude 7 earthquake and crush coal to diamonds. Dropped from space, that's just a large asteroid and it would cause an impact winter.<br />
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}<br />
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|-<br />
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]<br />
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|58|Orbital Speed}}'''<br />
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brian</div><br />
| rowspan="3" |No, because you need to go 8 km/s to stay in orbit, and it would take impossible amounts of fuel to slow down.<br />
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}<br />
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
|-<br />
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Christopher Mallow</div><br />
|-<br />
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kenny Van de Maele</div><br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''<br />
|''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Susanne Könings</div><br />
|You'd need six printers, but if using an ink printer, costs would rack up to $500,000 a month, dwarfing paper and maintenance costs. You'd need to file away past versions in case they were reverted (restored), which would be a nightmare.<br />
|{{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}<br />
|{{book|1|58}}<br />
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|60|Signs of Life}}'''<br />
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Borislav Stanimirov</div><br />
|70% of the time you would end up in the ocean, while most of the rest will be somewhere uninhabited. But if it’s night, you can see satellites just by looking up.<br />
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|61|Speed Bump}}'''<br />
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Myrlin Barber</div><br />
|At highway speeds, you could wreck your tires and suspension. Around 150-300 mph, the aerodynamics of a typical sedan will cause it to flip and crash before even reaching the speed bump. At 90% the speed of light, you could face a billion-dollar speeding ticket.<br />
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}<br />
|{{book|1|41}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|62|Falling With Helium}}'''<br />
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Colin Rowe</div><br />
|You would need a balloon at least 10 to 20 meters across to slow your fall, as well as needing 10 helium tanks that are 250 cubic feet. You'd have to do it really quickly though, and starting from a higher place will not help due to the atmosphere's thinness making you accelerate.<br />
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}<br />
|{{book|1|34}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''<br />
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—James Zetlin</div><br />
|Using electric consumption and datacenter spending as a measuring stick, Google probably has around 1-2 million servers, which equates to around 15 exabytes (or 15,000,000,000,000,000,000 bytes). Assuming a punch card holds 80 characters, all of that data comes out to 4.5 kilometers/2.8 miles, 3x deeper than the New England ice sheets.<br />
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|64|Rising Steadily}}'''<br />
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rebecca B</div><br />
|A nudist would survive for five hours, then succumb to the cold. With a good coat, one would survive for seven, even plausibly eight, until reaching the low-oxygen {{w|death zone}} and suffocating. However, your corpse would outlast the Earth as it was swallowed by the Sun.<br />
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}<br />
|{{book|1|15}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''<br />
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|It's difficult to pin down an "average" for Twitter timeline lengths, but an estimate by Diego Basch and the Tweet rate as of 2013 suggests that the section timeline extending to the past would have 345 billion tweets and be 8,000,000 kilometers (5,000,000 miles) tall. Using extrapolation techniques similar to those used in the {{w|German tank problem}}, the future and past timelines combined would likely contain 690 billion tweets.<br />
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|66|500 MPH}}'''<br />
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Grey Flynn, age 7, Stoneham, MA</div><br />
|500 mph winds are more than fast enough to pick up a person and propel them through the air. In fact, 500 mph winds are so fast that they only occur on Earth in extreme situations like the immediate vicinity of an erupting volcano or the aftermath of a major asteroid impact at which point wind speed would only be one of many dangers to human survival.<br />
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|67|Expanding Earth}}'''<br />
|''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dennis O’Donnell</div><br />
|After a month, the gain would be measurable but within the normal variation of gravity. After a year, it would be more prominent at 5%. Humans could survive with difficulty for a decade, but even in specially-built environments, they would succumb within a century as air itself became toxic from atmospheric pressure. After a few centuries, the Moon would fall into the Roche limit and crumble into rings.<br />
|{{blog|67|2013|10|15}}<br />
|{{book|1|55}}<br />
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|68|Little Planet}}'''<br />
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Samantha Harper</div><br />
|Technically, yes. However, there would be major challenges. For one, gravity would be at full strength at your feet, but only 25% strength at your head, giving the illusion that you're being stretched. You would need to sprint at 3 meters per second to leave orbit. However, if you don't make it to that point, you would enter a highly eccentric orbit which would pull on your body in strange ways. Alternatively, you could escape the atmosphere by jumping. If you can make a dunk in basketball on earth, you could escape this body by jumping.<br />
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}<br />
|{{book|1|22}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''<br />
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Emily Dunham</div><br />
|This depends on if Facebook stays popular or declines in popularity over time. In the former case, the dead would only outnumber the living well into the 2100s; while in the latter, this happens around 2060. Facebook can afford to keep all our data indefinitely, but there are ethical questions.<br />
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}<br />
|{{book|1|59}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''<br />
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nick Nelson</div><br />
|A normal, standard-issue mower running for 10 hours straight could cut an area of 25,000 square meters, or 27,000 yards. Using a much faster mower commissioned by the magazine ''Top Gear'' that is used all day, every day, it could cut an adult male cougar's home range (which [https://wdfw.wa.gov/species-habitats/species/puma-concolor#:~:text=Adult%20male%20cougars%20roam%20widely,terrain%2C%20and%20availability%20of%20prey. the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife] reports as 50-150 miles or 80-240 kilometers).<br />
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}<br />
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|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|71|Stirring Tea}}'''<br />
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Will Evans</div><br />
|No, not really, It would take at least 1 horsepower (a lot for a person stirring), and reducing the power would just make it cool faster. Stirring faster and faster would cause a vacuum to form and stirring to become ineffective.<br />
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}<br />
|{{book|1|61}}<br />
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|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|72|Loneliest Human}}'''<br />
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Bryan J. McCarter</div><br />
|The most well-document candidates are six Apollo astronauts who ventured behind the dark side of the Moon. Antarctic explorers and pre-colonialism Polynesian explorers have a shot, but there's no good evidence of specific people who beat the Apollo record. Astronauts Mike Collins and Al Worden said they were not at all lonely, the latter even enjoying his soltitude.<br />
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}<br />
|{{book|1|63}}<br />
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|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''<br />
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''<br />
<div align="right">—(Overheard in a physics department)</div><br />
|Neutrinos are subatomic particles that barely interact with the universe at all, so it's hard to imagine a scenario where they could harm you, even in a supernova. But at about 2.3 AU, or a little farther than Mars is from the Sun, even the neutrinos would be dense enough to kill you.<br />
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}<br />
|{{book|1|39}}<br />
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|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|74|Soda Planet}}'''<br />
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brian Roelofs</div><br />
|Humans have likely consumed 6.5 trillion liters or 1.7 trillion gallons of soda ever, based on estimates of population growth and popularity of soda. Assuming humanity has drunk 100 trillion liters (26 trillion gallons) of water, it is reasonable to conclude that only 0.0000005% of Earth's current water reservoir has been turned into a soft drink. However, considering how long water takes to cycle around and certain prehistoric life forms, the water in the average soda was likely once consumed by a dinosaur.<br />
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}<br />
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|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|75|Phone Keypad}}'''<br />
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Stewart Bishop</div><br />
|The English word with the most consecutive letters on the same key is "Nonmonogamous".<br />
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}<br />
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|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|76|Reading Every Book}}'''<br />
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Gregory Willmot</div><br />
|About the 1500s, as the population of active English writers reached a few hundred, meaning you would never be able to catch up (using the average word count for a few famous authors as a baseline). You might not want to read them, anyways.<br />
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}<br />
|{{book|2|10}}<br />
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|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|77|Growth Rate}}'''<br />
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Maria</div><br />
|We would reach 10 to 12 meters at age 20, though the human body is not scalable to those heights, as our bone structure is too thin, while our hearts wouldn't be able to pump the blood around.<br />
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}<br />
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|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|78|T-rex Calories}}'''<br />
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tony Schmitz</div><br />
|Estimates vary, but the T-rex was estimated to need 40,000 calories per day. Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics tells us that the average 80 kg/175 pound human [http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-PERSON&Category_Code=QW contains 110,000 calories]. Therefore, a T-rex would need to eat someone every 2 days or so.<br />
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}<br />
|{{book|2|7|T. Rex Calories}}<br />
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|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|79|Lake Tea}}'''<br />
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alex Burman</div><br />
|An average cup of tea requires 2 grams of tea per 100 mL of water, and to make proper tea out of the Great Lakes, you would need 450 billion tons of tea for the Great Lakes' 22,600 cubic kilometers/5400 cubic miles of water. A total year's supply of tea is only 4.8 million tons, which would make tea about as strong as 2 drops in a bathtub. To make proper lake tea, you could use Wular Lake in Kashmir or Ullswater in UK's lake district, due to the volume of both being small enough for the tea to work.<br />
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}<br />
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|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''<br />
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dave</div><br />
|''Human'' viruses would fill about ten oil drums. ''All'' viruses would form a wet heap the size of a small mountain, with a texture resembling pus or meat slurry.<br />
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}<br />
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|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|81|Catch!}}'''<br />
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''<br />
<div align="right">—Ed Hui, London</div><br />
|Yes, eventually the bullet would come to a maximum height, at which point you could grab the bullet before it fell down. You'd need to grip it firmly, because the bullet would still have it's rotational momentum and might jump out of your hand. A larger bullet would require a larger height to catch it at, and even then, it would still be difficult to grab. Of course, this is illegal and can injure you or other people.<br />
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}<br />
|{{book|2|12}}<br />
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|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|82|Hitting a comet}}'''<br />
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tom Foster</div><br />
|The baseball thing is much harder. You'd have to hit it out of the atmosphere, and a baseball is too small to do that. Even if you could, it's still not a fair comparison because astrophysicists are allowed to refine their approach as they close in on the target, which you can't do with a thrown baseball. It turns out that the comet mission requires about the same level of precision as laser eye surgery.<br />
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|83|Star Sand}}'''<br />
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jeff Wartes</div><br />
|Although red giants aren't as common as Sun-like stars or red dwarfs, they would form a stretch of gravel that went on for miles due to their large relative volume. 99% of all stars would form a small patch of sand.<br />
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}<br />
|{{book|2|16}}<br />
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|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|84|Paint the Earth}}'''<br />
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Josh (Bolton, MA)</div><br />
|That there isn't enough paint to go around. The total estimated amount of produced paint, a trillion litres, is only enough to paint as much as the land area of Russia.<br />
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}<br />
|{{book|2|14}}<br />
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|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|85|Rocket Golf}}'''<br />
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dan (Kanata, Ontario)</div><br />
|You ''could'' propel your ship using golf balls, but, assuming they are being fired at 226 mph (363 km/h), the fastest world record, the amount of golf balls needed for this would be around the size of Earth and wouldn't even get you to the Moon. You'd need a potato cannon fueled by acetylene firing golf balls at 310 mph (500 km/h) which reduces the size of the golf mass to 150 miles (240 kilometers). This would be incredibly costly and firing them faster would essentially be the same as building a normal rocket.<br />
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}<br />
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|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''<br />
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Matt Russell</div><br />
|There are a few different frames of reference you can look at, but in normal terms Mariner 10 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1. It's travelled a couple of light-days around the Sun, while the Voyager probes have only travelled a dozen light-hours.<br />
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}<br />
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|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''<br />
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Joausc</div><br />
|Radio waves are generally ''very weak''. You'd need the collective energy of trillions of cell phones just to levitate a snow flake. To stop a car, you'd need at least 2 trillion joules of radiation, which would vaporize the car and everything else around it.<br />
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}<br />
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|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''<br />
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brandon Seah</div><br />
|There are currently 400 parts of carbon dioxide per million. To bring it down to pre-Industrial levels, you'd need 450 quadrillion cans of soda, each being able to hold 2.2 grams of CO2. This would cover Earth's land 10 times over.<br />
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}<br />
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|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''<br />
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Leuchtenburg</div><br />
|Tungsten has the highest melting point of any element, but even tungsten would melt before it got too far. If you protected it with a heat shield, it would get destroyed all the same by the battering of the particles in the Sun's atmosphere. It could possibly penetrate the surface if it was larger, but as it stands, it wouldn't get past the outer layers.<br />
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}<br />
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|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''<br />
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''<br />
''What a great sea that would be!''<br />
''If all the trees were one tree,''<br />
''What a great tree that would be!''<br />
''If all the men were one man,''<br />
''What a great man that would be!''<br />
''If all the axes were one axe,''<br />
''What a great axe that would be!''<br />
''And if the great man took the great axe,''<br />
''And cut down the great tree,''<br />
''And let if fall into the great sea,''<br />
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''<br />
<br />
''... How great would all of these things be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—John Eifert (quoting a ''Mother Goose'' rhyme)</div><br />
|The seas would be a little bigger than the Pacific Ocean. Trees can't grow taller than about 130 meters naturally, and would physically crush itself if above a few kilometers tall. Ignoring these restraints, the tree would be about 75 km tall with trunk diameter of 2 km. Ignoring human size restraints, the person would be close to 3 km tall. The axe would be about 500 meters long and relatively the size of a flimsy hatchet. It may take a few weeks to chop down the tree and the impact would create a tsunami that probably wouldn't wipe out the human race, but would be likely the deadliest single disaster in our history.<br />
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|91|Faucet Power}}'''<br />
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David Axel Kurtz</div><br />
|Small hydroelectric dam in the bathtub would yield about $0.25 per month of electricity, but the best option would probably be to bottle and sell your tap water, yielding about $38 million per year at $1.50 per bottle.<br />
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}<br />
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|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|92|One-Second Day}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dylan</div><br />
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).<br />
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}<br />
|{{book|2|21}}<br />
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|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''<br />
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Daniel Butler</div><br />
|Water droplets in air are normally lighter than the air, so this wouldn't happen under normal circumstances. However, at supersonic speeds, the water droplet would impact the windshield at Mach 18. It wouldn't shatter the windshield, but it would slowly batter it away.<br />
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}<br />
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|[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''<br />
|''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''<br />
<div align="right">—Keira, via Steve Brodovicz, Media, PA </div><br />
|The tower would be far too big to support itself under its own weight. The tower would also extend past the Moon. The sheer amount of elevators needed would provide little to now room for actual usable space. Additionally, space junk would be a large problem, as there is a high probability that space junk would collide with the tower. <br />
|{{blog|94|2014|04|29}}<br />
|{{book|2|22}}<br />
|{{book|21|2025|02|11|Z_xJ40QXu7Q|What if you built a billion-story building?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''<br />
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Marmol</div><br />
|The Apollo Program took about the same manpower as the building of the Great Pyramids, but physics wise, the Great Pyramid only contains 10<sup>12</sup> joules of gravitational potential energy. A single Saturn V rocket's fuel has 20 times more energy.<br />
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}<br />
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|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''<br />
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kevin Underhill</div><br />
|The debt would be incredibly great, to the point that everything ever created by man does not have enough value to pay it off. For comparison, former soliciter general Ted Olson leaked that he charges $1600 per hour for his services. Even if every habitable planet in the Milky Way had a population of 8 billion Ted Olsons, and you hired all of them for a thousand generations, the cost would still be lower than if you lost.<br />
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|23}}<br />
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|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|97|Burning Pollen}}'''<br />
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jessica Thornburg</div><br />
|It would just warm up the air by a very tiny bit, but only because it's so thinly spread. Gathering all of it from a large enough region into one pile could equal a nuclear weapon.<br />
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}<br />
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|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''<br />
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Fiona Byrne</div><br />
|No, you can't. Alcohol in a drunk person's blood would be very diluted and by the time you drank the 14 glasses needed to get drunk, you would've vomited on the account of drinking blood. That aside, you could also get iron overload as well as various blood-borne diseases.<br />
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}<br />
|{{book|2|42}}<br />
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|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|99|Starlings}}'''<br />
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Justin Basinger</div><br />
|Each bird is 85 grams, with a density of around 43 grams per square meter. Because of this, the air would be 25 times stronger than the starlings and the substance governing the collapse. The air would have to be bigger than the Earth to collapse the starlings and the starlings themselves would need to be bigger than the Solar System. They would then promptly turn into a star.<br />
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}<br />
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|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|100|WWII Films}}'''<br />
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Becky</div><br />
|Assuming the average run time of a WWII film was 95 minutes, the combined length was 300 days, meaning World War II was longer than the movies 7 times over. The two most likely candidates for highest movie:war ratio are the Indo-Pakistani war, which lasted 13 days and has 5 catalogued films about it, and the Anglo-Zanzibar war, which only lasted 38 minutes but lacked any films.<br />
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''<br />
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Steve Lydford</div><br />
|Contrary to the name, oil is not made of dead dinosaurs, mostly being composed of marine plankton and algae. Geology is complicated, but the gist is that only a small fraction of a plastic dinosaur toy could've come from dinosaur oil, and depending on the location, it may contain none at all.<br />
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}<br />
|{{book|2|26}}<br />
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|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|102|Keyboard Power}}'''<br />
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''<br />
<div align="right">—Nicholas Dickner</div><br />
|Writing one full novel would provide enough energy to run a laptop for 15 seconds. If each novel takes you six months, this would save a fraction of a penny of electricity. To keep a laptop, you'd need to write a novel every ten seconds, and to run a microwave would require one novel per second.<br />
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}<br />
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|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|103|Vanishing Water}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Joanna Xu</div><br />
|If all water vanished, the first to notice would be anybody currently in the ocean, and over the course of a minute, they would all fall, some of them dying but some surviving with minor injuries. After this, all marine life will have perished. Humans follow soon after as the water cycle would've stopped, collapsing global infrustructure and killing every plant and person by dehydration. The end of the water cycle also leads to a runaway greenhouse effect later on.<br />
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}<br />
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|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|104|Global Snow}}'''<br />
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jed Scott</div><br />
|Snow isn't very dense, and 1 inch of rain would lead to a foot or more of snow. Factoring in snow compressing throughout the day, you would need a mole of snowflakes to cover the Earth in 6 feet in snow.<br />
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}<br />
|{{book|2|59}}<br />
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|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|105|Cannibalism}}'''<br />
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Quinn Shaffer</div><br />
|If half of the world eats the other half, then it would take about 32 months before it came down to 2 people. However, this is also a very efficient way to get a {{w|Transmissible spongiform encephalopathy|prion disease}}. <br />
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}<br />
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|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|106|Ink Molecules}}'''<br />
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David Pelkey</div><br />
|You'd use about 100,000,000,000,000,000 molecules.<br />
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}<br />
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|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|107|Letter to Mom}}'''<br />
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tim</div><br />
|An ICBM would take 12-15 minutes to cross the distance. While that is the best method, a few other methods come close. The Concorde would only take 30 minutes, while firing something with a rail gun down a vacuum tube would take only 10-20 minutes.<br />
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}<br />
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|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''<br />
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rick Lewis</div><br />
|There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000. That amount of platinum would be worth $13 million, while diamonds, Adcetris and LSD would be valued around 1-2 billion,<br />
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|31}}<br />
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|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|109|Into the Blue}}'''<br />
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Garrett D.</div><br />
|Infinitely powerful laser beams do not exist, and if they did, they would vaporize the air and destroy everything like in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}''. That being said, if it were truly random, it would be aimed at Earth 50% of the time. If you miss the Earth, 89,999 times out of 90,000, your beam will pass right out of the galaxy without hitting anything. When it does hit something, it will almost always be the Sun or the Moon.<br />
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}<br />
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|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|110|Walking New York}}'''<br />
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Asif Shamir</div><br />
|Based on estimates of US Postal Service carriers and their travel times, we know that walking every street in NYC would probably take 14 years. Assuming it takes about 25 seconds to enter an apartment building, leave, and go to the next one, it would only take an additional 10 years to visit every apartment. However, under [http://ypdcrime.com/penal.law/article140.htm New York Penal Code], the punishment would take 2 million years or 2,000 millenia to finish.<br />
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}<br />
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|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|111|All the Money}}'''<br />
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Daniel Pino</div><br />
|Currency only makes up a fraction of Earth's money, and it's unlikely people would agree to your sudden claims of ownership over all of the land, nor would they let you spend the actual currency you have. Said currency would quickly crush you, as most of its weight is in coinage. You could build a structure to contain the coins, but this would violate NYC building codes.<br />
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}<br />
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|{{book|25|2025|05|06|saj7b5C6TCM|What if you literally had all the money in the world?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|112|Balloon Car}}'''<br />
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''<br />
<div align="right">—Phil Rodgers, Cambridge, UK</div><br />
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].<br />
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|113|Visit Every State}}'''<br />
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''<br />
<div align="right">—as discussed by Stephen Von Worley <span class="plainlinks">on [http://www.datapointed.net/2012/08/fastest-route-to-visit-all-fifty-united-states/ '''''Data Pointed''''']</span><br />
|It would take you 160 hours by car, 39 hours by landing a private jet in each state, and 18 hours by F-22 fighter jet and helicopter landing in each state. However, if you relax the requirement to land in each state and simply count entering the state's airspace as "visiting" it, you can do it in around 7 hours with an SR-71 Blackbird. If we allow satellite orbits, you can do it in just over 6 hours with five orbits, assuming your satellite makes a course correction on each orbit.<br />
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}<br />
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|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|114|Antimatter}}'''<br />
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sean Gallagher</div><br />
|It would wipe out all life on Earth, but surprisingly slower than you might expect. The annihilation of antimatter entering the atmosphere would add enough extra heat to create a runaway greenhouse effect and make Earth similar to Venus. We would be in much more danger from meteorites, with dinosaur-killer equivalents hitting the upper atmosphere every few months.<br />
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}<br />
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|[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|115|Into the Sun}}'''<br />
|''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—AJ, Kansas City</div><br />
|You would not be warmed if you went to the surface, as the energy received by your skin would be minimal. You would maybe see a bright flash of light. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you, as the energy delivered there would be able to give you a second-degree burn after 1 femtosecond (1 millionth of a nanosecond) in the core.<br />
|{{blog|115|2014|10|08}}<br />
|{{book|2|61}}<br />
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''<br />
|''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''<br />
<div align="right">—Hunter Freyer</div><br />
|If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.<br />
|{{blog|116|2014|10|15}}<br />
|{{book|2|35}}<br />
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|117|Distant Death}}'''<br />
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Amy from NZ</div><br />
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.<br />
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|118|Physical Salary}}'''<br />
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Julia Anderson, Albuquerque, NM</div><br />
|At minimum US wage, a worker would earn about one water bottle of mixed coins per day. A CEO would earn about 600 such bottles per day, and the coins would accumulate on the floor at a rate of about 0.5 inches per day. Mark Zuckerberg would earn 25 such bottles ''per second'', and the coins would bury him if he sat still for an hour.<br />
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}<br />
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|[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''<br />
|''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Zach Wheeler</div><br />
|It's doable in theory, but the energy required to completely vaporize a raindrop (rather than merely splattering it) is high enough that your surroundings would get dangerously hot. Targeting the droplets might be possible with adaptive optics, but it would require a complicated device. You could try firing rapidly in random directions instead, but your high-powered laser might go several hundred meters without hitting a raindrop, which would endanger your local neighborhood.<br />
|{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|37}}<br />
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''<br />
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''<br />
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|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}<br />
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|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Zoe Cutler</div><br />
|Anywhere with rain or snowmelt would be horrifically flooded, and ice would break, then dam up rivers, forming huge lakes. Humanity would be worse for the wear, but all in all fine.<br />
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)<br />
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|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|122|Lava Lamp}}'''<br />
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)</div><br />
|The container would glow opaque from the heat, making it impossible to see the lava, which would solidify after a minute.<br />
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}<br />
|{{book|2|40}}<br />
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|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''<br />
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mira Kühn, Germany</div><br />
|They would have the same birth rate as humans, and they would become a major part of the ecosystem.<br />
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''<br />
|''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''<br />
<div align="right">—Kim Holder</div><br />
|It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.<br />
|{{blog|124|2015|01|08}}<br />
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|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}<br />
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|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|125|Bowling Ball}}'''<br />
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Doug Carter</div><br />
|It would take two hours and 20 minutes.<br />
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}<br />
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|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|126|Stairs}}'''<br />
|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ethan Annas</div><br />
|{{notice|Could be made clearer (e.g., the order we gave is: professional stair-climber→motorcycle→by foot. Seems unintuitive.)}}It would take a week or two for a professional stair-climber, or about half a day by motorcycle. If going on foot, you'd also need to carry a huge backpack stuffed with nothing but sticks of butter in order to get your daily caloric intake (including the energy expended from climbing the stairs).<br />
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}<br />
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|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|127|Tug of War}}'''<br />
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Markus Andersen</div><br />
|Two teams of 25 people each would be able to rip a half-inch iron bar apart: tug-o-war is a very dangerous game, as there's so much force being exerted on the rope. The theoretical upper limit of a game is 100,000 players each, pulling a 200-mile long rope made of graphite ribbons. <br />
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}<br />
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|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|128|Zippo Phone}}'''<br />
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ian Cummings</div><br />
|The Zippo has more energy than your phone battery, but your hand would have even more, when burned as fuel.<br />
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Matt</div><br />
|Not much would change. A black hole of the Moon's mass would be the size of a sand grain, but gravitational effects would still be more or less the same here on Earth. There would be no moonlight, which would make the Earth a bit colder and mess with some nocturnal animals. You wouldn't see any lunar eclipses due to the tiny size of the Moon. It would only cause significant problems if the Moon replacement occured while humanity was exploring the Moon.<br />
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}<br />
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|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|130|Snow Removal}}'''<br />
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Matt Van Opens</div><br />
|The flamethrower is more practical because microwaves don't heat ice very well. The microwave beam would require the power output of three aircraft carriers, and the flamethrower would have a gas mileage of 17 feet per gallon.<br />
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}<br />
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|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|131|Microwaves}}'''<br />
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''<br />
<div align="right">—James</div><br />
|The first cause of this issue is that the wave pattern of microwaves create 'dead spots' where the food isn't heated. Secondly, melted ice causes some parts to cook while the rest is still defrosting. Use a lower power level, stir your food partway through microwaving, and let it sit for a few minutes before you eat it. This allows the heat to spread evenly.<br />
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|132|Hotter than Average}}'''<br />
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Graham Ward</div><br />
|There is a water average: the year-round average air temperature. By saying the water is "hotter than average", they're implying the water in the pool is not tied to it. Give the signmakers some credit.<br />
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|133|Flagpole}}'''<br />
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rex Ungericht</div><br />
|It would be impossible, even a gymnast's arms would be ripped off from the force.<br />
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|134|Space Burial}}'''<br />
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tim in Fremont</div><br />
|Even before you were launched, your body would dry out very quickly. In low orbit, your body would fall to Earth and be burned from atmospheric re-entry. In a higher orbit, it would be destroyed from space debris. In high orbit, you could last for a few centuries. If your body was ever found it would mean there are a lot of people travelling around: making bodies pretty common.<br />
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|135|Digging Downward}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jack Kaunis</div><br />
|To remove all that soil, the energy required would heat up the surrounding beyond fatal levels pretty quickly. Immune to the heat, you could survive for one to two hours, as oxygen becomes toxic at depths higher than 5 kilometers.<br />
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''<br />
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''<br />
<div align="right">—Marina Fleming</div><br />
|The Sun, by 13 orders of magnitude (the Sun is very big). But spiders are a lot more scary.<br />
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}<br />
|{{book|2|44}}<br />
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|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|137|New Horizons}}'''<br />
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Robin Sheat</div><br />
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|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''<br />
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''<br />
<div align="right">—KTH</div><br />
|No. Before it got to the point where it could float, the submarine would be crushed by the high pressure and melted by the high temperature. This is because gasses behave differently to fluids: the point where things can float is at a much higher pressure. <br />
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''<br />
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ada Munroe</div><br />
|There's not a whole lot to go on here; we have some data and educated guesses about what's going inside these gas giants, but we haven't sent any probes equipped with operational cameras into a gas giant so we don't really know. A book by Michael Carroll suggests that there is a layer between the upper ammonia haze and lower ammonium hydrosulfide clouds, that could provide some good views, and if so, the view would be similar to Earth's atmosphere in that clouds and fellow submarines would fade into blue.<br />
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}<br />
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|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''<br />
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Noah Williams</div><br />
|There would be so much energy packed into one space that it would create a black hole as massive as the observable universe that would expand outwards at the speed of light. Because of the charge from the electrons, it would be a "naked singularity": a black hole with infinite mass that allows light to escape.<br />
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|48}}<br />
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|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|141|Sunbeam}}'''<br />
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Max Schäfer</div><br />
|Parts of the atmosphere would be heated to millions of degrees, and the bubble of destruction would wrap around the Earth before it even reached the other side. The light reflected off the moon would be hot enough to burn you to death. If the beam couldn't track the Earth, part of it would survive as the Earth orbited out of the way. If the beam reached another planetary system, it could heat up the surface of some distant exoplanets. <br />
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|142|Space Jetta}}'''<br />
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Casey Berg</div><br />
|{{notice|Why??}}Actually, it would be more clean than it is currently!<br />
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''<br />
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—A group of Google Search SREs</div><br />
|{{notice|Too short}}No, at least not with a siphon.<br />
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}<br />
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|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|144|Saliva Pool}}'''<br />
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mary Griffin, 9th grade</div><br />
|For an Olympic pool, it would take you 8,345 years. In order to finish by the present day, you'd need to start during the invention of agriculture.<br />
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}<br />
|{{book|2|53}}<br />
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|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''<br />
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rogier Spoor</div><br />
|{{notice|Too short, explain if you were surrounded by the Sun}}No. Because of the law of conservation of étendue, the light would only be as hot as the surface of the moon.<br />
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}<br />
|{{book|2|51}}<br />
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|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''<br />
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dillon</div><br />
|Even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter, this could never happen, because Jupiter is much more massive than Earth. Gravity assists are like bouncing a tennis ball off a train, and to stop the train, you'd need an awfully large tennis ball. <!-- or, as per https://what-if.xkcd.com/18, a *lot* of them... ;) --><br />
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|147|Niagara Straw}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David Gwizdala</div><br />
|{{notice|A list of agencies isn't useful here, explain the actual article.}}The International Niagara Committee, the International Niagara Board of Control, the International Joint Commission, the International Niagara Board Working Committee, and probably the Great Lakes–St. Lawrence River Adaptive Management Committee would get angry. The Earth would also be destroyed.<br />
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)<br />
|{{book|2|55}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|148|Eat the Sun}}'''<br />
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''<br />
<div align="right">—James Mitchell</div><br />
|0.000000000065%. This is such a ridiculously small portion of the Sun's heat exhaust, that we cannot increase our personal calory intake enough to compensate. Instead we need to add more persons. A lot of them in fact. So many that we need to spread them - and the food that they eat - out throughout not just our galaxy but multiple galaxies. Otherwise, the food alone would be massive enough to turn into a black hole.<br />
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|149|Pizza Bird}}'''<br />
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tina Nguyen</div><br />
|After careful analysis of wing types, relative weights, and pizza grabbing mechanisms, it is deduced that even the most compatible bird - the eagle - would be hard-pressed to deliver a pizza to an airliner, the relative speed being the largest hurdle. However, delivery to a house - where the relative speed is not so much of a problem - would be possible, though the pizza might be found a slice or two short.<br />
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''<br />
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Raga</div><br />
|Each sun is the source of not just one rainbow, but a whole series of rainbows of diminishing intensity; the elusive 5th order rainbow had apparently been pictured at the time of publication. A planet with two suns would consequently have two series of rainbows. A solar system arranged like Tatooine would have to be circumbinary, which limits the separation of the two rainbow series to about 20 degrees. As the main rainbow is 84 degrees across, this leads to the conclusion that the rainbows would always be overlapping.<br />
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|151|Sun Bug}}'''<br />
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Luke Doty</div><br />
|{{notice|Talk about the problems he mentions, like each firefly turning into a black hole.}}30,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 fireflies.<br />
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''<br />
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nick Traeden</div><br />
|Basically, yes. But there is a lot of digging, and the end result would be quite similar to the Salton Sea which is characterized as "gross" (technical term). Also, heat world records would likely move elsewhere.<br />
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|''The thumbnail for this blog article wasn't archived.''<br />
|'''<span class="plainlinks">[https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153 Peptides]</span>'''<br />
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kira (Lysine-Isoleucine-Arginine-Alanine) Guth</div><br />
|For any peptides, 19 letters is the highest possible, that being the word "interdepartmentally". For naturally existing peptides in the human body, 8 letters is the highest known. Examples of 8 letters are: GRISETTE, DATELESS, REVERSAL.<br />
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|notAvailable=Published by accident and deleted: [[what if? (blog)#top|learn more]]}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''<br />
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sam Burke</div><br />
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.<br />
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''<br />
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brandon Rooks</div><br />
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.<br />
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''<br />
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''<br />
<div align="right">—<span class="plainlinks">[https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/ '''My Brother, My Brother, and Me'''], [https://maximumfun.org/episodes/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-343-sauce-doctors-blessing/ '''Episode 343'''], discussing a </span>Yahoo Answers question</div><br />
|As a superior being, the Toaster casts its gaze upon lowly humans and hrumphs at their bickering about such measly temperature variations as 40C. The Toaster regularly reaches 600C and thus, to it - much like to the Fire - everything else is cold, be it room temperature or freezer temperature. Winnipeg locals have it easy and can try this for themselves, as long as they can stave of the wolves.<br />
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''<br />
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Madeline Cooper</div><br />
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.<br />
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''<br />
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ramon Schönborn, Germany</div><br />
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.<br />
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|58}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|158|Hot Banana}}'''<br />
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kang Ji</div><br />
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number. However, gathering that many bananas in one place would have negative consequences. New York no longer exists.<br />
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|159|Hailstones}}'''<br />
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Grill</div><br />
|{{notice|Too short. Explain air resistance as Randall does.}}There's no real chance of producing that big hail stones, but if they could be lethal even if staying indoors.<br />
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''<br />
|'''{{What If|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''<br />
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Eric Munson</div><br />
|In addition to destroying global ocean circulation and creating an illegal naval blockade, this is definitely a violation of her rental car agreement. Also, organizing a fleet of a trillion rental cars would be difficult.<br />
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''<br />
|'''{{What If|161|Star Ownership}}'''<br />
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Reuven Lazarus</div><br />
|Given that the South pole (of Earth) points towards the Milky way centre, most of the galaxy will wind up in the air-space (space-space?) of countries of the southern hemisphere. However, due to Earth's rotation around its axis, the nadir of the galaxy core (on Earth) will constantly shift. Given that Australia is the largest of the southern countries, Australia will most often be the Rulers of the Universe. Northern hemisphere jurisdictions, such as New Jersey, will have to contend with some pretty nifty black holes and possibly murderous exoplanets.<br />
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|24}}<br />
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|-<br />
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''<br />
|'''{{What If|162|Comet Ice}}'''<br />
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Daniel Becker</div><br />
|{{notice|Too short}}The comet either burns up in the atmosphere or speeds up global warming.<br />
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Global Windstorm'''<br />
|''"What would happen if the Earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div><br />
|Everyone would die. Then, the wind would destroy everything, with gusts blowing more than 1,000 mph (1,600 km/h) around the equator, killing 85% of the world population. The highest winds would only last a few minutes, but that would be enough to vaporise most human structures. Bunkers would be useless, because, even if your bunker were stuck to the ground hard, others would not be as strong and would hit yours at 1,000 mph. However, most of the researchers at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}} would be completely fine. The wind blast would then become a heat blast with scorching temperatures and create global thunderstorms in moist areas. After a while, the Earth would gradually start to regain its rotational velocity thanks to the Moon.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|1}}<br />
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to get your teeth to such a cold temperature that they would shatter upon drinking a hot cup of coffee?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Shelby Hebert</div><br />
<div align="right"></div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|4}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"How many houses are burned down in the United States every year? What would be the easiest way to increase that number by a significant amount (say, at least 15%)?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''<br />
|''"I assume when you travel back in time you end up at the same spot on the Earth’s surface. At least, that’s how it worked in the Back to the Future movies. If so, what would it be like if you traveled back in time, starting in Times Square, New York, 1000 years? 10,000 years? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 1,000,000,000 years? What about foward in time 1,000,000 years?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mark Dettling</div><br />
|<br />
*1,000 years back, you'd see many chestnut trees, wolves, and passenger pigeons.<br />
*10,000 years back, the ground would be mostly bedrock, with large chunks of ice and dropped boulders, called glacial erratics.<br />
*100,000 years back, several islands were pushed upwards by the ice. You would see many now-extinct species, such as Canis dirus, Smilodon fatalis, and Arctodus.<br />
*1,000,000 years back, you'd see relatives of hyenas called Chasmaporthetes.<br />
*1,000,000 years back would be no plants or animals, only single-celled organisms in the ocean.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|5}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you made a periodic table out of cube-shaped bricks, where each brick was made of the corresponding element?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Andy Connolly</div><br />
|The top two rows wouldn't be too dangerous to build, but the rest of the periodic table would seriously injure or kill you. In the sixth row, elements with short half-lives would destroy the room you were in as well as causing nuclear fallout to fall nearby. Past the sixth row, the entire city you were in would be destroyed.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|8}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Would dumping anti-matter into the Chernobyl reactor when it was melting down stop the meltdown?"''<br />
<div align="right">—AJ</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|12}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Is it possible to cry so much you dehydrate yourself?"''<div align="right">—Karl Wildermuth</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''The Last Human Light'''<br />
|''"If every human somehow simply disappeared from the face of the Earth, how long would it be before the last artificial light source would go out?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alan</div><br />
|Radioactive waste that was mixed with glass will glow for centuries.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|13}}<br />
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Given humanity’s current knowledge and capabilities, is it possible to build a new star?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jeff Gordon</div><br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|16}}<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What sort of logistic anomalies would you encounter in trying to raise an army of apes?"''<div align="right">—Kevin</div><br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If people had wheels and could fly, how would we differentiate them from airplanes?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Orbital Submarine'''<br />
|''"How long would a nuclear submarine last in orbit?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jason Lathbury</div><br />
|The submarine could last as long as it was in space.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|17}}<br />
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to stop a volcano eruption by placing a bomb (thermobaric or nuclear) underneath the surface?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tomasz Gruszka</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|20}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"A friend of mine is convinced that there is sound in space. There isn’t, right?"''<div align="right">—Aaron Smith</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Human Computer'''<br />
|''"How much computing power could we achieve if the entire world population stopped whatever we are doing right now and started doing calculations? How would it compare to a modern-day computer or smartphone?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mateusz Knorps</div><br />
|The combined computing power of all devices surpassed the power of all humans in 1977.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|21}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Common Cold'''<br />
|''"If everyone on the planet stayed away from each other for a couple of weeks, wouldn't the common cold virus be wiped out?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sarah Ewart</div><br />
|No, because immunocompromised individuals can harbor rhinoviruses for a long time. Only a few hosts are needed for the virus to spread again.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|25}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''" If global warming puts us in danger through temperature rise, and super-volcanos put us into danger of global cooling, shouldn’t those two dangers balance each other out?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Florian Seidl-Schulz</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|27}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"How fast would a human have to run in order to be cut in half at the bellybutton by a cheese-cutting wire?"''<div align="right">—Jon Merrill</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''No More DNA'''<br />
|''"This may be a bit gruesome, but... if someone's DNA suddenly vanished, how long would that person last?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nina Charest</div><br />
|You could live for several hours or days before succumbing to infection or systemwide organ failure.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|29}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What is the total nutritional value (calories, fat, vitamins, minerals, etc.) of the average human body?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Justin Risner</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|31}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What temperature would a chainsaw (or other cutting implement) need to be at to instantly cauterize any injuries inflicted with it?"''<div align="right">—Sylvia Gallagher</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Flyover States'''<br />
|''"Which US state is actually flown over the most?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jesse Ruderman</div><br />
|Virgina, due to a large amount of flights from Toronto to the Carribbean/South America.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|33}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"In Thor the main character is at one point spinning his hammer so fast that he creates a strong tornado. Would this be possible in real life?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Davor</div><br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|36}}<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If you saved a whole life’s worth of kissing and used all that suction power on one single kiss, how much suction force would that single kiss have?"''<div align="right">—Jonatan Lindström</div><br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"How many nuclear missiles would have to be launched at the United States to turn it into a complete wasteland?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Self-Fertilization'''<br />
|''"I read about some researchers who were trying to produce sperm from bone marrow stem cells. If a woman were to have sperm cells made from her own stem cells and impregnate herself, what would be her relationship to her daughter?"''<br />
<div align="right">—R Scott LaMorte</div><br />
|The resulting child would have many genetic defects, effectively being inbred.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|37}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"A toxin blocks the ability of the nephron tubule reabsorption but does not affect filtration. What are the possible short-term effects of this toxin?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mary</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|40}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If a Venus fly trap could eat a person, about how long would it take for the human to be fully de-juiced and absorbed?"''<div align="right">—Jonathan Wang</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Lost Immortals'''<br />
|''"If two immortal people were placed on opposite sides of an uninhabited Earthlike planet, how long would it take them to find each other? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 100,000,000,000 years?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ethan Lake</div><br />
|Depending on strategy and terrain, a few years to a few decades.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|42}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Could you survive a tidal wave by submerging yourself in an in-ground pool?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Chris Muska</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|46}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If you are in free fall and your parachute fails, but you have a Slinky with extremely convenient mass, tension, etc., would it be''<br />
possible to save yourself by throwing the Slinky upward while holding on to one end of it?"<div align="right">—Varadarajan Srinivasan</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Sparta'''<br />
|''"In the movie 300 they shoot arrows up into the sky and they seemingly blot out the sun. Is this possible, and how many arrows would it take?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anna Newell</div><br />
|300 arrows per second with densely packed archers could blot out 99% of the sun's light. If the sun were low in the horizon, you could more effectively block sunlight with less arrows.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|47}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Lego Bridge'''<br />
|''"How many Lego bricks would it take to build a bridge capable of carrying traffic from London to New York? Have that many Lego bricks been manufactured?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jerry Petersen</div><br />
|Enough bricks have been manufactured to connect London and New York, but the bridge would not be structurally sound enough to stay together for very long.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|51}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What is the probability that if I am stabbed by a knife in my torso that it won’t hit anything vital and I’ll live?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Thomas</div><br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|54}}<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If I were on a motorbike and do a jump off a quarter pipe ramp, how fast would I need to be moving to safely deploy and land using the parachute?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What if every day, every human had a 1 percent chance of being turned into a turkey, and every turkey had a 1 percent chance of''<br />
being turned into a human?"<div align="right">—Kenneth</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Weightless Arrow'''<br />
|''"Assuming a zero-gravity environment with an atmosphere identical to Earth's, how long would it take the friction of air to stop an arrow fired from a bow? Would it eventually come to a standstill and hover in midair?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mark Estano</div><br />
|It would stop at about 5 to 10 kilometers.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|56}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''All the Lightning'''<br />
|''"If all the lightning strikes happening in the world on any given day all happened in the same place at once, what would happen to that place?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Trevor Jones</div><br />
|It would create a crater the size of a basketball court.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|62}}<br />
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What if everyone in Great Britain went to one of the coasts and started paddling? Could they move the island at all?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ellen Eubanks</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|64}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Are fire tornadoes possible?"''<div align="right">—Seth Wishman</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Neutron Bullet'''<br />
|''"If a bullet with the density of a neutron star were fired from a handgun (ignoring the how) at the Earth's surface, would the Earth be destroyed?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Charlotte Ainsworth</div><br />
|No. The bullet would fall through the ground and stop in the center of the Earth.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|67}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What if I swallow a tick that has Lyme disease? Will my stomach acid kill the tick and the borreliosis, or would I get Lyme disease from the inside out?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Christopher Vogel</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|68}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet,''<br />
would be required to “bring it down”?"<div align="right">—Brittany</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Richter 15'''<br />
|''"What if a Richter magnitude 15 earthquake were to hit America at, let's say, New York City? What about a Richter 20? 25?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alec Farid</div><br />
|A magnitude 15 earthquake would destroy the Earth.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|69}}<br />
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Soupiter'''<br />
|''"What would happen if the Solar System was filled with soup out to Jupiter?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Amelia</div><br />
|The soup would collapse into a black hole and devour the Milky Way, though we would feel mostly fine for the first 10 to 15 minutes.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|1}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Helicopter Ride'''<br />
|''"What if you were hanging on a helicopter blade by your hands and then someone turned it on?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Corban Blanset</div><br />
|Without any grip assistance, you'd fall off before it completed its first revolution. With handholds, your body would instead fall off of your arms.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|2}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Dangerously Cold'''<br />
|''"Would there be any danger from standing next to a large object that was 0 Kelvin?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Christopher</div><br />
|There wouldn't be a lot of direct danger from the cube itself, though it would make you feel cold. The bigger danger would be from liquid oxygen condensing and igniting flammable objects. It would take a while to reheat the cube<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|3}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''<br />
|''"What if we somehow evaporated a solid block of iron on {{asic|ear|th''}}''?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Cooper C.</div><br />
|The cube would ignite whatever is near it and deposit large quantities of iron flakes downwind. However, it wouldn't make a huge impact on the total amount of atmospheric iron.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|4}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''<br />
|''"If the universe stopped expanding right now, how long would it take for a human to drive a car all the way to the edge of the universe?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sam H-H</div><br />
|First off, a human can't do this. Assuming a normal crash rate, an average human driver wouldn't make it past Mars without crashing. Even truck drivers, a field where the crash rate is much lower, wouldn't make it past Jupiter. Using a self-driving car, however, would negate this. It would take an incredibly long time, on the order of approximately 480 quadrillion years if you're driving at a steady pace of 65 miles per hour. Assuming you want to keep your car functional, you would go through 30 quintillion oil changes. Assuming a reasonable 33 MPG highway mileage, the amount of gasoline needed would be similar to the moon in size. You would also need 10^17 tons of snacks. Entertainment would be another issue. If every person who has ever lived had 150 friends/acquaintances, listening to a real-time podcast of someone's life, all from the perspective of a different friend/acquaintance, you would need to re-watch them all 150 times to make it to the edge of the observable universe. Once you get there, there would be no Earth to come back to. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|5}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Pigeon Chair'''<br />
|''"How many pigeons would it require in order to lift the average person and launch a chair to the height of Australia's Q1 skyscraper?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div><br />
|The optimal method for using the least amount of pigeons would be to use a multi-stage system of sorts. A group of pigeons would lift you about 10 feet, before dropping you as another group swoops in to take their place. However, even with this system, the number of pigeons would be large enough that the earth would be pulled into the pigeons by gravity instead of the other way around. In other words, if you want to get to the top of Australia's Q1 skyscraper, use an elevator.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|6}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="11"|<br />
|rowspan="11"|'''Short Answers #1'''<br />
|''"What if your blood became liquid uranium? Would you die from radiation, lack of oxygen, or something else?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Thomas Chattaway</div><br />
|You would die Having-no-Blood-and-Being-Full-of-Molten-Uranium Syndrome. Also known as Jeff's Disease.<br />
|rowspan="11"|<br />
|rowspan="11"{{book|2|6.5}} (S1)<br />
|rowspan="11"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"Could someone have an anime-style attack where they created a sword out of air? I'm not talking about an air blade, but something like cooling the air enough so that you had solid air to attack people."''<br />
<div align="right">—Emma</div><br />
|Theoretically yes, but it would be extremely impractical. The temperature to turn oxygen solid is very low, and even with proper insulation it would still cause frostbite. It would also be very weak and very soft, and would sublimate quickly, basically making it useless for all intensive purposes, except for PR.<br />
|-<br />
|''"How much water do you have to drink to become 99 percent water?"''<br />
<div align="right">—LyraxH</div><br />
|About 500 gallons of water.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would we see if we attached a lightweight camera to a balloon and let it fly away?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Raymond Peng</div><br />
|We would see a balloon slowly flying away, fading into the sky. It would be quite pretty. Though next time we should probably attach a transmitter. <br />
|-<br />
|''"How many calories does Mario burn a day?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Daniel and Xavier Hovley</div><br />
|Mario starved to death in late 1985.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If a snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed a balloon whole, could/would the balloon carry the snake up?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Freezachu</div><br />
|No.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you were to jump out of an airplane that was traveling at Mach 880980 that was 100,00 feet above ground in New York City, with skydiving gear, could you survive?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jack Catten</div><br />
|rowspan="2"|No, you would die.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If there was no water on Earth, would we all live?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Karen</div><br />
|-<br />
|''"Is it possible to make a homemade jetpack?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Azhari Zadil</div><br />
|It's very easy to make one that works once; much harder to make it work more.<br />
|-<br />
|''"I was wondering whether there's a way to use my welder as a defibrillator? (The specific model I own is an Impax IM-ARC140 arc welder.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Łukasz Grabowski</div><br />
|No, and you probably shouldn't be allowed to use it as an arc welder either.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if all atoms on Earth were expanded to the size of a grape? Would we survive?<br />
|I don't know how to answer this with science, but now I want grapes.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Geyser'''<br />
|''"If one were to stand on top of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, at what speed would they be launched upwards and what injuries would they likely sustain?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Catherine McGrath</div><br />
|If you positioned yourself in just the right way, and used an umbrella to catch as much lift as possible, you could be launched hundreds of feet in the air. Unsurprisingly, you'd receive severe burns and almost certainly die. Surprisingly, however, you would be far from the first person to get severe burns from the geysers.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|8}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''<br />
|''"If you shot a ridiculously powerful gun/{{asic|la|zer''}}'' would it go off the edge of the world in a straight line or curve around the world?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Maelor</div><br />
|The beam would go off the edge of the world, except under certain circumstances.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|9}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''<br />
|colspan="2"|''"Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sadie Kim</div><br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|10.5}} (W1)<br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill, or at least, injure somebody?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Eli Collinge</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"If you had to remove the tonsils of a giant, what would be the safest way for you to do it? The surgeon is a normal human."''<br />
<div align="right">—Tirzah</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"What would it take to defeat Air Force One with a drone???"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Banana Church'''<br />
|''"Can all the world's bananas fit inside of all of the world's churches? My friends have had this argument for a little over 10 years now."''<br />
<div align="right">—Jonas</div><br />
|<big><big>{{notice2|'''Most of these are too short!'''}}</big></big> <big><big>{{notice|'''If you own the second book, please help us by explaining more!'''}}</big></big> Yes. They would likely only fill the churches to 6 inches deep.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|11}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''<br />
|''"I want to lose 20 pounds. How much of the Earth's mass would I have to "relocate" to space in order to achieve my goal?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ryan Murphy</div><br />
|You would have to remove 85% of the Earth's mass. However, due to the increase in density in the mantle, you would actually gain weight until you've removed about half the Earth's diameter.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|13}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''<br />
|''"Dear Randall, what would happen if you shrunk Jupiter down to the size of a house and placed in a neighborhood, say, replacing a house?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Zachary</div><br />
|Assuming density stayed the same when you shrunk Jupiter down, the biggest issue would be that the gravity that keeps its hot interior together would no longer exist, essentially creating a giant fireball that would turn into a mushroom cloud, and eventually spread out into a big cool cloud. This would, effectively, be the reverse of the formation of Jupiter, which started as clouds before being compressed into a small hot ball.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|15}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Swing Set'''<br />
|''"How tall can a swing set be while still being powered by a human pumping their legs? Is it possible to build a swing set tall enough to launch the rider into space if they jump at the right time? (Assuming the human has enough energy, which my 5-year-old seems to have.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Joe Coyle</div><br />
|This wouldn't happen.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|17}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Airliner Catapult'''<br />
|''"My friend is a commercial airline pilot. She says that a significant amount of fuel is spent on takeoff. To save fuel, why couldn't we launch airplanes using catapult systems like on aircraft carriers (calibrated to normal human accelerations)? Could significant amounts of fossil fuels be saved if the catapults could be run by some other clean energy? I'm imagining a rope ... one end tied to the airplane, the other tied to a large boulder at the edge of a cliff. Just push the boulder off the cliff!"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brady Barkey</div><br />
|It's not a completely ridiculous idea, but the most practical issue is that you'd have to extend the roughly mile-long runway several times more to take full advantage of it. Using the proposed rope-and-cliff system, you'd need to use a thousand ton weight dropped at the height of a super tall skyscraper - of course, if you used something heavier, like the 80,000-ton Washington Monument, you wouldn't need to drop it as far.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|18}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="14"|<br />
|rowspan="14"|'''Short Answers #2'''<br />
|''"Billy the Clown is running out of cash, so in order to raise money, he devises his newest trick: He will inflate, by mouth, a standard-size party balloon until the material (some form of indestructible rubber) is just one atom thick. How large would the inflated party balloon be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alan Fong</div><br />
|It's a total mystery why Billy is running out of cash.<br />
|rowspan="14"|<br />
|rowspan="14"{{book|2|18.5}} (S2)<br />
|rowspan="14"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"How many leaf blowers would it take to move a standard SUV"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ashley H.</div><br />
|One or two dozen heavy-duty leaf blowers on level ground; more if you don't want to be honked at.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you put a vacuum at extremely high suction and aimed it at a normal BMW sedan, what would happen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|Nothing.<br />
|-<br />
|''"On a warm summer evening, when you sit outside with a light on, you can be sure that bugs will be attracted to the light. Then why is it that these same bugs don't fly toward the biggest and strongest lamp of them all, namely the Sun, during the day?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|Those that would would die and not be able to produce offspring with the same traits.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you collected all of the guns in the world and put them on one side of the Earth, then shot the all simultaneously, would it move the Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nathan</div><br />
|It would not move the Earth, but it would make the other side a nicer place to live.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you microwaved a small microwave, while the smaller one was on as well?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Micheal</div><br />
|You would no longer be welcome in that IKEA.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you're jumping on a trampoline, how fast would your body have to be going to:<br>'''A.''' Break all bones on impact<br>'''B.''' Make your body go though the tiny holes of the mesh."''<br />
<div align="right">—Micah Lane</div><br />
|<ol style="list-style-type: upper-alpha"><br />
<li>Breaking all of the bones in your body would be hard because a lot of them are very small, but it would be fast enough that the trampoline wouldn't make much of a difference.</li><br />
<li>This can't happen, no matter how fast you're going.</li><br />
</ol><br />
|-<br />
|''"I have a Nothing Grenade™. When detonated, it instantly replaces itself with a sphere of perfect vacuum 2 meters across. What would actually happen when it went off?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dave H.</div><br />
|You would have a device functionally similar to a regular grenade.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Is space hot or cold?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Isaac</div><br />
|Space is the hottest place you can freeze to death in.<br />
|-<br />
|''"How many bones can you remove from the human body while allowing the human to continue living? Asking for a friend."''<br />
<div align="right">—Chris Rakeman</div><br />
|That person is not your friend.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you put a human under a g-force of 417 Gs for twenty seconds?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nythill</div><br />
|You would be arrested for murder.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Where or how can one commit a murder and not be prosecuted for it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kunai Dhawan</div><br />
|Theoretically, in a section of Yellowstone National Park, where {{w|Zone of Death (Yellowstone)|a jury would have to be formed from a non-existent population}}. In practice, you'd definitely still be prosecuted for committing a murder there.<br />
|-<br />
|''"I read today that insects make at least $57 billion a year for the US economy. If we were to pay every single insect in the United States equally for their economic contribution, how much would each insect get?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Hannah McDonald</div><br />
|Each insect would get $0.0000029.<br />
Broken down:<br />
*$18 billion to flies, including mosquitoes<br />
*$16 billion to bees, wasps, and ants<br />
*$10 billion to beetles<br />
*$7 billion to thrips<br />
*$1 billion to butterflies and moths<br />
*$1 billion to true bugs<br />
*$4 billion to all other insects<br />
|-<br />
|''"What, in today's world and yesterday's world, does it mean to be human, in all social and biological factors?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Seth Carrol</div><br />
|You meant to submit this to ''Why If?: Deeply Ungrammatical Answers to Unanswerable Philosophical Questions''.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''<br />
|''"What if an object like the Chicxulub impactor hit earth with a relatively low relative speed of (let's say) 3 mph"''<br />
<div align="right">—Beni von Alemann</div><br />
|Even though the meteor is slow, it's still very big. The impactor would not create a crater, but would instead create a weird effect which makes the rock flow like water, creating a large 'space dirt pancake' about the same diameter as the Chicxulub impact Crater. If {{w|Jurassic Park}} were a real place, it could certainly cause a dinosaur extinction over there, if dropped on it. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|19}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Elemental Worlds'''<br />
|''"What if Mercury (the planet) were entirely made of mercury (the element)? What if Ceres was made of cerium? Uranus made of uranium? Neptune made of neptunium? What about Pluto made of plutonium?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|Earth would (mostly) be fine. Mercury, uranium, neptunium, plutonium, and cerium would all replace the old planets. Changes are as follows:<br />
*Pluto would be visible to the naked eye<br />
*Ceres would be visible to the naked eye<br />
*Mercury would be visible to the naked eye<br />
*Uranus would be a fairly bight star<br />
*''When Neptune hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's an x-ray..''<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|20}}<br />
| <!-- i think there was a minutephysics video about this question --><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Tire Rubber'''<br />
|''"Rubber tires on millions of cars and trucks start with about ½" tread and end up bald. Rubber should be everywhere, or at least our highways should be made thicker. Where's the rubber?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Fred</div><br />
|An average tire sheds about 1.6 liters of rubber over the course of its lifetime (from new to bald). If all tire rubber stuck to the road, it would rise by about a third of a millimeter per year. However, most tire rubber shavings are small enough to drift through the air, or for rain and wind to wash them off the road. Tire rubber is more than enough to cause environmental disruption and it's one of the leading causes of microplastics in our oceans. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|25}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="10"|<br />
|rowspan="10"|'''Short Answers #3'''<br />
|''"How long do you think two people would have to kiss continuously before they had no lips left?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Asli</div><br />
|That's not how lips work<br />
|rowspan="10"|<br />
|rowspan="10"{{book|2|26.5}} (S3)<br />
|rowspan="10"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"My college friend and I have had this debate for years now: If you put a million hungry ants in a glass cube with one human, who's more likely to walk out alive?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Eric Bowman</div><br />
|Both the human and the ants would go after the person who put them in the glass box.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if all of humanity set all of their differences aside and work together to level out the Earth into a perfect sphere?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Erik Andersen</div><br />
|This would quickly create new differences.<br />
|-<br />
|''"People talk a lot about a space elevator or a building that would reach into low orbit to save time and resources getting things into space. This is going to sound incredibly stupid, but why has no one proposed building a road into space? Since orbit is generally considered to be 62 miles out, would it be possible to build a 62-mile-high mountain somewhere in the United States? Colorado would be my suggestion, since it has a low population density and is about a mile above sea level already."''<br />
<div align="right">—Brian</div><br />
|Where are you going to get the materials to build the mountain? Also, Colorado has a lot of people in it.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If I shot a rocket and a bullet through Jupiter's center, would they come out the other side?"''<br />
<div align="right">—James Wilson</div><br />
|No, as the leading theory is that Jupiter has a solid core. Shooting a bullet through the center would simply cause the bullet to collide with the core of the planet.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if Mount Everest magically turned into pure lava? What would happen to life; would we all die?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ian</div><br />
|We would mostly be okay.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Can you fall down into the Mariana Trench, or would you just swim over it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rodolfo Estrella</div><br />
|You can do both of those things<br />
|-<br />
|''"I play Dungeons & Dragons, and my DM doesn't want to let us use the Gust of Wind spell to push wind into the sails of a ship and make it move. Her argument is that you can't use this spell to move a ship because someone on a sailboat can't aim a fan at the sail to propel the boat. We argue that since the spell doesn't push you backward when you use it, then we should be able to use it to make the ship sail. She says she'll allow it only if you say so."''<br />
<div align="right">—Georgia Paterson and Allison Adams</div><br />
|Since the spell doesn't push you backwards, it should work. If the spell pushed you backwards, you would just have to aim the spell backwards.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if I struck a match on Titan? Would it light if there's no oxygen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ethan Fitzgibbon</div><br />
| While the match would light initially due to the small amount of oxidizer in a matchhead (typically {{w|potassium chlorate}}, in a safety match), it would quickly dissipate due to the lack of oxygen to titan's atmosphere.<br />
|-<br />
|''"I posted a question on social media asking what would be the smallest change that would create the biggest disaster. One of the responses I got said "if every atom gained 1 proton." So my question for you is, what would happen if every atom gained 1 proton?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Olivia Caputo</div><br />
|That would not be a small change.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Suction Aquarium'''<br />
|''"When I was a child, I discovered that if I took a container into the swimming pool, i could fill it with water and then bring the container (open-end down) to the surface of the water, and the water level in my container was higher than the water level in the pool. What would happen if you tried to do this with a giant container and the ocean? Could you create a giant aquarium on top of the water that the animals could swim in and out of freely? Maybe an irregularly shaped container that you would walk around on to get closer to the fish?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Caroline Collett</div><br />
|It would work, but the water level would slowly lower back to sea level over time. However, this process can be accelerated by whale farts. I am not joking.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|27}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Earth Eye'''<br />
|''"If the Earth were a massive eye, how far would it see?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alasdir</div><br />
|Its 'resolution' would be over 500 million times better than a normal human eye. It would be able to see the color of a shirt worn on Mars. It could also see incredibly far objects, such as some of the most distant galaxies that haven't been {{w|redshift}}ed to the point of being infrared. However, a planet-sized eye would be inconvenient, as it would certainly go blind from the Sun and could be damaged from nearby stars as well.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|28}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''<br />
|''"How many people would it take to build Rome in a day?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Lauren</div><br />
| It would take anywhere between 15 minutes and 150 minutes with the whole Earth working.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|29}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''<br />
|''"If I put an indestructible 20-meter-wide glass tube in the ocean that goes all the way down to the deepest part of the ocean, what would it be like to stand at the bottom? Assuming the sun goes directly overhead."''<br />
<div align="right">—Zoki Čulo</div><br />
|You would likely see many new and undiscovered species. You would also be incredibly cold as the freezing waters of the deep would cool the glass. Getting up would be another problem entirely. If you didn't use an elevator, you could break the glass. That would create a geyser, accelerating you upwards at lethal G-forces. Once you reach the surface, you would fly high into the air before crashing back down into the ocean. Also, you would be heralded as a hero by a lot of marine biologists.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|30}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''MRI Compass'''<br />
|''"Why don't compasses point toward the nearest hospital because of the magnetic fields created by MRI machines?"''<br />
<div align="right">—D. Hughes</div><br />
|They actually do, but only within ~10 meters.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|32}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''<br />
|''"I noticed recently that the number of people within a family tree increases exponentially with each generation: I have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so on. Which got me thinking—are most people descended from the majority of Homo sapiens who have ever lived? If not, what fraction of all the people that have ever lived am I descended from?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Seamus</div><br />
|Likely between 2-3 twenty-fourths of all humans who have ever lived.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|33}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Bird Car'''<br />
|''"I'm a lowly college student stuck in a car without AC. As such, the windows are down most of the time when I'm driving, and I started thinking: If a bird happens to match my speed and direction perfectly, and I swerve to catch the bird in my car ... what happens next, other than an angry bird? Does the bird stay right where it was? Fly into the windshield? Drop into the seat? My roommate and I disagree. Any help settling this would really make all our lives easier."''<br />
<div align="right">—Hunter W.</div><br />
| The bird would fall onto the seat at an angle, and then would fly out of the window (hopefully).<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|34}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''<br />
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen if you put the end of a vacuum hose up to your eye and turned on the vacuum?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kitty Greer</div><br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|35.5}} (W2)<br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"Is it possible to hold your arm straight out of a car window and punch a mailbox clean off its pole? Could you do it without breaking your hand?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ty Gwennap</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"If people's teeth kept growing, but when they were fully grown they come off and are swallowed, how long would it take before it causes any problems?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Valen M.</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"In a defensive situation, how much epinephrine (in a EpiPen) would it take to subdue a possible attacker?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Henry M.</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''<br />
|''"What if my phone was based on vacuum tubes? How big would it be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Johnny</div><br />
| The phone would be about the size of one to five city blocks, and would melt its way through the Earth's crust. Conversely, the UNIVAC constructed with modern electrical components would be smaller than a grain of salt.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|36}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Eat a Cloud'''<br />
|''"Could a person eat a whole cloud?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tak</div><br />
|Not unless you can squeeze the air out first. If you don't you will burp out more cloud than you ate.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|38}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Tall Sunsets'''<br />
|''"Let's say that two people of different heights (159 cm and 206 cm) stand beside each other while looking at the sunset. How much longer will the taller person be able to see the sun than the shorter one?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rasmus Bunde Nielson</div><br />
|Over a second longer.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|39}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''<br />
|''"Suppose everyone with a fridge or a freezer opened them at the same time, outdoors. Would that amount of cooling be able to noticeably change the temperature? If not, how many fridges would it take to lower the temperature, say, 5 degrees F? What about even lower?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nicholas Mittica</div><br />
|Refrigerators don't work like that, and would likely increase global temperatures by 0.3 degrees celsius. The infinite spite of Hades is surprisingly green.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|41}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Basketball Earth'''<br />
|''"You know how when you spin a basketball on your finger you hit the side to make it go faster and balance it? If a meteor passes close enough to the earth, can it make the Earth spin faster like your hand does the basketball?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Zayne Freshley</div><br />
|Yes.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|43}}<br />
|<br />
|- <!-- my shift keys started acting up here, so expect some capitalization errors --><br />
|<br />
|'''Inhale a Person'''<br />
|''"If house dust comprises up to 80 percent dead skin, how many people worth of skin does a person consume/inhale in a lifetime?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Greg</div><br />
|You could inhale at most 3 gallons of human skin in a lifetime, and dust is not mostly dead skin. Instead it is a cursed salad of soil, pollen, cotton fibers, crumbs, powdered sugar, glitter, pet hair and dander, plastic, soot, human or animal hair, flour, glass, smoke, mites, and various miscellaneous gunk. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|45}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''<br />
|''"How many Wint-O-Green Life Savers would it take to create a life-size lightning bolt if you crushed them"''<br />
<div align="right">—Violet M.</div><br />
|Billions<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|46}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="13"|<br />
|rowspan="13"|'''Short Answers #4'''<br />
|''"Can humans safely eat rabid creatures?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Winston</div><br />
|No.<br />
|rowspan="13"|<br />
|rowspan="13"{{book|2|46.5}} (S4)<br />
|rowspan="13"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if the Earth's core suddenly stopped producing heat?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Laura</div><br />
|We would be mostly fine. While one may picture a scenario similar to ''The Core'', the difference would only be noticed long after you're gone, so you don't really need to worry about it :)<br />
|-<br />
|''"Could humanity, with our current technology, destroy the Moon?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tyler</div><br />
|No.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Can global warming cause the Earth's magnetic fields to weaken?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Pavaki</div><br />
|No.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you used a laser, would you be able to bake something?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Andrew Liu</div><br />
|Yes.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if Earth was sliced in half, like an apple? Where should you be such that you have the best chance of survival?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|You should be holding the object that's slicing the Earth.<!-- The answer here is just a picture, this is an attempt at describing how I see it --><br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if a person dropped into a pool full of jellyfish?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Lorenzo Belotti</div><br />
|It depends on the species.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Would it be possible to make a house floor into a massive air hockey table, so you could move heavy furniture across the room?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jacob Wood</div><br />
|Yes, and now I know what my next home improvement project will be.<br />
|-<br />
|''"My 7-year-old son asked us over dinner recently at which point potatoes melt (I assume in a vacuum). Please advise."''<br />
<div align="right">—Steffen</div><br />
|Potatoes don't really melt at any temperature. Also, do you automatically add 'in a vacuum' to anything your son says?<br />
|-<br />
|''"Would a pigeon be able to make it to space if it was not affected by gravity?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div><br />
|No. The air in the upper atmosphere is too thin to breathe and too cold<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you were flying blind through the Milky Way what would be the odds of hitting a star or planet?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David</div><br />
|If you flew edge-on, it would be about 1 in 10 billion.<br />
|-<br />
|''"On various bodies in our Solar System (feel free to group any that are equivalent), roughly how long could you survive on the surface (for gas giants, assume you are on a magical platform at some point in the atmosphere that you could reasonably treat as the surface) with nothing but an infinite air supply and warm winter clothing? That is, no helmet, no pressure suit, just a nose-and-mouth air mask attached to a magic air generator, and clothing that would be suitable for, say, Chicago in winter. (No cute tricks like using the magic air supply to generate heat or whatever.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Melissa Trible</div><br />
|<br />
*Earth: 100-ish years<br />
*Venus: Weeks to months<br />
*Everywhere else: Minutes to hours<br />
Venus would be great if it weren't for the sulfuric acid.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if someone dropped an anvil on you from space?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sam Stiehl</div><br />
|About the same as if someone dropped an anvil on you from a building.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Toasty Warm'''<br />
|''"What if I want to heat my house using toasters. How many do I need?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Peter Ahlström</div><br />
|Not many, because the house would quickly catch on fire.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|47}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Eyeball'''<br />
|''"If I pulled out my eyeball and aimed it so that it was looking into my other eyeball, what would I see (assuming the nerves and veins remain undamaged)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Lenka</div><br />
|You would see an eye superimposed with your head and the background of the room overlapping.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|49}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''<br />
|''"If ALL of Japan's islands disappear, would it affect Earth's natural phenomena (plates, oceans, hurricanes, climate, and so on)?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Miyu Uchida</div><br />
|It could shift the Earth's center of mass and axis of rotation by a foot. Sea level could also rise by up to a foot and a half in some areas. Ocean circulation in the Pacific could also be impacted.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|50}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Read All the Laws'''<br />
|''"If a person wanted to read all of the governing documents that apply to them—from the federal and state constitutions, treaties, agency-issued regulations, federal and state laws, local ordinances, etc.—how many pages would they have to read?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Keith Yearman</div><br />
|Between 145000 and 12.3 million pages.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|52}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="3"|<br />
|rowspan="3"|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''<br />
|colspan="2"|''"If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Stella Wohnig</div><br />
|rowspan="3"|<br />
|rowspan="3"{{book|2|52.5}} (W3)<br />
|rowspan="3"|<br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen to you if a colony of ants suddenly appeared in you bloodstream all at once?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Matt, on behalf of Declan</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"If Harry Potter forgets where the invisible entrance to Platform 9¾ is, how long would he have to crash into walls randomnly before discovering it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Max Planker</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Snowball'''<br />
|''"What if I tried to roll a snowball from the top of Mount Everest? How big would the snowball be by the time it reached the bottom and how long would it take?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michaeline Yates</div><br />
|It would remain about the same size, or it could cause an avalanche. Since the peak of {{w|Mount Everest}} is above the clouds, it is very dry there. For a snowball to grow, wet snow is required. The result would be similar to rolling a hamburger down. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|54}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''<br />
|''"What if you decided to walk from Austin, Texas, to New York City, but every step takes you back thirty days?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jojo Yawson</div><br />
| The sky would flicker at 50 Hz, and you would arrive around 300,000 years in the past.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|56}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Ammonia Tube'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you fed ammonia into your stomach through a tube? How fast must the flow rate be to burn your stomach from the heat released? What would the newly created chlorine gas do to your stomach?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Becca</div><br />
|There would be direct tissue damage, and other horrifying effects.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|57}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="7"|<br />
|rowspan="7"|'''Short Answers #5'''<br />
|''"Could life evolve in a constantly running microwave?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Abby Doth</div><br />
|No.<br />
|rowspan="7"|<br />
|rowspan="7"{{book|2|58.5}} (S5)<br />
|rowspan="7"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"Tonight at my work as an ER nurse in the emergency room, a patient (high on methamphetamine) asked for a cup of water. I returned with a paper cup of water, which the patient promptly threw at my head, missing me but hitting the wall in such an improbable way that the open top of the cup impacted the wall and the cup contained/diminished most of the subsequent splatter. It occurred to me that it might be possible to throw a cup of water hard enough that the container of water would go through the wall. Is this possible?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Pete</div><br />
|Anything will go through a wall if you throw it hard enough<br />
|-<br />
|''"How slow would you have to chew in order to be able to infinitely consume breadsticks?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Miller Broughton</div><br />
|You would have to divide each breadstick into 20 bites, chewing each bite 200 times at 1 chew per second.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you were somehow to remove the white and yolk from inside an eggshell (chicken), and replace them with helium, would the eggshell float in the air?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Elizabeth</div><br />
|No. An eggshell weighs more than the air it displaces.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would stars smell like, if it were possible to smell them?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Finn Ellis</div><br />
|Due to the free hydrogen molecules floating around in there, it would taste incredibly sour. It would also smell like burning rubber, as stars are made up of the same components.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What is the average size for every man-made object on the planet?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Max Carver</div><br />
|Not too big, not too small. About average.<br />
|-<br />
|''"E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E"''<!-- 960 E's --><br />
<div align="right">—Nate Yu</div><br />
|I feel you, Nate.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Dog Overload'''<br />
|''"Assuming 1 out of every 4 people has a 5-year-old dog, and the dog reproduces once every year, with 5 puppies, and the puppies start reproducing at 5 and stop at 15 and die at 20, how long would it take for the Earth to be flooded with puppies, assuming we have all the food, water, and oxygen to sustain them?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Griffin</div><br />
|This is unrealistic right from the start. This assumes the total dog population is 2 billion, which is well above current estimates. A timeline of major events and milestones is listed below. <br />
*After one year, there are enough dogs for everyone to have at least one.<br />
*After 5 years, every human has an average of 6 or 7 dogs. <br />
*After 11 years, Disney releases ''101 Dalmations per Capita'', after there are 101 dogs per person<br />
*After 15 years, the first dogs die, but the death is fully insignificant.<br />
*After 20 years, dogs would only be about 1 meter apart on average.<br />
*After 25-30 years, the dogs begin to stack.<br />
*At about 40 years, the exponential growth is "stable". The population is multiplying by about 1.6578 each year.<br />
*After 65 years, the population of dogs reaches 1 mol<br />
*After 110 years, the dogs start to undergo relativistic collapse<br />
*After 150 years, the dogs are bigger than the solar system.<br />
*After 197 years, the expansion of the dog sphere surpasses 1''c''<br />
*After 200 years, the dogs reach sirius.<br />
*After 250 years, the dogs envelop the milky way.<br />
*After 330 years, the dogs reach the edge of the observable universe.<br />
*After 417 years, Disney releases ''10<sup>101</sup> Dalmations.''<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|60}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Sunscreen'''<br />
|''"Assuming that SPF works as it purports, what SPF would you need for a 1-hour trip to the surface of the sun?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brian and Max Parker</div><br />
|You would need SPF 3,200,000 or a giant blob of sunscreen.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|62}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Walking on the Sun'''<br />
|''"After the Sun runs out of fuel, it will become a white dwarf and slowly cool. When will it be cool enough to touch?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jabari Garland</div><br />
|The Sun will cool to room temperature in about 20 billion years. However, survival would not be an option.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|63}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''<br />
|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Shuo Peskoe-Yang</div><br />
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|64}}<br />
| <br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Bonus Chapter'''<br />
|''"..<!-- This is how it's written in the book, don't turn it into an ellipsis -->.but what if we tried even ''more'' power?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div><br />
| This is a continuation of {{what if|13|13: Laser Pointer}}. Adding even more power than the end of that article would heat the air so much that the lasers would stop themselves long before reaching the Moon. Even if we managed to get them to hit the Moon, the plasma created would be so hot that it would stop anyway.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|3|70}}<br />
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
<br />
<span id="Editors"><big><big>'''Editors'''</big></big></span> ㅤ ''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''<br />
<br />
<big>'''Add name of reader who asked the question.'''</big><br />
<br />
Here's how to add the name(s) to any question on the table. For example, this...<br />
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''<br />
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki><br />
... becomes this:<br />
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''<br />
<div align="right"></nowiki>'''—'''<font color="SeaGreen">'''''InsertNamesHere'''''</font><nowiki></div><br />
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki><br />
Copy the code and replace the green part! (NOTE: It uses the em-dash, not a normal hyphen, so don't replace the dash, or use <code>&amp;mdash;</code>.) Transcribe it exactly as it is written on the website or book, including parenthesis and age, if given by Randall. '''Protip for desktop users:''' the text looks ALL CAPS on the site, but if you copy and paste it, it's in normal Sentence Case. You can simply copy and paste.<br />
<br />
<big>'''Add YouTube video'''</big><br />
<br />
<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''</font>|VIDEO-TITLE}}<br />
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''2022'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''12'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''31'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''</font>}}<br />
<br />
<big>'''Add book chapter'''</big><br />
<br />
For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:<br />
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''1'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}<br />
<br />
For the second [[What If? 2]] book:<br />
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}<br />
<br />
'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''69'''''</font>}}<br />
<br />
If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:<br />
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''3'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}<br />
<noinclude><br />
<br />
<big>'''Link to a ''what if?'' article'''</big><br />
<br />
On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:<br />
<br />
'''EXAMPLE:'''<br />
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''158'''''</ins></font>|<font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins></font>}}<nowiki>''</nowiki>.<br />
'''RESULTS IN:'''<br />
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.<br />
<br />
NOTE: Since the blog releases are now random, please write a comment on [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}#Discussion|the newest comic's talk page]] to announce that a new ''what if?'' article is out.<br />
<br />
''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''<br />
<noinclude><br />
<span id="bottom"></span><br />
{| style="border: 1px solid {{{border|gray}}}; background-color: {{{color|#fdffe7}}};"<br />
|rowspan="2" style="vertical-align:middle;" | {{{{{|safesubst:}}}#ifeq:{{{2}}}|alt|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]}}<br />
|rowspan="2" |<br />
|style="font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;" | '''The What If? Project Barnstar'''<br />
|-<br />
|style="vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;" | <div style="font-family: Cormorant Garamond"><span style="font-size:5pt;color:black"><br />
<br />
* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">'''&nbsp;✓'''</span><big>&nbsp;'''Added:&nbsp;'''</big></span> All ~140 book-exclusive articles, each color-coded by book; reader question and Randall's answer for almost all ~70 [[What If? 2]]-exclusive articles; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].<br />
<br />
* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">'''&nbsp;✓'''</span><big>&nbsp;'''Changes:&nbsp;'''</big></span> Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted!<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Great Job to everyone who helped out on this project! If you helped out explain the articles or build the table, feel free to sign here: '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 17:44, 14 February 2025 (UTC), [[User:WriterArtistCoder|WriterArtistCoder]]<sup>[[User talk:WriterArtistCoder|talk to me]]</sup> 21:56, 11 March 2025 (UTC), [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:53, 12 March 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=what_if%3F_articles&diff=377544what if? articles2025-05-12T12:25:40Z<p>Mushrooms: did a few summaries & removed the tags, but would still recommend someone checks them over</p>
<hr />
<div><noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''What If?'' chapters}}:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''</noinclude><br />
==Article index==<br />
<big>Thanks to a TON of work by [[Talk:What If? chapters|so many people]], the ''what if?'' index has been [[What If? chapters#bottom|completely rebuilt]]! But we still need to finish a few things:</big><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color:#ffc7c7;"><span style="color:red; font-size:1.4em;">'''&nbsp;'''</span><big>&nbsp;'''Things left to do:&nbsp;'''</big></span>&nbsp; ''(If you need help editing the table, check out the '''''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]'''''! It includes a simple summary of the templates' documentations.)''<br />
<br />
*'''We mostly only need to work on the explanations now!''' Add them for the articles that don't have one and improve the existing ones (they should be a summary of the answer, not just 1-2 sentences).<br />
*Need to finish explaining the exclusive chapters in the ''What If?'' books! [[#162|Click here to jump to the book-exclusive chapters]].<br />
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<br />
<!--<div style="display:none;">__TOC__</div>-->This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. For each article, the original question and a summary of Randall's answer are provided. If an article is available on the blog, you can click the title to read it in full. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive articles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive archive section] of the blog.<noinclude><br />
[[Category:Incomplete explanations| ]]{{notice|<u>The incomplete answers below will look like this.</u> <br>There are about '''32''' incomplete explanations below, and [[#162|many more are missing]]!}}<br />
</noinclude><br />
{| class="sortable wikitable"<br />
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail<br />
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title<br />
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Reader's question<br />
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Randall's answer<br />
! colspan="3"| Article available in... <noinclude><!--</noinclude><span style="background-color:#FFFF00;"><noinclude>--></noinclude>&nbsp;''(click to sort)''&nbsp;<noinclude><!--</noinclude></span><noinclude>--></noinclude><br />
|-<br />
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog<br />
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books<br />
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ellen McManis</div><br />
|The ball would create plasma and reach home plate in about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.<br />
|{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}<br />
|{{book|1|2}}<br />
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|2|SAT Guessing}}'''<br />
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rob Balder</div><br />
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every ex-living president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day.<br />
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}<br />
|{{book|1|66}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|3|Yoda}}'''<br />
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ryan Finnie</div><br />
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.<br />
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}<br />
|{{book|1|32}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sean Rice</div><br />
|In physics, a {{w|mole (unit)|mole}} is a number that equals approximately 6.022 × 10<sup>23</sup>. If this amount of moles (the furry animals) were put in space, they would form a sphere a little bit larger than our Moon with about the same gravity as Pluto. The surface would freeze and trap the interior warmth, causing geysers of hot meat and methane.<br />
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}<br />
|{{book|1|10}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''<br />
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rob Lombino</div><br />
|Humanity would most likely survive. Most robots can easily be subdued because technology hasn’t been developed enough to allow them to walk, evade being destroyed, and kill us efficiently. They could decide to use our nuclear weapons, but that would hurt them more than us.<br />
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''<br />
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Vittorio Iacovella</div><br />
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.<br />
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}<br />
|{{book|1|26}}<br />
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|7|Everybody Out}}'''<br />
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Adam</div><br />
|No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind. The best way to do it is either with a space tether or to ride the shockwave of a nuclear bomb, but the former lacks a good material and the latter is literally ''riding the shockwave of a nuclear bomb''. In any case, highly impractical.<br />
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}<br />
|{{book|1|35}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|8|Everybody Jump}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Thomas Bennett (and many others)</div><br />
|Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out due to everyone trying to get home at the same time.<br />
|{{blog|8|2012|08|21}}<br />
|{{book|1|9}}<br />
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|9|Soul Mates}}'''<br />
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Benjamin Staffin</div><br />
|Almost nobody would find their soul mate, so most people would probably fake love, due to the difficult nature of finding true love and staying with someone.<br />
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}<br />
|{{book|1|6}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|10|Cassini}}'''<br />
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Socke</div><br />
|Hard to tell with any sort of certainty, but North America remains the same (just flipped, so Canada is tropical), South America becomes more like Europe before this question, Asia is flipped just like North America was, Europe becomes more like southeast Asia, Africa's climate is essentially rotated 90 degrees and East Africa gets a lot more tornadoes, Australia is colder and wetter, and Antarctica becomes a tropical rainforest. Of course, the biosphere collapses due to the shuffling and the ice caps (prematurely) melt, while also making certain wildlife appear elsewhere than normal.<br />
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}<br />
|<br />
|{{book|23|2025|04|01|WH4g1ptJ-70|What if the Earth rotated 90 degrees?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|11|Droppings}}'''<br />
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Adrienne Olson</div><br />
|{{notice|I'm assuming the last sentence of this is saying: "if you're under a tree → a few hours. If not → much much more than 195 yrs." Needs to be explained better.}}Assuming an even distribution of all birds across the Earth's surface and an hourly pooping frequency, it would take you about 195 years. However, those assumptions are unrealistic: it'd probably be more likely a matter of hours if you were laying under a tree or something.<br />
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|12|Raindrop}}'''<br />
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael McNeill</div><br />
|The surrounding area would be obliterated via the violent rush of crushing water, causing flash flooding in the surrounding area. There would be mass confusion for many following years.<br />
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}<br />
|{{book|1|65}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|13|Laser Pointer}}'''<br />
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Peter Lipowicz</div><br />
|It would take lots of power, but yes, assuming you want to drain the Earth's oil and cover Asia in megawatt lasers. Going even further in power level fries the Earth and launches the Moon into the solar system.<br />
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}<br />
|{{book|1|7}}<br />
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]<br />
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|14|Short Answer Section}}'''<br />
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Austin Dickey</div><br />
|The Sun would actually burn brighter due to water being mostly hydrogen (main fusion fuel of stars) and eventually become a black hole with all the mass of the water.<br />
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}<br />
| rowspan="7" |<br />
| rowspan="7" |<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Chase Montgomery</div><br />
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jimmy Morey</div><br />
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.<br />
|-<br />
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Aidan Blake</div><br />
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.<br />
|-<br />
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Yitzi Turniansky</div><br />
|The {{w|Doppler Effect}} is when waves (such as light or sound) change based on movement or position. You would need to go about one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jake G.</div><br />
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.<br />
|-<br />
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''<br />
<div align="right">—R. D.</div><br />
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''<br />
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Evin Sellin</div><br />
|Surprisingly, not much! Large waves already disappear quickly when created by surface explosions, and moving the detonation underwater only lessens the effect. If you exploded a Tsar Bomba at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the resulting eruption would create massive bubbles before turning into warm water and debris. <br />
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}<br />
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|-<br />
| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]<br />
| rowspan="6" |'''{{What If|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''<br />
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jay Gengelbach</div><br />
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.<br />
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}<br />
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|19|Lightning}}<br />
| rowspan="6" |<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Same3Chords</div><br />
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Soobnauce</div><br />
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Danny Wedul</div><br />
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up. These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Timothy Campbell</div><br />
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''<br />
<div align="right">—NJSG</div><br />
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|17|Green Cows}}'''<br />
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|They would need 4% less food. There simply isn't enough area on the cow for photosynthesis to provide all its energy requirements.<br />
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}<br />
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|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|18|BB Gun}}'''<br />
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Charles James O'Keefe</div><br />
|100,000 shooters distributed over 2 kilometers of track, each firing a few dozen rounds as the train comes near them.<br />
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|19|Tie Vote}}'''<br />
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nate Silver (<span class="plainlinks">[https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/154434288287363072 '''Twitter, January 4th, 2012''']</span>)</div><br />
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.<br />
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|20|Diamond}}'''<br />
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Aidan Smith, Age 8, via his father Jeff</div><br />
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the {{w|Oh-My-God particle}}), the Earth would explode with enough force to obliterate the entire Solar System.<br />
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}<br />
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|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''<br />
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rob B</div><br />
|You'd need a Russian 30 mm rotary cannon to do it optimally, and the excessive force would definitely hurt you. If you braced the rider, created an aerodynamic craft strong enough to survive the acceleration, and cooled the craft, you'd be able to jump mountains.<br />
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}<br />
|{{book|1|14|Machine-Gun Jetpack}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''<br />
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Leto Atreides</div><br />
|140,000 miles if gas was the only cost involved. The exercise of picking up the penny can prolong your lifespan, but you've wasted valuable seconds reading this article.<br />
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}<br />
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| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]<br />
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''<br />
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Derek O’Brien</div><br />
| You'd make 200 million dollars a year, so no.<br />
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}<br />
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}<br />
| rowspan="7" |<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rupert Bainbridge (and hundreds of others)</div><br />
|No. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has [https://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd-faq/#hurricane-mitigation:~:text=Stop%20a%20Hurricane%3F-,Nuclear%20Weapons,-Adding%20Hygroscopic%20Particles has published a response] explaining why it wouldn't work.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Damien</div><br />
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Seamus Johnson</div><br />
|About 24 characters.<br />
|-<br />
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David Nai</div><br />
|You'd have to bike at 200 m/s, but you'd fry alive from overexerting your body.<br />
|-<br />
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Max L</div><br />
|Using humanity's total produced storage space from the last few years as an upper bound, and assuming 3.5" drives, the Internet is less than the size of an oil tank.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Chad Macziewski</div><br />
|Aerodynamics aside, you'd have a bomb that comes back if you miss.<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|24|Model Rockets}}'''<br />
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Greg Schock, PA</div><br />
|It would take about 65,000, but they’d have to be layered in a cone shape with about 30 stages so the vehicle has thrust for long enough. It could carry 60 kg, much of that spent on all the parts of the rocket that aren't the engine.<br />
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}<br />
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|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|25|Three Wise Men}}'''<br />
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''<br />
<div align="right">—N. Murdoch</div><br />
|No, but the paths they would take would make some really cool patterns due to various factors, such as the Earth's rotation and its position changing in its orbit around the Sun.<br />
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}<br />
|<br />
|{{book|22|2025|03|04|YL2VNtus4xk|What if the wise men kept walking after Jesus’s birth?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|26|Leap Seconds}}'''<br />
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anton (Berlin, Germany)</div><br />
|The only real way to do this is by hitting Earth with asteroids; all other ideas would be too difficult or wouldn’t work. With 50,000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds (mostly because it would deliver the energy of about one dinosaur-killer asteroid every couple days, wiping out life on Earth quite quickly)<br />
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|27|Death Rates}}'''<br />
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Guy Petzall</div><br />
|The world population would continue to grow, though 40% more slowly. Pilots, drivers, and surgeons would die en route and mid-operation, but these would be comparable to usual accident rates and handled fairly easily.<br />
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|28|Steak Drop}}'''<br />
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alex Lahey</div><br />
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked, as the steak will have to pass through parts of the atmosphere that are freezing cold and the parts of the fall where heat is being applied are more likely to char and disintegrate the steak than cook it.<br />
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}<br />
|{{book|1|23}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''<br />
|''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jonathan Bastien-Filiatrault</div><br />
|As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool, as the guards would notice and shoot you to death.<br />
|{{blog|29|2013|01|22}}<br />
|{{book|1|3}}<br />
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Glen Chiacchieri</div><br />
|It would be difficult to fly on Mars, so you would crash. The gas giants also have this problem, and you would freeze and tumble. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold and Venus is full of sulfuric acid.<br />
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}<br />
|{{book|1|30}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''<br />
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Johan Öbrink</div><br />
|Probably never, unless the Internet's transfer rate grows faster than storage rates, the Internet won't surpass an army of FedEx trucks. However, the ping times would be ''absurd''.<br />
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}<br />
|{{book|1|44}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|32|Hubble}}'''<br />
|''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kyle Rankin</div><br />
|Very blurry because Hubble isn't able to rotate fast enough to track it on the surface of the Earth. Hubble is the wrong tool for the job, you're thinking of a spy satellite.<br />
|{{blog|32|2013|02|12}}<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|33|Ships}}'''<br />
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Toje</div><br />
|The sea level would fall by about 6 microns, slightly more than the diameter of a strand of spider silk. However, since the oceans are currently rising at about 3.3 millimeters per year due to global warming, the water would be back up to its original average level in 16 hours.<br />
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|34|Twitter}}'''<br />
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Eric H., Hopatcong, NJ</div><br />
|Since there are 2 * 10<sup>46</sup> meaningful English tweets, reading them all would take 10,000 "eternal years", with an eternal day being the length of time needed to wear down a mountain if a bird scraped 1 grain every thousand years.<br />
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}<br />
|{{book|1|50}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|35|Hair Dryer}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nathan Terrell</div><br />
|The box would heat until the ground starts melting, and going further, it would eventually create updrafts and bounce around everywhere. Turning it off and on again would launch it out of the sky in glowing fury.<br />
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}<br />
|{{book|1|11}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|36|Cornstarch}}'''<br />
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anna R., Fort Wayne, IN</div><br />
|It depends what you consider unpleasant. Your sink will clog and your house will flood with oobleck, but if you really really like cornstarch then nothing unpleasant will happen.<br />
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''<br />
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tim Currie</div><br />
|Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes. Although you’d only get it supersonic for less than a second, and the music would be heavily compressed after the sonic boom.<br />
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|38|Voyager}}'''<br />
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Elliot Bennett</div><br />
|You could ''reach'' Voyager I with some well-timed gravity assists from Jupiter and Saturn, but getting back would require an ''absurd'' amount of fuel. You could use ion fields to require less fuel, but they also produce less thrust.<br />
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|39|Hockey Puck}}'''<br />
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tom</div><br />
|This can't really happen, due to the size and weight difference between the goalie and a hockey puck. You'd need to fire an object at Mach 8 to knock the goalie back, but firing a puck at that speed would char the puck while air resistance would slow it down. If you actually did fire a hockey puck at a goalie at high speeds, it would have the same effect as hitting a cake with a tomato as hard as you can.<br />
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}<br />
|{{book|1|24}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''<br />
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Delphine Lourtau</div><br />
|Ordinarily, the worst that can happen is the lid blowing off and superheated liquid spraying everywhere, but you can use one to make {{w|Dioxygen difluoride}}, which is much worse.<br />
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|41|Go West}}'''<br />
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Derek</div><br />
|No. While technically the car fleet would outpace the continental drift, the continental drift is being powered by the forces in the Earth's mantle, and these forces outmatch the car fleet by millions of times.<br />
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|42|Longest Sunset}}'''<br />
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Berg</div><br />
|The longest way you can experience a sunset is by driving on certain roads in Norway and Finland for 95 minutes, as this is where the best method to outpace the Sun works (outpacing {{w|Terminator (solar)|the terminator}}). A similar concept has been explored in comic [[162: Angular Momentum]].<br />
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}<br />
|{{book|1|52}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|43|Train Loop}}'''<br />
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Gero Walter</div><br />
|Even if we change the requirements to just the passengers surviving, this isn't plausible. A train can't complete a full loop without the loop being too small, making the train move too fast and making every passenger die from the g-forces involved.<br />
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|44|High Throw}}'''<br />
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Irish Dave on the Isle of Man</div><br />
|Using estimations and aerodynamics calculations, Aroldis Champman (holder of the record for fastest pitch) could probably throw up to 16 giraffes high if he was using a golf ball. Unless you count letting go of balloons, of course.<br />
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}<br />
|{{book|1|38}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|45|ISS Music Video}}'''<br />
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Various Yout<!-- don't change it, that's how it's written on the site -->ube commenters</div><br />
|No. If the construction cost of the setpiece is how this is measured, then it would be U2's "Last Night on Earth" on a section of Interstate Highway. If not, then it doesn't even come close to Thriller.<br />
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|46|Bowling Ball}}'''<br />
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Seth C.</div><br />
|A bowling ball the size of the Earth would be much less dense, and have much less gravity. Due to this, the finger holes would collapse. causing eruptions of hydrocarbons and scars similar to those on the Moon.<br />
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''<br />
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Chuck H.</div><br />
|They wouldn't be able to see us very well. Radio waves fade quickly in space and we've stopped sending out as many of them. If they happened to pick up, they would only get a message similar to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal Wow! Signal]. The best message they could see is visible light, as the water and weather on Earth's surface would be a telltale marker of some form of life.<br />
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}<br />
|{{book|1|28}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''<br />
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kurt Amundson</div><br />
|If the British Empire kept the borders it had when the question was written, it would continue to experience eternal sunshine for many thousands of years until a total eclipse hits the Pitcairn Islands at the right time. However, after the publication of this article, it has been announced that [https://www.mondayeconomist.com/p/british-empire#:~:text=On%20March%2021st%2C%202025%2C%20a,part%20of%20the%20British%20Empire the British Indian Ocean Territory will become part of Mauritus] in March 2025, allowing the Sun to finally set on the British Empire.<br />
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}<br />
|{{book|1|60}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|49|Sunless Earth}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Many, many readers</div><br />
|We would see a variety of benefits across our lives such as the elimination of time zones, more reliable satellites, easier astronomy, and safer wild parsnip, but the downside is we would all freeze and die.<br />
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}<br />
|{{book|1|57}}<br />
|{{book|24|2025|04|15|X7sbn9LMZOg| What if the sun suddenly went out?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|50|Extreme Boating}}'''<br />
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nicholas Aron</div><br />
|It would be difficult to row the boat on mercury because it's very dense. Bromine smells terrible and is highly toxic. Gallium would dissolve an aluminium boat. Liquid tungsten would incinerate you instantly. Liquid nitrogen would kill you either by suffocation or hypothermia. Liquid helium's superfluid properties would sink your boat, but at least you'd hear the “third sound” as you die.<br />
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}<br />
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|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|51|Free Fall}}'''<br />
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dhash Shrivathsa</div><br />
|It takes 26 seconds to fall from the top of {{w|Mount Thor}} into a pit of cotton candy at the bottom of the cliff. The record for the longest wingsuit glide is enough time for Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi to eat 45 hot dogs.<br />
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}<br />
|{{book|1|45}}<br />
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|-<br />
|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''<br />
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ginger Bread</div><br />
|Around 3,000,000 balls. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.<br />
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''<br />
|''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ted M.</div><br />
|Hundreds of thousands of years, so you'll need a bigger portal. As their basins are cut off, many shallow seas and a few deep trenches remain, leaving much of Earth still covered with water. Massive, unpredictable environmental changes would probably wipe out mankind. If they didn't, the Dutch would take over the world, no longer preoccupied with preventing their lands from flooding as they are now.<br />
|{{blog|53|2013|07|09}}<br />
|{{book|1|48}}<br />
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''<br />
|''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Iain</div><br />
|The water would fill the {{w|Valles Marineris}}, eventually leaving only {{w|Olympus Mons}} and some other small islands. The sea would ultimately freeze over, become covered in dust, and migrate to permafrost at the poles. In the meantime, the Netherlands would colonize Mars through the portal. The video additionally mentions that the greenhouse gas effects caused by all the new water might keep Mars's oceans liquid.<br />
|{{blog|54|2013|07|16}}<br />
|{{book|1|49}}<br />
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''<br />
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''<br />
<div align="right">—Mimi</div><br />
|The chances they just sneezed are 1 in 40000. There's also a 1 in a billion chance that the person you called just murdered someone, a 1 in 10 trillion chance they've just been killed by lightning, and another 1 in 10 trillion chance that you and the other person called each other simultaneously. <br />
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}<br />
|{{book|1|53}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''<br />
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Connor Childerhose</div><br />
|A steel cable an inch thick, the lines of an army of fishermen, or the hair of 20 people. Hair has the highest tensile strength of any material in your body.<br />
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''<br />
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—John-Clark Levin</div><br />
|An inch or a foot wouldn't do much, it would only feel like a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Dropped from its own height, Denali would cause a magnitude 7 earthquake and crush coal to diamonds. Dropped from space, that's just a large asteroid and it would cause an impact winter.<br />
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}<br />
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|-<br />
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]<br />
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|58|Orbital Speed}}'''<br />
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brian</div><br />
| rowspan="3" |No, because you need to go 8 km/s to stay in orbit, and it would take impossible amounts of fuel to slow down.<br />
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}<br />
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
|-<br />
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Christopher Mallow</div><br />
|-<br />
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kenny Van de Maele</div><br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''<br />
|''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Susanne Könings</div><br />
|You'd need six printers, but if using an ink printer, costs would rack up to $500,000 a month, dwarfing paper and maintenance costs. You'd need to file away past versions in case they were reverted (restored), which would be a nightmare.<br />
|{{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}<br />
|{{book|1|58}}<br />
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|60|Signs of Life}}'''<br />
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Borislav Stanimirov</div><br />
|70% of the time you would end up in the ocean, while most of the rest will be somewhere uninhabited. But if it’s night, you can see satellites just by looking up.<br />
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|61|Speed Bump}}'''<br />
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Myrlin Barber</div><br />
|At highway speeds, you could wreck your tires and suspension. Around 150-300 mph, the aerodynamics of a typical sedan will cause it to flip and crash before even reaching the speed bump. At 90% the speed of light, you could face a billion-dollar speeding ticket.<br />
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}<br />
|{{book|1|41}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|62|Falling With Helium}}'''<br />
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Colin Rowe</div><br />
|You would need a balloon at least 10 to 20 meters across to slow your fall, as well as needing 10 helium tanks that are 250 cubic feet. You'd have to do it really quickly though, and starting from a higher place will not help due to the atmosphere's thinness making you accelerate.<br />
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}<br />
|{{book|1|34}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''<br />
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—James Zetlin</div><br />
|Using electric consumption and datacenter spending as a measuring stick, Google probably has around 1-2 million servers, which equates to around 15 exabytes (or 15,000,000,000,000,000,000 bytes). Assuming a punch card holds 80 characters, all of that data comes out to 4.5 kilometers/2.8 miles, 3x deeper than the New England ice sheets.<br />
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|64|Rising Steadily}}'''<br />
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rebecca B</div><br />
|A nudist would survive for five hours, then succumb to the cold. With a good coat, one would survive for seven, even plausibly eight, until reaching the low-oxygen {{w|death zone}} and suffocating. However, your corpse would outlast the Earth as it was swallowed by the Sun.<br />
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}<br />
|{{book|1|15}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''<br />
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|It's difficult to pin down an "average" for Twitter timeline lengths, but an estimate by Diego Basch and the Tweet rate as of 2013 suggests that the section timeline extending to the past would have 345 billion tweets and be 8,000,000 kilometers (5,000,000 miles) tall. Using extrapolation techniques similar to those used in the {{w|German tank problem}}, the future and past timelines combined would likely contain 690 billion tweets.<br />
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}<br />
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|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|66|500 MPH}}'''<br />
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Grey Flynn, age 7, Stoneham, MA</div><br />
|500 mph winds are more than fast enough to pick up a person and propel them through the air. In fact, 500 mph winds are so fast that they only occur on Earth in extreme situations like the immediate vicinity of an erupting volcano or the aftermath of a major asteroid impact at which point wind speed would only be one of many dangers to human survival.<br />
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|67|Expanding Earth}}'''<br />
|''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dennis O’Donnell</div><br />
|After a month, the gain would be measurable but within the normal variation of gravity. After a year, it would be more prominent at 5%. Humans could survive with difficulty for a decade, but even in specially-built environments, they would succumb within a century as air itself became toxic from atmospheric pressure. After a few centuries, the Moon would fall into the Roche limit and crumble into rings.<br />
|{{blog|67|2013|10|15}}<br />
|{{book|1|55}}<br />
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|68|Little Planet}}'''<br />
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Samantha Harper</div><br />
|Technically, yes. However, there would be major challenges. For one, gravity would be at full strength at your feet, but only 25% strength at your head, giving the illusion that you're being stretched. You would need to sprint at 3 meters per second to leave orbit. However, if you don't make it to that point, you would enter a highly eccentric orbit which would pull on your body in strange ways. Alternatively, you could escape the atmosphere by jumping. If you can make a dunk in basketball on earth, you could escape this body by jumping.<br />
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}<br />
|{{book|1|22}}<br />
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|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''<br />
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Emily Dunham</div><br />
|This depends on if Facebook stays popular or declines in popularity over time. In the former case, the dead would only outnumber the living well into the 2100s; while in the latter, this happens around 2060. Facebook can afford to keep all our data indefinitely, but there are ethical questions.<br />
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}<br />
|{{book|1|59}}<br />
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|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''<br />
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nick Nelson</div><br />
|A normal, standard-issue mower running for 10 hours straight could cut an area of 25,000 square meters, or 27,000 yards. Using a much faster mower commissioned by the magazine ''Top Gear'' that is used all day, every day, it could cut an adult male cougar's home range (which [https://wdfw.wa.gov/species-habitats/species/puma-concolor#:~:text=Adult%20male%20cougars%20roam%20widely,terrain%2C%20and%20availability%20of%20prey. the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife] reports as 50-150 miles or 80-240 kilometers).<br />
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}<br />
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|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|71|Stirring Tea}}'''<br />
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Will Evans</div><br />
|No, not really, It would take at least 1 horsepower (a lot for a person stirring), and reducing the power would just make it cool faster. Stirring faster and faster would cause a vacuum to form and stirring to become ineffective.<br />
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}<br />
|{{book|1|61}}<br />
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|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|72|Loneliest Human}}'''<br />
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Bryan J. McCarter</div><br />
|The most well-document candidates are six Apollo astronauts who ventured behind the dark side of the Moon. Antarctic explorers and pre-colonialism Polynesian explorers have a shot, but there's no good evidence of specific people who beat the Apollo record. Astronauts Mike Collins and Al Worden said they were not at all lonely, the latter even enjoying his soltitude.<br />
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}<br />
|{{book|1|63}}<br />
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|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''<br />
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''<br />
<div align="right">—(Overheard in a physics department)</div><br />
|Neutrinos are subatomic particles that barely interact with the universe at all, so it's hard to imagine a scenario where they could harm you, even in a supernova. But at about 2.3 AU, or a little farther than Mars is from the Sun, even the neutrinos would be dense enough to kill you.<br />
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}<br />
|{{book|1|39}}<br />
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|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|74|Soda Planet}}'''<br />
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brian Roelofs</div><br />
|Humans have likely consumed 6.5 trillion liters or 1.7 trillion gallons of soda ever, based on estimates of population growth and popularity of soda. Assuming humanity has drunk 100 trillion liters (26 trillion gallons) of water, it is reasonable to conclude that only 0.0000005% of Earth's current water reservoir has been turned into a soft drink. However, considering how long water takes to cycle around and certain prehistoric life forms, the water in the average soda was likely once consumed by a dinosaur.<br />
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}<br />
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|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|75|Phone Keypad}}'''<br />
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Stewart Bishop</div><br />
|The English word with the most consecutive letters on the same key is "Nonmonogamous".<br />
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}<br />
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|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|76|Reading Every Book}}'''<br />
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Gregory Willmot</div><br />
|About the 1500s, as the population of active English writers reached a few hundred, meaning you would never be able to catch up (using the average word count for a few famous authors as a baseline). You might not want to read them, anyways.<br />
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}<br />
|{{book|2|10}}<br />
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|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|77|Growth Rate}}'''<br />
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Maria</div><br />
|We would reach 10 to 12 meters at age 20, though the human body is not scalable to those heights, as our bone structure is too thin, while our hearts wouldn't be able to pump the blood around.<br />
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}<br />
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|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|78|T-rex Calories}}'''<br />
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tony Schmitz</div><br />
|Estimates vary, but the T-rex was estimated to need 40,000 calories per day. Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics tells us that the average 80 kg/175 pound human [http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-PERSON&Category_Code=QW contains 110,000 calories]. Therefore, a T-rex would need to eat someone every 2 days or so.<br />
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}<br />
|{{book|2|7|T. Rex Calories}}<br />
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|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|79|Lake Tea}}'''<br />
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alex Burman</div><br />
|An average cup of tea requires 2 grams of tea per 100 mL of water, and to make proper tea out of the Great Lakes, you would need 450 billion tons of tea for the Great Lakes' 22,600 cubic kilometers/5400 cubic miles of water. A total year's supply of tea is only 4.8 million tons, which would make tea about as strong as 2 drops in a bathtub. To make proper lake tea, you could use Wular Lake in Kashmir or Ullswater in UK's lake district, due to the volume of both being small enough for the tea to work.<br />
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}<br />
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|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''<br />
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dave</div><br />
|''Human'' viruses would fill about ten oil drums. ''All'' viruses would form a wet heap the size of a small mountain, with a texture resembling pus or meat slurry.<br />
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}<br />
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|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|81|Catch!}}'''<br />
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''<br />
<div align="right">—Ed Hui, London</div><br />
|Yes, eventually the bullet would come to a maximum height, at which point you could grab the bullet before it fell down. You'd need to grip it firmly, because the bullet would still have it's rotational momentum and might jump out of your hand. A larger bullet would require a larger height to catch it at, and even then, it would still be difficult to grab. Of course, this is illegal and can injure you or other people.<br />
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}<br />
|{{book|2|12}}<br />
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|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|82|Hitting a comet}}'''<br />
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tom Foster</div><br />
|The baseball thing is much harder. You'd have to hit it out of the atmosphere, and a baseball is too small to do that. Even if you could, it's still not a fair comparison because astrophysicists are allowed to refine their approach as they close in on the target, which you can't do with a thrown baseball. It turns out that the comet mission requires about the same level of precision as laser eye surgery.<br />
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|83|Star Sand}}'''<br />
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jeff Wartes</div><br />
|Although red giants aren't as common as Sun-like stars or red dwarfs, they would form a stretch of gravel that went on for miles due to their large relative volume. 99% of all stars would form a small patch of sand.<br />
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}<br />
|{{book|2|16}}<br />
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|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|84|Paint the Earth}}'''<br />
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Josh (Bolton, MA)</div><br />
|That there isn't enough paint to go around. The total estimated amount of produced paint, a trillion litres, is only enough to paint as much as the land area of Russia.<br />
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}<br />
|{{book|2|14}}<br />
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|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|85|Rocket Golf}}'''<br />
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dan (Kanata, Ontario)</div><br />
|You ''could'' propel your ship using golf balls, but, assuming they are being fired at 226 mph (363 km/h), the fastest world record, the amount of golf balls needed for this would be around the size of Earth and wouldn't even get you to the Moon. You'd need a potato cannon fueled by acetylene firing golf balls at 310 mph (500 km/h) which reduces the size of the golf mass to 150 miles (240 kilometers). This would be incredibly costly and firing them faster would essentially be the same as building a normal rocket.<br />
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}<br />
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|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''<br />
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Matt Russell</div><br />
|There are a few different frames of reference you can look at, but in normal terms Mariner 10 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1. It's travelled a couple of light-days around the Sun, while the Voyager probes have only travelled a dozen light-hours.<br />
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}<br />
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|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''<br />
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Joausc</div><br />
|Radio waves are generally ''very weak''. You'd need the collective energy of trillions of cell phones just to levitate a snow flake. To stop a car, you'd need at least 2 trillion joules of radiation, which would vaporize the car and everything else around it.<br />
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}<br />
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|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''<br />
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brandon Seah</div><br />
|There are currently 400 parts of carbon dioxide per million. To bring it down to pre-Industrial levels, you'd need 450 quadrillion cans of soda, each being able to hold 2.2 grams of CO2. This would cover Earth's land 10 times over.<br />
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}<br />
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|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''<br />
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Leuchtenburg</div><br />
|Tungsten has the highest melting point of any element, but even tungsten would melt before it got too far. If you protected it with a heat shield, it would get destroyed all the same by the battering of the particles in the Sun's atmosphere. It could possibly penetrate the surface if it was larger, but as it stands, it wouldn't get past the outer layers.<br />
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}<br />
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|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''<br />
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''<br />
''What a great sea that would be!''<br />
''If all the trees were one tree,''<br />
''What a great tree that would be!''<br />
''If all the men were one man,''<br />
''What a great man that would be!''<br />
''If all the axes were one axe,''<br />
''What a great axe that would be!''<br />
''And if the great man took the great axe,''<br />
''And cut down the great tree,''<br />
''And let if fall into the great sea,''<br />
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''<br />
<br />
''... How great would all of these things be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—John Eifert (quoting a ''Mother Goose'' rhyme)</div><br />
|The seas would be a little bigger than the Pacific Ocean. Trees can't grow taller than about 130 meters naturally, and would physically crush itself if above a few kilometers tall. Ignoring these restraints, the tree would be about 75 km tall with trunk diameter of 2 km. Ignoring human size restraints, the person would be close to 3 km tall. The axe would be about 500 meters long and relatively the size of a flimsy hatchet. It may take a few weeks to chop down the tree and the impact would create a tsunami that probably wouldn't wipe out the human race, but would be likely the deadliest single disaster in our history.<br />
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|91|Faucet Power}}'''<br />
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David Axel Kurtz</div><br />
|Small hydroelectric dam in the bathtub would yield about $0.25 per month of electricity, but the best option would probably be to bottle and sell your tap water, yielding about $38 million per year at $1.50 per bottle.<br />
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}<br />
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|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|92|One-Second Day}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dylan</div><br />
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).<br />
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}<br />
|{{book|2|21}}<br />
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|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''<br />
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Daniel Butler</div><br />
|Water droplets in air are normally lighter than the air, so this wouldn't happen under normal circumstances. However, at supersonic speeds, the water droplet would impact the windshield at Mach 18. It wouldn't shatter the windshield, but it would slowly batter it away.<br />
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}<br />
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|[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''<br />
|''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''<br />
<div align="right">—Keira, via Steve Brodovicz, Media, PA </div><br />
|The tower would be far too big to support itself under its own weight. The tower would also extend past the Moon. The sheer amount of elevators needed would provide little to now room for actual usable space. Additionally, space junk would be a large problem, as there is a high probability that space junk would collide with the tower. <br />
|{{blog|94|2014|04|29}}<br />
|{{book|2|22}}<br />
|{{book|21|2025|02|11|Z_xJ40QXu7Q|What if you built a billion-story building?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''<br />
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Marmol</div><br />
|The Apollo Program took about the same manpower as the building of the Great Pyramids, but physics wise, the Great Pyramid only contains 10<sup>12</sup> joules of gravitational potential energy. A single Saturn V rocket's fuel has 20 times more energy.<br />
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}<br />
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|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''<br />
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kevin Underhill</div><br />
|The debt would be incredibly great, to the point that everything ever created by man does not have enough value to pay it off. For comparison, former soliciter general Ted Olson leaked that he charges $1600 per hour for his services. Even if every habitable planet in the Milky Way had a population of 8 billion Ted Olsons, and you hired all of them for a thousand generations, the cost would still be lower than if you lost.<br />
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|23}}<br />
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|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|97|Burning Pollen}}'''<br />
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jessica Thornburg</div><br />
|It would just warm up the air by a very tiny bit, but only because it's so thinly spread. Gathering all of it from a large enough region into one pile could equal a nuclear weapon.<br />
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}<br />
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|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''<br />
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Fiona Byrne</div><br />
|No, you can't. Alcohol in a drunk person's blood would be very diluted and by the time you drank the 14 glasses needed to get drunk, you would've vomited on the account of drinking blood. That aside, you could also get iron overload as well as various blood-borne diseases.<br />
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}<br />
|{{book|2|42}}<br />
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|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|99|Starlings}}'''<br />
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Justin Basinger</div><br />
|Each bird is 85 grams, with a density of around 43 grams per square meter. Because of this, the air would be 25 times stronger than the starlings and the substance governing the collapse. The air would have to be bigger than the Earth to collapse the starlings and the starlings themselves would need to be bigger than the Solar System. They would then promptly turn into a star.<br />
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}<br />
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|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|100|WWII Films}}'''<br />
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Becky</div><br />
|Assuming the average run time of a WWII film was 95 minutes, the combined length was 300 days, meaning World War II was longer than the movies 7 times over. The two most likely candidates for highest movie:war ratio are the Indo-Pakistani war, which lasted 13 days and has 5 catalogued films about it, and the Anglo-Zanzibar war, which only lasted 38 minutes but lacked any films.<br />
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''<br />
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Steve Lydford</div><br />
|Contrary to the name, oil is not made of dead dinosaurs, mostly being composed of marine plankton and algae. Geology is complicated, but the gist is that only a small fraction of a plastic dinosaur toy could've come from dinosaur oil, and depending on the location, it may contain none at all.<br />
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}<br />
|{{book|2|26}}<br />
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|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|102|Keyboard Power}}'''<br />
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''<br />
<div align="right">—Nicholas Dickner</div><br />
|Writing one full novel would provide enough energy to run a laptop for 15 seconds. If each novel takes you six months, this would save a fraction of a penny of electricity. To keep a laptop, you'd need to write a novel every ten seconds, and to run a microwave would require one novel per second.<br />
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}<br />
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|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|103|Vanishing Water}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Joanna Xu</div><br />
|If all water vanished, the first to notice would be anybody currently in the ocean, and over the course of a minute, they would all fall, some of them dying but some surviving with minor injuries. After this, all marine life will have perished. Humans follow soon after as the water cycle would've stopped, collapsing global infrustructure and killing every plant and person by dehydration. The end of the water cycle also leads to a runaway greenhouse effect later on.<br />
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}<br />
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|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|104|Global Snow}}'''<br />
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jed Scott</div><br />
|Snow isn't very dense, and 1 inch of rain would lead to a foot or more of snow. Factoring in snow compressing throughout the day, you would need a mole of snowflakes to cover the Earth in 6 feet in snow.<br />
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}<br />
|{{book|2|59}}<br />
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|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|105|Cannibalism}}'''<br />
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Quinn Shaffer</div><br />
|If half of the world eats the other half, then it would take about 32 months before it came down to 2 people. However, this is also a very efficient way to get a {{w|Transmissible spongiform encephalopathy|prion disease}}. <br />
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}<br />
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|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|106|Ink Molecules}}'''<br />
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David Pelkey</div><br />
|You'd use about 100,000,000,000,000,000 molecules.<br />
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}<br />
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|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|107|Letter to Mom}}'''<br />
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tim</div><br />
|An ICBM would take 12-15 minutes to cross the distance. While that is the best method, a few other methods come close. The Concorde would only take 30 minutes, while firing something with a rail gun down a vacuum tube would take only 10-20 minutes.<br />
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}<br />
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|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''<br />
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rick Lewis</div><br />
|There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000. That amount of platinum would be worth $13 million, while diamonds, Adcetris and LSD would be valued around 1-2 billion,<br />
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|31}}<br />
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|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|109|Into the Blue}}'''<br />
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Garrett D.</div><br />
|Infinitely powerful laser beams do not exist, and if they did, they would vaporize the air and destroy everything like in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}''. That being said, if it were truly random, it would be aimed at Earth 50% of the time. If you miss the Earth, 89,999 times out of 90,000, your beam will pass right out of the galaxy without hitting anything. When it does hit something, it will almost always be the Sun or the Moon.<br />
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}<br />
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|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|110|Walking New York}}'''<br />
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Asif Shamir</div><br />
|Based on estimates of US Postal Service carriers and their travel times, we know that walking every street in NYC would probably take 14 years. Assuming it takes about 25 seconds to enter an apartment building, leave, and go to the next one, it would only take an additional 10 years to visit every apartment. However, under [http://ypdcrime.com/penal.law/article140.htm New York Penal Code], the punishment would take 2 million years or 2,000 millenia to finish.<br />
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}<br />
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|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|111|All the Money}}'''<br />
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Daniel Pino</div><br />
|Currency only makes up a fraction of Earth's money, and it's unlikely people would agree to your sudden claims of ownership over all of the land, nor would they let you spend the actual currency you have. Said currency would quickly crush you, as most of its weight is in coinage. You could build a structure to contain the coins, but this would violate NYC building codes.<br />
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}<br />
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|{{book|25|2025|05|06|saj7b5C6TCM|What if you literally had all the money in the world?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|112|Balloon Car}}'''<br />
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''<br />
<div align="right">—Phil Rodgers, Cambridge, UK</div><br />
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].<br />
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|113|Visit Every State}}'''<br />
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''<br />
<div align="right">—as discussed by Stephen Von Worley <span class="plainlinks">on [http://www.datapointed.net/2012/08/fastest-route-to-visit-all-fifty-united-states/ '''''Data Pointed''''']</span><br />
|It would take you 160 hours by car, 39 hours by landing a private jet in each state, and 18 hours by F-22 fighter jet and helicopter landing in each state. However, if you relax the requirement to land in each state and simply count entering the state's airspace as "visiting" it, you can do it in around 7 hours with an SR-71 Blackbird. If we allow satellite orbits, you can do it in just over 6 hours with five orbits, assuming your satellite makes a course correction on each orbit.<br />
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}<br />
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|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|114|Antimatter}}'''<br />
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sean Gallagher</div><br />
|It would wipe out all life on Earth, but surprisingly slower than you might expect. The annihilation of antimatter entering the atmosphere would add enough extra heat to create a runaway greenhouse effect and make Earth similar to Venus. We would be in much more danger from meteorites, with dinosaur-killer equivalents hitting the upper atmosphere every few months.<br />
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}<br />
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|[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|115|Into the Sun}}'''<br />
|''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—AJ, Kansas City</div><br />
|You would not be warmed if you went to the surface, as the energy received by your skin would be minimal. You would maybe see a bright flash of light. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you, as the energy delivered there would be able to give you a second-degree burn after 1 femtosecond (1 millionth of a nanosecond) in the core.<br />
|{{blog|115|2014|10|08}}<br />
|{{book|2|61}}<br />
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''<br />
|''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''<br />
<div align="right">—Hunter Freyer</div><br />
|If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.<br />
|{{blog|116|2014|10|15}}<br />
|{{book|2|35}}<br />
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|117|Distant Death}}'''<br />
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Amy from NZ</div><br />
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.<br />
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|118|Physical Salary}}'''<br />
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Julia Anderson, Albuquerque, NM</div><br />
|At minimum US wage, a worker would earn about one water bottle of mixed coins per day. A CEO would earn about 600 such bottles per day, and the coins would accumulate on the floor at a rate of about 0.5 inches per day. Mark Zuckerberg would earn 25 such bottles ''per second'', and the coins would bury him if he sat still for an hour.<br />
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}<br />
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|[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''<br />
|''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Zach Wheeler</div><br />
|It's doable in theory, but the energy required to completely vaporize a raindrop (rather than merely splattering it) is high enough that your surroundings would get dangerously hot. Targeting the droplets might be possible with adaptive optics, but it would require a complicated device. You could try firing rapidly in random directions instead, but your high-powered laser might go several hundred meters without hitting a raindrop, which would endanger your local neighborhood.<br />
|{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|37}}<br />
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''<br />
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''<br />
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|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}<br />
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|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Zoe Cutler</div><br />
|Anywhere with rain or snowmelt would be horrifically flooded, and ice would break, then dam up rivers, forming huge lakes. Humanity would be worse for the wear, but all in all fine.<br />
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)<br />
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|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|122|Lava Lamp}}'''<br />
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)</div><br />
|The container would glow opaque from the heat, making it impossible to see the lava, which would solidify after a minute.<br />
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}<br />
|{{book|2|40}}<br />
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|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''<br />
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mira Kühn, Germany</div><br />
|They would have the same birth rate as humans, and they would become a major part of the ecosystem.<br />
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''<br />
|''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''<br />
<div align="right">—Kim Holder</div><br />
|It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.<br />
|{{blog|124|2015|01|08}}<br />
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|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}<br />
|-<br />
|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|125|Bowling Ball}}'''<br />
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Doug Carter</div><br />
|It would take two hours and 20 minutes.<br />
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}<br />
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|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|126|Stairs}}'''<br />
|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ethan Annas</div><br />
|{{notice|Could be made clearer (e.g., the order we gave is: professional stair-climber→motorcycle→by foot. Seems unintuitive.)}}It would take a week or two for a professional stair-climber, or about half a day by motorcycle. If going on foot, you'd also need to carry a huge backpack stuffed with nothing but sticks of butter in order to get your daily caloric intake (including the energy expended from climbing the stairs).<br />
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}<br />
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|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|127|Tug of War}}'''<br />
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Markus Andersen</div><br />
|Two teams of 25 people each would be able to rip a half-inch iron bar apart: tug-o-war is a very dangerous game, as there's so much force being exerted on the rope. The theoretical upper limit of a game is 100,000 players each, pulling a 200-mile long rope made of graphite ribbons. <br />
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}<br />
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|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|128|Zippo Phone}}'''<br />
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ian Cummings</div><br />
|The Zippo has more energy than your phone battery, but your hand would have even more, when burned as fuel.<br />
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Matt</div><br />
|Not much would change. A black hole of the Moon's mass would be the size of a sand grain, but gravitational effects would still be more or less the same here on Earth. There would be no moonlight, which would make the Earth a bit colder and mess with some nocturnal animals. You wouldn't see any lunar eclipses due to the tiny size of the Moon. It would only cause significant problems if the Moon replacement occured while humanity was exploring the Moon.<br />
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}<br />
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|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|130|Snow Removal}}'''<br />
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Matt Van Opens</div><br />
|The flamethrower is more practical because microwaves don't heat ice very well. The microwave beam would require the power output of three aircraft carriers, and the flamethrower would have a gas mileage of 17 feet per gallon.<br />
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}<br />
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|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|131|Microwaves}}'''<br />
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''<br />
<div align="right">—James</div><br />
The first cause of this issue is that the wave pattern of microwaves create 'dead spots' where the food isn't heated. Secondly, melted ice causes some parts to cook while the rest is still defrosting. Use a lower power level, stir your food partway through microwaving, and let it sit for a few minutes before you eat it. This allows the heat to spread evenly.<br />
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|132|Hotter than Average}}'''<br />
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Graham Ward</div><br />
|There is a water average: the year-round average air temperature. By saying the water is "hotter than average", they're implying the water in the pool is not tied to it. Give the signmakers some credit.<br />
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|133|Flagpole}}'''<br />
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rex Ungericht</div><br />
|It would be impossible, even a gymnast's arms would be ripped off from the force.<br />
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|134|Space Burial}}'''<br />
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tim in Fremont</div><br />
|Even before you were launched, your body would dry out very quickly. In low orbit, your body would fall to Earth and be burned from atmospheric re-entry. In a higher orbit, it would be destroyed from space debris. In high orbit, you could last for a few centuries. If your body was ever found it would mean there are a lot of people travelling around: making bodies pretty common.<br />
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|135|Digging Downward}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jack Kaunis</div><br />
|To remove all that soil, the energy required would heat up the surrounding beyond fatal levels pretty quickly. Immune to the heat, you could survive for one to two hours, as oxygen becomes toxic at depths higher than 5 kilometers.<br />
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''<br />
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''<br />
<div align="right">—Marina Fleming</div><br />
|The Sun, by 13 orders of magnitude (the Sun is very big). But spiders are a lot more scary.<br />
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}<br />
|{{book|2|44}}<br />
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|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|137|New Horizons}}'''<br />
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Robin Sheat</div><br />
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|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''<br />
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''<br />
<div align="right">—KTH</div><br />
|No. Before it got to the point where it could float, the submarine would be crushed by the high pressure and melted by the high temperature. This is because gasses behave differently to fluids: the point where things can float is at a much higher pressure. <br />
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''<br />
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ada Munroe</div><br />
|There's not a whole lot to go on here; we have some data and educated guesses about what's going inside these gas giants, but we haven't sent any probes equipped with operational cameras into a gas giant so we don't really know. A book by Michael Carroll suggests that there is a layer between the upper ammonia haze and lower ammonium hydrosulfide clouds, that could provide some good views, and if so, the view would be similar to Earth's atmosphere in that clouds and fellow submarines would fade into blue.<br />
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}<br />
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|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''<br />
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Noah Williams</div><br />
|There would be so much energy packed into one space that it would create a black hole as massive as the observable universe that would expand outwards at the speed of light. Because of the charge from the electrons, it would be a "naked singularity": a black hole with infinite mass that allows light to escape.<br />
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|48}}<br />
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|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|141|Sunbeam}}'''<br />
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Max Schäfer</div><br />
|Parts of the atmosphere would be heated to millions of degrees, and the bubble of destruction would wrap around the Earth before it even reached the other side. The light reflected off the moon would be hot enough to burn you to death. If the beam couldn't track the Earth, part of it would survive as the Earth orbited out of the way. If the beam reached another planetary system, it could heat up the surface of some distant exoplanets. <br />
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|142|Space Jetta}}'''<br />
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Casey Berg</div><br />
|{{notice|Why??}}Actually, it would be more clean than it is currently!<br />
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''<br />
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—A group of Google Search SREs</div><br />
|{{notice|Too short}}No, at least not with a siphon.<br />
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}<br />
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|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|144|Saliva Pool}}'''<br />
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mary Griffin, 9th grade</div><br />
|For an Olympic pool, it would take you 8,345 years. In order to finish by the present day, you'd need to start during the invention of agriculture.<br />
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}<br />
|{{book|2|53}}<br />
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|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''<br />
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rogier Spoor</div><br />
|{{notice|Too short, explain if you were surrounded by the Sun}}No. Because of the law of conservation of étendue, the light would only be as hot as the surface of the moon.<br />
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}<br />
|{{book|2|51}}<br />
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|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''<br />
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dillon</div><br />
|Even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter, this could never happen, because Jupiter is much more massive than Earth. Gravity assists are like bouncing a tennis ball off a train, and to stop the train, you'd need an awfully large tennis ball. <!-- or, as per https://what-if.xkcd.com/18, a *lot* of them... ;) --><br />
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}<br />
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|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|147|Niagara Straw}}'''<br />
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David Gwizdala</div><br />
|{{notice|A list of agencies isn't useful here, explain the actual article.}}The International Niagara Committee, the International Niagara Board of Control, the International Joint Commission, the International Niagara Board Working Committee, and probably the Great Lakes–St. Lawrence River Adaptive Management Committee would get angry. The Earth would also be destroyed.<br />
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)<br />
|{{book|2|55}}<br />
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|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|148|Eat the Sun}}'''<br />
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''<br />
<div align="right">—James Mitchell</div><br />
|0.000000000065%. This is such a ridiculously small portion of the Sun's heat exhaust, that we cannot increase our personal calory intake enough to compensate. Instead we need to add more persons. A lot of them in fact. So many that we need to spread them - and the food that they eat - out throughout not just our galaxy but multiple galaxies. Otherwise, the food alone would be massive enough to turn into a black hole.<br />
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|149|Pizza Bird}}'''<br />
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tina Nguyen</div><br />
|After careful analysis of wing types, relative weights, and pizza grabbing mechanisms, it is deduced that even the most compatible bird - the eagle - would be hard-pressed to deliver a pizza to an airliner, the relative speed being the largest hurdle. However, delivery to a house - where the relative speed is not so much of a problem - would be possible, though the pizza might be found a slice or two short.<br />
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''<br />
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Raga</div><br />
|Each sun is the source of not just one rainbow, but a whole series of rainbows of diminishing intensity; the elusive 5th order rainbow had apparently been pictured at the time of publication. A planet with two suns would consequently have two series of rainbows. A solar system arranged like Tatooine would have to be circumbinary, which limits the separation of the two rainbow series to about 20 degrees. As the main rainbow is 84 degrees across, this leads to the conclusion that the rainbows would always be overlapping.<br />
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|151|Sun Bug}}'''<br />
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Luke Doty</div><br />
|{{notice|Talk about the problems he mentions, like each firefly turning into a black hole.}}30,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 fireflies.<br />
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''<br />
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nick Traeden</div><br />
|Basically, yes. But there is a lot of digging, and the end result would be quite similar to the Salton Sea which is characterized as "gross" (technical term). Also, heat world records would likely move elsewhere.<br />
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}<br />
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|''The thumbnail for this blog article wasn't archived.''<br />
|'''<span class="plainlinks">[https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153 Peptides]</span>'''<br />
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kira (Lysine-Isoleucine-Arginine-Alanine) Guth</div><br />
|For any peptides, 19 letters is the highest possible, that being the word "interdepartmentally". For naturally existing peptides in the human body, 8 letters is the highest known. Examples of 8 letters are: GRISETTE, DATELESS, REVERSAL.<br />
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|notAvailable=Published by accident and deleted: [[what if? (blog)#top|learn more]]}}<br />
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|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''<br />
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sam Burke</div><br />
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.<br />
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''<br />
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brandon Rooks</div><br />
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.<br />
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''<br />
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''<br />
<div align="right">—<span class="plainlinks">[https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/ '''My Brother, My Brother, and Me'''], [https://maximumfun.org/episodes/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-343-sauce-doctors-blessing/ '''Episode 343'''], discussing a </span>Yahoo Answers question</div><br />
|As a superior being, the Toaster casts its gaze upon lowly humans and hrumphs at their bickering about such measly temperature variations as 40C. The Toaster regularly reaches 600C and thus, to it - much like to the Fire - everything else is cold, be it room temperature or freezer temperature. Winnipeg locals have it easy and can try this for themselves, as long as they can stave of the wolves.<br />
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''<br />
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Madeline Cooper</div><br />
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.<br />
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''<br />
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ramon Schönborn, Germany</div><br />
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.<br />
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|58}}<br />
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|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|158|Hot Banana}}'''<br />
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kang Ji</div><br />
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number. However, gathering that many bananas in one place would have negative consequences. New York no longer exists.<br />
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}<br />
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|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]<br />
|'''{{What If|159|Hailstones}}'''<br />
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michael Grill</div><br />
|{{notice|Too short. Explain air resistance as Randall does.}}There's no real chance of producing that big hail stones, but if they could be lethal even if staying indoors.<br />
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}<br />
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''<br />
|'''{{What If|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''<br />
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Eric Munson</div><br />
|In addition to destroying global ocean circulation and creating an illegal naval blockade, this is definitely a violation of her rental car agreement. Also, organizing a fleet of a trillion rental cars would be difficult.<br />
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}<br />
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''<br />
|'''{{What If|161|Star Ownership}}'''<br />
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Reuven Lazarus</div><br />
|Given that the South pole (of Earth) points towards the Milky way centre, most of the galaxy will wind up in the air-space (space-space?) of countries of the southern hemisphere. However, due to Earth's rotation around its axis, the nadir of the galaxy core (on Earth) will constantly shift. Given that Australia is the largest of the southern countries, Australia will most often be the Rulers of the Universe. Northern hemisphere jurisdictions, such as New Jersey, will have to contend with some pretty nifty black holes and possibly murderous exoplanets.<br />
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}<br />
|{{book|2|24}}<br />
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''<br />
|'''{{What If|162|Comet Ice}}'''<br />
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Daniel Becker</div><br />
|{{notice|Too short}}The comet either burns up in the atmosphere or speeds up global warming.<br />
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}<br />
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|'''Global Windstorm'''<br />
|''"What would happen if the Earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div><br />
|Everyone would die. Then, the wind would destroy everything, with gusts blowing more than 1,000 mph (1,600 km/h) around the equator, killing 85% of the world population. The highest winds would only last a few minutes, but that would be enough to vaporise most human structures. Bunkers would be useless, because, even if your bunker were stuck to the ground hard, others would not be as strong and would hit yours at 1,000 mph. However, most of the researchers at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}} would be completely fine. The wind blast would then become a heat blast with scorching temperatures and create global thunderstorms in moist areas. After a while, the Earth would gradually start to regain its rotational velocity thanks to the Moon.<br />
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|{{book|1|1}}<br />
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to get your teeth to such a cold temperature that they would shatter upon drinking a hot cup of coffee?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Shelby Hebert</div><br />
<div align="right"></div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|4}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"How many houses are burned down in the United States every year? What would be the easiest way to increase that number by a significant amount (say, at least 15%)?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
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|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''<br />
|''"I assume when you travel back in time you end up at the same spot on the Earth’s surface. At least, that’s how it worked in the Back to the Future movies. If so, what would it be like if you traveled back in time, starting in Times Square, New York, 1000 years? 10,000 years? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 1,000,000,000 years? What about foward in time 1,000,000 years?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mark Dettling</div><br />
|<br />
*1,000 years back, you'd see many chestnut trees, wolves, and passenger pigeons.<br />
*10,000 years back, the ground would be mostly bedrock, with large chunks of ice and dropped boulders, called glacial erratics.<br />
*100,000 years back, several islands were pushed upwards by the ice. You would see many now-extinct species, such as Canis dirus, Smilodon fatalis, and Arctodus.<br />
*1,000,000 years back, you'd see relatives of hyenas called Chasmaporthetes.<br />
*1,000,000 years back would be no plants or animals, only single-celled organisms in the ocean.<br />
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|{{book|1|5}}<br />
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|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you made a periodic table out of cube-shaped bricks, where each brick was made of the corresponding element?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Andy Connolly</div><br />
|The top two rows wouldn't be too dangerous to build, but the rest of the periodic table would seriously injure or kill you. In the sixth row, elements with short half-lives would destroy the room you were in as well as causing nuclear fallout to fall nearby. Past the sixth row, the entire city you were in would be destroyed.<br />
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|{{book|1|8}}<br />
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| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Would dumping anti-matter into the Chernobyl reactor when it was melting down stop the meltdown?"''<br />
<div align="right">—AJ</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|12}}<br />
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|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Is it possible to cry so much you dehydrate yourself?"''<div align="right">—Karl Wildermuth</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''The Last Human Light'''<br />
|''"If every human somehow simply disappeared from the face of the Earth, how long would it be before the last artificial light source would go out?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alan</div><br />
|Radioactive waste that was mixed with glass will glow for centuries.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|13}}<br />
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Given humanity’s current knowledge and capabilities, is it possible to build a new star?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jeff Gordon</div><br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|16}}<br />
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|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What sort of logistic anomalies would you encounter in trying to raise an army of apes?"''<div align="right">—Kevin</div><br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If people had wheels and could fly, how would we differentiate them from airplanes?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Orbital Submarine'''<br />
|''"How long would a nuclear submarine last in orbit?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jason Lathbury</div><br />
|The submarine could last as long as it was in space.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|17}}<br />
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to stop a volcano eruption by placing a bomb (thermobaric or nuclear) underneath the surface?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tomasz Gruszka</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|20}}<br />
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|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"A friend of mine is convinced that there is sound in space. There isn’t, right?"''<div align="right">—Aaron Smith</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Human Computer'''<br />
|''"How much computing power could we achieve if the entire world population stopped whatever we are doing right now and started doing calculations? How would it compare to a modern-day computer or smartphone?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mateusz Knorps</div><br />
|The combined computing power of all devices surpassed the power of all humans in 1977.<br />
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|{{book|1|21}}<br />
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|'''Common Cold'''<br />
|''"If everyone on the planet stayed away from each other for a couple of weeks, wouldn't the common cold virus be wiped out?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sarah Ewart</div><br />
|No, because immunocompromised individuals can harbor rhinoviruses for a long time. Only a few hosts are needed for the virus to spread again.<br />
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|{{book|1|25}}<br />
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|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''" If global warming puts us in danger through temperature rise, and super-volcanos put us into danger of global cooling, shouldn’t those two dangers balance each other out?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Florian Seidl-Schulz</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|27}}<br />
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|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"How fast would a human have to run in order to be cut in half at the bellybutton by a cheese-cutting wire?"''<div align="right">—Jon Merrill</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''No More DNA'''<br />
|''"This may be a bit gruesome, but... if someone's DNA suddenly vanished, how long would that person last?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nina Charest</div><br />
|You could live for several hours or days before succumbing to infection or systemwide organ failure.<br />
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|{{book|1|29}}<br />
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|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What is the total nutritional value (calories, fat, vitamins, minerals, etc.) of the average human body?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Justin Risner</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|31}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What temperature would a chainsaw (or other cutting implement) need to be at to instantly cauterize any injuries inflicted with it?"''<div align="right">—Sylvia Gallagher</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Flyover States'''<br />
|''"Which US state is actually flown over the most?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jesse Ruderman</div><br />
|Virgina, due to a large amount of flights from Toronto to the Carribbean/South America.<br />
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|{{book|1|33}}<br />
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|-<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"In Thor the main character is at one point spinning his hammer so fast that he creates a strong tornado. Would this be possible in real life?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Davor</div><br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|36}}<br />
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|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If you saved a whole life’s worth of kissing and used all that suction power on one single kiss, how much suction force would that single kiss have?"''<div align="right">—Jonatan Lindström</div><br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"How many nuclear missiles would have to be launched at the United States to turn it into a complete wasteland?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Self-Fertilization'''<br />
|''"I read about some researchers who were trying to produce sperm from bone marrow stem cells. If a woman were to have sperm cells made from her own stem cells and impregnate herself, what would be her relationship to her daughter?"''<br />
<div align="right">—R Scott LaMorte</div><br />
|The resulting child would have many genetic defects, effectively being inbred.<br />
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|{{book|1|37}}<br />
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|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"A toxin blocks the ability of the nephron tubule reabsorption but does not affect filtration. What are the possible short-term effects of this toxin?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mary</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|40}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If a Venus fly trap could eat a person, about how long would it take for the human to be fully de-juiced and absorbed?"''<div align="right">—Jonathan Wang</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Lost Immortals'''<br />
|''"If two immortal people were placed on opposite sides of an uninhabited Earthlike planet, how long would it take them to find each other? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 100,000,000,000 years?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ethan Lake</div><br />
|Depending on strategy and terrain, a few years to a few decades.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|42}}<br />
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|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Could you survive a tidal wave by submerging yourself in an in-ground pool?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Chris Muska</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|46}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If you are in free fall and your parachute fails, but you have a Slinky with extremely convenient mass, tension, etc., would it be''<br />
possible to save yourself by throwing the Slinky upward while holding on to one end of it?"<div align="right">—Varadarajan Srinivasan</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Sparta'''<br />
|''"In the movie 300 they shoot arrows up into the sky and they seemingly blot out the sun. Is this possible, and how many arrows would it take?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anna Newell</div><br />
|300 arrows per second with densely packed archers could blot out 99% of the sun's light. If the sun were low in the horizon, you could more effectively block sunlight with less arrows.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|47}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Lego Bridge'''<br />
|''"How many Lego bricks would it take to build a bridge capable of carrying traffic from London to New York? Have that many Lego bricks been manufactured?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jerry Petersen</div><br />
|Enough bricks have been manufactured to connect London and New York, but the bridge would not be structurally sound enough to stay together for very long.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|51}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What is the probability that if I am stabbed by a knife in my torso that it won’t hit anything vital and I’ll live?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Thomas</div><br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|54}}<br />
| rowspan="3" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"If I were on a motorbike and do a jump off a quarter pipe ramp, how fast would I need to be moving to safely deploy and land using the parachute?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What if every day, every human had a 1 percent chance of being turned into a turkey, and every turkey had a 1 percent chance of''<br />
being turned into a human?"<div align="right">—Kenneth</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Weightless Arrow'''<br />
|''"Assuming a zero-gravity environment with an atmosphere identical to Earth's, how long would it take the friction of air to stop an arrow fired from a bow? Would it eventually come to a standstill and hover in midair?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Mark Estano</div><br />
|It would stop at about 5 to 10 kilometers.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|56}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''All the Lightning'''<br />
|''"If all the lightning strikes happening in the world on any given day all happened in the same place at once, what would happen to that place?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Trevor Jones</div><br />
|It would create a crater the size of a basketball court.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|62}}<br />
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What if everyone in Great Britain went to one of the coasts and started paddling? Could they move the island at all?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ellen Eubanks</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|64}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Are fire tornadoes possible?"''<div align="right">—Seth Wishman</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Neutron Bullet'''<br />
|''"If a bullet with the density of a neutron star were fired from a handgun (ignoring the how) at the Earth's surface, would the Earth be destroyed?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Charlotte Ainsworth</div><br />
|No. The bullet would fall through the ground and stop in the center of the Earth.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|67}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''<br />
| colspan="2" |''"What if I swallow a tick that has Lyme disease? Will my stomach acid kill the tick and the borreliosis, or would I get Lyme disease from the inside out?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Christopher Vogel</div><br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|68}}<br />
| rowspan="2" |<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" |''"Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet,''<br />
would be required to “bring it down”?"<div align="right">—Brittany</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Richter 15'''<br />
|''"What if a Richter magnitude 15 earthquake were to hit America at, let's say, New York City? What about a Richter 20? 25?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alec Farid</div><br />
|A magnitude 15 earthquake would destroy the Earth.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|1|69}}<br />
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Soupiter'''<br />
|''"What would happen if the Solar System was filled with soup out to Jupiter?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Amelia</div><br />
|The soup would collapse into a black hole and devour the Milky Way, though we would feel mostly fine for the first 10 to 15 minutes.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|1}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Helicopter Ride'''<br />
|''"What if you were hanging on a helicopter blade by your hands and then someone turned it on?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Corban Blanset</div><br />
|Without any grip assistance, you'd fall off before it completed its first revolution. With handholds, your body would instead fall off of your arms.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|2}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Dangerously Cold'''<br />
|''"Would there be any danger from standing next to a large object that was 0 Kelvin?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Christopher</div><br />
|There wouldn't be a lot of direct danger from the cube itself, though it would make you feel cold. The bigger danger would be from liquid oxygen condensing and igniting flammable objects. It would take a while to reheat the cube<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|3}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''<br />
|''"What if we somehow evaporated a solid block of iron on {{asic|ear|th''}}''?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Cooper C.</div><br />
|The cube would ignite whatever is near it and deposit large quantities of iron flakes downwind. However, it wouldn't make a huge impact on the total amount of atmospheric iron.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|4}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''<br />
|''"If the universe stopped expanding right now, how long would it take for a human to drive a car all the way to the edge of the universe?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sam H-H</div><br />
|First off, a human can't do this. Assuming a normal crash rate, an average human driver wouldn't make it past Mars without crashing. Even truck drivers, a field where the crash rate is much lower, wouldn't make it past Jupiter. Using a self-driving car, however, would negate this. It would take an incredibly long time, on the order of approximately 480 quadrillion years if you're driving at a steady pace of 65 miles per hour. Assuming you want to keep your car functional, you would go through 30 quintillion oil changes. Assuming a reasonable 33 MPG highway mileage, the amount of gasoline needed would be similar to the moon in size. You would also need 10^17 tons of snacks. Entertainment would be another issue. If every person who has ever lived had 150 friends/acquaintances, listening to a real-time podcast of someone's life, all from the perspective of a different friend/acquaintance, you would need to re-watch them all 150 times to make it to the edge of the observable universe. Once you get there, there would be no Earth to come back to. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|5}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Pigeon Chair'''<br />
|''"How many pigeons would it require in order to lift the average person and launch a chair to the height of Australia's Q1 skyscraper?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div><br />
|The optimal method for using the least amount of pigeons would be to use a multi-stage system of sorts. A group of pigeons would lift you about 10 feet, before dropping you as another group swoops in to take their place. However, even with this system, the number of pigeons would be large enough that the earth would be pulled into the pigeons by gravity instead of the other way around. In other words, if you want to get to the top of Australia's Q1 skyscraper, use an elevator.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|6}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="11"|<br />
|rowspan="11"|'''Short Answers #1'''<br />
|''"What if your blood became liquid uranium? Would you die from radiation, lack of oxygen, or something else?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Thomas Chattaway</div><br />
|You would die Having-no-Blood-and-Being-Full-of-Molten-Uranium Syndrome. Also known as Jeff's Disease.<br />
|rowspan="11"|<br />
|rowspan="11"{{book|2|6.5}} (S1)<br />
|rowspan="11"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"Could someone have an anime-style attack where they created a sword out of air? I'm not talking about an air blade, but something like cooling the air enough so that you had solid air to attack people."''<br />
<div align="right">—Emma</div><br />
|Theoretically yes, but it would be extremely impractical. The temperature to turn oxygen solid is very low, and even with proper insulation it would still cause frostbite. It would also be very weak and very soft, and would sublimate quickly, basically making it useless for all intensive purposes, except for PR.<br />
|-<br />
|''"How much water do you have to drink to become 99 percent water?"''<br />
<div align="right">—LyraxH</div><br />
|About 500 gallons of water.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would we see if we attached a lightweight camera to a balloon and let it fly away?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Raymond Peng</div><br />
|We would see a balloon slowly flying away, fading into the sky. It would be quite pretty. Though next time we should probably attach a transmitter. <br />
|-<br />
|''"How many calories does Mario burn a day?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Daniel and Xavier Hovley</div><br />
|Mario starved to death in late 1985.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If a snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed a balloon whole, could/would the balloon carry the snake up?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Freezachu</div><br />
|No.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you were to jump out of an airplane that was traveling at Mach 880980 that was 100,00 feet above ground in New York City, with skydiving gear, could you survive?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jack Catten</div><br />
|rowspan="2"|No, you would die.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If there was no water on Earth, would we all live?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Karen</div><br />
|-<br />
|''"Is it possible to make a homemade jetpack?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Azhari Zadil</div><br />
|It's very easy to make one that works once; much harder to make it work more.<br />
|-<br />
|''"I was wondering whether there's a way to use my welder as a defibrillator? (The specific model I own is an Impax IM-ARC140 arc welder.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Łukasz Grabowski</div><br />
|No, and you probably shouldn't be allowed to use it as an arc welder either.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if all atoms on Earth were expanded to the size of a grape? Would we survive?<br />
|I don't know how to answer this with science, but now I want grapes.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Geyser'''<br />
|''"If one were to stand on top of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, at what speed would they be launched upwards and what injuries would they likely sustain?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Catherine McGrath</div><br />
|If you positioned yourself in just the right way, and used an umbrella to catch as much lift as possible, you could be launched hundreds of feet in the air. Unsurprisingly, you'd receive severe burns and almost certainly die. Surprisingly, however, you would be far from the first person to get severe burns from the geysers.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|8}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''<br />
|''"If you shot a ridiculously powerful gun/{{asic|la|zer''}}'' would it go off the edge of the world in a straight line or curve around the world?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Maelor</div><br />
|The beam would go off the edge of the world, except under certain circumstances.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|9}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''<br />
|colspan="2"|''"Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sadie Kim</div><br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|10.5}} (W1)<br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill, or at least, injure somebody?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Eli Collinge</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"If you had to remove the tonsils of a giant, what would be the safest way for you to do it? The surgeon is a normal human."''<br />
<div align="right">—Tirzah</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"What would it take to defeat Air Force One with a drone???"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Banana Church'''<br />
|''"Can all the world's bananas fit inside of all of the world's churches? My friends have had this argument for a little over 10 years now."''<br />
<div align="right">—Jonas</div><br />
|<big><big>{{notice2|'''Most of these are too short!'''}}</big></big> <big><big>{{notice|'''If you own the second book, please help us by explaining more!'''}}</big></big> Yes. They would likely only fill the churches to 6 inches deep.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|11}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''<br />
|''"I want to lose 20 pounds. How much of the Earth's mass would I have to "relocate" to space in order to achieve my goal?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ryan Murphy</div><br />
|You would have to remove 85% of the Earth's mass. However, due to the increase in density in the mantle, you would actually gain weight until you've removed about half the Earth's diameter.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|13}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''<br />
|''"Dear Randall, what would happen if you shrunk Jupiter down to the size of a house and placed in a neighborhood, say, replacing a house?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Zachary</div><br />
|Assuming density stayed the same when you shrunk Jupiter down, the biggest issue would be that the gravity that keeps its hot interior together would no longer exist, essentially creating a giant fireball that would turn into a mushroom cloud, and eventually spread out into a big cool cloud. This would, effectively, be the reverse of the formation of Jupiter, which started as clouds before being compressed into a small hot ball.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|15}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Swing Set'''<br />
|''"How tall can a swing set be while still being powered by a human pumping their legs? Is it possible to build a swing set tall enough to launch the rider into space if they jump at the right time? (Assuming the human has enough energy, which my 5-year-old seems to have.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Joe Coyle</div><br />
|This wouldn't happen.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|17}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Airliner Catapult'''<br />
|''"My friend is a commercial airline pilot. She says that a significant amount of fuel is spent on takeoff. To save fuel, why couldn't we launch airplanes using catapult systems like on aircraft carriers (calibrated to normal human accelerations)? Could significant amounts of fossil fuels be saved if the catapults could be run by some other clean energy? I'm imagining a rope ... one end tied to the airplane, the other tied to a large boulder at the edge of a cliff. Just push the boulder off the cliff!"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brady Barkey</div><br />
|It's not a completely ridiculous idea, but the most practical issue is that you'd have to extend the roughly mile-long runway several times more to take full advantage of it. Using the proposed rope-and-cliff system, you'd need to use a thousand ton weight dropped at the height of a super tall skyscraper - of course, if you used something heavier, like the 80,000-ton Washington Monument, you wouldn't need to drop it as far.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|18}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="14"|<br />
|rowspan="14"|'''Short Answers #2'''<br />
|''"Billy the Clown is running out of cash, so in order to raise money, he devises his newest trick: He will inflate, by mouth, a standard-size party balloon until the material (some form of indestructible rubber) is just one atom thick. How large would the inflated party balloon be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alan Fong</div><br />
|It's a total mystery why Billy is running out of cash.<br />
|rowspan="14"|<br />
|rowspan="14"{{book|2|18.5}} (S2)<br />
|rowspan="14"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"How many leaf blowers would it take to move a standard SUV"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ashley H.</div><br />
|One or two dozen heavy-duty leaf blowers on level ground; more if you don't want to be honked at.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you put a vacuum at extremely high suction and aimed it at a normal BMW sedan, what would happen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|Nothing.<br />
|-<br />
|''"On a warm summer evening, when you sit outside with a light on, you can be sure that bugs will be attracted to the light. Then why is it that these same bugs don't fly toward the biggest and strongest lamp of them all, namely the Sun, during the day?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|Those that would would die and not be able to produce offspring with the same traits.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you collected all of the guns in the world and put them on one side of the Earth, then shot the all simultaneously, would it move the Earth?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nathan</div><br />
|It would not move the Earth, but it would make the other side a nicer place to live.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you microwaved a small microwave, while the smaller one was on as well?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Micheal</div><br />
|You would no longer be welcome in that IKEA.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you're jumping on a trampoline, how fast would your body have to be going to:<br>'''A.''' Break all bones on impact<br>'''B.''' Make your body go though the tiny holes of the mesh."''<br />
<div align="right">—Micah Lane</div><br />
|<ol style="list-style-type: upper-alpha"><br />
<li>Breaking all of the bones in your body would be hard because a lot of them are very small, but it would be fast enough that the trampoline wouldn't make much of a difference.</li><br />
<li>This can't happen, no matter how fast you're going.</li><br />
</ol><br />
|-<br />
|''"I have a Nothing Grenade™. When detonated, it instantly replaces itself with a sphere of perfect vacuum 2 meters across. What would actually happen when it went off?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Dave H.</div><br />
|You would have a device functionally similar to a regular grenade.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Is space hot or cold?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Isaac</div><br />
|Space is the hottest place you can freeze to death in.<br />
|-<br />
|''"How many bones can you remove from the human body while allowing the human to continue living? Asking for a friend."''<br />
<div align="right">—Chris Rakeman</div><br />
|That person is not your friend.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if you put a human under a g-force of 417 Gs for twenty seconds?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nythill</div><br />
|You would be arrested for murder.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Where or how can one commit a murder and not be prosecuted for it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kunai Dhawan</div><br />
|Theoretically, in a section of Yellowstone National Park, where {{w|Zone of Death (Yellowstone)|a jury would have to be formed from a non-existent population}}. In practice, you'd definitely still be prosecuted for committing a murder there.<br />
|-<br />
|''"I read today that insects make at least $57 billion a year for the US economy. If we were to pay every single insect in the United States equally for their economic contribution, how much would each insect get?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Hannah McDonald</div><br />
|Each insect would get $0.0000029.<br />
Broken down:<br />
*$18 billion to flies, including mosquitoes<br />
*$16 billion to bees, wasps, and ants<br />
*$10 billion to beetles<br />
*$7 billion to thrips<br />
*$1 billion to butterflies and moths<br />
*$1 billion to true bugs<br />
*$4 billion to all other insects<br />
|-<br />
|''"What, in today's world and yesterday's world, does it mean to be human, in all social and biological factors?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Seth Carrol</div><br />
|You meant to submit this to ''Why If?: Deeply Ungrammatical Answers to Unanswerable Philosophical Questions''.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''<br />
|''"What if an object like the Chicxulub impactor hit earth with a relatively low relative speed of (let's say) 3 mph"''<br />
<div align="right">—Beni von Alemann</div><br />
|Even though the meteor is slow, it's still very big. The impactor would not create a crater, but would instead create a weird effect which makes the rock flow like water, creating a large 'space dirt pancake' about the same diameter as the Chicxulub impact Crater. If {{w|Jurassic Park}} were a real place, it could certainly cause a dinosaur extinction over there, if dropped on it. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|19}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Elemental Worlds'''<br />
|''"What if Mercury (the planet) were entirely made of mercury (the element)? What if Ceres was made of cerium? Uranus made of uranium? Neptune made of neptunium? What about Pluto made of plutonium?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|Earth would (mostly) be fine. Mercury, uranium, neptunium, plutonium, and cerium would all replace the old planets. Changes are as follows:<br />
*Pluto would be visible to the naked eye<br />
*Ceres would be visible to the naked eye<br />
*Mercury would be visible to the naked eye<br />
*Uranus would be a fairly bight star<br />
*''When Neptune hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's an x-ray..''<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|20}}<br />
| <!-- i think there was a minutephysics video about this question --><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Tire Rubber'''<br />
|''"Rubber tires on millions of cars and trucks start with about ½" tread and end up bald. Rubber should be everywhere, or at least our highways should be made thicker. Where's the rubber?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Fred</div><br />
|An average tire sheds about 1.6 liters of rubber over the course of its lifetime (from new to bald). If all tire rubber stuck to the road, it would rise by about a third of a millimeter per year. However, most tire rubber shavings are small enough to drift through the air, or for rain and wind to wash them off the road. Tire rubber is more than enough to cause environmental disruption and it's one of the leading causes of microplastics in our oceans. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|25}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="10"|<br />
|rowspan="10"|'''Short Answers #3'''<br />
|''"How long do you think two people would have to kiss continuously before they had no lips left?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Asli</div><br />
|That's not how lips work<br />
|rowspan="10"|<br />
|rowspan="10"{{book|2|26.5}} (S3)<br />
|rowspan="10"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"My college friend and I have had this debate for years now: If you put a million hungry ants in a glass cube with one human, who's more likely to walk out alive?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Eric Bowman</div><br />
|Both the human and the ants would go after the person who put them in the glass box.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if all of humanity set all of their differences aside and work together to level out the Earth into a perfect sphere?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Erik Andersen</div><br />
|This would quickly create new differences.<br />
|-<br />
|''"People talk a lot about a space elevator or a building that would reach into low orbit to save time and resources getting things into space. This is going to sound incredibly stupid, but why has no one proposed building a road into space? Since orbit is generally considered to be 62 miles out, would it be possible to build a 62-mile-high mountain somewhere in the United States? Colorado would be my suggestion, since it has a low population density and is about a mile above sea level already."''<br />
<div align="right">—Brian</div><br />
|Where are you going to get the materials to build the mountain? Also, Colorado has a lot of people in it.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If I shot a rocket and a bullet through Jupiter's center, would they come out the other side?"''<br />
<div align="right">—James Wilson</div><br />
|No, as the leading theory is that Jupiter has a solid core. Shooting a bullet through the center would simply cause the bullet to collide with the core of the planet.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if Mount Everest magically turned into pure lava? What would happen to life; would we all die?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ian</div><br />
|We would mostly be okay.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Can you fall down into the Mariana Trench, or would you just swim over it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rodolfo Estrella</div><br />
|You can do both of those things<br />
|-<br />
|''"I play Dungeons & Dragons, and my DM doesn't want to let us use the Gust of Wind spell to push wind into the sails of a ship and make it move. Her argument is that you can't use this spell to move a ship because someone on a sailboat can't aim a fan at the sail to propel the boat. We argue that since the spell doesn't push you backward when you use it, then we should be able to use it to make the ship sail. She says she'll allow it only if you say so."''<br />
<div align="right">—Georgia Paterson and Allison Adams</div><br />
|Since the spell doesn't push you backwards, it should work. If the spell pushed you backwards, you would just have to aim the spell backwards.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if I struck a match on Titan? Would it light if there's no oxygen?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ethan Fitzgibbon</div><br />
| While the match would light initially due to the small amount of oxidizer in a matchhead (typically {{w|potassium chlorate}}, in a safety match), it would quickly dissipate due to the lack of oxygen to titan's atmosphere.<br />
|-<br />
|''"I posted a question on social media asking what would be the smallest change that would create the biggest disaster. One of the responses I got said "if every atom gained 1 proton." So my question for you is, what would happen if every atom gained 1 proton?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Olivia Caputo</div><br />
|That would not be a small change.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Suction Aquarium'''<br />
|''"When I was a child, I discovered that if I took a container into the swimming pool, i could fill it with water and then bring the container (open-end down) to the surface of the water, and the water level in my container was higher than the water level in the pool. What would happen if you tried to do this with a giant container and the ocean? Could you create a giant aquarium on top of the water that the animals could swim in and out of freely? Maybe an irregularly shaped container that you would walk around on to get closer to the fish?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Caroline Collett</div><br />
|It would work, but the water level would slowly lower back to sea level over time. However, this process can be accelerated by whale farts. I am not joking.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|27}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Earth Eye'''<br />
|''"If the Earth were a massive eye, how far would it see?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Alasdir</div><br />
|Its 'resolution' would be over 500 million times better than a normal human eye. It would be able to see the color of a shirt worn on Mars. It could also see incredibly far objects, such as some of the most distant galaxies that haven't been {{w|redshift}}ed to the point of being infrared. However, a planet-sized eye would be inconvenient, as it would certainly go blind from the Sun and could be damaged from nearby stars as well.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|28}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''<br />
|''"How many people would it take to build Rome in a day?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Lauren</div><br />
| It would take anywhere between 15 minutes and 150 minutes with the whole Earth working.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|29}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''<br />
|''"If I put an indestructible 20-meter-wide glass tube in the ocean that goes all the way down to the deepest part of the ocean, what would it be like to stand at the bottom? Assuming the sun goes directly overhead."''<br />
<div align="right">—Zoki Čulo</div><br />
|You would likely see many new and undiscovered species. You would also be incredibly cold as the freezing waters of the deep would cool the glass. Getting up would be another problem entirely. If you didn't use an elevator, you could break the glass. That would create a geyser, accelerating you upwards at lethal G-forces. Once you reach the surface, you would fly high into the air before crashing back down into the ocean. Also, you would be heralded as a hero by a lot of marine biologists.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|30}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''MRI Compass'''<br />
|''"Why don't compasses point toward the nearest hospital because of the magnetic fields created by MRI machines?"''<br />
<div align="right">—D. Hughes</div><br />
|They actually do, but only within ~10 meters.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|32}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''<br />
|''"I noticed recently that the number of people within a family tree increases exponentially with each generation: I have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so on. Which got me thinking—are most people descended from the majority of Homo sapiens who have ever lived? If not, what fraction of all the people that have ever lived am I descended from?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Seamus</div><br />
|Likely between 2-3 twenty-fourths of all humans who have ever lived.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|33}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Bird Car'''<br />
|''"I'm a lowly college student stuck in a car without AC. As such, the windows are down most of the time when I'm driving, and I started thinking: If a bird happens to match my speed and direction perfectly, and I swerve to catch the bird in my car ... what happens next, other than an angry bird? Does the bird stay right where it was? Fly into the windshield? Drop into the seat? My roommate and I disagree. Any help settling this would really make all our lives easier."''<br />
<div align="right">—Hunter W.</div><br />
| The bird would fall onto the seat at an angle, and then would fly out of the window (hopefully).<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|34}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''<br />
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen if you put the end of a vacuum hose up to your eye and turned on the vacuum?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Kitty Greer</div><br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|35.5}} (W2)<br />
|rowspan="4"|<br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"Is it possible to hold your arm straight out of a car window and punch a mailbox clean off its pole? Could you do it without breaking your hand?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Ty Gwennap</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"If people's teeth kept growing, but when they were fully grown they come off and are swallowed, how long would it take before it causes any problems?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Valen M.</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"In a defensive situation, how much epinephrine (in a EpiPen) would it take to subdue a possible attacker?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Henry M.</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''<br />
|''"What if my phone was based on vacuum tubes? How big would it be?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Johnny</div><br />
| The phone would be about the size of one to five city blocks, and would melt its way through the Earth's crust. Conversely, the UNIVAC constructed with modern electrical components would be smaller than a grain of salt.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|36}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Eat a Cloud'''<br />
|''"Could a person eat a whole cloud?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tak</div><br />
|Not unless you can squeeze the air out first. If you don't you will burp out more cloud than you ate.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|38}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Tall Sunsets'''<br />
|''"Let's say that two people of different heights (159 cm and 206 cm) stand beside each other while looking at the sunset. How much longer will the taller person be able to see the sun than the shorter one?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Rasmus Bunde Nielson</div><br />
|Over a second longer.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|39}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''<br />
|''"Suppose everyone with a fridge or a freezer opened them at the same time, outdoors. Would that amount of cooling be able to noticeably change the temperature? If not, how many fridges would it take to lower the temperature, say, 5 degrees F? What about even lower?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nicholas Mittica</div><br />
|Refrigerators don't work like that, and would likely increase global temperatures by 0.3 degrees celsius. The infinite spite of Hades is surprisingly green.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|41}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Basketball Earth'''<br />
|''"You know how when you spin a basketball on your finger you hit the side to make it go faster and balance it? If a meteor passes close enough to the earth, can it make the Earth spin faster like your hand does the basketball?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Zayne Freshley</div><br />
|Yes.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|43}}<br />
|<br />
|- <!-- my shift keys started acting up here, so expect some capitalization errors --><br />
|<br />
|'''Inhale a Person'''<br />
|''"If house dust comprises up to 80 percent dead skin, how many people worth of skin does a person consume/inhale in a lifetime?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Greg</div><br />
|You could inhale at most 3 gallons of human skin in a lifetime, and dust is not mostly dead skin. Instead it is a cursed salad of soil, pollen, cotton fibers, crumbs, powdered sugar, glitter, pet hair and dander, plastic, soot, human or animal hair, flour, glass, smoke, mites, and various miscellaneous gunk. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|45}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''<br />
|''"How many Wint-O-Green Life Savers would it take to create a life-size lightning bolt if you crushed them"''<br />
<div align="right">—Violet M.</div><br />
|Billions<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|46}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="13"|<br />
|rowspan="13"|'''Short Answers #4'''<br />
|''"Can humans safely eat rabid creatures?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Winston</div><br />
|No.<br />
|rowspan="13"|<br />
|rowspan="13"{{book|2|46.5}} (S4)<br />
|rowspan="13"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if the Earth's core suddenly stopped producing heat?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Laura</div><br />
|We would be mostly fine. While one may picture a scenario similar to ''The Core'', the difference would only be noticed long after you're gone, so you don't really need to worry about it :)<br />
|-<br />
|''"Could humanity, with our current technology, destroy the Moon?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Tyler</div><br />
|No.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Can global warming cause the Earth's magnetic fields to weaken?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Pavaki</div><br />
|No.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you used a laser, would you be able to bake something?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Andrew Liu</div><br />
|Yes.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What if Earth was sliced in half, like an apple? Where should you be such that you have the best chance of survival?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div><br />
|You should be holding the object that's slicing the Earth.<!-- The answer here is just a picture, this is an attempt at describing how I see it --><br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if a person dropped into a pool full of jellyfish?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Lorenzo Belotti</div><br />
|It depends on the species.<br />
|-<br />
|''"Would it be possible to make a house floor into a massive air hockey table, so you could move heavy furniture across the room?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jacob Wood</div><br />
|Yes, and now I know what my next home improvement project will be.<br />
|-<br />
|''"My 7-year-old son asked us over dinner recently at which point potatoes melt (I assume in a vacuum). Please advise."''<br />
<div align="right">—Steffen</div><br />
|Potatoes don't really melt at any temperature. Also, do you automatically add 'in a vacuum' to anything your son says?<br />
|-<br />
|''"Would a pigeon be able to make it to space if it was not affected by gravity?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div><br />
|No. The air in the upper atmosphere is too thin to breathe and too cold<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you were flying blind through the Milky Way what would be the odds of hitting a star or planet?"''<br />
<div align="right">—David</div><br />
|If you flew edge-on, it would be about 1 in 10 billion.<br />
|-<br />
|''"On various bodies in our Solar System (feel free to group any that are equivalent), roughly how long could you survive on the surface (for gas giants, assume you are on a magical platform at some point in the atmosphere that you could reasonably treat as the surface) with nothing but an infinite air supply and warm winter clothing? That is, no helmet, no pressure suit, just a nose-and-mouth air mask attached to a magic air generator, and clothing that would be suitable for, say, Chicago in winter. (No cute tricks like using the magic air supply to generate heat or whatever.)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Melissa Trible</div><br />
|<br />
*Earth: 100-ish years<br />
*Venus: Weeks to months<br />
*Everywhere else: Minutes to hours<br />
Venus would be great if it weren't for the sulfuric acid.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would happen if someone dropped an anvil on you from space?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Sam Stiehl</div><br />
|About the same as if someone dropped an anvil on you from a building.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Toasty Warm'''<br />
|''"What if I want to heat my house using toasters. How many do I need?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Peter Ahlström</div><br />
|Not many, because the house would quickly catch on fire.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|47}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Eyeball'''<br />
|''"If I pulled out my eyeball and aimed it so that it was looking into my other eyeball, what would I see (assuming the nerves and veins remain undamaged)"''<br />
<div align="right">—Lenka</div><br />
|You would see an eye superimposed with your head and the background of the room overlapping.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|49}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''<br />
|''"If ALL of Japan's islands disappear, would it affect Earth's natural phenomena (plates, oceans, hurricanes, climate, and so on)?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Miyu Uchida</div><br />
|It could shift the Earth's center of mass and axis of rotation by a foot. Sea level could also rise by up to a foot and a half in some areas. Ocean circulation in the Pacific could also be impacted.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|50}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Read All the Laws'''<br />
|''"If a person wanted to read all of the governing documents that apply to them—from the federal and state constitutions, treaties, agency-issued regulations, federal and state laws, local ordinances, etc.—how many pages would they have to read?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Keith Yearman</div><br />
|Between 145000 and 12.3 million pages.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|52}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="3"|<br />
|rowspan="3"|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''<br />
|colspan="2"|''"If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Stella Wohnig</div><br />
|rowspan="3"|<br />
|rowspan="3"{{book|2|52.5}} (W3)<br />
|rowspan="3"|<br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen to you if a colony of ants suddenly appeared in you bloodstream all at once?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Matt, on behalf of Declan</div><br />
|-<br />
|colspan="2"|''"If Harry Potter forgets where the invisible entrance to Platform 9¾ is, how long would he have to crash into walls randomnly before discovering it?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Max Planker</div><br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Snowball'''<br />
|''"What if I tried to roll a snowball from the top of Mount Everest? How big would the snowball be by the time it reached the bottom and how long would it take?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Michaeline Yates</div><br />
|It would remain about the same size, or it could cause an avalanche. Since the peak of {{w|Mount Everest}} is above the clouds, it is very dry there. For a snowball to grow, wet snow is required. The result would be similar to rolling a hamburger down. <br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|54}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''<br />
|''"What if you decided to walk from Austin, Texas, to New York City, but every step takes you back thirty days?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jojo Yawson</div><br />
| The sky would flicker at 50 Hz, and you would arrive around 300,000 years in the past.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|56}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Ammonia Tube'''<br />
|''"What would happen if you fed ammonia into your stomach through a tube? How fast must the flow rate be to burn your stomach from the heat released? What would the newly created chlorine gas do to your stomach?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Becca</div><br />
|There would be direct tissue damage, and other horrifying effects.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|57}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|rowspan="7"|<br />
|rowspan="7"|'''Short Answers #5'''<br />
|''"Could life evolve in a constantly running microwave?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Abby Doth</div><br />
|No.<br />
|rowspan="7"|<br />
|rowspan="7"{{book|2|58.5}} (S5)<br />
|rowspan="7"|<br />
|-<br />
|''"Tonight at my work as an ER nurse in the emergency room, a patient (high on methamphetamine) asked for a cup of water. I returned with a paper cup of water, which the patient promptly threw at my head, missing me but hitting the wall in such an improbable way that the open top of the cup impacted the wall and the cup contained/diminished most of the subsequent splatter. It occurred to me that it might be possible to throw a cup of water hard enough that the container of water would go through the wall. Is this possible?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Pete</div><br />
|Anything will go through a wall if you throw it hard enough<br />
|-<br />
|''"How slow would you have to chew in order to be able to infinitely consume breadsticks?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Miller Broughton</div><br />
|You would have to divide each breadstick into 20 bites, chewing each bite 200 times at 1 chew per second.<br />
|-<br />
|''"If you were somehow to remove the white and yolk from inside an eggshell (chicken), and replace them with helium, would the eggshell float in the air?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Elizabeth</div><br />
|No. An eggshell weighs more than the air it displaces.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What would stars smell like, if it were possible to smell them?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Finn Ellis</div><br />
|Due to the free hydrogen molecules floating around in there, it would taste incredibly sour. It would also smell like burning rubber, as stars are made up of the same components.<br />
|-<br />
|''"What is the average size for every man-made object on the planet?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Max Carver</div><br />
|Not too big, not too small. About average.<br />
|-<br />
|''"E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E"''<!-- 960 E's --><br />
<div align="right">—Nate Yu</div><br />
|I feel you, Nate.<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Dog Overload'''<br />
|''"Assuming 1 out of every 4 people has a 5-year-old dog, and the dog reproduces once every year, with 5 puppies, and the puppies start reproducing at 5 and stop at 15 and die at 20, how long would it take for the Earth to be flooded with puppies, assuming we have all the food, water, and oxygen to sustain them?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Griffin</div><br />
|This is unrealistic right from the start. This assumes the total dog population is 2 billion, which is well above current estimates. A timeline of major events and milestones is listed below. <br />
*After one year, there are enough dogs for everyone to have at least one.<br />
*After 5 years, every human has an average of 6 or 7 dogs. <br />
*After 11 years, Disney releases ''101 Dalmations per Capita'', after there are 101 dogs per person<br />
*After 15 years, the first dogs die, but the death is fully insignificant.<br />
*After 20 years, dogs would only be about 1 meter apart on average.<br />
*After 25-30 years, the dogs begin to stack.<br />
*At about 40 years, the exponential growth is "stable". The population is multiplying by about 1.6578 each year.<br />
*After 65 years, the population of dogs reaches 1 mol<br />
*After 110 years, the dogs start to undergo relativistic collapse<br />
*After 150 years, the dogs are bigger than the solar system.<br />
*After 197 years, the expansion of the dog sphere surpasses 1''c''<br />
*After 200 years, the dogs reach sirius.<br />
*After 250 years, the dogs envelop the milky way.<br />
*After 330 years, the dogs reach the edge of the observable universe.<br />
*After 417 years, Disney releases ''10<sup>101</sup> Dalmations.''<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|60}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Sunscreen'''<br />
|''"Assuming that SPF works as it purports, what SPF would you need for a 1-hour trip to the surface of the sun?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Brian and Max Parker</div><br />
|You would need SPF 3,200,000 or a giant blob of sunscreen.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|62}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Walking on the Sun'''<br />
|''"After the Sun runs out of fuel, it will become a white dwarf and slowly cool. When will it be cool enough to touch?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Jabari Garland</div><br />
|The Sun will cool to room temperature in about 20 billion years. However, survival would not be an option.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|63}}<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''<br />
|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Shuo Peskoe-Yang</div><br />
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|2|64}}<br />
| <br />
|-<br />
|<br />
|'''Bonus Chapter'''<br />
|''"..<!-- This is how it's written in the book, don't turn it into an ellipsis -->.but what if we tried even ''more'' power?"''<br />
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div><br />
| This is a continuation of {{what if|13|13: Laser Pointer}}. Adding even more power than the end of that article would heat the air so much that the lasers would stop themselves long before reaching the Moon. Even if we managed to get them to hit the Moon, the plasma created would be so hot that it would stop anyway.<br />
|<br />
|{{book|3|70}}<br />
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
<br />
<span id="Editors"><big><big>'''Editors'''</big></big></span> ㅤ ''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''<br />
<br />
<big>'''Add name of reader who asked the question.'''</big><br />
<br />
Here's how to add the name(s) to any question on the table. For example, this...<br />
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''<br />
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki><br />
... becomes this:<br />
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''<br />
<div align="right"></nowiki>'''—'''<font color="SeaGreen">'''''InsertNamesHere'''''</font><nowiki></div><br />
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki><br />
Copy the code and replace the green part! (NOTE: It uses the em-dash, not a normal hyphen, so don't replace the dash, or use <code>&amp;mdash;</code>.) Transcribe it exactly as it is written on the website or book, including parenthesis and age, if given by Randall. '''Protip for desktop users:''' the text looks ALL CAPS on the site, but if you copy and paste it, it's in normal Sentence Case. You can simply copy and paste.<br />
<br />
<big>'''Add YouTube video'''</big><br />
<br />
<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''</font>|VIDEO-TITLE}}<br />
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''2022'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''12'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''31'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''</font>}}<br />
<br />
<big>'''Add book chapter'''</big><br />
<br />
For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:<br />
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''1'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}<br />
<br />
For the second [[What If? 2]] book:<br />
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}<br />
<br />
'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''69'''''</font>}}<br />
<br />
If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:<br />
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''3'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}<br />
<noinclude><br />
<br />
<big>'''Link to a ''what if?'' article'''</big><br />
<br />
On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:<br />
<br />
'''EXAMPLE:'''<br />
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''158'''''</ins></font>|<font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins></font>}}<nowiki>''</nowiki>.<br />
'''RESULTS IN:'''<br />
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.<br />
<br />
NOTE: Since the blog releases are now random, please write a comment on [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}#Discussion|the newest comic's talk page]] to announce that a new ''what if?'' article is out.<br />
<br />
''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''<br />
<noinclude><br />
<span id="bottom"></span><br />
{| style="border: 1px solid {{{border|gray}}}; background-color: {{{color|#fdffe7}}};"<br />
|rowspan="2" style="vertical-align:middle;" | {{{{{|safesubst:}}}#ifeq:{{{2}}}|alt|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]}}<br />
|rowspan="2" |<br />
|style="font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;" | '''The What If? Project Barnstar'''<br />
|-<br />
|style="vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;" | <div style="font-family: Cormorant Garamond"><span style="font-size:5pt;color:black"><br />
<br />
* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">'''&nbsp;✓'''</span><big>&nbsp;'''Added:&nbsp;'''</big></span> All ~140 book-exclusive articles, each color-coded by book; reader question and Randall's answer for almost all ~70 [[What If? 2]]-exclusive articles; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].<br />
<br />
* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">'''&nbsp;✓'''</span><big>&nbsp;'''Changes:&nbsp;'''</big></span> Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted!<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Great Job to everyone who helped out on this project! If you helped out explain the articles or build the table, feel free to sign here: '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 17:44, 14 February 2025 (UTC), [[User:WriterArtistCoder|WriterArtistCoder]]<sup>[[User talk:WriterArtistCoder|talk to me]]</sup> 21:56, 11 March 2025 (UTC), [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:53, 12 March 2025 (UTC)<br />
<br />
[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3722823074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T16:39:39Z<p>Mushrooms: reformatted into gallery, as suggested</p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br><br><span style="color:grey">Different title text:</span> :3<br />
}}<br />
To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the {{xkcd|3074|original comic}}.<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Please write a better overall explanation and explain the other functions of the comic. If you see any comic images that haven't been uploaded yet, please download and add them! Also, a table might not be the most space-efficient way to display the different comic images; a gallery of imges might be better.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Up to 7 clickable cats periodically spawn (nonrandomly) all over the comic, including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you. Following this up changes the comic pane to a comic-style input dialogue with a space for the word and a submit button.<br />
** Upon providing a word, a notification informs you that you will then receive notifications (of the form "Someone else has selected the word <Your Word>!"), and that your choice is permanent and cannot be changed.<br />
** It is entirely possible to (mis-)submit a blank word, and to receive "Someone else has selected the word !" notifications.<!-- As an early mis-clicker (should have been putting focus on the text input, but missed), Incan confirm that I have received four of these, three before I quit for the night. Presumably others may have happened whilst offline. --><br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. If you chooses to accept the offer by clicking on it, it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count double of the current click rate; you can also reject the offer by continuing to click on the click counter message. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which causes all the cats to spawn when clicked. <br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
** An error with the "computer size limiter", indicating the enlarged laptop image.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"; plotting these coordinates creates an image that appears to be a turtle, apparently a reference to [[1416: Pixels]].<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
** {{w|Euler's constant}}<br />
** "We are currently experiencing 3600±1 seconds per hour. Changes to this rate will be announced six months in advance." - Referencing {{w|Leap second#Procedure|standard Leap Second procedure}}<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city. If none of the cities that it knows are selected, your location is set to the summit of {{w|Mount Washington}}.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to one of various Wikipedia pages, including: {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, (presumably, as the fourth of the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, {{w|Talk:Alarm_fatigue}}, {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, {{w|Talk:Squircle}}, {{w|Talk:Like}}, {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}, {{w|Talk:Hot dog}}, {{w|Talk:Goomba}}, {{w|Talk:Tidal locking}}, {{w|Talk:Multiple unit}}, {{w|Talk:Flag semaphore}}, {{w|Talk:Stoating}}, {{w|Talk:Roseate_spoonbill}}, {{w|Talk:Teleportation}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system. The announcements are all<!-- all my examples, and those logged on the appropriate subpage, so probably not geolocated with different systems' stops for different users --> related to stations on the {{w|London Underground}}, including the use of the phrase "{{w|Mind the gap}}".<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
===Gallery of comic images===<br />
<gallery class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" widths=100px><br />
File:3074_normal.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
File:3074_big_laptop.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
File:3074_plant_small.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
File:3074_cat_chair.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
File:3074_computer_fire.png|Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
File:3074_float.png|Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
File:3074_spin.png|Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
File:3074_desk_sit.png|Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
File:3074_gameover.png|The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
File:3074_sword.png|Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
File:3074_sailboat.png|The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
File:3074_floor.png|Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<br />
File:3074_tentacles.png|Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
File:3074_cat.png|The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
</gallery><br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:gallery_placeholder.png&diff=372274File:gallery placeholder.png2025-04-10T16:26:00Z<p>Mushrooms: i'm using this so the gallery keeps the captions</p>
<hr />
<div>== Summary ==<br />
i'm using this so the gallery keeps the captions<br />
== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file derived}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3722263074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T12:50:42Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a CHAIR-SIZED CAT. Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. If you see any comic images that haven't been uploaded yet, please add them! Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you. Following this up changes the comic pane to a comic-style input dialogue with a space for the word and a submit button.<br />
** Upon providing a word, a notification informs you that you will then receive notifications (of the form "Someone else has selected the word <Your Word>!"), and that your choice is permanent and cannot be changed.<br />
** It is entirely possible to (mis-)submit a blank word, and to receive "Someone else has selected the word !" notifications.<!-- As an early mis-clicker (should have been putting focus on the text input, but missed), Incan confirm that I have received four of these, three before I quit for the night. Presumably others may have happened whilst offline. --><br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
** "We are currently experiencing 3600±1 seconds per hour. Changes to this rate will be announced six months in advance." - Referencing {{w|Leap second#Procedure|standard Leap Second procedure}}<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system. The announcements are all<!-- all my examples, and those logged on the appropriate subpage, so probably not geolocated with different systems' stops for different users --> related to stations on the {{w|London Underground}}, including the use of the phrase "{{w|Mind the gap}}".<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! Explanation<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_big_laptop.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_plant_small.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_cat_chair.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_float.png|100px]] || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_spin.png|100px]] || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_desk_sit.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|100px]] || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sword.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_floor.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3722243074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T12:46:48Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you. Following this up changes the comic pane to a comic-style input dialogue with a space for the word and a submit button.<br />
** Upon providing a word, a notification informs you that you will then receive notifications (of the form "Someone else has selected the word <Your Word>!"), and that your choice is permanent and cannot be changed.<br />
** It is entirely possible to (mis-)submit a blank word, and to receive "Someone else has selected the word !" notifications.<!-- As an early mis-clicker (should have been putting focus on the text input, but missed), Incan confirm that I have received four of these, three before I quit for the night. Presumably others may have happened whilst offline. --><br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
** "We are currently experiencing 3600±1 seconds per hour. Changes to this rate will be announced six months in advance." - Referencing {{w|Leap second#Procedure|standard Leap Second procedure}}<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system. The announcements are all<!-- all my examples, and those logged on the appropriate subpage, so probably not geolocated with different systems' stops for different users --> related to stations on the {{w|London Underground}}, including the use of the phrase "{{w|Mind the gap}}".<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! Explanation<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_big_laptop.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_plant_small.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_cat_chair.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_float.png|100px]] || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_spin.png|100px]] || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_desk_sit.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|100px]] || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sword.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_floor.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_sword.png&diff=372223File:3074 sword.png2025-04-10T12:42:59Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_float.png&diff=372222File:3074 float.png2025-04-10T12:40:33Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3722193074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T11:17:17Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you. Following this up changes the comic pane to a comic-style input dialogue with a space for the word and a submit button.<br />
** Upon providing a word, a notification informs you that you will then receive notifications (of the form "Someone else has selected the word <Your Word>!"), and that your choice is permanent and cannot be changed.<br />
** It is entirely possible to (mis-)submit a blank word, and to receive "Someone else has selected the word !" notifications.<!-- As an early mis-clicker (should have been putting focus on the text input, but missed), Incan confirm that I have received four of these, three before I quit for the night. Presumably others may have happened whilst offline. --><br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
** "We are currently experiencing 3600±1 seconds per hour. Changes to this rate will be announced six months in advance." - Referencing {{w|Leap second#Procedure|standard Leap Second procedure}}<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system. The announcements are all<!-- all my examples, and those logged on the appropriate subpage, so probably not geolocated with different systems' stops for different users --> related to stations on the {{w|London Underground}}, including the use of the phrase "{{w|Mind the gap}}".<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! explanation<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_big_laptop.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_plant_small.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_cat_chair.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_spin.png|100px]] || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_desk_sit.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|100px]] || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_floor.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_plant_small.png&diff=372218File:3074 plant small.png2025-04-10T11:16:34Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3722003074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T09:23:48Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.<br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system.<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! description<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_big_laptop.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_cat_chair.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_spin.png|100px]] || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_desk_sit.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|100px]] || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_floor.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_desk_sit.png&diff=372199File:3074 desk sit.png2025-04-10T09:23:21Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3721983074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T09:21:22Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.<br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system.<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! description<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_big_laptop.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_cat_chair.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_spin.png|100px]] || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|100px]] || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_floor.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_spin.png&diff=372197File:3074 spin.png2025-04-10T09:21:00Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3721963074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T09:18:44Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.<br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system.<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! description<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_big_laptop.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_cat_chair.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|100px]] || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_floor.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_big_laptop.png&diff=372195File:3074 big laptop.png2025-04-10T09:17:46Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3721943074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T09:10:09Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.<br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system.<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! description<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_cat_chair.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|100px]] || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_floor.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_cat_chair.png&diff=372193File:3074 cat chair.png2025-04-10T09:09:38Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3721923074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T09:07:47Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.<br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system.<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! description<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|100px]] || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_floor.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_floor.png&diff=372190File:3074 floor.png2025-04-10T09:06:33Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3721893074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T09:04:13Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.<br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system.<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! description<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|100px]] || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:Example.jpg]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_gameover.png&diff=372188File:3074 gameover.png2025-04-10T09:01:51Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3074:_Push_Notifications&diff=3721863074: Push Notifications2025-04-10T08:58:34Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{comic<br />
| number = 3074<br />
| date = April 9, 2025<br />
| title = Push Notifications<br />
| image = push_notifications_2x.png<br />
| imagesize = 277x347px<br />
| noexpand = true<br />
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br />
}}<br />
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].<br />
<br />
==Explanation==<br />
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].<br />
<br />
After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.<br />
<br />
Notification types include:<br />
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.<br />
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.<br />
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.<br />
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times. There will be new messages up to a total of at least 1000 clicks.<br />
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.<br />
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.<br />
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"<br />
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"<br />
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"<br />
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.<br />
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].<br />
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.<br />
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.<br />
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.<br />
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."<br />
** An error for not enough errors.<br />
** An error for too many errors.<br />
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38<br />
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded<br />
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.<br />
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.<br />
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"<br />
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include<br />
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)<br />
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)<br />
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)<br />
** Zero (a real number)<br />
** Your favorite number (14)<br />
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)<br />
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.<br />
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).<br />
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.<br />
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel<br />
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications<br />
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the Wikipedia page {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, or (presumably)<!-- remove if you experience it! --> {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, as these are the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about. Or {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, or {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}.<br />
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system.<br />
<br />
The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.<br />
<br />
The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.<br />
<br />
Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.<br />
<br />
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"<br />
|+ {{nowrap|Table of comic images}}<br />
! Image !! description<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_normal.png|100px]] ||Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.<br />
|-<br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.<br />
|- <br />
| || Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball spinning in his chair.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.<br />
|- <br />
| || The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.<br />
|- <br />
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|100px]] || The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.<br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop<br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball with a squirrel on his head.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| || Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|- <br />
| [[File:Example.jpg]] || Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.<!-- Someone confirm, only found this in code --><br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|100px]] || Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.<br />
|-<br />
| [[File:3074_cat.png|50px]] || The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}<br />
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]<br />
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]<br />
:Happy April 1st (observed)! <br />
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics! <br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong. <br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications. <br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right? <br />
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week. <br />
:So you just send a notification for each update, right? <br />
:That’s what we thought, too. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]<br />
:Sign: Emergency STOP<br />
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span><br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications. <br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications. <br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed. <br />
:This part definitely works. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:We’re sorry. <br />
:We don’t know how things went so wrong. <br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.<br />
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time. <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:No, really. <br />
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications. <br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems. <br />
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big><br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)<br />
<br />
:Are you sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:Absolutely sure? <br />
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown) <br />
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.<br />
<br />
:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span><br />
<br />
<br />
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]<br />
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)<br />
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.<br />
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]<br />
<br />
:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]<br />
<br />
:[First page of messages]<br />
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!<br />
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.<br />
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.<br />
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''<br />
<br />
:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]<br />
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?<br />
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.<br />
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?<br />
:That's what we thought, too.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popover messages]<br />
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.<br />
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.<br />
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.<br />
:This part definitely works.<br />
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''<br />
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop<br />
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything<br />
<br />
:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]<br />
:We're sorry.<br />
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.<br />
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.<br />
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''<br />
<br />
:[Next set.]<br />
:No, really.<br />
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.<br />
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.<br />
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications<br />
<br />
:[Just two popovers, initially]<br />
:Are you sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes<br />
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]<br />
:Absolutely sure?<br />
:['Onwards':] Yes!!<br />
:[On clicking, a further popover]<br />
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.<br />
<br />
:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]<br />
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow<br />
<br />
:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]<br />
:Success!!<br />
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost<br />
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.<br />
<br />
:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]<br />
{{comic discussion}}<br />
[[Category:Interactive comics]]<br />
[[Category:April fools' comics]]</div>Mushroomshttps://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=File:3074_sailboat.png&diff=372185File:3074 sailboat.png2025-04-10T08:56:54Z<p>Mushrooms: </p>
<hr />
<div>== Licensing ==<br />
{{XKCD file}}</div>Mushrooms